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nemesyaaa · 1 month

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a house in nebraska ! rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary ; you were the reason he won't come home but you still call home. this story is based on the song of ethel cain.

warnings : it's angst. fully angst. it's about toxic relationship. so violence, arguing and fighting, sick behavior, daddy and mommy issues, the urge of love and being loved, mentions of drugs, the feeling of being misunderstood and unsteady. home is used as a metaphor of relationship. it's about inner rage too. slight of smut but very little. both rafe and reader being fucked up. southern goth/small town coded.

author's note : it's my first time writing angst so be easy one me please ! as i said, it's based on " a house in nebraska" by ethel cain (because she's my favorite artist and my muse.) and a lot of her songs make me think of rafe, but i also take inspo of her others songs like crush, strangers, and hard times. also a hint of bet on losing dogs by mitski.

i dont know how many words are in this works, but i think around 3k ? it's a one-shot ! BETTER TO READ IT WHILE LISTENING TO A SAD SONG. (a house in nebraska (live version)or anything else)

you lived in the nebraska with rafe, he was your man and you were his girl. it was a small town that allowed you to be just him and you against the world, to be safe from the rest. but the ugly truth was that your house had become a raging mess. the mattresses had become dirty, the silence too comfortable, the night too long, the emptiness too deep, the love too absent and the violence too present. everyone was angry here, even demons and the silence.

rafe was a storm, and every time you tried to calm it, you became further worse. no, you weren't becoming like him, you were becoming him, the mirror of his emotions, full of rage and inexpressible feelings. like a bomb, you needed it to come out, to scream and explode. like a bomb, you needed to hurt, and destroy everything in your way.

you had built this house together, when he still worked with his hands, oh god, how much you loved those big and strong hands, the dirt and bruises on his skin. the softness of his palms when he touched you, the pulsating veins engraved. they were made to love you, to caging you. they were always rushed with blood and wounds because of his work, but despite how dirty they were when he came home, they were always pure and clean on your body. but you also were so in love with his messy sweaty hair, caressing by the wind. he was tall and handsome, the kind of man who worked all day, and drunk at night, some whiskey or bourbon. but never missed to please the needs of his girl.

when he smoked his red marlboros on the porch, you were sitting on his lap like a sleepy girl to take a nap on his heavy arms that managed to hug your body. when he took a sip of his cold beer, while you had nothing to do but being his own pretty girl. when he allowed you to bathe him, cleaning the mess and the sweat. when you used to learn him how to play some classic music on the old piano, and he was just turned on by the way you used so damn well your fingers, and making you sit on the board, and fuck you right there, even if the windows were wide open.

at this time, you would have die for him.

when he still listened to what you said, when he still answered your calls and did not make you sick by his silence, when you laughed every time he came home . but now you were starting to hate the fact that he was coming.

how did the man who was supposed to make you so happy manage to break you so easily? but you weren't an angel either, oh far from it, you had neither wings nor halo on your head, you didn't even have god in your heart. you made him, like all men, your enemy.

it was four in the morning, it was still dark, you were waiting in the living room.

the tv wasn't on. rafe had broken it during an argument. that wasn’t the only thing he shattered, you had to be the hardest thing he does. not even with his fists, with just the force of his words, the way they were murderous, the way they had the force to tear your heart open and crushed it into pieces.

most people would say that this man was not the type to cry, that a man doesn't cry, but rafe cried. and you had seen him a couple of times, and the first time you saw him burst into tears, you knew straight away that it was the real him. that behind all this hatred, this anger, there was a hurted little boy. and who grew up with an open wound, a wound impossible to heal, even with all the love in the world.

rafe was the kind of man who screamed, who cried, who bled, a fallen angel who had lost god along the way, who had been ignored, but mostly, never heard.

when he opened the door to the house, you hated the strong smell of alcohol, but also of blood. you never asked him for anything, the only thing you wanted was for him to come home on time for dinner, to go to bed with you. but no one, absolutely, no one tamed a dog like him. and you rathered not bet on losing dogs.

“where were you ?? ” you had already started shouting due to lack of patience, getting up from the chair to confront him.

you had seen him sigh, making that bored face, like you had no reason to be upset, that face that made all women become even worse.

“if you had the same energy to scream when we fuck, we would have a fantastic sex life.”

“seriously, rafe? you want to play the asshole, right now ? ”

“ it will suit your bitch behavior, so why not ?”

you slapped him very hard in the face. what obviously rafe didn't find this very amusing, he crushed you in the wall, pinned your hands above your head.

“ don't you dare slapping me again. you want to be mean, sweetheart ? i can be meaner. let's see....oh this is the necklace that your mom offered to you before leaving ? how sweet. maybe, i can sell it for a good price. ”

“ rafe. don't. ”

he shushed you, by putting his other hand on your mouth. “ you're not allowed to talk right now. you had your turn for, now, it's my fucking turn. and i will do whatever the fuck i want ! it's my house, my rules. ”

he unhooked the necklace, as you tried to break away from his grip but he closed his fingers tighter against your wrists.

“I'm going to kill you, no matter what you do, i'm going to kill you. ”

“murder me” he said with a louder voice. “i’m asking you to murder me! it’s probably the only good thing you’ll have done well in your life. you know even if i die tonight, i will die yours. even if you kill me, i will always be here.”

he released you, and you exploded. “you have exceeded the limits, rafe! ”

” since when are there boundaries between us, sugar? we're freaks, remember? ”

you threw away the first object you found, it was an empty coffee cup. you threw it at his face. but he had dodged it with a sick smile. your jaw clenched, eyes blazing with fury, you were out of control. you were what he wanted you to be every time he came home late

” oh you can do better than that baby. i'm sure i taught you how to shoot better than this when i showed you how to kill? do you remember? ”

“ this, this fucking attitude, rafe is why everybody leaves you ! ”

“ yes. and do i fucking care, y/n ? do i fucking care ? i grew up in a family where nobody loved me, nobody reached after me, nobody looked after me, nobody dared to pay attention to me and you tell me i have to care about everyone leaving me ? no, it's not fucking fair ! so do you understand ? i don't care. if you want to leave, you know better than me that the door is open because you're the only one to be stucking in front, waiting like a fucking dog that i come come. ”

“ fine. i leave ! ”

you took the keys of the car, even if rafe hated that you drove, especially at midnight. but you were too upset, too mad.

your man wasn't done with you. he stood in front of the car you were driving.

“if you think i'm afraid of killing you, when you were the one who taught me how to do that, you're wrong. ”

" yes ? then show me how well i did my job. kill me. ”

“ rafe, i’m not kidding. ”

“ perfect, we are both serious then. ”

you moved the car forward, pressing the pedal with your feet. you hitted him with the car. it was strong but not violent either.

you got out of the car quickly to check on him. but he was smiling, a little blood on his face.

“are you sick!? ”

“ i raised you well, i fear. now, lick this face. i can see in your eyes how pretty you find me covered with blood, so please yourself, lick it all. ”

“ wait, i will find some tis….”

“ no, with your tongue. clean my whole face with your tongue. don't waste anything. i want to be able to kiss you right after, and recognize the taste of my blood all over your mouth. you want to be sick ? make me feel sick too. ”

maybe you were too young to realize that some loves could be bad. but this relationship was toxic. you had both destroyed each other, and it was complicated when you saw this world, this universe only through your union. you felt like you had lost a lot, like you had lost everything, like you had failed. maybe, you were the failure, and rafe, the problem. but also, maybe, he was the failure and you, the problem.

and you hated not knowing what was going on in rafe's head, you hated that no one on this earth could figure it out, and that even rafe himself didn't know it. he was crazy, he was sick but that wasn't all, it couldn't be just that.

you gave up the fight, going to the bathroom to take a bath. you needed some peace because the house didn't feel like a home anymore.

sometimes wheezie would call you to see if you were okay, she had grown up, and you lied to her all the time. because it hurt so much to be two in a relationship, but not feel like you were a part of it anymore. and the worst part of it all was that you could kill yourself for just one minute of affection, just one second of happiness, just one moment in the past when everything was okay. where rafe was still the sweet little boy you knew. but the stories were not meant to have a happy ending.

it was hard this feeling, this lack when he still lived with you in this terrible house. but one day you'll be the reason he won't come home again. but you would always call home. you promised yourself. because it would always be yours.

rafe had joined you in the bathtub. and you could tell by his red and empty eyes, his blank stare that he had been crying. he cried and he was not the drugs, he was you, only you.

and you didn't mention it. you didn't say anything. you preferred to stay smart and not start another fight.

“the walls could break down with so much screams. ” you said, laughing slightly.

“maybe we should sell the house. ”

“i like this house. i feel at home here. i have nowhere to go. ” you lied for the two first, but not for the last.

and it was true. you had built everything, paved everything here. you had remade a world. you couldn't leave, you couldn't leave anything. and above all, you were too tired to leave.

it would be a lie to say that you didn't had sex in the bathtub, that you didn't feel his tears on your shoulder, that you didn't feel his thrusts get harder each time a sob broke out his empty eyes, that you didn't feel how much he was breaking every time you took pleasure. because, it was hard for him to seeing you being happy. because it was so hard to take care of you. because it was so hard to feel loved and being loved. you were both too young, too stupid, too sick for love.

and rafe wanted to make you happy without sex, without all this selfish sex. no, he wanted to make you happy by some casual things. but sometimes, you pissed him off so bad to the point, he wanted to leave. but how can a man who hoped to be loved can leave the woman who promised to cherish him ? it was too tired, too angry, and too unsteady to leave. you broke him too. and it was sad for him, because you were the only one he was not scared to tell it hurts.

but at six in the morning you were fighting again as if it were a ritual, a need, a desire to destroy each other, as if sometimes love needed to be violent and destructive to work. actually, for freaks like you, surely.

“why did you throw my fucking drugs down the toilet?! ”

“because you don’t need that!” ”

“you don’t know what i need, you barely know what i want! you had no fucking right to do that. ”

“ don't be a crybaby ! ”

“ repeat. i dare you to repeat. ”

“crybaby! you're a fucking crybaby, rafe! your new personality changes nothing about the boy you were and will always be! what, you don't like the truth ? bad for you, i'm about to tell you what everyone doesn't want to tell you. because i'm not scared at all of you ! you're a fucking crybaby ! ”

“ but you're still here, you're still fucking here. because you know what ? i'm maybe a crybaby, but i'm a river worth wading. and this is why, you're standing in front of me with all this confidence. you wanted a broken man, you wanted someone to fix ? then come on baby, i'm here, i'm watching you, i'm listening, i'm literally at your feets, fix me ! fix the little boy you wanted, make him better. ”

“ rafe…”

“no, i'm asking you now who do you think you are? do you think that because you have this attitude, it doesn't make you a little girl who needs her daddy? because damn, yes, you need him. but i fear daddy was the only one who didn't need you because guess what ? he left. and you make all the men leave around you ! but the difference between us is that you care. when i fucking dont care.”

“ you're sick, a sick asshole. and don't touch me ! ” you pushed him away, but he came back, his hand on your throat. “ but you're the sick one who loves me, remember that ?” he answered.

“ but do you think i still love you ? ” you said with a smirk, taking pleasure to see his widen eyes. “ i'm asking you right now, do you think i still love you, and if one day, someone will like you like i do ? it would be so hard for you to find happiness after me, i can promise you this. you will fight a lot. because ? can you see ? can you see i can breathe without you, i can live without you ? but you, can you do this ? yes, you can fight, you can scream and shout but what else ? ”

“ it doesn't hurt, y/n. it doesn't hurt. and you can't break me, as you can't fix me. ”

“ then why are you crying, big boy ? why are those tears for, if not for me ? ”

“ i built a home for you, i did everything for you. ”

“ and then what ? ”

“ don't make me regret it, y/n. don't make me regret the only good thing i've made well in my life, just don't make me regret...this. you don't understand. why did every house i'm in never felt like home ? ”

“ you destroy everything, rafe. but me too, i guess. the difference is that you have an excuse, a reason for being like that. your dad fucked up with you. and i hate him for that. if he had loved you correctly, you would have known and learned how to love people, how to be attached to them. but you don't know any of that, you don't know what it is to love, and to be loved. everything i do for you, you could call it love, even when i'm mean. but it's false, love is tender, it's beautiful. but you know, i think i'm sick because i also like the way you love me, this violence, this rage, this impulsiveness, it drives me crazy but it makes me alive. so, do you think you could do it again? ”

“ why you didn't leave, why you never leave ? ”

“ because it's our house. we're stuck in forever. this is our house in nebraska, our only heaven. now be a good boy and cry a little for me, i think i'm going away a little...” you said, taking him in your arms, your hand placed on his back, and your hand pressed to his cheek. “don’t worry, i cry a lot too. all the time, even when you make me happy. ” you shushed him, bursted in tears in the hug.

you kissed him on the corner of his lips, your mouth meeting his tears, before he joined you in this kiss, you felt his sad and salty tongue against yours, his hands came squeeze your waist.

but now in the present, you were alone. the house still existed but it was just you.

you weren't sleeping anymore, because you kept hoping that he would come home, you were hoping that he would come home late at night.

but you were alone in a dirty and cold mattress. and you prayed for him hoping he was okay. the phone was broken but you were hoping to hear it ring, the door was open and you were waiting for a sign.

nothing was right, everything was wrong. you just wanted to say to rafe that he had you, that he had a house, and his home missed him, like nobody ever does in his life.

you didn't realize that you had been lying all this time, and that you were silently dying. but at least you died, only his.

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jamespottersdaisy · 1 year

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Red.

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

"I'd rather not see you at all."

"You'd miss me."

based on a request.

warnings: banter, probably fluff, my writing

8.1k

author's note: i dont know how i feel about this but enjoy. english is not my first language so beware <3

You stood on your feet, staring dead into the brown eyes before you. You weren't even aware of your frown, but you were sure you didn't look happy. His mocking eyes were eliciting you, sending waves of rage down your chest.

"How about you two sit together?" James asked, smiling with his eyes.

You reminded yourself that your anger wasn't aimed at James but rather at his tall and vexatious friend. Thus, instead of snapping at him, you sent him a mere warning glare.

"Or you can just fight. That'll work," James shrugged and turned around.

Your eyes averted back to Remus, who had slouched behind your desk–the same desk you had been sitting behind for years.

"That is my seat, Lupin."

He didn't budge at all, keeping on staring at you.

"I didn't see your name on it."

You pinched the bridge of your nose. This boy was going to be the end of you.

"Remus," you said, "I've sat there last year and the year before that, please go find yourself another desk."

"It's a new school year, though, is it not? Make a change."

He must be testing your patience, which was at its limit. The lesson was about to start and yet you were still on your feet.

You blamed Remus for that.

The desk he had been resting behind was yours. You didn't need to write your name on it, everyone knew it was yours. For six years of Transfiguration, you had been sitting there, listening or sometimes disturbing the class with James and Sirius. It had a nice view of the board and could hide you well if needed.

Thus, you had always sat behind Pads and Prongs while Remus sat…

Well, you didn't know where he sat, but it was definitely not next to you.

"Miss Y/L/N, sit down please."

You closed your eyes for a moment when you heard Professor McGonagall's stern tone. With a quick glance around, it was obvious that you were the only one standing. So after a sharp exhale, you sat down next to Remus.

"Wanker."

Remus let out a derisive hum.

This. This was what would drive you crazy. This was what would make you want to strangle the boy, burn the body and get away with murder. That mocking, jeering and pleased hum.

James and Sirius would always tease you for not getting along with one person that anyone could get along with. Always fighting and bantering with one person that anyone could have a proper conversation with.

The problem was that they weren't exactly wrong.

You always witnessed how Remus was kind and gentle with everyone, rendering it absolutely impossible to bicker with him. He would smile and nod, easing his way out of every dilemma. He wouldn't pick a fight, and certainly wouldn't provoke anyone.

Except you.

With you, he was acting like a moronic person. Or that's what you thought.

When you were little, he would pull your braids in the mornings, but would mumble a quick 'I liked your hair today' in the evenings.

When you were famished for breakfast, he would grab the last waffle before you could, leaving you frowning with an aching hunger, but then leave bars of chocolate on your books during class breaks.

When you would be studying with the Marauders and couldn't cast a spell, he would smirk and mock your ineptness but would seek you out before the exam and explain how to move your wrist better than any professor could.

He would never disrespect you, but wouldn't let you stay sane throughout the day, either.

Lost between his inconsistent behaviours, you would find yourself confused, overthinking every tiny interaction to fathom if he cared for you or not. You would often decide on the latter.

For the sake of the other boys, you would ignore his gall and cheekiness. Although you had moments of outbursts, which would eventually lead to a bigger fight, you had managed to keep the problem under control so far.

"Miss, Y/L/N?"

You jerked your head up, finding the source of your name. McGonagall was piercing through you with her icy eyes, almost judging you for not listening, without voicing anything.

"Yes, professor?"

"Answer the question."

What question?

She asked a question?

You parted your lips, shuffling useless facts or overlooked memories in your mind to stumble upon the right one.

You felt one second drew out to one minute, or maybe it was simply your anxiety. Embarrassment was making its way under your skin with every second- or minute?

You were starting to sweat as your body was on fire.

"Levicorpus," Remus whispered under his mouth.

Not wasting a second, you repeated the word, earning a nod from the Professor. She turned away, carrying on with the lesson.

"What was the question?" you asked the boy. He didn’t bother to look at you.

"Pay attention next time."

“James, it’s a terrible, horrible, and incredibly foolish idea.”

You were dawdling around in the yard, enjoying the weather while you could. With the chill breeze mingling around your hair, nothing could ruin your peace. That is until the Marauders entered the scene.

“Exactly. That’s why we should do it.”

Being friends with James and Sirius was hard, especially if you’re the only one with common sense. Who would believe making a firework explosion in the middle of the Great Hall would earn them a ball to celebrate Christmas?

James and Sirius.

“We need to call Dumbledore’s attention. Bring it right up to the headmaster, or it won’t work,” Sirius backed up his friend. You ignored Remus’s scoff-like laugh.

“Your worry is that if you bomb up the Great Hall in front of any other professor except Dumbledore you won’t get a ball?”

“See, now you’re getting it-”

“What makes you think you will get a ball?”

James stopped walking, put his hands on each side of his waist in disappointment, and frowned.

“Now, you’re just repeating Moony.”

You glanced at Remus, who was staring at you with blank and tired eyes. This boy really needed to sleep, but that was another day’s problem. Your eyes lingered a bit longer on his attire before returning to James; tawny jumper with black lines and ivory trousers under a pastel orange trench coat.

“Rare moment of your Moony using his common sense,” you shrugged. “You know you’ll get a huge detention, right?”

“What else is new?” James smirked. “Are you gonna help us?”

The prospect of a ball during Christmas did entertain you. Fancy dresses and music, all while carousing with your friends was something no teenager would reject. And you knew if things wouldn’t go as planned, Marauders wouldn’t acknowledge your involvement; that was an agreement between the four boys even Remus had honoured. So you agreed to help them.

They made you regret it a few moments later in the Gryffindor common room.

“I’m not working with Remus.” you shook your head intently, wearing a displeased expression.

“Oh come on! Why not?” James pleaded. “You two are the best at Charms! You just need to figure out how to charm the fireworks to act how we want them to. Pete will get them and hide them, while Pads and I will handle transforming them into letters.”

“Because last time we worked on something together, it blew right in our faces.” you point at Remus with your hand. “I got zero when I could’ve got the best point available.”

“Wasn’t the potion perfect? Professor gave you a zero because you wouldn’t stop bickering,” Peter said. “It was very distracting.”

You cringed at the memory. Your hard work had held no value only for a little (or not so little) quarrel with your partner. The only nice outcome was that they rarely partnered you two together anymore.

Remus was slouched on the couch, legs apart with one hand placed on his thigh, while the other held a book. He lowered his book to look at your discontented face.

“I’m not happy about it either, yet you don’t see me whinging.”

You winced at him in aversion.

“I’d rather not see you at all.”

“You’d miss me,” he tilted his head, wearing a feigned smile.

James clapped his hands to prevent another incoming tiff.

“Alright, you two will start your research when you see fit and keep us updated. Don’t drag it out until November though, it’s a bit of a complicated matter.”

By the time a month had passed, you had figured that irritation was like a bunch of thorns piercing through your skin thanks to Remus. You had also learned that you can murder someone by spoon, but why would anyone bother themselves with shoving the spoon down Remus’s throat?

Therefore, you had been sitting with Remus every week, halting yourself from stabbing him with your quill. He wasn’t helping you out at all.

“Stop hitting my arm,” you whisper-shouted once more. Was Remus Lupin thick-headed? He didn’t look like it, so he probably just enjoyed getting a reaction out of you.

“What is your arm’s business next to mine? Sit properly.”

“Remus, If you haven’t noticed, you’re tall–”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t mean it as a compliment, shut up,” your head snapped in his direction, facing his smug grin. “You’re taking much more space than me.”

“Well, sorry for you.”

“You’re distracting me from my studies.”

“You’re doodling right now,” he pointed to the paper before you with his brows. “And miserably failing, if I may add.”

“No, you may not–”

“Is that supposed to be a rabbit?” he inclined his head an inch more to the paper. You smelled his shampoo from his hair, crisp and woodsy and; the brown locks were so close you wanted to run your hand through them to see if they were real.

“That’s clearly a cat.”

“Why does your cat have two paws?”

“She’s sitting!”

“You really suck at this,” he propped his head back, offering you a pitiful look.

“Oh, and you’re rocking?”

“Ten points from Gryffindor, Miss Y/L/N,” you flinched at your name from McGonagall.

“But professor, Lupin–”

“One more distraction and I will make it twenty.”

You clenched your jaw shut and lowered your head, letting embarrassment swallow you whole as all Gryffindor students sent you scrutinising glares. Of course, you would be the unlucky one that would get picked by the professor, not Remus, who was provoking you in the first place.

So, until the end of the class, you kept your head low and zoned out with your doodles.

You drew a circle, but it was more like a sun in your mind. Or the moon. You didn’t remember.

You drew ears for the moon, and it seemed like two triangles stuck to a circle, but you didn’t mind that either.

You even took some notes of the lesson but then you scribbled something that’s supposed to be a lamp or a cactus on them, so they weren’t very readable in the end.

You only snapped out of it when the unusual noise rioted, signalling that the class was dismissed. You had spent an hour doing nothing; an amazing use of time.

Remus pushed a parchment on your art pieces, covering them. You didn’t see what was scrawled on the parchment as Remus’s hand had blocked the ink.

“I do rock,” he said before heading out of the classroom.

You stared after him as he disappeared behind the door. You thought he would be in the library as you lifted the parchment.

It was a sketch of you from the side.

You took the red velvet cookie in your hand, examining it for any trace of poison. They seemed perfectly fine, delicious even. What was troubling you was that they were a treat from James. Thus, there was no way you could get good-looking, appetising, tasty cookies without a headache.

“Have you two started your research?”

That was it. You had a headache.

Therefore, you deserved the cookies. You took three of them in your hand and threw yourself next to Sirius. You turned to lock eyes with Remus, all while nibbling on your sweet.

You noticed him looking at you and then your hands and then...your lips? You immediately pushed the thought deep into your mind, not indulging it even a second. No, he was probably staring at the cookie next to your lips.

Unconsciously, you put the sweet down and arched a brow at him.

“Not yet,” he said without breaking eye contact with you.

You heard James groan and used it as an excuse to avert your eyes, but you could still feel his brown gaze set your body aflame. You couldn’t quite figure out if it was his hatred or something else that you refused to voice that was burning through you. You didn’t dwell on it.

“You’re waiting for Christmas Eve to do it?”

“Prongs is right, Pick a time and do your homework, lads,” Sirius agreed. “Pete is done already.”

“It’s hard to mentally prepare yourself for Remus,” you said, mouth half full.

“Don’t talk your mouth full, it’s disgusting.”

“You haven’t seen yourself eating, have you?”

“Here we go again,” James complained. “Just go to the bloody library and find the spells, will ya?”

Remus stood up, and strode up next to you, towering over you. You stared at him like he was a crazy person, which he was in your opinion.

“Let’s go,” he said.

“Now?”

“Yes, you have things to do?”

You didn’t have things to do. In fact, your only to-do list for today was eating red velvet cookies. That’s why you didn’t know why you were hesitant to go and be alone with Remus. You didn’t know why your heart started to pick a race, either.

“I’m…” You looked around, seeking an excuse that you knew didn’t exist. “Eating cookies?”

Remus grabbed the cookie jar. “You’ll eat them on our way to the library.”

All four boys were looking at you expectantly, so you hopped on your feet. You didn’t bother to take the jar from Remus.

“Don’t sulk, Y/N, it’s for the greater good!” You heard Sirius call after you.

You exited the common room, went down the stairs and hastened to the library. You didn’t look back for Remus; you knew he was there. You could feel his presence.

You didn’t question how he had managed to get the cookie jar in when you entered the library and he placed it on a table. You simply turned to the books, chasing their titles with your finger.

“What are we exactly looking for?”

“Something that will charm the fireworks to act how we want,” Remus mumbled, too focused on the book titles. You noticed him examining the shelves that you had passed because of your height. It both irritated and tingled you the way he effortlessly could reach the top shelves.

“And how do we want them to act?”

“Fly around in order, not the way they fly around usually.”

You hummed and didn’t engage in anything more. Taking a cookie from the jar, you started reading and digging into all sorts of books.

How to charm your brush to comb your hair?

Not the one you've been looking for but sounded nice, you should look it up some other time.

Charms to take revenge on the ones that wronged you.

Would Remus get suspicious if you picked that one? You should look that one up too, next time.

Charms for cheating in the exam.

Why did a school shelter a book like this?

Charms for celebrations.

You smiled, looking up at the red-covered book. If there was a celebration, then there certainly would be fireworks.

You stretched out your hand to take the book, but your fingers only brushed its spine.

You climbed on your tiptoes, trying again. This time you could feel the engraved title letters on the spine. But other than that, to no avail.

A heft and warmth, that didn’t belong to you, stroke your body. Your skin reacted faster than you did. You felt the surge of an unfamiliar heat and shivers under your skin, unable to fathom the hand on your hand.

You turned your head back, almost bumping it into Remus's chin. He wasn't looking at you, but you could see his clenched jaw and stiffened shoulders. The close proximity was suffocating, or maybe your breath had hitched. Either way, you held your breath.

Remus grabbed the red book, stepped back and started skimming it.

"You're starting,” he said.

It took you longer than usual to react to him.

"I found the book first," you said after recovering from the sudden and uncharacteristic surge of heat. You hoped your face wasn't flustered.

"Why didn't you take it first then?"

He was mocking your height difference, and it didn’t annoy you this time. It did, however, make you conscious of your heart’s rhythm.

"I was close. You interrupted me."

Remus looked up from the book, a teasing smile gleaming on his lips.

"The only thing you were close to was hitting your head on the shelf."

You frown, being absolutely free of his previous effect on you. You snatched the book out of his hand and sat behind the table. You didn't raise your head when Remus stood in front of you and over your head, with his arms placed on the table.

You focused on the ink, forgetting Remus’s suffocating presence. That’s why you didn’t want to be left alone with him.

After a few minutes and lines or pages, your eyes twinkled with mischief. Two pages of instruction on different ways of charming fireworks.

"Found it."

The easy part was done.

You let Remus take the book from you. He read the page with a wrinkle between his brows and nodded after finishing it.

“We’ll have to start practising it soon.”

“Have some pity, I exceeded my weekly tolerance of you, today,” you murmured. “I can’t spend any more time with you.”

“And what made you think that I enjoyed our time together?” Remus stepped a bit back and leaned into a shelf.

You parted your lips and then closed them again. Time had gone rather unproblematic with Remus today, and ended without a headache. It was almost...boring.

“You never even once did something to annoy me.”

His lips curved, eyes gleaming in amusement.

“Do you want me to annoy you?”

You hated the teasing in his tone. Something between confusion and disclosure hit you in the gut, goosebumps rose in your arm as a response to your fluttering heart.

“What? No, why would I–”

“Do you enjoy bickering with me, Y/N?”

“I don’t!"

“You sure? Sometimes it sounds like you’re picking fights with me on purpose.”

“You flatter yourself, Lupin,” you laughed, a bit awkwardly. He was smiling now, one step away from smirking. You noticed you rarely saw him smile this big around you. It was beautiful.

“Just like you said, I wasn’t the one annoying you today. You started it.”

You felt the temperature rise in your body, embracing you without your consent. You didn’t appreciate the way he threw the accusations at you or the way his eyes wrinkled adorably when he beamed.

“You’re not the only one hating the other.”

Your lips uttered the words but you didn’t hear yourself. You were too busy to stare at his changing expressions. His smile ebbed a little, but not enough to wipe the soft wrinkles around his eyes. He walked up to you, excruciatingly slow, looming over you. You watched his eyes rambling between your eyes, and even travelling to your lips, too. Your eyes, however, stayed only on the brown orbs, sorting out every layer, every colour, every blemish one by one.

“I don’t hate you,” you heard him drawl.

Before you could take in what he murmured, his face changed into something else. You fathomed it from the twitch in his jaw and his faltering blinks.

“You’re just annoying,” he said as if recovering his tone.

He stepped back, eyes lingering on your lips for one more second before turning away. You bit down your lips as you watched him exit the library.

“I brought candles,” you announced, tossing the candles to the wooden floor. They made an uncomfortably loud thud on the ground, causing you to grimace in displeasure.

“Yes, please make sure to break all of them. Don’t leave one unharmed,” you rolled your eyes at Remus’s cynical voice in the other corner of the Requirement Room.

You two have been visiting there to learn the charm of the fireworks every week. For two weeks, you had been working with the sticks and had mastered them. Thus, it was time to finally alter the sticks with candles, something that resembled a firework according to Sirius. They didn’t want to work on fireworks, it would be a waste for James.

“They’re fine. Don’t be dramatic,” you said to him as he walked up to you, glancing at the candles on the floor.

You felt him squat down, grabbing a white candle. He showed you a crack on it that wasn’t there before.

“It was there before.”

“Yeah, sure,” he grinned. “What’s with the colours?”

You shrugged. Why choose only white candles when you could have red and yellow and purple and pink also?

“Don’t mind the colours. Let’s start.”

Remus lit a candle as you took out your wand. He placed it on a chair, and stepped back, waiting for you to cast the spell.

When you first muttered the incantation, nothing happened.

You tried again, this time more fiercely both in your spelling and movements.

Nothing happened, The candle was sitting on the chair, mocking you with its flame. You were sure Remus was also repeating the same internally.

“You’re too hesitant to bend your wrist,” he said.

You didn’t hear any teasing in his voice but still cringed in embarrassment.

“You won’t put out the candle if you bend your wrist a bit hard, Y/N. Stop hesitating,” he said again.

You tried once more, despite the sweat forming on your temple from anxiety.

With sticks, it was easy. Say the spell, bend the wrist and aim the wand.

With candles, you were afraid you would mess it up somehow; maybe put out the fire or even start a bigger fire. It was a fire, after all, it was dangerous.

When you failed again, Remus made his way to you, standing only a step away behind you.

You felt his breath behind your neck as he closed that one step, laying his body onto yours. You didn’t manage to ask him what he was doing, you didn’t need to. Your heart dropped when he put his hand on yours, lifting it in the air. He aimed it towards the candle, but you were too out of it to apprehend.

Your whole body was focused on his skin on yours, savouring his touch on you without your permission. Suddenly, you didn’t think the sweat was from anxiety. You didn’t think your heartbeats were from embarrassment. You didn’t think your whole body was aflame because you were conscious of your ineptness.

You knew what it was. You knew what it was that set fires in the core of your chest, grasped the air from your lungs, and took the strength in your muscles away.

But you didn’t acknowledge it.

You let Remus move your arm, copying the instructions. You let him brush your hand with his fingers. You let him show you how to bend your wrist all while his hand on yours. You let him whisper the incantation in your ear.

You felt the void around your fingers when he withdrew his hand and his body from yours.

“Go on,” he said, so low you wouldn’t hear him if you weren’t holding your breath.

You aimed the wand, bent your wrist, and cast the spell.

The candle rose to the air, attracting a few candles to itself and lighting them up.

“Attagirl. My turn."

You said nothing as you stepped away, letting Remus place himself in front of the chair. You lighted another candle for him and put it on the chair.

You watched him take a stance and aim his wand. You didn’t know if it was because of his stance or his long legs or arms, but he looked…handsome.

He looked handsome with his serious expression; wrinkled brows, clenched jaw, stiff shoulders and narrowed eyes.

Heck, he looked handsome with his smiling expression too; curled-up pink lips, brown locks decorating his forehead, chestnut eyes glistening as his smile.

You cursed yourself at your admission.

He cast the spell, succeeding with the first attempt. The side of his lip inched up with pride for a tiny second.

You did it. You were ready for the plan. The only thing left was James and Sirius’s work.

He turned his eyes to yours.

“We did it.”

“Yes,” you nodded and got to collect the candles.

Remus frowned, visibly uncomfortable at something.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“What?”

You refused to glance at him. You didn’t want to admit anything else just because his ridiculous gorgeousness affected you.

“Something’s wrong. You’re acting weird.”

“How am I acting weird? I’m just cleaning up the mess so we can go and eat.”

“Yeah, but,” he started helping you out by gathering the unused candles, “You’re a bit–”

“I didn’t know you cared about me,” you snapped your head in his direction.

He stopped whatever he was doing. You saw him swallow.

“I don’t.”

“Good.”

You almost threw your candles at him.

“I’m going to dinner.”

You didn’t wait for him. As you exited the room, you reminded yourself that he thought of you as annoying.

“Stop panicking.”

“I’m not panicking!” You wiped your palms on your cloak, counting to ten to calm your nervousness.

“Yeah, sure, that’s why your breath is unsteady.”

“Why are you even focused on my breath?”

You frowned when Remus didn’t reply.

It was a big day. In the end, you'll either end up dreaming about your ball dress or worrying about the detention.

James and Sirius were in the Great Hall, hidden under the Invisibility Cloak. They were waiting for your charmed fireworks as you and Remus were waiting for Peter to bring them behind the gate.

Everyone was busy eating their dinner, like a casual evening. Chatters and clatters were mingling in the air, serving you an opportunity for secrecy.

Remus was standing next to you–a bit close, as your arms were glued together. His eyes were on the corner where James and Sirius were, as your eyes should be looking for Peter.

Except that you weren't looking for Peter.

No matter how much you wanted to prevent it, your eyes were drawn to Remus.

For the last fifteen days, it had been this way. You would look for Remus in every corner, and your heart would chirp like a bird when you would find him. You would start agitating him so maybe he would react, and wouldn’t back down when he would annoy you first.

Even now, you couldn’t help but steal secret peeks at him. Sharp jawline and unblemished face despite the scars were completed with downy hair and hazel eyes.

He was stunning and you were attracted to him. Your five-years-ago self would roll her eyes at you if she was to see you. You were attracted to him despite his annoyance with you, and your pride hated you for that.

You were sure if Remus knew your newly emerging feeling for him, he would mock you to the point you cried.

You turned your head away from Remus when you heard heavy step voices. Peter was bringing a box full of fireworks, trying to be as discreet as possible in the meantime. You stepped up and helped him. He nodded at you before entering the Great Hall like a starved boy whose only intention was to have dinner.

You pulled Remus’s sleeve and he turned to you. You heard him mumble ‘right’ under his breath before taking out his wand. You repeated the same, waiting for him to sort out the fireworks.

“We’ll do it at the same time, remember. Or James won’t be able to Accio all of them at once.”

You nodded, aiming your wand all while alerting your senses to Remus’s voice. Between all the noise from the Great Hall, he had to raise his tone from whispers.

“One. Two. Three.”

Both of you cast the spell. You made sure to bend your wrist this time. Two of the fireworks lit up and attracted other fireworks to themselves. Remus sent James the signal.

Seconds passed, but the fireworks weren’t Accio’d anywhere.

You waited a bit more, glancing at Remus to see him do the same with a frown.

Another few seconds passed.

Nothing.

It was getting dangerous. You couldn’t be near them. They were about to blow up.

You squirmed close to the wall, adrenalin filling up your veins and piercing your heart. Remus was sending the signal over and over again but to no avail.

You wanted to run but your legs were glued to the ground, not even managing to help your standing let alone running. You winced as the firework got close to blowing by a second.

One more second and it was going to explode right in your faces.

One.

You felt Remus’s body on yours, pushing you hard to the wall, almost squeezing you with his torso. His arms held your sides as you leaned into him, clenching your eyes shut.

You waited for the big hit.

But it never came.

Remus raised his head from yours, checking around.

Fireworks weren’t there.

Just when you moved to get away from Remus’s hold, blaring cracks emerged in the air. You let out a scream, thinking it came from near you. Remus squeezed your arms, snapping his head to you.

“Bloody hell, Y/N, my ears just bled.”

You looked around frantically, still standing between Remus and the wall. Your eyes averted back to Remus when you saw the real firework art was going on in the Great Hall. The fireworks were forming letters.

Chatters had turned into cheers, screams of excitement and joy echoing in your ears. You felt the colours of the fireworks on the walls, halls, your clothes and Remus’s body.

Remus’s body, which was too close to yours.

“Sorry,” you uttered, gazing into the depth of his brown.

“You alright?” he asked low, not letting you out of his grasp.

“Yeah, yeah,” you nodded. “You?”

“I’m alright.”

“Good.”

“Good,” he drawled, repeating to you.

His hands around your biceps were now burning up your skin. He was supposed to let you go now. Let you go and put a distance between your bodies.

Your heart cried at the thought of space. You begged and hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t loosen his grip.

You started counting seconds. He didn’t let go.

His stare at you darkened, breathing getting heavier by the second.

Your eyes lowered to his lips. They looked both soft and chapped. He parted his lips.

You looked back into his eyes. They were piercing through you, welcoming thoughts in your head that you so desperately shunned. You felt his touch on your skin tighten.

You yearned for his touch not only on your arm but every inch of your body.

You reminded yourself that he was annoyed by you.

You didn’t blink. You didn’t inhale. You didn’t exhale.

You put your hands on his face and crashed your lips onto his.

The butterflies inside you resonated with the fireworks inside the Great Hall. Your heart quivered at the feeling of his lips on yours. Your chest flamed up in lust, your body smiled when you felt Remus’s hands wander to your back.

He kissed you back, welcoming the passion to run free in your veins.

You arched your back just to have him closer. You felt his slips stretch into a smirk, his fingers digging into your skin.

You kissed him harder.

His heavy breaths mingled with yours, hovering over your face. Your whole body shivered under his silky lips, sheltering the heat of your chest under his touch. His hands covered every inch of your body, learning it by heart. The heft of your lust drowned under the intensity of his manoeuvres.

Your heads were up in the clouds, unaware of anything going down around you.

You forgot where you were. You forgot what you were doing. You forgot why you were doing what you were doing. The dark in your eyes leaked shadows in your mind, blackening every thought.

That is until three boys intervened.

You pushed Remus away, putting the distance you so despised between you two. You pushed your lips together in an attempt to hide their red and swollen state. You ignored the cry of your lips, body, heart and soul for Remus’s caress.

“WE DID IT! WE’RE GOING TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS WITH A BALL!”

You grinned at James and let the boys have their celebration. You didn’t cast a glance at Remus. You didn’t see him not taking his eyes off of yours for even a second.

It was Friday. The last Transfiguration class before the well-deserved ball.

You were seated behind your desk, definitely not waiting for Remus.

You two hadn’t talked about the kiss since it happened. Hell, you hadn’t even talked to each other properly.

You might be ignoring him a little bit.

You were leaving the room when he was entering, going to sleep when he was approaching you, and being busy when he was trying to talk to you.

You might be ignoring him not so little bit.

Your leg was bouncing up and down, and you were fighting with your urge to not check the door every ten seconds. You hadn't quite figured out how you were feeling, but you knew it was something intense that your hands were freezing not because of the winter but because of the nervousness.

The same nervousness that made your mouth run dry when you saw Remus enter the classroom. The same nervousness that made you breathe quicker and feel dizzy when you felt Remus sit down next to you. The same nervousness that turned yanked the colours out of your face when you heard him talk.

“Will you run again if I open my mouth?”

“You just did,” you say, trying to sound as casual as you could. You weren’t facing him just the way he wasn’t facing you.

“And you didn’t run.”

“I didn’t.”

“Good,” he nodded. “You’ve been ignoring me.”

“No?”

His head snapped at you, forcing you to turn to him as well.

“Don’t mock me, Y/N,” he warned, irritated.

“I’m not mocking you, Remus. I’m just–”

“What did I do wrong?” he cut you off. “Tell me.”

Your heart skipped a bit at his question, clenching around a pain that you wished to ignore.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I don’t understand,” he frowned. “ You kissed me. So, I’m guessing you wanted it.”

You didn’t reply, too busy reliving the whimsical moment that had been keeping you awake at night, attacking your heart with butterflies.

“You did want it, right?”

“Yes,” you snapped back to the moment. “Yes, I did.”

“Then tell me what I did wrong and maybe I can rectify it,” he said. “Tell me what I did that you’re ignoring me.”

You didn’t know what to tell him.

You couldn’t tell him that you were running from him because you were too embarrassed to look him in the eye and admit that you were attracted to him. You couldn’t tell him that you were still figuring out what you were feeling, too afraid to get your heart broken.

You couldn’t tell him that despite your fears and doubts, you were still yearning for the sound of his laugh and craving the touch of his skin on your skin. You couldn’t tell him that there wasn't a moment in which your mind could offer you any other thought than him.

So you told him the first thing that came to your mind.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

Remus looked appalled, eyebrows furrowing.

“What?”

“It was a mistake.”

“A mistake?”

“Yes.”

He laughed bitterly, shaking his head.

“We both know it wasn’t a mistake. Stop lying to yourself.”

“I-I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to–”

“I’m not asking you to marry me.”

“I know!” you said, losing your temper for a second. “I know, Remus. I’m just not sure about...well, everything.”

You watched him inhale deeply, contemplating something in his mind. You wished to know what was going on in his head but didn’t ask.

“We can, uh,” he started, “We can try to be friends.”

“Friends?”

“Yeah, until we figure out whatever this is.”

You stared into his eyes, they weren’t pleased. Like they were keeping something back. You didn’t know how to ask him that, so you didn’t

“Friends,” you repeated as if testing the word. “I guess it can work.”

Remus nodded and stretched out his hand to you. You stared at his hand for a moment, recalling the way they caressed your skin a few days ago. You ached for that feeling.

“Anytime before I graduate would be nice,” he said.

You muttered a quick ‘sorry’ before shaking his hand.

Geoffrey Fawley had asked you to be his date for the ball.

He was a nice boy from what you had heard from James. He was in the Quidditch team with James and was a good chaser. Of course, you hadn’t mentioned either James or Sirius about your date. You wanted them to be surprised so you could mock them later on.

You hadn’t mentioned Remus about it, either. Why should you? Right?

It was only two days since you had agreed to be friends and in those two days you barely even talked, mainly because you were too busy choosing a dress for the ball.

To your delight, you had found the perfect one.

Checking your attire with one last glance, you turned your heels and walked out of the dorm room straight to the hall.

Geoffrey was waiting for you with a smile; he was an undeniably charming boy, you had to admit. Blonde hair sparkling above the green eyes with a graceful frame, he could steal any girl's heart.

Except that yours was already stolen by a pair of brown eyes.

You pushed Remus's visage deep in your mind, refusing to revive your disappointment when he didn't ask you out to the ball as his date.

You let Geoffrey take your hand and curtly lead you from the door to the ball.

"You look absolutely gorgeous."

"Thank you," you smiled.

As you two occupied yourself with small talk, you didn’t notice James and Sirius making their way to you. You had learned that Geoffrey has two elder sisters, he doesn’t like chocolate and he unsurprisingly loves Quidditch. He was kind, sensible, and a great listener.

He was everything and nothing you ever wanted. He wasn’t Remus.

“Fawley! Y/N is your date?!” James called, smiling from ear to ear as he approached you.

“Yes, Potter. Apparently, she deemed me worthy of standing by her side tonight,” Geoffrey joked back, smiling at you gently.

“Ah, yes, fancy words,” Sirius dropped his arm around your shoulders. “Have you kissed yet? Her lipstick looks intact.”

“Sirius!” you hit him in the torso.

“I’ll take this as a no and head out to Remus,” Sirius said, “He’s been a moody bitch these days.”

“Where’s he?” you asked, forcing your tone to the casual.

James turned back, pointing at someone with his hand.

“There. The one with the sour face and brown hair.”

He had leaned against a wall, looking around with a frown. He was captivating in a black suit, his hair falling into all the right places and creating an art-like view. You enjoyed the view a few moments more, memorising every little detail about his figure. You wished he could be a bit closer to you.

“He doesn’t look like he enjoys himself. Should we invite him?” Geoffrey asked.

“I don’t think that’s necessary. He looks comfortable–”

“Nonsense, Y/N,” Sirius cut in. “Oi! Moony! Come here!”

You squeezed your lips together as Remus reached you. He was without a date.

Would it be malicious if you felt relieved by that?

“You guys have fun. Lily is waiting for me,” James said before leaving you four together.

“He is with Lily?” you asked Sirius, both surprised and happy.

“Geoffrey must have really swept you off your feet,” Remus drawled, staring into your eyes.

You felt uncomfortable. Not because of Remus’s words but because of Geoffrey’s presence. You smiled at Remus awkwardly, knowing you had Geoffrey’s eyes on you.

“You don’t have a date, Remus?”

“No,” he said to you. You felt cold at his tone.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll find someone here.”

“I don’t want to find someone.”

You felt Geoffrey grab your hand.

“Would you like to dance?”

You smiled and nodded at him, letting him carry you to the dance floor.

He put his hand on your waist as you placed your hand on his shoulder. He intertwined your other hands together and started moving with the rhythm.

You glanced at his eyes only for a moment before dragging them to every corner of the room. They landed on Remus.

His eyes cut through your chest like a dagger, reminding you of every feeling your skin, heart and soul had felt two days ago.

You hated that you felt nothing if it wasn’t Remus touching you. You hated that you felt nothing if it wasn’t Remus smiling at you. You hated that you felt nothing if it wasn’t Remus’s words that were whispered in your ear.

“You seem distracted.”

“Oh,” you locked eyes with Geoffrey again, smiling. “Forgive me.”

“It’s Lupin, isn’t it?”

“Excuse me?”

“You have been acting weird since he stopped by.”

Your smile ebbed as guilt prickled inside of your chest. Geoffrey chuckled at your fortified expression.

“It’s alright, you know. I knew you had no feelings for me when I asked you. I just didn’t think you may have feelings for another.”

You lowered your head to his chest. There was no point in denying it.

“I’m so sorry Geoffrey, truly. I didn’t mean to disrespect you–”

“You haven’t”

“Or offend you.”

“You haven’t either,” he shook his head in a warm smile.

“I shouldn’t have said yes,” you mumbled before looking up at him.

“I’m glad that you did. I wouldn’t be able to move on if I didn’t hear you reject me.”

You admired his genuinity, and his pleasant smile and his gentle manner.

You adored his kindness and good heart. He was the kind of boy that would never annoy you, bicker with you or hurt your feelings.

But he wasn’t the kind of a boy that would make your heart race in excitement, passion and desire.

He wasn’t Remus.

When the dance ended, you couldn’t find Remus.

“Go,” Geoffrey said, “I’ll be alright. It’s obvious that you two need to talk.”

You thanked him before placing a short peck on the cheek. Then, you dashed to Sirius, who was too busy getting drunk.

“Padfoot, where’s Remus?” you yelled, attempting to drown the music.

“Where’s who?”

“Remus! Where’s Remus?!”

“I’m here,” you startled at his voice behind you.

You parted your lips to speak to him but he acted faster.

“Come with me,” he said, holding your hand and dragging you away from the people.

He led you to another room and closed the door after him.

“A bit quiet.”

You nodded, feeling the blood in your veins rush. It had only been a second since you were alone with him and your feelings were already messed up.

An awkward silence filled the room.

“Remus, I don’t want to–”

“You didn’t tell me you–”

You sighed, hoping that he would talk first. And he did.

“You didn’t tell me you had a date.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

“I didn’t know I had to.”

“I thought we were…friends,” his teasing tone daunted your nerves. You forgot what you were searching Remus for.

“We’re not that close friends.”

“You seemed pretty close with Geoffrey.”

Pride clawed at your insides, taking an internal scream from you. It didn’t hurt, you felt powerful.

“Jealous much?” you managed to hide the smirk but you didn’t hide the smug tone. You saw Remus clench his jaw and clear his throat before talking.

“What if I am?”

“Then I’d ask you the reason,” you said. Your smug tone changed into something different, something desirous.

“Don’t tire yourself, love. I’m not jealous.”

“Nice,” you smiled, stepping forward. “Then you wouldn’t mind if I returned to my date.”

Remus filled the void between you and the door with his body, not letting you go through. You peeked at his lips momentarily.

“We’re not done talking.”

You hoped you could cover your jitters with cheekiness because your heart was racing, your mouth was dry and your hands were trembling with anticipation. You didn’t even want to mention the surges of fire and flood inside you exhausting each other.

“Oh, isn’t this new? You finally want to talk to me after years of vexation.”

“That’s what friends do, right?” he shrugged.

The way that ‘friend’ word agitated you was ridiculous.

“I’m all ears,” you told him, still not backing away from him, holding onto the distance that could easily be conquered with one step.

You were finally close enough to him to easily feel him under your touch. You could see the beauty marks, freckles and scars vividly. You wouldn’t even need to get closer to caress them. You only needed to raise your hand and–

“I fancy you.”

Your eyes shot up from his lips to his eyes, widening in bemusement. You chose not to let your ears deceive you, not to let the words plant hope in you, not to let butterflies escape their cage.

“What?”

“You heard me,” he frowned. “I’ve been fancying you since you were a little girl and I was a little boy.”

“You hated me when you were a little boy and I was a little girl.”

You shook your head. He did the same.

“No, I didn’t. Annoying you was the only way to get you to talk to me, so I clung to it for years.”

You felt the heft weighing you down drag you onto the surface, letting you finally breathe. You felt the fireworks inside you, or maybe that was just butterflies. Your heart chirped in its cage, ready for you to set it free.

“I fancy you, too.”

You set your heart free from its cage. You let him fly away, welcoming the warmth that the boy before you had to offer.

Remus straightened and closed the distance between you two.

“You do?”

“Yes,” you whispered. “I do.”

You closed your eyes, giving into the night when you felt Remus’s hand on your cheek. You drew a breath in when you felt his other hand on your waist. You parted your lips when you felt his hot breath on your lips.

Anticipation climbed its way from your stomach all the way to your heart, shaking your breath. One more inch closer and you would die in his lips, one more second later and you would break down under his touch, one more breath in and you would crumble into pieces by his kiss.

“Would you like to see how I ruin a friendship in a second?”

“Yes,” you pleaded.

He closed the one last inch, spent the one last second and inhaled the one last breath.

He kissed your lips.

You died in his lips, broke down under his touch and crumbled into pieces by his kiss.

His lips, so soft and silky, intoxicated your mind. His touch, so gentle yet so firm, ignited your skin. His skin under your hands, so warm and flawless, blazed your fingertips.

You melted under him, ready to die in his arms.

He kissed your lips until they were red and swollen. He kissed you until you were breathless and dizzy. He touched you until he sent shivers down your spine.

When you pulled away, his eyes dark and in trance were still on your lips, his lips placing pecks on all over your face.

You smiled into his lips, letting him embrace you.

“James owes Sirius ten sickles.”

“What?” you laughed, taking in his scent.

“Two years ago they had a bet on us,” he said, and you loved the way ‘us’ echoed between his lips. “Sirius said sooner or later we would get together."

“We just made Sirius ten sickles richer.”

I love that I can write Remus both as a kind, gentle, sweet boy and as a mysterious, complicated but hot boy. It just makes sense in both ways.

Anyways, if you've read this far, thank you so much for your time. And thank you to the person that sent the request.

Please let me know what you think!

and if you loved this fic or my writing, buy me a coffee <33

#remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #remus lupin #remus x you #the maruaders #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin smut #remus lupin supremacy #remus lupin scenario #harry potter #andrew garfield #taylor swift

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ssparksflyy · 4 months

Text

dating jason grace hcs! (ᴗ͈ ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

pairing jason grace x child of hermes!reader summary based off this request !! an lin manuel as hermes no matter how much i pretend to hate youre iconic and i actually love you

"okokokok" and "lalalala" who ???

people were so surprised when you started dating since youre literal opposites ?!?!

youre so chill and laid back and fun

jason straightens up so quick and salutes if somebody yells attention

but since he's met you, he's definitely relaxed a little more

he's learnt to accept the fact that he can actually relax at times and just enjoy himself ?!?!?!? (shocking, right)

and you were the one who taught him that !!

it honestly started when your first met

cause he was training by himself after lessons had finsihed

you were walking around with your siblings, just passing by and decided to ask him if he wanted to go to the fireworks show that was being held that night ♡

cause like youd seen him around camp before, always helping someone out with someone, and youd be lying if you said you didnt think he was cute 😋 (i sound like a nine year old omg bye)

so what better time to ask than now !

i could lie and say he was super chill about it but lets be honest he was already smitten before you could even finish the question

dropped his sword, face all red and everythinggg 😵‍💫

(you tease him about this now, but he just fights it with a corny "guess you stole my heart" that makes you cringe and roll your eyes yet still smile)

he tried to act all cool and say he'd think about it when in reality he was already getting ready to run to the aphrodite cabin and ask piper for help

i love tlh trio so much i just know jason would be panicking about the whole thing and piper's trying to reassure him + give genuine advice while leo is just messing around 😭

he did manage to get some tips and you ended spending the whole nights talking and laughing instead of actually watching the fireworks ♡♡

he walked you back to your cabin and by then you both established big ol' crushes on each other (aw ya cuties)

the amount of teasing you got from your cabin that night was actually crazy though

you were last to get in that night and entered to a whole chorus of 'oooooo's

a few thrown pillows and 'connor i swear to the gods i will push you off the lava wall-'s later and you were finally able to go to sleep though ♡

the teasing and jokes never stop

even when you (finally) started dating

its your cabin's love language honestly

your younger siblings are OBSESSED with jason

hes actually so good with kids bye

he just 'treats them the way he wished he was treated as a kid :(

his words not mine i dont talk like im giving an anti-bullying assembly

but like he loves playing with them

instant besties !

he even helped them prank you one time :o

he felt so devious doing it good lord

real i was a bad girl i did some bad things yaknow

literally all he did was distract you as your siblings taped a balloon full of water and got a dart pin ready to pop it when you walked into the door

but he was all giggly when the prank succeeded

only for like 5 seconds cause then he was helping you dry off and apologizing

you didnt minddddd, it was fun seeing him act like a "rebel"

okay call me crazy but like trackstar power couple

hermes kids are fast, known fact, evidence? tlt musical said so

and i feel like jupiter/zeus kids would be too!! like moving at the speed of lightning hyperbole... please tell me you see the vision

but like being able to use that as an excuse to get some time away from people... the scandal.

jason telling the group he's with (not necessarily close friends, he knows he can just tell them that he's going out with you) that he's going out for a run

youll be flushed when you return-

when really he's ditching them to go hang out with you

cause this man can NOT say no. he's a people pleaser man it's hardwired into our brains

and they'll think it's normal cause like jasons weird

why question the kid who likes musicals and history

do you see where this is going.

jason taking you to watch opening night of hamilton cause he's been bouncing off the walls for it and really wanted to show you so he'd have someone to talk to about it after :)

it started off fun!!

you were both really enjoying the beginning! well, the first minute and twenty seconds of it at least

cause after that you lost your shit :D

your dad was literally on stage, a few hundred feet away from you, acting as a founding father

the rest of the show you were internally freaking out, questioning everything

jason had no clue, not until you told him during intermission

had the AUDACITY to say "...and thats how you were born" after the traumatizing experience of say no to this

after the show you chased you dad down on the street as he was trying to get 'home'

jason was lowkey giggling the whole time like he was not taking this serious at alllll

but hey he got to meet your dad !!

hermes likes jason, thinks he's a very distinguished gentleman

jason likes hermes, thinks he's pretty good at rapping

at least one of you gained something from that experience

not proofread !

#these are short but i desperately needed to get something out !!#percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #jason grace #jason grace x reader #jason grace x you #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #by bells ♡⋆ ࣪.

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marnikula · 5 months

Note

Can u do early seasons spencer x reader who has a lot of problems and they let people walk all over them and they dont set boundaries and they struggle with their emotions. Reader likes spencer a lot but doesn't seek him out bc they feel like he deserves better! And u can decide what happens but make it happy ending :)

Oh my word, I literally spent like 2 hours writing this because I wrote something and then my internet cut out when I posted and now it's lost, so I had to rewrite it. Hope you enjoy!

Cw: gn reader, people dumping work on reader, Spencer being cute

Enjoy!

You were a doormat. You knew it, your friends knew it, everyone knew it. You tried to set boundaries, to say no, but it never seemed to stick. Saying no made you feel guilty, it made you feel like a bad person even though you knew you weren't.

Being a doormat, people tended to walk all over you, requesting ridiculous things of you. That is how it came to be that you were sitting alone in the bullpen, the clock ticking away, showing you that it was around midnight and you still had a whole stack of papers to go through. You felt yourself about to fall asleep, and truly, you were too tired to fight it off when a ding signaled the arrival of someone.

Without even turning to look who it was you knew it was Spencer Reid. You recognized his footsteps, and even if you didn't, the smell he brought with him would have alerted you. It was the smell of coffee mixed sweet undertones, almost as if he had spent his whole day in a café. It was intoxicating. "What are you still doing here?" "Working, I have a lot of stuff to finish before tomorrow" "you mean today" looking back at the clock you could see he was right, it was now officially the next day.

"Do you need some help?" without even waiting for you to decline Spencer took half of the pile you were working on. He moved fast, knowing you well enough to know that you hated asking for help, especially from him, he just could never figure out why.

"Spencer, you really don't need to, I've got this" reaching your hands to take the files back only to be swatted away by the doctor was something you did not expect. "I'm not saying you don't have it, I'm just going to help you so you can go home earlier"

Sighing you admitted defeat and went to go make coffee for the two of you. With Spencer's help you managed to make it through the massive stack of papers on your desk in less that an hour, something you would never have been able to do on your own.

"You, doctor Spencer Reid, are amazing, what can I do to thank you?" it was a slight tease on your part. You didn't expect him to ask you anything return, it wasn't like him, he was too nice . That was one of the things you loved about him, and one of the reasons you willed the crush growing in your heart to shrivel up and die. He deserved so much better than you. Someone with a mind as amazing as his own, someone with kindness rivaling his and someone who knew how to say no. You were none of those. At least not in your own eyes.

"You could go on a date with me" Spencer surprised himself with those words, he really hadn't meant to say them out loud, but he really liked you, and in a moment of confidence inspired by sleep deprevation, he decided to take a chance.

"Really? You mean it?" the both of you were blushing hard at this point, him thinking about how he could have possibly screwed this up and you thinking about how this could possibly get any better.

"I-I mean, only if you want to, you really don't have to feel pressured, I know I said I would take it as paiment, but honestly spending time with you was enough of a payme-" grabbing his face in your hands you turned him to look at you, shutting off his ramblings with the movement and shutting off his brain with your words

"I would love to"

#dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #doctor spencer reid #bau #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff

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sardonic-the-writer · 7 months

Text

𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐨𝐜 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐄𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ warnings: fighting, brief mentions of injuries & alcohol. murdoc is a warning in himself to be frank

↳ song: rock the house—gorillaz

↳ notes: headcanons about murdoc & you. made to be platonic/a self insert type fic, but could be romantic too. this overall just stemmed from my infatuation and hatred for his green ass

nasterlist | commissions | carrd

• Murdoc is so self-absorbed. It's honestly beyond you how he hasn't floated away into the sun with how inflated his ego's gotten

• It doesn't help that he's regarded as the sole reason for bringing together one of the best bands ever recorded—something that he holds over the entire bands head when he feels like being an asshole

• With that giant persona of his inevitably there comes jealousy. The musician gets unreasonably grumpy if someone, especially you, is ever more excited to see a collaborator over for a recording session instead of him of all people

• "You were just gawking at 'em the entire time like an idiot! Wha', never seen a bloody live recording before?" Murdocs accent clipped his words as his gravely voice spit fire at you one afternoon. You just laughed at his annoyance, not even bothered by his attitude after years of putting up with it

• "Murdoc, it's De La Soul. Of course I'm going to be excited. It's ten times better than waking up to you rummaging around in the fridge with nothing but a thong on."

• "Get fucked you little twat." He barked, stomping off and ending the little spat. You didn't see him the rest of the day, no doubt off brooding in his Winnebago. It didn't bother you. More quiet time to hang out with Noodle for you!

• More than often, the two of you have been recorded in separate interviews talking about the other. Mostly just talking shit

• "So, what's this we've all been hearing about a certain bassist getting in a car accident?" A random reporter asked you one day from over their horn rimmed glasses. 2D, who was currently the only other person besides you that had been able to make it to the questioning, scratched his head absent-mindedly as you cackled in glee

• "Yeah yeah. I ran over Muds with my car one day. Just knocked his sorry ass right over. Pow! He recovered fine, dont worry, but the moment he did, I had to run for my life." You managed to get out through laughter. "Still have no idea how those fucking tabloids got ahold of that story."

• "Wasn't it an accident f'ough? I remember you sayin that." 2D tilted his head with a slight lisp

• You just grinned toothily and said nothing

• "It. It was an accident. Right?" He asked again, this time with more nerves

• The interview was cut off shortly after that

• On the topic of cars, Murdoc's own set of wheels was probably his only pride an joy apart from his bass. And ironically, the van was the bane of the rest of the bands existence

• The amount of times you had to bang on the Winnebago's dented door to tell him to shut up— the smell of cigarettes, sex, and too many air fresheners leaking from the cracks —should be a crime

• And each time without fail, you were always met with a shirtless Murdoc; either inviting you in for his version of a night of fun or just plain flipping you off

• You always found the latter easier to deal with

• Russel has always been the medium for any serious fights you and Murdoc would have. You both fight a lot, sure, but normally over small things like who should run out to get more booze or tune up band equipment. It was only when things got really heated that the drummer would step in

• Nine times out of ten, that just meant he'd pick you up with one arm and place you in a separate room until the two of you could stand to be around each other. It was always you he did that to, too, since the one time he'd tried that on Murdoc, Russel narrowly avoided a black eye and a week's docked pay

• It really was easy to forget that technically Murdoc is your boss. With how much shit he gives out, and vise versa from all of you, it really just felt like he was an annoying roommate. An annoying, rich, and vibrant green roomate

• At the end of the day, though, none of you really hated him. Well, the jury was still out on 2D, but you had a feeling the past few years the singer had been trying to pick himself back up

• Murdoc, however much of a prick he is, is still a key part in the band. Without him, some of the best song you'd all produced would have never happened, and some of your best drinking memories would have never happened. Hell, he even did a pretty good job raising Noodle. With plenty of help from everyone else, of course

• So no matter how many inanimate objects you all chucked at each other's head, at the end of the day you'd never trade him for another bass player

• "You lot getting soft on me now?" He grinned sharply at you, licking the outside of his teeth as you pretended to vomit at the mere thought of being nice to him

• "I'd rather die and be reincarnated as a cockroach." You grimaced dramatically. But the both of you were smiling at each other, breaking up the conversation with playful punches

#gorillaz #gorillaz x reader #gorillaz x you #gorillaz x y/n #murdoc niccals #murdoc x reader #murdoc x you #murdoc x y/n #2d gorillaz #noodle #russel hobbs #x reader #headcanons

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romana-after-dark · 1 year

Text

Keep Cry'n

Joel Miller x reader

Join dark!Romana's tag list Dark!Romana's Masterlist

Shout out to the girlies in the Whorefully yours discord for encouraging my dark side lol

Summary: Joel kidnapps you, but can't even wait long eough to put his dick inside you to cum. (Reader is rather Little One coded but this is a completetly separate fic from The Wrong Way)

Warnings and Content: NON CON, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT !!!!!! Hair pulling, kidnapping, masturbation, cumming on face, dirty and degrading talk, crying, dacryphilia, Joel is really psycho in this, maybe a lil off his rocker. Implied future abuse. Literally like so much crying.

DONT LIKE IT, DONT READ! If you do not wish to see rape on your feeds at all, i suggest blocking the tags such as non con, dddne, dead dove do not eat, and depending on preferences maybe dub con, yandere, or dark fics. No judgement if its not your thing!

*****************

Your head hurts. So bad. That was all you could think about as Joel dragged you off his house and up the porch by your hair with no regard for how you were supposed to keep up with his long stride. Scalp on fire, you scramble to stand but it seemed he would purposefully yank at you just to make you stumble.

You can hear him smiling as he speaks, the outline of his cheeks giving away the wide grin if you can look up long enough to catch a glimpse. “Pretty fucking girl. Gonna make such a nice little toy.”

He doesn’t care that you're crying. He doesn’t care that he took you away from everything you know. He doesn’t care that you are scared. He wants to use you.

Your hands are tied behind your back so you fall on your face when he trusts you onto the shitty mattress, dirt being inhaled into your lungs.

“Just gotta be good for a few days, pretty baby, ‘till I get tired of you and move onto the next shiny thing. Think you can manage that?”

Sobbing, you nod. You can do this. You can…

Your confidence wavers as he stands above you, palming himself and moaning. “Oooohhh fuck, such a pretty little baby, uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhuhuhuuuh” Joel sucks his breath in through his teeth, then shutters it out. “Get the fuck over here.” Joel reaches over and yanks on your hair again, pressing your face up against his jeans-clothes crotch. His musk was strong, the smell of his dick was sweaty and masculine and you could not help but feel just a little turned on. You couldn’t help it; it was biological, primal, evolutionary.

With your hands still tied behind your back, you were helpless to the way Joel ground your face up against himself, his hard cock prominent despite the stiff material. Fingers entangled in your hair, Joel trust his hips up in your face as you sob, “Fuck baby, keep cry’n, I can feel your tears on my dick.” Joel pressed you tightly up against his crotch, your mouth pressed over the outline of his member and muffled your cries as they turned into attempts to scream. You wanted to bite but you knew better.

When he finally let go, allowing you to sit back on your haunches and breath, Joel unzipped his pants and thrust them and his tighty whitey’s down in one go, his massive cock hanging heavy between his legs. A sick man, Joel gripped your face in his large, rough hands to gather up the wetness before he fucked his fist.

“God, I need to cum right fuck’n now” He grumbled to himself as he furiously pumped the extensive length. “Ain’t got time to- oh fu-u-u-ck, ain’t got time to fight your pants off.” Joel lets out a loud groan, bucking his hips as his breath shutters before looking down at your crying and shaking figure. “Oh fuck, you look so scared!” He has the audacity to chuckle, smiling at you as he gently nudges you with his boot just to see you cry more. He jerked harder and harder, his cock red and throbbing inches from your face. “There we go, fuuuuuck! Uh, uh, uuuhhhggg” Ropes of white began to spurt out of him, Joel grunting aggressively mixed with huffed out chuckles, a wide, joker-like grin on his face as his eyes sparkled with mischievous possibilities for the future.

Joel took his softening dick and wiped your tears and his cum with it. “Pretty little thing… goddamn… make’n me cum without even touching me, fucking fantastic.”

You feel the wetness on your face, a mixture of fluids painting you up like a picture.

Joel pushed you down onto the bed, not even bothering to pull up his pants as he pulled you on his naked body, sighing. He takes a knife out of his pocket, however, and cuts off your ties. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around him as you cry. You just wanted to be held, to feel touch and comfort and you didn’t care who it came from. “Oh god, princess…” He’s panting still, a crazy grin plastered upon his face as he stared up at the ceiling, laughing to himself. “Such pretty skin, such a pretty face…” Joel chuckled, long fingers massaging down your still-clothed body.

“Gonna be a lot of fun playing with it.”

*******************

First dark! joel one shot ina while, woozers.

Love me my crazy man.

Got a cool ask today for a dark triple frontier Will Miller that I loooooove that I will be working on after a few other WIPS.

Also got an idea for a dark!joel sugar daddy yandere vibes fic, a dark!William Tell, and a dark!Nathan Bateman. I also plan to work on a short series (3 parts maybe?) of a darker ending to tww where Joel wins.

If you like this, click the link at the top to be added to my ongoing tag list!

@fandxmslxt69 @moriartyyouwhore @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

@hereforthepedrofanfic @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and maybe @toxicanonymity might enjoy.....

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leonsfiancee · 11 months

Text

a break. - leon s. kennedy.

Leon is a very determined agent. He successfully handles all of his missions, though it’s hard, he still manages to complete them without mistakes. While on a mission, you realize how hard he works and you offer to relax him for a bit..

leon kennedy x female reader

•••

“You know, it’s a good time to take a break.” You said to him. He shook his head slightly, his blue eyes focused on the gun in his hand as he sat in the chair. You sighed, leaning against the table. You could see his hair covering his forehead, making you want to gently brush it off.

You could remember the first time you met him. He looked so young and innocent, but now he seemed a little more tired, determined. It pained to see him so stressed, you wanted to relieve him, even if it was for a moment.

You watched him as he continued to reload the gun, not saying a word. His lips were curved into a frown, and his eyes looked so tired. You walked closer to him, gently touching his shoulder.

He quickly snapped his head towards you, looking up. You gave him a smile, his eyes staring at you in shock. He looked down and then back at you, his mouth ajar. “We should keep going. We can rest once we finish the mission. It's important that we stay focused. We can't afford to waste any more time."

You looked at him, not wanting to let go of him. You could see the exhaustion in his eyes, it hurt your heart to see him this way. You took a step closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

You leaned in close to him, your chest pressed against his. You felt his arms wrap around your waist, holding you in place. You could feel his heartbeat speed up, his body tense. “No, no, no, we shouldn't... Not right now." He tried to protest, his voice hoarse.

"I think that's exactly what we should do, Leon." You whispered in his ear, your fingers gently stroking his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. It felt good, and his body needed it but his mind kept screaming at him, telling him that this wasn't the right thing to do. He couldn't just stop working, even for a moment.

He was too busy. His life wasn't meant for him to relax. He was always fighting and risking his life, doing what needed to be done. That's what his job was about. He couldn't allow himself to enjoy things. He couldn't afford to be distracted.

His thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of your soft lips on his cheek. He could feel his face heat up, his breathing getting heavy. You were so close to him. Your body pressed against his. He could feel your warm breath on his skin, making him shiver.

He opened his eyes, looking into yours. Your gaze was soft and caring. You graze your thumb against his cheek, smiling.

"Please, Leon. Let me make you feel better." You pleaded with him, your hand cupping his chin.

"I..." He started, his voice shaky. You slowly go down, sitting on his lap. He gulps, his body tensing.

"Just a little break. That's all." You cooed, brushing your nose against his. He feels you tugging at his pants, pulling them down.

He gasps, grabbing your hands, stopping you. "No, no. D-dont..." He says, his voice low.

"Come on, Leon. It's just a break." You insist, leaning in closer to him. You take out his member, slowly stroking him.

"We shouldn't... I can't..." He whispers, “fuckk.. please.."

You smile, leaning in closer to his face, kissing him softly. He lets out a soft moan, his hands resting on your hips.

You continue stroking him, his breath becoming heavy. "We'll only have a few minutes." You tell him, moving your hand faster. He groans, his hips bucking forward.

"Oh god." He moans, his hands tightening around your hips. You feel his grip getting tighter, his cock twitching in your hand. "Please..." He whispers, his body trembling.

"You want me to stop?" You ask, your hand moving faster.

"N-no." He breathes out, his head falling back. "Oh god, please don't stop..I-I don’t care anymore, j-just don't stop."

You smile, leaning forward, kissing his neck. You slowly move up, sucking on his earlobe. He moans, his head resting against the back of the chair. You come back down and kiss his tip, “Mm, Leon.."

You suck his tip, swirling your tongue around it. He moans loudly, his hips bucking forward. His eyes roll to the back of his head, his body trembling.

You move down, taking him completely into your mouth. He lets out a loud groan, his body shaking. You feel his hands squeezing your hips, his nails digging into your skin.

"O-oh my god..." He groans, his whole body trembling.

You bob your head up and down, swirling your tongue around his tip. He lets out a long, loud moan, his hands gripping your hair tightly.

"O-oh... fuck!" He cries, his hips thrusting up, his cum spilling into your mouth. You swallow, licking your lips.

"Mmm..." You hum, moving your head up and down, slowly milking him. He was too sensitive, his body twitching and trembling.

"O-o-..oh..fuck..n-no..n-n-no more.." He moans, his hands leaving your hair and grabbing your shoulders.

"Are you sure? It seemed like you really liked it." You tease, smirking.

"No, no..don't.." He breathes out, his body shaking.

You pull away, looking up at him. “Okay..." You say, smirking.

"O-oh.." He whimpers, his body relaxing. You quickly pull his pants up for him, smiling. His eyes were closed, in that moment, he wanted to stay in it forever.

You stood up, fixing yourself and looked down at him. He was completely exhausted, his eyes closed, his breathing heavy.

"How do you feel now?" You ask, smirking.

He lets out a shaky sigh, "I feel amazing."

You lean down, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "Good. Now, let's get back to work."

Leon nodded, his cheeks turning pink. “R-right..yeah.” He sighed, still trying to collect himself.

"I told you that you would feel better after." You chuckled.

"Y-yeah..thanks." He says, his cheeks burning red.

~~~~

a/n: idk 😭

#leon scott kennedy #re4 #leon kennedy #fanfic #fanfiction #re4 leon #leon kennedy fanfic #leonkennedy #leon s kennedy #leonscottkennedy #smut #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #maturecontent

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norizz-nation · 1 year

Text

I’m better right? ❤️

Summary: So p1 in Monaco for Daniel was legit everything. But somehow reporters gotta ruin that by comparing him with the “new generation’s star max verstappen” so he brings u to ur shared hotel room to ask u if he’s better or not.

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, daddy kink, choking, light bdsm, blindfolds, handcuffs

You were there with Daniel in Monaco. Rooting for him to ur fullest. And the fact that he won was everything u ever wanted. U were so happy for him. Everything was going amazing. Until the bullshit interviews after race. Asking him stuff like “although u won, max is still improving and is probably better than u. how do u feel about that?”

Questions like that really pissed him off. And u could see that. After the whole evening being with this “max is better than daniel” interviews, he was just pissed. So u went to him and said “forget about them. u were amazing, u dont have to listen to them. i love you.” Daniel look a bit relaxed after u comforted him. “you’re better in every way” u whispered lightly with a smirk tht made Daniel raise his eyebrows. “Oh yeah baby?” “Of course daddy” u could see by the look on his face that those words drove him crazy.

Heading back to ur shared hotel room, daniel told u to sit on the edge of the bed while he went to his luggage and got some stuff out. Whn he came close to u, u noticed that he was holding a blindfold and a pair of handcuffs. Seeing them u looked up at him with doe eyes excited to know whats gonna happen next. “Be a good girl tonight, okay?” U just nodded. U were genuinely wet just by the thought about everything thats gonna happen. He then got u undressed and blindfolded u saying “im gonna show u that im better” u innocently asked “how?” “Oh baby just wait a bit. You’ll see.”

After he handcuffed u to the headboard, u just closed ur eyes and got comfortable. After a while u could feel daniels hands roam all over ur body. Caressing ur cheeks, then squeezing ur neck a little then going slowly down to ur stomach drawing circles. Making ur whole body get goosebumps. Ur started to squirm under him. “Daddy p-please” he then stopped “please what baby? tell me.” “Just touch me daddy, please. Dont tease me like that.” He started to rub ur thighs as he placed himself between ur legs. Licking you pussy lips saying “fuck you’re already that wet for me?” You could just nod. He began circling your pussy and flicking it every now & then. “Ah d-daddy im gonna cum. Please dont s-stop!” He then started pumping ur pussy with his two fingers while sucking ur pussy clean.

You were trying ur best to grab his curly hair and guide him well. After u’ve cum, he came closer to u and kissed ur neck, which was more of a wet kiss. “Stop fighting for it. You know u cant win baby.” He said as he saw u trying to touch him, ur hands were red at this point. You were basically crying for him. You wanted to touch him so bad. “What is it baby? Do u wanna say something?” “I want u to remove my blindfold and remove my handcuffs, i wanna touch u so bad daddy. Please” ur voice was low, and needy for more. He then kissed ur forehead and removed ur handcuffs.

You started to roam ur hands all over his body as if u haven’t touched him for a long while. U started to go more down to his hips. Palming his dick. “Please daddy, just fuck me!” U clearly whined as daniel smirked and kissed u.

He then positioned himself between ur legs as he rubbed his dick on ur clit, making u whine more. You thought that he was gonna be gentle first but he didn’t. He started with a fast pace that made u scream already. Practically making ur legs shake as he didnt stop his motion. Every single thrust was too much for u to handle. “O-oh daddy, you make me f-feel so good, nghh” he then grabbed ur hair and pulled u closer to him as u could feel his breathe in ur face. “Oh yeah? I make u feel good?” You barely managed to say “y-yes d-daddy u do”

He then placed one hand on ur neck choking u hard and the other one right where it was, on ur hair. Pulling it. It seemed like he just wanted to get his frustrations out at this point. All this bullshit reporters pissing him off so fucking much. You kept u eyes closed as ur whole body fell apart under him. “Baby, look at me, come on” you looked up at him with doe eyes. “Tell me im better. Tell me im better than max. Im better right?” You couldn’t say anything because the pleasure was just too much for u. But still u managed to say “of course you’re better daddy. you’re better than any other f1 grids here” “oh yeah?” “y-yes daddy”

His thrusts became sloppier as u felt a familiar euphoric feeling inside ur stomach. “Ahh daddy im sooo gonna cum” “me too baby, me too. cum for me baby, go on” your whole body started to shake uncontrollably as u came for the second time that night. Your body shivering and shaking. Then u immediately sucked his dick clean, leaving no cum there. “Oh look at u. Such a good girl for me” you looked up at him and kissed the tip of his dick while looking straight into his eyes making him groan by that sight.

He then held u close and cuddled with u. “Just dont think about them. You’re literally the most perfect man I’ve ever met daniel. I love you so much” your words made daniel so comforted as he kissed ur head and caressed ur arm. “I dont know how I managed to make u mine. I love you so much baby. I can’t afford to lose you, ever”

A/N: this idea was from one of the most amazing writer on tumblr @idkwhatimdoinghere163 , thank u so much for this idea. I hope I managed to reach ur expectations and you gotta give me some more ideas girl cuz those are amazing! ❤️

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daisyofwaterdeep · 1 month

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DAISY OF WATERDEEP SAVE ME DAISY OF WATERDEEP. i donr know if commissions are open hell i dont know if you even TAKE commissions but i am BEGGIBG YOU. WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND SOUL FOR A PART TWO OF THAT CAUGHT ROLAN FIC. you get rolan better than literally everonelse PLSSS. (but for real dont feel pressured if you dont wanna write this just wanna say how amazing ur writting is 🤩)

Read part 1 here!

'Caught?' Part 2

Rolan/femcis!Reader !NSFW!

__ You're not really sure what the entire game plan is here, but you know that you have one goal in mind: to rile Rolan up.

After the events of the previous day, you know that riling him up is easy. But getting him to act-- well, that seems like it's going to be a real challenge. One that you're not sure you'll be able to pull off, but damned if it's not going to be fun to try.

You take longer than usual getting ready for work. Hair, nails, makeup-- you primp and preen yourself to perfection before shimmying into one of your favorite date-night dresses. It's modest by some standards, but the low-cut neck and cinched waist do plenty to accentuate your assets, and you're sure it won't go unnoticed by a certain wizard.

You step into Sorcerous Sundries to start your shift, your plan in motion the instant Rolan's eyes fall on you.

"Good morning!" You wave at him from his place up the stairs.

You're grateful for the glow of his eyes, because it makes it all too easy to see them drag down the length of your body from this distance.

"Morning." He returns curtly before going back to fussing with an animated armor.

You frown at the back of his head, displeased with the lack of reaction. You'll have to try a little harder, it seems.

You saunter around the counter and ascend the stairs, lifting the length of your dress to the side so you don't trip.

"What are you doing?" You ask as you approach Rolan, his hands pulsing with a dim light as they roam over the armor's breast plate.

His eyes dart over to you for a moment, and you don't miss how they flick down to your cleavage for a split second before returning to his task.

"Some minor upgrades to security."

"Ooh, like what?" You close the distance between the two of you, standing at his side as he works.

The flowing movement of Rolan's arms become jerky and stiff as you lean forward, giving him a whiff of your perfume.

"I'm j-just--" Rolan clears his throat and ends the spell wordlessly, the glow wreathing his hands dissipating. "Can I help you with something?"

"Sorry," You say innocently, taking a step back and folding your hands behind your back, "Am I distracting you?"

Rolan turns his head to address you properly, and you swear that you can physically see him fighting the urge to look at your tits. And is it just a trick of the light, or do his cheeks look a deeper red right now?

"Yes, a bit." Rolan's words are as tight as his expression.

"Sorry," you say again, "I'll just ask then....would you be willing to cast a water repellent spell on me?" You jerk your head towards the door, "I think it's getting ready to storm, and I didn't bring my umbrella..."

"It should pass by the end of your shift."

"Probably, but I have to sign off on a shipment coming in from the docks before then."

Rolan's eyebrows raise before setting into a scowl. "No. You can't go to the docks."

"What?" You blink at him, "Why not?"

"Because--" Rolan's eyes dip down to your cleavage before snapping back up, "B-because those men down there are uncouth."

"I've signed off on plenty of shipments," You insist, "You never objected then."

"Yes, well, I didn't want you to do it those other times either." Rolan is talking fast, his voice hard with annoyance. "And I definitely can't have you going down there dressed like--" He manages to stop his words, but not his eyes. They stutter down to your tits again, and it's just then that he realizes that his hands are still on the enchanted armor-- splayed out on the breast plate, like he's groping it. He jerks his hands back like it's burned him, and he hurriedly straightens up. "Just...let me do it."

"Wait wait," You wag your finger accusatorily at him, other hand on your hip, "Dressed like what, exactly?"

Rolan is obviously uncomfortable. There's no denying the deep blush on his cheeks now, and his fingers pick over the front of his robes in search of something to do.

"Nothing." He finally says, flinging a hand in the air as if to bat away the conversation. "I'll finish the upgrades after we open."

Rolan makes to walk past you, but you grab his arm.

"You can't be the one to storm away," You're not really sure what more you're expecting to get out of him, but you're not ready for your button-pushing to stop. "Not when you're the one who insulted me."

"Insult you?" Rolan scoffs and shakes his arm out of your grasp, as if that too is burning him. "It was a compliment, if anything."

You can feel your cheeks prickle at that, but you maintain your faux grumpiness. "Not by any standards that I know of."

"Take it however you want. I have things to do." Rolan begins marching down the stairs, his back to you. "Scrolls and...tomes..."

He continues mumbling his oh-so busy yet oh-so vague list of things to do until he's well out of earshot. You watch as he walks, controlled and stiff, towards the supply room.

Already? You thought it'd be nearly impossible to get him back in there, but it seems that he's easier to break than you had anticipated. It really makes you rack your brain-- Rolan has a habit of ending conversations whenever he feels like it, but just how often did those conversations lead him to the supply room? You should have paid more attention...

Either way, this is your chance to corner him. To confront him. You need to act fast.

Holding the bottom of your dress up, you descend the stairs two at a time, heart hammering and adrenaline spiking.

By the time you make it to the supply room door, you feel like a sweating wreck. Part of you wants to use it as an excuse to turn back, but you dab the sheen of sweat away with your sleeve and fan your arms in an attempt to cool down.

This is it. You got this. You can do this.

As calm as you can manage, you lean your ear against the door and listen.

"Stupid....stupid..."

There's no accompanying noises, just the sad, frustrated quiver of Rolan's voice.

It's heartbreaking, yes, but also perfect for your idea. You have no clue how well it'll work, but there's only one way to find out.

You open the door, heart in your throat as you step into the dim room. There's no windows in the storeroom, only torches that dot the wall at even intervals. It seems Rolan has forgone lighting them, instead casting a set of dancing lights that float up above, giving the room a warm, shifting glow.

"Rolan?" You call, spotting his figure a ways into the room, his body turned partially from you and his forehead against a shelf of potions.

As soon as you call out, he straightens himself and whips around, the enchanted lights nearly flickering out in his surprise.

"What?" He barks, reminding you all too much of a cornered animal lashing out.

You step into the room and close the door, buying yourself time to choose your words carefully.

"...I'm sorry." You walk towards him and stop a few feet away, just enough to clearly see his face. "I know you didn't mean anything bad with your comment." Rolan is still visibly guarded, so you add on, "I won't go to the docks, if you don't want me to."

Rolan's lips tighten and he gives you a long, silent look before turning to his side and fussing with the bottles on the shelf, clearly doing nothing of importance but trying to appear that he is.

"Forget it. I was being childish." He pretends to be heavily invested in the label of an elixir before setting it down with a clack. "Let me know when you're about to leave, I'll cast the spell on you then."

You take another step closer, "Rolan, are you upset with me?"

He scoffs, casting an incredulous look at you as he straightens a row of healing potions. "Of course not." He picks up another bottle and swirls the liquid around as his voice dips into something more conversational, though you detect the prying edge in his words, "So what's the occasion, anyways?"

You take in a deep breath, stomach tumbling as if you're in free fall as you say a single, simple word.

"You."

Rolan freezes, his glowing eyes wide as they stare sightlessly at the shelf, not daring to drag them over to you. You can't begin to imagine the thoughts that are flying through his mind right now.

A few moments pass like that, and it's clear that he doesn't plan to move or respond. He's waiting for you to continue, to inevitably add more to the conversation that will prove him wrong on what he's thinking, or maybe even to exclaim that it's a joke.

You take another deep, steadying breath. "I wanted your attention."

"....Alright." Rolan says carefully, finally turning away from the shelf to face you directly. He looks nervous, lips twitching and eyes restlessly darting. But you can tell-- it's not all just nerves. There's a layer of excitement there, too. His wandering eyes finally lock onto yours, and his voice lowers, barely audible yet still booming in your ears with the weight of it. "You have it. Now what?"

It's a clear invitation. Rolan wants you to take control of this situation-- maybe he's scared to overstep your boundaries, or maybe he's not entirely convinced that you actually want him. Judging by the things you've heard him say to himself, you suspect that it's a terrible blend of the two.

But that's fine, because you're going to show him just how much he's worthy of you.

Slowly, deliberately, you reach up and put a hand on his chest. You push him lightly, and he obediently steps backwards once, twice, then his back connects with the shelf with a clatter of clanking glass. Rolan doesn't blink-- his eyes are trained on you, almost like he's challenging, begging you to do more.

"Am I allowed to touch you?" You trace a fingertip over the intricacies of his silver shoulder piece, head tilted up to keep your eyes on his.

"Yeah," Rolan nearly groans out the word before he wets his lips and you see his adam's apple bob as he swallows, "I mean...yes."

"Where?"

"Gods," Rolan breathes, the points of his teeth shining in the dim light as he pants, "Please, don't tease me..."

"Sorry," You grin up at him, conveying the exact opposite, "You're just really cute right now...I didn't know you could be so docile."

"Docile?" He lets out a sharp exhale from his nose and you swear that his lips pucker out just the slightest, "I am not docile."

"Yeah?" You run your hands down his chest, loving the way the ridges of his ribs make your fingers jump. Rolan sucks in a breath and you can feel the muscles of his stomach tighten and quiver as your hands continue down. "Prove it."

Rolan's nostrils flare at that, the muscle in his jaw flexing as he looks you over. He wants to do something, that much is clear, but his nerves are still holding him back. So you decide to give him one last little push.

You raise up on your toes, bringing your mouths closer together, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath against your lips-- but only for a moment, because he holds in his next breath as your breasts press against his chest.

"Don't you want me?"

It's enough to finally break him. Rolan's hands grab your hips with a surprising, bruising strength as his head dips forward, his mouth hot and devouring against yours.

You feel naive to have thought that you were the one in control. His mouth is dominating, rolling against yours with an intoxicating mixture of passion and inexperience. You try to match his vigor but struggle to sync up with him, so instead, you submit. You let Rolan lick and suck and kiss you however he pleases, your head swimming with the hot slickness of his tongue and the rough, hungry drag of his teeth.

It's overwhelming in the best way, and it only gets better when his hands find your chest. His groping is more gentle than his kissing, but you can still feel the bite of his claws as he lifts your tits to enjoy the weight of them in his hands, kneading and pressing them together as he moans into your mouth.

Even though both of you are fighting for air when he finally pulls back, you can't help but whine and try to follow his mouth, not ready for him to stop.

"Gods, so soft, every bit of you..." His lips glisten with saliva and his eyes are burning as he squeezes your tits hard to accentuate his point, hungrily watching as the line of your cleavage swells.

"You haven't gotten to feel every bit of me," You take the opportunity to do some groping of your own, feeling along the lithe strength of his arms, then the taper of his chest to his waist "At least, not yet."

Rolan swallows roughly as your hands finally venture down his robes, feeling the taut muscles in his thighs. He spreads his legs immediately, welcoming your touch, and you can see the hard shape of his cock even through the layers of clothing.

"Poor thing," You coo sweetly, dragging your hands teasingly closer to it, "You're pent up, aren't you?"

Rolan's hands go to grip you by your upper arms as he begins panting again, each exhale holding the smallest shiver of a moan at the end. The sound is intoxicating, and it gets all the sweeter as you finally place a hand over his erection, fingers contouring to it's shape. Rolan's body reacts immediately and intensely to the light touch, trembling and bucking as he lets out a high, needy moan.

"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" You keep your eyes on him, loving the way he fights to do the same as his face twitches and his cock throbs against your hand, "You wanted me to touch you like this, right?"

"Yes, please, yes--" Rolan's voice tumbles into something nearing a cry as you press your palm down softly and begin to rub him through his robes, "Fuck, f-fuck--"

The shifting lights above flicker out just as Rolan's body curls inward in a rough jerk. In the darkness, you feel the weight of him nearly crumple to the floor before he stumbles into balance. His cock flexes against your hand in strong, desperate pulses as Rolan gasps around throaty groans, his claws digging into your arms.

"Fuck," He says again, but his voice is now wavering with embarrassment.

"Gods, Rolan..." You ease the pressure on his cock but don't remove your hand, hypnotized by the spent thumping of it against your palm, "You're so--"

"Please," Rolan cuts you off dismally, his fingers loosening their grip on you as you hear the shelf behind him rattle once more. "Spare me the niceties, I'm humiliated enough."

"Don't be." You press your body against his, once again standing on tiptoes to peck a kiss against his chin, then his neck. "I can't tell you how hot that was....wanting me so bad you couldn't control yourself." You kiss his neck once more, letting the tip of your tongue press against his skin for the briefest of moments, "I just wish I could've seen your face when you came."

Rolan's body shivers and relaxes the slightest bit as you kiss up his jaw before finding his mouth. Now that he's managed to calm down, you get to be the one to guide the kiss. It's tender, slow, the each of you relishing the feeling of the other. You could stand there all day, body pressed against him, lips together, breath entwining, but you know there's other matters that need to be attended to.

"Rolan," You pull away, pecking a kiss on the tip of his nose before finally stepping back, your hands finding his in the darkness. "It's probably time for the shop to open."

"Zurgan," Rolan hisses under his breath, "It probably is. But you-- I didn't get to--"

You know exactly what he's going to say and give his hands a squeeze. "Next time."

"Next time..." Rolan says the words with a sort of awe that makes you grin like an idiot. You hear him suck in a breath, and the hands in yours squeeze back. "Next time, certainly. I'll...take care of you. The way you deserve."

"I know you will." You raise his hand to your mouth and place a soft kiss on the back of his knuckles. "I'll open. You should probably change."

"Y-yes....thank you."

"We'll need the lights on first, though."

Rolan goes silent for a moment.

"Oh."

He gives your hands one last squeeze before releasing you, and you hear the rustle of fabric as he mutters a spell. The room lights up once more, the glowing orbs floating lazily above your heads.

Rolan looks at you, head turned down slightly and bottom lip trapped between his teeth. It looks like he has something to say, so you wait patiently, smiling at him to help ease his worries.

"I'm..." Rolan starts, stops, shakes his head, then starts again. "I've thought about you...I mean, I've wanted..." Rolan exhales sharply from his nose and shakes his head again before giving a shy smile. "I'm just very happy right now."

You can't help yourself. With a big, goofy grin, you raise up on your toes and kiss him again.

"Me too."

#rolan bg3 #rolan x reader #daisy dabbles #fanfic #nsft #uuhuhuhuh inexperienced rolan my absolute darling #also as a side note im open to doing commissions in the future maybe but for now im just doing requests for fun ghghgh

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canthavetoomuchchaos · 7 months

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Angry Wolf

platonic! Darlin + David

Tw: yelling, cursing, punches are thrown, bad anger management, Christian.

Set at a pack meeting where Christian says something that pisses off Darlin, a few punches are thrown and David gets involved. Just what did Christian say?

its a pack meeting. That's all it is, there no need to have anxiety, Sam will be waiting at home after, and they can just watch a movie with him. There's no need to have anxiety right now.

David is stood by the door, they give him a small nod in greeting, beelining to the back wall of the den where they usually hide for pack meetings. David doesn't mind, as long as they're present. Darlin let's out a small breath and pulls out their phone, looking through their few pictures of Sam that they have to make themselves look busy.

They tense as Christian makes his way toward them, they don't want to deal with him right now, all that will come out of it is a fight with how their anxiety is right now.

"Still talking to that leech are you?" He sneers. They ignore him and continue to scroll through their pictures.

"I guess you didn't learn from the last one did you? They're all the same Wallflower, he probably works for that Quinn guy, getting close to you for Intel? Have you thought that maybe, just maybe he's no different-" he's cut off by a sharp punch to his nose. Darlin's phone is now on the floor, the room silent as they seeth, eyes practically on fire with the anger raging inside them.

"He is NOTHING like Quinn, and you'd do well to get that through your thick fucking skull Chrissy..." They can see as he thinks for a moment, then decides to take the stupid route.

"did you fucking PUNCH me?! What the hell Tank?!" He grunts, nursing his bloody nose with a gentle hand, his eyes now glaring back as he throws a punch straight to their gut. They grunt and swing, hitting him in the temple. He falls to the ground, a yelp falling from his lips. The expression Darlin is making at him is a mix of angry and annoyed.

Christian snickers as he stands again, wiping his nose as it continues to drip.

"or maybe you just like being a fucking chew toy? Maybe you like it when those leeches give you attention. That's what you want right? You don't love this new one. You love the attention he gives you, isn't that right?" Darlin growls and straps forward, their fist flying straight into his gut, knocking him down again. They follow.

As the two of them fall to the ground Asher rushes over, attempting to pull Tank off of Christian, failing as he can't get around their flying hands. He huffs as he gets an elbow to the stomach as collateral of being so close.

David walks over, no hesitation, picking Tank up by their waist and throwing them over his shoulder. Enduring the painful punches they give to his back as they scream. He brings them to a separate room, one to the side of the main room of the den and puts them down. They plop ungracefully onto their butt. They quickly stand back up taking deep breaths as they try to reign themself in.

"you can yell Tank. I know you need to. " They blink and let it all out.

"FUCKING CHRISSY. WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?!" They pace around the room, staying a safe distance from David, who is blocking the door. "He doesn't know ANYTHING about me- he just- how could he just-" they take quick, deep breaths, they're trying to keep themself from crying. David frowns, they've never done this before after a fight.

"I'm trying! I really am! I'm better now-! I- I ask for help now! I DONT- I don't run off, I don't go and get in random fights! I'm doing better! Right? " They turn to David, their hands shaking, voice trembling as their eyes full with tears.

"....right...? I am getting better right..? I'm really trying David.." they drop to their knees, still trying to gather their breaths. David walks slowly to them.

"Tank....im not good with words, you know that, so this is going to sound like shit..." He huffs at himself

"you are. You are getting better. I know you're trying, I can see it, everyone can. All that work you've put into bettering yourself is not for nothing. I promise. Christian is just....an asshole."

They huffs a small laugh, now fully crying as they curl into themself.

"I just want to be accepted David. That's all I want...I'm really trying this time. I- I just want Sam..." They hate being this vulnerable, they want their mate.

"I'll call him to come, I don't want him to take you home just yet, okay?" David steps out of the room to go call Sam as Darlin stays curled on the floor. Someone walks in and they pull themselves tighter together, they don't know who it is and they don't want whoever it is to know they're crying.

"Hey Tanker....David doesn't really do hugs, and I know you don't either sometimes, but I think one would help right now.....can I hug you? Please?" It's Asher, he is speaking low, his voice quiet as he kneels about a foot away from them waiting for confirmation. They nod and he scoots forward, carefully curling his body around their curled one. They stay like that for a few minutes.

There's muffled speaking outside the door as Sam finally arrives, they can hear as David explains what happened to him and Sam asks where they are. He's let in and is by their side in seconds.

"Darlin..."

_________

#x reader #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted sam #redacted david #redacted darlin

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theninth09 · 1 month

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theo and liam both constantly trying to prove themselves and expecting punishment.

theos inferiority complex. "because im not a real werewolf?" obviously asked with disdain and insecurity. his voice trembling when he says "i-im not a failure" when the dread doctors classify him as such. his goal of becoming an alpha not because he actually wants power, but because he wants to be stop feeling helpless. he wants to be in control, he wants to stop having to fear that he'll get killed in case he IS a failure. and in s6 he keeps trying to prove himself, to the pack liam this time. liam keeps lashing out (bc hes in denial and telling himself he shouldnt trust or like theo) and theo barely ever reacts, just keeps softly looking at him and never rises to the bait. he wants to be useful, he wants to belong. he wants to be close to liam.

ive already briefly talked about theos relationship with pain in a different post, but just to reiterate: his non-stop provoking words so that people (malia, stiles, liam) punch him, laughing when his bones break, saying "maybe it only responds to pain" about the captured ghostrider and when he said "physical pain becomes manageable." yeah. he definitely got tortured by the dread doctors as punishment. and he probably thinks he deserved it.

liams fear of getting punished/thinking he deserves to be punished. the way he asks "are you mad at me?" with the smallest voice and the saddest look on his face. as if hes used to getting harsh reactions (liams bio dad that we dont know anything about?? yeah.) and in this instance, it wasnt even his fault. his IED wasnt the reason he got into a fight with someone, he didnt even hurt anyone accidentally. liam is the one who got hurt and still, he asks his dad if hes mad, expecting punishment. when hes down in the well and hurts himself punching the wall, he thinks back to his dad telling him that when kids get angry, they either hurt others or themselves. how many times has liam hurt himself during or after an outburst? punishing himself for being the way that he is, for hurting others when he doesnt want to.

liam taking the beating from gabe & nolan is another example of this. thinking hes at fault, that he deserved to get beaten as punishment for bretts and loris death.

in s5b when scott tells him that he hasnt actually apologized yet and liam explains that he feels like he has to do more. that he has to save his life in order to repay him for the damage. and thats probably how most of liams life has been. constantly doing favors, offering help and working himself to the bone trying to atone for what he thinks hes done wrong. the idea of verbally apologizing bringing him shame and guilt, so he just tries to make it better with his actions. even though its not his fault, even though he doesnt have control over it. he just wants to be good. he wants to belong.

#idk where i was going with this #its just #the parallels #this is so messy #throws this at you #theo raeken #liam dunbar #thiam #teen wolf #my ramblings

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daftmooncretin · 10 months

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rip to rian johnson but star wars sequels would be way better if ben solo was just kinda cowardly and han solo coded so he defected from the jedi and went to be a fun swashbuckling anarchist space cowboy instead

and finn and poe have to find him and try to convince him to come back to the rebellion but hes afraid who he is and what he could become

also instead of luke trying to kill his nephew for NO REASON (so insanely out of character it boils my blood) he just realises after ben dips thats hes not cut out for teaching. and is living on a mandalorian colony as rebellion liason/ambassador with chewie and sometimes lando i guess (din djarin is there) he aids the rebellion (because of course he would fuck that plotline) but he wont stay on the rebel base because he doesnt like all the chosen one clout and mandalorians are very chill and mind their own business

han and leia are still together and play active parts in the rebellion because fuck that plotline too although they do disagree about the ben situation (leia is annoyed and han is understanding) poe and ben childhood friends and for what.

in this au, rey is raised in the empire and is a sith lord but she has doubts and isnt as abjectly disgusting as kylo ren because of course not. (appears slightly too interested in the rebellion when poe is captured and maybe??? possibly lets finn and poe escape but thats up for debate.) rey gets more evil over course of movies before turning to light for plot drama and a satisfying zuko arc.

force awakens timeline

prophecy that a new jedi will rise and take down the dark side. rey and sith lord (dk who but fuck snoke im writing him out) assume it is the missing ben solo (its finn and rey tho fr) and are intent on finding him. movie opens on rey being evil probably and capturing poe. also finn as a character actully needs no real changes hes great. and then next scene space pirate ben solo doing his thing (but without identity revealed so we dont know who he is yet he may go by kylo because funny)

instead of luke poe has a lead on missing almost-jedi before he dipped ben solo and is searching for him on leias orders.(rebellion also believe the prophecy is about him. but nuh uh) torture scene and escape scene doesnt need to change but show reys nuances and how lost she is.

in the interest of narrative poe and finn still crash on tatooine but finn manages to pull poe out of the crash. (finn still gets the jacket at some point because i say so) poe is too injured to fly so they seek out help and and meet ben solo who saves them from pirates or something idk. (but neither know who the other is)

finn and poe convince ben solo to be their pilot still thinking hes a random smuggler named kylo. they get along very well, especially finn and ben. rey by this point is tracking their whereabouts

they end up on that lightsaber planet and ben gets the weird darth vader nightmare and freaks out, (hes afraid of being evil or something idk) poe is getting suspicious now also finn feels the force and takes up the lightsaber. rey comes and finn trys to hold her off. finn get hurt and drops lightsaber. ben is forced to take it up and his identity is revealed as rebel reeforcements led by han and leia arrive and they see him fighting. rey and ben have a weird charged moment (yes i guess i am still making reylo a thing but its reyben now and its woke so shh) and in a dramatic desperate effort he manages to knock her lightsaber away with the force. poe crawls into a plane at somepoint and blows up reys ship. the rebels destroy the stormtroopers but rey captures finn and escapes in a stolen ship.

ben has a oh-shit-i-said-id-never-use-the-force-again related existential crisis which makes him freak out and leaves. a distraught finn-less poe calls him a coward. poe picks up the discarded lightsaber and the jackettm and sadly packs them up. leia tells him about the starkiller and poe volunteers to go on the starkiller and save finn. han and leia have a sweet moment and han decides to go with poe on the suicide mission, chewie goes too.(chewie arrived at somepoint i guess)

mid hostage situation finn blocks reys force attempt and shes shook up. he sees something in her (finn is a beautiful sweetheart) and he trys to appeal to her. she force chokes him and books it out of there. but it is clear she fears him a little. he escapes with mind tricks and runs into han poe and chewie on the deck. finnpoe moment fr. poe gives him his jacket back in order to get the keep it it looks good on you line.

meanwhile ben is back on his ship(i guess its the falcon?) and he thinks about finn and his mom and luke or something.. a dream maybe?? idk something emotional and motivational for his arc. and he goes to a box under the floor in his ship and pulls out a green lightsaber. he turns the ship around.

on the ship poe finn han and chewie are planting the bombs and escaping when they get stopped by stormtroopers ordered by rey. poe is about to be shot by a big droid thing when it is cut in half by ben wow big reveal hes here oooo ah. rey is shot in the shoulder by chewie and angrily orders more stormtroopers. they cant take them all. han sacrifices himself by blowing up the bridge. he tells finn and poe to find luke in the mandolorian colony ben is distraught him and han have an emotional goodbye he tells him to tell leia he’s sorry and that he loves him and he proud of him then he makes chewy get ben out of there and he blows himself up. leia senses it v sad rip man but he had to die to intensify plot drama

rey chases them onto the ice planet and another weird charged moment. mind link established??? this time ben is too angry and grieving though so its not a good match and she wounds him real bad all over hes v scarred now. poe shoots at rey and throws lightsaber at finn. he gets ben onto the ship and finn and rey have the big force awakens show down. finn uses the force v powerful all that jazz the good guys get away. on the ship finn mentions how he felt a connection with rey to poe and claims he sees good in her

movie ends with meeting luke on mandolore. ben is very traumatised wont really speak to finn or poe and avoiding luke. finn returns lukes lightsaber and rey has doubts movie over. movies ends with ominous rey ben mind link

final notes (on first movie and overarching rewrite plans)

finn

finn is the protagonist of this movie so it would be much more character heavy on him them the original. more in depth on his stormtrooper trauma, how he always chooses the people he loves over the cause and his reluctance to join the rebellion. his friendship with poe and the han/leia parallel’s especially. relationships with han and ben important for his character exposition and he plays a key role in supporting both rey and bens character progression. possesses the strong sense of mercy and kindness at the heart of the star wars franchise.

rey

rey is raised in the first empire and does not know anything different. when she meets finn who was able to rebel and escape from the same system she is trapped in she becomes plagued by doubts and projects all of her hatred and resentment onto finn to compensate, but it is clear she fears him. to escape from her doubts she fixates on finding and capturing ben solo imagining him to be a frightening and terrible adversary. however when she meets him they see eachothers minds, and she sees how plagued by doubt and fear he is, how he runs from everything and he sees her too. they connect and develop a strange mutual fascination/understanding. this is put askew by finns appearance at the end of the movie in defence of ben. reys fear of finn increases when she sees the true extent of his power. she fears and hates equally finns strength of character and easy goodness and by extension hates ben for his alliance with finn. she blames finn for “taking” ben from her.

ben solo

kylo ren is a disgusting blight on the star wars names so ben solo is being completely reclaimed by me into a different character because i fucking hate that stupid pretentious eboy. instead ben solo is an incredibly han solo coded character with a heart of gold and deep love and loyalty to his friends and family. his main weakness as a character in this rewrite is his fear and lack of self belief. ben is terrified of being a jedi and of his own power. he fears his own nature and was so afraid he would become his grandfather that he ran from the jedi altogether. ben solo is a runner that wont face his problems, he runs from the jedi and from his parents to avoid failing or becoming something terrible. finn and ben recognise the need to run in eachother (although important distinction finn runs because he doesn’t want to fight for a cause. and ben runs because hes afraid he will be the reason the cause fails) and ultimately encourage eachother to break the cycle and stand their ground (well finn motivated ben in this movie, finns not fixed yet.) Bens arc in these movies is about learning to live with his own nature and fighting for what he believes in despite his fear. also dealing with mommy issues (ben is kind of jealous of poe and leias relationship the son she wanted or something blah blah blah etc) and being a malewife to his murder girlfriend. his job is kind of to support and fight with finn and later rey and help them save the world

finnpoe (will be a gay couple)

their friendship will be front and centre in these movies because they represent duty vs personal loyalty. poe puts the cause above all else and values his own life and personal relationships little. finn on the other hand is disillusioned with establishment cause of stormtrooper trauma and wants to protect himself and others from it. poe is the first person that finn truly bonds with and loves. he puts poe above everything, including being a jedi and the rebellion. this leads to a lot of fighting and discord between finn and poe as finn doesn’t understand how important the rebellion is to poe and poe doesnt get why finn is trying to protect him from it. ultimately though poe teaches finn faith and belief and finn teaches poe to accept love and value himself. (also many hanleia parallels) the two of them are the harbingers of a new age. poe as future leader of the new republic and finn as the jedi messiah or whatever. in terms of romance, im thinking slowburn. baity first movie, kiss at the end of the second and established relationship by the halfway mark of the third.

also when rey eventually joins the light in the beginning she refuses to talk to ben (cause of romantic drama i havent thought of yet but centres around some sort or betrayal in the second movie) or finn (because hes her narrative foil and slow burn best friend forever) so her first friend is poe and she kind of follows him around in her first few months before she eventually bonds with finn 4eva. her poe shadowing has lots of cute friend moments where they fly together and he tries to talk her down about finn and the ben drama but also more importantly it foreshadows her leadership ability and tactical mind as she gives him advice and aids him with the rebellion behind the scenes (also leads to leia taking rey under her wing probably because poe is her surrogate son and mirror) which will eventually lead to her and poe leading the republic together because in my mind rey is a jedi but actively a member of republic government because ben can’t do politics and finn won’t but shes great at it so she’d be a perfect jedi liason and vice president to poe. meanwhile finn and ben lead the jedi. finn as a knight travelling across the galaxy and ben as a teacher. (luke is happy in retirement rn on mandalore but leia is still probably an advisor in the republic because retirement is definitely not for her) and everyone is happy the end. force ghost han solo is clapping.

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bingusbongu · 9 months

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A/N: HAPPY YEAR OF THE DRAGON!!!!!!!!! so, as my first post this year, and since i started watching it, here is some Rottmnt boys x Dragon mutant reader!!!! I haven't finished the series, but i may or may not have accidently spoiled myself, so,,,,,,, yeah!

This is in gn! Pronouns! You can decide what your dragon looks like, but i will add in little bleps, like without wings/with wings, or if your character likes shiny stuff, etc!

Rottmnt boys x Dragon Mutant Reader!

Raphael

• he loves the fact that he isnt the only big mutant!!! But regardless, he still tries his best to be careful with though.

• you had to sit him down and explain to him that you basically had a set of body armor for him to relax. Honestly, it makes him feel better, less afraid to hurt you when he picks you up into a hug

• protests about you joining on missions, no matter how tough you are. You join nevertheless

• your guys's duo is kinda scary. If people werent intimidated by Raph, then you being thrown into the mix? With your claws and sharp teeth and towering figure? You can sure bet you both were a terrifying sight

• you are always behind Raphael. You two fight incredibly well together. Though, after Raph is all over you, making sure you're okay

• sometimes, a dragons scales can get damaged or scuffed up to where its uncomfortable. Raph is such a sweetheart. After intense battles, he will gladdly help you apply ointment to them if it makes you feel better!

• Cuddling is abit difficult for the two of you, saying Raphael's grip could be deadly sometimes. And not to mention the spikes on the back of his shell are an obstacle, and there is no way Raph could lay ontop of you without completely crushing you

• but, you were determined to cuddle this turtle if it would kill you. The only way you two manage to safely cuddle is when Raph is laying on his side, and you slide in and cuddle up into his body, letting Raph wrap his arms around you

• He is a churring mess when you two cuddle, especially when you nestle your head under his chin or into his neck. Though, one time while you two cuddled, a deep rumble came from your throat, much like a cats purr. Your rumbling unintentionally matched Raphs churring, and he was all over you

• if you have wings??? Raph thinks it's cool that you can fly! He would love to fly too, but he is afraid he would be way too much weight and doesn't want to accidently hurt you, no matter how strong you were. So whenever you offer, he politely declines (plus points if he is afraid of heights)

• you like Shiny things??? Raph will pick up any small trinkets he finds while he is out and about. It dosent matter what, but he loves bringing it back to you and watching you absolutely light up

• Raph is always there for you, especially if you have anger problems, which most dragons do. After you completely destroyed one of the rooms in the lair, he decided it would be best to keep close to you and calm you down

• if you are getting upset, all Raph has to do is get your attention on him. Maybe he lets out a few noises like clicks and churrs to calm you. Even if it is out on the battlefield, Raph doesn't want to see you hurt yourself, so he is automatically calming you down

• dragons can get quite protective, especially if its over someone who gained their loyalty. So when you get protective over Raph, it's a new feeling, and he kinda likes being the one on the other end then the protector

• you two fit together like missing puzzle pieces

• ( bonus for gentle giant x gentle giant )

Leonardo

• you are automatically the coolest thing he has ever layed his eyes on. A dragon mutant????? Who is HIS partner???? He has to pinch himself occasionally to make sure this was real

• he brags about you for sure, to his brothers, April, random people, you name it! He is already bragging

• "My partners a dragon, What can YOURS do?"

• tries to get you to sparr with him. You're always unsure because you dont want to hurt him, and he just waves a hand at you and claims it's because he could easily beat you

• ends up with his face down on the floor and his brothers clapping. He gents v grumpy about it, so he is determined to beat you at one point, (bonus if you go easy on him just so he could win)

• he is always trying his best to impress you. You're a dragon mutant. you're already rad!!! So he tries so hard to get validation from you

• though if he messes up a trick or whatever, he gets grumpy, but it's easily forgotten when he hears your laughter. He takes it a huge accomplishment to get you to laugh!

• he always compliments you, regardless if you're just standing there or kicking ass. He is absolutely commenting on how good you look

• IF YOU were the one complimenting him, any little thing, he has a huge ego boost and is all smug about it, while deep down internally screaming in victory.

• the number of times you had to save him before he hurts himself is insane. you easily pick him up like he weighed nothing, gripping the back of his shell delicatly as he flusterdly dosent maintain eye contact

• Cuddling dosnt happen constantly, the main times it happens is at night. He would be up watching one of those baby sensory videos at midnight and youre tired of hearing it, so you snatch the electronic out of his hands and drag him to bed, trapping him in a side hug as you curl your tail around him from preventing him from getting up. He would be complaning about it until he manages to fall asleep, he cant escape your grip

• oh, you tell him you like shiny things? He makes it his mission to find you the most high quality, shiny, big, and sparkly things he could get his hands on and bring it to you. It doesn't matter how big it is, Leo is already hoisting it up and going to give it to you like the best boyfriend he is

• you have wings??? Cool! He would love a pair of wings! Can you pick him up and fly him around???? Wait- to fast he is going to be sick-

• if you had anger issues, he found out the hard way and has been traumatized since, so he refrains himself from making you upset. Though, if you were to get upset during battle, he is on the side lines cheering you on like a cheerleader

• loves watching you kick villains ass's

• he adores your bravery! And your quick reaction times. How you're not afraid to jump into action, especially if it's defending him, it makes him swoon when you get all protective over him

• you two also fight super well together! Regardless, it's you always making sure Leo doesn't get ganged up on

• you being able to be patient with his stubbornness is a must. You gotta deal with him after all

Donnie

• definitely the most chill out of his brothers that you're a dragon mutant.

• youre allowed in his lab, only if your size wont accidently knock something over or take up to much space.

• you've had to save him multiple times from his inventions blowing up. Either shielding him away or picking him up with ease and moving him away from the danger. No matter how many times he reassures you, you're already to your feet when something is going on.

• Donnie knows you're capable of handling yourself, especially in battle. He doesn't worry too much about you. He knows you can easily knock someone into the concrete road. So he doesn't hover over you, just stops occasionally to see if you're okay before going back to what he was doing

• however, he makes you point out every hurt scale after battles or missions so he could put stuff on it. He doesn't like hearing your whining of pain because a danaged scale was piercing into your skin. He has a whole bunch of ointments just for you. He is on top of making sure you're fine.

• he definitely would love running his fingers againts your smooth and bumpy scales. Its like a sensory thing he cant get enough of. Especially when he is working on something, and it goes wrong. Instead of stressing over it, he runs his hand over your smooth scales and takes a deep breath

• Dragons can be quite smart and have swell knowledge. And if you do, Donnie loves your intelligence. Especially if he is just trying something and getting stuck, and before he could freak out, you calmly recite a fact and ask his thoughts on it.

• you are litterly the only one capable of getting him into bed. If he has been overworking himself, you'll just pluck him out of his chair and take a grumpy donnie to his bed to rest for the night, and wrestle him to stay in bed

• Sometimes, when Donnie gets stressed, you bring him to an area for him to relax in. If he doesn't want to be touched, you sit down on the next chair. But if he does, youde automatically up and laying down with him and let the turtle rant yo you about something

• likes it sometimes when he gets headaches and you let him lean his head on you. While you carefully massage his head so as not to hurt him. Your hands do wonders

• A lot of times, you guys just communicate through small noises. Especially while he is working on something and can't lose his focus. Youll let out a soft chirp of praise to him as he churrs back at you in return. Making it a back and forth cycle between the two of you, and you guys understood eachother perfectly. It confuses the others, but you two are fine with youre little communication system

• Sometimes, while he is tinkering and you're in the lab, too, he likes listening to your breathing. It may sound weird, but especially if you fall asleep, it's like a calming presence

• if you like shiny things, he found out when his tools went missing and you were attempting to hord them into somewhere to keep it safe. He gives you recycled tech you find pretty, or just lets you explore places, either on missions or trips to the junk yard to fiend new pieces. He lets you keep everything you find.

• you fly? Pretty neat, he uses his gadgets to fly, so you two are able to fly together. Despite his not being natural made. He also liked to feel the inside of your wing and feel its soft tissue, while being fragile with it to not harm you

• if you have anger issuss, he already made a device to track your mood, anywhere and everywhere. Just to make sure you're okay and not pulverizing someone. Though, if he gets pissed off at a villain or someone, he will let you lose and do your thing.

Mikey

• Sunshine x Sunshine protecter

• Goodness, this sweet little mad loves you and your intensity sm

• the first time he met you he was intimidated, but now you two are partners, he adores you

• No one, absolutely no one is allowed to fuck with him. Especially when you're around. One time when Leonardo teased Mikey, you stared him down so hard at him as if ready to slam him into the nearest wall. He backed off immediately

• you are pretty protective when it comes to Mikey, sure you dont hover over him, but you just make sure he isnt getting walked all over because he is the yongest

• Raph appreciates you and protecting Mikey. It gets a little bit of weight off his back to know his youngest sibling is safe ( he still worries regardless )

• loves to draw you! If you let him he would make full drawings of you, finding you a perfect muse. With all your details and complex features gives him a challenge! ( sometimes gets carried away )

• if you let him paint your scales, he is over the MOON. each individual one is like an empty canvas waiting to pop with color. Mikey would litterly sit there with you for hours on end decorating each and every scale. And he makes sure to use matching colors with them! It looks so good that you feel bad washing it off

• if you let him have some of your scales, he is definitely going to make them into some fun jewlery for himself, or for you! Like matching jewelry!

• tries out new cooking dishes to appease your taste buds. If you like more spicy food, he is on top of that! Making sure you get the right amount of food since dragons tend to get hungry often.

• he likes to game with you! Or - well, game while you watch. The one time you tried to play, you accidently broke one of the controllers cause you pushed too hard.

• absolutely the most affectionate of the family. It doesn't matter if you're bigger than him, he his jumping up and kissing your cheek no matter what!

• if you like Shiny things, Mikey will go out of his way to make you something. He finds the prettiest things and molds it together in a gift for you! The ones he gives you are your absolute favorite, you treasure them alot more than you do anything else

• if you have wings, he absolutely begs you to take him on flights. He is the lightest out of his brothers. He uses you as quick transportation to get to places!

• there is no way you can possibly get upset when he is right next to you. Is sweetness and just cinnamon roll energy always automatically calms you down. Though, if he is in a situation where he gets hurt, you are FUMING and ready to beat the shit out of anyone who gets near him until you calm down again

• doesn't understand why people are scared of you. You're the sweetest thing! Like a big puppy! Why are people running away from you????

• he knows he is safe with you, though he can take care of himself, he does appreciate your love and care.

• you guys definitely rub your cheeks together. it's adorable. He likes the feeling of your scales against his face. it's a rouch tingling feeling he likes.

• Mikey definitely asks to pet you sometimes. He easily finds the spots you like. Either rubbing the base of your horns or scratching your chin it gets your tail wagging and you rumbling and he loves it

• you are always with him. It's hard seeing you guys apart from one another! And he doesn't mind, unless he wants to do something on his own, you let him. But regardless, where Mikey is youre not to far behind

#rottmnt x reader #rottmnt x you #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt raph x reader #rottmnt raphael #rottmnt leo x reader #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey x reader #rottmnt mikey #reader insert #gn reader #x reader #dragon reader #rottmnt zone

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