#but still like… i’m not? afraid anymore? of being weird

[chibishortdeath]

Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).

I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.

So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.

[airbendertendou]

you are in love! ♥︎

synopsis : various best friend!characters realizing they like you a lil more when they should  [including bonten!sanzu, draken, senju, izana, aiura, saiki, satan, leon kennedy, and tamaki suoh.]

no pronouns used / gender neutral ; [name] used in place of y/n ; reader makes filipino food in izanas, im not from the philippines so pls don’t expect it to b accurate ; friends w benefits situation in satans ; reader dresses as sophie in tamakis but w pants and a shirt instead of a dress

song inspo ; you are in love by taylor swift 

if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked. 

——♥︎——

SANZU ♥︎

“big, scary bonten man,” you mumble to yourself. sanzu peaks at you over his shoulder as he cleans his gun, eyes narrowing at your tone. “never mean around me though, hm?”

he pauses, head tilting and pink hair following with it. you scoot further up the bed, laying against his pillows as he thinks. “i’m nice to mikey.”

“…that’s your boss.”

sanzu makes a show of rolling his eyes as he clicks his gun back together, satisfied with its new shine. “do you want me to be mean to you or somethin’?”

“why not?” you speak with a grin. the edge of the bed lifts as he stands, putting all his weapons away. sanzu pauses at your words, scrunching his nose in confusion. “definitely don’t look so mean ‘nd scary.”

huffing, he settles back on the bed, still sitting on the edge but a little closer this time. “i kill people, [name]. that’s pretty scary.”

you shrug, sitting up. your feet knock against his knees at the movement. “c’mon, haru,” you tilt your head back so that your neck is fully accessible, “do your worst.”

the room stills and you’re afraid you’ve pushed too far — afraid he might actually take you up on the offer. but something soft is pressed to the left side of your neck within the next second, lifting and latching onto different spots.

you gulp, feeling his responding grin against the middle of your throat.

the right side is given attention now, multiple kisses being scattered randomly. sanzu lifts his lips once more and places them on the base of your neck, his tongue and teeth making an appearance—

“ow, fucker!” you pull away from his touch with a scowl, your hand covering the new bite mark you’ve been gifted with. haru is grinning widely, teeth flashing in the light — you’re surprised you don’t see blood hanging on them. “didn’t have to bite me, haru.”

he shrugs, “wasn’t even my worst.”

you eye him, slowly dropping your hand from your sore and pulsating neck. “i feel sorry for your one night stands, then.”

sanzu hums, his right hand sliding closer to your hip and his body following until you’re face to face. it makes your cheeks heat ; makes you focus on the movement of his lips as he grins. “they won’t matter much anymore, anyways. have someone new i’m seeing.”

“oh yeah?”

“yeah,” his lips brush against your neck once more. sanzu tugs at your waist, bringing you closer to him as his voice softens into a whisper and settles against your ear. “if you’ll have me.”

DRAKEN ♥︎

a towel is handed to you, followed by a hoodie you know isn’t yours. draken’s cheeks flush, “in case you get cold.”

with an awkward wave, he leaves you alone. the shower you take is needed, warming you up and calming you down at the same time. no matter how long you’d known him, it was still the first time you’d be with draken all night.

the rainstorm appeared suddenly and disappeared as abruptly. it’d drenched you just as you and draken left the cafe you met at. his place was closer, he’d said, and he asked so quietly for you not to say anything. 

it was weird until you got to his place — a brothel.

“alright in there, cutie?” you’d just stepped out of the shower when the voice followed you through the walls. “ken asked me to check on you.”

they were sweet, the women that surrounded draken. they made sure you weren’t hungry ; didn’t need any refreshments or anything as they led you to draken’s room. “have a nice night!” they leave with a giggle.

draken eyes the smile you’re wearing as you tug his hoodie comfortably around your neck. “somethin’ happen?”

“they’re nice,” is all you say in response. his cheeks heat up once more as he turns away from you, body stiffening. “are you ready for bed?”

“oh—“ he clears his throat and shuffles where he stands. “you can take the bed. i’ll have the floor.”

you shake your head, pulling the blanket back and patting the bed. “i don’t mind sharing. right or left side?”

that’s how you end up face to face with draken, staring absently into the dark as your combined body heat warms the comforter. you can feel and hear him let out a sigh, “you okay? all comfy?”

“yeah,” your voice is embarrassingly breathy. he lets out another huff before an arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you to his chest. “oh— that’’s better, actually.”

draken lets out a laugh, “m’glad. goodnight, [name].” 

SENJU ♥︎

“on the count of three!” senju jumps out of the dressing room adjacent to yours. she pauses, wobbling where she stands before straightening up. her head tilts, “it’s... something, alright!”

you pause, “you hate it.”

“...a little.” senju struts off, grabbing two of everything that catches her eye. she looks over the cloth she’s picked out, nodding in approval. “here,” she stuffs the fabric into your arms, “try this instead.”

you take a bit to figure out what she’d even brought to you — figuring which was the top and which the bottom — struggling to squeeze yourself in. once situated and comfortable, you gaze into the mirror.

it’s cute, watch senju told you to wear. the color is nice and balances your skin out, brightening it and making it glow. the bottoms fit your legs nicely, shaping and enlongating them. you hum in satisfaction, peeking out of the dressing room to see if senju’s done.

“[name]! let me see your outfit!” senju spots you right away. she gestures for you to join her enthusiastically. you open the door fully, scooting out until you’re face to face with her.

you hold out your arms nonchalantly, “ta-da.”

her eyes widen, mouth falling open ever so slightly. snapping it closed, she gulps, looking away before her cheeks turned color. you tilt your head, “senju?”

“yeah,” her voice cracks. the outfit she’s wearing is the same as yours — a matching moment, she went with. senju giggles nervously, “yeah. you look... pretty.”

prettier than she’d ever tell you.

IZANA ♥︎

the smell of lumpia and fried chicken coats the room around you. ran had just rinsed the rice, moving to mix together the rice noodles and shrimp for the palabok. kakucho is to his left, slicing boiled eggs so they could go on top.

you let out a sigh, nodding your head at the impressive menu you’d whiped together. filipino food was a little out of your comfort zone, an unkown taste to you. however, today was an important day — a special one. the oven dings, indicating the cake you’d made was finished. 

fresh out of the oven, the simplistic chocolate cake looks and smells delicious. you slap your hands together, “jus’ needs to cool down and we’re ready to go!”

the front door opens suddenly, rindou’s voice calling out a warning as he enters. shion is right behind him, pink-faced and sheepish as izana steps in, hands crossed over his chest. he raises and eyebrow, “what’s this?” 

“uh—“ kakucho adjusts the apron he’s wearing. it matches the one you’re wearing — ran refused one. he looks around, “surprise?”

“rindou! you were supposed to keep him busy!”

the blond shrugs, “he got bored.”

you sigh, closing your eyes as the food you’ve made is thoroughly examined. izana meets your gaze and raises his eyebrow in question once again. “it was supposed to be a birthday surprise.”

“...it’s filipino food.”

“yeah,” you wring your hands nervously. “you haven’t had it in a while, so i thought i’d try making it.”

izana looks over the food again, stealing a bite here and there as he goes. his eyes close ; his chest expanding with the comfort the familiar dishes bring. when his eyes open, they’re brighter ; more tender than what you’re used to seeing. 

your left hand is raised, a kiss being placed on your knuckles as izana pulls you close. “thank you, [name]. this means a lot.”

you grin, “happy birthday, z.”

AIURA ♥︎

in the morning, right after she does her makeup and before her uniform is on, aiura looks to her crystal ball for guidance. just a way to know things will be okay ; the day won’t be weird.

through the crystalline sphere, she sees her hand clasped in someone else’s. giddy, aiura believes this means she’s found her chosen one. the one made for her ; the one who will love her endlessly.

“—has to be the one!” she’s ranting to an unlistening saiki, rambling about her peek into the future. kaidou slips from leaning against her desk at her words. aiura sighs happily, “i can’t wait to meet them.”

a faceless classmate interupts the moment. “some idiots are fighting outside.”

you go to look — aiura can’t even remember when you came into the room. you rub your eyes tiredly before they widen dramatically. “that’s our idiot! aren’s out there!”

people flood outside, pouring out to help their beaten and bruised classmate. aiura is frozen in her seat — how did she not see this? how did a fight just miraculously break out?

a touch breaks her out of her thoughts. you’re holding her hand — frowning and ranting as you lead her outside. aiura’s face heats — you’re her chosen one? her one and only happiness? 

she gulps as she looks up to your face. this changes things. 

SAIKI ♥︎

the day starts normally. kaidou tells saiki he’d spent the night fighting agianst the dark reunion — he was studying all night. kuboyasu fought the urge to threaten an older boy in the school — just barely. nendou had already asked to eat ramen — they’d just gotten to school. 

saiki let out a sigh, eyes staring at the board in front of him. aiura had bought a new perfume that was clouding his nose, his thoughts — everything. she leans her head to the right so that she could meet his gaze. “what do you think, saiki?”

she’s met with silence. the chair behind him creaks as you sit down, a small laugh being let out as you do. aiura pouts your way, “[name], saiki’s ignoring me!”

you tap saiki’s shoulder lightly, just a brush of a touch, before turning to the blond. “don’t take it personal, aiura. you can just ask me what you want.”

“an angel,” she beams at you. aiura turns to face you fully, scrunching her nose at saiki as she goes. “i got some new perfume and nail polish recently,” she flashes her fingers at you. “cute, right?” 

you lean in closer, chin barely brushing against saiki’s shoulder as you go. you let out a small oooh! at the sigh of her glitzed up nails. “super cute, actually!”

she squints, leaning in a little closer as she does. “you’re wearing a new eyeshadow, aren’t you?”

“i am!” you close your eyes completely, relaxing your face so she can see the color. “like it?”

“looks... familiar for some reason.”

saiki peers at you sneakily from over his shoulder, only looking at you from the corner of his eye. he whips his head around before anyone can see. it is familiar — it’s his exact eye color. it takes everything in saiki to not light up in flames at the thought.

SATAN ♥︎

you had been an acquaintance of satan for months now. he’d come to you when he felt upset ; when the only feeling he could name was rage. when the world was burning and erupting inside of him, boiling and spilling out of his seams. he often took his anger out on you — with your consent, of course. he’s bruise you, scratch you and leave his mark lingering in any way he could.

today, though… today was the opposite. there was an emptiness inside of him ; a devoid and barren system that left him feeling nothing.

satan came to you, straggling and stone-faced as he locked his fingers into yours. you’d gotten close during your times together ; he knew every sigh you made and every face you held. you did the same to him ; made him feel comfort and freedom in ways he couldn’t around his brothers. that’s why he usually came to you when any feeling hit — you didn’t feel suffocating the way the house of lamentation always did.

“you okay?” you’re on his lap somehow, thighs sandwiching his own as his fingers dig into your hips. you brush his hair out of his eyes, “satan?”

he lets out a hum. you jostle slightly, hips meeting his torso — satan let’s out a small groan and let’s his forehead fall to your shoulder. “need me to help you relax?”

it starts off slow, your kissing. the usual upkeep is messy ; tangled and rushed as your clothes are ripped away and your bodies pressed tightly. this time, satan is careful to turn your head the way he wants it to, his hands on your cheekbones and guiding your head left and right.

you’ve just unbuttoned his shirt when you feel it. tears, dripping down your own cheeks. you pause, pulling away and letting your hands lift from his shoulders and settle on his cheeks. you tilt your head, “satan?”

his fingertips welted into your back, molding themselves onto either side of your spine like a pair of faded wings. satan breathes in, his chest stuttering with the feeling. he sniffs, nose and eyebrows curving in confusion as he pulls further away from you. “what’s going on?”

“you’re crying.” you wipe underneath his eyes gently, frown on your kissed, puffy lips. “why are you crying? what’s wrong?”

“i… i’m not sure,” his lower lip trembles. satan falls deeper into your hold, his arms looping around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “feeling too much.”

his fingers dip underneath your shirt, and pull it up until you’re bare and exposed. satan smiles tenderly and you grin back, your own hands crawling up his exposed chest. “sure you’re okay?”

“good with you,” it’s murmured against your neck. satan sniffs again before nipping at your throat, opened mouth kisses trailing down to your sternum. “always good with you.”

LEON S. KENNEDY ♥︎

the bar you’ve found yourself at is starting to get boring. you leave after waving eagerly to your friends, shuffling on the sidewalk as you awkwardly pull your phone from its safe spot. a text from leon catches your eye — a mere thumbs up to the long paragraphs you’d sent his way. you scowl only to realize you’re closer to his apartment than you thought.

he wasn’t asleep — he never slept well — but he wasn’t fully awake either. hearing a tap on his door was strange, but leon let it be, assuming his neighbors had hit the wall on their way in.

until a long, drawn out whine of his name flew through the room.

swaying in his doorway was you ; eyes half-lided and your shirt falling down your shoulder. you grin his way, “hi, lee!”

“[name]. why’re you here?” he sounds gruff ; annoyed with the way you seem to always show up at his door. you know he isn’t, though, used to the tone his voice holds. leon holds his door open as you stagger inside, “been drinkin’ again?”

“mm,” you flop onto his couch, “birthday party. got bored. remembered you jus’ came home.”

leon quietly places your shoes by the door and grabs a blanket while you yawn. “missed me then?”

you let out another hum, pulling the blanket he’d given you further up your shoulders. slowly, your eyes peel open and you smile at him softly. “always miss you when you’re gone, lee. like when you’re home.”

home wasn’t something leon remembers. he moved around a lot now, going from city to city for his government affiliated job. home meant the presence of care ; of warmth. leon’s bare, empty apartment held nothing like that. crystal eyes fell to you when you let out a small hiccup, sagging to the right until your head fell on his shoulder.

“m’home for now, [name].”

TAMAKI ♥︎

haruhi adjusts the hat you’re wearing, making sure the blue blouse you’re wearing is tucked in properly. you shuffle in your spot nervously, fingers picking at your cuticles as she nods to herself. her eyes meet yours, “you’ll do fine, [name].”

“says you,” you frown. you stretch the neck of your blouse and clear your throat. “you guys are used to this stuff.”

haruhi swats your hands away, grabbing them in her own. “you will do fine. c’mon, it’s time to start.”

“welcome!”

tamaki doesn’t have time to speak to you ; doesn’t have time to admire the outfit you’re wearing before they’re greeting guests. his eyes stray to you again and again, his attention on you and not the guests who surround him. you go to every table, dropping off sweet treats and teacups as you go.

“—lly cute.” a girl is saying to him. tamaki blinks back into reality as his shoulder is touched. “right, tamaki?”

“could you repeat that, princess?”

her cheeks flare a bright pink as she straightens up in her seat. “i said you and [name] match. howl and sophie, right? it’s really cute.”

tamaki’s eyes find you again as you drop slices of cake off at the twins’ table. they giggle with you, tugging on your hat playfully before you leave. “we do match, don’t we?”

orchid eyes stay focused on you for the rest of the day. even after the club’s activities are over, and you’re helping clean up — he still stares. you finally look back, placing your hat on a table as you go. “yes, tamaki? you’ve been staring.”

“we’re sophie and howl,” his voice is light, faraway as he speaks. “did you notice?”

“only after i saw you.” you smile gently, watching kyoya tally up any and every cost. “a nice surprise for us both, i suppose.”

tamaki stares at your reflection in the window in front of him, eyeing the way you portray your chosen characters. his cheeks barely heat, but he still feels like it’s obvious to everyone. haruhi meets his flustered gaze and grins.

——♥︎—— i know nothing abt cooking n even less abt filipino food so i hope izanas was okay </3 hope they were all okay tbh

airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

[jester089]

Gotta say, massive fan of the work you’ve pumped out, especially for TADC (it came out two weeks or so ago and there’s this much already what?!)

That said, could you write for the gang (separately, I’m sorry l know it’s a lot) who’s s/o resisted abstraction? Like, they were halfway through but turned back through sheer will? *Insert John Wick reference* This has been ping ponging in my head for a while. Thanks for listening! XO

Glitchy pain

I've written for something like this before. And I wasn't sure if you wanted angst or fluff. But since what I wrote before was angst I'm gonna just donna do my ideas on this one. Also to anyone else who feels like requesting don't be afraid to ask for a lot of characters. My max is like 10 and only because Tumblr doesn't like super long posts. I honestly don't think I would have a max if not for that. But really from like 7 pm to 4 am I got a lot of free time and the want to write. So ask to your hearts content. TADC crew x (kind of) abstracted reader

Caine

Caine was floating around when he heard what sounded like a pained and glitchy scream? He quickly floats over to where he heard it from only to find you clutching your head crumpled up into a ball on the floor. He was about to float down and ask you what happened before he noticed the random glitches, black spiky flesh, and randomly colored eye balls all appearing and disappearing in the blink of an eye. So he backed off, a little sad over the fact you were abstracting but life goes on. Until you let out another pained scream, it was almost like the abstraction reacted as the second you screamed it reverted a bit and slowed down. It continues like that for who knows how long. You in a mental and physical battle with abstraction. Caine just staring completely taken back by what he was witnessing. After enough time you vomit a nasty and seemingly living blob of black goo onto the floor and pass out. Caine stares at your motionless body for a few seconds before snapping out of it. He puts the weird goo blob into the cellar and takes you back to your room. He doesn't even know how to react, so he sits there at your bedside waiting for you to wake up. Once you do he is relived to find it's still you, speaking in full sentences and everything. Sure your voice and body have the occasional glitch but overall you're ok. So he leaves you be, mostly. He still needs to study your code for how you did that. But past that and him being a bit more "walking on egg shells" around you, but nothing really changes. And not wanting the others to think your a threat, you and Caine don't tell anyone.

Gangle

Gangle was wandering around looking for you. Her comedy mask broke again and you were the only one who knew how to fix it properly. She could patch it up sure but it never lasted long. Much like Caine she heard you scream out, only difference being she recognized your voice. She quickly changed from casual and aimless stroll to sprint with reason finding you leaned against a wall holding your stomach looking like your about to throw up. She runs up to you and places a hand(?) on each side of your head staring into your eyes. She in a panicked voice asks "Are you ok?! What happened?!" You half shove her away a garbled and messy version of your voice half screaming out that it isn't safe. You quickly regret taking the energy to speak and move as a giant surge of pain jolts up your digital spine forcing you onto your knees. You let out another pained groan/scream as black goo starts oozing out of your mouth. It's only then that Gangle realizes your glitching! She panics and tells you to stay calm while she gets Caine. Gangle sprints off with a mission luckily finding Caine rather quickly. She especially screams at him to help her/follow her. He listens and follows her. When she gets back to where she left you, your passed out. But you aren't glitching anymore. And your not fully abstracted. She carefully walks over to you and sets a gentle hand (ribbon) on your face feeling a whole lot of relief when you half swat at her hand in your sleep. She'll watch you while you sleep making sure you aren't disturbed but when you're awake and she's sure you're ok you are going to be getting a whole lot of cuddles from her. Her comedy mask can wait.

Zooble

Zooble was missing a leg and was hobbling/jumping her way towards your room to ask if you'd seen it. She knocked on your door only to receive no response. She knocks again. Nothing. So she unlocks it with the spare key you gave her. She is stunned by what she sees. Obsessive scribbles covering your walls. Wall paper torn and dirtied. She takes a few cautious steps before finally hearing you say in a horrible sounding voice "P̵̛̣̤̪̑̈́̄͆̚p̴̹͇̆̑̐͠ṕ̷͔̼͙̅̀͐̿͋͜͝P̵̢͚̩̱̮̭̉͜͠l̵͔̟̰̘̼̹̼̯͉͆ḛ̴̣͈̖͛̈́̏̏͌̕͜a̴̢͇̣̮̠͕̮͆̾s̸̡͉̣̺̯͚̾̈́͋̃̑͊͘s̵̼͛̃͛̄̏̊̊͜͠ͅs̷̨̯̬̯͊e̵̢̪̜̗͙̞͈̠͌̔͠s̸̢͔̝̳̞͈̭̲͂͆̇̄͛́́͗ͅͅ ̴̗̻̳̗̜̙̹̘͒̒̑̅̂̎̚͘w̴̰̘͂͊̌̒͘w̸̢̦̑̍̈́͊W̷̨̄̑̌̂̚͝W̵̦̙͇̝̲̪̝̫̜̰̄͑̚w̶̮͐̏̀͊͠h̴̬̤̠̩̰͋͗̾̓̈́̍̅ó̴͍̭͇̯͚̮͔̽̓̔̈́ ̶̥̑͋͒̿̀Ê̶̼͎͇͍̳̯͌͋͐̓̋v̸̢͓̩͗͜͝v̴͇͇̮̻͖̪͕̰̹̫̔̌̎̇̑́ë̷̪̤̫̪͌͂̓̕͘e̵̢̨̱̘̗͙̘̱̱̩̎̾̀v̸͍̄͠ë̶̡̙̠̣̰̠́͜r̸͇̰͖̍͑͌̆̌ ̷̯̼͕͍̭̭̲͙̰̽̈́͝y̷̪͉͓͗̿̀̐̈̃̆õ̷̢̜̮̬͒̈́͒̿̀̽̈́͂̈́ǘ̸̡̟̭̩̠̜̬͙̃ṵ̴̭̮̹̯̺̜̤̈͂̽u̸̬̠͉̺͍̰͉̦͌̋́̃͌̊͘͜ ̵̲͖̩̹̲̊̐͂͝͝a̵̰̩̻̗͕͎̮͈̥̫͂̂̌̆̆̎̑a̴̭͒͐̏̎́́͝à̶̛̘̮͍̟̻͕̰̽̍͛̽̈́̃͛͝r̴͎͚͇̻̞̬͑̂̅̿͋̅̂͊̔ą̴̛̱̱̗̔̈́̈́̔͒̆̌͘͠r̵̺̰̬̹̮̬̘̜̈́̊͗͛̅̌͌͘͜ę̸̛̺̞͚̹̘̱̥̲̒̍̏̔͛̌̚ȇ̴̩.̶̛̖̙̦̝̹̰͔̉͂̆̉̐̾̐͠͝ ̵̘̙͎̼̻̩̬͖͌̉̾̂̄͜J̵͐̏̇̈́̑̃͜͝͝j̶̛̠̬̟̓͗͗͆̆̀̈́̿̂͜j̴̢͍̦͉̯͑̍̓J̷̨̧̢̳̟̠̯͖͖͚̐̈̏̓̈͐̎̐͝j̶̫̞̬͖̯̯̹̺̩͆̾̽́̈́̄ͅJ̵͖̘̫̓u̷̡̧͔̥͇͕͔̞̠̇͛̈́̎͂̌͂͘̕ş̶͕̫̎ṫ̷͈͖̲̩͉͌̅̍̈́́̿ ̷̠͕͕̖̜̻̯̻̖̃̏̀͂͑́l̷̳̣̼̓̈́̊̈́̈̎̀́̋̚͜L̶̡̜̣͔͔̼̠̗̎̇̈́̕Ļ̴̞̟̱̹͓̹̪͖͚̂̐͐̑̂͆̐̓̚͠ḽ̶̢̧̙̺̯͖̰͓͐͗̽̈́̃̔̀̾̕l̴̢̢̳̜̣̦̎́́̔̕̚e̷͔̫͉̘͉̓̓͋͊̀̿̄̕͝ͅã̷̡̢̝̮͔̮̰̱͒͌̈͊̾͂͠ͅͅv̷̗̼͎̠̝̋̓͒͛̂͐͜͜è̶̪̟̲̘̃̓ ̴̺̊̉͑̉̽̅́̕̕m̸̧̦͔̙͍̘̭̲̄͂m̸̧̫͎͌̀̃͜ͅM̴͍͍̫͚̺͚̪̺̿́̒͋̂͐̿͗̚͘m̴̛̘̼͔͑̿̏̅͌̊̾̕e̴̩̟͈̙͑̏͐̆̓͆̏̚͠͝ ̵̳̤͉͉͙̬̥̉̓́̀̓̃̀̌̊͜ͅḁ̶̧̗͈͍͍̉͂̀͆͗̾̆́̚͜͝l̴̜͓͈̄͌̓̈́̉͊͊̍͝a̵̲͒̋̂͐́̊̕̚͝â̶̢͕̫̘̮͈̻͕͙̩͑̂ḹ̵̨̮̓̓̊̍̕̚͝o̵͖͔̥̳̊̐̀͠n̵̺̥̲͔͔̿͋̊ë̶̯̤̻́̌̎̎́̾͋̄̄̋.̵̪̑͆̀̎" (Please whoever you are. Just leave me alone.) She cautiously walks over to your bed and peaks over it. Your laying there curled up into a ball torn and broken items surrounding you. Y-your abstracting?! B-but... Zooble doesn't even really register the fact. She's in shock from seeing you like this. (I mean I would be too) You let out an ear piercing scream and claw at your own face with enough force to tear the skin, if you weren't digital at least. The glitching gets much much worse for a few seconds before just, stopping. No rhyme or reason that she can see. But you can bet your a&$ that after like 5 seconds pass and you stop showing signs of abstraction she's going to huddle near your spitting out so many questions. Mainly ones like "ARE YOU OK!?!" and "Your still with me right?! RIGHT!?!"

Kinger

Kinger would more likely then not be there when your first started glitching. And that might make him officially lose it. Your the second person in this hell (Queener) who he felt close too. And he outlived you too. Still you aren't abstracted yet. Maybe their's still a chance! So he sprints off screaming out for Caine in a voice that is loud enough to make you go deaf if you were too close to him. When he finds Caine. And he will find Caine he grabs him by the shoulders and sprints towards where he last saw you. He basically throws Caine at your glitching form and yells at him to fix you! In that second you stop glitching Caine did nothing and Kinger will basically tackle you. He'll pick you up and hold you over his head like a spear and sprint towards your rooms. Once there he will set up the comfiest coziest pillow fort possible then get you all comfy inside. Once he's sure your at least mostly safe and he's at least mostly calmed down he'll ask you about what happened. (Despite him being pretty crazy I really do feel like out of everyone he would be the best at communication in a friend or relationship. I mean he's that crazy and yet he still has manners and knowledge about a lot. Tbh he might become my fav. Idk it's possible.)

Ragatha

You were helping out Ragatha with a surprise she was making for everyone to lighten their moods when you said that you feel kind of sick so you were going to call it a night. She nods thanks you for the help you gave then gives you a quick peck to the lips as a send off. Not to much to her surprise you choose to lay in her bed instead of yours. Just something you do when you don't wanna be alone. She shrugs it off and keeps working actually quite grateful that you decided to not leave, not fully at least. She keeps working but stops when she hears some very concerning noises coming from your sleeping body. She turns around to see you tossing and turning an abnormal amount in your sleep, as well as making a lot of noises that sound like when someone is choking on their own blood. Concerned she carefully walks over to check on you only to recoil when she notices the glitching. She trips over her own foot and falls over onto her back. She quickly but clumsily gets up and gets back to you. She shakes you a bit trying to wake you up, but you don't only concerning her more. She yells calls out for Pomni who pokes her head through Ragatha's door a second later. Ragatha nearly screams at her to go get Caine. Pomni startled by Ragatha's tone turns heel and runs off to look for Caine while Ragatha stays with you. She keeps whispering things like "You're gonna be ok" and "Pomni's getting Caine just hang in there". Always keeping a hand on you not caring when it starts glitching out too. When Pomni returns with Caine, Ragatha full on yells at him to help you. He looks at you, then back at her, then with a apologetic tone says their isn't anything he can do as abstraction is one of those things he doesn't have control over. Ragatha breaks into tears. So she's gonna lose you, she was even there. BUT SHE CAN'T F@%#&$* HELP?! She holds onto you like you're her last tether to reality. And you seem to get better. Your at the very least don't seem to be in pain anymore! So she squeezes you, really f&$%@#* hard happier then should be possible that your improving.

Jax

Jax found you in his room voice glitching you huddled over in pain. At first he thought it was a revenge prank and acted accordingly. "Haha, very funny Y/N. Now get out of my room I need to do something." That is until you vomited up a ton of pitch black goo. Then he started taking it more seriously. He quickly crouches down and wraps an arm around you to try and provide some support. He freaks out and quickly pulls his arm back when you vomit up more goo and starts visibly glitching. He panics and quickly looks around his room locking onto a like 3 day old unopened water bottle. He opens it and hands it to you as well as a thing to squeeze that half yells to just hang in there he'll be right back. He sprints around not even knowing who to get. He sees Ragatha and half tackles her. He shouts directly into her face that you need help and that you in his room. He tosses her in the direction of his room then continues sprinting around not long after finding Caine. He grabs Caine ignoring his protests and runs back to his room where he fins Ragatha sitting next to his bed you tucked in. Your not vomiting anything and you aren't glitching. You're just shivering. He hears you mumble his name and literally kicks Ragatha and Caine out quickly getting to your side. After he feels he wont get hurt he quickly gets into bed holding you close "If you ever do that again I'm going to take back my vow to not tease you." He falls asleep with his chin resting on your head.

Pomni

At first when you started glitching Pomni didn't really know it was abstraction. She's never seen someone abstract after all, only seeing the finished product. But when you keep getting worse and worse she realizes that something is wrong. So she leaves you with a quick kiss then runs off to the communication thing Caine made after the whole Kaufmo incident. She calls him and when he picks up she screams into the phone that your glitching out. When Caine appears next to her she runs back over to where you are not even checking if Caine is following. When she gets back to you, you're still in really bad shape. She turns back to Caine and yells at him to help you. When he tells her that he can't she starts hyperventilating, then she sees him pick you up and the cellar hole open?! OH F&#$ NO! She basically punches Caine then clings to you protectively, ready to throw hands with Caine if she has to. Caine tries and pull her off when she starts glitching but she has the grip of a professional rock climber. So Caine has to keep curing her glitches at they appear. Cause in his mind your beyond help but she isn't. Then you start to improve. No more coughing and the glitching has slowed down! Pomni glares at Caine then turns back to you with a scared and tired smile on her face. Once your ok enough to talk you are going to get an earful. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER YOU WERE FEELING BAG ENOUGH TO ABSTRACT?!?!?! (Sorry this was so long. I got a little carried away. And surprisingly I'm pretty proud of this one. I hope you enjoyed it!)

xoxo, Jester

[etherealyuri]

❝ PICK A PILE ❞

• Bridgerton (girls)

Choose an image that you most identify

With that will be your pile!

➽──────────────❥

How does your your s/o or crush feel about you?

PILE ONE ❀

your song: bad at love — Halsey.

This person might be afraid to open themselves up to you, maybe because they hate drama or gossip. This person may be sensitive when it comes to people talking behind their back/ and is easily hurt by certain actions of relationships maybe because in the past they’ve dealt with similar situations and would just like to start over without drama or gossip taking over. Despite them feeling terrified about this situation they do feel like love is the answer that they would still want to make things possible with a connection with you. They feel sorry because it may take them time to open up, or they might have a hard time with relationships in general because they may be scared to get hurt again (but their willing to try with you if it’s your crush) if your in a relationship listen to your heart and be with the person that gives you everything you need & don’t settle for someone who may not feel ready because what if things don’t work out? You should always be on your guard!

PILE TWO ❀

your song: waiting for a girl — Foreigners.

This person is open to compromise. They must really like you because they are willing to wait for you. I’m getting that they want you all the time. They definitely are attracted to you and desire you so much. (This may be someone who you know) but you are not in a connection with them for some reason. (Either you would like to take things slow or I’m seeing someone who doesn’t feel exactly the same for this person but they definitely like you a lot and maybe are waiting on you..maybe hoping they could change your mind) and for most of you there’s just someone who secretly admires you and thinks about you all the time and are willing to wait and compromise for you because they definitely want to work things out with you.

PILE THREE ❀

your song: stay — Kid Travis.

This person often worries about their connection with you. They worry that you might lose feelings or that you don’t feel the way that they do. They care deeply about you but they have no idea if you care about them still. They wished things were different even find themselves wanting to hold you and take care of you. They feel like you don’t give a shit about them because maybe you’ve been acting weird or different lately or maybe they can’t read your mind and they probably want to know how you feel and what you think. They really want you to stay. They are also hoping that the connection between the both of you works out. They probably think about having a future with you and being with you forever. They wonder in their mind all the time about asking you to stay..wondering if you would if they did ask you. If they left you before it was probably because they were under the impression that you were done with them & you wanted nothing to do with the relationship anymore but that’s not how they feel. They want this relationship and a life with you and want to work out things again. (This is for those who are in a relationship) as for those who aren’t in a relationship your crush may be worried that your family or the people around you might not accept her/him because they may be different and not what the people around you are use to..they might want to reject you in fear that your families / friends wouldn’t be compatible but if the two of you are meant to be together family and friends wouldn’t be able to stop that keep in mind)

If you enjoyed don’t forget to like share & follow dm me if you would like to book a Private reading with me! Okay enjoy your day bye! ✌️

[maidragoste]

hey hun! im sorry for your loss and i saw u post abt needing distracting. so could u write a jace x reader? it could be any plot you want whatsoever and could it be a modern au? as well fluffy! is that okay?

Hi, how are you?

Thank you for your message 💖 I'm sorry it took me so long to upload your request (in the end it cost me more than I thought to recover and then university and trying to find a job overwhelmed me) but I hope you like the result 🥰💖

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

It hadn't really been Jacaerys' intention to wait for you to come back from your date. He should be doing some college work but instead, he's watching TV without paying attention to it thinking about how the hours are passing and you still haven't come home. Your date should be fun if you don't text Jace anymore. Jace shouldn't be worried about you because he knew Rhaena would never have set you up with an idiot but he still couldn't help being worried.

Jacaerys wanted you to come home and see if you were okay. It would hurt him to hear the details of your date and see you all excited about another boy but he would bear it.

If only Jace wasn’t afraid of ruining things between you two then he would have taken you out himself after hearing you complain about how your love life is dead instead of letting Rhaena set you up with one of her friends. But Jacaerys is sure that you don’t see him as more than a friend and he doesn’t want to risk losing you so he doesn’t make a move. He's content with being able to be in your life, with the chaotic mornings of the two of you getting ready before going to class, with your text messages telling him everything that happens to you during the day, with the nights cooking together and with the breaks where you watch series snuggled together on the couch.

Jacaerys looks away from the TV as he hears the keys clicking into the lock. You walk in and Jace feels a pit in his stomach because you don’t look excited, you look defeated? Your eyes meet his and you give him a tired smile but you quickly break eye contact to take off your coat and sneakers and then run to the couch with him.

“So you wanna talk about it?” Jacaerys doesn’t even finish asking how much you’re already talking.

“It was fine. He’s nice and we talked for hours. Everything was going well until the end because he tried to kiss me.” If you hadn’t been busy fidgeting nervously you would have noticed how your roommate seemed to tense up all of a sudden. “I declined and he wasn’t bothered but it was awkward.” You sighed.

“Why did you reject him? Are you the kind of person who has a rule of not kissing on the first date?”

“Because I don’t like him” you declared, suddenly looking up and for a moment, at the intensity of your gaze, Jace forgot to breathe. “I could be his friend, but I’m not interested in him in any other way.”

“Oh” was the only thing that came out of the surprised man’s mouth.

“Oh,” you repeated, “Why did you wait for me, Jace?”

“Who said I was waiting for you? I was watching TV” he denied instantly.

“Jace”

Seeing your beautiful eyes looking at him pleadingly for a moment, Jace was afraid to give in and confess everything to you, as for more than a year he can’t stop thinking about you and wants to be more than your friend. But again, he’s afraid of making you uncomfortable and losing your friendship, so he asks instead.

“What does that have to do with you not liking your date?”

“While I was with him I realized that I actually wanted to be home with you” you confessed and instantly regretted it when you saw that he remained silent. “Forget it. I'm sorry for making it weird” You got up ready to go to your room so you could have a crisis alone about ruining your friendship with Jace when he took you by the hand and pulled you causing you to end up on top of him.

“Oh no, I don’t plan on forgetting it, not when I’ve been pining for you for over a year,” he stated making you smile.

“You’re a coward,” you mocked without malice. “Over a year and you never made a move. You’re lucky I decided to act.”

“You’re right,” he said smiling unbothered. “Now that we’ve established that I’m a fool and you’re the best, can I kiss you?” he asked and you laughed feeling delighted with him.

“Try not to sound so desperate to kiss me.”

“Can you blame me?” He arched an eyebrow, any embarrassment or fear he felt disappearing the moment he knew his feelings were reciprocated. “I thought a lot about kissing you and I finally have the chance.”

At his confession, you felt heat on your face and your smile grew. “You're such a fool.” You took his face in your hands and felt your heart warm at the softness with which Jace looked at you.

The moment your lips touched his Jacaerys knew he would become addicted to your kisses. He would look for any excuse to kiss you as many times as he wanted. You would probably become the clingy couple that his friends would make fun of. But he didn't care and he didn't think you would either because you were kissing him with the same intensity.

Taglist for all my House of the Dragon works

@chaotic-fangirl-blog @venus-flytrap3 @ajordan2020 @iloveallmyboys @sweethoneyblossom1 @fudge13 @crystal-faith @tita004 @ichanelvxgue @snowprincesa1 @joyouart @rosey1981 @alastorhazbin @papichulo120627 @apollonshootafar @jasminecosmic99 @partypoison00 @labellapeaky @rebelliuna @bxdbxtxh15 @impartinghades @thegirlnextdoorssister @angeliod @snh96 @aleemendoza2425-blog @natashaobo @watercolorskyy @nyenye @savagemickey03 @kishie8 @ewwwitsel @arabis-world @missusnora @nzygftoji @alisoncdariel @cookielovesbook-akie @partnerincrime0 @klara-lily @427120lxld @justhereiguess2 @buckylahey @wa801 @artistadistrada2002 @thelastemzy @justanotherkpopstanlol @yn-jackson @jacesvelaryons @pictureofcaroline

hotd masterlist

[xanderisbraindead]

How to get the confidence to dress alternative in public: LONG POST {from a scene king!!}

I hear a lot of young teens online saying things along the lines of, “I would love to dress like that but I’m scared”. We’ve all been there, it takes bravery to step outside the box. Since 2020, there has been an uptick in alternative fashion, which makes things a little better, but it doesn’t mitigate the fear some people feel.

As someone who has been dressing alternative all throughout highschool and who I’d like to think has some 17 year old wisdom, this is how you can get the confidence to dress how you want. This can apply to other alternative fashion types like decora, punk, goth ect ect.

This post goes with a youtube video!! You can just watch it if you dont wanna read

Realize why you’re scared: Is it because you’re afraid of being different or picked on? Are you afraid of change? Do you think your friends/peers won’t care about you anymore? These are all valid reasons, and once you know why, you can start to tackle it. Change isn’t bad, everyone changes, change is natural. Look around at nature, seasons change, we grow and age, animals migrate and go through metamorphosis. You don’t have to be confined to one thing forever just because you weren’t born that way. As for the fear of being picked on, fuck those people. Do you know why people tease others? It’s because they’re insecure. Hurt people hurt people. When people see you being yourself and they wish they could do that, they take it out on you because in their heart, they’re jealous. You’re not the problem, they are. (If you’re afraid of being physically hurt, that is completely different and I would not advise putting your safety in jeopardy)

Start slow. While you’re still building your wardrobe, you can start slowly stepping out with small accessories and such. Add some kandi to your outfit or a tattoo choker. This is mainly to ease yourself into it. Big changes can be pretty scary and jarring, so easing into it can help you.

Have some role models. By this I mean, have people you look up to, people that are inspiration to you. Me? Some of mine here on tumblr are @xx-may4-malic3-xx , @xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx , @xxdespairfactionashtonxx , @cigsnvalentines to name a few. Theres also some old scene queens, musicians, ect. Find whoever you want. I’m reccomending this, because when you see other people doing the same as you, it makes you go “if they can do it, so can I”. Most people probably wont even mind if you send them an ask about specific things (ik i dont, i love them).

Kinda the same point, but build a community. We have a pretty good community here on tumblr. Community is the backbone to everything. Ideally it would be someone irl, but not everyone is lucky enough to have cool irl friendz.

Fake it till you make it. Nobody has to know you’re scared but you. I’m not saying get super extroverted if you’re introverted and go around exuding confidence like a lazar beam. Dance in your mirror, hype yourself up. Take cool pictures and edit them, even if you don’t post them online. Learn to walk with your head up, again SLOWLY. As you start introducing more alternative elements into your wardrobe, wear them with pride.

Be the change you want to see. What I mean is if you want people to be kinder, you be kinder. Try to compliment someone every day. People actually aren’t as rude as you think, maybe I’m an optimist, but I think the average person isn’t terrible. Complimenting other people also makes you feel good, try it. Piggybacking off this point, don’t take things so personally. I know if can be easier to harp on the negative looks and comments you got versus the good ones, but you have to look past this. There are gonna be bad apples always, but their misdeeds can blind you from the people who think you’re pretty cool. Don’t let one bad apple ruin the bunch.

Lastly, realize being cringe is okay. Not just realize it, but internalize it. What even is cringe? Define cringe… Weird? Different? Everyone is different, everyone is weird about something. As I said earlier, some people are just too scared to be themselves. In 80 years when you’re old and looking back on your life, would you rather regret not being your authentic self, or think of all the fond memories of your life? Regret is one of the worse things in life, it’s terrible. There is nobody you can be but yourself. You’re you, so be you.

Remember that this is something that can take months or years. I feel like this past year and a half I have become fully confident in my fashion. I have been dressing alternative for 5 years for reference. I hope this could help someone.

If I wasnt clear on anything, feel free to send me an ask! Im more than happy to help!!

[replaytech]

I can patch you up | tech x reader

warnings: mentions of injury and bruises, mention of past medical trauma/medical anxiety

-

Doing target practice with a broken hand probably wasn’t the best idea you’ve ever had.

You didn’t want anyone worrying about you or making you sit out on a mission, so you kept to yourself about accidentally rolling a metal storage crate onto your hand.

After a few minutes though, you had enough of the pain. You snuck away and back onto the ship so you could find a med kit and rest your hand for a little while.

You start searching through the many storage compartments, but come up empty handed.

You let out a sigh and trudge your way up to the cockpit, but stop in your tracks when you see tech on his data pad.

You’re about to turn around and walk away but it’s too late, “I thought you were practicing”, he says without looking up from his data pad.

You subtly move your hand out of view, “Yeah, I just wanted a break is all.”

Tech looks up at you, “You’re worse at lying than wrecker, are you aware of that?”

You sigh, hating the fact that he’s so good at reading you, “I was just looking for a med kit.”

“For your injured hand, I suppose?”

You whip your head to face him, “How did you know about that?”

He sets his data pad down, “I seem to know a lot of things, especially when they concern you.”

You let the barest hint of a smile grace your lips, “Yeah?”

Tech looks you in the eyes, “My head is often filled with war strategies, probabilities and facts about the galaxy that surrounds us, but you’ve made your way in there too, somehow.”

You fight any redness that wants to rise to your face, “Good.”

His tone becomes a little playful, “You do enjoy the thought of me being distracted by you during missions, don’t you?”

You shrug, “It’s not something I’m against.”

Techs face changes a little bit, seeming to snap out of a trance that you often put him in, “Enough stalling. Come sit. I will patch you up.”

“I’m fine, it’s not a big deal-“

“I do not remember any part of my statement being a question. Sit.”

You sigh, “Yeah, okay”, you sit next to him as he takes out the med kit.

Tech takes out a small vial of bacta spray, holds out his hand and does a little “give me your hand” motion.

You slowly put your shaky and bruised hand in his and tense slightly, which tech notices, “Why are you nervous?”

He starts to spray your hand as you scoff, “I am not nervous.”

Tech puts the spray down and examines your hand gently, like he’s afraid the slightest touch will cause you pain.

He brings your hand closer to his face, “Like I said earlier, lying is not a strength of yours.”

You can’t help the small laugh that bubbles out of you. You swear you can see tech slightly smile afterward.

You sigh, “The medics on kamino weren’t the nicest. I freaked hunter out once because he tried to reset my shoulder and I nearly had a panic attack.”

You avert your gaze from techs and become nervous. What if he thinks you’re being ridiculous or dramatic? What if he thinks it was weird to say that out loud?

He begins to wrap your hand with medical tape, “Kamino was… unpleasant, to say the least. However, there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore, unless you let crosshair wrap up an injury. Last time I let him do that it was horribly uneven.”

You relax almost immediately. Tech had a way of calming your nerves like nobody else. His logic and honesty was so comforting and reassuring to you. You’d be a mess without it.

“There you go”, he says as he finishes, still holding onto your hand.

Your voice comes out soft, “Thanks, tech.”

He looks at you, his brown eyes bringing nothing but warm feelings to you. After a few seconds he clears his throat and lets go of your hand.

Tech looks away, trying to busy himself with his data pad again, “Well, if you need anymore patching up, you know where to find me.”

“Everything okay?”

He glances at you for a second but goes back to his data pad, “Yes. I am fine.”

You bite your lip to hide your smile, “You’re just as bad at lying as wrecker”, you repeat his words back to him.

You see him blink at the ground, “What’re you thinking about?”

“How do you know that that is what I was doing?”

“I notice things about you too, tech.”

Before he can say anything, you speak up again, “That’s your thinking face. The one where you’re blinking or looking at the ground. And when you think something is funny, you put your hands on your hips.”

He seems to think for a few more seconds before he sighs, “Like I said before, you are very distracting. To be quite frank, your beauty is like none i’ve ever seen before.”

Before you can say anything back, wrecker appears from around a corner, “Am I really that bad of a liar?”

You and tech share a look before turning back to wrecker, “Yes, wrecker”, y’all say in unison.

[thesharktanksdriver]

Being Jason Todd's kid (Platonic)

Warning: at the beginning y/n has a shitty mom and neglectful (+abandoning them) plus a mention of Jason’s death of being beaten

You knew for a long time your mom didn’t love you, even your young 8 year old mind could tell

From the way she looked at you with disdain and disgust

She was still your mom though so you loved her

Loved her despite the yelling and sending you to your room with a granola bar as your dinner

It was fine

Everything was fine

All you had to do was keep doing your best to make her love you like in the books you’d read at school

So you did your best to appease her

You’d bring her the sticks that would create the smelly wisps of smoke that would stain her gnashing teeth as she yelled at you

Or bring in the amber coloured drink in glass bottle she liked

You tried it once cause the tap didn’t make water anymore but you didn’t like it

It felt as if it was burning your throat and tongue as it slithered down your parched throat like venom from a snake

When she feel asleep on her chair you’d place a blanket around her but left the tv on

She got mad at you cause of that the first time

You made rules in your mind on how to properly dance around the tiggers that would make her angry

Some you didn’t really understand as to why she got angry over it but you avoided it anyways

Just keeping quiet and silently going about your day to make her as happy as you could

She never took you out much, often leaving you at home when she’d get groceries or went to work

But as a surprise she told you that you’d be going with her to carry the bags

It was night, but you didn’t mind it much since you’d always preferred it

Made getting your mom the smelly sticks easier when it was the man at the cashier at 711

Eventually as you walk further into the city with her you see that your in an area you’d never been before

It’s scary, really scary but you don’t say a word

You don’t say anything when she tells you to wait at the curb beneath a streetlight as she walks off

Cold concrete kissing your palms as you sit there, a lone 8 year old waiting

Still wearing pyjamas and barefoot as the cold chill of the night began to set in

It’s nothing you can’t handle, besides she’d be back soon

She said she would

And if your actions were right you couldn’t break a promise

She’s just taking awhile is all

Maybe it was busy!, yeah that had to be it

People were just busy shopping cause they were at work in the day

So you wait some more

And some more

And now your shaking as you hug yourself

You can’t go home cause you don’t k is the way back and your afraid to leave incase she came back and got mad

There’s a slight chatter sound as your teeth clatter from how much your shaking

The tears feel so cold against your cheeks that you swear they might become frozen to them

There isn’t any noise except for the occasional honk streets away, the night is calm

Until there’s a marsh crash and curses come from the alleyway across from where you sit

It makes you go still and tense

Until a man exits it wearing an odd red mask with glowy eyes

He stumbles out and curses with a weird almost electric sound to his voice before he locks eyes with you

“Oi kid!, what are you doing out so late and alone?”

He takes as step forwards and you scoot back a little bit, still shaking as he now notices how your not wearing much on a cold night

He takes off his jacket

“If I give you my jacket will you tell me your name?”

“I heard I’m not supposed to talk to strangers…can you tell me your name?”

At this nods and as he got closer you dont back away like before

You let him place the large jacket over your shoulders, it’s big and bulky and reminds you of a blanket with the fluff on the inside

He says his name is red hood, something that makes your eyes light up with familiarity

You’d heard about him from your mom watched the news, mentions if the name but never what he looked like

There was also something with him and Batman? But you didn’t really know a lot about it from the snippets you heard

“Does that mean your a hero?.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that. But close enough”

“That’s cool, mom said that hero’s were a sham. I always thought their cool, I’m y/n by the way”

“Kid how old are you?, what are you doing out here?”

You go to hold your fingers up to show him but you don’t remember what’s past five

Mom pulled you out of preschool saying she’d Homeschool you but never did

Whatever you had learned was from tv and the limited books you could read

You begin to tear up in frustration

“Hey it’s ok kid. Second question then, what are you doing out here”

“Mom said she needed groceries and she let me come this time so I can carry the bags. She said that I had to wait here till she’s come back”

He goes rigid at that but you don’t notice

You curl up in a ball and zip up the coat around you

Now properly protecting you from the cold except for your feet

“Mr hood can you wait with me. I don’t wanna be alone”

“Sure thing”

So he sits himself beside you on the curb

To pass the time he pulls out a small book labeled “pride and prejudice” and begins reading it to you

It’s nice having someone to read with

He uses different voice for different characters, giving them posh accents that make you giggle

But as time ticks on he notices how your shoulders droop more

Along with your smile

Eventually he stops reading and puts his book away

“She said she’d come back…she’s coming back right?”

It sounds so broken as you ask this, you turn your head to look at him and he sees your reddened eyes that have tears lining them

The only sounds you can make are choked sobs and sniffles as the masked vigilante pulls you into a hug

You grab onto him tightly, small hands digging into the metal plating of his armour

Afraid he’d leave as well just as everyone else in your life did

“Do you have a dad you can go to?”

“Mom said he left because of me…so I don’t think so. Do you think if I go home she’d be mad at me?”

He feels his heart shatter a bit at that and he doesn’t know how to respond other than gently rubbing the back of your head

Jason at this point in his life knows he’s not in the best place to care for himself let alone a kid. He’s a walking corpse back from the dead, wanting to get revenge as his mind unscrambles itself day by day

But as you sob he knows he can’t let go

Those memories of his mother staining his mind along with the sound of your crying

The betrayal similar to this where she willingly led her child to a certain death

He also doesn’t trust the foster care system nor any system for a matter of fact

He’s seen his share of messed up kids that have been created through them

So in that moment Jason makes an impulsive decision he wouldn’t ever regret

“Do…do you wanna come with me then?. You gotta keep my identity a secret though, k?”

“O-ok Mr hood”

“Just call me Jason kid”

Yeah so first couple weeks Jason struggles since he hasn’t exactly looked after a child before

Your an independent kid from the conditions you lived in before but that makes him worry quite a bit

Especially when you have a small snack and call it a dinner

So he just takes small steps, and also reads parenting books…a lot of them actually

He still has to set you up a room so he lets you take his bed while he sleeps on the couch

It’s easier that way cause he’s afraid of accidentally hurting you while having a nightmare

Which he still gets quite frequently

You don’t seem to mind, just thanking him for sleeping in a nice bed and having blankets that properly keep you warm

Before you came along he kinda just got takeout but he knows that isn’t the healthiest thing so he actually starts cooking

He’s pretty decent at it due to helping Alfred and for like the first time in your life you have a proper meal

You have to hold back tears and it makes his heart crack a bit at the sight

Jason hires an online teacher before sending you to school due to the fact your a bit behind in what a child your age needs to know and he doesn’t trust that Gotham is safe enough yet

Speaking of which he’s protective, like real protective for good reason though

He’s still running around at night with Bruce chasing him along with Gotham being a cesspool

So it’s safe to say that it’s not exactly a safe place for you

Won’t admit it but he purposefully buys you clothes that are red cause he thinks it’s cute

Especially if you say you want more red cause it reminds you of him

100% makes it a tradition to read a chapter of a book to you each day and teaches you to read better through it

He gets better from time and experience

Whenever he comes home battered and angry he makes sure to take his anger out on something before he heads into the apartment

He doesn’t wanna accidentally scare you or snap by accident

You try to help him with his wounds (as best as an 8 year old can) and he melts

Another thing that makes him melt is when he walked in on you trying on his helmet and leather jacket

He laughed and then played with you before putting on some ABBA that y’all danced to

It takes awhile but once he gets your room set up he’s really proud and happy with himself for once when seeing your smile

It was when you thank him that you accidentally called him dad

You freeze and go to apologize but he just hugs you

And you feel tears hit your shoulder

“No it’s ok, yeah I’m your dad now kid”

When your about 10-13 he sends you to school since your properly caught up and he thinks it’s probably best you make friends

He’s already at this point gotten you a fake ID with a new last name since he knows if you have Todd then Bruce is gonna look into it

While he isn’t trying to get revenge anymore he’s still not on the best of terms with the old man

A metaphorical wall between them that leaves Bruce at a distance

Jason likes it this way though since no one knows about you

Giving you a relatively normal life

Now that your a bit older he shows you some of his favourite tv even if it’s still not the most age appropriate thing for you to watch

But as long as no one knows you can watch Buffy but shhhh

Loves binging series with you but also enjoys watching movies as well like lost boys

He’s got a soft spot for older films that will probably be transferred to you

Oh and murder mysteries like knives out (Damn you Bruce)

You don’t remember your birthday so he uses the day he found you as it

And at this age he goes 100% on them

Like guess whos gonna go see hadestown?!?

By god he loves you so much, like goes from big intimidating vigilante to gentle little shit when he gets home

Sometimes you try to stay up late to be awake when he gets home

You usually fall asleep and it always makes his heart warm and fuzzy at the sight of it

Definitely takes you around on his motorcycle and makes you your own helmet to match his

You best bet your gonna be the fucking coolest kid in school with the leather jacket he gets you

He teaches you how to defend yourself and stick up for others

And not to let people step over you

Sure he gets some calls from the office but when he hears little Tommy was being a dick he’s taking you to get Dairy Queen and a pat on the back

You also get a lot of his sass as well

Like you’ve gotten in trouble several times for being a smart ass to terrible teachers

He affectionately calls you “little shit” “ankle bitter” “kid” and “brat”

In return you tease him for having white hair and calling him “old man”

At this point he hasn’t told you about Bruce and his revival but you know he has something against Batman

And for now he leaves it at that since he would prefer to tell you when your a bit older since your still a kid

No matter what he’ll get it into your head to NEVER become a hero or vigilante

Seeing him come home battered and bruised is enough to convince you of that though

Along with that he also teaches you about picking and choosing fights and when to know that you should get help

He doesn’t show up to pta meetings at Gotham academy cause he’s kinda scare Bruce is gonna be there and have some questions

There have definitely been some times while taking you out for something that he narrowly avoided his family

Speaking of which despite them not knowing about you, you actually know about them

Jason actually entrusts you with the information that their the bat family to you since he knows you won’t tell anyone

Even if you did it would sound like a kid spouting off fun theories

You once called Nightwing a dick for a joke and he turned around all confused until he realized what you said

When you told Jason he laughed his ass off about it

Every year for Halloween he lets you borrow one of his spare masks and y’all go out for trick or treating

At the end of it you guys have a tradition of eating some of your spoils of candy on a rooftop overlooking Gotham

When you become a teenager he’s surprisingly really good at dealing with you

Partially because Jason’s still a grungy teen at heart lol

Y’all don’t really have misunderstandings since he puts effort into making some communication is key

Unlike with Bruce who he feels never tried to see his viewpoint Jason makes sure to see your one on topics and issues

But that’s the rare case you guys actually have a discussion like that

Jason actually really happy if you start dating and isn’t really bothered by it?

He knows you can handle yourself and trusts your judge of characters unless he gets reallly off vibes about them

Like serial killer kinda vibes

Then he’s stepping In

If you do have a bad break up though he’s 100% taking you to egg that persons house

And the he takes you to a nice dinner while you both shit talk or if your not feeling up to that he gets ice cream and y’all watch your favourite happy movie

Whatever career you want to pursue you can bet that he will support you

He’s your biggest cheerleader and if it came to it he’d get Pompom’s to prove a point

If you don’t know where you wanna go that’s fine as well!

He doesn’t fucking know what he’s doing with his life either lol and he certainly doesn’t have a conventional job (that’s for sure)

He’s super happy if you begin experimenting with different styles especially if it’s something kinda alt, grunge or punk

Cause then you both can match and he can give you some of his old stuff he’d think you like

At this point in your life he’d be really happy if you share some of your favourite music with him

He has a lot of range and versatility in his playlists but he isn’t as up to date with modern music as he’d like to be

He’d probably really like Doja cat, tame impala, Lovejoy, and Mitski

God if you show him Mitski expect to one day find him crying whilst listening to it

If you ask him what’s wrong he’ll just say “it’s one of those days” (Me)

Speaking of which, this is the time where Jason actually opens up about why he has nightmares so often and why he hated Bruce

It’s definitely a bit jarring to hear about him being beaten to death and then revived

And you definitely get a bit upset that Bruce didn’t do anything to really get revenge on the joker

Though you know your view is biased from being Jason’s kid and watching him growing up have full on horrific nightmares that would make him wake up screaming

How his mom betrayed him as well

It’s a big thing for him to talk about since he usually prefers to not relive those memories in his mind

But he knows that you’d learn eventually and he’d prefer if it was from his mouth

For him to tell about his trauma when he felt that both of you were ready

You feel closer to him in heart

And you hug him like when he had found you all those years ago

And Jason finds himself content

Any concert you want to go to he’s probably tagging along since he enjoys those type of events

Even if it’s for a musician that isn’t his favourite

He finds any hobby you have or anything you wanna collect

Cause he wants you to be happy and even if he doesn’t get it per say seeing your smile makes him understand

If it’s something he also likes though then be prepared cause your sharing that collection with him

And you both are gonna geek out over shit

He still reads to you as a small tradition you’ve both continued since him taking you in

Just you snuggled beside him in a cocoon of blankets as he reads a book of your recommendation aloud

A vinyl playing on a low level in the background

That alone pushes him to never give up when on patrol

He has you to return to, he has someone who he cared for more than his own life

The only bit of normality he has in his life after being thrown into the bubbling green waters of the Lazarus pit. Coming back as a broken and lost man hellbent on revenge and lingering rage

And of fucking course it’s during one of these nights as he’s reading Carmila that Bruce and Dick decide to drop by

“What the?!- Jason who the hell’s that?!?”

“Do we lie orrr?” “Can’t lie to em kid, their like living lie detectors” “those don’t even properly work though, you can cheat them easily” “it was an analogy”

“Can still hear y-“

“Shut up dick”

“They know?”

“Yeah well…of course I’d tell my kid about you guys”

“I’m an uncle?!?. How long have you had them?!?, how?!”

“How old are they?”

“I’m right here you know, Stop talking as if I’m not you geezers”

Haha yeah….Bruce is having a crisis realizing he’s technically a grandpa now

Hurray

There are like 2000 things going on in his mind right now and he definitely needs a chair to sit down on

He’s still in his costume so his emotions aren’t really showing but you can definitely tell he’s not ok by how he’s leaning against the wall looking kinda faint

He happy but at the same time he’s kinda upset that Jason never told him

Like, you’ve had a kid for years and never told me, your dad?!?

Jason definitely needs to have a talk with him and explain his side of the situation (which you practically force the two of them to do)

He’s kinda akward around you but not in a bad way, moreso in the “so kiddo what do you kids like these days” kinda way

He’s missed out on countless years of your life and didn’t even know you existed up until now and now your suddenly revealed to be his grandkid

He has like years of birthdays, Christmas’s, Easter’s and every other fucking holidays to catch up on

He starring holes into you by accident and your dad has to lightly smack his arm to tell him to stop lol

He means well though and you know that

Meanwhile Dick is ecstatic cause he’s an uncle!!

He’s already ready to brag to everyone he knows about it and be like “pshh that cool but I’m now an uncle”

Bro’s sitting beside you and asking everything about your interests and achievements

It’s kinda sweet since he’s just nodding along adding “ooh’s” and “ahh’s” every once in awhile

It reminds you a bit of a golden retriever

But with that also comes the little devil on your shoulder tempting you to mess with him a bit

And you do so

“I have the best insults from here to metropolis”

“Want to prove that?”

“Sure. I bet you have so much ass hair that when you have diarrhea it comes out as filtered water”

They quickly learn you have Jason’s mouth if not worse

Wither you or Jason realize it or not your both alike in more ways than one

[vlrghoes]

What Once Was | Chapter One

author’s note: I edited and proof read this after coming back from the club so if you see something wrong don’t be afraid to point it out as I’m quite friendly anyway!

I still don’t know if I like this chapter but overall I’m just shy about sharing my work because I’m hyper judgmental of my own work but I still wanted to share this with you guys anyway.

The chapters after this will be set a few years after this (which will be clarified in the chapters)

I’m English so if anything is wrong in terms of America and the health practices please forgive me!

I’m literally yapping now but I do want to say that I can’t promise chapter two will come in under 2 weeks as I’ve just finished my law degree and landed my dream job (not related to my degree) and I start training next Sunday and it’s for 5 weeks, really intense and with exams almost every day and if I mess up I lose my job. (Not sure if it’s obvious what my job is but anyways.) Also it’s my birthday on Wednesday and I’m celebrating Thursday so less time to write!

cw/tw: death, pregnancy complications, heavy angst, references to mental health and body dysmorphia/body image issues

word count: 4370 (I never usually write more than 2k so this is weird for me)

tag list (ask to be added): @trippinsorrows @cyberdejos2 @maeb99 @southerngirl41 @callmekayd @trentybenty @tian-monique @rose-bliss (if your name isn’t in grey, it’s not letting me tag you but I’ll try in the comment section)

masterlist

“You’re choosing that stupid title over your family again.” Ayanna’s voice cracked, the finality of her words hanging in the air as Joe stood frozen, his guilt palpable and his resolve wavering. She had spent all day running around the house and decorating for their special day. She spent hours preparing a nice steak dinner for the two of them, however it had been left untouched, the wait quelling her appetite as she now only felt sick. The dress she picked out now felt too revealing, no longer complimenting her body. Suddenly it clung to all the wrong parts and accentuated her weight gain, making her feel like a whale instead. The candles in the house had melted to the point where the fire had flickered out and the playlist she had queued just sounded like white noise at this point. Nothing matters anymore because Joe is late, late home once again and Ayanna is reaching breaking point. She spent hours waiting for him after she prepared their dinner, but all the effort didn’t matter anymore because instead of romance, the air was filled with tension and dread. “You know they’re due any day now, Joe how could you do this to me, to us. How can you still be wrestling so soon to my due date?” She said, her voice filled with emotion as she tried to steady herself. She didn’t want to cry, she had cried so much this entire pregnancy and she felt miserable. Instead of having that pregnancy glow like Rihanna, she had the life sucked out of her and she just felt lifeless.

“Look baby, I'm sorry.” Joe began, trying to figure out mentally how to get himself out of the trouble he was in. It wasn’t his fault, the media day for Wrestlemania was meant to finish much earlier but they took longer to set up, in turn making Joe’s interview (which was last) late. He had intended to be home earlier but it just seemed like the universe had other plans.

“Don’t even bother” Ayanna sighed, playing with the ring on her finger which now felt like it weighed a tonne. When they first got together, he gave it to her as a promise he’d marry her and whilst he did deliver on that promise, since getting pregnant and no longer being able to join him on the road she wondered if it was worth it sometimes. It’s not that she didn’t love Joe, hell sometimes she thinks she loves him too much. However she now isn’t sure if he loved her more than that title. He used to be so romantic; he’d bring her flowers every single day no matter what, he’d take her on dates, even small ones that weren't as lavish and she loved it. But the more he climbed up the ranks of WWE, the less the romance was there. Then shortly after he became champion everything stopped. Their marriage hit the rocks as he was never home and he started to miss things such as birthdays and christmases, so to save their marriage Ayanna gave up everything and joined him on the road. It was all going great until her later stages of pregnancy which stopped her from travelling with him but the most important thing for Ayanna was that he never missed an anniversary.

Well that was until now.

“Do you even know what day it is?” Ayanna asked, her voice quiet as she watched his mind tick, the cogwheels visabilly spinning with his face scrunched up in confusion, dull eyes squinting until it all finally clicks and he looks at her horrified. “You know, as bad as you’ve been lately, I always used to say ‘at least he’d always remembered our anniversary’ but it seems I can’t even say that anymore.” She spits, her heart breaking as the words leave her mouth.

“Yana” he started, feeling dizzy as he watched her flinch, a look almost of disgust flashing within her eyes. The nickname didn’t bring the butterflies it used to bring anymore, instead it forced a swell of emotion that made her feel like she could spew her guts any second. She used to look at him in adoration, but as the years passed the glimmer in her eyes decreased daily until they were fully extinguished. “Baby things are going to change after wrestlemania, I promise. Just one more match, after this I promise I’ll ask Vince again for some time off, I’m sure he’ll give it to me this time.”

The both of them knew that he was telling her what he wanted her to hear, the same conversation being repeated so many times to the point where they felt like they were in limbo. The last time Joe had asked, Vince told him he couldn’t have time off as he was their top star and Joe simply didn’t ask again. He always seemed to lack a backbone in situations that require him having one, but is happy to have a backbone and be stubborn when he doesn't need to be. Ayanna was exhausted, carrying one baby is hard enough but of course Joe carried the twin gene so she was carrying two instead and it felt like they were draining the life from her body. “I just want you to be present Joe, I feel like a single mother despite being married.” She pleaded, her voice filled with desperation. No one ever mentioned how lonely pregnancy is. She had lost many friends as she couldn’t go out to the club or drink anymore which meant that she spent days on end staring at the four walls of her bedroom watching the time pass as she waited up for Joe to come home. She sighed, tears threatening to well in her eyes which made her mentally curse. Stupid baby hormones. “You made the same promise last time, I don’t think you understand that one day I may not be here. You’ve missed so much already and you will never get this time back.”

She waited for Joe to say something, anything that could save the situation and at some points she felt like he was. But he’d then swallow the words back with a bitter taste and instead just looked at her in defeat. Nothing could save Ayanna for the despair she felt and she felt stupid even having this conversation with him. Instead, she gives him one more look over, a silent plea to say something or do something but the window of time closes as soon as she opens and she ends up turning on her feet and going to bed. She kept her room door ajar, hoping he’d come and knock, give her the tight hugs he used to give her and shower her in kisses and apologies but it never happens.

Joseph himself didn’t know what to do. They had the fairytale romance all their friends envied when they were younger, he was the promising D1 football player and she was a shoe-in to be a future Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. They looked good together and spent years in their honeymoon phase, yet somehow as they grew older the fairytale had started to wear off. He looked around the room with a frown, his stomach twisting and his heart aching as he realised exactly how much effort she had put in for their anniversary dinner and in that moment he felt like a horrible person. He knew he needed to pack as he was leaving at 5AM to get a jet for Wrestlemania but a large part of him wanted to go and fix the situation. But he knew nothing could ever fix it. They promised each other that they’d never go to bed without resolving an argument but that promise got broken several times to the point of which it no longer had any weight. So instead, Joe went into the walk-in closet and packed his things, believing that there’s nothing he could do to fix the situation.

That night, for the first time in their marriage the couple slept in separate rooms. Joe in the guest room tossing and turning in his own guilt, whilst Ayanna tried her hardest to muffle her sobs in the pillow. Her tears soaked the case through and her heart shattered in the pieces.

The next morning, Ayanna woke with the worst headache. Her head was pounding so intensely it hurt to open her eyes, however she put it down to the fact she spent all night crying and didn’t sleep. She called out for Joe, hoping he’d be home still so they could make up after their argument and wish him luck tonight as no matter what she loved him and didn’t want to continue on with another argument. But as she made it to the guest room, she realised it was too late and he was already gone. Her heart splintered like fragile glass, and she wept until the well of her tears ran dry, leaving her hollow and desolate.

“Fix your face uce.” His cousin Joshua says with a nudge. Joe having a face like a slapped ass and a snappy attitude had become too common these days and the twins, Joe’s only confidants, knew exactly what was going on. They’d grown up with Joe and practically spent their whole lives with Ayanna through her association with Joe, meaning they had been privy to almost all of the couple’s relationship issues.

“He’s right, every day you walk around here with the face you used to have when my dad used to whoop us all for breaking the window with the football.” Jonathon adds on, a small chuckle escaping from his twin brother as the memory of that day flashes through him. The twins and Joseph had grown up together due to their parents living next door to one another. Rikishi, the twin’s father and Joe’s uncle would say the twins were a bad influence. However everyone who knew them knew that it was actually Joe, he always managed to get away from it all by snitching on the boys before they could save themselves. Which is what led to all of them getting chased with a broom stick as children after Joseph broke the window as they were all playing football, but instead of admitting it he blamed the twins whilst the twins blamed him so the punishment was collective.

“Are you fighting with Yana again?” Joshua asks, earning him a dirty look from both his twin brother and Joseph as the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. The two of them somehow manage to fight more than Joshua and his baby mother, and the pair of them were never even together, just a stupid one night stand.

The pair wait for Joseph to say something but it becomes more and more obvious that he has nothing to say, but the situation is clearly bothering him. Jonathan, the self-labelled “mature” one out of the twins, felt it was best to offer some advice, even if Joe didn’t ask. “Man, I don’t know what’s going on but I know you two have been together since you were both thirteen, whatever it is you’ll make it through it. You guys have always found a way.” The advice, albeit sweet, doesn't really make a difference for Joe. But thankfully he gets called for his press conference anyway so he doesn’t have to engage in the conversation further and he shifts from vulnerable ‘Joe’ to the formidable ‘Roman,’ like a Jekyll turning into Hyde, shedding his worries and fears to become the stoic, unyielding figure everyone dreads.

Joe never really cared for press conferences, however since he was the face of the company he was obligated to fulfil every duty in his contract. He was always used to giving the cookie cutter answers to the usual questions like “what are your expectations tonight?” and “how do you feel about your opponent?” However, he gets caught off guard when someone in the crowd asks "with the demands of your career, how do you balance your professional and personal life, especially with your wife expecting?" The question then places a pang of guilt in his stomach once more as he’s forced to remember their argument from last night. He really wanted to speak to her before he left but he didn’t want to wake her up and his flight was too early for him to stay. He took a thought and tried to compose an appropriate answer before taking a small breath.

“It’s a challenge, no doubt.” He began, slightly sounding defensive whilst making sure to try and make eye contact with the journalist in the crowd to make sure he appeared engaged in the topic. “But I’ve always believed that if you’re committed to something, you find a way to make it work. My family understands what this career means to me, and I make sure to be there for them as much as I can. After tonight, I’m looking forward to some quality time with them.” The words feeling hollow knowing his home life isn’t in a good place.

At home, Ayanna rubs her temples trying to quell the headache that has seemed to intensify from earlier on. She sits on the sofa, her head spinning from the pain when a sharp, twisting pain in her abdomen causes her to shift positions. “It can't be.” she mumbles, it was too early. The twins were not meant to be due yet, she had an entire plan for Joe’s mother to come down and stay in the guest room and help her for the last week of her pregnancy up until the babies hit six months, this can’t be happening. Her phone lay on the coffee table, just out of reach. She stared at it, debating whether to call Joseph or not. But he was probably in the middle of his press conference. She didn’t want to worry him—she could handle this.

She bided her time, until the pain suddenly intensified, radiating from her abdomen up to her chest. Ayanna’s breath hitched, panic creeping in as she realised something was seriously wrong. She forced herself to stand, but her legs buckled beneath her. The room spun, and she fell back onto the couch, gasping for air. She gave in and phoned Joe first, his phone going straight to voicemail as she thought before hanging up, her hands trembling as she dialled 911.“Please” she began with a gasp, struggling to even breathe, “I think something’s wrong I'm pregnant, and I—” Her voice broke off as another wave of pain hit her, harder this time as she screamed, the sound of her pained yells bouncing off the walls.

Joe, pleased with his answer to the first question, felt like he was in the clear and that would be it for the interview but then another question hit him. "There have been rumours that you were considering taking some time off after this match. Can you confirm or deny that?" The question made him feel hot under the collar, he didn’t want to give a definitive answer as Vince had already turned down his request and he didn’t want to put himself in a position that gets him in trouble. He hated it about himself and in a way he also hated Vince for putting him in this situation, however deep down he knew that he was at fault. No matter what, he was a coward and tried to avoid rocking the boat at work but all that has done is cause problems in his marriage.

He once again flashes that million dollar smile that he knew the ladies loved the most before positioning his answer. “Right now, I’m focused on tonight. Whatever comes after, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I’ve heard the rumours, but my priority is to go out there, put on a hell of a show, and take care of business. The rest will fall into place." He was cool and composed, everything a champion should be, however, the answer in itself was very evasive. It was as though he had mastered the art of saying much while revealing nothing, leaving everyone guessing what truly lay beneath.

Ayanna’s vision blurred as she tried to focus on the operator’s voice. “Stay with me, ma’am, help is on the way,” the voice said, but Ayanna could barely hear it over the pounding in her head. She doubled over in pain, clutching her stomach as the baby kicked wildly inside her. Her thoughts were a jumble of fear and regret. She should have told Joseph—should have insisted he stay home. But it was too late now. The darkness at the edges of her vision crept closer, and she knew she was running out of time

Joe looked at the crowd, wanting to go backstage and get ready for his match, a sigh of relief leaving his body as he’s told this is the last question of the conference. "Any plans to celebrate after the match, or will you be rushing home to be with your family?”

Joe smiled, the question feeling so bittersweet as he’d love to have Ayanna in the crowd like she usually is tonight, but that isn’t the case. "We’ll see how the night goes. My family’s always been my anchor, so I’ll be getting back to them as soon as I can. But first, I’ve got to take care of business in that ring."The reporters nodded, satisfied with his answer. Joseph glanced at the time—just a few more minutes, and he could get back to his routine. But he had no idea that his world was about to shatter.

Ayanna’s strength was fading fast. She clutched her phone, the operator’s voice a distant echo in her ears. “Hold on, ma’am, the paramedics are almost there,” but Ayanna’s world was already slipping away.

The last thing she felt was the sharp pain in her head, then—darkness.

The crowd was electric as Joe stepped into the ring, his face stoic as he played with his wrists to loosen them up. The glamour and feel of Wrestlemania never gets old, but he stayed focused, his mind locked in on the match and his eyes focused on his opponent. He couldn’t afford any distractions - not tonight.

The bell rang, and he moved with precision, every punch, every kick calculated. He could feel the weight of the championship on his shoulders, the expectations of the fans, the promise he had made to himself to be the best. Minutes felt like seconds as the match intensified, the crowd on their feet, chanting his name. With a final, devastating move, Joseph pinned his opponent to the mat. The referee’s hand slapped the canvas—one, two, three.

The crowd booed as Joseph was declared the winner, his arm raised in victory, gutted that their golden boy Cody Rhodes had lost the title. The championship belt was handed to him, and he held it high, basking in the glory of the moment. For a few seconds, everything was perfect. But beneath the cheers and jeers, he felt an uneasy feeling run through him, it was almost as if his body was trying to warn him that this victory came at a price—one that would haunt him long after the spotlight dimmed.

After the match he walked backstage, sweat dripping down his face but a victorious smile plastered on his lips. Fellow wrestlers patted him on the back, congratulating him on another win, another title defence. He had done it again—proven why he was the best. But it didn’t feel the same without Ayanna there to give him a kiss and tell him how proud she was of him. He longed to have her sweet floral scent dancing though his nose, he simply missed her and he was going to make it his mission to call her immediately and apologise and make it up to her. In fact, he was going to ask Vince again for time off or just go to Hunter and get him to explain to Vince.

As he headed toward his locker room, he saw Vince stood them with a solemn expression. His heart dropped, usually if Vince looks at you like that you’ve done a terrible job and you’re about to be pulled off TV. “Joe, we need to talk,” he said, his voice tight with urgency.”

Joseph frowned, still riding the high of his victory. “What’s up, Vince? I’ve got some celebrating to do and I need to call my wife.”

Vince hesitated, his face pale. “Joe, it’s Ayanna… She had a stroke during labour. She had tried to call you as she was going into labour but you were in the press conference.”

The words were like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of him. “What?” he whispered, his heart plummeting. “No… no, that can’t be right.” His mind scrambled to reject what he’d just heard, clinging to disbelief as though it could keep the truth at bay.

Vince’s eyes were filled with sorrow as he continued, “I haven’t heard anything else, however I would suggest that you take the jet and go to the hospital now. We will cover you in the post match press conference.” The championship belt slipped from Joseph’s grasp, hitting the floor with a dull thud. The noise of the backstage area faded into nothingness as Joseph stood frozen, disbelief and horror washing over him.

Joseph’s heart pounds as he bursts through the hospital doors, the sounds of WrestleMania’s victory still ringing in his ears. But as he’s confronted by the white walls of the ICU, his triumph feels meaningless, distant. Joseph’s hands trembled as he pushed through the hospital doors, his mind a whirl of fear and denial. He moved as if in a trance, barely registering the people around him as he demanded to be taken to Ayanna.

“Where’s Ayanna? Where are my kids?” he demands, his voice edged with panic.

The receptionist’s eyes flickered with sorrow, looking around in desperation as she did not want to be the one to be here when the news was broken to him. Luckily for her, the doctor steps forward. “Mr. Anoa’i, I’m so sorry. Your wife suffered a massive stroke shortly after going into labour. By the time she got here, there was nothing we could do to reverse the damage. Her brain activity ceased before we could save her.”

Joseph’s breath catches, his world starting to crumble. “What… what do you mean? Where is she? Can I see her?” His voice wavered, a desperate plea for a reality that was slipping through his fingers.

The doctor hesitates, his tone measured but heavy. “We had to make a decision quickly, Mr. Anoa’i. We kept her on life support long enough to deliver the twins via emergency C-section. It was the only way to save their lives.”

For a moment, Joseph just stares, unable to comprehend the words. “You… you kept her alive just to deliver the babies?” His voice is raw with disbelief and rising fury. He couldn’t believe what was being said to him, Ayanna being reduced to a baby making machine made him feel beyond sick. They could’ve had another baby, but he could never have another Ayanna. “She wasn’t just some fucking incubator! She was my wife! She is my wife, why didn’t you save her?!”

The doctor’s eyes hold steady, though full of sympathy. “She made that decision herself. Your wife signed an advanced directive, instructing us to prioritise the babies if anything went wrong. She knew the risks and chose this course.”

The words hit Joseph like a sledgehammer. Ayanna had known this could happen and made a decision without him—a decision that had ripped her from his life. Anger surged and then ebbed away, leaving a hollow ache where it had been. He had spent his life with her, and now, learning to live without her seemed an insurmountable challenge, a cruel twist of fate.

“Where are they?” he finally whispers, his voice barely audible, eyes vacant.

One of the nurses gently guides him to the room where the newborns lie in their incubators. They’re tiny, fragile, and perfect. But as Joseph looks at them, he’s overwhelmed not with the joy he expected but with a deep, unsettling mix of sorrow and resentment. They’re here, alive and breathing, but Ayanna is gone. She sacrificed herself for them, and Joseph can’t help but feel a stab of resentment toward these tiny beings who cost him everything. He stands over the incubators, his hands shaking as he touches the glass. The twins stir slightly, their small cries echoing in the sterile room, but all Joseph feels is an unbearable, suffocating grief—and an anger he can’t reconcile. Whilst he was angry at the world, he was also mad at himself. What sick bastard resents an innocent child? He thought, trying to force the feeling out of his heart, but it was no use. He just couldn't stop himself being filled with disgust when he looked at them, especially as they both look exactly like her. It felt like some cruel punishment from the universe for his wrongdoing.

Finally, he forces himself to pick up one of the babies, holding the child close to his chest. The warmth of his newborn is supposed to bring him comfort, but instead, it feels like a weight pressing down on him, reminding him of what he’s lost. Tears blur his vision as he collapses into a nearby chair, the sound of the twins’ cries filling his ears. But instead of the joy and love he once imagined, all Joseph can feel is a hollow emptiness and a dark, creeping resentment that only deepens his guilt. The nurse gently touched his shoulder, but Joseph barely noticed. He sank into a chair, the twins still wailing in his arms, as tears streamed down his face. The world had stopped making sense. He had won the match, but in doing so, had lost everything that truly mattered, as if triumph had come at the cost of his very soul.

[alphajocklover]

You have to help me! I've been trying to get free of this... place for a long LONG time. After some time I've been able to gain back some free will, but it's really hard. Right now, as my "physicall" me picked his phone at the gym between reps, I've been able to log on here and I saw what you published about the Retsam Mirror. You have to help me. I've been stuck in it for years. I was a nerd when i first fell by accident on the mirror and i got sucked in. I can't do this anymore. The new me is a honry bastard and he spends his time getting fucked in front of mirrors, a lot and a lot of them. My reflections are exponentials and i feel every single one of them. Oh fuck he just got a notification from HungDomTop11in. Help m................

A Retsam mirror. You found a Retsam mirror. Another Retsam mirror. For those of you who didn’t see my earlier post, a Retsam mirror is an incredibly rare magical artifact that lets a person switch places with their reflection, which essentially traps the person in their reflection and leaves a very suggestable copy in their place. It was weird enough to hear that one guy had encountered one of those that hadn’t already been shattered, but if what you’re telling me is true… then whoever trapped that poor guy has been trapping people in mirrors for much longer than we thought. I can only guess, and hope, that you were one of his earliest victims. I know you said you fell in but… if that was true then your other self wouldn’t have acted any differently than you. Someone had to have pushed you in, and then used your reflections malleable state to change them. I have to say, as horrified as I am by all of this… I’m also kind of impressed. Not with the jerk who's been trapping people, but with you. It takes a lot of willpower to keep your mind intact while in a reflection. Most people lose themselves in it, not having the ability to choose their movements but still feeling everything. Yet what’s even more impressive is the fact you were actually able to take back control for a bit. From what I’ve heard, that's supposed to be impossible. For you to do that… It's truly incredible. I’m just sorry that it might not be able to help save you.  As far as I know, there isn’t a way to get out of a Retsam mirror, at least not on your own. Either your reflection would have to willingly swap back, which seems unlikely, or the guy who pushed you in would have to switch you again, which seems even less likely. I’ve been looking into ways to help get people out of Retsam mirrors since I first heard they were back, but I haven’t found much yet. So I’m afraid that, for the time being, you’re stuck there.

Don’t give up hope though! You’ve managed to do more than anyone else in your position has. Not to mention, the information you’ve given me may be invaluable to figuring out how to save and protect people from Retsam mirrors. I’ve been messing with a spell that might allow me to use my own Retsam mirror to help people stuck in reflections, or at least communicate with them, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I know this entire situation is horrible, but the reporter in me has to admit it’s kind of fascinating. It’s incredibly rare you get to talk to someone who's been inside a reflection, so I had no idea you could feel what was happening inside each and every reflection, even if you were reflected in multiple mirrors at once. That must be very overwhelming, especially if your other self is hooking up in front of mirrors. Feeling yourself get fucked by a a potentionally infinite amount of cocks all at once… As hot as that sounds it must be really intense.

Here's just hoping your other self doesn’t take advantage of it too much. 

[it-came-from-an-orchard]

Wonderland! Bunnydoll

It's secret to nobody that @endomentendo Wonderland AU has been spreading the same way an invasive root does in a garden (Don't tell Queenie) What some might NOT know, is that the Bunnydollers have successfully bullied them with love and pretty art to make the ship part of their canon Heck, Ragatha's mood allignement change! I call that a major victory!

So to commemorate the change and because @kookies2000 has infected half of the burrow with the WonderBug, I present thee with a small little something.

Its not very good but I had fun. And I think that all Wonderland its about

Leaves fall, birds chirp.

Twigs snap, Branches shake.

The grass crumples, dirt and sand raises in the air. 

The sounds of idle laughter chimes in, carried by the hollow whistle of the wind. Empty steps mark the ground.

The sensible response is to shake your head, turn around, and go back from wherever you came from. 

The sensible and logical thought that pricks at the mind and tells you ‘There’s nobody there’. 

So stupid and wrong. 

Out of all the creatures in the forest to find, those that find you first are probably some of the worst, and by the very nature of their bodies, this one is the most dangerous of all, as they dont get found out if they don't wish to be. 

The laughter echoes around, and if you were to close your eyes— Well, you would be really stupid, because nobody should do that in a forest. Who knows where you could trip going around blind like that? 

But if despite better judgment, you still close your eyes, or at least, the one working eye, it's almost like if windchimes were all around the forest.

Such a pretty laugh.

How can people say Chesires are bad when they laugh like that? 

“Jax! I’m not supposed to wonder this deep in, you know that!” Little Pretty Red Locks and a smile, you are not angry or mad, yet you try “At least tell me what are we looking for!”

The empty, dusty steps wave off the dirt path, leaving purple prints instead as they go up the trunk of a mighty tree

“Seriously? I have to climb? In this dress?” Only mad people talk to themselves, so this really isn’t that weird of a sight, that is, if there was anyone else with Pretty Red Locks and a smile. “Mother is gonna be upset at me if I return to the party with tears on my dress…!” 

She could have chosen not to climb, stay down on the ground, but then the enchanting laughter knew she wouldn’t. Too many a year had passed, at least he thought so, since they first started to play this game. A Cat and a Mouse. 

Why would a little mouse be in pursuit of a cat, you ask? Probably to ask for some milk, or to share a cookie. 

But there is no cat or a mouse in sight, just Pretty Red Locks and a smile. 

Climbing trees is easy, it barely takes a breeze, yet the doll struggles getting around the branches, silly girl, your dress is on the way, Why did you ever think that was appropriate clothing to go tree climbing? Mad idea, indeed. 

Leaves fall, branches creak, and the laughter is no more. A low hum bouncing around the canopies of the trees. A nameless tune that has no lyrics, and even when it does, their meaning is meaningless. Still, Pretty Red Locks tries to sing it, no matter how many times she gets it wrong. What a crazy thing to try

“Are we there yet?” She huffs and puffs the lack of air in her lungs, settling in a big sturdy branch. Yeah, they were there. That’s as good as it could get “I know I’m not a kid anymore, but you could try and give me a hand still!”

“Now, why would I do that?” The voice of nobody speaks, much mirth and much mischief in the way they sound. Just like the laughter from before “You got yourself up here without my help! If you couldn’t, why try?” 

“You told me to follow you, then disappeared and got me here!” Still airless, still amused. Are you not afraid of being this high up? 

“If I disappeared, you got yourself here” Fight a disembodied voice about semantics, if you weren’t mad before, you will be after.

“Well, We’re here-- Or *I* am here now. So what's the surprise?” 

“What surprise?” 

“I’m not going to start that with you”

“Start what?” 

Laughter again, but it's not the voice of the nobody, Pretty Red Locks laughs. 

It’s a pretty laugh.

“The view is nice from up here” Again talking to herself, because there was no other voice to answer her “You always like to be somewhere high, don’t you?” Talking to oneself means nobody answers you, but Pretty Red Locks and a smile didn’t seem to be bothered by that, her lips splayed in a wide smile for the empty space right beside her on the branch “I guess it's part of your nature”

The hollow wind carries the small hum of a melody. Down below littles colorful dots dance around unhearable music. It wouldn’t be long now until they realized the missing person among them.

“Having fun on your regular birthday?” The voice of nobody spoke, though it was lacking a bit of that usual charm. Wonder where it had gone

“What other types of birthdays are there?” The doll only got silence as a response, right, she was answering a question with another question “Yes, it’s very fun. I’m glad you came by”

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the end of the world~!” 

Swinging her legs over the void of the fall, the doll swallowed the rest of the questions she wanted to ask, her conversation partner wasn’t in a responsive mood and talking to herself wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, even if she did it more often than most

“I’m gonna give you your gift now” The disembodied voice spoke and the doll felt her insides tickle as if full of loose flower petals

“Does that mean I can see you n-” Ragatha wanted to say something dumb, because she was about to answer a statement with a question. A dumb and also rude thing to do

Thankfully, she was saved from the embarrassment by a pressure over her mouth. Her lips. It felt… Warm. slightly moist, a bit fuzzy. 

Such an odd feeling

Not only was her mouth covered by something, Ragatha blinked once and she was sure something was holding the sides of her arms. It was firm yet kind, the way she always felt when dancing atop the roof of the castle, or balancing over the railing of the balconies or now, over at the top of the trees. 

She pursed her lips and that pressure moved. Ragatha realized now that she couldn’t quite breath with this strange block against her mouth, but just before she could start to worry about running out of air, the pressure left her mouth. The one around her arms remained.

Blinking once, twice. Ragatha notices her eyesight worsening. Just a second ago she could see the party below with perfect clarity, now everything seems to be warped and fuzzy. Like trying to see through an empty glass.

Something invisible in between. 

“Jax?” She called to the nothing around her. “Did you do something just now?” 

Pretty Red Locks got no answer from the empty air around her. She blinked again, the fuzziness went away, and so did the hold around her. 

She missed it already. 

The familiar humming of a distant tune came back, and while the sound bounced around, Ragatha’s gaze stood firmly ahead. The emptiness in front of her slowly filling up from the bottom up, stripes of purple and dark blue hues swirling, tangling and knotting among themselves. Forming limbs, a torso, a tail, ears and finally. 

Two big yellow eyes and a smile. 

“Happy regular birthday, Ragatha” The voice of nobody came from the mouth of this funny looking guy, but Ragatha already knew that. She have known this funny looking man for a long time now

“Happy not-birthday, Jax” She returned the gesture, smiling, not as widely but almost so as the man floating over nothing in front of her. 

“Oh! You remembered! How thoughtful!” The colourful man squinted his eyes slightly as his smile broadened even more, making most of his face “Anyway, Ready to go back?” He extended an open, gloved palm to the pretty doll with red locks and a smile, he was, admittedly, a bit surprised that she didn’t immediately take it.

“Jax, My aunt will freak out if she sees me ‘Floating’ down back to the party!” “Not let anyone see you, got ya!” Jax reached out and claimed Ragatha by the arm to himself, pulling her with him into the nothing void. 

Most people would freak out, scream, cry. To be so carelessly thrown into no ground at all, especially at such a height. 

Ragatha just giggled, barely holding on to Jax as they took step after step, moving slowly, closer to the ground. 

“Aren’t ya afraid to fall?” Jax held got tighter to her and she let go even more, slightly annoying. She should be holding onto him as if her life depended on it. What, was she mad or something?

“Are you going to let me fall?” Pretty Red Locks and the gall you had, trusting your life to a cheshire. 

“Not unless it’s funny” 

They eventually made it back to the ground and Jax lost himself in a puff of color. But Ragatha knew him to be close by. Call it a ‘Womanly intuition’. She just had a gift for this sort of thing. 

In truth, watching the scenery from up high and float back down with Jax was something she was really used to, she could quite understand what about that was supposed to be her gift. 

That feeling she got around her lips though…

She hoped she could ask Jax about it the next time they got to meet for tea. 

She enjoyed it very much

If only a feeling such as that one had a name.

[diorgirl444]

to all the greasers i’ve loved before - chapter 1.

warnings: bad writing (my first time writing a multiple part fic ), don’t let the picture of dallas fool you he barely features in this chapter i’m afraid, fem! curtis reader though it is never specified whether the reader is a bio daughter or adopted and so can be read as either, doesn’t follow book canon, 1060 words <3

you had always loved love. your parents were more than happy to recount stories of how you would wander around the house dressed in your nightdress with the lace curtain over your hair clutching onto a small posy of daisies and dandelions. you had called it playing weddings and it was your all-time favourite game.

this obsession with love trickled into other things with most of the cookies you baked being heart-shaped or being the only person to still give everyone, even the weird kids handmade valentines after it was deemed uncool at about thirteen. yes, you loved love but there was an important differentiation, you loved the idea of it. so you supposed it was natural that you began to write love letters the way some people wrote diary entries.

you kept them in a teal silk hatbox of your mothers which had long since lacked the hat intended to be in it. there was one letter for every boy you had liked at one time - five in total. Bryon from volunteering at the hospital, Johnny from freshman homecoming, Dallas from two summers ago, Randy from Model Un and Keith since forever. you supposed your letters were less i love you love letters and more goodbye love letters. they were a way of accepting the crush whilst also allowing yourself to let go and move on. that you could sing to the Ronettes and not be singing about him, that you could buy milkshakes at the diner and not wonder which flavour he’d choose. the letters set you free - at least they were supposed to…

Keith Jacobs was a friend of your brothers but you’d always been a bit in love with him. his mother moved to Tulsa all alone with one son and a baby girl just across the street from you and so your parents, lovely people that they were invited the Jacobs round for a fried chicken dinner. you made a peach cobbler for dessert and when Keith asked for seconds - you glowed with pride. by the time he’d finished his third helping you’d already decided what shade of white your wedding dress would be and from that day he was practically always at your house. there was time when it was the four of you, Daryl, Soda, Pony and Keith but then your parents died and it all changed.

Daryl had to grow up and then the other three all started hanging out later and getting into fights which was fine because you had Angela and Sylvia. well, you had Sylvia till the summer before high school. then suddenly over that summer, she started smoking cheap cigarettes and wearing tight jeans where you were still happy to read a silly romance novel and bake cookies. angie was more like Sylvia really but she was like a street dog who you’d given a treat to - loyal to a fault and kept coming back.

which leads you to where you are now, the last day before junior year and the house is packed. you and Daryl were determined to keep up the tradition of home-cooked meals, mainly for Ponyboy but if you were honest with yourself sometimes as you mashed the potatoes with the radio turned up you would close your eyes and pretend your parents were slow dancing behind you. it turned out that most of your brother's friends didn’t normally eat well so they would often come round too. privately you wish they wouldn’t, they were too loud to you with no manners and they didn’t wash their hands before they ate. but for Ponyboy, the baby of the family you put up with it. You break out of these thoughts when Two-bit speaks, because as you hate to remember he’s Two-bit now not Keith anymore.

“guess who scored themselves a girlfriend”

You choke on your broccoli as all the boys cheer and clap him on the back. your ears ring and you feel like you’re gonna be sick. quietly you whisper to Daryl.

“I don’t feel very well. I think it’s my monthlies - I’m gonna go to bed”

he nods ruffling your hair affectionately as if you're still five and not almost seventeen. you don’t mind - that’s Darry’s way - playing dad to you and your brothers.

“g’night kid I’ll bring you some hot cocoa up and one of those hot water bottles wrapped in a towel.”

as you retreat to your bedroom with tears stinging you hear a chorus of “goodnights” and “feel better soon” from all apart from Dallas. despite your pain you still have the energy to roll your eyes, god forbid Winston cares about someone other than himself for once.

once you clasp your box and retreat under the floral quilts that your mom made you finally allow the tears to fall as you reread the letters. you decide tomorrow you’ll draft a new letter for two-bit, an official goodbye to the foolish hope you’ve clung to for so long. You hear the click of the look, and hastily you shove the letters back into the hatbox and wipe any resounding tears. Pony perches on the edge of your bed holding out the hot cocoa and water bottle that Darry had promised you.

“sissy, you okay?”

you bite back a laugh when he calls you that, a name that he called you as a baby that just stuck. then you watch his eyes catch the hatbox with curiosity.

“what’s that?”

clutching the box to your chest you speak.

“nothing just an old hatbox of mom’s that I keep recipes in. I’ve been working on a new strawberry shortcake one.”

you lie easily knowing that since that’s Pony’s favourite dessert it’ll distract him. he grins widely at you and you are reminded how young he is like a stab in the gut.

“promise?”

he says holding his pinky finger out.

“promise baby, I’ll see you in the morning okay?”

standing up you say to him as you press a kiss to his forehead and place the box away in the top shelve of your wardrobe. he’s still at an age where he pretends that stuff grosses him out so he scowls childishly as he leaves the room. you slip into your white cotton nightgown and finally let sleep overtake you. you’ll deal with it all in the morning and yet in that weird stage between sleeping and awake, you swear you hear the door open once more…

hope you like it! xoxo, flo <3

@socgf @heart-shqped-box @jujuheartz13 @r0seb100d @cranberrv @anifever @notagreasernotasoc @honeysmoonn for now i’m just tagging all the people who expressed an interest but if you don’t wanna be tagged or wanna be added let me know <3

[theresstillgrowinghere]

I don’t often find I have much to say during chronic illness awareness months anymore. I’m tired. My words feel tired. I don’t feel like I have anything new to add. Sometimes I worry though that that in part comes from my having been in various digital chronic illness spaces for almost a decade. Of course it feels tired to me. There are things that rattle around my brain that feel so obvious and commonplace (and that have been said much more eloquently by others before me) but may still be worth expressing, just judging by the ways people in my life haven’t been able to understand

So for gastroparesis awareness month this year, there are a few things I want to note from my experiences (tw for food/eating, weight without numbers, medical trauma)

1) My relationship with food is so scarred and multifaceted. It is messy and thorny, conflicting and complicated

(I am scared of food. I miss food. I hate food. I want to eat so badly. I never want to think about eating again. Tell me in detail about how it tasted. I love food. Please don’t ask me to join you for a meal. I don’t want to miss the communal aspects of eating. I feel so disconnected and other and separate just because I don’t eat. Sometimes I do try to eat and it makes me sick. Don’t comment on it, please; it’s not helpful to scold or encourage - I feel shame either way)

2) There is no cure. There is only management. I think people understand this in theory more than actuality, because when I say this I mean please, please stop expecting any management option to be The Thing. Please don’t expect something to offer substantial improvement, even if it is a life-saving dramatic change. As I have tried to explain to people in my life, those types of interventions are often complicated and risky and, in our broken healthcare system, very difficult to access until the situation truly is dire and life-threatening. Which can mean that the body takes significant damage before getting there. Sometimes by the time you access the intervention, that damage is irreversible and the goal is just to stop further decline. It’s not making me better; it’s keeping me from getting worse. For some reason that’s difficult for people to understand

(But sometimes people do find what for them is The Thing or are The Things, and that’s an important piece of the whole picture. The problem is the persistence of unrealistic expectations among people around us)

3) My relationship with healthcare is vital but fraught and heavy. I rely on it tremendously just to stay alive. It is also my only in-person access to the world and to people, which is a weird kind of mindfuck. But I am also deeply afraid of it after so many years of trauma. I am terrified of hospitals and medical professionals. I’m sorry for the way that fear makes me irrational, makes me assume, makes me protect myself. I know so many medical professionals are so caring and kind, but it is very, very hard to go into a medical setting trusting that that will be the case

4) There are some things I wish truly were obvious. Like don’t comment on someone’s weight, ever. Don’t say you wish you could “have a little of that” to change your appearance. Don’t try to convince me to “just try to eat a little.” Trust that I know my body best. Don’t offer me unsolicited advice or recommendations. Don’t say “when you get to be my age…” because I will point out that, based on the amount of damage to my body already, it is very possible I will never reach your age. But more to the point, I am not too young to be this sick. It happens

Anyway, these are my 3am-notes-app, camped-out-on-the-bathroom-floor thoughts. It is also important to note that they exist in the context of my gastroparesis being born of and coexisting with my other chronic illnesses, and they all become so deeply entangled

Wishing everyone well. Hoping your August is kind and gentle

To everyone with gastroparesis (and other digestive disorders, really), I’m sorry your tummy hurts, and no, you actually don’t need to be very brave about it. As I heard someone say recently in a different context but definitely applies here as well, “We weren’t born to be fighters. I don’t want to be brave. I want to be okay.” I just want all of us to be okay

[ryuichirou]

I apologize if it is too personal but how do you deal with "antishipper" and the way they make callout posts and harassment campaigns against you ? It’s legitimately so scary and it makes me hesitant of posting my own art

Anon! I am very sorry you are going through this horrible feeling of hesitation and anxiety; knowing that people get targeted like that could not only stop you from posting, but stop you from creating altogether, and this is the worst part about this whole thing.

It’s not too personal, and I don’t mind talking about it at all. I’ve talked about our position and our relationship with fandom policing a bunch of times already, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself.

I used to be worried about posting certain stuff too. Well, when I was a teen/in my early 20s I wasn’t worried about anything: we had so much juicy stuff posted here lol But then the nsfw ban happened, and the social climate of this app and internet in general started shifting, the first stories about people driven to end their lives because of the hate they received started to come out, and we stopped posting completely. It wasn’t a huge loss to us back then, and this situation wasn’t the only reason why we stopped, but still, it clearly became much more difficult to just appear out of nowhere, throw problematic stuff in your blog and run away again.

I vividly remember us wanting to post my Shingeki no Kyojin drawings and comics based on our AUs and stuff, but not knowing what to do with Ereri – there was no way for us to be “unproblematic” (which was never a concern to us, we just didn’t want to get tons of hate lol) and still post Eren with a man twice his age. So we started posting them without a tag, starting with a drawing that wasn’t too shippy, and then miraculously the world didn’t end. That made us bolder, and we started to post them openly, and posted them for almost two years pretty regularly, alongside some of our other problematic ships + problematic themes. Of course we did get hate, we got a lot of hate while we were posting SnK stuff from all kinds of people, but what we also got a lot of people who found our content refreshing and interesting, even if it was weird and uncomfortable at times.

We weren’t the only people who shipped Ereri (let’s ignore my petty thoughts about the difference between Ereri and Rivaere for now), and we weren’t the only people in Twst fandom who liked Shroudcest, which is another ship that we were super hesitant about posting or even mentioning at first. But with all the hate around I was so certain the world was going to end the moment we post them, and that didn’t happen. The end of the world never happens, but what does happen is that people either get introduced to a fun new dynamic and get invested, or get happy that someone finally posts for the ship they were too afraid to post for. Somehow, when you see some other person being ballsy, you don’t feel as scared anymore – it happened to us with other people’s posts too. Yes, I still say this even though it spawns a bunch of callout posts and harassment, as it did with us. Were we cancelled? Yeah, somewhat. There’s so much you can say about an acc that states “problematic stuff, 18+”, right? I was super relieved and happy, actually, that a lot of people left/blocked us just because they’re the people I’d never want to interact with my art.

I’ve been yapping for a long time already lol so I’ll give you some pieces of advice instead… These are things that legitimately help us.

Surround yourself with people who support you – if not you personally, then at least your ideas (i.e. other proshippers). Luckily, nowadays it’s easier to find them… But also, having a friend who you can vent about these things to helps a lot! It’s cheesy but it’s a fact: when you’re not alone, it’s not as scary.

Always ignore comments/asks from antis and block them on sight, block anonymous asks too. Even if you really want to sass them, it’s much more effective to ignore them: when you give them attention, it invites more engagement from them.

Block people you get bad vibes from. Block those who like or comment bad takes or support harassment of others, block all of their alt accounts. It’s tedious and takes time, but it really helps to keep you hidden from them, at least to some degree. I look up Shroudcest sometimes just to block new people. They try to make fun of me for that, but who cares if it works? You can’t block everyone, but these people usually flock together and it’s usually just a bunch of friends, so taking several posts on these topics from people from the fandom and blocking everyone involved will obliterate the majority of harassers.

In terms of your safety, having multiple accounts in case you main one gets mass-reported helps + I would advice to keep irl stuff away from your fandom stuff just in case.

This is going to sound stupid, but please keep in mind that this isn’t about you. These people are very miserable and not very smart. Even if they try to paint you like a bad person, they don’t know anything about you, so don’t let their judgment affect how you feel about yourself. This is exactly what they want – to have power over you.

Stay strong and take care of yourself, i.e. lock your acc and/or take a break if you feel overwhelmed. Don’t worry, it will pass: it’s very rare for these clowns to keep focus on one person for a long period of time; they have like 5 different dramas per day. There are some absolutely batshit crazy rapid assholes who won’t leave an artist alone for years, but those are super rare and special cases altogether, I don’t think you need to be worried about those.

Keep in mind which fandom you want to do this with, btw. It’s usually okay for the most part, but if the fandom is just a bunch of kids, it’s more likely not worth it or deserves an empty account, at least. Twst is surprisingly good despite anything it might look like! Thanks to Yana being a shotacon and a creator of Kuroshitsuji, I guess. There are many great and supportive people in the twst fandom, it’s been a pleasure to be here, even though, once again, it’s the first fandom where I got a bunch of callout posts and nasty stuff in my ask (SnK fandom usually harassed me for other things).

TL;DR: it is scary, and you could easily get callout posts about yourself, but guess what, you also get to be yourself. Because realistically, callout posts can’t stop you from creating art. They want you to believe that they have power over you, but this isn’t true. Your life online won’t end after some random callout post – mine didn’t. They also don’t understand that each consequent callout post affects the person being called out even less. We do have a minor panic attack for the first hour or so, and it does involve more extra blocking, but mostly it just sours our mood for the day and drops our morale. I still draw, though, out of spite a little lol Oh, and do try to report these types of posts if you get them, there’s nothing wrong with that.

People had been persecuted for their art and ideas for centuries, so what happens now is really nothing new. Without diving into specifics, there are way worse things they could do than writing callouts, but they aren’t super likely to do those. Luckily.

Take care of yourself, but also please don’t doubt yourself; when it comes to your art being way too fun for lovers of censorship to handle, you’re in a very good company. I’m referring to all the artist and writers of this world btw and not just me and Katsu lol but us as well!

[affableramen]

Pantalone x Reader | Angst | Pantalone hates himself | Tipsy | No smut

ALCOHOL; MURDER MENTIONED; CURSING

☽

Pantalone is standing on the balcony drinking wine when you slowly approach him from behind the back. Your steps are silent and deliberate, as if you’re afraid to ruin the moment of his serenity.

“Just who do you think you are coming up behind a Harbinger announced…?” Pantalone’s voice trails off and his face becomes long at the sight of you. Anyone, but you. His gaze quickly examines you.

“You?”

He sounds like he can’t believe it. Perhaps he has drunk too much wine and is hallucinating.

“Why aren’t you enjoying the party? A big day for the Fatui as an organisation.”

“The parties are too loud. I dislike loud noises.” You reply nonchalantly, as a matter of fact.

“Ah, without a doubt Northland Bank is abundant on lavish decorum and excessive amount of… visitors. Everyone’s coming here to congratulate us.” He smirks, raising his glass full of wine to his lips. “Still, I’m not sure coming to me is the same as finding peace. Knowing that I engage in monologues here and there.”

There is a pause between the two of you. Yes - Pantalone is sure known for a habit of yapping, a sharp long tongue and ability to manipulate people’s emotions. You are aware, that’s for sure… Slowly approaching him closer and closer you finally appear to his right and place your hand on the balcony ledge.

“At least those monologues are interesting.”

“Really,” Pantalone says with a harsh, unlike him lowly tone, completely mocking your observation.

“You actually want to talk to me, or are you just being polite because of what I could do to you?”

He places his wine glass on the ledge near his hand.

“You’re so untrusting and wary. It might just scare people away. But I can understand that. I am familiar with the concept of keeping people at a long distance.”

“Oh, I happen to notice that. You have no friends, do you? I wouldn’t be surprised, given your detached demeanour and unapproachable look.”

“Said the coldest man in Snezhnaya.”

Pantalone swallowed your words, raising his chin up high.

He turned away, looking at the night sky - so peaceful and indigo.

“At school, others would always find me a bit weird. Seems like nothing’s changed since then.” He laughs bitterly but then freezes, realising how intimate the slipped words sound. “Pardon me, it must have been the wine.”

“No… Perfectly fine.” You grasp the desperate attempt to pretend like what he said was not personal at all.

But Pantalone seemed like accepting his defeat.

“I take pride in being the odd one, however”, he covered his embarrassment with quick words.

“No doubt about that”, you replied as quickly as him.

“I hope though that you are wholeheartedly alright with my talking.”

You see Pantalone’s hand slowly move over the ledge closer to your own. He follows your gaze, watching you look at the movement of his fingers. Your hand slowly moves in accordance to his, tracing the way on the ledge, your rings clinking. Pantalone moves slightly even closer, making your fingers finally interact. And then, you finally feel him cover your hand. A gesture so innocent, so unlike him.

The silence fallen onto the two of you becomes as much uncomfortable as thrilling. Not knowing whether you can suffer it anymore, you almost push the words out your throat:

“Talk economy to me.”

Pantalone gives your hand a light squeeze and sucks in the air loudly.

“You’re scaring me. You’re genuinely scaring me.”

“Why?”

In velvety tone, he mutters:

“Your presence… Your whole being… It feels… I don’t know what it feels like. And I hate not knowing something.”

“How come? A genius banker is afraid of something so innocent!?”

Pantalone scoffs, relaxing his tense hand, so tense that the veins were popping up.

“Innocent? There is nothing innocent about you. If you were innocent, you wouldn’t be listening to me. If you were innocent, you wouldn’t willingly come visit me. If you were innocent, you wouldn’t stay here and look at me like… this.”

“What instead do you want me to look at you like?”

He spurts the words out: “Like you’re fucking terrified of me. Like you cannot stand my mere fucking presence. Like you know damn better than chatting with me here, perfectly aware of me having so much power I could kill you and no one would investigate.”

“Is that truly what you want?”

“No. I want you to be here. I am enjoying this immensely, that out of all people you chose to engage in conversation with me.” The smirk on Pantalone’s face falters. “But I don’t know if I am worthy of it.”

He plants a soft kiss on the back of your hand and holds his lips there for a long while.

“That is for me to decide who I deem worthy.”

“You intrigue me. Do you think I can be good for you?”

“Don’t belittle yourself. Anyone but you, Pantalone.”

Pantalone leans closer to you, caging with his body. His arm snakes around your neck, slowly tracing the path down, like a snake running your back. You push yourself towards him, focusing on his lips. Pantalone almost opens his mouth, ready to respond to your attitude before the balcony door is thrown open. The both of you immediately step a good distance from each other.

“Hey, the cake is being served. Don’t miss the ceremony, you two lonely chatters.” Pantalone mutters a curse, annoyed at Childe rushing to ruin the moment so intolerably. He bites his lip to prevent from cursing out loud.

“Y/N, you didn’t even dance. Not much of a party lover are you?”

Silencing Tartaglia, Pantalone barks back.

“I wouldn’t call it is a lonely chat. You see I found someone to listen to me, unlike you, Tartaglia.”

“Good riddance, you’ll finally free me of your yapping?”

Pantalone shakes his head, ignoring the Eleventh.

“I don’t mind participating in the cake presentation.”

“Glad to hear that.”

Pantalone fixes his tie, still upset by having his moment with you ruined so audaciously. You walk out together.

“Pretend like you’re not bad-tempered.” You whisper to him.

“Me, bad-tempered? Absurd.”

“Your whole face is saying ‘Approach me and I’ll kill you’.”

“And I suppose you’re suddenly an expert at reading my moods, are you not?”

You feel him give your hand a tight squeeze.

[strniohoeee]

Parasite

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader♥️

Synopsis: Somethings wrong with Matt, and it’s scaring Y/N. When she figures out what’s wrong with him.Things take place that alter her life forever🩸

Warnings⚠️: THIS IS SMUTTTT. Vampire Matt, and uhhh some other vampire people can’t spoil anything though🖤. Just some vampire fucking, but nothing crazy🦇

Song for the imagine: Change(In the House of Flies)-Deftones

⚠️This is an 18+ story, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

Now you feel so alive

I’ve watched you change

It’s like you never had wings

Something was off with Matt lately he was hanging around with a sketchy crowd, and suddenly he wasn’t himself anymore. Chris and Nick had hung out with this crew too, but they didn’t act how Matt was acting.

He was honestly frightening. All I remember was Chris and Nick had gone away with these guys, and came back, and then Matt went away with them, but when he came back it just wasn't really right.

I would hang out with them, but then they would go through these weird phases of not really talking to me, or being seen. I tried to ignore it because maybe I was trying to make myself believe something was there when it truly wasn’t.

When I didn’t see them they were with those weird guys they were friends with. I honestly thought they were either doing or selling drugs, or maybe both. Whatever it was, I chose to stay out of the way of their life decisions; it wasn't really my business.

I only started to get truly concerned when Matt’s appearance changed. I mean all their appearances changed, but Matt….his was the most noticeable. Everyone noticed it, but never said anything to him about it….they were afraid?

He went from having soft cheeks, and warm blue eyes and heart warming smile to pale, with sunken cheekbones and icy sunken in dead eyes….the dead eyes scared me the most. They were so frightening often times I couldn’t look at him for too long

His personality changed as well; he went from bubbly and bright and talkative to quiet, mean and mysterious. The surrounding girls in our lives found it hot and mysterious. I found it out right, strange and weird….this wasn’t Matt.

I was really scared he was messing around with drugs or something because he completely changed, and it wasn’t for the best.

I hadn’t seen the triplets in a week as they ghosted me and went MIA to go be with those guys. I really wished they’d just stop honestly. I didn’t want to lose my friends over some weird people

I was currently sleeping, and I was having vivid dreams of Matt screaming and pleading for help, but I couldn’t see him in my dreams everything was just black

Suddenly Matt’s face appeared in my dreams with red eyes and a scary grin “WAKE UP” he yelled, and suddenly I jumped out of my sleep

“What the fuck” I said rubbing my eyes, and turning my lamp on that’s on my nightstand

As my eyes were adjusting to the light I looked down at my clock 3AM….chilling, unholy hour. I felt a presence in my room, but I chose to shake it off

“I know you feel me” I heard someone say, and my head snapped in the direction of the person. It was Matt sitting at my window sill

“Matt? How’d you get in here?” I asked rubbing my eyes again to make sure I was awake

“You should really lock your windows” he said deeply

“Matt, I'm on the second floor, how’d you get up here?” I asked getting frightened

“I told you, you should lock the windows” he said again standing up from the window sill

“You’re scaring me okay, I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but you’re not the same person I used to know” I said sitting up fully

“It took me a while to figure out what I am too” he said still sitting in the darkness, only the moonlight casting light against him

“What do you mean what you are?” I asked him

“You don’t know?” He asked tilting his head

“Whatever sick joke this is please stop it” I said getting annoyed

“This isn’t a joke…” he said to me

“Matt I’m scared, and if you say one more creepy thing I’m running out the door” I said to him

“Come on don’t be like that, I just want to talk to you” he said in a whisper

“Fuck this” I said and got up running to my door, but before I could open it Matt just appears behind me, and shuts the door

“Matt let me out” I said with my back still to him

“I can’t let that happen” he said sending chills down my spine

“I’ll hurt you” I said

“You can not hurt me” he said chuckling

I turned around to answer him, and when I did I wish I hadn’t. His eyes were no longer blue, but pitch black

“MATT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU” I said sinking under his arms and running back to my bed

“How do you not know?” He said looking over at me

“Because this is the real world, and I’m so fucking scared right now” I said shaking

“I’m not going to hurt you….” He said walking over to me

“You’ve been acting weird lately, you look different, you disappear and now your eyes are black” I said shaking my head at him

“Exactly…don’t you know what I am?” He said smirking at me

“This isn’t real” I said looking at him

“It is real, say it you know what I am” he said to me

“You’re not a vampire” I said scoffing at him

“I am….and it’s been two weeks since I’ve lasted tasted blood, and yours smells sweet” he said licking his lips

“This is bullshit this is not real” I said pinching myself to try and snap out of it

“We are vampires, and we want you to join us” he said sticking his hand out

“Join who?” I asked him

“Chris, Nick and I….it would be a shame if you didn’t” he said

“You’re not a fucking vampire, vampires are myths” I said pushing his hand away

“Not true” he said shaking his head

“Show me then” I said

He came over and sat next to me looking at me with his dark eyes, opening his mouth and letting his fangs come out

My eyes widened and my mouth got dry

“Real enough for you baby?” He asks tilting his head

“I….I don’t know how to feel” I said looking away

“You feel scared and….aroused?” He said raising his brow at me

“Get out of my head” I said trying to push the feeling away

“It’s hard your thoughts are screaming at me” he said

“What do you want from me?” I asked

“I want to turn you, and maybe fuck you too” he said brushing my hair out of my face

“I don’t know Matt” I said shaking my head

“Oh come on, you can always be with Chris and Nick and I, and you’ll be immortal…sounds stupid but I promise you’ll love it” he said

“And if I say no?” I asked

“I can hold out, but not for much longer” he said looking over my body

“You really want me to fuck you” he blurted out

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD” I said rolling my eyes at him

“I can’t….its literally screaming at me” he said

He pushed my hair over my shoulders, and leaned in kissing my neck

“Come on” he said ghosting his fangs over my neck

“Oh god” I sighed out

“No god here, just me” he said licking my neck

“OK ALRIGHT!” I said snapping out of it

“I’ll let you turn me, but we should fuck first” I said looking at him

“I like the way you think” he said looking at me darkly

He pulled me in by my neck immediately smashing our lips together in a heated make out session, teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance

Matt stood up removing his shirt and unbuckling his belt before coming back down and crashing his lips to mine

I had pulled away to remove my shirt, and scooting back onto my bed laying there in just my underwear

“Mmm so beautiful” he moaned out licking his lips as his eyes got darker

He slid his jeans off and came over to me on the bed crashing our lips together once again before kissing down my neck and to the valley of my breasts, allowing his fangs to skim over my skin

“Fuck Matt” I moaned out

“I know baby” he said against my skin causing me to squirm

He licked up the valley of my breasts till he got to my right breast taking the nipple into his mouth, and swirling his tongue around it

“Matt” I moaned out in a whisper

He went over to my left breast and did the same while rubbing his hands up my sides

He slowly started to kiss my my stomach down to my underwear before laying a kiss to my clothed pussy

“Fuck” I moaned out pulling his hair

This caused him to look up at me “ow” he said as his fangs descended

“Sorry baby” I said easing up on the pulling

“Be careful causing me pain…my fangs naturally come out that way” he said licking over his fangs with his tongue

“My bad” I said biting my lip

He removed my underwear, and grazed the inside of my thighs with his fangs

“So sweet” he said licking my thighs

“Matt please I need you” I said squirming beneath him

He leaned down immediately attaching his mouth to my cunt, licking and sucking at my clit

“shitttt” I moaned out bucking my hips forward

He pulled back allowing his fangs to graze over my cunt

“Matt….” I said getting scared

“Don’t worry baby I would never hurt you” he said looking up at me

He came back up to make out with me

“I need you now” he said pulling away

“Fuck me matt, please” I mewled out

He slid his boxers off, sliding his hand against my cunt to use my arousal as he jerked himself off

“So good to me” he said moaning and throwing his head back

He slowly brought his dick to my entrance sliding in slowly

“Fuckkk” we both moaned out at the sensation

Matt allowed me to adjust to his size before thrusting in out of me. Not too fast and not too slow

“Shit you feel so good” he panted into my ear

“Fuck baby” I said gripping onto his back scratching down

“Mmmm” he said allowing his fangs to come out from the pain

He kept pounding into me, all that could be heard was our heavy breathing and our skin smacking

I started to clench down on him feeling all too good

“Keep doing that baby I’m going to cum” he said as he thrusted into me harder

“Mmm Matt” I moaned out biting my lip slightly drawing blood

Matt’s head perked up, and his eyes got really dark, immediately licking my bottom lip

“Don’t tease me” he said moaning and breathing in through his nose

“I didn’t mean to” I said looking at him

Matt started to thrust into me harder, and he snaked his right hand down to my clit rubbing as he thrusted faster

“Shit I’m going to cum, keep doing that” I said bucking my hips again

He kept thrusting as he rubbed my clit harder and faster

“Shit shit shit” I moaned out letting my jaw fall slack

“Come on baby cum for me” he said letting his jaw fall too as he thrusted hard

“I’m cumming fuckkkk” I moaned out clenching down on Matt dick as I came. My back coming off the bed as my legs began to shake. Holding eye contact with Matt as my mouth fell slack, and I came

He helped me ride out my high before pulling out and stroking his own dick

“I’m gonna cum” he said stroking his dick faster

“Cum for me Matt” I said to him

And within two more strokes he came all over my lower stomach. Moaning my name, and holding eye contact as his eyes grew even darker

We both came down from our highs, and Matt cleaned me off. And then we got dressed. He laid down next to me

“I’m ready Matt” I said looking over at him

“You sure?” He asked looking at me

“Yes Matt I’m sure” I said to him giving him a smile

“I’m going to give you my blood first, and then I’m going to bite you. When I suck your blood you will start to die, but my blood will take over, and turn you. It won’t feel good, but slowly you’ll start to turn within a few hours” he said

“Whatever you have to do, do it” I said to him

He nodded his head, and sliced his two fingers with his fangs, bringing his fingers to my mouth allowing the blood to fall to my lips, and on my tongue

He then sunk his head down to my neck, and bit me

“OW” I kind of yelled out

Matt kept drinking my blood, and my vision was getting blurry as I felt myself slipping away. It all went dark, and then suddenly I woke up

“WHAT HAPPENED” I said shooting up

“You died, and then came back and then fell asleep” Matt said looking at me. His blue eyes coming back

“What time is it?” I asked him

“It’s 10am” he said smiling at me

“I slept for that long” I said shocked

“Well you were dead for a good portion of it” he said laughing

“I don’t want to hear that” I said and then suddenly grabbing my head

“FUCK” I yelled out

“This is the fun part, I’ll sit back and watch you” he said leaning against my wall

My head started to hurt so bad, and I felt sick. My vision going in and out as I saw all my memories flash through my mind

“Oh GOD” I yelled out gripping my head

I jumped out of the bed

“MAKE IT STOP” I said falling to my knees

“It’s almost over” Matt said

Suddenly I felt my fangs coming in, and my eyes twitching. I got up and ran to my bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. My fangs were coming down, and my eyes were black as I was changing

Suddenly it all stopped, and my fangs went away my eyes turned yellow, and suddenly back to my natural eye color

I walked out of the bathroom trying to catch my breath

“How do you feel?” He asked

“Hungry” I said with a blank stare

“We have some stuff to take care of, let’s get ready” he said smirking at me

The End

Aiii bitches how do we feel about vampire Matt. Personally I think it’s hot, but I got my own issues LMFOAOAOA. Hope yall enjoyed this 🖤🖤

-J💅🏽