#but we have to be braver than that as a society

[mycological-mariner]

First day of Pride and I just want to shine a light on all the trans people who are unable to transition, especially those who aren’t fresh faced university grads. Those who don’t live in a supportive or even just accepting home or community. Those who aren’t well off, those who aren’t good at or popular enough to crowd fund. Those who can’t afford transitioning. Those who can’t even transition socially or need to stay in the closet for your safety. Those who rely on benefits or unforgiving jobs to just pay the bills. Having to hear day in and day out you’re just GNC, that your pre-transition body is “ugly” and the ways you can express your gender are “cringe.” Every trans person who’s been told they aren’t “trying hard enough”. Those trans people who won’t even get to imagine transitioning for years.

I see you. I love you. You’re so undervalued and under appreciated in a world where being a white, well off 20 year old on HRT and getting surgery is more common to see than people who work full time and just don’t have that privilege. It sucks, so much. But you are loved and you are seen.

Happy Pride Month to trans people who aren’t where they want to be. The world is better with you in it. We all need each other.

[makerofmadness]

being a writer sucks sometimes because you need synonyms to keep yourself from using the same word too many times in succession without strategic purpose but you run into situations where you basically don't have another word. Or your pool is super small and you may need more than one

like you're telling me in the entire history of the English language that it still never bothered to develop more than like three words for love that can have a platonic application that aren't like. Huge stretches for synonyms. Like why is it all romantic words i can't just write about family in peace 😭 like majority of the synonyms are either inherently romantic in meaning or have strong romantic connotations to the point that I'd have to be super strategic in my usage in order to make them NOT sound really fxcking wrong like. And even some of the platonic words just wouldn't really fit right in the thing in writing like.

literally and there's only so many times I can use the word "affection" before that becomes repetitive too-

What am I supposed to do with this

(Btw when you look up stuff like "synonyms for love that are platonic" the results are literally shzt like "love without sex" and "chaste love" so that doesn't work either fudging. Society 😭😭😭 can't write for shxt)

[themillsdaughter]

a privilege I deprive myself of

Synopsis: you would rather chew glass than see Melissa yearn for something and not have it delivered to her. the thing, however, is that your life is a shitshow, and what was meant to be an act of kindness upends any effort you've made throughout the years to keep your feelings hidden.

or slightly insecure! Melissa and traumatized! reader in a Valentine's Day au inspired by this prompt.

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: Talks of body image.

Also, my first time dabbling in this fandom and character, so... Hope you like it!

This isn’t ideal.

Valentine's Day has never been your favorite. Truthfully, you think it’s only yet another excuse for Capitalism to suck some extra cash out of millions of pockets.

You’ve thought this your entire life, regardless of being in a relationship or not. The thing, however, is that you live in a capitalist society and escaping the emotional reliance on the holiday is damn near impossible. So, throughout the years, you’ve come to terms with at least doing something for partners on the day.

Well, that is, until you’d walked in your apartment one day and found your girlfriend straddling a woman you’d never seen before.

This year, you’re single, so the whole thing had just slipped into the background, a red and pink festival more than anything else, really.

“You’re not doing anything?” Janine had asked a few days before in the teachers' lounge, brow furrowed, pity shining in her eyes. Dear God. “You know, Galentine’s Day is really popular now.”

“Honey, I barely want to celebrate the day when I have someone. Why would I make a fuss now that I have an out?” You’d gone back to grading, trying your damnest not to roll your eyes.

“Well, Tariq used to be like that, too. Even though we were together. Sometimes he would forget and go on trips, and those times were pretty lonely… You know, with all the hearts and chocolate and candles and couples around. Not that that’s the case this year, you know. I’m with Maurice, and he’s super attentive.” Her uncomfortable fidgeting had made her chair squeak. As sweet as she is, she should really learn how to stop projecting. “Anyways, I just worry about you. I don’t want you to feel lonely.”

“I don’t.”

“She doesn’t.” Melissa had said, at the same time as you. Looking up from the papers, you’d shared a grin with her. “She has enough wondering thoughts to keep her company.”

Finally, you’d given into your urge and rolled your eyes.

So this really isn’t ideal.

“I think this one is too tight, though.” The voice coming from your phone said. You turned the heat from the stove down, placed a half-lid over the pan, and picked up the device from the counter. On the screen, you saw something that made you pull out a stool from your island and thank God that the woman on the other side of the line was too busy looking at herself in the mirror, brows furiously furrowed, to notice.

Melissa had her hair up in a messy bun, her old pair of glasses hanging in the middle of her nose, and a dark red dress on that stole the breath from your lungs.

The material was soft, with satin-like finish, puffy long sleeves, a square neckline that showed her cleavage to perfection and a skirt that hit her a few inches above her knees.

Nervously, her hands tried to smooth over the creases formed on the dress by her belly.

“Maybe I could wear some spanks” she sighed. “It’s too tight, right?” She turned back to where the phone was, asking you directly.

For a few seconds, you struggled to think of something other than ‘uh’ to say. Melissa is stunning and, in those moments, you wished you’d been braver back when you’d had the chance. Maybe, she’d be asking Barbara this, getting ready as a surprise for you, not for somebody else. 

In a breath, you swallowed that feeling, locking it away with all the ones of its kind, somewhere deep, deep in your soul.

“Hun? It’s too tight, isn’t it? Who the fuck do I think I am trying on something like this.” She’d taken your silence as disapproval, and if she only knew you’d only want to see that off of her if you’d taken it out yourself…

“Shut up, will you?” You finally said. “It’s gorgeous, it looks awesome on you.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s the nicest one of the bunch.”

“I don’t know if I have spanks short enough for it, though. And I need something to get this under control.” She pushed her belly in again, and it enraged you.

“Anyone who doesn’t find that hot is not someone you should listen to.” You said, holding back the rant that always appeared on the tip of your tongue when she said shit like this.

Honestly, the struggle of straight men to like women is mind-boggling.

“You might just be too gay for this.” Melissa snorted, going into her drawer in search of the spanks.

“Well, fuck you very much.”

She barked out a laugh, and you let go of your phone to stir the food you were cooking, glad for a break from the glory of the woman you did not love like that.

Which is yet another reason why this isn’t ideal.

You don’t really care for Valentine's Day, but on the morning of the 14th, Melissa had seemed off. You tried touching on the subject while you two got coffee, as weak as Abbott’s brew always was, however, Gary walked in in all of his mustached glory and her attention immediately shifted to him.

He’s her boyfriend, it’s Valentine's Day, it was only logical.

She gave him hint after hint, pushed her shoulders a bit back, highlighting her breasts just slightly, cocked her hips some while leaning against the sink, licked her lips more than usual, everything to get an ounce of attention back. The absolute idiot fussed over the vending machine, mumbled a few words to her, eyes not even moving in her direction, before leaving with a “see ya later” tossed behind him.

The look that had taken over her face then had made your heart sink.

“He’s been like this all week.” She said during lunch break in your car. “Barbara thinks he might be planning something, says he’s not cheating, but I don’t know… I tried fooling myself with getting the perfect outfit, getting my hair and my nails done, but he hasn’t mentioned any plans, and he’s been so fucking distant, he doesn’t even seem like himself. And I really can’t handle another Joe situation.” Taking the last bite of the Shepard’s pie you’d brought her, she leaned her head against the rest.

To nearly everybody else here, she shows her angry, reactive, gray side. It’s easier for her, something that still makes her an outcast, but firmly protects her inner-self. But some magical, all-powerful, incredible being out there had made it so you were the one she chose to show her other side to, the one that is not always confident, not in her worth or her looks or her ability as a teacher.

The one that loves so intensely it scares her, and the one that has so many scars she spends half her time trying to heal them, or, at the very least, stop them from bleeding all over the place and being visible to the outside world.

“What do you think?” She said, bringing you back to the inside of your 2010s Honda. “You’ve always been better at these things.”

“Do I think he’s cheating on you?”

She nodded.

“Well, first of all, if he is, he is an absolute deepshit who doesn’t know how to count his blessing for you even giving him the time of day.”

You looked into her eyes while you said it, and she turned her head after, staring at the Tupperware in her hands. You thought you saw a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

“But I don’t think he is. Hey, maybe he’s just seen Valentine’s Day for what it is!” You nudged her arm with the back of your hand. “Maybe you’re the one who has to get on board.”

She relented a smile then, but it didn’t last.

“Mel, I think you’ll just have to ride this one out. Wait until the end of the day, so then you can actually have a conversation with him. If he really forgot or if there’s really something wrong, you’ll find out, but, honestly, me? I think he might just have some goofy-ass surprise planned.”

Melissa nodded while keeping her gaze out the window.

There’s a beat, then another, and you thought perhaps you’d convinced her, and she was only taking some time to absorb it.

“You know, you may not feel lonely with this kind of stuff, but…” She paused, voice tired, heart bearing all those tender scars, “I think I’m more like Janine than I’d thought.”

So, hm, this isn’t ideal.

You’d be damned if you let a man who didn’t realize the one in a million he had found ruin Melissa’s day.

Even if Valentine’s Day was traumatic for you, even if it was silly and forced and the world would be better off without it, Melissa was Melissa, and she deserved everything she wanted out of life. You’d thought Gary would see it, but if he didn’t, it’s up to you, even with all your emotional limitations.

So you wrote a little card. Nothing much, just made out of a fancier piece of purple paper you’d had lying around the classroom, with a heart-sticker you’d found at the bottom of your purse decorating the front page. Inside, the note wasn’t all that special, just enough for her to know she would never be alone. That you loved her. That she’d always have you, even if one day she didn’t have anyone else. That she’s your favorite, and if she wanted to, you’d take her out for dinner yourself.

As a friend, of course. Truly.

The fact she made your chest inflate and your pressure drop and a flock of butterflies run a full marathon in your stomach were not things that were included.

After sending the students home, saying goodbye to everyone else (Gregory and his Legos, Janine and her designer bag she knew nothing about, Ava and her many flings and Jacob and his slam poetry), you’d walked to the lounge, where you’d seen Barb and Mel walking towards only a few minutes earlier.

On the way there, you’d seen a bouquet of gerberas discarded on the hallway floor. You’d wondered if a poor kid had gotten broken up with on that day of all days, or if the bouquet held any card of its own. You’d picked it up, deciding to bring it to the compost pile later.

You hadn’t realized how it looked until it had been too late.

“Hey, Mel, I have something for…” You’d started, rounding the corner to enter the room.

“I love you too.” She’d said, looking into Gary’s eyes. In a split second, you’d registered there was something off about her voice, something lacking.

And now here you are, in this less than ideal situation.

All three look at you, standing in the doorway with a card and flowers, calling after another person’s girlfriend. Shit.

“What do you have for her?” Gary’s hand tightens on her waist just so.

So, yeah. Not fucking ideal.

“Hey, look at that. I uh…actually forgot the… ah… The book I was lending you.” You mumble. Spinning on your heels, you walk as fast as humanly possible without breaking into a sprint.

Stupid-ass, invented, asinine holiday.

******

You’re more than half-way through a bottle of Merlot when your doorbell rings.

“Fucking finally!” You shout, jumping from your couch, your belly clenching painfully. Opening up your front door, though, your shoulders drop. “You’re not Postmates.”

“No, I am not. You know what else I also am not? Enjoying this beautiful night with my husband.” Barbara floods you with words, walking past you into the living room.

“Why is that, exactly?” And maybe you’re starting to get drunk, because she seems furious with you, and you can’t remember the last time that ever happened.

“Because I cannot possibly enjoy what was supposed to be a romantic moment with Gerald when I get a desperate phone call from my best friend’s partner asking me if I know where she is.”

It’s too many words too fast, so you sit back down and blink hard, trying to focus.

“What are you talking about?”

“Gary called me. He doesn’t know where Melissa is.”

Melissa. Suddenly, the reason you’d started drinking comes back to you. Shit. Shit shit shit.

“Have you seen her?” Barbara seems to take pity on you, be it for your drunkenness or the way your face scrunches up at the name.

“Not since this afternoon, no. What happened?”

“Gary says she went after you, came back in a different mood. Then they got into an argument in the middle of dinner, because she didn’t seem to be enjoying it, which is strange considering she spent the day worrying he wouldn’t do anything special, as we both know.” She sits down on the futon in front of you. “He says she broke up with him right then and there, and left.”

What?

“What?”

“I don’t understand it either. What did you say to her in the hallway?”

“Nothing, I didn’t talk to her in the hallway, or at all.”

Barbara looks away, shaking her head with an incredulous smile on her lips.

“You two are… God forgive me, but infuriating.” She turns back, sighing. “Did she text you? I’ve called and called, but she hasn’t picked up. She’s not at her house, either.”

“I don’t know.” You pull your phone from the middle of the cushions. “It’s been on focus mode the whole night, I only got notifications for my food.”

“Can you try her? Maybe she’ll pick up if it’s you.”

“You’re starting to freak me out.”

“Yes, well, at least we’ll be on the same page.”

The line rings three times before going to voicemail. Then, there’s someone pressing your doorbell again. Your stomach aches.

Again, not Postmates.

“You’re an asshole!” It’s the first thing out of Melissa’s mouth. As the second person today pushes her way into your home, Barbara jumps up from her seat.

“You’re alive, you’re whole?” She turns Melissa over, taking advantage of the woman’s confusion at seeing her here. “Are you stupidly drunk?”

“Uh… No. Why…”

“Are you going to make any decisions that might land you in jail?”

“No.”

“Thank you, Jesus!” Barbara shouts, letting go of the redhead, lifting her hands in praise, and walking to the door. “Please, resolve your issues and let me have my steak in peace. I’ll call your boy-“ She looks Melissa over. “I’ll call Gary, let him know you’re okay. Goodbye. Also, you’re both on probation until further notice.”

She closes the door behind her with a bang, and the two of you are left alone, staring at each other.

Her make-up is smudged, as if she’d been crying, and that beautiful, beautiful red dress shines under the light. The vision worries you at the same time it sets the butterflies off.

Once more, with feeling: this is not ideal.

It feels like forever goes by, just like this, with neither of you moving or speaking or looking away.

Until she unclenches her fist, and you see your card, the one you’d lost on your rush to leave.

“You couldn’t have picked a better moment?” Melissa asks, placing the piece of paper on your entrance table. Her anger, so explosive moments ago, is low and dangerous now, simmering with the hurt in her eyes.

“Listen, I know how it looked-“

“Any other moment.” She keeps going, incapable of stopping now that she’s started. “Maybe one of the endless times when we sat on that fucking couch watching those boring movies you like. Or… Or maybe one of the nights when we spent hours pouring over project ideas or education strategies. Or really any other time before I made the decision to move on.”

Her heart is there, right in front of you, in the tears that drown the gorgeous green of her irises. Somehow, you feel like this is the cataclysm of thoughts and words and feelings you had both held back for years. 

“What?” You mumble for the second time tonight.

“I found every excuse in the book to avoid this, to avoid looking for someone else. And some of it was true, really. Joe did a number on me, which you know – which is why that just hurt worse.” She points to the card, bent in half and slightly crumbled. “But most of it was crap, and I knew it was crap, but I convinced myself it wasn’t because you weren’t ready, but you are amazing, and maybe it was better to wait just a little longer to see if you ever got your shit together, if you ever got over what that ex of yours did. But you never, ever did.”

“Melissa, the flowers…”

“Yeah, gerberas, my favorites, I know. That was a nice touch. You probably knew he wouldn’t remember that detail.”

“No, Mel, I didn’t buy them.” You step forward, past the table, close enough to reach out and touch her arm, if you were brave enough. You never are.

“What, are you gonna tell me you grew them too?” She snorts, humorlessly. “You know, the worst part is that you encouraged me. You told me to go after him, to let him woo me. Even this morning! You told me to wait for him, just to pull this crap.”

She raises her hand, wipes her eyes, and Christ, what the hell have you done?

She breathes in, and it would be wondrous if it weren’t terrifying, how she puts her heart away, takes the part reserved just for you to see and hides it from view.

“I’ve been in love with you for longer than I know, and this whole time you’ve been leading me on, never really letting me go, no, but still pushing me away.”

In love you with you. In love you with you.

I’ve been in love with you for longer than I know.

It reverberates inside your brain as if an echo in a museum. In love with you.

The person who lights up your days without a fail, the woman who’s made every single potential partner pale in comparison, a staple in your life so important that the mere thought of risking something that could make you lose her had forced you to bury all warm and fuzzy feelings. That woman. This woman. Melissa. Your Melissa. In love with you.

You feel your past is too broken to believe her, but still the thought of her being this hurt is unacceptable.

“Mel, I didn’t write the card to steal you away.”

You risk it now, because you feel her slipping through your fingers, and not seeing her heart when she looks into your eyes makes you feel the loneliest you ever have. You risk reaching over, placing one hand on each of her upper arms. The fabric there is so soft it surprises you.

She flinches, but allows it.

“Just to keep me from giving up, right?”

“You know me better than that.” You try, throat tight. You damn sure hope she does. “I wrote it because you seemed really hurt, and just in case Gary messed up, I wanted you to know you at least had me. You’ll always have me.”

She shakes her head, eyes welling up again.

“What a great pal you are.” Melissa whispers.

“I found the fucking flowers on the floor, I was gonna take them to the trash.” You lose your patience for a split second, because maybe you were tactless, but this is a bit too far, even for such a stubborn woman.

She raises a brow.

“I’m not trying to cover my ass.”

“’You’re the person I think about the most’” She quotes the card. “Did you mean that?”

“Of course.” You say without a thought.

“As a friend?” She challenges.

No. Yes. Maybe. It’s on the tip of your tongue.

If you risk this next step, will you lose her eventually? Like you have every other woman you have loved like this? Will you lose yet another person, yet another soul you feel you can rest beside?

You let your hands travel down slightly.

“Mostly.” She breaks eye contact, frowning. “I cherish our friendship so much, Melissa. But part of me wanted to say more. To say things that weren’t purely platonic. I didn’t mean to steer you around.” You sigh. This is… a lot. “I want to see you happy, Mel. More than anything in the world, you deserve that. And I just felt like allowing myself to feel all those things for you would jeopardize that. You’re an explosive, hot-headed, weird, outlaw Italian with a great mind and a huge, huge heart, and you’re definitely too good for me.”

She shakes her head again, but looking at those amazing, gorgeous, breathtaking green orbs, you find a glimpse of that other side of hers, even if the tears are still there, hiding underneath the surface.

“Today, I only wanted to make sure you would be okay. And I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. I truly didn’t want to ruin that moment for you.” Finally, you reach her hands, and she holds yours back. You fit. “And I have only ever encouraged you to go out there because I really believe you deserve to have the fullest life you can possibly have, and that’s probably with someone… less damaged. Someone good and kind. Someone like Gary.”

Melissa mumbles to herself in Italian.

Forse sarebbe più facile.

“But I don’t love Gary.” She says simply, in English, relaxing into your touch, sending your blood pressure through the roof.

I’ve been in love with you for longer than I know.

“I know.” You say.

You had seen it in her eyes when she’d returned his declaration earlier, the emptiness, the masking, the guilt for lying. She wanted to love him so badly.

She’d looked at you back then and, for a split second, before the confusion and embarrassment that had followed, she’d seemed relieved, as if saying there’s the one who sees me. And something more.

Now, the something more is clearer.

“I know you’re scared.” She whispers again. “And you always, always try to protect me from these things. Never when I get myself mixed up with family business or get into fights…”

“Well, I trust your right hook for that.” You can’t help yourself. She snorts very, very softly, and maybe there’s hope yet.

“But you always try to keep me safe from this, even from you.” Melissa lets go of one your hands, placing a palm against your cheek. Oh, so that’s what it means to have a heart attack. “But I have never, ever, been afraid of your baggage, you jackass.” The spark of defiance that flashes through her expression pulls a smile from you.

If someone had asked you yesterday if this happening was something you thought possible, you’d have laugh them out of the room.

“I just wish you’d given me that god-damn card before I’d wasted this dress on somebody else and had broken a man’s heart for nothing.”

“Poor Gary,” you whisper.

“Yeah… Poor Gary.”

So, perhaps it’s not ideal, with the tears and heartache and being on Barb’s bad side, but she leans up on her tip toes, squeezing your hand, palm migrating down to hold your neck, and despite not being ideal, it does feel oddly right.

“I don’t give a fuck if you hate Valentine’s Day and you think this is corny. You better kiss me before I lose my nerve, or I swear to…”

For the first time in your adult life, you forgo your mind, trying something with risks that may far outweigh the good. With a tug, you pull her in, leaning down, breath catching in your throat when your lips connect, and you find you don’t give two shits about the risks.

Heaven.

Of course, your doorbell rings not five seconds later. Fucking Postmates.

[fishnapple]

Things you can do to be more confident in yourself.

It's a full moon tonight, our confidence can also wax and wane like the moon. So let it also be full tonight. This reading will assist you in understanding how to build a relationship with yourself based on trust and compassion.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

1. Clear quartz

There's something that you should accept. That is, we can never hide from people's eyes and their judgement. Putting ourselves out there for others to see is a brave act. It can sometimes feel like being put under the mercy of others. But daring to show the love we have for ourselves is even a braver act.

Starting from the inside, the root, the part that you feel the most childish and vulnerable inside you, hold it gently and protect it, do little things that make it comfortable and feel loved. Like decorating the place you're living in. Surround your home with beauty and comfort, especially the place where you sleep. A soft pillow for tired and hardened thoughts to rest on.

If you have a desire to be recognised and applauded for your achievement and your individuality. Don't ever feel shame for desiring those. Some people will call that vain, but even the feat of living and existing is worth recognising and celebrating. Be honest with your desires and put in the effort to achieve them. As long as those desires don't harm anyone, there is no reason to deny and feel shame about those.

You seem to have a very creative energy, but that creativity is stifled by the focus on security and practicality. Before you create something, you may consider will this bring you any material merit, will it make a profit, will it have a practical use in your life. In doing so, your creative flow can't flow freely. Who knows, maybe the thing you created might not have a practical use or bring you any material gain, but through the act of creating, you can connect more with your deeper self and discover your inner wealth, not everything has to have a solid, physical and logical meaning, emotional and spiritual meaning are just as important. And by doing that, more opportunities for your growth will be presented to you. So the next time you find yourself wanting to do something that you think or other people think is silly and a waste of time, give yourself a chance to experience first, you can always judge it later.

2. Citrine

I sense that some of you in this group feel stifled in your expression of love and desire. There are pressure and expectations coming in from society and your peers about what is right, what should be done concerning love, relationships and sexuality. Being truly you could mean going against a certain society's standards and expectations. There could be a struggle of whether to conform or to rebel.

Relationships would feel limiting and demanding to you. You would feel like you have to sacrifice your freedom and a part of yourself in order to keep the relationship going smoothly. It's a big compromise.

Every relationship needs compromise but you may not realise that in some communities, some people demand more of that compromise than the others simply because your values are not matching with each other. Maybe you just haven't found your crowd yet.

Community and friendships play a big part in helping you shape your own world view and your sense of self. So you should consider these questions regarding the people you're surrounding or will surround yourself with.

Do they bring a sense of comfort to you?

Do you feel nurtured by them?

Do you have the desire to nurture and comfort them?

What can you learn from each other?

Do you feel joy when talking with each other?

Do you truly want each other to move forward?

Can you imagine them being in your life in your future and vice versa, you in theirs?

If you can answer these kinds of questions with a positive answer then naturally the pressure will feel less pressuring, the demands will feel less demanding. Instead acceptance and freedom will be more present.

Another thing that can help you build more trust and confidence in yourself is learning. Learning more about life and yourself. Maybe the stifling and suffocating feeling, the anxiety, comes from the lack of space in your inner self. If our space is small, it's just a matter of time before the place is cramped, everything is pressed against each other. Learning helps expand your capacity to hold enough space for each experience and thought, feeling and a little spare space to reach out to the future.

3. Rose quartz

Usually, when I see a specific formation or combination of crystals together, I interpret them as a message to expand your life, go out into the world, be brave, express yourself, etc. When I first saw your group's layout, I also interpreted it like that. But on a closer look, the message was the opposite.

Sometimes we don't have to do any grand gestures or make some big changes, achieve something significant to feel more confident in ourselves. It's the small actions in our everyday life, those little wishes and small joys, the peaceful feeling when we're home that can ground us the most.

With this group, the messages for you would be to leave out those big dreams, those spinning thoughts and those faraway ideals for a moment, and just focus on the mundane, daily life in front of you.

If you have the tendency to stay in your head for too long or to imagine and dream about the what-ifs, then there's something you can do to ground yourself more, to anchor yourself.

There's an emphasis on the small acts, careful and slow, little by little. 

Organising and doing something repetitive can actually help you to build a more concrete result. If you want to do something new or something that you're not sure of your capability. Start practicing in small steps and routinely. If you have a vision and that vision may look too faraway, be in a myopic mode, look at what's in front of you and what you can do with them first, but not forgetting the vision of course, just let them take the back seat for a while.Break down steps that you find too big to leap. In the process, you will find that many things are doable right away and that can help you feel more confident in yourself.

You don't have to show yourself in the process. Being visible to other people can be considered brave and confident, but sometimes it can be a careless act onto ourselves. We open ourselves to the judgment and influences of other people while not fully aware that some part of ours just prefers to stay hidden, in a quiet, peaceful place to do its own things. Like a production chain, having people visiting can have a positive effect of gaining encouragement and understanding, but too many people and too often can obstruct the production, unknowingly bringing in hidden trouble factors. A place like that should best be left to the operators and the professionals that know it best, and they are you.

4. Flourite

I believe that there are some messages that are meant to be delivered to people, by you. Something that you can do for other people. In a way, doing things for other people, helping them can actually help you ground yourself more.

Maybe you have reached a certain degree of being comfortable with yourself, knowing how to take care of yourself. But I sense a protective feeling, like self-protection, but a little too much, sometimes to the point of building a wall surrounding yourself. That could make it hard to open yourself up and be more vulnerable when dealing with others. You have your peace, you don't want other people or outside factors to come in and disturb it. But this could create isolation and the feeling of being apart from everyone else.

The inside has been well taken care of, maybe it's time to step outside and help others too. To nurture your relationships with the same love that you have for yourself. To share your experiences and knowledge. You could be a strong pillar for others to look up to. Even when you think your foundation is shaking. What you can do is to look forward, there's always something that you can share and bring into this world and one way or another, it will help somebody, even without your awareness.

I think some people could find you a little intimidating or hard to get close to. But with closer interaction, they can learn a lot from you.

There could be some anger or unspoken thoughts hidden inside you that are fighting to be out. They can create hurtful words that are hurled at other people and yourself.

Being able to face those calmly and channelling them through a healthy route, like writing in a journal, for example, will bring you more awareness and resilience, in turn, helping you to be more sure and stable in yourself. 

[anyaeras]

Moya litttle spider || N.Romanoff

Pairing || vampire Natasha Romanoff x AFAB reader

Warning || smut! ,, they/them pronouns ,, reader has a pussy ,, loss of virginity ,, innocent kink (kinda) ,,  possessive ,, a little manipulation ,, Russian usage 

Summary  || y/n was a vampire hunter in their village ,  ended up being fucked by the queen.

FYI || this is short and just smut plus I spent 20 min on it

Masterlist

────────────────────────────

Y/n was a hunter, a human hunter at that, known for being ever so brave, the society was split between multiple species, vampires, being one of the dominating species. humans seemed to be on the lower end of the totem pole and would wallow in fear, cowering down to the enhanced.

Tonight was no different than most, y/n was out with the rest of the hunters in the community, their human town was small, but well-kept, and they did well making a system which became their way of living, a few selective people became hunters each person had a different reason for why they were a hunter, which was the most dangerous job, being a Hunter meant constantly putting your life on the line in order to protect your people, most despised the thought of anybody going through that, yet y/n had no one to care for them anyway, their parents were preoccupied, and they never made any friends, they lived as the "wanderer" inside their small town.

"Come on get your shit and let's go, we need to be quick" Kent called out, he was a tall and large man, he was in charge of the hunters for this community, yelling specifically at y/n, they hadn't meant to fall behind just it was a lot for someone their size to carry, that's what they get for being a hunter, shit they only even took this job to try and prove they were worth something to their parents, to show they were just as good as their brothers....

Running to keep up, already a few steps behind y/n was able to catch up to the rest of the squad.

"Draw your weapons" was ordered after a quick rumble with heard between the bushes. Y/n was fumbling with their bow, proceeding to just brush it off and go for a dagger, removing it from their leg holder. Yet in a flash it seemed something had pulled the weapon away. There y/n watched as the whole team ran, fleeing from the situation, leaving no help or communication with y/n, who out of absolute instant stumble back tripping over a long root, cause them to tumble to the ground, as the hunter was trying to pull themself together getting up to run following their group a lengthy hand was felt grasping their arm , panic set in quickly, now holding no weapons having no way to fight back, all y/n could do was try and run, yet due to the firm grasp it seemed the attempts were absolutely pointless, finally the creature who had a hold on y/n flip them around becoming face-to-face with a vampire...not just a vampire clearly a royal vampire.

"Aren't you a little small to be a hunter Дорогой" the red headed women who stood tall above y/n spoke down to them.

Y/n was in a pickle that was for damn sure, no place to run, the idea that this was the end and that this vile creature who stood before them whom might they add was extremely pretty for being a vampire....well what was y/n to compare it to it's not like they've met any other vampires, the only had any idea about them due to story's which have been told throughout the community....but that's besides the point.

"I am not, I am just as capable to be a hunter as any of those men" every small ounce of braveness was pulled from their body as they stood as tall as they possible could in front of the much larger women.

"Aren't you cute, well I'm sure you are just as strong as those big bad men, but maybe even braver they just took off and left you here for me, isn't that right Дорогой" the soft voice was taunting to the young hunter, yet there was nothing they could do about it, the vampire had moved closer one hand reached under y/n's jaw forcing them to look up at the vampire meeting eye to eye.

Y/n tried to pull away but was to no success, being held in a state with the vampire.

"You smell....devine" Natasha's raspy tone was echoing in y/n's head, yet it was quick when Natasha made a move, pushing her lips into y/n's which when y/n didn't entirely pull away a smirk was stuck to her Crimson lips.

"Don't tell me, you enjoy the big scary vampire kissing your lips? Mmm?" The tall vampire teased get a firm "never"' from the human, but that didn't stop her, moving her kisses lower finally to her delight a strangled moan slipped prompting Natasha to go on, something was drawing her to the human clearly going to keep the small being.

"Y/n tell me are you a virgin?" The supernatural asked stoping the sloppy kissed abruptly to ask, noticing y/n's heart race increase telling they were about to lie

"No, I-I'm not" y/n tried to keep a straight face and seem confident in the lie yet the tell tale signs would clearly give y/n away.

"Would you like to say the truth now? Or will I have to do it for you?" The vampire stated with almost a cold expression, which cause the humans cheeks to rush to a rosey shade, the long skinny hands of Natasha started to rome y/n'a body, slipping down into the waistline of their pants feeling the soft underwear material slightly damp causing the women to let out a small laugh.

"Wow for a human who came to kill me, you seen wildly turned on" the teasing only turned y/n's face an even darker shade of red, while Natasha fingers moved pushing past their panties to run her fingers between their folds, coating her cold long fingers in y/n's warm juices, the action caused a choked moan to slip out from them only leading Natasha to smirk.

"Look at you doing so well for your first Дорогой (darling) you will be such a good pet for me, you'll like the castle, it's so much better than the village you come from" Natasha's words went right past y/n, the new found feeling of pleaser overtook their thought process.

Slowly Natasha kept going enjoying how y/n was reacting, getting them hot and bothered while their cunt was just dripping, easily only one finger slipped into y/n, causing them to Yelp at this brand new feeling

"My oh my y/n tell me doesn't that feel good, letting me play with your virgin cunt, you seemed to be enjoying it" Natasha pushed on thrusting the one finger in and out before adding a second one making y/n back arch

"Oh my god, please please don't...don't stop" y/n pleaded with Natasha the pleasure of being penetrated was mind blowing, y/n didn't have it in them to think logically about the fact a vampire was fingering their pussy, all they could do was melt into her hold.

Natasha speed up the movement of her fingers yet when the feeling of needed to Piss came over them they tried their best to push away from the supernatural.

"N-no please stop...gotta pee" the words made the vampire laugh, she then saw how innocent her pet was.

"Shh no, just let go" Natasha said keeping her voice soft, while her free hand moved from supporting y/n who also was leaning in a tree, to placing pressure on their clit. With all the motion y/n was thrown over the edge with a long moan, y/n's cum flushed onto Natasha fingers, yet the vampire didn't remove herself from their pussy until they had a moment to come down from their high, the vampire held the human up with one arm, removing her other hand from their pants licking her fingers clean before turning back to y/n.

"You'll be such, a good good pet Мой маленький паук (my little spider)

[donutwatches]

MHA 2.25 - Encounter - part 2/3

First watch, no spoilers, thanks!

It's tea time with our friendly neighborhood villain. Who wouldn't want to get a cup of calming chamomile tea with this face?

Great conversation starter. Why bother with conventional small talk when you can cut straight to, 'So anyway, I hate the world and everything in it.'

Love how Stain gave Shigaraki a villain identity crisis. 'Stain was just knocking over block towers in the play yard, just like me right?' Shigaraki's hate feels like aimless venting in comparison to Stain's clear goal.

Shigaraki was just wandering around the mall, ran into Midoriya purely by coincidence, and thinks, 'maybe this kid who I tried to murder can solve my identity crisis for me.' Deku is braver than me for answering honestly with 'at least Stain has some standards.' lol.

Why did a Linkin Park song start automatically playing in my head when I saw this? ~ IN THE END IT DOESN'T EVEN MAAATTER! ~

UGH, he is twinning with the creepy smile Titan. Honey, you are in a mall, there are so many moisturizers and replenishing face masks you could buy in there.

The only shred of motivation we have for Chap Lips is his hatred of All Might. He dislikes that hero society has become complacent, because of their reliance on All Might.

He is right on this point. I have even made the same complaint, but why does that bother Shigaraki so much that he would turn to villainy? There has to be more to it.

A FLASHBACK! The hand? The blood? Shigaraki when he was young? But it only showed 3 seconds. I need more! I am begging!

Oooh, this is what I mean, there has to be something more personal behind his hatred, right? Did All Might fail to save Shigaraki's family from a villain or something? How did he get mixed up with AFO? I have so many questions.

The Mean Girl saga continues. Shigaraki is about to become the new popular villain by stepping on Staingina's neck. It is sick (and great) how Shigaraki is using Stain's reputation to pull allies to him. It is the smartest move he has made so far.

Click here for part 3

Click here for the masterlist

TAGLIST

@granny-griffin, @jessiedead, @blackaquokat, @champion-prism, @hyperfixations-and-cringe

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

still thinking about crowley's fall.

That one quote, more specifically. "How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

It's very possible I'm overthinking it. But it still reminds me so much of art and censorship, I wrote a poem on it just now, and I just wanted to elaborate on that, on why I said that an answer is judgement but a question is justice.

Back in Ancient Greece, Plato tried to outlaw writers, the storytellers. For millennia, those in power have feared people in arts, because we're not just dealers in aesthetics, we're dealers in ideas. Even in times of war, poverty, censorship, songs were sung, paperbacks exchanged in dark alleyways, stories whispered and walls covered with graffiti.

When stories are created, the writers have to balance both opposing ideas in their head, no matter how vile or repugnant. To prove that the protagonist is strong, you can't have a weak antagonist. The opposing idea has to be as strong as the one that will win for the victory to be meaningful.

Art, and stories, aren't about being right. People say we find answers in art, and maybe for some that's true, but I think what is infinitely more important are the questions it raises.

Because what is braver, what is more shattering to the status quo, than to question it? To dare to ask what if, to present an alternative, to pull an idea up to the witness stand and cross-examine it?

That's why when we see censorship, we need to look deeper. Because if an idea is truly that 'right', it will survive even the most intense of questioning, and even sceptics will have to accept its veracity. Why, then, are people so afraid of stories that question? Maybe it is because deep down, they aren't convinced themselves. They don't believe that their idea will survive the cross-examination. They are trying to keep a lie in power over the truth.

And art isn't about finding that elusive truth, it's about daring to look the lies in their face and say, maybe, maybe you're wrong. I don't know, you don't know, nobody may ever know, but maybe.

Like the Serpent of Eden, whispering, presenting that alternative of dissent to Eve. Not coercing. Not forcing her hand. But telling her that there is an alternative, whether good or bad.

That's why the writers, the artists, the musicians, those from every walk of the arts, are journalists interviewing society. We cannot allow ourselves to be silenced.

It's not about the answers offered, and whether someone agrees with them or not. It's about the questions, and if people fear the questions, maybe think about why that is.

[sokkastyles]

Hi, I’m finding it difficult to wrap my head around your (and some other meta writers) take on Sokka’s sexism and how writing a nonsexist society would be braver?

Why is it more brave to write a story without bigotry than one overcoming it?

Defensive Writing Section Where I Respond to What I Imagine You Could Respond With: 1) I know the original series did not succeed in, or even really try, empowering its women. 2) I know sexism is baked into the show and its romances. 3) I know Katara deserves better (but, this might be where we diverge, I don’t feel served by a reality/story where we pretend women’s domestic, unappreciated labor isn’t a pillar holding society up. Tbh it feels kinda disrespectful to keep that offscreen and media tends to downplay it as is). 4) I know the show isn’t out yet and we’re all guessing. I am picking your brain on your guess cause it confused me. 5.) Sokka’s arc is about maturing manhood and leadership, I’m afraid removing his sexism dodges an opportunity to explicitly deconstruct its toxic expressions. Again, I know the show was unsatisfactory with this the first go around.

Fan Mail Section Where I Attempt To Convey I Meant No Harm: Love your blog! Again, just confused.

First of all, I did not say that writing a nonsexist society would be braver or that the story should not have bigotry in it. What I said is that the story should have more adult women in it.

For example, I do enjoy Katara's story of struggling against feeling like she needs to take on a motherly role because of her gender. I think it's realistic because it's a conflict many girls face, and watching her fight against that can be cathartic. But what's harder to reconcile is the way the narrative goes out of its way to justify forcing this role on Katara. Not all of this can be chalked up to a sexist world. Kya being dead before the story begins was a decision the writers made, for example. I'm not necessarily saying that should be changed, but it is a common trope in media and it's a problem that women are disproportionately killed off to serve fictional narratives this way. Compare, for example, the way the story explains Hakoda's absence without killing him off entirely, and the fact that we know a heck of a lot more about him as a character than we do Kya. His absence is still used to characterize the heroes, to explain the struggle they face in a war-torn world, but he gets to be an active agent in the story, too.

Another example is that although a lot of Sokka's sexism stems from a lack of understanding of Katara's waterbending, which can be explained in the narrative by the fact that the FN has nearly eradicated southern waterbending, this does not explain why Katara wasn't taught more about her bending by her grandmother, who is both from the northern tribe and present when Hama and the other benders were taken. In the flashbacks in "The Puppet Master," we see that there were many women who used combat waterbending, and apparently waterbending healing was not even known in the south so there was no gendered division like in the north. There's no real reason why that should change so quickly in such a short amount of time to the point where the southern water tribe all of the sudden becomes this hugely sexist society where only men are known to fight.

Katara and Sokka are presented with opposite ideas about gender, but we don't have any real sense of where they got these ideas. I like to headcanon that Katara got her feminism from gran-gran, who fled the southern water tribe because of sexism, but it's strange then that Katara doesn't even know this story. Why is Kanna such a complete nonentity in the narrative, when her story is so important to the story the show wants to tell about Katara?

We get more backstory on Sozin than we do a lot of the adult women in the story, when they even show up. Zuko's mom is fridged just like Katara's, and although I love how this serves as a bonding point between them, it would be less glaring if Iroh's and Azulon's and Sozin's wives were also not nonentities in the narrative.

Someone commented on this post that the live action might be giving us Suki's mom. So let's look at how even this small change might effect the story. Even keeping in Sokka's sexism. Let's say that it does play out like in the original, and when they get to Kyoshi Island, Sokka is shocked - shocked! - to be beaten by a bunch of women. We're supposed to think Sokka is wrong. And he does get proven wrong. But the Kyoshi Warriors are still the exception to the rule. Sokka doesn't so much learn that women deserve respect as much as he learns to respect some women because they can kick his ass.

But, if we bring in Suki's mom, then suddenly Suki doesn't have to be the sole named character responsible for teaching Sokka not to be sexist. The story becomes less about how Sokka should respect women because some of them are cool and he'll get a girlfriend out of it, and more about how all women deserve the same respect, because we see more women just present and living in the world of the story.

I'd also like to ask everyone to take a step back here, because to my knowledge, the show never said it was taking out certain arcs or presenting the characters without narrative flaws. This all seems to stem from the young actors themselves saying merely that the show took out some "iffy" moments.

So what did they take out that Ian and Kiiawntio might be referring to? Maybe some of the anachronistic and, frankly, racist moments such as, for example, Sokka and Katara calling Zuko and Sokka's cultural hairstyles "ponytails." Which would make sense, considering that the show probably feels like they can trust their audience to accept hairstyles that might appear different to Americans moreso than the writers of the original show did, considering that this is not a show airing on American kids' cable in the early 2000s, but a modern show with a global and much more globally aware audience. These are the kinds of updates that I would expect from a modern live action series. And that is a very good thing.

I also trust the young actors of color playing these kids to say "hey, these kids would not actually talk like that!" More than I trust white writers and execs.

[discluded]

I'm so proud 🌈 of Apo for how brave he's always been.

In case you missed it since Apo never specifically said it in an interview, Tong spoke about having this conversation with Apo about how Apo viewed Porsche's character (I'm guessing Tong here means Porsche's gender preference... this is the official BOC subtitled version too, sigh.)

This is a companion to the Proud🌈 of Mile piece I wrote a while back. I've been wanting write one for Apo but it's very hard because it's obviously very hard for him to talk about too. Sometimes I when I get notes on the Mile one, I still feel shy about it (even though I don't think Mile is shy!) But someone needs to loudly celebrate both of their bravery! Especially Apo's!!

It takes a lot of courage to walk away from a career you love because you realize you're being not treated the way you're supposed to be. Especially when it's an art you love and you've gotten to a place that most people dream of. Let's not forget, Apo was quite famous as an actor in Thailand already before KinnPorsche. Not only is he a great actor, but he was building a reputation for himself and he chose to walk away from all of that, potentially permanently.

The kind of policing that Apo received of a young person's self-expression while working on the sets of Channel 3 has really detrimental effects on the psyche. I won't say too much about it because Apo is human and he's allowed off days and deserves the grace, but you can see glimpses of how being at an industry event full of industry people, some of whom may or may not have said shit to him in the past, inadvertently hit him at the Vogue Gala. Of course Apo had fun still and it was an amazing experience he got to share with Mile! But if that's how he felt like he had to police his own body language every day on set, I can see why he quit.

New York was so good for Apo because it allowed him to see that the problem was with the people around him, not with himself. When I was in my early 20s, I remember seeing a billboard in New York that said something along the lines of: "Here we judge you more for the shoes you wear than who you love." And ain't that the type of freedom Apo needed.

But when he got back from New York, he committed himself to making queer art.

How brave does he have to be in the first place to walk away from a career he loved because of the homophobic comments he got and knowing it wasn't right (and a reminder, he wasn't working on any BLs before KPTS), and then how much braver still to come back and say: you can't hurt me with what I own about myself. And, I want to make art that expresses it.

Make no mistake, I'm not commenting on Apo's sexuality here. He's asked us not to. But being queer, queerness isn't just about gender or sexuality. It's about identity, the struggles you go through; it's a political stance. Many queer musicians who've never been publicly linked to a same-sex partner have made art specifically to explore their queerness and grapple with violence they still are at the brunt of as a result of being part of society.

And Apo has let us know multiple times what his political stance is, the kinship he feels with expressed queerness. It's the way he came back home and owned the queer art he is a part of. It's the way he continuously expresses the humanity in the stories he's telling, and talks about in interviews how he sees that honesty in the story resonates with the audience.

Apo is a role model in not only how we should treat those around us, but a reminder that being kind to everyone includes being kind to yourself. Especially when society tries to tear you down.

[betterbemeta]

Yeah Dinotopia did this to me, I love art that depicts humans living and working with dinosaurs, its so cool

but like. we need to have a talk. there are two options for this scenario and both of them require human beings be a lot braver or more thoughtful than I think we are on average:

the dinosaurs are sapient. But bird intelligence is convergent evolution to mammal intelligence. Meaning that what we're really depicting is a society where humans and 'an alien species' have peacefully integrated: just, aliens separated by time from the same planet and not aliens separated by distance such as from another planet.

the dinosaurs aren't sapient. Human beings have sustained a military loss to emus, it's pretty hard to have a cassowary as your chill friend and most attacks have to do with feeding them, and most human beings tend to be wary or frightened of even middling-large birds such as geese, turkeys, swans, and that's without getting into predatory birds like eagles and condors. Human beings have domesticated birds and kept them as pets for a long time, but we're talking chickens, pigeons... 'exotic birds' kept as companion animals such as parrots aren't domesticated and we should understand how huge a commitment it is to keep them. Are we ready to be pals with a cockatiel the size of a donkey? How about larger than a rhinoceros?

I'm not slamming these as fantasy concepts. People love to depict Amazing Animal Companions and probably always have throughout history. But I think we can keep it fresh by coming at this with a smidge of realism. Your intelligent dinosaur friend may not be a human person in a lizard suit but instead an Extremely Large African Grey Parrot With Fingers. Or your Pet Dinosaur may be, uh, Loud And Broody if you don't put it to bed on time. How do you enforce bedtime and lights out for a creature that can thagomize your walls, and you? Carefully.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

4, 13, 18

4. Who is your ultimate Asian ql blorbo?

For those of you who consider Word of Honor a BL (which I do because of the original content) look no further than my user name for the most obvious response to this: Wen Kexing is my ride or die. That’s my sweet, murderous, summer child, and he has never done a single thing wrong in his life. 

For those of you who don’t consider Word of Honor a BL, I think I will have to give it to the wonderful, the marvelous…

Daisy from Secret Crush on You. 

I haven’t watched this show in awhile, but if there is one character who comes across my dashboard who I am immediately overcome with joy to see, it’s this lovely young woman right here. She’s just the sweetest person and I want nothing but happiness for her. 

13. Which Asian ql tropes get you every time?

Pinky touches, underwater kisses, any and all Happy!Sad boys, characters being asked “are you tired?”, food as love, characters being comforted in the midst of a nightmare, “I’m sorry I like you/boys/girls”, etc, etc, etc.

18. You get to pick a side character from two different qls to put in a show as a main pairing--who are you choosing and what kind of story is it?

Oh this is a fascinating question! Hear me out:

Archie from Marahuyo Project and Bas from I Told Sunset About You and I Promised You the Moon. 

If you know me, you know I love complicated characters who are good at heart and you know I love angst. So hear me out. Archie, my dear sweet boy, struggling incredibly hard with his own sexuality after the loss of a friend has a reasonably paced arc throughout Marahuyo Project where he is unable to come out by the end of the story, but he does help the Sea Creatures conduct their Pride parade by throwing rainbow confetti, so he’s starting to get a little braver. But it took the very patient and understanding love and support from Venice to get Archie to even move an inch. I think he might need someone like that to help him step back in to himself more fully. Bas is, as we know, that kind of person, and he respects himself enough to not get pushed around more than he can bear. He is very forgiving of Oh’Aew when they are together, but it comes to a point where he gives Oh up because he knows that Teh has a stronghold on him. 

If I made them a main pairing together, it would be one of those angsty but healing shows that digs in to the harsh realities of existing in a homophobic society, Archie’s internalized homophobia and grief, and how meeting someone like Bas helps him come into himself more. Archie gets love and support and Bas gets someone that won’t drop him every other day to run back to Teh. 

Asian QL Ask Game

[sexisdisgusting]

I don’t wear makeup, I don’t shave, and I don’t wear heels or dresses. I don’t even own any makeup products or razors or heels/dresses. I’ve done them occasionally throughout my life, but never consistently. And I don’t wish I did.

But sometimes I feel alienated from other women, especially the women on TV shows and movies. All of them have hairless legs and armpits, makeup on 24/7, and they wear impractical and constricting clothing meant “for women.” It’s so strange to me how I rarely ever see a female character portrayed in media without all of these things.

I talk to other women in real life, and so many of them seem to think it’s insane not to do these things either. I listen to them talk about how long their morning routine took because they had to put on a full face of makeup, or how annoying it is to them that they “have to” shave their legs because their boyfriend is coming over. I just don’t understand. It feels like I’m a different species than them sometimes.

And now it’s got me thinking about TIFs. A lot of them are/were like me -- they didn’t enjoy wearing makeup or shaving or wearing “feminine” clothing. They felt so different from the other women around them and they started to think that they weren’t like those women, as if they weren’t women at all. And I feel awful for these TIFs. It is hard being a gender non-conforming woman in this world. It can be strange and alienating and lonely.

But regardless of if we subscribe to these oppressive standards of “womanhood,” we are still women. And it is much braver to recognize and accept our sex and continue to not conform to gender roles than to try to pretend that we are a different sex altogether. That is the easy way out. And I understand why they want to take it. But at the same time I don’t.

We need more gender non-conforming women in this world. And it’s hard for that to happen when all the gender non-conforming women are told that their gender non-conformity is indicative of “transness.” When a woman acting/looking gender non-conforming is told to “take some T.” When historical gender non-conforming, especially lesbian, women are now being referred to as “transmen.”

How are we ever supposed to escape the oppressive gender stereotyping the patriarchy shoves down our throats like this? -🪽

wow this is incredibly intelligent and insightful i agree entirely, the world needs more gnc women happy in their own skin to show that you dont need to trans out just bc u dont fit society's idea of a woman

take this

[yellowbluemoonshine]

In one of your posts (the favorite ship list), you mentioned that Ochaco is the more "masculine" in IzuOcha relationship, care to explain the reasoning behind that assessment?

Soft Boy & Tough Girl

Yeah, sure, and here’s what i mean in this post when i said Uraraka is the ‘masculine one’ in their relationship;

Izuku is unique shounen character for having alive mother because most of the shounen male characters lost their mother in some way or another and  Izuku’s father doesnt seem to be around either. Which is also why having a loving mother is the reason why Izuku is soft.

Something i really like about Izuku’s character is; Izuku cries when he is sad. He just cries, feels scared and he doesnt feel shame for crying or being scared. He doesnt feel any shame for being vulnerable. And i really like that about him because it is really rare to see in a male character.

Traits traditionally viewed as masculine in Western society include strength, courage, independence, leadership, and assertiveness.

Basically, Izuku is not masculine guy. He doesnt have any strength, he is scared, he is more follower type than leader, he has very low esteems. Especially at the start of series. This is who Izuku is.

He is just a normal boy and the reason i like this is because in media, we get many male characters who is most likely masculine, most of the time, they suffer from toxic masculinity, they feel insecure and lash out and sadly, audience seems to like it.

And later in series, even Deku gets stronger, even he gets confidence, become leader, or braver, he is not trying to look himself more masculine. He is not trying to dominate other people in any way. Basically, he doesnt show toxic masculinity.

And i like Izuku is not like that. We always gets to see bad examples of when a boy shows his vulnerable, he gets to hear ‘you are not man enough’, ‘you have to be strong’ but i like that story tells Izuku opposite.

‘Is your burden so heavy that it doesnt even let you cry? It looks like something you should share with us.’

Also when Izuku says 'heroes dont cry', Shouto is the one who reminds him again that its okay to cry. (This is also why i ship Tododeku too.)

The thing is some people is more sensitive to emotions, some people cry more easiely than others and thats how Izuku is. Izuku is very soft boy, he is very empathic, he is sensitive to other people’s emotions and he cry easiely and that is okay.

Compared to Izuku, Ochaco is kinda opposite.

She is tomboy but not your usual tomboy you see in media. She is not wearing boy clothes or extreme feminine clothes. She is just tough and she has the confidence. She wears whatever she feels comfortable with. Its like it doesnt matter to her and i love that.

Though, Ochaco is the one who seems to repress her sadness and any other negative feelings compared to Izuku who shows it freely. Which is why i think Ochaco is comfortable with him, even in novel she says, the first day at school seeing Izuku like that made her comfortable because she realized she wasnt the only one who felt nervous.

Also, unlike the ‘boy save the girl’ trope, in their relationship, its opposite. Its the ‘girl saves the boy’. Ochaco is Izuku’s hero since day one. The fact that before he was powerless, before the time he proved his worth to others, the fact that she showed kindness to him means a lot to Izuku. She was always kind to him, even when he was at his worst. Their helping each others happens too. Ochaco feels admiration towards him and think about him a lot, (writing has its flaws) but whenever Izuku thinks about his most important people in life, she is always part of it.

And another reason why i like izuocha and not other ships with her that much is because even though, Izuku was never masculine guy, Ochaco doesnt seem to see him as less guy or less attractive. Actually, seeing him so true to himself is what makes him attractive to her. Instead of populer guys in her class such as Bakugou who is good example of toxic masculinity or Shouto who seems tough and perfect, at least from outside. She just loves Izuku. She loves the boy whom everyone sees him as loser but to her, he was never a loser, she never sees him crying as annoying or bad thing, it is just part of him and she accepts it. And not only Ochaco doesnt mind Izuku's being vulnerable but also Izuku doesnt mind being protected by her, it doesnt feel him any inferior, actually it only makes him happy.

And when Izuku is vulnerable, instead of judging him, she holds his hand and says ‘Its okay’ and she is like ‘i am gonna protect this boy’. Unlike the usual romance where men always protect the women, Ochaco protects Izuku and thats fine because it doesnt matter if its a boy or girl. The one who needs help deserves to be protected. In this relationship, boy is the more vulnerable and emotional one and she helps him. Thats okay, this is normal, this is what healthy, supportive relationship is.

And this is the reason i love Izuocha at first place. Yes, writing has so much flaws but i love their origin relationship. And i hope we get better writing but well, its very nice ship.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Ten (Part 2)

I smile and shake my head, because I’m sure that I won’t be. Jude shuffles on the bed to readjust himself, and when he settles, his leg is resting against mine. It’s warm, mine feels cold. I notice it and wait for him to move but he doesn’t, so I just let our skin touch, and I get a shiver from my toes to the top of my head.

“When you go to Berlin,” I start. “Will you know anybody else there?”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m going on my own, which I’m kind of excited about.”

“Scared though?”

“Yeah, a little bit I suppose. More excited.”

“I think I’d be scared to leave and be away from everybody I know.”

“Yeah, I get that, but I wasn’t really thinking that way when I applied for university there, it was honestly more about the experience I’d have and what I’d learn from doing my degree there.” He shrugs “Plus when I applied I didn’t actually think I’d be going on my own.” 

“No?”

“My girlfriend at the time and I applied together, actually, but she didn’t get in. It was brutal, we got our letters on the same day. Art schools work like that sometimes, they send their offers out earlier than other courses because your Leaving Cert points aren’t important. I got accepted and she didn’t, so it was a bad day.”

“So you decided to go alone anyway?”

“Yeah it felt like the best choice for me, I just didn’t see myself being in Ireland anymore, I don’t want to waste my early twenties in this horrible recession, and I don’t want to graduate into it with no job prospects. I just need to get away from it.”

“and your girlfriend?”

“We broke up. We called it quits before our exams. I didn’t want to put her through the long distance thing, like, honestly I didn’t want to put myself through it, because I knew I couldn't handle that. I really just… I don't want any attachments when I go, like, no responsibilities towards anybody else. Having a relationship while trying to navigate the changes that are ahead of me,” He shakes his head. “It would be too hard.”

“Wow. How long were you together?”

“Almost a year.”

That seems like forever to me. Nobody I know has been in a relationship for that long. “It must have been a hard decision.”

“It was, she’s a great person.”

“Well you can always get back together at some point in the future, you know, like maybe someday when you graduate…” I don’t continue because he’s already shaking his head no. 

“I don’t think so – It’s just over, I can’t really see us picking up where we left off, like, nothing to do with her or the relationship per se. It’s just that I feel like I can’t ever go backwards, once it’s done, it’s done for me. I just don’t really hang on to other people in that way.”

I think about how I do. I’m a clinger and I always have been, so his philosophy on life is totally foreign to me, just like the idea of jetting off to some unknown city all on my own without speaking the language or knowing how a single thing in its society operates. I think that he’s much braver than I am for doing it, but I’m a little sad that he’s going. Maybe in a parallel universe he and I would have attended the same art college and been friends who hung around in Dublin together after our respective classes, sitting outside coffee shops in the city and talking about art and sculpture and our silly assignments, but none of that will happen. In a few weeks he’ll be gone forever and I will likely never get to see him again. 

I look down at our legs and move mine away from his. Perhaps it’s not a good idea for us to be touching after all. 

“You look a little sleepy.” He says to me gently, and I am. I’m more than sleepy. It’s so late now that I must be awake for almost forty hours straight, running purely on the last shreds of adrenaline from being with him, but as soon as he mentions sleep my eyelids feel so heavy, and even the hard, flat wall that my back rests against feels cosy. I’m certain I could doze off in this exact position. I admit it, “I am.”

“Then sleep. I’ll leave.”

“Okay.”

He makes a tiny movement towards me and then hesitates and begins to get up. “Okay Evie, I’ll see you again soon.” 

I reach out my weary arms for a hug goodbye and when he leans in to embrace me my face grazes his neck, and he’s warm and his arms are strong and I wonder what the consequences would be if I let myself fall asleep on him right there and then. Maybe he’d be forced to stay here with me all night.

“I’ll text you when I’m free to hang out again.” He says, letting me go.

“Mm”

I lay down to sleep on the bed. The blankets are so warm from where he was sitting. 

Before my eyes drift closed and I surrender to my exhaustion I glimpse him climbing nimbly out the window and hopping down onto the grass outside, disappearing into the darkness and leaving the gauzy curtains fluttering behind him. It’s like he was never even here. 

Prev // Next

[stormblessed95]

I saw the ask you reblogged and I agree a 100%. Maybe it's because I'm Asian but it really confuses me when I see the attitude of some of the anons. I know people joke about a glass closet, but please guys, if they are gay, then they really are in the closet. Because like maybe sometime in the future, they'll come out - if attitudes change like compare the US in the 80s to the US today that's some really significant change - but at this current point they are in the closet so they'll never reveal info without some kind of plausible deniability. Plus JK and JM are in an industry where they still call it a 'scandal' sometimes to just regularly date someone.

Guys you can't imagine how much people's perception of you changes if you had to come out as gay in a conservative society (if you're lucky enough to live somewhere where it's not illegal). Like I'm lucky my family got cool with it (eventually) but there's no way I'd actually tell my extended family or people at work or casual friends. Even among people I know, the amount of 'jokes' or stereotypes I hear, I guess I'd rather just not deal with any of that.

I actually think they're both so very brave already, like releasing gcf Tokyo, the rosebowl thing, the hickey thing - I'm surprised those even exist. I guess even if we hate the fanservice narrative, they can still use that as some kind of cover to stay true to their relationship as much as possible in the public.

And last thing I specially wanted to shout out to Jimin. That photofolio where he all but came out as bi actually chokes me up even now. He didn't have to but he still did it to stay true to himself. He's so much braver than someone like me and he inspires me so much

I live in the US, and STILL it's a similar experience alot of the time how people's perception of you changes once you come out. And depending on where in these more accepting countries you live, it's not always that accepting. But anyways, thanks for sharing your opinions. I agree fully. My ask box is crazy full, I won't be sharing all the asks like this I get, but I promise I'm reading them all. Even the ones that disagree with me (and anon here).

[captainkurosolaire]

X4 ~ Therapy

Reference ~ Mending Past ~ ♪"Transgender"♪

Fidgeting callous digits drew together, coral incense diffuser carried a eucalyptus scent to tranquil nerves being judder, open nasal-ways passages to breathe palpably again. The bold standing in the seat never felt this got anymore untroubled. Plunged-seeking for help from a dearest hearty found himself comfortable to confine in. Instinctively airing out, grievances, pain bottled within, wasn’t natural. It was attempting to relearn or change nature altogether. Kinsmen would call this act by being here, a sign of definitive weakness. They’d shun him even further, mocking his stake as a man, calling his pride pitiful… Artificially determined by underachievers of our society. However to expose your vulnerabilities, requires unprecedented power. Grit against that lingering, nagging feeling when your entire existence wants to crawl away. Is contesting against what’s supposed to be ‘nature.’ Upon this lounge seat, he was never-braver. A pirate-chasing after the grandest treasure, all forget-to-often, Tormented inner seas to navigate and master; Self-discovery! If someone were to acquire all the wealth in that… One must have to wonder, where’d they stand? Perhaps higher… Of a place not-yet charted to the fullest.

Sweat drenched palms, his throat gulped and dried before, “Ugh, this feels like I’m on a casting-couch n’ th’ local Red-Light District, tryna’ get some virgin hole’s stretched this Sennight.” Doing what often did to everyone who came in-contact, crudely buried and joked it away. Mocking his own feelings-until it was numb, displacing their noise. Throwing a popcorn-shrimp into his mouth with snacks on display, Council was also his Chef aboard too. Across from patient, a kind-hearted, Sea Roe and motherly-like maiden, giving a small-giggle at his remark, “It’s okay. We can wait for you to lax, this isn’t something we need to force open. There’s no-fires, here Cap’n. You’re safe, waves outdoors from us, under that sail-breeze accompanied.” She stumbled-across him when concerned, after nearly-dying from experimenting on narcotics and mixing strong-rum together one-night. Without her keen-observance the Sea Maiden didn’t notice his eyes incoherently devoid of sense, that faithful-Sun. She would’ve been too-late. Suffering more scars-than physically the canvas conveyed on him. Early on taking a mantle. Faltering when it came to multiple Crews. Incurring, mutinies, several enemies, known. Or lurking within depths of the unknown. Bounties that became steep from his escapades of fearlessness. Always targets at his back the moment he donned the inherited Tricorn Hat. From fallen Cap’n who founded this Goldbrand. Inside that-wee-bit part of us that holds us back ushering, whispering like a conniving parasite. Crept-in, saying to flee, run-away. Holding us back from growth-ushering and flourishing. It often won. Looking for any way to get-off-the-hook, from achieving anything, may lead to either happiness or deemed-fortune. Important to often resist that insignificant-part. To combat this requires a shout of frustration, and committing to your declared steps to truly heal. “What would ye’ like t’ ask?” Nerves turned to stone, a deep-inhale taken and exhalation followed. Amusement, candle-lit her visage, before an earnest-smile followed, “We’ll start discussing, what brings you thrill, fulfillment? You’ve a coffer of stories, Captain. They’re written not just upon but through you. Acquiring a healthy outlet to release them may help you astutely, or give room to castaway and relinquish unnecessary weight.” She had an ease sharing empathic attributes. Every emotion someone underwent was her own. Devilishly uprooted, a no-good expression of debauchery collected his features, “Ye sure about that? I could go-listing many pleasurable affairs with vivid details. Can’t say none of those experiences weren't a thrill. Worth th’ voyage my partners I’d bet could vouch fellow sentiments.” Looking to stir-up or shake, but she didn’t waver. Expecting to have her roll-her-eyes, give up on him before starting, hopelessly. As many before-her claimed to be ears. Was obvious she would’ve listened to anything. Nothing could deter her aid, cradled around him knowing just his actual hurt. This what a true-friend exhibited; a Crew? Uncanny, selfishness often was prime here, a believed-necessity. Expect everyone with a knife-of-betrayal equipped Loyalty, if held, resided the strongest-currency. Not glinted gold nor silver.

Bested by her with a pout, seriousness followed his features loosened actually thinking of what her words asked. “I guess seeing dreams realized ov’ others. Particularly my mateys anymore is enough satisfaction. I’ve held many wonders upon this realm. I scoured formerly n’ my shade, claiming Voidal Relics, t’ lost treasures left forgotten and barren. Every-time, I felt further from complete. Would-think with the infamy and power I was collecting, even the fortune I had. There’s no way I wouldn’t feel a sense of freedom sought or grandness. Regardless a gap waged between. Acquiring those ambitious endeavors took extreme sacrifices, not always on my account. I asked much ov’ my fellows. Two-men on the crew who were lovers had much to still-live on and found eachother in my stead, recently-wed, n’ they willingly chased after these materialistic-gains, fer me…  One voyage, required t’ see a difference-make against a War of the Depths that came t’ our shores. Despite their commitment to each other that adventure was seen-through by them. It’d prove the last-moment they shared together. One of them became corrupted, tainted by a relic’s influence, consumed ov’ ration, and killed their own heart; the very partner.” Broke-down and strings inside holding his composure, snapped. Quivering in his voice to encounter realization, “W-what, kind of Cap’n does that? I kept getting my hearties killed! Thwarting away futures not my claim t’ take. Cause of selfishness, greed, to prevent others from having all th’ cards n’ their own coffer? What th’ HELL was th’ justification!? They should still be together…” Balling his fist, nails-delving into his palm until bled. She wrote notes on her clip-board before setting it down. Unknowingly a part of her… Slumbering was strictly-involved in that War of the Depths. Reincarnation of the very-prime-foe. Even beyond both their known. Captain felt it instinctively during their meeting. Soon washed away the notion and mistrusted his own instinct. Because it wasn’t all-true. She demonstrated a whole difference to the advisory, formerly named Siren among Sirens in mythos, who orchestrated and owned an Empire at Depths of the Rohtano. Calmly and understanding from his perspective, “Cap’n we can’t carry everything outside us and blame our shoulders for not staying upright, otherwise we anchor and quickly follow-pursuit of the dead. You said it yourself they willingly followed and saw crucially a mission you-mentioned for that War? What would’ve happened if they didn’t? I’ve to bet more lives lost; War unfortunately is that, there’s no real-fortune any side attains. Always loss-occurs. Think they would-agree that was in-vain? Would they-be any happier or rested souls, knowing their Captain they shared who guided them to another foremost, sabotaged and chained himself because of their behalf? Your survival has a lot of guilt, it’s harmful.” Lowering herself to extend the reach of voice, it never once, impacted a sense of thought or deep-truth to reflect in. Frustration was being quelled, she further descended down to pull him from shallow-bellows of torment. 

As-if her spirit was diving to rescue him, where misery and sorrow; drowns their victims. She attempted to explain with insightful unfathomable wisdom, “Perception carries and decides our reality. Instead of seeing your failure, think of victory. You won in some semblance a War, a tremendous feat; prevailing over it. Every-breath you take on carries extra-life of every fallen hearty you said goodbye, departed to those early sea-bed graves. Look what’ve you achieved, how you’ve mustered courageously, standing against that Past. You’re able to discern; what’s wrong or is containing your gravity. Wallowing is dangerous, making people stuck in-limbo, devouring the Future and preventing a Present from ever-leaving unwelcome shadows. One foot of yours seems to be stuck on shore. While another contemplates a leap to the tides. I’m not saying to forget. I’m saying to swim with your knowledge and experience, forward, forward, forgiving forward.” Her words didn’t instantaneously make a difference, but they were making-brief dents. Never-valuing or understood forgiveness especially towards one-self. Wasn't it easier to quickly throw down the hatch a few-pints of bottomless ale, hasten numbness? No-one wanted to confront-this, or themselves. Burdened with confronting our own burdens. Pain happens when caring. In-the-deep the rulers residing; sharks swam in this manner. Forward, never deterring. It’s all they knew, otherwise they lose breathing, resulting in death. Yet they reigned and exhibited lessons. Captain felt a lighter-sense of him wasn’t an instantaneous recovery but a progressive, steadied one. “Thanks Slafhota, I’ll see ye’ n’ Seven Sun’s same time, aye?” For first-session, it already felt like a right-step towards entering that tide becoming a king of his depth.