#but i also refuse to lie and tell you it's fine and that your convenience outweighs people's lives. it doesn't.

[dykeogenes]

sick and fucking tired of abled people wanting me to hold their hand and reassure them we can still be friends if they don’t wear masks. fuck you. don’t you dare ask me “is it okay if i keep my mask off?” you KNOW the answer is no. you already know i don’t want your fucking covid because you have EYES and I’M WEARING A GODDAMN N95.

people only ever ask that question because they KNOW your response is going to be “oh, um, i don’t care...” bc responding any other way makes you look unhinged and demanding. nobody is ever gonna tell you to put a mask on. do you understand that? nobody is EVER gonna ask you to put a mask on, no matter how high fucking risk they are. “you can’t tell me what to do with my body” NONE OF US EVER WILL.

when you say “stop trying to force me to wear a mask,” what you are actually saying is “stop reminding me that my choice not to wear a mask is selfish and ableist, because that makes me feel bad about myself.”

the first point would be a fair request-- much as i think you should be masked, i sure don’t think anyone should hold you down and force it on you. but nobody is doing that.

the second point is not a fair request. kill us if you want. fine. i can’t stop you. but you will look us in the fucking eye when you pull the trigger.

[nulfaga]

And do you know what else. i swear i won't speak for a minute after this but do you know what drives me crazy. the fact that, if you don't attend the autopsy, the baron's head wound gets overlooked and disappears from the narrative altogether. the story becomes: the baron was stabbed. you can't point out potential blunt weapons and every time you suspect someone you can only think, "were they strong enough to turn a knife on him?"

i understand it completely on a gameplay level. you get told in so many words to definitely go to this time-sensitive event, so if you manage to still sit it out, you have to suffer the consequences. fine.

on a narrative level, though, how is it possible that between the two of them, florian (who finds the head wound independently if you attend the autopsy) and stolz (a university-trained doctor, as he's very, very fond of saying) can only infer that an inch-deep, awkwardly angled stab wound was the cause of death?

if you do something else during the examination, you later get a note from florian to say that he held off as long as he could, but in the end the examination was "a bit rushed" and he "had no choice but to conclude" that the stab wound was what killed the baron.

i feel like one of two things has to have happened here. 1) florian successfully stalled the autopsy for so long that lady salomea arrived and there was literally no time to do anything but glance at the obvious injury and go "yep, checks out, i guess".

or 2) (and bear with me here): florian managed to stall only for a brief while—he waved off the doctor and told him to fetch the abbot first; stolz and gernot come back; florian is still reluctant to start without andreas; stolz's very short fuse burns out and he petitions the abbot to let him do the examination on his own; and for whatever reason, stolz bungles it. he's either not willing to get his hands dirty or not willing to look further than the (apparently) obvious injury, so he overlooks the head wound and the syphilitic sore and anything else that might be pertinent.

the reason i'm entertaining option 2) at all is mostly because of two particular pieces of dialogue in act II. you sit down for dinner with baltas and the doctor and needle him for details about otto's autopsy, and he steadfastly refuses to breathe a word about it. however:

- if andreas studied medicine, you can mention reading a book by benivieni (an italian physician who made strides by performing numerous dissections) and ask stolz's opinion. he answers that "[benivieni] is far too specialized for my practice. there's hardly a reason any man should be so interested in the anatomy of the dead."

- also w/ the medicine background, you can try and get the gory details from him by saying that you both must have seen your share of dissections in your time at university (therefore it's nbd). stolz answers, "ah, you see, my education was more...theory...than hands-on practice. a reputable institution keeping things clean, you know..."

so doctor stolz, imo, is one of the easiest characters to read based on cues in his dialogue. you can tell in an instant when you've pissed him off or caught him off-guard. additionally, the player will know firsthand that stolz never passes up a chance to show someone up with his superior intellect (calling florian a "battlefield sawbones", or—just try to ask him for help with ferenc's cipher. eesh.)

for those reasons, this particular line strikes me as bizarrely, uncharacteristically tentative: to start with 'ah, you see', to pause before and after the word 'theory', to trail off "you know...".

and fair's fair, it is possible to read this as a savvy lie to get andreas to stop pressing for details, but frankly there's no evidence that stolz has the people skills for that (to intentionally adjust his tone), nor does it seem likely he'd consciously embarrass himself (by admitting that andreas has any sort of advantage on him), even if it was convenient.

so if we take it on faith that he's telling an uncomfortable truth, that his vaunted university education was actually based in theory, and that he has very little—if any—hands-on experience by the time he's made it to tassing, then it's not a huge leap to wonder how qualified he actually was for the two autopsies he's meant to have performed. rothvogel and otto both seemed to have a simple, readily apparent cause of death: it would be easy to take a quick look and confirm the obvious.

florian specifically decides the baron's stab wound wasn't the cause of death because it couldn't have "[issued] forth all that blood we found him in". but if, as the doctor presiding over the autopsy, you hadn't seen enough people bleed to intuit how much blood ought to come out of a stab wound of that depth and in that location, you might not think to keep looking—you might assume it was open and shut, knife killed him, done.

at least in act I the townsfolk pretty unanimously dislike stolz; most of the criticism comes down to his apparent aloofness (agnes says he refuses to step up to help any of the women in town and refers to his "clammy attentions". his journal entry even mentions he's "known for his unpleasant manner".) the only person with a good word to say about him is grett, who tells you in confidence that he's prescribed her a fantastic salve for hemorrhoids. which is interesting, because that's definitely information you can get by memorizing pharmaceutical texts. so it's easy to conclude that he has a solid basis in theory, but falls short when it comes to the human element, things that can only be learned through experience (and not without a measure of humility).

it's also possible that this is what initially kept him from moving to innsbruck and starting a practice there: maybe he intended to (discreetly) cut his teeth practicing in tassing before striking out for an imperial city. but he's so concerned that someone might discover his shortcomings that he turtles up and gets pompous, which leads the townsfolk to avoid him, which keeps him from gaining that practical knowledge, and now it's a feedback loop of bruised egos and failure. sad.

[sicknessbysalem]

Loved your new Calypso and Cassius fic!! the concept of twins is so cool. If you're willing, would you do a switcheroo with Cassius sick this time?

absolutely! ask and you shall recieve!

i am loving working with cassius and calypso! so this was so much fun. i also peppered in a little more plot/showing what the twins lives are like.

if you have any more questions, comments, requests, etc., send them my way!

tw emeto, fever, magic overuse, overwork.

“What’s wrong?”

The question made Cassius jump, his focus snapping away from the leather-bound book of alchemy recipes spread before him. He looked up to find Calypso gazing at him intently, her eyes sharp and questioning despite her seemingly casual posture.

“What do you mean?” he replied, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Your emotional aura,” Calypso said without looking up from her own spellbook, her tone matter-of-fact. “I can’t read yours as well. It’s murky. You put up a blockade, didn’t you?”

Cassius sighed, his shoulders sagging slightly. “Maybe accidentally,” he shrugged, attempting nonchalance.

“That’s also your medical alchemy book,” Calypso noted, her eyes still fixed on her spells. “You don’t tell me what’s up, I’ll make you.”

“Darling sister,” Cassius said, flipping a page with feigned indifference. “Your curiosity is kind but unnecessary.”

“Ew, formal Cassius,” Calypso wrinkled her nose slightly, her aura shifting with a mix of annoyance and amusement. “I didn’t invite him.”

“Really, Cal,” Cassius tried again, his voice softer. “I’m fine.”

It was a lie, of course.

Cassius was sick. Or, at least, getting sick. Unlike Calypso, who got sick violently and suddenly, Cassius got sick slowly. It would take hours, if not days, before he was actually sick. But he sure would feel it.

The dull ache of an oncoming fever simmered beneath his skin, each heartbeat sending a throb of heat through his veins. His limbs felt heavy, weighed down by a fatigue that seemed disproportionate to the minimal effort he had expended.

They had no shows tonight. They had one tomorrow, but that was tomorrow’s battle. He and Calypso had been in the study all morning, Calypso reading through spell books and Cassius looking at whatever alchemy books he could get his hands on.

His stomach churned uneasily, not quite nausea but a persistent discomfort that refused to be ignored. His magic, usually a source of energy and strength, drained him more than usual, each spell he cast leaving him feeling more depleted.

He knew Calypso too well. Her specialty wasn’t exactly emotional auras—well, for everyone except him. He couldn’t hide how he felt from her, usually. But finding a blockade spell conveniently bookmarked in one of her spellbooks—no doubt for her own use—he wasted no time in casting it to guard himself.

Then he sought solace in his medical alchemy book, hoping to brew something that could tackle his symptoms head-on. Yet his searches were coming up more and more negative, as if the book could sense his distress and was deliberately hiding the answers he sought.

“Calypso, did you hex my alchemy journal?” Cassius questioned some time later, frustration creeping into his voice. “Again?”

“Not this time,” Calypso replied, looking up from the pages of one of her spell books, a hint of a smirk playing at her lips. “To be fair, last time you almost needed to go to the emergency room.”

“So if I tell you that I don’t feel very well,” Cassius said, his tone cautious, “The pages won’t come back?”

“Jesus, Cas, I didn’t do it this time,” Calypso said, rolling her eyes. “Even if I had, after the last incident you decided to take into your own hands with my spell book, I wouldn’t do anything to your books if for nothing else to protect my own.”

“Then where are they?” Cassius said, “They’re usually here.”

“Oh, you’re fiesty!” Calypso giggled, “Here’s an idea, maybe your fever is messing up your focus and vision, as it usually does, and you’re struggling with reading anything in that book.”

Cassius stared at her, processing her words. He rubbed his temples, feeling the pounding headache intensify. She was probably right. The fever was making it difficult to concentrate, each line of text swimming before his eyes. He closed the book with a sigh, resting his head in his hands.

Calypso watched him for a moment, her expression softening. “Come on, Cas,” she said gently. “Let me help you. We both know there’s nothing in those books for this. You need rest and maybe some herbal tea. Mostly rest, I’m sure.”

Cassius looked up at her, grateful for her concern despite his attempts to hide his illness. “Alright,” he conceded. “But if you make me drink any sort of awful concoction, you owe me.”

Calypso chuckled, closing her own book and standing up.

“Deal,” she said, extending a hand to help him up. “Now, let’s get you settled. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

Cassius took her hand, allowing her to lead him to the comfort of his room. Calypso was not a caring person by any means. Unless, of course, it was with him. He knew that.

“I’ll grab you some water,” Calypso said, “I can bring up a few books too, if you want.”

Calypso had a routine. Whether it was a full illness or just a bad day all things considered for Cassius, she was always ready and planned for how she would get him to relax without overwhelming him. She was good at it. He appreciated her for it.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Cassius said.

He just hoped it would be.

-

Around midnight, Cassius moaned softly as he rolled over once more. No matter how he positioned himself, he couldn't find the slightest bit of comfort.

The sheets felt too warm and constricting, the pillow too flat and unyielding. His body ached with a restless energy, an unyielding discomfort that seemed to gnaw at his very bones.

It was more annoying than anything else if he was being completely honest, a persistent nagging that kept him from the sleep he desperately needed.

Cassius really wasn’t feeling good. It wasn’t that he felt bad exactly—at least not in the usual sense of the word—but he just knew he needed to be in better health.

Actually, it was just getting worse the longer he lay there. His limbs felt heavy, weighed down by an invisible force, and his head throbbed with a dull, persistent ache.

His skin felt too tight, too sensitive, every brush of the sheets against his body sending ripples of irritation through his nerves.

For a moment, he wondered if he was overthinking, and with overthinking came induced feelings of malaise. But no amount of rationalizing could dispel the undeniable truth of his symptoms.

His throat felt tight, like it was closing in on itself, each swallow a painful effort. And his stomach was in complete turmoil, sloshing dangerously with every movement. Feeling as though one wrong breath would make him fully lose it.

He could feel the small portion of dinner he had managed to down trying to leave its current residence, churning and moving in a nauseating whirl that left him feeling shaky and dizzy even though he was laying down.

Cassius knew he was going to throw up. He knew it. The acid burning the back of his throat confirmed it, a bitter, acrid taste that made his mouth water unpleasantly. The tug in his stomach told him so, a relentless pull that demanded release.

His body was quick to disprove any hope of holding it back. His jaw clenched tight, and he kicked off his sheets with a sudden, frantic urgency.

His heart pounded in his chest as he made a mad scramble to his bathroom, each step sending jolts of pain through his already aching muscles. Standing so fast made him dizzy, it always did. He barely stumbled to the toilet in time, his knees hitting the cold, hard tile with a thud as he doubled over.

The first wave of vomit came violently, forcing its way up his throat with a brutal intensity that left him gasping for breath.

His body convulsed, each heave wracking him with pain as his stomach expelled its contents. The taste was vile, burning and acidic, as the remnants of his dinner and bile mixed in a nauseating slurry.

His vision blurred with tears, and he could feel the sweat pouring down his face, mingling with the tears as they dripped onto the floor.

He retched again and again, each bout more forceful than the last. His stomach felt like it was turning itself inside out, the muscles contracting painfully as they worked to expel every last bit of its contents.

He could feel the strain in his abdomen, the sharp, cramping pain that accompanied each heave. His throat burned, raw and sore from the constant vomiting, and his mouth tasted of bile and acid.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the retching began to subside. Cassius leaned against the cool porcelain of the toilet, his body trembling with exhaustion. His stomach still churned, but the immediate threat of vomiting seemed to have passed.

He closed his eyes, taking deep, shaky breaths as he tried to regain some semblance of composure. Now was the battle of trying to get back to bed.

He knew he needed to get back to bed, to try and rest, but the thought of moving was almost too much to bear. Every muscle in his body ached, his head pounded with a relentless intensity, and his throat felt like it had been scraped raw.

Cassius finally managed to pull himself up, using the sink for support. He rinsed his mouth out with cool water, the taste of bile lingering despite his efforts.

He splashed water on his face, hoping to wash away some of the sweat and tears, but it did little to alleviate the discomfort.

He made his way back to his bed, each step a painful effort. He collapsed onto the mattress, too exhausted to even pull the covers over himself. His body ached, his stomach still churned, and his head throbbed, but at least he was no longer on the bathroom floor.

As he lay there, staring up at the ceiling, he couldn't help but wonder how much longer this would last. And, worst of all, how he was expected to handle tomorrow.

-

Morning came way too soon. Cassius was roused from his fitful slumber by a gentle but persistent shaking. He groaned, trying to burrow deeper into the mattress, but the shaking only intensified.

"Cassius, wake up," Calypso's voice broke through the haze of sleep. "We need to get ready for our appearance."

Cassius reluctantly opened his eyes, blinking against the harsh morning light streaming through the window. Calypso was leaning over him, her expression a mix of concern and urgency. Her hand was on his shoulder, shaking him awake.

"Cal, what time is it?" he mumbled, his voice hoarse and raw.

"It's late," she replied, her tone leaving no room for argument. "We need to get moving. They are already downstairs waiting."

Cassius groaned again, rubbing his eyes. His body ached, a dull, persistent pain that seemed to radiate from every muscle.

His stomach was still unsettled, a lingering queasiness that made him wary of any sudden movements. But he knew how their aunt and uncle were. They expected perfection, no matter the circumstances.

"Alright, I'm up," he said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The room spun for a moment, and he had to close his eyes to steady himself.

Calypso watched him. Watched how pale he got. “You should know better than to sit up so fast…”

She handed him a glass of water with a worried frown. "Are you sure you're okay? You don’t look good at all."

Cassius forced a weak smile. "I'll be fine," he lied. "Just need to get through today."

Calypso didn't look convinced, but she didn't press the issue. She knew how stubborn he could be, especially when it came to their performances.

“Just take it easy, okay?" she said, helping him to his feet. "We have a long day ahead."

Cassius nodded, grateful for her support. He took a deep breath, trying to gather his strength, and followed her to the bathroom.

He splashed cold water on his face, hoping to wash away some of the lingering fatigue. His reflection in the mirror showed a pale, drawn face with dark circles under the eyes—a stark contrast to his usual vibrant appearance.

After a quick shower, Cassius dressed in his usual attire, the familiar clothes giving him a small measure of comfort. He could hear their aunt and uncle talking downstairs, their voices sharp and impatient. There was no time to waste.

Calypso was waiting for him, her expression a mask of determination. "Ready?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.

"Ready," Cassius replied, squaring his shoulders. He forced another smile, trying to project confidence he didn't feel.

They made their way downstairs, where their aunt and uncle were waiting. Their uncle glanced at Cassius, his eyes narrowing.

“You look like death warmed over," he said bluntly. "We can't afford to have you looking sick in front of the public."

Calypso rolled her eyes, “Well, he isn’t feeling well. What do you expect of him?”

Cassius forced himself to stand a little straighter, ignoring the burning in his throat and the churning in his stomach. "I'm fine," he said, his voice steady despite the lie.

Their aunt gave him a critical once-over, her lips pursed. "We have a reputation to uphold," she said. "Make sure you don't embarrass us. Calypso, dear, make him more presentable.”

Calypso sighed, summoning her makeup bag to her, getting to work.

Cassius let her, keeping his expression neutral. He knew better than to argue. Calypso shot him a sympathetic look as she worked on him, but she said nothing, knowing it would only make things worse.

They left the house once their aunt and uncle approved, stepping into the bright morning sunlight. The town was bustling with activity, the streets crowded with people preparing for the day's events.

Cassius took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. The public appearance was just the first hurdle of the day; they still had to prep for the evening show.

Throughout the morning, Cassius pushed himself to maintain his usual charm and composure. He smiled and greeted people, his voice warm and friendly despite the exhaustion that tugged at him. Calypso stayed close, her presence a reassuring anchor in the sea of faces.

As the day wore on, the strain began to show. Cassius could feel his energy waning, his limbs growing heavier with each passing hour. His stomach was a constant source of discomfort, the queasiness never fully abating. But he was determined to push through. He couldn't afford to let their aunt and uncle down, not when so much was riding on their performance.

By the time they returned home to prepare for the evening show, Cassius was running on sheer willpower. He slumped into a chair, his head in his hands, trying to summon the strength to get back up.

Calypso knelt beside him, her hand resting gently on his arm. "Cas, you don't have to do this," she said softly. "If you're too sick—"

"I can do it," Cassius interrupted, his voice firm. He looked up at her, his eyes filled with determination. "I have to."

Calypso sighed, but she didn't argue. She knew how much this meant to him. "Alright," she said, squeezing his arm. "But promise me you'll take it easy. I'll handle as much as I can."

-

As the evening drew closer, the anticipation for the show grew. The siblings busied themselves with preparations, ensuring every detail was perfect.

Cassius, despite his best efforts to appear well, was visibly struggling. Calypso watched him with concern, her heart aching for her brother. She knew he was pushing himself too hard, but she also knew how much this meant to him.

As they got ready backstage, Calypso smoothed down the collar of her jacket, made some adjustments to her shorts and her tights. Then turned her focus to Cassius.

She took the collar of his cape in her hands, “Here, let me help you," she said softly, fastening them and fixing his pin.

“And one more thing…” Calypso said, walking over to the vanity and grabbing her spell book.

Cassius knew. He knew what she was doing. What she was looking for.

Cassius shook his head, his face pale and drawn. "Cal, you know I don't like you using your magic on me," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It hurts you, and we both need our strength for the show."

"It only hurts a little bit, it’ll even out,” Calypso insisted, her eyes pleading. "And this way, I can make you feel a little more stable, at least."

Cassius sighed, too tired to argue. He nodded reluctantly, and Calypso raised her hands, murmuring an incantation under her breath. Cassius let her, and part of him was glad he did, the ache in his body eased, the dizziness receded. He could feel the stabilizing effects of her magic, but he also knew the toll it took on her.

"Thank you," he said, his voice filled with gratitude and concern.

Calypso smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Anything for you, Cass," she said, before turning to continue her own preparations.

The show began, and as always, the siblings dazzled the audience with their seamless performance. Calypso moved with her usual grace and confidence, her spells and tricks flowing effortlessly.

Cassius, on the other hand, struggled to maintain his usual charisma. His movements were slower, his spells taking more effort than usual. The strain was evident, and Calypso noticed every falter, every slip.

Throughout the performance, Calypso did her best to help him discreetly. She used subtle spells to ease his discomfort, cooling charms to lower his fever, and fanned him with her deck of cards, a seemingly playful gesture that was actually a desperate attempt to keep him from overheating between the lights, the stress, and the fever. He could see her worry when they made eye contact, but she kept her show persona intact, her smile never wavering.

Cassius felt the support, the small moments of relief, but it wasn't enough to last. It couldn’t be enough to last, it would hurt her. He knew that, and he was thankful for what she offered.

As the show went on, the nausea grew stronger, the dizziness more pronounced. He fought to keep his composure, to not let the audience see how sick he was. Each spell, each movement drained him further, and by the time the show neared its end, he was barely holding on.

Calypso saw the change in him, the way his face paled even more, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. She knew he was close to his limit, and her heart broke for him. She intensified her efforts, pouring more of her magic into him, despite the pain it caused her. But it could only do so much.

Finally, the show reached its end. Cassius pushed himself to deliver the final spell, his vision swimming, his body trembling with exhaustion. As the applause erupted around them, he felt a wave of dizziness crash over him, and he knew he couldn't hold on any longer.

He stumbled backstage, the noise of the crowd fading into the background.

Calypso was right behind him, her hand on his back, guiding him. He heard her hesls clicking on the floor, running with him. As soon as they were out of sight, Cassius bolted for the closest trash bin and doubled over, the contents of his stomach violently making their way up. He retched, the force of it leaving him gasping for breath, his body shaking uncontrollably.

Calypso stopped beside him, her hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. "It's okay, Cass," she murmured, her voice filled with worry and love. "Just let it out."

Cassius vomited again, each heave more painful than the last. His throat burned, his stomach cramping painfully. Tears streamed down his face, and he could barely catch his breath between bouts of retching. Calypso stayed by his side, her presence a comforting anchor amidst the turmoil.

When it finally subsided, Cassius slumped against the wall, his body drained of all energy. Calypso wiped his face with a damp cloth he was sure she conjured up, her sapphire eyes glimmering with a mix of post-show high and worried tears.

“You pushed yourself too hard," she said softly, her voice trembling. "You need to rest."

Cassius nodded weakly, too exhausted to argue. He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. Calypso wrapped her arms around him, holding a surprising amount of his weight with ease.

“I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice barely audible, hugging her. He sought her support, both against how terrible he felt and to ease her worry.

"Don't be," Calypso said, her voice gentle but firm. "You did amazing, as always. Now, let’s get you home."

Cassius leaned heavily on her, his steps unsteady. He could feel the lingering effects of her magic, a small comfort amidst the pain.

Each step felt like an insurmountable challenge, his body trembling with exhaustion. Calypso could see the toll the night had taken on him, and her heart ached to see her brother in such a state.

They had barely made it to the dressing room when Calypso stopped, "We need to get out of here," she said softly. "They’ll want to bitch and complain, that’s the last thing you need. Hold on to me, Cass."

Cassius opened his eyes, a flicker of concern crossing his features. "Cal, you don't have to—"

"I do," Calypso interrupted, her voice resolute. "I need to get you home. Now, hold on."

Cassius tightened his grip around her, trusting her judgment. Calypso took a deep breath, summoning her magic. She could feel the familiar tingle of energy coursing through her veins, but this time, it was different. The spell she was about to cast required a significant amount of power, more than she usually exerted. But she was willing to bear the pain if it meant getting Cassius home safely.

She closed her eyes, focusing her energy, and began to chant softly under her breath. The air around them seemed to shimmer, the space distorting as the magic took hold. Cassius felt a rush of energy envelop them, a strange sensation that made his stomach lurch. Surely if he was healthy he’d probably feel slightly uneasy but this made him nauseous, more nauseous anyway. He held on tighter, trusting Calypso to guide them.

In an instant, the world around them shifted. The dressing room disappeared, replaced by the familiar surroundings of their home.

Calypso stumbled slightly, the effort of the spell leaving her breathless. She clung to Cassius, her body shaking with the strain.

Cassius looked at her, concern etched on his face. "Cal, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Calypso nodded.

She could feel the residual pain from the spell, a sharp ache that seemed to pulse through her entire body. But she pushed it aside, focusing on Cassius. "We’re home now. Let’s get you comfortable."

She guided him to his bed, helping him lie down. Her own legs felt unsteady, but she ignored it, her priority on her brother. Cassius sank into the cushions, his eyes heavy with exhaustion.

Calypso knelt beside him, her hand resting gently on his forehead. "You need to rest, Cass," she said softly. "I'll take care of everything else."

Cassius nodded, too tired to argue. He closed his eyes, a sense of relief washing over him now that they were home.

Calypso watched him for a moment, her heart heavy with worry. She knew she had pushed herself too hard, but seeing Cassius safe and resting made it worth it.

With a deep breath, Calypso stood up, though her legs wobbled slightly. She went to the kitchen, preparing a glass of water and gathering some herbal remedies she hoped would help ease Cassius's discomfort.

Returning to Cassius, she gently lifted his head, helping him drink the water. "Here, sip this," she murmured, her voice soothing. "It’ll help settle your stomach."

Cassius obeyed, taking small sips. The cool liquid soothed his throat, and he managed a weak smile. "Thank you, Cal."

"Always," she replied, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. "Now, get some rest. I'll be right here if you need anything."

Cassius nodded, his eyes already closing. Calypso watched him for a moment longer, ensuring he was comfortable before she allowed herself to sit down.

She grabbed her own spell book, flipping through the pages. The pain from the spell was more intense now, her entire body feeling like it was on fire. But she needed to watch Cassius, to protect him however she could.

“I’ve got you,” Calypso said, “Promise.”

[harmonyckrs]

DAY 10 in Twisted Strangetown: The Mysterious Death of Loki Beaker

THE PREVIOUS DAY

Abhijeet: So...about our most recent assignment.

Crystal: Yeah...it's going to be quite hard, won't it?

Abhijeet: Yeah! How exactly are we supposed to get inside of the Smith's house to kill Jenny? Their house is gated.

Crystal: Oh, I thought you were referring to the fact that we had to kill Jenny in the first place. And the truth is, I don't know. Right now, I just feel really bad for Lazlo. Doesn't seem like Flo took what he said at the meeting very well.

Abhijeet: Agreed. That smile she was making was so creepy...though, we probably shouldn't be dissing her like this inside of her own house.

Crystal: True.

"To stop him from handing tips,

Cast this spell to seal his lips.

His voice returns on one exception,

Bring two souls of full perception."

Lazlo: Wait, Flo! Don't-

Of all of the things we expected to happen in Strangetown, this was definitely not one of them.

Our new suspect, Loki, is dead.

Circe won't stop beating the fuck out of the test subject. Honestly, I kinda feel bad for him. But in her defense, after that horrible fire he created, I would not put it past that guy to kill Loki on accident...or on purpose. These guys do not treat him well. I'd lash out too, if I were him. Honestly, I'd feel bad charging him for anything.

And also that bitch Erin is here, along with Pascal and Olive. I'm guessing one of the three could've done it too, so now we have to hold them here alongside Nervous to figure out who it was. Circe was at work and Lola contacted her coworkers who confirmed that she was at work for the entire time, so we can rule her out as a suspect. Circe's also offered to help, but I'm not sure how much help I can get from a sadist who's coping by attacking everyone.

Lola and Ajay did say that they wanted to focus on the main mission and that we "shouldn't get sidetracked" and all that, so I decided to just do it myself. Definitely going to be looking forward to interrogating these fuckers...

It's incredibly convenient that the Beakers just have torture interrogation equipment in their house.

Chloe: So, what were you doing at the Beakers?

Pascal: Olive and I came together to talk to Nervous, and then we heard screaming before noticing Loki flying out of a window and twitching as he got shocked.

Chloe: The lie detector's saying that you're not telling the truth.

Pascal: What reason would I have to lie?

Chloe: You've got a great motive. You two are workplace rivals, and you're dating the guy he's been experimenting on. I know any rational man would hate the man torturing his lover.

Pascal: That is true, yes.

Chloe: So you're guilty.

Pascal: What? Just because I have some common decency? Can I at least get a lawyer?

Chloe: Nope. Now, tell me about your relationship with

Pascal: I refuse to speak any longer without a lawyer present.

Chloe: Okay, fine. I'll interrogate someone else.

Olive: Pascal and I came here together to talk to Loki, but he told us to wait downstairs as he went to the bathroom. Then, we heard screaming before noticing him falling out of the window.

Chloe: Pascal said you came to talk to Nervous.

Olive: Did he, now?...That's just what he thinks. Have you seen those two together in a room? They're practically insufferable. Reminds me of the things I'd do with the Reaper whenever I saw him...

Chloe: (Ew, please don't tell me about that!) Sure...

Olive: I must've forgotten. I suppose we wanted to talk to both...my memory isn't as good as it was before.

Chloe: Sure it isn't. Was there a reason why you and Pascal came together? You two don't usually get along.

Olive: Can't a woman have a change of heart? He's my future son-in-law, after all.

Chloe: Sure...alright, whatever.

Erin: Hello! I'm Erin. It's such a pleasure to meet you, Ms. SCIA Agent! What's your name?

Chloe: (I wish I could punch her face in.) Nice to see you too, Erin. And I'm not interested in telling you my name. Just tell me what you came here for.

Erin: Oh, I just wanted to talk to my brother! But then I see him flying out the window, and next thing I know I see Pascal and Olive racing down the stairs! They probably would've left if Nervous didn't happen to be downstairs and wanted to say hi.

Chloe: ...I see

Erin: Also, I got this recording!

Pascal: And you're sure this is going to work?

Olive: Of course. Once Loki is gone, we'll be able to get Nervous out of the house and back with us. We can deal with Circe afterwards.

Pascal: I'm just scared we'll get caught. I've got a daughter to care for and family that depend on me, and I don't want to spend my life behind bars.

Olive: Chill out. I'll take care of the murder. You just drag the bodies back to my house and bury them there....think of it as a mother-in-law and son-in-law bonding activity.

Pascal: Well, alright. I'll trust your judgement.

Erin: See?

Chloe: You were trespassing on Specter property? That's a crime in itself.

Erin: Oh COME ON! Trespassing isn't as bad of a crime as literal MURDER!

Chloe: If they were the murderers. What were you even doing on their property, anyway?

Erin: ...Stealing their newspaper...

Chloe: Theft and trespassing, huh?...I see. You've given me enough to work with.

Erin: But-

Chloe: NEXT!

Nervous: ...I'm sorry. It wasn't me...I promise.

Chloe: It's okay, we're not going to hurt you. Just tell us what you saw.

Nervous: Well...Circe left for work...Loki was cleaning the house. Then Erin came and asked if Loki was home, so I told her and she went upstairs. After that Pascal and Olive came asking to see Loki, so I told them that they went upstairs and then they went. A bit later, the two of them went downstairs and a little bit later I heard screaming...

Chloe: So Erin came first, huh?...thank you, Nervous. You've been a great help.

Nervous: I have?

Chloe: Yep. I think I know who did this now...

Chloe: After some careful deduction, I've come to my conclusion...

Chloe: Erin did it!

Erin: WHAT? I literally showed you a video of Pascal and Olive plotting! How would it be me?

Chloe: Because if it wasn't, you would've taken that video to the police instead of saving it for your interrogation.

Erin: Okay, fine! It was me! I overheard the plan and decided to kill Loki myself in order frame them!

Circe: How could you?! Erin! I thought we were friends!

Erin: I'm only friends with Loki! I could care less about you! You're the most insufferable person I've ever met!

Circe: You mean "couldn't," you dumb bitch?

Erin: Why would you care, anyway? You don't even have a heart. You're like...you're like a sociopath or something!

Chloe: Oh, arresting her is going to be so satisfy-

Circe: You piece of shit! I'LL KILL YOU!

Chloe: Well, that concludes this mystery. Circe, normally I'm supposed to arrest you for murder, but instead I'll just have you lose custody of Nervous, who will return under the care of Olive.

Circe: That's fine.

Chloe: But we will have to charge you for illegal experimentation and medical malpractice, so we'll probably have to take you to court about that in order to settle on a proper punishment.

Lola: ...How did you finish this already? I thought it would take at least a week.

Pascal: Awesome! We won!

Olive: Can we go home now?

Chloe: Yeah, obviously. We're done here.

Olive: Oh, finally.

Nervous: Pascal! We can live together now!...you know what that means, right?

Olive: Oh Watcher, you two are gross. I'm leaving.

Chloe: (I'll just leave those two at it.) So, what now?

Circe: I already contacted Meredith to move in with me. I think she'll make a pretty good test subject.

Chloe: You sure move on fast.

Circe: No point in dwelling. Besides, there's plenty of other people out there. I'm sure it shouldn't be hard to find someone else.

Circe: Well...I wish you all the best.

Circe: Thanks, Chloe...oh, and if you want, I can give you access to some of Loki's documents. He's been doing research on weather alternations and mind control, but stopped both after he caused eternal winter. Not sure why, but maybe you'll find some use to it.

Chloe: Hm...alright. Let me see.

Chloe: (Oh, fuck! This is gold!...I have to get this to Ajay and Lola as soon as I can!)

THE NEXT DAY

[vizthedatum]

I don’t know why you did it (I read articles and books… I talk to my friends… I cry and try to process with my psychiatrist, therapist, nurses, and other doctors):

Why did you ruthlessly control my life? Keep me trapped? Berate me for being disabled? Refuse to get help for our VERY SERIOUS rodent infestation? Not get your fucking covid booster when I asked you to? Tell me I was going to die and you were going to be permanently disabled because I went to an apartment-warming party full of immunocompromised people who I hadn’t seen in years?

Why did you not fight with me on our wedding day when you fought me on all the others?

Why can’t I remember so many days in 2020?

Why do I remember you ignoring me, giving me the silent treatment, while you talked with a stranger online about… absolutely nothing? I begged for your attention.

I think you’re the one that gave us covid… I keep thinking over and over about it. Because… I wanted to isolate after coming back from the wedding, and you told me you were suicidal about me isolating… so I didn’t isolate. And then we got covid. I don’t even know if you actually had it tbh - YOU NEVER TOOK A TEST. I took a test. Both of our symptoms were so mild. Were you faking yours? I even got monoclonal antibodies (which you refused to get despite your stupid fears of being permanently disabled (like wtf, everyone is or will be disabled in this life) (also I AM FUCKING PERMANENTLY DISABLED, YOU DUMB FUCK)) because you had me so scared I was going to die despite me knowing that my conditions might get worse with long covid but that I would be okay because of the vaccines and access to healthcare. I kept telling you that it would be ok - I’m a fucking epidemiologist, and you have no healthcare know-how. I tried to tell you about the statistics - you didn’t care. Covid was the most convenient thing for you to use as control.

You devalued me - and I let you. I truly believed I wasn’t worth anything I wanted. You kept me full of air by telling me I was smart and pretty - but it was all just a lie because you questioned all of my decisions to the point of gaslighting. You gaslit me so hard that it was criminal. You gave up even faking an interest in my gender presentation, my beauty, my aesthetics, my art - you lost affection for me - you slut shamed me, you fucking ableist prick. You, a person who’s been poly and sexually active since high school, slut shamed your fucking spouse and best friend who kept you as their number one priority until the day they left you.

You gave me a sham wedding. No ring. I wish we could have invited our friends digitally. You broke all your vows. Fake promises. Love bombing and breadcrumbing. You only touched me because it benefited you. You pretended everything was fine when we were around other people. You hated how I made friends. You resented going to the doctor’s office with me.

I think you started resenting me when I needed help with laundry back when we started dating.

Or maybe it was after my endo surgery?

Or maybe it was when you told me you felt betrayed when I was furiously packing before our friends gave us a ride to that one gaming con?

Or maybe it’s because I couldn’t play the games you wanted to play.

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t the puppet you wanted - the puppet you wanted to control, learn only the things you wanted to learn, listen to you rant for hours, fuck in only the ways you wanted without any regard for what would really make me feel good (I fucking adored you and would always try to make you feel good - and you didn’t care).

I fawned and people-pleased so much - just to keep the peace. I was throwing my life away so you could have yours.

That’s it, right? You’re not the only ex who just kept me around because I could do some things that they took advantage of, was nice enough (unless ofc I “acted up” (they all got scared when I was just myself)), and had a warm body to have sex with.

I hate you.

I hate you.

And now, you’re going around telling people that I abused you, that I’m ruining your life, etc.

You’re probably citing my recent relationships and my legal actions against you as signs of how unhinged I am, right? Maybe you think that because I’m openly talking about the abuse, then that’s a sign that I’m crazy and making things up?

I am healing now because I’m not tethered to you.

I fucking dare you to speak your truth. I WANT YOU TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT HAPPENED. You think I’m abusing you? Call me fucking out then.

You are so fucking abusive and delusional. You ruined my life. You have no right to judge me after I broke my body and soul to fucking serve you. You were the one who betrayed me at every turn.

You have no idea how lucky you are that I didn’t and haven’t pressed criminal charges. I hate the justice system more than you do (and you will never know why because you lack the necessary self-awareness and neural pathways to actually empathize with people, which is why you’ll keep abusing your partners, have shallow friendships, and wallow in your fucking useless controlling paranoia) - and Angela Davis? She would totally do what I did.

I hope you stay stoned and dissociated, pretending to be a “kind person” and just isolate yourself indefinitely like you wanted - because then maybe you won’t be such a danger to others.

I hate you.

[velvetcloxds]

COLLECTOR OF BROKEN THINGS| J.P.

Pairing: James x Fem!Reader

Word count: 2455 words

Warnings: mentions of emotionally abusive parent, somewhat angsty 

Summary:  After denying her feelings for James, the reader asks him to sneak up to the astronomy tower with her, taking the opportunity to finally be truly vulnerable in front of him.  

“I have a question,” Sirius notes, hand reaching to grab another chocolate-frog from the pile of candy thrown onto James’ bed. “Who do you think she’d choose between the four of us?” He asks and James eyes him curiously.

“What do you mean?” He questions, biting into his own treat.

“Well, we certainly know her better than anyone else, so I’m thinking that if she’d ever consider dating someone, we’d have a better shot than some random bloke in school,” Sirius explains with a numb shrug, leaning back against the headboard, Remus and Peter mimicking James’ confusion.

“Why do you care?” Peter asks, eyeing the last chocolate-frog carefully, wanting to take it until James beats him to it. He sighs softly before folding his arms and looking back at the raven-haired boy.

“I don’t know,” Sirius offers lightly, smiling when he notices Peter’ gaze shifting back to the chocolate in James’ hands. “Just curious I guess; we’ve been friends with her for so long and Y/n still seems like a mystery.”

“To you,” Remus notes with a scoff, lifting his eyes from his fingers which are fiddling with one of Sirius’ rings. “I think she’s taken a bit more of a liking to one of us,” He grins as he nods towards James, who is conveniently preoccupied with disposing of the candy wrappers. The boys laugh lightly, knowing that this is the complete opposite direction that James wanted this conversation to head in.

“I know you’re looking at me,” James offers with a light eyeroll, hand rushing though his hair as he leans back against the headboard as well. “And I’d have you know that she wouldn’t consider dating any of you fools,” He states plainly, throwing the unopened chocolate-frog onto Peter’s lap, the boy smiling gratefully as he takes the candy into his hands. “And that includes me.”

“Oh, you’ve tried your luck, have you?” Sirius muses, bumping the boy’s shoulder lightly with his own earning another group of laughs. “Did she turn you down, Prongs? Break your little heart?” He questions with a playful smile which is quickly removed when James punches him on the arm, not too hard, but hard enough to prove his point.

“It’s complicated,” James finally says meekly, looking between the three of them as Sirius drapes an arm around his shoulder, picking up on the boy’s mood shift.  Remus watches the interaction carefully, preparing to change the subject to protect the peace when a soft knock sounds at the door.

“Did you invite a girl up here?” Peter asks, looking to Sirius for an answer, Sirius shakes his head.

“It’s been a slow week,” He states plainly, “Besides, it’s the middle of the night, no girl would risk it, not even for me.” The second knock is louder and James sighs lightly as he pushes Sirius’ arm away to get up.

“James?” A soft voice questions and the boys all freeze, James looking at the door with large eyes and furrowed brows. “It’s me. It’s Y/n,” She clarifies in the same tone although it wasn’t necessary at all, he’d recognize her voice anywhere.

“James, she shouldn’t be here,” Remus offers quickly, standing up from the bed as well. “It’s way past curfew and she shouldn’t be in the Gryffindor dorms,” He stills at the boy’s side, frowning as he too looks at the still closed door. “She can get in a lot of trouble,” Remus notes worried, both about the fact that she may get onto trouble but also because she may very well be in trouble already if she’s here.

“Boys?” She asks, voice a little louder, though still not loud enough to announce her presence to anyone other than the fours boys in the room. “I can hear you in there,” She notes which causes a slight shuffle as Remus pushes James towards the door, inaudible words of motivation drifting from his lips when James carefully turns the doorknob.

“Hi,” James offers meekly as he opens the door, stumbling to the side as the girl comes into view. She smiles slightly, pulling at her jumper sleeves and focusing her attention to the ground where she shifts her weight between her feet. A warmth spreads through James’ body at the adorable sight, his own lips tilting into a smile.

“What are you doing here, Y/n?” Sirius questions cautiously, meeting at Remus’ side.

“I don’t know,” She replies after a moment, hesitantly looking up to meet James’ eyes. “I couldn’t sleep and so I decided to take a walk and somehow I ended up here.” She explains, pulling at her sleeves even more as she grips them between her fingers.

“Do you want to come in?” James smiles reassuringly as he looks at her, stepping aside to invite her in, but she shakes her head, eyes not leaving his. “What do you want to do, love?” He questions carefully and her cheeks flush at the words. Y/n was no stranger to the boys using little nicknames when they talked to her, it was their way of showing her they cared, but something about the word dripping from the lips of James Potter had her feeling some type of way.

“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to accompany me to the astronomy tower?” She looks around the room, taking in their ever-growing confusion.

“All of us?” Peter asks, still positioned on the bed as he peaks between Sirius and Remus to meet Y/n’s gaze at the door.

“No,” She answers quickly, blushing again when the boys deliver a shared hum of acknowledgement, and she turns back to James. “Just you,” She clarifies and shrugs lightly when James smiles down at her. “Only if you want to…”

“Of course, I do,” James replies too quickly, ignoring the less than subtle smirks on his friends’ silent lips. “Let me put on a shirt and shoes, yeah?” He nods at her quickly, catching Remus’ worried glare when he walks into the dorm, grabbing the nearest jumper and pulling it on, searching around for his shoes.

“You okay, darling?” Sirius asks while James’ searches and Y/n musters a small smile.

“I’m fine, Siri, don’t worry,” Sirius furrows his brows, raking his eyes over her for any sign of the opposite and then nods, mustering a smile of his own.

“You’ll tell us if you’re not?” Remus inquires in return, James stumbling to the door as he slips on his shoe.  She merely nods, stepping into the hall for James to join her. However, a strong hand on his shoulder stops him. “Take the cloak,” Remus commands calmly and nods towards the girl in the hall, he leans forward. “Look out for her.”

“Always,” James tells him, nodding at Peter when he hands him the cloak. “Always.”

“You didn’t tell them,” She notes after a while of silent walking, James looking around every few minutes to make sure that they’re still alone in the halls. She steals a glance his way, biting her lip at his nervous behavior. “You tell them everything, but it didn’t seem like you told them this,” He nods, looking up as they climb the stairs to their destination.

“They didn’t have to know,” James looks around  the tower quickly, giving a slight nod when there’s no one there, gesturing for her to come in as well. “I knew there was a chance that you only liked me as a friend and I’m completely fine with that,” He tilts his head to look at her when she stills at his side. “It’s fine, love,” He shrugs. “I’m not upset, I’m not hurt. You’re one of my best friends and as long as that stays the same then it’s fine.”

“No,” She whispers, James not hearing her objection as he walks over to the railing, dropping the cloak next to him as he looks down at all of Hogwarts with the night breeze ruffling through his hair. “It’s not fine,” She clarifies, louder though shaky as he turns around to see her. “It’s why I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about it all week, “ She ignores the intense frown on his face as she settles beside him, looking at the view as well. “I handled it wrong, and I lied,” James’ interest is peaked with her last statement, his body turning to look at her.

“What do you mean?” He questions carefully, watching her from the side as she considers her reply, eyes drifting around tiredly.

“You told me that you liked me, and I told you that I didn’t like you back- which was a lie,” She shakes her head, fingers tightening around the railing. “A horrendous lie, because I don’t just like you, James, I think I may be falling in love with you,” Her voice fades, words falling from her lips like she had no control over them, and James can’t fight the delighted smile which they prompt from him. The expression doesn’t last though, his shoulders sinking when he realizes that the girl beside him wears a contrasting frown instead.

“Why did you lie?” He asks her softly, inching closer to her. Y/n simply shakes her head, refusing to meet the boy’s gaze for even a second, his presence being enough to set every nerve in her body on fire. He gently lays his hand over one of hers, the subtle motion making her look up at him instantly. “Why did you lie, love?”

“You’ll think I’m being silly,” She admits shyly, allowing James’ fingers to entwine with her own.

“I could never,” He promises her with a soft nod.

“It terrifies me,” She begins, already squirming for words as the dark-haired boy watches her intently, eyes begging for more as he smiles encouragingly. “I want more than anything to know what it feels like to be loved, James and it’s ridiculous, but that is utterly terrifying to me,” She mindlessly turns around towards him, other hand drifting to his wrist. “Being loved by you terrifies me,” James can’t hide his confusion, her words stirring an uneasy wave of concern in his stomach.

“Why?” Is all he offers as a question in return, not wanting to seem too eager for an explanation, while also being utterly and completely lost.

“You collect broken things, James,” She explains after a second, James’ brows furrowing as he waits for more. “Remus, Sirius, me. You collect broken things, and you try with all your might to fix them and I’m scared that once you realize that I can’t be fixed, you’ll leave me. I’m scared because I don’t want to be just another broken piece in your collection,” James’ questioning gaze softens completely as he watches her eyes fall away from his again and he releases a slow and shaky sigh.

James knew of Y/n’s family situation. He knew that things were difficult with her father, and he knew that Y/n faced plenty of internal struggles. She tried to please everyone, she searched for constant validation, she quite regularly mistakes being used for being needed and she feared failure like it may very well kill her. He had watched her grow more and more anxious as her father’s mental abuse worsened. He watched parts of her slip away and though he remembered who she was vividly, he cared for her far too much to not embrace every part of who she was now.

“You’re not broken,” James informs her simply, sympathetic to her worries yet not entirely happy with her insinuation that there is something wrong with her.

“But I am, James,” She shakes her head, trying to step away but failing when James keeps her still linked hand in his tight grip. “I am, and maybe you can’t see it yet or maybe you just care too much to accept it, but sometimes I can’t see where I begin and where the symptoms of who he is end. “ She allows him to pull her closer, breath caught in her throat as she bites back the tears that formed in her eyes without her permission.

“I can,” He notes with a tight tone, eyes raking over her features as she releases a soft whimper, a single tear trailing over her cheek. “I know exactly who you are, Y/n and I know that though it may feel like it, you are not broken. “ He reaches forward to delicately cup her cheek, catching the tears that spill from her glossy eyes. “I don’t believe you are, and I don’t believe you need to be fixed, but my love, even if you were broken, I still wouldn’t be anywhere other than right at your side. I’d fill your cracks with melted gold, and I’d never ever let anyone come close enough to shatter you again.”

“James,” She quivers, body trembling lightly under his touch and James moves to pull her into his embrace, but she stops him with a gentle hand on his chest .

“I know,” He almost whispers, eyes searching for hers even though he’s staring directly into them. “I know, you’re afraid,” He takes a step closer, accepting her request not to hug her and settling for being as close to her as possible, mindfully moving his thumb across her wet cheek. “I also know that even if you haven’t said it yet, the thought has crossed your mind...” He observes her breathing out slowly, her hand moving to grip his wrist. “I am not your father, Y/n. I will never do anything that could hurt you the way that he has. Do you believe that? Do you trust me?” His question is met with a gentle nod, her eyes closing as she leans into his hand.

“I trust you,” She voices in a whisper, like she’s reminding herself instead of him. He smiles at her, watching as she carefully removes his hand from her cheek, holding his fingers to place the softest whisper of a kiss on the inside of his palm. “I know you’d never hurt me, James. It’s just difficult.”

“We’ll take it slow,” James offers, nodding when her eyes open, a reluctant smile tugging at her lips as she keeps his hand in her own. “As slow as you want, my love. I just want you to feel safe,” He pauses to look at her, her tears drying as she looks up at him expectantly, mimicking the fragile girl who was standing in his doorway a few minutes ago and he smiles. “I just want you to know what love feels like, Y/n and I’m honored to be the one to show you,” A blush creeps onto her cheeks and James’ is sure she would’ve squirmed away from him by now, but she doesn’t- she doesn’t need to.  

In his collection of broken things, she’s his most prized possession. 

Hi there, more of my work can be found on Wattpad under @mjoubertt. Mxx.

Masterlist

[miraculouscontent]

It’s heeeeere! Another summasalt, this time with nearly twice the length of the first one!

(Turns out that not having caffeine doesn’t help me talk any slower.)

Script below:

Anonymous asked:

Thoughts on Rocketear?

Can you Rocketear the newest episode apart with your salt, my beloved Salt Queen?

Penny for your thoughts on Rocketear?

Aw, anon! You can have that for free! I'm a generous goddess.

"Rocketear" begins with Chat Noir and Carapace - just Carapace, really - holding back a pack of what I presume to be the physical manifestation of the writing staff's age, or at least a representation of how behind the times the writing seems.

Just as the dinosaurs break through Shellter. Ladybug shows up with the scientist who revived the dinosaurs in the first place and said scientist uses a whistle to calm the dinosaurs down. There's also a line from Bob Roth about putting the dinosaurs in a theme park to make money and I know what it's referencing but it's so incredibly random that it doesn't really come off as a proper joke.

Carapace was notably sad right after battle, but insisted that he was fine when Ladybug asked. Rena, sporting a... - I would like to say "new design" but it's a recolor in every sense of the word - is hiding behind part of a building and smiles after the heroes before walking off. Ladybug takes Nino's miraculous back but sees that he's still upset and asks him again what's wrong. Nino asks where Alya was and Ladybug claims that she only needed Carapace for the job, which cheers him up but only until Ladybug is already gone.

Mm, I guess Nino and Adrien relate in heroism not being enough for them unless they have their respective love interest to flirt with.

Also, I know this is an obvious set-up, but the show can't tell me that Ladybug just always brought Nino and Alya whenever she needed one of them. Season 3 required her to go to Master Fu to get the miraculouses, and unless she already knew that Nino and Alya would be in the same location - which, okay, the show does basically shove the two of them together whenever Nino is onscreen, fair, if two characters are in a relationship in this show then it's weird for them to NOT be with that person - but it just seems like a gamble, not to mention proof to Shadow Moth that the two are close if Ladybug constantly brings both of them.

Anyway, Ladybug goes into the sewer and asks Rena if she's seen any sign of Shadow Moth or his traps. Rena didn't see anything and they de-transform. Marinette is about to leave when she thinks of something, but Alya assumes it's about her new look, which was apparently not voluntary on her part and the suit automatically adapted to Alya's new role as Rena Furtive, which she has now named it as.

Marinette reminds her that this is supposed to be a secret and that they agreed that the fox has no owner. When Alya is evasive about whether she told Nino that she won't be Rena anymore, Marinette stresses that everyone needs to believe that Alya won't be using a miraculous anymore so that she can remain an undercover spy.

What's the point in changing the look if you're not going to show yourself anyway? I mean, insurance, I guess, but still.

Alya, exasperated, parrots what Marinette has apparently told her before: that she helps Ladybug with Mirage in case Shadow Moth tries to follow her so Rena can follow him instead. Marinette stresses the situation again and Alya tries to get Marinette to agree on her telling Nino that she's Rena Furtive, but Marinette refuses.

At Marinette's house, Alya talks further and explains that she doesn't know if she can lie to Nino since they don't keep any secrets--Alya, babe, you kept Rena Rouge from him and didn't tell him that you knew he was Carapace until Ladybug was forced to give you your miraculouses at the same time. I don't wanna hear it.

Marinette states that it's too late for that and also not technically a lie, but Alya gets upset and says that Nino will never trust her again if he finds out that she kept something from him. Marinette brings up how she had to keep secrets from Alya too, but they're interrupted by Tom appearing and wanting to play games with them. Marinette makes an excuse about homework that she's repeated many times, as Tom comments that the teachers give her too much. After Tom is kicked out - hang on, lemme just... - Marinette uses the moment to show Alya that she's lied to her family a lot and hasn't played games with her father in months. She states that there's no other option as they have to protect their identities, and Alya agrees to talk to Nino.

In Alya's room - I just presume at this point that Nino's house doesn't exist and Chris is an illusion - Alya tells Nino that they need to talk, but stammers and states that it's hard to talk about. Nino thinks that she wants to break up with him, but Alya assures that she loves him. She finally gets to the cover story that Rena herself made up in "Sentibubbler" and Nino understands, sad that she won't be around anymore but agreeing if it's what Ladybug thinks is best.

Is it weird that Nino respects Ladybug's wishes more than Alya does?

Nino hugs her and is confused by why Alya was nervous to tell him, as she can tell him anything and nothing will change their relationship. Alya feels guilty and hugs back, murmuring about how they don't have any secrets; that's not what Nino said, but sure, push this plot to its already predictable conclusion. I mean, I thought it was vaguely sweet that Nino switched to seriousness immediately when Alya said that she wanted to talk, but how am I supposed to be invested in this couple when their dynamic boils down to "STRONG, INDEPENDANT WOMAN who wears the pants in the relationship because her boyfriend is portrayed as a wimpy coward"? Like, the show constantly dragged Nino down to make Alya look "powerful" by comparison, and then when it comes to characters like Marinette, we get a girl who works very well outside of her relationship with her endgame love interest.

It's the fakest form of "girl power," dragging guys down to raise girls up or actually making a strong girl character but having her love interest be a weakness that creates flaws in her that weren't there originally and having that love interest be who she's "destined for."

I'm rambling, sorry.

In class, Marinette assures Alya that she did the right thing and Alya agrees. As they're leaving school, Marinette talks about how their "night walks" start soon, and Alya non-subtly talks about how Rena Furtive will be on the lookout while Ladybug and Chat Noir patrol. She stops, however, as gets excited about some pictures she took of herself as Rena Furtive, which has a lot of details that Marinette hasn't seen. I don't know whether to groan at what I just heard or remind everyone that Rena Furtive is literally just a recolor and therefore this is the writers patting themselves on the back for this design, so let's just move on.

Alya then shows Marinette her phone--AUGH, MY EYES--and suggests making a poll on her Ladyblog so people can vote for their favorite Rena design. Marinette has to stress again that Rena Furtive is supposed to be a spy and thus invisible, which Alya admits that she forgot about.

Okay, I've been holding off on talking about this, but now seems like the best time to bring it up. Alya has been a trash friend as well as a trash confidant, and her role as Rena Rouge boiled down to, "it was convenient for her to be the fox at the time it was needed." She's not particularly stealthy like one would expect of a fox, and she was easily one of the worst candidates to be told Marinette's big secret. I'll get more into this later, but I have to stress that Alya has treated Marinette no differently since learning of Marinette's identity and has already gone against Marinette's orders once before at the time of this episode airing. Episodes are constantly torn between validating their decision to have Marinette tell Alya, having Marinette be worried about the decision while the show considers her to be ridiculous for it, and then having Alya either consider or make choices that clearly don't gel well with what's good for her role. Much like Marinette, she lacks a sense of self-control and--wow, a female character who's impulsive, never seen that stereotype before.

Point being, "Sentibubbler" stressed over and over that Alya was the right choice and deserved to be both the permanent fox and the understudy for guardian, but then we have "Rocketear" here where Alya is making basic emotionally-driven errors that I'm not even remotely sympathetic to when Marinette has gone through so much worse over the course of three+ seasons.

*sigh*

Alya laments that it's hard to find new content for the Ladyblog - ah, yes, tell me more about your struggles, Alya - but figures that at least she can post stuff about Chat Noir instead of--I don't know--making fake Ladybug theories to lead people off Marinette's trail. Marinette says that it's a great idea, though Alya still doesn't look too happy. The scene then rewinds to a little bit to show a different point of view, this time with Adrien and Nino. Wait, this feels familiar, wasn't there another episode that did something like--ohhhh no, this is going to hurt.

After saying good-bye to Adrien - something I wish I could do every time he's mentioned or on-screen - Nino catches the bit of conversation where Alya talks about the Ladyblog. Nino talks as if Marinette isn't there and asks Alya out to the movies because Marinette is chopped liver and this is about Alya and how sad she is, guys.

Wow, she's turning into Adrien faster and faster.

Alya hesitates, but Marinette assures her that there's still time. Alya excitedly runs off with Nino and they watch what I presume are previews given the narrator, featuring recycled footage from the Ladybug PV. Nino is upset because Rena is mentioned but not Carapace, and the preview features Rena telling Chat Noir to forget Ladybug because it's Chat and Rena herself who are trulu made for each other.

I don't know what's funnier; the complete lack of self-awareness or the suggestion that a biracial couple would exist in this show outside of a special that gives them maybe a minute of screentime and acts more like suggestive canon anyway. I think I might've been too generous with that line about dinosaurs.

Nino is offended by the preview and Alya brushes off his comments, stating that it's just a cartoon and it's made to entertain people, though Nino himself is certainly not entertained. Can't say I entirely blame him considering that Alya doesn't really try to say anything substantial or even agree with him. No cuddling or reassuring kisses, she just gets slightly sad and turns to her phone for a bit.

After the movie, Nino is cheered back up again until he catches Alya on her phone once more. He offers to take her home, but she's distracted, and he comments that what she showed to Marinette looked pretty nice; I don't know because they didn't show it. Nino asks what it was and Alya evades the question, stating that her battery is running out. Nino is suspicious, but spots Andre's ice cream cart and the two head over there. Andre calls them his favorite couple and asks what they want, but Alya sees Ladybug gesturing for her and has to run off, giving Nino a cheek kiss as she goes which feels like too little too late at this point.

Nino catches some conveniently-placed kids arguing over who Chat Noir loves, but they settle on the fact that girls in general love Chat Noir. Nino is then seen at the Seine watching the Ladyblog's latest video, where Alya is talking up how amazing Chat Noir is. I hate to stop every five seconds to complain - okay, actually I don't - but I presume this video must've been made after the movie since Nino seems like the type who would actively follow his girlfriend's blog, yet not only is this video perfectly set up to echo the kids and the movie preview, but Alya - despite apparently caring about her boyfriend soooo much that she kept trying to convince Marinette to bend the rules - didn't even try to warn Nino or text him so he doesn't take it too seriously. It's like "Sentibubbler" with the conflicting messages about identity rules; Alya cares about her boyfriend but both isn't thinking about how he'll take the things she says and apparently doesn't know him well enough to realize that he wouldn't be mad over her keeping a secret that she was told to keep. I already talked about how they play up Nino to be the emotionally weaker one of the relationship, but then they don't have Alya try to cover or make up for that. She's been acting very much not like Alya - you know, the one who in "Sapotis" practically bragged about how great she'd be at covering for Ladybug - with her stutters and weak excuses, so I can't completely blame Nino for being upset after everything that's happened when he sees the writers projecting onto Alya as she talks about how Chat Noir is brave and funny and cute and showing all these images of him as well. I don't agree with all of his actions, but--oh yeah, speaking of which--

Nino calls Adrien and is talking to him about how Alya must be in love with someone else. Adrien dismisses the idea, as Alya and Nino are together basically all the time, and asks who she could possibly be in love with. When Nino suggests that it's Chat Noir, Adrien laughs and jokes about it being Fang instead. Nino points out the video but Adrien did see it but is overall unphased and convinced that it means nothing. Nino says that he'll find proof and hangs up, but Adrien is certain he'll find nothing. Plagg comments that Nino will find someone because Plagg's charisma has definitely contaminated Adrien.

Ugh.

Adrien expresses concern that he put on the cat's charm too much and accidentally made Alya fall for him, and decides to visit Alya as Chat Noir to be sure.

Meanwhile, we get a reference to film noirs as Nino narrates. That's the second blatant reference this episode and now I feel like they wrote this script while doing a movie marathon.

Chat Noir arrives at Alya's house and Trixx hides before Alya opens the curtains to reveal her surprise guest. Nino is nearby watching the scene with his phone as Alya wonders aloud if something's wrong. Chat assures that everything's fine, but brings up the video she posted. He insists that it made him happy, but points out that she's been following him and Ladybug since the beginning and that they know each other much better due to everything that's happened. He has some conveniently-worded dialog as he starts to say that he hopes something's just an illusion and Alya gets worried that he's about to bring up Rena. Chat continues and clarifies that he wonders if she started to feel something for him, though adds that he understands because just look at him.

UGGGGH.

Chat clarifies by making a heart with his hands, which Nino sees. Alya laughs at this gesture and states that she has a boyfriend, doing the same heart gesture and suggesting that her love for Nino is even more than that. Chat Noir apologizes - hm, I didn't know he had the capacity to do that - and hugs Alya, saying that he was just confused.

An absolutely unnecessary hug for two people who, at least in terms of their current selves, have had very little screentime together, but this is also the show where making eye contact basically means your friends and it's all just to push the plot along so Nino inteprets that Alya is in love with Chat Noir, so whatever I guess.

Alya states that Nino is far more irresistable than Chat, then adds that she doesn't even know his secret identity, and she'd never fall in love with someone she doesn't know. Nino then runs away upset and the scene cuts away to the next day where--

Wait, wait, wait, hang on a second. Two things right off the bat there.

First off, we're just gonna sidle past that "wouldn't fall in love with someone you don't know the identity of" while ignoring the existence of the love square? Not even Chat thinking about how he doesn't know Ladybug's identity and trying to excuse that he doesn't have to? This guy is that certain of their relationship?

Secondly, Nino is practically sobbing and Shadow Moth doesn't take this as his opportunity? Same guy who akumatized Mr. Pigeon 72 times and has akumatized Gigantitan more than once? What is this pacing???

But--alright, so Adrien comes into school and sees Nino, still dressed up in his detective gear, which gets ignored completely as Adrien goes to tell him about Chat Noir and Alya. Because the show doesn't know how Adrien would convey this within reason, Nino interrupts him, taking him down into the lower part of the school where he has a desk and chairs set up. Adrien goes to ask when Nino had time to do this, but Nino slams his hand on the desk to cut him off. Nino presents the evidence he took and they go back and forth, likewise with Adrien turning off the background music while Nino turns it back on. Adrien insists that it's a misunderstanding, but pleads innocent when Nino asks how he knows. Adrien states that Alya is just a superhero fan and that she and Chat Noir have nothing in common.

Again, the complete lack of self-awareness is astonishing.

Adrien repeats what Alya said about secret identities and how she wouldn't fall for someone she doesn't know - they're really ignoring this, aren't they? - and continues hitting Nino's soft spots about how unlikely it is until Nino decides to tell Adrien something he's not supposed to.

He tells Adrien, not only that Alya is Rena Rouge, but that he's Carapace. Adrien goes through a range of emotions beyond sAD for once, shocked at the fact that they know each other's identities. Nino states that they don't keep secrets from each other, except now Alya is with Chat Noir. Adrien still doesn't understand and brings up how secret identities have to be protected, or else Nino wouldn't have told him because Ladybug wouldn't agree to it.

Oh, here we go. So that's why they waited.

Nino states that it was Ladybug herself who gave them their miraculouses at the same time; not giving the reason why, of course, nor pointing out that they're temporary heroes so there's understandably some leeway. Adrien is having a moment, but manages to bring the subject back to Alya and Chat Noir, who he still doesn't think are a thing. Nino argues that it's because Adrien doesn't know Chat Noir, but he does because he's Carapace and knows how Chat Noir acts. He says that it's all flowers and confessions when Ladybug appears, but he gets rejected because Ladybug thinks that he's annoying, and she's right. He adds that Chat flirts with Rena Rouge and that's all that needs to happen, with Chat stepping in on the first mission Carapace lost in. Nino laments the loss of the love of his life and wishes to shut Chat Noir up forever; we all do, Nino, we all do. Shadow Moth finally steps in with - oh, less than eight minutes left in the episode, yikes - and Nino is akumatized into Rocketear.

Rocketear rejects Adrien's pleas to stop, insisting that Chat Noir is who he's after, not Adrien, and Adrien transforms in sad fashion despite Plagg's reminder of who Rocketear is after. Alya, meanwhile, is in the art club with Marinette - wait, since when was Alya in the art club - telling Marinette about how Chat Noir thought she was into him due to the video, which Marinette groans at. There's an earthquake and they peek outside to see Rocketear firing his tears at Chat Noir, shouting that he stole Alya from him. Chat Noir tries to tell him otherwise, but Rocketear won't listen.

Alya groans at Nino doing this, then she and Marinette set off to find a place to transform. They conveniently go to the same place Adrien and Nino were, so they see the desk that Nino had set up.

Genuine question, how seriously does this episode want me to take itself, because now when I recount all the unnecessary love square drama in my head - because you know that's where this is going - I'm going to have to think, "Nino, dressed in a detective outfit, ripped off his fake mustache and told Adrien both his and Rena's identities, and also that Ladybug was totally cool with it and thinks that Chat Noir is annoying."

Gettin' two completely different vibes here. The episode clearly wants to be important but it doesn't take itself seriously either, which it totally could while including enough jokes to keep things light. Instead, I'm just left scratching my head and wondering what tone they're going for.

Marinette finds Nino's phone on the desk - I'm calling continuity error on that one because he at no point put it on the desk, at least not on-screen - and she questions Alya on the video she sees. Alya insists that nothing happened, apparently completely unphased by her boyfriend having spied on her, and says that he wouldn't have misunderstood if he'd heard the actual conversation.

The two transform and Ladybug immediately uses Lucky Charm, receiving a projector. Ladybug is clueless and Rena Furtive suggests creating an imaginary movie like Nino. Ladybug gets an idea, remembering Alya's earlier comments, and Rena confirms that she remembers every word of it.

Aaaaand, just like that, all of the tension has been completely sucked away. You know, "Backwarder" was a trash episode, but at least when Ladybug was showing every step of her plan, she didn't tell us what it was.

Meanwhile, Rocketear and Chat Noir are still arguing--I started zoning out at hearing the same thing over and over again at this point, so I just presume they were fighting over who does stuff behind their love interest's backs better; I don't think they came to an agreement but they're both losers anyway.

Chat Noir says that he'll prove his innocence, tossing his baton aside to show him giving up, but Rocketear points out that it proves nothing and strikes Chat Noir with his tears.

Our endgame love interest, everyone. Straight As yet about as smart as a sack of bricks, and that at least won't flirt with anyone non-consensually.

Chat Noir makes a point that he doesn't want to hurt Rocketear, and Shadow Moth tells Rocketear to take his miraculous before finishing him. Chat Noir can only weakly tell him not to before Ladybug snags Rocketear's wrist and diverts the shot. Ladybug explains to Rocketear about the projector and how it'll let him hear the audio of the recording he took. She adds that she doesn't know what Chat said, but she trusts him.

Marinette, I'm sorry, I feel so bad for you.

Ladybug turns on the projector and Rocketear relaxes at actually hearing what was going on. Rena then de-transforms and hurries out to meet with Rocketear, hugging him as Rocketear apologizes for doubting her. Alya also kinda sorta apologizes in a way I don't understand and Rocketear then breaks his akumatization, very casually, all on his own.

Yeah, just--casually, in a matter of seconds in fact. You know, it's really sad when people resisting akumatizations are more tense and emotionally compelling than them breaking them. This is twice in one season now and has zero impact considering that Nino's reason for being akumatized was already taken care of so he had no reason to stay akumatized anyway. Him breaking his own object to release the akuma would've at least been different, but instead it's just a repeat of what Alya went through with even less tension considering that Alya's wasn't even that good in the first place, relying on her relationship to Ladybug rather than who she knew to be her best friend.

Moving on, Ladybug captures the akuma and uses Miraculous Ladybug to bring everything back to normal. Shadow Moth monologues about how love and secrets don't go well together and he's sure that she has a lot and I'll talk about this later.

Ladybug hands over the magical charm, which Nino takes but insists that he won't need it, as he'll never let Shadow Moth use his love to manipulate him again. Plenty of other things to get akumatized over, but they gave the supposedly ace character a robot to help him stick out and also gave the supposedly aro character a miraculous back in season one to give her more importance. If characters aren't in love then they need something to ceompensate for it.

Nino apologizes to Chat Noir for being wrong and Chat Noir assures him that everyone has doubts, even him. He gets sad and Ladybug asks him what's wrong, but he insists that he's fine - officially throwing away his right to be upset at her later as far as I'm concerned - and they do their usual fist buuuuu--

...Really?

Everyone then splits up and Chat Noir sulks by himself instead of--you know, talking to Ladybug, or asking her anything, or making any sort of excuse for her because that would mean he actually has faith in her and understands that their partnership is different from temporary heroes, even if the excuse was as basic as her wanting to protect him more than the others because he would be that egotistical if they didn't want to stretch out this unnecessary drama.

Later on, Adrien is staring at a picture on the Ladyblog that might be a metaphor for the show considering how "in the foreground" Chat Noir and Rena are.

Adrien vents about Ladybug giving miraculouses to Alya and Nino, but Plagg states that she's the guardian. Adrien clarifies that he's referring to Alya and Nino knowing each other's identities, but Plagg doesn't see the issue. Adrien gets huffy and asks why the rule exists for LadyNoir but not Ninya, but Plagg again points out that she's the guardian, so she makes the rules, though obviously he uses cheese metaphors to convey it.

Okay, Plagg is only, like--half-right because he doesn't have all the information. If you don't mind me rambling for a bit, I'm on the fence here because, on one hand--yes, I agree that Marinette should be allowed to make her own rules, and I often do that in my writing because I think she should be permitted leeway in order to let herself be happy, but on the other hand, it's not technically her rule, as she had to let Alya and Nino in on their identities back in the Season 2 finale, so Fu was still around for a season. She wasn't even guardian yet!

Now, presumably so the fandom could blame Marinette if anything happened, Marinette never discussed this with Fu on-screen, so I can't say whether or not Fu knew, but I feel like he must've since Marinette had to have told him the heroes' identities off-screen, given "Party Crasher," and thus I imagine that Marinette would tell Fu everything that happened, which is consistent with what she does on-screen even if she'd keep things from him for a little while.

"Furious Fu" had also established that not even Master Fu followed rules completely, meaning that Marinette is in this awkward spot of mostly following what Fu taught her, which aren't all guardian rules anyway, and having to break the rules on occasion for various purposes. I can't say what Fu approved of and what he didn't, because episodes spend so much time on the love square that they forget about Marinette as a person and how she interacts with everyone else. From an emotional standpoint, I can't blame Marinette for not revoking the miraculouses of people whose identities get discovered because of her, as I imagine she feels guilty and it probably doesn't seem fair to force them into another miraculous or have them be entirely without one because of a mistake that she made, meaning that someone needs to be throwing a lot of red flags for Marinette to be through with them.

Though obviously, from the show's standpoint, it's just an excuse to not make new models, but I complained about that enough in "Sentibubbler" and this episode even went out of its way to design a detective model for Nino while spraypainting Alya's bodysuit in the same breath, so this is the world we live in.

Anyway, Marinette is essentially in this position where she still has Fu's rules hovering over her, but she's also trying to step out on her own and make her own decisions to varying degrees of success or failure depending on your point of view. Tikki--wait, no, bad idea--Su-Han then, could easily give input on these things, perhaps with Marinette discussing a modern day set of rules for someone her age and going back and forth with Su-Han on what the right choices to make are, finding something that's comfortable but within a realm of predictable control. Su-Han was okay with some rules being broken after seeing how Ladybug handled them and they could've easily made this episode about that instead, but instead, we get rules being set and then being broken on a writer's whim.

Which now brings us to the end of the episode, where Marinette is on the phone with Alya and apologizes for causing trouble between her and Nino. Alya tells her not to worry and she'll fix things - you know, those things that, to Marinette's knowledge, have already been fixed - and asks if Marinette trusts her. Marinette does, and Alya hangs up in order to face Nino.

Yeah, that feeling of dread in your stomach? That means you know how predictable the writing is and what's about to happen, good for you.

Alya explains that she has to tell Nino something and he's worried, this time trying to sheepishly break the tension. She explains that she's still Rena Rouge, much to Nino's shock, and adds that she's in hiding, which is why Ladybug didn't want her to tell anyone. Nino asks why she's telling him if she's not supposed to tell anyone - proving my point from a while back that he wouldn't have been upset had she kept it a secret - then asks if Ladybug agreed with it.

I want to give him a pat on the back for considering Ladybug, but he didn't even tell her when he had the chance that Adrien knows his identity now, so I'm just beaten down at this point.

Instead of answering the question directly, Alya says that she can't hide her identity from him because she loves him and they don't have secrets.

You know, like Nino telling Adrien about Rena's identity, or Alya saying specifically that she's a permanent holder, which I'm sure both of them will confess to since they said that they don't have--aaaaand the episode ends on happy triumphant music, okay.

I mean, I guess Alya at least didn't tell him that Marinette was Ladybug, but that is such a low bar and not even remotely worthy of congratulations when Alya told Nino the specific thing that Marinette told Alya not to tell; the thing that they had agreed on.

Nino wasn't upset anymore. He won't be getting akumatized either. Alya endured the supposed hardship of being a permanent fox holder for four episodes before breaking down and telling her boyfriend. Even her excuse doesn't hold any water because, again, they're both still technically keeping a secret, particularly Alya who knows Marinette's identity as Ladybug. The episode also apparently forgets that Alya and Marinette's friendship must not be as strong by her logic of telling Nino specifically everything, as Alya kept Rena Rouge a secret from Marinette for all of Season 3, but tells Nino about continuing to be Rena Rouge in Season 4. Boyfriends before BFFs without explicitly saying it, or to be more specific, whatever screws Marinette over the most, because that's what this comes down to, made worse by "Optigami" where Marinette told Alya that she'd tell her everything and I guess that doesn't go both ways.

"Sentibubbler" had Alya stress that no one would ever know. She promised Marinette and told Marinette to trust her, and the episode spent its entire running time talking her up and assuring Marinette that she was the right choice, even considering Marinette ridiculous for worrying when Alya had done something without Marinette's permission the episode right before it. Then, three episodes after "Sentibubbler," when Marinette is finally comfortable and trusts Alya completely, Alya betrays that trust. Nino betrayed that trust, knowing he wasn't supposed to do so but telling Adrien his and Rena's identity anyway, because he was losing an argument and needed to PROVE something.

Marinette gives them an inch and they take a mile. Marinette bent the rules so that they could continue to have the miraculous they'd started with and they disrespected her because it was hard for like a day.

And if this bites them back, it won't reflect poorly on them, it'll reflect poorly on Marinette.

It's not like Alya just overrode Marinette. She didn't go, "Hey, I'm telling Nino, I'm sorry," or tried her hardest to go back and forth with Marinette until they both agreed. No, she did what she told Marinette she wouldn't do without saying a word to her, because LOVE and SEEEECRETS.

And this only applies to her, of course, because don't think I didn't notice the parallels between this episode and "Truth," because WOW.

Episode begins with Marinette hoping for something and it blows up in her face? A date at the cinema that ends on a sour note? Plot-centric couple trying to get Andre's ice cream and the female with a secret needing to leave in a hurry? Boyfriend character getting akumatized over their girlfriend's secret? Boyfriend assumes/suggests that the girlfriend's secret involves Aaaaaadrien - or his alter-ego in "Rocketear"'s case - and the episode hints as much to him even though he's completely wrong? Akuma's colors are blue and black? THE BRIDGE?

But, ahhh, little difference, here and there, y'know, like how Marinette was forced to break up with her boyfriend while Alya got to keep hers, and Nino got to have long talks with Alya while Luka got little to nothing with Marinette.

Because do note that Alya, while trying to convince Marinette and talk to Nino about not keeping secrets, at no point suggests that Marinette deserves to be happy and deserves to have a boyfriend and that Marinette should be allowed to tell Luka her secret so they can get back together, so you have Alya here selfishly prioritizing her relationship with Nino while making no comment about Marinette's relationship, essentially asking Marinette to allow her what Marinette herself didn't have the luxury of, and Alya knows this because Marinette told her. It is both incredibly insensitive of Alya and incredibly insulting of the show to make so many parallels between this episode and "Truth" just to have everything crash down for Marinette because she's Marinette while everything goes well for Alya and Nino because they're not Marinette.

We've talked before about the formulas that are literally baked into the show, and one of those is how Marinette makes a mistake in every episode and has to learn from it. What that mistake is in this episode, I don't know, but considering that she apologizes for Alya and Nino's problems, I guess the show blames her for what they themselves had taught her.

Point being, there's a clear karma system in place, but it only applies to Marinette, and forcing her to mess up in every episode means that she is literally not allowed to be with Luka because had she been able to clear things up between them, he would've eagerly accepted her and they could've been happy. It'd be too difficult for her to mess up when Luka doesn't put mountains of pressure and expectations on her like everyone else. Factor that in with how she can be herself around him and it leads to situation that are too difficult for her to screw up in because her mistakes - more often than not - center around Adrien or her role as guardian.

And because another rule in the show is to bring up Adrien so they don't "lose him for too long," she can't avoid bringing him up either. If he's not in the plot, he has to be mentioned, leaving Marinette in a lose-lose situation that she'll never be free from.

So, let me just get this straight then:

The guy who spied on his girlfriend instead of talking to her about his assumptions gets to keep his girlfriend, not because he realized it was wrong regardless of whether he was correct or not, but because the situation had been cleared up for him, yet the guy who actively resisted his akumatization, saddened by his girlfriend's secrets but wanting her to share them when she was ready, gets broken up with and tossed to the wayside because he's not a rich blond boy who got a miraculous because he happened to be within the twenty meters of space where Fu was searching for new holders?

Meanwhile, the girlfriend who has gone against the wishes and insistence of her best friend - guardian of the miraculouses, by the way, so she calls the shots, something that Alya herself said in "Optigami" BEFORE GOING ON TO DO HER OWN THING IN THE SAME EPISODE AND BEING REWARDED FOR IT - is allowed to go against the wishes and insistence of her best friend again for the sake of "all love, no secrets" with her boyfriend and so she can have the happy ending she wants, yet the girl who was chosen for a miraculous without her consent, forced to screw up and talk about a random boy who doesn't even go out of his way to spend time with her, treated like absolute trash by writers who find humor in her misery, and is the only one to receive overly harsh and long-lasting consequences for her actions while also covering up and forgiving the actions of others within the episode where they do it...

doesn't get her happy ending, and won't ever get her happy ending. That thing Shadow Moth said about love and secrets not going well together? Yeah, only goes as far as the writers want it to, because both Nino and Alya still have secrets, and some of the ones they did tell each other were forced by someone else and kept until that very moment. This idea that people in love have to tell each other everything and that it makes a relationship stronger makes me immensely uncomfortable, and that lesson is also in "Guiltrip."

People should be allowed their secrets, and obviously there are exceptions for things that are being hidden with malicious intent, but being essentially forced to share everything or risk not having a "full and complete" relationship is stifling and sounds like it'd only cause stress.

This episode sucks. It furthers and confirms everything I've already thought about the show, Nino's screentime continues to be dependent on Adrien, Alya, or both, there are pointless references that completely take me out of the experience, and the utter betrayal from Alya and supposed message of the episode just reminds me that Marinette is inevitably going to be stuck with a guy who didn't even DO anything in this episode and is going to let himself stew instead of asking for any sort of clarifications from someone he apparently trusts so much.

So the takeaway is that Marinette's life is awful, she'll be forced to apologize for rules that she didn't even come up with herself, her best friend will walk all over her for the sake of her relationship with a guy - not even for the sake, really, they were going to be fine, it was more for HER personal comfort if anything - and the guy who actually makes Marinette happy and could've known her identity instead BECAUSE HE AT LEAST DIDN'T HAVE A TRACK RECORD OF SPILLING HER SECRETS gets treated in the exact same way that she does; like nothing, just something to abuse unfairly.

What a waste of an episode.

[timextoxhajima]

The Boyz as things and feelings (just cause)

this is a small thing @haechanhues​ needed help with so i decided to make it an actual post uwu [this is gonna be pretty long cause i might write little scenarios]

[THE BOYZ AS THINGS AND FEELINGS]

SANGYEON - MIRRORS AND PILLOWS

mirrors make a place look bigger than it really is - i feel like sangyeon has that ability to make you feel like you’re more important on your worst days

the things he’ll do just to make sure you’re alright, even when he knows you’re not

he also has the ability to reflect what you need: sad? he’ll come and hug you and let you cry or talk about your shitty day. happy? he’ll joke about the way you snort while laughing then he’d probably do something dumb to keep the energy up there

mirrors also feel very private and at-home, and that exactly how i feel he curates an environment

pillows are self-explanatory ig, smth to cry into, smth to fall asleep with while hugging, has the best homely scents ever, very comfortable

i imagine going home after a long day and finding your partner also tired, but he’s cooking or like in the couch watching tv and he just invites you into his arms uwu

“tell me about everything! whatever that makes you happy or sad and i’ll try my best to be who you need at that point of time!”

JACOB - FLOWERS AND MUSIC

ok like jacob with a guitar is just a stellar sight to behold, he looks like he was born to hold one, and his vocals are super underrated imo, most of tbz’s discography doesnt really suit his voice - i really wish he had a chance to have more lines in more ballads or maybe even a solo thing

he would drag you out to go on walks after he knows you’ve buried yourself in your work the whole day, and he’d be the kind to stop at a pretty flower and contemplate plucking it but he wouldn’t cause he’s a fairy and wouldn’t hurt a fly, much less a pretty flower

would probably play a piece in the background while you’re stressed w work and hum a tune so the singing wouldn’t distract you

would stop when he notices you stopped working and your sad ass is probably crying lmao

he’s a very soft and gentle man imo

he’s the innocent daisy amidst other bright colored, flamboyant flowers but he still stands out

“i’ll grow you a rose bush in the yard so i don’t have to be sad about plucking flowers next time.”

YOUNGHOON - WINTER COATS AND COFFEE AND PASTRIES

he definitely radiates tsundere vibes on first sight, but when you get to know him, he’s obviously the opposite: a crybaby

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t keep up his model-like appearances when he’s outside - in fact, he’d be the one to influence you into caring more about how you look (of course not materialistically, but more into actually caring about making yourself feel good with your fashion and appearance)

i chose winter coats as a symbol of coverage - he doesn’t show much of himself unless he’s close to you (like when you wear winter coats to keep warm, he’s a burrito because he doesn’t bother too much about sharing his feelings), but when he does, it feels like he has the ability to keep you warm and comfortable, even on the coldest days, even if his inner savage comes out

it’ll be like he scooped you into his coat and has you warm in one of this inner breast pockets

i see him as the kind to get regular coffee and like, a tart or something, at a cafe. it adds on to the warmth, when he remembers what you like. the details. maybe you like your coffee with cinnamon or less sugar or something, but then he tops it up with a muffin and he knows you like it heated up so he specifically asks for them to do so

ok but he’s defo the kind of guy that catches people’s attention at public spaces so every now and then when he’s laughing or smiling, some girl would gawk at him and he would be embarrassed about it, but lucky for you, you’re already wearing matching coats so they know the man’s taken uwu

“if only they knew how long it took to convince you to wear that coat.”

HYUNJAE - CONCERTS AND CONVENIENCE STORE DATES

classy but calm. dream-like but realistic. 

i say concerts as in the instrumental, ballad kinds. he loves it and he knows you probably need the sleep where you have that kind of background white noise/music that provides you the best quality of sleep there is. but when you’re not dosing off, he’s admiring how much time you’re willing to invest into being at something he loves

of course, in turn, he doesn’t complain much when you’re hungry and you meet him down the street at the nearest convenience store for some instant noodles and potato chips with a coke and he lets you ramble about your day 

he would probably buy you an ice cream just so you’d feel better, then regret it when you get a stomachache later cause it was like 2am in the morning

you probably have like 5 of his hoodies at home that you refuse to wash cause his scent is tainted all over it and the only time he gets to take them home is when he stays over or visits and he sneaks one into his bag when you’re in the kitchen making tea or a bowl of noodles

then you’ll get it back without even knowing it was gone

the kind that would probably surprise you after a day of work with a casual date idea to the movies, and i mean showing up at your place, impromptu, after he knows you’re home with two tickets 

“act like my girlfriend for once and go on a date with me, would you? your work isn’t going to be there with you when you die at 90.”

JUYEON - STARGAZING AND VR GAMES

as dumb and sometimes bimbotic as he seems he is, he’s gotten most of the visible constellations memorised and he would not hesitate from telling you all about his childhood with his family when they would travel and try to spot every single constellation they can remember

which brings me to the point where he remembers what you like, but... backhandedly. he doesn’t remember what you like but he remembers what you hate instead, so you don’t ever have to worry about getting that licorice flavoured jelly bean

he would offer a midnight walk to help you relieve your stress, cause he knows you just like seeing the nightsky amidst the peace and quiet while he rambles on for his own satisfaction. not everything has to be so emotionally attached and shared. you can share blissful moments without being the reason for each other’s and that’s totally fine.

juyeon is kind of a scaredy cat in the sense that he isn’t really into horror movies or games but he’s always had that dream to become a pilot and so for his birthday, you brought him to a vr game arcade where he played some plane simulator and ever since, you’ve been taking turns to surprise each other with a new vr arcade spot or adding on to the vr game console set you have at home

“maybe i should digitalise you so i can see you in the vr game”

KEVIN - KARAOKE SESSIONS AND NEON LIGHTS

the best-friend kind of partner you would come across once in a lifetime

a billion film shots of you after he drags you to the karaoke and he beats you at super intense songs like the bohemian rhapsody just cause he can hit those high notes and solely because he was screaming on the floor when he did it

almost left his film camera behind 

absolutely LOVES those walks along streets where there are a million neon lights

would come across that one sus neon light signs that indicate a sex toy store and he would give you that sly smile and probably joke for you to go in 

kevin has a moon neon light in his room and you have a star or something (whatever you want)

corrects your grammar and pronunciation, only for you two to bicker about it even more when you use google translation and there are different pronunciations depending on where/what accent you’re using

he really is your light in the dark, even if he’s known to be introverted. once he’s comfortable enough with you, he makes you feel like the most important person in the world

has one of those portable speaker microphones at home and he drones on and on and on with some billie eilish song until you hurl a pillow at him

“so you’re the tough girl, like it really rough girl, justcan’tgetenoughofkevingirl, chest always so puffed girl”

CHANHEE - DUETS AND STRAWBERRY PICKING

(i could not find a more candid, softer aesthetic pic for chanhee rip)

his entire wardrobe fits you - the only problem is that he’ll never let you wear it in fear that you’d stain or tear something

shared playlists because that’s how similar your taste in music is, and so sometimes when you have your earpiece in and you’re humming the melody of that song, chanhee picks it up immediately despite not hearing that song, and ends up harmonising with you

got kicked out of the library once or twice because it was exam period and the two of you won’t shut up

ironically doesn’t sing that much if you’re not around

chanhee is a true blue introvert - which is a miracle that you’ve managed to tear through that barrier of his and find out that he giggles at every stupid thing you do: he’s having a bad day? trip over the pavement. he’ll laugh. it works

dragging him out to go strawberry picking was so difficult - but of course chanhee isn’t safe from how beautiful and enticing the fresh fruits were.

didn’t touch anything strawberry flavoured OR any strawberries for the next month or so

his straightforwardness comes with the breakdown of his barrier - but that’s what brings you comfort. he will never lie, he will only be sarcastic and even then, you’d know it’s true

i used duets as a symbol of harmony and being in-sync, though never really exactly the same, and that’s how it is with chanhee. your thoughts are very similar even though he’s much more introverted than you, but that’s what binds you 

“i’m gonna tell the librarian i don’t know you if we get kicked out again.”

CHANGMIN - CITY TOURS AND MATCHING OUTFITS

city tours - the kind that you already know inside out and yet you STILL travel the area as if you were a tourist 

that’s exactly how it is with changmin: you know him inside out, after being friends for so long, but it never gets old

you’re used to him biting your hand out of nowhere and yet it startles you all the time. that stupid chucky doll in his living room? old, but it never fails to scare you

he doesn’t ever talk about it that much, but he loves it when you co-ordinate outfits

no, it doesn’t mean you wear couple tees, but it’s aesthetically pleasing to changmin that if he wears cool tones, you would too

he’d be reserved about his thoughts and feelings sometimes but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t think or feel them

there’s a strange sense of familiarity with changmin, because you kind of know what to expect but then you’re never disappointed, you know?

“i got you this white pigeon cause it looks like the one i already got... you can give it back to me if you don’t like it though-” /he takes it before you can accept it/

HAKNYEON - STAND UP COMEDY SHOWS AND RUNNING ALONG THE BEACH

there’s something about ju that makes it very casual and easy-going

he hates horror genred themes so fuck that, he would queue online just for the latest ali wong comedy show, even if it’s an online show, and he would laugh until he cried

sometimes he’s a drama queen but that makes it alot easier for you to know what he’s thinking or feeling - it makes communication alot easier

that means a lack of arguments

he’s also very empathetic but straightforward, exactly like how comedy shows are - because they are relatable, they are funny because they bring out the irony and sarcasm and all the dumb things in life that people are sometimes afraid of talking about and hak just says whatever he wants to say, even if he knows it might be hurtful or upsetting

he prioritises truth and honesty over anything else

it makes you a better person, honestly

beach walks - very calming, very liberating. he lets you yell and scream and kick sand back into the water because you can, and he does it with you

tries to teach you how to skip rocks but you suck and you can’t so he just pulls you away from the pile of rocks you amassed

“flick your wrist like that, not like you’re meowing!”

SUNWOO - SOCCER FRIENDLIES AND STUDIO SESSIONS

he will NOT go easy on you in a friendly match: you might be one of the fastest players of the female team but he’s ruthless in his ball-stealing, so even if you were fast enough to keep the ball out of his reach, he’d still be able to snatch it right out between your feet

very, very competitive and does not like to lose

you would always play the ‘ladies first’ card but then he’d throw the ‘feminism’ card back at you 

sometimes you act more like siblings than anything else 

the only time when he isn’t fuming with competition is if you’re injured because he accidentally tackled you - he’ll gracefully give himself a yellow card before absolutely trashing you in the next match

has one foot into the production game recently - likes to play with the beat board and mixing tunes, and since you’ve had your hand in doing music remixes for a deejay job before, you’re there to identify which songs have the same bass line or beat counts for easier mixing

would make you a playlist of remixes but wouldn’t admit that he spent a whole day in the studio without you just so it would be a surprise

a soft boy stuck in the wraps of an egoistic man

“a day? please. i illegally downloaded half these remixes off the internet cause i’d think you’re too internet-dumb to find them.”

ERIC - BAKING AND SKATEBOARDING

full of impromptu, casual ideas to hang out 

baking is a fucking mess - why did he suggest it when he doesn’t even have the right ingredients?

wanted to replace eggs with water - like ok thats supposedly healthier, but why????????????

he likes cleaning so that was the only fucking bonus in baking - had to call his mom for help halfway through because the cookies looked more like goop than playdough

gave up in the end and he repaid his debt by helping clean your kitchen

tried to teach you how to skateboard, but he ended up falling off his own in the process and now he’s got a grazed knee 

the kind of person you’d have so much chaotic fun with, he’s that friend your mom told you to NOT hang out with that much if not you’d get run down by a car 

has the most fucking random pieces of clothing in his wardrobe, like where did he even get that pink coat from?

“no you have to do this and like lift up your leg and then kinda rest your weight on it before flicking your ankle and like- whOA- OH OW OHNO OHOHOH OW”

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Request: Grief Always Lifts (Volturi x Reader)

You didn't expect to be sent away from the Cullen's. You were quickly chastised, never to look at it as being sent away, rather putting you in the care of someone else for your benefit. Losing a parent was never easy and it didn't need to be said that you were struggling. You went on day by day, the simple mundane things reminding you of your father and in turn, your loss. Carlisle and Esme thought it best you had a break from America. Somewhere new to really work through your emotions. The last place you thought they'd send you is to the Volturi. 

Sure, Italy was nothing like you were used to but the coven they said would care for you isn't entirely the caring type. You weren't even sure as to what made them agree to having you in their care but you had no doubt Aro probably latched onto the possibility of rekindling his friendship with Carlisle. Regardless, you agreed. A symptom of your grief that they had noticed. You weren't entirely present, agreeing to be convenient and not having a particular want for anything. Carlisle and Esme insisted that if you weren't comfortable, you didn't have to go but you left reassuring them you'd be fine. 

Marcus recognised the look in your eyes, beyond the exhaustion and blank stare your emotions were loud and clear to him. You felt so much pain that with some irony, you looked to be dead. As though the loss had killed you. However such a statement couldn't be further from the truth. You were very much alive, nearly drowning in whatever was going on in your mind. 

The three leaders welcomed you and made sure you knew the higher ranking guards names. Anyone you came across was introduced. Many matching your own blank expression take away the exhaustion that hung over you like a blanket since a few days after your fathers funeral. 

Demetri and Felix were the ones who took you to your room. You took in the room before turning to the two guards. "Thank you for all of your help." Your voice was as monotone as the minute you had arrived. Although your facial expressions were at bare minimum. You didn't blink very much and it gave off the illusion that your face was trying and very much failing to emote and keep up with your words. Demetri nodded once and the two took their leave, letting you settle in. 

"They look like they haven't slept in days." Felix said quietly. "Apparently they have been sleeping, that's just how they are currently." Demetri responded. Felix looked perplexed. "They were sent to us for a reason Felix. The Cullen's wouldn't have asked us if they weren't desperate." Demetri said. "Sure, it's just odd to see them so lifeless." Felix replied. Demetri nodded. "Seeing them like this in comparison to how we last saw them is very strange. Even the twins seemed to be caught off guard." 

"Is the room to your liking?" You looked over your shoulder to see Caius approaching you. "It's great." You responded. "Thank you so much, I don't think I've ever stayed somewhere to extravagant before." Caius cracked a smile. "We have expensive tastes here. I imagine that isn't the only thing you have noticed though." "You're right. The decor isn't exactly modern yet you still have the random TV, electricity and such. I think what I'm trying to say is that it's a perfect combination of old decor and convenient modern day technology." Caius hummed. "That is good. I can't say many of us use most of the modern equipment, although it has its uses every now and then. Such as warm water for you." It was your turn to crack a smile. It was nice they remembered the little details. "I've never had a room with a balcony. Not had one with such an amazing view either." You could see out to the ocean beyond the cliffs, the sun setting creating a cool breeze. "Yes, it is very beautiful. My wife adores the view. She doesn't see the buildings as much from the tower but she sees the sun rise and set. That's enough for her, she says." Caius said looking in the direction of the setting sun. You noticed Caius was never this talkative with anyone, never mind a human. It had gone from polite pleasantries to a conversation and you weren't sure what to make of it. "We must ask something of you, (Y/N). A few things actually." "Okay...I mean, it makes sense since you're letting me stay here." "We only ask that you do not leave your room when we are feeding. A guard will tell you when we are going to feed and when you can leave. At most you'd be in for an hour. We must also ask for your phone. You are more than free to make calls using the phone at reception but due to all of the things mobile phones can do, we must insist." You nodded. "Sure, that's reasonable." You dug into your pocket for your phone before handing it over. "Oh wait, can I turn it off first?" Caius looked down at the device in his hand. "I believe that would be best because I don't know what I'm looking at with these things." You cracked a smile, holding down the power button. "There." "Thank you." Caius nodded. 

They noticed that you slept, a lot. Sure they were told between 8-12 hours is enough but they let you sleep a little longer in case of jet lag or time differences. That was until it became apparent that these were no longer an issue. It couldn't have been healthy.  It was no surprise to anyone when Demetri and the twins opened your door to find you asleep. They already knew that of course, as did the rest of the castle. You were tucked into the covers, your face buried into your pillow, only the top of your back being visible to them. It would have been amusing or even adorable at the time, if it wasn't very concerning. 

Demetri crouched at your bedside. "(Y/N), it's time to wake up." Demetri said softly. You shifted before shaking your head. "Come on, darling. You'll sleep the day away." "Let me." Was the quiet grumble you responded with. This was confirmation that you weren't in high spirits today. Demetri rubbed at your arm that was under the covers. "We can't let you do that, darling. We'll be more than satisfied if you get out of bed and get changed. It'll make a lot of difference." "No, it won't." There was a whimper in your voice that time. Your grip on the covers tightening, your knuckles going white. "It doesn't bring him back. It doesn't make the day any easier because he's gone." Demetri moved closer. "I dreamt about him." You said, a sob breaking through. Demetri rubbed your back as you sobbed. Anyone with a sliver of empathy would have found it difficult to watch. Demetri had no doubt that he seemed like a villain to you right now. Asking almost the impossible but it was better for you. Not to mention, the leaders had already decided that this couldn't continue. "I know you're suffering right now sweetheart." Demetri rubbed back again soothingly. Demetri looked to the twins, nodding to them. A silent message to relay what had happened here to the leaders, to confirm the distress they could likely hear. "One step at a time. This is all you have to do today. In fact," Demetri paused, looking around the room. "why not get changed into those softer clothes you have. The ones you say are more comfier like your night clothes. Can you do that?"  It took a lot of coaxing but you caved, doing exactly that. 

A couple of more days passed and you seemed to just cry your way through them. Aro was the first to approach the matter. "I know that this all feels like an ending but you may find that-" Your gaze shot up to Aro's like a deer in headlights, feeling tears build up once more. "Aro, I don't think I'm ready to hear this right now." You managed out in a whisper. The only way the words would leave your mouth. "I thought I'd have my sister with me forever." Aro told you with a sad smile. "We were many years apart but she was my sister. We may not have grown up together but we were going to make up for that...with forever. One day that changed. I lost her. I won't lie to you, I will always remember that pain, and I'll still feel it every now and then but with time, it isn't so raw. It doesn't consume you as it does when it's fresh." You dropped your gaze from his once more, swallowing hard against the lump in your throat. "This feels like a pain that will never go away." "It lifts every day, my love." Aro responded. "Loss creates wounds and sometimes they scar but that's alright." Aro nodded.  

A tear ran down your cheek as you bit back a sob. Aro's words were actually comforting. It validated your feelings, telling you that you could feel that way whilst not undermining or dismissing it as something to be ignored as it would go away. Furthermore, it was a meeting point to help you understand that the pain you felt wasn't going to drown you, no matter how deep the pain went. It would get easier and you wouldn't forget. 

A day passed and it was possibly the most draining day you had yet. You felt tears constantly. Sometimes they fell yet it was for no reason, they'd leave as quickly as they arrived without explanation. Therefore you couldn't give any explanation to the Volturi. You were somewhat reluctant to see Marcus when he asked for you but you also knew you weren't in any position to refuse. 

You found the door was open as you entered. The room only illuminated by the fire to the right of the room and surrounded by two couches that looked old and exceptionally expensive- a dark brown wooden frame with padding covered with a rich red fabric. You quietly sighed to yourself the moment your eyes landed on Marcus. His back was turned to you, a very old, large book holding his attention. Or so you thought. "I know your pain, child." He said as you moved towards the fireplace, your arms crossed over chest. "I'm sorry for your loss." You grumbled.  Marcus turned to look at you before moving towards you. He gestured for you to sit in the seat behind you. As you did, he sat down opposite you. "I'm more concerned about yours." He responded. "We find ways to cope with loss. You have lost your way whilst trying to find yours." "I'm fine if that's what you're asking." You said. "I'm not asking. I know how you are feeling, (Y/N). I know not what you are thinking." Marcus replied. "You could always ask Aro. He's seen inside my head-." "Aro's sight is nothing to me in this case." Marcus interrupted. "It's meaningless. Hearing it from you gives it meaning." "You want me to talk about it." You said flatly. Marcus said nothing but looked at you expectantly which had confirmed your suspicions. You looked away, contemplating if you should. You came to the conclusion that it wouldn't hurt. "I can't really figure out where I've to go from here, in life. I've never had to live without him." You answered.  "You go on, little one. There is no direction. No one is pointed in the correct direction. At the end of the day, you go there yourself. With everyday, you go on and that's exactly what you're supposed to do." He responded. "When someone puts their all into you, their love, their effort, their time, they grow a bond to you that can never be broken, not really. It's always there. So when someone loves you so much...it's never goodbye." Marcus continued. "The truth is...losing someone is never easy. It changes you and it changes your life but it's never more important to remember that life goes on and people will miss you when you're no longer around. I know you well enough to know you'd want your loved ones to carry on. That's what is being asked of you now."  Hearing Marcus' perspective was actually important to you in hindsight, seeing as he endured such a painful loss that still haunted him to this day. It meant he understood the feeling of something missing in your life. He knew that better than anyone. Although much like Aro's advice it was difficult to put into practice. 

Four days passed and you were fed up of the grief and the constant tears for the tiniest thing. When Caius wanted to see you, you couldn't help but think that he was going to lecture you. Tell you to get over yourself like you had told yourself time and time again. So when you met him on the balcony, you asked. "I suppose you're going to tell me to toughen up right?" You asked Caius. Caius turned his head to look at you, instead of the ocean view. "Is that what you need to hear?" Slowly you shook your head. "So what would be the point?" He asked and you shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just thinking about everything he wanted from me. If my time with him was enough." Caius hummed. "A parents wish is to never outlive their children. They raise you wanting you to be better than they could ever be and live your life as much as you can. Even more so, enjoy it. Be safe and happy, free of doubt." Caius continued. "He got so many years of your life and I bet if you asked him...he wouldn't give up even a moment of the time he had with you. I'd say your father did a wonderful job raising you." "Was it enough though? Was it enough to make him proud and continue believing in me?" Caius cracked a small smile. "I think your father couldn't be more proud of you every day he walked this earth and if there is life beyond the living, he's just as proud." "How do you know? That I made him proud?" You asked after a moment of silence. "Simply because I am proud of you and not only are you not my child...but I am also very difficult to please." Caius responded with ease. You had to swallow hard against the lump in your throat. "Everyone in this castle, every vampire no matter the rank has outlived their parents. Although you may be surprised to know that many among us, had their own children that they have since outlived. All of different ages, from the old to the young. Every single one would tell you the pain of outliving their children was much worse." Caius assured you. Your eyes narrowed. "is that supposed to make me feel bad for my feelings?" You wouldn't have expected any less of him. Caius hummed in amusement. "Not at all, it's something to consider that your father wouldn't have had it any other way." Caius responded. 

You weren't sure when things had changed but the grief wasn't so heavy on you. So much so, you got out of bed at a decent time, got changed and came down for breakfast.  Felix checked in on you as soon as it was evident you were awake but left you to get ready for the day in peace. After breakfast you found both Felix and Demetri in one of the living rooms watching TV. 

You had gotten closer to the two over time. Demetri went out if his way to make sure you were looked after and Felix tried to be something of a friend or even a distraction as he tried to include you in almost everything. 

"Well look who's here!" He grinned. "Come and pick us a movie. You've got good taste as we've learned." Felix patted the empty seat next to him. "No, I need to sit on that side of you- that's my good side." You said. "If I need to have your magnified gaze on me it should at least be on my good side." Felix paused, a small smile growing on his face. You couldn't help but giggle at his expression. "I'm sorry? You're good side? What does that mean?" He said through chuckles. "Is this a human thing I don't know about? You have sides to you now?" "No!" You started but began giggling hysterically. "Listen, I need to know how many sides you have. Is this like personalities? Which side came down to breakfast this morning?" Felix continued and you laughed even more. "Or is it an angel and devil kind of thing? Did you leave your bad side upstairs, sitting in the sink? Which is another conversation all together by the way." "No!" You laughed. Felix turned to Demetri. "I was sent to check on them Demetri, do you know where I found them? Sitting in the sink! When did humans ever do that!?" "It was to get closer to the mirror!" You cried out in your defence. "To check on your good side by any chance?" Felix responded. You had doubled over so much in laughter and uncontrollable coughing Felix looked at you quizzically. "Breathe, (Y/N), it's kind of popular amongst your kind!" Felix's statement didn't help you. Instead you laughed more, curling up into a ball where you stood. "What are you doing now!?" Felix said in mock exasperation, beginning to chuckle himself. "I have to or I'm going to pee myself!" You managed out and Felix suddenly roared in laughter. "Friend, Demetri, listen, Carlisle needs to order a new human. This one is broken." Felix laughed hysterically as Demetri smirked with a playful eye roll. You wiped at tears that had built up in your eyes. "Ah, see, now that you've stopped yourself from relieving yourself on our floor, it's coming out your eyes instead. Humans are great!" "Felix, that is not how that works." Demetri said, his eyes wide as you continued to laugh. "Yes I kn- you ruined my joke! Of course I know that!" Felix face palmed.

Felix stood up, pulling you to a stand and bringing you to sit with him, his arm over your shoulder. "There, there, deep breaths. I've got you kid." Before you could blink he was on the other side of you. "Soothe both sides of you." A other giggle escaped you as he grinned. Demetri looked at you both with a smile. This was much more like the human they were accustomed to. 

The day before you left, you visited Caius at his office, wanting to thank him for everything he had done for you. You were beyond aware he didn't have to say anything to console you. Yet he went above and beyond. "Come in." You heard his stern voice behind the door. "Hi, do you have a moment? I can come back later if it's more fitting?" You asked, looking at him as he moved a few sheets of paper to the side of his desk. "Not at all, you chose a very good moment. What is it?" Caius stood up, moving away from his desk and approached you, closing the door behind you. "Hm?" Caius promoted, slightly softer in tone than he had before. "I wanted to thank you, for taking me in and being there for me when I needed it most. I didn't have the expectation but you went above and beyond more than I could have ever asked of you. I'm grateful." You said. "Well, you certainly needed it. That I can tell you. It's a joy to see you've been more like yourself lately." Caius responded. You felt yourself gradually grow a little more emotional by the second. In some strange way, you were going to miss him and others of the Volturi. Despite being rather rough around the edges. "I don't know if anyone has ever told you this." You began. You feared his reaction but couldn't keep the thought to yourself. "You'd have been a really great father." You said swallowing against the lump in your throat. Caius looked slightly taken aback. His expression changed to something you couldn't quite describe. Awe wasn't the correct word but looked to be the closest thing. His eyes softening as though you had melted his heart with those words alone. He said nothing, unable to believe what he had heard. You immediately closed the gap, hugging him tightly. Caius inhaled sharply, uncertain what to do as you hugged his waist and your head against his chest. You couldn't see it but felt as Caius relaxed, a small smile growing upon his face. You felt a hand cradle the back of your head softly as his other arm wrapped around you. He bent ever so slightly, his head resting on top of yours. "You take care of yourself. Understand? I expect to hear of your transformation soon." He said quietly. When you broke away, he wasn't so emotional. Instead he gave you his signature smile. "I promise." You responded as he led you towards the door. 

Marcus was the next you visited, around two hours later. Softly, you had knocked on his door to his own study and received a soft "Enter." in response. "Hi." You began meekly. "Do you have a second?" You asked as Marcus was putting a book back on book shelf. One of many that covered the whole wall with cabinets at the bottom. "I do." He nodded, turning towards you. "I...Oh hell, this gets harder to do each time." You said, eyes wide. Marcus tilted his head. "Take a breath. I won't bite." Marcus offered you a comforting smile. You smiled at the irony. "I wanted to thank you. You took me in and helped me through probably the most difficult thing I've ever endured in my life. You didn't have to and you did anyway. I wanted to say thank you. I appreciate it more than I could put it into words." Marcus smiled slightly. "Then allow me to thank you, dear (Y/N)." You raised an eyebrow, confusion crossing your features. "It's not often we have such young hearts here, all of ours have faded. You may have shown us that humans can be such wonderful things. Some of us might argue you to be the most wonderful of all. So thank you for blessing us with your presence, little one." You felt tears build again, rendered speechless. Marcus smiled, if anyone understood. It was him. "Your father would be so proud of you and every moment you've spent with us has been nothing short of a gift to us. Never forget that." You nodded. "I'll never forget what you've done for me. I can't express how thankful I am to you and the Volturi. I don't think I could have gotten through this without you." "Ah, ah, remember my dear. You were always going to come through. You've always had that strength in you. That was never strength that we could give. You've had it from the very beginning. It just takes some time." Marcus softly took hold of your arms. "I know it's going to make longer than our time together to properly heal from this. Although I'm more than confident that you will be just fine." As tears threatened to fall, you smiled at him. "I really don't get how you don't have children." You said and Marcus chuckled. "It wasn't supposed to be." "They'd be so lucky!" You responded as the two of you moved towards the door. Marcus chuckled. "If I ever had a child, I'd hope they'd turn out like you." 

When you finally got a hold of Aro, it was in the throne room with Marcus and Caius. You bit your lip. "There's so much I want to say..." You said to him. "...but every time I go to talk I nearly cry." You admitted, the lump returning in your throat. Aro chuckled slightly. "Allow me then, my dear. You've shed enough tears." Aro stood up, descending the stairs with his hand extended towards you. You held out your hand and he took his, cradling it close to his chest. A warm, genuine smile grew on Aro's face. "We have such high hopes for you, young (Y/N)." He said softly. "Your time with us has been wonderful. You are a beautiful soul, my dear. The pleasure was ours, truly. You have no need to thank us." Aro finished. "I trust you will join our kind soon enough. Until then, be safe and send my regards to my dear friend Carlisle." You nodded and Aro nodded behind you. There stood Felix and Demetri who escorted you to the entrance. 

The twins stood in waiting, dismissing the receptionist as you approached. "Is that everything?" Demetri asked, nodding to the bags beside the desk. You nodded. "Yeah." You looked at the four of them, silence overtaking the room. "I wanted to thank you guys too. I know it's not easy to be around a human like you have since I've been here. Especially an emotional wreck of a human." You noticed Alec's slight smirk at this. "Oh come here!" Felix finally said loudly, hugging you tightly. "I'm going to miss having a human around here." He grumbled. "...the receptionist?" You reminded him. "It's not the same! I actually like you!" You smiled into his broad shoulder. "I'll miss you, Felix." You said. "Don't! I'll find a way to keep you!" Felix grinned, squeezing slightly. "They'll never know. I'll find a way!" You giggled as the two of you broke the hug. 

You stepped away, your attention moving to Demetri. "Of course I have to thank you!" You smiled, hugging him before he could respond. He smiled down at you, patting you on the back lightly. "Be safe." He said to you quietly. Finally you looked to the twins. "I know you two don't do the hugging and I've put you two through enough." Neither responded but Alec's gaze wasn't so harsh. It was an improvement as neither of them were glaring at you. "Thank you for putting up with me. I know it must have been annoying for you to have me around- being a human and all that." You smiled slightly at them. The twins were silent but you caught Alec sending you a smile. Whilst they didn't say anything to you, Alec's smile told you a lot. They didn't completely hate you. You weren't as bad as they had thought. Although they weren't quite willing to let their guard down around you. "You two take care." You nodded to them with a smile before turning away. "I believe the car is outside waiting for you." Demetri said with a small brief smile.

[dabiboy]

I did it, angst to fluff dad!hawks and dad!dabi👀

AN: I do not support violence of any kind, and less bullying.

Hawks and Dabi when their kid is bullied at school

Hawks:

Being a father and a hero was hard. Mostly because his child could be a target for anyone who wanted to hurt him. Therefore, in order to keep Keigo working there the commission decided to keep an eye on Haru. But that include only villains and criminals. Not school bullies. And that was what happened that day nearly lunch time. Keigo had finished everything early that day, an going through some paperwork to spend time seemed like a good idea, in that way he would have more free time on the weekend. However, he had to stop when you called him.

"Hey angel! How are you?"

"Hi love, I'm good. But I'm calling you to ask you a favor"

"Sure thing, what is it?"

"Haru's school called me, and they said there was an incident and they wanted me to pick him up, but I'm busy right now, can you go?" Hawks wings stiffed.

"What? Is he good? What else did they say?" He asked standing up quickly. His son was first.

"Not much, apparently there was a fight or something like that"

"I'm on my way"

He hung up and got out flying through the window, not even bothering in changing his hero suit. It didn't take him more than ten minutes to get to the school, and once on the floor, he saw him.

Haru was sitting alone on a bench, both knees scrapped, dry mud on his face and part of his hair. There was also green and blue paint on his head, and also on his tiny wings, together with some chewed gum.  He was holding his bag tightly against his chest as he was fidgeting with his fingers, eyes looking at the floor. Keigo's heart broke into million pieces, and even more when he noticed his son was sobbing silently.

"Chicken wing?" He asked with the softest voice possible as he kneeled in front of him. Haru didn't say anything. "It's fine now, dad's here" trying to keep on a comfortimg smile was so hard. "Wanna tell me what happened, hm?" Softly, he caressed his son cheek.

"There were-there were some older kids that," a sob "were bothering because of my wings" he cleaned his tear with his forearm "they said there were small and weak, and one of them said" Haru's chin trembled "let's see if he flies" he tried to drag me somewhere but as I refuse they-they did this" He reffered to his wings and hair covered in paint and chewing gum, scrapped knees and bruises.

"Fuck, come here my boy" Hawks said holding back his own tears as he pulled him in for a tight hug.

"They even said you weren't my dad" Haru dropped his bag so he could hold on to Keigo.

"Let them speak, they don't need to know everything" Keigo used his hand to caress Haru's head gently.

"I-I don't know why they are like that, I lend them my toys, crayons, I even share the lunch mom makes but" he couldn't keep talking.

"People are shit sometimes, and we... We just gotta face it. The important thing here, Haru, is not being like them, and don't believe any crap they say about you. You gotta keep being good, humble, caring, all the things that you are now, my chicken wing" Haru's eyes looked back at him.

"Do you think I'm all of that?" And that question made him think, had those kids been telling him more shit too?

"I don't think so, I know it. I'm sure of it" Keigo smiled at him, wiping some dust out of his cheekbone. "What about we go home now, get you cleaned up and order some KFC, what do you say?"

"Mom is gonna be mad if we eat that and not veggies"

"Oh, I'm quiet sure she will agree with it today"

"Yeah! We put him some painting too, he gotta learn not to lie! He keeps saying winged hero Hawks is his dad" at the sound of that voice, Haru gasped and tried to hide in Keigo's body. But he didn't allow it.

His face went from soft to angry as hell. He stood up slowly, knowing that, in his hero suit and with his huge red wings was going to call their attention.

"Dad look! That's him" the kid say.

"Hi Hawks, could you maybe take a picture with my son? He wants to be a hero like you"

"Oh, is that so?" Keigo tilted his head. "Well, hero course 101; we save people. Don't beat the shit out of them."

"What do you m-"

"Your kid, did that to mine" He pointed Haru, and the other kid's face turned white. "I don't give a shit about the reason, because there's no reason to do that to anyone. Anyone" at that point, he was trying hard not to lose it. "If you wanna be a hero then change, because with that attitude you'll not make it far. And you?" He pointed the other father "Guide him good. Do not celebrate those actions, or any other action that may hurt someone.

And with those last words, he turned around again.

"Haru, pick your things and get on my back. Hold on tight"

It is about time to teach him how to fly, Keigo thought.

Dabi:

Kaji was patiently waiting for the school bus to pick him up and take him back home, excitment rushed over him knowing that maybe that weekend he was going to see his dad again. But some comments took him out of his thoughts, and when he looked back he saw to older kids making fun of a girl that looked his age. And she recognized him, it was the girl from the other class, the one that gave him half of his sandwich when his fell to the floor.

"Hey! Stop that" Kaji said as he walked towards them

"And what are you gonna do about it, sauna kid?" The older say, pushing the girl.

"I... I will call a teacher!" Your words echoed in his head. Stay away from troubles, call a teacher if things are complicated.

"So pathetic, you can even defend yourself" and it seemed they forget about the girl, because now Kaji was their target.

"Beware, he can turn us into dumplings" the other kid mocked, but when he wanted to grab him by his arm to push him again, he got burned by the temperature of Kaji's body. His steam got higher temperatures when he felt nervous. "You damned freak, you burnt me!" And then, he pushed him to the solid ground.

"No, I didn't-I didn't mean that! I swear I wasn't trying to-" the hell happened.

Kaji curled up, holding his knees near his chest, and head on his hands. He had to take those kicks and hits. Thankfully, the bus driver arrived faster than the usual and the bullies ran away when they saw the adult looking the situation.

Kaji got back home, alone. You were working, and the nanny that was supposed to take care of him canceled last minute, but you trusted him to be alone for an hour or so. He got onto the couch, covering himself with a blanket not to see his bruises, hating himself. For being blamed of hurting someone, and for not being able to defend himself or the girl.

Conveniently, Dabi decided to stop by. He used the spare key you had given him to get into the apartment, and he furrowed his eyebrows at the tiny ball on the couch.

"If you're trying to scare me again is not gonna work, boy" Dabi said, but when all he heard was a sob he got worried. "Kaji?" He sat down next to him and took the blanket away from him. What the hell had happened. "Who did this" he asked dead serious.

"Some... Some kids at school" Kaji managed to say. "They were bullying a girl from the other class and when-when I tried to help her they said ugly things to me, and-and one of them grabbed me by the arm and got" and he broke. Kaji gripped Dabi's shirt with such a strength it made him feel like shit. "I swear I didn't want to-"

"I know, I know" Dabi said, his large hand caressing Kaji's back in an oddly soft gesture. He cursed himself for being so bad at comfort.

"I don't wanna be a monster, dad" the kid sobbed.

"First thing, they look more like monsters to me. Second, you will not be one, so don't torture that little head of yours with such shitty thoughts, ok? Let those brainless kid rot" He kept caressing his back with care, trying to calm him down. Kaji nodded.

"What if they do the same tomorrow?"

"Well, I'm sure your mom will go to the school and talk about it"

"Can I just try to... To beat them?" And there they were. His genes.

"Don't let it consume you. Acting out of anger is not a good thing" Dabi knew better than anyone how it felt, and for the same reason he didn't want his son go through the same. To try to do something good and failing could be frustrating, especially for a five year old.

Kaji looked at Dabi right in his eyes, and the resemblance was scary. It was like looking in a mirror when he was younger. And then he noticed the sadness in Kaji's eyes, the fear, the doubt. Even though he never admitted it, that little boy was his world, and he hated to see him like that because of someone else. Kaji didn't deserve that. Not him.

The two of them stood like that for a while, Kaji calming his sadness buried on Dabi's chest, his tiny hands gripping his shirt, not wanting to let him go, not even for a second. Dabi gave up to his son, he just couldn't take it. His grip became tighter around Kaji's body, and he rested his chin on top of his head, and he even pressed a soft kiss right on that spot. He wanted to protect him from everything, and the worst part was that he knew he wasn't going to be there forever. After a few minutes, Dabi spoke.

"Alright, let's wash that ugly face of yours" Dabi joked, maybe a bad one due to the circumstances but Kaji knew it was his dad's way of showing affection. He stood up with him on his arms "I can roast some marshmellows for you, your mom likes when I do that"

"Yes! Can I have more than five?" Kaji pleaded.

"Your mom's gonna fucking kill me if I do" but at his puffy son's eyes Dabi couldn't say no "fuck it, what's the worst that can happen" Dabi rolled his eyes.

He made the way to the bathroom, ready to wash Kaji's face. Even though the kid was calmer thanks to his dad's comforting hug, Dabi wasn't. He didn't want his kid to go through that pain, but he also knew Kaji wasn't alone. He had you, and him. And he was going to be there as much as time allowed.

[firewoodfigs]

for the only one bed prompts......... "and only one pillow so a used b's chest or stomach" 🥺

EMMA, MY LOVE. FOR YOU I WOULD GIVE THE WORLD AND MORE <3 I hope you enjoy, friend!!! <3

also on ao3 - i like it when you sleep (for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it)

                                      ++++++

She falls asleep on the car ride back.

It’s unusual, such behaviour. Ordinarily, she’d be keeping watch or the one driving, but throwing herself at wolves and flirting with married men (and tolerating her commanding officer’s unwarranted jealousy) is indescribably wearying. It’s even worse than military training, having to put up all these fake niceties and pretenses. She wonders how Roy does this every day. Maybe that’s why he’s so tired all the time, Riza thinks. Now she knows why.

She startles awake briefly when the car jerks. Riza mutters, unintelligibly, something about safety and watching the road. She dimly registers the sound of a murmured apology from the driver’s seat.

Riza nods, and drifts back uneasily to sleep.

(In her sleep, Riza dreams of a dimly-lit courtroom and of Lady Justice, so white and pure and glorious even in the shadows. It is a recurring dream of hers, but it still leaves her palms clammy and her heart racing, like she’s just pulled the trigger on someone for the very first time.)

—

“We’re here,” Roy announces.

Riza groans as she rouses from her nap. There’s an ache that’s starting to crawl into her head, and she wonders if she’s just had too much to drink earlier (she thinks she’s done a pretty good job of turning down the offers of free, expensive wine though). She rubs at her temples wearily, blinking hard in an attempt to dispel some of the lingering fatigue.

“Are you alright, Lieutenant?”

“Yes,” she answers, without hesitation. Riza straightens in her seat, smoothing out the creases in her outfit. It’s a fitting, champagne-coloured number that is as meddlesome as it is pretty. (Riza hasn’t worn something like this in a while, simply because there hadn’t been any occasion to. She thinks she’ll probably have a hard time getting out of it later.) She opens the door and stretches her legs out. “Let’s go, sir.”

“Alright.”

The motel is just like any other motel, Riza thinks. It’s old and musty and right in the middle of nowhere, managed by a receptionist who’s clearly half-asleep at their workstation. They check in under the guise of a civilian, childless couple, as usual. Elizabeth and Andrew Ditlev, yes, a room for two. We won’t be needing anything else, thank you. There’s the sound of keys jangling and paper notes rustling, and then she’s dragging her feet up the creaking stairs towards their room on the second floor, Roy’s hand hovering uncertainly over her back.

Riza nudges it away and reassures him that she’s just fine. (He continues fretting, anyway.)

—

It’s only after she’s taken a shower that Riza notes the irregularity in their room.

“Sorry,” Roy says. There’s a sheepish edge to his voice, but the way he’s grinning tells her that he’s not altogether unhappy about their current predicament. “I tried asking for another pillow, but reception said they’ve none left.”

Riza frowns. She moves to sit on the edge of the queen-sized bed, drying her hair with a thin towel. It’s not uncommon for them to share a bed; going on these undercover operations as a loving, married couple meant that it was only logical for them to do so. It’s not like she has anything against it, either, but she’s always maintained a distance from him, even while on the same bed. They usually sleep with their backs turned (although Roy has a peculiar habit of snaking his arm around her waist just before daybreak).

“Sorry,” Roy repeats, stifling a yawn. He’s already taken the liberty of going shirtless, while she was bathing. “You can take the pillow, if you’d like. I can go without.”

Riza shakes her head and gestures towards the shower.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll figure something out.”

He yawns again, dragging himself to the shower.

“Really, Lieutenant. It’s no hassle at all.”

Water starts running again, from the shower. Riza shifts towards the nightstand and picks up the phone. There’s a little note beside — press ‘0’ for reception and/or room service.

She does exactly that.

“What?”

“Hello,” Riza greets in response. “I’m calling from Room 204. We were wondering if you happened to have a spare pillow —”

“I already told you we have no more pillows,” the receptionist interrupts, groggily. Riza picks up on the poorly-concealed hint of annoyance and, somewhat annoyed herself, apologises insincerely for the apparent inconvenience caused. “Goodnight.”

The phone line goes dead.

Riza huffs. She puts the phone down and mutters something to herself about cheap motels and their stinginess. Resignedly, she fluffs the lone pillow and moves to lie down once her hair’s dry. (She thinks she’ll continue to keep her hair in a manageable bob like this, just for convenience’s sake — even if Roy prefers it otherwise.)

“Lieutenant,” he calls, sounding scandalised. Riza cracks an eyelid open and stares at him, as if to say, what? (She still has no idea how men do this so quickly, even after all these years in the military. It barely takes more than a minute for them to finish their ablutions, even though their bodies are nearly twice the size of hers. Thrice, if she’s including people like Major Armstrong in the count.) “What are you doing?”

“Sleeping. Or trying to.”

Roy makes a sound of disapproval as he dries himself (Riza turns away respectfully at this) and puts on his pajamas. She feels his weight on the mattress once he’s done, and when she refuses to budge from a spot he starts poking her from behind, like a needy child badgering their parents for an impossible gift (she doesn’t even remember behaving like this as a young girl).

Riza groans and rolls her shoulders. “What?”

“I told you to take the pillow, Lieutenant.”

“I told you it was fine.”

He clucks his tongue. Roy rolls her around to face him, and she bites her lips to stifle another groan.

“Stubborn as always, aren’t you?”

“Pot, kettle,” Riza murmurs wearily. She can barely keep her eyes open at this point, much less keep up with his nonsensical, baseless arguments. “Go to sleep, sir.”

Roy tries, vainly, to slip the pillow under her head a few minutes later, but Riza elbows him in the ribs and pulls the blanket over them, effectively ceasing the argument. He huffs petulantly and closes his eyes.

—

“Trouble sleeping?”

“No,” Riza mumbles, but it’s a lie. She knows that he knows it’s one. (It’s no secret that both of them have had trouble sleeping since the war.)

“You’re lying,” he says, though not accusingly.

Riza ignores him and clutches a handful of the motel’s standard-issue white blanket. She covers her eyes with them and tries to sleep, again, but she fails spectacularly at this otherwise simple task. There’s just something about motels and their pastel walls and background music that tends to set her on edge. Maybe it’s because it’s so unlike what she’s used to. (She’s fallen asleep to the sound of gunshots and explosions, more times than she has to Debussy.) Or maybe it’s the fact that she’s no longer sleeping on a single-sized bed, by herself.

“Are you sure you don’t want the pillow?”

“No.”

“Stubborn as ever,” he mutters. She thinks he’s given up on fighting a losing battle, when she feels his arms pulling her close.

“With all due respect —”

“Nothing inappropriate, Lieutenant. I promise you.” She struggles to free herself from his grip, but clearly, all the work he’s been putting at the gym lately has paid off. Riza glares at him, murderously. He simply grins. “Since they ran out of pillows, we’ll simply have to make one.”

“What, with alchemy?”

“Actually, that doesn’t sound entirely implausible.” Riza is about to push herself off his chest, when he tightens his grip around her. “But it’s late, and I’m tired, and besides, we’re supposed to be an ordinary couple, nothing else.”

The word rolls off his tongue infuriatingly. Riza gets the peculiar feeling that he’s enjoying this far more than he should be. She frowns, glancing at him from beneath her lashes.

“I do tend to move around a lot in my sleep, sir.”

“I know.” He shrugs against her, positioning her head so that it’s resting comfortably on his chest. Then Roy wraps his arms around her again, almost gleefully, uncaringly, as if there’s nothing inappropriate about their shared embrace. Riza huffs. “But it’s fine. Anything to help my favourite subordinate sleep.”

“How very kind of you, sir,” Riza mutters drily. She attempts, somewhat furtively, to tickle him - she knows all his weak spots by now - but Roy dodges it with surprising agility, like he would a bullet.

“Of course. Please make sure to give me a good performance review when the time comes,” he says, smirking in a way she can only describe as insufferable.

“Only if you stop drooling all over your desk.”

“For the record, I do not,” he says, with an injured sniff.

Riza rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t protest further. She won’t admit it aloud, but it’s nice, being held like this. Roy is unusually sweet in a way that he isn’t anywhere else. He hasn’t been this way since they were kids.

“Yes, you do,” Riza retorts softly, ignoring the lump in her throat.

(This scene is achingly familiar, like a vignetted memory, like an excerpt of a film she already knows the ending to. The ending is always the same in her dreams.)

Laughter rumbles from his chest. It is a lovely sound to hear, after a long day of work, but it rubs against her cheek ingratiatingly, and Riza makes a mental note to write a letter to the hotel when they’re back in the city — a not-too-gentle reminder to stock up on pillows and other necessities.

“We can save this argument for another time, Lieutenant. It’s two in the morning.”

Riza relents, because it is two in the morning. She thinks sleep should claim her now, rather than later; she’s been trying to cut down on her caffeine intake lately. But Roy starts stroking her hair, and then her back, like he’s trying to lull a child to sleep, and Riza has to swallow the satisfied hum lurking in her throat (she refuses to give him any satisfaction of knowing that she is, in fact, enjoying this, far more than she has any right to).

Riza clears her throat. She pushes his arm away.

“I’m not a cat, you know.”

Laughter, again. The caressing stops. She feels him pressing a kiss to the top of her head, and then he’s hugging her again, one arm resting languidly on her side like she’s some sort of a replacement bolster.

“I know. Goodnight, Riza,” he says, softly.

She doesn’t have the heart to remind him that they’re still on a mission.

“Goodnight,” Riza whispers. There’s a part of her that aches, yearns for this moment to be something more than a(nother) fleeting, stippled memory, but her bliss is abruptly broken by the commotion coming from upstairs — something about an adulterous affair and impecuniosity.

Riza shifts uneasily and tries to drown it all out by focusing on his heartbeat instead. It’s audible beneath her cheek — not quite like a lullaby, but close enough — just a gentle hum of life, enough to quell her frazzled nerves and lull her back into peace.

When she falls asleep at last, Riza dreams of something different, something that stems from her deepest desires.

(In her dreams, she’s in a white dress, and Roy is radiantly alive in a sunlit attic.)

[zevlors-tail]

i need more poly shindeku :(

I do too! Which is why I'm coming at you with random headcanons for my ultimate comfort ship minus my platonic self ship with Shinsou. Needed a break, and poly is just easy for me to think about for some reason sooo. Enjoy!

More Poly ShinDeku Headcanons

-These fuckers the type of little shits to visit the seasonal/holiday section at stores and completely GOOF OFF.

-It starts innocently enough. You ask if the three of you can peruse the seasonal isle to look at decorations for your apartment. You want it to feel nice and homey, you know? Sometimes it gets lonely with Deku gone all day and Shinsou working thirds most of the time.

-Izuku will pick out anything All Might themed, Shinsou goes for the weirdest decor he can find, and you're the only one actually trying to coordinate (well, okay, Izuku is trying, at least give him credit).

-But it all goes to hell in a hand-basket when Shinsou starts messing with the decor. If it's Halloween, that fool is trying to scare you with a weird looking pumpkin or a skeleton or ghost or some shit. Christmas? You get bopped on the head multiple times with a plastic candy cane. Summer? Prepare for battle, because once Shinsou grabs one of those toy swords, it’s OVER.

-And if you’re not the one battling him, you immediately become a hostage to one of the boys while they toss around their fake swords and duke it out over you. Hero complex, anyone?

-The three of you are just laughing and having a good ol’ time in the middle of the isle when a member of management is like “Excuse me, can I help you?”

-All of you freeze mid whatever it was you were doing. Shinsou’s mouth is half open in a laugh, Deku looks terrified, and you’re just staring in embarrassment. Shinsou comes up with some lie for the three of you and if that doesn’t work, well then you better run! Imagine the headline you’re gonna see on the news tomorrow; Heroes Deku, Mind Jack, and H/N Banned From Local Convenience Store. Hope you have a good PR manager!

-Both boys love turning ordinary dates into extraordinary ones. They know how to appreciate the little things and find happiness in the small moments! The three of you can literally have fun anywhere at any time.

-Lots of park dates, museum dates, trips to the zoo, and planetarium outings! Staying at home is also a popular date night choice but they love to take you to all sorts of places.

-For park dates, it’s common for you to walk in between them on the sidewalk holding both their hands. If you or Izuku feel particularly energetic though, you might visit the swings. Shinsou isn’t very far behind, always pushing either you or Izuku but refusing to be pushed himself. He’s more or less there to watch the two of you smile and laugh, and that’s enough for him.

-If it’s too cold to go to the zoo or park, then the next best thing is museums and planetariums! You would have never guessed, but both boys have such a fascination with space. 

-Especially when it comes to those rooms with the stars on the ceilings and the projections of planets and the sun and everything. It’s endearing to see the way Izuku’s eyes twinkle like the lights above him and how Shinsou’s shoulders instantly drop in relaxation. And they both learn so much- “Y/N, did you hear what they said about this star!?” “Maybe we should go check out that interactive exhibit with the planets later?” “You two really like space, huh?”

-TAKE THEM TO AN INTERACTIVE SCIENCE MUSEUM. TAKE THEM TO AN INTERACTIVE SCIENCE MUSEUM. TAKE THEM TO AN INTERACTIVE SCIENCE MUSE-

-They’d be so cute. Let them be children again! Izuku won’t be able to keep his hands off anything and Shinsou will be sooooo fascinated. But also, expect your purple haired boyfriend to make lots of sarcastic jokes about it at first. He might need to warm up a bit to it but he’ll want to go back afterwards for sure.

-If you don’t already have a cat, you now have several. It started with one- a really cute kitten followed Shinsou home one day without him realizing (or at least, that’s what he told you), and it was all downhill after that. Izuku was fine with the first one; it was cute, little, and completely loving. But then it happened again. And...again.

-You and Shinsou found the third little kitty in a big cardboard box with “Free Kittens” written on the side of it when you were walking downtown and of COURSE how could you just leave him there!?

-Izuku tried. He really tried. He didn’t want a third cat, and you already had two, and he was literally in the middle of trying to make a point about it when you blurted out a name for it and he knew then and there it was hopeless.

-Shinsou, immediately after you named it: “See? He has to stay now. Y/N named him.” Izuku still loves you, Shinsou, and the cats regardless. You’re a happy little family.

-If Shinsou is upset, you and Izuku will gift him a cat in his lap to help him feel better. If one of you is upset, he will absolutely do the same with an added Hang In There! cat meme. It makes Izuku smile and you find it funny. 

-And speaking of memes, they might as well be a love language for the three of you. There is a group chat that you have dedicated to just memes that you send each other. Shinsou primarily sends cat memes, Izuku sends All Might and other hero memes and just random ones that remind him of you and Shinsou, and you send whatever garbage you can find to make them laugh. There have been times where one of you are only a room away from each other sending memes and listening to the other laugh about it through the wall.

-If Deku has the day off and Shinsou doesn’t have to work that night, it’s not uncommon for the three of you to stay up late with each other and just catch up over a warm drink. It’s different for everyone; Shinsou has decaf coffee (Izuku will mother hen him if he drinks caffeinated anything after 6pm), Izu usually makes hot chocolate or tea, and you have your drink of choice.

-Often times your conversations last until early in the morning. You all just check up on each other and talk about life or your hopes and dreams and worries, and it’s an effective and good way of communication between the three of you. 

-It’s cozy and comfy, and it’s hard to tell who’s who when you’re a mess of tangled limbs under a giant fluffy blanket. And then of course the cats join in when they want!

-If Shinsou is exceptionally tired, he falls asleep first. This makes both you and Izuku happy since the poor guy hardly gets any quality sleep. But more often than not, Izuku will pass out first since he works days, and you go next with Shinsou following you. 

-Overall just a really fun relationship to be in, and it’s filled with joy and laughter and love. You will always feel protected and cared for and understood when you’re with the both of them.

:)

[dreamkidddream]

Hello! Congrats!! Well deserved omg! Could you write the quote number 8 for Kunikida please? This man deserves so much more love! (but if it's already taken, then quote number 5) Take care! <3

Thank you!!! I hope you’re staying safe and doing well ☺️ Kunikida deserves so much more love than he gets and I will forever stand by that (there will be NO Kunikida slander here 😤😤) and this was so cute. Reader is gender neutral!

TW: small spicy/suggestive mention, but it’s nothing graphic or extreme (literally just one small mention of undressing, but nothing graphic)

Prompt: “Is that my shirt?” with Kunikida!

You cannot remember anything from last night.

Okay maybe you’re exaggerating just a bit, but you can’t remember the whole night. You remember celebrating a case well done at the agency, having more than just a few drinks, and then the night became blurry after that.

So waking up in a room that isn’t yours, in a bed that isn’t yours, just about gave you a heart attack. But, you didn’t wake up next to someone, and you still had your same clothes on, so you felt somewhat relieved. You weren’t handcuffed, and you still had all of your limbs intact, and the room wasn’t a dungeon or someone’s basement, so that was a plus sign.

The room looked rather plain, not much hanging on the walls and only having the bare necessities in there. You can see a nightstand, a decent sized TV, along with a bookcase filled with different sized novels and textbooks. When you did get up (really when your head stopped spinning) to take a closer look, you could also see...notebooks?

You picked one up, really focusing on it, and now that you’re up close, these look like the ones that Kunikida use-

Oh no.

Oh nonononono-

This is Kunkida’s room? You’re at his place?! Oh, you could just pass out right now, and you would have crawled back in bed and go back to sleep if it was your bed and not his! Oh, this is just mortifying-

A knock on the door resounded in the room

“(Y/N)? Are you awake yet?”

You choked on your spit, and dropped the notebook, the thud echoing in the room. Damnit!

You heard him sigh through the door, just picturing the irritation growing on his face. “I’m assuming that you are. Well make yourself decent and come out. We have some things that we need to discuss.”

You wanted to bang your head on the wall, but you know that it would just prolong confronting him (and make your headache worse). You couldn’t hide in there forever, but after catching a huge stain of whatever on your shirt, you would feel even more embarrassing going out there with it on (not to mention that you look and feel absolutely filthy, you wanted a shower more than anything!). So, you just so happened to fall upon a black dress shirt that was neatly folded on the nightstand next to you, you took the initiative and changed into it.

Did Kunikida purposely leave that out for you? You assumed so, you know how organized the man is, and it wouldn’t make sense why he would just leave it out if he didn’t. You won’t lie, the action made your heart flutter (even more than it already does when you’re around him), and you felt a little giddy knowing that you could wear one of his shirts, despite under the current circumstances.

You still had your bottoms on, which were left unscathed and clean somehow, and you took a breath.

You couldn’t hide forever, and with that, you opened the door.

—-

The first thing your eyes landed on was Kunikida already dressed, furiously writing in his notebook, glasses perched on top of his head, pacing back and forth while mumbling to himself. You took the time to scan his apartment, being just as plain as him room but still having a type of charm to it (a charm that only Kunikida can have). It wasn’t until you cleared your throat that he froze. He snapped his head up at you, and you just mentally prepared yourself for getting chewed out.

“Well, glad to see that you’re finally up. Have a seat”, he lead you to sit at his kitchen table, him pulling a chair out for you and taking a seat across. “How’s your head?”

“Oh it’s...fine?”

“Are you sure?”

Okay, he’s not fussing at you yet, which is a good sign. The tension that you felt in your body slowly started to ease away, your shoulders being relaxed again.

“Yeah. If anything, my throat’s a little dry-”

“Because I would think after acting like a reckless party animal with no self control would leave your head anything but fine.”

Oop, you spoke too soon.

“Do you have any idea to how you acted last night?! In front of the President no less!”

“Erm, uh-”

“I would expect this from morons like Dazai but not from you! Not to mention how much you could have been put in danger if I wasn’t there!”

While he’s disciplining you like a parent would to a young child, you just pretty much sit there and take it. You somewhat deserve it, you probably messed up his schedule that he meticulously wrote in his notebook. So you’ll listen, but at the same time, you could only take your stomach growling so much, and you wouldn’t mind having at least a glass of water-

“And another thing! What if you would have gotten alcohol poisoning?! You’re old enough to control- wait.” He leaned closer, his green-gray eyes glistening in the sun rays peeking through his blinds.

“Is-is that my shirt?”

“Huh? Oh...yeah?”

His eyes widened, then he went quiet. He promptly leaned back into his seat and coughed in his hand, which is conveniently trying to cover the red dying his face (and failing).

“Just-just be careful next time. I’ll get started on breakfast.”

Whatever thought he had stopped at the tip of his tongue, and he got up from the table, leaving you somewhat confused. Maybe you weren’t suppose to wear the shirt like you thought...

So you got up too, and starting making your way back into his room to your discarded shirt. “Hey, if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll change back into my-”

“N-NO! I mean- don’t worry about it. I-I don’t mind. I know your clothes aren’t clean, and I’ll take you home after so that you can get properly changed.”

You didn’t believe him. He couldn’t even look you in the eyes, how can you? Even looking at him from over here, you can see how red his ears are. But, maybe he wasn’t used to this? Your heart would be racing too if the roles were reversed. While handling a drunk Kunikida made you chuckle, you really appreciated his efforts. He dealt with all your antics while you were drunk, gave you his own bed to sleep in while he bunked on his own couch, and now he’s even cooking you breakfast. And he didn’t have to do any of that!

This man is a keeper, you swear.

So you have to repay him back somehow, and you will. You hugged him from behind before he could say anything, and gave him a peck on his cheek (or that’s what you were aiming for, but ended up kissing behind his ear).

“Thank you, Kunikida”, your voice was muffled from hiding your face in his back, but the message still got across. “I really do mean it. Thanks.”

He practically short circuited, words jumbling together to form some type of “you’re welcome”. Stepping back, you gave him a smile and offered to help with breakfast, which lead him to sending you to the bathroom to clean up a little more (which you reasoned was to help get himself together and not look like a bumbling fool in front of you).

Kunikida watched you walk from the corner of his eyes, hiding his own smile from you.

Bonus:

“So, how come you didn’t just take me home? I can’t imagine how annoying I probably was last night. Scratch that, I can”, you chewed on pancakes, happy that your stomach and throat were finally satisfied.

“Well, I did, but you left your keys at the agency, and thought we were playing ‘I Spy’ when I kept asking you where the spare was when we got to your apartment.”

“Oh...yikes. Well, thanks for letting me crash here, and letting me borrow your shirt. It’s really comfy too!”

He cleared his throat, “It’s not a problem. Just be more responsible next time you’re drinking, I’m not your personal babysitter you know!”

You just laughed and nodded your head, cheeks full of food.

Kunikida didn’t lie, you really did leave your keys at the office, but he didn’t have it in him to tell you that he was fine with that. He didn’t feel okay leaving you by yourself at all last night. You didn’t stay in a bad part of town necessarily, but what if he left and you forgot to lock the door, and someone walked in behind him? Not to mention the killer hangover you would have to face when you woke up.

He remembers that you always say that you trust him with your life, so he took you to his place, fed you some food, washed your face, and laid you on his bed (all the while you acted like a clingy kid, refusing to let him go the whole time).

He took out his shirt with the intent to change, but decided against it. He didn’t want you to wake up and think you got taken advantage of, that he’s some kind of creep!

Plus, he only wanted to undress you when you two are actually together and reach that point in your relationship, not while you’re in this state, even if it’s to do something as innocent as changing your dirty shirt.

So he just tossed it aside, tucked you in, and admired you from the door once everything was done. Sleeping on the couch wasn’t very ideal, but he’s fine with it if it means that you’ll be safe and comfortable in his bed.

He would do anything for you, and while he may complain, if it means that you’re safe and happy, then he’ll make sure that it gets done.

[scintillasofbeomgyu]

ᝰ 00:05 AM — choi soobin

pairing: choi soobin x gn!reader. genre: angst. word count: 846. warning/s: implied break up, soobs lied and soob cried :(. a/n: not my best angst, but i wanted to write for bestie soobs, and adi wanted angst :) also yes, this is a monster timestamp ㅜㅜ

“(y/n)!”

you slam the front door behind you and lean against it, hand lingering on the cool brass doorknob. resting your head against the firm wooden surface, your eyes squeeze shut as you attempt to drown out the sound of the blaring music emanating from inside and dispel the aching within your heart. the slow, unsteady breaths that you take manifest in thick clouds in the freezing air and you gulp, before pushing yourself off.

the door whirls open again mere seconds after you start down the sidewalk, startling you, so your pace quickens.

“(y/n).”

even without his voice ringing your name in your ears, you'd know him even by the way the soles of his converse hit the concrete behind you; and it was aggravating. you knew him so well, and yet you didn't. you thought you knew him better than anyone else and yet, when you finally convinced yourself to attend yeonjun's party, there he was with a girl's lips locked onto his.

“(y/n),” soobin says once more, the desperation in his voice breaking your heart for the umpteenth time, “let me explain.”

he speeds up and grabs hold of your arm, but you shake him off violently. tears flowing from your eyes, you turn around to face him and shove his chest, the emotion welled in your throat making your voice hoarse, “what is there to explain, pray tell? you're going to tell me i saw it wrong?”

“it's...it's not like that, (y/n). y-you know how much i–” he scratches his head vigorously, tugging locks of hair, trying to compose himself and organize his thoughts, “just let me explain.”

you scoff, more tears burning at the corners of your eyes. you didn’t know what to believe anymore. a remorseful beomgyu had called you out the night before, making a teary-eyed confession by the plastic tables outside the convenience store about the last few months you'd spent with soobin. it was a game– at least to them it was, or so he said. you were the subject of a bet amongst foolish college school boys, who seemingly had nothing better to do than to mess with someone they didn't even know.

still, you believed what you and soobin shared was real. you believed with all your heart that he loved you, and even if it was a lie in the beginning, it was real now. you set your mind on coming to this party, working up the courage even though you hated big social events, just to clear things up with him– perhaps giving a little ass-kicking for effect, then all would be fine.

but you overestimated.

“i don't want to hear it. get away from me.” you sniffle, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your coat and continuing down the pavement.

your first kiss, your first date, your first boyfriend, your first love, the first person you felt like you could trust with your entire life– within a mere few months he had claimed them all. it was all a lie, and yet, you still absolutely, stupidly, loved him.

your phone buzzes in your pocket, but just as your fingers fish it out, he screams your name again.

“i love you!” his voice cracks and after the confession delivered as more of a desperate plea, came heavy sobs.

you stopped. the words you had waited months to hear seeming as empty as you felt. “i... don't love you.”

you bite down on your lip, the salty taste of tears now mixed with the metallic of blood. you wonder how pretty the stars would look on such a night, but when your swollen, tear-filled eyes stare into the sky above, all you find is the waning crescent alone in a sea of darkness.

“(y/n).”

you hear him tread slowly toward you and you want to run away as fast as possible, but your legs cement themselves in their place, refusing to obey you. his fingers grasp your shoulder gently then travel down the the length of your arm, hesitating before slipping into your freezing palm.

“i...i love you.” soobin whispers, voice groggy, ignoring the obvious lie.

your breathing hitches, and you almost allow yourself to fall prey to this man a second time, when the honking of a car horn brings you back to.

“(y/n)!” beomgyu calls as he steps out from the vehicle, promptly closing the door behind him before running to your side.

with all the energy you have left, you shove soobin aside and fall into beomgyu's chest. he wraps a protective arm around your waist to steady you, and you mumble thanks and an apology into his shoulder before letting your tears seep into his t-shirt. soobin's face contorts in surprise, confusion, pain and betrayal, but beomgyu stares back at him with indifference. 

“that's enough for tonight. i'll take them home for now, but give them some time.”

“what are you doing?” soobin growls, and attempts to grab you out of beomgyu's hold. beomgyu quickly evades him, and his eyes soften when he feels your arms tighten around his neck.

glaring back at soobin, beomgyu declares, without an ounce of uncertainty in his voice, “protecting the one i love.”

[persephoneyss]

Bad Movie.

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x f! Reader. Ft. Jungkook.

Genre: Yandere, dark themes, angst, gore a little.

Summary: ❝Looking for the person you love, beautiful woman.❞

Warnings: Yandere behavior, obsession, harassment / stalking, humiliation, forced marriage, non-sexual intercourse, abuse of power, implicit murder, drug use naming, minor past master / pet relationships, secondary character abduction, ugly hallucinating hoseok , beatings, blood, photos depicting abuse, mistreatment and death, bribery, sexism and humiliation (directly aimed at female prostitutes), hoseok mistreats and humiliates jk, awkward marriage proposals, use namjoon as a secondary character because it hurts more:(, etc.

Number of words: 6000+

︙Author's Note: This is my longest fic so far, I think. It took a lot for me to do it, especially since I didn't have a clear idea about the whole plot that would take and the role that each character would develop. So if you see Jungkook in a kind of strange character, blame my mind for including him almost last. Also, I hate Hoseok in this fic. Namjoon angel and fallen soldier, by the way let me know if they cried with his death, it hurt me to write it. Thank you very much for the 200 notes in my previous fic, I'm crying.

Read the Warnings well and enjoy!

(Sorry for any mistakes, my first language is not English and I am not fluent either.)

Puedes leer este fic y más aquí en español.

Confidence, a beautiful and treacherous feeling at times.

Feeling superior is a constant whisper of the ego within you, calling to be released and make others feel as what they really are, despicable and useless trash. It was fun laughing at losers when you haven't had that sense of defeat yet.

Hoseok fervently watched his rivals fall at his feet, laughing at his incompetence and stomping even more pathetic defeated form even though they were already dead in tears of pain. He smiled, he always did when he felt invincible and He bit his lip gently to hold back an excited laugh.

No one could be compared to him, and in his high sense of power he could never be alert when he struck him with a blast of vengeance.

It was you.

His eyes stared at you in horror and anger, his ego inside him hated you from the first moment. Because while despicable, he loved you for much more than his pride and winning sense.

He fell at your feet but he never made you notice it, behaving as he normally would around you even though he was always behind you.

Luck was her greatest ally, he always smiled at her and she helped him. It was fun to play with your opponents pretending to be the victim, the cornered mouse and then smash everyone with a snap of your fingers.

His mother looked at him with love and his father with pride, he was the only and favorite son of the Jung family. His success was never derived from love, much less, it was blasphemy in his family to say something so false and impossible.

Hoseok admired his family when they met in the great message of his parents' house, his grandparents smiled and his relatives brought out their most exquisite stories to entertain. They were all crows pretending to show interest in a prestigious place in the will of the family's monarch, his grandfather.

It was at one of those dinners that he got to meet you, he used to get bored of hearing his cousins ​​tell their anecdotes with prostitute women who mostly called, whores of a night. Mocking their shocked faces when they refused to pay them and threw them out of their big luxurious houses.

He rolled his eyes when a family friend, little Jungkook who was known to his father because of his prestige in his last name, chimed in trying to get into the conversation with a shy smile.

Lucky bastard, he thought bitterly. He didn't like the little idiot sticking his hands in boiling water, he wasn't even supposed to be there.

He hummed a goodbye as he walked out the front doors, walking aimlessly to his bored eyes. His feet stopped abruptly with a strangled sigh when he first saw you, you looked tired as you apparently searched for a key inside your bag. Could visualize the logo on your shirt from the grocery store where he assumed you were employed, He stood looking for what seemed like an eternity at you before you find the keys and rush through the back door. He snorted before lazily continuing on his way, however the next day he ended up following in your footsteps again and with even more confidence.

It took a few weeks for him to be able to enter the small commerce store and be able to look you face to face for the first time, it was expected that you would serve him with a smile asking if he was offered something. But he did not see you anywhere, he looked for you before another equally young woman approached him kindly, he sighed making a face of disgust surprising the she worker, his expensive shoes got dirty on the floors of the humble place with shame. His little investigation and search took him through many corridors of the establishment, he observed the shelves and each person who seemed to be wearing the uniform of the store thinking of finding you distracted with your work, maybe he thought of approaching you and asking for directions which he clearly didn't need. Knowing that  she you couldn't refuse because that was your job. In a way, you were there to serve him.

He let out a bored sigh, tired of playing hide and seek, he turned around ready to leave that place that disgusted him so much in a certain way, but once again he stopped in an instant. It was a moan. He clenched his fists, walking hurriedly to the place where the noise came from, he was sure it was your voice and that made him even more angry thinking that he would find you in a compromising position with someone.

He did not think that his lover would be such a stupid and dirty person.

You were crouched on the floor, grimacing with pain and exhaustion. You seemed very annoyed trying to lift a box with your arms, the scene was tender and certainly pathetic, she smiled noticing that you were so distracted that you were never aware of how I was watching you with carnal desire and painfully bad adoration.

"I-can I help you." He was surprised at his little babble, justifying himself later. Nobody ever managed to make him nervous, his father used to despise weak people and certainly he always sought his approval by doing things that were not correct. "They seem heavy."

Your face pale before the scare, turning into a face of shame quickly, you shook your head with a gentle movement, smiling still pained. "I'm fine sir. Can I help you? Maybe he got lost, let me guide-..."

"Actually, I do need help but not with your services." I speak in disagreement, you seemed confused but she nodded at his request. The customer is always right, right? How convenient. "I need you to allow me to help you with that heavy box, not to be rude or calling you weak miss, but you can't seem to handle it."

Lie, under his politically correct excuse was a dialogue about how insufficient you are even with things as easy and common as carrying a box, obviously you needed his help and Hoseok could give you that and more, much more. You just had to say it, it was so simple and fun.

"I -... I can do it, but i will accept your help sir ..." He smiled making an emphasis for he to give him his name, he let out a small laugh finishing his sentence.

“Hoseok, you can call me Hoseok, darling..." He mock imitating his position, your name left your lips like a melody and he immediately felt the sweet taste of it slide down his tongue. Beautifully perfect, indeed. "Now that we can finish the introductions please allow me."

Her expensive outfit crumpled as she bent down to lift the box with ease, you were once again oblivious to her incoherent and certainly crazy fantasies, it was like a romance comedy movie in her eyes. The charming fellow always stays with the girl. And likewise, no one could go against the fictional plot.

He was immersed in the beautiful narrative that you would be hers at the end of the credits.

It was not the last time she saw you, she returned to her same routine of continuing to stalk you with obvious impudence. The only thing that really changed was her new setting and her character, he was hiding between the shelves waiting for the right moment to appear in front of you with a charming smile. Over and over, he was locked in an infinite loop.

He was starting to get tired of just having you in his arms and sheets just in his heavy and lustful dreams.

"A date? How funny Hoseok."

His face twisted in annoyance, but he put on a fake smile again when you looked at him again. "Hobi." He corrected in a high-pitched voice, insisting that you call him that. "And she spoke very seriously my dear, everything is ready."

"Eh ... I -..." A simple wave of her hands was enough to shut you up, you frown in confusion and secretly disgusted.

"On Saturday, I'll send you the address of the restaurant. Goodbye, dear!"

You watch it for a few seconds but he's already gone, you resign yourself to continuing with your work of ordering the products on the shelves. Thinking and trying to remember when you gave him your number. A very characteristic noise distracts you, a call makes you smile with love and adoration.

The plot is taking an interesting turn.

Hoseok was charming by nature, his economic position made him even more desirable to the opposite gender and even his own. It was not strange to see people flirting with him or being suggestive with his proposals, he was on a pedestal and he enjoyed it. His subconscious whispered a little bored. I couldn't deny that he became boring in a way, but you appeared in the story as an extra who soon became a main character. You changed the script of his life already established and narrated.

You were so funny.

He smiled in front of the mirror when he thought of you, since he met you that day he started chatting with you secretly from your supervisor. You had told him several anecdotes to make him laugh, you were also naturally charming pulling out various expressions of adoration that you did not even notice. Oblivious to that, you'd better get ready for the climax of the movie.

The wind was strong in the streets of Seoul, your hair was noticeably messy causing you to let out a tired sigh. You should be planning your wedding banquet right now, but you honestly didn't want to leave Hoseok alone at the dinner he had organized. You put the invitation in your bag, thinking of giving it to her when the time was right with a smile. He seemed like a good person and undoubtedly a good friend in the future.

"You're on time, I was just about to order our food. Honey." The last word slid down his tongue with malice and arrogance, Hoseok inwardly chuckling at your disengaged expression.

"Thanks, but don't stop you can order for both." You say arranging your chair correctly.

The restaurant looked relatively empty, there were only three other people including a couple who ate dinner while chatting enthusiastically.

You smile unconsciously, thinking about what would also make you feel the same way.

"I was looking forward to this dinner, my dear. I also hoped I could tell you how much you have captivated me for a long time, specifically since the first day I saw you." And the others too, he thought shifting your posture.

"Thank you, I'm very flattered to cause that feeling ... in, good in you." You whisper clearly uncomfortable forcing yourself to stay calm. You were sure that you had never given a hint or anything else in Hoseok to establish romantic feelings. "But I-... "

"I know, darling. That is why I have to offer you the opportunity to be my girlfriend and my future wife."

Wife?

For a moment, you feel a rush through your body. You refuse to make a scene in front of all the few people present out of respect, you calm down by counting to ten slowly in your head, but it becomes very difficult for you as you continue to observe his comfortable smile and how he behaves. He seemed very sure of the affirmative respect you would give him, you snort angrily at the thought.

"I am sorry to have been misunderstood Mr. Hoseok, but I am not seeking a relationship with you and very sorry I reject any relationship beyond friendship." Your body lifts up, making Hoseok laugh well in advance of your final sentences. "I am engaged and my future husband is waiting for me, good afternoon."

Trembling, you leave the invitation in silence, leaving the luxurious premises in the same way. The waiters watching you with surprise, being an audience of rejection and humiliation on your part. Hoseok sighs, sipping his wine glass patiently pretending not to hear what the couple behind him are saying.

What a bad luck.

Life wanted to want to return all his damn vanity to him, making fun of him with your almost imminent rejection, obviously he knew that you were engaged and that you loved the poor man who had the bad luck to be his competition, but love is not always the important thing in a relationship or at least not of both parties. The voices of the waiters and the couple distract him from his plans for his next step, he clenches his fists angrily dropping the silverware on the plate calling the attention of everyone in the place.

"Filthy vulgar and talkative people, she will be my wife even if her words have been heard by her prying ears." He raised his voice, causing everyone to shut up. "It's just part of the script."

Maybe if the character who wanted to be the main loses the role of him, he should be the villain. The bad guy in the movie.

He read the invitation with meticulous delicacy, laughing at the little message you put aside. He thought about attending for a second, wondering if it would be nice to walk in to go straight to the altar and shoot your husband willing to take his place by your side. But that would be risky.

"Where are we going, sir?" He asked his driver with a smile.

"Take me to the best brothel in Seoul." He whispered delicately, smiling just as happily as before your rejection. I'd make you pay double the bill for your indulgence.

And likewise, the world is a truly small place. Jungkook nodded clearly uncomfortable obeying someone other than Mr. Jung. Hoseok cornered him like a helpless rabbit in the claws of a cunning fox, flashing his jaw in warning. He felt confused about his little assigned task, watching the direction pointing the right way to his chauffeur who only followed orders.

A small feeling of remorse ran through him, making him want to vomit when he remembered how Hoseok's face was so close to his with arrogance, as his hands roamed his arms gently. He was disgusting how he used his power to such a useless and demanding gain, sometimes without any realism.

"Little Jungkook, you have a very lovely name. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, you were so insignificant that you seemed pathetic to me." He whispered making her wince. "My father told me that you are good at obeying, I would like to test his theory." His cold hands were constantly running down his arms, making a shiver run through his body. "Still remembering well, I already did it before."

Jungkook was weak under his cloak of power, where he could so easily hide it. Lose it. "Yes, h-hyung." An inappropriate moan came from his lips causing him to cover her mouth in shame, a little touch near his crotch was enough to tempt him. Hoseok smirked, narrowing his eyes before walking away slowly wiping his fingers on his expensive clothes in disgust.

"I want you to befriend someone, don't ask, just do it. I'll tell you your next step when you're done." He ordered bored.

"We are here, young Jeon." Notice Jimin with a smile, Jungkook sighed wearily thanking him before getting out of the car ready to fulfill his mission.

I observe him for a few seconds standing in the entrance without doing anything, he was cleaning the windows of the building with force. He seemed like a nice person, certainly a bit humble. He approached making the man bow respectfully, even though he was older. Money can buy everything, they say.

"I am young Jeon, a new investor. May I have a chat with you?"

The man was surprised, no one who was someone by name and a few numbers along with several zeros would be able to notice his presence and at least greet him. A coffee sounded more intimate and undoubtedly inconvenient for him, but again out of respect he accepted the offer with a smile adorning his features.

"My name is Jungkook informally, but I like you and you can call me that." He spoke kindly.

"Namjoon, Mr. Je -... I'm sorry, Jungkook." He corrected sheepishly, making her smile.

He still didn't understand that he planned to do Hoseok with a building cleaner, but he didn't feel in a position worth asking. Furthermore, he would still not receive an honest answer.

He passed by the same place every day, pretending to enter the building only so he could meet Mr. Kim and talk about unimportant subjects. He gained his trust almost immediately, promising that he would give her a better job soon at his own company. He felt like an idiot taking advantage of the man in front of him in such a way for a simple whim from Hoseok.

He was an idiot, but he didn't want to go back to what he was before. A pet.

"I'm very happy, I think she will make a good wife." He responded with encouragement, seeing how Namjoon nodded looking for a picture of his fiancée to show him. He seemed excited, Jungkook understood his happiness after he explained that he saved for a long time to achieve his dream of getting married in a church. They were both in it together, in looking for a future.

He got lost in his thoughts, maybe if he lied to Hoseok about gaining trust from him, saying that Namjoon was a very cold and quiet man, he could make him forget about it. He sighed squeezing the coffee cup in his hands, Namjoon caught his attention by showing a photo of you smiling at the camera with a background of the bridge and the sun behind making a beautiful background.

Jungkook became alert, having seen that face before.

Hoseok had you as the wallpaper on his phone, he knew it was you because of your characteristic features and the scarf you wore in both photos. You were the new fad of a rich fool.

"T-is ... She's so cute, you're very lucky."

Namjoon nodded with a smile, apologizing before returning to his work upon being called by his supervisor. Jungkook put aside his cup feeling the bitter taste of his thoughts, Hoseok was planning something, he knew he was a son of a bitch who liked to keep his plans under lock and key and in a deep grave. He walked away calling for Jimin quickly, before being accosted by Namjoon who came running over, seemingly forgetting something of the utmost importance.

"I apologized Mr. Jeon, but I wanted to give you this personally. It is an invitation, in addition to the proposal to be the best man at our wedding. My fiancee said that it would be appropriate for me to choose someone and I decided that you were perfect, you can decline if you prefer. . " He spoke kindly, as always. Namjoon seemed to have no hatred in his heart, making his own feel heavy on his chest.

Could he bear the blame?

"It's my pleasure to accept her proposal, thank you for considering me. Good afternoon, namjoon-hyung."

He said goodbye by getting into the car as fast as he could, making Jimin look at him with derision. Obviously noticing his nervousness, Jungkook sighed hiding the invitation as much as he could before reading Hoseok's message ordering him to go to his house to sort out his affairs.

It seemed like a joke as he always looked so flawless, ready to humiliate him again.

"Jungkookie, I'm glad to see you again. Now, we'd better come in for our talk." He smiled making anger grow inside him, Hoseok sat on one of his expensive furniture before pouring himself a glass of wine. "Well, I heard from a little bird that you accomplished your task. Good pet."

"Don't call me that, hyung." He grunted in annoyance, making him laugh. "I can't go through with this, I did what you wanted. Leave Namjoon-hyung alone."

"Oh, they're close now really cute. But you forget that I can't fulfill your wish, because "Namjoon-hyung " is an essential piece in my little game." I speak mocking him as always. "Then we will move on to the next step ..." He thinking for a moment, before snapping his fingers. "Invite him to a bachelor party night at the brothel in the center, I already made the reservation. When they are there, leave him alone. A whore will take care of him properly, and maybe you can go make him a oral another yourself." He sneered evilly, reminding her of his past, Jungkook bit his tongue resisting the urge to respond properly. "Since you're clearly good at it, little pet."

"Yes, hyung."

Hoseok nodded saying for him to leave asap, tired of seeing his stupid face. He got up ready to do so, but his arm was taken tightly before bringing his face closer to hers, Hoseok let out a sigh, doing he could smell his breath of mint and wine combined. His hand lowered him into his pockets dangerously close to his crotch, he bit his lower lip to resist a moan escaping him, this had happened before and he begged it to stop forever. From his pocket, she pulled the invitation out, making her gasp in horror.

"Godfather of wedding, new facet of you... kookie." Rolling he eyes pushing him away from him, he fell to the ground before being met by a blow to his cheek. "What a shitty pet, you idiot."

Two days was enough for you to tremble at the thought. Your dress was proud to be seen, it was the most comfortable dress you could find at a fair price. Namjoon tried to enter but he was stopped by your friend who said that he will wait until you keep the dress out of his sight avoiding bad luck. A smile wavered on your face, everything was perfect up to a point.

Namjoon looked at you, a blush covering his cheeks before asking his obvious question. You didn't expect him to want a bachelor party, but you couldn't refuse because you simply trusted him.

Maybe it was your mistake.

You wished him luck, feeling an inexplicable emptiness. Your friends didn't offer to make one for you, they just sat on the couch in their living room talking about movies and arguing about what color the cake would be. It was the calm before the storm.

Jungkook felt a giant headache, the lights of the place were making him dizzy. Jimin had insisted on going with him to such an 'unusual' place to keep him safe. Namjoon had brought a couple of friends who seemed to be always close to him preventing the woman who did the job Hoseok had him do from becoming difficult.

He smiled, thinking that he would have no choice but to let it go. But Hoseok was not a good loser, and neither was he a good winner.

Hoseok:

He distracts his friends, and be careful what you say, kookie.

Received at 11:30 p.m.

He bit his lip, glancing around the bar, thinking he'd find him sitting somewhere spying on everything but nothing looked suspicious. He sighed, sending Jimin out for drinks with one of Namjoon's friends who he gladly accepted. He got up having pushed one away, the other who introduced himself as Jackson seemed more reluctant to leave his friend alone but with a few excuses about feeling bad managed to get him out of sight.

Believed that he would find Namjoon sitting right where he was before but no, he was gone. He felt a burning feeling of guilt, maybe if you didn't find out, nothing would happen.

"You're still the same as before, boss." Jimin sat down next to him, making him uncomfortable.

"Same as before? I am no longer a child."

"But you continue to obey as one. The manipulation they use on you is your greatest weakness, you are afraid, you obey without hesitation thinking about how this will indirectly affect you. But you never do anything to avoid it, you feel bad about this but you still sit here without doing nothing."

"What can I do, Jimin? I don't know if he really left by his will, or if they forced him. I don't want to enter a room in this dirty place and see him sleeping with another woman, because he wanted to and is a fucking infidel . "

Jimin ignored his words, falling silent after several seconds.

Feeling unhappy is a horrible feeling without a doubt. The curious eyes looked at you as if they themselves could judge your story.

Namjoon disappeared as quickly as the wind, many sharp tongues said that he eloped with a lover so as not to marry you. Others believed it was a kidnapping, maybe a robbery gone wrong and he was taken away or he was killed somewhere far away. A sob escaped you just thinking about it, the detective in front of you watched you cautiously.

"We don't know anything about him yet, but we will continue with the investigations."

You nod, without saying a word. Jungkook came in minutes later with a handkerchief in hand, he observed you before gently hugging you. You had the pleasure of meeting him after Namjoon disappeared that night, he introduced himself as a close friend from work and quickly offered to help you with the search.

Maybe he felt guilt.

"Thanks, Jungkook." You smile wiping the tears that escape from your eyes.

"They are looking for the best they can, they even alerted the Japanese embassies in case they might take him there."

"Japan?" Puzzled questions. "Why would someone take him so far? He's just a man with little money, that's ridiculous."

"We don't know, but I promise I won't rest until I find it."

Hoseok sighs bored, witnessing the moment. He had been bribing the bloody police force to hide the information from you about the discovery of your fiancé's corpse floating in the middle of the waters of the river where they used to go together. The only thing that was removed intact from his clothes was a small photo of you smiling, sitting on the banks of the same river.

The police mourned the death, but his faces left grief when they saw the money in his hands. He made fun of Jungkook as usual, who passed by him ignoring him when he went to his house to talk to his father, he knew that the useless little one was very meddlesome in the search for your future husband and ex-fiance. He rolled her eyes remembering how she used to look at him with discontent in meetings, suspicious of him.

He was a good detective, he couldn't deny the obvious.

"You didn't have to do this, a I'm sorry was enough." You say admiring all the bouquets of flowers that came to your house from him. "And I'm sorry for your loss."

He wasn't sorry.

"My dear, losing a loved one is something without a name. I can give you more than this if you promise to smile again, I love your smiles."

Jungkook snorts approaching you from behind, Hoseok to growl at noticing him so close and see how he puts his hand on your shoulder, apparently like support.

"Hyung, he didn't think it's a good time for ... That."

"But little kook, when is not a good time to express how you feel about your loved one?"

"When that person you say you love is crying over the loss of someone special because of evil people who don't know what remorse is. Do you understand that, hyung?"

"No, not really." He laughs cynically making you lose your patience, your little body comes between the two men, with one already furious and the other inadvertently giving up, you make a face of annoyance before speaking.

"Sirs!" You yell at him immediately, Jungkook steps back adjusting his tie. A mania that he had and that you noticed when he presented himself in front of you with regret, he did it when he was uncomfortable or nervous. "This is not the time to argue, I think you'd better leave my house if you're just wasting your time. Thanks for the flowers Hoseok, and Jungkook ... I, I want to continue the investigation on my own."

"That?!"

"What you heard, don't feel responsible for Namj's disappearance -..." You tremble correcting your words, making Hoseok scoff. "My husband, he was just at the wrong time in the wrong place. Thanks for your help, I'll see how to pay you very soon." Jungkook denies trying to insist but fails when you are already closing the door and giving him an apologetic smile.

Your breath feels heavy, you sigh falling to the ground sobbing again. You wanted to find Namjoon, but a large part of you was afraid of how. Dead, with another woman, with serious injuries or simply ... Alive but with trauma for life. You did not want to see him suffer, it was your judgment in life to see the person you love cry in his pain.

You observe yourself, telling yourself that you would be fine when you find it.

Your email seems to explode with thousands of messages received from people claiming to have seen a man like Namjoon near their homes. You ignore them knowing that most of them were false, the first few days you read all of them giving the police false clues that they quickly denied and dismissed.

You dry your tears, closing all the windows and cooking a simple instant soup, eating in absolute silence. It was overwhelming feeling alone at home, where you were supposed to feel safe indoors.

The rain, thunder, and evil outside seemed to be invisible within that place.

A chill runs through you, the control of the television seemed tempting to calm that neat silence and avoid your boredom. You give up turning on the TV, you see the first channel, you keep changing looking for the unknown, you didn't know what you wanted to see. Maybe a newscast saying they found a tall man with dark brown hair and charming eyes unconscious, with a couple of blows to the face and a few scratches but okay, safe, alive and waiting to see your face waiting for him with a warm smile.

Swearing never ever to let go.

A couple of tears slide down your cheek, ruining your fast food. A few knocks on the door manage to scare you, causing you to bite your lip in anger.

"Who is?!" Questions in a shout.

Nothing.

"It better be good ..." You say in muttered, you open the door expecting to see a child running to his house laughing at his childish joke.

But no, there is no one at the door. Just a small envelope that easily slipped underneath, you take it hoping it's a letter from the police announcing good news. Maybe a simple identification of suspicious faces, or footprints at the club.

"I hate being the bad guy, it makes me feel good.

He's dead, I did it for you. For me. For us. I want to make you happy but it's so difficult when I don't know what you want, tell me what you want.

Love you. Love you. Love you.

My heart is so weak in your cold eyes, I feel that you look at me with ignorance of my feelings. Do you want to find it? Do you want to do it?! Okay. Good luck with it. "

It was everything, plus a picture of a golden ring with a large diamond shining brightly. You wrinkle the letter in anger, tossing it into the first bin you found nearby. It seems that in the end, someone did want to joke with you.

Your days remained the same, you went out to work and in the afternoons you called each of the investigators to ask for new news, it was almost always a solid wall, there was nothing really important to report and little by little, they gave up.

Jungkook knocked on the door, he heard some footsteps approaching making him have a little hope. But when the door opened he saw you with a worried face, he felt his heart squeeze in his chest when he tried to get closer but you avoid him by leaving in a hurry. You were dressed in a long black skirt and a white blouse, you were elegantly ready for something.

"Where are you going?" He ask stopping your hurried pace, taking your arm tightly.

"Yo, listen... He... Or her, I don't know who it is but ... You know, he or her know where, he's alive I know. I just don't have time, please."

Your mouth moves wiht fear, you were hiding something but not from him. You were willing to tell him but not now. Not at that time.

"Let me accompany you, I can take you and I will feel better if you are safe."

You nod, letting go of his grip and running down the stairs, outside there is a very elegant car, apparently waiting. The driver smiles at you as if he had known you before, you make an uncomfortable face trying to continue on your way but Jungkook introduces him saying that he works for him.

"Jimin, he's Jimin. He's a good person and a great friend, I've told him about you before."

"I see, sorry." You speak with a bow before climbing to the back, Jimin just smiles kindly, as always.

"Where are we going today?" He asks animatedly, Jungkook takes your hand for support making Jimin remove the smile from him. Your nervous state and your afflicted face are enough for him to understand the situation.

You give him an address, Jimin searches the map being unknown to the place. Your eyes sparkle when the lights of Seoul are reflected in them, Jungkook holds your hand tightly in fear of letting you go again. He felt sick when you stopped calling him, cutting connections with him totally to this day. He spend sleepless nights looking for more clues, the only thing I had until that moment was the identity of the woman, she was a prostitute without anything special, when he spoke with her he seemed indifferent saying that he did not know Namjoon and that the last time he saw him It was when he drugged him and left him in a room as ordered.

The whore made fun of him saying that he would give him this information if he did not tell the police anything, he obviously accepted. Now he repented, the woman disappeared after that and days later she was found in a garbage container. It seemed to be a suicide, the container was from her building, the window of her old apartment faced just where she was supposed to fall if she threw herself without thinking twice.

Right in the garbage.

The wheels of the car made a thud when it stopped, it was a cabin, the only one nearby. You came down quickly thanking Jimin who just made a flirty face. Your hands trembled with the cold, you look at the letter that tells you where and when you should be standing at the door.

"Wait for me here, if we don't go out or you hear noises, you know who to call."

"Yes sir!" Jimin obeys with a laugh at the boss's serious tone of him.

"Y-you should go, I can do this alone." Your voice rises in the echo of the silent place, Jungkook rolls his eyes before offering his arm to you, making his decision clear.

You laugh calming your nerves, the door opens just as you both step close to it. A man stops them, saying that only you can enter the next room. You stop Jungkook who was to protest, you calm him down by leaving your ring in his hands with a smile.

Your body disappears when another man closes the door silently, Jungkook sighs looking annoyed at the guards who ignore him.

A message coming to his phone distracts him for a few seconds.

Jimin:

Should I call the police, Mr. Jung, or the hospital?

Received at 9:35 p.m.

Smile ready to answer before hearing the door open again, he approaching you to ask everything and at the same time nothing. Your pale face is enough to make want to hit the person who was inside with you. Questions remain in the air, your arms surround him while you sob for forgiveness.

From the shadows Hoseok smiles, admiring the document in his hand, your signature shiny as gold is glued to it. He thought it would be more difficult to convince you to accept his marriage proposal, but the precious and expensive ring fit you perfectly. He raised his hand proudly admiring his own, the wedding would be planned as soon as possible making him jump like a happy child.

You had accepted, with the promise that he would bring you back to Namjoon.

But it was never specified in the contract that he would be alive.

The wedding was in a meadow, outdoors with distinguished guests and a few friends and family of yours. Hoseok greeted everyone, by taking your hand tightly introducing you as his wife immediately. It's as if he wants to show everyone that you now belong to him, as if you were a prize.

And maybe if you gave him the key to her success.

"You better smile my dear, nobody wants to know what will happen if you don't." Her lips brushed your hand before placing a chaste kiss on it. "I love you, my beautiful protagonist."

You sob, tears falling from your face as you melt into his disgusting caresses. The man in front of you, your un-predestined husband. The one who stole the position of your true love, he was kissing you delicately.

"Don't cry, decorate the room just the way you wanted. The photos were a special touch ..." His teeth bit into the sensitive skin of your neck, an involuntary groan of pain escaping. "Love you."

Your eyes move desperately to find a photo where the beaten, abused or dead body of Namjoon cannot be seen. You scream when you find one where you see blood everywhere, you are resigned to look down at the ground where Hoseok was crouching kissing the inside of your thighs.

Your mind tried to process the idea that Namjoon had been killed, mutilated and thrown into a river that washed away his body along with happy memories. Farewell to him was prolonged as your body faded in pain.

Hoseok enjoyed the sight of your eyes tightly closed, his cock throbbing inside you as she fucked you like his wife.

The head of the bed moved crashing into the wall, and unconsciously your walls tightened around it causing it to release a curse aloft to the sky.

We got to the end of the movie, smiled as he dazzled the credits by seeing Jungkook's lost name. His little bitch who was his toy for many years, laughed remembering how she did wonders with her mouth.

He pretended not to know him when her father introduced him, taunting her hurt face.

He held you in his arms tightly, you had been struggling to free yourself from his grip as he continued to abuse you over-stimulating your pussy. Your eyes closed falling asleep from crying so much.

He caressed your face, kissing your dry, chapped lips.

The end.

[bowdawn]

pearls - part II

read on AO3 | part I

"I'm leaving." Lucien spoke the phrase he rehearsed some many times.

"What do you mean leaving?" Feyre sat by the fire, coddling baby Nyx. Her attention was to her son, and Lucien decided it was the perfect moment to tell them. Rhysand was looking at him suspiciously.

"I'm leaving Velaris." A pause. "For good." That made Feyre look at him.

"And where will you go?" Rhysand asked, something about his expression unsettled Lucien. "What about Elain?"

He tried not to scoff. And failed.

"Lucien, I'm sure-" Feyre started, looking between her mate and him.

"I've thought about it. Long. And I don't think I can do this job anymore." Lucien remembered the number of times Vassa sat down with him, unhelpful Jurian next to them, to come for answers for the possible questions.

He couldn't do this any more. His heart and mind needed peace and quiet.

"If you need a few days off..." Feyre struggled with the baby in her lap, Nyx had grown too fast over the past few months, and he wasn't a child used to just sitting down.

"I don't."

"And what will you do?" Rhysand crossed his feet, gaze never leaving Lucien, as if he was waiting to catch him. It reminded Lucien why he was doing it. He couldn't continue to be emissary for a Court that didn't fully trust him. 

They held each other's eyes. None of them refused to break it.

"Stop you two." Feyre's voice held anger, and a hint of fear. She eyed Lucien hoping for an answer. "Lucien..."

He had put his mental shield up the moment he set foot on the city. Lucien was tired of their tactics.

"There isn't much to say other than what I've told you. I'm leaving. I won't be your emissary anymore."

"If this is about my sister, Lucien, she just needs time." He wanted to tell her the truth, that Elain didn't need time. That she was perfectly happy going after Azriel.

Instead, Lucien opted for the half-lie. "Vassa needs my help, since none of you are lifting a finger to help break her curse, as it was promised." The accusation hung in the air. Rhysand inhaled sharply and made to stand up.

Lucien beat him to it. "That's it. I've done my job. I've talked to everyone already, they will be waiting for a new emissary for the Night Court. If you excuse me." He bowed and left the river house.

He heard footsteps rushing behind him. Feyre yelled. "Lucien, wait. WAIT!"

He was just out the door when she reached his arm and held him too tight. Exhausted, he turned to her "What?"

She flinched. "Talk to me." She tried to pull him back inside, but his body didn't budge. "I know this is about Elain."

He kept his snarl just at bay. "It isn't." And in part it wasn't.

"What are you going to do after Vassa? Will you stay in the human lands away from your mate, from your family?"

"What family, Feyre?" 

She gasped. "Us!"

Lucien laughed. "Feyre, please. Don't tell me you care about me. I know you do, just not as family. You don't need to fake for my sake."

"Lucien, that's not true!"

"Isn't it? You never let me have a conversation with my mate properly. Not in the beginning. I know she suffered, I can feel everything she feels, remember? And yet, you didn't let me come near her. Then it was convenient for you to keep me as emissary as long as I did what I was told, because you held the power, right? I would get to see Elain that way. Unfortunately Elain had made it clear she wants nothing to do with me, which I'm fine with, I will learn not to care. So what's keeping me here? Nothing."

"I thought you were my friend." She whispered, tears filling her eyes. He didn't want to make her cry, but Lucien also wanted to yell.

"Friends don't use other friends like that. I get it. You love Elain, she is your sister, you will protect her always. I'm just not gonna be a part of that anymore. I get to be free, Elain gets to be free. End of story."

The hold on his arm was loose. "You're hurt. You don't mean it. Think about it."

He had to close his eyes. Taking a deep breath he gave her the masked smile he always had on his face. "I did. For these past years. I'm tired, Feyre. I've been exiled, I've been hunted. The one I loved was murdered in front of me, because of me. I saw a friend going insane and couldn't do anything. A saw a whole court being destroyed without finding a way to help. I have a mate who isn't the one I had hoped for. And we have another war brewing. One that I'm not excited to fight. Especially fighting with people I can't trust."

Feyre was silent for a few moments. "You can trust us, Lucien."

"I thought so too." He gently pried her hand out of his arm and squeezed them "You're happy Feyre. I want to be happy as well."

"I want that too. I wish things were different. I'm your friend Lucien, please remember that." Lucien nodded, bending and kissing the crown of her hair.

"We will see each other again, Feyre. Until then, farewell." 

 Elain watched Lucien go with a heavy heart. He was leaving. She had heard every word. Every breath. Every single beat of his heart.

The bond had been silent, and Elain didn't know how to reach for it.

He was leaving and he was leaving her behind.

She didn't want to stay at Velaris. Everything in her life found a way to not work.

Elain had wanted Grayson, and he didn't want her anymore when she had been made. Elain thought she liked Azriel, only to find out he never cared for her. Not when the beautiful necklace he had given her sat nicely around Gwyn's neck. 

Elain was trying to find a way to be human again. Even when Amren told her there was no way. She had maybe, just maybe, found a way. Still she couldn't trust the sultry voice of her dreams. She wouldn't go to the lake. No matter how desperate she was, Elain wasn't a fool. That was the same lake Vassa had endured for so long.

The days that followed she tried not to be hurt. Elain didn't even know if it was her feelings or his. She didn't know Lucien. Never bothered to know. Never had the interest.

Not until the dream anyways. 

She got used to sleeping everyday with the earrings on her lobes, along with his jacket. She even started to use the gloves he gave her so long ago when she was at the garden. They were great, she loved them.

Curiosity was peeking inside her. She wanted to know who was the male the Cauldron put her with. When she first realized it, Elain had been horrified. It wasn't until one day around town, Elain saw a beautiful leather ribbon that would match perfectly with Lucien's hair.

She bought it.

It shamed her to know he had given her such thoughtful gifts, and she couldn't even figure out where to start.

And now he was gone. She had only been waiting for him to come back to Velaris. Elain had planned it. She'd call him to sit in the garden and they would talk. She wasn't ready to accept the bond, she didn't want to court him yet. Elain just wanted to get to know him.

The feeling of loss had been so overwhelming Elain thought if it would ever pass. It hurt just as much as losing her humanity.

Alone. She was back at being alone in the dark.

She lived her days as if nothing was missing. Feyre had not come to tell Elain about Lucien leaving. Neither did Rhysand. After the first week, she stopped waiting.

None of them asked how she was going. None of them noticed the misery she felt. 

They were all too busy with their own lives to notice her spiral once more. 

She tried to speak a few times. They would converse with her, but the words would soon fall to silence.

Elain tried to be more active around them. Tried to help to the best of her abilities. It was in vain. Once she brought the subject at dinner of her seer powers, that she could learn them, bring them back at will.

Rhysand had been thoughtful, Nesta told her she would request Gwyn to look at the library - never mind if Elain could be going herself. Feyre told her it was great she had interest in it.

Except nothing happened. Elain waited and too soon they forgot about it. Worst, with the threat coming from Beron to invade Spring Court, and without Lucien to make Tamlin move, Elain fell into the role of babysitter.

She loved her nephew, very dearly. Yet this wasn't what she wanted to do.

Elain had finally had enough.

"Tomorrow morning I will go to the library." She announced it at dinner.

Feyre sighed. "I have class in the morning Elain, can't you wait after lunch? Nyx makes too much of a mess with the paints."

"We have a meeting with Mor, Feyre darling. She will be back in the afternoon. Elain will definitely have to look at him." Rhysand spoke with a slight apologetic voice.

Feyre turned to her. "The day after tomorrow?" She asked tentatively. "The library will still be there." Her sister offered.

Elain was not happy. 

"No."

Rhysand stopped eating. 

"What do you mean no?" Feyre asked.

"I won't be able to watch Nyx tomorrow as I will be busy at the library." It was all she offered before going back to her food. 

"Elain, please." Feyre reached out across the table to touch her hand. Elain took the hand away. Silence fell in the room instantly.

"Is something wrong?" Rhysand murmured, eyeing her with narrowed eyes. "What do you need from the library?"

"I want to learn about my seer power." She told them as a matter of fact.

"Oh." Feyre and Rhysand spoke in unity. 

"Gwyn did check and she found a book although the priestess decided to include it in their studies first. We have to wait until they're done." Feyre bit her lips. "It slipped my mind, I'm sorry Elain."

"How long would you keep this from me?" She wasn't used to feeling so many raw feelings. The rage that filled her lungs was nothing she experienced before.

"What?" Feyre's eyes ran for Rhysand's. "I wasn't keeping from you, I forgot to tell you."

"Feyre, this is important. We are in the break of another war, and my powers can help." She tried very hard to keep her voice from rising. Even after so many years, Elain still could hear her mother's voice telling ladies didn't shout.

Feyre's face softened. "You don't have to worry about that, Elain. I know how the first war was hard for you."

"We will deal with it." Rhysand smiled alongside Feyre. It stunned her.

"I want to help." Her voice lacked strength. She hid her hands under the table, they were shaking. Both of them noticed it, and interpreted it wrong.

"Elain, we don't expect this from you. We know you."

"No, you don't." She got up, heart beating too fast. Lungs falling from the air.

"Elain, calm down." Feyre rushed to her side. Elain walked away. She needed to go anywhere, anywhere where she could be who she wanted to be.

"Maybe a walk in the garden? The stars are beautiful tonight." Rhysand offered, picking Nyx up and cleaning his dirty hands.

Elain didn't want to walk in the garden. It was always their solution, her garden. Elain wanted more than that. She shook her head from anger.

"Tell us what you need." Feyre managed to hold her arms, attempting to calm her down.

Elain needed sunshine. She always needed sunshine. And this damn place was always too dark.

At once the solution came to her and Elain pounded. Hard. Over and over. On the bond she felt between her ribs. She yelled at it. She begged it. 

Come, please come. I need you. Please. PLEASE!

She did over and over, ignoring the eerie looks Feyre and Rhysand were giving her. It felt like an eternity, waiting for him to come. She could feel sobs building inside her throat. Elain knew Lucien wouldn't come.

Knew that he was done with her. Knew she wasn't who he wanted. Knew-

She heard the snap outside. It had been loud enough for Feyre and Rhysand to turn at the sound.

Elain detangled herself from her sister and ran, opening the door and crashing on Lucien's body just as he landed.

"Take me from here. Now. Please" Her voice shook.

Lucien did not wait for any more words.

 They landed on a sunny field. Elain squinted her eyes from the sunlight. Slowly she opened them, and she could sense everything.

Lucien's steady heartbeat. His breath brushing her hair. His hands held her waist. Her hands holding his arms.

Everything about that felt right. Inside her a voice chanted. Mine, mine, mine.

Like the other times, she faded the sound.

Lucien's hand started to fall from her body, and Elain held him more tightly.

"Where are we?" Her voice was hoarse.

"Day Court." Lucien looked at her face as if he knew everything she felt. In a way he did, especially because she had not closed their bond once he got to Velaris. She let it open still.

"Why here?" Glancing around, still refusing to let go of his arms, Elain could see the beautiful summer field they were in. "I thought you were in the human lands."

"I can take you there if you want to." His voice was polite, yet Elain could feel his every emotion as well. He didn't want to part from her. It made her blush.

Instead she asked. "Were you here before?" 

Lucien watched her for a minute too long. "I was. I'm trying to find a way to break Vassa's curse. Day Court has the most extensive libraries."

She nodded, not daring to look at him once more. "Oh."

"Elain, I must ask. Are you alright? I felt your panic." And his voice was so full of pain, Elain almost smiled sadly.

"I'm better, thank you. You helped." Finally she looked into his eyes. The sun was coming from behind and it gave Lucien a hale, shining prettily in his hair. She wanted to touch it. 

"Did they hurt you?" He spoke so low, Elain almost didn't hear him.

"No. Not like that. I just… I just felt stuck in there. I needed to leave." Her hands moved slowly down his arm, feeling the hardness of his body. Making her blush again. Elain knew she should stop touching him, it wasn't proper.

Lucien nodded. "I can take you everywhere you wanna go. Just say the word."

A genuine smile painted her face. She remembered the male that jumped on a freezing river just to get her pearls. "You said they have big libraries?"

"The best of them."

"Will they have books about the seers? How to study the visions?" She bit her lips. Maybe Lucien also didn't want her to study something dangerous like that. Maybe Feyre and Rhysand had a point.

"Stop it." His words were harsh, and his tone was angry. Yet Elain knew it was not meant to her. "Yes. They may have books about the seers. If I remember right, the last seer to live was from here. No wonder they had a full catalog of journals."

That earned him another smile. He smiled back at her, a true one. Without a mask. It made her heart jump, she told it to sush it. "Do you think I can stay here and study them?"

Lucien chuckled. "Of course. We will go to Helion right now. I have no doubts he will let you stay. We may need to write a letter to Rhysand though, informing of this."

She stumbled. "They will demand me back." Panic biled inside her once more, too quickly.

Lucien bent over to look her eye to eye. She could see the metal one glinting with the sunrays. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. "Hey. Hey-" Daring, Lucien touched her shoulder. "They can't take you away. No one can. You decide what you want, where you wanna go, and when."

She wanted to believe him, she really did.

"You can, my lady, none would dare to take you. I wouldn't let. Helion wouldn't let. Believe me." They were so close to one another, Elain wondered how they had managed to be so distant for so long.

"Does it mean you would never let me go?" She needed to know the answer, for far too many reasons.

Lucien frowned at her. "Elain, you're your own person. It's not me, or anyone else, who should say what to do and where to go. If you want me away, I will stay away. I promise you that." And as if to prove his point, he stood tall again, and took a step back. Her nails dig on his arms.

"And if I want you to stay?" Her heart was beating so loud, Elain could barely hear her own words.

Lucien grinned. "Then I will stay." He stepped outside their embrace, and after a second thought offered his arm to her. "Although I may annoy you too soon."

Elain smiled, taking his arm. "Good. Then I don't feel guilty when I make you go pick my stuff from Velaris. You see there is this particular pair of pearl earrings I'm fond of. A boy jumped into a frozen river to get the pearls himself."

Lucien coughed and stopped on his track. "How?" He searched her face as if she was a marvel. And then he laughed. "Oooh, I'm in for swallow waters aren't I?"

"It will be tough hiding things from a seer." And after what it felt like a full lifetime, Elain laughed wholeheartedly.

Lucien watched her as she did. "Never pictured you snorting while laughing." She gasped, and then made her way leaving Lucien behind. "A very cute snort, I will give you that." He reached up to her too easily with his long legs.

He offered his arm again and she took it. "I'm already regretting this."

"No you are not." Lucien poked his ribs right where she could feel the bond on her. Heat bloomed inside her and Elain breathed in fresh sunlight.