#but it is? real? and i am? alive? and i'm very young & there are so much things i don't know yet

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[adventuringblind]

Keep me Close

Past Jules Bianchi x reader, platonic Charles Leclerc x Reader

Genre: angst

Request: yepyep finally got me some angst things to write

Summary: Charles's new girlfriend can't understand why he's so attached to the reader

Warnings: talks of death, name calling, a table gets flipped

Notes: I definitely didn't cry writing this at one point. Also, no hate to Alex!! I know hardly anything about her, but I know her and Charles are currently together, and it fits the Timeline, so please bear with me.

Masterlist

Your love for Jules was something you find in fairy tales. It was beautiful, and both of you felt connected on a level deeper than anything imaginable.

It started when you were both merely kids. You were six, and he was eight. The two of you had met at the wedding of a mutual friend. Dressed in nice clothing, he'd marched right up to you and claimed to be a knight looking for a princess.

You were inseparable after that. It was like you'd found your soulmate.

When you turned eighteen, Jules had immediately proposed. And when you countered by asking if you were both too young, he said, 'Why waste time when I know I'll love you forever?'"

You'd gotten close with Leclerc family. Specifically with Charles since Jules was named godfather. He spent a great deal of time with you and Jules.

Then 2014. Everyone was sure Jules was going to get a seat with Ferrari. It would be a crime if he didn't.

You remember kissing him, good luck. The last feeling of his lips on your before getting in the car.

You remember telling him to be safe with the rain; that you love him dearly. He replied with his signature wink and an 'I love you more and I always am.'

Then everything stopped. The world seemed to no longer spin. Time refused to move forward as you willed it to go back.

It couldn't be real. There was no way it had happened. You still thought that as you sat at his bedside faithfully for months. There wasn't a world you wanted to live in if it didn't have Jules.

Charles was similarly devastated. He'd lost someone dear to him. The boy spent all his free time sitting with you in the hospital. Even bringing around food that Pascale had made to keep you alive. Something you didn't want to be at that moment.

The bond you'd formed with Charles during this time is hard to explain. There is nothing romantic. He's family despite the age gap not being that large.

He was, and is still, family. You'd promised to still take care of him despite the loss of Jules, and he promised to do the same in his stead.

The start of the 2024bseason brings on an interesting turn of events. Charles had split with his girlfriend before the new year and is now with his new girlfriend Alex.

You like her. She's very sweet as far as you've been told. But there is something there that makes you worry. You just blame the fact that you want the best for Charles.

The first time you met her was at a family dinner. Charles brought Alex with him to introduce her to everyone.

You were actually the first person he introduced her to. You felt honored, but there was something behind her eyes that you couldn't quite pinpoint. But you kept it to yourself and made friendly conversation.

The next time you saw her was when she dropped by the Leclerc family home unannounced. The position she caught you in wasn't a bad one, but it probably didn't look good to her.

Charles had a rough race in Monaco, as per usual, and was laying with his head in your lap while you ran fingers through his hair. It's the same thing Jules had done when Charles was a child after a bad Karting race.

Alex definitely didn't look pleased with you. But she managed to put kn a smile and say hello.

It was awkward. Especially after Charles and her went into another room because you could hear them talking in hushed whispers.

Your fingers find the chain with your wedding ring on it. Your lips press against the cold metal as you hold the ring to your mouth. "I hope I'm doing this right, Jules. It's hard without you here."

The last time you saw Alex was at a birthday party. Your birthday party. Something you don't like having after Jules because he was the one who always made the day special.

Charles is a stubborn man though and decided it was necessary. Partly because this is his way of remembering that you are alive and with them, but it also gives him and excuse to drink and dance.

It wasn't anything massive. Or at least - not a massive as it could have been. There were a good number of people crowded into your Monaco home. The food is good, and the music is better. It definitely felt like a party Jules would have dragged you to in your youth.

It's not long until Charles appears at the door with Alex in tow. He comes to you, and you embrace him as usual. The smile on his face makes everything worth it. despite having to deal with a party for a few hours.

Pierre also finds you and starts up conversation. The three of you fail to notice the fourth becoming increasingly agitated.

A loud crashing sound pulls all of their attention. Alex flipped over the table in her agitation and is now sending chills down your spine with the look on her face.

"Why are you so determined to be some kind of homewrecker! Why can't you just stop being a creep to Charles and let us live in peace!" She screams. It hits your mind like a shadow. The world fades away, and your thoughts are filled with the doubts you have daily.

Tears fill your eyes, and your body goes rigid. "I'm Charles' godmother. Y/N Bianchi. I am no homewrecker." You choke.

Charles and Pierre take a protective step in front of you. "Get out!" Charles' voice drips with venom. Alex looks stunned. She doesn't move even as Charles shouts at her. "Nobody gets to speak like that to my family! Get out!"

Then she runs. Avoiding the gazes of disapproval.

Charles spins around and places his hands on your shoulders. His eyes scanning your face to assess the damage.

"I'm so sorry that happened. You're amazing. Always have been. And anyone who says differently is a fucking asshole."

Even through the tears, she smiles. Jules couldn't have left her in better hands.

[featherwurm]

I'm going to get a lot more personal on here than I usually do:

Baulder's Gate 3, and especially Karlach, make me feel seen in a way no price of media I've ever engaged with before has. It's a big reason why I love it and why it's sticking with me like it is. I too am a big, loud, enthusiastic woman who says out of pocket shit. I have a heavy internal dialogue with myself. I have a temper, I'm bisexual, I love cute shit. I endured years of being utterly touch starved. I love sex and food and being alive...

I also have cancer; it's Follicular B-Cell Lymphoma. I was diagnosed in 2020 when it had reached stage 3A. It's currently under control after chemo* and I'm living my life normally. But while it's a very treatable kind of cancer, it's not fully curable**. There's nothing in me they can remove (it's my whole lymphatic system that's broken) and no drug currently that can wholly knock it out. It's cause is not known (genetically or environmentally), and its unusual for this type of cancer to affect someone as young as I am (I was diagnosed at 35 - it's much more common 65+***). So every three months I go into oncology and they check my blood and symptoms and see if I'm doing ok. I get imaging and biopsies occasionally too. This will go on until I'm not ok (hopefully a long time yet). I'll have to have still manageable but more invasive treatment the next time around. It's a well researched kind of cancer, and my oncologist hopes that in the next decade there may be some more permanent cure for it.

So you can see where I'm going with this. When you hit Karlach's monologue after killing Gortash, I've never felt better understood. I have no one to blame for my condition, no revenge arc of course, but the very same fear, frustration, grief, and anger are all things my husband has heard from me. I've never seen a more beautiful and moving and real exploration of the topic that resonates with me so meaningfully out of a piece of fiction that I love. Béart's performance is amazing - capturing a whole spectrum of emotion.

Karlach's story is absolutely not incomplete as written, confirmed by both the devs and Sam Béart - a terminal condition is just that. You don't get to fix or save her, you get to go with her through tremendous trial and difficulty. If you want to continue that story in your mind that's great (I know I'm eager to do so, for my own personal encouragement if nothing else) but on it's own it's a whole story about coming to terms with something that doesn't have a quick and easy little fetch-quest resolution.

So - every time I see another whinging post/essay/bitchfest about how her story feels "unfinished" or "incomplete" or "has too much cut content" you can see why I might take it a bit personally - knowing that the life I have, the easy solutions I don't get, and the frustration and grief I live with is seen as incorrect and wrong and bad writing makes me a little pissed off. If you think the story is incomplete as told and think a 'third engine upgrade' is missing you completely missed the point.

Karlach doesn't get a simple easy ending because people like me**** don't get that either. And like my husband and the others who love me you can choose to follow that story anyway. And that's fucking beautiful.

*Yeah dealing with cancer and undergoing chemo during a pandemic was really a peach.

**XKCD hits the nail on the head here and here.

***Current treatments have good decade long prognoses... but saying 'you'll probably be fine for the next 10 years' is a lot different at 35 than it is at 65.

****And believe me I've heard from a lot of chronic/terminally ill folks who love the game for the way it represents these things and feel the same, with her Gale, and Shadowheart too.

[alicent-vi-britannia]

Lelouch's relentless search for purpose in life

I've previously talked to you about Lelouch's trauma through the enneagram to explain why Lelouch refuses to open up and trust others and insists on doing everything alone to feel self-sufficient and strong. I've also used the enneagram to explain that Lelouch has locked himself into a protective shell and is uncomfortable feeling vulnerable because of his trauma and his upbringing in Darwinian values ​​in Britannia. However, I haven't talked to you directly about one thing that is very important and perhaps because it is so obvious I have overlooked it until I stumbled upon a small thread on Twitter.

In the last conversation Lelouch has with his father, Charles nullifies the meaning and value of his existence by telling him: "But you're dead. You've always been dead, from the moment you were born. Who gave you the fine clothes you wear, a comfortable home, the food you eat, and your own life? I gave you all of that. You are nothing to me because you have never existed." At that moment, Charles kills Lelouch in symbolic terms, causing him enormous psychological and emotional damage from which he never recovers.

We have this flashback in episode 7 of the first season and later Lelouch threatens CC with suicide if she does not let him go to face his sister, Cornelia: "Until I met you, I was dead. A corpse that existed behind a false appearance of life, a life in which I did nothing real. I experienced the emotions of living day to day as if I were a zombie, with the feeling that I was dying little by little. And if I have to go back to that, then I prefer… [And he places his finger on the trigger of the gun]." The series connects those two scenes through a Dutch shot focused on Lelouch's gaze. The Dutch shot is a steep horizontal tilt shot that is used to indicate instability or danger or that something is not right. In this case, it warns us, on a superficial level, that Lelouch has felt dead since his last meeting with his father and that he has been fighting against that (unfounded) belief and these negative feelings and, on a deeper level, that this is a wrong and harmful belief of Lelouch's that has been poisoning his mental health ever since.

(It's sad to compare the two shots. Little Lelouch's eyes show deep pain. As the Bart and Lisa Simpson meme says: it's the exact frame in which his heart broke. Teenage Lelouch's eyes, on the other hand, are empty. A dead look.)

There are several moments in the story that give us an idea of ​​the young prince's struggle. For example, in the first Audio Drama, "The Uninvited Prince," a young Suzaku rescues Lelouch from some children who are beating him and reproaches him for not standing up for himself and disregarding the hospitality his home provides him and his sister, to which the child Lelouch replies, "I am here and I will live. If I live by my own strength, then I will never be dead again." Little Suzaku, of course, finds Lelouch's statement absurd and just thinks he is a strange child. But this response reflects the boy's insane desire to be self-sufficient (to the point of rejecting the help of others) in order to feel that he is alive (remember that Charles told him that he is alive because he has given him everything he has).

We also have a Picture Drama (I'm sorry I don't remember or have the exact number of the PD, but if it's part of the alternate universe, we can ignore it because they are different universes that shouldn't be mixed) with a monologue by a teenage Lelouch: "I've made a vow to use the strength I have to save Nunnally. That will be the proof that I exist in this world."

These words evoke in me a part of Lelouch's song "Back to Zero" (for the fantastic Code Black album in Ashford) in which our hero sings: "Oh! Can you hear me? This fight is how I know I'm alive."

That is, Lelouch tries to prove his father wrong by looking for a purpose to live that reaffirms his existence and, in principle, Lelouch finds it in Zero and the rebellion since they are the means he has to destroy Britannia and create a kind world for Nunnally. And that's why later on he abandons Ashford Academy, the Zero mask and his friends and gives in to depression (in the future, I'll talk about this moment in more depth in another analysis). Then his goals change and his motivations are reconsidered for a series of reasons and events that I won't stop to explain here, but I will point out that I find it interesting and moving how Lelouch goes from clinging to a purpose in life to giving up on it and dying, in order to fulfill his new goals, obtain results and atone for his sins (the magic of a powerful script and a narrative arc, Larry).

Also, all of this explains why Lelouch lost his temper in the season 1 finale when Suzaku yelled at him that his existence was a mistake and that he needed to be wiped off the face of the Earth. Not only did it bring back memories of Vietnam for Lelouch, it was another important person to him who was denying his existence. Suzaku's words hurt him because, as President Snow said in the Hunger Games trilogy, "the people we love the most are the ones who destroy us." I'm not sure if Suzaku knew what Charles told his friend since Lelouch never reveals his secrets to anyone (people around him, including his loved ones, find out on their own), but Suzaku certainly hit a sensitive button that mentally unsettled Lelouch.

Poor Lelouch. He just wanted his existence validated.

[hbprophetie]

Snape, Scoundrel or Saint? - Week 1: The Muggle

Hey there! Yeah, I'm still alive. Here is my participation for the first week of @snapecelebration 's "Snape: Scoundrel or Saint?" event! I'll try to do my best and deliver one pic for each week, but as I was unsure of the dates concerned by the event, expect them to be pretty late / released when the following week starts! (at best, I'll constantly post them on Tuesday).

As it is something that I enjoy to do, I combined all the prompts in one single drawing that I wanted to make look like a page of manga. I'm not the best when it comes to layering and making dynamics compositions, so I hope it won't look too messy. I had an hard time drawing young Severus's face, as I had never really made any definitive reference for my interpretation of 10 years old kid Snape.

Prompts were "Cokeworth", "Tobias and Eileen Snape", "Childhood", "Friendship" and "Holiday", so I hope you'll find them easily there!

Even if it took me very long to put the manga screentones I'm really not sure of if I prefer with or without it. Do not hesitate to tell me your opinion, I'm really interested. One thing sure is that I had something in my mind when I imagined the pic, and the result is completely different as much in terms of style, technique and shadings. I do not have the necessary objectivity right now to determine if I like it or not at all.

Do not hesitate to tell me your opinion! 🍃

Again, I apologize for my inactivity this year. I have had weird times lately, and I'm still trying to focus on my real life experiences. I still love you all and hope you'll enjoy this new thing, from that damn irregular artist that I am.

Despite everything, I missed posting there for sure! Enjoy~

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

For the prompt list number one for David x reader just absolute fluff if u don't mind thank you ur writing is amazing btw

Awh thank you!😘 And thank you for requesting, I hope you like this!💜

1. "Did I ever tell about my first murder?" "What murder? You're innocent as fuck!"

----------------------------------

I sighed contendly as I turned over. The warm blanket wrapped around me, the faint candle light at the end of the room standing on the table next to the makeshift door. I didn't know the time, and in all honesty, I didn't care. I was beyond comfortable in my - well, our - bed, especially now that I realised that he still laid next to me.

I smiled as I cuddled up to him, pressing a soft kiss to his jawline. "Morning love."

"Evening, kitten," his voice was lower than usual. "Sleep well?"

I hummed. "You stayed. I could get used to waking up like this."

David chuckled. "It's been a while since I've used a bed for sleeping."

"Well, maybe you should just stay with me every night then. As practice, you know?"

"You would like that, hm?"

"What, waking up next to the man I love? No, I'd absolutely despise that. Absolutely hate it, now can you even think of that," I teased with a big grin.

We laid there for a while, him playing with my hair as I listened to his non-existent heartbeat. I sometimes felt like it was there, very faintly, but I could never be sure.

"Did I ever tell you about my first murder?" I spoke up after a while. His fingers stopped moving through my hair as he looked at me, a curious frown on his face.

"What murder? You're innocent as fuck!"

I giggled, nodding. "That, that is all just an act. I am a very real killer."

"Oh yeah? Who did you kill?"

I sat up, leaning on my arms and looked at him. "Not a who, but a what."

"What, did you kill a mosquito and feel bad afterwards?" He chuckled, causing some blood yo rush to my cheeks.

"No. I mean, I have done that, obviously, and I always do feel kind of bad - but that's not what I'm talking about."

"No? Tell me, kitten. What did you kill?"

"Just keep in mind that I was very young, okay?"

I laid back down, feeling his chest rumble as he laughed. "Sure thing, love."

"Okay, so the first time I murdered something, I was five years old."

"That's quite young to start the whole killing thing."

"I know right! Mom said it was not that weird, that it was just curiosity, but I am glad you agree."

"What did you kill?" David sounded just a tad bit impatient, causing me to grin.

"No, no, I got to tell it right! So, it was a very hot, very bright summer day, and I had just gotten my very own magnifying glass. And in our garden was this huge ant-nest. So many ants."

"You killed ants?"

"I burned them alive. That's what I did." I sounded somewhat regretful. In all honesty, I was. "I was a young kid, but honestly, someone should have told me not to do it?"

David laughed. "That's quite a story."

"I still feel bad."

"Those poor ants," David chuckled, causing me to finally laugh as well.

"Would it also work on vampires?" I wondered aloud.

"Let's not try that, shall we?"

"But I am curious now!"

"What happened to you being innocent?"

"That all disappeared when I confessed to my very first murder."

He grinned, kissing me softly. "Killer or not, you're still mine."

I smiled. "Are you getting soft?"

"For you? Always."

[neptune-scythe]

Do you ever think about how Kaz making sure Inej is reunited with her brother is so he doesn't have to deal with his own grief?

Hear me out

Obviously he cares about Inej and wants her to have her family back and that's his main focus, or at least his main focus consciously

But here's the thing

They're mirrors of each other. Two people who lost brothers, Kaz's is gone forever ... But inej's is still out there (probably). Now we all know Kaz has never dealt with his grief, and probably barely even acknowledges it, mostly because he doesn't know how. That's not something people just ... Know how to do, grief is a process and if you don't have a single other person to help you or even be the slightest bit supportive it's going to be nearly impossible to grieve in a healthy way. Let alone being in a constant state of survival mode having to watch your back all the time because you're a kid in a very dangerous place and pretty much ever single person is an enemy, or at least not someone trustworthy or helpful. But I hella digress my bad

My point is Kaz hasn't dealt with the loss of his brother (why have I not used his name once? Bitch idfk my bad Jordie you deserve better bestie), which was a meaningless death. And by that I mean Jordie didn't sacrifice himself for some cause, he wasn't a casualty of a greater issue ... He just died. Because that what people do.

And especially for a kid who's all alone with not a single soul left on the earth who gives a damn about him, that's a pretty tricky concept to grasp. That your whole world, the most imporant person in your life could just die ... Just be completely gone in a moment. Thus why Kaz immediately blames Pekka and devotes his life to revenge, even though Pekka was only indirectly involved in Jodie's death. But blaming Pekka gives his death a meaning, it means there's something he can do to make it mean something.

Once again super digressed from my main point whoopsieeee. Hope y'all are enjoying the wild ride of my thoughts rn (I'm literally just stream of consciousness writing this shit, and for shits and giggles imma leave it that way no edits this is a first draft post you're welcome)

N E WAY

Jodie's death WAIT A SECOND HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT AUTOCORRECTED TO JODIE 💀

I'll never know because I'm not rereading this shit

Anyway

JORDIE's death meant nothing, and Kaz's revenge on Pekka didn't give it meaning either ... Which he probably knew deep down that it wouldn't. But those are the kinds of thoughts we ✨silence✨ because we need the rage for vengeance to keep us alive and doing things.

Now back to Inej and Harij.

Reuniting them will for Kaz make his own situation mean something (in my opinion don't at me these my head canon thoughts). That even though he can't bring his own brother back, he can bring back hers. And knowing that they're together will make his own grief a little easier to bear. It balances it out, if you will.

Two brothers lost, one brother found. Good math

OK BUT ALSO HAVE YOU CONSIDERED

Harij is Inej's younger brother

So consider Kaz is doing it as much for him as for Inej. He's making sure another little boy (he's obviously not a little boy anymore but like ... He was 12 ((idk how old he'd be know)) and that's plenty young) doesn't have to lose his older sibling forever.

And also consider

Kaz knows he doesn't deserve Inej, he knows he most likely won't always have her ... And more importantly she won't always have him.

He won't always be able to protect her, to keep her safe. But her brother could. Her brother could be there for her and her support her and even do a far better job (probs idk what bros personality is like but I bet Kaz Brekker is assuming shit too) than Kaz could. So by reuniting her with her brother he's making sure she's taken care of, that even if he lets her down, she'll never be alone.

Because real talk her

Y'all are allowed to have your head canons and shit I am NOT gatekeeping

But canonically Kaz Brekker is not the jealous or possessive type. If Inej wanted to leave him for someone else he'd be upset yeah but he's knows full well Inej is a living Saint and worth far more than he could ever deserve in a billion lifetimes, and he's also far more concerned with her happiness and well-being than what she can provide for him.

So he'd be satisfied being away from her, not knowing a single thing about her life, as long as he knows her brother is there with her.

He doesn't need to take care of her, he just needs to know that she is taken care of.

I rest my case

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Thank you for coming to my TedTalk 🫡

(addition because I did actually reread it and damn I somehow forgot my entire point???

So yeah

About him using reuniting Harij and Inej as a way to avoid dealing with his grief.

It's like this

Brother dies

Kaz goes straight to revenge, never actually processes any of it, just jumps straight into making Pekka pay for it ... Which tbh is dealing with it in a sense but it's in a very passive way of going straight to doing without ever processing ... If that makes sense.

And that's repaying violence with violence, which leads to more violence. It's a cycle of destruction that Kaz is playing into, which is very hard to get out of once it starts.

But reuniting Harij and Inej is a break in that cycle. It's Kaz using his own pain as motivation and incentive to do something that will heal others. And making sure that neither Inej nor Harij get caught in the same cycle as Kaz did, it's using his own knowledge of that cycle to protect others from it. And more specifically, he doesn't know how to heal himself, he doesn't know how to move on or process and grieve, he doesn't know how to leave the cycle ... So he's helping Inej and Harij heal from their pain instead, and making sure they never enter the cycle.

Because he probably is well aware that revenge isn't the healthiest way to channel grief (but bro doesn't care because Pekka needs to be put in his place and we stan him for that), but channeling it into helping someone he loves is healthy.

And real talk here

Kaz probably believes he will never move on or heal from Jordie's death. Thus him being trapped in the ouroboros of suffering ... And go with me here.

If we view the ouroboros (snake eating its own tail if y'all don't know) as a literal scenario Kaz is trapped in, it's a mental prison basically, and one he has accepted that he will never leave. His fate is sealed, and he can't do anything to save himself from that.

BUT even if he can't ever break out of the ouroboros, he can keep others out, he can't save himself but he can save others from being trapped there as well.

And because of this he won't have to deal with the fact that he's trapped, he can focus all his energy on keeping others out ... And it gives it meaning. That even though he's trapped forever and can't do anything for himself, he can do something for other people because of it. Because the only way to avoid the ouroboros is if someone inside warns you.

That was a wild metaphor I hope that made sense lol

Also once again these are my head canons and I wrote it from Kaz's perspective so to speak, so when I say things like He cAn NEVer HeAl that's because that's what he thinks (imo) not what is objectively true. Healing is absolutely possible and bro can get it he just doesn't know it yet.)

[bratzkoo]

intro. second lead’s girlfriend

Author: bratzkoo | Credits to: @jintherapper​ for the banner Pairing: prince! jimin x duchess! reader Genre: angst, fluff, isekai Rating: 18+ Word count: 2.6k Warnings/note: it’s a product of my friends and i’s obsession with isekai-ng. isekai is basically being reincarnated but make it posh. 

summary: waking up to a different place. you began to realize you’re Prince Jimin’s betrothed that will die in the hands of a maid sent by an anonymous villain, this event will lead to him falling in love with the female lead and ultimately have his first real heartbreak. you will do your best to keep the both of you alive. you just need to break up with him, try to be the best wingman to him and the female lead, then live a happily ever after. so why would he always choose you?  taglist (hit me up if you wanna be added): @aretha170 , @jinniegenie , @mooniyooni  .@we8joon​ , @njrwifey​

requests are open, but you can just say hi! | masterlist

A sharp intake of breath escaped my lips as my eyes fluttered open, my surroundings slowly coming into focus. This was not the familiar sight of my bedroom ceiling, but rather an ornate canopy adorned with intricate embroidery. Panic began to set in as I took in the lavish furnishings that filled the room - the plush bedding, the ornate vanity, the heavy curtains that seemed to block out the world beyond.

Where was I? How had I ended up in this unfamiliar place? Am I dead? I'm dead, aren't I? God, if you can hear me... Tell my best friend to delete my search history or just make her hide my phone. My head started to hurt as the fog of sleep began to clear, fragments of memories started to surface. Recollections of a life that was not my own - a life of privilege, of duty, and that hot guy! This is not... I'm not... I hurriedly looked at myself in the mirror. I was not myself. I stared at the reflection of a young lady, supposed to be me, her flawless skin, her long hair, and her pretty face. Thank fuck, I'm gorgeous! Now, I'm pretty sure this is a dream and I know who this person is. I've read this book before. The person in the mirror is Lady Y/N, daughter of Duke Hansol and betrothed to Prince Jimin. Why this dream? Why this person? I'm pretty sure Lady Y/N died before the setting of the book started. I should've dreamt that I'm Lady Hana- the female lead. I tried to slightly tap my face to wake myself up, but to no avail I was still in this body. Ok, my dream is definitely fucking with me. I pinched myself REALLY hard in my forearm. "Holy f--!" That hurts. I started to panic a little bit at the thought that maybe I'm not dreaming. Is this one of those isekai shits, cause if it was, you got to be kidding me! I was never hit by a truck! Take me back! Take me back! Lady Y/N's character is the role I had never sought and one that now seemed to threaten my very existence. Lady Y/N is supposed to die, I don't want to die! Do I even have control of what's happening? Because my supposed death is the event that would be the catalyst leading to Prince Jimin's second heartbreak.

My breath caught in my throat as the gravity of the situation sank in. I was trapped in the pages of a story that I don't know if I have control over. If I don't find a way to survive and change my course of fate. Then my life is doomed. I got to do what I got to do. I have to do whatever it takes to myself alive, maybe do some wingwoman stuff and guide Prince Jimin to Lady Hana. I've always wanted him to get the girl.

I'm sorry, Author! I have to change the future a bit.

I don't want to die!

As I was still trying to process my new reality, a gentle knock on the door startled me out of my frantic thoughts.

"My lady? Are you awake? His Highness Prince Jimin requests your presence in the garden for breakfast," a soft voice called from the other side.

My heart raced. Prince Jimin? Already? I wasn't prepared for this! But I knew I had to face him sooner or later if I wanted to change the course of this story and since when did I live with him in one castle?

"Y-yes, I'll be right there," I called back, wincing at how shaky my voice sounded. Based on the memories inside my head, it's an arranged marriage and I'm pretty sure we're not in love.

I mindlessly rang the bell to call the maids to help me get ready. Thankfully, muscle memory seemed to kick in. My hands moved almost on their own as the maids dressed me in a beautiful pale blue gown that complemented my complexion perfectly. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what was to come.

As I made my way to the garden, my mind raced with possibilities. How should I act? What should I say? I needed to start distancing myself from him, but I couldn't be too abrupt or suspicious.

The moment I stepped into the sunlit garden, I saw him. Prince Jimin stood near a beautifully set table, his back to me as he admired some flowers. Even from behind, he was breathtaking - back view for days, perfectly styled hair, and an aura of regality that seemed to make the very air around him shimmer.

Then he turned, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The book hadn't done him justice. His eyes, warm and kind, lit up as they landed on me. A smile, gentle and inviting, spread across his face. His lips, fuck, he's prettier than me.

"Y/N," he said, his voice rich and melodious. "Good morning. I hope you slept well?"

For a moment, I forgot all about my plans to distance myself. I forgot about the danger I was in. I forgot everything except the way he was looking at me. Oh God, his face card.

"G-good morning, Your Highness," I managed to stammer out, dropping into what I hoped was a passable curtsy. "I... yes, I slept well, thank you."

He chuckled, the sound warming me from the inside out. "Please, Y/N. How many times must I ask you to call me Jimin when we're alone? We are to be married, after all."

The reminder of our engagement snapped me back to reality. Right. I had a mission. I couldn't let his charms distract me from staying alive and steering this story back on its proper course (without my death- of course!).

"Of course... Jimin," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Shall we have breakfast?"

As we sat down to eat, I couldn't help but steal glances at him. How was I supposed to push this man away? As we settled into our seats, Prince Jimin's eyes never left me. He reached for the teapot, his movements graceful and deliberate.

“Allow me to pour your tea, Y/N," he offered, his voice warm and inviting.

Ding! Ding! Ding! I swear this man graduated in the University of Green Flag Men. I started to hesitate, my mind racing. This may be the only chance to start creating some distance. "Oh, that's not necessary, Your High— I mean, Jimin. I can manage," I said, trying to keep my tone light but firm. A flicker of confusion passed over his face, but he recovered quickly, flashing me that heart-stopping smile. "Nonsense, I insist," he said, already filling my cup. "I enjoy taking care of you."

WHY?!

My heart skipped a beat at his words, but I reminded myself of my mission. I couldn't let his charm sway me.

"Thank you," I murmured, deliberately avoiding his gaze as I reached for a pastry. I took a bite of a chocolate macarons that instantly melted in my mouth. Author, I promise I won’t change the plot that much, I’ll even live my life just eating this macarons! "I thought we could spend the day together," Jimin suggested, his tone hopeful. "The royal gardens are particularly beautiful this time of year. Perhaps a picnic by the lake?" I nearly choked on my tea. A whole day alone with him? That was the opposite of what I needed. "Oh, I… I'm afraid I can't today," I stammered, my mind scrambling for an excuse. "I promised Lady Jihyun I would help her with… with her embroidery." Jimin's brow furrowed slightly. "Embroidery? I didn't realize you enjoyed such pursuits." "It's a… recent interest," I lied, inwardly cringing at how unconvincing I sounded. "I see," he said, a note of disappointment in his voice. He reached across the table, his hand covering mine. The touch sent a jolt through me, and I had to resist the urge to pull away too abruptly. "Y/N, is everything alright? You seem… distant this morning." I forced a smile, gently sliding my hand from beneath his. "Everything's fine, Jimin. I'm just… preoccupied with thoughts of my duties." "Your duties?" he echoed, looking perplexed. "Y/N, your only duty is to be yourself. That's all I've ever asked of you." His sincerity made my chest ache. Author, I might need him to not be so perfect. I begged of you if I need to push him away, I need every fiber of my body not want to jump this man.

“I appreciate that, truly," I said, trying to infuse my voice with a conviction I didn't feel. "But as your future… wife, I have responsibilities to consider. To the kingdom, to your family." Jimin leaned back, studying me with those intense eyes. "You've never spoken like this before, Y/N. What's changed?" I bit my lip, avoiding his gaze. "Nothing's changed. I'm just… growing into my role, I suppose." A tense silence fell between us. I could feel Jimin's eyes on me, searching for answers I couldn't give. Finally, he spoke, his voice soft but determined. "Y/N, look at me," he requested. Oh? Look at me, baby. This isn’t you.

Reluctantly, I met his gaze. "Whatever's troubling you, whatever doubts you're having, please know that you can talk to me. Our marriage may have been arranged, but I want us to have a good relationship. I want us to face everything together." His words were like a dagger to my heart. How could I explain that I wasn't really his Y/N? That I was an imposter trying to save my own life? "I… I need time, Jimin," I managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper. "To adjust, to… to be worthy of the role I'm to play." Jimin's expression softened. He reached for my hand again, and this time, I let him take it. "You are already worthy, Y/N. More than worthy. But if time is what you need, then time you shall have. Just promise me you won't shut me out completely." I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, as we finished our breakfast in silence.

As the days passed, I found myself caught in an intricate dance of avoidance and duty. Every shared meal, every stolen glance from Jimin, felt like a step closer to my impending doom. It didn't help that I don't know who or what killed me. I had to find a way to push him away, to make him see that our arranged marriage was a mistake.

I really can’t take the direct approach and ask him to cancel our engagement, as Y/N’s father… well my father now, he’s not going to like this.

I need to figure out another way that will end this engagement and not bring embarrassment to myself or my family, get this over amicably.

As I see Prince Jimin, approach me with a smile on his face and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. It took all of my self control not to face palm right there and there.

This fucking simp! Does he have feelings for Y/N? How will I live peacefully? Let me break the engagement pls pls pls!

As the days turned into weeks, I found myself growing increasingly desperate. No matter how hard I tried to distance myself from Jimin, he remained unfailingly kind and attentive. It was maddening, and I was running out of ideas. Then the King announced that there’s going to be a royal ball, a grand affair with nobles from all corners of the kingdom and in special attendance, my father. I wasn’t so hang up on the not embarrassing myself anyway, since the start of the book is almost coming to a close meaning my death sentence is right at the corner. I saw this as my chance to finally push Prince Jimin away for good and onto the arms of the female lead.

On the night of the ball, I put my plan into action. I arrived late, my hair in disarray and my gown deliberately wrinkled. Gasps and whispers filled the ballroom as I made my entrance, stumbling slightly for effect.

Jimin's eyes widened as he saw me, but to my frustration, his expression quickly softened into one of concern. He hurried to my side, gently taking my arm.

"Y/N, are you alright?" he murmured, his voice low enough that only I could hear. "You seem... unwell."

I forced a laugh, too loud and sharp. "Unwell? Nonsense! I'm having a wonderful time already!"

I pulled away from him, making my way to the refreshment table. With deliberate clumsiness, I knocked over a tray of glasses, sending crystal and champagne scattering across the floor.

"Oops!" I exclaimed, not bothering to hide my lack of remorse. Surely now, Prince Jimin would be furious, embarrassed by my behavior because even I was. Pls, God let this be over.

But when I turned to gauge his reaction, I found him already at my side, a gentle smile on his face as he addressed the shocked onlookers.

"No harm done," he said smoothly. "Accidents happen. Please, everyone, continue enjoying the ball." Fuck you, Prince Jimin! I really can’t with his kindness, I don’t need your understanding right now!

He turned to me, his eyes full of nothing but warmth. "Are you hurt, Y/N? Let's step outside for a moment, get some fresh air."

Frustration bubbled up inside me. Why wouldn't he just get angry? I allowed him to lead me to a secluded balcony, my mind racing for my next move.

"You must be feeling overwhelmed," Jimin said softly, once we were alone. "The pressures of court life can be daunting, I know. But please remember, you're not alone in this. I'm here for you, always."

His sincerity was like a physical ache in my chest. I turned away, unable to bear the kindness in his eyes.

"You don't understand," I muttered. "I'm not... I'm not who you think I am."

Jimin's hand on my shoulder was gentle but firm. "You're Y/N," he said simply. "The woman who is going to be my wife and I care for your well being. Nothing else matters."

I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back tears. This was all wrong. He wasn't supposed to care. He was supposed to fall for Lady Hana, not waste his affection on someone who wasn't even the real Y/N.

"Let's return to the ball," Jimin suggested after a moment. "We'll face it together. And if you want to leave early, just say the word."

As we reentered the ballroom, I caught sight of our reflection in a gilded mirror. Jimin, ever regal and composed, and me, a disheveled mess beside him. Yet the way he looked at me, you'd think I was the most precious thing in the world.

I realized then that my plan had backfired spectacularly. Instead of pushing Jimin away, I'd only drawn him closer. And worse, I was beginning to understand why the real Y/N wanted to get married to him.

As we moved through the crowd, Jimin's hand a steady presence at the small of my back, I knew I needed a new strategy. Because with every passing moment, every kind word and gentle touch, I was falling deeper into a trap of my own making.

And I had no idea how to escape.

[the-old-mayhem]

I really appreciate that you avoid answering a lot of the speculative questions you get! A lot of people seem to forget that these are real people we're talking about - young men who actually lived and who have family members who are still very much alive! Pelle and Øystein are not fictional characters; we can't just decide their histories. It's normal to be intrigued by them as celebrities but it feels really distasteful when people just gossip and make baseless conclusions, so honestly, thank you for not doing that!! Best Mayhem blog, seriously

Thank you 😭🙏

I often feel like I am maybe talking too much or that I am crossing the line of good taste. Because I simply don't know, and can't know, what their families would consider as "too much".

For example, I asked Anders if he is ok with me putting his father's gravestone on info page and I was like "I censored the name, no worries!! I was just wondering if it's disrespectful?", and he legit looked at me like I'm crazy and said that it's far from disrespectful.

But the thing is, it's very individual. I am sure Øystein's family wouldn't be that forgiving or open. And it's tricky, we are kinda constantly walking on eggshells when discussing their private matters.

I gotta mention something Anders told me: he said how almost every time, after few messages, fans ask if Pelle was a virgin. Please, for the love of god, even if you are 14, you should be old enough to know that such questions are highly inappropriate and intrusive 💀

Don't do that shit

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

LMAO, I knew I could count on Imperial Tutor Yu! 😂

***

I am cackling 🤣🤣

Honestly, I think Yanran is too stupid to live and I have no love for this character, but the grandparents are great!

***

Screaming at all these idiotic maids!

If they were in the Qi household, they would all be dead by now.

***

LMAOOOO, the way he jumped up like his ass was on fire 🤣🤣

It seems like she severely miscalculated her odds here.

***

Oh, yes, keep digging your grave 🙄

***

I honestly can't stand her.

All she does is cry and look shocked and bewildered, and then runs to Minglan to solve her problems for her, starting from fixing her shitty embroidery, to reclaiming her dead mother's belongings that she didn't take proper care of to begin with, to advocating for her on huge matters such as that of HER OWN MARRIAGE.

Like, grow a spine. Grow a brain. Learn some life skills (like locking up precious possessions, for example 🙄). And if you can't? THEN SUFFER.

The idea of her with Gu Tingye gives me so much ick and not just because his plan is gross and he is deliberately going after her because she is weak and stupid. The very concept of such a strong, intelligent and capable man with this wet rag of a woman makes me break out in hives.

***

And the way they start playing sad, pitiful music every time she shows up on screen, I cannot 🙄🙄

***

No, you don't understand, Tutor Yu!

It was raining that day, so the ground was slippery! And he just... slipped and fell! Onto Manniang! And his dick just went into her vagina! But like... by accident! Because of the dick-to-vagina homing system that is activated in all young men when they are in the vicinity of a prostitute! It was not his fault at all! And then she was pregnant. And had a baby! And then it happened again! And she had another baby! But it was the circumstances, Tutor Yu! Not his doing at all! Please understand! 🙏🙏

***

Are you not ashamed of speaking such blatant lies?

The only reason you're after this particular woman is because she's too weak to stop you from bringing your mistress and illegitimate kids into your marital home!

***

LMAOOOOOO

WHAT IS SHE DOING??? IS SHE TRYING TO SABOTAGE THIS MARRIAGE? BITCH, HE IS DOING THIS FOR YOU!! YOU WILL NEVER BE A FIRST WIFE, GET REAL.

Because even though the grandparents agreed after his pitiful act, THEY AGREED BECAUSE HE SAID THERE WOULD BE NO SECOND WIFE! With her here making a scene at their house, this match is doomed.

***

LMAO, bitch what.

LOL, I love the response "You're completely alive already." Like, shut up.

***

You fucking moron. You imbecile. You deserve every second of being made a fool of because you have a spine of jelly. SAY NO. JUST SAY FUCKING NO. LET HER FUCKING KNEEL, SHE WILL GET UP AS SOON AS HER KNEES GET TIRED. OR BETTER YET, WHEN YOUR PARENTS GET HOME, HAVE HER DRAGGED AWAY. UGH, THIS MAKES ME ANGRY.

***

Good. You are not fit for life.

***

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T CHASE HER AWAY?

I'm pretty certain there is some form of law enforcement here that will very much get rid of her for you, especially since she is a literal nobody, making a scene and dragging the reputation of a well-off house. Let her try this at Gu manor and see how it goes! Oh, wait, she did! And it went as well for her there as it could be expected, lol, she almost got her and her daughter's asses sold into slavery, smh.

[inkskinned]

there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.

it is harder.

it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.

it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?

it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister

on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving

it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.

i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.

it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

RK AU Idea: the Brawling Bakers, Hazel and Gretchen

Hmmm. Good basis, but ...

~~~~~

Blake: It's the Witch of the Yeast!

The tall, broad shouldered woman rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck, slinging her heavy crossbow over her shoulder

The Witch: Aye. You four are new. Are you looking for the way out?

Weiss: Yes.

The Witch: Well, I know part of the path. Unfortunately I don't know where the exit is either.

The Witch: You all must be hungry. Come. How did you find your ways to this place, Anyways?

Yang: *Thinking she looks somewhat familiar* We used magic to make bridges from Atlas to Vacuo, we got knocked off by some bad guys and now we're here.

The Witch: So you know of the Relics? Dah. I was supposed to be one of those Maidens. I got attacked by some Scorpion faunus, my Semblance went crazy and I found myself here.

Ruby: You were supposed to be a maiden?

The Witch: Yes. Given you aren't flying, none of you are?

Ruby: N-No ... Um. One of our friends from Beacon - do you know Beacon academy?

The Witch: Know It? I was top of my class! But, About your friend ... I can guess where that story ends. Where Their Story ends.

Weiss: Yes, and it's ... It's happened twice. Both of them gave themselves t protect as many as they could - to keep the powers out of another's hands.

The Witch: Well, I'm sorry ... That's horrid to hear. Y'all are real strong to keep pushin' on when they're gone.

Blake: You seem pretty young for someone from a Hundred-fifty year old book - but also was on remnant long enough to go to Beacon.

The Witch: Dah, that's the Ever After for you. I just miss my brother.

Weiss: You had a brother?

The Witch: Aye. his Name was hazel. Strong little one, all we had was each other growing up. I can only hope he's alive and well.

Yang: *Stops walking* H-hazel? You Disappeared listening to Ozpin?

The Witch: *halts, turns to Yang* Aye? What about it.

Yang: Is your name "Gretchen Rainart?""

Gretchen: ... You've met my brother? He's alive!?! IS he alright?!?

Yang: I- I- *Deep Breathe* I don't know how much you know about Ozpin's history, but he was fighting an Immortal Witch - someone named Salem. She is very strong, and very dangerous. Me and my friends were in trouble and he ... He saved us. he got us out of there.

Gretchen: ... Ah .... That ... That hurts to hear ... I am happy he did good with his life ... But that ... I haven't expected to see him again, but to know ...

Yang: I'm sorry.

Gretchen: No, don't be. It is better I know now that later. I- Let us keep moving ... I need to ... think ... about that.

[mosneakers]

Brick's Spooky Day party is in full swing. The atmosphere is alive with laughter and merriment and dancing under the full moon light. Occasional howls emanating from the thick woods of Moonwood Mill, and the deep pulsating beat of the eerie spooky-themed music, send waves of anxiety-induced nausea through Skye Darling's tummy. She considers leaving early.

Selene dances entrancingly around the grassy field as if no one's watching, yet every movement is calculated to capture Lou's feral attention. Their eyes occasionally meet, and with each glance a magnetic pull intensifies. Lou, torn between the painful rumors of her involvement with Brick Darling, and the irresistible force pulling him closer, as if the moon itself is guiding him, decides to push aside his uncertainties and finally say something to her.

Lou: Love the costume...

Selene: [Chuckles] Thanks. You make a pretty convincing pizza boy, yourself! I thought mine was a little on the nose, actually. Lou: Nah, it's perfect—it's very fitting, hah. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for inviting us, by the way. Selene: Hey, thank Brick. It was all his idea. I just helped him set it all up. He's really trying to build bridges between the communities.

Lou: [Nods gently] Right, I'll be sure to do that. Well whoever's idea it was, I'm glad I made it out, this is a nice party. Looks good. Selene: [Smiles] It's good to see you, Lou— Lou: —Good to see you too. Real good. You look happy. I'm glad you found someone to make you happy, Lenie.

Selene: What? You mean Brick? [Laughs] No, I'm not -with- Brick. We just help each other out from time to time. But we're just friends. In fact, Brick's on a mission to find his fated mate, and I'm supposed to be his wing-wolf tonight, haha.

Lou's eyes widen impulsively. A stifled, shaky exhale of relief slips passed his lips and and a broad grin appears as he tries to play it cool.

Lou: Oh! Cool, cool. Very cool. And how's that going?

Meanwhile, on the other side of the empty grassy lot, Wolfegang approaches Brick with a curious grin. Wolfegang: Hey big guy. [Hearty pat on shoulder] Nice party. Brick: Ayy, thanks man! Glad you could make it. Your costume is siiick. You make a way better pizza guy than Lou's version. Wolfegang: [Blinks slowly] Thanks, brother. Hey, quick question. That young lady hanging out with your cousin... I don't believe I've had the honor of meeting her... Happen to know her name? Brick: Oh her? That's Janie. [Cocks eyebrow] Pretty, huh?

Wolfegang: Pretty? Brick, please, my brother in Wolfhood... [clears throat] From the moment I caught but a glimpse of her eyes in pale moonlight, as she twirled with a carefree and insouciant charm, I found myself ensnared in an irresistible magnetic pull, a force from which I am yet to break free. Her scent alone has my head spinning. I simply cannot be any more clear, I have never encountered a woman like her in all of my years. Brick, my lupine comrade, forgive my directness, but I must inquire: Is she a romantic interest of yours? Your fated mate, perhaps?

Brick: ... I don't know yet, dude. I haven't tested things out with her to get that "special feeling" everyone keeps talking about. Wolfegang: I would hate to step on your toes, friend, but I would be forever grateful to you, if you could introduce me to this enigmatic soul. Brick: [Laughter] Bro what? Why you so worried about stepping on my toes? I wore my work boots. But yeah dude, I can introduce you. You always this weird when you make a new friend?

[ramspatula]

Carnations | Cole Brookstone x fem!reader

Cole Brookstone was a normal guy. Yes he may be built like an ox and almost a foot taller than me but he went to the gym a lot and bodybuilding was his hobby. And ghosts don’t exist. And I’m not crazy.

Masterlist, Next part

Carnations symbolise love, captivation and distinction. There also just flowers. Plants, sometimes weeds. A lot of women put them in their bouquets for their wedding and then have them flattened and put into a frame so they'll never die and stay forever alive and young. The carnations I'm currently staring at are pink. Like almost every other flower they also come in different colours like white, red, yellow, and scarlet. You can dye them different colours too. I only know this much about the flower because of an old customer.

I started working at the little corner shop about a year ago and every Sunday morning when I got stuck with the early shift, an elderly woman would come into the shop to pick up her newspaper. And every time she'd come in with a singular pink carnation from the florist across us. She'd always be wearing a little pastel felt hat covering her white hair. The hat always matched with whatever pastel outfit she had chosen to wear. The first time I saw her she offered me a smile and asked me:

"Do you know what flower this is, Dear?"

"No, sorry."

"It's a carnation, and it's pink. That's why I chose it."

"It's pretty."

"Indeed, flowers tend to be."

Then she'd take her newspaper and leave. I never thought of it as anything special at the time until she came back the next Sunday and again asked me:

"Do you know what flower this is, Dear?"

"Yes, it's a carnation."

"Have I told you this before?"

"Yes, last Sunday. I remember."

"It seems my old mine is slipping now. Acting it's age, I'd say!"

"I also said they're pretty."

"Well, flowers tend to be."

And again the next Sunday she'd come into the shop and again she'd ask me:

"Do you know what flower this is, Dear?"

"I believe it's a carnation."

"Yes! Well done, my Dear. My mother once dyed them for my wedding bouquet."

"That one is pink."

"Indeed but they grow in different colours such as white, red, yellow, and scarlet."

"All pretty colours."

"Flowers tend to be, my Dear."

I began looking forward to seeing her on Sundays, waiting for the faithful question.

"Do you know what flower this is, Dear?"

"A pink carnation but they also come in different colours."

"Indeed, they have a wonderful symbolism too."

"Is that so?"

"Love, captivation and distinction, my Dear."

"Pretty."

"Flowers tend to be, my dear."

Even now when it's already over, I can't help myself from waiting for her every Sunday.

"Do you know what flower these are, Dear?"

"They're pink carnations and have a wonderful symbolism."

"I bought two for some estranged reason, I am only in need of one."

"I'm sure you could house two of them."

"No, my dear. I cannot. You must take one!"

"Are you sure?"

"I insist, my dear!"

"Thank you, it's very pretty."

"Flowers tend to be, my dear and so are you."

I never saw her again after that day. I put the flower into a small glass frame and squashed it between the frames before hanging it up in my room. It felt too special to ever let go. I say I squashed it but I got my best friend 'Peach' to do it for me. I thought I'd accidentally destroy it something ridiculous. 'Peach' isn't her real name by the way but it's been years and no one else has called her anything else. I'm not sure if anyone else knows her actual name? She ended up getting together with this guy named Lloyd Garmadon. His Dad used to be an evil overlord? I don't know what that was about or how he's walking about freely now? Peach told me not to ask about it and that he had pure evil inside him that was cured by his fight with the green ninja. The ninja were a massive thing here in Ninjago city, well ninjago as a whole. They had dragons that appeared out of no where and these crazy 'powers' that basically made them super-humans. They're vigilantes technically. I once ran into a ninja, the Earth ninja.

It was a late night, I was coming home from a party where a lot of underage "activities" took place. I couldn't see straight let alone walk straight. I fell into a bush. Don't ask. I got mud all down the outfit I was wearing and I laid there, sobbing. At that moment, I felt like shit until I heard his voice.

"Miss, are you okay?"

"What, are you fucking stupid?"

"I-"

"Am I fucking okay? Be so fucking for real."

"You're drunk."

"Leave me the fuck alone."

"Listen, I'm a ninja I'll get you home."

"How do you know where I live, perv?"

"If you've been drinking then you have an ID on you."

"An ID?! I am side-eying you so hard right now."

"You can't even look straight right now."

"Yeah because I'm side-eyeing you."

"Let's take you home."

He was practically a giant. An absolute ox of a man just like my personal harassment case, Cole Brookstone. The 6'7 body builder with the outgrown black hair that he sometimes tied into a man bun. I met him over a year ago at Peach's birthday party, Lloyd had introduced us and the whole night was spent laughing together and talking shit about every one we didn't like at said party. I hadn't laughed with a guy like that before, it's fair to say he was on my mind the rest of the night and next couple weeks after that. Peach and Lloyd had been together for years and always succeeded in making me feel like absolute shit with how much they loved each other. I once climbed in bed between them. That's a long story I don't care to explain.

"You like the flowers?" Cole asked, leaning practically over the counter. His body was bent and his arms were crossed, leaning on the counter.

"Yes, I do. Thank you." I replied, giving him a little smile.

"Do you know what flower they are?" He asked and I smiled to myself.

"Yes actually, they're pink carnations." I told him and heard him chuckle.

"My Grandma always use to buy a singular carnation before she passed, she never told me why but my Dad said she'd been doing it ever since my Grandpa died."

"I remember."

"What?"

"Your Grandma always came into this shop right after to pick up her newspaper. I didn't know she passed, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be sorry, she went peacefully. Plus it was a while ago."

"Really? She only stopped coming in about 6 months ago. I remember she always got the same newspaper! 'Ninjago Daily'. I remember because it was the only newspaper that didn't have Garmadon on the front!"

"Y/n, she's been dead 14 years now plus 'Ninjago Daily went bust about 20 years ago, before we were born."

"No, I specifically remember she got that paper and she always wore those little felt pastel hats!"

"Yeah, sounds like her but trust me she's gone and I only know the paper went bust because my Dad lost all his shares in the paper and I've been hearing about it for the past 19 years I've been alive."

"Well ghosts must exist then."

"I think you're just crazy."

"Cole."

"That's a better explanation than ghosts."

A cold shiver ran its way down my body as he left. Ghosts don't exist, right?

[youngpeachenthusiast]

this is going to be a post about my experience with my gender identity and there's definitely going to be some (a lot of) oversharing so uh... more under the cut??

sometimes i find myself reflecting on how my identity came to be, and the more i think about it, the more i think my mom is very wrong when she says there were "absolutely no signs".

while throughout my childhood i did present very femininely, i remember that ever since i was a little boy i secretly was convinced that one day i would literally just grow a penis. i understood that there was some kind of difference between the genitalia of boys and my own, but i thought it was simply a matter of time and my very own penis would grow in its own time. i started puberty very early on and when my clitoris started enlarging i thought "this is it, it's finally happening".

needless to say it didn't happen. and when a few months later we got our very first sex ed and i learned that i was inevitably going to become a young lady, well... i was devastated. i remember crying on multiple occasions to my mother because i desperately didn't want to go through puberty. having real proper panic attacks about it. i remember the first time a friend commented on my breasts coming in. i remember trying to bind with a headband only to be caught and punished by my mother. i remember getting my first period and doing everything in my power to hide it from her, because as long as she didn't know i could still close my eyes and cover my ears and pray that it would just go away.

even not taking the relationship with my body into account, i was changing my name multiple times a month because mine didn't fit, and i just couldn't figure out what was going on.

all of this long before i even knew that something such as being transgender existed.

i was 13 when i first met a transgender person. as soon as i saw them and i learned who they were, i knew the answer. that was me. that had always been me, indubitably.

it took some time before i actually accepted that in no way i could ever stay alive and be a woman at the same time. when i finally did, that's when my life started getting better. years and years of self hatred found their answer in something so trivial as being a man.

so i think of my mother, who argues that "there were no signs" and still refuses to refer to me by my name and pronouns because she's convinced i'll change my mind (after five years of very much not changing my mind), and i do not know how to feel.

there were so, so many signs. i'm not sure i would even call them signs, it was just me existing after all.

and sure, early signs don't matter and i can still be trans even if nothing pointed to it in the slightest in the past. but also. the signs were there, and i'm very tired of pretending they were not.

i don't know why i'm here posting about all of this. discussing my early view of genitalia and all. i suppose i'm just looking for someone like me, who will make me feel less alone. the "girly girl" who always kept so much of his discomfort to himself.

i am honestly amazed that human beings can experience this kind of feelings over their body and social constructs and... everything, really. it does hurt like hell, sure. but it is incredible how deep of an experience i can have with something as simple as an organ of my body.

anyway. thanks for reading my oversharing. or whatever. goodnight!