#and he isn’t any happier and doesn’t realise what- who he is missing until they see each other again

[cartsandhorses]

Those aus where the characters never meet but it’s hannigram and they just don’t have a reason to. Not that that would stop them but maybe Will was recommended a different psychiatrist or left the field entirely, dropped off the face of the earth. He would be the talk of psychiatric circles but Hannibal would never have a reason or opportunity to seek him out. Hear his name in passing and move on, never see his face and fall in love. And maybe they walk by each other but by the time they look back it’s too late. A brushing of shoulders Hannibal would find rude and that Will would go out of his way to avoid but didn’t. A scent that Hannibal inhales and can’t let go of (he wants to, it bothers him) but can’t trace its source because Will already walked away. But he had gone still. Just for a moment, uncertain of why…

They never do get an answer. Not this time. Perhaps they’ll both feel something missing, distantly and locked away.

It’s like outside forces divine intervention are keeping them apart.

[seoksgrl]

happier than ever, 1. : knj namjoon x reader friends to strangers to lovers

tws: alcohol use, allusions to addiction and depression

m.list next

The envelope has sat untouched on Namjoon’s desk for over a week now, with no hope of being moved. 

When he got news of his high school reunion, Namjoon’s initial reaction was nausea, followed swiftly by guilt, and then he did what he does best and simply ignored it. It’s the easiest solution to the thoughts and memories that have taunted him in the back of his mind. Flashing by across the back of his eyelids before he shuts them away in a box, far far away where they only come out in the dead of night when he stares at his ceiling and files through all his past regrets. Then, he wakes up in the morning and carries on. 

It’s been twelve years since he left Yeocho, abandoning his life when his biological grandparents reached out to him, providing him with the best possible chance at a better life and moving him to Seoul. To go back home would be a mistake, he thinks. It would unravel everything, and most of all, it would leave him feeling worse than he would if he just didn’t go.

So that’s why he’s not going to. 

Namjoon has enough on his plate right now, juggling a thousand different responsibilities and problems bursting at the seams for his attention, and so he can’t imagine a trip down memory lane is going to help things. Even if there’s that small, yearning little part of him that misses every square inch of that quiet town, and the one person in it he is certain doesn’t want to see his face ever again. And all at once, the second the image of you comes into his mind, he forces it right back out again, like a blip of light in the night sky. He’s gotten pretty good at it too, he’s had over a decade of practice. 

Pulling his desk drawer open, Namjoon grabs the offending envelope distracting him from work, dropping it in and closing it with a slam that rings with finality. He can’t continue to stare at it on his desk, not when his grandfather is ill and his title might change from heir to owner a lot sooner than he had planned. 

It’s not that Namjoon is afraid of becoming the heir to his family’s grand hotel chain, he’s been groomed for exactly that since he was eighteen. He just feels the natural nerves and worry of taking on such a big responsibility - he knows that’s what it is, which is why he doesn’t overthink it. 

“Mr Kim,” Hana, his assistant, peeks round the open door, bright eyes full of naiveté and a youth Namjoon hasn’t felt in years, “your eleven o’clock is here,”

He nods, readying himself to battle with another investor who feels he isn’t being paid what he’s due. His grandfather has always been a formidable man, never taking shit from anyone, but Namjoon hasn’t quite managed to live up to that persona. He’s still a joker at heart, doesn’t take his life too seriously until he has to. 

And as he stands from the desk, casting a last look at the drawer in his desk, he walks off to the meeting realising with a heavy feeling in his chest that the time is coming around at an alarming speed. 

For the last two months, Namjoon’s grandfather has been in a coma, not quite willing to let go and meet his maker, as stubborn as he is. Instead, he has been sleeping, unmoving save for the times of day where the nurses come to turn him, preventing any onset of bed sores, giving him his daily baths and checking his vitals, regretting to inform Namjoon and his grandmother that there is no change.

Since the stroke, Namjoon has taken on the role of co-owner with his uncle, Soohyun. He can’t quite tell if his uncle resents having to take orders from his nephew, but Namjoon can only hope he will make the change over seamless when the inevitable day comes where he will sit before the board and officially take over as owner of Guilded House in Seoul, and it’s many other establishments dotted around Korea. 

For now, though, Namjoon sits in the private suite of the hospital room, reading one of the worn paperbacks he keeps in his bag in case he needs to take a moment to himself and escape reality for a while. It’s a coping mechanism Namjoon has adopted from being young, unsure of the world and distressed as he watched his mother struggle to make ends meet as she raised him alone. For the better part of his childhood, he only had books to keep him sane, and of course yo-

Namjoon’s eyes blink furiously as he focuses once more on the same sentence he’s been stuck on for the last fifteen minutes. He gives up, closing the book with a soft slap as the battered copy gets hidden away into the confines of his bag. 

The ongoing battle between staying present and being with his family in the city and taking one more - possibly final - chance to see the town he grew up in again has been waging a war inside of him all week, almost giving him permanent indigestion as the date of the reunion creeps closer. It’s not that he is afraid to go to the town, of course be spent his formative years there, playing on the pier or terrorising his favourite shop keeper while his mother worked in the back of the bakery. 

No, Namjoon isn’t afraid of all that, but he is terrified to see you again. His eyes drift out of the window of the hospital, the Seoul skyline hazy as the cool, October fog hangs over the city. For the umpteenth time this week, Namjoon finds himself sliding his wallet out from the pocket of his slacks, flipping open the expensive letter to tug out the photo he has kept inside it since it was gifted to him as a teen, alone and confused in a big city hoping to bring with him a piece of him. 

The photo of you is yellowed at the edges now, over a decade of being tucked into and pulled out of the same wallet having discoloured the polaroid boarder. Namjoon’s thumb absentmindedly brushes the surface of the picture, right over your surprised smile as you reach out to him in the photo. You were laughing at him, he recalls, begging him not to take the picture - a typical artist, never wanting to be the subject, despite how beautiful of an art piece you were. His heart flips a little, assaulted by that same familiar weight that has pressed on his chest for all these years, his smile fading as he wonders what has become of you since he last saw you. 

You’re probably married now, a few kids littering your feet all born with the same paint-smudged fingers as you. It makes him a little breathless to imagine you leading this whole other life without him in it, and as his grandmother enters the room and his moment is shattered, he briefly realises that it’s how it was meant to be. 

The idea is easier to stomach when the reason for Namjoon’s current privileged lifestyle lays motionless in a hospital bed surrounded by beeping machines. No, it’s when he is alone in bed that it becomes harder to see that way. There are long minutes where he can’t come up with a single thing in his life that is worth not having you in it, but, as always, the thought is pushed back into the same little box he keeps everything else. Waiting for its moment to burst open and force him to acknowledge the things he has feared for the past twelve years.

“Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?” Namjoon’s grandmother bursts through his subconscious, her eyes on him when he lifts his head from where he had been staring into space, “You have been frozen for the last half hour,”

He has to admire the strength his grandmother showcases despite the fact her husband of almost sixty years lays unconscious in the hospital bed for the ninth week in a row. She has helped Namjoon focus, kept him grounded and dealt with the press surrounding his grandfather’s condition. 

Despite all this, the thoughts bugging him should remain just that - thoughts. Or at least that is what he has decided. He had slowly begun considering returning to his hometown, if only to say goodbye once and for all, but he can’t quite bring himself to leave his grandmother all alone while she says a long, painful goodbye to her husband. 

“Please put yourself out of your misery and just tell me what’s wrong, Namjoon,”

Her voice is stern, not in the way that makes Namjoon feel as if he is being scolded, just in that typical way she has always spoken, strong, confident and not willing to take any shit from anyone. 

“It’s nothing really, it doesn’t even matter,” He glances over at her again, wincing at her raised brows indicating she isn’t going to let this go, “I just. Well there is a reunion, back in Yeocho. A school reunion thing, they’re honouring me as one of their ‘successful graduates’,” 

Whatever that means, Namjoon had thought when he saw the letter. There are probably many other students who built lives from themselves instead of being handed the keys to the city simply by birth. 

“Then you should go,” His grandmother says, returning her gaze to the newspaper in her hands as if the conversation is done, just like that, but Namjoon sputters, unsure how to process it all and wholly unhappy with the idea of abandoning his family, “Namjoon, you haven’t been back since you were a boy,” she fires a look at him, a serious one that has something in his spine tightening, inspiring him to straighten his posture, “You have big responsibilities ahead of you. There won’t be any time to reminisce once you are running the hotel. It is best you take advantage of this now while you can, your grandfather will go when he is ready and not a moment sooner,” 

She notes this with a wry, sad smile to her husband, “Once the time comes, you will know. But until then, relax and prepare for what is ahead,”

“You’re sure?” He asks, knowing his grandmother can handle anything, but still feeling that sharp tug of duty urging him to forget about Yeocho and stay where he is needed. But she gives him a nod, showing him without words that he isn’t needed. At least, not yet. 

There’s a weight that seems to rise from his shoulders, though it is soon replaced with the cold reminder of all that awaits him back in his hometown. And, more importantly, who he left behind. 

The reunion is being held at the old town hall, in the middle of renovations, something Namjoon found out once he landed in Yeocho, the tiny spec of a town located in the lower regions of Korea. After spending the last decade in Seoul, Namjoon can feel how small his hometown is now that he is here, almost feeling claustrophobic when it takes him a mere two minutes to cross the centre of town in the cab he booked from the airport. 

The back of his neck tingles, an odd prickle as he passes old stores and cafés, remembering the good food he grew up eating, the kimchi made fresh by the hands of the grandma’s that would sit in the street and watch the world go bye, gossiping and laughing. It all rushes back to him as he sits in the back seat on the way to the small bed and breakfast he plans to stay in, watching as the old buildings on the outskirts of the town centre morph into suburban homes spread few and far between. He almost wonders if the cab is taking him back on the freeway when it makes a sharp turn, pulling into the parking lot of a small home with peeling paint and a boarded up window. 

He doesn’t remember the little hotel being here, not that he ever ventured this far out of town, but he almost feels bad when he notes the sign on the window, claiming to have four out of five rooms vacant. He can only assume he is the only guest. 

“Kim Namjoon, well I never,”

He turns on his heel, the voice accosting him from the side of the bed and breakfast, a man in a sunhat and gardening gloves leaning against the wall with a grin. His face has details that seem familiar to Namjoon, something about the man’s cocked brow and dimples similar to his own. 

“Jooheon?”

The man grins wider then, pleased it seems to have been recognised, and Namjoon feels oddly apologetic that it took him so long to remember the name of his former classmate.

“The very same,” He brushes his hands on his shirt, also stained with dirt, whipping off a glove so he can take Namjoon’s hand in his, “I have to say, I didn’t expect you to actually show up. We thought maybe you’re too much of a big-shot for us now,”

Though the younger man winks, his words playful, Namjoon can’t help the prick of unease at the implication, though he hasn’t done anything to prove otherwise. The reminder makes him feel a little pale. 

“I had to come and see my hometown,” Namjoon nods towards Jooheon, “and my old classmates, of course,”

He can’t help but itch to ask about you even as the man fills him in on all he has done since Namjoon left town. He almost wants to look around, both wishing for and dreading the moment you creep up on him and tell him what an ass he is for being gone so long. 

Jooheon updates Namjoon on his own life; his marriage to childhood sweetheart Mina, the birth of their two kids Iseul and Aecha, his new managerial position at the bed and breakfast Lunar Hotel. He is happy to learn of his classmate’s successes in life, even if he is afraid to voice his own, being that while Jooheon worked to gain the life he has, Namjoon didn’t. It’s something he finds himself more and more insecure about as his time in Yeocho passes. 

“So,” Jooheon asks, crossing his arms over his chest, a curious light in his eyes, “what about you? Wife, kids?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Namjoon laughs awkwardly, “No, none of that for me just yet. I’ve been focusing more on…work,”

The younger man nods, seemingly understanding but Namjoon can tell he is still eager to learn more about his seemingly exciting life in the city of Seoul. Of course, he can understand it, knowing how it looked when he got whisked away before he could really say goodbye or tell anyone, driven away in an expensive-looking black car. But, he finds himself wishing he could make everyone forget about where he has come form, hating the attention and the notoriety as the “successful graduate of 2012.”

Jooheon must sense the tension, laughing it off with a wave of his hand, “Well, if you’re hoping to find a wife here you’ll be out of luck,” something in Namjoon’s stomach drops, like a hammer at the fairground, and he finds himself hanging on Jooheon’s next words, “there are only about two single women left in Yeocho,”

He wants to ask, is dying to ask really, if you are one of them. Or if you have the life Namjoon always pictured for you - a happy family, good career. Maybe you’re not even in Yeocho anymore, after all, you had always spoken of moving to Busan or Jeju and living near the sea. Maybe you have done that, with a husband supporting your every wish. 

He hopes that is true, he really does. Even as his stomach rolls a few times before he can force out a friendly laugh at Jooheon’s jokey statement. 

Namjoon has been in town for roughly eight hours and already he feels out of place. Since he arrived at the reunion, all manner of people have approached him, from the local newspaper to the host of the local radio station, to girls he knew back in high school who have no shame in flirting with him even as their husbands huddle in a corner staring at Namjoon from across the large function room. 

He can’t remember this many people attending Yeocho High School, but they all insist that Namjoon talks with them and reminisces about things he is not even sure he took part in. Frankly, he feels as if he should leave, that is until he is called up to the small uneven stage at the front of the room, his former classmates clapping as he hesitantly approaches, watching out in the crowd for one person in particular. 

He hasn’t seen you yet, or Seokjin, the only person he assumes you might be with being that the two of you were still dating when he left. Your romance with Seokjin stood the test of middle school and high school, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility for Namjoon to assume you may have gotten hitched after graduation. 

But, as he gives a brief, awkward speech as he accepts an honourary plaque that he certainly does not deserve, he can’t seem to catch a glimpse of you in the crowd. There is a moment of hope, however, when he spots Seokjin as he is descending from the stage, politely pushing through his over-friendly classmates to get to the one person who might know where you are. 

He at least wants to see you before his flight tomorrow, he knows he will regret it if he doesn’t. 

When he gets to where Seokjin stands at the bar, Namjoon is rather perplexed to find him holding hands with someone else. The woman is familiar, sure, but she is certainly not you, and Namjoon isn’t sure why this simple fact has a flame of annoyance curling in the pit of his stomach. Nevertheless, he approaches the older man, tapping him on the shoulder and waiting for him to turn, oddly satisfied when his eyes flare in surprise.

“Namjoon,” He exhales a laugh, his body still tense despite the easy smile he has fixed on his features. Something is off, and Namjoon feels as if he’s not going to like what he finds once he gets to the bottom of it, “I didn’t think you would come,”

“Neither did I,” The younger man’s eyes flick towards the woman at Seokjin’s side and after a beat, Namjoon recalls who she is. Yeji, your friend from middle school. She smiles at him, polite and a little guilty if he is not mistaken. He lets his eyes swing back to the older man, confusion knitting his brow, “Where is Y/N?”

Seokjin swallows, and right there is when Namjoon knows that something has gone horribly wrong in the time he has spent away. He can’t pinpoint what it is exactly about the look Seokjin and Yeji share, but it makes him feel hollow.

“I guess you haven’t heard,” He clears his throat, “Y/N and I broke up, a while ago now. I’m afraid I haven’t seen her tonight,”

Namjoon nods jerkily, turning back to Yeji with a tick in his jaw, “Have you seen her?”

She shakes her head, eyes wide and lips downturned. He feels a panic grip him, but he isn’t sure why. A break up isn’t exactly reason for him to be so worried about you, but the looks on their faces, as if Namjoon had brought up a ghost, makes him feel ill. 

“Namjoon -“ Seokjin begins, pausing as if he’s not sure how to speak about you anymore. What the fuck happened? You two were in love when he left. “Y/N hasn’t been doing well, I think it might be good for her to see you,” 

There, that is what Namjoon had been afraid to hear. Instantly there is a trickle of ice running down his spine, a foreboding sense of doom that he can’t quite seem to shake along with the anger that is, possibly wrongly, directed at the two people you loved most, aside from him. There’s more to the story, Namjoon thinks, and he needs to know every detail before his own thoughts render him immobile with paralysing fear of what has happened to you. 

“What do you mean she hasn’t been doing well?” 

“W-,” Seokjin almost looks afraid, scared to go into it, but Namjoon knows that feeling well enough to label it as guilt, “For starters, I guess, our - ah,” he glances at Yeji, “our relationship wasn’t…well received,”

“How so?” Namjoon’s fists are clenched by his sides now, anxiety ripping apart the contents of his chest and he feels like if he doesn’t get some straight answers from this guy soon, he might commit an act of violence, “If Y/N knew you two wanted to be together, she wouldn’t step in your way. That’s the kind of person she is,”

Yeji looks to the ground, Seokjin almost does the same, swallowing and removing his gaze from Namjoon before it returns, and he has the answer right fucking there. 

“You cheated on her,” Namjoon can barely see through the haze of red that mists his vision, and maybe he’s a hypocrite for being so pissed off at this guy for hurting you, but he can’t think beyond the idea of you being alone and heartbroken while these two swanned around the town holding hands and shoving it in your face.

Seokjin pales for a moment, possibly seeing the unadulterated fury etching Namjoon’s features, his words flustered as he rushes to explain himself, “We didn’t mean for it to happen, it’s just by the time the wedding rolled around -”

“There was a wedding!?” His voice raises a few octaves and he is beginning to attract a crowd, but he can’t bring himself to care, “You were gonna marry her and instead you fucked her best friend?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Yeji says in a small voice, avoiding Namjoon’s glare.

He scoffs at her defence, eyes darting between the two like he can’t quite believe what he’s looking at, “Well I doubt you came clean beforehand,”

They don’t have a response to that, and Namjoon doesn’t want to waste another minute listening to the two of them trying to justify their selfish actions towards you. He knows he’s being an ass, after all he left you all those years ago with barely any notice, failing to keep up communication until the line went dead, the two of you having gone so long without speaking that picking up the phone felt like an admittance of guilt on Namjoon’s part. But he needs to see you now, needs to find out what Seokjin meant when he said you weren’t doing well. 

Without waiting, Namjoon strides through the function room, ignoring the eager faces of the people he once knew and focusing instead on the one person he came here to see, awkwardness be damned. He will take all you have to throw at him, twelve years worth of pain and hurt if it means he can see you and make sure you’re okay. 

It’s two hours of looking later before Namjoon gets to the pier, wondering to himself why he didn’t check here first. After no answer at your mom’s house, and no address for your new apartment, if you have one, he had no choice but to search all the places he knows you would go to in times of crisis. And, for the both of you, the pier was one of them.

His phone acts as a flashlight, the lamps along the beaten path either left to decay or switched off due to the time of night and the numerous signs urging people to avoid night swimming in the lake. Not that the two of you ever paid attention to them as youths. He steps over tree roots that have burst from the earth over time, pushing through the overgrown leaves on either side of the path, almost able to see the moon shining off the water through the edge of the trees, his steps slowing as a gap reveals the entire pier to him, cloaked in darkness with one small, huddled figure perched on the edge. 

His heart thumps wildly in his chest, anxiety at you being so near the water in the dark and nerves at seeing you again after so long. From this distance, he can just make out the ponytail your hair is wrapped up into, the fact you’re not wearing a jacket and what appears to be a glass bottle at your side. 

Namjoon’s heart freezes for a moment, knowing that alcohol and deep water don’t mix. His feet hurry faster, his leather shoes no doubt splattered with mud from the boggy bank that surrounds the water, but he pushes on, long limbs clambering over the little wooden fence to finally reach the beginning of the pier. 

The wood creaks under his weight and he wonders if anyone even goes here anymore, anyone but you. Perhaps after he left, you came here alone, as you have tonight. Or maybe he’s just gotten lucky finding you here. 

For a few moments, you don’t seem to react to the sound of him approaching you, the wooden slats of the pier hardly making his entrance stealthy, but you don’t turn. Instead, Namjoon’s only sign that you’ve heard him at all is the way your hand stills as you bring the bottle to your lips, pausing for just a moment before you knock back a gulp. The smell of the liquor is oddly pungent, and Namjoon worries that this isn’t your first drink of the night. The bottle is almost three quarters of the way gone, and from the way you’re sitting here in the dark, he has no doubt you’ve tackled it alone. 

“The great wanderer returns,” Is the first thing you say to him after twelve years, your voice slurring a little around the words, and still you don’t turn to face him. Instead, you grip the bottle by the neck again, lifting it back up to your lips and hissing after another swallow, “Yeocho is so lucky to have you back with us,”

Namjoon bristles a little at your cold tone, but he doesn’t approach you just yet, treating you a little like a wild animal that might bolt if he gets too close. 

“How did you know it was me?”

“Nobody here wears that expensive cologne,” You sniff, and Namjoon realises with a sharp squeeze in his chest that you’re crying, “I made an educated guess,”

He takes another step closer, relieved when you don’t move away from him. Instead you just keep drinking, and drinking, so much so that it makes Namjoon more nervous than it would if you were standing at the mouth of a volcano. He can’t stomach seeing you like this, so different from the girl he grew up with, from the best friend he’s spent the last decade missing in secret. 

The bottle is nearly empty when Namjoon stands behind you, his hands in the pockets of his slacks, “Can I sit here?”

Your hand waves at him in an uncoordinated gesture, your voice barely above a mumble when you reply, “Go ahead, I won’t stop you,”

He eases himself down beside you, his eyes watching over the ripples in the water before he does what he has been waiting to do, turning and looking at you. He’s not surprise to find that you’re barely any different to when he left, a little thinner maybe, your eyes swollen from crying and a little glassy from the alcohol. You don’t look at him, almost as if you don’t really notice him there. He wants to reach out and brush the hair thats whipping across your face, but he won’t push you too far too fast. He knows he has some apologising to do, has to build your trust again. 

How are you gonna do that when you leave tomorrow morning? The voice in his head reminds him cruelly, but he decides to focus on the here and now, hardly able to stomach the thought of leaving you like this. 

“How was the reunion?” Your throat is a little scratchy, hand tugging the bottle close to your chest as if it comforts you, something that troubles Namjoon, “I bet you’ll be relieved to get on your fancy private jet back to the big city,”

He doesn’t answer, instead frowning as he looks down at the bottle, an idea coming to mind, “Can I get some of that?”

For a moment, you tense, and it confirms the words for Namjoon, watching as your grip tightens on the bottle for just a sec as if you’re reluctant to give it up. Then, you turn, eyes downcast as if you can’t look at him, handing him the bottle with a shrug that’s off balance.

“Knock yourself out,” 

His fingers wrap around the cold glass, wondering just how long you’ve been out here. It’s October, the humidity during the day makes it bearable, but the nights are cold, and you’re not even wearing a sweater over the thin t-shirt you’ve got on. 

Casting a long look at the bottle in his hand, knowing the damage is already done now you’ve drunk most of it, but he still hates the damn thing, “Thanks,” he says, waiting only a single heartbeat before he reels back, tossing the bottle into the lake and watching it bob a few times before it sinks below the inky water. 

There’s little reaction from you, aside from a sharp exhale from your nose, as if you’re trying to laugh but are physically unable to, “I don’t think the Yeocho environmental board will be happy to hear you’re littering,”

He almost laughs, almost feels something light ease the weight on his chest at the sound of your old snarky humour filtering through the dark mask over your face, but he doesn’t. He simply shrugs, looking back out to the lake, “Littering isn’t usually my style, but,” he turns back to you then, surprised to find you looking at him, features guarded but there’s still that little peek of vulnerability that winks at him from behind your eyes, loosened from the alcohol. He swallows, unprepared for the effect your full attention has on him after all this time, looking down at his hands instead like the coward he is, “I’m worried about you,”

There’s a long silence after he speaks, just the sound of crickets chirping in the dark and the soft brush of the waves against the pier. He’s not sure how he expects you to react to his return, but he would take hours of you hurling insults at him over this empty, vacant expression on your face. 

When you do speak, it’s quiet, small as if you aren’t quite sure you should be saying this. As if you don’t want to be weak around him, but Namjoon gives you his undivided attention, eager to know everything that has led you here tonight, to the pier with a bottle of vodka for company. 

“Did you see them?”

He knows who you’re talking about the minute you say it, simply from the faraway look in your eye and the waver in your words, “Yeah, I did,”

A soft, brittle laugh passes through your lips, as if you haven’t made the sound in a while, “So I suppose you know the whole tragic tale, then,”

“I know some,” Namjoon says, voice soft, “but I want to hear the rest from you. If you’ll tell me,”

“It would take a lot longer than you would wanna be here, trust me,”

He shakes his head, trying to catch your eye but you won’t let him, screwing them shut for a moment before you look away, hiding your tears from him, “I’ll wait as long as it takes,”

“What about your private jet?” You scoff, and he lets himself smile a little then, happy to hear there’s still some fire left in you, that it hasn’t all dwindled to nothing but smoke and ash.

“It’ll wait,” He says, standing, “it’s my jet after all,”

When you glance up at him, his heart breaks a hundred times over, the unguarded look in your eye, as if you can’t bear the idea of him leaving. And he decides right there that whatever happens, he won’t be on that plane tomorrow morning. 

“Let me take you home,”

You swallow again, glancing out at the lake for a few quiet moments, so long Namjoon wonders if you heard him. But then, you stand with him, still a few inches shorter, nodding once, “Okay,”

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[in2thenewworld]

matchup for xio / 🫠 anon

loading your match! ପ( •̤ᴗ•̤ )੭ु⁾⁾.｡.:✽・ﾟ＋

your match is…

VERGIL!

As soon as you gave me free reign and I read a bit of your description, I put you two together immediately. (So happy that I get to write some DMC, it’s my all time fav 🤞)

Vergil is someone with a hard shell that takes a long time to crack. He’s not easily trusting and he’s very picky with his company. Thanks to your initially quiet nature, though, he takes a chance on you; he’s drawn to your mystery and you don’t overwhelm him in the way that some others might do.

Then you start to open up slowly. It’s as though your personality blossoms. Funnily enough, this is the point where he starts to see you as more than a friend. Getting to know you is steady and sweet, plus he finds your happier, more easy-going side to be endearing. Once you come out of your shell, it’s easier than you think to get him out of his. You might assume someone like Vergil would be annoyed by any sort of loud nature, but he’s already attached to you by this point, and he doesn’t find you obnoxious like some people he knows… Ahem, Dante. He finds himself missing your jokes more than anything when you aren’t around. You make his life so much less dull, it’s like night and day.

You won’t get to know that for a long while though. He pushes it out as much as he can until he cannot deny his feelings anymore, and then he goes through the phase of consciously hiding them from you. He might even avoid you until he realises that this could actually upset you, and that’s not what he wants at all. It’s hard to say who would confess first, but someone has to make the move eventually.

Speaking of Dante, you two very quickly become friends, down to that very same sense of humour. Dante will try and befriend anyone, in all fairness, but with you two it definitely sticks. He probably makes fun of Vergil when he’s not in the room, or he’ll tell you some embarrassing story about him from when they were kids. Oh, sibling love, what a thing.

You’d also get on with Nico and Kyrie! It might be a while before you cross paths, but those two will be your girls through thick and thin when they do. A friend of any of the Spardas is a friend of theirs. Girls day out? You betcha. Kyrie will back it up with the idea that Nero and Vergil need to get closer after so much time apart, just so you guys can all hang out more often.

Vergil isn’t afraid of confrontation. He much prefers to avoid it when unnecessary, not wanting to argue pathetically with people like children, but in much of his journey through life, it has simply been a need. Like a chore one has to get on with. Defending you isn’t a bother at all, though. It’s more this idea that because he’s grown so used to doing this by now, it’s a sixth sense. He will not let anyone do you any wrong. Many people are too intimidated by him to attempt it in the first place. If you so decide you can handle yourself though, he’ll step back as you wish.

Unfortunately, he’s not good at dealing with emotions. When it comes to his own, he blocks them out altogether, or tries to overcome them by physical means- aka, a fight. He’s spent his life searching for power in order to forget what it’s like to feel weak. He’ll still stay by your side though, for as long as you need him. Just tell him if you need anything at all, he’ll do his very best to oblige.

Vergil would absolutely love to see your photography and would share your passion for certain music genres. Vergil has an eye for some art forms- especially poetry, which has been a passion of his from a young age. It heals the emotional damage he’s got shoved down in his soul somewhere. There’s a reason why V was so reliant on it when Vergil split into two forms. It captures his feelings; his human side. He’d love to share that with you once he feels comfortable

Your colour scheme literally matches. Dante will probably call you both emo to make fun of you, but he means no harm. If anything, he’s the emo- haven’t you heard the music he listens to? Um, hello?

He appreciates that you can balance logic and feeling. Vergil often acts on impulse when emotions are high, despite his highly analytical nature. He tries to take note from you to not rush into things so much.

Vergil is also not too experienced in the department of relationships, so you don’t have to worry about that. You both just take things as they come, without feeling pressured to behave or move forward in a certain nature

Lastly, Vergil will be extremely loyal and devoted. He doesn’t give his heart to just anyone, so although it may take some time to earn, it’s a very worthy prize.

I hope you enjoyed this matchup! :D It came to me very naturally, super fun to write !!

[s1st3r]

How would the bad batch react to having a shy s/o?

Omigosh I squealed when I got this!!! I love these kind of asks! Thank you!!! I spent so long writing this, I haven't proof read it. 😬

Bad Batch Reacting to Shy Significant Other (s/o)

Tech

I feel like it's fanon that flirting goes right over Tech's head even when it's explicitly like "hey tech you're hot". And honestly, I see it. So with that in mind, it takes an even longer spell of mutual pining than usual before feelings are confessed and relationship is established. But to save you from that 100K word torture, we'll go for an established relationship here.

Tech finds his s/o's shy nature a really nice contrast to his loud abrasive brothers. It's honestly like a breath of fresh air to him. When he wants peace and quite, he always goes to his s/o.

Having said that, his s/o is also a fantastic listener, so sometimes he'll run up to them super excited and giddy with information. Unlike his brothers, his s/o has the time to listen.

Having a shy s/o also helps Tech develop much better social skills. He gets so much better at reading body language since sometimes his s/o is either too shy or too content to listen to his voice to interrupt him when they're tired or sick.

He doesn't really dot over his s/o but Tech definitely loves to just be in their presence.

The only time his s/o is really loud is when they're super proud. Tech will build something in record time that saves the team and his s/o would be like "YEAH! THAT'S MY MAN!" and plant a phat kiss on his lips in front of all his brothers. Both Tech and s/o immediately go silent and wide eyed as the adrenaline fades and his s/o realises they have an audience. Tech's face would glow a gorgeous red while his s/o smiles shyly at everyone as they laugh at their enthusiasm.

Hunter

Again with Hunter, and really all the boys I reckon, his s/o's shyness is a really sweet relief from the high volume he deals with on a regular basis.

What Hunter loves about his s/o, is they often express their love through just helping out and doing anything they can to make Hunter's job a little easier. There's a wordless exchange of just Hunter and his s/o looking after each other and loving each other through acts and service. Kind of like an "actions speak louder then words thing".

His s/o’s not quite so bold as to explicitly say how much they love him, and they're not always confident enough to initiate any physical affection, but Hunter knows. He knows what it means and it does not go unappreciated.

S/o's shy nature also seems to draw Omega's curiosity. Over time, it's actually Meg who ends up bringing Hunter's s/o out of their shell a little more which he finds so sweet. He loves that those two get along so well.

I think Hunter would also be a lot more protective over a shy s/o as well. He would also very quickly learn to be more gentle.

The moments in between chaotic missions when his s/o just plays with his hair gives Hunter life.

Wrecker

OH MY GOODNESS! He's Like So GeNtLe???

Sometimes he might tease his s/o a little "awww you're not gonna go all shy on me again are ya?!!". But he honestly thinks it's so cute.

Wrecker is a pretty giving guy, so I feel like he would always be showering his s/o with compliments but just never expecting them back.

Until one day his s/o does compliment him back and he just lights up and lets out a hoot of laughter as he picks them off their feet and squeezes them in a tight hug which makes his s/o giggle.

I kind of see him being as gentle with his s/o as he is with Omega.

He's always so encouraging. Whether his s/o wants to try new things like going out dancing or just stay in the Marauder and have a snuggled up holovid night, Wrecker is always onboard.

Now, usually Wrecker is quite loud but, whenever his s/o talks, he just goes so quiet. He loves the sound of his s/o's voice and doesn't want to miss it.

He also loves cuddles. Sometimes his s/o is too shy to ask, but when they just stand in front of his bunk silently, he knows it's a silent request for cuddles. He'll scoop them up and wrap them with love.

Echo

I think being the only reg in the bad batch would make Echo feel kind of lonely sometimes. He's different from the regs but also from tbb. So with that in mind, I think Echo would find great comfort and companionship in a s/o.

His shy s/o is such a good listener and becomes his confidant.

Echo's character has also given me shy vibes from time to time so I feel like there might be some similarities of character?

I think Echo is also quite good at reading people and emotion so often he just knows when his s/o is sad/tired/sick/etc. which is good since his s/o is sometimes too shy to divert any attention to themselves.

Echo often seems to put on a bit of a tough guy persona to fit in with the bad batch, but with his s/o, that all fades away. His s/o's genuine attitude encourages him to be himself again. Sometimes he'll act similar to how he was before the citadel.

He speaks softer and seems happier with his s/o.

I think both Echo and his s/o would also be quite reserved and shy with physical affection. Their relationship is probably predominately emotional. But every now and then, they share little kisses on the cheeks or a peck on the lips. And honestly? Echo couldn't ask for anything better.

Crosshair

Crosshair has always been more of an introvert, so being in a relationship was never going to be a smooth transition. I think at first Crosshair would find his s/o's shyness annoying. But their gentle demeanor would grow on him over time. (This is before they were together).

Eventually he'd find himself spending more and more time with his s/o, enjoying being in their presence as he writes reports or cleans his blaster. And before he knows it he's got this (kinda nice feeling?) weird feeling in his stomach and actually even stumbled over his words once when speaking to them.

Once they finally get together, I feel like (similar to Hunter) he would be super protective of his s/o too.

Crosshair also isn't much for words, so when he wants his s/o's attention he'll kind of like h o v e r . Which his s/o finds so cute.

Eventually though, he'll run out of patience if his s/o doesn't respond so he'll just start getting really snuggly and touchy until his s/o finally caves and gives him attention.

His expressions and voice are always softer towards his s/o. His brothers notice but know better than to bring it up.

~ Sister

[dangerouslyallaboutdraco]

Could you write a Draco Malfoy x Slytherin !Potter!reader. Y/N and Draco have been dating since first year but haven’t told anyone because people think she might be the only “good slytherin” and to prevent Harry from freaking out they stay quiet till the Quitage World Cup where she goes with Draco and his father and spent the summer with them rather than the weasles . Pansy and Blaise know about Y/N and Draco because the 4 of them became best friends through the years (and reader won’t be only friends with Harry’s friends) . Harry and Y/N get into an argument when they return to Hogwarts the summer of the Triwizard cup and how she’s a traitor (EVEN tho that’s her house) and a disgrace for being with him. So she accepted that and that he hates her so she spends the next year mainly with her house giving the trio the cold shoulder and when the war happened draco and his mother protected her and hid her so Harry was looking for her that time but she was gon so after the war the 4 (Draco Pansy and blasé) walk into the great hall and the golden trio see that Y/N is engaged to Draco and Harry just apologizes and they catch up after all those years.

The Potter Twins

A/n: This has got to be one of the best requests I've ever seen anyone answer. I'm so gratefully you asked me to write it!! Thank you. Also, I did use lines from the book just to make the story work. I could have probably written a whole series so this is very long, I'm sorry. @loxbbg

"Y/n Potter." Professor McGonagall's shrill voice boomed. Just like that, the whole school's attention was on Y/n.

So many students, so much older than her, all focused on her. Probably, she had only just discovered, because of her last name.

The girl and the boy who lived. Apparently, they were famous.

On their 11th birthday, she hadn't expected a giant wizard man to come and whisk the twins away from the horrible Dursleys. But, he was nice and he knew their parents.

Y/n was always treated better than Harry. Aunt Petunia seemed to love her more, even letting her have a big bedroom.

Hagrid, she found out, had taken them shopping and brought them ice cream. While she thought it was all a hallucination when she was able to run through a wall, she knew something strange was happening.

After that, she had met a redhead, Ron. He was dorky but kind to the siblings. And, he seemed to know a lot about the wizarding world.

Y/n took a few tentative steps before sitting on the stool. She was hyperaware of the fact everyone was watching, not able to keep the blush off her cheeks.

The heavy hat was draped onto her head, weighing her down.

"Hmm, the other Potter. You would do good in Gryffindor." The hat whispered to her, making her widen her eyes. She hadn't expected it to talk. It was an object. How could it possibly talk?

Y/n was amazed at the whole thing. It still felt like a dream. The great hall was phenomenal, and she couldn't wait to explore the castle. It was unreal.

Y/n flicked her eyes to her brother. He was already sitting at the Gryffindor table, smiling at her. She hoped she would get to be with him, even though she didn't grasp the house concept. Plus, he was near the other girl, Hermione.

Hermione seemed to know a lot about wizards, and Y/n wanted to be informed. It was like she had finally discovered her missing part.

"I remember your parents. I think you could do just like them." The hat continued. Y/n kept hoping. Hoping she wouldn't go without Harry. The thought of her parents made her heartache, she knew so little about them, but she had heard so much about them in the last few days.

"Slytherin!" The hat roared. Y/n's eyes instantly widened, looking frantically at her brother. How was it possible? The hat had decided she would do good in Gryffindor. She wanted to be with her brother and Ron and Hermione.

Just like that, the hat was off her head. Y/n was speechless as she wandered over to the Slytherin table. Somehow, they all looked mean.

She hadn't noticed who she sat next to until the boy spoke. "I'm Malfoy. Draco Malfoy." He introduced himself, puffing out his chest proudly.

"Y/n Potter." Y/n introduced, despite knowing he already knew.

"I'm Pansy Parkinson." A girl with short black hair interrupted their conversation. "We're going to be sleeping in the same dorm, do you want to be friends?" She asked. A picture of confidence.

Y/n didn't know what to do but nod. "Yeah."

"Now shove off, Parkinson. We're talking." Draco interrupted the girls.

Y/n looked concerned at Pansy, but she didn't look offended at all. "Don't worry. Dracie and I have been friends since we were kids. He doesn't mean it." She reassured the girl, noticing her surprised look. The nickname made Y/n giggle, recognising the look on Draco's face as disgust.

"We're not friends." Draco joked, stoic face. Pansy hit him on the arm.

Y/n liked them already. She could tell they would be good friends. Plus, they filled the gap she was missing, not having Harry next to her.

Harry managed to get a chance to talk to Y/n after the feast. He quickly wrapped her in his arms, comforting his sister.

"I'm sorry we're not in the same house," Y/n told him, feeling guilty.

Harry shook his head. "It's not your fault. It's that weird hat's."

"It's strange, isn't it?" Y/n giggled, not feeling like crying anymore. "I don't know what so much of this means." She continued, feeling nervous about the whole situation.

"I know." Harry agreed with a nod. "We'll get through it together. I just want to know more about mum and dad, and it's good if we don't have to stay with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon." Y/n nodded to that. They were horrible people. "We should go to our rooms now. It'll be okay." He comforted her.

She gave him another quick hug. "Thanks, Harry." She told him before turning around to walk off.

"Wait, Y/n!" Harry called, she spun back around to face him. "I've heard Malfoy is bad news, be careful." He warned. Y/n nodded, reassuring him she'd be cautious.

She didn't believe it, though, as she skipped off to the common room.

~

It was only a week into classes when Y/n figured out not everyone at Hogwarts was nicer than the Dursley's. Mainly Professor Snape. For no reason, he seemed to hate Harry. They dissected it later in Hagrid's cottage.

"'S 'cause yeh look like yer mum." Hagrid offered as an explanation. That confused the twins and Ron, who came with them. Hagrid sighed, realising he had to explain it. "Snape loved her, way back, but she married yer dad. He couldn' stand yer dad. Anyway, tha''s all history now. Unfortunately, he's one to hold a grudge. Don' let it bother yeh." He told the children.

Harry just sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Okay, I'm used to Dudley, anyway." He figured Hogwarts was a lot better than the Dursley's house.

"What about yeh, Y/n, how's Slytherin? They're not pickin' on yeh?" Hagrid asked, switched his attention to the small girl.

"It's alright. I've made lots of friends." Y/n had actually had a rather good week. She'd befriended Pansy and a girl named Daphne. As well as Draco, with who she was very close. That was just in her house. Somehow, she'd managed to sit next to Hermione in a class, Lavender too, and a girl named Hannah Abbot from Hufflepuff.

"Good." Hagrid nodded. "Yeh best be off now." He told them, taking the last sip of his drink.

The 3 of them nodded, getting up and leaving the cottage.

"You know, we've got our first flying lesson next week?" Ron asked the twins, trying to brighten the mood. He could tell they were both thinking about their parents.

Y/n did know. Draco had talked about it nonstop. He was beyond excited.

Harry nodded as well. "I'm not sure I'm going to be any good." He mentioned, lightly blushing.

"I'm sure you'll both be fine. It is in your blood." Ron told them. Y/n and Harry both looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, confused about what he meant. However, he didn't elaborate.

~

Y/n went to watch Harry's first Quidditch practise, despite him telling her not to. He said it was a waste of time when it was just practice. But she was extremely proud of him. She knew their parents would be proud too.

So she hid in the Slytherin bleaches, hoping Harry wouldn't spot her.

It was slightly chilly, the night wind whipping at her skin. That's when she felt the drape on a coat on her shoulder.

Y/n whipped her head around to see who it was, only to be met with the blonde's features. She definitely had a bit of a crush on him. He was cute and the first boy who had ever paid her attention.

Draco took a seat next to her, giving her a smile. "Hi." He whispered.

"Hi, Dray." It was a nickname she had quickly picked up, noticing how it made him blush. "You don't have to sit out here." She assured him.

"I want to," Draco confirmed.

Y/n knew he was jealous. Draco had done nothing but talk about how much he loved Quidditch. And Harry, who he thought was a blood traitor, had gotten all his success. So it was big that he wanted to sit with her.

They watched in silence before Draco spoke. "Did you know Pansy is dating Blaise?" He asked her.

Y/n shook her head rapidly. "I thought she liked you."

Draco stuck his tongue out in disgust. "No, I hope not. I did have a question though..." He trailed off, cheeks heating pink. He was bouncing his knee up and down nervously.

Y/n had never seen him like that. "What is it?" She asked.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" Draco asked hesitantly. Y/n immediately nodded, accepting the offer. She had never felt happier and more relieved.

"Of course, Dray." She agreed immediately his face relaxed. Y/n reached over and laced her fingers in his, not concerned about how sweaty his palms were. "We can't tell Harry though." She suddenly realised, remembering her brother's words. Draco had never been kind to any of the Gryffindor's, despite them being her friends.

Draco nodded. "Okay." He accepted. Y/n was very thankful he agreed to her request.

~

3rd year was the most stressful yet, for Y/n. She and Draco were still secretly dating, much to Blaise and Pansy's surprise. They couldn't believe how long it had lasted. But Y/n and Draco were drawn to each other, as friends and lovers.

Summer break was also difficult for Y/n. Aunt Marge's visit had ruined the twins birthday. On top of that, apparently, a psychotic wizard had escaped. The Dursley's didn't understand what that would mean. But Y/n and Harry saw just what dark magic could do to Ginny Weasly last year. It was devastating and powerful.

Y/n ran away with Harry when he blew up Aunt Marge. Aunt Petunia had started being much meaner to her, the older she got. While Y/n didn't know Lily, she thought it might have been the reason Aunt Petunia started shunning her.

So, she stayed at the leaky cauldron with Harry. It was the first time she felt happy to not have parents, there were no rules.

Y/n was hiding something. All the letter her owl, Edwige, was bringing her. All from Draco. She figured Harry was too tied up in his own life to think anything was odd. He probably assumed it was Hermione.

The whole train ride all Harry, Ron and Hermione wanted to talk about was terrifying Sirius Black who was trying to murder the twins.

The train's sudden stop frightened Y/n. As the compartment grew cold, she thought it was Sirius, there to kill them. When the Dementor's bony fingers slide open the door, her heart raced, almost beating out of her chest.

This was it. She was going to die from a faceless ghost. It started to suck the life out of Harry and she froze, not knowing how to help her brother.

Thankfully, the cloaked figure in the corner sprung up, scaring the spirit away.

Y/n rushed to get to Harry, but he had already fainted. He was dazed and confused when he woke, Lupin, as Y/n had come to known, handing him some chocolate.

Once Lupin had re-explained what happened, to Harry, he left.

The Potter twins connection let Y/n feel the fear Harry was in, despite being the braver.

Y/n was more than happy to get off the train, being able to sit next to her boyfriend. The Gryffindor table couldn't see them, so they were free to subtly hold hands.

It didn't feel the same that year. Draco was much darker and meaner. He was mean to Hermione and Hagrid, two of Y/n's companions. She didn't understand it.

Their relationship issues came to a head on the date of Buckbeaks execution. Draco and Y/n didn't agree on the situation but it got worse as she roamed the castle with Harry, Hermione and Ron.

As soon as Y/n saw Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle hiding behind that rock she knew today was going to be her breaking point. She didn't understand why he couldn't just shut his mouth and not say anything.

"Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic?" said Malfoy. "And he’s supposed to be our teacher!" The look on his face was pure disgust. His eyes flicked up to meet Y/n's, not back down from the remarks he'd made as she stared him down.

It was then she realised it. He cared more about maintaining his arrogant reputation than he did his own girlfriend. The thought broke her heart.

Harry and Ron both marched to him, with Hermione one step ahead. Y/n awkwardly stood there, not knowing how to come between her secret boyfriend and friends.

Hermione got to him first, landing a solid punch to his nose. It was as hard as she could, landing a solid sound.

Draco stumbled back, Crabbe and Goyle rushing to hold him up. He gave Y/n a final look as he ran past her.

Y/n's eyes were already filling with tears. Hermione noticed. "Are you alright?" She asked.

She quickly thought up a lie. "I'm sorry... It's just all of this with Buckbeard is difficult. Can you tell Hagrid I'm really sorry?" She stuttered out, the tears streaming down her cheeks.

They all brought the lie, Harry wrapping her in a hug before they walked off. She stood there and cried for a few minutes, all alone. Like no one in the world cared about her.

It quickly turned to anger, her blood boiling. She stormed off to the Slytherin common room, knowing Draco was too proud to go to the hospital wing.

She found him there, on the couch, Crabbe and Goyle at his side.

"I can't believe Granger," Draco exclaimed, not noticing Y/n. "She's a filthy mudblood I could easily get expelled."

"Tell your father." Goyle prompted. Crabbe and Goyle were the best henchmen, dumb and wanting to cause trouble.

"Goyle, Crabbe, I need to speak to Malfoy," Y/n announced. They didn't understand what she meant. "Alone." They finally understood, scurrying out of the room.

Draco didn't look concerned, his eyes challenging her. "What do you want? Hanging out with your idiot twin, that poor, blood traitor Weaslbee and mudblood Granger." He was just as pissed as Y/n was. Maybe, it was the anger for Granger he was taking out on Y/n.

She couldn't hide it anymore. "We're done." She told him. "I cannot be with you when you hate everyone that loves me."

"Fine." Draco shrugged. "I don't care."

That was the last thing Y/n heard from him as she stormed to her dorm room, a sobbing mess. Pansy quickly wrapped her in a hug, not needing to know what happened.

~

It was the end of term before Y/n even looked in Draco's direction again. She spent all those nights silently sobbing. The slight silver lining was she had gotten much closer to Harry, Hermione and Ron, no longer spending hours with Draco.

He'd trapped her when she was alone in the bleachers, just like he did on their first week.

He didn't place a jacket on her, rather some sunglasses. "Hi." He murmured, hesitantly sitting next to her. Draco was sure Y/n hated him.

"Hey." She replied. The truth was, she missed him. Draco was a part of her, they had grown up in love. They were never meant to fall out of it.

"Enjoying your last day?" Draco asked awkwardly. They felt like they were back in their first year, acting self-consciously.

She nodded, not interested in his small talk. "Yeah, I'm all packed as well." She still refused to look at him.

"I'm sorry." It came tumbling out like he didn't know how to say it. That made her turn her attention to him.

Y/n couldn't help but love him. She never wanted to break up, ever. "Me too." She replied.

Y/n wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in for a hug. He just looked so precious.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Draco asked, the question was phrased differently this time but it still reminded her of the shy first year.

"Yes." Y/n agreed. She had never known heartbreak like being without Draco.

"Also... I want it to be real this time." That made Y/n worry. She didn't want Harry to find out yet. There was no one Harry hated more. "Will you stay with us these holidays? And come to the Quidditch World Cup?" He asked shyly. That was the bashful boy she adored.

So far, Y/n's plans were to go to the Durley's. She'd just lie to them and say she was staying with Pansy. They wouldn't care because they didn't love her.

'Yes." Y/n told him. "I'm terrified to meet your parents." She admitted.

Draco took her hand in his. "Love, you have nothing to worry about." He assured her. In truth, he also had doubts about his father. Y/n was a Potter.

Once they left the bleachers, Y/n went to see Harry. The trio was in the courtyard.

"Oh Y/n, we were looking for you." Ron pipped up as she took a seat next to them. She tried to not blush too much. "Do you want to come to the Quidditch World Cup with us?" He asked. Uh oh.

"I'm really sorry. I told Pansy I'd go with her family." Y/n lied once again. She felt terrible doing it but she had to. Plus, they weren't going to find out.

"That's fine. Are staying with her the whole summer?" Harry asked. Y/n hated to have to nod. She knew they were keeping a brave face on but they were disappointed.

~

Y/n's lie worked. She made it to out of the station with Draco without anyone seeing.

They got in the car and, from there, they travelled to the manor. It was fabulous. Better than she could ever imagine. Pointed towers and perfectly done gardens, she was in another world.

"Hey, it'll be okay," Draco assured her, taking his hand in hers as they made it to the door. She had already met their house-elf, who carried the bags.

Draco knocked on the door, trying to seem brave. Narcissa swung it open, arms wide open to pull Draco in. Y/n admired how close they were. She had seen Narcissa once before when she came to see Draco. They weren't introduced but Y/n admired how elegant she looked.

"Y/n Potter, right?" Narcissa asked once she had let her boy go.

"Yes, Mrs Malfoy. It's a pleasure to meet you." Y/n politely said.

Narcissa giggled, shaking her head. "Don't be silly, you can call me Narcissa." She said before opening her arms up for the girl. She hugged for just as long as she hugged Draco, making Y/n feel very comfortable.

Lucius walked over, making Y/n's heart race.

"Draco." He greeted his son with a handshake, much less warm than his mother.

Then he turned to Y/n, staring down his nose at her. She had never felt as small. "You must be Y/n Potter?" He held out his hand.

"Yes, sir," Y/n replied, shaking his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Lucius just scowled. Narcissa interrupted the tension. "Come, kids, we can talk in the living room." Just like that, she was part of the family.

~

The Malfoy tent at the Quidditch world cup was impressive. It was grand and dark like the manor.

Her summer with Draco was the best of her life, not that the others were much to compare to. Narcissa was the kindest woman she'd ever know. When she realised Y/n's birthday was the 31st of July, she insisted on throwing a large party.

She let Y/n pick out all the decorations, taking her on a shopping spree to Diagon Alley. Then, they had a spa day and afternoon tea party with Pansy and Daphne and some of Narcissa's friends. As much as she wanted to, Y/n figured it wasn't right to invite Hermione and Ginny.

That night, they had dinner out with the girls, Draco, Theo and Blaise. It was the best day of her life. It only got better when a massive cake was wheeled out, and a cart for of gifts. She was sure it was more than Dudley had ever gotten.

Draco's was the most special. It was a necklace, a traditional Black family one. On it was their initials.

Y/n made sure to stay in contact with Harry, but things had started to slip. She figured he was just busy but she missed him, and their other friends.

It was difficult for Y/n to get along with Lucius, knowing how close he was to Voldemort, the man who was trying to kill her. Somehow, they just didn't talk about it.

"Are you ready to go?" Draco asked, adjusting his black blazer. She couldn't believe how good he looked, a full black suit. His blonde hair parted in the middle. He had grown into his looks majorly over the summer.

"Yeah." Y/n nodded, putting her last earing in. They were a gift from Narcissa, real emeralds. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach she was trying to shake off as anticipation.

"Okay, Mum has already gone to our box. We're going in with my Father." He told her, walking over to grab her hand. Physical contact was something the couple had gotten used to. It was no longer awkward.

Y/n took his hand, lacing their fingers as they walked out of the tent. Draco was taller than her now, he hadn't been in first year. His slim thumb traced over her knuckles mindlessly.

Lucius didn't seem to mind the two of them being so close. The sky had darkened, and the crowds were already cheering. While Y/n had never been to a muggle sports game, she thought this was better. It was noisy but spectacular.

Draco and Y/n talked as they walked, him occasionally bumping into her shoulder. It always made her giggle.

When she heard Lucius' cruel voice, she looked back at him. He was looking up. Y/n followed his eye line. The Weasley's. Hermione. Harry.

Her brain stopped working, and she froze. The look on Harry's face was pure fury. He was looking between her and Draco rapidly, but it was obvious. They were holding hands, and they had just been giggling together.

Those smiles were long gone. The atmosphere had immediately blackened.

Lucius' threat to Harry made her wince. Harry didn't even look bothered, just furious at her. Betrayed. It physically hurt her, and she gripped Draco's hand.

The Weasley group turned to walk off so did Lucius. Draco pulled Y/n closer to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Hey, don't worry. It'll be okay. Harry will calm down." Draco told her. She just hoped it was true. Harry didn't like to be deceived, and she had lied so much. Plus, Draco was never nice to Harry, Hermione and Ron. They probably hated her by association. "My father really shouldn't have said that." He grimaced. That's made her confident in her decision. Draco had changed.

Y/n nodded, trying to choke back the tears welling in her eyes. "Yeah, I know."

Draco stopped in the middle of the bridge. He took her face in his hands. "Hey, I love you." He reminded her before leaning down to kiss her. It was soft and filled her back up with warmth, making the chilling look Harry had sent her go away. She just hoped Harry still loved her.

Y/n tried to put Harry in the back of her mind the rest of the break. She did write him a few letters, but he didn't reply.

~

Harry was too busy to talk to Y/n on the first day of school. She hoped Hermione and Ron weren't giving her the cold shoulder, but they did.

So she spent the welcome feast with Pansy and Daphne. And, of course, her boyfriend.

He confronted her on the second day of school.

Y/n was in the courtyard when Draco and Harry had their quarrel. She always knew Draco was short-tempered, but she couldn't believe the things he was saying to Harry about their mother.

Y/n's shock grew when Harry spat back, knocking Narcissa. He didn't know her like she did. Narcissa had been nothing but kind to Y/n. That was when she knew she couldn't let Harry get away with it.

"Harry!" Y/n yelled, his attention flicked to her. His eyes were even more outraged than they were with Draco.

"What do you want, traitor?" Harry demanded, his voice was angry too.

"You can't say those things about Narcissa," Y/n demanded. Now she knew how mad Draco felt. Her jaw was clenched like her fits. "And, I'm not a traitor. I'm a Slytherin, that wasn't my choice."

Harry rolled his eyes and huffed. "You're sickening. Did you not hear what he said about our mother!?" He lectured her. "I don't know how you could be with someone so vile."

"Draco isn't who you think he is." Y/n defended. Draco loved her. He'd never given up on her like Harry had.

"He hates you!" Harry spat. He was closer to her now, towering over her. She had never seen anyone that mad. "You're not a Potter. You don't belong in our family." He said so lowly it made her shiver.

Harry was so close she thought he was going to hit her. That's when Draco jumped in the middle of the twins, pushing Harry back and shielding Y/n.

"Watch it, Potter." Draco threatened, glaring down at Harry. He was only an inch taller.

Harry scoffed, fists clench, ready for a fight. He looked around Draco, at Y/n. "Mum and Dad would have despised you. You're just like all those other awful Slytherins. I don't understand how you could be with someone as low as Malfoy." His words sat deep in her heart, and he didn't stop them from coming. "You're not a Potter." With that, he left, not looking back.

Y/n immediately burst out in tears. She couldn't stop it. Draco spun around to her, holding her so she wouldn't collapse.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay." Draco told her, wrapping her in his arms so tightly. He just held her. "You know they would be proud of you, Y/n. You're so strong and clever." He comforted her, his hands stroking her back.

Y/n shook her head. "No, I'm a Slytherin. They were all brave Gryffindors." She choked out.

"It doesn't matter what house you're in. You're so kind and talented." Draco reassured her. His heart was breaking, seeing his girlfriend in such a bad state. All he wanted to do was stop her from hurting. "I know how important Harry is to you. We can take a break until this all blows over." He reassured her.

Y/n shook her head, clinging to her chest. "No, no, please, Dray." She said as she cried out. "You're the last good thing I have left."

"Baby." He cooed, tracing her cheekbones. "I'll never leave you." He promised.

~

Draco stayed true to his word. He supported her throughout the whole year. Y/n was always worried for Harry. Despite the shunning, he inflicted on her.

It didn't stop with Harry. Y/n lost half of her friends that day. Hermione, the Weasley's and most muggle-borns refused to talk to her. She was always so kind that it troubled her.

Draco took her to the Yule ball, naturally. She saw Harry that night. They even made eye contact, but he didn't comment on her forest green dress. It matched her eyes perfectly, though, and Harry couldn't stop thinking about one photo of his mother he'd seen. They looked so similar.

She spent the Christmas break at the Malfoy's, receiving a sweater from Molly Weasley. That meant the world to her, despite none of them speaking to her.

When they got back to Hogwarts, Y/n figured out how irrelevant she was to Harry. Ron was the one that was taken for the second task. Everyone noticed. Not his own twin, his friend.

Y/n still remained close with Sirius. They wrote letters to each other throughout the year. He knew how worried she was about Harry.

The truth was, Sirius felt bad, James and Lily were his best friends and he knew they'd be disappointed to see the twins split up. Sirius was also worried for Y/n, he knew what it was like being part of the Black family.

He had hatched a few plans to get them to talk, but none worked. Not due to Y/n's lack of trying.

The third task was the worst thing Y/n had been through at Hogwarts. She could feel something bad was happening to Harry. When he came back through the portkey, she saw it. And it was distressing.

Voldermort was reborn, whether everyone believed it or not. Y/n could feel it was true.

~

5th year was exciting.

Y/n celebrated her 15th birthday before it started. This time, they had dinner with her friends. She didn't write to Harry.

Sirius sent her gifts, and he was starting to ask whether Narcissa was okay.

Just after her birthday, in August, Draco Malfoy and Y/n Potter were made prefects. They both read the letters at the breakfast table.

Narcissa was overjoyed for both of them.

At 11am, on the 1st of September, they got on the train to Hogwarts.

The rest of that year went on normally, apart from Umbridge's rules.

Christmas break was a sign that a darker power was brewing. Y/n heard the whispers under the door and she assumed the other side of the war also had meetings.

Y/n was shocked when Death Eaters escaped from Azkaban. After the Umbridge drama died down, they had to sit their O.W.L.s. That was rough.

One terrible day of June was Sirius' last. Y/n cried in Draco's arms for days over the death. She always thought Sirius was the only person who was going to be able to reunite the twins. And now he was gone.

~

Y/n knew something was very wrong during the summer. Draco told her he was a death eater. They cried about it together all night. The weeks following were stressful, and they weren't even back at Hogwarts. The war had started.

Draco and Narcissa kept Y/n hidden from Lucius' guests. O.W.L results were the first good thing that summer.

Y/n's 16th birthday was smaller than her last. Y/n, Draco, Pansy, Blaise and Theo were all hyperaware of the dementor attacks.

That weekend, they visited Diagon Alley with Narcissa. Y/n was at Draco's side the whole time, unfortunately, that meant she had a run-in with Harry and the Weasleys. It was awkward, to say the least. Her own twin still wouldn't acknowledge her.

Draco's task started at the beginning of the year. Y/n was the only one who knew about it, besides Snape.

Then Christmas, with even more death eater meetings. Y/n barely saw Draco. Narcissa had made her promise to take care of him, but it was difficult to get him to eat.

Draco continued his task during the second semester. Y/n knew that Harry knew about Draco. Their twin insight gave him the power to just know things.

It was getting difficult between Y/n and Draco. They didn't talk as honestly as they used to. He wanted to protect her. And she knew he needed to open up.

One day in May, Y/n rushed to see Draco in the hospital wing, concerned about how he could have gotten there. Did something go wrong with the vanishing cabinet?

"Draco!" She cried as she saw him lying on a hospital bed looking pale.

Draco waved at her, a little smile on his face.

"Potter." Snape hissed, looking down at the girl. Y/n didn't care he was there as she wrapped her arms around Draco. Snape was nicer to Y/n this year, which she didn't understand.

From a photo Sirius had given her, she knew she looked more like Lily than ever. She always kept the picture near her. It was the Potter parents holding up their twins, smiling.

"He's fine," Snape told her. "As for your brother, he's going to be in huge trouble." He continued before walking out of the hospital wing.

"What happened?" Y/n demanded, holding Draco's face in her hands. His cheekbones were more prominent now, and his eyes were more overcast.

Draco playfully huffed. "I was, uh, in the bathroom. Potter came in and used the bloody Sectumsempra spell on me." He complained, his eyes now angrier. She couldn't believe Harry would do something like that. But, then again, she didn't really know him.

Y/n noticed the way his voice faded when he talked about where he was. "Why were you in the bathroom?" She knew him well enough to push for an answer."

"Uh, talking." Draco offered an explanation. It wasn't good enough for Y/n to accept.

"To who?" She asked.

Draco groaned, rolling his eyes. He finally gave in. "Fine, I was crying to Moaning Myrtle." He admitted. His cheeks were pink with blush and he looked guilty.

"Dray." Y/n cooed, reaching down to hold his hand. "You can talk to me about anything you need to, any time." She assured him.

Draco nodded, thankfully. "He's going to get detention for the rest of the year." He told her, a self-satisfied smirk on his lips.

Narcissa was one of the last people Y/n expected to see walk into the Hospital Wing. She was in a black pantsuit.

"Mother." Draco greeted her, trying to move in the bed to get up.

"Stay put, you," Narcissa told him with a smile. She walked right over and hugged Y/n. "Are you okay?" She asked. Y/n just nodded. She knew a storm was brewing, but nothing had happened yet. It was only a matter of time. Then she turned to Draco. "Are you?" She asked him.

Draco already had a witty reply, clearly feeling like himself again. "Aside from my own mother preferring my girlfriend to me." He complained, a faux pout on his face.

Narcissa just rolled her eyes, like mother like son. "I can't help it. You get into too much trouble." She told him with a pointed look.

Draco scoffed. "Wasn't my fault." He complained quietly. The girls just gave him a look he knew too well. "Honestly, what are you doing here?" He asked. When Narcissa widened her eyes, he followed the question up with a statement. "Not that I'm not pleased to see you."

"I've actually come for Y/n." She explained.

Both Y/n and Draco looked at her in shock. "What? Why?" Y/n asked, most concerned.

Narcissa looked to Draco who sighed out an 'oh' and then back to Y/n before speaking. "You know about the cabinet." Y/n nodded. "They need it. The Death Eaters. To get into Hogwarts." That made Y/n worry. They weren't coming in to have dinner.

"You don't know this." Draco started, making Y/n's attention turn to him. "My task is to kill Dumbledore." Y/n's mouth gawked open. She could feel her hands shaking. More than anything, she couldn't believe someone would make a kid do that.

Narcissa grimaced. "It's all about to start." Y/n didn't need to ask what 'it' was. "So I'm taking Y/n away." She told them.

"Wait... for how long?" Draco asked quickly, gripping her hand.

"Draco, you sit in those meetings," Narcissa told him. "You know the plan is for them to take over the Ministry of Magic and persecute muggle-borns." That made Y/n wince. "It's not safe for Y/n to stay at Hogwarts, don't be silly about this." She strictly told him.

Draco sighed but nodded. He knew Narcissa was always right. "Can I still see her?" He asked, now thinking rationally. Y/n didn't like that she didn't have any say in the matter.

"Yes." At least there was that. "No one is going to know where she is apart from Lucius, you and I," Narcissa told them.

"Do I get any say in this?" Y/n finally spat out.

Narcissa turned her attention to Y/n with a pleading look. "You know we have to."

"I've still got a month of school left," Y/n argued.

"I know and I'm sorry we have to do this." Narcissa apologised. "It's all going to happen next month."

"Can't I stay until then?" Y/n asked.

Narcissa shook her head. "I promise you, if I thought you could, I would let you. You're a big part of what you-know-who wants, Harry more, but you must stay far away from this." She told her.

Y/n couldn't not agree. "Alright. We're leaving now?" She asked.

"Yes," Narcissa told her. "All of your things have been packed. Draco can come and see you once it's over." She promised.

Draco wrapped his arms around Y/n as he kissed her. It was one of the things she knew she was going to miss. She also knew it was time to go.

"Bye, I love you," Draco told her, waving from his hospital bed.

"I love you too," Y/n replied before walking out of the wing with Narcissa.

From there, they went out a secret passage, making sure no one saw. Professor Snape knew Y/n had to go, so he was coming up with the cover story.

Narcissa and Y/n finally reached a Slytherin scarf, which took them to a house she'd never been to. "Where are we?" Y/n asked, still holding on to the portkey.

"The South of England," Narcissa told her, making her brows furrow and eyes widen. "It's an old Black family house." She explained, opening the door. It was just as grand as the Manor, smaller, though.

Inside it looked just as gorgeous. All the decor was French country vintage. It screamed old money.

"It's beautiful," Y/n told Narcissa, having a look around the inside. There was so much light streaming into the room with wooden details.

"I'll make some tea. Your room is on the second floor, first door." Narcissa told her. Y/n nodded, walking up the stairs to find the room. It was decorated like royalty belonged there. There was a massive window that looked right out onto the coast.

It was then she realised the house was on a cliff. Y/n hadn't seen it from the angle the entryway was at. But it was spectacular. Lonely.

Y/n could spend her whole life there. She set her bags down and strolled around the room. It was smaller than Draco's was, at the manor. But it was much lighter. Almost the complete opposite of the Malfoy family home.

Once she had finished looking around, she went back downstairs to see Narcissa setting tea up on the coffee table. When she walked into the living room she saw the massive windows, showing the ocean.

"Sit," Narcissa commanded and Y/n did so right away. She poured tea for both of them before also sitting down. They sat in silence for a while, Y/n not knowing what to say. "I can tell you have questions." Narcissa prompted.

"Why is Snape protecting Draco and I?" Y/n asked quickly.

Narcissa sighed before answering. "Do you know what an Unbreakable Vow is?" She asked, and Y/n nodded. "Severus and I made one. He vowed to watch over Draco." Y/n nodded again. That vow must have expended to Y/n.

Y/n suddenly had more questions. "You need a Bonder, right?"

"Yes, Bellatrix was ours," Narcissa replied. Y/n was familiar with Draco's strange aunt. They had never met, out of Bellatrix's loyalty to Voldermort.

"Are you going to stay here with me?" She asked, concerned about being alone.

Narcissa shook her head. "I'm sorry. I can only be here sometimes. The story is you ran away, and no one knows where you are, so I can't be here too much." Y/n didn't know that before. Everyone was going to think she'd left by choice. Pansy, Daphne, Blaise, Theo. Harry, if he cared. She knew none of them were going to be able to know why she was gone.

"Am I safe here?" Y/n asked, now worrying about how she would be safe alone. The tea they were sipping seemed to calm her down.

"Yes, there are charms on the house so no one can get in. But, I'm also giving you this." Narcissa stopped what she was saying and pulled out a necklace. It was a heart-shaped gold locket. Narcissa placed it in her hand. Y/n looked at it. That's when she noticed the initials on it. Draco's and hers.

Y/n thanked her. "That's not it. If you open it like this." Narcissa instructed, opening the heart. Y/n noticed the emerald gemstone. "This stone is a portkey, right to the Manor." So Y/n would be able to get back to the Manor.

"I can't thank you enough, and I don't want to intrude, but I do have a personal question." Y/n was hesitant about what she was going to ask. But she needed to know. "You said before, in the hospital wing, that Mr Malfoy knew where I was staying. And I have a lot of respect for him, so I don't want this to come off badly." Y/n could tell she was rambling. Narcissa could as well, she slid a hand onto Y/n's to calm her down. "Why is it safe for him to know? He's you-know-who's number 2. Eventually, he's going to want me dead." It broke Y/n's heart, she knew it was going to ruin Draco's life. But, his father was going to have to kill her.

"Slow down." Narcissa smiled softly. That comforted Y/n a little. "Do you remember when we met, the summer before the World Cup?" She asked. Y/n nodded in agreement, not sure where it was going. "The night we met you, I knew. I knew Draco was in love with you. And, I knew Voldermort was going to come back and try to kill the Potter twins." Y/n's heart started to race at the mention of her parents' death. "I made Lucius make an unbreakable vow. Snape was the Bonder." Oh, it made sense. Lucius couldn't hurt Y/n, Narcissa had protected her.

She just didn't understand why so she asked. "Why? I mean, I appreciate it more than anything. But you risked your whole marriage." It was true, and Narcissa knew that.

"I've never thought you or Harry should be persecuted. My parents raised me as pureblood supremacists, but killing is wrong." Narcissa told her. Y/n was thankful for her honesty. She filled the place Lily had left, and Petunia hadn't tried to fill. "I love Draco, more than anything in the world. The only thing I've ever wanted is to see him happy. I knew he was happy with you." Y/n understood Narcissa's unconditional love for Draco, she felt the same.

"He's lucky to have you," Y/n mentioned, trying not to think about her parents.

"I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I'm very sorry about your parents," Narcissa told her. Y/n could feel the tears in her eyes.

She let a few of them fall. "Did you, uh, know them?"

"My last two years at Hogwarts, they were there. James was only 11 but he was loud and brave. He would even stand up to me with Sirius." Hearing both their names made Y/n cry more. She was crying for the dad she never knew, and the uncle she only had for a short time. "I noticed you at Hogwarts, I think during second year, and I had deja vu. You looked so similar to Lily. She always wore her hair just like you did." Y/n remembered seeing Narcissa but she didn't remember Narcissa seeing her.

"Would they be disappointed in me?" Y/n couldn't help but ask. Narcissa felt her pain, running deep. She immediately wrapped the girl in a hug, letting her cry.

"No, never for a moment." She confirmed. "I know it's not the same, but I'm proud of you." It wasn't the same, but it meant just as much.

"Thank you." Y/n thanked her again.

"No thanks are necessary. I should go back though." Narcissa stated, looking at her watch.

Y/n nodded, gently opening the necklace so she wouldn't touch the emerald. Narcissa held it, and just like that, she was gone.

Y/n found a good amount of things to do. There were movies and music. She still had some of her textbooks. Plus, exploring the house was fun.

But she did miss Draco. And the rest of her friends. Instead of using an owl, she decided to send letters by muggle post to the Malfoy residence, so Narcissa could send them to Hogwarts.

~

There was a knock on the door a couple of weeks after Y/n moved in.

She peaked out the window before seeing a tuff of blonde hair. It was Draco.

Quickly, she swung the door open, embarrassing him in her arms.

Draco hugged her back, lifting her off the ground and twirling her around.

"Dray, I missed you." She cooed, head buried in his shoulder.

"I missed you too, my girl." He replied, pulling her even closer. It was so tight she felt like she couldn't breathe.

When she pulled back, she had a thought. "How did you manage to come? Don't you have classes?"

Draco shook his head. "Quidditch match. It's Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw, so I came here instead." Y/n was very grateful for Quidditch that day.

They only had a few hours before people would notice he was gone. But they baked cookies together while Draco filled her in on everything she'd missed. As well as lots of kissing.

When it came time for him to leave, she was upset. But Draco made her promise not to cry.

~

Draco came back after the battle of the tower. Y/n knew there was something wrong. He didn't grin as wide when he met her at the beach.

There were already tears forming in his eyes, and it was late.

"Dray, talk to me, baby." Y/n pleaded as they lay together on the couch. It was far past midnight. Y/n was on Draco's chest and they were a tangle of limbs. She had her fingers running through his hair.

Draco sighed. "I couldn't do it." He sobbed out. "I couldn't kill him. Snape had to do it. It was so horrible, Y/n." He continued, tears still falling. "My father was so mad. He cares more about appeasing Voldermort than me." Y/n's heart clenched as she heard his words.

"Draco, he loves you." Y/n tried to reassure him.

Draco tried to accept it, but it was difficult. "I'm scared for what's going to happen." He told her.

"Me too," Y/n admitted. "How's it all going to end?" She asked him.

The truth was Draco didn't know. And she knew that. "They're talking over the Manor." He didn't want to be the one telling her the bad news. "They're going to go after anyone and everyone associated with Muggleborns. I'm not going to get to be here much." He hesitantly admitted.

"You've done what they needed you to do, though!" Y/n exclaimed, feeling outraged.

"I know. I'm not sure what they're going to do with me. Father lectured me and I just came here." Draco explained. It reassured her there might be some hope he could spend the summer there. "It'll be okay, Y/n."

She tried to retain that. "Can you come back on my birthday, at least?" Y/n asked.

"Of course, baby." Draco quickly replied. That brought Y/n some relief.

~

Draco was busy a lot of the summer. Despite having completed the task he was given, he was still Lucius's son.

He told Y/n all about how the Manor had been taken over by death eaters. It worried her. She also spent a lot of time worried about Harry. He was the only blood connection she had left in the world, and she had no idea where he was.

Draco came back on her birthday like he promised. He had more flowers than she'd ever seen in her life. That wasn't where the gifts ended. Jewellery, new shoes, perfume and a big cake.

Narcissa made it as well for dinner. She even insisted Draco stay the night.

By nighttime, they were lying in bed together. Draco's arms wrapped around her tightly. As usual, she lay against his chest. Draco stroking her hair.

When she looked up at him, she knew something was wrong. After all their years together, she could read him like a book. "What is it?"

"What do you mean?" He asked. His voice was a slightly higher pitch. Y/n recognised that as a sign he was hiding something.

"I can tell something bothering you," Y/n explained. "Let me in, Dray." She pleaded.

Draco knew he had to. "I have to leave early tomorrow morning."

Y/n knew that wasn't it. "I need the whole truth." Draco groaned, knowing she knew him better than he knew himself.

"I have to go early so I can be at the takeover of the ministry," Draco revealed to her. "They're going after Scrimgeour because he knows where Harry is." Oh. That wasn't good. Either the minister would give up Harry's location, and her twin brother would be killed. Or, the Ministry of Magic would be run by Death Eaters. Either way, their power was growing. Y/n knew Harry only had a matter of time. Then she would be next.

"So, no one knows where Harry is?" Y/n asked hopefully. Even if he hated her, she would rather he was alive.

Draco shook his head. "He's hunting the Horcruxes, I'd guess. Scrimgeour knows and maybe a few members of the Ministry." That made Y/n relieved, although she wasn't sure how good Harry's survival skills were.

"Am I going to be okay?" Y/n asked, fearing the worst.

Draco took a deep breath as he prepared an answer. "I'm never going to let him get to you, I promise. My Father's vow will make sure he can't either. No one else knows you're here." He reassured her. Y/n just hoped it was true, Draco could read that.

"So you're going back to Hogwarts?" Y/n couldn't help but ask.

Draco nodded. "I think Snape is going to be appointed Headmaster. I'll be safe there." That reassured Y/n to no end. He chuckled slightly, a smile on his face. "We were going to be Head boy and girl." He explained. Y/n's face dropped as she tried not to cry. "Hey, hey, hey." Draco noticed. "It's just the way it happened."

"I know." She nodded. "It just could have been the best year ever."

"When this is all over, we're going to have the best year." He assured her. Y/n tried to hang onto that.

It got difficult the further the year dragged on. Y/n barely saw Draco. She did receive letters about how horrible things had gotten. Hogwarts was gloomier, no one could find Harry, Snape's regime was intense. Y/n was thankful she was away from the whole mess.

Just before Christmas, she found out Luna Lovegood had been kidnapped. Draco had started to detest the cause he was fighting for. He never said so, but she could infer it from what he wrote.

In March, she discovered Harry had been captured. Draco was the one who had to identify him, and he felt horrible about it. He cried on her shoulder, begging her to forgive him when he came to see her. Y/n was never mad at Draco. She was smart enough to know he had to do it. And, deep down, she could feel that Harry was okay.

Draco was in a worse state when they escaped. Not because he wanted Harry to be killed. Because his own aunt had murdered Dobby. While he was taught to hate the house-elves, Dobby was almost his younger sibling.

All Draco could feel was split, unsure of what to do.

Draco told her it was all going to happen on May 1st. The battle of Hogwarts. Y/n spent the whole day riddled with anxiety. She spent a whole 3 days wide awake, waiting for news.

She felt a cursing pain through her head at some point on the 2nd of May. Then the visions started, of Harry and Dumbledore at a train station. She realised she was seeing inside Harry's vision. When he made the choice to return to his body, Y/n knew everything would be alright.

Y/n anxious sat on the couch until 3 people appeared. It was only the early hours of the morning. She immediately ran to Draco wrapping her arms around him. He was unkempt, and his hair was a mess. He hugged her back, pulling her into his chest. She had never seen him looking as disturbed.

"What happened?" Y/n asked, turning to give Narcissa a hug. Much to her surprise, Lucius shook her hand. It was the first time they'd ever done something like that.

"We left," Lucius told her. That was also the first time he'd ever properly talked to her. She didn't understand.

They explained it all to her. How Harry sacrificed himself, how he died, more importantly how Narcissa discovered he was alive. Y/n hung on every word as Narcissa told her how she had lied to Voldermort. She also told Y/n Harry asked if she was still alive. Harry still cared about her.

By that point Draco, Narcissa and Y/n were all crying.

The sun had just started rising when Y/n realised it.

Suddenly, she had a massive headache. The kind she knew Harry used to have. And she knew what it meant.

"Voldermort's dead," Y/n announced, causing all of their eyes to widen. "I just know. I can feel it. Harry killed him." She felt more connected to Harry than she had in years, but she knew.

There were no words any of them said as they hugged. She could feel her head beating rapidly, the same as Draco's.

"Who died?" Y/n finally asked the question she was terrified to ask. Harry was the only one she knew was alive from the good side.

"Bellatrix." Narcissa sobbed out, Lucius immediately pulling her into a hug. It was one of the first times Y/n had seen them acting so intimately.

Draco continued giving Y/n the list. Every second felt like an hour as she hoped none of her friends died. "Fred Weasley." She could only think about the heartbreak that would have caused her brother and his friends. "Snape too." Draco let a few tears fall and Y/n rushed to wipe them. "Lupin and Tonks." Lupin was the last person alive who really knew her parents. Now her chances of knowing about them were over. "There were a lot of others too but everyone else we are close to is okay."

"Good." Y/n nodded before wrapping him in a hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Both couples holding each other, all feeling extremely grateful.

"We should go back home," Narcissa told them, glancing at the clock on the wall. "We'll have breakfast." She promised.

Draco enthusiastically nodded. "I'm starving." He mentioned.

Narcissa reached out to grab his hand. "You haven't eaten in days."

Y/n quickly turned her attention to Draco. "Dray." She told him, hitting his arm. "You can't do that."

"I won't, ever again." He promised, his hand wrapping around her waist. "As long as you're there to cook for me." He cheekily quipped, looking at Y/n with a grin. It was the first one she had seen in a while.

Narcissa and Lucius both laughed at the younger couple who reminded them of themselves. "You're dreaming," Y/n replied, bumping into his shoulder. Y/n opened her necklace.

Narcissa, Draco, Lucius and Y/n all touched the emerald. Just like that, they arrived in the Manor living room. It was like Y/n remembered, still as dark. She did feel better about being there, knowing no death eaters were trying to kill her brother.

Over pancakes, they laughed and talked. The world finally felt peaceful again. It was the first time Y/n had been happy in weeks.

An owl knocked at the window, around midday and Y/n took the two letters out of its mouth.

"Dray." She told him, handing his one over to him. "It's from Hogwarts." She told Narcissa and Lucius. They both opened their letters and read them. "In June, they're having an end of year feast," Y/n explained.

"So, we've got a month off school?" Draco looked thrilled by the news.

Narcissa chuckled. "What does it say about your exams?" She asked.

Draco read further down. "Mine says my grades from last year will be considered my grades for this year and I can become an Aurora. Or I can go back to Hogwarts." There was hopefulness in his voice Y/n had missed.

"Draco!" Narcissa cheered, jumping up to hug him. "Congratulations."

"Mine says the same." Y/n realised. "But how is that possible?" She asked, looking at Narcissa.

"I'm not sure." The woman replied, looking just as confused.

"I may have a few words with the acting Ministry when Voldermort was in charge," Lucius reported. All 3 of them were shocked by the confession.

Y/n was overcome with appreciation. "Thank you, sir."

"Please, Lucius is fine." That surprised Y/n but it was nice to hear he might not have hated her as much as she thought. It was the first time Y/n had seen a smile on his face. "What are you two planning on doing with your time off?" He asked the younger couple.

Draco and Y/n met each other's eyes, they hadn't thought about it. "What are we meant to do?" Draco asked.

"The house on the cliff is empty, if you want to spend more time there, Y/n," Narcissa mentioned. Draco grinned widely, nodding his head. He accepted the offer. "Slow down, Y/n?" Narcissa asked, turning her attention to Y/n.

"Yes, I'd love to. Thank you." Y/n affirmed her boyfriend's acceptance.

"When can we go?" Draco asked.

Lucius chuckled. "You don't want to spend time with your parents, son?" He joked. Another first. "You're going of age now, Draco. Y/n too. I think you've both earned the privilege of being treated like adults." He told them.

"You have to be back for your birthday, Draco. We're going to throw a party." Narcissa instructed, raising her eyebrows at him.

"So I'm not an adult?" Draco quipped back.

Narcissa turned to Y/n. "Will you make sure he comes back?" Y/n nodded. "Then you are both free to leave after I get a hug." She informed them, opening her arms up. Draco hugged her first, standing much taller than her.

Then he left to get his stuff. Lucius followed him up the stairs. Y/n walked over to Narcissa, embracing her.

"Thank you, for everything." Y/n mentioned in her arms.

"It's never a problem, sweetness," Narcissa replied, kissing the girl on the forehead.

~

Y/n and Draco took a different portkey to the house. Both of them were buzzing to have a month together after being apart for so long. They finally felt free and independent.

For a few weeks, they just hung out, reacquainting with each other. They spent time in London, seeing muggle sights and shopping. As well as the small, nearby muggle town. It had the cutest cafe.

Draco and Y/n also hung out with Pansy, Theo and Blaise again. They were all thrilled to see her. She explained the whole situation to them and they completely understood.

Between them, it was like no time was lost.

One summer evening, Draco had insisted on cooking Y/n dinner. He explained it was a date. She was to dress up nice like they were going out. Draco was in a full black suit, matching Y/n's sparkling black dress.

He even set the outdoor table, making Y/n sit there and wait for him to bring out dinner.

It was a pasta dish. The same one Narcissa had made the first time Y/n met the Malfoy family.

"Thank you, Dray," Y/n said as they sat, looking out at the view. The sun was just setting and the whole sky was painted pinks and oranges. In the distance, there was the sound of waves breaking on the cliff.

Draco looked nervous, she hadn't seen him like that for a long time. "Uh, I had a question for you." He stuttered out, cheeks turning pink.

Y/n sent him a soft smile, trying to help him calm down. His nerves were worrying her. What could he possibly ask her? Y/n knew exactly what was about to happen when Draco slid off his chair and down onto one knee. Her hands immediately came over her mouth. Tears were already pricking her eyes. He reached into his back pocket, producing a green velvet box.

"I've, uh, I've thought about doing this for a really long time. When we first met I knew you were the one who was always going to hold a special part of my heart. It was everything about you. I never believed in love at first sight until I met you." Y/n was full-on sobbing at Draco's words. They were the sweetest thing anyone had ever said. "I knew from when I met you that I'd always love you. But I had no idea you'd bear to be around me for long enough. I was kind of insufferable." Y/n and Draco both chuckled. "I'm so grateful I even got the chance to know someone as clever, kind, funny and ambitious as you. Once I'd asked you out, I knew I needed you to be mine forever." Draco let a few tears out, stopping to wipe them. "I've done a lot of stupid things, hurt a lot of people and you're far too good for me, I know that. But, I swear, I'm going to spend every day making it up however I can. I'm going to spend every day making it up to you too. If you let me. I think I knew you before I understood myself. You truly are my best friend and the most important person to me in the world." Neither of them could stop the uncontrollable tears they let out. "So, uh, I've got to ask now. Y/n Potter, will you do me the honours of marrying me?" Draco opened the ring box, revealing a huge diamond ring. It looked vintage and the prettiest thing Y/n had ever seen.

Y/n wiped a few stray tears off her cheeks, leaning down to do that same to Draco. "Yes, Draco. A million times yes." He was grinning as wide as she'd ever seen as he slipped the ring on her finger.

He stood up, holding her face in his hands. "I love you." He told her, leaning down to kiss her gently.

"I love you too," Y/n replied, eyes closed with her forehead intimately pressed against Draco's. When she moved her eyes she looked down at the ring. "It's so beautiful, Dray."

Draco nodded before explaining the story. "It's, um, a Black family heirloom. If Mum, Aunt Bella or Aunt Andromeda were boys, they would have gotten it. Luckily for me, it skipped a generation."

"It's stunning." Y/n leant back up to place a kiss on his lips. "Now, what have you cooked for dessert?" She asked, giggling lightly.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Your favourite, of course, but only because you said yes." He revelled.

~

Y/n woke Draco up on his birthday with an assortment of gifts. After they ate breakfast and unwrapped presents, they went to the Manor.

Y/n knocked on the door happily. Draco's left hand entwined with her right one. Narcissa swung it open and embarrassed Y/n in an enthusiastic hug. She quickly grabbed Y/n's left hand, looking at the ring.

"I knew it would look perfect on you," Narcissa mentioned, tracing over the ring. Y/n grinned at her.

"It is perfect," Y/n said, grinning at Draco.

"You're perfect." Draco simply replied. Narcissa chuckled at the two of them. "Can I have my hug?" He asked Narcissa.

Narcissa dropped Y/n's hand hesitantly to pull him in. "18 but you're still acting like a petulant child." She joked making Draco pull a face of mock offence. "Happy birthday, Draco."

"Are you keeping them in here, Sissy?" Lucius asked, walking around the corner. Narcissa rolled her eyes at him. "Happy birthday, son." He said, wrapping Draco in a hug. "Y/n." Lucius turned to her.

"Mr Malfoy." Y/n greeted. She thought she was in trouble when he raised his eyebrows and shot her a pointed look. The smile on his lips assured her she wasn't about to be told off. "Lucius." She corrected herself.

Y/n held out a hand to shake his but he shook his head, opening his arms. "You're my future daughter-in-law, come here." He insisted, and Y/n hugged him, trying to avoid showing her shock.

After they had lunch and Draco opened more presents, Pansy, Daphne, Theo, Blaise, other friends and several Malfoy and Black family members came over. It was a phenomenal party.

Pansy raced right over to Y/n, flinging her arms around the girl.

"Hi Pansy, it's actually my birthday." Draco sarcastically greeted her.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Happy birthday, you big baby." She said, giving him a hug too. "I'm sorry I missed my best friend." Draco faked offence.

Theo, Blaise and Daphne all came to hug the couple as well. Neither Y/n nor Draco had realised they didn't know about the engagement.

They all quickly got flutes of champagne, raising them to toast each Draco.

That's when Pansy saw it. "Oh, Merlin. Is that an engagement ring!?" Pansy shouted, grabbing Y/n's left hand.

Both Y/n and Draco awkwardly laughed. "Yes," Y/n confirmed as Pansy admired the ring, showing Y/n's hand to Daphne and the boys.

"That's not just any ring. That's a Black Family ring." Blaise noticed.

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. "How did you know that?" She asked, looking back at Draco.

He was blushing pink. "Loverboy, here, has been talking about giving it to you since 1st year," Theo informed Y/n. "He wouldn't shut up about it most nights." Her eyes widened as she looked at a red-faced Draco.

"You never told me that," Y/n mentioned, nudging his chest. Draco groaned, wrapping his arm around Y/n's waist.

"Because it's really embarrassing." Draco quietly stated.

Daphne pattered Draco's arm. "Y/n used to talk about you in her sleep." Daphne declared. That made Y/n's cheeks heat. Draco and the rest of the friend group burst out laughing.

~

It was finally the day of the final Hogwarts feast. Y/n didn't ever think, at 11 years old, it was going to end like this. In 7 years, she had learnt so much more than most people learnt in their lifetime.

"Pans, Blaise." Y/n opened the door of the Black's seaside house to invite Pansy and Blaise in.

Pansy and Blaise were both dressed in formal clothing as they hugged Y/n. She was wearing a deep green dress that matched Draco's suit's tie.

"You look lovely." Pansy complimented her.

"Pansy, look at you!" Y/n returned the compliment, instructing Pansy to do a spin of her silver dress.

"Are we ready to go?" Draco asked, walking down the stairs. He was in a full black suit aside from his green tie. He bro-hugged Blaise and gave Pansy a hug before wrapping an arm around Y/n's waist.

Y/n nodded. "Let's do it."

Y/n hadn't seen how destructed Hogwarts was, but it now looked just like when she left. She couldn't help but feel sad at the tragedy that had occurred a month ago.

"It's odd being back," Pansy spoke what they were all thinking. Everyone gave her a nod of agreement.

The two couples walked into the great hall, hand in hand. Everyone was surprised to see Y/n. They still had no explanation for why she was gone.

Naturally, Y/n's eyes met her brother. She noticed how faded his lightning-bold scar looked. But she didn't go over to him, she just went to her house table.

McGonagall spoke, about the losses they had faced and how good always won in the end. Her speech was inspiring. Everyone was still distraught about the battle, it was evident on their faces.

They ate, laughing at their tables as the sky fell dark. Y/n had missed being at Hogwarts, it was like home to her. The couple finally made their way through the castle to go home when it was late.

"Y/n!" That was a voice she hadn't expected to hear. She hadn't heard him say her name in years. Harry. His voice was much deeper now.

Y/n stopped in her tracks, quickly turned around to look at him. She still looked like she remembered. "Hi." She greeted him, awkwardly rocking on her feet.

"I'll give you a moment," Draco mentioned, unlacing his hand with Y/n's and walking off.

Now, neither of them knew what to say. They were family but so disconnected.

"How are you?" Harry finally asked.

Y/n softly smiled. "I'm alright. And you?"

"Good." Harry stuttered. Silence fell again. "I'm so sorry." He blurted out. "I never should have said the things I did in 4th year. I was so angry about what Malfoy was saying and I couldn't believe it."

Y/n nodded. "I know, Harry, you don't need to explain it or be sorry."

"No, I do. I shouldn't have refused to talk to you for 3 years. It was childish and hurt you." Harry insisted. It made Y/n feel like the weight was off her shoulders. A weight she had been hauling for years. "I looked for you when I left Hogwarts for a whole year."

That was new information but it warmed Y/n's heart. "Harry, I had no idea." She replied, tears swelling in her eyes. "Narcissa told me you asked about me."

"I felt the worst I had ever felt. I was immature, and mum and dad would have been disappointed." Harry admitted.

Y/n shook her head, finally letting the tears fall at the thought of her parents. "Harry, no, please. They would be so proud of you for everything. I'm so sorry about everything I said as well. I just need to know if you hate me." She begged, looking into his matching eyes.

"I never hated you, not for a minute. I was mad but I was also stupid and prejudice." Harry told her, finally allowing her to relax. Y/n pulled him in for a hug without thinking about it. "I missed you so much." Harry was sobbing too, hot tears on Y/n's back.

"I missed you too. Ron and Hermione and the Weasley's too." Y/n told him, pulling back. "Would you maybe want to hang out sometime. Talk?"

Harry couldn't nod quick enough. "Yes, please. I'd really like that. We've missed a lot of time."

Y/n pulled him back in for another hug. It was like the two puzzle pieces were finally together. The part of her heart that was missing was now filled.

"Is your scar okay?" Y/n asked, running her left forefinger over Harry's forehead.

Harry nodded, glancing up at her finger. He noticed the ring. Harry grabbed Y/n's hand, examining it in front of her. "Oh my." He exclaimed.

"Please don't be mad." Y/n winced, breath shortening.

"No, not at all," Harry told her. "I just want to be a part of your life. Draco's as well." He told her honestly. Y/n had never felt better than she did right then.

"Thank you," Y/n told him. "Are you with Ginny?" She couldn't help but ask.

Harry smiled as he nodded. "Yeah. This ring is phenomenal though." Harry mentioned, smiling as he met Y/n's eyes.

"I know." Y/n agreed a giddy smile on her face.

Today just might have been the best day of her life. She had a twin brother she spoke to and an amazing fiancee. Life was perfect.

[alicanta77]

NCT Dream Reaction: You wearing their shirt

Mark:

it takes him a while to realise that it’s his shirt you’re wearing

so it’s only a couple of hours into the day where he noticed and did a triple take

but as soon as he did realise

mark would absolutely stop functioning

goes wide eyed like a deer in highlights

but since he hasn’t mentioned it throughout the day, you just assumed he didn’t think it was a big deal

and now he’s staring at you with his mouth hanging slightly open like a fish out of water

“is that my shirt?” *he finally manages to ask*

“you’ve just noticed?” *you ask in disbelief*

he just blinks at you a couple of times, confused as to how he didn’t see that it was his shirt you were wearing

and now he’s incredibly aware of how good it looks on you

and how he secret hopes you never take it off

this would be one moment where it hits mark like a truck just how much he loves you

and how he never wants to let you go

Renjun:

i cannot even describe how soft this would make him

he just melts into the biggest pile of uwu as soon as he sees you

he walks straight up to you and pinches your cheeks

he just loves the way it fits you

no matter what mood he is in or what has happened before

you can always make renjun smile by appearing in his shirt

there’s just something about seeing you in his clothes that makes his heart beat faster than before

buys clothes with you in the back of his mind cause he knows whatever he buys you will wear

and gets excited when he sees you in a new shirt compared to one you usually wear

makes a mental note of what your favourite shirts of his are and he brings them with him when you’re having a bad day/in need of cuddles

a cuddle session is suddenly not complete without you in one of his shirts/hoodies

is one to tell you not to ask to borrow them and just to take it

he is NEVER going to be anything other than over the moon to see his beautiful s/o in his clothes

he’s completely and utterly whipped for you and moments like this make him realise just how much

Jeno:

EYE SMILE LEVEL 10000000++++

would not be able to stop himself from grinning like an idiot

literally stops mid sentence just to smile at you in his clothes

“.... jeno? what were you saying?” *you ask confused*

*realises he's completely forgotten* “you’re pretty” *cue your blush*

his mind had like 20594725 things on it and suddenly all he can think is “holy damn i love them”

tries to find reasons for you to wear his shirt more often

but is not subtle at all, literally anytime you need to wear something he offers

you’re going to sleep? wear his shirt

you’re going on a walk? wear his shirt

you’re staying at home all day doing nothing? wear his shirt

also the protectiveness pops out

cause he likes seeing you in his clothes

it just screams to anyone that sees it that you’re his

and also he likes it because it also proves it to himself

that someone as amazing as you is actually his s/o

cause he sometimes has trouble believing he’s that lucky

Hyuck:

would definitely tease you first

calls you a little thief

asks you why you don’t wear your own clothes, and asks if you have any

whines and claims he was going to wear that shirt he wasn’t

just to hide how much he loves the sight of you in it

and so that you don’t notice how the sight of you walking past him in his shirt caused him to die in his game

but it’s not his fault it’s just you look so amazing in his clothes that it’s distracting

like jeno he finds any excuse for you to wear his clothes

but he’s very blunt about it

doesn’t wait for you to need something to wear

literally sees you and goes “hmmmm why don’t you wear this? it’ll look better with those jeans” and hands you a shirt of his to wear

but the smile on his face when you put it on makes you want to only wear his clothes for as long as you live

but hyuck would gladly let you

every time you put on his shirt when he offers it he can’t help but just think that this is all he wants

just to have you with him, wearing his clothes, and loving him as much as he loves you

Jaemin:

becomes the human form of the heart eye emoji

carries on talking/doing what he was before

but just with a growing smile on his face

immediately grabs his camera/phone to take a million photos of you

his favourite photo of you is the one that he has saved as home screen

and it’s you making pancakes in the morning, smiling down at the pan dressed in his shirt

it makes him smile and think of how lucky he is to have you every time he opens his phone

like renjun he makes a note of which shirts you like to wear the most

and leaves them for you when he goes away on tour

or offers you them when you’re having a bad day or need one to wear

subconsciously buys hoodies and shirts that are a similar shape/style so that he knows you’ll wear it

has a folder titled <3 in his phone of you wearing his shirts and clothing in general

goes through it any time he misses you and it always puts him in a better mood

but nothing brightens his mood like facetiming you and seeing you in his clothes

he swears in that moment he falls in love with you all over again

Chenle:

does a double take when he sees you

“oh look they’re wearing my shirt”

“OH LOOK THEY’RE WEARING MY SHIRT”

and then would not be able to stop himself from smiling

his eyes follow you literally everywhere you go

this is incredibly distracting if he’s on live and needs to act professional

he’s would find his so distracting cause you’re practically announcing to the world that you’re his

even though the only ones who sees this are him and daegal

oh god if you’re wearing his shirt AND holding his dog?

that may be the moment chenle knows he’s set for life

but he won’t be so obvious and instead accuses you of stealing his clothes

and just offers to buy you a store of shirts instead

but his entire defence melts off him when you say to him “but i like yours cause they smell like you...”

and he just HAS to hug you

and kiss you on the nose to see you smile

doesn’t know what power you’ve got over him, but he’s okay with it since you make him happier than he’s ever been

Jisung:

goes through about 5137492 emotions and reactions in 30 seconds

blushes and gets nervous and can’t remember what he was going to say

then looks at how his shirt looks on you and is just filled with so much love

then can’t stop smiling because you’re so beautiful and you’re his s/o and he’s so lucky

and then gets nervous again cause it hits him that it’s his shirt you’re wearing

and then falls in love again cause it’s his shirt you’re wearing

and this circle repeats for quite a while

he eventually comes to settle in a general state of “i love you”

walks up to you

pulls on the shirt slightly and raises an eyebrow while smiling

“i think i recognise this” *he grins*

“... you should i bought it for you” *you reply*

pouts at your reply until you laugh and wrap your arms around him

“is it okay that i’m wearing it?” *you ask nervously hoping he isn’t annoyed you didn’t ask*

“it’s the best thing you’ve done all day” *cue forehead kisses*

[archived-kin]

simeon with a himbo boyfriend

note from kin: once again i am writing for the boys because this fandom doesn’t have nearly enough content for them, especially for Big and Beefy Men. let them be in dating sim fandoms too!!!!!! give them more content!!!!!

anyway i’ve made you an angel since i don’t want to have to think about the deeper repercussions of what simeon dating a human would be (i mean we all know what happened to lilith when she tried it)

fandom: obey me!

character(s): male!reader, simeon, luke, belphegor, beelzebub, asmodeus, satan, leviathan, mammon, lucifer, barbatos, diavolo, solomon

pairing(s): simeon/reader but it accidentally becomes everyone/simeon’s boyfriend at some point whoops (this ended up as a pretty big block of text as a result so please let me know if you have difficulty reading it so that i can try to format it better!)

warning(s): nope!

genre: fluff!!!! fluff everywhere!!!!!!!!!

simeon thinks you’re the cutest goddamn thing in all three realms

you may be six foot four inches of muscle but to him that is six foot four inches of ADORABLE

you’re very strong so he likes to just run and jump up at you from behind and wrap his arms around your neck because he knows you won’t be fazed by it (physically anyways, emotionally is another story)

the other angels always gasp when he does this in public because it’s so far from his usual ‘poised and elegant’ thing but how is simeon NOT supposed to climb all over you like a koala when you’re so big and huggable???

simeon just really loves jumping at you like that okay

because every time he does you’ll just pause for a second and look very confused as to why your back has suddenly gotten heavier, and then you’ll turn your head, and your smile and excited little ‘simeon!!’ is to DIE for

he has to be incredibly upfront with you about what he wants because otherwise you will not understand

he has to say, word for word, “i want to sleep in the same bed as you every day” before you actually realise that that’s what he meant

the whole exchange kind of went like this:

simeon, being sappy at like seven in the morning: “i want to wake up like this all the time from now on”

you: “??? do you want me to come lie down next to you before you wake up tomorrow morning?”

simeon: “no, for the whole night”

you: “you want to wake up like this for the whole night??”

simeon: [sighs]

he also often has to be the one taking charge when it comes to physical affection  

like you’re always willing to give him hugs and carry him around and let him sleep sprawled out on your chest like a starfish and give him kisses but half the time simeon has to ask you because for some reason you just won’t do it on your own???

at one point simeon starts getting a little insecure that you don’t actually really like physical affection and are just going along with it for him

because he’s a sensible angel, he brings this up with you before jumping to conclusions

he was not prepared for you to reply that you always wait for him to confirm that he wants affection because you’re afraid that you’ll accidentally hurt him with your strength if you go for it by yourself

simeon doesn’t cry a lot but dear god did he come close that day

after that it’s just hand holding and hugs and forehead kisses galore from you and simeon couldn’t be happier

now, it’s time for a bit of backstory

you were created purely to fight during the big celestial war, which is why you are so Beefy and Stupid

the beefy is because they needed you to be both strong and intimidating, while the stupid is because they didn’t create you with anything but fist fighting in mind

during the war you were a force to be reckoned with because you could just run at and headbutt a demon and they’d immediately be flung straight out of the skies and back into the devildom

and, even better, this meant that you didn’t have to kill anyone! you could just punt them so hard that they’d be flung out of the realm where the battle’s taking place entirely

once the war was over though they didn’t really know what to do with you

you were basically just this giant baby who didn’t know how to do anything but war

so they just dumped you in a garden and told you to take care of the flowers

which was how simeon originally met you! he was taking a walk around the gardens and saw you crying over a tree that you accidentally snapped in half with your big clumsy hands

now, simeon wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight, but HOLY FUCK

if he hadn’t already been an angel in the celestial realm he’d have thought you were some divine being from the heavens

anyway long story short simeon consoled you and started helping you take care of the garden, taught you how to live a life in times of peace, spent entire nights just lying awake and thinking about your smile and your laugh and how warm your hands look to hold and how it would feel to hug you, and finally managed to confess to you without you misconstruing it as just a Friendly Act of Kindness, and now you two are the proud holders of the title Cutest Couple in The Universe

granted only asmo calls you two that but you’ll take it

speaking of asmo allow me to segue this to the rad exchange programme era

you get so sad when simeon tells you he’ll have to leave for a year

your face falls when he breaks the news and your voice is all lost and quiet when you ask, ‘does that mean i can’t see you?’

simeon is absolutely devastated

it’s like a thousand puppies and kittens are being murdered right in front of him

he nearly cries (when i say nearly i mean he does)

but he can’t back out of the exchange program now, and one year isn’t THAT much for beings that live for possibly forever, so in the end, giving you a giant hug and about a million kisses to make up for the ones you’ll miss over the coming year, simeon leaves for the devildom

he makes it about a month and a half without you before he starts getting all mopey

and you’re not doing much better up in the celestial realm

michael actually has to message simeon and ask him how to deal with you because you spend every day dejectedly shuffling around the gardens that you take care of and it’s making everyone sad just looking at you

simeon reads that message and immediately decides that either he’s going back to the celestial realm or you’re coming down to the devildom

the authorities are a little cautious about it because you’re one of the purest angels they have and they really don’t want you getting corrupted by demons

but simeon assures them that the few demons that you’ll actually be having contact with wouldn’t do that, and you’ll be under both his and lord diavolo’s protection

so you end up being allowed to join simeon in the devildom for his exchange year!!!

honestly with the way the two of you react when you see each other again you’d think you hadn’t seen each other in years

simeon runs up to you and jumps straight into your arms and you spin him around in a big hug and ahhhhhhhh it’s like a teen romance movie but with an actually compelling relationship

and so you move into his bedroom (because of course you’re still going to share one down here) and take up a temporary position as a gardener to take up time since you can’t really do school

pros: simeon now gets to see you every day again and you look very cute bustling around the devildom’s fancy gardens with a watering can and wheelbarrow. also he gets to watch you lift an entire shed and it’s the best thing he’s ever seen

cons: the others are all basically in love with you now as well

simeon’s torn between ‘why wouldn’t they be, he’s literally the most perfect being ever’ and ‘what the fuck, that’s MY boyfriend’

belphie likes you because you are similar to beel and you’re also warm and big and strong so he can take naps on you and you won’t be bothered in the slightest

one day simeon sees belphie just jump onto your back and start sleeping there while you’re crouched in the garden doing some weeding and he’s so stunned by the sheer audacity that he forgets to be mad about it

honestly you don’t really notice that belphie is sleeping on you until you go to get up and feel something move on your back

and then, being the dumb precious idiot you are, you just lie face first there on the lawn so that he can carry on sleeping without being disturbed

consequence: simeon nearly cries at your sweetness but is also incredibly jealous and belphie is now having Feelings that he didn’t sign up for

beel meanwhile isn’t sure how to feel about you at first because he kind of feels like you’re stealing his twin all the time, but then you make him your special candied fruits (from produce that you grew yourself) and he loves you from that point forward

also PLEASE share your workout routine with him he wants to know your secret

it turns out that you don’t really have a workout routine?? you were just made like that

though the constant exercise and heavy lifting and stuff you do as part of your daily garden-care routine (you take care of basically all of the gardens back in the celestial realm) helps as well

he’s a bit disappointed but he does like that you can pick him up without any effort

one time he asked if you were capable of it and without missing a beat you went ‘let’s find out!’ and straight up swept him off his feet

beel was fucking screaming on the inside but no can’t feel feelings that’s simeon’s boyfriend

meanwhile asmo… okay we all know the way asmo is

boy took one look at you and immediately started drooling (figuratively anyway. physically his jaw just dropped)

kudos to him though, he backs off with the flirting as soon as simeon informs everyone that you’re his partner

asmo may be the avatar of lust but he is no home wrecker (he still finds an excuse to hug you every time he sees you though because awooga, muscles)

(he does know his boundaries so simeon doesn’t mind too much)

asmo also very likes the fact that you have such a green thumb because it means you can grow the prettiest flowers and you’re always willing to trim him a few to use as accessories

at some point simeon accidentally eavesdrops in on a conversation between the two of you where you’re just gushing about what kind of flowers he likes and how you’re going to plant them everywhere in the devildom because you like it when he smiles when he sees them

CRITICAL HIT!!!!!

simeon is pretty sure he combusts on the spot, while asmo is just squealing

thus was the origin of the title ‘Cutest Couple in the Universe’

satan on the other hand is mostly disinterested in you at first

the two of you live in pretty different worlds even if you live within the a five minutes’ walk of each other. he prefers to stay locked up in his room or the library and just curl up with a good book or ten for hours on end, while you’re always outside, digging flower beds and pruning bushes and cleaning fences and walls and basically doing every other little bit of manual labour that none of the brothers could be bothered to do before

he does note that you’re pretty good at what you do but that’s about it

until one day

you’re just pottering about in the garden outside the house of lamentation doing your angelic gardener thing when the stray cat that satan’s secretly been feeding for the past month or so comes by for its usual afternoon meal

satan has the window overlooking the garden so he quickly spots its ginger fur as well as you staring directly at it, and he immediately panics because what if you scare it away with your intimidating stature???

(yes, part of the reason satan doesn’t acknowledge you before this is because he was kind of scared of you and your muscles that he heard could punt beings out of entire realms back in your hey-day)

so he quickly dumps his book (though not without carefully bookmarking his place first) and rushes down to the garden in hopes of salvaging the situation, only to find you lying face first on the grass once again, though this time it’s not his little brother on your back

it’s the cat, who is purring like a little motor and aggressively kneading its paws against your back

satan can’t even see your face in this moment but he still basically gets cupid-shot in the heart because this is the cutest thing he’s ever seen

he has to force himself to calm down for a bit before he approaches lest he get overexcited and accidentally incur simeon’s wrath in the process

anyway after that satan makes a beeline for you every time he sees you and learns that you are an Absolute Idiot, but it just makes him like you even more

if satan was intimidated by you at first though, levi is downright terrified

you look like you could snap him in half with a single punch

he doesn’t try to talk to you at all for the first few weeks because how could he possibly find common ground to talk to you about?? you probably hunt dragons and eat rocks or something in your spare time

it isn’t until satan brings you up one day and mentions that you are incredibly dumb of the ass and probably couldn’t hurt a fly even if you tried that levi even entertains the idea of befriending you

he’s still not making the first move though

but it turns out that he doesn’t have to! one day you just show up at his bedroom door holding a giant crate of his latest akuzon haul

turns it got dropped off at the local post office after traffic problems and you volunteered to go pick it up and bring it back

anyway levi thanks you and starts unpacking his stuff, expecting you to leave in silence, but then he looks over and sees you just standing in front of his tv and staring at it

he’d been playing some battle platformer to pass the time before you showed up, and while levi himself doesn’t consider it particularly remarkable, you’re absolutely fascinated

being a gardener in the celestial realm you’ve never really had experience with this kind of thing, and you’re even more tech-illiterate than simeon, so what you’re seeing is basically like magic to you

so levi takes it upon himself to teach you as much about the art of gaming as he can in the short span of the next four hours before simeon gets home from a meeting of some kind and you inevitably immediately run off to greet him

you learn the basics relatively quickly but you’re still pretty awful at it

levi loses count of the amount of times you’ve accidentally run right off the end of the platform and fallen to your death once it reaches thirty two

it’s pretty much the most he’s laughed in, like, forever

congratulations! you have gained a new member in your party! levi will now follow you to the ends of the earth because you are the first person he feels like he can just be totally at ease around without being judged at all and just have fun with

(once, after you leave another gaming session to go cuddle with your boyfriend in the garden, levi catches himself thinking that ‘it isn’t fair that simeon gets to date him’ and has to do some serious self assessment)

mammon meanwhile has none of the reverence for you that his brother does

the amount of times he’s tried to rope you into his money-making schemes (which never work because he fails to realise that you are incapable of doing anything malicious in the slightest) is honestly just embarrassing at this point

simeon has to step in more than a couple of times because honestly mammon could ask you for your wallet and you’d probably just give it to him without another thought

that being said your wallet wouldn’t be much use because you never have any money

you just don’t understand the concept of exchanging money for goods and/or services so you never see any need for it

that being said, simeon does give you some money every time you go out into town on your own because something will inevitably catch your eye and you’ll suddenly realise that you just cannot live without it

the thing is simeon spoils you ridiculously so he always gives you way more money than would be considered a reasonable allowance

which means all mammon has to do is tag along and ask you nicely and you’ll probably buy him anything he wants

he does this a couple of times but then stops because he actually starts feeling bad about it

something just doesn’t sit right with him when he’s walking around with a bunch of shiny new things you’ve bought him with money that was meant to be spent on you while the only thing you’ve bought of your own volition is a pack of chocolate lollipops shaped like rabbits to share with simeon and luke

he may be the demonic avatar of greed but even he has a line that he won’t cross

he makes up for it by buying you things instead

nothing too expensive (he’s still mammon after all), just little things like sweets or bulbs for flowers you haven’t tried planting yet or food colouring for you to use for your candied fruits

speaking of those candied fruits, guess who loves and would probably kill a man for them?

lucifer

man may not seem like it but he has a hell of a sweet tooth

there was a bit of tension between the two of you when you first met (well there was tension from lucifer anyway) because he’d never met you like he had simeon and luke and had no idea what you were like

plus he’d heard about how you’re everyone’s favourite now back in the celestial realm and the little piece of him that still misses his life as an angel is a little petty about it

but then he interacts with you more and he realises that that favouritism is absolutely deserved

he will not admit it but he has wondered what being carried by you would feel like on multiple occasions

figures out how to read you really well which isn’t much of an achievement when you wear every single feeling you have on your sleeve but it still brings him a bit of satisfaction when he notices something that simeon doesn’t

he may be a pridey mcprideface but he is willing to give up a bit of that pride by pretending he can’t carry something heavy so that he can watch you do it

simeon acts like he doesn’t notice this but he absolutely does and he doesn’t know if he should tease lucifer about it or whack him over the head with a newspaper for it

all that aside though, much like simeon,  lucifer also thinks you’re just the cutest

he comes across you building a pillow fortress in the middle of the house of lamentation’s living room one day and is understandably like “what are you doing in my house and what are you doing with those pillows”

you explain very seriously that satan asked you for help in an apparently pre-arranged pillow fight with mammon and that every warrior needs a well-protected base of operations and offer to show him all the optimised battle features somehow recreated from nothing but cushions and blankets and chairs 

lucifer’s heart goes d o k i  d o k i

he also has experience with Big and Dumb men from dealing with both beel and diavolo (when the three of you are together it’s just himbo3) so the stupid doesn’t bother him much

speaking of diavolo (wow i am nailing all of these transitions from character to character look at me go)

this man is basically just a grown up golden retriever boy and you are a big gentle st. bernard so the two of you get along like a house on fire

you’ve seen how much this man gushes about lucifer. now imagine that times a thousand

that is how he talks about you

honestly sometimes you’d think HE’S the one dating you

simeon would probably get defensive if he didn’t get so much whiplash from their conversations about you

diavolo: “i must say, i never would have pinned [name] as being your type”

simeon, ready to Fucking Brawl: “excuse me?”

diavolo: “though i don’t blame you, have you seen his page in that book about the celestial war? the illustration does his true beauty no justice, of course, but it’s enchanting in and of itself. to be honest i’d have loved to have seen him in action during the war, i imagine it would have been quite breath-taking to see”

simeon: “…what”

barbatos is usually just there in the background during half of these exchanges and he has to seriously stiffen up his poker face to resist just bursting into laughter

the other half of the time the conversation is just simeon and diavolo going back and forth gushing about you

barbatos honestly dislikes you a bit at first

not for any personal faults of your own! it’s just that all your garden work + your very forgetful mind means that you’re often tracking dirt everywhere

it doesn’t help that diavolo keeps inviting you over to the castle for tea and a chat and half the time you leave these big footprints on the floor and he wants to cry because he just spent four hours mopping that

he mentions it to diavolo in passing at one point, who then passes the message on to simeon

barbatos kind of gets concerned for himself because he knows simeon does not take well to you being insulted (one time a demon at the r.a.d. called you an ‘unintelligent buffoon’ and he was ready to start a fist fight right then and there)

not that it was an insult, but you never know how love can blind you to reason

but simeon just assures him not to worry and tells you to remember to clean your shoes as well as changing clothes after doing some gardening

normally you’d forget being told these things within a few hours but simeon offers to give you a kiss every time you remember to do this so now you remember every single time you’re about to enter a building after doing some gardening

after that barbatos holds no ill will to you at all

he teaches you how to bake and is honestly so endeared by how clumsy you get in the kitchen

you knock an entire container of salt into the cake mix by accident because your hands are too big and you moved too fast and barbatos is just like 🥺

he low-key babies you even though he’s like an entire two heads shorter than you

you don’t mind though because getting babied by barbatos means you get given all sorts of cakes and sweets all the time

simeon isn’t sure how to feel about it but it doesn’t seem to be the patronising kind of babying (it’s more of an affectionate doting) so he lets it happen

what he doesn’t let happen is solomon’s relentless attempts to feed you his food

you are both too dumb and too nice to realise just how bad his cooking is, but simeon knows you have a sensitive stomach and are actually a pretty fussy eater - you just tend to stay quiet when something isn’t to your liking because you don’t want to complain

having had a sample of solomon’s food himself in the past, he knows that you’ll probably get sick eating it, and he doesn’t want you to be uncomfy so he refuses to let you try even a bite

it’s like he has a radar in his head that goes off every time solomon approaches you will a bowl of ‘noodle soup’ that looks more like something he’s fished out of a nuclear waste tank

solomon, when he’s not trying to indirectly poison you, is probably the guy you spend the most time with apart from simeon and luke

he’ll just hang around nearby with a spell book while you do your gardening and show you some neat little magic tricks every now and then

he tries to help with the gardening but he’s not exactly physically strong and he nearly breaks his back trying to lift a giant bag of compost

so he decides it’s probably better for him to just watch from afar

kind of wants to conduct an experiment to see just how much weight you can lift before you start getting tired

one time he sees you cut down a whole tree with one hard swat of your hand and just walk off carrying it over your shoulder and he has to take several deep breaths

luke knew you already, so not much changes while you’re in the devildom

he really wants to learn to make candied fruits the same way you do but he can never get the hang of boiling the sugar mixture to the right heat and consistency (plus he’s kind of scared of how hot it gets)

you like to just carry him around on your shoulders and while luke would normally bristle at being treated like a child, you act like this with nearly everyone

(once he sees you running around the garden with diavolo of all people perched on your shoulders, arms raised in the air like he’s on a rollercoaster ride, and he nearly passes out on the spot)

he seriously adores you and acts like a guard dog whenever he feels like any of the others are trying to take advantage of your dim-witted naïveté because NO demons are allowed to harm his big brother like that

he will also chase them off with a stick if he has to if they get too close because no being is allowed to even remotely try to disrupt your relationship with simeon 

simeon himself is no fool, and he’s well aware of the effect you have on pretty much everyone you come across, but he trusts them because they’re his friends

besides (and he isn’t being cocky or anything), it’s not like the relationship you have with them even holds a candle to what you have with him

they’ve all known you for less than a year, he’s loved you for nearly two millennia

they might be allowed take naps on your back while you work or be carried about on your shoulders, but do they get to spend every night snuggled up in your arms, feeling your chest rise and fall with every breath you take? no, he doesn’t think so

in conclusion: one day himbos like you will probably take over the world with their big muscles and unwavering loyalty and clueless grins that could make anyone’s heart skip a beat, and simeon’s pretty sure he’d be okay with it

[xhopelesslyromanticx]

hey! how are you? <3 can i request a mason mount one where he and y/n are secretly fwb, but she decides to stay away from him bc she realises her feelings for him, but then one night mason is really drunk and calls her saying he misses what they had and doesnt understand why she get away from him and really likes her

Happier than ever? - Mason Mount x Reader

This is kinda long. I did change it a little to fit the song, I hope it’s okay and you enjoy.

Masterlist

Warnings: toxic behavior, drunk driving, mentions of panic attack

summary: In which just when she has finally moved on, Mason sneeks his way back into her life. Based on Billie Eilishs „Happier than ever“

When I’m away from you

I’m happier than ever

It all started off quite simple; you were introduced to Mason through a mutual friend, who was best friends with his friend and teammate Ben. Lillian had known Ben since they were literal kids, being neighbors and later even sharing a flat.

Lillian had never been interested in Ben or vice versa. Partly because Lillian was gay and also because it was always more important to them to preserve their friendship.

Game nights, going to clubs and watching movies basically every spare Friday night, soon became you reality.The four of you becoming best friends shortly after.

Lillian and Ben having made it very clear that it was important that Mason and you’d not get involved romantically. Ben having told Mason to not even think about it and Lillian having scolded you about the importance of friendship.

And at first it was easy. You didn’t even think of Mason in that way at all. He was just your very good friend.

Until that one night, were everything changed. You hadn’t known it then but you going over to his house after Lillian and Ben had cancelled on hanging out, both having to work on the weekend, was the beginning of the end.

Mase and you had quite a bit to drink. Taste testing his collection of fancy wines when your conversation suddenly took a weird twist.

„This one smells awful.“ Mason slurred, holding the glass of red wine under his nose before twirling it around and taking a sip.

You giggled at the sight of him acting like a posh fifty year old guy on some wine tasting excursion.

„Oh wait.“ he stopped, raising his eyebrows and sitting up straight on the couch again. The flickering lights of the candle on the coffeetable reflecting in his eyes. „It’s actually not that bad.“

„Really?“ you asked also sitting up, your face only being a few inches away from his as you adjusted the blanket on your lap.

„Yes, try some.“ Mason grabbed the wine from the table that was filled with glasses and open bottles. He refilled the glass, spilling some before holding it to your mouth and letting you take a sip.

You shoved it away, when he didn’t stop as you wiped the corner of your mouth. Mason watching your movements closely as you licked your lips. It was actually quite tasty.

„You have nice lips.“ Mason stated, staring at your lips as you blushed and nervously shifted around on the couch. Uncomfortable with his gaze on you.

„I’m sorry.“ Mase chuckled, shaking his head as if he was trying to get rid of a thought „When I drink... I tend to say the craziest stuff.“

„Don’t be.“ you smiled weakly, trying to reassure him as his eyes met yours again. And then something switched in you. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe even the fact that you hadn’t slept with anyone in a while. But suddenly you felt this rush and attraction towards your friend.So your ashamed to say that it was you, who made the first move.

„Maybe it isn’t crazy.“ you mumbled, Mason looking at you suprised „Maybe this doesn’t have to be a big deal.“

That was the first night you had slept with Mason. With many more to come after you both agreed that it would be only sex and no feelings.

And it really worked. It was good for about three months. Just casually hooking up and not having to do any of the hard stuff like dating and actually working on a relationship. And the fact that both of you were in the public eye, with Mason being a famous footballer and you an upcoming actress, made it so much easier not to have to go out officially.

But then after a while, you noticed yourself longing for those hard parts. You noticed yourself wanting to stay over longer and wanting to cuddle Mason after having sex. You wanted to wake up with him and make breakfast. You wanted to go get groceries and drive around in his car. You wanted to go on dates. You wanted a relationship. Because you had fallen for him.

And now six months later you were sitting in you car alone, listening to your favorite songs. Finally having started to sing along again like you used to.

The road till here had been long but it was worth it. After having fought so hard to forget about him, you could finally say that you had moved on. You were fine. You were happy again.

Wish I could explain it better

I wish it wasn’t true

Lillian and Ben both still had no idea what happened between you and Mason. Or so you thought. They did notice you trying to avoid Mason and eventually after you had cancelled on them for long enough they just stop asking you to hang out.

You did often see them on instagram, going out and having fun. You would lie if you said that it didn’t hurt to see them move on. But you also couldn’t blame them as it was you that had basically cut them off without a real explanation.

Mason had called you and messaged you all the time in the beginning. Asking if everything was alright and if you were okay. You ignored most of it, knowing this was the only way to do it.

You told Mason that you needed some space, wishing you could explain it to him. After that he didn’t ever bother you again. And it did make you kinda sad that he didn’t seem to care much. But then again you also wished you hadn’t fallen for him.

Give me a day or two

To think of something clever

Avoiding Mason had been going quite well. It was now Fall and you hadn’t really talked to him since the beginning of Summer.

But then one day, after you had just gotten home from filming all day a black envelope laid on the ground in front of your apartment door.

Mason and Bens Halloween Party

You were quite suprised that you had been invited. As it had been a while since you'd seen either of them.After thinking about it, you figured that Mason had probably just tried to be nice. Maybe he even felt pressured by all his fans asking why the four of you didn’t hang out anymore in his instagram comments. You even had to turn of yours as people only were speculating and it was tiring to keep reading the guys name.

Now you only had to think about the perfect excuse to not show up at this party.

To write myself a letter

To tell me what to do

You had gone back and forth about whether or not you should attend. It was probably the fact that you really missed you friends, that made you even give it a second thought.

Seeing Mason was just gonna be hard. So you had to come up with an idea on how to possible make it less awkward and easier. That’s when it hit you; the perfect plan.

Do you read my interviews? Or do you skip my avenue?

On your way to Masons house your mind wandered off, going through all the stages of your friendship and trying to figure out where it all went so wrong.Was it the night that Mason and you first slept together? Or was it when you started falling for him?

See what you hadn’t mentioned yet was, that you didn’t just cut off Mase because you were in love with him. No, you cut him off because he was clearly not in love with you. He had dated and slept with at least a dozen of other women while you two had your thing.

He always thought it was the same for you but it obviously wasn’t. When you weren’t with him, you were to busy balling your eyes out and thinking about him and these other girls. At some point it hurt too much. It hurt too bad. Did he still think about you? Or had he just moved on like it had been nothing?

When you said you were passing through, was I even on your way?

You remembered one time though. One day where you had felt that maybe Mason felt the same way as you did as he had come over after one of his matches.

It was a rainy Saturday evening and you were surprised by the doorbell ringing, not having expected anyone. Dressed in just a bathrobe, you opened the door, revealing a crying Mason. He entered your apartment sobbing uncontrollably. Your heart broke at the sight of it as you tried to comfort him.

Mason was clearly drunk and talked a lot of weird stuff. You dried him off with a towel as he had been out in the rain while listening to him. They had lost the game and he felt like a complete failure. But it wasn’t only that, he also mentioned that he had feelings for some girl and that she didn’t return them.

Somewhere in your mind you had hoped it was you. You really did. But then when you woke up the next day and he was gone, you knew it wasn’t you. It couldn’t be.

Silly, silly you really thought that this night was gonna be different. You would attend the Halloween party and realize you were over Mason and finally get to hang out with your friends again.You even brought a date, to distract you from the fact that Mason was probably gonna make out with a bunch of girls.

Your eyes first fell on Ben and Lillian, both dressed in red overalls and a Salvador Dali mask in their hands like the characters from Money heist. You and your date had opted for a different Netflix show, both of you wearing green tracksuits inspired by the new hit show Squid Game. Obviously you were number 067, paying tribute to your favorite character.

Your date and you had already gushed over how much you liked the show via Instagram. He had slid in your dm's a couple of weeks ago and you two immediately hit it off. It was natural and easy. So he suggested you’d go out sometime. And you thought the Halloween party would be the perfect night for that.

The house was filled to the brim with people and it was decorated like a full on movie set. Every corner having different scary sculptures from everyones favorite movies and books and the light setting and music adjusting too each theme.

The front yard that also decorated with all kinds of pumpkins, twinkly lights and candles leading to the big house. Where you had spent a lot of nights just six months ago.

„Mase did a sick job.“ your date gushed as he looked around the room at all the decorations, holding your hand while people shoved past you. You didn’t recognize most of them as everbody was dressed up and masked.

„Yeah.“ you smiled weakly, feeling overwhelmed by the huge crowd around you. You weren't a big fan of parties.

„Oh wait!“ the guy now said, pointing at something as you squinted your eyes „That’s actually the sickest costume!"

There was a guy sitting in the corner, surrounded by a bunch of people, dressed all in black like the Frontman in Squid Games. Mask and all, making it impossible to recognize who he was.

Before you could even say anything your date dragged you through the mass of people as you headed towards the masked guy that seemed to be the center of attention. A circle had formed around him, everyone listening closely to what he was saying. His voice being altered, true to the character in the movie. Whoever this was had put a lot of effort into his costume.

Then suddenly everything happened super quickly. The guy was in the middle of his story when his eyes must have fallen on you because next thing you knew he took his mask off and looked at you stunned.

„Y/n?“ Mason asked with furrowed brows as everyones attention fell on you.

You wanted to say something but where to startled to. Luckily your date, noticed you squeezing his hand and came to the rescue.

„Mason! Sick costume.“ Jesse yelled over the music as people started to mind their own business again, seeing this was not anything exciting.

„Jesse!“ Mason was now stood in front of you, acting nonchalant as he looked Jesse and you up and down stopping at your intertwined hands.

Yes, you maybe forgot to mention that Jesse was your date. But then again, it wasn’t like this was any kind of problem. It wasn’t like there was some sort of bro code; Mason and you never really dated.

„What are you two doing here?“ Mason chuckled, clearly acting weird.

„Ah, I hope it’s okay that I came.“ Jesse said, scratching his head being totally oblivious to what Mason really was asking. He wanted to know why the two of you were here together. „I was just gonna spend the weekend here with Y/n and she invited me.“

Mason nooded as Jesse went one about how great his house was, the guy clearly not paying him attention as he stared at you. You could see that he was confused and he also looked disappointed. He had changed up his hair a little. You liked it.

You looked right back at him as the world seemed to go in slow motion. How weird to be so close to someone yet so far away. How weird to go from friends to strangers.

I knew when I asked you to be cool about what I was telling you

You’d do the opposite of what you said you’d do

And I’d end up more afraid

Mason shut the door of the small broom closet with a loud bang, making you jump before turning around to face the fuming guy.

„I can’t believe you.“ he hissed, the lightbulb flickering as his face was only a few inches away from you.

The room was very small and it seemed like Mason stored all kinds of crap in here barely leaving space for the two of you. You could clearly smell his cologne, the two of you had bought it together. So he still wore it.

After Jesse had went and gotten drinks, Mason immediately grabbed your arm and pulled you through the mass of people, ignoring all of them as they greeted him. You didn’t say anything when he basically dragged you across the room and you didn’t say anything when he locked you in a closet but now; Well now you were just pissed.

„Excuse me?“ you yelled, hearing the muffled party noises from outside the door.

„You basically cut me out of your life and then you have the guts to show up at my house... with Jesse!“ Mason shook his head, throwing his mask against the concrete wall. You flinched at his sudden outburst and you could see Masons face soften for a second.

„It’s not like that and you know it Mason.“ you now said, your voice trembling as your eyes started to fill with tears.

„Then what is it like? Huh?“ he hissed, looking at you in disgust „Aren’t you just sleeping your way through the whole nationalteam?“

You felt like someone had grabbed your heart and ripped it out without hesistating. Tears now slipping down your cheeks as you looked at the brown headed guy, who didn’t seem to regret his words.

„Wow…“ you chocked, wiping your tears away „Just wow Mason!“

With that your hand turned the knob on the door as you entered the busy and loud hallway again. Just when you were about to walk off into the mass of people, you felt Masons hand on your shoulder hold you back.

„Don’t touch me!“ you yelled, turning around and looking at a shocked Mason „Do not ever touch me again!“

„Fine I won’t... But you have to explain why you did this!“ he yelled back, the music too loud for anyone to notice „Are you trying to hurt me or something?“

„What?“ you asked confused, shaking your head „You’re the one that invited me Mason!“

„No!“ he hissed, looking confused as realization hit you „That’s the thing; I didn’t invite you. So I don’t understand why you showed up here. And then with Jesse out of all people…“

You didn’t hear anything else. You just turned around and walked away. The neon lights and loud music making it impossible for anyone to notice you were crying. As you wrapped your arms around yourself, walking through the people and trying not to have a full on panic attack.

On your way out you passed Ben and Lillian both talking to Jesse, who was holding two drinks in his hands. When the three of them saw you, you could immediately tell; They all knew. Lillian and Ben had probably just realized that you had brought Jesse which interfered with their plan.

You now understood that they had been the ones to invite you. Because they knew about what happenend. Mason must have told them or they had figured it out after you cut them off.

„Y/n wait!“ Lillian shouted but it was too late. You were long gone.

Don’t say it isn’t fair

You clearly weren’t aware that you made me miserable

That was it now. You officially knew that Mason and you were done for good. After the hurtful things he said, you didn't think you could ever forgive him and in all honesty after thinking about it, you were okay with it.

You had settled in your new life without him perfectly fine. You were shooting a new project and you had established an amazing relationship with your family and friends. God, you had even started dating again.So Halloween was just a little set back, nothing more.

„I truly think he just didn’t understand Y/n.“ Lillian spoke into the phone, as you walked through the isle of the supermarket.

You sighed, picking out some sugary cereal and throwing it into the cart. After the party Lillian had texted you and the two of you started to talk again. She apologized for not consulting you about the invitation and Mason not knowing.You forgave her, knowing she and Ben only wanted the best for the two of you.

You also apologized to her for cutting her off with no real explanation. Telling her it wasn't ever about her or Ben.

You had realized that Mason still had no clue why you had turned away from him. He didn’t know that you had been in love with him. He was completely oblivious to it, so of course he felt like you were being unfair.

So if you really wanna know

When I’m away from you

I’m happier than ever

„Wow…“ you gushed, smiling at Jesse as he walked towards you in the tunnel „You did amazing!“

Jesse wrapped his arms around you with a big smile plastered on his face as his teammates all walked past you. You had just watched Manchester United play and win, Jesse even scoring a goal. You were extremely happy for him, knowing this meant al lot.

„Thank you for coming.“ Jesse smiled, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear as you giggled. Jesse connected your lips and you sighed into the kiss before you both agreed on meeting up at your hotel later.

So you entered the cold December night and your driver took you back to your hotel.

Everything seemed surreal as you got ready. Dancing and twirling around in your room as white snowflakes started falling outside. The streets being full with football fans, celebrating their victory and every corner being lit up with Christmas decorations.

And in that blissful moment. Just when everything was perfectly fine again. Your phone rang and it was a call that would change everything once again.

You called me again, drunk in your Benz

Driving home under the influence

„Yes?“ you asked with furrowed eyebrows as you picked up the phone, not recognizing the number.

„Y/n?“ he slurred into the phone as you immediately realized it was Mason, having deleted his number after the Halloween party.

„Mason?“ you asked, confused on why he was calling you. It had been two months since you last heard from him.

„I saw you…“ Mason said, his voice sounding slow and emotionless „At the game.“

You sighed, realizing he probably saw it on the news that you had attended todays game. The media having already started speculating about Jesse and you. But now you weren’t worried about that. No, you were more worried about the fact that Mason sounded clearly drunk and you could hear a car engine in the background.

„Mason are you driving?“ you asked worriedly, trying not to panic.

„Are you and Jesse together?“ Mason ignored you, sounding really upset and confirming your theory that he was drunkenly driving right now.

„Mason…“ you paced up and down the room, starting to freak out „Look, you shouldn’t drive like this!“

„Is he with you right now?“ is all Mason asked as you started texting Lillian and Ben, putting Mason on speaker phone.

„Mason…“ you tried to speak calmly, running your hand through your hair „Can you pull over somewhere?“

„Only if you answer my questions.“ Mason slurred, as you ran your hand through your hair nervously.

„No he’s not!“ you yelled, not knowing what to do ad overwhelmed by the whole situation. You took a deep breath, knowing you had to calm down in order for him to listen „Alright Mason? Can you pull over now?“

„Yes…“ Mason said, and there was a moment of silence before he spoke again „Okay, I pulled over.“

„Okay that’s great Mason!“ you said, relieved he was safe for now „Can you tell me your location Mase?“

Talking to someone in this stage was like talking to a little kid. It was extremely frustrating but you were too worried to think about your anger for right now, trying to get Masons location, so you could tell Ben and Lillian where to get him.

„I’m at the gas station. Right by the big diner. I don’t know the adress though.“ Masons voice sounded weak and you could tell he was really unwell.

„That’s fine Mason.“ you reassured him, knowing where he was and immediately texting Ben.

Ok. I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Make sure he stays put.

You scared me to death, but I’m wasting my breath

‚Cause you only listen to your fucking friends

You were stressed out, trying to calm Mason down as he started crying and telling you all kind of stuff. It was typical. Typical drunk Mason.

„I’m so sorry!“ Mason chocked, making you sigh as you slowly lost your patience „Sorry about what Mason?“

„About everything.“ he explained as you were sat on the hotel room floor and stared out the window emotionlessly „About treating you like shit and not fighting for you.“

You didn’t say anything, knowing he would probably just forget about this anyways. Sick of wasting your time and energy.

„It’s just… I really, really miss you Y/n.“ he chocked and you could feel a lump in your throat „And I don’t understand why you cut me off like that. I just have been trying to understand and all my friends said I should just forget about you. So I really tried to but I can’t because...I love you.“

It was dead silent. The snowfall had stopped outside and Manchester was lit up in all it’s colors as the streets were now empty. You looked at your reflection in the glass of your window; All dressed up and makeup done only to sit on the ground.From you room you had the perfect view over the street. So when you saw Jesse hop out of a car, give his keys to the driver tears started to roll down your face.

„Y/n?“ Mason asked and you could tell he had started to calm down „Are you okay?“

I don’t relate to you

I don’t relate to you, no

„Mason why are you telling me all of this now?“ you asked, your voice at the verge of breaking.

„Because I thought you should know.“ he answered as you wiped away your tears, standing up and feeling extremely weak.

„But it’s too late now Mase.“ you chocked and then just at the same time your hotel room door was opened. Jesse was let in by some hotel staff, as he appeared in your room all suited up and the biggest smile on his face „Are you ready hun?“

„Is that him?“

„Mason what the fuck dude!“ you could now hear the car door being opened and a guy start to yell at Mason „You could kill someone! What the fuck is wrong with you!“

Ben, thank god. You could see Jesse look at you with confusion as you just stood there, looking like you had seen a ghost.

„Y/n? I got this now. Sorry for ruining your night.“ Ben spoke into the phone and next thing you knew you heard beeping. Ben had hung up.

And you were left with the same feeling you felt all these months ago. You were emotionally drained. Once again.

Cause I’d never treat me this shitty

You make me hate this city

On your way back home from Manchester you got a call from Lillian, asking about what had happened and if you were okay. You reassured Lillian that you were fine and that you had a great time with Jesse.

Which wasn’t really the truth. Because when Mason called and told you everything he pulled you back into the same toxic spiral you had been in all these months ago. How could he do this to you? He couldn’t truly love you because if it were you, you’d be happy that he was doing well. He probably just wanted you because you had now moved on. It was just one of his twisted fantasies, to get with a girl that was in a relationship.

You did not want to go home, already missing Jesse but knowing you had work in London this week.

And I don’t talk shit about you on the internet

Never told anyone anything bad

A week later Jesse and you decided to become instagram official. Seeing as everyone already speculated and the two of you were both seriously committed to making it work. After having plenty of conversations about how you both had been hurt in the past. You both came with your baggage.

You announced that you were dating with a photo that Marcus had taken when you went out one night; the two of you were sitting in the back of a limousine and your head was resting on Jesses shoulder as he kissed the back of your hand.

Jesse posted it on his instagram with the caption;

My everything.

And the next few days where blissful. Everyone congratulating the two of you and many fans being super supportive. Of course there where also people that were confused as they had been set on the fact that you had a thing with Mason. But you just shrugged them off and told Jesse to ignore them. Not having told him the truth about what happened with Mason while you were in Manchester.

Jesse did know about the rest of it. After Halloween it wasn’t hard for him to figure. But you knew if you told him what Mason did now, he would be absolutely pissed and you didn’t want to cause any drama between the two of them.

But then one morning you woke up with your phone blowing up. Friends and family all having you sent the same article. A dailymail headline story;

Actress Y/n Y/l/n and her trail of football stars.

You couldn’t believe you eyes when your read the article. It was making you look like you were a whore and the worst part was that one line.

When we asked Mason Mount, who has been linked to the actress numerous times, about his thoughts on the actress dating his teammate Jesse Lingard, he told the Daily Mail quote;

„Knowing both Jesse and Y/n, personally, I don’t think it’s gonna last.“

Cause that shit’s embarrassing, you were my everything

And all that you did was make me fucking sad

You shut your car door with a loud bang, dressed in only your pajamas as you stomped towards the house angrily. Holding a copy of the article that had laid in front of your door this morning.

You had been sad for so long but now all you felt was anger as you started banging on Masons front door. Ringing the doorbell in between as you yelled his name „Mason open the fucking door!"

Mason was still sound asleep when he heard the loud banging at his front door. Completely lost and still not fully awake, he made his way downstairs while throwing on a t-shirt as he was only wearing his boxers.He opened the door rubbing his eyes and immediately was hit in the face by a newspaper.

„Ouch!“ the brown haired guy yelled, now seeing you stand in front of him.

And Mason immediately saw the anger on your face as well as that you looked like you had just woken up yourself.

„You fucking dick!“ you cursed, suprising yourself at the choice of words as you weren’t usually one to use that kinda language.

„What?“ Mason hissed, not understanding a single thing.

„I’m so sick of your bullshit Mason.“ you yelled, Mason understanding your frustration as he looked at the newspaper on the floor „I’m so sick of it!“

So don’t waste the time I don’t have

Don’t try to make me feel bad

„I’m sorry.“ Mason scratched his head, not knowing what to say or do to make this any better. He did regret ever giving that statement and his management had tried so hard to keep the Dailymail from printing the article. He had messed up badly and he knew it.

„You’re sorry?“ you chuckled, obviously being sarcastic as you felt like you were losing your mind „Well that makes everything better!“

„You have to understand where I was coming from Y/n.“ Mase now whined, running his hand through his hair „I was just so upset about Jesse and you after you had dropped me like that. I mean I was madly in love with you…“

„Mason are you serious?“ you shook your head, not believing him right now „You are seriously trying to tell me you did this because you love me? What the fuck is wrong with you!“

„You don’t know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t want you!“

You started laughing and shaking your head, Mason probably thought you were absolutely nuts „I don’t know what it’s like? Mason, I had been in love with you for so long.“

I could talk about every time that you showed up on time

But I’d have an empty line, ‚cause you never did

Mason didn’t say anything. Understanding that this changed everything. It all made sense to him now, you weren’t an asshole that had just cut him off. You did it because you were in love with him.

„I was so in love with you.“ you chocked, feeling sad when you thought about all the time you had wasted „And you didn’t see it. You were too busy living your life and going out with all these other girls to ever see that I was... right there.“

„I–“ he stuttered, knowing this now made him look bad „I didn’t know.“

You ruined everything good

Always said you were misunderstood

„See?“ you wiped your tears away, looking him in the eyes „I don’t think you were ever madly in love with me Mason. Because if you knew what that was, you wouldn’t have done all of this. I think you just got bitter when you realized you couldn’t have me anymore.“

Mason stayed silent. Not even sure what he was feeling anymore. He had ruined everything and there was no coming back from this one.

Made all my moments your own

Just fucking leave me alone

„So this is it now Mason. Okay?“ you said weakly, feeling your cheeks burn it the cold winter air as your tears fell on the ground „Can you just leave it be now? Can you promise that? Just fucking leave me alone!“

The guy hesistated for a second before nodding. Giving you the answer that you needed. And with that you turned around and walked back to your car.

Knowing; This was it.

[demonicheadcanons]

Haha and okay I just saw that your askbox is open and read your rules, so if you don't mind, could I please request some hcs for Beel, Mammon, Asmo and Belphie and how they like to cuddle with mc? Cuddle hcs basically lol. If four is too many please feel free to adjust this! Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day 🥰

The Obey Me Brothers: Cuddling / Sleeping Headcanons

AN: Sorry this took a while!! I decided to write for all the brothers because I have a tiny rough draft of cuddle headcanons back from like, the first week I started the game. Mammon’s was the first I came up with, and I filled in the rest from my impressions of the boys from the first 4 lessons. They’ve evolved since then, and I hope they’re alright!! Take care 💙

Brother x reader writing style. Gender neutral reader as always. Written on mobile primarily so excuse any formatting mistakes please ;u; I only go on PC to add finishing touches and a read more

Some things may come off as suggestive, but aren’t really intended that way except for Asmo’s - this is fluff through and through

Lucifer

- Ideal cuddles: Likes to have you lay on his chest in his bed. He doesn’t want his brothers intruding and annoying him or pulling his attention away from you, so his room works best. There’s something about being able to look down and immediately see you there that almost gives him butterflies. It settles him immediately. He’s canonically not a morning demon, but waking up to that sight and knowing you trust him and feel comfortable around him gives him enough motivation and hope to do anything. Getting through the days becomes a breeze when he knows he can return to that most nights. He’s also a real delight to see on those early mornings - tired, but his smile brightens up his eyes, and his hair is a mess over the pillows. He’s not stressed out yet, so he’s fully relaxed and looks quite elegant.

Sadly, he’s often busy, and regularly misses out on sleep. At times like this, he likes having you curled up in his lap whilst he works, so long as you don’t distract him. He’ll press occasional kisses to your temple and you can nap or read or just lay there and listen to the music he always has playing when you’re in his study.

- He has to be very close to the MC to let them cuddle up to him, and initially he’s a bit stiff and awkward because he kind of forgot what this feels like. For the first while he’s quiet every time you cuddle him, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his head against yours and staring off into the distance. He’s touch-starved. Give him a moment.

- Once he settles and starts to get used to affection, if you two are alone he’ll walk up and put his arms around your shoulders and pull you in for hugs, leaning his chin against the top of your head. One time, months into whatever relationship you have, he does it in front of his brothers without thinking, and whilst he feels embarrassed after he realises he doesn’t mind - somewhere between him seeing it as staking a claim, because he’s still the avatar of pride, and between feeling comfortable enough in your presence that he can’t bring himself to care how they’ll react.

- On his rare days off, will absolutely whisk you off somewhere else for a day out in the Devildom and a night in a cabin or hotel or something where no one will bother the two of you and he can hold you in his arms for as long as he wants to and talk to you about everything that comes to mind, completely free and relaxed. He’s one to mumble about something or other when cuddling, unless he’s working, so when the two of you are just relaxing together he’ll ramble about something or ask you questions and listen to you talk.

- Once Luci said something that made you laugh whilst you were laying with your head on his chest and he knows he’s never going to forget about it. Will intentionally try to make you laugh so that he can experience that again. He was an angel once and yet, nothing feels more like heaven to him. Only thing is he’s not above teasing and tickling you to get a reaction out of you, so long as it’s one that might end in you laughing and smiling up at him, and you’ll feel his own laughter rumbling about in his chest.

Mammon

- Ideal cuddles: In your bed - it smells like you and it’s tidier than his room, probably. He likes to have his arms wrapped around your midsection whilst facing each other, on your sides. He also doesn’t mind if you use his chest or shoulder as a pillow, so long as you both have your arms around one another. Often times he’ll bury his face in your hair to take in your scent and because it’s soft and calming. By the time you wake up, he’s going to end up wrapped around you like a koala.

- Adores cuddling on days off when the two of you don’t have to leave for longer than a few moments at a time, especially in a place where his brothers won’t bother you; think, staying in a cabin where it all feels so domestic, you two can wake up whenever you want and make breakfast together and stay practically attached at the hip the entire time, sinking back into bed or laying together on the sofa whenever you want. No responsibilities, no pressure.

- Plays with your hands, or runs his fingers along your side, or tucks one arm up behind your back to hold you really close and play with the strands of hair at the base of your scalp / top of your neck. So long as it doesn’t disturb you heavily, he tends to have some kind of motion, not one to stay still for long.

- He’s quite warm, almost rivaling Beel, so you might have to ask him to loosen his grip on you if you get warm easily. If you do, he pouts and suggests he lowers the temperature of the entire room instead, or buys thinner blankets or gets rid of blankets all together.

- He tries to stay up until you fall asleep because it feels so peaceful and he really feels like he’s protecting you. Also, no one can criticise him or be rude to him when they’re sleeping. Even if you don’t ever talk down on him, his brothers weigh him down, so watching over you whilst you rest in his arms makes him feel so much better without worrying that you’re judging him.

- One time you two were cuddling and he just started crying quietly, because damn, he’s the luckiest demon in all the Devildom and even Lord Diavolo would be jealous of him right now. He’s an emotional cuddler, and will randomly tear up or start chuckling to himself. He’s quiet and doesn’t usually voice his thoughts when cuddling but you can tell he’s thinking constantly and always really happy.

- He gets shy easily enough but he’s also possessive, and he’s not one to turn you down. Because of this he honestly doesn’t care where the two of you cuddle, or who sees. His grip gets a little tighter around you if his brothers walk in and you’re curled up together on the sofa or something, but he wants to be held 24/7 and any mild temporary discomforts are more than worth it when he’s with you.

Leviathan

- Ideal cuddles: Please lay on top of his chest. Literally just lay on top of him. He melts every single time. His bathtub bed is perfect for this, because there’s really no other way to lie unless you want him to lay on top of you, so he prefers cuddling there - that, and it helps him stay cool, and he gets to be in the safety of his own room. In an actual bed, he’s the little spoon all the way. It’s hard to convince him you truly like him, but when you cuddle up against his back and wrap your arms around him he feels a little safer believing you might be telling the truth. It also makes him feel really safe and comfortable, a barrier from the outside world that he rejects daily.

- It doesn’t happen very often, but Levi is one of the brothers most likely to sleep in his demon form, and occasionally when you’re cuddling he’s so relaxed he takes on his demon form without really thinking about it. He says sorry and, half asleep, offers to turn back, but if you’re not uncomfortable then he starts to do it more often. He’s mindful about his horns and prefers to cuddle in his bathtub so he doesn’t tear any of your pillows or accidentally jab you with his horns.

- He’s somewhat cold to the touch unless he forces himself to raise his internal temperature. You’re unlikely to overheat whilst cuddling with him, but you’ll need a thick blanket or you may end up shivering after a few minutes, at which point he’ll try his best to be warmer and apologise profusely. He hates being warm, though - best to just go for the layers of blankets.

- Y’know that one thing where (usually) a girl goes up to her boyfriend and climbs into his lap whilst he’s gaming? Adores that. Oh, it makes him so, so happy. The first time you do it he drops his controller and after a minute of startled silence where you wonder just how red his face can get, he wraps his arms around you tight enough that you feel your spine click, and he buries his face into your neck and stays there for as long as you let him. He’s so flustered and yet, you can tell he’s happier than he’s ever been. It instantly cheers him up no matter how bad his mood is. It’s even better if you’re playing a game on a handheld system whilst he plays or watches something and the two of you are just, wrapped around each other but still doing your own thing. He just wants you close to him. He just wants to know you like him. Please give this boy cuddles.

Satan

- Ideal cuddles: Like Mammon, in a bed he likes to have his arms around your waist and for the two of you to be facing each other. Your room would be ideal but he would really rather be in his so much he ends up cleaning all the books off his bed just so he can cuddle up with you. He also likes the idea of cuddling up under a tree somewhere, or in one of those plush window seats, where you two can look out over the Devildom and he can point out different places and talk about them all - Satan has connections everywhere, and you’ll feel like you know everyone by the time he’s done.

- Satan isn’t particularly warm or cold. His temperature varies with the seasons, but he’s mostly just lukewarm. This means you’re unlikely to overheat or be too cold when you cuddle, which is always good.

- He likes to read to you or have you read to him, or ask questions back and forth to prod at each other’s minds a bit. A talkative cuddler - there are brief moments of silence, but he’s thinking constantly and he wants you to be involved in that, just like every aspect of his life. There’s usually a clear connection between one of his thoughts and the next, and he’ll have calm discussions about thinks with you in his arms.

- Only falls asleep first if he’s really, really tired. Otherwise he’ll stay up and read or talk to you until you fall asleep. Like Mammon there’s something about the peace, something about knowing you trust him, that you don’t see him as his anger, nor as his false personality that he puts on to please the others and maintain a decent status in comparison to Lucifer. You just see him as he is. He thinks about this a lot as he pets your hair.

- Speaking of petting your hair, he has a tendency to run his nails over your scalp when you’re in his arms. If you’re uncomfortable it would be best to tell him early on before the habit is set in stone. His main source of affection comes from the stray cats he feeds outside, so he just uses whatever knowledge he’s gained from that. This also means he’ll take one of your hands in his arm press gently into your palm with his thumbs, like he’s pressing the pads on a cats paw.

- Feels close to normal when he’s cuddling. Like he was never born solely of one emotion, because he feels so many in those moments that he really could be a whole on his own. He’s not one to hide this, and will openly vent to you about it. As well as this, he’s quite likely to come straight to you if he isn’t feeling well and needs cuddles to settle down. The only exception is if he’s really angry and is worried he might hurt you by accident. Even then, if you can get close enough to take his hand or wrap your arms around him, there’s a large chance he’ll settle enough to hold you in kindness and he can begin to heal.

- He doesn’t talk about it openly but one time he’s in an awful mood and you grab his head and hold it against your chest until he lets out all his emotions and feels better and it becomes his favourite thing in the world. He loves to cuddle with his head against your chest and your fingers running through his hair. You can tell that he adores it because he ends up purring and nuzzling his face against you. Unlike Luci, he hasn’t been to heaven, but he’d be able to describe the feeling of it much better than God himself could using just that embrace as his reference point.

Asmodeus

- Ideal cuddles: “Whatever you want, honey.” He isn’t picky, he just wants to be touching you in any way possible. However, he really likes laying with his head on your stomach or chest - especially if he can press light kisses against them. He wants some skin-on-skin contact, even if its holding hands or one of you burying their face in the other’s neck, or pressing feathery kisses to the insides of your wrist. It soothes him. He can’t stop himself from grinning if you nuzzle into his neck.

- He’s just the right temperature for cuddles. He’s on the warmer side, but whatever the perfect temperature is for you, he’s there. When he sleeps on his own, he likes to have a lot of blankets piled up, and then have a fan on to balance out the temperature, and he’ll push for the same setup when you’re cuddling together.

- One of the brothers who will go up to you when he wants attention. He’s the least shy, and will happily throw an arm around you anytime, anywhere. Honestly if it doesn’t bother you, he’d pull you into his lap in public or in front of his brothers and cuddle you close to him. The only problem he could possibly imagine is that other people are jealous of the two of you, so you’d really have to sit him down and explain if PDA isn’t at all your thing. Happy enough to link pinkies if that’s all you’re comfortable with, but he needs a lot of affection, so expect him to essentially trap you in his room later so you spend time with him.

- King of gentle kisses and soothingly rubbing your arms / back if you’ve not had the best day. He doesn’t mind whether you two talk or not, but on bad days he’s the best to go to - he’ll listen to everything you have to say, and verbally destroy anyone who’s annoyed you, all whilst holding your head to his chest and tracing shapes against your back.

- Loves loves loves listening to you talk about your day and then filling you in on his own. He’s a gossip but harmlessly, and will talk about whatever’s trending currently, keeping you up to date on everything. If he really wants to show you something or take a photo with you he likes to cuddle up with an arm around you and hold his phone in his other hand, scrolling through whatever social media he’s found this really interesting or horrible thing on. Otherwise he’s quiet enough, with mumbled words of affection and some suggestive jokes (and touches, if you’re comfortable. He won’t go anywhere with it if you’re just cuddling). He’s just happy and he wants to soak in it for as long as possible; he finally understands how people feel when they fall for him, he says

Beelzebub

- Ideal cuddles: Big spoon. Preferably in his bed rather than yours. He wants to wrap his arms around you, especially if you’ve already got your arms wrapped around yourself so that he’s essentially holding your hands at the same time. He buries his face at the base of your neck / top of your spine. He also really, really loves just having you cling to him in some way, and will carry you around like that - usually he loves having you curled up in one arm whilst he goes about his day or eats.

- He is so warm, but if you’re laying down he’ll insist on having a blanket because it keeps him safe from the monsters in his closet :( You’ll definitely need something to cool you down, and he gets into the habit of getting you a glass and a large jug of water before you cuddle up together because you have to stay hydrated and it should help you cool down at least a little. Get him a thin blanket and a fan of some kind and it should just about balance it out.

- He’s the opposite of Belphie, in that he doesn’t tend to cuddle for long periods of time - he wants to, and pouts any time he has to get up, but even if you help him not feel quite so hungry, he still needs to eat regularly. If you’re asleep he’ll move as slowly and carefully as possible so that he doesn’t wake you up. If you’re awake he’ll gush out apologies and then ask if you want to be wrapped up in the blanket and carried along with him. If you say no he pours a fresh glass of water and rushes out and back because he really wants to spend time with you.

- Sometimes he just gets really excited and happy and he’ll grin at you wordlessly.

- He’s quiet but in the early morning, when he wakes up, even if you’re not awake he’ll press soft kisses against your shoulders and the back of your neck and whisper whatever comes to his mind. He tends to repeat over and over that he really cares about you and that he’s really glad you’re here.

Belphegor

- Ideal cuddles: In the attic on his nest of pillows and blankets, curled up so that you’re both mainly on your backs but somewhat facing each other. No matter what he’s going to end up curling up against your side by the time he wakes up anyway. He also really likes sleeping on top of you, but this is a bit risky because he sleeps like a log and its hard to wake him up when you need to get up to eat or use the bathroom. If you’re not in the attic, the only other place outside of your rooms that he likes to cuddle up together to sleep is the planetarium, looking up at the stars together.

- He’s on the cooler side, but likes being warm - he’s used to the kind of warmth Beel produces. Because of this, he’s liable to snuggling in as close as he possibly can to you to absorb some of your heat. You’re going to become his own personal radiator.

- Unlike Beel, he will cuddle forever. There are very few things stopping him from just sleeping constantly, with the main reason being that he wants to spend time with you and Beel. In fact, you’re going to have trouble getting out of his grasp once he wraps his arms around your stomach and pulls you down onto his pillow nest. Its best to devise a system and let him get used to it - tapping on his arm or hand 3 times, or something like that, and he’ll release you. He’ll also push for you to wake him up. The only other thing that will make him release you is if he brushes a hand against your side and you’re ticklish and laugh, in which case he’ll grin and start tickling you instead.

- Like Levi, if relaxed enough he’ll slip into his demon form. It takes less energy to be in that form anyway, and he likes letting you play with his tail when you’re  cuddled up together. Acts annoyed if you start poking and prodding at him because you don’t often get to see the boys relaxed in their demon forms, but he really enjoys it. Purrs if you pet his horns.

- He’s not at all talkative but likes to listen. However, he’s liable to falling asleep very, very quickly, so it’s not worth saying anything too important to him; he’ll listen, and he’ll remember when he wakes up, but he’s not going to respond effectively in a timely manner.

- Belphie smirks and grins a lot, but sometimes he wakes up earlier than you and he looks at you until you wake up too, and you’ll see his lopsided smile as he beams at you, content. Mornings are okay like that, he decides, even if he grumbles and complains when you tell him you have to start getting ready for class.

[inadaydream99]

When They See You With Another Guy ~ with The Boyz

Requested by anon

A/N- Hi, thanks for requesting! This has taken ages for me to write but I hope you enjoy! ☺️

Sangyeon

Sangyeon had been minding his own business, walking along the street, when his eyes landed on you stood talking with a guy he’d never seen before

It wasn’t that he was jealous, but he doesn’t like the fact that the wide smile on your face is because of someone other than him

He’s confused… should he go over to you or just keep walking and talk to you about it later???

But he decides it’s best to wait until he has a chance to talk to you properly. Though that doesn’t mean he’s not replaying the scene over in his head all day

You burst into laughter upon hearing Sangyeon’s question. It really does make you feel amused that he’d been so obviously concerned about it all day

“That was my friends boyfriend. We’d just so happened to bump into each other in the street and had a little catch up, that’s all.” You clear things up instantly

Sangyeon’s instantly chuckles, his hand awkwardly scratching his neck until you reach out and hold it, intwining your fingers together

Jacob

Being an incredibly rational person, it’s probably expected that seeing you with another guy wouldn’t bother Jacob much

Except, it really really does…

There’s this underlying protectiveness within him that he only has for his members and his s/o

So when he sees that you are close to another guy, its almost shocking how mad it makes him

Of course, Jacob is mature enough to manage his emotions when in public situations. But the instant you’re alone, it’s a completely different story

“Who was that guy you were talking to earlier?” Jacob controls the conversation, staring you directly in the eyes as a seriousness encompasses you both

“He’s just a friend from work, more of an acquaintance really.” You reassure, placing a gentle hand onto his arm in an attempt to calm his tense posture

“How come you didn’t introduce me then. You always introduce me…” Jacob remains firm, a jealous tinge emerging through his tone

You can tell it’s taking a lot for him to hold his emotions in this moment. Although, his anger isn’t aimed towards you, but your handsome colleague

“Truthfully.” You emit a deep breath. “He’s a huge fan of yours and when I offered to introduce you he said he was too nervous.”

Upon hearing this confession, a huge grin explodes onto Jacob’s face

He’s relieved, the soft laugh you love so much making an appearance as he pulls you into his arms and presses a loving kiss atop your head

Younghoon

Younghoon had been acting off all night, everyone had noticed it, but no one was really sure why he looked so pissed

It wasn’t until you’d managed to get him alone that you were able to fully understand, and honestly, you weren’t too impressed by his reason

“So I’m not allowed to talk to any guys.” You defensively sass, arms folded across your chest to close yourself off from your childish boyfriend

“No, I’m not saying that. I just don’t like it when guys get to friendly with you.” Younghoon grumbles moodily

“So you don’t trust me, that’s what you’re saying?” You sarcastically laugh, it’s really hard to believe he’s acting this way over such an insignificant thing

The ‘thing’ in question isn’t insignificant to Younghoon, however. Especially when you seemed so much happier hanging out with your guy friend than him

“Of course I trust you, it’s just him I don’t trust!” Younghoon completely looses his cool, throwing his arms up in frustration

Hearing his blatant jealousy leaves you at a loss for words, so you simply shake your head in disappointment, walking away from Younghoon before one of you says something you’ll regret

Hyunjae

He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you laughing at the guys words… was he really that funny?

Jaehyun isn’t sure, after all, he’s not a part of the conversation

His bottom lip instantly juts out into a pout as he continues to watch your interaction. I mean, what did he do for you to treat him like this?

“What’s the sulky face for?” You chuckle as soon as you approach him, unaware of how upset you’ve made him

“Your friend seems like a funny guy.” He avoids your question, taking a sip of his drink to take away the sour taste left in his mouth

You raise your brows at your boyfriends words. It’s not your fault he’s jealous, but either way, you aren’t about to stir up an argument

“I mean, I’ve met funnier…” you trail off, failing to hide the teasing smirk that twinges at the corner of your lips

“Like who?” Hyunjae’s eyes go wide at your statement, he’d clearly missed what you were insinuating

“You’re so cute.” Is all you respond with, chuckling in amusement at how he’s being so endearingly obvious with his emotions

And it seems as though it does the trick, Hyunjae finally smiling once again as you enjoy each others company

Juyeon

Juyeon doesn’t want to make something out of nothing, but when you spend the morning rushing around getting ready instead of paying attention to him, it hurts him a little

Instead of verbalising his emotions, he decides to catch your attention in another way

Purposefully strolling out of your room and into the living space of your apartment in only his pants, Juyeon stretches his arms out and rolls his head back, sighing loudly to catch your attention

“Ju, have you seen my phone?” You whiz past him without a second glance

“It’s right here, on the table.” He calls out, lounging back onto the sofa as casually as he can (except it’s in no way casual)

“Thank y-” your words cut off as soon as you take him in, mouth agape as your mind goes empty of all thoughts, well except one…

“Have a nice time today and I’ll see you for dinner.” Juyeon beams at you.

However desperately he wants to make you decide to stay with him instead of meeting your guy friend, he would never admit it out loud

“Can I have a kiss goodbye?” You timidly ask, almost as if you haven’t asked him that before

Juyeon snickers as he stands up and pulls you into him, one hand falling delicately onto your waist and the other caressing your cheek

You complain when he only leaves a simple peck on your lips, eager for more

Juyeon’s just happy to know you are no longer in a rush to leave, and that’s enough to make him feel content for the rest of the day until you come back home to him

Kevin

Kevin wouldn’t really mind seeing you hanging out with guy friends, just as long as you are open with him about it

He’s not the type to get jealous often, and even then it’s only to tease you

“You know, we haven’t spend much time together lately.” He pouts after hearing that you’re heading out to see a male friend of yours

It’s the first day in a long time that Kevin has some time off and he was really hoping you would be around to share it with him

“Don’t make me feel worse about it, I’ve had this arranged for ages…” you sigh, accepting his hand as you take a moment to come up with a compromise

“You know you could just make it clear that you’re gonna hang out with your boyfriend.” Kevin softly suggests, his tone insinuating the slight bitterness he’s been trying to cover up

“Kevin…” you whine.

His laughter only makes you roll your eyes as you realise he’s been messing with you. So you playfully shove him away when he attempts to pull you into a hug

Chanhee

Is Chanhee bothered to see you spending so much time with another guy at the company party? On the outside it’s a firm no, but inside he’s not pleased

It’s not your fault that you’d made friends with the staff, and that the closest friend was a male staff

Honestly, every part of Chanhee wants to sassily stroll over to you and your friend and make it very clear that you have a boyfriend

But he’s hesitant, it’s really taken a blow to his confidence…

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” You perch on the chair beside your solemn looking boyfriend. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m… just feeling a little under the weather.” Chanhee fibs. He doesn’t like lying to you, but deep down he knows he’d feel much worst making you feel bad for spending time with friends

“Do you want to go home?” You offer, a soft smile on your face to reciprocate your boyfriends when he nods, accepting your hand and intertwining your fingers together as you make your way out of the party

Changmin

You feel an arm wrap around your waist, tugging you closer into the person beside you, a light gasp escaping your lips from the unexpected presence of your boyfriend

Changmin’s eyes are fiercely trained on the guy stood opposite you, baring his gritted teeth as he boldly interrupts your conversation

“…this is my boyfriend Changmin…” you hesitate, introducing him in a feeble attempt to break the tense silence

“And who are you?” Changmin spits, impatience radiating off of him as the stranger takes a second to comprehend the simple question

“Minnie-” Changmin’s head snaps to you, your sentence falling short just from his enraged stare

“I asked him. Who. Are. You.” His tone is sharp, making it evermore clear that he needs an answer instantly.

“I’m (Y/N)’s cousin.”

“Oh.” Changmin’s shoulders slump… he feels stupid

And that’s when you take the opportunity to apologise to your cousin on Changmin’s behalf, before excusing you both

“I’m so sorry-” Changmin’s doe eyes plead at you. “I just get too ahead of myself sometimes.”

“It’s ok, you didn’t mean any harm.” You comfort, accepting the fact that Changmin is just very territorial over you

And later on, Changmin makes the effort to make amends with your cousin himself

Haknyeon

One thing that Haknyeon absolutely adores is the way you look at him as though he’s the only person you see, your eyes glimmering with complete admiration at anything and everything he does

So when he thinks that you are giving another guy a very similar look, it makes him feel a way he’s never felt before

“Yeah, I know what I saw. Don’t be stupid.” Haknyeon continues to walk away from you, his tone cold as he refuses to even spare you a glance

“But I really don’t know what I’ve done?” You chase after him, finally catching up when he has to stop to unlock the front door

“Oh come on! You were practically undressing him with your eyes!” He finally turns to you, waiting for you to come back at him with a defensive comment

Except you don’t, you just gawk at him in disbelief

“If you really believe that I’d even flirt with the idea of having eyes for anyone other than you, then why are we together?” You break the silence, your voice barely audible but leaving an echo in Haknyeon’s mind as he speechlessly watches you walk away

Sunwoo

He acts on his emotions first, rationality coming in second

So when he sees you with a guy he’d never encountered before, he feels hurt and betrayed

“I don’t get it Sunwoo, why are you so mad at me?” You frustratedly brush your hand through your hair, repeating the question for the thousandth time that evening

Sunwoo simply continues to ignore you, choosing to focus all his attention onto the tv as he grabs the remote and it flicks onto some random channel

His frown deepens when you move to block his view of the tv, pleading at him as best as you can

“Instead of annoying me why don’t you go back to that guy you were falling all over earlier.” Sunwoo finally speaks, his harsh tone and bitter words making your mouth go dry, chest tight as you feel your heart sink to your stomach. Is this really what he thinks?

“Sorry what?” You question back, finding it hard to believe you’ve heard him correctly

Seeing the pure horror on your face from his accusation makes Sunwoo feel instant regret

“That was my best friends brother, you know the one I’ve known since I was a baby?” You defensively explain

You watch as Sunwoo’s eyes widen in realisation, his face morphing through multiple emotions before it finally fixes into one of shame

“I’m so sorry (Y/N). How could I have been so stupid.” He stands from the sofa, closing the distance that had been created between you during your disagreement

He watches cautiously as his hand reaches out to take yours, letting out a breath of relief when you don’t resist as he intertwines your fingers together

“It’s ok, it’s and easy misunderstanding.” You meekly smile at him. “Just ask me next time, instead of getting all jealous about it.”

“I promise.” You chuckle as Sunwoo rolls his eyes, before pulling you into his embrace

Eric

“(Y/N), there you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Eric playfully scolds you through a wide smile, his heart filling with pride when you giggle at him

He’d wanted to seem casual in his approach to you, fully intending on making it known to your colleague that you are happily taken

“Nice to see you again Eric.” Your colleague nods, holding his hand out for Eric to shake, which Eric begrudgingly accepts

You don’t notice the forced smiles between the two, staying civil for the sake of appearances even though they both share the same distaste for one another

“You too.” Eric mumbles, turning his attention onto you, the sole reason for his endurance of being accommodating towards such an unpleasant guy (in his opinion anyway)

“We really should get going now, it’s already past when we agreed we should leave.” Eric affectionately reminds you, leaning down to press a light kiss to your forehead in the process

“You could stay with me if you don’t want to leave yet. I’ll take care of you.” Your colleague speaks up the second you let out a light “oh” in realisation of the time

This proposition, however, makes Eric tense instantly, which doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Actually I’m ready to go, just need to say goodbye to my boss.” You delicately place your hand on Eric’s arm as a way of comfort, before slipping away to say your goodbyes

Eric simply sends a taunting smirk towards your colleague, his look speaking a thousand words, before sauntering away

[insomniactalks]

Hey! 😊 Hope you don't mind me dropping this ask, I don't think we've interacted much on here before.

As far as the "leaks" go, I would definitely take them with a pinch of salt (and this is coming from a rina shipper lmao) cos didn't mark st cyr say he literally didn't know what mr mazarra's s2 ending would be until he watched the show? disney's so secretive i doubt most people on set would even know enough to come up with those theories, and the stuff about love triangles etc. isn't hard to make up, people on here are already doing it.

I guess what I'm saying is, there's no way of knowing what's going to happen until we watch the show, so try not to worry too much about the rinas on twitter claiming that this is proof they've been right all along. The truth is we don't know any more than you do 😅

Having said that, I have been thinking about the claim that EJ isn't in the main cast. Now I don't know if this will be true but if it is , I have a theory I thought you might find interesting: imagine if because he's left high school (and might even be a counsellor at camp this year) EJ gets asked to direct the show.

I feel like it could be a really cool extension of his s2 arc, he'd get another opportunity to learn about himself while telling other people's stories, and I think it would be really interesting if he realised he was happier working behind the scenes, as opposed to s1 when he felt like he had to be the lead and have everyone's approval and attention, but he felt like he had to pretend to be someone else to get that

Hope this makes sense, lmk what you think! ❤️

Hi! Of course I don't mind. 😁 Thanks for the ask! ❤ (I address the “leaks” here if ya’ll are wondering.)  I may not stan Rina anymore but I'm more than happy to talk about the show and these great characters (no matter what you ship!). 😊

You're totally right about the show filming multiple endings b/c I do remember Mark saying what ur referring to in a post-S2 interview (I think....)🤔. I could see some of what the "leaks" are talking about coming true, but the love triangle, in particular, seems especially obvious, and not in a good way. I wouldn't be surprised by a Portwell/Rina love triangle, I just think it's bad storytelling. What I mean is that this show has had 2 seasons in a row of love triangles (S1: EJ/Nini/Ricky, S2: Nini/Ricky/Gina and Mike/Jenn/Mazzara) so having Gina, EJ, and Ricky involved in another love triangle for the third season in a row seems like a step back for these characters (esp considering EJ and Gina have gotten the short end of the stick in both cases). 😥😣

Thank you for the reassurance! LOL❤😀 I agree, we really won’t know what’s true or not until the show starts to air, so it’s all a guessing game at this point.🤷🏽‍♀️

I didn’t hear about the claim that EJ isn’t a part of the main cast anymore. I can’t speak for S4 and beyond, but it’s safe to say he will be a main at least in S3 b/c Matt is still probably number 3 on the call sheet. EJ is still a Core 4, now Big 3, member (I also think he’s still a main b/c he just did Family Feud w/ the rest of the cast)🤔. For ur theory, I’ve deff had similar thoughts! EJ seems to really be embracing shining the spotlight on other ppl in S2, so that could deff carry on to S3! 😙 I personally think the camp director may not want to give up control to anyone, so Dewey(?) may not want EJ as a director for the camp’s musical. I could see Miss Jenn giving EJ the chance to co-direct one of East High’s musicals in the future tho (probably S4 or S5).☺️

I can’t tell you how nice it is to talk with a Rina who doesn’t dislike/hate EJ! 😭 I couldn’t agree more w/ you about where his arc is headed. I get the feeling Gina and EJ are getting to the point in their character arcs where they don’t care for the lead as much anymore. I feel like EJ may decide to go to the state school and study in film productions/directing towards the end of S3. Maybe his role in the camp’s musical, whether as a lead or working behind the scenes, helps him make that decision. 🤗  

Thank you so much for the ask! I appreciate it, Izzy. 🥰❤

[whelvenwings]

Castiel's grace is missing, and Dean's frustrated - instead of looking for it, all Castiel wants to do is grow his flowers. Eventually, the two of them have to talk about it.

Read it below or here on AO3! Tags: Canon Divergent, Gardener!Cas, Cas' Grace

This fic was inspired by this wonderful art by saminzat, and written as part of the @spnreverse-promptchallenge!

It’s not Heaven. It’s not even close. It’s just a garden, where Castiel is growing things.

If it were Heaven, Castiel thinks, then Dean would be looking a lot happier, those wrinkles around his eyes all eased away. If it were Heaven, there would have been a break in the clouds overhead when Dean arrived.

If it were Heaven, the peach rose would be in bloom, not straggling all green and leggy and ungainly through the picket fence that Castiel had put up to help it grow.

Castiel puts down the secateurs he’s been using to prune the forsythia, and takes off his gardening gloves. He walks over to Dean, acutely aware of the fact that he’s wearing enough sunscreen to make his skin shine, the worn-thin, oversized blue t-shirt he found at a Goodwill that says Thyme to Garden, and a very large sunhat to protect the back of his neck.

Sunburn, he reminds himself, is more uncomfortable than the growing look of mixed amusement and judgement in Dean’s eyes. Even on a cloudy day, his skin will burn if he’s outside for a long time. Something he learned the hard way after becoming human.

“I thought you were researching a case,” Castiel says to Dean as he approaches.

“Done. Thought I’d come say hi.” Dean raises an eyebrow and a half-smile at him in greeting. “So, hi.”

Castiel stops a few feet from him and tips his hat a little further back on his head, so that Dean can clearly see his face.

“Hello,” he says. Dean takes in the hat, the t-shirt, the full gardening ensemble, with one sweeping gaze.

“Looking good,” Dean says.

Castiel looks down at himself, and then solemnly back to Dean.

“Thank you,” he says, with just enough irony in his tone to get Dean to smile. Or it would have been, usually, but today Dean’s expression is sinking back into hard lines. The greyish, muted light seems to lie heavy on him, putting a coldness in his eyes.

Castiel searches his face. Just as he’s about to say something more, Dean breaks their stare, glancing around at the plants nearest him as a light breeze ruffles at them.

“They’ve grown since last time you showed me,” Dean says. He’s holding himself strangely, his fists clenched. Castiel tilts his head to one side, and then looks around with Dean at the garden.

He feels the familiar spark of happiness as he surveys his handiwork. Once, the place had been a sad little patch of chalky, lump-filled earth. Now the flowers drip off their stems like dewdrops, and the soil smells rich, and the leaves tremble their creaky little paths to follow the sun each day. Even the blossomless peach rose has strong roots.

Castiel glances back to Dean, and feels the warmth in his chest sputter out. Dean’s eyeing the plantlife with an expression that doesn’t seem impressed.

“It’s been a while since last time,” Castiel says.

“Yeah. Well, you know.” Dean looks distracted, frowning down at a squat little succulent plant. There’s something bothering him, obviously, and Castiel isn’t sure whether Dean wants to be asked about it or have it be left alone.

“You’re always welcome,” Castiel tries quietly. Dean seems to catch himself, shifting his expression to something more neutral as he turns back to Castiel.

“Yeah,” he says, not as though he particularly believes it, and – in a way that almost manages to seem genuine – not as though he particularly cares.

“You can stay,” Castiel says. “If you want. There’s plenty to do. If you’re not busy.”

Dean puts his hands into his pockets and looks around the garden again, this time with his eyes a little less sharp.

“Nah,” he says. “Nah, I don’t wanna spoil the fun.”

Spoil the fun? Castiel gives Dean a look that he hopes is eloquent, and Dean rolls his eyes.

“I dunno, man,” he says. “Anyway, it’s not really me, is it.”

He looks tired, Castiel thinks.

“Didn’t think it was you, either,” Dean adds after a half-beat. He reaches up unselfconsciously, and then seems to realise what he’s doing at the last moment, and awkwardly flicks the brim of Castiel’s hat with the back of one finger before taking a step away. “Didn’t think you’d ever go in for… you know. Whatever this is.”

Castiel can easily read that expression on Dean’s face. He’s seen it before, in other times, other places. The mixture of bravado and hurt and confusion had made sense when lives had been at stake and grand lies had been unfolding, but this – here, today, in among his roses and sunflowers, Castiel hadn’t expected it. Dean looks betrayed.

And Castiel doesn’t know what to say. He reaches up to his hat, just brushing the brim with the tips of his fingers in the same place Dean touched it.

“I need the hat,” he says. “To keep the sun off my neck.”

“Right,” Dean says. “Yeah.” He looks up at the sky, which is still an overcast grey.

“Even through clouds,” Castiel offers.

“Uh huh. Okay.”

Castiel squints at him.

“You seem angry,” he says. No more dancing around it. Predictably, Dean makes a face, as though the suggestion were ridiculous.

“Nah.”

“Dean.” Castiel fixes him with a look, and Dean shrugs.

“Whatever, man.”

“If something is wrong…” Castiel says.

“Listen, if coming out here and growing your little flowers and everything helps, then that’s fine,” he says. “It’s fine.”

There’s a but coming, and Castiel knows enough to wait for it. Dean looks aimlessly around at the burgeoning plants. His eyes trace the tangle of a buddleia, until he glances back to Castiel, who raises an eyebrow.

Dean’s front drops, the stiffness going out of his shoulders, his hands unclenching.

“But your grace, man,” he says. Castiel looks down at the ground. He should have expected this, he knew. But somehow hearing the words still takes him by surprise.

“What about it,” he says, in a tone that doesn’t really want an answer, but knows it’s going to get one.

Dean’s hands come up, palms facing out, asking a question without words at first.

“Seriously,” he manages after a moment. “What about it? It’s your grace, Cas.”

“I know,” Castiel says.

“It’s gone,” Dean says.

“I know.”

“It’s been months.”

“I…” Castiel sighs. “Yes.”

“You told me it was just gone,” Dean says, ducking his chin slightly to catch Castiel’s eyes. “Like it was no big deal. And now all you do is spend time up here, planting flowers. Not even trying to look for it. I don’t get it, man. And whenever I try to bring it up, you just say –”

“It’s taken care of,” Castiel says, at the same time as Dean mouths the words along with him, his expression exasperated with a spiderweb of hurt threaded through.

“It’s your grace.”

“I know,” Castiel says. “I know it is. But it’s taken care of, Dean. I don’t want…”

He cuts himself off before he says too much, pressing his lips together.

Dean shakes his head. Castiel can see him battling with himself, trying to decide whether he wants to push harder. Castiel keeps his face neutral, hoping Dean will drop it.

“Don’t want what?” Dean says, though, and Castiel feels his heart sink. “You’re human, now. And you’re stuck that way until you get your grace back, but you won’t even…” Dean seems to run out of words. Castiel tries to think of something to say to divert the conversation, take them down a different track.

“I’m doing better at shaving,” he says. “And I’ve learned not to brush my teeth before drinking orange juice.”

Castiel can see the slight smile on Dean’s face, but it’s almost completely buried under the worry and the anger.

“Right,” Dean says.

“Dean…”

“I just don’t get it. The grace… if it’s lost, I can help with that. If it’s destroyed, I can try to help too, or… we’ll figure something out. Or if it’s safe, why won’t you tell me what happened with it?” The strain in Dean’s voice tells Castiel that they’re at the heart of it now, at the reason for the tight shoulders and the clipped answers and the judgemental eyes on his catmint and cosmos. “Why won’t you just tell me?”

Castiel stares at him helplessly. The answers are in the back of his throat, ready to be said, but he can’t open his mouth – can’t get them out. He feels his heart thudding, his human heart. He doesn’t know if he likes that feeling, if he wants it – perhaps not, no more than he wants sunburn, or the taste of orange juice after toothpaste, or blood on his palms when he catches himself on that peach rose’s thorns.

But there’s something he does want. And any chance at – at that – any chance at all, it’s worth the weight of being human. He made a choice and he knows he’d make it, the same one, over and over again.

He thinks it all, but he can’t say it. Dean watches him, angry and confused. Overhead, the clouds lumber their heavy bellies across the sky.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Dean says. Castiel looks away, and Dean takes a step closer. “Cas,” he says. “I swear to god.”

Castiel looks up at him, knowing his own tiredness is right there to be seen on his face – and his sadness, his hurt. Dean’s expression shifts, and he comes even closer.

“What did you do, man? Is it that bad?”

It’s easy to see Dean’s mind working, trying to piece everything together. He’s probably thinking demons, and deals, and treachery, all the things that they’ve been through before. Castiel doesn’t know how to explain to him that he’s wrong without telling him the whole truth. And he can’t tell the whole truth.

“Look,” Dean says, “we’ll figure it out. If you just tell me – tell me where it is, or what happened. Did someone do this? And what… what does all of this have to do with it…” He looks around again at the garden. Castiel closes his eyes for a second, lets the familiar feeling of being here fill him as much as he can let it – the warmth in his chest, the spark.

He knows he should try to talk about it, but he can’t. He can’t.

When he opens his eyes, Dean’s waiting, watching him. Castiel opens his mouth – but nothing comes out.

Dean’s face tightens again.

“Okay,” he says. “So it’s like that. Great, Cas.”

“Dean, it’s –”

“No, it’s fine,” Dean says, his tone taut with bitterness, but his face carefully unbothered. “That’s fine. Deal with it by yourself. That’s always gone so well. And meanwhile, me, I’ll just, what? Wait for you to give me the bad news, I guess. That’s great, Cas. Really. You know, you –”

“Stop,” Castiel asks.

And a little of the fight leaves Dean again. He looks as though he wants to say something else, but doesn’t know what. His face is half apology and half anger.

“It just…” he says. And then waves his hand, like it doesn’t matter anyway.

And it’s the simplicity of the hurt in that gesture that has Castiel throwing all his caution to the wind and saying,

“I don’t want it back.”

Dean stops moving. His eyes fix on Castiel.

“What?” Dean asks.

Castiel’s jaw is tight, but he manages to say again,

“I don’t want it back. My grace. I know where it is. But I don’t want it back.”

All of Dean’s carefully placed anger is gone, suddenly, in his shock. There’s no performance, no strategy, in the way that he steps closer and looks utterly bewildered.

“You don’t?” he says.

“No. I…” Castiel hesitates, and then says, “I took it out myself.”

“You what?”

Castiel lifts one shoulder, a little diffidently. It had been necessary, so he’d done it. As simple as that.

“Cas,” Dean says, and then seems to be at a loss. Castiel doesn’t say anything. There isn’t anything to say, so far as he can see.

He’s made his choice. And if he ever regrets it, if he ever wishes things could be different, all he has to do is look at Dean and it pales to nothing.

“Cas… why?” Dean manages eventually, and Castiel breathes out.

He looks at Dean.

Dean stares right back at him, not understanding.

“Did someone make you?” Dean demands. “We can go and look for them, we can –”

“No,” Castiel says. “No. I chose to do it.”

“But Cas…”

“It’s –” Castiel presses his lips together again, trying not to let the expression look pained, even though there’s a flash of hurt through his chest at the thought of trying to say any of it aloud. Saying it would push the two of them, Dean and Castiel, towards a tipping point. A no-takebacks, no room for misunderstanding point. Sharp as a thorn.

And it’s the last thing Castiel wants.

Until they talk about it, anything seems possible. It almost feels real enough. But if they talk, it’ll all be over. Dean will tell him to take back his grace, and Castiel will have to leave. It’ll be over.

“You took it out. What would you do that for,” Dean says. When Castiel doesn’t reply, he reaches out and puts a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Hey,” he says, the word harsh enough to compensate for the touch.

“It’s nothing,” Castiel says.

“Cas.”

“Really, it’s…” Castiel stops. The denial dies in his mouth. He swallows, his eyes on Dean, before he looked down. “I just want to be able to stay with you.”

The last two words are too much – all of it is too much – but they’re out his mouth before he can stop them. Castiel breathes out and waits to feel Dean’s hand loosen its grip, drop away in shock at the unwanted intensity. It’s too much. Castiel knows it’s too much.

But Dean’s hand is still on his shoulder.

“You want to be able to stay?” Dean says.

“Yes.” Castiel says it bluntly, to try to shave off the emotion, make it easier to talk about. Dean’s hand still doesn’t move. Castiel can feel each place Dean’s fingers are digging in slightly through the thin material of his t-shirt. His heart is pounding and he wants to be able to turn it off, quiet it down, hear Dean’s heart instead in the way he could when he had his grace. He wants it with a sudden acuteness, a pang of loss.

“But – you can,” Dean says. “Why would you think you needed to do this?”

Castiel can’t look back up at him.

“Cas,” Dean says.

There’s a band of pain squeezing tightly around Castiel’s chest. He can’t quite seem to get his breath, suddenly.

“I just thought I’d fit better this way,” he says.

“Fit better?” Now Dean moves his hand, pulls back, though he doesn’t go far. “What do you mean?”

“You’re human,” Castiel says. He looks up, meets Dean’s eyes. “Now I am too. I thought, maybe…”

He trails off. He can’t say more. He can’t talk about what he hopes for, what he wants. He can’t.

Dean’s hand is back on his shoulder and the touch is different, now, less insistent. Softer. Castiel can see the gentleness in Dean’s eyes, shy and uncertain, allowed to show just for a few moments.

“We don’t have to be the same,” Dean says.

Castiel doesn’t know how to answer.

“We’ve never been the same,” Dean says. “But we’re still good. Right?”

There are no words in Castiel’s mind, or none that make sense – or none that he can say aloud. He wishes he could give Dean the way that he feels, just drop it into Dean’s mind, show him without having to explain it. The feeling is yes, good, of course we’re good, but there’s more – there’s different things, things I want to be to you, ways I want to be with you. And not telling you feels more and more like lying with every passing day but I don’t know how to tell you without you being suddenly aware that I’ve been wanting you in a different way to how you want me for a very long time, and will you hate me for that? Will you think I’m a liar? Will you send me away? Could I bear that? Could I bear it? If you hated me, how could I bear it?

“I just,” Castiel says, “I just want to be able to stay.” It’s the only part of it that will come out of his mouth.

“You can,” Dean says. “You don’t need… damnit, Cas, you didn’t have to take your own grace out just to be able to stay.”

Castiel nods mutely. Dean’s hand squeezes Castiel’s shoulder.

“So you can put it back, right?” he says. “The grace. You can go get it and put it back?”

“I could.” It comes out more direct and harsh than Castiel intended, and Dean’s grip tightens.

“So…?” he says.

Castiel can’t meet his eyes. He looks to the side, around the garden that he’s created. The flowers that have unfurled for him, trusting, unfussy about what deep love and secrets he’s hiding. The leaves and shoots that grow steadily under the care of his hands, no matter who else those hands wish they could hold.

“Cas,” Dean says again, and gives another squeeze, and then lets go. “Your grace is you, man. All these months, it’s not like you’ve had a good time being human, is it?”

“It’s worth it.”

“Worth it?” Dean echoes.

“If it means we’re the same,” Castiel says. And his reasoning isn’t even clear to Castiel himself, now. It just feels as though if they’re both human, if they both are the same thing, there’s a chance they could both feel the same way, too – it makes no sense, and yet Castiel can’t imagine letting go of the thought.

“We don’t need to be the same,” Dean says, repeating himself with a look that’s crossed between confusion and concern.

“But I…”

Castiel stops talking, cuts himself off. Dean’s eyes search his face.

“You want to be?” Dean says, cautious, hazarding a guess. And when Castiel’s expression tells Dean he’s right, his face goes even more soft with surprise. “Why?”

There isn’t anything that Castiel can say in answer. No explanations he can give that will make sense outside his own mind. All he finds himself doing is looking at Dean – looking at him more openly than he has done in a long time, half tight-lipped and wanting the conversation to end, half hoping that Dean will finally piece it all together. He allows himself to stare, frankly and directly, pushing away the guilt and shame that push at him and tell him to look down, step away, move back, leave. He stares like he once used to all the time, letting down the walls.

There’s Dean, he thinks. There he is. Sometimes the feelings in Castiel grow so big and overwhelming that he forgets the shape of the man at the heart of them. The way Dean cares. The way Dean looks at him right back, matches him – when it comes down to it, never pretends it doesn’t matter to him when it does.

Dean’s mouth opens to form words, but he seems to stop himself. Castiel watches Dean swallow, and feels the familiar swoop and ache in his chest as all his crushing sky-sized love focuses into the smallness of the place on Dean’s throat that he wants to touch.

Dean goes to say something, and then stops.

Castiel looks down at Dean’s lips, and then back up again.

Is it wrong, how much he wants to kiss Dean? The feeling is pressing, immediate, alive. It’s in Castiel’s blood, in his bones. If Dean doesn’t want him too, in the same way, does that make the feeling wrong? Or would it just be acting on it, making Dean aware of it, that would be wrong? But the feeling is a background hum in everything Castiel does. He acts on it even when Dean isn’t with him. He acts on it all the time.

Every passing moment changes the gaze between them. Dean’s waiting for him to talk, not filling in the space with any words this time, but his face keeps sinking further into something that looks dangerously like realisation.

“I don’t know,” Castiel says. If how he feels, or what he’s doing, is wrong, then he should look away. He should go away, leave Dean alone, find somewhere else to be. But he couldn’t, he can’t, not until he knows for sure that Dean doesn’t feel even slightly the same way – and he can’t ask, because as soon as he knows Dean doesn’t feel the same way, he’ll have to leave. The thoughts chase their tails in Castiel’s head and he stares and he stares at Dean and he hurts so much that he wants to hit his own chest just for the distraction of a simpler pain.

“You don’t know what?”

“I just don’t know, Dean.”

Dean is watching him carefully, his mouth slightly open, as though trying to figure out how to phrase something he wants to say. There’s a slight tinge of colour to his cheeks, too, Castiel notices.

“Uh,” Dean says. His mouth shapes a ‘w’ like the start of a question, and then closes again, and he frowns – but he doesn’t look away.

He almost knows, Castiel thinks. He’s almost understood. And as soon as Dean understands, it’s over. Unless he feels the same way, which he doesn’t. He can’t. We’re not the same. No matter how hard I try and how much I change, we’re not ever the same.

He needs to cauterise this conversation like a wound, stop all this from happening, but he can’t find the words. Dean’s still watching him. Castiel’s heart is thunder in his head, drowning out his thoughts.

“You look like the whole world’s falling apart,” Dean says eventually. “Not an exaggeration. ‘Cause I’ve seen your face when the world was actually falling apart.” Dean points vaguely with one finger towards Castiel’s face. “And it looked like that.”

Castiel nods mutely, and Dean sighs and glances sharply away, and then back again.

“Come on, Cas, jesus. Something’s up, so whatever it is, just tell me.” He looks at Castiel for a long time, and then he says it again. In a different voice, quieter, with a little rise at the end as though of hope or something equally as stupid for Castiel to consider. “Tell me.”

It’s said in a way that makes Castiel want to believe he’s asking for all the things Castiel wants to give.

Dean’s eyes are wide, too. Like he can’t quite believe what he’s asking.

And Castiel’s human heart is pounding at that tone in his voice, that look on his face, because it feels as though – tentatively – they could be talking about the same thing. The longer Castiel watches Dean’s face, the more he sees it. There are the little flickers of denial, uncertainty, in the way Dean’s eyes narrow for a half-moment. And then there again is the rise of hope in the depth of Dean’s gaze, the openness.

It’s so small and barely-there that Castiel can’t trust it. He can’t know how this ends. It’s a rope thrown into down into his well, though, and with no idea what waits for him at the top, he still puts his hand on it and wonders if he’s strong enough to begin to climb.

“I, um.” He starts to speak, and his voice is low and rough. When he pauses almost immediately, Dean shifts his weight from one foot to the other, licks his lips. Castiel searches for the words. “I tried staking that peach rose. But it didn’t do any good.”

Dean looks confused. He doesn’t even bother to look down at the rose, just keeps his eyes on Castiel.

“What…” he says.

“It just grew that way,” Castiel says. He can feel a lump in his throat. “Naturally. It wanted to grow that way.”

“Okay,” Dean says, as though slightly concerned for Castiel’s sanity.

“I think sometimes it’s just like that,” Castiel says. He meets Dean’s eyes. “You can try planting them in the place you want them. Cut them back. Put a stake through them.” He resists the sudden, unexpected urge to reach up and touch the place on his chest where, years ago, Dean buried a knife in his heart. He swallows. “But sometimes there are things you can’t control. And even if it’s not… not healthy, or pretty, or the way it’s supposed to go… that’s how they’ll grow. Just towards the place they want to be.”

Dean’s listening intently, but his eyes are clouded with confusion. He looks like he wants to say something, and then stops himself. Castiel can’t blame him for not understanding, when half the point is that he’s talking without getting to the point. He doesn’t want to get to that sharp-split point when his life takes one of two courses, when Dean says one of two things.

“Dean, I…” Castiel says, and his hand reaches out. Unconsciously, awkwardly, the straggling limb of a plant that has never grown the way it should have done. And Castiel goes to catch himself, to stop letting his fingers trail through the air reaching for a place they can’t go – but then Dean takes his hand.

Dean takes his hand, and holds onto it. Not sweetly, not softly. Hard. Like they’re at the top of a cliff and Dean’s afraid of losing his grip and having to watch Castiel fall alone.

Castiel can barely breathe. Against the odds his hand is being held by Dean. Against the way that his words desert him, against the thousands of reasons that the two of them shouldn’t have ever even met, let alone be standing here together in a garden. Against all of it, Castiel’s hand is squeezed tight in Dean’s.

There’s a part of Castiel that’s trying to pinch itself, that’s shaking its head in denial, but Dean’s grip is warm and real.

“Cas,” Dean says. “Do you…”

The question has no ending, but it’s Dean, so the answer is yes. Castiel nods.

Dean’s expression seems, with just the smallest of looks in his eyes, to break apart. He holds onto Castiel’s hand and says nothing, doesn’t move.

“And…” Castiel says, but his throat goes dry. He can do this. He has to do this. If he doesn’t now, he never will. He tries again. “And… you?”

Dean looks momentarily bewildered.

“Yeah, Cas,” he says.

Castiel feels himself go light, so suddenly his stomach flips.

Yeah, Cas, he hears in his head. Yeah, Cas.

On another day, when Castiel hadn’t just told Dean how he feels through a series of oblique angles – when Castiel’s hand wasn’t still being held in the rough warmth of Dean’s – Castiel might have been indignant at that tone in Dean’s voice. As though it had been obvious, when yes, half the time Dean was staring at him like he actually mattered, was ready to die for him – but the rest of the time Dean couldn’t look at him, was ready to die for anything.

Their hands swing a little between them. Just their arm muscles getting a little tired, and their hands moving together. Such a very little thing to happen, Castiel thinks. So very small. After all this time it’s just one hand in another, and it means absolutely crushingly everything, in the way that he’d known it would.

It’s happening, he thinks. It’s happening. We’re the same. We’re the same.

A little clutch of fear that he might change, one day. Wake up and be something else, unexpectedly. Grow again, in a direction Dean doesn’t –

Castiel breathes. It’s alright. He’s torn out his grace for this. He can be the person Dean needs. He can change himself again. Over and over, if needs be.

He holds Dean’s hand. Tight. He can always change again. He can make them the same again. Whatever it takes. For this, for the feeling of Dean's hand in his, it would be worth it, anything would be worth it. But –

Dean’s grip goes slack in his own.

“Wait,” Dean says. “Wait. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Castiel says. He holds tighter. “Nothing.”

Dean’s hand drops Castiel’s. The loosening of his grip is a slow-motion whip crack across Castiel’s chest.

“No?” Dean says, looking at Castiel, asking with the single word whether Castiel doesn’t want anything that just happened. He puts his hands up just a little way, maybe a surrender, maybe just a gesture to show he isn’t touching.

“Wait,” Castiel says, his hand still in place, still reaching. It shows, then, he thinks to himself. That sickle-curve sharpness in his chest, the fear in him that he won’t always be able to fit himself to what Dean wants, it must show. Dean can see it. Castiel lifts his chin, tries to look as though he’s feeling incredibly happy, instead of just incredibly much. “Dean, why are you –”

“Cas…” Dean’s eyes are searching his face, looking for the place where something is wrong. Castiel wants to cut in, insist that nothing is wrong. Take Dean’s hand again, reach for more – he could reach for more, he thinks, and his heart twists, and his head feels light. He could reach for more. Dean might let him. Dean was holding his hand for a moment, there, by choice, as though it really meant something. Castiel’s mouth is dry.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel tries. But his stomach is sinking, even as he’s aching with the terrifying joy of the sudden opening of all the doors he’d always thought were closed for him.

Dean can see that he’s scared. Dean is going to figure it all out. And then those doors will close again.

“I mean…” Dean says. He blinks, shakes his head just slightly. Seems to remember where exactly he is, glancing around at Castiel’s garden. It’s all slipping out of Castiel’s grasp. They’re going to pretend as though the last two minutes never happened, Castiel can feel it.

It’s unbearable. It’s unbearable. The idea of having had it for barely a few seconds, and then losing it. Castiel reaches for words, for anything – something that will show Dean how much it all means to him, how far he’ll go to make it work.

“We’re both human,” he says, almost blurts. “I took out my grace. So we can be… so I can stay.”

Took out, he thinks to himself. What a clinical way to talk about the tearing, the self-destruction, the loss.

Dean just looks at him, mouth slightly open.

This is supposed to be the part where Dean argues, Castiel realises only when it doesn’t come. This is the part where Dean asks me what the hell I was thinking. Tells me to put the grace damn well back where it came from, and to stop making terrible decisions. And then I argue back, and tell him I’ll do what I want to do with my own grace, and I made this choice for him, and I’d do it again.

But Dean isn’t saying anything. He’s just staring. And Castiel stares, too. He can’t argue back when Dean hasn’t started the fight. He can’t push back if Dean never pushed forward. So they stand in silence. The clouds overhead roll on, oblivious to the hearts frantically pounding so far beneath them.

“Cas,” Dean says, and he says it differently to how he’s supposed to – quietly, carefully, handling the name like it’s made of something delicate. “I don’t know what you want me to say, man.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Castiel says.

“But you… you did that…”

Castiel watches him mutely.

“Why?” Dean asks.

So many answers. To be like you. To be near you. To show you I can change for you. Castiel opens his mouth and tries not to say too much.

“For – this,” Castiel says, managing to stop himself saying, for you.

“This?”

“This,” Castiel says, holding Dean’s gaze.

Dean holds his gaze.

“But it – ah. Jesus, Cas, this is hard to talk about.”

Castiel nods. He doesn’t want to let it go – feels sick at the idea of Dean just dropping the subject, and heading back inside, leaving the garden and forgetting all about what they’d said to each other. Chalking it up as somewhere he’d never go again. Too much baggage, too heavy, not worth it.

Dean puffs out his cheeks, though, and breathes out sharply, and says,

“It’s just that, hell, man, you never had to take the grace out to have… you know… anything you wanted out of me.” Dean looks uncertain as he says the last part, as though a little disbelieving that Castiel could want anything from him in particular. “You know that. Right?”

His voice is so different. So gentle in a way that Castiel only barely recognises from the most private of moments they’ve shared. Castiel is suddenly so intensely aware that they’re the only two in the garden, alone with each other. No one else to see them or hear them or judge what they say to each other. It’s a thought that gives him courage.

“I’ve changed for you since the beginning,” Castiel says. Dean opens his mouth, and then closes it, his eyes troubled. Castiel watches him, thinking. “Or –” he starts, as a new thought occurs to him. “Or, changed because of you, at least.”

Dean still looks confused, as though he doesn’t really see the difference. To Castiel, though, it feels clear as day. He changed because he met Dean – without that meeting, he would still be the angel he’d always been. But when he thought about it, the person he changed for was himself. Because it had felt right. Because it felt, period, and that was what he’d wanted.

It loops round and round perfectly in Castiel’s mind. Meeting Dean, the push Castiel needed to start running. And knowing Dean, now, the pull Castiel needs to keep changing, stay with him, stay together.

“I just thought,” Castiel says, when Dean stays silent, “if I could be human like you, then maybe you’d… maybe we could be the same. And stay that way.”

“And you want that,” Dean says.

“Yes.”

“Because…”

“Because,” Castiel says, a little taken aback, “I want… this.”

“But why’d we have to be the same for that? I mean – this?” Dean frowns, as though almost losing track of what he’s trying to say. They’re trying to talk all around it without using any words that are too big.

“Why…” Castiel trails off as he considers the question.

Dean shrugs, in a way that battles to look uncaring and ends up looking heartfelt.

“But… we need to be the same,” Castiel says. He wants them to be close like two leaves on a tree. Closer, two petals on a flower. No, closer still, not even two things. Just one, one plant, growing strong. He wants them that close, that inseparable, after so long being forced apart by fate and circumstance. No would-be gods or divine powers could set them apart if they were one thing. The same.

“But we aren’t the same, Cas,” Dean says, so quietly that Castiel only just hears it over the little burst of breeze that briefly ruffles over them.

Castiel feels his chest clench.

“I’m trying…” he says.

“No, I mean – I mean we can’t be,” Dean says. “I mean, we aren’t, ‘cause we’re… you know… two different people. There it is, you know? Different people. We can’t be exactly the same.”

“But…” Castiel starts, and the word comes out sounding almost angry, so he checks himself and looks down. “But,” he starts again, “if I can just…”

“C’mon,” Dean says, the smallest of smiles softening one side of his mouth. “You wouldn’t really want two of me running around the place, would you?”

“That’s not how I meant it,” Castiel answers, his voice serious, but with a lightness in his eyes to acknowledge Dean’s brush with humour.

“Come to think of it, though,” Dean says, “I’d get a lot more work done on the car if there were two of me. And we could harmonise on Zepp tracks. Maybe you are onto something.”

“Dean,” Castiel says, though he can feel his heart lifting just seeing Dean reaching out for him, trying to make him smile.

“I wouldn’t let you share my toothbrush, though, no way.” Dean looks around the garden. “And this would have to go. Hate to break it to you, but no way are you digging around in the dirt for hours if you’re me. Not unless there’s something to salt and burn at the end of it.”

“I know,” Castiel says, and the words sound little and obstinate, but his hands relax. Dean is looking at him like he gets it – like he sees that curling fear inside Castiel, the one that can’t let them be two different and separate things that just happen by the grace of luck to be next to each other. Because luck runs out, and they both know it. The only way to be sure of staying together, the fear says, is to be so much the same as to be one thing.

But it’s impossible. Castiel can’t be Dean. And Dean’s right, too, because Castiel doesn’t really want to be. He doesn’t want to give up gardening. He doesn’t want to work on Dean’s car. He doesn’t want to share a toothbrush.

He wants to spend time growing things. He wants his own hands in the dirt. He wants – he wants Dean, in the way that he has done since meeting Dean. And he wants to keep wanting.

Even if he didn’t want it, it’s what is. They’re two plants next to each other. Hoping not to be uprooted, hoping for sun, hoping for kind hands that stake them upright and water them even when they won’t flower. Always at the mercy of whatever storms might come, however hard Castiel tries to tangle himself together with Dean, camouflage with him, become just the same.

There are plants that do that, Castiel remembers. Plants that tangle and blend with other plants. They’re weeds. They choke out the first plant, cut off all its light and food until it dies. Two things can’t become one thing without loss. And Castiel doesn’t want to lose Dean – and, he realises quite suddenly, he also doesn’t want to lose himself. There’s so much he wants to do.

Things he might be able to do.

He looks at Dean, who’s watching him piece it all together, giving him time in silence, or maybe just struggling to find more words. But either way, Dean is still here. Dean is in front of him. A moment ago, they were hand in hand.

They could be again.

“You good?” Dean asks, seeming to sense Castiel come to a conclusion.

“Yes,” Castiel says. Dean visibly relaxes, shoulders easing under his coat. Castiel wants to put his hands on those shoulders. He wants to reach out. He wants to touch. He wants, wants, wants, and it feels like still growing, it feels like still changing, it feels like being alive. Like being himself.

He wants to hear Dean’s heartbeat. He wants his grace back. With a sudden absolute certainty, Castiel feels how much he wants his grace back.

He meets Dean’s eyes, and says simply,

“It’s here.”

Dean cocks an eyebrow, catching Castiel’s mood without his meaning.

“It’s here?”

“My grace,” Castiel says. “You were asking where it was. It’s here.”

“Here?” Dean looks confused.

Castiel can feel his mood unfurling, the parts of himself that he’s pushed away and hidden – the parts that have known all along he wants his grace back – finally allowed to breathe, finally being given what they need. He turns his attention to his garden, bending down next to the peach rose that has been so wilfully refusing to blossom.

“I didn’t expect anything to grow when I buried it here,” Castiel says to Dean, over his shoulder. “But then the first flowers came, and so I bought more, and then I put in the fence, and – it helped, being able to come here.” He puts out his hand towards the peach rose, speaking meditatively, almost not quite to Dean at all.

His fingertips brush the tightly closed buds, the sharpness of the thorns. Castiel lets that want for his grace rise up in him, unafraid of the feeling now that he knows it can be acted on. He closes his eyes, and feels for his grace.

It’s right there, waiting for him.

Brilliant and electric. Fast, so fast, and all colours, colours so bright they hiss and spit as they rocket up the stem of the peach rose and through Castiel’s fingers, filling his body with a fierce familiar hum. Castiel breathes in and smells every flower in the garden at once and the breeze and the tang of sap and the rich wetness of the soil and there, behind him, Dean. He breathes out ozone, heady.

He can feel the hat on his head, the way it rests on each hair. He can feel Dean’s closeness, the way the atoms of air jumble between them.

He can feel the sunshine on his face when it finally breaks through the clouds overhead.

The world is turning beneath his feet as it should. The plants around him are creaking as they grow. Dean is breathing a little quicker than usual, and Dean’s heartbeat – there it is. That sound Castiel has missed since the day he tore out his grace. Thud thud, thud thud, thud thud. Castiel closes his eyes more tightly and focuses in on it, loses himself briefly in its rhythm.

“Cas?” Dean says. His voice has all the layers Castiel can hear as an angel. Richer, deeper. He can hear the roughness that comes from the light scarring in Dean’s throat after years of hunting, calling out warnings and yelling in shock. He can hear the exact pitch at which Dean ends the single word, the note that means it’s a question and it’s shy and it’s hopeful and Dean is trying to hide all of it.

The sun is bright when Castiel opens his eyes. There on the peach rose, at the tip of the stem through which he drew out his grace from the earth, is a full-blossom flower. Blushing petals unfurled, just waiting to be looked at, to be touched. Castiel reaches up a finger, and presses it to the velvet centre.

He stands up, and turns to Dean, who’s looking at him with something in his eyes that’s just the same. Newly unfurled, wanting touch.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says, and Dean’s face relaxes.

“Here all along, huh.” Dean says. “Damn it, Cas. And there was me, worrying where to find it for no goddamn reason.” The words are irritable but Dean’s tone is a betrayal of them, because it’s so gentle, so serious. Serious enough that Castiel doesn’t feel silly when he takes a step forward, closer to Dean.

He meets Dean’s eyes silently, asking a question.

“You still…?” Dean says.

Still what exactly, Castiel wonders. Still want this? Still want you? Still look at you and think about how anything else I’ve tried to care about felt like trying to follow a script written for a part I was never meant to play, but with you caring grows up without me even trying like a wild rose in good earth?

The answer to all of it is yes. It’s Dean, after all. The answer is yes.

Castiel doesn’t use words to say it. Dean barely used them to ask the question, it was all in his eyes and the way he’s still holding his arms slightly out to the sides as though hoping to have a reason to put them around someone, and so Castiel gives him a reason.

The closeness – Castiel has always thought it might be jarring, if it ever happened, to be in Dean’s space like this. Something he’s wanted for so long and imagined so many times that the reality would be strange. But it’s not strange, it’s – it’s just a little slow, and hushed. It’s so quiet in the garden as they come together. Hand touching hand. Then arms reaching up. Castiel’s eyes tracing the lines of Dean’s face, finally having time to do it in as much time as he chooses, because Dean’s going a pleased shade of red under his gaze.

“I, uh,” Dean says, his voice a little hoarse. Castiel tilts his head at a slight angle. “I, uh. I don’t know how to do this. When it’s you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I – I don’t know if you want me to…” Dean’s eyes drop to Castiel’s lips. Through angel’s eyes, Castiel can see the slight tremor in him, the way he leans in just a little and then pulls back, the way his muscles are tightening in uncertainty.

“Yes,” says Castiel simply. He reaches up, and tilts his hat back.

“But you… it’s…” Dean looks at him helplessly.

And Castiel thinks perhaps he understands. This thing between them, the way that Castiel feels, it’s – it’s alive, it’s wider and deeper than the sky. It’s everything. And they’re supposed to, what, kiss about it? As though it were the end of a fairy tale? The end of a second date?

But then, they’ve done all the rest of it before. They’ve done blood and big choices. They’ve done hands grasping for each other against every rule, against all the smart money. And now there’s just this.

There’s just Castiel leaning forwards, and seeing relief and happiness break through on Dean’s face like sunshine for a second, before they kiss.

Castiel feels his wings unfurl.

It’s still not Heaven. It’s not even close. But – Castiel pulls back, and sees the expression on Dean’s face, the way his eyes are wide and unbelieving and so, so happy. But it’s a place, where Castiel is growing things.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jack Bass x Younger!Reader || Oneshot

Title: Bass's.

Notes:

I have no idea when this is supposed to be set. Just go with it.

I have two things to say about Jack in this gif, though. 1. Does he not know how to carry a tray. And 2. I love this statement, here. Its like 'Bart's Dead, Chuck. I can barely contain my joy, Chuck. Its taking all my willpower, Chuck, to keep a monotonous expression. Also Chuck I am carrying a tray, do you see this?'

Plot: Bart Bass decides to be his creepy fucking self (Not that Jack is exponentially better in any way but whatever) towards you, Chuck's best friend- but thankfully, Jack accidentally walks in on the scene and gives you a get out of jail free card.

Good old 'lesser of two evils' shit. I love stuff like that.

Warnings: BART BASS being predatory, and a bit of age difference (You and Jack. I'm going by actors ages though so there's only a, like, 11 year age gap between him and Chuck which is not that bad if you ask me). Sexual references.

~~~

Chuck looks from his phone, that's flashing Blairs name, to you and your big, wide eyes and lips mouthing 'Don't you dare', then to his father quietly tapping away on his phone on the couch a few feet away... then back at his phone.

"Charles- " You hiss, prepared to threaten his very existence but he cuts you off first- slipping off the bar stool beside you and heading for the hallway.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Why am I friends with him again!? You think, but stay quiet and hope that Bart doesn't realise that you're back there despite having said hello to you earlier when he came in. You think, if you stay quiet like a mouse, he will forget your existence and keep texting until Chuck gets back- although, who knows how long he and Blair can go on for.

Depends what its about, honestly. If its about revenge or espionage... well, the conversation could last quite some time.

Should I just leave?

The impulse to run away is a strong one, as you sit there with your cheeks heating up and you start to feel nauseated. You never liked Bart Bass, from the moment you met him. Before that, actually. You had heard Chuck talking about him to Nate before you even became friends with them, and none of what you heard was good. And then you did meet him, one day when Chuck invited you over to do a school project. Or 'school project' as he so obnoxiously put it. You really did end up just doing a school project, though. Hence your friendship nowadays. Bart was creepy towards you even then, at 16 with terribly died hair and the wrong eyeshadow.

You've been very careful since then to never be alone with him like this. You would talk to him at parties if you were forced to, say hello to him when Chuck had you at his place and the man walked by, but that is the extent of your communication with the creep. Always, always, someone would be around. Chuck, mostly. But also staff, or Nate, or random fundraiser ladies, or Jack who Chuck the bastard never left alone with all willy-nilly like this, unfortunately, or Lily, or literally anyone else possible on the earth.

You've even hidden away in the men's bathroom, which is disgusting no matter how expensive the restaurant, with Nate before to get away from this man when Chuck once ditched you both at a dinner with him. And that's the story of how you got your first kiss, too, and it was from Nate Archibald. Hell yes.

That's how much this man makes you want to grab your bag and flee.

But you don't. You stay glued to your seat, super still, listening only to the tap-tap-tapping noises that Bart makes and the bump-bump-bump noises your heart is making right into your throbbing ears.

Until it stops.

Not the bump-bump-bumping, oh no. The tapping. And, nightmarishly, it's replaced by a groan and footsteps coming towards your turned back.

"Y/N," As soon as he says your name, his hands fall on your your shoulders and you literally jump under his touch. Shit- Shit- Fuck- what's happening- "I've been meaning to speak with you recently but Chuck- ah. Well you know him. He refused to share with me your telephone number. But I knew you'd turn up here at some point, so not to worry."

"Uh... right." You cant even force yourself to be your normal, cheery, polite self in this position. You just want him to get. off. of. you.

"Did you want a drink?" He asks, in that possibly cheery (But only because its slightly louder then his usual husk level) but mostly still scary voice he uses to convey emotion, letting go of you thankfully and rounding to the other side of the bar. You shake your head, though. He raises his brows, picking out a scotch for himself. "You don't drink? Shocking, seeing as you're friends with my son."

Oh I drink. You think, giving him a shrug. Just not in situations like this one. Also, what must he think of Chuck? Jesus Christ. For sure, your boy likes debauchery but what's wrong with that?

"Well, I like that." Bart pauses before pouring his drink, to appreciate you. "Mature."

Damn it. It makes your skin absolutely crawl.

"So... " You take a deep breath, tucking your hair back behind your ears rather then ruffling it back like you usually would to get it out of your face- lest that be recognised as some kind of extremely subtle form of flirting. God, fear makes you think weird things. "What did you want to discuss?"

"Oh- Just, your future. Where are you going to school? Will you be sticking close to us?"

Us? US? No, I'll be far far away, from you.

You don't really want to tell Bart where you're going to be going to school, because in your fear addled brain you know that that will just lead to 'Which campus?', or 'Where will you be staying?' and you really don't want it to go there.

You're just taking another, shakier deep breath, when the front door of the apartment opens and shuts loudly and set of feet trample down the hallway towards you. Immediately total relief plashes over you and you wipe your face. Oh, thank god.

Jack Bass appears in the doorway to the living room, looking as put-together yet somehow simultaneously still totally relaxed, as always, and forces aa polite smile onto his handsome face. "Brother. Y/N? Its good to see you."

You have no idea. "Good to see you too Jack. Uh- Chuck's in the bathroom."

"Thanks. For that... enlightening, information, Y/N. I needed that." You cheeks flare up in embarrassment, but ultimately you just roll your eyes as Jack flashes you a subtle wink, and turns promptly to his - much, - older brother. "Bart."

The older brother in question looks less then pleased at his baby brothers appearance in his home. Right now. And he possibly isn't thrilled about that little wink, either. Like you two are in on some kind of joke together. "Jack... What are you doing here?"

"Simmer down, bro. Just visiting." Even you know that that excuse is weak, but anything that comes out Jack's own monotonous voice right now is blessed where you're concerned so you certainly don't say anything. Or make any faces, which would be more appropriate. "Y/N, I don't think Bart-man here's too happy about my presence." Hm, no. You'd have to agree with that observation- not that you've looked up at Bart since Jack came in. You wont risk it. Jack glides through the room with the practised grace of a man who's lived 3 quarters of his life in suits and the other, happier quarter in board shorts, and ends up right next to your chair, an arm resting on the bench in front of you.

If you weren't already so nervous about Bart, you would blush about Jack.

"At least tell me you're glad to see me."

You grin, which is less forced then you thought it would be prior to trying it. Damn, he's good. You think, realising he just swepped in here and made you comfortable in less then 50 words. "Always, 'Uncle Jack'."

"Oh," He groans, like it physically pained him to hear you tease him like that. A tiny smirk even slips through his usually emotionless - well, not emotionless. He has one standing colour, that being sly, - stone statue of a face. "'Uncle Jack'- Please, stop. I'm barely a decade older then you."

That's enough to make anything else possible, inappropriate. Unfortunately. "Hey, I said I'm glad to see you." You wink, a bit sly yourself. "Count your blessings."

His grin widens a bit, like the dangerously charming Cheshire cat-type that he is. Genes that Chuck inherited, clearly, if his track record with girls say anything at all, but that Bart obviously missed out on. "You've got a point."

"She's a remarkable young woman." Bart pipes up, making your stomach tie itself up in knots again, and you immediately revert your gaze to your lap. Remarkable young woman... you want to barf. "Who, I was actually having a conversation with before you burst in here, unannounced." He takes a slow sip of his drink, then mutters. "And uninvited."

"Well that's great." Jack straightens up, clapping his hands together and finally showing his teeth in a smile. They're really freaken white, compared to his skin, deeply tanned by the hot Australian sun. "A visit would be kinda uncomfortable without a conversation; I'll join. I can converse with the best of 'em, Bart. I assure you."

"It was private." The old man sneers, thinking that he's got the upper hand on Jack, and all you can do is hope to god that he's wrong.

Jack turns his head back to look at you, and you meet his gaze tentatively. Your eyes scream, 'Please don't leave me alone with that guy'. He promptly looks back to Bart. "Well Bart why don't we ask the lady in the room what she wants? We are gentlemen here aren't we?" Then Jack makes a face, all crumpled up and unsure, for a moment. "Err. Well actually... 'gentleman' might be a bold faced lie. We'll ask anyway. Y/N! Do you mind if I weigh in here?"

"Not at all." You say quickly, flashing a tiny, thankful smile. He gives you another wink- this time actually subtle. So Bart didn't see it. Your smile gets a little bit bigger, relaxing. He's got you.

"Great." You watch him pull out the stool beside you, that Chuck - who has still not returned from his phone call with Blair. You assume some, likely cruel vengeance must be involved. Possibly involving that Humphrey guy, - had vacated and settles down in it. He then sets his arms firmly on the bench and looks up attentively at Bart, not breaking eye contact with him. Boy these Bass's like their stare downs. "So?" He prompts, expectantly. And a little arrogantly- a Bass speciality that you truly don't mind at all. "What's on the agenda, today?"

Bart glares heatedly, back.

~

Throughout the awkward discussion between the three of you, which your good friend Chuck has yet to return to discover - at this point you're resigned to him having climbed out the window and scaled the building probably, - , Jack constantly, skilfully changes the subject for you whenever Bart rears to close to somewhere uncomfortable. He makes jokes that make you laugh, he nudges you with his elbow at times - but never touches you any more then that, although you honestly wouldn't mind it if he did, - and takes the attention off you a lot. At times you truly thought you saw steam come out of Bart's ears.

When finally Bart gives up and excuses himself, saying he as an early dinner with Lily, you feel exhausted and relieved. After the door swings shut behind him, you cover your face with your hands and deeply sigh.

"So, what was that about? You looked like a trapped mouse. I recognise that look, I invented that look." You pull back slightly from your hands and glance over at him, to see him thoughtful for a moment. "Well, not by making it. By... causing... it... Either way, it was not good." He shakes his head, taking a sip of his own drink - scotch, - that he made Bart pour for him; Raising his eyebrows at you for an explanation over the rim of the glass.

Jack's always been great, like this. Even when he was horrible, he was the lesser of two evils between him and Bart. Good for a laugh and quality eye candy in a pinch- and that counts for a hell of a lot when it comes to surviving Bart Bass and the Upper East Side. And he had the power and pull of an adult, but knew what the hell was going on like one of you.

So he always made you feel at ease.

You ruffle your hair back, and sigh, straightening your back finally from their hunched over position they live in when you're uncomfortable and pushing back your shoulders. "He was just, saying some weird stuff... and Chuck disappeared to talk to Blair." At that, Jack nods in total understanding. Like ah, yeah. Got ya. Finally, you shrug. "He just makes me really uncomfortable. No offence, but I hate your brother."

As you watch Jack's eyes don't even flicker; He's totally on board with what you've said. Then he finishes the rest of his scotch in one gulp. "Ahh- I hate him too."

"As do we all." Chuck's voice suddenly pops up, as he appears in the doorway like Jack had earlier. You have to practice some serious self control so as to not laugh, at Chuck so coincidentally turning up again at the perfect moment to proclaim his hatred for his father. Jack grins back at Chuck coldly, nodding. Yeah. "Anyway, Y/N, I apologise but I'll be having to abandon you. Blair's waiting for me at her, empty, apartment." He pauses for a moment for dramatic effect, in perfect Chuck Bass fashion, and you roll your eyes, grinning. Jack smirks. "But you're welcome to stick around a while and help yourself to the amenities All on my tab, of course. Good to see you again, Jack." Then he pockets his phone and heads toward the door. The second Bass of the day leaves the building.

"Bye, nephew!" Jack waives as the elevator doors close behind Chuck then swiftly turns around back to you, to which you raise your eyebrows. "So, what do we do now?"

"I dunno." Shrugging you grin and turn your stool to angle your legs towards Jack. "When Chuck says those magical words 'All on my tab'," Those words, oh; You speak them with just as much raw, breathy sexual arousal as the man himself would. As the words demand. 'All on my tab'. Good lord, sex if they were words. "I tend to take advantage."

"An easy girl to please; That's what I like to see." Your cheeks flame up at those words out of Jack's mouth as he turns to look down at the room service menu. Yes, Jack Bass has toed the line, between platonic and flirtatious since the very moment you met the man... but that seemed a little bit more then toeing the line.

And you get a far different reaction to him doing it then you do the other Bass brother.

You don't even really mind the implications of his words.

"You're staying back with me?" You ask, feeling hopeful at the idea.

"Yeah well, I cant in, uh, good conscience," He makes a bit of a show to you, of pressing his hand to his chest totally earnestly as those words 'good conscience' come out of his mouth. "leave you here unguarded in case Bart comes back, can I? Besides, the way you said 'All on my tab'- man, you could sell moonshine at an AA meeting with that voice."

"Ha," You laugh, rolling your eyes and shaking your head. "Well, thanks."

"Oh. Don't thank me. You're just using what uh, your mama gave you. I actually encourage you totally, to do that more often- "

"No!" You exclaim, sighing in exasperation; But there is still a smile on your face you cant seem to shake. "For not leaving, today. When you walked in. It would've sucked if you had, not that I would've blamed you at all."

"Hey, just call me your knight in shining armour." He doesn't look up from the menu, flicking through it. Then turns to you with one of those beach boy/politician, toothless grins of his. "Besides you were automatically, my favourite person in the apartment. I mean, anyone with... uhhh- different, appendages to what I have, instantly gets a one-way ticket access to my rare bouts of chivalry. Now come over here, pick out what you want off here."

You just gape at him and that comment, making him stifle a laugh and return to the menu himself.

Bass's.

[obiwanobi]

I'm just so very enamored with the idea of Dooku als Obi-Wans Master at the moment. There are so many possibilities, I'm going crazy. I love your writing style and your ideas, so I would be so very happy to know your thoughts about this.

At first, I was going to say “oh, is this a nice AU where taking Obi-Wan as his padawan makes Dooku stay in the Order and the whole lineage is happier?” but then I thought, ‘wait, no, I’m only here to make a dramatic tragedy out of everything’ and I got really into it and wrote 2k about it 🤷‍♀️

So let’s say that Qui-Gon still takes Obi-Wan as his padawan first, and that’s how he meets his grandmaster, Dooku, who’s still a Jedi at this point in time.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan aren’t a good match at first, and it’s the same, even a bit worse than that, in this AU: Obi-Wan might be grateful to have been chosen and be eager to learn, but their rocky start as a master and padawan duo and their very different approach to, well, basically everything, make things a bit awkward.

But Dooku? Obi-Wan adores Dooku.

Dooku is the antithesis of Qui-Gon; he is a fascinating orator, has a practical mind, favours a pragmatic approach to problems, and is also one of the best duellists in the Temple. And he’s almost certain that Dooku likes him too. His grandmaster might be intimidating at first (he’s even taller than master Jinn for Force’s sake,) but he also raised Qui-Gon, so the man has seen it all and can’t be surprised by anything anymore. When he comes to visit Qui-Gon, Dooku never forgets to ask Obi-Wan how his training is going, what form he likes the best (Obi-Wan doesn’t miss the opportunity to say that he finds Makashi particularly elegant and almost gets a smile in return) and one day, he even ends up helping him write a geopolitical paper about a planet Dooku has spent almost a year on. It warms Obi-Wan to feel a connection to their lineage when he doesn’t really understand his own master, and watching Dooku and Qui-Gon, two very different personalities, getting along so well, also gives him hope that he will one day have the same type of relationship with his master.

But then, Melida/Daan happens.

Obi-Wan decides to stay, and Qui-Gon leaves the planet with one less padawan. It takes a bit of time before Dooku manages to get Qui-Gon to talk about what happened and where is his favourite grandpadawan, but when he realises that Qui-Gon left Obi-Wan in a warzone, Dooku is outraged, and is on Melida/Daan three days later to formally ask Obi-Wan to reconsider leaving the Order. It takes a bit of time before Obi-Wan truly starts thinking about it, because “Master Jinn will never take me back. I’m very sorry, Master Dooku, but he was the only one who was willing to take me as his padawan. No one else will, especially now.” and Dooku scoffs, because he wouldn’t travel to the outer rim for anyone, and of course he’s planning to personally train him. He saw the potential in him, and would hate to see it go to waste. All of this if Obi-Wan can assure him that he won’t rebel at every opportunity, of course, because he won’t accept the betrayal of his trust. 

They both leave the planet together, as Master and Padawan. 

The next few months are... strenuous. Adapting to Dooku’s teaching methods is harder than Obi-Wan expected. His new master asks for discipline, practicality and complete control of oneself at all time, and doesn’t accept any nonsenses. It’s not something Obi-Wan really knows how to do after months with Qui-Gon “don’t think, just do” Jinn. There is also a new distance between Dooku and Qui-Gon that Obi-Wan knows is his fault, but can’t do much about it; he still hasn’t said more than two words to Qui-Gon since Melida/Daan (apologies that his master- former master accepted with a cordial bow and that was it) and is in no hurry to change that.

Nevertheless, Obi-Wan is happy. Dooku might be a bit snobbish, makes imperious demands and even disagrees with the Council just like his former padawan, but he also explains to Obi-Wan why his decisions and insistence on certain parts of his training are necessary, doesn’t shy away from philosophical questions about the Force or the Order (even if his opinion is sometimes bordering on blasphemy,) and is, after all, one of the most skilled Master in the Temple. He might be a severe figure of authority to everyone else, but his hidden smile at a witty remark from his padawan, or the use of a diplomatic loophole to get his way without having to ignite his lightsaber, always gets him a gentle hand on his shoulder and an almost-satisfied smile. It’s more than enough for him. 

And then, Qui-Gon brings Anakin Skywalker to the Temple.

Obi-Wan tries not to think too much about the rumours that say that he went all the way to the outer rim to get himself a new padawan. A padawan he chose this time. A padawan who’s the Chosen One.

 “Ridiculous,” Master Dooku scorns, his expression so dismissive that the few gossipy padawans (and knights!) around scatter in a second. “I saw the boy, and if this raggedy child is the Chosen One who’s supposed to save us all, we should all start building our own funeral pyre to save us some time.”

“Master, really,” Obi-Wan sighs, half-reprimand, half-amusement. He’s still glad his master shares his distaste with the idea of taking a child too old and too attached. 

And then, Qui-Gon Jinn almost dies on Naboo. 

The other Jedi that went with him doesn’t have the same luck. Dooku doesn’t huff and roll his eyes this time. He does spend a lot of time in the Halls of Healing at his former padawan’s bed. Apparently, Qui-Gon has been badly hurt, and if he should walk again soon, probably with a walking stick, he will never be able to maintain enough stamina to fight with a lightsaber again. It doesn’t stop him from wanting to train the boy, and even the Council and Dooku, for once on the same side, aren’t enough to dissuade him. 

And then, everything goes too fast. 

Obi-Wan is talking about possible hidden Sith in the galaxy at the breakfast table, and suddenly Dooku says “I’m leaving the Order”, and then he’s knighted by a master who tells him he’s glad his last accomplishment as a Jedi is something he’s proud of, and then his master leaves without a real explanation, and then they make a bust of him in the library like he’s dead, and Obi-Wan asks himself if he’s going to feel abandoned all his life. 

And then, Anakin Skywalker bumps into him. 

“You’re Obi-Wan!” he says way too loudly, looking up at him in wonder.

It’s Knight Kenobi to you, a voice that sounds suspiciously like his master echoes in his mind. But no matter how much Obi-Wan admires his master, he could never be as rigid as him.

“Master Qui-Gon said you were his padawan once,” Anakin says, excited, and Obi-Wan has never wanted to run from a conversation that badly before. “And that you were... the padawan of my... grandmaster? I think? So that means we’re sort of like cousins, right?”

“Not really, no. Jedi don’t think about the Order as a traditional family. I don’t mean that we’re not one, young one,” he adds when Anakin’s expression turns to dejection, “we just have a different approach to kinship. In a way, we’re all brothers and sisters.”

And that, of course, is the exact thing he shouldn't have said.

“So you’re my brother then? Wizard! I’ve never had a brother before! Does that mean you will spar with me? I want to learn EVERYTHING about lightsabers, for example, do they have unlimited energy? Can it really go through everything? Because I heard beskar—” 

Obi-Wan isn’t proud to say that he feels the urgent need to get away from him and never come in contact with that child ever again. 

But after their first encounter, Anakin doesn’t leave him any choice. Every time Obi-Wan gets some time off, the padawan is here, scarily good at annoying him until Obi-Wan gives up pretending to ignore him. 

He probably should be sterner with him. After all, he doesn’t own the child anything. But Anakin is always so happy to see him, impressed when Obi-Wan demonstrates the most acrobatic of Ataru’s movements, and eager to learn from him. Sometimes, he imagines Master Dooku’s face confronted with Anakin, and can’t help but laugh out loud.  It helps to forget the void Dooku left in his life for a time.

(There aren’t a lot of holos sent to him from Serenno these days. Dooku must be busy.)

“My master can’t fight,” Anakin says petulantly one day, plopping down on Obi-Wan’s couch like the sulky teenager he is, “He’s restricted to the Temple or boring political missions, and so am I because of him. All he does is tell me to meditate and make me ‘reflect on my feelings’, or whatever that means. How good can a master be if he can’t teach me to protect myself and others?” 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan warns, kicking the padawan’s feet away from the caf table, “please tell me you didn’t say these exact insensitive words to your master right before slamming the door and coming here.” 

Of course he did, Obi-Wan thinks when Anakin starts a rant about being held back and how stupid meditation is. That night, Obi-Wan forces him to sincerely apologise to his master after a brief fight ("stop nagging at me, Obi-Wan! You’re not my master!” “Well, apparently, you don’t even respect your own master, so I’m very glad I’m not.”) and is just a bit stunned when he finds Qui-Gon Jinn on his doorstep a few days letter, asking him if he would agree to take Padawan Skywalker on his next off-world mission. 

Obi-Wan really, really wants to say no. He only taught Anakin a few Ataru moves that the lightsaber’s instructor normally doesn’t introduce until a few years later because Anakin wouldn’t accept a no from him, he never signed up to co-parent a defiant padawan! Especially Qui-Gon’s padawan. The entire conversation between them is already awkward enough.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“No?” Qui-Gon replies, sipping his tea like they’re discussing the weather. “You’ve done a good job at teaching him some rationality and a few duelling tricks until now. I haven’t been able to wield a lightsaber for a while now, but it’s hard to miss the handprint of my own master all over Anakin’s sudden blend of Ataru and Makashi in his movements.” Obi-Wan is pretty sure his ears and his face are burning by now. “Don’t you think he could benefit from some real experience? Maybe start to put things in perspective? Show him why the diplomatic skills and temperance we preach are so important even for the violent or difficult conflicts we’re asked to solve?” 

And really, what is he supposed to say to that? 

Qui-Gon leaves his quarters before he manages to gather the courage to ask why he chose him of all knights for this task. It really doesn’t make any sense to Obi-Wan.

The very next day, Anakin shows up at the hangar bay ready to see the stars, bag on his shoulder and enough excitement to make the whole ship vibrate under his feet. 

“If you cause problems on purpose, I’ll send you back to your master faster than you can say pod-racing.”

“I promise I won’t, Knight Kenobi,” Anakin replies, all angelic smile and respectful padawan face. It’s the first time Anakin has called him by his title, and somehow it sounds a bit wrong.

Anakin does end up causing problems on purpose. It’s ridiculous but also kind of genius, so Obi-Wan only shakes his head and says “you’re really going to be the death of me.”

And for some years, it works. Qui-Gon stays Anakin’s master, but he does send him to learn from other masters and knights. More and more, though, Anakin asks for Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon rarely refuses.

“You two are the last people I thought would get along,” Mace Windu tells them a few successful missions later, after witnessing them bantering back and forth from their respective beds in the Halls of Healing. “Nonetheless, I’m glad you do. It’s good to see close lineages strengthening their bond to each other.”

Anakin blinks so many time at the compliment that Obi-Wan doesn’t hesitate a second before throwing his pillow at his face the second Windu leaves the room.

It’s a shame that Obi-Wan never manages to ask Qui-Gon about why he trusted him with his padawan. 

Because Qui-Gon dies on Geonosis. 

He shouldn’t have been there, Obi-Wan and Anakin keep saying. But they both know that you can’t stop Qui-Gon Jinn to do what he wants. He shouldn’t have gone to Kamino by himself, he shouldn’t have followed the bounty hunter to Geonosis, He shouldn’t have been in this arena, he shouldn’t have been killed before the help has come. He shouldn’t have died right in front of his former master— because of his former master. 

Anakin’s master died that day, but when Obi-Wan saw Master Dooku ordering the attack on the Jedi, he felt like he was losing two masters at the same time. 

Now there is a war coming, and the Council is talking about Master Dooku being a Sith, and he should stop saying Master Dooku, he knows, and people are asking how good can a Jedi be when raised by a traitor, and Yoda is talking to him about knighting Anakin and what he thinks about it like he’s his master now, and Anakin refuses to talk to him, and that probably has to do with the fact that he lost an arm and a father-figure to Obi-Wan’s master, and Obi-Wan would like to sleep for an entire year now, thank you very much. 

[blu-joons]

DATING ATEEZ HEADCANON A⇴Z ⇴ Jeong Yunho

A ⇴ AFFECTION

The fact that he was so tall was definitely an advantage to Yunho, he loved to bundle you up and make you feel tiny in his hold. His arms were always strong around you, making sure that you always were secure by his side.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

Yunho ended up being a knight in shining armour for you when you first met. A guy was hitting on you, which you hated, something that Yunho could see across the bar. He ended up making his way over, pretending to be your boyfriend to get the creepy guy away from you, and the rest was very much history as they say.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

When Yunho first suggested that the two of you go back to the same bar for date night, you were bemused. You had mixed emotions about it, especially after what had happened before. However, as the two of you sat down with your drinks, Yunho told you about how he wanted to make happier memories there, and wanted to turn something that was once fake, into something real, confessing to you how he felt.

D ⇴ DATES

Most of the time the two of you would end up doing something active for your dates so that Yunho could show off to you how sporty he was. Nine times out of ten, you lost at whatever it was that you were doing but seeing the smile on Yunho’s face was always worth it for you. If you wanted to do something a little more relaxed, then he could definitely do that too, but he’d still find a way to make it a little bit active, either with a drinking game, or a race as to who could get back to the car the quickest.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

Being in a relationship was one of the few things that Yunho didn’t have the slightest clue about. He always imagined what it would be like, and how he saw himself as a boyfriend, but that didn’t fall into reality at all. To begin with, he felt as if he was way out of his depth dating you, however, over time he began to find the shallow side, able to place his feet firmly on the ground and relax a little more. It took time for him to learn, but you were nothing but patient with him and showing him the ropes too.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

There are times when Yunho just can’t help but get irritated, it’s usually little, meaningless things, but somehow a slight argument occurs between the two of you. Once he’s calmed down, he usually realises how stupid it is and is quick to apologise to you for letting something so small get so big. He looks out for you a lot, and so if someone else wants to start a fight with you, Yunho will be right in your corner cheering you on. He loves how you stand up for yourself, but if he too feels like that is also getting out of hand, he’ll remind you to take a step back, just like how he usually does when his irritations play up.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

Whenever Yunho ends up calling his family, they’re always asking for the chance to speak to you and see how you are. His family adore the two of you together, and it definitely doesn’t take long for you to integrate and be very welcomed by them all, joining Yunho’s side whenever he gives them all a ring.

H ⇴ HOME

The two of you are always very aware that Yunho rooms with San, and so you usually end up taking the sofa. However, you can only do that for so long, and so when things begin to feel as if they’re taking a more serious turn, Yunho would definitely be open to finding a place that you could call your own.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

He was the first one to say, ‘I love you,’ when he sent you a gift while he was on the road. He struggled a lot, and the feeling of missing you was enough for him to realise that it was love that he felt towards you, choosing to tell you with a huge bouquet of flowers that arrived at your door the very next day.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

At times Yunho is guilty of being quite judgemental of other people, which makes him incredibly jealous if he feels like someone is too close to you. He’s wary that he might lose out to someone else if they take too much of your attention, and so will often use his tall frame to assert his stature beside you and make sure that the other guy knows that you belong to Yunho. He hates to be possessive, but if he’s got a bad feeling about someone, then he’ll definitely step in before things go too far.

K ⇴ KIDS

Having a family always felt like a long way off for Yunho, for now he was more than happy focussing on his career. However, he found himself often daydreaming about his family too at times with you. He could always remember one evening at a restaurant, he stared at you for a long time, dreaming about how different things would be when you had a family together, until you pulled him back into reality.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Yunho was easily one of the energizers of the group, he always tried to look at things positively and do it with a smile on his face too. He loved to cheer everyone up, especially you, always making notes of the things that made you laugh the most so that he could do them again and again. You can often only sit back and admire how naturally funny he is and how he always manages to firmly put the smile on your face. There’s very little that can get Yunho down, but on the rare occasion that he is feeling low, you make sure to repay him for the many times that he’s ended up cheering you back up again and again.

M ⇴ MISSING

When he was on the road, Yunho tried to keep that positive attitude that he had at home with you too. He’d have a countdown on his phone which would be one of the first things he’d like at most mornings to remind himself that each day was another step closer towards being able to see you. There were definitely times when it would hurt, but more often than not, he’d find something to do to distract himself and try and keep smiling. For you, he was a huge motivation to get through the weeks apart, he’d always be optimistic on the phone with you, refusing to ever let you see him when his mood dropped.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

As soon as you heard about his nickname of ‘bear,’ you just knew it was one that you had to start using too. Yunho hated how you used it to begin with, but soon he got pretty used to being the bear that kept you safe.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Yunho is obsessed with your waist, he loves to have his arms around it or his hands resting against it whenever you’re close enough for him to reach out.

P ⇴ PDA

In public, he is always incredibly protective of you before anything else. He knows that your relationship captures the attention of others, and so he’ll always keep his arm around your waist to make sure you’re at a close distance to him. It’s the one time he’s serious, making sure that he doesn’t risk putting you in danger.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

On your dates, he loves to tease you and ask you if you’re ready to lose or pay for dinner if that’s the decision that you’ve made for the loser. He’s always confident, but then again, you don’t tend to beat him that often.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Yunho loves to introduce you as ‘wifey,’ to most people, as it always leaves them so confused. It’s a running joke between the two of you, his way of promising you that one day he definitely sees you as his wife, but for the poor person the joke is played on, they’re usually quick to apologise for missing such an important day in both of your lives, or for not congratulating you sooner, unaware of what’s really going on.

S ⇴ SEX

He always makes sure to take the best care of you when it comes to intimacy, despite his tall figure, Yunho turns incredibly soft. As with most things, you’re his priority and so he’ll always put your needs and aim to make you feel good before he’ll let you get anywhere close to pleasuring him. He’ll always make you feel safe, however if you want to try something a little different, Yunho won’t be one to say not to you.

T ⇴ TEXTS

Messaging you isn’t something that Yunho is a big fan of, he much prefers to call you and be able to hear your face. That’s the best way for him to get a true grasp of how you’re feeling too to see how you’re doing.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

In you, Yunho has the perfect adventure buddy, you’re up for anything, and make plenty of memories at his side. He loves that you’re open and will humour him in all of the random little things that he wants to do.

V ⇴ VACATION

You always remembered how Yunho told you about his fascination with LA, so when you heard that he had a week off next month, you were determined to find a way to get him out there. With the help of a few of the other members, you managed to organise the perfect surprise, and the trip of a lifetime too.

W ⇴ WHINING

Yunho is definitely considerate of the fact that sometimes you need time apart, and so won’t whine at all unless he’s really desperate for you.

X ⇴ XXXXX

His height is something he loves to use to his advantage whenever he’s kissing you. He’ll love to tease, stand a little taller, or swerve out of the way when you want to kiss him, but when he wants to kiss you, his arms are around you straight away so that you can’t run away, pressing his lips against any exposed skin of yours that he can get to, not letting go until one of you has something they need to do.

Y ⇴ YOU

You are his cheerleader; you are always there to support him in absolutely everything.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

At night, you can usually be found curled tightly into his side. It’s at this time that you appreciate his size the most and the huge amount of warmth it can generate to help you drift softly into a sweet dream, usually of him.

---

Masterlist

[morganaspendragonss]

dancing on the edge of something new

huge thanks to alice ( @reyeslonestar ) for letting me talk this through with her at midnight when it was causing me huge trouble 🥰

five dances in tk and carlos’s life

ao3 | 2.3k | @911fluffweek day 3: getting together // dancing

i.

TK looks over when Carlos slides off the hood of the Camaro, his hand trailing after him until he’s forced to let go. Carlos is smiling almost shyly, shifting from one foot to the other, and TK can’t help but smile back, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Carlos?” he prompts, confusion growing as no explanation is forthcoming. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I just, uh…” He bites his lip, then takes a decisive step forward and holds out a hand, cocking a brow suggestively. “Wanna dance?”

TK laughs. “Seriously?” he asks, but he’s already sitting up and placing his hand in Carlos’s, allowing him to pull him off the car and to his feet.

“Well”—Carlos shrugs, yanking TK close and smiling at the oof he makes when their chests collide—“it’s how we began, isn’t it? I figured, if we’re starting again, then it feels only right, no?”

TK stares, stuck dumb, unable to do anything but follow Carlos’s lead as his arms slip around his waist, guiding them into a gentle sway. He rests his own hands on Carlos’s chest, the realisation that he gets to do this now—gets to touch Carlos and be with him like this—hitting him all over again. To think he almost threw it all away… Well, none of that matters anymore. What matters is that they’re here, dancing in a field with no music save for the shuffle of their feet in the grass and the occasional bird or cricket, like a pair of lovesick idiots in a romcom.

And he’s never been happier.

He slides his hands up until his arms are resting loosely around Carlos’s shoulders, fingers playing with the stray curls at the nape of his neck. He stares into those familiar brown eyes, so full of warmth and light, Carlos cast in the beautiful glow of the Northern Lights above them, and TK feels an intense feeling take root in his chest. It’s not love—not yet—but it will be.

He can’t imagine not falling in love with Carlos Reyes.

ii.

The club lights strobe around them, bathing the room alternately in lurid colours and strange shadows. The place is packed, the doors practically straining on their hinges, but the only thing TK is aware of is Carlos’s body moving against his own, their movements perfectly in sync with each other.

It’s been a while since they were last about to do this, to come out and just let loose for the night. In fact, TK thinks the last time might have been when they were out with Paul what seems like a lifetime ago; so much has changed since, and TK feels like a completely different person to who he was back then.

He and Carlos have officially been together for a few months now, but it’s like the universe has been working to stop them from actually being able to enjoy it. They’ve managed to squeeze in some dates here and there, but between the shooting, the solar storm, TK’s medical leave, and weeks of opposing shifts, getting a moment to themselves has been difficult.

But now, finally, they have one. And TK is going to milk it for all it’s worth.

He turns slightly in Carlos’s grasp, his head tilting up to catch his lips in a searing kiss. Carlos grips TK’s hips tighter, pulling them flush against his own as he deepens the kiss, and TK gasps, a sharp thrill shooting down his spine.

The night stretches out blissfully in front of them, the knowledge that this isn’t just a fling that will end with the cold light of dawn making it all the sweeter. It’s still a little surreal, even now, but it also feels so damn right.

TK’s heart hammers in time with the music and he sinks into Carlos’s hold, losing himself in his heat.

iii.

It’s not that TK never felt at home at the condo. The opposite in fact; Carlos’s place had been home even before he could officially call it his, and he feels the loss of it keenly. The thing is, though, even after he’d fully moved in, it had been a struggle to think of it as theirs.

It had been home, sure, but it had also been Carlos’s place.

Carlos had found it a little funny, and it had taken several slip-ups on TK’s part and just as many gentle corrections on his for TK to get used to our dining room, and our bedroom, and our house.

And then—well. Just as he’d started to get used to it, it was all gone. Ashes. It hurt, deeply, but TK knew that it was his turn to be the one to lean on, to let Carlos be the one to set the pace. Carlos had lived there for years, after all, and what was TK’s month compared to that?

Really, anywhere that Carlos is would be home, but this—holding the keys to a house they’d picked out together, a house they’d signed the lease for together, a house they’d picked the furnishings for together—feels like coming home. 

He hates that it was the condo burning down that got them to this stage, but TK can’t stop a grin from emerging on his face as he slips his key into the lock.

He finds Carlos in the kitchen, humming and shimmying to a song playing from the speakers. To his credit, TK really does try to bite back his laughter, but he can’t quite manage it, letting out a loud snort which has Carlos stopping in his tracks, flushing a deep red.

“I see the unpacking’s going well,” he says, walking over to the kitchen counter and leaning a hip against it. 

“It was, actually,” Carlos defends, still blushing. “I didn’t realise you’d be back this soon.”

TK shakes his head; as adorable as Carlos’s embarrassment is, he needs to let him know he’s not making fun. “You can relax, babe. You know I always love seeing you move those hips.”

“Mmm, don’t I know it.” Carlos leans in and kisses him, lingering a moment before pulling back, a wide smirk on his face. “How about you help me finish unpacking here and we’ll see about showing you more of that hip action later?”

TK grumbles, but does as he’s told, the two of them falling into a comfortable rhythm as they work to getting their house in order. It’s ended up being the perfect blend of their different styles, which probably shouldn’t work together, but somehow do, and TK loves it here. They both do, he knows—nothing will ever replace what they lost in the fire, but being able to build a home together is beyond special.

He keeps sneaking glances at Carlos as the afternoon goes on—sue him, his boyfriend is built like a Greek god—and TK smiles when he realises Carlos has started dancing again. He probably doesn’t even realise he’s doing it, which makes the whole thing so much better.

TK watches for a while, then walks up to Carlos and taps him on the shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?” he asks, gesturing to the wooden spoons he was twirling around.

There’s a brief moment of confusion, before Carlos’s eyes light up with realisation. He barely wastes a second in tossing the spoons aside (though, it’s more like a careful placement in the correct drawer) and grabs TK by the hand, sending him into a literal spin.

TK laughs, taking a moment to right himself after the sudden movement caused him to stumble inelegantly. Neither of them are in time with the music as they dance around the kitchen, carefully avoiding the boxes still scattered around, but it’s not important. 

For the first time in his life, TK feels fully, completely at home. It’s not a feeling he wants to let go of.

iv.

“I think they were expecting something slower,” TK murmurs, burying a laugh in Carlos’s neck. Their guests are all wearing expressions with varying degrees of shock, and he can’t really blame them—he’s pretty sure the last thing anyone expects to hear during a first dance at a wedding is a country song. “I still can’t believe you even remember it.”

Carlos shrugs. “I still can’t believe you don’t. It is our song, after all.”

TK rolls his eyes, remembering their first conversation on this topic months ago, back when they were still sorting out all the wedding minutiae. 

“‘Our’ song, babe?” he’d said, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “Why, because we danced to it for five minutes before leaving to get off in the bathroom?”

“Exactly,” Carlos had replied, his tone so serious that TK wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not. He’d rolled his eyes and lightly shoved at TK’s shoulder. “No, babe. Because it was the first time we danced together on the night that we met. That’s special, right, even if it did only last five minutes?”

TK hadn’t exactly been able to argue that one, and he has to admit now that it was a pretty good choice. If only to see the way Judd almost choked on his champagne in surprise when the song started.

It’s a little untraditional and, if he’s being honest, TK had never thought that one day he would be getting married in Texas on his new husband’s family ranch, with their first dance being to a ‘cowboy song’, as he’d once called it, much to Carlos’s horror. But he and Carlos have never been ones for tradition, and TK wouldn’t have it any other way.

“It’s perfect,” he admits, his eyes never leaving Carlos’s. He stops the dance, not caring that the song is still playing, and steps closer, pressing their bodies together. Everything else fades into the background as he leans up and kisses Carlos, barely moving when they break apart. “I love you, Husband.”

Carlos’s face lights up in a grin that could rival the sun in its brightness. “I love you too, Husband.”

v.

Music is floating through the door when TK gets home, and it’s enough to alleviate the weight he’s been carrying all day. It’s not that it had been a bad shift per se (though, when your standards for a good day are ‘nobody dies’, your view tends to get a bit skewed) but it had been long and tiring, and he’d missed his family desperately.

Sometimes, he still can’t believe this is really his life. But Ana, now three, has been living with them for a year already, and TK can’t imagine their home without her anymore. She’d been a blessing, coming into their lives after years of fighting to get on adoption registers, right when they were beginning to despair of ever managing it.

They did, though, and now TK gets to come home to scenes like this. 

Scenes like Ana standing on Carlos’s toes as he guides her slowly around the room in a basic dance. TK watches for a moment before getting his phone out and hitting record; he’ll be damned if he misses the opportunity to get this on film.

Carlos, having heard him enter, rolls his eyes when he sees what TK’s doing, but flashes him a quick smile before returning his focus to Ana. She hasn’t noticed TK’s entrance, her face scrunched up in deep concentration as she grips onto Carlos’s hands as tight as she possibly can.

When the music ends, Ana claps her hands and giggles. TK takes the moment to make his presence known, dropping to his knees and holding his arms out. She barrels into him, almost knocking him over, and presses her face into his chest, her tiny hands creating creases in his uniform shirt.

“Hi, sweetheart,” TK murmurs, dropping a kiss in her hair. He gently detaches her from him and manoeuvers them until she’s sitting in his lap. “Looks like you guys were having fun while I was at work.”

She nods enthusiastically. “Papa was teaching me to dance! Abuela showed me photos when I was with her and Abuelo and I wanted to be just like her!”

“Abuela got out the photo albums again, huh?”

Ana nods again. “Of her… Her…” She frowns and looks up at Carlos.

“Her china poblana dresses,” Carlos says softly, smiling as Ana grins and points at him. 

TK laughs and draws his daughter into a hug, rocking them gently, his gaze going up to Carlos. “Well, from what I saw, you were dancing even better than Papa,” he says, smirking as Carlos gasps in mock offence. He looks back down at Ana, tapping on the back of her hand. “You know,” he starts, smiling, “I think I might need some dancing lessons too. Think you can teach me?”

Ana lights up and immediately gets to her feet, as if she’d been waiting for him to ask. She grabs TK’s hand and pulls him up, leading him to where Carlos must have cleared a space for them earlier. The music begins to play again and TK lets his daughter take charge, playfully sticking his tongue out at Carlos when he laughs at TK getting firmly told off for putting his foot in the wrong place.

At some point, Carlos joins the dance, the three of them stepping and bouncing around the front room. Ana’s laughter fills the house, shrieking with delight when Carlos sweeps her from the floor and wraps both her and TK in his arms. TK leans his head on his husband’s shoulder, a hand placed on their daughter’s back, and breathes out slowly, all the exhaustion from earlier forgotten. 

At last, he’s home.