#but i'm boy

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

Sam is good at pushing down her feelings, despite how others perceive her, she is far from the talky-feely person people claim her to be. It's healthy to talk about emotions, and well...she's far from healthy in most senses. Despite her best intentions to be better. She can't ever admit to her own feelings, it doesn't mean she won't listen to others. She likes to give them the shoulder she hasn't had since Jess. It's easier being everyone's support than to lean onto any of them for the heavy stuff. Call her a hypocrite if you must.

Naturally, of course she's been pushing down her feelings for Castiel for years. She assumed the awe she felt meeting her would've melted away, and she supposes it has. Now she has an actual understanding of who Castiel is, which is so much worse than the blinding adoration she had when they first met, Knowing her for her best and worst qualities... she's so far gone and there's no saving her. Letting the longing and yearning fester into something that knocks her off her feet every time she's pulled into it. Anytime those blue eyes stare into her soul, and she tries to pretend she doesn't lean in to hear her gravely voice better. The reverence in her voice when she speaks in devotion for humanity, how is she supposed to be immune to it?

She stared down at the letter in front of her, it had been written and revised a million times already. There had been a close call today, Death nearly collected them all today. Sam wonders if Billie was disappointed or relieved She didn't have to deal with them today.

The note was as perfect as Sam could make it, while writing it she was so sure she'd deliver it immediately. The scare was enough for her to write the damn thing, but she's been hiding in her room ever since. Spinning around in her chair she sighed, thinking about Castiel throwing Jack to her for both their safety, sacrificing herself in the process. She hasn't seen or felt the fear in a while. Every hunt they take, Death is always lurking, but She was too close today. She swears she saw Castiel mouth the words, "I love you," when she thought it was her time. It had to be for Jack. Not her.

She closed her eyes, rubbing her face. What is she doing? She can take on the Devil but delivering a tiny letter to a friend is too scary? Terrifying. More to lose here than with the Devil. But is there more to lose if she says nothing?

Shaking her head she stood up, prepared to throw the letter away when she heard a loud crash. She ran to the source, instincts kicked in as she had grabbed a gun and had her knife ready for whatever she was about to face.

Running past the rooms, right into the kitchen where Castiel and Jack were picking up dishes off the ground. She sagged in relief and put her weapons in her pockets, setting the note down in favor of helping the two clean up their mess. "What happened?" She asked.

"Gravity," Castiel said, setting the scattered dishes into the sink.

Jack sighed, "It was me, I tried balancing the dishes and it didn't work out very well."

"Yeah, I can see that," Sam said, putting the last loose dish into the sink, "I'm just glad it wasn't an intruder."

"It'd be less embarrassing," Jack muttered, Sam patted Jack on the shoulder, "Yeah, but we've had enough scares this week."

Jack turned on the water, getting ready to wash the dishes, "Uh, I got this Jack," Sam said.

"I won't mess it up," Jack said.

"I'm not worried about that, Jack. It's just a few dishes, I got this, you should go relax. Okay?" Sam reassured, Jack glanced at Castiel and sighed, walking off. Wishing one day would go by without a huge screw up.

Castiel moved next to Sam drying the dishes as Sam washed and rinsed them, "Has Jack told you about the nightmares?" Castiel asked.

Sam shook her head, "No, I've heard them... but Jack doesn't want to talk about them...have you heard anything?"

"No," Castiel replied, shaking her head, "Jack thinks talking about it will burden us."

"I wish Jack knew how good they are, sure they're not perfect but I blame that on who is raising them."

"We're raising them," Castiel said.

Sam pushed her hair back out of her face, "Exactly, we're not exactly the best role models, especially with talking about our problems. They're not the only ones who avoids saying anything so they're not a burden."

Castiel sighed, "I guess you're right about that," she placed the last dish into the cupboard it belonged in, "Still wish we could do more for them."

"Me too, maybe they'll come around to talking to us," Sam said, and Castiel repeated, "Maybe."

Drying her hands, Sam looked at the counter, her letter was right there, fuck. Castiel noticed Sam's reaction and furrowed her eyebrows, patting Sam on the arm, "Are you okay?"

Sam nodded, swallowing hard, "Yeah, yeah... I'm fine." Looking back at Castiel who didn't look convinced.

"Maybe one day you'll be able to talk to me too," Castiel said, her hand sliding off Sam's shoulder. Sam closed her eyes, fuck.

"I can," Sam said, "I don't, I know, but it's... we know how screwed in the head I am. It'll all tumble out if I let it."

"Let it," she said, Sam scratched her face, "If I knew how, I would."

Castiel looked back at the paper, "Well, I'll be in the library if you figure it out."

Sam was alone in the kitchen, she picked up the paper, reading a random line, shaking her head, tossing it in the trash. Who is she kidding? She's a coward with feelings. Today is no different than yesterday. If she had any courage she would've opened up right there and then, handed her the letter, or followed her to the library. Not head to her room, closing the door behind her, muttering to herself. If only she had the courage.

[taffywabbit]

they should invent a new type of "staying in bed for 2-3 hours after you wake up repeatedly opening and closing apps on your phone" where it makes you feel awesome and energized and emotionally fulfilled

[nikossasaki]

DEAD BOY DETECTIVES S1 + TUMBLR REACTIONS

[heavensickness]

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

"Bruce loves his children to infinity but sucks at communication" gotta be one of my favourite tropes.

What Bruce means: I miss you so much it hurts, you are a great hero, and I'm really glad that you still consider me as part of your life and share your thoughts with me.

What Bruce does: hums meaningfully in response to Dick's story.

What Bruce means: I'm sorry about everything that happened between us, I still love you and want to fix our relationship, I'm incredibly grateful that you don't avoid me.

What Bruce does: nods at Jason when sees him on the patrol.

What Bruce means: I deeply care about you, you are truly important to me, I worry about your health and I don't want you to repeat my mistakes, neglecting yourself for the sake of a mission.

What Bruce does: gives Tim a snack without any explanation.

What Bruce means: I'm very proud that, despite everything you were taught, you choose to be a good person and help people, you have a kind soul, and it's an honour to me to call you my son.

What Bruce does: gives Damian an intensive head pat.

Should I say that Cassie is a blessing?

They stare at each other's soul for a solid five minutes and it's basically a full ass conversation.

[abracadaze]

i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken

[reasonsforhope]

Sometimes you just have one of those moments where the progress we've made as a culture get thrown into stark relief. You look at something and go "Holy shit, that would never have happened when I was a kid."

Today, I had one of those moments when I realized that the teenage boys I'm working with are just. genuinely, openly enthusiastic about going to Build-a-Bear for their outing.

These are sixteen and seventeen year old boys! They just had a whole conversation about what to name their "cute", mostly new squishmallows! They're genuinely excited that they're going to Build-a-Bear this weekend and asking other kids to pick up specific accessories for them!!

Holy shit, that never would've happened when I was 16. None of the boys would have dared to be visibly interested - and neither would most of the girls! There would have been a million gay jokes and "Haha, you're a girl" jokes and "What are you, a baby?" jokes. Teenagers weren't even supposed to care about anything back then!

Less than 15 years later, and I'm watching three 17 year old boys treat all that as not even worthy of comment.

So let's call that a reason for hope. Even when the kids aren't alright, in some ways apparently they are alright. Go Gen Z, honestly. It's so lovely to watch you guys just openly doing and saying stuff that, when I was a teen, would've been a social death sentence.

[lazylittledragon]

if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

[t00thpasteface]

"i've just been working on a... celebrity impression. it's for a sting operation of sorts i've been putting together. yes as a matter of fact it WILL keep me busy tonight—"

[blakbonnet]

my gay ass just assumed crystal was experiencing beautiful lesbian love

[whogirl42]

Grover being all sweet innocent cinnamon roll reasurring Percy and Annabeth that he'll be okay staying behind with Ares like he isn't planning 5D chess psychological warfare on the god of war be like

[rcrisdraws]

Did you know horses can't pant? 🤔

[marzipanandminutiae]

"most allegedly haunted houses turn out to have gas leaks!"

no they don't. you are merely skimming the surface of mundane shit that can be wrong with old houses with your one puny little explanation that only fits a very small number of cases. try harder

[nikossasaki]

you guys are like a dead married couple on acid

[seance]

DEAD BOY DETECTIVES + the onion headlines

[thedudejaxx]

soon there will be too many of me to handle