#but that doesn’t make it any easier

[queenbeaver69]

I’m sorry about my airplane opinions!!!!

[rosicheeks]

i am a little worried about you Princess. are you ok?

[neon-danger]

It’s my best friends birthday tomorrow

[vanhelsingapologist]

Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.

They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.

They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.

Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.

On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.

[honeypleasejustkillme]

how i sleep knowing i have to wake up and suffer in this misery the next day

[alarrylarrie]

As a 1D stan it is just so frustrating how often nothing makes a single bit of sense.

[angelnumber27]

violently forcing myself to have better days

[cartsandhorses]

Those aus where the characters never meet but it’s hannigram and they just don’t have a reason to. Not that that would stop them but maybe Will was recommended a different psychiatrist or left the field entirely, dropped off the face of the earth. He would be the talk of psychiatric circles but Hannibal would never have a reason or opportunity to seek him out. Hear his name in passing and move on, never see his face and fall in love. And maybe they walk by each other but by the time they look back it’s too late. A brushing of shoulders Hannibal would find rude and that Will would go out of his way to avoid but didn’t. A scent that Hannibal inhales and can’t let go of (he wants to, it bothers him) but can’t trace its source because Will already walked away. But he had gone still. Just for a moment, uncertain of why…

They never do get an answer. Not this time. Perhaps they’ll both feel something missing, distantly and locked away.

It’s like outside forces divine intervention are keeping them apart.

[aviatrickss]

*takes a deep breath and leans in so close that my lips touch the microphone*

the tragedy of dick and jason’s relationship as brothers is not that they hated each other and then jason died, or that they were super close and then jason died. the tragedy is that dick did not know enough about jason to know how to mourn him. were they brothers? were they rivals? dick sure doesn’t know, and jason doesn’t either! but it’s fine bc they have plenty of time to figure that shit out, they don’t need to know each other right now bc there will be time to know each other later.

except.

[floatysparrowthing]

Sooooo I spent all day reading Nakahara’s poetry and then I got home and spent several more hours taking his poems apart stanza by stanza to, essentially, collage them into five poems that suit the Chuuya in my fic

Truly, hyperfixation at work right there.

I tweaked words here and there to suit my AU better, but most of it is from Nakahara’s poetry

This one, which I haven’t named yet, is Chuuya writing from the perspective of himself if Dazai successfully took his own life

(To be clear, Dazai isn’t going to die in my fic, it’s Chuuya going through the what if of it.)

I.

I’m quietly drinking;

remorse on remorse, and I feel unsettled.

Dark remorse, always lingering remorse.

Filled with stupid laughter, my past

soon became tearful darkness,

soon became deep-rooted fatigue.

My heart always sinking in mourning thoughts.

— Once lost, things never return.

II.

Well then, goodbye, you said,

unusually full of smiles, with something of a brassy glitter,

and then out you went by that door.

Gone at last, that boy,

I wonder what you’re doing now.

Gone at last, that boy,

I wonder if you’ll come back soon.

That smile somehow wasn’t the smile of a living person, you see.

III.

You knew you were going to die?

When you looked at the stars, you said laughing

that the stars would become you, only recently

Only recently, you said of your shoes, ‘these certainly aren’t mine.’

You trusted me completely, confided in me completely,

your heart was the color of an orange;

that tenderness did not overflow,

nor did it cringe away.

I forgot everything I was doing;

that time was the only time I savored.

You remembered trivial things down to the last detail.

Humanity, too,

was in the end just the color of an orange…?

IV.

A summer night’s star, even now

visible far off in the sky, even now.

Despite that, my truly desolate heart,

night after night, alone in an empty room,

thinking thoughtless thoughts, monotonous,

my humble heart’s duet…

Because I am used to this, I can endure;

since this loneliness is distressing, without

knowing, in a way accidentally,

come flowing tears, not the tears of love…

Then, in short, it’s a question of passion.

If I’m angry from the bottom of my heart, let me be angry!

Then my anger,

even before my ultimate aim,

I will never, never neglect it!

Society, as you indulge of gloomy filth;

do not wake me up again!

I now will try to endure solitude,

my arms already seem like useless things.

There’s something about the night sky,

something that makes me feel wretched.

[danielnelsen]

suffered through that whole fight with the forge monster thing and then got an achievement for killing it without using the forge 😭😭😭 i wasn’t trying to make the fight harder, i just forget you can do interesting things in this game

[breezysuffers]

it is taking so much self control to not press ‘see more’ rn

[ace-attorney-smash-or-pass]

[themarsbar]

.

[danrifics]

<3

[high-guardian-herbs]

So, this took longer than I expected because I kept changing the background and colors and all

Also, my finals are near so I’m going to disappear once again lol (pray for meeee)