#but y’know. eventually he won’t be able to eat anything very well or at all

[a-polite-melody]

As much as I’m still dealing with a lot of grief around Diesel’s cancer diagnosis, and there’s the ever-looming uncertainty of when his quality of life will take a turn…

Right now, he’s just acting like a normal old, content cat. If not for the tumour making one of his “cheeks” look double the size of the other, and the drooling and lessened ability to eat hard food that comes with it, you’d almost never notice anything wrong.

I mean, look at him!

[twindevilgang]

Mucho as your boyfriend/husband ~

Yasuhiro Mucho’ mutó boyfriend Headcannons

Ft: Toman, Mentions of Timeskip!Toman

Warning: slight cursing

He must of had fallen hard for you for you two to be dating. Because at some point in his life I don’t think dating ever though to cross his mind, ever. Then you can into his dangerous life.

I feel like he would be into someone who’s the complete opposite of him but he also wants someone who knows stood their ground, someone’s who’s very opinionated and bows how to use their voice. Basically someone who’s very responsible and individualized

Anyway Mucho as a boyfriend can be a little difficult, mainly because he’s a very quiet man and would prefer to keep to himself. It takes time for you to bring him out of his little shell even if he’s just sticking his head out of it slightly, Y’know?

He’s the type that does not care what you do with your life, as long as your healthy, breathing, and not getting into trouble you’re good. Along with that he’s the protective type. Going as far as keeping you a secret from everyone in Toman, only one knowing is sanzu because he trust him enough, and keeping his whole gang life a secret from you. But knowing you, you found out eventually. And not in a good way either

Normally, if he’s not able to bring you home from a school/work he sends out sanzu to go and pick you and take you home.

He can be the possessive type but not to an extended point where it’s just him in being in control. Mucho is a man of trust, he gives you his trust—he expects you to do the same. Which you do. He isn’t quiet the jealous type because he knows you won’t do anything purposely to set him off. Let’s you hang out with whoever you want when ever you want.

Being muchos girlfriend, you yourself have some responsibility with him. And by that I’m talking about waking up in the middle of the night to someone and by someone I mean mucho, knocking at your door all bloody and bruised. You spent most of your night taking care of him, patching him up and cleaning off the dried blood form his body. Would never admit it but really does love it when you kiss his damn bruises all better. But you don’t know that.

Speaking of kissing this and that, mucho absolutely love PDA but there’s a limit in public in private it’s a different story. In public you two would be holding hands—you swinging them back and forth slightly, or you have your arm wrapped around his while he keeps his hands in his pocket. If someone keeps staring at you he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulder or around your waist as he smirk at the person like “yes she mine now move along before I punch your teeth out” in private though it’s a different story. Chilling out the couch, with you sitting on his lap his large hands roaming around your body, not in a sexual way but in a way that prove to him your still there with him

Loves when you scratch the back of his head while he lays his head on your shoulder/chest. Something about your nails gently scratching his neck and scalp brings him a sense of comfort, something he hasn’t been able to enjoy in his life.

Definitely is the type of boyfriend to kiss your knuckles and palms. Giving them gentle kisses as you hold his face in peace. He doesn’t know when he started doing but he knows you like it.

The type of boyfriend to take you out on little driving dates. Would feather do that then take you out on other dates. But when he does have the time and money to take out out to eat or something he’ll take you. He just thinks drive by in his car are more memorable, only because you take little Polaroid pictures and ‘accidentally’ leave them in his car.

You’ve actually gotten pretty close with the captions of toman. Y’know after the whole incident of you finding out he was in a gang, he specifically told you we doesn’t want you I closed in his life and would rather much keep you away from his ‘friends’. Well to bad for mucho because you kissed his cheek before a meeting and you were rather much in a hurry that you forgot you had on lipstick on. You’re boyfriend would not hear the end of it from, Smiley. You apologized because you felt bad

You stayed with him when Toman became known around Japan. Becoming a wide criminal organization. Although you didn’t agree with what was happening and became disappointed. But you really couldn’t do anything about it. A year after, he proposed to you after seven years together. Being twenty-five when you got married. It was a small wedding with close friends family and his co-workers, most that you knew back in your teenage years.

With his big ass check he’s earning now, he spoils you. Talking designer shoes, dress, jewelry, makeup, heck he naught you a new car. Yet you tell him countless times not do spend it all on you. But he thinks you deserve it with the countless times you’ve taken care of him. Him spoiling you is just as a favor back.

You two are not getting younger being 29-31, and you are bony home most of the time alone, you’re a housewife but without the cleaning since mucho does not want you lifting a finger but you do cook, and he’s out working late hours. It took you lots of convincing to have a kid together and after some thought he agreed.

Week’s later you’re pregnant. You two couldn’t be more happy then you two already are.

Took two months off, Kisaki was not happy about that but couldn’t do much convincing for him to stay, Mucho was set on you and his unborn child. Helping you do things as you healed after giving birth a little human.

Mucho is just glad that you were the one to have his child. Y’know even after everyone has grown Smiley still give him shit Bc he was a picture of you and your child in his wallet.

[sweetberrysmooch]

HC: And There Was Only One Bed (Affectionate) [pt. 1]

(Zzzzzzz.....)

(This is unfortunately gonna have to be in several parts, mainly so I can get something out to you guys while still being able to work on the rest ^^)

Basic sleeping hcs with ya boys, and sort of... smell hcs? Idk, I got into a mood and couldn’t stop writing about smells so here it goes lol.

Characters: Dream, Techno, Wilbur.

Warnings: There’s mentions of nightmares in Dream’s and a emotional breakdown in Wilbur’s, but that’s it.

Song Recommendation: Dream A Little Dream Of Me- The Mamas & Papas.

Up Next- Quackity, George, and Bad. [pt. 2]

Hope you have nice day today <3 Enjoy!

Dream:

Depending on where you’ve fallen asleep, Dream will kind of work with your position before he lets himself relax.

He prefers it when the two of you are in your bed, with him near the closest door and on his back and with you sleeping against his side, arm stretched over his middle. It’s a good way for him to be between any intruders that may come and to still have you close. But no matter where you are, he has to make sure that he can protect you before he lets his guard down.

Another position he likes is when you’re tucked against his chest under his chin, sitting on his lap or curled up together in bed. Being tall with a broad chest means he makes a pretty good pillow, so use those puppies when you can 👀👀

Smells like a forest, most times. Almost like wild honey, but it’s a very delicate smell. You don’t notice it until your first hug, when you were upset and crying and he pulled you to into his arms so you could hide your face. Now you smell it everywhere he is, in your house, on your bed, even your clothes smell like him. Neither of you say anything, but he slowly begins leaving his soap at your house. Just in case, y’know, if you ever run out.

Other times, when he seems a little more... off, he smells like the beginning to a storm, like ozone and petrichor. Those days he doesn’t speak that much, and keeps you at arms length. He sits quietly and watches your doors and windows with obvious intent, and is gone before morning. You don’t think he even moved from his spot throughout the night, much less slept there. You don’t see him for a few days afterwards.

Usually he remains as still as a log, but sometimes he has fidgeting fits where he twitches and grumbles to himself. Sometimes you’ll even catch him speaking full-on sentences, though they don’t make much sense. Mostly normal out of place stuff, but once you heard him talking about someone called DreamXD, and figured you’d ask him about his oc the next morning.

He has nightmares often too. It’s hard to tell when he’s asleep but he’ll wake up sweating and trembling and lean over you to check you’re still breathing. He won’t ever tell you what they’re about, but it isn’t hard to guess when he buries his nose into your hair and holds you tightly like you might leave him.

If the two of you aren’t sleeping in your house or completely alone, he won’t sleep until you are. Sleep loss doesn’t quite affect him like it does others until after a pretty long time of not doing it, to which he’ll become surlier and more angry until he eventually just clocks out. He wakes up extremely well rested 2 days later and the process repeats. Sleeping at your house is the closest he gets to proper sleeping, and it’s the only time he can ever feel truly relaxed when doing so.

When he can’t fall asleep, he goes straight to watching you. He gently plays with your hair and fiddles with your fingers, relishing in how unmarred and soft they are in comparison to his much rougher, bigger ones. It’s a sure fire way to get him to mellow out and relax, and he finds that sleep ends up coming much quicker.

(Dream wakes up in warmth one night, with rain knocking on window panes instead of what ever shelter he could scrape together and a fire crackling far off. He deduces immediately that he’s in someones house, and it doesn’t take long before he notices the owner, asleep in his lap. 

Your legs are slung over the arm of the padded chair he’s sitting in, a book (one of his own, he acknowledges, an older version of a well known storybook that he has memorized already) loosely held onto in your hands, and your head rests on his shoulder. 

He expects to feel worried soon, the fear of you getting close to him reappearing to ruin another close moment. But it never comes. All he can feel is the safety and comfort you always emanate, driving away his tension and soothing his mind. He closes his eyes, and falls back asleep.)

Techno:

Techno is very very touch starved ^^; While he may not be the only one on this list that is, Techno is definitely the most…. shy about it. He won’t ever directly ask to sleep next to you, and will actively try to avoid that. He’s afraid of making you uncomfortable but also of being close to you in general? It’s an odd mix of emotions, like eating mints and a hot pepper at the same time and then feeling hell fire burn inside of your body. Anytime the two of you have to sleep in the same room as each other, he will immediately offer you the better spot and go find a chair to sleep in, and he won’t accept a no.

The most you can do is make the choice to go sleep next to him. It’ll weird him out a little before becoming overwhelmingly endearing when he processes the fact that you would rather sleep next to him than somewhere more pleasant. When you’re asleep however, he’ll pick you up and move you to the place where he wanted you to be. He’ll drape his massive cape over your body and (after assuring himself six different times that you are in fact asleep) softly press a kiss to the crown of your head. If he runs his thumb over your cheek once, then thats his business.

Later on in your relationship though, after he relaxes and settles a bit, it’s pretty unusual if you don’t fall asleep next to him. He still won’t outright ask for it, but he kinda just hopes that when he starts his nightly routine before bed that you’ll just join him without needing to be asked. Having you there helps him sleep better, you act as both a silencer for the voices and someone to hold close when he’s at his most vulnerable.

When sleeping in bed together, he prefers to pull you close and curl around you in a half pulled fetus position. He’s usually a heavy sleeper, and actively clings on to you when asleep. It's an impressive feat if you can break free from his strong arms while they’re wrapped around your middle, and you leaving inevitably wakes him up. He’ll go searching for you then, barely awake, just to pull you back to bed to be his teddy bear again.

And speaking of the voices, while generally they’re loud and insistent, occupying his mind more than he does at times, their reaction to you baffles him so much. In place of the usual screaming is gentle mumbling, quiet whispers about how nice you look today or how pink and soft your cheeks look. It’s a welcome relief, and no matter how he hard he ignores the fact that he’s wrapped around your finger, he’s glad to know they care for you as much as he does.

He also smells pretty nice, it’s this natural musk he has mixed with a muted minty scent. The mint smell comes from this fancy soap Phil had gotten him a while back that he hadn’t given much thought about until you said something. Techno’s already a clean kind of guy, but after hearing your praises of his smell he almost begs Phil to get him more.

Snores, but in a quiet reserved way. Sometimes he makes soft cute noises, like little happy sounds when you snuggle into him more, or bashful grumbles when you kiss him before bed.

(Sunlight flickers through the blinds of Techno’s room, streaking across your face and waking you from sleep. Sighing quietly, you lift your head a little and stretch as best you can while being held in place at his side, before snuggling back into your spot, fully content to stay there for the rest of the morning. 

As you enjoy the moment, you savor the gentle snores that rumble in his chest, his strong heart thumping beneath your ear, and the way his hand kneads your hip as he wakes. 

‘It’s a good morning to sleep in.’ Your mind says quietly, and with how he rolls over to face you and kiss your forehead, it seems Techno thinks so too.)

Wilbur:

The way Wilbur sleeps really depends on what Wilbur it is.

To start off though, a few general things. He’s a neat sleeper, doesn’t snore, doesn’t move a whole lot, and smells pretty nice too. His smell also came from a fancy soap he got from Phil, but it smelled like sugar and lemons and it was a lot heavier than Techno’s. He would always take showers before bed because he knew you liked how it smelled, and often he would offered to share it with you (so that you would smell like him). Once he was exiled, he didn’t have the liberty of bathing as frequently as he used to, and he stopped using the fancy soap because he thought it felt tainted. He’d end up smelling like stale air and gunpowder, though he’d never tell you what the smell was from.

With sleep, if it’s pre-Pogtopia Wilbur, you get a fairly standard sleeping arrangement of him crawling up into between your legs to flop down on your stomach with a sigh, waiting impatiently for you to get comfortable and curl around him like you usually do. Your hand comes to cradle his head closer to your chest and he nuzzles into your collarbone before falling asleep near immediately. The two of you wake up tangled completely together and immensely comfortable. Wilbur used to sleep in on days like that, quietly savoring the peace that came with you and your generous hands that would slowly brush through his sleep-messed hair. Even after the election, when he starts descending into madness, the memories serve as a final comfort to him.

Post-Pogtopia Wilbur (Vilbur, if you will) is a stark contrast to his old self. He’s more bitter, more reserved, and even more paranoid. He doesn’t sleep with you anymore, at least never consistently, and the only times he does is when he’s so emotionally fraught that he passes out from the stress and lack of sleep midway through you trying to calm him down. You usually end up just kind of holding him close, praying that when he wakes up you can settle him before he works himself up again. You fall asleep like that, tired and restless.

(He rouses from sleep a few hours later, curled up in your arms and still exhausted from the breakdown. Your chest rises and falls slowly behind him, face smushed into his hair and completely relaxed. 

For a moment, all is calm again. He can pretend that it’s just how it used to be before the election had happened, that the two of you are back at home, happy and stable. 

His hands tremble when they reach for yours, and he grants himself the freedom to cry while you’re still sleeping, ignoring the fact that the next day will be just like the last, and that nothing has changed.)

See you next time :D

[anystalker707]

What do you have there?

Pairing: Gerard x Reader Word count: ~ 1 200 Genre: Fluff Summary: (Y/n) finally gets nipple piercings, byt they're nervous to tell their partner, Gerard, about it.

Requested by Anon

I have been wanting to do this for a time already, I’m not going to lie. The thought was still there in the back of my mind whenever I looked down at my chest or saw anything that could lead me to the subject until I just couldn’t hold myself back anymore and booked an appointment. At the moment Gerard left to go to band practice earlier today I immediately called my friend.

After a quick appointment and light pain, here I am back home and completely unable to keep checking my chest on the bathroom’s mirror every five minutes because fuck, they look amazing. The shiny metal pierced through my nipples and going around it is just so… awesome. It makes me feel so powerful for some goddamn reason, like if they weren’t just some small pieces of metal going through my skin.

Hearing the front door opening makes me lower the shirt at the same moment, still careful not to hurt myself.

“I brought us some food,” Gerard calls from the front door, and I meet him in the kitchen as he lets down the paper bag on the counter. He smiles, kissing my cheek when he walks past me. “How was your day?”

“Good, very good,” I hum, making my way over to check what’s inside the bag and helplessly smile seeing it’s something I’ve been talking about for the past week. “What about yours?”

No answer comes at first, but Gerard is soon walking back downstairs in comfortable clothes. “Same, same. We’re just finishing a song and I think we’ll be able to record it properly soon. I think you’re gonna like it.”

I scoff. “I like everything you guys do, this shouldn’t be a worry.”

“Well, we need to keep up with the good work so you’ll keep liking it.” He shrugs lightly, a smirk tugging lightly on his lips, and he walks away to the living room, probably going to watch something, otherwise he would have his sketchbook and pencils in hand to sketch some random idea that came to him during band practice instead of just tiredness.

Then there’s the food. I want to eat, but I also want Gerard to know I’ve gotten the new piercings, but how the fuck am I supposed to tell him about it? Knowing him, he most likely won’t have a negative reaction, still… What if he does? I mean, it does mean a lot to be, but it’s kinda stupid.

When I walk into the living room, Gerard’s already into the episode of Gotham he couldn’t finish yesterday, half lying down on the couch with his upper back against the armrest, so I sit down by his feet.

Gerard should know about it. Not like he’s not going to know at some point, after all, since we take showers together once in a while, and sometimes he’s in the bedroom already when I come out of a shower or when I’m changing, plus the other uncountable occasions. I don’t think playing it cluelessly when he eventually finds out will be a nice thing, not to mention how extremely awkward it could be.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Gerard cuts through my thoughts and he’s raising an eyebrow at me.

Oh, fuck. “Nothing.”

“Of course there’s something. You don’t get weird due to nothing.”

“Well, what if I did, hm?”

“Then,” he exhales, “it’d also be because of something, and don’t try to deny it because we’ve been together for almost two years now, (y/n). I know you well. I’m stupid, but not that stupid.”

“Yeah?” I chuckle. “What if you are?”

Gerard narrows his eyes at me, humming. “I know you really well, hun, but I know myself even better.”

“Do you?”

A groan comes from Gerard as he throws his head back and I laugh, finding it extremely funny for some reason. Maybe he’ll shrug it off, right? Because he fucking needs to.

He sighs, shifting lightly on the couch. “What did you do today, baby?”

“Oh, y’know, I went out with Kristin, we went to the mall and all.” I shrug.

“And what else did you do?”

“We ate something at a restaurant and bought her some clothes, not a lot.” I lean my head against the backrest, averting my eyes to the TV even if I don’t have any interest in what’s playing, at least right now.

“Okay, then,” he hums, relaxing against the couch again, and turns to the TV, “keep your secrets. It’s okay.” Gerard knows exactly what he is doing and I absolutely hate him for it. Why can’t he keep talking? Just insist a little bit more. Isn’t he curious?

“I hate you, Gerard.”

“And I love you, baby,” he says softly as if the previous talk never happened.

“I got my nipples pierced.”

For a moment, it’s as if my body has life of its own because I only process what happened when Gerard sits up and stares at me with a thousand emotions in a single second, going from a lost puppy to a deer caught in headlights and finally looking at me in disbelief. Does he hate it? Does he like it? What the fuck does that expression mean? His eyes trail down to my chest and fuck, how can he be so confusing? What is he thinking?

I suck in a breath, about to tell Gerard to speak up already when he does so.

“Can I see it?”

The heat trails up the back of my neck and my cheeks, and I look away from Gerard, looking at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. “I… Yeah, of course. Let’s just go to the bathroom, hm? I don’t want to risk anyone seeing it. Windows, y’know.”

Gerard nods frantically and is on his feet before me, hence he’s in the bathroom by the time I walk in, observing me with wide eyes in a way I would’ve already disappeared if his gaze did something.

“Here,” I mumble, bringing my shirt up, and it’s almost comical how his chin falls at the same time my nipples come into view, but there’s something different in his eyes now. His cheeks burn red and he swallows thickly, pressing his lips together as he adjusts his position lightly, unable to tear his eyes away. “So?”

Gerard doesn’t answer, covering his mouth with his hand as he steps out of the bathroom, disappearing down the hall. What the fuck? And I thought he had liked it or that he was at least going to show any sort of reaction. I look at myself looking for something wrong – as if there would be – and I’m about to go after him when he’s walking back with a glass of water in hand. “Y’know…” Gerard cleans his throat. “With all the respect possible, fuck, this is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m not fucking lying. Like– Holy hell, I never thought you would do that, but wow! I just– Fuck.” He furrows his eyebrows and rolls his bottom lip between his teeth, eyeing the piercings once again.

“Oh,” I chuckle, looking down at myself, once again feeling the pride swell in my chest. “I had been with it in mind for a while now, so I scheduled an appointment when I knew you’d be in band practice since I was somehow so nervous about it.” I smile and look back up to see his tongue running between his lips. “But no playing with them until they’re completely healed!”

“And when is that?”

“From nine to twelve months, so you better be prepared!” I grin as he frowns like it was the hardest thing in the world.

_________________

Tagging list: @lubbockshusband

[tinyboxxtink]

"...So I Married A Monster" *Chapter 2*

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Man we just skipped the happy fun times here and went straight into the fire, didn't we? Zero to hundred REAL quick.

What can I say guys, writing is therapy. And I have a lot of demons.

Eventually we'll get some fluff....eventually. Maybe.

Tag List

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@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

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@storiesofsvu

------------------

Rafael went to his car and began to think. He had to trust you would listen to what you said, if you loved him like he loved you, you would. But the thought that terrified him more than losing you right now was that William Lewis was back, and on the loose. He dialed Liv’s number as he sped back towards New York City.

“Liv,” He said very seriously as soon as she answered. “He’s back. Lewis is back,”

Meanwhile

You started to pull yourself together when you heard a small noise from the corner of the room. You saw Maggie standing there with her mouth open.

“Oh baby--” You stood up and walked over to her.

“Why was he saying that, mom?” She had lost her sassy demeanor, and was now just a scared little girl.

“I…” You put a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know, baby girl,”

“I bet it’s because he’s jealous,” She scoffed, now resuming her angry flippant self. “He’s jealous dad is a better dude than him. I don’t know why--”

“We are not getting into this again, Margaret,” You used her full name, letting her know you meant business.

“You don’t…” Maggie paused. “You don’t believe him, do you mom?”

“What?” You blinked, trying to decide whether or not to answer honestly. Her big doe eyes looked at you, begging you to confirm that her dad was the man she thought he was.

“...No, of course not sweetie,” You shook your head and pulled her into a huge hug.

But you weren’t entirely sure at all.

-------------------

The Next Day In The SVU Office

Rafael and the squad had been working all night since he had made the call to Olivia. The squad room was now full of a corkboard full of all of William’s aliases, past transgressions, etc. Except now your name along with Maggie and Kylie’s names were added on a side stem, with “Billy Loomis?” written above it.

“So, you’re sure this chick hasn’t been helping William this whole time? Helping him hideout?” Fin asked Barba.

“What?” Rafael gasped. “No, not at all. No way,” He shook his head violently. “She didn’t even know who he was,”

“....Mmmhmm,” Fin gave the others a look.

“Look Fin I didn’t come here to here you insult my girlfriend--”

“Your girlfriend?” Nick asked. “Didn’t you say she kicked you out?”

“I don’t care, when she realizes--”

“And what if she doesn’t?” Olivia chimed in. “What if she does try to help him now?”

“Olivia!” He looked at her in betrayal. “Come on, you don’t think--”

“You said that he already convinced her to kick you out by just a few words on the phone,” Olivia pointed out. “Now that he knows you two are involved he is gonna try like hell to drive that wedge further and further,”

“But he won’t be able to if she finds out who he is,” Rafael rebutted.

“But if she won’t look, she won’t know,” Olivia stood her ground.

“She’ll look,” Rafael reiterated. “I know she will,”

----------------------

Back at your house

It was late at night, the girls were asleep and you were on your phone in your bed with a bottle of wine. You had brought a glass to bed with you, but you were drinking straight out of the bottle.

What Rafael said yesterday was eating at you. But what was eating at you more was the fact that you were starting to believe him over the man you had shared your life with for almost a decade, a man who you had two children with.

You looked at your phone which had your text thread with Rafael pulled up on it. You went through all the texts you had ever sent. The late night conversations, the little texts in the middle of the day just to say he missed you. He was so good to you, he always had been. He would never lie to you...would he?

You closed the text thread and opened up GOOGLE. You looked to the sky and asked God to forgive you for betraying the father of your children like this; but it had to be done. You typed in the name “WILLIAM LEWIS” and hit “SEARCH”.

---------------------------

At Rafael’s Home

Rafael was staring at the text thread between you from his own phone, rubbing the screen with his thumb. He wanted so badly to call you, but he knew he needed to trust you to do this on your own. Plus, he was sure you wouldn’t answer if he called anyway. While he was staring longingly at his phone, it lit up:

UNKNOWN NUMBER CALLING

He had a pit of dread forming in his stomach, but he answered the phone anyway.

“Hello?”

“Hello there, counselor,”

“How did you get this number?”

“My lovely wife gave it to me, obviously,”

“You’re lying,”

“Am I?”

“Yes, she wouldn’t do that,”

“Oh really?” He chuckled darkly. “You really think she cares about you that much?”

“I know she does,”

“Well, you know that’s really unfortunate for you, because you won’t see her or my kids again,”

“Why are you doing this?” Rafael asked. “Why do you even have a family? What are you going to do with them?!”

“What?” He laughed. “Nothing, counselor. I assure you,”

“Bullshit,”

“No actually, it’s not,” William explained. “Y’know after I had my little...adventure, in New York. I went off the grid. Wanted to live a normal life for a little while. And then I met Y/N,”

“Uh huh..” Rafael listened impatiently.

“And then I fell in love with her, and we had two beautiful girls. And I love those girls more than anything in this world, Barba,” He explained.

“You’re a fucking liar,” Rafael spit. “You don’t know how to love,”

“Believe it or not I do,” William smirked. “I just...don’t show it in a normal way,”

“Right,” Rafael rolled his eyes.

“Hey, look,” William defended. “I was in love with Y/N for a while, I really was. And then--”

“Then what?”

“Then, she got a little naggy,” William shrugged. “She got on my nerves, and I got that itch again,”

“That itch?”

“Y’know, that...itch,”

“You wanted to kill her,”

“I did,” William admitted. “But I figured killing mommy wouldn’t be something I could get past the kiddos, so I scratched that itch in other places,”

“She did say you travelled a lot…’for work’,” Rafael recalled a conversation he had about him before with you one time, in passing. If only he knew what he knew now.

“Yeah,” William chuckled to himself.

His ‘work’ was quite extensive. And it was exhausting trying to lead a double life, but he was being honest when he said he loved his girls. He really did. He loved them more than anything or anyone he had before, maybe ever. He’d never let anyone hurt them...or turn them against him.

“Anyhow,” He continued. “Y’know I may not be in love with Y/N anymore, but you know what I hate?”

“What?”

“People touching my things,” Lewis growled.

“She is not a THING, Lewis. She’s not even yours anymore,” Rafael yelled.

“See I know you’ve never been married Barba, so maybe you don’t understand this,” Lewis lowered his voice to an eerily calm manner. “But when you marry someone, in front of God and everyone you love, it creates a bond. An everlasting bond,”

“Oh give me a break--”

“And that bond, cannot be broken. ‘Till death do us part,”

“...Are you threatening her?” Rafael was vibrating with rage.

“No, of course not counselor,” William replied innocently. “However, if you were to help her break those vows….I might be forced to,”

“Excuse me?”

“Until death do us part, Barba,” William repeated. “That means either she stays faithful to me, or I’ll have to kill her,”

“Don’t you DARE touch her Lewis, do you hear me?!” Rafael’s blood was boiling.

“Well I won’t have to, as long as you leave her be,” William replied calmly.

“....You won’t get away with this,” Rafael growled.

“Oh I think I will,” William smirked. “Because if you send anyone after me, she will die,”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Rafael growled. “You just said your kids would--”

“So maybe mommy gets in a car wreck on the way home, or God forbid robbed in a parking lot!” Lewis taunted Rafael with an evil laugh.

“You’re the fucking devil, you know that?”

“Maybe, but I know I’m a man who gets what he wants,” Lewis chuckled. “I’ll let you go Barba, I know you’re a busy man. And remember, I’ll be watching!”

And with that he hung up on Rafael.

------------------

Almost immediately after hanging up with Lewis, Rafael’s phone lit up again.

Y/N CALLING

“Holy shit…” He blinked in disbelief at the phone. How did you know?

“...Y/N?”

“Rafa,” You tried to keep yourself from crying, you couldn’t wake up the girls. “Rafa I...I saw William Lewis,”

“Oh god,” Rafael put a hand over his head. “Baby, I am so, so--”

“No, I’m sorry,” You cut him off. “I should have listened to you, I should have googled him, not kicked you out,”

“You didn’t know…”

“No but you did, and I should have trusted you. That’s what you do when you--” You paused, never having had said it out loud before.

“....When you what?” He waited with bated breath.

“When you love someone,” You bit your lip, hoping it wasn’t too late to say.

“I knew it,” He smiled to himself. “I knew you loved me. I knew he was full of shit,”

“What do you mean he?” Your eyes quirked.

“Shit,” Rafael realized he misspoke. “Um, well--”

“He called you, didn’t he?” You asked.

“...He said you gave him my number,” Rafael confessed.

“I didn’t, I swear to God Rafa I didn’t,” Tears stung your eyes. “I-I don’t know how he--”

“It’s fine, carino,” He assured you. “He has his ways, I know that,”

“Okay…” You said softly, not really sure he believed you. Damn Billy. Damn him to hell.

“Speaking of ‘his ways’--,” Rafael added with an uncomfortable clearing of his throat.

Oh God. What was he going to say?

“He...we…” Rafael tried to get the words out, he really didn’t want to say them out loud.

“He what, Rafael?” You pressed him.

“He said that I can’t see you again,” He closed his eyes as the words fell out of his mouth.

“What?” You nearly dropped the wine bottle all over your sheets.

“I can’t--” He started to repeat himself.

“No,” You cut him off. “No that is not--” There was no way in hell Billy was going to keep you from Rafael, not now.

“He said he would kill you, Y/N,” Rafael said very pensively.

“Well why hasn’t he done it already?!” You raised your voice, quickly looking to the door to make sure the girls hadn’t heard you. They hadn’t.

“He said your kids wouldn’t forgive him, and he really does love them,” He relayed what Lewis had told him.

“Ugh,” You gagged. “I can’t believe that son of a--”

“Y/N I believe him,” Rafael interjected.

“About what?”

“All of it,” He sighed. “I...I think he really does love your daughters,”

“...Really?”

“Yeah, he said that’s why he left. He wanted to scratch his...itch, somewhere else,”

“Oh my god…” You wanted to vomit thinking about all the “business trips” Billy used to take. If you only knew what kind of “business” he was in.

“...And I also think he’ll be good on his word of having you killed,”

“Having me killed?” You snorted. “By who?”

“Guys like him, they know plenty of...dark people,” He rubbed his eyes, he was getting a headache from all of this worrying. “He probably has people watching your house right now,”

“No, there’s no--” You looked out your window and down the street. Nothing looked out of place, but now you were paranoid. “...There’s no way, I would notice. I’m pretty sure,”

“Look we may be worried about nothing,” The idea just occurred to Rafael’s mind.

“Nothing? Really?” You laughed sarcastically.

“Well look, if Lewis thinks that you believed him over me, just...just keep him thinking that,” He hated the idea of you pretending to still...like, Lewis but he needed you safe.

“You want me to just go about my life like I don’t know my ex-husband is a psychopath?!” You hissed, really attempting to keep your voice down. The girls definitely could not hear any of this. Ever.

“Just for now,” Rafael assured you.

“Do you really think he’ll think I chose to believe him over you?” You twirled your hair nervously.

“Well, I mean you didn’t--” He paused. “You’ve never mentioned me before, maybe he’ll just think we were a...a fling or something,”

“I was introducing you to my kids!” You cried. “I think that’s a little more than a fling,”

“Okay fair point,” Rafael shook his head. “But, it would make perfect sense that you would just believe him at his word that I was the bad guy, right? He’s the father of your children, I’m just some guy you were having sex with for a few months,”

“No you aren’t,” You bit back tears hearing him drag your relationship like that. “You know you’re more than that,”

“I mean for the sake of the lie, amor,” He said with a somewhat endearing tone. He liked the fact that you made sure he knew that was a bunch of shit.

“I guess,” You shrugged, still not liking the idea of having to shit on what you and Rafael had. Even if it was just acting. But you had to, for your life. And for your children’s lives.

“Rafael, what if he suspects something? What if he kidnaps the girls?” Your mind was racing with worst case scenarios.

“Y/N I’m telling you, if you just play it cool, he’ll never think anything else about this,” Rafael tried to comfort you through the phone, but he knew it was somewhat fruitless without him being able to touch and hold you.

“....And I’m just supposed to live like this?” You felt tears in your voice. “Just...just never see you again? After I just told you I--”

“Just for now, mi vida,” He tried not to to start crying himself. He had to be the strong one here. “Just until I can-- figure something else out,”

“...I just want you here,” You whimpered.

Your whimpers pierced his heart like a million knives. All he wanted in that moment was to be next to you, holding you while you cried. Protecting you with his life. But he knew in reality, this was how he had to protect you. And your girls.

“I know…” He nodded his head, a few tears dropping down his face. “I just want to be there,”

“...I-I need to go, it’s late. The girls will be getting up for school soon,” You wiped tears from your own face, putting the wine bottle back in your side table.

“Alright, mi amor,” He said softly, not really wanting to hang up. He didn’t know when the next time he’d be able to hear your voice was going to be, and he wanted every second he had left with you.

“Don’t…” He bit back the sobs in his tone. “Don’t call me, or text me. Wait for me to contact you, okay?”

“What?” Your voice went up a register higher. Now you didn’t want to hang up with him, if he was going to ghost you like this. “No, Raf please, we haven’t--”

“I know,” He rubbed his eyes. “I know we’ve never not talked for even a day, I know. And it’s going to kill me, just know that. You’re my best friend, Y/N,”

“Really?” You blinked in surprise. “Even over Olivia?”

“...Don’t tell her,” He cry-laughed. He knew that would be the last time he laughed for a while.

“You’re my best friend too, Rafael,” You were really crying now. “Ever since I met you, you’ve made my life better. And now I’ve gone and fucked it--"

“Hey,” He stopped you with a stern tone. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong here, you understand me? That’s-- that’s not why I’m cutting you off, okay? I’m not punishing you, please know that,”

“...I know,” You replied in a soft voice, almost like a little girl scared of the dark.

“Okay, good,” He breathed in relief. He couldn’t live with himself if you blamed yourself for this mess.

“I promise-- I swear to you, as soon as I think it’s safe I will come straight to you,” He promised. “The very second,”

“Okay,” You nodded in a more controlled, mature tone. You had to be strong now, you didn’t want him to think you were a blubbering idiot without him. You had survived three long years on your own, you could do it again. You hoped.

“I love you, Y/N,” Rafael repeated it for the third time that day. You wished you could record it and play it over and over again, falling asleep to it.

“I love you too Rafael,” You sniffled.

“...Talk soon,” He said softly, then hung up before he could change his mind about the whole thing.

You both cried yourself to sleep that night.

[nowoyas]

Almost Wet (NSFW)

Masterlist (EA) - Masterlist (General)

A/N: no mom I’m not shopping for lingerie don’t worry I’m writing porn

Summary: Izuku doesn’t sleep often, but when he does, it’s not uncommon for him to dream, and dream vividly.

Warnings/notes: smut. it’s smut. fairly vanilla, mild praise kink (reader receiving), biting. reader has tiddies and a vagina. This is a spinoff to Edible Arrangements and takes place after EA 15, but reading EA is not necessarily required to understand this fic.

Word count: 3100+

It isn’t often that Izuku dreams.

Not that he doesn’t dream nearly every time he sleeps—it’s just rare for him to find either the ability or the willingness to sleep most nights. Whatever he’s doing that night consumes his attention so wholly that he’ll look up to the sound of you moving around the house to get ready for class and realize it’s well past morning and he’s read an entire book in a single sitting.

If asked, he blames his vampire physiology, blames the virus holding his death hostage for his near-nocturnal habits.

Of course, it’s not all his vampirism calling the shots on when he sleeps—if you pried, really pried, he might eventually tell you about the kinds of dreams he has.

He dreams of memories. Typically, not pleasant ones—the rare times he’s sleeping, he finds himself dreaming of mundane airports, of the hours leading up to the worst experience of his life, always knowing exactly what’s coming but with no power to change his course, as though he’s been attached to a rail that will only ever lead him to one destination. He dreams of police stations, of paparazzi, of accusations regarding the deaths of nearly a hundred passengers and flight crew members.

The dreams morph, but the memories are raw and ever-recognizable, twisting only in such ways to remind him: he has no power. He can’t protect anyone. He’d only have to do everything differently for even a chance to save a single person.

So maybe the truth he won’t admit to is not that being a vampire makes it hard for him to keep a “normal” sleep schedule, but that his own memories destroy him, come for assault the moment he lets his guard down. And who could blame him, really, with memories like these?

But then there’s you. Your presence fills a previously too-big house, forces out the loneliness so thoroughly Izuku’s wont to forget that this house used to feel like a tomb. Sometimes now he dreams of good memories, of you cuddled up on the couch with him in an attempt to soothe both your hearts, of you giggling in the kitchen and eating ice cream while he cooks dinner, always of you, any good memories he’d had before his worst day tainted with the knowledge of what’s to come.

Nightmares remain the most frequent. Nowadays, you feature in those, too—the most prominent divergence from reality he sees when he closes his eyes. He dreams of you leaving, never to return. He dreams of waking up and knowing you’re gone, that you haven’t been here in some time, and finding one of your jackets tucked away in the laundry room. But now, he can even dream of all the nice things, a horror-free rest that finds him pushing through days with renewed energy.

Tonight, his eyes drift shut against his will, no longer able to fight the pull of sleep another day, and tonight, he hopes that if he’s to dream, it’s a sweet dream, of closeness to you.

~

He wakes to the familiar feeling of your hands in his hair. Your gentle fingers massage his scalp deliciously, pulling a pleased purr from his chest. His face is enveloped completely in whatever he’d been using as a pillow, something like cotton or lace (maybe both?) scratching against one cheek amid velvet-smooth surface area—his hand rests beside him, little but that same velvet-smoothness greeting his palm and fingertips. He runs his hand over the surface experimentally, attempting to feel out what, exactly, his current pillow is before he opens his eyes—the pillow easily gives way and moves with his hand, a soft gasp entering his ears and shooting straight to his crotch when he realizes it sounds distinctly like you.

He lifts his head, meets your wide eyes with a sense of dread in his heart that almost stops his purring. (Almost.)

It takes him a moment to realize what’s going on, and every part of him (every part of him) stiffens.

His eyes roam the sight in front of (or rather, below) him ravenously. Your jaw slack, pupils blown, hair still sleep-mussed. Bite marks of varying levels of freshness littering both sides of your neck, announcing to the world that you are under the protection of a vampire, that you’re his—

He shudders, eyes moving further down. You’re wearing a tank top that’s maybe a size too small for you—one strap has fallen off your shoulder, and as his eyes trail downward, it doesn’t take a genius to see why.

He’d been laying his head on your chest, and during the night, your tank top and the bra beneath somehow ended up pulled down, exposing most of one breast and all of the other.

Oh god. He must have been moving his hands during the night—there’s no other explanation for how you ended up half exposed, his hand groping you shamelessly in his sleep—you’re going to hate him, you’ll call the cops, you’ll find a group of vampire hunters and—

He's rattling out apologies nonstop, desperately looking for some way to make you forgive him (nevermind that he can’t seem to look away or remove his hand from your chest), when you simply laugh that wonderful laugh and place a hand against his cheek. “Izuku, sweetheart, I’m not mad,” you say sweetly.

His brain makes an audible click in response. “You… don’t hate me for…?”

“No, ‘Zuku,” you reply with an almost coquettish grin gracing your lips. “I-I’ve been waiting for you to make a move, y’know?”

His heart skyrockets into his throat. “T-then… there’s no reason not to keep going, is there?” he murmurs. This feels too good to be real, but if this is what’s going to happen, then so be it, he’ll take it any day.

You shake your head and reach up to remove his hand from your chest—much to his disappointment. You giggle at the pout that unintentionally forms on his lips, fix your bra, and then sit up just enough to pull your tank top over your head, leaving you in nothing up top but a familiar lacy bra that makes his mouth dry.

Recently, Izuku had gotten a… surprise… when he'd seen you struggling to carry your laundry basket and offered his assistance. He hadn't meant to look or anything, really! You'd agreed and passed the basket over, and he turned to carry it down the stairs and found that he was looking directly at your… lacy unmentionables... Emerald lace cups and black straps, sitting innocently in front of his face like they weren’t out to kill him. At the time, he’d gone red, set his jaw, and tried not to acknowledge it, and to his knowledge, you hadn't known what caused it. At the very least, you were kind enough not to bring it up.

Today, you’re wearing that same bra, and it’s even prettier on you—the extra straps above the cup accentuate the curve of your breasts, making them look only bigger in the gentle light of the morning. He thumbs the band idly, jaw slack as he looks you over.

“D-do you like it better on me?” you ask meekly, crossing your arms self-consciously. “I caught you looking at it the other day. You seemed to like it then.”

Gods, he’s sure his blush has spread down his shoulders and to his chest, his eyes still firmly locked on you. “Yeah,” he breathes. “You’re gorgeous.”

“I’m glad,” you smile bashfully, avoiding his near-predatory gaze with a squirm. “I picked the set out ‘cus the colors reminded me of you, after all.”

He inhales sharply at the admission, smooths his hand over the side of your bare stomach. Your skin is so soft. So soft.

“S-set?” he echoes, voice pitched.

You nod, reaching down and pulling at the waistband of your shorts—unfairly short—just enough for him to see another black strap peek out from beneath the stretchy fabric. “Set.”

He’s silent for a long moment, eyes roaming your form in disbelief. “…can I please kiss you?”

“Wherever you want, Izu.”

His lips find yours in the next moment, a hungry growl leaving him as you eagerly kiss him back. You shudder beneath him, tug at his hair just enough to make him weak in the knees. In response, he slides his hands beneath the small of your back and pulls you to move with him until he’s no longer pinning you down, but holding you in his lap, hands resting just above the waistband of your shorts as he greedily kisses you. It’s the first kiss you’ve shared and the first kiss he’s had in countless years, but it feels right, the natural continuation of your joint living situation.

When you break away from him, panting softly, you’re quick to reposition yourself, straddling him just as close as you can get, which happens to place your crotch right over the growing bulge in his shorts. He busies himself by kissing along your jaw, trailing down to place sloppy kisses on your neck and revel in your gasps each time. He finds every bite mark and kisses them slowly enough to drive you crazy, a hand sliding from your hip to cup your breast as he does.

“H-hey,” you gasp out when his hand slips beneath the cup of your bra. “D-don’t you think this is a little—” –he finds your nipple and rolls it between his fingers— “—ah—a little unfair?”

He’s not sure what you mean. He keeps his focus on your neck, fangs grazing teasingly and causing you to shiver. His free arm slides around to wrap around your waist properly and steady you, hardly even recognizing the question.

You yank his hair to get his attention.

He pulls away from your neck with a moan, rolling his hips up against you instinctively. “Wh—”

“C’mon, I wanna see you, too,” you whine, smoothing a hand over his chest and gripping his shirt in your fist. You grind back down against him, letting out the tiniest noise of pleasure as you do. “Can I get you out of your shirt, too, ‘Zuku?”

He nods, letting go of you just long enough to whip it off and away. The moment his arms are freed, he returns them, groping you shamelessly. His lips lower to plant kisses atop your breasts, pausing to suck a mark in the soft skin there. You moan in his ear, giving his ego a booster shot as your hands roam over his exposed torso.

From there, details are a little foggy—at some point, your bra gets pulled down and out of the way, giving Izuku full access to close his mouth over each of your nipples in turn and appreciate the sight of you, topless, debauched in his lap. Every now and then, when he grazes his teeth against your skin just right or moves just the right way, you’ll roll your hips and grind down on his cock.

He'd be content, any other day, to spend hours like this, until he’s marked your tits to hell and back and kissed every square inch of exposed skin, including your thighs spilling out of your short shorts, but the knowledge that whatever panties are hiding beneath your shorts match the absolutely salacious bra you’d so willingly showed off to him drives him forward.

The world blurs as he locks lips with you once again, this time swiping his tongue across your lower lip and eagerly slipping into your mouth when your lips part. His hand winds into your hair, hips grinding desperately against you, and then you’re laid back down on the couch, him hovering above you and breaking away from you to watch as he pulls your shorts off with a sharp yank. You reciprocate by coming for his own shorts, leaving him naked except for his boxers.

You bite your lip as your eyes dart to the sight of his cock straining against his boxer shorts, eyes half-lidded as you look him over appreciatively and bring a hand up to palm against his bulge. He moans aloud at the sensation, and before long you’re pulling him out of his boxers and slowly stroking his shaft as though you’re in a trance.

“How much farther do you want to…” you trail off, eyes never leaving his thick cock.

He pants, bucking his hips into your hand. “As far as you wanna go, [n-name].”

“Then…” Your legs part slightly, and he finally takes the chance to appreciate the bottom part of your little ensemble. Emerald lace and a series of black straps match your bra, hugging at your hips and barely covering anything of importance—

No, scratch that.

You drift a hand downwards and run your index and middle finger up your slit, and it quickly becomes apparent that your panties don’t even cover the important part.

There’s a slit carefully positioned right between your legs. They’re crotchless.

“These only have to come off if you want them to.”

“No,” he murmurs, replacing your fingers with his own and stroking your heat. You’re soaking beneath his fingertips. “I’d rather they didn’t.”

“Then what are you waiting for, ‘Zuku?” You wrap your arms around his neck. “I need you inside me.”

He doesn’t require any further prompting. Immediately, he lowers his hips, guides his cock to rub between your folds, to really appreciate just how wet you are for him. “God,” he moans when he finds your entrance and easily slips the head in. “Y-you’re so—tight—”

You hiss beneath him when he tries to press further in. “Fuck, Izuku, you’re so thick!”

“I know, baby, I’m so sorry.” He presses a kiss against your temple. “You're doing so well. I'll wait for you to adjust, okay?"

“Y-you can move, just, go slow, alright? I don’t think either of us want you to rip me in half, here.”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind destroying you,” he jokes. “But I’d rather you be nice and comfortable first.”

From there, sinking into your heat is easy—you take him so well, and he’s quick to murmur as much in your ear once he’s in to the hilt.

It’s almost too much. Your walls squeeze him tightly, flutter every time he breathes against your neck or murmurs in your ear, and for a moment he’s scared he won’t even get to actually fuck you before he cums. He has to take a few deep breaths, face turned away from your neck even if he desperately wants to bury his face there in case another outbreath causes you to flutter around him, before he can move.

“Izuku, please,” you whimper after a long moment of controlled breathing.

You don’t have to say another word. He rocks his hips against yours slowly, pulling out nearly all the way before slowly sliding back inside. Part of him wants to sit back and watch as he begins slow, measured thrusts into your cunt, watch the way you flutter around him and appreciate how well the lace suits you and your beautiful skin. The part of him that’s in control, however, buries his nose in your neck, inhaling your scent and panting into the skin there.

“Fuck,” he whines when you thread fingers into his hair and give him a sharp tug. The tug translates directly to his hips snapping to meet yours, tearing a choked moan from your throat.

“God, fuck, Izuku,” you whimper as he begins to slam into you, lost in your heat. He’s hardly coherent, babbling swears into your neck as he begins to pound into you, all restraint lost. Your legs wrap around his waist, shaking as he pistons forward, all manner of whimpers and moans leaving your lips.

“Izuku, Izuku, Izuku,” you babble into his ear. “Fuck, I’m gonna—”

“M-me too,” he grunts. “It’s okay, go ahead.”

You cum around him with a cry. He’s so close, so close, your release is so desperately close to pushing him over the edge with you, he just needs a little more, just a little push—

He thrusts into you through your orgasm, his release is so close he can almost taste it, and he growls into your neck, instinctively clamps down on your shoulder with his teeth, and as the sweet flavor of your blood blooms on his tongue, until finally, finally—

Izuku wakes up at his desk, the Word doc he’d left open having remarkably more pages than he remembers being there. (The letter ‘f’ is repeated an uncountable amount on his screen, still more coming before he lifts his hand off the keyboard.) He’s unbearably hard, a strangled whine leaving his throat when he realizes that his own precum is staining through the front of his sweats.

Without really thinking, he takes his hand off the keyboard and slips it into his pants, frantically chasing the release he’d been so close to. He jacks himself off at record speed, shutting his eyes to better recall the image of you dressed up all pretty beneath him in your emerald green lingerie, whining his name almost like a prayer. He barely has the foresight to pull his shirt up and out of the way with his teeth before he cums. The actual release is momentarily blinding—he’s vaguely aware that he slaps his free hand over his mouth to muffle the embarrassing whine that escapes, and he ends up biting down on his fingers to keep from being too loud and alerting you.

For a few moments after, he lays back in his desk chair and pants in the direction of the ceiling, hot ropes of cum cooling against his stomach. He lets his shirt fall down over the mess, investigating his ceiling with great interest as he takes in what just happened.

He just had an almost-wet dream. About you.

You’re his roommate, his… his… you’re you. What the hell is his brain doing, giving him dreams like that about you? How’s he supposed to look you in the eye after this?

But then, that was… much nicer than any other dream he’s had, all things considered.

He'd been way too pent-up. Surely, that must be the cause—now that he's gotten off for the first time in admittedly a very long time, his dreams will go back to normal. For better or for worse. It probably doesn't mean anything that his dream was about you. He knows firsthand that these things aren't always sensical, that there's almost no way that you being the subject of his dream means anything. Right?

But he just… got off. To you.

“Ffffffuck,” he whispers to his empty office, dragging a hand down his face.

Fuck, his thoughts echo.

Fuck.

No tags, I forgot to confirm who wants to be on NSFW and SFW taglists and will be doing so in a separate post.

[carryonmywaywardcaptain]

Miles of Memories- 1

We’ve Got Tonight- Bob Seger

Miles of Memories Masterlist CarryOnCap’s Masterlist

Dean x reader Best Friends to Lovers AU

Summary: Feeling anxious about heading off to college, you make the most of your last night in town with the help of your best friend, Dean.

Warnings: fluffy, adorable Dean and fun banter. Slight angst (goodbyes are hard). Minor mentions of childhood trauma

WC: 2,900

A/N: This part is like a “prelude” to give you a glimpse of Y/N and Dean’s relationship (5 years before the main storyline). I hope you stay tuned for the slowest of Dean x fem!reader slowburns. I’m so excited to share this story, so please let me know what you think! MASSIVE thanks to my spectacular and badass beta crew—@christopher-evxns @deanwinchesterswitch @ezilyamuzed & @wonder-cole—for all of their help and input!! I edited even after their feedback, so all mistakes are my own.  Credit to Bob Seger for the song :) 

Zipping your suitcase closed with a heavy sigh, you worked through your mental checklist for the hundredth time to make sure you hadn’t forgotten to pack anything.

“Jeez, you act like it’s the last time you’ll ever see this place or something.” With a smile and a roll of your eyes, you turned to see Dean leaning casually against your doorframe. “Y’know, I figured I’d talk to Bobby about renting this space out anyway. Save you the stress of missing it while you’re gone because it’ll look completely different the next time you come back.”

“I’m not too worried. I think you’re the last person Bobby would trust with anything—let alone a space in his house.”

Dean grinned, pushing off the doorframe to mosey into your room. “See, normally I’d agree with you. But it just so happens that he gave me my very own key to the garage, so I think he’s coming around. This ready?” He pointed at the suitcase on your bed, and you nodded. 

“Riiight. I’m supposed to believe that Bobby would actually give you a key to come and go at the shop anytime you want.”

Dean shrugged, spinning on his heel with your bag in hand. “Guess he’s looking for a new favorite since you’re skipping town to go be successful out in the real world.”

You snorted and shook your head, silently following him to the door. He stepped out of the way, placing his free hand on the doorknob as you scanned the bedroom one last time. Gnawing your bottom lip, you sucked in a deep breath and tried to alleviate some of the tightness in your chest.

This room had been a safe haven for most of your life, and it was hard to remember the days before you called it “home.” Your mother had passed away when you were a toddler, and your father was a drunk, in and out of jail and your life until one day he didn’t come back. Bobby had often been the one who took care of you when your father needed to pass you off onto someone else. 

You didn’t remember much about the “Travelin’ Man” (as Bobby not-so-lovingly referred to him on the rare occasions he was mentioned), but you could easily recall the night Bobby told you this would be your room for good. The relief and excitement you’d felt upon learning you’d have a space of your own were still vivid. Knowing you had a place you could always return to provided a sense of stability and consistency you’d never known.

Bobby may not have been your father by blood, but he was your dad in every sense of the word. Sure, he was a little rough around the edges and tended to be a hermit, but he also had a heart of gold, and not once had he ever made you question whether he cared about you.

A few weeks after settling into your new home, you had met Jessica and Sam during recess at your new elementary school. Although they were a grade younger, you’d instantly hit it off with them. Jess and Sam had always been there for you over the years, too, willing to lend an ear or make time for movie nights and spontaneous trips to the diner. Eventually, Sam had introduced you to Dean, and the two of you had been inseparable ever since. Each and every memory you had growing up involved at least one (if not all three) of them. But while it was difficult saying goodbye to everyone in general...you still hadn’t been able to grasp the idea of saying goodbye to Dean.

Dean was the one who had been by your side through everything. From heartfelt life chats and your deepest moments of self-doubt to car ride sing-alongs and your loudest belly laughs. He was always there to comfort you, remind you not to take things so seriously, and even drag you into trouble once in a while. 

The thought of leaving him and your safe, familiar home brought yet another wave of apprehension and doubt. What if you were making a huge mistake?

“Y/N...” Dean’s gentle voice coaxed you back to reality. “We’ve still got a lot to pack into our night, so don’t go checking out on me yet.”

Without looking back, you slipped past Dean and heard him shut the door as you made your way downstairs. 

“You know, this wouldn’t be so hard if you would’ve just applied like I told you to. Then we could both be going off to college together, and you’d find out what an honor it would be to have me as a roomie.”

“Okay, well, let me remind you that you’re the one who decided to go ‘see what’s out there’ and get a fancy college degree under her belt. And, even if we did survive being roommates without making the other want to pull their hair out, there’s no way in hell that town would be able to handle both of us.”

“That’s fair.”

“Besides, I won’t have much of a chance to miss you. You’ll probably flunk out and be back here by the end of the semester anyway.”

“Also fair,” you laughed. “Taking a year off to work at The Roadhouse and pretend to get my life together seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’m a little worried about getting into the groove of studying and all that crap again.”

“You know, if you need help, all you gotta do is pick up the phone. I mean, Sammy’s a real bookworm, and he’s only a phone call away.” Dean winked as he held the front door open and motioned for you to lead the way. 

Sticking your tongue in your cheek, you fought to hide your amusement at the way he threw his brother under the bus. Before you made it through the door, you whirled around toward the stairs again. “Dang it. I forgot my bathroom bag. Do you mind tossing that one in the car? I’ll be right back!”

“Another bag? Where are you gonna put all this crap?” he muttered.

After retrieving the pouch from the bathroom upstairs and making sure you hadn’t left any necessary items in the drawers and cabinets, you hurried outside to find Dean patiently waiting beside your car. You tossed the small bag and he caught it with ease, pitching it in the backseat before closing the door.

“And done. Any last-minute stops to make along the way?” he asked.

“Nope. I caught Ellen, Jo, and Jody at the end of my shift yesterday, and Charlie was over for a bit this morning. And, you know, Sam and Jess ditched us for California last weekend. That means you and Bobby are the only two left to put up with me until I leave in the morning.”

When your voice cracked unexpectedly, you cleared your throat and surveyed the scrapyard until the faint prick in the corners of your eyes faded. As your departure drew near and you considered everything you were leaving behind, venturing out into the world was quickly beginning to feel more daunting than exciting. 

“Hey…” Dean gripped the tops of your arms, stirring you from your thoughts. “We’ve got tonight. Who needs tomorrow? We’ve got tonight...babe. Why don’t you staaaaaaaayy—”

You had thought he was going to say something sweet and comforting, but you playfully shoved him in the chest when you realized he was speaking in Bob Seger lyrics. He stumbled back a step, laughing as he walked around the front of the impala and climbed inside.

***

There was an old park on the outskirts of town where Bobby and John would occasionally drop you both off when they had errands to run. As the years passed, you began riding your bikes the few miles across town, taking turns balancing Sam on your handlebars until Dean was old enough to drive. Eventually, Sam stopped tagging along, but somewhere along the way the park became a place you and Dean cherished. 

A large pond stretched across most of the area, and there was a stately willow tree near the water’s edge that served as your designated “spot.” It was a hideaway often overlooked by others, but it was the perfect escape when the two of you needed a place that was all your own. 

“Alright.” Dean plopped down beside you on the blanket. “You’ve got your grub, an amazing view, and the best company you could ever ask for. What else could you possibly want?”

“You’re right. Baby’s good company and all, but she’s not much of a conversationalist.”

Dean grimaced. “Just for that, I might eat your food.”

“Depending on what it is, I might let you.”

He smirked and unrolled the brown paper sack in his hand. “PB&J’s, just like Mom used to make! I asked if she could whip up a few before she flew out to make sure Sam got all settled at Stanford. She said to tell you she’s sorry she couldn’t catch you and to wish you good luck. This seemed like a, uh, better idea at the time...now that it’s been a couple of days, these might taste like shit.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you took the sandwich Dean offered. “We’ve probably eaten worse, but I appreciate the sentimental twist. Seeing as how you’re in your 20’s and you had your mom make us sandwiches.”

“Hey, I was going for authenticity! Trying to help you feel like a kid again before you start adulting or whatever and—you know what? Just shut up and eat your food.”

The two of you unwrapped your sandwiches and continued bantering back and forth between bites. Even though the bread was soggy from marinating in jelly for a few days, and it certainly wasn’t the best thing you’d ever eaten, it brought back a flood of nostalgia. 

When a comfortable silence fell over the two of you, your thoughts began to drift to dozens of adventures you and Dean had had here. You gazed out over the water, watching the willow branches graze the surface as they gently swayed in the breeze. You tried to commit every detail to memory as you soaked in the peaceful atmosphere, not knowing how long it would be until you returned.

After a while, Dean chuckled under his breath, and you looked at him curiously.

“You remember that day we were pretending to be pirates, and Dad ended up coming to pick us up early?”

“Of course.”

“Man, he was so pissed when he saw us standing on top of that picnic table we managed to drag out and ‘sail’ into the middle of the pond. Sure made an awesome ship, though.”

You smiled at the memory, though it was anything but funny at the time. “I think he was a little more pissed at the fact that we left Sam playing alone in the gazebo. And obviously what made the ‘ship’ great was the pirate flag I made.”

“Uh-huh,” Dean snorted. “You mean the crappy skull you drew on our lunch bag and stuck on the end of a stick? Pretty sure we were having a blast with the ship because it was my brilliant idea in the first place.”

“I was like 8, and it was still better than anything you could’ve drawn.” You crumpled up your trash and threw it at him. “And I was having fun--right up until you pushed me off anyway. I nearly choked to death on all that nasty water I sucked in.”

“Okay, well, you shouldn’t have been trying to be Captain when I’m the oldest, and it was clearly my title to begin with. There was no plank to walk, but obviously, you had to go overboard.” 

He grinned, keeping his gaze fixed on the water. As you studied his face and noticed the faraway look in his eye, his smile faded. You figured his thoughts had drifted back to his dad, who had passed away a couple of years later. 

“I felt so damn bad, though. I really was afraid you were gonna drown. And Bobby was ready to kill me when he found out.”

“Lucky for you, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

The two of you joked and reminisced for several more hours, eventually watching the sun set over the water until it sank below the horizon. When it was time to head back to Bobby’s, Dean took the long way home so you could crank the radio and sing along with your hand hanging lazily out the open window. Back at the house, you sat on the kitchen counter and talked with both men until Bobby finally bid you goodnight--but you still weren’t ready to call it a night, knowing morning would come soon and it would be time for you to leave. 

After convincing Dean to stay a little longer, you grabbed a couple of old blankets and spread them in the bed of one of the pickup trucks near the house. With your head on his chest and your body tucked comfortably against his side, you chatted beneath the stars until you drifted off to sleep.

***

“Got everything all packed up?” Bobby asked.

“I think so,” you answered.

“Better double-check because I’m not driving a few hours just to bring you a lost shoe or something.” 

“Is that a challenge?” you teased, seeing right through his gruff quip. “Because I bet I could talk you into it. We both know you’re not gonna know what to do without me.”

He frowned a little before smiling fondly, and you could’ve sworn there was a misty glaze in his eyes.

“Yeah. I s’pose you’re right.”

“Oh, don’t get all sentimental on me now. You could probably use a little break. Besides, I’ll be back so often you’ll just get sick of me all over again.”

“C’mere, kid.” 

Bobby reached out and pulled you into a hug. Much too soon, he let go and stepped aside so you could say goodbye to Dean. His soft green eyes had been fixed on you, but he glanced away and clenched his jaw when you took a step toward him. 

“So, uh...don’t forget about us when you make it big out there in the real world—catch a break as an artist or an author or some music critic.”

“Yeah, okay,” you scoffed. “I haven’t even picked out a major yet, but I think I have an advisor who can help me figure out a good fit...eventually. Maybe I’ll be a doctor—or follow in Sam’s footsteps and be a lawyer!”

“There you go. Why not just do it all while you’re at it? Jack of all trades, master of none. Whatever you end up doing, you better come back to visit soon.”

“You got it. Try not to turn into a grumpy old man while I’m gone.”

He shook his head, cracking a smile as he met your eyes. “Only a couple years older than you, brat. Anyway, I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night, so I made you a playlist for the drive. Figured I might as well do something useful while I was awake. I sent it to you while you were getting ready.”

Pulling out your phone, you found a message already waiting with a link to the playlist. 

“This is awesome, Dean, thank you. But if it ends up being six hours of nothing but Zeppelin, I’m gonna be pissed.”

He tossed his head back and laughed, making the knot in your throat grow once again at the thought of not seeing him almost every day. You couldn’t help but wonder if he’d miss you as much as you were going to miss him.

“Don’t worry; I think it ended up being a decent mix. Not too many classics and not too much of the more modern crap. There was, uh... a certain thought process behind each song, let’s just say that.”

“We all know some of that modern crap is a guilty pleasure of yours. I mean, Taylor Swift?”

“Yeah…” His gaze lingered until his grin faded to a sad smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Pressing your lips into a thin line, you leaned forward and threw an arm around each man. Squeezing your eyes closed, you hugged them tight.

“All joking aside...you got nothing to worry about. You’re gonna kick this college thing in the ass,” Dean murmured.

“Thank you.”

Clearing your throat, you slipped out of their embrace and quickly made your way to the car. 

“Drive safe--and call when you get there!” Bobby hollered.

Stealing one last glimpse over your shoulder, you waved and slid behind the wheel. You hit shuffle on the playlist, letting the music fill the vehicle while you fasten your seatbelt.

I know it’s late

I know you’re weary

I know your plans don’t include me...

You shook your head and smiled, blinking back tears at the irony of the song—the lyrics perfectly encapsulating your night with Dean.

Look at the stars so far away

We’ve got tonight

Who needs tomorrow?

We’ve got tonight, babe

Why don’t you stay?

As you started the car and drove away, seeing him and Bobby grow smaller in the rearview mirror, you finally began to cry.

Part 2

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Also tagging those of you who seemed interested when I posted the masterlist. I don’t want to pester you, so I probably won’t tag you in future parts unless you let me know that you’d like to be tagged!

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[legoshi-plz]

Touch (Legoshi x Reader)

Summary: Angst. Legoshi opens up to Reader one night about why he won’t touch her. (This is slightly Anti-Haru/Dark-Haru)

Warnings: NSFWish Themes. Manipulation, Coercion, etc.

////////

You were in bed currently freezing. It was winter which meant you and your boyfriend liked to keep the heat off so that you two didn’t get too hot cuddling, seeing as you were both wolves and grew thicker pelts during the colder months. However right now neither your pelt, nor blanket were any help in shielding you from the bitter December air. You looked over to Legoshi on the other side of the bed. He was curled into himself tightly and looked to still be awake.

“Goshi...” you cooed, running your fingers alone the fur of his back. He was insanely tense. “Why are you all the way over there?”

“Oh, I, uh, hadn’t noticed,” He was still a terrible liar.

“Well why don’t we fix that,” you wrapped your arms around him and hooked your leg over his waist. Usually he loved this position, always taking on the role of the little spoon like a champ but now he only tensed more. You retreated, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable.

“Is.... is there a reason you don’t want to touch me, Legoshi?” You’d seen him draw into himself before at times but never to this extent.

“N-no....”

“.... Is there a reason you don’t want me to touch you?”

“.....”

“Goshi...”

“Maybe, okay.”

“Would you like to talk about it?” You prompted after a moment.

“Would you be mad at me if I said ‘no’?” Legoshi peeked at you from over his shoulder.

“No, I wouldn’t be mad.” You said, almost reaching out to touch him again then stopping yourself. You were so used to showing Legoshi physical affection as a form of comfort, you were unsure of how to express it in other ways.

“Then... no...?” Legoshi said almost childlike, as if he were afraid of being scolded anyway.

“Then no.” You hopped off the bed and Legoshi immediately shot up into a sitting position.

“Y/N, wait! I didn’t mea-“

“Relax, Legoshi, I’m not going anywhere. I’m just turning on the heater,” you smiled, trying to quell the uneasy feeling in your gut. You could tell by the near fearful look in Legoshi’s eyes that whatever he was going through was bad and it hurt like hell that you couldn’t help him right now.

Once back in bed with the heat on and two extra blankets, one of which you offered to Legoshi, you began to try and relax your alert system. You knew he could feel when your hormones were on high alert so you figured the only thing you could really do for him now was relax and try to sleep, hoping it would inspire him to drift off himself.

“Y/N.... I’m sorry....” Legoshi groaned in the darkness, his back still turned to you.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” despite him not being able to see you, you turned to face his form anyways.

“I still love you, y’know?”

“I know, Goshi, I know.”

/////////////

The next morning you awoke to a blazing heat. Legoshi has attached himself with you during the night and both your bodies were so entangled, you weren’t sure where yours ended and his began.

“G’Morning,” Legoshi murmured into your neck, startling you slightly.

“You’re awake....” Legoshi hummed in response and seemed to embrace you tighter.

“Are you feeling better?” You asked, basking in the feeling of his limbs wrapped around yours. Once again he hummed in agreement.

“Are you... ready to talk about it? Or would you rather we drop the subject altogether?” Legoshi was silent for a moment, contemplating his options.

“We can talk about it.... over breakfast?”

The next thirty minutes found the two of you at the kitchen table with plates of eggs (Legoshi’s Favorite) and pancakes in front of you both. You were about to reach for the syrup when Legoshi started suddenly.

“Remember when I told you I had a little.... experience dating intraspecies?”

“Yeah I remember,”

“Well I guess I never really talked about it beyond that point but it was my first girlfriend actually. She was a rabbit and she was older than me.” Legoshi looked over to you and you nodded for him to continue.

“I was a virgin at the time and she... wasn’t,” Legoshi blanched at the memory, “I was fine with that though! It wasn’t a big deal for me but she was very... assertive about what she wanted. And I just wasn’t ready to give it to her. Not how she wanted.”

“So she laid the pressure on pretty heavy and eventually I just... caved. We did everything on her terms when and how she wanted it, even if it hurt,” Legoshi seemed he was saying this more to himself than to you.

“Hurt? Did you.... hurt her?” You kept your face neutral to let him know you weren’t going to pass any judgement regardless of what his answer was.

“No, not her. Whenever I would- when we- it’s such a vast size difference, y’know. So when I would... put it in.... it didn’t feel good for me. It actually hurt pretty badly, it was way too tight. But she enjoyed it so I just kinda... endured it.”

“She was aggressive, despite her size, and she didn’t really treat me as an equal. She usually got... satisfied by a number of different guys but since she was with me, I had to make up for all of them. That was the ultimatum, my devotion to her pleasure or her unfaithfulness. And you know better than anyone how possessive wolves can be, so the latter wasn’t really an option for me.” Legoshi gulped and closed his eyes. You were stunned into silence.

The very notion of a rabbit strongarming a wolf was almost comedic in its irony yet everything about this situation was the furthest thing from funny. You always knew your boyfriend was different than the average wolf. He was kind and soft and loving. He was a pacifist and he kept pet insects for crying out loud.

“I wasn’t really happy, being with her that is. But I felt like that was how it was supposed to be. That I was supposed to give her the final say because I was- since she was-“ Legoshi was grasping for words but nothing seemed to come out.

“Take your time, Goshi. I’m here,” you would have killed to be able to touch him, to let him know physically you weren’t going anywhere but you doubted that was what he needed right now when he was reliving these horrors.

“When we broke up I felt... worthless. For a long time. It was like I had lost all value beyond my body and I couldn’t even do that right apparently. So that’s why it’s hard for me to.... touch.... and be touched. I know I’m not with her anymore but sometimes my body just... repels touch. It makes me feel dirty, and pathetic, and like I’m right back there with her again.” As he said those words your heart was breaking.

“I’m so sorry, Legoshi.” You whispered, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes. “But you aren’t any of those things. I know it doesn’t mean anything coming from me...”

“It means everything coming from you!” Legoshi reached over the table and grasped you hands in his own.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. And I know I’m a little messed up in the head but that’s never going to change how I feel about you.” You could tell Legoshi was sincere and meant every word of what he said.

“What can I do to help? How can I try to make it better?” You asked rubbing light circles on his hands with your thumb.

“There’s really not much you can do, it’s something I have to come to terms with on my own. Which I am, the process just isn’t always so smooth,” Legoshi chuckled without any real humor, “ but for now.... you could come over here.”

“Legoshi are you sure? I don’t wanna push you too far if you’re not comfortable?”

“I’m sure, I’m sure. Besides, even though my body repels touch sometimes, it doesn’t stop me from missing you like crazy.” You could hear the slight hunger in his voice, the yearning clear in his eyes. You walked around the table and perched yourself on his lap. His arms instantly curled themselves around your body, one hand ducking under your shirt to rub the fur of your back while the other administered loving strokes to your tail. He was semi-hard and you could hear a faint growl escape his lips as you adjust your self on top of him.

“I love you...” you purred, trailing feather light kisses along his jaw. Legoshi hummed in content.

“I love you too, Y/N, and I’m always going to do my best to show it,” he pledged, his arms tightened around you to hold you still while he ground his pelvis upwards into you. He was getting harder by the second and you could tell if you didn’t stop now, you were gonna get worked up.

“Let’s just eat breakfast for now, big boy. There’s plenty of time for all of that later,” you smiled, attempting to get up from his hold but he wasn’t budging.

“Five more minutes?” Legoshi asked, his hands sinking into the plush fur of your hip. He knew that spot was your weakness.

“Fine, five more minutes.” You grinned. You had a feeling the two of you weren’t going to make it to breakfast.

[moonlit-jeno]

snapshot | l.jn

pairing: lee jeno x reader

genre/ warnings: smut, thigh riding, hand jobs, masturbation

words: 2.6k

Jeno is going to pass out.

It’s not because of the lack of sleep he had gotten, the fact that he’s about to miss the deadline for his essay, or because he’s been eating like shit the whole week. It’s not even because of the disgustingly graphic horror movie Renjun had made him watch. It’s because you, his very attractive roommate, have sent him a picture.

Nothing like the normally cute selfies you normally send him, or the ones taken from an awful angle to get a laugh out of him. This one’s sexy. Blue lace just barely covers your breasts, your necklace fitting perfectly in your cleavage. Your lips are parted slightly but they’re swollen, as if you’ve been biting them.

The sheer speed with which all the blood in his body rushes to his cock is fast enough to make him lightheaded almost immediately, and he stares at the picture long enough that it’s permanently ingrained behind his eyelids. Which is a problem. A big, big problem.

He realizes just how big of a problem it is when he gets a hand around his cock, guilt swimming in his stomach as he realizes that he’s about to jerk off to his roommate. His wonderful, lovely roommate who he is friends with. Did he have a mild crush on you? Yes. But your relationship is nothing but strictly platonic. And yet...

Even when he puts his phone away, he can’t stop thinking about that picture. You must’ve sent it to him on accident. Why else would he get that picture?

His phone dings and he opens it, hoping it’s Jaemin asking him to play video games. Lord knows he needs the distraction.

It’s not.

It’s you again. The attachment is a video this time, and holy fuck. The video starts with a shot of your legs, a pair of matching blue panties that just barely cover your pussy. There’s a soft moan, and Jeno’s ears strain to pick up on it.

“I’m so wet for you.” You sigh, letting your fingers slip under the fabric. A gasp leaves you at the feeling and Jeno wishes that he could see what you’re doing, but the fabric blocks his view and he wishes that he could rip it off of you. “God, I wish you were here with me. You’d fuck me so well.”

You move your fingers up to the camera and fuck, you really weren’t lying when you said you were wet. The digits are glistening and Jeno audibly moans. He fucking ascends when you pop the digits in your mouth, moaning around them obscenely. The video ends and yet Jeno is too overwhelmed you process anything, just sits there with his phone in his hand and his eyes glued blankly to his wall.

He can’t stop the images from playing in his mind, but he manages to pull it together enough to come up with a response.

Jeno [11:53pm]

did you mean to send this to me?????

Roomie [11:54pm]

huh

OH HOLY FUCK

NO

IM SO SORRY PLEASE DELETE THOSE

HOLY SHIT

Jeno [11:54pm]

haha it’s okay

i deleted them no worries

Roomie [11:54pm]

im so embarrassed right now

Jeno [11:55pm]

dont be

it happens to the best of us

can i come talk to you or do you need a minute to finish up

Roomie [11:56pm]

asjdhjsksj DID YOU HAVE TO PHRASE IT LIKE THAT

anyways yeah give me a min

Jeno wills his boner to go down and takes a few deep breaths, eventually standing from his chair and making his way down the hall. He bounces on his toes and checks the time. It’s been 3 minutes. Surely you’re ready now?

“Come in!” You yell when he knocks and he timidly lets himself in, shutting the door softly behind him. He can’t help but notice how adorable you look right now, wrapped so tightly in blankets that your face barely peaks out. Jeno notices the hoodie you’re swimming in is his, and it fills him with a strange sense of... something. Pride? Happiness?

“Hey.” He starts, standing awkwardly at the foot of your bed.

You take a moment before repeating the greeting. Neither of you know what to say and a horrible silence fills the room. Your laughter breaks it.

“This is so awkward, holy shit.” You giggle, breaking out of your cocoon a little bit. “I can’t even remember a time where it’s been this bad.”

“It was literally less awkward when we first met and that’s saying something.” Jeno snorts, taking a seat on the edge of the bed when you pat it.

The two of you laugh until it peters out into another silence. You clear your throat. “Uh. So about the, uh, pictures. I’m really sorry, I definitely didn’t mean to send them to you.”

Jeno laughs again, hoping that it doesn’t sound too strained. “Yeah, I kinda figured. It’s no big deal though, I already deleted them.”

“It’s not like I would send you nudes anyways, that’s stupid. I’d show you in person.” Jeno’s eyebrows nearly shoot off of his face with how high he raises them, a confused “huh?” leaving him. You laugh. “Y’know, because you’re right next door. Are you okay?”

He somewhat recovers. “Oh! Yeah, yeah, for sure. Face to face contact and all that.” His heart is still beating much too fast, his knee bouncing as he thinks about you showing up at his door in nothing but skimpy lingerie, a pout on your lips as you whisper that you’re so wet and that you need him to do something.

“Mhmm, exactly. Anyways, can we agree to forget about this?” You ask, and Jeno definitely won’t be forgetting about this anytime soon, but he nods anyways and murmurs an “of course”. You beam. “Cool! Are you gonna go to sleep? Because I was about to start a movie if you wanna join.”

Jeno shakes his head, the proximity driving him crazy. “I got an essay to write that is due,” He checks the clock. “9 minutes ago. Maybe another time?”

You open your arms and pull him in for a hug. “I’m holding you to that. Have fun writing your essay.”

He groans. “Oh yeah, the most fun.”

It’s when he gets past your door that you stop him. “Hey Jen?” He pauses, glances back, but doesn’t open the door to peek his head back into your room. “I’m glad it was you I sent the pictures to.”

He pretends like he doesn’t hear it, his mind already a jumbled mess.

The next few weeks are surprisingly not awkward. You both ignore it like you promised, going on with your routine as if it had never happened. Well, as much as possible, anyways.

Jeno is a young man in his prime. He has a very high sex drive. And yet, he hasn’t been able to jerk off in two weeks because every time he tries, he thinks of you. And the guilt that consumes him is always too much, so he ends up with a cold shower and a shit ton of frustration.

But two weeks is a long time to be pent up. So when you pop into his mind while he’s relaxing in bed, he can’t stop himself from grinding his hips down into the mattress. A little bit of relief turns into him humping the mattress like a dog, biting into his pillow to muffle his moans. You’re not home so he doesn’t really need to be quiet, but it’s a force of habit.

Your name still slips past his lips, and no matter how guilty he feels, he can’t stop. He groans your name and flips onto his back, wrapping his fist around his cock and nearly sobbing at how good it feels. His hips snap faster and faster into his hand and he’s so close, so fucking close-

“Jeno?” Your voice is too close to be a part of his imagination and it takes a moment for him to realize why.

His head snaps up and he makes eye contact with you, dread rushing through him. “Shit, y/n, I didn’t-“ He doesn’t finish, doesn’t know what he didn’t do, just yanks the covers up to protect the last bits of his dignity.

You swallow. “My class got cancelled. I uh, I heard you call my name and I didn’t realize that you were...” You trail off, making a vague gesture with your hand.

It’s bad, he knows, but he can’t stop himself from continuing to stroke himself at a torturous pace. He’s hidden from sight by the blanket and he grinds the heel of his palm into the head of his cock, biting his cheek so hard he tastes blood. It’s hurting more than it’s helping, and he knows it’s bad to keep doing it while talking to his roommate who he was just getting off to, but he can’t bring himself to care.

He grimaces, ready to try and talk himself out of it (or at least attempt to) when you continue. “Do you want help?”

Jeno’s eyes nearly fall out of his head and he hisses as he accidentally squeezes his cock too hard. You’re looking at your feet and maybe you’re just as embarrassed as he is.

“I mean, you’ve already seen my nudes. I wouldn’t mind, like, seeing yours too.” Jeno is hallucinating. There’s no way this is real. Shakily, he nods.

You move to sit down next to him, a little stiff, your eyes meeting his for a moment before flickering down over his torso. He jolts as you brush your fingertips along his arm, moving down the limb until you reach his hand, which is still fucking gripping his dick. You giggle when you realize that he’s been jerking off the whole time you’ve been in the room.

The covers are pulled down and your eyes widen briefly. Jeno’s self-conscious for half a second before you’re gasping out an “oh fuck, you’re big”. His ego inflates and he can’t stop himself from smiling.

“You must be close, yeah? Couldn’t stop touching yourself, even when I caught you.” Jeno groans, half in embarrassment, half in pleasure. You brush your fingers of the tip of his cock, just teasing around the head and his hips launch off the bed into your touch.

“Bet you were hoping I caught you. That’s why you were calling my name, isn’t it?” You lean close to brush your lips over his earlobe before moving down to leave wet kisses along his neck. He pants heavily, head tilting to give you more room.

Pleasure clouds his senses when you finally take pity on him, stroking his cock with a tight grip. “You’re the one who sent the pictures.” He pants out. There’s heat pooling his gut and he rolls his hips up into your grip, fucking into your hand.

“Aww, you liked them? Let me tell you a secret.” You move so that you’re straddling his thigh, leaning down to suck a hickey into his chest, and Jeno doesn’t miss the way your subtly rock your hips down. “I was thinking about you when I took them.”

That does it. Images of you picking out that lingerie with him in mind, posing and sucking on your fingers for him, touching yourself while imagining it’s him flash through his mind and it’s too much to handle. Jeno comes with a loud groan of your name, panting shallowly and digging his heels into the mattress. You work him through it, dragging out his pleasure until it’s almost too much and it starts to get painful. A loud whine leaves him and you laugh.

Jeno’s ears are ringing and his brain has turned to mush, so it takes him a while to realize that he’s got an arm locked around your body keeping you anchored to his chest. It also takes him a moment to notice how you grind down against his thigh, how you whimper and moan as you chase that bliss.

He just about comes again when he notices that you’ve got your fingers in your mouth, sucking and lapping at the digits to clean them of his come.

“Fuck,” He groans softly, tensing his thigh and pressing it up against you. “That feel good, baby?”

A hum leaves you, eyes opening to meet his own. You look thoroughly fucked out, sweat beading on your forehead, pupils blown wide with lust. “Yeah, I’m so close.”

Jeno’s hands move without him telling them to, grabbing your hips and pulling you down against his thigh harder, faster. He grips at your ass, loving the way it feels in his palm, and he brings one hand down softly. A slap sounds through the room and you keen, hips stuttering against him.

“Come on baby, let go.” His voice sounds utterly wrecked, deep and gravelly and what was supposed to be a casual phrase comes out as a command. You can’t do anything but moan in response, babbling out some variation of “please, please, I’m so close, I’m so- ohfuck.”

Your pace grows sloppy as you come, sobs leaving you as Jeno forces you to maintain a quick rhythm via his hands on your hips. Watching you fall apart is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He can’t tear his eyes away from you.

“Too much, I can’t- Jeno, I can’t-“ You shake and twitch on top of him and it fills him with satisfaction, seeing that he made you like this. He softens his hold, moving one hand up to your back and anchoring you to his chest. You bury your face into him with a sigh.

Jeno’s content to lay there and rub your back for a bit, maybe get some sleepy cuddles. But you push yourself up onto your forearms and disappointment fills him. He expects you to leave, expects things to be so unbearably awkward between the two of you that you have to move out, expects- well, anything except for the pair of lips pressing to his own.

The kiss takes him by surprise and he makes a muffled noise, taking a moment to coordinate himself enough to kiss back. You’re smiling into the kiss and it makes him smile too, his hand coming up to cup your jaw.

“So you sent me those nudes on purpose.” Jeno teases when you finally pull away, gasping for air. Your eyes widen before you’re shaking your head and giggling.

“No! I actually didn’t. They were meant for Mark, but I was thinking about you when I took them, so I guess my brain decided it would be a good idea to press your name.” You shuffle down a little bit so that your legs fit perfectly with his, limbs tangling together.

Jeno brushes your hair off of your forehead, stroking your scalp softly. You hum and melt into him. “Well, I guess you missed the mark on that one.”

It takes a moment for it to register but when it does, your head snaps up and you glare at him. “That was horrible, oh my God. I’m breaking up with you.”

“But we’re not dating?”

You turn shy, laughing and hiding your face. “Oh yeah. Well, would you maybe, uh, want to?”

Jeno can’t fight the smile that takes over his entire face as he looks at you. He leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. “I would love to.”

[guqin-and-flute]

please tell me everything about yanxiyao. i am invested. nay, i am obsessed. an ot3 made up entirely of people who Deserved Better and they are GETTING IT. i don’t care if it’s deep, agonizing 3AM thoughts that make me question how i think about life and love and the mortifying ordeal of being known or if it’s pointless fluffbits scrounged up from your daydreams. GIVE THEM TO ME

AHA, this delighted me, I’m so glad!! [rubs hands] Okay, you have unlocked the avalanche, stream of consciousness, here we go. Boy howdy this got long, so full rambling under the cut. 

So I’ve already outlined how it starts with JGY, but you’ve probably seen that and I’m probably going to actually write a getting together fic at some point if the scenes start falling out of the sky into my head, so I’ll skip past that for the time being and start with the beginning of the triad. It begins in a most definite V with JGY as the hinge--Xichen and Yanli are very careful and considerate about each other’s time with him and try very hard not to overlap. Most things are separate--sex times, dates, meals (unless it’s everyone [siblings, et. al] eating together), sleepovers. 

However, something happens. Perhaps JGY starts asking to spend a day with both of them, perhaps the greeting conversations when Xichen visits grow longer and warmer and bleed into sitting together over tea, laughing, and forgetting the days plans. Perhaps the way Xichen delights in holding their daughter and playing so very patiently with her begins to completely charm Yanli.

Perhaps it’s when Yanli and JGY leave the toddler with Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng to go for a nice leisurely trip together to Gusu but the weather turns and they have to stay in an inn in the middle of nowhere overnight and Yanli’s health takes a sharp dive all of a sudden and JGY sends a Jin butterfly to tell Xichen the situation and that they’re going to be late. And it’s only after he’s sent it that it comes to his attention that this rinky-dink village’s doctor actually lives in the next city over and is out of town for his daughter’s wedding or something idiotic and won’t be back for days--he has learned this after a slog through the rain to said doctor’s empty house in said next-city-over and then returned to demand of the innkeeper what exactly he’s playing at, sending him out like that when he knew the doctor wasn’t there. And he’s in the process of not strangling the innkeeper when the door bursts open and it’s Xichen, completely waterlogged and anxious and JGY is appalled that he’s just flown through a thunderstorm but secretly very, very relieved he is here. 

And so they go upstairs and Yanli is incredibly happy to see both of them, especially since her fever has gotten worse and she is freezing. She wants snuggles and JGY reasons that they should both get in on it, because more body heat, y’know (he’s only trying to help, there are limited options, here) but he and Xichen both are completely soaked from traveling in the rain and they hesitate. Yanli is very much, ‘Oh noooo, the 2 hot men who need to snuggle me are covered in wet cloooothes?? Whatever shall we doooo?’ And the both of them are very seriously trying to tell her that Xichen will need to take off his robes if they’re going to be in bed together and is she okay with that and she’s like, ‘WhaAaaAaat? 😲 Holy cow, I guess I’ll suffer through :3c’ And they laugh and snuggle and sleep and the next few days is them taking care of her while she apologizes for getting sick and ruining the trip while they maintain that this is very nice, actually, minus her feeling terrible. They don’t actually visit Gusu and just end up spending time together in the inn while she recovers.

So, after that, Yanli and Xichen’s relationship becomes a lot more physically affectionate--they hug when they see each other, they kiss each other on the cheek, Yanli and JGY both snuggle up to his sides when they sit alone on the pavilion with the curtains drawn. The both of them have talked separately with JGY about whether this is okay, whether they’re overstepping any boundaries, and his response was basically an incredulous, ‘Are you joking? This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’ And so the 3 of them spend more and more time together, and maybe there’s a night where they’re all in Xichen’s guest room at Lotus Pier, maybe having a few drinks, and they get onto the subject of how good of a kisser their A-Yao is and he protests saying that they’re biased because they haven’t kissed anyone else, so how could they know. And Xichen flushes and grins, “Aren’t you sly?” and JGY blinks innocently and says, “I don’t know what on earth you could mean 😇!” and Yanli is biting back a laugh and also a little pink but tilts her chin up invitingly and they do kiss and it’s lovely and JGY realizes exactly how much he enjoys that. And from then on, the Xichen’s guest room is more of a formality/decoy than anything else and their suite just so happens to get updated with a bigger bed because, y’know, reasons.

✨Vibes✨:

-WangXian matchmaking happens in earnest when YanXiYao first start their arrangement because now JGY has a concrete reason to find more excuses for more frequent visits from the Twin Jades

-Something about the 2 of them together makes it so that JGY can break down more easily--when it’s just Yanli, he still feels very protective and it’s hard to show his anger. When it’s just Xichen, he doesn’t want to cause him pain, and it’s hard to show when he’s hurting and despairing. When the three are together he is able to let them hold him more easily instead of withdrawing and isolating himself, and it frustrates him, but is also very good for him. 

-Xichen and Yanli have a very intense and deep affection for each other that rides the fuzzy line of romantic and alterous; they enjoy cuddling, kissing, they definitely aren’t averse to having sex with each other but it usually happens when JGY is involved in some way, whether everyone participates or it’s a voyeuristic situation in whatever capacity (though this may be impacted by the fact that he doesn’t live with them and most days, Yanli is pleasantly lukewarm about sexual activity in general, so who’s to say it wouldn’t happen naturally, in time?) 

-Xichen and Yanli have a relationship that has grown beyond just what they have with JGY and have a wonderful time talking together, giving each other gifts, and exchanging letters. There is a shared exasperation for JGY’s treatment of his health and often look to each other as back up (JGY is annoyed. They simply smile.) They don’t feel the need to really categorize their relationship besides the fact that they love each other, consider the other their best friend, are deeply fond of one another, and plan to all stay as they are for the rest of their lives. (Maybe, eventually, this will lead to a secret marriage ceremony, just for the 3 of them).

-It was after the inn/fever incident that she insisted Xichen call her A-Li

-All 3 have a devious streak and it makes for some very sweet 2 ganging up on 1 and showering them with kisses and affection.

-JGY and Yanli write him joint letters as well as individual ones of their own 

-JGY and Yanli view Xichen as an equal status, commuter sort of parent and ask for his opinions and advice on parenting things. Xichen loves the kids like his own and gets to essentially have a kid without the complicated feelings of them being his heir and going through the Lan’s strict practices and corporal punishment. He takes them at Cloud Recesses for a few weeks every year.

-Each of the men have their own guilt attacks, now and again, Xichen about his involvement being selfish (Heirs! Propriety! His uncle!) and JGY over wanting too much (Infidelity! Reputation! A-Li!), and Yanli--who has done enough soul searching and has very comfortably decided that, no, she is quite fine being happy--calmly sits them down, gives them tea, kisses their foreheads, and makes them hold hands with her as they watch their kids play. 

[noona-clock]

False Hope

Genre: AU, Friends to Lovers

Pairing: Jae x You

Warnings: Anxiety

Words: 3,835

You let out what could only be described as a combination of a sigh and a whine as you, yet again, opened your eyes to glare at your bedroom ceiling.

Your mind was racing, as it was wont to do -- this was nothing new whatsoever, and thinking about all the work you needed to get done for your job tomorrow and the day after was preventing you from getting any sort of rest.

With the arm closest to your side table, you reached over and felt around the surface for your phone. The last time you had checked the clock, it had been about half past one in the morning; what time was it now? You’d been lying here trying -- and failing, obviously -- to go to sleep for what seemed like quite a while now... maybe it was two? Quarter past?

When you brought your phone up to your face and saw what time it actually was, another sigh-whine escaped from your lips.

2:45 AM.

So, you’d been attempting sleep for over an hour since the last time you’d looked at your phone. And for quite a few hours before that, too. Since 10 PM, to be exact.

...Yeah, you weren’t getting any sleep tonight.

As you turned over onto your side, you unplugged your phone and typed in your passcode to bring up your text messages. There was only one thing you could do at a time like this: text Jae.

You weren’t sure why you were surprised when you saw him read your message almost instantly.

More often than not, when you couldn’t sleep, Jae was also experiencing the same trouble. You imagined that if the two of you shared a room, you would have many -- many -- late night/early morning conversations because neither of you could sleep.

But... you weren’t sure why you would share a room with Jae because he was your friend. One of your very good, very close friends, but not the type to share a room with.

When you saw his typing bubble pop up, you shook your head a little, dismissing the thoughts of being in the same bedroom as Jae.

...What did he mean ‘what’s up’? It was almost three in the morning. Did he think you would be texting him about something important?

Since both of you currently lived alone, you had no qualms about talking on the phone in the middle of the night; nobody else was around for you to disturb, and usually talking to Jae helped ease your mind -- at least enough for you to be able to actually go to sleep.

As soon as you saw his call come through, you accepted it and put him on speakerphone.

“Yo,” he said, his voice groggy and quieter than normal.

“Hey,” you sighed.

“Why can’t you sleep?”

With a groan, you replied, “I just have so much to get done in the next couple of days for work, and I can’t stop thinking about how I’m going to do it all. Trying to schedule out each task and what I need to do if I don’t finish something because then I would have to work on it next week but I have meetings and a big presentation next week so I really can’t afford to add something else to my workload and my dad called me earlier and said my mom is starting to get headaches again but they can’t afford any more treatments especially if she has to stop working so what if I have to move back in with my parents again to help them out and what would I do with all of my furniture and stuff I mean I can’t just sell everything because I’ll need it eventually but I can’t take it with me because there’s no room and I guess I could find a storage place but I don’t know how long I would have to live with them and --”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jae interrupted gently.

You were honestly glad he did, though. You hadn’t any idea you were going to ramble like that when you’d started talking. Apparently, you were more anxious about things than you even realized.

“Sor -- sorry,” you breathed, your chest heaving slightly from having said so much in so little amount of time.

“No, you don’t need to be sorry,” he told you. “I just wanted to stop you before you hyperventilated.”

A soft, self-deprecating chuckle escaped your lips, and you murmured, “Thanks.”

You heard Jae take a breath and then there was a pause during which you could clearly imagine him pressing his lips together in thought. And then he said, “I’m sorry all this is happening to you right now. If there’s anything I can do, you know you can come to me, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” you replied. Jae was just that kind of friend. He may not always remember your birthday or remember to text you back (really, the only time he was good about that was when he was lying in bed having trouble sleeping), but he was reliable as hell when you needed a listening ear or some advice about something. You could trust him -- and you did, with every fiber of your being.

“You’ll get everything done you need to get done,” he assured you. “I know you, and I know how hard you work. It may seem daunting, but you got it. And if you don’t finish, call me over and I’ll help.”

“Okay,” you chuckled, a soft grin tugging at the corners of your lips. “I will.”

“And... about your family. I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to think about all the things that could happen. Doing that never sends you down a pleasant road. If you focus too much on the future, you’ll forget about the present.”

“Ah, yes, you are an expert at focusing on the present, aren’t you?” you replied teasingly -- because he really, really wasn’t. He was just as bad, if not worse, than you when it came to worrying about tomorrow or the next day or the day after that.

“Dude, shut up,” he scoffed. “I’m trying to help you.”

“I know, I know,” you grinned. “Thank you, really. And I know when the sun rises, everything will seem a lot better.”

“Except for the fact you have to go work on barely any sleep.”

“Very true.”

You let out yet another sigh and rolled onto your back before remembering that it was almost three in the morning, and Jae was up for a reason, too.

“What about you?” you asked. “Why can’t you sleep?”

Unexpectedly, there was a slightly awkward pause after you asked that.

You furrowed your brow gently and opened your mouth to ask Jae if he was all right, but he answered before you got the chance.

“Nothing -- just general -- y’know, same old same old.”

You immediately narrowed your eyes in suspicion.

“Jae,” you chided. “Come on. You can tell me.”

Never in your several years of friendship had Jae ever not told you why he couldn’t sleep. The two of you had crossed that threshold so long ago; you were comfortable telling each other anything.

At least... you thought you were comfortable telling each other anything.

“I... I don’t think I can,” he murmured.

“Of course you can! You know I’ll never judge you, and if it’s something you don’t want anyone else to know --”

“No, it’s not -- it’s not that, Y/N --”

“Then what? Please -- Jae, I just want to help --”

“I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking about you,” he blurted out.

You immediately froze, your mouth hanging open mid-sentence but emitting no sound whatsoever. Every single part of you just froze, including your heart.

In your mind, you said ‘Excuse me, what? What do you mean you can’t stop thinking about me? Do you mean in a romantic way?’ But, for some reason, you could find absolutely no way to say that out loud.

As if Jae could actually hear your inner thoughts, though, he said, “I can’t stop thinking about you. I... think I’m falling for you.”

All right, that answered your question, then.

...Jae had feelings for you? For you? Feelings? Jae? You?

“You --” you began, but the next words got lodged in your throat and you couldn’t continue.

Jae let out a very disappointed sigh, and to be honest, it kind of broke your heart. “It’s okay,” he muttered. “I didn’t expect... Things won’t get weird between us, I promise. You can still text me when you can’t sleep.”

You nodded, forcing yourself to choke out an “Okay.”

“Is... there... anything else you want to talk about?” he asked. It was very obvious he was trying his best to be normal, trying his best to push away all the awkwardness his confession had created.

And if he was trying his best, then so should you.

“If you could clone anyone -- person or animal -- who would it be?” you asked.

Jae didn’t answer right away, and you knew -- hoped -- that meant his lips were curving into one of his adorable little grins.

“My --”

“Don’t say ‘myself,’” you interrupted with a laugh.

“Why not?! I could make my clone do all the boring stuff so I can just game and eat and maybe actually get some sleep!”

“You can’t say yourself, that’s just the rule of the game!”

“It’s not a game! You just asked me a question!”

“Well, I’m making it a rule,” you retorted.

“Questions don’t have rules!” Jae argued.

“Mine do.”

“Who would you clone?” he asked.

A grin immediately appeared on your lips, and you said, “I would clone you.”

“Wha -- me? Why me?”

“So I could make you do all my boring stuff so I could just eat and watch TV and sleep.”

Jae burst out laughing, and the sound of it made your heart feel so warm and fluffy. “What? No, no, no, dude,” he protested. “You can’t clone me so I can be your servant, that’s messed up!”

“I can! And I would!” you giggled.

“Okay, so then, I would clone you and do the exact same thing.”

“That’s fair!” you assured him. “But if the clone was actually a carbon copy of me, you know I would never do all the work and let you just sit on your ass, right?”

“Wait, but I thought the clones were more like robots,” he pointed out.

“Who said they were like robots?”

“I don’t know, I just assumed!”

“So, you would make robot me do all your chores while you just sit around and watch?” you asked, hoping the playful smile on your lips wasn’t showing through in your voice.

“You would, too! You brought it up first!” Jae accused, but you could hear the laughter behind his words, and it made your smile grow wider.

“Wow, what a great friend you are,” you replied with teasing sarcasm.

“What the hell, man,” Jae chuckled. “Be quiet.”

This was exactly what you loved about having Jae as a friend. The two of you could go from talking about serious issues one minute to laughing and teasing each other about robot clones the next. He could comfort you and distract you. Help you and amuse you. You truly valued your friendship with him -- more than anything, really.

...Were his romantic feelings going to put a wrench in that? Even though he promised it wouldn’t?

Surprisingly, after you hung up with Jae, you did manage to get some sleep. Only a few hours, but it was enough to have a dream.

And... what a dream it had been.

While some parts had been kinda weird -- as dreams usually were -- the main plot had been that...

Well.

Jae had been your boyfriend.

Holding hands, cuddling, hugging, kissing... the whole deal.

You knew you’d had a dream like this because Jae had admitted he was starting to develop feelings for you, so the idea of being in a romantic relationship with him had been introduced into your brain.

But... did that explain the fact that you woke up feeling... really... nice? That you didn’t want the dream to end? That you wanted to go back to sleep and continue on living that scenario of Jae being your boyfriend?

And did it explain the fact that you spent basically the entire workday thinking about it? And basically the entire rest of the week? And most likely the upcoming weekend?

Well, at least you hadn’t been overthinking and worrying about all the work you needed to get done (which you did get done, by the way). And your dad had called you on Friday afternoon after your mom’s doctor’s appointment, saying she was just fine, so there was that, too.

But as you left work on Friday evening, you found that finishing your workload and receiving good news about your mom’s health only freed up your mind to think even more about your Jae Boyfriend dream.

This was not good.

And it was not good mainly because Fridays were your “Hang out with Jae in the evening” days. It had become tradition sometime last year, and since then, you’d hardly ever missed a week. If you told him you couldn’t make it tonight -- just a few days after he’d confessed his developing feelings for you -- wouldn’t that be just a bit too obvious? Even though your reason for skipping would actually be... not that?

No, you had to hang out with him tonight as you usually did. You had to pretend like everything was as it usually was.

So, when your phone started vibrating as you headed toward the bus stop, a small smile tugged at your lips and you answered without hesitating.

“What are we ordering tonight?” you asked in lieu of a greeting.

“I was thinking chicken,” Jae answered. “Sound good?”

“Absolutely. Just make sure I get my potato wedges this time,” you warned, only half-teasing. The restaurant had forgotten them last time, and while you thoroughly enjoyed the chicken itself, your meal would have been that much better with potato wedges.

Jae chuckled softly, and the sound made your heart do this weird little flippy thing. And the thought of his smile made it flip even more.

“Don’t worry, I will make sure they include your potato wedges -- on penalty of death.”

“Much appreciated. I’m almost to the bus stop, and the bus is pulling up, so I gotta go. See you soon?”

“Yeh,” he murmured. “Safe travels.”

“Bye!” you chirped before quickly hanging up and picking up the pace so you could make it to the stop on time.

As soon as you sat down on the bus after scanning your card, you got out your phone again and pulled up your favorite game. If you simply sat on the bus all the way to Jae’s place with nothing to distract you, you would start thinking about your dream again. And you had to do everything you possibly could to not think about your dream right before you saw him. If you, in any way, held the image of Jae being your boyfriend in your mind when you arrived for your weekly hangout, you felt like you would be giving him false hope.

Jae was too precious to you to do that.

But... even though you focused all of your energy on your phone game the entire bus ride... as soon as Jae opened the door and grinned at you, the imagery from your dream -- your warm, glorious, wonderful dream -- came rushing back to you.

You remembered what it had felt like to hug him. To hold his hand. To kiss him.

“Y/N, you okay?” Jae asked with a slightly furrowed brow.

You jumped a little, not realizing you had been standing there staring as everything about your dream had filled your mind.

“Y--yeah,” you breathed. “Yeah, sorry. Just... long week.”

Jae opened the door wider, and you stepped through, hanging your bag and jacket up on the hooks by his door.

“Have you heard from your parents yet?” he asked as he gently closed the door behind you.

“Oh! Yes, my -- my dad called me just before I left work,” you told him. “All her tests came back fine, so the doctor said there’s nothing to worry about.”

Jae left out a soft sigh of relief, and your heart clenched at the sound of it -- in a good way. He was just such a sweet person to care so much about your mom. How had you never realized how sweet he was?

“The chicken will be here soon,” he told you, once again interrupting your thoughts. “Wanna game while we wait?”

You raised your eyebrows slightly and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

Jae headed over to his couch then, and you followed suit, perching on the cushion next to him and reaching for your favorite game controller on the coffee table.

He barely even got to the start menu of your collectively favorite game before he stopped and turned toward you.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

You jerked a little with surprise and glanced over at him.

“...What do you mean?”

“Something’s wrong, I can tell. It’s not your mom... is it work?”

“No -- no, everything’s fine,” you assured him.

Jae let out another sigh -- this one not of relief but of minor annoyance -- and set down his controller, leaving the start menu playing over and over again on the television screen.

“Come on,” he urged. “I know something’s bothering you. And we tell each other everything. I told you something I would’ve rather not told you... You can trust me, and I want to help.”

You furrowed your brow down at the controller in your hands, your fingers gently running over the buttons without actually pressing them.

He had a point. A pretty good one.

So, just like he had a few days ago, you blurted out your answer. “I had a dream the other night where we were dating and it felt really nice and I’m sure it was just because of what you told me but it still felt really nice and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and now I just kind of want to kiss you to see what it actually feels like but I don’t want to give you false hope or anything because I really don’t know --”

“It’s okay,” Jae interjected, though his tone was far more casual than you would’ve expected.

You paused, furrowing your brow even more and turning your head to look over at him. “...What’s okay?”

“You can totally kiss me,” he replied with a shrug. “I don’t mind, and I won’t automatically think we’re together. I’m an adult! I know how these things work!”

“...Are you sure?” you asked warily.

“Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, nothing more.”

Well, this was something you never knew about Jae -- though it wasn’t surprising considering the two of you had never discussed kissing before.

You stared at him for a few moments more, and then... before you lost your nerve... you went for it.

You leaned in and swiftly captured his lips, moving your hands to cradle his face.

At first, you thought you didn’t really feel anything. Your lips were on his, gently pulling and sucking on them, but... that was it. But then you felt his arms slide around your waist. He pulled you just a little bit closer. He clutched at the back of your shirt. He delicately caressed the small of your back with his thumb.

And your heart and stomach and lungs and basically everything in your body went wild. There was fluttering and somersaulting and leaping. You couldn’t tell if your heart was up in your throat or down in your stomach. You couldn’t tell if there were a billion small butterflies flying around in there or if it was just one giant dragon. You couldn’t tell if you wanted him to stop immediately or keep kissing you forever.

...Okay, that was a total lie. You definitely wanted him to keep kissing you forever.

And that thought, ironically enough, made you pull away. You searched his face as you continued to cradle it in your palms, trying to both catch your breath and think of something to say.

Luckily, Jae beat you to it.

“...Did it feel as nice as in your dream?” he murmured.

You nodded.

“So... what do you wanna do?”

That was a very good question.

What did you want to do?

Slowly, you let your hands fall from his face, but your eyes never left his for even a millisecond. It was like you were hoping the answer to that question was somewhere in his eyes, and if you just kept looking, eventually you would find it.

But, of course, you didn’t. So, you simply responded with a question of your own.

“You really do... have feelings for me?”

A very attractive smirk tugged at one corner of Jae’s lips before he said, “Yeah. I do.”

“Like -- really and truly? Because the last thing I want is to eventually ruin our friendship --”

Jae interrupted you by ducking in and briefly pressing his lips to yours.

“Really and truly,” he whispered. “Trust me.”

And... for some reason, that was all you needed to hear. Trust me. Because you did trust him. You knew you could because he had always been there for you. He had always been by your side whether or not you needed him to be.

So, you nodded. You tipped your chin in a very tiny nod, and when the loveliest smile spread across Jae’s mouth, you couldn’t stop yourself from indulging in yet another kiss.

Except a knock on his front door cut through the air before you had the chance to actually kiss him, and Jae sprung off the couch to go answer it.

You knew it had to be the chicken delivery, so you called out after him. “Make sure they brought my potato wedges!”

“On penalty of death!” he replied just before he opened the door.

You bit your lip to keep from smiling, and a thought rushed into your mind -- the thought that your late night, can’t sleep phone conversations would probably be pretty different from now on.

I mean... you would probably still talk about robot clones and dinosaurs and the Mandela Effect and soulmates and all that. You would still tell each other everything. You would still listen to each other and be there for each other.

So... never mind. Your conversations wouldn’t be all that different. Just everything else would.

And you knew now it wasn’t false hope. It was very real, and... it was perfect.

[marauders-venting]

Spin The Bottle Part 2

pairing: wolfstar (remus x sirius), jily (james x lily)

genre: fluff

warnings: none

words: 2883

a/n: here is part 2! I haven’t decided whether i like this or hate it but oh well

Remus and Sirius sit on the Astronomy Tower kissing and kissing and kissing. Remus has wanted this for so long, has wanted Sirius for so long that now that he has him there is no way he’s ever letting go. He’s finally allowed to hold Sirius, to touch him, to kiss his lips, his cheeks, his jaw, his neck. They kiss until their lips are red.

“You’re a good kisser, Moony,” Sirius says, smirking at him as they sit on the Astronomy tower, side by side, hand in hand.

“Not as good as you,” Remus said, bumping their shoulders together.

“Well, obviously,” Sirius says, flicking his hair back and they both laugh. “Give yourself a little credit though, Rem. You had me kind of weak in the knees there.” Remus blushed and looked down as a smile tugged at his lips. He wondered when he would be able to accept compliments with as much confidence and effortlessness as Sirius did, if ever.

“Can I ask you something?” Remus asks.

“Of course,” Sirius says.

“How long have you… you know… wanted to do that?”

Sirius laughs a little. “A very long time,” he says. “More than a year now.”

“A year?” Remus said in disbelief. “How come you never said anything?”

“Same reason you didn’t I suppose,” Sirius said shrugging. “I was afraid to fuck everything up. I didn’t want to lose you.” Remus nods. “Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“I…” he swallows, “I think I might be in love with you.” Remus smiles and squeezes Sirius’ hand.

“I think I might be in love with you too, Sirius,” he says.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” says a voice behind them. “Enough with the ‘I think’ bullshit. I know you love each other. And you know it too. Or at least, you should. Anyone with eyes can see it.”

“What the fuck, James?” Sirius said, as James landed beside them and got off his broom. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to say you’re welcome,” James said. “For getting you two together cause God knows you were never going to get there on your own.”

“What are you talking about?” Remus said.

“Who do you think has been helping Lily carry out her plans?”

“You know, Prongsie,” Sirius started, using the nickname that James said he hated but everybody knows he secretly loves it, “I find it very hypocritical that you tell us that anyone with eyes can see we love each other and that we would’ve never gotten there on our own when anyone with a functioning brain can see that Lily likes you. And yet you somehow seemed to have missed that.”

“Nope,” James said. “I’m not falling for that again.”

“I’m serious,” Sirius said.

“You’re always Sirius,” James said. “Anyway. She’s made it pretty clear where she is. She said no. I’ve accepted it. It’s ok. Plus, I just… don’t wanna get my heart broken again, okay?”

“But you won’t though. She’s into you, I swear; you can tell. Right?” Sirius said, turning to Remus for support.

“Yeah,” Remus says, slowly. “But I still don't think you should go for it.”

“What? Why not?” Sirius demanded.

“Let Lily take her time. Let her figure out what she wants. She’ll come to you when she’s ready. You don't want to piss her off again by being an asshole.”

“And if she doesn’t?” James asks.

“She will. Eventually. I’ll talk to her.”

“You really think she likes me?” James asks, hopefully.

“Enough with the ‘I think’ bullshit,” Sirius said in his best imitation of James which wasn’t that good really. “I know she likes you.”

“Okay, okay I get it,” said James. “I did actually come here for a reason other than saying you’re welcome though.”

“Yeah? It better be important,” Sirius said.

“It is. You need to sleep, Sirius. We have a Quidditch match tomorrow and you need rest if we’re going to win,” James said.

“Ugh. Fine, Mum,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll be there in two minutes.”

“I’m counting,” James called as he mounted his broom and flew down to the tower on the other end of the school and in through the window of the Gryffindor common room.

“Knowing James, he really is counting,” Remus said.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” Sirius said. “Still though, he won’t fly back out unless I take a really long time. I’d say we have about five more minutes until we have to start going back.” A grin spreads across Sirius’ face as he leans in slowly and kisses Remus. The kiss is different this time than it was before. It wasn’t as hungry and desperate. It was soft, gentle.

“I love you, Moony,” Sirius murmured against Remus’ mouth.

“I love you too Padfoot.”

When Remus woke up the next morning, the dorm was empty but this didn’t surprise him. James wanted the whole team to eat breakfast early so that they had time to warm up a little before the game. Remus changed quickly and went down to the Great Hall to grab some food before the entire school went outside to watch a game that Remus was entirely uninterested in. Except for the parts where he could watch Sirius play.

Remus was half convinced that everything that had happened last night was a dream which is why he was pleasantly surprised when he got down to breakfast and Sirius pressed a light kiss to his lips, blushing furiously.

“Morning,” Sirius muttered, turning his attention back to his toast but still unable to hide the contagious smile on his face.

“Morning, love,” Remus said. And now it was his turn to blush and smile like an idiot.

“As adorable as you two are,” James started, rolling his eyes and earning a kick from Sirius under the table, “ow, fuck! Sirius, we have a game, I can’t be injured!”

“Oh calm down, you don’t need your legs to fly,” Sirius said.

“Just get your arse down to the pitch, will you?” James said.

“Fine, let’s go.”

“Good luck,” Remus said, smiling at his friends as they and the rest of the team went to prepare for the game.

Lily, Remus, Dorcas and Mary went down not long afterwards to get good seats in the stands. The game was about to start and the two teams walked onto the pitch. James shook hands with the Ravenclaw captain and they mounted their brooms.

People started scoring points and a bunch of other things happened that Remus wasn’t really paying attention to. He was watching Sirius — the muscles in his back flexing as he swung the bat back to hit a bludger — happy that for the first time he didn’t need to hide his staring. It was only when he noticed that he wasn’t the only one staring dreamily at one of the players that he tore his eyes away from Sirius.

“Staring at a certain Quidditch captain now, are we?” Remus whispered in Lily's ear. Lily blushed and tore her eyes away from James, jabbing Remus in the ribs. He winced.

“Scar’s still healing,” he grunted.

“Oh god, Rem, I’m so sorry,” she said.

“It’s fine,” Remus said. “So you’ll admit you were staring at James?”

“Shut up,” Lily murmured, crossing her arms. “I wasn’t staring.”

“Really? Cause it seemed to me like you were checking out his—”

“I will elbow you again,” she threatened. Remus raised his hands in surrender. “Besides, you’re one to talk. You haven’t taken your eyes off Sirius since they came out onto the pitch.”

“True,” Remus said, shrugging, “But Sirius is my boyfriend—”

“You’re welcome, by the way—”

“Wait,” Remus gasped. “Are you saying James is your boyfriend? Is this a confession?” Remus knew that James was not Lily’s boyfriend. But the first step to getting there was to get her to admit that she actually likes him and Remus thought he might have a way.

“What? No!”

“Then you want him to be,” he said, crossing his arms in satisfaction.

“What— I… no, I— ugh,” Lily groaned, turning red and burying her face in her hands. “God, I’m as terrible at hiding it as you were, aren’t I?” Remus laughed and nodded.

“There’s nothing wrong with that though,” Remus said. “You liking him, I mean. He’s a good guy. And he really does care about you.”

“Yeah,” Lily sighed, resting her chin in her hand and staring at James again.

“So,” Remus said. “Are you going to do something about it?” Lily shrugged and Remus decided that it was best not to push the subject.

---------

Lily wasn’t surprised when Gryffindor won. She knew that James was training them hard. And with the number of Quidditch practices they had in a week, Lily had barely seen Marlene, Sirius, Peter or James for days. But now with the whole house celebrating in the common room, they were the center of attention. Everybody was crowded around them, asking them questions about the match and congratulating them on the win. Nobody was drinking (yet) because everybody knew that McGonagall often paid visits to Gryffindor Tower after they won Quidditch games to make sure that the parties didn’t get too lively.

Lily saw Remus sitting in the corner of the common room, reading a book. Occasionally he would glance over at Sirius and smile. Lily had been a bit unsure of her plan to get him and Sirius together at the time but now she was unbelievably glad that she had done it. It had only been a day and Remus already looked infinitely happier.

“Hey, Rem,” she said, sitting down next to him.

“Hey,” he said.

“Why aren’t you joining the party?” she asked.

“Too crowded. Too many people,” he said. Lily nodded. She knew that being caught in a sea of people all pressed together would give Remus a lot of anxiety. “What about you?” he asked. Lily merely shrugged but her eyes landed on James.

“You could just talk to him, y’know,” Remus said, following her gaze. “If you really like him.”

“You don’t think he’ll…”

“He’ll what?”

“I don’t know. I said no, didn’t I? I made my decision. And now I’m going to ask him out? Seems stupid, doesn’t it?”

“No,” Remus said, shrugging. “He asked you out… what two, three years ago? He’s changed. It’s that simple. Since Sirius moved in with him, he’s changed. And so did your feelings.” Lily nodded. She stood up and went over to the party, grabbing a beer and taking a sip. She weaved through the crowd over to where James and Sirius were still the centers of attention.

“Where’s Remus?” Sirius said in Lily’s ear as soon as she was close enough. Lily pointed out the corner where Remus was reading. “Thanks,” he said and ducked out of the crowd.

“Hey Evans,” James said, giving her a one-armed hug. “We won!”

“Congratulations,” she said. He looked to see where Sirius had gone and smiled fondly when he spotted him with Remus, now holding hands; Lily felt her insides melt and her heart pound when James turned to smile at her. She smiled back and tried to breathe. Remus was right. She should just talk to James.

Someone had just brought out a bottle of firewhiskey, drawing people’s attention elsewhere, so Lily figured they could slip away unnoticed.

“Potter,” she muttered, jerking her head to a corner away from both the party and their friends. He nodded and they both stood up and retreated quietly to the corner.

“Is everything ok?” he asked her, leaning against the backs of one of the armchairs.

“Yeah everything’s fine, I just…” And for once, words were failing Lily. She had no clue what to say or how to say it. All she knew was that she wanted James. So, instead of fumbling for the right words, she just leaned towards him and kissed him.

Lily couldn’t help laughing at the ridiculous(ly adorable) look on James’ face. He was smiling like he’d just been informed that he’d won the lottery but wasn’t sure if it was real or not.

“Was that… Did we just— did you just….” James stuttered.

“I like you, Potter,” Lily said, stepping towards them and closing the gap between them. “And I’d like to go out with you. If you want to.”

“I… yeah, that’s all I… I’d love that,” James said, smiling at the floor and shaking his head. He looked up at Lily and brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Yes,” Lily replied, sounding more breathless than she meant to. So they kissed again. It was slower this time. They took their time, learning the feeling of each other’s lips. When they broke apart James still had that incredulous look on his face and was smiling at the ground.

“What?” Lily asked, tilting his chin up a bit so he looked her in the eyes. “What is it?”

“I just… I can’t believe you actually like me,” James said, a big, stupid grin on his face.

“Really? You’ve been saying that I would come around for years,” Lily said.

“Right but then you didn’t for like six years so I figured that was it,” James said.

“Yeah well,” Lily said, smiling back at him, “you’re a good person, Potter.”

“Really?” James said, amused. “Cause I seem to remember you calling me an arrogant toerag. Repeatedly.” Lily shrugs.

“You were.”

“So what is it that you like about me?”

“Potter, I like you but I’m not going to feed your ego,” Lily laughed.

“Not even a little?” James pouted. Lily rolled her eyes.

“I like that you care so much about your friends,” she said quietly. “That you’re so blindly devoted to them and trusting of them. I like how passionate you are about the things you like. Quidditch, Transfiguration… pranks. I like your stupid smile— ah there it is,” she said as James grinned at her words. “I like you, James Potter.” If Lily had thought James couldn’t look any happier, she was wrong.

“You said my name,” he said, excitedly.

“I did,” Lily said, laughing at how excited James got at something so simple.

“Are you going to call me that now?” he asked.

“We’ll see, Potter,” she said. She saw James glance sideways and looked over as well. Remus and Sirius were watching them, smirking. Lily rolled her eyes and pointed a certain finger at them but they just laughed and came over to where Lily and James were standing.

“So you got us together and we got you together,” Remus said.

“That is friendship at its finest,” James said, nodding.

“Ours was better though,” Lily said.

“What? No way!” Sirius said.

“Yes, it was,” Lily insisted. “You barely did anything. You talked to us. So? We masterminded a whole game.”

“Wow, spin-the-bottle how very original,” Sirius said. “Plus, you guys were harder. You used to hate James. At least Remus and I were actually friends.”

“Yeah, only the most oblivious friends on the planet,” James cut in.

“Oh, we’re the oblivious ones?” Remus said. “Did you not see Lily checking you out during the game?”

“No, I was a bit preoccupied winning, in case you didn’t— wait,” he said, turning to Lily. “You were checking me out?”

“I will elbow you again,” Lily said to Remus, choosing to ignore James. But that only made him smirk.

“You cannot keep using that,” Remus said.

“I will use it whenever I need to,” she said.

“Fine,” Remus said. “I think we can agree that we are all dumb and oblivious and dependant on our friends.”

“I’ll toast to that,” Sirius said, Summoning drinks with his wand.

“To friends,” Lily said, raising her glass.

“And boyfriends,” Sirius said, taking Remus’ hand.

“And girlfriends,” James added, sliding a hand around Lily’s waist.

“To us,” Remus said. Lily raised her eyebrows at him.

“Cliche much?” she said. Remus shrugged.

“I’m in a very cliche mood,” he said, kissing Sirius on the cheek and raising his glass.

“To us,” they said together, clinking the plastic cups and drinking.

---------

Warning:

Ok I added another paragraph because I like angst and I’m very mean. But I’m giving you a decision. You can stop reading here and be happy or you can keep reading and be really sad. The decision is up to you

TW for the next slide: mentions of death

---------

It was of that night that each of them thought in their last moments. When James faced Voldemort, wandless, determined to protect his wife and baby; when Lily stood in front of Harry’s crib, begging Voldemort to kill her and spare her baby; when Sirius fell through the veil, seeing the light leave the eyes of the only two people he loved who were still alive; when Remus saw the green light from Dolohov’s wand and made a decision not to fight back; all of them thought of the smile on each of their friends’ faces, the feeling of warmth security that they had when standing beside their lover, the innocence, hope and happiness that they had all lost not long after.

Each of them had suffered more than they deserved to but that night was a sign, a reminder, that they had been happy once, that they had been loved far more than most people are in their entire lifetime. That was the memory that James, Lily, Sirius and Remus all clung to when they died, willing themselves to feel the way they felt that night just one more time before everything ended.

[petersasteria]

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧? - 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

Pairing: Manservant!Haz Osterfield x CEO!Single mom!Reader

HO Masterlist || Ultimate Masterlist || Inspired by the Disney request from a while back

DISCLAIMER: *This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either products or the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.*

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After being unsuccessful in getting acting jobs, Harrison looks for a job to pay his bills. You’re a spoiled rich kid who abruptly becomes the CEO of your family’s company after your parents decided to retire early.

Special thanks to @fancyxholland​​ for the banner 🤍

2,323 words

“Haz, what’re you doing?” Tom, Harrison’s best friend asked him. Tom Holland has been best friends with Harrison since they were 15. Both of them were aspiring actors, but they’re both struggling to get the parts that they want. Eventually, Harrison decided to find a real job. Thus, looking through the ad section on the newspaper.

“I’m looking for a job.” He shrugged. It wasn’t a big deal, really. He just wants to help his mum in paying the bills and since his acting career is dormant, he figured it’d be best to pursue something realistic and something quick.

Tom looked at him dumbfounded. He was in shock. Tom never thought Harrison, his best mate, would actually look for a job. “Um.. why? You have an audition to prepare for.” Tom pointed out.

“So?” Harrison said, not looking up from the newspaper.

“So?” Tom mocked and rolled his eyes. “It means you have no time to look for a job. You have to run your lines, memorize them, and internalize. Maybe get into character like a method actor or something, I don’t know! So, you can’t look for a job.”

“Joke’s on you because I just found one!” Harrison smiled and took off the cap of the marker with his teeth. He encircled the ad for working at a restobar as a waiter. He covered the marker again and put it on the table. He stood up from his seat and quickly went to his room to prepare his resume.

Tom quickly followed him and asked, “Aren’t you going to tell me what job you’re planning to apply for?”

“A waiter.” Harrison said simply as he typed away on his laptop.

Tom raised his eyebrows and nodded, “Okay. Well, good luck.”

“You should find a job too, Tom. We’re 20 for fuck’s sake. We’ve been auditioning for roles since we were 15 and nothing seems to be happening. Let’s just get a job, mate.” Harrison sighed in defeat. 

“Fine.” Tom said, crossing his arms. “But let me just get through this audition I have tomorrow and then I’ll look for a job straight after that. I’m starting to go broke anyway and I’ll honestly panic if butterflies come out of my wallet instead of money.”

“Same.” Harrison laughed.

-

Harrison got the job. The restobar was desperate for people, so Harrison convinced Tom to apply there too and Tom got in as well. Now, they’re both working there.

The restobar was always busy and the customers tipped generously. It was great for Harrison and Tom. The restobar was more packed in the evening and during the day, families would have lunch there. The food was delicious and the staff is very accommodating. The restobar only had two floors and at the back, was the outdoor area where people could eat and have a cigarette. It was also there that jamming sessions would happen every night. It was awesome.

It’s late in the afternoon and Harrison was wiping a table clean after clearing the dishes. Tom was currently sitting on the bar stool at the bar counter while watching the news. At this hour, the restobar was low on customers and that gave the whole staff time to relax a bit.

Tom rubbed the drowsiness from his eyes and blinked when he saw the news about you; Y/N Y/L/N. Tom read the headline and his eyes widened. He turned to Charles, the bartender, and said, “Hey mate, could you turn it up a bit? Thank you.”

Charles turned up the volume a little causing all of the staff to pay attention to the news. Harrison, who just finished cleaning the table, was carrying the plastic box they put the plates in when he joined in to watch the news. He stood next to where Tom was sitting as the reporter rambled about you being the newest CEO of Y/L/N Inc.

Tom snorted, “Was it just last week that Y/N was found blackout drunk somewhere?”

“Yeah.” Charles laughed. “One of my mates told me that they saw her smoking weed once.”

Harrison looked at the two of them and shook his head, “That’s not very CEO-like, innit?”

“Sounds like a spoiled rich kid to me.” Jessica, the hostess, said. “If you Google her name, you’ll find endless articles about her lavish vacations and she’s profligate.”

“What does profligate even mean?” Tom asked as he turned to Jessica.

“It means she’s extravagant; she spends her money a lot on useless things.” Chazia explained and Tom nodded, satisfied with the answer.

“She’s filthy rich, though. She recently bought a small house in the Hamptons as a birthday gift for herself.” Elouise chimed in as she scrolled through her phone after Googling Y/N.

“These rich people will never learn, I swear. They think stuff is just handed to them because they’re rich. They’re all the same.” Hritz shook her head in annoyance.

“She’d never marry a poor bloke that’s for sure.” Luke said with a chuckle. “What a shame, though. She’s hot.”

“True.” Charles nodded in agreement.

“I mean, we shouldn’t judge her. What Elouise is seeing on Google right now are assumptions and one side of the story which means everything the tabloids say about her are just the side of the people who make those articles. We don’t know her story. For all we know, she doesn’t want to be a CEO. And while I agree that she’s spoiled, we should keep in mind that she was born into a rich family and she had no choice to be born into that family. With that being said, we should just let her be.” Harrison said before going to the kitchen to drop off the box of dirty plates.

“What’s up with him?” Charles asked Tom.

Tom shrugged and got out of the bar stool to check on Harrison. Tom entered the kitchen just as Harrison was about to go back out in the main area.

“Are you okay?” Tom asked and Harrison nodded. “Then what was all that rant about? Are you secretly Y/N?” He joked causing Harrison to break into a smile and chuckle.

“Nah. If I were Y/N, I wouldn’t be here right now.” Harrison said. “I’m okay, though. I really am. It’s just that I feel kind of bad for her, y’know? Everyone’s always watching her every move and judging her for it. She’s young too; she’s our age! She’s 20 and she’s a CEO already. I personally think that the reason why she’s being so reckless and extravagant is because she knew about her fate. She knew that she’ll be a CEO and that’s why she’s already living her life to the extreme. Because she knows that when she’s a CEO already, she won’t have time for anything else, not even herself.”

“I guess you’re right.” Tom trailed off.

“Of course I am. When was I ever wrong?” Harrison asked.

“When you dated Lea Berry. You were wrong about her.” Tom laughed and Harrison rolled his eyes at the mention of his ex.

“Yeah, fuck off.” Harrison shook his head and left the kitchen as Tom followed while laughing his ass off.

-

Being born into a rich family was definitely a blessing. You were an only child and growing up, you got everything you wanted. As you grew, you realized that it was rather lonely living in a mansion. Your only best friend was your personal maid, Angela and she was as old as your mum. Angela played with you everyday and she took care of you. While your parents loved you very much, they were never really around often. You were like Richie Rich basically. Maybe that’s why you loved that movie so much.

Your education was very… fancy. You studied at an international school for your whole life and you decided that you didn’t want to go to university because you didn’t know what you wanted to do. Your parents supported your decision and because of that, they’ve decided to retire early and leave the company to you. Now, you’re the youngest CEO.

In terms of your love life, you only had flings. Relationships weren’t your thing. In fact, your relationship with your first boyfriend only lasted for two months. After that, you had endless flings here and there. You also do one night stands because it was easy. You kept safe, though. Protection is always important.

Your friends were really nice people. They weren’t snobs and you adored that about them. You loved the fact that you were associated with people like them. They would give to charities often and they would do outreach programs in third world countries. Sometimes, you’d tag along if your parents aren’t dragging you to a boring fancy event.

You and your friends would go to different countries just to get drunk and forget about your rich kid lives. All of you loved running away from what society expected of you. Like every normal person, you loved letting loose. That’s why it pisses you off when people call you out for going out a lot because you’re a normal person like them.

“Y/N, darling, I hope you’re ready to take over.” Your mum told you. She was excited for you to replace your father in the business. She’s been waiting for it ever since you were born. Your father was kind of bittersweet because he wasn’t ready to step down yet, but at the same time he knew he had to let go at some point.

“Just promise me you’ll take care of the business.” You dad smiled sadly. You eagerly nodded and said, “I won’t let you down, dad. I’ll do my best.”

“I trust you, sweetheart.” Your dad hugged you and kissed the top of your head. He pulled away and you bid your parents goodbye. You looked around your dad’s old office as you watched your maids pick up box after box of your dad’s stuff. One maid grabbed the picture frame on your dad’s desk and you were able to catch a glimpse of the photo. It was a family picture.

“You can leave that here.” You told the maid and she put back the photo before packing up the last box and leaving you all alone.

You took a deep breath and sat down on your dad’s chair. You exhaled through your mouth and grabbed the picture frame. It was an old photo of you and your parents. You could remember that day like it was yesterday.

You and your parents were in New York for your dad’s business trip. You were only seven years old and it was your first time abroad. Of course, you didn’t want to stay in the office at all. You wanted to explore. So, you and your mum walked around the city and you arrived at Central Park.

Your mum bought you a hotdog and for some reason that made you really happy. About thirty minutes later, your dad joined both of you. All three of you played tag and somehow your dad ended up giving you a piggyback ride whilst your mum stood beside your dad, throwing her head back in laughter.

A college student who was studying photography was nearby and captured the moment. They approached the three of you and instead of getting angry for taking your picture without permission, your dad bought it from them. Now, that picture stays in his office.

It’s been years and your dad didn’t have the heart to replace the wholesome family picture. To him, he’ll always remember you as his little girl who loved adventure and meeting new people.

You rummaged through the drawers and saw an unopened envelope that had your name on it. You brows furrowed in confusion as you grabbed and opened it.

To my little girl,

The time has come for you to replace me and I can’t believe that time came early. I have to remind myself that you’re not little anymore, but I know you’re still the same girl I raised and darling, I raised you right. Your mother and I raised you right.

I won’t lie… this job is hard and tiring, but I know you’ll be able to push through. You’re strong and smart and tough. I trust that you’ll make the right decisions and I’m confident that our company is in good hands. One day there’ll come a time when you’ll step down and pass it on to your child and I’ll be gone by then. Just know that when the time comes, you did an excellent job.

My father wasn’t there for me when I needed him because he passed on and I had no one because my mother was busy taking care of my younger siblings. What I’m trying to say is that I’m here for you whenever you need me. Call me anytime.

Love, dad

Your heart warmed at your dad’s letter as you put it on top of your desk. You shook off your nerves, got up from your seat and walked out of your office. You stood outside your office and watched the staff as they did their job. You cleared your throat and said, “Excuse me? May I have your attention please?”

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at you. You gave them a nervous smile and said, “Hi everyone! As you may know, my father has decided to retire early. I’m his daughter, Y/N, and I will be replacing him. I’m not like my father and I know all of you loved him, but I’ll do my best and hopefully, we can all get along.”

Everyone just stared at you until one person spoke up, “You have some big shoes to fill in, sweetheart. Big shoes.”

You nodded and coughed awkwardly, “Alright, back to work people.”

This was going to be harder than you thought.

* * * *

After I post this, I’m removing everyone on my taglist and I’m making a new one. It’s 2021 and I gotta renew that shit. New year, new taglist.

𝐇𝐀𝐙 𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland​ @silencetheslaves​ @imeanlifesabitshit​ @joyleenl​ @hjoficrecs​ @blueleatherbag​ @poguesholland​ @harryismysunflower​ @lonikje​ @lizzyosterfield​ @turtoix​ @badreputationlove​ @starlight-starks​ @swiftmind​ @sovereignparker​ @pearce14 @justanamesstuff​ @chewymoustachio​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​ @hotforharrison​ @euphorichxlland​ @givebuckyhisplumsnow​

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓:  @justasmisunderstoodasloki​ @allyz​ @miraclesoflove​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​ @drie-the-derp @hollands-weasley @itstaskeen​ @call-me-baby-gir1​ @the-panwitch​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @geminiparkers​ @holland-styles​ @calltothewild​ @herbatkazmiloscia @whatthefuckimbisexual​ @theonly1outof-a-billion​ @piscesparker​ @unsaidholland​ @musicalkeys​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @hufflepuffprincess24​ @hollanddolanfangirl​ @parkerpeter24​ @bellelittleoff​ @agentnataliahofferson​ @aqiise @lexirv​ @blairscott​ @pearly-pisces​ @u-rrose​ @speedymaximoff​ @theliterarymess​ @beequeen8020  @justafangirlduh​ @sarcasticallywitty15​

[phantasmagoriaoriginals]

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY CHARACTER?

Suu

1. a trait they have too much of  (ex. too much pride = arrogance)

Suu is carefree to a point of foolishness. He’s never had it in him to care much about anything or anyone— at least, nowhere near to the extent that he should. Omen’ is the only being Suu has ever had genuine feelings for. Everything else has been of little consequence to his empty head. The world is filled with things that have no direct consequence on him, and so long as he won’t be affected by them, Suu simply doesn’t bother to pay attention. In some ways, this makes him a very free, happy person. He doesn’t have worries or anxiety about anything, and that means he’s able to live a life without the fears and obligations that weigh on most people’s minds. The problem is that Suu takes this carefree nature to a point where he actively overlooks things that can and will hurt him or the people around him. 

2. a trait they don’t have enough of (ex. too little pride = insecurity)

Simply put, Suu is not smart. And he doesn’t bother to try to be otherwise. The only thoughts in his head have to do with entertainment and his next meal. Unless something is going to become a direct problem for him, he’ll rarely bother with it. He lacks self-preservation to a dangerous degree, assuming that he’ll be fine no matter what happens or what snap decisions he makes. He’s scatterbrained, spacey, and actively doesn’t pay attention to the things around him, instead choosing to focus on only whatever satisfied him in the moment. Suu’s knowledge of the world is also worryingly slim— he’s never paid attention to things outside of his island and direct life, so he knows virtually nothing about society, other beings, and any outside factors. On top of all of that, his social intelligence is virtually zero, and he doesn’t care a bit to try to learn how to interact with others. 

3. a trait they express in the wrong way

Debatably one of the most positive traits Suu has is his care for his closest friend, Omen’. Suu and Omen’ have a long history of time spent together, and in whatever way his dumb fish brain can, Suu has gotten attached. He genuinely considers Omen’ someone he wants to be around, and he cares in a way that most would consider impossible for him. However, Suu doesn’t exactly show this care in the best way. He has a bad habit of trying to keep Omen’ all to himself, such as through eating visitors to their island that Omen’ would have wanted to talk to. He also tends to rely on Omen’ too much and in inconsiderate ways. The way Suu sees it, his friend will always want to look after him, so he puts the burden of his own stupidity on Omen’s shoulders quite often. Omen’ is aware that Suu cares quite a bit (more than he does for anyone else), and he does return those feelings... but he also gets quite frustrated with Suu sometimes. 

4. a trait they’re ashamed of

The problem with asking for something Suu is ashamed of is that he doesn’t feel much along the lines of shame at all. In terms of his own behavior, there’s nothing that Suu is embarrassed about. He does everything right, doesn’t he? From his perspective, he’s just doing what he wants and it’s everyone else who’s being too picky. Even when scolded or when people get angry with him, Suu is basically impervious to feeling any kind of remorse. In a lot of ways, this makes for another negative trait in that it’s extremely difficult to make him realize he’s ever done anything wrong. He’s just a fish, yeah? And fish don’t need to worry about complicated things. All he has to do is eat swimmers and have fun— being ashamed of anything, even parts of himself, goes well beyond the job description of what he is. 

5. a trait they’re not ashamed of (but maybe should be)

Answered here!

6. a bad habit

One of Suu’s worst habits is making decisions without thinking them through. Of course, Suu rarely thinks anything through, so this is far from a rare problem. Even with major choices or ones with high stakes, he’s a bit too likely to “go with his gut” or pick whatever sounds best without really considering the consequences. It’s never worth stopping and thoroughly thinking about what he’s doing. Even if there’s a problem later, he can handle it, right? Omen’ has tried to work Suu out of this habit countless times, to little success. Suu also has the habit of making his choices other people’s problem. If he doesn’t like the result he gets from a decision, he’ll try to dodge out of the consequences and make someone else (usually Omen’) deal with them. He’s not a fan of follow-through. 

7. something they do that hurts themself

While Suu himself seems impervious to the harm it causes, he does have an unfortunate tendency to isolate himself through a lack of interest in the people and things around him. He has so little care for others that it’s virtually impossible for him to form connections— the only reason he’s so close to Omen’ is that the two of them spent so much time together with only each other as options. Generally, Suu doesn’t try to bond with anyone. He’s content keeping distant relationships and intimidating the people around him to whatever degree is funny, never forming actual friendships. Not many people like Suu, and there are good reasons for that. He appears to be entirely uninterested in anything to do with the feelings of others, their interests, and their wellbeing. And this does hurt him. Whether he realizes it or not, Suu is almost entirely alone. If something were to happen to Omen’, he’d have no one and nothing. It’s never occurred to him how bad-off he’d be if that happened, but the danger is there. 

8. something they do that hurts others

When it comes to his interactions with others, Suu’s utter lack of sympathy and empathy poses a massive problem. No one likes a person who seems completely uninterested in them and any problems they may have... and that’s exactly what Suu does. He’s amused, at best, by the things that other people do and go through, and most often, he simply doesn’t care. He doesn’t feel anything when people are suffering or upset, and feels no need to change his behavior to suit their feelings. He can be cruel, flippant, insensitive, and inappropriate, and of course, he hardly cares. Suu doesn’t see why he should change his behavior to make other people happy, and he doesn’t see why other people need to like him. He has Omen’, and no one else matters much to him at all. He doesn’t need to bother with other things.

9. a reason (or excuse) they haven’t improved on any of the above

Suu’s main reason for not trying to change or improve himself is that he doesn’t need to. He’s a fish, y’know? Fish don’t need to think too hard or do normal people things. Even though he was drug up to the world of people, he doesn’t have to act like it. After all, it’s not like it was his choice. The way he’s always been was fine when he was on his island with Omen’, so there’s no need to be any different now. He’s gotten by the way he is for decades. On top of that, he honestly doesn’t care enough to try. Since Omen’, the only person he has any fondness for, doesn’t complain, Suu feels no need to bend to the whims of others. He’s more likely to laugh in the face of someone who tries to get him to behave better than take their words to heart in any way. It’s easier and simpler to just keep being the way he is, and really, when has Suu ever been the type to do anything complicated? As such, he never bothers to try to improve. 

10. a way that they are improving on any of the above!

Honestly, he’s not improving on any of these traits in any notable way. As mentioned above, Suu doesn’t see any reason why he should change any part of himself, so even when people tell him he needs to work on something, he ignores them. As a simple fish, he doesn’t see any reason why he should try to be different. The only person who could get him to change anything would be Omen’, and even then, it would be pulling teeth to convince Suu that something he does is genuinely wrong. Suu takes Omen’s opinions more seriously than anyone else’s, but he still tends to blow off the things his friend says to him if he doesn’t like them, much to Omen’s eternal annoyance. Omen’ could talk him into changing eventually— it would just be extremely difficult. 

Questions from here!

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Fifteen (Part Three)

Previous chapter here

Warnings: language, some suggestive sexuality, and some good old angst

Tags: @jennmurawski13 @kelbabyblue Thanks for the support!

Notes: Hope you enjoy this, and apologies for my poor spelling and grammar.

Chapter Fifteen: Part Three

She woke up earlier than him.

It was half six when she stepped into the shower having given up on her sleep. It had been a hot, rather uncomfortable night and the aircon barely broke a chill through the suite.

It was taking some getting used to, this sharing a bed, especially with someone who insisted on snuggling into the back of her. Sarah wasn’t much of a cuddler and Chris knew this. She would much rather wrap herself up in blankets and drift off to sleep but it didn’t stop him from slowly inching his body towards her throughout the night. It was a case of putting up with it for fear of falling off the end and breaking something.

She barely moved under the shower head except to allow the water to rain down on her skin and hopefully liven her up for the day. She was anxious, more anxious than she anticipated she would be. She was always able to keep her cool under test conditions, probably why she became a nurse in the first place, but something about this particular exam was hitting differently and she wasn’t sure why.

She eventually got dressed and went back into the bedroom to sort her hair. He would be annoyed she’d woken up before him now that he had decided he was single-handedly responsible for all her breakfast needs that week. Admittedly, though, it felt nice being looked after in this way. Really, really nice. It was like having her own PA.

He was sleeping flat on his stomach, one leg poking out from underneath the covers. He had wrapped his arms around a pillow and his low snore was rumbling through the warm air in the room. It was confusing how anyone could find that position comfortable and not wake up having lost all feeling down one side of his body. His back muscles were relaxed but still resembled something Michelangelo could only dream of painting. He was, in all honesty, a ridiculous specimen of a man. A man that told her he wanted her to get some good rest and sleep as much as possible. Who had closed her textbooks, ran her a hot bath, and climbed in behind her to massage her shoulders. Potential lingered in the air last night but he was going to stick to his word and not get in the way of her work. He told her he was glad he was with her and happily settled for stroking her hair as she fell asleep. Her head was lying on his chest but when she felt his heartbeat settle and his arms loosen around her, she softly rolled away from him like he knew she inevitably would.

At various times, they found themselves getting into a very comfortable and, dare she say it, enjoyable routine. It was surprisingly easy to do so when the door was locked. He had used the hotel gym to give her some peace for a few hours each morning. He had kept her fed and hydrated when she would have most likely forgotten both having had her nose stuck in her books for hours on end. He had watched daytime television in the bedroom and failed to hide his tears when a charity had rebuilt an elderly man’s home following a flood. When she asked, he had helped to test her using the notes she’d prepped for the exam. He read scripts as soon as they had landed in his inbox. His team was politely shocked at his new-found efficiency.

When they weren’t fooling around on the sofa in the evenings, she had taken a break to read over some lines with him. While at first he was very kind and promising with his notes, especially with some kissing scenes he’d invented, they both knew she was definitely not suited for a life in front of the camera.

“Don’t overthink it too much. Just go with your instincts.” he encouraged her to continue reading with him for fun but she had given up when he had fallen into a fit of laughter as she attempted to arrest him.

“Yeh, no, my brain doesn’t really work like that.” she responded, holding up her hands in defeat.

“Please? I’m sorry, I promise I won’t laugh.” he pleaded. “Again.”

It was easy to get used to having him around but she finally realised how and why women fell for him hard. There was something very childlike about him, something innocent even if he was anything but when they dimmed the lights. He was gentler and quieter than she knew him to be, less sure of himself at times than perhaps the impression he wilfully gave away to the public. She heard the criticisms he levelled at himself when reading his lines out loud and saw first-hand the pressure he placed upon himself where his career was concerned. But for every committed step them took forwards as they learned more about each other, even after all these years, something started to pull her back.

“Hey...”

She was broken from her contemplation by his groggy drawl. He turned on to his side and laid his hand in the space she had previously occupied. One eye had yet to open and his hair was pointing in all different directions.

“It’s far too early to get up, y’know.” He stretched his arm out to connect with her leg curled up underneath her as she looked back at him. “Oh shit. I forgot. Is it really this morning already?”

She stayed looking at him from where she was sat before nodding. “I should only be a couple of hours but I’ll swing by that bakery down the street and pick us up something nice for lunch. They do those almond croissants you like.”

He sighed, taking her in and smiling. She’d tied her hair in a side plait and was wearing a slightly fluffy striped sweater that he wanted to run his hands over. “Yeh, that sounds really nice, Bernette.” He didn’t miss a beat. “I could meet you afterwards? We could go for a walk through the Park?”

“I might just want to come home and cry.”

“Hey now, you’re gonna ace this test. I can feel it.” He was fully awake now, purposeful in his movements towards her to help put her mind at ease. “if I was your patient, I would be ecstatic to have you working on me.”

She chuckled to herself. He was always so confident expressing himself. She was jealous of that. She wished she could be as confident and as sure of herself, like the rest of the family were. It was one thing in her that stood out in stark contrast.

“What have you eaten? I didn’t hear any room service.” He probed, a serious look now glazing over his features.

“Oh it’s fine, I’ll grab something on the way. I’m not all that hungry to tell you the truth.” She tried to brush off his protests but it only served to make him more concerned.

“You’ve got time yet, let me order something up.” He made for the phone but was stopped as she got up from the bed. “You need to eat something, Sarah. You’re gonna be sat there for hours. I don’t want you passing out.”

“Alright, thank you, Dad!” she laughed. “It’s fine! This is not my first exam. I know what it’s like and I promise you I will get something from Starbucks on somewhere else on the way.”

“You’re going now?!”

“Yeh, I could do with a walk to clear my hear. I always found that helpful when back in school.” She was talking from the lounge as she tried to locate her boots. Something else Shanna had chucked into her suitcase without her realising, but she wasn’t as annoyed with this one.

“Give me ten minutes and I’ll come with you.”

She re-entered the bedroom to find him rifling through his bag for new clothes. “Why?”

“Because I wanna support my girlfriend! Jesus!” He was sharper than he had intended but carried on with his search for fresh boxers, throwing out some old stuff in haste like he was searching for long lost buried treasure.

She just looked at him. He’d never used that word before. They’d never talked about it. He acknowledged her silence and stopped to look at her, jeans in hand. He saw her awkward stance and instantly felt like shit. This was not the morning to lay this on her. He knew the very next words out of his mouth would determine how they moved forward.

He paused before chucking his jeans on the chair in front of him. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she responded but she wasn’t sure it was.

“If you wanna head off, that’s totally cool. I’ll be here if you need me. Just text me when you’re done, yeh?”

She nodded at him, offered him as reassuring a smile as she could manage before leaving the bedroom to gather her things. He didn’t follow her; she heard the bed creak slightly so he must have chosen to stay put instead. It was probably for the best. She didn’t want the image of his pitiful face to be her last memory before sitting in silence for 90 minutes, trying in vain to concentrate as hard as she could.

*

The test went about as well as expected, if what she had expected was to doubt her basic entry-level abilities. She was one of seven that morning, six if you discount the gentleman that walked out fifteen minutes after he sat down.

It was multiple choice. It really shouldn’t have been that difficult. The answer was hiding in plain sight after all. She was reminded of something her tutor once told her and her graduating class before they left the relative comfort of their college:

“There will always be someone who knows more than we do.”

He didn’t mean it in a disparaging way - at least she didn’t think he did - but more that you go from being one of the best in your class to being surrounded by people who are equally as bright and as intuitive as you may be, and who will all have had different experiences. He wanted to say that sometimes, there is no one right answer. It was more than passing a test and qualifying; you have to adapt. You had to soak everything up like a sponge or else you risk becoming redundant in the very profession you devoted your life to. No wonder Medicine had the highest quit ratio. Boy, had she been naive.

Shanna 11.41am: OK OK I kno ur probably still super busy bt i’m dying to kno how it went?? Txt me when you get a sec babe xxxxx

She smiled down at her phone before typing a series of vomiting emojis. That should just about sum up her feelings. Scanning her phone again, she found a couple of messages from Audrey but none from Chris. She was surprised but would be lying if she didn’t admit to being relieved.

She meandered down the street towards the subway, thoughts swaying between reliving stupid mistakes she had convinced herself she had made, to what kind of mood Chris might be in. She texted him that she was finished and heading back like she promised she would, then the train was bang on time so she didn’t even have the luxury of blaming delays. Her legs weighed like lead as she approached the suite doorway, her lack of sleep the night before finally catching up with her.

Everything was deathly quiet when she entered. She paused after shutting the door behind her but still couldn’t hear anything. Certainly no trace of another person being present. Confused, she walked into the bedroom and found a note left on the comforter. He’d gone to the gym and told her to message him when she got back. This might give her the excuse she’d been seeking to grab five minutes alone.

She flopped on to the bed and turned to the side to catch the pile of notes and textbooks he’d shoved there the night before. So much promise contained in those few pages. So much knowledge that it felt like she had no business attempting to absorb it for her own personal gain. Many highly accomplished physicians and scientists had bound their entire lives to the duty of finding answers to the human body’s potential for extreme trauma. What exactly would a young, angst-ridden girl from Michigan bring to the table?

The door went a few moments later and she realised she had closed her eyes. She was lying on her back with her legs hanging off the end of the bed as he walked in, slightly sweaty but nevertheless a sight for sore eyes. Seeing him in this state was the nicest thing that had happened to her all day and she regretted their tense conversation earlier.

“Dude...” he muttered as he dropped his towel on the chair by the door and joined her on the bed. He flopped down alongside her with a heavy sigh.

“Good workout?” she finally offered.

“Yeh, all good. Nothing too strenuous.” He replied like it was the most normal conversation in the world. “Good exam?”

“Oh yeh, same.” she replied just as casual as him before they both fell into a fit of giggles.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked after they had both calmed down.

She took a deep breath. “Not really.”

“You want me to guess?”

“Chris...”

“What?” his voice was a little whinier than he would have liked at this particular time. “I know you. You’re writing yourself off before you know what’s happened.”

“Who said I was writing myself off?” She pushed back. “It’s normal to feel like this. It’s just...nerves or whatever.”

“Yeh, well, there’s no point worrying about something twice.”

She didn’t want to talk about this right now. She was silently hoping he would make a move on her after refraining from touching her the night before when she was definitely in the mood for him. “It’s just...it’s hard to explain.” She got up from the bed and shuffled into the bathroom to remove what little make-up she had put on that morning.

“Try and tell me about it. What was it like? How many questions were there? How many people turned up?”

She threw the face wipe in the bin and ran the tap water to wash her hands. She knew he wasn’t going to budge from his trajectory. She knew he wasn’t going to stop picking at her to talk about it. She leaned her hands on the marble top and took a deep breath.

“It was harder than I imagined it would be. I think I just froze. Like, basic stuff I do day in and day out just wasn’t coming to me.”

“If doing auditions has taught me anything it’s that you always think you’ve done worse than you have. It’s just natural. The brain works in strange ways sometimes. It can trick you.” he reasoned, finally moving into the bathroom but not daring to reach out to her. He settled for backing up against the wall inside the doorway.

“I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be a good result, thought.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” He spoke softly, comfortingly. “You’re so smart and so capable of doing this. You just gotta believe in yourself.”

She nodded in acceptable of what he was trying to say and looked at him face-on. His brow was defined with those worry lines again which made feel a little crap, but he still had a boyish shine about him, no doubt because of the glow from his workout. She would have been a heaving red mess.

“What are you thnking about?” he asked.

She continued studying him, trying to arrange her thoughts. “Is this all there is to life?” she asked after another moment had passed. “You find something you like to do and that’s it, you just coast for 40 years?”

He contemplated her question for a second. “Yeh. Pretty much.”

Sarah huffed out a laugh, not fully appreciating his brutal honest at this moment in time.

“But not everyone is lucky to even get that far.” He moved into the bathroom to stand closer to her. “People can go years with no real clue of what it is they wanna do. You’re one of the lucky ones, Sarah. You figured it out when you were young, you did what you had to do and now you’re doing it for real. That’s less common that you think.”

It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate what he was trying to do, it’s just that often she had multiple anxieties convincing her of the opposite. It’s easy for him to say this, he’s already at the top of his game. He doesn’t have to other with the real world if he doesn’t want to. Most people don’t have the financial luxury of stopping to retrain as something different and Chris had always alluded to quitting acting while he was still young in order to take up something else, like carpentry or simply staying behind the scenes. He always figured he would stop when he had his first child but the reality for everyone else couldn’t afford them that same privilege.

“You are where you’re supposed to be.” He continued. “I don’t believe there is anyone better qualified at what it is they do than you. I believe that and I believe that you know that, too, deep down. You just gotta find the other stuff that keeps you happy in the meantime. Whatever it is that keeps you going.”

“What makes you happy?”

He smiled at her. “Well...what you see if what you get. Family, football, beer. Not necessarily in that order.” He was glad she was smiling again. “Spending time with the people I love. Recognising that I love them and that they love me back and that that love is wonderful.”

“You’re so lucky you don’t second guess yourself all the time.”

“Oh, believe me, I do.” he impressed. “It’s just that I learned some things a few years ago that helped me now. Like taking a deep breath and letting it wash over you. It’s natural to feel doubt but it’s what happens afterwards that really matters. It’s how we choose to perceive the things that happen to us, and how we move forward.”

“Anything has gotta be easier than feeling like this.”

“It’s not always a good thing. Sometimes you have to wait for other people to catch up.” He leaned onto the counter next to her, the mirror in front of them spotlighting them both and making them both appear a little pathetic in their current gait.

“I should start packing.” She whispered after a few more silent moments had passed by.

Neither of them made the effort to move but check-out was 2pm at the latest if Chris had bought it and she was almost certain he had. She would eventually need to make her way to the station and presumably Chris would simply head home in his car. Back to Boston. Back to reality.

“We still have some time. We could order up some lunch if you want to? I’m not entirely convinced you ate anything this morning.”

She watched him in the mirror as he turned to face her, a sterner look in his eyes. He was pretty certain he could read her face this time and her lip-bite told him he was right.

“Or we could do something else with the little time we have left.” He reached out his hand to touch hers, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. She didn’t more away so he chanced his arm and pulled her closer to him before kissing the inside of her palm and wrist. “It was so hard last night.”

She smirked at him before it dawned on him. “I mean...you know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes. “It was hard for me to lie so close to you and not touch you. I really meant what I said, about you getting a good night’s rest but fuck me, it was difficult.”

“I know. It was hard for me, too.”

“We don’t get this kind of time together,” he looked down at her hands, held tightly in his. “And I’ve really, really enjoyed myself. I feel more normal around you. I can’t explain it.”

“It’s OK. You don’t need to say anything.”

This was the type of conversation Sarah would ordinarily run a mile from had it been with anyone else. Chris seemed to understand as well as he stopped himself from talking some more. She was being held in place by the literal limited space around her as he planted himself in her way. He looked down at her causing her to freeze up and, mentally, she began checking if she could feel her feet.

She slowly ran her hands up and down his arms in an attempt to sooth him. She saw him glance down at her lips and she hoped he would end the silence by kissing her but there was no such luck. He was trying to figure something out but what, she didn’t know. He was waiting for her next move.

“I don’t think we’ve thought this much about what happens, when...” he paused, gauging her for a response or an indication that she was OK with what he was about to say. Perhaps even anticipating it in some way. “Sarah, I have these feelings for you and they’re getting stronger and these past few days have told me that I’m right. Do you know what I mean?”

She did know. She didn’t much want to know, but she did. “Let’s pause this and figure it out another time, yeh?” He hands rubbed up to the rest of his shoulders. “Let’s just enjoy this while it lasts. There’ll be another time for talking.”

He wasn’t convinced but assuaged enough to kiss her again, a little harder this time. His hand slipped into her hair to hold her to him and she responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. They had time.

*

She should have known he would have had the idea to drive them both back home. Yes, there was no need for her to sit on a busy commuter train for three hours but still. She did almost say yes but she would feel awkward asking him to drop her off blocks away from her home and he would inevitably disagree and they’d argue. Not argue per se. They never really argued, but it would become a thing and she didn’t have the heart to disappoint him a third time that day.

They were in happy moods by the time they checked out. All ideas of having a more serious conversation had evaporated quickly after she pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him. He had them both naked in record time even for him, and she made a point to memorise his face and the rush of red through his skin when she watched him cum hard underneath her.

She’d bought him a coffee from the cafe bar inside the reception and he’d thanked her with a gentle peck on the lips before slipping away via the underground garage, ball cap pulled down low over his eyes. She felt the light bruises form on her thighs and smiled to herself at the memory of where his hands had been when she walked into the apartment to find Shanna in tears. She froze on the spot.

“Oh my god, what the hell happened?” Finally finding her voice when registering the scene in front of her. Sarah dropped her bags and ran to the couch to wrap an arm around her friend. “Why are you crying?”

“I didn’t think you’d be back so soon. Sorry, I’m...” Shanna tried to gather her thoughts. “It’s stupid really. I don’t even know what I’m crying.”

“Well, it’s not stupid. It’s obviously something because it’s made you upset.” She pulled her hand inside the sleeve of her hoodie and used it to wipe away her tears. “Do you wanna talk about it? Is it something I can help with?”

“Not really.” This wasn’t the feisty Shan Sarah knew. “Turns out Robbie wasn’t interested in me after all because he’s asked somebody else out. I should have known really. He definitely wouldn’t be interested in me.”

“Oh love,” Sarah empathised.

“It’s not even like I was really all that bothered about him, honestly.” She continued. “It’s just, it’s been a while since someone decent asked me out on a date, y’know? Someone smart who had potential. Normally, they have to be drunk to even approach me and they just end up being dickheads. All of them.”

Knowing Shanna as well as she did, she knew Shanna wouldn’t appreciate an empty platitude. “I think it happens to the best of us. You should hear some of the tales Audrey has. She’s experienced some crazy shit.”

“Yeh? How did she meet Michael?”

“She didn’t make it easy for him that’s for sure!” she chuckled and felt relief at the grin now showing on Shan’s face. “The way she tells it, she stopped looking. Just stopped going to bars and clubs, spent more time doing the things she enjoyed and more time with her friends and family. Randomly met him at a march in the city, can you believe that? He wasn’t even supposed to be there but his brother dragged him along apparently.”

“I think she was right to concentrate on her friends and family. I should take a leaf out of her book. At least you can count on them to keep you sane.”

A sense of unease found its way into Sarah’s head. “Yeh, definitely. You never know when a good thing will strike and maybe this shows you that you know what you don’t want anymore. That’s gotta be a positive thing, right?”

“Yeh, it just feels a bit crap but I’ll probably feel better in the morning.” Shanna got up from the couch and Sarah sense it was more so to hide a few more tears. “I got some wine earlier, do you fancy a glass?”

“Uh yeh sounds good. I’ll just go and sort my stuff out.”

“Oh fucking hell!” Shanna smacked her hand to her face. “I’m so sorry! How did it go?”

Sarah held her bag loosely in her hand, her attempt at making a quick getaway to her room without discussing the exam a failure. “Oh, it was what it was. I won’t find out for a little while so no point worrying about it twice, right?”

“Huh, you sound just like Chris.” Shanna said before walking back into the kitchen. “I’m sure you did great, though. You always do.”

“Thanks.” She carried on to her room to dump her stuff. She would sort it out tomorrow. Right now, she figured Shan would want to get a little bit drunk and Sarah was on a late tomorrow anyway, so...it wouldn’t do them any harm.

“Hey, Sarah?” Shan called from the kitchen.

“Yeh?”

“Who did you have coffee with?”

Confusion set in as Sarah tried to figure out what Shanna was talking about. She peered her head round the door. “What?”

“Coffee today?” Shanna responded, holding a crumpled piece of paper in her hand. “This dropped out of your coat, I think. Coffee for two?”

Confusion quickly turned into full-blown panic as she realised what she had done. Fuck. “Oh, um, I just...” She stumbled over herself and felt her skin redden and get hotter. She must have looked a sight. “Um...it wasn’t...”

“Hey, listen, you don’t need to explain anything.”

“Oh no that’s not what it is-”

“-At least one of us is having better luck in the romance department.”

“Shan, it’s not-”

“-I’m so glad you and Greg are getting on well.” Shanna handed over the receipt to Sarah before regarding what must have looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. “I mean that. He seems nice and you absolutely deserve to have some fun for a change. I know I haven’t been very supportive of this whole thing with Charlotte but I worry about you a little bit sometimes. After everything that’s happened, I guess I just didn’t wanna see you hurt again.”

Sarah was frozen to the spot. Numb. Shanna had put two and two together and thought the best of her friend. Sarah didn’t deserve that.

“He seems like he’s being really supportive right now and being the person that I should perhaps be. I will try to be better, I promise.” Shanna apologised.

Sarah looked down at the slip of paper in her hand and then to the floor, a little bit of feeling starting to return to her legs. “Shan,” she started quietly, so quietly that she missed it entirely and when she looked back up, Shanna was walking back into the kitchen.

“I mean it. You’ve always been amazing to me. Picking me up when I need it and looking after me. Everyone says I take you for granted sometimes and they’re absolutely right so I just wanted to say that I will back you up 100% from now on. No excuses. You and me against the world, right?”

Shanna flashed her a broad and hopeful grin and all Sarah could do was return a limp version in response. 

“Let’s get that wine opened and you can tell me all about it.”

Shanna disappeared into the kitchen again. If she had stayed a second longer she would have seen tears form in Sarah’s eyes at the knowledge that she screwed everything up. She and Chris had diverted a conversation on the promise of having it another time but that was never going to happen. Not now.

How could it?

*

[thelastspeecher]

Hi, how about 7. Wrong Restaurant for the Genie Angie AU? With a magical yet still learning Angie wrong could mean anything or Stan might have got it wrong.

7. Wrong restaurant

Thank you for an Angenie AU ask, Anon, I fricking love that AU.  I actually had two different ideas for where to go with this.  One would take place before Stangie arrives in Gravity Falls, and one after.  After consulting a few people, though, I went with the former.  Maybe I’ll write the latter some other time...

Prompt List

——————————————————————————————

              “But her aim is gettin’ better!” Stan said jovially to the oil lamp carefully buckled in the passenger seat.  Soft chuckling came from said oil lamp.  Stan grinned, glad the joke had landed.  “Y’know, not enough people appreciate my sense of humor.”

              “Then those people are fools,” said the genie in the lamp, aka his girlfriend, Angie.

              “I agree.”  Stan glanced at the lamp.  “Hey, uh, Angie, wanna get outta there?”

              “Um…”  Angie’s voice was small, and not just because she was speaking from inside the lamp. They had discovered early on that she got incredibly anxious if she spent much time in open spaces.  Even being outside of her lamp for too long could cause nervousness.  Stan had a feeling that this anxiety was a newer development, given that he had been the first to notice it.

              Can’t really blame her.  Who knows how long she was cooped up in that lamp before I found her?  When he’d broken out of a Middle Eastern prison, he hadn’t expected to find an oil lamp that housed a real-life genie.  But he wasn’t going to complain.  After all, now I’m rich and dating someone who’s definitely outta my league.  And I’ve still got one wish left!

              “C’mon,” Stan cajoled.  “You’re free of that lamp, you don’t have to spend so much time in it.”  After spending so much time locked up in various prisons, he hadn’t even considered not using his second wish to free Angie. Luckily, she’d stuck around after being freed.  Even more luckily, their relationship had quickly veered from platonic to romantic.

              “I…”  Angie sounded hesitant.  “Well, where are we?”

              “My old stomping grounds.  Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey.”

              “Oh, yer hometown?” Angie said, sounding amused.  “I better take a gander, then.  Ya don’t really know someone until ya see where they come from.” Stan grinned.

              I kinda like my girlfriend being the only genie with a southern accent.  Yellow smoke billowed out of the oil lamp, eventually coalescing into the form of a young woman holding the lamp on her lap.  Angie smiled at Stan.

              “I love how you dress, babe, but you might wanna put on something warmer,” Stan warned her.  Angie looked outside, saw the snow on the ground, and grimaced.

              “I hate the cold,” she muttered.  She closed her eyes.  Gold sparks twinkled over her clothes, changing her outfit.  In short order, her crop top and daisy dukes had been replaced with a sweater and jeans.  “Oh, I forgot the coat.”

              “You can borrow mine,” Stan said quickly.

              “I think I can magic up somethin’.”

              “Yeah, but usually, you pull off one magic trick and then completely fuck up the one after,” Stan reminded her.  Angie crossed her arms, pouting.  “Remember what happened when we were in New York?  It’s a miracle the Statue of Liberty is still standing.”

              “Rude,” Angie muttered.

              “I’m just telling the truth.”  Stan leaned over to kiss Angie on the cheek.  “I love you, babe, but your magic could really use some work.”

              And that’s an understatement.  Angie sighed.

              “I mean, yer right.  I ain’t the greatest genie in the world.”

              “Maybe not, but you’re the prettiest one,” Stan cooed.  Angie giggled.  “So, since we’re in my hometown, I figured we could go to my favorite diner.”

              “Aw, a romantic Valentine’s meal together!” Angie gushed.  Stan frowned at her.  “Sweetheart, it’s February 14th.  Valentine’s Day.”

              “Oh.  It is?”

              “Yep.”

              “Do you have a calendar in your lamp or something?” Stan asked.  Angie giggled again.

              “Maybe.  Where are ya takin’ me?”

              “It’s a place called The Juke Joint.”

              “Ooh, sounds lovely.  I bet they’ve got greasy burgers ‘n salty fries.”

              “The greasiest and saltiest,” Stan promised.  Angie groaned.

              “That sounds amazing,” she sighed happily.  Stan grinned.

              “You’re in luck, ‘cause…”  Stan came to a stop and looked out his window.  He trailed off.

              “Somethin’ wrong?” Angie asked.  Stan thumped the steering wheel.  “I’ll take that as a yes.”

              “They shut it down!” he groused.

              “What?”  Angie looked over.  She put a hand on Stan’s shoulder.  “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie.”

              “I was pretty excited about eating there,” Stan muttered.  When Angie didn’t respond, he looked at her.  Her eyes were closed in concentration. “Wait, Angie-”  Gold sparkles manifested around her.  She opened her eyes.  “What did you just do?”

              “I tried to reopen yer fav’rite diner,” she said.  Her eyes widened.  “Hang on. I think it worked!”

              “Really?”  Stan looked back at The Juke Joint.  Sure enough, lights were on and he could see people inside.  “Holy shit, Ang, I think you’re right!”  Angie clapped her hands in excitement.  “Come on, let’s get something to eat.”

              The moment they set foot inside, Stan knew something was wrong.

              None of the waitresses are on roller skates.  Not to mention, the décor had completely changed.  Angie looked around curiously.

              “With yer description, I was expectin’ this place to be less, ah, high-end,” she remarked.

              “No, it’s definitely a bit of a dive,” Stan said quietly.  “I think…I think your magic messed up again, babe. This feels like some hoity-toity place where they have like, cloth napkins and shit.”

              “Oh, consarnit!” Angie swore under her breath.  “Well, uh, d’ya still want to eat here?”

              “Look.”  Stan took Angie’s hands in his.  “I love that you tried to use your magic to make me happy.  But…”

              “I turned yer fav’rite lil diner into an establishment ya have to dress up for,” Angie said.

              “…Yeah.”

              “I’m so sorry, Stanley, I didn’t mean to.”

              “It’s okay.  Honestly, even though it’s definitely not the kinda place I want to eat at regularly, I don’t mind that’s it’s still sorta open.  It’s not the Juke Joint I remember, but it’s still around.  I guess,” Stan said.  Angie managed a weak smile.  “But since we’re not gonna eat here, and we still gotta eat…”

              “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”  Angie stood on her tiptoes to kiss Stan.  “You owe me a greasy burger and salty fries, mister.”

              “Don’t worry, there are plenty of places around here to get that.”  Stan wrapped an arm around Angie’s shoulders. The two walked out of the restaurant. “Fast food, for one thing.”

              “Oh, no, yer a local,” Angie said firmly.  “We ain’t gettin’ McDonald’s.”  Stan laughed.

              “Okay, I won’t get you a Big Mac,” he said.  “Since it’s Valentine’s and all.”

-----

              A couple hours later, Stan pulled up in front of a building that churned dread in his stomach.

              “Want me to come in with ya?” Angie asked.  After they’d had dinner and made out for a bit, she had retreated to her lamp again.  Stan shook his head before realizing she couldn’t see him.

              “Nah.  I’m a big boy.  I can handle it.”

              “All right.  If ya need some genie backup, just shout and I’ll hear ya,” Angie said.  “Since I messed up my last spell, I should be able to pull off my next one.”

              “Got it.”  Stan opened the car door.  “I should be back pretty fast.”  He got out, took a deep breath, and walked up to the very same door he’d been shoved out of years ago, when his father put him on the streets.  He knocked.

              The door opened.

-----

              Stan got back into the Stanleymobile.

              “How’d it go?” Angie asked from her lamp.

              “Pretty well.  Mom was home, but Pops wasn’t.”

              “That seems like the ideal sit’ation.”

              “Yeah.”  Stan took a breath.  “It was.”

              “I’m sensin’ a ‘but’ comin’…”

              “But…”  Stan ran a hand through his hair.  “Mom told me that she hasn’t heard from Ford lately.”

              “Yer estranged twin?”

              “Yeah.”  Stan closed his eyes.  “Apparently, he called her pretty regularly, but for a few weeks now, she hasn’t gotten a single call from him.  And when she calls him, he won’t pick up.”

              “That don’t bode well.”

              “No.”

              “I thought ya were angry at him.”

              “I am.”  Stan swallowed.  “But even though I’m pissed with him, I still- I still care about him, y’know? He’s my twin.”

              “Yeah.”  Angie’s voice was even smaller than it usually was while she was in her lamp. “I understand.  So, are we goin’ after him?”

              “Depends.”  Stan started the car.  “How do you feel about Oregon?”

              “Honestly, I’d prefer somewhere without snow.  But I ain’t the one drivin’,” Angie said dryly.  Stan managed a small grin.

              “All right.  Gravity Falls, here we come.”