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#but maybe i will who knows the night is still young
unknownmystery22 · 1 day
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Little Do You Know -Lando Norris
Summary: Lando finds him jealous, little does he know he has no reason to be.
Warning: Jealousy, slight angst, drinking, slow burn
A/N: look out for a twist
REQUSTS ARE OPEN !!!
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You were an upcoming journalist in F1. You were young and charismatic. Naturally people in the paddock were attracted to you and tried to make an move on you. You never really cared about any of them you had your eyes on a certain Papaya brit.
Speak of the devil "Hi Y/N, looking good" Lando said. "Thank you Lando, you don't look too bad yourself. Best of luck for today He simply grinned and said "Well seeing you just made me a whole lot luckier" you just looked down to hide your blush which you were pretty sure Lando had noticed. Oscar called Lando for team meeting "See you around, gorgeous" he said cheekily and went away.
This had been going on for a while you both flirted here and there but never really made a move. You were close friends with some of them like Max and Charles they were aware of your feelings towards Lando and would tease you relentlessly.
The race went well. Max won again wow, shocking. Charles was P2 and Lando ended up being P3.
After post race interviews, just as you were about to headout. Lando called you out "hey wait!" "Well hello Lan how can I help you ?"you asked turning around. "Well I just wanted to ask if you will be coming to the party later" He replied. "Ofcourse Lan I wouldn't miss it" you said. He just grinned and said "Just making sure my lucky charm is gonna be there". You just smiled and rolled you eyes and went away.
*skip to evening*
You were all dressed up maybe a little too much for a certain someone. You heard someone knock your door. You opened up to find THE Lewis Hamilton at you door. "Well Hello gorgeous, if you don't look ravishing. All dressed up for a certain papaya driver perhaps" He asks wiggling his eyebrows. You just slap him in the shoulder and say "Can we get going already". "Oh! Eager to meet your boyfriend ha" He asks teasingly " He is not my boyfriend" you said. "Not yet" he replied.
You entered the club with Lewis holding my hand to protect me from the paparazzi. As soon as you entered you could see people stare at you. It made you feel much more confident.
Lando spotted you from where he was talking to Max and Oscar. He looked at you and starstruck till he saw who was next to you. "Since when are they close ?" He asks to no one in particular. Max just chokes on his drink and says "Wait! Mate you really don't know?" Lando just grumbles and says "Not that it concerns me". Oscar just replies sarcastically "Sure".
You walk over to Lando smiling "Hi Lan". Lando just mumbles a Hi and brushed past you still figuring how he missed out you and Lewis being close. You found his behaviour strange and to be honest it hurt a little. "What's up with him ?" You asked to other two. Max just shrugged innocently whereas Oscar said "He is just being a idiot".
You were feeling down since the whole reason you came was for him. Lewis comes over to you as he noticed the whole ordeal "Hey, let him be don't let him ruin the night for you, sweetheart" he drags you to VIP section and gets you a few drinks. Though in the VIP section with your friends and colleagues you couldn't help think over to Lando. As you looked around you saw him standing with Charles and talking with a few girls. You felt so hurt at that moment. Lewis followed your line sight "Love, come on don't read too much into it" He said trying to comfort you he wrapped his arms around you.
Lando saw Lewis wrapping his arms around you at the man swears if looks could kill Lewis would be dead for sure. He couldn't care less about the girl next to him trying to talk to him. Charles suddenly asks "Okay, what's up with you ? You are here with me instead of being with your girl".
Lando grumbles "She is not my girl and she certainly has company" looking over to Lewis. Charles looks over to see Lewis and it finally hits Charles and he starts laughing so bad. Lando looks bewildered "What's so funny ?" Charles still laughing replies "Dude you are jealous of her stepbrother" Lewis looks like deer caught in headlight "WHA- Since when OMG! I just messed up. She will be mad at me. I am so dumb for god-" Charles interrupts him mid sentence "you better go now" Lando straightens himself up and goes over to her.
"Umm Y/N.. can I talk to you for a second" Lando asked. You stood up from your place near Lewis and went with him outside to little quite place "So now you want to talk ?" you sass. Lando now embarrassed tells "You are probably going to hate me right now but as soon as I saw you with Lewis I assumed the worst, I was jealous that's why I was grumpy. I really like you Y/N and I thought I lost my chance so I pani-". You interrupted his rambling "Wait first of all you though I was with Lewis: with disgust on your face "Ew" "and second how did you NOT know that Lewis is my brother, well Stepbrother".
Lando just rubbed his neck "guess I am just dumb"
"Well, that's obvious. And for the record I like you too if that wasn't oblivious.
Lando grinned "So that means you are up for a date with me ?".
"I am pretty sure that is what I meant when I said I like you even if you are a dork" you reply.
Lando just comes closer and says "You wouldn't mind if I kissed you right now ?"
"I would mind if you didn't" you say
He just cups your face and kisses you deeply.
Little did he know the night would lead him to this.
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rin-may-1103 · 23 hours
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The Wrong Robin Au (part five)
Previous | Next | Master Post
Danny sat back with a wince, watching as Bruce and his butler (The man introduced himself as Alfred) collected themselves. Jason's book was now sitting on a shelf, displayed for everyone to see. Bruce's desk was moved back into place, and the chairs were repositioned. There wasn't any evidence of what had just occurred.
"would you like me to get you a rag, young sir?" Alfred asked, turning to glance at Danny with a raised brow.
Danny lifted his hand and gently touched his nose, hissing when it stung and throbbed. Pulling his hand back, Danny found his fingers covered in blood.
Well, that was going to be hard to explain later...
"yeah, thanks." Danny finally agreed, moving his hand back to hopefully keep more of his blood from staining his hoodie. His ectoplasm was just begging him to heal it, but he held back, watching as Bruce turned to face him.
The man was no longer crying his little emo furry heart out or blinded with rage. Instead, he was standing still with a calculative gleam in his eyes. Danny just knew the man was going to do a background check as soon as Danny left. (Or when Danny wasn't paying attention, he was Batman after all. Who knows what he was going to do?)
It's a good thing there was nothing that connected him with Phantom. Besides the drop in grades and convenient absences, but that can be excused by the trauma of his accident and all the ghost fights. Otherwise, Danny would be screwed.
No one besides Jazz and Wes has been able to figure it out, and he'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much. He's retired now, or well, was retired. He might be getting back into the crime-fighting part again, but he was going to do everything in his power to keep from getting pulled back into ghost-fighting and dealing with the occult every day.
He could handle following Batman around at night and punching a few goons here and there, but the ghost fights? The world ending catastrophes? The annoying cult summoning? He didn't think he could handle it again. And sure, if there was no other option he would go out and protect the world. (It would be very shitty of him not to if he could do something when no one else could. He lived here too, you know.)
But that's not his job anymore. No, that's what the Justice League is for. (was for... He had forgiven them for not being there for him when it mattered. They were here now. So it was fine. No, it wasn't) They're the ones who are protecting Earth now. They're the ones who have to drop everything and help save the world. Not him. Not anymore.
Maybe he could think of this as a really shitty vacation? Then once he's sure Batman is stable and that Tim won't do something stupid, Danny could go back to Amity and figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. Maybe he could even go to college?
"Why are you here?" Bruce asked, his calculated eyes still boring into Danny's head. Danny, having gotten used to ghosts popping up and speaking to him at all hours of the day, didn't flinch as he glanced back up at Bruce.
"To keep you from killing yourself, seriously dude. Did you not hear when I told you earlier?" Danny spat, pointedly wiping the blood off his chin.
Bruce barely even moved, but Danny could tell he had winced. Sensing people's emotions was going to become one of the more useful powers he had, wasn't it?
...
How long was his nose going to bleed, again? Didn't broken noses stop bleeding after a few minutes?
His core flared in annoyance, finally making him remember a very important fact.
He was half dead. As in his body doesn't heal or change without the influence of his ectoplasm. This means he's going to keep bleeding until he either doesn't have any blood to bleed or he lets his ectoplasm heal it.
Great.
That's not going to make Bruce suspicious at all. Nope. Definitely not.
Focusing on his nose, Danny let his ectoplasm rush to the area and start healing it, but held it back before it could do more than stop the bleeding.
Alfred entered the room not even a second later, "here you go, young sir. Just hold it there for a minute while I prepare my med kit."
Danny grabbed the rag handed to him and pressed it to his nose, ignoring the sharp pain. He watched as Alfred placed his med kit on the side table and started digging through it. After a few minutes, Alfred leaned back and pulled on some gloves.
"let me have a look," he demanded, turning to kneel in front of Danny. Danny sighed, removed the rag, and leaned forward to let Alfred get a closer look. The man clicked his tongue, but gently grabbed his face and studied the injury.
Bruce shuffled awkwardly in the background, looking like a child waiting to get scolded. Good. He was a grown-ass man for crying out loud, he should get scolded for breaking Danny's nose.
"Alright, this will hurt," Alfred said, moving his hands to gently rest next to Danny's nose. Danny, having dealt with many broken noses before, looked away from the older man and stared Bruce dead in the eyes.
With sure but quick movements, Alfred straightened his nose with a loud crunch. Bruce's eyes narrowed as Danny bit his tongue, keeping any other sign of pain to himself.
"There," Alfred sighed, "it was a clean break, so you'll only have to keep some gause on it until you go to the doctor. Master Bruce?"
Bruce grunted, before finally looking over to his butler. "I'm fine, Alfred."
"good," Alfred nodded, "then I shall put on some tea. In the meantime, I recommend you two have a civil conversation."
Danny leaned back, taking the wet rag Alfred handed to him, and cleaned his face. Now that his nose looked normal, Danny allowed his ectoplasm to start healing it. He didn't plan on seeing Bruce again anytime soon, so any bruises or swelling he should have, won't matter.
Alfred finished placing his medical supplies away and held his hand out for the rags, once Danny gave them to him, the man swiftly left the room. bruce will probably want to test his blood later now that Danny thinks about it. Well, that's definitely something Batman would do, Danny thinks.
Oh well, it's not like his blood would reveal anything. It's literally just his human blood. Now if he was bleeding as Phantom? This would be a whole other problem.
"Who are you and how do you know who I am?" Bruce grunts, stepping closer to Danny in an attempt to be intimidating. And it would have been if Danny hadn't just watched the man breakdown ugly crying not even thirty minutes ago.
Rolling his eyes, Danny leaned back in his chair and huffed, "I told you this already. My name's Danny. I'm here to keep you from killing yourself. And it's pretty obvious who you are if you just think about it." Because it was obvious. Once Tim pointed it out to him, that is.
He wasn't about to just tell Batman that though, Tim didn't deserve to have the man breathing down his neck just for being smart enough to figure it out.
Before Bruce could respond, Danny's phone rang once, twice, then stopped. Glancing at the clock, Danny found it was only six. This meant, it was either Sam texting him to figure out where he was (which wasn't likely, since he usually disappeared in the mornings) or it was Tim.
Grabbing his phone, Danny unlocked it and was met with a message from Tim.
TIM: thanks for listening to me.
Before Danny could send a response, another text came through.
TIM: when did you want to meet up and discuss a plan? DANNY: tomorrow, after you get some sleep. TIM: I did! I took a nap! DANNY: not a long one. TIM: I'm not tired though! DANNY: Then pretend to sleep or something, I don't care. Could you just make sure you sleep before I text you tomorrow? please, kid? TIM: whatever. you're not even that much older than me, you know that right? Danny: sure kid.
"Who is that?" Bruce suddenly asks, making Danny glance up at him.
Shit, uh... "The kid I'm babysitting later."
You know what? That works. And it's technically true.
Bruce just hummed, allowing Danny to turn back to his phone.
TIM: I'm thirteen! DANNY: Yeah? Well, I'm seventeen, almost eighteen. Anyone under the age of fifteen is a literal baby. which makes you? that's right. a child. and what do children need? Sleep. They need sleep, Tim. TIM: I'm not a child! and if you've forgotten; I still have all the evidence proving that you're Robin. I'm petty enough to release it. DANNY: Go ahead. If it'll make you sleep at night.
Tim left him on read after not responding for a few minutes. Bruce had wandered over to his desk to work on something, probably Danny's background check.
Sighing, Danny sent a text to Sam letting her know he'd be busy for the rest of the morning and to let Tucker know. Once that was done, he shoved his phone into his pocket and stood up. Bruce glanced at him for a moment before going back to what he was going, leaving Danny to look around the office.
Pictures were hanging on the wall, books covering the shelves, and random objects covering everything else. Basically, Bruce's office was filled with all sorts of things. Things that could give Danny an idea of who Bruce was as a person. Something he was going to need to know if he planned to stick around and help him. which he was. because he'd promised Tim that he would.
Reaching out, Danny picked up one of the photos and examined it. It was Bruce, Alfred, and some boy Danny didn't recognize, though they looked eerily like him. They could even pass as his clone if you squinted.
"Hey, Bruce," Danny started, "Who's this?"
Next
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Before he and Odysseus make up, Astyanax must undergo some character development, so here it is
Astyanax closed his eyes to sleep at Calypso's island, far from the greek man and the goddess, and when he opened again, he found himself at an unknown place.
It was clearly divine intervention, even if he didn't know which god was playing with him, caution was more than necessary. His weapon was next to him in the dry soil and dust that covered everything that his eyes could see.
Ruins were everywhere, but that didn't stopped him from imagining what was there before. In the wholes of the ruin his mind was able to rebuild an image of a past era of prosperity. Giant destroyed walls talked about years of siege and the doors, crooked and rotten in their place, of what was once the city, spoke about days of glory long gone.
Then there it was, a pile of a structure which shape can't be recalled, but the dirt and the moss were no obstacle for Astyanax's mind.
"This is Troy." He said, to the ghosts of those who died there.
"This is where Troy were once", a thundering voice corrected him, condescending. "I want to show you something, come."
Disobedience and a snarky reply crossed briefly by Astyanax's mind, but in the last second he kept those to himself, opting for following the Thunder Bringer. Broken stairs and rooms which once had colour and life greeted him as he ascended, testimonies of a time that was no longer his.
"Why did you bring me here?" He asked.
"I have a mission for you."
"I'm not interested in being your champion, Zeus."
Then the thunder God used the dusty cloud of his sandals to take form and looked him in the eye. His expression was of amusement.
"No one is talking of champions here, boy. I have a mission for you, that's all."
"Still not interested."
"But you are so filled with rage! Wouldn't you like a chance to unwind?"
"I'll pass, thanks for the offer."
A long, patronizing laugh came from Zeus.
"First, take a look at what I have to show, and then decide."
The room, looted and ruined, changed to depict a scene from the past. Sounds of slaughter came from the balcony, and there, in the corner, there was a cradle.
An echo of man entered the room, and something tightened in Astyanax's chest when he recognized the man as none other than Odysseus, a young version of him, old, yes, but younger, and maybe tired, but Astyanax could still see some hope in his eyes.
The scene developed in front of him as Odysseus had told him, which only reassure him that the man had been telling him the truth that dreadful night in the beach.
Astyanax could only watch, as a young Odysseus disobeyed Zeus, faked a baby Astyanax's death, and took the child version of him to safety.
""Come on, little ghost," the young Odysseus mumbled softly, even covered in blood, "where are the clothes for your diapers stored? We must go."
Astyanax blinked away some tears while the illusion faded away.
"I would like you to kill him." Said the king of gods. "That's my mission for you."
"Why."
"As you have seen, he disobeyed me."
"Well, tough, I said no."
"This is your chance to avenge your home, your father! Troy's legacy lives runs through your veins..."
"Is this what the Trojan Legacy is??!?!?" Astyanax exclaimed with fury. "A meaningless death after another! Sonless fathers killing fatherless sons!! Bloodshed that never dries! Ruthlessness, and the greediness of the gods turning everything they touch into ruins."
"Careful, boy, shut your mouth before is too late."
"Or what? You will kill me? You have wanted me death since I was a baby! And now you want me to kill the only man I have called father and for what? Because you are bored??"
"Hector, crown prince of Troy, was your father..."
"And where is he? WHERE IS HE? HE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU AND EVERY SINGLE GOD WHO LIVES IN THAT FREAKING MOUNTAIN OF YOURS."
Astyanax coughed after yelling so much, he even turned red, so lost in his self righteous fury that he forgot to breath for a second.
"Are you done?"
"Not even close." Astyanax muttered with a dangerous edge in his voice.
"You will kill Odysseus of Ithaca because, I, Zeus, God of Thunder, has told you so."
"Eat me, asshole."
Then Astyanax turned around and started his journey downstairs, to see if the greek army left something valuable behind. Something useful. At least he hoped not everything was at the bottom of the sea with the Ithacan fleet.
Zeus didn't stop pestering him, the dusty cloud following Astyanax.
"Where are you going? I did not finish saying my piece!"
"But I did, now fuck off, I need to get back to Calypso's."
"To kill Odysseus, I assume."
"Your assumption is wrong." The characteristic hint of sass was back in the boy's voice, as he took a long wooden stick from the ground, maybe it could be useful...
"I am Zeus, God of Thunder..."
"And I'm Scamandrius of Troy, son of Hector and Andramoche, Ghost of Troy, the Infant from that night, I'm the 601st man, I'm the One you wasn't expecting...and last but not least, I'm Astyanax the cynic, son of Odysseus...and I'm going to let him go and that's final."
"Why? It's an order, kill him!"
"No. He is not my enemy. You are."
"Are you threatening me, boy?"
"No, I'm stating facts. He's not my enemy and even if I kill him, that won't bring Troy back."
"Merciness is not a valuable skill."
"And that's the difference between men and gods. The need for mercy." Luckily for Astyanax, the curtains were still in place, so he took them down.
"That's naïve."
"Is it? It's because of an act of mercy that I am alive. Mercy is a weakness, yes, but is a strength too. Civilizations raise and fall because of it"
"He is still a threat."
"To whom? He tried to kill me because you ordered it, he is a mere puppet in your scheme. There's nothing personal in that. He's dangerous to you, and you want to toy with him by making me kill him. My answer is still no, by the way."
"And you are letting him go, out of mercy."
"And out of love." Astyanax looked at him with something that was tinted with sadness. "You know, I feel sorry for you, so many sons and daughters and none of them has called you dad...and it shows."
"You know nothing about me, mortal."
"Neither do you about me, puny god. As I was saying, I choose to let him go, because I'm also Astyanax the merciful, but I'm no idiot. He is a nobody, but you, in the other hand, have much to explain. What would you tell the other gods? Would you return home and tell them that you challenged a child? That you were so scared that you just couldn't stand the thought of me being alive? Go, go and tell them who defeated you, tell them about me, tell them that a boy with no beard beat you in your game. Tell them that your ego blinded you and a boy outsmarted you."
"Do you think is wise to talk like that to a god?"
"No, but is it fair to me to chase me like this? I was a baby, not a threat, back in the Trojan war, yet you wanted me dead. Troy was a beautiful place, without the gods' interferance, yet today is all dust and ashes. And now, you just ordered my death, again, because that's what all the 'kill Odysseus' nonsense is, you just want him to kill me. Is this what you want your legacy to be? A capricius whimsical god with no sense of morality! I just want to live in peace, is that too much to ask? Of course you choose not to speak. If your choice is to tell the other gods...Tell them where to find me. Tell them I'll be in Ithaca, and so will my father."
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ashoss · 2 days
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stephanie & bruce fic recs
for @peachie-wren13 :DD
Permutations & Hinterlands - cabezas_de_vaca
steph & bruce
7.5k words, 1 chapter
summary:
She and Bruce are complicated (not bad complicated, not wrong complicated, just complicated, because he isn’t her father and will never be her father and yet he sort of also is) but he cares. It gets lost sometimes, under the demands of Gotham, but it’s there.
And so, she just asks him. “Do you want to go to Colorado with me?”
Or: Bruce, Steph, and a road trip
* heed the tags !! angsty
dont wanna long post this so more under the cut :)
sweet child o’ mine - Nokomis
steph & bruce, steph & alfred
4,4k words, 1 chapter
Summary:
Steph said cheerfully, “Bruce, from now on, consider yourself in possession of one Steph-mom.”
“Absolutely not,” Bruce said.
Steph took a bite of her cake, undeterred.
A Softer Gotham - Hinn_Raven (series)
steph & bruce, time travel
12.2k words, 3 works
summary: One night makes all the difference. Especially a night when Stephanie Brown, in the wrong dimension, interferes in a mugging.
though your eyes will need some time to adjust - popsunner
steph & bruce
4.4k words, 1 chapter
summary:
“I think…” Stephanie takes a deep breath, “I think I’m bad.”
“I don’t.”
“So what, I’m just supposed to believe you?”
“I am Batman.”
Stephanie snorts, “Yeah, you are… but what if I’m still bad?”
“Then I forgive you.” _______
Or: Stephanie and Bruce, figuring it out
Tuck Me In - OberonBronze
bruce & his kids (big on jason, but it does have cute scene w the other ones esp steph)
14.1k words, 1 chapter
summary:
Bruce Wayne and his long-standing habit of tucking his kids into bed.
Galas Suck - dottie_dc (dottie_wan_kenobi)
steph & bruce
1.9k words, 1 chapter
summary:
When she doesn’t respond, he looks down to her face, finding her staring in the direction of the doors they came in through. “Something on your mind?”
He’s really asking, why did you come and get me? If it’s just nerves, she would’ve been better off with one of the others. No, it must be something else.
Steph blinks, turning her gaze upwards. Never one to back down, she meets his eyes long enough for him to see she’s not in any distress, at least. “Just thinking.”
“About?”
“I don’t know,” she mumbles. “Everything. Nothing.”
------------
Written for the Gen Batfam Christmas Stocking 2019, for the prompt "Wayne Gala"
the early robin gets the worm - deargalileo
bruce & his kids
7k words, 1 chapter
summary:
bruce loves all of his children equally. its just when he has to wake them up, that there's an issue.
aka; the five times bruce tries to wake up his kids, and the one time that he doesn't.
DON’T YOU CRY, DRY YOUR EYES. - orpheusaki
steph & bruce
4.8k words, 1 chapter
summary:
After inhaling her food before Bruce's even halfway through his vanilla milkshake, Stephanie seems to have sobered up a little. She's looking less green, and more like she's trying to develop x-ray vision and look into Bruce's soul.
Or maybe she's still drunk, because she very suddenly and very bluntly tells him, "I used to wish you were my dad," drowning her chips into a little pot of ketchup.
Bruce pauses. He slowly drops the chicken nugget he was about to put in his mouth — since now is probably not the time to complain about how the nuggets are a little dry today.
(Bruce Wayne is not Stephanie Brown's father, not at all.)
*tbh anything by orpheusaki is gonna be an amazing read, ive loved all the fics ive read by them <333
Have I Told You About Minnie? - Hinn_Raven
steph & bruce, bruce & his kids
4.6k words, 1 chapter
summary:
After you’ve known Matches Malone long enough, you get used to him telling you about his kids. Not that his kids know about it.
too young to be taken seriously, too old to believe all this hypocrisy - Hinn_Raven
steph & jason & bruce
5.7k words, 1 chapter
summary:
When Crystal Brown goes into rehab, leaving Stephanie in the sole custody of her father, Steph decides to run away from home, and meets Jason Todd, who decides that she is the best little sister ever.
or:
"the dark knight is beaten up by children on the anniversary of his parents death... tragic"
theres not a lot of steph and bruce fics and it makes me sad :((
btw i have a google doc with a shitttttt ton of fics lol. its some recs ive been asked for so hope yall enjoy :)
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Let's Forget About the Stars: Chapter 2
A/N: Another chapter for Elvis and Dove! I'm really loving writing a happy couple 😂. Those of you who know me know I usually torture my characters for at least a decade before I let them be happy, but not this time! Also, just a quick note about the nickname: that is a real endearment in Mvskoke, but I spelled it phonetically instead of in the right alphabet. Anyway, I hope you guys love them!
Need to catch up? Masterlist HERE.
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, this gets a little sexy, erection, reference to masturbation, fingering, dry humping, orgasms, ejaculation, also racism and period-appropriate use of the word "Indian"
Word count: ~2.7k
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He kisses her again as the sun rises on them. And he's right. This is only the beginning.
******
Elvis and Dove spend the next few weeks in a haze of young love. They have to be careful about where they go and when because his fans seem to always find them, but for the most part they make a way. They spend as much time together as possible and at the end of each night he kisses her in his car outside of the ladies boarding house she has a room in. Every kiss builds in intensity and they struggle to stop themselves from taking it further. His hands roam over her body, squeezing her hips and even venturing to her breasts. She kisses his neck and nibbles his earlobes and they both moan and whimper so much it sounds like they're in pain. And they are every time they have to stop.
Elvis is convinced she's the woman he wants for his first time, but still he wants to wait. He's not sure what exactly he's waiting for, but he knows it's too soon now.
Dove is dying to give herself to him but she lives in constant fear that the second she does he'll lose interest. So instead, she gently pushes his hands away and he moves them to a more acceptable place and tells her goodnight, breathing heavily and dreaming of the day he'll be able to touch her however he wants.
Every time she makes it to her room, she collapses on the bed, her body buzzing and pulsing on the edge of something she can't identify. Elvis is left in the drivers seat with a raging erection, trying to calm himself down before he has to get out of the car. Several times he rushes straight to his bedroom to lay on his bed and pump himself to a release, quietly moaning her name as he makes a mess on his hand. He's running out of self control, but he doesn't want to ruin what he has with Dove. She matters too much.
One night they're finding it particularly difficult to stop. They've said goodnight no less than four times, but they're still glued together, his hand slowly creeping up her thigh under her skirt, his dick so hard it hurts. She whimpers and backs away.
"Elvis, wait." He pulls his hand back and flexes it, groaning. "We have to stop."
His breath is hot against her as he tries to calm down. He kisses her shoulder and exhales deeply.
"I know, Dovey, I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Maybe we just... should?" Her heart skips when she says it. But she's started to wonder how much longer she can make him wait.
"No... no I want to wait until..." For the first time it dawns on him. He knows what he's waiting for. "You need to meet my parents."
"What?" The conversation took a turn she did not expect. In his mind, though, he can't do what he wants to do, ask her what he wants to ask her, until she's met his parents.
"You need to meet Mama and Daddy. Come to dinner tomorrow night."
"O-okay." The prospect is a daunting one for her. She's not sure what they expect of his girlfriends, but she's guessing it's not her. Hopefully, they're not too off-put by her background. "Elvis?"
He kisses her neck gently, trying not to start anything again, but desperate to feel her.
"Yes, Dovey?" She whimpers as he moves down to her collarbone.
"Is it gonna be a problem... that I'm... not white?" He backs up and looks at her sternly.
"No. My mama's people have Cherokee somewhere way back. But if it is, they'll hear from me about it." She nods nervously and he takes her face in his hands. "They'll love you. You have nothing to worry about."
He kisses her deeply and passionately and she presses her body against his. The heat comes back and before they know it they're both breathless and running their hands everywhere again.
"I need to get out of this car."
"Yes you do." He kisses her again.
"I really really do." More kissing.
"Mhmm." She pulls away from him slowly, peeling her body off of his, laughing softly.
"I'll see you tomorrow., Jumbee." She rubs her nose on his. He blinks and laughs.
"What did you call me?"
"Oh! I'm sorry. It's a term of endearment in my language. Like sweetie or honey. It's what my mom calls my dad. I'm sorry, I won't-"
"No, I love it." He nuzzles his nose on hers and then kisses her again.
Reluctantly, she pulls away and slides across the seat to the door, pushing it open to walk up to her front porch. Before she does, though, she leans down to the window.
"Goodnight, Jumbee." He smiles softly.
"G'night, Dovey." She turns and skips up to the front door and he watches. Then he leans his head back against the seat, touching himself gently and whimpering. This is definitely a night that he'll be sneaking into his room for some alone time.
******
The next night, Elvis pulls up to Graceland with Dove on his front seat. Up until now, she hasn't seen where he lives.
"Woah." Her mouth drops and he laughs.
"I forget how impressive it is if you've never seen it."
"This is beautiful. You didn't tell me you lived in a place like this." He can tell the house makes her nervous.
"We didn't always. This is new. Come on."
"Jumbee, I don't know." He turns to her on the front seat and puts his hand on her cheek.
"Dovey, baby, it's gonna be fine. You trust me?" She looks into his eyes and nods. He kisses her softly and then pushes his forehead into hers. "Come on."
He gets out of the car and runs around to the passenger side to let her out. She stands up out of the car and he puts his hand on the small of her back to lead her inside. In the foyer, she smiles awkwardly as he proudly introduces her to his parents.
"Mama, Daddy, this is Dove Morningstar."
"It's nice to meet you both." Gladys and Vernon smile and shake her hand genially. Gladys speaks first.
"Dove. That's an interesting name."
"Oh, it's actually a nickname. My real name is Eleanor, but they've called me Dove since I was a kid."
"Well, it's lovely."
"Thank you, ma'am." Vernon finally speaks up.
"And Morningstar. You're Indian?"
"Yes, sir. Seminole."
"Hmm." He grunts and Dove can't tell if he's disapproves or if he's just quiet. Elvis steps in.
"Dovey is a singer. You should hear her. She sings better than me." He puts his arm around her waist and pulls her close to him. Gladys smiles at the two of them, glad to see her boy so happy.
"I'd love to hear you sometime, honey. Maybe after dinner we can gather 'round the piano." Dove nods, smiling a little more naturally now. "Speaking of dinner, it's ready. Let's go sit."
Gladys turns and they follow her into the dining room. The rest of the evening passes in polite conversation. Elvis excitedly tells the story of how they met, leaving out all the kissing that happened on the rooftop. Dove answers questions about her family and her upbringing and listens attentively to the stories that the Presleys share. Overall, things go very well.
After dinner, they gather around the piano singing together. Gladys is indeed impressed by Dove's voice and her knowledge of gospel songs. Eventually, Dove sits on the bench next to Elvis and puts her hands on the keys. Elvis didn't even know she played, but he watches her in awe as she gently presses the keys, singing a hymn in her Native language. When she finishes, he leans over and kisses her softly, unable to stop himself.
"That was beautiful, Dovey."
"Thanks, Jumbee." She whispers it but they're close enough that Gladys catches her nickname for him.
"That's sweet. What's it mean?" Dove looks up at her but before she can answer, Elvis cuts in.
"It's an endearment in her language. She used it for me and it just kinda stuck." He smiles proudly again and Vernon sighs discontentedly.
"Son, can I talk with you for a moment?"
"Sure, Daddy." He gestures and Elvis follows him into the corner. Dove plays another song on the piano and Gladys sings along. At the end, she stops her.
"Honey, how do you know all these gospel songs?"
"Oh. My daddy is a preacher."
"An Indian preacher?"
"Yes ma'am." Gladys beams. She's proud of her son for finding such a good girl. "Play another one, baby."
Dove goes into another song and the ladies harmonize while the men talk.
"You're not serious about this girl, Elvis." Elvis looks at him in shock.
"I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You know you have an image to uphold now."
"Yeah, and? I know the Colonel wants me single, but I can't stay that way forever."
"It's not just that, son. This kind of... interracial relationship... it's not gonna be good."
"Interracial relationship?!"
"She's not white, son."
"And you think that's a problem?"
"I think it just might be more trouble than she's worth." Elvis raises his voice and catches the attention of both women.
"You listen to me, Daddy. I don't care what you or anybody else has to say about it. She is worth it and I am serious about her."
"Now, son, there's no need-"
"No, there is a need! I love her and nothing you say is going to change it!" He stops and looks around the silent room. Dove has stopped playing the piano. She whispers to herself.
"He loves me?" Gladys responds quietly.
"That's what I heard." She puts her hands on Dove's shoulders protectively, glaring at Vernon. Elvis crosses the room and stands her up to face him.
"Yes. I love you, Dovey and I don't care who knows it." A warm smile spreads across her face.
"I love you too, Elvis." He leans down and kisses her a little more passionately than he should in front of his parents.
"Come on, Vernon. Let's get to bed and leave these two young people to each other." Gladys goes to usher him out of the room.
"Goodnight, Mama." Elvis says it without taking his eyes off of Dove.
"You two don't stay up too late."
"Yes ma'am."
"It was lovely to meet you, Dove."
"You too, Mrs. Presley." She knows it's probably rude, but she can't look away from Elvis. Gladys smiles again and walks from the room with Vernon in tow. Once his parents are gone, Elvis pulls Dove into a deep kiss, pressing his body against hers. He whispers against her lips.
"Come up to my room." He turns and takes her hand, leading her up the stairs. Once they get to his room, Dove swallows nervously. "Dovey, it's okay. Tonight's not the night."
She smiles and he pulls her into another kiss. The kiss heats up and he walks her backwards to the bed. He lays down with her, running his hand across her stomach and down to her hip. She throws her leg over him and rolls her hips into his. He pulls back, breathing heavily.
"Okay, slow down."
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay, baby. I know it's hard to stop." A lightbulb goes off for him and he smiles. "Honey, what if we... did something... but not... that..."
"Like what?" He smiles slyly.
"Do you trust me?"
"Always, Jumbee." He moves his hand down to her knee, trying to stop himself from trembling. His hand slides slowly up her thigh to her hip under her skirt. Then, he walks his fingers over to her center. She whimpers.
"Elvis, what are you doing?"
"Just let me touch you. I promise we won't go any further." She nods. He fumbles a little but eventually gets his fingers under the edge of her panties, moving them down to the place where she didn't even know she was aching for him.
"Oh..." She moans softly as his finger finds her center and moves around the edges of her entrance. "Tell me if it hurts or doesn't feel good..."
She whimpers again as he carefully slides one finger inside her.
"Oh, God." He looks at her carefully.
"Good?"
"Yes..." He starts to move his finger in and out and she moans. He smiles and then leans in, kissing her neck gently. He's talked to the guys enough to know what to do next. His thumb makes its way carefully to her sensitive bud, making circles. Her back arches and she whimpers.
"Is that good, baby?" She makes a noise somewhere between a moan and a grunt and he smiles again. He seems to be on the right track.
Dove is overwhelmed with the sensation of his hand on her. Something is building inside her and though she doesn't know what it is, she wants it to continue to completion. In efforts to reach whatever the goal is, she grinds into him, inadvertently rubbing against his cock, which is already hard just with what he's doing. He whines and rubs himself against her again. His mouth moves back up to hers and he kisses her deeply, rolling into her a little harder. She feels his hardness against her hip and it turns her on even more as she grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him in close to her.
"Oh, Elvis, don't stop!" He pumps his finger into her harder and harder as he grinds against her over and over. The friction is pushing his foreskin back and forth over his dick and he feels the pressure building.
"Mmm... Dove, baby, it feels so good."
"Yes! Yes!" He moves his thumb faster over her clit, nibbling on her earlobe and rubbing against her hip passionately. The heat between them grows as the intensity of their actions increases. His fingers move deftly against her as his hips do the same. They both feel like they're about to burst with desire and love for each other. And then they do.
"God, yes, baby, fuck!"
"Elvis!" She moans his name loudly as she climaxes hard against his hand, pulsing around his finger just as he ruts against her one last time, shuddering and whimpering, filling his pants with ropes of cum. She rides out the high of her orgasm completely oblivious to the fact that he's doing the exact same thing. He realizes what happened, though and pulls away quickly.
"Wait? Where are you going?"
"I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry."
"What? Why?" She looks down at his crotch and notices the wet spot on his pants. "What happened?"
"I-I-I I finished..."
"Oh..." She giggles and he rolls his eyes, embarrassed. He tries to move away from her again and she grabs him. "No, it's okay Jumbee. That was really... it's okay..."
He looks up at her shyly.
"You really don't mind?"
"No, baby. I'm glad it was good for you too."
"Yeah?"
"Yes." She leans into him and kisses him deeply. He wraps her in his arms.
"I love you, Dovey. So much."
"I love you too, Jumbee." He nuzzles into the side of her face and kisses her cheek.
"You wanna stay? I can hold you all night." She considers what it would mean for her to stay all night with him. Then she looks into his eyes. He is her future. Why would she ever leave?
"Yes, please." A genuine smile spreads across his face and he jumps out of bed, going to his drawers. He grabs a set of pajamas and brings it over to the bed.
"You take the top and I'll take the bottoms. Then we can snuggle up and sleep all night just you and me." He pushes a stray piece of hair behind her ear and kisses her cheek.
They both change into the set of pajamas and then crawl into bed. He cuddles up behind her and buries his face in her hair.
"I'm so glad I met you."
"Me too, Jumbee. Me too."
They drift off to sleep together, Elvis's mind racing with plans of how and when to ask and visions of her in a white dress walking down the aisle towards him.
******
Until next time!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @atleastpleasetelephone @cinnamoroll-things @burnthheparaphilia @jhoneybees @cattcb @everythingelvispresley
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forwoonnagi · 2 days
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A night to remember - Laufey and Beabadoobee 
inspo: @taesancore
Pairing: woonhak x reader
Warnings: none ,grammar mistakes ,fluff , Kyungmin - TWS (as your bff)
Wc:637
“Swore I'd seen you before
Watched you walk through the door
Something in your eye
Reminded me of somebody I used to know”
“Y/n.”
“Hm?”
“Do you have the notes for the maths exam?”
I look up and see him. Kim Woonhak. The hearthrob,the top player of the basketball team. “No.” I answered him while putting on my headphones again. “Dont play with me Y/n. I know you have notes” he said, making  me want to turn up the volume of my phone. “Then why are you asking me if you know.” I said while giving him an annoyed look. “Fine.”
April 4, 2023
“y/nnnn” woonhak says with a pout. “Yes?” I said while looking away from my phone. ‘I miss you”. ‘You're literally with me right now woonhak..”
End of flashback
We broke up because “he just didn't love me anymore”. Well I think it's just a dumb excuse to have another relationship.
“Are you sure you're okay y/n?” Kyungmin asks me while waving his hand in front of my face. “Huh? Uh yeah. I just zoned out sorry” I said while processing my surroundings. “It's okay, Anyways..” I don't know why..But everything was a blur. Kyungmin's voice was muffled. All I could think was woonhak. If i had to be honest..I 
haven't moved on from him.. I still feel jealous everytime i see him with another girl..
I miss him.
“So who's your date for the prom?” I heard kyungmin say. “Oh uhm..I don't want a date actually.” That's a lie. I want a date, but I want him. Not some random guy. I want him. Kim woonhak.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Y/N L/N! HURRY UP KYUNGMIN IS HERE ALREADY "I hear mom scream downstairs. I did some last minute touch up on my hair and I got my mask. This year's prom theme is masquerade, So most of us don't know who we were dancing with. “You excited?” Kyungmin asks me while driving. “Yeah..I mean it's our first and last prom before college..” 
When we arrived at the place. It was beautiful. Me and kyungmin separated ways. I went to the benches. Watching young love happen. After a few minutes,a tall guy with brown hair in a black suit sat beside me. “Ahh young love..” he says while looking at the crowd of high school students dancing and laughing. “Yup..Did you ever love someone so much?” I asked him. “yeah..I had the best girlfriend any guy could ask for.” he said while looking at me with a smile. His smile was cute..It reminded me of someone.. “Had? So she's your ex?” I asked him. Maybe me and this person are in the same situation..Woonhak was also the best boyfriend i could ask for.
“Yeah..and I regret breaking her heart. I broke up with her because my parents didn't like her since she was a nobody.” oh.. “I also had a boyfriend..He was my everything.” i said to him “Also your ex?” he said while looking at me. He has warm brown eyes.. “He broke up with me because he didn't love me anymore. I act cold around him but I truly miss him” I felt my heart just crushed.
Every Time i remember that day I just crumble.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Let's break up.” woonhak said to me while avoiding eye contact. “What..are you serious woonhak??” I shouted at him. I was angry. I was angry that he won't look at me.
“I just don't love you anymore.”
a/n: This is my first time writing breakup scenes so dont judge AHAHA. Might write pt2 this week (?)
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"You're pretty dang defeatist for someone who votes third-party. Come on. Let's go bully some sensitive artists."
Lisa Ann Walter as Melissa Schemmenti in Abbott Elementary | 02×17: Mural Arts
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childrenofthesun77 · 6 months
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Back when mahiru thought his uncle might be dead he had a flashback to the accident that resulted in his mother's death, but one thing I noticed is that we don't actually see akira in this memory? It feels like either mahiru (or someone like lily or jeje) is supressing his memory here.
And if someone possibly killed akira on purpose, who was it and why?
#servamp#akira shirota#mahiru shirota#I mean the biggest plot twist would actually be that she faked her death and is actually alive/a vampire for whatever reason#But assuming she's dead who would have a motive#touma seems unlikely I feel like he would have taunted mahiru with that back when he mentioned killing several people#I forgot how old mahiru was when akira died but mikuni was probably still too young and also he used to hate humans getting killed#No idea why he's working with tsubaki to do a ritual that will kill all of tokyo now#Tsubaki maybe? He might know about what is so special about mahiru. In that case killing the mother (who also knew what's special about him#Would make some sense. She can't tell mahiru or anyone else about it if she's dead.#But killing her in a way that might have killed mahiru as well...assuming whatever is special about mahiru is needed for the ritual#Risky#But maybe mahiru's memories were faked like misono's were with the night kiriko died and mahiru wasn't actually there when akira got killed#Trying to kill tooru after he had to reveal his ties to c3 before he could explain to mahiru what's special about him#Would also fit with tsubaki#tsubaki would also have a motive not to taunt mahiru with it so nobody tries to look into it and finds out what killing her would achieve#If mahiru is needed for the ritual it's probably even better that mahiru and kuro found a way to get rid of the distance limit#because the enemies probably planned with the distance limit in mind meaning mahiru not needing to be there when kuro tries to stop tsubaki#Might be unexpected to them and throw a wrench in their plans
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identityquest · 3 months
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lizzie get two wolves 👍
#strato.txt#oil painting#wip#im worried ive unbalanced the composition w the second one on the right tho... its so much closer to the edge#ugh whatever. aunt lizzie is the focus here#i wish i knew what she actually looked like this is just cobbled together from general features of my family#solid build... dark curly hair... bigass ears. she could be one of my cousins. she could be me#ok rq im gonna lay out the story in the tags for anyone who hasnt seen the previous lizzie art#my great-something aunt lizzie was disabled and couldnt walk very well and she died young#she wanted to see the second floor of the farm house real bad but no one ever carried her up there and she died before seeing it#they buried her in a long white dress somewhere down at the creek. we dont know where her graves lost unfortunately#the night she was buried something wearing a white dress walked into the house and up the stairs and disappeared#and sometimes you can hear her down around the creek screaming#somewhere along the line wolves got mixed into the imagery for me#my uncle told me a story about another 'white thing' that was wolfish and would jump on cars#so i just assumed lizzie was a werewolf my whole life#anyways. i think her staying after she died was a manifestation of her desire for autonomy. maybe#maybe if shed had modern accommodations she wouldnt have felt the need to stick around. or maybe she would have idk#either way i think death afforded her control over her own desires in a way she hadnt experienced before#and i think thats why she still hangs around the creek#i hope she would like this. maybe ill take it down there and leave it out for a night when its finished so she can see
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aeb-art · 1 month
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so i made myself sad with this one actually oopsies
mall toons belong to @8um8le 🙇
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maddy-ferguson · 1 year
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Ngl, I really think that these bylers that are crying 24/7 about "purity culture" or whatever, are playing dumb when they start with their "but Nancy and Steve were 16 and 17 in that scene of s1!!!1" like... We got introduced to these characters at that age and the people playing them were already adults. So yeah, sorry but I think it's easy to see why most viewers would be uncomfortable with a more sexual scene of Mike and Will and it's not automatically homophobia, I think that would be the case with any of the kids since we got introduced to these characters when they were 12 and the actors were babies as well. We literally saw those kids grow. And I'm not saying byler should only get to peck or hold hands, It'd be cool if they have their epic kiss or whatever, but Will hasn't even had his first kiss yet and some of these people are already talking about sex scenes, like... Be for real 😭
funny you should say that...because i've used the nancy was 15-16 in season one argument (last tag) before while also saying that i understand why people find the sex part of their sexualities uncomfortable to discuss. and i wanna reiterate that, again, i totally understand that people feel like they've seen them grow up etc etc and that they still think of the actors themselves as children even thought they're not anymore.
i don't think it's all homophobia because like you said, people would probably feel the same about lucas and max and discussions of sex (i don't know if anyone is discussing that because there's much less discourse to have there and you can't argue that people are homophobic if they disagree with you) but i don't think it would be justified either. the "but we knew the characters when they were little" argument makes me think me of an ancient disney channel/abc show that old people and girl meets world fans who watched it for the first time in the 2010s will know, boy meets world (1993-2000). classic comic of age show, look at these kids. and eric in the back (he's fifteen).
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they're eleven at the start of the show and then, what happens in any coming of age story happens, you guessed it...
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they grow up. this is them in the later seasons, when the main characters are still in high school i think. they grow up, they talk about sex and about having sex at prom in season five and then they don't have sex right away because they figure it's not the right time yet or something like that, and then they have sex later and get married, the details don't matter. but my point is, who watches a show for five seasons, over years and years and gets upset at the main characters having sex because "this is crazy they used to be children"? isn't that the point of coming of age stories that cover multiple years or that focus on the latter years of adolescence, that they're not children forever and that at one point the characters "come of age" which usually includes their first sexual experiences?
i don't think the having sex part is particularly important in stranger things but also it doesn't have to be for it to be portrayed (see jonathan and nancy), teenagers have sex, it's just the way the world works. i'm not advocating for sex scenes of any kind especially because stranger things isn't a show that features a lot of sex in general, the only "explicit" sex scene being nancy and steve in season one with cuts to barb dying, but i genuinely don't think the duffers would have any qualms about portraying teenage sexuality in general with the party. if they did, they wouldn't have included erica threatening lucas to tell dustin what she found under his bed (it wasn't the communist manifesto) and they wouldn't have had max looking at a shirtless steve for an amount of time that's supposed to make the audience laugh. it's been 7 years. if they do a time jump, the babies will be about 17, played by actors who will all be around 20, the age natalia was when filming season one. the characters are teenagers, babies grow up. it happens to the best of us. i get why people would find it uncomfortable and maybe i would find it uncomfortable too but i wouldn't be scandalized. the duffers had no problem having a child actor portray everything will goes through in seasons one and especially two, i really feel like sex is fine and...not traumatizing or hard to watch compared to every single thing will's gone through lol. and again, i'm not even expecting them to have sex lmao, but i wouldn't cry myself to sleep if they revealed that everyone in the party actually knows what sex is.
last question: do we have any indication that jonathan had talked to more than one other girl (the girl at the halloween party being the one girl i'm counting for him) before he got together with nancy. i'm just asking because of your last sentence, because if we don't he should have slowed down also😭
#yes i'm back to calling people old for no reason. <3#saying that they will all be around 20 isn't a stretch because noah's turning 19 in 4 months and they haven't begun filming yet. thank you#i'm not mad at you anon sorry for not really agreeing with you and again i get where you're coming from and i don't even expect them to#have sex and if they did i would expect it to be implied like jonathan and nancy but yeah#what i mean when i say it's not particularly important in st is that i don't think they need to have sex for will's arc to be complete or#anything😭#i would've been happy with jonathan and nancy only kissing in s2 like idc yk it's a detail#i'm not advocating for sex scenes means HERE in this case i'm not anti-sex scenes in general lmao#i didn't watch bmw over years and years i watched it in like. a month and a half maybe i really was not crying when cory started wanting to#have sex and i was 15...an impressionnable kid who knew what sex was...disheartening i know💔#<- that wasn't me making fun of you anon lmao again i get where you're coming from i just respectfully disagree#i looked up the episode where they have sex and (spoiler alert lol) cory and topanga end up only having sex on their wedding night i think?#and that's not the episode in s5 i'm talking about but they consider having sex and talk about it so still bringing that one up#i found an article about something rider strong (shawn) said about not liking this episode because while they talk about sex at length they#never talk about safe sex and he even talked about his concerns to the showrunner because he thought it was irresponsible since yk young#viewers and all that and he was like maybe you don't get it different generations mine grew up with aids and everything this is really#important and he brushed him off! i thought that was interesting. this has nothing to do with st#ask
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callixton · 5 months
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oh i am on the Brink of a mental breakdown. and like a real one. i am going to feel so so fucking terrible and guilty if i don’t go to the first week of mac rehearsal bc i need to recover but i am also getting the sense that i Need to recover. i have never been this burnt out or genuinely terrified of starting a new semester in my life.
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hella1975 · 2 years
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i hate my town i hate the people in it i hate the shame that consumes us all i hate that every failure might as well be posted in the square because everyone knows everyone i hate that my grandparents are here and i hate that my mother came back for them i hate that the kids are dying and no one cares i hate that every good memory has a bad memory right next door like sam's house around the corner from my childhood home i hate the body they pulled from the river i hate the memory of hearing yellow by coldplay at my cousin's funeral because all i could think was that it was too modern for the situation but then he was only seventeen so it makes sense i hate that i was seventeen too and all the boys i knew were there his friends that were supposed to be the tough guys the scary guys i hate that i pretended not to see them sobbing i hate that everything smells of cigarettes here i hate the politics i hate the people i used to love that dont even smile at me on the street i hate that the girl who called me a slut works at my favourite bar i hate every alley and hidden shortcut and i hate that i know them like the back of my hand i hate the same fucking coffee shops i sat in when i was fourteen and scared and now im nineteen and scared and i hate that it's exactly what this town wants i hate that it wants anger i hate that it wants fear i hate that it wants shame i hate that i can give it everything
#thinking about how the two biggest things in my life rn - writing and my degree - are so punctuated by this fucking town#like my biggest fear with my degree isnt what id think of myself if i dropped out or failed#or even what my family would think bc they're nicer to me than i am#it's genuinely the thought of what my hometown lot would say that keeps me up at night#like the thought of my neighbour who told me id never accomplish anything bc my school was shitter than his fancy one#the thought of having to look him in the eye#or the thought of knowing my friends will tell their mums who are still on the PTA with old teachers who thought i was special#like small towns wrap you in this bubble of smallness and it suffocates you and you're so terrified and ashamed of every little mistake#and then my writing GOD i keep thinking about how tbos is probably the best thing ive ever written#and id publish it id genuinely try and get it published#but im just again so scared and ashamed and embarrassed like how do i explain to these assholes that im writing fantasy#and that's not even counting the gay angle bc that's the biggest part#i just am not brave enough for that yet and yeah maybe it's bc im still young but i shouldnt have to be brave to enjoy things to begin with#failure shouldnt require bravery when it's just a fact of life#and i think about if we'd lived in london like my dad wanted us to or if we'd gone to dublin bc my mum loves dublin#or even if we just hadn't come to this fucking town and we'd lived in ANY FUCKING CITY#my dad jokes about how in london he didn't even know his neighbours names and god i just crave that anonymity so fucking much#it's so frustrating and my mum takes it so personally whenever i say i hate the town and my sister says i'll grow out of it just because#she did but i genuinely dont think i will#and maybe that's the creative in me or the queer in me that she just cant relate to but i have always always hated this place#like a guy i have a VERY complicated history with messaged me the other day and we havent talked in TIME#and it was kinda sweet if not awkward just bc of our aforementioned rocky past but one thing he mentioned when i said i was at uni#was that he said really genuinely 'im so happy to hear that; i know you always wanted to get out of [town name]'#like he still remembers that about me even though weve been friends since we were 12 and i havent spoken to him since i was?? 17??#UGH i just hate it here and it's the fact that i'll never escape it either bc i cant totally abandon ship without also#abandoning my family and i refuse to do that and they refuse to leave so now im just stuck with all these CONNECTIONS#sorry to vent lol#ig this could be a poetry thing? we'll say it is instead of me just having another meltdown LMAO#hella goes home
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anaalnathrakhs · 3 months
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...i'm starting to wonder if i wasn't actually pretty often failed by the adults in my life as a young kid tbh.
#i'm always doubtful where to put the blame#in a morally neutral causality kind of way to be clear#because like. i dont know. if i was the adult. confronted to the opaque behavior of a child. would i have done better?#but also i can't help but think#why the fuck did they make me skip a grade (last grade of primary on top of that) when i was notorious for never doing my homework#and was incredibly inconsistent across topics#like i sucked at math. like ''needs to count on fingers to do a simple addition or substraction'' sucking at math.#like i never learned any multiplication tables sucking at math#like i never got how to pose divisions and still can't at age 18 because logicomathematics are completely counterintuitive to me#and just. the work was never done to make me Get It. my work or teachers' work who knows. but perhaps skipping a grade wasnt the solution#or like#apparently when i was three years old the pediatrician suspected smth was up with me#either autism directly or ''generally suspicious child'' we're not clear on that#but he told my parents. and everybody said ''we better test that'' and then. nothing. idk.#they filled a parental report of behaviors questionnaire for... adhd i think? autism maybe. and that's it. never fucking heard about it.#god. i just remembered my mom saying proudly they almost never put me in the nursery as a kid.#always either with a parent or family or a nanny.#and perhaps mother. you could have foreseen that a kid with no siblings no pets no kid neighbors no playdates. would end up socially fucked#i remember the teachers scolding late students and showing us that we were supposed to be in bed by 9:30 or something#and internally i was like BUDDY AT 9PM WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH DINNER#MOM'S BEEN HOME FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR#and shit. i don't know. i was scared of the dark as a child. to the point that even with the compromise#of keeping the door ajar and lights in the hallway (which i had to fucking advocate for btw)#i still slept curled up in the bathroom on a towel sometimes when it got too scary#and i would cry and scream before going to bed. i would beg my mom for sleeping pills from a young age.#i would often find myself in the morning sleeping with my face smushed between the pages of the book i literally fell asleep on#because i read until my eyes gave out#and a couple years later when i got a 3ds i'd play at night and if my dad caught me he'd storm into my room and i'd hide under the comforte#and he'd punch a couple times and whisper-yell at me not to do that and go to sleep#it took until i was about 15yo for me to see a sleep specialist
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benicebefunny · 1 year
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We could've had a season-long Nathan/Simi romcom with mistaken identities; candle-lit discussions of leadership styles; mutual recognition of anger as a totally valid respond to oppression and abuse; scenes with Sam ranging from hilariously awkward to achingly heartfelt; and a diorama of Simi's kitchen.
#ted lasso#nathan shelley#simi#i don't have anything against sam x simi other than the usual 'don't date your employees' thing#but i think a nathan x simi arc would have solved some of this season's problems#like sam having very little to do#or nathan just not appearing in whole episodes#or simi not having a last name or a backstory#i'm not arguing for a love triangle by any means#more of a wacky farce situation where nathan and simi don't immediately grok their shared connection to sam#there's a some close calls where sam and nathan just miss running into each other#maybe facilitated by a pair of swinging doors?#it's a very sweet undefined friendship between nathan and simi until the restaurant's soft opening party#which simi invites nathan to because schmoozing is her least favorite part of the job#and as confident as she is in her culinary skills#she is still a young professional and 'how to make high stakes small talk with millionaires who can make or break your career'#was not something her university course thought to include#so nathan shows up and he opens the door to find the entirety of afc richmond and trent crimm for god knows what reason#he bolts because he wants to survive the night#cue hurt feelings on both sides followed by the start of an actual romance#which sam now knows about#he Has Opinions about the age difference which spiral into sam mourning the loss of his first adult romance#made all the more complicated by the one-sided nature of that relationship created by the power rebecca holds over#sam's life and livelihood (including where he works and lives)#meanwhile simi and nathan go on parallel professional journeys hand in hand#maybe they stay together long term#maybe their romance lasts as long as this phase in their lives#but in any case they're friends for life#also what if nathan was sitting on a counter while simi was developing a dish#and she got a stain on her uniform and he spot treated it with common kitchen items and then they kiss?
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yeslordmyking · 2 years
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I'm so lonely and bored, but the company I want and the hobbies I want to engage in aren't holy, and I don't want to have to repent for doing what I like. I hope the changes my heart need to make come soon and with as little pain as possible.
Put on the new self. Even if you have no idea how not to be the old self anymore..
#I just wanted to be myself. now she has to go away forever and somebody else has to become my new self#someone I don't know. someone I don't feel like I'll enjoy being. someone who's not really real just someone i know I'm supposed to be#someone better. holier. more righteous. more pure. a good example... until that person becomes who I am naturally#a saint. I must become a saint. God will make me do it if I don't willingly die to who I am now. who I've always been#we're not supposed to miss and mourn our less holy selves. but I will#and I'm scared of the spiritually mature woman I have no choice but to become if I am to claim that I love God and want to go to Heaven#maybe this mentality will all be in the past#when i'm old and boring and want Heaven more than I want any future on this evil earth#but right now it feels like death even though I thought I already died when I got baptized. maybe I was still young and foolish then#this is the mature spiritual mindset I should've had when I got baptized but instead I was too caught up thinking I could get what I want#die to your flesh every day brothers and sisters. I guess the phrase 'even if it kills you' makes sense now#I just hope the people I pray for will be saved before the end even if I stop keeping up with them and knowing what to pray over them#at least let me have that Lord. if my life must become a wasteland of what I usually used to love please at least save what I love#so we can reunite in Heaven in purer holier forms that are acceptable to you#yeah... Ok rambling instead of sleeping.#nobody on here cares I scared away all oomf s long time ago... back to lonely full circle. goodnight to myself 🫂♡#night depression#late night thoughts#oversharing#tmi#christian struggles#personal#random#may it please the Lord
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