#but forcing people to do something bc YOU think it’s best without even considering personal nuance is stupid and I hate it

[mayday505]

This may be controversial but I Genuinely wish people would stop being all arrogant and patronising Abt organ donation.

Like people talking abt organ donation to me is the equivalent of those virtue signalling posts on tiktok that’s like “if you don’t do this you’re a shit human being and don’t deserve genuine love or care” cuz yeah organ donation is important but so is respecting people’s wishes who don’t feel comfortable doing it. For example if your religion doesn’t allow it. Me personally I’m not opposed to organ donation but I don’t want to sign up (I live in a country where I’m automatically assumed an organ donor unless I opt out anyways) because I have such bad anxiety if I think about it I will have a panic attack. And I struggle rlly bad w intrusive thoughts and one occurring one is Abt having my organs removed so I just hate thinking about it bc it’s genuinely really distressing for me. Like the thought of having my organs taken is just so panic inducing and awful for me to think about because it reminds me of how I’m going to die one day and I’m actually terrified of that so xxxxx and whenever I try to explain this to people when I say I’m not an organ donor (haven’t got a card that u get when u sign up) it’s like “WHY NOT??!?!?!?” “YOULL BE DEAD YOU WONT NEED THEM!!!” “WHY ARE YOU SUCH A SHIT PERSON DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT OTHERS IN NEED????” Like no. Just let me explain for two secs and stop being an asshole !!! I just think that it’s stupid cuz I think that even if it’s not for religious reasons we should still respect the wishes of the dead. If I say I don’t want to donate I don’t want to and I have a valid reason and that should be respected. I get that organ donation is struggling bc of aging population but you don’t have to make me feel guilty about my genuine fears and anxieties because you want to make yourself look better. Cuz these people don’t care they just wanna make themselves seem better than you most of the time. And they just scream at you and it’s really upsetting.

[melodic-haze]

thinking abt sub firefly and how cute she would be !!!! even tho she's a stellaron hunter and could kill you at any moment in her sam form she'd still follow ur every command bc of her massive praise kink she's just like that!! 😓😓😓

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Firefly x dom!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Reader with a dick/strap referred to as such

☆ — NOTES: I FINALLY GOT TO HER OUGGHGHH ANONNNN I DIDN'T FORGET YOU TRUST MEEEE I love Firefly so baaaaaaad

ANOTHER PERSON WHO CAN KILL ME WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT IF SHE WANTED TO 🥰🥰🥰🥰 oh how I do love power differences

God she's so cute despite being absolutely deadly, nobody can fault me for wanting to bully her a lil bit right??? :((((((

Firefly would do anything for you no matter what (or, well, for as long as the script allows it). You could make an off-handed comment about how you wanted this little thing and she'd come up to you w the exact same thing the next day. You could ask her to do something and she would drop whatever she was occupied with just to cater to you

She's sooooo unbelievably eager to please, it's like you could as her to do ANYTHING you asked and she'd eagerly meet your needs.......and that includes less-than-innocent exchanges too 🫶

Oh she'd be so perfect, always desperate to fulfill your every demand and going above and beyond to please you. If she were giving head, she'd tell you that you don't need to make any moves whatsoever bc she'll be happy to do it for you :(((( this sweet sweet girl ily

You consider yourself extremely blessed to witness the sight above you.

After all, it's not every day that someone has a Stellaron Hunter on their lap in pursuit of euphoric release.

So many people were afraid of the entity named SAM and the sea of flames he could bring upon those that needed it per the script that Elio gave him, and yet.. here 'he' was, in much more of a vulnerable state in the form of a lovely lady eager to please.

All you had to do was say it, relay your demands; she would give you the universe if you wanted it all to yourself. But for now?

For now you had settled upon commanding this supposedly feared servant to Destiny's Slave as if she were your own in this little tryst of yours.

(And hell, barring Elio's little group, she may as well be.)

You hear your lover moan, you hear her whimper, you hear her shaky exhales as she bounces on your cock over and over and over. Her pace alternates between a slow, tantalising grind to a fast, hard ride of desperation—the pace switching at the most perfect times due to a mix of your brilliant direction and the mental notes and drilled habits within Firefly's pretty little head from all the times you've done this erotic form of song and dance.

You can't help but stroke her cheek as she moves on you, can't help but to shift your hand over to toy with her hair lightly as she does her best to please you (and herself). And you just can't help but say those two words--

"Good girl..."

--when she reacts so delightfully: her breath hitches as her hips stutter in movement, though she still continues to move; she lets out a loud moan as her eyes nearly roll to the back of her head and her steadying hands gripped onto your thighs with a sudden increase in force.

She doesn't answer you back vocally but that's alright—she hasn't cum yet without your permission and she was still determined to please you.

She's such a good girl, and she'd do whatever it takes to deserve your praise and your praise alone.

She would take WHATEVER you give her. Soft pampering??? By god she's all OVER IT SING HER UPPP!! A rough pounding? She's durable, she says she can take it :3 Overstimming her until she can't think anymore?? Or maybe even edging her until she wants to go batshit wild but can't bc it's you?????? Go right ahead, she's all yours to play with ✌️

Makes EVERYTHING worth it for her, when you constantly praise her for allllll the good things she's done. Tell her that she's been so good to you, tell her that she's the sweetest girl ever, tell her you wouldn't have anyone else to tend to and be tended to, tell her that you love every bit of her and go into detail❗️❗️❗️ She'd go HILARIOUSLY red, both from sheer embarrassment and from the hot manifestation of her lust pooling in between her thighs

All you need is to say that she's fully and utterly yours, that you wouldn't have it any other way, and not only will she respond in kind, she'll go above and beyond....in any way you want her to

In short guys I love Firefly I can't wait to roll for her 🥰🥰🥰

[theeoriginals]

ok but what about werewolf!reader who is protective over tyler lockwood since mason died, and she's at senior prank night when klaus turns tyler. i imagine klaus being curious about her bc he hasn't seen or met her since she doesn't hang around elena & co. bc of what they did to mason. love u and thank you for blessing us with all these requests!!

i think i want you | klaus mikaelson

klaus mikaelson x reader (no y/n!)

author's notes; sorry this took a while!! holidays got the best of me and i've been so busy. i hope u like this!! go check out my klaus fic on wattpad for more content :) link on my masterlist

warnings; mentioned violence & death but nothing explicit. this is genuinely just a lot of fluff, and only a tiny bit of angst. I like writing klaus being straight up infatuated so enjoy

She’s heard of him. Klaus Mikaelson. Not only is he an Original, but he’s the worst of them. He’s a mystery, a myth of a man. The hybrid. The only one of his kind, and he’s trying to make more. He’s trying to become a god of his own making. He’s a terrifying beast, even in their world of monsters. He is the monster beneath your bed, he is the boogeyman that you see in the shadows of alleyways and glimpses out of the corner of your eye.

When she meets him for the first time, she expects something out of a fairytale, she supposes. It was unintentional, the image of him she had in her head, but she’s heard of this fabled man her whole life as a warning of what can happen if you grow lonely in this life. 

She figured if she ever met Klaus Mikaelson, it’d be the first and only time. There weren’t many stories based on people’s personal interactions with him for a reason. If he bothered to pay you a personal visit and not just send one of his cronies out to deal with you, it probably meant you wouldn’t be seeing another day. 

But instead of that, instead of meeting her demise at the hand of the infamous man for some offense she most likely didn’t even mean to do, she meets him in the high school gym in Mystic Falls, Virginia. 

She meets him, and he’s just a man. 

He’s a terrible man, no doubt, but just a man. She is perhaps wrongfully unafraid of him because of this. It most likely doesn’t bode well for her, because even though he looks just as human as the rest of them, she doesn’t doubt those stories about him are all real, and likely worse than the retellings. 

But she was raised with a pack that taught her to be unafraid in the face of death, and even though she doesn’t have that pack anymore because of men just like Klaus Mikaelson, she wants Tyler to know the security and safety of it just as she had. 

She does not flinch when he looks her way, and resists the urge to rip his head off of his shoulders when he snaps Tyler’s neck and puts Bonnie on a timer for finding a way to bring him back to life as a hybrid. 

She knows she can’t win a fight against him, so she doesn’t fight back, not even as he forces Tyler to drink the doppelgänger’s blood and turns him into a hybrid. A half-dead, half-wolf thing that her pack would likely call him an abomination for. It’s a very dark, comforting thought to her that they aren’t around to condemn Tyler to the ends of the earth for something that was entirely out of his control. 

She knows Tyler is frightened of her doing that, just by the way he looks at her. He learned from Mason and herself that there’s a sense of loyalty to their kind, and that vampires are an inherent enemy. Even his relationship with Caroline would be enough to get him shunned from most werewolf communities at this point. Though, even Mason himself didn’t take that into consideration considering his relationship with one of the doppelgängers. 

After everything is said and done that night, she takes Tyler home without saying a single word to Klaus. Anything she wants to say will get her killed, and Tyler needs her more than ever now, so she can’t get ahead of herself. 

Tyler sheds rare tears in the privacy of his home. He tells her he’s terrified right now because of the fact that a part of him is technically dead now, and that he’s never felt like a monster about being a werewolf until now. 

She does her best to comfort him, but it doesn’t help much. She doesn’t know what he’s feeling right now and they both know it. If the circumstances were any different, she’d probably think he was the new enemy. 

He falls asleep eventually and she leaves him be, heading to her temporary room in the Lockwood mansion. She falls asleep looking at the moon just outside her window, thinking about how she was just a little disappointed in the fact that Klaus Mikaelson is just a man. 

────── 

The next time she sees Klaus Mikaelson, it’s in the tea room in the Lockwood house. He somehow looks even more underwhelming in this place, despite its grandiosity. She doesn’t know why or when she’s going to stop feeling so disappointed in the fact that if she didn’t know any better, she could’ve walked past him on the street without even looking his way. 

He’s there for Tyler, she knows, but Carol’s playing her role of oblivious hostess, and now she’s left to entertain him while Carol goes and handles a small, mayoral emergency. 

Carol leaves them with a charming smile, winking her direction, and she ignores the older woman pointedly. 

“I don’t think I got your name the other night at the school,” Klaus says, tilting his head as he looks at her. “I’m not usually so rude, but the stakes were high and I ran out of patience. You know how it is.” 

She narrows her eyes, shaking her head a bit. “A thousand years old and you haven’t worked on your patience? Maybe your priorities are a little skewed,” 

Klaus’s eyes flash with danger, but she swears she sees amusement in the smirk that pulls at his lips. It sparks that flint inside of her that likes to push and push, just to see the breaking point. She’d tried to deny it, but it only takes the smallest moment for that desire to set its sights on Klaus Mikaelson, even though pushing him could mean death. Her curiosity was a fatal flaw in itself, she knows.

“My only goal in life has been to break this curse,” He says, leaning forward to sit the cup of tea Carol had brought him on the table in between them, the only obstacle stopping him from lunging for her and snapping her neck before she could even blink. She wonders if he’s even aware of all the ways he could kill her, just by looking at her in this mundane setting. She doesn’t know if she actually wants an answer to that, though. “And now I’ve done that. I think a thousand years of this has proven I have nothing but patience.” 

She hums, acknowledging the fact that he was right. She couldn’t imagine being in his shoes, waiting a thousand years to break a curse that kept you from being who you are. Even now, knowing that the Sun and the Moon curse was fabricated in order to help Klaus break the only curse– his curse– when it comes down to it, she can’t blame him for his insistence. 

But she thinks about Tyler and how frightened he was, and she can’t stop the annoyance that builds in her all over again, so any bit of understanding washes away like sand beneath the rising tides. 

She shrugs, unwilling to vocalize the depth of her understanding, as miniscule as it may be. “Still, choosing a hormonal teenage boy as your first hybrid probably wasn’t the smartest decision, wouldn’t you say?” 

Klaus narrows his eyes at her and she stubbornly sits still, unwavering beneath his prolonged, burning stare. “You’re protective of him. I understand why you wouldn’t like me. But I’ve just made him the strongest creature he could ever be. He won’t need you, or any other pack he might have been clinging to before this.” 

And this, she thinks, is the biggest indicator to why she’s not properly afraid of this man before her. It’s not just because he looks unfortunately normal, spare his admittedly beautiful face, or that he’s yet to truly focus any of his true capabilities of danger in her direction. It’s that, at the end of the day, Klaus Mikaelson is just as human as the rest of them are. Because no matter how long you live, or what kind of creature you are, everyone gets lonely. 

“On the contrary,” She says, blinking slowly as she scans his face. “Tyler needs me now more than ever. And any pack would be lucky to have him around. That’s the whole point of a pack. You know that you’re never alone, no matter what happens.” 

To a degree, she knows that’s a lie. There are plenty of packs out there that will banish Tyler and any other hybrid that is made in the coming months because of the rivalry between the creatures that the hybrids are made of. But she also knows that for every pack that will turn them away, there’s one that won’t. There’s always someone, even if it’s just one person, and she’s willing to be that person for Tyler, or for any other hybrid that goes through the loss of their pack. 

“It’s a shame you’ve never known what that’s like,” She says, leaning forward to set her own cup of tea down, a mirror of his actions a moment ago. “Unwavering loyalty and trust, and a sense of family that never goes away. You may think that Tyler has no one, but I will always be here for him, just as I was his uncle.” 

Something defensive passes through his face and he stands abruptly, making her tilt her head back to maintain eye contact with him. 

Klaus leans down into her space, and they glare at each other with a surprising amount of vitriol that neither one of them feels is even genuine. 

“You can cling to your idea of family all you want, but it won’t change the fact that Tyler isn’t just a werewolf anymore. And as much as you may want to deny it, you can’t help him anymore just like you couldn’t help his poor uncle,”

He stands upright again, looking at her almost accusingly. “But since it’s causing no harm to me, I suppose there’s no real reason to make you give up this desperate mission. I wish you the best of luck, dear, truly,” 

He doesn’t wait for a response from her before he leaves, and after her initial anger and embarrassment wears off, she realizes he never even talked to Tyler like she assumed he came here to do in the first place. 

────── 

Mystic Falls has never felt like a smaller town. She’s never run into someone so many times when all she wants to do is avoid them. 

It’s like all of the sudden, since that very first night she saw Klaus Mikaelson, he’s everywhere. He’s in Tyler’s house, because the newly-made hybrid suddenly worships him. He’s in her dreams. She can’t escape him. 

Even now, sitting in a corner booth at the Mystic Grill, he’s suddenly there, sitting across from her like an old friend catching up for lunch. 

Immediately, her face twists in disgust. “Klaus.” 

He smiles in the face of her adversity, and says her name with a fondness of unknown origins. She almost feels insane, looking at him with any degree of civility. 

“What do I owe this visit to?” 

“I’m curious about something and I’m hoping you’ll humor me,” 

“Interesting start,” She huffs, taking a sip of her drink beside her. “What on earth could you possibly be curious enough about that you have to ask me?” 

“You, of course,” 

She swallows roughly, nearly choking as she looks at him in surprise. “Me?” 

The hybrid nods, smirking at her reaction. 

“What… What do you want to know about me?” 

He leans forward on the table, looking at her as she suddenly avoids his eyes, unwilling to admit that she’s feeling heat rise in her chest. “Why is it you aren’t banding together with those bumbling idiots to get rid of me, hm?” 

“Oh,” She breathes out, face turning solemn for a moment as she looks down at the tabletop. “I don’t– I don’t have any reason to want to get rid of you, really. I don’t necessarily like you, but you haven’t hurt Tyler in any permanent way so… I guess I’m just not really worried about it.” 

When she finally meets Klaus’s gaze again, there’s something shocked and unexpectedly warm in his blue eyes that makes her own soften. 

“Is it really that simple?” 

She falls silent for another moment, picking nonsensically at her nails. “They killed my friend.” 

She looks back up at him, sighing. “Mason Lockwood. Tyler’s uncle. He came here because of Katherine– she was looking for the moonstone so she could break that stupid curse that you made up. And they killed him for it,” She shakes her head, anger seeping into her voice. “They’re irrational. And if I’ve learned anything about this life, it’s that being irrational gets people killed.” 

Klaus hums lowly. “You are right about that.” 

Heaving a heavy sigh, she looks up at him, eyes wide and pleading. “What do you want from me, Klaus? I’m not picking sides here– I’m going to protect Tyler until it kills me, and that’s all. So what do you want from me?” 

He observes her for a moment and she doesn’t falter beneath his stare, if only out of spite. 

“Perhaps,” He starts. “I just want to know you.” 

Something fragile breaks on her face and she shows just a little bit more of that vulnerability to him in this new space between them. “What’s so interesting about me that Klaus Mikaelson wants to know me?” 

His eyes search her face, lost. “I don’t know yet. I’m hoping you’ll let me find out,” 

She lets out a breath, quiet, and admittedly flattered. 

A smile pulls at her lips, bashful in a way she isn’t used to. She allows it to spread across her face and beneath Klaus’s gaze, she feels like a blooming rose being adored. It makes her feel things she’s nowhere near ready to admit to herself, or anyone else. “I think we can work something out.” 

Klaus’s returning smile takes her breath away. It feels new, and wonderful. 

[nico-esoterica]

More about celeb sps!

"But what about the millions of other people manifesting them?" 🤔⭐

There's the perspective that they've successfully manifested them in their personal realities, but I'm an elitist. In every other reality, I believe I am the only person my man would ever want to be with, consider, or fathom as a partner. I am the best of the best. I am the only person to ever exist in his world he'd want to be with intimately. I don't care who he's been with. I'm the best lover, best romantic partner, most attractive person to exist in their world. I am always infinitely better. I am what dreams are made of. Billions of the most attractive and good men in the world would kill irl to be with me or even be in the same room with me. Women and other identities too!~

This is how you need to think. If you think anyone's manifesting them? No, they're not lol. Because they'd never do it successfully or have the confidence and conviction to maintain it. They're also not you. And they're weak bitches! I said what I said. I've never thought small in my entire life and I have unwavering confidence, self discipline, and belief in myself. I am self-obsessed and radiate power, magnetism, and sex appeal. I'm also the most beautiful person I've ever personally come across, alive or dead. In a room full of the most conventionally beautiful people, my sp would only have eyes for me. Even in an industry full of surgical beauties! Idgaf! Even if I wasn't gorgeous, my sp would still think I was! Now, let's discuss stalkers and other criminals and what makes you different:

You're always winning in your reality, even if that winning is you losing, lol. You're winning in the assumption that you can't have what you want or who you want. That's winning but just not in your favor.

Even if millions of people are casting love spells or manifesting your person, they will always fail because you've rendered them ineffective in your reality. Also, AGAIN, you are YOU! Someone can only 'take' your sp if you THINK it's possible that they can be taken! That's why you need to STAND THE FUCK UP! Would you wanna be with you? I would wanna be with me! My sp is LUCKY that I even give a fuck the way I do lmao! I also personally believe whoever you're manifesting is manifesting YOU back! That's how manifesting people works objectively if you look at stories of couples who've described how it feels on both ends.

I don't consider stalking to be something celebs want but may be what they expect due to their job and not thinking they're in control of their realities, etc. I also put obsessive fans in that category because their emotional investment makes them money lol. But as a celeb who wants to be genuinely loved as a human being, I do believe they're manifesting the right person for them and that spectrum of possibility will involve someone that's potentially a fan or was one due to the magnitude of their fame. But this person would truly love and appreciate them. That's the difference. When Hailey Bieber and Victoria Beckham were manifesting their men as fans, they wound up in healthy and happy relationships with them. Thriving, tbh.

But the typical 'fan' is usually someone with piss poor self esteem, puts their fave on a pedestal, and may think they have to force themselves on their fave to 'get them to like them' when that's just abuse and assault. That's due to poor self concept and probably due to having an unhealthy relationship with them bc of social alienation from Capitalism, untreated/misdiagnosed neurodivergence because of lack of money and access to quality healthcare, and a combination of factors where their fave is the only 'good' experience in their lives. You're always telling yourself a story. With your sp, celeb or not, it's the same thing.

These people don't believe that they can successfully 'be' with their fave without breaking the law or bypassing personal boundaries and that lack of self belief is because of bad self concept and personal self esteem. They don't think they would ever choose them without them needing to force it to happen. When you're manifesting like Hailey, Victoria, etc, you're putting yourself on the pedestal instead. You're believing that there's no way in hell that celeb sp WON'T want you for just existing. I don't know those women personally but it takes audacity and that audaciousness is a result of a strong self concept about themselves and what they're capable of. But it doesn't have to be all that.

You don't even have to like yourself to manifest a celeb sp, but most people don't tell themselves that they can just exist and the sp will find them and fall in love with them.

That's the difference between a stalker, saesang, and toxic person vs another person manifesting them. You'd think there's overlap but there's a distinct difference in mindset. You don't need to be in creepy group chats full of criminals exchanging stolen personal info or do any weird shit but people do most likely because that's the only way they think they'll get access to their sp. They're still insecure, lol.

That's why people commit crimes anyway and is the way our system is set up. They're still manifesting that fraudulent access but they rarely, if ever, land the full blown relationship where their sp wants them back. Their sp not wanting them back despite all the weird shit (bc people irl DO have relationships w/ toxic people) is proof that they DON'T think or believe this person wants them. Otherwise they'd think it was cute or something because they'd see them as the one and only exception. That rarely happens with celebs, even though I'm sure it does, but that not being the norm means those people manifesting celeb sps simply don't think they can do it deep down.

That's why you're one out of millions or a billion, honestly. Even if someone seems very confident, unless they have consistent commitment to their inner story like con artist Anna Delvey, for example, then they won't be successful.

Because that's all it takes with anything, sp or not. It's the story you're telling yourself. It doesn't have to feel real. You just need to not change it.

Like I said, the other girls are weak bitches. It just is what it is.

[drdemonprince]

how did you know that seeking institutional help was the right step to take?

For four years I was always in high levels of care. When I transitioned out of that, I was a "revolving door patient" to ip units living with a carer the rest of the time. I sometimes self-harmed or did other actions intentionally to get hospitalized during that time. I'm going to focus on mostly that because I don't want to get into the weeds of how different psych treatment programs are categorized and run.

I would say that my goal of being hospitalized usually was to change something in my outpatient life - let my therapist know I wasn't willing to do something, get my companions to let me go for walks alone, whatever. I'd get hospitalized or call the cops on myself or send scary texts to my therapist and then try to end my life, eventually being stopped. I didn't want to die, but if I could prove to them I was willing to, they'd listen.

Another person mentioned a desire for closeness+physical touch, and that was a huge part of it for me. i even got restrained sometimes just because I wanted any touch, which is something commonly heard from incarcerated people. I had certain nurses and other staff who I saw as my family, calling my therapist "dad" and interacting in a needy, childlike way with floor staff.

I also liked how much it pared down my life. I was in college at the time, and found the social habits of the other students confusing and overwhelming, so I'd get hospitalized to miss class.

what helped you trust the professionals or the institution enough for it to be beneficial to you?

i wouldn't say I trust any of the institutions, but some staff earned my trust. I was a scary mean noncompliant patient so the few who actually bothered to get to know me were usually moments away from some kind of burnout where they realized all this shit sucks.

One of the things they did that earned my trust was to share about their own mental health or addiction history. This is encouraged in sud places, but usually VERY discouraged in psych units, moreso the higher level of care it is.

Another big thing was to allow me to break rules or break them themselves. My ex-therapist used to meet with me for extra time, give me my DVD player when I wasn't allowed, etc. and it felt like he saw me as equal. Turns out he sucks. but. during the time he was treating me he definitely helped me a lot with my thinking patterns, so the trust still ended up benefiting me, even if the relationship didn't always. He also talked A LOT about his family and life outside of work, and showed me pictures, and I even met his dog once.

for me this is an example of why therapists are kind of. not great? because he earned my trust enough to help me, I was at his defense. I felt like not getting better was something I was "doing to him", and his displays of sadness (once something I'd considered a positive aspect of his self disclosure) became a way to manipulate me into the hospital when I didn't want to go, without having to resort to force or law. i agreed with the assertion of psychology that he knew me better than I know myself, and gave every part of my personality, personhood, to the medical model.

so yes it helped as in now when I'm suicidal or about to bpd-style destroy my every relationship I think "play the tape forward what happens next" and don't. which is lame bc it means most of the people who treated me get to leave patting themselves on the back about how well im doing now.

which kinds of institutions have been *less* traumatic than the others?

A few times I got to live in supportive group home style places, and those are kind of nice! It was cool to be in a place surrounded by other mentally ill people. Much less lonely. In general, places that let you outside independently, let you access food independently (e.g. no staff in the kitchen), and let you keep some secrets from staff are the best. My quality of life was 100% better when all the program heads knew we were vaping in our rooms but just let it happen unless someone started setting off alarms. Ditto with like, being able to stay up late on Devices.

Having that independence, a place for my sense of self other than being a patient, was sooo sooo helpful.

is it sometimes worth simply not being able to act on the ideation, even if it means putting up with lots of institutional bullshit?

I didn't find the hospital particularly good at getting me to not act, instead they just prevented the worst consequences. All three hundred stitches I got for self-harm were while I was institutionalized. But like, my nerve damage is less than it could've been. I am not sure how to evaluate if that's better than having just died, because I have no idea how much the institution itself caused self-harm and suicidality.

all things being equal, would it always be better to be able to stay at a friend's house instead?

yes

if you could get 24-7 company from a loved one, would that be better?

yes. however. i think it would be good if people had some information about how to talk to suicidal people. like... i forget the training. but its similar to what they teach helpline volunteers. thats its ok to say suicide. to ask if they have a plan. to ask if theyd be willing to get rid of the means. etc.

SORRY IF THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO READ

this is a wealth of information, thank you!

[xjulixred45x]

Since I'm in the Helluva Boss Mood, I'm going to talk about something that I hope doesn't get me crucified.

I.ABSOLUTELY. HATE. THE .STOLYTZ.

Although I only realized this year.

If we go for the bases, we go with the bases.

✨NEITHER OF THE TWO KNOWS THE BASICS OF A STABLE RELATIONSHIP✨

Stolas was put in an arranged marriage as a child, having an EXTREMELY absent father and living in a turbulent relationship (which became abusive at times, with quiet moments but well, I don't think it would last long) with Stella. We are not told that Stolas has tried to be unfaithful in the past, so Stolas has no REAL EXPERIENCE in HEALTHY relationships to enter into one.

Blitz is much worse in this regard. He had an alcoholic father who left him in the background ALL the time above his best friend, and having to take care of his mother. He accidentally causes an accident that ends up killing his mother, leaves his best friend disabled, his sister hates him, etc.

Blitz, unlike Stolas, did have more relationships before him, but we know that they all ended BAD, especially VEROSIKA (there are even hints that she wanted to help him with his bad situation but he pushed her away) and as such it only did more harm than good .

all this without counting episode 1/season 2

Stolas clung TOO much to the good memory he had of Blitz, but to him it didn't mean HALF of what it meant to Stolas (since he already had positive things in his life like his sister, his mother and Fizz) so what? What does an adult with zero knowledge of healthy affection and ZERO experience in real relationships do? HE MANIPULATES TO GET WHAT HE WANTS.

Which brings me to my second point.

✨THE IMBALANCE OF POWER✨

If we ignore the fact that Imps are considered the lowest race in hell (because like all forms of racism, it is STUPID reasoning) even so the biggest red flag is the huge imbalance of decision-making power that exists in the relationship.

Blitz only wanted Stolas' book, HE REALIZED and what did he do? HE MADE A SEXUAL "ARRANGEMENT"(ABUSE, BC THE SEX CAN'T NEVER EVER BE A COIN TO TREAT WITH)WITH BLITZ TO GIVE HIM HIS BOOK (which HE KNEW HE NEEDED) ALL IN ORDER TO GET CLOSE TO HIM.

This is a monumental ABUSE OF POWER by Stolas! because at the end of the day he is the one who decides whether he gets the book or not (he knows it is VITAL for his work, WHAT HE LIVES ON) AND he tries to excuse it with the fact that it is a "way to spend time with him" EXCUSE ME !?!?

First of all, how the hell was Blitz supposed to realize that Stolas "loved" him if in episode one they literally had to censor everything that Stolas wanted to do in bed with Blitz? (and it's like that until chapter 6-7 where he begins to act more affectionately)

THERE ARE A THOUSAND WAYS TO INVITE SOMEONE OUT AND YOU HAD TO CHOOSE THE MOST ASSHOLE AND TOXIC ONE OF ALL. Abuse of power, control, poor communication, THERE'S EVERYTHING HERE, I'M IN CHERNOBYL!

AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE WORST.

Just because! There are toxic relationships that are fine to show on screen, especially in this case, gay/lesbian couples are rarely put under a toxic air, so there was A LOT to take away.

but the WORST thing is how ROMANTICIZED IT IS and as if BY FORCE they want you to 1) feel sorry for Stolas/get angry with Blitz or 2) that you SHIP THEM...

WHAT

Look, I like both characters, their stories are interesting and I like their personalities. the episodes focusing on JUST ONE of them are very good, but that's the point.

✨THE QUALITY DECLINES EVERY TIME THEY ARE TOGETHER ✨

Stolas is much more likable when he's being the prince of hell who's going through a turbulent divorce, dealing with his teenage daughter who he adores, singing songs to said daughter, helping other Demon Lords (I'm looking at you Asmodeus), etc.

Blitz seems much happier being with Millie and Moxxie killing people, talking about Loona, doing his job, getting into trouble with humans and being a complete bloodthirsty.

BOTH SHINE BRIGHTER BEING SEPARATED, NOT TOGETHER.

If you ignore the whole romance thing, they are good characters, but they forcefully want to introduce this drama...

ahg....it's late, I have school tomorrow, don't kill me for my honest opinion. If I think of anything else I'll edit it.

love ya❤️❤️❤️❤️

[lakesbian]

i think cherie has a weird psychological fixation on alec. btw. for reasons such as

cheries Deal is about being powerful and scary and manipulative so she can be the one who hurts others instead of the one who gets hurt due to shes fundamentally alienated from connection w/ herself and others and has no other way to cope with existing without feeling like dirt

also her powers are abt being stuck in this miserable cramped home w a bunch of other miserable violent people and having to learn how to emotionally read everyone so she can cater to the abuser to keep herself safe + understand how to manipulate the other victims (to make life easier for herself, to hurt them to satiate her abuser & feel like she's regained some control, etc)

alec was one of the siblings slightly closer 2 her in age + one of the siblings she tormented, someone she knew exceedingly well as a result of her power. theres a connection there. its a bad connection but theres a connection. forced him to do horrible shit alongside heartbreaker + WoG implies she contributed 2 the sexual abuse by fostering the hypersexual behavior. basically i bet she thinks she has him read for filth

he was a sad little sopping wet crybaby 4 most of the time she knew him absolutely the type that would make younger cherie be like "tch...hes not cut out for anything." and tell him to stop being a whiny baby (<- she thinks this counts as helpful life advice). i think she would tell him this even if he wasn't actually crying. like he would go ":(" in his head and she would be like Stop being a whiny baby. just unprompted. also on the one occasion she tried to cheer him up she did so by letting him watch liveleak videos of people exploding on her phone.

anyway my point is. sad sopping wet crybaby jean-paul grows up, toughens up, runs away successfully (first heartbroken to do so), and THEN becomes a threat of stabilizing his own power 2 the point where he could eventually become more successful/well-known than her while the cult back home is slowly dwindling in power. what if the sopping wet crybaby younger sibling you tortured as a coping mechanism was at risk of getting cooler than you would that be fucked up or what.

furthermore i think cherie is like. conscious about the fact that she sucks and the heartbroken home sucks and thinks she's being Honest about it + brave in the face of the inherent misery that the world wreaks upon her for sucking. and she also thinks that alec is, like, not just lying and obscuring the fact that he sucks from the undersiders, but successfully being treated like he Doesn't suck as a result. which pisses her off and is, aside from thinking it's funny when he's miserable, why she tries to ~reveal the truth~ about him 2 the undersiders over the phone. this is funny because alec also thinks he's being honest about the fact that he sucks and in fact considers it one of his strong points.

but anyway yeah i think shes fixated with being able to like. drag him back down to what she perceives as their shared level + reestablish control over him bc him being free and successful while genuinely improving himself as a person puts fundamental cracks in her worldview.

all of which is to say in the beautiful hypothetical world where she gets drudged up from the ocean and riley and amy awkwardly put her back together she finds out alec died doing smth good 4 aisha and she doesn't fucking like it. because he's beyond her reach in two ways forever now. first of all he's dead. second of all he died doing something uncomplicatedly caring and self-sacrificing for a friend which means the undersiders permanently remember him as a fucked up kid they knew back when they were all fucked up kids who ultimately Tried and went out being the best person he could be. which means she can't drag him back down to her level and reassert her worldview by making him miserable Or by changing ppls opinions of him. even insinuates that what She thought about him might have been wrong. and aisha laborn, the person he died for, who is now taking care of all of the heartbroken, who still remembers alec deeply fondly, is naturally where her Weird Psychological Fixation transfers next. also worth noting that THE FUCKING WORLD ENDED while she was down there and the s9 is Over so cherie is just. utterly irrelevant everybody forgor about her. she doesn't even get to feed off ppls hatred, no "negative attention is still attention" for her, she just gets drudged up and is expected 2 move on with her life. which is to say she immediately clings onto the one remnant of the world she knew, the one place where she can still claw for relevancy w/ ppl who would know her, and starts emailing aisha "can't make a banaisha split without a cherie on top" 200 times in a single evening. and aisha doesnt care at all cherie is going fucking nuts over this whole thing and aisha is just over there mentally writing this weeks grocery list in her head

[yanfeisty]

!Sagau! Can i request some reactions of venti, kusanali, raiden ei, zhongli, and barbara of god reader being double from skullgirls? ( she is a monster in disguise as a nun under the name agatha look up her form its cool! She is known to be more hostile and angry towards enemies, but lesser hostile to close ones she is one of the enemies, following unknown masters. I recommend learning about her in skullgirls wiki so the information are accurate OwO. Feel free to ignore or declined! Even if it took a long time i'll wait patiently :3.

Genshin hcs | Double!Reader

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : Barbara, Ei, Venti, Yae Miko, Zhongli x Creator!Reader

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : You're hard to please and you hide your true apparence from them, but some Acolytes found a way into your heart.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : Religious theme.

𝐀/𝐍 : Hello and thx for requesting! I'm sorry I'm not doing Kusanali yet bc I don't know about her much, so I replaced her with Yae, but I hope you'll still enjoy it and that I didn't write Double ooc TT.

Masterlist

⠀‣ Barbara

. Since you're a rather stoic person, she won't push you to like her, but she won't be able to hide her joy to finally meet and serve you. She knows songs that can calm you down, would you like to hear one? She also knows the city by heart, and the best places for you. She's a bit shy and sometimes lost for words at your presence, but she's trying her best to share the joy you gave her with you.

. If you reveal your true form to her, she'll feel honored that you trust her with it, and that she's part of the people you're less hostile with and she's hopefully in your good grace. She's doesn't you as a monster, her God could never be seen as something horrible, everything about you is so pure and true. And she really doesn't want you to feel insecure about it, since others might see you as a monster and that your appearance in the sacred texts were wrong. (Even if you don't care)

. She's more curious on how does your form works, do you need to sleep, what's your alimentation, etc...Takes care even more of you in this form, you might feel alone and you'll need proper assistance, that she and only a few can provide. She'll make sure to have everything for you.

. She doesn't know anything about your "masters" but if her God follows them, that means they are her masters too! Maybe they're your creator, which means they're extremely important. She'll make sure to reference them in one of her verse, if you let her.

⠀‣ Ei

. She says she understands if you're not the most friendly type and that it's hard to win your heart, and will not try to force you to favor her, but without even realizing, she's doing the opposite. Always asking if you need something or any help, she offers gifts or sometime sends her servants, to shower you with them, aks what's your opinion about things she isn't sure what you'll think of it. She'll be glad to be part of the people you aren't hostile with, she hopes at least you consider her as tolerable.

. For her, your true form is beautiful, you take the apparence of a mortal, but as in what she considers your God's form, you represent eternity, one that is untouchable from anything and anyone, and will remain forever to rule Teyvat. And it's a privilege for her to see you like that, which she won't like to share with anyone, she's one of your most devoted follower, the rest are either enemies of your eternity or too low compared to your superiority.

. For your enemies, do you perhaps need her to end them? She'll be glad to, if you judge them to be hostile with, that means they're a threat that needs to be remove, or she'll be very happy to fight them with you at her side, she'll be your blade that'll make them regret to go against you.

. Ei frankly doesn't care about your masters, she doesn't know them and she can't see how could they be superior to you, but she'll try to talk good of their name in front of you.

⠀‣ Venti

. He'll make sure that he finds a way to your heart, one poem or song that'll make you at ease with him, and break this stoic facade of yours, he isn't the best bard in Mondstadt for nothing! He can take you under the tree that he likes, and you can talk to him about anything or even nothing if you prefer, as long as you feel that he's a good companion.

. About your other form, which makes him hide his excitement when you reveal it to him, but he can't suppress the smile plastered on his face, more for the fact that you finally trust him. But he still likes it, in fact, he ships his wisp form with you as he thinks you would look adorable together. You're still the same Creator he loves no matter the apparence you take!

. He is suspicious about your supposed masters, why do you exactly consider them as such, and what do they exactly ask you to do. He'll try to play it smooth in trying to get informations from you, but worries as if it's actually from your own will or are they manipulating you.

⠀‣ Yae Miko

. It's easy for her to enter in your good grace, she's just watching how you're behaving with others and learns from it. Maybe, that's how she sees right through you, lurking made her notice your secretive nature. Perhaps, through that unfaze mask of yours hides something more sinister that people wouldn't be ready to see.

. And she's glad that she was right, you do look like and act secretly like something that would give a heart attack to its people. But for now, only her knows and she'll happily keep it for herself, she'll reward you with her other form too. It's a truly an honor to see you like this and reveal your true self to her, don't keep any secrets from her, you can trust her and she'll be joyful to help.

. That's why you should tell her more about those secret commanders, maybe she can offer them her service, that's what she's telling you, but her real motive is more of learning about them, why do they need you, and what goals do you have for following them, but most importantly, are they a threat to you and Teyvat, a Creator can't have someone above them, maybe she should put them back in their place, and let them know who is the real superior being.

⠀‣ Zhongli

. He gives you all the time you need to warm up to him, but he is still an Acolyte, so he is pretty much always by your side. You'll naturally come to him as he is a calm and wise person, moments with him are relaxing, in opposite with your other followers overwhelming you with their praise. Zhongli will conceal the joy and the bit of pride he has when you come talk to him alone or when you need to calm down, he truly feels blessed.

. But not as much than when you show your other form, regressing to a young god overly excited by his Creator, when he sees it, which he tries to hide, because you like his calming and mature nature. If anyone has any doubts, for him it just proves your God status, as you're not a mortal, but a divine being that nobody could compare to, if someone dares to do a blasphemy and say you have the apparence or mind of a demon, he'll shut them up with a meteor if they're an enemy, or if it's a normal citizen, pity them to not recognize their Creator and instead let their own heart invaded by hatred.

. For those unknowns masters you seem to follow, like Venti, he'll try to get informations about them, but if don't let him, well, he won't push you further. As long, as they don't make you do anything that could potentially hurt you, he doesn't see a problem if you want to follow them, but you'll stay forever the superior being in his eyes.

[edelgarfield]

under the cut bc i don't want to force anyone to character hate if they don't want it (it's not hate just. a longtime gripe abt o.rym)

orym continuing to bring up his family as like. a trump card any time someone suggests listening to ludinus or even that he's right about the gods. it's so?? honestly i really don't like it as a viewer & it's their game so my opinion doesn't really matter, but if a player at my table consistently refused to consider options that the rest of the party was entertaining i think there would be a point where i'd be like "either your character needs to compromise, or you need to make one that will." bc like. on one hand i understand this being something central to orym as a character. but at the same time d&d is a team game and like. for the sake of everyone else's fun sometimes you just have to entertain the rest of the party even if it's not "what your character would do."

like it's so frustrating bc i feel like so many really interesting storylines & potential avenues have been completely cut off bc of orym, where the other characters & characters from previous campaigns have been willing to make concessions.

and the fact that his hatred for ludinus keeps him from even entertaining his point abt the gods. like ludinus killing his family makes him unforgivable (valid), but when the gods kill thousands of people's families it's "well mortals kill each other too." make it make sense.

it's so frustrating bc imo no other character in CR's run has been this unwilling to compromise for the sake of the party. keyleth, vax, & vex all worked with Raishan, who was responsible for the deaths of keyleth's people AND worked w/ the dragon that killed the twins' mother.

veth worked w/ ludinus & essek despite them being responsible for her husband's imprisonment. caleb worked w/ multiple assembly members.

like i don't hate orym, he has his moments & liam has always been one of my favorite players. but it's like he's completely unable to see past his own personal tragedy to consider what's actually best for exandria as a whole. you could argue that ludinus is doing the same thing and that's the point. orym accuses ludinus of being blinded by revenge/pain, but he's the exact same in that respect.

i'm not saying orym needs to sign up with the ruby vanguard or kill the gods, but the refusal to even consider that the gods might be harming exandria as a whole, or that the world could exist without the gods despite all the evidence to the contrary speaks to a moral/logical rigidity that he & ludinus share. and that could be interesting to explore but imo orym is in the exact same place he started at the beginning of the game in this regard. i've seen no evidence of his opinion on the gods evolving from "ludinus bad." i feel like he's immediately dismissive any time one of the other party members suggests otherwise.

It's like. I feel like he's so convinced of his own moral righteousness that anyone who disagrees with him is misguided. like so much of his identity within the party is tied to being The Sane One & The Stable One & The Moral Compass, both in the eyes of the other party members & himself, that any dissenting opinion is seen as less important/valid bc he immediately pulls the Ludinus Killed My Family card even when the conversation isn't directly about that, which immediately bullies everyone into shutting up.

i hope it changes, and maybe Dorian seeing Ludinus's point will get to him, bc he's the first person that can counter Orym with "the Gods killed my family." But I also think that speaks to The Problem with Orym, which is that like. he seems to think that having The Most Trauma makes your opinion matter more, and he's always comparing his trauma to the rest of the party, both to his benefit & to his detriment. like IF Dorian is able to get Orym to at least acknowledge the validity of his point of view, I think it's extremely unfair to Orym's other friends that he didn't think their opinions mattered until someone's family died.

idk i just find orym very very frustrating as a character. I think he would've worked well in Vox Machina, but not in this party & not this campaign. Imo he's too morally inflexible for a campaign that focuses on some complex themes. Or I think if one of the other party members was coming from the other end of the spectrum, like Deanna, and had similar trauma surrounding the gods, I think that would have worked well to balance out Orym's rigidity. And hopefully we get that with Dorian I just wish we would have had it all along.

(deanna please come back im begging you, it's such a shame that orym never got to talk to you)

[ohbo-ohno]

How do you write fanfiction without going ooc?

Personally I think you're the best cod writer, I'm considering writing some fan fiction but I'm scared the characters arent in character

"best cod writer"??? when i haven't posted in like a month?? oh babe we are getting MARRIED ilysm thank you <3

im actually like fucking terrible at giving advice (i am not a well spoken person lmao) but i can talk At you for a bit about this!!!

grasping a character's voice is actually like. deeply difficult, and it's maaaaybe the thing i struggle with most when writing (or at least one of the things lmao). especially bc literally every single writer has a different voice for every character, so you have to find what works best for your story and your style. your ghost shouldn't look/sound exactly like someone else's ghost, because he's yours, yk?

that also being said - things that are ooc to me aren't necessarily ooc to someone else. the ghost in my mind would never let you call him a cheesy pet name like "sisi", but that doesn't mean that someone else's ghost wouldn't, yk? and to them, they're in character! so you've kinda got to decide what you think being in character is, if that makes any sense

i read a looooot of fanfiction before i started writing my own cod stuff. i've only watched the full campaign once, but i've read what's probably dozens of fics lmao - my ghost and soap are an amalgamation of the things i enjoyed most in other people's fics. think about the things that you love the most in your favorite fics, and see if you can replicate that tone/vibe

i also think that getting a character's Voice is a lot more than just dialogue. i write in either second person or third person limited, but for the sake of this i'll talk a bit about third person limited

if i'm writing smth like i'll eat you whole, im technically writing from johnny's perspective, right? so i don't write his internal monologue in his accent, but i do use certain adjective he would - like instead of describing ghost as "broad" or "hulking", i said he's "a big motherfucker" bc that's how i think johnny would talk. this doesn't matter nearly as much with second person, but letting johnny's voice float into the internal monologue helps keep me in the right headspace for the fic. it's easier for me to maintain his voice if i never really let it go, yknow what i mean?

also i know this sounds sooo stupid but i think a big part of writing in character is literally just thinking "can i see them saying this? would a person like this do this?"

like. okay. ghost is a 6'4 special forces lieutenant who is willing to do literally anything if it means completing his mission. he's a big man with an even bigger reputation. can you see him begging for your forgiveness at the slightest argument? can you see him stuttering on a first date?

and soap is an incredibly accomplished sergeant who's set records in the military, he's a demolitions expert and a skilled sniper with a hell of a temper. can you see him giggling? can you see him crying when his girlfriend is mad at him?

sometimes making sure you're not writing ooc is as simple as "They Would Not Fucking Say That", and as unhelpful as it is, that's literally just based on vibes

is any of that coherent at all?? i genuinely don't know. hope i didn't make things worse! ily!

(also just as general writing advice - practice!!! don't post everything you write!! i cannot tell you how many things i've written will never see the light of day, but all my little failures in writing have given me a better grasp on the characters, yk? you have to do badly and recognize what's bad before you can be super happy with your writing. write something and then focus on exactly what feels off to you, and change only that. idk. maybe im spouting bullshit)

[lordwisteria]

Going off that “Jason Todd should be Catholic” post I reblogged....this is so ridiculously niche lol but I need to get it off my chest....Jason Todd is so Ronan Lynch coded

Traumatic reaction to violence that unexpectedly changed them forever, into darker and harder versions of themselves

Molten eyes and a smile made for war!!!

How do you live if you think you were maybe supposed to be dead?

How do you kill yourself again and again, even if it keeps you alive?

Just to get it out of the way yes Gansey died and came back but Jason and Gansey are like the least alike of anyone

Complicated relationship with a parent they once adored

Inexplicable magic that is difficult to explain and makes their lives harder (Like everything about Ronan/Jason coming back to life and the Pit)

General asshole who actually does care a lot

Cared the MOST about one person (Gansey) and slowly came to care about everyone else; fighting and clawing their way back into their own families

It is about RAGE and REGRET. FEAR and FORGIVENESS. It is BEING THE MONSTER AND ASKING FOR LOVE ANYWAY

Ok but. But but. Are there any other parallels? You could go the Lynch brothers route (Dick as Declan, Tim or Damian as Matthew, Bruce as a complicated and dead Niall whose obsessions killed him without considering what it would leave behind for his sons). But I think this really only considers the characters relationships with Jason, not who they are as a person. IF we are looking at who they are instead of their relationships (so yes this does not consider romantic/platonic/blahblah):

It would be easy to say Dick is Gansey. They have the same name, are ~leaders~, and are canonically the prettiest princess in any room. I get it and maybe in the Titans you'd be right, but here, Bruce is Gansey. He is the one with the quest! He is the one driving things forwards and bringing the others along. He's the one with the family name and the family wealth and the family home. He went through something traumatic as a child that irrevocably changed him, fueled his intense guilt and obsession. He brought the group together, and yet feels left behind by them. Someone who cares deeply about the people immediately around him, and yet will not stop pursuing his other goals even if it's hurting them or himself. Obsessed, I think, with proving that he deserves to be here.

Which means that Dick...is Adam Parrish. Like. The constant search for independence. The perfectionism. The bad relationship with his father that forced him to need to be his own man. (Sorry real Bruce but you sucked in batman #416) Loving someone so much and yet always thinking the worst of them. Refusing to be a burden and yet accepting any yoke that comes his way. The intensity of the performance, of pretending to be who you wish you were for the people you care about. Taking on responsibilities because there is literally no other choice, nothing else you could do. Picking the best of your options and knowing that none for them are to rest easy. Valuing freedom so much and giving up your literal body for the quest.

PLUS (less perfect but): Cass as Henry Cheng (and not just bc they are both asian do not look at me like that) Narrative outsider who was watching from afar and put themselves in the narrative. Was molded by shady parent's shady business practices. Was put in a situation as a child they should not have had to endure, which challenged their beliefs and shaped them anew. And maybe like, later Tim as Noah, a bright, fun, young kid on a skateboard who gets himself involved in something too big for him and is undeniably damaged by it. Tim isn't betrayed by someone the way Noah is, but he's kind of...betrayed by the narrative, in a way? Betrayed by the adventure that he thought he was getting. Too clever for his own good, but sometimes naive about people. Lowkey a mirror that lets people see whatever they want to see lol

(I don't see super clear parallels for anyone else lol but I did have a fun time with the thought of Damian as Blue (short/down to fight/has another family/environmentalist/kind of feels fundamentally alienated as someone who is not like everyone else/wears green))

[toffyrats]

saw your bored post, gimme your best hcs abt racetrack and spot, and also jededaius (christ idk how to spell his name i did a wholeass paper on the man) and octavious :3

SPRACE AND JEDTAVIUS YIPPEE

okok i have so much rly random and specific stuff for them sprace especially

ok for sprace i’m gonna do some individually and then collectively

RACEEETRAAACKKK

-race is definitely the little love coach/gossip girl in the lodging house, he definitely picks up on every little hint of feelings between the boys (and bothers spot and jack with it). -for some odd reason i just. feel like race had a crush on davey at some point or at least found him attractive but he slowly turned into javid’s biggest supporter LMAO -he trusts albert with his life (bad idea). probably had to go through the “uh can i tell you about something” shit with him before he started dating spot. it rly stressed him out for a while but he’s good now albert’s fine race’s fine. -he and katherine were probably the first people davey told about liking jack, and he was so fucking exited about it on like an unhealthy level. davey asked him if he could keep a secret, let’s just say he didn’t. -actually like never smokes, just has the cigar bc it makes him look badass and allows him to do fancy flourishes with it at the end of every sentence. -that being said, he gives major theater kid vibes. -jack was his first friend, and crutchie kinda just joined the group later on. he’s the second youngest of the trio, and they consider eachother brothers.

spit concord

-gets no bitches. likes to think he does but doesn’t. race loves him for that honestly. -hotshot became a newsie before he did even though he’s slightly younger. he probably found spot in a trashcan somewhere and dragged him back against his will -they’re besties i’m here for it -huge dog person. i could see him stealing food and then giving it to some street dogs instead of feeding himself 😭 -can not down any amounts of alcohol ever without getting insanely drunk. one shot and he would pass out bro -hotshot was the first person he told about dating race, and he was NOT happy about that 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ -not because he’s homophobic just because he didn’t want to lose spot :(

SPRACE MY BELOVEDS

-race met spot at the races in brooklyn and nearly got beat up for being in his territory, but it was still love at first sight for both of them -so naturally, race came back the next day to say hi. they had like a normal conversation that time and settled on a compromise for race to be able to sell at the races but nowhere else. -they became pretty good friends and were still gay pining over eachother but theyre both dumbasses and didn't realize -race told jack about liking him, and jack nearly went all the way to brooklyn just to tell spot to keep his grubby paws off his brother -eventually they started dating, probably during or right after the strike -race still isn’t allowed to sell anywhere in brooklyn 💀 -race got caught in a storm once and spot forced him to stay in brooklyn for the night because he didn’t want him to get sick or cold (not that he would ever admit that ofc) race didn’t want to make jack worry, but he took it as an excuse to cuddle with spot so he did it anyways -race calls spot short all the time. like all the time. to the point where it’s annoying to everybody not just spot -cheek kisses, neck kisses, occasionally hand kisses but they’ve probably only kissed on the lips like once (they’re too panicky and nervous to do it again) -hotshot and jack are prolly like decent friends actually, just because they can bond over worrying for their gay little younger brothers

wow i love jededaius and octavious from the hit movie trilogy nihgt at tge musiem

i have like a lott LOTT less for them but let’s begin

-were never truly enemies, closer to rivals. they just felt like it was their duty to fight eachother and gave them something to do all night -octavius is a huge hopeless romantic, wrote a whole bunch of love poems about jedediah even before the feeling was mutual. jedediah eventually found them, good thing he can’t read, much less in latin 😀👍 -guYS PLEASE CAN YOU STOP MAKING THE WESTERNERS HOMOPHOBIC LET THEM BE HAPPY PLEASE (clearly they’re aware they’re museum exhibits so they’re definitely caught up on modern standards) -jed is asexual. yep -octavius literally cannot ride a horse idc if he’s a roman centurion he’s unable. that’s why they use the rc car instead of jed’s horse -they have movie night with the other exhibits once a week, and they always cuddle together away from the others :) -jedediah is really cocky and arrogant most the time, but is really sweet and gentle with octavius. probably brags about him

ok that’s it 😭 ik it’s not a lot but

TY FOR THIS ASK!

[borreloadsavagedragon]

alright tell all of us your thoughts about kaito :)

I did not forget… I have just been con crunching but now I’m free to become the worse

Minor Zexal and Arc V spoiling ahoy

How I feel about this character:

Oh no you’ve opened a floodgate… welcome to oversharing hour with Jay

I’m very normal about Kaito, just ignore the two full cosplays + the EVA foam Orbital work in progress I have mapped out, the wall scroll that’s at my work computer, my ita pin bag, and the fact that I’ve done everything I can to make his deck competitive viable and god dammit am I still trying please print this deck a god damn banger starter, Konami, I can’t keep doing this without your help-

Short story but I used to be suuuuper YGO Vrains favoring from 2020 into early 2022, but I found myself drifting from it because one can only tolerate so much subtweeting and catty behavior over personal preferences, and I’d never really finished Zexal before, just has a half baked idea how it ends, like I watched a chunk of it when it first aired but never finished and proceeded to forgot most of it, so I picked it back up after deciding to pick up Kaito to write in an RP server with some friends because I remembered liking him and… well I didn’t stand a chance when I got back to him fjdhdhd

I deeply relate to the theme of self-inflicted loneliness because it’s easier to be by yourself, just getting walked out on, left in the dark, or even being shafted for reasons out of my own control, I really get that

Also taking on too much if it means the people you love will be ok even if the ending result is you’re not ok, where he is after his Duel with Yuma at the end of Zexal I and getting to repair all of those relationships he was damaged by is where I want to get to in life

Bonus fact that’s minor spoilers for another spin off, but I’m… not a huge fan of his portrayal in Arc V, I like that he’s there and acknowledge that it’s a different Kaito and I love all Kaito Tenjos as they exist, including the Structures Cosplayer, but… yeah, not a fan, I’m a big fan of showing vs telling and Arc V to me feels like it’s ALL telling for all of its supporting cast most of the time

All the people I ship romantically

The better question is who I don’t honestly because that list is far smaller, but if I had to pick favorites I’m very partial to Ryouga, Mizael, and Edo-

Something about rivals to lovers resonates with my very being, even if Edo is less of a rival and more of an enemy until Arc V does it’s usual-

I’ve written for Challenge and AntiHero both already actually, my docs is 99% Challenge Wips that are slowly coming along tbh, and GalaxyMaster takes more time to write since most of those are… you know what I’m getting at LOL

I stg Gallop's one mission was to make Kaito Tenjo a dating sim protagonist because I have no other excuse for why they gave him so many boyfriends and even girlfriends across Zexal and Arc V, Yugioh’s surprising most eligible bachelor

My non-romantic OTP

nervous laughter

Chris.

I like to think of them more as divorcees who are just fine staying apart

Also gestures vaguely at the first answer

My unpopular opinion

I don’t know if I have many tbh, besides disliking Arc V’s rendition of him / not liking mentor at all lol— Like maybe how I genuinely believe he’s the strongest rival bc his record was the best even after he was put up against forces behind human understand and was even considered dying majority of the time of Zexal while remaining arguably mostly human, Zexal’s wack

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

Oh my god, the duel I hate the most in all of YGO is Kaito’s duel against Heartland because not letting Kaito win against someone who’s become representative of the garbage he was put through is SO UNSATISFYING

Yuma coming in and finishing it up is symbolic in its own right because of the importance of bonds, but to me that was and always should have been Kaito’s moment, let Yuma and Astral show up literally any other time and I’m fine with it

ALSO WE DON'T GET THE RYOUGA AND KAITO GRUDGE MATCH, though Kaito solos everytime, I’m so sorry Ryouga

[luvsavos]

12 and 30 for the peepaws naas and vul, a silly question and an interesting👀 question a perfect balance lmao also E and G i am making you work

oc questions ask game!

as always thank u for the ask<3

12: How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

iizthur: instead of doing anything rational, he just gets Salty about it LMAO, how dare it be in some place that he can't reach, absolutely Inconceivable smh

lokzii: like everyone Except Iizthur, if possible he'll find something to rub himself against to get rid of it, HOWEVER if that isn't an option he'll try his best to just Ignore It and wait for it to go away on its own, no matter how Loud it might be.... or just do the smart thing and ask another person to scratch it for him. somehow he is the Only One that thinks to do this

naas: if he can't rub himself against something to get rid of it (that likely only being in his human form, since i THINK a fatalis could reach every part of its own body somehow?? Think. i am not 100% on that), he'll probably rapidly get pissy over it, but he'd rather be pissy about it than ask someone else for help

vul: if she's not able to rub against something to get it to go away, she probably tries to make it go away via the supposed method of focusing Really Intensely on the itch to make it go away, with... mixed results™️. she somehow does not even think to just ask someone else to itch it for her. also i'm going to project onto her and say that if an itch is particularly bad if it DOESN'T get itched it'll actually cause muscle spasms, which she finds particularly annoying and undignified-looking

30: Who do they most regret meeting? 

iizthur: vul, absolutely no questions asked. bitch took his fucking eye!!!!! his whole shtick of conquering other monsters' territories and forcing them out to take for himself temporarily was going all fine and dandy until he met her and she not only refused to relinquish her territory but actively managed to beat him in every single confrontation they had. not only did she take his eye but she wounded his pride too and that's Unforgivable™️

lokzii: honestly? nobody, really (Yet). he's always been somewhat distant from others outside of his brother and his goddess, so he hasn't properly met anybody and known them well enough/long enough to consider himself genuinely regretting having met them.... though i'm sure that'll change soon<3

naas: do the Entire Ancient Civilizations count LMAO.... naas feels that if he had never been as fond of the ancient peoples as he was, and never intermingled so much and been so keen on not hurting them, even despite being a destroyer, that nothing of what happened to him would have happened---he wouldn't have gone to them in peace and thus given them the opening to capture him as he did; he would have been able to simply destroy them all without issue, and he would've never been captured and experimented on. humanity is, in his eyes, the five's greatest mistake

vul: there is TWO to this! iizthur, Obviously, but also another specific malzeno (a friend's oc<3) that's caused her no small amount of problems (see: spreading a vampiric plague and letting his qurio run rampant and then letting the blame get pinned on her bc she was the only other malzeno in the area at the time and, bc she prefers her true form and he was, at the time, in a human form, that led to assumption that it was her at fault) and emotional distress (see: literally fucking killing bahari at one point lmfao) and taken Extreme genuine glee in her distress

AND for the creator's questions!;

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

i would absolutely NOT get along with naas or iizthur nor would they get along with me; iizthur's a bitch, and i am a mortal which means naas would disdain me and be an asshole and i wouldn't like it ahdksjgk i DO think i would get along nicely with vul and lokzii though<3

vul and i would be able to have the 🤝 over The Tism and i think she'd greatly appreciate that i wouldn't be offput by how uncanny valley she is in her human form, nor would i react negatively to her in her true form (even though she would absolutely be incredibly intimidating), and lokzii is a very patient and laid back person, which i can vibe with and i think he'd vibe with me also being laid back; he would let me infodump about my hyperfixations and listen with genuine interest (and make us both some tea and a meal as well probably) and i would appreciate that So Much🥲

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

hooh boy!

iizthur? the fact that he keeps fuCKING SHOWING UP EVERY SINGLE TIME I'M IN THE GUIDING LANDS IN WORLD /hj

seriously there's like a 70% chance that when a monster rotates out he will replace it. or when i open the game and go to enter the gl he'll already be there. He Will Not Fucking Leave!!!!!!!!

lokzii: aside from the fact that i absolutely did not INTEND for him to be Depressed, he just kind of Decided that he Wanted To Be, Apparently (/lh), i think it's the fact that he's. FAR too patient and forgiving for his own good. while he can, obviously, be aggressive when need be---even if primordial malzeno are docile by nature, malzeno as a species still have latent, innate aggression and are Brutal when provoked---he tends to prefer to avoid fighting and conflict that isn't necessary, and can be. much more patient than he SHOULD be with others sometimes

naas; definitely his stubbornness and unwillingness to see other perspectives. to be Fair, that does absolutely stem from his trauma, but... Still. it's REALLY hard to get him to even be OPEN to an outside perspective; usually he'll just close off immediately and get defensive rather than listen

vul: i can't really think of anything off the top of my head for her honestly, maybe the fact that even when plainly presented with clear-cut evidence of gods existing (see: that one time when she Literally Met Xeno Face To Face) she just.... still Refuses to acknowledge or believe that deities exist. but tbh any "frustrating" things about her are just objectively really fucking funny so i can't even be mad about them bc girlie is just a hot mess of a dragon masquerading as being significantly more regal and well put together than she actually is LMAO

[cloudninetonine]

SPOILERS FOR THE BOTW 2 NAME

HEYYY!!! I sent a fairy!player ask earlier and how it might work with botw2, but upon reading the title "Tears of the Kingdom" I have something even better.

#1 answer is 🎉

KILL

So I'm thinking, people have been theorizing that Zelda dies during TotK, that's why she wasn't shown despite Link saving her at the end of BotW. Since at this point, player is well known throughout the centuries by guiding the legendary hero to defeat Ganon. I don't think society as a whole would take too kindly to hearing that they died (was hylia punishing them for failing her, was Ganon going to be freed once more, what if link is unable to save Hyrule without the guide)

Wild and player up and disappear just like last time, much to the dismay of Hyrule. Only this time, instead of coming back with scars into the embrace of the people they call family, player doesn't come back at all. I don't think Wild would even come back if I'm honest, too ashamed of getting their guide killed (in his eyes) to even face the rest of his brothers. Maybe the chain would have to see for themselves, forcing wild to confront his failures, only this time he remembers it crystal clear.

Imagine Hyrule, knowing who player was, having to be told that the one person that was there for him when no one else was died, he'd try to kill wild. Whether it was by the fault of dink or Ganon, wild is the only one who he can touch immediately. Ultimately, he doesn't succeed, but I don't think their relationship would bounce back immediately. Anything Hyrule has that was originally player's he keeps. Maybe it's a hoodie that still smells like them, a bracelet that he never takes off, or their cape that he wears no matter the impracticality.

If they did remember, While I don't think the reaction would be as extreme (or maybe they would judging sunset's contents). I do feel like there would be a cloud of dread surrounding the links, mix between 'their one shared guide is gone what do we do?' and 'one of our brethren just died how do I cope??'. In true link fashion, I don't think anyone would talk about it, esp not with Wild there in case he feels bad (which would make him feel worse). Eventually though they would sorta have to, tension was noticeable and one can only travel so long with a burden so heavy. Maybe they share memories. Maybe some cry. It hurts. But at least they have each other to lean on in harsh times.

I'm particularly interested in legend's, Wild's, and twilight's reaction.

Well established that legend and player probably spent the most time together, on and off. How would he take the death of his longest friend? Especially considering what happened in Koholint (and how player was the one other person that even knew of it's existence)?

Same with Twilight, how would he handle losing one of his closest friends again? How would he help navigate the rest of the teams in their grief as well as his own (bc let's be real, this mf helps others in order to ignore his own).

And wild, wild was there when it happened. Maybe he sorta got over it in his Hyrule, but having to face the chain and tell them would immediately rip open old wounds. Of failing Hyrule, failing Player, failing Mipha..

Anyway, maybe I'll write more later, but do anons have names here? If so, give, I want one but I don't want to mortifying ordeal of being known on main

Wow Anon, you sure know how to spit in my face and call me a useless piece of shit :) JK honestly this is such a heartbreaking au in all honesty, like, how cruel would it be.

Hyrule's reaction, I've got to agree with. Wild is his best friend, his brother- but he just lost one of the most important people to him (not his fault of course) and now Hyrule wants blood. Wild probably took some of the hits before the others were tearing Hyrule off him in an effort to calm him down. It doesn't work and now Hyrule refuses to even acknowledge Wild's presence at all.

The impressions from everyone else would be a gander, depending by this time if anyone else had remembered or not, but also the idea they start to remember after Player dies is also a heartbreaking one, someone they had longed for, dead and gone in the span of a moment.

Cruel is the only word that comes to their minds.

Also anon you go ahead and pick a name! Some anons do certainly have names!

[shurisneakers]

harmless (ix)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, sex jokes, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, anxiety

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: a lot of requests came in last week, so cool and thank you for sending them in!! i’ll try my best to write them if they weren’t originally what i had planned for this series bc they’re so cute kfjdghdf. also hey shoutout to @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ for suggesting the backstory thing! 

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Additional Scene   || Previous Part  || Series Masterlist

Hot single in your area! 😈  Find your solemate! 

Somehow it bypasses Bucky’s spam folder and is in his primary email. SHIELD tech is too advanced to let fake mails like this reach him and this doesn’t make sense. Unless it was one of the stupid dating websites he signed up for.

Leaving aside the obvious typo in the subject, he clicks on it, hoping it doesn’t unleash a virus onto his computer. 

He’s instead greeted with a poorly Photoshopped picture of you at a bar with a martini in your hand. He doesn’t have to look too hard to see that the martini is, in fact, an emoji. Off to a terrible start already. 

Right beside it is an even worse image, an imitation of an early Internet chat box.

Harbinger of Doom just sent you a message! 

Come to the empty lot near lair. Bring goggles. 😩💦

Decline/Accept

He wants to strangle you. 

______

“Why did you curse my eyes so early in the morning?” He spots you at the top of the lair, speaking loudly so that it hopefully reached you. 

“What?” you yell back down instead. “If you’re saying something, I can’t hear you.”

He rolls his eyes. He pulls his phone from his pocket and presses on your contact. 

He watches the look of confusion morph into one of slight surprise when you reach into your pocket and pull out your call.

“Don’t ever send an image like that to me again,” he says directly.

“If that one image is too much for you, how will we ever make our sex tape?”

His mouth opens and shuts like goddamn fish.

He can hear your laughter even without the phone.

“First of all- stop laughing- first of all, a sex tape is never going to happen. Second of all, I have a debriefing to go to, we need to make this quick.”

He holds up a finger when he sees you begin to say something. By the look of trouble painted all over your face, he knows it’s going to be a dumb innuendo. 

“Thirdly, why are you standing there?”

“I watched The Last Airbender,” you say once your cackling dies down.

“I like that show.” He did. Peter sometimes watched it when he came over and Bucky more often than not joined in.

“I know, you told me.”

Oh. 

“Okay, what now?” 

“Put your goggles on.” You take one step towards the ledge. 

“What are you doing?” The goggles don’t do anything to shield him from the sun, considering that they’re not tinted. Maybe he could invest in those.

You send him a smile, taking a step further. His walk towards the building turns into a jog, then a sprint when you’re basically standing on the edge.

You spread your arms out like Jesus Christ himself before flinging yourself off the building. His stomach drops.

His phone falls to the ground, discarded to the side as he sprints to break your landing. 

It never comes. 

Instead, a gust of wind smacks him in the face, forcing him a few steps backwards. 

“I am now an air bender.” your eyes shone. “Kind of.”

Just like that, the show was ruined.

He wipes the dust on from his glasses that he now understands why you made him wear. Considerate, for a person who nearly just gave him a heart attack. 

“Why.” It’s not even a question, just a statement. 

“You know how the Tower has a giant ‘A’ on the side?” 

He stares at you. 

“I‘m gonna spray paint ‘asshole’ on the side of it.”

Pepper would not like that. 

“That’s not even evil.”

“Yeah, but it’d annoy your super friends,” You do a flip midair, testing out the repulsors that were tied around your palms, “and I’m the voice of the people.”

You’re too high for him to reach. He doesn’t have his tools, or anything useful on him considering that he never had to use them before. He couldn’t even launch himself at you from the side of the building because you’d just move out of the way. He could jump really high but it would just have the same consequence.

He could talk and keep you distracted but that worked once, it wouldn’t again. At least not for long. 

Fuck, he really had only one option. 

He leaves you to do your somersaults and turns, walking over to where he dropped his phone. It’s an upgrade from the brick he was using a while ago, but not a high end Stark model. A smartphone, but barely.

He sighs, punching in the number and holding it up to his ear.

“Who are you calling?” you yell from above him. 

“Go back to your shitty aerobics,” he yells back.

You pause for a second. “Was that a fucking pun, James Bar-”

The dial tone ends when someone picks up. He diverts his attention back to the call.

“Hey man, I-

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish.”

“It’s probably something stupid,” Sam doesn’t even sound annoyed, just uninterested.

“I need your wings.”

“I was right. Bye.”

It was a long shot anyway.

“Fuckin’ hold on a second.” He sees you disintegrate a concrete block by having it drop from the air. “You come here and fix this, then. She’s air bending now.”

“...like Avatar?” Sam unsurprisingly got the reference. 

Peter’s interests were usually shared by everyone in the Tower, just because they had to compensate for the teasing he had to endure. It led to a lot of geeky documentaries and occasional musicals. Bucky wouldn’t be caught dead humming songs from Thoroughly Modern Millie under his breath. 

“Yeah.”

“You want me to come and fight your girlfriend,” he says slowly. 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Bucky urges, “and yes, I need help. Can’t exactly reach her when she’s twenty feet above me.”

“We have a briefing in 30 minutes. Why did you even go there today?”

He doesn’t know how to answer that. Just looks up at you smacking one of the repulsors against your thigh when it sputters for a second. It’s tradition. 

“Well?” Bucky ignores his question.

“Fine,” Sam’s voice is distant for a second as he agrees. “Clint’s asking if he can come too.”

“Fuck no.” One of them was more than enough and Sam was way better at negotiation. 

He hears a faint profanity from who he assumed was Clint before the call cuts.

He takes a seat on the ground and waits.

“You’re not going to make any effort to stop me?” You have your arms pressed to your side, palms pointed downwards to keep you afloat.

 “I could just throw things at you again.” He makes a mention towards the small pebbles.

“I will fuck you up if you even try,” you warn. He lifts his arms in surrender. “So that’s it. You’re just going to sit there.”

“To be honest, I couldn’t care less if you painted the building,” he says with the least amount of interest he could muster, not that that was very hard.

“Do you not like your team?” 

“I do.” He isn’t lying. “But they’re little shits.”

“I can draw a couple of dicks on their window, no problem,” you say offhandedly.

He looks up at you through his fingers. “That won’t be required.”

Although it was appreciated. 

“Cool, so then I’m gonna go.” You make a mention of the utility belt on your waist. He looks at the many spray cans that decorate it. 

“What colour are you going with?” he interrupts quickly. Fuckin’ Sam. What was the point of wings if he couldn’t get here in 2 minutes?

“Red, probably.” You look down. “I got purple and white just in case.”

“Building’s dark, red is good.”

“You really don’t care, do you?” You lower yourself down to the ground, a few feet ahead of him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” For fucks’ sake, Sam. “You really don’t like superheroes, do you?”

“I don’t have anything against them.”

“Then why do you do this every week?”

This was wading into personal territory and he did not like it. 

“Well.” Your eyebrows knit together. “Because I want to. It’s fun.”

“No other reason?”

“Do I need to have another reason?” You push your palm downwards, sending you back up into the air. “Can’t I just be evil because I want to?”

“Sure,” he says. He’s heard worse reasons. “Why not?”

“Besides, if you think I don’t like superheroes then you should meet Jake.”

“Who’s Jake?” He hadn’t ever heard you mention him before because he’d remember if you had.

“My roommate.” 

“I didn’t see him when I came over.”

“That’s because we’re not conjoined at the hip.” It takes you a second to stabilise. “Besides, he grabbed the water while I got the bracelet but he refused to come say hi.”

Bucky looked down at his wrist. It was still there. He found himself fidgeting with it more often than not.

“He hates superheroes?”

“He has a valid reason.” Your eyes widen in worry when your head suddenly dips. 

“What is it?” He knows the height at which you’re at isn’t very dangerous but if need be, he’s close by. 

“Come find out.” Your eyes shone mischievously. “But yeah, no reason for me to be evil.”

“Not even a tragic backstory?” 

“None. But if you want it, I can give you one, Barnes.” You test the waters, seeing how long you can lie horizontally. “Can’t promise you’ll like it though.”

“Try me.” He has time to kill. He’s a good listener.

“Well, it all started with my family- a troop of gorillas.” You flip over to lie on your back. “They practically raised me, they did. Until my gorilla mother died and I was all but consumed by grief and-”

“Your mother was a gorilla?” He entertains the notion. 

“Or was it my father?” you ask thoughtfully. “I don’t know, I don’t remember. Anyway, I met a-”

“Just to clarify, none of this is real, right?” he interjects. 

You stare at him. He stares at you.

“Bucky, that’s the plot of Tarzan,” you say slowly, “or at least whatever I remember of it... which I’m beginning to realise isn’t much.”

“Just clarifying.” He leans back again.

“Anyway so then when my mother, the deer-”

“Gorilla.”

“Whatever. Was killed, I escaped to some place-”

“Where?”

“Somewhere. And I stayed with these seven men-”

“Why seven?” He actually remembers watching this movie with his sister when it came out. An early memory, a bit faded. He remembers how long he saved up for the ticket.

“Because character development. And then I realised the reason my life was so weird was because there was a rat controlling me by pulling on my hair-”

“What the fuc-”

“If you ask any more questions, I’m going to stop.”

Bucky blinks at you. “So that’s your backstory.” 

“Raw and uncut, baby.”

“Just to get this straight, your mother, the gorilla deer-”

“Witch.”

“Huh?”

“She was a witch who stole my hair.”

“Wha-”

He’s interrupted by the giant shadow cast by something that flies overhead. 

Fucking finally. 

He doesn’t even have to look up. Sam does a small glide to the ground, landing gracefully beside him.

Bucky finds you speechless but straightened up from your earlier posture.

“Buck,” Sam greets him.

“Sam,” he says in return, getting up from his place. 

A grin spreads across your face. “Mr. Sam Wilson. No way.”

“You’re Y/N, I’m assuming?” Sam offers, posture relaxed. He clearly wasn’t here to fight. 

“The one and only.” You tear your eyes away from Sam to glare at Bucky. “Barnes, if you had told me we were expecting guests, I would have dressed better.”

Bucky furrows his eyebrows in suspicion at you. You’d dress up for Sam. 

You dressed up like a suburban tourist dad for him. He was feeling the offence incoming. 

“Can’t count on him to be useful in any situation.” Alright, he did not call Sam just to have the both of you team up against him. 

“Normally I’d agree with you but he did just invite you here, so...” you trail off, looking at Sam expectantly. 

What the shit.

Sam smirks. Bucky switches rapidly back and forth between the both of you.

“I see why Buck keeps coming back every week.” It doesn’t take long for him to catch on, enlisting a feeling of triumph from you. 

“I can’t see why he doesn’t just stay at home everyday if this is the view.” You gesture to him.

This is not what Bucky wanted.

“Okay,” Bucky interrupts, “what is going on here?”

“Pure chemistry, I’d say.” You’re half tempted to bite your lip to seal the deal.

“I agree.” Sam just nods, completely and utterly serious. 

You think that you’ll give him a gift basket just for playing along despite meeting you for the first time at that moment. 

“Get a room.” Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Maybe we will.” You tap your finger against your lip in thought. “How do you feel about Indian food, Sam?”

“Very positively.” 

Bucky grits his teeth. “If you’re not planning to spray paint the Tower, can you just hand over the repulsers so we can go home for the day?”

You let out a small tsk in disapproval. “See what I have to deal with?”

“Can’t imagine how you do it every weekend,” Sam says dryly, not wasting a second in replying. 

“Hello?” Bucky waves his arm around. “She’s the villain here.”

“Your face is the villain here.” You tear your eyes away from Sam only to glare at him. “He won’t even wear a cape. Why am I the only one who brings their A-Game every week?”

“Sam just get the damn-”

“You should wear a cape, man.” Bucky’s absolutely sure that even Sam knows it’s a ridiculous idea.

“I’m not wearing a fuckin’ cape,” he grumbles. 

“What are your thoughts on swords, then?” Your finger finds a place under your chin in deep contemplation. “You’d look great with a sword.”

Bucky buries his face in his palms. “Sam, for the love of God.” 

“Okay, alright.” Sam finally gives in with a small chuckle. He runs a few steps to get a small head start before launching himself into the air, whizzing past your levitating figure. He does a neat little flip midair before matching your height.

Showoff.

“How difficult are you gonna make this, Wilson?” you ask, a smirk on your face.

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky exhales, looking at the both of you through his goggles. 

“What’s your play here?” Sam calls out loudly.

“Was gonna spray paint ‘asshole’ on the side of the Tower.”

“After the ‘A’?”

“After the ‘A’,” you confirm. 

“Now that’s too small,” Sam tutted. “You gotta think bigger. Paint the whole Tower.” 

“Sam!” Bucky looks horrified. 

“Hmm.” You look like you’re considering it. “Don’t have enough paint for that though.”

“You’re an evil genius, right?” Sam casts a small glance at Bucky. “At least that’s what he tells me.”

“You talk about me?” You grin at the disgruntled man on the ground. 

“I don’t,” he mutters, shaking his head. A lie.

“Yeah, so build something,” Sam points out. “Get some more paint. I’ll even tell you the best vantage points to spill it.”

“No, he won’t,” Bucky shouts from below. 

“He’s just cranky because he didn’t get his prune juice this morning, ignore him,” Sam dismisses him.

Prune juice? He was a young 100, not ancient. 

“What’s your favourite colour, Falcon?”

“I like red.”

As annoyed as Bucky is right now, he stores that away in his memory for later. He also knows Sam loves seafood and a good pair of shoes. 

“A couple of gallons of red paint it is, then.” You lower yourself to the ground, Sam slowly follows suit until he lands beside Bucky.

“You know we can’t let you go without taking those, right?” Bucky tilts his head towards your invention.

You narrow your eyes at him. He doesn’t budge.

“I’ll tell ya what,” Sam pipes in instead. “I’ll keep them until you finish getting the paint and once you’re done, we’ll make an evening out of vandalising the Tower.” 

Bucky may not enjoy his company all that much but he admires Sam’s diplomacy. Of course, you would never make it this easy while reasoning with him.

“That a promise, Mr. Wilson?” You raise your eyebrow at him questioningly but are already in the process of removing the things from your hand. 

“Wouldn’t ever lie to you, doll.” He holds up his hand in a mock swear.

You walk towards Bucky and him, rotating your wrists to get rid of the soreness. “Bold claim for a man who met me ten minutes ago.”

“Feels like it’s been longer.” He sends you a wink and you can’t stop the laugh the escapes from you finally. 

Bucky holds his hand out for the gadgets. You shrink away from him with a click of your tongue.

“Technically, he takes this round.” You send a nod towards Sam, dropping off the repulsors into his hand. “So he gets it.”

Bucky rolls his eyes.

“You gonna keep ‘em safe?” you ask Sam, this time a little more earnestly. 

“Guard it with my life,” he says seriously, pressing his lips together in a line to avoid smiling. 

“You’re both ridiculous,” Bucky cuts in.

“You’re going to be late.” Sam tucks the devices into his pocket safely. “You know how Steve gets when people walk in on his speeches. Do you even have a ride?”

“Got the motorcycle.” 

“See you there.” Sam nods. 

“Save me a place,” Bucky says to him.

“No.” He doesn’t even hesitate. “Y/N. It was a pleasure.”

“Still holding you to that evening, Sam.” You send him a smile.

“I’m countin’ on it.” He gives you a small three finger salute before taking off, leaving you staring after his retracting figure. 

When the dust settles, Bucky awkwardly clears his throat. “Right. So that was that.”

“Dude,” you let out an exhale. “he’s so hot.”

He murmurs something unintelligible. It vaguely sounds like a series of threats but mostly a list of complaints.

“Don’t you have a meeting to get to?” You turn your attention back to him.

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you going to be late?” You glance at the clock on your phone.

“I’ll just tell them I was on a mission.” Well, sort of. “Besides, what are they gonna do? Kick me out?”

“Fair enough.” You shrug. “Have a safe ride back.”

From what he knows of you and Sam, the both of you were kidding around. But he could never be too sure. He can’t even ask if you were serious about the entire thing because it’s none of his business. 

Were the implications of having his mortal nemesis and other mortal nemesis date important enough to overrule that? 

“Are you planning to skip your meeting, or?” you ask when he remains freezes in his spot, eyes glazed over like he’s thinking about something. “Because if you are, I know this great Thai place-”

“Don’t do that again,” he says instead, shaking his head to jolt him out of his thoughts. 

“What?”

“Flinging yourself off roofs like that.”

“Why?” Because it scared the hell out of him, for one.

“Just don’t.”

“Oh please, like you’ve never done dangerous shit like that before.” You narrow your eyes at him, reading his face. “Are you telling me you care about me?”

“No.” His nose twitches. “Just don’t throw yourself off buildings when I’m around.”

“What about when you’re not?”

“As long as I’m not there to witness it.” He shrugs, spinning on his heel to leave. Technically he preferred if you didn’t do things like that at all. 

“Fine. I’ll just have my clone try out all the dangerous stuff for me.”

 He stops in his tracks. “You have a clone?”

“Well,” You squint, “no. But I’m working on it.”

He scoffs, shaking his head. “Bye Y/N.”

“You know, it sounds an awful lot like you’re saying we’re friends.” Your whole demeanour changes and he already knows what’s coming.

“I never said that,” he argues vehemently. “All I said was that I can’t have your murder on my hands.”

“Thus implying that we’re friends. In a fucked up, enemies kind of way.” You positively beam at him. “Aw, Barnes, that’s adorable.”

Adorable? Adorable?

“I hate you.”

“I love you, too, bestie,” you gush, dumb grin on your face. “I’ll make us friendship rings next time. What are your thoughts on matching tattoos?”

He wants to cry. 

______

By the time Sam walks into the meeting room, the session’s already begun. He shoots an apologetic look to a monologuing Steve before taking his place at the nearest chair available. 

Something sharp pokes his thigh. His wings are off and in the backpack beside him, but then he remembers your little inventions that were still in his pocket.

He tries not to make much of a noise while he pulls them out, giving them a look over to make sure they’re not broken.

“Watcha got there, Big Bird?” Tony asks lowly from beside him.

“Something that Barnes’ enemy made.” Sam holds it up slightly. 

“The one he’s been rendezvousing around town with every weekend?” 

“That’s her.” He’s about to put it in his backpack when Tony stops him.

“Pass that here for a second.” He recognises it immediately for what it is, interest piqued. 

Sam hands one of them over while he puts the other back in the bag. It’s a metallic circle, not bigger than Tony’s palm, with a thick leather strap to tie it around your palm.

“She made this?” 

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sam mentions towards Bucky who silently slips into the conference room, standing in the corner near the potted plant since there were no more chairs left.

“The balance has gotta be off on this thing,” he mutters to himself, wholly ignoring the brooding man standing in the corner like a Christmas tree.

“She seemed to be manoeuvring it fine,” Sam catches the eye of a lower ranking agent who makes the mistake of glaring at him for talking while the meeting was going on. A few seconds later the agent hastily looks away and doesn’t turn around for the rest of the hour. 

“Could be better.” He uses a much more intricate model for his suits, although this isn’t even half-bad for a homemade version. “Do you know how long she took to make this?”

“Buck says she comes up with a new one every week, so I’m guessing that long.” 

It had a few glitches but it was incredibly refined for a week’s worth of work.

“Interesting.” He gives it a quick overlook before handing it back to Sam who drops it into the bag.

He casts a swift glance at Bucky, noting how he wasn’t even paying attention to the meeting but rather to whatever he had tied around his metal wrist, fidgeting with it with his thumb. 

Tony has an idea. 

And that was generally bad news.

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