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jensettermandu · 3 days

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nostalgia - huh yunjin

genre; light angst, fluff, sfw

pairing; yunjin x female reader

synopsis; purely based on the song Nostalgia by Suki Waterhouse

wc; 5.5k+

masterlist

a/n; i do recommend listening to the song while or before reading, just to hear all of its lyrics because only certain parts are used in the story plus it's such a good song

‘Do you still have the CDs that I burned you?’

Yunjin was aware that there was a limit to everything, even to how much of her life she could fit in her luggage before going back to South Korea to chase her dreams. It was hard to leave; leaving everything behind was what made it the hardest; the fact that she could only bring a small portion of her current life with her.

There was a fear that if she didn’t bring certain things, she would forget about them.

Of course, she was excited, but the tears of joy had also turned to tears that burned and a difficult feeling to swallow as it was thick with emotions. There were so many emotions to feel and it all ended up overwhelming her; missing her comfort.

As she looked through her last few drawers as a way to reminisce and try not to forget the stuff she would leave, in what would be her old room, her fingers stumbled upon something that held a deep past; it felt like a bitter past now when it had been so sweet.

Yunjin grabbed the three different CD cases, grabbing onto what was left of the love she could have had. With those she picked up the walkman, she forgot to return and now never would get to return.

As she put the first CD into the player, she lay on her bed and stared at the white and empty ceiling. The girl pressed play after putting in the earphones; it burned her skin as she found herself painting out her memories onto the ceiling; reminiscing about a recent past as she listened to the voice.

Yunjin wasn’t the only one with dreams.

“These are just for you and no one else; our favourites and this one is—” Yunjin watched Y/n who trailed off, a CD case in her hand, she had already handed two to Yunjin.

It was a sweet gesture; it was affectionate and intimate and meant the world to Yunjin at the moment. Three CDs Y/n had burned her were better than anything else she could have gotten from anyone, especially Y/n. Somehow, she found herself creating the best memories when she was with her, she felt the most with her and didn’t want anything else.

They had come to the city for two different reasons; Yunjin had given up on her dreams and she fondly watched Y/n chase hers. There was some hope that it would reignite her passion again.

The girl sighed, her accent thick with her old home after coming from London to chase her dream in New York.

“A few demos, so…”

Carefully as if it was a flake of gold Yunjin reached for the see-through CD case in her girlfriend’s hold. This would become a core memory in her head; this was special in so many ways, Y/n’s first demos were in her hold. A smile painted itself onto her lips and she knew that she could always start creating and chasing new dreams; Y/n had become her dream.

Yunjin had never been more sure of the words that left her lips next, nothing had ever felt more right. This was something she was sure of, something she was passionate about. “I love you,” she truly did and being young, 18, she hadn’t had the opportunity to fall in love.

This was beyond an infatuation, this was deeper, this was love and this time those three words meant what they were and she didn’t say them because she thought it was love.

Yunjin said them because she knew it was love.

Y/n let out a small giggle, a fond smile resting on her lips as her eyes gazed over Yunjin’s face as if searching for an answer to her words. There was no need for a long search because the answer was right there.

“I love you, Jen.”

And in the moonlight that seeped through the windows in Y/n’s studio apartment as they were on the mattress that was on the floor Yunjin and Y/n both got to live through what was real love.

The CD cases were discarded to the side, listened to during their affectionate pillow talk, and the same happened to Y/n’s shirt as Yunjin pulled it off, letting it fall onto the studio apartment's wooden floor.

‘The T-shirt you pulled off me, the night you said you loved me?’

Yunjin reached for the t-shirt that was about to fall out of the wardrobe and onto the floor. “Hurry up or we will be late for practice!” She didn’t reply to Chaewon who had run past her to get to the door.

She looked at the shirt, the print had somewhat washed away, the same way those memories were washing away. It hadn’t been long since she left, but the remnants of an old dream were still lingering.

‘I love you, Jen.’

How long has she had Y/n’s shirt? Was it from all those years back when Yunjin for the first time said I love you? How did it end up in Seoul? How did a piece of her past end up in Seoul; a piece of Y/n; her old dream? Did she pack it? Did it fall in by accident? Did someone else put it in? It was here though, with Yunjin, a piece of what she had left of Y/n.

It would do her no good, the same way the CDs wouldn’t as they were put away in her drawer in her old room before her flight. Yunjin stuffed the shirt back, far back, hiding it so as to not stumble upon it again. It was time to forget, the same way they had forgiven so easily. The quicker, the better because it wouldn’t ache.

She couldn’t bring all of this with her though, Yunjin couldn’t bring this nostalgia with her, she had to forget about it even if she wished to dwell in it for eternity.

Yunjin was chasing a new dream.

‘I still have the marks that you made on me

It's easy to forget that you are gone’

New York City would always be busy, everyone lived in a world of their own, Y/n included. She walked forward, but still always found herself stuck in the same place even after what had been months, a year almost.

She would stutter in her actions; all those times she would stare at the barista. The usual order was what she wanted, wasn’t it? The usual. The usual. What was the usual? Despite knowing the usual by heart she found herself staring at the menu above the man for a second. It was like a blackout in her mind.

It wasn’t the usual:

‘Two iced americanos?’

That sounded right.

“One iced americano. Extra strong.”

However, it wasn’t right and she had yet to grow used to it.

In the same way, it wasn’t right to reach for her phone every time she came up with a new melody or lyrics to send it right to her lover.

The same way that picture of the broken guitar at the studio ended up with the rest of the unsent pictures.

In the same way, there was no one to expect at home yet she still always wanted to call out her name when she entered, it would be at the tip of her tongue.

Those moments of doubt that would always disappear when she asked for opinions; opinions that had always mattered the most to her. It was just another empty reach because she realised she didn’t have that anymore.

That blackout in her head where she couldn’t remember why it wasn’t right never lasted too long as it got filled with the present. Y/n would remember that Yunjin was gone, she was away from her. The spots would fill with a sadness that washed over her, remembering that she lived in a nostalgia of when she and Yunjin were still together.

She kept forgetting that she was just letting herself sleep in nostalgia.

Y/n’s sip of coffee was bitter, she loved it, but the bitterness from a while back wasn’t as pleasant.

‘I talk about the past like I talk about you’

Two passionate lovers is what they were. They loved big and fought for their love even bigger even if it was with the other. It wasn’t often though, it seldom happened, but when it did it was big because of their passion that only grew with the years.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Y/n?”

“Why would I be joking about this, Yunjin!?”

Y/n clenched her jaw, taking in a deep breath as she tried to hold her tears at bay. Yunjin didn’t make her cry, it was just her fears that made her cry, the fears Yunjin always reassured her she didn’t need to have.

Those promises neither of them would break, yet they found their love so precious and important to them that the smallest littlest sign of possible defect sent the whole perfectly organised heart into a frenzy.

Love wasn’t easy, it came with easy parts, but so many parts weren’t. As there were beautiful parts to it, there was ugly too.

It was still explosive, their love was, it was great; greater than most could handle, but they fought the strength of it to not let it overwhelm them. It still had those moments where it did manage to do so.

“I don’t fucking know. You just…”

Y/n smiled, it would always be a blur whenever she was asked questions about the songs she wrote. The only story she could tell her friends was that those songs were made-up telltales most of the time.

‘I leave out every little thing that I don't like remembering’

“Wait–Okay, no, it’s recording now.”

“You’re such an idiot.” Y/n laughed, trying to push away the camcorder that was being shoved in her face.

“Stop it, you look pretty. I need to get it on video.” Yunjin argued, pushing away Y/n’s hands, but her girl was trying to put up a small fight.

“Is it truly such a need?”

“Uh-huh. You look pretty 24/7 and I need some of it on video.” It wasn’t hard for her to overpower the smaller girl as Yunjin grabbed hold of Y/n’s wrists with one hand and quickly straddled her girlfriend, having her pinned to the mattress.

Those giddy giggles continued as they messed around; it was always the same, it was always as comforting as a late-night drive in light rain. It created a sense of peace to the mind, it felt serene and warm even if it was cold outside.

“I can now declare my love for you on camera,” Yunjin stated as she angled the camera towards them and leaned down.

The lens watched the two girls who stared at each other; Yunjin’s hand unwrapped around Y/n’s wrists and gently cupped her cheek, with the latter wrapping her arms around her shoulders. It watched as they stared at each other in a momentary silence; it caught the love in their eyes, the fondness, the adoration, the care, the comfort they felt with each other; their starry-eyed romance.

Yunjin smiled with a light chuckle as she spoke, “I Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin love you, Y/n Y/l/n, more than I can express.”

Y/n mirrored the smile, her eyes twinkling brighter than stars in the sky, “I love you more than I will ever be able to say I do, Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin.”

The camcorder continued to capture their love as Yunjin dropped it onto the mattress and put her lips against Y/n’s to continue declaring the love they held for each other.

It could have been that she skipped the bad parts, left out everything she would rather not remember Yunjin or their love for as she was missing the idea of the girl.

‘I miss you more than I say I do’

“Do you miss whoever that is?”

Y/n looked over her shoulder at the guy who gave her a discerning smile; as if he knew the answer to the question. The girl grabbed hold of the journal where she had been scribbling down lyrics and spun around in the chair.

She looked over the words, it had been three years, and then she looked up at the man. The studio was quite dim, almost a yellow and reddish colour that matched the rugs that were on the floor and hung on the walls together with the other types of soundproofing.

That person she hadn’t seen for three years; were the songs about her?

“I don’t, it’s just fiction,” Y/n spoke, knowing that it wasn’t fiction as she still, after three painfully dreadful slow years, strongly longed after the person most of her songs seemed to be about.

She tried to convince herself otherwise, she tried to convince herself that she was too busy chasing her dreams to even remember who Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin was.

However, it was clear that Yunjin had never even for a second left Y/n’s frame even if she wasn’t in the picture anymore.

The person who wasn’t there was her only muse.

‘You had to follow all your dreams, move to New York (Seoul), away from me

You were so easy to forgive, but not so easy to forget’

Yunjin’s heart pounded, she knew that she never needed to be worried or nervous, but it was wrecking her even as Y/n jumped into her arms with a squeal. The cool wind that blew on the roof of Y/n’s apartment building was one she would remember for years; the way it left a chill on her skin all while feeling forlornness and happiness at the same time, that bittersweet taste of her tongue.

It was a taste that wouldn’t wash away.

Y/n buried her face in the crook of Yunjin’s neck, she felt happy for her girlfriend, but she couldn’t tell if those tears that made it past her eyes were solely tears of joy. No, something was crumbling, breaking into pieces inside Y/n; was that what heartbreak felt like? Was this what true love was? It was painful.

True love was pain.

It just took some time to settle for both of them how painful love was as the other things they faced starry-eyed weren’t close to the damage this was causing them. It was hard to keep the same starry gaze.

“I’m sorry.” The girl barely managed to let out as her fingers twisted the material of Y/n’s sweater. She truly was sorry for making Y/n believe that she was her only dream, but the second the opportunity showed itself after all this time, that spark of her old dreams ignited.

Yunjin had spent countless years chasing something she failed to reach and now it was right at the tips of her fingers. She never thought it would happen and she had been ready to move on from it, but it was like fate was presenting itself to her.

Y/n wanted to hate Yunjin, but she knew that she couldn’t even if the girl was breaking her heart. She loved her too much to keep her. She had moved to New York away from everyone to chase her dreams too, so she understood Yunjin, but she couldn’t lie and say that it wasn’t wrecking her; that it wouldn’t leave her a mess.

She wrapped her arms tighter around the taller girl’s shoulders who pulled her in closer; a goodbye to someone who was still there but wouldn’t be for much longer hurt her. They both hurt. They had been protecting their love, they had devoted themselves to protecting it from even the smallest defects, but they couldn’t protect it from themselves.

As the promises they made, were the promises they never meant to break

“Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s best for you, Jen, don’t be sorry for chasing your dreams.”

Y/n forgave her for hurting her, but that never meant that she was able to forget her, let alone the pain that Yunjin caused her, the pain they caused each other. If they had known, would they still pursue a love this great? The answer was a simple yes; no matter the pain, their love was worth it until the last second no matter how much it tore them into pieces on that roof.

‘Why can't I keep you right where I want you?

Y/n stared at Yunjin, she had found herself admiring Yunjin at night whenever she couldn’t fall asleep. Then every morning when she woke up, later because she could never fall asleep, she did so to Yunjin fondly caressing her with her gaze, waiting for Y/n to wake up.

She moved the slightest, slowly twisting in Yunjin’s tight and warm hold on her waist. It was hard to imagine that it had been two years since they met and that in a couple of months, Yunjin would get a call that would reignite her dreams and leave them torn to pieces that were miles apart.

Now on her stomach, an arm still holding onto her waist, Y/n could look better over Yunjin's face; unaware that soon her nights would be spent in an empty bed, crying and longing. Her scent was gentle and comforting to Y/n; in a few months, she would only be able to smell it on her clothes until it would fully wash away. She reached her hand up and gently traced along her cheek, thumb grazing the slight pout on Yunjin’s lips; the lips she would kiss and touch for the last time soon enough.

Y/n sighed and was about to move, “where are you going?” She hummed confused at the tired, almost grumpy mumble that came from Yunjin. The arm around her waist tightened its grip, pulling Y/n flush against her warm body. She was held in an embrace she would be missing and never be able to suffice with another one.

She would miss it all so much that it would leave her lovesick.

If only they were aware, would it change anything? Perhaps their words.

“Nowhere, Jen.”

“Good, don’t leave.” She mumbled before turning onto her side, sighing in content as Y/n snuggled closer, right under her chin, letting Yunjin take in the calming scent of her hair.

“I don’t plan on leaving,” her voice held a slight rasp as it was starting to fill with exhaustion and her usually sleepless nights weren’t as bad because it was easy to fall asleep in Yunjin’s presence. Maybe it was good considering that the nights ahead would be nothing, but sleepless and draining.

“Neither do I,” those words of security.

Those silent promises they would break.

Y/n closed her eyes at the security she felt, falling asleep in the home that she had found.

‘And even though you put an ocean in between us’

Y/n blinked her tired eyes open and stared ahead, the empty room seemed to stretch for miles in the dark, the bed cold and empty even if it had felt so warm just a second before she awoke. A dull ache pierced her heart at the realisation of it being a vivid dream. It took her a while to realise it was just another dream and that Yunjin was far away.

It somehow didn’t matter that she wasn’t there anymore, it did matter because it hurt and the longing for something she couldn’t have exhausted her, it just didn’t mean that she would forget her simply because she wasn’t there.

There was something utterly beautiful about true love, but for something to be beautiful, there had to be something ugly. Which was the miles in between them, the separate dreams they were chasing and the evergreen feelings she couldn’t express to her anymore.

All that was left was missing the idea of Yunjin, of that something that they had.

‘I will try to keep us

Together forever, nostalgia’

It wasn’t as frequent anymore, but once in a while those vivid dreams came to haunt Y/n. She turned to lay on her back and stare at the ceiling. She watched the memories wash away, trying to not care, but then she would find herself grasping for them in panic, terrified that she would forget about Yunjin even if it had been two years.

No one had simply been able to be what she was.

After each of these dreams, she found herself closing her eyes again and repeating those memories. Despite it all, she tried to keep them together forever no matter how faint certain parts could become. Y/n would bury herself with these memories if they ever died. She kept her and Yunjin together even after two years.

‘I just need to know that you are happy

So if it couldn't be me, then go ahead, forget me’

As time passed Y/n would find herself slipping out of her nostalgia and into reality, instead of dreaming about her, she was wondering about the other girl. Y/n was left wondering if Yunjin still had those CDs she burned for her, together with the walkman she never got back. If that shirt Yunjin pulled off the night she said she loved her was with her even though it had been years.

Did she remember their love? The same way Y/n did.

There was a part of her that hurt whenever she thought about the fact that she was possibly the only one who still thought about the other. However, even if that was the case, she still wanted to know how Yunjin was doing even if she was the only one who still cared about how the other was doing.

Was she at least happy after leaving her behind to follow her dreams?

That was all that mattered to Y/n, to know that Yunjin was happy then she wouldn’t hold it against her. She would be fine with Yunjin not thinking about her the same way she would think about her almost every day. Y/n would be fine with Yunjin never reminiscing about their past together at all; with being forgotten.

“I remember helping this one group produce a song—It’s like they are making them in factories with how many groups debut lately.”

Y/n looked up from the DAW and tilted her head back to look up at the TV that was hung above them on the wall. There was no sound coming from it, “what’s this?” She questioned, wondering why her friend was playing what was a South Korean channel. That sad little bittersweet feeling filled her as she became once again painfully aware that all that she did was escape now and that in reality somewhere among those people was Yunjin.

She was no longer here with Y/n.

“It’s the little showcases they do when they debut or make a comeback.” Y/n had been too bitter to keep track, but she knew that she would be happy for the girl. It would mean the world to her.

The one simple thing she had been wondering for these past two years was finally answered. “What group is this?” Y/n asked, dewy-eyed. She couldn’t help but smile as relief washed over her and she grew sentimental. Her heart felt fixed for a second, it was beating like it did when Yunjin was around her and told her how much she loved her.

She was reminded of how much tender love she still had for her, knowing she couldn’t give it to her.

“Le sserafim.”

Yunjin looked happy, she looked passionate; Y/n felt like she achieved something just from seeing Yunjin finally live out the dreams she’d had for so many years, the ones she had strived for so hard.

There was no way for Y/n to know if the girl missed her or at least even thought about her once or if she had forgotten all about her. It didn’t matter as long as she was happy and if that was the case Y/n would rather be forgotten.

It couldn’t be Y/n that Yunjin chose in the end, but her dreams.

‘I traced my steps back to where we first met

And hold the memory 'til you slip away’’

“Excuse me, do you have Lucinda Williams LP records?”

“I don’t really work here…”

Y/n stopped and looked over at the taller girl with confusion, after looking up from her phone, as she was sure that she saw staff in this exact spot a second ago. Her eyes glanced away from the girl and she realised that the person she initially was going to ask for help was now a row away from her.

“I do know where the LP is though–” Y/n stuttered in her step, making the other girl do the same which created an awkward moment of confusion. “I could show it.” She pointed out the obvious she was trying to do and Y/n at last caught on.

“Thank you and sorry for mistaking you for working here.” She apologised as they walked beside each other through the endless aisles of the vintage vinyl store with both old and new LP records, including CDs, walkmans and more. The store was dimly lit with yellow and beige undertones, it smelt of cardboard and dust, and the air felt thick and warm, but was evocative.

“It’s fine, you have a nice accent. British–” “Cockney.” The two looked at each other and Y/n looped her thumb through the hole in the sleeve of her sweater. She squeezed it, was there a tremble in her voice? There was and there never usually was one.

“British, yeah, cockney is the dialect.” She clarified as she had answered the girl before she had the chance to finish talking. What she got in return was a bright smile, one she hadn’t seen before, especially not since she moved to New York. It felt like people didn’t have time to smile or be nice in the busy city.

“It’s pretty,” she fished for words to say, but couldn’t figure out how to receive the compliment. Y/n found herself at a loss for words because of the stranger walking beside her. “Lucinda Williams feels specific though.” However, the pretty stranger filled in the silence that would possibly fall upon them.

“I’m looking for inspiration, I grew up listening to her.”

“Inspiration?”

Y/n breathlessly chuckled at that, remembering how she was called a fool after declaring that she was moving to New York to chase her dreams of becoming a musician. She nodded and the both of them stopped before a big row of records, her eyes scanning for the one she was looking for.

“Yeah, I’m musically inclined I guess.”

The stranger continued to make conversation, seemingly interested in the other stranger. “As in…” Y/n looked away from the rows of records as one was handed to her and she looked at the ‘World Without Tears’ LP in the dark-haired girl’s hands.

“As in–” She took the record from the girl with a small thank you. What she also received was a bright smile and the inspiration she had been looking for. It was hard to find a muse, but somehow a pretty and nice stranger was setting a fire ablaze. “I've always wanted to be an artist and so I moved here, to New York, to follow my dreams.”

“I’m Yunjin by the way.” She introduced herself, looking at the pretty stranger with an accent, a cockney dialect like she had said. Something grew inside her chest, someone Yunjin had just met, someone she didn’t know the name of, the girl in front of her; she had so much in common with the girl in front of her despite not knowing her name yet.

“Or well–Jennifer when I’m back home.”

“I’m Y/n.” The girl said as they both looked each other in the eye, for the first time, but not the last, yet, locked hands.

‘I miss you more than I say I do

You had to follow all your dreams, just wish that they included me’

Y/n reached for the record that was packed between the other ones on the shelf. The old vinyl store smelled of faint dust, cardboard and memories, evocative as always. She picked up what was the same-titled LP she had bought here when she met Yunjin or Jennifer when she was back home.

She continued to walk along the aisles, walking through memory lane once again, remembering how this was the place where she spoke about her dreams to a stranger who then became someone who knew her better than she knew herself. That same person who would leave Y/n behind to follow all her dreams; she wasn’t upset about it.

The girl stopped in front of what was a shelf with newer artists, the new generation of artists and looked at the names. However, she knew what she came for, to see a name on the shelves yet when she saw it she continued to walk.

It did make her heart pound and teeth dig into her lower lip to contain all these overwhelming emotions that were being stirred inside of her. If only she could share them with the stranger who became her everything, to finally be able to share what she always had wanted to share with her.

The old vintage store had changed; it had gotten modern details and more products to attract more people. The world moved forward, and nothing stayed the same, all that used to be had changed around her.

Y/n had yet to grasp it all, she didn’t meddle in the genre and maybe it was because it only made her think of one person. She still stopped over at the section to see the mini albums. Despite being aware that Yunjin was happy, obviously since she achieved what she always wanted, Y/n still wished that she was part of why she was so happy and those dreams.

Her fingers only brushed over the mini album, letting it slip through them; she preferred the past and didn’t enjoy certain changes as she continued to walk. She took a trip down memory lane, from the beginning until there was nothing more left to reminisce until she reached the part where Yunjin slipped away and they stopped creating memories together. She played it all on a loop. It was hard to pretend when she knew the truth of who and what she longed for.

‘Together forever, nostalgia

It's crazy, baby, I want you’

To sleep in nostalgia; to escape the now, Y/n found herself giving into the beauty of an illusion.

The romance of missing the idea of Yunjin who she knew wasn't far for the first time in so long, but still it felt like miles away.

It had been three years and four months. It was crazy, but Y/n still wanted Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin as she stood on the outdoor theatre stage of Coachella, singing the song she had been living for the past years.

She too reached her dreams even though she was wistful after her old one.

‘Together forever, nostalgia

It's crazy, baby, I want ya’

Nostalgia had never been less present in Yunjin’s life as she found herself living in the now, in her reality, but this time it was because she wanted to. This time she didn’t want to escape into a dream when the scene before her was beyond what she could indulge in reminiscence.

The sun was setting and her view felt ethereal and heartbeat familiar. It was all she needed, to see Y/n reach her dreams too, that they both had reached their dreams even if it was without the other there, without being able to share it.

Dewy-eyed she stared with sentimental spilling from her eyes and love clogging up her throat, her body warming up in a fluttering way she had wondered if she would ever feel again.

Yunjin still had the CDs that Y/n burned her, she asked her mum to send them just a few weeks after she arrived together with the walkman. That T-shirt, the one Yunjin put on a teddy bear she hugged each night, was still with her, reminding her each time of where her love lay and the night she said where it did lay.

It was impossible to let go of the past, to not sleep in nostalgia and reminisce every day and think about the girl who was on stage. Impossible to not wonder how she was doing. Impossible to not wonder if Yunjin too was Y/n’s wonderwall or if she was the only one.

It’s crazy, Yunjin thought, it’s crazy that she had kept her and Y/n together forever, in nostalgia. It’s crazy how she kept something that wasn’t there, alive. It’s crazy how close yet how far she was from her. It’s crazy that she watched Y/n from the crowd and wanted her despite the miles and years apart. It’s crazy that she would bury herself with this nostalgia, this illusion if it ever died.

‘Together forever, nostalgia

It's crazy, baby, I want ya’

That little flame for their old dreams never died, they could always start chasing them again because they had kept it alive with the romance of missing the idea of the other. They had been kept together by sleeping in their nostalgia.

a/n: idk i just had to write this 'cause i love suki waterhouse, and nostalgia is just too good, need it injected into my veins, her every song tbh. hope it was enjoyable though since i really enjoyed writing it. i really appreciate the support, especially reblogs. love yall <3

masterlist

#yunjin imagines #yunjin fluff #yunjin x reader #yunjin x female reader #le sserafim x fem reader #le sserafim x reader #le sserafim imagines #le sserafim fluff #girl group imagines #fanfic #girl group fluff #huh yunjin x reader #huh yunjin fluff #Spotify

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yandereend · 19 hours

Note

I'm officially in love with Dorian, could you please do another chapter? Maybe reader is willing to be kidnapped? I'll leave it up to you <3

Me too<3 but to be honest I think everyone who reads yandere fiction wants to be kidnapped too😅

Yandere pretty boy

Your new life

TW : yandere stuff, kidnapped reader, Dorian is interesting…

P.2 / let me know if you want more

Your new life was more than interesting, but a welcomed suprise nonetheless.

To be honest you always hoped this would happen. School was shit, it always was. The people were fake, the teachers annoying and the grades not so great.

The best thing that happened in school was meeting Dorian, he was so nice and pretty. So spending every day in his mansion with him was great. He even gave you a new phone which you could use when he supervised.

Being kidnapped was only bad for a short time. Maybe faking your death was a bit of a overkill on Dorians part, but when you realized that your parents didn’t care you gave in.

So now you had private cooks, maids and every other thing you always expected from rich people. Sometimes it was even kinda cliche how often Dorian called for a maid, but that’s just how he grew up.

You also didn’t have to go through any punishments you heard of in other yandere stories cause you loved your new life. And thanks to that you’re and Dorians relationship was still going strong.

You two woke up togheter and you helped him getting ready for school. Then you two would eat breakfast with each other and say goodbye to each other. And then you were without Dorian for the next eight hours.

His father would also leave with him, going to work. You realized that Dorians obsessive personality came from his father, who acted with his wife the same way Dorian acted with you. But Roger was a very nice after he warmed up to you.

And when both left the house you were left with his mother.

You new best friend.

Charlotte was the nicest woman you ever met and also by far the prettiest. Even though she was 38 she looked like she was at most in her late twenties. And her youthfulness was complemented be her naive personality.

As you learned over the first month Charlotte was kidnapped by roger at only 16 years. It was love at first sight for him. He realized she was too pure for the world and would not survive on her own (his words). So he „rescued“ her and gave her the best life. And now they had a happy family with the newest addition being you.

Maybe a few rookier parts of the story where being brushed over by everyone, but hey in the end everything was fine … right?

What would your next step be, my love?

Btw a part about Charlotte and rogers past where wasn’t as obedient as reader kn the beginning ? Let me know if you want that <3

🩵Please let me know if you enjoyed it especially the person who asked, i love taking requests 🩵

#obsessive yandere #soft yandere #yandere community #yandere core #yandere fic #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere bf #yandere fiction #yandere stories #yandere smut #yandere imagines #yancore #yandere x darling #yandere bf headcanons #yandere family #yandere husband #yandere x y/n

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tossawary · 3 days

Text

Looking up some things has turned into reading the last 100 or so chapters of the "Naruto" manga for fun, because why not. Some random assorted notes so far (as of finishing Chapter 661):

This end fight is so fucking long, there are so many characters, and the pacing is bordering on excruciating. There's some stuff happening here that's delicious, but there's a lot of messy back and forth of the narrative focus that I personally am not fully vibing with. I cannot imagine trying to follow this split story weekly. This is common enough to a lot of big shounen mangas.

I generally like the basic artstyle here (the use of white and black especially), but the quality of page composition, panel composition, and scene clarity generally is obviously suffering heavily from these chapters being pushed out too quickly. I can barely tell some characters apart and some panels are just messes of lines. This is also common enough among mangas, so eh, it's also whatever.

It's kind of funny to me how Hashirama and Tobirama and Minato suddenly become major characters for like a solid 30 chapters or so. Like, yeah, I can see why Founders Era fic is popular. The flashback chapters themselves are pretty short, but Madara is one of the main villains in this fight, and the undead Senju brothers are suddenly here to kick ass on a level apparently far beyond most other characters. The grudges and betrayal here are delicious. These are also the people who founded Konoha itself, the main location of the manga for hundreds of chapters now, honestly not that many generations ago. It also helps that the Founders feel like they have nicely complete tragic arcs and lives to work with, instead of the relatively open-ended narrative mess that the main Naruto characters live in.

Also, Hashirama can definitely act the idiot and I think some of his choices / opinions are stupid as hell, but he's obviously a very clever and observant and ruthless person. Tobirama went on to become Hokage after his brother and will not hesitate to forcefully give his opinions, but it's also clear in some scenes that Hashirama is still the one in charge between them. Tobirama seems to fairly naturally fall into a very useful support role to whoever he's fighting with, including Minato and Naruto.

I like both Minato and Tobirama because I have a weakness for characters who engage with their magic systems to make new things. Minato improved on the Flying Thunder God technique and Orochimaru improved on the Edo Tensai technique, but Tobirama invented BOTH of those things? PLUS Shadow Clones??? All of which are basically carrying a significant part of the battle right now? Like, damn, Hashirama has his Mokuton, and Tobirama was stubbornly like, "Not being left behind. Fuck you."

So, yeah, the "Hashirama versus Madara", "Tobirama versus Madara", "Minato (plus Naruto & Tobirama) versus Obito", and "Kakashi versus Obito" are probably my favorite parts of this. Not knocking on Naruto or Sasuke or the large background mob of characters here, but they just do not have the same personal, ugly, emotional history in this fight, so I don't really care as much.

Ino can forcibly link hundreds of unknown minds together so Shikamaru can broadcast battle plans??? Holy shit??? The vibe I'm getting is that she was using the link apparently created by Naruto's chakra to do this, but still. Both Ino and Sakura have the potential to be incredibly OP badass characters and they are generally just... Not Allowed to take the spotlight here.

Shikamaru had this big dramatic chapter about surviving to become Naruto's future advisor someday, and I had to repress the urge to holler, "Gaaaaay!" at the screen. I do love the inherent homoeroticism of a right-hand man. (Also, *waves a hand vaguely* Gaara's whole everything.)

To be honest, though, I'm not even sure what Sasuke has spent the past fifty chapters doing. He's there! He sure is there! I think he just got stabbed, so now he gets to be emotional motivation for Naruto again. As far as I understand it, not being sure what Sasuke is actually doing sums up basically everything he does in the manga. There are too many characters here.

On that note, the vibe I'm getting from Orochimaru is that he's also mostly just here to spectate. Like, yeah, I know. Characters like Orochimaru and Sakura and Tsunade are keeping everyone alive with their bare fucking hands right now, but also, give Orochimaru some opera glasses and an alcoholic beverage and it wouldn't feel that out of place.

I'll probably have more to add at some point, but these are the (not that serious) notes off the top of my head.

#tossawary naruto #tossawary watching

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b0ng05 · 1 day

Text

Over this - Toxic!Amber Freeman x Reader

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Word Count: 6151

Prompt: Y/n receives a text from an unknown number. Only to find out it's her ex. She can't help but think about all the toxic stuff Amber did to her.

Warnings: Toxic Relationship! Mentions of abuse! Angst!!

Also, Not Proofread💅

Masterlist

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Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

I thought I was over it. I thought things had been left in the past. I thought she forgot about me. But after receiving a text from an unknown number, it was clear she didn’t. I laid in my bed, gazing at my ceiling as tears streamed down my face. It had been over 3 years. Yet the traumatizing memories that flooded back in felt so very fresh. Each incident vividly clear as my eyes fluttered shut.

Amber stares into her mirror, adjusting her dark hair and touching up her makeup. My arms were wrapped around her waist, my hand gently rubbing her stomach as I watched over her shoulder. Her TV was hooked up to her phone, playing her playlist that wasn’t all that rangeful. Most of the songs were just replaying, mainly the same artist’s songs. It was getting quite bland hearing the same voice over and over for the past hour. But I endured it while staring at her, utterly smitten.

“Isn’t she kind of overrated?” I tease playfully, referencing the artist singing, knowing she was one of Amber’s favorites. While poking Amber’s side in a playful manner, hoping to gain her attention for at least a moment. Having had been watching Amber for a while with no commentary or affection on her end for 15 minutes. Not that I minded, being with her felt more than enough.

Instead of hearing a sarcastic quip back from her like usual, my head is whipped to the side faster than I can register. Her hand hung in the air, giving me an explanation to my now turned face. “You just slapped me.” I say slowly, registering what the fuck just happened. “Yeah. Quit saying dumb shit.” She scoffs, turning back to her reflection, quite unfazed with her own actions.

I remove my arms from her waist after seeing the forming red print of her hand on my cheek in the reflection of her mirror. I backed up, going to grab my phone off her charger to leave, wanting out of the situation. But before I can even make it three steps away, her hand is wrapped tightly around my wrist in a strong grip. She turns me to face her, one hand trailing my hip.

“Where are you going?” She asks, her tone turning seraphic and sweet. “I’m leaving, I don’t want to be here.” I say, trying to move away from her grip to no avail. “Oh don’t be a baby. You know I didn’t mean it, Y/n/n. You know I wouldn’t hurt you like that seriously.” Amber's deceptively sweet tone calls out. Her hand moved to caress my cheek softly.

“Don’t go. Please?” Amber hums softly, a small pout on her lips and her eyes pleading with my own. I give in, unable to ignore the ache in my heart at the desperate look in her eyes. I put my phone down and move to sit beside her once more.

That was just the beginning of a toxic relationship that was to soon blossom. A lesson that I wasn’t aware I needed to learn. You hear the stories of toxic relationships and think it could never happen to you, that you would never fall for the sob stories and the twisted manipulative ways of lovers that seek oblivious prey.

Amber and I were at Tara’s house, all sitting in her living room watching some action movie on the TV. I was curled up to Amber’s side, her arm wrapped around my shoulder. Tara was sitting on the other side of me, her arm resting on the armrest and her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Tara lets out a huff of a laugh as a new actress enters the scene of the movie.

“Don’t you think that chick’s dress is ugly?” Tara jokes, the dress the actress wore was adorned with yellow and orange polka dots with a weird neckline that was not at all flattering for the actress’s figure. “I don’t think you should be judging Tara, especially with your body,” Amber chuckles as she glances over at Tara with a douchy smirk. Her hand rubbing along my shoulder as they have a moment of a silent stare off.

“Fuck off,” Tara mumbles, before setting her popcorn bowl down on the coffee table and walking upstairs to her room. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I whisper, looking at her completely disgusted with her rude behavior. “Oh come on, it was just a joke. She’ll get over it.” Amber rolls her eyes, attempting to pull me closer to her embrace.

“No. That was seriously fucked up. You don’t comment on someone else’s body.” I state, removing her arm from me as I stand up, going to follow Tara upstairs to apologize for Amber’s unacceptable behavior. “Seriously? Tara made a mean comment and you didn’t give her the cold shoulder!” Amber huffs, as she stands up, her arms raised outward in anger as she tries to make an excuse. “No. She commented on a dress design that was ugly. Not the woman’s body.” I scoff, walking over to the stairs. Fully intending to apologize to Tara on Amber’s behalf.

As I step on the landing to walk up the stairs, my vision goes black. Everything was too fast to understand. I feel a heavy pressure around my neck, and the back of my head aches with the force it slammed into the wall with. My body feels a numb tingly feeling, my legs much like jelly. As my vision tunnels back in, the sight I’m met with is Amber’s hand around my throat, slamming me against the wall behind me. Her grip was so tight that I could barely gasp for breath, surely to bruise later on. Her eyes were darker than before, the look was terrifying and had a sadistic essence that left my skin crawling and spine shivering. Her cocky smile no longer there, in place was a twitching snarl. I felt my heart drop in utter fear.

Before I could say an attempt to stutter out anything, she tried to play off her violent actions after seeing the fear written on my face. Her lips shifted into a flirty smirk, and leaning in to kiss me, her lips pressed against mine in a bruising manner that left mine aching and not in a good way, her hand still gripping my around throat tightly. As my senses start to come back to me, I push her away as hard as I can, making her stumble back a bit, and then I rush upstairs to Tara’s room, not bothering to knock. I open the door and shut it behind me. Tara looks up at me bewildered as she sees the fear, betrayal and confusion written on my face.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Tara asks, getting up from her bed to wrap her arms around me in soft gentle embrace. “I- I um- I’m sorry for how Amber was acting, it wasn’t right.” I apologize, struggling to find the words that I desperately wanted to speak. Fear eating at my mind, knowing Amber was just beyond the door. “Hey, hey, no, you don’t have to apologize for her, Y/n. She is her own person, and so are you, okay?” Tara soothes, her hand softly rubbing my back trying to comfort me. “I-”

Before I could speak another word, the door swung open, Amber entering the room. Her gaze hardens at the sight. She walks over and grabs my wrist, pulling me towards the door. “We gotta head out,” Amber states, but her tone was more so demanding. “What- wait-” Tara tries to intervene but to no avail with the intense glare that Amber sent her way.

Amber drags me out of Tara’s room towards the stairs, and once we got downstairs, she didn’t waste a second getting us out the front door and into her car. “What did you say to her?” Amber demands as she enters the driver’s seat of her car.

She quickly floors it out of Tara’s driveway, taking a left turn, wheels squealing, meaning we were going in the direction of her house. My stomach turns, a sickening feeling overcoming me at the sound of her tone and the look in her eyes. Mentally, I couldn’t help but think back to the psychology class Amber and I had attended yesterday at school. More so the lesson, the one on gut-brain connection. Never thought I’d actually use the information, but seeing and feeling it happen in real time made something click in my brain. I didn’t deserve this.

“I just apologized for you being an asshole.” I huffed, a new found confidence bestowed in my mind. “Excuse you? I was the asshole? No. You were a bitch for running off when I was trying to kiss you and make up.” Amber quips, her face contorting in anger and annoyance as she grips the steering wheel tightly. “You’re the one that wants to be a stubborn bitch about everything.”

“You put your fucking hands on me. I had a pretty good fucking reason to run. Pullover.” I uncross my arms, one hand going for the door handle. “No! I’m not fucking pulling over.” Amber seethes, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

“I don’t want to be near you right now! Pull over.” I demand, my head whipping to the car door when I hear her press the lock button on her side of the car. “I’m not fucking pulling over, we are gonna talk this out. I don’t wanna lose you!” Amber starts to make herself cry, a skill she had mastered in order to manipulate me into letting her have her way.

My phone starts to ring in my back pocket, I pull it out and check the screen, the caller ID showing my mom’s name. I let out a sigh of relief. “My mom is calling.” I state. I don’t bother to glance at her direction as I answer the phone. My parents taking priority over my highschool girlfriend. “Hey honey, we need you to come home and watch the dog. Your father and I are going out for date night,” My mom’s soothing voice informs.

“Yeah of course, I’ll be home in a few.” I say before ending the call, making sure to say an ‘I love you’ at the end. “My parents need me home.” I state. “Okay, so we’ll talk this out at your house.” Amber nods, wiping her tears with the sleeve of her hoodie.

“No, my parents don’t want anyone over while I’m home alone, and they just got new cameras installed last week.” I throw in a lie at the end, just craving some space away from her.

I had spent my whole summer, every single day at her home, at her side. It was already halfway through the school year and I still barely had room to breathe with her constantly at my side. Not only that, but she had been so controlling. The whole summer, she would refuse to let me go home when I wanted to unless my parents called me practically begging me to come back home. She went through my phone, blocking every friend that she deemed a threat to our relationship, some that didn’t even do anything wrong at all. All just so she could feel more in control of our relationship.

“Okay, so you can still facetime me when you get home right?” Amber asks sternly, her hand moving to grip mine in a tight grasp. “Yeah, I’ll call you after my parents leave.” I lie through my teeth, planning to fake a low battery before the call.

“Okay… Promise?” Amber asks, glancing at me for a brief moment before her eyes turn back to the road, taking a turn towards my house to drop me off. “I promise.” I nod, lifting her hand up to my lips to kiss the back of it. She smiles and caresses the back of my hand with her thumb. “Also, we gotta talk about Tara. I don’t want us hanging out with her anymore.” Amber commands. “But why? I thought you liked Tara? She’s nice.” I say bewildered by her.

“Yeah, a little too nice to you.” Amber scoffs, her hand moving to grip my thigh possessively, “You are mine, and I don’t want you seeing her. Is that clear?” Amber questions, her hand gripping my thigh in an increasingly painful grip. “Yes ma’am.” I mumble, wincing in pain.

“Good girl.” Amber smirks in satisfaction as her hand gently rubs over when her nail marks are now indented. Amber turns into the driveway of my house, parking her car in the driveway. She turns to me, reaching out to caress my cheek. Looking at me with the same look that always won me over. “I’m gonna miss you.” Amber pouts, tracing over my bottom lip with her thumb.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” I say, feeling a pang of guilt at the sight of her pout. “Okay… Give me one more kiss?” She asks, leaning closer, her breath brushing against my lips. “Okay,” I nod, leaning in to kiss her softly before pulling away. “I love you,” Amber calls as I unbuckle my seatbelt and open the car door. “I love you too…” I say back before closing the car door behind me.

I walk up my driveway, feeling her eyes on me as I get to the door. I quickly get inside and lock the door behind me. Upon entering, my mom appears from the entrance of the kitchen. “There you are,” She walks over to me, “Your dad and I will be back in a couple hours, take care of our dog, alright? Make sure he isn’t lonely.” My mom laughs a bit at the end as she hugs me.

She grabs her purse and coat, “Let’s go!” She yells up the stairs to my dad who was taking his precious time on his hair. He quickly rushes down the stairs, nearly tripping down them, but catching himself with a nervous smile as he looks over at my mom who was unamused by his inability to be careful. “We’ll be back soon, love you kiddo,” My dad grins, patting my shoulder before offering his arm out to my mom as they walk out to their car.

Once they exit, I make sure the front door is locked, checking the back door too. No, I wasn’t expecting Amber to show up again, but I wouldn’t put it past her. Once I made sure they were secure, I called my dog to come with me up to my bedroom.

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

I sigh as I rub my eyes with the back of my hands. It hurts to think I was so naive. And now, with her texting me, it was all just carving open old wounds that weren’t fully finished healing. A speedy thump to the heart in my chest, one that I didn’t want but couldn’t control. My mind flashes with memories that I wish I could forget.

We were laying in Amber’s bed, her head resting on my chest as we watched videos on my phone that I held on my stomach. Her hand was softly rubbing my hip. “She looks familiar.” I comment, referring to the woman in the video who was explaining an ongoing situation in the world. “You think she’s pretty, don’t you?” Amber scoffs, lifting her head off my chest to look back up at me with an unamused look, her eyebrows furrowed.

“No, I’m just saying that I think I’ve seen her videos before,” I elaborate, softing stroking her hair trying to ease her mind. “Don’t fucking lie to me.” Amber scoffs, sitting up and taking my phone out of my hand. “I’m not lying, baby. I promise.” I say softly, my hand moving to gently caress her cheek, but she pushes my hand away. “I can’t even trust anything you fucking say.” Amber gets up from the bed, pacing her room, her face contorted in anger, that dark look in her eyes coming back.

I felt my heart race in my chest, not liking when she got like this, usually I could calm her down before a total meltdown. “You’re such a fucking liar! I saw you at school talking to Tara on Tuesday, y’know that?!” She seethes, lifting her arm back as she chucked my phone with no intent in direction. It felt like it happened in slow motion as the phone smacked me right in the face, hitting my nose and lip in a harsh manner. My hands quickly rush to cradle my face in pain.

“Fuck!” I cry in pain, blood gushing from my nose, my lip now busted from being pinched hard between my tooth and phone. Blood dripped down my lip and momentarily stained my teeth. “God don’t be so dramatic, it was an accident.” Amber rolls her eyes as she grabs a towel that was hanging off the back of her closet, walking over to hold it to my face.

“One that you could have fucking prevented!” I scoff, trying to push her hands away as I tried to hold the towel myself. “Baby, you know I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t do that to you on purpose, I just got angry” Her tone turns sweet and soft, her hand running soothingly through my hair. “But you did!” I say, trying to move away from her. “It wasn’t my fault!” Amber huffs, pulling me into her arms, tight enough that I couldn’t get away.

She leans down and presses soft kisses on my cheek, whispering sweet nothings to calm me down and get me to stop trying to squirm away. After almost 20 minutes, I no longer fought her embrace, rather leaning into it as she rubbed my back softly. Her hand holding the towel to my face, coddling me. My mind was busy thinking on how I would explain the injuries to my mom when I got home.

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.

I let out a shaky breath, my eyes closed as I stewed in my thoughts. My hand brought up to my face, tracing over where the bump on my lip used to reside, the memories felt so fresh that I could almost feel the old wound. Then another memory flashed through my head, an invisible stake of pain piercing through the back of my skull. Remembering her was only gutting my stability further.

Amber and I were walking around a bar in a busy part of town, her mom was a busy woman, and one of her friends was having a cancer benefit. Her mother was only able to attend for 30 minutes before having to leave for a work meeting. She requested that Amber and I stay behind in her place, also asking us to make sure her name was at the top of all the raffle items for the benefit. Amber agreed after being lectured by her mother. I remained by her side, trying to be a supportive girlfriend.

We walked into the room that held the raffle buckets next to the items and the clipboard to list your name along with your bid for the item. Amber’s mother did not spare a dime with the tickets she bought, wanting to be as supporting as she can for her friend, as well as wanting to win a full massage and mani pedi. “God this is boring,” Amber whispers, guiding me to a wall for us to lean on. I lean my back against the cold brick wall, Amber moving to stand in front of me, her hand caressing my waist. “Calm down, we only have to be here for a bit longer like your mom asked.” I mumble quietly, my eyes scanning the room, observing the people in the crowded area. “Why not make it a little interesting~?” Amber smirks, her hand moving to cup my jaw as she leans in and connects her lips with mine, trying to start a heated makeout session, I push her back slightly. “I don’t feel like this is appropriate. This isn’t the time or place, I don’t feel comfortable doing this here.” I voice my concerns softly, trying not to upset her as I caress her cheek gently.

“Uhuh sure~” Amber’s smirk doesn’t falter as she leans in and forces her lips against mine once more. My hands move to her shoulders trying to push her back. Her hands move to grip my waist tighter, trapping me between the wall and her. With the crowd as busy and as drunk as they were, didn’t notice my struggle. Except for one woman, who just so happened to be working at the cancer benefit. ��Excuse me, you two need to go. Out. Now.” An older woman with dark brown hair and a Monroe piercing scolds, her thin eyebrow quirked up.

I recognized her as one of the women Amber’s mother was talking with earlier before she took her leave. I felt a disgusting guilt building up inside me. I felt dirty, not in a good way, in a vile way. Amber knew how I felt about PDA, especially in settings like this. “Yeah, yeah.” Amber rolls her eyes, smiling cockily as she grabs my hand dragging me out of the room into the bar area where they would soon announce the winners. I went to sit down on one of the only empty stools left, but Amber stopped me, sitting down in the seat, making me stand in front of her as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. A blonde woman with glasses in an olive green dress stood up to begin announcing the winners from the raffle and bids. After a harrowing thirty minutes, all the winners were announced, none of which were Amber’s mother. My legs were killing me, having stood the whole time with the pressure of Amber’s head and arms resting on me.

“Whatever, let’s go.” Amber scoffs, feeling some sort of selfish anger for having wasted her time. I couldn’t understand her anger. But Amber got mad over a lot of minor things, so it wasn’t really a surprise that this was sparking a flame of anger in her. Amber grabbed my hand and dragged me through the crowds of people in the small bar. We get out the door and after a few steps outside, Amber stops me. She was shivering, having worn only a t-shirt and jeans in the middle of fall.

“Give me your hoodie.” She states, holding out her pale ringed hand. “Why? You chose to not wear a hoodie when I told you to wear one.” I say, my eyebrows furrowing, still kind of pissed off about her making me stand up the whole half hour. “Maybe because I’m your fucking girlfriend and your ride home.” Amber snaps back, her jaw clenching as she snaps her fingers, cueing me to give her the hoodie. “Okay..” I sigh, peeling off my dark green hoodie and handing it to the girl, leaving me in t-shirt and cargo pants. I didn’t want to walk home tonight, so I didn’t see the point in arguing with her further. I could feel the cold dry sting of the air hit me. I shivered, and we began to walk to her car. When we got to her car, she was livid, the parking meter had expired, a ticket sat under the windshield wiper. Her eye twitched a bit as she hastily walked over, snatching the ticket off the windshield and getting in the car. I quickly follow suit, not wanting to piss her off more. I get into the car, shutting the door behind me. I buckle my seatbelt, feeling an absolute need to, knowing she’s seething in anger. As I got in, she seemed cool for a minute, before her fist drove into the steering wheel, punching repeatedly. I reached out and held her hand with mine, preventing her fist from hitting it again, not wanting her to hurt herself. I unbuckle my seatbelt and lean over, holding her head to my chest, embracing her tightly. I move over to straddle her lap. Her arms wrap around me, holding me breathlessly tight, letting out a frustrated and muffled cry out into my chest.

I felt guilty. She was having a hard day already, her mom yelled at her earlier, a woman scolded us, she was upset about the raffle, I argued about the hoodie, and now she has a ticket. I kissed the crown of her forehead and whispered sweet nothings trying to calm her down. Once her breathing was more normal, I pulled back and looked back into her eyes, feeling a jolt to my heart as hers met mine.

“You okay?” I whisper softly, kissing her cheek a few times. Her lips were puffed out in a small pout and her eyes were teary as she stared back at me. “I’m sorry, I just- I got overwhelmed.” Amber mumbles, pressing her face back into my chest

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.

Unknown: I need you 11:30 p.m.

I bit my bottom lip, as I thought about her eyes. Back then, I thought I always saw her eyes softening when she gazed back at me, but now that it’s been years, I have come to realize it was her loving the power and control she had over me. The way she had me wrapped around her finger no matter what.

It was a few days after the incident where she had slapped me over a joke I made about her music.

Amber and I were cuddling in her bed when my phone buzzed in the sheets next to us. She picked it up and checked the notification. My head was nuzzled into the crook of her neck, her hand that wasn’t occupied with my phone was stroking my hair softly. “Your ex fucking texted you.” Amber scoffs, opening the text. Her hand stopped stroking my hair, moving to aid her other hand with the phone.

“Block her,” I mumble, too sleepy to care about whatever my ex wants. “She said she found your hoodie and wants you to come pick it up.” Amber says after reading the text. “Tell her to throw it away.” I say, pressing a soft kiss to her neck. “No, actually…” Amber pauses thinking, “Go pick up the hoodie.” She states, pushing my head off her neck. “Why? I don’t want it.” I huff, a bit pouty about her ruining my comfortable position.

“Well I do, because then the next time that bitch stalks your instagram, she’ll get the pleasure of seeing me in your hoodie.” Amber smirks, handing my phone back to me. “Why does it matter if it’s that one? You’re on my instagram wearing my hoodies in most of our pictures,” I ask confusedly as I lean over to kiss her cheek before putting my phone in my pocket. “Because, I get to rub it in that you’re mine. If she’s willing to go through the trouble of giving you your hoodie back, she gets to go through the trouble of seeing me in it later.” Amber states before kissing me softly. “Now go get that hoodie.” She smiles, waving me off. Within a ten minute walk, I was outside my ex’s house. She stood on her burgundy colored porch, holding a familiar black hoodie in her hands. I walked up to the stairs of her porch. She smiles at me, sitting down on one of the steps as she hands it to me. “Hey… how are you?” She asks, her tone nothing but friendly.

Before she and I had broken up, we used to be close friends. Even after the break up, we remained friends until I met Amber. We broke up for the main reason that while being with me, she discovered that what she thought were romantic feelings towards me were nothing but platonic. I had felt the same way and hence the being friends thing. “I’m okay, how are you?” I ask, my voice a little rough from having walked over on a hot summer day with no water. “I’m alright. But I’m worried about you,” She pauses, “Mindy told me that you stopped talking to most of the group. What’s going on with you?” She asks softly, her hand touching my shoulder in a comforting manner. I let out a shaky sigh as tears welled up in my eyes. “Things have been difficult lately.” I state vaguely, running a hand through my hair. “What do you mean? You can talk to me. You know I won’t say a thing,” She says, knowing I’ve had a past of people telling my business to other people who have no right to it. “Amber has been getting more controlling, and well…” I sigh and wipe my face with my hand. “And what?” She whispers softly, trying to remain supportive and comforting. “She slapped me the other day,” I mumble, not wanting to have to face the reality, but knowing I need to. “What? Y/n, that’s not okay,” A small gasp comes from her mouth as she rubs my arm comfortingly. She knew this kind of behavior from anyone, especially a teenager, wasn’t okay whatsoever. She didn’t honestly have any other words besides, “You need to tell an adult.” She pauses her words, to try to lay them out more kindly, “What she’s doing isn’t right. You don’t deserve to be hurt.” She says. My phone buzzes in my back pocket, I pull it out to check it. The realization of how much time had passed brings me concern as the notification from Amber popped up. She asked what was taking me so long, and told me to hurry up.

“I gotta go, I’m sorry,” I say, slipping my phone back in my pocket before turning to walk off, missing the look of pity that my ex sent me as I walked off. I quickly hurried back to Amber’s house, despite the smoldering heat that threatened to wind me down to the sidewalk. I get back to her house, to see her waiting on her couch with her feet propped up on the dark brown coffee table in front of her. “You get the hoodie?” Amber asks, looking up from her phone. “Y- yeah.” I say through heavy breaths. I toss it over to her. She picks it up, inspecting it and the design.

“What took you so long?” She interrogates, looking back up at me with a bated stare.

“It was a long walk in hot heat,” I excuse, moving to sit beside her as I pick up her water bottle off the table to take a swig. “BS, what took you so long?” She scoffs, turning to face me with a raised brow. “My ex asked how I was doing,” I admit, looking up to meet her eyes. “And what did you say?” Amber asks, squinting her eyes. “I said I was fine,” I shrug, setting the water bottle back down on the table. “And that was it?” Amber asks, not convinced at all. “That was it.” I say, my eyes accidentally diverting from hers out of guilt. “Bullshit. What else?” She demands, grabbing my chin to force me to look at her. “She said that Mindy told her I wasn’t coming around the group as much anymore.” I admit further, wanting her to let my chin out of her tight grip. Amber lets out a dark chuckle, pinching the bridge of her nose. “A whole month without speaking to you and she still can’t keep you off her damn mind. No wonder I felt the need to keep you away from her.” Amber rolls her eyes, pulling me into her lap. I don’t say anything, not wanting to argue and cause a bigger reaction from her. Instead I silently snuggled up to the crook of her neck as she ran her ringed hand over my back in small soothing circles.

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.

Unknown: I need you 11:30 p.m.

Unknown: Answer babe 11:33 p.m.

I didn’t hate her, after all the bullshit she did then. Not until Richie. That’s when I started to.

I walked into Amber’s home, a happy grin along my lips. I came over planning to surprise her with a cute box of snacks and drinks I made for her. I spent hours on the box alone, painting each side, attempting to recreate her favorite Stab movie covers on each side, paying close attention to each detail to try and make it near perfect for her. The box was nearly overflowing in her favorite snacks and drinks. I walked up the stairs towards her bedroom, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as I heard a bed creaking. I didn’t see anyone else’s car in the driveway so I made the stupid assumption of her having a reasonable explanation like taking care of her own needs. I balance the box on the side of my hip as I open her bedroom door. What I didn’t expect to see was Richie on top of her as she moaned out his name. The box dropped from under my arm, loudly crashing to the floor, capturing the attention of both of them. Amber’s eyes widened as she was at a loss for words. I saved her the brain power by running out of the house and driving away before she could even reach me. By the time I reached my house, I ran inside, tears leaving my eyes as I called one person that I thought I’d never call again. Tara. I called Tara. No explanation, just telling her I needed her to come to my house immediately. I went to each door and window in my house, making sure they were locked and if possible covered with the curtains and blinds. Knowing that Amber was persistent and if I didn’t pick up her calls eventually, she’d show up. I just prayed Tara would be here before then. I needed to tell someone the truth, because I didn’t quite frankly know what to do with it. Being a teenager, you don’t expect to be used like a punching bag or cheated on with a grown ass man.

I was sitting on my living room couch, my phone was tossed on the coffee table, buzzing with texts from Amber. All I knew was that I didn’t want to hear it. As I cried on the couch, a knock on the front door broke me from my sob session. I got up quickly, making my way to the door quietly before peaking out the peephole, seeing Tara standing at my doorstep. I unlock and open the door, letting the girl in before locking the door back up.

“Hey, what’s going on with you?” Tara asks softly, seeing my tear stained face. I shake my head to prevent a sob from breaking through as I hug her, burying my head in her shoulder. As my cries wrack my body, she holds me close, stroking my hair softly, shushing my cries. “It’s gonna be okay, we’ll get over this.” She whispered, unsure of what the situation was, but more than willing to try and help.

Unknown: Hey, you awake? 11:21 p.m.

Unknown: It’s Amber 11:22 p.m.

Unknown: I miss you 11:24 p.m.

Unknown: Please baby 11:27 p.m.

Unknown: I need you 11:30 p.m.

Unknown: Answer babe 11:31 p.m.

Unknown: Fucking answer me 11:33 p.m.

“Babe, turn your phone off, I can’t sleep with the constant notifications,” A tired brunette groans beside me in bed. She turns over in the sheets, burying her face in the crook of my neck with a tired pout. “Sorry, love. I’ll turn it off.” I kiss the top of Tara’s head, turning the do not disturb on my phone. I hover my finger over the button on my phone screen. I press down on the block button. I’m over this.

#amber freeman x fem reader #amber freeman x y/n #amber freeman x you #amber freeman #amber freeman x reader #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter

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physalian · 2 days

Text

So you’ve got an idea for a story….

Once again and as always, writing is highly subjective and any writing advice that says you *must* do X or all books *must* include Y or doing Z during your writing process is *wrong* kind of misses the point of the freedom of storytelling and I’m not a fan. This is how I approach writing and one way you could consider doing the same if you’ve got all these ideas and nowhere to put them, not the way you must approach writing.

Cool? Cool.

—

We’ll start with how I write fanfic because that’s a far less intimidating market. I don’t write drabble fics and coffee shop AUs. I grew up writing fix-it fics and in-universe canon divergences. Essentially: Stop the real story right here, now what if this happened instead?

Personally, I just don’t get fulfillment from writing fanfic fluff (though I do love reading it). Even if I’m committing time and effort into something that will never make me money and that people might not even read for fun due to dead fandoms or whatever, I’m still going to use it as writing exercise and give it some substance.

That’s just me, though. I used to write stuff like character studies and deep dives, and the last fic I wrote to date was a “hey what if this villain went to the good side way sooner and it wasn’t just played as a joke on his cowardice?” and its sequel.

So I started that first fic with an idea: What if K joined the good guys earlier? How would that impact the story?

Immediately after that, I was thinking about the ending and what tentpole ideas in the canon I wanted to keep, but the meat of the story I knew I wanted to focus on K’s emotional and existential struggle of switching sides, risking becoming an enemy to both factions, after the inciting incident of his (absolutely canonical) partner’s murder, that, in canon, did not get the justice he deserved. When I wrote my post about beginnings and endings, I said that endings for me are way easier than beginnings—this is why. Before I even start writing, my ending is decided.

Basically: Yes, I’m writing a story using someone else’s fictional characters, as one does when writing fanfic. The story uses cartoon characters, but it’s about one person’s struggle with their identity in the wake of tragedy, and how they take life by the horns to make it out of the story the hero they deserve to be recognized as.

And with that core idea in mind, then I write the story around it. The story, which, outside the canon that I had to keep, I had no plan for. The settings and minutiae of the set pieces weren’t as important as what each scene did for the themes and K’s emotional reaction to them happening. I needed to give him enough alone time with the characters of the hero team to learn something from them, enough time on his own to test his new loyalties, and enough time with his old team so he can juxtapose the two and make sure he’s doing the right thing by deserting.

The last thing on my mind was what tropes I wanted to fulfill. Romantic subplots and the like just kind of happened organically and weren’t planned.

—

For Eternal Night of the Northern Sky the idea I had was this: Most vampire stories are about the drama surrounding vampires that depend on humans to survive. So what if I wrote a story where humans depended on vampires to survive, in the exact same way?

Yes, the story is about vampires and everyone can say what they will about people who write vampire fiction. But it’s really about what it means to be a monster when survival demands some brutal decisions. What does it mean to be a monster if everyone is a monster?

ENNS wasn’t planned, I just started writing and had the first draft done in 31 days and through the entire editing process, the plot didn’t change from draft 1 to draft final, save for a few scenes where I had to fix the surface level problem some characters were facing, but not the reason why they were facing it.

The plot never needed massive rewrites because every scene reflected back on the core themes of the story, and every single scene was necessary to tell it. So even when I had to change the intensity of an argument or flesh out a conversation or change the tone of something here or there, the purpose of whatever was underneath remained.

With that throughline in mind, the rest of the book fell into place around it. My core characters each have a role to answer that thematic question, and side characters around then were created to fill in the world, provide friends, relatives, romances, and the like, each with their own perspectives still on that one big question. My villains, too, all exist to answer that question. Outside of the romances, every single scene is doing at least one thing either for the plot, the protagonist, or the deuteragonist to answer that question. ENNS’ secondary themes were also written into as many scenes as I could (of which I won’t spoil here).

When you write with a theme like this in mind, it gives you these sort of bowling bumper rails to help keep you from straying off into superfluous storylines that bog down the pacing and start to feel messy.

Yes, you’re writing fanfic. But what is it really about? Now maybe it is just a coffee shop AU or 50k words of smut—you do you. Not everything has to be deep and meaningful beyond being entertaining. Themes just provide direction.

For example, I like the idea of slowburn fanfics. The idea. I will happily sit down for a fic that’s half a million words long if the characters and the slowburn are compelling enough. There might not be themes, but the story never forgets its throughline—these two characters eventually coming together.

In practice, though, I see way too many “slowburn” fics out there that are just 90% fluff. The chapters stagnate, trading development for taunting the audience with the will they/won’t they. The plot toddles off to to play around in irrelevant scenes with irrelevant characters. Things that probably wouldn’t bother me if I wasn’t already expecting the romance that was promised, the romance I have to keep waiting for when I could just go read something else that delivers it faster and clearer.

—

Even if your writing process begins with a few scattered sticky notes and a notion of what you kind of want it to be about, you don’t have to hammer out pages of prose to be productive.

If you get stuck halfway through, having your throughline helps you sit back and ask yourself this very important question: What does Character want, how do they get it, and what’s in their way?

#writing advice #writing resources #writing a book #writing tips #writing tools #starting a book #writing #writeblr #character development #writing themes #ENNS

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tommytomatoe · 3 days

Text

imagine kidnapping angel and babe for information on the shaw pack just to end up getting stuck with two sarcastic assholes.

here’s how i think it would go...

investigator: tell us what you know about close-knit?

babe: what the fuck is a close-knit?

angel: oh, is that the new haunted sushi restaurant that just opened downtown?

babe: no no no, you’re thinking of ghost fish. they’re talking about close-knit.

angel: oh wait, yeah! that’s the thing sweetheart always tells us not to do.

babe: no dude, that’s don’t snitch. they’re asking about close-knit.

angel: like the sticky note?

babe: that’s a post-it. a literal post-it note, open your ears. close-knit. close, space, knit.

angel: the thing pewdiepie does at the end of his videos?

investigator: what the fuck.

babe: close, but no. that’s a brofist. they want close-knit

investigator: that wasn’t even close.

angel: i love that story in the bible where he parts the sea and stuff.

babe: dumbass that's moses, MO-SES. they want close-knit. clos- look at my lips. watch how i pronounce this.

investigator: let’s just give them back.

babe took angel to have their ears checked after this situation #friendshipgoals

#i can only write dialogue #oops #my two favorite unempowered mates #redacted asmr asher #redacted asmr #redacted asmr david #redacted asmr angel #redacted asmr babe #i literally love them #redacted babe #redacted angel #redacted audio #david shaw #asher talbot #redacted asher #redacted david #redacted asmr headcannons

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nite-puff · 2 days

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Hey hey your idea about Daiya being a closeted animator making the queerest character he could with Mondo sent me down a mental rabbit hole (pun unintentioned haha). It made me think of Andreas Deja, gay Disney animator who did and still does a lot of stuff for the company, but one of the things he's most famous for is for being the supervising animator on the queer-coded villain trifecta of Gaston, Jafar, and Scar. That made me think about Mondo in the context of the AU and how Ishimondo in canon has that sort of enemies-to-lovers thing going on. So, thought..... what if Mondo was never made to be Kiyotaka's love interest at all, but his queer-coded antagonist? And offscreen the queer-coding that was baked into him for a gag (or at least with the excuse that it's a gag) blossomed into something deeper with his cartoon co-star?

THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA WHAT????

maybe they had something that was overall very similar to the ishimondo story, where their pre-determined roles as a protagonist and antagonist kinda affected how they viewed each other off set as well. because that’s how they just are outside of their cartoons as well. they were literally made to hate each other. but push comes to shove and they end up in a situation where they’re pretty much forced to spend time with each other and learn about each other beyond their roles as hero and villain. and the result of that was a cute friendship. which quickly developed into something more.

also. their relationship progressing like this really affected how they performed in their cartoons. they can’t even pretend to hate each other anymore because that’s not how they feel. it’s mondo and taka, what’re ya gonna do??

eventually the studio gets sick of it and has to make the decision to separate them, at least on set. they can’t just let go of their star, so they’re forced to fire mondo and replace him with a new antagonist. which is how mondo ends up performing in night clubs and such. his iconography is bound to attract a lot of patrons, to say the least.

all in all, mondo and taka’s love story is one the film world has never seen before. there’s never been a toon couple that wasn’t previously written to be together, let alone a hero and a villain falling in love off set. it’s a rare occurrence, to say the least, but mondo and taka wouldn’t have it any other way.

(also mondo being a villain and him also being queer-coded during a time where i believe the hays code was in full effect was definitely a big contributor to why so many people found it easy to believe mondo was cheating on taka right??? i mean, if we’re going in the direction of the original movie…)

anyways, happy pride month to them.

#also i could make the connection that mondo being pigeonholed into a villain role could be similar to mondo having to be all strong and-#manly in dr. something about playing a role like that to please the masses #and how both came to be because daiya had some hand in it #something to think about ig #danganronpa #mondo owada #kiyotaka ishimaru #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #ishimondo #doodlepuff #askpuff #mondoblr

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mrsshabana · 17 hours

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honestly i need a story time about the cult? also the link to that podcast, im intrigued now lol

𝐌𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭

Ok children gather around. It's story time 🤓

Note: Now I won't provide a link because I talk about a lot of personal stuff including my name and location, and I don't want so many people having access to that. But I don't mind telling my story here.

Content warning: Mentions of religious trauma and eating disorders

Ok, so let me set the scene. I was 18 and moved out of my parents' house. I lived in a ghetto apartment near my university where I was studying art.

Now when I moved out my parents stopped talking to me. So I really felt alone, I had no family, no friends, and I was in a new place so I was very desperate to have a connection with someone. So really I was the perfect victim for a cult because I was vulnerable.

One day I was walking out of the mathematics building when a student stopped me and asked me if I would like to read the bible with her. She was a Korean international student and she was really nice so I was like sure why not. Now at this point, I wasn't super religious but I did consider myself a Christian. But I never knew the bible very well and my family was the kind of family that only went to church on easter and Christmas.

So anyway, I read the bible with her and she explained it to me. The way she explained the passage was insinuating that there was a female version of god. That was something I had never heard of before but it was interesting to me so I decided to come with her to her bible study.

Long story short it ended up being this organization called "The World Mission Society Church of God." I went to their church and spent hours with them every Wednesday and Saturday because they made me feel accepted. They welcomed me and became like my family which I didn't have at the time.

Something I really loved about them was that their church was so diverse. There were so many different kinds of people there, I really felt welcome. Because growing up churches seemed so segregated. I'm biracial, my mom is white and my dad is black so growing up we either went to the white church or the black church. And at both I felt like people would stare at me and my family and that I wasn't welcome there.

So it felt really nice to have such a diverse church where I felt truly welcomed. Anyway, I ended up making a lot of friends there and I stayed with them for about 6 months. Then I figured out they were actually a cult. It's a long story but I won't go into it because this isn't even the main part yet.

After leaving the World Mission Society I felt really lonely again because I lost the only friends and sense of belonging I had. But I had to just keep going.

Maybe about 3 months later this random Korean guy approached me on campus and he asked me if I'd like to participate in a survey thing about the bible. I was skeptical at first because my previous church had told me that every Korean person was a part of their church. (Which obviously is NOT true). But my mind was thinking, "Oh no, what if they are trying to get back to me."

But I decided that it's not right to assume that this man is a part of that cult just because he's Korean. So I agreed to participate in this survey and I gave him my phone number.

Basically, a professor was writing a book where she'd answer people's most common questions about the bible. And she was surveying students to collect questions for the book. It sounded pretty cool to me so I was very interested.

I met up with the professor at a Starbucks on campus and I answered her questions about things I've always wondered about the bible. We'll call this lady Anya.

During our meeting, I expressed to Anya how I felt discarded by god because of my previous cult experience. I felt like I wasn't worthy of his love and I was very ashamed of what I did. Because we would literally pray to a human man who claimed to be god. After leaving I knew that wasn't true, and I figured god no longer loved me for what I did.

Anya was so encouraging and kind. She told me that is it 100% untrue, and that god does love me. That he put me through that experience for a reason and it only made me stronger.

Then she offered to do some bible study lessons with me so I could learn things the right way and start to feel a little bit better about my situation. And of course, I agreed. I was desperate to redeem myself and make friends again.

So I started going to this bible study once a week. Which turned to twice a week. Which turned into me going to some woman's house to have lessons. We'll call this woman Cara.

Cara was from Korea and so was her husband, they were extremely nice and welcomed me into their home. They would feed me ramen and cool snacks, and I honestly felt like a part of their family. There were lots of people in this bible study too and I made a ton of friends.

So fast forward, I had been studying the bible with them for about a year now. And nothing crazy, I was learning about the parables of the bible and the meanings of all those things in the bible that make no sense. It was very informative and interesting but nothing outlandish.

They sit us down for this big "reveal" about who the 2nd coming of Jesus is. Now they hyped it up so much and they told us that we can't judge this person no matter what. This whole time I thought it was going to be someone crazy like Kanye West or something. But no, it was an old Korean man.

He seemed unassuming enough? I had never heard of him so I didn't know why they made such a big deal out of it.

Now at this point, you are probably thinking, "Why the hell would you fall for this again?" Listen, trust me I was frustrated with myself when I left but you have to understand these people love-bombed me when I had no one. They became my family when I had none. They lied to me for an entire year so I'd trust them and get close to them before they revealed who they really were.

And they were a church called Shincheonji.

And I had no problem accepting this because these people had been my family and my best friends for an entire year. They'd feed me, watch movies with me, do anything to help me out. So I trusted them wholeheartedly. But really I was just being brainwashed.

So after I found out that they were Shincheonji they put me in their group for advanced students. And I'd begin studying multiple times a week at Cara's house and Anya was always there too. I would join the twice-weekly sermons via zoom as well. Where one of the Korean tribe leaders would give a sermon about something. I was in the Mathias tribe by the way, though that doesn't really matter.

I would do so so much with them, we even all went on a road trip to Houston where the other branch was. They even got me a birthday cake and surprised me for my birthday too. It was honestly great, and I loved them a lot.

We were basically encouraged to recruit as many people as we can because if we don't they will go to hell. They put so much pressure on us for this. They'd say things like, "Don't you want to save them?" And I am a very empathetic person so I felt like omg I want to save everyone! But on the other hand, ever since I joined Shincheonji my anxiety and depression went through the roof. The pressure to save the entire world is a lot for a 21-year-old girl. So I never recruited anyone myself because I didn't want them to have to struggle with the same mental health issues I did when I joined.

I also had some physical health issues arise as well. Their teachings would always preach how "The word of god is all the food we need." How spiritual food was more important than physical food. And that really stuck with me, especially when I got food poisoning and I couldn't eat solid food for two weeks. Something about not eating made me feel good. Like I didn't even need food because the word of god was enough, so why not just not eat at all? Not eating felt like the only thing I could control, so I clung to it. And I became anorexic. Being with Shinchenji was the only time I was ever considered underweight.

Anyway, I have so many crazy stories to tell about my time with them but I'll save those for another day.

I had been with them for about two and a half years before I started to question things.

We got a new teacher from Korea to replace Cara because she was going to have a baby. And this new teacher was a lot different and a lot less loving and nurturing than Cara had been.

She had said some things that I didn't agree with, and it started putting some doubt in my mind.

Ok so, on a side note I used to work at the library at my school doing data entry in the basement. And I would listen to podcasts a lot throughout the day as I did my work.

One day I found an interesting podcast about cults, where the host would bring cult victims onto the show and they'd tell their story. Well I was listening to an episode about the Moonies and I thought to myself, "Huh, they sound very similar to Shincheonji in some ways..."

But I knew I could not think such thoughts and that if I did any research then the devil would poison me through the internet. And I needed to strengthen my spirit for even thinking of such a thing.

So I went to reddit, and I found a subreddit called r/Shincheonji. I was like, "Oh yes! Now I can talk to other Shincheonji members and we can strengthen each other's faith!"

But it wasn't a subreddit for believers. It was a subreddit for ex-members and people who were against Shincheonji.

And at this point, I had already seen enough to plant that seed of doubt in me. I read more and more even though Shincheonji warned me I'd be poisoned if I ever researched them. But I couldn't stop myself.

I went through so much inner turmoil, you guys have no idea. My reality was crumbling so hard and I felt like my world was ending. It's hard to explain, but I was so indoctrinated and brainwashed by this point. This really ruined me.

I had to mourn the loss of all of the family and friends I gained these past years. I would cry almost every night because I missed them, and it was so hard to accept that they never truly loved me at all. To be honest, I still think about some of them to this day and I hope they got out and found peace in their lives.

No one in my life had known I was a part of Shincheonji. My closest friends nor my family, who had slowly started talking to me again. But I had to tell someone so I told my childhood best friend, we'll call him Blaine.

I got in a Playstation party with Blaine and I just cried. I cried so so much, and he was so confused. But eventually, I told him everything. And he was really supportive and gave me no judgment at all.

My main issue was, how could I leave? I have quite literally been living a double life this entire time and not having that scared the shit out of me. But Blaine advised me to cut them off completely and just leave without saying anything. Because his concern was that if they got the chance to talk to me, they would most certainly be able to pull me back in. And I know them well enough to know this is true. So that's exactly what I did, I left and went cold turkey. I even went as far as changing my work schedule too.

And here's where things get creepy.

I hadn't spoken to them for about a week now, and I'm at work. I'm working as usual in the basement on the computers and low and behold, three girls walk in. Girls from my cult, girls that I was close to.

Now students aren't allowed to just waltz into this room so they had some big balls to do that. But the weird thing was, I had completely changed my schedule and I was working on a day I normally had off. They should have had no idea I was there.

But here they were, holding a large cup of boba from my favorite place. And in my favorite flavor too, winter milk cap with mango popping bubbles.

They came up to me and said, "Hey girl, we noticed you haven't been coming to worship lately. Is everything alright?"

I said, "Oh uh yeah everything's fine! I've just been super busy with work and a ton of projects for class..."

"Ok, well we got this for you," they handed me the boba, "We were hoping to talk to you. We can wait for you outside and talk to you when you get off."

I started panicking so I said, "My mom is actually picking me up as soon as I get off so I won't be able to, I'm sorry! Maybe another time though, I'll text you."

They were convinced by my response so they left. And boy did I RUN so fucking fast after I got off work. I even called Blaine so he could talk to me in case they came after me, but luckily they didn't and I got home ok.

He started yelling at me for drinking the boba saying, "YOU IDIOT! THEY PROBABLY POISONED IT!"

But hey, free boba is free boba.

Anyway, after that event I knew I had to text that girl and tell her I was deciding to leave Shinchenji because I didn't want them to show up at my job again or follow me around.

So I texted her, trying to be as nice as possible and explain to her that I just couldn't do it anymore. I told her how this affected my mental health and my physical health. How I developed an eating disorder from being in Shincheonji too.

Her response was really rude and condescending. She said my mental health issues and my eating disorder were my fault and the work of satan trying to blame them. She told me that once I leave I can never be accepted into heaven, that I'm damning myself to hell as well as all of my family members. I'll be honest, she made me feel incredibly guilty and selfish for leaving. Their teachings were still ingrained in me. But I knew that I could never return after everything, so I blocked her and never spoke to her again.

Oh yeah and that book the professor was writing in the beginning, that wasn't real and she wasn't a professor. It was just a ruse to lure students in.

I will admit I could never get their teachings out of my head. And to this day, even though I know they were wrong, a part of me believes I am going to hell for what I did and all of my family will suffer because of me. So now I can't even look at a bible, and I no longer consider myself religious.

And after this experience, I reached out to that cult podcast that helped me realize I was also in a cult, and I got an episode of my own where I got to tell my story.

So yeah haha that's my story!

Today only my close friends know, and I never told my parents. They still have no idea and honestly, I don't know if I will ever tell them.

I'm still really plagued by a lot of things they did, and my worldview has never been the same. My life has never been the same. But I've been cult free for about 2 years now so I'm just taking it one day at a time.

I'm sorry this was so long. But if you read the whole thing I want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading my story. And if you are a college student, please be careful because cults like this are rampant on college campuses, especially in the U.S.

After leaving the cult, I needed something to obsess over, something to make me feel normal. And that was Gyutaro! And I gotta say, obsessing over him is much healthier than obsessing over the teachings of a cult.

Anyway, I want you all to know that this blog has been an escape for me and helped me to feel normal again after this experience. And I don't need a cult to make me feel loved anymore. Because I have all of you :)

#𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 ʚ♡ɞ #𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 ʚ♡ɞ #my experiences

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moneymartin · 5 hours

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kate hcs? like what u did w nika plsss

・❥・- gf!kate hcs

warnings: harddd smut under the divider at the end and suggestive content :p

afab!r

a/n: i genuinely love doing hcs more than writing full on fics cause my lord i cannot write a whole story without going off track and ruining the entire thing… got carried away like always. also this is longgg overdue as well. i’ve been procrastinating everything and i feel bad for not releasing anything sooner like i promised. thank you for being patient w me lolz

i’m glad that we all agree… kate is theeee golden retriever girlfriend

i mean who wouldn’t say that

blonde masc that gives off happy vibes and literally has a tattoo that says ‘sunshine’

treats you like a real fuckin’ princess like she knows what she’s doing

okay kate lovesssss the kids

her and carson are so adorbs 💔

when someone asks her what her profession is she is not gonna say a pro hooper

shes gonna say that shes carson’s aunt 😭

def takes you over to kennedy’s house when she’s gone and makes you babysit carson w her 🥹

loves when they hold her fingers she thinks its the cutest thing in the world and you photograph the whole thing

spoils you fosho!!!!

mention one lil thing and shes buying it for you

new clothes, bags, shoes, jewelry, accessories. ANYTHING YOU WANNTTT!!!

yk how she likes tswift…

takes you to a concert for your bday if you do too

and wears that stupid cowboy hat 😒

but you guys would be matching soooo

DEFINITELY loves physical touch

hands hands handssss

they’re all over you in public like she is not afraid to show people you’re hers 😩

on your waist or hips. her fingers are always on you somehow

also does it romantically like she’ll intertwine pinkies with you and always holds your hand no matter the situation

the thumb thing is her favorite

loves pda foshooooo

i don’t think she’d be possessive but i feel like shes the jealous type

sees you w a girl at the bar or sumn and starts to FREAK!

she’ll sit next to you immediately and is touching you all over so that the girl goes away 😭

or shes burying her face into your neck and kissing your skin in front of her

WHEW!!!

everyone can disagree w me on this but i see her as lil spoon when you guys cuddle…

FIGHT ME ALL YOU WANT BUT THIS GIRL LOVEEESSSS WHEN YOU PLAY W HER HAIR WHILE SHE SLEEPS

kisses your neck or your collar while shes half asleep 😣

back rubs are her fav thing too

shes the one getting them tho cause she’s always so tense after practice and she believes that if you do it she’ll feel better already

we all know shes a passenger princess.

she probably has a car but refuses to drive it alone when you’re there cause she thinks she’ll crash it or something

lets you wear her clothes

if she was taller (most likely) she’d have you in all her shirts and stuff cause they look bigger on you

you think you shouldn’t wear anything under cause it hides everything anyways and kate agrees

in reality she just loves the easy access…

total baby when she’s drunk

and super clingy :(

arguments don’t happen often but when they do it ends real fast cause she knows how to calm you down 🥹🥹🥹

if anything though the arguments start cause its about something real stupid

teaches you how to play basketball if it isn’t your sport

can’t cook for SHIET!!!! burns eggs easily or somethin like that cause she can’t bring herself to learn

knows how to bake tho 100%

super adventurous

have you guys seen the pic of her zip lining… like she’s fearless when it comes to that stuff

hits the gym and weight room every fuckin day w you so she can build those arms 🤫

spots you when you think its too hard

KATE IS A MUNCH

ik y’all have seen that pussy eater jaw…

kisses are her thing as well

making out w you is the highlight of her night week day whatever!

initiates it all the time cause she knows you love it too

whines during it too me thinks…

when she needs you to shut up during it i firmly believe that she’ll kiss you to muffle the noises 😩

she isn’t straightforward but when she wants to she’ll make it obvious.

GROANER AND GRUNTERRRRR FOR SURE

cusses all the time

hard breather too

she’ll breathe out a bunch of words that you can barely hear cause of your own noises 💀 but you love hearing them cause you know she’s engaged

her strap game is crazy though i can tell…

feel like she’d sometimes just wear it for fun

she’ll wear it just for the looks and not to use it on you 😭😭

she doesn’t wanna have sex w you for her pleasure b/c during it, everything is about YOUUU

your pleasure >>>>> anything else

soft dom 100% but will also switch sometimes if thats what you’re feeling

especially after games like she loves having sex after cause she knows you’ll do everything for her

FUCKIN LOVES WHEN YOU RIDE HER ITS HER FAVORITE THING EVER

always grabbing your hips really tight when you do and theres always marks afterwards on them

and she likes seeing your face when you’re on top

missionary is her thing

eye contact during sex is important

to her at least

LOVES DIRTY TALKING

degrades you but only when you’re being cocky about something while she fucks the shit outta you

i don’t think she’d be aggressive but she’d be a lil rough when she’s upset

hickeys.

leaves marks EVERYWHEREEE

in the most visible spots so that people can see them when you two are in public

only happens during makeout seshes or when you guys are havin your own time tho

she so talks you through it.

always reassuring and asking if you feel good or not

“is this okay?” “does that hurt?” “it’s okay, baby. i’m right here, i promise” “take your time” lil things like that

praises you hella too

call me cringe or whatever

but she’ll call you a good girl if she has to…

when she eats you out she’s SOOO FOCUSED

quiet the wholeeee time but you can feel her getting all breathy against you

kisses your thighs after you cum so you know she’s still there 😞❤️

aftercare queen

she’s already cleaning you up and getting you a new pair of clothes or running a warm bath for the both of you 🥸

#kate martin #kate martin x reader #wcbb x you #wcbb x reader #wbb x you #wbb x reader #my works

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bltngames · 2 days

Text

A Better Late Than Never Look at "Knuckles"

Note: I get pretty casual with spoilers as I go.

So after consuming 5 out of 6 episodes of the Knuckles show when it was new, and then waiting two weeks (I was busy with other things!) to watch the finale, I think I'm finally in a place where I can talk about how I felt about it.

From the earliest adopters, I'd heard that this show was trash. Some went so far as to call it one of the worst things in the Sonic franchise, period.

It's not the worst thing in the Sonic franchise. I don't even necessarily think it's bad. But I would also struggle to call it good. It's... a little more nuanced than that.

The story brings us back to Knuckles the Echidna in the weeks following the end of the second Sonic the Hedgehog movie. Having helped in the defeat of Doctor Robotnik, Knuckles finds himself restless. He's a big mish-mash of different barbarian, viking, and warrior stereotypes, and he can no longer quench his thirst for combat, something that's starting to drive his friends crazy.

Knuckles convenes with the spirits of his ancestors (Pachacamac, played by Christopher Lloyd) and learns he must take on an understudy and train them in the ways of the warrior, much like his father did with him. However, we also learn that Knuckles is now the last of his kind (something the movies never elaborated on, I don't think) and thus his understudy has to be someone from outside his species.

Pachacamac tells Knuckles to seek out Wade Whipple, the dopey deputy of Green Hills, Montana, and educate him in the ways of the ancient Echidna warriors. Wade recently lost a bowling tournament to a particularly snarky 8 year old girl scout, and so Knuckles and Wade go on a road trip to the National Bowling Stadium in Reno, Nevada so that Wade can reclaim his title, conquer his battleground, and become a true warrior.

Right away, there's a lot wrong with the Knuckles series, and most of it happens in the first three episodes.

Though we should be used to it by now, how fast and loose the movies play with Sonic game lore is pretty annoying. In the years since that second Sonic movie, we've seen the release of the Super Mario Bros. movie, and while that's not exactly a perfect movie in itself, it is maybe one of the most faithful and respectful game adaptations ever released.

The Knuckles series building a twisted Frankenstein of Sonic game lore now feels increasingly frustrating by comparison, especially as it rewrites the movie's own history in order to borrow from the more story-heavy games. The first Sonic movie shows us a whole tribe of Echidna warriors trying to capture a young toddler Sonic for unknown reasons. Though it's been almost two years since the last time I saw it, when Knuckles is introduced in the second movie, I don't think it's ever mentioned he's the last of his kind. We just know he's looking for Sonic for the same nebulous reasons the rest of his tribe were hunting him down in the first movie. The "Last Echidna" stuff comes from the games, and now it eventually gets mentioned in this series.

As a sidebar: I'm aware there's an off-hand piece of dialog in the Sonic 2 Movie Prequel comic that mentions Knuckles is the last Echidna, but that's a flimsy promo comic and none of it feels canon to me. That comic also has a cameo by the Chaotix and features way more Sonic environments than the movies ever will, making it feel disconnected to the actual movies.

Like it's fun, don't get me wrong, but it's also like when the Spider-man games based on the Sam Raimi movies would bring in characters from the comics, like Shocker or Mysterio. You KNEW if the movies ever dealt with those characters for real, they'd be completely different from what was in the games. The promo comic casually mentioning Knuckles is the last Echidna may as well have been nothing more than fluff for all anyone knew.

In fact, it gets mentioned in the Knuckles series that The Owl Tribe -- the same creatures who we saw protecting Sonic in the first movie -- have apparently exterminated the entire Echidna race. It's only been, what, seven years? Eight years? So what's going on there? Who are the good guys? Who are the bad guys? The Echidnas apparently wanted to kill Sonic, and the Owls were willing to commit genocide to protect him, and this all seems like some pretty heavy stuff for a series that still refuses to define what this "power" everybody has actually is.

It feels extra obnoxious considering the proximity to the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog 3 movie, which is openly an adaptation of Sonic Adventure 2. There's more than a little Echidna lore that needs to be set up in order for parts of that game to make sense (if it ever did), and it's obvious they have little interest in carrying that forward in the movies, content instead to make up their own lore. And what we've seen of that so far doesn't necessarily seem to be better, it just seems to be different. Like they dug themselves into a hole and now have to dig back out in a different direction -- more damage control to cover for that first movie twisting up the source material.

Ultimately it ties back around to the fact that I don't think this is what Sonic fans were hoping for. There were a lot of directions to take a Knuckles solo project, and they made it into a road trip buddy comedy between two of the weakest characters. Movie Knuckles is a one-note Klingon stereotype and it feels like Idris Elba is sleepwalking through a lot of this chest thumping "heart of the warrior" stuff.

And Adam Pally as Wade Whipple was okay in small doses, but he wasn't exactly breaking new ground as the bumbling small town deputy. Putting these two guys in a box together is kind of a bad idea.

And for the first three episodes, it is. Wade and Knuckles have absolutely zero chemistry together. Most shows would have a little hint that these two guys like each other, but it's more that Knuckles wants to train Wade for selfish reasons (satisfying his ancestors) and Wade is kind of a dumb puppy who does what everyone else tells him to, sight unseen.

We also get new B-tier villains for our B-tier show, who swagger in like they missed the audition for their gig on Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (no shade meant towards my sentai fans in the audience). They're GUN Agents, either current or former, and have apparently been selling weapons tech to a genuinely dangerous killer only known as "The Buyer."

Actually, another small sidebar: it was kind of strange to see Knuckles rated "PG" (for some mild swearing), but Paramount+ constantly inundate me with advertisements for Dora the Explorer, Minecraft, and The Loud House. This is actually my first, real, honest exposure to The Loud House, both in its cartoon and live action form. It feels like a show made for the whitest children on earth and if I have to see that little girl with the shrimp bowl fart again I'm going to throw my TV into the street.

Anyway, Knuckles: for the most part, the villains only really exist to remind us that this ties to the Sonic the Hedgehog movie universe while also providing goons for our heroes to fight.

If I'm being real, I was actually a little confused by the presence of the GUN Agents. The Knuckles show is kind of bad at establishing whether they still work for GUN or not. We do get a scene where they go rogue, but it's never clear if they're just overachievers who get results, or if they are actual card-carrying bad guys who are breaking off for a solo career. I just figured they were here as a flimsy setup for the third Sonic movie.

Mostly, though, it's a lot of fluff. Knuckles or Wade gets into trouble, and they accidentally stumble out of one bad situation into another, over and over, for a good 90 minutes. Very few jokes land, it doesn't feel very funny, it's a confusing mixture of new lore and stuff borrowed from the games, and it feels like the show is a mess that's constantly spinning its wheels.

Wade, now branded as a fugitive for being seen fighting GUN Agents (again: current or former?), accidentally and conveniently finds himself at his mother's doorstep seeking asylum. On the jewish holiday of Shabbat. Now, I'm not jewish, but it seems like Shabbat can happen on literally any Friday, yet the Knuckles series treats it like an annual holiday like Christmas or Halloween. Regardless, it seems like Wade happens to catch his mother on a Shabbat where she's already preparing a big meal, since Wade's older sister, an FBI agent, also happens to be in town. Which is also weirdly convenient. Wade, feeling like he can't disappoint his mom, sits down and they have a meal together, only to be assaulted by bounty hunters looking to claim the price on Wade's head.

This episode starts a kind of turning point for the Knuckles series. Over an hour into this three hour ordeal, and it finally provides some threads of character development for Wade Whipple. We learn his estranged father is a legendary bowling champion, who will also just so happen to be at the big bowling tournament Knuckles is ushering him towards. Knuckles has a cozy moment with Wade's mother, and we learn more about how much she hates Wade's father for breaking up their family.

The fourth episode finds Wade facing down yet another bounty hunter. Earlier I mentioned Wade lost a bowling tournament to an 8 year old girl -- specifically, he lost a placement match for a bowling team known as The Renegades. The captain of The Renegades is a man known as Jack Sinclair, and when he rejects Wade's entry into the team, he casually mentions a bounty hunter gig he runs on the side. Now, Jack's back to claim the $100k bounty, and Knuckles has decided that it's time for Wade to solve this problem on his own.

Ultimately, this means Wade is forced to convene with Knuckles' ancient ancestors for himself, leading to, of all things, a rock opera in a spectral bowling alley where we learn more of Knuckles' origin. If the Shabbat dinner episode finally budged the needle a little bit, this rock opera episode is the kick in the pants this series should have opened with.

We get Wade in a Knuckles costume, a puppet of Knuckles' dying father that's definitely a reference to Archie's controversial Sonic writer Ken Penders, dancers in owl costumes, and a genuinely impressive prop of a "Fire Demon" (Iblis from Sonic 2006) operated by an entire squad of bodysuit actors. It's a lot of fun and I even found myself starting to laugh at the jokes! It only took, what, two hours?

As the rock opera explains, after Knuckles watched all of his friends and family get slaughtered by the owl tribe, Knuckles wandered the galaxy, hopeless. Knowing he was the only one who could protect the master emerald, he challenged this fire demon to claim the power of The Flames of Disaster. The demon nearly killed Knuckles, but by keeping the warrior's spirit in his heart, he summoned the strength to defeat Iblis once and for all and claim The Flames of Disaster as his own. Thus, Wade learns that a warrior's true strength comes from within, giving him the push needed to have a final showdown with Jack Sinclair.

And then something else weird happens: the final two episodes of the show turn into something completely different.

In my opinion, the more the Knuckles show gets away from Knuckles himself, the better it gets. Even though I thought the rock opera origin story was great, the less we have to worry about their jumbled up lore, the better. And these last two episodes of Knuckles get about as far away from the Echidna as they can get, turning into a late 2000's sports comedy in the vein of something like "Balls of Fury", "Hot Rod" or "Blades of Glory." Except here, the stand-in sport of choice is bowling.

It's actually pretty funny how much the previous four episodes just stop mattering entirely. Like, the bounty on Wade vanishes. Being a wanted criminal (former or current) has no bearing on his ability to attend the bowling tournament despite apparently being national news not even 48 hours earlier. It's never mentioned or brought up again.

Knuckles almost exits the show entirely. He spends most of the final two episodes relaxing in a hotel room, leaving Wade to carry almost literally everything else by himself. We get introduced to Cary Elwes as Wade's father Pistol Pete, who summons the same level of ham and cheese we last got from him in Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

And... It works. It's not the greatest thing on earth, but compared to where this show started, once the bowling tournament kicks off, it's literally the best part of the whole series. The jokes get even funnier. We get all these different themed bowling teams, everybody in special costumes, with dumb names like "Ball Busters" and "Split for Brains." The editing gets really energetic and creative, too, with lots of flashy split screen cuts set to music.

It feels like somebody had been sitting on a decade-old bowling comedy script and dusted it off for these last two episodes. It stops being the Knuckles show and starts being the Wade Whipple show, and is surprisingly better for it.

But then, that's not entirely true. It's still the Knuckles show, and almost begrudgingly, they have to make up a reason for Knuckles to have a big fight at the end. It's almost funny how blatant it is -- there's so much focus on Wade's showdown with his Dad that when they cut back to Knuckles it feels kind of forced. Like they realized Wade is getting all of the pathos and character development but they still needed to show Knuckles doing something, anything, so here's a big robot that needs punching.

It's not terrible, and Wade eventually joins him, tying into his overall journey of believing in himself and becoming "a warrior", but it does feel kind of tacked on regardless. There's this general vibe of the show getting lost in the bowling tournament and then going "Oh, right. That guy."

Listen, I'm not here to evangelize this show. It's kind of an inconsistent mess. It's jammed full of obnoxious needle drop musical interludes, there's tons of REALLY blatant product placement, and just like with the previous two Sonic movies, whenever it makes direct references to game lore, it feels more pandering (and increasingly sloppy) than anything else. It takes its sweet time expanding on both its title character and his poorly chosen side kick. A lot of it made me cringe more than laugh.

But it does eventually hit a stride and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the back half of it. You can really see the show start to find its footing once you hit that Shabbat episode, and by the end of the rock opera, Knuckles had finally won me over... by getting further and further away from Knuckles himself.

And... that's not really a great endorsement, now is it.

#writing #paramount+#knuckles series #knuckles show #knuckles the echidna #review #thoughts #idris elba #sonic the hedgehog #sega #sonic team

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internetscenarios · 2 days

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Can we get some more of Nick, Yumi or Isaac x cc! Partner? Loved the last one and I keep re-reading lol

yes ong

yumi ꕥ

- ur biggest supporter

- always in ur chat 🫶

- sending donations being like “Shuatt uppp”

- stuff like that blah blah

- roblox with him

- new larry stream with the group on roblox was so funny

- they played this game where u had to survive till the end, so if it was u and him in the end u would both team up or he would sacrifice himself for u:3

- if hes in ur chat everyone will be like “YUMII”

- if he ever appears in the background he has to join in and have screentime it is essential

- yk how they had the marriage mod on the minecraft server

- u are both married (same with the other two 💓💓)

- i said this in the other one but csgo with him

- would teach you how to play itt

- if u were doing chill streams he would force himself to do chill streams if u were there

- defo has little things that remind u of him near his setup

isaac ꕥ

- married too him on minecraft <3

- feel like he would build a little chappel for u

- if hes streaming n ur sleeping he defo tries to keep it down

- randomly shows u clips from stuff he likes during streams

- talks very gentle to u if ur streaming

- in his videos all the time

- discord prank calls,, he would get someone other than him to prank call u and pretend its something to do with him

- if ur relationship was public obvi

- yk how he would post discord msgs with him and the tgc on twt,, he would do silly stuff like that w u

smthn like

“ru streaming?”

“55 BURGERS 55 FRIES 55 TACOS 55 PIES 55 COKES 100 TATER TOTS”

that video makes me giggle sm to this day i had to add it mb

- in his instagram posts theres always a silly picture, u would be that silly picture

- i saw on a yumi stream he peaked in the door asking if they wanted any food

- so he would always peak in (obviously out of frame) and ask if u wanted food or anything on ur stream

- ok last stream of his was almost a year ago so he would defo just pop up in ur streams all the time so he still has that twitch streamer era yknow?

nick ꕥ

sigh softwilly my love

- just chatting streams w him would be so silly

- bento appearances!!!

- no srsly u would be so focused on a game and bento would just take over the moment

- if hes at bento house on podcast and u walk past everyone on the podcast is like “haiii!!”

- or if u make too much noise in the background u get the occasional “be quiet” (they mean well i promise)

- u would defo be a star on the podcast if u went on it

idk why im mentioning this for nick i apologise

- always posting pictures of you and bento on his instagram story

- itll be u holding bento and also a pokemon card ur holding 😭

- ur either in his chat or hes in urs

- VLOGSS

- taking u and only u random places

- sure there will be videos with u and the group but there will be LOADS of u

im sorry thats its short ive been busy i will try my best to get some requests done but pls take this while i get stuff done😢

#the group chat #the group x reader #tgc x reader #isaacwhy #isaacwhy x reader #yumi #yumi x reader #softwilly x reader

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moodymisty · 3 days

Note

In the Perturabo book it’s mentioned how both him and Calliphone really wanted to act like a normal brother and sister and not have to deal with the expectations of olympia’s upper class, where betraying your family and stabbing them in the back was normalised (and even expected!). So I think that scenario has some really good potential for a tragic-siblings (platonic)x reader story.

Imagine you’ve been promoted to being Perturabo’s serf, people are worried for you because this is famously the guy who likes to destroy stuff when he’s mad. But you don’t care, it’s one of the highest ranking jobs on the ship that a mortal like you can have and you’re pretty good at not getting in the way. And for a while that’s what you do, your schedule for cleaning his room doesn’t align with the times he’s in it. You do your job, leave, come back the next day and rinse and repeat for a few weeks.

The first time you see him in person he’s in the process of leaving the room. And when he turned around you expected him to look at you with an expression of irritation or annoyance, but what you got instead was… fear? He looked startled, giving you the impression of a space-deer in the headlights. Despite how weird the situation was, the only thing you said to him was your name and how you were his serf, to which he simply nodded and left the room in a hurry.

You met him again the very next day, he orders you to pause your duties and talk with him for a bit. strange, but alright. You sit down and he starts asking you questions about who you are, where you came from, what your other duties are on the ship. The entire time it felt like he was interrogating you about something (though you weren’t sure what it was). The next day he does the same thing, and then the day after that, just talking to you about who you were or things you liked. At which point you decided that this was probably him trying to form a friendship with you in his own (very obvious to you by now) socially awkward fashion, which was further confirmed when you asked him about some invention of his and his eyes practically lit up with excitement (and the way he sat there happily infodumping about it for an hour)

Now for most people being friends with Perturabo sounded like a bad idea. But being someone’s serf meant that it was kind of part of the job description, and not to mention that he was genuinely fun to be around. You liked hearing him talk about the things he made, not to mention that he’d given you some new interests in the process. Your room was swapped from the small servants quarters to a larger room near where he was, and then summarily filled with items that he got/made for you. He let you give him a nickname (you thought calling him “Bo” was pretty funny). He’d even jokingly call you his “sister” sometimes, not that you payed much mind to it. You were a person he could trust and confide in, and you took pride in that.

But as the heresy progressed things started to get… weird. You once asked him, based on some rumours you’ve heard, if he had any media from before the age of strife. To which he said yes, and that he was sorry he didn’t show you them when you first asked (but this was the first time you asked him about it?). He refers you as his sister more and more often, and while at this point you could see that your friendship had some familial qualities to it, you didn’t think that it straight up bordered on it. It felt especially forced when he called his legion your “nephews” (much to the surprise of a nearby space marine). And there of course was that one time when he invited Magnus aboard the ship, who you were very excited to meet. Until he looked at you with the same shock-confusion as Bo did the first time, and then afterwards you heard him and Bo have an argument. The details of which he refused to tell you, saying that you shouldn’t worry about your brothers were mad about, since they were always mad about something.

At the end of the heresy it got worse. Or more accurately: Bo got worse. With the responsibility of the attack on terra placed on him he was more irritable than ever. And also paranoid about your safety more than ever before, which lead to him practically barring you from leaving the ship (and only being allowed to go outside of it with the supervision of his astartes). He even started calling you Calliphone.

… Calliphone? Who the fuck was Calliphone?? Look, you were happy to be his friend, and you were fine with him calling you a sister. But who the hell was this Calliphone?! It certainly wasn’t you, that’s not your name. That was never your name, why did he feel the need to give you a whole new identity? Not to mention that Bo refused to elaborate on it, no matter how hard you pried him for information about it. You knew the name was olympian, but nothing else. And it frustrated you to no end how he was not only keeping you trapped here, but talking to you as if you were a completely different person.

You started researching the name while Bo was off fighting on terra. Turns out that giving you interests in technology would make looking through noosphere articles way more easy, and you found information soon enough. She was listed in many places as the daughter of tyrant Dammekos and… adoptive sister of Perturabo.

… okay. You then scrolled to more later articles about Perturabo’s attack on olympia, where it said that Calliphone died from a neck injury, possibly caused by P-

What?! No that couldn’t… no, there’s no way he could have done that to his sister… right?? Cause he calls you his sister and he would never dream of hurting you, let alone murdering you in cold blood..

You stared away from the screen for a few minutes, giving yourself time to take some slow deep breaths and calm down. Once you felt ready enough you looked further through the news articles, most of which were either broken/nonfunctioning, mentioning her in a sentence or two, or talking about her death. After an hour of searching you finally found a site with a working link to a photo of her around your age. Filled with curiosity, you clicked it to finally look at the person you’ve been compared to over and over again.

And you saw yourself.

BRO-

This is awesome. Like serious I love the progression Pert makes and how reader doesn't see it at first because hey! nicknames are totally normal. calling someone a sibling isn't odd especially if you're friendly, but it getting weird when he starts relating you to other people like his legion. or the primarchs. and how they all see it for how odd it is and how Bo is acting, but you're partly blinded by your friendship with him until the end when you start digging deeper.

the decent into madness as he tries to right his mistake and basically remake Calliphone, awesome.

#(platonic)Perturabo/Fem!Reader #tagging it as this since i know me and kit were joking about other stuff so i want to make sure it's obvious

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