#but really it’s like three emotional arcs in one fic so I have to try and sort them out correctly

[magpiesbones]

okay so the thing is you see that this fic (the Agott/coco continuation of German College) HAS to be written out of chronological order for Reasons. And I have about 2.2k solid which is a respectable length for a chapter but it is also almost ENTIRELY introspection.

the other thing is that I’ve decided where chapter one ends and it’s Not here because I want to hit a VERY specific character beat first.

[sunlit-skycat]

Pale by Wildbow shill post

“The practice, as we call it, is best summed up as an ongoing contract. By pledging to make your word inviolable, forces in this world will start listening. Routine, ritual, and expectation have formed the grooves and determined how best to communicate with those forces. Diagrams, symbols, knowing who and what to appeal to. Many, many things become possible. If your word is inviolable.” [...]

“Something terrible happened, of a scale that words cannot easily convey. We need you to look into it,” Matthew said. “No need to solve it. Simply… look into it.”

Overview

Pale is an urban fantasy web serial about three girls Awakened into a world of magic in order to solve the murder of a Judge, a supreme being that oversees magic in an area. Soon, however, they discover that the very roots of magic are built off of systemic injustice, and that outside forces want to destroy the meager sanctuary that they have been charged to protect.

Why you should read it

Pale has a huge meta-system that tries to provide an explanation for how all fairy tale type of magic works. When one Awakens, they give up their ability to lie, but that doesn't stop Practitioners from trying to mislead everyone around them. Nothing comes for free. The easiest way to deal with the costs of Practice is to pass them off to someone else, which over the years has led old Practitioner families to exploit magical creatures and each other to do their bidding.

In a way, Pale really reminds me of the Harry Potter fandom, particularly the newer fics that try to examine all the unexamined issues that Rowling put into the worldbuilding and never explored. It tackles subjects of imperialism, child abuse, community building, and justice. There's a lot of fun things to discuss about it, including whether the protagonists ultimately got it right at the end.

Many of the characters in Pale are marginalized in some way. Of the main characters, Lucy is the only black girl in a rural Canadian town and sick of it, Avery is a lesbian and doesn't know how to come out to her dubiously tolerant family, and Verona's single father is an abusive emotional black hole that wants to drag her down with him. Overall, there are a lot of well-realized female characters who are allowed to let their sharp edges cut others in the story.

The fandom

Pale had an earlier prequel work set in the same universe called Pact, which features different characters and settings but has roughly the same magic system. Because of that, it's most useful to think of the fandom as an being composed of an umbrella group, called Otherverse or P-verse by different places, and then subcategories of Pale, Pact, and OC focused works.

The main cast runs young, so shipping isn't big in the fandom, but if you like f/f potential Pale is pretty decent for it. The OC fic tends to have a lot of queer main characters as well.

On Dreamwidth, I run sister communities at blueheronteanook for canon character based fic and meta, and hillsgladehouselibrary for OC fics. There also is a discord server for these communities, the Blue Heron Tea Nook.

You can read Pale fic on Ao3 here.

Where to read it

Pale can be read online here: palewebserial.wordpress.com/

There also is a fanmade audiobook that goes up to arc 10, about 1/3 of the story. It's on Spotify and Podchaser.

[zombee]

I feel like the luckiest Our Flag Means Death fan in the world after the season 2 finale. By a series of incredible circumstances - including a significant metatextual realization that came in at the 11th hour - it was close to perfect for me.

This essay has everything. Completely normal behavior over a television series. Steven Universe references. The David Jenkins School of Whatever is Best for the Bit. Humbling catharsis.

First: this piece does not exist with the central thesis of “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad.” I feel like thousands of words have already been written on this since Thursday, so I’m going to try to not get too in depth on that.

Second, cards on the table, because it’s relevant and I don’t want to waste your time if this is going to sour your ability to hear me out: I’m an Izzy Canyon hater. For MANY reasons, but from way before the concept of the Canyon existed, (some) Izzy fans pinged me in the same way as Snape/Kylo Ren fans did, and before May 2022 was over I went from genuinely enjoying Izzy’s character and place in the narrative to hating him because his fans made it impossible for me to enjoy him anymore.

(SOME! of his fans. Please don’t keep making me say this, although I’m not going to talk about the Canyon directly anymore after this. I know there are a ton of normal Izzy Enjoyers and even Canyonites, I am literally friends with many of them, please take this all in the good faith it’s intended and if you’re not One Of The Bad Ones then you’re fine! I very carefully don’t go anti-Izzy on main, and when I stopped enjoying his character, I stopped writing him into fics. I’m not trying to be a dick, I just want to be honest. Anyway.)

The season 2 finale made me weep over Izzy Goddamn hands.

ALL season long, I was disgruntled. All season long. I really, truly, DEEPLY appreciated what they were doing with his character and arc, I thought it was wildly on brand for the themes of community/queerness in the show, I saw the vision, I liked it!!! But. I wanted a fucking apology, yall. I needed three seconds of “sorry I called you a slur, Ed :/” and that would have been enough. But I had to let it go. It was poisoning my enjoyment of the whole season, which I loved with very little exception (not none!) and I just had to let it go. I wasn’t getting an apology. That didn’t negate what they were doing with his character.

Yall. They withheld the apology on purpose.

THIS FUCKING SHOW!!!

Let’s go back a bit. I was at the episode 6 + 7 screening, and the breakup shook me. Probably a LOT more than if I had watched it alone in bed at 3am on my laptop - five days of no sleep after NYCC, lots of emotions, seeing it on a big screen with a hundred other intense fans, etc etc - but I did see other folks reacting in parallel ways to me when the episodes aired to the regular public, so maybe I would have felt the same way. Regardless, I was mad at Stede and to a lesser extent Ed. I NEEDED AN APOLOGY FOR THAT FISH LINE. I needed it! “Whativah” autocorrects to “WHATIVAH” in my phone. I was going through it.

(When I rewatched the episode when it aired it was not nearly as bad as I remember, lol)

So now the episode 8 screeners go out and the reviews drop and I think I catch one half-glimpse of a “What a heartbreaking ending!” kind of snippet, and some of my friends who are spoiler fiends unintentionally drop little hints about similar ideas (devastating/heartbreaking/split the fandom) type shit.

And I was a fucking WRECK! about it.

I do love this whole show with my whole chest. I do!!! But I’m not rotted because this is an excellent television show, I’m rotted because two old men kiss each other! On the MOUTH!!! in an excellent television show. You get it, right? I’ve written 700,000 words across almost 100 fics and 98% of them are dedicated to those two men falling in love in different universes. 

So it just did not even occur to me the “heartbreak/devastation/fandom split” would be about anything but Gentlebeard.

Another piece of this that was fucking me up - David Jenkins and his “satisfactory” ending biz. My brain was reacting like this show was ENDING ending, even if I knew logically! that this is just season 2!!! And I wasn’t ready for that, because what if it wasn’t personally satisfying, and I’m a mess about it? Why was I so worried about not liking it? I’d liked the whole season! Even if they didn’t nail the landing I wasn’t going to stop writing fic or hanging out with my pirate community & friends. 

…is what I kept trying to tell myself, but the way anxiety disorders work is funny like that lol. What if I did stop writing fic and hanging out in pirate spaces? That would hurt much more than a show I like disappointing me. And for anyone who’s having that experience with ofmd s2, I’m so very, very sorry. It sucks and that’s where my epiphany came from on Wednesday before the finale.

Because it has happened to me before.

I flit from hyperfocus to hyperfocus, as ya do when you’re spicy, but the last thing to get its hooks in me PROPERLY like pirates was Steven Universe. And I did NOT like the way the regular season ended!!! (I actually really did like most of Future; that’s not what I mean. I mean season 5). I don’t like how they handled the Diamonds, tldr; I think the scope of their villainy got too out of hand, and I was left grieving the thing that had meant enough to me I ran a fan convention for four years based around it. 

Side note: imagine if I had channeled the hyperfocus of almost a million words of fanfiction into an American OFMD con instead. We could have made magic :( I did consult with Our Con Means Death though so I am at least a teeny tiny bit of that one!

I did not like the way Steven ended… but I do respect the story they were telling and think they told it well.

I’m still sad about it. Steven is still one of my most beloved, it will always be beautiful and great to me, but that experience did and does sully my memories. There is so, so, so, SO much more good than bad from being in that fandom, and I cherish it. And I hope, if you’re having this experience with OFMD right now, that you’ll find similar comfort.

But, like I said at the top, “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad” has been belabored already by people better at writing about it than me. I just had the incredible privilege to remember my brush with lower case T trauma and having that experience in my last REALLY big deal fandom. That’s why I had been so extra anxious about being disappointed. Because it happened to me before. It helped so much to connect those two.

So the finale happens, and it’s actually about twelve hours of me going from “eh, rushed but fun, whole season was great” to “THIS MAYBE IS THE BEST SHOW OF ALL TIME, ACTUALLY!”

BECAUSE THIS SHOW MADE ME CRY OVER IZZY FUCKING HANDS!!!!

They literally told me this was the story they were telling this season. “Men can change” “The end  of piracy” “Ed leaving Blackbeard behind (ish).”

As for me? I didn’t get an apology for the fish. Instead, I got “Sorry I was a dick.” “You weren’t a dick. Life’s a dick.”

Just… fuckity BAM. THREE FUCKING SENTENCES resolving that fight. Saying so much in so little.

In real life, should these two men have an actual conversation about this shit? Sure!!! But that’s not how OFMD tells its stories!

It works in symbolism. It works in vibes. It works in an hour’s worth of content into each half-hour episode, and for how much lamenting I have done about the pacing, I would prefer that 100x to having to stretch it out too much.

I have said since March 24, 2022 that OFMD wields anachronism as a weapon. First and foremost, it’s fucking funny, but in addition to that, it’s stating clearly: “This is a fantasy world. This is not real history. This show is about romance (and so much more than that), and the rest is just VIBES!!!”

Sometimes vibes can be historical accuracy. Sometimes vibes can be true emotional poignancy. Sometimes vibes can be Ed finding his sunken leathers in the sea, changing underwater somehow, and coming out of the ocean like the Birth of Fucking Venus, because water and rebirth and mermaids and shit is all very prominent this season. And ALSO, and this is very important! BECAUSE IT LOOKS FUCKING COOL!

I don’t want to do much real Izzy meta here. It’s been said by others, and better than me. But it was telegraphed and it was symbolic – he was the paragon of Traditional Piracy in season 1, for goodness’ sake, and Traditional Piracy is Toxic Masculinity, and he was a part of Blackbeard and Ed had to leave Blackbeard behind (yknow, ish), and he got this ABSOLUTLEY FUCKING LOVELY! storyline about appreciating what a (queer) community can do, and god fucking shit fucking dammit… most of all, best of all (for me), was Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave at the end. Men can change. And Izzy DID!!! He did it for Ed. For love. For community. I am puzzled by “it’s fucked up to use Izzy to further Ed’s storyline” because… this was Ed’s season, in the way that season 1 was Stede’s. And Ed cannot be removed from piracy as a whole (neither can Stede!) so to have this old, set in his ways, coded-queerphobic character blossom to the point he can give this gift to Ed and to piracy… idk man. I just find it so fucking beautiful.

It is okay not to like what they did. It’s okay!!! It’s okay, and it’s okay to mourn, and while it’s not okay to do [insert vile behavior here], it’s okay to carefully examine what you think is “bad writing” vs “what you would have preferred to happen” and give good-faith, textually-based criticism on that.

But I want to remind you over and over and over again, this show works on vibes. It tells its stories leaving many, many, many gaps. There are many things I would have liked to see, and y’know what? I would have told the Izzy story differently. I would have personally done it differently. But it’s not my show! It’s not my show, and I am humbled and delighted to remember that, and to appreciate Our Flag Means Death for what it is and not what it isn’t.

Other words have been written better than I could about the 18 months between seasons 1 and 2 and what that does to us as rabid fans with expectations of how things will go. Millions and millions and millions of words have been written about OFMD, fictional and non, and that is going to color our expectations and experience. We had built it up SO MUCH in our minds and along the way I think some of us forgot (INCLUDING ME!!!) that it is first and foremost about Vibes.

The vibes of Izzy’s death are about rebirth and forgiveness and leaving traditional piracy behind. And he got to die in Ed’s arms, knowing (HAPPILY!) that he had been wrong, and giving Ed the gift of letting him know he is loved, and being a part of something. We had a funeral but we also had a wedding. The only constant is change. Men, piracy, Blackbeard; it all changes. And Izzy found peace in that.

Before my last point, I want to @ myself on things I felt versus realizing in the end it is (I will say it until I’m blue in the face) about vibes.

· I was convinced they left Buttons’ transformation ambiguous because they wanted to leave room for it not having been real. NO!!! It is real, until they decided it isn’t. Magic in the OFMD universe? Fucking why not!!! IT’S SYMBOLIC!!! IT’S IMPORTANT TO ED’S STORYLINE AND THE CENTRAL THESES OF THE SHOW!

· I was unhappy, and still am a little, about the Polycule Situation, but now that I realize Oluwande is Zheng’s Stede… I am less so. The Zheng : Auntie :: Ed : Izzy vibes, btw? Fuckin immaculate.

·        Obviously they touched on Stede/Ed’s “killing people trauma” but I’d reallyyyy like Stede to address it, and even though I think Ed’s is left on a very satisfying note, I’d like him to dip a bit more into it as well. But if they don’t, oh well! It’s not like they ignored it, they just didn’t have a Deep Dive like I Wanted Them To!

· They didn’t deal with Ed throwing Stede’s shit away. They just ignored it! Stede started to collect new trinkets, and I believe that was as much about giving the audience back the old feeling of the Revenge as it was anything important (not to say it wasn’t also important thematically!!!). Just like Ed going back to his leathers is both Extremely Important thematically and about putting Taika back in the leathers because that’s what Blackbeard should be wearing for the epic final scenes for the sake of visually keeping the show consistent. That’s Blackbeard’s uniform.

· Stede’s frilly little outfits my beloved. God I hope they give him back some of his frippery in season 3. I think they will re: cursed suit BUT his journey this season was about something else, so!

· Ed’s stupid little non-profit non-apology, oh my god. It was so funny. And there is a transition from eps 5 to 6 where Ed is back in his leathers and the crew is more comfortable around him. They didn’t have to have him do a Real Apology, it’s implied it was all settled. What was the timeline? A day? DOESN’T MATTER, BABY, VIBES!!!

· Lots more, I’m sure, but now that I’ve tried to let it all go, I’m remembering less of what I wanted and appreciating what I got!

And, last point here, I think it is also very very very important to remember that a lot of people are normal about this show. In fact, WAY more people are normal about this show than aren’t. And that is EXTREMELY! IMPORTANT!!! because otherwise it wouldn’t be profitable and we all know what would happen then. We are the core of it, to be sure. Without word of mouth that stems from our intensity, this show would not be NEARLY as successful as it is. I truly, truly believe that.

But.

Do normies need deeply emotional discussions dissecting the central relationships? No. What normies need is Ed and Stede running dramatically toward each other on the beach and kissing. And I am happy, so fucking happy, to realize that’s what I need too. I’ve got fanworks for the rest.

I love this fucking show and this fucking fandom and its fucking creators so much. Fuck.

[delzinrowe]

Aftermath - Kento Nanami

WORD COUNT: ~4.2K WARNINGS: Some minor & major alterations to Shibuya Arc! No Culling Games in this fic. Otherwise no serious warnings. F!Reader SUMMARY: Three days after the Shibuya Incident in the midst of the aftermath Y/N is trying to sort out her emotions and deal with what happened. A/N: Feedback is always appreciated! If you want to be tagged in upcoming fics/drabbles, please let me know!!! Thank you, and enjoy <3 Considering there are alterations to Shibuya: PLEASE, keep your replies/comments spoiler free, to ensure the unaltered enjoyment of other readers. Thank you!

Curses had claimed Shibuya. Half the district was gone, reduced to ashes and debris. Thousands of human lives were eradicated, leaving nothing but pain and emptiness in the hearts of those who miraculously survived the tragedy.

The remaining sorcerers tried their best to evacuate those who lived too close to the newly created wastelands of Tokyo. There was no telling how long it would take to get rid of all the curses, if that was even possible. Therefore saving and protecting all non-sorcerers had priority.

Within record time Y/N had scouted through the rackages in search of any survivors and brought them to Shoko for treatment. It was a tiring task, not only physically but mentally. Seeing the devastating destruction caused by Sukuna, Kenjaku and the countless curses truly took a toll on everyone.

All it took was a few hours to save all the survivors. But this small win was overshadowed by the carnage left behind. Every sorcerer had returned to the Tokyo Jujutsu High grounds, even the ones from Kyoto decided to stay. Considering the immediate threat posed by the countless curses roaming the streets it was the most logical decision for everyone to stay and aid the Tokyo sorcerers.

Many of the sorcerers made it their daily mission to eradicate as many curses as they possibly could, it was their way of dealing with the losses. Among those was Y/N. After the incident she focused all her attention on the vile creatures, spending every minute on the battlefield. As one of the teachers at Jujutsu High she had always made it her priority to keep everyone safe. If going on a rampage and killing curses left and right was the only way for her to ensure no one else would be hurt, so be it.

Just after killing the last of the evil spirits in front of her she fell to her knees. The exhaustion of the past few days took over her body, but she fought against it.

“You can’t keep going like this, Y/N.” Nanami Kento’s voice sounded from a bit further away, as his feet slowly carried him closer to her kneeling form. The blonde sorcerer seemed exhausted as well, carrying scars and injuries from the massacre days ago.

“Sure I can. I have to.” She responded, but her words didn’t hold as much strength as she had intended. And when she stood up she realised how much her body trembled.

“When was the last time you slept?” He inquired with this slightly disappointing tone that made her feel aggravated all too quickly.

“For your information I slept last night.” By now he was standing before her, watching with eagle eyes as she brushed the dirt off her clothes.

“How many hours?” His question earned him an eye-roll in response. Why did he feel the need to act like this right now when he knew the current situation better than anyone.

She refrained from answering, knowing fully well that in her agitated state she might say something spiteful or mean that she’d regret later on.

“You cannot keep this up.” His voice now held a more stern tone as he tried desperately to get through to her. However, the more he tried to reason with her the more she resisted.

“I’m not a child, Kento, I can take care of myself. Thank you.” She had never raised her voice at him like this before, but his nagging really was not what she needed right now. While she knew that it came from a good place, it fell on deaf ears. She had lost too many people, had watched close friends be slaughtered like pigs in front of her.

“Obviously you can’t!” He yelled back at her when she had already turned on her heel.

“You’re a teacher, don’t you think you should be a role model to your students?” Y/N couldn’t see it but she knew that he wore a pleading expression on his face, simply with the way his voice sounded almost desperate to get through to her.

“I am!” Was all she shouted back at him before walking further away, out of his field of vision. She had to get away from him right now even if she knew that he only meant well.

Didn’t he understand that she needed this? That she needed to exorcize as many curses as she could? That she needed to make these streets safer for everyone?

Nanami knew her better than anyone. And he knew that she needed this, but not ‘to make the streets safer’. Not because Exorcizing curses was the simple job of a sorcerer.

No. Y/N needed this for herself more than anything.

Once she had walked further away, when she was out of earshot, she once more collapsed, physically and mentally. She dropped to her knees, not caring that the tiny stones on the ground would leave marks on her knees even through her pants, and balled her hands into fists. She made no attempts in stopping the tears that started filling her eyes, eventually rolling down her cheeks and dropping onto the ruined ground, which once was a bustling street filled with life.

Minutes passed in which Y/N cried without a care in the word if anyone saw her. The overwhelming guilt she felt caused her chest to tighten and burn as if it was on fire.

“Survivor’s Guilt”, is what Shoko had called it when she patched up Y/N’s injuries. “It’s the belief that you did something wrong by surviving when others didn’t.”, she explained it further. Y/N knew that it wasn’t rational to feel like this, but what did that help when she was convinced on a deeply emotional level that by surviving she truly did do something wrong.

“It’s not fair. So many talented and skilled people died, but I survived. Why? It’s just not fair…” She had argumented, but Shoko was quick to smack the back of her head, effectively capturing her full attention. The healer had made it clear to her that she didn’t survive for nothing, that people still needed her. It was enough to give Y/N at least some mental strength, but as soon as she had left Shoko’s infirmary she fell into the habit of not eating, not sleeping and using all her time to hunt down every cursed spirit she could find.

Y/N wasn’t sure how much time had passed, it couldn’t have been more than half an hour, considering the sun was pretty much still at the same spot in the sky. She frankly didn’t care all too much about it either way.

After wiping lazily over her face she finally stood up, skillfully ignoring that her knees felt like dough and her legs trembled. It simply did not matter, she felt as if nothing mattered. At the same time everything mattered.

By now she deeply regretted snapping at Nanami, he was the least person to deserve that. He had always been some sort of role model to Y/N. His moral code in keeping children safe and not letting the youth experience any misery greatly inspired her to become a teacher at Jujutsu High.

She decided to apologise when she saw him next. He’d understand her, she was sure of it. For now she just wanted to get out of here. Her strength was decreasing due to lack of sleep and nutrition. As skilled and talented as she was, she wasn’t arrogant enough to believe she could take on multiple high grade curses in her current status.

Her walk back to the next operating public transportation wasn’t short, giving her plenty of time to think of the exact words she wanted to tell Nanami during her apology and how she’d explain herself. Even though she knew that his maturity wouldn’t expect her to explain anything. He surely knew how she felt. She guessed that he was ridden with the same form of guilt that plagued her mind and heart.

Y/N paid it no mind to the unamused glares and frowns of disapproval she received from strangers on the train. She knew that the blood stains and tears in her clothes were bound to attract the attention of non-sorcerers. Sometimes she’d even jump at the chance to horrify some particularly judgmental bystanders.

“Don’t worry, it’s not my blood.” She’d muse in an assuring tone of voice while showing a smile that seemed far too friendly. Every time, without exception, it would earn a wide-eyed stare.

However, today she was not in the mood to provoke anyone. She settled for mindlessly watching the passing landscape, it was all a blur to her unfocused eyes. Only when the mechanical voice announced the next stop was she ripped out of her thoughts. Due to a quick message she had sent when she stepped into the wagon she was greeted with Ijichi’s soft smile.

The tone between the two had always been kind and casual, almost friendly, which was something Y/N deeply appreciated. Other assistants sometimes didn’t dare to pursue a friendship with sorcerers, especially higher grades. They claimed it was due to professionalism, but the truth was that the assistants didn’t want to get attached to someone who’d end up dying well before their time.

Ijichi, in his gentlemanly behaviour, held open the car door for Y/N. Behind his nervous smile was a wave of worry when he glanced at the countless cuts and bruises that littered her body. The dried up blood as well as the torn clothes only added to his inner turmoil. Yet, every time he brought up his concerns for her wellbeing she shot him down with a lazy attempt at reassurance. It never worked.

“Has Yuji-kun already talked to you?” He asked with an almost cautious tone after he slipped into the driver’s seat and ignited the engine. Through the rear view mirror he could see how she furrowed her brows in confusion. It was enough of an answer for him.

“He mentioned that he was looking for you.” Ijichi explained further but Y/N only shook her head.

“I’ll find him when I’m at Jujutsu Tech. Thanks for telling me.”

After these words the remainder of the drive was spent in silence. It wasn’t unusual for rides with assistants to be quiet. Most trips with Ijichi however, were spent chatting about missions and the current state of affairs. 

This time the assistant kept quiet. Perhaps because he wasn’t fully well yet either. Shoko had only allowed him to operate the car he was currently driving. Everything else was strictly off limits to prevent him from overworking. A trait shared by seemingly everyone and their mother in the sorcerer society.

The two of them reached the school grounds quickly and while absent-mindedly muttering a “Thank you.” Y/N stepped out of the car, heading straight towards Shoko’s infirmary to get her wounds treated.

The eerie silence in her mind, surrounded by the noise of nature in the form of birds chirping and leaves rustling, were all that filled the air, but not for long. Before she even made it halfway to her destination she was suddenly stopped by a voice yelling her name from a bit further away. It was a voice she had come to know well.

“What’s up, Yuji?” She asked as she turned towards him. The boy stopped a few feet away, despite seemingly running he was barely out of breath.

“Y/L/N-Sensei, you’re not forgetting about later right?” The pink haired boy almost seemed timid and hesitant but Y/N didn’t read into it. There was no reason for something like that at a time like this.

“About the little get-together later? I won’t forget, Yuji.” She had to force a little smile onto her lips as she reassured him. It seemed to be all the young student wanted to talk about as he quickly nodded and shot her a smile, that seemed far too out of place for the mindset she surrounded herself with at the moment, before he turned around and disappeared into the direction he came from.

Y/N didn’t like that Gojo was throwing a get-together at a time like this, just days after a devastating tragedy that caused pain and loss to so many people. Yet, another part of her could understand it somehow. Even though he acted like an idiot at times, she knew his heart was at the right place. She figured quickly that he wanted to bring them all together to strengthen the bond of the remaining sorcerers, ultimately making it easier to rely on each other. Perchance he even had a plan to deal with the curses, and most of all, the curse user formerly known as Geto Suguru.

With all this in her mind she finally made her way to Shoko. The breeze, that was far too warm for this time of the year, went by her without any recognition. All she could do was try not to get lost in her thoughts, her planned apology to Nanami still lingering in the back of her mind.

“You’re looking great again…” Shoko’s voice was filled to the brim with sarcasm.

“Thanks, always a pleasure to see you.” Y/N attempted to respond with the same level of mockery as she rolled her eyes, but her tone sounded more annoyed than anything else.

“Is that why you’re making it a habit to visit every day with new injuries? Y/N, you can’t keep doing that.” It was uncommon for the (now again) heavy smoker to show this level of concern for others. She was well aware that her fellow sorcerers could handle themselves well.

“Damn, I heard that before.” This time Y/N’s words were dripping with sarcasm. There was no ill-will in her voice, but Shoko immediately realised that she had more luck getting through a wall than her patient’s thick skull. With a sigh she simply decided to drop the subject.

Only mere minutes later all of Y/N’s injuries were healed, or at least taken care of and she left Shoko’s infirmary after voicing her gratitude.

“Should I pick you up later, or..?” Y/N didn’t answer the question that was yelled after. She heard it, but she wouldn’t acknowledge it. Why would it matter if Shoko picked her up for the stupid get-together? It came as a surprise that Shoko even cared about one of Gojo’s plans.

The sky had cleared up within the past minutes, allowing the sun to shine down on the scenery and dipping the landscape in a plethora of orange hues. However, the colour spectacle went unnoticed by Y/N, whose feet carried her to her assigned room. Out of courtesy, or rather practicality, the higher-ups had decided to offer the empty dormitories to the remaining few sorcerers. Considering the school was protected by barriers, this served as a means to keep them safe more so than goodwill.

Time passed by quickly, or maybe it didn’t, but Y/N was simply too caught up in her own thoughts. She could feel herself being dragged down once more, spiralling into the depths of her sorrow. She thought that maybe as soon as she reached the room the thoughts would dissipate, but nothing of that sort happened.

Seemingly like a zombie trapped in her own mind she undressed herself, showered, dried herself off and changed into a set of clean clothes. She settled for the only black dress she wore. Taking into account the circumstances it felt fitting to wear black, even if Gojo would possibly find a way to bring colour into everything.

Maybe this get-together was exactly what everyone needed right now. Maybe this was a chance to reconnect and move on. Maybe, just maybe, Gojo’s idea wasn’t too bad.

After checking the clock on her phone for the nth time Y/N to get going. Arriving early was always fashionable, wasn’t it? Besides, she knew that Nanami, as much as he disliked these gatherings, would most probably be there early as well. She’d simply take the time to talk to him and apologise. This way she had a chance of enjoying the rest of the late afternoon, possibly even with Nanami next to her.

And wouldn’t you know it, just like she had predicted, the blonde sorcerer stood outside the venue, glancing at the watch on his wrist. To no one’s surprise he wore the same white suit as always. He likely owned it multiple times to make dressing up in the morning easier, a simple fact she had never cared to think about before. Now it almost seemed hilarious to her. Nonetheless there was a frown on her lips. Knowing that she had to act like a responsible grown up and apologise for her earlier outburst left a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Kento! Hey.” She greeted him almost hesitantly, if he noticed the nervousness in her voice he didn’t show it. He simply greeted her back while turning towards her.

“Can I talk to you about earlier this morning?” What a stupid way to have phrased it. Of course she could, she evidently had the ability to do so. Internally she scolded herself instantly over her choice of words.

“If you want to apologise, there’s no need for it, Y/N.” Here he went again, being the ever considerate and thoughtful person she knew him as. The expression on his face was almost soft, something he only showed around a small number of people, which she considered herself lucky to be a part of.

Before she even had the chance to respond to him he spoke up once more, prompted by the uncertainty shown on her features.

“I’m serious. It’s a difficult time for everyone, we’re all on edge. It’s alright.” Nanami uttered with a tone so full of understanding that it almost blew her away. Then again, despite him being the youngest of the adult sorcerers, he had always been the most mature one and the voice of reason.

For a few short minutes a comfortable silence was shared between the two, until Y/N glanced over his white suit and remembered her train of thought from before.

“You decided to keep wearing that same white suit? Don’t you have anything different to wear?” Y/N’s almost playful glance revealed the nature of her words, there was no malice or ill-intent. She prided herself on being the only one who could get him to engage in conversations in a light-hearted manner.

“Why? Don’t you think it looks handsome?” Nanami’s response came quickly, eliciting a chuckle from her.

“Oh, it definitely does.” She replied back, unable to help herself from chuckling once more as she saw the slight smile forming on his lips. At this very moment it almost felt like nothing bad had ever happened.

“Y/N, there is one thing you have to do for me.” Nanami spoke up once again. Y/N didn’t pay too much attention to his somewhat more seriously sounding tone, that was simply his nature.

“You can't keep me from getting absolutely shitfaced drunk.” If this get-together was anything like Gojo’s previous festivities there would be an unlimited amount of alcohol provided. Even if the host of these gatherings never drank an ounce of it himself.

When Nanami didn’t respond or smile at her quick remark she straightened her posture and looked at him expectantly.

“You have to forgive yourself for everything that went down the other day.” He continued then, judging by his tone it was clear as day what exactly he was referring to.

Without any sort of warning a wave of guilt washed over Y/N. Her chest tightened at the reminder of how many lives were lost, how many people she couldn’t save. The destruction was terrible. But it wasn’t the source of her pain. Involuntarily her mind wandered to the corpses which had littered the grounds of the Shibuya station. Her lips started to quiver but she was determined not to give in to the tears. No other word was needed, no clarification or elaboration. She knew what he meant.

Nanami didn’t rush her in her response, instead he gave her all the time she needed by waiting patiently. Something she was thankful for, even if he was the only reason she needed time in the first place.

Y/N hardly noticed when the index finger of her right hand started to scrape at her thumb’s cuticle. Her head was turned away, gaze averted from him. A part of her knew that she had to forgive herself. In fact, she knew that there wasn’t anything to forgive herself for since she had done everything in her powers to save as many people as she could. She had done enough. But her heart did not agree with her head. In her heart she had failed the people of Tokyo. She had failed her fellow sorcerers. She had failed herself.

“You can be really annoying sometimes.” She responded after what seemed like forever, allowing a deep sigh to leave her lungs. ‘Mostly when you’re the voice of reason’, she added in her thoughts bitterly while turning her gaze back to him.

“Yes. Maybe.” His words of agreement were simultaneously out of place and so very typical for him, at least when he was with her. It was enough for her to crack an unwanted smile.

She breathed in deeply, once, twice, and another time.

“Okay.” She finally answered his previous request. Both of them knew that Y/N needed more time to actually forgive herself, but it was a step in the right direction. It was an unspoken promise that she’d attempt to do this for him.

Nanami only responded with a proud nod, barely mouthing the word “Good.”

The quick change in atmosphere had almost caused her heart to beat irregularly. A silence hung over them, but this time it was heavier than before.

Y/N needed to shift the mood again, she needed to uplift not only his spirit, but also her own. She knew that otherwise she’d be glum and gloomy during Gojo’s get-together. There had been too much tragedy within a short time, a killjoy was definitely not what any of the sorcerers needed.

“Since you’re forced to attend this get-together, when are you gonna start complaining?” She chuckled, a little forced anyways, as she asked the blonde sorcerer.

“Complaining about what?” It was Shoko’s voice that sounded from behind Y/N, making her turn around and face the healer with a smile. Although Shoko was never full of energy and happiness, she seemed even more dispirited than ever.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders, “You know, about Gojo’s obnoxious attitude, about our tone deaf singing when we get drunk, about music that’s way too loud. The whole thing, really.” It seemed obvious to her that Nanami wouldn’t enjoy any of these things.

Shoko’s brows furrowed, her head tilted ever so lightly and her lips pursed.

“Where do you think we are?” She asked Y/N. A question like this would usually have resulted in the female sorcerer chuckling and replying in an amused tone. However, something about Shoko’s tone made her hesitate.

Y/N turned around towards Nanami once more, ready to smile at him.

Except, he wasn’t there anymore.

In a split second Y/N’s entire world came crashing down on her as the realisation set in that he had never been there in the first place. Images of her fights in Shibuya flashed before her eyes. Imagines consisting of sorcerers dying in front of her because she had been too slow.

A ringing set in her ears, intensifying with each memory that surfaced. The sound became stronger when she remembered finding Nanami again amidst the chaos and rubble of the destroyed Tokyo district. She had watched him fight, she had yelled after him, she had attempted to reach him and aid him.

Y/N swallowed hard, slowly turning towards Shoko again. Her chest tightened enough to leave her breathless. With a bitter smile on her face she lowered her gaze. Reluctantly she forced herself to walk, taking one painful step at a time towards the row of outdoor chairs that were neatly set up in front of the closed casket.

She had saved lives and exorcised many curses in Shibuya. She helped search for survivors and consoled the ones that were left behind after the losses.

Alas, the only thing she would forever remember about that night was how she witnessed Nanami dying right in front of her, when she had been too slow to save him.

Without any form of communication she sat down on one of the chairs in the first row, right in front of Nanami’s picture.

She was soon joined by Shoko who sat down next to her, placing a warm hand on her thigh and rubbing it assuringly. The gesture went unnoticed by Y/N, whose eyes were focused on all the little details she could make out on the picture atop the casket. Details that blurred more and more when her eyes filled with tears upon realising that it was all an illusion.

The arguments, the smiles, the quick light-hearted banter she shared with the blonde man during these last few days. It was nothing more than a beautiful hallucination.

[lightwise]

Hey guys. I know I’ve been relatively quiet on here since the finale, and I wanted to let you all know I haven’t just liked all your posts but not reblogged for the sake of lurking 😅. I had an insanely chaotic week in my personal life/schedule and the finale hit me hard, in some ways that I wasn’t expecting, so I’ve been processing a lot behind the scenes and trying to play catch-up.

I know there’s a lot of opinions, a lot of hurt feelings, and a lot of processing going around, no matter what your opinions about the finale itself. And even if it had satisfied every one of us, it still is hard to say goodbye to our Bad Batch in canon media. I’ve been crying every time I see shots from those last few scenes and the epilogue 😭❤️

I’ll be sharing everyone’s thoughts and my own as I have the bandwidth this week/ongoing. I have a lot of things I want to address:

- How Tech was handled

- Project Necromancer and Omega’s m count

- the death trooper batch and what worked and didn’t work for me

- how Crosshair’s hand was handled

- my reaction to the finale, as well as the pros vs cons of how it was executed

- the pros and cons of the season overall

- potentially analyses on Hunter and Crosshair throughout their arcs

- some posts that I had been compiling before the finale that will now have a very different tone 😅🫣 (you’ll know what I mean when I get there)

- final update on my Crosshair Sighs count

- additional chapters of the Be There one-shots I started at the beginning of the season. I have Hunter and Crosshair’s perspectives, and I will add in Wrecker’s, Echo’s, and Omega’s.

- I still have an upcoming Hunter short fic and my long fic Compass Pointing North (Rex and Echo leading the clone rebellion) that will fill in all the gaps of the last two seasons and potentially more (I have so many ideas!)

In short, I’m still here, not going anywhere, just need some time to process and get my thoughts together. For those of you grieving or feeling let down, I see you and feel the same way about certain things. For those of you ecstatic and fulfilled about certain things, I see you and feel the same way as well.

And lastly—I’ve been seeing and hearing both behind the scenes and publicly making fun of, tearing down, or vehemently shaming people for their various reactions to this finale. I have to say I’m a bit disappointed at some of the backlash that has been happening between fans for holding differing opinions and emotions. If someone else has a different favorite character than you, a different perspective, a level of difficulty that you are not experiencing—do not shame them for that. Do not go on anon and harass them. Don’t try to tell people who are upset that they should just be happy and get over it. And don’t tell people who are really satisfied with what we got that they shouldn’t be expressing that or that they are inconsiderate for feeling that way.

In short, don’t let the end of this show tear apart all of the good and wonderful and fun moments that we’ve built together over these last three years. This fandom has been a special place and a very meaningful place for most of us, I believe, and those who are in this fandom do not deserve to be treated poorly simply for having their own perspectives. Be kind to each other. Please. I know you all are capable of it 🙏🏻✨❤️

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - May 19 - Week 20

Hi friends! My daughter's graduation activities start today (!!!!) and in anticipation of an extremely busy week, I asked @meidui to pinch hit with a guest rec list. Check out her fantastic recs, say hi, and before sure to comment/kudos the fic you enjoy!

Therapy Works (if your therapist isn't a Hydra agent) by @16woodsequ

Tony accidentally stumbles onto the fact that Steve isn't holding things together quite as well as he makes it look. As awkward as it is at first, Tony's been there, and he finds himself reaching out to him.

But the more he tries to push past Steve's walls the more he realises just how deep his issues go. And they all seem to be pointing in one direction.

Should he really be surprised to find SHIELD is at the root of it?

My Thoughts: in sequ we trust when it comes to steve whump!! poor steve is all messed up from shield's abuse and has a list of psychological/emotional issues longer than his pre-serum ailments, and the way it shows is SO SO SO detailed and devastating and believable, and tony being tony is trying to mend what's broken. this is being updated every thursday until it's done and there's so much meat in every chapter that even if you don't usually read wips, this is 100% worth following along 🥺

Just for the Conversation by @msermesth

Tony's fine. He's back on the Avengers, Steve seems to have forgiven him, and he’s building Resilient to change the world.

Then why is he so jealous of Steve’s new boyfriend?

(Or: that awkward moment when you realize you are in love with your old best friend while having a three-way with him and his boyfriend, who just happens to be your counterpart from another universe.)

My Thoughts: if you love multiverse fics like i do this is for you, it's the perfect cocktail of multiverse shenanigans 😌 and don't worry if you haven't read any of the comics before, the author's note is very helpful and you don't need much background to enjoy jealous tony and a steve sandwich <3

Fortune Favours the Bold by @bladeofthenebula27

Omega Steve Rogers is betrothed to an old rich alpha nearly three times his age, and decides on an act of passionate rebellion before his wedding.

My Thoughts: neb writes the best omegaverse fics ever so you automatically cannot go wrong, but the mistaken identity in this fic is so pleasing and steve's internal dialogue is >>>

When It Comes to Trying by @softanticipation

Steve is weird about food. Tony takes notice.

(Or, because I was once told that whenever characters share food together, it means something.)

My Thoughts: i love rereading this fic and it hits the spot every time <3 it starts in the shawarma restaurant post-battle of new york and doesn't shy away from how tony gradually goes from ""disdain"" to adoration and steve adjusts slowly and fits in better with the team, and there's flirting and steve is so sweet and tony gets so gentle with him!! and the focus on food is executed so well i want to eat the whole fic

late night talking by @omg-just-peachy

Steve realizes he can't sleep without the light of the arc reactor.

My Thoughts: if you look up "comfort fic" in the dictionary all 700 words of this fic is there!! the established relationship is established relationshipping and clingy steve waiting on tony is so sweet 🥺

[leonardcohenofficial]

Do you ship Hawkeye and Margaret?

not in any real sense of an endgame, but i do find potentiality in that relationship compelling. i think that the friendship we got to see on screen is ultimately more interesting than if the show had gone for any real romance between them, but i get why people ship them/enjoy the very few and far between actually good fics that explore what could have been. (a bit of a sidebar but had wayne rogers stuck around on the show, i think there would have been more of an established trapper and margaret arc—which we get hints at in season three—and it would have been cool to see what a houlintyre take on something like "comrades in arms" could have been.) in the early years most of the hawkeye and margaret dynamic is based on antagonism and harassment, with one of the first episodes that allows them both to have personal growth being "carry on, hawkeye" (and even then there is still plenty of both in the episode). over the years, as margaret's character gets to develop (with both positive and negative overall results imho—this is a bit of an unpopular opinion but i do actually think that a lot of the softening of her character makes her less interesting, i think she's at her most interesting when she's more complicated emotionally and morally), her relationship with hawkeye becomes less combative but is marked by a deep level of emotional connection in which they still quibble and fight, but they're not trying to tear each other down anymore.

one of the biggest missed opportunities for continuity in terms of exploring hawkeye and margaret's sexual and emotional intimacy comes in season six between "comrades in arms" and "what's up, doc?"; margaret and hawkeye are implied to have had (presumably unprotected) sex in "comrades in arms," and six episodes later, margaret has her pregnancy scare (also really interesting to me is that margaret says that she was "with donald about six weeks ago in tokyo," and "what's up, doc?" aired six weeks after "comrades in arms"). it would have been bold for 1977-1978 network television for the show to explore a main character getting another married main character pregnant—fun fact in that there was a CBS-rejected a script very early on in which hawkeye would have had to deal with the consequences of potentially getting two different nurses pregnant—but would have been interesting to see follow-up to that plotline. we get a hint of that with the "i'm glad it turned out the way you wanted it to." "so am i." "i'm also sorry." "so am i." exchange, but that would have taken on a very different weight had there been actual potential that hawkeye got her pregnant (which is something i'm interested in exploring in a fic sometime; watch this space lol).

all this to say also margaret and hawkeye are both hot and i think that shipping them is fun and if people want to write thousands of words of smut inspired by the "if i didn't hate violence, i'd kick you." "would you? with high heels?" exchange who would i be to complain?

[lover-of-mine]

i'm freaking out because someone who watched the episode in the media was asked if after the episode will their be new buddie theories and she said she already has one but won't reveal it till after the episode. Which you can basically take that to mean something is going to happen with buck and eddie that's going to have fans theorizing/speculating after the episode. I'm honestly thinking that it's gonna be heavily teased that something happened between buddie at or after the bachelor party. like a charged moment or almost kiss but it won't be revealed at all in the episode. we will get like a glimpse of it and only eddie is going to remember pieces of it which will lead into his catholic guilt arc. and we're gonna spend the rest of the season trying to figure out what actually happened between buddie after the bachelor party and Eddie's gonna be keeping this huge secret from Buck.

it won't be revealed till the finale or something. My money is ultimately when the puzzle forms it's that buck and eddie almost kissed after the bachelor party but got interrupted by one of their many many party guests and by the finale I see Buck remembering what happened as well.

Suffice to say something is happening between buddie in this episode enough that media already has a buddie theory and she'll post it after the episode which means it will feature spoilers from this episode speculating a theory regarding buddie so that means something happens in this episode that's gonna lead fans to speculate about buddie and what happened between them?

Bestie, I literally wrote this as a fic idea right after 705 soaksasokasasok like, with how all over each other buddie seems to be you can ABSOLUTELY have a charged moment between them that doesn't connect just because they got interrupted and we don't see it until one of them talks about it later on, probably Eddie to someone, maybe Frank, and have that trigger Eddie's sexuality arc within the guilt arc, like, legit, I can see it happening, I mostly don't think the show would actually go for it, but honestly, this season keeps surprising me so... but it is a way to trigger Eddie's sexuality arc using Buck without pulling the trigger on buddie too soon, and keeping Buck oblivious to what's actually going on with Eddie while letting Buck explore his bisexuality outside of Eddie and Eddie trying to work through his own feelings would be nice. And it would be a nice parallel to Buck freaking about lying to Eddie about the date with T (because they LOVE to parallel the two of them), because Eddie would totally feel like he has to lie, because one, he doesn't understand what it means for him, two, he doesn't understand what it means for the both of them, and three if Buck is going to be infatuated about T, he wouldn't sabotage that, four, he still needs to deal with the searching for Shannon of it all, and this is a way to put the ball completely on Buck's court AND it is a way to address the emotional power imbalance that exists within buddie, because Eddie calls the shots a lot and that can't keep happening for them to be a good couple, yk? They can make Eddie explicitly make another unilateral decision about their relationship on the idea that he just knows Buck so well and knows how he's going to react, the whole I'm not enough thing could come back or just straight up use the I feel like she sees me and the I kinda can't stop thinking about him for Eddie to just decide that Buck was just too drunk and it wasn't really about him or about Buck wanting to make that change in their relationship or having feelings for him, and just expect Buck to go with it, and to have Buck reach that point where he realizes what happened and he decides to force Eddie into that conversation, I'm game, dude, like, legit, would love that. Even more, if we have some sort of emergency where both of them are in danger (trapped dads/drown Buck I will never give up on you) and you have Eddie aware to some degree and Buck being Buck without actually knowing until something happens and he's like OH FUCK and we can have the beginning of s8 addressing the will they do something about it or just keep pretending it's not there until they figure out they don't really have a choice, it's where they were going all along (buddie getting together 804 aka 100 episodes after Eddie got introduced maybe?), like, they can even have some conversation being interrupted, you can have things being said during the emergency they just don't have the chance to talk about, with the recovery or things going to hell or actually being interrupted by everyone and everything around them, especially if T is still in the mix, you can have the emergency be a season finale cliffhanger because they already have s8 confirmed and they never did a season cliffhanger and I feel like we are due one soon, and things would only be dealt with later. There's a lot to explore if something almost happens with them being drunk, and Eddie remembers but Buck doesn't. You can even add stuff like making Eddie work himself through his reactions to Buck so far or straight up confirm he has some level of awareness that his feelings for Buck are not all that platonic (Eddie fell first essay I will never give up on you) he just didn't know how to interpret that yet. It would open some fun possibilities, and considering the insistence on the triangle imagery, to make it an actual media love triangle by finally connecting the Buck and Eddie's side on a romantic level? It would add up.

[love-killed-the-superstar]

Are there any leosagi fics you recommend for a newbie? I am just now warming up to the ship it’s so cute.

*cracks knuckles* oh, this'll be fun!! welcome to the fold! this is in no particular order, even though i'm still going to plug my all time favourite one first:

Silk and Steel by katanashipping: This is the first leosagi fic I ever read and the one that has haunted me since I first read it in 2014. Rereading it is actually what kickstarted my latest round of tmnt obsession. It's an alternate retelling of s4 and oh, it is so good. The ending scene... *chefs kiss*

In Between Worlds by Koalagriton: I read this one recently and it was so good... A series of drabbles about them reuniting at the next Battle Nexus. The last chapter is my favourite - the fic is kinda bittersweet but I love it to death.

In Circles by Garden_Guardian: A really nice and sweet fix-it fic for the capril wedding where Leo and Usagi actually TALK to each other instead of ignoring each other like awkward exes following Samurai Tourist. Includes some really adorable fanart attached!

Approval by hostofhorus999: A classic 5 times + 1 times fic - this time Usagi getting blessings from Leo's family to propose!!! It's so fucking sweet.

Operation Matchmaker 2: Electric Boogaloo by GreenGoddessSmoothie: A classic 'brothers trying to get leosagi together' tale. Shenanigans ensue, it's great, I laughed super hard.

Operation Elopement 2: Electric Boogaloo by GreenGoddessSmoothie: A direct sequel but about them getting eloped!! It's really cute, made me really emotional.

Fewer Things Forgotten by kay_cricketed: I only recently found out about this one (livejournal was slightly before my time lol) but it's a leosagi fic in 50 sentences and ohh it's so good. I initially wasn't sure if I'd enjoy this style of one-sentence stories but it pulled some real emotions out of me!!

The next three are multi-chaptered and pretty wordy but I still recommend:

Dragon of the Sun by ForestWhisper3: Okay so technically this is a Mikey-centric fic but the leosagi in it is so good I had to include it. It's a retelling of the Ultimate Drako arc featuring mystic!Mikey and it's a lot of fun. The leosagi parts are in chapters 5+6 but PLEASE read the whole thing it's super good and I'm kinda obsessed.

The Tortoise and the Hare by AmevelloBlue: REQUIRED READING (/j). This fic is super good. It recontextualises all leosagi episodes in 2k3, adds in missing scenes and then spins off into a really cool climax featuring Jei and it's just - super good. Loved it. Reread it three times already.

No Room For Dying by Amevello Blue: Direct sequel to Tortoise and Hare. This is the Ninja Tribunal arc we deserved honestly. Really highlights how shitty the tribunal is, Usagi slots into the plot seamlessly, it explores Usagi's own trauma from UJ which I really appreciated, the relationship drama is perfect and... yep. Just a really solid read. I'm going to do my third reread once I hit season 5 on my rewatch.

finally, i am not above plugging my own fics... i recently wrote one for tmnttober from usagi's pov where he's celebrating tanabata with the hamato family and trying to keep his crush on leo under wraps: climb up to my view, see the world in my shoes

have fun!!!

[suffarustuffaru]

If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero

yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?

anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.

it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??

anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.

and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH

also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj

but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!

but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.

also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<

in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<

[folerdetdufoler]

hello! i love your even/isak fics - you take the characters on such a wonderful emotional journey. i know you just finished with posting six of one but i really loved that one and wondered if you had any plans to give us a peak into how everything is going with olivia and even and isak (and arthur!) in the future? thanks so much for your lovely writing which has brought me much joy - i look forward to whatever you share next!

thank you so much for the message! i’m really glad you enjoyed it. i don’t have any plans for updates, but that’s only because i didn’t have any plans to finish it in the first place! i hadn’t outlined a proper arc for them, and didn’t know the last chapter was going to be the last chapter until it just was. there were also these snippets of things that sounded fun to write, but i hadn’t figured out how to work them in, or whether i had like, the narrative movement to get to those points, without dragging out the story longer than was worth it. like i’d spent so much time being afraid of the olivia reveal that it was built up too much, and i didn’t have a bigger climax to reach after it.

anyway, i though a really funny scene would be olivia having to witness isak and even kissing. it wouldn’t happen naturally—she would demand a kiss just so she could get that particular PDA milestone over with. this, of course, would make it terribly awkward for isak and even, and olivia would be more upset that they were bad kissers than the fact that they were kissing. i imagine it could happen at school one day, perhaps when isak managed to leave work early and meet even at school, but the olivia and arthur and teo would still be lounging in the office. after endless teasing, they would kiss, and the three teens would send up homemade scorecards. arthur would give an earnest 9 (he saves the 10s for chris), and olivia would hit them with a devastating 3.2. teo, torn between arthur’s kindness and olivia’s coolness, would give a midrange score and try to coach them for their next one. truly ridiculous, but fitting the vibes of that office.

i could’ve gone further, into arthur’s russetid, a time when olivia would be testing her boundaries with isak, and thus with even. they’d be able to work on parenting together, though up against the historical challenge of isak getting emma pregnant during his russetid. like, what rules can you enforce on someone who can always respond with “at least i’m not getting anyone pregnant!”? possibly none! but because olivia and arthur aren’t the party animals that isak and even think they have the potential to be, nothing truly scandalous would happen. but it’ll be a rough month until arthur’s graduation and they eventually figure it out…for now. olivia and teo’s russ would be a whole other story.

which, by the way, is how they’re intended to go: all the way. by their third year i saw them brokering a deal with isak and even and emma: olivia and teo could move into even’s apartment for their third year, and even could move in with isak. by that point even was already sleeping over pretty regularly, so it simply made too much sense for them to trade apartments. but isak and even had just gotten used to having a teenaged daughter by their side, and i can’t imagine it would be easy to let her go. and when they’d spent too many dinners arguing over the giant step olivia was taking with her boyfriend at such a young age, she would quickly argue that if isak had actually made a move on even while they were in school, living together during their third year would’ve definitely happened. and she, per usual, per canon, wouldn’t be wrong.

so yeah, no plans to go there, but definitely the potential. i haven’t written isak and even as parents much, and even with this one they’ve only just started being parents; there’s plenty of space for more. i would probably come back to it eventually.

but! i have other updates i owe first, and let me write them out here so i have them somewhere:

• fredag 51:50 update

• mondays at sixteen update (med et barn)

• and, while i’ve been dragging my feet on fredag, i started private chef!even at isak’s house in the hamptons

you’ll likely get those before coming back to charlie and lucy. oh! which, by the way, was supposed to be the ending. for a while i thought they would have a whole conversation about what olivia would call even now that they were a family. but teasing him about “daddy” felt weird, and even had already had the whole “being called a dad” conversation with astrid. still, the whole point of their charlie and lucy nicknames was that she had been calling him a special name for his closer role in her life. she’d been calling him her dad from that very first high-five. so they would have a tortuous conversation with olivia offering “pappa” and dad #2” and “doc” (à la bugs bunny, but that was sonja’s joke), and even would desperately beg her not to, knowing she still would, and olivia would just wink, finishing the story with a “good luck, charlie.”

[mrs-steve-harrington]

Throwing some fic recs into the mix since I keep seeing the posts from others and wanting to join in. Below, you'll find 10 fics that I'm excited to recommend, in no particular order!

get a clue! by @monsterhunting [Stranger Things, Stoncy]

This is a delightful Valentine's Day fic featuring oblivious Steve, which is one of my favorite kinds of Steve! The pining is real, but the fic is lighthearted, not lingering on the angst of it all, but rather focusing on the positives. Steve's friendship and back and forth with Robin is great, but his interactions with Nancy and Jonathan are even better. It's a great time!

Don't Make Me by @idridian [Halloween Ends, Corey/Allyson/Michael]

You do not understand how badly I needed a fic like this after finally seeing Halloween Ends for the first time. That movie took over my whole brain for a hot minute and I was worried there would be nothing out there to sink my teeth into afterwards. But this fic. This fic was there to give me everything that I needed after the movie. "Allyson Corruption Arc" might be my favorite tag ever. It goes without saying, but there's a darkness to this fic that wraps around you while reading it. The relationship with Allyson and Corey is EVERYTHING! I just. This fic is beautiful and I love it!

To Run The Dog by @pterawaters [Stranger Things, Stoncy]

I love me some fic where Stancy crush hard on Jonathan and want to date him together. This is a really lovely AU where Steve and Nancy are married and keep seeing Jonathan running by their house with his dog. The way they want so badly to interact with him, and the friendship that ends up developing once they get the chance, is wonderful. The characters still feel like themselves despite not having gone through the same things as they do in the show, and it's just. Really enjoyable to read!

my body's aching and my time is at hand by whateverislovely [Criminal Minds, Reid-centric]

Gosh, this fic hits me right in the feels. There's something about sitting with a character who is feeling so low and feels like they can't talk to anyone (even though they know deep down that they could but it FEELS like they can't). Spencer desperately needs someone to see that he's struggling, but it's hard when there's so much going on at the same time. I don't even know what all to say, this fic just really gave me the angst and hurt/comfort (emotional and physical) that I revel in.

The Babysitter by @stevethehousewife [Stranger Things, Stancy, Dusteve, uhh... more]

A fic inspired by my favorite horror comedy movie ever? With Steve as the titular babysitter? But not evil? AND it's A/B/O?? Yeah there are many, many reasons I love this fic. The descriptions of Steve feel like they came right out of the movie in a way that made them so easy to see in my head. But it changes enough about the story that it doesn't feel at all like a straight up rehash of what you've already seen. AND it combines some of my favorite ships, with a Steve who is just the best ever. I freaking LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH!!

close my fist around something delicate by inlovewithnight [Ted Lasso, Keeley/Roy/Jamie]

All that I wanted for these three was for them to realize that they have feelings for each other. That they can make a relationship work, if they just try. And dammit, this fic delivers! While also adding in some great angst and hurt/comfort (physical and emotional). I didn't realize quite how much I wanted to see Jamie hurting and being stood up for/protected by the people who care about him, but boy did I! This fic is really lovely, it sucked me in and didn't let me go until I finished reading.

Both Hands Holding on to the Wire by @stevethehousewife [Stranger Things, Stobin]

This was one hell of a gift to get in a smut exchange, holy moly! It focuses really well on Robin's confusion over the thoughts she starts having about Steve after accidentally walking in on him changing. The whole concept is handled respectfully, taking the weight of it all very seriously. Robin and Steve's friendship is so good, the way they can just BE with each other. It's got the angst I adore, a Steve who is an absolute sweetheart, and a Robin who is so much more like her season 4 self than season 3 (which is a huge plus for me personally).

The Hourglass by @pterawaters [Fargo s5, Dot & Gator, Dot/Wayne/Gator]

A shorter fic here, but no less wonderful! It's exactly what I needed after finishing the latest season of Fargo. Getting to see where their lives might have gone, if Dot had been able to take Gator with her when she ran away. If he had wanted to go. It gets me emotional every time I think about it. I love love love this fic!

Wednesday by @stevethehousewife [Stranger Things, Stoncy]

I will recommend this fic forever and for always. It has everything: hurt Steve! Time loops! Season 3 Steve being thrown back to the worst day of his life and forced to relive it over and over until he gets it right (hint, it's the Halloween party in s2). I fucking love this fic! I've lost count of how many times I've reread it, but it might rival the number of time loops Steve lives through (okay maybe not quite that many, but you get my point). It shows Steve a side of Jonathan he didn't get to see the first time around. It gives him the closure he probably didn't realize he needed. I just. Adore this story!!

An Oath Broken, An Oath Kept by @urisarang [Love Between Fairy and Devil, Chang Heng/Dongfang Qingcang]

This fic is so mean in the best way! Both of them are so hurt, physically and emotionally. And then Chang Heng is forced to hurt DFQC even more, which only makes it that much BETTER. It was the perfect gift to receive for the Flash Made Them Do It exchange. I laugh every time I see the a/n (the word count minimum was 300 words. The word count on this fic is... a lot more than that). And it's just as fun to reread now as it was to read it the first time around. I want to draw hearts around it!

[hopetorun]

I would like to get to know my local fic writer hopetorun! Specifically, I would like to know 1, 8, 11, and 76 and 77 for home by now!

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

one shots for sure! i haven't posted something as multi-chaptered in the traditional style (one chapter at a time) since like ... my fanfiction.net/star wars message boards era. my current writing process and the way i want my stories to pull together just doesn't lend itself to that posting style, which is what it is though i do think it's a really fun way to build community.

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

i love writing beginnings! i love establishing a setting or a world and getting all my characters into their little situations. i basically can't start writing a story until the opening scene or moment plops itself into my head fully formed. please always imagine me as the me sowing/me reaping meme but it's me sowing tantalizing little tidbits into my beginnings and then furiously trying to make sure they're all tied up at the end.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

what if i want to link more than three. what are you going to do about it. anyway here's some fics i've been thinking about a lot!!

ain't it easy? by stereobone (masters of the air, buck/bucky, 30k, e, definitely read the tags) which was just such a satisfying read for me. bucky is down so bad. he's trying so hard to have his shit together. great use of sex to move the character arcs forward.

peacetime like a liminal space by mercess (masters of the air, buck/bucky, 17k, e) in which bucky is such a mess. very sweet tho. i love love.

the chimneys hardly ever fall down by redbelles (masters of the air, marge/buck/bucky, 10k, e, wip) which is only two chapters but i read those two chapters and have been frothing at the mouth ever since. author if you're seeing this please know that i am lying awake at night thinking about this story.

The Greatest by wearemany (matthew/pomo, 12k, e, wip) ... what am i supposed to say here. i feel like if this is your bag you're probably already reading this story but yk. i sure am enjoying it.

laundry and taxes by @bropunzeling (matthew/leon, 10k, e) universe-swapping my beloved!!

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]? 

ooh the original version of home by now (the one that existed in my head, not one that ever got turned into words) leaned a lot harder into the complicated legacy vibes with matthew and keith! i'm a little bummed i didn't thread it through well enough and ended up choosing to axe most of it rather than expanding on the theme. i would really like to write something that explores the complicated emotions around legacy and being surpassed by your kid/surpassing your parent and idol.

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? 

it's the scene in leon's kitchen but it's also just every scene with matthew and chantal. sorry to be predictable.

[yellowocaballero]

Styles of Storytelling Structure

OK love of God I'm so embarrassed that every post I make gets insane long. I tried to match this explanation up with the previous ask but it got so long, so this elaboration gets its own post. For reference, these tags are referencing this post. Read that one first if you want.

I hope I can find a way to explain this succinctly and non-judgmentally. I do mean it extremely nonjudgmentally. I write both kinds and they both have their own merits.

For me, there's two kinds of fanfic writing. I call 'em Fic Style and Novel Style. This isn't about tropes or content, but about how the author composes the story.

Novel style is the 'traditional' way of writing a story. It has a three act structure, rising action/climax/falling action, tight pacing, every scene does five plot/character/theme related things. It reads like a published short story or a book.

Fic style is often reliant on the source material to make complete sense, and its plot or characterization is usually scaffolded onto the main material. For many of these stories you use the pre-existing canon structure. The story isn't as structured or tightly written, scenes are more likely to be there for vibes, and there tends to be more worldbuilding and a slower pace in general. It's worth noting that fic style can often really resemble soap opera, comic books, long-running manga, Dr Who, etc. Anything serialized, meant to continue on for a long time with no definite end point.

(If you're a frequent flier, to give you some idea: New Wave and Good Luck Jake were novel style, Hope Etc and Listen 2 Ur Heart were fic style. Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge was novel/short story style, reel to reel was fic style.)

Neither is better or worse than the other. They can be both equally enjoyable. One of my favorite fics is 'a simple thing' by iridan and it's fic style. Case fics are more likely to be novel style [I suck at case fics]. Shortly, fic style is easier to write, more likely to be enjoyable, and harder to make very good. Novel style is really hard to write. Super hard.

This is because novel-style writing just requires more skills. You need to lock down story structure, plotting, tension, connecting physical/emotional/plot/theme, pairing story beats with character beats, and dealing with a lot of different plot threads at once. I think of it as braiding, kind of: weaving three character arcs, a plot arc, growth of character relationships, and development of the themes and messaging. A scene should ideally do all of these things at once. Everything needs to be perfectly matched together so it all moves as one. The longer the story is, the more content of all of this you have to deal with, and the more difficult it is to do well. You're just juggling more balls. I had to write one bad 100k story and another mediocre 100k story before I got to a kinda-good 100k story. Forget about how long it took me to get to a decent freaking 60k story. I wrote really enjoyable 60k fic style stories before an actually good 60k novel style story.

This is why skills have to scaffold. I think a lot of beginner writers are constantly trying to fight those level 60 boss fights at level 20 and they get frustrated when they lose. You have to figure out how to write decent dialogue and decent prose before putting together a good scene. Then you have to figure out how to string a series of scenes together in a way that makes sense. Then you have to figure out how to put those scenes in the right order to make some kind of coherent and interesting story with conflict and character arcs. Then you start tossing one ball in the air and figure out how to write those 20k short stories. Then you add more and more balls as your stories get longer and more complex. You have to develop a lot of different skills individually to put together a well-structured final product that's fun to read.

Stop getting so frustrated when you can't beat out a 60k story that's Barnes & Nobles worthy when you're a beginning writer! Stop dreaming big! I know how frustrating it is not being able to put what's in your head down on paper. It's not going to be perfect. Of course you're having issues writing longer things, you're still figuring out how to put longer things together.

Pick something to work on. Figure out what skills you still need to develop. Figure out how stories work and what makes a good story, and then try and build it yourself. You do not need to write a traditional novel style story to develop your skills in dialogue, prose, characterization, tone, tension, POV, etc. You can get that stuff down first. If you're interested in working on story structure and pacing you'll have to practice doing things traditionally. No, you're not going to be happy with it. Be proud of yourself that you improved and developed a skill. Be proud of yourself that you're writing. Writing is hard. It's fun, but hard. If you aren't having fun then you're just left with the hard.

Writing isn't about the finished product. It's not about if you wrote something that people enjoyed or said was good. It's about enjoying writing. Everything else happens naturally from there.

[what-would-have-happened]

MHA FIC REC LIST

Because apparently this is a thing that people do; so, I’m going to list the best fics I’ve ever read as well as why, exactly, you should read them. It’s a very varied collection, but you’ll find a lot of dimension/time travel, as well as Todoroki-family centric fics here.

Dragonborne — Ojiro/Shinsou. Set in an AU where Ojiro’s quirk isn’t just Tail, but something insane and awesome, actually. This fic has incredible writing and a very compelling plot that gets PERFECT around the middle of the story; if you are someone who likes either Ojiro or Shinsou for no good reason, this is the fic focusing on them that you’ve been looking for. 125k, complete.

Mild-Mannered School Teacher/Adrenaline-Junkie Vigilante — Fuyumi/Miruko. Fuyumi becomes a vigilante and runs around vigilanting with Dabi, without realizing who he is; she gets a girlfriend along the way. Check this one out for a peak f/f ship and lots of Todoroki drama; funny and emotional at the same time. 136k, complete.

Back To Me — no ship. A story about Kurogiri finding Shirakumo, or maybe about Shirakumo finding Kurogiri. Either way, it’s a rollercoaster; mental conflict abounds as the man of mist tries to figure out who he is, and villain-hero conflicts aren’t exactly making doing so easy. 214k, in progress.

Quirked — Erasermic. Izuku travels to a parallel dimension where no quirks exist, and manages to bring a quirk along with him. Despite not having had one before. What else to do than to become a hero? This is the vigilante Izuku story to surpass ALL vigilante Izuku stories, full of fresh and interesting ideas as well as a carefully evolving plot. 133k, in progress.

Cracked Glass — no ship. Essentially a Promised Neverland AU, but it takes place in a dimension parallel to canon; when said dimension collides with canon, it begins the first chapter of a brilliant disaster. Ojiro stans, this is another fic just for you. If you’re not an Ojiro stan, read this anyway and become one. 192k, marked incomplete, but it more or less is finished.

Dermabrasion — Dabihawks. This is a world where Shouto goes looking for Touya, and wouldn’t you believe it, he finds him! Naruto is vaguely involved. No, that wasn’t a typo of Natsuo. SO MANY GOOD TODOFAM FEELS. God, this fic is excellent; really explores the dynamics of everyone in the family in wonderful detail. Yes, everyone. All the Todorokis get screentime here. 410k, complete.

make this feel like home — Tododeku. A story about the three younger Todoroki siblings trying to get along over the holidays; eventually, they drag the oldest brother in too. Short but sweet, funny, and hits you right in the heart. 26k, complete.

Cair Parallel — Shinsou/Kaminari. If you don’t ship them (as I do not) you can simply ignore that part; and it is beyond worth it, for this fic’s magnificent story. It’s gotta be one of the most creative things I’ve ever read. Modern no-quirks AU, but the gang plays dungeons and dragons; so many varied character arcs, all developing with an equal amount of focus, and so much humor alongside the complex relationships. If you’re of the opinion that Iida needs more fics where he’s a main character, well, I am too, so come check this out. 590k, complete.

Artificial Parenthood, Affectionate Brotherhood — no ship. If you read only a single fic on this rec list, read this one. It’s metaphorically every single chaotic Dabi-gets-deaged fic you’ve ever read, but combined into a vaguely coherent narrative that’s glued together by innovative word usage, that good old Todoroki angst, and Bakugou. There’s also time travel. There are so many thoughts in this story, and they’re all condensed tighter than a steel rope. I can read this again and again and again, and I still don’t know if I’ve found everything this has managed to express. Probably not. If I had to say the story was focused on anything, I’d say Dabi, Bakugou, and the escalating terror of existence. 208k, in progress. (the other fics in the series are worth a look, too.)

The World Ended Before It Could Begin (Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds) — no ship. Shinsou time travels back from the Nomu apocalypse to save the world, and runs directly into a pre-Dabi Touya. Events proceed with a lot of confusion from there as Shinsou tries his best while trying not to rope his friends into danger as well (he does not succeed) and with no intention of gaining a family (he gets one anyway.) Lots of family feels and humor here; Touya goes undercover as Dabi at one point, which is hilarious. Also: duck feet. 72k, complete.

Lost In The Darkness — no ship. Shigaraki kidnaps Bakugou at Kamino, but instead of the events we all know, there’s an earthquake, and they both fall in a pit and die. Okay, they don’t die. They do become besties, though; a hero-villain team up that’s determined to change the world and recruit each other to their respective sides, Bakugou and Shigaraki are like a pinball machine that wrecks everything else around themselves for the better. The League attempts redemption, Midoriya and Kirishima try their best, and the Todoroki brothers get dragged into the situation one after the other. If one thing’s clear, it’s that no one’s life will ever be the same again. 394k, one chapter left.

Ignite to the Call — no ship. The dimension travel is premium here, my friends. A group of UA students wake up in a world that’s both similar and different to their own; where reality could have gone, if one thing had changed. What is that one thing? Surprise, no one knows! Featuring Izuku as Shigaraki’s little brother, Dabi as a guy who wants to know why Shouto froze him in an iceblock, a collection of teenage runaways and dangerous animals, one or quite possibly two ghosts, A Great Escape Plan, and copious amounts of kidnapping. 600k, in progress.

Bakugou Bewitched — no ship. I can think of no better way to describe this fic than the term Platonic Bakudeku; the friendship is strong in this one. In summary, Bakugou is inflicted with the curse of obedience from Ella Enchanted. (I’ve never watched Ella Enchanted.) It makes his life increasing flavors of difficult, and the relationship between him and Midoriya is the most twisted spiked thing, and also stronger than the hardest steel. These two are inseparable—to Bakugou’s great distress. If you want a fic that treats the Bakugou-Izuku relationship like the insane shard of intensity that it is without once touching the line of romantic, this is the one. There’s also lots of neat Bakugou family content, which I don’t see often. 155k, complete.

sunshine in the library — Shinsou/Izuku. A vampire AU with the most beautiful feels, this fic is coming for your heart, and dragging a new OTP along with it. The plot is best described as a bundle of awesomeness with Shindeku the main and magnificent focus. Featuring: Izuku as a guy way in over his head, Shinsou as the brooding vampire who needs some light in his life, and Iida and Uraraka as vampire hunters who are rather unhelpfully misguided. They’re trying their best. The plot that’s planned out for this fic is fifty two forms of brilliant, and I can’t wait to read it all. 46k, in progress.

Where your love has always been enough (for me) — Enji/Rei. Endeavor time travels after his death to twenty years in the past; to a time before he broke his family. He doesn’t break it this time. Endeavor redemption arc, and a Todoroki family where only the father holds the weight of what he had once done. Where sometimes there’s a second chance. I dunno, but maybe the Todorokis need a little less angst inflicted on them, every now and then, and positive emotions, instead. You’ll definitely feel positive emotions reading this. 160k, in progress.

This Is Why We Have The Rules — no ship. Kirishima makes an entire chapter worth of accidental innuendos, Iida almost becomes the overlord of UA out of sheer exasperation plus a lack of sleep, and Ojiro is the only normal student in class 1A. That’s it, that’s the fic, and it’s one of the funniest things I have read in my entire life. 8k, in progress.

Soulmates and Wormholes — Kiribaku, Tododeku. It’s a modern AU featuring the well-loved soulmates trope; but with a twist, and that twist is parallel universes. This fic is consistently hilarious throughout and tells a compelling story that only gets more and more interesting every chapter, and I cannot wait to see where it’s going. It’s excellent. 76k, in progress.

And that’s all for now! Thank you for reading!

[youhideastar]

Fit for Purpose Deleted Scenes V: Jiang Cheng

Today's deleted scenes from Fit for Purpose deal with Jiang Cheng - a topic I know a lot of commenters were curious about. Other deleted scenes posts are linked in the masterpost. I hope you enjoy!

Jiang Cheng haunts Fit for Purpose like a ghost. He barely shows up “on screen”—his only significant appearances are in the Xuanwu Cave scene and subsequent rescue—but his expectations of WWX and WWX’s desire to meet them are a driving force of the story. A big reason WWX can’t accept LWJ’s love at first is that WWX feels he needs his family’s permission to have a life of his own, and he’s sure as hell not going to get it from JC; even if, ultimately, JC might be willing to accept WWX having that life, he’s not going to say it. In the end, WWX gets that permission from the only other surviving member of the family he was raised to serve: Jin Ling. But part of the reason Jin Ling’s permission “works” is that, when he speaks, JC is speaking through him:

“Idiot,” Jin Ling says again, rolling his eyes. It’s so familiar.

Wei Wuxian smiles. His vision is blurry with tears, and he doesn’t care. “Jin Ling?”

“What?” Jin Ling scowls as he says it; that, too, is so familiar it makes Wei Wuxian’s chest ache.

Only once WWX has been “released” from his duties as a beta (as he sees them) by JL and, by proxy, JC, can he accept the happiness he’s being offered by LWJ. (Btw, the discovery that I could get around JC’s emotional constipation by having JL say things that JC wouldn’t was life-changing. 🤣 I’m definitely using my newfound power for evil in future fics haha.)

Ultimately, I’m really happy with the way that JC looms over the story, discernable mostly secondhand or in glimpses, not seen or heard directly except once. But there was a period where I felt like that was a bug, not a feature.

There came a point where, to preserve the structure of the story (alternating present day with flashbacks) I needed to come up with one last flashback scene, which would be the final flashback chronologically (the JYL flashback, which is the final one, is the only one out of chronological order – it had to be that way). I convinced myself that that missing flashback scene needed to have to do with JC, precisely because he shows up so little. Plus, I knew readers would be very curious about what JC’s take on all the beta stuff was (and comments confirm this!) I rewatched the entire post-resurrection arc, trying to find a scene that I could use. Ultimately, I realized trying to feature JC was a mistake, and I went with the Episode 50 NHS scene instead, where WWX thinks about how NHS brought him back to life in order to use him. But I wasted a week of drafting trying to get JC to talk about his feelings, and here’s how it went:

First, a take on the scene where WWX and LWJ bow in the Jiang family shrine. Because this follows the “I do not want to be to Wei Ying what others have been”/So then what do you want to be to me? scene, I liked the idea of WWX very blatantly discounting the idea that he could possibly be marrying LWJ.

As they complete their bows in the Jiang family shrine and sit back on their heels, Wei Wuxian half-laughs under his breath as something occurs to him: three bows, in front of his—well, the fact that Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen aren’t his parents is only one of a long list of things that separates these three bows from a wedding, starting with the fact that Wei Wuxian isn’t qualified.

“Wei Ying.”

He turns. Lan Zhan is watching him patiently.

“It’s nothing,” he says, shaking his head. He’d been so cavalier about that when they were kids – messing with Lan Zhan’s forehead ribbon, trying to touch it all the time. He knows better now.

He wants to be careful with Lan Zhan, now.

JIANG CHENG SHOWS UP.

“Bad enough you go wandering around Lotus Pier like it belongs to you,” A-Cheng snarls, as Wei Wuxian scrambles to his feet. “But you come to disturb my parents, my sister, with this… this farce?”

Jiang Cheng, on the other hand, understands perfectly that this is meant to be a wedding.

“A-Cheng—”

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

WWX calling JC and JYL “A-Cheng” and “Jiejie” is one of the subtle but extremely key worldbuilding motifs. He gets that extra piece of intimacy, compared to canon… but oh, the price he pays for it.

“Jiang Cheng. Lan Zhan and I just came to pay our respects—”

“Is that what you call it?” A-Cheng looks away. “You always had to be so extreme. It’s not enough for you to abandon Yunmeng Jiang Sect and our family – you have to do it right in front of my parents, and expect them to bless this—this—”

“I’m not asking Yu-furen and Jiang-shushu to bless anything. We just came to light incense.”

“That’s not what I saw. You never had any shame. But you, Lan-er-gongzi – everyone says you’re so upright.”

JC thinks of WWX marrying mostly in terms of him leaving the sect (although he also calls a wedding involving a beta a “farce”). Hypocritical, since WWX has very much already been kicked out and made unwelcome! But a JC who was of only one mind about whether he wants WWX to come back would be, frankly, totally unrecognizable. The ambivalence is baked-in.

Ultimately, that scene was not contributing to the arc of the story for a number of reasons, starting with the fact that it was way too long, and it pulled the focus away too much from LWJ and WWX. JC has a way of taking over scenes that he’s in. 🤣 He’s so loud!

So then I’m like, okay, let’s do the climactic convo in Guanyin Temple. One advantage: it’s so salient to fans that I barely need to do any setup to establish where and when we are.

“Wei Wuxian.” The flickering light of hundreds of candles plays over A-Cheng’s face, taut with rage. A drop of blood falls from the wound on his chest onto the temple floor. “Do you want me to bow down in thanks for your selflessness? Should I put my face to the floor and apologize for not acknowledging your noble sacrifice—”

“It wasn’t any of those things,” Wei Wuxian says. His hands ache, clenched in his lap. “It wasn’t noble, or selfless, I didn’t do it to be acknowledged, I—it was my duty, A-Cheng, that’s all it w—”

“I don’t want your duty!” A-Cheng screams, his face a mask of pain. “I want—”

He chokes. Coughs. Blood trickles over his lower lip.

Before he can finish wiping it away, Jin Guangyao returns. There’s no time, then, for A-Cheng to finish what he meant to say.

It doesn’t make sense, Wei Wuxian thinks, remembering it later. What was the whole promise of the Twin Heroes of Yunmeng about, if not about duty?

I was pretty sure that it would be clear to readers that JC is saying he doesn’t want WWX’s duty, he wants WWX’s love. If I could have gotten this scene to write, it would have been a really nice complement to the final Jin Ling scenes – showing that WWX’s inability to understand that he is loved unconditionally ultimately sabotages his family relationships as well as his relationship with LWJ.

But the scene would not write, partly because JC is wrong. Yes, he wants WWX’s love, and wants WWX to stay with him and serve him out of love. But he also wants WWX’s duty. He wants WWX to keep his promises. He wants WWX to fill the role that society has ordained for him, just the way JC himself feels constrained to do, for all his life. Again: the ambivalence is baked-in.

And I trusted readers would know that – that they would have the same question WWX has at the end of this scene. But having WWX flag it both felt clumsy and failed to provide closure to the scene. And not flagging it at all, letting JC’s statement to unchallenged, would have damaged my credibility with readers who might think they were expected to take JC’s statement at face value.

Undeterred, I took another swing at Guanyin Temple.

“Wei Wuxian!” In Guanyin Temple, the flickering light of hundreds of candles plays over A-Cheng’s face, taut with anguish. “Do you want me to bow down in thanks for your selflessness? Should I put my face to the floor and apologize for not acknowledging your noble sacrifice?”

“A-Cheng. Stop,” says Wei Wuxian. He’s so tired. He wishes they’d never come here. “That wasn’t—it wasn’t noble. It was just… what I owed to Yunmeng Jiang—”

“What you owed? What you owed us was to stay!” A-Cheng snarls, eyes wet. His clenched hands rise to his chest. “That’s what it means to have a beta, they stay – A-Jie got married and left, we knew she would get married and leave, but you—we were supposed to be everything to you. You promised… we’d be everything to you.”

He looks so young, for a moment; breakable. Wei Wuxian aches.

Then the lines of age and pain carve themselves into his brother’s face again. “Your home, your family… that’s enough for every other beta. But not for the great Wei Wuxian,” A-Cheng finishes bitterly, as he turns away.

Wei Wuxian aches. “You were enough, A-Cheng—”

“No,” A-Cheng spits, low. “You had to have your heroics. You had to have him.” He jerks his head at Lan Zhan, who looks coldly back. “The great Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Laozu, could never have been just a sect leader’s subordinate. Every other sect has betas who act like a beta should act. Who know their place. I’ll never know what Yunmeng Jiang did to deserve you.”

I think this scene is on the right track, actually. But it raises issues that just cannot be resolved in a little half-page vignette. You can see me trying to bring the focus back to Wangxian at the end of this bit, but it’s not enough – JC is yet again taking up all the air in the room, bless his heart. And it would have been a distraction.

It was at this point that I realized that I didn’t need to shove more JC into the story, because he’s already so present, even if only by implication. And if readers were curious about his role, it wouldn’t do the story any harm to let them come to their own conclusions.

For what it’s worth, my take is that JC has no problem with the way that society treats betas – and why should he? He’s been raised to believe that this is all totally normal. And don’t forget, WWX’s sexual availability is framed by alphas and omegas as a benefit to WWX, something they’re jealous of, “oh, how lucky for you that you can have sex with whoever you want instead of just your spouse!” It’s not that he sees WWX being taken advantage of and is okay with it—he does not perceive WWX to be taken advantage of in the first place. And that makes sense, because neither does WWX! But, at the same time, JC loves WWX very much, and he demonstrates with his actions again and again that he doesn’t buy the idea that WWX’s life is worth less than his, or that it’s WWX’s purpose to sacrifice himself for JC. To me, that’s peak JC: do not expect him to challenge structural oppression, but by God, he will walk to hell and back on bare feet for the people he loves.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Tomorrow's batch of deleted scenes specifically focus on Wangxian.