#carrot processing machines

[allroundvp]

There are four different carrot processing lines you can choose from at Allround. Each of these lines can be customized to meet your requirements and to perfectly suit your production facility. With us, you are ensured of high-end equipment that meets your requirements in terms of processing speed, capacity, and more.

[big-ass-magnet]

I CANNOT BE STOPPED more Mechanicsburg/Ankh Morpork sister city shenaniganry.

Ankh Morpork has more in common with Mechanicsburg than you might think. The difference is, Ankh Morpork's masters have been gone since the days of Stoneface Vimes. (I wonder how soon after that came Mechanicsburg's Incredibly Brief Rebellion?)

I think the old Heterodynes would find the patricians confusing. You don't torture your own civilians. That's what other people are for. If you're so desperate for test subjects, just go out and get them! Assassination attempts are good exercise, they keep you on your toes! What do you mean you think your own citizens are out to get you?? They're minions, they don't do that. What are you talking about?

(The Heterodynes have a bit of a blind spot in understanding how unique their situation is. "Your people are fanatically loyal to you despite everything you are and do to them?" "What, like it's hard?" Yes. Yes it is. You have generations of selective breeding on your side, guys; not everyone has an army of super soldiers they can rely on to be 100% loyal.)

Vetinari almost certainly got the idea for the guilds from Mechanicsburg (and probably has a Monster's Guild, in this universe). He finds the Heterodynes fascinating. They're both better AND worse than the old patricians, and they have a dynasty that has worked for a thousand years. He is a scalpel watching a hammer more or less successfully perform surgery.

Vetinari and the Heterodyne Boys have a lot of respect for each other and what they're trying to do. It's the methodology they don't agree on. However, they all recognize that though their problems are very similar, their situations are not.

Bill and Barry were making Mechanicsburg not be the biggest threat to Europa. The people of Ankh Morpork are the biggest threat to the people of Ankh Morpork.

They are the masters their people were built for. He is Just Some Guy. They don't have to worry about making themselves too vital to assassinate. They can just force people to obey them.

The boys watch Vetinari's machinations with a sort of jealous longing, especially when they're in the process of civilizing Mechanicsburg. They may be Good, but they are also Heterodynes. It is not unthinkable that they are physically, nay, genetically incapable of subtlety 1. Look at him! He just sits there and raises an eyebrow and people do what he wants without realizing it. He can make people think they want to do what he wants them to do! He can make them think it was their idea.

1 Heterodyne genetics store up all the potential subtlety to bestow on the occasional individual; subterfuge is either extremely yes or extremely no.

[Bill, kicking a rock: I bet Vetinari wouldn't need an army of Jägers to get people to listen to him.]

[They'd be even more jealous of Carrot than they are of Vetinari. Carrot makes people want to do good just by standing there.]

Bill and Barry took what was wrong with Mechanicsburg and twisted it into something productive, and what couldn't be made productive, they burned out entirely. Vetinari kept what was wrong with Ankh Morpork and made it controllable and predictable.

Vetinari finds the Heterodyne boys refreshingly straightforward, but also exhaustingly heroic. Good for business, in the long run, to be sure, but their methods are rather inflexible--not to mention wasteful. Do you have any idea what he could do with an army that could survive serving as watchmen in the Shades? (Probably. If they patrolled in groups, almost certainly. And Jägers enjoy danger, don't they?) 

They have no hidden motivations, but they aren't stupid -- they know a sneaky devious plot when they see one, they'll just trample straight over it and do what they always intended to do in the first place. Do you have any idea how rare it is for him to have a conversation with a ruler who has no secret plans not because they are too stupid or incompetent to have them, but because they don't want them?

He likes Agatha more - she has that same straightforward earnestness, the same (relatively) grounded perspective, but she's more amenable. She's willing to make use of the things that aren't good. He's also aware that this makes her much, much more dangerous.

[dp-marvel94]

Closing Time

Summary: For pricklenettle, Phandom Holiday Truce 2024

With twenty minutes left in his shift, an unseen ghost shows up to make his night harder. Tucker does not get paid enough for this.

Word Count: 2074

Also on AO3 and Fanfiction.net

Note: Happy Truce! This story is for @pricklenettle. I went with the Prompt 2: Danny being a creepy, mysterious fellow somewhere normal like a gas station. Prompt 5 inspired me to have Tucker be the pov character, though.... well, you'll see. 😉

Enjoy!

Just twenty minutes. Twenty minutes before closing time.

Tucker sighs, repeating the words in his head as he sweeps the front of the supermarket. The broom’s bristles scrap against the floor, the sound grating against his ears. Ten feet away, his manager surveys the square of self-checkout kiosks. One lone customer, a middle-aged man, swipes his chips and soda. The machine chimes harshly as it processes the man’s credit card.

The boy lifts one hand to massage his forehead. Just twenty more minutes.

The shopper exits passed Tucker and the teen’s gaze follows, trailing to the wide glass window, to the pitch-black outside. The doors slide open, the sound of rain crashing through the front with a spray of cold droplets.

Tucker winces at the sensation. Please, please let it stop soon. Fervently, he begs in his head.  Please let it stop before he has to run to the bus stop.

“Go sweep the produce section.” His manger’s nasally voice cuts through the silent pleading.

With a nod, the teen complies. He pushes the broom’s long head around the banana stand. The bristles scrape harshly as the lights illuminating the vegetable stands buzz sharply. And Tucker again rubs his forehead, gritting his teeth at the building headache.

Those stupid lights, this stupid broom. If his boss wouldn’t give him crap about it and would just let him wear headphones at work….

Tucker hums under his breath, repeating the chorus to his favorite Dumpty Humpty song in his head. Normally, that is a decent distraction from the overstimulating sounds. But this night….

The pounding of rain on the roof crescendos. Tucker shivers, suddenly cold. A draft blows through, from the outside doors at the front of the store, he assumes. The chill tickles his nose and he sneezes. Tiny, wet drops spray on his face.

Great. The boy huffs, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He’s getting the cold Danny has too, isn’t he?

At least he can go home soon and collapse on his warm bed.

Tucker goes back to sweeping, humming the same Dumpty Humpty song. He sweeps up little bites of onion peel, fallen leaves from the poinsettia display, dried mud tracked in on someone’s boots. He moves in front of the carrots and cucumbers, wrinkling his nose as water mists over the produce and sprays him.

The teen comes to the end of the produce section, to the first fridge of meat. He surveys the pork chops approvingly. Oh, those ones are on manager’s special. Maybe he should-

Suddenly, the sound of a cough cuts through his thoughts. Tucker looks up, drawn to the noise.

Two aisles over, someone about his height in a red hoodie stands with back facing him. Huh? How hadn’t noticed that person before? The clink of cans shifting in a pile sounds as they pick up a can of soup.

Tucker goes back to sweeping, eyes fixed on the head of the broom as he carefully maneuvers it between the horizontal display fridge filled with pork ribs and a shelf with an offering of barbecue sauces.

The heavy thump of a can falling and Tucker’s head jerks up again. The person in the hoodie is gone, a can of chicken noodle soup rolling across the floor.

Brow winkling, the teen approaches. He picks up the luckily undented can, returning it to the display. His head tilts, peering down the pointedly empty aisle. Where did the person in the hoodie go?

Before Tucker can contemplate the mystery, the intercom crackles. “Clean up! Aisle 10!”

Tucker sighs, rolling his eyes exacerbatedly. Really? This is the second time this shift. Please don’t be throw up again, he mentally begs. Still, he carries the broom back to the supply closet near the restrooms, collecting the bucket and mop.

The teen jerkily pulls the yellow monstrosity through the store. One of its wheels refuses to spin. “Come. On.” He mutters under his breath, annoyance growing.

He passes the lunch meat and the cheese, the butter and eggs. Approaching the aisle in question, Tucker takes a breath, preparing himself for what will hopefully be a small mess. He rounds the corner and-

Milk… all over the floor. The teen’s jaw drops. Half the length of the aisle, a good twenty feet section of the floor is covered in the white liquid.

“H… how?” He can’t help but stutter. How could someone even manage to spill this much milk?

Eyes blown wide, Tucker approaches the nearest jug. Tentatively, he prods it with his shoe. The plastic crunches at the touch, jagged cracks scrapping against each other. It looks almost shattered…as if dropped from a great height.

His eyes trail over the scene once more. A dozen more crumpled jugs litter the floor, their contents all explosively dispersed.

But…. How? How could one person do this? A flicker of unease leaps in his stomach. If he didn’t know better, he would think it was the Box Ghost’s doing. Expect these are plastic jugs, not rectangular cartons. No boxes have been touched, not cardboard the cartons of eggs come in, the microwave dinners, or the sticks of butter. And most tellingly, there are no shouts of beware.

Tucker’s nose wrinkles. It would be just his luck for Boxy to show up for the end of his shift.

The teen shakes his head, dislodging the thought. That hypothetical doesn’t matter right now. He frowns hopelessly down at the now quite insufficient mop. He’s going to need those blue absorbent puppy pads. A lot of them.

Tucker turns around, leaving the mop and bucket and starting back towards the storage room. He passes the butter and eggs again. The sign for the bathroom looms in front of him. He quickly comes to the open doorway, across from the clearance rank, and-

A puff of cold on his neck. The boy stiffens. A low whisper echoes to his right, behind him. Movement out the corner of his eye, a flicker of maroon red and neon green.

Tucker freezes, head jerking to the side to look. But… nothing.

There is nothing beside him, just the freezer of meatballs and chicken nuggets.

The lights above flicker and pop, flashing brightly at the same another whisper crackles, on his other side and full of static. Tucker’s head jerks to the sound, catching another flicker, this one of something black. His body follows the movement of his gaze, turning back the way he came.

No farther spills, no customers, no annoying boss. No one to mutter or dart passed him. The walkway is the same.

Except… a spot of neon green.

Annoyance swirling in his gut, Tucker marches up to the spot. He kneels and his brow furrows at the object. A tissue, stained with globs of glowing green.

“Freaking ghosts.” The teen curses under his breath. Of course! Of course it’s a ghost.

He picks up the tissue between two fingers, nose wrinkled in disgust. What is this? The ectoplasm looks sticky and wet, glowing between the folds of the crumpled kleenex. Like some kind of ghostly booger. From what? A ghost of the common cold?

“The store closes in five minutes!” His boss’s false cheery voice cuts through the scene. “Please bring your purchases to the front.”

Tucker groans at the words, standing. Ghost or no, he still has an aisle to clean. He hurries to the storeroom, grabbing a wad of absorbent pads. He manhandles the big black trash can with wheels, pushing it out of the closet and through the open doorway.

Then a flash of green light. A crash reverberates around the corner, back in the milk aisle.

Unthinking, Tucker takes off running. He rounds the corner, the spilled milk puddles appearing in front of him once again.  A burst of cold and his legs fly out from under him.

The teen falls, landing heavily on his behind. Sudden adrenaline pounds his heart, the sound deafening in his ears. He shivers, not just from any dread but… the cold. His hand reaches for the white covering the floor, goosebumps prickling his skin. It’s frozen.

Shakily, Tucker puts his hands under him. He rises to his feet; thank goodness he’s not hurt any more than his sore tailbone. Still, his eye dart side to side, on alert.

“Look.” The teen sighs, annoyance growing. “Whoever you are, just-”

From outside, thunder crashes. The building shakes with the sound. The lights flicker, blinking out across the store.

Great, they just lost power. It’s a fleeting thought. Except-

His eyes widen at the freezers, still humming. Their fluorescent white light eerily illuminate the aisle.

“Alright.” The boy mutters, taking a step back from the slippery floor. “Dude, just turn the light back on so I can clean this.”

Ominous whispers answer, the words lost to static. To his side, a shadow passes over the freezer’s light.

Tucker turns, fumbling in his pocket. “You know what, I don’t care about the lights!” Come on. Come on. Where is that wrist ray? “Just go!”

Another boom of thunder rattles the air. The PA system shrieks, a deafening dial tone. The boy grimaces, covering his ears. Again, a shadow flickers out the corner of his eye.

The sound cuts out. The teen jerkily swivels to face the flicker, pulling out a lipstick blaster. “Don’t make me-“

The freezer door behind him slams open, the force of the glass on his back sending him to the ground. The blaster goes off, the laser sailing through the air. Harmlessly, it pings off a bakery display. Meanwhile, Tucker’s momentum sends him sliding across the slick floor on his front.

“Dude, I just want to finish my shift and go home!” The teen complains, slamming into said mid-aisle shelf.

He rolls to his side, groaning. Those bruises are going to hurt in the morning.

Neon green streaks across his vision. Again, Tucker shoots. Again, the laser flies free. And still, it fails to impact.

In response, more glass doors fling open. Three shelves collapse, dozens of frozen meals crashing onto the floor.

“Not my Hungry Man too!” The teen cries.

Back pressed against the wooden bakery shelf, Tucker pushes himself up to sit. With frustration-gritted teeth, he holds the blaster in front of him.

Static pops, filling his ears as the hum of the freezer crescendos. The ghostly fluorescent light flickers bright and dimmer. But… no hint of shadow, no ghostly green.

Eyes still intently focused ahead, Tucker reaches for his PDA. “That’s it. I’m calling Danny.” He scowls, finger over the button. “He can deal with you-“

The PDA sparks, to the technogeek’s horror. He flings it away. At the same time, a screeching reverberates, like long skeletal fingers scratching styrofoam. A milk carton rises from the open fridge. The teen stares with narrowed eyes as the plastic warps. It explodes. Drops of white liquid hang in the air for a drawn out second, before flinging across the room.

Something in Tucker snaps. He’s cold, tired, and bruised. His head hurts. His shift is almost over. Enough is enough!

“Seriously!?” He shouts, frustration giving way to rage. “I have to clean all this up?!”

In one surprisingly fluid motion, he stands. The shadows hiss, two glowing green orbs flashing into sight. They linger, just a second. But it’s enough.

Tucker shoots the blaster. And it impacts.

A pained yelp sounds. The darkness solidifies, person-shaped between one blink and the next. The green orbs, eyes, widen.

A flash of light blinds Tucker. In the next second, the store’s lights are back. The freezer doors all slam closed.

And a boy in a red hoodie crumples, falling to his knees five feet in front of him.

“Wha- Tuck?” The boy blinks, looking up.

Tucker’s jaw drops. “Danny?”

“I was in bed. What? How did I get- Acho!” A sneeze interrupts, Danny whipping glowing green snot away with his sleeve. “How did I get here?”

Tucker stares, mind churning with surprise. Then… understanding. “You!” He points accusingly. “You did this!”

“What?” Dazedly, the half ghost looks over the destruction.

“And you were, what? Sleeping haunting?!” His hands lift, exacerbated. “This is gonna take an hour to clean up!” He marches forwards, grabbing the mop and bucket, and shoving the handle at his friend. “You’re doing it!”

“But…but…” Danny stutters, blinking disbelievingly at the mess

Still, Tucker stomps away. He doesn’t get paid enough for this.

Note: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed.

I debated whether to end it with Tucker storming off or if I should show more of the aftermath but decided the quick ending worked best with the prompt I was going for. Rest assured though, like two minutes after storming off, Tucker comes back and feels really bad about losing his temper. There are mutual apologies as both clean up. Danny flies Tucker home (yay for not having to wait for the bus in the rain!). And the next day, they're laughing about the entire thing.

[lowspoonsgourmet]

The easiest best two to three days of food for one person I know of. A flexible modular recipe. This is going to sound high work at times due to how broadly I am writing this, it is not as bad as the vagueness and intentional broadness makes it sound signed a person who has frequently accidentally had sleep for dinner after being unable to make it too damn much.

Rice cooker needed.

Ingredients:

Rice (any), lentils or beans optional (one or two cans), frozen vegetable mix (any and in as much quantity as you want, I like potato, carrot, peas, and corn you like what you like)

Sauces (teriyaki sauce and kewpie mayonnaise is what I swear by because of how easy they are to manage and pour and how well they compliment the food and each other but use whatever you own and can stomach or nothing at all, extra points for one having some fat), seasonings (curry powder and salt is my standard, really the salt is enough) Oil

Additional protein (tuna, cheese, ham, chicken tendies, shredded chicken, tofu, more beans, egg, mushroom, setian, nutritional yeast, you do you, two seperate sources for the different days useful)

In to the rice cooker, put two cups rice with water in proportion, one or two cans lentils or beans if using (strain and quickly rinse them if you can, if not just pour out as much of the liquid as possible and dump), and a lot of frozen vegetable mix in whatever variety you have on hand/like. It's going to look like a lot. That's because it is. This is good. Add more vegetables. Two cups of rice makes more than you think so it's very hard to add too many vegetables to this if you're at least neutral on vegetables. Let the rice cooker cook. It's going to take a while so do whatever.

This is now a mostly complete meal if you add fat and salt, so the teriyaki and kewpie in my version. The additional protein will make it more filling and better in general, so adding a low effort one

Turn off the keep warm on the rice cooker and dump out the leftovers on a plate or something. Or not and just put the whole pot away. Leave in fridge overnight.

If you're ambitious/need variety reheat by frying with a different seasoning and secondary protein source #2 for best results. It's all already cooked so you just need to add the extras and to have it be warm. If you want to then use the fried rice in multiple meals, it reheats in the microwave better than the unfried. If you're not, reheat in the microwave with extras and enjoy that yesterday you making food for today you really helped out today you.

This provides two days of main meal food that are both very presentable and flavoursome, and are sufficiently different to each other it takes a long time to get sick of/makes it easier to feel like you're "doing well". I have had friends compliment me on how nice I am eating despite being in states that would usually leave me struggling to make myself food that mildly disgusts or concerns them. It dirties the rice cooker bowl and paddle, one eating bowl and utensils, one plate (optional), and a frying pan (optional). Most of those I just rinse out or soak not wash properly tbh, it's not like it has cheese to scrub off if you don't use it. This whole process takes about five minutes of active prep and clean up both days. The worst pitfalls I have found with it are getting too ambitious on the secondary protein for day 1 and eventually just having nothing, which I fixed for me by switching to canned tuna or shredded chicken, forgetting or otherwise failing to empty or turn off the heating of the rice cooker, and getting overwhelmed having to use the stove at all day 2 and avoiding the nice but optional upgrade.

I hope this is helpful for someone out there, I know how often most of these from around the place sound "oh my god you think that's simple??" But, and I say this as one of you, the backbone of this is having the machine that boils carbs boil a bunch of carbs for you and cramming as much of a "complete" or "fancy" meal's prep in to that process as possible then finishing with stuff you just pour, drop, or slice in.

Sounds helpful

[helenvader]

The Last Hero is a difficult book to quote, since I do not have a copy/past-able version, but it's worth the work! This is long, but I just had to share it all. :-)

If there are any typos, feel free to tell me!

--

Lord Vetinari found it best to set up a committee system. More of the ambassadors from other countries had arrived at the university, and more heads of the Guilds were pouring in, and every single one of them wanted to be involved in the decision-making process, without necessarily going through the intelligence-using process first.

About seven committees, he considered, should be about right. And when, ten minutes later, the first sub-committee had miraculously budded off, he took aside a few chosen people into a small room, set-up the Miscellaneous Committee, and locked the door.

"The flying ship will need a crew. I'm told," he said. "It can carry three people. Leonard will have to go because, to be frank, he will be working on it even as it departs. And the other two?" 

"There should be an assassin," said Lord Downey of the Assassins’ Guild.

"No. If Cohen and his friends were easy to assassinate, they would have been dead long ago," said Lord Vetinari.

"Perhaps a woman's touch?" said Mrs Palm, head of the Guild of Seamstresses. "I know they are elderly gentlemen, but my members are–"

"I think the problem there, Mrs Palm, is that although the Horde are apparently very appreciative of the company of women, they don't listen to anything they say. Yes, Captain Carrot?"

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson of the City Watch was standing to attention, radiating keenness and a hint of soap. "I volunteer to go, sir," he said.

"Yes, I thought you probably would."

"Is this a matter for the Watch?" said the lawyer Mr Slant. "Mr Cohen is simply returning property to its original owner."

"That is an insight which had not hitherto occurred to me," said Lord Vetinari smoothly.

"However, the City Watch would not be the men I think they are if they couldn't think of a reason to arrest anyone. Commander Vimes?"

"Conspiracy to make an affray should do it," said the head of the Watch, lighting a cigar.

"And Captain Carrot is a persuasive young man," said Lord Vetinari.

"With a big sword," grumbled Mr Slant.

Persuasion comes in many forms," said Lord Vetinari. "No. I agree with Archchancellor Ridcully, sending Captain Carrot would be an excellent idea. "What? Did I say something?" said Ridcully.

"Do you think that sending Captain Carrot would be an excellent idea?"

"What? Oh. Yes. Good lad. Keen. Got a sword. "Then I agree with you," said Lord Vetinari, who knew how to work a committee. "We must make haste, gentlemen. The flotilla needs to leave tomorrow. We need a third member of the crew–"

There was a knock at the door. Vetinari signalled to a college porter to open it.

The wizard known as Rincewind lurched into the room, white-faced, and stopped in front of the table.

"I do not wish to volunteer for this mission," he said.

"I beg your pardon?" said Lord Vetinari.

"I do not wish to volunteer, sir."

"No one was asking you to."

Rincewind wagged a weary finger. "Oh, but they will, sir, they will. Someone will say: hey, that Rincewind fella, he's the adventurous sort, he knows the Horde. Cohen seems to like him, he knows all there is to know about cruel and unusual geography, he'd be just the job for something like this." He sighed. "And then I'll run away, and probably hide in a crate somewhere that'll be loaded on to the flying machine in any case."

"Will you?"

"Probably, sir. Or there'll be a whole string of accidents that end up causing the same thing. Trust me, sir. I know how my life works. So I thought I'd better cut through the whole tedious business and come along and tell you I don't wish to volunteer."

"I think you've left out a logical step somewhere," said the Patrician.

"No, sir. It's very simple. I'm volunteering. I just don't wish to. But, after all, when did that ever have anything to do with anything?"

"He's got a point, you know, said Ridcully. "He seems to come back from all sorts of–"

"You see?" Rincewind gave Lord Vetinari a jaded smile. "I've been living my life for a long time. I know how it works."

[fruit-teeth]

Longneck

(Do you ever have an idea for a fic thats so ridiculous that you have to write it?? Yeah that’s what happened here today)

____

It was the day of April 23rd that everything changed. 

The day started out average, with Sniper pouring his morning coffee by the window sill in the base’s kitchen. He didn't generally drink coffee in the kitchen, but his camper's coffee machine wasn't operating properly.

Just as he brought the mug up to sip it, he became aware of a noise: a strange banging sound, coming from the infirmary. He froze, looking up in the direction of the noise, squinting. ”What in the…?” 

The next sound he became aware of was Medic’s muttering, sounding almost frantic. It was early in the morning, so not everyone was awake. It was likely just the two of them up. Sniper decided to investigate after a brief internal debate, taking another sip of coffee and heading to the infirmary.

When he pushed the door open, he first became aware of the mess in Medic’s office. The flooring was littered with papers, pens, and bird seed, and in the corner, all the doves gathered together, appearing scared.

“What the hell is going on?” Sniper asked, stepping in and looking around for Medic.

Medic was in the far left corner of the room, kneeling over something. He stopped, straightened up, and grabbed his coat from a nearby rack, draping it over whatever was in front of him.

“Sniper! What a surprise!” Medic exclaimed, voice cracking slightly. “I’m very busy right now, can we talk later?” 

Sniper wasn’t so easily swayed, though, and he closed the door behind him. “What are you hiding under that coat?” 

“Nothing!” Medic insisted. “It’s nothing, really! It’s nothing that concerns you, you should…”

Before he could continue, the lump below the garment began squawking and squirming around. Sniper quickly approached and pulled the coat aside, concerned about what Medic may be hiding.

What he saw was perhaps the last thing he ever expected to see: a goat-sized creature that appeared to be a long-necked reptile. It squawked once again and pressed into the corner, clearly frightened, looking about the room madly.

“What is that?” Sniper asked after a moment, not understanding what he was seeing. 

Medic scratched the back of his head, as if debating whether or not to answer. “It’s a…well, I don’t know. It appears to be a dinosaur of some kind…” 

Sniper couldn’t speak for a few seconds, processing the sight before him. “No…no, it’s not. Come on, doc, what is this thing? A Loch Ness monster? Some kinda…giraffe and lizard hybrid?” 

“I don’t know!” Medic exclaimed. “I-I bought it in an unmarked crate from the black market, the man selling it said it was a miniature horse!” 

“Miniature horse!? Why were you buying a horse from the black…” Sniper shook himself. “You know what? I don’t wanna know why you wanted a mini horse! What are you gonna do with this bloody thing?! There’s no way this is an actual dinosaur!” 

The creature flopped down in the corner, shaking pitifully. Medic sighed. “I have no idea what to do with it! I don’t know how to feed it, or…I don’t know! I suppose it could be interesting to study, but it’s terrified of me! It runs away if I try to touch it!”

Sniper watched the creature, and after a moment, he knelt down to examine it. “Whatever it is, it looks like a baby,” he tucked his hand beneath its jaw, lifting its head up to get a look at its teeth. “Hm…the teeth…herbivore, definitely. I’ll get it some vegetables.” 

“Vegetables?” Medic asked incredulously as Sniper walked out of the office. “But…are you sure that's a good idea!?” 

Shortly after, Sniper came back holding a dish of celery, carrots, and spinach, which he set in front of the animal. “Here ya go, eat up!” 

After a few seconds of staring at the dish, the creature cautiously sniffed one of the leaves and took a nibble. As it began to munch on the leaves and vegetables, Sniper and Medic watched in complete silence. 

Finally, Sniper spoke up. “Pretty sure its a brontosaurus, with the long neck and all, still just a baby.” 

“Hm?” Medic glanced in his direction, brow furrowed. “How do you know?”

”I had a big book of dinosaurs when I was a kid,” Sniper admitted. “I know a lot of their names…I was kinda obsessed with them for a period of time.” 

Medic snorted. “Of course you were…so, what do you suppose we do with it?” 

The small dinosaur finished the leaves and began to bite the bowl, causing Sniper to carefully remove it. “I dunno — we can’t just let it out, little biter’s not part of this ecosystem, it would be a bad idea.” 

“So…we keep it here?” Medic asked, rubbing his chin in thought. 

“I…guess so,” Sniper replied with a shrug. “Hell, none of this feels real,” he reached out, touching the creature’s scaly skin with a light hand. The dinosaur pressed its head up into Sniper’s hand, trilling. 

“Would you mind taking it out of here?” Medic asked. “It’s just…the birds are terrified,” 

"Oh— yeah, of course," Sniper said, still in a fog. He lifted the dinosaur into his arms, wheezing at the surprising weight. “Ugh! Not even sheep are this heavy…” 

Sniper stepped out of the room, carrying the creature in his arms as he closed the door behind him. He paused in the hallway, looking down at the dinosaur, the reality of this situation sinking in. 

As he watched the tiny dinosaur start to nibble on his sleeve, he muttered to himself, "Hell, this town is fucking weird."

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #316

Today's letter might be a bit short; my focus is scattered all over the place, and my legs are screaming at me from a long walk in the woods today. I don't have any profound thought to share or anything insightful to write about today, because it is late and my brain is the consistency of soup.

…And it's not even some kind of soup with a thick consistency, either - like a bisque or a chowder. No, this is more like a thin soup with sad, scraggly little noodles, and maybe a small piece of carrot floating around aimlessly.

Still, I had fun today, even if I'm tired now. 😁

I got up early today to pick up my friend, BB, from a car shop; she had to leave hers there to get it inspected and all that. But M needed his car for an appointment today, so I couldn't go on my own because she wanted hangouts afterwards. So M and I both went, and we picked her up, and M dropped BB and I off at her house for hangouts and then he went home.

BB and I did all sorts of fun stuff together!! She showed me some of the music from Final Fantasy 14, and then we watched some kitboga on YouTube (the guy who scams scammers), and then… I gathered up a bunch of their bottles and cans.

In my world, bottles and cans can be recycled. Where I live, one can get money for this if you use special recycling places. You insert the cans or bottles into a special machine, one by one, and in the end, you get a receipt that you can redeem for money - 5 cents per can or bottle turned in this way.

For reference, 100 cents makes up a dollar. It takes about 4 dollars to purchase one gallon of milk. It takes about 3 dollars to purchase a carton of 12 chicken eggs. I don't know how much gil these things cost in your world, or what the economics are that influence the price of these things in your world, though, so I can't say how many gil a dollar is worth. Sorry about that.

Normally, we of my house just put our cans and bottles into the recycling bin at home and some folks take it away, and we do not get any money for it. But at my job, they want to host some kind of potluck, and the people setting it up are accepting the receipts from those special machines to pay for the potluck. BB and her husband N go through a lot of bottles and cans, so with their help, I gathered up everything they have, and managed to fill up a giant trash bag about halfway! I should get at least a couple dollars for it, and then I'll give it to the folks organizing the potluck!

I helped to clean up N's study a little, too, in the process! And from there, BB's car's inspection was done, so M returned, and we drove BB to the place where her car was so she could pick it up. And then M and I went home, and we got some candy for tomorrow on the way. It feels good to be able to help my friends! And I even got a nice picture of the sky on the way home, too...

After I got home, I finally got around to cooking some rice in the leftover juices from those chicken leg quarters I made before. I know that it's been sitting in my fridge for a while now, but chicken juices tend to be pretty stable, especially if they're put into the jar hot and the fat rises to the surface and solidifies to prevent bacterial growth. It still won't keep forever, but still, it's usually good for about a week or two, as long as it doesn't smell weird.

But then, I forgot that tonight, J and I were supposed to do a night walk in our nearby nature trails with a group of hikers! So I put the rice in and set it to cook in the chicken juices (I added a little water to it, to make up for the volume taken up by the fat), and then we left the house pretty much right after that; I asked M to unplug the rice cooker when it beeped, so that the rice wouldn't get dried out and weird; that's what happens if you let it sit in the "keep warm" setting for too long.

The walk was done at night; it was dark. I couldn't get a whole lot of pictures, but I did get a couple…

...I feel really lucky to have been able to snag these, even with my silly little cellphone camera!

The walk was two hours long, though. And the people we walked with were nice enough, but... my body hasn't engaged in lengthy activity for some time now, so even though we got back at like 8:30pm and it is now 12:30am, my legs are still kinda yelling at me, haha...

The rice was ready by the time I got back! By J's request, I had put the steamer basket in there, too; he had cut up some carrots and broccoli ahead of time and left it in the fridge inside the steamer basket. The veggies were maybe a little over-steamed, but they were still good. I put it in a bowl with the rice and the leftover salmon and mushrooms; it was very good!

...Want some...?

I had intended to go to bed sooner than this, but like I said, my focus was scattered everywhere. But, as a happy result of my lack of focus, I got to have a very heartwarming conversation with one of my readers today, and I hope it leads to a nice friendship! We seem to have similar views on a variety of things, and she has told me a little about herself and her world, and I was really impressed by the upbeat attitude she maintains despite the various challenges she faces; I'm sure I could learn a lot by interacting with her, and I feel really lucky that she reached out!

...I wonder if I should make more effort to reach out more often. I'm generally afraid of making the first move when it comes to that sort of thing, though - even with people I know well. I feel like this attitude is rather limiting; maybe I'll talk about figuring out how to change it with my therapist on Tuesday...

Well anyway. My soup brain is getting the better of me. So I'm gonna stop writing now and go to bed.

I love you. Please stay safe out there so you can read tomorrow's letter, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[redux-iterum]

Do you have any writing tips?

A few!

Don't be afraid to write poorly. Dissatisfaction and mistakes are an important part of the process of learning to write well, and they'll continue to exist no matter how skilled you are. If you look at what you've written and hate it, don't just delete it and walk away, swearing to never write again; take a moment to pinpoint exactly what bothers you about this paragraph or that line of dialog, and keep it in mind for the next time you write. Be excited when you catch mistakes! That means you've improved, even a little.

Take the advice of "write drunk, edit sober" as metaphorical (as I do). That is, write with wild abandon, and then come back later with a clear, cooled-down mind and see what you need to fix. Have fun with it and write nonsense. You can change it later. It'll still be there. And sometimes the nonsense will be great! You never know!

If you want to be consistent and finish stuff regularly, set small goals for you to accomplish daily. "I want to write at least one paragraph a day" or "I'd like to have half a page written every day", something manageable like that. Your job is to get something done every day, no matter how much it is (shit, it could be a single sentence, if that's easiest). I recommend having a goal of 250 words written daily - it's a small amount that you quickly get used to, yet significant enough that you've made notable progress.

The least pleasant advice I have is that sometimes, writing will not be fun. You'll be on a scene you don't want to do, or be in the non-entertaining stage of planning something dull between two concepts you're really excited about. You'll be tempted to leave it for later and then end up never doing it at all. Get accustomed to the carrot-on-a-stick method - or dinner-before-desert, if that's your fancy. You don't get to write the really fun scene until you finish up the scene you're bored with. That requires some discipline, but it's not impossible to achieve. Lord knows I've gotten myself through a couple months of writing not-as-fun stuff on the promise that I get to write the thing I've been dreaming of since I started the story. The reward is very well worth it, I promise.

Along those lines: do your best to find small joys when you're at something you find dull. Maybe a conversation takes an entertaining turn! Maybe you make yourself smile when someone makes a joke or does a backflip and hurts themself! The scenery certainly is lovely right now, you can write about that in detail! It's the little things that help push you along until you get to the Big Thing. Like in life, appreciate the small moments.

That being said, don't punish yourself for not being able to complete something. There are a million legit reasons to not come back to a story. There's a line between "I gotta get this done, even if I'm not thoroughly enjoying it right now" and "I'm worthless until I finish this thing and I'm not allowed to take breaks". Take care of yourself. You are more important than your fanfic, and your fanfic doesn't get written unless you rest and eat and take time to enjoy the outside world. Be kind and understanding to yourself and any writers you enjoy. You are flesh and blood, not a machine.

Hope these help!

[canmom]

l'aventure d'canmom à annecy épisode DEUX - lundi - partie 1

sure hope everyone knows the days of the week in French.

I'm gonna be writing throughout the day today because there's gonna be a lot!

this morning i wasted my reservation for The Most Precious of Cargoes by not showing up early enough, rip. As a consolation I went into Grad Films 1! These kinda slapped! ...mostly anyway.

first up, we had Sheep Out by Zofia Klamka, which was pure style. a severely dressed animator has her routine disrupted by a runaway cartoon sheep, taking her on a crazy chase through the ads and posters of the city. edited tight as fuck, the initial routine montage of match cuts transitioning perfectly into crazy smears, wacky perspectives and some really playful shots with the characters running through posters at different scales and interacting with the real world. calls to mind Kon. hell of an opener.

Apartment 203 was a bit of a dud for me. Found footage style about a serial killer, it explains the premise in text at the outset so there is little tension, and it's just a camera looking around a dirty CG with foley of breathing, music, and offscreen violence and screams.

Luckily such misses were not the rule in this block!

Echoes by Robinson Drossos used a very strong sketchy traditional animation style to depict a boy descending into a sewer that becomes an increasingly surreal cave. The pencil texture and strength of drawing and movement do a ton for this one, i fully winced when the boy falls down a shaft hitting his head on every surface.

Carrotica by Daniel Sterlin-Altman was a blast. It's about the desires and fantasies of a single mum obsessed with her carrot research and her repressed gay son who writes erotica in his notebooks, all depicted in stop motion. Excellent naturalistic voice acting and a script that is both funny and very genuine.

Humantis by Paris Baillie from Calarts was a really cool stop motion one about flower petal creatures which engage in strange formal dances, and one of these creatures whose white petals start becoming corrupted with green. The creature tears petals from the others to try to hide its condition but inevitably gets found out, only to discover other green humantises. Yet in the final shot of the film, we see that it still mourns its white petals. I loved the visual style here - really imaginative creature designs.

You are the truck and I am the deer was not really to my taste - poetry over abstract imagery of corruption and trauma, i kinda get it, but it felt a bit too generic for me.

Yapalaponky by Masataka Kihara... I'm sure glad I can post a picture so I don't have to describe the creature. The film depicts a series of cute/funny little interactions between the man and the creature, good visual gags around weight and such, eventually pulling back to a child in a car on the way to a funeral (I think). Always interesting to see jp animation outside the anime bubble - I appreciate the visual imagination of these weird guys with their う faces.

The Time Botanist by Glenn Paul-Parvenu is a delightful tribute to rubber hose and earlier animation, with its mc getting sneezed back into older and older styles by her anthropomorphised time machine. Good concept, nails the execution!

The Last Visit by Keawalee Warutkomain is a meditation on grief, animated in the pages of a book. Foregrounding its process this much, it led me inevitably to think about the act of making a film to grieve someone. I made a short animation when Fall died - it was really rough, but I felt moved to use the art I was making at the time to commemorate her somehow. I always felt a little ashamed that I didn't make something better, but like... as if she'd care! And it makes me wonder like, the stuff about technical execution, how it relates to something so personal as a film about grief - but then, it's not just a personal project, it's being screened for others here. What is the right way to make art 'for' someone who has died? I really don't know.

In this case, Warutkomain is mourning her aunt. The film is more about the experience of grief than the aunt herself, and it felt a little too long for what it had as such an abstract film, but like, it feels cruel to make that kind of criticism. It certainly provoked thought of my own experience of grief, but the subject is inherently resonant - I realised I was getting lost in my head and missing the film. I don't know what to make of it all. Certainly the animation in the pages of a book was a cool effect.

Adiós by José Prats seemed like another such personal film, but in this case a tight drama. A father is struggling to accept the departure of his son, the dialogue full of loaded lines about leaving him behind. They go out hunting, but their dog accidentally eats poison; the father is resigned to losing the dog, but the son runs to fetch salt instead of staying at their side - and this turns out to be the right call, since the dog is saved, and the father finally accepts his son's decision. Strongly executed stop motion, this was a very solid note to end on.

I love student films, because there are few other cases where people get to create with such few restraints. Which isn't to say there aren't pressures - students are trying to impress future employers and their instructors and so forth, and they draw inspiration from other student films so you get certain genres - but I'm always impressed by the sheer variety of stuff that people can cook up in just a year. Definitely a strong block, can't wait for more. (Also some of the directors were present, I hope they appreciated the applause - living the dream of getting a film into annecy. one day.)

[allroundvp]

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[atplblog]

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Compact Design: Space-saving, fits easily on kitchen countertops. [ad_2]

[herleaf]

mundane clara headcanons * RE: Baldur's Gate 3 and gaming in general

clara is absolutely a gamer in her spare time (either when she is not with the doctor, there is a school break, she is with the maitland's and angie and artie want her to play with them, or she just needs time to just blow off steam).

while she started off playing fps games, she kept hearing the doctor's chagrin against guns and violence in the back of her mind so she opted into playing cozier games (ie. wylde flowers or stardew valley) and she honestly finds the idea of trying to plan a farm while romancing people to be a fun and strategic activity

absolutely plans her farms on a website that helps map out stardew valley farms. oh, is that a spreadsheet you see pulled up on a tablet near her while she's playing? yes, because she is calculating what she needs to do to have specific money by the end of the first season because pelican town hasn't seen anyone like farmer clorbus on timey-wimey farm. no walkthroughs, this is a cozy game of skill and trial and error. she absolutely slammed her laptop shut when she gave penny a hated gift by mistake and she writes down everything. clorbus is nothing if not a learner, not making a bad mistake twice.

absolutely looks to see if anyone made a mod for stardew valley that resembles a blue phone box that people all over forums and reddits online have argued about being a time machine or some sort of government distraction from what's really going on. because like real life, there is too much to do in one day and if she gets her cave carrots and gems stolen one more time because she missed the end of day by a single second she will back joja mart to spite them.

dates as many of the bachelors and bachelorettes as she could in stardew valley (she absolutely gets the bad confrontation scene once and that is the only time she looks up a how-to online and reloads and finds a rabbit's foot that she now carries with her always.) she is scared to settle down with any one villager because that would force them to stop having their own personality and would stay on the farm and not be helpful (though she does woo and settle down with wesley IMMEDIATELY in wylde flowers because he is obviously not a mere mortal--spoilers--and regrets NOTHING)

absolutely names most of her animals after the doctor and silly nicknames from their past regenerations

DISCOVERS BALDUR'S GATE 3 and immediately hyperfocuses on these silly little 3D characters

can't decide if she wants to BE shadowheart or lae'zel or BE WITH shadowheart and/or lae'zel

gale reminds her of the doctor with his longwinded narratives and stories of his travels and also, like gale, the doctor feels like he would be the type to have a longwinded and complicated multi-step process to bring them back to life if they are killed before meeting a very old man with a long beard who has a pension for smelly cheeses and wine

absolutely begins quoting tav in her travels with the doctor.

"i've got a lot on my mind... and, well, in it." clara there are cybermen around this isn't the time for jokes

will try explaining every character to the doctor

what do you mean he goes by the blade of frontiers? what frontiers has be conquered? if he loses his blade would he just be called of the frontiers? doctor it is not that serious. he trusted a devil to continue on with a deal? doctor he did it to save thousands, your jealousy is showing

has a soft spot in her heart for wyll ravengard (and like danny pink, wyll deserves more content AND DESERVES BETTER)

[idwsonicmegareview]

A collective sigh of relief for Sonic and friends – 2019 Annual

So maybe you’re a new comic book reader or a parent looking into IDW’s Sonic book for your child. “Annuals” are extra long special release books that come out once a year and may or may not tie into the storyline going on in the main book. The Sonic 2019 Annual fits between issues 12 and 13, after the Metal Sonic story arc but before the Metal Virus saga.

It contains five child-friendly and heartwarming stories in the Sonic world with colorful art and some fan-favorite characters.

Bonds of Friendship

The first story in this collection opens not with Sonic but with our new comic-exclusive characters.

Whisper visits Tangle in Spiral Hill Village and is introduced to Jewel the Beetle, Tangle’s childhood friend. She and Jewel used to go on little adventures together and collected a number of gems and treasures, which Jewel now displays in a museum she is the curator of.

Just as the girls are all getting acquainted, the Babylon Rogues break in and raid the place. Storm accidentally abducts Jewel, thinking that she is actually a giant gemstone. Tangle and Whisper team up to save her and in the process humiliate the Babylon Rogues and get the gems back.

All in all, a very charming and cute adventure that doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Also, as a fan, it’s nice to see the Babylon Rogues return since they’ve always been exclusive to the Sonic Riders series. We did see Sonic and Knuckles ride their extreme gear in the Battle for Angel Island, so we could infer that Riders is included in the continuity but this really seals it.

Being penned by Ian Flynn, this story serves mainly to flesh out more of Tangle’s backstory and to develop her close relationship with Whisper going forward. Having just introduced these characters less than a dozen issues ago in the comic’s run, they’re the ones most in need of new content so it makes sense.

Also Jewel will be an important character going forward, so readers would benefit from seeing her debut in 2019 Annual before digging into the next story arc.

The art by Jennifer Hernandez was much more charming in this story than it was in “Fallout!” and I think her art style was better suited to this kind of jokey adventure.

Jet Set Tornado

Sonic and Tails go for a test flight on the Tornado with a new booster rocket attached. In a unique twist, Sonic is piloting the biplane instead of Tails because Sonic is better suited to maneuvering at high speed. Plus, it’s a nice reminder that the Tornado was actually Sonic’s plane, not Tails’.

Their test flight is interrupted by a badnik but the two manage to take the winged machine down and fly off into the sunset. Sonic asks Tails to take over the yoke because it’s more relaxing for him to ride. Besides, you have to go slow to land.

This story was great for showing Sonic and Tails’ close relationship and how much they believe in each other. Writer Caleb Goellner managed to squeeze a charming story into very few pages and artist Jack Lawrence effectively used a clean art style and uncluttered panels to communicate all the needed visual information without any of it looking simplistic.

Victory Garden

This one is by far my favorite story of the bunch.

Blaze the Cat goes looking for Silver the Hedgehog in the ruins of a town, presumably one bombed during the Eggman War. She finds him trying to plant a garden in a crater, but Silver isn’t having any luck with it.

Blaze uses her fire powers to burn the weeds away and then tells Silver to turn the ashes into the soil to nourish his garden and sure enough, he soon has a flourishing garden of sunflowers, tomatoes, and carrots.

This story is both somber and heartwarming. And it re-establishes the friendship between Silver and Blaze. Longtime fans will know that their relationship is a bit canonically muddled, but they make a good team so I’m glad to see their friendship rebooted here.

I also loved that Blaze would know the role fire can have in renewing plant life, considering her magical attunement to fire. Silver, coming from a post-apocalyptic future, would naturally be attracted to gardens and vibrant plant life but wouldn’t know the first thing about gardening.

Curse of the Pyramid

Our bandits, Rough and Tumble, search for Eggman’s pyramid base and the treasure that waits within.

They don’t expect to run into Rouge the Bat! She’s searching for the same thing, of course, because of her addiction to jewels. Tumble tries to throw her off their trail using his powerful stink but while running away from Rouge stumbles into the Egg Golem (from Sonic Adventure 2!)

While the goons fight the Golem, Rouge goes to find the control unit to disable it but stumbles onto something else! She comes back covered in mummy bandages warning them of the pyramid’s curse!

Rough and Tumble run for it and then it’s revealed that Rouge isn’t actually cursed, she just dressed as a mummy to scare the idiots off. It turns out a group of animals moved into the pyramid after Eggman moved out and they use the “curse” to ward off thieves.

I think it’s hilarious that Eggman is constantly building these unique bases all over the world, and even hides treasure in some of them, but will abandon them at the drop of a hat.

I also like when Sonic characters use their more unique abilities in fun ways because it’s one of the series’ strengths. Even among children’s media, most don’t have a colorful cast both this large and with varied powers. Seeing Rough and Tumble actually use their stink as skunks makes perfect sense and gives them a unique attack when needed.

Sonic Fan Club

The last story of the 2019 annual is a meeting of the Sonic the Hedgehog fan club.

The meeting quickly devolves into a struggle for power as the kids argue about who should be club president. They begin trying to embody different virtues of Sonic to prove they deserve to be president.

They go for a foot race to see who’s the fastest, roll into balls just like Sonic, and fight a badnik to prove they’re brave like Sonic.

The Egg Pawn proves to be too much for them to handle and Tangle steps in to help. Of course, Tangle says they should have a Tangle fan club instead but because she got too distracted, she ends up tangling herself up in her tail and humiliating herself.

As a kid who grew up with Sonic, there’s nothing more charming than the idea of a bunch of kids having a Sonic fan club. I had a stupid grin on my face for the entire story.

The Verdict

The 2019 Annual is a cute little special to pick up but maybe not required reading for IDW Sonic. Kids could pick up this book and understand everything going on without any of the context of the previous 12 issues, but it will enrich their reading going forward.

[theknightlywolfe]

As a note, a lot of above seems to be pulling from very limited information given on replicators vs what we were actually given.

Tom Paris tried to order tomato soup and was slammed in the face with options. The replicator is therefor far more like those silly "customize your own soda" coke machines we have. Choose base, select options on file, choose temp, choose add ins, etc. He lost his temper, so would we, and our now frustrated mood would definitely make us enjoy the food less. Picard spews his order out like a man ordering at a coffee shop for the same reason, he knows what he has to say to get good enough fast enough to not be frustrated (the only difference from us is he doesn't have to wait on a barista who may have missed what we said or is working in a PoS system that uses a different order of options).

Counselor Troi bemoaned at least one, maybe twice, to foreign diplomats about how the replicator ruins the taste of chocolate/ice cream because it spits out everything as a nutritionally balanced product. Everything. That is impossible with actual foods with specific molecules that cause specific taste and smell profiles. Nutritional balance would, by definition, have to change the core elements of the food. So of course replicated food tastes different, it isn't producing the same taste and smell molecules for our systems to process, just close. (As a note I personally believe part of the benefit of going to 10 Forward for a drink even when a character doesn't feel like socializing, something we see happen a lot in TNG, is because the 10 Forward drink replicators have the "nutritonal balance" feature turned off. The place's function is stress relief and relaxation as much as socialization, and that works better with not nutritionally balanced synthehol.)

So yes, one could tweak a replicator recipe to specific specifications, I believe we actually see this with like (and this is just an example) Matzo Ball Soup Worf recipe 3 in one ep, I vaguely recall someone ordering a custom variant in one of the pre-Enterprise shows. But even then that pesky nutritional balance thing would mean it is closer but still not right.

All of which is to say, yes it will always taste not as good, and this is why we see people choosing to cook from replicated ingredients several times. Even if the ingredients come out of the machine not quite right, during the process of cooking you can adust for these "wrong" taste and smell profiles of your ingredients the way we do for a store bought out of season tomato vs a farmer's market bought in season tomato.

ETA: there are probably replicator programmers at Starfleet who, like holonovels still need writers to make them engaging (something we see comparing computer generated in TNG vs written in VOY), scan in popular recipes of certain things, like roasted carrots, and then have the replicator spit out the nutritionally balanced version and the tweak the pattern from there to adjust for the nutritonally balanced mandate so the replicator spits out something closer to it than the system would do automatically.

As a side note… I am really annoyed by one thing about Star Trek.

“Replicated food is not as good as real food.”

That’s ridiculous.  In Star Trek, replicator technology is part of the same tech tree as transporters.  Replicated food would be identical to the food it was based on, down to the subatomic level. 

[shewhoyapsincessently]

A Brief Letter to the Long Baby Carrot

Ivy Trippy

I recognize the absurdity of my writing you, given your nature and my own - and, of course, your lack of eyes or other sensory organs. Still, I suppose that's besides the point. I have something to say I'd very much like you to hear... if only you truly could.

When I first saw you I let out a little cry of shock, and I think I may have even laughed. I was merely stunned by the defiance in your difference. I swear, from the bottom of my heart, it was not a reaction born of malice but one of solidarity. You stuck out so shockingly, more so surrounded by others who were cut down to fit the mold. It's a familiar feeling.

What I mean to say this this : Thank you for the reminder, as to why we celebrate the longest curly fry, the one giant nerd or the twin gummy bears.

From the seed you had a form all your own, you were subjected to a mechanical process designed to make the unique uniform, and in the end by whatever means you still look a bit like yourself. You made it through with scars and all - and because of it, next to the rest, it's undeniably evident you're made of the same stuff - odd or not. Further still you stand as proof that they were odd once too, that perhaps they always will be inside. You just help us to remember as much. Now more than ever, that means the world to me.

So thank you, long baby carrot, for reminding me that no matter what wretched machinations I'm put through, there's a fair chance I can keep hold of my self. That I too can make it through intact. Thank you.

[torusjuicerau]

Cold Press vs Centrifugal Juicers: Which One Delivers More Nutrition?

Juicing is a popular way to boost daily fruit and vegetable intake, offering a delicious and convenient way to nourish the body. But with a wide range of juicers available on the market, many Australians are left wondering—which type of juicer actually delivers more nutrition: cold press or centrifugal?

In this article, we’ll explore the differences between the two technologies, examine their impact on juice quality and nutritional content, and help you make an informed decision when looking to buy a cold press juicer online in Australia.

What is a Cold Press Juicer?

Also known as a masticating juicer, a cold press juicer slowly crushes and squeezes ingredients to extract juice. Instead of using high-speed blades, it relies on an auger system that operates at a low RPM (revolutions per minute). This slow juicing process minimises heat and oxidation, which are known to degrade essential nutrients.

Cold press juicers are especially popular among health-conscious individuals who want to preserve as much goodness as possible from their fruits, vegetables, and leafy greens.

What is a Centrifugal Juicer?

Centrifugal juicers use a high-speed spinning blade to shred produce while rapidly separating juice from pulp through centrifugal force. They’re often the cheaper and faster option, ideal for those who are short on time or just starting their juicing journey.

However, the high-speed mechanism introduces heat and air into the juice, which may reduce the quality, taste, and nutritional value.

The Nutritional Showdown: Cold Press vs Centrifugal

1. Nutrient Retention

One of the most important factors when choosing a juicer is how well it preserves nutrients. Studies show that cold press juicers retain more vitamins and enzymes, particularly heat-sensitive ones like vitamin C and certain antioxidants.

In contrast, centrifugal juicers often degrade these nutrients due to the heat and oxygen introduced during fast spinning.

Winner: Cold Press Juicer

2. Juice Shelf Life

Cold press juice can last up to 72 hours when stored properly in the fridge, while juice from centrifugal machines typically starts oxidising within a few hours.

The longer shelf life of cold press juice makes it a better option for those who prefer to juice in batches or prepare drinks ahead of time.

Winner: Cold Press Juicer

3. Juice Yield

Cold press juicers are far more efficient when it comes to extracting juice. They squeeze more liquid out of the same quantity of produce, especially from leafy greens like kale, spinach, or wheatgrass.

If you want to get the most juice for your money—especially from organic or premium produce—a cold press machine delivers better value over time.

Winner: Cold Press Juicer

4. Texture and Taste

Juice made with a cold press juicer tends to have a smoother texture, richer colour, and a fuller, more natural taste. It’s also less foamy and watery compared to juice from centrifugal machines.

If taste is a top priority, cold press juice offers a noticeably better experience.

Winner: Cold Press Juicer

5. Noise and Operation

Centrifugal juicers can be loud and disruptive, especially when processing hard vegetables like carrots or beetroot. Cold press juicers, on the other hand, are much quieter, making them ideal for early mornings or shared households.

Winner: Cold Press Juicer

Why Cold Press Juicers Are Growing in Popularity in Australia

More and more Australians are choosing cold press over centrifugal juicers because of the nutritional benefits and overall quality. As health trends continue to grow, so does the demand for appliances that support a balanced, nutrient-rich lifestyle.

When looking for the best cold press juicer in Australia, the Torus Solo Cold Press Juicer stands out as a leading choice. Designed for Aussie homes, it combines powerful performance with sleek design, easy cleaning, and reliable local support.

You can buy the Torus Solo cold press juicer online and have it delivered directly to your door—perfect for anyone ready to upgrade their juicing game in 2025.

Cost Comparison: Is Cold Press Worth the Price?

While centrifugal juicers are generally cheaper upfront, cold press juicers offer better long-term value through higher yield, less waste, and enhanced health benefits.

Over time, you'll save on produce, reduce waste, and enjoy superior juice quality—making the slightly higher initial investment a wise choice.

What to Consider When Buying a Cold Press Juicer

If you’re ready to buy a cold press juicer in Australia, here are a few things to look for:

Juice yield and extraction power – Choose a model known for squeezing the most out of each fruit and veggie.

Ease of cleaning – Some cold press models are easier to clean than others.

Warranty and local support – Go with a reputable brand that offers Australian-based customer service.

Size and noise level – Consider your kitchen space and noise sensitivity.

The Torus Solo Cold Press Juicer is an excellent choice for both beginners and seasoned juicers, thanks to its compact design, high efficiency, and five-year warranty.

Ready to Make the Switch?

Whether you’re new to juicing or looking to upgrade, it’s the perfect time to invest in a high-quality cold press juicer. Join the growing number of Australians choosing better health, less waste, and superior juice quality.

Visit Torus Cold Press Juicers to explore the Torus Solo—Australia’s favourite cold press juicer in 2025.