Also just because I've been getting some harassing anons and replies on my post ever since that one self-identified Zionist blog got BIG MAD at me for posting the Palestinian flag (ironic considering like 3 days later when I reblogged something Jewish I had people then BIG MAD at me for that too.......)
Skoll, I took on knowing I would probably have to euthanize him for his aggression. From the very beginning the deal was that I was his last stop since he was a known abuse court case dog who was taken from his most recent owners and languishing in a kennel environment but deemed otherwise unadoptable due to severe aggression. The agreement was that I would have him for however long it would take to determine if he was fixable and then either I'd fix it and keep him or I'd euthanize. He bit me three separate times when we were still learning each other, and then attacked me randomly for the crime of petting his head, an act of affection he normally would approach me to request. I euthanized him at the advice of literally everyone involved with his case, and a few days after I euthanized him I got a letter from the state telling me either I put him down or animal control would take him and do it themselves. Pennsylvania is very strict on what they consider a mauling or a maiming and the resulting bite from his attack was very severe. I have had multiple people, including vets, neurologists, and behaviorists, tell me that they think he had rage, a seizure disorder which causes uncontrollable aggression, when I describe what his random bouts of attempting to attack literally the first thing he locked eyes on looked like.
Tiki, I rescued because I wanted a tiny dog and a dog that would live longer than a doberman, because dobe lifespans are hideously short due to their health problems. Within about 5 minutes of driving away with her, I realized she was very, very sick. We stopped at the vet before we even got her home. Over the next several months and constant ER visits we discovered she had hydrocephalus and also an immune condition that was slowly eating her lungs. She crashed during a procedure that was supposed to be our last attempt at fixing the lung problem as by then we knew the hydrocephalus would kill her anyway and we were trying to extend her life as long as possible. I dropped her off for the procedure, they called me on my way home, and I turned around so I could be there to say goodbye.
Creed died from cancer 🤷♂️ mast cell cancer is THE most common cancer in dogs as a species and it's a genuine coin toss if removing the initial tumor fixes it or if it's too late by the time you notice, because it forms on scar tissue so it hides by looking like a regular scar. Creed had a bunch of nicks and scrapes from running around in the woods on our hikes. One of the earliest scars he ever got is what killed him in the end. Losing him is what turned my blog from what it used to be, all dogs all the time, to what it is now. Ironically, he lived roughly the average lifespan for a doberman at 7.5 years old.
Phoebe, I was not involved in the decision to euthanize her. She came to me once again very sick, and I did my best to fix the problem, but it seemed to be a lot bigger than me or her other owner had expected. Her other owner took her to multiple specialists more local to her, and finally we came to a tentative diagnosis of a liver shunt. Her condition degraded rapidly and she went blind and began having seizures, and her other owner made the choice to say goodbye. Surgery was not an option due to her already bad condition not being certain she would actually survive anesthesia. I knew that she was not doing well, but I was not informed that she had died until several months later, despite my asking for updates because I suspected she'd passed. I don't disagree with the choice, I just wish I'd known when it happened. What we thought was just a chronic hookworm infestation and possible pancreatitus from the long-term damage from the hookworms turned out to be much more serious, and deadly, when it stopped responding to treatment.
If you have any questions on my capability as a dog owner to actually keep dogs alive, I'd like to direct you to the fact that Creed and my other actually-purchased-from-a-breeder dogs have lived good long lives. I keep getting sick dogs in rescue despite being told they are healthy, and that is exactly why I refuse to rescue dogs anymore. I'm tired of breaking my heart while cleaning up a problem someone else created. This is the part of rescue that doesn't get shared- what happens when someone loses the rescue lottery again and again and again with sick and mentally unwell dogs that are doomed to die before they've had a chance to truly live? I'm tired of being that someone. I'm tired of loving dogs and hemorrhaging money in a desperate attempt to fix them and feeling the weight of their bodies in my arms when that wasn't enough and they die anyway.
At least I can say Creed had a good fulfilled life as my constant companion, even if he didn't live nearly long enough compared to what I wanted.
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After hearing my boyfriend and sister talking about it I decided to start In Stars and Time, and I can already feel the obsession starting. And I've always been entertained by other people's liveblogs, so I thought I'd do one this time.
Ate a star in a very Miyazaki-esque scene
Peeoo peeo is a very good sound and I have instantly bonded with Siffrin for both their knowledge of language and birds
Quest issued: convince everyone to come to a sleepover
Advice from my sister: The first rule of In Stars and Time is be yourself and have fun.
I appreciate a good magical power where you know it's magic because it's Capitalized
v amused by "going further than the first room of the house is considered very rude." Mme stylish one why do you have your unmentionables in the most accessible room in your house?
Me: Oh no, King's Curse?
Sister: And not even the regular curse of living in a monarchy!
Calling this one depression.jpeg
Can no longer relate to Siffrin after discovering that they hate croissants. Also very suspicious about this coin now.
I was already thinking that Odile reminded me of an exhausted Peridot SU when she broke out the line "Oh gems." Intrigued as to what she's researching.
Everyone successfully recruited to sleepover!
Because I am Oblivious™ I sincerely thought Isabeau had wanted to deliver a stupid joke and then realized he didn't have anything in the tank once he got Siffrin's attention. This tracks with my personal life. (Both the obliviousness and the desire to deliver stupid jokes at all times.)
Because we just watched Ladyhawke we all agreed that Isabeau's secret is that he's secretly a hawk.
Into the House of Change! I'm tickled by how this feels like the end of a game, great design choice.
Extremely correct opinion and why I wear a carabiner. I forgive you your inexplicable dislike of croissants, Sif.
Hey, House of Change? Why do you even have a death corridor?
(I suppose in a sense death is the ultimate change.)
Oops, I have undergone the ultimate change.
Stop bullying yourself, Sif. Your skills are leet and your hat is dashing.
Siffrin is dealing with having died and being yanked back to the day before much better than I would, even if he's saying things like "Yes. Correct. I was taking nap time."
Square bracket voice? Intriguing.
Loop's little feet kickies are adorable. I don't trust them as far as I could throw them. The star eating dream from the beginning has me thinking that Loop is somehow bound to help us, perhaps against their will.
concern.jpeg
Well, time to head back into the castle!
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It's time for a sequel! My last essay post was about the thematic relationship between standard Persona 5 and the added Royal content, and there I said that I'd do another little writeup on individuality in that context. I'm going to assess it especially regarding the Royal Trio. So here it is! As always, spoilers, you've been warned.
(This is post-finishing-the-writeup extensionallydefined here - this one's a long one, get ready! It gets into character study territory, yay!)
So, I wanna approach this topic from the lens of the characters of Akechi and Sumire. They're two characters whose individuality and autonomy are heavily put into question in Maruki's desired reality. But before we discuss them.
In Maruki's reality: 1. Your suffering is eliminated. 2. Your wishes are granted.
These are its two basic precepts. In the case of people like Akechi and Joker, it's stated that reality has been rewritten in such a way that they didn't commit any crimes. If we follow Morgana's logic of the world being a product of cognition only, then we can assume that this was done by altering everyone's memory to remember a world where the mental shutdowns and changes of heart never happened.
This means that people's prior actions and lives can be altered via perception, and we can see that this can happen to the individual themselves too - It follows that if Futaba fully believes her mother to be alive, she does not remember anything that happened during, at the very least, her Palace arc during the game - including the choices she made during it.
This means that Maruki's reality fundamentally alters people's perception of their own identity. It's no secret that people's memories are one of if not the most constitutive part of their identities, so if Maruki can change someone's memories, he can change their identity itself.
I wonder, if Maruki deems that someone's identity causes them too much pain and suffering in relation to their desires, is he willing to change it? And if someone desires their identity to be overwritten, will he do it? The answer is yes to both: Akechi is the first case, and Sumire corresponds to the second question. Oh hey! It's like the Royal Trio have very relevant thematic connections!
Let's do Akechi first, since my posts here are thinly-veiled Akechi propaganda in the end. Akechi's whole "thing" is that he's been under others' control his whole life, and he's been putting on different kinds of masks to achieve his goals. Personally, I believe both "Detective Prince Akechi" and "Black Mask Akechi" are not "the real Akechi".
Detective Prince Akechi corresponds to his public persona - the Ace Detective, the celebrity. He goes on talk shows and acts nice, he's a hero of justice, and his sole purpose is uncovering the truth.
This is a mask, of course - He doesn't have that much regard for the truth, and although he does seek his justice in a way, it is not the one he preaches online. His Detective Prince mask is the one that, as he says himself, he uses so that someone will want him around.
On the other hand, we have the Black Mask persona (Holy shit Persona reference?) he utilizes. This one is definitely more genuine than the regular Akechi, but I think his ruthlessness when acting as Black Mask, especially before 3rd semester, is forced as well. I think too many people forget what Ryuji says before his fight:
I actually agree with Ryuji's theory here. I think Akechi needed to force himself to go psychotic to fight the Phantom Thieves after losing the first time. His Black Mask persona is one where he lets himself be controlled by his anger and his thirst for revenge, it's his mask of *Spite*. It's the one that pretends to hate Joker (which is partly why Morgana telling him that he doesn't hate Joker is one of the things that prompts him to use Loki on the PTs). Maybe I'll write more about this if I ever do a deep dive on him, but for now, know this: Akechi's Black Mask is what it says on the tin, a Mask.
The real Akechi is somewhere in between, and somewhere else entirely at the same time. I think the fully genuine Akechi is the one we see in Joker and Akechi's interactions during the Third Semester. He's more than just Robin Hood and Loki. He's the Akechi that can awaken to Hereward.
The thing is - the real Akechi is the way he is because of what led him to develop those masks. Even if they are his "personas", they're still parts of him, born of his pain and suffering and his struggle to get what he thinks he wants.
And that's the thing, isn't it? Maruki denies him that. He takes away his crimes - So he at least takes away Black Mask Akechi. During 3rd Sem, Akechi is aware of this, but in the "accept Maruki's reality ending", the PTs and Akechi are totally chill, described as friends - like nothing bad ever happened.
That's not our Akechi.
That's a sanitized, perfect little version of Akechi that Maruki thinks is the best one for Akechi. But in a way, he's taking away the life and identity that Akechi built for himself - He doesn't think that the flawed Akechi deserves to live. And if you, Joker, decide to take Maruki's reality? That's the ultimate betrayal. You tell Akechi to his face that you prefer the perfect version of him. You're just like the foolish masses that rally behind the Detective Prince - you want the version of him that's happy all the time and can do no wrong. Choosing Maruki's reality is an affront to Akechi's agency, that much is obvious - but it's also a betrayal of his wishes and a violent attack against his very sense of identity.
It's ironic, isn't it? Even if Maruki presents his reality as the one where Akechi lives, that's not our Akechi... So he dies either way. Except if we fight Maruki, he maintains his autonomy til the end, and if you ranked him up to rank 10... his death is still ambiguous.
(And if you're a Shuake enjoyer like me, be it for their platonic, romantic or whatever-they-got-going-on-over-there dynamic... This is just perfect angst material. Chef's kiss.)
After this whole Akechi rant (Goodness me this is turning out Really long I hope I can keep people's attention sksks), let's take a look at Sumire.
Sumire is someone who wants her personality to be overwritten. She does not want to live as someone who led her own sister to die. She wants to be the vessel through which Kasumi's goals are fulfilled. She wants to be Kasumi.
But what does it mean for Sumire to be Kasumi? If we follow our logic, it means that Sumire has to die. She disappears. Her self-perception has to be altered to such an extent that she will not exist anymore, but rather an amalgamation of what Sumire thinks Kasumi is like, what Maruki thinks Sumire wants and Sumire would be born out of the actualization of her wishes. In a way, what Sumire is saying is... she wishes she was the one who died that day instead of her sister. But she still wants to help her sister fulfill her wish. So, instead of just telling Maruki "I want my life exchanged for my sister's" she says she wants to become Kasumi altogether. Kasumi can live through her, bringing the sisters together.
Sumire wants to lose her individuality. Akechi does not. This makes them clash directly. But in the end, Sumire accepts that 1. Her sister was more flawed than how she saw her. 2. She should carry on her sister's wish because it was their collective wish. 3. She should do it as herself, because she has as much worth as Kasumi. So, she ends up carrying on Kasumi's wish, but without losing her identity and creating the "Kasumire" that we meet during the base game. "Beauty in devotion", as they say.
So, in conclusion, what does Maruki's reality do for individuality? It prioritizes the reduction of suffering and the fulfillment of wishes above the subject's self-perception. In the end, Maruki's actualization works through changing cognition - And if cognition is a part of ourselves, well... In a way, we could say that the person whose wishes Maruki grants disappears in favour of a version of themselves whose wishes have been granted. Autonomy-wise, even if Maruki grants people's conscious wishes, it's not like he asked: "Hey, would you wanna live in a new reality with all these philosophical implications?" I think he realizes this to an extent, which is why he allows the Phantom Thieves and Akechi to challenge him.
First, he prioritizes dialogue, but he knows conflict may be unavoidable. "May the strongest will decide our fate" - something like that.
Maybe my point of view is very anti-Maruki, and I'm not trying to hide it. I was against Maruki from day 1, just like Akechi. (To be clear, I don't hate the guy, I love him as a character, but we have vastly different worldviews). I highly value individuality and autonomy and I don't subscribe to Maruki's brand of utilitarianism/hedonism. But I think these rough kinds of trains of thought are the ones that P5R demands from us, and I love it for that. I think my next essay will be about Maruki and death, relating P5 to P3 and Maruki's utilitarianism to Nietzschean ideas of life-denying slave-morality. Yeah, we're going deep into the philosophy sauce in the next one. I hope you'll stick with me for that!
(Btw I added images by popular demand - I hope they help with reading!)
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Amity parkers are feral and insane
-Gothamites.
Somehow, someway, Casper high finds their selves in Gotham.
It could be a field trip or a ghost shoved them in a portal, doesn't matter, they're in Gotham.
As they arrive in Gotham, the Casper teachers decide to turn this into something educational and hire a tour guide from Gotham Academy (or was it Gotham university? I forgot) GA agrees and also Sends some of their students to partner up with the amity parkers as a sort "buddy" and to hopefully teacher em the ways of surviving in Gotham.
To the gothamites, the amity parkers look like children who have never been exposed to crime in their life, never been mugged, never been been kidnapped.
But the truth is, compared to the BS amity is used to, Gothams issues are like kindergarten.
First thing the tour guide hears when she greets Casper high Mr lancer telling them to, "Please don't walk into danger, please don't try and provoke the joker, I know he's a bitch but still. If you find yourself in a tricky situation, do not hesitate to punch yourself to freedom, but ABSOLUTELY NO CRITICAL HITs these are NORMAL people they're not like us or the ghosts, they will not survive. Please do not give phantom problems, He's already failing in class he doesn't need more problems"
Its important to keep in mind that:
amity parkers and ghosts are buddies now.
The Ambient ectoplasm gave them a form of super strength, also making it so that they are able to touch ghost.
They join the ghost brawls everyone in a while and has some wins.
Most, if not all are liminal in a way.
Everyone knows that Danny is phantom but have signed an NDA that says they aren't allowed to tell anyone who isn't a native amity parker who he is.
Things is, The gothamites don't know about this and take it as if Mr lancer and the students are underestimating Gotham. So as a from of pettiness, all the Gotham students decided to bring their amity partner to the most dangerous places they can think of.
Niky has lead sam into a park that poison ivy frequents. Of course, poison ivy is there but instead of running away in fear like niky expected, Sam runs up to ivy, complements her and joins the path of eco terrorism.
Tucker and his partner Vic finds himself in the middle of a riddler attack, locked in a room with no way out, a countdown timer with 20 secs remaining and a riddle in a computer.
Vic is panicking as he tries to figure it out, he looked to tucker for help. Tucker just shrugged and hacked the computer, not even bothering to solve the riddle. It worked and Vic is baffled and the riddler is frustrated.
Danny find himself in the hands of the joker, (his partner ran the moment joker was seen) hanging upside down on top of a large pool of acid, because, it's classic for joker. He is also being live streamed.
The teachers in GA are panicking, the bats are panicking.
Casper high teacher took one look at the stream and shrugged. "Eh, he'll be fine." They also called the number that joker has displayed on the screen, just to say, "Daniel Fenton, make sure your back before in GA 6 pm or else were leaving you to find the hotel on your own."
The time is 5:30 pm.
It takes 25 minutes to walk from Joker to GA.
Danny sighs, might as well start walking.
He uses intangibility to free himself and fall into the vat of acid.
The Gothamites are shocked and screaming, the bats are shocked. Amity parkes went "oh" and continued placing bets on how fast Danny will get back.
Danny then proceeds to swim out of the acid pool, punch the joker in the face, knocking him out in a single hit and then proceeds to casually squeeze out the acid from his Casper high "I am a proud amitian" shirt as if it's regular water.
All of this was done in 5 minutes.
All of this was caught on stream.
The Gothamites are passed out, the bats are questioning everything. Batman is searching up everything he can about acid side effects and about Danny but ends up with nothing.
The amity parkers just raised their bets even further.
Danny somehow makes it back 10 minutes late and Wes wins the bet.
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