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#but i also dont want to work my ass off to get into a school with a low acceptance rate
francy-sketches · 4 months
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I'm gonna have to work on my final project non stop for like a month straight bc I procrastinated on it too much fuck my stupid baka life
#.txt#also I have to do a movie pitch for it bitch it's an amv with intentionally one dimensional characters 😭 tf do I even say about it#at least the characters are like. knockoff jaime and tommen so its almost like im drawing asoiaf fanart#unfortunately I've come to hate them. the knockoffs I mean#I wanna change the designs a bit so they dont resemble my blorbos as much. i think im gonna give the kid darker hair#ok well discount jaime just looks like him with 2 hands and a blue cape 💀and I cant change him atp#my worst mistake was giving him like. a solid metal skirt armor thing bc its a pain in the ass to animate#at the start of the year I had the most work done out of everyone how did this happen#its bc they started nitpicking the story and I kinda lost motivation to work on it lke this shit is stupid. and cringe#by they I mean the extra screenwriting teachers we had a couple lessons with which like. this is an animation course not a writing course#I'd get it if it was like. a full time school but we have 2 3 hour classes a week we dont have time for this shit man#ig my mistake was that my idea didn't start from the story it started from the song I wanted to make a cool music video for it#its not that the story is nonsensical or anything its just a very basic fairytale esque thing nothing groundbreaking#'but you're not SAYING anything with this' I'm not trying to omg just let me make my little amv :(#does everything need a plot twist or to subvert expectations is it not enough that it looks cool#there's a couple people who are worse off than me in terms of how much they've done but also theres a couple that are nearly done#looking at them like god I wish that were me.....#and also I think I accidentally overwrote a shot I worked on for 3 hours. killing myself#maybe I can restore a previous version but its on the school computer and the school is closed for a week so im not gonna know until then
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the-kneesbees · 5 months
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what if I just don't go to college and live at the bottom of a pond instead
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yo9urt · 5 months
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its crazy how being in a union will remind you that the people above you do not care for you as a person at all and only care about money
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prettyboykatsuki · 6 days
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call it quits or call it destiny | h. umemiya.
✮ tags ; afab + fem!reader(she/her pronouns, referred to as a girl, gets dressed up by tsubaki and kotoha), reader gets their hair braided (no desc of texture) and puts on makeup, lore heavy reader backstory + personality, deliquent!reader, gap moe, best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, themes of insecurity, mutual pining,the use of she/her for tsubaki, jealousy, confessions, loss of virginity, creampies / unprotected sex, oral (f!recieving), fingering, 18+
✮ wc ; 13.9k (dont. don't say anything)
✮ a/n ; me when i completely lose my mind because i have a weekend off. whats wrong with me.
anyways. there's no major triggers for this but be forewarned reader is meant to be very rag-tag deliquent type. she has a strong personality and generally is not feminine. she is like a mangy street cat a bit. also if u want u should listen to easily by bruno major while reading.
✮ synopsis ; you've been quietly pining for umemiya for a little over ten years with no plans of confessing.
you did not have a plan for what you would do if umemiya confessed to you first.
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Once a day, everyday - Umemiya will come into your store, pause, smile, and confess his love to you before going off on his own.  
And once a day, everyday, you reject this confession with a soft huff  telling him to quit being stupid before shooing him away.  
It's become a ritual. A fixture in your daily routine that you're not allowed to ignore despite how hard you're trying.  
He's been doing it for three months, more or less. 
His reason for confessing everyday? Because he’s waiting on the day you confess back, of course. Which you've refused to do for the last few months and will continue to refuse for as long as you’ve got.  
It's not because you don't like him, alright? 
You've known Umemiya since middle school and you've liked him for about the same time. One of the core memories of your childhood is the day you met him, crying while sitting on a  swing-set, after what felt like the worst day of your life. 
( On the day you run away from home, you seriously consider not going back.  
You don’t really know how long you sit there. People walk by but most of them move on quickly. It’s mid-day before anyone bothers to stop and ask you something.  
 "I've never seen you around  before.” A strange looking boy approaches, friendly and unassuming but not entirely cheerful “Did you just move here?"  
You keep quiet, closing your eyes and hoping your lack of response is enough to push him away. Your hope fizzles out when you hear the swing creak as he sits besides you. 
"I'm Umemiya Hajime. I live close by." His voice is airy and causal. "I'm sorry you're having a bad day.”  
"Fuck off," You reply bluntly, frowning. “I don’t need sympathy. Leave me the hell alone.”  
He pauses before pushing himself slightly forward to barely swing.  
“I couldn’t leave you alone while you’re sad,” He voices willfully. "It might make you feel better to talk about it." 
In disbelief at his response, you finally look up and asses him properly. It doesn’t do much to change your initial unfavorable impression. White hair, blue eyes and a little taller than you. You’re definitely about the same age. All of that to say, there’s something weird about him that you can’t quite place.  
Despite his manner and way of speaking though, you don’t actually think he’s that weak which makes his whole aura even more unnerving to you. His attempt at being non-threatening doesn’t work for him. He’s being a real try-hard about trying to make you comfortable… 
Either way, he’s got an air about him that puts you on the defensive.  
 Talking to someone about it had never been much of any option, and somehow it pisses you off that he’s being so brazen about it.  
Maybe if you tell him about, he’ll stop prying into your business. Or maybe you’re just looking for excuses to let off steam. 
You don't care anymore. You wipe your nose with the back of your sleeve.  
"I don't live here and I didn’t move. I ran away." You reply.  
He keeps looking at you, curious, inquisitive and sympathetic.  
"Why?"   
"I broke a girls nose." You scowl. The words rise up in your throat like bile. Make you feel cornered. The wounds too fresh. "It—she bullied me for years for one. And I never fought back, it was all petty bullshit anyway and I didn't like getting calls home. I didn't care about that but she—it wasn't for nothing. She was causing trouble for Sensei."  
Umemiya keeps to himself, humming in response to your troubles. Your voice breaks on your next sentence, chest tightening.  
"It doesn't matter what she does to me but—" Your hands ball up at your first. Your throat feels thick, eyes suddenly watering as your chest throbs . "Anyway, I couldn’t let it go like normal."  
He hums. "So you hit her?" 
You shake your head, sniffling. "Not at first. Just told her to shut up. Said that she didn't know what she was talking about. She hit me first..." You screw your eyes shut, sighing. "...said she was gonna spread rumors about him just trying to get under my skin and be malicious,” You lean back slightly and look up towards the gray sky. “I punched her after that."  
You realize he's looking at your bloodied knuckles, but he isn't making an expression that you can read easily. You don’t remember the last time you spoke to someone like this who wasn’t Tsukimori-sensei.  
"Are you crying because you got in trouble?"  
“Who cares about that?” You sigh “Sensei had to put his job on the line and take responsibility for me,” Your brow furrows in frustration. “He’s the one person I don’t want to cause trouble for,” You grip the iron chains of the swing set with a closed fist and finally admit what you’ve been avoiding to say out loud. “I don’t want him to hate me…”  
The kid besides you smiles  absently at your words. Half-way between listening and recalling something else, it seems like. You can’t help but wonder what the hell his deal is. You barely know him but you’re spilling your guts. 
He speaks after a long while. "I don't think he sees it that way. I think you should try to talk to him about it."  
You make a face, rejecting the idea. "What? No way." 
Umemiya shrugs, smiling - though it doesn't quite meet his eyes.  
"He sounds like he cares about you. If he knew your reasons, there's no way he would hold it against you. And it’s important to share your burdens with people who care for you." You look over and see him smiling somberly at the mulch beneath his shoes before returning back to what you’ve grown to know as his usual self. "Anyways, I think we should be friends. Tell me your name."  
You sniffle again. What a weird guy. Well you say that but 
You still give him your name. 
"What a pretty name," 
When you tell him to shut up again, your new friend Umemiya just laughs.  
And you find you feel just a little bit lighter.)  
That night, Umemiya walked with you to take the last train and told you to come see him again  with good news. 
You aren't sure what compelled you to follow his advice. Maybe because he was the first person who sat down and listened to you about it other than Sensei himself. 
Tsukimori-sensei was your school counselor and the only adult in your entire life that seemed to worry about. You didn't have any friends in middle school and you were a scary looking delinquent girl without a mother and a mostly absent father.  
But Sensei was always incredible gentle to you and incredibly kind. And despite what rumors that girl tried to spread  - he was never anything more than an important mentor.  
It was fucking embarrassing crying in front of him but because you were honest - you got to keep in touch with him. He attended your middle school and high school graduation - supporting you as you started to sort your life out. Became the closest thing you ever really got to a parental figure.  
Over time, you got close with Umemiya and developed strong loyalty to him. You attended an all-girls middle and high school the next town over - totaling one other friend in all six years of your remaining education. Lack of socialization meant that Umemiya somewhat became the very center of your existence. 
It was easy to visit him thanks to parental neglect. You sort of melted into his life. Tsubaki once called you his guard dog as a half-joke, but there's some truth to the sentiment. Quick to defend, quick to heel, and always happy to see him.  
You, like many people, owe Umemiya a lot. His meddling over the course of ten years gave you reason to push forward. He even encouraged you to try and attend school and not give up on living a half-decent life. 
You've got a never-ending list of short-comings but being with him didn't make you hate yourself. It made you want to be better because you knew Umemiya would accept you for whoever you decided to be.  
So despite your delinquency, you managed to graduate high school. Post-graduation, you attended a vocational culinary school and became a patisserie before moving to Furin for permanent residency. You opened a bakery and supply bread to Kotoha-chans diner.  
You made something of your life mostly 'cause of Umemiya. He's not your only friend anymore but he's still your best. Even though you never really pictured things like dating or romance - in some way it only makes sense that it'd be that meddling, kind-hearted idiot that you end up falling for it.  
Lovesickness aside, you respect Umemiya more than anyone in your personal life.  
He’s stuck around with someone like you this long after all. That means a lot to you.  
Somehow the two of you mesh well despite being totally opposite.  
You decided as soon as you realized it sometime in high school that you'd keep your feelings a secret for the rest of your life. You had a strong resolve in your beliefs about the whole thing which made it easy. You hid 'em so well even Sakura's stupid accurate romance detector didn't uncover them.  
When you picture Umemiya's future - it was easy to picture the kind of woman he would end up with. Another kind-hearted idiot like him, a social butterfly. Someone a little softer.  
In any case it definitely was not you. You didn't need it to be. You've received so much from him already, you never entertained the idea. Plus, Umemiya has dated other people over the years, so in your head there was never any hope to cling onto.  
For all reasons listed above, a requited romance is at the very bottom of your expectations.  
That's why you've been in this fucking conundrum.  
To say it was a complete shock to you when Umemiya openly confessed to you many months ago would be understatement of the goddamn century.  
He confessed right on the last day of Spring, totally out of the blue. 
(It’s a little unusual for Umemiya to call you at this hour. If it were anyone else, you’d be a little upset since you’ve gotta be up around four-am to get prepared for the day.  
It’s him though so you’re particularly tolerant, yawning as you find Umemiya on a familiar swing-set, still wearing your PJ’s.  
"Why am I out here in the middle of the night with you?"  
Your words lack any real malice as you sit down. Umemiya remains totally quiet. It's unusual for him to not immediately go on a tangent upon seeing you.  
"Oi. Earth to Hajime." You frown at him. "Did ya get beat up before coming here and scramble your brain? Give me the popsicle before it melts."  
He looks over at you and chuckles as he hands you the bag from the convenience store. You ignore his odd behavior and open up said popsicle before it melts  - carefully splitting it down the middle and giving him the bigger side before going to town on your own. He takes it from you but doesn't even bring it up to his mouth.  
Weird.  
"Did something... happen? Like seriously happen?" You take a long lick of your iced treat. It's melon flavored, your favorite. "Seeing you frown doesn't feel right. Gives me the heebie-jeebies."  
He cracks a little smile at that. It makes you feel better. He shakes his head.  
"Mm, nothing happened. I just have something I want to tell you."  
You nod in understanding. "'kay. Take your time."  
He blinks, surprised.  
"Hm? Aren't you gonna scold me for wasting your time?"  
"Nah. Whatever it is must be serious if it's making you all introspective or whatever. 's fine. Bring me coffee tomorrow and I'll forgive ya."  
His lip twitches up. "I l really like that about you."  
You feel yourself flush and wave a hand at him. "Ahh, shut up."  
He pauses for a second then shakes his head. "Mm. It's more like I like everything about you, actually."  
You twist your face in confusion. "What are you on about now?"  
"That's what I came here to tell you." Umemiya says after a deep breath. He says it so casually you wonder if you're mishearing him - leaning back to look up at the stars. "I really, really like you. I just felt like I had to tell you that"  
You stare at him in disbelief.  
"Wha—huh?"  
He doesn't even flinch as he repeats it.  
"I like you."  
"No the hell you don't."  
He furrows his brow with a light laugh. "I just told you that I do, silly."  
"But that's—" You don't say the word impossible. You really want too, but you know exactly how he would react if you did. You simply shake your head. "No, you don't." 
"I thought you might respond like this so don't worry but how about you?" He shrugs then looks at you intently. "I thought you might like me too."  
Your eyes go wide. Oh fuck.  
You feel like a deer caught in headlights. You know you should be happy about this, deep down. That'd be the normal response.  
But you just feel complicated as shit instead. Fuck does he mean? Umemiya.... likes you? There's just no way that's true. Not after all of this time. And how the fuck does he know you like him back when you've been keeping it in? 
You can't bring yourself to look him in the face and lie. Your heart rises to your throat as you shakily stand to your feet.  
"Stop...thinking whatever you've been thinking. I'm going home." You reply in complete panic. 
 The minute you say it, you turn on your heel so you don't have to look at his face. You don’t even want to know.  
And before Umemiya can catch you and try to talk it out, you bolt. 
What the fuck was that?)  
For the last few months, you've been avoiding the topic of conversation as much as you humanly can.  
The possibility of Umemiya even just accepting your feelings was already far beyond your imagination, but him returning them? Confessing first? That wasn't even in your realm of possibility.  
Ever since then, you've been losing your mind trying to force your life and train of thought to go back to normal. You’ve done all of the math on it.  
Realistically, you can't ignore him. Your lives are so mixed together it'd be impossible unless you went under protection and changed your name which you briefly considered. You thought of turning him down but you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t be able to actually do it despite how good you are at keeping it in. Either way, your best option logistically is feigning ignorance and trying to keep the whole thing out of your mind entirely which should've been easy.  
Tricking yourself into believing the whole thing was a dream? Lightwork.  
Except. Except.  
Umemiya just won't give up.  
He confesses to you again every single day. Worse, he doesn't care whose around to hear him. No one in your friend group seems even the tiniest bit shocked by it which doesn't help the situation. You can't get used to it, can't get used to him being so fucking cheeky as he stops you midway through normal conversation to tell you he loves you.  
He's persistent to a fault and while you've done well feigning immunity - you can't survive like this.  
You've graduated to tell him to go away and treating the whole thing like some big joke.  
But honestly? 
You're avoiding having a proper conversation about it. Umemiya is especially keen in not letting you forget that. And determined to make you confess.  
But you're not going to to let him sway you.  
You've got principles, after all.  
__  
After you close up shop on Friday, you get dressed to attend a kickback with all of your friends.  
It's a barbecue technically - commemorating the end of summer. Togame is really into grilling and in their weird domestic partnership, Chouji really enjoys hosting. They've done this once or twice a year ever since they started living together.  
Once you've finished cleaning up the store, you take the train to Kotoha's place - mistakenly assuming you'd leave as soon as you got there. However you failed to realize that Tsubaki and Kotoha would be getting ready together.  
You got jumped as soon as you walked through the door - so now you're wearing a different pair of clothes that Tsuabki got for you and waiting for them to finish getting you dressed up so you can leave.  
Tsuabkino is inches from your face while Kotoha braids your hair. You feel itchy and exposed but with both of them here there's no way you're going to get out of wearing it. 
"Can we just go?" You grumble, not enjoying the feeling of being poked and prodded.  
"No," Tsubaki insists, frown making her expression pinch. "You have half an eyelash on. Sit still." 
"He'll be happy to see you dressed up," Kotoha adds, trying to encourage you. You frown and look down.  
"Whatever. I don't care about makin' him happy."  
The both of them pause and stare at you until you fold under the pressure - screwing your eyes shut and making you flush.  
“Such a blatant lie.”  
Tsubaki giggles. “Right?”  
Your face feels hot. "Ahhh, alright already. Shut up."  
"Honest girls are much cuter," Tsubaki coos. You give her a half-assed glare.  
"Don't you like Hajime? Why're you trying to set me up with him still?" You mumble. You always think they’d make a perfect pair.  
"Of course I like him. He's my prince." She smiles at you. “But it’s a little different to how a certain someone loves him. And well, if you knew the way he looked at you…"  
You frown, feeling hot all the way up to your ears as you ball your fists up and look down at your lap. "Whatever." 
"You should stop trying to worm your way out of it," Kotoha adds, much less sweetly. "You know how he is. He couldn't give up on you for ten years like some idiot."  
You blink. "Huh? But ten years would mean -"  
Kotoha braids your hair even tighter making you wince. "I know. You're both stupid like that."  
"Don't be mean, Kotoha-chan. And you, be a little more honest, okay?"  
You sigh deeply. 
"Ain't like anything is gonna happen either way. I already told you both I'm not accepting his confession," 
"Cause you're a huge wuss, yeah we know."  
You elbow Kotoha lightly.  
"Maybe nothing will," Tsubaki hums mischievously.  "But it feels nice to dress up for him, right?"  
You pretend the thought doesn't make your hear flutter.  
Tsubaki does you the kindness of laughing lightly before moving on. 
__  
You arrive to the function an hour later than planned and stick mostly with Kotoha and Tsubaki until half way through the evening.  
Loosening up with a few drinks, the three of you part ways to catch-up with different people. It's not rare you see them, but it's not often everyones schedules allow them to be in the same place.  
Lucky for you, Umemiya does you the courtesy of not confessing during the first half of the night before food comes out.  
(Though you do spit beer in his face after he calls you pretty, which he takes on the chin after cleaning up.)  
After dinner, the function simmers down significantly. People quietly break off into groups and chat to each other into the late night. About that time people split whatever desserts they brought among guests.  
You brought cookies and something specifically for Chouji and Togame as thanks for hosting.  
Towards the end of the night, you find yourself sticking sort of close to Umemiya. Though he's having his own one-on-one conversation with Hiragi while sitting next to you , turned the other way.  
You busy yourself catching up to Suo, Sakura and Nirei - all of whom you consider yourself close to.  
Of them, you're the closest to Nirei which always surprises people. 
The kids a total wimp but he helped you years ago study to graduate so you're a little closer to him than everyone else. He's a great guy though and you hang out alone sometimes too.  
The conversations gone far left at this point in the evening.  
Suo leans back against his chair and looks toward Sakura besides him with a lazy smile.  
"Sakura-chan would make a great wife." 
You snort listening to them bicker. Sakura grows beet red, throwing an empty beer can at Suo's head that he catches gracefully.  
"Go die."  
"What? You're good at domestic work and you have a cute side, Isn't that all you need?"  
"Shut up. I'll kill you."  
As Suo breaks out into laughs, Sugishita comes down from the kitchen just in time to catch the argument. He crinkles his nose up.  
"Oh, Sugishita-kun. 'Sup."  
He nods to your greeting as he leans against the wood railing of the outdoor deck.  
"What the hell are you two talking about?" 
'What? You mean about Sakura being a good wife?" Suo asks. Sugishita crinkles his nose. 
"Don't phrase it so repugnantly but yeah I guess." 
"We were talking about marriage 'cause I was complaining at work."  
"What's happening at work?" 
Nirei sighs as he lays it out again to Sugishita after having given the spiel to the three of you once.  
"One of my superiors at work is a lot older than me and keeps bringing up marriage," Nirei explains woefully. "It's all he talks about. He thinks I'm seeing someone."  
Sugishita frowns. "Eh? What gave him that impression?"  
A good question you hadn't considered asking.  
You raise your brow at Nirei who laughs awkwardly while he holds your gaze.  
"You know that picture of us from highschool? When he came to the cafe at your school festival?"  
You smile spitefully, crinkling your nose in faux distaste. "The one wear we wearing those stupid maid costumes?"  
"Yup. That's the one. It's a good picture of us so I keep it on my desk and he saw it so..."  
"You keep a picture of just the two of you on your desk? No wonder he got that impression.” Suo adds.  
You sense Umemiya suddenly tense which you find weird. He's still talking to Hiragi though when you glance from the corner of your eye. You brush it off.  
Nirei blushes, elbowing him.  
"Shut up. I've got group pictures and stuff too. But he just singled out that one cause you know,"  
You nod in understanding before it dawns on you. Your eyes widen. "Oh, shit? Does that old man think you're dating me?"  
Nirei closes his eyes and sighs. "He won't even let me correct him." 
You pause before breaking out into genuine laughter.  
"Pfft, that's terrible." You reply sympathetically, taking a sip of your beer before giving a mischievous grin. "Maybe you can make it work for you though, eh? Tell 'em we got hitched forreal and then I'll call you on the phone and nag you to get home for dinner so you can leave earlier."  
Nirei acts like he's touched making you laugh even harder. "You'd do that for me?"  
You give him another toothy grin. "I'll even help you fake some wedding photos. We'll be accomplices." You lean back with a shrug. "You gotta wear the dress though." 
Sugishita laughs at that. "You being a blushing bride is a little..."  
You snort, shooting him a dirty look "Shut up."  
"Deal. Not a bad plan honestly." Nirei says with a sigh. "Whatever gets me out of the office early."  
"Even if that means being married to me?" You joke.  
He smiles at you. "Aw, what do you mean? That's the best part."  
You chuckle at him good-natuedly and the conversation quickly moves on.  
The alcohol is starting to make you dizzy so you eventually tune out as the four of them talk, glancing at Umemiya from the corner of your eye.  
You swear you catch a glimpse of his jaw ticking.  
__  
For the rest of the night, Umemiya is off.  
No one else can tell. You know that because the atmosphere remains light until everyone leaves around two-am. There's no blips or tension, no awkward pauses. 
But you know Umemiya. He's been real weird all night and it's bugging the shit out of you.  
It's a well past two now, and you've just left the late night cab you took with him. Umemiya lives close so he's walking you home.  
He's usually energetic after a get-together like that so his dead silence is weirding you out. You're pretty good at figuring his feelings out but for once you feel totally clueless.  
It feels as if even the cicadas and crickets have gone to sleep. There's nothing bu the streetlights overhead and soft glow of the moon, coupled with the soft click of your shoes on the pavement. Occasionally, a car will pass by.  
At one point, it becomes too much. There's still a few minutes until you're home.  
You stop in the middle of the sidewalk and turn around to look at him. Umemiya pauses, startled as he stops with you, and doesn't smile which only makes your concern worsen.  
"Oi. What's up with you?"  
"Hm?"  
You cross your arms over your chest.  
"Don't 'hm' me. You've been in a bad mood few for the last few hours. It's gonna bug me all night if I don't ask, so what's up?"  
He stares at you.  
"You noticed?"  
"How could I not notice?"  
"I was hiding it pretty well, I thought." He states more than asks, half-smile on his face.  
"Yeah. But well," You shrug. "I'm always looking at you for better or for worse. So. What's wrong?"  
He stares at you a long time before sighing, running his fingers through his hair. You've never seen him like this. You've seen him pissed off before, seen him mildly irritated - but never this... pouty? It's not like he's pissed.  
He's quiet, taking a deep breath of cool night air before sliding his hands into his pockets and taking a good look at your face. 
"Do you know that I like you?"  
Your eyes widen as you blink wildly.  
This is what he wants to talk about? 
He pins you down with his stare, hands in his pockets and intense as ever.  
"Don't even think about bolting this time, okay? I'm asking you seriously. Do you?" 
Your eyes flicker down the concrete - feeling extremely uncomfortable and suddenly sweaty. You shrug, unsure of what else you could say or do.  
"Hard not to know." You mumble. "You tell me everyday." 
"But do you get it?"  
Your frown deepens.  
"Of course not. How could I possibly get something like that, stupid?"  
He takes a deep breath. "But you like me, don't you?"  
Panic sets in. If you could sink straight into the Earth you would.  
"...Never said that." 
He calls your name quietly. "Look at me, at least. Stop running away from me and just look." 
You know you're being stubborn but you can't help it. You've kept it a secret for ten years and all of a sudden he wants you to tell him you like him? You've held it in for so long already and he's telling you not to run away.What other choice is there?  
One wrong move move and everything will come crashing down inside of you. You can't even lie about it either.  
Damn it.  
"I won't look." Your voice is warbly and it makes you feel so pathetic you could die, tucking your chin petulantly "Don't wanna,"  
Umemiya frowns at you.  
"If you say you don't like me I'll let it go."  
You remain very quiet and close your eyes tighter. He sighs softly, making your chest hurt.  
After a minute, you muster up the courage to be dishonest - determined to drop it at all costs. You're slow as you pick your head up.  
"I don't like you," You repeat slowly, carefully - trying not to stumble the words. "So quit it, alright?"  
He laughs humorlessly and holds your gaze.  
"That's the first time you've ever actually lied to me. You're terrible at it," 
"I'm not lying." You snap. Umemiya smiles somberly when he sees tears on the corners of your eyes. He steps closer to you. You freeze. When his hand reaches cups your cheek, you feel your legs lose all their strength and close your eyes. You're terrified to even look at him, not wanting him to see what you know is obvious on your face.  
He wipes them as he tilts your face towards him slowly. 
"Tell me, at least. If you're going to refuse me, don't I deserve to know why? Do you hate the idea of dating me that much?"  
You shake your head. "Stupid. How would anyone hate that?"  
"So I deserve to know why you're turning me down."  
A long moment of silence draws you out of your feelings. You guess that's fair enough. Maybe this way he'll leave you alone  - as long you're clear about your reasons. He’s the earnest type after all.  
You manage to suck up all your tears and clear your throat enough to give him an explanation. 
You step back a little from him, putting some distance between you as you stare down at the sidewalk. 
"You know... I respect ya more than anyone else. You've always been someone I admire. And I uh, owe you a lot. So I only want the very best for you and all." You scratch your neck, taking a deep sigh. "For me... regardless of my feelings, I want you to be with someone who really fits, you know? Well put-together and everything. Someone that suits you better"  
He pauses before frowning.   
"Regardless of your feelings? Does that mean you were willingly pushing them aside?" He says distraught. "For how long?"  
You shrug, trying to lighten the conversation. It’s too devastating otherwise. "About ten years, give or take." 
The sheer distress in his face makes you want to keep talking, just he doesn’t look so disheartened. Like some explanation will clear things up.  
"It ain't a bad thing, Hajime. You've given me a lot and I'm serious when I say I want the best for you. I love you, if that's what you wanna hear. I'm content just being besides you as your friend." You say with a shrug. "I can be kinda selfish but there's a limit to my greed,yknow."  
He looks like he's in shock. 
"Wanting someone to love you back isn't greedy or selfish."  
You find you don't have anything to say with that, but hope he drops it for the time being. 
Umemiya stares at you seriously. It makes your breath hitch meeting his eyes, blue with all the depth in the world. You feel like you can't pull yourself from his gaze.  
"And there was never a possibility? Not once that I could've liked you? That I wanted to be with you?"  
"It doesn't matter." You say. "And no, it never crossed my mind.."  
"Stop saying it doesn't matter. Of course it matters. Your feelings matter the most so don't toss them aside so easily. Do you really believe that you're not right for me?"  
You aren’t sure how to answer him.  
"You think you're not good enough for me." He says with some realization more than asks.  
It's the first time you see his face change. When you look up, he looks well and truly angry. The whole thing is confusing.  
"I'm sorry," You say. It’s such a timid thing to say but you don’t know how else to fix.  
"It's not—I just don't like hearing you talk about yourself like that. I don't like hearing someone I love get spoken about like that.” 
You ignore the sentiment again and wait in the quiet. You always thought this would be an easier conversation to have but it hurts.  
He sighs a bit, getting closer to you again. He’s less upset than before but there’s something else in his expression.  
"You wanted to know why I was upset earlier right? It's because of you and Nirei-kun." He admits.  
"What about him?"  
"You talked about marrying him so casually. I overheard and it bothered me all night."  
Your eyes go wide.  
"I—it wasn't serious."  
"I know that. I never thought I was that childish either but you being married to someone else as a joke." He laughs humorlessly. "I really hated it. That’s why I asked if you know how much I like you."  
You feel frozen in place by his admission. 
Umemiya steps towards you faster than you can muster up a counter for why he shouldn’t bother.  
His arms around you feel sudden. His grip on you is so tight, like you could slip through his arms all at once if he loosens it. He smells like cologne and beer and summer but it's not unpleasant. He rests his chin on your head and lets out a deep breath.  
Your chest is throbbing for different reasons now. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.  
"If you won't be greedy, then you should at least let me be." He lets out a long, tense breath "At least let me have what I want." 
You're stuck. Your mouth moves faster than your brain.  
"Why me? And why now?"  
Umemiya pulls away to stare down at you. You can't bring yourself to turn away from him. 
"It was always you. I felt guilty... for wanting to you that way when you were a precious friend. Wanting to treat you delicately when you were strong and proud." He admits. Hearing him say that out loud embarrasses you to no end, “But it was those things that made me love you. Strong yet clumsy. Prideful yet honest. Awkward yet trying to be gentle. Loyal. And always considerate of everyone. Of me, when I was taking care of everyone else."  
Your stomach feels like it's going to erupt. You're losing your resolve faster than you know how to mend it.  
"Stop saying stuff like that."  
Umemiya holds you tighter and shakes his head. "No. How else will I get you to change your mind?"  
"I won't change my mind." You say stubbornly.  
"I love you." He repeats.  
You squirm.  
"Stop it,"  
"I want to be with you. I want to kiss you. I want to hold you. I want to stay by your side forever. I want to do things with you and make you feel good. I want to make you smile. I want to grow old with you." 
Your hearts fluttering. Fuck.  
"Idiot. What are you saying? Let me go."  
"It has to be you for me. I won't have anyone else no matter what you think. The person I love is you. I love you."  
"Hajime." Your voice is shaking. 
His drops down to a whisper.  
“I can’t change how you think of yourself overnight but I can tell you that there’s no point in trying to push me away. Whether or not you accept  me, we’ll never stop being side by side - so please stop fighting it.”  
You put your hands on his chest, trying to push him away. “Stop it,” 
"Please tell me it's okay to love you how I want too," He says, soft and doting while he crushes you in his arms. "And please love me in return."  
You put your hands up to your misty eyes wanting to wipe them away as he melts through the rest of your resolve like it's nothing. It's hard not to be moved. You've been pretending for ten long years that you don't love him at all and he's declaring his love for you like it's the easiest, most sensible and sane thing in the world.  
A kind-hearted, willful, meddling idiot. How you are you supposed to push him away when he's holding you this tight?  
"Shit," You voice, huffing as your voice shakes. "Don’t be stupid, alright? If you’re so insistent, I wont let you back out if you meet someone else."  
He laughs wetly.  
"I already tried meeting other people, but it's still you. Always was."  
He smiles above you. 6'2 with watery eyes with the look of pure relief like it's the best news he's ever heard in his life. It's too much for you. Your heart is racing so fast you wonder if you're gonna die.  
"Can I kiss you?" He asks.  
Your eyes go wide as you look away, not wanting to look too eager. "That's..."  
He makes another puppy-dog kinda face. "Please?"  
You're embarrassed by how easy it makes you give in. "...Do whatever you want."  
He laughs bright and warm as his hands slide up to cup your cheeks and kiss you with all the passion he can muster. It's intense, almost suffocating the way he slots his lips against yours and breathes you in. He doesn't let you up from it, doesn't part from you for a second even when he pulls away - noses brushing and stealing the air from your lungs.  
It's your stupid first kiss and it's perfect - so perfect you wonder if you're going to wake up in a dream. He kisses you hard and makes you stand on your toes to chase his lips when he pulls back. Elated. Ecstatic when you grasp the front of his shirt and keep kissing him when he stops. 
He pauses before littering your whole face with pecks even as you weakly protest, unable to stop frowning but feeling the happiest you've ever been.  
There's so much longing in between you, you feel like you could die. You feel helpless.   
"Can I come home with you?" He asks, once he stops - only holding your hand a short distance away. "I want more time together." 
You feel your skin burn hot as you nod, all while trying not to read too much into it. 
"Yeah."  
__ 
You barely get to lock your door behind you before Umemiya crowds you in the door way.  
His arms circle around your waist, chin resting against your shoulder.. Broad chest against your back, you try not to flounder as his warm voice caresses your ear.  
You're going to die young if he keeps this up.   
"I love you,"  
You flush. "Enough already. And let me go so I can wash up."  
"Do you need to sleep early? Thought you were closed tomorrow. Wanted to talk a little longer."  
You pause.  
"...Sleep?" 
"Hm?"  
You both freeze as the miscommunication dawns at the same time. You try to pull away from him as soon as you realize, skin burning hot. You're quick but Umemiya is quicker.  
"Hajime." You say gravely. "If you don't let me go, I'm gonna kill you."  
"No way," He laughs  as you attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. "Is that why you let me in? Were you expecting something?"  
"Shut up! Don't say anything, I swear I'll —"  
"Don't be like that, baby. I'm not making fun of you. Hey, turn around. Look at me."  
You're upset but you think the reason is more embarrassing then the feeling.  
"Don't wanna,"  
Umemiya laughs as he gently turns you around to face him. In your utter mortification, you can barely bring yourself to meet his gaze.  
"Stop staring."  
He doesn't.  
"Do you normally invite guys in just 'cause they ask?"  
"Wha—no! It's because it's you, stupid!"  
He smiles in satisfaction.  
"You shouldn't say yes so easily even if it is me. What if I took advantage of you?"  
You think he's just being smug for the sake of it, which is pissing you off. You grab him by the front of his shirt.  
"Fuck off. Maybe there's a reason I said yes."  
He pauses before his eyes widen. You push your hand against his mouth before he blurt anything else out but he's quick to pry your hand away.  
"Don't say it." You hiss.  
"I was planning on taking my time. I cherish you and I want to make sure you know that. I'm just a little surprised you’re moving so quick when you were telling me not too long ago."  
You can feel the tips of your ears growing hot, feeling even more self-conscious. "Whatever. If we're just going to sleep I still need to wash up."  
He keeps his arms behind your back so you can’t move.  
"Hey. Didn't say that. It's not like I don't want to do it with you. Just don't want you to regret anything."  
You give him an flat look. "I was prepared to give you my virginity and you're worrying about that. Unless you're planning on backing out, there's no way I would."  
"Your—" His jaw drops a little.  
You drop your voice down just a little close as you grab his collar.  
"If you get it, then hurry up and fuck me. Stupid Hajime."  
He gives you the dopiest smile you've ever seen while your face grows increasingly hot, leaning to in to press a kiss to your lips. He brushes his nose with yours. Laughter from deep in his chest.  
"Yes, ma'am."  
__ 
Once you give Umemiya permission to have you, you get the feeling that there really is no going back from here.  
You both know it. The tension in your bedroom is so thick you can barely breathe around it.  
Umemiya lands gently onto your bed - sitting up as he holds you by your waist and pulls you over to him. You're so aware of his touch it makes your nerves feel they're on fire. You're not a total virgin - at least not enough to be feeling this worked up over someones hands lingering on your waist.  
But they're Umemiya's hands—Hajime's hands, so you can't rationalize your thoughts of out it. His hands are strong and big, a little calloused and rough from the gardening and fighting. You can feel how much he adores you in a gesture so small it makes you concerned for your own heart thinking about how the rest of the night will go.  
He invites you into his lap gently, so pleased by the way you go to him so willingly. You spread yourself over him with your knees on either side of his thighs. He's big - wide and broad.  
Your barely hovering over his bulge as you lean your weight onto him. His hand barely brushes underneath your top, just barely touching the skin.  
You shiver.  
"Are you really sure this is what you want?" He asks. "I don't mind waiting as long as you need,"  
You give him an bored look. "Not very convincing when you're makin' a face like that,"  
He chuckles nervously. "That bad?"  
You nod before adding a little bashfully. "Dunno if I mind, though."  
He buries his fact against your chest all of a sudden making you jump.  
"The hell?"  
"You're so cute when you're honest like that," He mumbles into your chest, cheek pressed against your tits.  
"Jeez, shut up. What're you talking about?"  
Umemiya pulls back and leans forward - enough to breach the inches of space between you. Nose to nose, your eyes meet. A bated breath, you put your hand on his shoulders and work up the nerve to kiss him.  
It's chaste. Mostly for you to break the ice otherwise you're sure you're gonna pussy out.  
He smiles at you when you pull away.  
"See what I mean? So cute," He hums, and leans in again. "Come on. Kiss me again."  
Something about him is different when he tells you to kiss him. It's not smug or cheeky. But it's not casual either. Softness tinges his words, his touch - his whole demeanor screams like he loves you absolutely. It makes your heart rate pick up again, hands shaky as you try not to lose your nerve.  
He's restraining himself though. How he intense he could be vs how soft and calm he is being. You know Umemiya like the back of your hand so you want him to do what he wants. It's hard to find your voice.  
"You don't have to.." You cast your eyes down in embarrassment. "…hold back with me, either. I'm not some maiden."  
He smiles at you a little. "You really do know me better than anyone, huh? I was keeping it together pretty well."  
"Look I know I’m kinda difficult…I'm not real good with stuff like this either," You fidget with the collar of his shirt with your free hand. "But once I say yes I don’t back out. So don't worry about scaring me off or putting too much pressure on me or whatever. ...'s fine to just do what you feel like. I’m scared out of my mind but I wouldn’t do that to you,"  
“Don’t know how long it’ll take but I’ll do my best to make you feel secure. Might take some time but we’ve got our whole lives.” You flush at the implication. He smiles a little. "Whatever I want seems like a lot to give, though."  
"Well...depending on what, I'm might not be good at it,"   
He shakes his head. "I don't want anything like that."  
"What do you want then?"  
"You." He says easily. Your stomach flips. "All of you. I just want to make you feel so good you can't stand it. Want to worship you top to bottom. There's not a single part of you I don't want."  
You flush. "The hell... I meant like a blowjob or some shit."  
He laughs. "I know. And I want that too, another time." He hums, taking a deep breath. "Right now I just want you to feel so good for me. Is that okay?"  
You can't look at him. You can barely stand how bashful you're being, but you can't even play coy. Something in you is bursting at the seams.  
You love him so much you don't recognize yourself, or your voice, or how you're acting. It makes you sick but you can’t do anything but go with it. "Yeah. 's okay, if it's what you want."  
"It is," He says, leaning in. "All I've ever wanted."  
You ignore the latter half of his comment as he finally goes to kiss you again.  
He pulls your body close to him as you do. Until your chest to chest, arms wrapped around the span of his shoulders as you press your lips together soft and slow.  
He slides a hand underneath your top, undoing the clasp of your bra. He lets his palm stay on the center of your back while you keep kissing - straps of your bra falling down your shoulder as he splays his fingers to feel more of your skin and hold you. Hugging you close to him, his other arm wraps around your torso. His forearms feels especially strong they way they hold you by the waist.  
You're so close to him. Kissing him so deep, his tongue sliding against your lips. Something about the kiss is languid but the touch is so hot it makes your skin burn. You feel wrapped up in him, can't even tell whose heartbeat you're hearing. 
More of your weight ends up in his lap as you feel your knees go weak. Something hard presses against your clothed cunt and you gasp a little into his mouth.  
"Oh, shit." You mumble in surprise. Umemiya laughs.  
"You're making me feel good." He hums.  
Your face heats up. "I barely did anything." 
"You just being on my lap is more than enough."  
You make a face at him before rubbing yourself over the zipper of his jeans, slow and deliberate trying to get a feel for it. You hear him moan, nearly jumping out of your skin in surprise.  
The way Umemiya moans is a lot for you to process. Breathy and a little low. It resonates through your whole body like a caress.  
You make a few more tentative passes over his bulge, just to hear him do it again. Driven by your instinct more than anything, you lean into kiss at his jaw - making use of the limited experience you do have to try and draw more sounds from him.  
"What're you thinking about?" He asks, still breathless. Maybe amused.  
"Like the way you sound." You mumble in reply.  
"I thought I told you I wanted to take care of you, hm?"  
You frown. "So what? I can't touch you at all?"  
He thinks on it. "You can touch me everywhere else and you can have your way with me later, if you want it. I don't wanna cum too fast."  
"I'm just..."  
He shakes his head. "You're underestimating me. I'm still a guy, you know? With a woman I love at that. There's no way I would make it through our first time if I didn't focus on you. Don't pout,"  
Hearing him describe you in such an embarrassing way makes you flush. You roll your eyes half-heartedly. "Fine, whatever."  
He smiles.  
"Good girl. C'mere. Lay down."  
You decide not to think about how effected the praise makes you as you comply.  
Umemiya lays you down carefully, making sure you're comfortable before hovering over you. He looks a lot more imposing from this view - the dim lights of your room making his face seem more well-defined. Your nipples harden in arousal, peeking from underneath your shirt as he stares long and hard.  
"You're so beautiful to me."  
He leans down and presses a hot kiss to your jaw, just underneath your ear before slowly kissing down your neck. Open-mouthed kisses along delicate skin, tongue sliding over every patch he scrapes lightly with his teeth. You fidget underneath him, a dull throbbing between your legs. You try to figure out what to do with your hands but you’re too nervous.  
He kisses your throat where it's extra sensitive and you bite back and involuntary noise. 
"Don't hold your voice, please?"  
"It's embarrassing,"  
"It's not," He assures, bumping his forehead to your shoulder lightly. "I want to know what makes you feel good. Let me pay attention to you."  
You frown but nod ultimately.  
Umemiya isn't the first sexual encounter you've had in your life. You've done other things, but you've never really gone all the way with anyone. All of your other partners were mostly strangers - people mutually interested in using someone else to try and get off.  
This is the first time anyone has taken this much time with you. A little kissing and groping, sometimes touching your chest.  
No one's ever touched you like this, though.  
His hands feel like they're all over your body no matter where they actually end up being. Makes your heartbeat rain drumming on a tin roof. Makes your stomach tingle, a heat in your calves and a prickly feeling on your back. Your whole being drowning with pure anticipation.  
"Take this off for me." Umemiya mumbles. You nod, feeling absent as you wiggle yourself out of your tight little tee and toss it somewhere.  
The air shifts again when you're naked. His eyes drink you in, tracing the soft lines and edges of your body. Looking over scars and stretchmarks with pure, blown out wanting that shoots lust straight into your veins.  
You want him to fuck you so bad it's killing you but the very thought makes you feel so shy you could die.  
"You're beautiful," Sounds dirty the way he says, makes it spill from his lips like wine tipping over a glasses edge. "Perfect. Every inch of you is so perfect."  
He proves this to you by kissing you again. Running his hands over your skin. Up against curved sides and down against your arms, brushing the back of your biceps and forearms.  
Infatuation in his touch ruins you. Makes your voice let out. You can't think of anyone whose treated you so preciously in your entire life and you find you don't resent it as much as you should.  
(You find it feels so good to let someone touch you so kindly. A touch like you're being loved.)  
Nonetheless it's embarrassing. Of course it is.  
But it's so hard not to feel pulled in when you feel the way he kisses you. Draws a trail with his lips and tongue from jaw to shoulder blade - kissing down your biceps with his hands on your body, taking  gentle inhales of your scent.  
Anticipation makes your stomach tie in knots but finally he relents. Both hands squeeze the soft weight of your chest, palms brushing your hardened nipples.  
"Fuck."  
He laughs a little, heavy with want. "Yeah? Do you like being touched here?"  
"Mm." Is the best reply you can get out.  
He brushes against the tips with his fingers in a feather-light gesture, testing the waters before rubbing with a little more pressure. Your body jolts from the stimulation, wetness pooling and dampening your underwear. He leans in and takes one of your nipples into his mouth making another dull wave of lust wash through you.  
And he makes sure to pay attention to both. It's just like him to be so attentive to some shit like that. Your spine arches as he sucks on your sensitive nipples, letting his tongue flick across them and giving into a sweet friction. You buck your hips up against instinctively, gripping onto the sheets as your sense of restlessness grows.  
Your voice is whiny to your own ears but you can't calm down to save your life.  
"You're taking too long," You huff. He laughs lightly, looking up at you from underneath his lashes.  
"Don't be impatient." He tsks.  
"It's enough already," 
He shakes his head. "Nope. Still got a long ways to go. Promise you'll have me when you're ready for it, so just try and focus on feeling good."  
You make a frustrated sound. "It's embarrassing being the only one feeling good,"  
He pauses before standing up on his knees. He takes his black t-shirt off in one swift go until his torso is bare, and undoes the top button of his pants. He gives you a little glance. "Better?"  
There are too many layers of that to process in the moment it happens. You mumble. "A little,"  
He beams. "Good. Now let me take good care of you,"  
Sliding down lower, he kisses you from sternum to navel. Hands gripping at the softness of your sides, smoothing over the bare skin as he his thumb finds the waistband of your skirt. He glances up at you, silently seeking your permission. You nod back at him, watching him slide the short skirt away from your waist.  
The sudden air feels cool against your skin. He presses his cheek against your belly, both hands on your hips..  
"You're gorgeous. Even more gorgeous than I thought. I feel so lucky being able to touch you when you're this perfect.” He praises endlessly.  
You cover your face with your arm.  
"Ugh. Quit it. You're sayin' too much."  
"Seeing you get so shy when I praise you a little is so cute." He trails his lips down further and further - just above your sex before stopping. "You're so cute."  
He sits back, standing up and bending your legs slightly at the knee. You hold the position as you feel him massage your calve. Thumb drawing hard circles in the muscle, slowly working his way up to your knee. He kisses you afterwards trailing the same spot his hands were touching seconds ago before moving onto the other side.  
There's nothing you can call it short of worship. The nagging feeling that it's undeserved is washed away each time Umemiya holds your gaze.  
Devotion colors every touch no matter how small. And it’s so obvious, so prominent - it feels outright wrong to deny the fact it’s there.   
You think the closest thing you can compare it too is the way Umemiya gardens. A patience as his fingers root through earth and soil, a kindness towards delicate things that makes even hours of work under the sun look beautiful and easy. His expression is what's most uncanny - what makes you you feel so hot. 
An expression that says he loves doing it from the very bottom of his heart - not even a hint of apathy or complaint.  
A face that says he loves every long, drawn out motion and actions of repetition all fro the very core of him.  
Having it directed at making love to you so blatantly makes you more aroused than you know what to do with. You don't know how to let yourself be treated like the most cherished flower in Umemiya's garden - and you aren't so sure how you're meant to get used to it no matter how much it makes you feel...nice. You don’t have any other experience.  
Which is why you're trying to be patient. Trying to be at least temporarily secure in whatever he sees in you that makes him worship every inch of you, memorizing all your ins and outs.  
Umemiya places hot, wet kisses on your inner thigh before laying himself between your spread legs - breath barely hovering over your sex.  
By the time he gets there, you feel utterly melted into your sheets. Your mind is hazy, impatient and wanting as strong hands secure your thighs. He's so close.  
"I wanna eat you out. Is that okay?"  
"If you don't do something soon I'm gonna kill you."  
He laughs warmly. "I'll take that as a yes."  
You pause. Umemiya waits.  
"I didn't uh," You clear your throat. "Wasn't planning on getting laid so y'know. Haven't shaved in a while."  
"Were you worried that I'd change my mind? I like it for the record. Feels natural." Umemiya says. "It's your body so there's nothing I would dislike about it."  
"You're too much." You reply back in earnest. You cover your face with your arms. "So cheesy."  
"I'm being serious." He says suddenly solemn with how sincere he is. 
The sudden change is amusing. You pause before breaking into genuine giggles, unable to help yourself.  
"You're really somethin', yknow that?"  
He's quiet for a long time. Long enough for it to catch your attention, turning your gaze more clearly towards his face. Swiftly, he pushes himself up to catch your mouth in another kiss. It stuns you a bit, very different to all the rest. More teeth and tongue than lip.  
"I like you," He murmurs, forehead to yours. "How can someone be so cute?"  
"Would you quit embarrassing me and get on with it?" 
He smiles. "As you wish,"  
Umemiya settles back down between your legs after easing your panties off and putting your feet flat on the bed to give himself more access. You can barely look down at him doing it. His fingers brush the slick hairs back gentle as he uses his thumbs to spread your pussy apart and look at you more intimately.  
You can feel him. Feel his every breath and movement. He stares at you awestruck. "How is all of you so pretty? Even here it's such a beautiful color."  
"Stop looking so much,"  
He takes a breath, taking in your scent one more time before pressing a kiss to your clit. You make an attempt to squirm away from his grip as his finger dig into your thighs and hold you down. The strength of it knocks the wind out of you, forcing you into place. Umemiya pushes his tongue and gives you a long, tentative lick through the seam of your cunt.  
Your whole body breaks out into shivers at the sensation. The warm weight of his tongue on your sex makes feels like an electric current through water - your toes curling as he makes the same few passes over and over. He collects your pooling arousal on the tip as he drags upwards and flicks your clit tentatively. You grind against his face instinctually, hips chasing the pleasure. Amused laughter vibrates against your core as you do, mumbling at you to be patient while he's still face deep in it.  
You let out another pitchy whine before he finally stops teasing. He lays his tongue flat against your clit, cupping it lightly before drawing it around experimentally. He watches carefully as he plays around with pressure and angles - trying to see what makes you react the most. You can feel how closely he's watching you. 
You cover your mouth with your hand when he does find it, your voice breaking off as he licks carefully right where you need. He smiles into your cunt as he toys with your with the sensitive bundle of nerves, pleased by the change in your reactions. The obvious pleasure he's making you feel.  
Something blooms into your chest. You've never— 
"You're—" You close your eyes, hands tangling in the sheets as you break out into a fever. "Ngh, never had someone l-lick me,"  
He must've heard you because he seems to laser in his focus the minute you say it. He's lapping at your clit so deep, licking precisely and holding you with nose against your bush.  
You reach down tentatively, pushing back the hair falling in his face and he gives you a look so lovesick you want to run away. The pressure changes gradually, more intensely.  
It feels better somehow. Makes you feel restless. Your whole body curls in tight with want at the sensation of it, the lower expanse of your belly tensed. You're shaking as you drift closer to the edge, arousal upped by the wet sound of him sucking your clit.  
"Hajime," You warn, spine starting to arch as you helplessly try to pull away from the intense sensation. It's not familiar to your body, so much so your mind can barely make sense of what's happening to it, "Cumming—c-cumming!"  
Something in you goes undone as Umemiya keeps pace during your orgasm. All the tension inside of you suddenly comes loose - specks of white matter behind closed lids as you screw your eyes shut. Your back curves up into arch, your hips trembling, your insides pulsing. It comes running into you, crashing into your body as waves of pleasure drown out the noise in your head. He eats you out until you feel borderline hysterical.  
You feel melted and reshaped by him - yanking him off when he continues to be insistent after you're too oversensitive. He laughs when you pull him away, resting against your thigh as you take worn out heaving breaths.  
He kisses the inside of your knee as you calm down, bright smile on his features - painted pink with a slight flush. "You came. I'm so happy."  
You look at him in shock. "You're a scary guy."  
He pushes up to kiss your temple, voice soft. "Did I scare you?"  
Your stomach flutters, tucking your chin. "You were intense, but I didn't... hate it or anything."  
"Yeah?" He grins, pressing a few kisses to your cheek and face before whispering against your ear. "Then, is it okay to go farther?"  
You nod silently. Umemiya smiles.  
He stands up on his knees, pushing his hair back as your eyes are drawn to his pants. You reach out for the waistband of his pants unthinkingly, hooking your finger into it. "Isn't it stuffy?"  
He blinks, frozen before rubbing a hand across his face. "Ah a bit, but it's fine."  
"Take 'em off. Please?"  
Umemiya looks unusually distressed by the request, but follows through without another word. You watch him undress - revealing the tight black fabric of his boxer briefs snug against his waist. Your eyes go wide as you see the outline of his cock - head still half hazy. You voice your unfiltered reaction.  
"Your dick is so big,"  
He laughs breathlessly. "Are you trying to stir me up? What's with you?" He pauses to lay down besides you. You turn to lay on your side and face him a little better. "You're being cute. I'm not used to seeing you so docile."  
"Shaddup," You reply half-heartedly. Your body is still on fire but it knocked the wind of you to cum once already. "Your fault."  
He grins, a hint of smugness as he laughs. "That's true."  
"You gonna fuck me?"  
"Mm, yeah. Gotta open you up first or it'll hurt."  
"I've put stuff in before. Toys. Should be fine."   
"Still wanna play it safe. It's your precious first time after all."  
You make a face before pulling him into you, hugging him tight as your whole body breaks out in a shameful flush. "Then hurry up and do it already."  
His arms slide underneath where your laying, holding you to him as he hikes one of your legs up. He slides his free hand in over your leg - his forearm holding your thigh. You press your face to his neck and shoulder - hiding your expression. "Guess I should huh? You were always impatient,"  
You can barely tell him to shut up, the way your body waits for it. A warbled little noise leaves your mouth as he slides his middle finger through the sticky folds of your cunt - careful as it catches on your hole. Wet and so aroused, the first finger he puts in goes in completely smoothly with no real effort 
Umemiya speaks low and soft as he holds you. "I don't know if I can get used to seeing you like this. I'm glad no one else but me ever wil You’re really all I think about lately," He catches the lobe of your ear between his teeth gently. Your head spins. "People misunderstand you because you're prickly, you know? For a long time, only I knew what it felt like to be liked by you. I liked that,"  
"Why are you—mmgh," 
He slides another finger in carefully after the first one slides inside of you with no resistance. His voice is so hot against your skin, the low bass of it in your skull as he speaks so close to your ear.  
"Don't get me wrong I'm happy seeing you with so many people surrounding you. But I was a little sad too. And it kept getting worse over the years until I couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t figure out why for a long time and then it clicked,” Umemiya explains. You realize half way delirious this is his real confession. God, you’re gonna kill him. “Suddenly it was all I thought about. I wanted to be special to you. I wanted to monopolize you. It was my first time having thoughts like that,”  
Another finger slides into you easily. Umemiyas fingers are so much bigger than yours. Thicker than they are long. The stretch is enough to make you gasp.  
“Hajime—“ 
He curls them up, careful until he finds the spot he’s looking for. Your body reacts, another sensation of pressure as his middle finger rubs tenderly against your gspot. You weakly try to wiggle away as he holds you firm.  
“I felt a little guilty, too. You’re my very best friend. You’re independent and diligent. Tough. But you know, when I saw you for those few months - all I could think about was how much I wanted to spoil you,” He whispers. Something in your body shifts the way touches you. Pushes in further and further - stretching until it’s easy for him to be inside. “Somehow everything I liked about you became so cute I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t help but want to dote on you over every little thing even though I knew better than anyone you didn’t need something like that.”  
Your eyes well up but not necessarily from emotion. Totally overwhelmed. You don’t feel like you’re gonna cum but there’s something else that’s waiting and each time he thrusts his fingers into you it comes a little closer. Your voice is shaking.  
“It—fuck, quit talking. Somethings gonna—“  
His smile grows a little. It’s the first time it looks so hungry.  
“I was happy in general when I realized you liked me too. Even when you were being stubborn, I liked the way you couldn’t turn me away. I liked how happy you looked talking to me as usual as if that alone was something so precious,” He hums, so focused and precise as he stretches you open on a third finger but never once losing his train of thought. Like saying all of these comes to him so easily it doesn’t matter. “I didn’t want to corner you. But it felt like I couldn’t rest until you were mine completely. Which is why I’m being so unfair to you. Why I’m so persistent. ” 
Your voice breaks on a whine. “It’s gonna come out—“  
“You make a pretty face when your heads filled with nothing but me. I don’t think it’s bad to wanna stay that way,” He hums, almost conversational as he presses a kiss to your skin. “Go on. Let go,”  
Something hot sprays between your legs as Umemiya fucks you open on all three of his fingers.  
A rush of warm liquid squirts onto your sheets as your legs shake wearily. Umemiya marvels at the mess. Your hands curl into fists, nails digging in your palms as he finally pulls them out - leaving you stretched, almost gaping.  
You lay limp in soaked sheets as you pull away from Umemiya with a very weak glare.  
He’s smiling at you, dopey and lovesick.  
“Too much?”  
Angrily, you smack at his bare chest over and over, trying to recover your pride.  
“You’re insane. What’s,” You swallow thickly. “What’s with you.”  
He shrugs. Wordless, he flips you onto your back again before hovering over top of you. Pressing his forehead to yours, he brushes your noses together and plants a tentative peck on your lips as if trying to gauge whether or not you’re upset. He melts when you kiss him back, smiling happily.  
“Were you like this with your other girlfriends? No wonder they broke up with you,”  
He laughs. “Mm, no? I was more of a gentleman.”  
You break out into another exhausted fit of laughter.  
“Pfft, yeah? Guess I’m pretty special,” 
“Yeah. You are.” He kisses you again. “Wanna keep going or are you too tired? I don’t mind if we sleep.”  
“Stupid. I said it already didn’t I? Hurry up and fuck me.”  
“Okay, okay. Let me go get the condom from my wallet,”  
You wrap your legs around his waist and stare up at him plainly as he tries to move, keeping him pinned in place. You’re frowning, brows furrowed with a hard glare. He stares at you.  
“Did you want something else? Water?”  
“Want you to fuck me,” You restate, arms reaching up to circle around his neck. “Just do it already.” 
He pulls back to look at you seriously.  
“Do you know what you’re asking?”  
You flush. “Of course I do. Stupid. Are you trying to get me to say it out loud?”  
“I might think I’m deluding myself otherwise.”  
You sigh, looking at him flatly as you try to tamp down the part of you that’s screaming to be more tactful.  
“Don’t bother with the condom, a-alright? Or pulling out,”  
He looks like he’s experiencing the shock of his life. “But…” 
“Stop being dumb or I’m never gonna have sex with you again.”  
He nods suddenly solemn. “Fine. But,”  
You give him another look that silences him. He sighs again, getting the message before kissing your cheek and pull back to sit up on his knees between your legs. Pulling his briefs down, his cock springs free. It looks a lot bigger than you saw underneath the fabric, weighed down from it’s own weight even though it stands up stiff. He opened you up with three but you wonder if it’ll be enough not to stretch you open.  
You reach your hand out to touch it tentatively, feeling it’s weight and heft. He clears his throat but seems content to let you. The palms of your hands cup the shaft, feeling all the veins pulse. The tip is sticky with precum. You pull your hand away, another sudden wave of self consciousness overwhelming you.  
Umemiya hovers over you again, placing he length of his cock against your pussy. You shift a little feeling it slide against you, hard and hot.  
“Gonna put it in now, okay?”  
Nodding, you put your legs up. You take a deep breath when the head pushes in, letting out an involuntary noise. You feel well-stretched but the thickness of his cock is still enough to make you feel it in your legs. Umemiya is focused above you, barely sliding the tip through your folds as you open up around him. The air feels punched out of your lungs on just the first inch.  
His face is strained is he holds his hips steady, leaning down to tap your foreheads together. “Feeling okay?”  
“Mm,” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Fine. Feels different.”  
“Different?”  
“Yours is bigger than all the stuff I own,” You explain. “Feels hotter. Harder, too.”  
You feel his cock twitch inside of you suddenly, shocking you. He smiles sheepishly.  
“Gonna push in a little more, okay?”  
You nod, watching as Umemiya so slowly presses his cock into you further. Enough that it doesn’t hurt when you take him, as much as it just feels like something is inside of you. You feel a warm sense of satisfaction at how full you feel. You feel like him like he’s in your stomach, taking up so much space. After a while of pushing, stopping, and going again  - he finally bottoms out.  
“You feel incredible,” He murmurs, half-smile on his face. Your stomach flutters. “It’s hard not to cum right away. Feels so good inside of you. I love you.”  
You feel yourself twitch, frowning at the expression of delight Umemiya has. You put your hand against his fact to keep him away but he kisses your palm and moves it. Bottomed out, he grasps both hands and holds them  - pinning them to the bed as you watch him wide-eyed.  
“Think you’re used to it?” He hums, clasping your fingers together. “Is it okay if I move?”  
You feel so damn bashful. “It’s okay.” 
He kisses your forehead. “I’ll go slow.” 
As promised, Umemiya pulls out carefully before pushing back into you. You’re so wet that it slides in without any real friction. It takes a few thrusts of him going slowly for your body to get adjusted to the sensation. After a few motions, though - it starts to feel different.  
Starts to feel good. Really, really good.  
“Oh,” Your eyes flutter open. “Shit. You c-can go faster.”   
“Yeah?”  
You nod, trying not to seem too eager. 
When Umemiya picks up pace, you feel your  the whole lower half of your body weaken all over again. Something in your legs, your spine go soft against the bed underneath, a sudden unusual arousal swelling. Somewhere in deeper as he cocks thrusts against your gspot, knocking against it with more force than before. The change in pace coupled with the visual of Umemiya over you, face drawn together in focus as he fucks you is too much. Split open on his cock, you can hear how wet you are each time he moves.  
“Feels…” Your words come up empty. “’s so much.” 
“Yeah? Is it too much for you, baby?”  
You shake your head as your thoughts get increasingly cloudy. It’s like there’s nothing else your body can focus on. The way his cock drags against your sensitive, silken walls. The feeling of being full to empty and then full all over again. The way your pussy gets so much wetter each time he moves, sloppy and sucking him in so tight. You can feel your body want for him.  
Umemiya lets go of your hands, sliding one between your bodies. Palm resting on your sex, he lets his brush against your clit. The difference it makes is significant, makes your eyes go wide. He smiles a little, hair falling in his face as he pushes it up with his free hand.  
“That’s it,” He hums, contented to keep at it like this. “Feels good, right? Your holding onto me so tightly it’s hard for me to pull out even though you’re so wet.”  
You make a whiny noise and wonder if other peoples first times feel this good or if you’re just outrageously lucky. You decide on the latter he fucks you faster and matches his thrusts with the movement of his fingers. You’re warm all over - skin scorching as your hands find his biceps and shoulders to cling onto.�� 
Your voice is so whiny when you call out for him “You’re so deep, ngh.”  
He laughs, deep and raspy. “Yeah? Tell me what you’re feeling,”  
“It feels good when you’re in me.” You reply drunkenly. “Want it faster. Please,”  
He complies with your request almost immediately. You cry out loud, physically incapable of holding the sound in as he gets to fucking you faster and harder. Your pussy is throbbing. Senselessly horny, you pull Umemiya closer to you as he fucks you and smash your lips together. You feel so good, so thoroughly fucked and completely out of it. He’s in you but you want him even closer, want the scent of his skin to mark you.  
A second time your body builds up to that familiar feeling but it’s so much farther inside. An orgasm pulled right from your core. Stomach tied in knots as Umemiya fucks you hard, you wrap your legs around his waist and take him. 
“That’s it. You’re so good. Cum on my cock, sweet girl. Let me feel it” He murmurs against your skin, holding you close. “You’re making me feel so good. So cute. Go ahead, it’s okay. Let me see how good I’m making you feel.”  
Pliant to his request, you hold onto Umemiya for dear life as your body gives into second orgasm. Your nails dig into his biceps as the built up arousal gives way pleasure - and you cum hard with his cock sheathed all the way inside of you. All the wind gets stolen from your lungs as you press forward with another kiss, your whole body trembling violently as you let go.  
Umemiya sweet talks you through without letting go once, only stopping to take a pause when you’ve fully ridden out your high.  
You stare up at him in a daze as he takes a breather to kiss you, still hard as he’s bottomed out inside of you.  
“You gonna cum soon?”  
“Mm,” He nods. “Yeah I’m close. If I move, I will.”  
“’s okay to cum in me,”  
Umemiya laughs warmly. “I’m already about too. You’re not helping,”  
You smile a bit as you hug him close to you and tell him again that it’s fine. Before long, he holds you too, whispering the same three words into your neck as he finally lets it out. It’s a weird feeling, thick white ropes of seed spilling into the deepest parts of you.  
You don’t really hate it, though.  
“I love you,” Umemiya repeats. Tired you don’t try to fight yourself.  
“Love you too,”  
__ 
The next morning, you’re stirred away by the sound of your front door unlocking and the sound of Kotoha’s voice echoing through your apartment.  
You’re still half-way asleep, so it barely dawns on you that anything is off. Not cognizant enough to think twice, your body tries to go back to sleep.  
Or it does until you hear a very loud shout coming from your kitchen that wakes you up with a start.  
“No fucking way,”  
You sit up suddenly, hearing faint conversation before the sound of steps barreling towards your door. You just barely manage to pull the sheets up over your chest before she comes storming through the door of your bedroom.  
You watch her eyes scan your entire room, mentally collecting data before she finally lands on you. As your brain starts to load back in, your eyes go wide with horror at the look of pure scandal on her face.  
Fuck. You were supposed to be having dinner with her and Tsubaki tonight. Usually you confirm with them in the mornings since your up. It’s not uncommon for her to drop in when you don’t reply to check in since you live close by. 
Fuck.  
“You—Oh, I have to text Tsubaki-chan, I can’t believe—“  
Before she gets to finish her sentence, Umemiya appears behind her in your door way. The sight of him only adds fuel to the flame of your embarrassment. You went another round or two before bed last night and it looks like it too. Shirtless in sweats he left over a while ago, his biceps are covered in scratch and with a few hickies, he’s wearing his hair down with a cup of tea and a very apologetic smile.  
You cover your face with your hands unsure of how to deal with the feeling of pure mortification.  
Kotoha snaps a picture of your room that causes even more distress.  
“If you don’t delete that right now, I’m gonna kill us both.”  
“In your dreams.”  
Umemiya laughs warmly. “Please don’t kill each other.”  
He slides past Kotoha coming over to you. Bending down to kiss your forehead, he pulls the blanket up over you so you’re more well-covered. You give him an incredulous but Umemiya is unfazed - smiling as bright as ever. 
“Good morning,”  
“I can’t believe my eyes,” Kotoha says. She points at Umemiya. “You, go put on a shirt.”  
“Fine, fine. Stay for breakfast,” Umemiya says with a smile. “It’ll be nice having it with my two favorite people.”  
You make another face as Umemiya gives you a long, affectionate look before disappearing. She sighs as she looks at you, pinching the bridge of her nose.  
“I would ask if you’re gonna meet us for dinner but you don’t have a choice anymore so show up at seven. I’m gonna leave before that tactless idiot comes back. We’ll talk later.”  
You nod in understanding. She turns to leave but then turns back with a genuine smile.  
“And, well - congrats. He’s a tactless idiot but he does love you or whatever. Cherish each other,”  
You flush, nodding your head. “Yeah…thanks.”  
With that Kotoha leaves quickly. Umemiya returns still shirtless, pouting a little when he notices she’s gone.  
“She left already?”  
“Of course she did. I can’t believe you would invite her for breakfast.”   
Umemiya shrugs. “No point being coy about it. I thought it’d be nice. I was looking for a shirt but I guess I don’t need one now,” He sits besides you on the bed, turning to face with a goofy smile. “Anyways, good morning.”  
“You already said that.”  
“You didn’t say it back,”  
You frown. “G’morning,”  
He smiles suddenly  before grabbing you from underneath the blankets and sheets - pulling your naked body ontop of him as he grins. Sunlight pours through the window as he holds you to his chest, kissing the crown of your head before pressing his cheek into your hair.  
“Mm, yeah. It’s a really good morning after all.”  
“You’re stupid.”  
“And you love me,”  
You fail trying not to smile.  Damn him. You're so happy it hurts. You roll your eyes.
“I guess so.”  
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bestlilithian · 3 months
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The lilithian experience (lilith dominant chart)
Personal experiences w having heavy lilith influence
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- Older people being creepy subtly or overtly, but usually subtly with certain looks or touches or comments, especially strangers in public or distant family friends
- Being told Im scary or intimidating, or that I look mean (a girl once told me she thought I wouldnt want to hang out w her and her friends because I looked 'too pretty and kinda mean') [this is esp w lilith/asc harsh aspects]
- Lilith square asc culture is walking into a room a little pissed or in a hurry and everyone shutting up (also works for mars/pluto)
- Now Ive never heard anyone else talking about this but as a lilithian woman Ive always been disgusted by the idea of having sex with a man because in our culture a woman who has sex w a man is seen as having been dominated and degraded by him ("I fucked her" "I hit that" "I scored") also the act itself is very power struggle-ish like no *I* want to bend over a man and make him suck *my* dick
- Ive also noticed a lot of lilithian women are lesbians (including me <3) , might deal w lots of comphet tho
- Being hyperaware of people looking at you (even if youre dressed extremely modestly or without makeup)
- Lilith/moon aspects 🤝 your mom making inappropriate comments about you and your body
- Lilith/sun aspects 🤝 your father insulting you or making weird comments (more subtle w soft aspects so you might brush it off but its still not okay girl)
- People thinking youre flirting with them or others (esp men) but youre just hot and talking, and you cant help that ppl have strong reactions to anything you say really
- Loving eye contact <3 (w the right people)
- Lilith square saturn culture is not being afraid to stand up to authority <3 and having to quite often because they have a pick on you and try to tear you down
- also w lilith square/opposite saturn grown ass adults will have beef w you when youre a kid, esp those w authority over you like teachers, coaches etc
- Lilith/asc harsh aspects and overthinking whether a fit is too revealing or not (because you dont want to get harassed and looked at again) (but then youll grt harassed even if you go out in a priests suit so 🤩)
- People (esp men) trying to use you for sex
- Always being the one guys want to be friends w benefits with while theyre crushing on another girl
- "I dont like what you do to me" - most men Ive interacted with for a while
- A guy told me he liked me for who I am but he couldnt stand "the effect I have on him"
- lilith in 4th house culture is attracting men w mommy issues and being looked at by guys in relationships
- lilith/mercury and needing to know all your friends bdsm test results
- People liking when youre mean 2 them
- People who hate you often want to have sex w you
- Ive had so many guys in my class literally have to gather up courage to talk 2 me, even for basic things like asking me to help w something, they approach me looking all tense and worked up like Ill slice their head off for asking me to help them with their math lmao
- A classmate (and friend, apparently) of my friend once didnt want to come out and meet me when I went to my friends school to give her something because she thought Id beat her up (for context I found out she said some nasty things to my friend and was not happy about it)
- Being told by ppl (esp men) that I remind them of characters who are villains
- People esp girls not liking me for no reason or being rude
- Guys in relationships being extremely cold and rude to me or even shittalking me to their gfs (you can guess why)
- People trying to 'put you in your place'
- Recognizing other lilithians immediately
- Being insecure about your private parts, your body in general and your appearance
- Sex obsession since a young age
- Sexual harassment unfortunately
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chiritori · 2 years
Text
im so scared im not going to pass my classes this semester
#its basically gonna have to be 24/7 homework lockdown for the next month if i want to do even okay in all of them#im really really sad because i had to cancel on my halloween plans so i can finish this overdue essay i need done by tonight#everyones out in costumes and having fun with their friends and im inside alone having a breakdown over school#this sucks ass#im glad i was able to go to a party this weekend and dress up but tbh the party was mid af#i also flaked on a house party i was supposed to go to last night because i was sick and my bfs were over#i feel like the different aspects of my life are getting so unbalanced and its scaring me and making me depressed#how am i supposed to balance 4 demanding classes & a fulfilling social life & 2 relationships all at the same time#not to mention sooner rather than later im going to have to worry about jobs and internships too#ive been a shitty friend to my besties recently bc i keep flaking on them & am broke all the time & am generally just a disorganized mess#i feel like they think im putting them on the backburner for my relationships. and i honestly think thats kind of true#i just need to find any kind of balance to my life because everything is out of whack and my life is falling apart#my executive functioning is so poor and im sick & in pain all the time and ive been in a depressive episode for the past month and a half#i have no idea how to exist as a functional adult in a body that is falling apart both physically and mentally#i cannot take even more time off of school & i want to graduate as soon as possible but after that im all on my own and then what#it all just leads to a dead end. theres nothing im working towards anymore and i have no motivation to do anything and im so stressed out#i just dont know how to fix this. i dont know how to dig myself out of this hole#vent
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xazse · 8 months
Note
I NEED A SEQUAL TO YOUR AFAB!GOJO X READER
AFAB!GOJO x MALE!READER
Notes: listen listen, ur gonna be mad at me but I had to this was the only way I had seen it ending! AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT JUST LMK AND ILL DO AN ALTERNATIVE ENDING! And I think you meant my recent one? The Afab gojo
Tags: Smut, mentions of Afab!Geto, titjob, cuckholding, The readers actions might not align with yours! Just wanted to let some of you guys know and reader is kind of a bastard. 😭
Pairings: Afab!gojo x male!reader
Satoru despises this right now, he hates it, after your night together, with you fucking him so good in your car, He finds himself wanting to so badly at night, hell even in the mornings hes going crazy. Rubbing his clit for so long it starts to sting, night after night he’s fucking himself with his fingers.
You weren’t lying when you said you had been watching Suguru for a while now, he sees your drifting eyes when he’s in your proximity, he sees it all. Satoru can admit his best friend really is pretty, gandering attention from men and women, he just wishes you weren’t apart of that crowd.
So he’s devised a plan to keep Suguru away from you at all times. He changes his and Sugurus route to school, (they live together and travel everywhere together) he has your classes memorized so that was also easy. Suguru had brought up questions about the changes but he quickly reassured him that nothing was wrong: that he just wanted a change of scenery.
Suguru doesn’t know you, and Satoru wants to keep it that way. He truly doesn’t know why he’s doing all of this for you, I mean he could definitely score someone “better” than you, funnier than you, and just a lot more nicer in general but he keeps finding himself craving you even more.
It seems to work, everything is working in his favor… but you.. you’re a little too quiet, over the years Satoru’s noticed you’re rather upfront with the people you want, so why haven’t you made an attempt at Suguru from the start?
“Attachment: 2 images”
His phone goes off again
“Attachment: 1 video”
Image one consists of Suguru on his knees, with his face covered in cum, seemingly your cum, and dried tears.
Image two is Suguru with his pretty tits, pressed up around your cock, a cute cloudy smile decorating his face.
Satoru feels like time has stopped around him, he doesn’t blame Suguru at all since he hadn’t known of his and yours weird relationship, but you, you’re a bastard through and through, But Satorus fingers don’t stop him from clicking on the video.
It’s Suguru with his legs spread on a table facing forward, facing the camera. He can see all of Sugurus bits, he can see the way you’re sliding in him inch by inch, he can hear Suguru whining at the mere stretch of you. Sugurus hand flies up to his mouth to muffle some of the groans spilling out, then you begin fucking him ruthlessly, even with this you’re still holding the camera perfectly, making sure to rub it in Satorus face even more.
He can hear the lewd wet slapping sounds of your pelvis meeting sugurus ass, the glistening of your slick mixing together already.
He knows Suguru can feel the sting in his pussy when you do slam back into him, knows that it feels so fucking mind numbing and good. You use one of your hands to push his leg towards his shoulder to get deeper and a better angle. Suguru is wrecked with loud sobs of pleasure, one of his hands maneuver to his clit and he begins circling it roughly.
Satoru feels his own clit needing to be touched, his panties are soaking wet three minutes into the video, interrupted he can hear Suguru talking or at least attempting: “please..please.. I wanna..” by this point his hair is strewn all over his face, sticking in some places, he doesn’t even seem to be all there, you’ve reduced the poor man into nothing.
Satoru feels awful, his heart feels heavy, his body is on fire, he doesn’t have anyone he can call at this late hour to help him release his frustrations. He uses his dildo that night, it doesn’t compare it never will, he fucks himself on it for hours and hours, repeating your video everytime. He’s milking his pussy till tears are streaming down his face, but his hips won’t stop.
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mangosrar · 8 months
Text
call it what you want pt2
matt sturniolo x fem reader.
pt1
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"i mean come on y/n, its a perfect chance for you to get back at your parents and a perfect chance for matt to get back at jess, how could you say no" nick stated.
"fuck no, jess can eat shit, and besides, id rather die lonely than have to ever be close to that loser" you replied, walking into the kitchen, with matt, nick and now chris who had walked in on you and matt screaming at each other just a few minutes before.
"shes right matt jess can eat shit" chris added, causing matt to glare at him and roll his eyes.
jess was matts bitchy, stuck up, brat of a girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend of 4 months. they had broken up about a month ago when she came to matt and told him she wasnt in the right place for a boyfriend, then posted a photo of her kissing jason atkins on her Instagram story. you honestly found the whole thing hilarious; she was some blonde bimbo who thought the sun shone out of her ass, and matt was the complete opposite, he was grumpy and dark, but someone how they ended up together.
"y/n your childish side is showing, i mean please do not fucking flatter yourself, i would rather gouge my own eyeballs out than have anyone think im with you, but i want my girlfriend back, i miss her" matt said, running a hand through his hair, leaning against the counter opposite you.
"aw are you gonna cry matty?" you mocked with a fake sad expression.
"y/n" nick said flatly. "you need this, come on" he continued.
you sighed, trying to really think this out. nick was right, but you also werent sure he would be so happy with this whole situation by the time you murdered his brother. there was a pause for a moment, all three of them staring at you, waiting for you to give in before you spoke up.
"how would it even work?" you asked.
"we post together, tell people were together, go to parties and shit with each other but in private i wanna stay as far away from your annoying ass as i can." matt said shrugging his shoulders while looking at you.
"what about school dumbass?" chris added.
"the same i guess, but dont be all up on me in the hallways i dont wanna be that annoying couple" matt grimaced.
"you and jess were that annoying couple, always making out in front of everyone and shit its gross, so just make sure you swap saliva in private" nick said, jabbing his hand out in front of him as he spoke to get his point across.
"this conversation is giving me literal back ache, im dipping, just figure it out and dont kill each other while you're at it." chris sighed, standing up and walking away.
"me too, just...no mean words towards each other, you're dating now remember" nick pleaded.
"no promises" matt muttered, watching nick walk out of the room, leaving you and matt in awkward silence.
neither of you really wanted to do this, but it was ideal, it was just annoying that you had to be so fucking rude and stubborn and attractive and smell so good. and it was infuriating that matt had to be so mean and punchable, and so sexy with a face that was so sittable. the two of you really couldnt resist stand eachother.
neither of you wanted to make eye contact, both just looking around before you broke the silence.
"do you really wanna do this?" you asked.
"no but its my only option" matt replied, still staring at you, sitting on the counter, from his position, leaning on the opposite side.
"so were really doing this?" you stated.
"i guess we are" he whispered, looking down at his feet.
"no kissing or anything though" you squinted at him. matt just hung his head and laughed before pushing himself off the counter and sauntering towards you, stopping when your knees met his stomach.
matt placed his hands on the counter, next to each one of your thighs and leaned his face closer to yours, making you suck in a breath from the closeness. "why baby? scared you'll like it?"
you couldnt deny the insatiable heat that was now blooming between your legs, he smelt so goo, his eyes looked hungry and the heat radiating off of his body onto yours made you dizzy. you swallowed thickly, desperately trying to regain your composure. there was no way in hell that he was going to get you that easily.
"i dont know where that mouth has been baby" you replied with a sickly-sweet smile, before pushing him back by his shoulders and hopping off the counter, making quick progress out of the kitchen and as far away from him as possible.
you heard him chuckle before he shouted.
"see you on Monday girlfriend" you could hear the smirk in his voice, and it only made you wanna turn around and slap the shit out of him more, but you just rolled your eyes and continued your decent from the kitchen.
god this was going to be torture.
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taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @st4rswrld @mattslolita @flowerxbunnie @lovingsturniolo @its-jennarose @ermdontmindthisaccount @secret-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @justaslvttygirl @urfavstromboli @recklesssturniolo @delimeats-000 @gloomymatt @gwenlore @nickdevora @sturnioloenthusiast @savageking3 @iloveneilperry @ifilwtmfc @savageking3 @iammattsturniolo @sturniolos4lifee @honestlybabymiracle
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moonswolfie · 3 months
Text
Princess of the commoner cafe
Oikawa, Miya twins, Ushijima, Hinata, Akaashi x fem!reader
ohshc AU!!
I've been watching a bit of ouran high school host club lately (still havent gotten very far but i am HOOKEDDDDDD) and i'm sure others have written something like this before but i wanted to throw my own hat in the ring and write this delulu ass scenario
also i apologise PROFUSELY if anyone is ooc it has been a WHILE since my last haikyuu rewatch
(btw i am working on your request anon dont you worry ;) )
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Somehow, you managed to get into the prestigious Ouran Academy based on your academic success alone. Your parents were overjoyed to send you off, even if you felt embarrased about not even being able to afford the official school uniform. You stuck out like a sore thumb on your first day, that's for sure.
At first, you thought you wouldn't fit in with anyone here. Your hypothesis was mostly correct. Everyone in your class is always talking about their latest designer bag or bragging about their new lambo or bugatti. Needless to say, it's like they're speaking in a foreign language.
They quickly lost interest in you after you couldn't list your top ten designer brands (with reasons as to why you chose those specific ones!!!). Yeah, friends are kind of out of the picture.
So when your curiosity got the better of you one day and you visited the host club all the girls in your class keep squealing about you didn't expect things to develop like this.
"Are you gonna visit today too? Are you?!" Hinata, the boy from the other class attached himself to your arm and looked at you with sparkling eyes. "Of course I am." you smiled at him, a little giddy about returning to the club once more.
"We have a special theme today, just for you..." he told you that while wearing a mischevious grin but refused to elaborate. The boys at the club always go through great lengths to get you curious and draw you back into the club. Not just Hinata, all of them.
Let's just say you've become quite the sensation among the hosts of the Ouran High school host club. You aren't exactly sure how you managed to get yourself in this situation, but you aren't really complaining, either. You'd definitely take being adored by the 6 hotties of the school over being ignored by everyone for all your 3 years of high school.
All you did was visit the club a few times out of curiosity, far too afraid to actually openly interact with the hosts considering the crowd of girls always gathered around them. Not to mention you'd definitely get gawked at for your clothes, mannerisms and conversation topics (and not in a good way).
Akaashi was the first to take notice of you, and somehow that evolved into every other host becoming interested, too.
Anyways, Hinata seemed very satisfied with your promise to come visit once again and ran off, shouting that you have to promise to come visit him first.
Well, there's nothing to it but to do it, you suppose.
.
"Welcome, dear guests, to the host club!" all the guys greeted you and a group of other girls who also came as soon as they possibly could. They were practically pushing eachother in front of the door. Not that you can blame them.
As soon as you stepped into the room, you felt like you were standing at the local cafe located just around the corner from your house. It felt warm and homey. So this is what they went for this time. A strange choice, considering their usually extravagant themes.
"Heya, gir-" Atsumu's smug voice greeted you from behind and you turned around to see that he was about to envelop you in his arms. "Hey, ya lost the bet. I get her first." Osamu pulled Atsumu back by his barista apron before he could actually touch you. Atsumu grumbled something you couldn't quite hear, which you presume was some not so nice words directed towards his brother.
"Actually, I made a promise to Hinata that he'd be the first one I visit." you smiled at the twins apologetically. Neither of them seemed too pleased about the prospect of that, though. "Why? Ya like him more than us?" Atsumu placed his hands on his hips, glaring at you.
"Hahaha, a promise is a promise. I'll be back for you two right after, don't worry." you waved the twins off, winking. That seemed to soften their expressions a bit. But maybe it wasn't the smartest idea, looking back on it. They're definitely going to fight over which one of them you winked at later.
Hinata greeted you enthusiastically, looking overjoyed at seeing you. His cheeks blushed a nice pink color when he smiled at you. "Wait here, wait here." he held out an antique looking chair for you and you sat down behind one of the tables. Then he ran off somewhere.
You're always impressed by how lavishly they decorate their club. I guess being rich can really do wonders for club decor.
"Are you enjoying today's theme? I made sure to pick out some fitting decorations." Akaashi suddenly appeared behind you. You could have sworn you didn't hear his footsteps. Maybe you were just too absorbed in observing the theme, though. Haha, even all the hosts are dressed like baristas.
"Yeah..." you looked into Akaashi's eyes, admiring their color. You've always found him to have a calming presence, even if he can be mischevious at times. That just adds on to his personality, doesn't it? You think it's quite a shame that he isn't as popular as a certain someone in the club.
"It seems to me you're enjoying something other than the theme." you got snapped out of your thoughts by Akaashi's voice. Oops, you must have been staring at him again. You turned away, making a quick apology. You felt a little giddy all of a sudden.
"Oh, but when did I ever say I dislike the attention?" Akaashi gently grabbed your chin, turning your face back to him. Somehow, he seems more affectionate towards you than he does to the other girls who request him. Atleast you've never seen him grab other girls' chins. You were sure you probably looked awestruck in this moment.
"Hey! Stop hogging her to yourself!" Hinata was running back to the two of you, holding a fancy cup of (presumably) coffee. On his way to stop Akaashi from wooing you, he didn't notice a wire below his feet and he tripped over it.
...Which happened to spill hot coffee all over your shirt and shattered the cup to pieces. "Ugh... I'm okay, don't- AAAAH!" Hinata yelled upon seeing your shirt.
"I'll go get new clothes!" Akaashi seemed tense, quickly turning on his heels and running off.
Luckily, the coffee was cool enough to not give you burns. You aren't even worried about the shirt that much either, you've been on the fence about donating it anyways.
"Aaah, I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry." Hinata seemed almost dramatically apologetic, bowing down before you in apology over and over.
"What is going on over here?" you heard a smug voice that could belong to one person and one person only. The leader and self proclaimed king of the club, Oikawa, was now approaching the two of you. And he didn't seem very happy, mind you.
"Ah, Oikawa! It's, umm..." Hinata nervously whipped his head around to meet Oikawa's charming chocolate eyes.
"Hinata accidentally spilled coffee on me." Hinata looked at you sadly, like you just betrayed him. You gasped, realising you weren't supposed to reveal that unless you wanted Hinata to feel Oikawa's wrath. Normally he would just scold Hinata for his clumsiness, but when it comes to you specifically, he gets protective. Somehow, he even looks like a supermodel while wearing a barista uniform.
"He... Oh, that won't do. You should spend less time with clumsy good-for-nothings and spend more time with..." he tilted your chin towards him "...Me."
As much as you think Oikawa is an obnoxious jerk, he always manages to charm your negative feelings away when he does something like that. Gets you feeling all giddy like the main character of a badly written shojo anime.
"Uh-huh. Whatever you say, bro." you kept your face as cold as you possibly could in that situation. It seemed to you like the word "bro" was a direct stab to his heart, but he quickly recovered, putting on his best flirty face. "I will help you clean yourself up, my princess. We simply must get you out of that dreadful shirt." Oikawa shot poor Hinata a glare. You're definitely buying him "that one good commoner chocolate" (as Hinata likes to call it) later.
"Uh, Akaashi's already-"
"Now now now, what's goin' on here?" things are about to get a lot more complicated, you reckon. Because now the twins have showed up.
"We heard precious china shatterin' and wanted to see what caused it." Osamu added. A few girls were blushing a few meters behind the twins, probably too nervous to approach the two right now.
"Ya said you'd come visit us right after! And now yer here with this a-" Atsumu immediately stopped complaining when he saw your shirt. Both the twins shot poor poor Hinata a glare. (One "poor" for each twin.)
"See, I told ya I was a better fit for ya. I'd never spill coffee on ya." Osamu crossed his arms.
"What do ya mean "the better fit for ya"? Clearly, I'm the better one 'round here. And say the wink was meant for me while we're at it, won't ya?!" Atsumu's anger was now directed back at Osamu. (Akaashi would joke that it's back to where it's supposed to be.)
"I was kinda winking at-"
"Oh, please. Don't joke around with me. We all know I'm the best fit for her." Oikawa posed dramatically, which looked funny because of his not very prince-like outfit.
This always ends up happening. At this point you've given up on stopping it. The twins start bickering with Oikawa while girls on both sides squeal for them to calm down, tearfully inviting the boys back into their embraces.
You look behind you, where Ushijima is staring at you knowingly. You give him a relieved smile, knowing what's about to come. Whenever the other guys get into duels over who gets to recieve your attention, Ushijima is always there to pull you out of the situation.
The duels get so heated that you get to spend a few minutes alone with him before the others even notice you're gone. And so you follow the routine of letting him whisk you away to a lonely corner of the club room.
"Do you know why the theme is a commoner cafe?" he asks after a few moments of silence. He's looking at you with complete seriousness, but you don't miss the hint of a smile on his face. Enchanted by such a sight, you shake your head no dreamily.
"It was to impress you. Akaashi thought of the idea." Your eyes widened. Now you just feel giddy that Akaashi actually remembered that one time you told him you used to visit a cozy cafe close to your house with your parents growing up. It was all the way back when he first acknowledged your existence and decided to sit around with you for a few minutes, sipping tea from a cup that probably costs more than your phone.
"Oh... I like it. I really do." you smiled up at Ushijima. You could swear a bit of blush appeared on his cheeks. He silently put an arm around you, pulling you close to him. You like when he does that.
When all of the hosts are swooning over you like this while wearing barista uniforms, you feel like the princess of a commoner cafe.
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fortunelowtier · 2 months
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I was gonna reblog my original post but I didn't wanna spam people with a long ass post (this post is already long enough) so instead I'll just link the previous post here and if yall wanna go look at it you can, but the short version is that a few days ago I made a post talking about HBs incredibly high turnover rate, and apparently within a few days it got enough traction to where it started spreading to the higher-ups of Spindlehorse, including Viv herself. I decided to make this update post just as a way to debunk what I can and as clearly as I can. 
First tweet:
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So for starters, they say this as if IMDB's numbers aren't publically available, it's not like I pulled these numbers out of my ass without merit, these are numbers I got off of IMDB. And I know some people might pull the high school English teacher card of “Anyone can edit that!!” and to be honest I dont feel like going into the semantics of one of the most non-arguments you can possibly use so all I’ll say is that the process of editing a Wikipedia or IMDB page is not as easy as your English teachers taught you to think it is. Sure you can edit it but it's another story if the edit will be saved. There's moderation, it's not a free-for-all.
Also, I find it interesting how this tweet was made (and subsequently deleted) mere days after their promotion to Animation Director, and if there's anything I've learned from Spindlehorse controversies it is that if someone is in any real position at the top of the companies proverbial food chain they shouldn't be allowed to speak for the experiences of employees lower on the ladder than them, especially when a lot of them seem to have a habit of denying certain claims despite the public availability of numerous pieces of evidence pointing toward the contrary
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It's like if you visited a bunch of former employees of a restaurant with a high turnover rate with proof that they had worked there and for exactly how long they worked there and then the manager comes along and tries to basically say “NUH UH” despite information proving the contrary being publicly available (maybe not the best analogy but you get what I mean)
Ok now onto the second one by Viv herself:
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There’s a lot to dissect here so I’m gonna break it down bit by bit.
Firstly:
"They’re listing every single credited person in EVERY art department"
So the way I got my numbers was by going to the Series Animation Department section of HB's IMDB, highlighting every name from the beginning of the section to the end, and then pasting them into this website which gave me the line count of 444. Was that the most optimal way of doing so? No, especially after I learned after the fact that there's a way to just see the numbers straight up, but that hardly matters considering the fact that there are allegedly more people in the animation dept who were uncredited, however, I'm still waiting on some more info from my source as to the validity and the scale of these claims (How many people were uncredited, how little were they paid for their work, etc etc) to make a proper post about it, so until then ill just leave it at that as to not make accusations without merit.
So, humoring Viv, I added up the total IMDB credits for the Art Dept and Visual Effects Dept, as well as the Sound Dept since I qualify sound as a form of art and because I wanted to give Viv as fair a chance as possible and actually tally the total credits of “every art department” as Viv claims I did, and it still only equals 155 total credits, a little over a third of the credits in the Animation Dept
Secondly:
“That includes the TC and Chaos credits”
So these are in reference to Toon City and Chaos Emporium, 2 companies known as a source for outsourcing animation, and just to humor Viv I decided to go onto IMDB and tally up all of the Chaos and TC credits since according to her that's where I got most of my final number.
After doing so, Chaos Emporium had a total of 15 credits, and Toon City had a total of 45
So Viv is making it seem like the TC and CE credits make up a large majority of them, which is why I got the number I did, when in reality when combined they only equal 60 credits. 14% of the total (technically it’s 13.5% but I’m rounding to the nearest whole for the sake of convenience)
Thirdly:
“We dont even have 400 people. Simply Misinformation.”
You’re right Viv, you dont have 400 people, because I never said you did, nor did I imply you did. I said you've had 400. Of course you dont have 400 current employees, your company burns through them like paper because you underpay them while you go burning your Amazon and merch money on cruises and vacations and continuously post photos of you buying from zionist companies knowing full well that they're part of an active boycott.
So yeah, that's my 2 cents. Sorry if this sounded like some shit you'd see on a Twitlonger but after Viv was made aware of the posts I made about the turnover rate (and subsequently blocked me within the hour after seeing it) I knew that it wasn't gonna be long before I had people DMing me about how wrong I was because “Viv said it was wrong so it must be wrong”. 
One more thing I wanna add because I've gotten a lot of angry messages/asks about this, a lot of Viv stans seem to think I have this bizarre hate boner for Viv when I really don’t. I don’t hate Viv, I hate what she’s become. I hate how ever since the HH pilot she’s become a bully who can’t take criticism. And not just on the surface level of “criticism makes her upset”, because yea no shit, criticism makes everyone upset at least a little, and it's why I hate it when people see someone being upset at criticism and going “ERMM, CANT TAKE CRITICISM?”
When I say “Viv can’t take criticism” I mean she actively tries to shut down any convo about it without trying to learn from it. She blocks anyone who talks poorly about her or her company and makes baseless claims knowing full well her fans will follow her to the ends of Hell regardless of whether or not what she’s saying is even correct.
That’s all I got for now
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rkvriki · 1 year
Text
you spin me up high - lee heeseung (m)
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pairing: football team captain!heeseung x slightly bimbo!fem reader
synopsis: No one was surprised when the football star Lee Heeseung started dating the local bimbo, Y/n L/n. They were like a match made in heaven hell, they weren't an official item, but how does Heeseung react when he sees his team rival approach her?
WARNINGS ! mature content (sorry to my minor followers >-< also its my first time writing smut to pls have mercy on me), jealousy, mentions of reader being a little dumb :D, public sex (in the school's bathroom lolz), oral (f receiving), heeseung calls reader a slut once lmao, sex?? they kinda fight, reader is sensitive :(, heeseung is a lil possessive, if there's more tell me pls 😭 grammar errors, proofreading is a painfull process ok? word count: 5.6k (i popped my full smut cherry ok )
A/N: um hello?! guess i wrote smut for the first time djfhdf do i like it? idk, maybe lmao. this is nothing like my blog at all, but this idea wasn't getting out of my head and i kinda just wrote it. thank you bae @dazed-hee for reassuring my insecure ass and thank you @loveywon for giving me energy to write this thing, i love you guys. if its too bad pls dont say anything and pretend it good okay?
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You purse your lips as you look in the mirror, watching the way the light pink lipgloss transferred from one lip to another. Smiling at the mirror, you appreciated the final look of the hard work you did on your face and outfit, as you slightly adjusted your top.
You took a lot of pride in your beauty, you were very aware of your looks and you knew everyone who you encountered in your life found you pretty. It is obvious to the public’s eye, it’s an undeniable beauty. You were always one to spend hours and hours to make yourself look the best for the most simple activities, you just never knew when you’ll have a pleasant encounter. If needed, anyone could spot you from a mile away with your (mostly pink) bright and sparkly clothes and the big white bows that held your hair in many ways, adorning it in the prettiest way. 
Anyone who didn’t know personally would say you were an airhead and a little bit dumb. It’s not your fault people talk about boring stuff that you know nothing about. The way your big doe eyes stared into the nothingness when you listened to someone talk about complex topics revealed that, in fact, there were no thoughts in that pretty head of yours. People often perceive you as someone unintelligent, when that wasn’t true at all, you are just a tiny bit slow. You consider yourself pretty successful seeing that you were in your dream college studying dentistry. You loved going to classes and socializing with people you knew in college. Making friends wasn’t a problem for you, always being a social butterfly since you were a little girl, but sadly there were girls who were mean to you, which often makes you pout to Heeseung when one of them frowns and tells you off, asking him why were they so mean and he just reassures you that they are jealous of your beauty and the fact you were able to score the hottest guy in college, which was not a lie, to be honest. 
You loved Heeseung very much, even if you guys weren’t an official item you didn’t see other people and some girls in your school didn’t take that lightly. Both of you had a reputation for sleeping around but in different ways. Heeseung was known for going to parties and just fucking anyone who had a vagina, but never taking them seriously, only seeing them as one time hook-ups. While you were just known for being a hot bimbo who often liked to thank people for favors in a more fun way than usual, like for example, when Jeongin helped you fix your pc setup and you kissed his dimpled cheek and suddenly you were kissing his dick, it happens sometimes and you were fine with that. You had no shame about your sexuality, you were free to do whatever you wanted and to have sex with whoever you pleased.
Getting up from your seat in front of your big vanity, you walked to where your bunny’s cage was. Daisy was your cute bunny, a gift from a previous relationship. You petted her little head promising her cuddles and snacks when you came back. After greeting her goodbye you grabbed your things for class and made your way out of your apartment as your car keys jiggled in your hand.
Reaching campus, obviously only after getting a muffin from the local cafe, you 
sighed getting mentally ready for classes. Smiling to yourself, you composed your posture while manifesting the best day you could ever have, not wanting anything or anyone to ruin the perfect mood you woke up with.
As soon as you walked in the hallway you heard people greet you, which you returned with your sweet toothy smile and a wave. Your sweet vanilla scent filled the area and the heels from your platform shoes could be heard, making people’s heads turn to you.
“Hey y/n, love the skirt!” a girl you recognized from biology class said, as she complimented you, making you smile at her and tell her a high pitched thanks in return. You kept walking as more people greeted you. Popularity wasn’t something you seeked but it was something you had, maybe a consequence of your looks or your bubbly personality, which was something people usually took advantage of. It wasn’t something that bothered you in the beginning, when you were unaware of some girls’ intentions with you when they approached you so suddenly asking to be friends with you, but soon, you realized how you were being used by them so they could get with a guy they wanted or just to try and be as popular as you were. Even so, you kept up the nice and humble personality you always had, hence why you were so known amongst students, always showing availability to help others that sometimes wasn’t given in return, making your big heart break a little.
Looking at the time on your phone, it marked 9:30am and you were relieved to see you had a lot of time until class started. You came early today to spend a little time with Heeseung, since your classes didn’t start until 11am. You made your way to the campus cafeteria that was mostly empty aside from people like you who only had classes later in the morning. You sat at a table that had two seats, since Heeseung would arrive at any moment now, knowing him he probably went to hit the gym before meeting you. You decided to distract yourself by playing games on your phone.  As you were doing so, someone walked towards you, making you look up at them. In front of you was one of Heeseng’s teammates that was one year above you, one that he had warned you about, but you being you, still smiled at him.
“Hey, princess. Fancy seeing you here alone.” You cringed at the pet name he gave you that sounded different when it came from Hee’s mouth, but still you kept the smile nonetheless. “Hey, Jihoon! Yeah, it’s nice seeing you too!” You were trying your best not to sound rude, the glint in his eyes didn’t hide his intentions with you. 
Flirting with guys for fun is almost a hobby for you, or an old one. Since you started your thing with Heeseung it didn’t happen that much, except in situations where you needed free drinks or discounts at your favorite make up store. Still, you know when to and not to do it and right now, it’s a case where it’s preferable if you don’t do it and it’s making you really nervous. Jihoon had a reputation for stealing other guys’ girls but never in his life did he do it to any of his teammates, especially to Heeseung. He knew it could take his spot in the team away and he worked his ass off to get where he is right now. Besides, everyone knows better than to mess with Heeseung, who was also known for giving good ass beatings when needed to, but at this moment he seemed to forget about it or just didn’t care at all. 
Looking behind Jihoon you noticed his friend group seated in a table further from yours, meaning this was probably a planned encounter from their side. Jihoon’s chuckle brought you back to reality, making you look back at him.
“Couldn’t help but notice you look so pretty from afar and even prettier now that i got a closer look.” 
“Thanks! I worked really hard on my makeup today.” You answered him looking up at him with your doe eyes, trying to keep up the sweet tone in your voice. Before you and Heeseung started whatever you had going on, Jihoon already claimed you as his “friend” and you did too! In your head the comments he made for you were nothing but nice compliments friends gave each other, but when Heeseung found out about it he didn’t seem happy to know and almost scolded you to stay away from him because boys like him never had good intentions with you. The sound of the cafeteria’s door opening didn’t make Jihoon look back but it made you look, praying it was finally Heeseung, and thankfully your prayers were answered as he walked in looking around, probably trying to find you. You could hear Jihoon’s voice, but you paid him no attention as you saw Heeseung’s face frown when he spotted the man in front of you. Your heart started beating a little faster, as you anticipated the possible interaction between the two men.
“Say how about you and I spend some time alone this Fri-” 
Jihoon was quickly cut by the sound of a chair scraping against the ground. He looked to where it came from only to see Heeseung sitting while looking at him with a raised brow. Jihoon stood in his place, obviously not expecting to see your boyfriend, thinking you were gonna be here alone.
“I don’t think there’s anything for you to see here, so might as well make your way out and leave.” 
Jihoon opened his mouth to say something but he decided it was best to not say anything for the sake of his football career. As he turned in his heels to walk away, Heeseung got up and grabbed the other man’s shoulder, leaning down to his height and muttering in his ear “I really hope this is the last time I see you talk to her or even come close to it. You and I both know better than letting this happen again, don’t we?” Jihoon’s eye slightly twitched as he shrugged Heeseung’s hand off his shoulder and walked away from where you were.
Heeseung sat back, an angry frown adorned his face. “You took too long!” You said after checking it was already 10am, as you slightly pouted at him while eating the small piece that was left from your muffin. “What did I tell you about Jihoon? I thought I had warned you about him, or did I?” From the way he was talking you could see he was not a little bit happy with the situation but it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t just be rude to him. “It’s not my fault Hee, besides he did nothing, he was just complimenting me!” Heeseung just seemed to get angrier with your answer, making a pout make its way back to your plush lips. “Y/n, how many times do i need to tell you what his intentions are, geez!” Y/n, he only called you that when he was mad. Why is he getting mad at you when it’s not your fault. You didn’t mean to get mad at him, but the way he was acting with you hurt you a little. You felt your eyes water slightly. “Look Heeseung, I know how to protect myself, I don't need you to warn me about Jihoon or anyone, besides he never did anything to me!” You felt bad talking with him like that, but you weren’t a helpless child, you were a little slow but not dumb. Heeseung’s frown deepened after hearing your words, he should be the one getting mad not you at him. “I don't want to keep having this conversation with you. I’m leaving now.” Heeseung grabbed his bag as he got up to leave. Words weren’t coming out of your mouth no matter how many times you opened it to talk and ask him to stay. As the cafeteria’s door slammed close you felt your eyes water with tears as you flinched at the sound. Pouting your lips, you started wondering why he got so mad when you did nothing wrong. 
You understood he was being protective of you but it still broke your heart into pieces when his loud voice echoed back in your mind. A single tear fell from your eyes making you quickly but carefully wipe it so as to not ruin your makeup that you put extra effort in. You grabbed your mini mirror from your bag as you checked your face, smiling when it was still intact. You grabbed your stuff as you decided to text your friends to check if it was available since your class wasn’t until 40 minutes.
—-------------------------------
“And he got really mad at me when it wasn’t even my fault!” 
Chaewon and you were sitting in the benches in the open area of campus as you were telling her about this morning's events. Chaewon has been your friend since you entered college and both of you seemed to click instantly when you met at the dorm that both of you decided to move out from, getting your own apartments. You both shared everything with each other, she was your ride or die and shopping partner. She was the first one to know when Heeseung slid in your dm’s and she wasn’t so happy about it. Knowing about his reputation, she always told you to be careful afraid you might get hurt but you always reassured her that he was treating you nicely and after a year of going out with him she stopped nagging about the boy. Hearing this story, Chaewon wanted to give a I warned you type of scolding, but she held herself back seeing you teary eyed as you spoke. She let out a sigh as she put down the cereal bar she was eating. 
“Look I really want to tell you that I knew this would happen but I won't. He is being a complete asshole and don’t you dare run to him, he is the one who should be apologizing and if he really likes you he will.” She grabbed your fidgeting hands as she kept talking “Besides, as much as it hurts me to admit it, in a whole year Heeseung never did anything to hurt you and even though this doesn’t justify his behavior, he probably was acting out of jealousy I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean to let it out on you.” You sighed as you looked at her slightly smiling. “Yeah I know that but he still hurt me a lot.” You said as you sniffled and held your tears back. “Anyway, class is almost starting so I’ll get going and you should too.” Chaewon said as she got up and grabbed her things, waiting for you to do the same. You bid her goodbye and made your way to where your class was.
—-------------------------------
You had your head propped in your head as you tried to understand what the teacher was saying, but his words were nothing but background noise as you couldn’t stop thinking about Heeseung. You grabbed your pen as you started to take notes, midterms were close and you couldn’t afford to fail. As you were focused on the teacher's explanation you heard your phone buzz in your bag but ignored it and kept focusing on class. You kept writing and the buzz continued making some heads turn into your direction. You muttered an apology as you grabbed your phone to check who was texting you, seeing Heeseung’s name on your screen.
hee💘: meet me in the boy’s bathroom on the 2nd floor
hee💘: now
You kept staring at his texts not knowing what to do. Chaewon’s words were replaying in your head “don’t you dare go back to him”. You know you should ignore him, but just once wouldn’t hurt anyone, besides she doesn’t need to know about this. Putting your phone back in your bag along with the rest of your supplies, you got up quietly to not disturb anyone. You felt your hands shaking in anticipation as you walked down the hallway making your way upstairs to the second floor. Your legs felt wobbly as you felt the tight anxious feeling forming in your chest, not knowing what to expect from this encounter. You reached the second floor and looked around trying to find the way to the bathroom. As you were almost reaching your destination, you saw Heeseung from afar leaning against the wall as he scrolled through his phone. The sound of your steps getting closer made him look up just to find you looking at him with the does he adored so much, making him try his best to not melt right then and there. He put his phone away and stood straight as he looked you up and down, making you gulp, fearing he might say. Heeseung didn’t say anything as pushed you by the wrist, taking you inside the bathroom. You let your things fall to the ground, as he pushed you against the door, his hand reaching behind you to lock the door as the other made its way around your waist. 
Your head was feeling fuzzy as your mind was filled with nothing but Heeseung, the electric feeling of his hands caressing your waist made your heart flutter. Your heart started beating faster as you looked in his eyes, pupils dilated and filled with lust. Your hands slowly made their way around his neck as he leaned his head down to your level. Your noses were touching and he had his forehead touching yours, a small movement would make your lips touch, but still, none of you dared to make a move as you stared into each others’ eyes. 
You were the first to break eye contact as you slammed your lips against his’, not being able to hold it anymore, the tension in the air was heavy and it was making you feel like you were out of breath. Heeseung kissed you back with as much force as you did, both of your lips moving together, fitting like a puzzle piece falling in the right place. You felt one of Heeseung’s hands move down to your butt, squeezing the plump flesh there, making you gasp. He took it as an opportunity to slide his tongue inside your mouth, making you leave a quiet moan inside his own mouth. His tongue moved in sync with yours, entwined and fighting for dominance. Your hands started moving as if on their own, sliding down his body until they reached his belt, pulling his hips against your own. You moaned at the feeling of his slightly hardened length, one of your hands leaving its palace from the belt and coming to his front to rub at his boner, making him hiss in your mouth. 
The room was filled with sounds of your lips smacking against each other along with the sounds you both let out. Hesseung’s hand left your waist as it slowly moved down your torso towards your tight, squeezing the flesh there. His hand slid to the inside of your thigh, the feeling of his hand making your skin crawl with chills as his hand moved further, touching your clothed core, feeling the outline of your slit. His thumb applied pressure in your clit, just enough to make you pull away from the kiss, gasping for air and turning your head away from him. Heeseung started leaving kisses on your neck, reaching for the spot he knew made you crazy as he left marks along the side of it, making you moan out loud at the feeling of his lips along with his thumb on your clit. 
“Already going dumb for me, huh baby?” He said as he smirked against your neck, making you hide your face in his neck in embarrassment. “Nuh-uh, don’t shy away from me now baby. Look at me, baby.” You took your face from his neck, leaning your head back against the door as you looked up at him. Heeseung smiled at you, taking both of his hands to cradle your face against his palms. “You know I love you right?” You nodded, smiling at him, as your face leaned against his touch. “And I love you, Hee, so much.” Heeseung leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, as he left a breathy chuckle. He connected your lips again, swiping his tongue against your lower lip, making you open your mouth as his tongue made its way to yours. His hands started going inside your top, moving up to your bra, as he started massaging your breasts, you started moaning inside his mouth, muffling the sounds you made. 
“Hee, just take my shirt off, please.” You whined against his lips as he chuckled at your eagerness. He pulled away from your lips and pushed your shirt up, taking it off of you with ease. You pulled him to kiss you again, as his hands snaked around your back, unclasping your bra, moving it down your arms and letting it fall freely onto the floor. His mouth moved from your lips to your neck, trailing down to your collarbones, marking the area, leaving trails of spit as he started kissing down to your nipples. His mouth automatically closed around your left nipple, sucking the small nub as his free hand moved to massage and pinch the other. Heeseung’s mouth was making loud wet sounds, mixing in the air with your breathy moans. You rubbed your thighs together, desperate for friction, feeling your underwear stick against your core. 
“Hee, please, I need more.” You whined as you twisted and turned against the door. “Please what baby, need you to be specific, angel.” He said as he moved his mouth to your other boob, a trail of spit connecting it to your now abused boob from all the biting and sucking. You whined in complaint, your brain already not functioning completely as the only thing you could think about now was how much you needed Heeseung’s cock or fingers. “Need your fingers, please Hee, just give me something.” The desperation in your voice was noticeable and Heeseung spent no time in pulling your skirt down along with your panties, leaving you naked aside from your shoes and pink lacy socks that you loved so much. 
Heeseung picked you up and sat you down in one of the toilets inside the stalls. He kneeled down in front of you, putting your legs on his shoulders, giving him a perfect view of your raw and glistening cunt. He licked his lips as he looked at you, seeing the neediness in your eyes. He started kissing the inside of your thighs, alternating between licking and biting the flesh, making you whine at the pleasure the pain gave you. You felt his breath hitting your pussy, making you shiver from the feeling and shudder in anticipation. His thumbs moved to your labia, as they pushed your lips apart, fully exposing you to him. 
“Hee, please, I can’t wait anymore, I beg you.” Your whines were getting louder, leaving little to the imagination of anyone who passed by. “Baby I will do anything you want, but I need you to be quiet, can you do that for me?” You nodded, not being able to form coherent words even if you tried. 
Heeseung finally let his mouth fall against your pussy, as his lips found their place around your clit, sucking the swollen nub, making you bite your lip to try to hold back your moans, your hands tangled in his hair, needing something to grasp onto. His tongue started making figure 8 in your nub, your toes curling at the pleasure he was giving you, your mouth fell open into an O shape as breathy moans slipped past your lips. Heeseung’s mouth left your cunt, making you whine at the loss, one of his hands making their way to your gaping hole, rubbing your entrance and slipping a finger inside with ease, thrusting it inside and out. You throw your head back in pleasure and let out a broken whine, making Heeseung’s move come to a halt. Your head coming back up as you looked at him, grinding your hips against his fingers, trying to get him to move. 
“If you don’t keep it downI’ll just stop right here and take care of myself and make you watch, got it?” His threat made you gulp and nod quickly at his words. You gasped as his finger started moving again at a faster pace. “Please, more, Hee. Give me more!” Your voice came out as a whisper, feeling like if you talked louder your voice would betray you. Heeseung complied with your request as he inserted another finger inside your leaking hole. You bring your hands against your mouth, trying to muffle the noises, as you feel yourself getting closer to your high. Your walls were tightening against his fingers as you felt the knot form in your tummy. Heeseung felt that and he put his mouth back on your clit, sucking the poor nub, aiding you to reach your high faster. One of your hands made their way back in his hair, pulling the hair, feeling the knot almost bursting. 
“Hee, I’m so fucking close, don’t stop. Oh, please, don’t stop.” You breathed out as your chest heaved with pleasure. Little high pitched whines started escaping your mouth, getting louder and louder as you got closer. “Fuck, Heeseung, I’m gonna cum! Shit Hee, I’m cum-” Your didn’t even get to finish your sentence as you reached your climax, arching your back away from the toilet, feeling your walls pulse aggressively around Heeseung’s fingers. He moaned as he tasted your cum against his tongue, his fingers still moving, helping you ride out your orgasm. When you got more calm, Heeseung took his fingers out, pushing them inside your mouth making you lick them clean as his mouth licked your pussy clean, making you choke on his fingers when you tried to gasp from overstimulation. 
Heeseung pulled back, smirking as he looked at your fucked out state. You pulled him by his neck, slamming your lips against his, tasting yourself in his tongue. You both were moaning in the kiss, you needy more and Heeseung needing to relieve the raging boner that was pushing against his pants, almost painfully. You pulled away from the kiss, breathless and gasping for air. You looked down to his crotch seeing his boner, now more prominent and definitely rock hard. Poor baby held back this hold time, you thought. 
“Hee, I want to suck you off.”
“There’s no time for that, classes are almost ending and I just want to feel your pussy right now.” 
“But i wan-” Heeseung cut you off by slamming his lips against yours. You instantly fall into his touch, your hands immediately make their way inside his shirt, feeling his abs against your touch. You started to pull his shirt up, making him pull away from you to take it off of him. Your lips connected again, needy moans leaving both of your lips and your noses bumped against each other. Your hands fumbled around his thighs as you finally found his belt and started unbuckling it, undoing his button to finally push his pants down enough to reveal his boxers, both too needy to take them off completely. Your hands palmed and squeezed his cock, making him groan against your lips and roll his hips against your hand. your hands wrapped around the waistband of his underwear to pull it down, freeing his cock making it slap against his abs, staining them with pre cum. You pulled away from him to look at his cock, mouth watering at the sight before you. You never had seen such a pretty cock, curved just the perfect way, with one vein adorning the underside, going from the base to the tip. You raised your hand to wrap around the base, tightening it around his member and moving it up until it reached the tip, watching as a bead of cum spilled from his tip. You started moving your hand up and down his length, making him hiss as he threw his head back. 
“Fuck baby, you’re so good for me.” He said as he looked at you, making you smile sweetly at him, feeling fuzzy on the inside as you kept your movements steady. “Shit. Baby, come here, if I don't get inside you right now I’ll go crazy.”
Heeseung picked you up once again, you automatically wrapped your legs around his waist as he pushed you against the wall. Your hands were around his neck as he grabbed his cock and aligned it with your entrance.
“Are you ready, baby?”
“Yeah, go on.” 
With your consent, Heeseung slid himself inside you with ease, a slick sound echoing in the stall as he buried himself completely inside you, making you open your mouth as a silent moan left your mouth as he put his face on the crook of your neck. He started moving at a slow pace, making you throw your head against the wall from the delicious feeling his cock gave you. His slow movements never faltered, not failing to make you squirm in his hold, but still you needed more.
“Hee, please faster.” You pleaded, needing more from him.
“You’re one needy slut, aren’t you? Always asking for more, mnh?” 
Despite his words, Heeseung adjusted your position in his arms before he started slamming his hips against yours. Instantly, you hid your face in the crook of his neck to muffle the sounds that escaped your lips. The sound of his balls hitting your ass echoed in the stall and could possibly be heard by anyone standing close to the door outside. Gasps were leaving your lips, combining with Heeseungs low groans against your own neck. The squelching sound coming from your pussy was like music to Heeseung’s ears, making his dick twitch inside you, causing you to let out a loud moan. Your nails scratched down his back enough to make it bleed a little and your brain was numb from all the pleasure you had received today, feeling grateful for Heeseung and his perfect cock. 
Heeseung changes his position slightly, making the tip of his cock hit the spongy spot inside you, making you clench tightly against his throbbing cock.You were bouncing up and down in his length, your tits bouncing right in front of his face, making his lean down to put on of your nipples in his mouth. The feeling of his tip repeatedly hitting that spot along with the friction his pelvis caused against your clit, made you feel the familiar knot form again, making you lean back fully against the wall as Heeseung’s thrusts started getting sloppy, meaning he was also close.
“Heeseung I’m going- fuck”
“I know, baby, me too. Cum with me, baby. Can you do that?” You nodded at his words, feeling yourself clench again. Heeseung’s hand came down to where your bodies met and he started rubbing your clit in fast motions, making you get closer to your high. Your breath started getting quicker with each thrust. Your tits bouncing with every movement you and him made.
“Fuck. Hee, I’m so close, shit!” You said as you felt your clit pulsating. “Shit, come for me baby, fuck.”
You did as he said as you felt yourself cum, gushing your essence all over his cock. Your legs were shaking and your hands were squeezing his biceps as you. His release coming right after yours, feeling his cum paint your walls, the warm liquid starting to form a white ring around his base. Heeseung moaned as you both rode out your highs, hissing from the slight overstimulation.  He slowly pulled out of you, watching as your pussy filled with his cum started slowly leaking.
The post climax reality was hitting you and you felt a pang in your chest, reminding yourself that you should be mad and hurt at him. Heeseung felt the shift in your mood, knowing very well why you were feeling like this. Before he did anything, he helped you clean up, grabbing toilet paper to clean your thighs and cunt, making you hiss from how sensitive you still were, which made him whisper a small apology before he kissed your cheek. After you both were clean you picked the clothes scattered across the floor, leaving the stall you checked yourself in the mirror seeing you red and slightly sweaty, ready to make the walk of shame as you heard the bell ring just in time.
Before you could leave Heeseung grabbed your hand making you look at him.
“Um listen, you probably think I'm a jerk right now, which you have all the right to, but I want you to know that I am genuinely sorry. What I did to you was not right, I was acting out of pure jealousy but it doesn’t mean I should have let it out on you. I love you and I am sorry, angel.” He said as he looked down ashamed at himself. You smiled at him, happy that he was able to recognize his mistake. “I forgive you Heeseung, even if you hurt me a lot. What you did left me really sad and hurt, but we both know I love you too much to not forgive you. Now we should get going, everyone is leaving class.” Heeseung nodded at you grinning like an idiot in love as he bent down to your height, giving you a long peck, making you smile in the kiss. 
Heeseung grabbed your hand and unlocked the door as you both made your way out. When Heeseung opened the door, he was faced with a student who just wanted to use the bathroom ,ready to push past him until he saw you behind the taller man. You looked up and smiled, waving your manicured hand at him.
“Hi Jihoon!”
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yurislotusgarden · 8 months
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Hii!! I have a request if thats okay!! :) i love your works btw! Keep up the good work and dont forget to drink, eat and sleep well!<3
So i was thinking of Chuuya, Dazai, Nikolai, and any others if you wanna add with a reader with a ability who can talk, see and hear ghosts! I think its very cool and it barely has any recognition.. Its like toritsuka (from saiki k!) but the reader is less pervy.. and if its okay; can the reader be female? Its okay if its not!! I dont mind!!
So the reader has this ghost ability thing and they used to get bullied and shamed for it because people caught her talking to nothing but she was talking to ghosts, so she became insecure of their ability and sees it more like a curse. So technically a socially akward reader?
If you arent taking requests then you can ignore this!!
Also can i be 💞 anon?
ʚїɞ Separate! Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nikolai Gogol x Gn!Reader
ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!
ʚїɞ word count: 3208
ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, pet names used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way bcs of how I wrote this
ʚїɞ We're gonna ignore how long it has been since I posted, dear 💞 anon I'm so sorry bcs of how long this has been in my inbox ;-;, I decided to wait with writing this until I watched some of saiki k so I could understand the ability at least a little, Nikolai's part is damn short bcs I didn't really have any ideas for him </3, Only Dazai's part was proofread, I'm gonna edit this post later on to correct mistakes on Chuuya's and Nikolai's parts since the person who grammar checks my works is on a short break rn
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ཐིཋྀ He loves it
ཐིཋྀ This idiot didn't even realize that you have an ability at first because you didn't show any kind of signs😭
ཐིཋྀ He thought you didn’t have one like Ranpo but was told by Kunikida that you do, however, what it is was gonna remain a mystery until you decided to tell him yourself
ཐིཋྀ He found out on a mission where you guys had to chase down a guy with the ability to create a smokescreen
ཐིཋྀ Was about to say that it's over for the day because the guy was gone before you two could realize it (He had a plan to get the man anyway but didn’t feel like it) but then saw you talking to… air???
ཐིཋྀ Like you were just standing there while looking up and seemingly talking to someone
ཐིཋྀ You ignored his ass when he asked wtf you were doing
ཐིཋྀ The brunet was confused until you finally turned to look at him and said that you know where the guy went
ཐིཋྀ You had to briefly explain your ability when you  walked to where the guy ran off to
ཐིཋྀ He does anything to make you more open about your ability because he adores it <3
ཐིཋྀ He wishes you showed your ability off more AND HE VOICES IT OUT
ཐིཋྀ Odasaku is his guardian ghost so you told him without thinking about it since most of the time a person doesn't know the ghost protecting them
ཐིཋྀ He actually teared up when he realized you were serious and that Odasaku was watching over him :(
ཐིཋྀ He told you about Oda after that
ཐིཋྀ He randomly asks you if you see a ghost nearby when you two are outside (does it inside buildings too)
ཐིཋྀ He does it a lot
ཐིཋྀ Please hit him
ཐིཋྀ Dazai said that he wanted to kill your past bullies and you didn't believe him -he was serious-
ཐིཋྀ And no, he didn't find dirt on those people, not at all
ཐིཋྀ And he totally didn't use it later, not at all :)
ཐིཋྀ He once asked if you ever used it to cheat in school (let’s say you had a normal enough life like Tanizaki’s or something) and when you said yes he nearly yelled out “That’s my girl!” with a grin Kunikida scolded him for being loud, and for not doing his paperwork
ཐིཋྀ Sometimes he hears you talk without looking over and assumes you’re talking to him before realizing that no, it’s actually to a ghost that’s in the room
ཐིཋྀ Once Kunikida and he had a mission but the brunet was not getting up from the couch, so you walked up and after a few seconds you told him that there was a ghost, butt naked, right by his face
ཐིཋྀ He did not look up to see if you were lying or telling the truth, he just jumped up from that couch without a second thought before he was gone out the door. He only realized that you lied once they were back and you were laughing at him with Ranpo
///////////////////////////
Seiji thought he had everything planned out. He really was sure that there was no way to find him after he ran away from the two detectives. After all, who would search for a running thief in the damn sewers when there were so many better places that could’ve been used to hide in the area?
The plan was in fact a good one, in fact. Kuwahara made it look like he was going towards the warehouses nearby to camp out, while in reality, he came down to the sewers using the ladders, as there was one of the many entrances underground right behind a warehouse.
He was so sure that he wouldn’t be found, that he wasn’t seen, so pray tell, why was he standing face to face with the exact two people he was meant to avoid. The atmosphere wasn’t nice, it was cold, and the smell was even worse, Seiji was trying heavily not to let it show on his face since the two people that were after him seemed to be completely unaffected by the environment they were in. What he couldn’t hide instead, was distress. He did not plan on getting caught any time soon, and yet it looks like he’s 8 seconds away from being behind bars.
“How- How did you guys find me?!”
///////////////////////////
This was not what Dazai meant when he said that he would show you how useful your ability can be (you refused more against it being useful than anything else he said about it, so that’s what he settled for), but it kind of worked so he wasn’t complaining.
“How- How did you guys find me?!”
Kuwahara Seiji, a 25-year-old thief that uses his ability to make himself invisible for all of his plans, making it hard for the police to identify him.
“It was kind of easy, actually!~”
“You’re talking as if you had any part in finding him.”
Dazai really didn’t. Once the criminal ran away after throwing a smoke bomb on the ground, (The brunet has to give it to him, It was annoying as hell and many people would give up on going after him once the smoke settled down) the two of you had no idea which direction he went off to, as there was a few possible exits from the warehouse you first caught him in.
His solution? Asking you to question a ghost nearby if they saw the man. You were really skeptical about that, he could tell.  What he also noticed was how confused you were about his question. You didn’t understand why he would want that, at least at first. It was soon after that you realized he meant.
You can see invisible things, ghosts can see other invisible individuals as well, rendering Kuwahara’s ability useless when it comes to you chasing him down.
He realized that little advantage of yours some time back while lazing around on his favorite agency couch.
Your ghost acquaintances can be quite the helpers when it comes to investigating stuff. He heard from Kenji, that not too long ago, you had solved a case that was meant to take around a week, in a day, simply because it just so happened that a ghost was on the crime scene when it happened. You had an easy time getting clues and proving the words of the ghost to the police with their help.
He knows that a few times like those won’t stop you from being so negative about your ability, he’s aware of the impact your bullies had on you mentally even if you try to not show it, but all of those instances give you a step forward to seeing what Dazai and the others do.
“Oh c’mon ‘donna! I was the one who gave you the idea of asking someone!”
“We would be able to track him down anyway. Asking someone just made it faster.”
Catching him in the end was not hard at all. Kuwahara tried to sneak away using his ability once again, but you could still see him without him realizing it. You could see where he was walking off to, making it possible for Dazai to nullify the guy's ability and catch him before leading him to the police vehicle near the warehouse you guys were under.
“See? I told you your ability is really useful and fun!”
“Where do you see the fun in my predicament?” He could tell you were just done with him for the day, besides being confused.
“I mean, you’re almost never alone, right? You always have someone to talk to!~” He knows it’s annoying to see ghosts all the time without the option to just… not be able to do that.
A sigh came from you before answering, “Exactly, complete silence for me is a rare blessing.” in an exhausted tone.
“I would love to never be in complete silence.” He wished that you could have some sort of an on-and-off switch.
“Samu… That’s because your voices would be quiet-” “I do NOT have voices, bella!”
“Sure, continue being in Egypt.”
“What-”
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ཐིཋྀ Thinks it's very cool actually
ཐིཋྀ Imma put you down as a florist in this one, or just some small/calm kind of job
ཐིཋྀ When he first met you, he didn’t think about whether you have an ability or not since it wasn’t his business in the slightest
ཐིཋྀ Let’s say that you’re a florist and the ginger came in to buy flowers for Kouyou for example. It just so happened that one of the ghosts hanging around in your workplace was feeling silly, and had been pranking the customers the whole day, Chuuya being no exception
ཐིཋྀ When you were at the back getting the bouquet he ordered the day before, his hat was randomly taken off of his head and was floating in the air
ཐིཋྀ Bro was so confused because he knew his ability was off at the moment
ཐིཋྀ Every time he got the hat back onto his head it just floated back up😭
ཐིཋྀ The menace of a ghost stopped only once you got back out of the backroom and scolded them
ཐིཋྀ Chuuya was confused because ‘Who the fuck were you talking to???’
ཐིཋྀ He asked that exact question and even though you were visibly hesitant and nervous, you still explained your ability since he already saw it anyway
ཐིཋྀ You did not get the reaction you expected, which was being made fun of as that was what you were used to, but he instead complimented it <3
ཐིཋྀ Make sure you don’t let a name slip when it comes to your past bullies because you will see them on the news, missing :)
ཐིཋྀ On one of your first dates/early stages of dating, he gave you Marigolds which you lightly laughed at, causing him confusion before you explained their meaning to him
ཐིཋྀ Yeah, he settled for mostly giving you Cyclamens, Blackthorns, and Bluebells alongside your favorite flowers after that, just for fun
ཐིཋྀ Going with the florist thing or just generally, he would help you around with his ability if there’s something heavier to move around 
ཐིཋྀ He would voice out how often he actually wants to see you, albeit embarrassed, but he will show it in lil gestures a lot more <3
ཐིཋྀ I can just imagine him putting his hat on your head and sliding it down over your eyes before giving you a peck on the lips as a goodbye if he was at your workplace and he had to suddenly go
ཐིཋྀ He would try to slowly get you to not be so insecure about your ability
ཐིཋྀ I feel like one of The Flags would be his guardian ghost which could actually make this man cry at the thought :(
ཐིཋྀ Alright but if you met a past bully of yours, or someone newer,  that would try to shit on you for your ability, just tell him, and he will beat them up happily <3
ཐིཋྀ Or just go and have a nice talk with them about their behavior if you don’t want him to beat them up, I can promise that they will never again be rude to you if they value their lives (Or you will see them on the news or hear about them being in the hospital if they don’t ^-^)
///////////////////////////
“Are you sure that you don’t have work right now?”
“Yes, so shut your pretty mouth up and show what else you need to be moved.”
Renovation. A simple small renovation of your small shop was all that you planned. Moving some of the furniture, and changing the place of a few products for easier finding. You had thought that it would take a few days to take care of it since you planned on doing a few things every day so as to not close up the shop for a whole day unnecessarily (and you didn’t feel like doing everything in one day).
The problem was, he was supposedly not meant to know about that. Chuuya found your graphic open on your laptop and saw the renovation plans before realizing that you didn’t speak a word about that. At first, he was confused. Why didn’t you tell him? He could certainly make it faster by helping you.
Yet soon after that, he realized why. You didn’t want him to know because you knew that he would help and, therefore not do his work, something you were always worried about when he stopped by your shop. Well, he was never one not to help you, especially when there’s such an occasion. he wants a thank you kiss besides being a gentleman, your honor
“Is it really that hard to focus on your job instead of helping me move the furniture?” You sighed, pointing to a bookcase and then pointing to a place where a table stood before. “You’re gonna get in trouble.”
“I’m not, besides- HEY!” Looking up, his hat could be seen slowly floating away. He ignored you stifling a laugh as he chased after the hat. Chuuya would ignore it and just continue on with moving your stuff around, but the last time he did that, the hat was later found in a pot, making him have to wash it as it had a lot of soil on it. (A lot of his subordinates wondered why he didn’t have his hat on the next day, he didn't explain it to anyone)
“Can you tell them to stop?!” He could only guess how funny the situation looked to you. To anyone else, it just looked like the ginger was chasing after a floating hat, but you could see the menace that was taking the object away, so it ended up being funnier to you, if you nearly laughing was anything to go by.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, dear.”
“You’re so mean!”
You hummed softly before answering, “I would prefer to be called entertained.”
“It has nothing to do with what I said, doll.” Was said by Chuuya just as he finally got hold of his hat. Even if the ghost was still holding onto it, at least the hat wasn’t continuously floating away toward the flower-bare pots with just soil in them again.
“Let them have some fun in a while, Chuu, they don’t do it too often.”
“Yeah, and it just so happens that they decide to have their little fun almost every time that I come here.”
“They love you.”
“I wish they didn’t.” 
“It’s better than if they disliked you.”
“Why?”
“There’s a customer that they don’t like for being rude to me,” The ginger frowned at that information but you continued on, “And they are rude back to him every time he comes by my shop.”
“What do they do?”
“Y’know, pull on his clothes and hair, steal his things, and make them completely dirty on purpose, make him think he heard or saw something and that kind of stuff. Pretty sure they stole some of his money from the guy’s wallet.”
Chuuya was quiet for a moment before speaking up. “I think I prefer my hat being occasionally stolen…”
“Exactly!” You shouldn’t smile like that after what you said, but he’s not gonna comment on that one.
“...So the bookcase is the next to be moved, isn't it?
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ཐིཋྀ He fr felt betrayed that he didn't know immediately 
ཐིཋྀ Like he could know you for 5 minutes and be offended that your ability wasn’t one of the first things you said about yourself
ཐིཋྀ He finds it so fascinating that you can contact the dead so easily
ཐིཋྀ Don’t tell him who his guardian ghost is, no matter how much he asks
ཐིཋྀ Just hit him every time he asks, I promise it works to keep him from asking for the next 3 hours <3
ཐིཋྀ You can bet that he talks to Fyodor and Sigma about your ability (He asked you to tell Sigma that there’s multiple ghosts watching him all the time, he believed. Sigma did not sleep for the next 5 days at all because of that thought)
ཐིཋྀ You said it to him again because at some point there was a ghost actually following him, but Sigma didn’t want to believe it
ཐིཋྀ He’s gonna ask a million times for you to join him in pranks if you won’t agree the first time
ཐིཋྀ Just imagine telling someone a ghost-related thing that they can’t prove is not true
ཐིཋྀ You caused someone to be in hospital after they didn’t sleep for way too long
ཐིཋྀ You told Fyodor that there’s a ghost hanging around him all the time, but didn’t say whether it’s the guardian one or some random one, you just left the rat to ponder on which one you mean (Nikolai died when he found out)💀
///////////////////////////
“WAIT! What do you mean there’s some ghost stalking me?!” Nikolai could tell that Sigma didn't expect to be told something like that today, but again, who would?
“I didn’t say stalking, I said following you around as they seem to be interested in you.” Why did you smile so innocently at that? He doesn’t know but he does encourage you since it gets more reactions from the bi-colored-haired man.
“It doesn’t make it better?!”
“I think it does! Some ghosty is interested in our little Sigma!” He had to add something to the fire, what kind of a person would he be if he didn’t?
“Don’t call me that, Nikolai!” 
“But whyyyy?” It was Thursday, the day that the white-haired clown dubbed ‘the best day to prank Sigma!’, even though he says it every week. He also deemed himself lucky as you finally agreed to help him prank the younger man again after rejecting him multiple times.
“Because I’m not little! And I won’t believe you guys again.”
“I don’t agree,” You spoke up, “Even the ghost agrees that you’re small!”
“See Sigma? We even have your beloved ghost on our side!”
“That’s no ‘my’ ghost, and I don’t believe that they said it. [Name] could be lying for all I know!”
“But do you have any way of proving that it’s a lie?” Nikolai couldn’t wait until he took the bait.
“...”
“Exactly!” You grinned before speaking up again a moment later, “They actually have a cute nickname for you that I’m thinking of using now…”
“Should I be scared?” Nikolai regrets not getting you into the pranks earlier, after all, the younger one had no way to prove you wrong. Sigma looks genuinely frightened that it may be real this time.
“No… It’s really a cute nickname that the ghost calls you by because they didn’t know your name when they first started following you around.”
“Stalking.”
“No.”
“I wanna know it! Tell us, dove!” Was it a nickname he could use himself? Or were you lying about it being a cute one and instead it’s weird? He doesn’t know which option he would like more. If he was being honest, Nikolai was feeling like you were telling the truth and not lying again like the last time.
“Cotton.”
“Cotton? Where did that come from?”
“That’s adorable! Let’s call him that!”
“I think that’s a perfect idea, Niko!”
“No!”
Nikolai can already tell that he’s gonna have a lot of fun with that nickname in his vocabulary now.
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨ Taglist ୧⋆ ˚。⋆
@sukiischaotic
Marigolds - Often called “flowers of the dead”, are symbols of positive emotions, like joy and excitement. They also represent energy, good luck, warmth, creativity, prosperity, passion purity, divinity, and the connection between life and death. These flowers' fragrance is said to attract souls to the altar.
Cyclamen - symbolizes the eternal cycle of life, which makes it the perfect flower that means 'forever'. In Japan, cyclamen holds a special place as the holy flower of love, causing it to be a popular choice for Valentine's Day
Blackthorn - Fate, protection, hope against adversity, good fortune, strength, overcoming adversity, purification, and protection
Bluebell - Loyalty, constancy, humility, gratitude and everlasting love
Keep in mind that flower meanings may somewhat be different depending on what site you look at, so excuse me if anything in the meanings is wrong! (hopefully not)
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luvfy0dor · 1 year
Note
Henlo! I saw that requests for Fyodor are open! And I was wondering if you could write something about Fyodor as a parent if you’re comfortable with that. For some reason I can’t find enough of those and I really wanna see how you’d do it!
(Not as the reader’s parent btw, maybe having a child/children with the reader. But I just wanna see how you think he’d behave in that situation and how you think it would all go down)
"Come on, papa!" Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader 。˚♡₊
╰┈➤ Dad!Fyodor ༉‧₊˚✧
Description ; How Fyodor acts towards his child/children!
Warnings ; None
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A/N; IVE BEEN LOWKEY WAITING FOR THIS REQUEST BRO IM SO EXCITED OVER THIS YOU DONT EVEN GET IT ALSO P/T STANDS FOR PARENTAL TITLE BC IDK WHAT YALL WANNA BE CALLED YKYK AND D/N IS DAUGHTERS NAME OBVI
Headcannons !! ༊*·˚
→ Dad!Fyodor who lets his kid/s play with his hair, too, messing it up and laughing at their fathers disheveled appearance.
→ Dad!Fyodor who quietly reads your kids bed time stories, letting them sit on his lap while he holds the book in front of them, pointing to the pictures with a smile.
→ Dad!Fyodor who picks out the most whack ass outfits for your kid, proudly displaying it out to you and frowning at your hesitant smile.
→ Dad!Fyodor who discouraged your children from cutting their hair and braids it or puts it up for them every morning before school.
→ Dad!Fyodor who (very frequently) helps your kid/s with their homework or projects for school, not quite giving them answers but shoving nudging them in the right direction.
→ Dad!Fyodor who teaches his kid(s) the basics of playing the cello, letting them get a feel for the strings. He would teach them how to hold the bow and would let them stand beside him and watch him play.
→ Dad!Fyodor who cooks recipes that he learned in Russia for you and your children, encouraging all of you to try foreign dishes. They give him a feeling of nostalgia and wanting to pass those special foods on to his kid(s).
→ Dad!Fyodor who absolutely tries passing on happy group counseling hour to his kid/s when they seem sad or upset.
Scenarios !! ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
Your keys jingled in the keyhole of your front door as you pushed it open, revealing the living room that you had longed to sit down in all day. Work sucked, you weren't going to lie, but there was something that was allegedly important going on, so you had no choice but to attend.
Your husband volunteered to watch your daughter on her day off of school, which wasn't a totally uncommon occurrence due to Fyodors line of work. He didn't mind watching d/n, he likes it a lot, actually. Fyodor values the quality time he can spend with his kid just as much as the quality time he gets to spend with you.
The pitter patter of your daughters feet got louder the closer she got to the living room, rounding the corner and smiling. "P/t!"
"Hey, what'd I tell you about running?" You say with a quiet and amused giggle as she throws herself onto you, hugging your waist. You run your fingers over the pretty braids weaved into her hair with a smile. "Papa did your hair?" The little girl nods excitedly.
"Well, you look very, very pretty." Another set of footsteps can be heard, this time softer. Fyodor rounds the corner with a smile, pulling you into a hug.
"Mm, my dear." He says, resting his head on you shoulder for a moment before pulling away, starting back towards the kitchen. He waves at d/n to follow him. "Come on, sweetheart, come help me finish dinner." She excitedly runs after her father, earning a soft and faint giggle from him.
Upon following the two of them into the kitchen, you can smell the beef stroganoff cooking, watching your daughter step up onto the little stool she dragged in next to Fyodor. They stand at the counter, Fyodor making sure she's nowhere near anything dangerous or hot. He gently pushes over a measuring cup filled with beef broth.
"Alright, Malyshka. Just pour this into the pan, and be very careful, alright?" He says softly, his voice gentle as he measures out the whipping cream. The beef broth can be heard being poured into the pan from the spot you're standing in, smiling at your husband and daughter making dinner together. Within a couple of seconds, Fyodor is handing d/n measurements of other ingredients, such as Worcestershire sauce and dijon mustard. He lets her stir it all in, guiding her whenever he sees fit.
"Alright, we're all done. Here, why don't you go sit down, I'll bring you and P/t your dinners, yeah?" He smiles at the young girl, rubbing her back before patting it. She nods and skitters off to join you at the dinner table. She blabbers on to you about everything she did that day, even running off to bring proof of her activities.
She comes back out, proudly showing off a coloring page filled with scribbles in numerous different hues. One of them was only slightly better than the other, the lesser messy one was labeled with Fyodor's name in his sloppy handwriting to match the coloring. You grinned at both of them, taking the thin sheets of paper and studying them intently.
"Wow, they're both wonderful!" Your daughter wears a proud smile at the praise from you, excitedly placing her hands on her hips. "Are ya gonna hang them up on the fridge?" You nod and ruffle her hair a bit, just in time for Fyodor to bring the food in for all three of you. He sets the plates down on the table, listening to the conversation still taking place between you and your daughter.
"Ofcourse I will, I love them both very much." Your daughter smiles, blowing on the small piece of meat impaled by her fork. "Maybe me and papa can have a coloring contest, you can be the judge!" She says to you excitedly. Fyodor smiles. "How about another night, Malyshka? It's getting close to your bedtime." He says, continuing eating his food. "Aw, but papa-" she sadly whines, Fyodor shaking his head. "No 'but''s, d/n. We can tomorrow night though, I promise." Fyodor smiles at her while she extends her outstretched pinky to her dad.
"Pinky promise?" She quietly mumbles. He grins and interlocks his pinky with hers, reaching across the table to do so. "I promise. You know i never break my promises, Malyshka." She smiles and nods in agreement. "Yeah, right. Tomorrow night then!" She says with a grin.
"Tomorrow night. Alright, d/n, time to go get ready for bed. Go put on pajamas and we'll come say goodnight in five minutes." You say to the small girl with a smile. She nods in compliance and quickly walks back to her room to change into sleep clothing. You look over at Fyodor, who is already looking back at you with a loving gaze.
"Ah, I forgot to apologize for the late dinner earlier, dear. I was quite busy being dressed up in tiaras and what not." Your heart warms at the thought of your husband bonding with your daughter. "It's alright, don't worry about it." You gently caress his shoulders before taking all the plates away from the dining table, washing them in the kitchen and sticking them in the dishwasher. Placing your hands on your hips, you nod in approval of your quick work. Fyodor waits for you in the doorway, nodding in the direction of d/n's room with a gentle smile.
You both approach the room, knocking to make sure she was finished getting ready for bed before you both entered. You said goodnight to her and kissed her cheek while Fyodor said goodnight and kissed her forehead. Before Fyodor could stand straight up again, d/n giggled and whispered to him.
"I'm gonna beat you tomorrow, so prepare yourself, papa. It's gonna be the best coloring you've ever seen!" She proudly claims, clearly confident in her coloring skills. Fyodor chuckles. "I believe it whole heartedly. Get some sleep, or you may wake up without that skill." He says, making sure she's 100% tucked in. She nods in understanding and snuggles into her blanket.
"Goodnight, Malyshka." Fyodor whispers, gently pulling her door closed a bit, leaving a crack between the door and the frame.
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A/N (#2); I'm super sorry if any mistakes were made, I didn't proofread because I'm suuuuper tired lol, but I just wanna put it out there that I am absolutely willing to do more dad!Fyodor. Dad!Fyodor and soft!Fyodor literally give me life u don't even get it (recipe I referenced was from Natasha Kitchen)
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oracle-of-dream · 5 months
Note
I LOVEEEEE your writing sm especially the riize nct and enha ones (frankly cause i only write fics of them) THE SUNGCHAN ONE I LOVEEEE it and i also love the emha series i hope it doesnt get shelved <//3 BUT ALSO SWEETNESS i hope you inspire alot of writers cause istg the riize x male reader space is SO SMALL LIKE theres probably 3 and 1 just uses the tag cause a riize member is a second lead and even the enha x male reader its suddenly all dead apparently
if you dont mind also i love the sungchan x male reader fic you did i requested it help but i cant really relate to it cause a. my fem ass cant and b. will NEVER work out fuck weights so if you can you dont have to have smut where an insecure fem gay reader thinking sungchan might not be into him cause hes either het or into masc gays so his shock when he confessed he was into him you could decide anything else thank youuuuuu
An interesting request! I don't really think about if the male POV is providing a masc or fem vibe, more that they're male. I don't really describe physical characteristics for the male POV so they're a blank slate, but I think I'll give this a shot! I may... change things a little though. As for my other work, thank you so much for liking it! I want to continue the Enha work, but I added more to my plate so I need to catch up!
Unexpected
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PLEASE READ WARNINGS CLOSELY, TRIGGER WARNINGS
Summary: You've always tried to be closed off to the world around you, as hateful as it is. But one person seems to shine better than the rest, Sungchan is the only person who understands you.
Warnings: Male Reader, Attempted SA, Bullying, Homophobia, Forced undressing, Violence
Wordcount: 2.2k
Your forehead grew colder as you laid your head on the desk, looking out the window. Students laughed and talked all around you but you couldn't hear anyone. Birds in the sky, students coming to school, teachers giving lectures were all irrelevant to you when he was around... Sungchan, one of the more popular students in your class sat across the room from you. You'd known him since you were little but always kept your distance, never trying to enter his bubble.
Being openly gay put a target on your back, but you were happy not to have to hide that about yourself from anyone. The beatings were something to hide from. Most of the time you'd been picked on for being "girly", or talking funny, or some would beat you up for looking gay.
But not Sungchan. He always treated you so kindly. He'd offer his jacket, leave a snack on your desk between classes, and smile at you as you passed him in the hallway.
Your heart flew anytime you saw him. But you also knew he was just being nice. Because he's a nice person. Other than being nice, he was another straight guy who put up a front to look good in front of the girls who swooned over him. Even though you couldn't stop yourself from glancing at him, you couldn't risk your heart. You'd imagined it; asking Sungchan out and seeing the disgusted look on his face as he pushed you away, probably running off to tell everyone what you'd done.
"Y/n, you'll be partnered with Sungchan for the assignment. Now that everyone's been assigned a partner, I expect it to be done and ready to be turned in by tomorrow!" Your teacher's words snapped you out of your horrible daydream. You looked around to try and catch what you'd missed. A partner assignment, some sort of book report, and you had to be partnered with him–of all people.
You tried to pack your things quickly, maybe if you rushed out the door before he caught you–
"Y/n! We're partners!" Sungchan spoke to you cheerfully as he sat in the empty seat near you.
You lowered your head and looked at him. "Yes, seems so," You mumbled.
"We were assigned about LGBTQ rights for the book report."
You rolled your eyes. Of course, you have to report on LGBTQ rights. You sighed as you packed your things into your bag, ignoring Sungchan, and headed for the door.
He followed you closely. "So did you want to meet up somewhere? Like a cafe? Or even my place?"
Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of you, alone with Sungchan at his house. But you steeled your resolve. "You shouldn't stand so close to me, they might hate you too," You said as you walked a little faster to gain some distance.
Sungchan's long legs made it too easy to keep at your heels. "Hate me too? Someone hates you, who?"
You shrugged. "Every girl who sees me talking with you, and maybe almost every boy in the school."
"Why?"
"Don't be irritating."
"I'm not trying to be, I just want to understand!" Sungchan tried to step in front of you but you sidestepped him.
You looked over your shoulder at him. "Don't. You'll ruin things for yourself, and I'll get the worst of the hate."
Sungchan grabbed the back of your bag, pulling you to him as you tried to walk off. "At least give me your number to talk about the project. Then I'll let you go." Eyes started landing on you as Sungchan held you in place. You could hear them laughing, and teasing, and the sneers on their faces were like always. You quickly and softly told Sungchan your number, with just enough time to run before he could reply.
You ran out the school doors, around the corner, and down a few blocks. Your chest heaved to catch the air it lost, but you kept walking to put more distance between you and school. You were safer that way. Eventually, you felt calm enough to stop rushing and listened to music the rest of the way home. Music made school bearable–the whole world fell silent and moved at the pace of your songs.
Around the corner from your house, you felt a sharp tug on the back of your bag–strong enough to knock you off your feet. You hit the ground and turned to see boys from your school, they were playing basketball with Sungchan...
"Stay the hell away from Sungchan, Fag!" One shouted.
The others shouted similar comments as you tried to stay low, not looking up at them. It was better not to look at them.
You tried to crawl away but felt a sharp pain in your side as a foot collided with your side, making you crumple to the ground. The air knocked out of you as you tried not to spit up on the sidewalk.
"You think you can leave!? Gonna cry to Sungchan? Wait, what if he's turned Sungchan gay!?"
Your skin ran cold. You knew people who hated you for you, but you hated it when people hated others for who you were.
"He's not gay, he was just helping me," You groaned.
"Defending your boyfriend now? Sungchan must be gay like you–he'll even try to fuck us!" Another blow to your stomach as the boys started to crowd around you, dragging you into an alley. You were so close to home, to safety. But you could see your street getting smaller as they pulled you away, without the strength to fight back.
"W-What do we do now?" The boys chatted with each other about what to do with you now that they had you. You'd been tied up tightly with shoelaces and leaned against a wall while they huddled in a circle. "Well... We could–" The boys got quieter as they listened to the idea. Then their attention turned to you. Fear climbed up like a spider as two boys tried pulling off your pants.
"What the fuck!? Don't touch me!" You kicked at them but others joined in to restrain you.
Tears streamed down your face in fear and embarrassment as your pants were cast aside, leaving you in your underwear. The boys hesitated as they looked around, down the alley, and back at you. Your eyes were full of hate as you waited for their next move. One turned on their camera and started filming as two others slid down their pants. "Just open your mouth, gay boy. You've gone through this before, haven't you? If you want to be a girl so bad, then we'll make you one."
You squirmed and cried, your eyes closed. You were helpless as these guys were about to have their way with you, recording every second. You couldn't do anything but cry as your heart pleaded for someone. Anyone. Help!
"Hey! What the fuck are you doing to him!?"
Your eyes shot open to see Sungchan running down the alley at full speed. He jumped and kicked the closest guy, knocking him on the ground, and started punching his way to you. It wasn't long before they gave up and ran away, leaving you behind.
Sungchan chased the group a bit before turning back to you. He threw his jacket over your legs. "Are you okay? You hurt?"
You nod. "I'm fine," Your voice was weak and shaky.
Sungchan untied you and helped you to your feet. You couldn't help but feel mortified as you were half-naked in front of him, but you were grateful he saved you when he did.
"Thank you," You said softly. You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, it was too embarrassing, but you could feel his eyes scanning you.
"Is your house nearby? Or should we go to my house, it's close. I can run and get you pants."
You shook your head, "My house is around the corner."
Sungchan started unbuttoning his pants, making you panic and turn around. "What are you doing!?" You shouted.
"You can't walk around without pants."
"W-What about you!?"
"You can give them back when we get to your place."
You felt Sungchan's pants fall onto your shoulder, still warm from their owner. You went to uncover yourself but stopped. "Can you look away please?"
"Right!" Sungchan turned around as he waited for you to change.
Once you slipped on his pants, which were much larger than you expected and sagged around your waist, you hit his arm. "Let's go, you perv."
"How am I a perv!?"
You didn't respond as you led him to your house, cautious of any neighbors who may be watching. Thankfully your parents were out of town, so no one could've been home to see you bringing in a handsome half-naked man with you. Inside, you took Sungchan to your bedroom and let him sit on your bed as you changed into other clothes. You also gave him his pants back.
"Thank you again, for saving me," You say as you sit on the bed.
"It's not a problem. You needed help and my body just moved." Sungchan made a gesture like he was being pulled forward.
"You're not my neighbor, or even in my neighborhood, so how did I get so lucky to have you save me?"
Sungchan's face turned pinkish. "Well, we have the project and we needed to finish it. I asked if anyone knew where you lived and the teacher gave it to me," Sungchan played with his shirt while explaining.
"That's very illegal for the teacher to do. But since it saved me, I'll skip on suing. And you could've just called me!"
"I-I don't know! I just wanted to see you again and I felt like you would've told me where you lived if I'd asked."
Your heart skipped. Sungchan wanted to see you.
"And I'll make sure those guys never bother you again," Sungchan's expression darkened at the thought of the boys who'd jumped you. "I just don't understand why they'd do it."
You laughed wryly, "They thought I turned you gay and that you were my boyfriend. Saying we're both gay and that we'd turn all the other boys gay..."
"Why would they–"
"It doesn't matter. You don't see me like that, so I don't have a chance." You cut him off sharply, the pain in your chest was too much. Having to say out loud that you had no chance with Sungchan made your heart crumble.
"And if you did have a chance?" Sungchan scooted closer to you.
"What?"
"If you had a chance to ask me out. Would you?"
You blushed. "I-I don't know. Maybe!"
Sungchan leaned closer toward you. "Would I have a chance if I asked you out?"
Your heart raced, your palms sweaty, and your eyes could only see Sungchan's sweet face. "Um, maybe?"
"I'll try something, and if either of us don't like it then we can stop," Sungchan suggested, looking in your eyes for confirmation. You nodded slowly, allowing Sungchan to initiate a kiss. First a peck, then moving into a full-blown kiss. His hand found your waist as he pulled you closer to him, making you yelp which he used as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your hands gripped his shoulders as his tongue explored you, meeting your tongue, and earning excited twitches from you. When you separated, a single strand of spit connected you before it broke. "How do you feel?" Sungchan asked.
You nodded. "I liked it, a lot."
"Then, can we kiss more often? As boyfriends?"
You jumped to your feet on instinct. "But you're straight!"
He shrugged, "Bisexual if you need an argument."
"So you mean?"
Sungchan laughed. "I've been into you since we were kids. I never knew it was something more than feeling strongly about a friend. When we hit middle school, I realized I had a crush on you but you started distancing yourself from me. And by the time we hit high school, you treated me almost like a stranger... I thought I'd done something wrong."
"I was only avoiding you because I knew I was gay and had a crush on you!"
Sungchan kissed your lips. "Then we both learned something." You giggled as Sungchan attacked you with kisses, tackling you into the bed as he cuddled you. "I think I've been in love with you for a while, and being this close to you is making my body crazy..."
You tensed. "You mean like..." Sungchan nodded, his breathing heavy as his eyes focused on your lips. "We should take things a little slower, right?" You pushed Sungchan off you, as he whined.
"Of course, whatever you want, babe."
"B-Babe?!"
Sungchan smiled. "I need to call you a nickname now. I'll keep trying more until we find something you get attached to." You rolled your eyes, embarrassed. Sungchan picked up his backpack and pulled out his textbook. "Let's knock this report out, then we can cuddle."
The next day after Sungchan had gone home, your phone blew up with texts. He was constantly checking in with you, making sure you were alright. He even sent a text of the group of boys, kneeling in the principal's office as a punishment while they got yelled at.
Everything seemed brighter and better with Sungchan. And he loved to show you off, holding your hands in the halls to tell everyone about the unexpected change. No one dared to speak out against Sungchan, so you spent more time at school learning rather than running...
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lifes-line · 6 days
Text
DEFO DEFO TAZ SPOILERS
So one of my favorite taz aus is what I call "the replacement au" or the "Lup Au" which is basically what if it was Taako who died or went missing and it was Magnus, Merle, and Lup working for the BOB
In which case that poses a lot of questions for each arc so lemme tell you my theories on how it would've gone
Here they be gerblins:
Lup has always had a horrible ache in her heart. She wouldn't call it depression but no matters how hard she tries to move on and forget. She has always felt something painful and missing in her heart. Like someone ripped out a huge half of it and left her with the rest. She's had this feeling all her lonely life as a single child and no matter what magic she used on herself or how many people she surrounded herself with... she couldn't escape that feeling... Magnus and Merle somehow helped though. Being the absolute dumbasses they are.
Lup finds herself flirting with barry blue jeans and disappointed he wont be joining them later-
Lup sees Taako's skeleton/corpse and takes the wizard hat and his glave(or whatever his magical weapon he made during their year of artificing was)
She feels drawn to the phoenix fire gauntlet and she teases about putting it on alot(before phandalin goes to shit), she also gives it a high five but she isnt dumb enough to put it on and understands how dangerous it is and how devestating the events that follow are
Lunar interlude one
Lucretia is baffled to see lup having taako's things on but thats not important
im gonna say Lup gets pretty similar things to taako since they are the same class(just different schools of magic)
She doesn't fuck with leon as much as taako does but she still does of course
Murder on the rock port limited:
They get on the train without charm person but of course theyre still "not who they appear to be" as merle keeps loudly insisting they kill the ticket guy
Lup respects angus but they dont get close as he does with Taako so instead Angus gets closer with Magnus though Lup does offer to teach angus some magic lessons
Smokes that crab
Pretty much all of the taako things except she might be a lil less dramatic about the drink cart
Petals to the metal
Lup and hurley are bffs dont even trip
Lup defo found Sloane attractive but backed off when she found out she was taken
also found captain captain bane attractive
a quip of "My type are hardcore nerds with those obnoxious spectacles and sexy science facts"
Lup either picks a mongoose mask or goes with a phoenix I imagine
She would threaten the guards to get into the hammerhead base at first but then switch up to help out Merle's plan - or she'd just straight up kill the last guy and hit em with the "I forgot about that"
Since theres no way to absorb the arcane core she makes it explode and it works just as well
You can assume she has taakos position in the car ride, but most likely she cannot summon Garyl and instead klaarg comes in and saves merle and later her
Red robe shows up and shes the only one who fucking remembers the director telling them about them and she is the only one to insist they dont listen to him
but they do anyway and she gets majorly suspicious
Small lunar interlude:
Fuck Lucas but not fuck him but yknow
Oh yeah the red robe? "I want to let you know I am the only one who actually remembered we should've bounced"
Crystal Kingdom
Oooh transmutation relic not her thing
She cooks tho
Lucretia? "That's such a cute ass name, I'm gonna start calling you Lucy"
can i also have a red suit
that pink thing looks like salt
Also in consensus Lucas in fact a huge asshole.
Actually answers buddy bots question/riddles within the first two minutes
Yeah ill go into the elevator world? Oh no cockroaches? Yeah Lup makes fun of merle for liking cockroaches and then kills the one he missed.
They meet N03ll3 which is great and all but what do you mean you keep picking up lich activity
Go into Lucas's room cause Lup disguises self
Ok I dont know what a lich is why do you keep harassing me
Merle loses an arm oh fuck
Also gonna kill Lucas
fine lets learn some science
oh its that red bitch again - Lup is only not running because her boys wanna hear this too and also this lich is like weirdly flirting with her
"It's... Lup, where did you get that hat?" "Oh this? I took it off of some skeleton on our first adventure." "... oh my god.. you.. you found him... you..."
Weird I just made this lich who was flirting with me upset about my dope ass hat
YEAH SHES BEEN WEARING TAAKOS WIZARD HAT THIS WHOLE ASS TIME
skipping a bit woah oil can time
woah the crystal guy is back and instead of merle being the most dangerous its Luuuuuup? Whyyyyy????
"Wait haven't I seen you before?" He asks Lup and she tilts her head. The crystal shakes his head. "Nevermind. one second-"
Guys hes calling me a lich or possessed by one what do I do
Kick ass, Not tentacling dick ew, lucas there you are - woah magnus
Oh its the grim reaper, No we are not being shipped together-
Lore
"And you, Lup. Are still dead." "... Sorry what-" "You're dead?" "Nah I still got my hit points, I mean I'm bruised and bloody but I'm still alive." "Yeah is this maybe another Lup... or...?" "No. She's a lich. She is an undead entity that must be locked away in the eternal stockade." "How about fuck that (tries to kick his ass)"
More lore
YoU ATE THE WHAT
Oh hi kravitz, can you look pass this posession if I promise to have someone free me? And if this lich leaves me so im not a vessel anymore you can come get it, trust "... I.. I cannot let a lich get out of my sight." "Bro I cannot fight you anymore." "Well, it would be more dangerous if you died but you refuse to come peacefully." "I dont think Im a lich I just think im posessed - we've done a lot of crazy shit in our adventures-" bla bla bla fine its settled
We'll debrief in a sec ig here lemme uhh. i dont have transmutation its so over , just shape the damn stone and idk someone else can do magic right?
Debriefing oh yeah the red robe was there, yeah i lowkey dont really trust you, ok fine i can settle
They dont talk about the deaths to lucy in canon but after the debriefing Lup gathers the boys up and talks to them "Hey so you know how he called me an undead evil lich. so like... lets not tell the director and merle can you like perform an exorcism or something just to see if its true?" "Uh I have detective good and evil?" "Dope." And NOTHING HAPPENS BECAUSE LUP ISNT EVIL- but merle does detect some necromantic energy radiating off her whole being but he doesnt have like a spell to fix her so theyre like lets not worry about it rn
Lunar interlude
Alright angus this is magic, cooking? Why the fuck would i teach you how to cook
Ok you got me i grew up by myself in a lonesome life as a vendor but i didnt cook or anything I just spent my whole life doing side jobs and saving people. yeah fire is my speciality but like i wouldnt recommend it for you cause its literally fire. and youre a kid.
Whered I get the glave? A skeleton from a cave. He was wearing a red robe so lowkey maybe im possessed by his spirit but like... doubt.
Eleventh hour
I believe in you ango
woah we're here
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FIGHTING THE WORMS LEAVE THEM ALONE THEYRE JUST BABIES
alright lets get this bread - bye avi - hello clay perosn. roswell? ok Wow that statue sure is red what the fuck
"This is bad.. this is a bad thing i did." Yeah I kept it.
Hi Cassidy im sure we can be besties
woah earthquake
Lets go in the inn, oh hello pretty elf lady, ok she doesnt care about me wdym you know magnus - guys wait dont make me talk to her alone
"Why do you live in a bubble?" "Lup." "WHAT?"
I wanna meet paloma fuck you guys
I will go to town on these scones, you need gold can I trade you anything else
I can hardly remember these goddamn loops so lets assume that lup and taako do alot of the same shit except she doesnt steal any of this shit -
Put him in a bubble... ok-
Hi Istus, What's this? Not a bag of holding? "This item... has the ability to bring back anyone from the dead, as long as they have been deceased for at least over a decade." "Oh this could be useful for all the guys you killed!" "Yeah!" "Well... you could save it too but... yes I suppose so?" "But only for over a decade." "Why the fuck is that so specific?" "STOP SWEARING IN FRONT OF CHRISTMAS" "ITS ISTUS"
Ok get that cup
Fuck you issak
WOAH ITS THE CUP BACKSTORY TIME; Besides the long periods of static and weirdly fuzzy childhood, Lup's biggest regret in her life? Well she didn't have anything really. She didn't put any of her skills to good use.. except once. She was performing her evocation magic for money and it got out of hand. She seriously injured an innocent person that resulted in their death. "Lup... that is your biggest regret. But it hasn't happened yet. If you claim me, we can go back and save that life. They would have never died. We can go back and save them."
thats the best i can do
Lup probably takes the longest to think this over because she cant handle the fact she murdered an innocent but Magnus's speak of "Tell me what happens if we dont do this" convinces her to stay
DONT KILL THE WORM YOU BITCHES, LISTEN TO JUNE
FREEDOM
Oh fuck its that red robe again - no we dont fucking trust you
"You don't... You don't trust me...?" He looks to Lup, and floats down to her level. Despite his occasional flattery and softness when he speaks to her, lowering himself and looking her in the eye pulls at something invisible in her heart. Something she hasn't felt in forever. "Lup...? You don't trust me?" "I don't even know you." The red robe whispers some more things and electricity flies off of him as he vanishes.
Hi Paloma oh a vision? "In your hour of greatest need, you will receive help from the forgotten one."
Ok back home - oh fuck IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER?
Lets fight? OK!
Lunar interlude
Date at the chug n squeeze? Wrong. Battle of the century. Almost.
Lup v Kravitz the two face off with Kravitz just trying to knock Lup out so he can safely transfer her into the astral plane without her dying
Lup, who doesnt think shes a lich, is just trying not to die.
They dont do this on the moon, they do this in neverwinter
IS THAT THE FUCKING RED ROBE?
As he saves you. As you're down you feel something phase through you as a red robe walks through your body and presents itself in front of Kravitz. He emits that same electricity off of his body and Kravitz looks baffled but only rifts a hole into the astral plane. "You're coming with me." As the battle is only beginning the red robe whispers to you, Lup; "Run."
PURCHASES THE RAGING FLAMING POISONING SWORD OF DOOM
Suffering game
Hey lucy, oh youre not fifty? Oh thats lowkey kind of fucked "Luckily as an elf i dont think i have to worry about that... sorry-"
Maggy where the fuck are you going
I feel like Lup would either follow magnus or magnus would defo ask Lup to help break out robi, so she does.
MAGNUS YOU FUCKING KILLED THEM-
Oh fuck get me out of here fighting these monsters
Lord artemis sterling and his bodyguards... cool.. ok
nvm lydia is hot
Ok this sucks
Lup gets the same sacrifices as Taako, so she takes the bad luck, shes fine with losing some life, hands? No Im not giving you my hand, fuck. MY APPEARENCE...? Yeah i dont care.
Chooses trust instead of forsake.
"Why should this person chose you?" "Uhh... Cause I'm hot as fuck." *applauds*
SAVES MAGNUS OFC - Oh is that the grim reaper? So Lup actually does try to save Kravitz cause lowkey she wants to be on good terms with him
Is that the red robe-
WE'RE TRUSTING HIM NOW????
her ghost looks ... weird.
Its nearly impossible to kill Edward, except when he's a lich. So. That's actually when Lup gets an idea. And she dies. Like full on explodes herself.
LICH LUP WOOOOOO
As soon as Lup is free from her body, her very very death and actually burning corpse. Everything hits her very slowly and soon all at once. So instead of killing edward immediately Lup instantly panics and starts to lose her cool... until "Lup?" She hears Barry's voice. It's not her anchor but it's enough to remind her of the situation at hand.
Lup destroys edward, so lydia destroys magnus's body
As Magnus sees Lup's liches form he isn't surprised, because he remembers when Lup sat down and told them all(?) about her and ... somebody's decision to become a lich... WAIT WHAT
Lup demands more answers from Barry and Magnus does the same, Barry is more sweet about it to Lup than Magnus
Merle is looking at Lup and Barry with upmost confusion and WHAT IS GOING ON????
To Barry's cave! Hey why is there two pods here
"So... I'm really glad actually, Lup, that you're here. And you're back... and as much as i wanna stop the end of the world to kiss you... We gotta move. We both saved what we could from our corporeal forms - mine is a bit more fresh but yours is back from the [starblaster]... so ... I actually don't know what you'll remember but youre gonna need it if we wanna get back on that moon base and confront Lucretia."
Merle can't hear anything and he is so confused, Magnus can understand this all and contiens demanding answers- before they both enter the tank, Magnus gets Lup's outfit while Merle pulls out deniem blue jeans AND WAIT BARRY AS IN BARRY BLUE JEANS?? beFORE THEY DO THIS
Lup looks to Barry and asks where Taako is. The name sounds familiar to Magnus, but his head is splitting in two before he can remember such a person. Barry can't bring himself to reply so he simply tells Lup he isn't sure but he doesn't have high hopes.
As they both go into their own tanks, Barry doesnt know anybody or anything. Lup steps out and she throws on her outfit and demands answers from magnus and merle of what happened after she died. "Am I a lich? Am I posessed? IS THAT BARRY?" And why is barry still so goddamn attractive?
Barry looks at Lup like shes the love of his life and actually starts being timid and nervous around her
Magnus tries explaining but once its all static the idea of another void fish comes to mind... PLANNING
BACK TO THE MOON BASE
heres the relic, magnus is dead, fuck you.
Oh hi angus, the truth? uhhhh i guess we can tell you oh is that zone of truth. dammit barry-
SECOND VOID FISH?
Oh my god........ my brother is dead. Taako is dead.
Hi Lucy, "I'm gonna fucking kill you now." But Barry holds Lup back as her fire wall is pathetic against her shield.
"I'm so sorry Lup but.. the pain was too unbearable. Taako.. Taako is gone. And he's not coming back."
Story and Song
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT-
As all hope seems lost after Lup remembers the other half of her heart, Barry and Lup are refusing to die because they cant be liches forever. They dont have anything to go back to-
She remembers Paloma's prophecy, and Istus's gift. It's a simple ritual - a simple spell and only thinking of her brother she casts it. And Lup almost loses it again when nothing happens.
It takes too much but Lucretia is the one who channels a spell to crush these beats in their own shield before she vanishes. ANd now we gotta do other shit yay
Lup and Barry and sent to find the ship but she can't bring herself to do so... "I... I know we're supposed to save the world and everything Barry but... but what's the point... without Taako here with us?"
Barry does what he can to comfort his fiance before he notices the sphere of black glass. "Listen.. do you remember in lucas's lab when we was going over everything?" "Ye.. yeah?" Barry takes a breath to elaborate but Lup cuts him off. "Barry you know transumtation isn't my school of magic." "I know but..." He points to the glave she's holding. "It's his."
And with that they feather fall down and give it a try.
While Barry begins to fight for his life - with the help of Lucas who joins them, Lup continuously tries and fails to open this portal. She slams her head against her own creation and curses Taako for not being here. How is she supposed to go on when Taako is gone? And she didn't even get to grieve? Or say goodbye? And why did Istus lie to her?
And then a rift in space opens. And there he is. Taako appears in his red robe without his hat or his weapon. Lup feels a hand on her shoulder suddenly as she hears her brother's voice say "Don't worry Lulu, I have magical powers." And when he touches his weapon to the sphere it's like an explosion goes off.
"Taako! Where'd you open that portal to?!" "The Astral Plane."
When Lup sees Kravitz (and he looks fucking awful.) behind him she suddenly flips out; "ARE YOU DATING THE GRIM REAPER?" "SHUT UP"
But it doesn't last long before Lup embraces Taako tightly.
TAAKO ONLY CAME BACK BECAUSE MEREL RECONNECTED WITH THE GODS BTW SO ISTUS COULDNT HOLD UP HER END OF THE DEAL UNTIL SHE WAS BACK-
OK SHIP TIME WE GET TOGETHER EVERYONE IS PISSED AT LUCRETIA BUT as theyre discussing the science behind it she suddenly offers, looking at the tres horny boys briefly that there is a third option. Thanks Paloma.
Taako stays on the plane to fight while Lup, sure she wont lose him again, kicks the hungers ass.
Epilogue, everything is pretty much the same because lup doesnt wanna run a school for magic and now that taako was apparently routing for lup in the astral plane the whole time shes off the hook
THE END YAYAYAYA
EDIT I KNOW I HAVE MORE WOOHOO:
Why does Taako die? Why does he care?
Well, Taako knew he couldn't just rely on a dance to cheer up Lup - so Taako decided he was going to do something good and destroy his sister's relic. Obviously he can resist the temptation but Cyrus Rockseeker does not. Taako blasts him with his glave(or clave or whatever) into the safe but ultimately dies.
We then we Taako wake up in the astral plane, behind the bars of the eternal stockade where a skeleton stands before him checking off a list. He says something in a cockney accent along the lines of "Finally, I've been lookin' for you."
"Crazy accent you go there Ghostrider, where am I?" "You're in the Astral Plane, Taako. Finally. You wouldn't happen to know where your others friends are? They're supposed to be locked up in here with you."
"... What-"
AND OVER THE TIME TAAKO SUCCESSFULLY FLIRTS AND SEDUCES KRAVITZ ESP POST CRYSTAL KINGDOM ARC AND THATS WHY THEYRE DATING NOW OK COOL-
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sehnsuchts-trunken · 2 years
Text
Same Old Truck
Jake Seresin x fem!reader  7k words (yeah i know)
summary: It’s been fifteen years since you last saw Jake Seresin. Back then, you were head over heels in love with him. Now you aren’t much better off. The only question: If it ended back then, how can you be sure it’ll last now?
a/n: still no clue about the us military. i googled it all and as we know google is inaccurate as shit so dont mind that  also that’s one of my favourite jake gifs so.... yeah. 
top gun masterlist
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Usually on a Friday night, you would be sitting at home with a nice cup of tea, watching TV. Sometimes, you would be out with friends, drinking and dancing. Today, you were back at your old high school’s gym in a summer dress, champagne in one hand and phone in the purse at your side, chatting to people you hadn’t seen since graduation.
Everyone had come back today. All of the guys you had spent years next to in class, laughing with over lunch in the cafeteria, gossiping with, studying with, crying with. There were so many memories here, good ones as well as bad ones, and you’d dabbed at your cheeks more times already than you wanted to admit. But who could blame you? So many stories were being told again, half of which you’d forgotten over the years, and new ones as well - these of careers and weddings and kids. It was unbelievable how much and how fast everybody had grown up.  
Yet as happy as you were to be here, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread too, couldn’t help the gnawing in your stomach, the nerves bubbling up, the voices in your head that had been arguing for days now - Will he come? He’s far away after all. Do you even want him to come?
And after an hour of being here, an hour of not having seen him once, you were beginning to think that all that hope, all that dread, all that nervous anticipation had been for nothing in the end - he hadn’t come. You scolded yourself for the bitter taste that thought left in your mouth. You tried to wash it down with champagne. When that didn’t work, you excused yourself from the group you’d been catching up with to find something stronger. 
And, of course, just as you had lost hope, just as you decided fuck him, let’s get drunk, just as you turned around to walk to the bar, there he was, in all his glory, standing in the doorway with a killer grin, shirt with the top buttons undone, hands stuffed lazily in the pockets of his jeans, and as you felt yourself stiffen at nothing but the sight of him, you realised that even fifteen years later you were no better off than you had been in senior year in high school. 
Well, shit. 
A chorus of cheers went through the crowd when he stepped in, like he was some superstar, some hero. Of course. Obviously you weren’t the only one still stuck on high school impressions. 
Jake Seresin made it all of two steps into the gym before he was surrounded, shaking hands and greeting people and offering everyone a charming smile. You stood, dumbfounded, frozen in your spot - how you’d hoped he’d come. How you’d begged he wouldn’t. How you’d prayed he’d show up. How you’d pleaded he’d stay far, far away. 
His eyes met yours and you could feel your knees going weak at once. Goddamn, you had to get yourself together. You were a grown ass woman, an adult with her own successful career, her own apartment, her own cat, her own fucking life, not a teenage girl anymore wooed simply by the attention of the popular guy. 
At least that was what you told yourself as you tore your eyes away and forced yourself to turn around and walk up to the bar to pour a whiskey, ignoring your shaking hands as best as you could. One of the advantages of being an adult, of course, was this: There was alcohol at the prom now. No more forbidden bottles of wine and beer stolen from parents’ cabinets to sip after midnight, when the gym had closed and the teachers were going home and you were perched on the back of Jake’s truck with the rest of your friends in your dresses and suits. 
“He still looks at you like that.” 
You almost jumped out of your own skin at your old friend’s voice. You’d lost contact years ago - sad, really, because you’d always loved her. You remembered her in your bedroom, rummaging through your closet like it was hers, flitting about with the makeup she’d brought from home to help you get ready for your first date. You could remember her sleeping over any chance she got, you could remember staying at her’s every Saturday, you could remember dinner with her parents and torturing her little brother and staring in awe when she had got her first laptop. You’d been through thick and thin with her. 
“Jesus, don’t scare me like that”, you said, pushing the well of emotions down as far as you could. You were here to enjoy a night of catching up, not cry every time someone talked to you. She raised an eyebrow. 
“You still look at him like that too.” 
“Look at who like what?”, you asked, your fingers skimming the rim of your glass. You weren’t dumb - she was talking about him, of course, about Jake, about the way you’d frozen in place when you’d seen him. You had been hoping it hadn’t been as obvious, but it seemed it had been (despite your prayers). 
“You should go talk to him”, she said, brushing over your question completely. You bit your lip and looked down. 
“It’s been fifteen years”, you said softly. “I don’t know what I’d even say.” 
“It’s been fifteen years for everyone”, she countered. “And let me just remind you that reading people’s body language is part of my job. You very obviously want to talk to him.” 
Right - you’d forgotten she’d studied psychology. 
“I...” You took a deep breath and glanced up at her. “I’m not saying I don’t want to talk to him. I’m just saying... I don’t know what I’d tell him. And I don’t know if he even wants to talk to me.”
She snorted at that. 
“Are you kidding me? He’s been eyeing you from over there since he got here, he definitely wants to talk to you. He probably would’ve already if he wasn’t being cornered by literally half the people here at once.” She rolled her eyes. “Of course he’s still just as popular.”
You couldn’t help but grin. You knew very well that she loved him - at least that she had back then - and that she was feigning the annoyance just like she always had. They’d got in so much trouble together, pranked each other to the point where they’d both ended up in the ER, and you were surprised that they’d lost contact, though you knew yourself just how easily that happened. Time really did sneak up on you in life. You’d be surrounded by friends one day and when you looked back the day after that, years would have passed and they would all be off in some faraway corners of the world without you. 
Your eyes started filling with tears for the millionth time today. You tried to blink them away, but she noticed before you could. 
“Oh god”, she said, putting a hand to your arm, “Don’t cry or I’ll cry too.” 
“Sorry”, you laughed, in an attempt to get your mood back up. “It’s just- Sometimes I just wish we could go back. I didn’t even realise how much I missed you all. Promise me we’ll stay in touch after this, please? I don’t want to lose you again.” 
You could see the tears in her eyes when she sniffled and hugged you, throwing her arms around you with a fevor that nearly knocked you back. 
“Promise! And you promise to come to my wedding.”
You laughed as you held her close. “Definitely.” 
When she pulled away again, you had to dab at your eyes, but she wasn’t looking at you - she was looking at something behind you, the corners of her lips tugging upwards, and the twinkle in her expression reminded you of the way she’d always looked at Jake the second before tackling him.
Jake, you thought, and immediately your body reacted (to the mere thought of him, no less), a cold shiver running down your spine, your jaw clenching, your knees going weak. She winked at you. You had half a mind not to turn around. 
“Loverboy heading your way”, she muttered. She was already backing away when you came to your senses. 
“Don’t you want to, you know, catch up too?” 
Maybe it would be less weird if she stayed. Maybe you’d be less affected. Maybe... Or maybe not. But she wasn’t about to let you figure that out. 
“I’ve got his number saved”, she shrugged. “You just relax and enjoy it.” 
Relax and enjoy it, sure, sure, because that was so easy. Because you hadn’t spent the last fifteen years drinking up every tidbit of information about him that had somehow crossed your path. Which hadn’t been much anyway. He’d become a naval aviator, just like he’d always wanted. He’d been travelling all over the US. He’d come for the holidays whenever he’d been able to. That was that. So basically, you knew nothing. Nothing at all. 
You didn’t know if he was still the same Jake you’d dated back then. You had no clue if perhaps he was an entirely different person now. 
But you would have to find out. You would have to jump in at the deep end, because you were standing all alone at the bar with Jake coming up behind you. Your fingers swiped over your glass. You didn’t want to turn around. Yet everything inside of you was screaming at you to do it, just to look at him, just to know if this was the same guy that you’d been head-over-heels in love with in high school. 
He tapped your shoulder. You could smell his aftershave. Your hand wrapped around your glass as you took one last, deep breath and turned to him.
He’d grown. He was taller than you by a head now. His shoulders were broader. His hair was shorter. His hands were bigger, gripping the neck of a bottle of beer. His fingers were longer. You were certain that he was hiding a set of well-defined abs beneath his shirt.
But his face was still shaven - you remembered him doing it with your pink razor in your bathroom one Monday morning before school, when he hadn’t had the time the day before - and his eyes were still the same shade of greenish grey that you’d never quite managed to figure out. 
You had to smile involuntarily. 
“If it isn’t the prom king in all his glory”, you grinned, hiding your nerves under an all too familiar facade of teasing and flirting. “Just had to make a late, dramatic entrance, did you?” 
He grinned as well, resting his elbow on the bar top, his aftershave fully clogging up your senses. 
“Well, if it ain’t the prom queen”, he drawled. He paused to look at you. Really look at you, from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, and usually you’d think you would feel embarrassed or shy, but Jake had looked at you so many times before that all you felt was a sense of familiarity. You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t. The last time you’d seen him, he’d been eighteen years old. But you did nevertheless.
“You look stunning”, he said after a moment. You couldn’t help the heat spreading through your body like molten gold. 
“You don’t look too bad yourself”, you smiled - the understatement of the century. 
Jake Seresin had always looked just a bit too handsome for his own good. It had got him in and out of trouble often enough. But, well, back then he’d been a teenager, hardly an adult. Now he was grown up. He was wider and broader and older and if anything, he’d become even more handsome, even more attractive over the years: he’d got tan and obviously he’d been working out. His job seemed to be doing good for him. 
You couldn’t believe that after all these years, you were standing in front of him again. Looking at a man living his dream, not a boy just dreaming it anymore. He’d been extraordinary back then - now he was nothing short of impressive. 
You didn’t know how long you’d been staring at each other. It could’ve been anything from a few seconds to a few minutes. You didn’t mind. You didn’t think you’d have minded a few hours either. Compared to fifteen years, that was nothing.  
“I got off the plane two hours ago”, he explained eventually. “Hence the dramatic entrance.” 
You raised your eyebrows. 
“You got here today?”, you asked. 
“Two hours ago”, he repeated with a grin. 
“Shit”, you laughed. “What’d you do, miss the first three flights?” 
“Had to work ‘till five.” 
“Five?” You slipped your phone out of your pocket to take a look at the time. “It’s ten. How’d you get here in five hours?” 
His grin widened. 
“Kind of my job to be good with planes.” 
So he was still as cheeky as he’d been back then. And his accent had hardly changed - you’d dreaded hearing him with something like a Brooklyn one. God knows where he’d spent his time. 
But no. He was still your Jake. Your Jake from back then. Jake who’d taken you on an hour-long drive in his car just to go stargazing on a random Thursday night, Jake who’d climbed in through your window when there’d been no reason to, Jake who’d left you his cowboy hat even though it was his most prized possession. Jake. 
“Is it your job to get off the plane looking flawless too?”, you asked, heartbeat quickening. You’d never had inhibitions when it came to complimenting him. Sometimes you’d thought you shouldn’t fuel his ego further - though in the end you’d always decided he deserved it. Your friends had been so annoyed with you, but you’d never minded. You’d never minded his arrogant grins or that over-confident twinkle in his eyes. Maybe because you knew that despite it all, he was a big sweetheart, or maybe because it was all just so very justified. Because he was that talented, because he was that charming, because he was that attractive. So why, good lord, why should he not have known it? 
“You know I always look flawless”, he chuckled. 
“Ah, yes”, you said. “Of course. Always have, always will.” 
He paused for a moment. Then he said, “Much like you.” 
Your grin widened. He’d never seemed to have a problem complimenting you, either. God - he was here, he was real. After fifteen long years, you were finally seeing him again. And apart from a few differences, it was like he’d never left. 
“I missed you”, you whispered with a smile still on your lips. You didn’t leave him time to respond, too afraid that his answer might not be one you wanted to hear, that he might not have thought about you at all. Which you really couldn’t have held against him - it’d been so long you wouldn’t even have been surprised. “Now tell me what you’ve been up to. I want to know everything. If you did become the best pilot the navy’s ever seen, if you did visit every state. If your dream turned out just as good as you wanted it to.”
He did tell you. He told you about the academy, about the planes, about the places he’d been stationed at. (”That’s classified”, he chuckled when you asked him why he was stationed in San Diego now. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”) He told you about the people he worked with, about what a callsign was, about being one of the only ones on active duty who’d shot down enemy planes. But more importantly than that, he told you about what it felt like to fly. About the freedom of being up in the air, about being responsible for only him and his own plane, about power and liberty and about feeling like he belonged. 
You had to bite your lip to keep from getting too emotional again. He’d lost none of the charm of the young boy dreaming about all this, about planes, about flying, about how one day he’d be up there himself. He’d promised you - lying on the roof of his car, wrapped up in his arms, staring at the darkening sky and pointing out contrails - He’d promised you that one day he’d do it. You had made him swear he wouldn’t stop at anything to get there. 
“You seem happy”, you said when he’d finished, a genuine smile on your lips. He did seem happy. And you were happy for him. 
“I am”, he agreed. He looked at you again, looked you in the eyes with an easy grin, voice turning all serious. “Just sometimes think I could be happier.” 
You felt the intensity of his eyes stronger, then. Heat rushed to your cheeks. You grabbed your glass more tightly. 
“Happier how?”, you asked, a bit breathless, because you thought you knew the answer. But you wanted to hear him say it. Hear him admit that he’d not forgotten about you. That he’d remembered the little girl from school throughout the years. That maybe after the great love story of your lives had turned into just another high school romance, you hadn’t been the only one to stop and ask yourself if maybe it really had been the love of your life, if maybe you had blown your chance of ever finding love like that again. 
You’d cursed him so often. After dates, after breakups, after watching rom-coms on your couch with your cat curled up in your lap and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream perched on your leg. Cursed him for ruining men for you so early on, for setting your standards too high, for going away back then, for never really coming back. 
Jake reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone. He put it in front of you. You frowned. 
“Take off the case”, he urged. Your curiosity won, so you let go off your glass to peel off his phone case - plain black, but you hadn’t expected anything else. A piece of paper came free. You looked up at him with raised eyebrows. When he nodded, you glanced back, dropping the case onto the bar top to unfold the paper. It was barely bigger than your hand and even though it looked torn at the edges, it must have been folded carefully after every time it had been looked at. 
You recognised your own scrawly handwriting the very moment you glanced at it, gasping up at Jake, who only grinned. 
This is your guardian angel, you’d written, in the middle of maths class one fateful day close to graduation, here to tell you to pay attention. You won’t be a very good pilot at all if you can’t concentrate on what you’re doing because you’re staring at me. 
So you’ll be up in the air with me?, he’d scrawled below that. 
Always, you’d scribbled. Even if you can’t see me. 
You could remember that day well, mainly because that morning he’d been accepted into USNPS, the first step on his way to chasing his dream. He’d pulled up to your house and you’d already been closing the door, but unlike usual he hadn’t stayed in his car, instead he’d come sprinting at you with the biggest grin and you’d already known what had happened just by looking at him, so you’d run at him at full speed, abandoning your schoolbag and jumping up into his arms, drawing him in and kissing the grin right off of his face. 
“You kept that?”, you asked with a laugh. 
“Of course”, he said. “I took it up with me the first time and came back in one piece. Haven’t flown a single time without it.” 
Your teeth dug into your bottom lip. If you weren’t careful, you’d fall back into your old habit and keep at it until you drew blood, but... 
“So a piece of me has been up in the air with you every time”, you realised. 
“I couldn’t leave behind my guardian angel now, could I?” 
You felt a hot tear running down your cheek that you did your best to wipe away without letting him see. He’d not only kept one of your notes all these years (and you’d written each other a ton of those), he’d used it as a lucky charm - Jake, who’d never been religious, much less superstitious. He’d kept it, he’d kept it close to him for fifteen years, he’d taken it up in the air with him every single time. He’d made you a part of his dream even after you’d let him go. 
“I actually did write you a letter, you know”, you admitted, quietly, almost whispering. “I did even before they’d accepted you. I wanted to give it to you the day I had to kiss you goodbye at the airport. It said... it said that I had always known you’d do it and that I was sure you’d become the best of them all. That I was always right anyway so you could trust me. That I would always be there for you, no matter how far away you went. And that I’d... that I’d be there even when you were up in the air. I folded it so it’d fit in a pocket. So that you could carry it like a lucky charm even though I knew you didn’t believe in them.” 
He was smiling when you found the strength to look at him again. 
“Why didn’t you give it to me?”, he asked and for just a moment you thought you heard a kind of sadness in his tone. You shrugged. 
“We’d broken up. I didn’t want to make it harder for either of us.” 
He paused. You didn’t look away this time. The paper still between your fingers, a chorus of ‘He never forgot’ in your mind. 
“But you still came to say goodbye at the airport.” 
You took a deep breath. Yes - you had driven to the airport that day, had sprinted to the gate you’d known he was supposed to be at and tackled him just before he could go through security. That was the last time you’d seen him - waving at you as you sobbed, a smile on his lips that you knew he was only putting on to seem strong for you, before he disappeared into the gate and you realised just who you’d lost. 
“I couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye”, you admitted. “I had to see you one last time.” 
He raised his eyebrows. 
“And that didn’t make it harder?” 
“Only a bit”, you chuckled, pretending there weren’t tears dropping off your chin. “But it would’ve been worse if I’d had to live with the knowledge that I never got to properly say goodbye. I thought I’d never get to see you again. I mean, we all knew that you’d be successful and that you wouldn’t come back. What’s a little town in the middle of Texas got to offer a multi-million-dollar plane-flying naval aviator such as yourself?” 
You glanced from him back down to the paper in your hands, your own handwriting, and folded it carefully again. You couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, not while you were living through the memories of two beautiful years and one horrible one to get over them. Maybe all this was pathetic - you’d thought so a lot of times before. Maybe it was pathetic that you were clinging on to a boy from high school, to someone you hadn’t seen in fifteen years, to someone you knew - and had always known - you simply did not have a future with. But every time you met someone else, every time you considered the possibility of settling down, of marriage and growing old, you had to think back and compare and god, Jake Seresin really had ruined your love life so very early on. He’d ruined dating for you once and for all. Your miserable attempts at hookups and boyfriends had always ended the same: with you waving goodbye because none of it felt good enough to be called love. None of it came close enough to him. 
Jake hooked his fingers under your chin and turned your face to his, his thumb brushing over your skin to wipe away your tears. You bit your lip, the weight of his eyes on yours enough to make your nerves run rampant. 
“What about my dream girl waiting back home?”, he asked quietly. 
You took a deep breath. Thoughts were racing through your mind at such a speed that you couldn’t grasp a single one - shreds of “dream girl” and “after all these years” and “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck”. A lot of that last one, really. With how close he was, those too-familiar eyes boring into yours and the feeling of his touch for what was the first time in a decade, you couldn’t even say you were surprised. 
“Dream girl?”, you repeated breathlessly, your voice hoarse to the point of breaking. You had half a mind to stay where you were (not that you could move a muscle). He smiled. 
“Dream girl.” 
Your brain short-circuited. 
This was better even than the wildest of scenarios you’d been imagining since you’d got the invite to the reunion - hell, this was better than what you’d been imagining over the past fifteen years. You’d pictured over and over what it would be like to see him again, to talk to him and to touch him again, and every time you had scolded yourself for doing so because it would never happen anyway. Now here you were. And Jake was more breath-taking, more overwhelming than ever, driving you to the edge of insanity with just his presence, a grown version of the boy you’d kept close to your heart all throughout your life, a man now who’d achieved everything he’d ever wanted, and he was telling you, you and no one else, after fifteen years, that you were his dream girl. That you were the only thing this whole town still had to offer, the only thing he was still missing. 
You had to close your eyes and take a shaky breath. 
“Jake”, you said quietly. “We haven’t seen each other in over a decade. You don’t even know who I am anymore.” 
His thumb kept brushing over your skin even after the tears had dried. 
“So let me get to know you again”, he muttered. 
You smiled. It was like he was plucking the - in themselves very few - doubts from your mind with such care that you felt fuzzy inside. You opened your eyes again to look at him, only to catch him still staring at you, lips curled in something between a genuine smile and a cheeky grin. 
“I went to college in California because I had to get away from home for a bit”, you started in a whisper. If he wanted to get to know you, he’d have to make do with the run down of your life for now. “Studied child care. Came back and got a job as a kindergarden teacher here. I got an apartment, I got a car, I got a cat. You know, just like I’d always said. It all worked out exactly like I’d planned.” 
Jake raised his eyebrows. His fingers had travelled from your chin to cup your jaw softly, thumb brushing over your cheek.
“So you’re living your dream”, he said. 
“I guess so.” 
“Impressive.” 
“Says you.” 
There was a pause - Jake was just looking at you again, smiling, but you didn’t feel like complaining. You never had, you certainly never would. He could spend the rest of his life looking at you if he wanted to. 
“Green still your favourite colour?”, he asked. You nodded. If it were anyone else, maybe you would’ve been surprised that they’d remembered but god, it was him, you would’ve been surprised if he hadn’t. He’d remembered every little detail about you back then, from the nail polish you had used to the sound of your father’s footsteps coming down the staircase. 
“Your mum’s hot chocolate still the only you’ll drink?” 
You nodded again. Your smile was quickly turning into a broad grin. 
“Do you still turn the volume all the way up when our song plays?” 
You swallowed. And nodded again. Your song - the one that had played in the background for your first kiss, for your last, for your first dance at prom, that time you’d baked in his kitchen, countless more when you’d been driving around in his truck. You had turned it up all the way whenever you’d heard it, no matter where or when. And Jake had pulled you close to him and started dancing with you, twirling you this way and that until you collapsed against his chest, smiling and laughing and kissing him. Even after he’d left, you had always turned up the volume, just now with no one to dance to it with. 
“So I do still know you”, he muttered. You paused to examine him. 
“And do I still know you?”, you asked, voice barely more than a breath. His thumb on your cheek stilled. Instead you felt him reach for your waist, tugging you closer, so close that you had to tilt your head back to keep looking at him. You felt your breath catch. 
“You’ll have to find out”, he drawled. 
“I’d like to”, you smiled. “I’d really like to. It’s just... How do we know it’s not gonna end like before again?” 
He was so close that you could kiss him now. He felt like home, all familiar and comfortable and cozy, like love and adventure and sparks in your stomach. He was real, he was here, right now, right there, right in front of you, touching you, talking to you. This wasn’t some fantasy - and that was why you were scared. 
It was all fun and games imagining it. Imagining that you’d meet him again and fall for him again and that you’d spend the rest of your life with him because he was the only man you’d ever truly love. But this, this was reality, this was the real world with all its obstacles and its difficulties. The problem was that you remembered like it was yesterday how you had broken up - why you had broken up. 
Afterwards you’d been sitting cross-legged in the passenger seat of his truck, letting your tears fall and drop onto your shirt, onto his shirt that you’d been wearing, staring out of the window at the sky and the scenery change, blankly for the very first time. You had been hugging yourself, arms wrapped around your torso, and the radio hadn’t been playing - the radio had always played. But not then. He had been driving in silence and you hadn’t said anything either and when he had pulled up in the driveway in front of your house, you had got out without another word and paused just before closing the door. 
“I love you, Jake”, you’d said. “I’ll never not love you.” 
And he’d said “I love you too. More than you’ll ever know” and then you had shut the door and not looked back at him once as you had walked up to the house, fumbled for your keys and sunken down into a puddle of human limbs in the hallway, sobbing and screaming and struggling for breath. 
“Because it was the wrong time back then”, he said now, holding you close to him. 
“And this is the right time?”, you asked. 
“We’ll have to find out”, he said. 
There was a certainty to his voice, a determination in his eyes that told you he wasn’t saying it lightly. Jake Seresin was never saying anything lightly. So despite your fear, you had to smile at him. 
“Kiss me”, you breathed. 
You didn’t have to think about it, didn’t have to ponder the what’s and if’s or any of the consequences. If there was one thing you knew about him, it was that when he did something, anything, he would come out a winner, because that was just what he did: win. Any situation, any challenges, any difficulties thrown at him. It was why you had always been able to trust him completely, to follow him blindly. Because Jake Seresin would never do something he wasn’t a hundred percent sure of. 
So when he pulled you close, when he leaned in, when your heart stopped beating for the moment that his eyes travelled to your lips, when you felt his breath on your skin, the last of your doubts faded away. And when his lips met yours, the last of your thoughts left right with them and your eyes fluttered shut. Because the kiss was soft and gentle, because neither of you moved for a second, because you were holding your breath in fear that this moment might be a dream after all, because he put an arm around your waist and held you close, because your hands found their way to his jaw, cupping his face, holding him there as firmly and as carefully as you could, as if not wanting to break him or maybe just not wanting to break the kiss. Because he tasted like mint and beer and vanilla somehow and because he smelled of sandalwood and spice and something so distinctly him. Because it was so familiar and so new at the same time. 
Because when he moved his lips against yours, when he deepened the kiss, your feet suddenly weren’t on the ground anymore, not anywhere near the earth, and if you had opened your eyes you probably would have seen heaven, but you didn’t because why would you have, why would you have with his arm around you and his hand holding your cheek and his lips on yours so perfectly. 
There were fireworks going off in your heart, butterflies going berserk in your tummy, warmth unfurling in every part of your body. 
He tasted of your very first kiss and your last and every single one in between that, of the memories of so many: your legs wrapped around his waist, waves crashing against your bodies, friends cheering from the beach; your arms around his neck, the hood of his jacket, too big for you anyway, pulled over your head, snowflakes catching on your nose; his fingers skipping over your cheek, pulling you close to him, rain dripping against the umbrella he was holding over the two of you; the warmth of his sweater and a cup of tea, sitting cross-legged on his windowsill, his lips barely ghosting over yours, quickly, softly, as to not disturb your stargazing. 
When he pulled back, you were tempted to chase after him for another kiss, but instead you just smiled at him. He rested his forehead against yours, eyes still closed, thumb still brushing over your cheek. 
“I waited so long for that”, he muttered. The thought sent a shiver down your spine. 
“No longer than I have”, you chuckled. You were still a little breathless and a lot emotional. He opened his eyes and pulled back a bit to look at you, the ghost of a grin dancing across his lips. 
“No”, he admitted. “Probably not.” 
You wanted nothing more than to bathe in this feeling of joy, of bliss, of finally being back home, but... 
“Jake”, you whispered. “Why did you never come see me? You visited your parents at least once a year for Christmas. Why now?” 
He pulled away from you, drawing his arm back and his hand from your jaw, and you felt horribly lonely at once, like you’d made some irreversible mistake and hurt him deeply. He grabbed the neck of his beer bottle and took a sip. Your teeth found your bottom lip again and you reached for your long abandoned whiskey glass, fingertips skimming over the rim as you watched him from the side. Eventually, he let out a chuckle and shrugged. 
“I was scared”, he said quietly. You raised your eyebrows. 
“Scared?”, you repeated. You couldn’t believe that any word related to fear was rolling off his tongue. Jake Seresin was never scared. He simply didn’t do fear. “You? That can’t be.” 
He laughed then and looked back up at you and you felt yourself smile, relieved that you didn’t seem to have hurt him after all. 
“It’s true. Sadly.” 
You grinned and shook your head, still in shock that not only he’d been afraid at all, but that he was admitting it - to you, to himself. He really must have grown a lot over the years. 
“So why now, all of a sudden?”, you asked. 
He was quiet for a moment, just looking at you, taking in your expression, thinking about your question and how to answer it or thinking about if to answer it at all, you didn’t know. 
“I flew a mission two months ago.” He’d gone serious. “A few of us almost didn’t come back. Makes you think about your priorities in life.” 
You couldn’t help the lump in your throat or the way your fingers stilled. You’d always tried to ignore just how dangerous his job actually was, what was on the line every time he started the plane. Once you’d asked him about it, about why he would purposefully put himself at risk like that, and he’d looked at you in earnest and asked you if you would not do the same for your dream, if you would decide any different, decide to keep yourself safe with no concern for the children in your care. You’d smiled and kissed him instead of giving him an answer. It had been obvious enough. 
“So... you’ve been rethinking priorities?”, you asked carefully. 
Priorities. That one word had held so much power all those years ago. It had been the reason he’d left, the reason you’d stayed, the reason you’d let him leave, the reason he’d let you stay. Priorities. Over a decade later and it was still haunting you. You’d done your own fair share of thinking about it. 
“You haven’t?”, he asked, a smile tugging at his lips. You had to smile as well, shaking your head slightly as you chuckled. 
“I have.” 
He raised his eyebrows as if to say I told you so. 
“You really think we can do this”, you realised, somehow not surprised. Jake just didn’t take unnecessary risks. He nodded. 
“I do.” 
It had been fifteen years. Fifteen years that you’d spent without him, without anything - no calls, no texts, no nothing. But here he was and despite what should be logical and reasonable and what you should probably do, you knew that you’d still do anything he asked. If he was serious about this, you would be too. If he thought you could manage it, then you would manage it. 
“How long are you gonna be here?”, you asked. He chuckled. 
“Two weeks.” 
“Already got a place to stay?” 
He raised his eyebrows at that, amusement apparent in his expression, and you couldn’t help but grin. 
“Not necessarily.” 
“Alright”, you said, trying your hardest not to look too cheeky. “How would you like a cozy little apartment with absolutely no room service but a fully functioning kitchen and a very cute alarm at 3am every night called my cat?”
Jake smiled. 
“Sounds lovely.” 
“You’re saying that now”, you snorted. “Wait ‘till you get punched in the face by one too-big possum.” 
“Sounds very lovely.” 
You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your whiskey - it was almost empty by now and the clock read half past eleven. Was it acceptable to leave already? You’d talked to most everybody you’d wanted to catch up with so far, exchanged numbers with everyone you wanted to keep in touch with. There was nothing really keeping you here. 
“Do you...” You bit your lip, suddenly shy for some reason. Maybe it’d been too long to still feel confident when suggesting something like this. “Do you want to get out?” 
His grin deepened, turned smug, and he raised his eyebrows, emptying his beer at once. 
“I hear there’s an apartment waiting for me”, he said. 
“And a demon possum”, you reminded with a laugh. 
“Not to forget.” 
Silence fell, comfortable, only for a second. He was here and he was real and he had kissed you and you were taking him home. Taking him home because maybe this time it would last. Because you felt fifteen years younger with him, like a girl in her last year of high school. Because you wanted all that again, everything that since then you had only read of in romance novels and watched on screens. That “love of my life”, that “once in a lifetime”, that “heaven on earth”. Maybe you were stupidly optimistic. Maybe you remembered it all through rose-coloured glasses and the perception of a teenage girl. 
But maybe it would be even better. Maybe this time it really would last. Maybe you had, in fact, both rethought priorities. Maybe you had both come to the same conclusion. Maybe this time, love would play just as important of a role for your futures as your careers had back then. Maybe what Jake said was true - maybe this was the right time.
“I’ve got my truck parked outside”, he said, putting the beer bottle down on the bar top. 
“The same old truck?”, you asked. That truck had been through a lot with the two of you. You’d been through a lot with that truck. You couldn’t believe it still existed. 
“Same old truck”, he nodded. You shook your head as you grinned at him. You’d had your first kiss there, you’d said your first I love you’s there - you’d said your last there too. 
So you puzzled his phone back together, held it out to him and drawled:
“Then take me for a ride, cowboy.” 
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