#can magic be stinky

[yeosin-n]

the ppl have spoken (poll below)

Like over 100 ppl said he was stinky 😭

[piopon]

For your MLP WK Crossover: Maybe Zach could be a unicorn with a broken horn, similar to that one villain from the movie?

oh that'd be such a huge blow to his ego <333 love to see it, love to see it

Bro is so overcompensating for his lack of horn. Mayhaps it broke when he got animal jumpscared (or maybe somethin more angsty, im still chewing on ideas LOL), either way im all for revoking his magic privileges. It'll make for fun stories :3 tysm for the ask!!!

Btw fun fact; ive never seen the mlp movies 👍 fake fan I am

[twst-the-night-away]

My heart says Ruggie and Leona. Bitter. Chores. Family. (Clearly, I'm in a whumpy mood, and also in Ch 2 they never really talked about the betrayal between them.)

2 characters + 3 words = 5 sentences!

Oh my, it'll be a challenge to squeeze all this juicy emotion into 5 little sentences ... :3c

Leona stirred at the familiar voice, and opened bleary eyes to find Ruggie standing over him, hands full of a plastic cup and a little bag.

"... Back to your usual chores already?"

"It's good for my pocketbook, and what's good for my pocketbook is good for my family. Here."

Leona sat up and took what Ruggie offered, and watched silently as the hyena briskly turned and walked off. He took a sip of the iced tea, and it was so cold and bitter he shivered.

[redstainedglasses]

Aroma

“Smell.” Reaper did not look up from his journal. He was seated in his usual evening lounging spot. A leather armchair nestled in the corner of one of their castle’s many reading nooks. A small table to his right housed his warm tea and vial of ink he frequently dipped his pen into as he scribbled in one of his many journals. 

Vertebrae had stepped in from her outing. Blood coating her pale form as she’s clearly had a rather bountiful hunt. 

“It’s just blood.” but her housemate did not respond. The soft scratching of his feather dip pen along paper was all she got.

Sighing she crossed her arms. “Fine…I’ll go take a bath.” grumbling she leaned back on her heel. Falling backwards toward the ground that quickly opened to send her tumbling into a prefilled bathtub. Reaper shook his head softly as Vertebrae departed to get clean and took a sip of his tea. 

–

About twenty minutes later Vertebrae stepped out of the bath. Her shadow quickly wrapped around her in a sweater like outfit as she walked through another portal back into the same reading nook previously. 

“There! All clea–Smell” Reaper cut her off as he again did not look up from his book.

“Aw come on!” the jester complained. Her wet hair drenching the wooden floor boards beneath her caused a small puddle to form. 

“I took a bath already!” Once again the plague masked grim did not respond nor look up from his journaling. 

Annoyed, Vertebrae grumbled as stepped back into the still open portal. “FINE..” she huffed angrily. “I’ll use soap this time.” 

–

Vertebrae sat as The Shade’s gilded claws scrubbed the four or fifth shampoo type into her hair, she’d honestly lost count at this point. She’d wet, lathered, rinsed and repeated several times now with multiple brands of shampoo the night had collected for her. She splashed the soap suds off her body from the six or so types of bodywash she’d scrubbed against her pale skin. Dunking herself into the water a final time she rinsed out the last of the shampoo that clung to her hair and scalp. 

Her hair felt incredibly silky as she climbed out of her bath and rung it between her hands. Squeezing out a large amount of water it had retained while she walked out of the bathroom. 

Her nearly three hour long bathing session finally completed, she walked out of the bathroom through another portal her shadow had conjured that led to Reaper’s laboratory. The Shade quickly clothed her as she left the privacy of the bathroom, although Vertebrae didn’t care about modesty herself her shadow thankfully had some mind to keep her decent. 

Reaper’s lab was a small building built off to the side of his garden.The room was overall rather small in appearance but only for the fact it was packed full of a variety of items. Various stacks of books, dried up herbs and bottled up potions and vials off goodness knows what lined the many many shelves in the space. A large cauldron sat in the corner under a currently not lit fire pit. And toward the center back of the room was a desk. One where Reaper was currently seated at, mixing vials of various chemicals together. 

“There all clean, now–smell” Vertebrae made a strangled noise as she was once again scolded for her scent. But now she was more angry than annoyed. 

“What?! But I used soap! And Shampoos! I smell like your garden threw up on me! I don’t even know what ‘April Fresh’ even means!” She cried out angrily marching up to stand beside Reaper. Though he still towered over her even while seated she wasn’t going to back down. 

“Surely you’re joking right?” Though Vertebrae had never known the grim to be anything but serious. “I’m the cleanest I’ve ever been wh– CRRACK” the sound of glass breaking had Vertebrae stop in her ranting. 

Eyes looking at Reaper’s hands that once held tqo intact vials now held shards of glass and were wet with whatever liquid chemicals he had been mixing together. He was stiff, solid as though he was struggling to keep himself composed as he clenched the mess in his hands tightly. 

Vertebrae stood silently for a moment unsure what to make of his actions but before she could question him Reaper’s beak slowly opened, the vertical split parting to reveal his mouth as he exhaled through his maw. After inhaling and exhaling slowly a few more times before closing his mouth and rose from his seat, stiffly. He carefully tossed the broken bits of glass in a waste bin and peeled off his ruined gloves and tossed them in as well. 

He didn’t speak as he pulled out a fresh pair of gloves from a drawer along with other various belongings he began to dump into a bag. He was packing it seemed. 

Still unsure what to make of this the jester watched quietly. It didn’t take Reaper long before he completed his packing, he then finally turned to look at Vertebrae.  

“I will return in two month’s time.” He stated bluntly. “Night will tend to the garden. Get your assistance and rid yourself of your burden. How you can possibly be standing at this moment with how powerfully you reek of desire is completely perplexing.” Stepping into a portal he conjured, Reaper exited the laboratory and their home with the portal quickly sealing itself behind him. 

Vertebrae started at the spot her roommate had been standing. Confusion clear on her face as she snapped her head to her shadow.

“What the hell was that??” she threw her arms forward gesturing to where Reaper had been before rolling her eyes and shaking her head. The shadows around her laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. The gilded teeth in the darkness clicked together as though chuckling with laughter. 

Brushing off her familiar, Vertebrae walked out of the laboratory and through the lush garden toward the exit. “Get my bedchamber ready, I'm going to bed.” She was suddenly feeling very exhausted and sleepy. 

[seat-safety-switch]

When you get older, you realize that most cleaning products are not very good at cleaning at all. Even though three-quarters of human existence consists of cleaning your house before people show up, the expensive and hazardous magic juices you buy from the store to help you do it are not really doing much at all.

Sure, they might make a stinky chemical smell that masks the natural cheese-like odour of your rapidly disintegrating surroundings. Maybe they sell a little device that puff-puffs some clouds of flower smell into your property periodically, just in case your cat doesn't know how to use the toilet. All this masks the problem. The only solution for really cleaning your house is to burn it down.

Now, I'm not advocating arson. The last thing this column wants to do is get in trouble with law enforcement. Firefighters are usually a lot sharper, too, and will catch onto a crime right away, because they didn't spend their entire education learning about different kinds of ways to threaten the cashier at Krispy Kreme into giving them some free Originals. No. I'm saying you should call the firefighters up and tell them to burn your house down for you.

Like my grandpa used to say, you learn a whole lot when your house is on fire. It's educational. All those firefighters will be really grateful for the opportunity, which could come in handy later if you get into a mess with the police. And once the place has been reduced to cinders and ashes (are those the same thing? Note to self, ask Siri later) you can build a whole new house that will be clean and not stink like old socks all the time. It's probably cheaper in the long run than giving Big Bleach $18 a bottle for "No Survivors" Brand Odour Eliminator Spray that makes your hands hurt.

[angelesca]

d d d d dddd d DATING ANAXA HEADCANONS 🗣️🗣️🗣️ bc im proper insane, bonkers even (oh blimey she escaped the asylum again)

full art plug here😎

did i draw this and imagine a million scenarios during it? yes. yes idid. this post is the result. btw havent played 3.1 so here are my wrong headcanons (more mischaracterisation? love that) (w/ gnreader as usual!) bc i love my men bratty and smart. WARNING!! i broke my sfw rules for anaxa LMAOOO💔💔mix of sfw + NSFW ahead guys look OUT ITS NOT A DRILL THIS IS HAPPENING AAAAA😭🙏

starting off strong. i ant hold it in anymore ANAXA'S EROGENOUS ZONE IS UNDER HIS EYEPATCH🗣️🗣️🗣️ I HAVE SPOKEN MY TRUTH‼️THIS IS WHAT MADE ME QUESTION MY SFW STATUS I CAN FINALLY RELEASEMY DEMONS

i imagine he lowkey loves it when you have your finger under his eyepatch and. penetrate it. into his cosmos space thingy. and like he breathes really heavy, flushed cheeks, some tears, def some stifled moaning, and will hold your wrist to nudge your finger further in. basically bro is getting off to it. will clean your finger with his tongue after the session, but you have to help him walk around since his legs are deffo jelly after that DO YOU GUYS SEE WHAT IM SEEING PLEEEEASEEE SOMEONE WRITE THIS DONT MAMKE ME DO ITTT😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏

EDIT: ANAXA HAS A "G-SPOT"/PROSTATE IN HIS SPACE CHEST🗣🗣🗣

WILL TAKE OFF HIS RINGS AND PUT IT ON YOUR FINGERS RAAAAAAAAAAH and he def teases you by sliding it on your ring finger, gauging your reaction as he smirks (that sly sod omggg)

"hmm, this finger looks a little lonely... i could change that."

interlaces his hand with yours to stretch it, like a massage. knows all the pressure points to help de-stress you

uses his wind powers to do fun magic tricks and play with you like imagine he only has to flick his finger and the wind pulls you closer to him HUUUUUUUUUUU SICKCCKKKK. will also blow a calm, soft breeze if you need to relax and take your mind off things.

literally gets a kick off of flustering you (it's his love language) every time you ask him why his response is: "so? don't like it?" mans not embarassed💔

if you have any texting habits, like sending cute stickers or kaomojis, anaxa will copy it bc he thinks its cute and amusing. always replying to your messages, although the same can't be said with the chrysos heirs who nag at him for ignoring theirs

anaxa: where are you? i've been waiting for ages ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴ you: ??? that's my kaomoji??? anaxa: ours now anaxa: (҂` ﾛ ´)︻デ═一 you: ＼(º □ º l|l)/

idk why i feel this so strongly but anaxa just does many smaller kisses, like pecks to the cheek. kinda playful, fleeting but always returning. i also feel like he's a neck kinda guy, always brushing his fingers along it or placing kisses. will secure you in place with a hug just to kiss the nape.

even though you two are together, anaxa will still give you stinky side eyes. loves to hear your gossip for sure, he doesn't say it but he loves chatting shit about others. will be the quietest ever when you have juicy stories.

will flame anyone who has made you upset to bits and pieces. bro's mouth is like a machine gun

likes to tilt your chin, moving it so you face him whenever he wants your attention.

he likes it when you take control, that brat taming typa shiii brooo00 he likes it when you rough him up, always a cheeky grin on his face. prods you as well, like "is that it?", "c'mon, harder my love..."

loves when you give him hickeys, or any markings like scratches. its like staking your claim on him and he fw with that😎

one sure way to get him flustered is straight up telling him "i love you". it forces him to confront his feelings head on and anaxa can't deal with that. will lightly flick your forehead, or anything to stop you from staring at his reddened face.

a/n: so. this is what happens whne im menstruating. how we feeling guys. it was jsut a few very insane headcanons tbh, the rest were fine, bit of an overreaction looool this is tame in comparison to my ao3 works. my god i need my daily cuppa where is it. this reminds me of when i was a wee teenager and experienced akechi from p5 for the first time. changed my trajectory fr. thanks akechi goro u saved ruined me

[nanenna]

Let's Wrap this Up, Folks

Sleepy King Masterpost

No editing, we die like Vlad (slowly, painfully, and unmourned). I'm so happy to say this is done!

---

Danny held Cujo close as he scritched him behind the ears, nothing like stinky puppy kisses to help him feel better. And right now he felt pretty awful! Dark Dan had been Ghost King too, it’s just that no one ever told him so he didn’t know. Well, judging from how Johnny and Kitty reacted no one else knew either, and he guesses that was a good thing. Except now everyone does know, between Johnny and Kitty, and the whole of the Far Frozen he’s pretty sure gossip is already getting around.

“Alright, everyone ready to sit down and explain some shit?” Stinky trenchcoat man said. Danny had been introduced, he just didn’t care to remember Blondie’s name.

“Language!” Mom scolded.

“Yeah, yeah.” Stinky plopped himself onto one of the chairs. Wonder Woman sat elegantly in another while Batman loomed over her chair’s back. The not-a-ghost guy, Deadman, was hovering near Stinky.

Danny decided the safest thing to do was to squeeze himself between Mom and Jazz on the couch. Cujo laid himself out across their laps on his back, begging for belly rubs. Vlad seemed to take the Batman approach, standing off to the side and looking rather annoyed.

Stinky pointed at Danny, “Let’s start with the obvious, you somehow, and I’ve yet to figure it out but I will, are Phantom.”

Danny looked over at his parents. Mom smiled brightly as she patted his arm, “Why don’t you show them what you can do?”

“Yeah, Danno! Show them the Fenton gumption!”

Danny sighed as he transferred Cujo over to Jazz’s lap. Thankfully so long as he was getting attention he’d probably be okay. He stood up and moved into the middle of the room. “It’s kinda bright,” he warned before letting his transformation wash over him. “Tada,” he said lamely, arms held out as he stood in the middle of the room.

“Christ on a cracker!” Stinky yelled as he flopped back dramatically.

“You should see what Vlad looks like,” Danny said wryly.

“Daniel!” Vlad yelled angrily.

“Constantine already told us you two are the same form of being,” Batman said gravely.

“I would also point out that young Danny here has already accused you of some very suspicious activities,” Wonder Woman added.

“Vladdie was going through some things!” Jack stood and shook a fist at the Justice League.

“He’s working on reforming,” Maddie added with a smile.

“The biggest thing he was holding over my head was my secret identity,” Danny gestured as he spoke, then stopped and stared down at his hand. “Am I wearing armor? What? Where did…?” He looked down. He was covered in black armor with a white like loincloth, or whatever those are called, and some kind of white fur cape at his shoulders. He found the cape behind him and held it up: yup. White fluffy fur, kinda reminded him of the yeties. “Wait, I don’t have horns, do I?” He felt over his head, thankfully just finding his regular hair.

“No, Danny, you don’t have horns,” Jazz said with a giggle.

“Well excuse me, Pariah has horns! And so does Frostbite, this cape reminds me of him.” He patted himself, getting a feel for his new armor, it felt weird. “Where did this even come from?”

“Congrats, it comes with the title,” Stinky said with a hand wave.

“I don’t get it, the other ghosts said it wasn’t like a magical title or something, that Pariah just declared himself king and did everything himself. Why am I getting the magical girl outfit upgrade?”

“Pariah stole the crown, much like your weird uncle here tried to do.”

Danny snorted at Constantine calling Vlad his weird uncle.

“But the crown is much older than Pariah Dark, it decides who it belongs to.”

Well that was just great, he’s pretty sure Clockwork had something to do with this. “Ugh, this sucks! How do I get rid of it?” Danny asked.

“You don’t.”

Everyone just stared at Constantine.

“What?”

“Congrats, you’re the new Ghost King. Comes with a castle, an army of thralls, and a pretty significant power boost. Probably doubled since apparently you’re the king twice over.”

“No, I have school on Monday! I can’t go to school looking like this!” Danny waved at himself.

“Danny,” Jazz said while trying to hide a grin, “the armor wasn’t on your human form.”

“Oh… right.” Danny de-transformed and looked down at his hands, the rings were still there. “Um!”

“Sorry, kid, no such thing as a part time king, the crowns and rings are permanent now.”

“Noooooooo!” Danny wailed! His normal life! That he was finally getting back since his parents put better protections on the portal after finally telling them the truth! “I just wanted to graduate high school, was that too much to ask?”

Batman grunted, apparently in agreement.

Danny pointed at Stinky, “This is all your fault! If it weren’t for that spell you hit me with they wouldn’t be stuck.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Danny! Here you guys are!” Ellie came flying into the room, her backpack dragging on the ground. She stopped when she spotted the Justice League members all staring at her. “Uh….”

Cujo barked and scrambled out of Jazz’s lap, leaping for Ellie.

“Cujo! Who’s a good boy?!” The two began happily and loudly rolling around on the ground.

Sam and Tucker followed shortly after, both pausing in the doorway. “Uh… Danny?” Tucker asked slowly, “Why are Batman and Wonder Woman in Vlad’s living room?”

“More importantly,” Sam cut in, “why do you have the Crown of Fire over your head? Twice?”

“Turns out I’m the Ghost King, and so was you-know-who.”

“Which you-know-who?” Tucker asked.

“Nasty Burger explosion.”

Tucker still looked a little confused.

“Since Constantine said the second crown was from an alternate timeline, I’m guessing it belonged to an alternate version of yourself, one you also had to beat in combat.”

Danny sighed and deflated, “You really are the world’s greatest detective.”

Batman’s only response was a twitch of his lips. Danny never wanted to play poker with him.

“Danny, why haven’t you told us about this?” Mom asked in that very special tone of voice that meant she was Not Mad Just Disappointed.

“Well… he was evil,” Danny blurted out as his shoulders hiked up to his ears. “I don’t wanna be evil.”

Jazz came over and pulled him into a hug, “And we’re taking steps to make sure that doesn’t happen, part of that is getting you a proper support network. And look! Now we can ask the Justice League for help.”

“If you don’t mind, why hasn’t anyone called us before now?” Wonder Woman asked.

“What? So an overshadowed Superman can run amok and then there’s a photo of me punching Superman in the face on the front of the newspaper? No thanks.” That was the last thing Danny needed.

“What do you think the magic user branch of the Justice League is bloody for?” Stinky asked loudly.

“I didn’t know there was a magic user branch!” Danny defended.

“None of us did,” Tucker added. He moved to go sit on the floor and lean against the couch, Sam joined him.

“In all fairness, we do not advertise Justice League Dark,” Wonder Woman said with a gentle smile. “But now that we know our assistance is needed we are happy to help.”

“I’m not sure what you can do at this point, we’ve locked down the main way ghosts have been getting into Amity. Mostly it’s the natural portals now, and there’s not much anyone can do about those.”

“Can you get the GIW to back off?” Sam asked.

“Oh! I hadn’t thought about that,” Danny said eagerly.

Batman frowned, “What’s the GIW?”

“Hey!” Ellie came up to the side of Wonder Woman’s chair, “Can you teach me how to sword fight? That sounds so cool!”

“Why ask her?” Danny wandered over, leaving his friends to explain the Gits in White to Batman. “You can just ask Pandora.”

“I don’t have four arms like Pandora,” Ellie whined.

“So just duplicate, it’s easy!” Danny stuck his tongue out and furrowed his brow in concentration, sweat beading on his forehead before his arms split into a second pair. Then, just like Frostbite taught him, he made four ice swords, one in each hand. “See?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “Oh, it’s so easy! Says the guy who can’t even make one whole duplicate.”

“It’s hard!” Danny defended. “And I can, I could do it with the exo-skeleton, just… not since.” He’d been trying, but duplication was hard, he didn’t seem to have quite enough power. “Wait a minute, I have a power boost with the crowns.” Danny took a step to the left, Danny also took a step to the right. Now there were two Dannies with a perfectly normal number of arms, each holding an ice sword. Each also had a pair of crowns over their head. “Huh, so that’s what it looks like,” both Dannies said in unison.

“Ew, stop it, that’s so weird,” Ellie said in disgust.

“Hey guys! Look what I can do!” Dannies both said with a grin as he popped out several more duplicates. This was going to be fun!

---

Omake:

Danny trudged into school on Monday, chatting with Sam and Tucker, still wearing the crowns and rings along with his normal clothes. He went straight to his locker, getting ready for the day. On time for once!

“Hey Fenturd!” Dash jeered from down the hall, “Why’d you miss school on… uh… what’s that?”

Danny closed his locker and looked up at Dash, “What’s what?”

“What do you mean what’s what? What’s that above your head?”

Danny looked up, then back at Dash, “What’re you talking about?”

“Don’t play coy, there’s a crown above your head! It’s on fire?????”

“Dash, I think I would notice a floating, flaming crown above my head.”

Dash looked completely confused, he looked over at Kwan, who was also frowning. “Kwan!”

“I can see it too, it’s there.”

“Right! Hear that, Fentina?”

Danny just looked at Dash like he’d lost his mind, “This is a really weird prank.”

“I’ll prove it!” Dash whipped out his phone and took a picture, then held the screen out. “There, see?”

Danny looked at the phone, “I just see me and Sam and Tucker.” His friends also leaned in and looked at the screen.

Dash pulled his phone back and looked at it, sure enough the crown wasn’t in the photo. But it was also still floating above Danny’s head, and Kwan had also seen it. What was going on?

“Anyway, I’m gonna go turn in my homework, I don’t want to get stuck in summer school.” Danny turned and wandered off to first period, his friends in tow.

Dash was… very confused. He knows what he saw, he knows the other students saw it too!

“Isn’t that the crown the Ghost King had?” Paulina asked as Danny left.

“I… think so?” Dash said uncertainly.

“I think there were two of them,” Kwan added.

They all followed Danny to first period, they had it together after all. They arrived just after Danny, just in time to hear Mr. Lancer shout, “Sword in the Stone! Mr. Fenton, what is that over your head?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Danny answered calmly while Sam and Tucker, standing just a step behind him, were wildly shaking their heads and making various “Do not” gestures.

“I… You… that is…” Mr. Lancer glanced back and forth, clearly conflicted.

“I managed to finish that essay,” Danny said cheerfully handing it over. “Sorry about Friday, but it should be excused.”

“Yes, I was told about that… something about the Justice League?” Mr. Lancer stared at the crown.

“Yeah, I got to meet them! It was wild.” Danny smiled charmingly.

“Alright, yes, well… please take your seats, class will be starting soon.” Mr. Lancer looked at the crown one last time, then seemed to decide it wasn’t his business and to carry on like usual.

“Oh my god,” Danny whispered to Tucker and Sam as they went to their seats, “I can’t believe that worked!”

“Just your usual day in Amity Park,” Tucker said with a snicker.

Val came walking over once they were seated. She stared at the crowns over Danny’s head, then down to the rings on his fingers no one had noticed yet. Her eyes turned to narrow slits. Danny put a finger to his lips and winked.

[wonderjanga]

Billy celebrating ancient Egyptian festivals and traditions? Mayhaps even visiting Black Adam (even funnier if they're still on terrible terms, they just really want to celebrate with someone and just stare at eachother violently as they eat on like shem nessim or something, the justice league wondering where tf he is? Even funnier, Billy's relationship with the gods... Billy being upset cause he wants to participate in the beautiful feast of the valley but he's in a fight with Khonshu)

Marvel and Adam: *sitting at a table, glaring*

Marvel: *wearing a clothes pin on his nose so he doesn’t have to smell the Fesikh(that’s the stinky ahh fish, right)*

Adam: “You can’t handle the smell, champion?” *already loading his plate up*

Marvel: “You can? I can hear your nose hairs sizzling.” *loading his plate up too*

Adam: “Lies.”

Marvel: “Don’t call me a liar. If you’re still upset about my eggs looking better than yours, you can just say that instead.”

Adam: “Why would I be upset? The dye I used for my eggs was infused with magic to make it shimmer. Yours is crude in comparison, I have no idea where you got the idea that yours were better.”

Marvel: “Mm… well art is subjective.”

Adam: “You and I both know that’s what losers say.”

Marvel: “I hope your fesikh was prepared wrong.”

Adam: “Likewise.”

They ended up fighting like children. At least they did it outside though so they could bask in the nature.

Also, all of this is from Wikipedia. I’m sorry if anything is inaccurate.

[possesseddesiress]

Quick Swap: Me and Bros

CONTENT WARNING: This story includes themes of transformation and body control with a suggestive approach. If this type of narrative is not to your liking or you do not meet the recommended age, we suggest you do not continue. All images used (if any) belong to their respective owners. I claim no authorship over them and they are only used for illustrative purposes.

If you decide to go ahead, welcome to Possessed Desires, where mind and body are never completely under your control.

Quick Swap: Me and Bros

My friends and I had been wanting to go to a party for months, it would be a huge opportunity to meet guys (oh yeah, we're gay), it was very exclusive and there was bound to be fun galore (in all its forms, of course).

But we had no invitations. Apparently we were "losers" who were not invited even in the remotest possibility. We had given up, until one of my friends, Oliver, found a way around it. Apparently in the attic of his house were his grandmother's things, including a magic book with a huge chapter on how to possess other bodies. So we got to work.

Oliver ended up in the body of his older brother. With big muscles and apparently a closet full of interesting things. And very handsome, I admit it, he become a little bit arrogant.

I was sent to my brother's body too. I've been admiring my new legs for hours... Just look at them, fat, muscular, and what to say about how stinky his feet are after training! He would leave his shoes smelly as soon as he warmed up.

To my best friend, Jackson. He send him to his bully's body, and well, he didn't waste any time at all. He went to the school showers and the trainer gave him something to have fun with for hours, if you know what I mean.

Another of my friends, Josh, was sent to his neighbor's body. Latino, dark skin, with huge arms and hairy armpits, he took forever because he confessed to us that he was licking and sniffing himself non-stop for a long time. He almost tried to break an apple between his new biceps.

Derrick ended up on his cousin's body. He debuted his cigar box, apparently now he really likes the taste it leaves on his tongue, although I'm sure it's more to feel powerful and masculine. And well, I don't doubt he looks like that.

Other friends, Ryan and Bobby, ended up in smelly jock bodies, I swear Ryan's brain atrophied a bit, now he keeps saying “brah” and wanting to bump his pecs every time we say hello, Bobby kept flexing his arms, taking pictures and smelling his stinky armpits, he liked to feel the hair that was now in them. Between him and Josh, they seemed to worship each other's armpits like madmen the first second they saw each other.

And my other three friends - Evan, Albert and Frank - ended up in the bodies of three guys who were partly hosting the party. Let's just say it could get a little... Extravagant at any moment.

I'd like to say we went to the party. But we ended up better off "partying" with each other for hours. I don't want to go back to my body no way! I love my new thick legs, and I love guys touching and squeezing them.

----

Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you liked it, don't forget to follow it and share it so more people can discover it.

I'm always open to suggestions and ideas, so if you have any fantasy or scenario in mind, let me know in the comments or in messages. See you in the next story... Who knows what body you will occupy this time?

---

[kiyzukiy]

Cat distribution system

Sypnosis: Caleb? A cat. You? None the wiser, but you have a stinky cat now so how about give him a bath? Nothing could go wrong, right?

Tags: CalebxReader, fun, Cat!Caleb, reader is not MC, self-aware!Caleb?, Caleb in our world

A/N: And I'm back again! This one is a bit shorter than the starter, but I hope you still like it. As usual cat shenanigans. That's it. I've also implemented a taglist now, so anyone who wants to get peeping hot updates hit me up! :3

Word count: 3,9k

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Lost in your thoughts if you really should name a cat that you probably have to give away again, you didn’t notice the squirming cat on your thighs. Was it a wise choice? Probably not. If you gave it a silly name was it easier to give it away again? Like the ones they give the animals in a shelter. Dave, the magical cheese wizard or something. You also thought about giving it a meaningful name like “hope” or something along the lines. 

You only got disrupted by your sense of smell. Jesus Christ, was that you? No. You were forgetting something very important here, you were sure of it. Raising up your arms so you could smell your clothes, you wanted to facepalm yourself the very next second. The cat. Where did you find it? That's right. In a dumpster. Oh your fucking god. 

Amused about your own stupidity you shook your head. You really were tired and your mind was barely even in survival mode. 

A tinge of guilt and shame hit your system. So immersed in yourself, you totally forgot that you picked up a cat on your way home and just did what you usually did. Playing Love and Deepspace for an hour and then making food as soon as motivation found your body again. It was a simple way to unwind. Clearing your head in a way and let you focus again as soon as your little me time was over. The true dangers of a routine, and what didn’t help your already offline mind was that cat quickly made your space to its new home. It surprised you that cat didn’t dive head first for a spot to hide after your small walk. You thoroughly expected that reaction as it was the default for any animal. Hide, checking out the stranger, gauging the threat and then maybe trying to form a relationship. 

Not your friendly buddy of a cat right here though. Would you have any brain cells left to use critical thinking, you also would wonder about the high intelligence the cat a moment prior showed. How knowingly it moved it’s paws to go to “falling for you”, watching what it saw as if it understood the scene that played. 

Once more ripped the stench you out of your thoughts. Cat however didn't seem to be bothered to be covered in grime and everything a street had to offer. Its fur caked together and a smell emitting you wished you could just dose it in a febreze bottle. 

“Alright. No name for you yet, buddy. First a bath”, you said and scooped the cat up. 

This time around the cat was not happy to be picked up. As soon as it wasn't on your legs anymore and near the tablet, cat began to yell and squirm in your arms like the devil was after it. 

“I know, I know. Cat’s can bathe themselves and get clean but this is only once. I promise”, tried to soothe it and held it a bit tighter. 

Cat didn't want to listen to you, it seemed like. Was it this against getting cleaned? Well, you did know cats usually didn't like water and maybe something bad happened to this cat with it. Rain and no shelter would be enough to avoid any kind of water, you think. Just for being in the safe, you closed the bathroom door behind you. No escape until this cat didn't smell like a drunk puked on it. 

________ 

First up? A good call from you to take a bath. He did feel disgusting. Slowly the sensation of sticky dirt and grime spread all over his body, and he too couldn't stand the smell anymore. What even was in that dumpster? Couldn’t he have woken up in a recycling bin rather than in a trash dumpster with whatever that was inside? 

Would he make it easy for you though? Hell no, he wanted answers and for you to figure out that the character you tried to gain affinity for and he was one and the same. That is what is most important here, right now. 

As soon as you scooped him up, he started to complain. Ranging from a simple “let me down, I can walk” over a few demands and maybe one insult but he would rather die than admit that. The next thing he heard was you trying to convince him that it wasn’t even that bad and he knew. Caleb knew it wasn’t that bad, that it was necessary even but he was stressed. Confused. Angry and frustrated. Agitated and for once in his life, he didn’t know what was going on. Back at the experiments as a child, even then, he had a sliver of understanding as to why certain things happened. This shit right here? No clue. A mission, blackout and boom: Cat. If he ever would be honest with himself? He wanted to cry. It was all too much, all too overwhelming. He just got it all back. MC found him again, they slowly were in the making of a new relationship and now this? He almost had it all back. 

The ash brown cat heard a lock falling into place. Oh no. His eyes and thoughts focusing back to reality that was about to unfurl. No, wait. Bathing? Him? You? You were going to bathe him? The realisation hit him like a freight train. He begged your finest pardon? No. The answer was no. Yes, it was necessary but he could do it on his own. No help needed. He was not a cat. He was. Not. A. Cat! No matter that he sported paws right now. He could make it work. He was a man and last time he checked, he was neither a child nor were you his mother that could warrant this treatment! 

You placed him on the ground again. Cold tiles beneath his paws and he had to watch you what could only be described as his personal doom: adjusting water. 

Ey! Leave! He can shower on his own! Ears flattening against his skull, he let out a growl. 

“Alright mister, no need to hiss at me. It's not my fault you ended up like that”, you said absentmindedly with a little laughter in your voice. You weren't even looking in his direction. But, oh a smile on your pretty lips. 

Caleb, in the back of his mind, did understand that you were doing your best as a person caring for a new found pet. If he would just take a deep breath and do what he usually did, that was seeing his opponent out of their eyes, he wouldn’t act this way but emotions were clouding his judgement so he did what he never did: letting them roll. Enraged at your unfitting response, he ended up nipping you in the heel.

“Ow! What the fuck? What was that for?”, with a look full of judgement you looked down at him. “I’m helping you here, you know?”

Serves you right, he meowed and huffed. 

“Not so friendly anymore, huh?”, you chuckled and shook your head in amusement. In the back of his field of vision he saw you turning the water off. Clearly satisfied with the temperature. 

Bold of you to assume that I’m friendly to begin with, he hissed. Not that he expected you to understand that. 

You now fully turned to him and got on your haunches. A hand slowly crept towards him. Inching closer to brush once more over his fur. Soothing, calming, trying to convince him.

“You really need a bath though, so don’t make this difficult for the both of us, yeah?”, you said and looked at him with a pleading look. 

Oh, game on. He will make you regret this. For picking him up on end, like he was some kind of plushie and not having a telepathic evol. Not that any of that was your fault. Was he petty? Childish? Probably, but he was frustrated and with no one but you to vent it on, this was almost too easy. 

Caleb let out a huff. Fed up with you touching him without asking and the height difference that made his neck harden. No wonder you didn’t take him seriously that much. Who would when a smudgy little being that only could hiss and meow showed an act of defiance that was born out of pure spite?

With a flittering look he spotted the next best thing to remedy this temporary issue. In quick succession he was on the bathroom sink and sat down. Now he was looking down on your hunched over form. Your move now.

“Oho? Is this how you wanna play?”, you said as you got up from your position on the bathroom tiles. “Buddy, if you don't go on your own I have no issues to grab you by the scruff and hold you beneath the water. A good little water boarding session would do your new found attitude some good.”

You tried to sound earnest but he saw the mirth in your eyes and the mischievous smirk building on your lips. Still, he kept sitting. Buddy, as if. You were all bark and no bite.

“Have it your way then”, your hand darted out. 

Nah, you wouldn't dare. 

Ey! No! 

He dashed away and just barely missed your hand that was straight going forthe back of his neck.

His escape route was right into the shower bed. Urgh, now his feet were wet. It felt more like stepping into water with socks on. This sensation did not spark joy. One dip and the next jump was right out of the shower again, a few hurried pitter patter taps and onto the toilet seat.

“Mister! Get back here!”

Nuh uh! You are crazy! Don't dare to remind him that he actually went with you to get clean. This objective clearly missing in his mind as he was hellbend of avoiding your hand that was rather good in trying to catch him. Making him work up a sweat. Just barely did he dodge your hand once more that reached for him and onto the sink shelf he went. If he could stick out his tongue, he would. Actually? Why not, he did stick out his tongue at you. 

“Oh you think you are so smart, mister fancy pants”, you said, slightly out of breath. “Just you wait.”

Try me, he meowed, his playful character seeping through. Like a predator lying in wait, you assessed if he would move again. He did the very same. A silent stand-off ensued. Who would move first? Could he hide somewhere? Would you reach out obviously again? 

In his moment of distraction he saw your hand too late out of the corner of his eye and the next thing he felt was your hand steadfast on his scruff. 

“Aha!”, you celebrated triumphant. “Got you!”

Ah, well fought. He yields, but only because it wasn’t worth it to prolong the inevitable further. Your blinding smile to your victory and cute giggle in your voice, might have helped him as well. Caleb came to terms with the fact that you would help him take his first shower in this body. The ash brown cat also had to admit that it was funny to play catch it with you. It took his mind away from the disconnecting mess of information that he still needs to process. For a bit he was just himself again.

Cautiously you put your hand on his hind legs and picked him up. Steady grip that was strong enough so he couldn’t struggle but not enough to hurt. You set him down in the shower and he almost immediately jumped out again. The feeling of wet socks shoots up in him once more and for a split second he wanted to dip. Nah, fuck this. 

“No. Stay”, you said with a stern voice and pressed his ass down in the shower. Ouh! Even worse! That’s like sitting down on a bench you didn’t know was wet. 

I can stand!, he complained. Your grip not loosing up in return. 

“Yes, yes. Water. I know. You got this.”

He definitely didn’t. Caleb's body was screaming at him to move and get rid of these sensations. You try to be a cat and he would force you to go through with this. You can bet your fine ass that he wouldn’t be so nice about it though. 

He sighed. Maybe he should be a bit more kinder to you. Disregarding the conflict in his mind that, yes. He could, should and it probably would make this all easier. On the other side, why? You are a stranger. Basically kidnapped him (no, he wouldn't elaborate that he coaxed you into taking him with you) and made threats to harm him. A stranger he would leave behind as soon as he got his answers and could go back to his universe.

The ash brown cat heard the water turning up again. The hand on his neck never leaving. Merciful you faced the spray away from him. He half expected a full on face splash for his little stunt he just pulled and you following through with your promise you made earlier. 

“Just how did you end up this way?”, you mused to yourself more than him. Honey, if only he knew. The meaning in more ways than one. 

The water gently sprayed his paws first and then his whole body. The light flow of the water was like a breath of fresh air. Calming and soothing, it washed away the sood and dirt in his otherwise pristine fur. As well as in his mind. Back to logically and rationally thinking about his situation.

All he could do was meow at you to make you see that he listened.

“Yeah, not helping much buddy. I don't understand cat”, you giggled and put a bit of shampoo in your hands. 

Again this buddy. For crying out loud, stop calling him that. He was not your friend nor a good acquaintance you could call that! 

In retaliation he bit your hand that was about to lather him up in soap. Immediate regret greeted his taste buds and you just laughed harder. 

“Suits you right. Bite me one more time, mister”, you grinned as you quickly went through his fur and got the sticky dirt out. Carefully and with a lot of probing, squeezing together and combing your finger through his fur you managed to make it smooth again. The flooring of the shower started to get coloured in a disgusting brown and grey. Small pebbles falling off of him. 

All through it, Caleb stood still. His body relaxing, him just letting you do what you have to do. The feeling of wet clothes leaving as soon as the water hit his skin and god damn, you were good at massages. He didn't realise how beaten up his body was and stiff in some places. This was heaven. 

Out of his control, he began to purr. 

“That's the good shit, huh?”, you said in a hushed voice, your hands still getting out knots without making it hurt.

Caleb nodded to your statement. This was really it. Water hit his body once more, a little bit warmer this time around.

“Alright, mister. One more time and then you are free.” 

Whatever you say, woman. He could just die right now. The ash brown cat wouldn't mind. He was in bliss. Your expert fingers making him forget that he actually still needed a way to tell you who he is and getting answers. 

This time a different shampoo made him bubbly. Slowly he opened his eyes, only to be hit by your hands on either side of his cheeks. Holding his face so tenderly like he was made out of glass. When was the last time he got hold like this? Like he was the most precious thing the earth could grace? 

“Hey there, big guy”, you smiled and slowly rubbed his face with your thumbs. Getting it also cleaned. “You truly have beautiful eyes.” 

Caleb breath got stuck in his throat. Uh…back off? A bit too close for comfort. Hello? Uh? 

A bit flustered he tried to move his head away but you gently turned it back to you.

“No, you need a handsome face too. Come here”, you said and returned back to gently rubbing his cheeks and lathering up his head. 

“Yeah, there you go. Look at you. Such a handsome fella.” 

Just how many compliments have you given him? He was used to having women and men alike salivating after him, but straight out compliments? It made him short circuit. 

Once more water washed over him. This time his face as well. Looking out for his ears and eyes you washed the foam away. The water stopped and a quick kiss was pressed to the crown of his head. What? 

“Wait here, mister”, he somehow registered you say. Was this violation? Assaulting, or did he like it? More confusion entered his brain. Breathing, he should be breathing. 

Moments later he felt the fluffy feeling of a towel upon him. Gently but steady you patted him dry. Sometimes ruffling to get friction into his fur to get more water out. After a while you seemed satisfied with your drying off, so you got up again and he out of the shower. 

Exhaustion tackled away the state of relaxation in him. The stark contrast of the humified, warm air in the shower and now being out of it made his small body shiver. Closing his eyes, he listened for what you are doing. Clinking and a few things got pushed aside, a cupboard opened and closed somewhere to his left. Not much later you were back in front of him. 

“Hm, is someone getting tired?”, you asked in a soft voice and with a hand full of affection stroked along his cheek.

Yeah, you could say that. The experiences, happenings, tumultuous feelings from today finally caught up with him. 

“Come on, buddy. I don’t know how much you like a blow dryer but you need to be properly dry before you get sick”, you explained. 

Mh okay…it made Caleb remember the times he gave the same treatment to MC. He wanted to laugh that he was the receiving end today. No one before even tried to attempt to do it for him. 

With no fight left in him, he let himself get picked up tenderly and placed on the bathroom sink. The whirring of the blow dryer starting soon after. Warm air washed over him, his eyes still closed. Just let him have this moment. This moment of care and tenderness, of not worrying for a bit, carefree maybe. For once not the one doing it all on his own. 

“You are such a handsome balinese cat. The audacity to hide that, hm?”, you said in between. “Now your owners will recognise you.”

Sorry to tell you, princess. There will be no owners but regardless did he appreciate your care. Your help. 

A balinese cat? That’s what he turned into? Interesting. This universe right here had an ironic sense of humor. Balinese cats were usually affectionate and playful. Things Caleb only was with his childhood friend. The only one he truly was close to. 

Your hands left his body and he was dry again. Caleb was now as fluffy as the towel you dried him off with. He could only assume you were putting away the blow dryer. Would he dare to look? Look at himself in this form? Maybe he would wake up then and he could laugh about it with MC, what a fucked up dream he had. 

So he turned to the mirror in front of the sink. An ash brown cat stared back at him. Black ears, whiskers and a black out right arm. The other three paws were also black, as the signature of a balinese cat. In his black face glimmered his own violet eyes he saw countless times before. Shining with the same intensity in lavender hues, strong blue lilac tones and the splatter of gold at the bottom. 

Ah, so it’s real. He is a cat. This is how you saw him. A pretty little kitty with full, soft fur and an even fluffier tail to accompany him with. 

He saw you approach in the mirror and he knew what was coming. He was getting picked up again, right? Okay, let's get it over with.

“Do you recognise yourself in the mirror?”, you wondered out loud. Mh duh, obviously. Caleb watched you stretching your back. A crack sounded through the bathroom and you let out a groan. Yo, you good there?

In these few seconds you sounded and looked a lot older than you were and Caleb blamed the exhaustion you must feel yourself. The spirit you showed earlier in trying to catch him must have drained all your energy you had left and Caleb respected you a bit for that. Fighting for what you assumed your responsibility. He let out a small laugh inwardly. Amused by his own actions and letting you see what normally was reserved for only one person.

“Alright, I leave you alone now, my brave fighter”, you smiled tiredly at him. “Gotta make some food.”

Huh? Okay...then...? Thanks?

Caleb inspected him for a few minutes more. Baffled and astonished with his new body. Would he become human again? Could he become human in this world? Would he only return to normal when he went back? How could he go back? Would you even know? You seemed ordinary. Living a simple life with a small reprieve in a game he was unfortunate to appear in. 

He sighed and patted after you. 

The rest of the evening flew past rather uneventful. Caleb thanked the gods that you didn’t have cat food immediately at home. Otherwise he would have started the next fight. Instead you served him some grinded beef with an egg in it. Raw, might he add but he chose against it to get angry at it. For you he was a cat. For now, he would let you believe it as well. But as soon as tomorrow came his plan would start. 

First he would test out if he still got his evol in this world. If he could manage that, he could show you how he manipulated certain things and that would be enough to understand that he was no simple cat or a cat at all for that matter. If he didn’t have his evol? Well, then he needed to find another way. No more blindly tapping on tablets and charade games. Clear and no misunderstandings for you. Caleb would make it crystal clear that he was himself. 

Something that did happen that evening that blew the wind out of his sails was, that you decided actually, for a fact, for real, to name him…Caleb. 

“I mean, you do have his eyes, you know?”, you explained your reasoning. “And if and when I find your owners you get your old name back anyway. It’s not like you will get used to it, right buddy?”

Count him flabberghasted, in utter disbelief. Didn’t you earlier in the evening say yourself, that this would be an awful idea? That you would have to be very lonely to be even considering that? Don’t lie to him. He remembers word for word. 

“Nobody would know that it comes from a otome game”, you rambled on. “And it’s not like you would mind.”

Does he? Caleb was conflicted. Yes, no, maybe? On one hand, yes it’s his name. The name he got. The one he was born with, and on the other hand? You didn’t see that name as anything more than from a character you liked. In the end, he accepted your name choice. One step at the time, right? He got the name down, now he needed everything else. 

The whole funny side with this rather ridiculous turn of your both lives was: 

You both needed each other, you just don’t know it yet.

tag list: @bookworrm1999 ; @luna-looniesblog ; @dummiebunny @roscpctals99 ; @mcdepressed290

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Hey and welcome back to this story. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Any feedback is always appriciated, as long as it's constructive.

Thank you, beautiful soul for reading <3

[fashionteahouse]

secret - paul x reader

AN: many people asked for a part two to the first part. hope you all enjoy :)

first part

Paul took up all of your mind. You walked the branches as the owls hooted from a distance.

He didn’t come. You felt deep disappointment.

Walking slowly back to the Cullen household, you gasp a bit at him sitting on the steps. He wore a shirt and shorts this time. You look down. He had on shoes.

You float to him as he stood up.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” You say in a small voice.

He continued to stare at you.

“Can I..Hug you?” You asked barely above a whisper.

He opened his arms.

You step into his embrace and relish in his touch. He felt like a campfire on a cold night. He smelled like the rain.

“You sniffing me?” You hear him ask.

You smile a bit, “Yes.”

He pulls back but doesn’t take his arms off from around you.

“What do I smell like to you?”

“Like the rain..It’s my favorite smell.” You admit.

He hummed a response.

“Come inside.” You say to him and take his hand.

He walks in, comfortably. You bit back a smile as he went into the kitchen.

He closed the fridge with a smack.

“We don’t have human food, I’m afraid.”

“Yeah, I see that.” he frowned.

“Are you hungry? I can take you out.”

“You trying to take me on a date, already?”

You bubble out a laugh that he thought was cute.

“Yeah. It’s to thank you for sparing me.” You say. He brings out a handsome smile that made you stare in awe.

You guide him to the garage as you walk towards the vehicle that was yours. He whistled as he checked it out.

“Do you want to drive?” You ask. You smile at the light in his eyes as he nodded.

He drove with great ease.

“Do you think I could visit where you live?”

“No.” He says. You wait for him to say why, but he doesn’t. You don't ask.

It was a diner in Port Angeles. You found out that he ate a lot.

“If you weren’t so pretty, I would’ve found it creepy how you’re watching me eat.”

You look down with a chuckle.

“You think I’m pretty?” You ask softly with a hand resting on your cheek.

“Yeah. I’m sure you’ve heard it time and time again.”

“Yeah but….It’s different that it’s coming from a guy like you…”

He swallowed his bite.

“What’s a guy like me?”

“You’re very cute…I think about you a lot…I wish I could dream so that I could visit you.”

The smile he gave you on his face made you feel excited.

He hands you your keys back as you two were in the parking lot.

“I can drive you home. It’s not a problem.”

“Your kind isn’t allowed where I live.” he tells you. You felt a deep pit of disappointment once again.

He turns and you say a desperate, “Wait!“

He faces you, waiting for you to speak.

“When can I see you again?” You ask sadly. The thought of him not seeing you again felt like a knife.

He stepped forward as he plants a quick kiss on the side of your lips. He stared at you as he pulled back. He expected it to feel cool but he didn’t expect it to feel so nice. His tongue licked the bottom of his lip and he was able to taste the residue of you. He found his favourite taste. It was his guilty pleasure.

You look up at him with eagerness as you step closer to him.

You didn’t smell like the other cold ones that he had came across time and time again. You didn’t smell like strong stinky bleach that burned his nostrils. You didn’t make him recoil.

You smelled sweet but not sickly sweet.

You smelled like the times he would enter the candy store as a kid. He wished that he could bottle your smell.

You brushed your lips against his and you both took in the contrast. His hot lips warmed up the cool body temperate that you possessed.

You opened your eyes and he was gone. You clutch your keys as you slowly started the engine.

Lounging on your couch in your room, you kept replaying the kiss with Paul over and over again.

You didn't see him the next day. You felt deeply sad. You felt like a part of you was missing. You often touched your lips to see if he would appear. You whispered his name to see if he would magically appear.

You ran the woods and you hunted. The meaty animal that you sucked dry didn't bring you enjoyment. You found yourself coming to a realisation.

You missed Paul.

You camped out at your window to see if he would come when the night came.

He didn't.

It's been a full week since the kiss. Since you last saw him.

Daylight broke through and you hear the front door close. You sniffed the air and you zipped down the stairs.

"What are you doing here?" you ask with your arms crossed.

"Came to see if you were still alive...It smells funny in here."

"You smell funny." you shot back.

Edward only chuckled.

"I thought it was too dangerous for you to be here?" you ask.

"Bella doesn't know that I'm here and Im keeping it that way. I came to ease Alice's worries of your spotty future and now I'm leaving."

"Thank the lord." you say as you dramatically display prayer hands to the sky.

Edward smothered his entire hand on your face and you swat it away with a frown as he chortled. He was gone.

You were alone.

The night had fell.

In the middle of rereading a book, a knock sounded out. You close the book and rise to your feet.

You open the door.

Paul.

He had shorts and shoes on, but no shirt.

He lifted your chin up to meet his eyes.

"Up here."

You chuckle nervously.

"Am I allowed to come in?"

"Depends." you say as you crossed your arms.

"I didn't see you because I had my own stuff going on."

"Hm." you say.

He shifted on his feet, not letting up his stare at you.

"You're lucky you are cute." you grumble and move to the side to let him in. He smiled but it quickly retracted. He brought a hand to his nose before shaking his head.

"Ugh."

"What?"

"It fucking stinks." he says.

You look down.

He planted a soft smooch on your cheek. It made you smile warmly.

"Not you...Someone else has been here."

"Yeah. My brother, Edward."

“He fucking stinks.” He tells you. You bust out a laugh.

You take his hand and caress the back of his hand.

“I missed you.” you murmur to him.

His eyes softened.

“You did?”

You nod.

He cradled the side of your face with his hand. He leaned in and you reach his lips as you both fell into synchronicity.

You couldn’t help but bring him to you as you both held each other. He was strong. Feelings that you thought were impossible to feel, were bubbled out as you sigh out in contentment.

You felt dazed when you both separated so that he could breathe.

“Did you get a bed for me, yet?” He asked as his lip trailed to your neck.

“No.” You stutter, “I didn’t think I would see you again.”

“You’ll see me again.”

“Okay. I’ll get one for you for when you come over.”

He stared at you and the look made you stop breathing. You didn't have to, but he was so pleasant to look at.

"Does this tv work?" he asked as he flopped on the couch. The television was huge in his eyes and he grabbed the remote.

"It will if you turn it on." you tease and sit next to him.

"Very funny." he says snd you smile a bit as the television clicks on.

He put an arm around you to bring you closer.

"Why are you so stiff?"

"Im just...Nervous I guess." you admit.

"Well, relax." he tells you. You lean into his hold and you almost melt. You felt so warm. He was like your personal heater. The heat wasn't unbearable. It felt like you were on vacation. You hoped that it would be like this forever.

taglist:

@awkwardnesshabitat

@originalpersonafanwobbler

@hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere

@capswife

[starbop]

How SMELLY all the Honkai Boys are...

Here's my ranking of HSR boys based on how much I think they smell. Explanations + headcanons below the cut!

The Top Stinkers

Caelus literally digs through garbage for fun. I don't think I need to defend their spot as the #1 stinkiest mf in this whole game. 11/10 on the stink scale.

Sampo also has the energy of someone who enjoys garbage. I, for one, have no idea where that thing has been and I don't think I want to know. He is also known to hide in piles of snow when need be, meaning he's just out there rolling around on the ground sometimes. 10/10 would not sniff again.

Luka is the sweatiest man alive. But he looks SO good doing it. The sparks and smoke his arm produces, while very cool to look at, do not help his smelliness rating. 8/10 because he at least has good reasons for smelling funky.

I do not think Blade has ever taken a shower. You could fry a whole chicken with the oil from his hair. 9/10.

Boothill smells like a mixture of motor oil, grease, and sweat. Not a smell I would personally hate, but objectively not a good one. Yeehaw/10.

The Smelly

I feel like, in theory, you could smell like anything in the Dreamscape. I just also feel like Gallagher would not choose to smell good. 7/10.

I really want to believe that he'd smell good, but the second he finishes his magical girl transformation sequence, Imbibitor Lunae reeks with the smell of seaweed. I will deduct a stinky point from my initial rating because some people may think this smells good. They are wrong. 7/10.

Neutral Smelling

Yanqing should reek from all the time he spends fighting and training, but Jing Yuan is not letting that boy leave the house without taking a bath. 6/10.

Arlan bathes regularly, but I can't imagine him having a particularly strong smell. Asta will occasionally gift him some lightly scented soaps, though. If anything, he smells vaguely like Peppy. 5/10.

Gepard might get a little sweaty under all those layers, but he doesn't have a strong scent one way or the other. 4/10.

I Am Sniffing Respectfully

I just KNOW that the Astral Express has the nicest bathrooms in the universe. Dan Heng and Welt stay smelling FRESH. 3/10.

(Though Dan Heng has ended up smelling like bubblegum on a few occasions after borrowing March's shampoo...)

Misha smells like a sweet dream. I don't know what dreams smell like, but that's the only way to describe Misha's scent. Vaguely like cotton candy, perhaps. Ethereal/10.

Jing Yuan takes bubble baths with Mimi and you can NOT change my mind. I can totally picture him dozing off peacefully after a nice, warm bath. I-can-overlook-the-cat-hair/10.

We've seen Ratio take SO many baths at this point that I don't think you could find a single speck of dirt on that man's perfect body if you tried. How are his fingers not just permanently pruney? I hate him so much. 1/10.

I AM SNIFFING DISRESPECTFULLY

Argenti smells like roses and sunshine. 0/10 smelliness can I please bottle your sweat sir

Luocha has to smell great with all those flowers he summons. I would grind him down to make potpourri. Not sure about the coffin, though. -2/10.

And as for Aventurine? Cologne. SO much cologne. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to you, but he certainly has A Smell. Subjective/10.

[neil-gaiman]

look.. I know Uriel is supposed to be a bad guy and all that but Uriel is just so gf material. Like I would watch just like hours of Uriel being Uriel. Like I have a big fat stinky crush on Uriel. Like I would like to see Uriel do like Uriel things in further Uriel episodes ykwim?

(this may or may not be my not so subtle way of BEGGING you to give us more Uriel in season 3 pls)

I love what Gloria Obianyo brings to Uriel. I write Uriel as irredeemably awful and Gloria does something magical between the words and the delivery and Uriel comes across as competent and smart and fundamentally decent, to the point where you can almost forgive (or at least almost forget) Uriel's treatment of Aziraphale in Season 1.

[witherby]

Heyyy

Soo this is a random / weird question, so feel free to not answer it.

I was thinking about how kids need to be taught proper hygiene / how not to be stinky and traumatized kids sometimes aren't taught. How do you think the bats would talk to Punchline about hygiene while making her feel comfortable and not being mean? Or would've the Joker taught her?

Sorry this is long

I think the Joker, despite winning World's Worst Dad by a fuckin mile, would at least teach her basic hygiene. Man rocks around in color-coordinated suits and has a theme/image to maintain. A stinky little girl isn't gonna help him with that, and I don't think he'd want to smell her all the time either.

But let's play in the space a minute. Let's pretend he taught her the absolute barest minimum. Punchline will brush her teeth, but not longer than 20 seconds. Punchline will shower, but doesn't use soap, just rinses off and scrubs her body in a half-assed manner. She can kind of style her hair, but any severely tangled/matted sections just get cut away and the remaining hair styled to hide it; she doesn't know about detangling or conditioner or cutting off the split and dead ends. Dirty clothes get dunked in some water and the stains a minimal scrub, then dried and re-worn. So on and so forth.

Alfred notices this first. When he comes by to read to her some more, he watches her take the provided toothbrush, wet it with just water, lightly brush it against her teeth, and then put it down again. He restructures his visits to include little lessons as well as reading. Luckily, she is very receptive to following orders.

Alfred got her teeth situation handled — with no cavities in sight, because she simply doesn't eat enough for it to be a huge risk.

Dick, as the one with the best looks, gets her hair under control. She gets introduced to the magic of clarifying shampoo and hydrating conditioner. He also introduces her to deodorant and perfumes.

Damian, red-faced, is the closest to her in age, so he teaches her what body wash is for and the best application practices for it while he's in a pair of swim trunks.

Bruce reaches her how to do laundry, trim her nails, and how to change the sheets on the bed she doesn't use.

At this point, Jason doesn't see her as worth the effort, and she isn't receptive to Tim being around, so they don't contribute to this stage in her rehabilitation.

It takes a little bit of trial and error — her gums bleed every time she brushes for a few weeks until her mouth acclimates to routine care, and a washing machine had to be replaced entirely because she used way too much laundry soap — but soon Punchline can be found carefully brushing through her emerald hair and changing into a new set of clothes every single day.

[honeylations]

AERI UCHINAGA x FEM!READER

Prompt: You were dragged to a club for the first time to celebrate your birthday, and your loser ass didn’t think you’d pull the finest woman you’d ever seen

Warnings/Notes: g!p loser reader, virgin reader, unprotected sex, overstimulation

A/N: I think it was a crime for me to not have written a fic for my beloved Aeri yet. She’s bad as helllll 🤤

“Somi, I don’t like it here. Can we go?”

Your best friend snapped her head at you in bewilderment upon just reaching the bar to get you both alcoholic drinks - in which by the way, you have very little knowledge about.

The only alcohol you know is Soju, and that’s just because Somi brings bottles home for herself to chug.

“Y/n seriously? We just got here”

“It’s loud and stinky. I don’t know anyone here”

The foreign girl rolled her eyes and stood in front of you with a hand on her hip. “That’s the point of clubs, bestie. People come here to meet new faces or eat new faces”

You cringed at the last part.

“But we’re mostly here to celebrate your birthday okay? Plus, our friends are here”

“Who?”

Somi pointed at a vip booth in the corner where Natty, Julie, Belle, and Haneul were sharing a cheerful conversation between shots and cocktails.

You turned back to your best friend who magically had two glasses of vodka lemonade. “Let’s go”

Following Somi to the booth like a timid puppy, a few pretty ladies eyed you like candy, even giving you a flirtatious smile to which you bowed your head out of shyness.

You didn’t know it, but it was definitely your outfit pulling women like a magnet. You wore a black button up tucked in wide black slacks and a belt to hold it in place, matching your loafers.

Finally reaching your friends, Somi looked at you and sighed at seeing you had all your buttons popped in. “Y/n, what did I say about the buttons? You look like you’re going to church!”

“I’d rather be at church than this hell hole!”

“What’s the point of you getting tattoos when all you do is cover it up! Be a whore for once!” Your best friend hissed, releasing the top 3 buttons of your top, moving on to unbutton your sleeves to roll them up halfway.

“There. Much better, ain’t that right girls?” Somi smirked at her friends who hollered in agreement.

“Happy birthday, sexy Y/n!” Jennie screamed, waving the tequila bottle around.

“It’s my first time seeing you like this Y/n, you look great!” Belle complimented.

“Yeah so sexy~” Natty added after.

“I like your tattoos Y/n!” Haneul then had her share of compliments which got you blushing from their kind words.

“T-Thank you..”

“I take all the credit” Somi proudly stated and raised her glass. “To the unloserfication of Y/n!”

You all clinked your glasses and had a good amount of your beverage before Julie filled you a shot of tequila.

You gave her a deadpanned look.

“Grow up, Y/n. It’s time for you to try new things!”

Sighing in defeat, you took a deep breath and downed the shot, coughing afterwards from the burning taste. “I don’t know how you enjoy this. It’s horrible”

“It gets better when you have more, trust me!” Natty stepped in to pour you a row of shots.

“I don’t think I can do all that—“

“I’m not taking no for an answer. Go go go!”

Belle lightly shoved you forwards and within a few seconds, you had finished every shot glass Natty prepared, feeling the buzz through your entire body.

“I-I feel…so…so weird” You slurred, making the girls laugh.

“Drunk already Y/n? We haven’t even danced yet! Let’s go!!” Somi grabbed your hand and next thing you know it, your whole group where mixed in the messy crowd under the neon lights.

Everyone was enjoying the loud music while you stood there awkwardly in the middle, not realising you had lost your friends within the sea of drunk people. Even standing so tall at 173cm, you still couldn’t distinguish where they disappeared to.

You constantly looked around while staying on the spot, becoming uncomfortable at the unfamiliar bodies pressing against you.

That was until the most finest woman you had ever seen stood in front of you. It was clear that it was intentional from the way she started at you with such sultry eyes and a beautiful smile.

“Lost?” She leaned up to say in your ear from the loud music.

You just nodded with a pout.

The girl grabbed your hand. “Then stay with me. I’ll take care of you”

Being the loser you were, you nodded again. With that same pout.

“I’m Aeri!”

“I-I’m Y/n. Nice to meet you”

Aeri giggled and made you wrap your arms around her waist. “Don’t be so shy! Let’s party!”

“I don’t know how to dance!”

“Just feel the music Y/n!” Aeri cheered and made you sway your body with hers as she had her arms locked around your neck.

You got the hang of it eventually and then the music got more sexual, playing buttons by the pussycat dolls, affecting the atmosphere to grow hotter.

Aeri turned around and grinded her ass back into your front, surprising you entirely while you still held her waist. She looked back at you with a smirk, feeling how your grip tightened. “You like that, pretty girl?”

Seemed like you didn’t know how to speak anymore because all you could respond was a dorky nod. Aeri continued her bold ministrations but when a guy in front of her started reaching out to hold her hands, an icky feeling bolted through your veins, automatically making you pull Aeri close to your body.

The shorter girl got confused and titled her head around to question your sudden move. Then she saw the clear anger in your face as you gave an icy glare towards the strange man that reached for her a few seconds before. The man awkwardly walked his way out the situation, not willing to get his ass kicked by you.

“Jealous, puppy?”

Oh how the nickname made your dick twitch. Aeri really had an effect on you and you liked it a lot. The way she could easily hypnotise you into doing whatever she wanted.

“You promised you wouldn’t leave me”

Aeri chuckled and cupped your jaw to lean into your ear again. “Fuck you’re so cute. Let’s go somewhere more quiet hm?”

You were desperate to say yes immediately but then you remembered your friends. They’ll be worried sick. But then again, they ditched you first.

Even if Aeri was secretly some lesbian serial killer, at least it was a flex to be murdered by a hot woman who would surely wanna fuck first before plunging a knife through your neck.

You quickly reached for your phone and sent Somi a small message.

SAUR-MEE 🐀

[Gonna leave with a hot girl. Don’t wait up for me]

You saw her begin typing from her end but you locked your phone and slid in your back pocket before facing Aeri again.

“Good puppy” She kissed your cheek and started taking you outside the club while hand in hand.

“W-Where are we going?”

“My place. I’d rather fuck there than in a club”

Your heart jumped. You were gonna fuck Aeri? Yay!

Aeri let you inside her beautiful apartment and closed the door behind her once you stepped foot. She kicked off her heels, encouraging you to neatly place your shoes by her door.

“Come with me, cutie” She husked and walked you upstairs where her bedroom was, also locking you inside.

She stood close to you, running her hands over your exposed collarbones, seeing your tattoos underneath them. “Hmm…butterflies and roses?”

“M-My mom likes butterflies and roses”

Aeri let out a mixture of a sigh and chuckle. “You seem so innocent. A loser in a hot body”

Your ears went red. “Sorry. I’ve never done anything like this before. I don’t even like clubs and alcohol”

“Awe dear. Why were you at there then?”

“I-It’s my birthday and my friends wanted to celebrate it at the club”

Aeri tilted her head at you, her aura softening at your timid state. “Hey baby, we don’t have to continue this if you’re uncomfortable”

You blinked and quickly wrapped your arms around Aeri’s waist. “N-No! I wanna stay with you”

“Alright puppy, I’ll guide you through this okay?”

“Mhm”

The Japanese girl had one hand cupping your jaw, leaning up to plant a soft kiss at your lips. It felt so warm and you couldn’t help but tilt your head to kiss her deeper, even prodding your tongue inside.

It surprised Aeri so much she had to pull away, almost out of breath. “You said you’ve never done this before”

“I’ve never had sex, but I’ve kissed a few girls in my time” you smiled and it was probably the first smile Aeri got from you tonight.

You were a mixture of pretty and handsome. A combination Aeri liked.

“Well then, show me how much of a good kisser you are Y/n”

You leaned down again, going in with full tongue that for Aeri moaning. Her noises sounded better than the girls you’ve watched on porn, and it seemed to have a quick effect on you, noticing that your dick was getting hard.

“My, my, what do we have here?” Aeri giggled against your lips while palming your crotch.

“I-I’m sorry..c-can’t help it”

“Aw baby, don’t be so shy. I can’t wait to have all of you tonight”

You watched the Japanese girl unbutton the rest of your top that exposed your bra and the rock hard abs below it. You were now completely topless and Aeri took a moment to admire more of your tattoos that littered your forearms.

“So sexy” she husked.

You gulped under her lustful gaze and her next move of unbuckling your belt to undo your pants, making it pool by your feet. Your boner looked bigger underneath your black boxers and Aeri just had to keep rubbing it all over, enjoying the feeling of it twitch.

“A-Aeri…” you breathed out.

“Hm, I don’t think it’s fair that I still have everything on. Take a seat on my bed, cutie”

You did as you were told and Aeri began unzipping her tight dress, giving you a good show of her revealed skin when abandoned the item of clothing on the floor.

Her matching lingerie were removed next, and before you know it, she was on her knees in front of you, spreading your legs to lean in and kiss at your clothed cock.

You groaned with the sheets tight in your fists, letting Aeri finally pull down your boxers that your cock sprang free, slapping against your stomach.

The size made the girl freeze. “Shit, you’re huge”

“I-Is it okay?”

Aeri smiled and held the base of it, slowly stroking you. “It’s perfect. And hot. You got everything I need, puppy. Here’s my birthday gift for you”

You released a throaty moan when Aeri was brave enough to attempt in engulfing your entire length in one go, but she could only make it halfway.

“F-Fuck!”

The stretch in her jaw ached as she jerked off the remaining length she couldn’t take, making her gurgle. Aeri looked up at you in tears, however, your head was thrown back letting her saw your perfect jaw and how your Adam’s apple bobbed.

“Aeri..It feels so good, Aeri”

The girl released your cock with a loud pop, moving her body up to straddle your lap and kiss at your neck, aiming to leave plenty of marks.

She made sure to give your collarbone tattoos a kiss too.

“W-Why did you stop?” You whimpered, giving Aeri your puppy eyes.

“Seems fun having you stretch my mouth, but I’m so desperate and horny baby. Need your cock to stretch my pussy instead”

“O-Oh..but a condom—“

“Ever heard of a pill, Y/n? It’s so I can let handsome puppies like you breed me”

You felt a bit jealous knowing that Aeri had slept with other people, but hey, you were the epitome of a loser while Aeri was this smoking hot woman that could pull the entire club as if she was a magnet.

Still though, after tonight you probably don’t want to be sleeping with anybody else.

“Hey, why so quiet?” Aeri’s soft voice called as she tilted your head up by the chin.

“Nothing…Is it safe to continue?”

“You know, people usually shut up and plunge their dick inside me until I cry. You’re different…So gentle with women as if they’ll break easily”

You rubbed Aeri’s waist, letting her words sink in. “That’s because I care alot. The last thing I want is to hurt you…plus we’ve established that I’m a virgin so I don’t think it would be a good move to just plunge my dick inside you until you cry” you giggled while mocking her words.

“So sweet. I’ll make sure you won’t stop thinking about me and how good I make you feel”

You licked your lips and felt Aeri grabbing your cock to line it with her entrance.

“I-I already felt like that the moment I laid eyes on you” you smoothly said, not knowing where this rizz came about.

“A-Ah!…God, you’re a sweet talker aren’t you?” Aeri gasped when she started to sit herself down on your huge cock.

She hid her face in your neck, wincing here and there as she sank lower. It took a whole minute for her to finally be sitting in your lap, practically impaled by you. “Hah…god it hurts so good, puppy”

You didn’t say anything as Aeri placed a flat palm in the centre of your chest and forcefully pushed you down on your back. She began moving her hips at a slow pace, delicious moans ripping out her lips and gradually moving faster until you could hear your skin slapping together.

“Y/n! I feel so full oh god!”

“Aeri, holy shit you’re so tight!” You hissed.

The intense pleasure had your hands automatically roaming around Aeri’s ass, squeezing the soft flesh and digging your nails into it as she rode your cock desperately.

This entire experience of getting laid opened your eyes a little bit to what you’ve been missing out on. If going to the clubs and drinking some shitty alcohol meant getting a hot girl riding your dick, then you might as well become a Somi 2.0. But what would it mean if you only wanted Aeri and no one else?

“This cock is mine puppy…hah…I want you to fucking belong to me. No one else can have you” Aeri moaned which was close to a growl.

You leaned up to kiss and suck at her big tits, enjoying the way they’d bounce in front of your face each time she rocked into your dick. Aeri moaned louder, holding your head close to her chest and muttering praises of how good you were making her feel.

“I want you to cum in me, Y/n! Please make me your cum dump, baby”

The vulgar words were like magic and made your eyes roll back with each motion of her tight pussy sucking you in. You laid back and got a good grip on Aeri’s ass to force her hips faster, then eventually thrusting your own hips up to meet her halfway.

Aeri lost her energy and laid on top of you while you used her like a fuck doll, the slight curve in your cock made her cry. “Oh f-fuck y/n, I’m cumming baby! Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop!”

On cue, Aeri screamed out your name and gushed her wetness all over your lower body, blabbering incoherent words in your ear and laying limp in your arms.

But your movement didn’t stop.

You were chasing for your own orgasm, not caring that the girl on top of you had already reached her climax and pushing her through over sensitivity.

So much for being gentle.

“W-Wait baby, a-ah!!”

You were panting like a mad dog in Aeri’s neck, licking and biting her skin, practically drilling your cock inside her hole. “Mmm so good so good Aeri. I love the way you feel around my cock…”

Your words made her cum a second time, hitting a lot stronger than the first.

“Fuck too tight!” You growled, the bubbling pit in your stomach had hit its high, releasing ropes after ropes of your thick cum inside the Japanese girl.

“Oh fuck Aeri!”

You relaxed into the mattress and caressed the girl’s back as you both tried to catch your breath. Sweat dripped down your bodies, filling the bedroom with intense heat, and your mind was slowly coming back from the clouds.

“How was that for your first fuck?” Aeri spoke with a grin.

You suddenly turned back to your shy self when you avoided eye contact. “I-I liked it”

She squished your cheeks until your lips pouted, leaning up to kiss it repeatedly. “That’s a thank you for fucking my brains out”

You didn’t say anything, clearly too shy and fucked out to even form a sentence.

“Hey Y/n…” Aeri called again, and this time you actually looked into her pretty eyes.

Wow, everything about her is pretty.

“Hm?”

“Usually after bringing people home to sleep with, I’d expect them out the house by early morning. But with you…” Aeri stopped her sentence to examine your face.

“I want you stay” she simply finished, tracing your lips with her thumb.

You reassured her with a smile.

A handsome smile.

You took her hand and kissed the back of her palm. “Let me treat you breakfast tomorrow. How does that sound?”

“Wow I didn’t expect that. Not only are you a loser in a hot body, but you also treat girls out to food after fucking the life out of them”

“Mmm I’m only willing to do it for pretty girls like you”

“Oh so you’ve taken out other girls before?”

“Uhhh no. You can be my first”

Aeri snuggled into your neck and chuckled. “I like the sound of that”

You let a beat pass before you tapped her shoulder. “I’m still inside you by the way”

“Ever heard of cockearming?”

[11rosebunny]

Things you do that he finds cute (BOFURIN)

Haruka Sakura

Snorting. He's a bit of an odd ball for that but he finds it cute the way your face slightly lights up and how you try to maintain from bursting out laughing, he like's seeing you happy.

What's even more weirder, he likes it when your focusing on something and you end up doing a small habit of yours without even thinking about it (biting your nail, playing with your hair, finger tapping, nodding your head to music, etc).

Since he has trouble speaking sometimes, his go to is to just admire you.

Hajime Umemiya

Screaming. He finds it absolutely hilarious and cute whenever you're startled and you let out a scream or a yell which is usually followed by a punch of someone who scared you purposely.

He's very annoying and likes it when you're shy with him around. The feeling that he was able to make you go red by just a subtle thing makes him chant to the sky in his head.

Even so, he equally enjoys it when you're babbling about something that you're very interested in.

Toma Hiragi

Really loves it when you laugh softly, it brings out the pretty nature you hold in which he doesn't understand why you hide it from other people. So when finally coming across you laughing, something swells in his heart seeing you cheerful.

Grabbing a piece of his clothing and pulling it to get his attention. For whatever reason, it makes him go crazy to the point where he starts throwing bananas all over the place in his head. If you ever do that, don't be surprised if he magically picks you up and squishes you to death (he probably won't do that but he thinks of that whenever you drive him crazy).

Ren Kaji

When you're quiet.

Even though your relationship ship is extremely wonky, because of living next to each other and being in Highschool, the two of just slightly matured with each other.

He will never admit this but he likes seeing you put up a good fight, even if it's against him hence why he'll never admit it.

Taiga Tsugeura

Rambling about total nonsense. If you're the type of go onto unethical topics that pretty much have no importance to anything, seeing the way you're so interested and deep into the conversation makes him feel like it's also interesting.

If you're walking together and you hold onto his arm, he will forget how to breathe.

Aside from that, he loves it when you support his stinky gym life.

Hayato Suo

Laughing audibly. An absolute sucker for making you laugh, even if it's not intended.

Since you are the one who's more cheeky and open than him, he finds it cute in the way you willingly immerse yourself in his types of interests even though he can already tell you're not going to like them as much.

If you're stuck on something, it makes him so happy that you go to him first about advice, makes him feel needed for you!