#but that’s another post and I think I’m already pressing everyone’s buttons today

[boundinparchment]

breaking in for a second to say that a lot of the recent stuff going on for writers in particular boils down inherently to a lack of respect.

for one another.

for ourselves.

for our hobby.

from readers who passively just assume that a like is enough. that you don’t need to or want to engage meaningfully.

social media trained you all to be passive consumers and let a computer make decisions for you.

change that shit. reblog. comment. tell people you like their stuff. saying “I liked this” is better than a single fucking like on a post that is lost in the void.

and for those who write based on trends and find themselves constantly burning out: respect yourself and the characters you enjoy more. cherish them. stop chasing so much. this hobby isn’t about notes and being popular, it’s about the love (and sometimes the hate) for canon. not everyone is gonna be the next Cassy Claire or Ali Hazlewood or BNF, just be yourself and stop saying something flopped. maybe just make something you love and embrace happiness.

for those who get into the weird nonsense about ship politics and dark content and other shit: see above about changing behavior and stop engaging with shit you don’t want to see. change your filters. block tags. like you’re capable of using tools given to you instead of harassing people off the face of the internet and being a faceless bully.

[rottenblur]

Post workout pump|A.ANDERSON

Abby x fem reader 2.3k

Summary: Your gym rat Tinder date isn’t one to not kiss on the first date, a coffee date is much more interesting with her.

WARNINGS: public shit, public fingering??? Dirty talk, Abby being bold as hell, head!! Fingering, quick mention of that liquor. Fucking on the first date.

Abby’s Tinder profile was simple, a couple of gym rat pictures, and a couple cute candid ones someone had taken of her with a background of beautiful scenery. The one that made you swipe on her was a picture of her smiling in the forest, normally you wouldn’t go for “outdoorsy” people, you wanted someone you could comfortably rot away with.

It was her fucking smile. The way that her hair practically glowed in the sunlight peaking through the trees, how her freckles complimented every feature on her face. It wasn’t just her looks though, you weren’t that shallow. Her bio was simple, simple in a way it didn’t seem like she was faking it for people to like her.

“Will fight for you.” And you believed it with every inch of your body, she looked like fought off bears for a living. She could break you in half, part of you wanted her to.

Your conversation on the app was short, you gave her your number pretty fast, I mean she asked for it.

You got a text from a random number quickly after you gave it to her.

(7xx) 8xx-6xxx: Hey beautiful.

You replied quickly.

You: Hey.. this abby?

The typing bubbles popped up immediately, she responded fast and used punctuation, which was rare. In your experience, and probably rare to everyone on dating apps. To be honest, this was your first time on a dating app, you had too much on your plate to even think about dating since high school.

Abby: [IMAGE ATTACHED]

Abby: Sure is.

The picture was a live photo in a gym mirror, she had dumbbells resting by her feet, her body covered in a tank top and loose basketball shorts. Her muscles were huge, you didn’t think someone could be that strong, the sweat making them shiny didn’t help how hard you were staring right now.

You: oh my god…

That’s all you can get out, you have no thoughts.

You: i’m blushing

You throw your phone, you’ve only been talking to her for maybe an hour and yet she already has you wrapped around her finger.

The text bubbles pop up, she’s typing.

Abby: Aw, such a sweet girl, already blushing for me.

If you weren’t blushing before, you were now. You couldn’t stand another minute not being with her.

You: are you busy today? I need to see you

Text bubbles pop up, then disappear, come back then disappear again. Read, for ten minutes. Were you moving too fast? You put your phone down, tidying up your room to distract yourself from the stress. You get into the shower, your phone on the sink counter for music. You wash your hair when your phone starts ringing, fuck.

You grab the towel hanging up, drying off your hands and step out of the shower to pick up your phone, it’s her. You press the green accept button and put the phone up to your ear, pushing your wet hair out of the way.

“Hey.” She says. Her voice, oh my fuck, her voice. It was gentle but so heavy with intent, she sounded like she only spoke if she meant it.

“Hi.” You respond back, wrapping the towel around your body and stepping out of the bathroom to make sure she heard you well.

“God, you sound adorable. I’m not busy, just at the gym right now but I’m free in thirty minutes if you wanna go for coffee.” She says, you can hear the dumb bells banging in the back now.

Your mouth falls open, she really wants to see you? A date? Today? You forget to speak.

“Yeah, yeah please. Where to?” You respond back.

You hear her laugh slightly, then take a breath. “I’ll text you the address beautiful, you’ll like it I know you will.” God people making decisions for you was suddenly so hot.

You agree and giggle, uncontrollably. “Bye bye.”

“See ya.” She says then hangs up. Fuck you were nervous.

You get a text from her, the address was a small locally owned coffee shop just down the street from you, maybe she lived close. Surprisingly you had never been there before, maybe you could have met her sooner if you stepped out of your comfort zone more often, you would have met her sooner.

Twenty minutes had passed, you got back into the shower, finishing it and getting ready. Drying your hair and throwing on a cute fitting outfit, something easy, or just easy access, hey you weren’t against doing stuff on the first date, especially not with her.

You walk to the coffee shop, texting her when you arrive at the front doors, her assuring you she was already there. She was early, you liked that.

You walk inside and that's when you see her. She was in the back, in a booth manspreading under dimly lit lights. You walk over towards her, her hands set on the table, fiddling with a stir stick. She looks up and sees you, her blue eyes light up. She stands up, she towers over you. You look up at her, her freckles are even cuter in person.

“Hey beautiful, you look you know..beautiful.” She says looking you up and down. You smile at her muttering a greeting back. You were almost shaking, she was perfect, everything you could have ever wanted.

“You want a drink? I’ll order, just finished mine.” She says, placing a hand on your upper arm, it engulfed your arm in full. You nod and tell her your order. She smiles at you and walks off to order, you sit down scooting to the inside. A one-sided booth, leaving no choice but to sit right next to her, her boldness was attractive.

She comes back, placing your drink on the table in front of you, scooting herself right next to you placing hers next to yours. You pick up your drink taking a sip, as she lays her arm on the booth behind your back spreading her legs, getting comfortable. “Was that picture from today?” You refer to the picture she sent you earlier. She nods turning her head to look at you.

Her strawberry blond hair slightly damp presumably from a shower, her blue t-shirt clung to her arms, her jeans tight to her legs. God.

“You like what you see?” She says tilting her head at you, looking you up and down in return. You nod shyly looking away as you fiddle with the end of your skirt. She catches that, flicking your hands away, replacing them with hers. “You wear this for me? I like it, looks really good on you sweetheart.”

God the pet name, her hands on you, on your clothes. Her compliments, she has you melting. “I wore it for you Abby.” You say looking at her, she looks up from your legs to your eyes. She smiles, rubbing your cheeks, keeping one hand on your thigh. “God you’re adorable, I got you blushing already.” She takes her hand off your cheek and takes a sip of her drink.

“What made you want to talk to me?” She says as she rubs her thumb on your engulfed thigh. You’re fighting to not squeeze your thighs together. You look at her lips, and her eyes then respond. “You’re pretty, I mean you’re hot, you’re intimidating it’s attractive.” You say. She nods, humming a response to you.

“Well, I thought about how fucking cute you’d look with my head between your thighs.” She said it so innocently, her hand moving up under your skirt, you couldn’t handle it your trap her hand by squeezing your thighs together.

She clicks her tongue at you tapping your thigh with her free thumb for you to open your legs. You submit to her order, opening your legs for her. Her finger grazes your clothed clit, your panties wet from her teasing. You look at her and finally respond. “I’d like that, alot.” Your cheeks were burning up, your whole body was burning up with need.

She leans in closer to you, whispering into your ear. “You’re so perfect, so fucking ready for me, so beautiful.” A whine falls out of your mouth, uncontrollably. Her fingers continue dancing from your clit to your slit, teasing you no, torturing you.

You place one elbow on the table, the other gripping Abby’s thigh, you were dripping onto your skirt it was unbearable. You finally mutter out exactly what you need to say.

“I need you Abby, I need you.” You say. She pulls her hand away, awwing in response, turning your head towards hers with a grip on your chin. She smiles and shakes her head. “Ask nicely beautiful.” You lick your lips and nod. “I need you please, please Abby.

She lets go of your face, standing up and holding out a hand for you, you take it letting her pull you up out of the booth. Your legs were weak, even trembling, she noticed this and smirked at you.

She drove the two of you to her apartment, so fucking close to yours, her hand on your thigh the whole way there, her glances never made you blush any less each time. She parks her car and guides you up to her apartment with your hand clutched all the way there.

She unlocks her door, leading you in first, she walks in behind you, and kicks off her shoes. She grabs you, pushing you against the door connecting your lips with hers, locking the door with one hand, the other wrapped around your waist.

She pulls away, looking at you with those lustful blue eyes, they looked much brighter when you first met her but now there's nothing darker. She locks lips with you picking you up and carrying you towards her bedroom, her hands full of ass.

She’s mirroring your whimpers into the kiss with grunts, your arms wrapped around her neck. As she enters the bedroom with your legs wrapped around her, you fiddle with her braid, undoing it and running your fingers through the loose strands.

She throws you down onto the bed, the plush duvet sinking behind your back. Your quick breaths are loud in the quiet room, Abby stares are you eating you up with her eyes. “What do you want beautiful?” she says to you, stripping her jeans off revealing her grey boxer briefs, a wet spot that catches your eye. Apparently, you're not the only one worked up.

When you don't respond she hums a “hmm?” to you pulling you from your thoughts. “I want you, I want to feel you everywhere Abby.” A quiet grunt comes from the back of her throat. She leans to you, putting her knees on the bed and caging you in with her arms. She kisses you, her tongue tangled with yours. She pulls away to strip her shirt from her body, tossing it aside.

You admire her body, stripped from her tight t-shirt her muscles look even bigger. She places your hands on her shoulders pulling your shirt off. She leans down to unhook your bra and kisses you.

She scans your body, her eyes make you want her even more. She kisses your lips, pushing her knee in between your thighs applying the perfect amount of friction as she moves to make out with you.

She kisses down your bare chest sucking purple spots all the way down your stomach, your neck to your hips littered in hickeys. “So fucking good for me.” She mutters out as she flips the hem of your skirt up onto your stomach. She kisses the inside of your thighs, whines and whimpers falling out of your mouth with need.

She leaves marks leading up to your panties, now even wetter with want. She pushes them to the side, taking a quick lick and sucking on your clit then looking up at you. Her eyes, her face from the angle could make you cum right there and then.

“You taste so fucking good beautiful.” You were melting. She attaches her mouth back to your clit spiralling circles with her tongue, holding your hips down with one hand.

She rubs your hip as you fight to ride her face, take control. She sucks your clit and pushes two fingers inside, filling you so well. Her fingers found places inside you, you never knew existed.

Her tongue quickens it's pace as so does her fingers pumping in and out of you. Moans fall from the back of your throat, you can hear Abby’s grunts vibrating against your clit.

She disconnects her mouth, pumping and curling her fingers to the perfect spot at a brutal pace, she looks up at you, arched back gripping the blanket. “Such a good fucking girl.” Her praises push you over the edge. She connects her lips back pulling you quickly to your climax. You look down to her, as your thoughts dissapear.

You pulse all over her fingers, and she pulls them out, kissing your thigh. She looks back at you, as she sucks you off her fingers. “So good sweetheart, so goddamn good.” She crawls her back up to your lips kissing you gently.

She whispers into your ear. “You make such pretty noises for a slut.” That shocked you, after all those praises, she degraded you. It had you ready for round two all in eight words.

She lays next to you, looking you up and down. “Want a drink?” She asks.

You nod, she gets up tossing you her t-shirt and a fresh pair of underwear from her drawer, a pair of black boxers. They were loose resting on your hips as the shirt went to mid thighs.

She walks out of the room, and you follow her sitting on the couch as she pulls a bottle of dark liquor from her bar cart. You lay down, she sits down placing your legs on top of hers passing you the drink. She tucks her hair behind her ear and looks at you, placing her hand on your thigh.

“Wanna stay the night?”

A/N: AHHHH I wrote this really fast if there are any spelling mistakes/ grammar mistakes LOOK AWAY. I love Abby thank you.

[killercooksblog]

KillerCook Baking Challenge

Howdy - In celebration of starting this blog, I present a challenge! If you've read the book, you'll know the first chapter was about BROWNIES! AKA the best dessert ever, probably. I'll post it below so if you have no idea what I'm talking about you can catch up and participate!

I love a good brownie, and I think everyone has their own unique way of baking goods that makes the recipe special in its own way! Yes, even box mix, cause I know not everyone is following those instructions all the time. If you're a raw batter eater, you're amongst safe company!

The challenge: I want you to make a pan of brownies with you're own secret ingredient that makes it *chef's kiss.* To participate, you gotta submit a pic of your brownie platter to my submissions or ask box by 3:00 PM EST Saturday, June 8th. Additionally, you need to submit a summary of the flavor and texture of your recipe, without saying the name of your secret ingredient.

For example: in my double mint chocolate brownies chapter, I would summarize it as - a dulcet double layer of cacao richness that's not too cakey and not too moist, that will leave you with a fresh and happy ending.

Or something like that. Get creative! I wanna rate your brownies! I'll be playing along too and for the sake of it, I won't be doing mint chips so I can leave y'all guessing too ;)

With the camera set in place, Killer dusted his apron and straightened his helmet one last time before pressing the ‘Go Live’ button, muttering a quick, "It's show time," under his breath.

“Hello, Killer here,” raising a hand in the air, the quarter sleeve of his dress shirt rolled neatly on his forearm. “Time for another day of relaxing vibes and delicious desserts. Today, I’m making Double Chocolate Mint Brownies. I love a goody, gooey brownie, especially when there’s mini chocolate chips and ganache involved.”

As he spoke the well-rehearsed introduction, Killer wandered around the kitchen pulling out mixing tools and fixing himself a glass of bubble milk tea, congregating on the island countertop. Oven already preheated, eggs and butter on standby and at room temperature. Slurping up a tapioca ball, he paused for a minute while he chewed.

“Mm, ‘scuse me, didn’t expect that one to come up all the way. Tasty. Moving on, you know my number one motto: A clean and sterile working environment is best when dealing with things you intend to eat. And please, enough with the Jason Vorhees jokes, my mask looks nothing like his. I’m trying to make a name for myself as an independent serial killer……of hunger and all your hearts,” he brought his hands together to make a heart shape for the audience.

The ping of a microtransaction being made caught Killer’s attention, leaning close to his phone. Someone had bought and redeemed a highlighted message, and it was one of those moments he wished he hadn’t added that incentive, now being forced to read and answer it live.

“MurderinoSquadAssemble has this to say – ‘a serial killer of hunger and OUR hearts? Seems sus but ok. #redflagbehavior.’ Calm down armchair detective. For the record, I haven’t been caught yet and it won’t be to the likes of you.”

Biting down a chuckle, Killer stepped back to put on plastic gloves, a baking hat, and his favorite apron. It was a faded blue color but what really made it endearing for him, was the print.

That’s Hot

It had a small whisk and measuring spoons sprawled on the bottom, and the capital T had a baker’s hat falling off it. Underneath the text, a stovetop on fire. A gift from Kid on his 25th birthday.

Smiling privately, Killer turned to give the audience his side profile as he tied the apron strings. His dress shirt clung to his muscled arms, threatening to burst if he flexed too hard. His ass looked firm and thick in the dark chino relaxed pants he wore.

Prepping the baking tray, Killer explained the ingredients he was using and his choices for alternatives. He preferred to use ethically sourced chocolate and tapioca flour instead of all-purpose flour. He used vegan butter but liked to brown it first to caramelize a bit before combining it to the batter.

“This flour is what I used to make the tapioca pearls for my milk tea in my 14th video. It’s still up if you want to check it out and give it some love,” he poured the batter into the pans.

Turning around completely, he walked to the oven to place the pan on the middle rack. Killer didn’t need to bend down as much as he did to place the pan inside. He also didn’t need to jut his hips backwards a little to make his butt look bigger on camera, but it was nice hearing the pings echoing in the kitchen as he was gifted with tips and praise. Not that he’d admit that to anyone of course.

Killer turned the volume of his Bluetooth speaker louder, enjoying the lofi channel playlist he chose for the day’s stream. It was hard to find good music these days, not with a DMCA lawsuit one flagged video away.

“You can find where I use the same ingredients for the pre-made mint filling layer in my 20th video, when I made my homemade No-reos.”

Underneath the kitchen island countertop was a small red button that Killer pushed. That was the alarm indicator Kid had installed to notify the redhead that it was time for him stop what he was doing, get dressed, and join the video for the taste test.

Hoping beyond hope that Kid would be wearing the clothes Killer laid out for him, the masked man entertained the audience. Acknowledging the redeemed gifts, answering comments and questions and taking a much needed bathroom break. Letting the ads run a bit longer to milk the revenue, Killer stood at the doorway waiting for Kid to make an appearance. Asshole was running late, unbelievable. HE WANTED to be in the live streams, Killer didn’t ask him to be a part of it.

Shaking his head, he sat down in front of the camera, preparing to be KillerCook once more. The oven had three minutes left on the timer and the smell of chocolate wafted. The stream continuing, he began whisking the ganache to pour over the brownies.

Killer heard Kid walking through the hallway as he whisked. Bursting through the door, shirtless, his golden piercings that littered his nipples, nose bridge and ears shined from the open kitchen windows that showed a beautiful sunny day outside.

Timer going off, Killer fumbled to the back while hissing out, “Put a fucking shirt on! Why do you do this every time?!”

“C’mon Kill, they’re not gonna ban you for male nipples, be real.”

“Not risking it, we’re already on thin ice for using copyright music after 2 warnings. Remember? That’s how you lost Your Job as the video editor. Put on a shirt or I pull the plug.”

Angrily swearing, Kid walked back through the door to find a shirt.

“The last step is pouring the ganache over the mint layer and spreading it evenly for a smooth coating. Then you’ll want to store it in the fridge to let the top layer set. This will take up to an hour or you can keep it in longer until you’re ready to eat.”

Cutting into the pan to prepare a square for Kid, the masked baker placed both the pan and the taste test piece in the fridge. Killer once again entertained the audience for the 5 minutes it took for Kid to come back, in a ruffled black vest that was unbuttoned. Killer pulled out a chair for him and went to retrieve the taste test square, placing it on the table in front of Kid.

Coming into view of the camera with an annoyed pout on his face, Kid shot a sneer at Killer before tightening his jaw and looking directly into the lens.

“Alright, now the reason you’re all really here. To watch me eat shit you can’t have and look hot doing it.”

Standing straight, he stuck out his right arm and flexed, slowly moving it down with deliberate motions that further focused on his bulging muscles instead of the baked good. Bringing it to his face, Kid licked his maroon painted lips before taking a bite with a grin. Letting out an approving grunt.

“How’s it taste?”

“Tastes damn good, brother,” Kid responded, biting into the brownie again.

“Can you uh elaborate some more for the audience?”

“It’s chocolate, tastes like chocolate,” he grunted out in between bites.

Sighing deeply, “Does the texture feel balanced? Is it too dry? Can you even taste the mint I added with the chocolate chips?”

Licking his fingers clean and wiping his mouth with the back of hand, Kid shrugged. “Tastes perfect. Like any good brownie should be, it’s moist,” devilish smirk on his face and he faced the camera.

Feeling Killer’s serious as fuck glare through the mask, “Yeah yeah you can taste the mint. It doesn’t overwhelm the chocolate but it wasn’t overstated either. Like a little nudge wanting acknowledgment.”

“And there you have it, moist and acknowledged. Tune in next time when I make one of my favorite dishes, Spaghetti aglio e olio. It’s simple to prepare and like everything else I make, slays. This has been Faffaffaffa-Food with Killer.”

End Livestream.

Killer lifted his baker’s hat, helmet and took his hairnet off, pulling his hair from the tight wound rubber elastic he’d put it in.

“One of these days you’re going to get me banned, dickwad. Think about that the next time you want to fuck around. All those comments of praise and validation gone just like that,” he snapped his fingers, “Because you can’t stop being a dumb whore for 5 minutes.”

“I’m a whore?! Oh stuff a brownie in yer mouth and calm down. You’re not you when you’re hangry,” Kid snickered, ducking out of the kitchen to avoid the stainless-steel bowls flung at him.

Bonus: The comment section

ICantEven101: Killer-san, why won’t my sauce stick to my noodles? KillerCook: You may be using too much oil or butter. A good trick is to add in pasta water to thicken the sauce. Corn starch is a good binder as well.

VanillyExtract: PunkNeverDied69 can I take you on a date? 🥺 PunkNeverDied69: You can’t afford my tastes.

GimmeDa’Za: Day 15 of asking for a Heat cameo and dutch oven pizzas. FlamingHot420: Why are you people obsessed with me? I walked into the kitchen ONE TIME.

[i-am-baechu]

♬ Summary: Jungkook finally posting the note revealing his relationship with Y/N and being scared doesn’t describe how he or she feels 

♬ Pairing: Established relationship; Jungkook x reader 

♬ Rating: PG - 18

♬Genre: Established relationship, angst, little smut, and fluff

♬ Warnings: Swearing, coming out about their relationship, insecurities, and Jungook being the best 

♬ Part of, ‘ I fell In Love With A Girl Group Stan; The After Story

Authors note: the final drabble for the after story!! 💛💛💛

The couple sat in their living room with nervous looks. Today was the day that they announced their relationship well, Jungkook tells the world he has a girlfriend. Last night they spent hours on the note app together trying to figure out the words. The first note was too formal and didn’t sound like him and then the second one just said “I have a girlfriend, bye.” He really didn’t know how to do this nor did Y/N. After talking to each other they figured out how to do it and wrote the perfect note. 

Jungkook glanced at Y/N who was biting her lip, “Y/N, it will be okay.” 

She sighed and looked down at her fingers, “I-I’m scared...I’m not as beautiful as kpop idols and if people found out who I am, their going to say you deserve-” 

“Y/N, I don’t give a fuck what others say. You're going to be my wife someday, no one else can fill your spot.”

She looked up with wide eyes and gave him a small smile, “And you're going to be my husband. People can be mean...”

“Baby...” Jungkook stood up and sat next to her. He wrapped his arm over her shoulders and brought her into him. He kissed the top of her and then her cheek, “No matter what happens, I’ll always be with you. I don’t care what others say, I’m yours.” 

She kissed his shoulder and nodded her head, “Okay.” 

He took his phone out and glanced at Y/N, “You ready for this?” 

“I should be asking you that, baby. Everyone is going to pry in on you and it's going to be a hot topic in interviews.”

“Bighit is letting us write this on our own and they said they’ll take care of the rest. I’m sure everything is going to be fine. I don’t really talk about my life that much...it’s going to be okay.” 

She glanced down at his phone and then leaned forward placing a kiss on his cheek, “Whenever you're ready, baby...”

He took a deep breath and nodded his head. He signed into the group's Twitter with his hands shaking, “Fuck I’m so nervous.” 

“It’s going to be okay.” 

He nodded his head and kissed her forehead, “I love you.”

“I love you more.” 

He stared at the post button and took another deep breath. He then pressed it and tossed his phone on the couch like it was on fire. 

“Jungkook! Did you just throw your phone away!” 

“Yes, shit do you think I broke it?” 

She let out a small laugh and grabbed his phone and her eyes widened, “It already has 900k retweets...” 

His mouth dropped at this and stared at Y/N with wide eyes, “Damn...Is that a good thing?”

“Baby I-I don’t know.” 

He gently took the phone out of her hand and stared at the tweet with a small smile on his face, “At least they know I’m yours.” 

“Well, they don’t know it's me.” 

“Don’t ruin the moment.” 

He tossed his phone again and wrapped his arms around her waist making her sit on his lap. He smirked up at her and leaned down placing a kiss on her lips. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck as they deepened the kiss. His hands slowly moved down to her ass and he separated the cheeks and she moaned at the feeling. He let out a low chuckle and started moving her on top of him slowly, “Jung-Jungkook.” 

“Yes?”

“Not in the living room...Bam is sleeping.”

He rolled his eyes and glanced at his dog with an annoyed look, “Always cock blocking me.” 

“I-I told you no sex in the living room.” 

“Oh? What about the kitchen?”

“T-Take me to the bedroom.” 

He let out a laugh and picked her up bridal style, leaving his phone on the couch. As they made their way down the hall he brought her into another kiss and turned her head to deepen it. He kicked the door and she broke the kiss to send him a small glare, “What did I say about doing that?” 

“Don’t kick the door 'cause you might break it. Baby, I just wanted to-”

“No, don’t kick the door.”

He rolled his eyes and gently closed the door with his foot, making her smile. He tossed her on the bed and she let out a small laugh making Jungkook pout, “You're not supposed to laugh. This is supposed to be sexy.” 

“I’m sorry, I just like it when you toss me.” 

“I’ll remember that.” 

He quickly took off his shirt and she stared at him with a heated look. He looked at her with a small smirk, “You like what you see?”

“You already know that answer...”

He glanced down at her to take in how beautiful she was. She had one of his shirts on with just simple leggings and her hair was in a messy bun. She was truly the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. He loved her like the first flower that blooms in spring and how the stars brighten up the sky with the moon. They belonged together and nothing was going to change that. 

She tilted her head at him. “Are you okay, Kook?”

“Better than okay, I’m perfect.” 

She smiled at him and nodded her head gently, “This is perfect...I love you so much, Kook.”

“I love you so much Y/N...Now, is it okay if I rip your leggings?”

“JUNGKOOK!”

[stainedglassandpigs]

(Recently graduated high school so I’m posting this cause I don’t wanna keep any of my highschool works)

Around 7k

Thinking of lex and Clark relationship I wanted to write the story to that point but I prolly won’t. I was a smallville fan growing up so this loss of a close friend was something I became more interested in recently. I wanted to kinda explore how y/n and Clark’s friendship with their close friend would mirror that. kinda ig bring them closer together. And also touch on the fact that even when you lose a friend in a not so nice way your heart still loves them in some shape or another. although I don’t have the same homoerotic element to my friendship fall out I can see how Clark and lex would, and maybe that would also further explain why Lex goes on to “have” a bby with Clark. The idea will prolly never fully be fleshed out tho

Also would love to hear ppls thoughts I know it’s not very good but I had fun working out how to express Clark’s personality

.

.

.

.

The heavy metal of your car door had just closed when the speakers began going off alerting you to a phone call.

Barely out of school for two minutes and there was already something ready to ruin your mood further.

Quickly you slide the seat belt over your body, clicking the buckle into place, then pressed answer on the small buttons of the radio.

Thankfully the person on the other end hadn't realized the call had been picked up so it gave you a moment to fill and empty your lungs of air.

Today had been long

It was not necessarily the work causing the weight on your shoulders. For once you wished it was because of the assignments, school work was indeed exhausting, that was something you’ve felt before.

Something you could deal with.

But no, it was senior year and Christmas break was just around the corner teachers barely gave yall work in the first place there was only so much that was needed to be taught to people who had been through the same pony race for three years now especially because it was now a few days before a break meaning the workload was nonexistent.

No, what made the day difficult and what was causing your eyes to well up and throat dry was a world shattering realization.

She's avoiding me.

One of your best friends had not been at lunch the past few days.

At the surface of your mind you just chalked it up to her being busy, she was taking health based classes and even their seniors didn't get out of the constant assignments.

And yeah she hadn’t been answering your text but she got really sleepy after school she must have not seen them,

Just yesterday when you got home and into your bed you fell asleep for the whole afternoon.

No matter what your thoughts held beneath the surface you tried to keep the negative ideations at bay,

She was one of your best friends that meant something,

Out of all the people in the world, she deserves the benefit of doubt most.

You could get over It having been a whole week since you had really seen her because there was of course a reason to justify this… she just didn’t have time to tell you is all. At least that's what you told yourself all day.

And yeah it was a bit ear reddening that you had to tell people they couldn't sit at your clearly empty table.

You'd say with as much certainty as a person who could see the future “she’ll be here soon” only to proceed to have lunch all by yourself.

But she was one of your best friends you adored her, you just weren't seeing the whole picture.

That was the only thought that kept you from losing your mind all week.

Everyone was giggling talking about Christmas plans during lunch passing gifts between each,

these little gifts to each other to physically show their emotions, their care, their love for one another. Taking this time during lunch just in case they didn't catch each other before break because it meant something to see each other.

They had to, because friends made time for each other.

And yet here you were watching derry girls with headphones in for the second time while picking at a launch you shitly made in the morning, uncaring of what you ate but knowing you had to keep yourself alive with food.

Because of your particular school lunch schedule, lunch was split it into two days, you didn't todays lunch with any of your other friends,

which was salt on the wound. Of course you knew you had friends, shit some would come by this lunch period when they could but that didn’t stop your eyes from stinging by the third day when you saw a girl walking by with her same lunch box.

The icing on the cake truly was when you had left your lunch table early that day,

fed up with looking like a kicked cat and decided to walk around the halls.

The school was large so wandering around the building before your last period started sounded like a better idea than taking up space in the lunchroom.

At least other best friends could make use of something that was once y'all's.

Eating as you walked, having no real direction you let your legs carry you wherever, staring at everything on the walls and into the classrooms like it was a museum while you aimlessly drifted.

After a few songs played through your headphones, you decided to stop at the trophy wall for a movement wanting to look at all the awards.

You knew that you had earned an award behind the glass, like you were just as great as all those other students.

You proved yourself,

there was proof you were not something to be ignored.

Yet as you took in the sight of the medal sitting under gold light presented as something glorious all you could feel was… silly.

The person who won that award had her by their side,

had her there keeping them company as they painted.

While looking at the wall you saw so many faces you had grown to call close friends,

it made you feel stupid.

Here laid physical reminders that you had people in your life outside of her and still you were moping about a problem that probably doesn't even exist.

She was just busy, maybe your mom was right and you should download a period tracker app.

That was it you rationalized,

you were close to your period and the smallest difference in routine was just making you emotional.

She was busy and you are being dramatic.

Taking another bite of your food you shift over to see more of the trophy case.

Your eyes landed on a face that erupted another wave of irrational emotions that you wished would just fuck off.

He looked as he always did,

radiant.

He was in his football uniform the team was taking a group picture because they had won the homecoming game,

the farm boy was the one to get the ball most ways down the field then passing it off to Whitney leading to the final goal.

Sometimes,

most times,

you forget how good of a player Clark was.

To you he was just your friend who you met in art class and accidentally discovered something one night by chance that forced you to skip a million steps on the getting to know someone mountain causing you to be closer than you ever could have imagined at the beginning of the year.

You were very aware that to everyone else he was the rising star of the football team this year,

whenever Clark would walk with you somewhere there would be a million interruptions to yall’s conversation by any and everyone.

Looking over another picture with him in it there were many details you noticed about his picture,

you always noticed too many things about him,

things you tried to ignore every time he was in the same room as you.

It did not matter that his smile quirked showing his canines in a way that did not drive you mad or that his eyes were so patient and full, because none of it mattered or was relevant enough to think about at all…

No, anyone else in a room with him would care, not you.

Clark Kent was just your friend.

And of course there was the subject of beautiful beautiful Lana.

Whether he would admit that they were a thing, he and Lana looked like celestial flowers that blossomed in the light of each other's presence.

In the part of your mind you kept locked up in a shabby shed with a broken light was a fun little game you called unceremoniously “stuff it all in the shed and ignore it”.

Many of those thoughts had to do with Clark in one way or another.

But the one that you kept deep inside of the shed, the one forcing its way out as you look upon a photo of the cheerleaders and football players together and seeing them paired up like two halves of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. Was how much you want it to be you.

Love came to you easily, your family was big.

Being loved and loving was not new to you, it was practically second nature.

What wasn't was romantic love.

It was something you never could fully wrap your brain around.

You yearned, crushed, and went crazy like everyone else.

But true romantic love scared the living shit out of you.

Your whole life that love only brought you pain, your parents divorce was nasty.

You chose a long time ago that there was nothing that romantic love could offer you that was worth going through what they did.

If you never let love turn you fool you would never repeat the horrific mistakes your parents made the day they met.

They were gilded lilys. Clark and Lana, Lana and Clark.

Their perfection together drove you crazy,

not most days though there was some semblance of sanity kicking around your brain.

These two people who could love each other without fear, you wanted to see their relationship up in flames.

They weren't even together and you wanted to take whatever they had and stomp it into the ground.

You loved Clark, and Lana, they were amazing people,

lilies in their beautiful green house basking in the sun while you were outside hoping to just catch a glimpse of their beauty, maybe even send a hurricane to ruin it.

And you knew jealousy was a normal emotion, envy, hate all of it.

Emotions are fickle and you had to be up at 7 in the morning everyday and deal with high school math.

Being a little bitchy in your mind was not the end of the world.

Or at least that’s what you told yourself, bc at the end of the day all it felt like, and was, was just you, jealous and bitter.

The thought occurred to you for the second time in the last 20 minutes about getting a period tracker when your mood changed instantly the moment your friend's face came around the corner walking, beaming a bright smile at you in the hall.

Or maybe you just should not be left with your thoughts when the only thing keeping your body going was 3 hours of sleep and a crappy ham and cheese sandwich.

Abandoning your headphones to better hear your friend you two naturally begin walking together, it was nice being with another.

It was a reprieve talking with her about weekend plans, assignments, and the random happenings of the school.

The subject of The Torch got brought up, its recent issues covering the particle accelerator in Central City last month you two also talked about going to the movies this weekend Beetlejuice was back in theaters for a special screening.

And maybe what happened next was a gift,

someone above putting you out of your misery leading you two down that hall when you did.

The timing when that door opened perfectly as you walked by to show you something that broke your heart harder than any high school fail crush ever could.

It was her,

sitting beautifully silhouetted by the light coming from an overhead window laughing like a princess out of a movie.

She was happy

Without me

Away from me

Oblivious to me

Feeling your heart shatter into a million pieces in a hallway that students casually glide by unaware was humiliating in a way that bore into your soul.

And you hadn’t told anyone what you were suspecting in fear that saying it aloud would make it true.

Now as you move your legs manually making sure to breathe in and out while your friend carries the conversation none the wiser it all felt so inevitable in an evil and sick way.

It was always hard for you to understand why people fell apart over romantic love.

Couldn’t they see it was always going to end badly?

It was just plain stupid replaceable love.

There were a million people in this world, it wasn't a perhaps that you would get over the heartbreak it was a certainty, so why let it hurt you so much ?

Granted growing up your examples were lackluster and didn’t get better when ppl your age started dating.

It was a perplexing thing, not understanding they’re love.

Until now,

You didn't want someone else to fill her spot, because in the moment you knew it was over.

She never would need to say it, but it was over.

It was over and you wanted to carve out the part of your heart that grew for her and send it to her in a box.

Because no matter the reasons you would surely find out later down the line for her leaving you, you knew in that moment when you glanced in that room and saw her that she would always own landscape in your heart.

It was hers and hers alone.

The world may not have burst apart from its core but a part of your soul did.

Like the foundation your remember building perfectly seemingly became bone and dirt under you.

Yet the bell still came and class still started.

Crying seemed in order though your movements followed that of a student having a boring day going through the motions.

The ringing in your ears served as your music as you worked and the numbness in your fingers added blur to the seconds and minutes before the final bell of your school day.

Hollowness

The bell

Walking

The car

Phone ring.

Now you sit waiting for the person on the other end to say something,

you didn’t even care to speak first or at all.

Silence was never something you found to be comforting, and this was true now the discomfort of being in your still car waiting for your caller to speak was as it always was,

nauseating.

Yet it was something other than that empty feeling that had clung to you since you saw her in that seat, worlds away from the ones you once sat together.

That queasy feeling of still air and silence brought was something you could face,

something you could live in and grasp, not the other thing.

The other thing took your senses and heart and squeezed it till calling it a heart would be a betrayal of the english language,

because all it was was unprecedented sadness in the heart of a naive youth.

Eros was a funny person you mused while staring off unfocused into the distance.

You thought you could shield your heart from his cruel game, and yet he still found a way and won.

A sick bastard you had to respect, you were a fool to think you could escape love's devastations.

“Yn ?-“

your name is called, pulling you out of your mind followed by a corus of deep coughs filling the speakers in the car.

It was Clark’s voice,

the daze your mind had been in the past hour lifted and you realized Clark had not been at school all day or in your last period art class.

Your favorite class and you didn't even know your friend wasn’t there.

That realization only served to make you deeply sad again.

Wiping at your eyes you answer,

“Clark, you sound awful, are you sick dude. I thought you were, you know like… immune to human sickness?” You say the words while rubbing at your eye trying to physically will yourself to the now and not her.

“Member’how I told you bout those green rocks?”

You could hear his little sniffle over the phone, unfortunately even now you found it cute.

The heart was funny that way, always ready for another round of insanity.

Putting the key in the ignition and starting it you reply to him

“ Yeah that stuff that was left behind from your ship's impact right. Been messing with everything in town since, Chloe is always on about it, she even managed to convince the principal to let her write bout it in the torch— Wait Clark don't tell me you went looking for that shit”

Pulling the car out of park you hold your foot over the brakes.

Lately Clark had been wanting to know more about where he came from, which was well within reason, what wasn't was getting himself hurt for information that had clearly been hidden.

You didn't think he was stupid enough to go hunting for something that was one of the few things to be able to actually hurt his body, you were beginning to think Lex was involved somehow.

Those two idoits were always galavanting around doing something that would warrant yelling at by you.

You hear him groan for a moment before answering “No-”

the gross sound of a nose being blown is heard through the speaker

“One of the boys on the team was sick last practice and he got everyone on the team sick. But I think he was exposed to the meteor so when it got me it was able to actually get me sick. I felt nauseous yesterday and dad took me home. I know you just got out of school and I'm sorry I have to ask but you're the only person I can ask or even trust enough to help mom and dad had to leave town today for that meeting in metropolis about getting a new cow.” you could hear him shifting around restlessly

Your lip twitches slightly, you were fighting the smug feeling hearing Clark say you were the only one he could rely on, only one he could trust right now.

Not Pete, not Chole, not lana, you

“Aw you poor baby, do you want me to come and make you stew and nurse you back to health like a sick baby”

you said it inna sort of mocking voice you couldn't help it he sounded so sick and whiny it was so far off from what Clark was usually like it was even a tab funny it brought out the inner sibling in you.

There was a beat of silence and immediately you thought that you may have actually hurt the personified sunbeams feelings causing you to feel like an asshole,

maybe now was not the time to do the usually sarcastic back and forth.

“(nickname for yn) will you please make me soup”

He said it with so much sincerity and pleading.

Your heart shattered into a million pieces again but this time it was from how tender this moment was.

Here was your 6 foot something basically demigod like friend candidly, vulnerablly, asking you to cook for him.

Picking your foot off the breaks you compose yourself while you reverse the car out of your parking spot thinking of a proper answer so you could give him the sincerity he deserved in that moment.

He wasn't used to feeling like this, it must have truly been a lot for him.

Right now you were both hurting, currently you weren’t in the mood for a lot and for different reasons and so was Clark.

Nobody could get her back for you but you sure could make some soup.

“Of course Clark”

“Thank you (nickname for yn)” You heard him sniffle but you couldn't tell if it was from his nose or because he was actually teary eyed.

“I'll be there as soon as possible okay i just need to stop by the store and pick some things up okay, you just rest i remember where the spare key to the front door so don't worry about it just rest up dude, imma let you go now m’kay”

hanging the phone up after a beat you connect the aux and start thinking of what you'll need to get.

Like always you were thankful for Clark, he had unknowingly given you something to think about to take your mind off of her.

—

You are practically a blur in the grocery store,

grabbing everything you for the soup doing your best not to waste anymore time then needed.

You had had dinner at Clarks plenty of times before since you two became closer, crush aside, you were his friend being at his house was commonplace.

So you had a vague understanding of what would be in his kitchen.

It was around 3 when you got out of school because of your off period, nobody was out on the roads either still in school, work, or engaged in mundane tasks which ment check out had no line saving you even more time.

In total you had two bags filled with veggies, one or two seasonings your household loved that his didn't have,a small chicken, and some medicine.

Unfortunately Clark did live on a farm so his house was a bit out of the way from town,

Smallvillie was as its namesake implied,

a small town place meaning other than the main part of town most things were a comfortable distance from each other.

The Kents had a nice sized farm which meant they would be even further away from everything.

On the plus side, that meant the roads that lead to their house were the back roads, which allowed for kicking up the speed a little.

In all it took you about 15 minutes to get to Clarks house, on the drive over you went over the steps of how your mother always made chicken soup.

Clean and cut the veggies, saute with a bit of seasonings just enough to bring out some flavor, add water, clean and dismember the chicken, add it, let simmer, seasoning, taste, adjust.

You knew you had reached the Kent farm when a large iron fence with the family’s name spelled beautifully in cursive with two massive oak trees on either side of the metal work gate came into view.

Getting out of your car just before the gate you walk up and push the gate open, going back to the car and driving through, then doing the same but closing the gate once you were in the property.

They had yet to switch to electrical, favoring less Tec as possible on the farm.

Traveling up a gravel road that was about half a mile led you to the large two story yellow abode which had housed your sick friend.

The Kents were a pretty old family to Smallville,

once while Clark and you were walking around the farm he told you his great grandparents were the original people to build the home, making it at least a hundred years old.

Parking, with haste to your movements you grab the grocery bags and head up the porch steps to find a large colorful mosaic flower pot filled with daisies and sunflowers next to the door.

You knew that placed in the back area of the flowers was a small box holding a spare key to the door.

Setting down your groceries next to the door you crouch down and lightly feel around the stems for a familiar wood texture, sure enough after patting around the tips of your fingers brushed against the edge of a hard surface.

Delcatling taking the box out of the flowers like a claw machine doing your best to avoid the carefully taken care of flowers to get your prize.

Opening the box you get a flash or a memory when you look at a swinging woodwork bench on the wraparound porch.

It was last summer,

the heat had become unbearable so you and a group of friends all had agreed it would be a lake day,

one of your brothers had dropped you off at clarks.

You had gotten there an hour early then planned because your brother would be busy any other time and you didn't want to make anyone go out their way to come get you since you all lived on odd ends of the town.

An older man was watering the plants talking with a woman who looked to be the same age as him about what to have for dinner,

it was a beautiful sight.

Two people so deeply in love idly chatting away a peaceful day.

At the time you had not really known Clark that well, it would be your first real time hanging out with him outside of school,

so going up to his house all by yourself had made you extremely nervous.

And maybe the two seasoned individuals before you could feel it,

the anxiety was oozing off you as you tried to act as naturally as possible.

You smiled a bit remembering how tightly you gripped the strap of your bag unsure of what to say to the two love birds.

You weren't much of an introvert but for some reason you couldn't find any words to offer to the parents in front of you.

“You must be Clark's friend y/n right sweetie” The woman you would later learn name was Martha said giving you the most loving smile to ever grace this side of the country.

She gestured for you to sit next to her on a wood swinging bench.

As you did the older gentleman spoke.

“Clarks told us so much about you-”

you had thought he got you mixed up with another of clarks friend.

Clark mentioning you?

You two were friends, yes, he was basically the easiest person to get along with in the whole school, but enough for you to mention you to his parents ?

No way.

You were ready to write it off as parents mixing their kids' friends up when he said something that solidified it was indeed you he was referring to.

“he mentioned you loved art, even showed us a picture of yours, you’ve got an impressive talent their young lady. I was a bit of an artist in my day too, maybe one day I can show you” He chuckled warmly,

after hearing how kind they both were it was like a damn had been let loose.

It led to the three of you engaged in an energetic conversation about art and the farm.

You learned much, their names being one, and many small tibets about Clark.

Like how when he was 9 he would try and sleep in the barn to get closer to his favorite cow Aurora, she was a curly cow, Clark and her would walk around the farm for hours while they talked.

Mrs Martha would swear that she could hear Aurora mooing back at Clark at times.

You told them of one of your earliest memories of painting and how you loved being able to capture mundane moments with vibrant colors.

It was probably 10 minutes before Clark came bursting through the front door.

The door swung open and out popped the star boy,

that's what his parents called him,

“Im so sorry yn-” he stopped talking when he saw how you were helping Mr. Jonathan prune some of the rose bushes in the front while Mrs Martha was knitting and yall were all laughing about something Mr. Jonathan had said.

We all looked up at him, you gave him a smile and wave.

“Am I interrupting something?” He said with a large smile glancing around at all of us.

“No y/n was just joining us for a conversation while she waited for you and offered to help with the roses. She's such a sweet girl Clark why don't you bring her around more, we could use more company around the farm, you're always busy” Mrs. Martha says as she places her knitting down to look over her son.

You think it's just because his mothers teasing him but you can see a bit of a red form in Clarks face.

“Mom y/n busy I think she has other things to do than chat with you and dad” He says walking to where you and his father were.

You had been on your knees snipping at the bushes dead leaves while Mr. Kent did the ones towards the top, he even gave you a little cushion to rest your knees.

You guys had really worked out a whole routine in your small time together.

Clark extended his hand to you,

mouthing an “im sorry”.

You let out a small laugh as he helped you up.

He was delicate with you but you could tell helping you up was no exertersion on his part.

“It was nice meeting you two Mrs. Martha, Mr. Jonathan.”

You took off the gloves Mr. Jonathan gave you to work and set them down on the cushion, picking it all up

“Is there somewhere i can put this for you Mr. Jonathan?” you ask, looking at the kind man.

He simply laughs and tells you to not worry about it and let Clark handle it,

you turned around before you could see it fully but Jonathan had glanced between you and Clark before looking at Martha.

They both shared a conversation that you and clark were completely oblivious too.

Placing the bundle in Clarks hands, you continue talking with his parents as he put away your tools.

“ Which lake are yall going to?” Mrs. Martha says

“Lake Paradigm, Chole heard there were space rocks in the water were all gonna go check it out with her, it will just be us there so that's cool” You say remembering the photo Chole sent to yalls group chat.

Before anyone could say more, Clark had come back

“alright y/n ready to go inside? I know it's pretty hot out here, sorry to steal your gardening mate guys”

“Well good thing y/n agreed to have dinner with us later tonight right y/n so you may take her” Mrs. Martha says beaming at you.

You look at her you don’t remember agreeing to that but was happy to see the Kents liked you enough to invite you to dinner,

then your eyes glance over to Clark seeing slight confusion in his face.

There is a deep drop in your stomach when you think he does not want you at his house any longer than needed,

your ears begin heating up.

Had you overstepped by talking with his parents so casually ?

Feeling embarrassed you look at your hands and begin to open your mouth ready to spew some excuse why you couldn't attend later

“Sor-’

“I would love that, mom makes a killer Meatloaf”

You turn your head up to see Clark with his lips turned up in a simile looking at you.

It took you a second to process what he said but once you did you mouth began mirroring his smile, it made you feel giddy.

For a quick eternity it was just you and Clark looking into each other's eyes smiling.

in that moment with the summer sun bright behind yall and a fresh breeze passing by, you felt on top of the world.

You were the first to look away, staring directly into the sun isn't good for you.

“Todays turning out wonderfully Honey, we have company to dinner, and our son complimenting my cooking for once” Martha let out a chuckle

“Mom i’ve complemented your food before” Clark says with a light eye roll

His mother just juts her eyebrow at him and it was fast but you seen her eyes flicker to you “Sure”

“We're gonna head in now if that's okay with you guys” Clark gestures for me to walk ahead of him.

“Hold on, yn, here”

Mr. Jonathan steps back from his bush and looks over it for a minute,

you see his eyes lock to a rose that looked perfectly in bloom.

Its vibrant red petals just freshly blossomed.

He goes up to it and cuts it off the branch and makes quick work of removing the thorns with his shears.

Inspecting the flower one more time before walking up to you.

“It's a thankful, for keeping our old bones company and helping me out today”

He extends his hand so you can take hold of the gift.

You receive the flower and say your thanks.

In that instance you could see his son in him.

You knew Clark was adopted but you always felt that the powers at be melded loved ones into each other and as you looked at Jonathan now you felt like it was like looking at a picture of Clark.

Kind hearted, they shared it in their smiles and eyes. Something you could see seeped deep into their souls.

As Clark led you through his house all you could pay attention to was the rose.

Your mother was a gardener as well, you knew how much love it took to care for those stubborn flora.

The gorgeous rose would definitely be pressed into a book later.

You were brought back to the present day by the sound of one of the grocery bags tipping over spilling out an onion.

Picking up the veggies and placing it in the bag you give the porch a last glance as you put the key into the lock.

Opening the door you were met with the rustic interior of the home,

tons of wood accents with the walls matching the yellow from the outside.

“ Clark” you called out there was no tv or music playing in the living room so you weren't sure if he was downstairs or upstairs.

Walking a few more steps in the room before Clarks hoarse voice rang out the cold adding a sonorous tone to his already deep inflection.

Following the sound came from to the couch where he was bundled up with an icepack on his head his eyes closed.

“Hey there star boy, how you feeling ?”

You squat down in front of him with the hand free of groceries and move some hair off his face.

Delicately you bring your hand to his cheek, you wanted to gauge how hot he was feeling.

The skin under your hand felt like it was just in a hot sauna, with your hand still on his face he spoke

“human”

You let out a small laugh, if only he knew much you shared his feelings.

“I'm gonna go start cooking okay, I bought some medicine. You think you're up to taking some now? Or do you wanna wait till there's something to eat with it?”

Removing your hand from his face to stand you start to ruffle around the plastic bag for the box containing cold reliever.

As if triggered by the removal of your hand Clark slowly opened his eyes and sat up placing the ice pack in his lap.

Now that he was upright the space between y'all felt even smaller because you had gotten so close to feel his temperature earlier.

He was staring up at you though his eyelashes watching you read the medicine box.

You could see him watching you but chose to keep your eyes laser focused on the box.

Reading the directions out loud

“ Take medicine with or without food as long as your stomach is not weak. It said you can take 30 mL everyday till you feel better. Okay easy enough”

Lowering the box a little you look at him.

He had a blanket over his head with a little pout decorating his features.

Taking a small breath in, he was so beautiful it was annoying.

It was a quiet moment as he thought about the instructions.

You could see his mind settle on an answer

“Whatever you think is best, yn, i don't take medicine often.” You gave a small nod then looked at the box again.

“After dinner it is. I'll get started on that then, i basically know where everything is so you can stay sitting down still.” setting the box back into the grocery bag you make your way to the kitchen.

To your surprise you can hear Clark get up to follow you, you go to the sink and he goes to the closest chair to the sink.

You don't say anything,

only give him a curious tilt of your head as you grip the faucet turning it the opposite way causing water to pour out.

“Wanted to watch you cook” He answered your wordless question.

“Mmh” was the only reply you gave, washing off all the fresh produce, making sure everything was thoroughly cleaned so as to not risk getting him sick in any other way.

You weren't sure what could get him sick right now so you didnt wanna chance it even a little.

As he said he was watching your every move, you didn’t mind much but your ears for a reason totally unconnected had begun to heat up.

“Clark where do y'all keep the cutting boards ?”

At least him being in the kitchen with you ment asking locational questions was a lot easier.

“The cupboard next to the stove on the bottom right… Other side, there you go.”

A small chuckled left him when you went to the wrong side at first, at least his spirits were lifting a bit.

You were most ways through chopping up your first vegetable when Clark had started playing a song on your phone.

Me and You by Brenton Wood,

immediately you knew which playlist he had picked out.

You guys had made one together one day when doing homework together, Clark had basically become your math tutor, and you his history.

He was a quick learner when it came to everything so you guys always sped through the work until it came time for you to do math work.

You glided through the kitchen taking out everything you would need, trying to keep the dishes to a minimum as you worked.

You were impressed with how much you remembered about his kitchen only needing to ask where they kept the garlic.

Clark would ask you questions on why you would do certain things, he was never trying to get better at cooking so it all perplexed him.

You answered, babbling away about the different techniques different members of your family taught you in the kitchen the conversation would eventually always fizz off into a content break, allowing the sound of music, cooking, and general kitchen chaos to fill in.

Having a big family was useful because it meant that most things in life had an anecdote you could recall to help guide you.

Talking with Clark was fun, easy, natural as blinking even.

But he was sick right now so you tried to carry as much of the conversation as possible when a conversation would pick up again every now and then.

he seemed fine with this and if neither of you had anything to say the music would fill in

It was all very domestic.

What made it all the better was it being a Friday night meaning there was no rush, you had no real responsibilities this weekend especially because christmas break started today.

The veggies were all done sitting nicely in the pot you chose heating up with some butter and seasoning as you moved onto the chicken.

You dreaded this part most,

raw meat made you want to throw up the way it was so germy and textured.

Unfortunately this was chicken soup so it was unavoidable,

taking a deep breath you picked up a portion and started slicing through tendons removing the legs, breasts, then finally the wings.

Once you had the pieces divided up you worked at getting the bones separated.

The bones were important to delivering the nutrients into the broth.

Your dad had taught you what to put in broths when you were sick; ginger, thyme, bones, lemon, and the smallest dash of cinnamon.

You made sure to put a good helping of all of it in the soup, one way or another Clark would be better.

You let the veggies cook a while, cleaning up and conversating more with Clark in the mean time.

Now it was time to add the bones into the pot, the vegetables had begun filling the kitchen with an aromatic smell that told you everything was going as it should.

You wanted to hold off on adding the meat till the last few minutes so it wouldn't be to tuff, for now the veggies and bones were enough.

You let them cook together for a handful of minutes more before adding some water.

Cleaning everything up then putting a lid on the pot you had nothing to do for a good 20 minutes.

Leaning back on the counter you look at Clark for the first time in a while too focused on making his soup to give him much attention other than chatting.

He was still contently staring at you as if you were the most entertaining food program in the world.

“How's your throat feeling ?”

you had bought some tea when you were at the store, anticipating his answer so now all you waited for was confirmation to grab the kettle out and make some tea for the both of you.

“Soar but I'll live. ''

He gave a small smile, you mirror him then turn back to the counter, hands going to the bag to grab out the tea box.

Lifting the box out of the bag giveing a light shake so he can acknowledge it.

“Oolong, mom says it's the best for when you're sick”

Now you're walking over to where they keep the kettle, taking hold of it and bringing it to the faucet to fill it and finally to the oven.

Casually you turn the knob on the oven to about half way and let it heat up.

“You really thought of everything huh yn”

“You would do the same for me Star boy” You walk over to Clark, sitting in the chair next to him. You let your head fall to rest on his shoulder and he rests atop yours while you wait.

“You've been quiet today” He says in a bit of a quiet tone.

“Didn’t want to make you talk alot” You lie

He's quiet for a moment, you both watch as steam rises from the pot circling up until it disappears.

“Yn”

“Clark”

He lifts his head off yours and turns his body to you fully

“Yn” Clark takes your hand in his, and starts tracing your knuckles with his thumb.

His hand is always warm but now that he's sick it's swelteringly hot and your senses are only heightened with his full attention on you.

“My hearing is not what it is when I'm fine, but I could hear your heart when you picked up the phone.”

“I told you not to do that Clark”

You look into his eyes now eyebrows pinched together slightly

“It was hard to block out (nick name for yn)”

he flips your hand and begins tracking the lines on your palm.

It's now you fully turning to face him, causing your knees to touch together slightly.

You reach up and move a strand of hair away from his eyes.

“Another day star boy” You can tell by his face he doesn’t like the answer, but he can tell by your face not to push it.

Instead he holds his hand up between you two and lifts his pinky.

“Promise, yn”

You join your pinkies together

“Promise” Your voice cracked a little but you smiled regardless hoping he can understand through the vagueness what you're trying to say.

Like always Clark is not the first to break away even when the tea kettle starts going off he makes no move to acknowledge it only looking at you.

You let your pinky go but stayed looking at him for a moment longer searching his face for nothing in particular.

Getting up you walk over to the stock and move the kettle onto a burner that is not on and switch off the heat.

Finding the cupboard with the mugs you take out two large mugs.

“Two scoops of sugar no milk”

You say it more as a reminder to yourself, you know how he likes his tea.

“Mmh, teaspoon of honey, milk and vanilla” You wander around the kitchen making up y'all's cups

“Impeccable memory as always Clark”

Finishing up you set his cup down in front of him,

taking yours with you as you check the pot sipping on it as you do.

Lifting the lid you see the water has come to a rolling boil while some of the veggies has begun to become mushy as well as translucent.

Placing your cup down you pick a wood spoon and give the pot a good stir.

“ 10 more minutes then I'll add the chicken, after that it should be done pretty soon”

[gummybear1178]

F-14 (Family of 14) Chapter 3

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2:

Chapter 4:

Also on AO3:

Hope you guys enjoy! If you want on the taglist let me know! (See guys I am learning Tumblr)

Not fully sure where this story is going other than it will be IceMav and their 12 adopted dagger squadron kids!

The dagger squad is determined to find out who Maverick is married to, leading to some shenanigans and eventually the reveal! Followed by one shots featuring MavDad Icemav and Dadmiral with the Daggers! Feel free to leave requests and ideas!

Followed Maverick plot but Icemav is a thing, some changes along the way, all set up to show Mav and Ice and their adopted Dagger Squadron kids!

"I already miss you." Mav said softly.

"I miss you too Pete. If I didn't have to be here I wouldn't." Ice promised from the other side of the country.

"You know, for once it's not me causing us to be in separate locations and have to video call. You have to admit that is quiet a feat. Especially, since my current posting has me basically permanently home." Maverick teased.

"That just means you have to deal with what I dealt with for how many years?" Ice gave him a knowing look, "And it means you can't get in trouble while I'm gone."

"I have enough reasons to stay put."

"Good, now I am disappointed we have to postpone our reveal to the Daggers."

"Nah, this will just make it even funnier. I was thinking of inviting them out to the hanger tomorrow."

"Don't you dare let it slip without me there. I have to see the reactions."

"I will do everything in my power to prevent that. However, I think I will leave up our wedding photos. I have plenty of photos up, it will be hard for them to realize that it's my husband in the picture and not just my wingman. Also there are several pictures of me with people at the wedding up, and we are all in uniform."

"Fair point, plus it will just be that much funnier when they realize they literally had our wedding photo out."

"Also, I think I am going to fill Bob in later today, make sure he doesn't give them too much information or theories and make them realize. Feel up to another video call later in which we do a reveal, therefore you get to see the reaction."

"I would be delighted, however that does not take the place of our evening call."

"Never, I love seeing you and talking to you too much."

"Alright, after their debrief today I will hold Bob back under the guise of wanting to discuss some extra WSO stuff. Also, they don't know I know about the current bet so they have no reason to believe that's what it's about."

"Sounds like a plan, the conference won't start til tomorrow morning, so I can answer at any point. You on the other hand need to go start class. You can't get in trouble especially when I'm on the other side of the country."

Maverick nodded with a smile.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

---

"Alright, I think I've corrected yall enough for one day, everyone head out, and don't forget my hanger tomorrow. I sent yall the address. Dismissed." Maverick told his daggers after hours of lecture.

"Bye Mav!" They chorused on their way out.

"Bob, hold back for a second." Maverick ordered as the rest headed out, Bradley still feiging grabbing his stuff in order to hang back.

"Sir?" Bob asked.

"I hear there is a bet going on." Maverick said with the most stern expression he could come up with.

"Yes sir." Bob said, trying his best to keep a professional tone of voice and not let the fear squeak through.

"Well, I have someone who would like to talk to you about that." Maverick said pulling out his phone and pressing the video call button.

Bob's eyes were wide as he feared what was to come next. This was never in his training.

Bradley slowly made his way to the side with his phone filming.

"Lieutenant Floyd, I hear there have been some rumors flying about me?" Iceman answered the phone with his famous cold expression.

Bob's eyes went wider than they thought possible.

"Sir-" Bob wasn't sure what to say.

"Bob, I would like to officially introduce you to my husband, Admiral Tom 'Iceman' Mitchell-Kazansky."

"So I was right?" Bob finally spoke looking over at Rooster.

"Pops, just clarifying you are married to dad right? Which makes Bob's bet correct?" Bradley said with a smirk on his face.

"That is correct Baby Goose."

Bob froze once more, this was far more information than he was expecting, and he wasn't expecting any of it.

"I think you two broke Bob." Maverick laughed.

"You know, so much has just made sense." Bob finally spoke.

"Information tends to do that." Ice said in a dry tone.

Once again Bob learned something new, the admiral was sarcastic. Though that fit with Maverick.

"So, kid, since you are the only one to guess correctly, we are pulling you in on the plan. Also because you knowing could corrupt the plan if we didn't interfere." Maverick informed him.

"What do you need me to do sir?" Bob said, a small mischievous smirk making it's way onto his face.

"Be our Stealth Pilot. Collect information that Bradley doesn't get, report to us, and have fun messing with the narrative. Especially at the hanger tomorrow. We planned on the big reveal being sooner however Ice was called away for a conference, so we have more time to mess with the others."

"I'm in."

"I figured as much. Tomorrow, I need you to both dissuade and encourage the theory that Ice is my husband. No too much either way though. Just don't push the fact we are married too much to the point that they actually figure it out."

"I want to enjoy the shock on their faces, so they better not uncover the truth when I am not there." Ice gave his admiral glare.

"I would be delighted sirs."

"Good, have fun lieutenant."

---

"I'm sorry, you just casually have a P-51, and you never told us about it?" Phoenix asked incredulously.

"I'm show it to you now am I not?" Maverick rolls his eyes.

"Can we fly it?"

"Do you know how to fly it?"

"Well, no..."

"Then you all can take turns being the back seater, how about that?" Maverick offered.

A collection of cheers were heard from the squadron.

"But not all you today, we can do a few every now and then." Maverick amended, there was not time for him to go up and down with all 12 of them today.

The pilots grudgingly agreed.

"Hey Mav, is this who I think it is?" Coyote asks pointed to a series of photos on the wall.

"That would be Goose, Bradley's father."

"Wait, he played the piano too?" Omaha asked.

"Where do you think Bradley got it from? He grew up listening to his dad play. His favorite song to play was 'Great Balls of Fire'. Hints, where Bradley got it from."

A look of understanding crossed Hangman's face.

"So is this baby Pops?" Hangman asked pointing to a photo in the corner.

"Yea, that's a baby Maverick." Bradley laughed.

"And that is a baby Bradley." Maverick pointed to several pictures.

"Guys! Look it's Admiral Kazansky!" Fanboy pointed to a photo of them in their formal uniforms.

Maverick stifled a laugh, they were pointing at what was one of their wedding photos.

"Hey look it's the same photo they have up in the halls at Top Gun!" Payback added.

"That was taken right after our first mission together as wingmen." Maverick explained.

"Can you- Umm..."

"Out with it Fanboy." Maverick rolled his eyes at the sudden timidness of the pilot.

"Can you tell us the story of that day, I mean rumors flew at the academy and flight training, but I'm sure it's changed over the years."

"How about this, you tell me what you've been told, and I'll tell you how close it is." Maverick agreed hesitantly. It wasn't his favorite story to tell, too many things associated with it. Too many close calls and too soon after a close call wasn't just close.

"The main version I've heard, is that you were pulled straight from Top Gun graduation for a mission and you two were like besties, and got sent off and face 5 MiGs at once and you took down 3 and chased the other 2 away."

"It's a close version, but not true. Iceman and I were rivals at Top Gun, and I was the spare for that mission." Maverick explained.

"Was Goose your RIO for that one?" Coyote asked, not realizing the timeline nor the weight of his words.

Maverick froze for a second, his breath leaving him, as Bradley looked down at the floor.

Hangman chose to answer for them thanks to his findings before the mission.

"No, I thought Goose died in a training accident at Top Gun."

"That, was the first mission I flew without Goose." Maverick explained, his voice coming out weaker than it had been.

The squads eyes went wide as they quickly found a new picture to ask about.

Bradley watched his god father closely, he knew no matter how long it had been, Goose's death was a touchy subject for him. It was for Bradley too, but not in the same way. He only remembered the man from stories, videos, and pictures.

They found a large group photo.

"Who are these guys Mav?" Halo asked.

"That, is the Top Gun class of '86. Well at least my class." Maverick explained.

"So do you still keep in contact with the admiral?" Payback asked pointing to the another picture of their wedding, this time of Ice and the Bradley's class of'86 uncles.

"I do, I had a phone call with him last night actually. That photo was actually taken at my wedding. I still keep in contact with most of the guys from my Top Gun class. We do little reunions every now and then." Maverick decided to reveal. It didn't give much away because they were both in uniform as well as there were a several pictures from that day of him with other people also in uniform.

"Wait, when do we get to meet them?" Yale asked.

"Meet who?" Maverick not sure if they meant Ice or the class of '86.

"Whoever you're married too!" Harvard answered.

"Oh, it will be a few days, he got called away to a conference. He has been waiting to meet you guys though."

Bob smirked from the back of the group.

"Hey who is this?" Phoenix asked pointing to another photo.

Quickly leading to story time for a series of other photos.

---

Dagger Group Chat

Fanboy We have new INFO!!! Mavericks HUSBAND is at a conference. Therefore we can knock out Penny and Hondo, because we saw Hondo earlier therefore not at a conference.

Phoenix So all we have left is We haven't met them, Cyclone, and Warlock.

Bob And Admiral Kazansky

Payback Sorry Bobby, but it's definitely not the Admiral, I mean we saw the photo earlier, taken at the wedding, not the groom. If he was married to the Admiral he just would have said that.

Bob I guess that makes sense, but I am standing by my bet

Halo Good, because bets are closed, no changing

Harvard We can also narrow it down if we find out if Cyclone or Warlock left for a conference. Seems like something they would do as the heads of Top Gun. If either are gone tomorrow, then we have our answer.

Hangman Or we establish we just don't know who they are because we have never met them. So if both are there tomorrow, then Phoenix and I win.

Yale Woah Woah Woah, Hangman, don't count your eggs before they've hatched. Your bet is that we don't know of them, we could know of them we just didn't bet on them. Therefore you would be wrong too.

Hangman Fine, we find out officially when we meet them, that work for everyone?

Phoenix As long as it ends with free round for me from everyone, then I don't care when.

Hangman Except me, I would get free rounds too!

Phoenix Yes Hangman, except you.

---

"Ice, you wouldn't believe it, they literally talked about one of our wedding photos and didn't catch on."

"The look on their faces is going to be priceless."

"Are you sure you can't hurry back from your conference?"

"I would if I could, I would do it even if we weren't waiting to do this reveal. I would do it just to come back to you."

"Aww, the ice cube is melting."

"Only for you."

"Sarcastic Iceman might actually kill them though, they still only know stoic Ice Cold Admiral Iceman."

"So, maybe I shouldn't meet them then, we will be down 10 of our best aviators." Ice jokes.

"I said might not would, plus you are a guardian angel you could bring them back to life."

"No I am your guardian angel, and occasionally Bradley's."

"You mean you don't want to do the paper work that would be involved."

"Maverick, I do my paperwork, but that doesn't mean I want extra."

"Fair point, if I didn't have to do my paperwork I never would."

"You do your paperwork last minute anyway!"

"Yea, but I still do it."

Ice glares at him thru the phone.

"I love you too," Maverick smirks. "But seriously, how much longer until you are back? Despite being Iceman you keep the bed very warm, and it is cold now."

"Your personal heater will be back in two days."

Maverick smiled.

---

.

.

.

I hope you guys are enjoying!! Fear not the reveal is coming!! Sorry that this one is a little shorter, they will probably average 2k to 4k in words. Depending on what's in each chapter. I have planned out a lot of what will be happening. Once the reveal occurs it will become more one shots taking place after this focusing on fewer daggers at a time.

If you have any requests or ideas for those one shots let me know! I have my own list but will happily add!

Also I need help picking Ships

Hangman and Rooster or Phoenix and Rooster? I like both, and both can work for this story, or I can leave them relationshipless for now.

Please comment! You guys don't understand the joy I feel when yall comment! Hop you enjoyed!

[a-casual-kpopfan]

Homecoming - Heejin

Di-da, dum-di-dum, di-dum. Dum, dum, dum, di-dam. 

“Ugh, it’s morning already?” You sit up from your bed and turn off the obnoxious alam. “Ugh another day in hell.” Getting up from bed and putting on your slippers, grabbing a towel and making a beeline to the washroom.

After taking a nice shower, you start getting dressed for class. 

Ding “Ugh, what now.” You say bitterly while picking up your phone, only to be met with a reminder notification. “Homecoming 4 days left.” 

You turn the notification off and throw the phone on the bed. “Do I really need a notification from my phone to remind me that I’m still single?” You say to yourself as you continue getting dressed.

~~~~~

[University Campus]

“You don’t have a date yet?” Zach judges you, as you tell him and your other friend Francis that you don’t have a date for the Homecoming event this week. “No one interests me.” You tell your friends in an uninterested tone.

“No one interests you or you’re just interested in someone who’s impossible to be with?” Francis asks, raising an eyebrow while looking at you. “Aish, just like I said. No one interests me to go to homecoming with!” 

“No one interests you or no one wants to go with a loser like you?” 

You, Zach, and Francis stop walking and turn around, just to see the most obnoxious person in the school. Park Doyeon. “What do you want Doyeon?” Zach asks, Doyeon completely ignores Zach and confronts you. 

“You’re a loser, that’s why you don’t have a date” Doyeon says up in front of your face, you clench your hand into a fist and man, may God hold you back from throwing those fists at him. 

“I do have a date!” You blurted out in anger due to Doyeon’s annoyance. “You do?” Both Francis and Zach gave you a weird look, not realizing that you don’t mean what you said.

”Y-Y-Yeah! I just told you guys, r-right?!” The stuttering isn’t helping you right now. “O-Oh yeah! That girl, remember Zach?” Francis realized what you were doing and joined in the act. 

“Oh, Thank God for Francis.”

Zach looking everywhere, completely clueless. “I don’t think you have a date loser” Doyeon says, scoffing at your bluff. “Who are you talking about?” Zach asks, if you guys weren’t in public right now, you would be choking him right now. 

“You know! That girl who I talk about every time?” You give Zach a little death stare.“Ohhhhh!!!” Zach throws his arms up, finally he catches up with the act. 

“Jeon Heejin of Loona is coming with you to the homecoming!!”

 .

 ..

 ...

 ....

“EH????”

“She is!!!!” Zach then starts running from group to group around the campus, telling everyone.

Everyone.

“HE’S GOING TO HOMECOMING WITH HEEJIN OF LOONA!!”

“Wow, I guess you’re not a loser like I thought. But, you know? If you come alone… I guess you can call your social life goodbye.” Doyeon walks off, laughing his ass off, assuming he already suspects this is an act.

“What a predicament you got yourself into...” Francis says as you slowly get down on your knees..

“Damn it, damn it, damn it.”

As you get on the floor groveling about your failure, Zach continues skipping around the campus letting everyone know that an idol will be attending the homecoming event, although Francis sees this a golden opportunity for you to not be COMPLETELY humiliated. 

“Come on you big oaf.” Francis proceeds to pull Y/N off the ground and starts dragging you around to follow Zach. “Where are we going?” asking as you two continue to chase your your clueless friend. “I have a plan.” Francis pulls out a phone and starts recording Zach.

“HE’S BRINGING JEON HEEJIN TO HOMECOMING!!” Once Francis had gotten about 2 minutes of footage, he proceeds to post the video onto Instagram and tags @loonatheworld on it. “What are you doing?!”

You start to panic while Francis stays nonchalant about the situation. “It won’t hurt anyone, let’s call this an experiment!” Francis says while pressing the upload button

~~~~~

[BBC Practice Room]

“Alright, that’s enough for today!” Heejin drops to the floor feeling exhausted after hearing their instructor calling it a day. Most of them laying or sitting on the floor already, catching a breath.

“Damn, my knees are so sore.” Hyeju says while rubbing her knees. “Yeah, our company needs to get us some higher quality kneepads.” Sooyoung replies. “Ahhhhhh, I need some water!!” One of the balls of sunshine, Jiwoo yells out while lying on the floor like a starfish.

 “I’ll go get the water!!” Choerry jumps up onto her feet, followed by Yeojin. “Me too unnie!” Choerry and Yeojin both walked over to the other side of the room to grab the water bottles. “Yeojin-ah, can you grab my phone too?” Haseul yells out. 

“You mean your TV?” Hyeju comments about Haseul’s phone. “Yah, Son Hyeju, it’s not a TV!” Yeojin and Choerry come back to the practice room carrying water bottles for everyone, with Yeojin carrying Haseul’s phone. “Thanks, you two.” Heejin says as they sit on the floor joining the rest. 

“He-Heejin!!” Haseul calling her over, acting frantic for some reasons. “Woah, woah, woah… What’s wrong unnie?” She comes up to Haseul who’s panicking while Jiwoo and Sooyoung are in awe for some reason. “D-Don’t panic Heejin.” Haseul tells her as she shows her phone. 

“JEON HEEJIN IS COMING TO OUR HOMECOMING!

 “What...”

 What is this?

 “The...”

 Oh God no.....

 “WHAT THE FUCK!?”

 ~~~~~

[BBC CEO Office]

*Knock knock*

“Come in.” Heejin hears the voice of her CEO coming from the office. She enters seeing the PD sitting in the office with a stranger. “Ah Heejin, come, sit, sit.” Nodding at the guest and the PD, she walks in and closes the door, making her way next to the guest.

“Now Heejin, to catch you up to speed. This is the one behind the video.” Heejin looks over to the person sitting in the chair next to her, shocked. “YOU!!” She stands up angry pointing at you. “Heejin, calm down!” The PD said trying to contain her outburst. “Listen to what this young man has to say.” She sat down with a puff coming out of her.

“S-So…. There’s this cocky guy from school…. Well long story short…. My friend started running around saying I would be taking Heejin to our homecoming, then another posted that video.” Heejin gave you evil devil eyes, making you feel quite nervous being so close, not only the fact that she’s one of the prettiest people you've ever seen, but also the fact that she wants to rip your head off.

(Imagine Heejin angrily staring at you with flames in her eyes.)

“No way in hell I’m going to this kid’s homecoming.” Heejin says looking at the other direction, directly staring at the wall. “Well… Heejin… You all are going to this homecoming.” The PD tells her.

“WHAT?!”

Both you and Heejin stand up from your respective chairs. Clearly surprised reactions, Heejin looks at you. “Well damn…. He has nice hazel-coloured eyes.” Heejin turns her head away from you, turning back to the wall that she was staring at a second ago.

“I think it’s a good opportunity! Consider it a win-win. Heejin and the members go to the university homecoming to promote themselves, and you get your “date” with Heejin.” PD explains to the two of you, air quoting “date.”

“W-Well if H-Heejin doesn’t want t-to come…” You say feeling unsure of the plan. “I guess he’s not a bad kid.” Heejin thinks to herself after hearing that you care for her consent.

“I’ll go for the promotions… And I’ll help you out with this bully situation, but nothing more.” Heejin walks up to you while poking you in the chest. “R-Really?!” Heejin then suddenly felt your arms around her. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” You say over and over.

“Uh… There, there?” She awkwardly pats your back before you back away from her. “S-Sorry.” You say shyly.

“It’s quite alright.” She says to you. “Well at least he has manners…”

“Well, with that being agreed upon, Heejin, would you bring him to the other members and explain the plan?” PD asked of Heejin, she nods and proceeded to walk towards the exit with you before the PD yelled out. “Heejin, don’t break this young man.” You can hear laughing with that.

“Hehe, I’ll try not to!”

~~~~~

[BBC Halls]

You follow Heejin down the halls of the BBC building, looking around seeing a shelf with the two-win trophies from the So What and PTT eras.

“You like the trophies?” Heejin asks you as she stops and looks at the case with a bittersweet smile. “I do, they’re so pretty to look at.” You say with a smile, looking at her, but the look in Heejin’s eyes is almost… Sorrowful?

“Is something wrong?” You say only for Heejin to turn to you with sadness in her eyes.

“I just wish we had more.”

Heejin says, her voice sounding so heavy.

“As an Orbit, I’ll make sure to vote for you every stage!” You scream out feeling determined. “Oh, an orbit?” Heejin smiles at you and wipes the would-be tears from her eyes. “Yes, I’ve been one since debut and I continue to be today!”

“My, my, a committed one, aren’t you?” A voice behind Heejin says.

Heejin turns around and you look past Heejin, to see that it was a tall figure standing in the hallway, leaning on the wall, looking at us.

“Yah, Sooyoung unnie! Why are you spying on us?” Heejin yells a little while stomping like a child, kind of cute to be honest. “Hehe, it isn’t spying if you’re wide in the open.” Sooyoung laughs as she walks towards us. She came up to me and stuck her hand out. “Hello, I’m Yves but you can call me-” “Sooyoung?” I say cutting her off.

“Uh, s-sorry!!” You grab her hand and bow down apologetically. “I’m a big fan of your group, I know a lot of your group.” You then realized you’ve been holding onto her hand much longer than you should be.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” You let go of her hand and take a step back, feeling embarrassed. You keep your head down trying to avoid any eye contact while you can hear both Sooyoung and Heejin laugh. You then look up feeling confused with Sooyoung coming up to you, grabbing your shoulder to help you stand up straight.

“Hehe, what year were you born?” Sooyoung asked me, laughing a little while Heejin is trying to hold in her laughter in the background. “J-July 1997.”

“Idiot why am I stuttering?!”

“July 1997, that makes me older than you! Make sure you call me ‘Noona’ from now on.” Sooyoung says looking at you in the eye with a smirk. “O-O-Okay N-Noona.” You manager to stutter once more, you have never felt so intimidated yet so attracted to someone before.

“OKAY, LET’S NOT WASTE TIME.” Heejin wraps her arm around you, pulling you away from Sooyoung and towards what you assume to be the practice room. 

“Is everything okay?” You ask as Heejin continues to drag you to the door. “I’m fine.” Heejin says with a firm tone. “Uh… Okay?”

You and Heejin, followed by Yves enter the practice room and...

“OH, MY LORD, IT’S LOONA!!!”

“EHEM!” Heejin clears her throat quite loudly, grabbing the attention of all the other members. Having all 10 bodies turn around, all skeptically looking at you up and down, you don’t know how to feel, feeling the need to pass out.

“Unnie, who is this?” Choerry asks, looking at you curiously. “This is-” Before Heejin can finish explaining, a loud voice cuts her off, assuming it’s Chuu. “The guy from the video!” She then pulls out her phone on the Instagram app, showing the before-mentioned video of Zach screaming out “JEON HEEJIN IS COMING TO HOMECOMING!”

You duck down your head due to your face feeling red, remembering the embarrassment that happened just a few hours ago.

“Uh… Yes, but it wasn’t my idea to have that video posted or my intention in putting Heejin in that position.” You bow down apologetically. “I’m sorry for causing any possible stress.”

“Hehehe.” You hear giggling, as you look up, you see every one of them except for Heejin just laughing and giggling amongst themselves. “Eh?” Feeling confused, you were expecting a scolding at the very least. “Isn’t he cute guys?” Sooyoung comes over, patting your back as you straighten yourself out.

“What’s going on noona?” Asking Sooyoung to enlighten your confusion. “Well to us, this is pretty funny and exciting. Things got boring after we finished promoting and wrapping up the Japanese debut.” Sooyoung tells you while shrugging, and all the members in the background give slight nods to her explanation.

“Oh, I see….” You just nod along, although you think that it’s kind of weird to find this entertaining or exciting.

Heejin clears her throat once more to catch everyone’s attention “Anyways… Here’s the plan.” As she begins to explain the plan to everyone…

~~~~~

3 Days till Homecoming

[BBC Private Practice Room]

“Okay, 1 and 2 and 3 and…. No, no. You’re stepping in when you’re supposed to be stepping out.” Heejin puffs angrily at you.

It’s been a day since you two talked about the plan, now you’re working on a slow dancing bit with Heejin, but it comes with a problem.

You don’t know how to dance at all.

“Ugh, I’m sorry Heejin.” You say apologetically, falling on the floor feeling tired. “I’m trying as hard as I can.” Looking at the ground, you can hear Heejin sighing as she walks away, after a minute she comes back putting a water bottle up to your face. “It’s okay, we’ll keep working till it’s perfect.” You look up to Heejin as she’s still holding the water bottle, giving a supportive smile to you.

You grab the water and give her a smile. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

After another few hours of getting this routine down, you and Heejin took a break. Heejin offered to order in some food and had it delivered, naturally you agreed.

“So, what got you into Loona?” Heejin asks you before taking a bite of meat and rice.

“Hmm, just the uniqueness of Loona’s concept. 12 different stories, 12 arcs all meeting into 1 story of itself.” You reply to her while taking a drink of water. “Ah I see, who’s your bias? I’m guessing Jiwoo or Sooyoung unnie. They’re the more popular ones.” Heejin somewhat grumpily says while eating her food.

“You’re a popular member too, you’re the one who started it all and orbits claim you to be the centre of the group.” You try to cheer her up, Heejin swallows in her food and looks at you with a smile.

“By the way, I am older than you, but you treat me like a child.” You playfully tell Heejin to lighten the mood. “Hehe, then what do you want me to call you? Oppa?” The two of you start laughing. “Maybe one day, if we could stay friends after all this?”

“Hmmm…. Maybe, if you deserve it.” Heejin says in the same playful tone as you before taking a bite out of her tteokbokki.

Before saying anything else, somebody decided to bust into the practice room.

“AHHHHHH, WHAT IS THAT WONDERFUL SMELL?!”

You and Heejin turn to the door to see none other than Jiwoo drooling for some food.

“Does she always search for food?” You whisper to Heejin. “Believe me, I don’t know when she keeps it down.” Heejin whispers to you as you both start laughing

“Ehhhh? What’s so funny?” Jiwoo just stands there pouting while the two of keep laughing

“Yah! Jiwoo! What did I say about running off?!” Sooyoung pops in through the door calling Jiwoo to come back. “B-But… They have tteokbokki!” Jiwoo says while pointing at you and Heejin, while pouting towards Sooyoung. “We’ll go get a fresh one for you outside, let’s not disturb these two.” Sooyoung says looking over at you, giving a wink making you blush.

Heejin noticed, and she seems to be... Irritated?

“Okay unnie!” Jiwoo penguin walks out of the room followed by Sooyoung.

“So, it seems like Sooyoung unnie has a liking towards you.” Heejin says while poking at her food with her fork. “Do you think so?” You felt confused about her comment.

“Okay, that’s enough of a break. Let’s practice some more and we eat again after.” Heejin covers her food and stands up, you agreed and did the same.

~~~~~

2 Days till Homecoming

[University Cafeteria]

“Is it true you’re actually bringing Jeon Heejin to homecoming?!” Your friend Zach questions out loud, in the school’s cafeteria. “Shhhhh!” Shushing him before he gets too noisy. “It’s going to be a group event for Loona, so technically Heejin is going to be here.” You tell Zach as he nods along. “Mhmm, mhmm…. So that means…. I get to see Olivia Hye?”

*SMACK*

“Don’t think you’ll have a chance, you’re the one who caused this problem for him.” Francis says while calmly eating his sandwich after smacking Zach at the back of his head. “If I have time, I’ll ask, okay?”  You say as he suddenly has sparkles coming out of his eyes.

“Ugh, you’re so obsessed.” Francis comments on Zach’s reaction. “It’s not like you don’t want to see Vivi too.” Zach replies, causing Francis to glare at him and raises an eyebrow. “Do not invoke her name without permission.”

“Aish, okay...” Zach goes back to eating his rice.

“What am I going to do with you two?” Saying while taking a piece of tteokbokki off your plate. “And by the way, you don’t normally get tteokbokki. What happened to your usual bulgogi?” Zach asks you as he feeds himself a spoonful of rice.

“Hmm... A friend got me hooked.” You smile thinking of Heejin.

*BRRRR*

Your phone goes off and you pick it up from the table.

Heejin: Don’t forget about practice!! (:

“Eh, other people text you?” Zach acting offended that you would have a life outside from your friends. You hold in your chuckle and look at your phone.

“You would be surprised.”

~~~~~

1 Day till Homecoming

[BBC Practice Room]

“Okay, one more time from the top.” Heejin directs you back into start positions.

You get into your position, Heejin holding your right hand out, while you hold on to her left hip, she’s resting her right hand on your left shoulder. “Ready?” She asks, as you take a deep breath and nod. “Okay… Hey Siri, play music.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DompIsLrNa4

Both you and Heejin are in total sync, step by step, your movements and breathing in sync with each other. As you look down to your feet, making sure you’re not stepping on her toes or tripping her… Again.

“Hey, don’t look down.”  You look back at Heejin, who’s looking straight at you.

You were afraid of losing your steps. “Just look into my eyes, just focus.” She tells you. You obey and go along. “One and two and three and...” She started counting out the beats of the song, calming you down and getting you back into rhythm of the song.

The song was ending, the two of you stop to separate. You bow down as she gestures with a curtsey.

“That was great!” Heejin jumps and down and hugs you. “Oh my god! I don’t know how I did that!” Heejin pulls away slightly as she looks into your eyes. Then you realized the two of you were still holding onto each other. Once realized, Heejin separates from you as fast as possible, you can see her blushing and you feel yourself doing so as well.

*Knock knock*

“Ah thank God, someone to save me from the awkwardness.”

“Hi guys, I was going to ask if you two wanted something to eat?” Sooyoung pops in like the other day, through the door and couldn’t have come at a better time. “Ah noona! I just wanted to talk to you about something!” You look back at Heejin. “Can I just talk to her for a minute?” you ask her, she just nodded. “Of course.” As she smiles.

Heejin watches you and Sooyoung walk out, closing the door behind them, questioning why you would need to speak to her alone.

“I wonder what they need to talk about.”

She walks closer to the door, tempted to open, and peek.

“No Heejin! This isn’t your business!”

She talks herself into not butting in someone else’s business.

“But this involves Sooyoung unnie....”

Heejin get up from the floor and slowly walk over to the door, opening it slightly.

“Damn it, Jeon Heejin.”

She peeks through the crack of the door.

“Really?!” You get excited and started doing little jumps off the ground, Heejin would find this cute right now.

But you and Sooyoung are holding hands, being happy together. “I’m so excited!!” Sooyoung hugs you and kisses your cheek.

Heejin then slowly shut the door so they wouldn’t notice that she was watching them.

“Damn it Sooyoung unnie...”

Heejin sighs deeply.

“How am I supposed to survive tomorrow?”

~~~~~~

Homecoming Day

[University Auditorium]

“Oh damn, how can this day come so fast.” You say looking at yourself in a washroom mirror, wiping sweat off your forehead with a paper towel. “Would you calm down? You’ve been with her all week.” Francis says as he washes his hands in the sink next to you. “Yeah, I thought you two were like ‘cool’ with each other.” Zach gestures with hand quotations.

“I know, but today is different.” You tell them as you throw out the paper towel. “It’s now or never.” Francis pats your back as he, Zach and I exit the men’s room.

As you three exit the washrooms, Doyeon is seen leaning against the wall. “So, I don’t know how you did it, you probably knew ahead of time that Loona was going to be a special event for homecoming, didn’t you?” He comes up to you, accusing of faking the “date”. “I don’t know what to tell you man, I was the one who got Loona to attend tonight.” You don’t move away from your spot, but calmly and confidently tell him.

“Oh yeah? And what proof do you have?” Doyeon questions you once more, but before you can say anything.

“Hey!!”

Jiwoo can be heard from down the hall. You turn in the direction of her voice,  as you wave at her as she’s waving towards you. “Jiwoo, what’s wrong?” As Jiwoo runs up towards you, stopping to catch her breath. “Ha… Sooyoung unnie is looking for you.” Jiwoo wraps her arm around one of yours and begins to drag you off.

“You guys go on ahead, I’ll catch up!” You shout out looking at Doyeon’s dumbfounded face.

“Why is noona looking for me?” Jiwoo takes me to the backstage area for the auditorium stage. “You never told me that you were going to ask out Heejin!” You immediately shush her from being any louder. “That’s because that’s supposed to be a secret, I only asked noona for help.”

“You could’ve asked me too!” She pouts at you, looking adorable.

“Ah, I’m sorry Jiwoo. How about you help me next time when I need a new surprise.” You say patting her head, which led her to smile. “Sure!”

Sooyoung then comes around the curtains, as she looks stunning in her outfit.

“Ah there you are, you ready for tonight?” She hands me a rose. You start feeling nervous, little sweat comes down your forehead. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Sooyoung pulls out a paper towel from the table holding treats for the idols. “Don’t sweat through your suit, you’ll be just fine tonight.” She giggles as she wipes the sweat off your forehead. You nod nervously and swallow down some saliva in your mouth. “Do your best and everything will be fine okay?” Sooyoung tries to keep your confidence up.

“Thank you for the help noona.”

“Of course, you’re like a little brother I always wanted.” You and Sooyoung share a hug.

“Okay girls, places!” The stage director started calling the members to gather. “Time to go.” You say quietly, Jiwoo and Sooyoung nodded along. “And noona, I’m not that much younger than you!” You say before Jiwoo and Sooyoung walk off, leaving a smile on her face while Chuu gives you a ‘fighting’ gesture.

“Okay… Now or never…”

~~~~~

“Welcome Loona to South K University!”

“안녕 하세요, 이달의 소녀입나다!!” (“Annyeonghaseyo, Loona ibnida!!”)

You’re sitting at your designated table with Zach, Francis and a couple other students that attend some of the same classes as you. “I can’t believe that stupid video pulled this off.” You say to Francis while everyone claps and some cheer for Loona.

“Don’t think it’s just me, thank Zach for causing that scene.” You look past Francis’ frame to see Zach giving you a big smile and two thumbs up. You cringe slightly and turn your attention back to the stage.

“Thank you, students and faculty, from South K-U, we’re all very happy to be here, performing for people around our age.” Haseul announces while waving to all the attendees tonight.

“I just want to thank a very special someone for making this possible!” Haseul announces as she points over to your table, while the spotlight from above shines at your table. You take a stand and wave at the crowd as they clap along, also taking a small peak at Doyeon just shaking his head at you.

“Hehe, you brought this amongst yourself.”

“Please, enjoy yourselves as we perform some personal favOrites of ours!” Haseul then hands the hand mic over to a backstage member. You take your sit back in your chair, your eyes are only paying attention to one member at this point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ9aERAZ_DU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHPs7qrbGx0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4HkXulnsw4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_UjFdv48N0

After a couple performances, it was mealtime for your and the girls too.

“Waaaaah, I never thought I would see them live, especially for free.” Zach just staring at the stage, admiring Olivia Hye most likely. Francis takes a sigh and takes a bite of his food “They’re really something else.” You chuckle to yourself thinking about how goofy the girls are behind the scenes.

“They’re really amazing people.” You add on to the comments about Loona.

*BRRRR*

You pull out your phone from your pocket.

1 Notification

Heejin: Come backstage, I’m bored ):

“Hehe, cute.”

You: Can I bring my friends?

Heejin: Of course! The more the merrier (:

You: Be there soon!

Heejin: Haha okay!

“Do you guys want to come backstage with me?” You ask as you stand up from your chair, Zach and Francis nodded then followed suit.

“Are we going to meet them?!” Zach started getting excited and jumping around, Francis shortly grabs one of his shoulders. “Calm down, you’ll scare them off.” Making him calm down and regain somewhat composure.

After walking around the tables, the three of you reach the backstage door and you see Loona’s manager.

“Hello. Heejin told me to come back here.” You smiled and bowed slightly, as he did the same. “Okay, just don’t make too much noise.” He tells you as all three of you go through the door.

As soon as you open the door, someone who you’ve been dying to see all night just happened to be the first member you see through the door.

“H-Hey…” Heejin sees you at the door, with your two friends. “You came quickly.” She says to you with a smile, but also looking at the two unfamiliar guys. “Oh, Heejin I want you to meet my friends, Zach and Francis.”

The two bow to greet Heejin, as she does the same. “Thank you for helping our friend, this event is great for everyone.” Francis says.

Heejin the looks at Zach and tilts her head. “Hey, aren’t you the one who...”

“Yeah... I may have been the one who ran around campus and spread those rumors...” Zach looks down and starts putting his fingers together.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He then looks up at Heejin as she gives him a smile. “It’s okay, if it weren’t for you and that video, I wouldn’t have met your great friend here.”  Both you and Heejin end up looking into each other’s eyes.

“U-Uh, oh yeah. You guys want to meet the rest of the members?”

“Oh... O-Of course! Come with me!” Heejin then turns around to lead the three of you to the rest of the members.

Heejin sighs slightly while walking ahead. “He probably wants to see Sooyoung.”

~~~~~

Everyone seems to be acquainted now, Zach is absolutely all over Hyeju, Francis is trying to keep his cool around Vivi, while you’re with Jiwoo, Yerim and Sooyoung. Heejin sitting on the couch just drinking an iced americano.

“Are you okay unnie?” Hyunjin sits next to Heejin on the couch eating a bun. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Hyunjin just nods and continues eating her bun. “You know... Sooyoung unnie isn’t interested in him.” Heejin coughs and choke on her coffee, causing her to jump off the couch.

*Cough, cough, cough*

She feels a hand on my back, rubbing it, expecting it to be Hyunjin, but both her hands are on the bun. Heejin then look up to see your face worried and your hand is the one rubbing Heejin’s back. “Hey, you okay, do you need someone to do the Heimlich?” You ask while giving a little smile.

She smiles back and shakes her head. “Just got surprised is all.” You then nod in response, Heejin then looks down to her spilt coffee on the ground and pouts.

“Hey, when this is over, I’ll buy you a new one... If you’re free?” You ask in hope she’ll accept.

“Huh?” Heejin couldn’t speak out a word, you look at her, expecting and answer but she can’t answer. “I think she needs a moment to breathe, why do you get ready for your act?” Sooyoung comes up.

You nod “Be more careful while drinking.” You say with a smile before walking off. She nods at you slightly and sits back down on the couch next to Hyunjin. “Are you okay Heejin?” Sooyoung sits next to Heejin’s other side, concerned what happened.

“She’s okay, she was just surprised that I said you’re not interested in him.” Hyunjin casually says while she continues munching on her bun. “Oh?” Sooyoung looks at Heejin funny then follows up with a smirk. “You were jealous.”

“Yah, Hyunjin!!” Heejin then smacks Hyunjin’s shoulder, almost making her drop her bun. “Yah, hit me after I finish eating my bread!” Hyunjin gets up and heads over to Jiwoo on the other couch. “Aish that girl.”

“So Heejin.” Sooyoung continues smirking at Heejin. “Y-Yeah.” She’s already gotten caught so she had no choice but admit it. “I thought you two were interested in each other.” Heejin looks away from Sooyoung, feeling quite embarrassed about her feelings.

“Hey, it’s alright.” Sooyoung holds Heejin’s hand, making her turn to Sooyoung. “I was never interested in him. He’s like a little brother.” Sooyoung says to make Heejin look up at her up to Sooyoung’s face.

“She is giving me the love eyes.”

“Does that mean...?”

“Give it a shot Heejin.”

~~~~~

You and Heejin are set up on stage behind the curtain, while the other 11 members are lined up behind you two.

“Ready?” You ask Heejin, she looks at you with quite a big smile. “I’m ready.” You nod at her and at this point, Heejin took a chance.

Before the curtain gets pulled, she kisses your cheek. 10 members gasp at the sight of it, Heejin looks over at Sooyoung behind you two giving the nod of approval.

“H-Heejin?” You’re surprised from her actions, confused even.

Heejin does nothing but smile.

The curtains open, Sooyoung takes the mic and announces that you and Heejin would be taking centre floor. “Remember the routine, breathe calmly, and look into my eyes the whole time.” She reminds you as you smile and nod. “Your eyes are all I see.” Heejin blushes quite a bit from that comment.

Her left hand meets your right.

 Her right hand on your shoulder.

 Your left hand on her hip.

 “1 and....”

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGF_zVN6nNw

 The music has started, your feet are taking the two of you away, your movements feel lighter than ever.

 “So where are you taking me after all this?”

 “How about a café? Good coffee, nice treats?”

 “A new iced americano would be nice.”

 “I’ll get you as many as you want Heejin.”

 She giggles a little bit, the song is ending soon, this moment between you two felt heavenly.

 “Let’s go wherever you want oppa.”

[eclairfromleclerc]

Hello everyone. It feels like ages since I posted the previous chapter of All’s Fair but honestly life and uni exams are catching up after the christmas break. This is another long chapter (6.7K words to be exact) so pardon me. I didn’t want to break it into parts since I have more things in mind for the next chapters. Once again keep in mind that english is not my native language so pardon any mistakes. I hope you will enjoy the chapter. Let me know what you think of it. Hopefully I will be able to post more often as soon as I finish my exams. Stay tuned for more xx.

All’s Fair

(Toto Wolff x Reader) Chapter 5

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4

You hear a phone ringing in your sleep so you extend your hand in the nightstand to get it keeping your eyes closed. You pick up the phone and hear a voice.

“This is your wake up call for 8.30. Have a nice day.”

You quickly open your eyes when you realize that you have to be in the paddock in 30 minutes but you find out that you are not in your room. The heavy headache brings back memories from yesterday. Of course this is not your hotel. You remember that you came here last night. The Ritz. And apart from the fact that you are at Ritz you are in Toto’s room, Toto’s bed to be exact. You remember that you left drunk and came here to confront him. It’s not like you were completely wrecked last night but for a reason you have a massive memory gap. Everything is faint in your mind. The fact that you are already late for your day comes back to your mind and you stand up from the bed to look for your phone and call Christian to inform him that you will be late. You look around for your phone only to see it in the nightstand next to the bed. Connected on a charger-in which you definitely don't remember connecting it to. You press the button to open it but the phone restarts. It was dead all night since you were an idiot and you decided not to charge it before going out with Max. You open your phone and it immediately starts pinging with notifications.

4 Missed Calls From Christian ‘Dad’ Horner

8 Missed Calls From Max Emilian Verstappen

15 New Messages from Max Emillian Verstappen

3 New Messages from Christian ‘Dad’ Horner

You remember you promised Max to call him as soon as you arrived at the hotel but you never did.

You call your dad back to let him know that you were going to be late as you walk to the living room of Toto’s suite. You see a room service trailer with food plates on it.

“Where the hell are you?” your dad tells you “I’ve been waiting in the hotel for 25 minutes.”

“I’m sorry dad. You can leave. I will be late today. I will see you in the paddock.”

“We will discuss it later today. I will be waiting for you, you have no excuses. “ he says and he hangs up.

You call Max as you walk towards the room service cart.

“Where were you last night? Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you text? I was scared as hell you idiot.” he tells you as soon as he picks up.

“I’m so so sorry Max, I forgot I had to text you. I just slept and forgot all about what I told you I would do.”

“Promise me that you’ll never drink and leave alone again.” he tells you.

“I promise Max Emilian Verstappen.” you tell him as you see a piece of paper on the table.

“Don’t call me that, especially right now.”

“Sorry Max. I will be a little late but I will see you in the paddock.”

“Late? Just tell me that you didn’t do anything stupid.” he whines

“I will tell you in the paddock Max" you reply as you look at the paper and see that there's something written on it.

"Okay see you later you drunk missy"

"See you later dumbass" you tell him and you end the call. You pick the paper from the table and start reading it.

"Good Morning. If you are reading this you are probably awake and alright. I had to be in the paddock by 9 and I left. The food on the trailer is breakfast and the pills next to it are supposed to help with whatever kind of hangover you have. Please eat and drink them. If you are looking for your phone I connected it to my charger since it was dead. Max called like 5 times you should call him back. In the closet on your right as you enter my room There's a white Mercedes button up and a pair of trousers as well as a bag with a pair of glasses. Thought you would want to leave this hotel without being seen as ‘Horner’s daughter who was at the Mercedes hotel early In the morning before going ro the paddock’. Just wear them and pretend you are one of us. There will be someone waiting for you outside to get you. I'll see you around in the paddock. Have a nice day-as nice as it can be when you had that much to drink the day before.

-Toto"

Well for the signs of idiocy that he has shown he's quite sweet. You wouldn't be able to treat him this way if it was the other way round. You take a note mentally to thank him when you see him next. Toto Wolff just became a bit less of an asshole in your eyes.

You take a bite from a butter croissant that was on the breakfast trailer along with some sandwiches. You also take the pills Toto told you about and you go to the closet. Once you open the closet door you see it is pretty much full of Mercedes button ups, and black pants. Toto’s blue shirt with his initials TCW is also in the closet along with his beige pants which is his to go outfit outside of the paddock. You see a shirt and a pair of black pants separately from the others so you take them out of the closet, take your last night dress out and you put on the Mercedes gear he left you. The shirt is a bit oversized, clearly Toto’s as it smells like expensive men's perfume but the pants fit you perfectly. They are clearly not Toto's. Thank you Mercedes employee who sacrificed your pants. You put your dress in the bag and wear your pair of high heels and the big black glasses Toto left for you along with a Mercedes mask and you get out of his suite. You walk down to the hotel lobby with slight memories from last night coming back to you. The empty lobby, Sharon, Ritz's policy and your checkbook. You fucking bribed a person to give you Toto’s details. Thankfully Noone recognizes you, Sharon isn't in the reception either. Thank God. Talk about a walk of shame.

You go outside and see a black Mercedes waiting for you "Room 246? The suite?" The man inside it says

"Yes." You answer getting that this was a code name as you get in the car and ride back to your hotel.

A little before you arrive, you think that people can't see you entering the Red Bull hotel with the Mercedes gear on so you switch back to your dress from last night and you put the ones you were wearing in the black bag. You instruct the driver to enter the hotel from the parking to have the minimal interaction possible with people.

"May I have a name please?" The security guy at the parking entrance asks

"Yes. Horner, thank you very much" your driver says

"Of course, have a nice day"

The driver leaves you at the hotel parking and you walk to the elevator. An elevator ride and some walking later you are outside your suite’s door so you get in and dress up for the day. The usual outfit. Red Bull team shirt and a pair of white trousers. You pack your stuff and leave the hotel. You drive to the paddock. It is already 10 so you are already an hour late. You get in the paddock which is relatively empty since everyone is in the garages. You find your assistant Beth and hand her your stuff to leave them in your office and you walk to the pitwall. You take your seat and start catching up with the data in front of you as well as the programme for the last day of testing. You are alone at the pit wall with several Red Bull mechanics until Max and Christian join you.

“Glad you remembered to be here.” Christian tells you sarcastically

“Good morning to you too, dad.” you answer.

“What have I missed?” you ask

“Well not much, we only started like 10 minutes ago, you should be fine catching up” Max answers

“We did discuss some things that you didn’t listen to though.” Christian tells you

“If your plan is to make me mad, it is working. Please leave.” you tell him

“Okay I am leaving.” he turns to leave but turns back to you “Ah i forgot, you are doing press today, all of it, not just the f1 or just sky.”

“But what about the debrief? It is the final before the season opener, I have to be there”

“If you were here on time you would have been able to attend the debrief but sadly someone has to do press.”

You turn to look at the screens in front of you as Max sits right by your side

“What happened last night?” he asks

“You can’t imagine”

“Do I wanna know?” he says singing the song from Arctic Monkeys

“I did not sleep in my room last night…”

“TELL ME YOU DID NOT SLEEP WITH JACK THE MECHANIC” he yells at you whispering

“NO MAX FOR GOD’S SAKE” you reply with the same way “I did not sleep in the hotel in general” he looks at you with his mouth wide open showing his surprise

“Where the fuck did you sleep then?”

“The Ritz”

“Tell me you are not shagging someone from Mercedes.”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean not exactly?”

“You do remember everything Toto has said about me in the past month and in the last 3 days right?”

“You did not sleep with Toto Wolff did you?”

“No Max I didn’t.” he sighs feeling relieved “I slept in his room, in his bed to be exact.”

“WHAT?”

“I drank a lot and I just started thinking about how shit I am and how everyone thinks I don’t deserve to be here. So I went to the Ritz to see Toto and tell him to stop saying all that bullshit to the press. I went there and then something happened. So I slept in his bed, woke up today and came here.”

“What happened?”

“Look Max, I have a huge memory gap of the night and scenes just come back to my mind. I just remember that I told him whatever I had to and then he didn’t let me go back.”

“Okay I’ll be right here if you need to tell me anything.” Max tells you.

For the rest of the time you keep reading data taking notes that you would normally take during the debrief. You won’t be there but you might as well do the work you would do in other cases. Checo comes into the pits, the team tries different setups once again, for the last time for this year you are doing your testing programme. Time passes by and you still get some scenes from last night, Toto telling you not to go back to the hotel at this state and persuading you to sleep in his hotel and you passing out earlier but still the night did not have a logical flow in your mind. The 3 hours of the last day of testing are done and you get ready to go to the media pen for your press duties.

“I will see you later Maxy?” you tell him

“Yes of course, I will be waiting.”

You do Sky and Canal+ just before your official F1 interview. You check your email for details.

Group 3 15.30

Mercedes AMG F1

Red Bull Racing

McLaren

Of course they would pair Red Bull and Mercedes with McLaren. You would have to put up with this for a second time in three days. You go to the press conference room where Will is and you take the middle seat like the last time. You wait for Zak and Toto to arrive to begin your interview.

“Hello everyone” Zak says as he walks in the room alongside Toto

“Hello Zak, Mr Wolff.” you say

“Miss Horner, hello.” Toto replies

“Are we ready to start?” Will asks and the three of you nod

“We have here the 3 team representatives to talk about the pre-season testing, now that we are done, what are your impressions of your cars, the new regulations and the new rules? Let’s hear from Ms. Horner first.”

“We are happy with our car, we are in a position where we know where we can be and what we can challenge for. We still have some ideas on how to improve the car for Australia but our main package is what is currently in our garages and on the track. The new car regulations changed many things in the way we operate. Whether those regulations will help us to make races more interesting and keep the pack closer we will find out on the first race. For now, in Red Bull, we will keep working towards our goals and hopefully we can achieve them.” you reply

Will moves on to Zak but you can’t even keep up with what he’s saying. Your headache is suddenly so bad that you feel a growing dizziness. Zak finishes with his answer and Toto starts his as you hear his voice you have flashbacks from yesterday. You going to the hotel, bribing Sharon, going to his room to confront him, starting to tell him everything that his comments made you feel. And then there’s a clear picture of you pinned in the wall and him closer to you than he’s ever been. And then you kissing him, him kissing back. This can’t be true. You remember blacking out and being woken up by him, and then the fighting about you staying at the Ritz. Every single thing about yesterday comes back to your mind. What the fuck? You actually fucking kissed him?

“Ms Horner, do you want to reply?” Will asks but you haven’t heard a word from him

“Um, excuse me, would you repeat the question please?” you tell him while your dizziness is getting worse. Toto turns to you and whispers

“Are you okay?” he looks concerned.

“No, not really. I am not feeling very good.” you tell him and he tells someone to get a glass of water. You try to reply to Will's question as he hands you the water. You try to calm down and focus on the job you were doing as best as you can. If Christian sees this after today's morning you are going to be dead. You keep up with the questions and the answers feeling slightly better. When the press conference ends you stand up to leave for the Media Pen again to complete your interviews. Before you can even leave the room Toto comes by your side. You stop walking and look at him, he stops right by your side.

"Look, I am really sorry for upsetting you last night by coming to your hotel room. I was drunk and insecure and I had no right to come and tell you how to make statements." You tell him looking at him.

"You were not wrong to be honest. I was quite harsh, you are a first timer here and I had to be supportive. I am an asshole."

"Everything you planned for today morning tells me otherwise. I mean you might not be a Saint but you are definitely a bit less of an asshole than I thought."

"Oh the breakfast and all that was practically nothing, you were drunk as you said, a hangover needs some resting." He replies

"And also, I don't want you to take seriously anything that I've done yesterday."

"Like?" He tells you with a smug face

"Like me kissing you?"

"You remember." He says looking surprised.

"Yes I remember, I did not know what I was doing, alcohol was doing the talking here." You tell him

"Didn't seem like it was totally out of control, Miss Horner. Plus you told me you knew what you were doing. It wasn’t like a drunk you took over and then the normal you came back.”

“ I am not discussing it here with all of those people passing by.” you tell him trying to avoid the conversation you were definitely not ready to have.

“I would like to but anyway. Just remember I was taken a bit by surprise as well. ” he tells you

“I remembered what happened last night during the interview.”

“I figured it out, you were ready to pass out again.”

“Thanks for the water.”

“It was really nothing.” he replies

You look at him unsure of what is happening in this conversation

“Why are you being nice to me? Last night, today?”

“You asked me to, right?” he asks you

“Yes I did but you don’t have to do what I want. Just go back to not liking me.” you laugh

“You won’t tell me what to do young lady.” he laughs “Gotta go, I have to be in the debrief. Don’t you?” he asks

“No, dad made me do all the press today as a punishment for being late. No debrief for me.”

“Good luck dealing with the post debrief notes.”

“Thanks, I’ll need it.” you say and you turn to leave for the media pen.

For the rest of the day you keep answering questions for reporters all over the world, either small or bigger broadcasters and blogs. When you finish your duties you go back to the Red Bull hospitality which is starting to empty and you close the door to your office. You sit in your chair and you pour yourself a drink. They say that a hangover passes if you drink another alcoholic drink right?. You scroll in your phone and you see the texts from your friends

Sara 14.47

‘Bestie are you ok? I saw your press and you looked terrible. I haven’t heard from you since yesterday. Call or text if you find some time.’

Lizzie 12.34

‘Just opened the TV, you look on fire as always girl, I hope that car of yours is fast because I’m ready for many celebrations.’

You reply to them and to your group chat, and then just relax in your office looking at your socials and taking a look at the notes from the session earlier. Your chill out time is interrupted by a knock on the door.

“You may come in” you say and the door opens with Max standing outside the office.

“You didn’t learn from yesterday did you?” he laughs

“They say hangover passes with hangover now that’s what I am doing.” you say. You take one deep breath. “Max, I remembered what happened yesterday. It was during the press conference. I almost passed out when I realized it.”

“Spill the tea.”

“Well, I left the restaurant in a taxi and as we were on that huge highway I started feeling so small and meaningless, then all of the details about how I am letting everyone down came to my mind, and then Toto. I had to see him and tell him that his statements are making me feel like shit and that he should stop so I asked the driver to change the destination to the Ritz. I arrived there and it was empty so I went to the reception and asked for Toto’s hotel room.”

“You fucking asked a receptionist to give you their clients personal info?”

“Yes and she told me she couldn’t do this due to policy.”

“Well surprise,” he tells you ironically.

“And then I took my check book out and gave her money to give me his information.”

“YOU DID WHAT?” he yells

“Will you shut up? I have to continue now.” you reply “So she agreed and gave me his room number, I went there knocked on the door and he answered it obviously. So I started crying and told him that he has no right to make me feel like shit, that he is pretentious and that he doesn’t know how to lose.”

“And?”

“And he got mad and pinned me against a wall.”

“Did you punch the guy? Tell me you did, I wanted to do this for so long, his face is just so punchab-”

“I kissed him” you interrupt him

“Excuse me?” he asks you, face full of doubt

“I fucking kissed Wolff Max”

“Why the hell did you do this?” he tells you looking in despair

“I don’t know, I was drunk and pinned against the wall with the guy just centimeters away from my face.” you tell him

“He’s the fucking rival you idiot. Why did you do this? Do you like him?”

“No Max. I mean I haven’t thought about it but generally no.”

“What happened next? Tell me you didn’t shag him.”

“I realized what I did and then I passed out for a while. He caught me and carried me to the bed and then tried to wake me up.”

“And?”

“And I woke up and told him I would leave but he wouldn’t let me so I slept on his bed and him on the couch.”

“At least you were wise about that.”

“Today I woke up and he had ordered breakfast before he left.”

“You do realize that what you are telling me is not healthy at all right?”

“I know, would you just let me live my life?” you say “He left me a full Mercedes outfit for me to leave the hotel without being seen. I have one of his Mercedes shirts in a bag in my hotel room.”

“You are fucking crazy you know that?” Max laughs

“I know, Max. What happened is in the past, I am moving forward, into the first race we go."

"Just don't keep doing crazy things. Wanna go grab a bite or some coffee?"

"Yeah but I am flying at 9 so I have to be at the airport a bit earlier than that."

"I will be leaving at 7, I will leave straight after our coffee. Do you want to join?"

"Thanks but I told Christian I would fly with him today and he wouldn't be happy if I canceled, especially today. Besides, aren't you flying to monaco?"

"I am but I if you decide to come I would come to Milton Keynes for some sim work"

"Thank you but dad will be waiting so…" you tell him

"Shall we go?"

You stand up and grab your stuff as Max opens the door. Both of you exit the motor home of Red Bull and walk in the paddock greeting people you know. You get in the car as the photographers remaining take pictures of you and you drive to the restaurant Max proposed.

You get there, you and Max sit on a table for 2 and enjoy your dinner. You discuss many things, most of them not race related and the time passes quickly.

"I've gotta go, I have my pilots waiting for me on the jet. Are you sure you are not coming?"

"Yess Max, thank you very much. You can go."

"We have to pay first." He laughs

"This one's on me. Go''

"Thank you so much" he says and he gives you a hug "See you in Monaco or Milton Keynes."

"See ya idiot." You reply.

You see Max leaving the restaurant and ask for the bill. You pay for everything you and Max took and you leave the restaurant yourself. You drive to the hotel and go back to your suite. You pack your stuff for your flight, including that bag with the Mercedes gear from earlier, which is in two hours or so and you spend the remaining time just chilling in your suite, knowing that you will be coming back to this place in a few weeks time. About one hour before your scheduled meeting with your dad on the jet you check out of the hotel. You know that the ride to the airport is roughly 30 minutes with traffic and then passing security will take you like 10 minutes, so you will be 10 minutes early. Christian will be happy. You drive to the airport and leave your car to the designated area. You head in the airport and pass security with the time being just as you calculated. Once you are ready to go to the private jet waiting lounge and you walk to the gate to go to your jet where Christian is waiting.

“Your name and destination?” the airport employee asks

“Horner. I am flying to England, my father is already in the jet.” you say ready to pass the gate

“I am afraid the jet has already left.”

“Excuse me?” What the hell is this shit? Christian was supposed to wait.

“I thought your dad had informed you that he left earlier because of some urgent job in Oxford, the plane took off like 5 minutes ago.”

“Okay thank you very much. Can I wait here to schedule my flight to go back home?”

“Yes of course. The next commercial flight to England is in two hours fyi.” he tells you trying to help

“Thank you.”

You leave the gate and sit in those awfully comfortable armchairs of the jet lounge. You text Christian.

You

What the hell was that?

Christian ‘Dad’ Horner

Sorry?

You

You fucking left me in the airport in Bahrain.

Christian ‘Dad’ Horner

It was urgent i had to go

You

You could have at least fucking called me, I was literally in security

Christian ‘Dad’ Horner

Look, it is important, if i called you we would lose another 30 minutes

You

So you decided to just leave me here without telling me and now I have to take a commercial flight back home which is in 2 fucking hours.

Christian ‘Dad’ Horner

I guess we are on equal terms right now

You

You did this because I was late today?

Wow dad, I thought we were well past the time you were 5

Don’t text me back, I am angry and I have to deal with this, I will see you in England.

You start looking at flights to England and try to figure out which ones suit you the best. Most of them are booked but there are a couple of tickets left. You select the seat you wanted to book and reach for your bags to get your credit card. As you find your wallet in that mess of a bag that you have you look up. You see Toto coming into the lounge area giving his name to the employee on the gate and then talking with him, probably settling details. He turns and walks towards the armchairs when he spots you. With a surprised face he walks to you.

“It seems like we can’t run away from each other those last 3 days.” he laughs

“I always see you in front of me, are you stalking me or something?” you joke

“I have better things to do, I have to confess.” he tells you “Are you waiting for your flight?” he asks

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Kinda what?”

“I was supposed to fly with my dad but he decided that he had something urgent that couldn’t wait for 5 minutes for me to get in that jet. Max left earlier. So I am booking a commercial flight which leaves in 2 hours. I am not even supposed to be here.” You tell him, showing him your wallet and booking page.

“Where are you going? Monaco or Oxford?”

“I am supposed to go to Oxford.”

“I am flying to England myself, the jet will be ready in like 10 minutes.”

“Weird flex but okay.” you say

“No, what I wanted to say is whether you want to join me on my flight or just wait for another 2 hours for the commercial one.”

“Is this really possible?”

“Yeah, I am traveling alone so you can join me.”

“You are a lifesaver. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.” he answers as he sits down in the armchair next to you and he keeps himself busy doing the same. You text Max to tell him about what happened.

You

I am guessing I should have come with you when you asked me to

Max Emillian Verstappen

What happened?

You

Christian had something urgent back in England and he had to go literally 5 minutes before I boarded the jet

Max ‘Emilian’ Verstappen.

Sounds like something that Christian would do after today. I am sure it wasn’t on purpose.

You

I am not so sure though

Max ‘Emilian’ Verstappen

What are you going to do now?

You

I have an alternative

Max Emilian Verstappen

Commercial?

When you are ready to type your answer to Max you hear Toto calling your name

“Jet’s ready, we can go.” he says as he stands up and gets his luggage, you do the same and you follow him to the gate exit where he gives his name once again. You exit the lounge and a black Mercedes is outside to get you to the place where the jet is. He opens the back seat door and you go in. He closes the door and sits in the front seat. The ride to the jet takes no more than 4 minutes and you sit in silence trying to realize what is happening. The black Mercedes stops in front of a jet, which is bigger than the one you are usually using with your dad, and you reach for the door but before you can open it Toto does it for you. You step outside and wait to get your bags from the trunk.

“They are going to have them loaded on the jet, let’s go.” He tells you and he leads the way to the jet’s stairs which you carefully climb since you got your high heels on.

You get inside and leave your bags on one of the empty seats while Toto is talking to the pilots in the cockpit. You sit in the seat you chose and wait for your rival to come to the cabin. He ends his conversation with the pilots and turns to the cabin where he sees you sitting.

“I might have been kind enough to propose a flight to England but I am afraid I have to ask you to switch seats.” he tells you

“Why is that so?”

“Well, that’s my seat” he says with his infamous smug face that you so much hate

“I really need to go to England so I will do you a favor.” you answer and you stand up to sit in the seat opposite to the one you were sitting. He leaves his bag and sits where you were sitting before, being totally calm and chill. You relax yourself, the cabin door closes and the jet starts moving. You remember you had to answer to Max.

You take your phone and snap a picture of the plane, making sure Toto is in the frame and that he is totally recognizable. You press send.

“I hope there won’t be a picture of me in my jet all over your socials.”

“I just sent it to Max”

“You two seem to be quite close.”

“We are indeed” you tell him smiling

Max Emilian Verstappen

You are an idiot

I am blocking you

Is this a joke?

You promised you wouldn’t do anything stupid

You

I am not doing anything stupid, I was just in the jet lounge and he came and offered me a ride. It’s not like I would sit and wait for like another 2 hours.

Gotta go, I’ll come back to you later

The plane starts accelerating and before you can even understand it you are up in the air. Toto looks out of the window lost in his thoughts.

“You want something to drink?” he asks

“I was literally drunk yesterday night.”

“Yeah you are right. Let me know if you need anything though.”

“Tough day at the track?” you ask

“If you start talking about racing, cars and F1 I will throw you out of this plane and I’m not even joking.”

“What do you want to talk about then?”

“Tell me about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Something apart from the fact that you are annoying as hell and that you get drunk and go to people’s hotel rooms.”

“There’s pretty much nothing interesting about me. I was born into the Horner family so I’ve grown up in the paddocks. I love what I am doing and I love traveling. I adore good music and movies and I am obsessed with wearing high heels even when I can’t even walk like right now. I have a French Bulldog back in Oxford named Peanut and I drive an Aston Martin although I always wanted a Mercedes. I wanted to study engineering but also loved management. I have this bracelet that all of my friends gave me and it is my lucky charm so I can’t go anywhere without it. And as you understand I talk a lot. That’s me.”

“Well you know we spend so much time trying to get to each other's heads and we never get to know our rival. This was enlightening.”

“What about you?”

“Nothing you haven’t heard of. I was born in Vienna but my Parents are Polish and Romanian. I lost my dad when I was young and it left a scar on me since I was a kid. I’ve been kicked out of a French school because we weren’t able to pay the tuition. I speak five languages and I love learning new things. Finance has always been my love and combining it with racing is making me a really happy person. That’s all”

“Interesting.” you say as you look outside the plane door suddenly you start laughing

“What is it ?” he asks wondering if you have gone crazy

“My university professors would kill me if they heard this conversation.”

“Why?”

“They would tell me this is a PR suicide. You never reveal your true self to your rival because they will crush you using what you’ve told them.”

“What exactly would I use against you for PR? That you love wearing those high heels or that you always wanted to drive a Mercedes?”

You laugh, “Honestly, I don't know.”

“well then i promise you that this conversation will stay in this jet”

You turn a bit to the side and let the lack of sleep of the past days take over.

Four and a half hours later you wake up. You open your eyes and you see the seat across you empty. You turn around and see that nobody is in the jet. What the hell? Did you dream the whole thing? You stand up and yell his name. Some seconds later he emerges from a door in the back of the cabin.

“Oh you woke up.”

“Omg sorry for interrupting you I just thought I dreamt all about this.”

“No, I was just in the toilet. And you definitely didn’t dream of this.”

“Where are we?”

“We will arrive in about an hour. Do you have anyone to take you home?”

“No but I will probably take a taxi.”

“Okay, I will drive you home.”

“No you don’t have to do this, a taxi will work just fine Toto.”

“I am not discussing this.” he glares at you

“Whatever” you say and sit on his seat making him angry.

For the rest of the flight you chat with Max and listen to some music while chilling. You start feeling the jet going down as you prepare for the landing. You check yourself with the camera of your phone making sure everything is okay for the outside world to see and you await for your touchdown to Oxford.

The plane lands, you remain seated and you turn off flight mode from your phone as you come to a complete stop.

You had 3 Missed Calls from Christian ‘Dad’ Horner

Of course he felt bad and he wanted to talk to you

“We will wait for a while to get the car outside the jet so we can leave immediately.” he tells you and you nod in agreement. You stand up and go to the cockpit door. You knock on it and you hear someone approaching. One of the two pilots opens the door.

“Hello, how was your flight?” he asks

“It was really nice. In fact that’s why I came here. I wanted to thank you for the flight today. It was great.”

“Thank you very much, it is not every day that you get to fly ladies like you.” he smiles at you

Coincidentally at this very time Toto comes to you with his hands full of your stuff

“We are leaving.” he tells you handing you your blazer

“Mike, thank you for the flight.” he says and shows you the way. You walk down the stairs and there’s another black Mercedes waiting for you

“Welcome Mr. Wolff, here are your keys.” one of the airport employees says

“Thank you very much” he grabs his keys and opens his door. He gets in and you walk to the other side of the car doing the same.

“Where are we going?” he asks

Without answering you navigate through the Mercedes’ panel and use the GPS putting your address in it.

“Drive” you tell him and he chuckles.

He drives the car and you leave the airport. The ride is too quiet so you reach for your phone and connect it to the car's sound system. Him looking at you while you are doing it. You put on a chill playlist to play in the background.

“That Mike pilot, he was nice.” you say

“He’s just learning. Did you like him?”

“I just said he was nice.” you laugh thinking about how he sounded jealous but you are probably just making this up

The rest of the ride continues in silence apart from your playlist playing in the background. The car comes to a stop and you take off your seatbelt, opening the door to get out. You go to the back of the car to get your luggage but as soon as you get there Toto opens the trunk and takes all of your bags out of the car.

“Thank you very much for this, I owe you one.” you tell him

“It was really not a big deal, you needed help and I helped you. It’s not that I hate you as much as you think I do.”

“So you hate me but less?” you ask him

“Do not put words I didn’t say in my mouth. You don’t know what I meant.”

“Well, will you tell me?”

“Nope, goodnight.” he tells you trying to break out of it

“Come onnnnn” you whine

“See you in Australia.” he tells you

“Thanks for everything Toto.”

You get in the garden and walk towards the entrance. There’s not a single light open. You get in quietly pulling your stuff in. Suddenly the light opens.

“Who was that?” Christian asks you

“A friend.” you reply trying to cover everything.

“How did you get here?”

“I flew commercial. Changed 2 flights. I am so tired I just want to go to sleep.” you tell him

“Mercedes has something sketchy on the car. We are thinking of protesting it. Adrian says we might get something out of it. That’s what happened before I left you in Bahrain.”

“And?”

“And it seems like the war has already started.”

Indeed the war has already started but today showed you that it might be a little different than you thought. Keeping everything in mind you go to your room, leave your bags and fall asleep.

[genshinwritings]

Childe x fem!Reader NSFW

Word Count: 6108 Warning: Mature Content 18+, spicy smut A/N: It was so long so I decided to make an own post for this request. I’ve been staring at my screen for the last 7 hours, my brain is dead now, hahah. I don’t own any of those words anymore as soon as I post it--- just joking Enjoy it! ♥

                                                                                                                              Liyue was a beautiful city to say the least, always crowded with different people, full of culture and there was always something new for you to learn every day. Most people were staying in the city for only a few days, perhaps because of business appointments or just to visit their family which lived there, yet you rarely saw the same face twice. Within only a few days you had gotten to know all the people that lived there or those who were visiting Liyue for a longer time.

You had been assigned to look for a certain person in Liyue but up until now they hadn’t shown up, leaving you with a lot of free time and almost nothing to do. You spent most of your day simply strolling through the city with nothing to do, greeting the different people here and there, before returning to your hotel room the evening.

A few weeks ago you had met Childe, a member of the Fatui. You had been careful around him since the day you found out about his affiliations, not wanting to get too close to him. After spending some time with him you really had to admit that he seemed like a nice and outgoing man which caused you to lower your walls of self defense. He had been staying in the city for a longer time as well and since everyone usually disappeared again after two or three days, the two of you decided to stay in contact, just in case.

You noticed him often waiting in front of the hotel you were staying in and whenever you went out, he would instantly be by your side with his usually flirty grin on his lips. He would make a remark about how destiny keeps pushing you two together, though you knew that it was nothing like that.

Over the past couple weeks he had often asked you to go on a date with him but you had always told him that you’re not interested in a relationship or anything like that, you simply did not have the time for it. He would always smile cheekily and brush it off like you had not said anything at all before taking you somewhere to get some food.

In the end it would always end up the same, before you even have a chance to ask for the bill, the waiter will tell you that your partner already paid for you. Childe will smile cheekily at you before wrapping his arm around your shoulders and leading you out of the restaurant.

Whenever you tell him that he should not make anything up in his mind, he will laugh and tell you that he would never do something like that and that it’s you who should be careful not to fall for him. You almost hated yourself for liking this guy; he was a flirty narcissist but at the same time an utterly lovable and romantic man. The way he was talking and acting around you won you over every time.

Childe has always treated you like a princess, causing your feelings for him to grow even stronger, even though you always told yourself that it was a mistake.

Your day started off like any other day, you got up and went out to grab a cup of coffee at the harbour before strolling around and returning back to the hotel in the evening.

A faint smile formed on your lips upon seeing Childe already waiting for you in front of the building as you arrived. “You’re always missing me so much, aren’t you?” You said with a teasing voice while approaching him, a small chuckle leaving your lips.

Ocean colored eyes focused on yours, a cheeky smile forming on Childe’s lips upon hearing your words as he lightly shrugged his shoulders. “Aren’t you sure that you’re not the one who’s missing me all day?” He replied just as teasingly while tilting his head to the side, looking innocently down at you.

He already knew that he was right because of the way your cheeks colored in a light pink and the way you tried to avoid his eyes. “Stupid..” You muttered as you gently nudged his shoulder before sighing defeated, signaling him to follow you as you walked towards the entrance of the hotel.

The lobby was crowded as usual in the evening. Many people would arrive in Liyue in the evening or at night with the ship and look for a place to stay in, mostly resulting in the city being fuller during the night than during daytime. You were happy that you had been staying at this hotel for a while now, you knew all the people who worked there and everybody knew you, it was almost like a second home to you.

When you and Childe reached the elevator you pressed the button for your assigned floor while another sigh left your lips as you leaned back against the wall. “I somehow love Liyue for being so crowded at night but at the same time, I kinda hate it.” You mumbled while looking up at Childe who was standing behind you, leaning back against the wall as well while staring up at the ceiling.

“It’s good when it’s full and crowded, people tend to mind their own business then and won’t get involved with anything else.” He replied calmly while shrugging his shoulders, pushing his hands into the back pockets of his pants.

You never got to know the exact reason why Childe was staying in Liyue, you had never asked him about it but you also got the feeling that if you were honest with yourself you would not want to know about it. Being a member of the Fatui and all, his reason to stay here could never be a good one.

You were startled when a small ‘ping’ signaled you that you had arrived at the tenth floor, the doors of the elevator opening. You went out first, feeling Childe’s presence close behind you as you slowly trotted over to the door of your room, your fingers fumbling around in your pockets as you were looking for the keycard.

“Why are you even here now? Couldn’t find me in town in the afternoon?” You asked Childe playfully as you unlocked the door, gesturing him to walk in first before following him inside.

You kicked the door shut behind you before taking off your jacket and throwing it over the next chair that was standing around.

Childe watched you amusedly as you made your way to the kitchen, taking out two glasses from the counter before placing them in front of you. “Do you want to drink something?” You asked him while holding up a bottle of Dandelion wine, a mischevious smile on your lips. It was the only thing you were able to offer him besides normal water, you were living on your own the whole time and that clearly showed when looking at your belongings and provisions. “It would be a shame to deny that offer.” He laughed lightly as he entered the kitchen behind you, leaning against the counter while watching you pour the glasses of wine.

“Other than that I’m here because… I don’t know. I guess, I thought it would be more fun to spend some time with you rather than sit alone in my hotel room all night. Perhaps I also knew that it was your plan to drink some wine today and perhaps it’s not very gentleman like to let a woman drink on her own.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, laughing at his comment before turning towards him, handing him a glass of wine. His eyes deeply focused on yours.

You could swear that you saw a glint in his eyes, a playful one which was practically begging for you to continue his game. “I see, I see. Since when are you a gentleman though?”

“I’ve always been a gentleman, have I ever done anything to you that would prove me different?”

You took a sip of your wine, gently laughing it off. Indeed he had never done anything that would make him look like an asshole; he was always nice around you and treated you for food, he always made sure that you were feeling good and happy and at night he always made sure to walk you home.

The only not so gentleman like thing that came to your mind was Childe sometimes suggesting you to ‘go and have some fun together’ in the evening or late at night, even though he had never showed any intention of getting closer to you.

You were suspecting before that he was always joking during those moments, but with time passing you noticed him occasionally making remarks like that, intending that he wanted to become more physical with you.

You were absentmindedly sipping on your wine, a small shock running down your spine when Childe’s arm wrapped around your waist. He was guiding you towards the balcony that was connected to your room, opening the glass door before stepping out into the cold night air, pulling you along with him. Underneath you were crowded streets, lots of people passing by while the shoplights illuminated the small town. Liyue had it’s own charm, you had to admit that.

You swirled the wine around in your glass while biting your lower lip, thinking about an accurate response to his question. “I think you somehow are a gentleman but.. at the same time you aren’t?”

You shrugged your shoulders, taking another sip of your wine as you heard Childe’s footsteps behind you. You were expecting him to stand next to you, to watch the people beneath you but instead you were startled when you felt his hot breath at the nape of your neck. Gently he swung his arms around you from behind, one hand holding his glass while he placed his other hand on the railing in front of you.

“Care to explain that..?” Childe spoke with a low voice, faking a confused undertone before pressing a faint kiss to the crook of your neck.

“I’m always courteous when I’m around you, I never do anything you don’t like…”

You could feel his hot breath on your ear, a cold shiver running down your spine as his tongue traced the shell of your ear. “It’s just..” You started to whisper, swallowing your words as he nibbled gently on your earlobe, his addicting scent rising to your nose.

“You are a gentleman..” You started again, taking a careful sip of your wine before continuing to speak. “… but you’re also intimidating, mysterious and somehow a dangerous person.”

“I see..” Childe laughed softly before leaning himself against you, your back pressing against his broad chest while your abdomen pressed against the cold railing. He took a sip of his wine, his other hand slowly wandering to your waist.

He enjoyed your clueless reaction, the way you did not do anything to stop him and the way your body shivered against his. The effect he had on you was immense and he certainly knew that, he loved playing little games with you.

You took a deep breath before turning around in his arms, staring up into his sapphire colored eyes. There was this glint inside them, the one that always showed when he was about to make a stupid joke about getting physical, yet it was different this time. He did not say anything, he simply stared down at you before his free hand cupped your cheek gently.

“Are you afraid of me right now?” He asked you huskily, his thumb carefully brushing over your lips while he smirked evilly. Everything inside you was screaming not to give in, that it’s wrong to get to close to him, but your body and the building desire inside you were taking control. There was a faint blush on your cheeks as you tried to avoid his eyes, him quickly reacting to catch your chin between his thumb and index finger to make you look at him.

“I asked you, are you afraid of me?”

Childe leaned in closer to you, slowly tilting his head to the side while his lips hovered right above yours. You could feel his breath on your face as the he spoke, your knees slowly turning weak as you thought about how to frame your answer. “Right now, I could never. There is no reason for me to be afraid.”

He chuckled. “If you knew what I would like to do to you right now, you would be afraid, I’m sure, babe.” The way that petname slipped over his lips made you moan quietly against his mouth. It send a tingly feeling right down to your core, leaving you wanting for more.

Upon hearing that sound Childe withdrew himself from you, gently taking your glass from your hand before moving to place them aside. You felt the heat rushing to your face as he turned back to you, both of his hands gently placed on your waist while he stared down at you.

You could feel your heartbeat drumming in your ears as you tried to avoid his eyes, your hands gripping onto the railing behind you to gain some strength of posture. You faked a small laugh, wanting him to know that you were not this easy to break, even though you certainly craved for him to touch you.

“I don’t think there’s anything that would make me be afraid of you, Sir.” You spoke teasingly, making sure to emphasize the last word.  Inhaling deeply you searched for the courage to stare back up at him, a small innocent smile forming on your lips.

Childe couldn’t help but to smile as well, he was seeing right through your schemes, knowing all too well that you were playing all this confidence in front of him. The way your body reacted to him, the way he could easily make you feel bothered and worked up, he knew that he had this effect on you and he would love to play a game with you, especially because he noted that challenging undertone when you addressed his title.

His hands slowly wandered from your waist down to grab your butt firmly in his hands, his body pressing against yours again. His building arousal pressed against your lower abdomen as he leaned slowly closer to whisper in your ear again. “I would love to turn you around right now and rub my cock against that nice perky ass of yours..”

He squeezed your butt again, pressing a small kiss to the shell of your ear. “I would love to bend you over this railing and fuck you hard, til you can’t help but to scream my name anymore, letting all those people down there know it.”

You felt yourself shivering, his words echoing through your body and leaving a trail of desire behind. His words translated to an image in your mind right away, the thought of getting caught looking oh so seductive to you. “There’s still nothing to be afraid of..” You teased him, one of his hands sliding up to your lower back while his other hand cupped your cheek gently again.

He pulled himself from your ear to look at you, his lips brushing gently over yours as he smiled, his face only centimeters apart from yours. “You’re really asking for it, aren’t you?”

With those words he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours in a short kiss, a soft mewl leaving your lips as you did not even have the time to cherish that feeling of his lips on yours when he separated himself from you again.

Your placed your hands shakily on his chest, holding onto the fabric of his grey jacket as he laughed lowly, seeing all your confidence you faked a minute ago leaving your body already. “I want to know how good your lips feel around my cock.. which sounds you make when I fuck your throat relentless. I bet you’re such a good girl but right now you’re just too stubborn.”

You licked your lips at the thought of it, your reaction not staying unnoticed by him as his lifted your chin up with his index finger to make you look at him. “I want to break you..” He whispered lowly before slamming his lips against yours for a sloppy and passionate kiss, his arousal rubbing against your lower body as you pressed yourself against him to intensify the kiss.

The way his tongue skillfully poked your lips apart caused you to moan, your fingers starting to fumble around with the buttons of his jacket. His taste was addicting, the way his tongue caressed yours as he dominated the kiss. Carefully he slung an arm around your waist, his other hand sliding from your chin over your throat down to your chest. You were willing to let yourself fall into pleasure, to give in to him and you knew that if you did not stop him now, there would be no going back anymore.

Childe pulled away from you shortly to take a breath, watching your hands undo the buttons with a grin on his lips. “Eager, aren’t we?”

He let you continue with your actions as he moved to press small kisses on your neck, another small moan leaving your lips as your hands finally found their way to his bare chest. Your fingers ghosted over his well toned muscles, his skin burning underneath your palms.

His breath hitched as your fingers wandered over his chest, towards his broad shoulders, gently pushing the fabric back. You could feel him grin against your neck, his hands letting go of you to help you get rid of his jacket along with his gloves. A small yelp slipped past your lips as Childe bit down on the soft skin at the crook of your neck, his hands slinging around your body again to hold you close.

His warm skin was burning against you and the only thing that was running through your mind was the thought of what his bare form felt like against yours, what it felt like to get touched by him, to get dominated.

Your hands shivered as they went to explore his broad shoulders, his muscles constricting underneath your touch. You couldn’t help but to moan, knowing that all this was still part of his teasing. “Childe..” You murmured but he didn’t react, gently sucking on the skin of your neck. You were sure that he was leaving a hickey, one that you would surely have to hide but at the moment you couldn’t care less.

“Sir..” You spoke with a shaking his voice, his teeth sinking in to your flesh again before he groaned lowly in your ear. “That’s right, call me Sir.” His hands found their way to your butt again, firmly squeezing your rear before he lifted you up against him. A surprised sound left your lips as your legs wrapped around his middle, his eyes focusing on yours as he smirked.

The way he was looking right now was so utterly sexy to you, lusty eyes glancing up at you, his hair slightly messy and his upper body bare. You leaned in to catch his lips in another seductive kiss as Childe slowly walked back inside with you, making sure not to break the kiss. He made his way towards the bed that was placed in middle of the open room, throwing you on the mattress in front of him.

He licked his lips while watching you as you crawled to the edge of the bed, carefully sitting on your knees as you glanced up at him with innocent eyes. “What can I do for you, Sir..?”

Childe gently caressed your cheek, his thumb brushing over your lips as he absentmindedly spoke to you. “Open up that pretty mouth of yours.”

The way he spoke, low and huskily send another spark through your body, leaving you hot and bothered while a needy moan left your lips.

You tried rubbing your thighs together to gain some kind of friction as you opened your mouth, complying to his words like a decent girl. “What a good girl you are..” He whispered while holding out his index and middle finger in front of you, his other hand sliding over your cheek. “Now suck them..”

Slowly you leaned forward to wrap your lips around his finger, the light salty taste making you moan. Your tongue swirled around his dry fingers as you slowly started to move your head back and forth, never breaking the eye contact as you tried to take them in as deep as possible. “Oh, aren’t you a good one?”

Childe spoke amused before laughing shortly. The power he had when it came to you gave him an insane pleasure and the way you were complying to his demands left him almost speechless. Though there was still one thing that was bothering him big time. He pulled his fingers from your mouth, his voice harsh as he spoke. “Take your clothes off. Now. “

You were shivering in anticipation, wanting to feels his hands on your body again or his fingers in your mouth but you knew that this was only the beginning.

You rubbed your thighs together while slowly grabbing the hem of your shirt, your cheeks flushing in a crimson red shade as you slowly pulled it up and over your head. Childe’s eyes lingered on you, watching your actions oh so carefully as he bit down on his lip.

You were so turned on by him and so was he, his pants becoming immensely uncomfortable as he watched you undoing your bra. You let the piece of fabric slide down from your shoulders, your nipples hardening due to the surrounding cold as you tossed the bra away.

“Fuck..” You heard Childe mumble under his breath as he slowly stepped closer to the bed. He pressed his hands against your shoulders and forcefully pushed you down against the mattress, one of his knees pressing between your legs so you spread them open for him, while his lips hovered above yours.

“You’re wasting so much fucking time.. but it’s so nice to watch. I’ve imagined this before..” He spoke lowly while placing is hand on the side of your breasts, pressing against the skin to make them jiggle in his hands.

“But seeing it in reality is so much better, don’t you think?” His thumbs brushed over your perky nipples, sending a shock right down to your core as a throaty moan slipped past your lips. His lips pressed against yours gently to make you shut up, his hands kneading your soft mounds as his tongue invaded your mouth.

You couldn’t help but to groan softly as he ground his hips against yours firmly, the friction making you feel lightheaded as you instantly wrapped your legs around his middle. Childe pulled away from you, his breathing heavy as he pressed a small kiss to your collarbone before moving to face your breasts.

“So soft.. and beautiful.” He whispered lowly while rubbing his thumb over your sensitive nipple, teasing your other breasts with his tongue. Sensually he swirled his tongue around your hardened bud before sucking it into his mouth, lightly nibbling on it before releasing it again.

Your back arched up, your bare tummy pressing against his chest as you moaned loudly, a light chuckle leaving his lips. He pushed you back down against the mattress with his free hand, biting down on your nipple again while pressing his hips against yours. “Sir…” You muttered incoherently, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders as he moved his mouth to suck on your other nipple, nibbling on biting on the skin while his hands keeps pressing you down.

You yelped from the pain upon him becoming harsher with his bites and nibbles, your hips rolling up against his to somehow make him move. “What do you want..” He whispered against your skin, lustful eyes staring at you while he squeezed your chest.

Slowly he scooted up to sensually lick over your lips, a small groan leaving his lips as you darted out your tongue to meet his. You leaned in to kiss him but he was quick to pull away. He sat up in front of you, his hands sliding from your chest to your tummy down to your hips.

Skillfully he undid the button of your pants, smiling satisfied as you raised your hips without a need for his command. He grabbed the hem of your pants and underlying panties, carefully sliding them down your thighs in one go, humming softly as you raised your legs to help him take them off of you.

He watched you hungrily as you spread your legs wide in front of him, a small blush on your cheeks as you glanced into his eyes. “Touch me, Sir..”

You felt the burning desire pool in your stomach as you held your legs up high to give him a better view of your body, your eyes filling with a tint of neediness.

Slowly he reached out, his cold hand wandering down your lower body as you arched your back, moaning as his index finger came in contact with your clit. “Like this..?” He asked teasingly, sliding his fingers through your wet folds before inserting one finger inside you.

“Or do you want me to touch you like this..” Childe pushed his finger in and out of you slowly, a smile on his lips as he leaned down to flick his tongue against your clit. Your back arched as you moaned out his name loudly, your hands grabbing onto the soft fabric underneath you as you tried to scoot away from him.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He muttered and grabbed your hips quickly, throwing your legs over his shoulders while looking up at you. He leaned in again, his tongue sliding over your wet slit before he moved his hands closer again, this time inserting two fingers into your wetness.

He sucked on your clit, swirling his tongue around your most sensitive bud while quickly and forcefully thrusting his fingers in and out of you, wet sloppy sounds echoing through the room.

You screamed out in pleasure, tilting your head back as you felt yourself getting close to your release faster than ever. Normally it took you much longer than that to get this riled up but with Childe’s skilled fingers and mouth, it was as easy as sliding down a hole.

You closed your eyes shut, your womanhood clenching around his fingers as he quickly pulled himself away from you, leaving you gaping and gasping for air. Your body was shivering out of pleasure as you tried to somehow gain a relieving friction by rubbing your thighs together but Childe’s firm grip on your thighs was strong.  

He moved up from the bed while watching you lustfully, your eyes following his hands as they moved to unbutton his pants.

You were licking your lips eagerly while imagining the size of his cock and the way it would taste like in your mouth, crawling closer to the edge again with shaking legs. “Lay down on the edge, head down..” He grumbled while pushing his pants down to his ankles, quickly kicking them off while watching you.

Your eyes were focused on the bulge in his boxers, the way his member stood proud and tall against the fabric, leaving only a few things to your imagination. You quickly complied and rolled over on your back again, your head placed over the edge of the mattress as you glanced up at Childe while opening your mouth, sticking out your tongue playfully.

“Such a good girl, already opening up..” He muttered while pushing his boxers down to reveal his arousal to you, quickly managing to take them off before stepping closer to you. You licked your lips absentmindedly as you stared at his erected cock, standing proud in a curve,  a small drop of precum sliding from the tip down its shaft.

Childe moved closer to you, one of his hands gently placed at the back of your head as he pushed down his cock and inside your mouth. He groaned huskily, the feeling of your lips around his cock being so much better than he had imagined it before.

You tried to relax as he started to move his hips carefully back and forth to thrust in and out of your mouth, all the while staring at you. Your eyes became teary, your hands grabbing onto the soft sheets next to you. “You’re taking my cock in so nicely..” He mumbled while pulling out his cock almost completely from your mouth, chuckling as you quickly gasped for air. “What a good filthy slut you are.”

You moaned against his member as he thrusts himself completely in your mouth again, his movement slowly becoming rougher and harder with every thrust.

The way your throat vibrated against his arousal made him growl, the sounds of you choking on his dick being music to his ears. He quickened his pace, one of his hands slowly making its way to your throat, his fingers tenderly wrapping around your neck.

You mewled softly against his cock as he put pressure on his fingers, the feeling of him choking you sending a tingly feeling through your body. For him it was one of the best things he had ever felt, your mouth around his cock and the way your throat tightens when he chokes you.

You nudged his thighs as you tried to pull away from his touch, the need to breathe in fresh air becoming unbearable. As he released his hand from your throat, he pulled himself out of your mouth once completely, moaning due to the sight of you heavily breathing in front of him, your chest heaving quickly up and down.

The moment he released you you felt more than lightheaded, all the blood rushing back inside your brain as your insides clenched on nothing so hard it hurt. “Please..” You murmured defeated, your words only earning a small laugh from Childe. “Please what..?”

“Please, fuck me, Sir.” You spoke, looking up at him with tears eyes as you slowly crawled to sit on your knees again. The sight of you was more than beautiful to him, the way your lips were plump and swollen, your teary eyes from fucking your throat and the pleads that were leaving your mouth. He could have fallen for you right at that moment.

Gently, he cupped your cheeks in his hands to press a faint kiss to your lips, your body shivering from the excitement. Your skin was on fire, your core so sensitive that it just needed a light touch of his to make you cum right there. One of his hands wandered to your throat again as he pulled you up from the bed, his other hand slinging around your waist as he deepened the kiss while dragging you towards the door of the balcony.

His movements were growing impatient, his grip surely going to leave a mark on your throat tomorrow but you couldn’t care less. When the cold night air hit your bare body, a dry moan left your lips. Childe smiled against your lips before pulling away from the kiss, his hand sliding from your throat up the nape of your neck, before grabbing a handful of your hair, pulling you backwards.

“You’re such a good girl, you know that? I think everyone needs to see what a good girl I have right here.” You could feel the cold railing press up against your bare ass, as he yanked your hair back causing you mewl. “Leave that mouth open for me.” He whispered and you complied to him, your hands pressing against his chest as you looked up into his eyes, sticking out your tongue. He caressed your cheek gently before grinning, spitting in your mouth while watching you with lazy eyes.

You swallowed it before a small groan left you, the taste of his saliva being something that was addicting to you.

A small action that turned you on so much and made your legs shake. “Such a good girl.. Now to the fun.” He said, his voice almost sounding like he threat as he grabbed you by your hips, forcefully turning you around and pressing you against the railing.

You could see the crowded streets underneath you, lots of people passing by which could  possibly see you but your rational mind had left you long ago. “Sir, please give it to me..” You moaned out, not caring about your surroundings in any kind of way as you felt him move up behind you, his arousal pressing against your ass.

His hands moved to your butt again as he massaged each cheek, jiggling them around with his cock placed between them. “It’s really sad.. I’ve also imagined what it’s like to fuck that sweet little ass of yours.” Childe leaned closer so he could whisper in your ear, his breath hot and intoxicating. “But I guess, I’ll leave that for the next time.”

With those words his hands grabbed onto your hips, carefully positioning himself at your entrance before eagerly pushing himself inside you.”Fuck.” You hissed loudly, your hands holding tightly onto the railing as his cock stretched your insides, your mind feeling hazy.

A low groan left his lips as he stayed still inside you for a moment, enjoying the feeling of your tight pussy around him, clenching him with so much need and desire, leaving him wanting for more. He pulled himself out completely, his eyes focused on his cock as he slammed himself back inside, repeating this action at a quick pace.

“Sir, please, fuck me good.” You almost screamed out, biting your lips hard to suppress any more sounds, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing above the heads of the passengers.

You could feel him chuckle beside your ear, his hand finding its way to your throat again as he pulled your back up against his chest, quickly thrusting himself in and out of you at a merciless pace. “Let me hear your beautiful voice.” He moaned out, his free hand wandering down between your legs to rub your sensitive clit.

Several filthy sounds slipped past your lips, your eyes widening due to the immense pleasure. “Childe.. “ You moaned out, your hips moving back against his to meet his thrusts, a hot burning feeling slowly building up in your abdomen.

You leaned your head back against his shoulder, breathing heavily as Childe pushed roughly in and out of you. A small scream left your lips as you grabbed onto the hand that rested between your legs, your nails digging into his skin as you walls clenched around his cock.

Childe was swearing next to your ear, his pace not dying down as you came hard around his cock, feeling his own pleasure building up inside him. “Shit..You’re so beautifully tight.” He moaned, not even thinking about giving you a minute to calm yourself down from your orgasm.

His hand continued rubbing your clit, the over stimulation sending almost sending you over the edge right again.

Childe’s fingers slowly tightened around your throat, his pace slowing for a few seconds as you felt like you were about to pass out. He slammed himself back inside you as he felt his own orgasm slowly building up. “Cum for me again, babe.” He whispered huskily, releasing your throat from his grip, the blood rushing back into your brain, the pleasure inside you burning hot as you came a second time.

The way your walls clenched so wonderfully tight around his cock drove Childe crazy, his thrusts becoming harder again, his breathing uneven as he bit harshly down on your shoulder.

Another loud moan left your lips as Childe pulled himself out of you, his fingers wrapping around his cock as he pumped his shaft quickly up and down. A loud groan left his throat as he came over your ass, gently slapping his cock against your skin, coating it with his cum.

“You’re incredible..” He muttered as he came down from his height, your body shivering and your legs weak as you leaned over the railing, trying to catch your breath.

He laughed softly while watching you, gently caressing your side while still panting slightly. “Shall I take you back inside?”

[starshapedkookie]

Southpaw

pairing: jungkook x female reader (ft. a little sprinkle of namjoon)

genre: childhood friends to lovers, boxer jungkook, college/frat au

includes: swearing, angst, mentions of blood and violence, pining, smut (public/private, unprotected sex, hair pulling, jungkook is big guys, duh), alcohol, smoking weed, jungkook seems like an asshole but he’s really not, OC having a crisis every two seconds, some fluff here and there as well, also this takes place over many months just saying if time gets confusing

premise: Knowing Jeon Jungkook for the better part of your life, you thought you knew everything about him. Well, that was before you two disappeared from each other’s lives at least. When Jungkook suddenly finds himself buying you a coffee to rekindle your friendship, it leads to much more than you bargained for.

word count: 30k (she’s a monster sorry guys) 

quick note: this is my first story back in a year(?) give or take some weeks!! kind of nervous to post & not sure if my writing has declined in anyway but nonetheless here is the beast that has been sitting on my computer since April 2019!! quick disclaimer I don’t know much about boxing so if I get stuff wrong - I apologize!! please enjoy & let me know what you think ❤️happy 7 years BTS!

recommended songs for reading: pray (JRY, RuthAnne), mushroom chocolate (6lack, quin), hallucinate (dua lipa), wus good/curious (partynextdoor)

_____

The evening was slow—after all, it was only a Wednesday. You had just finished serving a table of two—a young man and young woman—presumably on a midweek date. You didn’t recognize either of them which wasn’t surprising considering the campus grossed about 20,000 people. You began to wipe down tables out of boredom, glancing at the clock every two minutes hoping it would jump to when your shift was over in forty-five minutes. Thankfully, you didn’t have much work to do when you got home, but you are wishing to get in bed before 10:30 to get a full eight hours of sleep for your lectures tomorrow—something you had not had in about two months. Most days, like today, you were running on five hours of sleep and five cups of coffee. It wasn’t healthy, you knew that much, but it’s how you had to live your life. Your schedule was too demanding to hit the snooze button multiple times. You had shit to do—and getting your degree was the top priority.

“Y/N,” your coworker, Mark, called your name from behind of the counter.

“Yeah?” You respond.

“Will you come help me clean this out?” He asks you and you nod diligently.

“Of course,” you say, dropping your current task of wiping already clean tables. Mark was the one student that worked here you could stand to be around. He was very much like you in the sense that school came before anything—he too was on a full academic scholarship. He worked here before you, but he made you feel the most comfortable out of everyone. You would consider him a close friend at this point.

The espresso machine was a pain in the ass to clean and did call for two people most of the time. Besides, you would rather smell the remnants of coffee beans than the harsh chemicals of bleach gliding across a table.

“You have much work to do after your shift?” He asks you.

“No, thank god,” you shake your head, “I got most of my shit done between my classes today. You?”

“I have to write a ten page paper by midnight,” he sighs, “And guess how many pages I have started.”

You give him a short glance, “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say zero.”

“Damn right,” he smiles. A short silence between you two ensues before he speaks again, “Oh! Did I tell you I’m graduating early?”

“What? Really?” You look at him and an excited grin plays on his face. “When?”

“Yeah, I spoke to my advisor this afternoon and turns out, the classes I’m taking this semester is all I need for my degree,” he speaks with a relieved tone.

“Wow, that’s awesome,” you say genuinely, “I wish that was me,” you give out a small chuckle.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to keep stressing over this hell-hole,” he laughs, “The sooner I get out of here, the better.”

“I feel you on that,” you say, “I’m proud of you nonetheless, you’ve worked your ass off dealing with this scholarship.”

He gives you a small smile in return but it’s broken by the bell ringing from the door, signaling a new customer has decided to come in. Your eyes break from Mark’s and glance over to the door, your head doing a double take.

Your mouth goes dry when you see them—more specifically—him. 

No, it wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him, but you couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him outside of a frat party on the weekends. And truly, it was your first time getting a good look at him in awhile. You felt nervous—though you had no reason to be nervous. You had known him since long before your days as university students, but since you weren’t plastered in this scenario, looking at him seemed more like a chore than ever.

“You want me to get their table?” Mark asks you and you look back at him.

“No, I got it,” you say, throwing down the cleaning cloth, wiping your hands on your apron.

The small group of boys are too busy in their own conversation to see you approaching them. You clear your throat before grabbing some menus off of the podium.

“Hey guys, welcome,” your voice breaks their conversation. The three men your age turn to you all at once and a small smile erupts from one of them.

“Y/N? I didn’t know you worked here?” Taehyung—another person you knew all too well—smiles and speaks brightly

“Yup,” you say simply, “Just been here a little over a month,” you explain pressing the best smile you can muster up. “C’mon, I’ll get you seated and get your order in.”

You lead them towards the back of the small restaurant, seating them in a booth. As they follow you from behind, you can feel their eyes burning into your back and you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. They sit down and you pass out the menus.

“What would you guys like to drink?” You ask, putting a hand on your hip.

“I’ll take a coke,” Hobi—you remember his name easily as you see him around in a few of your classes.

“Coke as well,” Taehyung says.

“Jungkook?” His name rolls off your tongue and it sounds foreign. You couldn’t remember the last time you had said it, let alone to his face. His brown eyes meet yours and he clears his throat.

“I’ll just take a water,” he finally speaks, his gaze breaking just as fast as it met yours.

“I’ll get those right out,” a grimace spreads on your face and you turn on your heels to fulfill their drink orders. You hadn’t expected the encounter to be so awkward and have so much tension—but what did you expect?

Your relationship with Jeon Jungkook was a strange one to say the least. You had known him longer than anyone you associated with—you meet each other at the tender age of eight in elementary school. You remember that day so vividly.

You had been assigned a seat right beside of him the first day of school. He kept his eyes away from you. Being the energetic child you were, you were expecting him to introduce himself but—he never did. It actually took being in school a whole week to get him to talk to you. You nudged his arm with your elbow and his eyes meet yours for the first time. You smiled at him, “I like your shirt,” to which he responded a small, “Thank you.” He picked at his nails and you smiled at him again, “I’m Y/N,” though he would already know that sitting beside of you. “I’m Jungkook,” he spoke again with a shy smile. That day would change both of your lives—all thanks to you and your mouth that couldn’t shut the hell up.

Four years later, at the age of twelve, Jungkook was your best friend. For four years, he was the one person you had came to all about your problems—he as well. The two of you would complain equally about school, he would complain about his older brother picking on him, you would complain about your younger sister bothering you nonstop—the two of you were more alike in more ways than you could imagine. Despite getting older and more different, you and Jungkook shared the same friend group. You had met a girl named Kim Jennie during a pre-algebra class and Jungkook had met a lively kid named Kim Taehyung—no they weren’t related but you often joked about it. It was nice having another close friend instead of just having Jungkook—especially a girl. You and Jennie had more in common than you and Jungkook and Jungkook and Taehyung and more in common than you two. But—the four of you clicked and you spent nearly everyday with each other.

At sixteen, a lot of stuff had changed. Yes, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jennie had all remained best friends, but high school was definitely not the same as middle school. You and Jennie joined the tennis team, Jungkook and Taehyung joined the soccer team—Jungkook also joining the baseball team—which kept the four of you more separated than you would have liked. The four of you all sat together at lunch each day, but as each day passed, something felt different with Jungkook. And then, halfway through your second year of high school, the news broke that Jungkook had a girlfriend—a cute girl named Yuna—who was actually older than him by a year. You felt indifferent about it. He didn’t speak to you as much as he used to and he would ditch you, Jennie and Taehyung to hang out with her. It didn’t bother Jennie or Taehyung as much as it bothered you—but then again—you had known him since you were eight and it felt weird not being Jungkook’s number one girl. You hated to say it—but you were jealous and you had no idea why.

Two years had passed, the four of you all eighteen and fully legal now. It was the end of your last year of high school and you could not be more ready to leave. Growing up through high school together, the thought of all of you going to the same university was a dream. The four of you were excited to move on to new things. Jungkook and Yuna had broken up a few months prior, not being able to work through the distance of her being away at college. Jungkook soon started molding back to how he was before—texting you throughout the day, complaining, just being Jungkook—you were happy, happier than when he was with Yuna. It was May when you had received the news that you had been offered a full ride academic scholarship. You cried and cried tears of joy—finally busting your ass for so long had paid off. Jungkook was so proud of you, though he didn’t outwardly show it, the way he looked at you when you had told him was all you needed. Taehyung suggested it—a small celebration of sorts for you—a.k.a. the four of you getting absolutely plastered in his basement. Taehyung had managed to steal some alcohol from his parents and before the four of you knew it, beers had been downed and half a bottle of tequila had been drank. You were laying on the floor, giggling at everything Jennie did, dancing around the room with a bottle of vodka in hand. Jungkook had laid down beside of you, his eyes boring deep onto you. You crane your neck and give him a small smile, not realizing how little space was between the two of you. Jungkook supports himself on an elbow and it was then you had realized how handsome Jungkook had actually become. He spent so long away from you when he was dating Yuna, you didn’t realize how much he had grown into his features. That night—was singlehandedly the best and worst night of your life.

You had no idea what came over you, but you stood up throwing out your hand for Jungkook to take. He grabbed it with no hesitation, him towering over you as your chests touched and it was the closest the two of you had ever been. Jungkook had looked over to Jennie and Taehyung, still drinking and acting stupid, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the closest bathroom and shutting the door. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you grip his shirt tightly. The next few moments are a blur—Jungkook kisses you—actually kisses you. He gripped your waist tightly, pushing you against the door. A small whine emitted from your lips as he pulled away and you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He kissed you again, pulling your thigh up to rest in his hand. This was wrong—so wrong in so many ways. But neither of you stopped until a bang from the other side of the door broke the steamy makeup session.

That night changed everything between you two. Neither of you talked about it ever again. Despite being so drunk to the point of blacking out—you remember every detail—and so did he. That summer, you and Jungkook grew apart. And it was the worst thing to ever happen to you.

Now, at twenty-one, almost through university, you had interacted with Jungkook only a handful of times. You had studied together a few times your freshman year, but after your first year, you could count on your hands how many times you had seen each other. Most of the time, only seeing him at parties with other girls hanging off of him. It was painful to see. Even after 3 years of a drunken kiss in Taehyung’s bathroom, it hurt more than ever to see Jungkook with other girls—but at the same time you didn’t care. You had moved on and so did he. You two were now strangers but your life was good—you didn’t need him like you used to think. And he seemingly didn’t either.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Mark nudged you out of your obnoxiously long reverie and you jumped out of your skin. “Are you okay?” He asks.

You look down and realize that you haven’t taken the three of them their drinks, the ice now watering them down to shit.

“Y-yeah, I’m just tired is all,” you begin to pour out the drinks to get new ones before Mark stops you.

“Here, I’ll handle them,” he says, “You can go home early, it’s fine,” he smiles.

“A-are you sure?” You ask him, not wanting to leave him by himself.

“Yeah, it’s about closing time anyways. Just head out, I’ll close,” he nods with a smile and you can’t help but to throw you arms around him.

“Jesus, thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you one day,” you tell him pulling away. You wash your hands quickly and throw off your apron.

“Get home safe,” he says and you tell him the same before grabbing your bag. You glance one last time to the table in the back and unexpectedly, Jungkook is staring at you. It makes your breathing hitch and you turn around on your heel quickly, not wanting to linger on his gaze longer than you need to.

_____

The weekend comes slower than you would like, but it’s Friday which means one thing—time to go out and get a much needed dose of social life. You and Jennie had found yourself at the Beta Tau Sigma crush party at their fraternity house that evening.

“Here you go, m’lady,” Namjoon comes into your peripheral vision, handing you a drink he specially made just for you.

“Thanks,” you give him a small smile. You take a huge gulp without hesitation—you trusted Namjoon with your life. Not only was he on academic scholarship too, he was also the president of this fraternity which meant if he didn’t act straight—he would face serious consequences. The mix of brains, being ridiculously handsome, and being in a fraternity was a recipe for disaster—he was your type—bonafide. You were his type too which is maybe why the two of you clicked so well, particularly in bed.

“My feet are fucking killing me,” you groan glancing down at your heels, rolling your eyes in the back of your head. Namjoon throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.

“At least you look hot as fuck,” he lips brush against your ear and you give him a glare.

“Isn’t hot kind of a degrading term in today’s world?” You press.

He narrows his eyes at you, “Fine—you look beautiful, cute, sexy—is that better?”

“Much better,” you nod playfully and Namjoon gets bold—pulling you even closer to him for a small peck on your lips. Eyes linger on the two of you but you couldn’t care. So many girls would love to be in your position and you feel lucky to have captivated Namjoon at least for now. Besides, he was good at fucking and you needed stress relief, as did he.

Unsuspecting, Jungkook waltzed his way into the room and he immediately stops when he sees the sight of you and his older brother Namjoon. He had heard rumors about the two of you, which he brushed off—you would never go after someone like Namjoon—oh who is he kidding? You and Namjoon are the same person and it kills Jungkook inwardly. The way Namjoon is nuzzled into your neck and the way you're smiling, giggling to every word he says, makes him feel uncomfortable. You looked so different at parties than how he saw you a few days ago at your work. Your legs looked sexy as fuck in your short black dress, your hair flowed down beautifully as opposed to being thrown up, the way red lipstick painted your mouth made him semi hard. Jesus, how after all this time, does he still think about you like this?

Your eyes break away from Namjoon and your smile falls when they meet a familiar set of doe eyes from across the room. Your breath hitches and Jungkook looks so handsome you want to die. His dark hair is slightly parted, his button up is undone at the top, and his legs fulfill his pants better than any guy here. He downs two shots, not breaking his gaze from you. You feel intimidated by his gaze and presence, despite having seen him at these things multiple times. The only difference is that now—he’s giving you some attention that you weren’t ready for.

Your gaze breaks away from each other when a group of loud boys—including Taehyung as well as Kai, another brother within the fraternity—come rushing into the room, hauling a keg in tow.

“Hyung! Come on,” Taehyung teases drunkenly as they set down the keg. There are many hyung’s for Taehyung in the room to not have specified which one he was talking about, until he deadpans on Namjoon. “Namjoon-hyung, come on!”

Namjoon begins to shake his head in protest, “I’d rather not,” he puts his hands up, keeping his distance from Taehyung, “Gotta keep an eye on this one tonight,” he nudges you and Taehyung’s eyes widen when her realizes it’s actually you, standing beside of his older brother.

“Y/N! Hey! What’s up! Didn’t expect to see you here, especially with this one again,” he narrows his eyes to Namjoon.

“Hi Taehyung,” you give him a small smile.

“Do a keg stand with me?” His eyes bulge out like a puppy dog and your own widens in shock at the question.

“Oh no,” you protest, looking up at Namjoon, “Last time I did a keg stand was freshman year and I said never again,” you explain to him. He gives you a pout.

“Fuck,” Taehyung says, “Well who is gonna do this shit with me then?” He sounds impatient and frustrated.

“Get Jungkook too—he’s been looking over in this direction for too long, give ‘em something to do,” Namjoon says and you look up at him. Did he notice Jungkook looking at you? Shit.

“Hell yeah, that little shit will definitely do it,” Taheyung smirks and yells for Jungkook to come over. Jungkook is preoccupied with a girl before Taehyung breaks his mojo from across the room. Jungkook sees Taehyung and you standing together and he furrows his eyebrows. He excuses himself from his pussy date for the night and saunters his way over towards your direction. You keep your eyes anywhere but Jungkook as he approaches you.

“Hey hyung,” Jungkook greets Namjoon, “Y/N,” he says slowly and you tense up. “What do you want Taehyung?” He spits out. He’s clearly buzzed as the attitude coming off of his tongue is stronger than usual.

“Do this fucking keg stand with me pussy,” Taehyung presses and Jungkook scrunches his nose.

“Fuck no,” Jungkook responds and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“Come onnnn,” he drags out, begging his life long best friend to do it.

“Absolutely not, I’ve done it once and I said never again,” Jungkook says and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. Taehyung looks at you and Jungkook and shakes his head.

“I swear you two are the same person in a different body, it’s weird,” Taehyung says, “Your loss,” and Taehyung is soon leaving your side to find someone else to do his proposition.

Jungkook is left standing in front of you and Namjoon in an awkward silence.

“Don’t forget, you’re on clean up duty Jeon,” Namjoon raises an eyebrow at the younger man.

Jungkook groans, “Fine, whatever hyung,” his words run together as he gives you a final glance, “See you later Y/N,” is the last thing he says before he walks away to find the girl he was smooching up prior.

Namjoon gives you a weird look before you are furrowing eyebrows at him, “What?” You ask.

“What’s up with you two?” He asks motioning over to Jungkook.

“What do you mean?” You gulp down your drink hoping to hide the nervousness in your tone.

“Didn’t you two use to be like, best friends or some shit?” He asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Yeah, when we were kids,” you chuckle.

Namjoon doesn’t seemed convinced, “I remember you two hanging out a lot during Jungkook's freshman year here, what happened?”

You shrug once again, “People grow apart,” you answer simply, not wanting to go in detail how one kiss basically ruined whatever your friendship was with him. Namjoon suddenly smiles, a dimple showing in his left cheek.

“You know he talks about how hot you are? Not all of the time, but I’ve heard it before,” he laughs and you freeze in your spot.

“What are you trying to prove by interrogating me Joon?” You say with some attitude. That was the least thing you expected to come out of his mouth.

“Hey, I’m just asking questions!” He defends himself, “I just didn’t know if something happened between you two—like you dated or something and shit got weird, I don’t know… just curious,” he chuckles a bit.

You eyes widen and you feel yourself getting warm, “Oh no, we never dated or…anything like that…” you trail off. “We’ve just grown apart, we’re too different now.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, “According to Taehyung you two are the same person.”

You glare at him, “Get me another drink,” you shove your cup into his hand and see laughs at you before sauntering away for a few seconds. He comes back with a full glass and you down half of it in a few seconds.

“Ew,” you scrunch up your nose. Nice, you think to yourself.

“Maybe you should talk to him? I’m sure having an old friend is nice every once in awhile,” Namjoon continues, clearly interested in your history with Jungkook.

“I have Jennie,” you answer, “Besides, conversation goes both ways. If he really wanted to be friends again, he could talk to me.” You knew that answer was stupid. Jungkook didn’t even speak to you when you were younger. You were the one that initiated the friendship, not him, and you knew that.

“Whatever you say space cowboy,” Namjoon draws out and you give him a glare.

“Did you just quote Kacey Musgraves?” You ask with a small smile on your face.

“Fuck yeah I did,” he smirks, “She’s a gay icon are you kidding me, I’m obsessed with her.”

“Joonie, you’re not even gay,” you laugh.

“So? I love anyone who supports gay rights! Don’t discriminate my quotes!” He defends himself and you cannot help but laugh at him.

“Let’s go dance,” you grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen onto the main dance floor. Namjoon was perhaps one of the more attractive people you’ve met here in your four years. He oozed sex appeal and charisma, which is why anytime he wanted to hang out or take you to a party—you obliged. If it meant getting in his bed at the end of the night, wearing the heels was worth it.

Namjoon puts his hands on your waist and the two of you dance to music in the crowded dance floor. Namjoon grabs a bottle of liquor from one of his other brothers who you have never met before and the two of you share a nice gulp of the cheap—but very strong—vodka.

You haven’t had too much to drink but you know if you drink anymore, you will not make it back to your apartment. You push the bottle away from you and turn to face Namjoon. His brown eyes stare into yours with a glassy, tipsy appearance, and he smirks at you.

“What?” You question him as his grip gets tighter on you.

“I wasn’t lying when I said you looked hot,” he says smoothly and you roll your eyes yet again.

“How sweet,” you grumble, biting down on your bottom lip. Without a warning, he leans in and pecks your lips gently. The alcohol in your veins surges through you as you lean back in and close the gap. Even in your heels, you still have to crane your neck some to fully reach his stature. His hands grip your waist tightly and you tug at his light brown locks, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

He presses himself into you a little bit harder and you can tell he wants you, his hands gripping one at your waist and the other one in your hair. Everything around you goes blank was it only feels like the two of you in the room together. Unfortunately, your moment is ruined when someone bumps into the two of you, knocking you apart. Namjoon steadies you and he glares at the two girls that ran into you.

“You want to get out of here?” Namjoon says into your ear, his breath fanning over your neck sending chills down you body.

“Yeah,” you nod a little too excitedly and he grabs your hand pulling you away from everyone. Namjoon is taking you up the stairs before someone calls out your name.

“Y/N!” You turn around in Namjoon’s grip to find Jennie holding onto the railing of the stairs, swaying back and forth drunkenly.

“Oh god,” you mutter.

“Is she okay?” Namjoon asks as he follows behind you back down the stairs. No, in fact, she looks terrible.

“Jennie, what’s up? I thought you were with Suzy?” You ask her and her face scowls.

“I was, but then… he showed up,” Jennie says, knowing exactly who she is talking about, “And he brought another girl with him! Y/N, what’s wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him?” Jennie is rambling as tears began to flow down her face. You look at Namjoon as he assesses the situation.

“I-I can get an Uber for her, if you’d like?” Namjoon offers and you nod.

“Please?” You beg and Namjoon grabs your hand squeezing it reassuringly before walking away to get the car.

“Jennie, come on, snap out of it,” you tell her and she continues to sob in your arms.

“Y/N, I don’t get it, I love him and he says he loves me but he does this shit all of the time,” she rambles.

“I know, I know,” you try to calm her down, “Jennie your drunk right now, but you’re so much better than him. I know you don’t realize it, but you are—“

“He makes me feel like shit,” Jennie sighs and you cradle your friend. Unfortunately, Jennie doesn’t have the best taste in men and she finds herself stuck in toxic situations she can’t get out of. You wish you could help more then you do but when Jennie is drunk, it’s hard to get anything through to her.

“Come on, let’s go to the bathroom,” you pull her up before she starts fighting you.

“I don’t need to use the bathroom though,” she pouts.

“Well, you might, let’s go,” you manage to hold her up and get to a bathroom in a hallway that isn’t too crowded. You reach for the handle only to be disappointed that it’s locked. Great.

You beat on the door with your free hand, “Hurry up in there! I have a crisis hanging off of my arm!”

“Hey, don’t call me that you bitch,” Jennie frowns and you roll your eyes, knowing she won’t remember any of this in the morning. You beat on the door again and again and again and finally, someone unlocks it and opens it fully.

The sight makes your eyes widen and your body heat up on fire. In front of you stands Jungkook against the counter zipping up his pants and the girl he was with earlier standing from her knees, wiping her mouth with a smirk. She leaves the bathroom, leaving you standing there with Jennie alone. When his eyes meet yours, his face goes ghostly pale. His mouth parts open and he feels like crawling into a hole to die.

“Y/N, Jennie?” Is all that comes from his mouth.

“Move Jungkook,” you say sternly and he moves to make room for you two in the bathroom.

“Uh, do you need any—“

“Leave Jungkook, I don’t need any help,” you say frustrated at the sight you just witnessed. You don’t know why you felt angry at him. You knew that he slept around like most fraternity boys—but to see him after getting sucked off in a bathroom—was new territory. Not only did it bring up the memory of you and him back in Taehyung’s bathroom all those years ago, it made you physically sick to know that you were just a pawn for him then. Who are you trying to kid? You were nothing to him. Once he figured out what his dick was used for, that’s all he cared about. Christ, you say to yourself, fuck him.

Jungkook leaves the two of you alone and within seconds, Jennie is over the toilet hurling her entire stomach up. You hold her hair back as she heaves into the toilet, trying not to gag yourself.

“Y/N,” she mumbles, “I don’t feel good.”

“I know, just keep it in the toilet please,” you say looking away at the sight.

Thankfully, Namjoon appears at the door. “The Uber is here,” he announces.

“Come on, we’re going to get you home,” you tell her, wiping her mouth with some toilet paper.

“Home?” She asks, “Thank god.”

Namjoon grabs her other side as the two of you carry her outside into the fresh air. You have to admit, the fresh air as sobered you up slightly. You spot the car waiting up front and Namjoon opens the door for Jennie.

“Thank you so much,” you tell Namjoon as he helps Jennie into the car.

“It’s seriously not a problem,” he smiles, “You should go with her,” he suggests and you feel your heart drop.

“A-are you sure?” You ask, subtle disappointment in your tone.

“Yeah, it’s fine—we’ll pick up another time,” he gives you a wink and you smile back.

“Okay, thanks again.”

You load into the back of the Uber with Jennie and you just pray that she doesn’t hurl in the car, for the sake of you and the Uber driver’s car. You were not about to pay the $200 fee for puke in the backseat. 

_____

The next morning comes all too quickly in your deep sleep. When you wake up, you are not expecting Jennie to be in your bed with you. You had nearly forgotten she refused to sleep in her own bed last night, therefore you having to give in to her wishes of sleeping with you. Thankfully, you don’t feel like you have too bad of a hangover. For Jennie though, you know she will probably be in bed all day with a bottle of Tylenol at her bedside.

You check your phone and your eyes nearly burst from your head. It’s 1:07 PM.

“Fuck,” you groan to yourself. You did not need to sleep this late considering you absolutely needed to study for your exams on Monday. Not only was it an exam—it was your midterm exams in your human sciences and financial analytics classes, two classes that were kicking your ass. The longer you laid in your bed, meant the longer you were losing time to cram in your studying. You swig the sheets and blankets off of you to find yourself still in your party dress from last night. You grab a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt from your wardrobe before heading to the bathroom.

Your appearance makes you shudder when you seeing yourself in the mirror. You didn’t even take off your makeup, mascara and lipstick stains spread out on your face. Now it was time to really pray that you wouldn’t breakout from the old layer of foundation on your face. You grab a makeup wipe to get the gunk off of yourself before you step into an insanely hot shower.

You manage to shower quickly, scrubbing your body and face off of any stench left of you from last night. You step out, moisturizing each crevice that you can reach before you throw on your clothes. You feel 200% better now that you have showered and you can hear footsteps coming down from the hallway. Jennie appears at the bathroom door rubbing her eyes harshly.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” you comment and she stretches out her limbs, her dress hiked up far up her legs where her underwear is showing.

“Ugh!” She groans loudly, “My head is pounding. What the fuck happened last night?”

“There’s some medicine out in the kitchen,” you say as you follow her out into your living room and kitchen area. She goes immediately to the medicine cabinet and downs two pills with ease.

“Where are you going?” She asks as you began to gather up your school work into your book-bag.

“I have to study,” you tell her and she closes her eyes again, the sun being too harsh for the light.

“It’s Saturday Y/N,” she says obviously.

“I know,” you zip up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, “But I have two midterms Monday—I can’t make below a B or I can get in trouble with the dean,” you explain and she nods, her sleepy gaze staring at you.

“Well, have fun. I’ll be here—dying,” she grins and you salute her off, leaving your shared apartment to go to the campus library.

The library is only about a ten minute walk and thankfully, not many students are flocking to the location on a Saturday afternoon. You assume that everyone is either hungover like Jennie or just don’t give a shit enough to come out and study.

You grab a coffee from the small coffee shop outside the library before you go in, sit down, and get to work on your studying. You turn on your classical music radio as you take out out your printed slides, notes, and textbooks. As strange as it is to say, as much as you hated studying—it’s where you felt the most comfortable. You knew you were smart and you knew school was your strongest trait—everyone knew that about you.

You go through each chapter of your human sciences class, writing and rewriting notes on new sheets of a paper. You make flashcards as you go along. You answer the obnoxiously long quiz questions at the end of your textbook as you go along. 

Thankfully, you haven’t had any distractions and before you know it, it’s been nearly two hours since you first sat down. Your coffee is now cold but you don’t care as you need the caffeine to keep you going. You are about to pull out all of your analytics material before suddenly, a coffee cup in placed on the table in front of you. You look at the source and look back down until you look up again. 

“Jungkook?” You ask pulling out one of your earbuds. His face is tired, the bags underneath his eyes prominent. He’s wearing a gray tracksuit, his hair messy underneath his somewhat contained beanie.

“H-hi,” he says simply, “Can I sit?” He asks referring to the chair across from you. You nod as he slings his backpack off and into the floor as he plops down in the chair.

“Hi,” you speak lowly. There’s tension between the two of you. It’s uncomfortable. You hate it, almost as much as you hate the sight you saw last night. “What’s up?” The question is simple, but forced.

He shrugs, “I dragged myself out to study despite my busting headache,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

“Jungkook in the library? To study? Did I hear that right?” You ask and he laughs slightly.

“Yup, unfortunately you did,” he answers before letting out a sigh. “I uh, got you this,” he slides the coffee cup over to you and you furrow your brows. You face heats up. Why would he buy you a coffee? The time Jungkook bought you something was a card and flowers the evening of your high school graduation, why the hell would he buy you a coffee?

“Thanks,” you laugh awkwardly grabbing the cup from him. You take a sip from the cup and realize it’s exactly how you like it. Three creams, an espresso shot, and a dash of vanilla flavoring. “How’d you know this is what I like?” You ask.

“Uh, you told me a few years back,” he says shy, his gaze ripping away from you. “I assumed it was the same, thank god,” he laughs trying to lighten up the mood.

“Thanks,” you repeat, unsure of what to say.

“Uh, how’s Jennie this morning?” He asks you with a genuine concern. You look from him, not being able to hold his gaze without burning up.

“She’s fine,” you say, keeping your eyes on your notes and hands in front of you.

“That’s good,” he says awkwardly. His leg is bouncing uncontrollably underneath the table and he feels like he needs to throw up.

“Why did you buy me this?” You ask him. He wants something, you can feel it.

“Um, no reason, I-I just saw you h-here and I know how much you love coffee,” he stumbles over his words and you meet his gaze again, before giving him a glare.

“Hm,” you mumble.

“Listen Y/N,” he starts, sounding more clear of his words, “I know we don’t really have a relationship anymore but, I-I just wanted to apologize to you about… the bathroom… last night,” he sighs and he hangs his head down for a second.

Your expression is blank and you shrug your shoulders with a small head shake, “Don’t worry about it.”

He nods slowly before a silence falls between you two.

“Listen, um I really have to get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow. Thank you again for the coffee,” you say with a small smile, trying your best to be cordial with him.

He nods getting ready to stand up but he stops abruptly, “What are you doing this week?”

The question catches you off guard.

“Oh, um,” your mouth is dry and it’s hard to find the words, “Probably studying, working, I don’t know,” you shrug again.

“Well uh, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?” He bits his lip nervously, “We haven’t hung out in awhile, I thought maybe we could catch up?”

Awhile would be an understatement. The boy and you exchange another glance before you begin to nod hesitantly.

“Sure,” you answer simply.

“Cool,” he responds, “You still have the same number?” He asks. The question is weird. How is it that your best friend of so many years has to ask if your number is the same?

“Yeah,” you nod. He nods too, saying a quick goodbye before you watch as his built frame disappears into another corridor of the library, your eyes lingering a little too long on his built frame. What the hell was that?

_____

On Monday, both of your exams go a lot better than you were expecting them to. Your human sciences exam had already been graded and you made a 94 which in turn meant you were over the moon. Now you could only hope for that in analytics.

You know sat across from Jennie at one of your campus’s sandwich shops eating a late lunch.

“I don’t even know why you stress so much about your grades Y/N,” Jennie says, “You always end up with an A.”

“Jennie, I worry because if I don’t get A’s I can get kicked out of the honors program, you know this,” you say with pointed eyes, “Besides, I made a B in that business statistics class I had my freshman year, I’m still pissed about that!”

“Boohoo, I got a C minus in that class,” Jennie rolls her eyes, “All I’m saying is, you just need to loosen up. I know school is stressful but I know that you have to be going crazy.”

“I am going crazy Jennie,” you whine, “I’m just glad we don’t have much longer,” you sigh heavily.

“You and me both,” she adds, “I’m sorry I interrupted your stress relief the other night,” she says.

“What?”

She laughs, “You almost got dicked down by Namjoon and I ruined it,” she pouts and you giggle at her.

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, “He said we could pick it up another time.”

“Good, his fine piece of ass is something you gotta keep,” she smirks. Suddenly, your phone makes a ding on the table and you grab it quickly. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the text message.

[3:32 PM Jeon Jungkook] hey do you still want to do something this week?

“Who is that?” Jennie asks you.

“Uh, nobody,” you shake your head putting the phone back down.

“It most definitely is not nobody—your eyes are huge,” she points out. Dammit.

“Um,” you start, “Well last week at work, Jungkook, Taehyung, and their friend Hobi came in later at night,” you tell her, “And it was awkward and then I saw Jungkook at the party on Saturday.”

“We see him all the time at the parties we go,” she shrugs.

“I know, but then he came up to me in the library the other day…and bought me a coffee,” you finish.

Jennie’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I know right,” you say.

“Wonder what he wants from you?” She purses her lips.

“He asked if he wanted to go out this week,” you shrug, “He said we haven’t in awhile and he wanted to ‘catch up’,” you say.

Jennie’s eyebrows furrow. “Hm,” she mumbles, “Well are you going to?”

“I don’t know,” you tell her honestly, “I think I’ve seen enough of him to last me awhile.”

Jennie grimaces at you, “Come on Y/N,” she says, “You and Jungkook used to be inseparable, I don’t even know what the fuck happened to you two.”

“We just grew apart Jennie,” you tell her.

“Friendships like you and Jungkook don’t just ‘grow apart’,” she uses air quotes.

“Believe what you want,” you mutter, picking at your food suddenly not feeling too hungry.

“Why wouldn’t you go? There’s nothing stopping you is there?” She presses.

“Not exactly, but… I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” you mumble.

“Y/N, he’s your oldest friend,” she says, “You’ve known him longer than anyone else here, I know that you miss him as your friend,” she goes on.

“I don’t know Jennie, we’re not the same people we used to be. We’re not compatible as friends anymore, it’s weird.”

“How can it already be weirder than it is now? It’s weird as fuck that you two grew up together and don’t speak to each other anymore. I’d say go, just hangout, who knows what might happen,” she reasons and you cannot help but agree with her.

You don’t say anything else as you pull your phone back out.

[3:38 PM Me] Yeah I’m free tonight if you want to do something!

_____

Jungkook picks you up at seven on the dot. You feel nervousness settling in your stomach and you suddenly care about your appearance. When you open the door of your apartment and welcome him in, you have to tell yourself to keep your mouth closed.

He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and ripped jeans but he looks…so good? You hope you aren’t overdressed in your dress and denim jacket and he smiles when he meets your gaze.

“Hey,” he greets you and you welcome him into your apartment—a place he has never been.

“Hi,” you say grabbing your keys from the kitchen. “Jennie!” You shout and she emerges from the laundry room

“Yeah?” She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Jungkook. “Oh, hey Jungkook.”

“Hi,” he smiles.

“I’ll be back later,” you tell her, “What are you doing tonight?”

“I have to write a report and I guess I’m going to do your laundry since you’re lazier than shit,” she presses. You throw up your middle finger and turn to Jungkook.

“You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

_____

“Where are we going?” You ask him as you make your way outside, keeping a relative distance between you and him.

“You hungry?” Jungkook proposes, almost with a playful tone.

“Mhm,” you mumble, looking down at the ground as you walk. This was weird… so fucking weird. The last time you and Jungkook had hung out was around two and a half years ago—not even shitting. You wonder if he still liked the same things, had the same hobbies, ate the same food, but you were completely unsure of yourself in this circumstance. The nervousness hasn’t settled in your stomach and your mind wonders if he’s nervous too.

“Alright, c’mon,” he says and you meet his gaze before he changes direction with you in tow.

It’s not even a five minute walk—mind you, in silence—until we reach the place Jungkook had led you to.

“Really Jungkook?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you step into your all too familiar work place.

“What?” He laughs, “The food is good,” he continues.

“I’m starting to think you brought me here for my employee discount,” you press to him and he tilts his head.

“You have an employee discount?” He repeats, “Good to know,” he chuckles and in turn, you return a small laugh, feeling a little more comfortable.

Mark isn’t working tonight, but unfortunately, a girl named Kyla is and you absolutely despise her. Her biggest personality trait is just being a bitch—a bitch for no reason! Sure, you can have your bitchy moments but you’re not going to be a bitch to someone unless they deserve it.

“Y/N… Jungkook,” Kyla says slowly, looking between the two of you. “Just sit wherever you like,” she says. The restaurant is free real estate as you two are the only ones here.

You choose a booth, sliding in on one side, Jungkook on the other.

“Do you know her?” You ask Jungkook once she walks away from your table.

Jungkook looks pale, “I’ve met her, once or twice,” he says and it’s all the confirmation you need to understand that means he’s fucked her once or twice.

You don’t say anything else as you look through the menu, already knowing exactly what you want.

“When did you start working here?” Jungkook asks you.

“Oh, about a month ago,” you say. He already knows that. I guess you and Jungkook are really too that point, huh? Small, dull, repetitive conversation?

“How did your exams go?” He asks, chewing on his bottom lip. He’s nervous—you can sense it.

“Better than I thought,” you answer honestly.

“Hm, let me guess—you thought you did terrible but ended up getting an A,” he reads you perfectly.

“Hey! I don’t think like that,” you say even thought you know that is a fat lie.

“Come on Y/N, you’ve been that way since we were fourteen. Lying sends you to hell you know,” he raises an eyebrow at you and you look away from him to suppress your laugh.

“Fine. I got a 94 on one of them, I don’t know about the other one yet,” you tell him.

“See, you’re a genius,” he says and you shake your head.

“Most definitely not,” you say.

“I was always so envious of you growing up, you just sat there in school and you just… got it,” he says remembering back to your younger days, “All of us were jealous of you,” he adds.

“I can guarantee nobody was jealous of me Jungkook,” you give him a grimace, “We all were stupid in our own ways, maybe you more than anyone else,” you decide to pick on him since you’re feeling more relaxed as the conversation keeps going.

“Hey, no need to shit on me like that,” he gives you a pout.

Your phone suddenly vibrates against the table. It’s probably Jennie, you think to yourself as you flip the phone over. To your surprise, it’s not Jennie—It’s Namjoon.

[7:28 PM Kim Namjoon] hope you had a good day

[7:29 PM Kim Namjoon] mine would be a lot better if you were sitting on my cock right now

Your eyes widen and you flip the phone back over with a slam to the table. Jungkook looks at you curiously.

“Whose that?” He asks.

You want to lie, but Jungkook can tell when you’re lying. “Just Namjoon,” you tell him, “He was asking about some homework.”

Jungkook nods slowly before chewing on his bottom lip again, “You and hyung are good friends?”

Your face drops and you don’t say anything.

“I’m just asking since I’ve seen you guys together at our parties,” he adds while clearing his throat.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” is all that comes from your mouth. Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read but you can tell he knows you’re not saying what you’re actually thinking. What he wants you to do is be honest with him and tell him that yeah, you and Namjoon fuck from time to time, but of course, he doesn’t get that answer.

About twenty minutes later, Kyla is bringing your food.Your stomach growls as the scent of the food comes into your nostrils. The two of you begin eating, keeping some small talk between the two of you.

“Are you still a business major?” You ask him as you chow down on your French fries loaded with ketchup.

Jungkook scrunches his face up, “Hell no,” he shakes his head.

You stop your chewing momentarily, “Oh,” is all you can muster. “I’m sure that went over well with your father.”

Jungkook gives you a short glance, a smirk across his face, “It went as well as you can imagine.”

Growing up, Jungkook was expected to go to college, get a business degree of some kind and him and his older brother were to takeover his father’s company by the time he was 30—you would know, Jungkook would secretly complain to you about nonstop as teenagers.

“What are majoring in now?”

“Photography and film,” he answers boldly.

“Oh, wow,” you tell him, “That’s a big move.”

“I’d rather die than being forced to do something I don’t want to do, that’s no way to live life,” he munches on his burger, his eyes looking straight into yours.

“How’s Taehyung?” You ask him.

“He’s good,” he laughs a little bit, “Would you believe it if I told you he has a girlfriend?” He cocks his head slightly.

“Taehyung? And a girlfriend?” You say in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he chuckles, “It’s weird though, he won’t introduce me to her, hell he won’t even tell me her name.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “That is weird,” you pause, “Maybe he thinks you’ll steal her,” you smirk jokingly. 

Jungkook shakes his head, “Taehyung’s got more game than I do, trust me,” he says with a laugh. 

“I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend?” You ask him nervously, biting down on your bottom lip.

Jungkook stops eating and rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek, “No, I haven’t dated anyone since Yuna really.”

The confession surprises you and you somewhat don’t believe him.

“Why not?” You press.

He shrugs, “Just haven’t found anyone I like I guess, like, really like, you know?”

You nod understandingly. Before Namjoon (whom you aren’t even dating) you had dated this guy for awhile and he was nice but you were bored as fuck in that relationship. Thankfully, you moved on from that onto better things.

Once the two of you finish your meals, Jungkook pays before you can protest and you leave the restaurant around 8:30 PM. You shove your hands into your jacket and walk along beside of Jungkook, lazily kicking rocks when you come across them.

“So, what did I do to deserve a free meal and a coffee from Jeon Jungkook in the span of two days?” You look up at him and he glances down to you quickly.

“I said I wanted to catch up, how else was I supposed to do that?” He smirks and you hit his arm playfully.

You don’t say anything so he continues.

“I don’t know, it’s just when I saw you last week working, I hadn’t seen you in so long… let alone speak to you,” he pauses, “It made me realize that I miss our friendship, I missed us…” he trails off, looking straight ahead.

“Why didn’t you reach out sooner?” You ask him seriously.

Jungkook hesitates some, “You could have reached out too, the phone works both ways” his words are unexpected, harsh. And they somewhat hurt.

You don’t say anything again, feeling a sting in your chest.

“I didn’t mean it like that Y/N,” Jungkook say, stopping his path to stand in front of you, “It’s just… we haven’t spoken in so long. I feel like you’re a completely different person ever since we got here to university. I don’t know what happened—“

“You don’t know what happened?” Your tone is sharp. “Are you stupid Jungkook?”

He looks taken aback, “W-what?”

“When we were eighteen and you fucking kissed me that’s what happened and that’s when shit changed Jungkook, don’t act like you don’t know,” you sound angry to which, you are. Talking about this gets you riled up.

Jungkook lowers his head, “We should have talked about that, I know but—“

“But what Jungkook? It ruined our friendship and you know it.”

“I ruined it?” He now sounds pissed off. “What ruined our friendship was you acting like I didn’t exist once we got here to college. You blew me off and blew me off time and time again,” he runs a hand through his hair, “I tried to maintain this friendship and you know it. If that stupid, fucking, drunken kiss bothered you that bad, you should have been a big girl and told me.”

You feel frustrated and you feel tears are threatening to spill out of you. You want to comeback with something, but you know he’s right. He did try and you were the one to put distance between you both.

“I-I,” you start but no words come out. “I’m sorry Jungkook. It’s just when we got here, things got more complicated and more stressful, and I couldn’t afford distractions—“

“So I’m a distraction now?”

“What? No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” you shake your head in protest.

“So, hanging out at fraternity houses every weekend, getting hammered with Jennie every weekend, smoking pot once in awhile, and fucking Namjoon isn’t a distraction? But your best friend of fourteen years is a distraction?” Jungkook’s words come out in a frenzy and you feel slightly attacked.

“Excuse me what? Jungkook no—“ you stop yourself from speaking. You know he’s right but that doesn’t give him a right to attack you like that. “So, what’s your excuse then for not being the bigger person than, huh? Getting sucked off too many times in a bathroom and you realized you don’t need my attention anymore? Huh?”

Jungkook’s eyes darken and you can tell he’s pissed off.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asks you.

“Jungkook, you’re my oldest friend—“

“You don’t treat me like it—“

“Well neither do you,” you back go back and forth with each other. You’re frustrated. Angry. Sad.

Jungkook is fighting a battle in his head. “I’m sorry okay,” he says, “I think we both can admit we’ve acted shitty to each other.”

You look away from him staring aimlessly at your lap, “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Neither should have I,” he says. “I just wish you had told me about that stupid kiss, we could have talked through it Y/N. I wasn’t thinking back then.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Jungkook’s eyes look panicked and he scratches the back of his neck.

“I had a stupid little crush on you at the time okay? And alcohol doesn’t help, it only intensified my feelings.”

“What?” Your mouth drops agape at the confession.

“I know, stupid right,” he shakes his head, “Fuck I wished we had discussed this sooner because this is so embarrassing,” he laughs while shaking his head.

You’re in disbelief. Jungkook liked you? How did you not know? It makes your insides tingle at the thought, but you know you shouldn’t get excited so you drown out the feeling deep within you. 

“Well, that was years ago,” you tell him, “All we can do now is look ahead,” your breath is uneven and shaky.

“You’re right,” he mutters, “I really am sorry Y/N, I-I just want you as a friend again—“

“I forgive you Jungkook. And I’m sorry too.”

What Jungkook does next is unexpected but all too familiar. He grabs your chin and squeezes it in his hand. You swat him away with a laugh as he pulls you in by an arm. You oblige his movements and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you keep walking. There’s something oddly intimate about this gesture. And the whole atmosphere has changed but you like it—it feels… like home.

“Can I ask you something?” You mumble.

“You just did,” he laughs and his chest rumbles underneath you.

“Shut the fuck up,” you lean up from him with a smile, “Namjoon said you talk about me a lot…?” You trail off your question. You could be sneaky if you really wanted to be.

“He did?” Jungkook panics. Fucking Namjoon, he thinks to himself. “W-what did he say?” He stumbles on his words.

“Just stuff,” you respond hesitantly, “He may or may not have said that you called me hot.” Jungkook freezes beside of you.

“Fucking hell, I’m gonna kill hyung,” he mutters underneath his breath, “Look I’m sorry okay—I was really drunk and I saw you at one of our parties in this short ass dress and fuck, yeah I said you were hot—I’m sorry okay? I know that’s so fucking weird jeez, I’m sorry—“

“Jungkook it’s fine,” you laugh interrupting his rambling. “It’s not weird, I just wanted to know whether or not Namjoon was feeding me shit.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” He asks and you can sense that he is very embarrassed. “I told you, I’m not good with my alcohol.”

You shake your head, “I mean, you’re pretty hot too if I say so myself,” the words tumble from your mouth and you actually want to crawl in a hole and die. Did you just say that?! Jungkook looks at you as you turn your face away from him. Fuck, he thinks to himself. He glances down your body and notices the cleavage coming through your dress and the way you hair is pulled to one side. Fuck, he thinks again, yeah, stupid little crush three years ago my ass.

“Can I tell you something?” His voice his quiet, serious.

“Of course,” you look up at him with a concern face.

“You can’t tell anyone—not even Jennie,” he says, his voice low. You give him a confused look, but nod anyways.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him. He bits at his lip, feeling uneasy.

He takes in a deep breath before exhaling, “When I changed my major a few months back, my parents threatened to cut me off—“

“Whoa, what?”

“And they’re still threatening to if I don’t get my shit straight.”

“Jungkook, I don’t get what you’re saying? Have you done something?” You ask him, feeling already too uneasy about where this conversation is going.

“No, I haven’t done anything—that’s the problem. I haven’t proved to them that I’m worthy for them to keep paying for my school. I haven’t proved to them that I can get a job somewhere. My grades aren’t proving anything to them.”

“What are you gonna do if they cut you off? You can’t pay for this shit-hole by yourself—they know that.” You notice the way his jaw is grinding and his breathing is shaking.

“Please don’t get mad at me,” he mumbles quietly. Oh god. “Recently I started taking up, um… boxing,” he says, unsure of his words.

“…Okay?” You say slowly.

“I’ve been fighting, like underground fighting,” you almost don’t hear him, but then you do, and you want to laugh in his face—but he’s being serious.

“Fighting? Jungkook what the fuck?!” You push yourself away from the comfort of his side, “Are you crazy?!”

“I’m getting paid for the fights—if I win at least,” he tries to sound reasonable but to you, you want to scream at him in anger.

“Jungkook, are you fucking kidding me? You’re fighting? Instead of finding a real job?”

“Y/N you don’t understand—I make thousands of dollars for one fight—it’s my best chance right now.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you shake your head, pulling your hands through your hair in frustration, you cannot believe this man right now.

“What are you going to do about school then? Huh?” You press him.

“I-I was hoping you would help me, at least try to tutor me,” he says hesitantly and your stomach drops. You don’t say anything for a moment, unsure if you want to scream or cry at him.

“So this is the reason why you wanted to rekindle our friendship, so I could be your fucking tutor?”

“What no—“

“Are you fucking kidding me Jungkook? I cannot believe you right now,” your voice is getting louder by the minute. You start to walk away from him back to your apartment by yourself, unable to even look at him right now.

“Wait—no, please Y/N,” Jungkook runs to you, grabbing your hand and pulls you back to him, “I know this is all bad timing but I really did miss having you as a friend and you’re the only person, I could tell this to, at least for now,” he quickly explains.

“What, so you want me to help you through school while you get the shit knocked out of you for money?” You ask him, “Jungkook I don’t want to see you go through that, you have to find another option,” your eyes are pleading with him. His grip moves from your hand to your waist which causes your heart to race irregularly.

“Y/N, please I know it’s not the best but it really is my best option. I need someone there for me and I need that person to be you,” his face is too close for comfort and you back away from him a few inches.

“Jungkook, I don’t know,” you shake your head.

“Please, Y/N, I’m begging you,” he says again.

“Have you told anyone?” You ask him.

“Aside from you, only Taehyung knows—and Yoongi, he was the one to introduce me to it.” Yoongi—a name you’re not familiar with.

“Fucking hell Jungkook,” you lean your head back, trying to contain your emotions.

“Please you can’t tell anyone Y/N, I can get in serious trouble by obtaining money this way.”

“Yeah because it’s fucking illegal,” you spit at him. You find his hand to grip a little too tightly and you want to scream at Jungkook. How could he be so stupid? And how were you going to let him be so stupid?

“I’ll help you with school Jungkook, but the fighting… I don’t know,” you tell him, “You know I’m not going to be okay with that.”

“If you makes you feel any better, I haven’t lost. The most I’ve walked away with is a few scraps and bruises on my arms,” he tries to lighten up your mood but it doesn’t work. “I promise I won’t get hurt, I know what I’m doing,” he nudges you trying to loosen you up some. He hands end up grabbing yours, intertwining them tightly.

“Don’t make me promises you can’t keep Jungkook,” you tell him and his face falls again. Both of you look at your intertwined hands. “At least promise me you’ll be careful,” you plead him.

“Of course. I promise,” he says giving your hand a squeeze. Without warning, he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. Your hands snake up against his neck and pull him close to you as well.

His scent is all too familiar and it scares you that you’ve missed out on him growing into the handsome adult he is now. And now, you have to fear for his wellbeing. Fuck. Jungkook pulls away from you and your faces meet a little too close for comfort. His nose brushes against yours, his eyes burning holes into you.

“I’d trust you with my life Y/N,” he speaks again, “And I’m trusting you with this.”

Your breath hitches as his nose brushes yours again. Fuck, you think to yourself. You bite your lip, knowing that you wold absolutely die for this boy and it takes all of you to grip his shirt and push him away from you. You feel less suffocated once your space is empty and Jungkook’s hand stays in yours as he walks you home. It’s a good thing, you think, that you’ve had a stupid little crush on him too or you would most definitely not do this shit for him.

_____

“So,” Jennie says slowly, “How was it?”

You hadn’t even walked into your apartment five feet before Jennie is rushing questions onto you.

“Um,” you pause, taking the time to take off your shoes, “It went... well,” you say, unsure of your words. Did it go well? You weren’t sure considering the two of you were in an argument nearly the whole way home.

“Well?” Jennie asks, curiosity dripping in her tone, “I need more details than that. What’d you do? What did you guys talk about?”

“Um, we just kind of caught up on things,” you knew you had to tread your words lightly. “It felt pretty normal.” You add at the last second, giving her a weak smile. She narrows her eyes at you.

“That’s it?” She somewhat frowned.

“What did you want me to say?” You give her a laugh as you begin to walk back towards your room and undress into your sleepwear. She follows your footsteps closely.

“I don’t know! I was just expecting more, more from you! You seem awfully quiet,” she says plopping down on your bed that she is oh-so accustomed to.

You look through your drawers and pull out a big t-shirt and slip it over your head. You turn to Jennie and give her another pathetic attempt of a smile.

“It’s just weird okay,” you tell her, climbing onto your bed with her, “This was the first time we’ve actually hung out by ourselves in years and I don’t know, it was good, like we picked up where we left off you know?” You knew that was a complete lie but you needed to get Jennie off your case or you were afraid you would let your worries slip.

She lets out a sigh, “I guess so. I do think about high school sometimes and we really had it good… the four of us,” she smiles fondly thinking back to simpler times.

“Yeah… we did,” you agree staring up at your ceiling.

“How’s Taehyung by the way? Did Jungkook mention him?”

You give a glance at Jennie and she’s looking at her overgrown nails. “He’s good, Jungkook said he had a girlfriend which surprised me.”

“Hm,” Jennie shrugged, “Interesting.”

You furrowed your eyebrows while looking at her. “Interesting?” You found her answer odd but she brushes it off.

“Yeah, well I have homework to do that isn’t gonna do itself unfortunately,” she stands up from your bed, “See you in the morning, goodnight.” She throws you a quick wink before she leaves, shutting your bedroom door behind of her.

You let out a sigh of relief when she leaves. As happy as you were that you and Jungkook reconnected some tonight, the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach was keeping you from focusing on the good. You couldn’t believe what Jungkook had gotten himself into. Boxing? For money? You knew Jungkook never had much common sense but this takes it to another level. You now knew one of his deepest secrets and not only could that seriously backfire on you if something went wrong. He said he trusted you with his fucking life for Christ’s sake. Who says that to someone they’ve barely spoken to in two years? Someone who is desperate, you think.

You grab a book from your nightstand for one of your classes and flip to your last read page, trying to rid your mind of Jungkook getting the shit beat out of him. And as much as you read your book and your eyelids fall sleepy, you manage to barely sleep that night, as images of your old friend are burned into your brain.

_____

It wasn’t long after your first meetup with Jungkook that he started asking for tutoring help. Jungkook knew your schedule was busy and he didn’t want to pressure you into anything, but the more you were around Jungkook, the more desperate you were to help him. You have known him for so long and despite all your differences, he truly was and will always be one of your best friends. And best friends helped each other. Right?

“Hey—sorry I’m late,” you meet Jungkook in the back of the fourth floor of the library after your last class of the day. “I had a question about my lecture—“

“Y/N it’s fine,” Jungkook says softly, not looking up from his paper, “Don’t worry about it.”

You set down beside of him and begin to take your belongings out of your backpack and you notice Jungkook has already begun some work himself.

“How was classes today?” You ask him opening up your laptop. You give him a glance and he’s focused on the problem in front of him.

“It was alright, I slept through my first one at ten—“

“What’s that?” You ask as you let your eyes focus a little too close on his face. A cut lined across his jaw and up towards his left ear and you felt yourself begin to panic.  “Jungkook what—“

“Don’t worry about it,” he’s being cold and distant and you don’t like it. You look down his arms and onto his hands and notice some cuts and bruises there too. That’s when it hits you.

“Jungkook did you have a fight recently?” You keep your voice low so no one else could hear. He visibly tenses up beside of you and he adjusts his beanie on his to try and cover his ear area.

“Yeah,” he says simply, his eyes not looking at you one time, still focusing on the paper ahead.

“Jungkook,” your tone is deep and not happy, but you suppose there isn’t much you can do in this situation. Curiosity got the best of you and you ask, “What happened?”

“Let’s not talk about that okay?” He turns to you fully and you inwardly gasp, seeing that his right eye is half blacked behind his glasses. You feel sick to your stomach and your mouth parts. Again, you don’t say anything and just give him a nod.

The rest of the tutoring session with him goes smoothly and Jungkook has significantly picked up his understanding of his classes in a short amount of time, but in the back of your mind you wanted to scream. Scream at him. How could he be doing this to himself? He first told you he was fine. He sure doesn’t look fine. It’s getting close to 7 o’clock when you tell him you have to go get ready for your shift at the diner in an hour.

“We can pick up again whenever you need to,” you tell, “And text me if you have any questions.”

“What are you doing this weekend?” Jungkook completely ignores your sentences and you turn to him, trying not to stare at the faint of blue under his eye.

“Um, I have another shift tomorrow that starts at 7,” you tell him.

“Can you get off?” He asks almost nervously as the two of you begin to leave the library.

You chuckle, “Probably not, why?”

“Well, Taehyung and I are having a small get together at our apartment and I wanted to know if you and Jennie wanted to come?”

He sounds genuine and you know it could be fun and a little different from the chaotic frat scene that you’re used to.

“Sure, I’m sure Jennie will be down,” you give him a smile to which he returns one for the first time tonight. “If I can’t get off work I’ll just come after my shift.”

“Sounds good,” he says and you are about to part ways before he grabs your arm to stop you, “Thanks again Y/N, for helping me out,” there’s a glimmer in his eyes.

“No problem, it’s what a friend would do right?” You give him your best smile although it feels weird saying that. His face drops in the slightest way.

“Yeah…” he trails off, his hand trailing down your arm before letting go, “See you soon?”

You give him a nod, “See you soon.”

_____

Your shift at the diner tonight was being particularly slow for a Tuesday and you found yourself aimlessly making lattes for yourself every thirty minutes. You were slightly jacked from the caffeine but you knew you would need it once you went home to finish off the load of your homework for the night. Bedtime as of right now was looking to be 3 AM, possibly 4. Mark is once again working with you tonight which makes it all the more bearable, but the more you stand behind the counter, sipping your coffee, the more you realize you do not want to waste tomorrow night working.

“Hey, Mark,” you say and he looks up from his book.

“What’s up?” He asks, his eyes focussing on you.

“Would you care…. to possibly… take my shifts this weekend?” You ask slowly, dancing around the topic. His eyebrows furrow and you could tell that is not what he wanted to hear from you.

“I mean… I don’t care to, but can I ask why?”

Shit. You couldn’t say it was to go to a small party. That would be an automatic no.

“Well, I’ve been tutoring someone recently and it's taken away from my own study time, so I really need all weekend to catch up on all my shit,” you say smoothly. Not a complete lie, but he didn’t need to know you would be catching up on your “shit” tonight and not this weekend.

“Yeah, sure whatever,” he waves his hand off, “Just be sure to tell our manager before you leave.”

“Right… thanks Mark.”

“That means you owe me a shift in the future,” he says pointedly.

“Yeah, yeah, read your fucking book.”

_____

Friday was a blur. You went to sleep around 3:45 AM. Had to wake up at 7 AM for your 8 AM lecture, dragged your feet to your other classes, barely had time to eat anything, only consuming coffee to suppress your appetite in the afternoon, and now that you were home you couldn’t wait to lay in your bed for a few hours.

Jennie didn’t have classes on Friday’s—fuck her—so she had been chilling all day when you burst through the door exhausted.

“You look horrible,” she said as soon as you flopped down on the couch beside of her.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” you groan covering your eyes.

“Well you better get rested up before tonight,” she says.

“What’s tonight?” You mumble, nearly drifting off to sleep right then and there.

“Jungkook invited us to his apartment, that’s what you said last night,” she gave you a funny look before shaking her head.

Shit. You had forgotten about that throughout your drowsy state all day.

“Yeah, right,” you pause, looking at her through the crack of your arm, “Wake me up at 7 to get ready.” You stand up planning on taking the fattest nap of your life.

“I-I captain!” Jennie says sarcastically and it’s the last thing you hear before passing out on your bed, not even bothering to put a blanket over you.

_____

Jungkook and Taehyung’s apartment isn’t far from yours. You wouldn’t say the exterior is nicer than yours, but the abundance of buildings shows that their community is much larger than the one you and Jennie share.

“This is right?” Jennie asks as you knock on the door heavily.

“Yeah,” you say, faintly hearing music from the other side of the door.

The door swings open and to your surprise, it’s Taehyung.

“Jennie, Y/N!” He smiles widely at the two of you before ushering you in. “It’s been wayyyy too long! You guys want a drink?”

You take a second to look around their apartment, not seeing Jungkook anywhere. There’s about two dozen people here, some playing pong, others sitting around the living area. You knew Taehyung was feeling a little drunk despite it being only 9 from the way he grabs a couple cups, the entire tower of them falling over.

“How have you guys been?!” Taehyung pours some cheap tequila into your red solo cups and hands them over.

“Good, what about you?” Jennie smiles to him and Taehyung pours another shot for himself.

“Fucking great,” he says before putting his cup out. The three of you bump cups and down the tequila, a familiar burn hitting you instantly. It’s oddly reminiscent, the three of you drinking alcohol like there are no problems with the world.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, giving another glance around the apartment, only recognizing some of his frat brothers, but him still not to be found.

“He went to get more alcohol and some other things,” Taehyung says, pouring another shot for the two of you. “I heard the two of you finally got over your bullshit?”

You furrow your eyebrows and Jennie laughs. “W-what?” You have to laugh too, “Bullshit?”

“You know, how the two of you acted like neither of you existed? God it was so annoying hearing that little bitch talk about you constantly,” he rolls his eyes dramatically and Jennie eyes you suspiciously.

“Uh, yeah—“ you were unsure of what to say, “Heard you have a girlfriend now?” You change the subject quickly and Jennie raises her eyebrows at Taehyung.

“Really?” Jennie says almost passively. Taehyung doesn’t glance at you, only looking to Jennie.

“Yeah,” he says, “C’mon, drink your shit. The night is young and you guys need to catch up!”

“Or you need to slow down?” You offer and only giggles again. You down another shot and at this pace, you’ll be passed out by 11, Jennie by 10. You’ve always handle your alcohol better than her, but a shot every two minutes will do anyone in.

The three of you talk aimlessly, somewhat of an unresolved tension between Jennie and Taehyung that is impossible to avoid until you get some more alcohol in you. You’re about four shots of Jose Cuervo in and sipping on some type of seltzer when your phone buzzes in your hand.

[9:46 PM Namjoon] hey, wrud tonight

[9:46 PM You] at a friend’s place tonight, wbu

Your eyes are having trouble to focus as the alcohol begins to settle in your system. You remember vividly how you barely had any food today and you know you should stop drinking otherwise you might puke everywhere.

[9:48 PM Namjoon] damn, missing you. I believe you still owe me a rain check

You laugh at your phone.

[9:48 PM You] soon, I promise lol

“Jungkook! Fuck yes my brother!”

You instantly look up from your phone and see Jungkook walking through the front door, a case of beer in one hand and a brown bag in the other. He smiles as he sets down the case and bag of liquor as his brothers crowd around him to grab a can.

Do you go up to him? Yes, are you, stupid? But shouldn’t he look for you? What are you twelve?

Your internal monologue is interrupted when Taehyung pulls you over to Jungkook with a small push.  

“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook smiles, grabbing a beer for himself. He’s wearing a hat to cover his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile and he gives you a small, somewhat awkward hug.

“Glad you could make it,” he says, the bruises on his face from the other day already looking a lot better.

“I was not going to spend my Friday night at the restaurant,” you laugh, trying intensely to focus on his face and not zone in and out as you tend to do drunkenly.

“Jennie here?” He asks.

“Yeah, she’s uh,” you pause, actually not knowing where she went. “Oh, she’s playing pong with Taehyung.”

“Come on then,” he reaches out his hand, “Let’s play with them.”

“Jungkook I’m terrible, you know that—“

“I never said you were good, but for old times sake?” His brown eyes bore into yours and you give in, nodding your head and settling your hand into his. His hands are warm—always have been. Slightly rough and calloused but smooth—what the fuck, stop it!

The four of you, girls verses boys, start a new game of pong and you’re sure Jennie is just as bad as you. That’s evident when Jungkook and Taehyung lob four in, one after another. You’re lucky you get one in their cups. Jennie, too drunk at this point, can’t even throw straight. The whole sight is very funny as the four of you laugh like you’re the only ones in the room.

“Come on Y/N!” Taehyung yells, “I knew you were ass but really?!”

“Me! What about her!” You defend yourself as Jennie throws a ball at Jungkook’s head.

“At least Y/N can aim!” Jungkook laughs, defending you as well, rubbing his head from the plastic impact.

The game ends with Jungkook calling island and you don’t even care at this point. Pong was and never will be your favorite. Flip cup was your speciality and even Taehyung knew that. You find yourself sitting with Jungkook on their couch, legs tucked underneath you, watching at Taehyung and Jennie take on another round of pong with Jackson—a fraternity brother—and his long time girlfriend—Mina, maybe?

“Are you even drunk right now?” You deadpan Jungkook with your eyes and he gives you a small smile.

“Nah,” he says, “You are though,” he says pointedly drinking from his beer.

“Hey—“ you point, “Only a little,” you whisper close to his ear and he laughs at you again. “You sir, need to drink.”

Jungkook shakes his head before standing up, your eyes following up his jeans to his t-shirt clad chest. Has he always looked like this? You grab onto his extended hand and he leads you away from everyone and your heart rate quickens. Where are you going? What’s he doing?

To your relief, he takes to the small outside balcony, sliding the door nearly closed as you step out. There’s two other people out here smoking cigarettes that greet you and Jungkook curiously. You have seen these boys before, but you know they don’t recognize you. They obviously think you’re some random girl Jungkook has invited but—if they only knew.

The fresh air feels nice, but you can feel a chill running down your spine and you watch Jungkook’s frame go to a dark corner of the balcony, bending down to pick something off the ground.

“What are you doing?” You ask him and he turns back to you and you send some interesting paraphernalia in his hands.

“Not in a drinking mood tonight,” he says, his eyes leaving yours before focusing on the small glass bowl in his hands. He starts to pack it and you’re watching his every move closely. You never knew Jungkook to be a stoner, but the way he packs it quickly and begins to light it, tells you otherwise. He inhales through the end of the bowl deeply, exhaling once, before quickly taking another hit.

“Goddamn,” you laugh and he starts to cough a little bit, a small laugh coming from him.

Jungkook begins to walk back to the corner before you grab his shirt to pull him back.

“You heard of sharing is caring?” You say and he shakes his head.

“No, you’re drunk, you don’t need—“

“I want too,” you say. You hadn’t smoked in awhile, but you knew you could trust Jungkook. “Come on, I’m fine.”

Jungkook hesitates a little before he holds out the bowl. You take it and hold is securely between your lips. He lights the underside and you inhale deeply. The balcony begins to smell like weed, but it doesn’t bother you, it never has. You exhale and give him a small smile. He puts the illegal substances away and stands beside of you on the balcony.

“Alright, that will be five dollars,” he says and you turn to him, your mouth agape.

“Five dollars a hit? Kiss my ass,” you say and you suddenly begin to feel the effects of the marijuana, which makes you giggle a little too long.

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks you and you nearly feel like you could fall asleep.

“Exhausting,” you mumble, “I got like four hours of sleep last night and one of my professors had the audacity to tell me that my answer was wrong on my homework when literally five other people had the same answer and got it right. And then I had coffee as my meals and had a busting headache until I took the longest nap of my fucking life—“

“Slow down,” Jungkook interjects with a laugh, “Too much information that I’m not processing right now.”

You let out an “ugh” before saying, “I’ve had better days for sure.” You leave it at that. “What about you?”

He smiles before turning to you completely, “I’ve had better days, better weeks for sure.” He almost sounds annoyed now, like something is deeply bothering him.

You let a pause presume between the two of you, unsure of what to say. You know you shouldn’t bring it up, but you can’t help it. The bruises on his face, the cuts on his hands—you needed to know what happened to him. Despite your intoxicated state, you could form sentences and think pretty clearly and you weren’t letting Jungkook out of your sight without explaining himself.

“Jungkook,” you say in a whisper, looking around to see if the other guys had left. They had. “Are you gonna tell me what happened to your face?”

He looks down, almost embarrassed. “There was a fight on Tuesday,” he stops when you furrow your eyebrows at him.

“Tuesday?!” You half whisper, “What the hell are you doing fighting on a Tuesday? Jungkook you said—“

“It wasn’t an official fight Y/N,” he interrupts you, “I was fucking jumped with one of my friends,” he says and your eyes widen. You feel your head spinning and your mouth goes dry. From the weed, alcohol, or the conversation? You’re not sure.

“What?” You ask, worry filling your tone, “Jungkook what the fuck! You said you had this under control.”

“Keep your voice down!” He scolds, “I do have it under control, although you can’t really control when you get jumped.”

“W-why? Who would want—“

“His name is Eric. I beat him at the last real fight and I guess he’s a sore fucking loser. He wants a rematch and everything, said he was injured before the fight, so he sent some pussies to jump my friend Jimin and I.”

The information being taken in wasn’t something you wanted to hear. Was this stupid underground boxing that serious? And how stupid could Jungkook be to continue to do this?

“Well you’re not gonna fight him again,” you pause. He doesn’t look at you. “Are you?”

“There’s a lot of money on the line,” he says.

“Jungkook you’ve got to be joking.”

“I’m not Y/N,” he turns to you again, his body now closer than before. His knuckles gripping the railing are pale and cracked. “If I win this fight, I won’t need anymore money before the end of the year. Hell, I’ll probably even have some left over.”

“Okay? And?”

“Then I can be done with fighting,” he sounds genuine but insincere  at the same time. This greatly improves your posture and you feel your heartbeat calming down.

“B-but I figured you would need more money? Your parents Jungkook?” You stumble over some of your words.

“Y/N you don’t understand the money within these things, it’s insane. Trust me, I’ll be set with money for awhile. I just have to win that fight…”

You want to protest him. Tell him he shouldn’t do it, that he should find a normal job, get away from that stuff—but you stay silent. Jungkook always will be as stubborn as you and he seems to have made up his mind about this fighting stuff awhile ago. At the end of the day, whatever happens to him, isn’t necessarily your business.

“You know I’ll never agree with this,” you shake your head, looking down at Jungkook’s hands. They’ve relaxed against the railing and time has slowed down significantly. Every blink of your eyes seem to last 5 seconds and Jungkook could say the same thing.

“I know,” Jungkook steps towards you, overlapping one of his hands with yours, “But like I said, I trust you and you should trust me,” he almost sounds desperate. “Look at me,” he whispers and you slowly turn your head up. Your noses are nearly touching and you can smell him, your vision clouding in the dark.

“Do you trust me?” He asks quietly, licking his lips and you swallow, trying to find your breath.

You nod your head slowly, “Yes.”

You don’t know who leans in first, but when your lips meet, it’s like a siren goes off. The scene feels all too familiar. His lips are soft and they feel just like you remember. He’s gentle with you, his left hand holding your waist to pull you towards him, your bodies flush together. One of your hands finds their way to his hair and you pull him down closer to you. This feels good, really good—but isn’t this wrong? You two have just rekindled your relationship and you two didn’t even last four weeks before you two are snogging—the very reason your friendship became weird in the first place all those years ago.

You try to pull away, “Jungkook—“ he closes the gap once again and it’s like a drug—touch is like heroin in your veins. Both of you are hungry—hungry for each other. You’re not sure when, but you find yourself backed into the wall of the dark-side of the balcony. The door isn’t in view so anyone inside couldn’t see what was going on right now thank god.

“Y/N,” the groan sends your body into overdrive and he begins to trail his lips down your neck and you’ve pulled him so close to you there is barely room to breathe. It’s gotta be the alcohol—or the weed—or just Jungkook—but you’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. You squeeze your thighs together to find some unrelieved friction and Jungkook senses what you’re doing. He stops you, forcing is own leg between your crotch and you subtly moan.

“Fuck, shh,” Jungkook scolds and it makes you laugh as you check if anyone is coming to the door.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and he closes the gap between you again, covering your mouth gently and you genuinely feel butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook’s hand trails from your waist down to the front of you jeans and you pull away suddenly, “Jungkook w-what are you doing?!”

“Do you want me to do this?” He sounds mischievous as he pops open the button to your pants and you can safely say you never thought you would be in this situation with Jeon Jungkook of all people, but you are not about to stop him.

You kiss him this time, pulling on his hair, eliciting another delicious groan from him. His hand makes it way to your center and you shiver in the cold, his hands warm against your underwear. He rubs you through the material, once, twice, three times before he moves aside the fabric—the wetness covering his fingers instantly. You look towards the door again nervous that someone might walk out here and see the two of you compromised—you would die. Especially if it was Taehyung or Jennie.

“Quiet, alright?” Jungkook whispers and you nod biting your lip as he enters a finger into you. You close your eyes, mouth falling open. Your breathing picks up as he enters a second digit. His fingers are long and calloused as you noticed before but it feels so good. He brings one of your legs around his waist so he can get deeper into your center and a small, squeaky moan escapes from your mouth. Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you again and he begins to move his fingers in and out, curling them in all the right places, sending you into a silent mess.

You and Jungkook shouldn’t be doing this—not here, not right now, not ever. But you’re not doing anything to stop it. Neither is he. Is this suppose to be happening then? No—definitely yes. Wait, what? Your brain is so foggy you can’t even think straight.

Jungkook has added a third finger and it’s becoming harder and harder to stay quiet. Jungkook’s face in the crook of your neck, your neck in his—it’s all a little too intimate but it’s hot and heavy and it feels so good. Jungkook begins to use his thumb to find your clit, which he does with no problem—rubbing there and still moving in and out of you. Goddamn, he knows what he is doing.

“Jungkook, I’m gonna—“

“Shh,” he says, “Bite me, anywhere,” he says and you do as he says, your teeth clamping down onto his shoulder as you feel yourself falling off the edge. Your orgasm comes in a huge wave and it’s one of the best you’ve had in a long time—your body is shaking and you whimper into his shoulder, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Jungkook lets you finish before he pulls his hand out of your pants, letting your leg drop. You two stare at each other for a couple seconds, unsure of what to do now. You knew that Jungkook was hard in his pants but you weren’t sure if he wanted you to do anything about it. Should you ask? No that’s fucking weird. Well it’s fucking weird you just let your best friend of a billion years to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.

“Um,” he speaks first, “We should go back inside,” he says.

You nod, “Yeah, we should.”

You follow closely behind him as he slides the door open and you step back into the much warmer apartment.

“Y/N! Jungkook! What were you guys doing?!” Jennie pops out of nowhere until she steps back, “Fuck never mind, I can smell it,” she laughs, her eyes looking between the two of you. “What’s wrong with you two? Are you fighting again? Jesus fucking—“

“No, we’re fine, just high,” Jungkook gives her a reassuring smile and she nods absentmindedly. She is very drunk and then two of you might have to go home sooner than later.

“I need to call an Uber,” you say grabbing your phone from your pocket.

“I can drive you guys if you want,” Jungkook offers and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Absolutely not, you’re high.” You say pulling up the app on your phone.

“I’ve driven high before it’s not—“

“Jungkook, no,” you somewhat snap at him. This kid really knows how to grind your gears. “Thanks for inviting us, I just don’t want Jennie to do something she regrets tomorrow morning.” You try your best to lighten to mood but it’s not helping. As much progress as you and Jungkook had made the past few weeks, that all feels gone now. There’s heaviness with you and him and you hate it.

“Just let me know when you make it home?” Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read. He looks worried, anxious, high obviously, and other potential obscurities.

“I will, I promise,” you give him a smile and he returns one weakly. You look over your shoulder to find Jennie practically draping herself all over Taehyung. Fuck. “Jennie! Come on! We’re leaving,” you stomp over to the two of them and Taehyung doesn’t seemed bothered by Jennie throwing herself at him at all. If anything, they both seem to like it. “Jennie, quit, he has a girlfriend. Taehyung, you have a girlfriend,” you narrow at the both of them.

Taehyung laughs very drunkenly, “You’re right, come on Jen,” Taehyung pushes her away slightly and she stumbles over her feet.

“Our Uber is almost here,” you tell her and she nods.

“Sounds good,” she gives you a thumbs up. 

“Help me walk her Tae?” You ask and he nods.

As you and Taehyung have Jennie up around your shoulders, you look around the apartment to find Jungkook to tell him bye, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

_____

It had been exactly one week since you’ve seen Jungkook. Since he was fist deep into your vagina, pleasuring you with at least 20 people in the room next to you. It has also been the last time you spoke to him. He didn’t reach out for any tutoring this week which was odd—as the two of you set a schedule for it a few weeks back. You were worried. You knew you should reach out to him and talk about what happened—but something was holding you back. You didn’t want to talk over the phone. It had to be done in person and it just had to be done. You didn’t want to lose Jungkook a second time to another drunken mistake.

Mistake? Since when was it a mistake? Was it a mistake?

You had no idea.

It’s why you’ve found yourself at Jungkook’s apartment a week later, waiting for someone to open the door. You wait patiently and no one answers the door. You’re about to give up when a voice startles you.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

Taehyung appears to your left and you jump.

“Shit Taehyung,” you hold a hand over your chest, “I’m sorry, I-I was just wondering if Jungkook was home?”

Taehyung adjusts his backpack. He must be getting back from class. “He’s probably at the gym.”

You nod slowly, “Alright, thank you.”

“No problem,” he says and you’re about to walk away and he stops you again, “Everything okay?”

You open your mouth and close it again, “Not sure,” you tell him honestly. He nods without another word, seeming to understand where you’re coming from.

If your assumptions were right, Jungkook would be at a gym about ten minutes from campus, one he frequented as a freshman all that time ago. You wanted everything to be okay, but now, you were sure you have done fucked it up once again.

The gym isn’t crowded and you don’t recognize any cars to be Jungkook’s so your mood begins to dampen as you walk towards the front door. The bell rings and you probably look like an idiot walking in with jeans and sandals, but your eyes ignore the stares as you try to find Jungkook. You walk through the gym towards the back, your neck craning each direction to find him. It smells of sweat and grit, something you haven’t done too much of lately. You’re about to give up until you reach the back, where a cracked door leads into another section of the gym. You open the crack slowly and the sounds of grunting and hard hits fill the room. You stop in your place as your eyes land on Jungkook, downing boxing gloves, a pair of shorts, and nothing else. You gulp.

He’s hitting a heavy bag hard and fast, his movements halting only for a split second before he strikes again. He’s dripping in sweat and you gulp again. Should you interrupt? He’s definitely not expecting you therefore you probably shouldn’t barge in but you’re already here, so what are you supposed to do?

“Come on Jungkook,” another man’s voice comes into play. You’ve never seen this guy with mint colored hair. “Throw a southpaw, let’s go!” 

Jungkook’s stance quickly changes and he’s throwing his right arm and then uppercutting his left arm with all of his weight. 

“Nice Jungkook,” the voice says again. Jungkook steps back with a smile on his face, looking behind him. 

“Hey,” a different voice yells over and you stop to see who it is. A guy slightly shorter than Jungkook appears in the crack of the door, a wide smile across his face.

“Good news, fight is set,” the guy smiles, although his smile reads less than enthusiastic. You notice some bruising along this guys arms, a large scrap on the side of his face. This has to be Jimin, the other guy that was jumped with Jungkook. 

“When is it?” Jungkook breathes heavily, his hair sticking to his forehead as he tries to push it back through his gloves.

“October thirteenth,” Jimin says, “A Friday.”

Jungkook laughs, “A fucking Friday the thirteenth? How cheesy could they get?”

You swallow harshly. October 13th was a less than three weeks away. You’re sure they are talking about the fight with the guy named Eric that Jungkook mentioned.

“I know right,” the nameless guy says, “But I’m sure you’ll kick his ass once again, waste of your time.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice Jimin,” Jungkook sounds annoyed and you’re starting to wonder if you should have came here at all. 

“Come on, let’s do some more sets,” the other guy says says, patting Jungkook on the shoulder.

You take in a deep breath, hoping that this doesn’t backfire. You take your chance and open the door to the room as if you just showed up. Jungkook, Jimin, and the third guy turns to you.

“Y/N?” Jungkook asks, looking confused, “What are you doing here?”

You glance around the room awkwardly, “Uh, I-uh, went to your apartment to see you if you were a-and Taehyung said you were here, so,” you sound like a babbling idiot.

Jungkook’s eyes soften and it’s hard to not stare below his neck, but somehow you manage.

“Jimin, Yoongi this is Y/N,” Jungkook formally introduces you, “She’s a friend.” A friend. That hurt more than it should have.

“Hi,” Jimin gives you a sweet smile and he seems like a person Jungkook would automatically gravitate towards. Yoongi stays quiet. He’s definitely not someone you would strike as Jungkook’s friend. 

“Sorry if I’m interrupting—I didn’t know…” you trail off, feeling more than awkward in this situation.

“No worries,” Jimin shakes his head, “We were almost done anyways.”

Jungkook’s eyes haven’t met yours since you’ve walked in. He’s staring at Jimin and knowing Jungkook, he’s going to try and leave as soon as he can.

“Wanna meet again tomorrow?” Jimin asks towards Jungkook as he packs up his bag on the floor.

“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook mutters, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. “I’m gonna stay here for a little longer though.”

“Alright,” Jimin says, “It was nice to meet you Y/N.”

You smile to him, “You too.”

Jimin and Yoongi leave the room and the silence is suffocating. You cross your arms around your chest feeling vulnerable and insecure. You look at Jungkook and he’s staring at you now. He looks away from you before turning back to the bag, lining up to strike it again.

“Jungkook,” your voice interrupts his chance to punch. He pauses with one more glance to your frame. You begin to walk closer to him wanting to get this over and done with. “What’s wrong with you?” You ask.

Jungkook looks down, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters and you nearly jump out of your body when he begins to strike the bag in quick, calculated motions. The bag moves backwards with each punch and his face tenses up, his mind clearly on one thing and one thing only. You exhale deeply, trying to stay calm. If that’s the way he’s going to play—you won’t keep your cool for long.

“Jungkook, stop,” you raise your voice over his movements and he suddenly quits, looking up at you again. “Don’t do this right now,” you say stepping closer to him again.

“What do you want Y/N, I’m busy alright,” he scoffs, stepping away from the bag, turning fully to you. You wish he didn’t look good drenched in sweat but it was hard to stay focused when he was looking like that.

“You know exactly what I want. You haven’t spoken to me in a fucking week Jungkook,” your words are fiery despite your cool demeanor.

“Is that really that big of an issue? We barely spoke for two years until recently,” he sounds annoyed, but also timid—you can sense something is bothering him.

You frown, “Yeah until recently because I thought we moved past that.”

He doesn’t say anything. And that’s what boils your blood. Tears are threatening to spill from your eyes—not from sadness, but frustration.  

“So is that it? I let you finger fuck me and now I don’t mean anything to you anymore?” Your words are seething and once you say this, Jungkook’s face softens that slightest bit.

“What? No Y/N—“

“Then what the fuck is wrong with you? What have I done?!” It takes all of you not to breakdown right there. You just got Jungkook back. You couldn’t lose him a second time.

“Y/N listen,” Jungkook takes off his boxing gloves, throwing them in the floor, “You haven’t done anything alright. It’s just—complicated,” he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. He tries to grab one of your hands but you pull away from him.

“No, no you don’t get to do that,” you say, “What happened to communicating Jungkook? Wasn’t that our issue all that time ago?”

He looks down and back up. You really wish he would put a shirt on. “I know, I know…” he wanders off, “If I could tell you I would, but I’m just under a lot of stress right now and—“

“Then tell me what’s wrong,” you don’t want to interrupt him, but you feel like you two are going in an endless circle. Jungkook steps towards you once again and this time you don’t back away from him.

“Look, I’m sorry alright. I shouldn’t have cut you off this past week—I just thought it would clear my head,” he says. With hesitation, he grabs your wrists gently, “That was stupid I get that okay? I’m sorry, especially after… what happened,” he says and you can tell he means it. Jungkook is a genuine person, you can’t argue that.

Your face warms up and you feel almost embarrassed. Were you overreacting?

“I just don’t understand,” you mutter, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions but Jungkook, you’re worrying me. I don’t know what’s going on with us and this whole boxing thing is keeping me awake at night.”

He intertwines your fingers together and it’s comforting. Comfort you’ve been missing ever since a week ago. “Y/N, please just trust me okay? If I can get through these next few weeks I’m set and I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“How can you promise that?” You look up fully at him and you’re a lot closer than moments ago.

“I don’t to make promises I can’t keep.”

You sure hoped he was right.

_____

Two weeks have gone by since your talk with Jungkook in the gym. He had resumed talking to you normally, although there was still something off about him. Then again, there was something off with you too. The intimate situation the two of you found yourself in a few weeks back, still hadn’t been fully discussed and it bothered you like no other. It bothered you because you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want it to happen again—or even further. Fuck, you shouldn’t be thinking about Jungkook like this. But don’t you have a right to? Jesus you were so confused. It’s why you have found yourself at Beta Tau Sigma once again on a Saturday night, Jennie already lost in tow somewhere, and you’re standing with Namjoon. Even though your mind was clouded with Jungkook, Namjoon was good company at keeping you distracted.

“What’s up with you lately?” Namjoon asks handing you another drink. You furrow your brows before taking a sip. Your face scrunches up at the taste—not the best.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Don’t play stupid,” he says. You don’t even try to make up a lie. Namjoon is too smart for that.

“I don’t know, Joon,” you sigh, “I’ve just been going through a lot lately I guess,” you mutter over the loud music.

“I get it,” he says, “Wanna talk about it?”

You’re about to answer him when you suddenly spot a familiar head of dark brown hair across the room. It’s Jungkook and he’s with a girl—you recognize her from somewhere. She’s standing in front of him and he’s smirking down at her and says something that makes her laugh. Then you know where you’ve seen her before—the bathroom girl. Fuck her, you don’t even realize you roll your eyes.

Namjoon laughs, “Whoa, what was that for?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“W-what?” You look back to him and he follows where your eyes had been.

“Looking at Jungkook, eh?” He smirks, “Something going on between you two?”

You shake your head immediately, “No. Absolutely not.”

You didn’t know if that was a lie or not. Sure, Jungkook and you may have swapped some bodily fluids recently, but nothing else. You were also keeping a secret of his, one that if Namjoon found out about—would have him kicked out of the frat faster than he could blink. You glance back over to Jungkook one more time and find his eyes scanning the room. They land on you within 5 seconds and he shifts uncomfortably in front of bathroom girl.

“You sure?” Namjoon finds this situation funny. You don’t.

“Shut up,” you push on his chest slightly and he grabs your hand, pulling you towards him.

“Oh I can make you shut up,” he mumbles and you laugh as he closes the distance between the two of you. Namjoon’s lips are always soft and plump but that doesn’t mean he is always the most gentle. Namjoon is rough and sometimes—it’s just what you need. Jungkook’s lips on—

You pull away quickly from him. What the fuck?

“You okay?” He asks with concern.

You nod your head, “Yeah, I, just uh need some air,” you say. It was true—your head was now spinning and the alcohol wasn’t helping. You couldn’t believe you thought of Jungkook when kissing Namjoon.

“Alright, I’ll be by the bar.”

You leave Namjoon’s side and push your way through the hoards of people and loud music. You spot a door towards the back of the kitchen and use that as your opportunity. The air is cool but crisp. Just what you needed. There’s quite a few people outside surrounding a large bonfire keeping warm. You relax against the porch railings, staring aimlessly at the ground beneath you. You pour your drink out, knowing you don’t need to drink anymore of it. You nearly shit yourself when a voice comes up directly behind you.

“Y/N.”

You whip around, clutching your chest. “Jesus Christ Jungkook,” you say. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, a large flannel and sweatshirt covering his torso. He approaches you hastily and you don’t take your eyes off of his.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” he says, obviously trying to make small talk.

“I didn’t either until Namjoon asked me this evening,” you say and you instantly regret bringing up his name. Jungkook stiffens.

“Still good friends with him I see,” he bites his lip nervously, looking over to the bonfire. You squint your eyes at him. He sounds off and annoyed.

“I see you’re still friends with bathroom girl,” you shoot back. You’re not even drunk, barely tipsy, but the thought of Jungkook being annoyed at you and Namjoon nearly sends you. At least you know Namjoon well—the only Jungkook knows about that girl is her fucking mouth.

“Gotta an issue with that?” He runs his tongue against his mouth and he looks at your from the side.

You turn to him and this feels all too familiar. “Yeah, actually I do.”

“Well, I have an issue kissing Namjoon in front of me—are we even?” He cocks his head to the side and you’ve never felt more annoyed yet turned on at the same time.

“Whatever,” you brush him off running a hand through your hair, turning back to your front staring at the fire. “Last time I checked I don’t take orders from you.”

“I know,” he says and you feel him push his body against your side. Your breathing instantly picks up and you bite the inside of your cheek to steady yourself. One of Jungkook’s hands finds its way to your shoulder, trailing it down to your elbow, then pushing it through the crack of your arm to settle on your waist.

“Jungkook,” you say quietly, not wanting to bring any attention to the two of you. Jungkook’s head leans down, his temple brushing against yours. His hand rubs gentle circles on your waist and you inhale his scent deeply. Fuck. “Jungkook… are you drunk?”

He shakes his head, “No, are you?” You believe him. He doesn’t smell like alcohol nor does he seem tipsy.

“No,” you say. Jungkook pulls you impossibly closer to him and your throat feels like its closing up.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook asks and you turn your head up, your noses brushing together. What? When has he ever been this upfront? You hesitate to answer but soon nod slowly—just once—you needed to feel it again—just once again. He closes the gap between you and you nearly melt into him. One of your hands grabs his face gently, pulling him down to you. Your own hands find their way to his fluffy hair, entangling into the locks. He presses himself into you and you feel your heart beating out of your chest. You let out a small whine when he pulls on your lip with his teeth and it shakes you back to reality.

You pull away from him—your entire body on fire. He’s got you trapped against the railing and you don’t trust the old wood to support your weight much longer.

“Jungkook,” you whisper and you feel something hard pressing into your front and your throat goes dry.

“Come home with me,” he says, “Please.” Desperation. That’s what laces his tone and you’re sure your heart left from your chest. But—you know this isn’t a good idea. Blame it on being sober, but you’re not sure you should go there with Jungkook. Not right now at least. Your head was spinning and as much as you wanted to—you couldn’t.

“Jungkook,” your eyes focus on his chest, watching your hands grip his shirt gently. “I—We can’t, we shouldn’t,” you bite your lip nervously.

“Please Y/N,” he nuzzles his forehead into yours, his grip on your getting tighter, “I need you, please—“

“Jungkook, no,” you push him off of you carefully and he looks hurt and confused. “I’m sorry, I—I want to but—“

“But what?” Once again, he looks sad and maybe a little angry now? “II’m not Namjoon? Is that it?”

You shake your head, not able to find a good answer in your head. His hands drop from your side and so does your stomach. Without another glance at your frame, Jungkook walks away, pulling at the roots of his hair.

You get home alone that night. Fuck. You think you really may have messed up this time. No, Jungkook wasn’t Namjoon but Namjoon could never be Jungkook. The history the two of you have... god you were so confused. You’re not sure you’ve ever felt gravity pull you to someone more since recently, that someone being Jungkook. As confused as your feelings were, you cry some in your bed. You don’t sleep that night, worried that whatever wedge is driving itself between you and Jungkook again—won’t be fixable this time.

_____

Jungkook, maybe much not to your surprise, cuts you off again the next week. You haven’t spoken or seen him since the party. Since he wanted you to go home with him and you nearly did, but thankfully you used your head some. You missed seeing his face dearly and missed his smile even more. When did things get so complicated with you and him? Ever since fucking graduation in high school—nothing has been the same. It’s been years and years and it’s something you’ve never gotten over. The more you think about it, the obvious reasons begin to show. Maybe Jungkook means more to you than you thought? Maybe he wasn’t just supposed to be your best friend? What if you two had been destined for something else all this time? Or maybe you weren’t meant to be friends at all?

Your thoughts are interrupted when a familiar face walks into your shift at the diner. Taehyung is by himself, his backpack thrown lazily over one of his shoulders. He looks tired, but just like you, getting through the day. His eyes meet yours and give him a small smile.

“Sit wherever,” you tell him and he decides to sit along the bar, sitting across from where you stand.

“Good evening,” he gives you a small smile, running a hand over his face.

“Hey Tae,” you breathe out, handing him a menu. He holds up his hand, not wanting it.

“Just get me a latte, extra espresso please,” he says and you nod.

“Coming right up.”

It doesn’t even take you a minute to make lattes now. The process has become so familiar it’s become second nature. Mainly due to your own obsession with lattes and your determination to perfect them yourself. You top the mug off with some foam before sliding it over to Taehyung. He doesn’t wait for it to cool before taking a big gulp.

“Rough day?” You ask, leaning forward on your elbows.

“You don’t even know,” he grumbles, “I had a quiz in my hardest class today that I didn’t know about, therefore didn’t study for,” he pauses, “I had to pick up all the slack on a group project that’s due on Saturday and then I have had to deal with Jungkook’s dumbass all week and he was at his worst this morning,” he rolls his eyes.

The mention of Jungkook makes your heart flutter yet stomach feel nauseated, “What’s wrong with Jungkook?”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you, “Don’t you know?”

“Um… he hasn’t talked to me in a week,” you look down at your hands, your mouth dry.

“Jesus fuck,” Taehyung groans, “No wonder he’s been in such a fucking mood. What did he do?”

You weren’t sure how to go about your answer. Um, yeah, so like Jungkook wanted me to go home with him to have sex and I did too and I didn’t and I don’t know why. Sounds great.

“It wasn’t him. It was me,” you pause, “He asked me to go home with him.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen slightly, a small smirk on his face, “Did you?”

You shake your head, “No, I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to but…” you trail off, slightly embarrassed to be telling Taehyung this.

“Goddammit,” he nearly laughs, “No wonder he’s pissy. Between you and tomorrow, kid’s got his work cut out.” You pick up Taehyung joking around but you still furrow your eyebrows.

“What’s tomorrow?” You ask.

“The 13th. Did he not tell you?” Fuck. His fight. Without talking to Jungkook everyday, you had forgotten about the fight.

“He mentioned it.”

“Are you going?” The question catches you off guard.

“What, oh no,” you shake your head, “No, he didn’t ask and I don’t think that’s something I wanna see anyways.”

“Trust me, he wants you there,” he says, “He’s just being a dick.”

“He’s got a funny way of showing it,” you snap. “Every time something happens between us… he shuts me off. I don’t fucking get it.”

“Y/N he does this to everyone when he’s stressed,” Taehyung pauses, “Especially since, you know,” he shrugs. The fights.

You nod, “I get it,” you slump, “It’s still frustrating.”

“You don’t have to tell me that—at least you don’t live with him,” he gives you a laugh and you send a smile in return.

“How do you feel about it?” You ask him genuinely, “The boxing I mean…”

Taehyung squints his eyes briefly, “I think it’s stupid personally,” this answer warms your heart until he continues, “But if I was as good as Jungkook I would probably do it too. The money in these things are insane.”

You raise your eyebrows, “So I’ve heard.”

Taehyung nods before he gets a text on his phone. He reads it before smiling.

“Your girlfriend?” You probe curiously.

He clears his throat, “Uh, yeah,” he responds quickly before turning his phone over. “So, what exactly is going on between you two?”

“Uh, what do you mean?” You laugh sarcastically.

Taehyung deadpans his face, “You know what I mean. I know you guys have this weird chemistry, it’s obvious. Plus he hasn’t shut up about you since you started tutoring him. Y/N this, Y/N that… it’s disgusting.”

Did Jungkook really talk about you?

“Ask him, not me because I don’t even fucking know. I could tell you what Kim Namjoon and I are before I could define mine and Jungkook’s relationship.” You let out a laugh and other eye roll.

“I’m assuming you and hyung are… what do they say? Friends with…?”

“Yeah yeah whatever you wanna call it,” you swat your hand slightly embarrassed.

“Jungkook hates it you know,” he says, switching tones. “You and Namjoon.”

You slightly snort, “And why is that?” You could tell Jungkook didn’t like seeing you with Namjoon, even before last weekend after he voiced it.

“Because he knows Namjoon is the type of guy you’ve always wanted, not him.” This takes you completely off guard.

“Why would Jungkook care about that?” You furrow.

Taehyung shrugs, staying silent this time. You weren’t stupid—you knew what Taehyung was implying by saying what he said. It makes your stomach drop. Maybe Jungkook felt more for you than he supposed to as well?

“So are you gonna come tomorrow?” He asks.

“No Taehyung,” you say, “I don’t want to see Jungkook get the shit beat out of him.”

“Jungkook won’t get the shit beat out of him, I can promise you that.”

You eyes glance over to the door as a small group of people walk into the diner. You don’t say anything else to Taehyung as you walk over to greet them. You seat them and make your way back to Taehyung, but you can’t chat much longer as you now have a table to tend to.

“Listen Y/N,” Taehyung stops you before you can walk back over with menus for the group, “If you wanna come, just text me. Like I said Jungkook wants you there, whether he’s said so or not. Also, another latte please, you’re slacking woman.”

You swat him with the menus before walking away from him. Goddamn, these next 24 hours were going to be hell.

_____

You couldn’t remember the last time you were ever this nervous for someone aside from yourself in a very long time. You remember how nervous you were in high school when you got injured and Jennie had to double with a girl on the bench of the tennis team. You remember being nervous for your parents when you left for college. And now, you don’t ever recall a moment in your life where you have been this nervous for Jeon Jungkook of all people.

It was Friday at 3:43 PM and you day was slow but painless, and you had no official plans set for the evening. Taehyung had texted you, wondering if you wanted to hitch a ride along with him to the match. You had yet to answer him. His text mocking you from your screen and you wanted to pretend that you knew nothing of the boxing match but that was impossible.

[You 3:59 PM] What time should I be ready

You send the message before you could regret it and delete it. Jennie has yet to be home from going to the store and you would need a good, yet believable excuse for your absence tonight.

[Taehyung 4:00 PM] i’ll pick you up around 8

[You 4:00 PM] Sounds good. Have you spoken to Jungkook today?

[Taehyung 4:02 PM] no he’s been quiet all day. have you?

[You 4:02 PM] Nope

You don’t receive another text from him and you slump down on your couch. It had been nearing two full weeks since Jungkook had spoken to you. You felt like all of this was your fault, sending him mixed signals and unsure of your own feelings for him. From the secretive finger fuck to the gentle kiss you shared last week, Jungkook was on your mind 24/7—aside from taking exams of course—but he was all you could think about lately. Growing up, you obviously loved Jungkook and was practically glued to his hip, but even then you don’t recall thinking about him every single fucking second.

You pull at the roots of your hair and let out a frustrated groan. Maybe you should reach out? After all, without your initiation of friendship all those years ago, you wouldn’t be here now.

You pick up your phone and find Jungkook’s contact and before you can stop yourself, you tap the call button. Your hands are clammy and you know he probably won’t answer, but it’s worth a try. The line rings for about thirty seconds before it goes dead. That dumbass doesn’t even have voicemail set up.

Pissed off even more, you slam your phone against the coffee table and let out an exasperated ‘fuck’ before going to your room to take a nap. Fuck Jeon Jungkook, is the last thought you have before you drift off into sleep.

_____

Taehyung picked you up at 8:02, though you told Jennie it was Namjoon who picked you up and the two of you were having a night in. You think she believed it but left her before she could ask anymore questions.

“I just don’t fucking get it Taehyung, one second he’s fine and another he’s like a child throwing a fit,” you filled Taehyung in on how you tried to call him but to no avail.

“You don’t have to tell me how he is Y/N, I fucking live with the guy,” he groans from his drivers seat. “I just think he’s going through a lot right now… with school, his parents, the boxing, you… he’s never handle stress that well you know that.”

You let out a sigh, leaning against the window, “It’s just so frustrating trying to help him only to get cut off like this…”

Taehyung looks at you with an eyeful glance though you don’t notice. “Y/N, in his eyes you’ve cut him off too, you do realize that right?”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What? No I haven’t?”

“Come on the little brat can’t keep his mouth shut. I know what happened with you two a couple weeks ago,” he says. You don’t say anything, cheeks getting warm. “And the weeks before that on our fucking balcony—“

“Okay what then Tae!” You interrupt him, too embarrassed by the memory.

“Jungkook is trying Y/N,” he says with a hint of a smirk, “He thinks you’re rejecting him,” Taehyung says matter-of-factly.

“Rejecting? C’mon Taehyung you know that I—“

“I know that you and Jungkook like each other, even though neither one of you have said anything, Jennie says it too.”

You narrow your eyebrows at your friend. “I don’t know what I think about Jungkook okay?” You’re being honest. You know you like Jungkook… but you’re scared of what that entails for the future. You want Jungkook in your future, you just don’t know what the right path is.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything else as he pulls his car into a fairly full parking garage. It’s dimly lit and slightly freaks you out. Taehyung had to drive to the other side of the city to get here and you don’t recognize the neighborhood around.

“Stay close to me, alright?” Taehyung opened your door for you and you nod without any argument. You follow Taehyung out of the parking garage into the chilly air and you huddle by his side. The two of you walk down a couple streets before he turns down a dark, dimly lit alleyway.

“Taehyung what the fuck,” you whisper and come to a halt. His brown eyes bleed into yours despite the darkness and he takes your hand into his.

“It’s okay,” he says reassuringly, “I promise.”

You nod reluctantly and the you continue to walk down the alley, coming to a stop at the end where you spot the familiar face of Min Yoongi. He’s standing down a small flight of stairs beneath you two and he greets Taehyung with a stiff smile.

“Taehyung, what’s up,” he says, his eyes immediately looking over at you, “Y/N?”

You tighten your grip around Taehyung’s hand, Yoongi’s stare quite intimidating.

“She should be on Jungkook’s list.”

You stay quiet knowing Taehyung doing the talking is the best strategy. Yoongi looks down at a clipboard—old fashioned but effective you guess—before nodding.

“You guys are good. Hurry and find a seat, there’s a lot of people down here tonight.”  

“You got it,”  Taehyung gives him a small smile before you drag behind him down the stairs and enter through a heavy door. You already hear plenty of commotion as you enter a huge space a few feet from the door. Your eyes look around and you could see nearly a hundred people just in your line of sight.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung says.

“What?” You get nervous by his tone.

“I’ve never seen this many people here, goddamn.”

“Why are there so many people here?” You spot a large boxing ring, dead center of the room and your mouth goes dry.

“I guess people like rematches?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, noticing how some eyes are staring at you, making you shift uncomfortably in your boots.

“Probably in the locker rooms… wanna see him?” He asks.

You bite your lip. “Does he wanna see us?” You hope Taehyung says yes. It’s killing you inside not being able to see him, hear him.

“Guess we’ll find out, c’mon,” he smirks and you follow him closely. As you look around, you do notice people you somewhat recognize. Whether it’s from walking around on campus or some of your classes, all these faces are not too unfamiliar. Taehyung takes you away from the crowd of people, through another set of doors and down another hallway. With this much walking and standing, you would have worn something other than booties. You enter the “locker room” area and you suddenly feel queasy. What if Jungkook is mad that you’re here? What if he doesn’t want to see you after all? What if—

“Y/N?” Your thoughts are broken by a honey-like voice and you focus in on the source. Jungkook sits a few feet away from you and Taehyung, back leaning against a wall. He looks confused, but also pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing here?” He gets up and does the unexpected—he embraces you in a tight hug. You return it without a second though, holding him close to you. He pulls away from you after a few moments and gives Taehyung a small hug too.

“Hey,” you say shyly.

“How are you feeling?” Taehyung asks his friend and Jungkook shrugs.

“I’m alright.” Jungkook looks at you again. “I didn’t think you’d ever come to one of these,” he laughs awkwardly.

“Me either,” you say with no expression. As much as you wanted to be happy—you couldn’t. You were pissed at Jungkook for ignoring you and you were pissed that Jungkook was about to fight. You eye his frame, a white t shirt and navy sweatpants hang low on his hips. He looks calm, too calm for your liking.

“Will you give us a minute?” Jungkook suddenly turns to Taehyung and he nods glancing at you.

“I’ll get some seats.”

Taehyung leaves you and Jungkook alone and you nearly feel like crying. What the fuck is this mess?

“Y/N listen to me,” Jungkook says stepping towards you, “I’m so sorry about thess past two weeks. I-I’ve been a dick for no fucking reason and it’s not fair to you.”

You don’t say anything as you stand there with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Fuck I know I’m idiot and there’s no excuse… I’ve just been so stressed lately and you’re the best fucking part of my day—“

“Well why don’t you fucking act like it Jungkook? I’m sick of something happening between us and you acting like a I don’t exist for god knows what reason,” you raise your voice slightly.

“Y/N I,” he pauses, his hands finding their way to your shoulders, “I haven’t been honest with you and,” he pauses again and you feel your heart speed up. What’s he talking about? “I just wanna say—“

“Jungkook, you got five minutes,” the two of you turn to Park Jimin who seemed to come in at the wrong time.

“Fuck,” he says, “We’ll talk after okay?”

You nod hesitantly and before you can push yourself away from him, Jungkook places a kiss on your forehead and it makes your insides melt. Fuck, you meet his brown eyes, biting your lip nervously. 

A revelation springs into your mind; you think you might love him. He pulls you in for another hug, though this is one much shorter as Jimin is ushering you out of the locker room in the blink of an eye.

As much as you wanted to be mad at Jungkook, those thoughts had quickly subsided and replaced with butterflies and nausea. Did you really love Jungkook? You always have, but the feeling in the pit of your heart is pulling you to a different type of love. You cared about him, sometimes even more than yourself. You’ve always wanted the best for him, even if that meant sacrificing your feelings in the process. Now you were stuck between a rock in a hard place, much like you were back in high school when you had a crush on Jungkook. Fuck. And now you have to watch him fight someone like dogs,  

You shake yourself from your thoughts, as loud music flows through your ears and you look around for Taehyung. Luckily, his ashy hair color is easy to spot amongst the crowd and you push yourself to him, squeezing in between bodies and their chatter.

“My bet’s on Jeon,” a voice says.

“Fuck no, Eric isn’t gonna let the same guy beat him twice.”

You try to ignore the snide comments about Jungkook and when you get to Taehyung, he greets you with a smile.

“Hey, everything good?” He asks.

You lick you dry lips, “I don’t know,” you say honestly. Taehyung’s eyes drop and he nods. 

Suddenly, all the lights go out in the venue and a roar of screams and cheers fills the void. You stay still, pressing your body close to Taehyung. It’s not that you feel unsafe, but this environment—it wasn’t for you at all. You heart rate quickens when a man, give a few years on your age, gets into the boxing ring before you, the crowd cheering even louder for him. He bumps a microphone with his palm before bringing it to his mouth.

“Welcome, welcome!” He beams with a smile, “What an outstanding turnout we have tonight! You guys choose a good one to watch because tonight is the rematch of two of the best fighters I’ve seen in a long time…”

“Let’s give a welcome to our first fighter, weighing in at 148 pounds, 5 foot 11, Jeon Jungkook!”

Being an underground fighting ring, there isn’t a posse escorting Jungkook to the ring. He’s got Jimin by his left side, Min Yoongi on the right. Jungkook is shirtless, wearing only a pair of navy shorts, black and white boxing gloves on his hands. He enters the ring with cheers and you inhale and exhale deeply. You look up at Taehyung and he gives you a nod of reassurance to calm down. Jungkook jumps around in place a few times, shaking his arms and shoulders out. From your seat, you can’t read his eyes or facial expression—but he looks calm and unnerved.

“Coming in next, weighing in at 145 pounds, 6 feet tall, Kim Eric!”

Jungkook’s opponent walks in next, three guys surrounding him. He walks slow and steady, his bare chest tattooed beautifully, his boxing gloves a dark red. He enters the ring to cheers and this Eric guy’s gaze doesn’t leave Jungkook’s body one time. Jungkook hasn’t spared one glance at the guy and you find yourself somewhat smiling. Jungkook has always been a cocky-fuck when it’s come to sports which would usually annoy you, but here right now—he looked hot as fuck standing there as if he had no care in the world. Jungkook stands on the left corner of the ring, sitting on a small stool as Jimin and Yoongi talk to him. Jungkook nods, absorbing their information. Eric and his guys do the same.

Suddenly, both men stand and Jimin is putting a mouth guard in Jungkook’s mouth and with one last nod, he finally looks over at Eric, who has already made his way to the center of the ring with the announcer. Jungkook stalks over slowly, his eyes dark and hungry.

“Alright guys, I want a clean fight. No kicking, no cheap shots. If you get knocked down, I give you ten seconds to get up. You look me in the eyes and say you’re good before anymore fighting happens alright. We go for five rounds, unless more is needed. A knockout wins. Touch gloves.”

Jungkook sticks out his gloves for Eric but Eric only stares at him, ignoring the sign of solidarity.

“Fuck you,” Eric says to Jungkook and sends a chill down your spine. Jungkook rolls his eyes, backing away from him, but stays silent.

“Alright… ready… fight!”

Time slows as a bell rings loudly, the cheers get even louder, and you find yourself gripping Taehyung’s arm for support. Jungkook starts to move around the ring slowly, but Eric isn’t having that—immediately rushing to Jungkook to get a few jabs in. Jungkook manages to dodge them perfectly before Eric can corner him. Jungkook keeps his gloves high and never looks away from Eric. Eric comes after Jungkook again, jabbing once—twice—the third time hitting Jungkook square in the face.

“Shit,” you breathe out, eyes widening.

This time, Jungkook comes for Eric, his jabs coming quick and calculated, landing Eric in the body once. Jungkook jabs again and hits him in the face. Eric moves around quickly, Jungkook not quick to follow him. Eric comes after him again, Jungkook blocking his jabs, but missing at the end, leading to Jungkook getting hit in the face once again as well as a body shot.

Eric is coming in hot, throwing punches and jabs left and right, making Jungkook dance around to dodge them. After a few moments, Jungkook begins to fight back, landing Eric square in the face twice. You notice that Jungkook must have busted Eric’s lip as blood now protrudes from his mouth. This seems to send Eric into overdrive and attacks Jungkook quick and fast. You cover your mouth when Eric has Jungkook trapped against the rope, landing body punches after body punches.

“Alright!! Enough, break it up!!” The announcer gets Eric off of Jungkook and Eric starts to laugh in a very showman's way. Jungkook is breathing heavy and he tilts his head—a habit of his that comes out when he’s frustrated or angry. This seems to be both.

Jungkook and Eric continue to throw jabs at one another. Within a few seconds, the whole fight seems to change as Eric manages to slip past one of Jungkook’s blocks and lands him straight on the cheekbone. Jungkook’s body almost freezes before he falls back on the floor and you gasp at the sight.

“Fuck! Taehyung—“

“He’s fine, he’s fine,” he says but his eyes never met yours.

The announcer is on the floor with Jungkook counting down from ten and Jungkook finally sits up when he reaches the number four.

“You good son?” The guy asks Jungkook.

He nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Jungkook gets up and walks around, stretching his neck around, waiting for the ref to announce the second round.

“That’s what you get motherfucker,” Eric says walking past him to his corner. Again, Jungkook says nothing before sitting down. Jimin takes out his mouth guard and lets Jungkook drink some water.

“Why is Jungkook letting him hit him like that?!” You ask Taehyung, looking up to him, “He’s getting his ass kicked!”

Taehyung shakes his head, “Jungkook’s smart Y/N… he’s trying to run Eric’s energy out. If Eric keeps swinging the way he right now, he’ll be passed out on his own soon.”

The second round commences and this time, it’s Jungkook who comes out fast. Jungkook soon has Eric trapped against the rope, landing jab after jab. The ref intervenes and lets them get some air. Jungkook’s skin is sweaty and red hot and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look as mad as he does right now.

Eric counters quickly, catching up with Jungkook again, landing punch after punch. Jungkook escapes but Eric sticks out a foot, causing Jungkook to trip. The whole crowd—yourself included—start to yell at the action. The referee pulls Eric back and points his finger at him. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but you know it’s a scolding by the way his mouth is moving quickly. You look over at Jungkook who shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s talking to Jimin as Yoongi cares to a cut on Jungkook’s eyebrow.

“He’s a fucking asshole,” you make out Jungkook saying.

The third round starts and it seems both Eric and Jungkook are equally fighting this time. Jungkook’s combinations are cleaner than Eric’s, anyone can see that, but the way Eric keeps landing in on Jungkook—makes you feel like this isn’t going to end well for him.

“Come on Jungkook!” You find yourself yelling in the chaos, your whole body shaking as Jungkook dances around the ring to get away from Eric. Eric has him trapped again, but with Jungkook’s strength, gets Eric off of him to turn the tables. There’s sweat and blood coming off both fighters and it’s got to be the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen.

“Come on you little bitch,” Eric spits at Jungkook, “Is that all you’ve fucking got?”

Jungkook says nothing again, jabbing when he needs to.

“Fucking hell why won’t you speak to me you fucker?” Eric speaks again.

“I don’t have shit to say to you,” Jungkook finally retorts back. “You lost my respect when you sent those pussies to jump Park and I.”

Eric swings hard and Jungkook ducks, barely missing it by an inch. Eric is tired, Jungkook too, but Jungkook can see a weakness in him now.

“Come on it was all in good fun,” he says with a smirk, “You know what else would be good fun?”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything.

“Kicking your ass,” he pauses and before Jungkook can do anything else, Eric swings down hard, landing on Jungkook’s body knocking the breath out of him. Jungkook stumbles backwards, holding his stomach, he lands again on the ground with a clunk. Eric stands over him, before taking out his mouthpiece, “And stealing your bitch you invited tonight.”

“Goddammit,” you mutter watching the scene unfold in front of you. No one knows what they’re saying to each other over the noise and you honestly couldn’t care. You just want Jungkook to get up and finish this shit.

Jungkook stands up, though with a visible wince in his face. He’s breathing heavy and is filled with pure rage. The fourth bell rings and it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to attack him. Jungkook is fast and furious, landing punch after punch and you’ve never been happier for someone to get their ass kicked. Jungkook lands a punch straight across the face, causing Eric to stumble backwards. Even though you know nothing about boxing, Eric looks exhausted where Jungkook looks ready for more. With everything left in Eric, he starts coming after Jungkook. Jungkook blocks until he can’t block no more, but something in Jungkook’s stance changes. Jungkook steps forward, his right hand landing straight on Eric’s face cause his form to break. Jungkook steps quickly again, his left hand bringing an uppercut to Eric’s jaw.

The room nearly falls silent as Eric loses balance, going down straight on his back and head. When he hits the ground, the room erupts in a roar so loud it nearly deafens you.

“Holy shit!” Taehyung exclaims. The ref is down on the ground, counting down from 10, and then it’s at 5 and then 3 and then—

“Ladies and gentlemen, Jeon Jungkook wins this rematch!” The ref grabs Jungkook’s hand and holds it up over his head and you find yourself jumping up and down, pulling Taehyung down for a hug.

“Taehyung oh my fucking god!” You exclaim. He smiles brightly at you.

“I told you, he knows what he’s doing,” he says and you nod. You couldn’t deny it now—as stupid as Jungkook was for getting involved in this, his talent for the sport was extraordinary. “Come on, let’s get to his locker room,” Taehyung pulls you by your hand and you make your way back to where you were earlier.

Jungkook hasn’t arrived yet, but you find Yoongi already in there, setting out a first aid kit.

“Hey guys,” he says, “Great fight, huh?”

“Yeah, it was brilliant,” Taehyung says. The door opening catches your attention and Jungkook walks through with Jimin.  Your eyes instantly meet and you can’t even stop yourself from running to him and throwing your arms around him. He exhales deeply with a sharp wince, returning your bone crushing grip with his own.

“Alright lovebirds, he needs to get fixed up,” Yoongi’s voice interrupts you two. You hesitantly let him go and he sits down in front of Yoongi, sitting forward on his knees. He’s still breathing heavy, dripping sweat everywhere.

“Fucking hell Jungkook, since when do you box southpaw?” Taehyung pushes his shoulder slightly and Jungkook only laughs as Yoongi wipes away the blood on his eyebrow.

“I’ve been working on it for awhile,” he says, “Just never had the right time to use it… until tonight at least,” he says giving you a glance. “Eric is all talk, no bite. I can’t fucking stand him.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll be boxing him again anytime soon,” Jimin says, “He’s embarrassed himself twice now.”

“Yeah, agreed,” Yoongi chimes in, placing one of those bandaids that pull the skin together like stitches above Jungkook’s eyebrow. “No one will want to box you now knowing you can southpaw.”

Jungkook looks at you and you furrow your eyebrows at him. He said he wasn’t going to fight after this, but the way they are talking—it sounds as if he is.

“Well, I think my boxing career is probably over after tonight,” Jungkook speaks up as if he could read your mind. He tears his eyes away from you as the others look confused.

“What?!”

“Why?”

“Jungkook c’mon!”

“Guys,” he breathes out, “I made a promise, okay? Besides, I have enough money now, I don’t need anything else.”

Your features soften as you listen to his words. His promise was to you. A smile grows on your face as you watch his body calm down from his intensified state. Once Yoongi is finished, he packs everything up. The five of you talk amongst yourselves before Taehyung turns to you.

“You ready to go home?” He asks.

“I can take you home,” Jungkook says before you can answer.

“Okay,” you give him a small smile that he returns.

“Okay then, I’m gonna head out, I won’t be home tonight Jungkook,” he says.

“I know I know, at your girlfriends,” Jungkook swats his hand and Taehyung flips him off before leaving.

Jungkook stands up throwing on a shirt and slipping into Birkenstocks. “Come on,” he says to you, holding out his head. You gladly take it and it feels more like home than home ever has.

_____

“Fuck Jungkook, how much money is this?” You ask him as he hands you a white envelope as he unbuckles himself in the driver seat. The envelope is thick and you peak out of curiosity, your jaw dropping.

“I told you,” he says snatching it back from you, “As much food as I’ve bought you lately, hopefully this will last.”

You swat at his sarcastic comment before letting out a laugh. Instead of going home, you asked Jungkook to go anywhere but there. You’re parked outside of his apartment complex, which was fine with you. The two of you needed to talk. Not much talking goes on as a silence falls between you two.

“Y/N.”

“Jungkook.”

The two of you laugh as you speak at the same time.

“You first,” you say, turning your body to face him fully.

He takes a deep breath before speaking, “I know I said it earlier but I really am sorry about this past week. There’s not an excuse that justifies me acting like a complete dick to you, especially when you’ve been nothing but nice to me.”

You stay quiet, unsure of what to say.

“And when I said you’re the best part of my day… I fucking mean it. I’m sorry for coming onto you like I have, I just,” he doesn’t finish, his eyes looking everywhere but you.

“Jungkook,” you get his attention again, reaching over the console to grab his hand, “Don’t apologize for that. Yeah, you’ve been a dick each time something happens between us but that’s the apology I care about.”

“I just don’t know how to say it,” he mutters, caressing your hand gently.

“So you’re really not going to box anymore?” you inquire. Jungkook was good, more than good... it couldn’t be easy giving up on that. 

He shakes his head, “No. I told you I didn’t want you worrying about me anymore. I keep my promises,” his smile his sweet and you swear your feel yourself melting more and more into his touch. 

“Jungkook,” you let out a deep sigh, “I didn’t realize how much I needed you in my life until we became friends again. You know almost everything about me and I don’t want anyone else to ever take your place…”

It’s hanging there by a thread—the words on your tongue—and you’re not sure you can say them and they feel constricting—but you know you have to and—

“I love you,” the words come from your mouth and you feel like you could puke. “I don’t know when or why, but I’m in love with you Jungkook. You’re all I think about anymore and I don’t want anyone else when you’re right here.”

Jungkook parts his mouth, staring at you with a look you can’t read. Fuck, you fucked this up for sure.

“Shit—I know that was so rushed and stupid. Fuck I’m an idiot—“

“Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice interrupts you and you try to hide within your own body from embarrassment. With your hand of yours in his, he pulls on it, forcing you closer to him. You look at him wide eyed before he presses his lips against yours firmly. As usual, his lips feel so good and you melt into him. This is good right? What the hell is going on? You pull away from him after a few moments, an unsure look on your face.

He nuzzles his nose against your own before speaking, “I’ve wanted to tell you that since the night of our graduation.”

“Really?” You ask as you feel your palms sweat, heart racing.

He nods, “I’ve been in love with you for god knows how long now.”

A smile creeps upon your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook watches you with interest, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.

“I can take you home whenever,” he says quietly.

You’re quick to shake your head,  “No, it’s okay… I can stay, if you want,” your voice trails off and you suddenly feel shy under his gaze.

You don’t notice how Jungkook bites his lip but he does say, “Yeah. Of course.”

_____

Jungkook’s apartment is how you remember it, though a lot quieter without Taehyung here. You’re sure the reason Jungkook’s apartment is spotless is because of him. He has always been clean and organized and Taehyung… well he was Taehyung.

“I’m gonna get in the shower, my room is in here if you wanna chill,” Jungkook says and you give him a small nod. He rids his shirt before he even closes the bathroom door and it makes you gulp. This is new territory for the both of you. The two of you just admitted your love for one another and you’re about to spend the night with Jungkook? And not in a friend way? Jesus Christ you could be tripping.

You walk into Jungkook’s room and it smells just like him. His bed is neatly made and his desk is sprawled with two computer monitors and some notebooks from school. His walls are decorated as you’d expect—a Korean flag hanging, a ‘Saturday’s Are For The Boys’ flag—typical—and a few Beta Tae Sigma plaques scattered. What catches your eye is a wall of neatly lined photos taped to the wall. You look around at all of them with a smile. Most of them are Jungkook and his frat brothers, Taehyung, a few of his older brother, there’s even a picture of you, him, Taehyung, and Jennie from high school. One that catches your eye the most is one of just you and him. It’s an old picture but the memories from that day flood your mind. It was from your first week of freshman year here at university. Both of your smiles are wide and you two are hugging each other’s frames closely. Jennie took the picture you remember. It makes you smile to yourself, butterflies entering in your stomach. Did you love Jungkook then and didn’t know it? The way you’re looking at him in the picture would say so.

You suddenly feel an urge to be close to him again. You’ve never been a ballsy person but as you look back at the bathroom door that’s closed, your desire to be touched again by Jungkook again overwhelms your senses. Closing your eyes briefly, you don’t need much more convincing before your stripping yourself of your jacket and shoes. You kick off your jeans and sweater, leaving you only in your undergarments. You tip toe to the bathroom, grabbing the handle, opening it easy.

The shower water is loud and there’s steam in the small quarters. Jungkook is humming to himself as you start to take off the rest of your clothing. With a deep breath, you grab the shower curtain, pulling it back. Jungkook’s back is facing you but he hears you instantly.

“Shit Y/N you scar—“ he stops mid sentence as he takes in your naked frame getting in the shower too.

“Hi,” you mumble meeting his eye contact.  

“H-hey,” he nearly chokes on his own air, trying to keep his eyes up from your breasts.

“Scooch,” you smirk at him to move to get underneath the water too. He does as you say watching you curiously. You’re in the process of wetting your hair when his chest is pressed firmly against your back.

“This wasn’t expected,” he says into your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist from behind.

“You’re the one that wanted me to go home with you,” you say giving him an innocent glance over your shoulder. He laughs biting his lip, pressing them against the skin behind of your ear. You lean into the physical contact, feeling almost all of your stress go away instantly.

You spin around to look at him fully as it’s a frenzy whose mouth collides with whose. He leans down to grasp your lips in their entirety, pulling you closer to him than you ever have been. He pulls you away from the water so it doesn’t get in your face as he presses you against the shower wall. His tongue dips in and out of your mouth, his hands free roaming over your breasts and down to your ass, whatever he likes within the moment. Your hands grip his dark locks as he moves his mouth from your mouth, to your neck, down to your chest. He waste no time taking your right nipple in his mouth and you exhale deeply at the feeling.

You pull his face back to yours, kissing him again not able to get enough of his lips. His hands trail down from your ass to the front of your thighs, getting closer and closer to your wet center.

“Is this okay?” He asks as his fingers rub slowly back forth between your entrance. You can barely speak as his touch is setting you on fire but you manage to nod.

“Yes, please, Jungkook,” you say. He enters one finger, then another stretching you out nicely. Fuck you forgot how good this felt with him.

“Fuck you’re so wet,” he breathes heavily and you glance down at his hardening cock. Your mouth waters at the sight. Jungkook lifts one of your legs and starts to take his fingers in and out of you slowly and agonizing. He fingers you deep and rough and you can already feel a climax coming.

“Shit,” you croak out as Jungkook rubs one of your nipples, kissing your neck. There’s a pain at the back of your head at his force pushing you against the wall but it’s easy to ignore when it feels so good below your waist. “Jungkook, I’m gonna come,” you say as the snap inside of you is about to break.

“Come on baby,” his voice is deep and groggy. As if on cue, you feel your climax wash over you and you’re not shy to be loud. You know no one is here so it doesn’t bother you one bit. Jungkook kisses you against feverishly as he pulls his fingers from you. You feel impossibly empty but you know what you want to do and you’re not near anywhere tired. Your hands travel down to his front, grasping his hard dick in your hands. God, he’s so big.

“Oh fuck,” Jungkook seethes through his teeth as you pull on the sensitive skin, all the way from his pubic hair down to the tip. He places a hand beside of your head, leaning forward against your forehead. His eyes are shut tightly and you lick your lips, wanting to take him in your mouth.

You push him away from you slightly and move down to your knees, your face front and center with his beautiful dick. You take no time to put him in your mouth which causes Jungkook to groan loudly.

“Y/N,” he says looking down at you. He’s never seen a better sight. You make sure to keep eye contact as you bob your head up and down his shaft. While one of Jungkook’s hands stays against the wall, his other grips your hair, fisting it into a makeshift ponytail. “Oh fuck—He pulls on your hair and it only makes you want to please him more. Your left hand go to his balls, the right helping you up and down his length. He pulls your hair again and you take as much of him as you can. His tip reaches the back of your throat and you gag around his length and Jungkook thinks he could actually cry. Watching you through half open lids, he decides this isn’t how he is going to come—not tonight at least.

He grabs your hair and pulls you away from him and you’re slightly confused when he brings you to your feet.

“Come on, I need to be inside of you,” he says and you nod eagerly as he turns off the shower. He leads you out of the bathroom in a frenzy, pulling up into his bedroom. You shut the door behind you and he pins you against it, kissing you hard and deep.

Both of you are dripping wet but neither of you care to dry off as he carries you to his bed. You settle on his lap as his hands rest on your waist tightly. Your hands grip his face just as tight but you’re careful not to touch his injury above his brow. You couldn’t believe he was just fighting two hours ago—that seemed like forever ago compared to now. A lot can change in a short period of time and it makes you slightly chuckle against his mouth.  

“What?” He breaks the kiss asking you with a hazy grin.

You shake your head, “Nothing,” you smile pushing his hair from his forehead. You liked seeing it. “I love you,” you repeat. And you probably won’t stop, ever.

“I love you too,” he says, “So much.”

“Let me ride you,” you whisper in his ear and his eyes light up like a child. “Are you clean?” You ask him. 

He nods quickly, “You?” You nod in response and both of you feel excited and anxious. 

You rub your hand against his length again and you hold it up as you adjust yourself to sit on him. As soon as his tip enters you, a shiver runs down your spine. As you sink yourself lower, groans come from both of your mouths, a deep moan erupting from you when you bottom out.

“Oh my god,” you breathe in and out to control yourself.

“Ride me baby,” he says and you start to move your hips against his. He fills up every inch of you and it feels so good. Your hips lift away from his and he chases them with his own thrusts. He kisses your neck as you throw your head back, your hands digging into his shoulders for leverage.  

“Fuck Jungkook,” you say seeing stars in your eyes, “You feel so good,” you whine.

“You have no idea,” he says against your sticky skin, one of his hands bruising into your waist helping you ride him in a fluid motion. “Goddammit,” he says.

As you grind against him, your clit rubs against his pubic hair, sending your toes curling. He senses that you’ve found your sweet spot against him and places his thumb there instead to rub the sensitive bud.

You feel yourself inching closer and closer to a second climax when Jungkook stalls your motion.

“Lay on your stomach,” he breathes and you do as he says climbing off of him quickly. He doesn’t even give you time to get there all the way before he’s grabbing your hips to pull your ass to him. He slides right into you and you nearly scream into his mattress. Your hands grip the sheets as he fucks you deeper from behind. He smacks your ass once, twice sending a loud whine from your mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mutter trying to focus on Jungkook’s whines and small ministrations from his mouth. He reaches forward, rubbing your clit again and you want to die and go to heaven at the feeling. Neither of you try to be quiet anymore as you feel the second orgasm coming over you. You clench and unclench around Jungkook’s length as he stalls his thrusts to feel the action.

“Come inside of me,” you say, knowing both of you are clean and you have an IUD.

“Jesus,” he breathes, picking up his pace again chasing after his own high. As the sensitivity becomes too much, Jungkook finally lets go, coming deep inside of you. He holds your hips close against him, trying to deepen his climax as far as possible. The hot cum inside of you feels good and you moan at the feeling.

When Jungkook finishes completely in you, he pulls out with a sigh. You collapse against the bed, completely spent. Jungkook finds a clean rag in his pile of clean laundry and is quick to clean yourself and him up. You feel like you can barely move as Jungkook joins you in his bed. He turns you over to face him and he kisses you gently which you return happily.

“I love you,” he says for the third time tonight, kissing your nose.

“I love you too,” you entangling your legs together. The room is silent apart from your breathing and you’re about to go to sleep when he nudges you with his hand.  

“Come on,” he says.

“What?” You ask.

“Let’s actually take a shower now since someone wouldn’t let me,” he eyes you with accusation.

You squint at him before flipping him off. “Fuck off.”

_____

The next morning you wake up with Jungkook hugging you from behind, his face nuzzeled in your hair. You have no clue what the time may be, but you since it’s early by the way the birds chirp out the window. You stretch out your arms as best as you could and try to move your legs, but it doesn’t work since Jungkook’s heavy legs are tangled with your own. You’re tempted to fall back asleep but when Jungkook moves behind you, you turn to see his ruckus. You’re met with his brown eyes and you jump slightly, not expecting to see him awake. Both of you let out the faintest of laughs, not saying anything.

Jungkook leans over and kisses your lips, “Good morning.” His voice is groggy and he shuts his eyes again as you fully turn your body to his.

“Good morning,” you respond, watching the way his chest rises and falls gently. “How’d you sleep?”

“Hmm, really good,” he mumbles. You are about to join him in closing your eyes again until a loud rumble comes from your belly. Jungkook laughs.

“Hungry much?”

“Starving,” you groan, “I didn’t eat dinner last night.”

“Why not?”

“I was too nervous before your match… I thought I would yak if I ate,” you answer. Stupid, you know, but it was your train of thought last night.

He opens his eyes again, “Let’s go to the diner for breakfast… employee discount.”

You glare at him, “Is that all I am to you? A fucking employee discount,” you say saracastically.

“And my girlfriend if that helps?” He raises an eyebrow. Your cheeks heat up and you smile.

“Welllll, since my boyfriend is rich now and gets a discount, I’m assuming he’s paying.”

He smirks, “Obviously.”

“Will you take me to my place so I can change? And then we’ll go?”

He nods, his hand caressing the side of your body, “As much as I wanna stay in bed, I could really go for pancakes right now.”

“Waffles are superior,” you remark.

He frowns with a disgusted face, “Get the fuck out of my bed you heathen.”

_____

Jungkook insisted on coming up to your apartment with you because he didn’t want to wait in the car, but you know he just wants to see you change in front of him. Boys are all the fucking same.

As you fumbled with the key, the door opens and whatever Jungkook is saying to you is suddenly drowned out when you see—

“Jennie?”

“Taehyung?”

The names leave yours and Jungkook’s mouth as you watch the scene in front of you. Jennie is sitting on the counter, Taehyung in between her legs with a coffee cup in hand. Could be worse but what the fuck is going on?!

“Shit,” Jennie says pushing away Taehyung. “Hey guys,” she smiles awkwardly. You and Jungkook look at each other confused before Jungkook speaks.

“Uh, Taehyung?” He asks and Taehyung is. as red as a tomato.

“Oh fuck,” Jennie mutters shaking her head. She looks at Taehyung for backup.

Taehyung pinches his nose before speaking, “Um… we’re dating.”

You and Jungkook have the same reaction as your mouth drops.

“Jennie is your secret girlfriend?” Jungkook asks.

“Surprise,” Jennie smiles again looking at you.

You look at Jungkook and shake your head at the four of you. What a fucking cliché.

The four of you go to breakfast together that morning and it’s like old times, just with a sprinkle of something new. As long as the four of you have known each other, you’ve always had each other’s backs. Even now, with you and Jungkook and Jennie and Taehyung—you know that would never change from here on out. Turns out, Jennie just thought her and Taehyung were friends with benefits, while Taehyung was telling everyone he had a girlfriend because he was that smitten with her. The four of you laugh at the situation at hand and you couldn’t believe everyone was back together... like this. As Jungkook’s pancakes and your waffles arrive, Jungkook’s beaming smile lighting the whole room you think to yourself—this is how it’s supposed to be. 

[harfanfare]

I saw this post and I was wondering if you write Malleus' too, is okay for you to make that?

How to win a heart of Malleus Draconia?

a/n: I started posting my writings here because I want to improve my English — so I technically wouldn't make this request. But! Someone on Wattpad (where I take requests) asked for the same thing, so I rolled up my sleeves and wrote this guide today in both languages. Enjoy~

1. Don't be afraid of him.

It is said that the first impression is the most important.

So when you first saw this guy walking through the corridor of Diasomnia, it was hard for you to get rid of that view from your head.

Illuminated both by the green magic flames set in the lobby, as well as by the moon, which eventually managed to break through the dark clouds and with a bright glow appear in the windows of the dormitory, he seemed... lonely and beautiful.

You shuddered as you took a step down the hallway and the dark-haired man turned to you. He measured you with his emerald eyes. And then you recognized him; all the conversations about the mysterious and fearsome Malleus Draconia flew through your head.

Everything told you to rush towards the hallway and run as far as possible, but a piece of you found it inappropriate. Or rather, no one would want to chase everyone away from themself... right?

When you realized you were looking at him for a while, you took a deep breath and nod slightly.

"Good evening, Draconia-san," you said quickly. After a while you added, "The moon is beautiful today, don't you think?”

 2. Smile a lot.

Today was a really wonderful day: the test was postponed, your favorite dish was given in the canteen, and for some reason, the last two lessons were canceled – your class had to make just a quick note about a topic and it took less than fifteen minutes.

"Something happened?" Malleus asked, seeing how almost in the jumps you walk past him. When you looked at him, he added, "You smile a lot.”

"I can stop smiling if you want," you made a sad face, but after a while, the corners of your mouth began to tremble uncontrollably and twisted up again. "Oops, I can’t. Today... it was such a good day... that I think I'm slowly using my life's happiness.”

"I didn't say that smiling is bad," he said. "You look so much better when you smile.”

"Oh," you sighed with apparent surprise. "Is it a compliment?"

"It’s rather a fact..?"

 3. From time to time visit him during club activities.

"Is this a class of the ‘Gargoyle research society club’?” with a deaf knock you opened the door. Malleus turned to you, making a break from browsing through the materials gathered in the library about the history of each of the gargoyles on the school grounds. And there were a lot of them.

"Yes," he replied briefly, getting up. "Do you need something, [Name]?"

"Not at all, my club don’t have a meeting today," you said, closing the door behind you.

You looked around: the room was as clean as ever, except for one desk, where were laid several huge volumes about statues in NRC.

“Are you here alone?” You said before you thought. You lowered your eyes to see Malleus nodding unconcerned slightly. You blinked several times trying to think of what else you could say. "This room... could be a secret base," that was the first thing that came to your mind. Malleus turned his head to one side, uncertain of your response.

“A secret base..? Why?”

"I have no idea," you admitted quickly. "But the very existence of a mysterious point is interesting, isn't it? Doing normal things, such as watching movies or just talking, seems more interesting in places like this,” After a moment of silence, you sighed. "You know what, this idea with the base is stupid”

"We can try," he replied with serious tone. You raised your eyes to see how he looked around the room. "But you'll just have to explain this idea to me in more detail. We can also tell Lilia, Silver and Sebek about it...” he smiled as if seeing your five together in his thoughts was a pleasure. "It will be surely... fun.”

 4. Get yourself a Tamagotchi.

"Look!" you spin a new key chain on your finger. You finally stopped and showed it to Malleus. "Now they are matching!”

A small electronic toy, in a dark green screen that, when it flashed, showed a virtual, pixelated animal. You were impressed with how good quality it was made, especially since you only gave the Shroud brothers a sketch of a toy that Malleus owned.

Your keychain was exactly the same, just a different color and with another pet.

Malleus pulled out his own device and put it on the table. He pressed one of the buttons and a small pet appeared on the keychain – a dragon.

"They can now be friends," you brought your toy closer to so-called Gao-Gao Dragon-kun.

"Do you think so?" He asked in a very surprised tone, but it sounded as if in a moment he were about to burst out with an inexplicably joyful and surprised laugh.

"Of course. Everyone needs a decent friend, no?”

 5. Gain the trust of Lilia, Silver and Sebek.

Lilia, one of Malleus' closest people. It is much more likely that you will meet him before Malleus. He will be very proud when he learns that Malleus has found a friend. If you become a taster of Lilia, in terms of his pastries, he will 100% like you, and at 20% you will leave the kitchen alive and well.

Silver, who has mastered the art of sleeping in any conditions. It's easy to get him into your plans, although with the craziest ones he will hesitate. Rather well-disposed towards everyone, he can cover for you when you are not in class— but he usually inadvertently falls asleep and both of you often have penal assignments after school.

Sebek, faithful to Malleus, if he doesn't like you, you won't have too many opportunities to stay by Malleus's side without a thunderous glances at you. He will recognize you if you will listen carefully to his monologues about his master and as a sign of your friendship, he will teach you by heart of all the titles and achievements of Malleus so far.

With this trio by your side, you can get a lot further than you might have imagined...

 6. Be a master in hide and seek.

You’d give your right arm that your breath was too loud.

You pressed your hands to your mouth as you crouched in the corner of the room.

From whose voices you already heard, you knew that Lilia had already found Sebek. This meant that you or Silver would still be helping cook dinner since Malleus didn’t come at the start of the game.

This may seem silly, but the ability to play classic games was one of the elements of the art of survival in Diasomnia.

It was thanks to games like ‘stone-paper-scissors’, hide and seek or tag that household chores fell on the shoulders of the losers. Lilia loved the idea, and there was always a proud smile on his lips when he saw his beloved children play together.

You heard the steps behind you and shivered.

Very slowly you turned around and looked up to see Malleus standing over you and wondering what you were doing, crouching in the darkest corner of the room.

Puns were also included in the survival pack.

Fearing that Lilia would hear your whisper, you put your finger on your mouth, asking him not to say a word. You put a begging eye into it – all but not cooking with Lilia. Not again.

Malleus nodded, recognizing the gravity of the situation, although he smiled.

Really, no one would want Malleus to be an enemy.

Or at least in such a situation.

 7. Do not hesitate to ask him for help with learning.

"In theory, you should focus on the space around you," Malleus pulled a wand in front of him. It flashed, and almost at the same time, a thin but incredibly strong protective barrier was created around him. “Weaker spells can be reflected. In turn, the stronger ones are better to block”

You nodded understandingly.

Defensive magic was not something easy to understand. Most depended on the person against whom the counter spell was being prepared. And there are countless people who walk on this Earth and want to start fights.

"Unique spells block or avoid physically," he continued. You nodded at every subsequent sentence, slowly feeling like all the lessons are eventually gaining transparency. “Using unique magic against unique magic, the stronger will win, both will lead to explosions or completely reduce.

He looked at you when you wrote down the last sentence in your notebook.

"I sincerely hope that you will only need this information in class," he said with a sigh. "If you need help, call me. I will come. I promise.”

 8. Sometimes be persuaded to wear extravagant clothes.

"Do you really think it suits me?" you turned around, looking at yourself from every possible angle in the mirror.

You were going to the theater in a few classes to see some era-related play that you've been discussing now in history lessons. Everyone, respecting the reputation, actions and achievements of theatre, dressed in their best clothes.

Malleus stood next to you.

He was already wearing a black and white outfit with green accessories. They all worked so well together and fitted him like a glove that you were sure that the whole outfit was made especially for him.

"Yes," he replied. "Everything you put on today suited you very well.”

Once again, with critical eyesight, you looked at the outfit, face and hair, before you quickly turned off the lights in the room and closed the door behind you.

Then you smiled at Malleus.

"We can go now," you said. You made your way through the portal to the main NRC building. "And... thank you for your help.

"My pleasure," he said. Under no circumstances was it just a polite formula. He really loved looking at you.

 9. Invite him to your birthday/party.

"Another break from school soon, huh?" — you muttered, leaning against the railing.

You took a deep breath and let the fresh, pleasant air refresh you.

"Are you going to home, [Name]?" Malleus asked. Green lights were still flying around him, so you guessed he’d just appeared here.

"I haven't decided yet," you sighed. "It would be nice to go home, but the break won't be very long... Ah, that's right!” you straightened up and turned to him. "How about spending another break together? As soon as I can, I will contact my family... although I cannot promise anything.”

Though he did not show it, Malleus' heart beat a little faster.

Spend free time? With someone? With someone he likes?

"Of course," he sounded less calm than he thought. He wasn’t often invited anywhere, even for the things he should have been on, so there was a lot of excitement growing in his body. "I don't see anything against it.”

 10. From "The Great Malleus Draconia-sama" to "Love".

"Ah, The Great Malleus-sama!" you sighed theatrically, taking from him a box of chocolates with a joyful smile. You could promise that because of this dark-haired boy here, you slowly become pampered. "Thank you for your generosity!”

Malleus frowned.

"The Great Malleus-sama"..?” he pondered, putting his fingers to his chin. "Did Sebek told you again to call me with this title?"

"No," you laughed softly at his reaction. "I did it out of curiosity. Maybe I could call you some cute nickname, hmm?" you smiled mischievously.

"For example?"

"By adding ‘-chan’ to your name?” you turned on your phone and typed something related to the nicknames. You started reading suggestions and struggled to hold back from laughing. ” ’Sunshine’, ‘star’, ‘flower’, ‘sweetheart’, ‘love’...

"I like the last one," he said, and the invisible force stung you to the ground.

"Would you like me to call you like that? Out of curiosity or out of love?" You laughed, but your cheeks were all red with blushes.

He smiled sincerely at your reaction.

"Hmm, I wonder..?"

[likelylarks]

danielfest preview (idk if this is allowed oops)

on september 16 of 2021, i asked you (my besties, bros, and beloveds), to tell me what to write out of a list because i needed external motivation - one of those things was a post dutch gp max riding daniel while draped in the flag

so, here’s me finally delivering on that nearly a year later (but not actually because i don’t want to spoil the whole scene and maybe also bc i don’t have it fully written OOPS) - so pls y’all tell me if this is bad and i should abandon my danielfest fic entirely so no one has to read any more drivel

Daniel watched the podium ceremony from the garage; Max, drenched in sweat, draped in the Dutch flag, the sweet swell of his dick visible. He felt his own dick harden in response. His mouth watered. Today would probably have to be quick though. Max would probably want to go out and celebrate with the team. Daniel wouldn’t have time to take him apart the way he wanted to. The way he deserved for not only living up to everyone’s expectations but exceeding them. 

Daniel shook himself as Michael called his name. Media. Press duties. Pretending he wasn’t as pissed as he actually was that his team fucked him over for Lando. 

The looks he got from his press person weren’t overly horrible so he guessed his answers were sufficient. As he was trekking back to the garage he checked his phone. He had a couple messages from Max. 

I don’t want you to blow me today. 

Daniel didn’t have time to let the disappointment - just another one, in today’s increasing string - sink in before his eyes flicked to the next message. 

Fuck. That came out wrong. 

I want you to fuck me. 

That would have been enough. But Max had always, and inadvertently, known every one of Daniel’s weak spots. 

Please. 

Daniel stopped walking so abruptly that the person from McLaren continued to walk past him for a few steps. “Daniel? Everything okay?” 

Daniel looked up, smiling widely, sure it was evident even behind his mask. The first real smile he’d had since the race had started. “Yeah, all good.” 

He rushed back to the garage, flying through changing his clothes and the debrief and hustling Michael and Blake back to the hotel. They both looked at him, knowing. Daniel ignored them. He didn’t care who fucking knew -

That he was rushing back to the hotel. He didn’t care who knew he was rushing back to the hotel. Let them think it was because he was angry about the result and the strategy and wanted to rest before Monza. He knew that didn’t fool Michael and Blake. He furiously jabbed the elevator button up to his floor. So what if they were his friends and they’d told him that he could tell them anything; they were also his fucking employees and he didn’t have to tell them jackshit about where he was going. 

He said a hurried goodnight to both of them in the hotel hallway, shutting the door in Michael’s face. Michael put a hand on the door, trying to stop it closing, “Mate, come on.” 

“Nah, I’m tired,” Daniel pushed harder, not quite meeting Michael’s eyes as he looked up at Michael’s face. “I’ll do my stretches, but I want a real shower. We’ll talk more on the plane tomorrow. Tonight I’m done, okay.” 

Michael narrowed his eyes, not accepting what Daniel was willing to give. In the time he took to gather his thoughts to tell Daniel why he was wrong, he stopped pressing against the door. Daniel took the opportunity to lean heavily against the wood and fully close the door. It snapped shut with a satisfying click. 

“You’re a right cunt, Ricciardo,” came through the door. 

Daniel grinned. He’d won. “You know you love me.” 

“If you’re not awake and ready to leave, I will use my key and drag your pancake ass out of bed!” Michael’s call was irritated.

Daniel laughed over his shoulder, already walking away from the door, “Harsh! For more than one reason! People love my ass!” If Michael or Blake said anything more, Daniel missed it. He’d get them both a nice breakfast tomorrow before their flight as an apology for being a dick tonight. But now was not the time to worry about them, Max was probably on a tight schedule, and that meant Daniel was on an even tighter one. 

He rushed through showering and debated shaving. He remembered one time Max drunkenly telling Daniel that he looked handsome with a beard so he decided to leave it. Daniel ran a hand over his chin. The rough stubble would leave Max’s skin pink and rubbed raw. Something to remember him by. He didn’t spare too much time picking out clothes, Max wouldn’t notice what he wore; he just made sure that everything was unbranded, lacking both his own name and the McLaren logo. He jammed a hat over still-drying curls and was out the door before a full twenty minutes had passed. 

Daniel decided to drive himself, not wanting to be potentially recognized by a taxi driver. His fingers beat out a mindless pattern on the steering wheel as he drove. His phone had automatically connected to the Bluetooth in the car, but he didn’t hear what was playing. He didn’t hear anything other than his own blood rushing in his ears and the echo of every time Max had said “Please” previously. 

He hurried through the lobby of Max’s hotel. There had been an excess of orange along the road, and Daniel kept his head down as he headed toward the elevators. He didn’t need to be spotted here. He didn’t have time for that. 

It might have been tempting fate to always get extra room keys at the start of every race weekend. One extra, with the express purpose of swapping between the two of them. It had felt that way after Silverstone. Again after Hungary. Today, it just felt lucky. Daniel absentmindedly tapped the plastic card against his lips. It almost tasted like winning. 

Daniel swiped the card and pushed open the door gently, expecting Max to be just inside. Waiting. Instead, there was nothing but open space and all Daniel could see was a couch on the far wall with a couple of Max’s shirts thrown across it. One of them looked like the shirt he’d been wearing today. Maybe Daniel had been too slow. Maybe Daniel had missed him. Maybe he was already gone to celebrate. 

“Daniel?” Max’s voice came from around the corner. 

Daniel stepped further into the room and felt his heart stop. The door slipped out of his hands and slammed shut behind him. Daniel supposed he had been right before, one of the shirts on the couch probably was the one Max had been wearing before. 

Because Max wasn’t waiting for him just behind the door wearing a stupid Red Bull polo. Max was waiting in the center of his bed, sitting on his knees with hands folded neatly in his lap, draped in the flag of the Netherlands, and absolutely nothing else. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Daniel croaked. Max’s hands unfolded and fluttered around his thighs and the edge of the flag, tugging at the ends. His dick lay half hard already against his leg. Daniel wanted to devour him. 

Max smiled, coy, “They let me keep the flag.”

Daniel felt himself nod, unconscious of actually doing it. “I can see that.” He yanked the hat off his head and ruffled his hand through his curls, “You’d think I’d won, look at you.” 

Max laughed, bright and sweet. The movement made the flag slip off one broad shoulder. Max tugged it back into place, “If you had won, it would be an Australian flag.” 

Daniel laughed and took stumbling steps toward the bed, kicking off his shoes as he went. He fell onto his knees in front of Max, reaching out. His hands landed half on skin and half on polyester. Max’s thighs were warm, sticky with sweat. The flag stuck and slid in turn. Daniel clutched at Max, bunching the fabric, pulling the red stripe up until he could touch the white, then the blue - as if the more of the flag he touched, the more of Max he held, too. 

Max’s hands came up to tug at Daniel’s shirt. Daniel consented to letting go of Max just to get the fabric over his head. After it was gone, Daniel tipped his head down, latching on to Max’s chest. Scraping his cheek along the side of one of Max’s tits. The last time they’d fucked properly, Max hadn’t been carrying this much mass. His chest hadn’t had as much of a swell to it. Daniel took one of Max’s nipples into his mouth, sucking gently and then harder as Max’s hands interlaced in the short hairs on Daniel’s neck, pushing him down. 

Daniel released the bud from his mouth and made sure to flick his eyes upward to look at Max’s face as he deliberately scraped his chin across it. Max’s red mouth parted in a moan. Daniel kept his stubble scraping across Max’s chest as he switched to the other nipple. He released as Max tugged his hair, trying to get his attention. When he looked at Max’s tits, they were scraped a deep pink. He grinned widely and forced himself to look at Max’s face and not return immediately to turn the pink to red. 

“Daniel, Daniel, please,” Max panted. He sounded as if they’d been kissing for hours. No. Daniel halted that line of thinking. He and Max didn’t kiss. That would make this, something else. Something other than just. “Please, I need you to fuck me, Daniel.” 

[ptergwen]

Could you write something about Tom going live on IG with his gf? like, they recently went public and the fans freak out about how whipped Tom looks or something like that 👉🏻👈🏻

eep this is adorable 🥺 i def want overboard cuz it’s pretty long uh

“love, you getting in?” tom calls to you from the living room, phone propped up in front of him. “yeah, one sec!” you yell back and join him on the couch. he puts an arm around your shoulders with a kiss to the side of your head. you lean into him more, his fingers running up and down your arm. “you sure you’re ready to do this, hm? we don’t have to,” he says quietly.

it wouldn’t be an understatement to say the entire world has been buzzing about yours and tom’s possible relationship for months already. a few out of context paparazzi pictures sparked the rumors. tom held you protectively by his side while you headed to the car after dinner one night. the moment was captured along with a few other intimate ones as time went on.

there was so much speculation, fans scowering the internet for your social media, trying to figure out who you were and how you knew tom. they’d come up with the wildest theories not just about you two, but about you only. some funny, some creepy, some just completely untrue. you’d come to a point where you wanted to set the record straight.

tom didn’t have any intentions of going public at first. this was exactly why. he already didn’t like what people were saying about you, so he couldn’t and refused to imagine how it would be if he confirmed you’re together. he’d thought he was doing what was best for you until you asked him to break the news to everyone.

he was skeptical of doing so, not wanting to put that attention on you because his experiences haven’t been so great, but you assured him over and over again you wanted this. tom eventually gave in and made a post with a caption the length of an essay to tell everyone about your relationship. he’d only hit post after you read it over and approved everything, of course.

today, you’re going live with him so his fans can get to know you a bit better.

“i’m okay, baby. i think you’re more nervous than i am,” you laugh out and give his cheek a quick peck. “probably. gonna have to learn to share my girl with the world,” tom sighs, keeping his arm tight around you as he leans forward. “they’ll want to steal you away from me.” “other way around, i think,” you retort. he’s forgetting he’s the internationally loved one.

“not after this.” he glances over at you so you lock eyes. “can i start the live?” “go for it,” you agree and watch him press the button. it connects a few seconds later, tom exhaling as he sits back again. going live in general always makes him anxious. having you here, subjecting you to the possible wrath of his followers, spikes his anxiety even more.

you put a calming hand on his knee, which he smiles at. you’re okay, he’s alright, you’ll both be fine. tens of thousands of people flood the live at once. the numbers grow right before your eyes, so much that it’s intimidating. “woah,” you mutter, earning a chuckle from tom. the comments don’t take long to start coming in.

everyone is saying your name in all caps and keyboard smashing. tom likes to wait a little before officially starting, giving himself some time to figure out what to say and things. he grins at you in his camera, you furrowing your eyebrows back. “hey guys,” tom begins as casually as usual. he purposely ignores all the comments yelling at him to explain himself.

he loves messing with the poor people.

“how’s everyone’s day going? we’re great, having a blast over here,” he carries on, pulling you in closer to his chest. “oh, you’re funny,” you mumble and pat his knee. your head is resting on his shoulder while you read the comments from your lopsided angle.

“they’re telling me to talk. should i talk?” you jokingly ask for tom’s permission. “rather you than me,” tom mumbles and presses his lips to your forehead briefly. that sparks more hearts and way more questions. you sit up again to properly adress the half a million people watching you. it’s a fuck ton, definitely not as many as you’d expected.

you’re that popular, huh?

“jeez, there’s a lot of you in here. this is terrifying,” you gasp at the thought, turning to tom. “how do you do this?” “rarely,” he replies and bites back another smile. “i get so stressed.” adjusting yourself so you’re sitting criss cross, you raise your hands in defense. “no, i have too much power right now. i don’t like it.”

“you sound like thanos,” tom decides, bursting into a fit of giggles when you shove at his arm. you then kiss your hand and tap his cheek with it to make up. his skin is warm. “anyways. i guess i’ll, like, introduce myself? i’m y/n.” the fans are cracking up at you two, others dropping the soft eyes emoji. tom makes that same face at you in real time.

“that’s about it. um,” you let out a laugh. “i don’t know. thanks for having me and being pretty nice so far.” he keeps gazing at you while you link your arm in his, your head on his shoulder again. “keep being nice because tom will cry or something if you aren’t.” he’s looking at you with literal heart eyes, a small smile on his lips, listening to your every word.

“seriously though, i hope you guys like me. you seem pretty cool. we-“ you cut yourself off when more comments than earlier spam the screen. “what happened?” you pick up tom’s phone to read them. they alert you of his heart eyes, so you put his phone back down and see for yourself. his small smile becomes a toothy one.

“aw, tommy,” you coo, rubbing your nose against his, tom pecking your lips. “doing good, love.” he can’t help himself. he doesn’t have to anymore. everyone starts shouting iterations of she called him tommy and they kissed, but you’re both caught up in each other at the moment.

by high demand, you join tom for another live soon after this one.

[just-another-blog-of-fluff]

Never Back Down

Warnings: the usual - tickling, fluff

Word count: 2500

Ok, I know I just posted like 2 days ago, but this idea started plaguing me on my drive home from work today and I had to just get it written out on (virtual) paper. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

You don’t back down easily. Certainly not from a prank war. Especially when it meant you had captured the attention of a certain Asgardian.

Admittedly, you had been the one to start it. Although, you had good reason – Loki had been teasing you incessantly that day, doing everything in his power just to push your buttons. So, naturally, you did what any self-respecting Avenger would do, and stole his ‘secret’ stash of chocolate from his room when he wasn’t looking. It’s not like you ate it or anything (well, maybe just one… or two…) but it was still enough to poke the bear. Loki, of course, knew exactly who had taken it the moment he noticed it was missing.

The chocolate had disappeared from your room by the next morning. Along with every pair of shoes you owned.

It took much longer than you’d have liked to admit to track down all of your shoes hidden around the compound. You knew you had to step up your game. So that evening, you pulled the classic ‘hair dye in the shampoo bottle’ trick (temporary, of course). The look you received from the now green-haired god the next morning could have shattered glass, but you still couldn’t help but snicker at him.

You made sure you were cautious the rest of that day, knowing he would likely retaliate. Before showering that evening, you double and triple-checked the color of the soap and shampoo before using it to make sure there wasn’t anything unusual about it. You even ordered take-out for dinner; afraid he might try to tamper with your food if you tried to cook something.

Nothing happened. Which only made you more suspicious about what the trickster was planning.

You found out the next morning, when you went to exit your bedroom and suddenly were knocked backward onto the floor as your face struck an invisible barrier. Plastic wrap. Clever. As revenge, you slipped hot sauce into his morning coffee. Needless to say, he didn’t appreciate it.

At this point, you weren’t sure who was winning. The most likely answer was really neither of you, but you figured you should probably be on your toes anyway assuming he would probably be plotting vengeance after this morning. Luckily, there was a mission briefing that afternoon; you figured at least he wouldn’t be bold enough to try to pull something in front of an entire room of Avengers. Or, at least, you hoped.

Tony was having renovations done on your usual conference room, so the briefing had been moved to one of the smaller meeting rooms on the second floor. You were running late, having gotten lost trying to find your way to the new meeting location, and you were cursing yourself for it because you were really hoping to be assigned to this particular mission. By the time you located the room, everyone else had already arrived and taken their seats.

The room was much smaller than the conference room, with a few chairs surrounding a table in the center of the room and additional seating against the walls. You cringed when you saw the only remaining available seat was in the corner, directly next to Loki. He smirked when he noticed you in the doorway, patting the chair beside him as if being polite, but you knew him better by now. He had something planned, you were sure of it.

You quickly walked across the room, trying to minimize the time that you were blocking your teammates’ view of the front of the room where Steve was reviewing the mission location on a projector. Begrudgingly, you slouched down into the seat beside Loki and leaned against the wall.

“You’re late,” Loki leaned over and whispered in your ear.

“Shh! I want to hear about the mission. Steve was thinking of sending me this time,” you hissed, glaring at him.

Loki was silent for a few moments, so you turned your attention back to the front of the room. Steve now had some images up on the screen of the artifact the team would be responsible for retrieving, which had been stolen from one of the local museums. You wished you had thought to bring your notepad – you knew it would impress Steve if you were taking notes, and you really wanted to have the chance to prove yourself by going on this mission.

“He is insufferable to listen to.” Loki had leaned over again to whisper to you, his breath tickling your ear, and you reflexively shrugged your shoulder.

“Shh! Stop whispering!” you demanded.

“Shh! You should be listening,” he mocked, winking with a mischievous grin. You rolled your eyes and turned your attention back to the front.

Another few moments went by when suddenly you felt something soft tickling the shell of your ear. You flinched and swatted your hand up to your ear, realizing Loki had taken a loose strand of your hair and had experimentally swiped it across your ear.

“Loki!” you whispered, your face heating up. “Cut it out!”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, an expression of mock innocence on his face.

“You know what’s wrong. I’m trying to listen!”

“What is it? Are you… ticklish?” He emphasized his question by poking you swiftly in the side, causing you to jerk away from his touch.

“Loki… d-don’t get any ideas,” you warned, starting to get nervous. He scooted slightly closer to you in his chair.

“Hmm. Surely you must regret tampering with my coffee this morning, now, don’t you?” You narrowed your eyes at him, fixing your gaze on his. He snuck his hand up to your side out of your line of site and gently squeezed, making you jump. “Now, darling, you wouldn’t want to cause a scene.”

“Y-you’re the one causing a scene!” you protested, glancing up to see if anyone had noticed this exchange yet. It seemed no one was the wiser to what was going on in your corner of the room, all watching Steve as he continued to provide intel for the upcoming mission.

While you were looking around the room, Loki slid his arm around your waist to attack your other side. You jolted again as you felt his fingertips gently scratching at both sides simultaneously, biting your tongue to keep from laughing. You refused to gratify Loki with a reaction, so you did your best to remain perfectly still as he continued to lightly trace your skin through your thin t-shirt. You could still see his smirk in your peripheral vision despite your attempt to focus on Steve’s briefing.

Gradually, Loki’s light touch became more of a gentle kneading of the soft skin of your sides. It was becoming more difficult not to move, and a reluctant smile started forcing itself across your face. You had to fight even harder as you felt his fingertips moving up your sides, moving agonizingly slowly, gently digging into the spaces between your lower ribs.

“Very good, pet,” Loki teased, his voice deep and smooth as he leaned close to your ear. You shuddered involuntarily, your face burning, flustering you in a way that only the god of mischief could. Unfortunately, Loki was perceptive, and noticed your sudden change in demeanor. His fingers crawled higher up your ribcage and it took everything you had not to let out a squeak. “It would seem that I’m not trying hard enough, wouldn’t it?”

“S-stop it!” you mumbled, leaning as far away from the god as you could with the wall on your other side holding you captive in your seat. He chuckled, low and deep in his throat, suddenly shifting the hand that wasn’t wrapped around you so he could flutter his fingertips against the back of your knee while continuing to torment your ribs with his other hand. You let out a nearly inaudible squeal, biting down on your knuckle in an effort to avoid laughing out loud. You were trembling now, trying desperately not to jerk away from his touch and draw attention to yourself.

“It’s unfortunate for you, really, that you’re so devastatingly ticklish. Tell me, darling – where are you more ticklish? Here?” He scribbled his fingers faster against the delicate skin on the underside of your knee, making you jolt your leg away from him, “Or here?” The slender fingers latched on your ribs squeezed more rapidly, and you arched your back slightly to evade his touch.

“I’m n-not telling you that!” you hissed.

“Alright, then.” The hand under your knee darted back up to your side, and in one swift motion he slipped his fingertips into the hollows under your arms. You couldn’t help but twist harshly, shaking in silent laughter as you leaned into him involuntarily. “I see I’ve found the answer.”

“I’ll be right back!” you announced suddenly, standing abruptly from your chair, and scurrying out of the room. You shut the door behind you and leaned against the wall, trying to catch your breath and regain your composure. Your cheeks were still on fire and your heart was beating a mile a minute in your chest. If it weren’t for the fact that you actually wanted to pay attention during this meeting, this whole interaction with Loki might have been more enjoyable. His persistent teasing had you completely flustered, though, and while under normal circumstances it may have made you feel giddy, you knew you couldn’t let the team see you like this.

You needn’t have worried, though – the door to the meeting room opened again only moments after you’d left the room, and everyone filed out into the hall, chattering amongst themselves, none the wiser to anything that had been going on in the back corner of the room. Loki was the last to leave, trailing behind the others with a few extra feet of distance between himself and the rest of the team. You took advantage of this, quickly grabbing his arm and yanking him off to the side, slamming him up against the wall with your forearm pressed across his chest.

“Damn it, Loki! What the hell!” you growled, glaring at him, although admittedly with less fire in your eyes than he probably deserved.

“Do you admit defeat?” he asked, grinning.

“Wha- no! Of course not!” you retorted. “You fight dirty, Loki!”

“God of mischief, darling,” he responded proudly, snaking his hand under your arm, and digging his fingers into your uppermost ribs. You shrieked and released him from the wall, stumbling backward to escape the torturous tickles. He was too quick for you, grasping your wrist and spinning you around so he could pin you against the wall where he previously stood. After grappling with you for a moment, he managed to grab your other wrist and pin both arms behind your back in one hand, spidering the fingers of his other hand randomly up and down your side. You snorted, now able to laugh and squirm freely. You managed to twist enough to break his hold, spinning around and sweeping his legs out from underneath him with your foot. He fell to the floor, a shocked expression fleeting across his face as you knelt down beside him.

“You know, I’m willing to bet you’re only good at this from personal experience,” you noted with a smirk. Before he could react, you latched both hands on his sides and squeezed, praying for a reaction. He let out a strangled laugh, jerking away from your touch.

“Don’t!” he demanded, sounding somewhat frantic.

“Aha! I knew it!” you gloated, scribbling your fingers into every possible ticklish spot you could think of, knowing it wouldn’t be long before he overpowered you and escaped your hold. He started to giggle – actually giggle – thrashing violently to throw you off. His laughter made you even more flustered than you were before, never having seen the god in such a state.

“Eheheh – I DEMAND you stop this!”

“Sorry Loki, it’s pretty hard to take you seriously when you’re giggling like a schoolchild,” you teased, working your fingers down to his belly. Unfortunately, this caused him to jolt so hard he knocked you off of him, not having expected the sudden motion. In a flash, he had you pinned to the floor, hovering over you with his chest heaving as he caught his breath.

“I-I am going to make you regret that,” he growled, his characteristic smirk returning as he resumed his tickle attack, his fingers darting across your skin, sending ticklish shocks through your nerves. He was agile, never staying in one spot for long enough for you to get used to the sensation before moving his torturous fingers somewhere else.

“L-LOKI! I CAHAHAN’T TAKE IHIHIHIT!!” you pleaded, pounding your feet against the floor in ticklish agony.

“You should have thought of this before crossing the god of mischief,” he retorted, pinning your legs down with his shin and pinching the skin just above your kneecap. Your abdominal muscles were too sore from laughter to even try to sit up and shove him off you. He slid his other hand under your knee to scratch at the sensitive skin there simultaneously.

“I YIELD! I YIELD! STAHAHAP!!” you begged, slapping the floor with your hand to tap out. Thankfully, he obeyed, releasing you so you could roll onto your side, holding your stomach as the last residual giggles bubbled from your lips.

After taking a moment to compose yourself, you sat up and grinned at the trickster. He raised his eyebrows at you.

“Why are you smiling?”

“I just never pegged you as the ticklish type,” you observed. He folded his arms indignantly across his chest.

“I am not ticklish. That is a weakness that only plagues mortals such as yourself,” he insisted. A sneaky poke to his side told you otherwise, causing the Asgardian to jolt and let out a strangled yelp.

“Mmhmm. Ticklish.”

Loki stared you down for a moment, and you started to worry that he might attack you again for that comment. You were surprised when he held out his hand, offering to help you off the floor.

“Truce?”

“Truce? … What are the conditions?” you asked warily, staring at his outstretched hand as if it might try to bite you.

“You keep this little… incident to yourself, and I will stop pranking you. Provided you do the same.” You squinted at him, trying to assess the sincerity in his expression. Satisfied, you grasped his hand in yours and allowed him to pull you to your feet.

“Deal.” You shook his hand once to seal the deal. You both turned to walk down the hallway to catch up with the rest of the team.

“I shall warn you, though – I made no promises that you would be safe from tickles around me. It’s quite amusing, tormenting you. Almost… adorable.” You felt your face flush hot again.

“Well… I guess I won’t protest too much to that.”

[xeulousluv]

Almost

AN: Hello everyone, I am fairly new to posting on this app, so therefore I am still learning how to use it. Hehe :) Anyways, I hope you are having a great day!

Warning: Nothing really, maybe a little bit of angst? 

Zayn and Y/n broke up and all he’s left with are the videos she took during their senior year of high school.

September 1st, 2010: 

The camera was set up in her hand as she was slightly fixing her hair, a huge smile plastered on her makeup covered face. He always thought she looked better without makeup, but sometimes you couldn’t beat the insecurities. 

“Here we are, the first day of senior year! How are we feeling, Zayn?” 

Next to her stood himself, a much younger version of himself. Two years to be exact. He was almost unrecognizabel, with his usual high school attire adoring his body. A white tee-shirt, black skinny jeans, and not to mention his varsity football jacket hanging off of his shoulders. She looked lovingly at her boyfriend, her eyelashes beating against the softness of her rounded cheeks. 

“I’m ready to get out of here, the last three years were the upmost worst years of my life.” Zayn spoke truthfully, he hadn’t expected to make it past the ninth grade, but with the help of Y/n, he managed to make it all the way to his graduating year. Y/n gave him an offended look before responding, “Hey! If it weren’t for these last three years, you would’ve never met me, let alone had the courage to talk to me. Am I really that bad?” 

She laughed out while speaking, all so he knows that she is joking and would never accuse him of thinking such things. Though, he was already two steps ahead of her and was laughing along at her sad attempt of looking offended. “Of course not, baby. You are what kept me going.” With that, Zayn kissed her temple and she let out a small giggle before stopping the camera. 

September 5th, 2010:

Random small talk was heard on the computer sitting in front of Zayn, before her face showed with a bright glow. She was so beautiful it almost hurt. She was laughing at something her friend Emery said, though it was completely inaudible, he just let the smile take over his face hearing her laugh again. 

“I don’t exactly know why I turned this on, but hello! We successfully made it through the first week of school, and let me just say, it was not fun. The teachers still hate me.” Again, Y/n laughed towards the camera. 

“I remember this one time last year when Mr. Lambert threw me out of class because I wouldn’t stop laughing. In my defence, he was talking about the safety of condoms and Zayn kept mocking him. That was a detention worth going to.” Zayn remembered that day clearly. He sat to the left of Y/n, Mr. Lambert’s first mistake, and would whisper in her ear how he would show her the proper way to wear a condom when they got to her house that night. To say he did end up showing her was an understatement. 

The camera then turned to her friend before she continued on with what she was saying, “Anyways, Emery here, has informed me about this back to school party for seniors at Anthony Stilettos house. So, we are heading to the mall so we can get a nice looking outfit for tonight. I’ll see you guys later!”  And with that the camera switched off.

He thought that was the end of the video, but when she popped back on his screen, he was pleasantly surprised. She wore a black dress that just reached her knees, the end of it rippled and flew each time she took a step. Her hair and makeup was done, and her shoes matched her dress, she really was the most beautiful person he has ever met. 

Without saying anything, Y/n moved the camera to where the view was now on Emery. She wore a simple tight red dress that fit her like a glove, she was placing bobby pins in her hair before realising a camera was watching her every move. Emery turned away from the mirror Y/n had in her room, and started making random poses into the camera. The video finally ended with Y/n facing the camera back to herself while laughing at it. 

October 7th, 2010: 

It was homecoming. Their final homecoming, and of course, Zayn asked her to be his date. He didn’t go all out like the previous years, this particular year was asked right after they finished giving each other their all. They were bunched up together, all sweaty and breathless, and that is when Zayn asked her to go to homecoming with him. He thought it was gross because of their previous activities, but Y/n thought it was sweet, endearing even. It was personal and intimate, she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Plus, she was tired of all the attention that comes with getting asked to homecoming. 

Her dress was a beautiful shade of baby yellow, Zayn wore his usual black suit but with a yellow tie and a yellow rose pinned to his coat pocket. The night couldn’t have been anymore magical. 

“Z, are you ready to go? Emmy and Dallas are waiting in the car.” Her soft voice echoed through the speakers, she was worried about being late. But more so, excited about what the night had planned for the couple. Zayn was fixing his hair, like he does any other day, however today, he wanted to look his absolute best. “Just one more second, love. Gotta look perfect before leaving these four secured walls.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes into the camera before another smile took over her face. It only got wider as he finally announced that he was ready. 

“Baby, you look handsome! You don’t need all that hair gel, make one wrong move and we’re calling you Uncle Jesse.” Zayn scoffed, his hands finding their place on her hips, him being pressed up against her back. His chin resting on her shoulder, they looked so in love. They were so in love. 

October 31st, 2010: 

Fall was Y/n’s favorite season, meaning Halloween was by far her favorite holiday. She squealed into the camera when Zayn walked out in his Peter Pan costume. “Baby, you look so fucking adorable!” She cooed, though Zayn was having none of it. “Do we have to go to this party? Can’t we just stay in and watch scary movies, I promise I will protect you if you get too scared!”

He knew it was no use, Y/n had been going on and on about Anthony’s costume party for the past week, so when she started laughing, Zayn internally groaned. “Brave of you to assume I will get scared during a horror movie. How about we go for just an hour, then you and I can come back here and watch whatever movie you want?” 

At that, his ears perked, he could go for an hour. That gives him all the more time alone with his love. “Hocus Pocus? That’s my favorite.” 

“Yes baby, we can watch Hocus Pocus, do this for me, and I’m all yours for the rest of the night.” A grin was stretched across his face as she leaned up and gave a peck to his lips. Adoration shining brightly in her eyes as she looked up at him. “You are so lucky I love you, Y/n.” 

“I love you, Zayn. More than you will ever know.” 

December 31st, 2010:

“Hola, my favorite people! Happy New Years Eve, I hope you guys are having a good day. My family is having a little party to bring in the new year, even though you won’t be watching this until later when I decide to post it, I hope you guys have an amazing holiday. Be safe now. Bye!”

Christmas and New Year’s was hard for Y/n. She had major separation anxiety for everyone she grows close to, so not being able to see the people she loves for a whole two weeks was taking a toll on her. Not to mention, Zayn went back to Bradford for the holidays, so he wasn’t there to keep her calm. All she had was the emails and messages he would send her.  

However, that night was different. She didn’t know what it was, but the air felt more intoxicating. There was something she was missing and the young girl couldn’t put her finger on it. 

Emery got ahold of Y/n’s camera without her noticing, pressing the ‘record’ button and smiling.

“Hi, as many of you may know, my name is Emery White. Before questions start racing through your head about where Y/n is, she is currently in the kitchen talking to one of her neighbors, and she knows nothing about this so, shhh!” Emery held her index finger up to her mouth, even though she is talking to a camera. 

“So, the time is now 11:58, meaning it is almost New Year’s and I got a message from a good friend of mine to get her camera and start recording. Oh wait, she’s coming over! Act normal!” 

“Emmy? Why do you have my camera, wait no, when did you get my camera?” Emery turned her neck to look at Y/n, and smiled while looking at her friends confused face. “It’s almost midnight, I figured we could record the big moment for your journal thing.” 

Y/n looked at her watch and sure enough, it was 12:59, and the people around her were counting down. By the time Y/n looked back at her friend, Emery had switched her position to behind the camera, her smile now stretching to her eyes. She gave a confused smile towards the camera before shaking her head. 

10..

9..

8..

A tap was felt on Y/n’s shoulder making her turn around, not believing her eyes, she had to do a double take. There he was in all of his glory. Zayn stood in front of her with a bouquet of random flowers, her eyes widening in complete shock. 

3..

2..

1!

Before she could fully process his presence, Zayn had planted his lips against hers in what he would call, one of their best kisses. His arms went around her waist while hers were around his neck, keeping him as close as humanly possible. She was the first to pull away from the kiss, tears forming at the bottom of her eyes but never fell. Zayn pulled her back, this time her face went into his neck as he whispered out a small, “Happy New Years, baby.” 

May 22nd, 2011: 

Senior prom, a day Y/n has waited her entire life for. Getting all dolled up for one night of perfection sounded glorious. Unlike most people, her dress doesn’t reach the floor but goes a little ways past her knees. It was a light shade of green, she wasn’t usually one for the cliche pink and blue, and her stomach was laced over showing her belly button peircing. She felt on top of the world, the most gorgeous she has ever felt in her entire life. 

Zayn was in a nude tuxedo, a lightish green tie tucked into the blazer. “It’s prom day, baby, how do you feel?” The now well-known camera placed in front of his face, though he paid no attention to it, but really the girl behind it. “Like I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. How did I get so lucky, hm?” 

The blush was evident on her face, he could see it perfectly now even with the camera facing him and not herself. He could still see the light in her eyes. Looking back on it, he couldn’t imagine living his life without her, how could he let her go? 

It wasn’t like they got in a fight or anything, Zayn and Y/n were going to different colleges and he didn’t want to do the whole long distance thing. He felt she deserved better than that. So even though the breakup was absolutely not a mutual agreement, Y/n somewhat understood and let him walk away. 

“You’re such the charmer, Zayn. Always got me blushing for no good reason.” 

“I would be a bad boyfriend if I didn’t.” 

Now turning the camera to face both of them, Zayn placed a kiss on her lips before turning off the camera and letting their night go on as best as it could, for it would be one of the last good memories they have. Except at the time, neither of them knew the last time would actually be the last time. 

June 4th, 2011: 

“Hey everyone, I just want to start off by saying congratulations, we made it. Graduating today was the most amazing feelings, and I’m sure you all can agree with me. The past four years have really taught me a lot, I know I sound like the Mallory Barnes, our valedictorian that gave the speech today, but I’m serious, you all have been amazing. Teachers included.” 

Y/n wasn’t in her usual attire. She was in a comfortable baggy hoodie, and that’s all you could see as her camera was propped on the desk in the corner of the room. Her hair was in a messy bun, no makeup, and her glasses were sat perfectly on her nose. What no one could notice was the slight puffiness to her eyes, the way they were red and tired. But Zayn noticed, however. When Y/n first uploaded this to her instagram, Zayn couldn’t bare to watch it, so seeing it now definitely brought back a feeling he tried too hard to push away. 

“In the past four years I have learned about friendships, I learned about love, and I learned about heartbreak. I have got to say, high school brought me some really great friendships that I will cherish forever. I am finding it very difficult to say goodbye, but we are bound to go off and do bigger and better things. The future awaits for us.” 

“I just want to thank you guys for the amazing memories, and I hope you guys make your dreams come true.” Y/n sighed into the camera, she was really bad at saying goodbye, though you would think it would be easier considering no one likes high school. However, Y/n loved every single second of it, maybe not the learning but the memories made.

“Now, I am going to get really sappy for a minute and say a massive thank you to the man who has loved me for the past four years. Zayn, I know we haven’t talked in a few weeks, and you’re probably not even watching this, but just know that I am so proud of you.  I don’t know how I could not be. I really hope you make something wonderful of yourself. You were by far my favorite part of this journey. Thank you for sticking with me and for loving me. And even though we aren’t together anymore, I love you.”

“We almost had it all, didn’t we?” 

AN: Yeah, I don't think I like this babahahah. Love the concept but someone out there could definitely write it better. 

[lovelybarnes]

god- l. laufeyson (part 2)

pairings: loki laufeyson x reader, platonic!tony stark x reader, mentions of nick fury warnings: language and minor angst about: part 2 to god a/n: i apologize for taking so long to post it, i was having trouble coming up with the little details and honestly just writing overall but it’s up!! and another bucky fic will be up tomorrow or saturday!!

loki is suspicious after you leave. in the- admittedly short- time he’s been shoved away and locked in a cage to rot, he had seen you all of two times, and he was enthralled. flabbergasted, too, surprised that a simple mortal managed to stay hidden in the deep parts of his brain and refuse to leave. you were… interesting, just as you had described him: not as a villain, or evil, or horrendous, but captivating; unbelieving that he would do anything for no good reason.

whether that was true or not was still up for debate, so he had yet to decide if you were incredibly intelligent or the simple, stupid mortal he thought you all to be. nevertheless, he found himself slightly disappointed when you left, waving goodbye to him and tucking your book under your arm. while he tried to dissolve the sensation, tony stark came bounding in, standing as close as he could to the glass barrier. stark barked words that loki didn’t care much for, ignoring the man. he could see you wince from inside the elevator, a sliver of your face still available from the closing doors.

“hey, hey!” stark barked, snapping his fingers at loki. the god tilted his head at him, “yes?” he asks, voice dripped in more annoyance than usual. “that girl who just came out of here?” stark started, while loki took a minute to examine his words, “girl,” was she not an accomplished avenger? he thought tony of all people would show the respect that loki thought none of them deserved. “if you even think about doing anything to her, i will bring in the big guy to slam you around some more. you remember him? or do you need a refresher?”

loki nearly scowls at the mention of hulk, body reminding the strange ache that was left after the oaf slammed him into the floor. he only chuckles lowly, though, “how much do you distrust a fellow avenger to believe they cannot handle themselves?” loki muses. tony scoffs, shaking his head, “i really don’t think you’re in a position to question me.”

“i’m a god. i am always in the position i wish to be in,” loki reminds, making tony roll his eyes, “you’ll never see her again if i can help it. and i can,” he says. “oh, but i like her!” loki rebuts, riling tony up, “so sweet, don’t you think?” tony freezes, abruptly turning around and slamming a hand against the glass, “you will not lay a hand on her. i’ll make sure of it.”

“i seem to remember midgardians can usually do as they please,” loki replies smoothly. “and you really think she’ll want to spend time with a monster?” tony questions. loki smirks, “i suppose i simply have a feeling.”

-

tony is seething when he comes to your lab, having switched with steve to come talk to you. you’re humming along to a song he doesn’t bother to recognize. “you’re in a good mood,” tony observes. at the sound of his voice, you turn, taking your earbuds out and grinning at him. you press what he assumes is the pause button on your phone, “tony! i’ve actually been meaning to ask you something,” you begin. tony raises an eyebrow to tell you to continue. “it’s about loki,” you continue, anxious about his reaction. the man pauses, exhaling softly, “oh. i know what you want to- i’m so sorry for doing that to you, y/n. i promised that i wouldn’t put you with him and we should’ve been more prepared. it won’t happen again.”

the confusion is clear on your face, vocally affirming it with a “huh?”

“that’s what you wanted to talk about, right? babysitting loki?”

“well, yes, but no, it actually wasn’t bad, i wanted to bring up the idea of maybe allowing him books? or maybe music or something, i can’t imagine going from having any book at your fingertips to none at all. also, he’s not getting enough food and i wanted to talk to you abou-” tony stops you with a raised hand, “what?” you recognize the conversation won’t end too well, so you try to phrase your words in a way that tony won’t get too angry at. “i just- when i was watching him, i thought we could be a little less… cruel.”

“with the guy who tried to take over earth?” tony retorts, you sigh softly, already beginning to feel resigned. “he still deserves to eat,” you defend weakly, “come on, tony, please? i’ll watch over him myself when he’s listening to music or reading or eating and i’ll take it back when i have to leave.” tony shakes his head, “someone will always be watching, and it won’t be you.” you frown, “why? don’t you trust me? i’m an avenger, tony. i’m not weak or useless, it’s just watching over someone who is literally in a cage. he can’t even escape.” tony’s about to say no again, so you press, “how come nick fury- man who doesn’t trust- trusts me enough to do that but you don’t?”

tony’s fingers squeeze the space between his eyebrows, eyes closed. he contemplates the effects if he refuses, no doubt ending in the thinning-by-the-minute thread that is your trust in him completely snapping.

“fine,” he finally agrees, and your frustrated frown melts back into a relieved small smile, “but everything you give him has to go through someone else first. i don’t care if it’s fury or hill or romanoff or me, but it has to be approved.” you nod quickly, “yes, of course.” tony raises a finger, “and, you will watch him the whole time. you got yourself into this, kid. i trust you can protect yourself from him if you ever need to.” you agree, “absolutely, and, uh-” you reach into your bag, pulling out the book finnegan’s wake, and your old ipod, equipped with a single downloaded song and earbuds plugged in. “i actually have already chosen a book and a song that i think he would appreciate during the time he tells me himself what he would like and while it gets approved, and um,” you push the objects toward tony, a surprised look lining his features, “since you have time now… the ipod has only that one song and i doubt he can do anything with either of the items, although i’ll be here if he does.”

“you picked these out for him?” tony questions, and you nod again, “i don’t really know him, i doubt anybody does, but i thought james joyce was a good guess considering.” tony looks from the objects in your hand back to you, before sighing and grabbing them. “i want to break free?” he asks, holding up the ipod. you feel your cheeks heat, “music is hard, i went for the obvious.”

tony exhales, looking down at the book, “fine, both are approved.”

“what, you’re not gonna check to see if i carved out a hole into the book and put the tesseract in there so he could escape?” you ask sarcastically, taking back the items while he rolls his eyes. “no, i trust you.” you grin, “you better. there’s no reason for you to not,” tony agrees with you softly, genuinely feeling bad while he kisses your cheek in goodbye. “steve was just called on a mission and needs a replacement, so you better get down there. bowser isn’t in a good mood today.”

you huff out a light laugh at the nickname, cradling your dear books and tangling your fingers in the cords of the earbuds while you walk to the elevator. you catch your bottom lip between your teeth while you watch the numbers blink above the elevator doors, nerves from your choices finally making a home in the pit of your stomach and making your grip tighten on the items. you really don’t know him, and one of the few things that you do know about him is that he isn’t the nicest- although you think it probable that it was warranted- which begins the inkling of regret of your carefully-picked choice to form. you try your best to push past it though, attempting to reassure yourself through the fact that loki’s reading options are limited, and as evil as everyone (including him) claims he is, you suspect (hope) that there is something in him that can’t simply disregard kind gestures. you suppose that theory is from what thor has told you about frigga. you hope it’s correct.

the elevator dings, knocking your thoughts off their destructive railroad and your attention to the shield guard wearily eyeing you and what you carry. “hey, wally,” you greet, shooting him a smile as you walk over to him, pulling your id card from your pocket. “what’cha got there?” he asks, sitting up straighter in his chair to look closer at you. “a- already approved by tony stark- book and song for loki. you know how much he had access to in asgard?” you question. he shakes his head, and you sigh, “me neither. but i imagine it’s a lot, and i don’t think he’s been introduced to our books yet.”

wally stares at you for a few seconds, before pursing his lips, “already approved by stark?” he checks, “already approved by tony,” you repeat. “just no ear things. don’t want him to choke somebody,” he instructs, holding out his hand. you oh quietly, hurriedly pulling off the headphones and putting them in his hand. wally only nods then, trusting you enough to not ask for any more reassurance, and pressing a button next to him to allow you into another elevator. the ride is much shorter, and you bounce on your heels, fidgeting with the edge of the book.

you barely recognize when the doors part, the slick-haired god already examining you. “in asgard, it is strongly discouraged to damage books like you are doing,” loki states. you stop your picking, dropping your hand and walking inside. “hello to you too, loki.” the god ignores you, instead focused on what is in your arms. “i thought any pleasantries for you weren’t allowed down here,” he says, eyes focused on your ipod. “ah, not if you ask nicely,” you reply, standing next to the chair, “and, these aren’t for me.”

you set your own book down on the floor- a very cliche wuthering heights, but it was either that or romeo and juliet, and you’d prefer not get caught reading about a forbidden romance while watching a villain- and hold up the one for him, grinning. “so i don’t know much about asgard or its books because thor hasn’t budged yet on taking me, but from what i can gather, you have little to no media from here, right?” loki ducks his chin suspiciously in response. “so i can imagine you haven’t read shakespeare, or james joyce, which reminds me a lot of you, so…”

you offer no more explanation, putting the book on your chair and showing him the ipod, walking closer to the glass. “this is an ipod. it’s used to play songs offline, and i picked one out for you. i don’t know if you’ll like it because i don’t really know what type of music you like or if you like it at all-” you pause, finally recognizing how long it had been since he’d talked. “but, uh, i hope you do.”

you look up at him then, unsurprised to find him already staring back at you. “you did this for me… why?” he queries skeptically. “i told you before; i imagine it’s difficult to go from everything to nothing in a day. and i think it must be boring to be trapped in there all day with nothing to do.”

loki still looks distrustful, but you grab the book, pulling out the key card to open his food slot. “i can’t leave these in here after i leave, but i’ll stay until you finish both,” you assure, pushing the book through the small gap. your ipod is still in your hands as you walk back near him. he looks at you for a few moments longer before his eyes flick to the book. “and there are no… explosives? poison of some kind in that?”

you shake your head, “no, of course not.”

loki narrows his eyes at the paperback anyways, walking towards it apprehensively. “when you want me to, i can teach you how the ipod works and you can listen to the song. it’s by a rock band called queen,” you babble, watching as he slowly observes the book before picking it up at an even more leisurely pace.

“i’m going to go sit over there now. just let me know if you need something,” you can’t seem to stop talking, so you focus instead on your legs moving you back to your seat, picking up your novel before sitting. you’re about to ramble on about something else again, until you notice the publication in loki’s hands, slightly panicking at the immediate rush of satisfaction and happiness it gives you when he opens the first page.

you try to avoid the sound of turning pages when you stay stuck on the same sentence, too concerned about why your neck decided to warm when the god accepted your favor.

“you can play it,” loki voices suddenly, almost as if reading the loud thoughts about your decision on the song. he looks up at you, “reading is usually accompanied by light music, but i suppose i could listen to rock.”

you nod, pressing a button on the small device that makes the beginning notes bounce off the walls of the room. your fingers gently tap along to the beat on the edge of your page without your noticing, too used to the melody to not react. you try not to look too hard at loki to watch for his reaction, too interested if he’ll like it or not.

after the first minute passes by and he doesn’t object to the sound, you count this as a win, allowing yourself to relax into your chair and actually read the words lined on the page, discovering them to make a lovely combination. you only notice when the song ends when loki speaks up, “it is okay,” he compliments, “i enjoyed it. i think i’d enjoy your so called queen.” you chuckle softly, “i thought you would. do you have any favorites here so i can add them for next time?”

“no,” loki responds, not taking his eyes off the page. “i’ll find some for you, then,” you promise, then press play on the ipod again, not missing the tiny quirk of loki’s lips, making you way too giddy than you should be.

-

after it has been over six hours and loki has barely finished finnegans wake, you’re completely sure he took extra time to read it; whether it be to absorb it better or simply have more time with it in his hands, you don’t care, pride swelling up in your chest because you did something right for him. he hadn’t complained about the repeated song, and you can’t blame him. the sounds are a lot more entertaining than the cold silence that usually occupies the space where he resides.

you ask loki more about what he thought, attempting to coerce him into telling you his preferences, until tony is calling you up.

you’re about to leave, both books and ipod in hand when you pause.

“y/n,” loki starts, and you realize it is the first time you’d hear your name out of his mouth. you decide you like how it sounds in his voice, not disregarding how you shouldn’t. “yes?” you answer instead, meeting his eyes. “thank you.”

you swallow, surprised at the genuinity in his voice while you nod, “it was no problem.”

loki finds it disturbing how much he dislikes seeing you walk away.