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#but it's very hard to share these interpretations with others
ceasarslegion · 16 hours
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I am aware of the irony of soap boxing about this but it's entirely possible to soap box too much, and lean into buzzkill territory where it becomes very hard to talk to you and therefore very hard to want to talk to you at all. I saw this happen a few times when I went to a con recently, which turned me off of wanting to go up and ask for the exhibitors tumblr URLs to see if they wanted to hang out more.
Specifically, I went to an anime trivia panel that included a bunch of classics like Cardcaptor Sakura, Ouran High School, Berserk, etc. Whenever one of these shows were mentioned the exhibitors went off on weird tangents to make absolutely sure everybody in the room knew how problematic they thought they were and how they don't support anything that the shows obviously (/s) did, in case you were wondering. They also made weird comments about a lovely artist who had a sign saying she had an nsfw flipbook and had no real limits for commission orders because "what if the kids here saw that??" I was thinking of going to anime karaoke until they said they were hosting that one, and I decided not to because I was put off by the possibility that they would take some kind of moral issue with whatever anime op I tried to sing.
Another one I went to, someone shared that the nanowrimo website had tons of worldbuilding and character resources and one of them INTERRUPTED HER to lean into the mic and make sure everyone in the room knew they didn't support nanowrimo and thought they were really bad and awful and that no one should use them, and the whole room felt really awkward because we were like dude??
And recently I stopped talking to one of my coworkers because he takes some kind of moral issue in every little thing I show him. I told him to watch Madoka Magica and he made it all the way to the op before slamming me about how he thought it was pedophilic and a slippery slope and "how could you watch something like that???" and refused to hear anything about how not all nudity is sexual and human bodies are just human bodies sometimes.
This makes you so freaking hard to talk to man, sometimes I think people should stop being so obsessed with if other people will think they support the worst possible interpretation of something and just chill the fuck out. It's not that deep if someone has fond memories of Ouran High School, it's just an anime. It's not that deep if someone remembers a place to get resources, it's just a website. It's not that deep if a show shows actual human bodies in non-sexual settings. Calm the fuck down.
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aroacewxs · 9 months
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i say that i express my aromanticism and asexuality proudly and loudly but i still feel out of place and insecure about it, especially around my allo friends. don't get me wrong, my allo friends are super supportive and i love them so much to bits, but when the world tells you that your identity doesn't matter, isn't valid, isn't as interesting and cool as others, it's very hard to be open about it.
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crownedwille · 2 months
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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#im like very much having a crisis right now... i mean to most ppl it isnt that serious lmaoooo#but tbh i am a loser and tumblr is 80% of my life and most of my social life#all social interactions i get are on tumblr ._.#so i dont want to keep alienating myself on it because then im just ruining it for myself and removing the only place#and source of social interaction and attention :/#i personally can not for my life comprehend this because i really dont take other peoplës venting personally#but ever since i started using twitter and tumblr i have ruined so many connections .. by venting on my own account.....#and now.. when i lost and fucked it up with the love of my life... just bc i vented and he interpreted it from his pov..#and got hurt when i wrote things abt being lonely and unwanted WHILE talking to him everyday and having him call me beautiful and care abt m#... i understand why he got hurt and i understand his pov bc it looked like i pulled away and distanced myself and only complained and that#he didnt matter to me when in fact he was EVERYTHING to me and i lived off his attention#i hate that i ruined the best thing i could ever have just bc i have this pathological need to share my every thought#like shut the fuck up... i wish i wouldve shut the fuck up and instead gushed abt how much i liked him which was what i wanted to do#my avpd just made me feel stupid bc when i did he didnt interact with those posts and then i felt embarrassed#which like i know how fucking stupid avpd and bpd makes me and i hate it but i cant stop it#god i regret it so much like my dumb ass blog isnt worth losing him over... it just isnt#only an online connection.. makes it so hard to see bc he only saw my diary where i complain he didnt see everything else :(((#so he thought that he wasnt important to me and then slowly started to detach himself from me (understandably) god i wanna die#so yeah ive started to HATE my main account. bc it has ruined so much for me. plus lately ppl have started being mean#and i get it its the internet ppl suck but i AM so fkn sensitive. and i get sad and hurt really easily#and i feel anxious abt venting bc im scared of getting a mean ask after#like... i feel so fucking alone and idk what to do. all i want to do now is vent vent vent but ive started to feel like venting is bad#and harmful and only ruins my friendships and connections and makes ppl be mean to me#i honestly wish i wouldve stopped venting every thought looooong ago#and that i had a more normal blog and had a secret vent blog and that he didnt read all my miserable posts#bc then maybe.... he wouldve actually understood how much i fkn love him and hadnt looked in other places and now i lost him#bc i really dont blame him bc i know what he is struggling with and seeing me who he cares for so much say those things...#i get it 100% and thats why im so pissed with myself for just not stopping!!!! why cant i stop????? whats wrong with me#i just feel so lonely and like no ones listening but he was listening to me i just had to be brave and go to him#plus all my venting made him think that im like in severe emotional distress every second and that i was too fragile to talk to
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llycaons · 2 months
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one of the prev posts I was like oh cql? on the url and they WERE cql...but their top tag was...bad....but I don't even have the energy to refute their nonsensical arguments for it because like that's not what shipping really is about but also THEY REALLY THINK JC IS *THE ONE* TO MAKE WWX HAPPY AND LWJ IS BORING???? incest aside like jc makes wwx MISERABLE jfc canonically yeah lwj does make wwx happy and jc is left miserable and alone due to the consequenves of his actions including actively tormenting and mocking and humiliating and trying to kill wwx. go die mad about it 😭
#like 'wow their love for each other is so crazy and all-consuming its insane to thibk some boring lan cultivator could do that for him'#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!!! their relationship is so unhealthy and marred by debt and obligations in the FIRST PLACE#and even without that yeah there's love there but they also just don't see eye to eye on so many things and jc actively impedes#wwx in things he wants or believes in and also treats him like shit like this is fully a sector of the fanbase who are just making things u#in their own head to enjoy#which would be mildly annoying if not for the fact that it's 1. INCEST#and 2. between two characters with THAT kind of history. wwx needs someone he can like...trust..#okay I guess I donhave the energy. I'm less angry at them calling lwj boring. yeah he is kind of boring but that's fine#wwx canonically doesn't think so and canonically is very happy w him#these bitches think his arguably abusive extremely immature and volatile pseudo-brother who tortured and tried to kill him is BETTER FOR HI#?????? brother jc is not better for ANYONE. there's loving someone and there's wanting to be around them and shit. like there's so much#history there it's lucky if they can even be friends again#like 🤢🤢🤢 what the fuck are you on. the narrative was pretty clear. media comprehension -100000#I don't even think this person is unintelligent or anything they just have incredibly bad and nonsensical taste#or at least used to. idk how old those posts were I fully admit#wwx with anyone besides lwj is a hard sell but jc is beyond insane for multiple reasons#even if you 'don't see them as brothers' which is an interpretation I guess they still have a horrible relationship#and jc makes wwx feel terrible bc he has a bad personality and blames wwx for all the most painful things that happened to him and he lashe#out constantly. like he canonically makes wwx miserable and forces him to prioritize jcs own emotional and physical needs. by the end he's#a little better. but he's also not the moral beacon wwx gravitates towards. he's pragmatic and callous#wwx NEEDS someone he can trust someone who shares his principles someone who will take care of him and not demand him to crush inconvenient#parts of himself and play nice. to cater to someone else's feelings#like...structurally they're so well matched this post was insane I hate c/x shippers so much 😭#cor.txt
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lakemichigans · 2 years
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alright well. alright. okay so. alright. alright.
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drchucktingle · 10 months
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i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS
okay here is what i have to say:
i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work
HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.
this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay
a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK
HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.
YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.
I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL
of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.
i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.
it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.
but it is not a simple button push.
talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.
but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot
i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect
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ms-demeanor · 5 months
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You posted about adhd and I was hoping to follow up to clarify something. I’ve explained to my partner a million times about how the borderline-hoarding mess of his space is very mentally draining to me, and he understands but we’ve both essentially accepted he won’t clean his mess because he can’t because of his adhd. You’re saying he’s actually being a shit head?
This isn't necessarily an issue of him being a shithead, but it also isn't a sustainable situation. It's not good for you and there's a level of clutter that's probably not good for him either.
Large bastard is a lot more clutter-y than I am. The solution we've come to is trying to keep our messes at least isolated from one another; he can have his messes and I can have mine, but he can have those messes in his spaces, not all over the place. Sometimes those messes migrate, and that's when it's important for him to make the effort to rein them in rather than trying and failing to make a daily effort to keep our entire shared space tidy.
I think when you say "we've both essentially accepted he won't clean his mess" what I'm hearing is resignation; you're not happy about this but you don't know what to do so you've thrown up your hands and he feels helpless and unsure of what to do to improve the situation. This is the kind of "it's fine" that isn't really fine.
I think it would be worthwhile for you to each separately think about the mess and talk about it together. Are there areas that YOU *need* to have not-messy? Both for utility and your mental health? Are there areas where you can tolerate more mess than otherwise? Are there areas that are going to be harder for him to keep the mess out of than others? Are there things he doesn't *know* about cleaning up the mess?
I'm obviously a big "communication communication communication" person so I'm going to recommend a lot of talking about stuff, which is probably going to mean a lot of thinking about and interrogating stuff. I'm going to say "talk to him about why the mess bothers you" which means you also have to really articulate to yourself why the mess bothers you (for instance I'm not actually *bothered* by a messy kitchen, but I know it's going to reflect badly on us - and me specifically b/c of presumed gender roles - if someone pops by and the kitchen is a disaster, AND a messy kitchen is going to be harder to use). Genuinely, sometimes knowing *why* something is a problem might make it easier for someone with ADHD to do something. And it's not that he doesn't care that it upsets you, it's just that "Oh if I don't wash my breakfast dishes Anon won't have clear counterspace to make lunch" might be stickier in his brain (and less hard to look at emotionally) than "this thing I forget to do upsets my partner so I should do it."
For the record, I think that people with ADHD should read up on Demand Avoidance and see if it might explain some of the issues that they have in their day-to-day life; I've seen some really unfortunate situations with friends where trying to do things that their partner needed became the subject of demand avoidance. *I* have experienced negative outcomes of demand avoidance. The solution to that, however, isn't to stop making attempts to do the thing OR to simply try harder to do as they're asked/told (which reinforces the demand), it's to work on setting up a situation where the partners' needs are not interpreted as a demand. This is fuck-off difficult and requires a lot of patience and care and many attempts to succeed and will be different for each person and relationship.
(Also for the record demand avoidance isn't *super* strongly linked to ADHD and it's not a definitive symptom; like Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, it is something that occurs in some number of people with ADHD and can be a useful lens through which to examine various behaviors; you don't need to have DA or RSD to have ADHD, and having DA or RSD also doesn't invalidate your diagnosis; they're symptoms. For me, DA often feels like "if I don't look at it, it can't get me" - If I ignore all the messages I've got they aren't real and don't have real consequences so I'll just ignore my texts. If I don't look at the vendor email about the order, the problem with the order isn't real and it won't get added to my task list. If I don't look at the requests in my inbox I can't let people down when I don't do them. It's a self-protective coping mechanism but it's *maladaptive* and I can't just ignore the vendor email or all my texts. I need to work on a way of doing the stuff that I'm avoiding in a way that makes it less stressful and doesn't hurt the people relying on me. That takes a lot of effort, personal insight, trial and error, and )
But before I dive into specifics I want to be really really clear about one thing: sometimes people are simply incompatible. Sometimes one person has such a low tolerance for "mess" and the other person has such a high threshold for "mess" that it can't be reconciled. It sucks that this can end up being a thing that people break up over, but it is MUCH better to acknowledge incompatibility as early as possible instead of spending years and years building resentment.
There used to be a great forum called MiL's Anonymous that I spent a lot of time on. It had a lot of people in a lot of difficult situations struggling to get by and hold their relationships together. The question that was used as a litmus test to approach each situation was simple: If you knew today that everything about living with this person would be the same in five years, would you stay?
Because you can't control your partner. You can't control the future. You can only control yourself and your proximity to situations that are harmful to you. If you knew, 100%, that things wouldn't get better in five years, would you be okay with staying in this relationship? If the answer is "no," then that's that. Don't worry about questions of whether or not your boyfriend is a shithead, start the process of ending the relationship because there's a good chance the situation is going to be exactly the same in five years.
If the answer is "yes," and you'd stay in the relationship regardless of whether or not things changed, then it's time to take actions to improve your life within the context of the relationship.
(No judgement on that yes or no, btw. If you would hate living like this for another five years, and you would feel like you'd wasted your time and hadn't done the things you wanted to with your life, get out. Bail. Go. It will be better for you and better for your partner if you split instead of spending half a decade building resentments and and problems that you'll have to spend another half a decade healing from.)
Also, a note: you describe your boyfriend's mess as borderline hoarding - is the issue *mess* or is the issue *clutter*? I have friends who are very tidy, but whose homes are very cluttered. They like things, they have many things, they keep many things around, but their houses are always clean and well-dusted and orderly, just with a tremendous amount of *stuff.* I am addressing all of this as though the issue is mess, not clutter. If your boyfriend's situation is clutter (the space is busy and packed with things but it is functional and clean) and your issue isn't with *mess* (things out of place, things not having a place, things that need to be cleaned up gathering in stacks, falling behind on regular chores like laundry and dishes and taking out the trash) then you definitely need to assess whether or not you are compatible.
For instance here's a room that is messy but not cluttered compared to a room that is cluttered but not messy:
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That first room is a *mess* but it would be very easy to clean up in under an hour. The second room is fairly tidy, but would take significant effort to pare down and declutter. BOTH of these can be difficult to live with but the second one is not dangerous or threatening to anyone's health. (The second one is QUITE cluttered and if every room in a house looks like this it can be overwhelming to live with; this is actually harder to deal with in a relationship than the first one in a lot of ways. I don't have a lot of advice for what to do if your partner is a high degree of tidy-but-cluttered because I don't actually think it's a problem or wrong to have thousands of books or bins full of lego or a million kitchen appliances as long as you have the space and can keep it safe and well-maintained; this is a really significant compatibility issue)
Okay, all that out of the way, here's the hard work.
Talk about this shit
Talk to your partner and define "mess." Make sure you are on the same page about what you mean when you're talking about what a messy room looks like versus what a tidy room looks like. Gather reference pictures. DRAW reference pictures.
Explain not just that the mess upsets you, but *why* and *how* it upsets you. In this context don't think of it as your boyfriend's mess, think of it as an unpleasant roommate. Discuss this using "I-statements". "When I have to pick up laundry all over the apartment, I feel like a parent more than a partner." "When there are piles of miniatures all over the table, I feel like I don't have anywhere to do things I'm interested in." "When there are dishes in the sink, I feel frustrated because I have to clean before I can feed myself."
Discuss, frankly and openly, whether he knows how to clean. I'm not trying to make excuses for him here but a lot of people with ADHD have a lot of stress and avoidance around cleaning because they spent a lot of time getting yelled at for not knowing how to clean properly.
Discuss your needs, be firm about what you require but willing to compromise. You *need* some spaces to be clean, and some spaces may be harder for him to keep clean than others. It may be MUCH harder for him to keep a bedroom tidy than it is to keep a kitchen tidy; if you need a clean and empty bedroom with everything put away and he simply cannot do that, that is a compatibility issue. But perhaps you need *your* side of the bedroom to be very orderly and can tolerate a moderate level of mess and clutter on his side. Maybe you're really really bothered by a messy kitchen, but it doesn't bug you if the dining table is covered with projects and papers. Figure out something more workable than "his mess goes everywhere and i live with it because he's incapable of cleaning" because he probably is not incapable of cleaning and you deserve to have places in your home that are comfortable for you.
Reduce friction for cleaning
Sometimes the problem isn't cleaning, the problem is the many many steps before cleaning, or not knowing where something should go when you are done cleaning. One of the absolute best things I've done for myself for cleaning my space is getting a broom holder and mounting the broom to the wall. Sweeping is now essentially thoughtless. I don't have to find the broom or pull it out from a pile of fans or go scrounging around for a dustpan it's right there on the wall, frictionless. So here are some ways to reduce the barriers to cleaning:
Make sure you and your partner both know how to use your cleaning supplies and know where those supplies are. When I switched dishwasher soap I had to re-show Large Bastard where I was storing it and how it was used, because to him what happened was the dishwasher tabs just vanished one day and he didn't know what I was putting in the machine or the process I used. He sometimes puts tools away in places that I can't see (he's more than a foot taller than me) so sometimes I can't get started on a maintenance project until he shows me where he put the battery pack for the drill.
Consider making a how-to chart to or having him make a how-to chart to keep someplace accessible so he can reference it while cleaning. Goblin.Tools Magic ToDo is great for this. Basically a lot of the time people with ADHD have trouble knowing what to do from step to step even if they've done something before, so having a step by step guide can make it easier (I have notebooks full of step-by-step guides for everything from paying for my tuition to removing licenses for my customers to weeding my yard)
Remove obstacles; don't keep cleaning chemicals in the garage in a box that's behind a stack of parts, keep them in the room you'll be cleaning. Don't keep the cleaning supplies that you use to clean the bathroom in the kitchen. Sometimes this means buying two bottles of bleach solution and two scrubbers and two sets of cleaning gloves but having fewer steps (fetch the windex, fetch the paper towels, fetch the gloves) is often the key to getting things done (open under-sink cabinet and grab windex, gloves, and paper towels that are there instead of in the kitchen).
This sort of overlaps with the next category, which is:
Create Dump Zones
One thing that I've found that seems very different between people with ADHD cleaning and neurotypical people cleaning is that neurotypical people are good at getting to a point where the cleaning is "done." They have checked off their tasks and they have finished and it is over. There are *SOME* chores that are like this (taking out the trash is a binary state, the trash has been taken out or it has not) and some chores are perpetual (horrid cursed dishes) but I think with people with ADHD, some chores that are binary for neurotypicals are actually perpetual chores. For instance "clean off the counter" is not a one and done for me. "Clean off the counter" may involve a three day reorganization project. "Clean off the counter" does not mean "wipe down the tile and put dishes away" it means assessing whether or not I need to make vegetable stock and bleaching three tea containers and reconsidering whether or not the sharps container should live somewhere else and going through the mail and figuring out what needs to be responded to and taking out the recycling and on and on and on.
We have had company at the house for the last two weeks, so I asked large bastard to clean off the dining room table, which is largely a project zone for him. Cleaning off the dining room table meant putting away his meds (and since he's a transplant patient that involves a 30 gallon rubbermade tote), throwing away some trash, and totally reorganizing his workshop. It also incidentally involved picking up a table from facebook marketplace and moving my plants, which has now involved moving my former plant rack outside (moving buckets, finding and organizing planters and gardening tools) and taking the former table to the thrift store (not done yet) and cleaning the rug that was under the former table. So "either the table is clean, or it isn't" isn't really true for us.
HOWEVER "hang on we can't eat until the table is clear so let's drive to Pico Rivera to get that console table right now" isn't a workable plan, so you create dumpzones as areas of holding between the start and the finish of the chore.
A dump zone can be a laundry basket. It can be a craft bin. It can be a back room or under your bed. It is a place to put things that you are going to deal with later because if you deal with them now it is going to derail the thing you are actually trying to do, which is set the table for dinner.
Dump zones are vital to cleaning with ADHD and I recommend them for day-to-day cleaning as well. The day-to-day dump zones might be more for you than for your boyfriend. For instance, Large Bastard works with bullets and he sheds bullets all over the house. I used to get stressed when I found bullets when I was cleaning because are these work bullets? Are these recreational bullets? Are they in testing? Do they need to be pulled? Do they go in the workshop or the office or the garage or does he need these today so they have to stay on the counter? And the answer now is "that's not my problem naughty bullets go in the jar." Which is perfectly sensible because he gets to say "mystery yarn goes in the bin" and "art supplies go in the bucket."
I feel helpless when cleaning a lot of the time. I'm frustrated and lost and I don't know where stuff goes and everything I pick up spins off into three projects in my head and every step feels like a wall to scale. Dump zones help me with that when there's pressure or a reason for cleaning beyond day to day home maintenance. People are coming over? The bedroom is a dump zone, I'll deal with that later. I'm just cleaning up because I need to? Okay I can find a permanent home for this new dish soap.
AS A VERY IMPORTANT COROLLARY TO THIS:
Active projects do not go in dump zones while you or your partner are cleaning. This may mean designating a project sanctuary area like a corner of the table or one particular chair in your main room where a project can be placed so as not to be disturbed. (if my current crochet project ends up in the yarn bin, that may mean that I don't pick the project up for another three months, it lives on the windowsill behind the couch because that's where it'll get worked on)
Do not put things away for your partner, put them in the dump zone for your partner. Your partner has to be the one to put their own stuff away in a way that works for them. I tend to find that this naturally puts a limit on the time stuff sits in the dump zone, because eventually you'll go "hey where's my thing?" and will put stuff away. If that doesn't happen, it's still generally better to have stuff in a dump zone than all over the home.
Do not decide you know what things go together from your partner's stuff and try to "put like things together." The neurotypical urge to put like things together is the mindkiller(j/k). You do not know which things are "similar" in your partner's organization schema and attempting to organize things on your own is going to end up with all of the things "organized" being functionally lost forever from your partner's perspective. Large Bastard's mom would do this and it was infuriating, she'd say "oh I put all the electronics stuff in one box" and she would mean soldering irons, transistors, ham radios, HDMI cables, and cellphone chargers. We are *still* going through boxes of stuff that she "tidied up" when he was hospitalized in 2020 and 2021.
To prevent the need for quite so many dump zones over time, you can work on setting up landing zones and "homes" for projects and tools.
Landing Zones
Landing zones are places where things go when you come inside from doing various things. Sometimes your landing zone only needs to be a tray for your wallet and keys, sometimes your landing zone needs to be a place to take off muddy boots and put a trowel and gloves down before you shower.
To make an effective landing zone, consider what behaviors you're trying to minimize and whether the people using it are ACTUALLY going to use it. For instance I was tired of the corner of my hearth getting cluttered with random junk so I hung up some hooks and put a shelf and a basket there and it became a really effective landing zone for my bag and keys and the mail, but it was VERY ineffective for Large Bastard because it's by a door that isn't the primary door he uses to enter the house. As a result I always know where my keys and bag are but he has trouble finding his keys and wallet. He tends to enter the house through our bedroom and has an overloaded valet next to the door and that's usually where his wallet ends up. Mounting a shelf to the wall above the valet and putting a basket and a hook on it will be a better place for his stuff to land. It's not that he's not using the first zone because he doesn't know that it's there, or because he doesn't care about lost time when I'm searching for my car keys after he borrows them, he's not using it because it's not by the door he uses. That's all.
I have a landing space for when I come in for gardening that's different than the one when I come in from grocery shopping. I have a landing space for when I walk into the dining room instead of the kitchen when I get home.
Landing spaces prevent stuff from piling up all over the place because they are a limited functional space that should be used frequently. Mail ONLY goes in the landing zone. If you have mystery mail or if you're not sure it's safe to toss, you put it in the landing zone. You can't let the mail get piled up too high or you won't have a space for your keys. You can't let the change in your wallet tray get too deep or your wallet is going to slide off, etc., but you also don't just put change on the coffee table or your nightstand because the landing zone is right there.
Homes for items are just what they sound like. They're the place the item goes. It lives there. My meds live on my nightstand. You would not believe how poorly I did with taking my meds on my vacation because they weren't on my nightstand. A while back large bastard lost one of his sets of sorted meds and we tore the house up looking for them because he couldn't find them in his nightstand, which is where they live. *I* found them in his nightstand because I emptied out the entire top drawer (he had only looked on the top layer) and found them underneath a radio and a hammock. Even though they were *hidden* they were in their home, so they were findable. I recently needed ink for an art class. Art supplies live in a dresser by my desk. Ink lives in the art bin or the top left drawer. The ink was not in either of these places (it was on a cabinet in the dining room behind a teacup) so it took me weeks to find it.
Sometimes the reason that ADHD spaces are so messy is because objects have been assigned homes in places that are visible and if they get moved they get lost. This is a genuinely difficult problem that requires a lot of effort to solve and can involve a lot of trial and error for creating a tidy living space. For some people, open shelving and visible storage might be a good solution. For some people, assigning a VERY clear home and inculcating that location by habit is the only way to clean up a space. For some people one very cluttered corner to at least isolate the chaos does the trick (for me and large bastard open shelving doesn't work because anything in one place for too long becomes invisible; that means that I rely on assigning things homes and large bastard relies on having contained chaos and a general idea of where to search but what that DOES NOT mean is that he is clean or tidy. His spaces look like an explosion. But he can mostly find his stuff and do what he needs to do and as long as that's limited to specific places in shared spaces I can live with it; the dining room table can be a disaster, the kitchen cannot).
People organize things differently. It often takes a while for neurotypical adults to settle into an organizational style that works for them and ADHD adults may need to settle into a new system every few months for it to continue working. The cleanup and declutter is most likely going to be a permanent project that is always going to demand some level of attention from everyone in a shared space, but "my ADHD means I can't do it" is not really going to fly. Maybe his ADHD means that he can't keep his space tidy, but it doesn't mean you can't move stuff from shared spaces into dump zones or that he can't do stuff around the house.
If he's insisting that his ADHD means that he can't clean it is possible that he's not being a shithead, he just feels helpless and doesn't know where to start and has adopted the belief that he's a useless piece of shit who can't even keep a tidy space like a grownup because he's internalized a lot of shitty attitudes (hello, my internal monologue about keeping a clean house). But it's also possible that he's just being a shithead.
It's something that's worthwhile to investigate with him. If he's unwilling to make an attempt, then he's being a shithead.
It is also not your responsibility to rehabilitate another person. If he wants to clean and it's something he feels bad about and needs some help and support with the way that someone might need help or support for learning to use a mobility aid, that is fine but you don't have to be the one who gives him that support if it's detrimental to your health, and you don't have to be the one to teach him that stuff if it's not something you're capable of. And if he is NOT interested in working on making your shared living space more accessible for you, that is not your suitcase to unpack and you just have to ask yourself the question from the start: would I stay with this person if I knew the situation was never going to change?
IDK, I'm sure a lot of this reads like "anon you must take on the emotional labor of training your partner to be an adult" but it's really meant to be more of a way of assessing yourself and your relationship. If you created landing zones do you think he'd use them? Would he get angry if you assigned a laundry basket as a dump zone for his stuff while you tidy the living room? Is living with him long-term going to be comfortable for you if nothing changes? Do you have enough of a shared definition of "mess" that you're at least in the ballpark for what counts as a clean house?
anyway good luck, and a reminder to folks that I'm compiling a bunch of adhd resources and other information on my personal website, ms-demeanor.com. It's coming along slowly but it will eventually include stuff like ADHD cleaning tips and how to tackle a hoard, so maybe keep your eye on that space.
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reiderwriter · 10 months
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Can I request a Spencer babying the reader BAU and everyone on the team is so done with it but reader is confused and oblivious...?
A/N: Thank you for your request! I've been very much feeling post-Prison/ later seasons Spencer recently, so I hope you enjoy this fic!
Warnings: mostly fluff, implied age-gap, slight mentor/mentee dynamic.
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Your first year in the BAU would've been tough had it not been for Doctor Spencer Reid.
It was tough still, but without him, you don't think you'd have been able to handle much of it. He'd been your mentor through each case, taking you under his wing when he wasn't on academic leave, teaching his criminology courses at the FBI Academy.
Those weeks were the hardest, and you found yourself moping about in the office, texting him once or twice a trip for advice.
On one particularly hard case, he'd come back into the office after you'd text. Not to consult on the case, but just to drop you off a chamomile tea and a pastry to brighten your day that little bit.
When he was back, your days were great. He knew so much, and you learnt so much from him so quickly, eagerly consuming his every word. You were so eager to please him that you often forgot others around the two of you.
“Spencer, if you're done fawning after Y/N we have a case to work on,” Emily gently chastised the man as he pulled out your chair for you, ready to sit down to hear the details of your next crime.
“Oh, Emily, thank you, but it's okay. Doctor Reid was just being considerate, I'm sure he'd have done it for anyone.” The shared glances around the room were filled with glib secrecy, but no-one commented further, leaving you slightly baffled.
Those shared looks between the other members of your team had become more common as of late, with each one more worrisome than the next. There was something unsettling about being the only one out of the loop, and as the newest member of the team, and the youngest, it often felt disheartening.
“Y/N, don't worry. Being the youngest member of any team is tough, but you're smart and you're holding your own.” With a pat to your head he walked away, lifting the weight off your shoulders slightly but not fully. You needed to get to the bottom of the BAU's non-verbal communications, and you needed answers.
Your first technique was interrogation. Surely one of them would break and tell you if you laid out your thoughts and feelings clearly.
Surely not, you found, as each member casually and softly blew you off.
“Y/N, you just need to think carefully about how certain members of the team act towards you. How familiar they are. How overly familiar they are.” Tara had at least told you that much, bit it had left you just as confused as the radio silence from the others.
“Everyone has behaved very professionally with me. You've all been very welcoming up to this point, which I appreciate greatly.”
“I wouldn't count gifting you flowers for your first successful case as the most professional act, Y/N,” she said as she sipped her coffee. “But I suppose that is just up to interpretation.
Doctor Reid had sent you flowers after you finished your first case. But there had been extenuating circumstances in that case. You'd both worked on the geographical profile on that case, and together had figured out the species of flower the unsub was using was only cultivated on one local flower orchard. It had cracked the case open and you'd found your unsub hours later.
So the flowers were an extension of that small joint success. That was all.
Your second attempt at figuring out what was going on was observation.
Partially taking Tara’s advice, you tried your best to track the moments when each of the weary looks would come your way.
Overwhelmingly, they seemed to be directed towards Doctor Reid whenever the two of you interacted.
You had to gently inform him of this, before it interrupted both of your abilities to work.
“Doctor Reid, do you know why Emily and Rossi are both currently watching us from between the blinds in their offices?” You whispered to the man, leaning in close to his ear. You were quite sure he didn't know, but a question seemed as good a way as any to broach the topic.
“I do, yes. It's best if you ignore them.”
His nonchalance in the matter shocked you, so sure you were that this would be news to him. You waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't.
“Why are they staring at us?” You finally managed to force the words out in a small squeak, forcing his eyes back to yours.
“Don't worry about it for now, I'll handle it.” He smiled down as you, and the bright gesture washed away more of the tension you'd been feeling in the office. You smiled back at him as he rose from his desk chair and carried himself to the stairs. You giggled when he winked down at you, just as you noticed Emily frantically hurrying away from her office window as Spencer knocked on her door.
As much as he told you to not worry about it all though, you really couldn't help yourself. You found yourself growing more clumsy under the watchful eyes of your entire team, galling more times than you'd care to admit into Doctor Reid's arms. He always caught you, though, and you were thankful you never did yourself serious injury.
You finally got the answers you'd craved out on a case about a month into your struggles.
There was something slightly unsettling about the way the female Sheriff was paying attention to Doctor Reid, and it made you uncomfortable. Your mouth ran dry when she touched his arm, but a small part of you warmed up again when he shrugged her off. Until, at least, you heard him explain why.
“I'm sorry, I'm a germophobe, so I'd really prefer you not touch me.” His voice was calm and steady; it really didn't seem like he was lying.
“You're not pulling my leg? I'm sorry if I came on too strong, but-”
“Why would I pull your leg, I said I don't like physical touch?”
“Well, there was that young girl earlier, Y/N was it? You had your hand on her back as you walked in, so I didn't think…”
The woman had made a good point, and you crept closer to the edge of the door to hear Doctor Reid - Spencer's response.
“Sheriff, if we're done here, do you think I could get back to my job?” You were almost disappointed in the change of topic, but you weren't all that sad to see the Sheriff remove herself from the room. Slipping in behind her you decided to test the new theory that had slipped into your mind in the last minutes.
You called out to him to grab his attention as you walked into the room but before he had the chance to turn and greet you, you threw your arms around his shoulders and pressed your body down against his, enveloping him in a back hug.
It was quite possibly the most familiar position you'd been in with him, but really it wasn't all that different from your usual proximity.
Unlike when the Sheriff casually brushed against him, he didn't stiffen, didn't pull away, but instead melted into your touch, looking up at you with a large grin.
You stood shocked for a minute before grinning back.
“Spencer, I think I know why everyone has been watching us for the last few weeks.” You said, causing his eyes to panic slightly as he acknowledged your words.
“The, uh, the Sheriff was just in here talking about a development either some of the DNA test results-” He desperately tried to change the subject, but you were locked in now, spinning his chair around to face you more as you came eye-to-eye with him.
“I know why the Sheriff was in here, Spencer, I heard it all.”
“It's not what you think,” you paused for a moment as your brow furrowed, trying to figure out if you'd somehow caught the wrong end of the stick.
“So our coworkers haven't been waiting for you to ask me out, having noticed large changes in your body language and attitude around me?”
“It's….exactly as you think.” His face was flushed with pink and your heart skipped a beat at the man in front of you. But you still had some questions.
“And you knew, but you didn't say anything to me despite the fact that I bought it up multiple times?”
“I'm…I'm not good with words," he frowned
“Are you good with dates?”
“Excuse me?”
“You're going to take me on a date when we get back to Quantico. After giving it some thought, Doctor Reid, it seems I've become quite enamoured of you.” You dropped into his lap then, sitting there like a cat pleased to take up residence on its owners legs. He stuttered for a few seconds but then found his voice again, face lighting up.
“Spencer. Please, Y/N, call me Spencer.”
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moonastro · 6 months
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Juno persona chart
the moon in the house
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what is a juno persona chart? looking into juno persona chart gives more detailed insight of how the relationship and marriage overall of you and your spouse will be like. it also describes them in a sense as well. The Greek Goddess Juno is described to rule over love and marriage and hence why the asteroid is looked into for that theme.
the moon rules over emotions, comfort and your most inner feelings. in the juno persona chart, the moon represents emotional connections, intimacy and the nurturing qualities within the marriage.
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reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.
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moon in 1st house: this placement gives the impression of needing and having the urge to help and nurture their partner. this placement tends to give their other half a very self aware approach to their emotions, this may cause them to share and express it openly in the relationship. they are conscious about their emotions and this is the type to show how they feel on their face- their facial expressions are very strong. deep down this placement takes pride in their ways of dealing with their emotions and how they show it to their partner. since they have very expressive facials they may expect others to know what they are feeling without the need to talk about them. marriage will be full of affirmations about each others pride and existence.
spouse can have natal moon in aries, 1st house, fire sign.
moon in 2nd house: emotional connections are very common with this placement. seeking for financial security withing the relationships can be a priority here. this placement can definitely cause a couple to have good careers and just overall very career focused and determined- very hardworking. this placement calls for attaching themselves very easily to their partner so be careful not to become possessive over each other. another thing with this placement is that they usually feel that they need to work hard in order to allow themselves to rest and have their comfort, and these individuals love their comfort so they will thrive for it. in marriage as a whole, can be good with nurturing each others emotional states and good at making each other feel better. for example if your partner is having a bad day, you will be the first person they'll come to reassure themselves. both parties love to eat and have a good hearty meal together. i feel like it can bring nostalgia when you have food with your other person and it becomes a staple in your every day routine. it can be a simple snack that changes the days mood for this placement. speaking of moods, the mood of the marriage can fluctuate and can sometimes feel out of the blue when the change does happen without any context.
spouse can have their natal moon in taurus, 2nd house, earth sign.
moon in 3rd house: the moon here give attentive tendencies towards the way the couple communicates with each other. they feel each others sudden moves and are sensitive about the comments the other has to say. i feel like talking can be comforting and just sharing how each others day went and what little errands they did that day and overall making one another think about a question can make the other feel better. this placement may like to vary their way of communicating and sharing their interests. talking about each others trips that they took or about school when they were younger can make one another feel excited and comforted and it can be something one another can relate and ask questions about. like why did you do that, how did that happen? and so on. there can be emotions shared when talked about each others life when you were younger and the neighbourhood that you lived at that time, it may hold some emotional memories from that time.
spouse can have their natal moon in gemini, 3rd house, air sign.
moon in 4th house: family dynamics may play a significant role in shaping the individual's approach to relationships. This placement understands and respects their family values and traditions, and may prioritize building a family of their own. Conversely, this placement may also indicate that the individual themselves are nurturing and caring towards their partner. They may naturally take on the role of providing emotional support and creating a comforting environment within the relationship. security within the marriage is important. this placement is very supporting and empathetic for their other half. if their partner is hurt, they are hurt, they feel what they feel very easily and it can be quite consuming.
spouse can have their natal moon in cancer, 4th house, water sign.
moon in 5th house: Individuals with this placement may express their emotions most strongly within romantic relationships. They may seek partners who appreciate their romantic gestures and who provide them with emotional warmth and affection in return. There is often a strong connection between emotional expression and creativity in relationships. These individuals may find fulfillment in creative pursuits with their partners, such as artistic projects or hobbies they enjoy together. The 5th house also relates to children, so individuals with this placement may have a nurturing and protective instinct toward their own children or those of their partner. They may prioritize creating a loving and supportive environment for their family.
spouse can have their natal moon in leo, 5th house, fire sign.
moon in 6th house: Their sense of emotional well-being may be closely tied to the environment in which they work and the people they interact with on a daily basis. This placement also suggests that the individual may seek partners who share similar values regarding work ethic, service, and daily routines. Additionally, the Moon in the 6th house of the Juno persona chart may indicate that the individual's emotional state can be influenced by their health and overall well-being. They may need to maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle in order to feel emotionally stable and fulfilled. this placement is a healer, their doings are a work of art and the couple instantly heal each others vibe. this placement has lots of compassion, devotion and empathy.
spouse can have their natal moon in virgo, 6th house, earth sign.
moon in 7th house: emotional balance is important to this placement, the couples emotions can be a projection of one another. this can lead to often getting on each others nerves. like the dramatic arguments that married couples have but make up like after 5 minutes that you see in rom coms. there may be lots of reactions and feedback from your partner when you show your emotional side to them. this placement reminds me of when one person starts crying the other starts crying as well, so you feel and experience the same thing together. there is also lots of freedom on expressing your inner feelings to your partner. overall this is a beautiful placement as your partner is the one to find your emotions beautiful and can just find your flaws mesmerising.
spouse can have their natal moon in libra, 7th house, air sign.
moon in 8th house: this placements duty is to keep the stability of the relationship strong. they may feel like there needs to be certain rules and regulations when it comes to emotions between the marriage. however, feelings and emotions are DEEP and STRONG for one another. so big that it can lead to control. both parties can become a therapist for one another, giving advice on problems, listening very attentively and most importantly giving great advice. talking about the occult and eery topics can cause some sort of comfort to each other. also trauma dumping is big for this placement. like sharing the deepest and most secretive occurrences can occur due to each other trusting one another very well and feeling the need to tell the other what they had been storing forever.
spouse can have their natal moon in scorpio, 8th house, water sign.
moon in 9th house: for this placement, travelling and taking time off from society is very healing for this relationship. constantly learning each others way of dealing with emotions and exploring each others ways of dealing with them is something common here. humour can be something that connects both parties especially when one is feeling down, making each other laugh is healing. comedy and mass media can bring comfort to both parties, being goofy and joking around is common for this placement. spirituality and mindfulness can connect the couple and can bring comfort in the relationship. perhaps its a belief or daily ritual that connects both parties.
spouse can have their natal moon in sagittarius, 9th house, fire sign.
moon in 10th house: this placement like to lead when dealing with their partners emotions. they like to control how the other is feeling and how they feel as well, this may manifest one to not express their emotions for no one which creates this poker face persona. this placement can get very stressed and constantly worry about the financial situations in the relationship however, will most likely keep it to themselves and hardly address the situation and figure it by themselves. emotions within the marriage is controlled when in public. however, your other half's achievements and success can make you feel very happy and it may feel like you succeeded as well.
spouse can have their natal moon in capricorn, 10th house, earth sign.
moon in 11th house: this placement may seek independence in their relationship. this placement feels deeply and is empathetic for those around them, this just reminds me of someone attentively and actively listening to you when you share your emotions to them. this is quite a social attached placement so bonding over friends, acquaintances, social media is common with this placement. they feel like they need to have a social life outside their marriage to find balance between the two. each party sees the beauty in each others emotional state and can make them love them even more or be attracted to them mor after seeing their emotional side. sharing aspirations to one another is a positive aspect to this placement as it can lighten up the mood of each other by feeling proud of each other and overall hyping one another up.
spouse can have their natal moon in aquarius, 11th house, air sign.
moon in 12th house: the relationship may strengthen whenever the couple gives one another space and time to themselves. (i see lots of marriages that each has their own rooms in order to give each other enough space to allow themselves to function properly). however, this placement can cause addictions due to being in a negative state while being in the relationship. nevertheless, couples bond better when they are alone and in peace. mentally, it can feel like your partner is not even there at times (they can isolate or just keep their distance from you) and it may keep you second guessing. there is also high expectations that this placement may have of their partner which can cause disappointments.
spouse can have their natal moon in pisces, 12th house, water sign.
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thank you for your time, have a lovely day.
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organize your week like this to be closer to the best version of yourself
i interpret the process of becoming our best version as climbing a ladder, on each step, we learn something new that serves us, and the next we complement it with something new, and so on until we reach the end and after many small habits we have become that version we wanted to be. little by little we are learning and although sometimes it is complicated to climb because of the adversities that may arise we can always take up the path again and put into practice what we have learned. that said, today i want to share a method that i have created to organize our habits and thus fulfill them more effectively and feel motivated. in this post i will only present some examples, you have to apply it to your own situation and my recommendation is to start now even with small habits that will be the ones that will lead you to success. i recommend that you try it for this week and write down your results, if it has worked for you keep using this "organization method" and adding new habits or increasing its time.
organize by categories.
create groups to categorize the habits you want to implement in your life, for example like this (the habits are examples, use your own)
🌿 health (body and nutrition)
10 minutes of exercise every day
30 minutes of walking every day
drink a lot more water
start eating consciously
one self-care day a week, for example on friday. we can take this day more relaxed and take more care of ourselves, dedicate more time to our personal and mental care.
do massage with the quartz roller and gua sha
make an appointment for nails, hairdresser, spa, eyelashes or even go to a coffee shop with yourself.
use a face mask and hair mask
🌿 personal growth
read 10 pages a day
listen to personal growth podcasts or audiobooks (choose one and listen to it all week long)
choose an affirmation and write it down every day
record in a diary or an app your mood and what you did during the day.
create a to-do list of what you will do for the day (the night before)
choose a video of affirmations and listen to it every day at a time that suits you best
🌿 studies
study about what you are studying or training for.
dedicate e.g. 20-30 minutes each day to study or review.
study a new language, 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week.
🌿 hobbies
1 - 2 hours to what you enjoy doing (depends on the day and your schedule)
you can write down in a notebook the groups you want to choose for yourself and then the habits you are going to implement, even if they are very small, for example 5 minutes of daily exercise, that is a good start.
to stay focused and not fall into old habits we can also replace the old habits with new ones that we want to implement in this way.
old habit: too much time on instagram new habit: reading or listening to an audiobook while i take a walk. or even just 15 minutes of social media a day.
other examples:
drinking soda or alcoholic beverages > drinking a lot more water and starting to drink natural juices.
watch a lot of series on netflix (or any streaming platform) > read or listen to podcasts/audiobooks that nourish my mind.
overthinking, worrying > meditating for about 5 minutes
lying in bed without doing anything > organizing my room
think in negative > think about the things you would like to happen to you
other tips to connect with your best version
write in your diary how you would act, be and what habits your best version would have. this will give you clarity about what you want and you will feel closer to that because you will know how to act.
establish small habits to start with and take it as a kind of game or test during this week. don't push yourself too hard.
at times when you don't know how to act or react, think about how your best version would act and what it would do.
write down things you are proud of or would like to be proud of.
if you are easily distracted or do not know what to do at any given moment, set alarms to know what to do at that moment.
if you use social media a lot, set a limit of use.
choose habits that you know you will be able to do easily, that will make you gain confidence and little by little establish those habits in which you have procrastinated or which are more difficult for you.
think big, open yourself to the possibilities that life offers you every day and keep a positive attitude towards any situation.
apps i recommend: habit: it serves to keep track of your habits and also get organized, it's a kind of to-do list. daylio: you can record your mood, what you did during the day and your habits, it also allows you to write and add photos. it is very complete, it can be used as a digital diary. notion: to get organized.
duolingo: if you want to learn a language a few minutes a day will be enough. i learned a lot of grammar in english thanks to this, which works if you practice daily.
and as always my blog is about this and there will be many more related posts in addition to the existing ones, all to be our best version 🤍 in fact if you try it i would love to know your results.
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novy2sirius · 25 days
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৻ꪆ my interpretation of venus synastry overlays
venus is the planet of romance and is related to socializing/creating relationships as well. when your venus is in someone’s house it can tell about the connection you have with someone, how close of a relationship you have with them, and how well you two get along in general. do not copy my work or rewrite this on your socials <3
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♡⃕ venus in 1h synastry - romantically the venus person falls hard for the 1h person with this synastry. the venus person has strong attraction to the 1h persons appearance and personality. platonically this aspect indicates the venus person adores the 1h person and wants to befriend them (even in a non romantic situation). i would say this is one of the most beautiful aspects for romance though because it makes the venus person completely fall in love with who the 1h person is, simply for them just being them. there are times when you see this aspect in a friendship where the venus person will be very jealous of the 1h person though
♡⃕ venus in 2h synastry - romantically, the venus person feels stability in their life when the 2h person is around. the venus person feels drawn to the 2h person because they make them feel calm and at peace. the 2h person may buy a lot of gifts for the venus person which the venus person adores. this aspect can also indicate bonding over your traumas together because you share similar life experiences. platonically this could also be a good aspect if both people are patient. it can create strong care for one another and admiration for each other
♡⃕ venus in 3h synastry - the venus person loves listening to the 3h person talk (about anything) and adores them. this can indicate the venus person finds the 3h person very charming. there is a possibility of this manifesting in a negative way depending on the other aspects involved in two people’s synastry. it could indicate at worst lots of drama and gossip being spread about the 3h person by the venus person since venus is also associated with socializing (not just romance) and the 3h is associated with gossip
♡⃕ venus in 4h synastry - the venus person adores the comfort they feel around the 4h person. this can indicate feeling at home when you’re around someone and not feeling like you need to put on a show. this synastry is often called “boring”, but that’s only the case if you’re someone who doesn’t like emotional security in a relationship and is looking for a romance filled with constant ups and downs and chaos (fatal attraction vibes). this synastry is more like soulmate vibes. peace. care. affection. the opposite of how toxic relationships can be, of course depending on what your other aspects are in your synastry together
♡⃕ venus in 5h synastry - the venus person craves attention from the 5h person and loves spending time with them. this can indicate feeling really happy with the 5h person and wanting to be around them all the time. the venus person usually finds the 5h person to be very entertaining, funny, and attractive. at worst this could indicate more short term love if there aren’t other synastry aspects indicating something long term. this aspect can also be really good for sexual chemistry
♡⃕ venus in 6h synastry - the venus person’s life improves a lot when surrounded by the 6h person consistently. the venus person adores the 6h person for their healthy and put together life style or may have the urge to improve their life because they’re motivated by seeing the 6h person doing so. at worst this can indicate being too judgmental toward each other or critical. possibly loving the 6h persons pet more than them as well because humans suck (not talking from personal experience or anything)
♡⃕ venus in 7h synastry - this is one of the best aspects you can have for romance in synastry. this indicates a long term relationship and having mutual deep admiration for one another. you likely both want to be committed to each other and truly put in effort long term rather than just relying on the feeling of love to guide you in your relationship. this aspect could also indicate an enemies to lovers dynamic. platonically, this could indicate being enemies at worst, but at best having lots of love for each other
♡⃕ venus in 8h synastry - this aspect is over-hated in my personal opinion. yes 8h energy can at times bring hatred, but the 8h also is associated with things like magnetism, intimacy, and infatuation. sure when unhealthy (low vibrational) this aspect could bring unhealthy obsession and attachment to one another, but at best it indicates having a super close bond in which you feel like you can tell each other anything and feel you can trust each other deeply. this is also good for sexual chemistry. platonically, it could indicate a toxic friendship sometimes, but when it manifests in a higher vibrational way it can just indicate a friendship with lots of loyalty
♡⃕ venus in 9h synastry - the venus person admires the 9h person for their free spirited nature. this can indicate two people having a lot of fun with each other and laughing a lot together. it can also indicate a long distance relationship or traveling a lot together. this is a fun aspect, but it can also indicate lack of committment at worst
♡⃕ venus in 10h synastry - this can be a big indication of dating similar to venus in 1h/7h synastry. people always describe this aspect as working together and falling in love and things like that, which can be true, but there’s so much more to it than that. the 10h is associated with status (including relationship status), so this can indicate when meeting there’s a change in both of your relationship status’ and you begin dating. this can also indicate the venus person admiring and having a crush on the 10h person before even meeting them
♡⃕ venus in 11h synastry - this indicates being soulmates since the 11h is the house of soulmates due to derivative astrology (especially if you both have this aspect mutually). it can also indicate a friends to lovers situation or meeting online and being online lovers. platonically, it can indicate being online besties or being really good friends in general. at worst it could indicate chaos in a relationship or disloyalty occurring since the 11h is associated with rebellion
♡⃕ venus in 12h synastry - this aspect can indicate the venus person secretly admires the 12h person or is very fascinated by them. platonically, it could mean the venus person is very inspired by the 12h person and wants to do things they do all the time (at worst copies everything they do too much). romantically, this can indicate intense spiritual love and that you may have known one another in a past life. it at worst could also indicate lots of lies or secretly hating one another and not finding out about it till later
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lynxastrology · 1 month
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𝕭𝖑𝖚𝖓𝖙 𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖞 𝖔𝖇𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 💥
Disclaimer (tw): These are just based on my personal interpretations. I do not mean to slander/ put down any placements. I’m just sharing my opinion on the following placements.
🩸 Most of the leo rising women i have met are wannabe popular attention seeking girls. These people are so desperate for attention and validation its sad to watch.
🩸 Jupiter square pluto indicates a person who is hungry for power and authority. These people literally thrive on bossing around people and treating them like shit.
🩸 Underdeveloped pisces sun men are untrustworthy. These are the type of men who would pretend to be loyal and honest but would be snakes and cheaters behind your backs 🚩.
🩸 Women with lilith squaring ascendant are brave imo. These women have gone through so much shit and they still manage to be sexy and confident.
🩸 Underdeveloped scorpio + cancer + leo in a chart is one of the worst combinations to have. It can make a person very desperate for power, attention and validation from people 🍼.
🩸 Some of the taurus mars i’ve met just pretend to act like they are tough but they pussy out when it comes down to a fight 😂. it’s all talk and no show with some of them.
🩸 Mars in the 7th house are some of the fakest people i’ve met. These people have so many personalities and are unreliable. When they are faced with a confrontation, these people find it so hard to be assertive. Some of them are too nice to a point where it’s fake.
🩸 Underdeveloped scorpio, leo and sagittarius placements in a chart can make someone a clout chaser and use others for their own benefit. I used to have friends with these placements and i cut them off cuz they were so fake and two faced 🚩.
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cocobeanncteez · 2 months
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Song Series One-shot: Choi San — Into You
Genre: SMUT (MDNI / 18+), fluff, idol au, fwb to lovers au
Pairing: ateez San x idol!reader (fem)
Word Count: 3.7k
Warnings/content: heavy making out, dry humping, breast play, oral sex (f receiving) / cunnilingus, clit play, fingering, hand job, cum eating (f), vaginal penetration, protected sex (pill), multiple orgasms, aftercare, pet names (sweetheart, baby, good girl, pretty girl), praising, sorry if I missed anything!
Disclaimer: Please note that my Song Series One-shots are purely based on how I personally interpret the lyrics of the songs I chose for this series. It is not based on the music video (if it has one).
Song Inspiration: Into You by Ariana Grande
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You watched the stage lights dim, casting a soft glow over the bustling, cheering crowd, various colored lightsticks twinkling like little stars. Your group stepped into the backstage area, and a familiar rush of adrenaline coursed through you while a staff member helped you take your in-ear monitors off.
Tonight’s performance at a major music festival had been electric, your voice carrying through the venue like a siren’s call. Your group had been practicing very hard for this festival, and your body was begging for some well-deserved rest and some food.
But now, amidst the crowd of technicians, staff, and fellow artists backstage, you searched for one person: Choi San.
“Good job out there, Y/N,” your group's leader said and pats you on the shoulder. You offered her a quick smile in return, but your eyes continued scanning the area. She smirked at you and left you alone, knowing exactly who you were searching for.
Then you spot him, leaning against the far wall, his gaze already fixed on you. San’s dark eyes glittered with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. He straightened up, pushing away from the wall. He strides towards you, his eyes scanning you from head to toe, mentally thanking your stylists for putting you in such a great outfit that really highlighted your beautiful features and hugged your body.
“Y/N,” he greets, his voice a low rumble. You bowed to him as he was your senior in this industry, knowing that there are people around that could be observing the two of you very closely. “You were incredible out there," he complimented.
San looked visibly exhausted as Ateez had performed right before your group did. He wanted to lie down and close his eyes, but he would never miss the uncommon opportunity to watch you perform on stage. Despite the tiredness, he still looked like he was going for a magazine photoshoot.
You laughed lightly, though the sound is tinged with nervous excitement from seeing him after weeks. “Thanks, San. You weren’t so bad yourself." Your eyes couldn't help but scan his muscular arms, marveling at how built he was. He seemed to have gained more muscle from the last time you saw him weeks ago.
He smirked, a teasing glint in his eye. “Just not bad, huh?”
“You know what I mean,” you replied, rolling your eyes playfully. “What’s up?”
San’s expression turns serious, his gaze piercing. He looked at his surroundings before shifting his gaze back to you. “Can we talk somewhere private?”
Your heart skips a beat. “Sure, follow me, I know a place.”
It hadn’t always been this way—the two of you lost in each other’s orbit. In fact, the first time you met San was far from the intense, passionate moment you now shared. It was at an after-party of an awards show a year ago, a glitzy affair full of laughter, music, and mingling with fellow idols.
You were standing by the bar, nursing a drink and chatting with some fellow idol friends when you felt a presence beside you. Turning, you found San leaning casually against the counter of a bar, a mischievous smile on his lips.
When the bartender approached him, he gently cleared his throat. "One chocolate martini with extra chocolate liqueur, please," he ordered, and you couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, utterly fascinated by his choice of cocktail.
“Y/N, right?” he asked when he noticed he caught your attention, his voice smooth.
You nodded, intrigued. “And you’re San. Your group's been killing it lately.”
He chuckled, a low, warm sound, and you noticed his cute dimples. “Thanks, that's kind of you to say," he said, "I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I’m a fan of your work.”
You felt a flush of pleasure at his words, and your heart was beating rapidly. “Thank you, and I'm a big fan of your work too," you said, taking a sip of your drink. "So, what brings you here?”
“Just looking to unwind a bit,” he replied, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. “Maybe meet some interesting people.”
The night had flowed effortlessly from there. You found yourselves in deep conversation, talking about everything from music to dreams and fears. There was an undeniable chemistry, a pull that neither of you could ignore.
It was no surprise when, later that night, you ended up in a quiet, secluded corner of the party's venue, lips locked in a fervent kiss. The taste of him, the chocolate you could taste on his lips, the feel of his hands on your skin—it was intoxicating.
That night had been the first of many. Whenever your groups crossed paths, you found yourselves drawn to each other, sneaking away for stolen moments of passion and connection. Each encounter only deepened the bond between you two, making it harder to deny the feelings that had grown.
Presently, you led him to a secluded corner of the venue, away from prying eyes and eager ears, no cameras in sight; this was a place you found when you had a mental breakdown during an awards show and needed a place to cry.
The muffled sounds of the ongoing concert created a bubble of intimacy around you two. San steps closer, his presence overwhelming.
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.
You swallow hard, your pulse quickening. “Yeah?”
He nods, his eyes never leaving yours while he stepped even closer to you. “I can barely breathe when you’re around, Y/N. It’s like you’ve got this hold on me, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Your breath catches in your throat. “San...” He was so close, and you realized that he indeed got bigger since the last time you saw him. The new haircut and dyed navy blue hair made his features look sharper. Half his abs were covered by the black leather crop top he was wearing, and his pants seemed to be hanging a little lower than what you saw on the screen when he was performing before. You wanted to get even closer to him; you wanted to cross the line.
San’s voice broke through your little reverie. “Remember the first time we met?”
You smiled, nodding. “At that party. You were so confident.”
He laughed softly. “I was nervous as hell. But there was something about you, Y/N. I couldn’t stay away.”
“And now we’re here,” you murmured, your hand reaching out to his face, fingers tracing the line of his jaw.
“Yeah,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. “And I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
The temperature in the area seemed to rise, the air thick with anticipation. You knew that this was a turning point, a moment that would define whatever came next. And you were ready, ready to take that leap with San.
He takes your hand, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through you. “I don’t want to play games anymore. I need to know if this is real, if we’re real.”
You squeeze his hand, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours. “It feels real to me, San. But it’s dangerous, you know that. With everyone watching us…” One mistake and a scandal could ruin both your careers.
San steps even closer, placing a finger under your chin to tilt your head back, his lips just inches from yours. “A little danger never scared me, Y/N. What scares me is not knowing what we could be.”
Your heart races as his words sink in. The air between you crackles with unspoken desire. “So, what do we do?”
His eyes darken with determination. “We take a chance. No more waiting, no more hiding.”
You nod, your decision made. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
San’s lips curve into a slow, confident smile. “Then come here.”
When you finally pull away at the interruption of the crowd's cheering when another group finished performing, both of you are breathless. San’s forehead rests against yours, his eyes closed in bliss. "Come over tomorrow?" he mumbled.
He pulls you into his arms, the world fading away as your lips meet in a kiss that’s been weeks in the making. The passion between you is undeniable, a fire that’s been waiting to ignite. You lose yourself in the moment, the taste of him, the feel of his body against yours. This was dangerous. This was scandalous.
And oddly, that's how you wanted it.
You didn't catch what he said. "Huh?"
Checking your appearance in your bathroom mirror one last time, you shoved your wallet, keys, and your phone into your bag. You switched your bedroom lights off before you tip-toed to your apartment door.
He moved to place a kiss below your ear. "Come over tomorrow night... my apartment," he whispered. "I'll pick you up."
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"Going somewhere, honey?" you heard a familiar voice behind you, and you gasped in shock. "God! Maya, you scared me," you said to your fellow band mate and noticed she seemed to be going somewhere as well. "Where are you going?"
She giggled, "With you, of course." You raised an eyebrow. "I wanted to see Seonghwa, so he's coming with San to get us," she elaborates and you smirk at her. "Anyway, lets go, Y/N, they're here."
The two of you put your face masks and hats on before making your way downstairs to the parking lot.
"So you and Seonghwa... since when?" you ask and she blushes.
"Right before their Europe tour," you says and your eyes widened.
"That's like, what, five months now?"
She nodded. "We're keeping it secret. You and San are the only ones that know now."
The familiar black car came into view and you and Maya quickly got into the backseat. You greet both the boys and notice how Seonghwa's eyes sparkled when he saw Maya. You were genuinely surprised they managed to keep this a secret.
San began driving, and thankfully there was barely any traffic on the road, so you reached earlier than expected. The security system in this apartment complex was incredible, so you felt at ease.
The four of you made small conversation in the elevator when you reached, and as soon as you entered San's apartment, he was pulling you away to his room.
"There's cake in the fridge, Y/N," Seonghwa called out behind you. You yell out a quick thanks before San shut his bedroom door and pinned you against the door. He took your mask and hat off, tossing it aside on the little table by the door, his own mask following.
San placed his arms on the door on either side of you, trapping you in between his arms. "Hi," he says, dimples showing, causing butterflies to flutter in your stomach. God, you're so into him.
You chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck. "You're so cute, Sannie," you say, pecking his lips. He giggles in response, returning a peck on your lips.
"What do you wanna do?" he asks, dragging you further in his room and making you sit down on his bed. San's room wasn't unfamiliar to you, having been here at least ten times already. You always loved how clean and tidy his room was, and how it was laced with his scent.
"Hmm, anything you want," you reply.
"How about a movie? Sounds good?" You nodded and San moved to get under the sheets, pulling you into his arms, putting the blanket over you both. He reached for the TV remote on his bedside table with one arm, while the other was still around you. You watched his arms flex, and you thanked god that he was wearing a tank top right now.
While he scrolled through the list of movies, you were stroking his arm, marveling at the bigger muscles. His bicep looked so juicy, you couldn't help the thought of wanting to bite it.
And your impulsive thoughts won.
Realizing what you did, you slowly turned to look at San who had an eyebrow raised at your actions. Before you could explain yourself, he moved to hover on top of you, capturing your lips with his own, kissing you hard. You arch your legs and pull him closer to you by his back so that he was now in between your legs, his chest pressed against yours. You moan softly when you felt his boner rub against your clothed clit.
The temperature seemed to be rising the more you kissed, and San pulled away to catch his breath— except, his way of catching his breath was trailing kisses from your lips to your neck.
"Look what you started," he whispered against your neck, placing open mouthed kisses, being very careful to not leave marks on your skin despite how desperately he wanted to.
He pulled away to look at you. "I was waiting for you to make the first move before I did," you say, your tongue poking out slightly to wet your lips, catching San's attention.
You moved your hands down the sides of his body, stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants. You slip a finger inside to hook it under the band of his underwear, pulling it away from his skin and then letting it go so that it slapped against his skin.
"Y/N," he starts, but you push him by the shoulder so his back was against the bed, and you straddle his lap. Your fingers grasp the ends of your t-shirt before you lift it up and over your head, tossing it to the floor. Your chest was covered by a lacey bra, and San could see the color of your nipples through it. You leaned down to kiss him, hungrier and hotter. His hands explored the exposed skin of your back while you slowly grinded on his hard cock, earning a low moan from him.
San sucked in a breath at your bold actions. He wanted you. He wanted you so bad. He's held himself back so much. The two of you still haven't crossed the line, keeping it strictly to making out.
And you wanted to change that. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you.
San's hand hovered over the hook of your bra, and he pulled away from the kiss to look at you. "Can I?" he asks and you instantly nod, letting him unhook your bra and toss it aside.
"God, you're so pretty," he says, leaning forward to place a kiss in the valley of your chest, and goosebumps erupted on your skin.
San trailed open mouthed kisses to your nipple, taking it in his mouth, tongue darting out to flick the bud, while one of his hands cupped your other boob, massaging it gently.
"San..." you moaned, hands moving to play with his hair while he repeated his actions on your other boob.
You rolled your hips back and forth on his hard cock and he pulled away to look at you with hooded eyes. "Y/N... baby, you're driving me crazy," he mumbles, his hands moving to the waistband of your sweatpants. "Tell me what you want, sweetheart."
"San, I want you," you moan when his hands at your waist press you down on him. "Fuck, I just... I need you right now, San. I want you to fuck me, fill me up with your cock." You wanted a little less conversation and a little more of him touching your body.
San flipped you onto your back and hovered over your body. "Are you sure, baby?" he asks and you hum in response. "Use your words, sweetheart."
"Yes, Sannie, please..." you beg and that was all it took for San to take your sweatpants off along with your panties, shedding his own clothes right after.
And god was naked San truly a marvelous sight. Your hands glided up his arms to his shoulders, before dipping down to his chest and then his hard abs. You maintained eye contact when your hand wrapped around his hard length, slowly pumping his cock.
Only for him to swiftly lay in between your legs, taking your clit in his mouth, his fingers still maintaining the same pumping pace. "What a pretty pussy," he compliments, sucking on your clit, "And it's all mine."
San sucked in a breath while his own hand moved to cup your pussy, his finger swiping along your slit to collect the wetness there, rubbing it on your clit for some lubrication. He leaned down to capture your lips with kiss while his finger moved on your clit in circular motions, your toes curling in the process.
After working on your clit, he finally slipped a finger inside your dripping hole, and you moaned at the stretch. He pumped his fingers to match the pace you kept while pumping his cock, and a second finger joined the first. The stretch made your hips buck up while you moaned, and you were starting to lose your senses. Your walls were practically sucking his fingers, and San pulled away from kissing you.
"San, fuck, please don't stop!" you moaned loudly, your thighs squeezed his head while he lapped at your clit, his wet tongue pressing harder on you. He hummed, the vibration giving you an extra push towards your building orgasm. You were so close to coming, and he seemed to notice that. His hand and tongue worked faster on you, and seconds later, you were releasing all over his fingers. He lapped at your throbbing clit once more before pulling his fingers out, sucking them clean, eyes closing at your sweet taste.
"Are you ready for me, sweetheart?" He asks, lining himself up with your wet entrance.
"W-wait San, let me..." you reached for his cock to return the favor, but he stopped you.
"No, baby, that's okay," he says softly with a smile. "I'll cum too quickly otherwise, and I'd rather cum in you. Is that okay, pretty girl?"
"Yes, Sannie..." He pumps his cock one more time before sliding his tip into your warm hole, sucking in a breath through his teeth.
"Fuck, Y/N, I'm not even fully in and you're already so fucking tight," he moans, slowing pushing himself fully in, finally crossing the line.
His cock stretched you out so well, and your eyes closed shut, your body feeling like it was on fire. You were clenching around his length, and San swore he was going to bust right then and there. He leaned down to kiss you softly. "I'm going to start moving, okay?" he whispered against your lips. Once you hum in approval, San goes back to kissing you while rolling his hips, pushing in and out of you in a steady, slow pace, wanting to take his time to familiarize the way you felt around his cock.
But you were growing slightly impatient. You pulled away from kissing him. "Sannie, baby, please... faster please..." you moan, and he chuckles in response. "Please, Sannie."
"So impatient," he murmurs and he goes even slower to tease you, making you whine.
And then he pushes hard into you, knocking the air out of your lungs before thrusting into you faster like you asked.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you cried out, clawing at the sheets beneath you. San's hands gripped the black headboard of his bed, his arm muscles tightly flexing. "God, it- it feels so good, fuck."
You feel the coil of pleasure get tighter in your stomach, and you could tell San was close too. "You're taking my cock so well, fuck, Y/N, you're so pretty," he says, and wets his thumb in his mouth before reaching down to rub your clit, all while maintaining his pace, and you felt your pussy spasm.
"Are you close baby?" he grunts, "You gonna cum all over this dick? Hmm?"
You tried to respond to him, but your words were all jumbled and incoherent. San rubbed faster on your clit, and the coil in your stomach finally snapped. Your orgasm hits you in waves, your body shaking beneath him.
"Such a good girl for me," he cooed, chasing his own high. "Hold on, sweetheart, I'm a-almost... almost there," San says, thrusting even faster before he groans, his cock pulsing, indicating that he came, his cum painting your walls white. He thrusts two more times to milk himself dry, before collapsing onto you, being careful to not put all his weight on you.
You stroke his back and he kisses your collarbone before pulling out and lying down beside you. The room was filled with the sound of both you breathing heavily, heartbeats moving at a rapid pace.
San got off the bed to get some wet wipes before he wiped your dripping pussy, and you whined when the tissue touched your sensitive clit.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" San asks, a hint of concern in his voice.
"Hmm, sensitive," you mumble. "Can't feel my legs." He chuckles and leans down to kiss your head before disposing the wipes in his bathroom.
You got off the bed to head to the bathroom to pee and clean up a little more. While you were washing your hands, San wrapped his arms around you, turning you around to face him when you were done drying your hands on the hand towel. He gently pressed you against the sink, leaning in to kiss you oh so gently.
"I love you," you say against his lips. "I want to be with you, San."
"I love you too," he says, his heart swelling with happiness to finally hear the words he's been longing to hear. "I know you're scared, Y/N, and honestly I am too. This is dangerous and scandalous in our lives... but I love you a lot," he reaches out to cup your cheek, stroking your skin with the pad of his thumb. "We're humans before we're idols. We deserve to fall in love too. There's nothing I want more than to be your boyfriend, Y/N."
Tears well up in your eyes and you nod at his words. "I'd like that," you whisper, pulling him into a tight hug. San held you for a bit, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
"How about we shower, and then I'll make you some ramen?" he suggests, and you instantly agree, not wanting to waste any precious time you have with him.
San smiles widely, his cute dimples popping out while he kisses you all over your face, and you've never felt happier before.
God, you were so into him. 
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estrellogy · 4 months
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Astro Notes Pt. 3
I have a lot of thoughts and observations that I want to share 😭 If you have any recommendations, please let me know as well 🤍
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- People often see 7th house as their ideal partner, but YOU are meant to embrace traits of that sign for growth.
For example, a Libra rising will begin to see more personal growth after learning positive traits from Aries e.g. Being more assertive, believing in themselves instead of looking for others’ approval, putting themselves first, etc.
- This might be a controversial opinion, but I don’t think minor asteroids influence your chart. Asteroids like Bride, Groom, and other very specific ones. The interpretations for them can usually be found somewhere in your main placements already. It can make you over complicate your chart and feel even more disconnected with yourself because you don’t focus on your core energy.
Not every small detail about you has to be explained by astrology. At the end of the day, you’re a person with free will and complex experiences that shape you beyond astrology. This is just a tool, not a determiner of your life.
- Pluto in 5th house 🤝 destroying/deleting your creative works when they’re not up to your standards
- The difference between Venus/Pluto hard versus soft aspects is in their expression. They all are intense, magnetic, and obsessive to some degree. However, hard aspects have a harder time owning these traits so they tend to swing between extremes (e.g. total obsession and then indifference). The soft aspects are just as intense and can have the same toxic tendencies as the hard aspects, BUT they have an easier time accepting it as a part of them and seem more ‘stable’.
- 6th house placements are so overlooked! That’s literally the house of your health and daily life. I notice that when you work with your 6th house energy effectively, other areas of your life also improve.
It’s interesting that 6th house comes right before 7th house of relationships. In order to be in a relationship with someone else, you have to take good care of yourself first!
- Aries and Mars aspects (especially hard ones) can overpower other aspects in your chart until you learn how to master that energy and channel them into something productive
- Jupiter in 12th house used to be seen as negative. But I think Jupiter here is one of the luckiest placements to have. This is the placements of coincidences happening in their favors, things lining up in crazy ways, book falling off the shelf right at the page they need to read. Their experiences feel divine.
They are very connected to the Universe, Source, Spirit Guides, or whatever you believe in! Anyone can with practice, but these things come more naturally for them.
- Shoutout to my Virgo Venus and Capricorn Mars for being the only things that stop me from going off the rails 😍
- Saturn in 11th house often feel unloved by the people around them due to earlier experiences with rejection. Saturn is trying to teach them to unconditionally accept themselves. Also, those bad experiences teach them how to read people a lot better and spot the ones with bad intentions. The reward from Saturn will be genuine, solid, and loyal friendships/connections.
I’m so glad you guys enjoy these silly notes! I have a ton of fun making them 😭
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xianyoon · 3 months
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐮𝐤𝐞 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
wriothesley x gn!reader. pure fluff & comfort, wriothesley is insecure and has trust issues, the fortress is written to be a much worse place than what genshin has written it to be. reader is his comfort and all, ok? & reader is a social worker bc that's what i'm studying hehhee ノ very much based on my own interpretation of wriothesley's vulnerabilities. ノ wc 2.1k.
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there is a title reserved only for the one who breaks through the plexiglass exterior of the duke –his sweetheart, his darling dove, his all. how does this title come about, however?
perhaps we start at the beginning ; the beginning, the dusty secrets held dearly that were only shown through shared glances and lingering touches on each other’s office doors. being the fortress’ ( or rather, wriothesley’s ) resource broker was no easy job ; you know nothing yet hear everything, from vague gestures to whatever outrageous plans soon-to-be ex-convicts wanted their future lives to be on the topside, to crying fathers realising that their daughters had grown up without them.
it was a tiresome job, you agree. tiresome, fulfilling, but still tiresome ; the days seemed to pass slowly, a never-ending spiral of complaints and insecurities. sometimes, it was even unpleasant.
incredibly unpleasant, that is –– until the one day where joy seemed to seep into work more, looks of disdain directed towards paperwork now looking somewhat spirited.
you found yourself falling in love with no one else but the duke.
the duke of meropide; his Grace, a low-profile man, yet someone who holds one of the highest titles in fontaine. chatter grows amongst a lack of knowledge. some say he killed people for his title – a bloodthirsty assassin, willing to do anything to get his hands on the tiniest modicum of power. some say he is a man haunted by his past ; a lying cheater, a thief, a kidnapper ; any infamous name that holds him at his knees, begging for a second chance.
perhaps he is the king of the criminals, the ringleader, whose heinous crimes have even gotten past the esteemed iudex of fontaine. most folks of the upper city do not like wriothesley ; you know that.
so how, despite everything – including your status as practically a saint, your amiable connections with people above, your line of work – how did you ever fall for the duke?
1) the duke is kind.
he is kind, he is trustworthy, he is lovable. the last sentiment bears witness the hard truths of his work – years of building a mask for himself has taught the public that he is a wicked man. short with children, dismissive of others – all untrue, whispered rumours that grow from untimely coincidences.
people typically never stick around long enough to learn the truth – they never do. late nights of his restless tossing and turning; mimicking his chest rising and falling to trick himself into sleeping, finally at peace – has reminded you that despite his seemingly unbreakable armour, wriothesley is still someone who gets hurt –human.
perhaps that is one reason he is so enamoured with you. your constant reminding to him that he is still human is something he adores. you humanise him. he is kind, he is trustworthy, he is lovable.
“do you need my help?”
you want to say no, you’ve got this, thank you – but you see him standing by the wooden doorframe, hands practically itching to get something for you.
there is something so perfectly innocent about his question; so filled with longing – it is only then, golden rays of sunlight filtering through the waters, gently touching everything in its path with evening glow – you realise that perhaps all the duke wants is to feel needed.
“i do, actually. how is your timing always impeccable?” you break into a smile, and suddenly the room feels a smidge lighter, his hopeful anticipation transformed into eager helpfulness.
he is lovable and he is needed. he is kind.
2) the duke is protective.
there is no doubt in that sentiment – you say it with your chest, looking at his steady gaze. wriothesley is especially protective of you in the fortress; your self-proclaimed personal bodyguard, accompanying you from waiting loyally by the topside entrance and waiting for you to sit comfortably in your office seat before casting one last gaze to make sure you’re safe.
“are you sure you’re comfortable? i’m happy to have an assistant fetch you more pillows-”
“thank you, but i’m oka-.” your voice is muffled beneath the mound of hand-stitched pillows he deposited.
“the pillows aren’t that nice, but they’re really all we have, perhaps i shall send a request for neuvillette to grant us extra allowance-”
“wriothesley.”
he looks up from his ramble.
“thank you. i appreciate it. i’m quite alright– this is more than enough for me. thank you for your hospitality.”
you share a brief moment of understanding, eyes meeting, corners of lips upturning for a second– 
“the pleasure is all mine. i’ll leave you to your work, then.” you see a hint of an exhaustedly contented smile on his face before the door is closed.
there is no doubt that wriothesley is protective over you. you’re a diamond in the murky waters of the meropide – you are an outsider, a foreigner; a face not yet haunted by the depths of the fortress. you are fresh. sultry men and covetous women fix their gaze on you as you walk past with your case notes, guileful eyes boring into the back of your head. like a pack of wolves waiting to lead their lamb to slaughter.
“an efficient lot, hm? all done with your tasks for the day? perhaps i should ask sigewinne to cook more mystery lunchboxes.”
his voice breaks through the anticipatory silence, a siren that sends even the bravest of wolves scrambling for shelter.
“r-right away, sire!”
even the bravest of wolves never fail to stammer at the duke’s feet.
3) the duke loves you.
if there is one thing that should not be doubted – 
it is his love for you,
and your love for him.
wriothesley thinks that he is subtle; that he is, to the unsuspecting and unobservant. most do not care to notice how he starts smiling a tad more, or how he locks eyes with you every time you walk pass, or how he utters a prayer to any deity listening to protect you in the fortress. there is only so much wriothesley, the man, can do.
you make him human. in your presence, he is not the duke of meropide nor the god that reigns over the fortress – he is wriothesley. he is broken and he is hurt and he is rough around the edges not because he wants to. he laughs and he cries and he remembers how he used to clasp his hands together, hoping that one day, they’d be yours instead.
wriothesley holds a fear as tightly as it grips him – perhaps if he strangles it to death, he will never be plagued by the anxiety that one day, you will unpack him in full and the clothes will be stored away and all that’s left is a miserable box – a shell of who he used to be. when the sunlight spills through the trees, and the morning fog starts to clear, will you like what you see?
it is obvious when this fear takes him by the hand and threatens to choke him. he becomes withdrawn, tired, bland, even – he is so beside himself with the worry that he has no ounce of strength for a facade anymore. the curtain falls, and the performer you see onstage is the ghost of his typically suave demeanour. once-organic jokes feel forced and his smile is haunting– still a weary beautiful, but hauntingly so.
“please, i beg of you, tell me what’s wrong.”
“it’s nothing.”
“it’s not nothing.”
“it is nothing you should be concerned with, i promise. you have more important matters to attend to than this.” he looks back down at his paperwork, burying and sinking into his armchair, gaze refusing to meet your waiting one.
“you are an important matter that i wish to attend to. please, wriothesley. i can’t make it better if i don’t know what’s wrong.” you plead.
“it is,” he grits his teeth – lying through his teeth, if you will.
“it is nothing. i assure you that. i am perfectly fine.”
you sigh hearing that. the duke, stubborn as always.
“you forget that it is my very job to point out discrepancies between my clients’ behaviour and their words.”
he looks at you – his expression hard to read. it isn’t one that is unkind, nor mocking, but he is not quite taking himself apart bone by bone to lay in front of you either. frankly, he is just. . . curious.
“i don’t understand you at all. i am not your client. in fact, it’s quite the opposite – i am your boss, yet you insist on treating me like some . . . something to be unearthed, dissected. does that bring you joy? am i a mere specimen, just waiting to–” he sets his fountain pen down midway, staring at his now-cold english breakfast tea. the intricate flavours would have mulled by now; it is nothing but a pathetic, lukewarm flavoured water. “are you just waiting for–”
“what part of ‘ i care for you ‘ do you not understand?”
for the first time in a long time, wriothesley shuts up.
“from the second i walked through the doors of the meropide, blindfolded because i wasn’t allowed to know where the entrance was on the first day– you have been nothing but kind to me, wriothesley. you are patient and generous, you give me more than i can ever ask for. why is it so hard for you to believe that i have come to care for you as well?”
wriothesley doesn’t speak.
“i love you, wriothesley,” you whisper.
“and i am sorry that it has taken me long enough to say it because apparently it is not clear to you why i care for you so. i adore you, your grace, i beg you to believe me when i say i wish to see you nothing but loved.”
it is only until a few days after that he gathers the words – and the courage – to speak again.
i’m sorry,
the letter reads. he isn’t quite ready to talk in person yet.
please meet me in my office at 2200 hours.
– w.
you arrive at his office, bleary-eyed after a long day of consultations and sorting through the tireless stacks of mail that find itself on your office desk.
“wriothesley?”
he falls.
“i’m sorry. please– i love you as well. i am sorry that i didn’t– no, couldn’t trust you, when you had shown me nothing but the reason why i could. i beg you to believe me, my worries has nothing to do with your lack of efforts. from the start you have been the very subject of my desires–”
“wriothesley.” you hold his face gently, fingers lightly grazing his flushed cheeks.
“it’s alright. i love you.”
he buries his head into where your clavicle lies, breathing heavy sighs of relief.
“i’m sorry.”
“you have nothing to apologise for, i promise.” you move to sit on his office couch, holding him close – you find yourself pressing a gentle kiss to his bicep, your head leaning against his shoulder. the couch dips with his shift in weight, and he rests his head against yours.
“please don’t promise me that. i know i have done wrong.”
“my love,” you experiment with the new title – it rolls right off your tongue. it feels right.
“you are human. it is okay.”
“i’m sorry.”
“all is forgiven.”
4) the duke knows he is loved.
weeks pass since the emotional disclosure between you and the duke – a shared understanding to love quietly in public but loudly when it was just the two of you. lingering touches, a shared smile hidden behind stacked of the fortress’ paperwork, a gentle nod of acknowledgement in passing –your love is quiet but it is as real as it can be.
“welcome home, my love.” you smile, nuzzling your face into his collarbone – he is fresh from the meropide, there is a slight undeniable stench, but his cologne covers most of it and enraptures you in his scent.
“aren’t you exhausted? i saw the client you were dealing with today.”
“i am. but i’m alright.”
“are you sure?”
“positive, dear. thank you for asking.” you tiptoe to press a sweet kiss to his cheek, landing with a slight bounce in your step.
“you look happier today. did something happen?” wriothesley smiles, setting his bag down.
“nothing, really. just . . . reminiscing, i believe. how utterly i’ve fallen for this sweet, sweet darling of a man.”
he barks out a laugh at that, a soft smile finally reaching the corners of his eyes.
“you’re about to make this sweet, sweet darling of a man start weeping if you keep saying these sentimental things.”
you shove him off you and pinch his side.
“go get changed! dinner is almost here.”
“ow- ow! okay!”
how ever did you fall for the duke? truth be told, you thought it was rather simple. it’s not like it was hard to do so.
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thank you for reading !! this one took a lot out of me, so if you enjoyed this, a reblog with tags + a comment goes a long way !!! hehehe
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