#cant get better if i dont practice etc

[xagave]

One of the things I'd like to do more of in 2023 is write more fic maybe. I'm not great at it and end up orphaning most of the stuff I write but like. Gotta feed myself in these times lol

[autisticlee]

no one knows just how hard I work at things. how I have to work 1000000x more than the average person to compensate for being autistic and adhd and probably other things i'm working out with therapist, and having a sort of physical disability i've not received any help or treatment for. everyone assumes I don't try or give up too soon. they think I just started, need more practice. they think I expect everything handed to me immediately with no work or effort and don't acknowledge the multiple years i've put into things. they think I have no right to be upset about still failing to get where I want even after working my entire life to get there, while watching people around me surpass even my meager goals within a fraction of the time and work i've out into the same thing. constantly getting surpassed by everyone around me who seem to barely do any work to get there compared to me. it's all handed to them and falls into their lap so easily. all because they don't have the extra obstacles to overcome and work around that I do. while they go from point A to Z immediately with no major stops in between, I have to go through every single letter and then some, often getting sent back to the start. but it's always *my* fault, according to everyone. it's not the fault of those around me who ignore me, don't support me, don't help me, don't believe in me, etc. it's my fault they don't do those things. because doing the work of 10 people in one isn't enough, just because it's me. and not reaching Z as fast as everyone else means I don't deserve any of the support or help or anything else and means i'm not trying hard enough. it doesn't matter that I *need* to work harder than 100 "normal" people combined to get even half the result! Just because I can't reach what they do means i'm not trying hard enough! ugh.

[snekdood]

ppl who larp about the Revolution™ almost seem to expect someone *else* to take the leading role in it all so they can sit inside on their asses and do jack shit, they know they have no meaningful skills to offer and would only slow people down, but expect to *somehow* magically radicalize most americans into doing all the work for them because awww dey're just such a weak wittle babu that needs to be pwotected and defwended awlways uwu

like. come on. get a grip. if everything went your way and someone actually stronger than you came along to take the lead, you're likely not being invited, and you'll likely be left behind... which means left to the alt right, who will no doubt come to your house to see if you're perpetuating anything "woke", and you gotta know they wont just ask, they'll barge in and look through everything even your computer.

though, you should really focus on your plan. your first step: get along with people enough to even actually convince them its a good idea, and we all know you'll never dare to try that shit. you cant even be on here w/o blocking someone like me for even suggesting you are approaching this like a child playing war and you have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

you think you want a second holocaust (which is essentially letting trump win, i mean hitler got the majority vote in germany. thats how he rose to power. didn't just materialize out of thin air), but you dont seem to grasp the gravity of what that entails, or even that you'd be thrown in the camps with everyone else, all to stick it to jewish ppl and "the libs", even if it means you and all the ones you love die along with them. you are a net negative to humanity and quite frankly should be on a fucking watch list.

[astro-inthestars]

YOOOOOOO WE FUCKIN DID IT!!!! YEAHHH!! We slayed SOOO well!! EVERYONE DID!! The other sections were SO FUCKING GOOD i LOVED it!!! And like, we won first place or whatever i didnt care about that really BUT WE ALL DID GREAT!

Anyways, just got home from my pal's birthday party (more like Hang Out at the mall, we ate out) it was AWESOME! First time inside a Starbucks, and first order ALL ON MY OWN! (HELL YEAH RELIGIOUS REBELLION!!)

[maretriarch]

my issue is i spread myself too thin i get a lot of fun highly ambitious ideas that I start in very short succession and get them done about halfway until the short time reward joy runs out and then end up with a pile of projects like this

[tvonq]

woah…u can defo tell when a musician has never played with anyone else

[pixxiies]

anything for an A+ .

pairing ;; professor!matt x student!fem!oc

warnings ;; SMUTTTT🤞🤞 , age gap (matt is 27 reader is 22), cursing , making out , oral (m receiving) , p in v , fingering , unprotected sex (pls dont!!) , pet names (princess, sweetheart, etc) , lowercase intended and thats it!

a/n ;; pls bare w me im too shy to write on here but first smut post i hope yall likey!!! this is for my baby kitten whiskers; @mattsluttywaist and @cheetahmadi 🥳🥳 also this looked better in drafts

pink: you

blue: matt

. . . . .

“remember, no talking during the test.” was what pulled me out of the trance that i was in. i blinked as i noticed that i was staring at my professor for the entire time he talked about the test we were about to take. professor matthew was walking around the class to give everyone the papers.

“if i catch you talking, i will invalidate your test.” i let out a loud sigh as he placed the paper infront of me, remembering me of the last time that i accidentally spoke during an exam and it led me to get a zero. “yes sir.” i picked up my pencil from my pencil case and started to write my name.

a few hours felt like 10 minutes when my professor said that time was up. i looked down at my test for it not to be completed. “fuck.” i mumbled under my breath. my fingers flipped through the pages to see how many questions i had left. many students had started to walk down to the professors desk to turn it in, soon i was the last student in the class.

“ms. stallord, i said time was up.” he spoke, walking up to my desk. i groan and slouch into my chair. “sir, please is it okay if i finish this after school? i cant afford to fail.” i pout as i looked up at him, his arms crossed with his sleeves rolled up. the brunette shook his head, trying to think of something.

“lets do this.” matt said as he grabbed the packet of paper and walked back to his desk, signaling for me to follow him. i swallowed the lump in my throat while walking close enough to him that i could smell his cologne.

i watched him sit down in his desk and taking out what i assumed was the packet with the answers. the classroom remained quiet for a few minutes, the brunette probably grading what i had done. “C-“ he finally spoke up. i roll my eyes and let out a frustrated whine. “seriously??” matt took off his glasses, “its still passing.” he shrugged. i bit my bottom lip and let it bounce back as i thought. “is there anything i can do at all for extra credit?” i asked, tilting my head to the left and taking a seat next to his desk matt let his glasses on top of his head and pressed his fingers against his mouth. “hmmm, not that i know of, i dont think there is sweetheart.” he replied calmly. my heart skipped a beat as he called me sweetheart in such a way. “i would do anything sir. i cant have my mom know i got a C- on this exam.” i was practically begging at this point. “you got that grade because you didn’t finish the test, probably because you were looking at me. that correct?” he asked me, his head tilting to the side with a cocky smirk spread on his lips. i blinked rapidly when i heard what he had said. but to make it worse, he wasn’t lying. i wasn’t even looking, i was staring. “s-sorry what sir?” i muttered quickly. “you really don’t think i notice ms. stallord?” he chuckled a little bit. i stayed quiet, my cheeks a pink hue.

“now that i pointed it out, you stay silent huh?” matthew stated, his eyebrow raised ever so slightly. “no thats not it um.” i spoke quietly. “i don’t really mean to stare its just that uhm. you are very attractive.. sir.” the sentences left my mouth in a sheepish shaky tone. he laughed quietly to my embarrassment. “dont worry about it. i dont mind.” the brunette said, adjusting his seat so he was closer to me now. god i wanted to kiss him so bad. “o-oh okay, im glad sir.” i replied quietly, my eyes flickering to his lips and my tongue licking my lips to rehydrate them. “please, call me matt.” he mumbled, looking at my eyes then my lips. i listened to my gut and leaned in for a kiss, surprisingly getting one from him back.

my eyes fluttered shut, my heart pounding against my chest as my hands found their way to his loose brunette locks that i messed with slightly. matt nibbled on my bottom lip before sliding his tongue into my mouth. i whined softly, now somehow getting ontop of his lap. my legs were now wrapped around his hips and my hands rested on his shoulders. goosebumps covered each piece of skin matt had been touching. i felt one of his hands slide underneath my shirt, i shivered slightly at how cold his hand actually was.

his mouth detached from mine and he started to leave wet open mouthed kisses along my jawline and neck. small moans come out of my mouth as he did so, my hand trailed up to his head and i started to scratch his scalp gently. “will this make up the C-, sir?” i asked in an innocent tone as i looked down at him. “if you kneel for me, perhaps.” matt whispered, letting go of my hips and resting his hands back on the arm rests. i smirked with an obedient nod as i slid off of his lap and in between his legs. i kneeled in between his clothed thighs, my hands sliding up and down on them softly. i unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down and threw them somewhere in the classroom.

matt was left in his light grey boxers that had a small dark stain from his pre-cum on them. my fingers hooked around the waistband of his boxers and i pulled them down. his 7.4in slapped my face lightly as soon as i took off his boxers.

my mouth began to practically drool as soon as i saw him fully. i wrapped my cold palm around his base firmly and stroked him slowly. i made sure to make my thumb slide right through his slit.

“fuckk.” he whined, looking down at me. i looked up at him with innocent doe eyes as my hand began to stroke him up and down a bit more quicker now. i kissed his tip before taking him entirely in my mouth.

i felt his hand turn down to my hair, he grasped it and made it into a makeshift ponytail. my tongue slid over the head of his cock as i bopped my head up and down. i heard a string of swears pouring out of matt’s name while he began to thrust his ups upward. “fuck fuck yes yes.” the brunette groaned out. he started to twitch in my mouth which told me that he was getting close. soon enough, he spewed his cum down my throat. his cock left my mouth with a wet pop. i rubbed off any of his white liquid that was on my mouth. “you did so well.” he purred, i kissed his tip one last time and earning a small whine from him.

i stood back up and before i could say anything, he grabbed me and sat me down on his lap. “oh princess im not done with you.” the brunette said, placing his hands on my hips. my core was begging for any sort of friction.

matt’s hand slid underneath my skirt, his thumb rubbed over my clothed clit gently. a small whine left my lips as i tried to balance myself by having my hands on his shoulders. he hooked his slender fingers on my panties and he pushed them to the side. “your so wet already sweetheart.” he cooed, his fingers tracing my entrance. “dont tease.” i begged with my eyes fixating onto his face. matt tilted his head to the side as he slowly shoved his digits inside of my cunt.

his fingers slid easily in and out of me, they curled against my g-spot occasionally. i bit my bottom lip to hold back my small whimpers as i clenched around him. “oh shit.” i breathed out, my head leaning back slightly. matt thrusted his fingers in and out while the familiar knot started to form in my stomach. his slender digits continued to stab my pussy, but before i could finish on them he slid them out. “why’d you stop?” i pout with a small whimper. “not letting you finish just yet sweetheart.” matt spoke softly as he aligned his tip with my cunt.

before anything else, he slowly thrusted into me. as soon as he was inside of me, i made sure to squeeze around him perfectly. “tell me when i can move.” the brunette whispered so i could get a chance to adjust to his size. matt’s finger tips grazed my hips gently, his eyes fixated on my face. “o-okay.” a shaky moan left my lips. with no hesitation, he started to thrust in and out of me.

i leaned my head back when his tip kissed my sweet spot within every thrust. matt rested his hands against my hips a bit more roughly as he rutted his hips into mine. god he was so deep inside of me. i guess i was being a little bit too loud that caused matt to shove two of his fingers down my throat. “gotta be quiet baby.” he whispered, still plunging himself into my wet core. i coated his digits with my salvia, using the opportunity to do so. “m’so close sir.” i whine out when matt slid his fingers out of my mouth. his tip stabbed my cervix a few more times before the knot in my stomach started to form again. i felt him twitching inside of me, letting me know that he was about to cum again. “cum for me sweetheart.” he moaned out as his hips began to stutter into mine.

after a few more thrusts, i came all over his cock. it wasn’t too long before matt came deep inside of me ether. he fucked me through our high before he pulled himself out. “so, can i get an A+ now?” i asked with a small smirk spread on my face. “yes, you can sweetheart.”

. . . . .

a/n part 2: i started writing this at 4am and i finished at 4pm 😭😭 sorry if this isnt that good i hate writing fics publicly 😕

[hugs2doie]

nct dream spotting you in their concert .

anon’s request: hi!! i just found your account and omg i love it so much <33!! i was wondering if i could request a fic/headcanon about surprising nct dream on tour 👉🏻👈🏻🥺 like maybe surprising one of them after the concert, one of them spotting you in the crowd, etc ^^

genre: fluff

warnings: none

nini’s notes: rhis is so short im sorry i didne havw muxh ideas on this 😓 but thbak u anon i love u anf i hope u liek this :333

⌗ mark

he’d be so excited byw

he’d gasp and allat

most of the times he’d be around your area just to see you

it would be without realizing too so the other members would literally push him/drag him away 😭

like poor boy wants to havw his eyes on you the whole time

but dating rumors and the idol industry 😡😡

would gush to his teammates abt u visiting and stuff like that later

afterwards he’d tell his manager or smth to ask you to stay so yall can spend timw :((

would probably just listen to you talk and giggle or smile big when u tell him how proud ure of him

⌗ renjun

would be very surprised

wave at the fans in your area to not make it seem like it was just for you

when singing some of the cute lyrics he’d glance at you 💔

would bring his other members on your area so when he passes more often he won’t be as suspicious (work smarter not harder)

would love seeing your reactions omg

and ur eyes better be on him the whole time

or else he’ll be calling you out after you meet!!

would take a video of the whole crowd and slow down at ur area

for the memories and how u surprised him in his concert yk

would ofc love the feedback <3

⌗ jeno

POOKIEEEEE HE’D SMILE SOO BIGGG

he would probably tell jaemin and he’d smile at you too

jaemin would also the one to remind him of reality if he stares at you for a long time

or stays in your area for a long time ofc

would show his abs/reveal his body more than usual

he’d get shy abt it later on though

boy how much he wants to stare at u for the whole concert :(

but he can’t!!! so he does other things to involve u and stuff

like taking pics of the crowd (OBVIOUSLY with u in it)

loves u sm and cant wait to meet u later so u can tell him abt ur exprience

⌗ haechan

this little shit bye

would do the sexiest thing EVER

then turn to see your reaction and if ure surprised or anything like that he’d have that proud smirk

ANDDD HE’D DEF TEASE U LATER ONNNN

he’d be more energetic on stage and wants to give 100% of him

he wants to impress u sm (which he does ofc), hes like a little high school boy for u

he’d be extra touchy w/ renjun & the other members to make u “jealous”

which the members (and u) notice and just burst out laughing

idk i’d be a fun experience

oh and u better only look at him or he’ll give u a sassy attitude when u two meet

⌗ jaemin

love eyes

and id mean it like his pupils would grow and all that

if u brought signs he’d read them out loud so it would seem like ure just a fan

and if u brought plushies AND are close to the stage??? he’s getting ur plushies first!!

will be VERY focused on the performances cause he knows that u distract him (for good like he loves u)

but he also wants to be amazing for u <3

would love if u hyped him up (u better lol…)

or if u sang along like he’d be so happyyyy

he wants u to enjoy the concert sm

he loves that u surprised him like a lottt

all that practice payed off bcz you’re there in the crowd <3

not that he doesn’t appreciate your support just by words too btw

⌗ chenle

idk why i feel like he’d know abt it

i dont have anythint specific abt it its just how i feel like he’d def know somehow

so if he spotted u in the crowd he’d have like a happy and proud smile like yawppp i knew it!!!

but would be so happyyy

after any performance or anything he’d do he’d look back to u to see if u liked it or not

would also pretend like ure not there sometimes cause jaemin pulled him aside and told him that he were taking MANY glances in your way HELP

so for some mins he stopped even looking ur way 😭 let alone go in that area

would bring jisung along later but would not tell him that ure there cause jisung would make it pretty obvious

you’re a big distraction to him 😓

(he loves that but he would never tell u)

⌗ jisung

theres the thing

he’d either

1) stay around ur area ALL the time

2) not even glance in ur direction

HE’S SCARED THAT HE’LL GIVE IT AWQY THAT URE THERE FASTTT

but if u guys havent seen e/o for a long time he’d pass most of his time there

however would ask for advice to his other members and often ask them if its too obv that he’s starring at u a bit too much

AND A BIT TOO LONG???

also he’d either

1) get super shy (stan new jeans)

2) be the opposite and get his sexy on (pls tell me yall know what song im talking abt)

but both things would get reactions out of u and that’s exactly what he wants :3

[angelicgirlmj]

hey! <3

so, i have 2 questions, i dont want to pressure u tho ♡ first of all, been struggling with motivation to do my workouts/go to the gym and meditations recently becuase im a high key procrastinater and cant seem to stop, do you have any tips on how to keep motivated? xx

And second, i do a lot of class presentations at my school and constantly struggle with them, because of an ongoing anxiety about reading in front of others. apart from the fact I'm quite antisocial and have a couple of friends so i dont know ppl very well, i can't seem to find confidence, do you know any ways i can develop better social skills when it comes to public reading/speach? xxx tysm

hi angel! you sound so kind - of course i am so happy to answer your asks! ill break it up into two parts to help make it a little clearer and easier to read.

gym/meditation motivation: the first step is carving out time in your day for these and starting small. it’s pointless thinking okay ill do half an hour of meditation and two hours of working out a day if you dont have the time/energy to do that! instead make the time to begin your day with five minutes of meditation and try and do half an hour of working out, you can always build up the amount of time but you will feel better and more motivated if you are able to meet your goals and then expand them as opposed to feeling bad and shrinking them if you struggle to meet them. secondly i would say find workouts that appeal to you and are fun! dance, pilates and weightlifting are some of my favourite solo workouts but group workouts are so fun and you can experiment and find workouts that appeal to you. also if you like guided meditations try and find ones that interest/deeply calm you to make them more fun to follow. thirdly romanticise your workouts! create cute playlists, gym outfits, buy a cute yoga mat, do your hair and buy a pretty waterbottle. this will help you feel more encouraged and comfortable to workout and also feel way more of a fun event as you dress up etc. finally! reward yourself. after an hour of working out give yourself an hour of screen time, buy a cute drink, if you hit your monthly workout goal amount buy some jewellery or get a present for yourself. rewarding yourself and taking the time to look after your body and mind will help you feel more motivated.

2. this is a bit of a tricker question but hopefully i am able to help even a little bit. firstly you could try practicing reading presentations/work aloud. start by reading it to yourself until you feel confident pronouncing all the words and the speed you feel confident speaking at. then read to a trusted member of family or a friend and ask for feedback or improvements that you can adapt and hopefully feel better and more confident in your speech afterwards. secondly joining some kind of club/activity that requires you to speak could be very useful, for example a drama or debate club, even if you arent super active as a member or choose to do a more casual kind of group, being in a setting where public speaking is encouraged could help you feel more confident! thirdly watching/listening to speeches and body language of people doing public speaking or giving speeches can be really useful and help you focus on what you might need to improve on. finally while it seems difficult try and remember that almost every person in the room is also nervous about public speaking and reading aloud, they may just not show it. you arent the only person who struggles with this, so many people get anxious about public speaking and you should be able to feel better and more confident about it with time!

hopefully this has helped you! good luck, you sound so kind and lovely, im sure that with time you will feel better and more confident. love, m.

[askata]

Noury (she/her), Noony_Boony on twitter.

Noury is one of the thousands Palestinians injured by the Israel military, and one of the hundreds of thousands of Palestinians that has suffered because of the Israeli occupation.

If the genocide, the death and destruction of *lives*, hasnt been enough to speak out about Palestine, youre no better than the monsters and villains in history.

Noury wont be able to draw, as she said in her post. She was an artist, she is a person, and shes suffering more than some of us could even imagine.

Noury needs surgery, desperately. However, shes not able to get it. Theres little, if any, medicine in gaza, including pain medication and surgical supplies. Theres no water, even dirty, to wash out the wounds.

Because most Palestinians go days without eating, their energy is practically nonexistent. Their bodies cant heal wounds like normal, they keep bleeding because their bodies are too weak, and their internal systems cant fight infection. I have hope for Noury, but her body likely isnt strong enough to fight by itself.

Remeber that its not just Noury thats suffering, many have died because of their wounds, and many are suffering from things we wouldnt even think about in our daily life. Lice, chicken pox, etc.

Dont stop calling and texting your representatives, keep showing up to protests, be loud, be disruptive, and boycott no matter how they pretend to change. Lives are taken every day, even one post can call attention to it.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

[laithraihan]

Would you be comfortable sharing any personal info (age, profession, relationship status, etc...)? Completely understand if you're not but it's always really interesting learning about the lives of ppl I admire. Again, if that's not something you wanna do it's totally understandable! I love your art!!

Ah thank you so much 🫶 and sure I dont mind sharing some stuff but to be very honest Im not an interesting person, so I'm sorry in advance for disappointing you.

So I'm a woman (or something like that) even though I use a male pen name for art, Im 22 years old, 151cm (4'11"), the eldest daughter who has two teenage siblings who are both taller than me and make fun of me for being short. I do not have a profession and I do not go to school due to a disability I will not disclose. Im a lesbian engaged to a butch, we've been together for almost 4 years (our anniversary is in August)

My favorite season is winter because all the bugs are dead and I despise summer because the bugs are alive. Im also really scared of butterflies for some reason. Im scared of winged bugs in general. Ive never seen a cockroach in my life but I'd probably kill myself if I saw one. I really hate bugs. The winters are harsh here but I like walking outside when theres light snow falling at night. Im also a bit obsessed with Christmas lights but I dont celebrate Christmas, I dont follow any religion in general but my family is Muslim so Ive been raised with that. If I could just put Christmas lights in my room all year then I would do that. They look really pretty.

About my ethnicity I think everyone knows Im Algerian already, well Ive only been to Algeria once when I was like 8 years old so I dont really remember anything. All I know is that my uncle would keep telling my dad that I convinced him to stop smoking and that he's eternally grateful for that but I literally cannot remember what I did or said back then so I just pretended I knew what he was talking about. Anyway. Id like to go there again one day. I most likely will go soon in the future so it makes me happy to think about it.

My first language is French and Im somewhat fluent in English but it needs more work. Whenever I speak English I have to think harder about the words that come out of my mouth and I start saying things that dont make sense. But my pronunciation is good so other people just assume Im fluent. Also I understand Derja (Algerian Arabic) when people talk to me out loud but I cant form sentences and respond back so I just answer people in French. I know how to read Arabic script and I understand basic words but again I cant form sentences. As for Japanese I can only read Hiragana and Katakana and a bit of Kanji, and my understanding of the language is worse than Arabic, so I practice by translating Japanese song lyrics, reading news articles and talking with Japanese users online

Honestly I dunno what else to say, I dont really have any special skills or anything like that. Unless you count memorizing all the metro stations in Montreal but thats only because I had to use public transport all the time when I was a kid because my parents never felt like driving me to my appointments. At that point I probably visited every single station because I had to go to many random places. I dont have a drivers license but I prefer walking to places in general even though there are no stores near my neighborhood, but I think it's better for me because I get to walk more. I think I really like the idea of travelling in general but I dont have friends for that, my parents also wouldnt allow me to hang out with friends so it's a bit unfortunate

Oh and lately Ive been enjoying making eggs for some reason, I think Im good at doing that. But I only cook whenever Im hungry and I rarely feel hungry so I dont cook many eggs. I also dont like cleaning dishes so I avoid making huge meals in general. I dont really eat much in the first place but I still like food. I really like going to restaurants too. I just like going outside in general. I like listening to music and talking with people, normal stuff like that. Im running out of things to say so I'll probably just stop there.

[spacelazarwolf]

i just keep thinking abt how that guy said "its transphobia and misogyny. let your experiences unite you with cis women, trans women, and enbies, not separate you"

and like idk its like we can't use transmisndry/transandrophobia/atm/etc bc its transmisogynistic. but we also cant use transmisogyny bc thats only for trans fems and trans women. but we cant use misogyny either bc we're not women. like you said it doesnt matter what word(s) we use or even if we don't use any words at all, they still get mad at us.

but also, why does us trying to give a name to our experiences separate us from those groups? all of those groups can experience atm in various ways. why is it that using the term transmisogyny does not separate trans fems from those groups? why does using the term exorsexism does not separate enbies from that group? (assuming these people even agree exorsexism exists, some of them dont)

and the assumption that all of those identities listed are completely separate really bothers me. all of those can and do overlap. how can i as a transfemmasc multigender enby, separate myself from those groups by describing some of my experiences, when i AM those groups?

(im not going to even bother with the fact that cis men weren't included, we already know why)

imo it's because the idea that women (and people they can group in with women) forming separatist groups and separating themselves from MenTM is actually feminist and girlboss and just Protecting Them From Their Oppressors, whereas any other group doing it (not even just men as a group, but i see this shit happen to jews, black people, indigenous people, people with closed practices, etc.) is just trying to make themselves feel special or they think they're better than everyone else. also people just still straight up do not believe trans men are oppressed.

also it's particularly hilarious bc like. so much conversation around anti transmasculinity is about the fact we share a lot of experiences with both cis women and trans women. i can't tell you how many butch cis women, intersex people, and trans women and femmes have expressed to me that they have experienced something similar to what i describe in my posts. and the thing is, we have been talking about this kind of thing in queer circles for forever. we've talked about how butches are demonized because of their masculinity, we've talked about how trans women are forced to present as feminine as possible so as not to be seen as a threat, we've talked about how nonbinary people who were assigned male at birth and choose to present more masculine are demonized and stripped of their identity. but putting a name to it means there's a systemic problem in our community, not just Problematic Individuals Who Are Bad Who Are Totally Not Us So We Don't Need To Unpack Any Of Our Biases Uwu.

[arsenicosises]

things to do when u realize u feel shitty

so i have alexithymia (emotional blindness or challenges in recognizing, expressing, sourcing, and describing one's emotions) and i often dont realize why, whats causing me to feel that way, or even if its mental or physical shittiness. so here are things i try to do to reset.

so the first step is obviously realizing the feeling at first, is your brain making you feel bad about yourself? do you feel like theres no point in doing things? do you feel stuck? or has there been any drastic change in energy in a short time? these may look different for you, but learning to notice even something as small as do i feel Good or Bad, you dont need to get caught up in what specifically it is.

FIRST and foremost, medications. did you take your meds? vitamins? please do so if you can. if you've missed the time window that you are meant to or cant for another reason, no guilt please, its ok we all forget.

move! change locations. even if its just where you are sitting in bed from one side to the other and sit up if you can. i try to move to my desk chair. sometimes just sitting up can change the way you feel drastically.

this could also mean move as in take a walk around your room, stand up on your phone instead of laying down.

do a Task, or Activity. copy a journal spread from pinterst even if it takes like 3 hours. write some lists, make a bracelet, play a game. focus on something you like. very cliche advice i know but its great to allow yourself to do something you like.

get a snack/water. unfortunately hydration is important even tho its annoying. make it super cold, put some lemon or mint in there if you want. its all about making it a) more fun and b) different sensory experiences. if you are hungry go down a mental list of most to least effort meal and find what you can do (cook from sratch, add stuff to ramen, eat it plain, get a handful of nuts or fruits, etc)

open the curtains/blinds, let the outside in a bit. even if its dark out open them and look around and close again.

face feels gross? do some level of skincare, exfoliate your lips and put on some vasesline, brush and floss your teeth (love floss picks). if you have bangs wash them in the sink.

if weather + mental permits, go outside. even for 2 seconds to look at it

shower=full reset and rebirth. not a bath, a shower. let the water hit you and soak your hair. do as full of a shower as you can. use so much moisturizer (if you can) with a scent you love. sensory goodness is very helpful. this usually works for me to pull me out. often the reason why i feel shitty is actually just me not realizing my hair is dirty, or i need alone time, etc which is acheived by showering.

aligned with that, put on new clothes, either comfortable and lounge clothes that are good sensory, or you need a new fun outfit because you have been wearing the current one for too long and its irritating you in a way you dont notice.

clean something, same as the food go from most to least effort and find out what you can do. organize 1 drawer or your whole house. my go to is usually rearraging my bedside table top and drawer. because for me thats where i keep things like my journal, headphones, letters from friends, body butter, etc its a chance for me to help future me access this little self care station.

make your bed so you have a clean cozy place to lay and sit, unfortunately a made bed is more comfortable

in general, treat yourself like a littel guy, talk to yourself like a toddler even if it feels silly, the part of you that feels bad is basically a toddler throwing a tantrum tbh. silliness is often a precursor to feeling Good. these things feel so so hard but each time you do them despite feeling bad it will get easier i promise you, you will get good at what you practice so practice trying.

if all of these things seem too hard, or you cant do them, the main thing is thats ok too. and if you dont feel 100% better after doing these things, that is also ok. the truth is some days things will be hard and that is your body telling you to relax, or sleep, or that it just wants to have an off day. no day is wasted if you are still here to see it.

(a lot of these tasks can be made easier by doing prep when you are feeling Good, which is part of the reason why i made this list, but i might do another post on prep stuff. )

[bigmack2go]

List your favorite character and then some headcanons about that character! Then repost into the ask box of your favorite moots! <333

Love, anon

So i was convinced i already answered this but i just looked and i cant find it so i guess imma do it again

Imma go with my fav character of my current hyperfixation which would be:

Albert DaSilva. Ofc

SO

SPRALBERT SPRALBERT SPRALBERT

His username in modern era would either smt along the lines of „einsteinTheSalvia“ or like „redwaterdrops“

In superhero au he would have themperature change/recistancy because gingers are more sensitive to themperature @ykthefancyclamwiththepearlinside

Childhood Besties™️ ITH TOMMY!!!!!

Has HPOTS. (Let me project my smaler problems on my blorbo without traumatising him to much>:()

Can get super kinky

THIS KID LOVES RED PADAS and monkeys and lemurs and all those funny little creatures.

Fav color: Hot. Pink. do not attempt to change my mind.

Al is the Delancys Cousin and stepbrother

His nickname is Twitch. The other Newsies started calling him that because he gets super jumpy and flichy really quick with sudden movements. Little do they know the reason for that. (Lmfao remember when i said i wouldn’t project on them to much)

For the next one I‘ll just out a picture for context bc it doesn’t make much sense without the ither ones

Albert has anger issues (but thats nothing new)

Tried to dye hair before bc kept getting teased for being ginger (it did not go well)

Allie is genderfluid and gets super super dysphoric on she-days (which is what she calls it in her head) but that’s not only cause of her body; she also doesn’t understand how there are transpeople who DONT get dysphoric/ wishes she could be one of them

Usually uses he/him or he/they and honestly has „she-days“ fairly rarely. But when she does it’s she/her/they/them

Blue eyes!!!!

When he gets confused, or irritated etc he starts to draf out words. Not talk slow, only drag out the words. He also starts blinking rly fucking fast and sometimes his head tilts without meaning to. (Spot ADORES it)

Needs hearing aids but hayes wearing them so he zses a lot of sign language

If this guy doesn’t have ADHD, my name is Angela Merkel. But al is one of those cases that puperty did Not mix well with ADHD and just gets tired all the time

ALBERT IS A SLUT. CHANGE MY MIND. IF HE DOESNT GO AROUND FLIRTING WITH EVERYTHING THAT CAN BREATHE (though that‘s optional) I SHALL NOT BE NAMED MACKJ

Obviously prankmaster ™️

he wears his hat backwards cause it covers his hair better cause he’s embarrassed of it

This is from @homosexual-newsboy

HOWEVER IN MODERNERA this man is the proudest mother fucker alive and his hair is practically the only thing he cares about

Ocd

Lots and lots of sensory issues

CANNOT control his volume. Always either too loud or too silent

Everyone love Al‘s family‘s chillie recepie. - that’s the only time when he’s alowed in the kitchen: when they’re having chilli. Not unsupervised tho

Chronic migraines

That‘s all i can think of is rn and i‘m in a hurry so.. yeah

[lessthanzeroc4lsgirly]

Not really a question but I did ballet tap and jazz for years (from age 3-13) and I promise you you’re gonna do great. Anyone can succeed in dance as long as they have a good and supportive teacher and is willing to put in the work. Remember:Ballet is a game of hard work NOT pure talent. Most people start out bad it is only with time and practice in and out of class but that you become a new dancer. Please please please up you cal intake even if only by a little to accommodate for all the new muscle you’ll be building ik it can be triggering but be sure to eat more protein (for muscles) and carbs( for energy). You’ll burn it all off and some so please don’t deprive yourself too much. If you smoke/vape please try to decrease it or try quitting irk it’s hard but ballet can really take your breath away (literally) and smoking makes it worst. Keep a granola or protein bar in your bag just in case. If you fast, try not to do so on dance days it’s hell trust me(I’ve had ed since I was 11 fasting as an athlete is not fun). Do your stretches!!!Having cramps mid plié iis not for the weak T-T. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel uncomfortable or switch teachers or classes if you feel they are not helping you be the best dancer you can be. A bad teacher can really ruin the experience( I gave up on ballet bc of this) but do not let it hold you back! Most people in ballet are super nice and mind their own business as we are all individually trying to get better. I wish you luck and i hope you enjoy your first class 🩷🩷

Omg ur so sweet <33

Yeah i did think about how smoking is gonna be a problem with ballet or any sport for that matter ig so hopefully ill work something out!

As for stretching, Ive rlly learned how important consistency and just stretching in general can be when I first took interest in ballet beyond just 'omg skinny' n jeez it might be a challenge im not rlly the most flexible

I have a few more ideas and plans in mind to hopefully be able to balance ballet with the whole ed thing

I know i cant just get over my ed in a second its a disorder after all but I dont want it to ruin what has been a sort of secret dream of mine for quite a long while already

I really hope it all goes well and ill probably keep updating the first bit of actually getting a look inside the building and meeting the people etc etc

[mrsdeliberatecreater]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Okay love. I need you to do something for me. Take 3 deeeeep breaths.

Okay?

I understand you completely. I understand what are going through completely. I'm Indian, so I know how it can be. I got yelled at by my sister for thinking that I might have ADHD. 👀 Its all good now though. I also used to deal with debilitating anxiety two years ago.. I barely left my room, let alone go to school for a master's degree that I chose and got into serious debt for.. I'm not making this about me, but I just want you know that change is possible.

Anytime you start to feel bad, a anxiety attack coming on, I want you to just keep taking calming deep breaths and focus on the now. Focus on the things you see, things you can hear, smell, etc. Its the feeling of "now". Come back to the "now" as many times as needed if you feel negative thoughts. I would affirm, "Everything is okay, everything will be okay", pick an affirmation that feels natural to you, and affirm.

If you like subliminals, I would recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX6BKBzVgfk&t=4s This has stopped so many of my anxiety attacks before I learned to let them go..

If not keep doing the breathing exercises. You will find that by repetition this will eventually release the reasons for feeling anxiety in the first place. Take things one day at a time. If it gets bad, ask someone you trust for help.

We alll have doubts. Doubts are fine. As long as you are just focused on the end/wish fulfilled/affirming, you are fine, even with doubts. You don't need to believe with 100% everything till you burst a blood vessel. If you feel like your doubts are overwhelming you, decide that nothing, not even you can stop your desires from manifesting. <3

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you". - Matthew 17:20

If you have the time, I would highly recommend IlluminatingJoy on youtube, especially her https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT2xyCcoues&t=1727s

She has a really good grasp on manifestation and explains everything so well and accommodates it to fit our "logic", while completely validating human emotions. The exercise she does in this video is so so simple but seriously effective. I catch myself slipping at least once a day that would have spiraled if I hadn't done the exercise.

Also if you want to do this in a day, I want you to focus on your mental diet. Affirm affirm affirm.

If negative thoughts come up, you breathe and think "I can relax, I got all A's". Anything in the 3D reminds you think, "I can relax, I got what I wanted. Your family being mean to you? remember how in class after lunch, your teacher is talking but you're thinking about something else.

Also speaking of that, I know you said you can't your images clearly. That's fine. Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

Visualizing is NOT imagination.

My visualizations are never clear and I manifest everything I imagine all the time. They all have that "vignette" effect lol..

Imagination can be a picture, it can be a smell, a touch, a voice, just how someone's clothes smell when they are standing really close to you like in an elevator. Like you can specifically smell it but you KNOW what I'm talking about right?

Your loved ones in your face? Use it YOUR ADVANTAGE. I used to hear my sister compliment me, it was easy to hear her voice. I primarily used her voice to fix our relationship. Cannot for the life of me picture her face properly but thats FINE.

You can use ANY of the senses, just one or two or all. Hear your family saying things you want in your mind. Hear them congratulating you, compliment you.

You can slowly work this into all the other aspects of your life...

By the way, you aren't lost and empty. You are a very caring person, you want to do things so that you don't let your family down, in spite of how they treat you. That to me is a genuinely caring person.

But you need to apply that same care to yourself. You don't need me to be harsh to you, YOU don't need to be harsh to you. You are working so hard to find answers but you ARE the answer. Its okay. Please just rest. Its all yours. Be more soft to yourself, be more kind to yourself, compliment yourself, you will start to see that kindness reflected in the 3D as well.

I have given you a lot of options here so you can pick and choose what makes YOU feel better so that YOU can focus on SELF because

Nothing to change but self

Reach out to me as many times as you would like, you could never bother me.

Nya 🌺