#but it's comforting to have a plausible explanation either way

[shenzuul]

[image id: Ashelin turns to Seem and says, “Wait, Jak is Mar? The Mar?”]

I finally have an alternate explanation for this line at the end of Jak 3 that lets me off the hook. I’d always thought that the only way to interpret this is that, through time travel shenanigans, Jak is the same Mar that founded Haven City. But I’ve finally fucking remembered that even though we never get a detailed backstory, Ashelin canonically knew Damas even before the events of Jak 3 took place. Ashelin is the one who passes Jak a Wasteland beacon when he gets exiled, and when they meet up again later, she tells Jak that she knew Damas would find him. That means there’s a good chance that Ashelin knew Damas had lost a son named Mar--and what she might mean here is, “Jak is Damas’ missing child? The one I thought was only like, five years old?”

[emthimofnight]

Man, I've the somewhat urge to create Sonadow kids myself, 😅 but kinda hard to be original since a lot of people use similar designs.

DO IT!!!! I support you completely!!! ❤️❤️❤️

And I sympathize!! When I was designing Stellar, I recognized I had 20 years worth of Sonadow fankids to try and stand out from. 😂 By no means an easy task!

I think deciding what you want out of the fankid is a good place to start. I, personally, really like trying to make my fankids seem plausible. When I make them, I want to create unique silhouettes, color palettes, and character motivations that fall in line with existing Sonic media. Like, I knew from the beginning I wanted Stellar to be recognizable as a Sonadow fankid, but I also wanted her to be her own character. This is what inspired the cosmic/star theme and the government experiment backstory. I also wanted her to have a unique racing mechanic like both of her dads, so I made her a figure skater!

So, look inside yourself and ponder: what do YOU want to get out of creating a fankid? For example, I have a lot of friends and mutuals who are really comforted by the idea of either Sonic or Shadow being trans, and they incorporate that into their fankid AUs! I have others who are really into sci-fi as a genre, and they like exploring Shadow's alien DNA as an explanation for how a child might come about! These are just a few examples of ways you can make your story/fankid unique to you!

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

Omg that last ask got me thinking. Would dick ever amputate a limb or paralyze his darling to keep them with him? Perhaps as a very last resort if none of his other efforts work out? I imagine if he did it would only make his coddling worse because now his darling is actually helpless in many ways without range of movement.

𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐙𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐁𝐒…

!!! GN reader, surgical paralysis/amputation, brief mentions of an operation (a DIY operation, yippee), manipulation, gaslighting(?), drugging, extreme infantilizing.

That’s horrifying, I love it so much.

I gave this a LOT of thought, and you know what? I think there’s a chance he’d actually go this far. Dick Grayson is the type of yandere that snowballs into madness; thoughts that would’ve made him sick to his stomach months ago seem more and more rational as his fears and paranoia get the best of him. It’s definitely a last resort, but one that’s for your own good.

(Because everything he does is for your own good…)

Honestly, I’m torn between paralysis and amputation. There’s probably a higher chance of him paralyzing you than amputation, as it would raise less eyebrows from onlookers (despite completely limiting your contact with the outside world, he still has the heart to take you outside), but that entirely doesn’t rule out amputation!! Both options are plausible.

I think that amputation is the better option cuz A.) it’s the freakier option, and B.) I love the idea of him chaining you to the bed by securing some caplike cuff over your nubs, so…

A humane operation is the only option. An IV being slipped into your arm while you sleep, a consistent moderation of anesthesia into your bloodstream, only the most careful cuts and incisions… you may wanna consider yourself lucky that your captive has the foresight to do the necessary research. The whole procedure goes without a hitch, and you eventually wake up with either no feeling in your legs, or just no legs at all. And of course he’d be there by your side to help you through the shock.

Now, I toyed with the idea of him possibly convincing you beforehand that something was wrong with your legs. Maybe he’d put on his best concerned act as he asks if they feel okay, doing an assessment over them and grimacing at what he “sees.” He’d continue this for weeks, pretending the condition of your legs was only getting worse as he’d ask things like, “are you sure you don’t feel any pain?” Eventually, he may actually convince you that something was wrong, so waking up one day after his operation wouldn’t be as shocking… but I personally don’t like that idea as much.

Instead, I think there would be no build up to this. You went to sleep one night, and then the morning came with no feeling in/no legs at all. There might be a possibility of him making up some sort of lie; something about an accident, sprinkle in some crocodile tears and soft hints that it was because “you didn’t listen to him,” and voila. Solid enough story, I guess. But I’m in love with the idea of him initially offering no explanation at all. Then, when you finally get over the shock to ask what happened, he’d simply answer with something along the lines of, “it had to be done,” leaving you to put the horrific pieces together on your own.

If you fuck with the amputation option, then it should be noted that he gives you the proper medication to make sure nothing gets infected. This ain’t the Civil War, you’re not getting some nasty ass disease on Dick’s watch.

The coddling would certainly get worse after this. And you it’s not like you have any other choice, either. If he didn’t already lock you away in his room, you’re now stuck in there for sure until he gets home. He carries you around the apartment, making sure you’re comfortable wherever he sets you down and, yes, putting you through the humiliation of helping you go to the bathroom (he’d reassure you that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, but that somehow makes you feel worse).

Going out in public might already be a rare occurrence, but now it seems to be limited to once a month, or even a couple months, as he doesn’t want to risk anything happening to you in your current state. However, as mentioned before, he still has the heart to take you outside. So he uses a wheelchair; one he’s owned for a while, if we’re going off of the last ask. But he’d probably continue to drug you before going out, just as a precaution.

This is… not the most ideal outcome… by any means. It’s best that you never lead him to believe this has to be done, and if it’s too late, then I suggest you act as good as possible; you don’t want him taking your arms away from you, too.

If I write a small blurb about this in the future, it’s gonna be the amputation option. SUE ME.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I know you (and Yves himself lol) likes to keep alot of his EARLY past (like childhood) vague or perhaps that’s just not something that we’ve really explored as apart of his character but even though it’s been implied that he was raised impoverished, I get the vibe that he was actually born into wealth.

Like I remember you talking about how one or perhaps one of his parents shares some of the same traits as him in terms of child rearing so there’s a chance that through a series of unfortunate events, he was probably thrown into poverty instead of always existing in such a state. Possibly as punishment or perhaps his parent(s) just didn’t want him around and literally threw him to the streets to fend for himself. I find that this would add onto the “fall from Grace” flop era humiliation factor of his past.

Also it’s shown that he has this very convincing and natural old money essence and air around him, to the way he speaks, moves, and even eats his food. I notice that a lot of people who weren’t raised in such environments but eventually gain wealth, never seem to truly fit into old money circles and often times are socially ostracized because it’s painfully obvious that they aren’t as blue-blooded as them.

But at the same time, he did have literal DECADES to perfect himself so him being born into poverty could be plausible (just not as plausible to me, imo) but I’m just zhe reader, what do I know lol.

Anyways I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Love your work

AOugh SHIT ANON BIG BRAIN IDEA 💡

YES omg u helped me connect the dots, yes its like the best explanation as to how Yves got his child abuse ideas from, and his experience with literal conversion camps.

Like he gained sentience after being out of that family, unclear whether he escaped or was exiled because i love to keep stuff a mystery, and found out he easily falls for tricks and was pretty dumb and have no idea what to do.

Literally decades of flopping so hard trained his slay muscle till he's buff and gets out of his hellhole, hence although he reeks of old money, he could naturally and fluidly adapt to impoverished lifestyles. He may dislike certain things, but NOTHING makes him squeamish

Like he fr dealt with the most disgusting things on earth and its just another tuesday for him to be covered in shit, piss, puke, blood, cum, rot, guts, decomposing materials, dick cheese, worms, maggots etc

Either thru one of his barbie jobs or like thru his flop era

But yet he still acts like an aristocrat cause he cant fully get rid of his roots, and it gives him comfort to know his flop days are behind him, like this is the type of essence where you JUST gotta be born with

So yeah these r my thoughts , thank you sm for the connection ily anon it really helps to better Yves's lore

Other relevant links

Do NOT meet him when he young he will shank you frfr

Is yves mentally okay

His flop era

Eating disorder galore

[blanketforcas]

A guide to real-person shipping and tinhatting

Most of this can be applied to general tinhatting but I will mainly be focusing on RPS and using examples from cockles fandom. This is based on my experience and what I’ve personally come across. Examples I use are merely illustrative and not meant as shade to anyone.

Let’s get some ethics of rps out of the way first

*disclaimer: this is what I would advise, I know opinions on this do vary

Try to keep it off main as much as possible (ie twitter, tiktok). You can’t always escape the algorithm, some stuff does get seen by the actors. Every actor’s comfort level with this is different, but as a general rule let's say tinhatting stays on tumblr or group chats

Try to avoid stating something as truth unless you’re quoting the actors

This goes without saying, but don’t ever mention the ship to the actors and if they bring it up themselves, don’t forget that’s not a free pass to just say whatever

Now, moving on to some pitfalls and tips

Do some basic research

Is this tweet/post reflecting the truth? Do multiple sources confirm this? Is there video? What was the context? What is happening right before and right after this particular moment? Does that change how you think about it?

When you see a picture you haven’t seen before, are you sure it’s not a manip? Use reverse image search and if nothing comes up, try to look up the event using key words to see if you can find the picture. If it’s hard to find and friends can’t help you either, it’s probably a manip. Obviously also look for signs within the picture itself (strange lines/different lighting on one person/missing limbs etc)

Are you projecting?

We all do it! It’s normal, just try to be aware when you’re doing it. Sometimes actors might indeed be similar to you when it comes to [whatever your theory is about], sometimes not at all. Fact remains you’re more likely to run with it when it’s something you do or feel yourself. Try to ask some friends what they would do/how they would react and maybe you’ll find out it’s less common or obvious than you think.

Confirmation bias is one hell of a drug

It’s surprising how easily a pattern can be found if you actively try to find one. Try to keep thinking critically: do I too quickly add something to the list of evidence because I really want my theory to be true? Does it really belong in that pile or could there be another reason why X happened the way it did?

The more effort it requires to make your theory sound plausible, the less likely it is to be true

Does it need a lot of explanation? Are you having to find a lot of excuses when an alternative explanation is presented? Are there inconsistencies in your theory that are difficult to explain away?

These are all red flags and should make you question the validity of your theory.

You as a fan are always going to be far more invested than any of these actors will ever be

Whether it’s about the show they are on or their social media behaviour, you will always care more and inevitably find details that weren’t put there intentionally.

No, the actors aren’t constantly leaving clues about the show you love (“you’re not crazy” tweets aside) in their everyday posts, they are just living their lives and sharing it.

And no, actors aren’t hiding secret and very obscure messages in their posts about how their relationship is real. They will simply quote Casablanca on the other person’s birthday and assume you get the memo

Remember they aren’t as obsessed with us as we are with them

This ties into the previous point about hiding secret messages. It’s a consequence of parasocialising which is something I talk about later in this guide.

Actors may or may not care a lot about us as people/as a fandom, and sometimes they do like to play with us in a general lowkey sense, but they aren’t looking for a “special” group of people who Get It. They aren’t putting in the time and effort to find a way to communicate with us on some secret code level. An example within cockles fandom I’ve seen is the stoplight system (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, this was an idea proposed by a fan via text messages that Misha could use red/yellow/green to communicate how loud we could be about cockles – the day after, the official Gish account’s activity was seen as possible confirmation Misha actually adopted the method).

Which leads me to my last point:

Watch out for conspiracy thinking

I know, I know. It’s kind of in the name. Tinhatting implies some sort of conspiracy, but this is a bit too simple when it comes to RPS and especially cockles – where you have two people who make a lot of references themselves and like to have fun with it. There’s different levels of tinhatting one can do, my goal is just to try to make you more aware of some of the red flags and pitfalls that I’ve mentioned throughout this post.

Okay maybe one final point about mental health

You’re more susceptible to falling for some of these things if you’re parasocialising hard. It’s something we are all familiar with because how else did we end up in this dumpster in the first place?

It doesn’t need to be problematic – it’s almost inevitable and comes with being a fan. With tinhatting It’s important to check in with yourself from time to time how much you care about a particular theory and why you find it so important.

More generally when you find yourself spending more and more time in these fandom spaces – ask yourself if there’s something else you’re avoiding or feelings you’re repressing that need to be dealt with. Reach out to friends (those can and do include the people you spend all that time discussing RPS with), try to distance yourself a bit etc. Take a step back if needed.

With all that being said, you can still do whatever you want and make your own judgement. I just hope this can help at least one person to be more cognizant of how they engage with RPS. I know I’ve personally fallen for some of the traps and I learned and still learn along the way.

Yes, this is a little bit silly, it’s a silly subject matter. The reason I care so much and wrote this guide anyway, is not just because I like tinhatting to be believable (cause I do, I can’t deny that) but also because a lot of these critical thinking skills are helpful in for example preventing people from falling for actually dangerous conspiracy theories, cults and cult-like group structures, and toxic relationships.

Now I feel like I ended on such a serious note but I want to emphasise of course the most important part of RPS is to have fun – and this is hopefully just a tiny toolbox for when you want to do more of a deep dive.

Happy rps'ing!

[madbard]

Ralsei’s True Appearance

There are so many fantastic and weird Deltarune headcanons floating around out there, and in this post I want to discuss one of my personal favorites - that Ralsei’s appearance as revealed at the end of Chapter 1 is not actually his real appearance, but rather another disguise to make himself more palatable for the Lightners.

Now, there is some meta textual explanation for having the face reveal at the end of Chapter 1 instead of the beginning. First of all, it lets Ralsei be his own character for a bit without being instantly categorized as “Deltarune Asriel.” It keeps Ralsei from stealing the spotlight during his lore-dumping section (I suspect many players would be just a little distracted by the Asriel doppelgänger). It also gives the game some plausible deniability with everyone’s reactions to the Asriel resemblance.

I’ll explain that last point a little - once Ralsei removes his hat, it is clear that Susie recognizes him. But she doesn’t really confront him about it, doesn’t demand to know why he looks like Toriel (I’m not sure she’s met Asriel). I’ve stumbled across a good deal of people saying that her reaction to him is actually kind of underwhelming, that it doesn’t make sense for her to basically accept it and move on. I would argue that this happens because by this point, she’s actually gotten to know Ralsei. She’s fought with him and beside him, learning a bit about who he is, what makes him tick. They’ve bonded, and seeing his face doesn’t undo that bond: whereas at the beginning of the game she probably wouldn’t have been able to see anything but a weird Toriel lookalike, now she sees Ralsei first, the Toriel resemblance second. It’s also not impossible for one person to closely resemble another even if they aren’t related, allowing Susie to explain this resemblance to herself as just ‘one of those things’ instead of having it thrown in her face right at the beginning, when there is no way she could have accepted it.

So, we have the meta textual explanation for why Ralsei has a different design for most of the game. Of course, canonically the face reveal is portrayed as Ralsei becoming more comfortable with being his true self around the party. And this works - with the time he’s spent with the others, it would make sense that Ralsei would gain the courage to accept himself and believe the others would accept him too.

But when you start thinking some more about Ralsei’s personality and actions, other options start to present themselves as well. A major and somewhat unsettling aspect of Ralsei’s character is his near-religious devotion to Lightners and the prophecy. He believes that Darkners can only achieve true satisfaction by serving Lightners and helping them achieve their goals. Combine that with his clear loneliness from living in near-complete solitude for who knows how long, and it is clear that Ralsei would do or be anything to please the Lightners, and Kris/the Player specifically. (I combine them here not because I think they are the same person - they aren’t - but because there is a good deal of ambiguity around Ralsei’s awareness of and attitude towards the Player.) If he somehow sensed that Kris/the Player had a fondness for a certain appearance, it would make sense for him to want to replicate said appearance.

We also see that Ralsei isn’t exactly a stranger to disguising himself, considering the River Person-looking getup he is wearing when we see him first (I know that’s just a cloak and any resemblance is almost certainly unintentional, but the small visual parallel is fun to point out). Either he saw Kris and Susie coming and whipped out a mysterious outfit to heighten the moment he’s long been waiting for, or he was just walking around the castle like that. Both options suggest that Ralsei is at least capable of, and likely enjoys, dressing up and changing the way he looks.

Finally, Ralsei’s appearance completely changing when he removes his hat doesn’t make too much sense. This argument is not extremely strong due to the art style, but it bears mentioning that Ralsei’s hat is knocked askew at multiple points in the game, partially flying off his head during many reaction shots. In these moments, he very clearly has fuzzy black fur, not shadowed white fur.

In combination, Ralsei’s desperation to please the Lightners, his proclivity for disguises, and the hat’s inability to account for all the changes to his appearance suggest that the hat removal scene at the end of Chapter 1 might not actually be a face reveal, but instead a transition to a new and improved disguise, based on Kris’ longing for their brother to come home and/or the Player’s enjoyment of Undertale. It’s possible that Ralsei doesn’t even realize that he resembles Asriel, or that this might put Kris and Susie on edge. He just fulfilled an unconscious wish - leading to rather interesting results.

All this to say that I really enjoy this theory. I doubt that it’ll end up being canon, but who knows? I expect that Deltarune will continue to surprise us, and until the next chapters come out, all we can really do is make fan content and come up with bizarre theories. Even if this theory is not true in the slightest, I think it could be interesting to explore in fan content, at least.

[leportraitducadavre]

I wasn’t sure about posting this, as it’s an explanation I don’t think is required or mandatory of me to make but I feel like giving, this wasn’t prompted by any recent exchange nor ask, so please don’t think I’m speaking about someone specifically, as I’ve had this post in the drafts for a while; I just think it’s time to post it here to have a precedent in case a similar situation should occur.

[Warning: I’m using the singular person "you" to explain actions taken by people over the course of my time on Tumblr. It is not aimed at any specific person or the reader in particular.]

As you might know, I’m a human being -and as such, I make mistakes or have opinions that some people might disagree on. I think I’m mature enough to own up to them or even challenge my views. I know that my personality isn’t for everyone -I do think I’m mostly approachable, but I understand those that choose not to interact with me under those premises.

In that sense, if you only care about my “analyzer persona” (for lack of a better word) which is a totally valid take, then feel free to ignore this post as I’m now allowing myself to speak about my personal boundaries and my zone of comfort.

I have no problem with people disagreeing with me or commenting on my posts. I’ve posted them on a site where discussions and debates are the usual norm and I accepted the rules of the game, I know what I’m getting into when clicking on the “post” button. That being said, I can’t and won’t condone unpoliteness. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt as you see, people’s speeches can come off with a harsher tone than was intended when in writing; but if you have specifically reproduced more than once such conduct or mannerisms when trying to interact with me, then I’m blocking you.

You can’t reply to a post of mine to argue with it and, once I reply, simply cut the conversation short; you’re the one who initiated the debate in the first place, why are you shutting down the door you opened simply because my response didn’t validate your point of view? If you want to have the last word, then maybe express it in a space that allows you to take control of the narrative (as, your own blog).

Demanding me to give you (and the narrative in itself) a plausible solution for a character’s conundrum is never the point of my posts nor my job as a reader/analyzer; I have to perform twice the job because you either deny there’s a problem in the first place or can’t concoct a better political system. You can’t justify a character’s actions by asking the critics to “give me a solution then!”, because that’s not how story-framing works, as I was analyzing what actually happened in the story. Demanding such a thing is either justifying the narrative because “I would’ve reacted the same way!” (which is nothing but self-projection) or denying it of any value because “I wouldn’t have reacted that way!” (which is, again, self-projection). A character took a decision and I analyzed its reasoning; it’s not my job to search for a solution (and likely fail to give a plausible and/or bulleproof solution, as that was actually what many of you are actually looking for to undermine my analysis) in order to make a character look “less” evil because they had no other choice. The options were doing it or not doing it -each of them has different implications and consequences. We only saw and have canon evidence of what happened when they took one of the two; I make posts about that specific situation.

In addition, I consider extremely distasteful those who send you to Google the concepts that they consider relevant for their point of view, if they believe them to be that detrimental to their theory, then they should make sure everyone participating has the same notion they're handling. Otherwise, it's like they want to dismiss your case because you're "making no effort" to understand them because, you see, it’s my job to build their own arguments.

Finally, I don’t like to indulge in headcanons and “what if” scenarios, I have no problem with them but I don’t see the point in exploring them as much as some people ask me to. For instance, since I’m a Sasuke-centered blog mostly, if what you want is to take away Sasuke from the overall structure to give him a "good story", then you’re destroying him whole. Sasuke works as well as he does because he’s the complete opposite of the setting he's thrown inside of. Take away Sasuke and the plot doesn't work. Take away the shinobi system and Sasuke ceases to exist. Sasuke exists as an opposition, if he suddenly has nothing to oppose, then he’s done. Is the ending shit? Yes. Is the ending realistic? Also yes, heartbreaking, but realistic, as winning against the oppressive system is close to impossible. Naruto’s ending wants to give a very idealistic conclusion to a story that will never end in such a way, revolutions and structural changes don’t happen by talking, and Boruto came in to actually prove this when it showed us how Naruto fixed nothing.

[mundanememorize]

i’m going to gush about this book under the cut because it might be my favorite book ever

i’m not going to say bpd is perfectly correlated with the idea of a mirror or that everyone with bpd has an obsession with The Mirror or mirror imagery because i feel people would take that the wrong way and understand it as vanity but this book is not only a mirror to me but also perfectly explains this idea of The Mirror through her what she’s experienced and having little or no identity. The idea of forcing yourself to paint an image on a mirror instead of just wearing your clothes. i’m using more prose than review but this books has made so much easier for me to understand how much of my thought process is powered by my bpd, and usually this would be one of the most earth shattering things, because that idea that bpd has so much control over me makes me feel like a dissected bug something disgusting and vulnerable but this book says that exactly before i can even finish the thought. it repeats thoughts u had yesterday from a book written years before i had it. it presents every thought i’ve had or tried to push down right in front of me on a published page.

bpd for me makes it so hard to connect because of this imaginary game of social connection you start to make up in your head. you’re trying to play chess with checkers and you don’t even know how either game works. the author lisa johnson lays out exactly the web of her life and connections and her idea of tactics that play out seemingly without her executive decision. these things just happen because she wants them to so she acts on them. this is the only way something can happen when you’re thinking through the way bpd works. you’re forced down a cattle canal with a nail gun at the end. it’s a one track mind sent down a labyrinth of choices and you’re poorly equipped for strategy.

not only that but the dissection of the facade(s) that come with having bpd is also wonderfully done (and how could it not be when told by someone with bpd). so often are facades presented as two layers: something to lure and something to trap. something delicious that leads to torture. with this people think those with bpd only aim to do these things, that we are oriented around the goal of destruction and only get to know people to slowly close our jaw over them. i think then too many people with bpd add this idea and belief as another layer onto our made up game of charades and chess. if you know i have this then you won’t love me anymore, that’s when ill have to flare or fringe and quills. i’ll have to do this to show you you’re right and wrong, that im awful and scared. that i am a defense mechanism as a whole. the book starts with this presentation too, making the read feel as though you’re following and outsiders path in. it begins with repeating talk of celebrities and house fires and the fascinations with public meltdowns. the connection you have to public figures pushed to their limit and lashing out and arguing tabloids reports like that’s a person in itself. this follows up with an incredibly clinical chapter, and if we treat this book in itself as a person (as its later described as) it feels distinctly placed there to make up for the gossip of the last chapter. this continues on as we get deeper and more personal with the authors life and the back and forth becomes clear this is the every day change and adjustment with bpd.

i’ve never read a book that feels like i am just reading my own diary with different names, jobs, and places. she discusses how her art and writing seems to teeter on being a favorite person itself, how when you have no identity it’s not just “hard to maintain a relationship” it’s utterly impossible to understand what attraction is. how aversion to comfort is more plausible but wonders why nothing you choose is comfortable. how analytical you have to be with bpd, weighing pros and cons, which without explanation seems as cold and callous “strategy” to anyone without it (though it’s just so you make the “better decision” in the end). this book is catharsis for every article that focuses on the bpd’s loved ones pain rather than that affected by the disorder. for every time you ask “what about me?” through gritted teeth and green eyes this book shares that deep inside grinding pain saying “i know”. it’s such a wonderful book that i really genuinely do start to get light headed reading this.

it’s a hard read, not in terms of content or a sudden wave of self loathing, but because it starts to destroy the wall or hole many with bpd have surrounding loneliness. “there is no one like me” is destroyed when you read lisa johnson describe your life in fine detail in the exact code words you always use so no one will know what is actually going on inside. when you cuts in clippings from artists, psychological studies, and pop culture i see my art fold out in front of me too, trying to make this same exact message. when this feeling of utter god awful loneliness starts to be dismantled by her words you see piece by piece what yours is actually made up of, where it came from, and how to discard it. there are people like you, but we all are so utterly terrified of being turned inside out we don’t just build a barrier, we incase ourselves in resin to sit and wait and be chipped out. consider this book the hammer and chisel.

i recommend this book to absolutely anyone. if you have bpd you will find some solace in it in certain, i’ve found it in every page down to every paragraph. if you love someone or even know someone with bpd i really encourage you to read it. it’s not just a bullet point list of things that ppl with bpd do or feel like, it is drenched in what having it is like. the formatting and text is sporadic with lines that imitate self harm inflictions littering breaks between paragraphs at random. words get bolded and each word of sentences are broken up by periods. italics shrink to the bottom of the page and font changes mid paragraph when floundering to keep up an appearance. it’s an insightful book because reading it you experience these episodes along with them happening. it leads you on a simulation of how out of control thus disorder is and feels. if you’re struggling to understand your loved one or yourself this book lays it out down to having a readers guide with questions to answer in the back.

it’s been an incredibly beautiful experience to read through this and see oddities i thought were disgusting exist in another human being as it’s always easier to understand and be kind to another’s pain than your own. reaaaaaad it.

[jojossillywalk]

Mohammed Avdol's Knowledge Analysis: Part 2 The Assassins

This goes over Avdol's knowledge base of the Tarot assassins! Additionally, other stuff that's sort of in universe that has to do with them: the value of knowledge, silence, and some potential interpretations for that.

Fun fact, it seems like Avdol knows more about the Tarot than some of the Tarot does!

I'm looking at how Avdol judges people's character as well! I Have No Idea If Anyone Cares About This But Me but if anyone has takes p. please :(

I'm putting forth the theory that in the second part of SDC, Avdol's actions are influenced by his knowledge gaps. The third Wall of Text is also be about Polnareff because Sighs he's relevant. I was going to include him here but it got way too long

Before I actually get into it: in addition to being very adept at using his Stand, it's established very early on that Avdol is an excellent tracker.

So, it's really easy to say "haha, Joseph's being an idiot, how is Avdol supposed to get anything from a single picture with a dark background."

However, you could also ask, "Why the hell does Joseph have reason to believe that Avdol can get anything about this image, it's a guy in a dark background."

Which. I don't think is entirely unjustified! A fucking background fly in the background could give Avdol your IP address.

Other notes, Dio was going out of his way to avoid being detected by the Joestars, yet they had knowledge of the fleshbud and knew it could kill people- as Avdol was the one who had been tracking assassins and Stand users, who Dio sometimes fleshbudded, I think it's plausible that the initial discovery of the fleshbud's existence might've come through Avdol.

Avdol phrases a lot of his knowledge as "I heard rumors of"/"I heard of," which Things Can Be Extrapolated There, but basically it establishes that he does have/had contacts.

You have the beggar incident, where Avdol will seek out contacts if he can't gather the information by himself. Moving on

The Assassins

Who Avdol knows, and who he does not know!

The Tower "I've heard there's a user with a bug Stand who enjoys ripping the tongues out of victims." "Stand who commits mass murder by framing his kills as accidents. The airplane crash responsible for 300 deaths last year in England is said to be his doing. I'd heard rumors, but he's allied with Dio." "making it look like an accident in return for pay." The fact that Avdol knows the shape of the Stand means that his rumor source was most likely another Stand user, as they were capable of seeing it act. We're not sure who tells him this, either they're dead or it's someone who Avdol isn't comfortable with getting involved with fighting Dio. This person may have seen Tower mid attack to learn about the tongues, but you could also discern that this guy takes tongues because the corpses of some of the victims have their tongue missing. Whether Avdol examined them or his contact did, we have no way of knowing.

The Moon "A waterfaring Stand. A Stand that I, Avdol, have never heard of." Understandable that he hasn't heard of a waterfaring Stand, but his phrasing is interesting. It has an "Whoa, even I didn't know" connotation. Avdol has good reason to believe that he has a good roster!

Strength "I was closest, but I didn't feel anything." "The only explanation for them seeing it is the enormous energy that it's giving off. It would take tremendous power to control such an enormous Stand." "It is the first time I've encountered that energy." Avdol's pretty visibly freaked out by this one! Interesting to note that Avdol uses "feel" instead of "see," I guess you could consider it an early indicator of that sensor ability that he has.

The Devil "Mafia, militaries, and governments around the world employ him. Just once, I saw Devo's appearance. He was covered in injuries, from provoking people to attack." (in response to what kind of Stand it is) "No one knows. Everyone who has seen his Stand was killed." Avdol knows a lot about this guy, right down to employers. Interestingly enough, Avdol saw Devo's face, but didn't attack- this makes sense, as we see that Avdol doesn't seem to pick fights that he's not sure he can win. Furthermore, Avdol is aware of the fact that everyone who's seen that Stand is dead. I have the running theory that Avdol is more than capable of reverse engineering people's abilities via the circumstances of their death. By his description, I think it's unlikely for him to have heard of the Stand's function through rumors. He seems very certain that everyone is dead.

Temperance No way to tell what he does or doesn't know! He doesn't say anything about hearing or knowing about a Stand capable of mimicry, though.

The Hanged Man So! While there's again, no real way to know, Rubber Soul says something interesting: "I've heard rumors," when asked about the functionality of the Hanged Man. Since rumors were in fact in circulation, I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that Avdol had heard about someone with a mirror Stand. Presumably, he didn't know the guy had two right hands.

The Emperor Another instance of We Just Don't Know. That said, Hol Horse says this: "My gun and J Geil's mirrors don't work well against Avdol's flames, so we thought that Avdol would be the most difficult enemy. Lucky! There's no more scary pieces in this game." Avdol himself is very confident that he can melt Hol Horse's bullet and Hol Horse seems to believe the same; there's multiple occasions where Avdol knows of the Stand, but he doesn't know the extent of its ability (Tower's speed, Judgement's strength, High Priestess's size). With the Emperor, he seems certain. It's also very easy to see how Magician's Red hard counters the Hanged Man: literally it's an AoE, Geil would have been done the second that he changed reflections at the wrong second. Hol Horse was positive that even two against one, Avdol was going to be immensely difficult to beat. You could sort of theorize that Hol Horse's words could imply a prior confrontation between him and Avdol, which ended badly for Hol Horse.

Everyone Up To Judgement No way to know! Enya does mention "I'm sure you've heard rumors" to Hol Horse when she's summoning Justice, so again, there's an active rumor mill- Avdol could have heard of Justice easily. That said! He also says "This is the first time I've encountered such energy" when talking about Strength- Justice is capable of mimicking an entire town and controlling an army. He probably hasn't seen it/faced it head on. Avdol was also not aware of the speed of the Tower, though, so it's not unprecedented that he has general knowledge without the full extent of its power.

Judgement "Cameo of Judgement, you were?" "Hell 2 U" Avdol recognized that Stand on either sight, ability, or both, and identified the user. Probably either heard of him, saw him, etc. However, he also does that "Hell 2 U" thing without hearing it directly from Cameo, unless he was, uh. Sitting There Watching? I think it's probably more likely that he just knew of that catchphrase, similar to how he knew about Tower's tongue ripping habit. Cameo also seemed extremely apprehensive about the idea of facing Avdol, and was surprised at the notion that he might be able to win this. He's like "Oh shit, I actually am going to get to share my good news!" To me that implies that at very least, they probably haven't fought in the past. 10. The High Priestess "I've heard of it." "It's a long range Stand, so the user is probably on the surface." Off the bat, Avdol identifies the Stand and user's name, he knows her abilities, but he wasn't aware of how big the Stand was capable of getting, and he didn't know how fast it was. Once again, he's "heard of it." That said, High Priestess's setup and use of environmental advantage shows that she's pretty experienced. I don't know whether she knew to avoid trying to face Magician's Red or if Avdol didn't pick that fight because he hadn't had the opportunity to set the board!

Finally: "I don't know. Even I don't know. Nine of them?"

Again, it's hard to tell whether or not Avdol doesn't know because he's never identified someone outside of the Tarot, or because he knows enough users (hostile or not) that it's too broad to narrow down nine people who might have started working for Dio.

In the event that he's only ever identified Tarot: it's possible that his informants came from the Tarot, which would imply that given the right circumstances, he'll actually ally with some of them, or some of them are people who were his allies at one point, but they've all betrayed him at one point or another.

I do think that Avdol has definitely killed assassins before, and not just because he carries those knives to help people speedrun burning to death.

This is his stated motivation for killing Dio. In addition to saving Holly, Avdol himself will search for and kill someone who he deems bad enough. This especially seems to be provoked by the involvement of bystanders.

He didn't seem too concerned with the possibility of Dio having Simply Pulled More Tarot Cards either. Thus, I think his probable history is that he definitely knows of and has done away with assassins outside of the Tarot (who he just happens to share a naming convention with), he just can't narrow down nine right off the top of his head.

Silence, Knowledge, Rumors

So! Silence is extremely important for the Tarot, and we get two statements in a row about this.

"There's not a single assassin who reveals their Stand to people. The only time that they reveal it is when they or their opponent is dying. Everyone knows the weaknesses of you people, whose Stands are known to people." -Devo, at the end of the first

"That (the knowledge) alone, I can't tell you. I have pride. - I remember now! Death, Empress, Hanged Man, and the Emperor. - I really don't know! Stand users don't reveal their powers to others, that'd expose their weaknesses." - Rubber Soul, who did know the appearance, vague abilities, and identity of J Geil, as well as his murder of Sherry.

Silence is extremely valued among the Tarot- however, rumors of others circulate among the Tarot, so it can already be inferred that there's information leaks.

It goes without saying that Hol Horse is probably a huge culprit for some of those leaks- out of all of them, he's the user who defaults to acting with a partner, so he's naturally the one has the highest likelihood of actually seeing someone using their Stand without being the one to fight him.

Enya's someone with a huge base of knowledge, as well as the ability to send out and hire assassins.

That said, the Tarot are exceptionally tight lipped. Avdol isn't excluded form this statement, either.

Assuming that Rubber Soul can be taken at his word, he himself didn't actually know of any individuals who were after them. Furthermore, he only knew any level of detail about the Hanged Man.

We know for sure that Avdol knew of: The Tower, the Devil, Judgement, and the High Priestess, then could feasibly have been in a past confrontation with the Emperor- this is literally everyone who was after them while Avdol was present, outside of the Hanged Man and the two Stands who literally rely on water.

However, he seems to disclose on a need-to-know basis. I understand that this is just storytelling, but like, in-universe, people like Polnareff and Jotaro repeatedly try to drag information out of defeated assassins. Avdol literally has more knowledge than two of those assassins, combined.

This isn't only because he's not sure if they're coming after them, either. Most of the Tarot who he knows about are explicitly mass murderers or mercenaries. He has very good reason to suspect they'll be coming.

However, here's a part of Rubber Soul's quote: "I still have pride." The word he actually uses is "hokori," which is the exact same word that Avdol uses as a compliment when he says that it'd be a shame to kill Polnareff.

Avdol has a very strong moral compass and sense of pride, which we already know doesn't always work to his benefit. It's very possible that, even in the wake of everything that the assassins have done, he limits his disclosures until he knows, 100%, that they're being targeted by these people.

However!

I don't think he likes doing this.

When Dio encounters Avdol 4 months before the plot starts, he says, "I've heard you have a special power that normal people don't have. It'd make me happy if you showed it to me, a little." Creepy lip licking

Dio went for Kakyoin's survival instinct and Polnareff's desire for revenge. IN contrast, on the surface it literally just looks like he showed up on Avdol's doorstep like "Hey :) I'm Hot."

I think, considering Avdol's circumstances, it's very possible that Avdol was just skilled at hiding things about himself, so Dio literally had to just spitball on that front. It's helped by the fact that even 4 months prior to the plot starting, it's only in the first couple episodes that Dio was like "... The Joestars... they've Found me >:("

Could be that Avdol is just very good at making himself obscure- at this point, it looks like Dio didn't actually know that Avdol was working with the Joestars.

That said! The fact that Dio explicitly asks for Avdol to show him Magician's Red is interesting in the light of the fact that knowledge is heavily curated among the Tarot. You don't show people your Stand! You don't tell people about who you might've seen. When you are showing off your Stand, it's usually because things are getting violent.

Dio's words immediately step right on that convention. He comes out of the gate asking to be shown Magician's Red, stating that he'd be "happy" if it was shown to him.

Avdol's pretty vocally distressed about the fact that he was drawn to Dio. He states that he recognized him "immediately," but took a moment to flee, and the fleshbuds actually move a lot slower than they did towards Kakyoin and Polnareff. He also admits that if he hadn't recognized Dio as quickly as he did, he might not have made it.

If Dio wasn't just chucking an approach at the wall, I think he was not only trying to exploit Avdol's desire for companionship (he was like. definitely doing that, which. hm. eugh), he was trying to use Avdol's dislike for the fact that silence is inextricably linked to a sense of "honor and pride" when it comes to the Tarot. He asks to be shown.

There's multiple examples of Avdol kind of forcing himself to back off of something when he's distressed about it: Jotaro pulling the bud, Polnareff leaving ("I'm just disappointed in him"), the D'Arby fight, holding Polnareff back from going after D'Arby the Younger, and trying to promise that Polnareff and he won't save each other.

If Avdol was withholding information about the Tarot, I think there's a pretty decent chance that he was very conflicted about so.

Other Indications That Avdol Has That Caution Towards Knowledge

He uses a lot of fake outs, feigns injuries, and obscures how strong his Stand is- he does this with both Polnareff and Cameo. That's very smart, because it lets you still hide your Stand ability while you're in combat. It lets you get away with still having cards up your sleeve.

In the Hanged Man episode, he's like "The enemy knows about you. You say you've lived alone, but from this point on you can't win alone." Avdol shares the awareness that people knowing about Silver Chariot is the reason why Polnareff's at a severe disadvantage from this point on.

Avdol is a contrast to this! Despite the enemy knowing about them, Cameo never knew the extent of Avdol's strength. While watching Avdol gear up Crossfire, Polnareff goes, "It's coming. You're going to show your real power- interesting, I'll stand and take it." Even deployed by Dio, Polnareff didn't know the true extent of what Avdol was capable of. He also never knew about the sensor! That said, he knew Magician's Red likes a lot of room.

Avdol tells Polnareff about the multiple versions of Crossfire, but states that he's "sharing a secret" in exchange for Polnareff being transparent about Chariot.

All of this is pretty indicative of Avdol being about as cautious as you can get.

Furthermore: Avdol believes that some people are too evil to let live, hates bystander death, and is aware of the Tarot. However, he uses "heard of" most of the time and didn't know the extent of a lot of those assassins' abilities, which indicates that he hasn't actually fought some of them.

My gut feeling is that Avdol stays away from fights where he can't set the board, prior. All the Tarot enemies like doing this- Tower attacks in an area where high maneuverability + small size are augmented by lots of areas to hide and a room too small to act as freely as it can.

High Priestess attacked them in a submarine, where again, small space and high maneuverability are augmented by Everything Is Made Of Metal Good Luck, and they're surrounded by minerals even if they can escape.

Judgement attacked an isolated, bereaved individual. Divide and conquer is a strategy that all of them like, unless they can pull off an AoE or have something like the Lovers or Death 13 going on.

Experienced Stand Users Like Rigging The Game.

Avdol is zero stranger to tactical retreat. Magician's Red could have annihilated the flesh buds, but Avdol bolted because he didn't know what Dio's Stand could do, and he wasn't taking the risk.

He didn't want to respond to the provocation of the Hanged Man, he suggests distancing from Bastet until they leave her range, Devil's ability is probably why he didn't attack. When Priestess attacks, he immediately prioritizes getting the hell out of the room (which actually almost gets him attacked).

He prevents Polnareff from jumping after D'Arby, and tries to make Polnareff promise to abandon him if it's tactically disadvantageous, and states that he will do the same.

Often, his emotions work against him in these circumstances. Both times that he tried this with Polnareff, Avdol couldn't bring himself to follow through. He almost attacked Tower in the damn plane when he saw the murders.

So once again, I don't think Avdol necessarily likes the fact that this is the best fighting style. Not picking a fight you're not sure on is actually very smart- if he went all out against someone who got away, that's an instant information bleed. If he was killed, he can't do anything to them in the future. Those are very good reasons for playing it safe.

Still: Polnareff calling Avdol a coward seemed to really hit him where it hurt. Even though Avdol defends himself by saying that his ability to back off is what will allow them to win, his immediate reaction shows that hearing that from a friend badly stung.

In The Absence of Information

Egyptian God Time. In the wake up everything I went over in this godforsaken post!

The Gods were like. Probably Avdol's nightmare scenario? During this period, Avdol is very thrown off kilter, and it shows.

First of all: we can already gather that Avdol doesn't really pick fights that he can't win when he has the option (or isn't emotionally overwhelmed). With the Gods, he's basically been cornered into a situation that he would never have put himself in if it weren't for the Joestars.

The thing is, we can see him trying to act like he would have in the first half: he makes a good, swift calculation on how to counter N'Doul, and he was literally 0.5 seconds from winning that one in the first five minutes of that fight. N'Doul got very lucky.

The Bastet fight is a pretty solid indicator of how off balance Avdol gets in a fight where he's not confident. He looks to guidance, he walks right onto the railroad track, and he goes along with things that he's uncertain of. I don't think this is out of character, because you see stuff like this in real, very competent people:

On these occasions that when Avdol is that off balance, he'll act in ways that he wouldn't if he was in his element. This is pretty common with people who are very acclimated to a high pressure environment (idk what that's called but)! Healthcare workers come to mind because that's the field I work in and grew up with, but you'll see a looooot of that.

For example! Raised by an ER nurse who wanted to move to another speciality, literally no one wanted him to leave because he was one of the best nurses there for 20 years. The same guy walked around with his arm gone almost numb and in enough pain to not be able to move his neck when he was at home.

I've done very similar, I've seen people do very similar, this is a thing that happens. Not everyone does this, but some people who are incredibly skilled under pressure will just not do as well when they're winging it.

Current coworkers, EMS workers, chef coworkers when I was a cook, etc etc, that's just how some people are. Autism can also contribute: masking is an assembly of various traits that I imitate, but when I'm in a situation where those traits lose their function/aren't working in that environment, I'm functionally a paperweight?

PTSD is also a contributor: coping mechanisms work in one situation, but they can lose function or even turn against you when you are removed from it. This is why I'm fine in an OR, but need to actively regulate my breathing in the fucking shopping mall.

Avdol is highly adept at dealing with Stand users in the circumstances that he's used to. He wouldn't have put himself in this situation if he had the option, he stayed by obligation, and it's going pretty poorly. Like. Imagine springing this on a neurosurgeon: "Surprise! Do this fucking coronary bypass graft! You lack context and information, you didn't expect this to happen (he didn't: all the Tarot were dead), and By The Way You Are On A Timer Someone's Life Is At Stake. Have fun!"

That's basically what's been done to Avdol, and it makes me twitchy just thinking about it.

Then there's the D'Arby fight- very stressful! We also see him actually exercising appropriate caution once again- he tells Jotaro to be ready with Star Platinum (the fastest of their Stands) while Polnareff is busy trying to Solve Cat Food.

Additionally, Avdol is aware of how disadvantaged they are: this is probably why he tries to push the "we can't save each other" thing on himself and Polnareff. He's already very conscious of the fact that everyone is at a severe disadvantage.

So yeah! Wrapping up the knowledge analysis with the statement that I think the second half of Jojo's was literally Avdol's fucking nightmare circumstance.

Next up is Polnareff, and why his bond with Avdol is so poignant in the wake of all of this context.

[ayahuascadiaries]

It is one of my beliefs that no one who has had a full-blown DMT trip could ever regard any belief as either totally true or totally false. In fact, what we label consensus reality is only provisionally "real" from this point of view. Most of us have heard the Buddhist tenet that "Life is an illusion." The DMT experience fully ratifies this assertion.

(Actually, "partial reality" may be a more accurate term than "illusion.") One of the most plausible explanations for how this can be is that

"reality" in this dimension is constructed by whichever neurotransmitter is currently being processed by your brain:

When one smokes or injects a substance like DMT or 5- MeO-DMT, one experiences a situ- ation where the brain sees, or chemically reacts to something that resembles its usual neurotransmitters, but is just one or two [atoms] away. So, it allows these mutated chemicals to take the same spot it usually reserves for serotonin. Both being close enough molecularly and functionally to replace serotonin, the impulses that usually get organized by serotonin now get organized by the DMT or DMT analogs... If the brain functions in a qualitatively... identical way... [with] either serotonin or DMT, then we must assume that if one is hallucinatory, then the other might be also. In this case what we call

"normal" reality may be 5-HT (serotonin) hallucination and what is undergone by schizophrenics is DMT hallucination. Or, that neither are hallucinatory in effect, but simply differing "lenses" that reveal two very real, but slightly mis-aligned realities.5

In dimensional terms, this hypothesis asserts that the realm you perceive is dependent upon any one of a series of closely analogous molecular keys. The "normal" key for this dimension is serotonin, but if you wish to enter the imaginal realms, similar chemicals will open them up to your awareness. It is significant and interesting that the most powerful of the psychedelic drugs are all very similar in structure to serotonin! Somehow I find something wryly comforting in the assertion:

"Life is just a serotonin hallucination!"

Quote from the book Psychedelic Shamanism: The Cultivation, Preparation & Shamanic Use of Psychoactive Plants

[avictimofthejazz]

The Complicated Kidnapping--Amy with Face & BA

@iloveitxwhenaplanxcomestogether (Amy)

The entire drive to carry out this asinine plan of Hannibal’s has been punctuated by BA and Face sourly agreeing that Hannibal has finally, well and truly, lost it. The A-Team have enough legal woes lurking around them, without adding blatant kidnapping to the list. Face had hatched a dozen other subtler plans to contact Miss Amy Amanda Allen, but for one reason or another Hannibal vetoed all of them. Face suspects that his boss just wants the most dramatic option available. In the Colonel’s mind, that must mean kidnapping this poor reporter off the streets, and returning her to her father that way. Neither man is entirely comfortable with this plan, but any job done for one of Hannibal’s friends is something that they put a high priority on. Besides, if they have to follow through with this scheme, they both want to get it done with as soon as possible. Tracking down Miss Allen was not difficult—a call to the Courier posing as her brother earns Face information about her location. Grabbing her, though, proves to be a lot harder than either BA or he expected. They thought simply driving up beside her in the alley and yanking her into the van would work… and then she started running. As soon as BA throws the young woman into the van, Face hops in after her, and hastily closed the door. BA jumps back into his seat, and mere seconds later they are careening out of the alley and back onto the main roads. Being thrown headfirst into a van by a man who looks like he should be the lead singer for a punk rock band is hardly enough to stop Miss Allen, however. Sourly, Face wonders if it even phased her as the woman throws herself over his lap to try and yank the sliding door open. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Face goes to push her into the seat usually used by Murdock. “At the speeds BA’s pushing, if you throw yourself out the door, you’ll probably just kill yourself. A dead Miss Allen is not going to do us any good.” Face sighs as his unwilling guest’s only response is to demand where they are taking her. From the driver’s seat, BA grunts. “You ain’t a prisoner so calm down. We’re just takin’ you back to your dad.” Face nods, “And on behalf of my Colonel and your father, I apologize for this ridiculousness. Apparently meeting you at a lunch counter and explaining things to you properly was not dramatic enough for my boss.” Face tosses another one of his sincere smiles at Amy. “This really isn’t the way I like making the acquaintance of beautiful wo—ooof!” Face jerks forward and almost falls out of his seat when BA hits the brakes abruptly. “BA!”

“Sorry,” The muscle man sounds decidedly unremorseful. “Red light.” Despite the plausible explanation from his friend, Face cannot help noticing the pointed glare that BA directs at him via the rear-view mirror. If he tries flirting with their client’s daughter again, BA is going to do decidedly worse than slam on the brakes hard enough to send him flying.

Abashed for a few minutes at least, Face picks himself up and settles back into his seat. “As to where we are taking you, it’s the motel your father is staying at. He only elaborated to Hannibal, but apparently there’s something going on where he does not feel like he can just go walking back into his house and meet you in the usual manner. Hence all the dramatics and secrecy—he says it is to protect you.”

[maoam]

Gotta love how SS and NH desperately want their ships to have another child. (Probably due to an obsession with the idea of SS/NH having sex).

If SS has a 2nd kid they'll probably be as relevant to the story as NH's 2nd kid. And wtf is gonna happen with a 3rd NH child?? We see how useless the girl already is lmao

And now I'm just wondering on how Salad, Burrito and Himawima came to be anyway. It's literally the power of fiction, they needed new kids and there was no logical way (well, with SS at least) to conceive them.

Sasuke would never lay with Sakura under any circumstances, he just wouldn't. Whatever theories about Sakura forcing herself onto him, or some form of test tube pregnancy, have more plausibility.

With Naruto, tbh, it's a sad scene too. Not at all like that "cutesy" NH gif one of the animators made. Seeing how guilty Naruto was in The Last, he probably took one for the team and had a short, miserable time with Hinata while she was too thrilled/stunned in shyness to notice his discomfort. (Now the idea of Hinata being a selfish lover is in my mind and that also seems quite plausible given how selfish she already is.) I have no idea how they had a second kid besides the power of pencils and paper.

This is so depressing when you actually understand Sasuke and Naruto's characters and how gay they both are.

Yes, Kishimoto especially went out of his way to show Sasuke didn't kiss Sakura and to show he's not comfortable with touching her like he is with Naruto. He even went out of his way to show Sakura not even having the umbilical cord, which is outrageous by Japanese standards, since the mother is supposed to have it. Yet Karin has it. So Kishimoto either implies 1. Sarada is biologically Karin's 2. Karin cares about her more than Sakura does. Like the idea of SS having consensual sex is just not plausible. I do think test tube baby seems the most plausible explanation, especially since there was so much about genetics and laboratory in Gaiden. We have literally a bunch of weird sharingan kids in Gaiden.

Naruto seems bored with Hinata, and doesn't seem eager to go home either. I can imagine his first time with Hinata was uncomfortable. He was guilty about not showing attention towards her. Icky.

[theangryjikooker]

Can I say something controversial? Lol. Either way that tattoo convo is tricky imo. I’ve always said I believe what the members say and I think I’m more or less neutral regarding Jikook. By that I mean I can see them being a thing, but I also see a lot of conflicting stuff that can deny it. So sometimes I am more on the side 'hmmm something’s going on here' and sometimes I’m more ‘nah this kinda disapprove it’. Ngl the Army/Jm tattoo was something I was side eyeing a lot (let’s be honest most of fandom was, and not just Jikook shippers, or it wouldn’t be such a hot topic). But now I have to take Jungkook for his own words. And I’m sorry to say this, right now I feel like either that guy is a bit dumb because it has been quite obvious for everyone and their mothers that that J on top of the M on his ring finger was a suspicious placement as it could clearly be read as JM which, again, basically most of the fandom has been doing since he got it hence why that whole ridiculous theory about all of the members initials being part of it etc. So either he’s naive and a bit of a dummy, which I never thought of JK before, quite the contrary, or it means he’s a liar… Either way, the conclusion isn’t exactly one I like… I’m aware that I’m also being judgmental here but f*ck, sorry but if it does stand for his name, with this placement and all, it’s just a weird and dumb idea and does not make any sense to me, I don’t understand the logic, the symmetry and all? Like, what? On the other hand I surely don’t want to indulge in the idea that he lied and didn’t tell the whole truth because after all he could have just avoided the topic altogether and it sounds a bit too conspiracy-ish for me. Sorry for the rant, and for legal reasons I just want to emphasize: those are only my own personal thoughts on the issue. I know damn well it’s not my business after all.

Fair enough, and I can see why the debate continues on the issue. And as you so astutely pointed out, the conclusions don’t reflect well on him (one more than the other).

But I think I would trust his explanations by default, regardless of how it sounds because at least he’s addressing the topic. While JM has become naturally associated with Jimin, I think it’s just as plausible that he really wasn’t thinking about it too hard.

Although, in fairness, if we’re talking symmetry, it would’ve made sense for him to add the J on the pinky. Be that as it may, people with any sort of vision—and especially when it comes to permanent body art—can be a little quirky with their choices.

His tattoos don’t have any influence on my feelings towards Jikook, so it’s a moot point for me and not one I prioritize. At this point, I do feel more comfortable believing what he has to say. If his future actions/words create a dissonance with what he’s just said, it would be something to earmark, but it’s definitely not worth my energy when talking about Jikook.

[frostyreturns]

18 year old OHL hockey player kills himself. A friend was telling me about and wondered if it had to do with him being straight from Russia and being bullied. My first thought was no way, Russians have been part of hockey at every level in North America since they started defecting in the early 80′s. Even at the superstar level that would surprise me, apparently even league superstars like Auston Matthews went out of their way to learn some Russian just so they could make some of the guys coming over feel more comfortable. 

Then I rememberd...oh wait hasn’t the news been saying Russia is satan for the past year, yeah nevermind that’s totally plausible. I remember former NHL goalie Dominik Hasek chirping Alex Ovechkin on twitter over the Russia Ukraine bullshit like as though just because he was Russian he had to answer for everything their government did. So yeah totally plausible there are news watching morons who were making life harder for some kid who just wanted to play hockey. 

That also being said...I didn’t hear anything about a suicide note or any kind of explanation, no story is being attached to it...and usually if there’s some sort of angle they hammer that narrative really hard so they can pretend to care about mental health or bullying or w.e...so the almost silence on the subject makes me also wonder...did he drop dead of something else suddenly and mysteriously and they’re just saying suicide so nobody asks any questions. 

Either way whether it’s suicide or an otherwise healthy teenager dropping dead for no reason at all both are happening way too often. And I don’t want to hear one disingenuous word about this stuff from anyone who supported jab mandates and lock downs. Your pretending to care about peoples mental health has been permanently revoked and I’m talking about government, corporations, non profits and individuals.

[astaldis]

Nauseous - Long Story

@whumpers-monthly​

Fandom: The Witcher TV, The Witcher novels

Whumpee: Cahir

Published: 2021-10-11; Completed: 2021-10-20; Words: 17,043

Summary: After the Battle of Sodden Hill Cahir is captured by the enemy who wants information. Which the young Nilfgaardian commander is not willing to give away easily. The Emperor of Nilfgaard is not in a forgiving mood, either. (Written before S2 of The Witcher Netflix) 

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category: Gen

Relationship: Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach & Triss Merigold

Characters: Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach; Tissaia de Vries; King Foltest of Temeria; Vernon Roche; Vilgefortz of Roggeveen; Blue Stripes special forces; Triss Merigold; Emhyr var Emreis; Rience (The Witcher); Ceallach aep Gruffyd

Additional Tags: Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Cahir whump; caretaker Triss Merigold; Torture; Aftermath of Torture; Waterboarding; magical torture; white-hot poker Execution; Whipping

Excerpt from Chapter 2 - Water: 

"Well done, Roche, as always." King Foltest patted his protege on the shoulder. "Wake the bastard up and interrogate him. I want to know exactly how many Nilfgaardians are hiding in the forest. And what they are planning."

"Your Majesty." Vernon Roche bowed at his king as the monarch was leaving the tent. Then he gave his men some quick orders. Soon one of them reappeared, a bucket filled with water in his hand. With one sweep he splashed the cold content over the black-clad figure lying on the ground face down, hands tied behind his back, his light brown hair matted with blood that was still seeping sluggishly from an ugly gash in the back of his head.

With a start, the prisoner came to. He groaned when rough hands manhandled him into a sitting position against a sturdy tent pole. His head was throbbing with pain, as was his left side. The heavy blow to his head had left him dizzy, nauseous, his vision swimming, and had he eaten anything recently, he would surely have thrown up into the face of the man that was slowly coming into more focus. He swallowed, trying to suppress another groan of pain, not very successfully though.

"You are hurting. That is good. You killed two of my men, Nilfgaardian, and shot at my king. You deserve it," the man said, sneering scornfully at his injured prisoner. "And I promise you'll hurt even more before the night is over. The degree of pain depending on your willingness to cooperate." The man made a meaningful pause to let his words sink in. "Let's start with an easy question," he then continued, venom in his voice. "What is your name, freak?"

Excerpt from Chapter 6 - A Flicker of Hope:

The mysterious hooded stranger who had totally unexpectedly appeared out of nowhere and had, for yet unknown reasons, saved him from the scaffold, pushed him through the brightly shining portal he had created outside the castle grounds only to open another portal. And another after that, and another. When the sorcerer that he doubtlessly was finally stopped hauling him through yet another portal, Cahir felt so dizzy, disoriented and nauseous that his shaking legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground. If he had eaten anything that day, he would surely have thrown up all over his rescuer's black leather boots. Fortunately, with his stomach empty, he only dry-retched a few times. Then he had a harrowing cough attack.

"Not used to portalling much, are you?" Cahir looked up, his lungs burning and eyes watering. In the dimly lit room they had landed in all he could make out of his still hooded rescuer were some strands of black hair and a pair of equally dark eyes. His voice was grating and not very pleasant. However, who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth? The mage had gotten him out of a strongly guarded castle in one piece, certainly at high risk to his own life. This, of course, left the uneasy question of why exactly. Cahir could not think of even one plausible explanation. But, no doubt, he would be informed of it sooner or later. No use bothering his spinning head about it yet.

"This was necessary, you see, to keep other mages off our track. You would not want to be captured and dragged to the scaffold again now, would you?" The sorcerer's voice was not only unpleasant but had a mocking tone to it. However, he bent down behind Cahir and tapped the iron manacles with his ring. Which made them open with a metallic click. Relief flooded through the young Vicovarian. Obviously he was not the man's prisoner. If he was, why would he free him from his shackles?

"Clean yourself up, you stink." The sorcerer screwed up his nose demonstratively. "And make yourself comfortable. My master will want to speak with you first thing tomorrow morning." Sneering through thin lips the mage magically lit some candles and a fireplace in the small room. Then he left, locking the door behind him.

Read the complete story on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34428718

[thoughtsaladblog]

Midnight Madness

It’s 12.15 a.m. and I’m stressing.

 I mean, I know how all this is going to go- it’s happened countless times and the bottom line is that in a couple of months I’m going to get bored or lose interest, but my head is such that apparently I have to go through the whole vicious fucking cycle anyway!

Lewis re-appeared. Turns out it was a problem with the phone... Not sure if I’m buying that story but he did show up the next day with his apology so there can only be two explanations for it- 1) It’s true or 2) He was with some chick when I called and he had to block me to avoid getting caught. Frankly, I’m more inclined to accept the second as more plausible.

But either way, he re-appeared. We met a couple of days ago, “for a smoke and to chill”. After smoking we put on a movie on Netflix and needless to say that what followed was sex. Nothing to write home about- awkward and unfamiliar. I wasn’t really ready for it, and the lack of having a wash before starting really put me off so my head really wasn’t in it (which meant no head for either party). Also, my sexual encounters have been few and far apart so I tend to be overly conscious- not to mention my overwhelming sense of insecurity that dominates my thoughts during, thus killing my libido. I mean, I can’t blame the poor guy for failing to make it memorable- he had to work with all of the above. I can’t imagine how he feels about it. 

Anyway, that happened. And now here I am, back to feeling like maybe I want someone to share a night like that with. Maybe I want something permanent- not with him obviously. But right now he’s the only available option and I want to lie to myself once again. I want him to lie to me, so that I can lie to myself- if only so that I can feel good for a while before the bubble bursts. I want him to hold me in his arms just so that I felt held and safe. I want him to kiss me so that I don’t feel like I’m all alone. I want to fall asleep next to him just so that I feel the warmth of his skin to make me feel comforted. I want to lie to myself about a guy who has no interest in me, in whom I also have no interest. I want to lie because the truth is suddenly all too real and sad. 

And I know this feeling will pass, because as always, something will happen that causes me to lose interest in the guy and realise that (as always) I’m too picky and I will feel like I’m better off on my own. I will be completely turned off by something he does- something other women won’t even take notice of but I will lean into as an excuse to get away. But I am yet to reach that point. For now I’m facing my midnight madness obsessing over thoughts of him, fantasizing what it would be like to talk to him and come to an agreement to have a casual something and embark on some rendezvous in Colombo and around the country, picturing late night Js and deep, meaningful chats that bring us closer. These midnight thoughts are compelling me to talk to him and I need to fight the urge, lest I get rejected in my proposition. My heart isn’t strong enough for rejection right now- but let’s be real, my body isn’t hot enough for acceptance either. Men are visual creatures, and it’s the one thing I’m lacking in. This is a reality I need to accept, and maybe change over time, but for now hopefully it helps keep me from making any stupid, unwarranted moves.