#but makes *me* feel like i accomplished something so there

[genericpuff]

Are there any things you like about LO? Or is it all shit to you. Personally, I think it could be a great storyline with the right execution, but a lot of the stuff and plot is unnecessary (I.e. Hades being thousands of years older than Kore and making characters fall in love with people they are racist/classist towards 😨😨)

Oh there are LOADS of things that I liked and still enjoy about LO despite all the shit I've thrown at it. I love love LOVE a lot of the older art-

Like, damn, that shit is so charming! I swear I had that Tower 4 panel as my phone background for like, 2 years LOL

Rachel had a really strong understanding of shape language, composition, color theory, and expressive linework in a way that was really appealing and unique at the time, but along the way it was just lost, undoubtedly due to her taking more of a backseat in the character art process and leaving it to her assistants.

That said, there's a lot of... not so charming, too.

I think, on the one hand, there's a lot to appreciate in the old art that shouldn't be rejected as we criticize this series. At the end of the day, as much as we riff on it, many of us did love this series at one point in time, so we shouldn't cringe at what it used to make us feel or pretend like we were ever above it when we were very much lost in it for ages before it went down the tubes.

But there is a lot to be said about the effects of rose-colored glasses, and how LO was never perfect. The reality is that much of Rachel's work is exemplified by the odd beautiful thing that sticks in our memories, but when we actually go back to relive those memories, we find they're all strung together by some not so beautiful stuff that makes us go 'wait what???'

Case in point, with LO we remember beautiful compositions like this:

But then within those same episodes we get:

And it's like oh. Yikes.

Aside from the art, there was also the SA plot as well as the Act of Wrath. The SA plot felt really special to me at the time because I was someone who was once in Persephone's shoes, being pressured into sex that I wasn't ready for but wasn't capable of saying no to. I can appreciate what Rachel was trying to do with that plot, but over time it became clear that she wasn't committed to seeing that plotline through and so I kind of just dropped my expectations for it entirely.

That said, it wasn't the SA plotline that set me off. I had good faith in that one still that it would be addressed eventually. It was the Act of Wrath plotline that did me in. The premise of it was totally my cup of tea in the way of "quirky character has a dark evil backstory!" which is shit that I absolutely LOVE, but then when the "twist" happened that Eris was the one to give her wrath, that was literally when I had my almost "canon event" moment of realizing "wait... I don't think Rachel knows what she's doing." And then it was just all downhill from there. The S2 finale sealed my fate LOL

All that said, as much as my brain is often defaulting to "ew! gross! bad!!!" in all honesty I do still appreciate what LO meant to be back when I still enjoyed it. It meant enough to me that I just couldn't let it the fuck go when it started to go downhill, so much so that I started making my own version of it! And that's something that sets it apart so much more from other comics I really don't like anymore (or comics I never liked to begin with) like Down to Earth, The Kiss Bet, Let's Play, etc. where I really can't even be bothered to think about them let alone talk about them to the extent I do about LO. I may be full of beans when it comes to LO, but I'd still rather be talking about it and all its failings and what it used to mean to me than about any of those other works. I loved it enough to still want it in my life and that's what Rekindled has accomplished for me.

[appleblueberry-pie]

Hi, the fandom is on fire and well I am a bit low on morale. May I please request for Yandere Nanami comforting his darling after they have a mental breakdown from realizing there is no escape. This leading to both Nanami and his darling sharing a bed and cuddling

This is so undoubtedly late, but absolutely. I will try to make this as comforting as possible.

You tried so hard to shove it down. You hated gaining Kento's attention by obviously needing help. But you couldn't hide it. Not this. Every time you tried to mentally solve the issue, you kept coming to the conclusion that this can't ever be fixed.

You're never leaving this house. You'd be in here, rotting with your captor until the day that he dies. And who knows how long it'll be until then, or if you will even live until that day comes. You continued to draw that conclusion over and over again, the dread pooling in your stomach every single time, and it was harder to bare the feeling the next time it came.

You couldn't eat. You couldn't sleep. You couldn't do shit, and being unable to find peace just made the cycle restart again. You just wanted peace of mind. You just wanted to be left alone without your thoughts, you wanted to leave this fucking house.

But your captor is almost always in the next room, waiting for you to call out his name.

You couldn't hold in the terrible sob that escaped your lips. Your stomach hurts and your head was beginning to pound. Breathing didn't soothe your hot face or your nerves and no matter how many times you wiped your face, more tears would roll down.

You didn't care when you heard quick foot steps approaching your room and you didn't care when Kento barged in, attaching himself to your side and begging you to tell him what's wrong.

Kento's heart was beating so hard in his chest. You didn't want to speak and just continued to sob until you couldn't breathe. Even when he held you so tight to keep the bad thoughts from infiltrating your mind, you still cried. You felt hot to the touch and he didn't want to leave you alone for a single second to get a cool rag to cool you down. So he just rocks you in his arms on the floor, caressing your head and keeping you as close to him as possible, hoping this will all be over sooner than later.

Why was his baby feeling like this? Is this why you weren't eating? Why you were restless all night? He tried all he could. Made you hot chocolate the way you liked, brought you your favorite blanket that he reserved for winter and even let you watch TV in the living room. But none helped you sleep and none got you to eat. All day, you looked like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode, and here you were scattered in his arms. He should've known something was up with you.

When you quieted down, Kento loosened his hold and looked down at your face. Damp from tears and you just looked so tired. Every bone in his body wished to make every single one of your bad feelings go away, but he didn't even know the first thing he had to accomplish to get that to happen.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You shake your head.

"Want something to eat?" You groan out a soft no. He frowns.

"Want me to bring you to bed?" Your eyes flutter shut and you nod.

He immediately gathers you in his arms and effortlessly brings you to the warm sheets that you've neglected all day and you relax once he tucks you in. He slips in with you, very slowly to see if you'd tell him to leave. You don't. So, he takes his spot in front of your curled form and wraps his arms around what he could. You don't disagree.

It was his turn to relax, and he sighs in relief. You always come first. And he will find out why you got so worked up soon enough. But you come first.

[scoonsaliciousupdates]

10.2 Bucky

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, Bucky invading privacy and getting the wrong idea, then not letting Major get a word in edgewise.

Word Count: 1.4k

Previously On...: You thought the envelope may have come from Rand, but after talking to him, you're pretty sure he didn't send it.

A/N: Sorry for the delay-- was running errands and thought I would be back in time, but then I got held up at a train crossing :P

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

He was about fifteen minutes early to pick up Major, but if he was being honest with himself, he couldn’t wait to see her again. He missed her every second he wasn’t near her, talking to her, holding her, just being in her presence. He was down bad for the girl, that was for sure, and he was going to take every extra minute he could get with her.

Opening the main door, he walked into the lobby and waved to Zadie as she was having a group of teenagers sign a waiver before arranging to have them go to a room. 

“Hey, Sergeant Barnes!” she called out to him. “Major’s back in her office if you wanted to go surprise her. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind the interruption.” Zadie waggled her eyebrows at the implication, and Bucky stifled a laugh as he made his way back toward the door she’d pointed to.

The door to Major’s office was partially closed, and Bucky knocked, the force of it pushing the door open to reveal the empty office. Bucky stepped inside and, seeing her purse on the edge of her desk, assumed she must have stepped out to use the restroom; he was fifteen minutes early in coming to pick her up, after all. She would have thought she had time.

He used the opportunity to take in her space, the sophisticated office furniture colored in deep, earthy tones that gave Bucky a feeling of calm, similar to what he felt in her presence. He admired some framed medals on the wall from her time in the military, as well as some certificates of accomplishment, and he was pleased to see the orchid he’d bought her resting in a place of pride by the window. 

He ran his fingers over the fuchsia petals, smiling to himself before turning toward her desk.

That was when he saw it. The envelope that had Major so worked up earlier in the day, her name and The WarZone’s Midtown address written in blocky, all caps. He took a step toward it, hand outstretched, but then pulled himself back. No, he thought. He wasn’t going to go through her private work documents. It was none of his business, really.

But… she had been so upset earlier. Maybe there was something he could do to help. He could just take a quick peak; that would totally be fine. He tilted the envelope and a stack of documents and photos came pouring out onto Major’s desk. At first, he couldn’t make sense of what he was looking at, as if the input from his eyes wasn’t making its way to his brain. 

Every piece of paper that had come out of the envelope was about… him. He found himself flipping through the pages, barely allowing the contents to register. They were all photos of him, back when he was still the Asset, committing horrendous crimes. Each document was a report of something he’d done, a person he’d killed. As he flipped through them, his stomach fell through the floor, shame heating his face. Why did she have these? How did she get them?

Had she been looking into him? When she had told him, during their first date, that she would wait for him to tell her about his past when he was ready, had that all been a lie? But why? What would she have to gain from it?

He heard footsteps approaching and in seconds, Major was walking through the door of her office.

“Hey, you!” she exclaimed, her face lighting up in happiness when she saw him standing there. “You’re early! I hope you weren’t waiting too long on me. Just wanted to freshen my face before dinner tonight.” She walked around to where he was standing and draped her arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss him, but Bucky stood still, only turning his face from hers.

She pulled away from him, her expression concerned. “Bucky, what’s wrong?” 

Without thought, his eyes darted to where the documents and photos lay spread haphazardly across her desk. He watched her gaze turn to follow his line of sight, and he saw her posture seem to deflate. 

“Oh,” she breathed out. “Oh, Bucky, honey– I really didn’t want you to see those.”

“I’m sure,” he spat, and was rewarded when she pulled back from him in surprise. “Wouldn’t do you any good if I knew you were digging into my past, would it? Much better to keep me in the dark about it, right?”

“Bucky, what–” she began, but he interrupted her:

“Was all that talk about wanting to wait until I was comfortable with telling you about my past just a lie? Were you so goddamn curious, you couldn’t even wait to find all the gory details for yourself? You wanna know how many people I killed that didn’t make it into those files, because I promise you, sugar, there’s a hell of a lot. You want to know about the time Hydra sent me to kill an ambassador, told me to leave no witnesses, and I took out his wife and his two kids, too? ‘Cause they couldn’t have been more than ten years old. That kind of thing get you off, doll?”

She took a further step back from him, a look of disgust and confusion on her face, and Bucky suddenly didn’t want to deal with it. “You know what?” he said, stepping around her and walking to the door, “Fuck this.” He stormed out of her office and as he stomped through the lobby, he could hear Major calling after him, but he was beyond caring at this point. 

He slammed through the front doors of The WarZone and back onto the street. Hopping onto his bike, he threw on his helmet and kicked it into gear, speeding away from Major and his past as fast as he could.

* 

He reached upstate in record time; he was fortunate he hadn’t gotten pulled over for speeding. He certainly wouldn’t have taken that very well. He stopped at an intersection– one direction would take him back to the Compound, but the other would lead him into town. He considered his options for a split second before making his decision.

A few minutes later, he was pulling up to the front of a modest, but charming farmhouse. His safe haven for when life at the Compound got to be too much for him to handle, and he needed some peace and quiet to just decompress and be himself. He definitely needed that right now.

Bucky walked up the front path and onto the well-tended porch before giving the front door a series of strong knocks. Stepping back, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacked and waited, his eyes resting on the porch swing he had helped build two summers ago. He should probably check the chain to make sure it didn’t need to be oiled.

The door opened and there was Lily, a balm to his ragged psyche. 

“Jamie,” she breathed, obviously surprised to see him. “What are you doing here? I thought you had dinner plans with Nat’s friend.”

Bucky grunted and poked the toe of his boot at a floor board that stuck out a little higher than its neighbor. “Don’t really want to talk about her right now, Lil,” he said. “Can I come in?”

Lily’s eyes widened as she stepped aside, making room for him to enter. “Yeah, of course. Um, I was just thinking of ordering some takeout. Are you hungry? I could get some pizzas.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said as he followed Lily into her kitchen, “that sounds good.” He took off his jacket and draped it over the back of one of her kitchen chairs. “Let me pay this time, though, okay? Since you’ll have to order an entire second pizza just for me.”

Lily smiled at him softly as she picked up her phone and navigated to the delivery app. “Obviously,” she told him with a hint of teasing in her voice. “Ham and pineapple on one, pepperoni on the other?” 

Bucky sat down and stretched his arms over his head. “It’s like you read my mind.”

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[versethetic]

feelings don't dictate. belief does.

putting this up here for my own archive. but i am once again reiterating that it does not matter how you feel.

you can feel confident as fuck and still believe you're gonna fail a test.

you can feel like dogshit about going on stage and delivering a speech and still believe you're gonna fucking kill it.

i can feel like i need to do more to get my perfect life. i can feel like i'm not being consistent enough. i can feel like there's something i'm not doing right.

but i will still, always choose to believe that it is done. i will always choose to believe that i've already got it. i will always choose to believe that no matter how i feel, i am living my dream life.

that is it. feel how you need to feel.

be sad; you feel like you "don't see it."

be upset; it feels like its "taking forever."

be mad; you feel you aren't "doing enough."

then when you've processed what you feel. get right back to what you believe.

be happy; you believe that it's already accomplished in the 4d and is yours.

be overjoyed; you believe that you are a master manifestor who gets shit instantly.

be ecstatic; you believe everything you do is perfect. you can do no wrong. manifesting is the easiest thing in the world to you.

rant:

i get upset with myself sometimes. its been infinitely better now than even a few months ago, but i often felt like if i don't remember to persist or affirm or wtvr then im losing sight of my end goal, my manifestation.

i feel down when i wake up and "don't see my perfect life" and it sucks. i have bad days; so do many other folks on this app. but when i read and see from other blogs that feelings aren't the end all be all of my manifestation journey. it makes me so fucking happy.

so i may feel these things from time to time. but now, i can always choose to just not believe it. i can choose to believe that i've always been living my dream life. i can choose to believe that i don't need to remember to affirm and visualize everyday because i'm already perfect. i believe that no matter how much i feel like i need to do smth, it only matters that its already been decided.

[leveloneandup]

Christen Press’ long journey back from injury: ‘The last six months have been the best of my life’

On Tuesday, Christen Press returned to team training with Angel City FC, exactly two years to the day from when she tore her ACL in a 2022 match against Racing Louisville. While her involvement in training is still limited, with her only taking part in the warm-ups and a passing drill to start, it’s one of the many milestones Press can celebrate on the arduous journey she’s undertaken for a full return to the sport.

As she noted in a call with The Athletic, most of those milestones have been reached in private. At first, she wanted this moment to be private too — well, as private as it could be with a full team and staff around, but in a closed practice where she could evaluate how she felt. With further thought, she changed her mind: this milestone was one that could be celebrated, and with so much uncertainty still left about what milestones remain, she might as well embrace this one.

“If this is something we can all celebrate, let’s just go for it, because this journey has been really, really long,” Press said on Monday, a little more than 24 hours out from the return to training. “When you don’t play, you do have a different relationship with the fanbase, and it’s nice to see this as the re-entry point. People are going to get videos of me in team training, and I’m just going to be around.”

Back in February, Press referenced her “relentless optimism” that has helped her on this wildly unpredictable recovery process, which required four surgeries and resulted in her missing out entirely for competing for a 2023 World Cup roster spot. Her fourth surgery was timed right around when the USWNT was heading to New Zealand, which released her from being tied to a recovery timeline and feeling the pressure to return.

“When I found out I had to have the fourth surgery, I was like, well, I’m not going to the World Cup because I’ll be in surgery during the World Cup,” she said in February. “So that was the moment I actually exhaled. I had to grieve that.”

The release from external timelines has extended to another tournament, the Olympics, which Press said on Monday she’s never really focused on in terms of a potential return. Despite the standard recovery timelines lining up from her fourth and final ACL surgery, last summer’s World Cup experience wasn’t something she wanted to repeat.

“There’s no way your mind can’t start doing the math, right?” Press said this week, saying she’d catch herself counting down the weeks to this summer’s tournament. She doesn’t want to turn off the part of herself still dreaming and striving for a roster spot or any accomplishment on the field, but it’s all a balance.

There’s also a delicate emotional balance in other ways through the recovery process. She’s been in with the team at their training facility, watching the rest of the players train; she’s been at games supporting Angel City, too. Injuries can be isolating, but there’s a weight to being around the team, unable to participate.

“Some of the hardest days of my week are game days when I watch my team play, and there’s a lot of nuance to that. I do feel part of the team. I’m very loyal and dedicated to my teammates and to the club, but it’s actually really hard and painful to watch,” she said.

Having her own space at her physical therapy clinic provided a healing environment. One that lives outside the specific pressures and stresses of the week-to-week grind of the NWSL season, one where the coaches turn from a Friday night result to the new outlook of Monday morning.

“It was a huge blessing to be able to be outside of that, and then the re-entry has been just so great because I have been in a bubble. I’ve been saying, I’ve been bubble-wrapped for so long and now to get in and experience the shift in moods, the shift in energy that comes with preparing for a game and dealing with the results is really important,” she said, now having been more integrated with the team over the past three months.

She’s adjusted now, but shifting from the PT clinic, where she saw the same three people every day, to the full Angel City experience was a bit of a shock.

“It was so social,” she said, laughing a little, recalling just how many people were suddenly talking to her on a daily basis. “Oh my god, I am so introverted. I can’t be around 23 people that are asking me about my life. This is wild! I kept being like, I want to wear a shirt that says, ‘Please don’t ask me about my knee today.’”

With the integration underway and the public milestone achieved, Press has also been busy with the return of The RE-CAP Show, which she hosts with Tobin Heath. Now into their third season, they’ve already recorded with guests like former USWNT player Abby Wambach and Glennon Doyle (who both are in the Angel City investment group, too).

Press and Heath were among the first players to balance active careers with stepping into the media realm, a path shared by the likes of Sam Mewis, Becky Sauerbrunn, Lynn Williams, Midge Purce and others. But still the far more common path is for a player to retire, then start talking about soccer for a living. Press and Heath embrace the tension and perspective this provides.

“Neither Tobin nor I are retired, and neither Tobin nor I have put that chapter behind us,” she said. “We always say it’s a very unique insider/outsider perspective with the USWNT.” As she noted on Monday’s call, you can’t get cut from the national team — a player can always get left off a roster, but they’re also always in contention for the next one. “With the national team, we’re both like, ‘You never know.’ If we can play, we’re going for it right?”

Press noted that discussing the NWSL felt different to her on the show — she’s actively contracted to a team, after all. But either way, her and Heath approach the show with an “active eye” rather than two players who are looking back. But they’ve also focused on building a community along with their foray into the media space. Press has been providing videos with an intimate look into her recovery process for paying members of RE-INC, something that she didn’t think she’d want to create in a more public forum.

“We’ve been able to stay inside the women’s soccer community, having a relationship with our community and our fan base through it all,” Press said.

“We’re simply having the same conversation that we have on our living room couch. I carry a weight of being thoughtful and careful and intentional all the time, inside my own home, so it’s easy for me to translate that. So when we have our banter back and forth, we can stand in a place where we’re challenging each other, and that makes the show more of a provocation than an answer,” she continued. “It’s a question. It’s not an answer.”

Press’ reputation is built in many ways around that thoughtfulness, but it’s not an act either. And sometimes, the way she approaches the world in her “cerebral” fashion means that she wants things to make sense, like her ACL injury and all four surgeries. “I want this fairy tale story where I come back, I’m delightful — that’s actually what I want. ‘I went through all of this, and now you all find me delightful.’”

Press is also all too aware of another reputation, one earned because she’s not afraid to ask for what she wants. She’s fought for everything she wanted. She knows her value.

“Before, you called me a diva, and now I’m delightful. It’s not going to be like that; that’s not what life is. But I will say, the last year of my life — maybe even shorter, the last six months — have been the best of my life because of the space that my ACL created for me to heal as a human. I’m still on that journey, and I intend to stay on that journey.”

Press said this time has allowed her to process and work through all the things she wanted to work through when she actively took a break from the national team, following the previous Olympics. That was the last time she put on a USWNT jersey, after all, and it was and still is a big part of her identity. There have been chapters of her life since then though, and through the recovery process she has asked herself time and time again not when she wants to come back, but how.

She acknowledged there will be fear and pressure with this milestone and the ones yet to come, but the simple goal is for her to be delightful as a human being, for others to be around. Someone that can mentor or be good on the field, laugh at themselves and tease a little too. That doesn’t feel like too much to ask.

“Getting that role in the team where I can be happy and joyful and chasing excellence, really appreciating what I’m doing and what I’m able to do.” That’s what’s important, after a stretch when she did not enjoy the sport itself. “Because if I go back, and I go back and feel the same way that I did about soccer and winning and scoring, then that will feel like a bigger failure than not making it back at all.”

“The competitor in me and the perfectionist in me and the Capricorn in me and the Enneagram three in me just wants to be this delightful, great soccer player that has so much fun and scores all these goals and can totally deal with stress and is always laughing,” she said.

That’s the dream part. The real answer is simple.

“With delight.”

[cozymochi]

Character question! TWST is an isekai, right? What was Tia doing before she got zapped into the setting?

If TWST is not an isekai and I'm mistaken, just ignore me 😂

TWST IS AN ISEKAI SO YOU’RE RIGHT, DW. It’s pretty much baked in that the viewer makes up who the MC is (not everyone does, but, I do) 🩷 Sry it took a minute (WEEKS) to answer. I was drawing things. Sometimes I don’t think I articulate with words well enough to explain myself nor to retain attention. I did not proofread and the text got wonky so excuse that.

Now what was Tia doing before being forced into the setting 🪷

Prior to being whisked into Twisted Wonderland, Tia was a normal person from New Orleans, yay! She lived with her grandmama (but she doesn’t like being called that, she ain’t OLD m’kay?) and older brother (Not appearing in the following images.)

There’s a bit more background but I’ll stick with the most recent and basic stuff.

At the end of her school year, Tia got accepted into some kind of once in a lifetime apprenticeship program, where she and 4 other selected people, will shadow a world-famous chef in New York City. During the summer, she’s been cooking, reading, and doing part-time jobs nonstop in excess-preparation.

She was intending on transferring to a new school and live with her great aunt in NYC (grandmama’s sister), graduate, then get started in her career climbing up the ladder and eventually be able accomplish a long term dream of hers— opening her own restaurant.

Though, obviously, Tia has issues with being so laser focused on her goal she tends to neglect everything else in life. Like, y’know. Having friends, having fun, literally doing ANYTHING outside of working. Let alone sort out her own feelings or heck, even consider if this is truly something she wants to do. She’s pretty much convinced herself into it, and for the past year in particular she’s been more engrossed than ever.

Either way, things were going swimmingly by her standards. Tia was just SO CLOSE to getting a foot in the door and everything was about to go right for her— Almost there, even. Two weeks until she flies to NYC to start her new life and really get her dreams started!!

Well.

Till the black carraige showed up. Shit.

[EVENT NOT DEPICTED]

[h50europe]

9-1-1 Buck/Tommy - Love me as I'm a morning with no alarm...

While Tommy is still fast asleep, Buck begins stowing away the remaining moving boxes in the attic, which Tommy had kindly offered him for storage space. As Buck rummages through the attic, he comes across a collage featuring Tommy's photos and is immediately smitten. He carefully brings it downstairs and settles on the sectional, gazing at it dreamily for several minutes.

Until his attention is drawn to the coffee table, where Jee's neatly arranged pens and some of her drawings are laid out. Among her drawings is one that depicts the three of them, with Buck on her right and Tommy on her left. Tommy's handwriting adorns the drawing, with the words "Me and my uncles" encircled by a pink heart.

Feeling inspired, Buck takes one of Jee's pink pens and, with his tongue sticking out from the corner of his mouth, adds his drawings and writings to the pictures. After he finishes, he looks at the result with a proud grin. Just as he's about to bask in his accomplishment, he's startled by Tommy's voice from behind, "That needs to be framed and put on the wall in my office at the station."

Buck blushes and responds, "So you consider this a masterpiece? But don't you think it might be a bit too much? I mean, what would your colleagues say?"

Tommy leans in from behind, planting gentle kisses on Buck's birthmark, temple, and cheek before taking a closer look at Jee's drawing. "Little Jee has such talent and is truly the best niece one could have," Tommy remarks proudly.

Buck's gaze shifts to the sheet in his hand and his smile wavers. "I suppose so," he says, his voice tinged with disappointment. He had hoped for a different reaction.

Just as he's about to resign to his thoughts, Tommy surprises him by plopping down on the sectional next to him, showing a genuine interest in the pictures and Buck's 'additions.'

"I find it adorable that you put a crown on my head, think I'm cool, and appear to have a total crush on me," Tommy says with a grin as he shows Buck what he's done.

"But I have something for you as well," Tommy says, smirking as he hands Buck a sheet with a photograph, doodles, and printed text. Buck reads the lines. Then, looks at Tommy and says, "You planned that all along? But how did you know…?"

"Evan Buckley you are an open book to me and I knew it was only a matter of time…"

"Tommy Kinard?"

"What?"

"Shut up and let me love you as you're a morning with no alarm."

Tommy doesn't even have the time to reply as Buck takes the lead and presses him down with his weight. They started making out like crazy until they lose their balance and drop to the floor, laughing, now with Tommy on top.

But not for long, as Buck flips him back on his back. They stare into each other's eyes, let their souls talk and start a dance to a song only they can hear…

[pinehutch]

Okay so my Thing about Dragon Age is this:

Ten years ago, I was in constant extreme pain as I worked my way towards a rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis. I had spent the previous year working 12-18 hour days most days, between an unsustainable volunteer job and my daytime career. Sometime that fall, I started noticing that my hands were locking into fists while I slept, and that the fatigue was never getting better, and that walking was really hard, more days than not.

I tried to work through it, that first awful year. I mostly did, too. I had weeks when I couldn't walk unassisted, and months where I was sick all the time because we were trying different meds. I called the rheumatologist in tears more than once, feeling hopeless and like a failure because I couldn't tolerate some of the easier drugs. And in between it all, I worked.

On the days that I couldn't work, and if my hands would let me, I played Dragon Age.

I'm stubborn, and I don't usually watch or read or play things that other people recommend until the time feels right. Spring 2014, I needed something that would be immersive enough that it could distract me from my body but that wouldn't require too much complex problem solving. I needed gaming, and some very trusted people had recommended Dragon Age to me before, so I started Origins in March and by July I had played through Origins and DA2 and all the DLC I could get. Inquisition came out that fall, and I was hooked.

(It also was one of the first ways that I learned to distinguish between healthy pain and warning sign pain: I learned to put the controller down before my hands would be so irritated I couldn't use them at all the next day.)

So there I was, having the worst year of my life (at that point), and I got to fill up my brain with lore and distractions and become a hobbyist expert in the historiography and folklore and religion and politics of something that was entirely made up. I could invest, mentally and emotionally, but I didn't have to fix anything real, including my own unfixable problem. I just had to learn, and to play.

Dragon Age brought me into video games for grown-ups, and it brought me back to fiction writing. The first short story I had written since high school was DA fic. I came back to writing poetry, the love of my life, a couple of years later.

My life doesn't look that different from the outside vs what it was 10 years ago. I'm working out whether or not I'm okay with that; making big changes in your life is hard when you're chronically ill and have adhd and you work a complicated job with a lot of responsibility, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. I had expected that my general weariness would stretch over into a kind of Dragon Apathy - that there would be news and I'd say 'oh, nice,' and then go back to work and the other little agonies.

Instead, I'm delighted? Surprised? Fond? Something I loved and that I needed during a really difficult time is here, again, while I'm anticipating another sea change. The thing that brought me some happiness, some wonder, and some escape can do it still, maybe.

Anyway. I collect my favourite DA stuff at @free-smarcher. I always roll a rogue on my first playthrough. (In real life I'm a giant brain on a giant, clumsy body; my fantasy is being able to go undetected.) I love Varric Tethras because he's a highly-accomplished fuckup with too many responsibilities and because he's bad at his personal life.

When Veilguard comes out I will almost certainly, at least once, play it until my hands seize.

[ot3]

Hi, I started playing Ace Attorney because of you (which thanks, I have been having a blast!), and I just finished Rise of the Ashes. I was wondering if you had any thoughts/head cannons on anything relating to that episode, especially the Skye sisters!

Any AA headcanons you been sitting on? Doesn't have to be anything new, just something you think you might be able to toss out a couple paragraphs for

oh man rise from the ashes.... extremely extremely fucking good case im glad you enjoyed it!

a headcanon i have is that ema was in the car accident that killed her parents... we don't have an exact number on how old she was when their parents died, but she and lana are ~13 years apart. it seems like lana took custody of ema immediately after their parent's death so assuming lana was bare minimum 18 when their parents died, this meant ema was at her youngest 5. i like to think she was slightly older - maybe 7 or so. anyway i imagine her parents were taking her to or from somewhere. i don't have any particularly strong reasoning for this headcanon it just feels right to me. i don't think ema feels like it was her fault in any way but i think she does have survivor's guilt and more important than that being Right There when she died gives her a sense of how easy it is for people to die moreso than it would have if they had just not come home one day

anyway after rfta ema gets sent to live with one of lana's friends who is a coroner in europe - i like to think that this was actually one of lana's exes but ema doesn't know that. i think part of lana's reason for sending ema abroad was to try and keep her away from the shitstorm going on in the LA justice system... she knows ema wants to be in forensics but i think after everything lana went through ema ending up in the stew like she did is kind of her nightmare. for obvious reasons. so i think after lana gets out of prison and ema is A Detective and also Miserable this is really really hard on lana. like she fundamentally feels like she failed ema and is heartbroken this is how stuff has ended up for her baby sister

but then its like this is also kind of a nightmare for ema, who just wanted lana to be proud of her when she can't be proud of herself, and so she kind of ends up mistaking lana's feelings of failure for judgement of how ema's life turned out. like despite ema knowing how much of lana's career accomplishments were because of gant's influence i think she still can't help but compare herself to the image she has in her head of lana as this cool hypercompetent professional, star detective And star prosecutor all before the age of 30. nevermind that she burned out hot and fast after that getting involved in multiple felonies! lana spent so long working herself to the bone to try and protect ema from the world and all she did was make sure that her young, impressionable sister grew up idolizing the kind of relationship to your career that ruins your life

its good stuff. theyre really messy.

[prettieinpink]

advice on how to feel proud of yourself? I’m a student and I whenever I achieve something I don’t feel proud of myself, I’m just glad that it’s over. I wish I was someone who could be genuinely proud of themselves and consider their own validation enough. I also dont like how When someone else praises me i instantly feel good but I can’t get that same effect from myself :( pls help and thank you!!

First of all, if you feel that you’re glad that it's over instead of proud, it’s possible that you don’t entirely love what you are doing at the moment. I won’t elaborate on this further because you may just lack self-compassion, but I ask that you consider that factor. 

Secondly, my apologies for replying so late. I hope this post finds you well✨🎀

REFLECTION INSTEAD OF DWELLING. If you feel this way, instead of dwelling on the fact that you feel that your accomplishments aren’t giving you self-satisfaction, focus on what validates your soul and gives you that self-satisfaction. 

As you are a student, achieving high marks or awards is very good, which explains why you want to be proud of yourself. However, any external validation is temporary and is not sustainable. 

Take some time to reflect and see what does validate yourself. Your sense of self-worth and validation doesn’t have to come from your school accomplishments, regardless of how  You don’t have to be extremely proud of yourself to celebrate yourself. You did the work so that you can reward yourself. 

high they are.

CHANGE YOUR WORDS. If you do feel like you’re glad it's over, instead of repeating that to yourself, reframe it so it's more affirmative to yourself because it’s okay to feel that you’re happy that it’s over. School and student life can be very stress-inducing, so it’s understandable. Some examples are...

‘ I'm proud of myself for persevering and completing this task.’

‘"I've done a great job, and I deserve to acknowledge my efforts."

‘I'm proud of my growth and progress, and I'm excited to see what the future holds."

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Another reason may be that you prioritize your academic career over your well-being, making your achievements seem less exciting. Make sure you’re taking the appropriate breaks, sleeping well, and having a balanced diet. 

Also, make sure you’re balancing your studying and school work with hobbies and socializing. You don’t want your whole life to revolve around school. CELEBRATE IN YOUR OWN WAY. Whether it's a good meal, sleeping late watching Netflix, or even buying/baking yourself a cake.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Friendly life advice from our friendly neighborhood Ganondorf :)

The captain sighed a little, leaning back against the palm tree. He watched Ganondorf for a while, watched as he rocked gently in the hammock seat that had been his perch for the last few hours. His gaze trailed down to the teenager in the man's arms, and he caught sight of the remains of skin paint that had mostly washed off, some kind of mark of royalty in the ancient past.

Royalty. The kid was a king.

Link sighed again, thinking about his own circumstances.

"Something's clearly on your mind," Ganondorf commented, his voice quiet as he watched the boy, continuing to rock both of them gently.

Link crossed his arms a little defensively. He supposed he was being fairly easy to read. "I just... I need to get my life together."

Ganondorf's eyes flicked upward from the sleeping teenager to the captain. Link felt himself shrink a little under the scrutiny; no matter how calm or gentle Ganondorf was now, his gaze was as intense as ever.

"Don't give me that look," Link accused, trying to glare back.

Ganondorf didn't comment. He didn't have to. He knew his presence was enough. Link hated that.

Rolling his eyes, he admitted defeat. "It's just... he's... he's my predecessor. All the expectations that have been on me... the entire war that Cia started... it's all from past heroes. And he's my direct predecessor."

"So you assume that you're inadequate in comparison to him?" Ganondorf surmised, though the flat tone of his voice clearly indicated his opinion on the matter. "Do you not recall the state he was in when I brought him here?"

"I recall Lana having a meltdown," Link laughed before growing somber. "But yes, I... I don't understand. I just... I don't know. He's, what, eighteen? And he's a war hero, a king, rebuilding Hyrule--"

"Are you not also a war hero? A captain? Rebuilding Hyrule?"

"I'm not rebuilding," Link grumbled, looking away and glaring at nothing in particular. "I'm just existing."

"And what of it? You need your rest. You cannot accomplish anything if you don't recover."

"Everyone else has!" Link snapped, rising.

Ganondorf sighed, looking down at the teenager again. "He is an example of what happens when you don't. I will not let both of you give me a heart attack, nor will I let you hurt yourself like that."

"I need to get my life together," Link finally repeated, wilting.

"Link."

Reluctantly, the captain straightened, looking at the Gerudo. Ganondorf had stopped rocking, sitting up a little more, full attention on him now.

"You're twenty years old," Ganondorf pointed out. "I didn't start 'getting my life together' until I was forty-five. We all learn and grow at different points in our lives. Do not try to figure it all out now. Simply take one day at a time."

Link finally laughed, relaxing. "What a day, for the Hero of Hyrule to be taking life advice from someone who started... how many wars?"

"Two," Ganondorf answered dully, returning his attention to the teenager. "And you know I'm correct."

"Yeah, yeah," Link agreed casually, approaching the pair. Ganondorf moved the boy's feet a little, making space for the captain, and he slowly plopped down beside him, letting himself lean on the Gerudo a little. He didn't protest when Ganondorf's arm slid around him, pulling him closer. He just sighed again, less disconcerted, closing his eyes and feeling the warm breeze.

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

Rebecca Ferguson sits across from me before her photo shoot with The Envelope. Her sandy blond hair is loosely tied back and she’s wearing an oversize comfy flannel shirt with dark trousers. Between us, two laptops — a virtual setting — but the accomplished actor makes it feel as though you are in the room with her. The same can be said for Juliette Nichols, the emotionally conflicted character she portrays in the gripping Apple TV+ dystopian drama “Silo,” where civilization has migrated to a massive underground bunker.

“Her vulnerability was the most important moments for me because the strengths of the character are uninteresting — they are already shaped,” she says. “What I found interesting is why she is uncomfortable with people, why is she scared when people are too close.”

Ferguson, who also serves as an executive producer of “Silo,” found her answer in Juliette’s heartbreaking childhood. At 13, she loses her mother and younger brother before running away from her father (Iain Glen) to the down deep of the bunker to apprentice in the mechanical department. “I studied a lot of grief and trauma because she loses her mom at an early age. When we understand this character, she is very lonely,” says the Swedish native. “Her trauma, it’s nearly claustrophobic and weighs you down, which I tried to embody in her when people get too close. It’s like this injection of fear.”

Juliette’s discomfort around others is put in the spotlight when she’s plucked by the powers that be to fill the role of sheriff following the death of the former top officer (David Oyelowo). She accepts, on the condition that she can fix the failing generator down below before something catastrophic occurs. The sequence that unfolds in the third episode, directed by Morten Tyldum, is a master class in edge-of-your-seat drama that culminates in a character-defining moment — one that sees Juliette standing alone in thought after the successful repair. “There is so much layered in that moment. All these juxtapositions of ‘I need to fix this, but if I fix this, it means I will also have to leave my people, and if I hadn’t fixed it everyone could have died.’ And all the trauma she’s gone through, it’s all compartmentalized into a moment of now what?” 

Sheriff Juliette steps in wanting to find the truth behind the death of her boyfriend, George Wilkins, an unsanctioned anthropologist of ancient artifacts — such as a Pez dispenser. “The contrast was so important to find,” Ferguson says of the series showing them in happy times in flashbacks. “For me, it was important to find the quirks and the fear. She is worried about him going on his extravagant journeys because she’s afraid to lose him. There’s this child in her, a vulnerability; her hair is different, her clothes are different, there’s a softness. The dynamics are so real — we practiced them a lot. Those scenes are the moments that defibrillate another feeling where you can slow your heart rate and you can fall in love with two people.”

As Juliette investigates George’s death, labeled a suicide though she suspects otherwise, she begins to uncover bigger mysteries within the silo and its leadership. “What I love about this show is that the audience is figuring it out with the character,” Ferguson says. “There are secrets and astronomical complexities in this world, but you’re getting to unravel them one-on-one with a character who is trying to solve one murder that leads into bigger questions and bigger lies. That’s what’s so exciting.”

When the pressure of the new uniform begins to mount, Juliette contemplates returning home to the depths of mechanical. But longtime friend Walker (Harriet Walter) persuades her otherwise, saying, “Love had you doing the right thing and now anger is making you give up.” Ferguson remembers first reading the scene and thinking it was too sentimental. “Something can read differently on the page, but then we sat down and someone said this is one of the most pivotal, most important moments for Juliette’s journey. It’s the change in realizing this is not a story just for her selfish needs. This is a moment where it’s about the bigger picture. It’s about doing the right thing. It’s really a beautiful and powerful moment for her.”

When asked if she thought of Juliette as a savior, Ferguson demurs, saying, “I don’t think I was supposed to look at her that way. It would have made her a hero in her journey and that’s not interesting. She doesn’t start off as a hero. She’s powerful and a bit of a badass, but she has vulnerabilities, grief and fear. That’s what’s interesting. Juliette is constantly faced with hinders, and every time she solves something, another hinder, it’s like building a bridge and it falls and you have to build another one and another one. She doesn’t give up.”

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

[sergle]

I kinda have the itch to make more floral self portraits again, but it feels more complicated now, with the knowledge that those pieces are the ones that most frequently get stolen. Used as social media content for other ppl’s onlyfans, (poorly) traced for clout, reposted in terf spaces, resold reprinted redrawn repackaged. And that’s without mentioning all the messages I’ve been getting about my body Post-Breast-Reduction-Gofundme. Like, am I still supposed to feel okay about putting my body out there?

[whos-tanya]

Very few things will be quite as chilling to me as when Will hides in Martha’s closet — only to emerge with “The name is Lila.” I cannot describe the amount of confusion and fear I felt hearing that voice during my first playthrough.

[sapphorror]

Okay but my favorite GIR moments are ALWAYS the ones that imply he's just aware enough of what's going on to know that the thing he's doing will fuck up Zim's day, and he still does it anyway, possibly specifically for that purpose.