#but i’m choosing to spare you from that because i know that’s not effective

[opportvnist]

hey! white tumblr users! if you’re considering making a post about rap, try closing out of the post editor and listening to DNA by kendrick instead. I guarantee he’s said everything, and he’s said it better than you ever will.

[moon-like-u]

the butterfly effect

pairing: jeon wonwoo/reader

genre: sci-fi i think, time travel au! kinda angst

word count: 1,794

warnings: may be confusing because it jumps from previous and present timelines

synopsis: wonwoo can time travel and will do everything just to make you happy

a/n: hello omg it has been two years since my last post! i accidentally stumbled on my draft for this au and decided to finish it. i didn't proofread this anymore so hopefully it still makes sense by the end and that it's not too rushed ^___^ also i hope the narrative is not confusing with all the reminisces lol this felt long but apparently both junhui and joshua aus are still longer ahaha

You had warned him. 

You already warned him that this would happen, but he was too stubborn to follow. Wonwoo feels the early afternoon air against his face as he walks the streets of the city with one destination in mind: the coffee shop, Hanabira. 

He knows these streets all too well; the few apartment buildings among different restaurants and small businesses that seemingly fall together, the trees and light posts lining up the streets, the idle chatter of people, a string familiar of faces, even the cracks in the gravel full of perennial plants – all of these fell into place fitting like a puzzle, just like you and him, he thought.

It was also in these streets that he discovered his ability to time travel many years ago. Ever since then, he felt as if a huge responsibility rested upon his shoulders and at the same time, felt like nothing mattered, everything and anything was temporary – well, until he met you. You who drink coffee as if it were water, you who choose to walk with him on this very same street every time he asks you to, you who remember every single detail of your (and his) favorite books, plays, and songs and still manage to become forgetful. You who became the permanent fixture in his life among those that faded away. 

He thinks back to when he asked what would you do if you had the ability to time travel. You had said that it would be a big responsibility to have, after all, you can change a lot of things that can alter human history. In terms of your personal life, you told Wonwoo that you would leave it exactly as it is. 

The afternoon light was streaming through the blinds of his room, creatively lighting up the room as the both of you lounge on his bed. Wonwoo grabbed your hand as you sat up on your elbows.

“I’d rather not change anything in the past. Everything felt circumstantial, you know?” you pondered. “The day I met you, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love you and I want to meet you the very second we did.”

The bell on the door of Hanabira jingles as he walks in, the smell of coffee and vanilla greeting him. He remembers the day you met as if it were just yesterday. He smiles lightly as he recalls it. 

During the middle of the day, Hanabira was booming with customers in line to get their cup of coffee and baked pastries. It was not a surprise that there was a long line that almost reached the entrance door. However, the peak hour was not the only reason why the line is long— you were there, holding up the line because you were short 10 won. 

Wonwoo sees the panic in your eyes as you dig up your wallet, bag, and pockets to find nothing but a few paper receipts. He can’t help but notice how you already had a large coffee stain on your torso, coffee you probably spilled hours before. “Here,” he said as he gave the cashier 10 won, realizing he must put you out of your misery. 

“Thank you,” you breathed out. “I’m not usually unprepared like this, if you don’t mind to keep in contact so I can pay you back.”

Wonwoo was surprised to see you look like you’re about to cry, wearing a coffee-stained long-sleeved shirt, and yet, you had this determined look on your face as if he just paid 1,000 won instead of 10. 

“Sure,” he replies, speechless. 

The rest was history. Wonwoo was glad he had 10 won to spare that day, for he felt like he was the luckiest man to have met you. He still does. Wonwoo would do everything just to see you happy. Wonwoo walked into Hanabira, taking in the place. It gives him a little comfort seeing how everything is still the same—it still looks like the same favorite place you ever so loved.

He looked over to the corner where the both of you sat and when you had poured your heart out to him. He remembered how you opened up to him that day in this very coffee shop, thinking that a heart-wrenching conversation with a random (cute) stranger that you would probably never meet again would help ease the pain.  Wonwoo recalled how you explained to him that the reason you were tense and bought coffee with not enough money was that you missed an interview for a screenwriter position, your dream job. He found it ridiculous that you would not even change this part of your past if given the ability to time travel.

“But that interview was your dream, wouldn’t you at least try to change the past and attend the interview like you always wanted?” Wonwoo asks.

“Well, yeah. It is my dream. But still, I know I can do my best even without that interview. Even if I have to do other positions first before being promoted to a screenwriter. I know I’ll get there,” you said wistfully. “Besides, if I made it to that interview, I wouldn’t have met you, you know. And I couldn’t have that!” you said teasingly.

Wonwoo had laughed along with you then, but it got him thinking. It has been your dream since you were a kid. He remembers how you passionately defended the beauty of being a screenwriter when he expressed that being a director sounded more appealing, just to tease you. 

“Screenwriters bring the magic directors can show. One is not above the other—both are staples to create something so beautiful in harmony through plays, movies and the like!” you attested.

It took you a while to realize that he was just messing with you, a feat that was rewarded with a slap in the arm. But it was then that he knew how much this meant to you. And Wonwoo, well, he wanted to give everything to you—even the world, if he can.

If there was one thing that Wonwoo learned and proved with his time travel abilities, it was the chaos theory, specifically the butterfly effect. It amused him how little changes really do cause big changes in a course of events, which is why he had to be careful and think about the repercussions of changing anything as little as moving the position of a park bench. It was how he just changed the batteries of a certain bus driver’s alarm clock that caused you to ride a bus that did not have reckless driving skills, which meant that you did not spill your coffee all over yourself and your resume. Which means that you had successfully entered the interview of your dream job, prepared, polished, and caffeinated. 

“Sir? Excuse me, sir? I said that would be 4,400 won,” the cashier calls out. 

Wonwoo snapped out of his reverie and handed the cashier his bills, “Sorry, I spaced out. Thank you.”

It has been three years in the timeline where you made it to the interview. You made it, Y/N, Wonwoo thinks as he sees your name is becoming known in the film industry. He wanted to celebrate with you, but in this timeline, he would just be another stranger to you. He knew this would happen, but he still went on and change the past despite you refuting the idea before.

“What if we still meet afterwards, in another day? Would you change the past this time?” he asks you.

You hummed, “It’s a risk, I still wouldn’t do it if I don’t have the reassurance that we’ll meet again.”

“I’m sure we’ll meet again in this scenario.”

“How sure are you? I think it was because of our decisions that day that we met, so, I still wouldn’t change a thing even though it would get me to that interview,” you said while tracing circles on his arm.

“No, I think it’s because of fate that we met,” he replied.

You raised your head from his chest to meet his eyes, “I didn’t take you for a sappy romantic.”

He chuckled, you felt the reverberations on his chest, “No, I just think we’re fated together, Y/N. I think that even if you were a popular, in-demand screenwriter, we’d still find our way to each other.”

“So in this scenario I'm popular and in-demand you say? What if I turn into a snob and refuse to meet you with all that fueling my ego?” you laughed.

“All the more why I should be there to pull you back down!” Wonwoo responded, suddenly attempting to tickle you. You laughed at the unexpected attack and responded with the same action. Both of you were lost in a series of laughs and tangled limbs.

Wonwoo recalled the memory with a bittersweet feeling. Of course, he considered looking for you and introducing himself, but he couldn’t think of a way that would not make him look like a madman. Hi, I’m Wonwoo. You were the love of my life in another timeline? He had not even told you of his time travel abilities before. He went to all the previous places you used to live in, but you never resided there in the present timeline. You had warned him that this would be a big change, that it would come with the risks of not meeting each other—and yet, he went ahead and did it. Still, he does not regret he did it. He just wishes he could be there to see you happy to have achieved your lifelong dream.

Back in the coffee shop, Wonwoo decided to take a walk outside with a sigh. We’ll meet again, I’m sure of it, he thinks. As soon as he went out Hanabira, he collided with someone and spilled the remainder of his now cold coffee onto the floor. Wonwoo noticed the dog first, and looked at the person. It was you.

“I am so sorry! My dog suddenly dragged me and ran all the way here, I swear he doesn’t usually get like this!” you said apologetically. 

“It’s okay, he was probably just excited,” Wonwoo chuckled, as he kneeled down and petted the dog. Well, aren’t you a good boy, he thinks as he continues to pet the dog.

“Yeah, he loves walking in this part of the city!” you said, relieved. “I’m sorry I spilled your coffee though, how can I make it up to you?”

Wonwoo looks up at you with a smile, “What about a coffee for a coffee?” I told you it’s fate Y/N, we are just destined together in every timeline, he thinks. He stood up, reached out his hand, and said “Wonwoo, by the way.”

You smiled, “Y/N.”

[wrathofrats]

Would we mayhapse get another round of the Dew fights with someone and they have to very roughly make up like that SwissDew one I'm sure we all love deeply (I know I do)

Ofc dear anon, also I’m so so very happy you enjoyed my Swissdew series, I regard that one so very deeply in my heart. I hope you enjoy this one!

Mist finally confronts dew after his transition.

Warnings for hurt no comfort, implied but not described character death/tragic event, implied but not described torture/traumatic events, mist blames aether and omega for dew and deltas botched transitions

-

“So you really went through with it”

Dew barely registers the sound of her walking outside. The light from the kitchen brightens the space behind him as mist slides open the door. He can’t help but wince seeing her shadow darken his space on the porch.

“Yup”

The cold air whips around them, bringing goosebumps to mists skin while dew sits in his chair unphased, a pile of ashes and old newspapers lay beside him. The air smells like dead leaves tinged with the smoke coming from dew burning pieces of paper at his fingertips. Something that would be comforting on any other night makes her stomach turn. His usual smell of aloe and chamomile long since singed into a sickly petrol that invaded her senses. Mist hadn’t seen him since his transition until now, dew purposely avoiding her to avoid this very interaction.

“I’m sure aethers real pleased with his work this time” mist bites. An attempt to antagonize him, force him to finally talk to her. She doesn’t bother to sit down, only chooses to stand behind dew and wonders if he will even spare her a glance. The wind scatters his pile of ashes, sending them into the yard as dew puts out the flame on his finger.

“Don’t bring aether into this”

“Why shouldn’t I? You know what happened to delta-“

“Delta wasn’t aethers fault mist”

Her throat closes hearing her own name come from his lips. Something she hadn’t heard in weeks and she honestly didn’t know if she would ever hear it again. Because of a botched transition or dew practically disowning her she didn’t know. But a searing ice cold chill ran down her spine. A small part of her brain begged him to just look at her.

“It wasn’t but it was the same situation. If omega of all ghouls can fuck up did you really expect me to trust aether?”

Dew grabs another newspaper and turns it into ash as his flame only grows hotter.

“I told you to stop fucking mentioning him”

“And why should I? What if something happened” it’s all mist can do to not raise her voice. She tries to focus on the sky, count the stars instead of wondering what dew even looks like under his hood. She wonders if it’s even her dewdrop under there. She’s scared of the answer.

“Aether loves me. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me” more ash dances around the deck, a line of minuscule destruction in favor of lighting the entire deck up while dew attempts to control his new magic.

“Do you think we didn't love delta? He wasn’t some failed experiment like you seem to think he was” mist rubs her face with her sleeve, catching a stray tear that was forming as the cold air invaded her skin

“I never said that”

“Besides, did it not hurt? Did aether not hurt you when he fucking scarred over your gills? Did it not hurt when he forced the fire magic through your veins? Did it not burn? Do you honestly think-“

“What the fuck is your point mist?” Dew stands up to face her.

She can’t help her reaction. A gasp covered by her hands as she stares at what used to be her water ghoul. The gills along his neck had scarred over hastily, red and wrinkled irritated skin stretched over them irregularly. The veins in his hands had turned an ashy grey color, no doubt a side effect of the searing fire ghoul powers that now coursed through them. Dew quickly covers his hands with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, looking away from mists gaze.

“My point is I could hear you screaming in the infirmary dew.” A tear falls down her face as she fixates on the irregular skin around his neck

“I was fine”

“I stayed there every night until omega told me you were ok. Don’t tell me you were fine when I had to listen to you go through that” her fists clench at her side. Dew still won’t look her in the eye.

“You didn’t have to stay. That’s your fault”

Dew makes the mistake of finally looking at mist. A tear runs down her cheek as he takes in her own state. Dark bags under her eyes as she wraps one of dews discarded jackets around herself. The glance doesn’t last for more than a second or two before dew sits back down again. It’s not a sight he wants to bare, he doesn’t want to believe that mist has torn herself to shreds because of him.

There’s no response that makes sense for her to say. A sick feeling in her stomach after weeks of fighting with him to be told it’s her fault for caring. And maybe it was her fault for spending multiple sleepless nights in the infirmary, for standing at dews door multiple times a day hoping he would answer when she knocked, hell even for not being able to take off the jacket she stole from him months ago.

“I thought you were going to die dew”

The words burn in her throat. A reality she hasn’t yet faced but hits her like a bag of concrete.

He stands up once again, gaze fixed to the ground as he pushes past her to open the door and walk inside.

[eldritchelfwriter]

Trying to save Dark Justiciar Shadowheart

This one shot made me have to take a day off work due to horrific migraine from unshed tears from when I was writing it. Anyway, here's another extract. It's a bit surprising, how few Dark Justiciar route works there are out there.

Extract from Reaching for you - readers of Shadowheart Begins who haven't yet got to chapter 10, stay away.

“Your hands are trembling,” Shadowheart remarks, and she sounds delighted about it. “Clearly, I still have an effect on you.”

Florwyn ignores this. She knows why her hands are trembling, and she knows there’s nothing at all that she can do about it. There never is. “Why have you come?” she manages to say. “Just to reopen old wounds?”

“Well excuse me for dropping by on an old friend!” Shadowheart says, pretending outrage just a little too hard. Is Florwyn a fool to hope that the old Shadowheart is still somewhere under the pretense, below the surface? Yes, she answers herself. I’m an utter fool and always have been, when it comes to Shadowheart.

Florwyn puts her glass down and looks into those stunning green eyes, as Shadowheart smiles at her with her lip slightly curled. Gods, she used to dream about those eyes. “I know you have me followed when I’m in Baldur’s Gate, by your Sharran spies,” she says finally. It’s been a bit frightening, truth be told. But she doesn’t say that to Shadowheart.

“Call it … protection,” Shadowheart says, with a magnanimous wave of a hand richly decorated in black and purple jewels. “I look after my friends. Even ones as old as you.”

“I didn’t think you were allowed friends,” Florwyn says without thought, and her words score a hit as a shadow crosses Shadowheart’s face. Florwyn regrets it immediately. She did not intend to wound at all. “I don’t need your protection, Shadowheart. And I don’t want it, if you wouldn’t mind calling it off.”

Shadowheart recovers quickly and watches Florwyn drinking her champagne intently, as though she is waiting for something.

“Very well then,” she shrugs as though it’s of no import to her. “Your loss.”

Florwyn looks away to the stage, where Alfira’s students are beginning to play, the sound of lutes and drums filling the air. It will all be over soon, if she can just keep her cool. And not give Shadowheart any reason to be suspicious. A mixed blessing that Shadowheart would expect her to be anxious in such a setting anyway. The breeze would choose now to abate, though. Its sudden absence leaves her momentarily off balance.

“You can’t deny there’s still something there,” Shadowheart remarks, offhand.

“What?” Florwyn says distractedly.

“Between us,” she says, with a most suggestive smile, her eyes flickering between Florwyn’s eyes and lips. “A frisson. I bet you’re wet, just looking at me.”

Florwyn looks at Shadowheart in disbelief, her anxiety suddenly forgotten. Does she really believe her seductress routine will work on her? (All right so her heart did flip, just a little. And that buzz might not be just the champagne). “If you still haven’t gotten over us breaking up –”

“I assure you I have,” Shadowheart returns coolly, her brows knitting together.

“I married, Shadowheart.”

Shadowheart blinks.

“Did you think I spent the last twenty years pining after you?” Florwyn says, with a little more bite than she intended, but she is heartily sick of Shadowheart’s needling little comments. “Because I didn’t. I moved on. I met a wonderful woman. A special woman who – ”

“Spare me all the lovey dovey details, will you?” Shadowheart interrupts scathingly, wiping sweat from her brow and still watching Florwyn expectantly. “I’m sure it’s all delightfully mundane. Find someone who cares, Florwyn. I don’t.”

Florwyn flinches, as though Shadowheart has slapped her in the face.

Because that is not the Shadowheart she’d been becoming before the Nightsong happened, at all. God she’s the world’s worst fool.

She sighs, dreading what is coming next...

[kingly-genderfluid]

“No worry. I get it. Inupi is unpredictable when it comes to things like these. He can either choose to ignore you, or he can snap back. Teenagers are just a lot to handle. Genya over there seems like he’s not been spared from the teenage drama. He looks as if he’s been cut badly. He’s got a huge scar on his face. Is the kid okay? More importantly, he sounds like Sanemi Shinazugawa. Looks like him too. Acts like him as well. They related? Ah. I’m being to nosy. Never mind. You don’t have to tell me. It’s his secrets. But seriously, I think they need some sort of leash. Those two might go feral if they see each other again. I doubt Dango is going to stop my brother from going off on Genya the next time he sees him.” Inui sighs. “I’m no teenage expert, but I think both of them were just trying to defend their own pride. They should just stick to working on themselves, little by little. I admit. I was worse than them at that age, so I don’t get to say anything, but I kicked a guy in the place where the sun doesn’t shine because he called me an attention seeking brat. I had to carry three bags of sand while climbing a mountain 20 times before the sun came down as punishment. I never knew back pain until then.” Inui shudders. “Inupi is lucky he didn’t get Shuji as his main trainer. He’d have made Inupi wear weights and made him drag a cart full of cow manure by now. Effective, but traumatising. How did you train? Did you have a mentor?”

Gyomei hums as holds his prayer beads and tears start to form.

Genya is … my son, for a lack of words. I try to keep him level headed, anything of his past, I cannot tell you. As far as a mentor, no. Everything I’ve learned is all self taught.

(Tumblr is fucked up)

“Self-taught, huh. Wow. Himejima-san…you’re Awsome. I can see why Inupi admires you so much. I’m jealous. I can admit that. Actually…what do you say? Inupi is the type to overthink even the smallest mannerisms of people. Skittish. Like a water strider. The minute he sees or hears something he thinks is a hint of disgust or dislike, he’s off. I don’t say anything to him because I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll hurt him.” Inupi gives a shaky sigh. “Himejima-San…he’s still a boy. He didn’t deserve to be raised by a family that didn’t deserve to have any children. He didn’t deserve any of this. At this age, he should be playing in the mud with others. Finding a job to provide for his loving family. Hell, with his smarts, he could be a scholar. A governor. He deserves better. He deserves better than a brother that can’t do jack for him. He deserves a brother that can tell him he’s doing great. He deserves a brother that can tell him he’s doing well without overthinking about his reaction. He deserves to be happy. And I’d trade my life for his happiness. I’m not sure making him a demon slayer was the best solution. He begged me to make him a slayer. Even though I told him that he’d have to trade a normal life for one of pain, he told me, ‘But Aniki! My life has never been normal! I want to help others like you do! I’m okay with it. I don’t want others to go through what others did!’ That was when I realised he was a boy with such a pure heart. Too pure. Soon enough he’s going to be broken down to pieces by the world, and I’m never going to forgive myself for it. I don’t know what I can do or say. I’m even worse than him when it comes to doubting oneself. I don’t. I can’t. And when those thoughts start coming in, I know I can’t do anything to stop them. I want to say something. I want to encourage him with my words. The best I can do is pat him on the back. And every second I don’t say something, I feel like the worst person on earth.” Inui stares at his hands. “I know I can say something. I just…I don’t know what.”

@ask-the-stone-hashira

[essie007]

Wheel of Time Season 2 Thoughts

Now that the season is over and I’ve had a few days to process I thought I’d put some of my thoughts about the season. No major book spoilers but I do make mention to some of the changes they’ve made while adapting the first two books. I might make a more book spoilery post later.

-Overall I really enjoyed the season. I think it was well written, tight and delivered both storywise and character wise. The costuming, special effects and art direction continues to be top tier and I found the season highly watchable and compelling. I did not love absolutely every moment and decision and definitely have a few nitpicks but as a whole I really liked it. I will say that I think a lot of the issues I did have with the season can be boiled down to the limited amount of time they had to tell the story they needed to tell. I really think this show would benefit from at least 10 episodes and season if not more, and I know that’s an opinion many have echoed.

- I loved all the White Tower stuff in the first half of the season. It was a good set-up for tower politics, different factions, how The One Power works and it introduced us to a lot of important characters.

-Hi Elayne! I love you and you are perfect girl!

-Nyneave’s Tower story and block was A+

-I personally didn’t mind Siuan’s book scenes being given to Liandrin. I think it was necessary to tell the story they needed to tell in the time they needed to tell it. And I thought Liandrin’s whole story, the explanation of why she turned to the Black Ajah was interesting both to make her a more compelling villain and to set up the stakes of the universe. We need to be worried that our heroes will choose the dark at some point, and for that to be a real threat we need good reasons why other have. All of her scenes were great. Loved her scenes with Nyneave, Egwene and Lanfear. And her petty fighting with Suroth. *chef’s kiss*

-I’m just gonna say it ok? Are you ready? I LOVE show!Alanna. Book fans can give me the stink eye if they want, but as she’s been portrayed on screen so far she rocks. The actress is incredible and the writing has done an excellent job as setting her up as a genuine, moral, strong and honestly necessary pillar of light in the dark. You really feel she is fighting on the side of good with everything she has, no matter what it costs her. She’s also a genuinely good teacher in the Tower! The way she fights for the girls, and for Moiraine, and later for Rand. We love to see it. Her story in many ways mirrors Moraine’s. The show has done a very good job of making her a character that you are strongly empathizing with and rooting for. And honestly book knowledge has only made me feel that more strongly. Knowing how many darkfriends she is holding the line against, you FEEL how necessary and important the work she does is. And I am starting to understand how she, like Moiraine and Siuan this season, and Rand in the story to come, might start feeling weighed down by that. My girl fits right in with the themes of the story. Sorry not sorry. I am weak for MILFs.

-Egwene’s entire storyline this season kicked ass. I think she had, hands down, the best story arc from beginning to end. I have very little to say about it because it was all perfectly done. And when she killed Rena, instead of sparing her like you’re expecting, oh boy did I cheer.

-Rand’s storyline, if you knew who Lanfear was from the outset was fun all the way through. Though I have it on good authority from @steel-wings that if you went in blind, it was quite slow in the beginning. I do have to say that the introduction to Rand this season being “he’s sleeping with an innkeeper for room and board” was the funniest and best thing I have ever seen. Dana The Darkfired from last season continues to give. No honestly, this is genuine foreshadowing (Selene is also *gasp* a Darkfriend) and character work. They decided to show Rand’s declining mental state and self esteem by contrasting how willing he was to sugarbaby this season with how against it he was last season. 10/10 no notes.

-Rand is a Mental Health Worker! I’m going to cry! Yes I know he has reasons for doing this but watching Rand with that old man, knowing he’s been doing this job for almost a year. Excuse me I need a moment.

-The Lanfear reveal kicked ass. She is so crazy and so evil and so manipulative. Love to see it in a villain. The scene where she “learns” Rand can channel was honestly hilarious. Although this was the moment that @steel-wings lost her patience with the storyline.

Steelwings: Ugh. This is so boring. She’s just there for his manpain. I can’t watch any more of this. It would have been better if she was evil.

Me knowing my wife is at the end of her patience and is about to abandon this show I love but not knowing how long they’re planning to draw the reveal out, pausing the tv: Do you want me to spoil you?

Steelwings: Yes! Spoil me! PLEASE tell me she’s evil.

Me: She’s evil :D She’s the most evil bitch whose ever lived. She’s so evil and so crazy and so manipulative. She’s Oppenheimer if he worshipped the devil and *horrifying spoilers*

Steelwings settling back in to watch: Love that for her. 🙂

-Perrin’s storyline was the least ineteresting and slowest of the mains but with the rest of the show so jam packed it felt like a nice break in some ways to have some breathing room with Perrin. We’ve got Egwene being tortured by the Seanchan and Mat being tortured by the Forsaken and Rand being imprisoned by the Amyrlin. Meanwhile, Perrin has met a cute girl and a dog. Good for him.

-MAAAAT. MAT! My baby boy Mat Cauthon. You are having a no good very bad life huh? And it’s only season 2 *cries* I did love the way he turned the dagger into a spear there at the end and also…HE’S A HERO OF THE HORN! I thought that was a perfect choice. Really made sense with his storyline and character arc. It also gives them a really good plot excuse for him to suddenly know how to fight with his big stick. Mat’s “I remember” and his Old Tongue and his immediate military Glow Up. So good. So fun. I will be screaming forever.

-Speaking of screaming forever the Cauthor reunion had me screaming and crying and dying. I will never be the same. It was giving big stars fading (but i linger on) by @butterflydm vibes. If you haven’t read it, it’s a fic that also adapts The Great Hunt as season 2 by saying “what if Rand just hung around Carhein playing Sugar Baby and getting dicked down while everyone else hunted for the horn?” (It’s really good and you should read it.) Hey @butterflydm how does it feel to be so smart and correct all the time?

-I was expecting the Mat stabs Rand moment to be caused by Compulsion, not friendly fire. It would have given him a really good reason to go searching for something to protect him from the OP in the future. But I’m not mad. We got some top tier cradling out of it. Although this is the second time Ishy has pulled that move (the first was with Rand at the Eye). Boy is not an original thinker.

-I know a lot of people were sad that Rand did not get cool sword battles this season. And look, I get it, the books lean hard in to the cool power fantasy moments with Rand, so if that’s your thing and what you came for, this show probably is letting you down. But I gotta say, as someone who has always been here for the characters and themes and narrative, I LOVE what they did with the battle here. AND with Rand’s learning curve.

-I love that Rand knows exactly one weave at this point, and that that weave is “make knife.” I LOVE that Lan is the one who taught it to him. (Miss me with your Lan hate.) I love that the first thing he did with it wasn’t fight an enemy but free Moiraine from her bonds, heal her, even though he’s not a healer. A knife is a tool and you can use it to heal or to fight. Just as Ryma used her healing weaves to rip Damane bodies apart, Rand uses his knife weaves to “heal.” I love that the second thing he uses that weave for IS to destroy Turak’s fighting force. I did not at all feel I had been robbed of a sword fight. I cheered! Excellent little Indiana Jones moment, right there. Rand WAS badass. And most of all I love that he wasn’t able to to defeat Ishmael on his own, that he needed Egwene and Perrin and Mat and Moiraine and Elayne and Nyneave. Like that’s the point! Lanfear is running around the city trying to dump the other Forsaken in the ocean. Ishmael is standing on that tower alone and betrayed with no allies. But Rand has friends! He has people who come to help him! And that is why he wins. That’s whole point. Hello theme of friendship and connection, I love you, never go anywhere.

-Also Moiraine being like I would kill thousands of people to help Rand made me snort and go “Ok Mom.” Yeah yeah scorched earth morality. Ruthlessness. She is on a mission to save the world even if she has to destroy the world in the process. But also Moiraine IS that meme from Parks and Rec. She has only had Rand Al’Thor for a year but if anything happens to him she will kill everyone in this room and then herself. Now fly the Dragon Banner.

-All that being said, there was one storyline this season that really did not hit for me, and I am sorry to say it was the Siuan Sanche of it all. I have spent a lot of time turning that episode over in my head and I still haven’t put all my thoughts together but ultimately I will say this. Yes, if you were expecting Siuan from the books her actions were definitely character assassination. She makes the exact opposite choices in the show. However, I understand why, both narratively and time wise those changes were made so I’m going to do my best to react to the story they told and the character they wrote, not the one I was expecting. The real problem I think with the story they told is that they didn’t give us enough time in Siuan’s POV and with Siuan’s story to really truly empathize with the decisions she’s making. We spend the episode in Rand and Moiraine’s POVs and honestly I think that’s a big mistake, because we don’t learn any new information about either of them. But in order for that moment at the end with Moiraine to truly be heartbreaking, in order for us to really understand why she’s imprisoning Rand at all we need to see her struggles and her fears and her beliefs. I talked earlier about how they do a good job showing what Alanna and Moiraine are up against but they needed to give us that with Siuan. We’re told she has enemies in the tower, we’re told she’s been depending on Moiraine and Rand to be the ace up her sleeve in the last battle, but we don’t see the emotional toll of that. And at the end there I think the writing needed to make it perfectly crystal clear that Siuan believes that Moiraine is black ajah. A casual viewer should understand and feel for Siuan who is doing this terrible thing because she believes she is saving the world, saving Rand, from a Forsaken and a darkfriend who has lied to her and betrayed her. But it's just not there. I understand that this plot point and this story serves a narrative purpose. It sets up Rand's relationship with the White Tower and the Aes Sedai as a whole. It draws a thematic parallel between the three Oaths and the Seanchan oaths and damane system. It brings up the theme of how power corrupts, how even good people who are doing their best to help the many, can use their power to do horrifying things when they believe it is necessary. But I think it still needed more set up and more character development and more room to breathe. I have…a lot more to say on the subject but I might need to make it it’s own post. I definitely think the writers have set themselves up for a headache when it comes to next season but that’s spoilers so I’ll end this here.

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2, post Lair of the Shadow Broker wrap up:

Liara invite to Normandy

-This was clearly written with a Liara romance in mind. Shepard pours drinks, Liara’s wearing a fancy dress, at the end Shepard sits on the bed and says “Come back soon”…

-If you aren’t romancing Liara, no one drinks the wine. Does Shepard just chug it back after Liara leaves?

-If you go renegade, Shepard acknowledges that Horizon was set up even as they (weakly) attempt to justify TIM’s actions

Shepard is not having a good time in ME2

Samara

-Samara’s been hunting Morinth for 400 years. Brutal for both of them.

-Samara says there are three ardat-yakshi alive that the is aware of.

Even in ME2, this isn’t true. You get a Codex entry immediately after this that says around 1% of asari are on the spectrum.

She might have meant ardat-yakshi with the condition severe enough to be banished to monasteries, but that seems unlikely. Surely in one of the calls to her daughters they would have mentioned some of the others there?

Basically, either Samara outright lied or her writer was working from a different script than everyone else.

-Shepard says asari don’t mention ardat-yakshi in literature or art. Samara says this is out of a desire to hide their existence.

I suspect that’s true on the government level. There’s probably some censorship going on. On an individual level, there’s no way every asari creator has collectively decided to never mention ardat-yakshi. If nothing else, they’re way to useful a source of drama to not utilize.

-Considering that ardat-yakshi are sterile, how have they stayed in the genetic pool?

I suppose it could be like sickle-cell disease. Shitty if you have the misfortune to have the active form, but there’s an evolutionary advantage of some kind as well – like how if you’re a carrier of sickle-cell disease, you’re less likely to get malaria.

-Samara says Morinth fleeing proves that she wants to keep killing.

While I’m skeptical of that – not wanting to spend the rest of your life in a monastery seems a good enough reason for me – this makes it sound like Morinth had already killed. Likely by accident, since the dangers of an ardat-yakshi manifest at puberty.

Her first partner, possibly. Or – as I’ve seen speculated – possibly Samara’s partner, for an extra layer of trauma for everyone.

-Samara insists that killing is addictive for ardat-yakshi. I’d like to know some more about how that works.

There are people who claim sex is addictive, but plenty of people manage celibacy just fine. Is that what we’re talking about, or something addictive like a narcotic?

And how the hell does killing make Morinth more powerful? Does she absorb the what, mental energies of those she kills?

-So Samara learned Morinth as an ardat-yakshi after she presumably killed someone. Fine.

How did she learn her other two daughters were ardat-yakshi? Is there some kind of test that can be performed?

If so, why wasn’t Morinth tested earlier?

I suppose Samara could have refused the testing – the classic “it can’t happen to my child” thought process, even if would spare everyone trouble in the long run.

If not, how were Falere and Rila confirmed ardat-yakshi? What, were they locked in a room with a condemned prisoner and forced to bond with the prisoner to see if the prisoner died or not?

Or were they banished to monastery since the condition is genetic, just to be on the safe side?

Thane

-Thane and I are not on the same page. He’s back to insisting he has no guilt for his assassinations because he’s just a tool and killed on reflex. Actions performed on reflex don’t account. Only actions you choose.

And we’re just going to ignore that Thane chose to accept the contracts to kill those people…?

Also, I take issue with not holding people accountable for what they do on reflex. If you kill people on reflex, you chose to let yourself get conditioned to do so and you chose to put yourself in a situation where it might occur.

-Also, this makes the hanar sound shady as fuck. A species where “it’s not murder if it’s a reflex” has a huge “take advantage of me” sign on their back. And the hanar did.

What else do the drell do “on reflex” that benefit the hanar?

-This is the second conversation that dances around Thane’s dead wife. It’s odd because it ends at a natural lead in for discussing her. Why draw it out so long?

Garrus

-Garrus is so cheated of dialogue. He had one conversation when he came onboard and that was it.

Getting his loyalty mission is also a short conversation. Just a couple of lines and investigate options that essentially reiterate what he said in your first and only dialogue with him.

Compared to the conversation for Samara’s loyalty mission, this is nothing. Why did the writers not want to spend time on Garrus? He’s a love interest!

Tali

-And Tali is also apparently on the “do not engage” list. I’m not getting anything more from her until her loyalty mission.

She’s also a love interest. This is ridiculous.

-Yes, I know this is because Garrus and Tali are returning characters from ME1. The writers probably didn’t know what else to do with them or wanted to make sure you fell in love with the new characters, so focused their attention on them.

I still think sidelining them was a poor choice. ME2 was intentionally written so new players could easily pick up the game; they wouldn’t know anything about Garrus or Tali. They’re also both aliens – would it have been that hard for the writers to come up with new points for them to discuss with Shepard? Have them discuss media, or political events or something.

-Considering that Garrus and Tali are both dextro, in universe they could probably file some kind of discrimination complaint. The writers only think levo characters are interesting.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hi India!

I wanted to pop by and say hi! You're very cool and I find myself hardly ever disagreeing with you, but when I do, I walk away with having read a differing but interesting perspective on several topics. It also helps that you're super duper eloquent and articulate, and there have been several instances where I have a thought and no way to put it into words and find that you have done that very effectively. You're also SO KIND??? I can't.

You're a gem, a badass and most importantly (to me, at least) one of my favourite authors of all time. I love you! I hope you have the best day/night ahead!

I genuinely don’t know what sort of magic you have in your heart that you knew I needed something like this today, but thank you. 🩵

I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m rarely (if ever) called cool. I guess in a traditional sense, I’m not (I’m super basic, and I’ve learned to embrace it) but I’ve always wanted to be. It’s a trait that’s always felt elusive to me; I just have never “had” it (although many people in my life do, in spades) and I’ve always wondered what it would take to get there.

It’s funny, because when Harry’s House first came out, a lot of people dissed the lyrics of Cinema, saying it was juvenile; meanwhile I was sitting here thinking it perfectly captured Louis Tomlinson because I totally know what it feels like to get all sparkled out by someone, and to look at them and think “Fuck, they’re so cool.”

So thank you for what I will now refer to as my Cinema moment. 🥰 and, I’m really glad hearing my opinions feel beneficial in some way, whether it’s because they voice some thoughts you have or because they give you a different perspective. What I like most about tumblr is that the format encourages that level of exchange if you pick and choose what conversations to have and how to have them. Sure, it doesn’t spare you from people determined to misunderstand you, but messages like these make me feel like I’m at least not screaming into the void.

As for every other compliment you peppered in there, dude. My heart is glowing. Seriously, thank you. I’m not always kind, but I try to be, and I feel like I’ve been made infinitely kinder by Larry and by being a larrie.

Forgive the 100k word count thank you, I just really really really needed this today. 😘✨

[voxofthevoid]

i shall ask once more. \o/ 12, 26, 39 (is there another snippet in stock, void-sama?) and 55! <3

Welcome back 💚

List of questions here

(I should start keeping a list of things people call me on Tumblr...)

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

Like I said in response to another of these questions, I am not immune to having expectations...which have admittedly been skewed by hanging around in MCU/stucky (guys, you spoiled me).

Receiving feedback makes me happy, often derangedly happy. There's that simple pleasure in sharing something I made—something I put a lot of time, effort, and joy into—and seeing it have an effect on other people. There's a reason I reread my comments (and Tumblr tags, when applicable) a zillion times.

Not receiving it is predictably disappointing, though the intensity varies a lot with my level of investment in the fandom/ship and, more importantly, the particular story. You know those jokes about how the fics we work most on and are most proud of tend to be less well received than something we throw together in a hurry? Yeah, that's always an...interesting experience.

What feedback doesn't affect is whether I write or what I write. This wasn't the case until last year or so, but now, nearly everything I post is already fully written and being posted on a monthly schedule. It spares me from being discouraged in the middle of writing a fic. Similarly, darkfic tends to not be as popular as fluff or even hurt/comfort, but literally nothing else sparks up my brain like some gourmet fuckery, so nothing's going to make me stop writing those stories.

...holy shit, that got long.

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

THE FUCKING KIDNAPPING FIC

I cannot tell you how weird/wild it is that this thing unraveled the way it did. I know I post a lot of multichapters for JJK, but I don't really consider them multichaps as such. More like...six-shots or something (don't ask). I was content poking at porny bits of canon divergence scenarios.

And then @nearalways asked one(1) question: What'd have happened if Yuuji had chosen not to be Sukuna's host when Gojou tells him to choose his hell? We'd also been talking a lot about how dead-eyed and done Yuuji looked in most of his middle school-era flashbacks. Long story very short, I wrote a 119k answer that has done irreparable damage to my sanity and irrevocably changed how I write Gojou in particular.

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

I always have snippets! Especially since I've got some...300k of JJK fic I haven't even posted yet. You can find it under the cut.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Yuuji, hands down. The whole reason I'm even in this fandom is because I adore that kid. I haven't been this fascinated by a shonen MC in ages. Me being me, this does mean I put him through unimaginable horrors though!

And no, not at all. You, uh, might notice that I tend to be very set in my opinions 😂

Snippet here:

Yuuji yanks at the hand pinning him down.

There’s a moment where it works. Gojou’s fingers loosen, and his whole rhythm falters, and Yuuji almost, almost frees himself, wholly intent on flipping them over, but then there’s a soft breath of laughter, and a second hand clamps down on the wrist Yuuji has nearly wrenched free.

He makes a furious final attempt, throwing the whole of his strength into it, but this time, Gojou’s hold doesn’t waver for even a second. He’s grinning down at Yuuji, the devil on his lips.

“Devious,” Gojou tells him; it sounds like a compliment. “You’ve grown stronger, Yuuji—much, much stronger.”

And that sounds like pure sex.

Yuuji’s hips buck up helplessly, and Gojou bears down against him, pinning him there too.

“Clearly,” Yuuji hisses through clenched teeth, “not enough.”

“I’m a different kind of beast,” Gojou says easily. His eyes grow heavy-lidded. “But one day soon, Yuuji, you’ll be able to hurt me. Really hurt me. Won’t that be fun?”

Yuuji’s brain is abruptly yanked away from his dick and shoved back into his skull. “What? No! I don’t want that!”

“Of course you do,” Gojou says, laughing. “You will. It’s alright. I’ll let you.”

“Gojou-sensei—”

“But that’s for later. What do you want right now, Yuuji?”

“You,” Yuuji says incredulously, a thousand meanings packed into that one word.

Gojou’s eyes narrow, a different kind of heat than the look he shot Yuuji before. “Don’t cop out on me now. What were you going to do, Yuuji?”

“Fucking—” Yuuji lifts his head just to slam it down on the mattress; it’s not satisfying at all. “I want to fucking touch you! What else!”

“Cute,” Gojou says, his smile growing wider and more unhinged at Yuuji’s growl. “Where, Yuuji? How? I’ve only been gone for nineteen days, but you already forgot the game. I trained you better than this.”

[shadamyheadcanons]

((In reference to this story, for some reason.))

This...this pisses me off. I don’t *think* you’re trolling, so I’m choosing to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you don’t know how rude you’re being.

(I don’t want anyone else to go and harass this person, either.)

First off: my inbox is temporarily closed for a reason. I was feeling burnt out on answering questions. I worked my ass off for that story. I took AGES writing all 6000+ words of it. I was excited when I got a couple replies for it...only to be met with someone insulting my ship and making ignorant claims about characters’ ages.

The reply section is for sharing your thoughts on that post. It’s not there so you can make off-topic criticisms and accusations. I didn’t put in all that effort for free in my spare time in the hopes that random people would waltz in and insult the entire purpose of this blog. You have your own blog for that. The reply section is NOT an inbox.

Now, the age thing. Short answer: No.

Long answer under the cut, because although it took longer than I expected to get my first instance of Shadamy Age Discourse, I want to have all of this in one place in case I get any more of it.

I don’t know which bootleg wiki that number was pulled from, but there has never been one shred of evidence in canon that refers to Shadow as 18. Not a single one. Whoever told you that is either accidentally spreading misinformation or flat-out lying. Always check the source if you’re pulling something from a wiki.

As a side note: some people are calling Shadow 17 right now because when you google “Shadow the hedgehog age,” you get this...

....but that isn’t Shadow’s age, either. It’s the age of the 2005 game named after him. You can see the ages of some other games and the synopsis of ShTH right underneath. People said he was 15 two years ago because of this. I wish Google would format it differently. It gets worse every year. This is a good example of why telling a legitimately curious person to “just google it” is not always a good idea.

As for canon analysis, traditional numbers do not work for Shadow’s age. The official word is that he is ageless. His timeline goes like this:

1. Created 50 years before the events of SA2 by Gerald Robotnik. Gerald is able to enlist the help of Black Doom by promising he’ll deliver him the seven Chaos Emeralds 50 years in the future.

2. Maria seals him in a stasis pod and sends him to Earth, where he’s released 50 years later by Eggman.

3. Black Doom arrives on schedule and demands the Emeralds.

This means Shadow was alive for less than a year on the ARK, yet he was already perfectly capable of having deep thoughts and carrying on full conversations with Maria, as shown in flashbacks. Whether it’s because he’s the ultimate life form or it’s a side-effect of his Black Arms DNA, his chronological age simply doesn’t operate the same way other Mobians’ do. He wasn’t affected by his time in stasis, either; he behaved as if he’d lost Maria yesterday. If he’d been conscious and aging all that time, his psyche would have been broken beyond repair. It’s an Aang/Captain America kind of situation.

So Shadow isn’t a middle-aged man. He’s not an infant. He’s not 17. And he’s definitely not 18. He is canonically ageless.

I personally care more about mental maturity with regards to this. It’s subjective, of course, but my opinion is that he’s mentally about 15, for these reasons:

- Sonic, who’s supposed to be his equal/foil, is 15. Sonic’s rivals are also consistently very close to him in age: Knuckles is 16, Jet is 14, Silver is 14, Blaze is 14, etc. I don’t think Shadow is presented as more mature than Sonic is, either. They typically have valid but opposing viewpoints on how to deal with problems.

- Shadow is often naive and easily manipulated (Gerald in SA2, Black Doom in ShTH, even Eggman if you count Sonic Boom).

- In his self-titled game, he displays various immature behaviors like having mood swings and constantly peppering his speech with minor curses like “damn” and “hell,” as if he’s a typical 14-year-old trying to sound cool and mature on his first day of high school.

Shadamy is fine. A three-year age difference is perfectly normal for adults. Anyone who actually reads that story you replied to will know it takes place many years after current canon. Just like almost all of my headcanons, it focuses on the potential future they have together. They don’t need a relationship right now.

And you know what’s even more important than all of that? Sega recently removed the ages from the characters’ bios on their website. Every single one. This could mean one of two things:

1. Frontiers takes place after a time skip. Sonic’s voice is noticeably deeper, and Ian Flynn seems to know something we don’t:

[Source]

Maybe all the ages will be retconned. It wouldn’t be the first time. Amy was originally 8. Knuckles was originally 15. Rouge was 17 in Sonic Heroes. I assume Sega then realized their “sexy” femme fatale character was a minor, so they panicked and hastily bumped her up to 18, something that will never not be funny to me.

OR...

2. They could be ditching canon ages altogether, which I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to. Some fans feel it was a mistake to include them in the first place, and when you get right down to it, most of them don’t make sense.

- Sonic had a birthday, but his age didn’t change.

- There are basically no adults. Rouge is only 18, but she’s somehow a secret agent who also runs a casino. You have to be 20 to drink, gamble, and enter a casino in Japan! She has to break the law every time she goes in there!

- Jet’s 14, but he leads the Babylon Rogues even though Wave is apparently 18 and Storm is 19.

- Tails is a homeowner. He is eight. Charmy is a professional detective. He is five. These are hilariously nonsensical.

Soooo...yeah. Shadow’s an ageless enigma in a franchise where exact age doesn’t seem to mean anything. You can personally think of him as being one age or another in terms of vague maturity, but you shouldn’t go around nagging real, hardworking people about made-up numbers.

If you’re actually interested in Shadamy, you can read some of my stuff. Try this cute headcanon. Or this AU. Or this little friendship ficlet.

If you don’t like Shadamy and you’re only here to talk down about the ship and my work, then go literally anywhere else on the internet. Up to you.

[genderqueerdykes]

Hello, I was wondering if I capfuls get few words of encouragement? Lately I’ve been struggling with wether or not I want to go on T or get top surgery. It took me a really long time to realize I’m trans mainly because I’m somewhat comfortable with presenting fem and am into “girly” things. I just really hate having to go through the world being constantly misgendered and for people on the outside to only ever see me as a girl. Even friends I’ve come out to slip up and use they/them pronouns with me even though I only use he/him because they have trouble actually seeing me as a man. I’m also frustrated because I actually DO want to start t for the bottom growth and facial hair, but I’m a singer and I’m terrified of my singing voice changing. No other side effect really bothers me except that one and honestly it would be really cool if my speaking voice was deeper since I have an extremely high pitched voice. Anyways all of these things have been causing me pretty bad dysphoria lately. I really appreciate your blog. Going through it and reading all of the asks from different queer people expressing their own struggles and experiences has helped me feel less alone.

i'm really glad to hear you feel less alone in your experience!

i really get what you're saying. getting misgendered all the time is so painful, especially if you're a fem trans man. it took me years to come back to being feminine, i had to transition socially so hard that i became "just some guy" and i really couldn't stand it because sure, i was passing as a guy, but i wasn't me.

it's hard to be a feminine trans man in the climate we live in currently, it's okay to be a "girly" dude, even if you're trans. i also understand not wanting your singing voice to change, i've gotten a lot of asks from trans guys about singing voice changes and it's important to a lot of us, myself included! i think you will be able to adapt to the changes in your voice, for a lot of trans men, the changes aren't so drastic that they can't find a familiar footing. it'll be okay, if you choose to take that route

i'm sorry that not being seen as who you are by other people is so damn hard, it really makes it so hard to want to even try to be yourself, because it's such a fight. the right people will see you for who you are. the right people will call you the right name and pronouns, no matter how you dress, look or act. the right people will love you for who you are, not who they want you to be.

i hope you're able to find a place where you can feel a bit less defeated. i get where you're at. i hope you're able to take some time to be a guy in your personal spare time away from judging eyes and just enjoy who you are. even if you have to go out of your way to aggressively gender yourself correctly, do it. if you have to look in the mirror and say "wow, what a handsome boy!", do it. if you have to make an account for a website under a new name and just be someone else, do it. whatever you have to do to feel like yourself. learn to love yourself first. learn to be comfortable being yourself for YOU first. then learn how to be yourself for other people

take care, i hope you're able to work through things. i know what it's like, if you need any more help feel free to come back! we're cheering for you =)

[elizaellwrites]

Find the Vibe Tag

Thank you @talesofsorrowandofruin for tagging me in this!

Rules: find an excerpt from your WIP that fits a vibe. I wasn't quite sure about this one, but I've determined mine to be things aren't always what they seem or hidden dangers/secrets. This excerpt is out of context even in its involvement in the full story, because it embodies both of these vibes and is more important than its throwaway inclusion may seem.

Content Warning: Character Death

From Chapter 6 of Legacy of the Fallen

He approached his friend, dodging around other students and groups that were too engaged in conversation to notice where they were walking. He stopped in front of him, watching him expectantly. “What’s wrong?”

Jacob was very still, just his eyes raising to look at him. His unusually bright golden-brown eyes held a darkness to them that Asher wasn’t used to. He could feel his muscles tense, suddenly on high alert, but he forced himself to relax. He had to keep calm to be able to help his friend.

He looked around the hallways, sighing at the continuous flow of students all around them. He shoved the idea of getting to class on time out the window, thankful that Ms. Larson was the most likely to excuse him for a situation like this.

“Come on,” he clapped Jacob on the shoulder, pulling him from the wall of lockers and directing him in the opposite direction that he would have gone to get to class. He led Jacob back to the spare classrooms, choosing a door he knew was usually left unlocked and slipping them both inside.

He flipped the light switch quickly, revealing the multitude of extra desks that were pushed all along the walls, chairs, and more desks piled atop them. Random boxes were strewn across the floor, looking like they hadn’t been touched since the start of the school year.

He turned to face Jacob, the other boy now standing stiffly with his arms crossed over his chest. “If you want to talk,” Asher began, softening his voice. “I’m here to listen.”

Jacob nodded slowly, shifting his feet and shoving his hands deep into his pockets with a sigh. “You know,” his golden eyes met his blue. “You’re making me feel bad about this.”

“It’s okay,” Asher assured him, continuing to ignore the uneasy feeling trying to rise in his gut.

“It’s not you, you seem like a nice guy but…”

Asher squinted in confusion.

“You’re better off being out of this,” he murmured, pulling his hand out of his pocket with a glint in his gaze.

Asher could just manage to see a flash of bronze before pain exploded across his neck. He tried gasping for breath, but nothing but a wheeze came out. He could feel warm liquid flowing across his skin as he raised a hand to try to touch his throat. He tried to meet Jacob’s eyes as a wave of dizziness overcame him, his feet stumbling for balance.

He felt the effect of the impact of his body hitting the floor, rather than the hit itself. Blinking blurrily up at the looming figure that seemed to fluctuate before him as it leaned down with the bloodstained bronze knife gripped tightly in his hand.

“This isn’t about you.” The breathy murmur was almost lost in the rush of blood in his ears. “Iruir rissallai arer fisua.”

The last thing he saw was the blade plunging towards him once again, his last thought screamed to the heavens.

Why?

Tagging: @writing-and-trying, @verba-writing, @words-after-midnight, @obsidian-goblet, and @marigoldispeculiar

[thatmcgwords]

“Essentially Less” is based on our very first original Blink called “Wesentlich weniger” by German journalist Dirk von Gehlen,

I’m convinced that in today’s world, attention is the most important resource because attention takes up time, and time is limited. When the midnight bell tolls, there’s not a single minute you can carry over to the next day – no matter how much money you have or how well-organized you are. The counter always resets to exactly 24 new h

The condensed information they contain will enable you to invest your money in saving time. The more these texts are reduced to the essential, the more valuable they’ll be because that’s what the emerging attention economy is all about – essentially less.

Momo is a beautiful literary metaphor for how modern society handles time, its plot nothing short of a fervent plea: Be mindful of your attention! And that’s true when it comes to content, too: lengthy and time-consuming content is still deemed a sign of achievement and intelligence. The value of a book still appears to be measured by its thickness. Squeezing more pages between its covers still seems to increase its authority and retail price. But we’ve reached a turning point. The quantity-value principle has come to an end.

American economist and Nobel Prize laureate Herbert Simon declared: “In an information-rich world, the wealth of information means a dearth of something else: a scarcity of whatever it is that information consumes. What information consumes is rather obvious: it consumes the attention of its recipients. Hence a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.”

They support the idea that the quantity-value principle will soon be outdated. In the future, value will be defined by whatever helps us save our scarce attention.

More is not necessarily better. There seems to be a satiation effect, meaning a certain point where we’ve consumed sufficient information.

We have to bear in mind that time is relative. It stretches and shrinks not through external influence but according to how we observe its passing. Or to quote the time researcher Jonas Geisler: “How we perceive time depends on whether we are on this or that side of the toilet door.”

It says that work always ends up consuming whatever time we choose to give it.

Here’s the thing: content and attention are measured by different standards. Content is measured in two dimensions: length and breadth. But attention is mostly measured in depth. Sometimes, these measures correspond – but not always. Deep content can be long and broad but it doesn’t have to be. Other times, people go to great lengths to explain something without ever digging deep. The essential part is to get to the heart of matters. I think it’s high time we valued shorter content – because it’s essential. Essentially less.

The prime minister believed avoiding wordy language and hyper-detailed analyses would save time and support clear thinking. 

VandeHei used his findings to build a new media startup called Axios. It aims to spare the attention of its readers by condensing publications into briefings.

1. What if we started prioritizing depth over volume? We could extend the notion of “don’t judge a book by its cover” to the idea of “nor judge it by its volume.”

2. What if we started striving for the essential? The phrase “Explain it to me like you’re talking to a 5-year-old” could be complemented by the request “Explain it to me as if I could only spare 1,000 seconds.”

3. What if we started producing texts that weren’t just meant to be seen, but to be read entirely? Writing a text for a public audience is a service. If we really want to reach people, we should make a serious effort to gain their attention.

4. What if we recognized the fact that our energy is guided by our attention? Our energy flows toward our focus. We know that from individual mindfulness practice. Now we have to acknowledge that social energy, too, is driven by public attention.

5. What if we treated attention like a resource worth protecting? Our present culture is all about saving resources. This idea should be extended to attention, our most essential resource.

Nur hier” – “only here.” Two words, printed on a paper cup I bought at Hamburg central station. The company that makes the coffee seems to put so much emphasis on the fact that it’s only being sold in Hamburg that it even branded it that way: “Nur hier.” This is a nice example of how less can be more. After all, “only here“ evokes a sense of urgency: “If you want this type of coffee, you have to buy it now!” We shouldn’t underestimate the power of the appeal to urgency. It reduces many options to one. No more browsing and sampling and trying and testing – this coffee can only be tasted here and now.

But think about it: the very fact that digital content is always available, fully and entirely, at any given time and place, inevitably leads to the imperative of its reduction for the sake of gaining your attention. Think of the story format on social platforms like Snapchat, Instagram, BeReal, or WhatsApp. Stories can only be watched for a couple of hours. This creates a sense of urgency similar to the words “only here” on the paper cup from Hamburg. “If you want to see this, you have to watch it now.”

Restriction has emerged as an effective lever to generate attention on the internet. Experience shows that you can restrict three things to create a sense of urgency and desire: time, access, and quantity.

1. Time. The dating platform Bumble adapted the principle of social media stories: Members can only see their “matches” for a limited number of hours. Shopping platforms are also increasingly adopting this form of restriction by only offering certain discounts during very limited periods of time.

2. Access. Limiting access to a selected group of people has long become the basis for many business models like invitation-only or sign-up-only online shopping clubs. Messenger and chat groups then elevated this distribution method to a communication culture of its own. These restricted realms are sometimes dubbed dark social spaces for creating value by being reclusive and invisible to the general public.

3. Quantity. Offers are limited in time and space or only available on a first-come-first-serve basis. For instance, crowdfunding campaigns often reserve special prices and rewards for, say, the first 100 buyers. And limited editions are, of course, also designed to create desire by effectively restricting quantity.

There’s an important difference between the efficient principles of stringency and the sneaky tricks of deceptive design. To illustrate this difference, let me add a fourth aspect to the three already mentioned: purpose. Purposeful restriction means there are factual and legitimate reasons to reduce or limit availability.

Does the moon shine even if we don’t look up to see it? Irish philosopher George Berkeley would have said no and referred us to his principle of “esse est percipi”: to be is to be perceived.

Well, it’s true that we have to look at the moon to see it shine. And the value of unplayed songs is only created when people listen to them. What’s more, in the economy of attention, the number of views and plays generates a value of its own. If something is consumed by a lot of people, it must be important – that’s the current interpretation of the network effect, also described as the Matthew effect due to the biblical verse: “For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.”

We all rely on this form of accumulated value to navigate our own attention. A cluster of people swarming around a market stall automatically triggers our interest – no matter what’s actually being sold. Platforms like YouTube use the same principle by prominently displaying the number of views for every video and shifting our attention away from substantial criteria like the actual quality of the content. The main goal of this minifesto here is to raise awareness on how strongly our attention is manipulated by strategies like these. We could even translate it to an appeal inspired by the great idea of the Enlightenment: Attendere aude! Have the courage to use your own attention!

a condensed and concentrated variant of the classic book; an offer designed to save the audience’s attention and to convey the essential pieces of information with adequate brevity and clarity. This minifesto is a first attempt to describe this publication format. There’ll be further attempts – and I’m convinced they’ll keep evolving.

[kinnaymod]

It was my first "proper" computer, not a repurpose office box with a 8800GT strapped to it nor an ancient Athlon XP or Pentum III. This was my situation between my very first personal computer and it. (2007-2012, born in '97)

Mid-2012, after frying a Pentium D915 because of the OC setting of my previous Celeron E3300, my broke self finally had the option to get a ~1000€ computer. I choose all the parts myself with my 15 yo research skill, which made an ok computer in therm of specs, maybe i could have chosen better parts but at least everything was compatible. It was a FX-8350 pared with a Radeon HD7850 and 16go of RAM and god-damn, i was so proud of it, had no problem running games of the time until at least 2018 when i started to feel that time had not been kind to it...

Maybe i should have cleaned it more often, maybe the many times i moved it for LAN parties had it coming apart, maybe the time my idiot cat spray pissed it had irreversible effect i could never fix or just the fact that my smoking habit is as bad for me as it was for him... Don't get me wrong, i did the usual maintenance. I remember him has the thing that kept me warm in the winter and wouldn't be able to play heavy title on a hot summer day, I remember him for the random blue screen streak, up to 10 in a row, if it wasn't his day but an hour break would end the streak, that time his Ethernet port just disappear from my windows install and every subsequent install of said OS, forcing me to use a 20yo Wi-Fi card and grab a new Ethernet one some time later, other quirks include a 3.5 mm jack that needs constant force applied to it to have any kind of sound going to it and most jank of all, my handmade GPU cooler i had to make with spare fan that was at 100% for more than a year because i do be lazy sometime. :)

I know it sound like i'm complaining but if you read carefully, i stop cooling it an object a stared personifying it, because to me, he really had a life of his own and went through said life as i did, i never named it but when he was on his worst time, i would talk to him, encouraging him before a reboot or lecturing him for an issue that would not be resolved, and most of the time, he prevailed, he so it through, he always had my back and never gave up... It some point i knew those were his last day as my daily and started to go easy on him, stop playing those new games at 15-20fps, stop those hours long render and compil, and placed him in a kind of early retirement, keeping to old or non-demanding games, finally setting the CPU clock speed back to stock which wasn't the case for 10 years and simply go easy on him...

Now that i have again the option for a new computer, i want to thank him for all those years of service and enjoyment, all those hours lost to video games, talking with friends and meeting new people, countless movie watching,learning new hobbies and perfect other i already had, thank you.

Hope you have a nice retirement, love - Y.L OS : - Windows 10 Pro 64-bit CPU : - AMD FX-8350 - OC: 4.4 Ghz RAM : - G.Skill 4 x 4Go - 2133 MHz Motherboard : - ASUS M5A97 R2.0 GPU : - Sapphire AMD Radeon 7850 2Go - OC: 1050 Mhz Case : - NZXT Phantom Usb 3.0 Edition (Black and Orange)

[deathbymas0chist]

Hey hey! Wondering if I could get a brat tamer Vil schoenheit with a very bratty fem MC? I can see the punishments spanning with something like taking a quiz about beauty products but each question she gets wrong they get paddled/ spanked, have an amazing day!!

༒ 𝖛𝖎𝖑 𝖘.

༒ Summary: you decided to be a brat, testing vil by ruining one of his expensive makeup products, so he teaches you the importance of looking your best by testing you on makeup products.

༒ A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long to answer! I’ve been busy with a lot of things so I haven’t had the energy to write but I hope I can get back to it more this week! I love vil so much and this ask rlly felt like it was accurate to his character, but I made him a bit soft at the end bcs I love soft aftercare sm <3 I hope I did this well and that you enjoy!

༒Word count: 1.6k.

༒Content warning: Fem! Reader , spanking , degradation , dumbification , mean dom! Vil , edging , brat taming , let me know what I missed!

“Does my pretty baby not know the answer to this question?” The condescension laced in his words was dripping with venom, along with a scowl on his face, ruining his usually collected demeanor. He raised his gloved hand, holding a purple paddle, bringing it down swiftly. He couldn’t afford to bruise his delicate hands by trying to teach you a much needed, valuable lesson. 

This all started because you were being a whiny brat, complaining that Vil was paying more attention to his “stupid, fake makeup” rather than you. At first, Vil was uninterested in your incessant tantrum, choosing to ignore you until you gave up and got tired, but you decided to really push it today.

Picking up one of his expensive concealers, one that got sent to him by a very popular makeup brand, you opened it carefully, before pouring more than half its contents out, right in front of Vil. He had been used to your irritating tantrums before, but this really had done it for him, especially since he had a photo shoot to attend in less than twenty minutes.

The rest of the events leading up to this current situation had been blurry. Hours later, you found yourself laid down across his lap, ass up, with your tear stained face, and bruises decorating your delicate skin. you could hardly think past what had happened after that point because of Vil's ruthless blows on your ass that kept your mind numb and legs shaking. 

“I’ll ask you again, one more time. What is the purpose of this product.” The sound of his voice brought you out of your daze, as he demanded an answer out of you. He had stopped asking questions a long time ago, after realizing you couldn’t even process a simple question such as “why are cleansers important for your skin?” The answer was right in front of you, were you that much of a stupid slut? You couldn’t even comprehend that it cleans your skin, as the name suggested? 

ou could only babble incoherently, your eyes glassy from the tears. You could only hope that he took pity on you and spared you from the pain, but his eyes only got harder. “I should have expected nothing less than you being this empty-headed, after all only someone like you wouldn’t manage to realize the importance of maintaining one’s beauty.” 

Sighing in disappointment, he raised the paddle once more, before bringing it down harshly.You let out a loud sob, pleading with him to have mercy. “I-I do realize the im…importance o-of maintaining beauty though! I j-jus’ thought you didn’t need it cus’ you’re already pretty..!” You let out a sniffled sob, begging for his forgiveness. 

But your words only fell on deaf ears, as he continued to ignore your begging. “You know you wouldn’t have even been in this situation if you behaved and had some patience. Your thoughtless flattatery has no effect on me, I know what you're trying to do and it’s not working. Now, I have to be the one to teach you some proper manners before you decide to act up like this again.” He sharply said as he continued to add to your collection of bruises. 

”M-m’ sorry! I won’t do it again! I promise- I won’t touch your makeup a-again, I- I mean it!” He knows you're bluffing, you do too. It’s always been like this. You keep making false promises, never following through with them, but Vil always seemed to let you go. Maybe it was the fact he liked to teach you these lessons over and over again, or just seeing you crumble like this under him, that kept him allowing you to continue with this behavior. 

He rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore your words once more. Continuing on with your punishment, Vil moved on to the next question, as you were clearly unable to answer the question you were currently on. His eyes glinted maliciously, as he asked “What was the price of that concealer that you decided to waste?” He knew the answer, It was close to 700 dollars. He was a very high-end model after all, only the best was fit for him. But you on the other hand, couldn't possibly fathom the idea of something that expensive was made to be worn. 

To his surprise though, you shouted out “680!” It was the exact amount. Did you know how expensive that makeup was, but you still purposefully decided to destroy it? Why? A lot of questions were going on through Vil’s mind, but he decided to push those thoughts away. After all, you actually did manage to get the question right. 

He softly smiled as he spoke “Ah, i'm glad you're aware of how expensive that product was, after all you were the one who decided that it wasn't worth much after you destroyed it. But nevertheless, you still got the question right, so I guess you deserve something good from this.” He was still very upset with what you did, but he decided to give you some sort of break, after all you had been trying to answer his questions, even though you were brainless. 

He slipped off his leather gloves, finally deciding he was going to touch you. He wanted to feel you properly whenever he did these kinds of things. He brought his fingers up to your slit, softly playing with your folds as you moaned in contempt at his touch. Taking his time with you, he slowly slid his thumb to the button of your clit, he started to rub slow circles into it, you were writing under his touch, and he hasn't even put anything in you yet. 

Your thighs began to tense up around him, as your cries got louder and your body began to shake. It was like you lost yourself in the pleasure as your body reached its high rather quickly and unexpectedly. 

Vil took his hand away from you, looking at the mess you made on his intricate fingers. With the disappointment back on his face once again. “And just when I thought you finally had a shred of self control… Guess I really can’t expect anything from you. I think you need to be taught another lesson.” He shook his head as he exhaled another sigh of disappointment, before lifting up the paddle, and starting his new lesson. 

He flipped you over, and made you straddle his lap, and gripping your jaws between his fingers he looked directly into your eyes. You could see the passion between his light violet irises, and it made you shiver anxiously. He never broke eye contact, watching you intently as he pulled out his hard cock from his tight confinements. Slowly sliding the tip of his pretty pink head across your slit, and you let out a breathy moan at his teasing. He pushed the tip in after playing with you for a while longer, your wetness immediately welcoming him in. 

He gripped your waist tightly in his hands, lifting you up and pulling you back down, making you ride him while he offered you not even so much as a single thrust. He wanted to make you do all the work, making you earn what you wanted. You had been getting lost in the pleasure once more, with your mind even more dizzy. It was hard trying to chase after your own release without Vil’s help, but with his soft hands guiding you, you could manage. 

You leaned into his neck, softly moaning into his ears, you were so tired, you just wanted to be taken care of. Soon enough, after you had put all of your effort into reaching your high, you felt yourself start to build up, tethering on the edge. Your core was tightening, about to snap, when you felt Vil’s grip on your waist tighten, pulling you off of him before you got the chance to properly ride out your orgasm. 

You whined loudly in response, Vil could only chuckle at your cute whines. “Does my pretty girl want more?” There he was, with that fake concern in his voice once more. “Well too bad, because I told you that pretty girls need to learn self control” His words made fat tears start falling from your eyes as you cried out of frustration. He could only wipe them, softly brushing his thumbs across your wet cheeks, giving you a soft kiss afterwards.

A few hours later, vil had cleaned you up and you both were in bed. You had been  carefully laying on your stomach, and Vil was applying all sorts of his lavish, elegant oils and lotions on your sore and bruised body. “Was I too rough on you, my love? I hope I didn’t hurt you too much,” he whispered as he leaned over your shoulder and planted a soft kiss on your temple, as his fingers continued to knead your soft skin and release the tension in your muscles. Times like this where Vil was soft after a rough session was your favorite, he always made you feel like you were royalty as he pampered you and got you anything you asked for

“M’fine jus’ a lil’ sore,” you replied softly, still exhausted from your previous session with him. You were lulled to sleep soon after with how Vil’s fingers were moving against your skin. He smiled in content at your relaxed face, knowing you faced the consequences of your actions and thoroughly paid the price, both figuratively and literally because the the money of the broken makeup had been charged to your bank account and you were now almost 700 dollars more poor.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones