#but i'm still an emotional wreck two days later

[najajm]

idk but i'm in my feels about the new cr chapter and wanted to draw dorcas soooo here we are! i can't really draw dogs though so apologies to stella ;(

(fic; crimson rivers by zeppazariel)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Pernille's Princesse

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: A look back at your birth from Pernille's perspective

It was, ultimately, a good idea to visit the Wolfsburg team.

Pernille was feeling terribly bad, all fat and bloated. She feels restless too, which is what actually prompts her to drag her heavily pregnant self to the training grounds to get some fresh air.

She's talking with Nilla Fischer, Magda's national teammate, when it happens. She sucks in as pain flares before something that she's been predicting will happen soon, happens.

"Are you okay?" Fischer asks, having caught the wince.

Pernille grabs her upper arms. "My water just broke," She says plainly," Did you bring your car to practice? I'd appreciate it if you drove me to the hospital."

"Oh..er...yeah, sure."

Pernille keeps a tight hold on her emotions as Nilla bundles her into the car and sets off to the hospital. Mainly, because she knows that after she's made this phone call, she'll have to be the calm one of the pair.

"I'll be there soon," Magda's voice says in greeting, a hint of laughter within it," I'm just about to get on the plane."

"You need to call Emma," Pernille says casually even though she's gritting her teeth and squeezing Nilla's wrist over the gear stick.

"What?"

Pernille thinks that Magda might be a little slow today. "You need to call Emma." Her words are short and sharp and it's all she can do from screaming from pain. "And tell her that you'll be sitting the next few games out. You're busy."

"But I'm not?"

Pernille wants to scream and cry but she's trying to stay strong and not have a breakdown in Nilla's car. It doesn't quite work because she snaps at Magda. "You are! Because I'll be damned if I push your baby out and you run back to England a few days later."

She can hear Magda's sharp inhale of worried breath. "But...You can't be having her now! She's early!"

"By two days!" Pernille hisses as another contraction hits her. "I'll send you the hospital address. I don't care how you do it but if you miss this, Magda, I will not be happy."

She drops the call when Nilla pulls into an empty parking space, leaping from the car to help get Pernille out.

"Worried mama?" The receptionist lady asks as Nilla flaps about trying to get Pernille seen.

"Worried friend," Pernille replies as she fills in one last form, handing it back over the counter," The other mama is on a plane to get here right now."

The receptionist winces in sympathy and flags down a nurse to take Pernille to her room.

Nilla comes with her but after a few hours and a text from Magda saying she's landed, Pernille kicks their mutual friend out.

"You're hovering and it's stressing me out!" She snaps as another contraction comes through. "Go and wait outside for Magda!"

Nilla leaving gives Pernille time to calm herself, taking in long and soothing breaths as she rubs her stomach. "Come on, princesse. Just stay like you are for a bit longer or I'll have to kill your Morsa."

She doesn't need to worry though because, no sooner has a nurse confirmed that she's only five centimetres, does Magda arrive.

"Am I late?"

Pernille's lying back on the bed, hand still rubbing circles on her stomach. She deadpans," Does it look like you're late?"

Magda relaxes significantly before saying with a hint of laughter," I think I scared Nilla. I left all my luggage with her."

Pernille waves a hand dismissively. "She's got spare keys. The nurse said I'm only five centimetres dilated. We could be here for a few more hours. Have you called Emma yet?"

Magda's guilty face says everything.

"We have time," Pernille says," Call her now and tell her."

She's right, of course, because your grand entrance to the world doesn't happen until early in the morning. It's absolute hell pushing you out and Pernille's ninety percent sure that she's absolutely wrecked Magda's hand from how hard she was clenching it.

She definitely screamed as well and she also doesn't want to think about the fact that the doctor had a view of her the whole time.

"You did it," Magda says as Pernille slumps back against the pillows," She's here."

Pernille can hear you screaming and she smiles, absolutely exhausted. "She's here."

She watches as the doctor passes a bundle wrapped in your baby blanket to Magda.

You've gone quiet and you're absolutely beautiful, Pernille notes, when you're unwrapped and placed on her chest.

You're rooting immediately and Pernille can do little but stare in awe at you.

●～●～●～●～

Getting you home is easy and Pernille makes Magda drag the cradle into the main bedroom, so they can get you easily at night.

"Look at those legs go. You're going to be such a good addition to Sweden when you're older."

Pernille rolls her eyes as she sits up in bed, having taken a power nap. "You mean Denmark. I'm not raising my daughter to wear a Sweden jersey."

"We'll see."

Pernille picks you up and marvels, not for the first time, at how easily you fit into her arms. She moves to the rocking chair and places you in Magda's arms.

You both look so sweet together, so soft and loving that Pernille has to take a picture - immortalising the moment.

"That's getting framed," She says with a grin," I think I'll put it on my bedside table. So I can remember this moment with you and the princesse." She crouches down to make you wear the hood, caressing your cheeks.

"We need to give her a name soon," Magda reminds her but her eyes haven't left you," We can't keep calling her the princesse."

Pernille thinks of the list they made, the one taped up to the fridge door. They had been going back and forth for weeks. She bites her lip as the name she had heard recently comes to mind.

She hums. "I know it wasn't on the list," She says finally," But I like y/n."

Magda repeats it with a smile, looking down at you. "Is that your name? Are you a y/n?"

You kick your legs, slamming them into Magda and Pernille smothers her laugh.

"That's a pretty powerful strike, princesse." Magda looks up at her. "I think she's giving us her approval."

"I think so too. y/n Harder-Eriksson."

"y/n Eriksson-Harder."

Pernille scoffs and rolls her eyes. "We've got another day before the trip to the embassies. We'll argue about her last name later." Her hand ghosts over your head. "What matters right now is princesse has a name now."

"It's a very pretty name."

[merakiui]

Mera Mera Mera! Thoughts on twst boys if you tell them "no more sex" after an argument. Pretty please! 🥺🙏 💙 (You characterize them so well, I'm certain you can bless us with knowledge)

>:D I may have a few thoughts on the reactions!!! I shall bless you with said thoughts (i.e. twst cast being petty and silly).

Riddle - he's perfectly silent when he tears out the page in his life planner titled "dick appointments" and rips it in half in front of you. "Would you look at that? It appears my schedule's become open." He proceeds to fill the time slots with academics and club activities. Your "no more sex" rule goes both ways, but if you find yourself unable to bear it he might consider penciling you into his schedule. ...if it ever frees up, that is. :)

Trey - "Yeaaah, I had that coming," he admits with a sheepish chuckle. Trey very rarely argues with you. Ever. So maybe it was one-sided, but he still goes along with it to keep you happy and to end the argument as quickly as possible. He'll smooth things over by baking you your favorite sweet. He can be patient and wait if you're still stubbornly insisting on no more sex, but that doesn't mean he won't tease you often.

Cater - "Cowabummer." Yes, that's all he says. Yes, he gives you the sad thumbs-down and everything. Cater cannot be /srs for this one because if he's /srs you'll see the /srs sides of him that he'd rather hide behind a /j personality. (He later makes it up to you by apologizing and taking you into town to your favorite places. <3 you end up fucking in the changing stall in one of the clothing stores hehe.)

Ace - he rolls his eyes and laughs. "I never even wanted to fuck you anyways. You're, like, super mid." (He's lying. Please don't ban him from having sex with you. </3 This is how he's apologizing later.

Deuce - he's genuinely devastated. Nooo, what do you mean "no more sex"? D: that's not even the worst of it, though. Deuce is just sad that the both of you argued and that he said some things he's not very proud of. He was really mean and so were you. What were you even arguing about in the first place? Deuce's heart aches knowing you're so upset at him, so he does everything he can to make it up to you. It's fine if you don't want sex anymore; he just wants you to be happy.

Leona - he highly doubts you're serious. "Sure, okay. We'll see about that one," he tells you with a lazy half-smirk. "Good luck with that, herbivore." (he's so hot when you wake up next to him in the mornings and he has that rough morning voice...... you end up fucking the following day, too weak to his charms to keep up with your no sex promise. Leona teases you for that.)

Ruggie - "I'll live," he says with a shrug. Sure, it sucks that you no longer want to fuck and it also sucks that the two of you even argued in the first place, but he'll live. You and Ruggie are distant for all of one day before coming back together to sincerely apologize. He's a little awkward with his apology, but it does indeed come from the heart. Perhaps there's some makeup sex that follows...

Jack - another one who is more upset over the actual argument than your admission of no more sex. Jack feels so bad. :( his ears are flattened on his head and his tail is drooped; he's just so sad that he argued with you and made you angry. He was out of line and shouldn't have let his emotions get the best of him. If no more sex is what you truly want, he'll abide by that.

Azul - "Angelfish, I understand you're upset, but do you truly mean that?" You do, and you storm out of his VIP room and ghost him for the rest of the day. Azul goes through the five stages of grief within the span of a few hours. T_T he's a wreck, not only because you said no more sex but because you argued and you're angry with him and you probably hate him now and what if you break up and you never want to see him again and and and and and !!!!!!!! Sad tako hours.

Jade - he smiles patiently. "If you say so." (his compliance is too obedient; don't let him fool you. He's going to spike your drink with an aphrodisiac and then when you come to him begging for release he'll deny you in the same way you denied him.)

Floyd - "Shrimpy, c'mon, ya can't be serious." You turn away from him with a huff, arms folded over your chest. "S'not funny, Shrimpy..." He pouts at you, brows knitted in annoyance. You look him dead in the eyes and snap back with, "Good. Cuz I'm not joking, Floyd." (Floyd's in a foul mood for the rest of the day; no one dares go near him. His aura is too threatening...)

Kalim - if it's your first argument with him, he's genuinely compelled to throw a party celebrating it LOL. Kalim means well with it, too, which makes it arguably worse. ^^;;; but he is indeed very sad that things got to this point and that you were so angry with him that you even said no more sex! He sulks sadly. :( will a parade make you feel better? Or do you want more renovations done to Ramshackle? Do you want gemstones? Just tell him how he can make it up to you and he'll do it! He's so very sorry! >_<

Jamil - he rolls his eyes, shooting you an unamused look. "Very mature of you, (Name)." Jamil isn't going to entertain the argument anymore. If you want to talk things over, you can do that after you and he have cooled off. Although if he's truly intent on getting your forgiveness and nullifying your no sex rule right away, a little hypnosis might do the trick...

Vil - he gives you a critical look. "What does sex have anything to do with this?" If you're going to argue with Vil, argue about the subject matter and don't bring unrelated topics into it! >:( arguments with Vil always make you feel so bad because essentially he tells you to do better and think about your conduct. Of course he also reflects on how he acted and what even led up to the argument in the first place. Even his apology, though heartfelt and authentic, is so perfect.

Rook - "Mon amour, lovely trickster whom I adore most, oh, how you wound me!" He's so dramatic about it, but then he also wholeheartedly means it when he says and acts like that. "Shall we share a kiss of forgiveness and allow water to flow freely under the bridge once more?" He is truly sorry, but then he's sneaky when he's slipping his tongue into your mouth as if he's trying to drag your apology out of your throat and taste it in his mouth.

Epel - "Consarn it!" He's huffy, glaring at you with his cheeks puffed out. "If yer gonna throw a hissy fit and say no more in-out, in-out, then don't come crawlin' to me when yer feelin' it!" Of course he then storms off and is promptly scolded by Vil for such atrocious behavior. Epel realizes he was wrong for getting so worked up and he'll later apologize to you. You apologize as well, but for the rest of the week there will be no more sex. Epel thinks that's fair. He sort of deserved that one. T_T

Idia - "Wutever. I don't need 3D to be happy." He rolls his eyes and the argument ends there. (Idia later spends an entire week locked away in his room building a (Name) sex doll to make up for the lack of your touch.)

Malleus - poor Hornton... :( he sulks in the darkness of his room and no one knows the reason for why he's so upset. Sebek is distraught; whoever dared to put waka-sama in this sad mood will pay!!!!!! Telling Malleus no more sex makes him think you don't want him anymore and that you essentially are breaking up (which is not the case). Diasomnia feels the gloomy atmosphere for days to come. It's Lilia who finally manages to convince Malleus to come out of his room and go to you for a chat to resolve things.

Lilia - "Oh dear. That's rather unfortunate." Even though he says this, he doesn't seem very affected or surprised or even remotely upset. But then Lilia's been through countless arguments, some far more severe than the one he just had with you, so he knows how to navigate these sorts of things. He's very mature about it and respects your no more sex rule. In fact, he's going to keep track of how many days you go with no sex before you inevitably forgo this rule for sloppy, heartfelt makeup sex with him, which he'll gladly indulge in.

Silver - it's probably impossible to argue with Silver. He's just so sweet. How could you ever get into any sort of argument with him? But if you did find yourself at a disagreement, he'd do whatever he could to resolve it and make you feel better. If no more sex is what makes you happy, then there will be no more sex.

Sebek - "SO BE IT, HUMAN. I DO NOT REQUIRE YOUR TOUCH OR INTIMACY TO SURVIVE, NOR DO I WANT IT." He's so LOUD. The entire hall ends up learning more than they'd ever want to about your and Sebek's argument. ;;;; he rants about you and your audacity to Silver (who's half-asleep), and so it's obvious he's affected. Sebek refuses to apologize because he's stubborn, but he realizes he misses you quite a lot. :( no one point that out, though, or else he'll yell at them that that's not true whatsoever!!!!

[brucewaynehater101]

Apologies if I'm remembering wrong but I recall you posting/reblogging a post of Tim being afraid for Damian after he became Robin, thinking Red Hood would redirect his ire to him

Let's expand on that, Damian finding out about all the horrible shit Tim went through and put himself through and beginning to dread being Robin more and more but not wanting to take it back because he doesn't want to add onto Tim's pain

((and also because giving up robin would make him look week, but that's just an excuse))

So Damian is wrecked with anxiety because when is the hammer gonna drop and he'll receive what Tim did?

And if Tim's inheritance is going to be his, that means inheriting all the labor he is endures when running Wayne Enterprises, and etc

And Damian—wrong as he is—thinking himself selfish for hoping Tim stays in the family just so the day he inherits his duties comes later

Damian bonding with Tim over pain the latter experienced and the former is certain he will as well

((and also imagine what will go through Damian's head if he were to find out Tim doesn't even consider himself an actual Wayne member and just a Placeholder to keep the family from crumbling to pieces like that other post, a Placeholder until Jason and Damian came))

((and suddenly his assassination attempts seem like all for nothing and even self-sabotage, woof))

Hello! It seems that there are two of my posts you're referring to here (which is super super cool). This is going to be a long post cause it inspired me to really look at their dynamic and explore it.

One post talks about how Tim became Red Robin and didn't choose another mantle. There's a few reasons for this (like not being able to step down from his role of helping Bruce), but the reason you're referring to is another theory of mine. Tim may be Red Robin to share the burden and pain being Robin entails. He doesn't want Damian to face it alone. By being Red Robin, he can shoulder some of the ire from Batman.

The other post has Tim, who signed himself up to being Jason's placeholder both in an out of the mask, seeing himself as worthless and temporary. Both of his roles, being Jason and being Robin, got filled by Jason and Damian later.

Now that we've got the background, I absolutely love your take on this. I will add a few fics that expand on this view, but I do want to talk about it more first.

Unfortunately, Damian is used to a lot of abuse before coming to live with the Waynes (I love good mom Talia, but training to be an assassin is still abuse. She could have good reasons, but it still hurt Damian). He probably felt that he needed to earn his place and fulfill his familial role as Robin. Even as he matures and heals a bit, he may be reluctant to let Robin go. That type of training and enforced dedication to family is not simple to let go (even from a purely emotional abuse standpoint without any of the physical abuse he likely endured [This can be another thing he shares with Tim and his reluctantance to let Red Robin go]).

Kids, like Damian, will see others in similar situations and try to avoid their fate.

What is more likely? Tim is just special in being a target of isolation and abuse, or that Damian could one day be treated the same?

There's a ton of interesting theories about roles within abusive families (my family was emotionally abusive fyi). The sad part is that some of the kids will follow the example of their parents and abuse their siblings. This is both because parents model behavior and as a survival technique to not become the scapegoat like that one sibling. Damian may have joined in on being verbally abusive for both of these reasons (as well as being an extremely traumatized kid lashing out).

As he grows older and gains perspective (as well as distance from his LoA days), he may reflect on his behavior and the treatment of Tim. Tim is also the closest in age to Damian. He might be around physically more than the other siblings (besides Duke). Perhaps Duke even points out the differential treatment. There's a lot of ways that the metaphorical ball could get rolling.

This could be where Damian starts to regret his actions toward Tim. It may start from a selfish place (which, survival is not selfish and being selfish isn't always bad) of Damian realizing the assassination attempts are self-sabotage (and I love this idea and reflection on Damian). This would then morph into a genuine relationship and reliance on Tim.

I imagine, with these circumstances, that Tim becomes an anchor and safe point for Damian. All of the siblings have varying effects on the others, but this would be separate from that. While Dick is Damian's harbor, Tim would be closer to a lighthouse protecting Damian from the rocky shoreline. Dick is a place to rest and heal. Tim is a warning and guide (feel free to reblog with how the other batkids would be with Damian or each other).

Continually, Damian wanting Tim to stick around the family for his own safety hurts like hell. This casts the older sibling guilt (of leaving your siblings behind in that damn house) in a younger sibling's shame. Depending on the age, the younger sibling might be angry the older left or ashamed they want to ask in the first place. As a middle child, that fucking hurts (my situation is a bit more nuanced than that, but fuck. Ow).

Anyways, tons of angst to explore there on both of their parts.

I sincerely hope that Damian gets a life outside of WE. I hope he at least has time to explore himself (and maybe get a different career) before ever taking up WE. Depending on Tim's role in WE, this may fuck him over. I would be down to read some fics that explore Tim struggling under WE (cause he was meant for the research labs and not meeting rooms) and his refusal to step down due to the pressure that would put on Damian's shoulders (I know Tim isn't actually CEO in canon, but it's good to explore how the expectation of taking up the family business affects sibling dynamics).

Fic rec time! All are on AO3

"Exit Strategy" by smilebackwards (Tim's plan to leave the Waynes creates the ability for Damian and Tim to bond [not that Damian knows this is the plan]. Hurt ensues).

"Taming a Baby Assassin" by nighttmr (Tim, after being notified that he's getting a younger sibling with Damian, decides he'll be a big brother regardless of the effort required).

"Some Common Ground" by Do_wa_diddy (Both Damian and Tim are used to cruel standards of training. The others do not understand this and try to limit how they train. This causes Tim and Damian to bond).

"Just Like the Movies" by faithms (Damian finds a flash drive of all the times Bruce has been horrible to Tim).

"The Study of Birds" by MaskoftheRay (Tim and Damian find a common interest in bird watching. It shows them slowly becoming closer despite the obstacles).

Last one:

"You'll Change Your Name or Change Your Mind (previous title: Tim Drake Learns to Set Boundaries)" series by samsamiam.

I wholeheartedly recommend this series. Basically, Tim sets boundaries for himself while offering Damian sanctuary (should the kid need). It becomes Tim protecting Damian even from Bruce. Very very very good.

[luvangelbreak]

you should do a dad matt one !! 💘

First time

matthew sturniolo x layla sturniolo (female!oc) summary: matt and layla have been married for 2 years and their daughter's first day at school is harder than expected. warnings: purely fluff word count: 2k a/n: tysm for this request!! i am yet to write pure fluff so I'm very excited abt this <3

not proofread!

From the moment Matt found out Layla was pregnant, he was overjoyed with the blessing of having a child. When he found out they were having a girl, it made him only love her more. Since the day she was born, he has been nothing short of an amazing father. He gave her everything she wanted, no matter the price or time. Layla had become the bad cop, quickly realising her husband would fold at the slight pout of their daughter, let alone a cry emitting from her mouth.

Holly was a daddy's girl through and through and Matt loved everything about it. He loved it when he painted her nails a pretty purple or when she wanted to steal mommy's makeup and put it on his face messily. He flaunted his daughter everywhere he went, proud of everything she was and who she would become well before she even started having a personality.

When the first day of school rolled around, Matt was an emotional wreck and so was Holly, Layla having to keep the house together as well as everyone's emotions.

"Babe, can you please do her hair? We need to leave in 25 minutes and I'm making her lunch!" Layla called from the kitchen as Matt slid Holly's white dress over her small shoulders.

"Let me finish getting her dressed!" he called back, his daughter giggling to herself making him look down at her, "What are you laughing at missy?"

"Nothin'" Holly mumbled as she held her hands over her mouth while she giggled, a habit she picked up from her mother. Matt shook his head, spinning her around as he knelt down on one knee to do the button up on the back of her dress.

"Alright Hol," he said standing up and walking to her drawers, pulling out two pairs of socks and holding them up, "White socks and pink shoes or pink socks and white shoes?"

"Hmmm," his daughter hummed, tapping her tiny finger on her chin dramatically, "Pink shoes!"

"White socks and pink shoes coming right!" he announced making her giggle once again as he threw the light pink socks back in her drawers before closing it. He picked up her little bright pink pick flats before walking back over to her, kneeling back down on the floor.

Holly placed her hand on his shoulder, steadying herself as she lifted her left foot up so Matt could slide the sock onto her foot. In a swift motion, he slid the sock on and then the shoe before tapping the top of her other foot. She repeated her actions of holding onto her dad's shoulders as he slid the other sock and shoe on before he tapped the tops of both of her feet. That was her cue to jump up and down to test if her feet felt good in the shoes and when she nodded, Matt nodded back.

He picked her up, despite being much bigger now and a lot more fidgety. He walked to the bathroom, sitting her down on the bench as she crossed her legs and look at him in the mirror.

"How do you want your hair, bunny?" the nickname sticking since she was 2 and loved to hop around like a bunny, still continuing to do so to this day 3 years later.

"Up!" she grinned and he nodded in approval, grabbing the small gentle brush used for her hair only. He quickly sprayed her hair with the detangling mist his wife bought since she had her mother's curls that tangled easily. After some struggling and sounds of disapproval from Holly, he managed to get all of the knots out of her hair.

"You want it all the way up or half?" he asked her, grabbing one of the many small hair ties laying on the bench.

"Half," his daughter stated and he hummed in agreement, pushing half of her hair upwards. She had the same colour hair as Matt and also thickness which was an unfortunate combination with Layla's curls. He managed to separate her hair into two halves, tying the top half up as gently as he could. He pulled the small ponytail lighter before opening one of the drawers under the bathroom sink.

"You want a bow?" he asked and he nodded rapidly making him smile as he pulled out the white bow. He clipped it into her ponytail, making sure it was secure before he looked at her in the mirror, "You look very pretty, bunny."

"So do you, Daddy," she smiled at him making his heart swell, placing a kiss on top of her head.

"Thank you, baby," he lifted her up from the bench, placing her feet on the ground before tapping her back, "Let's go see if mommy is ready."

She skipped down the hallway to the kitchen where Layla was finishing packing up their daughters lunch box.

"Well, don't you look cute!" Layla smiled at her daughter who ran up to her, hugging her side as she placed her lunchbox and water bottle in her daughter's blue backpack, "Do you wanna go put your backpack in the car, baby? We'll be in the car in a second."

"Okay!" Holly cheered happily, her infectious joy rubbing off on anyone around her but mostly her parents. Layla handed her the backpack, sliding it onto her back and Holly jogged down the hallway to the garage door, swinging it open.

"You okay, my love?" Layla asked Matt as she grabbed her handbag, making sure she had everything she needed for Matt to drop her off at work after they dropped Holly at school.

"I can't believe she's going to school already," Matt answered, a sad smile on his lips as Layla tilted her head, giving him a sweet smile that always calmed him, "She's just growing up so fast."

"So are we," she pointed out, walking over to him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "It's our 8-year anniversary this year."

"I still can't believe it took us 3 years to start dating," he shook his head, placing a quick peck on his wife's lips before he heard a fake gagging behind him.

They pulled apart to see their daughter frowning at them dramatically, "Ew."

"I thought I said we'll see you at the car, bunny," Layla raised her eyebrows and Holly's eyes widened before running back into the garage making Matt chuckle at her, "She got her bad attitude from you."

+++

It took 15 minutes to drive to Holly's new school and Matt pulled up, letting out a heavy breath as he hopped out of the car. He rounded the car, opening the back door and Holly practically leapt out of the car.

"Bunny, don't forget your backpack!" he called as she ran to her mom who was standing in front of the car. He shook his head, picking up her backpack from the floor before closing the door and locking the car. He approached his wife and daughter, his emotions getting the best of him as he looked down at their little girl.

"Holly, you gotta carry your backpack. Me and Daddy can't come into the classroom with you," Layla said as she smoothed out her daughter's hair.

"You're not coming with me?" Holly frowned at her parents, her mood suddenly shifting and Layla could already tell she would have to handle this since Matt would just want to take her home and homeschool her.

"No baby," Layla squatted down to be at eye level with her daughter, "Remember when we were looking around the school? The teacher said you will make lots of friends and you get to play lots of fun games."

"But you and daddy came to the class," her daughter stuck out her bottom lip, her eyes watering slightly.

"I know but remember how we said that on your first day, we would have to wait outside for you? This is where you get to be a big girl," Layla explained as she tucked Holly's dark brown hair behind her ear. Matt stood there feeling hopeless, looking down at his daughters saddened face and feeling his heartbreak a little bit.

"Holly," he called his daughter and she looked up at her dad with a big pout. He squatted down beside his wife as he held the little girl's small hand in his, "We will walk you to the classroom but once the teacher says to go inside, we have to wait for you out here. We'll be right here when your done but I promise you will have so much fun, okay?"

"You'll be here when I finish?" she asked, her voice wavering and Matt nodded.

"Of course, baby," Matt held his ground, knowing that the little devil on his shoulder telling him to just take her back home wouldn't help either of them.

"You promise?" she asked, holding her little pinky out and Mat locked the tip of his own pinky with hers before kissing his thumb, something he did every time he made a promise to her.

"I promise, bunny," he smiled at her, smothering his own sadness and his daughter sighed, hanging her head before nodding.

"Okay," she said sadly and both her parents stood up. She immediately grabbed both their hands as they started walking into the school and towards her classroom.

Once they arrived, the teacher was standing by the open door and greeted the three of them with a smile.

"Hi Holly!," the young teacher beamed and Matt immediately felt better now that he had met her teacher. He hadn't had the opportunity to meet her teacher yet since he was working the day Layla and Holly visited the school.

"Lovely to see you again," the teacher smiled at Layla and Layla kindly smiled back.

"This is my husband, Matt. Matt this is Ellie," Layla introduced the two and they both said their greetings as Holly hid behind her dad's leg.

"Are you ready to come inside, Holly?" Ellie asked the little girl who seemed very nervous, another habit she picked up from her father.

"She's a little worried about going inside without us," Layla explained and Ellie nodded, squatting down to meet Holly's eye level.

"Holly, do you like painting?" Ellie asked with a soft smile and Holly nodded shyly, "Well I have set up some painting inside for you and everyone in our class to do. Does that sound fun?"

"Yeah," Holly mumbled, pulling away from her dad nervously.

"We have a lot of colours for you to paint with. We can make something for you to give to Mommy and Daddy when you finish today!" Ellie encouraged Holly further and Holly seemed a little less nervous making Matt feel at ease.

"Baby," Matt said looking down at his daughter who was still by his side and she looked up at him, "Why don't you go inside with Ellie and paint a butterfly for Mommy?"

"Okay," Holly fiddled with her fingers, not moving from beside her parents yet.

"You want a hug?" he smiled down at her and she nodded. Matt, of course, immediately picked her up and pulled her into a tight hug. She hugged him back to the best of her ability before she leaned back.

"Have fun, bunny," Layla leaned over, giving Holly a kiss on the cheek making her giggle before Matt followed his wife's actions, placing a kiss on Holly's other cheek before placing her on the ground.

"We'll see you when you're done!" he smiled down at her as Holly grabbed Ellie's hand, waving to her parents as they walked inside the classroom.

Matt let out a heavy breath and Layla grabbed his hand, dragging him away from the classroom and back to the car. They paused in front of the car as Layla wrapped her arms around Matt's shoulders again.

"I'm proud of you," she whispered, placing a small kiss on his lips and he smiled at her, "You did a lot better than I expected."

"I feel worse than I expected," he raised his eyebrows and Layla shook her head. She placed another kiss on his lips before pulling away from him.

"Come on tough guy. I gotta get to work. You can have a meltdown in the car," she jumped in the car once Matt had unlocked it and they drove down the street, proud of their little girl for going to her first day at school.

[khruschevshoe]

Jim and Oluwande got the worst end of the deal. I'd even say they regressed as both characters and partners and anything they had built up in s1 was almost completely stripped away from them. The way they're portrayed together and apart in s2 is not only unlike the characters we saw in s1, but their rich storyline was reduced to extreme side characters used only as plot devices in a way they absolutely did not have to be used. I LOVED them in s1, and I was so disappointed by what s2 did to them and their potential growth, which I think applies to pretty much everything in s2, not only them.

Mind if I piggyback of this ask to go into all my critiques of the handling of Jim/Olu in Season 2? Thanks!

OFMD Critique: Tealoranges, Dropped Storylines, and Wasted Potential

God, the issues I have with the writing of Season 2 extend in so many directions. Jim's character, I felt, was well-handled for at least the first two episodes but then slowly starts skewing wrong as early as episode 3 (I am still chewing glass over the way their reunion scene with Oluwande was written- or, rather, NOT written). Episode 4 was good, but everything after that? Someone said that Jim in the back half of the season feels more like Vico than Jim, and though I do love and appreciate Vico, it's completely true. Jim doesn't feel like the same character we've come to know, whether from Season 1 or even what is set up in early season 2.

And yet, I STILL feel like they're written better than Olu, if you can believe it? So, I haven't talked about this much, but I feel like Olu is done dirty from almost the moment he is introduced in Season 2. At least Jim (through editing alone, but hey, we'll give the show the smallest benefit of the doubt) gets an acknowledgement that they miss Olu during that flashback sequences while they talk to Archie- Olu doesn't even get that. I read about a deleted scene that would have had Pete and Olu desperate to reunite with Lucius and Jim in episode 1 and I feel like that was DESPERATELY needed to make the Season 1 finale -> Season 2 jump make any sort of sense. I like Zheng, but for the love of God, her romance with Olu (which I had my own issues with for the disservice it does both their characters) is not worth destroying the tealoranges build up from Season 1. Just cut something from the first episode or one of the Zheng/Olu scenes from the second episode to make it make sense.

Then, moving onto later in the season- I've posted about how Olu and Jim deserved the grand, epic reunion otherwise 1x10 and everything set up with them in Season 1 doesn't make sense. Could the writers of the show have possibly redistributed some of the glorious cinematography from Ed and Stede over to Jim and Olu? All I need is one shot of their reunion (a proper, emotional one, not played for laughs or friendship or whatever) framed by the sun to parallel Ed and Stede's being framed by the moon and I would have been happy on that front.

And then later in the season...I was down for the poly elements if they could have been executed better. Fanfics have shown that the Archie plot could have been executed well. But the fact that Zheng is straight up NOT MENTIONED until 2x7 by Olu? And then Jim says that he's been pining for her the whole time? I'm sorry, but it doesn't compute. Show, don't tell. There's a reason why I'm down for Jim/Archie/Olu (if executed well), but can't see Zheng/Olu at all.

But of course, 2x7 comes along and we get the "family who fucked" line. And the implication that Olu could have ever left the Revenge without Jim, when in Season 1 he became a wreck because Jim left for A FEW DAYS, much less was FORCEFULLY SEPARATED from him for MONTHS. Then in the finale, at the lupete wedding, they were separated out, him with Zheng and them with Archie, and, well, at that point...I was tired. I'm not gonna lie. Because this wasn't questionable or problematic writing, it just fundamentally DIDN'T MAKE SENSE.

And this is just on a romantic relationship POV. I hated seeing Olu lose his leadership arc from Season 1 and his loyalty to Jim and his nuanced emotional level-headedness/sense of logic. Season 1 really felt like it was slowly building up the idea that the ideal Captain was neither Stede nor Blackbeard but someone a bit more rational, a bit more grounded, a bit more communicative with his crew- someone like Olu. And he gets shoved into the back in Season 2 and reduced to the guy who can't sort scrolls or know that the BOATS ON A MAP MATTER. He gets no influence on plot or major decisions when he was often the voice of reason in Season 1 (we all remember Lucius being a romantic voice of reason in Season 1, but rarely remember that Olu was a major supporting deciding factor in a number of decisions made on the Revenge).

And as for Jim, I wanted more exploration or even just acknowledgement of their trauma post episode-4. I wanted an actual organic continuation of their character arc post-vengeance quest and post-Blackbeard, not just them getting defined by "funny knife thrower with a girlfriend and an ex-boyfriend who they want to get with his crush." They were so much more than that, and it killed me to see the two people who were basically main character 3 and 4 in Season 1 get shoved aside for unneeded subplots about Ricky and Zheng or Gentlebeard's three separate breakups when Jim and Olu's plotline had so much more potential than any of that. They weren't just star-crossed lovers- they were a slow burn ship built of absolutely interesting, complicated, and well-developed characters who brought out the best in each other with a DEVASTATING midpoint to their arc and it honestly would have made a better season not just for them as characters, but for the show overall if someone had just realized that the parallels between a couple that fights and claws to stay together no matter what (tealoranges) and a main ship that was still figuring itself out (Gentlebeard) would have SLAPPED.

(I am now picturing a version of this season where instead of the Izzy fakeout death/Gentlebeard reunion in the beginning of the first episode, we get an Olu/Jim reunion in episode 3 to parallel whatever reunion the writers wanted to slap together for Stede/Ed. I would have actively cried over the Olu/Jim reunion and it would have drastically improved the season.)

[animatorweirdo]

Imagine rescuing Finrod with your dragon

Link for the First headcanon

Requested by Anon

Hi Animator Weirdo! Might I request a one shot/mini fic where Ann (Ancalagon) and reader go and save Finrod and Beren, trash Sauron’s place and maybe even steal a silmaril later on? Thank you! And congratulations on the 500 followers! 🎉🥳

( I only recently realized you wanted a one shot kind of fic. I'm sorry. I ended up making a mixed headcanon/one shot, so I hope you still like it)

Warnings: mentions of Celegorm and Curufin being a pair of bricks, mentions of loneliness, fear, manipulation, imprisonment, burning orcs, and werewolves, saving Finrod, Ann having too much fun wrecking Sauron's place, and a lighthearted ending.

----------------------------------

- If you had known how things would have turned out for Finrod, when he left with Beren to claim a silmaril from Morgoth's crown, you would have tried harder to convince him to take you and Ann with him. 

- Ever since he rescued you from the river and allowed your dragon friend to live in Nargothrond despite the differences— you were not willing to lose him to anything, including his oath. He was too important and dear to you for you to lose him to death. 

- He first refused your offer to join him when Beren arrived in Nargothrond to seek his aid and when the two sons of Feanor, Celegorm, and Curufin, threatened his people to become unwilling to join him with only a handful of people ready to aid him on this journey. 

- He feared for your safety, and despite the advantages your dragon friend could provide him, he wanted you both to remain in Nargothrond, away from the enemy’s hands. 

- Your heart swelled for his consideration for your dragon's safety, even if it took months for his people to get accustomed and accept one of Morgoth's creations living among them. However, it only made you more determined to see him return safely, but despite your reasonings and fears, Finrod convinced you to stay. 

- He left Nargothrond under Orodreth Care and you with false hopes that things might turn out alright in the end. 

- You missed him terribly, and things began to change rapidly when he was no longer governing Nargothrond. The Feanorian princes saw an opportunity to take charge and appeal as more eligible leaders to Finrod's people, trying to overshadow Orodreth. And to your concern, Finrod’s people seem to take on their side each day despite Orodreth's rightful kingship. 

- Luckily, some didn't and remained strictly on Orodreth's side. Most being those who still held grudges toward the brothers for something they had done in the past. 

- You have never been fond of the brothers. They were arrogant and looked down upon you and Finrod for having a relationship because you were a human. They had even jabbed at you for your past, calling you Morgoth’s thrall, and even tried to make you look like a spy when you ventured to Angband to free Ann and returned on his back to Nargothrond. 

- That stunt might have made you look like one, but you have never been one of Morgoth's thralls. 

- They always played with people's fears, and perhaps since you had a dragon on your side, most of Finrod's people remained on Orodreth's side. It was not something you hoped for, but it seemed to help preventing the Feanorians from taking full control of Nargothrond and possibly overthrowing Orodreth. 

- It was a stressful situation, and you couldn't seek much comfort from anyone except Orodreth and Ann, who had taken a liking to residing in one of Nargothrond's caves and guarding its treasures. He made an excellent treasure guard. 

- Despite Ann's size and indifference toward emotional affairs, he knew how to make you feel safe and calmly talked about events that helped you feel better. He even allowed you to rest against his warm scales. It was an old habit whenever you wanted a moment of peace and quiet, even though lying on hoards of gold was not very comfortable. 

- When days passed, your anxiety for Finrod's well-being only grew, especially when one of the Feanorians had begun trying to sweet talk to you. You never thought you would find someone's voice so agitating, and you hated acting polite and well-mannered with the Feanorian but knew you would end up in trouble if you didn't. 

- Then, the day arrived when the Feanorians brought an elven princess from Doriath. 

- There was something suspicious about it because the Feanorians should have brought her to meet with Orodreth as a matter of courtesy. However, when she suddenly seemed to vanish, and no new information was heard about her, you decided to investigate.

- You first tried getting it out from the Feanorians, and they claimed she was just a guest and wasn't available at the moment. She was resting or something. 

- You were familiar with their patterns of lying, and then you found out in secret that the princess was, in fact, Luthien, the elven princess Beren has fallen in love with. The Feanorian brothers were keeping her as a prisoner and planned to marry her off to one of them despite the laws and the very nature of the elves. You found that utterly disgusting, and they once claimed humans were the only ones who could do such things. 

- You knew how much Thingol hated the Noldor and how possibly a civil war could be born if he found out his only daughter was married against her will, so you decided to act quickly since her appearance also meant something was wrong with Beren and Finrod. 

- You convinced Orodreth to assist you in retaining the two while you released Luthien from the room they had locked her in. Orodreth may have been easy to persuade, but his fear of Thingol's wrath outweighed any influence the Feanorians could exert, so he was firmly on your side.

- Luthien was incredibly grateful to you and explained how she saw visions of Beren and Finrod suffering in Sauron's isle of werewolves, where they had been captured and tortured with a ravenous wolf hiding in the shadows. 

- Having a valid reason to leave, you allowed Luthien to go first upon Huan as the hound was against his master's treacherous actions and handled the Feanorians first before departing. 

- Due to their vicious plan, they quickly fell out of favor with Finrod's and their people. You received Orodreth's assurance that they would be dealt with accordingly, and given the severity of their actions, they will most likely face banishment.

- After all that, you and Ann were good to leave. Finrod needed you more than anything. 

- One perk of having a flying dragon is that you can get to places much faster than any horse or dog. You didn't waste time planning Finrod's rescue when you finally reached Tol-in-Gaurhoth, the isle of the werewolves. You did hope you were not too late to save your beloved from the fangs of death. 

—-

The orcs and werewolves of Toul-In-Gauroth were unprepared for the attack. They were taken by surprise when a fierce wind swept through like a violent hurricane, tearing their master's banners from their places and drowning out all other sounds with what seemed like thunder.

The orcs in the towers had no time to sound the alarms as they witnessed a shadow descending from the sky, its wings enveloping Tol-In-Gauroth.

Only one managed to cry out and alert the others of the approaching beast. "Attack!" the orc screamed as fire engulfed the tower.

The black dragon unleashed a torrent of flames upon the towers and walls. The wretched orcs and werewolves wailed in agony as the dragon's fiery breath consumed them. Their screams of pain reached the fortress's lord, sounding the alarm.

Ann glided around the fortress as smoke pillars billowed from within its walls and the remnants of crushed towers. He landed gracefully on one of the remaining intact towers, gripping it tightly with his claws. With his immense strength, he began tearing through the stone and steel.

The orcs tried defending their fortress, shooting arrows at the dragon, which only bounced away after hitting his armored scales. Ann swiped his tail against the orcs, swatting them away like flies. 

Ann then ignored the screaming of orcs and the howling of the wolves, who ran away from the sight of him and began sniffing the air, trying to find a certain scent. When he found the scent emanating from the lower parts of the fortress, he crushed the walls and the ceilings through his closed fist, allowing you to slip in through his fingers where you had hidden before the attack. 

You looked around while Ann pulled his fist away and continued tearing the fortress apart, keeping the attention of Sauron and the defenders upon himself.

After ensuring the coast was clear, you ventured into the dungeon, intending to find and free your beloved and his foolish company. 

Finrod, Beren, and the rest of their companions were taken by surprise when the stone walls of their cell began to shake, releasing dust and pebbles from the force. The wolf that had preyed upon them from the shadows had left, and a roar was heard from the outside of the dungeon. Finrod's eyes widened as he recognized the roar. 

They then heard the door to their cell open, and Finrod saw you walking in with a set of keys and your axe in your hands. 

"(Name)? What are you doing here?!" Finrod demanded in shock as you began opening their chains. 

"Rescuing you!" you replied as you hit their shackles and chains open with your axe when the keys failed. 

"From now on, you will not tell me to stay behind, especially when you end up captured by the enemy and when I have a bloody dragon who is more than willing to wreck his former master's place to free you," you stated as you helped him and Beren up. 

"Come on. We need to leave fast before Sauron notices something," you said as you led him, Beren, and the rest of their company out of the fortress. 

Ann ripped the fortress apart, crumbling the stone with his weight and setting fire to the rest of Sauron's werewolves. 

A shadow rose from the fallen ruin, standing before the great dragon. 

"Ancalagon!" Sauron yelled in fury. "Is this how you betray your masters, you traitor?!" he demanded as the dragon looked down upon him with a golden glare. "You fool!" Ann said in a grumbling voice. "I was never yours to begin with!" his eyes blazed brighter with golden fire. 

Ann's chest began to glow. Sauron backed away when Ann opened his jaws and then released a barrage of fire upon the Maia. 

Sauron changed forms and narrowly escaped in the form of a vampire. He cursed the dragon as there was nothing he could do to save his fortress and forces and flew toward the north. 

You watched as Ann continued wrecking the fortress before turning your attention to Finrod and his company. Luthien had arrived later, riding upon Huan and reuniting with her beloved Beren. Finrod’s companions took the chance to enjoy the light and fresh air after being trapped in Sauron’s dungeon for so long. You began tending to Finrod’s injuries. 

“Ann seems to have fun wrecking the fortress,” you stated as you wrapped his injured hands and legs in the bandages you had brought along. “I hope you don’t mind that,” you said, and Finrod dryly chuckled at your sentence. 

“No…” he uttered. “At least, he ensures Tol Sirion can never be used by the enemy again. And it kinda of looks better. Sauron had a terrible taste in the design and the interior,” he explained, making you snort. “I guess it does look better,” you commented after you finished wrapping and offered him water. 

Finrod grabbed the waterskin from your hands and stared at it with a look on his face before glancing at Beren and his other companions. “Don’t worry. I brought extra,” you showed the other waterskin you had taken with you. “I came in a rush, but I planned ahead what you might need after rescuing you,” you stated. Finrod chuckled. “You always come prepared,” he noted. “Well… after doing a few trips away from Angand and doing a trip there once. You learn a thing or two when it comes to preparing, and trust me– you do not want to taste the water in Morgoth’s lands,” you said.  

“I trust you,” Finrod said, his voice filled with gratitude as he took a long, satisfying drink from the waterskin. It was evident that he had been deprived of fresh water for quite some time, and the relief was palpable on his face. After quenching his trish, he turned his gaze toward you. 

“Thank you, my love. Many more of us would have perished if you hadn't come,” he stated. 

You nodded with a hint of determination in your eyes. “It seems sometimes it's okay not to listen, especially when you have a good reason not to,” you said. “And I was already on the verge of going stir-crazy with Celegorm in the same house,” you added, prompting a snort of laughter from Finrod.

“I’m serious!” you exclaimed, your voice laced with playful frustration. “Don’t leave me ever again in the same place as that blondie. I was this close to fulfilling the urge to let Ann eat him alive,” you said, pinching your fingers together for emphasis. 

Finrod chuckled, his laughter filling the atmosphere. “Understood, my dear,” he said with a grin, and the two of you shared a hearty laugh, finding solace and humor amid the adversity. 

"I don't care what you say. I'm coming with you. I already stole from Morgoth once. I might as well do it again," you said sternly. "I do not think I can convince you otherwise even if I tried," Finrod said. "Good," you said, then chuckled and enjoyed the moment together as Ann returned to you, having reduced once Tol Sirion into nothing but rubble.

[happy-mokka]

Hi there.

I'd like to start with a warning first: Beware!

I'm rather new to tumblr, so if what will come next turns out to be total bs, I hope you all get out of this unscathed, forget we ever crossed paths and will be able to go on with your beautiful lives.

If you're still here, you'll about to hear the nice and accurate story of a guy that stumbled naively into a Good Omens binge watching weekend and came out forever changed.

Roughly 4 weeks ago I was asking friends what they were watching currently. I needed new material to turn to.

That's when it happened.

One of them casually brought up Good Omens on Prime. I should give it a try. Angels, demons. Terry Pratchett. Neil Gaiman.

Ok. I like fantasy. I like good story telling. I have an odd sense of bad humour.

I decided to give it a try.

To my eternal shame I have to confess, that until lately I hadn't read a single line written by both Pratchett and Gaiman.

I've read thousands of books. My love for them is so widely spread over all genres, that it simply did never happen. There was always some other book and author that came next.

Oh, how blind and ignorant I have been. I now clearly see the grave error of my ways.

If you can't forgive me, that's ok. I'm having a hard time myself doing so.

Be that as it may, I'm currently reading Good Omens and won't stop there. I promise.

Update notice 2024-04-23 I am now 5 books into Neil Gaimans works, currently reading this...

So, where was I? Right. Binge watch session of Good Omens season 1. Saturday evening. Around 9:30pm.

Episode 1 wasn't even running for 5 minutes and I was already sucked right into it.

Frances McDormand's God intro and the garden eden scenes. I was instantly in love.

Michael Sheen had already been one of my favorites. His first minutes as Aziraphale directly hit home.

David Tennant was familiar but I also hadn't been into Doctor Who, so it took another 5 minutes to also fall for Crowley...

The path was set and I started to deep dive in.

6 hours, 6 episodes, 1 Antichrist and 1 almost Armageddon later I crawled into bed on early Sunday morning to get at least a few hours of sleep. I fell asleep with an almost idiotic grin on my face and a feeling of deep content.

Only 5 hours later, technically still Sunday morning, I woke up, prepared a coffee infusion and switched the TV back on.

There were important deeds to be done. Episodes to be watched. I could sleep later.

Narrator: No, he would NOT sleep later...

I again immediately fell for the 2 celestials.

The slightly different arc, no dramatic catastrophe on the horizon, instead beautifully written side characters and wonderful new details on the two main protagonists...an evolving love story that had already been clearly visible in season 1...

And god, or Satan, HOW I LOVED JON HAMM as Jimbriel...

I again ended up binge watching the whole season, only interrupted by a few coffee and bathroom breaks.

6 hours later. The end credits were already over for like an eternity and I hadn't moved. Just sitting there, all goosebumps and teared-up.

I ate something. Had to. Don't really remember tasting anything or remembering what I actually had.

I was dumbstruck.

The friend that had suggested to start watching GOs, hadn't let out much more detail, so I hadn't been prepared in the least, for the emotional train wrecked state it had pushed me into.

Hours later I finally fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning before work I just sent Tori Amos' Nightingale in Berkeley Park to my GOs friend followed by a ❤️, as a signal that I had watched it all and let her know that there was no need anymore to hold back with talking out of fear to spoiler me.

We had lunch together and spent the whole time rambling on our GOs induced emergency emotional state and the whole beauty of especially Gaiman's season 2.

The next days we kept randomly talking about GO before she pinpointed me to tumblr, in case I wanted to dare a real deep dive into GO fandom.

So here I am now. A week's passed. I've spent hours of reading so many amazing posts around here. So many eye-opening moments.

I'm not only speaking of all those perfect interpretations of GO and it's characters.

What impressed me so much more is the fabulous energy especially radiating from the queer community.

Update notice - 2024/04/10

Attention! This installation of base module "Sexuality" is currently being updated to a more flexible one...work in progress...

Not being queer, only having a few queer friends, I hadn't really realized, just how big a thing GO in general and season 2 in particular was for you.

I was raised to walk earth open-minded, to respect everyone, no matter of religion, gender, nationality and sexual orientation. This is so deep a part of my DNA and personality, that GO for me was mostly just a beautiful story about religion, the meaning of life and love.

2 immortals fall deeply in love, first into humanity, life on earth and then finally into one another, while trying to overcome all the madness of belonging to two opposing sides of the same medal.

A great parable on the pursuit of happiness. Skillfully written for the screen and perfectly casted and played.

Well that was then.

Now I see you and I have to thank you, for opening my mind even further.

For giving so much joy so generously, although every day is still a fight for your rights.

For giving me a space here among you and the chance to delve some more in beautiful minds and fanfiction.

So, if you're still here and reading this, maybe it was not all bs. Maybe it gave you some minutes of entertainment and distraction from every day's stress and problems.

It sure was for me.

I'll end this with some favorite Shakespeare quotes, although now I'm not so sure any more, if not some red haired demon might have actually written this...

"If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber’d here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend: if you pardon, we will mend: And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck Now to ‘scape the serpent’s tongue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a liar call; So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends."

[purikkura]

collision report — s.hanbin

❪ ★彡 SYNOPSIS. ❫ ──── you've witnessed your best friend cause one too many train accidents, but never did you ever expect your heart would be caught in one.

❪ ★彡 PAIRING. ❫ ──── sung hanbin x gn!reader

❪ ★彡 WORD COUNT. ❫ ──── 2019 words

❪ ★彡 GENRE/TROPES. ❫ ──── angst... really bad angst, high school au (was tempted to set it at university, but didn't know how fitting that was <;/3), best friends

❪ ★彡 WARNINGS. ❫ ──── allusions to & mentions of death; reader's hella paranoid and delulu; hanbin's lowkey a red flag, but we choose to look past that

❪ ★彡 NOTES. ❫ ──── first fic... y'all, this took ages. i'm 98% sure there's no way i'll be able to pump out requests at a fast rate as most, but i'll try to get to that point. eventually. this was loosely inspired by doushite mo kimi ga suki da by akb48, hence why i brought up trains so often. get my sisters to 1 million on spotify, they're so close!! alternatively titled as 'heartbreak prince!'

You told him you’d be gone for no more than 5 minutes.

And usually, when you tell Hanbin things, such promises become your top priority—for no reason in particular other than that he was Sung Hanbin. Everyone liked Sung Hanbin, whether they’d admit to it or not.

Perhaps you stood ahead in line than others—reap the benefits of the title as his best friend, why not—but that position was distressing as it was rewarding considering all the train wrecks you had to witness practically firsthand. Cringing upon the first whiff of smoke in the form of heartbreak, you could only feel bad for that week’s victim who had fallen ill to Hanbin’s charms, who shoveled their nerves and confessed to him, sooted hands waiting to be taken by a pair as pure as his.

He never did. He never could; that, you knew very well based on the horrified looks he snuck over to you during the first few incidents. He’s gotten better at it, though—derailing the other person’s high-speed emotions, making it not as messy of a bloody blue ruin. As per every rejection, it ended with you two turning your backs and heading homebound together. Envy wasn’t always a green-eyed monster. It could also take on the form of a devastated high school student, eyes discerning the back of your head (rather than the obvious space between you and your friend) as though you had kicked dirt on them just then. Don’t you know better? The body’s still warm.

Homebound is where you should be right about now, but much to the shock of everyone else, you had a life outside of playing the role of “the one that always stands next to Hanbin; are they his significant other?” and, besides, you were people-pleasing elsewhere. Needing some last-minute material for an upcoming test, your teacher obliged the offer, but that meant taking time out of your day to actually confront them. You thought it would take no more than 5 minutes.

You told Hanbin that at approximately 4:37 PM.

It’s 5:23.

Perhaps on the way, you could sum up a valid excuse as to why you stayed way later than expected. Hanbin knew you were lagging behind in the class; he was the one helping you all this time, and it was more than likely that he was the one who tipped your teacher intel that you needed extra studying material in the first place. He tends to do that often. Care too much. Then again, you always tried to return the favor in other classes, no matter how bad you were, or, at the very least, attempted to buy or share your lunch. You physically had to fight to put a chip in his mouth once, which might or might not have resulted in choking, you profusely apologizing, and him simply smiling as if he didn’t almost befriend death.

It was the small things that made you love him.

Made people love him—you liked him a very normal amount.

. . .

Who are we fooling?

You were absolutely, tremendously, without a doubt, down terribly in the trenches in love with him! And it seemed everyone was well-aware, including your math teacher who not-so-subtly dropped the question only a few minutes ago, “Are you two an item yet?” Only problem was, you couldn’t tell the one person your feelings mattered most to. No, really, how could you? After every crush people have caught? After every crash he caused?

You weren’t willing to ruin what the two of you currently had. A relationship that exceeded mere acquaintances—one you always hesitated asking if it ever meant more to him. You even hesitated to ask someone else if they drew some sort of boundary with their friends when it came to physicality. It wasn’t uncommon for you and Hanbin to randomly entangle together, arms haphazardly overlapping with the other’s, however unintentional it may be. It was comfortable for the two of you, though perhaps not so much for passersby that looked at you with rage. A stark contrast between the way Hanbin looked at you with an unbelievable amount of tenderness.

. . . Regardless.

Hanbin was your best friend. 

You couldn’t leave him, and he wouldn’t leave you.

That’s what you thought before making it to the courtyard. No Hanbin in sight.

Huh. That was strange.

The thought of him leaving you…

Your shoes kicked into high gear while the sun trickled to disappear. As if a ghost of one of Hanbin’s victims possessed you, a surge of unbeknownst confidence compelled you to try. Because you were tired of standing at a railroad crossing. Because you were fascinated by train wrecks.

There was no doubt in your mind. You love Sung Hanbin.

Didn’t matter how other people felt or how anyone would look at you. You were practically first on the waiting list anyway; you should feel more than willing to announce your feelings to the world and let the wind carry your words over to him.

Thankfully, Hanbin takes extremely slow strolls, so you managed to catch up to him right when he crossed the railroad crossing. (That’s also strange. You guys rarely take this shortcut.) Unfortunately, you arrived right when the gates fell.

“Hanbin!”

All you could see was him. Him. Him. Him alone. You could already imagine how beautiful he’ll look when he turns around, unable to hear laughter blocked out by what sounded like a siren.

You called his name another time. Possibly another.

Though the last was cut off by the incoming train, bells ringing, severing the red thread that connected you two until parted by death.

You braced for impact, a grimace replacing your previous dazed expression, but all you really felt was the wind pushing you back. You think the universe saved you just now.

Then the ringing stopped. You opened your eyes, expecting him to initially chastise you for being so reckless before teasing you for saying his name like a lovesick fool. But all he did was stare at you. Sure, there resided some specs of endearment in his eyes—that would never change—but the rest of his features reminded you so much of the horror-struck looks he gave you upon every confession. All he did was stare at you.

Meanwhile, all you could do was stare at her.

You’ve seen her before. She’s pretty—long sleek hair adorned by a headband, an accessory Hanbin doted on in the past for a reason beyond your one-sided awareness.

However, it wasn’t the headband that drew your attention or made your eyes bulge out of their sockets. It was the space between them, or lack thereof when you noticed their hands glued together.

You must’ve stared long enough not to notice the gates rose, clashing with your confidence that diminished instantly right to the soles of your shoes.

You only picked your head up when he called your name, as gently as he could.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” he mirrored in the same nervousness.

Glancing between them was a difficult task not to do. “Sorry it took so long, I… had to get some help from my teacher.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he made sure to say that first, sneaking a look to the side. It was still his part, and you knew this script far better than anyone else. “I’m sorry — I forgot to introduce you.”

You didn’t catch her name. That was, without a doubt, the least interesting part of his sentence. Still, the words ‘My girlfriend’ resounded perfectly in your ears.

“Oh.” Congrats, you incorporated your first-ever adlib in your role, but please, follow the script. “Since—since when?”

“Since now, I think,” the girl finally took charge of the lines, attentive to neither yours nor Hanbin’s broken expressions, but she (at the very least) picked up on the awkward situation unfolding. “I guess I asked Hanbin out a few weeks ago? And he said yes, but we didn’t go anywhere from there until today when I… asked him to walk me home.”

“A few weeks ago?” Your breath fell short despite saying only four words. 

Hanbin didn’t necessarily have the gall, but to better his conscious, he had to deliver an answer. “It happened in the middle of a convenience store.” Translation: he didn’t think that much of it.

“And you said yes?” Your voice was quiet. For the first time, Hanbin forgot what to say. For the first time, he forgot how to redirect the train. There was only one rail, and it was headed straight for the two of you.

Out of every confession leading up to now, this was by far the worst.

“Yes.”

At some point in time, he lost his girlfriend’s hand, but she delicately laced it back with his as pure reassurance, prompting him to add: “Yeah, I mean, I’ve been crushing on her all year. I figured, why not?”

He’s been crushing on her all year? He’s never mentioned that before, has he? If so, how could you not have possibly known?

“Why not…” Your body’s breaking down, losing function. “Why didn’t…” …you tell your best friend? Why didn’t you tell me you were on the cusp of killing your own best friend? “Why don’t you walk her home this week?”

That definitely wasn’t the response Hanbin was expecting, or wanted. But the director is intrigued, seeking confirmation as to whether their actors know their characters as much as they did, persisting in the change in script.

“What?” Anyone could’ve heard how his voice dejected an octave lower.

“Yeah… yeah, you know,” you trailed in, unsure as to whether you really meant what you were about to say, “I’m staying after to study for the test soon. I wouldn’t want you to walk home alone. Either of you.”

Hanbin convinced himself those last few words were rushed because the ones before were definitely a direct hit on him, and there’s not a second in this situation when he doesn’t regret saying yes to his girlfriend’s homeward request.

“You sure? I wouldn’t want to impose—”

“Are you serious?” He didn’t mean to interrupt his girlfriend as he did, and he especially didn’t want to sound as exasperated as he did. Nothing could stop your eyes from flashing a bit of concern; it was built into your system that Hanbin’s well-being was priority #1. “If you still need help, I could come over.”

Was he upset with you? Anger is common as far as human nature goes, but the genuine kind never rose between you and him. You’ve certainly seen him tense up in situations like confessions or tests even he didn't study for (no thanks to you), but did his shoulders always buckle so tight?

“I think you’ve helped enough.”

There, you’ve done it. Now, there lies two casualties. That red thread of fate did last until the very end.

“B-But I’m here now!” You sounded more enthused than you were. “And I don’t want to hold either of you up, so let’s start walking, yeah?”

You extended your arm, gesturing for them to lead the way. Part of you hoped he’d take your tainted hand instead, but he never did. He never could. His girlfriend had to tug for his body to finally react, and you witnessed his face surf through a plethora of emotions before settling on a forced cordial smile—one he used after every killing.

This moment felt all too familiar. Déjà vu all over again, only you felt out of place. This was a change in scenery. Rather than spotting the sunset, you watched as the couple turned their backs, your eyes boring into the back of an innocent’s head, who walked in the position you once had.

You were prepared to play the kicked puppy, a gate of tears ready for their cue. But you couldn’t, not when the boy who did away with your innocence walks already guilted with so many bodies, some that hadn’t even gone cold.

So, you never did.

You told him you needed all but 5 minutes. If it had been 5 minutes, would your life have been spared?

[morgansunflower]

Broken Wing

Batmom! Reader X Bat! Sons

Warnings:heavy angst & explicit language

Words:1550

Arthur's notes! Third P. O. V

Requested taglist @too-strong-to-lose

Batmom helps each of her Robin's broken wings.

It'd been 3 days since things had finally got back to normal. Grayson had thankfully returned the mantel to his Dad and was able to return back to Blud-haven. His baby brother was back. Dick however had missed the family dinner last night claiming he had trouble in Bludhaven he had to take care of. Batmom wasn't buying it. During the time when Bruce was gone, Grayson was under too much pressure. He was OK, really he tried to convince himself. Grayson sat in his chair as his heart cried knowing he was alone. He'd been patrolling and working with the team nonstop. He was growing distant with everyone. He never gave himself a chance to fully grasp everything that was falling apart. Batmom decided to go check in on her son. On her way she first ordered take-out from big belly burger. She walked up the steps to his apartment with the bag of food in hand. She uses the key he gave her for emergencies. She opens the door to the dark room. It was a complete wreck, Alfred would have panic if he saw this. She hears a shallow breath from his bedroom.

"Grayson?"

She instantly drops everything as she thinks she hears him suffocating. She opens his door seeing him touching his neck as he felt he can't breath. His eyes were shaking and his hands felt they were on pins and needles.

"Dick! Son! It's OK!" she touches his shoulders as his panicked eyes looked into her "hey listen to me, listen to my breathing" she follows through the breaching exercise she taught Jason, Grayson did just that "good job son. Feel my hands you're safe" she encouraged, he looked down feeling completely helpless as his guilt ate at him. "hey look at me.. please look at me" she pleaded

He takes a deep breath pinching the bridge of his nose "I don't.. I don't know what to do anymore mommmm" he said with a shallow breath.

"you don't need to have all the answers sweetie, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other"

"Jason are you ok?" Batmom asked her son over the phone.

He takes a deep breath trying to calm down.. Her heart broke in two recognizing the anxiety in his voice.

"where are you Jay?" she looks out the window seeing the hard rain pouring down "are you ok son? Are you in the dry?"

She grabbed her rain coat still on the phone with him. Jason felt defeated. He'd been sleep deprived, endlessly working himself so he could avoid the inevitable of him not being ok. She uses the tracker to follow to his location.

"you're safe, you're OK I'm here. I'm coming to you right now baby-bird.. Tell me what you feel?"

"I feel the rain..."

....

As she made it to his location Jason sat on the ground curled upward as if he was a child. She uses her umbrella to walk to her second Robin. She kneels down to him. He lifts his head with his eyes heavy with emotion mixed with lack of sleep. His panic attack was the third one in the last 5 days. She reaches to touch his face rubbing his soaking wet forehead. He began to cry. His heart was heavy, so heavy. He wanted to feel, nothing and he feels everything. She hugged him kneeling down. Jason cried in his mom's arms trying to bring himself back together.

"c'mon let's get out of the rain, we'll go home. I'll make you some sweet bread" she suggested

He reluctantly nods, he knew it wasn't going to be easy and that he'd have set backs, but he's not alone "ok.. Mom"

Y/N noticed the coffee pot both in Tim's room(that she did not like) and the one in the kitchen were remaining quite empty. She tried to tell herself that he was focusing on a project.. But her heart was so worried. She tried to talk to him but he kept avoiding her. Tim opened the Manor door returning from school.

"hey Tim, did--" he quickly cut his mom off shutting the door behind him

"sorry Mom I'm too busy to talk right now, see you.. Later!"

He ran off up the stairs before she could respond. He barley talked or ate. She walks into his room seeing the empty Starbucks cups, empty monsters, and empty coffee pot. Tim was typing on his laptop while in his bed. His eyes were bloodshot and baggy. He looked exhausted.

"Tim.." she sighs "this has to stop"

"I uh I have to recalculate the coms and ah.. I need to.. To"

"you need to sleep son.. what is wrong Timothy? I want you to talk to me, I'm your mother or at least legal guardian.. What's happening to you that you are neglecting yourself"

"... I'm fine" he sighed, she knows that's a lie.. He looks away from her feeling like he was a disappointment to her "I never wanted to be a failure to you"

"Timmy! You are my son. I love you, you could never fail me"

He didn't know if the lack of sleep was making him feel more emotional or more likely his emotions had been tightly held for too long. Y/N walks sitting on his bed. She wraps her arms around him. He began to cry feeling her comfort take away his anxiety.

Duke sat on the roof watching the sun go down. Dick and Cassandra just left for patrol after talking with him. Maybe Y/N doesn't know yet.. He hoped not really. He just didn't want her to worry. He had just moved in 6 months ago and was still adjusting to the new family. He couldn't understand where he went wrong. Things were going so right and now it's all wrong. He hears movement, he looks to Y/N. She had just gotten off work when Bruce told her what happened.

"hey"

"hi"

She sits beside him she places her hand on his back.

"I.. Everything was going perfect. I got a family, I was with a girl and.. She doesn't want to be with me for a reason I can't even figure out.. What's wrong with me?"

"not a single thing is wrong with you son. If she can't see how absolutely wonderful you are than she's not for you"

"thanks.." he takes a shaky breath

She kisses his head "well for once the Manor is empty and I'm off for the night to. Want to watch a movie and eat ice-cream?"

For the first time in a while he smiled. They went inside she made two bowls of ice-cream. She walks to the movie room Duke smiled. He then began to think about his mother that died not even a year ago. He reaches his arms to hug her. She hugs her son tightly. At the end of the day he still had all of his family.

Damian takes a deep, he should be stronger than this. He shouldn't feel any pain. He wanted to her to hold him. He sits by his parents bedroom door closing his eyes. His father was on a league mission. He remembered the nightmare he had, or more like a memory of his Mom's near death experience. She had a few close calls but 5 weeks ago.. She was gone, missing for 3 days until they finally found her, but she was gravelly injured in a coma. Damian felt responsible. He should have been able to save her pain. He was terrified she was not going to make it through the night. They were on patrol together when she disappeared. She gave him the only breathing mask, because his was broken. She was protecting him from Scarecrows fear toxin. She ran away before the poisonous gass made her attack her own child. Once he ran after her, she had disappeared. He felt so terrible he couldn't even look at his family. Damian hated feeling everything so deeply, he was a lot like his older brother in that sense. He wanted to let himself break down his walls and open the door. He knew well, that Y/N would welcome him with open arms. Though to admit defeat.. To admit he's truly scared. He remembers her holding his hand with her weak grip. She was far too fragile to even be touched he thought. She was strong but he'd never seen her in so much pain. Damian covers his face with his palms as his tears swelled his eyes. Batmom's eyes open from slumber, hearing the crys of her baby bird. She quickly leaves her bed to take her robe. She cautiously opens the door unaware, but fearful that one of her children had a terrible frightening nightmare. She sees Damian sitting on the floor in tears. Her heart drops. She leans down to touch his arms. She kisses his face and holds him up to her arms. Damian swiftly hugged her sobbing, he felt her heartbeat. He loves her so much. She's his mom.

"shhhhh shh I'm here, it's OK son" she cooed. "I'm here baby"

"forgive me mother" he begs

"Damian Wayne! There is absolutely nothing you have to apologize for, I'm ok. Do not blame yourself for anything son"

[heartsoji]

BOKUTO X READER

tw: death of a dog // angst-ish w/ comfort

"cheer up!"

"you're so strong for not crying! keep it up!"

"it's ok! they're in a better place. you should just be happy for them!"

"just don't think about it!"

those phrases, with some type of wording variation, were words you had heard a little too frequently lately.

3 days ago, your beloved dog had ascended to the clouds, and you had been a wreck internally since.

various people had said some sort of alteration of the above four phrases at least a few dozen times. and while you knew that they were simply trying to offer their comfort without malicious intent, their comments would either aggravate you or further add to your desolation.

you understood that it was scary. it would be scary seeing someone who you'd built up in your mind to be a sweet, bubbly, cheerful person breaking down and breaking character. it would be scary seeing them cease to be the person you once knew and loved. you wouldn't know who they were anymore and you were now desperately trying to keep them in character to preserve the bubbly image of the person in your mind.

you knew that you had to move on. you were a mess inside and you could feel your sadness continue to grow exponentially each and everyday.

however, no one would ever know you were such an internal wreck just by looking at you. you were trying so hard and doing a very good job at keeping up a good front. smile at your peers and teachers. keep your appearance tidy. go out with friends after school.

you, too, were trying to preserve the bubbly image of yourself in your mind.

"good morning, sensei!"

"good morning, l/n."

"yui-chan! good morning!"

"y/n-chan! morning! energetic as usual!"

"ah, bokuto-san! morning!"

"morning! how are you?"

you paused for a tiny fraction of a second. you felt your features trying to twist into a pained expression. you wanted to say, "not well, actually. i've been a wreck since, as the whole school knows for whatever reason, my dog passed recently." you wanted to cry. you wanted to go home. you wanted to scream. you wanted for your best friend to come back.

but you refused to let any of your thoughts show. pushing past it with a perhaps overly wide and possibly fake-looking smile, you replied, "great! i got a lot of sleep last night. how about you?"

bokuto, too, paused for a second. but not because he had to think about how he was doing, but because he saw the perhaps millisecond of hesitation. because he saw the slight crack in your cheerful facade. because he saw the way you tried to cover it up with an extra burst of cheer. because he saw it. because he saw you.

he chose not to comment on it, but made a mental note of it. "really good! i studied real hard last night, and i'm sure im gonna pass the math test today!"

"that's great!" you replied. "good luck!" and with that, you moved on with your day.

later, when you went outside, you realized that it was raining, and that you'd have to walk home in the pouring rain. you really didn't feel like getting wet today, so you chose to wait it out. the forecast said that it would take a mere 45 minutes, anyways.

two hours later, and you were still scrolling on your phone, waiting for the heavy rain to pass.

you sighed and set down your phone, bored. you had heard before that rain symbolized rebirth. perhaps right now, your beloved pup was getting reborn into a different body. you wondered if they were getting treated well in a nice home. if they had a warm bed and healthy meals. if they were doing well without you.

suddenly, you felt the drip-drip-dripping of not the rain from the sky on your legs, but the rain from your eyes instead. you had been so bottled up lately, and you could suddenly feel the cap pop off and all the emotion rushing out. you had been trying so hard to make it seem like everything was ok, when it reality, it wasn't. your best friend suddenly wasn't here anymore, and you felt more alone than ever. you had spent so much time and effort trying to be happy, but it wasn't working in the slightest, and you felt awful and incompetent for it. sobs wracked your body as you cried and grieved for your lost best friend. however, even in these moments, where you were obviously breaking down and having a much-needed cry, you were thinking to yourself, "why are you crying? keep up a smile! this is no time to be wallowing in pity. smile. smile. smile."

suddenly, you felt a gentle hand on your back. you turned around to see bokuto, setting his stuff down and coming to sit next to you.

"b-bokuto-san? oh my gosh, i'm so sorry. uhm, i actually, uh, stubbed my toe and it really hurt, so that's why i'm crying. gosh, i probably look like such a mess." you blabbered lamely.

"you know," he started, "if there's something bothering you, you can feel free to let me know. i'm a pretty good listener!"

you wiped your face quickly. "oh, don't worry. seriously, there's nothing wrong."

bokuto paused for a moment. "sorry if this is invading your privacy, but, well, i heard your dog died recently."

you're not quite sure why that was what set you off, but it did. like an old dam breaking down, a flood was released from your eyes as you let out loud, somewhat embarrassing sobs.

bokuto calmly rubbed your back with his large hand. "wanna talk about it?" he asked in a sort of soothing tone.

you weren't usually the type to complain or dramatize your situation in fear of burdening others with your problems. you had developed the habit of bottling up in order to not do so, and you thought that you'd been doing a good job at suppressing your emotions and pretending like everything's fine when it isn't. however, something about bokuto, whether it be the way he asked, his voice, the situation, whatever, tore down the walls you had built over the years. suddenly, you found yourself venting and bawling like a baby to a classmate you had never had a real conversation with. it was a bit embarrassing, humiliatingly vulnerable, but apparently much needed.

"and, well," you said in between your sobs, "everyone's been telling me to just be happy! and to not think about it! but sometimes, i don't know, i just really, really, really, want to cry and scream like a baby. i'm so tired of being the cheerful yet mature, infallible, reliable, therapist character! i just sometimes wish that i could lean on somebody, even if only for a few moments, even though that's also my worst nightmare. i hate that i don't even understand what im feeling! i hate it! i hate it!" you cried into him.

bokuto let you cry silently for a minute before starting with, "sometimes, i get into moods when im playing volleyball where i'm grumpy, annoyed, and frankly, useless." he chuckled a little before continuing, "my teammates call it 'bokuto's emo mode.'" his facial expression saddens a bit before saying, "they always tell me to snap out of it and to cheer up, but i don't think that they understand that sometimes, i just want to be sad."

you felt your heart pang a little. honestly, you couldn’t believe that a guy whom you’d never exchanged more than a brief set of hellos with seemed to understand your feelings better than your lifelong friends. “i just want to be sad,” huh? that indeed did feel accurate. you wanted to cry and sob for nights without end, but had never allowed yourself to before. it felt too vulnerable and dramatic to cry and feel sad about it.

you thought for a moment. “yeah,” you replied simply, not because you didn’t know what to say, or you didn’t agree, but actually, because you agreed entirely. bottling things up had always made things worse, whereas crying to bokuto felt therapeutic and relaxing. “honestly, this whole talk thing’s making me feel a lot better.

“im glad.” bokuto smiled warmly. “ill always be here if you ever need to talk again.”

and he kept that promise to be there, but not just for talking. he continued to be there for your highest and lowest moments, for your anger and resentment, for your sadness and angst, for your fear and disgust, for your bliss and joy.

he’d be there for your ongoing battle with depression, for your growth in talking about your problems instead of bottling it up, and for your 3am cravings.

he’d also be there for the first time you’d accepted a confession, which, coincidentally, happened to be from a guy named bokuto.

[universallychaoticpan]

Hii! So first of all I just want to say that I adoooree your writing, it gets me so emotional that sometimes I come back to read your work again! I love it! Also as a fellow Dazai kinnie, I was wondering if I could request some Dazai x reader. I thought about something more angsty/hurt comfort, where reader has really similar personality/experiences as Dazai and during some time when everyone thinks that he is just joking around and just being himself, reader takes him seriously. I would love to see Dazais masks finally crumbling and falling apart because of someone who cares enough to understand him and be there no matter what, u know? And I think you're the best person to portray this, because you write Dazai so accurately it's insane. /pos I hope you have a wonderful day/night! Oh and also sorry for my english, it's not my first language ^^;

Thank you lovely! You're so sweet- I feel like I say that too much but seriously, you are. Hurt/comfort is so fun so ofc I had to write this! Also I'm glad you like my portrayals of Dazai; it means a lot since he's one of my favorite characters and my highest kin. Have a lovely day! (No worries about the English btw, it wasn't a problem at all.) Enjoy :))

It seemed sooner or later, Osamu Dazai ruined things. It was just what he did. Somehow, someway, he would find a way to ruin a good thing for himself; and maybe he deserved it. Maybe all he deserved was the relief of finally feeling safe before he went and wrecked it all. He was a hurricane on a leash. Now it seemed he had drowned you.

You had been broken once, like him. Perhaps you still were, just like him. But you had found one another somewhere amidst the darkness of the city you both seemed to roam, two pairs of glowing eyes meeting across an inky street. You had walked till dawn that night, then again and again until you realized you were falling in love. You followed each other from desolation on the edges of a thousand buildings, reaching for the horizon as though wishing you could hold it in your hands would be enough to fold it up pretty like a paper swan and place it in your palm. Because of you, he had had somewhere to go when he had vanished from the world. Because of him, you had found the agency. You still flirted back and forth like the kisses you threw back and forth meant nothing despite every graze of his skin against yours meaning everything. He was everything; you were more. Everyone else was simply looking in on color and light exploding from you, fireworks flaring up, sparks searing the air whenever you were close. You had found each other. And you loved each other.

He was hoping you still loved him after this.

The still raw memory of your face, your eyes widening after what he had said cut deep and hard; he had promised you once he would never make you feel that way- stupid promise for him to make; he already knew he was destined to loose you from the day he'd realized how far he'd fallen. But maybe he had deluded himself again, tricked himself into thinking maybe you could be the good thing that didn't decay. That maybe, despite all he'd done, all he was and had been, you could be someone who stayed. And now he was walking the streets alone like he had so long ago, before you had known him and far before he'd ever had the chance to hurt you at all, because no matter how hard he wished it wasn't true, he had hurt you. The eerie quiet swallowed him more and more the further he ventured from the glowing windows of the agency where the others watched his retreat. In the door, Atsushi watched, halfway to following Dazai but choosing not to. There was nothing he could do for either of you.

So Dazai walked, the scent of sweet wine and smoke following him, seeping out into the air in tendrils, the low whispers of water growing nearer the closer he got to the bay.

And there you were.

Sitting on a dock, feet bare and just barely touching the dark surface of the lapping water. Your jacket was off, your hair was messy; the night cast your skin in silver until you glowed like the full moon, who illuminated the shinning patterns your tears had left behind on your wind-kissed cheeks.

You didn't turn as he walked up to you; you barely moved as he sat beside you, your eyes still gazing off to nothing as he struggled to find a way to get you to see him.

"I'm sorry."

It was all he could say, really. There were no other words for the way he felt now; no other words for the cold remorse he so rarely felt. And you said nothing. Still and quiet, the only movement in the silhouette of your strong body the slight fluttering of your hair in the breeze and the smooth lowering of your eye as they closed. You stayed that way, all silver and breaths that sent clouds of smoke billowing from your lips as you released them.

"You're like me, Dazai. You know that. And people like us...well, we hurt people. It's just how it goes." Still, you did not look at him. And you didn't need to; the cold honesty in your voice the almost bitter detachment- it hurt without seeing the look in your eyes.

"That doesn't change the fact that I regret ever saying it. It doesn't matter if we were made to hurt people; not now. What matters is even if I hurt you, even if I've ruined us this time, I will always regret it.

Maybe we can't help but hurt people. That doesn't mean we enjoy it. It doesn't mean I enjoy it. Especially not when it comes to you." You didn't pull away when you felt the smoothness of his palm on the back of your hand. It meant everything in the world that still, you did not move an inch. Not towards him, but not away either. And you were both quiet for a moment there. You were silent and beside each other, the world just as reverent to your rapt vigil over the bay while your mind warred with itself.

When you turned to him, it felt like the world stopped; the breeze stilled, the waves murmur faded into the background of awareness; everything was washed out, colorless, gilded in liquid silver save for the darkening glitter of your eyes. Those eyes he loved, that he could drown and be safe forever. They were finally on him.

"I know you, Osamu. I have for longer than most who are still alive. And I love you; I'm doomed to love you. I've accepted that means you may hurt me and I don't fault you if you do. We're learning how to do this together, you and I."

The way his arms found their way around you then was every apology he couldn't say. Forgiveness was the way you let your head fall against his chest, the rhythm of his heart beating thudding gently against your ear as you lifted his fingers to press gently against your neck. You found your breath slowing, your eyes closing as the warmth of him enveloped you, your own pulse matching his after a time.

One, Two

In, Out,

It was a new language; matching words in any other.

Amore Mia, Mon Amour, Mi Amor.

Amor.

You knew he felt it, too.

[biggerbetterbat]

WITH YOU [5] THIS IS NOT A SUMMER CAMP

Daryl Dixon x OC(Charlie Reed)

Summary: Charlie is left alone in the camp. Hard situation makes her to stop distancing herself.

Warnings: language

Song: Riptide Vance Joy

A/N: Hi guys :) There's a chance that today I will post another chapter, but I'm not sure. Also I'm currently on season 10 of the walking dead and I'm a wreck after season 9. Like...what the hell? Anyways, enjoy! And I PROMISE there will be more Daryl here.

DAYLIGHT ON WATTPAD

She was sitting on the grass, playing with one blade between her fingers. She felt her skin getting warmer under the hot rays of Georgia's sun. She could still see Atlanta in the distance, some of the highest skyscrapers, that she used to pass by. Charlie wasn't sure how long passed since Glenn was gone since she didn't have a watch.

She sighed heavily at the thought of him and threw a blade away. She tangled her fingers into her hair nervously and pulled, to somehow stop the anxiety.

Carl left his car long forgotten and sat down next to her on the grass. His presence made her uncomfortable as she had a feeling that she should talk to him about something because the silence was making her uncomfortable. He was making her uncomfortable.

"I know you are worried about Glenn." he said. "But everything's going to be okay."

She scoffed.

Carl was living in a bubble created by his mother to protect him. She was feeding him with words like everything's going to be alright, we will be just fine or...

"You should just have faith." he added.

Charlie didn't want to open her mouth, because she didn't want to say something painful to the boy. She didn't like him, but she wasn't heartless. After all, he lost a father not so long ago.

"Maybe you can teach us something fun?" Carl asked.

"Fun?" she furrowed her eyebrows and looked at him.

"Yeah." he nodded with a small smile."Like origami. It was fun last time"

Her patience for this kid was out now. Two weeks was enough and actually, Charlie didn't know if she was angry at this kid or at his mother.

"This isn't a summer camp, Carl."

A small smile faded from his face.

"There's people that are dying right now. If you won't stop being a boy, then you will die as one." she said.

Carl got up and walked away. Remorse washed through her because Carl was the one who knew how it was to lose someone. At the same time, she didn't need his pointless words and being comforted by a kid.

She didn't have to wait long until Lori appeared in her line of sight, clearly angry. Her eyes were throwing lightnings and blush covered her cheeks.

"Don't you ever dare to come close to Carl." she said. "Do you hear me?"

Charlie stood up on her feet and looked her in the eyes.

"Every day since I came here I've been sitting with your kid, taking care of him because you're not around." she said.

"You told him he will die!"

"Everyone will die. And if you're going to treat him like a little boy, he will just die sooner than later."

"How dare you?! Do you have any idea how to raise a kid?"

Charlie looked her in the eyes.

"I guess I know as much as you do."

Lori opened her mouth to say something, but apparently, Shane heard the whole conversation and stepped between two women.

"Woah. Let's calm down and..." he said and raised his arms in a calming manner. "I know there are emotions, but let's not fight inside our group, okay?"

Lori looked at him with anger that he didn't have her back and Charlie just rolled her eyes.

"Listen." he said. "Lori is his mother and you shouldn't talk to him like that. He's just a kid. And Charlie also has some right in her words. We shouldn't treat him as a baby." said Shane looking at them.

Further conversation was broken by a CB radio hum and a familiar voice could be heard.

"Hello, Base Camp?"

Everyone turned their attention towards the RV and the voice coming out of it.

"Can anybody hear me? Base Camp, this is T-Dog. Anybody hear me?"

"Hello? Hello?" asked Dale who was the closest. "Reception's bad on this end. Repeat, repeat."

"Shane, is that you?" asked T-Dog.

"Is that them?" asked Lori.

They all heard hum and broken speech. It was hard to understand what the person was saying, but she did hear a word trapped and store.

"There are geeks all over the place." T-Dog said. "We're surrounded."

"T-Dog repeat the last." said Dale. "Repeat."

"Oh my God." Charlie breathed and anxiety hit her hard again. "We have to help them." she said.

"No, absolutely not." Shane replied."No."

"We have to do something." said Charlie, walking up to Shane. She touched his bicep and looked him in the eye.

"He said the department store." said Lori, looking at a cop too.

"I heard it too." confirmed Dale.

Walsh looked her in the eyes as if searching for what he should do.

"Shane." Charlie repeated, her eyes pleading him to do something.

"Charlie." he looked at her. "We don't go after them. We do not risk the rest of the group. Y'all know that."

"So we're just gonna leave her there?" asked Amy.

"Look, Amy, I know that this is not easy."

"She volunteered to go to help the rest of us." she argued.

"I know, and she knew the risks, right? See, if she's trapped, she's gone. So we just have to deal with that. There's nothing we can do." he said in a calm voice.

"She's my sister, you son of a bitch." Amy spat and passed him by.

Charlie raised her eyes at him, desperately trying to convince him with her worried expression.

"What if it was Lori that was stuck there?" Charlie asked. "Or Carl?"

"The rules are rules." said Shane through the clenched teeth.

Fury ignited within Charlie as Shane refused to let her join Glenn and the scavenging group. Her fists clenched at her sides, her jaw tightened, and her eyes blazed with frustration. Without another word, Charlie turned on her heel and stormed away into the woods, her steps heavy with resentment and defiance. She needed to cool off, to clear her head before she did or said something she'd regret.

"I can't just sit here while they're trapped in Atlanta. We have to do something," Charlie said as soon as she heard heavy steps behind her.

Shane placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder as a sign of compassion, and to a bit release her anger at him. "I know it's tough, but we have to think strategically. Running in there guns blazing won't help anyone."

"I just feel so helpless, Shane," Charlie confessed. "They're our friends, our family."

"I get it," he said and nodded, when the girl looked him in the eyes. "I do. Just trust me."

"Okay, I'll try."

"Listen," Shane said once the atmosphere softened. "If you have any problem. If there's anything you struggle with...I'm here for you."

"I'll keep that in mind," she nodded.

"They say I'm quite good with distracting people from their worries."

As Shane subtly flirted with Charlie, she couldn't help but feel taken aback by his sudden shift in tone. She saw Shane as a leader. And she saw on her eyes how good of a distraction he was, especially to Lori. Even though, she tried to maintain her composure, a faint blush crept up her cheeks, betraying her inner turmoil. She forced a small, awkward smile, attempting to brush off Shane's flirtation and steer the conversation back to the matter at hand. That's why she only said: "We'll see about that, Shane."

After the CB radio call, the day seemed pretty normal, just like every other before. Daryl was still gone, Amy didn't want to talk with anyone and Dale was just standing on the RV, looking for something. That's how she stuck with Lori and whining Carl.

"I didn't mean what I said about you."

Lori looked at her and smiled slightly. Her eyes showed that she wasn't mad anymore and she didn't hold any grudge towards the younger girl. "It's okay." she smiled. "I know you didn't mean any of those words. We're all just nervous."

Charlie tried to crack a smile.

"Baby, the more you fidget, the longer this is gonna take, so don't, okay?" said Lori, changing the subject, when her son whined louder.

"I'm trying."

"Then try harder." both Lori and Charlie said at the same time.

"Why don't you cut your hair?" asked Carl, looking at Charlie.

"No one is getting close to me with scissors."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because..." she tried to think about the answer. Charlie was thinking if she should just shrug him off or open up to him. "I was the only girl in the family, besides my mom. I had four brothers. I was wearing clothes after them, that weren't that used, and my whole childhood I looked like a boy with short hair." she shared.

"Why?"

"My dad wanted to save money, I guess." she shrugged. "Or another son. I don't know."

"When did you stop looking like one?" asked Lori with a smile.

"I was fifteen. I confessed to a boy and he said that he liked girls." she answered. "Yeah."

"Hard to believe." said Shane, who was keeping quiet.

When he caught her eyes and furrowed brows he added: "That someone could mistake your pretty face."

"Ow, mom!" Carl winced in pain as Lori pulled his hair in an accident.

"You think this is bad, wait til you start shaving," Shane said. "That stings. Days come you will be wishing for one of your mama's haircuts."

"I will believe it when I see it." replied Carl.

"Tell you what, you get through this with some manly dignity, and tomorrow I will teach you something special. I will teach you how to catch frogs." Shane said, looking up from cleaning his gun.

"I've caught a frog before." Carl said proudly.

"I said frogs. Plural." Shane smiled. "And it is an art, my friend. It is not to be taken lightly. There are ways and means few people know about and I'm going to share my secrets."

"Oh, I'm a girl. You talk to him." Lori said as her son looked at her.

"Have you ever caught frogs, plural?" asked Carl.

Charlie smiled lightly.

"Yeah. I did." she said.

"But you're a girl."

"Like I said, four brothers. I did a lot of nonlady-like things." Charlie smiled at the shocked expression on a boy's face."And military freak dad."

"It's a one-time offer, bud." he said. "Not to be repeated."

"Why do we need frogs, plural?" Carl asked.

"You ever eat a frog's leg? Shane asked.

"Ewww."

'No, yum."

"No, he's right ew." Lori chuckled.

"When we get down to that last can of beans, you're gonna be loving those frog legs, lady." Shane said to Lori. " I can see it now: Shane, do you think I could have a second helping, please? Please? Just one?"

"Yeah, I doubt that."

"Have you eaten frogs, Charlie?" Carl looked at her again.

"No. My dad always made sure to have just enough cans with beans." she answered and looked at Shane.

"Don't listen to her man." a cop rolled his eyes. "You and me, we'll be heroes. We'll feed these folks cajun-style Kermit's legs."

"I would rather eat Miss Piggy." confessed Lori. "Yes, that came out wrong." she smiled.

"Heroes, son." Shane said. "Spoken of in song and legend. You and me. Carl and Shane.

Boy hummed, still not convinced.

"Military freak father, huh?" asked Shane once Carl was calmed and Lori could cut his hair. "Was he in an army?"

"No." she answered. "My brothers were. That doesn't change the fact that he made all of us do survival shit. He sent us all each summer, three weeks in the middle of nowhere."

Shane smiled.

"So you know a lot."

"I know how to cry in the woods, yeah." she replied and caught Shane's smile. "I hated those things. I absolutely loathed sleeping in a tent, mosquitoes, no running water." she told them as past memories were coming back to her. "I was crying every day. I was hiding anywhere I could, so I wouldn't have to do stupid activities."

She remembered those camps, three weeks of hell. Waking up at five, running God knows how many miles. Eating something that looked like food, but to this day she wasn't sure what exactly that was. There was no running water, no beds, no walls- just them and the forest. And mosquitoes. At the end of the camp, she didn't have a place on her body that wasn't bitten, and was really surprised that she had any blood left in her veins.

The only one who enjoyed those three weeks was Will. He loved all the activities, he loved the feeling of him against nature and his own limits. Her oldest brother- Finn was there with them just two times before he was too old. He said that thanks to that experience he found out he wanted to be a doctor. Finn was practicing his skills on boys or girls there that were too clumsy. Luke - her second oldest brother - didn't mind those. For him those three weeks were nothing special, he was going and he was back, done. That simple. Even her youngest brother, little Pete was enjoying those things. He wanted to toughen up and finally earn their father's approval.But in the end, he was always the one back at home first with some sprains, broken leg or arm, or concussion.

Shane chuckled under his nose."Your dad went hardcore."

"You have no idea."

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[iveta777]

I am really glad that I'm not that girl anymore. She was the worst version of me. She went through so much in a very short amount of time.

She was stressed out. She moved to a new city far away from home. She graduated and started university- new home, new city, new people. She didn't know anybody there except her so called best friend who she shared an apartment with.

A month later her family got sick because of COVID. She was worried. She was desperate. She couldn't do anything to help them. She was scared, terrified, petrified to call them because every time she did the news got worse. Her mother was so sick that she had to be hospitalized. Her father was very sick as well but he had to take care of the rest of the family. She felt useless, helpless.

A few days later her only grandpa died. She was close with him. He was more like a parent than a grandparent for her. She didn't get the chance to see him for last time and say goodbye. One day she had a healthy grandpa full of life and on the other he was gone and she was left just with her memories.

During all that the school year had begun and she had to think about university and studying as well. Because of COVID the lectures were online. And her best friend went back home to her family. She was left alone. Scared. In a new city. With new people.

It was too much for her. She was a wreck. She was depressed. She was so lost that she didn't know how to cope with everything and get out of the emotional hole she was in. She was so tired of everything. She was sleeping for hours and waking up a thousand times more tired. Her body was good. It was her soul that needed rest. She was overwhelmed. She started eating more sweets because the chocolate was her only friend. It was the only thing that made her a bit happy. But it wasn't just the chocolate. It was like an endless cycle. Sleepless days and nights with cooking and eating following by days and nights full of sleep and no eating at all.

The results: gained 20+kg in few months; overwhelmed; depressed; ruined sleep schedule. She wasn't living, she was just existing. She was so confused. Her life was a mess.

On top of that when the things finally started getting better, her friend and her parted ways. It was a combination of different things but she couldn't live there anymore so she had to move out. She found a new place and moved in. This time she was alone in the city for real. She felt like she has lost everything. Everything was ruined.

But then when she had no other choice because she had nothing else to lose, she had to start building her(our) life again. She found new friends. Her family got healthy and happy. She studied hard and had good grades. She loved what she was studying and it was a pleasure for her to go to the university. She started going out and having fun.

Today I'm a totally different person from the one I was two years ago. I'm healthy, happy, free. I rebuild my life and have control over it. I'm emotionally and mentally better. I started working on my physical health as well- working out, walking, eating healthy and enough food that I've learnt how to prepare myself. I've lost weight as well. I learnt to find time for me and reduce the chances of burnout - reading books I like, watching videos/movies, getting enough sleep, listening to my favourite songs. I started wearing bright colours because I want to. They are happy colours and make my world even more colourful. I started singing again- I haven't done that in years.

To sum up ,I think that if that girl had the chance to see me now, she would be proud of me. She would feel motivated to take the risk and change her (our) life. She would be more confident and will stop being a people pleaser. She will set healthy boundaries and won't let anyone to manipulate her. She will thank me because now I'm still a kind caring person with a good heart but I'm not naive anymore. She will be proud of me because I finally realised my self worth and I love myself.

[feralkwe]

emotional bullshit below the cut

i am stressed beyond belief about this move. i'm in the weird spot of wanting it to come faster and needing time to slow down because there is so much to do. moving stresses me out enough as it is but overseas moves are especially heinous. i can't do the big chores on my own, and truly resent that i have to have my spouse help me after he's been at work all day. they're coming to scan our house for setting up the virtual tour tomorrow and we still have so much to do. all i wanted to do was take some of this stuff off my spouse's plate. but no, i'll just sit here crying and feeling like i'm useless.

add to that i am reading into every word and not words that anyone makes to me. i'm hypersensitive to what people are saying even if they are probably not meaning to condescend to me. i'm stressing out about people not interacting with me or my tumblr as if i am some chronically online infant who hasn't learned how to people yet. i'm so used to being discarded as a friend that i just resign myself to not being wanted except for a very select handful of very few people. i should just be able to brush this off, but i can't.

and not to mention that moving to a new state/city has me beside myself worrying that the friends i have there, who have largely been online only people, will not like me in person and i'll be in the same lonely pit of isolation i am on this fucking rock of an island, only i won't know my way around.

and everything just sounds *so ridiculous* when i say or type it out, so essentially i've started a spiral and trust like, two people total to even give a shit right now.

anyway i'll likely delete this later i just don't have anywhere else to put it and it's making me a wreck by keeping it in my head.

[serenescribe]

for the new ask game!! hope you're having a fun day!

1/ my favorite fic of yours:

i want to say all of them but thats not how this works TvT so ill limit myself: anything you wrote for the selkie au (beloved selkie son <33), hollow moon (im still haunted whenever i see the moon outside), everything goes dark (i dont even know anything about feh?? but i fell in love with the setting and extreme dubious morality) and the silver sleeps for 100 years after mal's ob fic (utter hell; broke my heart and tore it to shreds. i will shatter like glass if i attempt to re-read it i think)

6/ something i remember vividly from reading one of your fics:

the flashbacks from 'everything goes dark' come back to haunt me every now and then. i vividly recall the growing dread i felt reading through them and the gut churning horror of reading those final ones; terribly fucked up lilia my beloved 🫶

7/ what made me the most emotional after reading:

two for nero got a visceral reaction out of me the first time i read it but what actually made me most emotional was the absolute descent into madness that hollow moon was. the build up of silver's condition and the way i kept going 'there's no way it can get worse' only to get proven wrong a few paragraphs later had my inside tied in knots and tears dripping down my face before i even got to the end ;;; ALSO that fic where lilias "i love you's" aren't enough to wake silver up anymore tore me apart. i still think about it a lot

12/ a fic of yours that ive re-read:

so many!! i re-read two for nero twice, i go back to the selkie fics a lot, also re-read the silver sickfic, the diasomnia cuddle pile anddd that's all ive got off the top of my head o/

Fanfic asks - for the askers

micaaaa my beloved!! i love our selkie au dearly and i still want to write more for it when i am not crushed under the weight of old english and essays :'D excellent picks for fav fics!! i'm glad to see some appreciation for everything goes dark bc i'm still very fond of that; i went a lot more descriptive than i usually do and i'm still quite happy with it!

again, i am so SO glad that hollow moon fucked people up. mission goddamn accomplished!! the way everyone was probably just like "it can't get worse" only for me to sledgehammer them with the next paragraph. truly a train wreck in the slowest possible speed. it really does get worse before it gets better. (and aaaa god that fic ;;; tore at my own heart while i was writing it)

happy to know that you reread some of my stuff <3 thank you for sending this in!! :D