anyway happy 1 year to this blog that’s what i came here to say
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jsyk there's been an update on nex's pronouns and it's been said they actually preferred he/him pronouns, although people did use they/them for him. (https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/vigil-friends-remember-nex-benedict-fiery-kid-rcna140440)
Thank you for telling me! I'm also glad to see an interview with friends of Nex. Its good to see people remembering his life.
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joshua stirs awake at the feeling of you climbing into bed. he usually does for a minute, just long enough to acknowledge your presence, and he's already shutting his eyes when you settle in. then he hears the quietest hiccup, and he's already starting to wake up.
"hey... joshy?"
even if your voice wasn't so uneven and wobbly, joshua would have known you were upset. he's never joshy to you unless you are. he's joshua when you're speaking to or about him casually, josh when you're on the phone with your mom, shua when you're tired, and my evil, pretty boyfriend pretty much any other time. joshy is when you're upset and need to say it without saying too much. he knows how much you hate talking when you just want to cry and be held.
"c'mere," he's already sitting up and opening his arms to you. "it's gonna be okay... i'm here, my love."
my love is his way of saying everything he needs to say in moments like these: i'll keep you safe and i love you and you can cry now, i've got you. it's not the only name he has for you, but you always know what he means when he drops it oh-so-casually (always so in tune with when you're starting to get upset). one instance of 'my love' is enough to tell you he'll have the car waiting if you get your coat, or he'll make up a lie to leave early if you say it back, or he'll follow your lead if you fake sick.
you take refuge in his arms, and he's already curling them around you to hold you, safe and secure as always. you let out this quiet, shudder-y breath as you finally let go and break down in his arms. if you want to talk about it, you'll talk about it when you're done. he just strokes your back, his eyes fluttering shut as he holds you through this storm.
and he'll hold you when you resurface from underneath those waves, too, sealing the action with a soft my love just to sweeten it all.
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Here's a blinky while I loose my mind btw. Emotional support blinkous
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