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#but as i expected i was too worked up to sleep more than 30 minutes so i just kinda. laid there for four hours...
thebewilderer · 29 days
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HOLY FUCK
so my qualifying exam was due at 11:59 pm with an "ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS" type of attitude and at 11:53 i wrote my validation section in about forty five sections and at 11:56 i wrote the worst introduction i've ever written in my life in about fifteen seconds total and at 11:58 i was about to hit submit and realized i'd left off a whole code file and had to go back into "add a file" and look for the missing file and thank fuck i name all my code files by what version they are and then the file name because it only took me a minute to find it and it was a WHOLE MINUTE and then i smashed the submit button and gave myself a fucking heart attack at EXACLTY eleven fifty nine oclock and SECONDS after that it turned twelve and i think that took ten years off my life span
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antiwhores · 1 month
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You accidentally had sex with Bakugou.
You two had fallen asleep in his room after a hang out. You were bestfriends but you had some underlining feelings for him. So when you woke up in the middle of the night to him cuddling you, you almost choked.
You needed to pee really bad so sadly you had to pry yourself out of his arms. When you came back his eyes were cracked open just barely. He mumbled something before opening his arms for you to join him again.
It was out of character, maybe tired Bakugou was just a touchy guy. It couldn’t be more than that.
So you joined him on the bed. You buried your face into his neck. You had to savor this cause most likely this’ll be the last time this happens. Also, you were too tired to freak out. You just wanted to fall asleep in his arms.
You can barely explain what happened after that. He hiked your leg onto him, still with his half open eyes, and thrusted right against your clothed pussy.
The next thing you know, he’s dry humping you. And then he’s fingering you. And finally he’s fucking you.
It felt good, too good.
But the morning after? You felt embarrassed. No way you just fucked him without even a first date. He’s gonna think you’re easy. He might even tell everyone that you are.
Of course, that would never happen but you were panicked. You couldn’t possibly comprehend that the great Ground Zero chose you. You weren’t famous. Not a vogue model, a hero, or even wealthy. You had nothing to give him.
He had to be messing with you.
So you slipped out of his hold at 5am sharp and went home.
You fell back to sleep in tears and woke up to several texts and calls. Good thing you had your ringer off.
Bakugou - 6:34am
Where’d you go?
I was gonna make you breakfast dumbass
Bakugou - 6:52
Y/n?
Missed call - 7:00am
Bakugou - 7:30
Is this about last night?
I’ll wait for that call back so we can talk about it.
Missed call - 10:03am
Bakugou - 10:05
Call me and we can talk about it. This ignoring me isn’t gonna make it go away.
Missed call - 11:12
Missed call - 11:26
Missed call - 11-31
Bakugou - 11:40
Fucking call me back, this shit isn’t funny.
You’re so lucky I don’t know where you live yet. I’d be there in 15 minutes if I knew.
You debated calling him back. But your embarrassment and anger stopped you from letting him explain himself. How could he use your feelings against you like that! He probably knew that you liked him and wanted a quick fuck.
You started to cry all over again.
A week passed by with no contact. He sent you the occasional text telling you to talk to him but after the 6th day he seemed to give up. At least you thought that until he showed up at your door.
You opened the door wide without checking who it was since you were expecting a package. Your eyes widened when you noticed the blonde leaning against the doorframe, still in his hero costume. He must’ve just gotten off work, saving civilians and climbing the charts. It was another reminder of how he could never want you.
“You gonna let me in or am I-“
You tried to slam the door in his face but he shoved it back open easily. He let himself in, scanning the place.
“Nice place, ‘don’t see why you hadn’t invited me over.”
Maybe it’s because your small, cosy apartment didn’t compare to his high rise penthouse at the top floor.
You grabbed his arm and tried to pull him out. But he wasn’t having it and didn’t let you move him an inch.
“You need to leave, Bakugou.”
“Wow. Last name basis and I was inside you a week ago.”
“Yeah well that shouldn’t have happened.”
“Okay but it did so let’s fuckin’ talk about it.”
You just wanted him to leave before you bursted out in tears. You shook your head, trying to pull him harder but to no avail. Your lip quivered in frustration as tears welled up in your eyes.
Suddenly, he threw you over his shoulder and set you on the couch.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
You broke down in tears.
You told him everything, every assumption you made and every insecurity. You told him how you liked him but you knew he didn’t like you back. He sat there patiently, not speaking a word until you were done.
He got up with a blank face. You thought he was gonna leave at first but he kneeled down to be eye to eye with you.
“Wanna go on a date?”
It surprised you. It was the last thing he expected you to say.
“I’ll take you on a date and prove to you how much I want you. And for the record, I’ve probably liked you longer than you have me. When we met in that coffee shop I immediately knew you were the one I wanted. ‘S rude of you of you to make assumptions but I’ll let it pass if you go on a date with me.”
You agreed as he wiped off your tears. Who were you to say no?
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capricornlevi · 2 months
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inevitability- nanami x f!reader
tags: friends to lovers, salaryman!nanami, breeding, unprotected sex, fingering, missionary, mating press, creampie, mild cumplay
cw: alcohol (all sex sober & consensual!), pregnancy mentions, rough but v v consensual sex, reader and nanami are both in their late 20s/early 30s
word count: 5.3k
a/n: in which your decide with your good friend of many years that it's time to get you pregnant <3 this has been festering in my brain and i know it's pretty different than what i usually write but ! here it is! ahh! sounds of me screaming!
//
"this is weird, y'know?" you blurt out, watching as nanami hangs up his jacket by your front door before settling down beside you on the couch. he keeps a respectful distance, resting his hands on his broad thighs and smoothing down the fabric of his slacks, clearly nervous. "this is very, very weird. like, weird at levels i don't think people have achieved before."
"i know," nanami replies diplomatically, as if he could be anything but excruciatingly aware of how unconventional this is. "are you having second thoughts? because i completely understand --"
you shake your head abruptly. "no, no, just ... thinking aloud, i guess. just getting used to this, because it's really ... um ..."
"weird?" nanami offers helpfully, and you turn to nod.
"weird."
because what else do you call agreeing to have a baby with your platonic friend of 10 years?
you first met nanami on the second day of college and knew right away he'd be a good dad, even back when having kids wasn't even a consideration for you. it was obvious; he was already a good dad back then, with how he looked out for his underclassmen even as he progressed through his degree. how he stayed sober when he knew people would be going overboard, not sleeping until you texted him to confirm you'd gotten home safe after a party.
he helped you study at the weekends and, in return, you provided him with a discount at the local cafe where you worked. through this time spent knocking back americanos and proofing each other's work, you grew close.
even with all his responsibility and good sense contrasting your exuberance and recklessness, you found yourself enjoying being with him. and he could be funny, too, delivering sharp and witty quips when you least expected it.
you became inseparable. insufferable, some would call it; the matching-halloween-costume type of insufferable, a borderline codependent but obliviously happy friendship that can only be fostered on a college campus.
then right after college, when you had dived straight into your quarter-life crisis and dyed your hair every colour under the sun, got piercings in too many places, slept with questionable people and dated some even worse, nanami had gotten himself a decent, impressive, well-paying job. it was a job that had him wearing tailored suits at 23, paired with fancy glasses that cost more than your rent, and you'd laughed at him, at how serious he looked. but you also worried at how the bags under his eyes grew deeper and darker, how the amused lilt to his voice started to dissipate as time went on.
his 9 to 5 turned to an 8 to 6, and then he was working weekends and skipping movie nights, missing out on meeting new boyfriends of yours, fading into the periphery of your life with you unable to do anything about it.
as with all relationships in your twenties, it was hard to stay in touch. the higher he climbed up the career ladder, the further you grew apart.
soon, it was only on holidays or birthdays when you both would reach out, cordial and civil but achingly unfamiliar.
then, on your twenty-ninth birthday, drunk at a bar and having taken a couple minutes away from your raucous friend group, you had stepped outside to grab some fresh air only to walk head-on into nanami's firm chest.
you had spluttered apologies, lifting your head to see who you had headbutted, only to find your old friend looking down at you with an amused look on his face.
and just like that, things picked up where they left off. you spent the night talking, catching up over drinks and laughter.
with a tone that was only half-teasing, you had asked him what brought him out tonight -- it was hard enough to get him to come out for drinks when you were both in college, much less now with his big fancy job.
but he had laughed in that gentle, airy way you'd heard a thousand times, explaining that he had been out socialising with clients who had just left minutes before. he was just on his way out before running into you.
perfect timing. painfully perfect.
you stayed talking until last call, making exhilarated promises to get in touch the next day.
and to your surprise, you both actually stuck to that.
in the ten months since then, you've met up every sunday for breakfast at your favourite cafe. over lattes and freshly baked croissants, you fill each other in on the details of the half-decade spent apart. he had a serious girlfriend, serious to the point of moving in together, but she'd gotten spooked and left him last summer to go travelling. he was hurt, obviously, but understood her perspective in that annoyingly calm, measured way that is just part of his nature.
and on your end -- despite the drunken circumstances in which you'd been reacquainted, which is all part of moderation, after all -- you've actually calmed down considerably since your early twenties.
you have your own apartment. you have a rescue cat you care for immensely, even when he tries wriggling out of your arms to go stare out the window at passing cyclists. you have a retirement fund, started yoga, learned to bake your own bread.
you're not boring, you still have fun and let off steam whenever you can, but you're having the sort of revelations about life that nanami seems to have had years ago.
fun is good. fun is important. but it can't be everything, because then it starts to come at a cost.
truthfully, the birth of your nephew is what prompted you to make some changes. you didn't want to show up to babysit hungover. you wanted to have funds to hand in order to treat him to little toys and sweets when your sister allowed it, and soon found yourself amazed at how his little face lit up every time he saw you.
it made you grow up, and fast.
in the course of your cafe hangouts, you had mentioned your nephew to nanami. showed pictures of the boy's pudgy little hands reaching for the camera, told stories of how he could tell the difference between new episodes of Bluey versus reruns, and how he's changed your entire life without even realising.
soon, talk about your nephew turned to general musings about your own future.
then one night, when you decided to switch your meetup location from the cafe to a cocktail bar, you shared something that you had barely admitted to yourself.
you wanted to have a kid.
this realisation wasn't borne from some crisis about entering a new decade, it wasn't something forced on you by others or general societal pressure. it was something that grew organically, inspired by the honour of watching your little nephew grow up.
to your surprise, nanami didn't scoff or dismiss you. you figured he'd have rolled his eyes, laughing off your confession since you weren't in a committed relationship.
instead, he expressed similar sentiments, but for slightly different reasons.
"i'm sick of work being my whole life," he had mused quickly, sipping an old fashioned with a funny look in his eye. "it was only when we started hanging out again that i realised how much of my life I've wasted at a place that wouldn't care if i lived or died."
"do i need to be worried about you having the type of rebellious streak the rest of us went through ten years ago?" you asked, smiling and fidgeting with one of your rings without thinking.
he waved off your suggestion with a fond roll of his eyes. "i'm not impulsively quitting or anything, don't worry. just want to take a step back, i suppose, or find something with shorter hours. i just think there's more to life than endless hours slaving behind a desk."
you toasted to that sentiment, knocking back the last of your cosmo.
nanami continued, watching you set your empty glass back down with a soft grin on his lips. "the whole family, kids thing ... i get it, you know? it makes sense."
"yeah?" you pried carefully, interested to see where this is going.
"i'd be lying if i said i didn't think about it, too. i have a nest egg saved up which means i'd be able to take time off to help with a kid, to actually be there to see them grow up. and it's not that i want to have one just because i think i need to -- i think i'd be decent at it, y'know? the whole parenting thing."
you obviously agreed. you'd thought the same for a while now, and getting reacquainted with the man has only spurred on those thoughts.
he really would be perfect.
the issue wasn't discussed further that night, but it was brought up again at coffee the following sunday, then at the bakery the week after that, and before long, it was your birthday again.
after a massive party with all your friends and family -- and a little too much wine -- nanami had stayed behind to help you clean up, because of course he would, and you got to talking again, got to revisiting that topic that had been at the back of both of your minds.
you can't remember the exact wording of the discussion or how many bottles of prosecco fuelled the conversation, but what you do know is that when you sobered up, you didn't regret agreeing to it.
you were gonna have a kid together.
you and nanami.
coparenting.
as outlandish an idea as it might seme on the surface, when looking at it a little deeper, it made sense to you. this wasn't decided on a whim. this was something that had momentum building behind it for months and months, perhaps even years, without you even realising.
when meeting up for coffee the following week, you both gave each other an out. said there'd be no big deal if things were called off. but neither one of you took it, despite laughing for what felt like hours about how bizarre it all felt.
still, no sign of backing out.
which brings you to tonight, the agreed-upon date of when you'd start trying.
nanami had suggested using artificial fertility methods if that made you more comfortable, but you politely turned him down, thinking it unnecessary. he wasn't a stranger -- plus, you'd be lying if you said he wasn't objectively attractive -- so if he had no objections to trying things the old-fashioned way, then you didn't either.
and he obviously didn't mind too much since he's now here on your couch, folding his arms and then unfolding them as he waited for you to make the first move.
he looks good, despite all the nerves. he's filled out over the years, though he was always strong, with every muscle in his body well-defined and perfectly proportional. his hair is still blond but with the faintest specks of grey, his skin brighter and more well-rested than that night you got reacquainted.
his deep brown eyes stay fixed on you and your skin heats as his gaze traces over you.
"do you want me to kiss you?" you break the silence, the words tumble messily from your mouth.
he looks taken aback, as if this was something he'd vaguely considered but never thought would actually happen.
"do ... do you want to?"
his earnestness has you smiling, cutting through the tension, and you meet his eyes properly for the first time since he arrived tonight. he always has this way of making you feel comfortable, his presence alone is like an embrace that calms the racing thoughts that constantly occupy your mind.
it's only now that you're close, so close, you realise that maybe you really do want to --
"i wouldn't suggest it otherwise," you murmur softly as if your heart isn't hammering against your ribcage, shifting nearer to him on the couch but keeping that last bridge of distance for him to close.
his tongue swipes over his lower lip, almost subconsciously demonstrating his wishes as his line of sight drifts down to your mouth. he nods then, dipping his head, only a couple inches of space between you now.
"yeah -- yeah, okay."
you can see how his pupils dilate as you reach out to slip his glasses off, setting them down on the coffee table, cupping his face in your hands.
he returns your smile at that gesture, just the slightest hint of nerves in his eyes that disappear when he finally decides to press your lips to yours.
his lips are softer than you imagined ... though until this very moment, you hadn't even realised that this was something you had imagined.
he lets you set the rhythm but doesn't shy away; he meets your movements, your energy at every kiss, letting you stop for a moment to adjust yourself as things progress.
this should feel weird, right? you should have some lingering feeling of awkwardness at making out with your best friend, at taking his hand in yours and setting it down on your thigh to show you want him to touch you?
this was supposed to be a relatively unromantic event, after all. it wasn't meant to be the start of anything. though it was never clinical or unemotional -- you're technically starting a family together, after all, if an entirely unconventional one -- you never foresaw it going down like this.
this feels like something that was meant to happen.
he pulls back ever-so-slightly, lips still grazing against yours as he asks softly, "this okay?"
you nod by way of answer, not wanting to waste another second not kissing him. nanami captures your lips with his again, and with renewed enthusiasm, slips his tongue into your mouth, probing gently and barely hiding the low rumble of a groan deep in his throat.
all thoughts of propriety start to fade into the ether. his hand on your thigh burns hot, shifting up and down the exposed skin. you'd worn a nice dress for the evening, unsure of the dress code for an event as strange as this, but you find yourself grateful for choosing something that fell so far above the knee.
his hands are rougher than his lips but not in an unpleasant way. you figure it's from his only out-of-work hobby that doesn't consist of hanging out with you; his renovation group. nanami is part of a volunteer organisation that helps build and renovate houses for those in need -- as if he couldn't get any more painfully perfect, obviously.
you stay like that for a few more minutes, exploring these new sensations and becoming increasingly more aware of the ball of anticipation burning in your lower stomach. everywhere he touches you feels warm, every soft nip against your lips feels electric.
then, against every instinct in your body, you force yourself to pause to take a few steadying breaths. nanami responds in the same way, pulling his hands back to his own thighs, adjusting his stance on the couch.
he's hard, you can see as much from the awkward way he shuffles in his seat. not to mention the bulge very obviously visible in the front of his slacks -- just seeing it fills you with want, with the need to touch and be touched.
this is moving more fluidly than you had expected, arriving at each decision without a second thought. in that vein, you decide to ask:
"want to head to the bedroom?", hoping you don't sound as desperate as you're feeling. "if you're ready -"
"yes," he responds before you've even finished your sentence. you feel grateful that the eagerness is not one-sided as you get to your feet, taking nanami by the hand to pull him up with you.
when you've reached your room and the door is shut behind you, revealing the modest set up of your freshly-made bed and a single scented candle -- any more than that felt a little too forced, too awkward -- you marvel at the feeling of nanami's hands on your hips, somehow gentle and firm at the same time, manoeuvring you onto the bed with a pre-rehearsed confidence that never verges on forceful.
your head hasn't even hit the pillow before he's kissing you again like he's starving for it. it's messy this time, the gentle exploration from before giving way to something more primal and urgent.
you have to remind yourself that this is your nanami you're kissing. the nanami who was there for you through the most painful college breakups. the nanami who knows your coffee order, who helped zip up the back of your graduation dress.
but now, with his tongue against yours and the stiffness pressing against your stomach, all you can think is why you didn't do this sooner?
just as you're about to combust underneath him, he pulls back, balancing himself on an elbow as his eyes flick down to see how your dress is bunched at the top of your thighs. he closes his eyes, his breaths ragged and unsteady.
"i don't know how--" he whispers, tongue gliding over his kiss-slick lips, "how ... technical you might want to go about this."
you let out a little laugh, craning your neck to kiss his jawline so he knows it's not at his expense.
"i never really thought about the technicalities, but it doesn't have to be too clinical, or anything. i know you, you know me. we can just ... have sex."
"have sex," he repeats slowly, eyes open again, the hint of a grin on his face.
"yeah, have sex!" you answer with a chuckle. "or is there another way you'd like me to phrase it?"
he laughs then too, looking at you again as he shakes his head softly.
"what?" you press him with a mock indignance. "it's rude to laugh at my suggestion, actually. i felt it was pretty accurate."
"i'm not laughing at you," he says gently, lips still curved upwards. "just ... i must have pictured you saying those words a thousand times, and i never thought it -- it's just funny to hear out loud, is all."
it takes you a second to fully comprehend the words as they wash over you.
you'd be ignorant to say that the realisation never dawned on you, but it was something you thought was a relic of your college years. he had blushed a few times too many whenever the topic of sex came up at parties, had a hint of jealousy in his voice when giving advice about one particular ex-boyfriend. at your apartment complex's winter party in senior year, you can tell he was thinking about kissing you.
but that was when you were young and naive, inexperienced with life, and the thought of this nanami desiring you, of picturing you in his life, of imagining what you'd look like spread out underneath him like this --
you lift your head and grab his shirt collar, yanking him in for another kiss. when he's settled back against you, your hands weave down to unbutton his shirt. you feel him smile against your lips as he starts to unzip your dress in return.
you're a mess of limbs as items of clothing get strewn across your bedroom carpet. before long, it's all skin-on-skin, the heat of his body pressed against yours before he grabs your waist and flips you over until you're straddling him.
you feel the length of him pressed against your stomach, hot and painfully hard, but from the way he cups his hand against your neck and starts to kiss your throat, you know he's not going to rush this.
just as you gasp out his name as his teeth nip against your pulse point, he brings his other hand to the apex of your thighs, fingertips resting just over your pubic bone, barely brushing against the sensitive skin.
"want me to touch you?" he mumbles quietly against your throat, the way his breath fans over you making you shiver.
you nod pitifully, hips canting towards him, but he doesn't budge.
"need you to say it," he says low, quiet, thumb shifting down by the millimetre, "need to know how much you want it."
"i want it," you gasp, the arch of your back deepening the closer he gets to your aching core, all concerns about appearing desperate evaporating with every press of his lips to your skin. "i want it, kento, p- please touch me."
nanami obliges, fingertips trailing down until his thumb is brushing over your clit. he slides his hand lower, fingers slipping through your damp lips, and then uses your own wetness to start rubbing you in earnest.
any form of articulate thought slips from your mind, replaced with only those that can get you more of this -- nanami's fingers playing with your clit, the other hand possessively resting at your nape, his cock pressed between you with precum beading at the tip.
you want it in your mouth. you want it inside you, and as you go to shift your hips, nanami shifts his back.
"want to see what you look like when you come first," he says, slipping his middle and ring finger inside you as if to prove he's going about it the right way.
and he really is, because after only a few strokes of his fingers, your vision is getting hazy. you've never been this turned on so quickly before, never felt this desperate, all-consuming urge -- but then again, you've never had a man look at you like this before now either.
you try to focus on the sensation of his fingers stretching you open, his thumb still stroking your clit in the perfect rhythm, but your mind wanders to the thick cock pressed up against you. you want to rub against him, let him fill you up, make him feel good too --
but looking at his face now, pupils blown and lower lip raw from biting down on it, you can tell this is as much for him as it is for you.
less than a minute later it hits you, the explosion of warmth radiates out to every cell in your body, rendering you a boneless mess in nanami's arms.
he holds you as the aftershock subsides, strong arms keeping you steady even when your legs feel as though they've turned to jelly. when you feel capable of supporting yourself, you slide ungracefully from where you were perched on his thighs and fall back against your pillows, head spinning blissfully.
nanami leans down next to you and kisses your forehead, whispering words of praise that fill you with a strange sensation you can't quite place.
"want to take a break?" he ask after a few moments have passed, "or if you're tired, we can try again later --"
"no," you cut him off, turning your head to look at him directly, face splitting into a smile through the post-orgasm haze. "i just need a second is all, i still -- if you want to --"
"i do."
and so to ease yourself back into it, you kiss him slowly, intimately, bodies gently intertwining as he shifts closer to you on the bed. you guide his hands to your chest, gasping as his thumb circles a nipple.
"you're just ... beautiful in a way i don't really have words for," he mumbles, watching you squirm pleasurably under him.
"nanami kento lost for words? a first time for everything," you manage to quip through it all, earning a pinch of the other nipple that turns your laugh into a moan.
"we've plenty more firsts to get through tonight."
at that, nanami shifts halfway down the mattress and gets to his knees, hands gripping your thighs as he spreads them open. he takes his cock in his hand and slowly drags the head through your folds, up and down but not yet penetrating you, appreciating how you're almost sucking him in, the eager way you pull back your legs to accommodate him.
he stays like that for a minute. every time you think he's about to sink in, he holds himself back as if transfixed by the obscene sounds that come from playing with your pussy, of using you to stroke himself off.
he looks to be on the verge of a choice, like his brain is fighting between two options: taking you slow and gentle like you deserve, or sinking in and fucked into you desperately, filling you up until he knows he's bred you, that you're his and only his.
you soon glean that he wants you to actually say it out loud, wants to hear those words he's fantasised about for so long.
"fuck me, kento."
now utterly unable to hold off any longer, he heeds your request, lining up and thrusting inside you in one fluid motion.
it's a pleasant stretch; he's still careful to let you adjust to his size but you're soon relishing the feeling of being so full, and the fucked-out grin on your face spurs him on.
his hips shift back inch by inch until he's almost fully pulled out, letting out a low groan as he sinks back in again, and at that, he knows he's a goner, completely lost to the feeling of his entire length buried inside you.
this is nanami at his most possessive, fucking into you as you're caged in by his strong arms, your knees now pulled back as far as they'll go. the skin on the back of your thighs is raw from your nails digging into them but you don't care, single-minded in your aim to keep the head of his cock brushing against that perfect spot inside you.
your shoulder blades press into your soft pillows as you try to keep from writhing too much, wanting with all of your might to avoid upsetting this perfect rhythm.
above you, nanami's perfect cheekbones are flushed, his brows knit tightly together, your silky walls wrapping tight around his cock in a way that's driving him to the brink sooner than he'd like. against all better judgment, he slows down just slightly, allowing himself to indulge in the sensation.
"you take my cock so well, y'know that?" he mumbles in between quiet grunts, "with that pretty look on your face when i fill you up... you're trying to kill me, i swear to god."
you both laugh breathlessly before yours breaks off in a moan, slurring his name as he speeds up subconsciously. he presses his lips to every inch of your neck, jaw, collarbone, thrusts unrelenting but never too much.
if you weren't already aware of how soaked you are, the slick sounds of his cock sliding in and out of you provide more than enough proof, melding with the soft squeak of your bedsprings to just about cut through the muffled sound of your moans.
your body now guided more by instinct than intention, you slip your hand down to where your hips are pressed together, two fingers circling the swollen bud of your clit. the angle of his ruts means his cock grazes your fingertips as he pulls out, the desperate rubbing of your hand between your legs spurring him on.
"still want me to come inside you?" he says then, strands of hair coming loose, sticking to his forehead, "want me to fill you up?"
you nod feebly -- the answer clearly not sufficient in itself, since he leans in, pressing his forehead to yours as he meets you for a wet, messy kiss. continuing his question with his lips still touching yours, he asks;
"want me to take care of you? want to be my pretty wife, hm, wanna -- fuck -- wanna be mine, yeah?"
you slur something unintelligible, focusing on the second orgasm gathering quick and hot in your core. you lose your grip on your thighs and fumble to pull your legs back up.
nanami helps to hike your legs back up -- but not in their original position. instead, he guides them until your ankles rest on his shoulders, and after taking just a second to press a kiss to your calf, he sinks back to the hilt. feeling him bottom out, your vision nearly goes white; this new angle allows him to slide in so deep it's practically splitting you open, so deep you can tell he's serious about breeding you.
somehow, the sensation remains just shy of too much -- it's not too much of a stretch or causing too much sensitivity -- it's more than you've ever taken but you honestly feel you could stay like this forever, taking nanami's cock like you were made for it, with him looking down at you with a mixture of reverence and pure lust.
you want him like this for the rest of your life.
"i'm gonna need you to answer, cos I'm pretty close," he half-pleads as if reading your mind, his voice deep and strained, firm chest heaving as the thrusts get messier and less coordinated.
though your mind is near-blank and your lungs feel they can't get enough air, you manage to mumble a "fuck, yes. want -- want you to come inside, kento ... please."
that last word tips him over with you following almost immediately after, clenching around his cock as you feel him pulsing inside you, feeling more full than you've ever felt in your life. his head tips back as he cums, moaning beautiful praise you can just about make out, strands of sentences about you being the only one he wants taking his come, about how he's going to keep fucking you full for as long as it takes.
sparks of electricity reverberate through your body, hips pushing against his as you ride out your orgasm, pretty little whimpers harmonising with nanami's continued praise.
you stay like that for what seems like forever, basking in the wave of pleasure that's just swept you away effortlessly.
everything is just ... warm. purely and blissfully warm. the warmth of his hands still gripping your legs, the warmth of your own breath fanning over your sweaty chest, the warmth between your legs that starts to dribble down the backs of your thighs when nanami pulls out.
for good measure, nanami uses two fingers to push some of his come back inside, grinning as aftershocks pulse around the digits.
you lower your tired legs to rest on the mattress, thighs aching from being bent practically in half, but it's easy to disregard any physical exhaustion when you feel this level of contentment.
nanami's arms are soon wrapped around you, pulling you to rest on top of his chest where you spend some moments of perfect silence.
you can hear his heart beating in his chest, skipping a beat when you angle your head up to meet his gaze again.
"well?" you ask, a smile imbued in your words. "still lost for words?"
"just thinking about how every second of this was worth waiting for," he replies without missing a beat, eyes crinkling at the corners as he watches how his answer flusters you.
with one hand behind his head as he rests of the pillow and the other wrapped around your shoulders, nanami looks more relaxed than you've maybe ever seen him.
this is a man who looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown when you reconnected less than a year ago; he's almost unrecognisable now, the dark circles under his eyes have faded, his face filling out a bit more, the smile on his face entirely genuine.
and in this moment you feel a burst of clarity, a sudden realisation that's eluded you since that first night you met in college.
maybe -- just maybe -- you're as good an influence on him as he is on you.
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urrockstar-xe · 5 months
Text
math test - p.parker x fem!reader
posted jan 27th, 2024 3:28 pm
came up with this cutesy idea the other day, hope u enjoy :)
summary: Peter's tired of allowing Spider-Man to be a shitty boyfriend, so he makes up for it the only way he can think of that wouldn't get you in trouble.
masterlist
not proofread
wordcount: 0.8k
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It was nearing 2 in the morning when Peter slowly lifted his window open from the outside, not so gracefully falling inside once it was a wide enough gap, followed by him stumbling several times as he tried to close his window while simultaneously trying to take off the red and blue spandex suit that so badly needs a wash.
The sound of his old bed frame creaking caught Peter’s attention once he finally pulled on some sweatpants. 
He whipped around, his gaze immediately falling to your half-asleep figure in his bed, a familiar sight now, one Peter had adored. Your half-opened eyes tried to focus on his silhouette. 
“Shit, hey sweetheart I didn’t mean to wake you” Peter’s whispered apology was laced with a soft muffled tone as he pulled a hoodie over his head, not bothering to fix his hair as he made his way towards his bed. “Didn’t know you were sleepin’ over tonight” He said with a tired smile playing on his lips, the bags under his eyes failing to distract you from the beauty that was your sleep-deprived boyfriend as you merely scooted over for him to join you. 
“Supposed to help me study for that test” you mumbled, no malice in your voice, no hints of irritation, not even a slight sadness to your voice at the thought of him forgetting about your plans. All you cared about at this moment was your boyfriend cuddling with you, using all your energy to open your arms for him to slide into. 
Peter stopped dead in his tracks, looking down by the nightstand and seeing your backpack on the floor, a math book sitting on the floor beside it next to a few pens. So that’s what he tripped on when he came in.
“Oh, man. I’m sorry, doll. We can work on it first thing in the morning, swear.” Peter promised, giving into what you wanted and sliding in bed next to you, wasting no time in wrapping you in his arms. 
“It’s due tomorrow, and I have to leave early for that dumb field trip.” You mumbled into his shoulder, not meaning to but making Peter feel all the worse for forgetting as he softly smoothed his hand up and down your back.
~
By the time Peter woke up the next morning you had already left, leaving behind a note on his desk.
”don’t think too hard about that test, I’ll just ask if I can have extended time on it. I’m just happy you got home safe” 
The little hearts surrounding your name at the bottom and the emphasis on him getting back at all seemed to have the opposite effect on Peter than you had intended. 
As now, he just seemed more determined to fix this problem he had made.
~
You laughed as your friend lifted her arms into the air, taking in a big deep breath as you both finally got off the bus, “freedom!” she exclaimed. 
“We have that test in like 30 minutes” You reminded her with a smile, earning a glare in response. “Buzzkill”
You chuckled this time, before watching her lift her finger and point behind you, turning as you followed where she was pointing, “that’s geek charming, what’s he doin’ here?” she asked quietly, expecting you to have an answer as you watched your boyfriend hurry over to you, green folder in his hand. 
“No clue, I’ll meet you inside” You smiled at her, watching her nod and smile back in response, walking backward towards the school while she obnoxiously waves and says “Hi, Peter!” 
Peter waved back, finally in front of you as he turned his gaze to see you already looking at him, with a soft smile. 
“Hey,” Peter matched your smile, holding out the folder to you before you could respond. “For your test, you forgot your math stuff in my room, so” 
You smiled, taking it gratefully, “Thanks, Petey. Although I don’t know how much help it’ll be-” Peter cut you off, “I mapped out in your notebook exactly how you can find any answers for the test and explained it in notes how I knew you’d be able to understand” You looked at him in awe as he rambled, watching as he took off his backpack and fumbled with it before pulling out your math notebook and handing it to you. “Peter-” “I almost wish I could take the test for you, I’ve just had so much to do lately as you know who and that’s no excuse for ditching my best girl when she needed my help so I figured this was the least I could do” Peter continued, taking a breath once he had finished. 
You set the folder and notebook down on the grass, pulling Peter into a tight embrace. “This is nice” he mumbled into your shoulder, squeezing your waist ever so slightly. “I love you, Peter Parker” You mumbled back, pulling back just enough to set a soft kiss to his lips. 
“I love you more, now go pass your test and make me proud, you can do that, can’t you, sweetheart?” Peter smiled at you, chuckling as you placed one, two, three more kisses on his mouth before pulling away and grabbing your stuff. 
“When I pass, you’re buying me dinner, baby!” You said, beginning to walk away.
“Whatever you want, doll!”
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readychilledwine · 5 months
Text
Heavy
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Summary - Being a mother is so much harder than you expected, especially when Cassian is gone
Warnings - motherhood, signs of postpartum
A/N- I needed therapy, and this happened. To all my readers who are moms, readers who want to become moms, or dedicated aunts who are bonus moms: you are all amazing, strong, and valued.
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You closed your eyes as your daughter cried out for the fifth time tonight. 
She had just fallen asleep. She was warm, content, fed, clean diaper. You didn't know what you were doing wrong, but when she wasn't on your chest, her small wails would break the silence of the House of Wind. You sat up, picking her up to try to stop the crying and sat against the headboard. 
Cassian had been gone for the past 4 days in Windhaven. He had, begrudgingly, agreed to go with Rhys and Azriel. Each item he packed was slammed into his bag haphazardly before he finally realized his anger was keeping your daughter awake, her little wings fluttering with each loud noise. He had slept with her skin to skin the whole night. He refused to allow anyone else to hold his girl before he left in the morning. 
And Gods her cries when she realized daddy wasn't there, that daddy wasn't going to cuddle after feedings with mommy that day, they shattered you. 
She loved her daddy. She loved you. She wanted you both at all times.
But daddy had to work, you would whisper before crying too. 
Tonight had been your last straw. You didn't remember the last time you bathed and changed clothing, the last time you slept for more than 30 to 45 minutes at a time.
The tears came before you could stop them. Cassian's absence had taken a huge toll on your mental health as you constantly had your newborn attached to your breasts, in your arms sleeping on you, crying for you if you so much as left the room to go to the bathroom.
You leaned your head back crying with her little sniffles, “I know, babygirl. I miss daddy too.” 
Cassian glared at Rhys as your stress and emotion stuck him. You had grown so exhausted that keeping the bond locked tight was no longer an option. "She's fine, Cassian. She's a great mom," Rhys said softly. "I wouldn't have pulled you away if she couldn't handle it."
Azriel made a face, having stayed the past week with you and Cassian at the house to be an extra hand. "She's an amazing mother, Rhys, but Sulwyn is a daddy's girl," Azriel leaned against the wall in the cabin. "This is probably overwhelming for all three of them. It's only be 4 weeks."
Cassia was about to respond, thanking Azriel for understanding, but you sent him one last wave before you realized the bond was open. It was that last emotion that hit him that had him standing without warning and taking off. 
That he had never felt from you before. That feeling of completely worthlessness, of self doubt, of complete self loathing. 
He pushed himself, straining each sore muscle before landing hard on your shared balcony in record time. 
And the sight inside broke his heart. 
Your daughter crying on your chest, and you with her, telling her you didn't know what else to try, what was wrong.
“Give her to me,” he said softly. “Give me our daughter. Go bathe. Do something for you.” You shook your head, holding her tighter. “y/n, give me our baby. You need a break, sweetheart. I can feel it. I can feel you falling apart. I can feel the pit forming. Let me take care of you two.”
“But Rhys-”
“Can fuck all the way off. My wife isn't okay. You need to give me Sulwyn and take a break.” You moved slowly, handing Cassian the tiny Illyrian female who instantly calmed in his arms. His face softened immediately, heart warming. “I missed you too, baby.” 
He felt the moment that shattered you too. Another heavy emotion hitting the bond. 
You sat curled up in the tub for what felt like hours. It was long enough Cassian had put Sul down and now sat next to you.
“Tell what’s going through your head,” he pushed wet hair behind your pointed ear. “Talk to me, sweetness.”
“I feel worthless. Like I've lost my sense of who I am and all value I held to the court.” You paused, wiping a few stray tears. “I feel like a burden to you, her, and now our family.”
That one struck Cassian straight in his heart. “You could never be a burden.”
“I can't even calm our daughter to sleep,” you broke again, voice shaking as you began to sob. “All I am her is her personal food slave. No one said it would be this hard.”
“I know, y/n.” Cassian sighed deeply. “We need to get you out of the House,” Cassian tilted your head to him, kissing your forehead lightly. “Madja warned us about this, remember? She warned us that you potentially would start to feel really down. Everything you are feeling is normal, even if it's so far from true.”
Cassian kissed your lips gently. “I need you to listen to me and hear me right now, okay? You are not a burden. You are not worthless. You are not her personal feeding dummy. You are her mother. Her  best friend. Her safe place.” Cassian paused, wiping your tears. “You are my wife. My mate. You are the strongest female I know. You birthed an Illyrian with the wrong anatomy and somehow survived. You're caring for a newborn the size of your torso, and you do it with a smile and without voicing these feelings. She and I would be lost without you.”
He paused again, a small squeak being heard from the bedroom before silence fell back over. “You are her favorite person. She lights up at just the sound of your voice. I have to cuddle her under your blanket. Yes, she was upset and missed me, and Gods I missed her, but you are her world. And you both are mine, and it is killing me to see you like this.”
Another small squeak came. “She's hungry,” you whispered. 
“Would a shitty mom know that just from the noise she's making?” You shook your head, allowing him to help you stand And wrap you in a warm towel. “I'll hold you two while she eats, so you can fall asleep if you want?” 
It was such a little gesture. One of his small smiles gracing his face as he carried you back into your shared room. 
Cassian dressed you gently kissing your fingers, your palms, your cheekbones. He laid in the bed with you two motioning for you to come between his legs and holding Sulwyn to you. 
“Tomorrow mama is going to leave for awhile, Sul. You, daddy, and Auntie Nesta will hang out while Uncle Az takes mom to the Cafe they like to go to so they can discuss the latest in gross spy shit-” Cassian froze behind you. “Stuff.”
He smiled looking down and realizing you had fallen asleep in his arms. “You, little baby,” he looked at Sulwyn, “Are beyond loved. We need to make sure mama feels that way too, okay? Daddy is going to tell Uncle Rhys to shove it tomorrow. Then we're going to work on spoiling mommy.”
Your daughter gave Cassian a small smile, looking up at him with bright doe eyes as she continued eating. “That's my girl.”
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yuna542 · 3 months
Text
Connected (OT8 x reader)
Part 23<-
Part 24
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Pairing: (Channie at the beginning) Hyunjin & Lee Know x Reader
Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst
Warnings: 18+, Smut, Under 18 DNI! Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Threesome, Blackmailing, Petnames, explicit sexual content, deepthroating, oral (f + m receiving), public sex
Word Count: 9.2k
Note: Guess who‘s back for now. My life changed a lot during the last months and sadly I don’t have that much tine for writing anymore, even though I really want to. But somehow I managed to write another Part! Thank you to everyone who‘s still reading this story. Lmk what you think in the comments. Stay tuned 💛
On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager.
Will this passionate arrangement end your career?
.
When you woke up on the black couch in the backstage area, you firstly stretched to drive the tiredness from your limbs with an audible groan.
"Welcome back," you heard Changbin say and only then did you realize that your head had been resting on his lap. He stroked your hair out of your face with a smile as you pulled the blanket, which smelled familiar like home, towards you.
"How long have I been asleep?" you asked, trying to clear your head again. But tiredness kept pulling you back into a stupor, so you cuddled back into his lap.
Changbin leaned back and suddenly you saw the whole staff already walking around in the backstage. Stylists, stage technicians and make-up artists. They were all scurrying around Jeongin, Hyunjin and Felix who were were made up. Seungmin was being wired up and Han was discussing something with the sound technician.
"You were gone for almost three hours."
Stunned, you straightened up. The blanket, which you now recognized as Chan's hoodie, fell off your shoulders.
"Where's Chan?" you asked directly.
After rehearsals, you had laid down on the couch together and fallen asleep in a tight embrace. Every member of staff who had passed by had seen you bury your face against his chest and him wrapping his arms tightly around your body. Finally, Felix had carefully woken Chan up because he had to start putting on his outfit. Completely baffled, you stared at your cell phone, which showed that the concert was only 30 minutes away.
"You needed the sleep. We didn't want to wake you up," Changbin said and winked at you.
Chan finally came back into the room. He was wearing his stage outfit and it looked incredibly good. The white top was cut out at the side so that you could see his toned stomach. When he saw that you were awake, he smiled and waved as he was already being shooed towards the mirrors.
When you saw who started doing his hair there, you bit your tongue hard. Mina talked to him animatedly, taking more time than necessary as she applied hairspray to his hair, but Chan seemed distant. He replied in monosyllables, his smile polite but professional. It was strange and you couldn't stop looking in his direction as you worked through your messages on your iPad.
Finally, you rolled your eyes as she leaned forward emphatically so Chan could barely see anywhere else but the exaggerated neckline of her dress. She clung to him like a far too pink piece of chewing gum and although Chan had made it clear to you last night that he only wanted you, it stung your chest. When Chan saw your look in the mirror, he cleared his throat and held the blonde's wrist as she tried to apply a pinkish color to his lips.
"I think Lee Know and Han need your help"
Confused, she looked to the other side of the room where Jisung almost poked his eye out with the kayal as Lino kept shoving him and laughing at him.
"But I'm not finished with your..."
"That's all right. Y/N can finish it. Right?" he asked over his shoulder and when your eyes met, you realized how uncomfortable Chan was. You nodded quickly and stood up to go to him. Mina's face turned as red as a tomato as she stared at you and as she looked at Chan and the smile he gave you, she put her make-up down on the table in front of the mirror.
"Sure. I can do it."
Chan's eyes lit up at the sound of your voice and when Mina nodded and mumbled a meek "Alright...", you had to suppress a triumphant grin.
While she was still putting her things away, you picked up the brush and leaned over to Chan to pick up where Mina had left off. But Chan put a hand on your hip and, to your surprise, pulled you onto his lap in front of Mina, leaving you staring at him wide-eyed.
"It's more comfortable this way," he dismissed, his hands firmly on your hips as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Mina's nostrils quivered and she looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment.
Chan had made it abundantly clear what he wanted, without saying a word. She hurried away and when she was out of earshot, you whispered:
"What are you doing? Everyone can see us!"
Chan leaned back, circled his thumbs over your thighs and closed his eyes, relaxed.
"So what? The staff know we're good friends.“
Stunned, you grinned and began to spread the colour on his lips.
"Friends...", you murmured with a cheeky smile.
In fact, most of the staff were unimpressed. Only some of them gave you furtive glances, but they were so busy that hardly anyone looked at you for more than a few seconds. While you concentrated on his make-up, Chan enjoyed your body against his and slipped his thumbs under the skirt of your dress. You gave him a warning glance, but he didn't seem to care in the slightest that there were other strangers in the room.
Although you were still sore in all the right places from last night, you were automatically filled with desire when you felt his strong hands firmly on your bare skin. Chan also became more restless, trying to get a little more under your dress, pinching your thighs and looking at you hungrily, as if he wanted to eat you up at any moment.
"I want you..."
"What?" you asked, unable to believe how brazen Chan was. He had thrown all caution overboard.
"I want to fuck you. Now..." he whispered in your ear and his lips brushed against your neck. Panting, you looked around, but no one in the room was paying any attention to you.
"Channie..." you hissed, barely able to push him away as he began to kiss your neck. Your hands tightened around the powder and brush in your hands. His hands traveled up your sides until they brushed your breasts.
"Channie... We're not alone."
"I don't care. I want everyone to know. They can't tell anyone else anyway."
That was true. All the staff had signed a NDA that protected the idols' privacy. They were not allowed to talk about anything that happened backstage or what they saw. It was to protect the idols and make them feel comfortable and relaxed, even if there were staff scurrying around. Overwhelmed, you tried to control your breathing and the heat in your veins as Chan continued to lavish feather-light kisses on your neck. He was wild, demanding and it took your breath away.
"You have to go on stage in a minute," you whispered, barely able to pay attention to whether anyone was watching you.
"It won't take long... Let's get out of here quickly..."
You really wanted to say yes, but reason made you hesitate. And with one look into his blazing eyes, your resistance collapsed. He also looked outrageously handsome in his stage outfit, in your defence.
But then the door suddenly opened and Felix jumped up from the couch as a group of people came into the room.
Panicked, you jumped off Chan's lap as his and Felix's family suddenly stood in the middle of the room. Hannah immediately grinned as she saw you trying to straighten your dress. Felix, meanwhile, was hugging his parents and sister, while Chan strolled casually to his parents and then hugged them too.
You grabbed your neck uneasily and it felt like his parents could only guess what you had done with a glance. But when you finally bowed, Chan's mother grabbed your arms instead and pulled you into a tight hug.
"It's so good to see you again, darling. You left so early this morning," she said and you hesitantly returned the hug.
"Yes, we had a lot to do," you smiled nervously and Mr Bang gave you a curt nod.
You chatted for a while and Chan put his hand on your lower back, which no one seemed to question. It was nice to see his family and Felix's parents were just as friendly as their son was.
Chan accompanied his parents to the staff who took them to their seats and Felix took advantage of this to take your hand and introduce you to his family.
But you didn't have much time left and shortly afterwards the Lee family were also taken to their seats.
Felix squeezed your hands and looked excited and yet the Aussies seemed more stressed today than ever before.
.
It was only two days later when you sank to the floor, panting, and looked up questioningly at Lee Know and Hyunjin. Hyunjin looked at the screen of his cell phone, Minho next to him, and they both watched what felt like the hundredth video you had shot today. Hours ago, you had already begun to regret accepting Hyunjin's offer to help you with your first dance cover. You finally had the time and energy to pursue your own passion and the dance leader and main dancer of Stray Kids immediately offered to help.
You started to work out a choreography together and recorded it directly on video in the dance studio.
However, the boys were perfectionists and worked in the professional manner in which they produced their own videos. Finally, after several attempts and recordings, after tons of sweat and pain, Hyunjin finally nodded and Lino also smiled with satisfaction while the last recording was playing on his cell phone.
"It turned out perfectly," said Hyunjin.
"The performance turned out hot and strong. That suits you well. You’re moving so smooth…“
You smiled with relief and drank the last of your water bottle. While your legs trembled with exertion, the dancers looked like they were on their way to a photo shoot for a sports magazine. Hyunjin's tank top was washed out, revealing sections of his well-trained upper body. Lee Know wore a black shirt that was so tight around his chest and upper arms that you could see every contraction of his muscles. Glancing at the clock, you sighed loudly. You had arrived at the gym at 12 noon and now it was 9pm. A normal day for the idols, but not at all for you. But it had been fun. Despite everything, they had been gentler and more affectionate with you than you were used to from them during practice.
"I love seeing you dance," Lino said, while focused on the recording, moving slightly to the music and it sounded sincere. Your heart skipped a beat and you smiled. Such a compliment from one of the best dancers in the industry was amazing.
"So that's why you put me in this dance studio all day?" you asked with amusement.
"I can barely feel my legs," you sighed and tried to push yourself off the floor and stand up again.
Before you could really stand upright, you suddenly felt Lino's strong arms wrapped around your stomach and you lifted off the ground. Giggling, you let yourself be carried to the couch where he let himself fall backwards so that you landed between his legs.
"You did a really great job... you really have idol potential," he said and began to massage your tense shoulders behind you. You immediately gasped out loud and leaned against his touch. He was damn skillful with his hands and a fire immediately ignited where he touched your bare skin.
"No, I'm nowhere near that far... You do this every day and I can't move after just a few hours..." you laughed softly and a whimper escaped you as he worked on a tense muscle.
This made Hyunjin look up and put the cell phone back down on the tripod. With a grin, he joined you and sat down on the floor between your legs, where he cupped your trembling thigh with his hands. You inhaled a rattling breath. Lee Know's hands massaging your back, his body heat right next to yours and now Hyunjin starting to massage your aching legs.
"You're already better than any of us at this social media thing... Your Insta account is growing every day," Hyunjin agreed, focusing on your trembling muscles.
"Well it's actually fun... I've even had a few requests... Ouch!" you gasped when Hyunjin caught a sensitive spot.
"That's normal. It'll get better soon. We'll take care of it..." he said, and the way he smiled at you made your heart skip a beat. Hyunjin's long fingers worked over every millimeter of your bare legs and you could hardly think straight.
"I like the shorts on you... Everyone will go crazy for you when they see the video," Hyunjin said and you let out a gasp as Lino pushed the straps of your sports bra off your shoulders to get better access to your back. His fingers worked wonders and apart from the muscle tension they released, heat began to ripple through your body and a familiar throbbing sensation was felt between your legs.
Lino growled softly and his fingers worked their way to your ribs.
"You're going to get tons of thirsty messages... I'm already finding it hard to hold back watching you... And that outfit..."
You sucked in a sharp breath as his hands traveled down your sides and squeezed your hips. You were only wearing a normal sports bra and black shorts. Something loose and you liked the way the shorts showed off your long legs. But what you liked even more were the looks from the boys who had been glancing at you intently all day. Even though they tried to hide it, to be respectful and not intrusive, you couldn't help but notice Hyunjin's intense stares, as well as Lee Know's suggestive comments and smirks when he gave you a hand, touched your hips or stroked your butt. But it didn't feel intrusive at all when they looked at you like that. Quite the opposite. They also looked at you like that when you were sweaty, without make-up or wearing oversized hoodies and sweatpants. You still didn't know why or what they saw in you, but it felt good to be desired.
Hyunjin kneaded your calves and the further he worked his way forward, the more restless you became.
But you closed your eyes and tried to relax and endure the intense touch of the two most attractive men you had ever met without paying any attention to the heat between your legs.
"Is that ok?" Hyunjin asked softly and when you opened your eyes and looked into his chocolate eyes, you were speechless. Part of his black hair was tied back at the back of his head, while the rest framed his face. His head between your legs, his hands firmly on your thighs, made you nod breathlessly. He was breathtakingly beautiful.
"What? I can't hear you kitten!" whispered Lee Know, his hot breath brushing your neck.
"Yes! Yes that's good... Feels good."
Satisfied, he grinned and before you could realize it, you felt his lips against your shoulder. He began to spread feather-light kisses over your heated skin and you feared you would faint when you saw Hyunjin looking at your body like that. Greedily, as if he had to restrain himself from pulling you towards him immediately.
"Lino..." you breathlessly escaped as he moved a hand to your throat and you automatically tilted your head back to give him more room. He sucked on every sensitive spot, sinking his teeth into your neck until you fell against his chest and your eyelids fluttered with arousal.
Hyunjin's fingers kept moving upwards until they were working your legs just a hand's width from your now wet core.
You were so turned on that you could hardly think straight.
Another whimper escaped you as the two exchanged a meaningful look, full of hunger, and Lino began to knead your breasts through the thin fabric of your bra. "Lino... Please..." you barely managed to utter, your head already in the clouds and you couldn't believe how much your body was responding to them.
Lee Know's big hands squeezed your breasts and you could feel his grin against your neck as he elicited more and more of those desperate noises.
"We're just taking care of you... It's all good. That's what good dance teachers do," Hyunjin murmured, lightly pinching your inner thigh, eliciting a sensual sound very similar to a moan. You gasped loudly as Lee Know gripped the flesh of your breasts tightly, while you were trying to squeeze your legs together so Hyunjin wouldn't notice how wet you already were.
Your panties and shorts were probably already soaked but he reacted faster, grabbing your knees and holding them further apart.
"You don't have to hide from me, princess," he cooed and his hands were right back at your core, massaging just a little next to where you wanted to feel him. Your mind tried to remind you where you were and what you were doing here.
"We're at work... If anyone comes in," you tried, sighing between them as Lee Know kissed your jawline.
"There's no one here this late except us... and even if there was..." he muttered and gave Hyunjin a meaningful grin, which he returned.
You tried to straighten up a bit, ignoring the large hands all over your body, and felt Lino's long, hard length pressed against your back.
"You want to get caught, don't you? Is that why you wanted to help? Did you plan this?" you asked, your voice thin and breathless.
Hyunjin smirked, pressed a kiss to your inner thigh and looked up at you innocently.
"We just wanted to help you... You're just too much of a temptation..."
Lee Know's hand moved to your hip and he rubbed his center lightly against yours so that all you could think about was his massive dick pressed against your ass.
"You've been paying a lot more attention to Chan and the younger ones lately.... We want some time with you too, angel."
Lino nodded and brushed his soft lips up your neck. You could only watch, overwhelmed, and felt Lee Know slip his hand under your sports bra.
For a moment, a clear thought made it through the fog of desire and you pushed Hyunjin quite a bit away from you. With his head between your legs, his lips on your skin, you couldn't form a clear sentence.
He looked at you questioningly.
"Is that the only reason you wanted to make the video today?" you asked, looking at him scrutinizingly. His mouth opened, a damned seductive red appeared on his cheeks and he didn't even have to try to lie.
You could already read the answer in his uncertain smile.
"Jinnie... You planned this with Lee Know?"
He cleared his throat while Minho just snorted.
"No way. I didn't know anything about it."
Hyunjin stroked both hands up your thighs, and his apologetic smirk immediately wrapped you around his finger. Still, you tried to look serious. He could do whatever he wanted with that face, those hands. He could have called you an object and even with the full knowledge that he would throw you away like garbage when he had what he wanted, you would give him all he wanted and more and still thank him afterwards.
But your pride made you hide your thoughts.
"I wanted to help you, really! But you don't know what you're doing to me. When you dance... I can't think straight," he murmured, his voice raspy as he looked at your body.
It wasn't fair what power he had over you.
"Our little Jinnie is pretty desperate, huh?" Minho asked with amusement as he rested his chin on your shoulder and listened.
"Are you mad?" Hyunjin asked, looking so worried that you had to put on a serious face with all your might. His hair framed his face and you could hardly think of a word other than artwork to describe it.
You looked down at him, put your foot on his shoulder and pushed him away from you. If you didn't get an Oscar for that performance, you didn't know what real acting was.
"So you're just using me... Maybe as punishment I should just let you watch while Minho and I have fun."
The panic that entered his eyes was surprisingly refreshing.
Immediately, he inhaled in panic.
"- Please, please angel... I swear, I'm so sorry... Please, I need you..." he begged, still on his knees, your lips trembling with excitement. You could hardly hide how hot you thought Hyunjin was. Begging, desperate for your body.
The man who was so beautiful that he could lure any woman or man into his bed was begging for your attention. Minho watched the whole thing with a wry grin.
He loved your submissive nature, but this was interesting too.
"Just apologizing to get in my pants, as usual. If you're good..."
You took your foot off his chest and he immediately slid back between your legs, kissing your inner thighs, caressing them and you let out a soft sigh as the arousal threatened to suffocate you. By now you knew how much he loved your thighs and legs. He was crazy about it. His thoughts were constantly revolving around how you sqished him with your thighs, he won't mind. Heck, he wants you to do that so bad.
He's always poking them or patting them. He loves when you wear thigh high socks so he can see the material squeeze against your skin. He likes to nip and suck bruises on them, almost as if marking you as his. He can't help slapping them or holding on tight all the time.
"If you don't want to, we'll stop right now..." Lino whispered in your ear and his warm fingers dug roughly into your bare chest, causing you to shake your head in panic. Hyunjin suddenly touched your cunt with his fingers and you almost moaned out loud, but he looked at you questioningly, only then did you realize that they were waiting for an answer from you. They wanted reassurance that this was what you really wanted.
"Don't stop! Please...", you said and they both exchanged a satisfied look. Then Lino unclasped your bra and it fell carelessly to the floor.
Your gaze briefly fell on your reflection in the mirror, you half-naked between Lee Know's strong thighs, Hyunjin between your legs. You thought you were dreaming. There was no other explanation. Then your eyes met Lino's in the mirror and the lust in his eyes made you tremble. Hyunjin, on the other hand, began to massage your clit through the fabric with two fingers and a moan escaped you immediately, causing Lino to freeze behind you.
The faster Hyunjin's fingers went, the more you lost touch with reality.
"She's so wet, hyung... Even through the shorts..." Hyunjin said, and you wanted to tear the last bit of fabric from your body so that he could finally stuff you with his long fingers.
"Fuck... You're crazy..." you gasped, rolling your hips willingly against Hyunjin's hand.
"Let me take these off," he mumbled and Lino immediately helped him by lifting you up by your hips. He pulled your shorts and red panties right off and threw them to the side. You immediately got goose bumps. You could see your reflection in the mirror. Completely naked, between the two clothed men, exposed and defenceless. Nevertheless, you felt at ease and when Hyunjin looked at you as if he had found a new painting in an exhibition that inspired him, your heart almost jumped out of your chest. You would never get used to them looking at you like that. "cmon princess," he says, looking at you from below, eyes sparkling with the delight of seeing you in such a position - breasts bared, eyes blurry, mind dizzy, eyes avoiding to meet with his dark ones that gave you weakness on the knees because of how beautiful he's looking at you right now.
Hyunjin's fingers were between your legs again as you watched him, running through your folds and collecting the wetness. Lino watched, kissing your neck and holding your breasts as if he never wanted to let them go.
"Oh God!"
You gasped as Hyunjin's tongue suddenly pressed against your clit.
"He's not going to help you now," Lee Know whispered in your ear and a wicked grin spread across his face. He could feel every twitch and excitement of your body. The sight of his younger member engrossed between your legs aroused him like he had never imagined. Chan had often talked about how he liked the idea of sharing you between them, but he hadn't expected to like it that much himself. Your eyes rolled back and while Hyunjin started to eat you out, as if he was about to starve to death, Lee Know put a hand on your neck and slowly squeezed, tearing you away from reality. Then you heard him say:
"Look at him... Barely responsive, addicted to your pussy. You know, Jinnie's been talking for days about how much he'd love to choke between your legs."
You instantly felt hot and when Hyunjin raised his eyes and gave Minho a warning look, your arousal shone on his plush lips.
"Hyung!" he warned and it was obvious that Minho was having a lot of fun spilling his dirty secrets.
"Really?" you asked, a little surprised.
So they were talking about you and the sex with you after all. That made your cheeks glow and you immediately wanted to know more about the secret fantasies they seemed to have about you, but you didn't dare.
Minho kissed your neck, running his hands over your stomach and smirked as he looked at Hyunjin.
"Yeah... He gets off with the thought of you sitting on his face."
"Hyung, what the hell!"
Hyunjin's face got more red every second, just like yours, and he looked caught, but you just looked at him curiously.
"Is that true?" you asked cautiously and he gripped your thigh a little tighter.
"I was thinking about it, yes..."
From the way he bit his lip, looked at you furtively and the way Minho giggled, you knew he wasn't just thinking about it.
Without further ado, you stood up and were watched by both of them as you pushed Hyunjin by the shoulder onto the floor. The idea of his face between your thighs gave you a pleasant shiver.
He let you push him onto his back until you were kneeling over him. He watched in disbelief as you placed your knees to the right and left of his head, your cunt right in front of his face and he thought he had landed in heaven.
"Are you sure?" you asked, but he just chuckled, kissing your inner thighs, looking at your face still in a way that could make you cum without even fucking his mouth. You didn’t want to hurt him because you knew how much you wanted to do it - how much you would break and use his mouth without thinking about anything else.
"You'd better thank me, Jinnie..." said Lino, who was sitting on the couch and watching everything closely.
There was now a tent in his sweatpants and he kept running his hand over it as he watched you.
"Is that okay?" you asked as you looked down at him. He looked beautiful, gazing up at you with his chocolate eyes. He could hardly get enough of the sight of you.
"Please yes!"
He grabbed your thighs and pulled you down onto his face. Even as you tried to brace yourself a little so as not to weigh him down, he pushed you down harder until your entire weight was resting on him.
As his tongue greedily licked right through your folds, you let out a pornographic moan that made Minho clench his teeth. Hyunjin began to eat you out and seemed even greedier than before. Your whole body tingled as Hyunjin continued to penetrate your hole with his tongue. You wouldn't last long, that was obvious.
His hands dug into the flesh of your thighs and pressed you vehemently against his face.
The knot in your stomach was about to burst and as he sucked on your clit, you reached into his hair to grind your pussy against his face. As your body took on a life of its own and as you rolled your hips against his face, Minho let out a gasp from the couch.
"Fuck... Better than any porn..."
Hyunjin immediately let out a deep grumble and began to palm his rock-hard cock through his sweatpants.
Being watched by Lino was a whole new experience but you liked it. It made your blood boil and Hyunjin was sure, he would loose his mind soon. Your smell, the taste on his tongue, the way your body felt under his fingers and the desperate noises that echoed in the dance studio were beguiling for him. Your hands on his hair to pull and hold to stay still as you beg for more - close to the edge yet your face is full of heat.
"Fuck... fuck... Jinnie please I can't..." you blubbered incoherently and as your head fell back and you squinted, you suddenly felt a hand on your neck squeezing hard, turning your head so that you had to look up at Minho, who had gotten up and was now standing next to you, his pants pulled down and his cock heavy in his hand. He palmed himself and his eyes burned with lust.
"Don't you dare close your eyes! Don't look at him. Look at me, kitten! I want to see you come on Jinnie's face, do you understand?"
Breathless and with trembling eyelids, you nodded. The eye contact with Minho was intense and made you climax even faster. It was as if he could see everything. Your deepest secrets and you pulled on Hyunjin's hair as he licked deeper and deeper into your core.
"Min... I... I can't take it anymore..." you whimpered, hearing only the wet sounds of Hyunjin hitting the perfect spot with his tongue every time, feeling his fingernails in your thighs and your whole body seemed about to explode as you rode his face.
Minho tilted his head a little, looked at you closely and you could clearly see how horny he was. His tip was red, his hand was constantly sliding up and down his shaft.
"It's all right. You can come. Cream his face, kitten."
With those words, the knot in your stomach snapped and the orgasm exploded all the way to your fingertips. You moaned a mixture of the two dancers' names and Hyunjin gasped as you came all over his face. He continued to suck on your clit until you saw stars and your high was savored to the extreme. Only then did Minho let go of your neck. With rattling breaths, you tried to calm yourself down, barely able to form a word.
But Hyunjin did not stop. He immediately penetrated you again with his tongue. As if addicted and without control, he pressed you further against his face, playing with your overstimulated pussy until you whimpered and grinded against his face again. It felt too good to stop, even though your legs were already shaking.
"Open up for me, kitten!"
Everything was a blur and when you felt Minho's tip on your lip, you didn't hesitate and opened your mouth immediately. He slid his entire length into your mouth and your pink lips wrapped around his shaft, making him curse.
"So pretty... So good for us. Our little whore. Suck my dick slut!", he gasped, caught up in the frenzy of arousal and passion. You immediately started to move your head and took him so deep that he bumped into your throat and you gagged.
Then he grabbed your hair and began to thrust into your mouth incessantly while Hyunjin continued to work your pussy. You didn't know where you were anymore and your body was burning like fire, but you never wanted to feel anything else again.
Minho kept cursing as he ruthlessly abused your face and fucked your throat, and Hyunjin didn't stop until the tears ran down your cheeks and you clung to Minho's legs, overwhelmed. The sounds they tickled out of you were unholy, sinful, beautiful.
But both of them also felt the next orgasm before you realized it. Hyunjin's nose bumped against your clit and just as your body tensed, Minho pulled you off his dick and held your head by the hair so you could look him straight in the eye again. Thighs trembled around his head as he pulled another cry from you with his greedy tongue. The sight was enough to make you cum hard on his tongue, squirting all over his face.
Hyunjin licked up everything he could. He tried to catch every last drop of your sweet release, but some managed to drip down his chin and cheeks as he swallowed what fell into his mouth. He gave your pussy a few gentle licks before he let you go.
"Holy shit..." was the only thing you could say as you sank to the floor next to Hyunjin.
"Was that good, Princess?" asked Hyunjin, wiping his face clean with his tank top. You just nodded, looking at him stunned, and grabbed his face to pull him towards you, pressing your lips to his chaotically. You could still taste yourself on him and he immediately pulled you closer by the hips to return the kiss stormily.
"I'm getting impatient..." Minho said and knelt down next to you while you two made out like teenagers in heat. With wide eyes, you looked at him and then at his massive length in his hand. Your body reacted immediately and your pussy pulsated excitedly.
He leaned towards you, grabbed your face, kissed you, slipped his tongue into your mouth and grabbed your ass, which he kneaded hard before his other hand moved between your legs and penetrated you with a finger up to his knuckles. You moaned into his mouth and your tongues played rough with each other. Hyunjin grabbed your breasts, twirling your nipple between his fingers and sucking on your neck as he grinded his hard length against your ass. being squeezed between the two of them, in the middle of the dance studio, was overwhelming. You moaned Minho's name softly as he curled his finger inside you.
"I need this pussy wrapped so tight around my cock-" He groaned thinking of the sensation of your dripping cunt, milking his cock. When Minho briefly detached himself from you and pressed his forehead against yours, he said:
"Turn around!. Now!"
Your heart immediately started beating louder and you turned around to look Hyunjin in the eye again. Then Minho impatiently pushed you onto all fours and you could already feel his tip at your entrance.
Hyunjin knelt in front of you and pulled down his pants to massage his dick. He could barely stand it. He was so hard it hurt and there was already a wet spot on his pants from his precum.
Minho looked at you intensely, your ass in the air and he was sure he would never get enough. He loved your soft curves, spanked you a few times, which made you whimper loudly. He loved making your ass perk up as he railed you. He spanked you a few times until your ass was red then gently rubbed it to soothe you.
You only became painfully aware of how impatient he really was when he thrusted into you from behind without warning. The ticked-off scream that escaped you died in your throat as he grabbed your hips with both hands and, after pulling out, thrusted hard again so that the slapping of skin on skin echoed through the studio. You starred as he began to take you hard from behind and the whimpers and moans only spurred him on. Hyunjin grumbled, overwhelmed. The sight was unbelievable. You desperate, your body between them, completely defenceless and Lino watched as he sank faster and faster deep inside you. "f-fuck, Lino. your dick feels so good inside of me," you managed to speak, despite your stuttering from his hard thrusts. "yeah? you like that?" He responded to you before grabbing a fist full of your hair and tugging on it, causing your neck to snap back a little as he continued to fuck you, making you look directly at Hyunjin.
"Look at him! Show him how good I fuck you."
"Fuck... too big... Lino," you bubbled in between as he threatened to tear you apart. Meanwhile, Hyunjin fucked his hand and knelt right in front of you.
"Come on, be good and help Jinnie a little," Lee Know growled, gripping your hair tighter and pushing your head towards Hyunjin's throbbing dick. You immediately opened your mouth so he could slide between your lips and the moans Hyunjin let out were mesmerizing. With each thrust, he pushed you harder onto his dick until he was thrusting deep into your throat with every movement from Minho. You squinted your eyes as tears ran down your cheeks and Hyunjin's gasps and moans were accompanied by the naughty sounds of your wet pussy being abused by Lee Know as he sank harder into you with each hip thrust and your entire body seemed to burn. "Such a naughty little slut. Letting us fuck your holes at work..." Hyunjin gasped, rolling his hips against your face and enjoying the gurgling sound. One hand landed in your hair where he guided your head along his shaft. Lee Know gripped your ass so tightly that his fingerprints would be visible for days.
"You love it that rough, don't you? Getting fucked until you cry," Lino growled, and your body went wild, tensed with arousal as he hit just the right spots with his massive dick deep inside you. Hyunjin couldn't stop staring at your reflection in the mirror, where he saw everything clearly. How Lino fucked into your sore pussy, how you took his own dick deep until it hit your throat and how your breasts jiggled with every thrust. "Fuck you are our little slut. Letting us use your body..."
Your mouth around his dick, the desperate sounds and the sight of Lee Know thrusting into you without mercy did the rest for Hyunjin and you could feel how much the sight turned him on. Your butt cheeks slamming against Lino's thighs, balls hitting your clit from behind and his hands tangled in your hair as he came with a loud gasp and spurted his load into your mouth, trying to burn the sight into his memory forever. You greedily swallowed it all and sucked on his tip until nothing came out. He pulled his dick out of your mouth and pulled up his sweatpants, panting. Overwhelmed, he stroked your cheek with his thumb. There was sweat glistening on his face and through the mirror you saw that there was also sweat on Lino's forehead. They hadn't even been this exhausted when dancing.
Minho's thrusts were starting to become sloppy, indicating that he was coming close to his high. you could feel his cock start to pulsate inside of you as your walls tightened around him even more. "Lino, I'm so close. oh my god, don't stop. Your dick is so big. Fuck me harder.", it escaped you and those words were already enough to make Lino cum right then and there. he'd bruise your ass with slaps and squeezes, marking your waist as he tugs you to meet his ruthless thrusts. you loved when they would use you for their own pleasure. Abusing your pussy like their own personal fuck toy. Just the thought made you pussy clench harder around his dick.
"Is that all?" you moaned provocatively as you felt how much he enjoyed dominating you and how close he was to cumming. Lino just laughed throatily and Hyunjin grinned, knowing that you were conjuring up a demon. "Keep being a brat, I'll fuck you senseless." He growled back, annoyed with your teasing behavior and giving a harsh slap to your ass. But that's exactly what you wanted. He fucked you even harder and cupped your neck from behind with his big hand. Without hesitation, he pressed your face to the floor so that he had complete control over your body. You feared losing consciousness as he thrust into you so deep and hard that you could feel him in every bone.
With a few final deep thrusts, his dick pulsed violently and you came so hard without warning that your pussy almost crushed him. With a gasp, he came inside you and sank into you a few more times, savoring your high until the very last second. Only then did he let go of your neck and pulled you up against him, breathing heavily. You knelt together on the floor and he struggled to breathe as he buried his face against your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around your stomach. Hyunjin brushed your hair out of your face and when your eyes met, you smiled warmly. "Thank you," he said and lifted your chin with one finger before his plush lips lingered on yours and he kissed you intensely. Satisfied and your body flooded with warmth, you buried your hands in his hair and returned the sensual kiss. Lino pressed a kiss to your shoulders and when you regained your senses a few minutes later and got dressed again, Lino hugged you tightly from behind while Hyunjin packed up his cell phone and your things.
"Babe?" he murmured and you snuggled into his arms.
"What is it?" you asked, turning around in his embrace so you could look at him. His eyes glittered with energy and his hazel hair fell down his forehead. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?" he asked softly and his concern touched you deeply. You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck. "I'm fine." He scrutinized you to make sure you were telling the truth, which made you smile. "Really!" you assured him. Not like all the other girls in his life so far, you didn't annoy him, let him come back to you instead, and he loved the feeling of chasing you, of always needing to prove that he was the only one to fuck you like that. He wanted, no needed to prove himself to you. Over and over again. He had no idea what that feeling was but he liked it. As well as he liked the way you looked at him. With so much adoration. Sharing you with his members made him even more happy, than he ever could have expected.
Lino was so much more sensitive and loving than he could admit to himself. You loved this side of him and it made you feel safe. Finally, he seemed to believe you and nodded.
"Alright, let's go home and I'll cook something delicious."
Pleased, Hyunjin came over to you. "That sounds like a good plan! Let's go then."
Lee Know gave you his sweater, which you gratefully pulled over your sports bra. When you had finished tidying up and switched off the light, you breathed a sigh of relief. It always felt good to be able to go home together.
You snuggled into Lee Know's sweater, smelling the collar and rolling your eyes when Hyunjin caught you doing it and raised his eyebrows. Lee Know kept glancing at you and couldn't stop grinning mischievously, and Hyunjin smirked quietly to himself as well.
What you did was indecent, beyond all the rules. Naughty and definitely unacceptable. And that's exactly what got your adrenaline pumping. It was the first time since Australia that you were with two of the members at the same time and you liked it. "Imagine someone had come in."
Lee Know said at the door and Hyunjin snorted. That seemed to be a fantasy of his and you playfully elbowed him in the side. "Then I'd be fired"
"You can still become an idol." he dismissed it and Hyunjin laughed. "Or influencer."
Just as you were about to say something back, Il-Deung came around the corner. You hadn't expected him so late. All three of you fell silent and you could see the boys' expressions change. They stared at him, transfixed. He was on his way straight to the dance studio you had been to. If only he had arrived a few minutes earlier...
"Good, you're still here!" he said, clutching the iPad in his hands.
"What's going on? I was just about to get off work," you asked and you could literally feel Lee Know rolling his eyes and Hyunjin looking disgusted.
"I have something important to discuss with you! If you have a few more minutes... You look very exhausted, what were you doing in the studio so late?" he asked, once again being too curious.
"Working out..." Hyunjin replied quickly and Lee Know couldn't help but grin. The smell of sex clung to you and it was obvious how annoyed Il-Deung was to catch you together again.
"So?" he asked emphatically.
"You can tell me quickly now, can't you?" you asked, but he just shook his head.
"I need to talk to you in private!"
Hyunjin frowned in surprise, but before either of them could say anything to make the situation even stranger, you said:
"It's okay! Go ahead, I'll catch up with you. I have to get something from my office anyway."
They both agreed and you pushed past Il-Deung, who followed you. You left the door open while you gathered your Ipad, the notepad with the numbers of the organizers of the next fan meeting and a few of the files with the stage designs. Meanwhile, Il-Deung stood in the doorway a little puzzled, obviously a little offended that you didn't offer him a seat. But you had no interest in this taking any longer. Il-Deung was pushy, unpleasant and, in your opinion, had far too much power. When he made no move to speak, you looked up from your desk and tilted your head a little.
"So. What's up?" you asked, and a message lit up on your cell phone. As you read it, he began:
"It's about your relationship with the members and the media attention on it."
You suppressed a smile as you read the group chat where Lee Know announced that he was cooking his famous seafood pasta for everyone. Directly, Changbin asked what had caused him to be in such a good mood.
"I've already talked to Mrs. Chung about this. The attention and rumors are wanted by JYP."
"Yes... A certain amount of attention and rumors, as long as it doesn't go too far and become scandals."
You didn't take any of his words seriously, after all, you had one of the highest positions in JYP on your side with Mrs. Chung. But Il-Deung looked deadly serious, pushed his glasses up his nose and put his Ipad down in front of you, which made you look up from your phone, where Chan and Jeongin were trying to guess what had happened, which even made Lino send a star emoji.
"Listen! I don't know what kind of weird relationship you have with the members, but if it threatens the company, I can't just stand by and watch. Even if you're just the whore of them..."
You returned his piercing gaze in astonishment. His brow furrowed almost aggressively and his fingers dug into the table when you didn't seem to take him seriously. You were starting to get restless. Flabbergasted you asked:
"Excuse me?"
But his attitude had changed drastically. Somehow he was threatening now with a whole new self-confidence.
"Maybe you should be more careful to not upset anyone..."
He was threatening you without a flinch, and you couldn't believe the situation yet. Were you dreaming? It was ridiculous.
"What are you talking about?"
He switched on his Ipad and started clicking pictures and turning the screen towards you.
"Pictures like that don't leave much room for speculation..." he grumbled and you tried not to let on as he scrolled through the unimaginable amount of snaps that were secretly taken of you. A cold shiver ran through you and your mouth went dry. There was a picture from Australia. You, Felix, Han on the street. Laughing, Han's arm wrapped tightly around your waist and you and Felix holding hands. There were clear red marks on your neck and reddish marks on Han's neck too. Everyone who wasn’t blind knew that these were hickeys. The next pics showed you on the beach from above. You sandwiched between them in the water. Felix hands all over your tits, Han kissing you. The next picture was taken in one of the hallways of the JYP building, where Changbin had his arms tightly wrapped around your stomach, his hands on your but and you were laughing and talking to each other with shining eyes. Another picture backstage in Japan. You could only see silhouettes. It was blurry and too far away, but you knew without a doubt that Han was kissing you on the picture before the performance. The next one made you gasp in disbelief. It wasn't very clear either. You recognized a car door. A tarnished window. Behind it, you could dimly make out two people. You recognized your profile and Jeongin's. You were on his lap, he was kissing your neck and it was clear that you weren't just having a professional conversation about work, as you could see from your shoulders that you were both no longer wearing shirts. This had to have been done after the video shoot, when you fucked in the car.
"Where the hell are they from?", you exclaimed louder than intended. Satisfied to finally have your attention, Il-Deung leaned back in the chair in front of your desk. You jumped up and scrolled through the pictures in disbelief. Your hands were freezing cold and shaking more and more.
"Does it matter?" The calculating calmness in his voice made you angrier and angrier.
"Yes! Someone is stalking us and taking creepy fucking pictures..."
There was taken in Australia. It was very zoomed in and therefore a bit blurry but you could make out Chan's family home. Chan and you were standing on the terrace in front of the white front door and he was brushing a strand of hair out of your face. Even if you had been there yourself, it was surreal to see the pictures from a third perspective. In the next picture, he was kissing you, his hands firmly on your waist and you pressed tightly against his chest. In the next picture, his family was also at the door and a cab was on the street. Chan's mother had lovingly taken your hands in hers and was talking to you. Whoever had taken the photo had been somewhere on the other side of the road. Maybe in a car... You had always been careful, always made sure that no one saw you and yet you weren't careful enough. By now you felt so sick that you had to sit down. There were so many pictures in so many private situations. The fact that someone had been watching you the whole time was scary.
"You work for a Kpop band! Paparazzi photos are normal."
Slowly, you couldn't stay calm anymore. Pointing your finger at his stalking pictures, you blurted out: "Those aren't paparazzi pictures! Someone has been to places where normal people don't have access!"
The asshole actually smiled.
"So you admit that's you in the pictures?"
Your heart pounded in your ears and you fell silent. He had you right where he wanted you. When you didn't say anything else, he leaned forward and propped his elbows on the table.
"I'm not interested in what you're doing with the members or what weird relationship you have... I just want to warn you."
His tone became dangerously calm. He looked at you like a snake, ready to snap.
"Warn me about what?" you asked, hating that he was so intimidating.
"That this could get public... That's not the case yet, but if you continue to be so careless. Ignoring me... being rude. Who knows."
Gradually, you began to realize. You shook your head in disbelief.
"If my uncle who's in the management of JYP finds out about this... He's the old type. For him, scandals are the worst thing that can happen to a company. You know what scandals like that do to idols, don't you? Not only do you lose your job. The band gets broken up... not immediately, of course. First they are all sent on an indefinite hiatus... Then at some point the public is informed that there are no more Straykids because the members have decided to go their separate ways. They will never get a contract again and all the years of training, hard work and career is gone. In the blink of an eye."
Stunned, you could only stare at the Ipad. You had given him a lot of credit of being an idiot, but this? That was a little too high up on the James Bond villain scale.
"What do you want?" was the only open question in the room. Empty and with a snorting heart, you watched as he stood up and came around the table until he was standing in front of you. He bent down to you until his face hovered in front of yours.
"I'm just worried about you. I wish you would surround yourself with your own kind. With people who value you and don't take advantage of you..."
He twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers and you wanted to throw up, you felt so sick by now.
He just wanted to demonstrate his power. He'd had you followed, secretly photographed and now he was blackmailing you.
"I want nothing but your loyalty and maybe we'll even get along."
Frozen, you returned his gaze. His closeness was suffocating. You could smell his expensive perfume, but it burned like gasoline in your nose.
"Think about it," he smiled disgustingly, pushed the strand of hair behind your ear and stroked his fingers down your neck before pulling away, taking his iPad and finally disappearing. It was only when the door slammed shut that you audibly gasped and buried your face in your hands. Despair began to eat away at you. You couldn't tell anyone about this. Chan would freak out and put his career on the line without thinking. You couldn't risk that.
So you tried not to let on. Even as you ate, chatted and laughed together back at them dorm, your worries wouldn't leave you alone. Even though you were safe in the dorm, it wouldn't let you sleep the whole night.
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sturniluvr · 19 days
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FA cup champ
Mason Mount x fem!reader
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word count: 1.5k
warnings: some strong language, maybe some spelling mistakes, nothing other than that, lmk if I missed anything.
requested: yes/no
summary: Y/N surprises Mason at the FA cup final
A/N: shoutout to my fave mase acc on tumblr @mountttmase for convincing me to write this❤️enjoy everyone!🫶🏻
❗️semi proof-read❗️
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Today was the day, May 25th, FA cup final, Manchester derby. Y/N was nervous to say the least, having grown up a Man United fan, knowing the boys were playing arguably one of the team's biggest rivals made those nerves worse. She wanted nothing more than her club to win, especially for her boyfriend of 3 years, Mason Mount. 
She was currently in the car with Mason’s family on the way to Wembley, next to the Y/H/C woman sat Summer, who was asleep in her car seat and on the other side of the sleeping girl was Jaz, Mase’s older sister and Lewis sat behind the three girls with a sleeping Mila next to him. Y/N felt a tap on her shoulder, she looked behind at Lewis. He leaned forward as much as the seat belt would allow him. 
“Does he know you’re coming?” The older man asked. She shook her head. 
“No, I told him I had to work, but I managed to convince my manager to let me have today off, thought it’d be a nice surprise.” She replied. He nodded his head in agreement and sat back in his seat. 
*little time skip*  
They had arrived at Wembley and Y/N had the job of waking summer up while Jaz quickly changed Mila’s nappy before they all headed into the stadium. 
“Sum, wake up sweetheart. We’re here.” She whispered softly to the little girl and summer stirred in her car seat. She opened her eyes and held her arms out to her auntie. Y/N picked her up out her car seat and rested the girl on her hip until she was more awake and wanted to walk. 
The adults had collectively agreed to get some food first before heading into the stadium since everyone was hungry and they were earlier than expected so they found a little restaurant up the road from the stadium and they made their way to the restaurant and had some delicious food. 
*around 2:30* 
After they finished their food, they made their way back to the stadium and headed up the stairs. As she walked up the stairs to the entrance of the stadium, all she wanted to do was go and wait for Mason to arrive but she had to stop herself so she didn’t ruin the surprise.  
“You excited to see uncle Masey?” Y/N asked summer who was holding her hand. She looked up and nodded enthusiastically with a smile on her face and a skip in her step knowing she was soon going to see her uncle. 
*time skip to kick off* 
She watched as the teams made their way out of the tunnel, she smiled at the sight of her childhood team, on the pitch ready to play and win the FA cup. Y/N and Lewis leaned forward in their seats as the whistle blew for kick off and watched intently. 
30th minute
She cheered with the United fans as Garnacho tapped the ball into the net, scoring the first goal of the match. She certainly started feeling more confident as she watched the reds play with all they could give. 
39th minute
She bit her nails as she watched Bruno beautifully pass to Kobbie and Mainoo kicked it into the back of the net, making the score 2-0 to United before half time, she shot up and cheered once again, feeling pride fill her body at how well her team was doing. 
90+2 minute
She clapped and smiled as Mase made his way onto the pitch being subbed on alongside Lindelof for McTominay and Garnacho. She was silently praying that city wouldn’t not score again and cause the match to go to extra time, she was too nervous for that. Next to the woman, she heard chants of ‘Masey’ coming from Summer. She smiled at the young girl and picked her up and rested her on her hips so that she had a slightly better view of the game. 
*time skip to full time*  
She let out a cheer with and gently jumped up and down with summer still on her hip. Man United had won the FA cup!! She was beaming with pride for Mase and her team, she was so proud of them all.  
She already had tears in her eyes from the sight of Mase lifting the trophy with the biggest grin on his face, reaching from ear to ear and his pearly whites on show, now she was crying even more seeing her team lift the trophy behind the FA cup winner banner and confetti and champagne covering them all head to toe. She physically couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She put summer down and quickly wiped her eyes before they headed down to the pitch, she could finally see her boy and tell him just how proud she was.  
*on the pitch*  
The players had now spread out across the pitch heading to their respective families and friends. Her Y/E/C eyes landed on the love of her life, who she’d been dying to see all day. Before anyone could catch her, summer bolted towards her uncle Masey.  
“MASEY!” Summer screamed out as she ran towards him. He turned around and smiled at the sight of his niece, he opened his arms and picked her up and spun her around before sitting her on his hip. 
“Hey sweetheart, you okay?” Mason spoke softly to her. Summer nodded and smiled at him.  
Y/N stayed behind slightly to give Mason a moment with his family. She watched with a soft smile as Mason passed Summer over to Jaz so he could hug everyone else.
“There’s someone here darling.” Debbie whispered in his ear as she hugged him. The 25 year old looked around and his brown eyes locked with the Y/E/C he fell in love with 3 years ago. He made a beeline for his girl and wrapped his arms around Y/N’s torso and lifted her off the ground, she instantly wrapped her arms around his neck, placing kisses all over his face, the last one being his lips, he deepened the kiss ever so slightly and his hands made home on her hips. 
She looked up at him with a breathtaking smile, one that he immediately reciprocated. 
“I’m so fucking proud of you mase!” The woman exclaimed. He pulled her back in for another hug. One hand cupping the back of her head and the other resting on her back, he rested his head in the crook of her neck, planting sporadic kisses to her neck.  
“Thank you, baby. I’m so glad we won!” He replied, voice slightly watery with emotion. 
He lifted his head up to look at the love of his life and he smiled at her before placing a final kiss on his favourite pair of lips. It finally set in that his girl was here and not at work like she said she would be today. He looked down at Y/N and squeezed her waist slightly. 
“I thought you had work anyway cheeky. I thought your asshole of a manager wouldn’t give you the day off?” He spoke with a confused tone, Y/N let out a little laugh at the sight of her boyfriend looking like a confused puppy. 
“I managed to convince him to give me the day off, so I thought I’d surprise you.” she replied, smiling up at her winner. 
“Cheeky.” Mase chuckled, slapping her butt gently. “But thank you darling, it means the world to me for you to be here with my family” he added on, still smiling, his cheeks had started to hurt from all the smiling he’d done in the last hour. 
Interrupting their moment, Rasmus ran over to the couple, he gave Y/N a quick hug as the older woman congratulated him. 
“We gotta get going to the after party soon mase, you coming Y/N/N?” The younger man spoke with excitement in his voice.  
“Mase we gotta get to Monaco for the Grand Prix.” she spoke looking between the two footballers.  
“Love, the race isn’t until 3 we’ll be able to fly tomorrow morning and make it for the race.” Mason reassured the woman.  
“Come on Y/N let’s have a party!” Rasmus spoke in a sing song tone causing her to laugh at him. 
“What do you say baby?” Mase looked at the girl for confirmation, she threw her head back dramatically sighing.  
“Fuck it, why not.” She replied laughing as the boys cheered and wrapped their arms around her shoulders. 
“Jaz, Lew, you coming to the after party?” The siblings nodded almost immediately.  
“Mum? Dad? You coming?” Jaz looked between her parents. 
“No it’s okay, we’ll get the girls home and in bed, you kids go have fun!” Tony replied, smiling at the younger adults. Jaz passed summer to Debbie and Tony already had Mila in his arms, they left with the young girls, and the adults all made travel arrangements to get to the after party. Y/N, Lewis and Jaz got an uber and Mason and Rasmus made their way to the party on the team coach.  
They all danced the entire night. Y/N and Mason being slightly more conscious with drinking than Rasmus as they had to travel the next morning. They all laughed at Rasmus singing Abba. Y/N made a mental note to message the younger man in the morning to see how he was feeling knowing he’d he hungover. 
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liliansun · 1 year
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FREE TRIAL WEDDING STYLE | L. DONGHYUCK
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synopsis: when a random, cute, guy comes up to you and practically asks for you to follow along, you do so without much thought. that is until you get home and see he’s your new neighbor who just might need your help a little more than you expected.
pairing: fake-bf/new neighbor!haechan x oc
wc: 10.6k
genre: fluff, comedy, fake dating au, slice of life (?), wedding au
warnings: warnings, kissing, all that fun jazz (lmk if I miss any)
mentions of: 127, dream and wayv members, mention of aespa members
<3: special thanks to ash and briar for literally just beta reading anything I ask them to and for just being the best friends I ever could’ve asked for, they’re the real og besties and I love you guys sm 🫶
PART TWO: FIRST ANNIVERSARY
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Looking up at the boy in front of you who seemed desperate for you to follow along, you clear your throat as you shift your eyes to his friends. “Um, I thought I told you I was coming here on break.” Awkwardly trying to come up with the right words, the boy watches as you look panicked and takes the seat in front of you. “It must’ve not gone through, babe.” He said, reaching across the table to place his hand over yours. You glared at him, making him immediately retract his hand and laugh it off as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“We’re out Haechan, text us when you’re gonna meet up.” One of the guys from what you can only assume was his friend group said as he got up and gathered his belongings. “What- wait I still wanna come.” The boy, who you just learned is Haechan, whined as he immediately stood up from his seat when his friends made way for the door. “Dude you’re here with your girl, catch up later.” The boy with blue hair gave him a knowing look which caused the boy, Haechan, to pout. “Actually, I was about to go back to work anyway because- yeah, so um it’s nice seeing you, honey?”
Haechan can see how uncomfortable you are and simply nodded as you grabbed your belongings. He walked beside you, making your way to the door before you two part ways. To his surprise, you go off in the opposite direction than him and his friends, not saying another word about the shit show you had to endure.
After the awkward encounter back at the cafe, you went back to work and tried to pretend it never happened. Rubbing your eye with the palm of your hand, you don’t get a good look at whoever joined in the elevator when it stopped midway to your designated floor. Too caught up in the oddly comforting feeling of rubbing the stress and sleepiness from your eye, you lean back with both eyes closed. “Didn’t get enough sleep?” You recognize the voice, humming as you let out a yawn.
“Why didn’t you take a nap on break?” You roll your head toward the voice, opening your eyes to see Jaehyun giving you a knowing look. “I had lunch away from the office and I’m honestly starting to regret it.” The ding of the elevator signals you to get off on your floor. Jaehyun follows behind, slipping his hands into his pockets. “What happened, did you try some weird new restaurant again because if you spend the next 30 minutes away from the desk again I’m gonna shred your computer.”
You furrow your brows, whipping around on your heels to point a finger into his chest. “It’s not my fault, okay, last time I tried that cheap fusion food truck and it gave me food poisoning.” Shuttering, you try to block out the memory of the last time you went away from the office for lunch which cost you a bill from the hospital and toiletries to keep you at bay. “Plus this wasn’t anything that happened with the food, this guy..I don’t know it was weird and I just wanna forget about it.”
“Suit yourself, but don’t be calling for me when your stomach starts to churn.” He says, walking away from you to enter the main office area. You sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you slip between the crowded area till you get to your own desk. Plopping down in your seat, your eyes immediately look at the brightly colored sticky note left by your senior editor. Snatching it from the base of your computer, you groan while crumbling it in your hand. “Someone’s sour today I see.”
“Maybe if Kim Jungwoo didn’t leave cryptic messages at my desk when I’m not there instead of telling me when I’m actually in the office then I wouldn’t want to bash his pretty face in.” Karina smiles at you, leaning against your desk as she watches you throw away the note into a bin. “Do I even want to know what that was all about?” You roll your head towards her, shaking your head before refocusing on the emails you missed. “Gotcha, speaking of pretty faces, Jae told me you met a boy at lunch.”
“How did he tell you that when we literally just got in?”
“He has a big mouth for such a quiet man.” Nodding along, you start to click through emails, sorting through which ones are important and which ones can be pushed back till you get home. “So.”
“So?” Karina smiled at you, leaning towards you as she wiggled her finger. “Don’t play dumb y/n, tell me about the boy!” Rolling your eyes, you shrug her off and go back to what you were doing before. “Uh uh, don’t do that, tell me pretty please? I mean when’s the last time you had a boy to talk about since your douchebag of an ex.” Fighting back a frown, Karina notices how stiff you get and gently rubs your arm. “I’m sorry, I know it’s still fresh.”
With a heavy sigh, you turn your chair towards her. “That’s the thing, it’s been two years and I still can’t seem to get over him or even mention him.” She continues rubbing your arm, knowing all too well how messy your breakup with your ex was. “I really can’t say much about him though, the guy I mean.” She nods, letting you know she’s listening. “He’s cute, I’ll give him that, kinda baby faced in a mature way if that makes sense and he seems almost childlike with the guys he was with but in the moment he was more desperate than anything.”
She smiles, playing with the ends of your hair. “Sounds like you like him.” You give her a twisted look, shaking your head at the thoughts you could only imagine that were starting to play out in her head. “No, uh uh no ma’am, don’t give me that look I literally just met him.” She props herself up on your desk, swinging her legs as her smile widens at your sudden defensiveness on the subject. “Karina, I promise you, he literally came up to me and pretended like we were dating! What kind of guy does that?”
Raising her eyebrows, she leans back on her palms. “Only the desperate boys who wanna slip your skirt d-“ The sound of a loud clearing of the throat caught both of your attentions. Looking at who was standing in the entryway to your small desk space, you see a very unimpressed Taeyong. “I’m not gonna ask what you two are giggling about,” he throws his hands up, wiggling his fingers with one while the other shakes around a manila envelope in the other, “But this is for you sent directly from Doyoung.” With a fake smile, you take the envelope that he ever so kindly handed over, snickering as he left off back to whatever he had found before.
“I hate to see what you did in your past life, karma is a bitch to you.” When your face deadpans, Karina throws her head back in a fit of laughter. You slap at her legs with the envelope, whining as she finds humor in your torture. “I don’t get why Doyoung always sends me the most complicated stuff, like I’m not the only person on the floor.” Putting emphasis on his name, you make a mental note to not get such a nice gift like you do each year for Christmas exchange. And if you’re wondering, yes you do get him a separate gift every year because you simply can. I mean, who wouldn’t, it’s Doyoung.
“Maybe because you’re one of the best editors on the floor.” Smiling, you lean back in your chair while tossing the envelope beside your keyboard. “You always know what to say to me.” Hopping off your desk, Karina flattens out the front of her pants before placing both hands on her hips. “Yeah yeah, work your magic and I’ll see you later.” You wave her off, facing your laptop with no intent on working on the pile of stuff in front of you.
After many excruciating hours sitting in your chair, you read the time and quickly gather your things to head home. You catch a cab to your tiny apartment, dragging yourself up the stairs in hopes you’ll actually make it to your bed before the mental exhaustion takes its toll. Reaching the top of the stairs, you see the door across from yours wide open. “I guess they found someone to fill the room.” You mutter to yourself, slinging your purse over your arm that doesn’t seem to stop sliding down.
As you’re putting your keys into your door, you hear scuffling behind you. “Oh hey neighbor.” Turning around, you meet eyes with the person you literally thought you’d never see again. “Oh, it’s you.” Haechan seemed taken aback, offended to his core when he gasped as he held his chest. “Nice to see you again, too.” If this was your final straw, your 13th reason, you’d probably let the world swallow you hole right on your doorstep and not bat an eye, but knowing Jungwoo he’d still find a way to drag you back to work in the morning.
“Sorry, I’m just too tired and honestly don’t even want to have this conversation.”
“What conversation are we not having?” You can’t tell if he’s genuinely confused and doesn’t recognize you, which only hurts a little, or if he’s just that pretty and that dumb. Maybe a combination of both to soothe your ego a little. “Y’know what- never mind, goodnight, neighbor.” You finally turn the key, unlocking your door and slipping into your lonely apartment. Dropping the bag by the door, you toss your shoes off and convince yourself a hot shower would wash this day away.
And it does, for the most part. Maybe it’s because you shampooed your hair and you feel ten times more clean or maybe it’s because hot water seems to cure every bad mood you had before you got into the shower. Now, you’re hungry and all you want is something warm and to snuggle with your cat till your dreadful alarm takes you away from your sleep. You’re in the kitchen, drying your hair with a towel when you hear a knock at your door. And another and another.
Your only guess as to who it could be was Karina, maybe she and her boyfriend got into a fight again and she wanted to blow off some steam at your place. You go to open the door, being met with a very sheepish looking Haechan who can tell your mood dropped a little at his presence. “What.”
“Okay, firstly ouch, is that any way how you treat a neighbor? I mean I just moved in tod-“
“I’m giving you five more seconds to tell me what you want or I’m shutting the dam-“
“Okay okay fine, uh, can I maybe, possibly just sorta hang out?” Maybe Karina was right, maybe this was your punishment for whatever fucked up thing you did in your past life and now you have to endlessly suffer as if you’re made of steal. Well news flash universe, you’re not, now lay off. “You’re kidding, right?” When his eyes drop down to his hands that he was anxiously rubbing together, you let out a sigh before stepping aside.
He looked up, his eyes almost bright as he looks into yours. “Come in before I change my mind.” Once he stepped inside, you expected him to sit quietly on your couch and do whatever he thought he was gonna do when he got in, but you were far from that reality. The quiet, almost shy, boy who you just so happened to meet twice in one day completely came out of his shell and is now sitting across from you on your floor while sharing a separate bowl of soup.
“So why did you name your cat peanut?” The pet in question, or conversation, came from the hallway and walked around rubbing his body against various things in your living room. “Because my brother is allergic to peanuts and peanut hated him so it seemed fitting.” He smiles, content with your answer as she moves his spoon around in the bowl. “You’re a bad host, you know?” With a mouth full of soup, you chew the contents with furrowed brows. He came to your door, invaded your space, is eating your soup and dares to call you a bad host?
“Excuse me, but you’re the one who came up to me at the cafe and practically forced me into going along with your story!” He scoffs, setting his bowl down in his lap while pointing his spoon at you. “You’re the one who went along with it, look where that got you.” You narrow your eyes, trying to weigh your options on what’s the best way to commit homicide. “Wait-what—why are you even in here again?”
“Well, see now that’s a good question.” His sudden change in demeanor was weird. He suddenly seemed nervous, shifting in his spot as he avoided your gaze. “I actually, uh, have something to propose. Well, more like ask a question if you will, it’s really interchangeable honestly.”
He mirrors you, watching you with hopeful eyes as you start shaking your head. “Oh no, uh uh, don’t even say it.” He hurries behind you, pouting as he watches you set your near empty bowl in the sink. “I didn’t even say anything yet.” You turn around, holding your arms out to prevent him getting any closer. “No, but I know what you’re gonna ask and I’m not—no!” Haechan tries to speak, being interrupted when you shh him. You walk past him when he puts his bowl besides yours, speed walking down your hallway to your room.
“Y/n, don’t leave me in here alone.” God he sounded so whiny, it’s kinda cute if you’re honest, but that’s more of a random thought than a compliment for now. “Wait- how did you know my name?” Turning on your heel, the two of you stop midway in your hallway. “The landlord told me, he said if I ever needed anything to ask my neighbor and I currently am in need!” You turn back, trying to block him out as you enter your room and desperately climb into your bed.
Haechan stands at the entrance of your room, pouting when you reach for your laptop beside your bed. “Do you know how insane this is, I mean we just met today and then you just so happened to move in across from me and now you’re in my apartment, practically in my room,” you take in a deep breath, laughing it out as you open the device in your lap, “and I already feel like I know what you’re gonna ask me and it’s so fucking insane.”
Haechan doesn’t say anything, looking at you with an awkward smile. If you knew him, you’d think he was enjoying this, but that’s the thing is that you didn’t know him. “I know this is crazy and you might try to call the cops, but just hear me out.” You scrunch your nose, staring at him from across the room with crossed arms. “Remember the guys I was with earlier right, they’ve kinda been on me about being in a relationship and in a panic, I saw you and yeah the rest you pretty much know.”
“Do you know how pathetic that sounds, to use a random stranger as a decoy for your love, or lack of, life.” He looks taken aback, almost hurt at your brutal honesty and it leaves a slightly bad taste in your mouth. “Look, I’m sorry for that and almost as sorry as the situation your friends put you in.” He shrugs, running his hands through his hair as he opts to sit against your doorframe. There’s an uncomfortable silence that settles between the two of you, both not entirely sure what to say next and not sure on what to even begin to say to make it better.
You stare at the unopened files on your screen, mentally weighing your options and trying to decide whether to kick him out and potentially file a restraining order or to give him a chance, both seem like they’ll end up in flames honestly. “Look, I’ve seen way too many drama shows and I have a feeling on how this is supposed to go—it may be because I’m sleep deprived or how sad you’re looking right now, but I’ll think about it.”
His face lit up, hope filling his eyes with a certain kind of sparkle that made you feel worse if you’re being honest. “I knew it was a good decision to move here, I just knew it.” He mumbled to himself, smiling as he got up from your floor and brushed himself off. “I’ve got work to do, but we’ll talk tomorrow..I guess?” Nodding, Haechan gave you a salute which made you laugh before turning on his heels and disappearing into the darkness of your hallway. You let out a breath, a breath you didn’t know you were holding and lean against your pillows trying to figure out what you just signed up for.
Just as you start clicking on files, Haechan comes running back to your door. “You should probably lock the door.”
“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” Pushing your laptop aside, you get up from your bed and follow behind him.
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The days following your very awkward and yet unclear agreement, you would only see Haechan in the hallway when one of you was leaving as the other was just getting in. That talk you were supposed to have, yeah that never actually happened due to your sudden pileup of work that occupied your time. Just have you been all week, you were currently sitting on your couch with your laptop occupying the space on your lap as you wait for your takeout order. You’re about three-fourths of the way done with what you’re working on when you hear a knock at your door.
Setting the device aside, you get up and go to answer it with your wallet in hand. When you open the door, much to your surprise, you see a very awkward Haechan holding your bags of takeout. “You sure do order a lot of food for one person.” Raising one brow, you reflect the smile he was giving you. “And who said I didn’t have company over?” You step aside, letting him come in and he does just so. After making his way towards your couch, he sets the bags down on the table in the center. You stop to think as you close the door how comfortable he seems when he barely knows you and has only been in your apartment one other time.
“If you did, I probably would’ve heard because, you know, the whole being neighbors thing.”
“Oh so you’re stalking me now?” He rolls his eyes at your comment, plopping down at the end of your couch. “You wish you got that much attention, don’t you.” You grab the nearest thing, good thing for him that it was a pillow, and throw it across the couch—directly hitting him in the head.
“Now that’s enough for a restraining order!”
“Please, if you didn’t wanna be near me then why’d you come to my door?” Haechan got silent, looking down at his hands while you sat back in your spot and started unpacking the food. “That got real deep real fast.” The sound of his chuckle made you smile, making sure to lay out the food across the table for the both of you. Silently, he leaned forward and started to fill up his bowl with toppings of his choice. Both of you started munching down, occasionally setting your food aside to continue your work. “What are you working on?” He asked, leaning into your side to peak over your shoulder.
“Our contract for this unrequited love.”
“Haha, very funny.” Haechan’s sarcastic tone and expression to match made you snicker as you finished up on your report and sent it off to Jungwoo for review. “Just some final notes for an article.” He nods, seeming content with your answer. “That’s not a bad idea though.” When you turn towards him, confusion evident on your face, Haechan then elaborates. “I mean the contract or at least some rules to this,” he motioned his hand between the two of you, “because I can’t tell if you can tell, but I’m desperate as hell.”
“Brownie points for rhyming.”
If you could see whatever went through his head when you said that, you probably would’ve enjoyed it just as much as seeing him throw his head into his hands. “Okay, in all seriousness how are we supposed to do this—I mean we don’t know one another and I’m not very sure I can trust a guy who still plays Michael Jackson till three am.”
Throwing his hands up, Haechan looked both offended and taken aback by your sudden forwardness. ”Firstly, don’t talk about the king like that, he’s a classic and everyone should be blasting his music the way I do, secondly I get where you’re coming from.”
Over the next two hours, the two of you talked about yourselves to help one another get more of an insight of your personalities, laugh at poorly made jokes and eat your way through cheap takeout food. After all that, you two moved on to why he approached you and the reason behind his need for a girlfriend. “So you’re telling me that the tall one,”
“Johnny.”
“Right, Johnny, is getting married and he kept pressuring you get a date for the wedding and instead of telling him you didn’t have one you made up a girl who doesn’t exist and when the one with blue hair,”
“Mark.”
“Yes, Mark, pointed me out as your imaginary girlfriend, you had no other choice, but to approach me and hope I’d play along?”
Haechan took a deep breath, cringing at the way you broke down his story which honestly made it sound worse. “Yeah, pretty much and did I mention they went to meet you before the wedding?” Squinting your eyes, you stare at him with your mouth agape. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“If I was, would I seriously be sitting on your couch right now?”
He had a point, he could honestly be doing anything in the world, probably playing some video game, but like anything other than staring at you like you’re his only hope. “You’re lucky I didn’t call the cops on you or something like a, I dunno, normal person would have.” Haechan falls forward dramatically, grabbing both of your hands and squeezes them as he muffles what you assume is happy screams into your couch cushion.
The sudden move shouldn’t have made your heart jump a little, but it did and you’re not entirely sure why. For now, you’re blaming it on the fact that he’s insanely cute and the greasy food as you feeling a little beside yourself. “Your godsend, truly from heaven itself.” You pull your hands from his grasp, trying to hide the fact that your face feels like it’s on fire. “Yeah yeah, let me go before I reconsider this whole thing.”
“Let me at least take you on the first date before you try to back out—which by the way, will be next weekend at the actual wedding.”
You know that spit-take scene in movies where a person literally spits their drink everywhere because of the shocking news they just received, well that was you when he said that. Only this time it wasn’t in slow motion and wasn’t nearly as awesome, instead you choked halfway through spitting it out and it came back up and out your nose as you tried to save yourself from choking.
Haechan, disgusted you just spit all over him and also worried to see you nearly come to your end, gets up from the couch and searches your apartment for a towel to clean you and him up. When he comes back, you had slipped away to the bathroom to not only hide your embarrassment, but to clean yourself up and change your shirt. After what seemed like enough time to hope he had left, you went back into your living room to see Haechan sitting on the floor and using your couch as a back rest.
“Are you okay because that was—well that was tragic to put it kindly.”
“Can we not mention that, like ever for the rest of our lives would be good.” Sitting across from him, you fold your arms on top of the table, trying to avoid his gaze as you look anywhere but directly at him. He nods, understanding how overwhelmed you just be with all that he’s asking. You can tell by his stance how grateful he is for you and you use that to settle your nerves a bit. After all, maybe this would be a good thing. Maybe all of Karina’s talk about the universe and good karma might actually pull through.
“I’m sorry for roping you into all of this.” When you finally meet his eyes, you could see the sadness that lingered in them as he hung his head. “I don’t want you to think I do this for fun or I’m creepy or anything—I feel really bad for bringing you into something you didn’t ask for.”
Your chest felt heavy as you watched him slump against your couch. The last few interactions with Haechan made you feel like you’ve known him your entire life and seeing him so down had you feeling hurt.
“If you don’t want to do this, tell me please because I just- I don’t want you to go along with this because you feel bad for me.”
“I do feel bad for you, but that’s not why I’m doing this.” When he lifted his head, you could see the smile spread across his lips. “I see this as a an opportunity.”
“To what exactly?” When he leaned in, you did the same. He looked so familiar in this moment, so relaxed and almost kissable. But that’s the last thing you need to be thinking about when his face is damn near touching yours. “Two words: free food.” Watching Haechan gasp, you laugh as he raises his eyebrows at you. “Who said I’m going to pay for your food?”
Shrugging, you look down at your wrist and start to tap it with your finger. “Oh look at that, seems like you’ll have to find another girl who will help you, guess you might as well go ho-“
Haechan jumped up from his seat, moving around the table to grab your wrist. “No no, that’s okay—free food you said, that includes travel rights too?” You almost hate to say it, but this boy was making moves that damn near took your breath away. It sounds almost sad to be so swooned over a boy you hardly know, but there was something about him that just made you feel so at home. Maybe it was the way he laughs at every bad joke you tell or maybe it’s the way he’s way too touchy for your liking and yet you don’t seem to mind it.
Maybe it’s the way his lips are so plump and every time he pouts, you just wanna grab his face and kiss him till you’re out of breath. Maybe it’s the way his hand always feels warm to the touch and you could only imagine how you’d feel with his arms around you.
“Earth to y/n?” The snapping of Haechan’s fingers pulled you from your thoughts, blinking at him as if he was just apart of your imagination this whole time. “What’s going on up there that’s got you so spaced out?”
“Nothing, just thinking about what I’m gonna wear to the wedding.” Haechan looked at you a little longer, his eyes scanning your face to which you assume he’s trying to find something in your eyes. He seems to have bought it, backing away from you to create more personal space for you while he goes back to sit across from you. “Good point, we might just have to go shopping around this weekend to find a dress—oh and don’t forget one for the wedding so that makes two.”
“With what money, exactly? I mean I’m not broke, but I’m not paid enough to buy two dresses I’ll probably only wear once.”
He rolls his eyes at you, pulling his phone from his pocket when it starts vibrating. He doesn’t answer, instead he swipes right on the caller id and brings the device to his ear. From what you can hear from the person on the other side of the phone, you felt like he probably had something important to do. You start to get up, picking up the towels that he used to clean up the couch with. When you left to drop them off in the dirty basket, you return to find your door cracked and Haechan to be missing. Assuming he had went back to his apartment, you start to go and close the door before it swings. Haechan comes in, being followed behind by a guy you don’t recognize.
“Donghyuck, that’s breaking bro-code and you know it.” You’re a little confused as to why Haechan was called by another name, but you stay silent and watched the blonde haired boy cross his arms at Haechan. “I told you Yangyang, I’m not going to give you the girl at my jobs number—she already told me she filed a restraining order.”
Yangyang, the blonde haired guy you assume, pouts as he gets down on his knees with hands intertwined. “Pretty please, it doesn’t even have to be her, it can be someone else, I just need someone man—I’m lonely!”
You watch the dramatic scene unfold in your living room, getting a weird sense of deja vu. After clearing your throat to try and prevent yourself from coughing, both boys look at you with confusion in their eyes. “Are you the fake girlfriend?”
“I guess?” The question threw you off when Haechan’s friend said it so bluntly. “Stop asking questions and go to my apartment.” Haechan picked his friend up from the ground, shooing him out of yours and to the one across the hall. When Yangyang was now in his apartment, Haechan turned to you with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry for what you had to witness.”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ve had weirder experiences than that if I’m being honest.”
He nods, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks around the floor. “So, I uh, I gotta get back to him or else he’ll probably destroy my apartment.”
“I’ll walk you home.” Your offer had his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink as you followed him from your door to his. Right before he went inside, he turned around and, to your surprise, gave you a hug. You took him in, wrapping your arms around his as you two held each other for what felt like forever. “Goodnight, Haechan.” You whispered as he pulled away, smiling at him. “Donghyuck.”
When you looked at him confused, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “My name is donghyuck, but my friends typically call me Haechan.”
“So we’re not friends?” He shook his head, smiling so fondly at you that you weren’t sure what was real or fake at this point. “Only my special friends can call me Donghyuck.”
That night, his words echoed in your head as you laid in bed staring at your ceiling. You seem quite delusional for falling for someone who you barely know, but boy oh boy does he have you on the edge and you’re ready to give it all just to fall into him. You grab your phone from off your bed, scrolling through your messages till you find Karina’s name.
y/n: baby boo u awake?
naevis baevis: no ew go to sleep
y/n: I think I like him
naevis baevis: GIRL WHATT THE HELL DID I MISS??
y/n: i don’t know I’m IDK he’s got me feelin wheezy
naevis baevis: so he’s got you having diarrhea??
y/n: NO BITCH WHAT??
naevis baevis: tell me tomorrow at work I’m too tired for you and your pneumonia
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As Karina swiveled her chair around, you sat on top of her desk while picking at the chipped polish on your nails. “So what’s his friend look like?” You look over at her with a deadpan expression as she wiggles her phone in her hand for you to see. “That’s the least important part of the story and instead of being a good friend you wanna ask about the random guy who practically begged for bitches on my living room floor?” She nods, continuing to wiggle her phone at you until you snatch it from her hand and type in his name.
“That’s all I get?” She frowns, scrolling through the pulled up suggested accounts with the same name. “Look, I only know his name was Yangyang and you better hope I spelt that right.” She looks focused as she continues to scroll through, clicking on an account and holding it up for you to approve—to which you did. “He’s kinda cute.” She coos, looking through his instagram feed while leaning back in her chair. “Karina.” You whine, nudging her leg with your foot as she giggles at her phone. She looks up from her phone, mirroring your pout as she sets the device down and folds her hands together. “Look, I don’t see anything wrong with it, he’s offering to pay for your dresses and he’s incredibly hot from what I saw on his friends page so I say it’s a win-win.”
“How do you know he’s incredibly hot based off his friends page?”
“Duh, you’ve described this man to me so many times I’ve practically seen him through your eyes at this point.” She had a point, ever since Haechan walked into your life, all you seem to do is talk about him and how he makes your stomach is filled with butterflies. “So when’s the wedding again?” You snap out from your thoughts, staring at her with shock. “Huh?”
“His friends wedding, when is it?” For some reason when she first asked the question, you thought she was talking about you and Haechan and that alone had your face turning a slight shade of pink. “Girl please don’t tell me you thought I was talking about your man.” You rolled your eyes, sliding yourself off her desk and pulled down the rolled up pieces of fabric of your pants. “He’s not my man.” She gives you a look that tells you she doesn’t buy your bullshit and swivels her chair back around to her computer. “Tell that to lover boy next time you see him.”
You ignore her last comment and head back to your desk, confused to see a note left by your keyboard. When you pick it up, you read that Xiaojun had eaten your lunch by accident and apologized via sticky note. Crumbling it in your hand, you plop down into your chair in defeat. You throw the sticky note in the trash and start to open up files on your computer when you hear the phone on your desktop ring. Answering, you continue to click open files with the phone to your ear. “Y/n’s office.”
“Hey y/n, it’s winter down at the front desk, this guy is asking for you if you’re not busy.” You check the time on your computer, shrugging as you pin a couple important things before closing off the rest. “Sure, I’ll come down.” After you hang up the phone, you let Jaehyun know you’re going to lunch in which he replies he hopes you get a stomach bug. One of these days you’re gonna poison his food you think—playfully of course.
After a quick elevator ride down, you enter the main lobby of your building and wave at Winter who was standing behind the front desk. She returns the wave with a smile and points over at Haechan who was sitting on a bench by the front doors. In his hand was a bouquet of flowers and his phone. “Um, are you stalking me because if you are then this won’t work, I draw the line at being creepy.” Your voice caught Haechan’s attention, closing off his phone and tucking it into his jacket pocket as he gets up and heads towards you. “No I’m not stalking you, I asked the landlord for your number and where you worked and surprisingly he told me in a heartbeat.”
You make the mental note to stop sharing personal information with your landlord before focusing in on the flowers in his hand. Haechan’s eyes follow yours, looking down at the flowers before handing them over to you. “I thought since I’m your fake boyfriend, I might as well be a good one for compensation on having to deal with the shit show you got sucked into.” You smile at the flowers, looking up to meet his eyes. “Thank you, for the flowers I mean.” He nods, rubbing the back of his neck as he tries to hide his smile. “So, you’re not busy are you, because I totally showed up unannounced, but I figured it was better to do that then text you and you block my number”.
“No, I’m on lunch right now and you chose the best option on that.” He nods, linking his arm with yours and immediately starts walking towards the exit. “Excuse me, but where exactly are we going and why the hell did you feel the need to skip with your steps?” He smiled and if you’re honest, his smile brightened up the entire atmosphere around you. “We’re going dress shopping, duh, oh and to get lunch because I’m a good boyfriend like that.”
You didn’t have time to protest before the two of you were off into the city. He gave you the choice for lunch, picking a taco stand near some shops because you felt guilty for him paying for everything. He would not let you bring out your wallet and even threatened to throw it out the window if you tried to spend your money. The gesture was sweet, but his seriousness made you tuck it safety away in your pocket.
Once you found a dress shop you were comfortable entering, you both entered and looked around before one of the staff took you away while the other walked Haechan around and helped him pick out dresses for you to try on. Once he found a couple different options, you tried them on and the both of you settled on your favorite pick for the first dress that you’d wear to the ceremony. Since the reception was going to be later in the night, Haechan opted for a different dress that was more covering so that you wouldn’t be so cold. When you came out in the second dress that he himself specifically picked, you almost felt too nervous to meet his gaze.
When he turned around from talking to a staff member, he visibly froze when his eyes met with yours. Panic starts to rush through your veins as you pull and fluff the dress in hopes that you don’t look like a total fool. “So, how does it look?” Haechan didn’t say anything for almost two minutes, staring at you with his mouth open. You snap your fingers at him, face turning read as the staff members smile lovingly at you both. “Sorry, I uh, wow.” You look at him dumbfounded, turning around to go back and change out of the dress. Just before you close the curtain, you could feel the warmth from his fingers wrap around your wrist and turn you around. “Breathtaking, to answer your question, you look absolutely breathtaking.”
“I meant the dress.” You mumble as you try to avoid his gaze. “The dress is just a piece of fabric, it’s the person wearing it that gives it such glow.” You couldn’t think straight, your mind going to mush with the lack of space between you and Haechan, the sudden smell of his cologne taking over your senses and his blown-out pupils making you feel almost dizzy. You nod, swallowing thickly as you pull yourself from his grasp and rush into the changing area. Embarrassing is what you’d call that, way too embarrassing to talk about and way too embarrassing to not forget. You opt to pretend it didn’t happen and get dressed. When you hang the dresses on the outer rack, you realize the dress Haechan picked didn’t have any coverage on the shoulders and by time you had gotten dressed, you saw him at the register.
“Where’s the dresses?” You ask, meeting him by his side when he gets his receipt from the cashier. “They’re bagging them up now, why?”
“The second one didn’t have sleeves, you wanted sleeves so I don’t get cold, no?” To see the smile on his face made you confused, there wasn’t anything particular that was funny nor did you say anything for him to be smiling like he just found a million dollars. “I only want you by my side in that dress, the rest doesn’t matter.” You snicker, shoving him as one of the staff members calls his name. He walks over, getting both dresses in their boxes and some simple instructions on how to take care of them in washing. “You two are a beautiful couple.” The cashier’s voice caught you off guard, waving your hands as you shake your head.
“No, you’re mistaken, we’re not together.” Her eyes flicker between you and Haechan, smiling as she looks away embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I just thought because of the way you two look at one another.” You were just about to ask her what she meant by that when Haechan came back. “Ready to go?” You nodded, following him out the store and back to his car where you two drove in silence back to your job.
He bid you a goodbye and told you he’d keep the dresses till you came by to get them. You promised him you’d be by after work and went back into the building with the biggest smile on your face. With the flowers in one hand, you scanned your ID badge when you entered the building and saw a bunch of weird states from your coworkers. You wouldn’t necessarily call the weird, but they were all smiling at you so sickly that you felt as if you were about to get pranked.
The ride up the elevator was also weird, a bunch of people kept giggling and smiling at you when asking about your flowers and it was starting to make you uncomfortable. As you got off on your floor, you walk down to get to your desk when someone grabs you and drags you into a janitor’s closet. You nearly scream when being jerked to the side until you see Karina with a shit-eating grin on her face. Now that you know you weren’t about to be chopped up into little pieces, you steady yourself and take deep breaths to catch your breath. “You’re fucking insane.”
Staring at her in shock, you slap her thigh to which she winces. “Me, insane? You just drug me into a closet like a psycho maniac and for what?” She giggles into her hand, leaning forward as she sniffs your flowers. “So he brought you fucking flowers girl? We were just talking about him and he shows up with a bouquet and a ring?”
You roll your eyes at her emphasis on a ring. “What ring, we literally—wait firstly who told you he brought me flowers?” She then proceeds to explain how Winter saw you and Haechan and then told Ningning who then told Wendy who then told Taeyong who then told Jaehyun who then told literally everyone. You make another mental note to hunt Jaehyun down and ruin his chance at having kids. “So spill the tea, c’mon, don’t be shy and tell me about your date.”
“It wasn’t a date, he took me to lunch which he wouldn’t let me pay for I might add, he brought me dresses for the wedding he coerced me to be his date for and then drove me back.” She holds her hand over her mouth as she stares at you with a smile. “So he took you on a date.” You then slap her thigh again as she giggles and an unfamiliar smell catches your attention. “What’s that smell?” She looks at you, considering what smell you could be talking about. You lean in, getting a good look at her to realize her hair had been messed with, her lips slightly swollen and her shirt was buttoned wrongly.
You give her a grin as she sees you connect the dots and immediately opens the door. “Oh no, come back and do spill the tea miss Karina!” She covers her ears, trying to block you out as you follow behind her and start pointing out the differences of her appearance from before you last saw her.
Later that night, you kept your promise to go over to Haechan’s, but only after you had taken a very much needed shower did you do so. When you knocked on his door, you could hear the music that was being played stop and a bit of shuffling before the door opened. You expected to see Haechan, but to your surprise you saw someone you weren’t exactly familiar with. The guy who was giving you a weird look was his honestly kind of cute in an intimidating way, but you stopped yourself from thinking that any further than you already did. “Are you gonna say something or are you just gonna stare at me?”
Embarrassed, you avert your eyes from his and try to think of something to say. You don’t know why you feel so under pressure, maybe it was the lack of expression in his face or the fact that he was practically your height, but made you feel small. “Renjun, was that the pizza guy?” You could hear Haechan from inside the apartment, his voice bringing a smile to your lips. Just as you’re about to go back into your apartment and give up on getting your dresses, Haechan comes beside to the boy you assume is Renjun and sees your visible uncomfortableness. “Y/n, hi- oh shit I forgot to give you your dresses, didn’t I?”
“No, no actually I was supposed to come get them, but that’s okay I’m just gonna uhm I’m gonna go home.” Backing away from the door, you signal to your apartment entrance behind you as you see Haechan pout. “Wait, why don’t you come inside and hang out with us?” Haechan, who slipped through the space between Renjun and the wall, made his way to you in hopes to stop you from leaving. Your eyes flicker between Renjun and Haechan, feeling almost guilty for wanting to remove yourself from this awkward situation. “Hyuck, I’m just across the hall, go have time with your friend.”
Haechan’s face softened at the nickname, nodding when his hand brushed against yours. He clears his throat as he steps back towards his apartment, waving at you goodnight as you go back in to snuggle up to your cat. Haechan re-entered his apartment, ignoring the look on Renjun’s face as he plops down on his couch. “What was that and why was that so weird?” Haechan shot a look over at Renjun when his friend started to mirror the look.
“What, I mean from what I just saw from you two, y’all have some weird tension that needs to be solved.”
“Nah, you just scared her away by being that ugly.”
Renjun sarcastically laughs at Haechan’s poorly made joke, flipping up his middle finger at his friend. “I have you know that women find me dangerously attractive.” Haechan snickers, trying to prevent himself from laughing too hard. “Is that what your mom tells you at night?” The last part is what lead Haechan to run for his life around his apartment as Renjun brought various objects for use of a weapon against his friend. Finally after the two made a truce, Haechan decides to text you after remembering how he never did give you his number.
You were a little surprised to get a text when you weren’t expecting one, especially at the hour that it came in. You had been on the phone with Karina while she filled you in on the reason for her shirt being undone and messed up earlier that day. “I literally don’t know what came over me, but I messaged the guy and he ended up being around and we just pounced.”
You laugh, clicking on the message app. “I can’t believe you nearly gave it all to Yangyang.” She laughs, wiping the tears that were in the corners of her eyes from all the giggling you two have been doing. “Me either! I mean I know he’s cute, but damn his lips are magic.” You hesitate to open the unknown message, afraid it could bad someone trying to scam you out of whatever you got and to be honest it wasn’t much, but you knew you wouldn’t let them have your cat peanut.
unknown: hey
y/n: uhm hello?
unknown: I miss u
y/n: I will literally block you
unknown: ITS ME ITS HAECHAN
y/n: ohh hi hyuck
You decide change his contact name and save his number.
boy next door aka hyuck: wyd :p
y/n: blocking you bc that was cringe
boy next door aka hyuck: you want me so bad oo 😵‍💫
y/n: don’t you wish I did 😏
boy next door aka hyuck: yes
y/n: I’m telling my fbi agent
boy next door aka hyuck: tell them I said i just wanted to text you so you’ll have my number
boy next door aka hyuck: and to apologize for Renjun earlier but goodnight for now
y/n: goodnight hyuck
boy next door aka hyuck: goodnight y/n
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The rest of the week and a half that played out before the wedding only added more fuel to the fire in your heart that burned for Haechan. He would send you songs throughout the day at random times to which you started adding to a playlist anytime you couldn’t stop thinking about him. He would leave things at your doorstep or drop stuff off at your job for you to get on your lunch break. He occasionally would come over or you’d be invited over and the two of you would spend the night laughing at poorly made moves, singing old Michael Jackson songs at the top of your lungs, which is how you realized that he was literally gifted the voice of an angel, and play board games after the two of you had one too many drinks.
Each time you two were alone and it was late, it always seemed that you were avoiding the inevitable. You could always stop yourself from leaning in and stealing a kiss from his plump and precious lips, but that never stopped your mind from thinking about it. The tension that Renjun mentioned before seemed to only get thicker the more you spent time with him, making it harder to see the line between this all being fake and what was genuinely real.
The morning of the wedding to be specific was when you could clearly tell that the dynamic of your relationship had shifted and there wasn’t much room to turn back now. That alone terrified you because you weren’t sure if you had been the only one feeling the way you felt. You had changed into your dress and made sure to apply minimal makeup to keep yourself from looking like a burnt out clown by the end of the night. Thankfully for you, the dress was comfortable and the venue where the ceremony was being held wasn’t too far.
“Are you nervous?” Your question came unexpected to Haechan, turning his head to give you a quick glance over as he continued his drive to the ceremony venue. “Why should I be, I’m not the one getting married.” He smiled thinking about his friend and the future he was creating from this day forward. Haechan was genuinely excited to see Johnny become a dad and do all the things he knew he was fit for. It wasn’t like Haechan was scared for that part of his future, he did look forward to being married and settling down with his partner, but he never thought he’d actually get that far in life to do so.
“Dunno, just thought I’d ask.” You lean against the window, propped up on your elbow as you watch the buildings pass by. Haechan reached over, grabbing your free hand and intertwined his fingers within yours. A lot of the time he would do this and each time it felt so comforting that silence would take over and all that could be heard was the music that was being washed out by the beating of your heart for him.
You must’ve zoned out because by the time you tuned back in, Haechan was parking the car at the front of the building and waiting for you to realize you had arrived. You got out the car, instantly smelling the salty ocean air beige meeting him around the front of the car and bring your hands up to straighten his bow tie. He smiles down at you, shoving his hands into his pockets as you brush off his tuxedo and fiddle with his hair. You give him a puzzled look, watching as he shook his head and mumbled something along the lines about ‘that was cute’.
The two of you entered the building, you turn to glance back at the beach that looked so relaxing before linking your arm with his. A few people come up to Haechan and you, introducing themselves and complementing the two of you as a couple. You stayed quiet for most of the time, not exactly knowing what to say and Haechan didn’t seem that interested in the people as well. You spot someone familiar, well he’s not exactly familiar, but you had seen him before. The boy with blue hair makes his way over, you choose to step aside and watch as he hugs Haechan as the two smile and pat one another on the back.
“Dude it’s been so long, what’s going on?” After hugging Haechan, the boy you try to remember that is Mark, straightens out his tux, but never falters his smile. “I‘be been busy with work and oh- I want you to meet someone.” To be honest, you weren’t really paying attention when Haechan started walking over to you. His warm hand lifted yours and the sweet look in his eyes made your cheeks feel warm. “This is my girlfriend y/n, y/n this is my best friend Mark.”
You go in to shake his hand, surprised when he pulled you into a hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you, y/n, lover boy over here has literally been talking nonstop about you.” You smile, watching as Haechan mouths to you that he’s going to find your seats. After mark pulls back, the two of you chat a little by the same area, occasionally looking around for Haechan to find him talking to who you assume is his friends. “You know, you’re really good for him.” Marks words had you almost taken aback, turning your head to see him smiling. “At first, I was pretty hesitant because when he told me he had a girlfriend I didn’t believe him, but I’ve seen how happy he’s been and I can’t wait for us to meet again like this, it’s been a pleasure to meet you.”
“Meet like this again?” Mark look slightly embarrassed that you didn’t catch on, but he was being called by his date for the evening so he started to make his way off.
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After the ceremony was over, everyone started to move towards the venue for the rest of the evening to conclude. A lot of people were left in tears, yourself included, by the vows exchanged between Johnny and his now wife.
When the two of you enter the venue, an overwhelming feeling washes over you and makes you grip his hand a little tighter. Haechan seems to notice, giving your hand a gentle squeeze as he guides you through the crowd of people who grouped around the entrance. Once he finds quieter space to pull you two, you were too spaced out to realize how close he had gotten. Both of his hands were on your shoulders, rubbing softly on the exposed skin to calm you.
“Hey, you’re gonna be okay, I’m right here y/n.” His voice brings you in from your thoughts, focusing on in the look in his eyes and how soft his features are in this moment. With a little nod, you let him know you’re with him and he smiles as you pull one of his hands from your shoulder and intertwine your fingers. He takes this opportunity to lead you towards your table where some of his friends you met earlier were seated. You immediately spot Karina and Yangyang at the mini bar just further down from the table and gave Yangyang a wave as he spots you and Haechan.
Haechan’s hand finds its way into the small of your back, immediately getting your attention as you turn your head towards him. “I’m gonna go get us something to drink.” He says, just loud enough to be heard over the music. You nod, standing behind your chair as you look over to the stage. Johnny walks up with the widest smile you’ve seen him sport since he kissed his bride and taps on the microphone a couple times. “Can I have everyone’s attention? Hello, everyone look up here.” Everyone goes quiet and the musics volume is lowered as Johnny looks over at the crowd. “I want to thank everyone coming out to celebrate me and my lovely wife coming together, this first dance will go out to all the new and older couples that are here, please join us in this dance to celebrate love that’s everlasting.”
Just as Johnny raises his glass, Haechan comes back and hands you your drink. You smiled as you took the glass from him and took a sip as the crowd raised theirs with Johnny. Just as Johnny gets off the stage, couples all start to make their way to the dance floor as Johnny gets to his wife and meets her in the middle. “We should go dance.” Surprised, you set your glass down and give Haechan a puzzled look. “Dance? But I don’t know how to dance and this is a couples dance.” He doesn’t take no for an answer, grabbing your hand and pulling you to follow him. “We are a couple.” You can’t exactly tell if he’s still going along with the fake dating charade for his friends or if the light in his eyes was genuine.
It doesn’t take much for you to give in, especially when the most romantic song Dandelions starts to play. Once he found a moveable spot on the floor, his hands circle around to your back and pull you in close. Your hands rest on his shoulders as you try not to make too much eye contact with him inches away from your face. “You’re so beautiful, y/n.” You could feel your cheeks heating up, trying to hide your face from him as you clear your throat. “Likewise, hyuck.”
“Just likewise?” When you turned your head to face his, he seemed a lot closer than you remembered and for some reason that terrified you and relaxed you at the same time. “I mean you are beautiful, very handsome and whatnot.” He laughs and the sound goes straight to your heart. You knew before you gotten to this point that falling for him would be so easy and so hard, but never did you expect for it to be this gentle. “I’m glad you think so, that alone gives me enough confidence to do what I’ve been dying to do.” You tilt your head at his sudden confession, watching as he leaned in and rested his head against yours.
You didn’t know what to do or even what to say, instead you opted to stay quiet and continue to hold him as the two of you danced. Somewhere between the end of Dandelions and the beginning of Golden Hour, your head was now resting against his chest and the two of you were lost in your own world. Haechan brought his hand up to your chin, gently lifting your head up. You blink at him, caught up in the music and the moment, not realizing what was about to happen nor did you want it to stop.
Haechan leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him further in. Your brain turned into mush and your body felt like it was on fire as the two of you were caught up in a slow and almost loving kiss on the dance floor. Haechan was the first to pull away, resting his forehead against yours as he catches his breath. You continued to sway with him, moving back and forth as you build up the courage to ask the question you’ve been dying for an answer to. “Will you be my girlfriend, like a real one this time?” Pulling back, you smile at Haechan who looks almost panicked.
“Because if not that’s okay too- like you don’t have to we can totally forg—“ You cut him off by pulling him back in for a kiss. He smiles against your lips, giving your hip a playful squeeze. Once the two of you pull back from one another’s lips, Haechan smiles which turns into a soft string of laughs. “What’s so funny, it’s not exactly polite to laugh after kissing a girl you know.” He tries to explain, failing to when he continues laughing. “Aren’t you glad you got a free trial?” You give him a puzzled look, watching as he steps back from you and spins around on his heel. “Free trial wedding style.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at the way he poorly described your fake relationship from the beginning, but he had a point. You look back and now thank the universe for bringing him into your life and can’t wait to see what it’ll be like from here on out. Who knows, maybe the next wedding you’ll be at will be yours.
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©︎𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍., 2022
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yumeka-sxf · 5 days
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I would have included this scan with my recent miscellaneous collab scans post, but I decided it deserves its own post, not just because it's one of the loveliest official Twiyor illustrations I've seen, but also because the story of how I got it is...interesting 😅
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This image is from the chara fine graph (which is basically a framed picture) that was included as a preorder bonus for buying the complete season 2 blu-ray set from a shop called Rakuten Books (together with badge pins of the same designs). I briefly mentioned it back in October of last year when season 2 was airing, along with preoder bonuses from other shops like Animate and Amazon. I only wanted to get this one though, so as per my usual process of trying to secure rare SxF goods, I made a note to myself to keep an eye out for when it released. Rakuten, which I believe is the main company for Rakuten Books, has their own proxy buying service, and as the season 2 blu-rays were released, I saw them appearing there. But as noted on their main site, the condition for them to send you the chara fine graph is that you must preorder all of the three season 2 blu-ray discs from them. Once you buy the third one, if they know that you've already bought the others, then they'll send you the preorder bonuses along with it.
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I was concerned that if I bought the discs via proxy, they wouldn't know that I bought all three and would cancel my order at the end! I would be devastated if that happened after waiting months and spending all that money on the complete set. I knew people would sell the chara fine graph second-hand as soon as it released, so I decided to wait until then and try to find it on Mercari.
So the months went by and eventually I found out that the final blu-ray volume of season 2 would release on April 17th, 2024. I made a mental note to check Mercari for it then, but unfortunately something else released around that same time...CODE: White in the US, which had its first screening on April 18th. Admittingly, I got distracted by the CODE: White release and had seen it twice by the following weekend. I did do some preliminary searching for the chara fine graph, but not with my usual refined search terms. It wasn't until the 21st that I finally sat down and really started searching for it. And while I did find a few listings, they had already been sold.
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I was hopeful that more people would sell it, since it had only been less than a week since release. But I guess I underestimated how popular this chara fine graph was because, after the initial five listings I saw that were sold within the span of a few days, none appeared after. I had, like, ten Mercari tabs open on my browser with different search terms that I refreshed many times a day, but nothing was showing up. I would groan whenever I'd see the preorder bonuses for the other shops like Animate and Amazon pop up, but not Rakuten Books. I did finally see one new listing of someone selling just the badge pins, but that was sold within a few minutes, which made me even more nervous. I would also be nervous getting up in the morning since I didn't want to see that a new listing was posted and sold while I was sleeping! Thankfully I work from home so it wasn't too much of an inconvenience for me to refresh the Mercari tabs on my personal computer whenever I had a minute. But as the days went by and I didn't see any new listings, I started getting mad at myself that if I had only started seriously searching for it right on release day, I would have had at least five chances to get it and could have saved myself this hassle. I even sent a message to Rakuten Books via their online form, asking (in Japanese) if they could somehow sell it to me and ship internationally, etc. But their response was pretty much what I expected...a polite "no."
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But then, on the evening of May 4th, I found a new listing and immediately bought it! What should have been a red flag though is that the person was selling it for $30 (with the badge pins included), while everyone else had been selling it from around $80-$100. The title they gave to the item was weird too; they simply called it "Spy Family" instead of "Spy Family Chara Fine Graph" or "Spy Family Rakuten Books Bonus" or something descriptive like that. But the seller had a decent rating so I didn't think there was a problem. After I got the email from Buyee (my proxy service) that they successfully bought the item, I thought I was all set. I closed out all my search tabs and went to bed feeling satisfied.
However, when I got up the next morning, my heart sank when I saw that about an hour after I had gone to bed, Buyee sent me another email saying that they refunded and cancelled my order! The reason they gave was "due to the convenience of the seller" 😫
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But what was most frustrating about this is that, when I checked the searches again, I saw that the same seller had relisted the item, with a higher price and more descriptive title, and it had been sold already. What probably happened is that the seller realized they made a mistake with the title and price of the listing and wanted to change it, which Mercari apparently allows them to do even after it had already been sold and paid for!
I was furious with Mercari for allowing this. The least they could do in a situation like this is give the original buyer, like, one day to buy the item again with the increased price before the seller is allowed to relist it again. I wanted to write to the seller and/or Mercari, but I wasn't able to make a Mercari account since it's restricted to Japan. I was also internally yelling at myself that if I had just started searching for it within a day or two of release instead of procrastinating, I could have avoided all this. So it was back to square one, but I wasn't going to give up! I opened up more search tabs with even more refined search terms. I also expanded to other proxy-supported shops like Surugaya and Yahoo Japan Auction. I even got my mom to help me, since she's often up in the middle of the night and can check in case anything is listed during that time while I'm asleep. I downloaded the Buyee app too so I could check listings even if I was away from my computer. With all this, I was hopeful I'd be able to buy it again, though it was more of a question of "when" than "if." With second-hand collectibles, you never know when they could pop up...I could find a new listing the next day, or not for a year or two. But I just kept up the searching, and finally, after another month went by, on June 3rd (June 4th in Japan, so technically Twiyor day 😁) I finally found it again...on Yahoo Japan Auction of all places!
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I had never bought via auction before so I was a bit nervous I'd get outbid or something. But I immediately clicked the "pay buyout price option" (which was only a few dollars more than the original price) and, thankfully, a short while later Buyee informed me that I successfully won the auction! But after what happened before, I was still paranoid that it could get canceled for whatever reason. But that didn't happen, and after waiting for shipping, it finally came~
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I always like to add a "lessons learned" in these situations, so I'd say the lesson here is don't be blasé or procrastinate when it comes to something you really want. And of course, being persistent pays off more than not!
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httpiastri · 1 year
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lucky charm? – al12
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arthur needs your support after the feature race in austria.
genre: fluff, comfort
pairing: gender neutral!reader x arthur leclerc (i think i used the female form of a french word, but that should be the only female mention)
warning: hmmmm none!
requested: yes!
author's note: hello hello! i had bigger expectations on myself for this but i haven't been able to write a lot these last few days soooo... anyways! please forgive me if i use the wrong terms when i wrote about the dams garage and drivers room and so on, i don't really know how it all works and where people are allowed to be haha! hope u enjoy<3
f2/f3 masterlist
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you feel yourself being unwillingly pulled out of your sweet sleep way too early for your liking. you could just as well just turn over and fall asleep again; the combination of the soft mattress and the fluffy hotel covers could lull anyone into a deep slumber. but just as you’re about to relax again, you hear the shuffle of socks against the carpet, followed by a thud and a quiet swear word.
you open your eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the morning light seeping in through the messily closed blinds, before they find arthur standing by the edge of the bed.
his eyes fix on you too, a guilty look spreading across his face. “did i wake you?” he asks. “i’m sorry, i dropped my phone…”
he reaches down to pick it up from the floor as you shake your head. “it’s fine,” you hum. “good morning, love.”
“good morning, ma chéri.” he flashes you a smile as he scoots over to you, pressing a kiss against your forehead.
you shut your eyes again. “why are you up so early?” you ask. “didn’t we say breakfast at seven?”
“it is seven,” arthur chuckles, but just as you’re about to sit up and scold him for not waking you up in time, he speaks again. “don’t get up, i’ve already had breakfast. you can continue sleeping.”
you frown with your eyes still closed. “what’s that supposed to mean? why-”
“i’ve been called in for an extra team meeting. they want me to meet them there in 30 minutes.”
your eyes open again, looking at your lover now sitting right by you on the bed. he’s got a hint of sadness in his eyes, and he feels another sting of guilt pass through his body.
he still looks as handsome as ever, though, and you can’t help but to let your hand cup his cheek. “when did you get up? you must be so tired.”
he shakes his head, a slight smile adorning his features; half due to the concern in your voice, half due to the love he can feel even in your touch. “we went to bed so early, i’ll be fine. you can still get another hour or so in, though.”
you pout. “i can’t sleep without you.”
arthur’s pretty laugh meets your ears. “you had no problem falling asleep while i was brushing my teeth last night, amour.” he takes your hand from his face, intertwining his fingers with yours. “but if you really don’t want to sleep any more, you could get some breakfast and then watch me get ready in the garage.”
you consider the options for a moment. “maybe i will,” you say, squeezing his hand once.
he takes your hand up to his mouth, placing a few sweet kisses to your knuckles. "my lucky charm." even more kisses. "i do unfortunately really need to go now. but i'll see you on the track?"
you nod, looking up into his eyes. "good luck, darling."
your boyfriend leans down towards you to meet your lips with his. both of you are still sleepy and it's evident in the kiss because it's lazy and slow. yet, it's filled with so so much love. when you feel him starting to pull away, you place a hand by the back of his neck to keep him close. he laughs against your skin before he manages to leave your lips – his neck muscles are apparently stronger than your hands.
"i'll see you soon again, okay?"
"mkay."
and after one last kiss, he's gone through the door, leaving you all alone in the big bed.
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arthur was, as usual, quite busy right before the race.
that meant that he didn't have a lot of time to spend with you, but by now you'd learned to enjoy spending time in the dams garage, despite how different it felt to the prema garages you visited last year. you followed arthur on the tv as much as you could during the race, while also having time to chat a little with the crew every now and then.
you found it funny how it seemed like arthur and his friend ollie bearman found each other even on the track, the two of them following their former teammate through the laps and even into the pit stops.
arthur came out on the track just before ollie, which made many of the dams workers cheer. but just a short while after they left the pits, it happened. one of the few things that was not allowed to happen.
in one of the turns, not even one minute later, one of his tires flew off the car.
arthur couldn't have done anything to stop it or make the situation better. it was in no way his fault, and yet, it had all of the worst consequences for him.
thankfully, there was no crash and the tire didn't hit another driver, so it wasn't really a dangerous incident. but when arthur gets up out of the car and you can tell he's uninjured, you still let out a thankful breath you didn't know you were holding. you know this is awful, as it is any time he's forced to retire out of a race, but at least he isn't physically hurt, which was the most important to you.
a couple of minutes later, arthur arrives back in the garage, where he receives a bunch of pats on the backs and compassionate looks from team members. you are still sat on a chair a bit further into the garage, wanting to give him some space instead of approaching him, but you watch his every move carefully. his dark eyes stay aimed on the floor and he doesn't give out much more than small nods to the people trying to talk to him. he's holding his helmet in one hand, his balaclava still on and helping cover what you assumed was a regretful look.
you were so sure he wouldn't notice you, but his eyes land on you just as his hand reaches for the door to his driver's room. you kind of expect him to give you some kind of reaction. a smile, a nod, anything. but just like to everyone else, he looks away.
as he's gone through the door, you feel some kind of disappointment in the pit of your stomach. you know it's not personal, but it still pains a little to think about him treating you just like everyone else.
you wait until the race is over and the staff is busy celebrating the other dams driver's podium before making your way towards the door. after knocking on it a few times, you can hear his voice from the inside, muttering something about leaving him alone.
"arthur, can i come in?" you ask, ignoring his request.
when he hears that it's your voice seeping through the cracks of the door, he's instantly on his feet, making his way to you.
when he opens the door, you're met by an exhausted face. the balaclava is off now, lines on his face still showing where the seams had been pressing for the long race. he steps aside to let you into the room and then closes the door behind you. he sits down on the couch and you take a seat right next to him, eyes never leaving his sad ones. he's looking everywhere but at you, though, feeling way too sensitive to take in the way that you were looking at him. with so much comfort, support, love.
"i'm really sorry," you say, voice low. "that sucked."
he nods, eyes moving to look down at his feet as he leans his elbows onto his knees. "shit happens."
you stop for a moment but then you decide to be brave, putting a hand on his shoulder. when he doesn't shrug it off, you begin stroking over his white fireproof shirt with your thumb, hoping to comfort him even the slightest.
"i just... felt like the pace was good, you know?" you nod, even though he isn't looking. "i was ahead of ollie, and he ended up in p5..." your hand moves to the back of his neck, softly rubbing up and down his skin. "i don't know, i just feel like i could've scored some points too."
"yeah, definitely," you hum at him. "you did really well, love."
one of his hands comes up to wipe over his face, before he finally turns to look at you. "thank you." a slight smile takes over your lips. "and thank you for being here."
"of course. anything for you, mon amour."
arthur leans towards you, molding his lips against yours. the kiss is a lot different than how he kissed you earlier this morning; it's soothing, tender, gentle. yet, it's filled with just as much love.
"sorry i wasn't your lucky charm like you said i am," you tell him once you pull away, faces still close enough to feel his breath on your lips.
his mouth curls into a smile before he kisses you again. "don't worry," he moves to give you a couple of pecks along your jawline. "i'll buy a new charm since having you around doesn't work."
you gasp, slapping his chest as a big, teasing grin lightens up his face. "hey!"
and when his wholehearted laughter fills the room, you smile, despite his insult just moments earlier. you smile because you know it's all going to be fine; you smile because after his next race, he will be smiling too.
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somnambulic-thing · 8 months
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wrong number 2.2k
A/N: Just had an idea for a fic I will very probably never write in a fully flashed out way because I have a million wips and no attention span and no deisre to have more wips but don't want to fully let this idea go to waste so here it goes in very shortened form and probably very messy and rough.
Eddie x afab!reader || imagine them in their early/mid 30s
cw: mental health themes, reader has a broken leg, angsty shit, fluff, happy end
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You moved cities to have a fresh start after a rough time came to an even rougher but long overdue end. You know nobody here, a clean slate to draw new blueprints on.
Two weeks in and despite your grumpy hermit ways, you are friendly with some of your neighbours already. They are nice, helpful people which is a win you take like it was a million bucks.
Three weeks in, you fall down a flight of stairs, break your leg and bump your head. Brilliant.
Back from the ER you sink into your bed, looking at still unpacked boxes and biting back bitter tears of frustration when your phone beeps. You eye it suspiciously, anxious your past might be knocking already, bloodhounds of days past sniffing your weakend state and their chance to inflict a little more pain.
You figure you're overracting, turn on the sceen and find a message from an unknown number.
[Hey Rick. Sorry to drop this on you on such short notice, but I won't make it to your get-home-from-prison party tonight. I can swing by next week with a six-pack or something. You have a good time, yeah? I'll explain when we see each other.]
[Hey there. I'm afraid you got the wrong number. I don't know any Ricks. But gratulations to him from me for getting out of prison, when you get a chance. Unless he's a serial killer or something comparable. Then I want you to run.]
[Well, shit. Sorry.]
And then after a few seconds: [I get back to you in case I need a place to hide.]
And somehow this sparks a conversation that lasts for hours. His name is Eddie, you learn after some minutes of back and forth which are unsuspectedly remarkably funny. But he's surprisingly also really concerned about your leg and your mild concussion and the fact that you mentioned you will give yourself one day of rest and then try to catch up on and get as much stuff done as you can with your cast and crutches. Luckily you can work from home, you say. Eddie isn't sure how he feels about that.
He makes you swear you take it easy. He asks if there are people that can take care of you and you lie to that concerned stranger who is the first person to make you laugh out loud in a too long time. You tell him your friends are taking turns to look after you. Why lie to a stranger? It's complicated... He keeps checking in, keeps chatting with you about all kinds of things all day long no matter what he has to do: Work, band practice, DnD, being out with friends or his uncle, Eddie keeps lighting up your phone all day long. The later the day, the deeper your conversations and you soon get the feeling that Eddie isn't all just fun and jokes but when you actually try to poke softly, he evades you.
[When you feel better and still are interested in my bullshit, I'll share. Promise.]
Okay, fine. Why would he want to trust you with his private struggles? He's just a stranger, with friends and an support system, who probably will lose interest to invest his time into you sooner than he himself is expecting. Which is fine... really... would be fine if he wasn't really funny... and interesting with a hundred interests and hobbies... and so weird and oddly caring... and living on the other side of the country.
But four days in and you wake up with a text from him, asking you if you finally could sleep a little better than the days before.
And then at 3am and endless hours of exchanging messages filled with thoughs and musings and dreams, he offers to send you a copy of a book he is sure you would enjoy. That he really needs... you to read for important reasons. One of them is to remedy the boredom inflicted by bedrest in those hours Eddie is busy and can't entertain you.
You give him your address almost without second thought, despite your mind telling you to maybe think about it first...
You had avoided anything outside of texts - no pictures, no calls - and he hadn't pressed the matter by himself. Which was a relief because you're not sure if you could witstand the temptation if he were to offer.
Getting more pieces of him... It just felt too dangerous. But a book was just a book, right?
You rely on your 72 year old neighbour for food and other errands and chores around your place. Mrs P is such a sweet old lady eager to help as much as she can, bending over backwards for you. So you naturally try to bother her only when it's really dire.
Seven days in and you see the postman stuff a small parcel into your mailbox. You hurry to snatch your crutches, not even thinking about what you are doing and you limp down the six stories to your mailbox way too fast. Your head is not happy and neither is your leg and it takes you and your ego ages and all your strength to get back up to your apartment.
You fall into your bed, exhausted, sweaty and in pain and crying in frustration and you fall asleep on the package from Eddie before you can even think of opening it.
Your phone rings and wakes you up when it's already pitch black outside. You've slept most of the day away.
Answering the phone on autopilot, still half asleep you don't check the name on the screen.
"Yeah?" you drawl.
"Jesus fucking Christ you're alive."
"What--? I--"
"I haven't heard from you in hours and your messages sounded so antsy and sad all day and I had a bad feeling somehow. Are you ok? Did I wake you?"
"Eddie?"
"Yeah, sweetheart. Hi, that's my voice. Anxious edition."
You're overwhelmed. Finding no words while his words dig deep trenches of longing into your brain which are hard to get out of...
"You still there?"
"Uh-hn, yeah..."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. I just woke up, like you said. That's my voice. Sleepy edition."
And then he laughs. Oh god, what a sweet sweet sound.
"Hmm, sorry I just was really worried here..."
You tell Eddie there is nothing to worry about but that he's very sweet and he asks you if you have a little time to chat, tells you he likes your voice, likes it a lot and of course you have time but something weighs on you and the flutter of bats in your stomach.
You can't say if it's the aftershock of your staircase ordeal or the fact that your wonderful stranger keeps getting more and more real and more and more precious or a mixture of both. Suddenly there is silence on the other end of the line.
"Eddie? You still there?"
"Something's off."
You shuffle and feel the parcel poke into your ribs. You dig it out from under you, face heating up from two sources - the gift and his tone - and you start to fumble the parcel open.
"I'm sorry--"
"Don't be. I just want to help. Let me help."
You finally fully unwrap the book. It's a well loved worn paperback copy. You run your fingertips over every wrinkles and cracks in the cover. Your voice sounds dazed to your own ears when you speak.
"I got your book..."
"Oh. Okay, yeah, great. And?"
You notice the excitement in his voice, notice that it matches your heartbeat when you open the book and find it full of notes. On some pages the margines are completly filled with Eddie's toughts.
"I just unwrapped it, like, ten seconds ago."
"Oh."
"I didn't realize you would send me... such a personal thing... looks like a diary..."
"Kinda is. Too weird?"
You stare at his handwriting which is somewhat of an elegant scratch and all those little sketches and something inside you gives way.
"I'm not okay..."
"I know. Tell me?"
You tell him that you lied, that there were no friends despite your eldery neighbor looking after you and you tell him about your little ordeal this afternon and about feeling tired and lonely and scared and starved for joy and he listens through it all.
Now it will be too much, you think but then you look at the book in your lap and keep talking. When you're done, there is silence on the other end.
"You still there."
"Processing."
"Mad?"
"Nope."
"Too much?"
"For me?" He chuckles. It's bitter and wonderful. "Sweetheart, it's not me who's dealing with all that shit right now. If you can handle living it, I can handle listening to it..."
"I hear you swallowing a but."
"But I know what you're talking about..."
You talk a little longer and despite him saying everything is alright, something is different. He seems distant, distracted, not fully with you. You keep leafing through that book, gently tracing the lines that are proof of his existance, marks he left in the world, preparing for him to ask you to send it back as soon as you can. You prepare for him to realize this was a mistake. A charity case gone wrong.
Eventually you get tired and a headache and he tells you to go rest, voice soft and deep and you're preparing for this to be the last time you'll hear it.
"Sleep well, yeah?"
No more sweetheart.
"I will. You too."
"See you tomorrow."
"Bye."
You have a restless night and wake up to a message from him.
[Good Morning. How did you sleep?]
You smile, feeling stupid, like you overreacted and you exchange some messages but they are short and flat and there is still no sweetheart. Around noon, your phone has gone silent. Inside your chest, the echoes of disapointment are deafening.
You bury yourself in his book, and it feels like you're having a conversation with him through his notes for they are like direct replies to your own thoughts about the story unfolding. You can't put it down, probably look up from it for the first time in hours late in the evening when you're full on crying, holding the book away from you to not get tears or snot on it.
And then there is a knock at your door. Three sharp raps. Quick.
And you think it must be Mrs P with your groceries, you feel guilty that she has to carry all the stuff upstairs while her knee is bothering her. You make your way out of bed, get your crutch and slowly move towards the door.
"Coming!"
You realize you still have the book in your hand and you wedge it under your arm to open your door and--
"Hi."
Your heart is racing as your mind tries to keep up with what is happening. You consider pinching yourself, consider reaching out to touch him, see if he's made of flesh and blood or delirium, feel the dip of a frown-made crease betwen his brows under your fingertips, the fine stubble on his cheeks under the slide of your thumb.
"That's my face. Worried edition... why are you crying?"
You lean against the crutch, wipe at your cheeks with one hand, dry your fingers on your shirt and pluck the book from under your arm, holding it up wordlessly. Eddie's face lights up in a big, wide, gorgeous smile. Now there are dimples you want to explore. Suddenly the floor is moving.
"Easy, easy." Warm hands steady you. You hear the door fall close behind you and then it finally dawns on you.
The dreamy guy from inside your phone is inside your flat.
He's holding you steady by your shoulders on outstreched arms, searching your face with big, incredibly dark eyes.
God he's fucking beautiful.
"You gonna faint, beautiful?"
You shake your head. That's all you can do.
"I'm going to use your very understandable shock to ramble for a moment, okay? Okay. The obvious first. What the fuck am I doing here without invitation? Offering you my help. I rearranged all my shit and I can stay for two weeks, if you like. I have a hotel room booked and ready if you don't want me to stay the nights. Next: Why didn't I ask on the phone first? Because I kinda feared you would just say no and be all tough and stupid about needing help. I am way more charming in person and I was counting on me actually being here, a real guy, showing you that I mean it, would make it easier to convince you... Am I pushy? Yeah. I guess I am. But... if you really want me to piss off again, I will piss off. We pretend that I was just getting back my book because you're not fit to get to the post office right now and I'll never bother you again... but I could stay and make you dinner while you tell me which part of the book made you cry, decide over my fate when you're fed and calmed down? I left a whole load of food with your neighbor downstairs. Nice lady. Thinks you're a stubborn thing, by the way."
You swallow around something enourmous and try your vocal cords on something simple.
"Hi."
He tilts his head, smiles softly.
"Hey sweetheart."
You inhale deeply. Your exhale either carries bravery or invites doom but suddenly you're really, really hungry...
"You're really here."
"Yeah, shit, I know... to be honest, my knees are really wobbly right now?"
"You're crazy."
"Hmm, totally... bad case... started about a week ago..."
And there you see it. He's nervous too. That finally makes him real.
"So," you say, reaching out to cup his cheek, your touch coaxing out those dimples again. "What's for dinner then?"
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cassandrasimplex · 8 months
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Listen, when I say, as an abuse survivor, that Astarion's storyline is written with care, delicacy, and profound understanding: Since I completed it a few days ago, which I found incredibly cathartic and fulfilling due to points of commonality with the nature and causes of my CPTSD, I've been sleeping 7-8 hours a night straight through (instead of 3-5 at a time), my resting heart rate has dropped almost 10 beats per minute, I've had zero nightmares (based not just on what I remember but also on how much I move and talk in my sleep), and my fitness tracker wants to know what I've been doing different lately and whether I can keep it up.
I don't expect this change to be permanent or even long-lasting, but not even months of therapy at a time have ever had a positive effect so strong my tracker picked up on it. Not even when I was in crisis mode and only able to sleep 2 or 3 hours a day was therapy able to improve my sleep and my well-being so immediately. Astarion's storyline from finding Cazador's prisoners to the final confrontation, which took me a bit over an hour, did. If you want to count all the narrative build-up to that climax that gave it meaning, call it six weeks' investment for such a dramatic improvement.
The idea that trauma-aware roleplay can help people with PTSD and especially CPTSD find short-term peace and even a long-term improvement in overall functioning and mental health isn't new to me. I stumbled across it on my own, unguided, 30+ years ago. It's a bit newer to most therapists, but it's an approach used in experiential therapy and some related strategies and had been studied for much longer before its incorporation in such toolkits. But BG3 isn't being sold as therapy; it's being sold as a fun video game to play in one's free time.
The thing about CPTSD and recovery from abuse in general is that you have to practice new ways of reacting to the world. Therapies like cognitive behavior therapy focus on helping the patient replace old, maladaptive patterns of thinking that helped them survive a traumatic situation but hinder functioning in safer environments with intentionally-created ones that would have been too dangerous to practice in the traumatic environment but are healthier and more supportive outside it. These patterns have to be practiced, though; it's not enough to just correct yourself once with a more affirming statement and wait for results. You have to do it over and over until it becomes your new default. And results matter. If practicing the new behavior or thought results in the kind of negative outcome it would have prompted in the original abusive situation, the effect is that the old, maladaptive pattern is reinforced instead: "See? I knew acting that way would be too dangerous. I knew thinking that way would just be lying to myself. I already know what's best. The way I've always behaved in order to survive is what serves to keep me safe."
Which is why Astarion's storyline is both so effective and so astonishingly well done. Over and over, you get the chance to reassure him that your friendship is not merely a set of opportunistic transactions, that you don't want to control him, that you see him as a person rather than a puppet or a tool, that he can refuse to manage your feelings for you or even outright hurt your feelings without being "punished" for it. You can comment out loud to him when you catch him being manipulative and tell him that's not how your friendship works while still accepting and supporting him as a person, as a friend. You can make your friendship with him an environment completely opposite in nature to his relationship with his abuser. You can teach him -- and, if you need it, yourself -- what a safe environment looks like. And you can teach him that his abuser's behavior was successful in an environment created specifically to reserve all power for the abuser, but doesn't serve as well outside that situation, to encourage him to find healthier ways of dealing with the world than the ones that were modelled for him within that trauma. (Am I projecting? Of course I'm projecting; that's precisely what makes roleplay such an effective tool. It's a natural human tendency that can be used to advantage.)
And somewhere in your psyche, if you're a person who needs to hear all that as much as Astarion does, your mind is taking note: "How I thought the whole world works was wrong. Only that one little part of the world worked that way. The world is much bigger than the limited environment that hurt me. There are better ways to live and be." The parts of the brain where trauma plants its deepest roots can't tell the difference between play and reality, between past and present. They can't tell the difference between "I can make a safer environment for this person in front of me" and "I can go back in time and make a safer environment for the person I used to be." (That's why so many abuse survivors feel compelled to help other abuse survivors -- empathy, yes, and identification, but on a deeper level than that; we try to become the person who never showed up to help us.)
And if "this person in front of me" happens to be a fictional character, well, it can't really tell the difference between fiction and reality either -- especially when the fiction has a visible face and an audible voice and convincing expression in both.
I'm not in the slightest saying, "Go out and buy BG3 to fix yourself!" because using roleplay as therapy is far too highly personal and variable to expect consistent results from a script. There might be people whose trauma is reinforced by the same things that spoke so soothingly to mine. Larian is a video game company, not a therapist. But I can't get over the way a video game company for fuck's sake has created such a sensitive, tender, supportive story that it can even accidentally function this way. They didn't have to go so hard. They didn't have to lean so far into empathy. They didn't have to bring so much realism into it. They could have just told an interesting story. They did tell an interesting story -- but someone here decided they needed to tell it so well, so powerfully, that they were going to need to know exactly what living through events like those would do to a person, and how a friend would have to act to support that person in working toward happiness and health.
Well fucking done, Larian. Extremely well fucking done.
And although I can't reasonably expect the current effects to last, I can carry something lasting from here on; I can add "What would I say to Astarion right now?" to the list of questions I ask myself when triggered, when I realize I'm experiencing an implicit flashback. What would I say to Astarion? What would I say to a friend? What would I say to someone I care about who's been through the same things I have? What would I say to myself if I thought I deserved to be happy and free?
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Could I have something for eyeless jack with an s/o who's a night owl and has a chronically FUCKED up sleep cycle
I don't know if this is what you were looking for, but I wanted to stay true to Jack's opinions and general character
Jack himself is mostly nocturnal, so on one side, this does give you a lot more time to spend with him each day, which he appreciates because he loves you and he tries to spend as much time with you as he can each day. However, on the other side, he greatly worries for your health and well-being, especially speaking as a doctor, he wants you to take care of yourself, and skipping out on sleep every day is not the way to go about that. Due to this, Jack ends up trying to persuade you into a much better sleep schedule most of the time.
Jack will start with a direct approach first; asking for you to kindly and helpfully work with him so he can try and get you on track to a better sleep schedule. He would greatly prefer that you at least give an honest attempt at trying to improve your sleep schedule, as it would greatly upset him if you continue not trying to improve it at all, and could be a deal breaker in the long run unless you essentially just shift your entire existence to just be nocturnal like him because he doesn't want to date someone that doesn't care about their health. If you do agree to try and work with him, then Jack will be quite happy, and even if you don't make immediate progress, he's just happy to work with you to try to get better. Baby steps, one at a time is all that matters to him. 
Jack will start by trying to get your sleep schedule just a bit better. If you're staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning each night, he starts gradually bumping you back to 2, and then 1, and then 12, although he could handle 1 just fine if you can get there. The other thing is, he'd start getting you up earlier. Jack goes to bed about 8:30-9:30 each day, and so he would wake you up before he goes to bed every morning. He tries to regulate your schedule so your body can get more used to that. Although, of course, he always allows you to sleep in on days off or weekends, that way you are still getting a bunch of rest you might miss out on. He just does little things, like no devices 30 minutes to an hour before bed, lights off or dimmed, and just laying in there with you, cuddling up with you and talking with you as you get drowsy. If you enjoy aromatherapy, he'll introduce you to some products he likes for that, or if you would like to try out melatonin for just a couple of months to see how that treats you, he'll help you get some of that too (although he closely monitors your intake on that so you don't take too much, as it's meant to be taken short term). Jack is not expecting immediate results. He just wants you to be more mindful of your body and your health, and even if you can only get into bed an extra hour, an hour and a half earlier than you were, that's still progress and it makes him happy. He loves you dearly, and as happy as it would make him have your company all night, he knows that humans can't do things like that as it's not healthy, and as a doctor, it's something he doesn't want to encourage. 
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chronicbeans · 2 months
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Dead Plate (Haunted AU) x Reader (Part 1)
Training time!
Prologue, Part 1
TW: None
You wake up in a cold sweat. You don't remember it, but you are pretty sure you had a nightmare of some kind. You look to your clock, seeing that it's 3 in the morning. You sigh shakily, knowing that you don't have any time to try to go back to sleep. You beat your alarm by a whole hour, but you know that if you fall asleep again, you'd probably sleep through it.
You quickly take a small shower, before having some cheap cereal for breakfast. Then, you brush your hair and put on a nice outfit. You may not have the best first impression of your boss, but you want to make a good first impression on him! Plus, you don't have your uniform, yet... so, you might as well dress nice to give yourself some confidence.
After getting dressed, you hear the harsh noise of your alarm, screaming at you that it's 4. Sighing in disdain, you realize that you're stuck waiting for thirty minutes with nothing to do. You've already gone through your morning routine... though, you should set your alarm for 3:30 next time, since it took you longer than expected.
Looking out your window, you see that it's still dark out, as to be expected. It's not only early in the morning, but it's also winter... Man, you really don't like driving in the winter. Screw it, you're heading to work early, just so you don't have to spend thirty minutes dreading the drive. You put on a light coat, which is your only coat, then head to your car.
You arrive around 4:30, only for you to be hit with the sudden realization that you might've arrived too early. What if the doors are still locked? Heading out of your car, you march on up to the doors of La Gueule De Saturne, ready to knock on the doors-
You yelp, startled as they open before you can even knock on them. Looking up, you see a ghostly pale man with black hair and tired eyes. He looks expressionless, or as close as you've seen to expressionless on somebody before, at least. His eyes are locked onto you, as he speaks in a familiar voice.
"You're rather early... You must be the new waiter I hired." "Oh! Um... yes! I'm (Y/N) (L/N)." "Come in, then. Since you're early, we can start your training early." Damn it. You hoped he'd give you some time to rest... then again, this is a job. You follow him inside, looking around the main area.
It looks very lavish, if not a bit bleak. Greys, beiges, and white make the main colors of the dining area, with splashes of red velvet here and there. There's four tables with two seats each, two booths with four seats, and... two tables with one seat? You've never seen any restaurants with tables for one, before. Maybe a few cafés, but not full-blown restaurants.
Suddenly, Vincent points to a wall of the dining room, speaking in a slightly stern voice. "There is the partition window. When customers orders are ready, they'll be set on the counter there. Grab them and serve them to the correct guests." You follow where he's pointing, quickly spotting the partition window. Before you can comment on it, he points to the register. Wait... you're going to be working everything out front, aren't you?! You didn't sigh up for this!
"You're going to also seat the guests, as well as collect the money they pay for there meals. You'll earn tips. Make sure the customers like you, because they'll tip you higher. That, and you're the only waiter here." You stammer a bit at that, looking more than a little shocked. You don't argue, though. You want this job... You need this job. You aren't going to risk it. "Alright, Chef Charbonneau."
You turns to face you, again... He then crosses his arms, looking at you with a serious expression. "You better be good at your job. You are already making a better impression than the last waiter, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to let me down. I'm very strict, and have high standards."
You nod, looking back to him. There's an awkward silence, before he sighs and looks to the side. "You know you can talk to me, right? I may be strict, but I'm not a drill sergeant." You quickly nod, again, stammering. "Oh, yes! I just uh... I'm not the best at making conversation." He chuckles halfheartedly, before sighing.
Smiling, you are about to continue, before he cuts you off. "If you need anything, I'll be in the kitchen. The doors to the kitchen are over there." Vincent then points behind him, before continuing. "You can talk to me whenever you need something."
You look to the kitchen doors... seeing a small tuft of orange hair peeking from behind the circular window. It's probably one of the chefs. You look back to Vincent, nodding again. "Alright, Chef Charbonneau. What should I do while I wait for the bistro to open?"
His dark, tired eyes trail up to a clock nearby, causing your own (E/C) ones to follow. It's 5, now, so you have an hour. "Familiarize yourself with this room until then. I'm going to go get you your uniform." "Yes, Chef Charbonneau!" Then, the strange chef disappears into the kitchen.
You get to work, walking around the dining area and observing everything. There's a gray carpet, as well as a red one by the check-in area... this is actually pretty boring. You're basically just walking in circles around the room. The most exciting thing is when you saw a young lady walk by the window outside.
You hear the door to the kitchen open, as a lesser chef walks over to you and hands you your waiter's outfit. They then rush you to a restroom to get changed, handing you a bag to put your clothes into after you get the uniform on.
You walk out back to the dining room right in time to start working. 6 o'clock has hit. You see a few guests come in, finally giving you something to do. Quickly running over, you sit them down at a table for four. Writing down their requests on a notepad, you walk over to the partition window and hand the kitchen their orders.
As you do so, you notice something peculiar... none of the cooks have orange, or even ginger hair. They all have dark hair, with one person having blonde hair. That, and Vincent is staring at you like a hawk. You try to pay no mind to it... maybe the guy with orange hair is just out of view from the window? Either way, it's not important. You have to continue work.
The rest of the day goes by without any problems. Collecting your tips, you count them out to being around a hundred or so dollars. You help with closing, sweeping the floors and cleaning the tables, before looking to Vincent as you leave. "Have a nice night, Chef Charbonneau."
He looks to you, looking slightly shocked, like you had knocked him out of some odd daze. He slowly nods, before waving in return. "You, as well. Be sure to get here on time, tomorrow." "I got here early, so I'm sure I'll be on time, tomorrow." "The last waiter came in late on his second day... Just be on time." "... Okay..." That man is weird.
You nod in acknowledgement, then begin walking to the exit. The day has ended, and quite honestly, you need some rest... That, and you want to get to sleep early, just to spite you boss by being early two days in a row.
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garbbitch · 2 months
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you stood me up!
jb x reader
angst, fluff
julien was working on her next album, spending long hours at the studio and working. you were as supportive as you could’ve been. she was working a lot and getting a lot more pissy a lot more often. like, you guys had fought a lot in the last month after being together for a few years.
[flashback]
one night she came from home from the studio but you were still at work, she knew you were gonna be, she knew that you were gonna be later than usual. that morning you guys agreed that she was gonna cook dinner to make everyone’s life a little easier. except when she got home that day, she got in bed, and just went to sleep.
you came in from work exceptionally tired from a long boring meeting with the board of directors of your company. when you came in and saw there was no sign of anything being done in the kitchen you started to worry.
“julien? are you home?” you called as you took off your shoes by the door. you didn’t even see her usual converse by the door.
she said nothing. you huffed and walked to your bedroom where you saw julien laying on the bed asleep. you knew she was working hard and honestly felt bad for her. you gently woke her up.
“baby, are you alright?” you asked gently as your stroked her hair.
“fuck— i was supposed to cook. i’m sorry.” she said as she started to get up. you didn’t wanna stress her more than necessary so you offered to help her cook. she declined and ran to the kitchen. you shrugged it off before changing into some comfier clothes before joining her in the kitchen.
“it’s not like you to get in bed so early, are you feeling ok?” you asked as you made yourself some tea to soothe your lingering headache from work.
“i’m fine.” she said in a tone that made you do a double take. you could tell she wasn’t in the best mood.
“well, if you had told me you were too tired i would’ve picked up takeout or something.” you said gently, not wanting to stir the pot any further.
“fuck—“ she said softly, “i can’t keep you updated on my every fucking emotion yn.” she snapped. you were taken aback by her words.
“woah, i didn’t say—“ you started.
“you were gonna.” she cut you off. you eyed her as she cooked, she didn’t face you.
“no i wasn’t, julien.” you said back, she turned off the burner and went back into your shared bedroom, slamming the door. what the fuck just happened? you stood there in shock for a moment. you looked at the half cooked food and you decide to let her think about whatever was causing her bad mood and finish cooking yourself.
[end of flashback]
lately, you guys had a lot of little petty arguments. about walking the dogs, what kind of food they were eating, your work schedule. you name it yall had a petty argument about it. lucy had told you guys you needed a date night after hearing yall fight one too many times. you guys liked the idea and settled for a night the two of you weren’t working.
it was a monday night, you both knew it was a weird night to go out but you figured any restaurants would be less crowded.
you got home early, around 4:30 and you got ready for your date that was supposed to be at 6. she still hadn’t got home at 5 and you sent her a text.
yn: hey baby, you leaving work soon?
she didn’t respond till 5:45.
jb: yeah, something is running later than expected, take an uber there. i’ll be there soon.
you got to the restaurant at 6:10 due to the uber being later than you expected. you waited outside the restaurant for her. you waited and waited and waited.
you texted her at 6:15.
yn: are you almost here?
you called her at 6:20. she didn’t answer, you started to realize she wasn’t coming. you waited another 10 minutes and you called her again at 6:30. you got no response.
yn: i’m going home.
julien saw that final text and felt her stomach drop to her toes. she knew she fucked up, but there was a specific sound she was trying to get in the studio and nothing was working the way she wanted it to. she knew she fucked up.
at home you took off your makeup, took off your cute clothes and threw your new lingerie you bought for tonight in the closet somewhere. you put on a hoodie that was no doubt hers and a pair of shorts, you curled up on the couch with some ice cream and watched crappy tv.
around 6:50 you heard the door open behind you. you didn’t turn around to see who it was. you knew it was julien, you could tell by the way the floor creaked under her step.
“baby— i’m so sorry. i fucked up bad.” she said gently as she walked over to the couch.
you turned to face her, your makeup smudged and what mascara you couldn’t get off running down your cheeks.
“baby— talk to me.” she pleaded with you. you sighed and placed the ice cream on the coffee table.
“you stood me up, jb.” you said softly, sounding hurt. it wasn’t so much the fact that she stood you up, it was all the constant arguing that was happening lately combined with the getting stood up.
“i know baby— and i’m sorry.” she said, she sat down on the couch, she was trying to get on your level. you met her gaze.
“do you still love me?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper. her face fell as she realized how badly she fucked up.
“of course i do.” she said gently, she moved a hand to cup your cheek. “i know i’ve been very tense lately and i took it out on you a lot. and i’m sorry. but i still love you so so so much.” she said as she stroked your cheek.
“you’ve been fighting with me all the time and then when we finally have time to be together you leave me stranded.” you said, feeling fed up. “do you do that to the people you love? would you do that to lucy and phoebe?” you accused. she was dumbfounded by your words.
“no- i-i wouldn’t. but they also understand my job. you don’t.” she said back to you, you were both tense now.
“what, cause i can’t afford custom gucci suits i don’t ‘get’ you? has it ever occurred to you that maybe you don’t get me?” you snapped. you started to walk away. she gently grabbed your wrist to stop you.
“what do you even mean by that?” she asked you.
“you’ve never worked a real job in your life, jb, c’mon. you don’t get me, just like i could never get you. guess we should just fuckin break up, right?” you snapped again, taking your wrist from her grasp. she opened her mouth like she was gonna say something but closed it.
“yn, baby, i fucked up but, it’s not worth ending what we have. and you do get me. better than anyone. i shouldn’t have said that.” she said gently.
“what exactly do we have?” you snapped, you were really tired of all of the fighting. “cause lately, all we have are arguments, julien.” you said before she could answer.
“no we don’t.” she said, trying to plead with you.
“oh really? what happened when i had to work late? you picked a fight about me asking how you were doing.. and when i fed the dogs a different food you basically called me dumb. hell, you know it’s bad when lucy is trying to tell us we need to go on a date night to relieve some tension.” you spoke quickly. she knew you were right.
she sighed. “your right.” she said softly sounding defeated. “but i love you so much baby, even if i haven’t shown it lately. i really am sorry i’ve been so terrible lately.” she spoke gently and stepped a little closer to you.
you shook your head. “i don’t like feeling like i need to walk around on eggshells julien.” it dawned on you why she was acting this way, “did you stop taking your meds?” you asked gently. her blood ran cold.
“n-no i uh— i can explain” she stuttered.
“oh my god— julien, you can’t just do that.” you sighed, you wanted to still be angry with her but you knew that her attitude had a reason, and a good one at that. “you can’t go off your meds, especially when you’re working so much.” you said gently.
“i’m just trying to write good music.” she admitted softly. you shook your head.
“julien, you and i both know that’s not how that works.” you said gently, she started to protest. “ah ah— tell me, have you written anything you like since you stopped taking it?” you asked.
“i- no.” she said sounding defeated.
“please go back to taking them. please.” you said gently.
“fine.” she said softly. “can i she a hug from my favorite girl?” she asked gently as she held her arms open.
you hugged her tightly. “i’m sorry i stood you up baby. let’s try again, yeah?” she asked gently as she stroked your back.
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aurae-rori · 6 days
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hi friend, i am literally so glad i've found another dr. ratio enjoyer! you're literally such a great writer and I love your character analyses.
anyways, my curiosity is peaked, how is children of the city dr. ratio core?
First of all, thank you so much - haha, I'm glad that you enjoy my analyses and writings. I'm so sorry that it took me this long to get back to you - I had a few things to take care of, but I'm going to do a full analysis in your honour!
Analysis under the cut, because it gets really long. :)
"Sleep for a total of 800 hours per day And then drink a liter of milk Warm-up before you go play Only eat, or write Or pull the trigger with your right hand Only thing that's left Is to work on following commands"
I'm totally not projecting my gifted child trauma here, nuh uh... Anyway, my personal HC for Ratio is that his child might have felt monotonous being in classes that he was already too "intelligent" for. Learning things at a quicker pace than other children, absorbing knowledge up like a sponge - sure, the praise is nice, but after awhile, especially when you get to higher levels, intelligence isn't enough to carry you. You have to put diligence, effort, blood sweat and tears into what you're studying for, especially if you want to make a change, like how Dr. Ratio wanted to. It. must have gotten lonely, getting up only to do more researcher, eating only to go back to work. Following a schedule is wonderful, and he would have enjoyed the routine, but after being isolated from other people along with that, it might have made him feel subhuman or less than human for only being there for the studying of more knowledge. Eat, study, work, repeat. This is more of a personal HC rather than something canon, though. :)
"By the time you realize You'll be restrained to a desk And with your dreams on the floor, you comply Eyes chained to the test In 30 minutes, find a groom or bride Bonus if brunette In 90 hours, spill their insides Paint your room picturesque"
I feel like the prospect of romance is pushed onto children at a very young age - and that can be applied to Dr. Ratio. Who knows what romantic beliefs that he grew with? However, I believe this is less of him observing himself, but more of him seeing what the education system does to others, and how society molds others into the person that they "should" be, rather than what they want to be. Also, it could be a reference to academic trauma and placing all your self worth in your grades.
"Now it's time for another vendetta Going through the shelves Picking out my pre-written persona (ha-ah-ah) Children of the city sees only the neon stars Reflected upon the murky gutter sky Don't ask me why I desperately wish to be included in the city's night"
This is how I see Dr. Ratio holding a grudge against the Aeons and other figures of authority. We are all expected to be "good" and "well-behaved", and yet, we all look to the "city's night" - the approval of those who are in a higher position of us. We want to gain the approval and the praise of our parents, of our teachers - it's natural, after. We want to be included in the "city's night" - in Dr. Ratio's case, the gaze of Nous. He wants to be acknowledged by Nous and let into the Genius Society because his beliefs that were instilled into him as a child dictate that since he is hailed as a genius, he should be seen as one by the Aeons, right? However, I'd like to point out the usage of the words "neon stars" - stars are not neon. This implies that the stars are fake - I can also see this as a pointer to the idea of there system itself being fake, or societal "norms" being fake, as we are all unique.
"In four hundred thousand meters, turn right
Pick up a knife and stab a familiar warm body Learned to fight before I knew love or bitterness of coffee Snippy scissors cut down the strings I set myself free Only to figure out everything I chose was by proxy"
Dr. Ratio following orders until he doesn't. Fitting in until he gives up on it. Setting himself free from the chains of what is expected from him of other people, but not by the Aeons - no, that's something that still stays with him. However, I like to interpret the idea of a "familiar warm body" being his own childhood - killing the child that you used to be in favour of facing the future. Coffee is also something commonly regarded as students or workers using it to keep awake during long periods of work and study - it talks about how he has known to fight for himself, or fight for what he wants, before he was told to suck it up and just work for the sake of others, for the sake of the authority. However, this might feel scripted to him as well, with the mention of a "proxy" - it was a decision someone else made for him, maybe? Who knows? Maybe his selflessness was originally chosen by someone else, and drilled into him?
"As we suckled upon the nine millimeter pacifier Swallowing the fact that other than to expand We had no purpose As my ever-burning will to stay afloat backfires I now know I must be comfortable being Who I considered worthless"
This is definitely expanding on the idea of being raised to just be used by the authorities. Also, this can also be a representation of the way that he calls himself "mundane" - he was called a genius and raised as one, and now that Nous has not seen him, he must be "mundane" and he must come to terms that he is exactly what he wasn't called growing up. None of their words of praise have any meaning any more, because in the all seeing gaze of an Aeon, he is nothing.
"Follow the city's ribbon To a heart nobody seems to listen It takes my heart being broken and broken again (broken and broken again) To know that I am the reason why (the reason why) The sufferings never end"
As Dr. Ratio uncovers the truth of his childhood and the truth of why he was raised this way, the empathy that he has suppressed comes back up. And this is it - because he feels for others, because he is so incredibly human, that is the reason why his suffering does not end. He cannot detach himself like other people, like other geniuses, and treat life with little to no care. He cannot, because he loves, and that is his fatal flaw. He listens to his heart, as well as his mind, and that does not make him a genius in the eyes of an Aeon.
"Do not go home until you finish reading the value of E. 2.71 8281 8284 5904 5235 3602 8747 1352 6624 9775 7247 0936 9995 9574 9669 6762"
"E" is a mathematical constant, and therefore is logical. It's called the base of a natural logarithm, and while my knowledge in that area is limited, the fact that it is called a "constant" means that it cannot change, just like all numbers cannot. It might be a representation of the idea of Dr. Ratio trying again to fit in with others, only to fail once more, even though he knows all the rules. He was simply born in a different way, doomed from the start. It wasn't his fault.
He was just human.
You can also see this as Dr. Ratio observing the world as he grows up in an "apathetic" and "detached" way - as he pushes down his own emotions in favour of staring at his own success to help others, knowing that his empathy will not get him anywhere in terms of a cruel world. However, he cannot help it.
Ultimately, "Children of the City" is about how we are raised in a society that forces the idea of work on us ever since we are young. We do not get to cherish our childhoods nor our youth, and are immediately turned to the prospect of how we can provide value to society. We are raised in a never ending cycle like machines, to be puppets to corporations, to be slaves by the desire of the majority, to never have free will of our own.
Summoning @ironunderstands @pepper-demon @misty-lilies @sleepyburito :)
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