#but not enough people have understood this fact about vampires

[slav-every-day]

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Soft Astarion Jealousy

Now with part 2!

I love Ascended Astarion because he's horrible but the sweetness of the other end of the spectrum is impossible to deny. He's just so in love and grateful I can't 🥺🥺

So here's some jealousy that isn't psychotic. Well it is but not as bad:

Astarion never expected to be the jealous type. He always thought...well. In all honesty he never thought about the reality of having a relationship. He didn't even think it was possible for him, let alone the idea that he would actually want it. Even with you, even after he admitted a fraction of his own feelings to himself, he never thought that he would be so... possessive. Though admittedly, he had very good cause for it.

Because you were frustrating. So, so frustrating. For some idiotic reason, you simply didn't understand how alluring to others you really were. You were a pretty little thing, yes but that wasn't the problem. It was so much more than that. And he knew that the others wanted you. Every last one of them. Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Gale, Halsin. All of them like moths to a flame. And that wasn't even counting all of the strangers you had met on your journey, the extras that thought they had a shot with your greatness. They all wanted you in ways that made Astarion seethe. And the desire from others wasn't even the kind that he was used to, the kind he understood like the back of his hand. Because you didn't need to seduce to cultivate desire. All you needed to stoke the flames was merely your presence. Experiencing you was all that was required for people to know they wanted more.

Astarion knew that the others weren't just looking for a bedmate, they wanted you for the same reasons he had grown to. Your empathy, your desire to understand those around you. Your fearlessness, your infuriating habit of always trying to do the right thing. They wanted you for your laugh, the way your eyes would crinkle in the corners when your smile was too wide. Your silly jokes, your endless hopefulness for a future. It felt as though everyone around saw you for the gem that you were and it was... concerning. Extremely concerning.

Astarion hated thinking about things like this. He loathed admitting the truth to himself even more. But he was...terrified of losing you to someone else. Especially since it could so easily be done. He was so very lucky that you weren't the brightest, or at least not when it came to matters of the heart. You could do so much better than him, a fact that was incredibly obvious to everyone around you. Everyone but you, a luck that Astarion did not take lightly. But how much time did he have before it ran out? Would it ever?

Perhaps it was delusional, but he was starting to think when all of this was over, assuming neither of you perished anyway, that...it could just be the two of you. Living together, exploring the world, even if it had to be under the cloak of night. Maybe... maybe the two of you could even find a cure for his unsavory condition. The thought itself was incredibly stupid, but then again, it was just as idiotic to believe that there was a cure to the Mind Flayer parasite. But here they were, closer then ever. And if that was such an impossibility turned into reality, perhaps a vampiric cure wasn't so impossible. Or maybe even finding an alternative method for immortality for you, without the downsides of his own. Anything that could just keep you both together, for as long as possible. It was an unrealistic dream, that would never come into fruition. If anything it was dangerous, so very dangerous to even entertain the thought of forever. Especially when your connection was so tenuous.

Astarion would never be stupid enough to thank Cazador for anything but...he'd be lying if he said he wasn't appreciative for his own lack of subtly when it came to seducing you. Even if it originally was for distasteful reasons, it still got him ahead of the pack. If he had been less calculating, less astute, there was a sincere chance that you would be warming someone else's bed at night. Callousness would never be without it's uses, even if it led to uncomfortable situations like his current infatuation.

What would he do when you inevitably wanted to leave? How could he survive after having something so...good. Someone so caring, someone who for some very horrifying reason liked being around him. And the sex... it was fabulous. He was a massive fan of your intimacy, when he was capable of participating in it. He adored it, he adored you, your beauty, the sweet noises he could coax from your mouth, the europhia of being inside of you. Then there was the fact that you could be intimate without any traces of it devolving into lovemaking. He had never been gifted with the ability to say no before, so often and so freely without a single fear of punishment. If anything, it felt like he was rewarded when he was honest with you, when he would share his sudden fits of discomfort in his own body, the memories that plagued him and doomed him to staying stubbornly soft. You would never get angry, never even disappointed. You would just listen and smile, always adorable when you would ask, "But I can stay for a cuddle, can't I?"

An extremely silly question, considering the two of you hadn't spent a night apart from each other since you'd made it to the Shadowlands. Yet it never failed to make him melt.

It was getting worse, these feelings. He just wanted you around, by his side, constantly. Constant enough for him to get the ridiculous urge to hiss at anyone else who dared to come near you. He felt an intense need to protect the closeness the both of you had cultivated, the kind that he had never been allowed before. He had no interest in sharing you with your own friends when it came down to it, let alone another lover.

Which is precisely why his original, mild distaste for Halsin turned into a full-blown hatred the night he had the gall to proposition you.

It had felt like a shard of ice going through his chest when you bounded over to him, laughing about one of his greatest fears coming much too close to reality, "You won't believe the conversation Halsin and I just had-"

"Ah, I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that," Astarion laughed, purposefully interrupting you. He had no desire to hear the specifics of that conversation. He didn't even want to be having this conversation, where you were inevitably going to ask if it was okay to explore someone else.

The answer was no. Never would he be okay with it, allowing someone else to be close to what should have been his. But he needed to think strategically here. To say no could be disasterous. If it became a game of choice between him and Halsin... he's almost certain he would lose. Halsin was everything he wasn't; caring, giving, sharing in your worldviews in a way that Astarion never could. He couldn't risk it, he wouldn't. Having you at all was better than nothing.

"But I'd never even consider something like that-"

"It's fine," Astarion interrupts again, the fakest smile he can muster plastered on his face. The pain was worth the risk mitigation, he was sure of that. But... he still had to ask, "But is this because we haven't...y'know, in awhile?"

A sick part of him prays that you'll say yes. Because if that's the reason, he could do something about it. He could force himself if need be to always tend to your needs. Especially if it meant keeping you to himself. It was such a small sacrifice in comparison to the rest of his life. He would do it in a heartbeat if you demanded, anything to just make you stay.

But that was not the answer he received. Instead you frowned, looking him up and down, "What? No, I-Astarion no. Please don't think that. What we have together is so special to me. The physical part of it is lovely, perfect even. But...it's not what we are."

It's almost comforting to hear you say that. But then why did that make the situation feel so much worse? If it wasn't sex you were after then that certainly meant you wanted more with Halsin as well, did it not? But it was too late to rescind it now.

Astarion nodded, a confused mixture of hurt and gratefulness swirling through him, "I just needed to know. But if you're satisfied with me and just want to explore, go right ahead. I'll be here when you're done."

You nodded slowly, brow furrowed when you asked, "So...we aren't exclusive then?"

"No, of course not," Astarion confirmed, ignoring everything inside of him that was screaming for him to take it all back, "We can be as open as you'd like."

"I see..." You said, trailing off with a frown. You coughed into your hand, looking up at him sharply. Sharp enough for him to be sincerely confused, "Does this mean that you'll be speaking to me before you explore your other options?"

"I-yes? If you want?" Astarion answered, a new type of unease settling in his chest. You didn't seem very happy with this conversation, despite his best attempts to give you what you wanted. Where had he gone wrong? Was he already working to throw you into the arm's of another man, without even trying?

You were still frowning at him, your look cold in a way that made him feel particularly ill, "Please do. I'd like to know everything. I'm going to speak to Halsin, get this all sorted. We can talk later."

And then you were spinning on your heel and marching away, like Astarion was the offensive party here. It made no sense. He had done it all right, hadn't he? Agreed to it immediately, didn't make you feel guilty, had tried to be what you wanted. How had he failed?

He didn't wait around to see you go to Halsin. Instead he went straight back to his tent, closing the flap as he laid down. Great. Fantastic. Now he would have to be aware, perhaps even hear you being with another, while simultaneously reliving that horrid conversation in his head for the entire night. The hurt and worry was making his mind wander to uncomfortable places. Perhaps...Halsin could be dealt with in another way if things became too serious between the two of you.

Would poisoning the man be too extreme?

But before Astarion had the time to start thinking of a more detailed plan he was interrupted. Suddnely, moonlight was filling his tent, with your silleoute shining in the darkness.

He blinked up at you, confused, "What are you doing here?"

You frowned at him, looking hesitant in the entry way, "Should I not be? I thought-I can go if you'd like."

"No!" Astarion blurted out, loud and desperate enough to make him cringe. He cleared his throat, trying again, his voice still a touch too pitiful for his liking, "No, no, come here darling. Of course you're always welcome. I just assumed you would be busy."

To his relief you listened, crawling into the bedroll next to him. Astarion didn't waste any time in wrapping his arms around you, relieved to humiliating degrees that you had chosen to come back after the deed. Though...you didn't quite smell as he had thought you would. There were no traces of the floral, woodsy smell of the druid on your skin. Just the sweet, pleasant scent that he had grown so fond of.

You sighed as he tucked you against him, the warmth of you enough to make him relax for the first time that night. You laid together in a pleasant quiet, one that Astarion was actually scared to disturb. Despite the fact that he desperately wanted to know what happened between the two of you.

But you broke the silence for him, muttering into his chest after the two of you were settled, "I'm...sorry for being snappish earlier. I shouldn't have been. You didn't do anything wrong, and I know I don't own you. I shouldn't have assumed."

Astarion frowned, pulling back to get a proper look at your face. You looked hurt, sad even. Like you were the one who had gotten their heart broken. He could feel a curl of distaste settling in his stomach, annoyed that this felt as though the situation was being placed back to him. He had played his part, perfectly. What more could you ask for? What was there to assume?

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Astarion carefully said, his eyes fixed on every micro expression on your face, "What did I do that could have been construed as incorrect?"

"Nothing!" You rushed to say, shame coloring your cheeks, "I was being stupid. You never promised me anything. I just...assumed. Wrongly that we were something we aren't."

That didn't-he-what? Astarion frowned at her, his confusion evident on his face, "What did you think we were?"

You looked uncomfortable, avoiding his gaze when you answered, "I thought that we were...together. Alone. Just us. But if that's not what you want I understand. It's fine-"

"What in the hells are you talking about?" Astarion blurted out, his anger and pain bubbling to the surface, "I haven't done a thing. And we were just us before you decided to galivant off with a bear of a man!"

He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. So much for playing things safely. No, he couldn't even have the self-control to stay quiet. He always had to ruin everything.

But surprisingly, you didn't look angry. If anything you seemed just as confused as he felt, "What? I didn't-we didn't do anything! When did I say I wanted to do anything with Halsin? You were the one saying you didn't care!"

You weren't making any damn sense, "Well why else would you ask me about it?"

"I didn't!" You huffed, glaring at him, "All I was going to say was that he asked me. And I wanted your help on how to best turn him down! And then you jumped at the chance to push me onto someone else-"

"I did nothing of the sort!" Astarion seethed back, "If it was up to me you would never look at another man again! Or woman for that matter!"

It was an odd feeling, to be arguing while holding each other so closely. But Astarion had no intention of letting you go anytime soon, even if he could feel you squirming against his ironclad grip when you fumed at him, "Then why would you say it was okay?!"

"Because I don't want you to leave me!" He shouted back, loud enough to snap him out of his own anger. All of his fury was instantly replaced with fear. Gods, why had he felt the need to say that? To lay his biggest insecurity out on the line. Why not just hand you a stake while he was at it, since he was so eager to give you the tools to destroy him.

But you were still seething, hissing back at him, "Why praytell, would I leave the man I've been in love with for months? Hm? Please, explain it to me!"

Astarion couldn't. He was too busy being shell-shocked at the confession, feeling too many emotions at once. Joy, relief, somehow even more fear than before. You so freely said the words that he had done his damndest to bury, to ignore. But now they were out there, filling him with a horrifying joy.

He wanted to say it back. He did. But he couldn't get the wrecthed words out. Instead he was just staring at you like an imbeicle, his mouth hanging opening at the confession.

But his silence didn't make you falter. Instead you looked determined, near fierce as you grasped his face into your warm hands, "I love you Astarion. You don't have to say it back. That's not what this is about. But I want you. And only you. If you want the same of me then you must tell me. Now."

Astarion let his hands flutter over your wrists, humiliating tears prickling at his eyes. But at least his vocal chords allowed him to answer you this time, "I do. So much more than you know. I want us. Just us. No one else."

The words were flowing out of him, too fast and sincere for him to make the appropriate edits in his head. He was saying too much, feeling too much, giving too much. But the way your eyes brightened at his words, the way you grinned at him before pulling him in for a sweet kiss made it suddenly feel like he wasn't giving anything up at all.

As much as he loathed to admit it, Astarion was exceedingly grateful for Halsin's existence after that night. He would never have had the gall to demand you to himself without a trigger, without the anger you both shared at being misunderstood. Because now, you were his. His alone, the proclamation coming from your own lips. And he was free to stop hiding how much he had wanted it. How willing he was to do anything to keep it. He let himself off his own leash after that, leaning completely into the mutual ownership you had of each other. No more would he silently sit back and seethe as a stranger flirted with you. No, now he'd be upfront and center, with a possessive hand around your waist as he glared them down, more than prepared with a confidence-shattering quip on his tongue.

He started to let all of his urges seep through, taking full advantage of your willingness. If Wyll looked at you for too long at the fire, with a touch of something that Astarion didn't like in his eyes, he'd effortlessly pull you into his lap onlookers be damned as breathed you in. If Gale suddenly had a suspect offer to teach you some new magic in a secluded location, Astarion would invite himself, impervious to any glares sent his way. And when he felt as though all of them were being a bit too flirtaious, he was more than happy to put them in their places at night. Spending hours upon hours making you scream his name in bed from pleasure, loud enough for everyone to hear and know exactly who you belonged to.

He couldn't care less if it added to his own unpopularity amongst their merry-band of rejects. Their opinions didn't matter. Not when you were eating all of the sudden attention up.

You let him do it all because you understood him, in ways that no one else had bothered to before. You knew who he was, what he wanted, the extent to how much he craved your attention. And you let it all happened, reveled in it even. The intense shows of affection. Because you loved him. And he loved you. And one of these days he'd allow himself to admit the obvious.

But for now, he had what he wanted. What he needed. And in the first time in his life, even with disgusting tadpoles squirming his his brain, Astarion was actually...happy.

[devnmon]

bloodletting // a.a.

Summary: You're afraid of being judged when your time of the month comes, and Astarion being Astarion... is enthused.

Warnings: period oral, mentions of blood and menstruation!

wc: 2.2k

Astarion was always confident he could read you like a book. Though one certainly long day of adventuring passes by without you both speaking, and he's unsure why you're downright avoiding him.

He was confused, yet intrigued, by your attitude. Standoffish, pushing him away, generally the way you never acted, especially towards him.

That is, until he caught a whiff of you. It wasn't a different odor than he'd had the privilege of tasting before, just more potent.

More… fragrant.

Pheromones of yours wafting in the air, coming from one known source: you.

The vampire's thoughts wracked him as to what could've been throwing you off this much that you'd push him away this much. You'd consistently talk his ear off about anything crossing your mind.

And Astarion, the man he is, would always listen intently.

For you to spend your day glued to the girls' side all day raised some questions with him. Of course he understood if you were in need of space, but for you to not let him know at the very least-- well, he was a little puzzled.

But in fact it was when he found you crouched over, groaning in pain while washing your hands off in a stream. It was then he realized what you were cleaning your hands of.

"Well, well. Now I know why you've been avoiding me. Are you going to act like I can't smell you, darling? A vampire's senses are much stronger than a human's, don't you know?"

Freezing in your place, you turn to meet the smug face of one certain companion of yours catching you literally red-handed. A flush of heat rushed across your skin like wildfire, caught in his tantalizing gaze.

"You know, I don't mind it, if you know what I mean. That is why you've been avoiding me all day, correct?" His arms crossing over his broad chest said enough about how astonished he was with you hiding this from him. He didn't take kindly to being avoided, especially not if it was something so personal as this.

You stood a few feet away while attempting to collect yourself, clutching a used pair of undergarments in one hand.

"Astarion–" you began, failing to convince the dashing man before you of anything but what he already knew. Nothing that bad would have you tragically trying to hide it from him, of all people.

"No, no… don't even try to explain yourself." The smirk on his face was telling enough, low voice of his ringing out again, "You thought I'd, what, be drawn away from you? It's blood, darling."

"Of course not. I just… didn't know how you'd react. I've got terrible pains most days on our travels and I've had to beg our healer to cure me every day since it started. It's been so heavy that I've had to refresh myself way too often... which is exactly what I was doing when you found me here." You wrung your hands between one another, before the vampire stepped closer and took them into his.

"Love, you should know I would never judge you. If you needed a little relief, all you had to do was ask. It's what I'm here for, to ease your struggles. Make things alright when they're not." One of his hands moved a lock of hair out of your face and behind your ear before cupping your cheek with his palm.

Impulsively, you leaned into his touch, one you always chased every time Astarion lay his hands of velvet on you.

"Just knowing how you feel about it is a huge relief. I didn't know what to do or what to say to you... hence me being by the girls' side all day long. Just figured talking out how to tell you about it with them would help because I was nervous. And I wouldn't ask you to do something like that for me."

Astarion picked up on your cheeks reddening whilst you mentioned the idea of an act so intimate. He knew you weren't one for coming to him first about things to try in the bedroom; you'd rather let him take the lead and find out what you liked through that.

But this was about you being in pain, and if getting between your legs to quite literally suck you dry eased some of it, he'd gladly be first in line for that experience.

"What if I... offered? Does that change anything about the way you feel? Maybe it would give you some respite from those pains you've been complaining about. You know I can do things you can't get from a cleric, darling."

Your eyes widened a bit at his proposition, a strong heat beginning to stir inside you.

"A-Are you sure? I mean I know you're a vampire and all, but do you really mean that?"

"I'd ravish you every minute you'd allow me. This isn't any different. I crave you, in all ways. Your pleasure is mine, and I want to show you just how much I mean it." His thumb swiped across your cheek softly, to which you looked at him and nodded, watching his lips curl into a smirk.

Within the grasp of his other hand, he finds the soiled underwear still soaked with red. Luckily, his nimble rogue hands had taken the cloth before you could notice it was gone.

His lips pressed to your neck, ghosting kisses over your skin while listening in on your blood pumping. Chill kisses of his were much needed after rushing to clean yourself up.

The ruby eyes of your lover darkened with an inking of mischief, before he was guiding your body to lay down for him, placing a rag under your hips.

Your garments had been tossed off to the side, with Astarion's hands parting your thighs. He took a deep breath, the scent of you intoxicating him to another level. You could've sworn his eyes sparkled with desire before his head moved between your thighs.

Astarion dragged his tongue through your folds long and slow, parting easily with the amount of blood your body had already shed.

"Mmm… this is an experience I'll think about forever. The sheer act of you giving your body to me in such a way... Like a tying of souls, for infinity. Makes me love you even more. If that's possible." He spoke again, that accent of his making a hot blush cover your cheeks.

"No, please don't stop. Oh, gods- Astarion..." you breathed, running a hand through his curls and gripping tightly.

The vampire's tongue slid over your entrance this time, up through your folds and right over your sensitive bundle of nerves. You let out gasps of his name followed by moans when he begun to circle it with just the tip of his tongue. Astarion drank up every part of you more easily than he thought he could. He was infatuated.

Diving in deeper, he hooked your thighs around his shoulders, relishing in the taste of you further. You were trembling beneath him already, but he was able to wrap his biceps around them and hold you down.

Seeing him smitten with the taste of you while making his own sounds of pleasure from it sent you further into a haze of pleasure.

Astarion considered this the closest you two had ever been, like a binding of souls that lasted for eternity. He would gladly travel Avernus and back for you if given the chance.

His tongue traveled through your folds once again, stopping right over your entrance before sticking his tongue inside to lap up more of you.

"Oh, gods. You're good at that…" you whimpered, hips stuttering against the pale elf's grip. You're much more sensitive to his touches than when not on your cycle, the way your hips swayed, and your breasts swelled, it felt silly to think you didn't come to him sooner.

Once he came up for air, you caught the glimmer in his eye that noted his enjoyment of it all. Painted his face with you, a testament to how devoted he was entirely to you.

"So perfect, my love… I doubt anyone else's gotten the chance to have you like this. I'm the luckiest in all of Faerûn."

Astarion placed his hand on your lower torso, right above where your pubic line starts, and presses his palm firmly onto your abdomen.

Somehow your body melded to his in an instant, responding to his touch with another gush between your thighs.

It heightened your pleasure and though you knew he was drinking your blood, there were no words to describe how erotic it was seeing yours all over his mouth.

He controls his tongue's movements through you like it's breathing, flitting over your clit with fervent need to taste.

"Fuck... Astarion, please- ah! It hurts..." you whimpered, a cramp running through your body.

"Another one of your pains?" The pale elf inquired, the sudden loss of his mouth debilitating after all his stimulation. You nodded to him, attempting to hold back your sounds of discomfort.

"Let's see what we can do about that..." His mouth thankfully returned to your aching heat, the red of your blood messily lathered upon his face. Both his hands slide around your waist, thumbs rubbing soft circles into your lower abdomen.

Although Astarion's skin was naturally cool to the touch, the light blue glow from his palms was even cooler in the moment. Instantly your cramps disintegrated, thanks to the healing scrolls he kept on hand.

"Your touch is life changing, my star... What would I ever do without you?" you sigh, throwing your head back in relief when he lowered his head back down.

He chuckles before circling his tongue around your clit, causing you to tug on his hair again while your hips stutter underneath him. Astarion breathes you in with another inhale, the crimson taste on his tongue more decadent than he's ever had.

To hold you in his arms and find himself getting to worship at the temple that is your body, he was certain this was where he was meant to be.

With the way you sighed with content, he was sure the little healing spell he'd cast was in effect.

A blaring heat rushes through you when he prods a finger into your opening, watching as a bit of blood seeps onto his palm. Sensual moans of his vibrated against you, sucking lightly on your clit again in sync with the movements of his fingers.

It’s as though you feel the knot between you two loop together, freeing you in time and space where you lay from any contradictory feelings you had. About to squeeze your eyes shut, you hear Astarion’s voice in your mind.

Doing so well for me, gods, you taste exquisite…

You’re blushing furiously at the echoes of his silken voice, laid within his body mind and soul. Part of you still holds the shame that comes from within, combatting the thoughts that pull your mind away from him.

I admire you to the rings of saturn and back, no one else has such a hold over me like you.

Every move he makes is soft and doting, as if you would break lest he move too quick. Astarion’s words chip away at the highest wall of masked vulnerability you’d built up. It’s brief, the sheer embarrassment you’re utterly soaked in, before his words ring out in your head a final time.

I’m here. Let go, darling. You’re mine, evermore

His fingers continue to plunge inside you, thinking only of your pleasure as your body explodes for him. Astarion continues to work you through euphoria, as your back arches under him.

An ever so slight ache of need washes over your entire body, goosebumps rising on the soft skin.

“There you go, so good for me.” Astarion’s voice breaks the silence, the only other sound your panting breath and stream of water nearby.

Astarion knows he’s just orchestrated the most wonderful oblivion of sensuality and just cannot help himself.

Once more he runs his tongue through you, lingering taste of you on his tongue. He lifts himself from you, palms running softly over the skin of your thighs before helping you sit up.

His curls were nothing but a mess from your tugging, and even though you were the one given pleasure, he held the same blissed out glowy look you did.

“Thank you, Astarion. That was… like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’m truly the lucky one. How can I ever repay you…”

Before he even has a chance to clean himself up, you’re pulling him in for a kiss and tasting yourself on his lips. What you once considered cowardly and disgusting was now filled with love and devotion. Nothing would compare.

“Nevermind repaying me. You’ve all but let me suck you bloodless like so many nights before. I’ll be glowing by the time we wake tomorrow. Now, let’s get some rest. Shall we?”

Astarion begins to stand, holding out a hand for you to grasp as he pulls you to your feet.

“Is there anyone more perfect than you, Astarion?” you asked, sighing with satisfaction.

“I highly doubt it.” he snarked.

“Hm. Good, because you’re the keeper of my heart. All my love belongs to you.”

His hand brought one of yours to his lips, kissing it softly before interlocking his fingers with yours with a smile as the both of you walked back to camp.

[pacentia]

Title: Forever

Summary: After BG3 events, Astarion and reader feel ready for a child.

Pairing: established relationship fem!reader x Astarion

Tags: NSFW, rough sex, sweetness, breeding, mentions of pregnancy, bloodsucking, kissing, L-bombs

Word count: 1,704

Note: listen up folks. no idea if vampires thralls can make people pregnant. but in my world they can. Pls enjoy. i haven't finished the game, so this is my own fantasy after bg3 events:)). Drabble/fic/headcanon requests about our darling husband are welcome :))

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and eventually months into years, together with your darling Astarion. After the events of tadpoles, mindflayers and vampire masters, the time had come to settle down and live quietly, close to Baldur's gate city. Close enough for easy supply runs, yet far enough to enjoy the privacy of your very own house. Astarion was quick to realize he'd want no one else in his eternal life but you - and asked you - on one knee - to be his forever.

The wedding was held shortly after, with only a close circle of your friends present. Karlach shed a tear from happiness - knowing you two were destined to be together, while Halsin felt just… Bittersweet. Astarion wed a fine woman, although he was secretly convinced that an Druid like himself: alive, warm, and aging could take better care of your needs.

This was often also the subject of certain discussions that popped up in your marriage as you were reading in the garden, or drinking hot tea beside the hearthfire. Worries that washed over him about the coldness of his touch - or the eventual loss he would have to endure somewhere in the far future, when you would eventually lose the battle against time. You understood where his worries came from, but you were always there to comfort your darling husband. You possessed no interest in anyone's touch but his and you pledged to him that you'd always be present in his undead heart.

Of course, the latter made you interested in if his vampirism could be cured or, if you could transform into one. Yet, both choices were frustratingly impossible. Curing him would just mean ending him, heaven's forbid. Transforming yourself would mean serving another vampire lord, a fate that Astarion would never want you to experience.

Though tonight - nothing of that sort mattered and you found yourself intertwined in one another, the soft duvet covering your bare bodies. Your fingers played with his light-grey curls, while his arms were wrapped around your shoulders, ready for bed.

"Say, love," Astarion suddenly spoke up, "I heard you took care of a lost little girl in the city today."

Right. A young Tiefling girl had lost her mother inbetween the packed crowds of the city, and the girl came to you for help. How exactly did Astarion know that?

"Karlach told me of course." The vampire stated as a matter of fact. "She saw you and passed by this noon for tea." You nodded and explained the situation - how you held the little girl's hand right until you found her mother together. The woman thanked you over and over again.

A small silence fell between you two, until the man continued his stream of thoughts, "Karlach then asked me if we'd ever have children and I said that I didn't know what you would think of it and I -" Astarion's gaze avoided yours until he remembered he was probably rambling again, "Sorry love, I just wanted to know if you and I could have that sort of future together?"

Your heart fluttered at the thought of Astarion as a father. He'd definitely spoil his little ones and love them unconditionally.

"A little one to raise in our house." The pale man smiled, lost in his thoughts. "We already have a spare room that we could decorate for them."

Of course those thoughts had crossed your mind. It would be a new chapter in both of your lives, and you felt ready to take it on together with him. Behind his cheeky and often sarcastic banter, there was a sweet and caring man - only revealed to the closest ones he trusted.

"You know they'll be incredibly mischievous and stubborn, right?" You smirked up at him, to which the vampire quickly retaliated, "Darling, you wound me. Besides, that's why you're there to teach them kindness." Astarion sing-songed, nuzzling into your hair.

No hesitation was present in your words, '"Of course, Astarion. I want this with you." You smiled sweetly, gently guiding his cold digits over your belly, making your vampire husband rub it with such fondness.

Something within him stirred, yet another level of deeper protectiveness that he would soon feel over you. Any other man that would come too close to you, would feel his deadly fangs buried into their jugular. Rip them to shreds. Kill them in cold blood. In fact, it made him involuntarily bare his fangs to you, accompanied by a low growl reverberating in his chest.

You grinned at his primal reaction, and whispered as you caressed his chin, "Dear Sir, you know you can't drink anything from me when you've put your little one in me, right?"

He was taken by a frenzy, and rolled his heavy body over yours - his nose buried into your neck, inhaling the delicious smell of your perfect blood. His cock hardened at the thought of drinking from you, his icy tongue lapping over the countless bite marks that he'd decorated your neck with.

"I know, sweet love. Sadly, I'll have to return to …inferior blood." An adorable pout covered his beautiful features - which made your heart flutter.

"You should get to work then, my love." You whispered in his pointy ear, pressing small kisses along his cheekbone, and you wrapped your legs around his strong back. The vampire chuckled at your words, "Oh, darling." He groaned, elated to see you so eager to get bred by him. His hardness teased over your wet and warm folds, making himself slick before he'd slide home. His arms snaked under yours, to completely wrap himself around you protectively, burying his face into your neck. The intoxicating smell of your blood so close to his lips, made him lose control over his pace and bucked his strong core into yours, drenched cock sliding deep in your sex.

"Fuck, Astarion…" You gasped in pleasure, his large cock burying itself deep deep deep within your folds. The vampire watched your features contort into pure bliss, and bit his lips in return - until he was nestled as deep as possible.

"This is what you want, isn't it, my darling?" Astarion whispered, while you clawed at his back - sweet agony from his pressure on your cervix. His way with words was too much to bear. Icy lips found your ear again, dripping with sin, "Completely inside your warm, wet, delicious cunt."

You could only whimper Astarion and nod, your fingers buried in his soft curls, as his hips started to gently, slowly thrust inside you. His cock felt so perfect. Big, firm, as if he was carved just for you.

"Fuck, darling," Your husband growled, losing himself deep inside you, speeding up his pace, shifting his position so that he could hold onto your hips for leverage. His red eyes feasted on your body, the most beautiful creature he'd ever set his gaze on. He could hear your heart beating faster. Blood pumping through your veins. Cheeks flushed red. He was salivating for you.

"Please, Astarion…" You cried out in delicious agony, needy for him to grab and fuck you harder. Impregnate you. Show Faerûn that you completely belong to him.

"What is it, my love?" He growled with bared teeth, sounds of wet, sloppy thrusts filling the bedroom.

"Bite me once more." You begged, holding onto his strong shoulders, "Just one last time, please."

Yes. One more time he could have you. His sanguine hunger kicked in, and he couldn't restrain himself anymore, "Oh my, darling…" He moaned In relief, his thrusts never faltering, thanking you over and over again for your gift - until he set his fangs in your neck.

One last time that sharp, ice-cold feeling washed over your senses - unable to move or do anything. Delicious pain mixed with heavenly pleasure, both of your orgasms were nearing. No combination more delicious for your husband - your fresh blood spilling from his lips and your cunt wrapped tightly around him. Pleasure welled up inside of your belly, enduring your vampire's violent kiss - until you reached your peak while he drank from your neck.

His digits dug into the sheets, pupils dilated as he released from your neck in time, overcome with adrenaline and power.

"That's it, my darling…"

His thrusts became harder, faster - his bloody lips finding yours, tongue invading your mouth. You were absolutely spent already, having lost nearly two pints of your blood again - so you held onto him for dear life. The metallic taste of your blood made you nearly gag if he wasn't lapping it up off your lips like a hungered animal.

"Astarion, fuck… Make me fucking pregnant." You cried desperately against his lips, his big cock bumping against your cervix with each thrust. And like always, he delivered your plea - and with a deep and primal groan he reached his peak. "Fuck, oh - Fuck - darling!" He growled with bloody fangs, his crimson eyes rolling in the back of his head, jets of his release splattering right against your cervix. Filled up to the brim.

Sated with blood and pleasure, he collapsed on top of you, holding you dearly in the afterglow of your pleasure. Sweaty, bloody bodies pressed against each other. His face buried against the side of your neck, lapping remnants of your blood one last time.

"Can't get enough of it, can't you, sweet?" You grinned.

"Never, my love." He smiled against your flesh as his cold hand gently caressed your lower belly - hoping that his love would nestle itself deep inside of you tonight.

"I love you, Astarion."

"And I love you, my darling. Forever."

[nightcolorz]

I would love to hear your thoughts on autistic Armand, if you haven’t already spoke about this! Imo he’s very autsitic coded, and it’s very precious to me as an autistic iwtv fan :]

OMG!!! RUNS AROUND. Yes lmao I talk about this a lot actually it is one of my favorite Armand things to meta about bcus I’m also autistic and he is my special interest🙏I was trying to find some of the stuff I’ve written about autistic Armand but tumblrs search engine makes it near impossible to find anything so I gave up 😭, but believe me they r out there. Even tho I talk about this a lot I would love love love to talk about it some more for u anon because I can never get enough of armandtism.

I first figured Armand was autistic when I was reading the vampire Lestat because when he is first introduced he is completely non verbal and only communicates through the mind gift. through further explanation it’s very much implied that he does this because he finds putting his thoughts into words hard and he considers just projecting them into peoples brains much easier. Armand speaks out loud for the first time like more than halfway through the book, and lestat is surprised to hear him lol. This is super autistic I feel like that’s obvious 🙏 it’s basically the vampire power equivalent of using a non verbal communication device. Armand having trouble with connecting with people, understanding how to “fit in”, and talking r prevailing parts of his character throughout the whole series (not just tvl) which solidified my headcanon into basically a canon fact in my mind lol.

When Armand is first introduced in iwtv his strangeness is chalked up to his vampirism, but it’s soon revealed throughout tvl and qotd that Armand is considered a strange outcast by other vampires. The things he struggles with r unique to him and r not representative of vampires in general. His otherness/strangeness can also not be chalked up to his trauma or his age turned because Armand was also an outcast as a young child. It’s described in the vampire Armand that Armand was not understood by his parents or his community because he was obsessed with and freakishly good at painting. His community interprets his unusualness as a sign of some divine intervention, the priests believe he is a saint or a prophet sent to earth, even at times saying things implying that he is “not human”. Unusually high quickly developing skill in childhood is an autistic trait, as is hyper fixation on an activity/topic that becomes a core identity factor and prevailing obsession. The affects of Armand’s trauma only worsen the severity of his autistic traits. C-ptsd and autism often overlap and coexist in autistic people who were traumatized in childhood, which seems to be Armand’s case.

in queen of the damned Armand is at his peak autistic lol, I feel like this is when most book readers gain that head canon. The Devils minion chapter revolves around Armand using Daniel as a guide to help him learn how to be “normal” and to blend in to the modern age. Armand can’t seem to figure out how to blend in on his own because he is unable to understand social norms of any time period enough to integrate himself into society. Armand is in love with technology and what most would consider monotonous sensory experiences. He stares at his own reflection for hours, he loves kitchen appliances and watching ingredients whir in blenders, cameras, he watches the same movie over and over again and never gets bored of it. The way Armand fixates on technology really reminds me of how a lot of autistic people played as children. He enjoys repetitive, sensory behaviors over “fun”. For Armand this means watching the same things repeatedly, which is a form of visual stimming. There r moments where Armand is trying to understand his world, but is so blind to what he is trying to understand that he goes about his discoveries wrong. Such as in qotd when he tries to interrogate strangers to gain information on societal norms but he only gets uncomfortable glances. Armand is desperate to understand and to connect but he is consistently inherently alienated, whether it be from humanity or from other vampires or from himself.

Armand also can not process his memories comprehendingly. This is part trauma part autism, but autism is def a factor. Because of his repressed trauma induced memory loss Armand finds it difficult to talk about himself to people. This is worsened by Armand being unable to comprehend the aspects of story telling that he needs to be able to tell people about his life. Armand explains to Daniel that he vividly remembers small details, such as dates and weather, but he could not tell Daniel what “things were like” because he “doesn’t know what that means”. Literal thinking, the inability to grasp vague, fiction based concepts like narratives and metaphor, and strict fixation on minor details like numbers, are all autistic traits!

Armand also struggles heavily with emotional regulation. He is described as often having intense and extreme meltdowns where he cries and screams and breaks things. Armand is easily bothered, in tva he mentions that he covers his ears when he is overwhelmed. The vampire Armand begins actually with Armand becoming overwhelmed in public and trying to escape to an attic so that he can be alone in silence. Armand copes with his intense emotions by putting on a mask of neutrality. He is often described as expressionless and blank, uncanny. But this is a mask, and when Armand can no longer mask and his disguise lapses his facial expressions r described by lestat as being so over the top and emotional that they are disturbing and weird. Over the top unnatural facial expressions as well as blank unreadable ones are both autistic traits. For Armand he is naturally overly emotive to the point of being considered horrifying, and he hides this by taking the opposite extreme. Either way, either expression Armand puts on causes him to be socially outcast.

Armand often describes feeling like there is something wrong with him that causes him to be isolated from others and he’s not sure what it is. In prince lestat he tells Gregory that he doesn’t know why it’s so hard for him to have relationships when other vampires are fully capable of doing that. In the vampire Armand he explains to David that he’s crazy because his mind isn’t built right and his senses are tripled so he shouldn’t bother trying to understand him. I rlly relate to this as someone who felt like I was from another dimension as a child bcus i didn’t know the unspoken life rules everyone else did.

Armand is often treated like a child by the other vampires and assumed to be emotionally immature and too fragile and insane to be helpful. Armand says in the vampire Armand that he doesn’t consider himself an adult because he can’t function like one. This could be due to the age he was turned, but it’s shown to us that characters like Benji and even to an extent Claudia r able to self regulate and function appropriately despite being turned even younger then Armand was.

in conclusion, book Armand is an autistic person who was never given proper support or understanding because the environment and the time period he was born in decided to alienate him further rather then work to help him socialize and learn appropriate skills, and because of the necessities he has been deprived of and the horrible trauma he endured Armand is never able to learn to function in the way he was likely capable of. this recessive quality in pair with his autism caused Armand it be unable to cope or self regulate or learn ways to understand himself since he wasn’t given a chance to in his formative years. He’s a great representative of what many autistic people who experienced intense child abuse experience.

Im rlly happy with the shows portrayal with Armand so far partly because he is omg, so autistic. Show Armand shares so many of book Armand’s autistic traits. inability to understand himself or others, fixation on small details but inability to understand the big picture, etc. even his iPad is autistic asf! My ipad is my comfort item that I carry around with me to self sooth, and this is def the vibe Armand’s iPad gives me in the show. Even assads performance is autistic! He is able to play Armand masking and Armand unmasking, the stilted expressions he gives and the blank stares, the uncomprehending earnestness. AGHHHH!! Assad stims with his fingers when Armand is nervous too which is just an amazing touch. I hope the show explores Armand’s autism, because that would literally be a dream come true. Even still, for now I’m satisfied.

thank u so so much anon for the ask this made me so happy 🙏❤️ autistic Armand means so much to me and has gotten me though some tough times. Understanding and analyzing Armand helps me understand myself better and feel more comfortable with how I am. Earlier this year I gave myself a concussion because I was harmfully stimming during a meltdown, and while I was in the emergency room I was holding the vampire Armand and imaging that he would relate to what I was going through. So yeah he is very special to me too! And once again it makes me so so happy that u got me to talk some about it. I hope this was coherent or interesting lol I felt like I was all over the place

[ceriphea]

A Starry Night

Summary: A perfectly clear night left you to reminisce your time with Astarion. Allowing him to explore his own boundaries, he's finally made the plans to spend a night full of pleasure and joy out of his own free will with you.

Pairing: Astarion x Fem!Tav(Reader)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Smut, little plot, oral sex, graphic language

Words: 4065

Additional: I may have just created a whole new side tumblr and satisfied my urge to write this down despite not long ago saying I wouldn't be writing anymore. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the read! I aimed to keep from descriptions of Tav so you could picture your own as best as possible. :)

Read on Ao3

The night was quiet. Much quieter than usual. Quieter anyway since Lae’zel and Shadowheart decided to put peace on their bickering and allow another to live in each other’s presence. Most of the camp had been resting as it was your turn to keep watch for the night. 

Not that there was much to look out for. If you don’t count random appearances of Mizora or vampire spawns. Most nights went by peacefully at this point. The only thing possibly interrupting a good night's rest were dunkards stumbling by the little camp your group had settled down in. 

Your eyes were settled on the sky, clear as ever. Every single star was visible to your eyes and it brought a small smile across your lips. It reminded you of your first night with Astarion. 

The two of you had started out as a fling. Something to make your situation a little more passable. After all, who didn’t enjoy good sex? However as time progressed and the more nights the two of you had spent together, the more the simple fun of having sex turned into feelings for another. It came easier for you than for the vampire. 

Astarion was troubled, damaged from the years of torture and pain he had endured. The closer you became, the more you learned about his trauma. And that was how you learned that Astarion had not enjoyed himself during sex for a long time. Your initial reaction was hurt. Mainly because of your own trauma that you carry with yourself as well as the fact that you’d like to think you’d do well enough to please your partners. Though after the initial reaction you understood. For him sex had always been a technique for his victims. A mere measure to bait people into aiding to his will. And he did in fact enjoy what you two had just the drive was not what it was meant to be. 

It was then, when you established your relationship with Astarion, showing him you cared about him beyond sex, that you told Astarion you wouldn’t have sex until he felt ready for enjoying it for the act that it is between two people that like each other. Not because he felt like he needed to just for the sake of it. To get an advantage out of it.

There were many times he had tried getting it on with you when you offered him your neck. He tried because he felt like he owed you for allowing him to drink off of you. However each time you turned him down for him to underline your point and make him understand he didn’t need to do something just to pay you back. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to have sex with him, you loved having him since he had been your best partner. You just wanted him to stop feeling like he was forced to have sex with no real meaning to him.

He understood after a while and now it had been a good amount of time since the last time you slept together. You couldn’t even recall how long exactly. Not that your mind was allowed to drift any further as the elf in question settled down to sit beside you.

“Pardon me, my love but I felt like my presence was required here,” Astarion said playfully, his red orbs gazing at you intently. Some of your thoughts must have slipped through to him thanks to that worm inside of your head. There was never any telling which thoughts you’d get to keep to yourself and which would be transferred over your illithid connection.

“Oh, did you now?” you inquired with a quirked brow aimed at him, trying to play it off like you haven’t been thinking all about him.

“Your thoughts are louder than you think, darling. It’s a surprise you haven’t woken up anyone else. Or perhaps they are now having sweet dreams about me,” he shrugged with a smirk, not once did his eyes leave yours. A slight blush crept upon your cheeks, fearing he heard more than you had expected. Not that it was anything to be ashamed of really but still, sometimes you liked to keep your thoughts to yourself.

“You wish,” scoffing, you rolled your eyes and let your eyes drift back to the sky again. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Astarion standing back up, his hand coming into your sight, an offer to help you up. “Come, I’d like to show you something.”

Once again your eyes met his before darting to his hand and back to his eyes. You were meant to keep watch and not exactly meant to go away from your post. And if you went with Astarion it could range anything from a few minutes to hours. As if he read your mind once again, the pale elf clicked his tongue and almost pushed his hand into your face.

“Come, no one is going to die. We’ll only be gone… shortly.” You knew he was full of shit but there was nothing else you could say against him. Finally placing your hand in his, Astarion pulled you to your feet. Instead of letting you go however, he pulled you in flush against him and pressed a peck to your lips. “There you go, now come on.” 

Letting go of your hand, the vampire then started leading the way away from camp. It wasn’t exactly far but far enough to barely see the campfire flickering. The air here was slightly clearer, the streets now empty. It was rather late at night, anyone awake at this time was either at a tavern or in their homes. 

“So where exactly are you taking me?” you asked, following your lover along. “If I tell you that would ruin the surprise. Now shush, we’re almost there.” A low chuckle escaped his throat. It was not exactly strange for him to have this sort of behavior, however something about him on this particular night just told you that he had something up his sleeve. 

A minute or two later the two of you had arrived at a house, empty by the looks of it but kept well in shape. Astarions slight fingers worked on the lock before opening up the door and inviting you in as if it was his very own house. Did you just let him break into a random home without any complaint? Yes, you did. In many views the two of you had shared your perspectives and breaking into places was a common ground. Whether the group needed loot or your information was in it. 

You figured that Astarion perhaps found some hidden treasure in here and wanted to reserve it for just you and him. It wouldn’t be the first time he had chosen to keep some valuables from the group in order to fend for you and him. But once you had entered the house, the elf swiftly moved behind you and chose to cover your eyes with his hands. You could feel his mouth near your ear by his warm breath first before he whispered, “Now walk as I tell you and keep those pretty eyes closed until I tell you to open them.”

Something about the way he spoke sent a tingle through your stomach and into your core. Perhaps it was a bit of deprivation of intimacy that made any sensual act like this even more exciting to you. 

You trusted him with every single step, letting him guide you through the house that couldn’t be any quieter. Standing still for a moment, you heard him opening another door before your path continued shortly before you came to a final stop. “Open your eyes, my love,” his last words drew out in a seductive tone while his hands removed from your eyes. Opening them, you blinked a few times to adjust to the lighting in the room which was merely the night sky and the moon shining in through a wide set of windows. 

Before you displayed a master bedroom, decorated neatly with a bed bigger than you’ve seen in the past few years of your adventures. This wasn’t just some treasure he had found, this was more. And the thought of it alone sent a contraction of urgency through your core, leaving a damp feeling in your pants. Oh, how weak you were. You didn’t dare speak, still taking in the room as Astarion came into view, a knowing smirk plastered on his face.

“What do you think, dear?” his voice was merely above a whisper while his eyes burned into yours. Slowly Astarion inched closer, close enough to wrap one of his arms around your lower back, pulling you flush against his chest. Even if you wouldn’t say anything, your hardened nipples pressing through your thin linen shirt against his chest would tell him everything.

“Who have you bribed to get in here?” you teased, not wanting to give into him too quickly. He knew how much you wanted him, you didn’t need to tell him. 

“There was this drunk dwarf tumbling through the streets. I may have convinced him that this is in fact not his home. And by the looks of it, it may very well not be. Not for tonight anyway,” of course Astarion had to respond in a snarky manner just before his voice turned seductive again. You knew where this was going. And this time around, you weren’t going to stop him. All his last attempts had been whenever it wasn’t really convenient, mostly out in the open. This time he had taken the effort to find a nice and comfortable bed, a place of warmth. 

“But you and I both know we aren’t here to talk about such unimportant matters. Rather we are here because I want to devour you,” he started, his voice dangerously low while his eyes darkened in desire, “I want to love on you. Every single inch of you.”

He had barely touched you and yet your cunt was getting drenched in arousal by the second. It had been a while since Astarion voiced his desires for you in this way and oh, it was a turn on. The room immediately felt a dozen degrees hotter as your lips crashed against Astarions, moving in a passionate pattern while his hand that was initially resting along your waist from being wrapped around you, moved down to cup your ass. One of your hands slid up his chest and further up until it was settled on the back of his head, grasping a handful of his hair while the vampire deepened the kiss. A small moan escaped your lips when the hand on your ass gave you a firm squeeze. You were almost sure that were his fingers to wander further inward and to your core, he could feel your wetness through your linen pants.

Though instead of wandering to your core, his hand wandered to the back of your thigh, his other hand joining on the other thigh before he picked you up. Both your legs immediately wrapped around his waist. Within a few quick strides Astarion carried you over to the bed and more or less dropped you onto the soft sheets. 

Once more your lips met in a matter of passion and lust while the vampires hands now made their way to explore your body, tugging at your shirt in order to remove your clothing from your body. You were just about to interrupt the kiss and stop his wandering hands for a moment in order to ask him if he was certain this was what he wanted. That’s when your tadpoles connected and he let you know that this was something he wanted out of his own free will. Something he wanted to enjoy. 

And therefore you only deepened the kiss, allowing your own hands to wander his body now, tugging at his very own shirt and pulling it over his head. Astarion used that moment to remove your shirt as well just before his mouth latched back onto you. This time however his lips met your collarbone, actively leaving out your neck. He did his best kissing your skin and nibbling at you without letting his teeth graze your skin. Your eyes closed as the vampire moved to devour you just as he had announced before. 

Starting at your collarbone, his lips traveled down towards your breasts. While his hands cupped your round mounds, his tongue darted out tracing a wet line from the top of your breast to your hardened nipple and around it before his lips closed down on the sensitive nub providing it with a short sense of suction before letting his normal teeth tease for a moment. Then he moved on to do the exact same thing to your other breast. You couldn’t help but moan in pleasure, indecisive whether you wanted to close your eyes and simply enjoy the feeling or whether you wanted to watch him with his intense stare on you, aching to give you the pleasure he feels you deserve. 

The choice came easy as your eyes automatically closed the second his lips started traveling further south past your navel and to the hem of your pants. Elegant fingers slipped right beneath the hem, taking your underwear with them as Astarion removed your pants in one go, leaving you entirely bare in front of him. 

Only now that a slight breeze of air met your core, you realized just how wet you were. It was a surprise you hadn’t completely drenched your pants between your legs. Taking one of your ankles in hand, Astarion began peppering kisses all along the inside of your leg, positioning your leg angled on the bed and letting his lips travel until he almost met your core. Then he moved onto the other leg, once again mirroring the exact same motions which now had you with your legs spread and Astarions head lingering right in front of your raging hot core. “I want you to look at me while I feast on that delicious cunt of yours,” his voice was even lower now, arousal and hunger clouding his own senses while his hot breath fanned against your wetness. Just as he ordered you opened your eyes and glanced down at the elf between your legs. He looked like he had been starving for weeks and had the first real meal in front of him. And just like that he settled in and wrapped his arms around your thighs to hold you in place as his tongue darted out between your folds, licking a long stripe up to your pulsating clit. 

Once there his tongue ran slow circles around it. Once, twice and then his lips closed around the sensitive nub. He varied the pressure of his suction, earning several moans from you while it became increasingly more difficult not to roll your eyes into the back of your head and crumble under the pleasure you were feeling. Eventually he released your clit only to drag his tongue back through your folds, working you in all your favorite patterns. It didn’t take particularly long until you could feel your orgasm building up, blame it on the amount of time it had been since the two of you had sex. 

Astarion could tell you were getting close, his thumb finding your clit to rub circles on it while his tongue kept swirling around your folds as well as penetrating your core to pleasure those sweet spots inside of you. Without warning your vision blurred while your insides contracted, attempting to clench around a cock yet being left empty while your orgasm rushed through you. 

The vampire consumed every drop of your cum, working you through your orgasm until your hips stopped twitching. Your chest was heaving from your previous release, eyes once again meeting Astarion when he slowly withdrew himself from you if only to get rid of the rest of his clothing. His erection was standing tall and proud, precum smeared all across his tip. You licked your lips at the view. He moved in closer until he was leaning above you, almost getting into position. However you wanted to return the favor as much as you were dying to feel him inside of you. Your first thought was to just toss him over and take the upper hand, however this was all about giving him the choice. So you opted to give him the choice once more. 

Before he had lined himself up at your entrance, you covered yourself with a hand and gazed straight into his eyes as he met yours with confusion. “May I suck you off?” 

To others it may have seemed like a stupid thing to ask, however you wanted him to know he had all the freedom in the world to choose what he wanted. Astarion remained confused for a second or two more before capturing himself and nodding. “Of course darling, I’d love nothing more than to feel those sweet and luscious lips around my cock.”

His voice was almost like a purr as he removed himself from above you and settled down on the bed, leaned up against the headpost while you scrambled up to position yourself between his legs. Your core was still pulsating from your release or was it the need of being filled by that long and thick shaft that stood tall and proud in front of your face? 

One soft hand wrapped around his shaft, giving it a pump or two as your lips traced kisses along his thighs until they settled at his balls, traveling up the length of him slowly until you reached his tip. Your hand settled at the base of his shaft, holding him in place now while your tongue slowly swirled around his tip, earning low moans from the vampire. You could tell he was less used to this sort of act as his eyes darted between arousal and uncertainty. With help of your tadpole you let him know that he was allowed to stop you whenever he felt like he needed to. 

Your lips wrapped around his tip all the while your tongue still swirled around him. Keeping the pace slow, you slowly started taking him more into your mouth, relaxing your throat in order to take him as much as your body would allow. His breath hitched within his throat, chest heaving with pleasure while his eyes never left yours. Picking up the pace, your head started bobbing along his length, using the hand at the base of his cock to stroke whatever you couldn’t fit into your mouth. 

It wasn’t long however until Astarion gently pulled you off of his cock by your hair. His eyes had an apologetic touch within them before he spoke. “I need to have you, my love,” he spoke in an urgency. You understood and you wanted him to be in full control. “And I need you,” you responded with a gentle smile as you leaned up to capture his lips with yours. Your release still lingered on his lips, shooting another wave of heat right through to your core. 

Astarion didn’t waste time deepening the kiss, easily spinning the two of you around in order to have you pinned beneath him again. With ease he settled between your legs, allowing his length to slide along your wetness a couple of times before reaching between you in order to line himself up with your entrance. 

With one long push the vampire filled you with his entire length, stretching your insides deliciously. A gasp left your mouth at the fullness you had missed all this time. Astarion couldn’t keep himself from letting out a shaky breath either. He remained still within you for a moment or two, simply relishing in the feeling of your insides contracting around him over and over as your insides adjusted to the feeling of him inside of you.

“Please, fuck me…” you whispered against his lips, unable to take the stillness of him inside you any longer. Without any further notice, he withdrew himself almost entirely from you only to slide his entire length into you again. He kept on repeating the motion until he had picked up a moderate pace, each thrust earning a moan from you. You could tell it was different. Astarion had always been a rough lover. Fast and hard thrusts were his thing. Just a small glimpse at his face told you the whole story. Of how he was taking it slow in order to find his pleasure, his desire for this. His lips were kissing along your collarbone again, moving up to your neck until he hesitated.

Noticing the hesitation, your hand came up to the back of his head, bringing him in closer to your neck. You knew exactly what he was getting at. Or why he was hesitating. “Do it,” you moaned softly with his next thrust and that was all the confirmation he needed. His teeth immediately dug into the soft skin of your neck, the stinging pain feeling yet so pleasurable. 

As he was drinking from you, Astarion had picked up his pace, his thrusts becoming rougher and quicker. At this point he barely pulled even halfway out before his cock slammed back into you, brushing past all the good spots. Your moans picked up in volume, the mixed feeling of your cunt being pounded while your neck was being fed on combined an amount of pleasure you couldn’t even describe. 

Astarion felt it too, the pleasure of the entire situation, how tasting your blood made his cock turn indefinitely harder, how your cunt clenched and your thighs quivered with each of his thrusts. And he knew that all of this was because he wanted it. Not because he had to gain advantage for something or to manipulate someone. He released your throat for a moment, the blood running down your neck and dripping onto the pillow beneath you, if only to moan out your name, “Tav..” he grunted, knowing his release was near. Slyly lifting your legs a little over his waist, you caused his cock to change the angle within you, brushing right past your g-spot and close to hitting your cervix with every thrust.

“Astarion..” you moaned in return, feeling your own release coming in closer. His head lifted from your neck, wanting to see your face and he hooked his arms underneath your knees and essentially lifted you up higher as his hips pounded against you. The sound of skin slapping against skin as well as both of your moans echoed throughout the room. It only took one more thrust and you were sent over the edge. Your thighs quivered against his hold, hips twitching and insides clenching wildly as your second orgasm of the night rushed through you. It felt like you lost control over your body as you were not able to control a single movement.

Seeing your pleasure filled self, Astarion pushed himself deep inside of you, his body coming to rest flush against you as his release emptied all the way inside you, his own hips stuttering with just how much he came. 

Once he emptied himself entirely and both your bodies calmed from the intensity of your orgasms, he pulled his member out and settled on the non-bloody side of the bed, pulling you into his tight embrace.

“That was marvelous, darling…” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, not minding the blood remaining at the corners of his mouth. “Thank you.”

His voice was sincere and you knew this was it. He found his control. His own will. The one thing you had been working on with him. “Not for this, my beloved.” You countered softly, finding his lips for a kiss. You stopped caring for the taste of blood a long time ago. 

The two of you had laid together, calming from your highs for a while longer. However this was not the end of the night just yet. You lost count of just how many times the two of you had sex that night. All you knew was that your shift of staying guard for the camp was long forgotten.

[steddieas-shegoes]

hi! i love your works so much and i have a request ^^ i wanted to ask if you could do a jealous and/or possessive eddie? maybe where steve and eddie are super close to finally admitting they like each other and just need one more push or something, or they're just newly dating. they're both at a gay bar, and steve's been receiving lots of stares and heated gazes from some of the ppl there? maybe a person was brave enough to try but eddie's right beside him watching the entire interaction.

i've come across a fair share amount of jealous/possessive steve in steddie stories and i wanted to see it being eddie for a change. tysm in advance and i can't wait to read the other requests with your amazing writing <3

I LOVE possessive Eddie!!! I really only see it in Kas!Eddie or vampire Eddie situations and I wish it was written more for just regular old human Eddie who just has entirely too much love for Steve to contain his emotions when someone else tries to make a move. I hope you like this little thing (2500 words!) I came up with and the other requests I've been putting out so far! - Mickala ❤️

---------------------------------------------------------

Robin convinced them she needed support.

Support Steve’s ass.

She was doing just fine from the moment they stepped in the door of this place.

So fine, in fact, she’d abandoned him and Eddie before they even got their first round of drinks brought to them.

Steve sat at the table with Eddie, awkwardly watching as people kept dancing and drinking and making out in dark corners of the bar.

He tried not to look too much, though. He didn’t want anyone to think he wasn’t comfortable here.

Quite the opposite, actually.

He’d been here a couple of times with just Robin: once before he figured out he was into men, once before he figured out he was into Eddie, and once more before this where he tried very hard to be into Eddie and failed.

But Eddie had insisted on coming when he overheard them talking about it, saying he hadn’t been here since high school and could use a night in a place where he could just be himself.

As if he wasn’t always obnoxiously (and beautifully) himself.

Robin had given Eddie a Look, but nodded in agreement, saying it would be awesome to have both her favorite guys there.

Which rubbed Steve a little wrong because he was her only favorite guy.

But he got over it because now Eddie was his only company, probably for the entire night going off of the way the girl with Robin was staring at her.

Ogling her.

Steve sighed. Eddie sighed.

They looked at each other and laughed.

“She do this to you every time?”

“No, usually we stick together. Must feel brave since you’re here with me.”

“Awww, she trusts me.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but there was probably more truth to that than he cared to admit.

Robin was often afraid to leave him alone, but she never hesitated if Eddie was with him.

He felt people staring at him, but he ignored it. He wasn’t here to find anyone and it would be silly to even try knowing that Eddie was right there.

But he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel good to have people checking him out. He used to thrive on it in high school, feeling seen by anyone was better than being seen by no one.

Then, he hated it. He wanted to be invisible and he wanted everyone to focus on anyone and anything else in the room. He got his wish most of the time.

Until Eddie.

Eddie always included him in everything, pointing out when he was being quiet or moody, asking him questions to involve him in conversations, making sure he understood what Dustin was saying which was a challenge often.

He would touch his arm when he passed by him on the way to grab a drink from the kitchen or let their thighs touch on the couch on movie nights.

He let him come over after work on the nights he was too riled up, needing to let out some of his energy with a walk, but being too scared to do it alone.

So Eddie saw him, and made others see him, and he didn’t always love it, but he accepted it.

Tonight felt different, though.

All these eyes on him meant that people found him attractive, maybe wanted to dance with him or bring him home. If Eddie weren’t here, he’d maybe give it a shot with someone, try to find a way out of this hole he dug himself into with the first guy he’d admitted to himself he had feelings for.

But he also felt Eddie’s eyes on him, practically burning a hole through the side of his face every time he looked out at the crowd.

He felt heat crawling up his neck, to his cheeks.

Having all of Eddie’s attention was a lot for anyone, but especially Steve, who frequently thought about what it would be like to have Eddie’s attention on him in bed, or in the shower, or on the couch, or the pool, or-

“Did you want another drink?”

Steve looked down at the drink in his hand. He’d barely finished half of it, so he didn’t really know why Eddie was asking unless he just needed an excuse to get up.

“Um. No thanks. Probably should just have one anyway.”

“Sure.”

Eddie got up with his empty glass and started walking towards the bar.

Almost as soon as Eddie was gone, a taller man in a suit was taking his place at the table.

“Well, hi there, honey. Never seen you here before. First time?”

The guy was older, mid-thirties at least, and probably not the type of guy Steve would want to experiment with. But he was flirting, and he was kind of cute.

Steve could let himself enjoy a little casual flirting, right? It wouldn’t have to lead to anything.

“No, but I don’t come often.”

Steve rested his arms on the table, head in his hand. He grinned at the man, that Harrington charm practically beaming off of him.

“You could come tonight if you wanted to join me in the back.”

That was smooth. Sleazy, but smooth.

Steve didn’t drop his grin, but he shook his head.

“I don’t think I’m interested in just hooking up in the bathroom. Maybe you could buy me a drink?”

He had no intention of drinking another drink, but he figured this guy would lose interest if he showed he was more needy.

He was wrong.

The guy practically tripped over his feet to stand up from the booth.

“What would you like?”

“Oh. Uh.”

“He’s good, man. How about you go buy a drink for someone interested?”

Eddie came out of nowhere. Seriously, Steve had just seen him at the bar a few seconds before he spoke.

“Is this your boyfriend or something?”

Steve cleared his throat awkwardly as Eddie stood taller, more intimidating.

“Does it matter? I’m asking you nicely to go.”

“I don’t think it’s up to you. I asked him.”

Eddie looked like he wanted to punch the guy, and Steve could admit to himself silently that he wanted to see it.

But he didn’t quite understand why Eddie was reacting like this; He’d assumed Eddie would want to try to hook up with someone while he was here and wouldn’t want to spend all his time with Steve.

“Steve? Do you wanna get a drink with this guy?”

No, he didn’t. He hadn’t even before Eddie came back. But a part of him had to wonder if maybe Eddie’s reaction was just to protect Steve from an older guy.

“I actually have to drive us back home so I probably shouldn’t have another drink. Thanks though.”

The guy mumbled something before turning and leaving, shaking his head as he walked to the bar.

Eddie slid into the booth next to him instead of across from him, letting most of their sides touch.

Steve couldn’t help the way his body naturally curled into Eddie’s, the comfort and safety of his body drawing Steve in without effort.

It should have ended there. Steve should have just let himself stay rested against Eddie’s side until Robin was done.

He did for a minute, but then his brain decided it needed explanations.

“What was wrong with that guy buying me a drink?”

Eddie was quiet for a moment, his body tense against Steve’s.

“I just don’t think he was the right kind of person to be buying you a drink. You deserve better than that.”

Steve’s brows furrowed.

Eddie didn’t know the guy, he could’ve been really nice. Other than the propositioning as his first line, he seemed like he was willing to do whatever Steve wanted to get more time with him.

“Who is the right kind of person then?”

“Someone younger. Maybe someone who doesn’t wear a damn suit to a gay bar. This is a casual place, there’s no need to flaunt your super important job. Plus, he could see your drink was still half full, he should’ve known you didn’t want one.”

“You offered me a drink before you got up.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Because I’m not trying to get you drunk to sleep with me.”

Yeah, and wasn’t that a shame?

Steve dropped it. It wasn’t worth arguing with Eddie and he didn’t want to ruin any of the fun they could have.

“Should we dance?”

Eddie pulled away and looked at him like he’d grown a second head.

“You want to dance with me?”

“Why not? We’ve been abandoned by Robin and the music isn’t bad.”

The music wasn’t bad to Steve. Eddie, however, was suffering through it as it was, and that was without having to dance to it.

“Pleeeeease?” Steve pouted at Eddie, eyes wide.

“You can’t make that face. It’s not fair.”

Steve kept making the face because being fair wasn’t something he cared about.

Eddie stood up, holding his hand out towards Steve to help him stand from the table.

Steve took it, ignoring the way he wanted to collapse against Eddie the second he stood up.

They made it to the dance floor, where a surprising amount of people were dancing in pairs and small groups, enjoying the fact that they could safely here.

Just when Steve turned to Eddie, the music changed to Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears.

Steve tried not to take it as a sign.

Eddie suddenly looked even more nervous, like he’d planned on maybe getting away with just jumping around to the music and now he couldn’t.

Just when Steve was going to give him an out, another guy, this one younger, but not as nice looking, wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder.

“How ‘bout we dance, sugar?”

The guy was drunk.

Steve wasn’t interested in ruining his favorite song by dancing with this drunk guy.

“He’s busy,” Eddie said firmly.

The guy backed up a bit, but still had his hand against Steve’s arm, resting there with enough of a grip to keep him upright.

“Sorry, you got somethin’ against me dancin’ with him?”

“Yeah, that’s why I just said he’s busy.”

Eddie pushed the guy’s hand off of Steve’s arm and put his own around Steve’s waist, pulling him against his side with no room for air or argument.

Steve tried to catch his breath, his heart skipping a beat and his lungs exhaling instead of inhaling.

“Maybe you should let him say if he’s busy or not.”

Steve was missing his favorite song to argue with a guy he wasn’t interested in when he could be dancing with Eddie.

Unacceptable.

“I’m dancing with him. Find someone else.”

The guy rolled his eyes and walked away.

Eddie turned and adjusted his arms so they rested on Steve’s hips.

Steve didn’t know what to do.

“Have you never slow danced before, King Steve?”

“Uh. Just once.”

“Oh? Let me help you then.”

Eddie took his hands in his own and gently placed them around his neck, pulling himself closer to Steve when his hands found his hips again.

“This okay?”

“Yeah.”

Steve wasn’t sure how this was happening, how this was real.

He just knew he didn’t want it to end.

He rested his head against Eddie’s shoulder, letting himself enjoy what would probably be his only chance at dancing with Eddie for the rest of his life.

“Why do you keep sending people away?”

Why was Steve determined to ruin tonight with his stupid fucking questions?

“What do you mean?”

“It just seems like you don’t wanna share.”

Eddie didn’t respond.

Steve looked up at him, but his face was hard to read in the darkness of the bar.

“Eds?”

“I don’t.” Eddie cleared his throat. “I don’t wanna share you. I like having you all to myself. Sorry if I’ve ruined your night.”

He started to pull away and Steve panicked. He couldn’t say that and then leave.

“What do you mean? You haven’t ruined anything. I wanted to spend it with you, anyways.”

Eddie was searching his eyes, looking for any sign of a lie.

“Steve, I-” The song changed, but it was another slow song. They kept slowly rocking and staring at each other. “I have to tell you something. You’re probably gonna hate me and wanna leave me here in Indy.”

Steve gulped. Could he possibly have feelings for Steve?

“I uh. I sent them away because I was jealous.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I love you so fucking much I don’t know what to do with it all the time! Sometimes I hide in the bathroom during movie nights so I can scream into the towels. Do you know how ridiculous that is? I’ve even been caught by Max before and she promised not to say anything if I gave her $20.”

“Oh.”

Oh? What the hell Steve, say something else.

“So, I get it if you hate me. I mean, I don’t know how this happened and I have no right to send potential dates away because I want to keep you to myself.”

Steve leaned up and placed a kiss on Eddie’s cheek.

“I’m glad you got jealous.”

Eddie was blushing now.

“What?”

“If you hadn’t been jealous, you probably wouldn’t have told me all this, would you?”

“No, I guess not.”

“You know what helps with jealousy?”

Eddie looked down at him, more confused than ever.

Steve didn’t wait for him to respond.

“Making out in the bathroom of a gay bar.”

Eddie’s eyes practically bugged out of his head as he registered what Steve was saying.

“You wanna do that? With me?”

“Well, I certainly don’t wanna do it with anyone else. And you won’t let me do it with anyone else. So maybe we should do it together.”

Eddie grabbed his wrist and wordlessly led them to the bathroom in the back of the bar.

It wasn’t empty, but the single stall was available and Eddie made it pretty clear what their intentions were when he dragged Steve right into it, closing and locking the door only a second before his hot lips were on Steve’s.

It was better than what Steve could have possibly imagined, but still not enough.

Now that he knew Eddie wanted him, he wanted everything Eddie could give him.

And Eddie seemed to want to give it all to him.

His lips were almost too much, but Steve couldn’t get enough.

They weren’t even in a bathroom anymore, floating high above the clouds with happiness and contentment.

Until a knock on the stall door nearly made Steve give himself another concussion.

“Dingus One and Dingus Two! Super happy for you both, but it’s time to go.”

“Shit.”

“What time is it?”

“It’s nearly one in the morning and we agreed to leave by midnight. I got distracted by boobies.”

“Don’t we all,” Steve said, as Eddie let out a loud laugh.

They opened the stall door and Robin sighed.

“Fix your hair. I’ll be at the car.”

Steve looked in the mirror as she left the bathroom, smirking at Eddie’s reflection behind him in a similar state of disarray.

“Okay?”

“So okay.”

“You owe me a dance.”

“What? Why? We danced!”

“But it got interrupted. And I wanna dance with you.”

Eddie sighed, but smiled fondly at Steve.

“I’ll dance with you whenever you want, sweetheart.”

[thatfreshi]

"Undeserving"

Hi! This was an expedited request by @mosshugs who asked that I go more into my headcanon of Astarion having ED behaviors. I want to preface this by saying I have limited experience with ED behaviors, and most of my experience and knowledge is from people I know with eating disorders, and I apologize if something I've written here doesn't feel correct for the experience.

So, BIG TW for eating disorder talk on this one.

If you'd like to have an expedited request, please check out the pinned post on my blog! (The masterlist can now be found under the tag freshimasterlist.)

When it comes to survival, it is difficult to foster nurturement, to find the strength to nourish even the smallest part of yourself. It is especially difficult for those who never had a nurturer, those who grew up without the protection of a mama bear, those who were ripped away from safety and forced into survival primarily, to find the strength to care, even if it's for themselves. While it seems like common sense, some part of you couldn’t ever fully understand the phenomena of nourishment and survival. That is, until you were faced with the conundrum head-on.

Astarion had somewhat perfected survival at this point, despite the fact that it was mostly not his choice. A more proper word choice might be endurance, the ability to persevere through torture despite your undying presence. Even now, he had endured all the way to the city, all the way to the legendary ‘Baldur’s Gate’ that you had been fighting towards for weeks. The two of you understood each other quickly, smoothly, reading each other like tea leaves. But, just like premonitions, not all of the details unfold as quickly as others. 

Your vampiric lover had been feeding on you almost every evening since you found out about his little ‘secret,’ that he didn’t quite hide as well as he thought he did. Of course, it started when you were merely aquaintances, continued on when you were friends, and then turned into something more. Now, feeding on you is a romantic ritual of sorts, a sign of trust, a moment of recluse and safety. Safety is a word that Astarion is unfamiliar with, the feeling at least. But those moments he has drank from you, he has finally started to understand what exactly it means to be safe. That is, until he suddenly stopped. 

You were waiting to face Cazador, a being who had now become one of multiple banes of your existence. Sadly, things on a wild adventure don’t necessarily schedule themselves neatly, which was making both you and Astarion jittery, anxious.

“We should rest soon you know. Plenty more villains to get around to.”

He isn’t fully listening, something you’re quite used to dealing with. 

“I know.”

He’s more exhausted these days, moreso than usual. Everyone is tired obviously, but you’re more tuned into his energy than the others.

“Have you fed recently? It’s been a while since you’ve asked me.”

“Of course. How many people have I killed just today? Plenty of blood has been going around.”

He stands in the opening of the tent, staring off into nothing while you sit on the ground.

“You and I both know you don’t stop for long enough to get enough out of any of those fools.”

“And you take me for a liar?”

Astarion’s tongue is sharp, and he finally turns to face you.

“I take you for a liar, but not usually a liar to me. Now, come, drink some.”

You’ve had plenty of banters like this, where he has been difficult with you, but the night air doesn’t sit peacefully like on those nights. He’s not staring at nothing, but at the past, the future. He doesn’t bend to your whim. 

“Really, my darling Tav, I am alright. Perhaps you should go to bed without me, I might be up for a while.”

Distant. He’s only distant when something is truly bothering him, just like he was in the beginning, just like he was when you met him on the beach.

“Astarion, why don’t you want to feed on me?”

Out of the myriad of things he doesn’t like, he doesn’t like direct confrontation from you. When it comes to safety, survival, nourishment, he likes to be elusive. He likes to hide from you, because sometimes you let him. He wasn’t allowed to hide before, when he was still living at the palace. Sometimes though, you can’t let him hide.

“Who said I don’t want to feed on you? Why, your blood is delightful! Delectable even.”

And there he goes, that slight seduction in his tone, a distraction.

“Then why haven’t you drank from me in days? Over a week at this point?”

Now comes the moment when he realizes there is no way out, that you’re onto him, that he can’t dance around it with his words any longer. He makes his way to be next to you.

“I… I’m not really sure Tav.”

A very rare occurrence, where Astarion sounds entirely clueless.

“What do you mean?”

“I, I mean I do want to. I’ve told you so many times before how much I delight at our feedings, I just-”

You give him a moment.

“I feel, wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Wrong. Like it wouldn’t be right to feed from you.”

“Aster, I’ve told you how many times that I’m okay with you feeding on me. It’s even enjoyable at times! And besides, it’s good for you, and it strengthens our bond-”

“I don’t think any of that is what this is. And I do hear you, but this… this is different. Maybe it’s because we’re so close to confronting, him.”

Both of your faces change slightly at the thought of Cazador.

“Are you nervous? Because that seems entirely natural.”

“Well, yes. Of course I’m nervous, not that I would tell anyone else that. I think this though, is perhaps a feeling of being undeserving of something.”

“Like what?”

“Freedom, love, more than rats. I have wanted to feed on you numerous times, but I find myself being held back by this feeling of being… undeserving.”

“My dear, you are entirely deserving of feeding, especially on me.”

You move to comfort him, a light touching arm.

“I suppose it doesn’t feel that way right now. You know what I was forced to drink from before: flies, rats, other vermin. And of course, when you first offered for me to feed from you, I was so incredibly taken away by a luxury I was never given. Now though, I simply wonder if I should’ve ever had that luxury at all, or if I should have that luxury even now.”

“You are deserving though.”

“I don’t think that will fix it my love. I don’t know if anything that you say can fix this.”

One of the hardest truths of love, that your words cannot always fix their wounds. That sometimes, there are things you will never be able to heal by yourself. 

“Then… how do we fix it? How do we make you feel deserving of feeding?”

He fumbles with his hands.

“Time? Patience? I don’t honestly know darling.”

You move a hand over to his wandering ones, hoping to ground him a little.

“Maybe, now that I know, we could at least try? Even just a little?”

There’s a hint of optimism in his demeanor, something you’ve seen more of over time.

“Alright then, we can try. But that’s all I can promise, an attempt.”

And so, he moves to prepare as you lie down, a much easier way to get your life’s essence taken. It’s a little more tense than usual, which makes sense following a conversation like that. There’s a moment where his teeth pierce your skin, and a piece of time where he does feed, and then there’s a sharp pull away. He seems almost nauseous when you sit back up. You cover the rip he just made on your neck with a nearby piece of cloth.

“I’m sorry, I just… I can’t tonight. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you tried. That’s all I said right, that we should try?”

You move back over to him and wipe at a tear, one made from an apology he never should’ve had to give. 

“Right. And maybe we can try again tomorrow?”

“Of course my love, of course.”

When the two of you lie down finally, there isn’t much said for the rest of the evening. You’ll never quite know exactly what he felt in that moment, what tasting your blood was like, how it made him ill and scared. One thing you do know is that you’ll be there again the next evening, and the evenings later, even if it takes a lifetime to repair that relationship with feeding from you. And maybe eventually, there won’t be that feeling of being undeserving anymore. Maybe one day, there will be nourishment instead of survival, but for now, you can try and make survival as nurturing as you can.

[im-out-of-it]

making a complete list of my thoughts of the show vs books since I finished it and will probably leave some stuff out since I’m super forgetful, sorry 💀

1. once again love that they upped the ages. glad we didn’t have centuries year old Magnus chasing teenager Alec or all the other inappropriate relationships in the books

2. Malec is fucking perfect on the show and it really showed that if any actually cares about them, they can make the characters much better and give the characters a better shot than the author ever did. I seriously love all the details Matt, Harry, and whoever wrote their episodes did. only one I cannot stand is when Alec doesn’t realize right away that Magnus and valentine switched bodies. but alec handled the immortality thing wayyyyyy better than book Alec ever could. book Alec (and pretty much TMI content and etc) barely exists let’s be real

3. Izzy and Simon are way too rushed in the series but at least they have more do a friendship and there’s no cheating storyline. but I kinda like Maia and Simon together. I feel that Maia understood Simon.

adding: I don’t mind Simon and clary in the show dating and the way they end things is not as harsh as it is in the books. maybe clary (I’m being kind lmao) actually cares about Simon in the show but still kinda uses him at times

4. might be the only thing I’ll say about the books that’s nice but it would’ve been cute to see the vacation storyline (eldest curses) in the show. would’ve been cute to see a Malec holiday and moving towards them having children 🥹

5. Maia doesn’t get enough credit. she’s one of the few sensible people on the show and gets more attention than book Maia ever did

6. speaking of Maia, I’m glad they didn’t go too extreme with the Jordan plot. in the books, I think she was made to feel to get over how Jordan treated her. but man, why does the actor have to be attractive 😭

7. I really like Maryse and Luke together. they fit each other quite well. Maryse has some of the best development in the show and I loved seeing her grow

8. glad Jocelyn was killed off. she was more insufferable in the books so glad the show decided they didn’t need that energy

9. Jace and clary are both clearly insufferable but it’s worse in the books. I feel like in the show they’re still pretty bad but it’s a little tamed

10. Alec deserved better than jace. dude had the audacity to act as though Alec is a fling, expected Alec at his beck and call to do whatever he wanted while not understanding or caring about Alec’s feelings and his needs, practically invites himself at Magnus’s place while being the worst roommate, and then taking for granted all the people who sacrificed (MAGNUS AND HIS MAGIC LITERALLY THIS LOVELY MAN LOSES HIS MAGIC AND HIS HOME AND HIS MIND) once again to help his worthless ass

11. wish they wouldn’t have killed ragnor off. we got to see a lot of vampires and wolves but not a lot of warlocks. would’ve been great to see more of Magnus’s friends. you could seriously make a whole show based off on Magnus and his life

12. kinda wish they kept camille around. I know she was drama for malec in the beginning but she’s still a very fascinating character

13. I’m 100% thankful for the show not following the books and creating their own world

14. I would’ve loved to see more of the alternate universe episodes. one of the best episodes

15. ALL THE MALEC PARALLELS. these two beautiful and desperately, devoted, in love with one another men are seriously the best part of the show 😭 the fact that there are no cheating stories (when Alec is all drunk, underhill is flirting and all Alec can talk about is Magnus. Magnus defies bisexual stereotypes when dot tries to kiss him.), no taking away immortality or throwing fits or bierasure, or any toxic storylines is one of my fav things about Malec. they’re just two beings who are so in love with one another, who communicate, and are just completely devoted to each other. and it’s one of the reasons why everyone was so hooked on Malec. they’re healthy but you’re also excitedly rooting for them 🫶🏼

16. Clary deserved to lose her ability with runes. the angels message was to not use her rune ability for whatever she pleased but she took advantage of it. but I will say, some helped but I feel that the rest she just used because she didn’t care

17. season three breakup wrecked me and I’ll not emotionally recover from that. it breaks my heart seeing Alec break his own heart and Magnus’s all so Magnus can have his magic and be whole again. I’m so glad they got married in the end 💓

18. I’m glad the twinning rune went to clary instead of jace because how many times does this worthless fucker need saved????? SERIOUSLY HOW MANY

19. I think Magnus recognizing what Alec needs at the beginning when they meet is beautiful. I don’t think it’s creepy (as some book fans state.) and it shows that Magnus understands that Alec is not ready to be out. I’m glad Magnus doesn’t get shitty with Alec on not being out like he does in the books

20. also book vs show thing. I actually like the whole marrying Lydia plot. I get the whole grand gesture of kissing in wherever they were- sanctuary???? (y’all cannot pay me enough to read TMI again, I will not go through that torture again) but I really hate that it’s not even in Alec or Magnus’s pov. CC makes a point of giving characters she chooses to have unnecessary pov

21. I probably forgot something but I mainly skipped all the clace content that didn’t involve Alec or Magnus but otherwise, messy show but so amazing for the Malec content. Izzy, Maia, Raphael, and Simon are a bonus as well. I’m just saying that the show could’ve been a whole lot worse lmao

[leighsartworks216]

I Come With Knives Pt6

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

(The other parts of this story are under the First BG3 Masterlist, or you can use the AO3 link to read it there)

This one is my problem child. I have no idea how to write for the other companions but I needed to have this as context for the companions learning about Tav's bg and yeah whatever I've got better stuff coming up. I am very very excited for future chapters >:)

Warnings: self-destructive coping mechanisms (scratching oneself), mentions of slavery, hints of a panic attack, mentions of emotional abuse, mentions of biting, possibly OOC companions

Word Count: 1,334

Main Masterlist

First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

I Come With Knives Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Everyone eyed you warily. You didn’t blame them. After you scrubbed your hands raw of the blood staining them, you provided no explanation. You’d basically sped in, Astarion trailing behind, and ran for a bucket of water. And stayed there. For hours. After the fact, you changed out the water, of course, but they weren’t concerned as much with the pink-tinted water as they were with the frantic nature you scraped the natural dye from your hands.

Astarion didn’t say anything either. A few of them had tried asking, but he smiled tersely and made an excuse that changed each time. “I was too distracted fighting a beast.” “You know how some people get with germs.” “They really hate the color red.” (This one was not said to Karlach, nor in her earshot.) 

It all came to a head at dinner, when you’d still provided no explanation. Gale handed out servings silently, staring at you as though studying a new specimen. Lae’zel watched you like a predator trying to defend her territory, prepared for the moment the intruder stepped over the line. Shadowheart barely repressed her scowl.

Wyll set down his bowl pointedly. “Haven’t you kept your secrets hidden long enough?” You raise your eyes from your barely-touched stew. You didn’t quite see him. Your mind lingered on the image of the Gur. “Do you expect us to continue following blindly while we pour our souls out for you?”

You bristled. The image disappeared, tucked away to haunt you later. “No. No, I’m sorry.” You sighed and set your bowl aside. Everyone watched you expectantly, more interested in what you could say than filling their bellies. “It’s just… difficult to talk about.”

“Speak,” Lae’zel encourages roughly. “We will listen.”

Astarion frowns at you. He’s taken to sitting beside you for ‘dinner’. They knew by now he wasn’t suited to eating normal food, but he didn’t quite trust them not to stake him through the heart or cut his head off. It was safest to linger by your side. The irony of your trust in him was not lost on him: You understood him best and you feared him the most. That fear may have dampened over time, but you still flinched at the gleam of his fangs, watched him as he left camp to hunt at night. Yet you’d bared your soul to him and him alone. He couldn’t wrap his head around it.

You inhale, slow and shaky. Your hands fiddle in your lap, providing you some sort of distraction. It would not be enough to ground you to reality should the thoughts become too potent.

“I was… am,” you corrected unsurely, “a vampire’s thrall. She… uses me as a blood source. Has used me, for years. I’ve been stuck under her thumb since I was a teenager. It’s… easier to have one consistent source of food than to go out looking for it every night.

“When we were out in the woods,” you nod your head slightly toward Astarion, “there was a Gur. A monster hunter. A-And he said he was looking for a runaway.” Your breaths sharpen into quick, frightened little things. You nearly choke on them. You stare into the fire. Your nails start scratching at your hands. You don’t even realize you’re doing it. “He had nothing to go on, just a name, but I panicked and I- I killed him. I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t have. I could have explained everything. I could have paid him off. I could have-”

“Steady on, soldier,” Karlach interrupts. You can’t look at her, can’t draw your eyes away from the flickering flames, but you know she looks worried. It always amazed you how openly she wore her emotions, despite it all. “Take a breath, okay?”

Your nails stop scratching in favor of digging into your skin. You take a breath, slowly let it out, and your nails ease off. You run your fingertips mindlessly over the indents left behind.

You whisper, unable to raise your voice any further. “He said my master is in Berdusk.”

Quiet. Gale spoke up, voicing the awful realization everyone had. “That’s only a few miles from Baldur’s Gate.”

You nod.

“You’re marchin’ right back to her.” Karlach sighs, heavy and empathetic.

You finally lift your eyes from the fire. Everyone’s attention is on you, pitying and remorseful. “I have no choice. I can’t abandon you all just to run away. Especially with these tadpoles. I have no doubts she’ll find me quickly once we reach the city.”

“We could confront her,” Wyll suggests. “Go to Berdusk, face her head on, free you!”

“It’s not some goblin camp we can just walk into and clear out,” you protest. The idea thrills you to no end, but you cannot allow yourself that hope. Not when there is none. You will be found. Tonight, the next, a week from now. You’ll be locked back into your servitude. There is no chance you have to be free. “Killing a vampire lord isn’t- It’s not just-”

Astarion speaks up. You don’t expect it; he’d been so quiet this whole time. “If we can kill Cazador, we can kill Kir Parthene.” Your stomach rolls around at the sound of her name. “What makes facing my master any different from yours?”

You know the answer. Even if you don’t realize it yet, you know.

You have no qualms threatening Cazador. You’ve even told Astarion that you plan to help him kill his master, once and for all. Free him and his ‘siblings’, and rid Baldur’s Gate of the nighttime threat to its people. No longer would they have to go out, lure victims in as food for the vampire lord. It was so easy to promise. If you could help everyone else, why should you leave Astarion to the same fate you faced after this quest? He should be as free as possible from the chains binding him.

So why couldn’t you let them swear the same for you? What made Kir Parthene so different from Cazador? She was not stationed in as large a city, she did not steal souls off the street every night just for a quick meal, she did not personally carve poetry into the flesh of those beneath her. She had power, but no more than Cazador held. So why were you so reluctant to even dream of your freedom?

You were afraid.

Astarion can see the very second you know the answer to his question. Your eyes open a fraction wider, filling with a bottomless dread. Your heart stutters and your breath catches. He’s sure you’re on the verge of tears as you inhale a trembling breath, trying to keep yourself from hyperventilating, even as your fear squeezes your lungs.

“You won’t have to face her alone.” You turn to look at Shadowheart. “You’ve given us the strength to face our demons. We can help you face yours.”

You want to believe her. Believe all of them as they nod in agreement. Believe they could give you the strength you lacked, support you when you come face-to-face with her once more.

But then you see the deep crimson of her eyes and lips. You feel her nails digging into your skin. The cooing affections that come just after the harsh vitriol. Her teeth digging deep into your neck. How can you have any hope of facing her?

You shake your head and push yourself to your feet so fast Astarion is startled. “I’m sorry. I can’t think about this right now.” You abandon your dinner. It sits, lonely and growing cold, as you step away from the warm glow of the fire and the safety of your companions into the edge of trees surrounding your camp. You don’t go far, just far enough you can’t hear them speaking and they can’t see you collapse against a tree, clutching and clawing at your hands to remove the memories from your mind.

At least they know now.

---

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[daydream-cement]

Hello! I just love your Larissa Weems fic and oneshots. Like I am obsessed. You’ve gifted us with mind blowing smut and I thank you for it. Is it okay to have a fluffy comfort oneshot where reader is a student and doesn’t really have great parents. Like their parents doesn’t support her or something and for some reason Larissa is like a mother figure of some sort. I’m imagining this happens when the parents visit school. But you can totally change that if you have something better hehe.

It Will All Be Okay

Larissa Weems x student!reader

Author Note: Be gentle with this one guys. I based a lot of this convo off of a real one I had with my own ‘school mom’.

You sat on the steps of the grand entryway crying. Parents Weekend had just ended and everything about it had completely sucked. Your mother had come to visit you alone when you father decided that a last-minute work ‘thing’ was more important. The only trouble with this is your father was the emotional buffer between you and your mother’s personalities. In fact, you were a lot like each other. That was the problem. 

You were so similar and stubborn that never in your life had she supported you different decisions. You had finally shared with your mother your dream job, yet it wasn’t good enough for her. She wanted you to go into the family business- swindling people of their blood at a fake blood bank. It almost felt offensive to you that this was the business of your vampire family. It felt so stereotypical.

So you successfully spent the whole weekend fighting and now that your mother was gone, you felt entirely brokenhearted. Why couldn’t she support you like you needed?

“Are you quite alright?” The voice of your principal rang out behind you. You felt so embarrassed. You shouldn’t have been crying out in the open in the first place. You kept your head low, wiping away your tears with the end of your sleeve.

Your lack of a response didn’t deter Principal Weems. You heard her heels click down the steps until she was seated a step down from you so she could see your face best, “Tell me what’s wrong, y/n.”

You sighed, but when you began your sentence you began crying again. This time to the point in which you couldn’t speak. You covered your face from her, not wanting to let Principal Weems see.

Larissa moved where she was seated once again, moving up to sit right next to you. Her arm wrapped around your shoulders and she pulled you into her. You accepted her hug readily, shifting yourself so you could put both your arms around her. The comforting hug caused a shakey sigh to release from your body, finally feeling a sense of safety. 

Weems heard your sigh and spoke once again, releasing you from the hug, “Doesn’t it feel good to cry a bit. Now tell me what’s wrong.” 

You explained it all. The dream job. The classes you have been taking to prepare you for it. Finally you told her about your mother’s less than desired reaction and her insistence on making you work for the family blood bank.

Larissa gave you a gentle smile, seeming like she completely understood what you were going through, “My parents wanted me to go into the family business too. ‘Shapeshifters work in law enforcement,’ she used to tell me. But I loved schools and teaching. Plus, it’s like being a police officer around here, you kids can be so crazy.”

You give a breathy snort as a way of laughing at her joke. Principal Weems seeming to understand the pain you were in. She continued on, “Regardless, parents sometimes place a burden on their children. Sometimes it’s because they didn’t accomplish something  or sometimes their scared of you doing something new.”

“But why should she be so scared of what I’m doing?” You retort, getting a tad angry thinking about the multiple discussions you have had with your mother over the past weekend.

“Probably because she loves you. Humans are weird.” Larissa tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and looked down at you intently. Both of her hands moved to your cheeks, her intensity made a couple more tears fall, “Everything is going to be okay.”

The way she said it made you believe it. With that, Principal Weems helped you to your feet, placing both hands on your shoulders when you were standing. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head when she enveloped you into a final hug. 

“Better?” She asked, pulling away from the hug.

You took a deep breath and released it slowly, nodding at Principal Weems, “Better.”

“Okay, now run along. I don’t want you missing dinner.” Her hand was on your shoulder as she gently pressed you to head towards the cafeteria.

You nod, hopping down the steps, now in a far better mood.

“Oh, and Mx. L/n, I know someone who works in that career field. Perhaps I can put you in touch?” Weems called after you.

You stopped and spun around, a large smile on your face, “That would be great! Thanks, mom- I mean, Principal Weems.”

“Anytime, dear.”

[stranger-stardustt]

Little snip of the beginning of Dive Off the Deep End (vampire Eddie, Steddie friends to lovers, blah blah blah)! NO TWS just yet, expect for like... mentions of vampires doing vampire things (feeding off of nonhuman prey.) follow #diveoffthedeepend for more snips and updates of this fic!

-

Steve wasn’t one to believe in the supernatural. He never understood why people did, why they decided to go along with something that was completely nonsensical. Sure, he found superheroes interesting as a kid, but he never wanted to be one. He didn’t see the point in dreaming about something that wasn’t real.

And then, in the blink of an eye, his life flipped upside down in the most literal sense possible. Everything he thought was fake was true, he was best friends with a bunch of children, one of which was a literal superhero, and he was in constant danger. 

Those four years of chaos were probably the only reason that Steve didn’t completely lose his shit when the presumed dead Eddie Munson turned up at his house in the middle of the night as a vampire, fangs and all. In fact, he was unusually calm about the whole thing, and now the undead was sitting on his couch.

“Are you hungry?” he called from the kitchen, grabbing a bag of chips and a beer. “I need to go to the store tomorrow, I can get you whatever you want.”

Eddie blinked at him. “Steve,” he said slowly, gesturing to himself, “I can’t eat human food.”

Hesitating, Steve nodded. “Right. This is going to take some getting used to, sorry.” He pressed his lips together. “When's the last time you…fed?”

“Few days ago,” Eddie answered, kicking his feet up. “I woke up in the Upside Down completely starving, I swear I’ve never been hungrier.” Upon seeing Steve’s concerned look, he spoke more. “I took down a demogorgon, don’t worry. I may be a freak, but even I wouldn’t feed on a human.”

The tension in Steve��s body dropped before he could notice it was there. “Cool,” he said with a nod, falling next to Eddie on the couch. “Um, when will you need to feed again?”

The look Eddie was giving Steve was one of pure confusion. “Soon, probably.” His hands fidgeted in his lap. “Can I ask why you aren’t, like, freaking the fuck out? Because even I’m freaking out a little, and I’m not the one with a vampire in my house.”

Steve simply shrugged. “Honestly?” he began, looking over at Eddie. The vampire's eyes were slightly tinted red, but there was still that same brown in them that Steve found himself comforted by. “I have zero clue. I think after like four years, I’m just not as shocked anymore.” The answer was lame, and Steve knew that. But he didn’t really have any other explanation as to why he was so calm. 

“And you trust me?” Eddie asked slowly, shifting to make direct eye contact. “You trust me enough to think I won’t feed on you in the middle of the night or something?”

Silence rang clear through the air for a moment as Steve thought. Did he trust Eddie? He barely knew the guy, even though they had risked their lives together. And somehow, despite everything, he found himself so sure of his answer. “I trust you,” he confirmed. “I’ll admit, I hadn’t really thought about you… doing that. But I don’t think you will. You’re a good guy, Eddie Munson. So yeah, I think I trust you.” Steve hesitated. “No. I know I trust you.” He focused back on Eddie’s face as his ramble came to an end, and a gasp nearly fell from his lips.

Eddie was grinning at him, fangs on display. It was a smile of pure joy, and that saddened Steve a little bit. He figured Eddie didn’t get a lot of people who trusted him so fully. 

“Thanks,” Eddie swallowed, pressing his lips together to contain his grin. “Means a lot, ya know?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I do.”

[celestialsoyeon]

Vampire pt.1

content: mention of blood drinking, vampire Jihoon, comfort.

wc: 1,52k

[!Vampire Jihoon x Vampire Hunter Soonyoung]

Jihoon was running in the woods, feeling short of breath but not stopping his run. They were ambushed by a group of vampire hunters. 

Soon enough, he got away from them, hiding in a tree. It was a close call, but he had escaped from the hunters. When he was sure that he was alone again, he walked home, texting Soonyoung, his best friend. 

He needed to see him tonight. After all, he was the only one he could trust. He hadn’t told him, but he didn’t doubt Soonyoung had noticed. Maybe he didn’t say anything to not make him uncomfortable. Or he just didn’t care about that. 

He was home since barely a few minutes when Soonyoung arrived at his place.

“Jihoon-ah, how are you doing?” 

He wasn’t doing well. He was exhausted, he didn’t even get to have blood this evening because of those damn hunters. But he lied to Soonyoung, once more. He put on a smile.

“Yeah, you? What were you doing before coming?”

“Had no plans. I’m glad to see you. Have you eaten yet?”

“Glad to see you too Youngie. And.. no, I haven’t eaten yet. Let’s grab some food and settle down here?”

“Yup. Wanna order something? That’s on me.”

Jihoon shrugged. He didn’t really care, it’s not like he was hungry of human food. It was blood he needed. 

“Let’s order some chicken then.”

Jihoon just smiled at him. Soonyoung didn’t notice that Jihoon was different from what he usually was. He was too caught up in bringing food in and spending a good evening with his friends.

Until he looked back up at him and met Jihoon’s eyes. They had turned red. Soonyoung took a step back.

“Ji-jihoon- Your… eyes..”

Jihoon froze. Soonyoung was just as frozen, in shock. His best friend, a damn vampire? He was one of these creatures he was hunting every night.

“Soonyoung-ah.. I.. I swear.. I wanted to tell you.. I just didn’t know how.. I know what you do.. I thought you would harm me..”

“You’re my friend Jihoon.. I would never.. Don’t you trust me even after all these years?”

“I.. don’t want people around you to end up discovering you hid the identity of one of the beings you’re supposed to kill.”

“I don’t care about that! You’re my friend and you matter the most!”

Soonyoung looked at Jihoon, tears in his eyes. He couldn’t believe Jihoon hid something like that from him. It hurt, but he understood. In fact, he probably would’ve done the same in his shoes. And if he was honest to himself, he felt conflicted between his affection for Jihoon and his duty as a vampire hunter.

His decision was made, though. For nothing in the world would he hurt Jihoon. He would do anything to make sure he was safe. Even if it meant putting his own life at stake, he didn’t care, because Jihoon was all he had, and it was the same the other way around.

“I would never hurt you, Jihoon. I’ll protect you with all my being, I swear on my life. May God kill me right here and now if I’m not keeping this promise.”

These words reassured a bit Jihoon, but he didn’t feel really safe. Someday, his identity would be revealed, and then, both him and Soonyoung were doomed.

He still couldn’t help but protect him with all his might, despite knowing Jihoon lied to him about this for years.

He was a good person after all. He wanted only to protect Soonyoung from the harsh reality, never killed anyone in two hundred years of existence, and didn’t even ask for blood although his thirst was excruciating.

Soonyoung looked at him for a few long seconds before baring his neck. He knew it would hurt, but Jihoon needed blood, and he needed it now, the older knew enough about vampires to know that the little blond guy was reaching his limit. 

The vampire shook his head, despite the thirst and the pain.

“Soonyoung, I can’t do that. I’m gonna hurt you.”

“You need blood so don’t be stubborn, Lee Jihoon!”

Jihoon froze hearing his full name from Soonyoung’s lips. It was rare to hear Soonyoung call anyone, let alone Jihoon, by their last name. So it troubled him.

He hesitated. He was really in need of blood, but what if he lost control and ended up hurting him? Or even worse, killing him? No, he couldn’t do that.

Soonyoung was just as stubborn as him and insisted.

“Please, Jihoon. I know you’re not going to hold on for much longer. It’s probably because of my crew you couldn’t feed tonight, so let me help you.” 

Soonyoung’s tone was full of worry and pleading. He didn’t like the idea of being bitten, but he knew it was the best course of action, the best way to help Jihoon. 

He leaned closer to him, playing softly with the younger’s blond hair. People had the cliché that vampires like him had dark hair and dark eyes, but Jihoon’s hair was blond as the sun, and his eyes, despite being red at this very moment, were usually a deep shade of blue.

“Jihoonie. Please stop being a pain in the ass and let me help you. It won’t help anyone if you refuse my blood now only to lose control and attack me later.”

Jihoon froze for a moment. Soonyoung was right and he knew it. He came closer to the older, his eyes turning crimson red.

“I don’t wanna hurt you..”

“You’re gonna hurt me much less letting me help you than waiting to lose control. Don’t worry about me and take what you need.”

“Hyung.. It’s not reasonable.You’re going to end up getting hurt.”

“I don’t give a fuck if it’s for you. You know how much you mean to me? How far I would go to make sure you’re safe?”

Jihoon realized that he had no choice. Soonyoung was right. He had to let him help him.

He leaned closer, his fangs extending. Now that he was getting ready to drink, he could smell Soonyoung’s blood, hear his heartbeat. He couldn’t help but to tease him a bit.

“Are you scared of taking this big step, Youngie?”

Soonyoung blushed slightly but still acted as if everything was fine.

“I- No I’m fine!” He lied, and faced a smirk from Jihoon in return as he came closer to him, resting his head in the crook of his neck.

“Don’t lie. I can hear your heart beating so fast that I wonder how you’re not as pale as a sheet.”

Soonyoung blushed slightly more as Jihoon seemed to know exactly how he was feeling. He felt a bit embarrassed, but Jihoon didn’t let him stay this way and instead reassured him.

“It’s okay to be scared. You’re doing something you never did before. It’s normal to be scared and if you want to stop at any point just say so and I’ll stop immediately.”

Soonyoung thanked him, feeling reassured by the vampire’s words. He nodded and spoke in a soft voice.

“Let’s do this. You need it Hoonie.”

Jihoon didn’t wait any longer. He bit down on Soonyoung’s neck, getting to the vein in the span of a second. He did his best to make it as painless as possible, but the older still whimpered softly in pain. 

He kept drinking for a few minutes, keeping it slow so Soonyoung wouldn’t get dizzy or pass out. He was being as gentle as he could. 

After a while, he stopped drinking and let go of Soonyoung.

“Are you okay?”

Soonyoung nodded. Being fed on by a vampire wasn’t that scary and terrible. A bit painful, but no more than an regular blood donation. He was okay. 

The vampire still decided to check on him, making him sit down and taking his wrist to check his pulse. He held onto his friend’s wrist for a few seconds before finally talking.

“Hm.. you seem fine. Your pulse is a bit weak though, you should stay down. Don’t try to get up or you might faint.” 

Soonyoung stayed seated, despite feeling fine. He knew Jihoon knew better than him. The younger let his head rest on Soonyoung’s shoulder, his hand still holding onto his wrist, making sure he was okay.

“I’m worried about you Youngie.. Are you really feeling okay? Your pulse is still so fast.. Are you maybe.. Scared of me..?”

“I’m okay, Hoonie. My body needs time to process what just happened. But I’m fine. You didn’t take that much blood.” 

He smiled at him, in hopes to reassure him. He really didn’t want to worry about him when he wasn’t even feeling down. 

Jihoon kept checking on him until he was satisfied that Soonyoung was doing okay. There was no sign anything was wrong with Soonyoung.

But what awaited them was much worse than what could have happened tonight.

[andreal831]

How do you think the series would have differed if Hayley had found her parents alive along with her pack? The reason they didn't find her sooner being the damn curse and the will to keep her safe and out of it? Or maybe genuinely not knowing where she was?

This is such an interesting question.

I think it would change so much.

Hayley was so desperate for a family that she willingly sacrificed 12 people she knew in order to find them. Finding her family would have been everything she ever wanted.

Now, I think it would be interesting to see what kind of people her parents were. From what Marcel says, they do seem like they were truly trying to create peace with the factions, but, unbeknownst to them, the Hollow was interfering. But we really don't know how they would react to Hayley's pregnancy and who the father was.

Hayley likely would have felt more connected with the wolves than she did initially with her pack. I think she still would have laughed off the betrothal because that was not the way she was raised. She also likely would have had some resentment towards them for not finding her. We don't know much about Hayley's life but she doesn't talk highly about her adoptive parents. Even if they legitimately couldn't find her, she likely would have still had some anger at them.

It may have created more animosity between the factions as Klaus would likely be more territorial of Hope as he grew to care about the pregnancy throughout season 1. It may have even limited Elijah and Hayley as Hayley likely would have spent more time in the bayou. The vampires therefore may be less likely to compromise with the wolves.

I honestly wish they would have allowed Hayley to find some family member, even if it wasn't her parents. The wolves in TVDU are so underdeveloped. They are used as side characters to create stakes for the vampires. This is emphasized by the fact that Klaus throw a 1,000 year fit because he has his wolf side bound but then never once changes into a wolf after the first shift.

The wolves in New Orleans somehow have royalty but also alphas based on merit? Jackson mentions he earned his role but then they often talk about being born to it. Hayley's parents, we don't know which one was born Lebonair, are supposedly the last of the direct line. Since Jackson's parents are dead (?) they likely would have been able to unite the pack under them until Jackson became old enough to lead on his own. Due to the curse, this may have taken longer. This would have solidified Hayley's position more as alpha than Jackson. I never understood why they were "co-alphas" when it was Hayley that won the pack back from Oliver on her own. But apparently this type of pack values royalty over actual leadership, but still somehow disrespects Hayley even though she is also royalty. Essentially, what my side tangent means, is Hayley's parents being alive would have given her a better position in the pack and allowed her to gain respect more easily because their alphas were backing her.

This likely would have led to a war for Hope. The pack would have wanted to keep their "royal" line with them and Klaus wouldn't have wanted that. This is especially true if Hayley had spent more time in the bayou and didn't develop the relationships with the Mikaelsons that she did in the show. It could have been a really interesting dynamic to watch.

Thanks for the ask!

[thegamingcatmom]

Choose violence 12 and 23

Hi there!

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them.

Irina Denali

A lot of people resent her because of her behavior and actions throughout the movies. Which...I kinda get it:

she´s part of the reason the Denalis did not aid the Cullens in fighting off Victoria and her army in Eclipse (Tanya´s to blame for that as well imo - she´s the leader and, as such, should´ve been the voice of reason)

in BD Part 1, she still refused to believe Laurent tried to kill Bella (basically called Edward a liar) and I fully believe she´d have offed one of the wolves (probs Seth) after the wedding, had Tanya allowed it

then you got all of BD Part 2...I mean, I think we all know (always always always get your facts right first)

HOWEVER-

I think a lot of people don´t make an effort to actually understand such complex characters. It´s easier to go by what you can see rather than digging deeper and wondering about the Why:

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Laurent

I don´t believe Laurent and her were "meant to be", but Irina probably did. (Hence why she wouldn´t believe a word Edward said.) After centuries of searching, she´d finally found her mate. The one thing she´d always hoped and longed for. (I HC her as someone who´s dreamed of marriage since she was a little girl. Just like Rosalie.) The one thing all vampires hope and long for, I reckon.

...Only to have that ripped away from her in a matter of...days? Weeks? Months? (Not sure how long Laurent´s been with the Denalis before he returned to Forks to finish the job.) It broke her. I´d even go so far as to argue she felt a pain similar to when her mother died. Not as severe, but powerful enough to leave a gaping hole in her chest. I think Laurent´s death changed her, made her bitter, and I really wish we´d have gotten to see the Irina before Laurent. She was probs a whole different person.

Besides: Yall can´t tell me any of the Cullens would´ve reacted any differently if their mate had been slaughtered by the wolves. A vampire will always be out for blood and revenge after that.

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The (not quite) immortal child

Well, what to say here? It was a misunderstanding, a big one. One that could´ve been prevented by Irina herself, if only she´d have taken the time to think before acting.

...But rational thinking can be difficult when your past comes back to haunt you. She saw the child, and got triggered. She didn´t even think about thinking, she was simply not able to. The death of her mother was a traumatic experience for her, and seeing Renesmée probs felt like living through that trauma all over again. She looked disgusted when she saw her and Bella because she has suffered the consequences of such a selfish act (turning a child) before. How could the Cullens, people she considered family, commit such a heinous crime when they knew what it cost them (the sisters)?

I think, above all else, Irina felt utterly betrayed.

With that said, Irina wasn´t a "bad" person. She´s simply been dealt very shitty cards, and while all of that is no excuse for some of the things she´s done, it makes her, for a lack of a better word, human.

23. Ship you´ve unwillingly come around to.

...Don´t hit me pls (looking at you @ynhara):

Irina Denali x reader

DON´T HIT MEH, I CAN EXPLAIN-

Look...I gotta confess something:

I´ve never been fond of Irina, probs because of the very reasons I´ve stated above. I just never really got attached to her, yknow? Sometimes, there´s people you just don´t click with, right?

...Until you start looking deeper into their story. So, basically, ever since I started writing about the Denalis, some of my views just...changed. In order to come up with these HCs and silly little posts and whatnot, I had to deal with her and her story. How else was I supposed to come up with stuff? So, the more I wrote, the more I understood (e.g.: see above). And with understanding came fondness.

If there´s one thing I´ve learned from this, it´s that you should always make an effort to get to know the person behind the mask. 🎭

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Thanks for your ask! 💋

[livlepretre]

It’s legit fucking insane how easily Elena moves past her friends murdering people, and I agree that this is something we see occur in canon as Elena falls in love with the Salvatores and Caroline (one of her best friends) becomes a vampire, she slowly stops caring about just what it means for them to be immortal beings that feed on blood. And yeah, the fact that she can forgive Damon literally murdering her brother—who seemed to be aware he walked in on a potentially dangerous situation for his sister and Elena tried to get him out of there, so she also knew this was dangerous—is just, I can see the “point of no return” warning signs but I’m not sure if Elena ever fully realized what it meant that this wasn’t unforgivable for her since it could be undone or if she did realize it and consider it to be worth it so that she could actually accept these people, who are willing to kill for her and love her, as they are. Elena is not only able to forgive Damon, but she falls in love with him after he murdered Jeremy. FE is just taking this to the absolute extreme of a) the very first vampires who had to stop caring about the morality of their actions and the sanctity of human life if they wanted to survive their new state of being without going insane and b) vampires who didn’t actually care much about Elena as a person at first so who cares if what they do freaks her out and Stefan is a Ripper without humanity and compelled and living his worst life right now so he’s just free falling onto a dark path.

Exactly why I like Elena so much, and why I choose her as my protagonist. I always understood Elena's arc as an arc about a vampiric seduction leading to absolutely moral decay-- Katherine exists to show us where the end of that road literally is for Elena. In my ideal tvd timeline, she would have really gone off the rails as a vampire, been given the cure at the end of season 4, and have had to actually have a reckoning with herself-- not just for what she did as a vampire, but for all the things she did and allowed to happen when she was still human. I wanted that big event to jar her into seeing herself clearly for the first time in years.

Personally, I don't really think Elena is aware of how deranged her thinking gets in canon-- like, she might explicitly think to herself, that person is my on my list, it's okay, but she can't see how much that has changed from who she was before and the thought doesn't strike her as discordant enough, and eventually not at all, which is why her fall is so interesting. She's not intending to lose her moral compass-- she gets seduced when she is young and vulnerable and has no parents, and that seduction reveals terrifying things about her character. I'm not sure anyone would become like Elena in her circumstances-- but the allure and the danger is that anyone might. (something something, that idea that the response to discovering monsters are real is to become the very monster you fear, something something)

Glad FE feels like the natural extension of all of these things 💙 the fic has gone so far past canon events/characterization at this point, but I try very hard to ground it in where things were when we diverted, with just a few things from later in the canon timeline added in. I appreciate your comment very much.