#but i realized it didnt like fit the vibe of AG at all that i scrapped it

[eir-parade]

AGGRO (AG)

Vivid BAD SQUAD Adjacent Unit

A group of teenagers who have lost sight of their own dreams but have come together to discover one together.

Shinonome Akito - After learning of the truth of RAD WEEKEND, lost his way and dream but wants to find something. Lyricist.

Hinomori Shiho - After distancing herself from her friends and being too scared to reach out to them again, Shiho gave up her hope to become a professional but finds herself wanting to try to express her passion in another form. Partial Composer/Beats, spray painter.

Momoi Airi - Ex-Idol who hated not being able to be on stage and only used as a TV personality. Airi is angry and wants to be able to vent her frustration in some form. Choreography.

Kusanagi Nene - No longer feeling able to chase her dream to be a musical actress, Nene finds herself in arcades to pass the time but can’t help to get this music out of her head. Partial Composer/Beats.

SEKAI: Abandoned Arcade SEKAI

Can also be called the Rage Room SEKAI

As it’s called, an old Arcade, filled with broken down machines.

Dark, the only light really being the old hanging flourescents.

Seemingly can sense the frustration of the owners, and so will ‘spawn’ new machines for them to release their anger on.

First Virtual Singers

Hatsune Miku - Similar to VBS Miku. Despite being unsure of what she is doing, all she knows is that she wants to sing.

Kagamine Len - Not much of a singer but loves to express his emotions through art. He is specifically the one who inspires Shiho to do the exact same thing.

Virtual Singers

Order of Appearance (StC)

Kagamine Rin - Lazy and doesn’t ever feel like singing or dancing. All she ever really wants to do is sit down and play games. Gets excited when Nene comes to SEKAI with a new game for her to play. Represents that it’s okay to take breaks. (Appears in Main Story)

KAITO - AGGRO’S ONE MAN HYPE SQUAD. A professional in his own right, he cheers on the group constantly, believing that they will be able to attain what they want. They will be able to chase and catch their dreams. If they won’t believe in themselves, he will fill that space and be their hope.

MEIKO - Angry. All the time. She’s probably the reason the machines in the SEKAI are constantly broken. Supposed to represent that it’s okay to take out your frustrations sometimes but she doesn't really do it in a healthy way. Is always shouting at someone or straight up avoids them. Always drinking from a flash - is it alcohol? Is it coffee? Is it an energy drink? Who knows.

Megurine Luka - Calm and free-spirited. The opposite of MEIKO, represents that there is another way to take out their frustration other than through physical means. Luka offers an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean or cry on. She’s the one who offers the most helpful advice when the others need it.

Subject to Change as I go on figuring out this AU more.

[babieken]

Your description of the majority of men reactors 💀 Oh yes, catling benson is one of those I enjoy as well! I wasn't sure if you were referring to them because I still haven't watched their last video, but I had the feeling something was going on. I'm glad she's being transparent about how she feels.

I think reactors often happen to have particularly excited or dramatic reactions and get/feel pressured to have the same reaction to everything they watch, also to avoid toxic fans comments... I'm sorry (not sorry) but I blame young new kpop fans for this, especially those coming from twitter, where these reactors seem to find most (if not all) rude (or worse) comments. Of course not all of them are like this, I know and see so many that are not, they are respectful and behave in a more human and chill way, but there's a big portion that does, sadly.

Anyway. I'm all for reacting to a limited number of groups, if I were ever to do such thing, I would react to my favorites and occasionally others. However, I also realize that for many this is or becomes a job, and so the wider the public the better... About authenticity, for me it's quite fundamental otherwise I just feel like I'm wasting my time...

My fav reactors are (apart from the two i've already mentioned), the safe cave (they're also been pretty transparent with subscribers over time, took breaks when needed and made clear how and what they react to, definitely my number 1) and Lktv (he does bang his head lmao but I enjoy his reactions, he does comment a lot most of the time.)

Recently I saw a few reactions from millennial men and katriinka, a vocal coach. They seem good, at least from what I saw. I knew i forgot something 🤡 choreography! Idk why is so hard to find good dancers reactions... there's jeff avenue, there was a time he used to explain even more stuff and it was 👌👌👌 Musa is too much for me 💀 too much... I also find it exaggerated, also because it's like a standard for him to react that way. And when there's an important message behind he doesn't seem to catch it? I haven't watched all his videos, but some made me mad lol so I was like, "okay, enough, thank u next".

Exactly! Like it’s to be expected for someone who’s reacting to kpop for the first time to be blown away by pretty much everything bc kpop is just on a different level than western music videos, but after a while it becomes the norm and u have to start being real… otherwise whats the point?

Yeah i also think that toxic stans are a huge part of the problem but i think its time for ppl to stop tiptoeing around and trying to fit their content into a mold just to avoid toxic stans bc all that does is give them more power. (Obv its easy for me to sit here and say this but idk i feel like we need to just do our own thing until these toxic stans learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them and their faves)

Oooh ive seen kaia’s vids on search but i dont think ive ever checked any of them out! I’ll definitely give them a shot! And I actually watched lktv’s reaction to beautiful liar and as far as enthusiasm goes they were pretty decent but one thing that kind of gave me the ick was the random korean words they threw around (and the korean greeting) idk it just gave me koreaboo vibes kdkdkdk

I remember there was this one vocal coach reacts who had really long hair and he was pretty real. Like he clearly wasnt doing it to appease kpopies. Their main reaction content wasnt even kpop but i havent seen them around (tho i didnt look them up either) in ages. Yeah… im sorry jeff avenue’s reactions are boring too.

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

WAIT WAIT WAIT. I DIDNT REALIZE THERE WAS MORE THAN ONE SCREENSHOT. COULD I HAVE 15/18/33 AS A FLUFFY NAMJOON X READER PLEASE??? <3 LOVE YOU

haha. OKAY. YOU GOT IT BOO BOO💟 These prompts are all giving brat vibes and as a brat myself, I LOVE IT. 🤣

15. "Was that supposed to hurt?"

18. "Watch me."

33. "Prove it."

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Title: A Challenge

"You can't go and that's final."

Your mother's eyes flash dangerously, yet you don't back down, because she may be stubborn, but so are you.

You are her daughter after all.

"That's bullshit."

Her lips part and an angry puff of air escapes, her eyes darken even further. "Watch your language, young lady."

"A lot of good that will do me when I'm dead in the street somewhere because you never let me train with everyone else."

Something flashes across your mother's face at your words, and a pang of regret hits you, but it's gone before it's even had time to resolve, replaced by hot, burning anger.

"Leave me. Now."

You want to stay, want to argue more, but you know it won't do any good, so you leave the formal sitting room, angrily slamming the French doors behind you.

You'll definitely be lectured about that later.

Not even bothering to grab a jacket, you stomp outside into the secluded courtyard, tipping your head back to breathe deeply of the frosty winter air.

This has always been your safe spot-the small garden surrounded by tall hedges and steep banks of shore, the edge of the ocean somewhere in the distance, unseen but not unheard, waves crashing rhythmically.

One end of the courtyard is lined with dummies and targets-crude, menacing faces drawn on their sack cloth heads when your brothers were younger-the opposite side holding racks and racks of practice weapons-bows and swords and daggers and spears.

You pick up a bow-one of your favorites, the wooden handle worn smooth with time and use-and flex your fingers around it a few times, admiring the way the string, though slightly frayed by age, is still taut and supple in your hands.

You reach down for an arrow and knocking it into place easily, string the bow up at your shoulder, not hardly looking in the direction of the targets, before you're releasing the string with a loud snap.

The arrow embeds into the middle of one of the cloth dummy's foreheads with a muted thump.

Dead bullseye.

There is the sound of slow clapping in the silence that follows, and then a tall, dark figure drops down the embankment from beneath one of the trees, landing easily and lithely, like a jungle cat emerging from the night to hunt.

"Well done."

The deep timbre of the voice should startle you, but you hardly look up as the man approaches, stringing the bow with another arrow, casually inspecting the way your archery glove fits around your knuckles.

"Let me guess." Namjoon continues, voice teasing, as he circles around behind you and watches the way your fingers work the bow, like that of an old friend. "She still won't let you go."

"Nope." You pop out past your lips, and send another arrow into the head of the sack cloth man once more.

Namjoon chuckles, the sound a deep rumble beneath his breath, and reaches up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear with light fingers.

"I mean. I can train you. If you want."

You glance over your shoulder at him, the slight tilt of his lips, the way his copper irises-so entirely unhuman-glint in the fading afternoon sun, the absolutely otherworldly beauty of his perfectly proportionate features.

You can't see them, but you know, that the tips of his long white fangs are hidden just behind the pink, plump skin of his mouth, behind those entirely unassuming and incredibly too tempting lips.

You flick your eyes back down to the bow in your hands, weighing his idea.

Namjoon takes the silence as an opportunity to snake his arms around your waist, barely brushing your hips, as his fingers cover yours on the arch of the bow, and his skin is cold, but not colder than the air surrounding the two of you.

"You're literally the thing I'm supposed to be training against." You say with a slight snort, as he uses you like a puppet, raising your arms and nocking the bow once more. "This is a "family of monster hunters from a long line of monster hunters" as my father likes to say, remember?"

You know Namjoon doesn't miss the bitter sarcasm dripping from each of your words like drips of hissing poison at your feet.

Namjoon pulls your shared hands back and sends another arrow streaming through the air, splitting one of yours into two.

"I know." He muses, and his breath is warm on your neck, despite being a vampire and thus being literally dead. "But you're not like them. You're better than them. And it's time you showed them."

"Is that a challenge?" You quip back, and you see Namjoon smile out of the corner of your eye, the flash of his fangs igniting a fire within you.

"If you want it to be." There is the sound of a slight smirk coloring his next words. "I'd actually love to see you put all of those assholes in their place if I'm being honest. But only if you're up for it."

You pull away from him and shove the bow back into its slot on the wall, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare him down.

He raises one brow at you, waiting for whatever you're going to say next.

Dammit. Curse vampires and their effortless attraction without even having to try.

"Watch me."

Something sparks in Namjoon's gaze.

"Trust me, darling, I won't take my eyes off of you."

******

"You're not thinking far enough ahead. You have to focus."

Namjoon has you pinned against the wall-again-holding you in place with one hand against your throat, and you know, he could easily crush your windpipe with one flex of his fingers, but he's being uncharacteristically careful, only using enough strength to hold you there while you catch your breath, chest heaving.

"I'm trying!" You spit out, skin damp with sweat, suddenly wishing that the chilly morning air was cooler, or that there was a breeze or something.

"Prove it."

Namjoon's irises flash, darkening to a deep bronze, and he leans in close, nose practically skimming your own.

"You can't just try, you have to do. Trying isn't enough, it's never enough. If this were real, if I wasn't me, then you'd be dead."

You stare him down, eyes hard, but you know, you know, he's right.

You just don't want to admit it.

You let out a long, defeated sigh from between your teeth and Namjoon releases his hold on you, letting you away from the wall once more, and you stumble slightly straightening yourself.

Every muscle is screaming, your sword arm is hanging weakly, limp, by your side, and judging by the position of the sun, you've already been at this for hours, even though it's barely late morning.

Namjoon's gaze and voice are softer when he addresses you again, taking your chin in his long fingers, lips pressed into a thin line.

"I'm being shitty, I know. But it's because I don't want anything to happen to you. You need to be prepared. Any other vampire isn't going to stop a fight to let you catch your breath. On the contrary, they're going to use that moment of weakness to rip out your throat."

You glance down at your knuckles wrapped around the hilt of the curved sword, white and roughened from the cold.

"I know. You're right."

Namjoon nods, once, and then releases you, backing up to the other side of the courtyard again, rolling the sleeves of his sweater back up to his elbows once more.

You note briefly the shiny skin of old and healing scars streaking across his bronze skin, like shooting stars in the night sky, and then he's motioning you forward to attack.

"Okay, again."

*****

The coppery, slightly bitter taste of blood is in your mouth, and when you spit on the ground at your feet, the saliva is tinged crimson, shimmering in the early morning sunlight.

Namjoon's eyes are wide.

"Oh my god, I didn't mean-"

You stare down at your hands, clenched into fists, tight around the hilt of the sword, at the sight of your knee on the cold, wet ground, mud and slush already soaking through your pants, and something burns within you.

You push yourself back up to your feet and Namjoon simply stares at you.

"Was that supposed to hurt?"

You raise the sword again, though your muscles are trembling, and the fire in the pit of your stomach seems like an appropriate compliment to the warm blood still pooling in your mouth, leaking rapidly from your split lip.

You use that flame and the salty taste of your own blood to propel yourself past the exhaustion and toward Namjoon.

It's a blur, but suddenly his back is hitting the wall, and your sword is at his throat.

There is a brief moment of surprised silence between the two of you, nothing but the gasping sound of your own breaths and the pounding of your heart in your ears, and Namjoon is staring at you like he's seeing you for the first time, irises swirling, gaze dropping down your face to your still leaking lip.

"You said there's no breaks in real life." You breathe out quietly, chest still heaving, as you lock your gaze with his, hand unwavering at his neck.

"There's not." He murmurs, gaze flitting down your face once more to land on your mouth. "Congratulations. You beat me, darling."

You let the sword drop back to your side, but you don't move back from him, don't let your gaze fall from his.

Namjoon watches you carefully for a moment, and then reaches up purposefully, swiping the pad of his thumb across your swollen bottom lip, pulling it back to reveal the wet crimson staining his skin.

You can't help the slight smirk that curves your lips, ignoring the sting it causes in the still seeping wound.

"I bet this is killing you right now."

Namjoon chuckles, tips of his fangs flashing, making your stomach coil pleasantly.

"No. Give me a little more credit than that." He teases back beneath his breath, though neither of you have moved to create any sort of space between the two of you. "I wouldn't dare cross a monster hunter anyhow."

You tilt your head, you can see the playfulness in his eyes, such a human emotion, and reach out hesitantly to swipe a stray lock of dark hair back from his forehead.

He stays still beneath your touch as your fingers trace the line down his sharp cheekbones, over the bow of his lips, across the strong arch of his jaw.

"What if said monster hunter wanted you to cross them?"

Namjoon eyes you curiously, and his lips part, and you've never really noticed until now, but the motion causes slight dimples to peek out from the curve of his cheeks.

"Then I would say that said monster hunter would need to beat me in an archery match first."

Your lips curl, and something warm, like the flames from earlier, but softer now, reignites in your stomach at his words.

You let the curved sword drop to the ground at your feet and lift your chin, meeting the vampire's warm, teasing gaze.

"Is that a challenge?"

He grins, fangs on full display.

"If you want it to be."

[evacuationzone]

sorry i really liked the ending of we are who we are

i thought the kiss was a beautiful scene and made me really emotional. i know lots of people loved the show for a beautiful depiction of platonic love, but i think the kiss is a symbol for the depth of their relationship, for the levels of intimacy they share currently and the levels they could explore with a new dynamic to their realtionship. 

thinking back throughout the series, both harper and fraser gave me the vibe of demisexuality--where romantic feelings or sexual feelings develop after an intimate connection is formed. who really knows, since neither characters explicitly announce their sexuality. harper, for one, i might assume to be asexual, but demi romantic--as shown from their various interactions and kissing scenes, they always seemed uncomfortable engaging in this behavior with anyone but fraser. fraser kissed a few people, but the same goes for his encounters--none of them had passion in the way that this last scene had. 

regardless, its also important to remember that these are kids theyre like 14/15 years old--we dont know what they want as much as they dont know what they want. they’re also new to the ideas of dating all together--i remember at that age, to me and the community i lived in, dating basically just meant you were having sex with one person. it didnt incorporate levels of intimacy or understanding, it barely even incorporated romance into these relationships. regardless of how these characters identify with gender and with sexuality--the kiss ultimately shows their growing intimacy. it doesnt announce a new relationship sprouting between them, but it announces a new intimacy dynamic. they may become romantically involved, sexually involved, but none of that matters or else it would have been presented to us. the ending, and this episode, focuses on the ambiguity of being--one where there’s no boxes to fit in, no restrictions on self expression. in this fantasy world and adventure they share together, they realize who they really want to be, and who they want to be brings them together in a new and deeper way. 

i dont care if harper and fraser are dating, i dont care if theres a second season--this final episode shows the freedom of ambiguity, the freedom of living for yourself and finding who you want to be. this kiss at the end is their new exploration together--finally content with who they are, they begin a new adventure exploring themselves but together. i know the whole series might look like that, but it was harper’s gender exploration aided by the tools fraser provided them with. one could argue harper’s journey was an adventure holding hands with fraser--but this was not a shared experience. this was harper’s experience. so that’s why i think this episode was showing the end (or some closure) of the identity journey we follow throughout the series, and the beginning of a new journey, where both parties are guiding each other, as clueless as the other, and they face a journey from an equal place. 

[jakeperalta]

Hey! I realized I forgot to ask or say anything about The Very First Night. What do you think about it? At first I thought it was just okay but now I like it more. It reminded me of 22 sonically and my sister said Starlight so I guess it fits Red? The All Too Well film was amazing! I really felt the relationship, fight scene, the breakup. The scenes referenced in the lyrics. I kinda agree with your post about it being anyone and not just Taylor's relationship..I liked how she described it in an interview. She said its about when you're a young age trying to figure things out and about your first real love and how it happens to everyone or something like that. Then in an interview Dylan said he prepared by viewing the relationship and all relationships are complex with a lot of feelings. She became an author instead of a songwriter cuz Taylor didnt want to make it about herself but it had the same message. I'm proud of Taylor for even sharing the full song, writing and directing it..and the actors did an amazing job too. I wonder if she will do another music video like this..and which one would you want it to be for? I love all your recent gifs too!

TVFN wasn't one of the real standout vault tracks to me but I still like it a lot, I agree it fits with the country influenced pop on a lot of the album like 22.

the all too well film was fantastic! the song is emotional enough on its own but with the added visuals and dialogue it hits even harder. the performances are so good too. I like those descriptions of it by taylor and dylan, it does feel like quite a universal story and more just about the complexities of a young passionate unhealthy relationship than just like a biopic of taylor's relationship. it must have been weird for her sort of reliving those feelings and exposing herself even more with the added lyrics. I'd love to see more music videos or short films or really anything she wants to direct! I've seen a few people say dear john which is another of my favourite songs and would make an excellent film but has fairly similar vibes, so I think other ones with quite different vibes that never got videos but could be great would be getaway car or clean! what about you?

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Hi, silent reader of your blog and wonderful fanfictions here. I want to add a bit about Cullen Discourse TM and how it and similar things makes me afraid to interact with this fandom. I discovered Dragon Age during quarantine, so I'm new to the series. I genuinely like Cullen and his romance route because it's calm and mature, I didnt see Disney vibe and I like his arc overall. I AM straight and white (Italian) so I fit the "Cullenite stereotype", I'm afraid to post anything about Dragon Age.

This is why recent things in DA fandom have have put me on edge--because some people who are in fandom already don’t feel safe or feel judged for their innocuous choices on who to romance or side with in game, and people who may be new to the series and want to join in are afraid to post anything as well. (Heck I’m pretty sure talking to one of my friend’s about DA fandom has permanently turned her off from ever picking up the series) I’m so sorry you feel this way anon. However, please know I do guarantee that there are so many people here who truly just want to have fun and talk about our favorite characters and our OCs. 

On your second point, I very much agree with you, (posted something similar myself not too long ago.) his romance is calm, mature, and there’s no outside forces working against it or deep betrayal that muddies the waters. Just two mature people who are very much in love and mutually respect one another. At the time of my life I played the route for the first time I realized this was the sort of romantic storyline I needed, something calm and quiet. Then I wrote a longfic novelization of the romance and added a lot of drama to it. I actually view his arc has a deconstruction of a Disney-esque fairytale, but I think people who don’t like Cullen tend to focus on that aspect of him, because of his Disney-esque handsomeness and accessible romance route that’s not as dramatic as say, Solas or Blackwall, or as uh, kinky as Bull’s. 

And even though some people on tik tok and tumblr as well think that all Cullen fans are thirty year white old moms with failing marriage,(Which again, LOL if you think that’s old) I have been on here long enough to know it’s not true by a long shot. There’s a lot of nuance to us. And if you so happen to be the “stereotypical culleninte,” Cullen is a fictional character anyone can enjoy. 

[themeed]

damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.

im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.

and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.

and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.

anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.

and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.

not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.

once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.

it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.

they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.

we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...

are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.

and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.

so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.

not throw insults or punches or hatred.

what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.

but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.

these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.

Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...

i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.

because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.

i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.

depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.

i. i might do this. legitimately.

i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.

i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.

anyway. yeah. wow.

[eatyourfruitkids]

and i thought, oh shit, what about my hot female body?

my female ego was toxic. it wasn’t her fault, she thought her presence in my brain was necessary. my family never quit gave off the vibes that the one daughter, the one sister, was ever allowed to deviate from such a norm. though i love and loved him dearly, my twin brother’s role in my view of gender was one of contrast. from the youngest age, as in, when we were born, connor got the blue teddy bear, s***** got the pink one. later, when our mom dressed us, connor wore the hats and s***** wore the bows. connor got the bionacles for christmas, s***** got the zuzu pets. that was just the way it worked. i was a girl and he was a boy, after all.

it’s not like i ever really minded. i’ve always loved animals, hoarding their stuffed counterparts felt natural. my brother and i would play together, littlest petshop pets living in lego spaceships. our genders were defined, but we never let that separate us. i never let that grave burden, being a girl, bar me from playing with power rangers, even if i was immediately cast as the pink one.

in middleschool, something changed. i became hyperaware of my gender, though i never once questioned it. while i had always been a girl by default, now i was beginning to feel the social anxieties of a young, adolescent Girl. i stuggled greatly for an identity, finding one for a short while in anime fandoms and watching gaming letsplays (i never played; girls were bad at video games, as according to my three brothers. i just had shitty hand eye coordination, fuck me) and later in an obsession with emo bands and new cartoon network cartoons and being pansexual or a lesbian. my fashion sense was terrible until i saw cute girls on instagram wearing “aesthetic-y” clothes in seventh grade and decided to emulate them. this was just one of many instances of me confusing my attraction towards females as desire to be like them.

with today’s insight, i can say with confidence that i would far rather put my head in a nice pair of tiddies than own that nice pair of tiddies.

i came to realize that my female ego was a problem close to the time where i realized that smoking weed was the best shit ever. here, i’ll take a break to rip bong and reminisce on this night, the night of the smoke off. im kinda high rn lol but its okay i turned adult recently lol. anyways *bong rip*

ok anyways sry

i didnt realize being a girl was a problem for me when i first started smoking weed. in hindsight, i now know that smoking everyday longterm while mistakenly identifying as female highlighted some less-than-savory areas of my psyche. 

my dysphoria makes me think that people are simping for me, sometimes when they’re not. although i am a sad, emo, five-foot-seven twitter meme cat boy of a trans “man,” i’m a cute nerdy stoner girl with winged eyeliner n a sexy female body, relatable-if-severe social anxiety and a porn addiction i’m, unfortuately, not always too shy to talk about.

long story short, something i now know to be dysphoria pushed me to start Smoking Weed With The Boys frequently, and something called dysphoria-plus-my-female-ego created this weird, unhealthy narrative that my friends only all liked me bc i was Hot Sessy Girl and they were only friends with me to hold out past my sweet, sunshiney (beta?) bf. this narrative fucked with me (probably because it wasnt true and created by the same part of my anxious brain that would repress my fucking transness, also because i love and care for my bf and felt terrible “letting this continue”) and yet, i continued hanging out with The Boys (besides when sometimes id flake on everyone for periods of time bc i felt Too Bad for bf lol) not even for attention-- although sometimes id get it, word-- even if it was magnified through the lens of my dysphoria, but because i had this deep urge to fit in with them. 

besides having a legit problem with the way i use weed and being high literally all the time, i wasn’t a huge “stoner” by my town’s standards. 

so, without getting into the elaborate details of my life and my twin’s cool fucking weed basement and my real life picture of marilyn monroe’s tiddies, The Boys had a smoke of at my house. i realized i wasn’t that much of a stoner when i got too high (something that deadass never fucking happens) and violently shook for like thirty minutes until my friends sent me upstairs for ice, i put on a hoodie, looked in the mirror and realized id prefer life as a boy.

it could’ve been because my toxic, ill-built stoner female woker-than-u ego had finally been popped, kinda like a bubble, or it could be because i was wearing a crop top and had gone silent because i was fixated on how i wished boys wore crop tops, and the hoodie had alliviated that. 

now i only think one friend simps for me, but hes such a nice dude that i could never say anything, fuck. hes such a homie tho if i were ever single id take his v card as a favor lmao

i figured out what i wanted to be called that night, 

stu. idk if its short for stuart, which is gross but fuck it, or if i want to be a stew/art or what the fuck but. stu.

a few friends and no family know. i chopped my hair off and a binder is on route. im lifting weights w one of the boys.

happy adulthood to me

[byjove-cannibalcove]

Hannibal AU for @pragnificent​

will is called in to find the person responsible for the murder of roughly 15 people over the course of a single weekend up in new jersey The killings were really brutal, and disproportionately targeted a home where a party had been taking place, as well as a single police officer who had arrived to check in on them preliminary assumption is that it was a large group of people, possibly an occult ritual slaying of some kind, especially because it happened on friday the thirteenth and the teenagers had been having a scary movie watching party for some reason so anyways they get up there and are looking at the carnage and trying to figure out how the hell most of these murders were even pulled off, since it includes things like 'cut a head from someones shoulders' and 'a 6'4" football player was thrown onto a spike' and shit like that naturally they look into it and find out that there has been large scale killings in this general area every ten years or so for 30 years or so that the first one was the only one where the killer was caught (a little old woman, motivations unknown) and that while there is usually at least 1 survivor of each attack the survivor is in all cases driven too insane by the events to accurately describe anything that had happened (though for what its worth they, for the most part, do not tell cohesive stories, so you cant listen to them anyways) so anyways will is out here trying to get a vibe, get a feel for the person that did this, trying to understand why he targeted these people hes fifuring out shit like 'yeah this cop was a serial abuser' and 'a lot of these teenagers show evidence of having been having a lot of sex and underage drinking and drug use beforehand, all of which appears consentual' that the kids with records of wrong doing and bad reputations were killed most violently, that those that seem like good kids were mostly killed quickly and pretty painlessly and wills preliminary feelings are 'this killer was... driven... but not calculated... almost childish.. ' this leads team science to be like 'okay so like a fellow teenager?' and then argue like 'only if they are a GIANT teenager, we are talkign 6'5" based on some of these swings" and wills like no no not a teenager, like, an actual child, think Home Alone, a child with no concept of torture but who just wants to make the bad people go away, who feels like hes defending his home which leads the group to be like 'okay potentially a giant disabled person, cant be too many of those secreted away in the area' wills going out to sit by the lake days later and thinking how beautiful it is, how peaceful, serene, like you could just float out into the water here and stare at the moon and never look away he finds a used condom in the reeds by the dick, curls his nose in disgust, imagining them fucking in the water, or on the dock, how vulgar it would be there are homes along this lake, not here exactly but visible in the distance at the far other end. this is a big long lake with many nice little divots like this one, so many people live along it and have never been hurt, many families, lots of vacation homes. the only families that were ever killed on this lake usually lived there for a decade, more, before it happened, kids that were raised in those homes only killed during a party when they were vulgar when they disrespected the lake disrespected nature ruined it with their noise and their wild parties, drug use just the sort of thing a little old lady in 1979 might find worthy of death, might be driven mad by it takes a while but eventually they will dig up the information of the little old lady having had a disabled  son, jason, who drowned in the lake a few years before Mrs vorhees went on her rampage, the information that he had drowned while attending a summer camp, while the teenagers on duty werent watching him hes long dead btu will latches onto it, that it fits perfectly, they tell him hes losing it will starts channeling mrs vorhees, wandering around the lake, whispering to her boy, cleaning up trash he finds on the lake shore mrs vorhees was by all accounts an incredibly kind woman, a bit of a radical even, very environmental, a bit of a hippie, kind to strangers, lover of children, cherished and adored her disabled son, wouldve loved this lake and the clean air, the beautiful nights would have wanted the lake to be clean, to stay quiet will spends all night cleaning the lake for no reason at all other than an odd compulsion to see at least one small section of it be as nice as it would have looked to Mrs vorhees eyes how she would have taught it to her son, to cherish that will is sort of losing his mind, snapping at everyone, he hates loud noise and drinking right now, doesnt like how careless it makes everyone, is avoiding drinking himself for now at least but the clarity hurts, he is staying up at night in dirty hotel rooms and wishing he was outside under the clear sky, he buys a tent and puts it up down by the lake, in the area he cleaned he knows he shouldnt, there is a killer on the loose in the area, but will knows he isnt what the killer is looking for in the night he sees a shadow go over his tent, thinks he hears the crunch of a boot in the leaves, he holds his breath, cant move he sees a knife cutting through the fabric and tenses but when he looks again the tent is fine he realizes hes sleep paralyzed and sits up suddenly in burst of motion, throws open the tent flap, stumbles into the clearing its empty the lake reflects the white face of the moon at him. their eyes meet and it is beautiful he returns to the hotel room with the sunrise and as he climbs the stairs the phone in his pocket rings, the door to his room is wide open, jack stands inside with the phone to his ear he sees the tent under wills bag he thinks will is losing it, it is insane to camp by the lake when there is a killer on the loose there will doesnt have an excuse jack tells him that they found the cemetary that jason was buried in (very difficult because records from the time are so fucking spotty and it was a tiny family cemetary for a family that no longer exists) and that he was clearly marked as a drowning victem, dead at age 10, so no, its not mrs vorhees son, and there are no relatives, so scrap that, they are back to square one jack orders will to go home and talk to hannibal because being here is not very helpful right now if hes gonna do crazy shit like camp next to the murder lake will talks to hannibal about it, with as much honesty as possible, and how certain he is that its jason hannibal convinces jack to exume jason. there is no living family to protest and it will settle will enough to get will back on track and stop focusing on it. jack agrees in a very irritated way they go to do it (jack team science will and hannibal as well, as support for will) and... yeah there is no casket in that spot. empty grave. a marker and nothing else. holy shit somethign something something eventually they manage to link shit up like 'okay maybe it was jason that killed the second camp full of counselors in training-- the person was described as a  teenager, small in stature with a bag to hide their face. the killer in the 3rd instance was a grown man who slaughtered a fuckton of people over the course of a FEW days, and then was killed by a small child who fucked his head up so much that there was nothign identifiable left, not even teeth, so no one ever knew their identity, it literally might have been jason, it totally could have been a huge disabled man living in the woods  and no one ever knew about it ((we are gonna pretend 'jason lives' didnt happen)) anyways its basically decided that 'yeah it literally might have been jason vorhees, growing up alone in the woods, who committed most of those murders... but hes dead now so this is a new killer' and its a very frustrating thing because jack is like 'cool we just answered some cold case files btu we still dont know wtd happened last weekend' and will is like NO I SWEAR IT STILL FEELS LIKE THE SAME GUY And is trying to claim that 'maybe the person that was killed by the kid was someone else'   'an accomplice?'    'no no this person-- jason-- he is entirely alone. only the memory of his mother. only her touch guiding his hands, only her words in his ears, he cant listen to anyone else, he cant... he cant collaborate' and hannibal sits with him out on the lake, lets will row out in a boat with him Will imagines Mrs Vorhees, feels the way she must have felt, looking out at this beautiful lake, the one that nearly her son from her, beautiful and calm and tranquil, while the teenagers behind her loudly partied, drank, didnt have a care in the world, and his teeth bare at the idea, and he hates them too, hates the way they would look at her son if they knew he was alive Hannibal, sitting across and watching him, tells will thatthe lake is beautiful ((of course hes looking at will rather than the water haha)) will tells him its deep and cold will looks deep into the water and sees the drowning boy. blinks to wash the image away. blinks again. again. "Hannibal??" hannibal asks what will sees will jumps in the water reaches for child jason snags the hand of an adult dragging him down its beautiful here one blue eyes looks into his, startlingly clear hannibals arms snag will around the middle and pull him back to the boat jason lets go without fuss ((he just wanted to touch wills hand, will who for a few moments had looked, to jason, like his mother)) back at shore will tells hannibal this, and he is shakign and shivering and frightened of the lake and of himself, because he must really be fucknig losing it asks for comfirmation that hannibal didnt see anyone in the lake hannibal does not give will that confirmation he asks if will is seeing ghosts will says its more like spirits "a lake spirit, then?" its such a silly thought but somehow will ends up out at the lake the next night, hannibal at his side. hannibal has dressed down, a warm cream sweater over his dress shirt for the late october chill, will in flannel, and they set up wills tent and clean the area around their campsite meticulously. hannibal warms food he brought from home over the fire and will fishes, cleans and guts his catch, the knife catching the white face of the moon as it flicks over the scales in the dark night will stands, jus tinside the circle of light by the fire, and channels mrs vorhees "Jason... jaaaasonnn" nothing he thinks hannibal will laugh at him, but he doesnt he concentrates more on the image in his mind, the kindly smile she wore in the photos he saw of her, the fierce protective instinct that lay behind those eyes, the fact that jason is out here, alone, confused, scared, and he feels protective of him too "Jason.. come here" a tiny intake of breathe behind him, and wills blinks his eyes open and Jason stands before him. not a child. a man. Tall. huge. a giant he is wet, the only sound he makes the slow dripping of lake water from his clothes onto the ground below. his clothes are ragged and encrusted with leaves and dirt. his face is covered by a battered hockey mask. the skin beneath it is grey the image is a terrifying one, the stuff of nightmares but he isnt a monster he is wills son will holds out his arms "Jason, come here" jason is still for a time, tilting his head only slightly as he tries to work out what will is, who he is but he comes slowly he is so much larger that will, but he kneels, down on one knee, looking up at will one blue eye shining, searching wills face for something will wraps his arms around him "My special boy" jason shudders and melts into the hug, mask pressed to wills stomach the machete drops to the ground, huge hands press to wills back, so gently, like will is made of glass, something too precious to jason to risk hurting will tells him that he knows he was scared, was confused, was lost and alone for so so long that he thought he had to be that way but he doesnt that he can come home with will he doesnt have to stay here anymore, he doesnt have to wait Jason makes a sound, the first sound he has made so far, a small, a tiny little sob, and his shoulder loosen, like a great weight has left his shoulders he seems to shrink in wills arms, and for a moment will is holding a child and then his arms are empty but not cold there is a warmth in him, something between his lungs, love, peace, hope, life in a way he has never before experienced it will wants to cry but it feels more like happy tears he holds them at bay, sniffles once, wipes his eyes with sleeves filthy with lake water arms wrap around him from behind, and it is hannibal again, pulling at him, and will turns, melts into hannibals hug, lets himself cry they dont stay the night at the lake, they pack up their campsite, put out the flames, walk through the darkness to the car, will being led behind hannibal by the hand like a child, too shaky and full to do it himself later, in therapy, they talk about it, briefly, and agree that jason is somewhere better now, that the killings will stop, that they dont need to tell jack about this, that jason was a special boy, a good boy who loved his mother very much, that maybe they are together now, somewhere and when will looks out at the moon from his porch that night, he feels a presence just behind him, a warm, protective presence, who is looking up at the moon with him, and he knows its true

[bittysvalentines]

Love in the Morning

From: @ivecarvedawoodenheart

To: @amessnamedwidogast

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 2461

I hope you like it!! I had a really good time with this :) Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Summary:

“Don’t you dare, you had better not, I’ll call your dad and the press, I’ll tell ‘em—” “I think ‘Jack Zimmermann helps out teammate with checking drills’ would be a good headline, actually. I give you my blessing.” “Not when you’re threatening to pour water all over me you big ole—” “‘Big ole’ what, exactly?” ___________________________

Zimbits, from Bitty’s POV. Focusing primarily on waking up in the morning.

(AO3)

Someone throws a pillow at his face. Bitty jolts upright, looking around wildly, almost falling out of bed. It better not be — oh Lord, he’s gonna murder him —

“Bon matin, Bittle.”

Bitty check his watch and screams internally.

“Jack, were you dropped as a child? Is that why you feel the need to force me out of bed at four in the morning?”

He thinks Jack raises his eyebrows. It’s hard to be sure when it’s so dark in here, but the vaguely Jack-sized blob in the doorway gives off a distinctly amused vibe.

“My uncle Wayne did, actually,” Jack says. “My parents forbade him from holding me until I could do backwards crossovers.”

“Mmph.” Bitty closes his eyes and pulls his blankets up under his chin. “Go bother Shitty, Mr. I’m-Friends-With-NHL-All-Stars. I have a test today.”

Jack says, “That was yesterday, Bittle.”

“I could have another one today, Zimmermann.”

“You, having a test and not tweeting about it? Impossible.”

Bitty cracks open an eye at that. “It’s too early for you to be chirpin’ this much,” he says, but he swings his legs out of bed and lets Jack bundle him off to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wake up somewhat. They’re on their way to the rink, Bitty in an oversized Pens sweatshirt because he couldn’t find one of his in the dark, before he realizes that means Jack reads his tweets.

____________

“I’m asleep, my eyes are closed, go away Jack, can’t you see I’m sleeping—”

“You’d be much more convincing if you weren’t talking, Bittle. You’ll have time after to take a nap, let’s get at it—”

“Oh my god . ‘Let’s get at it’? Are you actually eighty years old—”

“Yes, okay, Old Man Zimmermann, ha ha, that hasn’t been played out. If you really want to make fun of me you’ll get your butt to the rink, that’ll really show me.”

Bitty scowls at him when they get to the locker room. Jack laughs, just once, and it’s so surprised and quick a sound that Bitty almost misses it. He wants to hear it again.

____________

Midnight, and there’s a knock at his door. Bitty presses Señor Bun tighter to his chest and wipes his eyes hastily, catching his French book before it slides to the floor. “Yeah?”

“Can I … can I come in?”

The door makes it difficult to hear, but he thinks it’s Jack. He squeezes his eyes shut, biting his lip. Then he forces himself to perk up as best he can.

“Of course! Why’re you up? It’s so late.”

Jack eases the door open and shut behind him. Bitty watches him scan the room, taking in the flashcards strewn across his bedspread and his laptop. He wishes he hadn’t left it open on Google Translate.

Jack rubs the back of his neck. A little sliver of his shirt rides up, and Bitty knows this shouldn’t be anything — they’ve all seen too much of each other in the locker room — but it’s almost too much on top of everything. His hair sticks up in all directions. Bitty holds Señor Bun tighter to keep from crossing the room and making his hair even wilder.

“Your light’s still on,” Jack says. He looks so unsure of himself here. Bitty’s not sure he’s ever been in his room outside of waking him at godforsaken times in the morning. “I wanted to, euh. Make sure everything’s okay.”

“I’m fine,” Bitty says quickly. Jack shoots him an unimpressed look, first nodding to Bitty’s flashcards, then raising his eyebrows at the clock. “Well. Not quite okay, but. I will be fine, which is what matters.”

Jack still doesn’t look like he believes him, but when he crosses the room to sit on the bed, his face softens. He picks up a flashcard with le fromage written on it. “You’re learning food words?”

“Oui,” Bitty says. Even that has such a pronounced twang to it. He sighs. “I’ll be honest, it’s not going great.”

He’s fiddling with the card now, flipping it back and forth, playing with the corners. Bitty watches him gather the rest of the flashcards in a neat stack and shuffle them.

Jack says, “I can quiz you,” and Bitty’s about to cry again.

He wipes his eyes. “You don’t have to.”

It must catch in his voice, because Jack looks up then. His eyebrows crease. “I mean — I don’t want to overstep, but. I do speak French, so.”

“Oh do you?” Bitty asks, and Jack rolls his eyes. He tosses a card at him and le jus hits him in the Adam’s apple. Bitty swallows reflexively.

He doesn’t think he imagines how Jack watches him.

Jack bumps their knees together. “If you want,” Jack says softly. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay,” Bitty whispers. He clears his throat. “If you’re fine with how badly I’m going to pronounce these words, that is.”

“I’ll live,” Jack says.

Bitty smacks him with his pillow, and he laughs quietly. A little thrill runs through Bitty at the sound.

“Okay, Bittle,” Jack says. “Let’s do this.”

____________

In the morning, Jack yawns loudly in the faint morning light and says, “Up and at ‘em, let’s go—”

“You can’t be serious,” Bitty says, grumpy. “We were up the whole night doing flashcards and you took up the whole bed, I didn’t get to sleep for a second.”

“That’s a lie, you snored the whole time, I didn’t—”

“You and your big ass stole all the blankets, I couldn’t’ve snored because I have to be asleep for that—”

“Couldn’t’ve? Are you joking—”

Jack goes on a rant about how difficult it is to understand him, and then how hard it must be to understand either of them, and then segues into a scheme to confuse everyone next time they come back from a break and their accents are stronger. Bitty chimes in now and then. Mostly, though, he drinks in how this feels: Jack in his bed, flashcards still everywhere — there’s one stuck to Jack’s cheek now, he thinks it’s les fraises — and his eyes still sleep heavy.

Bitty wants this so badly he outright gasps in the middle of Jack’s sentence.

“You okay, Bitty?”

“Fine,” he says, trying to push the feeling aside. “You’re kidding though, right? About checking practice today?”

Jack holds out a hand in a may I? gesture that Bitty doesn’t understand until he pouts, glancing at Señor Bun. Bitty hands him over tentatively. Jack tucks Señor Bun neatly under his chin, cuddling him with his eyes closed, and this all but knocks the air out of Bitty.

“‘M joking,” Jack says. Beneath the covers, Bitty feels him gently nudge his side with an elbow. “‘M tired. Bonne nuit.”

“No French when I’m trying to sleep, Mr. Zimmermann,” he says softly. Jack nudges him again.

He drifts off. In his dreams, he sees Jack holding Señor Bun like he’s something precious.

____________

Bitty has Canadian bacon on the stove when Jack stumbles downstairs. He quietly pours himself some orange juice, then Bitty feels rather than sees him join him at the stove.

“There’re some eggs in the fridge,” Bitty says, “if you wanna do somethin’ with them.”

He bumps his shoulder against Jack’s chest just to touch him and prove to himself that they’re standing here, together. Jack’s golden in the dewy morning sun.

“Your checks are getting better,” he says then, and Bitty says, “Oh, shush, you.”

Jack scrambles some eggs and fries some, and it’s peaceful between them.

____________

“Don’t you dare, you had better not, I’ll call your dad and the press, I’ll tell ‘em—”

“I think ‘Jack Zimmermann helps out teammate with checking drills’ would be a good headline, actually. I give you my blessing.”

“Not when you’re threatening to pour water all over me you big ole—”

“‘Big ole’ what, exactly?”

“I — it’s early, okay? My mouth hasn’t woken up yet.”

“Seems like it has to me.”

Bitty crawls out of his blankets at that, cheeks burning. “You tryin’ to tell me I talk too much?”

Jack takes a sip of water. “No, I’m trying to tell you to get your ass out of bed so we can go to Faber before the early skate. Do you think I enjoy being up at four?”

“Yes.”

“Well.” He tilts his head to the side. “Look, it’s prime running time—”

Bitty narrows his eyes. “Jack Laurent Zimmermann, you could get mugged—”

“—not if I’m running faster than my mugger, which is what I was about to say when I was so rudely interrupted, and how else am I to outrun a mugger than to practice running?”

He looks so pleased with his logic. Bitty says, “People like you are what’s wrong with this country,” and he grins broadly.

“I’m Canadian, remember?”

Bitty beats him for the first time in their end of practice race.

____________

Bitty’s alarm wakes him for the first time in ages, which of course means Jack died or something because no way in hell would he miss an opportunity to push him into the boards for an hour and a half.

Lord. He wouldn’t mind being pushed against the boards.

He’s had enough dreams that end up against the boards, for various reasons, and … he shouldn’t be thinking this, now, but.

He checks the weather and his school email and then, shivering, pads across the hall.

“Jack?” An answering mmph gives him the okay to open the door, so he does. He blinks to adjust to the darkness. Jack peeks blearily out from his blankets. “They’ve called classes for the day, it’s too cold out.”

Jack says, “Mmph,” and Bitty connects the dots. “You knew that already, I’m sorry! I’ll just—”

“Bittle.”

Bitty stops midway to the door.

“Yeah?”

Jack jerks his head toward the bed, peeling back his blankets. “It’s cold,” he mumbles, “c’mon.”

Bitty’s heart about stops. His mouth moves wordlessly for a few seconds before his mind catches up from where it stopped on Jack’s asking me to get in bed with him .

“Are you sure?” he asks, and Jack nods.

“No point losing more body heat,” he says sleepily. “Besides. My bed’s bigger than yours, we’ll fit fine.”

“Chirp chirp.”

So Bitty does. He climbs into his bed carefully, trying not to jostle Jack too much. Jack clumsily tucks the blankets around them and when Bitty tugs on the covers himself, their hands brush. Jack squeezes his briefly, then lets go. Bitty shivers again, but not from the cold.

“Oh — here —” Jack shifts his pillow and then presses a balled up sweatshirt into Bitty’s hands. “If you want.”

It’s the Pens sweatshirt he’d borrowed months ago. It still smells like him. The fact of Jack, sleeping with this so close to his face, breaks so sweetly in Bitty’s chest. He pulls it on.

“Thanks,” he whispers.

Jack says, “Mmph,” but Bitty can see him smiling slightly.

____________

Bitty wakes up after graduation to two texts. They’re timestamped 4:02 AM.

They say,

I’m sorry if it’s too early to say this , but I’ve been wanting to tell you for awhile now

I think I fell in love with you in the morning

He touches his lips with his fingertips and wonders when it was he got so stupid lucky.

________________________

A pillow lands on his face, yanking him out of a stress dream about playoffs.

Something in their bedroom smells delicious. He opens his eyes and blinks to be sure he isn’t dreaming.

Jack’s filled their nightstands with plates and plates of food. There’s a heap of pancakes stacked high and half buried under blueberries and strawberries and what smells like 100% Canadian syrup on one of them, and toast shining beautifully with butter stacked next to eggs cooked every which way of the other. Jack himself is sitting at Bitty’s feet, wearing the Schooners shirt Bitty had gotten as a signing perk two years back. It still looks so, so good on him. Bitty’s never gotten over the thrill at seeing Jack in a shirt with his last name on it.

“Oh sweetheart,” Bitty says, yawning. “How did you—”

“I have my ways,” Jack says, handing him a plate and Bitty smiles.

“It all smells so good.”

“That’s only because you missed about an hour of me burning everything on the stove.”

Bitty throws up his hands in mock exasperation. “This boy.”

Jack crawls next to him and leans against the headboard. He rests his arm around Bitty, pulling him gently against his side, and presses a kiss to the side of his head. “Your boy, you mean,” he says, and Bitty about melts.

“For half a second there I thought you were wakin’ me up for checking practice again,” Bitty tells him, after they’ve kissed a little.

Jack says, “I still could,” and Bitty kisses him some more to distract him. From the way he huffs a laugh, he knows Jack knows what he’s doing. “Though you don’t really need it now.”

“Yeah, I had a really good, really strict captain for that.”

They’re quiet a moment while they eat. Bitty sneaks peeks at Jack now and then, liking the way the sun still loves him. Jack catches him a few times and chirps him softly.

“I don’t think I ever told you,” Bitty says, when they’ve stacked all their dishes out of the way. “It was when you said you read my tweets, for me. Or with Señor Bun that first night in my bed, when you looked at him like he was a new bucket of pucks.”

“When…” Jack starts, frowning a little. Bitty waits for him to puzzle it out, leaning fully against him now. He sees the realization before Jack says it. “Oh,” Jack says. “When you…”

“When I fell in love with you,” Bitty says simply. “That was when.”

Jack tips his chin up with two fingers and Bitty savors this kiss more than any other they’ve had, except for the one after that one, and the one after that.

“I love you,” Jack says afterward. He presses their foreheads together.

Bitty says, “I love you no matter how many eggs you burn,” and Jack laughs another quick, surprised laugh. Hearing now is even better than the first time.

Jack helps him out of bed and they wash the dishes together, stopping now and then to bump into each other and kiss softly and be at home here, together in their kitchen with the sun just coming up. Even after all this time, this feels like the start of something.

Bitty takes Jack’s hand as the radio plays. They stay like this, dancing their way through cleaning up, well past when the sun rises fully in the sky.

________________________

[shesawriter39049]

“Underdog” Hoseok (M) AU One shot

Producer X Artist AU CONCEPT/BACKGROUND STORY

-Song inspiration “Underdog” by Banks (The song will fit the theme in multiple ways)

ANGST/SMUT/FLUFF/ADULT/SENSITIVE THEMES/ NON BTS IDOL AU, BUT IT IS REFERENCED THAT HE WAS AN IDOL

Just throwing out this  ROUGH concept, seeing if you guys would be interested..I made a post saying I wanted to do a Hoseok (M) AU one shot over the next month or so that was more than just smut. Then this idea came to mind, let me know if your interested...and still feel free to send in scenarios as I’m not necessarily dead set on this one.  

** PS Hobi’s tatted in this concept....jus sayin ...like..full sleeve...back piece...aka torture

Hoseok -is a 27 Y/O producer/ mentor, who was born in LA but raised in Korea, who also happens to be an ex Idol. Started his Kpop career at the age of 14, and retired at 21. Now he’s currently a producer, creative director, mentor and occasional choreographer for artist all throughout Asia. Recently he’s been dealing with a lot of Non-Idol artist, enjoying the freedom of being able to creative whatever sound he pleases..not having to worry about always fitting into some cookie cutter box.One of his biggest regrets during his career as an Idol was he didnt feel like his management had HIS or his members best interests at heart. Yet he never spoke up..too afraid he’d lose everything he worked so hard for. At times it felt like it was only about the profit as if they forgot with him there would be no profit. He never wanted anyone he worked with to feel like that, he wanted them to know that there health, sanity and happiness is more important that there “Job”.  I guess, in sense he wanted to try and protect them from the things that he wasn't protected from..

He’s been wanting to branch out a little step outside of his comfort zone and work with more artist over in the states. As of Late Hoseok’s been feeling like he’s lost his drive, his inspiration to keep creating,almost feeling as though he's just working on autopilot. The past two songs he’s produced have received mediocre reviews as opposed to what he’s use too, and unfortunately he wasn’t even remotely surprised. Not sure what the hells gotten into him, how he got to the point of almost not enjoying his job anymore, maybe that’s because all he had was work, too busy for anyone or anything else for the past couple years. That’s when One of the lables he often works for offered him a change of scenery.  He’s been asked to spear Y/N’s new project, her comeback if you will, as she’s signed to the partner label over in the states. But not only as her producer, but also almost as her ”Right hand” If you will..be everything she needs to reinvent herself musically. Only problem is she already has her own “Hoseok” but his name is Hayden...he’s been with here since pretty much the beginning and she has no clue he’s about to step down and leave the future of her career in the hands of someone she doesn't even know nevertheless trust. Not to mention that Hoseok also has his own issues that he still hasn’t fully worked out..maybe that’s why he tries so hard to help other people….So I guess we'll see how long he can keep his “sunshine” front up before she calls him on his own bluff.

Y/N- ...Is 25, born in New York, her first album came out when she was 14. Jojo vibes, Pop/R&B the girl can sing...and write...and dance actually she was the full package. Her first album did exceptionally well and 2 years later so did her 2nd. When she was 19 when the first single debuted for her third album..the single did amazing, yet something changed….actually a lot changed. She pretty much went MIA out of nowhere,  her album was never released..it actually got leaked and she never tourd or promoted it. She actually got dropped by her label about 2 years after that, not that she could blame them. They lost a shit ton of money on that album, as of the past 3 or so years she's slowly started to step back into the limelight. Regaining some popularity due to her her social media presence. Thanks to Instagram even people who were too young to know her music , or just never heard of her were starting to follow her just based off of her looks/fashion. Also the little covers she’d upload here and there, still never publicly speaking out as to what happened and why she disappeared at pretty much the peak of her career. A lot of rumors circulated,  drugs,depression,pregnancy, you name it. She has hinted at certain things within the new music she’s created and post via soundcloud, but has never given a formal statement. After seeing the interest start to creep back up the label reached out to her, offering her another contract. This time around if she flakes out, or can't deliver and promote a completed project on her end they've made it clear that there going to sue her for damn near everything she has.

Now she’s supposed to trust  someone who knows absolutely nothing about her..who's also technically never solo managed someone else! To pretty much spear head her career. Not to mention  she still has her own demons that she’s dealing with on a daily basis and will be forced to explain to a stranger, great!

Little do they both know, if they can make this work, and not kill each other in the process..this could do a lot of healing for the both of them. As he starts to realize he needs her just as much as she does him. Even if neither of them want to admit it off rip…Not that there partnership starts out on a good foot to begin with...since as I mentioned...she has no idea Hoseok is even in the picture. Until all three of them meet for what she  assumed was just a casual business meeting….in downtown LA...where there's paparazzi all over the place. So of course they had a front row seat to all the drama, I guess all press is good press right??!

This will have a lot of sensitive topics...pertaining to both Hoseok and the OC...this is (M) so yes there will be smut..probably multiple smutty moments  as I feel like, in there situation they would ease into it. Kinda like a slow burn, If there interest I’ll start writing it, and if I feel like this is something that she be a multi installment..that that’s what it will be…but no promises...not sure how this will pan out length wise...

Let me know what you guys think,

Love you guys as always,

Rocki

Also in my mind the OCs current style of music is very similar to Banks/Devon Baldwin...

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: [sends her the posts because no other way she'd see them] Rio: Shit, girl Rio: I was worried it might go down like this Indie: she's so extra Indie: never should have let him in the door Indie: the feds are gonna be hardcore @ it now Rio: Surely she let him out Rio: stupid woman Rio: but that's gonna pale in comparison now so Rio: What's Drew doing about it? Indie: boy was begging for a sick time & i gave it but its on me not him 😒😒 hold ur liquor u tourist Indie: hes flat roofin but other than that no thing to 👀 Indie: it b early tho & we all had a late Rio: They're a 24/7 services though, babe Rio: he'll be wanting to move his stash and generally clear his act up for the visit Rio: you too Indie: is it? on hols too thats a madness Indie: yeah the drum be clear of all his goods like that Indie: idk man mayb its chill like she gonna post that & not post up no harder than Rio: They might take xmas day off maybe but you know Rio: business as usual for all jan 1st Rio: well that's something Rio: maybe, but bitches like that LOVE making complaints about everything so maybe not Indie: she do have that talk to the manager vibe Indie: i done fucked up real didnt i? Rio: big time karen Rio: nah, in the eyes of everyone it's Drew that did Rio: but they won't be able to prove the drugs bit if they're gone so it's not enough to take you, a party gone wrong, bad judgment but maybe we can swing it that he was here somehow Rio: hmm Indie: but like he had mad trust for me & i brought him mad problems Rio: they're grown problems, he's big enough to fix 'em Indie: u too making ur nite go off on a real turn Indie: bet ur boy is bare vexed Rio: you know i'd rather you ring me than let it go more tits Rio: what are big sisters for Rio: but yeah, didn't even see him in the end so he ain't stopped Indie: innit Indie: tell him he can hit me up for something to take off that edge Indie: debts be paid around here Rio: um you ain't supposed to have no thing 'scuse you Rio: there's a plan here Indie: i gots places & heads to trust in Rio: nah, I'll make it up to him, don't worry 'bout that Indie: 😉😉😉 Rio: 😏 shush lil girl Indie: grown problems ur big enough to fix i kno 💋🤤🤤 Rio: so thirsty, go hydrate Rio: know you need to 😘 Indie: rude i got lipsed by bare boys last nite they were rigging dem bottle spins cos im 🔥🔥 dont b tryna put me out Rio: you need to cool off for a minute, bitch Rio: you in trouble Indie: not wit u Rio: yeah, don't push it 😉 Indie: 💔😢😢 dont do me like that on day 1 of the year 🙏🙏🙏 Rio: it started HOURS ago and I was still here with you cleaning blood out the carpet Rio: don't talk to me about day 1s when I'm clearly ride or die Indie: u kno im good for ious & i got mad love Rio: 🧡 Rio: i'm good really Rio: let's sort the actual situation Indie: u gonna charm the social for me? Rio: give it my best Indie: safe ✌✌ Rio: probably the straightest middle-aged lady Rio: so more likely your da will have to get on it Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: what drew b good for Rio: init tho Indie: we all been knew Indie: he better werk so it works Rio: Sure it won't be too hard, like Rio: even if she ain't all that 😂 Indie: she aint gon b bangin but his exes show he aint need that to chirp on Rio: 👀 Indie: 😂😂😏😏 Indie: can u roll up wit eats im about to die Rio: bit rude to both our ma, like lmao Rio: 'course Rio: bring leftovers Indie: ur ma dont count as no ex cos she ✖ed him out Indie: & my ma got that permanent ✖ so bigger problems than my shade innit Rio: no problems when you an 👼 Rio: fucking hopefully Indie: u my 👼 bringing that energy Indie: that means u can jam Rio: is it? Rio: 😏 Rio: let Ryan know eh Indie: he kno u a 😈 too Indie: how he be livin Rio: mhmm Rio: well he gon' have to wait for now Indie: he gon have beef wit me Indie: soz boyyy Rio: nah we was already beefin' 'fore this Indie: yeah? Indie: what he do? 👀 Rio: nah, what I do more like Rio: you know I'm 😈 Indie: o shit Indie: gimme that 411 Rio: nothing exciting Rio: just be looking too bad to be giving him that much air, you know the drill Indie: hes so hyped for u Indie: its been weeks boy no u cant cuff it Indie: who u think u is Rio: can you blame him Rio: hot property, baby Indie: u did look 💣💣💣 last nite my bad Indie: theres a boy @ school tryna chat @ the rest hes my bf so i feel it fr Indie: boy please DO I LOOK LIKE Indie: not tryna hold ur damn hand Rio: is he cute tho Indie: if he werent he wouldnt be able to chat no thing Indie: 💪 fuck him up Rio: 😂 Rio: gotta 'tect the rep Indie: he kno it tho & its like tell me how 🔥🔥 i am dont b talking on urself all the time Rio: not a mood Indie: innit Indie: dry as Rio: that's boys for you Indie: & he didnt show last nite Rio: playing hard to get or just got parents who give a fuck Indie: year up x 2 so he could come thru the ends whenever Indie: but i 💋 all his mandem so itll hit back Rio: play @ his own game  alright Indie: do u think i went too hard tho? Rio: do you want him to be your mans or nah Indie: idk Rio: then it depends Rio: beyond knowing he loves himself, idk how he's vibing Rio: might be too far Indie: hes vibing like hes about me but i Rio: but you? Indie: how do i live that Indie: trust it Indie: drews meshing a new every week he says u gotta keep free on it Rio: works for him Rio: everyone's different Rio: you don't have to trust him yet Indie: mayb hes only about me til i give him something & im not tryna be a show like that Rio: that happens, not gonna sit here and lie and say it don't Rio: you're too young to be thinking on that or worrying Rio: keep him and the rest waiting Indie: yeah okay Indie: gimme a few to have puberty roll up Indie: still waiting on that Rio: it'll happen Rio: not that it's a barrel of laughs, like Rio: nothing to be hyped about Indie: i dont want it Indie: freaky shit going on Rio: unless you gonna stop eating, which unlikely Rio: you fucked, babe, we all are, soz Rio: get boobies though, perks Indie: that best not be you tryna skip on bringing me a meal bitch Indie: bout to hit the afterlife running here like Rio: 🙄 omw you rude ass hoe Rio: like you said, none of us had earlies Indie: omw fr or like when u tell ur mans u @ the club but u still tryin on fits in ur room Rio: like fr when I ever done you like that Indie: dont b starting Indie: ily Rio: 🤞 never Rio: ily more Indie: drews back if u wanna spit at him how to sort his life Rio: i will Rio: he ain't ready for this Indie: resolutions b dashing past this postcode we all avoidin that change Rio: you gotta Rio: sort you both Indie: hey swerve me im good Rio: 😏 Rio: fine i'll focus on your daddy Rio: no love for you Indie: 👼👼🤞🤞 Indie: call him that when you give it & he'll give in Rio: oh you schooling me on how to get blokes to do what I want now Rio: ok miss thing Indie: just him i 👂 what i hear & i kno what i kno Indie: hes here for all that Rio: you poor child Rio: anything grosser than parents going at it 😬 Indie: nah man its nasty & long being under this roof sometimes trust Rio: 🤢 Indie: some of his girls got me tempted to 📱 the social my own self & my ma looking like a saint Rio: that ain't right Rio: negates any buffness he got going on Indie: why lads wanna get on or under ANYTHING?! Indie: true madness Indie: 😂😂😂 Rio: friction 🤷 Indie: yeah but like theres girls out there bringing it & you're gonna hit that Rio: he probably ain't got as much choice as he fronts Rio: lots of grown women ain't about his lifestyle so that leaves him w the younger ones who is Rio: stick at it too long, you get busted, just facts Indie: when you old & so is your baggage 😂😂✌✌ Rio: I mean Rio: I ain't say nothing 😉 Indie: keep that ☮ mama Rio: least he looks p young still Rio: nothing worse than an actual creepy old man dealer Indie: do he? 👴 to me Rio: nah Rio: he only what, 31 Rio: that's no thing to me, gurl Indie: mayb im just 🍋 cos he aint tryna gimme no 💸💸💸 Indie: & he aint caring my head hurts Rio: aw bb Rio: 'round the corner Rio: I'll look after you Indie: 💖💖💖 Indie: u didnt tell me it b like this tho partying Rio: didn't think i had to be that quick with the warnings Rio: next day hurts Indie: always? Rio: 'less you prepare and do it right Rio: it can be bearable Rio: better than you feeling, no doubt Indie: how i do that? school me yeah Rio: 'course Rio: on the to-do list now Indie: we doing the next as a back to school thing so you got a few to bring me up Rio: you best be doing it at some other fucker's gaff and all Rio: giving me grey hairs 🙄 Indie: 😂😂✌✌ Indie: imma make that boy host it Indie: if he love me Rio: You're getting a chaperone regardless Indie: serious? Rio: yeah Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: don't start like you don't know why Indie: i aint trippin you are tho if u think i want a repeat Rio: what, you too cool for me now? Indie: innit 😏😏😏 Indie: but nah just Rio: you so is Rio: you think imma embarrass you in-front of your mans Indie: he aint gon b my mans if u there Indie: whos 👀 me over u Rio: nah don't be silly Indie: im being real Indie: ur 💣💣💣🔥🔥🔥 Rio: so are you Rio: and I don't think a lad who likes you will be into me Indie: every lad b into u they all chat on u fully 😍😍😍💘💘😍 Rio: sounds like plenty are into you too Indie: 😂😂 it was for the spin Indie: cant pussy out Rio: 😏 mhmm Rio: well I promise you I won't be joining in, like Rio: now come let me in if you got strength to get the door Indie: 💪💪 babyyy Indie: [lets her in cos fuck know what drew is doing, flexing in the mirror probably] Rio: [lol watch him rush out when he realize] Indie: [hears her voice & runs out pretending to be casual] Rio: [oh boy, do not deserve her sorting your life, temporarily, but it's for Indie so] Indie: [bless her she's dying rn & just wants to be snuggled cos literal child] Rio: [give them a sec 'scuse you sir] Indie: [I hate everything about this, Carly didn't die for this] Rio: [just making leftovers] Indie: [drew chatting to her like she's here to hang with him & we all know] Rio: [don't you touch caleb's food bitch] Indie: [is nothing sacred you slag] Indie: [indie just fully lying stretched out on the counter like its a bed like let me die] Rio: [getting a bag of peas or some shit in a tea towel and putting it on her head] Indie: [such a good mum but that don't mean you can step ma her drew] Rio: [not her fault she can converse more like a grown-up than you Indie: [we should send Indie running off to the bathroom no offense Caleb but I'm evil & wanna leave them alone for a sec for the mood] Rio: [shoulda gone to hold her hair but now you can level with him and he can pretend he's a responsible adult lmao] Indie: [& Ryan can be highkey & he can pretend he cares] Rio: [ah the joys]

[destielthedeathofme]

Shattering Glass

Prompt: Its like a business thing with Dean as Castiel's assistant.

Tags/Genre: CEO Cas, PA Dean, Fluff, Oneshot, Cliche, Not 50 Shades Of Gray, I hope,

Warnings: I cuss like a sailor bitches

Summary: Dean didn't ever think this would happen.

A/n: This might be a two shot.

~♡~

Dean winced as his head landed with a thud on the keyboard. Eyes fluttering open at the sudden movement, that was probably the closest to sleep he'd been in ages.

10:00

It was 10 fucking PM and his boss hadn't left the office yet, meaning Dean couldn't either. An unspoken rule within their relationship. Glancing around the empty room Dean sighed, everyone had gone home but him. Typical.

Castiel Novak CEO of Garrison Enterprises wasn't known for his kindness rather his temper. Dean could remember the way he practically shrunk during the interview due to Castiel's piercing gaze. The fact that his boss was practically the hottest person in the business industry didn't help either. Dean was used to interviews with cranky old men well past 40, but Castiel was as young as ever. Dean still didn't know if that was a good thing yet. Hair damp from a shower and suit fitted to perfection, the man had sat in perfect posture eyeing Dean like he was some sort of meal. Despite his ogling and stuttering,somehow, he still managed to get the job. Dean hoped to get to know Castiel better, but he hadn't even achieved the first name basis after over a month of working for him. At least he knew how the guy liked his coffee, that had to count for something right? Along with a crush that's all that Dean's gotten from this job. He was fresh out of corny jokes to make, the closest he'd gotten was Castiel's lips curving upward, that shut down very quickly. None of his smirks or winks were working on Castiel Novak and he was not happy. But he was done with the bullshit, Dean had a life damnit. One that consisted of not much more than Baby, booze and his brother. But it was still a life and one that Dean intended on living.

Mustering up all the courage he had, Dean marched down to his boss's office, determined to actually be able to get at least 5 hours of sleep tonight. Which would be a blessing really.

Dean opened the door, suddenly regretting the amount of force he put into that because the door banged a little too loudly for his sleep deprived ears.

Castiel had been hunched over a stack of papers that Dean debated putting through as shredder but nonetheless refrained. But now, his eyes were fixed on Dean, confusion clouding his face. Tie loosened, hair astray he looked perfect somehow. Just the perfect bachelor CEO that Times needed. Sam had fangirled so hard when he found out, Dean debated on crushing his dreams and telling Sam that the guy was an asshole but he decided against it.

"Dean, what are you-"

"I'm leaving."

"Pardon?"

Dean grit his teeth and smiled tightly ,"You know what? I'll explain this the way I would your schedule for the day because that's the language you business freaks speak in. It's 10 PM, I live almost and hour away. If I get home at 11, I'll be in bed by 12. And that gives me 6 hours of sleep before I have to haul my ass to this hell. So please let me go, because I'm in need of at least 5 hours of sleep."

Dean almost ran out of the room, wondering if he would get fired or not. That was the most they've conversed after the interview, Castiel was more of a email guy. But instead of the pure I'm-going-to-throw-a-shit-fit face, one he was accustomed to Castiel gave him an amused look. He eyed the glass surrounding him, if he made a run for it, Dean would probably still make it.

"I was going to ask what you're doing here? Everyone else left."

Dean stared at him in shock, that wasn't what he prepared himself for. He expected raging fury, getting fired, possibly some shattering of expensive stuff that his billionaire boss didn't need.

*Flashback to Christmas*

Dean bounced his way into his cubicle, not even caring that he was 15 minutes late to work, it was freaking 1 day away from Christmas. He had the fucking right. It was bad enough that he was being forced to work, but if his boss showed even a bit of an attitude Dean would so quit. He hoped that Castiel would have the Christmas Spirit.

Dean busied himself in emails when he realized that he'd forgotten to get Castiel coffee. Shit, he was so screwed.

Dean bolted out of his chair and ran to the small coffe shop right around the corner and ordered whatever dose of caffeine he could find. Peppermint Mocha? Whatever as long as his boss had the daily dose of caffeine he needed, Dean would be safe, right?

Speed walking to Castiel's office, Dean burst into the room, "I'm so sorry Cas, I completely forgot about your coffee."

Castiel was not in a good mood. He could tell by the cloud of emotions on his face, Dean memorized every expression on Castiel's face. The slight jut of his chin, or the way his eyebrows furrowed. Hell, he could tell by the sound of his footsteps if Cas was in a good mood or not.

Dean set the coffee down slowly, not realizing his mistake.

"What did you call me?"

"Uh Cas?" Dean had overheard Castiel's much more pleasurable brother call him Cassie and he assumed Cas was alright. It was, wasn't it?

"It's Mr. Novak to you, I'm your boss."

So much for the Christmas Spirit, the guy must be the grinch himself. Nah, he's too good looking, argued Dean's mind which he begrudgingly agreed to.

Dean almost fucking resigned right then and there, what was the guy's problem? Most people called their bosses' by their first name right?

Castiel drank the coffee, which he then spewed all over the office.

"What the hell is this?"

"Peppermint Mocha?" Dean said weakly.

"Get the fuck out, and type up the rest of the manuscripts while you're at it."

"Ok." Dean had to bite his tongue from giving the asshole a piece of his mind.

He almost cried, there was at least 60 copies left, he'd be here till Christmas day. But like a savior, Charlie helped him through it, and he smirked up at Cas before popping his head through the door and saying,"I'm done bye!"

Dean however heard a lot of shattering that day, needless to say he didn't ever dare repeat any of the things he did that day. He never called Castiel, Cas and only addressed him as boss, which thankfully he didn't mind. And Dean wouldn't even go within a 5 mile radius of Peppermint Mocha.

*end of flashback*

"Balthazar said- He said that I can only leave when you do!" Dean said incredulously. Everyone at the office told him that, some cruel prank probably now that he thinks of it.

Castiel let out a small chuckle, a sound Dean was most definitely not accustomed to. Dean stood there gaping like a fish. Was this the same man who fired people with the snap of his fingers. The same one who stormed out of meetings? Holy shit, Dean had to be dreaming.

"You know what, let me drop you home, it's the least I can do." Castiel said gathering his things and getting up.

Dean stumbled a bit but muttered out a yes, partly because he didnt have a ride. On a side note, Dean Winchetser never thought he would have to say that in his life ever, him not having a ride, absolute bullshit. But Baby was in need of some fine tuning and working out her kinks soothed Dean, especially after grueling work hours. And partly because he was still too dazed to refuse.

Within moments they were in Castiel's silver Lexus, Dean still not over the past 15 minutes of his life. He half expected there to be a driver, but Cas drove himself which surprised Dean.

"Did you eat?"

"Hm?"

"I asked if you had eaten anything? It's awfully late, why don't I buy you dinner?"

Dean snapped himself out of whatever this was and ignored the stabbing pain his stomach from hunger. He could hardly believe he was in Castiel Novak's car, much less being invited to dinner by him.

"No I'm good."

"Dean, I insist, you didn't eat lunch either." Castiel gave him a meaningful glance.

How the hell did he know that?

"No, really, I had a s-salad, yeah I had a salad."

He did not eat a fucking salad. Rabbit food ain't his cup of tea. But it was the only food that came to his mind then, so he used it for his horrible lie.

"I thought you hated salads."

How did he know that too? What the fuck was this guy a stalker? Maybe he should have done more research than scouring through tabloids on his boss. For starters, Castiel was fucking bipolar. And actually cared? Since when did he care? Not for the past month and a half alright. But Dean cared. Probably too much, but he made sure Castiel ate for the past month, refusing for him to even miss a meal or meeting.

Dean realized they were pulling up to a restaraunt much too late, as Castiel already parked the car. He wanted to protest, but his stomach disagreed growling loudly. Dean gave Castiel a sheepish look as Castiel glared at him.

The restaurant had the you'd-probably-go-into-debt-if-you-ate-here vibe, but Dean supposed that was normal for a billionaire. He wondered if he'd even managed to grab his wallet, in his dazed state.

The place was dim lit and was practically empty, probably because it was close to 11 and the people who could actually afford to eat here, were tucked into bed. Silver spoon in their mouths, Dean thought bitterly. He was anything but rich, he grew up far worse than he was now though. So Dean was grateful for the little things, the most expensive thing he owned being Baby. But he was content, he had a job, a roof over his head, and food on his table. And most importantly, Dean could pay for Sam's school. He didn't care if he had to skip a meal, as long as Sammy was in school. But his landlord seemed intent in kicking him out, stating that he was out at odd hours and made up a bunch of crap about his rent. Whatever, what's the worst that could happen?

Castiel began ordering and Dean wondered why the staff looked so nervous. Other than the flirty glances from waitresses, everyone else looked like they were going to start crying any moment.

Dean settled on a good old fashioned steak while Cas ordered something that required much to many brain cells and syllables for him to comprehend.

He was surprised at how natural it all felt, just having dinner with Cas, even though situation was anything but. If anyone told Dean this was going to happen an hour ago, Dean would have laughed and thrown the person into a mental hospital.

Dean groaned in satisfaction as he tasted the meatloaf, which was cooked amazingly. He was starving, and this meatloaf tasted like heaven. But he didn't miss the weird look Cas gave him, like Dean was doing something wrong. He flushed at Castiel's eyes that were burning his soul at the moment, he could never get used to those eyes. It's the eyes. They're the reason why Dean's smitten. As if he wasn't attractive enough, he managed to have the bluest eyes in the universe. After Dean finished up his meal, Castiel and him walked out of the restaraunt.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why did everyone there look like they're going to have a panic attack, and why didn't you pay?"

"Oh sweetheart, I own the restaraunt."

Dean flushed once again in embarrassment, of course he did. He didn't flush because of the "sweetheart" part, not at all.

"Oh."

Castiel let out a chuckle, which Dean was tempted to record because no one would believe him if they said that Castiel Novak was capable of anything more than a tight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Dean was soon curled up in the Lexus, tempted to fall asleep, but wouldn't allow himself to. Castiel thankfully knew the way to Dean's apartment, something he'd look more into when he wasn't drowsy. And if he had a problem with the neighborhood that Dean lived in, Cas didn't show it. He felt someone shaking him as soon as he closed his eyes, which was only for a minute.

"We're here."

Dean fumbled for his keys before realizing that he didn't have them with him, his keys forgotten at his office. Add a landlord that already hated Dean for not paying the rent on time to the mix, he had no way of getting into his apartment. Dean glanced back at Castiel's car which didn't move from it's spot, as if he was waiting for Dean to go in. Shit. How would he play this off? He could crash at Bobby's but they lived much too far away for Dean to walk there, he suddenly felt the lack of Baby in his life overwhelming. Dean silently vowed to finish working in her tomorrow.

Dean noticed the little yellow card on his door and read the note cursing at his shitty landlord. He had to pay the rent by tomorrow, even though he was supposed to have a week left. He couldn't make that kind of money in a week. He cursed at himself too, for choosing such a lavish apartment when he could've settled for much less.

Cas got out of his car and walked to Dean his face showing a hint of worry,

"Why aren't you going in?"

"I don't have my keys and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get kicked out of here ."

"Ah, I see."

Dean cringed at the situation he was in. There was no way out other than asking Castiel for help again. Oh, if he just refused the ride.

"You could stay with me."

"What?"

"You could stay with me for as long as you need, till you're back on your feet again."

[machudson]

any of the Kids? (tanrine,logan, sorrel n kirsikka too)

already did tanrine so ill do the others! also i fucked up the formatting horribly partway through so sorry if that still has any effects

logan

favorite thing about them: uhhhhhhhh…… idk now that i think abt it im not the biggest fan of canon him? i do appreciate that we have At Least One chub/fat character but also like. the bar feels so low lolleast favorite thing about them: i dont like how hes treated like a Pure Lil Kid like tanrine is………….. like he LITERALLY watched clementine nearly die (and at the hand of someone close to him too). and then presumably within a year of that his mom drowned. he stays up too late playing video games on the regular and just gdhkjsgjfshljhfaldskjsha he gives off such Depression Vibes but hes NOT and it infuriates me. hes the fucking epitome of depressed teenager. but tammys just like :^) the only mental issues of any kind that anyone has are body issues :^) like… please……………… he may be physically soft but he is not an uwu boy.favorite line: “I’M PERFECTLY FINE AND OK!”brOTP: cosmo (gamer bros) bella (Big Sister) jonquil (kidsquad and ps eventually Get Close and they have the solidarity of oldest in each group + Same Trauma)OTP: the rest of the kidsquad i guess? also this is very lowkey and hypothetical but angelo….. i hc logan as 17 and that angelo just turned 18 at the time of him dropping the mask so imo theyre not rly that far apart agewisenOTP: remember back in like spring/early summer 2016 when people jokingly shipped him and whinter for a bit? that was bad dontrandom headcanon: really into mechanics/engineering!!!!! in school au hes def in a robotics clubunpopular opinion: already said this up in least fav but hes bepression. also i feel like hes Kind Of An Asshole? not intentionally hes just beyond the point of giving a shit.also this is more like… serious but i really do not like the thing with his halloween costume being a werewolf. like. i dont wanna go too into depth but its…………………… NOT GOOD song i associate with them: superfast jellyfish - gorillaz, generation why - conan grayfavorite picture of them: ive got a COUPLE. first one is his process of emotions of Marian Gay. also not pictured here cause its big but the snowing pic and also the komala pic and his yawn on first match pg 4

sorrel

favorite thing about them: i appreciate having some pure, genuine, raw, unadulterated anger. least favorite thing about them: CONSTANTLY USED AS COMIC RELIEF. like GOD give my boy a rest and some character development Pleasefavorite line: he doesnt really. have. any. :’) brOTP: JONQUIL + the other two sj members…. also bella. she rly sees herself in him. she too was once an angry teen. OTP: tanrine tbh….. logan and kirsikka too ofcnOTP: DAISY!!!!!!!! and you know. anyone over 18. side note he def has Baby Gay crushes on jonquil and/or cosmo but Thats Not Something To Actually Shiprandom headcanon: re:above hes bi because bi teenagers! we are everywhere! also like .. when basically his only friends are Those Three? like. unpopular opinion: it feels like the only content we get of him is ship content, making fun of his height, and [SCREAMS]. like. please. actually as far as tammys male characters go? their height seems to largely correlate with the quality of content they get…. and as sorrel is the shortest. he doesnt get jack shit.song i associate with them: gonna go far kid - the offspring (DONT @ ME), pardon my freedom - !!!, baby’s on fire - die antwoordfavorite picture of them: THE STYLE TESTS SHE DID W HIM TWO OR SO YEARS AGO? GODLIKE

kirsikka

favorite thing about them: HMMMM…… im glad we have weeb representation. shes just out there. living her Best Life. enjoying some gotdamn Content. hell yeah least favorite thing about them: IDK i guess just how…. little content we get of her? also like tanrine and daisy she appears to have the Awful character trait of shipping other people. stop thatfavorite line: SHE DOESNT HAVE MANY RIP…. “dont fall asleep there are still two seasons left”brOTP: bella and [REDACTED]…. wait i jsut realized ive listed bella for all four KidSquad members as brotp. she really is Big Sister Energy. also weve never seen her interacting with logan? let them be The FriendsOTP: the other three kidsquad members, [REDACTED] if a certain theory of mine turns out to be wrong, and depending on ages, merry (rd) in bup!nOTP: idk just. anyone over 18. shes babey. random headcanon: i dont think this is too patreon-y to say? since vadelma more or less seems to b gemstone themed, assuming kirsikka has a similar power, hear me out………… geode eye hole.unpopular opinion: idk if this is so much an unpopular opinion but ???? ive been hoping for quite a while that we get a plotline thing for her and that never happened. just now i was going through stuff related to her on the cct blog and “she has not expressed any interest in trying to battle again. As far as her family knows” hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm please tammy. pleasesong i associate with them: ahhhhhh idk… since i do all my playlists by a number system and its not rly clear where she fits into that as a side character….. i dont have a playlist for her…… i guess strawberry blonde - mitski tho? also this is way more ship related but lollipop - mika. and obligatory caramelldansenfavorite picture of them:

(that second one is from her sketching on stream. sadly that version of the page didnt end up being the final one :( still adorable tho)

[sanhatation]

Does Aroha have any inside fandom jokes?

as a fandom where memes are our roots and eternally ingrained in our programming, yes, you have come to the right place ! 

THE HISTORY OF AROHA: A BRIEF TIME(ME)LINE

Predebut/To Be Continued

- minions ; the very first aroha meme, somewhat rare to see today unironically, it haunts us just look through the linked tag thats not even a percent of them

- where’s Clap Clap

- eunwoo’s thick

- all of us having a FIT at the thought of debut

- doryongi 

- throwback to when we knew Nothing about Fantagio and feared them and begged them to be nice 

- that’s it that’s literally all we had predebut honestly one of the inside jokes was the fact that we had nothing and that if u searched “astro” all u would get was astrology + astro boy posts

Spring Up

- aroha went in an UPROAR when we found out that Ok!Ready wasn’t going to be released through vlive…a BOYCOTT

- do NOT trust maknae line with shopping

- european bagel

- eunwoo as a rich mother to a chaebol

- headband!mj supporters vs. headband!mj antis

- blush!sanha supporters vs. blush!sanha antis

- aroha once again in FLAMES as bin’s tummy kept flashing during Hide & Seek performances ; a common conversation among the fandom

- this.

- “three smol three tol”

- the realization of the Chaos that is The Birthday Season

- “well at least they didnt debut with bad hairstyles”

- the fact that majority of us were under the age of 20

- WHEN SOMEONE JUST….STARTED CALLING BIN “KIM MOON BIN” AND IT SPREAD… YALL WTF FHJDFKDS

Summer Vibes

- the goose 

- Fantagio forgetting literally every password….Spotify, YouTube, Twitter….

- the overalls supporters vs. the overalls antis

- SANHA IS THE TALLEST

- where’d rocky’s earrings go 

- where’s Clap Clap

- “who’s that girl”

- birth of svtstro

- cicada ddoca no need to say more

- literally The Most happened during SV i cant even remember her its all a blur

Autumn Story

- really flipped a lid thinking Confession was gonna be bad boy!astro

- WHEN THE TRACKLIST DROPPED AND FOR A SOLID FIVE MINUTES WE WERE IN CHAOS THINKING THE TITLE TRACK WAS “GO BACK” FROM TBC

- mj in SHORTS

- the Theories begin

- seojeong (sei) kinda looks like sanha in a wig????

- where’s Clap Clap

- when eunwoo was in that random EXID vcr and we flipped a lid (a reoccurring theme) 

- astro are bad at games

- what……….even was astro asc 2

- chicken mania

- where’s the dance practice 

- the entirety of boyfriend milk….minions make a tragic comeback. 

- jinjin likes pretty things

- eunwoo exposed 

Winter Dream

- THE most dramatic era

- the entire music video Fiasco ; astro clicked “delete” instead of “publish” on the Again mv ; fantagio once again forgot youtube password, etc.

- astro: kings of starting and ending winter in one day 

- where’s Clap Clap

- this entire era was centered around crying over the dance practice + rioting over the lack of a mv 

- eunroach. 

Dream Pt. 01

- JINJIN VISUAL 1 TOP

- mwave meet & greet

- the show fan pd (aka: the chocolate game)

- what the freaking frick even happened during Baby

- rocky swag

- where’s Clap Clap

- STRONG BERRY.......

- shirtless astro FIASCO….jinjin + bin plotting memes

- seriously what in the diddly darn frick even happened during Baby

- let rocky sing

- “favor” drinks

- S T R E A M  B A B Y !!!!

Dream Pt. 02 it sure has escalated

- tbt to when we thought we were getting a nightmare concept 

- buff bin

- eunwoo watches hentai

- bin is a furry 

- how did it become this way 

- there is SOMEONE running a secret stan twt account….astro could be on tumblr 

- new astro family tree “my son” 

- HOW COULD I FORGET THE BOWLING FIASCO OF 2018

- mwave meet & greet

- noh taeyoon

- hp sorting…we dont talk about that anymore

- buff bin x10000 literally every aroha wants bin to crush their skull ! 

- this era was a hot MESS and i dont even know how half of these memes originated and quite frankly i dont want to know

- where’s Clap Clap

in conclusion: there is by far too many aroha inside jokes to even capture…all we know is Tomfoolery 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

instead of me making a post where i briefly rate btvs characters im gonna do a post im sure ive already made abt how in the first book alone its shown that narnia is an unreasonable twilight zone to deal with and the lore is wild and aslan is sort of a jerk and bad with dealing with children / dealing with the world he created; or: the battle of the reader vs cs lewis

ok first of all. this book completely wrongs edmund. cs lewis is determined to have us believe that he is a Bad Sort but? not so much that when he's "redeemed" we have to doubt for even a moment that he's now Good Forever. and the reasons the reader keeps being given about why we should be disgusted with edmund are incredibly weak and often bemusing

to start with, cs lewis hates boarding schools which is probably because they could be awful and so he throws out the reason that edmund used to be as nice and purehearted as his siblings until boarding school spoilt his immortal soul? were peter and susan taught at home or in public school then? if lewis was making a comment on how terrible boarding school is, why isnt edmund given any sympathy for this by the narrator or his siblings who just seem largely annoyed by him?

and since at the start the kids are being sent off from home in the middle of a world war their dad is off in and have to go to a boring house with an uncle? who for some reason never like, bothers to speak to them or see them ever. tf, dude. and theyre in england in the first place. anyhow, the fact that edmund being in a bad mood over this is supposed to be evidence of his crappiness is a touch unreasonable. he's like what, 8-11? so much of this book hinges on his character needing to be saved from his own badness that its sort of unforgivable that said badness really doesnt exist. hates his terrible school? hates his terrible situation? difficult? fights with siblings? how is this meant to be fit for A Just and Divine Damnation. why is there such a complete lack of sympathy. does lewis understand anything about children.

the answer is that "adults assuming these young as hell children have the same emotional maturity and logical processes and understanding of the world as adults" is a constant theme. these random schoolchildren become the supreme rulers of an entire country in a world theyve never been in after like, a week. the whole series runs on a fair number of other English Brand notions abt classism, racism, divine right to rule, etc. but even if it wasnt "only humans can lead", why would any children be allowed? children who had never been there? for gods sake

moving on to the plot: lucy finds narnia, etc. i guess on account of being Young and A Girl, which here means spiritual purity? and also as a character trope means Innocence. ok. meeting an exposition-providing faun, getting back, nobody believes her because why would they. their great(but not good) uncle bothers showing up upon coincidence. why hasnt he ever even said "hello, im not evil" to the kids staying at his house?for gods sake. he then explains to the kids a version of one of lewis's apologistic things that supposedly logically proves that christianity is valid and here proves that narnia is real, which it actually does neither of. shove it, clive staple lewis. your argument is crap

oh but edmund went to narnia along with lucy before that had happened. this is supposed to be a crucial point where he meets the white witch and is supposed to be like, dont be like edmund kids!! but frankly he behaves perfectly reasonably during that encounter and also when they all get to narnia. coz, ok, he's in an alternate universe alone which is disorienting for anyone. then the witch just happens to stumble across him. was he supposed to have prevented that somehow? lucy just stumbled across mr tumnus and trusted him inherently and it happened to go well. the first person edmund meets is someone else and he talks with her for a minute because she is a grown ass woman, probably gonna kill him otherwise, and also he's in an alternate universe alone with no idea where anyone is or if he can get back? here is a quick tangent:

a moral throughout the series is that you can sense somethings inherent goodness or truthfulness through how much it gives you a nice gut feeling. yet frankly this is not the only way to go about making choices. and not everything bad sets off alarms and not everything that sets off alarms is bad, so i dont know how much of a lesson that is. but for example, here the witch doesnt give edmund the warm fuzzies, and it is supposed to be a mistake or moral weakness on his part to not have.....what? gone running aimlessly through the arctic landscape in his jammies from a self-proclaimed queen with a sledge? he didnt really have any options here. how is he meant to know she's not really the ruler of this crap place that, so far as he knows, he lives in now? and ok, then somehow his big ol mistake is eating some damn candy and having some hot cider or whatever. it is eternal winter, why is this child a sinner for getting up out of the snow and humoring this lady by taking some offered snackaroos. also, everyone says turkish delight isnt even good. ask for some m&m's, ed!!! love yourself!! and even if he is supposed to know never to eat magical food or be bound to the fairy queen, lucy went and had tea with a fuckin faun so again, they basically did the same thing but edmund met the wrong person by sheer luck of it, so he has to die. LEWIS!!!!!!!

another big Edmund Must Die moment is when he and lucy get back from narnia and edmund lies that narnias fake, because he's evil. first of all, the fact that lucy tells him that some stranger she's buddies with says the white witch is evil and a liar. how is her stranger meant to be more reliable than the witch? this is just the word of two randos pitted together. how is edmund meant to understand this as Proof that the queen is evil and an imposter to the throne. frankly, she's functionally the actual queen, so its not even really a lie? narnia is impossible. secondly, it is 10000% understandable that edmund would realize that if he backs up lucy's claims then everyone is going to go looking for narnia, and in the experience he's just had, its a hellhole. and lucy has just told him that he possibly met an evil witch that is interested in also meeting his siblings? wouldnt be too thrilled about going back there then. and thirdly, if as lewis says he just lies because he is evil? does this man again not understand that Impulsive Pettiness is a bit different coming from a 9 yr old than a grown adult. the narrator is just so aghast at edmund constantly when its like dude he's.....not really doing anything, and also theyre all babies. let him be a bit of a little shit without the devil herself coming to claim his spilled blood for it, mayhaps

also, there is a bit of confusion about the fairy food! it is implied to be actually kind of magically binding, like to a degree he has to cooperate with the witch now because he took food he was offered? or at least it is somehow "corrupting." so how is this meant to be a sin if also it is not even his own choices here! how was he meant to have avoided this? dont take candy from strangers, sure. BUT IF YOU DO, YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET!!!

all the pevensies are in narnia, lucy lets it for everyone else remarkably fast, but i guess she is like 6 and having a nice time with her family in a magical land. although you'd think she'd be more concerned about all that witch stuff, and the fact that mr tumnus was about to straight up childnap her and deliver her to childmurder. like, good on you for not doing that. but how many people has he been selling out all this time! its literally been his job for however long. he's had to have had something to show for it. is morally greyness just arbitrarily sorted into black and white Good/Evil characters and these kids are supposed to sniff out which way these things fall? for gods sake. see, my point is that this adult faun who was going to turn a kindergartener in to be killed until he decided nah, and previously definitely probably narced on people in the past, is way crapper than a kid who has been grumpy and ran into the wrong person? what is edmunds Betrayal. was it the food eating

anyways, then peter is a total dick, but in like a noble way. in that he's mad at edmund for ages but like...again, ok, he's like 12-14 or whatever, who knows. the point is that if he can hold a grudge against his siblings for being annoying, why is that trait evil in edmund? it is because narrator lewis says so, damn him. but if peter is the Natural Born Leader of A Country here, you'd think he could at least manage not to keep giving a hard time to the one of their group who is going to be any trouble keeping in line at all, since lucy is Pure and susan gets the literature role of the Mini Mom. theyre not going anywhere. you basically had one job, pete.

fun fact: this is where they find out mr tumnus is taken by the queens evil forces, referred to as the police. this is basically the only book i can think of where the evil enforcement agency is called a police force. Interesting Stuff

even though im not sure what any of them think they can accomplish by wandering around, they end up following a random bird and following some random beavers. they know this is ok because of those warm fuzzies, and the fact edmund isnt feeling those good vibes is because he's evil, but honestly its a shit plan following some random bird and assuming some beavers are gonna be good guys. the only people edmund knows of in this country are an imposing queen and her kidnapper who's totally nice. also if tumnus told lucy that the queen has loads of spies, why are they crashing around inherently trusting the first things they see? lucy trusts a faun who was going to sell her to satan, edmund sort of has to trust an ominous lady who turns out to possibly be evil? why would he not find it a questionable idea to wander into this beaver dam

in further supposed evidence of edmund being all devil-corrupted by d&d, he doesnt get the warm fuzzies when these random beavers start talking abt a magic lion who's great and wandering around somewhere, you should totally go to him. but they have like, actually zero knowledge about this world beyond the differing accounts of those theyve happened to bump into? how would they know some lion who isnt even around ever is the rightful ruler of narnia, vs some lady who is actually around? she's got one up on aslan for that. where've you been, buddy. what took you an entire century. aslan SHOULD TOTALLY sound kind of crap because, uh, HE IS?

edmund goes off somehow without anyone noticing and the beavers are like oh yeah saw that one coming, that'll be the magic food. like??? you couldve said. or at least not let him sidle off out the door half an hour ago? for gods sake. and again: if this is magic food rules, why isnt the magical kit-kats the Great Traitor of All Of Narnia! how is the concept of sin fitting into all of this. again, edmund just ran into the wrong person. and lewis is just like no, see, but he deserves this because he is irritable and childish and mean. CHILDREN LEWIS!!! HAVE YOU HEARD OF THAT!!!

apparently edmund meanders all the way to the white witches place b/c all the time the entirety of narnia seems to be a couple of miles across or a few hundred miles, depending on whats convenient to the story. the moral of narnia's weird lore is that its only as consistent as cs lewis feels like making it, which is sometimes Completely Bewildering when he just sort of throws stuff out there but moves the narration right along. presumably he wasnt expecting this to operate on the rules that any of this would be regarded with any level of analysis, since tolkien was a contemporary and not a predecessor. but still, dude, get your story straight? especially within the same book.

and anyways also, again! the magic food rules come up. because that is meant to be edmunds motivation, besides just being petty. he is magically bound to the fig newtons. which is i guess meant to explain away him literally going the extra mile for this witch shit, but also still letting him be blamed for that, since he is being SUCH a jerk, see kids? dont act less than chipper at your terrible life unless you want to take your soul's rightful place as the devils property, moreso than literally anyone else in all of narnia? alright. this books plot points are just a bit like.......ok

the other kids definitely have no option but to trust their choice in "trust the first people we bump into." luckily its uh...its fine. but wtf

who is narnia santa!!!!! how can there be a dude based on a saint? does narnia have the concept of saints? is he a dead guy???? i can slightly accept that narnia has a christmas in that maybe that comes from the dude who was made king at its birth being a random english cabbie, i suppose maybe this guy was like "fuck it, its christmas and you're going to like it." but do narnians know what xmas is about at all??? canonly aslan is actually just also jesus in the england-world, but did the cabbie king know that? did he explain the concept of jesus? does monotheistic narnia also accept the concept of a separate god existing in another universe, or are they all also assuming aslan=jesus? but this isnt as confusing as the santa guy. is he like how there's wizards running around? this is so weird. what magic shit would edmund have got. wouldnt it have been nice or at least useful for santa to have given the other pevensies whatever he was going to have given edmund. does that boy also not get xmas presents because he is on the naughty list. bad month for edmund

speaking of edmund, he honestly sort of disappears from the book as soon as he has the realization that the witch is mean :( despite the plot of rest of the book being essentially centered around him? and him finally being in a position for the narration to stop talking about what a cruel cruel monster he is? ok

aslan is just a dick not only for leaving narnia on its own for ages but also just personality wise. rude to the children. they are all like "aslan our brother" and aslan is like "shut up about your brother already, i'll do something about it if i want to but if i dont want to he deserves whatever's coming to him." like? have a little patience for the reasonable questions and uncertainties of these kids, ffs

how is this massive climate shift not fucking shit up like, ecologically. does anyone own shorts at this point? how are plants alive. its magic

oh yeah, forgot that there was that bit in the white witches statue garden of death where edmund straight up thought this one lion he saw must be aslan. wasnt he also getting figurative cold feet until he saw that, also? again, in these circumstances, how was he meant to know that WASN'T aslan and that the witch wasnt the one who was right. shrug! but now another total coincidence is whats driving edmund to go say hey to the witch again instead of backing out of her creepy house. see you in hell ed

back to aslan........uhhh when a wolf attacks susan, who is like, dangling precariously from a branch in fear of her life, aslan orders the skilled warriors not to save susan asap, but instead to let this 13 yr old holding a sword for the first time mosey on over and have a one on one fight with this talking wolf. sure, aslan knows the situation is under control. but the people who dont know?? are these kids in mortal peril? aslan is such a dick. he shouldnt be putting these children in these positions of Leader Of My Army Now, Go Into Actual Combat. but thats just how he rolls. trial by fire, dweebs

oh yeah and since the chance happens to arrive he sends some people to go get edmund back. thanks for bothering to rescue a child! gods sake

then he has a nice long talk with edmund about never being annoyed with your siblings or theres literal hell to pay, i guess! whatever. at least he's paying attention to him for a moment instead of just handing him a sword and telling him not to complain. thanks? telling his siblings not to be dicks about it all is also very mature of him. and apparently necessary since again, cough, peter? getting mad at edmund for being petty and immature maybe shouldnt have involved sniping at him a ton and ignoring him to the point he just left for an hour before anyone was like, wasnt there more of you. lord. im just saying, maybe everyone needs to mature a bit before they are monarchs

psych!! these kids are ready for anything now

except for the bit where the witch comes and demand edmund's head, since...........................i guess she was trying to play the long con? by hoping aslan would do the ol switcheroo? or maybe she was just mad and wanting a good ritualistic murder. but despite the whole damn book being about this explanation of the crucifixion of jesus, it.........doesnt really make sense within the god damn Lore. she has claim to edmunds life because he is a Traitor? to whom? the witch straight up lied to him abt what she wanted to do with his siblings, so how was he meant to have betrayed them if he hadnt known what she intended to do? how can he betray someone if it was the fault of the Law Of The Magic Almond Joy? sure, he lied and snuck around and was pissy and all, but how is that on a level above any other number of stunts other narnians are sure to have pulled. she has narnian spies? arent they traitors? does she have to formally make the claim for the "i get to kill the traitor or narnia is destroyed b/c The Lore, Fuck You" for it to come into effect? is edmund just called a traitor for the strategy of it all, since the humans have to be alive to defeat her. but on what grounds

also, who agreed to give her that authority of traitor-killer? why does that role exist. what. whomst. lewis, explain this?

again like.....how are the children on their own for this bit, either. there is no sympathy for being children in lewisverse

ok and uhhhh? aslan leaving on the night before a battle w/o like....telling anyone? they wouldnt even have known he'd died if a dryad hadnt have been like "you'll never guess this shit." i guess omniscience or whatever. but for fucks sake, peter outranks everyone else in the army just because he's human? he doesn't know shit! you made him fight a wolf! whatever. why even put the humans in battle if you need them to live. whatever

susan and lucy of course have to witness this aslancide until they also witness this resurrection. cool. but the thing is that like? sure aslan couldve just flat out let edmund die, but besides the fact that theres the whole prophecy thing to mean that the kids need to live, but also, he was sort of backed into a corner re: having to die himself because of some technicality in narnia's rulebook? i get that this wasnt meant to be completely an allegory so much as just "gateway christianity drug" but wasnt the jesus bit supposed to be done just totally as a favor or whatever. aslan was sort of just strategizing as far as we know. like, is edmund representing The Sins Of All Humanity, or is he out here like "if jesus dying wouldve saved just one person it wouldve happened all the same"? either way, it makes it seem like aslan HAS to do this whole dying thing out of "so the world doesnt end" vs choosing to out of being cool abt it. i mean......not that uh jesus was supposed to have been psyched up abt his death. but you know what im getting at here. whatever, the Lore

again, the battle seems to be happening like, five miles from the witches house? coz everyone from the statues just makes the journey with aslan in one go. what are the scales here, lewis!!

aslan shows up in time to just kill the white witch himself, with his god lion teeth? how gross must that have been. also! he couldve done that at any time!!! but prophecy whatever sighhhhhhhh

its funny that lucy gets impatient with aslan for interrupting her moment of "can i make sure my brother isnt dead" and he gets impatient with her about that? shes in like preschool. also, you have healing powers!!!! so says uhhh.....the next book? or the one after. and anyone can use that magic elixer. and can you stop being so damn testy abt these childrens concerns for each other's lives!!!

theyre monarchs now, and aslan just fucks off. he couldve bothered to say goodbye, if people dont happen to see him meander off, how do they even know if he left or is just hanging around somewhere? seeing as he just snuck off overnight and died without letting anyone know. but more importantly he's again left this country entirely on its own save for these kids who know nothing except that they better be nice to each other or some random magical law might come into effect where someone gets to knock on their door and demand their kidneys or the world ends.

for real though! this is like, a country coming out of a crappy period and now in a wild transitional period and the only leaders are these kids who just showed up who have never been here before in their lives. how are they meant to manage a natl economy? its not mentioned here (is it) but theres an entire other racist-caricature-mashup of a country to the south already? how are they at diplomacy between two countries they know nothing abt. how will they form policies! they are 11! what tf is narnias infrastructure, beyond "sparse." where did the line to the throne go? was there always direct descendants to the first king in archenland, which by the way also exists with people in it b/c fuck you. i guess so...i forget where caspian comes from.

fun fact, when my sister and her friend went to disney world some yrs ago, they took a pic with a dude playing caspian a la the films, whom looked a lot like the actual actor, aka a total babe. its a great photo

anyways ummm. see the entire narnian govt just disappears? which i suppose they figure out when the four of them just leave and never come back. i suppose its lucky the narnians assumed it was magic and not regicide. because, if you live in narnia? fuck you. honestly what did they do in the aftermath. nobody nonhuman is even allowed to be a ruler. do they have like, other elevated positions? was there no regulation. coz thats alright but the series implies that narnia is always supposed to have a king around in order for things to go well. ok

so uh its govtless i guess until what, these people accidentally stumble upon a portal to narnia and become the telmarines who take over narnia? but not rightfully i guess, because even though theyre humans, they were probably insufficiently noble about it. or just not aslan-approved. honestly ok where tf did the calormenes come from? another portal? why did they restrict themselves to a certain region? why did narnia not encompass the entire world? why did you need to be white and english to be christian. i know this is a case of just introducing things that dont make sense but moving the story along before anyone asks questions but uh..........louie

Also How Tf Are These Kids Going From Grown Adult Monarchs To 10 Yr Old Schoolchildren In 1940s England Again over the course of like 10 seconds. before they left this clowns didnt even recognize the damn lantern! how do you forget that ever. ridiculous

where the "put in what you want and dont bother explaining it unles you feel like it" strategy is really fun is with that lantern, imo. on account of he just put it in as a Fuck You Buddy to tolkien, which is funny. good job

but really how are you not even going to devote a single sentence to that fucked up transition these kids? adults in kids bodies? kids with the memories of what it is like to have become and been adults until just a second ago? are going through. like...............ok. do they have to larp being normal children for a while. It's Magic, Fuck You

aslan is just.....kind of a jerk!

this book teaches you nothing

The Lore

the end