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am-i-obsessed---maybe · 3 years

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A Sense Of Normalcy Pt. 2 (Clark Kent x Wayne Male!Reader)

Part 2! Make sure you read Part 1 first cause otherwise you will have no clue what's going on.

Word count: Like 6-7k (ish) it's about the same length as part 1

Summery: Clark Kent was many things, a superhero, a reporter and also your very loving boyfriend. Not that your relationship hasn't caused strife with your brother (and Clark's friend) Bruce.

Warning: Like a tiny mention of homophobia, mention of weed and a lot of family drama and fluff.

It was around the six month mark of your relationship with Clark that you asked him to accompany you to a gala. You’ve kept your relationship mostly private until then and seeing as the media was more interested in Bruce’s dating life than yours it was fairly simple. But you thought six months was the time. Besides, you'd decided to do it in the most understated way possible. The two of you would go to the gala together and if asked (and you knew they’d ask), you would introduce Clark as your boyfriend.

So now with nervousness bubbling in Clark’s stomach he let you tie his bow tie.

“Are you sure about this? Because I’m fine with being introduced as your friend. I’ll hold back on the PDA” Clark said and you raised a brow.

“It’s time Clark. Besides, if we keep it understated we won’t have to answer too many questions with the press” You tried to tell him but he looked down at you and said, “Honey, I work at a newspaper. They are the press and they are going to ask questions” He said and you sighed. You wrapped your arms around Clark’s muscular stature.

“If you don’t want to do it that much, we don’t have to” You finally relented and Clark wrapped his hands around your waist.

“Y/N, I don’t- I’m just nervous. I’m not used to all this, dressing up and talking with a lot of people about nothing” He confessed and you looked into his ocean blue eyes. You adored this man so much sometimes. “I’ll be with you every second of this gala and if we need an escape there’s a button on my watch that triggers my phone to ring” You said, placing a light kiss to Clark’s lips. It was a short chaste kiss but it meant everything to him. You were on his side. You were willing to do anything to help him feel at ease.

“Besides, if you really don’t want to talk you can always be my arm candy” You teased and Clark scoffed.

“I am an exemplary journalist and superhero, I would never be caught dead being some business man’s silent dumb hunk, no matter how handsome said business man is” Clark retorted and leaned down to give you a passionate and loving kiss, only parting when he heard a loud “Yuck!” come from the doorway. You both turned your heads, still holding each other close. Dick stood in the doorway in an adorable little suit and blue converse that matched his blue bow tie. He was an adorable little kid except for the face of pure disgust he made when he saw the two of you kissing.

“Get a room!” The young ten year old said and you laughed dryly.

“We did. You came into it” You told your nephew who was quick to change the subject.

“Bruce said he’ll meet us there so I’m going with you two!” He said excitedly and you smiled as he dragged Clark off in the direction of the front door.

When you and Clark left the car with Dick in toe you confidently walked inside the venue. Your hand held onto Clark’s as you confidently walked passed paparazzi and gossip and celebrity reporters.

Once you made it inside the museum in which the event took place your hand moved from Clark’s hand to his waist.

“See, that wasn’t so bad” You said lightly and Clark rolled his eyes.

“Somehow I doubt that was the hard part” He retorted and you chuckled.

“You’ve got this” You told him in a private whisper and passed him a glass of champagne.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” He teased and you lightly hit him on the shoulder, laughing. You were so focused on Clark that you didn’t notice a man had come up to you.

“Mr. Wayne, I’m so happy you could make it” He said and you shook the hand he extended to you.

“It’s always a pleasure to see you Mr. Linken '' You replied, your other arm still around Clark’s waist.

“Clark, this is Anthony Linken. He leads Wayne Tech’s bioengineering branch” You said and then turned to Anthony. “Mr. Linken, this is my partner Clark Kent” You said and Clark extended his hand for Anthony to shake.

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Linken” Clark said though he felt the man’s discomfort with the handshake.

“Indeed.” Linken said, trying to cover up the coldness in his voice with a smile.

“Would this mean your brother won’t be joining us tonight?” Linken asked and you smiled. Clark could tell this was your fake corporate smile. You didn’t like Linken and neither did he.

“Bruce is a bit busy and will be late unfortunately. That’s why Richard came with us” You told Linken and began to walk away with Clark in toe.

“Speaking of, we’re going to go make sure he’s not getting into trouble” You told Anthony over your shoulder.

You led Clark to the other side of the museum. “Was that homophobic or…” Clark asked trailing off.

“Maybe, it definitely wouldn’t surprise me. Don’t mind him though. He’s one bad apple in a mostly decent tree” You told Clark. “I’m not sure that’s the saying honey” He replied, you both laughed and you jumped slightly when out of nowhere Bruce appeared next to you.

“Holy shit Bruce, you scared the daylights out of me” You said and for the first time that night your arm left Clark’s waist. You hugged your brother and noticed Dick standing impatiently beside his adopted father.

“Y/N can we go get juice?” The little boy asked and you looked to Clark. There was a silent question in your eyes, “Can I go?”. You weren’t really asking permission but making sure he was okay being left alone. When he nodded and smiled you took Dick’s hand to go find him some juice even if you knew something was up.

When you were out of earshot Bruce turned to Clark.

“If you’re gonna give me the shovel talk then I already know.” Clark said trying to stay lighthearted but it was difficult when Bruce stood beside him brooding.

“I don’t like it. I don’t like the idea of you and my brother, but Y’N’s made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t care” Bruce said and Clark nodded. His own mood shifted to a much more serious one.

“You’re smart Clark. You know that if you hurt him I will end you, I don’t need to tell you.” Bruce continued and Clark nodded.

“But I will anyway. I’ve caused him a lot of pain but I won’t let anyone else do the same. That means that you have to be careful because if he loses you, that will break him.” Bruce said and Clark looked at him, slightly stunned. This was one of the most emotional conversations he’s ever had with Bruce.

“Bruce-” He tried to say but your brother cut him off.

“Promise me that you’ll keep yourself safe.” Bruce insisted and Clark nodded.

“I promise” He said.

“Good.” Was all Bruce replied.

“Bruce. Thank you.” Clark said and Bruce stared at him. Clark couldn’t tell but Bruce was confused. The last thing he expected was for the reporter to thank him.

“You mean the world to Y/N and he’s told me about some of the fights you two have had about this. I worried that I was doing more harm than good by being with Y/N and I’m really thankful that you’re coming around” Clark elaborated and Bruce scoffed.

“Don’t push it Kent” The younger Wayne brother said but there was a lighthearted teasing mood to his comment and Clark laughed, raising his hands in a surrender motion.

“Whatever you say”

Eight months into your relationship with Clark you decided to surprise him. On a random Tuesday you walked into the daily planet in Metropolis with a beautiful bouquet of flowers in hand.

The secretary at the front desk told you where Clark’s desk was, you took the elevator and once you got to his floor you immediately saw him. He was tall and you saw him by his desk, talking to a woman and a kid, neither of which you recognized. As you walked out of the elevator and towards him, Clark noticed the flowers and more importantly you. He smiled and excused himself from who you assumed were his coworkers.

“What are you doing here?” He asked you once you were within ear shot.

“Surprise!” You exclaimed, giving him the flowers and a kiss.

“When did you get here?” He asked and you looked at your watch.

“I landed about two hours ago, got the flowers and came here” You said knowing full well Clark was questioning what you were doing in Metropolis.

“So Clark, are you going to introduce us to your mystery man or should I tell Ma Kent you lost your manners?” The woman Clark talked to earlier asked and you reached out your hand.

“I’m Y/N Wayne, it’s a pleasure to meet you Ms. Lane” You said and the woman -whom you recognized as the journalist Louis Lane- shook your hand.

“Does my reputation precede me or has Smallville talked about me?” She asked, shaking your hand and you muffled a laugh.

“I’d say a bit of both” You said and turned your eyes to the red haired teenager beside her.

“Y/N, these are Louis Lane and Jimmy Olsen” He finally introduced and you smiled.

“And this is my boyfriend Y/N Wayne.” Clark said, introducing you. Jimmy’s face brightened a bit. “Wayne as in Bruce Wayne? The billionaire?” He asked and you chuckled.

“That would be my younger brother, yes” You told Jimmy and he said something about cool and photographing the new Wayne tower but you weren’t paying too much attention as Clark led you past his coworkers and to his desk.

“You flew here just to surprise me?” He asked, putting the flowers down on his desk.

“Well, mostly. I have a few meetings here in the next few days for the opening of the new Wayne Tower so I came early, maybe we could spend some time together until then? It’s been a while since we’ve gone out in Metropolis” You mused. Clark smiled. “Of course, where are you staying? I’ll come by after work and we can go to that new sushi place I told you about” He suggested and you smiled sheepishly, leaning on his desk. “I was actually thinking maybe I could stay with you? I have a hotel room but-” Clark didn’t even wait for you to finish your sentence.

“Of course you can!” He said excitedly and you smiled bashfully. “I um, I have to get back to work but send me the name of your hotel. I’ll pick you up, we’ll go to dinner then to my place” He said and you kissed his cheek.

“Sounds like a plan” You said and he told you a bit about his day so far as he escorted you back to the elevator.

Once the metal door closed, he turned around to go back to his desk only to be met with Louis smirking confidently.

“You know when you told me you were going out with Y/N Wayne I had no idea what you’d see in what was probably a stuck up rich business man but I see it now. He’s a catch Smallville” She teased and Clark pushed his glasses up and blushed a bit at those words. “Yeah, he really is”

After almost two years of dating Clark you made plans to move in together. (Plans that Bruce hated)

Metropolis and Gotham were a drivable distance apart and any work you could do from Metropolis you’d do in the (not so) new Wayne Tower.

Bruce really didn't like this plan though. It made sense but Dick had moved to San Francisco to lead the Teen Titans and you moving to Metropolis meant he’d be alone in the manor.

Alfred was helping you pack your things before the moving company you hired to take them to yours and Clark’s new apartment arrived. You were finishing packing up your closet when Bruce came in.

“Need some help?” He asked and you shrugged.

“If you want to, you can grab a box and start putting all the books from the shelves in” You told him while taping up the last box of clothes. He did exactly that and when you came with another box to pack up a different shelf that you noticed something was wrong.

Alfred had gone to start packing up your office and you and turned to Bruce.

“What’s wrong copycat?” You asked. You had stopped packing, instead giving your brother your full attention.

“Nothing’s wrong” He answered and you sighed.

“Something’s wrong. You only look like that when something is wrong” You said and tried to focus on the books he was stacking in the box.

“I don’t look like anything. Everything is fine, I just thought you might want some help packing” He said and you rolled your eyes and continued to put your large reading collection into moving boxes.

“You know I’ll only be a call away, even if I don’t live here anymore. And I’ll still be in Gotham fairly often” You said as you taped up the box and Bruce didn’t look at you.

“I know that. We’ve gone over everything already Y/N” He said and you leaned on the now closed box.

“Then why do you look like there’s still something you wanna say? I grew up with you, remember? I know you better than anyone” You said softly. It was the same voice you used to calm Bruce down from the nightmares he had as a child. “It’s stupid. I’m a grown man” He mumbled and you smiled.

“Bruce, it’s okay to feel lonely now that I’m moving out” You told him. You put your hand on his shoulder as if to remind him that he can open up. He’s allowed to feel emotions.

“You know I hated living here when you left. I had Alfred close off some of the manor so that it wouldn’t feel so big. I hated walking past the portrait of the family in the foyer. I felt alone. Even with Alfred here. And with Dick going to California you’re allowed to feel that too” You told him and you could see Bruce struggling to stay stoic. You embraced him in a hug.

“You can let yourself feel these things Bruce. You’re still only human” You tell him in the soft voice you did when you two were kids and you feel him break. He chokes back a sob and cries into your shoulder and you just hold him. You held him the same way you did as kids when he snuck into your room after a nightmare. No matter how old the two of you get you;d always be his older brother. You’d always protect him.

After you moved out Bruce told you he took in another orphan boy. His name was Jason and you burst out laughing when he told you how Jason tried to steal the batmobiles tires. Jason was older than Dick was when Bruce took him in. He was already a pre teen and he had all the emotional range of one. He had some anger issues but Bruce told you they were working on it. You knew he was training Jason to become the new Robin. This time you said nothing. Even if you didn’t particularly like to hear about Batman you finally accepted it as part of your brother’s life. It took almost a decade but it happened.

Funnily enough you met Jason when Bruce brought him to Metropolis while visiting you. It was your birthday and you and Clark invited your family over to celebrate. Dick came a few days earlier and stayed with you and Clark in a guest room (since he flew across the country) while Bruce drove Jason with him from Gotham.

You sat in the living room catching up with Dick when there was a knock at the door. Before you could get up to get it Clark was already at the door. “Don’t worry, I got it” He called over his shoulder as he welcomed the visitors.

“I swear if it were possible I’d think he’s on a sugar high” You told Dick and the two of you laughed.

You expected Clark to come in with Bruce but instead you saw him with the boy who you recognized from photos was Jason. He was a short boy with a lot of attitude but now he was eagerly looking around your apartment and at your boyfriend. You then noticed Bruce trailing behind the two with a gift bag in hand. You got up to meet him with a hug.

“Thanks for coming” You told him once you released him from your grip and he presented you with the bag and a tiny smile.

“Happy birthday Y/N” He said and you smiled, taking the bag and placing it on a cabinet.

“If everyone’s here we can sit down and eat” You told everyone and Dick took that as his que to move to the dining table.

Not two years later you would get a call from Bruce telling you that the energetic spunky kid who called you uncle Y/N had died. He was only 15 and had been killed by the Joker.

You sobbed into Clark’s shoulder that night, crying yourself to sleep.

It had been the first death in the family since your parents and you were heartbroken. You took a break from work and moved back into the manor for a short time. Bruce practically forced you back home after a week. All he could think of was what you told him when Dick became Robin.

“If this was another grown adult I wouldn’t be here Bruce but he’s eight. I don’t give a rat’s ass about Batman, I care about the vulnerable kid you’re choosing to bring into it and I swear if something happens to him because of your stupidity I will bring your entire operation down and I will personally drag Batman through the mud.”

Even though you told him that Jason’s death wasn’t his fault. He told him not to go alone. He did what he could to keep Jason safe. Bruce knew he was putting the life of anyone who worked with him in danger. You didn’t even need to act on your threat. After Jason’s death Batman became reckless and angry. He was dragging his own image through the mud and made himself miserable in the process.

Five months after Jason’s death you felt like things in your life were returning to normal.

You still mourned the boy and you knew Bruce was miserable but you worked as usual and went back to living your regular life. It was on what you thought was a normal date night with Clark that you were proven wrong. The two of you had ordered your favorite take out and sat down to watch a movie and relax. You sat cuddled up on the couch, your head resting on Clark’s shoulder and his arm wrapped around your body, both in your pajamas when your boyfriend of almost three years said.

“It’s a beautiful night” And you hummed in agreement.

“I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes” He told you and you looked at him questioningly before doing as instructed. Before you could process what was going on you felt Clark pick you up and a gust of wind cool your skin. You held in a scream as you felt your feet touch the ground.

You opened your eyes to see the city of Metropolis below you. Lit up like a city that never sleeps. You turned around and saw you were on top of the Daily Planet, it’s beautiful gold globe behind you. When you turned back to Clark to ask what was going on you saw him on one knee holding a gorgeous ring.

Your eyes widened and you let out something between a laugh and a breath as you peered down at your boyfriend.

“Y/N Wayne, we have been together for just about three years. I love you with all my heart. You are kind and loving and have one of the biggest hearts I have ever encountered. I love falling asleep beside you each night and waking up beside you each morning. I love holding you in my arms and being held in yours. I love your sarcastic jokes and your cunning mind. And as I’m saying this I’m losing my words-” Clark said and as he got further along with his speech he became less and less sure of himself.

“But, I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you” He said and carefully wrapped your hands around his as he spoke. “Will you marry me?” He asked and you crashed into him with a hug, nodding.

“Yes Clark Kent, I will marry you” You whispered in his ear as you embraced and when you broke apart his lips crashed into yours for a passionate, loving kiss.

The first person you told about your engagement was Alfred. He was like a second father to you and you knew he would take it well. That is how you and your fiancé found yourselves sitting around the dining table with Bruce, Dick and Alfred. The ever sneaky family butler thought a family dinner was the best way to announce your engagement to your family.

“-That’s when we took the guy in and he was still trying to say that the bag wasn’t weed, it was oregano, we tested it and he was actually right! The sneaky bastard was trying to get a quick buck” Dick said, finishing a story from his new job as a police officer in Bludhaven. You looked at Clark and when he awkwardly nodded you took the lead.

“So, we actually have something to share” You announced and Bruce (who was still mad at Dick for his career choice) finally looked up from his plate.

“We’re getting married!” Clark exclaimed and Dick practically flew out of his seat to hug you.

“Congratulations!” He said and you smiled, finally pulling the ring out of your pocket.

Meanwhile Bruce was staring Clark down at the table. “Master Bruce?” Alfred asked but Bruce didn’t move. Neither did Clark, your fiancé simply matched your brother’s gaze.

“Bruce?” Dick asked, and still nothing.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Bruce, please don’t brood during my engagement dinner!” Your voice was the only thing that broke your brother out of whatever mental battle he was having with Clark. You walked around the table and looked down at Bruce waiting for some kind of response.

“Seriously?" You questioned and got no response. "You’re impossible.” You walked out of the room and to the guest room Alfred kept for you in the manor.

After you left Alfred, Dick and Clark all glared at Bruce before Clark finally stood up.

“I can understand why you might feel- whatever you’re feeling right now towards me but for god’s sake Bruce, be excited for Y/N.” He said and walked out, following you. Bruce just watched as he left and Dick came over to him and smacked him.

“Seriously? He is the only family you have left and you can’t even pretend to be happy for him? Even with all of our crap I thought you were better than this” The young man said and he too walked off, leaving only Bruce and Alfred in the dining room.

“If you’re going to scold me, go ahead.” Bruce finally said and Alfred simply shook his head as he began cleaning up the table.

“And what help would that do master Bruce? I believe Master Dick and Mr. Kent have already said what needed to be said”

“I’m happy for him” Bruce admitted and Alfred shook his head.

“I am not the one you have to convince.”

“Alfred-” Bruce tried to argue but the butler simply put the plates he was carrying down and looked down at him. “Y/N has given every piece of himself to this family in your absence. He gave Master Dick an uncle, Wayne Enterprise a CEO, The public a figure to see the Waynes were still in Gotham and you Master Bruce, he has given you an example. While he may not have supported everything you do he’s stayed by your side. But when he found the person with whom he wishes to spend his life you couldn’t stay by his.” Alfred said passively and took the dirty plates to the kitchen. Bruce soon left too, he wandered the halls of his childhood home and thought. He never tried to think of what you'd done for him before. You were always there, helping him, for as long as he could remember but after what Alfred said he took the time to think.

When he disappeared for seven years to train himself, you held down the fort in Gotham, you finished your own education, took over the company and gave reasons as to why Gotham’s favorite prince had fallen off the face of the earth. When he came back you embraced him and only asked that he stay this time. When he became Batman you ignored and even despised the bat but you continued to support Bruce. When he adopted Dick you did your best to support the boy in ways Bruce couldn’t. You kept his secrets and came around to his crusade. So why couldn’t he do the same for your relationship? After all, Clark was a good man. Bruce trusted him with his life but refused to trust him with the love of his older brother? It was at that point that Bruce found the family portrait you insisted stay up in the manor. The large one in the foyer.

Bruce didn’t remember the day, he was only four or five but you were older. Martha sat on a high backed chair with Bruce on her knee and Thomas stood proudly beside her. One hand on his wife’s shoulder and the other on his eldest son’s. You were all smiling, one complete, happy family. He had to make this right.

You and Bruce had developed a code after he came back to gotham. If one of you text each other CB you meet at the closest balcony. CB of course stands for code blue and refers to a conversation the two of you had as kids.

One day you both snuck out the window and sat on the roof while your parents were out at a gala and Bruce asked what color the air was. You were ten and after much deliberation decided that the sky was full of air and the sky was blue so logically so was air. You never told a soul. Not even Alfred knew so when Bruce texted you CB after the fight at dinner you sighed and kissed Clark's cheek. “I’ll be back in a bit” You said and he looked confused.

“Where are you going? I thought you said we’d wait till the morning and head home then?” Your fiancé said and you nodded.

“I’m not leaving the manor, I just have to talk some sense into my baby brother” You said and you smiled before Clark could even say anything.

“It’ll be fine love, I’ll be back soon. If you need anything Alfred’s downstairs” You said and left, quickly walking to the part of the balcony closest to yours and Bruce’s rooms.

The balcony overlooked the forest around Wayne manor and by the time you got there Bruce was already waiting with two cups of tea.

You didn’t say anything, just took one of the cups and leaned on the rail.

“I’m sorry” Bruce said quietly and you smiled.

“That’s pretty open ended” You said, smirking and taking a sip of your tea. You could hear Bruce groaning.

“I’m sorry for being a jerk about your engagement. I’m happy for you. I'm just an emotionally stunted man child. That good enough for you?” He asked sarcastically and you chuckled.

“More regretting not recording that but yes.” You said and you could see Bruce fidget slightly.

“I don’t know why you reacted that way. Honestly I feel like I don’t know much about you anymore, but I want you in my life copycat so contrary to some of my behaviors I take your acceptance of my partner very seriously” You said sincerely and Bruce smiled at the old nickname.

“Clark is a good man.” Bruce said and you smiled, looking down at the band on your finger. The clear stone shining in the moonlight. “I love him, He’s one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met and I want to spend the rest of my life with him” You said and you were sure Bruce was trying not to make a face or sarcastic comment.

“Who's taking what name?” Bruce asked and you smiled.

“We’re actually not gonna do that. Branding and stuff” You joked and you could see Bruce relax once again. A barely visible difference but one you could still recognize. At the end of the day you still knew him well enough.

“That’s progressive” He jokes along and you chuckled.

“Wait till you hear the actual wedding plans” You replied and he looked a tad scared before you broke out laughing. “It’s not actually bad! We want something private so we’re probably gonna do it on his parents' farm. Just family and close friends, press announcement after the honeymoon, something small” You explained and Bruce nodded.

“Sounds like you” Your brother said and you rolled your eyes, turning around and leaning your back against the rail.

“You should really patch things up with Dick” You said and Bruce sighed.

“When did we switch topics?” “Just now when I told you to stop being a child and work things out with your son” You scolded your brother and he looked down. “Are you happy with how everything turned out?” Bruce asked and this time you looked at him confused, waiting for him to elaborate.

“Every once in a while I think about what things would be like if that night in the alley didn’t happen. If we grew up normal. Mom and dad would still be here, no Batman or Robin, I think I’d still find Dick and Jason, you wouldn’t be nearly as stressed because mom would have helped you with the company and they’d be proud of me no matter what I’d decide to do” He confessed and you smiled sadly.

“They are proud of you Bruce.” You told your brother and you thought for a second the look in his eyes was that of the broken child he was after that night in the alley.

“Are you sure-” You cut Bruce off with a tight hug. “I’m sure copycat. Because I’m proud of you and dad always said I take after mom so I’d know” You told him.

A year after yours and Clark’s wedding you sat anxiously in your shared apartment in Metropolis and stared at your phone. Clark was currently at lunch with his best friend Louis Lane to ask the single biggest thing he’d ever asked her.

You and Clark knew you wanted children one day. You always wanted a family and so did Clark. Although you only really started discussing your options after the wedding. As two men there were really only two options for you.

That’s why you were staring at your phone waiting for it to ring, because your husband was asking his best friend if she’d be your surrogate.

When eventually your phone did light up and buzzed with an incoming call you jumped off the couch and picked up.

“How’d it go? What’d she say? Did she agree?” You bombarded Clark with questions the second you picked up and you heard a chuckle which you assumed was Louis overhearing you.

“She said yes!” Clark said, trying (and not particularly succeeding) at keeping his voice low. At his answer you literally jumped for joy. And 11 months later you sat in a hospital room gazing down at the little bundle in your arms. Bright blue eyes looked back up at you curiously. Clark’s bright blue eyes. The little bundle with wisps of black hair on his head cooed and began to cry. You smiled and adjusted your hold on your son as you rocked him back and forth to calm him down.

“It’s okay Jon, Dada’s here, you’re safe and sound.” You whispered as Clark walked in. He came up behind you and looked down at his son in your arms. “He’s perfect” He said and you nodded.

“He has your eyes” You told him, Jon had finally calmed down and was sucking on his thumb.

It took Jon thirty hours to come into the world, Louis was exhausted by the time his first cry filled the room and after meeting the young boy she fell asleep. You had taken Jon to another room so that she could rest.

“Bruce said he’s almost here, he had to pick Dick up on the way” Clark informed you and you smiled.

“How do you think he’ll react to the name?” You asked and Clark chuckled, caressing your baby’s cheek.

“Hopefully better than you think” He said and kissed your cheek.

“Speaking of I hear footsteps down the hall and I think this is the perfect time for me to hold our son for a bit” He joked and you carefully gave Jon to Clark as you walked out.

"You better not pass that sneakiness to our baby, Clark” You teased before shutting the door and meeting Bruce and Dick down the hall.

“I wanna see the baby!” Dick said excitedly, you’d forget he was 19 if he wasn’t so tall. “Before that, rules. I don’t think either of you have seen a newborn up close before and I am not taking chances” You said and laid down three simple rules. “1. No yelling. Louis -who actually birthed the baby- is sleeping in the next room over and the baby is somewhere between sleeping and awake.

2. No insults to anybody. Not to Clark, not to each other, not to anyone. If you don’t have something nice to say, don't say it. And finally,

3. You do exactly as I say. No ifs ands or buts.” When both men nod you lead them into the room where Clark is sitting by the window with Jon.

“Bruce, Dick, this is Jonathan Kent-Wayne” You tell the boys and both Bruce and Dick look down in awe at the little bundle in Clark’s arms.

“You hyphenated the names” Bruce points out and you nod.

“It’s simpler. He can choose who he wants to be when he’s older” Clark explains and Bruce looks to you and then to Clark.

“Can I hold him?” He asks and you both nod. Clark instructs Bruce on how to support the baby’s neck and you watch proudly as your baby brother holds his nephew in his arms. You wrap your arms around Clark and lean onto his shoulder as you watch Dick coo at the baby in his adopted father’s arms. “I don’t think he minds the name” You whisper to Clark and he lays his head on yours.

“Jonathan Kent-Wayne is going to be one special kid” Clark says and you smile. “Just like his dads” You say.

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walkuntilthedaylight · 3 years

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The people have spoken! How can I not give them what they want?

I'm gonna put this all under a cut, since it's a bit long, and also because it's highly interpretative/speculative and not everyone likes those kinds of posts as they can be rather subjective and, I suppose, invasive. I want to give two major caveats to my thoughts below: first is that I tend not to buy the idea that Paul was the "stable/normal" Beatle, mostly b/c I view marijuana dependency and workaholism as addictions and I take them pretty seriously. Second is that I really do love this kind of tabloid/gossip/personal account shit; I think it should be taken with a handful of salt, but I don't think it should be entirely dismissed out of hand either. I read this stuff like I'm piling up sheets of stained glass: I'm intrigued by the places where the colours blend and overlap, and ignore things that fall outside the prism. Anyway, let's dig in:

Okay, so what I found fascinating about 'Body Count' is that it's one of the only sources which observes Paul McCartney's mental health during the period between the India trip and when the band breakup really got rolling. I think it's overall a fairly self-absorbed text that definitely has some lies and exaggerations peppered in there to make things spicier and more dramatic, but its broad characterization - as I mentioned in my first post - isn't exactly libelous or out of left field. Some elements that make me think it's generally if not wholly authentic are: Paul's simultaneously forceful and dorky seduction style, his terrible Liverpool diet and poor housekeeping, the bouts of thrill-seeking recklessness, avoidant adventure crafting, dark moods when drinking non-socially, the occasional hot and cold bouts with the Apple Scuffs camped out at his gate, and the way in which he underplays his drug habit, which is SO "in truthfulness we spent most of the filming of Help! slightly stoned":

These details are so bizarrely specific and have significant overlap with both sympathetic and spurned personal accounts of Paul I've read in the past, so I believe Francie is just telling "Her Version Of The Truth" here rather than crafting a piece of pure fiction. The most important and revealing anecdote in the book is this one.

There's no reason not to believe this is a fairly accurate representation of something that actually happened, imo, since we know that anxious purse strings were an ongoing issue in the unusual turnover rate within the band Wings, and there are plenty of confirmed and rumoured cases alike of extended family members feeling entitled to a "piece of the pie"; this is just like, the kind of thing that happens to working class people who get catapulted into fame and fortune. And Paul in particular already had deep-seated financial anxiety for whatever reasons he'll never fully admit (as is his right, but I think his offhand claim that he "once heard some adults arguing about money and that's why" might actually be alluding to having heard some adults - y'know, like his parents - arguing over money fairly frequently). What esp interests me about the anecdote is the way Paul seems to connect the conflict b/t his dual "identities" with these financial expectations. Perhaps the CAPSLOCK emotional hysteria related in the book is puffed up for drama, but it does bring to mind one of the most revealing comments Linda ever made about their relationship, which is that Paul needed to be told he would still be loved when the cameras weren't rolling. And that's the thing: Francie caught Paul at the exact moment that the pillars of his Smile-For-The-Camera "Beatle" identity were collapsing; the dissolution of his relationships with John and Jane.

Whatever all this could possibly mean re: the breakup of the Lennon-McCartney partnership is a post for another time. What I wanna do instead is apply the level of speculation we usually reserve for that relationship to the endpoint of Paul and Jane's courtship.

So like, Paul and Jane: I know people are resistant to this specific POV, but I honestly just don't... think it was that deep? "Not deep", mind you, doesn't mean "not significant". Paul was obviously Jane's first love (u never forget), but the feeling I get from Paul's side (as a subconscious process I mean) is that Jane's importance was primarily as a lynchpin in his London Socialite persona. He loved her family, he loved the friend group, the artistic scene dating her gave him access to, as well as the leg up he got in the class system, etc. He liked to be the kind of guy who was dating Jane Asher. But I don't know that he was the guy who was dating Jane Asher, you get me? When people describe their "great love" they accidentally tell on them (Cynthia innocently describing Paul as being pleased to have her on his arm like a trophy; John: "it was an ordinary love scene"; Alistair Taylor noting that Paul was humiliated by the breakup). Paul's a serial monogamist who U-Hauls like a lesbian, of course, so he definitely took the relationship VERY seriously, but it's telling that all of his love songs to her were either about hitting a brick wall in arguments (certainly not dreamy, fond, yearning of "sunday morning fights about saturday night"; and occasionally expressing hints of class tension too), or completely non-descript Guy With A Guitar Trying To Get Laid shit. I could extrapolate a lot about Linda just from listening to McCartney I/RAM and the Wings discography, but 'And I Love Her' doesn't tell me a single thing about Jane besides that she's pretty. It could be about literally anyone the same way 'My Love' or 'Maybe I'm Amazed' could only be about his dynamic with Linda. Some of this is obviously the natural result of getting older and gaining emotional maturity; what I'm saying is that Paul's behaviour and self-expression in this relationship does not suggest to me that it was one in which his emotional maturity was able to develop or flourish.

I want to stress again that I don't think this belittles the significance of the relationship or makes it "bad" or "fake". Like, sometimes hot people just date for a while in their teens and twenties and love each other without necessarily unlocking their inner emotional cores, usually because they don't know how to. It's, like, fine. You need to experience relationships like that as stepping stones. I simply believe that this sort of front-facing social importance being prime in the romance is a major factor in why it ultimately didn't work (and probably in Linda's reported lingering jealousy of Jane, who wasn't just an ex, but also a symbol of the life Paul ditched to build a new identity w/ her, and sometimes still pined for). With Jane, Paul was dating the "right" kind of girl (didn't put out on the first date, erudite and middle class, as serious about her career as he was, a good "celebrity" match), but the relationship often wasn't doing what he wanted it to do. Francie's observation is that by 1968 it also wasn't doing what he needed it to do either. This is the overwhelming "mood" in her affair with Paul McCartney: that he needed something very badly from a romantic partner that he just was NOT getting, and Francie couldn't figure out what it was either:

(note that she means "queer" as in "mad", not "gay")

This was an EXTREMELY roundabout way of asking: well, what WAS it that Paul needed a relationship to do for him? And I think this is Francie's big, accidental insight. The most scandalous claim in 'Body Count' is that Paul told Francie that he hit Jane and it "turned her on".

I personally think this is p. absurd absent any real proof to back it up, but like, what is Francie actually saying HE'S saying here? If she's exaggerating or lying, she's trying to make it believable within the psychological parameters laid out, right? It's not an expression of some secret desire to dominate women she's accusing him of, but emotional disturbance and confusion at the idea that the woman he was with might like that sort of forceful, masculine violence more than his softer, feminine side, which he was - yeah, we all know it - deeply insecure about.

Regardless of whether specific details are true or false (and I think there's both in this story, all hyper-magnified to make it, y'know, a ~STORY~), I think what might be true is the emotional undertow of the retelling, that this all taken together is actually representative of the side of Paul McCartney she was exposed to, at a time when his public and private facades had both become unbearable to the point of cracking and the drug-fueled optimism of the Summer of Love was getting scrubbed off of everyone and everything. It's the Paul McCartney who eviscerated frogs because he was worried he was too "soft" for compulsory military service. The Paul who modelled his masculine teen behaviour off John Lennon's fake "Marlon Brando" swagger, but was actually more fond of the velvet "Oscar Wilde" interior.

What's SO FASCINATING about all this to me, is I deeply believe that one of the key factors in what makes The Beatles music so unique and compelling is that both the songwriters experienced psychological strain from the tension b/t their parochial socially-defensive "masculine" pride, and their sensitive "feminine" core, the latter of which they were able to express in the unburdened emotionality of their music. The reason I care about doing these totally unhinged psych analyses is because I do think it reveals something about the underpinnings of the music, as well as the reasons why the band was such a hysteria-inducing phenomenon (the rise of psychology, imo, is almost as important as the rise of industrialization as a defining factor of the modern and postmodern eras; mass psychology can be understood and wielded in precise ways, and The Beatles were one of the first empires built on that). The subconscious drives caused by this tension have been ENDLESSLY picked apart re: John's psyche, but Paul's "mirrored" issues are very under-discussed (mostly b/c he's still alive so people are a little more leery about putting him on the "couch" as a historical figure). 'Body Count', intentionally or not, painted a portrait to me of someone who was drowning in their own ill-fitting celebrity "suit", collapsing under the weight of "Being" "Paul McCartney". A guy who desperately needed some sort of space to be vulnerable without feeling emasculated for doing it. By 1968, there was no one in his life anymore - and maybe there hadn't been for a while, or ever - who was giving him this space.

In other words: the thing he needed to avoid going "stark raving queer and killing himself" was simply someone who would love him 'after the ball'.

EDIT: read the comments for further clarification and discussion! ;)

#/#//#///#////#/////#the beatles #mccharmley #analysis #long post #Talking About Paul The Way I Talk About John lmfao #Taking Tabloid Bullshit Seriously #(if not literally)#*gets out my fake spectacles and jumps into the psychiatry armchair*#idk if i laid out my thoughts v well here but i hope it satisfied all the people who asked #i also tried to warn what genre of post it was for those who hate this kinda thing lol #i feel like i have more to say re: how toxic 'The Beatle' facade got for all of them by this point #and paul and john's mirrored post-india breakdowns #but francie's perspective is specifically on how it felt to be the girl he used to divebomb his relationship with jane asher SO

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 years

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Thank you for your response re James, very insightful and I agree with you completely. I think people assume Rose and James are friends because they have so many mutual friends. What's interesting is when Adam asked Rose what it's like to be talked about in someone else's work, she made a pointed comment that it's a good question that no one has bothered to ask her, not even her comedian friends who still have not asked her how she feels about it. That made me think of Nish and Ed.

...I’m adding a “keep reading” link before I answer this message, entirely because it somehow feels slightly more acceptable to make guesses about strangers’ personal lives if I put it behind one extra click so it’s very slightly less “public”.

Okay I have to admit I have wondered about this, and not written about it here because that's getting really into celebrity gossip and Things that Are Not My Business, but it's still crossed my mind. I think because this particular bit of celebrity gossip seems really grounded in something that happens in "real" life all the time. Two people in a friend group break up. Mutual friends aren't just going to end the friendship with either but then they have to figure that out. Just about everyone has been in that situation at some point. I've been in that situation, mostly as one of the neutral friends, and it sucks.

...Actually, as I write this, I've thought about what side of this situation I've normally been on, and I've realized it's as a coach of a team. Which is obviously different from this, but I've only just now thought of this and realized why I have such a clear idea of what things like that do to a group - it's because I've seen it in a group where I'm outside and watch all the dynamics at play and am responsible for trying to fix it if I want to keep all my athletes and keep the team strong and united (in addition to the fact that I’ve sometimes seen this situation while being a neutral party when my own friends have broken up). If two athletes on my team break up, I make sure the one who's been on the team for less time, especially if they were already dating the other athlete before they joined the team, gets lots of help from the coach and investment in their own individual path through the sport in the aftermath of that. Otherwise, the risk is that they feel like they were accepted onto the team as [___'s girlfriend or boyfriend], and now that they're not that anymore we won’t want them.

I've just realized I have probably projected my own experience with that onto my assumptions about these people I've never met, and that's why I haven't written about those assumptions on this blog before - you can assume whatever you like about strangers but should be at least a bit careful about writing it down when you don't know what you're talking about and these are real people. I am hypocritically breaking that rule, because I have gotten messages asking me about it and honestly I've had a bad day and feel like engaging in some inane assumption making about strangers is a nice distraction.

I did think of that a bit when I watched Starstruck, where the main character, who's played by, written by, and lightly based on Rose, starts saying she moved from New Zealand to England when she had a boyfriend in England, but then the relationship ended and she was left with no deep ties there and her family and life is back in NZ, so she may as well go back to New Zealand. I think at some point the character even said she'd had a life beyond her boyfriend in England, but that life was all wrapped around him (ie. being friends with his friends), and now that's gone. She doesn't end up going back to NZ, because she decides to stay and do a "will they or won't they" thing with a movie star, and I assume that's where similarities end. But I wondered if part of that was autobiographical.

Okay, before I end this post I’m going to delve deeper than I probably ever before into celebrity gossip, because I never thought I would be a person to notice who sits where at an awards show and read stuff into that. Again, I’ve had a bad day and distractions are nice and I’m pretty sure (by “pretty sure” I mean “hope to God and if I ever hear otherwise I will be off this website with my blog deleted so fast”) none of the people involved frequent Tumblr so I’m not doing any harm. I did also think of that while watching the British Comedy Awards a couple of months ago, when the camera kept showing all the comedy people in the audience, who were all sitting with their friends.

What happened there only stuck out to me because I have seen that exact situation happen at two different awards nights that I’ve attended myself, and watching Rose at the British Comedy Awards reminded me so much of that that it felt weird to watch. Every year after our varsity national championships, the athletes, coaches, refs, and administrators in my sport come together to honour the hard work and achievements that have marked our sport in the last year, to bond over our shared love for what we do, and to strengthen our community.

Obviously I’m joking; they come together to get drunk, gossip and generally talk shit, and make bad decisions about hooking up with people from other teams, thereby creating more things for others to gossip about in the future and more reasons for the next year’s awards night to be awkward. Anyway, at two of those awards nights, I have watched two members of an ex-couple sit at different tables, and their mutual friends who have tried to remain neutral about the breakup have had to sit at one table or the other. This did compromise the neutrality they’d tried to maintain.

That’s what I thought of when I watched the 2022 British Comedy Awards, in which people from the same show sat with their fellow cast members, but also people who don’t specifically work together and are just known to be friends sat together, and sometimes you could see people running around to different tables seeing different people. The only person who was shown sitting by herself at a table every time the camera panned to her was Rose Matafeo. The camera also kept showing Ed Gamble and James Acaster sitting together, highlighting that you can have a couple break up and both of them keep the mutual friends, but you still end up with one person “winning” the friends whenever those friends have to choose between them.

This may also lead to something like one person behaving in a not great way towards the other, like writing about them in a book without even telling them much less asking them, and the person who has that done to them not being able to talk about it because all their friends are also their ex’s friends. And that sucks. It makes me want to give Rose Matafeo a nice cup of tea, perhaps with some whiskey in it, depending on preference.

Again, heavy disclaimer that I don’t know what I’m talking about and I’m just making assumptions that I really shouldn’t make and I don’t think anyone involved in this is an awful person, in fact if any of my assumptions are correct then they’re all exceedingly normal people behaving in exceedingly normal ways. But it does sound like Rose said some stuff in an interview with Adam Buxton that lends validation to the baseless assumptions I’ve made about those people, so that’s cool. Nice distraction on a bad day. Maybe I will seek out that interview.

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torifeelslikewritingagain · 4 years

Text

Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Fred and you have never been sure of your feelings for one another.

Word Count: 7,823

Warnings: A bit of bad lenguage, and slow burn(?

A/N: This is the first thing I’ve written in 6-7 years, so let me know what y’all think, I’d appreciate it a lot:) Also, forgive any grammar mistakes, english isn’t my native lenguage, haha

GIF credit: @fgweasley

Fred liked looking at you from afar.

He liked the way how you were different from all the other Slytherins even though you actually were like the rest of them.

Since your first year at Hogwarts, he’d taken a liking towards you. Of course at the beginning that liking was just friendly, he liked that he didn’t feel the need to punch you in the face, he’d never admit it tho, not even to George since they’d been taught to mistrust those in your house; but during that first year he’d always notice how you were the only Slytherin in the room who wouldn’t talk in class unless you were asked to by the teacher, he liked that you didn’t look at him or at George with despise. Of course, there were also times where the thought of you quietly and discretely planning a mass murder would cross his head, but you never gave a reason to worry that his suspicions were actually true.

Fast forward to your 3rd grade, after the winter break, he noticed in the platform how much your parents would actually show you their affection, that was also weird for the majority of the Slytherin kids he could recognize, and it wasn’t until that moment that George noticed him looking at you that he said:

“Oi, we’ve never pranked her, have we? Maybe we should pay more attention this year”

Fred felt terrible in that moment for having put you on George’s radar, he didn’t want to pull a prank on you, right? Although, to say the least, he was curious at how you’d react, after all, you weren’t insufferable like the most of your house, but you also weren’t the quiet mouse that you were during your first year, he’d seen you become more social, he’d notice how you would actively participate in Divination class asking Professor Trelawney real questions instead of mocking her like the rest of the students. He’d also see you talking to Abigail Rosier during dinner and often times he’d see you walking around the castle with her, so he concluded she must have been your best friend.

One night after dinner, when your fourth year was beginning, he was sneaking away from Filch, until he overheard Malfoy yelling at someone:

“… keep defending them?”

“Because you insist on being a bloody cunt to them for no goddam reason!” It was the first time he had ever heard you say bad words, or even angry, you’d usually keep a neutral aura that was sometimes disrupted by your friends being funny or by him and George who had gotten a like to pull little harmless pranks on you. “They’re wizards too, Malfoy. Their blood status shouldn’t matter to you or anyone, that’s none of our business, they are just like us”

“Speak for yourself, I’m nothing like those blood-traitor weasels or that mudblood…”

“You’re right, the Granger girl is smarter than you could ever dream to be” In that moment he picked up what was happening, you, (y/n) Lafington, were defending his little brother and his friends, and you weren’t even friends. Were you? Did you think that them pranking you was being friends?

“My father will hear about this”

“Well, make sure to send him and your mother my love” He saw Malfoy starting to walk away “You’re children Malfoy, you don’t have to do this, leave them alone” He heard that last phrase with a smile on his face, now he could actually tell George that he liked you.

…

After the hallway incident, he rushed to tell George and Lee, who didn’t believe him; so he saw himself forced to subject to his brother the question if you were in fact, trash or not.

“Lafington?” Ron asked George back

“Isn’t she the girl who is always talking back to Malfoy?” Inquired Harry “You know, the one who is always around the chaser… eh.. Pucey!”

“Yeah! She is! I’ve talked to her in the library, we’re trying to convince McGonagall t…” At that point Fred had stopped listening, he was just happy to prove George and Lee that what he had seen was real, but he wasn’t so happy to hear that you were hanging around with someone as despicable as Adrian Pucey.

A few days later Fred noticed himself paying more attention to you, George did too.

“Just go talk to her”

“And say what? I was walking around the castle and decided to spy on you and Malfoy so now I want to say thank you for looking out for my brother and his friends when I couldn’t?”

“That’s not so bad, actually” George smirked, Fred felt immensely stupid, he couldn’t figure out what was it that he found so difficult about talking to you. “But if you’re not going to do anything, I guess that Adrian Pucey will” With that said, George walked away, making sure to bump into you, he apologized and smiled to you, as he kept walking, he turned to Fred to make sure he was watching, so he decided to seize the opportunity his twin created for him and approached you.

...

By the start of your fifth year, you had kind of developed a friendship. You liked the twins, you liked how at the end of last year they had sticked up for you when everyone turned against the Slytherins because of the Chamber of Secrets thing, you grieved the disappearance of their sister and celebrated when she was found, you liked how they didn’t take life too seriously and would always be there to make you smile.

You liked how George would give you sweets when he had any on him, you also liked how much of a good listener he was, he was always there to hear you ramble about astrology, Slytherin’s gossip or a random book you had found at the library, out of the two of them, you were closer to him since Fred always seemed to have a weird face on when you were around, but it didn’t bother you that much, so you paid no mind. You also liked how both of them didn’t make fun of you when you told them that you liked quidditch even though you didn’t know much about the teams, you liked playing it mostly, not watching.

Fred liked that about you too, so when you told the twins that Pucey was helping you train to try and join the Slytherin team that year, he felt his chest shrunk in relief, you weren’t flirting with Adrian, you were just being mates, after all, Slytherin is the most loyal house, and you all looked out for each other.

You made your way into the team as a chaser, the twins were happy for you, and you were thriving! Quidditch had come sort of therapeutic for you, you loved the rush it brought when you were riding your broom so far from the ground, the sensation of danger when you knew that one the bludgers might hit you, you also loved the idea of getting out in an accepted way the rage that was always boiling inside of you.

Honestly, quidditch was the best thing that could have happened to you, it helped you to finally ditch what was left of your shell, as the season advanced everyone could notice how you were becoming more outspoken, more assertive, more popular; that didn’t mean that you were immune to the dementors watching around the castle, though. You just felt the need to express everything you were feeling, whether it was good or bad. And having those creatures around did affect you, despite to what everyone might have thought, you could be spotted arguing with Malfoy more often, you wouldn’t wait to keep things in the Slytherin common room anymore, you would just explode at any given moment. Professor McGonagall was worried about you, you’d always been one of her favorite students in your year, Snape on the other hand, was watching your character development rather amused, he told McGonagall that it was just matter of time that you actually started behaving like a real Slytherin, to what she refused to believe that he was right, so she decided to take the matters into her own hands.

“Professor, I swear on Merlin’s beard that we haven’t done anything punish-worthy in the last three days” Fred said while he and George sit at Professor McGonagall’s desk.

“Yeah, whatever happened to Filch has nothing to do with us this time” The professor looked at George in confusion to whatever it was that they had done this time, she hadn’t called them in for any of that matters.

“Mr. Weasley” she started “I actually called you and your brother for a different reason this time, although I would very much like to know what you did this time in order to automatically be defending yourselves. I wanted to speak to you about Miss Lafington”

“(Y/n)?” Asked Fred

“Yes, Mr. Weasley. I’ve noticed that you are rather close to her, and well, since she is one of my best students, I feel a little bit concerned about her attitude and mood lately”

This year you didn’t share your favorite classes with Gryffindor, which meant that the twins would often see the more reserved version of you in the classroom when the topic wasn’t of your particular interest, so Fred started to worry a little when Professor McGonagall said that; where you skipping class? Were you failing? He and George sat there in silence.

“Nothing unfixable, I want to assume, so I ask you both to remove that awful look from your faces. My guess is that the presence of the dementors, those terrible creatures, has been affecting your friend, as you may notice, a good portion of your classmates. So, as your head of house, I’m asking you to keep an eye on your friend and one of my dearest students”

“So, you want us to prank her more often” George asked with a smirk on his face.

“Mr. Weasley, please, be serious. I’m asking you to not let these things affect that girl more than they should. I’ve noticed that quidditch has become and outlet for her but it can only last so long, so maybe try getting her out of the dungeons and the aura that surrounds her house for a little bit. Distract her, put some positive thought in her head”

“I understand, Professor” Fred nodded, he felt that McGonagall was overreacting a bit, you all were growing and asserting your characters after all, but he did notice you a little more irritable than usual. “Count on us”

“Good” She concluded “Now, go to class” The twins went for the door and just when they were about to close it “And know that you both have detention today for whatever you did to Mr Filch”

…

Fred had no idea how to approach you without spilling the conversation he had with Professor McGonagall, so he let George do the wonder while he just kept looking at you from afar as he always had. He didn’t know why, but every day he looked at you, he swore that you looked better than the day before, sure, you had eye bags and looked tired from all the training, but he found you mesmerizing even when you had your hair up in a bun that looked like a bird’s nest. And he could notice all the boys were noticing you, too, now he didn’t only have to worry about Adrian Pucey, no, now he’d also had Lee, who found you extremely badass, Cedric Diggory, who was on the Hufflepuff team and had been asking about you to some of the younger Gryffindor girls, knowing that Fred & George would talk about you in the common room, even Oliver had taken an interest towards you because of how you played; the quidditch boys in general, he didn’t worry about Marcus Flint, though, he knew that he was too ugly for you.

So he kept his distance, as a friend could, of course. You’d hang out with him and George more often as Fred tried to sort out his feelings for you. Was he still just curious about you? Or had he actually started developing something more than platonic? He knew that you were amazing, and he was glad that people had finally noticed you, but he’d also feel bummed out by that sometimes, he felt that one day you might stop talking to him and George. He worried about what you thought of him, mostly, because he knew that he wasn’t as good friend to you as George was, but it was because he didn’t want you to look at him just as a friend, did he?

Meanwhile, you were enjoying the extra time with the twins, by the end of the school year you had even helped them come up with some ideas for the joke products that they had started designing, you still liked having them around among most of the new people in your life. You felt infuriated when you didn’t win the house cup, Fred reassured you that your game was good, it just was Wood’s last season and no one loved quidditch more than he did. So one week before going on summer holidays, they asked you if you wanted to come to the Quidditch Cup with them and their family, you weren’t sure, so you said that you missed your parents and went home.

During the summer you wrote to both of them, and Fred insisted that you joined them on their trip, but you didn’t want to be a bother, what if you didn’t fit it? What if their parents didn’t like you? What if all of their family hated you because you were a Slytherin? They assured you that you wouldn’t have to worry about a thing, that their mum would love you and their dad would, too.

On the other hand, you were nervous about even asking your own parents, they didn’t hate the Weasleys or any other “blood traitors” in particular, they didn’t care about those things, but they hated drama, that’s why they would keep low profiles and had taught you to do the same. You hanging out with the Weasleys at school? No problem, teens could always be spreading rumors, but you knew that showing up with them at an event like the Quidditch World Cup would be interpreted as an statement, and you knew how delicate things were getting politically, so you obviously felt uneased to say the least, you loved your parents, and you knew the values that they had taught you, but you also were aware of the kind of world were you grew up in, a world where people like the Malfoys would find themselves trying to be pleased by everyone out of fear.

You didn’t respond to the twins for three weeks while you meditated your next move, you were dying to see them, but was that urge stronger than your loyalty to your family?

…

Turns out your mom had seen you so down that she decided to go around your stuff and found the twins’ letters. When you came home from spending a few days with Abby she welcomed you with the letters in hand at the tea room. “Well, that’s it. It was fun while it lasted” You thought to yourself, but much to your surprise your mother encouraged you to go with them.

“There was only one boy who wrote to me like this, and that boy grew to be the man I married and turned into your dad. -Pay no mind to the blood status- I believe that’s what your father and I have taught you” She said taking her tea cup in hand.

You didn’t know why she was acting like this; they had also taught you to avoid big conflicts, yet, here you were. “Sorry mom, I don’t think I follow”

“Do you know why you feel like standing up to Lucius’ son? Because it is in your blood. During my time at Hogwarts I was friends with some muggleborns, but unlike you, I let myself get carried away by my house peers, don’t make the same mistake, much less when it’s about love” You remained silent after she spoke, you didn’t know where did she get this idea that you loved Fred, because she was talking about Fred, right? He was the one who wrote to you more constantly. “I’ll talk to your father; we’ll discuss it over supper”

Confused was short for how you felt. But at least you’d get to spend some time with some of your best friends, so that night you wrote to Fred that you were, in fact, joining them in a few weeks. You felt your stomach sink the moment your owl left. What if him and George now hated you? What if they thought that you not responding for weeks meant putting an end to your friendship? As these questions wondered your brain, the doubt of why your mom started talking about love came, too. Cause she was talking about Fred, wasn’t she? Why was Fred the one who came to your mind for this matter? Maybe she was talking about George, you were closer to him, essentially. But it was the mystery that drove you back to Fred, because sure, you were friends, but he had that face when you were around, and you also felt that there was this barrier, not in a hostile way, but as an aura of, well, mystery. You knew that he was the one to like you first, George had told you that story about the hallway and you defending Ron, and how Fred basically ran to tell him, yet, you always seemed to feel it odd since Fred was a little distant. At first you thought it was just his personality, you had thought “maybe George is warmer” but you’d often see him hang out with other girls, too. He’d hug Alicia Spinnet and Angelina Johnson, just like George would, but he wouldn’t even let his arm brush yours unless George had started play-fighting and he had to intervene, so you just had thought that maybe he liked you, but he didn’t quite trust you. Until now.

What if your mother was right? What if Fred liked more as more than a friend? You couldn’t even begin to make sense to that idea, you had seen Fred around other girls, he was a master at flirting, he’d swoon them over. The thought of him fancying you didn’t add up to how he treated you, did it? You refused to give your heart false hopes and dismissed those thoughts quickly, you just went to sleep happy to create memories with your friends.

…

On the other hand, Fred thought that he would spend the most amazing time with you during these holidays, he had even started talking to George about his feelings for you trying to figure them out, but then his father told him that his friend, Amos Diggory and his son would also join the group, at least for the trip, and he felt like cursing the entire world. How could he define what he felt for you when Pretty Boy Diggory would be around? George knew, that Lee knew, that Tori knew because Annabelle had told her, that Cedric was interested in you, he was curious, too. The difference was that Diggory knew that he could charm anyone he wanted, he just had to play his cards right, while Fred couldn’t even begin to admit that he wanted to play his cards too.

You arrived at The Burrow a few days before the Cup, you got to spend time with the Weasleys and even Harry and Hermione, you knew Hermione from your late night study sessions at the library, but you had never actually had a conversation for Harry, you found him rather plain, not in demeaning way, but you could see that this boy had barely an idea of what he represented, he was just like any other boy his age. Molly loved you, even when you found hard to call her that instead of -Mrs. Weasley-, and Ginny liked you too, she liked having another girl who liked quidditch around to play, she was good, you bonded over the game. And she was kind enough to tell you that everyone noticed the small tension that was going on between you and Fred. At first you thought that she was just messing with you, after all, she was the sister of Hogwarts´ most prolific pranksters, but then one night Hermione joined the girl talk, luckily, the subject changed to Ginny’s crush on Harry, but you were left wondering, if people were repeating what your mother said, it might as well be truth, right?

You spent that night thinking about Fred, you liked how he snorted while laughing after a prank he had been planning for long turned out brilliantly, you liked how he would talk you out of pulling an all-nighter to study so you could go wander the castle with him and George. You liked how he would look out for you during the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin matches, much to Oliver’s dismay…

You loved how competitive he was. You loved how before each game he’d tried to place a bet, whether you both were playing or not. You loved how you two would exchange challenging looks from one side to the other of the field. You loved how defensive he got when it came to someone offending you or talking trash to your back. You fell asleep while thinking in all of the things that you loved about this boy, maybe you did have a crush on him…

The next day everyone was super excited, it was the game day, so you all got your bags and started walking into the forest. You were walking with a twin on each side when you saw a man with glasses come up to Arthur and greeted him. You heard Fred sigh and murmur something beneath his breath, but whatever he said was eclipsed by George saying “Now, the fun begins” with a huge devious smile on his face, you didn’t get it. Was this man someone that Arthur didn’t like that much? Were they work frenemies? Then your thoughts were interrupted by something falling from a tree, a someone, actually. Next to the man talking to Arthur was now standing the Hufflepuff’s team captain, Hogwarts’ golden boy: Cedric Diggory. You turned around for a brief second to look at Ginny and Hermione, who you could already see were starting to get a little face-heated from just looking at the boy, you didn’t blame them, every girl at school had a crush on him, and you weren’t the exception, you just were more discrete when it came to showing an opinion, plus you hadn’t been officially introduced to him, sure, you had played against him, but you had never crossed a word, so you felt that showing even the slightest hint of heart eyes for him was inappropriate, plus, now you had come to terms that you liked Fred more than just a friend, right?

He quickly noticed that you were all standing there looking at him so he came up to say hi.

“(Y/N), this is Hufflepuff’s team captain: Cedric Diggory; Cedric, this is (y/N) Lafington, Slytherin’s newest chaser” George introduced you after greeting him.

“Yes, I know exactly who she is” Cedric shook your hand firmly while he answered to George. Fred was silent. “You were the talk of all teams last year, how come no one had noticed you before?”

-Well, I noticed her since our first week at school, thank you-Fred thought to himself.

“I just…” You smiled at Diggory while shrugging your shoulders “I guess I wasn’t that interested in sports before, I’m more of a library mouse, actually”

“Oh, okay, so you’re smart, too. I get it. I like that” Oh Merlin, you liked Fred, but so did you liked having the most eligible man at school looking at you in the way he was.

George was having a blast mentally, he knew Fred was bloody pissed, but he thought that this was for his own good, Fred had to realize that you wouldn’t wait for him forever, so mayyyybe George actually had encouraged Diggory to hit on you. He felt like he was doing his best work as a best friend and as a brother.

During the rest of the walk, Cedric joined you and the twins, you all chatted a bit about school, and when you arrived at the game you went to the girl’s tent. Hermione and Ginny were craving details about Diggory, but you really didn’t have much to give them. Later, when you went looking for the twins, you didn’t find them, Cedric found you, though. You decided to take a walk around with him, while you were talking you got to know him a little better, he was a good guy; you picked up that the flirty smiles and eyes between you two were just denial when he mentioned Cho Chang, Ravenclaw’s seeker. This boy didn’t want to admit that his playboy days were over, you thought that was funny. Yeah, you still had a crush on him, but you realized that it was a platonic thing, you liked Cedric, as a friend.

After placing a bet with Ludo Bagman, Fred had gone back looking for you, when he saw you laughing along with Diggory he felt his stomach shrink and the bile rising through his chest to his throat, maybe Angelina was right, maybe you knew that he liked you but you just chose to ignore him, but he also George’s voice came to his head in your defense, how could you even begin to imagine what he felt for you when he could barely look you in the eye? Those beautiful (y/e/c) eyes. He took a deep breath and approached you, telling you that it was time to go to your seats, you said goodbye to Cedric and followed Fred.

“So…” You started while trying to keep with him “I was hoping that you could tell me a little bit about the teams that will be playing tonight…”

“Didn’t Diggory tell you any of that? Or was he just trying to get in your pants?” You stood completely frozen at what he had just said, Fred had never said anything mean to you, in fact, he’d go after anyone who mistreated you.

“Excuse me?” Was the one thing that you managed to express. Fred turned back to look at you and he crumbled a little on the inside when he saw the hurt in your eyes, the shock, he thought how cute you looked with your eyebrows furrowed like that, but he quickly realized that he had fucked up.

“Oh… I-…” He didn’t know how to apologize; he wasn’t used to get carried away by his emotions in that way. You didn’t say anything, you stood there maintaining eye contact, you were waiting for a proper apology. “Look, I’m sorry, that came out in a completely wrong way” He waited for a response but you gave him nothing “Fine” he sighed and walked over closer to you “I’m sorry, I really am” Nothing. “Hey, Lafts, I’m now begging for your forgiveness” He used your nickname, which you felt relaxed your forehead. “Pleeeaaaase…” In that moment you felt him taking your hand and putting to his mouth to kiss it while giving you puppy eyes.

“Okay, I accept your apology” You said with a small smile in return, and taking your hand away from his. “But what in hell has gotten into you?” You asked as you started walking again.

“I just don’t like that he thinks that he can have you that easily, I don’t want you to get hurt by one of the most famous playboys at school. That’s it” Fred knew that he had to be cautious about what he said, he didn’t want to sound like a complete lunatic, but he also didn’t want to confess his feelings for you in the middle of the scenario that you were standing right now in.

You also didn’t want to keep going with this fight, so you accepted his excuse and kept going, even though on the inside you were still upset about him talking to you that way. When you arrived at your seats you placed yourself between Ginny and George, avoiding Fred. George resumed the season to you before the game started, you saw Draco and his dad, who offered you joining them in the box, but you refused politely with a simple “Thank you Mr. Malfoy, but I’ll stay with my friends for this once” which made everyone look at you with inquire, you explained that Lucius Malfoy was one of your father’s oldest business partners, so it was better to keep things light with him, Draco was different story; that last part relaxed the tension and made everyone laughed.

During the game you could occasionally feel Fred’s gaze on you, you’d sometimes look back, letting him know that you weren’t angry, but still you didn’t want to engage a conversation with him yet.

You had a good time, even though you still liked playing better than just watching, the twins and Ginny were really happy that Ireland had won. After you exited the stadium Arthur told everyone that you’d have dinner an hour later, so you returned calmly to the tents, while you were walking you started hearing people screaming and some even running, you looked at the twins but they were just as confused as you.

“Spread!” Arthur yelled at you “Spread! Hide! Fred, George, watch your sister” at a not so long distance you could see people with some weird masks marching forward and destroying the tents around, then it hit you.

“Death Eathers” you barely mumbled. You turned to see Harry, Ron and Hermione already running “Go” you said firmly now to the twins, you pushed them and Ginny in the opposite direction where the Death Eaters came. “Go. They won’t hurt me. At least I think so, go, hide, protect Ginny” George nodded and took Ginny by the hand, the started walking.

“Oi!” Fred called them, but they didn’t listen, he turned to you, and grabbed you by the arm “I’m not leaving you here, let’s go”

“No, Fred. You’re a blood traitor” you got rid of his grip

“So are you!”

“Yes, but my family never talks about this publicly, no one knows. I won’t put them at risk” You knew that the words were hurting him, but he knew that it was truth, your parents’ business depended on them remaining neutral, no one really knew about your family’s blood status views unless they were close to you. “Look, Fred” You could hear the chaos closer and closer “You know I love you guys, and you know I value your friendship, but right now I really need you to go and look for George and Ginny, I can take care of myself” Just like he did with you a few hours earlier, you could see the hurt in his eyes, you knew your mother liked him from the letters, but you couldn’t bare the idea of putting her in danger for a simple crush. “I promise I’ll look for you guys when this is over, I’ll go help your dad” You kissed his hand and pushed him away “GO!”

You barely could see him running away because you turned around and started casting transfiguration spells on yourself, if you were getting into this fight, you’d make sure that no one behind those masks could recognize you.

When the dark mark was casted onto the sky, the Death Eaters started vanishing, everyone remained shook, when you made sure that none remained there, you started waking back to the party’s tent, there you returned your appearance back to normal, when you came out you saw Arthur returning, he recognized the clothes you were wearing and hugged you. “Thank you” he said as soon as you broke apart, you put your hand on top of his on your shoulder “No problem, Mr. Weasley. I just wish I could have done it without wasting time putting a costume on”

“You helped innocent people, and that should be enough” He gave you and honest smile and went inside the tent. Later when everyone had returned, you all returned to The Burrow, where you all were warmly welcomed by a worried Molly Weasley, who had heard everything from the news.

“Oh, dear, I assume your parents must be worried about you, you should write to them” She said to you as soon as she had the chance, and you agreed, so you thought that the best was to return home the next day.

…

Your parents weren’t that worried about you, actually, they knew that you were a fighter, but they did look worried about how thing would start changing from here on in, you told them that you made yourself unrecognizable when the Death Eaters showed up, which your father thanked you.

Over the next few weeks you wrote to the twins and your other friends, you even exchanged letters with Cedric Diggory (to whom George had felt the freedom to give your address) You just wanted to go back to Hogwarts and get away from all of the political problems going on, you wanted to go back to normal, where you could actually be you and give zero shits about blood status, you couldn’t wait enough for your 17th birthday, the day your freedom would came; if you were seventeen your parents would get excluded from all of your personal decisions. But for now, you could just keep on dreaming.

During the first week of class of your sixth year, you looked for the twins, they greeted you with the warmest of hugs, especially Fred (which surprised you) and you offered them an apology for bringing up the blood thing the day of the game, they were really understanding.

“Don’t worry, dad was amazed at how feisty you turned out to be, he didn’t see it coming, he snitched on you with us” George words made you giggle “Changing your looks to kick ass? That’s clever”

“Yeah, maybe you could help us perfect those spells so Snape and Filch can’t know who came for them” Fred added with a wink.

That same week you learned that this year you wouldn’t have quidditch because Hogwarts would be hosting the Triwizard Tournament, those were terrible news for you, but still, you felt excited about having exchange students over, and the twins had the idea that you could still play quidditch on your free time during the weekends, it wouldn’t be the same, but you were okay with it.

Fred wouldn’t admit it, but he really wanted you to accept the idea of weekend quidditch, because that was the first step on his plan to conquer you. When he heard his dad speaking so highly of you, he was certain that he was totally in love with you, the fear of losing you that he felt the day before, the way he reacted when he saw that Cedric could make you laugh too; the way his tummy felt when you kissed his hand, the way he suffered every minute while he hid knowing nothing of you and dreading the worst, he scolded himself mentally for letting you go, he should’ve gone with you, he shouldn’t have left you alone in a situation like that; All of that made sudden sense to him while his father kept telling the story, he didn’t just have a crush on you, he wasn´t just curious, he was head over heels in love with you. So he asked for Charlie’s advice, and he designed a plan to ask you out s u a v e m e n t e, the original plan involved hanging out after quidditch practice, so when quidditch got cancelled he had to improvise. He also had an advantage this year, you guys shared Potions class, which Fred knew was one of your favorites, so he would be able to talk to you during class because of Snape’s favoritisms towards Slytherins.

The weeks passed and you started noticing how George would always disappear when the tree of you were supposed to hang out, leaving you alone with Fred, you didn’t mind, you loved the way his red hair would look at night with the dim lights of the castle at night, and he loved the way your eyes lit up when you looked at the stars. Truth is that you two were getting closer, closer than friends, none of you said a thing about it, but you both could feel the connection growing. When the Yule Ball was announced you were sure that Fred would ask you to be his date, so you and Abby went dress shopping, she really didn’t like the idea of you getting with a Gryffindor, much less a Weasley, but she was happy that you had someone just like she had her Durmstrang student.

When you got to the shop Hogsmead and started looking at the fabrics, you noticed that other girls were already there, between them you could notice the girls of Gryffindor’s quidditch team, you paid no mind to them nor to their whispers and dirty looks. Abby went away for a moment to try on a dress that she liked, when she came back she had an annoyed look on her face.

“You didn’t like it?” You thought it was the dress “You know that’s just the sample one, they can make it for you in a different color”

“It’s not that” she said, putting the dress back “I liked the dress”

“Then why the face?”

“Look” she started “I know that you like the Weasley boy, much to the house’s dismay, and I’m trying (y/n), I’m really trying to keep my nose out of this because I like seeing you happy” she paused for a second before going, you could see that her mind was working trying to say something.

“Abby, it’s okay, I can take it” What could it be? Had he gotten in a fight with Adrian again?

“When I was in the changing room I could hear Angelina Jhonson talking about how excited she was to be attending the ball with Frederick”

“Well, that’s a shame for her, he’s going to ask me”

“That’s the thing Lafts, he asked her already, not you, her.” You could see that Abby was trying to hold it together, she was quite protective of you, but you did recognize that she was trying to not hate Fred. “I know it sounds terrible and I don’t know, maybe those twits are tryin’ to play mind games on us, but you should definitely check that out; I don’t want this night that we’ll probably remember forever to be ruined for you by some stupid scumsucker”

You were speechless, you didn’t know what to say, you were certain that Abigail wasn’t fond of the twins, but you also knew that she just wouldn’t lie about it, so when she had her order on her dress made, you two returned to the castle.

That night at dinner you had a hard time spotting Fred at the Great Hall, you also had a hard time spotting him anywhere in the castle, when you went to George for answers he responded with a simple “Love you both, I’ve done plenty trying to help Fred. I’m not getting in the middle of this mess” And walked away, which left you feeling even more confused and angry than before, why were they shutting you down? You wrote to your mom to know if anything big had happened outside the school, but she said nothing had really came up. You were left with nothing, the next few days George made sure to let you know that he was still there for you, but he drew the line when it came to talking about Fred. Something inside of you said “See? You were right, Fred didn’t really like you, it was all in your head; if not, then how come only George is here now?” And you didn’t want to give this voice the reason, but it was the only thing in your mind.

The days passed and the ball came, you ended up attending it with Adrian, after all, you and him were really good friends. You were having a great time with your friends, you even danced a piece with Cedric, then George came to you, too. Fred remained far away, you could see him on the dance floor with Angelina, as Abby said; you felt your heart break a little more every time you looked at him, you were angry at him, but you were also angry at yourself, how could you had let yourself think for a minute that someone like him could fall in love with you? You were opposites, and everyone knew it, and everyone made sure you were reminded of it at all times. A slow song came on and Adrian said to you that he would try to dance with some girl from Beauxbatons, so you went to sit down for a bit. You watched all the couples dancing with a bit of longing, you saw that Ginny was there with a boy and you felt your heart melt for a moment, not everyone was having a rough night.

“Not having fun?” You heard George’s voice behind you.

“Eh” you shrugged your shoulders “I’ve been better” you turned your head to look at him.

“Well” He hunched over to be at your level “I see Pucey dancing with someone and my date blew me off too, wanna go wreck someone’s make out session?” That last part with wiggling eyebrows. He made you chuckle.

“Fine” You said rolling your eyes. You took your clutch and followed him through the hallways, you walked quietly, trying to spot any couple to scare. Suddenly George came to a stop in front of a door. You looked at him with questioning eyes, he nodded, letting you know that there was someone in there.

“You go first” He whispered. You smiled, excited. You got your wand ready. When George opened the door, you pointed your wand but before you could say anything you were surprised by Fred Weasley standing in front of you. Well, he was actually pacing, but still, he was in front of you. You turned to George.

“I thought you said t-“

“I know what I said” He cut you off. “But I’m doing this for you, not for him” He looked at both of you before closing the door and leaving you there.

You stood there in silence for a couple of minutes, you didn’t even want to look at him, you were hurt.

“So, I saw you dancing with Diggory…”Fred finally broke the silence.

“Really? Are you seriously bringing that up?” You decided to look at him and when your eyes met you felt the world freeze. You stared at each other. Fred had been watching you from afar, too. But now that he had you close, he was taken out of breath of how good you looked. The way your dress made your skin pop, the way your eyes were glowing thanks to the make-up, he could also see the lip gloss that you had been reapplying all night.

“Fred?” Your voice brought him back from his mind. “You know what? I don’t even know why I decided to stay, I should’ve left with George” You headed for the door but he quickly got up and stood before you.

“No. You know why” You got chills, you didn’t know if they came from the cold of the classroom you where standing in or from the look in his eyes. He took off his jacket and tried to covered you with it.

“No” You said stepping back and putting your hand in front of you. “You don’t get to play prince charming with me, not after you ignored me for a month… Why did you do it..?”

Fred didn’t know what to say, he knew that the moment to confess his feelings to you had arrived, but he felt too dumb to say something.

“You know Fred? If you didn’t like me you could’ve just been straight forward about it.” You started talking trying to keep your voice neutral. “You didn’t have to pretend to be my friend all these years, the worst part of it is that these last few months I felt like something beyond a friendship was growing between us” That was it, you gulped, your voice broke “You didn’t have to make me fall in love with you and then break my heart” Fred rose his head. You crossed your arms over your chest trying to keep all your feelings in.

“Wait a second, love, rewind a little bit there” He was in shock, he walked towards you. “You’re in love with me?” You could hear the surprise in his voice. Was he now laughing at you?

“You’re impossible, Weasley” You headed for the door again, but Fred grabbed your arm and pulled you to him. “Let m-“ You felt his lips crash on yours, shutting you up. You responded to his kiss, you could sense desperation in it.

“I’ve liked you since our first year” He said when you finally broke away “I’ve always felt keen on you. I love you. I shut you out because I was too scared of my own feelings, I’ve never felt this way for anyone else. I figured out that if I just cutyou off, all the feelings would go away, but they didn’t.” You looked at him mouth-opened, not knowing what to say, you both had been feeling this way but you were too scared to admit it.

“You’re an idiot” You finally managed to say. He kissed you again.

“Yes, I am, I am the biggest idiot ever” Kiss “but please say you won’t pay mind to the all the bloody talking and you’ll be my official girlfriend” He pecked you on the lips again.

“Yes, yes, okay” You laughed.

You stood there for a while, laughing at how obnoxious you both had been the last few years. You were in love with Fred, and Fred was in love with you. You weren’t waiting for you 17th birthday anymore, you were making up for all the lost time, everyone else could go to hell.

#fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x slytherin!reader #fred weasley x reader imagine #fred weasley x fem!reader #fred imagine #fred weasley x y/n #fred and george #weasley twins imagine #weasley twins #fred and george weasley #fred weasley #harry potter #hp imagine #harry potter imagine #hp

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where-is-my-beheading-ceremony · 3 years

Text

Aaaaa headcannons!

Claytro edition! (purely based on my personal thoughts)

(note: feel free to enjoy, but if this ship is not something you are interested reading about then I totally understand, have fun scrolling the Nexo Knights tags! ❤️)

-Clay is the only one that has actually managed to touch Jestro's hair, but it was a lot shorter when they were still kids

-These two have regular sleepovers since after Jestro started training to be a royal Jester, they couldn't be roommates anymore

-Yes they were roommates for a few years and Merlok would read them bedtime stories

-Jestro gets cold in his sleep often so Clay would sleep with them to help them feel warmer along with the pile of 3 blankets

-The two also sleep together whenever they feel bad (had a nightmare, stressed, emotional). Less so as adults though since now they barely ever sleep

-Surprisingly, Jestro doesn't fear the cold too much. He doesn't enjoy it more so because of the memories of cold winters in the streets and not because of how cold he's feeling right now.

-Jestro and Clay treated each other with colorful bandages as kids since Jestro used to bruise easily and Clay would get bruises from training

-Jestro and Clay would occasionally text each other in seasons 1-2, more so when there's some celebration. Both wanted to know how the other is doing, but Jestro was far more reserved in giving out info

-Clay even called him on his birthday and snuck to the lava castle to leave a gift l without anyone knowing.

-Jestro did a similar thing, but he just threw a gift at them in the middle of battle because he didn't want to seem suspicious by gifting it genuinely. Clay still understood it and was very pleased

-They made friendship necklaces for each other back when they first met and wore them the whole time

-Clay was the first one to rip off the friendship necklace. Specifically, stone Clay when he first was woken up and still hadn't yet had the chance to remember his bond with Jestro

-Let's pretend Jestro wasn't hurt for the sake of our hearts since that hurt a l o t.

-Jestro had to be zapped after that emotional ride, so fresh with Mondtrox' magic, he too took it off, but kept both his and Clay's necklaces.

-Not long after, these two grow close together again as a duo

-Stone Clay and Corrupt Jestro was the thing that haunted everyone since they worked together and became terrifyingly good at causing mass destruction

-From the outside it didn't seem like they always got along since Stone Clay had some definite anger issues. Jestro always made sure not to talk to him too much during battles since that's when they're most riled up

-The time after battles between the two is spent well. They just hang out and talk, often plotting because they can and Jestro making fun of the knights, as well as giving Stone Clay more reasons to dislike them

-Both of their memories were iffy at that point, so wherever they remembered, they told each other

- Stone Clay was like Jestro's bodyguard who sometimes did a poor job at being one

-Not a day passed where Stone Clay didn't end up carrying Jestro in his arms

-Absolute power duo

-Honestly could've taken down the kingdom

-There's not much Clay could to to stop Monstrox from zapping Jestro

-The first time, he even made sure Jestro wouldn't move, not knowing what to expect and not realizing Jestro felt things completely differently since we'll, he wasn't stone

-The other times Clay just looked away since he still saw Monstrox as the superior out of everyone

-Jestro absolutely loved Clay's new violent nature and Clay absolutely loved how un-hinged Jestro was. The echo to Jestro's voice could even give his stone body shivers

-Jestro treated Stone Clay exactly how someone would treat their ex after he returned to the Knights

-After Season 4, Jestro looked like he'd need life support from how much of a negative impact Monstrox' magic left on him so Clay would occasionally secretly check up on how he's doing even if he's not supposed to interact with Jestro

-Jestro was absolutely not glad to see Clay because he knew that he woukd be the one to get in trouble for it, not the knight.

Now to something happier again!

-Clay always takes any chance given to him to carry Jestro in his arms

-Jestro takes any chance possible to praise Clay's work

-Clay allows Jestro to paint their nails

-Clay is just an absolute himbo, who only has enough braincells to be a knight and leader

-These two have terrible social skills

-Their first kiss was back in their academy days, on one of their last years

-They were both sort of curious is all. But it didn't change much to their friendship since the two didn't feel like they were quite enough for the other

-They still don't have any spoken relationship.

-It's just been mutual simping for each other since their academy days

-The two would be completely content with never being in a relationship their whole lives

-Which is why they need encouragement from others to actually get a move on with their relationship

-Everyone in the academy thought they were a thing. Every single person. But it wasn't spoken about much since it became the usual thing.

-At the start however, there were many rumors and a lot of gossiping. People were worried for Clay's reputation when he himself didn't even feel worried about it.

-Clay is comically stubborn when it comes to seperating him from Jestro.

-Jestro let's go a lot easier, even if he doesn't want to.

-The amount of times Clay had cornered Jestro with both his arms and thought it was a casual thing to do is ridiculous.

-Jestro learns a lot more when Clay helps him study than when he studies in class

-Surprisingly, both performed a lot better whenever they had a task to do together.

-Since Clay doesn't brag about himself, Jestro makes sure to tell as many great things as possible about Clay. Like he'd tell heroic, almost over the top stories about whatever Clay does to other students

-Clay has definitely used Jestro as a weight for an exercise before

-Jestro seems like a mom whenever something bad happens to Clay. He always takes care of them and scolds them on a caring matter

-The amount of shock the teachers were when Clay had gotten into a fight with other students was definitely something.

-But Jestro definitely understood why Clay acted out. Yes he's a model student, but Clay always has to force himself not to speak out, frustration can build up.

-Jestro only wishes it wasn't because some students went overboard on throwing hurtful words towards Jestro and then later Clay. This happened when they were still quite young

-Jestro would wait for Clay when he had to sit through multiple detentions because of that one event

-Jestro's language is words

-Clay's love language is acts of service

-These two till this day have to hug at least once a week

-Clay only dares to show all of his sides around Jestro and Jestro gladly helps them express their frustrations and such. Clay even feels comfortable enough to openly complain about people that have been getting on his nerves.

-Jestro doesn't understand why Clay treats him almost like a porcelain doll. The knight doesn't even dare to hold his hand too tightly and always waits a second to be sure if he can touch Jestro in any way, like a hug.

-Clay is just very worried of causing even the smallest bits of discomfort to Jestro

-Jestro meanwhile doesn't hesitate for a second and nearly tackle hugs Clay instead of going for the careful approach

-Both often times speak out their minds about each other unintentionally so it would go like

"Clay I could just hold your face and kiss you right now!... Wait-I just couldn't think of a better way to explain my joy for my bestest friend ahahaha, yeah-"

"Jestro I'm, so glad to see you're doing well, I couldn't have handled seeing someone I love hurt by that-...because you're my best friend... Yes!"

-Jestro from the very start was a shameless hoarder of Clay's clothes. Whatever he gave them, he gladly accepted

-Whenever Jestro made something for Clay, Clay would spent half an hour staring at it, afraid to ruin it some way by using the thing gifted to him. Same goes with whatever pastries he gets, he feels almost guilty for eating them

-Clay has a few Plush toys that Jestro got him and Jestro's collection mostly consists of the ones Clay got him

-Jestro hasn't moved out of Knightonia only because Clay gives bear hugs and he absolutely loves them

-If given the chance, Jestro would sacrifice much more than Clay could for him even if it doesn't seem like it

-These two would always play hide and seek in Merlok's library and around the castle even as teens at times

-Both of them encourage each other to be childish when they want to be

-Clay has pulled a Romeo so many times and came to the castle late in the evening just to talk to Jestro through their balcony

-Jestro can actually play violin. He's not perfect, but he definitely knows how to play it. He convinced himself he's bad at it since his bad luck always causes the strings to snap

-Jestro has played violin for Clay whenever they're sick to keep them amused

-Jestro once thought about running away in the academy and Clay was so ready to run with them so Jestro immediately threw that idea aside

-These two are like baby ducklings, they follow each other closely almost all the time

-Clay used to always be the one to say "He asked for no pickles" but after Season 4 and Jestro's absolute disappointment in the kingdom and it's people, he became the one to say "he asked for no pickles"

-Clay is glad that after season 4, Jestro started paying almost no mind to how people of Knightonia view him, but it makes him a bit worried even. Especially when Jestro just uses the people's own feelings towards him for his own advantage:

Shop keeper: YOU! Came here to steal all my baked goods, burn the place to the ground???

Jestro:... yes.

Shop keeper: what-

Jestro: I just said yes. Now can I get some of those caramel croissants.

Shop keeper now worried for their life: o-oh! Here! They're on the house!!!!

Jestro coming out of the bakery: Here Clay, I got us some of those fresh baked ones!

Clay:...was it on the house again?

Jestro:...mmm...yes?

Clay lightly sighing and going in to pay for it.

-Jestro feels sour enough towards Merlok that after season 4, he feels the need to protect Clay from whatever they might say and makes sure there isn't anything they decided to keep secret from them

Last, but not least:

-no matter what happens in their lives, these two will always find a way to keep close to each other, even if it takes time. Couple or not, they're soulmates that will never move on from each other. Inseparable by fate itself.

#nexo knights #jestro #legonexoknights #clay moorington #lego nexo knights #nexo knights jestro #Claytro #I love them #Love at it's purest

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railroad-migraine · 2 years

Note

Oh babe, do I have tea for you. This is fully a rant so by all means feel free to ignore/delete.

But man oh man

Context: my friends roommate got a crush on me (a very obvious one) and we went to a party during which I held his (and my other friends) hand as to not get lost in the crowd. That apparently translated to me "leading him on" when I, the next day, gently rejected him by saying I'm not looking for a relationship. My closet irl friend took his side, was off with me for weeks, only for me to find out not even three days after the party the same guy who's "heart I broke" was flirting and trying to get with my own roommate (which I didn't mind since ofc I didn't like him, which is why I rejected him, but he still made a big deal over it?? Even tho he clearly wasn't as "depressed" about it as he claimed??). When I decided to talk it out, I was made out to be the bad guy too!

I'm mostly mad, kinda sad, and just missing my CR boys because comfort characters, who can't you be real 😭 (tl;dr I hate my university sometimes)

"Not all men" You're right Dorian Storm, Ashton Greymoore and Mollymauk Tealeaf would never

- 🌸

OMG 🌸 Ty for sharing with me, I love uni gossip. Long ass reply incoming, lemme dissect this scalding hot tea and provide some of my own ☕:

First off, I'm sorry that you had to go through the miscommunication and drama. People can suck and make you feel sucky, but you're amazing and you handled the situation well!! You didn't lead anyone on; some folks romanticise people/actions in their heads and think simple platonic acts are romantic. You didn't give into pressure and stood up for your feelings which is something I only started to do in the last couple years. You deserve someone who's easy to read and who gets you, and who doesn't make you feel uncomfy or make you out to be the "bad guy."

You're doing great lovely, I hope things get better asap xx

Second, oh my gosh what is it with university??

Like, as of right now, I haven't had too much experience with relationships honhonhon because I wanted to look after myself and my studies. Pre uni, I had been flirted with and been on "not dates" that were in fact dates, but I only realised it after going on them lol #oblivious. But ever since I joined college, people who I have no interest in have misjudged my friendliness and mistaken it for flirting. And I'm just here like "🧍 I don't know what my type is, but it's not you lol."

I met this one dude on the first day, and we hit it off cuz he also watches Critical Role (I don't have any critter friends irl so I was thrilled!), but I ruled him off my potential suitor list because he mentioned that he was looking forward to getting black out drunk at his fast approaching prom(?) (it's not called that where I'm from but it's a universal word for a dance after your final year of high school before going to college idk idk), and I'm not really into that as a lifestyle but I was happy being a friend of his :)

I didn't hear from him for like a month cuz we're in different courses, but he randomly hit me up TWO DAYS BEFORE HIS PROM asking me to be his date and I replied "bro idk how to tell you this but I didn't even go to my OWN prom I have nothing to wear XD" (I celebrated my highschool graduation with my closest friends privately instead) But like, imagine if I had said yes. He would've gotten so drunk, possibly pass out, and I would be basically by myself, with no one who I knew around, for like five hours, at a venue two hours away from where I live. Basically in the middle of nowhere. Like no thank you: I'd be miserable x

Honestly I've experienced so much in my first year of uni life, but I'm hoping to be more active in clubs and all next year and maybe take a dip in the dating pool (and pursue someone I actually like) if I manage to scramble together some confidence 💜

Also I completely agree: the CR babes would treat you right, absolutely, 1,000% 👌

#mod poet #anon #anons #🌸 anon #i love getting tea in my inbox so if you have any to spare #please feel free to send it my way #first off dorian is a hopeless romantic and literally would have eyes only for you while being respectful about it #ashton would be blunt about how they are attracted to you but in a way that they'd also be chill remaining best friends with you #and molly would treat you like royalty like smh he'd have you as his main priority and make sure you feelings are heard and listened to #we stan 👏crystal clear communication👏#teatime with poet

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aleator · 4 years

Text

day 18 - bodyguard au (thor/tony)

Tony’s not used to people trying to kill him. Yeah, he’s a celebrity, but he’s a movie star. He doesn’t do the kinds of things that normally get people killed, even when he ends up starring in a fantastically bad film. But this is different. He’s due to testify in court for a trial that could put several important, big-name industry folks behind bars, and apparently that’s enough to get people trying to kill him.

He’d always thought having a bodyguard in his line of work was kind of cheesy, but there’s a first time for everything, apparently.

The guy he hires looks a little like a hippie but he comes with great recommendations, so Tony hopes those reviews are legit. It’s his life in this guy’s hands, after all. This guy’s very lovely, probably lethal hands. Tony shouldn’t be thinking about those hands as anything other than killing machines. But it’s hard. They’re nice hands.

At first it feels like he’s being followed around everywhere, which he is, so that makes sense. But it’s also really annoying. It’s like he’s hired someone to be his friend but neither of them actually want to be friends. His bodyguard, Thor, is a nice enough guy, but he’s painfully professional. He doesn’t even laugh at Tony’s hilarious jokes.

“Maybe your jokes just aren’t funny,” his agent, Pepper, says after he’s complained to her over the phone for fifteen minutes.

“Not true. They’re hilarious,” Tony reminds her. Even Pepper laughs at some of his jokes sometimes.

“If you hate having a bodyguard so much, why don’t you just go into witness protection or something?” Pepper suggests.

“I can’t do that, I’m in the middle of shooting a movie!” Tony protests. “You’re my agent, you know that.”

“I do know that,” she replies patiently. “But I’d rather you stop shooting a movie than someone shoot you. It’ll be hard to be your agent if you’re dead.”

“Probably wouldn’t stop you.”

“Nobody would blame you if you didn’t turn up to the charity dinner,” she says, which is probably the first time she’s ever told him not to go to an event. “You already donated the money, so we can still publicize that.”

“I’m not going to skip the charity dinner. That’s my first public appearance in weeks.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to have fun bringing your new bodyguard as your plus one.”

Tony sighs and realizes that yes, he’ll probably be stuck with just Thor as his dinner date. But at least he’ll get to be out and about having fun instead of hiding in his home.

At the dinner, people only want to ask him about the attempt on his life. Which sounds exciting, but most of what Tony remembers is the soft sound of a bullet whizzing by and then someone throwing him down onto the ground. It’s not very interesting to talk about. But society types can gossip about anything indefinitely, so he mostly just sits there and lets them prattle on while he nods occasionally.

Eventually he manages to escape and sneaks over to the bar to get himself something stronger than the champagne that came with dinner. As he’s nursing a whiskey a voice behind him says,

“If you want to leave, you can pretend I made you go.”

He startles, embarrassingly so, nearly spilling his drink. “Jeez, you can’t scare a guy who’s got professional killers after him like that!”

Thor steps out from behind him so Tony can see him, looking faintly amused. “My apologies. I thought you knew I was there.”

“Well I did not. Because you are strangely light on your feet for someone so…”

Thor smiles politely at him while he tries to think of a way to finish that sentence, and when he doesn’t come up with anything Thor just carries on with the conversation.

“I mean it, if you’d like to go. I can declare something a security risk,” Thor offers. “So you can save face or whatever you’re worried about.”

It’s a strangely observant and sweet offer, and Tony stares at him. Long enough that Thor shrugs and adds,

“Or not.”

“No! No, actually, that’d be great,” Tony finally says, knocking back the rest of his whiskey in one go and setting aside the glass on the bar so he can stand up. “Uh, oh no, I feel unsafe here in this public location. Bodyguard, help.”

And finally, for the first time, Thor laughs. Actually laughs at some dumb joke that Tony made. Thor’s smile widens as he laughs and Tony just about melts at the sight of it.

After that, Thor starts to soften. He smiles more, laughs at a few more of Tony’s jokes, and Tony feels less weird about having him around. He takes Thor with him whenever he goes out, but nothing perilous ever happens, so he starts to wonder if hiring a bodyguard was just going overboard. Maybe everything will be totally fine…

...were always famous last words.

The bastards try to get him one night as he’s coming out of a crowded nightclub. Nothing looks out of the ordinary to him, but as he’s waiting for someone to pull his car around he’s suddenly being pushed down to the ground. He yelps in alarm until he realizes it’s just Thor, then he shouts again more urgently as he sees blood on him.

The crowd is running and yelling, panicked, and people are trying to dive for cover or call emergency services. Thor is still draped over him, shielding him with his body, but Tony thinks that might be because he’s incapable of moving.

“Thor? Holy shit, Thor,” Tony says with increasing intensity as he shakes Thor’s shoulder. “Hey, buddy! Don’t do this to me.”

At some point in all the commotion the EMTs and cops appear on the scene, sirens blaring, and Tony and Thor are carted away in an ambulance. Tony keeps insisting that he’s fine, they need to worry about Thor, forget about him. Nobody listened, of course, and they ended up taking him to his own hospital room no matter how many times he insisted the blood on his suit wasn’t from him.

They check him over thoroughly, even though Tony’s antsy and restless. He keeps asking about Thor, but they only give him vague answers no matter how many demands he makes. What’s the point of being a famous movie star if nobody’s so awestruck at your presence they listen to everything you say?

Eventually they declare him fit to be released, which he could have told them from the start, and he immediately demands to see Thor. He apparently can’t even do that so he’s stuck waiting even more, feeling sick to his stomach.

He falls asleep in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs at some point. Pepper had arrived at the hospital sometime earlier, panicking even more than Tony had, insisting he should have gone into witness protection for real and that she’s canceling every plan of his until this trial is over, but she must have taken a Valium or something because she dozes off in the chair next to him eventually too.

Finally a doctor approaches them to let Tony know that Thor is stable and has requested to see him, which they’ll allow as long as he doesn’t excite Thor too much. Tony is up on his feet in a flash, following the doctor to Thor’s hospital room.

Thor is awake and sitting up in bed, which is a good sign. Tony awkwardly enters the room, hands clasped behind his back.

“The bullet didn’t hit any major organs,” Thor offers when Tony doesn’t say anything right away.

“What about minor organs?” Tony asks.

Thor laughs, but he immediately winces and clutches at his side as the action pulls on his stitches. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“Sorry,” Tony says, finally taking a seat in the chair beside Thor’s bed. He debates what to say for a few moments longer, then blurts out,

“I never would’ve hired a bodyguard if I’d thought they would actually die.”

Thor gives him an amused look. “Unfortunately for you, it turns out I happen to like you.”

Rolling his eyes, Tony points out, “You had to do that, I’m paying you.”

“To take a bullet for you? You’re not paying me that much.”

“Oh. Should I be?”

Thor laughs weakly again, settling back against his pillows with a weary sigh. “I did not take the bullet for the money, Stark.”

Finally it starts to click in Tony’s head, and he scoots his chair a little closer, cautiously reaching for Thor’s hand. Thor lets him take it, and they hold hands on the hospital bed.

“You’re okay?” Thor asks, trying to look Tony over without either of them moving.

“Yeah,” Tony says with a warm smile. “Thanks to you.”

#thunderiron #tony stark #thor odinson #thortony #tonythor #thor x tony #my fic #alternate universe #mcu #2020 nano challenge #sorry for the delay!! hopefully i won't be held up so much again

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oneboxofmatches · 3 years

Note

Hi!!! May I request a HP romantic and friendship matchup on both eras? (Preferably male), thanks in advance! 💞

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, Ravenclaw, and my patronus spirit is swan. Bi Pan Genderfluid girl using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. A friend of mine told me that I (kinda) look like Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲 (a Netflix animated series), but the exception is I'm short (5'1.2") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has messy/wavy brunette medium hair, chocolate brown eyes, oriental skin and a small beauty mark on the forehead. My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant and shy at first cause' I dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis, talkative, awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY clumsy, secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over any wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, sarcastic person with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no. 1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), and will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

People thought I'm a demure self-effacing woman that looks "idealistic" or "one of a kind," (due to my protective parents, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, I'm eloquent, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic crybaby filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone, yet I still managed to be stronger than ever, even it's a slow burn process. I can be intimidating, sassy, and a douchebag if I receive ends. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, very indecisive, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive or I might break a belonging due to my carelessness). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic person, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams) 𝖺𝗇𝖽 what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Blunt but the loudest idiotic feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will act like a silent backstabber on people that we loathe, will crack up over your stupid antics before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic who tends to banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment (but gets grumpy if I received sappy or offensive one), still generous and concerned in a subtle way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾 making corniest jokes/puns, 𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, eating a lot, cartoons, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and writings, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity and worse scenarios in real life, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some are too hypocritical.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, and oratorical skills...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader). Currently an incoming college freshman, learning how to cook and have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

Thank you so, so much for requesting! I had a lot of fun with this one (as you can tell by some of the really long answers lol) and I hope you enjoy!!

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

CEDRIC DIGGORY

One of the most beautiful things about Cedric is that although he may show some introverted tendencies, he still manages to have a natural gift for connecting to others and allowing them to feel comfortable enough to open up. Really, your initial distance and shyness don't last nearly as long towards Cedric as they would with most other people.

Hearing your laughter brings the widest, cheesiest grin to Cedric’s face. Not only does he adore seeing you happy, but he also recognizes that your anxiety, insecurities, and strong emotions can sometimes cloud up your demeanor. Therefore, it brings him comfort knowing that (for the moment) you’re finding joy. He thrives when you thrive!

However, as much as he loves seeing your more energetic and happier self, it goes without saying that he’s the best comfort for when you’re not having the best day.

Cedric is an excellent listener, so he’ll most likely let you talk without interruption for as long as you need before even saying a word. He wants to make sure he truly understands your current state before acting. He may take a few seconds to process everything after you finish speaking, but then he’ll help you tackle whatever problems you’re facing. He’s especially talented at giving words of affirmation.

Cedric’s listening also comes in handy whenever you talk about your interests! He genuinely loves hearing about the things you’re interested in solely for the fact that you’re interested in them. Side note: you can count on him to be at any music performances, pageants, etc. you may have -- this guy is truly your #1 supporter.

Cedric’s a very good student (though I suspect he’s somewhat of a procrastinator himself), so I can also see you two supporting each other through schoolwork and celebrating each other’s successes.

Like you, Cedric has a strong urge to do the right thing. Talking to him about social issues stirs up a need to help, and I could see you two doing volunteer work together in your spare time.

I like to believe one of Cedric’s biggest love languages is quality time. Don’t get me wrong, this guy loves staying involved and busy. But taking a couple hours to be with you in small ways (even if that means just being in the same room while you scroll through social media) gives him a nice balance.

Overall, this kind boy will be there unwaveringly through the bad times and will laugh just as loud as you through the good!

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LUNA LOVEGOOD

You wanna talk about the best conversations, relentless support, and overall the most wholesome friendship you could ask for? Luna’s your girl.

Being unashamed to be true to yourself is one of the biggest reasons why Luna is so drawn to you. While she’s very friendly and insightful towards everyone she meets, it can get a bit repetitive for her to constantly interact with people who try to shelter their unique characteristics from the world. In her mind, these unique characteristics are what make people so fascinating! Why should anyone hide who they are?

Luna’s creativity is endless, and I can see it blending well with yours. Collaborating on a personal project outside of school (ex: novel, blog, etc.) together is definitely something I could see you two doing.

Speaking of creativity, finding creative solutions to everyday problems (both in school and in life) is your specialty as friends.

Admittedly, Luna isn’t usually drawn to louder individuals. However, the complexity behind your personality makes it easier for her to know you are much more than what meets the eye.

Speaking of, Luna has a difficult time standing up for herself -- whether it’s because she doesn’t feel a need to or she just doesn’t recognize the meaning behind certain phrases. She NEEDS a friend like you to stand up for her sometimes, and I know you wouldn’t hesitate!

Ranting to Luna is therapeutic to say the least. While her aloofness at times may make it seem as if she isn’t fully paying attention, that couldn’t be further from the truth. She’s actually catching every word, and once you’re done she’ll leave you with a philosophical solution that may seem borderline insane/irrelevant when you first hear it, but it strangely makes sense.

Overall, the lack of judgment from either of you is what draws you together. As a result, you build a unique bond that couldn’t be broken even if either of you wanted it to.

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

Let’s be honest, it would take you two so long to ask each other out. You were probably already really close friends, but the insecurities and “what if?” questions from both of you delayed an actual relationship.

When you finally started dating, you were both so relieved. You still share a laugh at how almost nothing changed in the way you interacted with each other.

While with mutual friends, Remus sometimes likes to sit back and just watch you, especially when you get really talkative because this is when you become the most expressive. He has the softest smile when you’re actively cracking jokes, discussing something you’re passionate about, or even calling someone out. Sometimes you may be too distracted to notice, but other times you’ll catch him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” (While that same soft smile never leaves his face.)

You both hold really high standards for yourself in terms of school, so expect late-night study/work sessions to be your best bet for quality time.

Though the occasional instance of walking through/lying on the grounds becomes a favorite for both of you.

Remus listens when you’re particularly struggling through anxiety or strong emotions, but he has to consciously stop himself from interrupting because he can’t stand how he feels knowing you’re going through a tough time.

All he wants to do is soothe you during these moments. If you’re comfortable, he’ll hold you while speaking to you in a soft voice. Remus, the intellectual that he is, is also your best chance at finding a reasonable solution. So if you're not in the mood for calming words, he's also a great person to turn to for answers.

As for your ambitions, no matter what you choose to pursue, you already know Remus is going to be your biggest source of support every step of the way. He’s more than happy to help in any way he can!

Overall, Remus appreciates you, and he’s always going to make sure you know it.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LILY EVANS

Lily especially connects to you because you manage to be determined, competitive, and intelligent without sacrificing your kindness, which is something she can relate to.

You and Lily are the C.E.O.s of doing the right thing. Neither of you hesitates to back the other up when it comes to confronting someone because you know it’s justified.

As perceptive as Lily is, you never need to tell her when something is bothering you. All it takes is a quick glance before she puts whatever she’s doing on hold to check in with you.

The reverse works as well. Typically, Lily really doesn’t internally struggle too much, and when she does she tries to hide it. You’re one of the only people who can see right through whatever she tries to pull.

The constant banter between you two is unmatched, but you both know it's because you really care about each other.

Overall, you and Lily have each other’s backs through anything, even when the other isn’t actively asking for help.

#matchups #fandom matchups #harry potter matchup #harry potter #cedric diggory #luna lovegood #remus lupin #lily evans #lily potter

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mhdiaries · 4 years

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Frights, Camera, Action! – Hauntlywood Elissabat Diary

This 2nd Day of August

On the eve of my coronation, 400 years ago tonight, I slipped into the moonless Transylvanian darkness and disappeared forever. I remember it like it was yesterday; The Vampire’s Heart casting its red glow over my room as Lord Stoker explained that I was much too young to be the queen without his help and that if I simply did exactly as he instructed, my unlife would be perfect for us all. I had not been acting all that long by then, but I knew enough to recognize a bad director when I heard one, and I was fangsolutely positive I did not want a starring role in this production. Fortunately for me, I had made friends with a young explorer and mad scientist named Hexiciah Steam. Hexiciah and Lord Stoker did not exactly see eye to eye on, well, anything, and so, partially to help me and partially to tweak LS, Hexiciah helped me escape to a waiting ship that would take me to Londoom. I asked him about the Vampire’s Heart, but he told me not to worry about it and that it was safe from the reach of LS. Thus I became known as Elissabat the First, not because I was the first queen to have that name, but because I was the first to choose self-imposed exile over the throne. I often wonder what kind of queen I would make today, 400 years older and hopefully wiser. I’m certainly wise enough to keep two diaries now, especially since several pages of Veronica Von Vamp’s private musings somehow ended up on a celebrity gossip site. Good thing Veronica never breaks character even when she’s writing.

7 August

My agent sent over a script today for me to read. It’s about a young ghoul who is chosen to be the queen of an ancient kingdom, not because she is the true heir but because the Lord Chancellor wants to control the kingdom through her. Except the ghoul finds out and takes off before she takes the throne, only to be chased all over the world by the Lord Chancellor’s hench-monsters. Besides being completely implausible it involves multiple locations, chase scenes, stunts and a very large cast of characters. It sounds exhausting. I would love to do a small picture next. Something shot on location in Scaris at a small outdoor café where there are long pauses in between conversations and shots of me staring off into the distance as I ponder the deep secrets of unlife. I can just see my agent’s face now. His left eye will start to twitch, and he won’t be able to control it so he’ll put his shades on and then he’ll break into a sneezing fit and have to excuse himself while he leaves my trailer to try and regain his composure. He’s actually a very good agent who really does have my beast interests at heart, but he is such an excitable little goblin that I can’t help but tweak him just a little bit. I do sometimes tire of playing larger-than-unlife roles, even though my fans really do seem to love the films. I would just like to stretch myself as a performer, and I’ve done so many of these... oh well. I love to act, the fans love to watch, and we’re all happy in the end - except the critics, but they’re never happy, so I don’t waste too much time thinking about them. V3

This 10th Day of August

Each day now I hear about growing unrest in the kingdom and how the vampire lords are mounting pressure upon Lord Stoker to find a queen. Personally, I think they are overreacting, since 400 years is just a drop in the coffin for a vampire, but they are a rather stodgy bunch. Order, tradition and discipline are the code they... we... live by. I have applied those virtues in the way I have chosen to pursue my career, and they are the secret to my success. I have been accused of having a photographic memory, but that is not accurate. I simply work as hard as I can to be as prepared as I can so I do not make careless mistakes. My stage fright has never gone away, and I doubt it ever will, therefore intense preparation is the only way I can stand in front of a crowd and do my job or jobs. I think my intensity intimidates other monsters, and I know I am perceived as not being “approachable”, but it takes a lot of concentration to be Elissabat playing Veronica Von Vamp playing a completely different character on stage or in film. It is why I need to not be in “character”, and for that to happen I need to be myself. I should be getting ready to be Veronica again, since a car is about to arrive not to pick up not a queen of the vampires, but a queen of the silver scream. Some days I do wish that I only had one role to play, but which one do I choose?

16 September

I’m making the press circuit to promote my new film today, so I’m bringing Viperine along to do my makeup. Viperine has been doing my makeup for a while now, and I simply adore her. She is chatty but not intrusive, and I completely trust the job she does, which is good since there’s really no way for me to check the work. She started doing my makeup quite by accident, when my regular artist got cast in some unscripted reality show... shudder... and left without any notice. Viperine was just an intern at the time and was cutting her fangs by doing makeup on creatured extras, but when I stepped out of my trailer and called her over, she didn’t even hesitate. She’s also that rare monster that is completely content not being in the spotlight. I asked her if she would like to be in front on the camera one day, and she told me that she felt like she was in front of the camera every time I stepped on stage. She has a fright future in this boosness, I think.

This 20th Day of September

By the pricking of my thumbs something fishy this way comes. It is all over the news that a new vampire queen has been found and confirmed by Lord Stoker who said that he used the Vampire’s Heart to verify that this ghoul is the true heir. Well this is certainly curious, since I know for a fact that the VH is as lost as Hexiciah Steam. Well, perhaps “lost” is not the proper description. Maybe “unavailable for questioning” would be more to the point. I know this because if Lord Stoker had the real VH he would have used it to track me down soon after I ran away, and I would have spent the last 400 years issuing rulings on property disputes, meeting with Yeti ambassadors and doing Lord Stoker’s bidding. I do wish this “new queen”, whomever she is, the best of luck, especially with old LS lurking around. He knows everything there is to know about how the queendom runs, but he couldn’t lead a one-zombie parade. I feel sorry for him, because he could be a real asset to the throne if he didn’t want to sit on it himself.

1 October

I’ve been nominated for another award, which will make the fans happy and the critics not. I think this may be my best performance yet, but it is a rather popular film, and monsters have been creeping to it in packs. Personally, I believe there is a direct correlation between how well critics like a film and how many monsters have actually seen it. The more obscure the film and fewer monsters that have seen it, the more worthy critics seem to heap praise upon it. I suppose it makes them feel superior, especially when they dig up that old line about it being “the most important film of the year.” ‘Tis tiresome, mostly because they hold up a film that very few have seen as the gold standard by which all others must be judged and then sneer at any comparisons to it, which is convenient. I’m not saying that every film I have ever acted in has been perfect; in fact, some of the acting choices I made as a young ghoul I wish I could go back and remake, but regardless of the role or film I always strive to give a performance worthy of the ticket price.

This 6th Day of October

So the new queen they have chosen is Draculaura! I had purposely been avoiding the news because I have been feeling guilty about the situation, so I did not know that she was the one. We used to play together when we were young ghouls back in Transylvania, and I still recall monsters mistaking us for sisters. This is not fair. I like my unlife and I do not want to give it up, but can I really allow another monster, especially one whom I consider a friend, to take over duties, obligations and responsibilities that were meant for me? I ran once. I am not sure that I can do that again.

#monster high #monster high diary #elissabat #frights camera action #hauntlywood

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hanjisungz-remade · 5 years

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penny for your thoughts? ☽ changbin

✦ genre: harry potter au, fluff, slow burn ✦ description: perhaps staying behind for christmas break would be good. you could get a lot of studying in for OWLs and since you were alone, you wouldn’t get distracted... except you weren’t alone ✦ pairings: seo changbin x reader ✦ word count: 28.2k ✦ warnings: mild language, tooth rotting fluff (seriously.... its a lot) ✦ a/n: ive had this idea for so long (nearly 4 years) and im so excited to finally write it! merry christmas and happy holidays in general to you all that celebrate, i hope you eat well and rest well and enjoy 💓

“Did you hear about the accident in Potions class today?” Jisung spoke quickly, elbow locked with your own as you tried to avoid being separated in the large crowd of students. Somehow he was always able to get the most gossip out of students and continue to stay at the top of your class.

“No, I’ve been busy focusing on OWLs. I would tell you that you should study too but I know you’ll ace them all.” You nudged him, almost pushing him into a very annoyed looking Slytherin.

“Hey! I’ve done my fair share of studying as well.” Jisung pouted but shook his head, focusing on shuffling his feet and recounting his story. “Okay so the accident. It was fucking hilarious, first of all. Secondly, I heard this first-year couldn’t tell the difference between fluxweed and knotgrass when they tried to make Polyjuice and they blew up the whole cauldron, like boom!” He made an explosion motion with his hands.

“To be fair you’re quite the handful in Potions as well, and that's coming from your partner.” You thought back to Jisung burning his eyebrows off in third-year after incorrectly mixing ingredients among the many other things you’ve had to endure the past years.

“I will have you know, I am the best partner ever. You get better marks because you fix my mistakes!” Jisung was about to go on but he suddenly lifted his head, a soft, “woah” coming out as you both entered the Great Hall.

Lights were just being hung up as everyone walked into the Great Hall. Professors flicked their wands and spun the strings together to turn the admittedly boring beige walls into a disco-like party of reds and greens.

The tables, which had normally been decorated quite plainly, were now filled with anything and everything Christmas-like. Small trees sat at the head of each table and at the front table where the teachers sat. The goblets shined with a dark red glow, and the cloths protecting the wood from careless students were dyed a light green and shined with sparkles of glitter. Every year they seemed to do something different, whether it be the color of lights on the tree, the decorations around the house banners hung on the walls or the jeweled arrangement on the cups.

You made your way to the Ravenclaw table quietly, smiling at your other friend Luna as you sat down next to her. Before you could say anything, everyone cheered at the sight of the food being served. To be fair, you were very hungry, and you almost joined in on the loud hollers and claps, mostly coming from the Gryffindor table.

As plates of food floated down the long tables you listened to everyone talking. At the table next yours the Hufflepuffs quietly munched on their food, no words being exchanged except for the occasional student squealing and cursing from another playing a trick on them. From that table you made eye contact with your friend Seungmin, raising your eyebrows and laughing when he held up a Potions book and mouthed “kill me” to you.

Behind you the Slytherins sat quietly, some of them laughing at one of the other houses while others had their heads in their books. You never fully understood the motivations of Slytherins. They loved to be top of the class yet they always felt as if there was something else higher to achieve. Though you couldn’t find them too weird, you were the top of the class and you still wanted to go higher, still wanted to prove yourself.

You always wondered if you should have been placed in Slytherin, but no one ever dared question the Sorting Hat. That, and you heard a rumor that the Hat took your own feelings into account, and you knew you were always more drawn to Ravenclaw.

On the opposite wall there was a loud murmuring, the Gryffindor’s heads clacking together and you could only assume they were talking about something interesting with your they all seemed to push together into the middle of the long table. How they could relay a message down the whole table made no sense to you, it all sounded like an impossible game of ‘Telephone’, yet with the nodding of heads it looked as if they got their message across.

“Think they’re having another dick measuring contest?” Jisung whispered in your ear as you both began filling up your plates. Of course he had to overload his, but you knew he would end up eating it all.

“I think they wait to go back to the Common Room to do that.” You stated simply, shoveling as much turkey as you thought you could eat onto your large plate. It always turned out that your eyes were bigger than your stomach, but much like Jisung, you were determined to finish.

To your other side Luna leaned towards you, one hand on a fork and the other holding a book open. “Have you guys finished the Herbology study book yet?” Her voice was soft and barely above a whisper.

OWLs started two weeks after Christmas break and to say you were completely not ready was an understatement. You had studied day and night since the beginning of the year, getting as many books from the library that you could. Learning was fun and while you were quite good at it, the thought of failing was always a fear of yours. With the deadline rapidly approaching, so was your heart rate.

“I skimmed through it but I feel like it would be better to have more hands-on experience.” Jisung shrugged, stuffing his cheeks with turkey and vegetables from the floating plates passing by even though he had a near full plate sitting in front of him.

“Smarty pants.” You looked at Jisung, sticking your tongue out at him. “I’ve been really busy with Potions so I haven’t started yet. How about you?”

“I haven’t even started either. I’ve been trying to memorize these spells for Charms but I can never find the time to practice them.” Luna launched forward, nose fitting perfectly in the middle of the textbook, a loud sigh escaping her.

“Well, we can study together more often if you want?” You offered, watching Luna lift her head up quickly. You feared for her neck when she did that.

The three of you would study together in a small group, sometimes recruiting other people and friends from other houses, but with the ‘big tests’ coming up, maybe studying together more often could help more than hurt. Although you did like studying alone more, it was definitely more beneficial to study in a group. It also offered as an occasional distraction when the stress got to be too high.

“Oh my god really? That sounds awesome. You’re the best.” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes while her hands rested in her lap. Through the years of knowing her and being her roommate for one of them, you knew Luna would occasionally meditate to ground herself. She was quite the quirky person, as most Ravenclaws were, but Luna took it to the next level. It wasn’t a bad thing, in fact it made her infinitely more interesting to talk to.

Her hair was what first drew you to her, it was a coral blue, but when she turned around for the first time you saw glimpses of reds and purples. When you asked her, she said it was an invention her father came up with, color changing hair dye. At that point you knew you had to be her friend.

A comfortable silence fell over the three of you as you continued to eat. Luckily you had friends that felt like silence was as good of communication as talking was. Well, Jisung was quite the jabberjaw, but he always knew when to stop and when to let the room descend into quiet.

If only the rest of the room could have stayed quiet.

Two tables down a loud crash caught everyone's attention. The silence you had wished for just a second ago granted to you. Your eyes fell on a wide eyed boy, his pink hair weighed down from liquid that had been poured on him. By whom? Like everyone else you looked next to him to see another wide eyed boy, this one with dark hair and seemingly older yet you weren’t quite sure.

“Oh shit.” The black haired one said, his wand quickly being tucked back into his red and black robe but it was definitely too late for trying to conceal anything with hundreds of eyes locked onto them.

Behind the boys came Professor McGonagall, the Head of the Gryffindors, although it was less of a walking over and more of an appearance from thin air. Her glasses rested on the tip of her nose as she looked down at the two cowering boys in front of her.

“Mr. Bang, what is it do you think you’re doing?” Neither of the two turned around, their eyes closed and noses scrunched. Eventually the older looking one turned around, his hands lightly trembling. If Gryffindors had anything to be afraid of, it was Potions class and McGonagall.

“I’m so sorry Professor. I was just practicing my Wingardium Leviosa spell for OWLs.” He reached next to him and patted the pink boy’s head, shooting him an apologetic look when the younger scowled at him. “I tried to levitate my goblet but I must have gotten distracted and it fell.”

You felt Jisung lean towards you, “I call bullshit, the water would have flown everywhere, why just on that poor boy’s head?” Of course Jisung would be the one to use the logical part of his brain to call someone out.

“You’re definitely a Ravenclaw, aren't you?” You chuckled, nodding at his statement. “As much as I hate to say it, you're right. It was obviously a prank or something.”

“And Mr. Yang,” McGonagall directed her attention to the pink haired boy. One of her hands rested on her hip, “you’re obviously not studying for OWLs, how did you get into this predicament?”

The two boys looked between each other then back at McGonagall. The older one, Mr. Bang, nudged the other with his elbow. At this point they both looked around and noticed the silence in the room, only causing their already pink faces to go full on cherry red.

“Uhh.” The younger one hesitated with his answer. Small droplets of water dripped from the tips of his pink hair. It wasn’t a bright pink, more of a faded bubblegum pink. Whether it was the aftermath of a spell or he chose to do that you weren’t sure but he looked cute. “I was just sitting next to Chan while he was practicing. I’m sorry.”

She nodded before pulling out her wand. With a flick of her wrist and an inaudible mumble of what could only be assumed as a spell, his pink hair flew up, strands flying everywhere before eventually settling back down. Everyone in the Great Hall gasped as they saw his hair was completely dry now. Even the recipient of the spell was surprised, his eyes crossed as he tried to take a look at the hair covering his forehead, mouth gaping open.

“Woah.” The other one, Chan, you could assume, inhaled and lifted his hand up to touch the other’s hair. “How did you do that?” He looked towards McGonagall, all fear and embarrassment gone in favor of wanting to know the spell.

“Maybe I’ll let you know when you pass your OWLs. For now, minus 20 points to Gryffindor.” Her voice conveyed disappointment as she turned around and seemed to glide back up to the big table at the front of the room.

Once she finished talking a murmur fell among the students. Each table went back to their own devices, studying, eating and gossiping as usual. You continued to eat, your plate slowly dissipating into empty as you listened to the noise around you. Although you couldn’t hear any specific conversation you were content in the atmosphere around you. Noise wasn't always the worst, but more often than not it felt like a million bee buzzing in your head so you tended to lean towards the silent route.

“Oh my god.” As if snapping you out of your thoughts, Jisung nudged you accidentally, pushing his plate away and patting his stomach through his robe. “That was so good I can feel my brain waves flowing.”

“You know sometimes I just have no idea what the fuck you’re saying.” You eyed him, pushing your plate away as well and shaking your head. If you were given a dollar for every time Jisung said something weird you would have been a billionaire in first-year.

“You don't know how many people have said that to me.” Jisung laughed, the same loud laugh that he always does. A lot of people would make fun of him for having such an animated laugh, yet you never found it annoying. It was like sneezing, when Jisung would laugh you would start to laugh as well. Once he finished laughing, he leaned his head on one of his hands, “anyways, do you have any plans for break?”

“I think I’m gonna stay here, I already told my parents I wanted to study for OWLs and not be distracted.” You paused when you saw students start to get up, signaling it was time for class. “Besides, our family wasn’t one for holidays so I would rather stay here and do something productive instead of just lay around for three weeks.”

Both of you stood up, following the students as they started meandering and finding their way towards their classes. Luckily you shared the first class with Jisung so you just followed him through the crowd, hand clutching a bundle of his robe so you didn't lose him.

The walk to class wasn’t long, and as you two sat down you both took out your books and quills, getting ready for another grueling day of mixing and hoping you don't blow that part of the castle off. Class hadn’t started yet but Jisung looked around at the other students, checking to make sure no one was listening in before leaning closer to you.

“I heard another student is also staying for break, some Hufflepuff.” Jisung said quietly, messing with the vials of liquids out in front of him.

“First of all,” You smacked his hand away from the ingredients for the day’s potion, “don’t fuck with the ingredients, you don't want to end up like that first-year.” Jisung pouted but let you continue, his hands now resting on his book. “Second of all, I’m focusing on my studying, hopefully they stay away and in their own space.”

You knew you sounded harsh, but you also knew that OWLs were the most important exams and you needed to pass them, though preferably not just pass but get high marks. Obviously if you ran into this Hufflepuff you would be polite, but ultimately that was your time to study. Besides, you didn't even know who this other person was. Maybe they were an asshole, then it would be infinitely easier to ignore them.

“I heard he was also a fifth-year. He.” Jisung emphasized it again, elbowing you into the side. “You guys could study together.” When he raised his eyebrows and wiggled in his seat you resorted to pushing Jisung over, laughing but also shooting him an evil eye. “You know when you do that look you just look like a puppy. Totally not intimidated at all.”

“I could push you over again.” You threatened, watching as more people started to file in before class started. “And I definitely do not want you to be my wingman again, I still have nightmares of last time.” Shuddering, you pushed the memory of the Yule Ball to the back of your head.

Jisung looked like he was going to combat your blow to his ability to wingman but before he could, Professor Slughorn strode through the door. All the students fell silent at his entrance, hands folded in front of their books, eyes scanning the liquids and cauldron in front of them.

As you listened to Slughorn drone on, picking up vials and mixing them into the cauldron, you felt a finger poke your elbow. Looking down you saw a piece of paper sitting between you and Jisung. When you looked up at him he was focusing on the front of the room but his mouth was quirked into a smirk that you knew meant that was a note from him. You grabbed it, opening it quickly and trying to read the messy scribbles from Jisung’s quill. When you finally did read it you shook your head, elbowing your best friend, crumbling the paper and putting it in your robe pocket.

“You never know what might happen ;)” - Your favorite wingman.

ii.

“I can’t believe we leave tomorrow.” Jisung’s cheek was pressed against the Herbology book, the page sticking to his skin. The steam from his hot chocolate floated into the air of the library. The pages beneath his face had some important text on whatever plant you were just learning about (if you're honest, you barely remember the name of the damn flower).

“You’ll be okay, Sung.” You reached across the table and patted his head. His hair was soft as always. When you first met him you were sure he used some sort of magic shampoo and conditioner or found a spell to make his hair that smooth but after being friends for 5 years you learned it was just ‘great genes’ as he had put it.

“It’s only for three weeks. Besides we can send each other letters.” Luna rested her hand over yours.

The three of you had been studying for nearly four hours. Having the day off was both a blessing and a curse, no classes but more time to cram studying in. The library was packed with students, all of the seats and window sills filled with bodies and books. Despite having so many students in one space it was quiet, no one wanting to upset the librarian fairies that flew through the bookcases and sought out anyone not following the rules.

“But it’s not the same.” Jisung drew out the last syllable. “I want to annoy you guys in real life not just letters.”

“Trust me you’ll find a way.” A chuckle escaped you when Jisung rolled his eyes, lifting his head and a pout prominent on his face.

“I guess it’ll be okay.” He looked down at the textbook, fingers quickly skimming over the page before he looked up, an alarming smile on his face. “Oh! Speaking of break,” He leaned closer to you. “I know who is staying here with you.” Jisung winked at you and if you didn’t know that the fairies would kick you out of the library you would have reached around and smacked him in the back of the head.

There was a moment of silence as Jisung waited for you to ask him who it was, and you desperately tried to hold back. You set your mouth in a thin line and shook your head. Yet, your curiosity dug through your brain and got caught in your throat. You knew if you opened your mouth those words would slip through.

So you did.

“Who is it?” You sighed, waiting for the answer. Truthfully, there wasn't anyone that you didn't want it to be but the answer still shocked you.

“Seo Changbin! The Herbology nerd.” Jisung nearly shouted, and it took you and Luna to tell him to quiet down.

You had known about Seo Changbin, seen him around the castle and in the library and although you didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he was a Hufflepuff and really good with plants, you did know that he was damn cute.

“Ooh! He’s cute!” Luna squealed, mirroring your thoughts. She bounced in her seat and patted you on the arm. “You guys should study together!”

As much as you would like to entertain that idea, you knew you would have to focus on studying alone. Sure, you could study with Luna and Jisung but that was different, they knew what methods worked and what didn’t. Their humor fit yours and having someone else come in, someone incredibly attractive and cute, would be infinitely more distracting than Jisung’s dick jokes and Luna’s tangents.

“I would rather stay in the solitude of our Common Room.” You noticed the frowns on their faces, so you decided to entertain them and hopefully get them off your back. “But, you never know what could happen, maybe he could help me with my Herbology troubles.”

“You can’t study Herbology without us!” Jisung pouted again, looking down at the book and looking back up at you. You found his pouting funny so you nodded, chuckling when he firmly nodded his head back. “Good. Now let’s please get at least this chapter done before my brain melts.”

iii.

It wasn’t long until you were sitting with Jisung and Luna for the last breakfast before everyone left for break. It was eerily quiet in the whole room, but you didn’t mind it, instead you just ate in silence, enjoying the presence of your friends around you before you couldn’t see them for three weeks.

You smiled when students from other houses were allowed to sit together and you found Seungmin walking over from the Hufflepuff table. He took the empty seat next to Luna, but not before nearly tripping and spilling all his food over the dark blue tablecloths that represented your house.

“Careful dude, I am not sitting next to you if you reek like eggs.” Jisung said with a full mouth, a laugh nearly sending his breakfast flying.

“You’re telling me to be careful yet you're the one talking with a mouth full of food.” Seungmin’s eyebrows raised. Jisung looked like he was going to argue back but decided against it. As soft as Seungmin looked, he was not afraid to stand up for himself (or anyone else, for that matter.)

“Both of you should be careful. If one of you spills on me and I have to take another shower I’m sending you a howler for Christmas.” You threatened, looking up at them through your lashes as you ate all you could.

Jisung stood up, arms raised in surrender and it took you yanking on his robe sleeve for him to sit down. “Okay,” He said a little too loudly, causing a few Slytherins to shoot you looks. “I surrender to you, your majesty.” You smacked his arm but laughed along with everyone else.

You stopped laughing before the rest of your friends did so you looked around at them, letting out a breath you didn’t know you had held onto. It was nice to laugh as loud as you wanted to and feel just that little bit of relief from stress before you were left alone to study until your brain turned to mush.

For the past few weeks you had convinced yourself you would be okay alone and that was definitely true to some extent, you loved to be alone and be left to study or read or learn new spells that might come in handy. You had even taken to learning the hair drying spell McGonagall used and that cut getting ready in half. As much as you loved to be alone you knew that you would have to distract yourself somewhat to not think about your friends and how much you would be missing them.

If anything, you knew you could sneak into Hogsmeade or take a stroll up to the Astronomy Tower or the Owlery and send a letter to your friends but you knew that a part of you would still miss them.

Your thoughts were cut off by Jisung tapping you on the head, his face coming into view as you spaced out looking at one of the illuminated lanterns on the wall above the Gryffindor table.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N? Anyone in there?” When you looked down you realized your friends were all staring at you. Jisung’s finger was still tapping on your head and you shook him off.

“Of course I’m here, just thinking about my schedule of studying.” It wasn’t a lie, you had made a calendar of subjects you would study every day with breaks to spend in the Astronomy Tower to calm you down.

“You’re gonna miss us aren’t you?” Luna asked, chewing on the rest of her food before snapping and watching as it disappeared to the dishwasher. She was always the straightforward one of the group, and that was saying something because mister honesty sat directly next to you.

“I’m definitely going to miss you Luna.” You nodded then gestured towards Seungmin and Jisung. “These two, though, I’m glad I’m gonna get some peace and quiet.”

“Hey!” They both said simultaneously.

“You know I’m kidding. Of course I'll miss you all like fucking crazy but like you said, we can send letters and I am happy I get extra time to study for OWLs.” You knew it was stupid to lie to them so you told the truth.

Everyone nodded before they went back to eating. It didn’t take long before everyone was finished, your plates gone and bellies full. After a long speech by the Headmaster students started getting up, some saying bye to friends and leaving and others just sitting and waiting for their ride to arrive.

“So,” Seungmin leaned forward on his elbows. “I heard that Changbin was also staying behind. He’s a sweet guy, always studying as well. He’s a few doors down from mine in the dorm and I hear him singing all the time. He’s damn good.” Jisung and Luna chuckled, wiggling their eyebrows at you.

“He sounds like a cool dude, maybe we could be friends after OWLs.” You held up your book. There was a moment of silence and you spoke up again. Before you could stop yourself your curiosity got the better of you. “Do you know why he’s staying back?”

“No idea, sorry.” Seungmin said. He looked up front before jumping up and grabbing his suitcase in a haste. “Oh shit my ride is here, I gotta go. Bye guys, have fun!”

You three said your goodbyes to the back of Seungmin’s head, watching his yellow scarf fly in the wind as he squeezed past everyone, muttering “excuse me”s and “sorry”s to anyone he bumped into. As soon as he was gone you turned back to Luna and Jisung, eyeing them as they skimmed through their books. Everyone was cramming before leaving for home, having three weeks at home without the pressure of studying was a godsend to most but some preferred taking their books with them to study while at home.

Although they were Ravenclaws, Jisung and Luna definitely did not share that sentiment. They much preferred to abandon all notion of studying in favor of taking a break. “Studying is important but there was only so much you can do before your brain explodes.” Professor Flitwick had said one day when he met with all of your house.

“So,” Jisung started and you held your breath, knowing something was coming. “Just friends?” He smirked and before you could shoot him down he continued. “All I’m saying is learning and studying is important, I wouldn’t be a Ravenclaw if I didn’t think so, but it’s also important to have a little fun here and there. You’ll have a lot of time and I know you’re not just going to spend it studying or in the Astronomy Tower.”

Shooting him a look you shrugged, he was right and you knew it but you would be dipped in Hell before admitting it to the boy in front of you. There would definitely be a lot of down time considering it was just you in the whole castle (and Changbin but you chose to ignore that thought).

“Chill out horndog.” Jisung chuckled at your attempt at an insult, patting you on the head. “If I did hang out with Changbin it definitely would be as just friends, no matter how cute he is.”

Jisung’s face moved and his mouth twisted, him mouthing a ‘I can't hear you’ which you knew wasn't true, Jisung acted like he wasn’t listening but his ears were as good as an owl’s. He heard anything and everything in a mile radius and could repeat it back to anyone in a heartbeat. So you were sure he heard you.

“Oh look!” Jisung jumped up, picking up his suitcase and cage with his owl Albert before looking back. “My ride’s here, hope you have fun with Mr. Dreamy Puff, you better spill all the juice when I get back.”

“There will be no juice to spill but sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. Have fun!” You yelled after Jisung. He waved behind him, body weaving through everyone and you swore you saw him almost take out a group of first-years on his way to the front of the castle.

“He’s gonna bowl someone over one day.” Luna shook her head, looking back to you. There was a quick silence before she spoke again “I’m not gonna pester you about Changbin, just remember to have fun as well as study. You have the castle pretty much all to yourself, enjoy it.”

You nodded, thankful you had Luna to not drive you completely insane like the two boys. After her statement you two sat in silence, occasionally chatting about Herbology or the latest Potions mishap. Around you students hurried to the front, the occasional pile up happening when a student tripped or knocked someone over.

Eventually you looked up from your book, foregoing studying for the moment and instead enjoying the noise and presence of everyone in the room. As time went on students filed out, the big suitcases and cages full of animals that lined the walls slowly dissipating until only a handful were left.

“My ride is here.” Luna quickly packed her book in her suitcase, zipping everything up and standing.

You pulled her into a hug, smelling the peppermint shampoo that changed scents based on the season (it was her favorite buy from Hogsmeade). The smell was pungent, like drinking butterbeer after chewing gum, but it was a smell that you knew you would miss.

“Relax a little, okay? Don’t stress about OWLs until after you get back.” You joked with her, knowing she would have fun with her unconventional family.

“I could say the same for you.” Luna tightened her scarf around her neck, the tip of her nose already red from the cold air bellowing in from the doors. “I’ll send letters, Scarlett has no problem flying to the castle.” Her owl stirred in its cage, the white feathers standing out against the bronze bars.

“Of course, I’ll send letters too, though it’ll probably just be me ranting about how many potions we have to memorize and me worrying I'll burn my eyebrows off doing it wrong.” You both laughed. “Now go! I don’t want you to miss the ride to the train.”

“Okay, okay. I’m going!” Luna darted away, screaming a final, “goodbye!” before disappearing into the white snow.

“Bye!” You shouted even though you knew she couldn’t hear you.

There were only three other students in the Great Hall waiting for the last train home. The high windows cast a shadow on your side of the room, the sun going down and the light bending. You weren’t sure if Changbin was there, there were two boys sitting at the Hufflepuff table yet having not seen the Changbin’s face, you had no indication that he was anywhere to be seen.

It wasn’t like you were looking for him or anything.

After looking up and down the table you noticed you were the only Ravenclaw left, even the seventh-year prefect Woojin was gone, having been one of the last ones to leave and help the first-years to the train. It all looked so empty sitting there, so you decided to call it a night and start the three week break in the morning.

You didn’t bother looking at anyone as you walked past, fingers playing with the pages in your Charms book as you made your way to the Ravenclaw Common Room.

Once you were inside, having solved the riddle lock many times before and answering immediately, you looked around and sighed. You decided not to think about how empty it was, instead focusing on walking up the stairs to your room. Although your bed was soft, you looked over and saw Luna’s empty one, a small pang echoing in your chest.

“I just need some sleep.” You muttered to no one but yourself. “I’ll feel better in the morning.” Turning over, you faced the window. The snow cascaded down so hard it almost looked like rain. It was calming, along with the mix of cold and warm from the fireplace in the Common Room.

You knew the first night alone would be hard but the particular lack of a human presence anywhere near you was the most difficult thing. At night if you couldn't sleep you would find yourself talking out loud and eventually Luna would respond to you. That time, however, she wasn’t there to respond.

The first night is the worst, you thought to yourself, twisting under the comforter and trying to find a comfortable position. Just get through the first night and you’ll be okay.

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes, reviewing different charms and spells that you had learned through the week. It was a nice distraction, and you felt yourself drift off with the sound of the wind in the background.

iv.

The start of the third day you woke up with a massive headache.

The previous two days had been spent in the Common Room, a big blue and bronze quilt draped over your figure as you stayed curled up on one of the large couches. The fireplace remained warm and inviting and you found yourself content in reading about Transfiguration and the history of magic for the first two days.

Starting the third day with a pain almost as bad as hearing the screaming of a Mandrake was definitely not how you wanted it to start, but there you were.

“Oh, fuck.” Your hand stayed on your head as you sat up, temples thumping with a rush of blood. The light from your lamp burned as you opened your eyes, forcing you to squint.

It’s not like you hadn’t gotten enough sleep, in fact, one could argue you got too much. There were often times you sat in the large chair, book in your lap, that you found yourself dozing off, time disappearing into dust in an hourglass. You were only focused on the words in front of you and the sense of dusk outside that forced you to trudge up the stairs and finally sleep in your bed.

The rumbling of your stomach made you stand up, slipping into your robe and fixing your bed head. The time on the clock indicating it was breakfast time so you slowly trudged down towards the Great Hall, the paintings whispering as you walked by.

As soon as you walked through the large open doors you stopped in your tracks. The Great Hall had transformed. In the middle of the room was the giant Christmas tree, lights twinkling like stars and bulbs filled with full snow scenes glittering across the branches. At the very top stood a fairy, twirling on her toe like a ballerina.

On the edge of the room right next to the fireplaces were small tables, sets of chairs set up for anyone to rest in. All of the chairs were empty except one.

Seo Changbin.

His back was to the door, not noticing you walked in. Wanting to stay out of his eyesight, you quickly shuffled to a table as far away as possible, wincing when you pulled the chair out and a loud noise echoed through the large room. When Changbin didn’t look back you let out a breath of relief.

Your plate appeared in front of you, with all the food the castle had to offer for breakfast. Again your stomach reminded you of exactly what you came there for. You ate in silence, the past two days of living on a small dinner you would sneak down to the Great Hall to get and the few snacks you hadn’t eaten from your last outing at Hogsmeade.

As you ate your eyes wandered, settling on the only other person in the room, and you were surprised to find his eyes staring back at you. Immediately you lowered your head, playing with the egg on your plate. All the food was nearly gone and after not eating much you found your stomach was definitely full.

You were about to wave your wand to send your plate to the dishwashers when the feeling you were being watched washed over you. Pausing, you assessed your options. You took the easy way out, looking up and coming face to face with none other than Seo Changbin.

You never had enough time to actually look at him, only recognizing his name from first-year when you were sorted into your houses and being called in some classes. Now that he was standing in front of you, you noticed how handsome he was.

He had two yellow and black scarves wrapped tightly around his neck, his robe held close to his body. His cheeks and nose were a soft rosy color, as if he had fallen asleep face first on a pillow. Dark hair framed his face, red highlights reflecting in the light of the candles. His eyes were bright despite their dark color, lips curled into a slight smile and you felt a warmth different from the warmth of the candles in the room.

“Hi.” His voice was light, barely leaving his lips in a wisp of condensation from his hot breath.

“Hi.” You responded, a smile making its way onto your face.

There was a moment of silence and you realized that Changbin’s hands were resting on the back of the chair in front of you, the sound of his nails tapping onto the wood the only noise. It echoed through the room loudly. Or you just thought it was loud, the silence heightening everything around you.

“Can I sit here?” Changbin asked, pointing to the chair across from you. When you nodded Changbin smiled wider, slowly pulling out his chair and sitting down. As opposed to almost all other Hufflepuffs you’ve known, he stayed silent upon looking back up at you. Normally you would feel uncomfortable under someone’s stare, but you found yourself entranced with the way his eyes shone in the candlelight.

“So,” you broke the silence, “I see you’re also staying here for break.” Great, just the state the obvious. You thought to yourself. Looking down you noticed your plate still there, quickly taking out your wand from your robe and mumbling the spell, watching as it disappeared from in front of you.

“Yea, yea I am.” Changbin paused for a moment, softly hitting his temple with his fist. “Oh shit, I forgot to introduce myself, you probably think I’m weird. My name’s Seo Changbin, Hufflepuff, fifth-year.” He stuck out his hand and you chuckled at his adorable expression, like he was mentally hitting himself.

“I’m Y/N, Ravenclaw, fifth-year as well.” You reached out, his hand was warm and fit well in your own. The handshake was done way too fast, you noticed, trying not to let a pout show itself.

It was then that you realize you had quite literally rolled out of bed earlier, rubbing a hand over your face and smoothing down your hair with your other. “I just woke up, I probably look so bad right now.” You laughed.

“I think you look cute.” Changbin mumbled, shrugging his head and looking down at his hands. Before you could reply - quite possibly with a you too - he looked back up at you. “I just woke up as well, I was up all last night studying for OWLs and I was so hungry I figured I should probably have breakfast.”

“Are you nervous for the exams?” You were intrigued about whether or not everyone else was as scared about OWLs as you and your friends were. Just from the tidbits Jisung heard around the castle, Gryffindors were leisurely studying, Slytherins were nowhere to be seen in the library, probably studying in their Common Room, and most Hufflepuffs were in their own little study groups, determined on studying almost as much as Ravenclaws were.

“I definitely am. I think most of us are, we all have one or two subjects we are the most scared for.” You nodded along to his words, watching the way his fingers tapped on the table.

“What subjects are the hardest for you?” You asked.

“Charms for sure. This dumb thing,” he pulled out his wand from his robe, “refuses to listen to me sometimes.”

His wand was very pretty, you noted. Dark wood with specs of gold glittered throughout it. A lighter brown wood flashed from beneath his fingers and you saw a soft glow from the tip as he waved it around. When he put it back in his robe you trailed your eyes back up to his face, a lopsided grin stuck on it.

“How about you? Surely you don’t have anything you’re too worried about, you’re top of our class.” Changbin leaned forward, shoulders no longer slouched in an uncomfortable position. It surprised you that he knew who you were, yet a smile involuntary made its way onto your face.

You shrugged, not wanting to admit that your worst subject was one that his house should be the best at. “I’m not top of the class.” When Changbin raised his eyebrows you chuckled. “Okay, okay, top five, but I’m not first!” He raised his hands up in defeat, a louder laugh echoing from the both of you. From the top of the Christmas tree the fairy chuckled as well.

“You’re avoiding my question.” Changbin smirked, crossing his arms in a playful manner.

“You’re really observant.” At this point you weren’t avoiding his question because of embarrassment, it was actually quite fun to mess around with someone other than Jisung.

“You do know I’m a Hufflepuff? There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you off the hook.”

You sighed dramatically, throwing yourself onto the table and smiling at the table upon hearing Changbin’s laugh. Actually, it was more of a giggle than a laugh. But either way it was really cute and you were sure you wanted to hear it more often.

“Herbology.” You mumbled into the table. When a sound of confusion came from the boy across from you, you spoke up. “Herbology!”

There was silence, and when you looked up you almost had the wind knocked out of you. Changbin was smiling, an extremely big smile that made his eyes disappear and his nose scrunch up. You’re friends had told you he was cute but he blew past that statement. He was more than just cute, he was like ultra cute with a big side of extremely handsome.

You were too busy admiring Changbin that you missed what he said, your face heating up when you had to ask. “What?”

“I said,” He chuckled again, arms unfolding and resting back onto the table. “I’m quite good at Herbology, one of the top in the class, in fact.” Although he said that, it wasn’t in a bragging tone, more of a proud hint to his voice. “I can help you if you want?”

The reminder of the loneliness you would be going back to if you said no creeped into your mind. Paired with a small warmth that spread through you when Changbin smiled prompted you to nod.

“Sure. I definitely need it.” You chuckled, completely forgetting about the deal you made with Jisung.

Above you the fairy on the Christmas tree squealed. “Ah, young love!” She screamed, her shrill voice echoing through the large room and piercing your ears. As she said that you're whole body felt warm, but not the warmth that previously came and went. Looking at Changbin you found his face turned towards the floor, his cheeks dusted once again with pink and the corners of his lips pulled into a small smile.

“So what were you planning on doing today?” Changbin asked, the tint in his cheeks slowly fading. Perhaps you were letting your loneliness guide you, but you found yourself drawn into Changbin and his soft smile and pretty laugh. That or you had been slipped a love potion in your breakfast. Or Changbin was just that alluring.

It was probably the last one.

“Just studying.” You shrugged, not having anything special except digging your face in a book. “That’s why I stayed here for break. That and the fact that all my relatives in one house together isn’t the best thing to go home to.”

“I get it, family is complicated.” Changbin nodded. “Do you wanna maybe study together? You know that saying, two heads are better than one.”

“Yea, I think that would be leagues better than staying cooped up in my Common Room. I can only take so many taunts from the paintings outside for not coming out all day.” You rolled your eyes, reminded of the annoying voices that were seemingly like a loudspeaker in the Common Room. How their voices carried through the walls like that, you had no clue, but you wished that they had built the castle more soundproof.

“Oh don’t remind me.” Changbin groaned. “I get a lot of shit from our paintings as well. So annoying.”

“So do you want to go to the library?” You asked, getting up from your spot at the table. “Oh wait, I need to stop by my Common Room to get my scarf, it’s only going to get colder as the day goes on.” There were plenty of books in the library to study from, not needing your assigned textbooks just yet. You definitely didn’t, however, want to die from hypothermia.

Changbin stood up as well, hand tousling the messy hair at the back of his head. “Do you wanna use my extra scarf?” His other hand played with the edges of the extra fabric around his neck. “I mean, as long as you don’t mind wearing another house’s colors.”

“Oh,” You said, surprised. “I don’t mind, but won’t you be cold?”

“I’ll be fine, it’s actually kinda hot in here so I was going to take it off anyways.” Changbin’s face was flushed, teeth pulling at his bottom lip.

“Okay then, thank you.” You smiled, watching him quickly unravel the yellow fabric and hold it out for you. When you grabbed it you noticed how warm it was, like it had been sitting in front of a heater for an hour. You didn’t mind though, wrapping it around your neck and nearly nuzzling into it. There was a delicate smell to it, like laundry soap that had just started to fade and you wondered if this is how Changbin smelled in general.

Stop it, you thought to yourself, just friends. Focus on OWLs. Your fingers played with the edge of the scarf. It was then that you noticed Changbin staring at you, waiting for you to do something, and you realized you had just been standing there playing with the loose strings of the accessory.

“So,” You flipped the scarf over your shoulder, striking an overdramatic pose. “How do I look?” The warmth came back when Changbin laughed, and you fought to smother it into ashes.

“Hm, I think you look fabulous, a natural Hufflepuff.” You smacked his shoulder. “Hey! That was the highest compliment I could have given you.” Loud laughter echoed through the Great Hall again, and you were sure the unicorns and other animals in the Forbidden Forest could have heard it from over there.

“Okay let’s go before you think up any other ‘compliments’ for me.” You gestured towards the library. It was only two floors up so luckily it wasn’t that far of a walk, but you still wanted to get it over with so you could relax in the soft chairs up above.

“You say that like I don’t already have a whole catalogue loaded into my brain.” Changbin turned towards the big doors, looking up in the general direction of the library. “I’ll race you?”

Upon hearing that you got into what you could only assume was a good enough stance for getting ready to run. “Okay.” You said, crouching down even more and looking towards your right at Changbin. “1, 2, 3, go!”

With that, you took off, laughing at the faded yelling of Changbin following behind you. Everything turned into a blur, yellow streaks from your (Changbin’s) scarf and the words being screamed at you from the paintings quickly passing by faded until you didn’t care about anything. It was freeing, being able to run through the halls and not worry about losing points (though you did think about the paintings ratting you out to the professors when they came back).

As soon as you had passed through the door to the library you stopped in your tracks, hands resting on your knees and breath coming out in small gasps. It wasn’t everyday you ran as fast as you did, in fact, the last time you did run that fast you were being chased by a small troll through the Forbidden Forest.

You took your time walking to one of the plush chairs surrounding a huge table, plopping down on it unceremoniously. Yeah, you had won the race, but had you really won the race?

Within a few seconds of sitting down Changbin came bounding through the door frame, chest pumping with every labored breath he took. He followed the same path as you, starting with his hands on his knees and then slowly shuffling towards a chair. Unlike you, he nearly collapsed before reaching the chair, fortunately he barely made it, a loud thud echoing through the library when he fell into it.

“Holy,” He took a breath and let it out, “shit.” Changbin laid back in the chair, hands clasped in front of his stomach. “You’re so,” Another breath, “fucking fast.”

“I knew a shortcut.” You tried to laugh but all that came out was a puff of air, lungs still working overtime to provide you oxygen.

“Damn Ravenclaws.” Changbin mumbled, his breath still escaping in short puffs.

You both took a few minutes to calm down, your backs resting comfortably on the plush cushions. You felt your breath even out, a small bead of sweat falling from your hairline. The smell of old books filled your nostrils, small fibers from the scarf coming up to tickle your nose. Although you had just run until you felt like your lungs would pop, you felt relaxed.

Snow fell softly outside, cascading past the windows of the library and making everything feel like a winter wonderland even from the comfort of the heat filled castle. There was a sense of urgency to study, what with so little time until OWLs, yet as you sat there, you also felt comfort wash over you. You still had a month and a half, there was time.

“We should start studying now.” Changbin said, his voice still holding an airiness to it. Despite him saying that, neither of you moved, feet staying planted on the plush carpet. Neither of you bothered to even sit up, backs being scrunched up slightly from slouching.

A few more minutes passed by, your fingers stroking the soft chair and head turned to watch the snow falling outside. You desperately wanted to grab a thick coat and just lie in the snow for a few hours. Or a few days. Or a few weeks. However long it took for your mind to stop worrying about OWLs.

“Penny for your thoughts?” His soft voice pierced the silence, and you tore your eyes away from the winter wonderland outside to look at Changbin. His hair was cut perfectly, some strands wavy and messy while others completely straight. His eyes were completely calm, just observing you and you felt more exposed than if you were just given a truth serum.

“Just thinking about the snow and OWLs.” You rested your cheek on your shoulder (well, the thick yellow scarf covering your shoulder) eyes closing for a moment of peace before opening them to Changbin’s gaze again. “You know, stressing about exams is my secret talent.” You continued, a near silent chuckle escaping you.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, you’re one of the smartest people in the castle, but a little extra studying won’t hurt.” Changbin sat up, a loud huff accompanied by a puff of air following his statement.

“Fine, fine.” You sat up as well, tightening Changbin’s scarf around your neck. There was a slight scent of pine needles and cinnamon, an unlikely combination but it made you immediately relax. “But don’t blame me if I start dozing off, your scarf is way more comfortable than any of mine.”

“If you want, you can keep it, I have Hufflepuff friends that took up knitting and can make me however many I want.” Changbin smiled and you declined to retort with, well they won’t smell like you.

“I’ll think about it.” You looked around at the rows of books, debating silently what subject to start first. Of course, the logical thing would be to start on what you were the worst at, but sometimes you decided to ignore those thoughts in favor of working up to the worst. “So where should we start? History of magic?”

With Changbin’s nod you both set out a plan of gathering books, spreading them on the table and skimming through each one. Occasionally you would quiz one another, loud laughter erupting in the normally quiet space when one of you would mumble a funny answer to one of the questions.

That continued until the sky started turning orange outside the windows, a deeper sense of fatigue settling over the both of you and reminding you both that sleep was an important part of studying. It was then that you both rose from your seats, uttering a soft goodbye with a warm handshake as you both went your separate ways to your Common Rooms.

It was also that night that you realized you hadn’t taken his scarf off.

This pattern of eating breakfast in peace at the same table and racing to the library to study all day went on for a few more days until one morning you approached your normal table, plates of food already laid out. Changbin was already sat down, stuffing his cheeks with everything he could fit in there.

“Are you okay?” You asked, sitting down in front of him and starting to eat. You noticed it was everything you always put on your plate, and your face heated up at the thought of Changbin paying that close of attention on you. Luckily you could hide any hint of the heat rising with the scarf - Changbin’s scarf - wrapped around your neck.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” His cheeks were still stuffed with food, words coming out slightly jumbled. “I figured today could be the day we get some good old hands-on practice!”

“Okay, I’m both confused and worried at the same time.” You started eating, the warmth from the food spreading through your body and instantly brightening you up from the bone chilling cold night before.

You both ate in silence, Changbin finishing before you and spending his extra time looking at the Christmas tree. He had a small smile on his face, the lights from the ornaments dancing across his features. With the soft light from the tree illuminating you both, you sat staring at Changbin, who was quite literally glowing.

“Okay so what are we doing today?” You asked, sending your plate away once you had finished eating.

A sly grin made its way onto Changbin’s face and he leaned forward, hand resting underneath his chin. “It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, great. I love surprises.” You said sarcastically, yet a smile still popped up. As much as you tried to act upset or annoyed at not knowing, you couldn’t stop the warmth that filled you at having Changbin’s smile, albeit mischievous, directed at you.

Changbin stood up, extending his hand towards you. Confused, you stood up as well, putting your hand into his and feeling the warmth heat up when he interlaced your fingers. “Close your eyes.” The last thing you saw before darkness washed over you was the slight tint of pink on Changbin’s cheeks and the tilt of his lips up in a now genuine smile.

You inched forward slowly, Changbin’s hand firmly secured in your own so you didn’t accidentally walk into a wall or something. “Just trust me.” Changbin’s voice came from directly next to you and he squeezed your hand softly. You chose not to reply, just squeezing his hand back and waiting as he started picking up the pace.

When you finally started walking normally you focused your other senses, listening to the pictures mumble things about people in the castle over break, to which Changbin firmly shushed them. His hand was warm, palm moist with a thin layer of sweat. Whether it was from your hand in his or the warmth of the fireplaces providing heat you didn’t know.

From what you knew of the placement of the paintings, you were headed in the opposite direction of the library. As you already guessed, you knew that you weren’t going there, yet the curiosity still ate you up inside.

All of a sudden Changbin stopped and you almost ran into him, a sound of surprise coming from your lips. The feeling of his eyes on you even though you couldn’t see him made you impatient. You tapped your shoe on the ground, trying to fill the silence with some sort of noise.

“Okay you can open your eyes.” Changbin said, slowly disconnecting your hands and you had to fight to keep the frown off your face.

Opening your eyes you found you were stood in front of the door to the Herbology room, the full glass wall showing the rows and rows of plants all laid out. The thought of actually handling them while the professor wasn’t there was worrying, and you looked towards a smiling Changbin with raised eyebrows.

“So we’re going to be messing with the plants? Without the professor?” Your voice raised slightly in worry.

“Well, yeah. Why else would I bring you here?” The smile on Changbin’s face comforted you, yet you still had the thought of not being allowed in there. “I know what you’re thinking,” Changbin continued on when he noticed you not answering, “Professor Longbottom asked me to stay behind during break to tend to the plants. You could say I have a green thumb.” He gave a thumbs up and you chuckled.

“So I’m not gonna die of a mandrake’s scream or anything?” Changbin chuckled at your question.

“Just trust me.” He said, opening up the door and gesturing for you to walk in. “I wouldn’t let you die, there’s no one else to pin it on if you do.”

“Ha ha,” you faked a laugh, walking into the Herbology room. It was a completely glass room, and you could see the thick snow blanket on the ground outside. You had to admit it was a very beautiful sight, and you stood in awe. The rainbow of plants contrasting with the pitch white outside was picture perfect.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Changbin came up behind you, walking down to the opposite end of the room. From there, he picked up two pots, each with similar looking leaves and shapes. You were still mesmerized by the picturesque background to focus on anything that was happening in the warm room.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin asked, much closer. He was still holding the two pots of plants.

“It’s just, so beautiful.” You had seen snow plenty of times before, being at Hogwarts for five years and being there for the slow building cold months, but nothing compared to the sight you saw. The inches of snow coating the ground made everything look bright, even the dark leaves on the trees at the edge of the forest were stark white. It was like a winter wonderland you would only see on TV.

“Yea it is.” Changbin sat the pots down, turning around and leaning on the table. He faced the outside, a soft smile on his face as he watched the slow cascading of the snow. “I’ve been staying here for the past two years to take care of the plants and I’ll never get tired of how gorgeous this view is.”

When you tore your eyes away from the outside you looked towards Changbin, your face becoming hot upon noticing he was staring at you. You smiled at him, turning around towards the plants on the table. “So what are these?” You asked. You recognized the colors and leaf shapes but you doubted you could dig deep in your brain to remember what their names and purposes were.

“Well,” Changbin turned around, gesturing to the plant on the left. “This one is wormwood. We’ve used it before in Potions class. It’s most commonly used for healing potions, but putting too much could result in extreme effects including death. Kinda ironic.”

You nodded along, watching the way Changbin softly petted the plant. It was almost as if he was communicating with them. His touch was gentle, the same sort of gentle as when he held your hand while leading you to the classroom.

“This one is very similar, both in looks and use. This is dittany.” He pointed to the other plant to his right. “It’s used for healing but doesn’t need to be mixed into a potion, just one leaf could heal a skin wound.”

You again nodded at what he was saying, trying to distinguish between the two. It became easier as you observed them up close, closer than the professor would let anyone in class. Everything started clicking together and as you listened to Changbin go on and on about each and every plant in the room (besides the mandrakes, you already knew plenty from the extensive lesson in second-year) you started understanding just how to tell the difference between each and every plant. For so long you despised walking into Herbology class but the way Changbin described it made it seem so simple and even a little bit fun.

As he went on you helped him tend to the plants, listening to him naming and describing each one along the way. The way his eyes would light up upon looking at each different pot as he walked along made a smile appear on your face. He was so engulfed in talking that he didn’t notice you stop at the end of a row, watching as he was oblivious to everything happening around him.

When he finally noticed you weren't behind him he had reached the opposite end of the row, turning around and seeing you standing so far away at the other end of the room. He had stopped talking, fingers tapping on the wood table in front of him. His lip was pulled between his teeth, a hint of rose on his cheeks.

“Sorry, I get carried away with talking about the plants.” He shrugged, looking back up at you.

“No it’s okay.” It was your turn to get embarrassed, even though moments ago you had kind of, not really, been staring at him unabashedly. “I’m learning so much better than if I was stuck in front of a textbook all day. Besides,” You started walking up the row slowly, recalling all the plant’s names in your head. You could remember some of them, and you thought that even a little progress was progress nonetheless. “I love listening to people talk about what they’re passionate about.”

“What are you passionate about?” Changbin asked.

You thought for a moment, your feet stopping in front of a lily flower. “Learning.” You started, “I’ve also really loved astronomy since I was a kid. It’s one of my best subjects.”

“I’m not that great with astronomy. They’re so far away that I just end up not caring too much but the stars are pretty to look at.”

“I can help you with it one day if you want?” You asked as you started to walk forward again. Outside a strong wind whistled through the trees but you paid no mind, focusing instead on the pricks of the leaves of each plant you passed by. You made sure not to touch the poisonous ones, Changbin was a plant expert but he couldn’t stop the effects of any of the deadly plants.

There was silence as Changbin nodded, turning around to load the mister with water for the plants. By the time you made your way up to him he had finished, facing you again with the same pink cheeks and smile on his face. You pushed down the thought of leaning forward just a bit more, and instead pulled back, one of your hands going to stroke the leaves of a dittany plant. The room was a mix of scents, though the unmistaken rush of cinnamon from the scarf around your neck flushed everything else out.

“I, uh, I think that's enough for the day.” Changbin was the first to break the silence, one hand playing with his sleeve while the other tapped on the table in front of him. “Those are all the ones Professor Longbottom said would be on the test, but don’t tell him I told you.”

“There’s no paintings in here to eavesdrop and rat us out so your secret’s safe with me.” You made a lock gesture over your mouth, lightly tossing the imaginary key over your shoulder.

“Hm.” He put his hand on his chin, stroking an imaginary beard. “Okay, I guess I can trust you.”

“Well you've already told me so you’ve got no choice.” You laughed, noticing the sun starting to set outside. Long shadows made the glass room you were in seem much more eerie. “So, should we get going back to our rooms? It’s getting dark.”

Changbin leaned forward, the same damned smirk on his face and you didn’t know whether you wanted to slap it off or kiss it off. “Are you scared? I can protect you.” He raised his right arm, flexing it but with his thick robe in the way you couldn’t see any hint of muscle.

“If anyone is gonna need protecting it’s you,” You jabbed at his arm, laughing when he feigned hurt. “I’m the stronger one here.” You mimicked Changbin, holding up your right arm and flexing.

“Remind me never to meet you in an alley, I’m afraid I’ll get my ass beat.” Changbin held up his hands in defeat, eyebrows raised and a loud laugh coming from his mouth. When he lowered his arms his smile lowered as well. “It’s getting really dark though, do you want me to walk you back to your Common Room?”

You were going to decline, but then you remembered what you said only moments ago. Perhaps tonight was the best night to help him in return. “Actually, I have a surprise for you.”

Another strong wind from outside rustled the branches of the trees. The sun had almost completely set, and you knew that was the perfect opportunity to go somewhere you had been missing out on since everyone left for break.

“Oh? Okay, where are we going?” Changbin asked.

“It’s a surprise.” You smirked, leaning forward and grabbing his hand as he did to you earlier in the day. “Close your eyes.”

You waited for Changbin to close his eyes, not before giving you a very suspicious look to which you raised your eyebrows. Once he did, you interlaced your fingers with his, taking notice on how sweaty they were. Deciding not to torture him too much, you started walking, taking special care not to bump him into any walls or anything.

“You better not be leading me to the pools to push me in.” Changbin threatened from behind you, the hand that wasn’t grasped in yours covering his eyes.

“I’m not that cruel.” You chuckled, almost wincing at how tight he was holding your hand. On the surface you could see no nervousness, but with the way his fingers twitched and the small scrunch of his nose you knew he was hesitant. “Just trust me, I trusted you right?” When Changbin made a small noise of agreement you continued. “Exactly, you’ll be fine.”

A silence filled the castle as you continued walking, knowing it was only a few more minutes before you made it to your destination. A deep rumble came from behind you and before you could ask any questions the familiar notes of a Christmas song came flowing around you. You decided not to say anything, enjoying the soft sound of Changbin’s voice behind you drowning out the murmurs of the paintings you passed.

By the time you got to the tower Changbin was humming the end of the Christmas song, his thumb tapping the rhythm into your hand. It was quite comforting to have his voice fill the silence, bouncing off the walls and seemingly echoing through the whole castle.

“Okay.” You stopped in front of the doors, giggling at how Changbin almost ran into you. “You can open your eyes now.”

Changbin took his hand off his face, eyes opening and immediately finding yours before searching around. His mouth dropped open when he saw the intricate carvings on the door in front of you.

“As payment for you helping me with Herbology I decided to help you with Astronomy.” You released his hand, a cold air rushing in and reminding you how empty it was.

“Aren’t we gonna get in trouble if we’re in there?” Changbin asked, the hand that was previously in yours fall to his side, palm slowly rubbing on his robe.

“Professor Sinistra lets me up here all the time.” You proceeded forward, holding open the door and waiting for him to follow. “I go up here at least twice a week, you’ll be fine, I promise.”

Changbin didn’t say anything as he followed, the only sounds being your feet on the steps going up to the top of the tower. You had climbed these steps hundreds of times before but it never really got easier, you found. It was extremely tall, the tallest thing in the castle, and your legs always felt like jelly by the time you made it to the top.

That time, as well, your legs wobbled when you finally reached the top, but a hand rested lightly on your back, steadying you and preventing you from falling. “Careful.” Changbin’s voice was very close behind you, his fingertips just barely pressing into your spine. “I thought you said you had been up here many times before.”

“I guarantee your legs would never get used to walking up these stairs either.” You shot him a side eye, walking over to the far end of the room and sitting down. “Come on.” You patted the spot next to you. You didn’t see Changbin come to sit next to you but you felt his presence move and eventually settle beside you.

“It’s so beautiful.” Changbin followed your eyes to the ceiling. Night had settled in and with the darkness of the forest around the castle it only amplified the bright show above your heads. You made a noise of agreement, your shoulder brushing up against Changbin’s.

“So, test time.” Changbin groaned at your statement and you rolled your eyes, resting back on your hands as you continued to search the sky for the perfect question. “Where is Capella?”

Once you found it yourself, you looked over at Changbin, chuckling at the absolutely clueless look on his face. The light from the stars lit up his features, his pouted lips, scrunched up nose and quick flickering eyes all shone with a glittering shimmer.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Changbin’s pout extended further when he heard your laugh, “How do you find them? They all look the same.”

You tried to not laugh anymore, but the way his lip jutted out and the loud sigh that escaped him was too cute, so you chuckled again. “You have to put it in perspective of Polaris, the North Star.”

“There,” You pointed up towards the bright star directly above you both, “is Polaris. So Capella is due east of Polaris and it’s also one of the brightest stars. We learned about this in second year. There it is.” You found the constellation it was in and pointed, looking over at Changbin and finding him squinting in the general direction of where your finger was.

“Which one?” Changbin asked, still squinting towards the stars.

You sat up, leaning over and grabbing one of Changbin’s arms. Time seemed to slow down as your fingers danced up his arm, pushing his fingers down until only his index finger was up. You guided his hand until he was pointing at the star in question, but you didn’t let go of him.

“There it is.” You didn’t feel the need to raise your voice so you softly spoke into the air around you. “There’s Capella.”

When you finally let go of his hand you turned to him, a near silent gasp escaping you when you realized just how close you were. Your noses were almost touching and you felt both the warmth from his breath and from his body heat. There was also a familiar warmth that started at your face and spread through your whole body. You were almost tempted to take off your - Changbin’s - scarf but you decided against it, knowing the cold would creep in quickly.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin had lowered his hand and it was resting in his lap. The fog from his breath lingered in the air before floating up towards the stars.

You tried to think of something to tell him other than the overwhelming warmth that undoubtedly came from being under his gaze, or the fact that you were only mere inches away from kissing him. It was something you never really entertained the idea of, dating. Sure, there were cute guys and girls at the school but you knew studying was way more important.

But spending the past few days with Changbin, laughing and studying and having quite possibly the best time in a while with him, all you thought about was spending whatever time you could with him. Perhaps it was the loneliness or perhaps it was actually Changbin, you weren’t sure but you were more than happy to spend the rest of the break with him.

“Uh,” You stuttered, moving away from him and looking down at your hands. Your face burned and when you looked back up at Changbin you saw his cheeks were a bright crimson. “Just really happy that I have someone to spend the break with. I can imagine how lonely it must be to be the only person in the castle.”

“Yeah,” Changbin looked down at his hands in his lap. “I love taking care of the plants but the past two years have been kinda lonely.” He shrugged, looking back up at you. By the time his eyes met your his cheeks had slowly lost their red color. “But you’re here now so it’s much better now.”

You nodded, and through the silence you felt the tendrils of sleep clawing at your brain. You fought back a yawn and looked back up at the stars. Ever since first year you had been coming up there at night to watch the stars. There was something so peaceful and serene about sitting in the tower and just sitting underneath the stars.

“Tired?” Changbin smiled softly. When you nodded he stood up, extending his hand to you. “I’ll walk you back to your Common Room.”

You reached forward and let yourself get helped up, smiling back at him. As soon as you were upright he let go of your hand and you fought not to get disappointed at the lack of his hand in yours.

“My brain is melted from talking about Herbology.” You laughed as you started walking down the steps of the tower. “So many plants and uses and effects.”

“I feel the same about Astronomy and Charms, an infinite amount of stars and hundreds of thousands of spells to memorize. It’s fucking impossible.” Changbin said, his feet making a loud echo through the stone walls.

“Nothing is impossible.” You countered, focusing your eyes on your feet and trying not to miss a step. “Things get hard but not impossible.”

You walked in silence, the only sound you heard was the soft footsteps and the whispers of the paintings.

“You shouldn’t be out at night.” A woman spoke loudly from one of the paintings. The pictures around her seemed to get the message in a chain reaction, they all looked around at each other and repeated the same phrase.

In your head you knew the paintings couldn’t do anything at that moment to get you in trouble, but you also knew they could relay messages to professors when everyone got back. You looked back at Changbin, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Can’t we just have some fun?” Changbin shot back at the paintings, and you watched with amusement as they all were silenced. “You’ll probably forget by the time everyone comes back anyways.”

You both laughed as the paintings disappeared behind their borders. As your laugher dissipated a low hum came from behind you and you smiled at the sound of whatever song Changbin was humming along to.

The walk to your Common Room wasn’t too long, so you got there before Changbin could finish the first song. There wasn’t much else to say, but you also found that you didn’t really need words to convey whatever you were feeling.

You nodded towards Changbin, the small hint of a smile being somewhat hidden by the yellow scarf around your neck. Heat creeped up your face when Changbin mirrored your expression, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” It came out as more of a statement than a question but you still nodded to confirm. “Great.” Changbin stood still, not moving. “I’ll, uh, I’ll go now.”

When you nodded again you turned to the door to your Common Room, watching out of the corner of your eye to see Changbin turning around, fingers playing with the sleeves of his robe and head ducked low. You read the riddle on the picture above the door, getting distracted when you heard a voice from the hallway.

It was singing.

It was Changbin.

You stood there in front of the door and listened to him singing. Although you couldn’t really distinguish any words other than ‘love’ and ‘snow’, you were still in awe at how pretty he sounded. His singing was much different than his speaking voice. Where his voice was deep and rough, his singing was light and airy. Never in a million years would you expect him to sing like that but you loved it.

His voice slowly dissipated as he walked away, and you stayed standing there until the last note could be heard following him towards the Hufflepuff Common Room. You wondered if he would still be singing in his dorm room, and you thought of him pacing his room, a serious look on his face as he continued to sing.

You were disappointed when you could no longer hear him, so you quickly solved the riddle to get into your Common Room. By the time you had finally settled into your bed, changing from your robe into something far more comfortable, you realized something. If it was possible for you to fall deeper into your feelings for Seo Changbin, you were Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

“Fuck.” You said to yourself, hands going to rub at your eyes in an attempt to scrub all the thoughts from your brain. That, unfortunately, did not work, and you continued to think about Changbin’s beautiful singing and bright smile and everything else about him until you eventually fell asleep.

vi.

After days of the same routine, going to the Herbology room for the day to learn about the next batch of plants and then to the Astronomy Tower to try and teach Changbin about another cluster of stars, you were quite literally burnt out.

Yeah, it was endearing to see how passionate Changbin got about the plants, and helping him tend to them really boosted your knowledge, but it got to the point where you felt as though your brain was going to burst from how full it felt. You were also sure Changbin felt the same way because the last night you went to the tower he had fallen asleep, cheek squished on your shoulder and soft breaths escaping into fog around you.

“I’m so done with studying.” Changbin groaned as he hung his head over his plate of food. It was almost empty and you laughed at him almost dipping his nose in his syrupy pancakes.

“We can do something else if you want.” You suggested, finishing up your breakfast and sending your plate away.

Changbin lifted his head up, mouth tilted and nose scrunched in thought. You waited for a few moments, observing the way his teeth teased his bottom lip and his eyes flickering between the lights hanging above.

All of a sudden it was like a lightbulb had been lit up above his head, his whole body stiffening up and his eyes quickly snapping to meet yours. “I know what we should do!” You shushed him when his voice came out just tad bit louder than you would have liked, even though there was no one else in the room to be annoyed.

“Please tell me it’s not a surprise.” Not that you would have hated if it was a surprise as that meant you would have gotten to hold his hand again which you definitely weren’t opposed to, but you weren’t too keen on not knowing where you were going.

“Well it would be pretty hard to hide this surprise so I’ll say no.” He chuckled, finishing his food at a very alarming rate. “Come on, let’s go!” The excitement in his voice only served to make your heart pump faster as well, a big smile curling past the edge of your scarf.

You followed him as he stood up, eyebrows raising as he stuck out his hand again. If this wasn’t a surprise, why did he want to hold your hand? You thought as you looked at him.

And he seemed to read your mind, because a pink hue spread across his face, the hand that wasn’t held out to you coming up to the back of his neck. “Oh, just so I don’t lose you.” Changbin smiled but it was more of a nervous one than the excited smile he had shown only moments before. “You know, the castle is really big. One wrong turn and we’re miles away from each other!”

His logic was sound, and you definitely weren’t opposed to holding his hand again so you made no protest, reaching forward and feeling warmth envelop you as your fingers intertwined again. While you weren’t sure exactly what the warm feeling was, you knew that it felt nice and it spread through your whole body. It wasn’t a hot warmth, but a comforting one, and you wanted to feel it all the time.

But if it only happened when you were near Changbin then, fuck. Perhaps you liked Changbin more than thought, or wanted to think, but you knew that at the end of the break you would go back to being strangers and you didn’t want to face that heartbreak.

“Where are we going?” You asked, noticing that instead of turning right or left at the Great Hall doors, Changbin started walking forward, toward the front of the castle.

Changbin didn’t answer you until you were skirting the edge of the forest, the cold breeze nipping at your nose and cheeks. “It’s boring in the castle so I figured we could go to Hogsmeade.” When he turned back to you his nose was red, cheeks still pink and eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Is that allowed?” Your hand gripped Changbin’s tightly, the freezing temperatures making you cling to any warmth you could get and obviously it was all coming from him.

“There are no professors here to get us in trouble, and the people at Hogsmeade aren’t going to give a shit about our robes or anything.” Changbin shrugged, and you noticed you weren’t headed in the normal direction of village, but through a small path in the middle of the woods.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a Hufflepuff? You know, always following rules.” Your questions kept coming, and you looked sideways. Changbin’s nose was red, his cheeks almost matching. His scarf nearly covered his mouth, but you could still see the fog from his breath escaping through the fibers. As the snow fell around you, you noticed small snowflakes sticking to Changbin’s eyelashes.

Before you could catch yourself staring, he turned to you, the snowflakes on his eyelashes slowly melting every time he blinked. “Even a Hufflepuff has to have some fun.” He winked at you, the tip of his lips curling above the scarf in a sly smile.

The walk to Hogsmeade was much quicker than the normal way, and you wondered how many people knew of the shortcut. By the time Changbin had turned back to look down the path, a large brick wall was coming into view. Paired with the mix of talking, laughing and music growing louder as you approached, you were surprised at how quick you had made it there.

“Wow, that was quick.” You noted, looking up and down the wall and seeing you were right outside the village. There was no door, however, just the dark bricks that were jutting out in a distinct pattern.

Instead of responding, Changbin released your hand and you hoped he didn’t spot the way your bottom lip mimicked the bricks, jutting out slightly. He took out his wand, tapping a seemingly random array of bricks and you watched in awe as a small portion of the wall began swinging open.

Behind the door you could see a steady stream of people walking up and down the streets and you realized you were right in the middle of Hogsmeade, without having to go through the front gates and deal with security. Changbin motioned for you to follow him, and without any thought behind your decision, you reached out and grabbed his hand. His eyes were cast downward and cheeks significantly redder than previously.

“So I don’t lose you.” You mumbled out, feeling your face heat up and lip being teased by your teeth. The boy connected to you nodded, his fingers gripping yours tightly, but not tight enough that it got uncomfortable. If anything, you noticed the familiar warmth spread through you but this time it started at your hand in his.

“Come on, let’s go.” Changbin quickly started walking, and you looked behind to see the secret door slowly closing, the lines where it was opened now smooth again. You followed quietly behind, the people walking around you paying no attention to two students coming out of a dark alley together. It was understandable, with the holidays closely approaching, people would surely be more occupied with finding presents than busting students.

“Where do you wanna go first?” Changbin turned around to ask you, turning into a space away from the constant wave of people walking, not wanting to get swept away in the crowd. The constant talking and music around you made it hard for you to hear him, and you leaned closer, a sound of confusion coming from your throat. Changbin leaned forward, and you felt his nose almost touch the shell of your ear. “I said, where do you wanna go first?”

You looked around, taking in the shops around you and deciding to start there and just keep walking. Immediately to your right was the bookshop, Tomes and Scrolls, and you thought about seeing if there were any new astronomy books you could read.

You turned to Changbin, a small gasp escaping you when you realized just how close you were. The tip of your nose just brushed his before he pulled away slightly, the tips of his ears burning red.

“Uh,” You stuttered, eyes trailing down to his lips and the way his teeth teased the bottom one. “Can we go to Tomes and Scrolls? I want to see if there are any new astronomy books.” When you looked back up at his eyes, you were surprised to see him staring at your lips.

“Sure.” Changbin looked away, towards the bookstore only a few steps away. He seemed to be thinking to himself before he nodded. “Yea, let’s go.” He tugged your hand, weaving through the current of people, but not without catching a few dirty gazes for occasionally bumping into someone.

As soon as you entered the building you were hit by the smell of old parchment. It was a very familiar smell, having been there more times than you could count when you would walk through Hogsmeade during weekends. You noticed there weren’t many people in the large shop, and knowing exactly where you needed to go, you started walking there.

Once you reached the row of books you had been looking for, the science section, you turned towards the one still connected by your hands. Changbin was looking around, the old antiques lining windowsills and shelves intriguing him.

“If you want, you can go look at whatever you want.” You let go of his hand, loosening your scarf as you had just walked into a room with heating. “You don’t have to stay by my side if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t mind.” Changbin countered but made no move to grab for your hand again. “I don’t have any books I want to look for anyway.” He smiled, gesturing towards the shelf of books. “Go ahead, nerd.”

You lightly smacked his arm, sticking your tongue out at him and beginning to walk down the aisle, but not before throwing a, “You’re the nerd here, plant boy.”

Soft footsteps followed behind you, and you began to forget about your surroundings as you immersed yourself in the books. Most of them you had read before, some of them being presents from friends or your parents and others being given to you by Professor Sinistra had gifted you for being the top of the class.

After you had picked out a few books you were interested in, you turned to Changbin, finding him looking very confused at a book of the history of the planets. You chuckled at him, walking the few steps until you found yourself next to him.

“Having fun?” You asked, laughing when said boy looked up at you with an incredibly clueless face.

“This all feels like another language.” Changbin snapped the book shut, putting it where he found it and fully facing you. “Are you done?” The sentence would sound impatient if it weren’t for the smile on his face. When you nodded, Changbin motioned for you to go checkout, and you walked in silence with him behind you.

As you put your books down on the counter, you smiled towards George, the store owner. “Hi Mister George!” Everyone always called him by his first name and he always had a bright smile on his face despite the slight shake in his hand and the need for a cane to walk.

“Hello Y/N, it’s been a while! Found some books you haven't read yet?” His smile made him look so much younger. George started ringing up your two books, looking between you and Changbin yet he didn’t say anything.

“Yea, studying for OWLs set me back a little bit but I’m sure I’ll catch up with your supply soon.” You chuckled, trying to think back to the last time you had came by this store and not remembering.

“I’m sure you’ll do amazing, sweetie.” George finished ringing up your books, sliding them back to you.

After you paid you reached forward to grab the books, only to be cut off by Changbin getting there first. When you turned to him, he simply shrugged saying, “I’ll carry them for you.”

You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest and sighing. “I can do it.”

“I know, I want to carry them for you.” He countered, bringing them closer to his body.

A chuckle came from next to you, and you both looked towards the noise, finding George looking at you two with another large smile. “You two are cute together. Remind me of my wife and I, both stubborn as hell but still in love.”

You wanted to say something but your face was aflame, ears burning and head tilted toward the ground. Instead of responding, you changed the subject, “I’ll see you later, Mister George, happy holidays.” You didn’t look at Changbin as you walked away, only knowing he was following behind you when you heard his footsteps and then eventually felt his hand envelop yours.

Neither of you said anything about what George said, but with one look at Changbin you were sure your ears probably matched his own, bright red. You would have liked to say something about what happened, apologize for not correcting him, apologizing for not confirming what he said, but to be honest you weren’t too sure of your feelings.

“Do you mind if we go to Dervish and Banges, the magic store?” Changbin asked, nodding towards the building only a few shops down, his hands preoccupied. “I want to get a few gifts.”

“Of course, let’s go.” You agreed, quickly making your way down the road and running into the shop.

There were more people than the bookstore, loud chatter echoing through the whole shop and you felt Changbin loosen his grip on your hand. You let go immediately, looking over at him and seeing him searching for something.

“Should we split up?” You knew you could find a few gifts for your friends, and you wanted to give Changbin some privacy. “You’re probably sick of always being stuck with me.”

Changbin chuckled, shaking his head. “Not yet.” He paused for a second. “I’m just kidding, by the way. I don’t mind being with you. I mean, stuck with you.” He corrected himself, adjusting the books that had settled on his hip. “But yea, let’s split up and find our gifts. Then we can head back to the castle.”

“Sure, sounds good.” You held your hands out. “Let me carry the books,” when Changbin didn’t hand them over you continued, “at least until we are done in here.”

“Okay.” Changbin drew out the last syllable, slowly giving them back to you. “But only until we are headed back to the castle, and then I’ll carry them. Let’s meet back at the front of the store in an hour.”

You nodded, turning on your heels and heading straight for the sweets section. If there was one thing you knew about Luna it was that she loved sweets. Looking through the different assortment of delicious looking things you settled on chocolate frogs, recalling once she had tried to keep one of the frogs in their dorm room and for the next month it smelled like stale milk. For a moment you debated getting her the chocolate frogs, but figured that she had learned her lesson the first time.

For a while you were strolling up the aisles, looking at different gadgets and things. For Seungmin you had gotten a journal that had a whiteboard on the front, allowing him to doodle anything he wanted on it, it also came with a paper with a spell on it to animate the drawing.

You had also gotten something for Changbin, and you hoped it wouldn't be weird getting a present for someone you had only known for two weeks. It was a small snow globe, but instead of it being full of water or small flecks of artificial snow, it was an ecosystem full of plants. They were all alive, still growing from sprouts in the bottom of the globe. You thought that he could have his own greenhouse in his dorm room for when he couldn’t walk down to the large Herbology room.

But, Han Jisung was an enigma. He was arguably your best friend at Hogwarts, ever since you walked into the Ravenclaw Common Room and saw a very hyper Jisung playing tag with some of the other students. He had ran into you, helping you up and introducing himself. Now five years later you told him all your secrets and he told you all of his and you wanted to get him something really special for when he came back from break.

Finally you had settled on the quills, knowing how much he wrote, especially music, on anything he could. Sometimes you would go back to bed with ink marks on your arms from where Jisung just started drawing musical notes.

There was a huge assortment of quills, and you were quite taken aback by it. Anything from quills that told jokes to quills that wrote in invisible ink that were only visible with a spell, they all were laid out in front of you and you were extremely indecisive.

That was, until you saw it. It was a medium sized quill with a very dark feather. At first glance it looked like any normal, non magic quill, but once you picked it up you read the tag.

“Turn any song into actual music with the flick of your wrist! Just draw a music note and listen as the quill plays it for you!”

You smiled, clutching onto it as if it was the last one. It was perfect, you thought as you made your way up to the front, handing over the things you got to the cashier. Everything you had gotten seemed to perfectly encapsulate the ones you got them for, and you were excited to be able to hand them over and see their reactions.

However there was still a nagging feeling at the back of your mind that Changbin would find it weird that you got him a present. Maybe I shouldn’t give it to him. You thought as you retrieved the bag of items from the cashier, walking toward the front with the bag in one hand and your books in the other.

At the front of the store you already spotted Changbin, a small bag in his hand and the other shoved into the pocket of his robe. When he spotted you he smiled before reaching out. Rolling your eyes, you handed over your books, watching as he maneuvered them to one arm, that same hand holding onto his bag.

“Ready to go?” Changbin asked, his scarf already tucked into his robe and nearly covering his mouth.

You nodded, doing the same to your scarf (which was still Changbin’s, but at this point you really didn’t want to give it back). “Yep! I can’t wait to get back for dinner and then sleep.” If you knew anything, it was that you had no expectations of going back to the castle and studying. One day breaks can be beneficial. Besides, you already felt as if there was nothing else new to learn, and you still had a month to review.

“I never thought I would hear a Ravenclaw complain about studying.” A soft chuckle escaped into the air as Changbin once again grabbed your hand with his free one. It went without saying anything and you accepted his fingers gripping onto yours as you walked side by side.

“Just because we like learning doesn’t mean we like studying.” You weren’t wrong, what with the amount of groans and complaints you heard in the Common Room when studying for OWLs started you were sure that if anything, most Ravenclaws despised studying.

There was a comfortable silence that washed over you as you walked, your connected hands swinging slightly as you made your way to the secret door back to the castle. Changbin mumbled something under his breath, his hand disconnecting briefly from ours, wand tapping seemingly the same pattern as when you had entered, and you set off on the short walk back to the castle, his hand subconsciously finding his way back to yours.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked from beside you, eyes still focused on the white covered path. It was like a winter wonderland, but you also knew the monsters that could be hiding in any nook or behind any tree so you wanted to get back as quick as possible.

“Why do you always ask that?” It was definitely what was on your mind, and you had hoped you didn’t come across as rude. “I didn’t mean it like that, I am just curious.”

“No, it’s okay.” Changbin started swinging your hands, the cold breeze it created making you shiver slightly. “I guess it’s just an easy way to start a conversation, and it lets others talk about what they want to talk about instead of just talking about something random.”

“I never thought about it that way.” You continued walking, your hand stopped swinging in favor of Changbin’s thumb softly rubbing the top of your hand. You assumed it was on accident, a subconscious thing that he does, but he had never done it before. Not that you minded in the slightest, which was why you didn’t say anything, letting him continue on, a shy smile slipping onto your face.

As soon as you made it to the castle you both raced into the Great Hall, the smell of dinner wafting through the walls and making your stomach growl. There was only a week and a half until break was over and five days until Christmas, so each meal leading up to the holiday seemed even more delicious than the last.

You ate quickly, the hunger in your stomach almost unbearable now that you sat down and relaxed. Besides the loud noises of you eating, there was silence, not even the fairy at the top of the tree singing. Once you were done you pushed your plate away, watching Changbin do the same.

“I’m officially done with today.” You leaned back in your chain, your scarf hanging behind the back. “I mean, I had a great time but I’m so tired.” Sleep crawled at your eyelids and you fought not to succumb to it, especially not sitting up in a chair where there was a high possibility your body hits the floor.

“We should head to bed, we exerted a lot of energy.” Changbin mumbled, his eyes also almost closing, his bottom lip poked out in a pout and you had to convince yourself to not kiss him in your sleepy haze.

You made a noise of agreement, too tired to even form words. Your plates still sat there and with a groan you sent them away. Each second you were awake was another second that you felt sleep pulling you under.

“Come on, we should get to bed before we both fall asleep at the table.” Changbin stood up and you saw he was much more coherent than you were. Albeit, he was still swaying on his feet, eyes drooping every couple of seconds.

Standing up, you shook your head, forcing yourself to wake up just enough to get to your bed. You grabbed your bag and books and fixed the scarf back onto your neck. With a tired smile you reached towards Changbin’s hand, interlocking fingers like you had been doing over and over the past two weeks.

Your feet dragged as you walked and at some point Changbin let go of your hand in favor of wrapping a hand around your waist. Although you were somewhere between sleep and awake, you registered his soft breath on your ear and his voice saying, “You didn’t sleep much last night, did you?”

Thinking back to it, you really hadn’t. You decided to get in some study time by yourself, talking out loud into the room and trying not to think about Changbin’s handsome face. By the time you had deemed yourself done with studying for the night, it was well past midnight, so with some quick, sleepy calculating you held up four fingers to signal how many hours you figured you got.

Changbin nodded, keeping silent as the walk to your Common Room felt like hours but was only a few minutes. You were coherent enough to eventually pick your feet up fully, but you leaned to the side, resting your head on Changbin’s shoulder. If he didn’t like it, you could just blame it on the fatigue when you saw him in the morning. He didn’t seem to mind though, just walking along as his fingers pressed even more on your waist to keep you upright.

The riddle at the doorknob blinked, indicating you hadn’t solved it yet. Changbin looked over at you and you shook your head, rubbing off sleep just enough to be able to solve the riddle with ease. (They tended to reuse riddles a lot and within the five years of you being there you had seen a few many times before.)

“Get some sleep, Y/N.” Changbin whispered in your ear, thumb softly stroking your waist and you felt a shiver race through you. Whether that was because of the cold or because of Changbin’s extremely close proximity, you weren’t sure. Although sleep was relentlessly trying to pull you under, you were coherent enough to register just how much you liked him saying your name.

You nodded, not wanting to take your head off his shoulder and definitely not wanting to leave his very warm presence. “Okay.” You finally mumbled after a few seconds. “You too, get some sleep Changbin.”

“I will. I promise.” Changbin laughed, and guided you towards the door.

As you stepped through the threshold the door closed behind you, and you stumbled towards your bedroom, a smile on your face when you remembered everything that happened. The bag of your gifts hung from your hand and you set it on Luna’s bed, it’s not like she was using it at that moment anyways.

When you collapsed in bed, pulling the blanket up to your chin and eyes closing almost instantly, you thought back to how secure you felt with Changbin’s arm around you and how warm you felt when he was around. Sure, you had had crushes before, and that atrocious date at the Yule Ball thanks to Jisung, but what you felt was something unknown and as a Ravenclaw you definitely did not appreciate not knowing what you were feeling.

“Damn you, Seo Changbin.” Your voice trailed off, sleep finally taking over.

vii.

The next four days were filled with relentless studying. You would stay in the library way past curfew with Changbin, scouring the aisles for any types of books that could help you that you hadn’t yet read. At one point you even fell asleep sitting in one of the rows of books, one minute you were searching for a book of potions and the next you were being shaken awake by Changbin.

But the morning of Christmas you woke up early, finding Changbin’s present still sitting on Luna’s bed. You decided to give it to him when you both went to tend to the plants, finding it perfect that his present fit the scenario.

You put his present in a small box, trying slowly to wrap it and make it look somewhat presentable. Unfortunately there wasn’t a spell for it to wrap itself, so you begrudgingly fought with your own fingers in an attempt to cover every inch of the box.

You weren’t sure exactly how long it took you to finally be satisfied with the present, but you did know that the sun was shining in your window, as opposed to the dark pre-sunrise glow from when you started.

“It’s not that bad.” You said to yourself, holding out the present, observing every angle and deciding that although it did look pieced together, because it was pieced together with a lot of patches of wrapping paper, that it looked good enough to give to Changbin.

Walking down to the Great Hall, the paintings around you sang Christmas carols and you laughed when you realized that none of them matched each other, the lyrics and notes mixing together into a very noisy and unpleasant sound.

“Can you guys at least sing the same song?” You told them as you walked past, chuckling when that only caused them to have an argument over which Christmas song was superior.

When you finally made it to the Great Hall you were stopped in your tracks, the giant Christmas tree in the middle of the room was lit up even more than it was before. Vibrant blues, greens and purples sparkled on every inch of the tree, and when you looked closer you noticed that the lights were actually moving.

“Merry Christmas!” One of the lights screamed, the high pitched voice causing you to cringe. The lights were actually fairies, flying from branch to branch. Their wings emulated multiple colors, changing every couple of seconds.

Your eyes then travelled to another sparkling object, but as you approached your regular table you laughed, sitting down across from a very glittery Changbin.

“What happened?” You asked, leaning forward and picking a piece of tinsel out of his hair. His regularly black hair with red streaks instead looked silver under the light, an immense amount of glitter and tinsel stuck in it.

“I tried to ask the fairies to wrap my presents and they bombarded me with this.” Changbin gestured to his hair, shaking his head and laughing when glitter spewed in every direction. “At least they agreed to wrap them. I’m not that coordinated to do it myself.”

“I never thought of that. I would let them drown me in glitter if I didn’t have to wrap mine myself.” You thought back to your horrifically wrapped presents, but decided your friends would rather it be pieced together by you than perfectly wrapped by someone else.

Before you could say anything else two full plates of food flew and quite literally landed on the table. There was almost every type of breakfast you could think of sitting right in front of you and you looked up at Changbin, eyes wider than the plates. Changbin, however, was just smiling excitedly, his eyes scrunched up and cheeks shining with the remnants of glitter that had floated from his hair.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, eyes still trying to take in all the food in front of you.

“Yeah. They always serve this on Christmas. I swear I gain 5 pounds each year because I can’t stop eating.” Changbin laughed, licking his lips in anticipation. He looked like he would dive in immediately but instead he looked up at you, a lopsided grin on his face. “By the way, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Changbin.” You smiled back before staring down at your plate and debating where to start.

A long groan escaped your lips when you finished eating, the last of the food having been cleared from the plate. It was quite possibly the tastiest meal you had ever had, and you considered staying there for break every year just so you could eat it on Christmas Day. Looking over at Changbin you saw the same expression you harbored, a very exhausted and overwhelmed smile on both of your faces.

“Oh. My. God.” You shook your head, “I don’t think I can eat anything else ever again.”

“We still have dinner tonight.” Changbin reminded you, chuckling when you groaned even louder.

You sat in silence while you waited for the immensely full feeling to pass enough for you to be able to get up. The plates still sat on the table in front of you and neither of you had the energy to send it away this time.

Before you could gather the energy to lift your wand, a flash of glitter appearing in front of you. “Merry Christmas!” The fairy squeaked. “I’ll take care of your plates. In the meantime,” another flash and she looked above the table. When you looked up your eyes widened, seeing a small mistletoe floating above you. “Why don’t the lovely couple share a Christmas kiss?”

“Oh.” You stuttered, “we aren’t dating, actually.” Daring not to look at Changbin, you locked eyes with the fairy, watching her face drop into a very dissatisfied frown.

“Too bad, you guys look cute together.” She pouted, glitter cascading slowly down her wings as she looked at Changbin and back at you. Her eyebrows raised, like she knew something and your face heated up. “Okay, I get it.” She winked at you, “Have a fun rest of your Christmas.”

As soon as she had appeared she was gone, the plates and mistletoe following after her. You tried to stall looking back at Changbin, in fear of your face giving your new feelings away, but you figured prolonging anything would only make you look more suspicious.

Changbin’s cheeks were red, eyes downcasted and foot tapping softly on the floor. It wasn’t enough to cause an echo, but enough that the sound travelled the short distance between you. He looked adorable, and if you had enough confidence you would have leant over the table and kissed him right there. But unfortunately you didn’t, so you settled with clearing your throat, that sound echoing through the room.

“So, don’t you need to go tend to the plants?” You had the time table memorized at that point, knowing that after breakfast you would walk with him to the Herbology room, doing the same routine over and over. It would normally have gotten boring, but just being with Changbin made everything interesting.

“Yeah.” Changbin looked up at you for the first time since the fairy came and took your plates. His hair was splayed across his forehead, nearly covering his eyes, and you almost commented on the fact that he should get a haircut soon but you also noticed just how good his longer hair looked.

“Okay, let’s go.” You tried brushing off the heat sizzling up in you, and the cold air from the cracks in the doors did well at cooling off your burning face. When you stood up you extended your hand, waiting just an extra beat longer than normal for Changbin to slip his hand in yours.

Rather than awkward, the walk towards the Herbology was filled with tension. Changbin’s hand was sweaty, and neither of you chose to acknowledge it as you weaved through the moving stairs and winding hallways. It wasn’t a long walk to the Herbology room, but when you finally reached the door you disconnected your hands, watching as he unlocked the room.

His shoulders were slumped as he made his way to the water sprayer, filling it up and then checking each plant carefully. You observed him, his present weighing heavily in your pocket. What if he thought it was weird? There were doubts in the back of your head, but you had already gotten it and seeing the way Changbin looked at each plant, like they were his children, with such care and love, you knew he would like it no matter if thought it was weird.

“Hey Changbin?” You called out to him, the present being held by your two hands behind your back.

“Yeah?” He said, turning around after setting down a potted plant. His eyes moved to your arms behind your back, eyebrows raised in confusion and a small hint of alarm. “What’s behind your back?”

Instead of answering his question, you giggled, fingers drumming on the small box holding his present. As soon as you were standing directly in front of him, you took the box out from behind your back. Under the lights you got a better look, your lips quirking up into an apologetic smile.

“I tried to wrap it myself but it didn’t go as well as I planned, I definitely fucked it up just a little bit.” Despite it looking as pieced together as a jigsaw puzzle, you were quite proud of yourself for covering each inch of the box. You watched as Changbin took the box out of your hand gently, looking at each and every angle.

“It doesn’t look that bad. It means a lot more that you did it yourself.” Changbin smiled, fingers playing along the edges of the wrapping paper taped on nearly every side. A breathy laugh escaped him as he tried to pull the wrapping paper. “I think you did too good, I can’t get the damn thing off.”

After a few seconds of struggling with the paper he ripped the top off enough to find the box underneath. A surprised look crossed his face as he slowly removed the top. There was a moment of observing what was inside before he took it out, holding it up to the light. His mouth was slightly hanging open, eyes wide and scouring every little plant that greeted him from inside for snowglobe.

“It’s a snowglobe, except it doesn’t have snow, it has plants.” You explained, pointing to the small sprouts in the soil of the snowglobe. “I figured you could have something to look at when you can’t come here.”

Before you could say anything else, a weight was pressed against you, hands immediately coming around you and resting on your back. Changbin was hugging you, and you quickly relaxed into his arms. He was much warmer than you expected, like a portable heater. The hand that wasn’t holding his present pressed flat on your back, slowly rubbing in circles.

“Thank you.” Changbin repeated over and over. His face was squished into your neck and you felt his breath on your collarbone, a shiver running through you even though you were far from cold. Your own arms wrapped around him, palms holding onto his shoulders and you could feel his muscles moving underneath your hand when you ran it up his spine.

You didn’t want to let go, but Changbin pulled away first, holding up his plant globe once again to the light. His eyes shone as he scanned each little plant that had shown itself in the couple of days it had been in your room. It was like he didn’t believe it, and you smiled at how happy he looked.

“So you like it?” Your voice was hopeful, and Changbin’s eyes immediately snapped to yours.

“Of course! I love it.” His smile was everything you could have ever hoped, all the previous worry and nervousness melting off of you. “Why wouldn’t I like it?”

“Well,” when you thought back to your worries, you realized that this was Changbin you were talking about, the sweetest Hufflepuff you had ever seen, even if he liked to break rules sometimes. Hell, he was softer than Seungmin. “I was scared you would think I was weird or something. I mean, we’ve only known each other for two weeks.” Your face heated up voicing your worries to him, but you knew he wouldn't make fun of you for it.

“You’re not weird at all. We’re friends, right?” You nodded, fighting the frown at the word friends. “Then you shouldn’t feel weird. I love it! I’ve been wanting to get a plant for my room but it’s not allowed, this is the perfect substitute.” Changbin’s smile widened again, eyes going back to scanning each and every inch of the plant globe.

“Good, I’m glad you like it.” The light from outside was slowly dimming, midday already passed and evening creeping up behind it. A bright ray of sun shone directly through the clouds, aiming directly for Changbin’s plant globe. It seemed to feed all the plants in it, and you almost gasped when you saw some of them start to grow taller right before your eyes.

The next hour was spent helping Changbin check on the plants, and within the past week and a half you had learned almost everything you could about all of the ones in the room. How to care for them, how to clean them (at least, the ones you could touch without getting harmed or killed), how to tell if they were in need of more soil or water and how to handle them without setting them off, specifically the mandrakes.

As soon as you were done checking on them all, you looked towards Changbin, who was still admiring his plant globe every minute. The last remaining light from outside illuminated his features, and you were in awe at just how handsome he looked.

“Can we go to the Astronomy Tower?” Suddenly Changbin looked at you, asking the question with a nervous hint to his voice. When you nodded, he smiled, and he slowly set his globe in the box you had put it in originally.

Leading him to the tower, you walked in silence, the paintings around you finally on the same page as they all sang the same Christmas song, albeit in varying volumes and pitches. At least it was the same lyrics, you thought as you walked beside Changbin.

Your feet quickly struck the floor, a sense of excitement washing over you because you knew certain stars would be better visible tonight and you couldn’t want to tell Changbin about them. Whenever you would talk about the stars to him, you found his eyes always following your finger as you pointed in the sky. Sometimes he would get it and sometimes he wouldn’t, but just seeing the stars reflected back into his eyes made your feelings for him just dig itself a little bit deeper.

After the tantalus walk up the stairs, you settled for a different spot than before to look at the stars, picking one just a little bit closer to the stairs. Sitting down, you let go of Changbin’s hand, opting instead to start pointing up at all the stars you recognized that you hadn’t yet talked about with him.

However before you could go very far into your explanation about Pleiades and it’s mythology, you noticed Changbin looking over to the side. “Are you okay?” You asked, your hand moving to rest on his shoulder.

Instead of answering you, Changbin turned back around, his hands clasped around something and before you could ask him anything he interrupted. “Close your eyes.” When your face morphed into one of slight fear and worry, he elaborated. “Just trust me, I have a surprise for you.”

You had trusted him that whole time, so you listened, closing your eyes and relying on your other senses to try and tell what was going on around you. To your right, where Changbin was, you heard a slight rustling and then the sound of fabric on wood. You felt a familiar warmth envelop you and then the feeling of two hands in front of your face.

Trusting him, you didn’t freak out, letting it all happen and suddenly you felt something very cold hit your chest right between your collarbones. Curiosity filled your senses but you waited for Changbin to give you a noise of confirmation to open your eyes. When a small “okay” came from your right you squinted at him, nose scrunched and you were nervous to look down.

You couldn’t see much of it, but what you did was beautiful. It was a small charm, almost like Saturn itself. There was one dark orb in the middle surrounded by two rings and the one on the inside spun slightly when you moved. It was breathtaking, and you felt your jaw quite literally drop, eyes widening and face burning.

“Wow.” Was all you could say as you watched Changbin grow more and more visibly nervous. “I love it.” You said, slipping your hand underneath it and admiring the way the night sky seemed to make it shine even brighter.

“That’s not all it does.” Changbin’s hand ruffled his hair, eyes still not leaving the necklace resting almost perfectly directly underneath your collarbones. “Stand up.” His hand was extended towards you and you took it, letting him pull you up before taking out his wand.

One of his hands stayed clasped in yours, the other holding his wand and you stayed staring into his eyes before he was the first one to break it. The tip of his wand tapped your necklace, “astra lumora” he whispered softly and you gasped when immediately you were surrounded by stars.

Above, below, all around you were bright sparks of stars, and you found yourself looking everywhere you could to find you were quite literally standing among the stars. It was almost as if you were floating in space with nothing around you but the gas balls.

“This,” your eyes continued to wander before finally settling on Changbin’s bright ones. “Is beautiful. I love it so much.” You couldn’t tear your eyes away from Changbin’s. Despite being in what felt like a dream, sitting among the stars, you were grounded by his eyes on yours.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A smile flickered on Changbin’s face, and your gaze swapped from his eyes to his lips. There wasn’t really anything else you were thinking about except kissing him, and you decided, fuck it, what better time to confess your rapidly escalating feelings for the Hufflepuff in front of you than while you were surrounded by stars?

“I’m thinking about how much I really want to kiss you.” You were so close that you only needed to whisper it, watching your cold breath escaping as a small cloud in the air. It was going to be heartbreaking if he didn’t feel the same, but it was okay, because at the end of the break you would go back to being just a Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, not interacting or talking.

“Ask me the same thing.” Changbin’s thumb rubbed your hand softly, eyes locked on your lips.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Your voice was barely audible, the hand that wasn’t clasped in his moving up his arm to eventually rest on the back of his neck. The hairs there were sticking up and whether that was because of the cold or your proximity, you weren’t sure.

Changbin took another step closer to you, your nose brushing his. His wand was gone, tucked away into his robe as his hand wrapped around you, resting on the small of your back. “I’ve been thinking the same thing for a while.”

Instead of saying anything else, you lean forward, eyes closing. The feeling of Changbin’s lips on yours could only be described as soft. He wasn’t too hard, perhaps afraid you would break into a thousand specs, blending in with the stars surrounding you. While you did feel like you could do that, Changbin’s hand on your back and the prickly feeling of the hair on the back of his neck grounded you into reality.

Yeah, you were kissing Seo Changbin, the same guy that you didn’t want to associate with at all after learning he would also be staying behind for break. The same guy that got too excited talking about plants and had always kept his hand clasped in yours. The same guy that gave you his scarf when you forgot yours and never once asked for it back.

You definitely had no intention of giving it back now.

Changbin tilted his head, his hand leaving yours and joining his other one on your back. Your free hand also coming up to settle on his neck, thumb tracing a vein that told you his heartbeat was pounding.

It was effortless, kissing Changbin, and you found yourself thinking that it could definitely become a habit. He was like a drug, pulling you into a sense of euphoria and relaxation that had your knees buckling. All of your senses molded into one and you weren’t sure where you started and Changbin ended, or whether you two had just slowly combined to create one bright star to join the infinite others out there.

All you knew was that Seo Changbin was there, he was kissing you, and you could spend the rest of your life stuck in his embrace and you would be the happiest person in the universe.

When you finally pulled back from the kiss, you were met with Changbin’s sparkling eyes, smile stretching from ear to ear. His cheeks were slowly gaining color, his eyes never leaving yours and you were entranced. Leaning forward you left another soft peck on his lips, a small giggle directed at the ground when you rested your forehead on his shoulder.

“Wow.” You said for the second time.

“I know.” Changbin’s thumbs pressed a little harder into your back, palms smoothing out over your muscles and pulling you closer to him if that was even possible at that point. “So,” He started, hands now moved to your waist and the warmth you had always felt when you were around him surrounded and filled every inch of you. “Where do we go from here?”

Where do you go from there? Surely you wanted to be with him, even if you had sworn off dating in favor of studying. You could have both, right? You would force yourself to have both if it meant having Changbin with you.

“Well,” Your hands moved to Changbin’s hair, softly pulling and stroking any inch of skin you could reach. “I like you, a lot.”

“Duh.” Changbin countered, laughing when you smacked his shoulder lightly. “Okay, okay. I like you a lot too.” Although his laugh had dissipated, the gentle smile still remained.

“Do you think we could make this, like, official?” Your voice stuttered a bit, and you weren’t sure how to ask, you had only been asked out once and that was to the Yule Ball.

“You want me to be your boyfriend?” A smirk played on Changbin’s face, his shoulder ready to take another hit but you just nodded, the yellow fabric of his scarf brushing against your hand as you played with a loose string.

“As long as you want to be my boyfriend.”

“Of course I do.” Instead of saying anything else, Changbin sealed his statement with a kiss, his lips cold after being separated from yours for so long.

After you pulled away a long yawn ripped through you, the darkness of the night pulling at your eyelids and wanting you to join so many other people in dream land. It all felt like a dream, though, and you were convinced that when you laid down to go to sleep that you would just wake up.

“We should get some sleep.” Changbin said, pulling out his wand and tapping your necklace twice, watching as the stars all got sucked back into the dark orb. “There’s only a week left until break ends.”

You let a pout fall onto your face, not wanting to go back to classes and the bombardment of students. You just wanted to spend all the time you could with Changbin before you were forced to sit at different tables and only see each other at certain times.

“Okay. I guess we should.” You agreed, however, knowing that although you were the Ravenclaw, Changbin sounded much more logical at that moment.

Your head stayed on Changbin’s shoulder as you walked back to your Common Room, your hand still grasped tightly in his. Occasionally you leaned just a little bit closer, pecking the corner of his mouth or his cheek or his neck, whatever you could reach. When you did that, Changbin would turn his head towards you, letting you land a kiss on where you wanted to land one the most, his lips.

“Oh look at them!” One of the pictures whispered as you walked by, and you watched as they all followed your movements, soft whispers being exchanged. You ignored them, just wanting to stay with your hand in Changbin’s and his warmth surrounding you.

As soon as you arrived at your Common Room you pulled apart, though Changbin’s hands just wandered to your waist as you solved the riddle, listening to the click of the lock opening for you. When you turned around Changbin’s lips were on yours, a soft hum coming from his throat. You were content with just staying like that, but paintings eventually gossiped, and you definitely didn’t want the professors finding out what you were up to during break.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” The hands on your waist were distracting, but you kept thinking that the faster you went to sleep the quicker you could see him in the morning again.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Changbin confirmed, not making any move to leave. His hands stayed in place, fingers tapping lightly. “Hey, Y/N?” After a few moments of silence he called your name, stepping a little bit closer to you and the warmth started to intensify. When you made a noise in response, you saw his eyes flick to your lips. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Of course, Binnie. You don’t have to ask.” Chucking you walked up in front of him, waiting for him to lean in and give you what you knew you both wanted, but he didn’t. You opened your eyes, shooting him a confused look, eyebrows raised when you saw his mouth gaped open. “Are you okay?”

His cheeks lit up almost red and you found it cute that he was still shy. “You, uh, you called me Binnie.” A small smile appeared on his face, nose scrunched up slightly and before you could ask any other questions, like if it was okay that you called him that, he continued. “I mean, I like it, that nickname. It’s cute.” He elaborated, quickly leaning forward and landing a kiss on your awaiting lips. It was quick, quicker than you had wanted it to be but it was already dark and you knew how bad you got when you didn’t get enough sleep, so you relented.

“Well, you’re cute.” You laughed when Changbin rolled his eyes, turning around and proceeding to start to walk away.

He didn’t get far though before he turned back to you, “Good night, baby.”

Then it was your turn for your face to heat up, a soft, “good night” following him as he walked away. You waited until he was fully gone to shut the door, a small squeal leaving you. Jumping up and down you ran to your room, launching yourself onto the bed and burying yourself beneath the covers.

“Oh my god that actually happened.” You whispered to yourself after getting comfortable in bed. The comforter was enough to keep you warm from the winter outside, but you noticed nothing could compare to the warmth that covered you from head to toe when you were near Changbin.

As sleep took over, a smile fell on your face when you thought about Changbin and his messy hair and soft lips and dorky demeanor and how you couldn’t believe that he actually felt the same.

viii.

The next few days were filled with what you normally did: studying. Unlike the other times, however, you were much more cuddly with Changbin. Laying on one of the couches in the library, you would curl into a ball on his lap, the book open as you lazily read aloud. Changbin’s hand never left your back, fingers massaging your muscles, the occasional kiss being pressed to your forehead or cheek.

It was the last day of break. Tomorrow everyone would file in, the noise overwhelmingly different to the silence as you walked through the halls. It was bittersweet, you wanted your friends to come back and classes to start again, but after having been by Changbin’s side for almost the whole break, you didn’t want to go back.

You met Changbin in the Great Hall, smiling when you saw your chair moved again to be right next to his. The Christmas tree was still up, though you knew it would start to get taken down later that day. The fairies looked down at you two with a glint in their eyes.

“Good morning, Binnie.” Sliding into the chair, you looked over at Changbin. His hair was still messy from sleep, cheeks just the slightest bit pink from where it had been pressed into the pillow. He gave you a sleepy grin, puckering his lips and waiting for you to catch on. You leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. A loud squeal came from the tree, the fairies whispering in an annoyingly shrill almost silent voice.

“Morning, baby.” Changbin responded, fingers playing with the edge of your scarf, noticing that it was still the yellow one that he had given you the first day you met. “Have I told you how much I like seeing you wear this?”

“No, but at least I know now.” Although the scarf covered the chain of your necklace, you could still see the glint of the dark orb resting right underneath the yellow fabric. You could still smell his distinct odor of cinnamon and pine needles, a scent that you had come to associate with the warmth that spread through you, but it was fading. “You’re going to have to take it back soon.” You said as your plate of breakfast waited in front of you.

Changbin was already eating, his cheeks full of pancakes and he turned to you, mouth almost dropped open and food almost spilling out. He took a moment to chew and swallow before frowning. “Why?”

“It’s starting to not smell like you anymore.” You said nonchalantly, picking apart your pancake and beginning to eat. A soft chuckle came from next to you, and before you could turn your head to question why he laughed, his lips connected with your cheek.

“You’re cute, baby.” Was all he said, going back to eating and you eventually followed, a smile and shake of your head preceding it.

After you had finished eating, you found yourself in the same place as the previous few days, strolling back into the library, one of your hands gripped tightly in Changbin’s and the other holding onto a History book that you found stuffed in one of your drawers. How it got there, you would never know, but you knew when you were done skimming it and eventually snapping it shut when you got tired of the boring history terms that it would go right back to where you found it.

You set the book on the table, letting go of Changbin’s hand and walking down the aisles in search of another book, one that had been recommended by the Divination teacher to help with her class. Having been in the library almost every day for the last three weeks, you knew where more things were, but this one you couldn’t get your hands on. Surely it was there, your teacher wouldn’t recommend it if she knew it wasn’t.

Your search was interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around you, warm breath making you shiver. “Hey.” Changbin said simply, pulling you back into him. “It’s cold without you.” You could feel the pout through his voice, and you turned around in his embrace.

“I was just looking for this Divination book, but I can’t find it. I think it disappeared.” You looked up the aisle, trying to remember where it could be but coming up blank.

“The OWL for Divination is easy, all you have to do is look in the bottom of a cup and tell her what you see.” Changbin explained, and he wasn’t wrong, your teacher did say there was no wrong answers, so surely everyone would pass, but you couldn’t help to feel like somehow you would see something wrong or that by some sort of cruel stroke of misfortune she would fail you.

“Besides, you’re too smart to worry about failing, you’ll probably get the top score in everything.” Changbin closed the small distance between you, his lips connecting with your forehead. In turn, you closed your eyes, smiling at the feeling of his thumbs pressing small circles into your back and cool breath fanning over your face. “If anything,” he started as he pulled away, “I need you to tutor me.”

“I guess I can do that.” You wriggled out of Changbin’s grasp, walking back to the couch and grabbing the book you had set there earlier. Changbin closely followed, sitting on the couch and holding out his arms for you to fit into.

You sat with your back resting on the arm of the couch, Changbin’s legs comfortably underneath you and his arms snaked around you. The book sat on your legs, one of his hands coming to play with the pages when he saw fit. Instead of exchanging any other words, you started reading a chapter, trying not to let your face heat up when you looked up to see Changbin’s eyes trained on you.

It wasn’t like he had much else to look at, it was just snow and trees outside and the endless rows of books inside, but it was more of the look he had rather than the fact that he was looking at you. A soft grin stretched his lips, tilting up at one side. His eyes shifted from your eyes to your necklace - that you had yet to take off - and eventually settling on your lips.

“Penny for your thoughts?” You asked quietly, watching as his cheeks began to gain a bit more color to them.

“You’re just really pretty.” He shrugged, eyes falling down to the book in your lap. Instead of trying to read sideways, he resorted to tracing the lines of the map at the top of the page.

“I think you’re pretty too, Binnie.” Your lips found his nose, chuckling when his face turned into a deeper red. “But we really should try and get some studying in, there’s only one more day left of break.”

His face morphed into a deep frown, eyebrows tugging into the center of his face. You knew what he was thinking, and you mirrored the same sentiment. After everyone came back you would be forced to sit at your house tables, looking at each other across the Great Hall and wishing you were able to slide in the seat next to him. Reading his mind, you raised your hand up to his cheek, your thumb tracing his cheekbone. His skin was still warm underneath your fingers.

“I don’t want break to end.” Changbin’s frown turned into a pout, head tilting forward to rest on your shoulder.

“I don’t either but it’s not like we won’t ever see each other again.” Your hand moved from his cheek to his hair, smoothing down strands that had stuck up into the air.

“I know.” He sat back up, the pout still deeply etched onto his face. “I’m gonna miss just us being here, though. We’ve only had a week alone to be cute and coupley.” You laughed at that, and his pout only stuck out more. “It’s not funny.” He dragged out the last syllable.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re just cute.” You countered, looking back down at the book in your lap. “We’ll still be able to be ‘cute’ and ‘coupley’, don’t worry. I think we should get back to studying though, how about we have a quiz?” You suggested, flicking through the book until you got to a section you had read to him before.

So you read a section out loud again, watching out of the corner of your eye as Changbin looked up at the air, mouthing what you could only assume was dates and names to try and remember them. As soon as you finished the passage you turned your attention to Changbin, finding him still peering into the ceiling.

“What happened to the classes at Hogwarts in 1965?” You asked, knowing that you just went through it.

Changbin thought for a moment, his fingers drumming on your waist in an attempt to come up with an answer. “Oh!” His eyes lit up, a smile on his face as he turned to you. “The roof fell through from the heavy snowfall and so classes were canceled for a while to fix it.”

You nodded, leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to his lips, his reward for getting the question right. You continued on with your questioning, rewarding him with a kiss every time he got one right.

Eventually he began to drift off, his head bobbing up and down as he tried to think of an answer but instead was met with a soft tap to the forehead and you telling him to “wake up”. It wasn’t until the fourth time of falling asleep and being woken up by you that he gave up.

“Fuck it.” He said, tapping your back in a signal for you to get off his lap for just a moment. Changbin turned so his head was resting against the arm of the couch, grabbing a pillow and pulling it so it cushioned his head. Falling back, he nestled into the couch with a sigh. Before his eyes closed fully, however, his arms raised, hands making a grabby motion and you knew you weren’t going to convince him to study anymore so you relented.

Setting the book on the table, you walked forward and squeaked when Changbin’s hands immediately grabbed your waist, pulling you down quickly. A grunt was released when your head hit his chest, the sound of his heartbeat the only thing you could hear besides your breath. He was comfortable, just the right amount of hard muscle and plush skin and you melted into his embrace.

“Let’s just take a nap.” Changbin suggested from above you, his chin resting on the top of your head, although it was more of a statement than a suggestion. His voice vibrated through his body and you could feel instead of hear his voice.

You didn’t reply, instead opting for snuggling closer into him, the edges of your robe draping over you and creating a makeshift blanket. Though you didn’t need much else to warm you, as Changbin’s body heat was enough to make you feel warmth from your head to feet. His hands settled on your back, thumbs massaging your tense muscles gently. The pressure seemed to let off eventually, and you looked up to see he was fast asleep, mouth slightly open and eyes closed. You weren’t sure how long you had laid there, but it wasn’t long until you were following Changbin into dreamland.

“Baby.” You were awoken by Changbin’s voice in your ear, his hands going back to their normal place of tracing shapes on your back. His heartbeat beneath your ear was soniferous, causing your eyes to stay closed and for you to almost fall back into slumber. That was, until he said your name a little louder, his hands shaking your body that was lying fully on top of his. “Y/N, it’s time to get up, baby.”

“Don’t wanna.” Your voice was distorted due to your cheek being pressed into the junction between his neck and shoulder. During your sleep you nuzzled even closer to Changbin, your nose pressed against his neck and lips close to his collarbone. You pressed a quick kiss there, a lazy smile floating up when the boy below you squirmed. “You’re comfy.” Going back to your previous position, you tried to ignore all other tries to get you to wake up, only wanting to be cuddled closer and to fall back asleep.

“It’s nighttime and although there isn’t anybody here, I’m sure some of the ghosts will do patrols.” Changbin spoke softly, “And I don’t want us to get in trouble the first day after break.”

Although you really couldn’t have cared less about the ghosts, they rarely walked through the library anyways, some citing memories from their deaths in the history books and others just not bothering because who would be in the library this late, you lifted your head. You were met with pink cheeks, hooded eyelids and a seemingly drunken smile.

“Did you just wake up too?” Your voice came out more stable that time, yet you still felt the small hands of the sandman trying to tempt you again. When Changbin nodded you stayed silent, just admiring the boy laid out in front of you. One of your hands rested on his chest to keep you upright and you pushed yourself forward to kiss both of his cheeks.

“We should head back to our dorms, I don’t wanna get caught, especially not by the Fat Friar or the Grey Lady.” Changbin moved his hands from your back to your waist, helping you in sitting up on the couch. He, in turn, tucked his legs under you and stood up. ��I’ll help you back if you want?”

Sleep sounded nice, but sleeping while also cuddled into Changbin sounded even better. So you shook your head, hand sliding down Changbin’s arm to find his hand, not needing vision to fit your fingers together perfectly. “No,” You stood up, squeezing his hand slightly. “I want to stay with you.”

Changbin’s cheeks bloomed red again, a shy smile and quick ruffle of his hair coming and going before he looked back up to you. “Okay, okay. Do you want to sleep in my Common Room or yours?” The fact that he was willing to risk getting in trouble for you had your heart clenching.

“I’ve always wanted to see what the Hufflepuff Common Room looked like.” You said with a smile, almost jumping for joy when he began walking in the direction of his Common Room.

You swung your connected hands between you, an excited skip in your step knowing that you wouldn’t have to cocoon yourself in your blanket to keep warm. The thought came though, that you wouldn’t be able to do that when break ended, and a frown etched itself into your face. The frown stayed there until you got to the door to the Common Room, when your lips straightened into a line.

Changbin looked over at you, hand immediately finding some switch behind a barrel that sat next to the door. You knew there was some sort of code or button or something to get into the room, Seungmin had told you a story of his first time trying to find it, but you didn’t know it was there. A smile was quickly flashed to him as you tried to not let him know what you were thinking.

As soon as the door opened, however, you forgot everything you had been thinking about, a loud gasp leaving your lips.

You hadn’t ever seen the Hufflepuff Common Room, just getting a picture in your head from what Seungmin had described it as, but wow, did it look way better than anything Seungmin could have said.

It had a low ceiling made of what looked like oak wood, with a simple chandelier hanging directly in the middle. The light from said chandelier reached every nook and cranny in the room, making everything bright and giving you a rush of energy. You understood why Hufflepuffs always seemed to be smiling. Scattered throughout the room were comfy looking chairs and couches, though there was a small circle of furniture around the fireplace, which was always slowly burning.

The whole room was shrouded in a light yellow color, from the rounded walls to the fabric of the furniture. A soft orange spilled from the fireplace area, and you were immediately drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.

“Woah.” You were still observing everything around you as Changbin led you to one of the couches by the fire. Small potted plants sat on tables along with small stacks of books. It was unusual that they had plants in the Common Room but weren’t allowed any in their private rooms, and you were glad you got Changbin the plant globe so he could have them by his bedside.

“It’s not much, but it’s comfy.” Changbin shrugged, sitting down in the middle of the muted yellow couch, pulling you down so you sat on his lap.

“What do you mean?” You continued looking around, seeing the thick layer of snow outside the windows. “It’s so relaxing to sit in here, I could fall asleep right away.”

“Well let’s do that then.” The hand that was clasped in yours let go, moving you so you laid in the same position as in the library. The couch you were laying on was much larger than the previous one, with much softer looking pillows. Not that you needed a pillow, you had Changbin who was like your own personal firm but soft pillow.

After a little bit of moving you settled with your nose pressed back into the column of Changbin’s neck, one of your hands sitting on his chest. As you laid there, you traced small shapes into his skin, chuckling when he started to shake. “I’m ticklish.” He had stated as an excuse, but you continued the small touches, only scaling back slightly because the feeling of his muscles under his shirt was comforting, more so than the color of the room or the lighting hitting the walls.

“Goodnight, baby.” was the last thing you heard before you let yourself fall into sleep once again.

viiii.

You woke up to the sounds of furniture being moved. It was extremely loud, echoing through the soon to be full hallways and traveling out into the snow. Instead of jumping up and exploring the noise, you settled in Changbin’s arms, not wanting to get up and face the reality of the day.

His hands were loosely resting on your hips, no longer adding pressure or drawing invisible pictures. You could feel his chest raising and lowering with each deep breath he took. When you lifted your head up you noticed the same pink tint to his cheeks and you kissed each of them, trying hard not to wake him up just yet.

The noise continued on, and you decided to get up, your eyes already ridding themselves of the Sandman’s dust and your mind already ready to start the day that you had been dreading since the beginning of break: the end of break.

You slowly lifted yourself off of Changbin, putting your hands on either side of his waist and swinging your feet to the floor. Luckily the carpet swallowed most of the noise of your footsteps as you walked out of the room. You thought about what would happen when Changbin woke up and you weren’t there, but you also knew that he would know where to find you.

The walk to the Great Hall seemed longer than any other time you’ve had to do it, and you looked on at the paintings, some of them not in their frames and others posed perfectly in anticipation for everyone coming back to the castle. Once you got to the hard stone of the hallway floors, your footsteps echoed underneath the ongoing noise. It came to a crescendo when you reached the doors to the Great Hall, finding what you expected.

The giant Christmas tree that once stood in the middle of the room was gone, the fairies that once danced on its branches stood on the lanterns hanging from the ceiling. They held their hands up like puppet masters, and you realized they were the ones moving the long tables back into the Hall. Everything was being turned back into normal, and while you were happy to go back to the routine, you also knew you would miss being one of the only people in the castle.

“You scared me.” A voice came from beside you, but you weren’t shocked, only a nod coming as a response. Changbin stood beside you, his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you into him. “It seems like just yesterday I saw you eating with your friends and now here we are.” His eyes never left the moving tables, but yours trailed to his face. Had he known of you for that long?

Before you could ask, however, Changbin smiled. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while.” He shrugged, looking at you. The noise had calmed down, but he still leaned closer as if he was trying to talk over it. “I just never thought you would know who I was, so I kinda gave up.”

The scraping of the tables on the wood floor stopped, and you looked to see everything settled into place, just as it was before. You walked towards the Ravenclaw table, feeling Changbin’s presence next to you as you sat down.

“Well here we are now.” You said simply, leaning your head on your hand and peering sideways at Changbin.

“Yep, here we are now.” Changbin stared at the Hufflepuff table in front of him. “So,” he started, not switching his focus from the table. “Are you okay if my friends know about us? You don’t have to meet them right away, they tend to come pretty late back from break anyways.”

The statement was kind of obvious, you noted. There was no reason for you to hide your relationship, if anything, your friends would be ecstatic to see you had met, and gotten very acquainted with, Changbin. Especially Jisung. Okay, maybe Jisung could be in the dark for a little bit. You weren’t ready to say he was right.

“Of course, I don’t think there’s any reason to hide it, do you?” The hand on your waist squeezed softly, almost in reassurance. “As long as you’re okay with my friends knowing? I mean, one of them is a Hufflepuff, you might know him, and the other two are very,” You paused, trying to find the right word to describe Luna and Jisung, “interesting.”

“Of course, I want them to know about us. My friends are all Gryffindors, three of them. One was my lab partner in Potions, he’s two years younger than me, and then another one is a year younger and the other is a year older.” Changbin counted off his friends, not giving much detail except what year they were in.

“That’s an interesting combination.” You chuckled, trying to think of any Gryffindors you knew of. Having nothing come to mind, you gave up, knowing you would see them soon. “There’s not much more time left until everyone arrives.” There was a sad note to your voice.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin smiled as he asked it, his full face now on display as he turned his body to face yours. Instead of responding, you just leaned forward, connecting your lips and letting them rest there for a moment. Changbin was taken aback, a soft, “okay” mumbled against your lips before he kissed back. The hand that wasn’t on your waist was cupping your cheek, while your two hands rested on his shoulders, thumbs pressing into his collarbones.

Your lips moved together in sync for who knows how long. Time didn’t matter when you were near Changbin, all that mattered was that he was there and that hopefully he would be there for a long time. You lost yourself in him, only focusing on the soft cotton of his robe underneath your fingers, the smooth glide of his lips on yours, and the way your skin heated up where he was touching you.

The sound of a train horn made you pull away, your face hot and you were sure you mimicked Changbin’s red cheeks. You smiled at him, letting your fingers trail to the back of his neck and play with the short hairs at the nape. Landing one last kiss on the tip of his nose, you turned to the door, watching as some students already started piling in and sitting at their house table.

You heard Jisung before you even saw him, his loud voice talking about something you couldn’t quite distinguish, but you knew it was him. Then you saw his hair, now a light blond, walking along with blue hair, Luna. Standing up, you grabbed Changbin’s hand, giving it a light squeeze and preparing yourself for the bombardment of hugs and questions you would get.

“Y/N!” The loud scream came from Jisung, startling the still small amount of students in the Hall. He came running up to you, causing you to let go of Changbin’s hand and use both of yours to brace yourself for the body crashing into you.

It doesn’t mean you were ready for the body crashing into you, though. Almost falling over, you wrapped your arms around Jisung, a large smile making your cheeks hurt. There weren’t any words being exchanged, except for nearly silent “hello”s as Luna also came up behind Jisung and joined in on the hug.

When Jisung pulled away, his eyes trailed from your face to Changbin standing next to you, his hand hovering over the small of your back. You said nothing, letting Jisung put the pieces together. You knew he figured it out when his mouth hung open.

“So now I know what you were doing instead of reading my owl messages and replying to me!” Jisung held your shoulders, shaking you slightly. “And I told you so!” He said the last part a bit louder, and you felt your face heat up.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. You said something.” You rolled your eyes.

“I said a lot of stuff, all of which seemed to be correct by the looks of things.” Jisung stared down at Changbin’s hand on your back before following the hand to find it’s owner staring at him, a small smile on his face. “Oh, sorry I’m rude. I know you but you probably don’t know me, I’m Jisung, Y/N’s best friend and I was right about you two.”

“I’m Luna!” Luna said from behind Jisung, her hands holding her cage with her pet owl.

“Nice to meet you guys. And you were right about what?” Changbin asked Jisung, and you whipped around to him, trying to tell him to not ask about anything Jisung said, but it was already too late.

“I found out you were staying behind along with our lovely friend here, and me, being the amazing lovebird I am, said she should have some fun instead of just spending it all studying.” Jisung explained, clapping at himself and you shook your head laughing. Luna came up behind Jisung, nodding along to everything he said.

“I think the only reason why we’re dating is because you weren’t here to be my wingman anymore.” You jabbed his side with your elbow. “Can we sit down? You guys look tired from the train ride.”

Jisung and Luna nodded, turning around to walk to the other side of the table. While they did that you turned to Changbin, face heating up when you saw he was smiling at you. “You talked about me before we met?”

“Don’t get so flattered, Jisung was exaggerating just a little bit.” You pouted, sitting down and leaning into his side.

“Even if he was exaggerating, I think it’s cute.” Changbin commented, kissing your temple and watching Jisung and Luna weave through students, now followed by Seungmin with very messy hair and an annoyed look on his face. “We can meet my friends later if you want.”

“Sure, that sounds good.” Your head stayed on Changbin’s shoulder as your friends finally sat in front of you. No one said anything at first, but the expressions on their faces told all. Jisung, of course, had a very I told you so face on, one eyebrow raised and a smirk playing on his lips. Luna was looking between you and Changbin and smiling, while Seungmin’s mouth hung open at the sight of the boy sitting next to you. “What happened to you?” You questioned Seungmin, watching as his face turned from one of surprise to one of annoyance.

“My sister’s cat decided to fall asleep on my head and then my alarm didn’t go off so I didn’t have time to fix my messed up hair before I had to catch the train.” Seungmin shook his head, trying desperately with his hands to smooth down his hair before giving up with a huff.

“Just use a spell.” Luna shrugged, running a hand through her blue hair. As she did so, the colors seemed to change slightly, and you realized she must have used a new magic dye to turn her hair even more colors under different lights.

“It’s okay, we don’t go back to classes until tomorrow so I can just take a shower when I get back to the Common Room.” Seungmin shrugged, waiting a moment before directing his attention to Changbin. “So, I’m assuming you two are a thing?”

Changbin just nodded, the arm around your waist tightening while you just scooted closer to him. “Yeah, she couldn’t resist my Hufflepuff charms.” Your arm came around to lightly smack his stomach, all of your friends laughing as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah I couldn’t resist the plant nerd.” You patted his stomach where you hit him just seconds earlier. All your friends laughed again, and you felt a soft vibration of Changbin chuckling as well. You were so glad your friends liked him and got along with him, and you were glad that you had decided to give him a chance.

You looked up at Changbin, finding his nose scrunched up in a fake pout and you gave him a quick peck on the cheek to try and satiate him. When you pulled away you saw Jisung push his palms into his cheeks, a loud “awe” sounding throughout the room as he looked between you. Although your cheeks lit up, you stuck your tongue out at Jisung. “You’re just mad I didn’t need you as my wingman.”

“If I was your wingman you two would have been together for a year by now.” Jisung dodged your hand coming across the table, holding his hands up in fake defeat. “Well you are very cute together, like I said before break but of course some people just don’t appreciate genius.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands and then leaning back to pet his owl in its cage.

You decided not to argue anymore, instead just listening to your friends tell their stories of Christmas spent with family. Changbin’s hand stayed firmly on your waist, his cheek resting on your shoulder. Sometimes he would interject with a statement or a joke and you smiled at how perfect he fit into the group.

The warmth that you noticed at the beginning of the break when you first saw Changbin was still there, but instead of a burning heat it was a comforting warmth that filled your whole body to the tips of your fingers and toes. It was like you didn’t have to worry about being cold ever again when Changbin was around, even if you weren’t touching him, just him looking at you made you begin to heat up.

You could have almost fallen asleep there at the table with your head resting on your hand, but you fought against it, trying to stay active in the conversation while also enjoying just being close to him until you had to eventually separate and go to your own Common Rooms.

You knew when you got back to your Common Room that Jisung and Luna would bombard you with questions, and you were happy to answer them. Through the break you had the best time ever, and you were going to have to thank Jisung for telling you that you should have fun, because that’s exactly what you did, and in the process you found someone that made you feel a comfortable warmth that you couldn’t describe but you loved.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin whispered in your ear while Jisung and Seungmin argued over some sort of history fact.

Looking up at him, you smiled, fighting the urge to press your lips to his again and again. Instead, a simple answer came to mind, and you spoke just as softly as he did, not wanting anyone else to hear. It was what you were thinking about since you met Changbin, and every day since then. It was what you thought in the morning and at night and every second in between. It was a simple answer, but you knew it would get the message across.

“You.”

#stray kids #m.writing #stray kids imagines #skzwriters #stray kids scenarios #stray kids oneshot #seo changbin #changbin #changbin imagines #seo changbin imagine #skz imagines #skz scenarios #this was actually so fun to write !!!#enjoy :D #and its sooo long i apologize i hope you all like it tho !!! 🙇🏻‍♀️😔

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 5 years

Text

The Set Up - Harry Styles One Shot (Part 5)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Everything was still going great, if not better in your relationship with Harry since becoming official. You still hadn’t really told many people in your lives yet because you two wanted to sort get used it for a bit. You knew you would tell Gemma eventually, but right now it was nice watching her squirm for information.

Your co-workers were also very interested in learning about your love life ever since they found out you were dating someone. But you couldn’t worry about adding into workplace gossip because you had a huge event and issue coming out. The 10th anniversary of The Mixtape was in a few days and everyone was working on the issue by piecing different article from the past, some behind the scenes moments and also the story and history of where it all began.

While, the magazine part of The Mixtape hasn’t been around for ten years, what started it all as been. In addition to the magazine issue, you were having a huge party for everyone who helped make your dream possible. You really wanted Harry to be there, but you also knew what that would mean. Everyone would know about your relationship and it’s not like you wanted to hide it or anything, but you weren’t sure how he felt about doing that just yet.

You two had sort of talked about what it meant now that you were together, but there was never really a full discussion on it. You’ve never dated someone that was as famous as he was and seeing how was how his past relationships usually become known at some point, you weren’t sure how you were going to handle that.

Since, you were working so much on the newest issue, you hadn’t really seen Harry much since that morning when he asked you to be his girlfriend. And you felt bad about that especially since in only a few short weeks he’ll be on tour.

Luckily, the first few dates weren’t too far and you were planning on going to at least opening night, but still, you wanted to spend as much time with as you could before then. You were eating lunch at your desk when you got a text from Harry.

Gooooood afternoon, beautiful. Just letting you know, you are to be at my house by seven tonight.

There will be dinner on the table, dessert in the freezer, and a surprise for you on the telly.

You may also wish to bring a change of clothes because I’m in need of someone to tell me if I snore or not.

You smiled reading his text before quickly trying a response.

Lucky for you, I should be done no later than five. That should give me plenty of time to head home and get back to your place.

See you then, lovely.

The next few hours passed by slowly and after being on the phone finalizing everything for the party you were exhausted. Part of you really wanted to just go home, take a hot bath, relax and go to bed, but the bigger part of you really wanted to see your boyfriend.

When you got to your place, you decided to grab a quick shower, and change into more causal clothing before pulling some clothes from your closet and drawers to throw into an overnight bag. Once you had everything you needed you went straight to your car.

You weren’t terribly far from where Harry lived, but sometimes traffic made it seem further than what it really was. It ended up taking you almost an hour to get there and you were behind annoyed and had to pee. Since Harry buzzed you in at the gate, he was already waiting for you at the door.

He smiled holding his arms out, “You’re here.”

“Finally,” you groaned. “Bloody traffic.”

“I’m sorry, love,” he said taking your bag from you.

“It’s fine,” you smiled giving him a quick kiss.

“Hm, I’ve missed that,” he whispered pulling away.

“Sorry,” you sighed. “Work has been crazy with everything going. You know when I had the idea to do the grand celebration and special edition issue, it sounded so much better than actually doing it.”

“I’m sure it’ll be worth it once it’s finished,” he said pouring you a glass of wine.

“I know, I know, I keep telling myself that, but it’s not just me. Everyone is stressed and fuses are short,” you sighed. “I really want to enjoy this celebration because I worked... my team.. everyone has worked too fucking hard to get where we are and I want to be happy about that.”

“Hey,” he said looking at you. “Everything’s going to work out, it’s going to be fine, and you’re going to enjoy it once it’s done.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” you joked.

“And besides, that’s what I decided to all of this,” he smiled. “I know you’ve been stressed and working crazy hours, so why not have a nice at home dinner with your boyfriend.”

You smiled wrapping your arms around his waist, “Thank you, this is something I really needed.”

He smiled leaning down to kiss you before the two of you sat down for dinner.

Once you were finished eating, you helped him clean up, despite his protests and the met over on the couch.

“So, what is this about something being on the tele?” You asked looking over at him.

“Well, I asked Gemma what your favorite movie or tv show was, something that you could watch that would de-stress you a bit,” he said.

“Oh my god!” You gasped. “You did not!”

“I did,” he laughed. “I found it on Hulu, so I figured we could watch your favorite episodes or something.”

“You are amazing!” You smiled wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. “Have you ever seen it?”

“Actually, no,” he said. “Maybe one or two episodes, or part of an episode, but no I’ve not.”

You pulled away from him, “Wait? What? You have never seen the without a doubt the fucking best TV Show in the history of tv shows with the greatest couple ever?”

“Uh, no,” he said with a laugh. “Damn, Gemma wasn’t lying when she said this was your favorite.”

“Damn fucking right,” you said. “Screw my favorite episodes, we’re watching this from the beginning.”

“Fuck, what did I sign up for,” he laughed.

“Shush!” You said grabbing the remote and selecting season 1, episode 1. “Let the binge watching begin!”

It was the day before the anniversary party and not only have you not found something to wear, you also hadn’t asked Harry about going. Gemma would be there and you wondered if she had mentioned anything to him. He hadn’t said anything to you about it and you weren’t sure how you felt about that. He obviously knew about the event, but he asked about if you wanted him there.

You knew you would have to say something to him and now that you thought about it, the longer you waited the more awkward it would be. Since everything was set in place, you would spend the entire day finding the perfect outfit. It wasn’t going to be a super fancy party, but you were the co-owner, founder, and editor.

Jam had already found her’s and was not stressing as much as you. That was one of the reasons why you two were able to work together. The two of you balanced the other out. You were at your place getting ready to head out, when your phone rang.

“Hey, Harry,” you smiled.

“Hey, are you on your way to the office? I thought we could get breakfast, or I could bring some coffee or something in,” he said.

“Actually, I’m not going in the office today,” you said. “I’ve got some shopping to do.”

“Oh, shopping? Do you mind if I tag along?” He asked.

“That depends, how do you feel about tagging along?” You laughed. “I can’t promise it’ll be a quick trip.”

“I don’t care,” he smiled. “I’m spending time with my girlfriend, that’s all that matters.”

“We’ll see if you still feel that way by the end,” you laughed.

A bit later, Harry ended up picking you up and the two of you headed into the city together.

“So, what’s the goal for this day of shopping?” He asked.

“I need an outfit for tomorrow,” you said. “The uh.. anniversary party is tomorrow night.”

“It is?” He asked. “I mean, I knew it was coming up, but didn’t realize.”

You winced, “Yeah, sorry.”

“I take it, you don’t want me to go?” He asked softly.

“No, it’s not that,” you said. “I want you to go, actually. I thought you wouldn’t want to go, is all.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to go?” He asked.

You shrugged, “I figured it would be too public for you to want to come and plus, it’s not going to be this super fancy, extravagant party like you’re used to.”

“I don’t know if I should be offended by that or not,” he sighed shaking his head.

“I-I’m sorry,” you sighed.

“The public thing, I could understand, but the last bit about the party, Y/N, do you really think I’m that fucking shallow or whatever?” He asked.

“What? No,” you said.

He simply shook his head and continued driving after the light turned green. You sighed knowing this would was going to come back and bite you in the ass.

You reached over taking his hand in yours, “I’m sorry, I should have mentioned it earlier, but honestly, I didn’t think you’d want to come. You’ve got a lot going on, plus, we haven’t even told our friends and family about us being together, so I didn’t think you’d want to be seen publicly with me. I mean, yeah, there’s not going to paparazzi or anything there, but there will be public people who are attached to their phones.”

“Y/N, you’re my girlfriend. I care about you, I’m fucking proud of you, so of course, I want to be there for your big night. This is a two way street, baby, I want to support you, just as much as you want to support me. I’ve seen how hard you’ve worked and how stressed you’ve been and I want to be there to enjoy it with you,” he said. “If you want me there.”

You smiled bringing his hand up to your lips, “I want you there.”

“Well, then it looks like I’ll be needing an outfit, too,” he smirked.

The night of the big anniversary party was here. You were at the venue with the party planner making sure everything was getting set up and there weren’t any mishaps. Harry’s place was actually not too far from the venue, so you would be getting ready there and staying over night. Even though you two mostly talked it out, you could tell it still bothered him a little about you not mentioning the party before.

But you couldn’t worry about that now because you had the party to worry about. Most everything was already set up, there would still be a little final touches added here and there, but you were so happy everything was going well. Once you got the thumbs up, you went back to Harry’s house to get ready for the party that would start in less than three hours.

When you arrived, Harry was making lunch for the two of you, he smiled when he saw you.

“Just in time,” he said.

“Hey,” you smiled. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said kissing you quickly. “How’s the set up going?”

“Great,” you smiled. “I can’t wait to see everything once it’s finished.”

“Me either,” he smiled taking a bite of the sandwich.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked.

He nodded, “Anything.”

“Are you still upset about me not asking you to come before last night?” You asked.

“A little,” he shrugged. “But like I said, I can’t blame you for feeling like you did. This is still new to both us.”

You nodded taking his hand, “It really means a lot that you’re coming though. I want you to know that.”

He smiled leaning over to kiss you.

A few hours later, your hair and makeup was done and you were all dressed ad ready to go. You had found a gorgeous black and white jumpsuit with a sweetheart neckline.

“Oh boy,” you groaned.

“What?” Harry asked pulling his suit jacket over his shoulders.

“I didn’t realize “the girls” were going to be this noticeable,” you groaned. “I don’t remember it looking like that in the fitting room yesterday. Does it look bad?”

He smirked, “Quite the opposite actually.”

You rolled your eyes, “You would say that.”

He laughed putting his hands on your waist, “It doesn’t look bad, I promise. I don’t think there’s going to be any nip slips, so you’re good.”

“I’m going to take your word for it,” you said pointing at him.

He smirked kissing your cheek, “But you are missing something.”

“What’s that?” You asked.

“Hold one second,” he said walking over to his dresser and taking something out. “Now, before you freak out, I want you to know that I just happened to come across this and thought it would be perfect for you.”

“Why would I freak out?” You laughed. “What is it?”

He handed you a medium sized box and you looked at it suspiciously before taking into your hands to open it. When you do, its a necklace with a little diamond incrusted charm in the shape of an old cassette or a mixtape.

You gasped looking at him, “It’s beautiful.... I... wow.”

“Here let me put it on,” he smiled taking it from the box while you turned around.

He wrapped it around your neck and clasped it, “There you go.”

You turned around wrapping your arms around his shoulder, “Thank you, I love it,” you smiled before leaning up to kiss him.

Arriving at the venue, you were shocked to see how many people were in attendance. You squeeze Harry’s hand and he gave yours a kiss. You smiled a bit before getting out of the car and headed into the venue. Harry stayed by your side as you went in through the back.

“Ready to meet everyone?” You asked.

“Born ready,” he joked.

You laughed walking in to where everyone on the main staff was waiting before the big entrance and speeches. When you walked in with Harry Styles on your arm, everyone froze and their jaws dropped.

“No fucking way,” Jam said. “This is the mystery bloke?”

“Uh, surprise,” you laughed. “Everyone, this is Harry, this is everyone. The Mixtape staff.”

Harry smiled making his way to greet everyone. Most everyone was still in shock and Jam smirked looking over at you with a big thumbs up. You laughed rolling your eyes before grabbing yourself and Harry a drink.

“So, what do you think?” You asked taking a sip.

“They seem lovely,” he laughed.

“I think there a bit starstruck right now,” you laughed. “I’ve never seen them this quiet before.”

The rest of the night when smoothly. All the speeches, the little videos playing, photo ops, everything was just how you wanted it do go. Gemma was there and she kept giving you and Harry a knowingly smirk with a few i told you so’s thrown in the mix. Once all of your duties were finished for the night, you really were able to enjoy it and you did.

You danced with your boyfriend and took pictures with him. You also noticed that neither of you were downing the drinks and that caused something to cross your mind. You and Harry still had yet to take that next step in your relationship, not for the lack of want.

And the want was very high that night. When the party was over, the two of you got into the car the was picking you up. On the drive to his house, he took his hands in yours, playing with the rings on your fingers. You giggled laying your head on his shoulder.

“Was it everything you wanted?” He asked.

“It was perfect,” you smiled. “Thank you again for coming.”

“Of course, baby,” he smiled looking over at you.

The car was mostly dark aside from the glow of the screen in the front and the streetlights and cars that passed by. You brought your hand up to his cheek, pressing a kiss against his lips. He ran his hand up your arm and down your back, bringing you closer to him as he deepened the kiss.

Both of you are obviously to the driver until he let out an awkward cough. Blushing you two pulled away from the other, anticipating the final minutes until he pulled into the driveway. You two got out from the car, making sure you had your bag and headed for the front door. You giggled as your boyfriend took your hand and practically pulled you up the steps of his home before fumbling with his keys again.

It only took him a few short seconds before unlocked it and pushed the door in. As soon as you both were inside, he slammed the door shut, locked it, and took your hand. He pulled you closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he took your face into his hands.

Smiling up at him as you leaned your head towards him, he smirked hovering his lips over yours, teasing you for a bit of a kiss before finally pressing his lips into yours. His fingers soon found themselves in your hair as he deepened the kiss. You gripped onto his shoulders as both of you started making your way through the foyer.

“Bedroom?” He whispered against your lips in-between kisses.

“Fuck, yes,” you mumbled before pulling him in for another kiss.

He smirked putting his hands on your ass and picking you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you into his bedroom. After turning on the light, he walked over to his bed, sitting down with you on his lap. You pushed his suit jacket down his shoulders as he pulled his arms out of the sleeves.

You bit your lip as you felt his lips against the skin of your neck and collarbone. Your fingers trembled with anticipation as you unbuttoned the remainder of his shirt, slipping it off his shoulders and down his arm.

“So, fucking hot,” you smirked running your hand over his chest and shoulders. “And all my mine, right?”

He smirked, “I’m all your’s baby,”

“Good,” you whispered kissing him again.

Less than a few minutes later, you felt his fingers on the zipper of your jumpsuit. He pulled it down slowly, his hand softly touching the newly revealed skin of your back. Since it was all one piece, you got off of his lap long enough for him to pull the fabric all the way down your body.

“I didn’t realize you weren’t wearing a bra,” he noted as you retook your place on his lap.

“There was one built into the top,” you smirked. “Why? Disappointed with what you see?”

“Far from it,” he smirked.

He didn’t waste anytime attaching his lips to your naked chest and cupping it with his hands. A moan escaped your lips as you gripped onto his shoulders. The longer he paid attention to your chest, the more you wanted his attention elsewhere, as well.

Sensing this, he brought his hand down and slipped his hand into the last remaining piece of fabric on your body. Your grip on his shoulders, tightened as his hand moved in slowly in a circular motion. Removing his lips from your chest, he kissed his way up your neck before finally placing them back onto your lips.

Moaning against his lips, he smirked moving his hand a little faster.

“Fuck,” you groaned his lips.

Smirking, he removed his hand, much to your dismay before placing his hands on your hips and rolling you over onto your back. You stared up at him, chest heaving up a down a bit more at your elevated heart rate, cheeks redden, and sweat starting to glisten your skin. You moved hair out of your face as you watched he slowly pull the black, cotton fabric from your body.

Once it was in a ball on his bedroom floor, he ran his hands up your legs as he pushed them a bit more further apart. He crawled onto the bed, hovering over you before planting a kiss on your lips. You smiled putting your hands on the sides of his face.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered. “Gorgeous, fucking sexy as hell.”

You giggled, “Hm, thank you.”

He smiled kissing you one last time before making his way down your neck and chest, slowly. Once his lips finally left your chest, he made his way down kissing and licking your stomach before you felt his hand returning back to it’s previous position. You gasped when you felt him inside of you, one finger, moving at an achingly slow pace.

Needing to hold something, your fingers found their way to the sheets, gripping them as pleasure started taking over your body. Not that you were holding back before, but the sounds erupted from your body as soon as you felt his tongue working it’s magic on you, where quite loud and you were happy the nearest neighbor was far enough away.

The build up in your body was starting to rise, your body practically begging for releasing. When your boyfriend start picking up his pace, you knew he had realized this, and soon after you were screaming his name, along with a few choice words as the waves of pleasure took over you body. He stayed where he was until you were completely finished and then he kissed his way up your body before licking his fingers as he hovered over you.

“I uh, take it you like that, huh?” He breathed out.

“A little bit, yeah,” you smirked as you tried catching your breath.

“Only a little?” He raised an eyebrow.

You giggled nodding, “Yep,” you said making sure to pop the ‘p”.

“Hm, then I guess you wouldn’t want to continue then?” He asked.

“Not even close,” you smirked pulling on the top of his trousers. “We’re in for long night ahead of us.”

“Oh fuck,” he laughed pressing his lips against yours.

You didn’t waste any time removing the remaining clothing off of him as you kissed him. He rolled you over onto your back as he deepened the kiss. You ran your hands over his chest causing him to moan against your lips. He pulled away from a bit, reaching over to grab something from the table near the bed.

You smirked bringing your lips up to his neck as you kissed along the skin there.

“Shit,” he groaned.

“What?” You laughed.

“I dropped it,” he groaned.

You giggled as he leaned over even more trying to reach the foil package on the ground. You smirked reaching over and tickling his side causing him to yelp out, which made you laughed even more. After picking it up, he took in his hand and looked over at you.

“Why do you always do that?” He groaned with a laugh.

“Because it’s funny,” you smirked.

“Oh, just like this is?” He smirked before tickling your sides.

“AH! Okay, okay,” you giggled. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist.”

“Hm, you know what I can’t resist?” He smirked.

“Hm, don’t know?” You asked.

“You,” he whispered.

You smirked leaning up to kiss him as he fumbled opening the wrapper. He pulled away from the kiss briefly and looked down at you. He brought his hand up to your forehead, pushing a strand of hair away. Smiling up at you, you reached up to return the favor before you felt him gently push into you.

Neither of you moved for a moment, savoring the feeling of being together. You moved your hands down his sides putting them on his waist as he moved slowly. You let out a whimper against his lips. One of his hands ran up your leg as you gripped onto his back.

By the time both of you were finished, sweat practically dripped down your bodies. The room was filled with your heavy breathing as both of your chests heaved up and down. He rolled off of you before bringing you close and taking your hand in his. He smiled bringing it up to his lips and leaving little kisses on each of your fingers.

You giggled, “I figured you’d be tired of kissing me for a bit.”

“I’d never get tired of kissing you,” he smirked. “Hell, I do it all the time if I didn’t need to breathe.”

You laughed shaking your head before pushing the sheet off of you and getting up.

“Hey, what, get back here,” he groaned.

“I need to wipe my makeup off,” you laughed. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

He looked over at you with a pout as he reached for your hand, except he leaned over too far causing him to lose his balance and fall onto the floor bringing you down with him.

“Ow, fuck,” he laughed.

“Was that because you hit the floor or because I hit you?” You laughed looking down at him.

“Both,” he laughed. “You know this is your fault.”

“What? How?” You laughed.

“Because you got up,” he said. “Had you stayed in bed cuddling, I wouldn’t have fell on my ass.”

“Or maybe it’s your fault because you’re so needy,” you giggled.

“No, I don’t think that’s it,” he laughed pushing hair behind your ear.

“Oh, well, then I guess since you’re not needy, you wouldn’t want to join me in the shower then?” You asked raising an eyebrow.

“Baby, I’m as needy as needy can fucking get,” he smirked. “Now, let’s go.”

You laughed as you got up, quickly making your way to the bathroom.

Welp, looks like there’s going to be another part! With a bit of angst for all those who want it!

#One Direction Imagines #Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles One Shots

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mthought-s · 3 years

Text

The Truth Behind Unpopular K-pop Opinions (video essay transcript)

youtube

[Voices voicing unpopular K-pop opinions]

[Unpopular k-pop opinions in robot voices] x3

An unpopular K-pop opinion is made up of three things:

An opinion

K-pop

And asking: Is it unpopular?

If a statement checks these three boxes, congratulations you have an unpopular K-pop opinion.

They started off being posted on anonymous confession blogs and forums. Some of the oldest Tumblr blogs and posts for these opinions are from 2011 to 2012, documenting over a decade of K-pop opinions. Unpopular opinions and confession blogs aren’t anything new. It's been a practice in online spaces for a long time for people to anonymously share opinions that could potentially be problematic or offensive towards others. Sometimes the opinions are completely neutral. Websites like Tumblr even have these anonymous options built into their websites with anon asks. It’s an opinion with no consequences, a statement for people to debate and discuss.

Today, they have spread to Twitter threads and YouTube videos. And they’re super popular. Actually, popular isn’t the right word. They’re super controversial. They’re provoking—not necessarily thought provoking—just provoking. They garner hundreds of thousands of views, if not millions, on YouTube. Then for Twitter threads, these opinions are capable of starting fanwars and conversation with possibly thousands of quote retweets.

Many fan accounts use them to stir up views and engagement, having thumbnails and threads that feature controversial topics. At times, these unpopular opinions aren’t actually unpopular. Unpopular becomes synonymous with negative where these pieces of fan content and engagement contain negative opinions to discuss, not necessarily ones that are unpopular and go against the majority opinion. For these opinions, it is also difficult to actually determine if an opinion is unpopular because K-pop fandoms are so large and diverse. In a way, these opinions are incorrectly labeled as unpopular. Instead, they are controversial. These are controversial K-pop opinions. For the sake of simplicity though, I will continue to refer to them as unpopular for the remainder of this video. Unpopular K-pop opinions are our gateway into conversation in K-pop spaces.

There’s many pros to these opinions.

They provide a place for people to express an opinion opposing the majority opinion. The majority opinion is very powerful because it leads to agreement and consensus. Unpopular opinions shake things up. They go against the majority. They cause people to question their biases and further research for reasons to defend their own personal opinion. That opposition against the majority can create conversation, leading to fleshing out people’s thoughts on their stances and deepening the understanding behind the topic that those opinions are based on.

Unpopular opinions can also bring light to issues. It provides a platform to be honest. At times, people don’t want to challenge the majority opinion in fear of being witch hunted and dogpiled on for pointing out an issue. For example, people in the fandom space might be using a potentially offensive term. The anonymity of unpopular opinions can provide a spark to a conversation where alternatives to a term can be found and the community can educate themselves further.

One more reason is that unpopular opinion Twitter threads, YouTube videos, blogs, and forums all provide avenues for people with similar opinions to find each other. People can build relationships with each other and create long, lasting friendships. It enhances the community experience of a fandom, providing a sense of commaderite between fans.

There’s also many cons to these opinions and platforms though.

These opinions are essentially gossip. Gossip has a thrill to it. It feels good, but it can be harmful to others. At times, unpopular opinions can begin to cross personal boundaries where they discuss the mental health, sexuality, political opinions, and other invasive topics of K-pop idols and the K-pop industry. Many people in K-pop communities find unpopular opinions invasive of the privacy of idols and disrespectful of their personal lives. Unpopular opinion accounts and blogs encourage people to speculate and possibly spread mis- or dis-information around the online space. This can harm the perception of a celebrity, causing discourse within the fandom.

Unpopular K-pop opinions can make people feel like they’re right for having the opinion they have too. These opinions are no longer viewed as opinions, but as facts for many people. They confirm biases and can create echo chambers where people say the same thing again and again. There’s no deeper thinking, only confirmation bias and ostracization of people who disagree.

While these anonymous platforms can be used to shed light on issues, they can also be abused to say things that are genuinely problematic and offensive without consequences. In some instances, unpopular opinion blogs have been automated where opinions are not reviewed by an actual person or a moderator before being posted. This can lead to opinions being posted that have slurs in them and viewpoints promoting harm to others.

Unpopular K-pop opinions exist in a limbo where there is both good and bad to them. They will always exist for a hot take rant or a structured essay. Although, there’s something shifting and changing in fandom spaces that has changed the view on them in recent years. There’s a new truth to what these opinions represent and why there’s so much push back against them now in particular. Let’s break down the truth behind unpopular K-pop opinions.

The current state of fandom is not ideal for these opinions to exist in. In the past, fandoms have been largely disconnected from each other. Instead of a fandom being one, cohesive group of people that coexists in one space, fandoms look more like this:

Online fandoms are separated by websites. There is overlap of users, but fans are usually mostly active on one website or platform for fannish activities. This would be called their main platform. Then, fans are further divided on websites by their interests. For instance, if someone is a fanartist, they’re usually around other fanartists because it’s the same interest. Overlap is more common with interests where someone can be a fanartist, but also a fanfic author. Someone can be into critical analysis of a TV show, but also be a merch collector. No one is ever in fandom for only one thing.

This is how fandom is usually organized. It differs from fandom to fandom, but this is the bare system of organization. Now, take this organization we’ve discussed already and increase its scale and intensity significantly. That’s what fandoms look like now. Instead of a disconnect between groups though, everything melts together. Cross-platform discourse, especially between Tumblr and Twitter, has become increasingly more common along with cross-interest discourse. Many spaces such as fanart spaces that would have their own discourse and are disconnected from the main fandom space, now meld into the main fandom space anyway. Discourse and discussion is not divided depending on what your interests are anymore, everyone is partaking in it whether they actually care about the interest or not.

In recent years, there has been an exponential increase in people joining online fandom spaces. Many old, already established fandoms and franchises such as Harry Potter and Star Wars had reboots. This allowed a wave of new fandoms to learn from them then build themselves. Add on an increase in internet usage over the years with the appearance of new media to support these fandoms and you have a much larger fandom subculture. Where a majority of fandoms used to be smaller, more tight knit, fandoms are increasingly becoming humongous, interconnected online communities.

And these communities don’t only exist online. In real life, we can see this fandom growth with the expansion of fan events. We see fandoms represented in concerts, passionately singing along to their favorite artist’s song. We see them in conventions, cosplaying and going from panel to panel to meet other fans. We see them in meet and greets, competitions, tours, and so much more. Fandom is bigger than ever, especially due to the COVID-19 pandemic. This has led to millions of people having more free time and spending that time getting into fandom and learning fan culture.

More people means more problems though. Fandoms have never had a good track record of trusting each other in the first place, but more people leads to more mistrust. Stances and opinions in fandoms become more complex. There’s a necessity to clarify and thoroughly explain oneself in order to not get “cancelled” for failing to acknowledge something. You can’t just say anything because people that don’t know you will assume you said something else from what you did say.

In online fandom spaces, people assume intent and decipher posts in order to ensure the original poster’s morals are aligned with their own. Many look to not take the post at face value and look further to ensure the post they’re sharing has an author they agree with. This desire to know the original poster or op’s original intentions pushes people to fill in the blanks with assumptions.

Fandoms begin to generalize and hard-line opinions to compensate because taking the time to learn hundreds of thousands of people’s full, thorough opinions on increasingly complex and multifaceted topics has become more difficult. It’s easier and takes less mental strain and energy to assume intention than actually learn it.

This trend of an increasing interest and population in fandom culture has also led to other trends and changes in how fandoms protect themselves as opposition and complexity in opinion grows.

The fandom police or fanpol are a group of people within a fandom who engage in policing. Policing is to regulate, control, or keep people in order. In fandom history’s past, fanpol have existed with smaller groups trying to bring their version of order to a fandom. Usually these fanpol groups censor other people in the fandom by dogpiling, using disinformation in expose threads, and mass reporting. They’re not favorable groups of people, being unpleasant and downright vile in some cases where they dox and cyber stalk people who disagree with them. Fanpol has become synonymous with fandom bullies.

In today’s current fandom era, these smaller fanpol groups have expanded to where they’re not small, specialized groups anymore. These censoring and policing ideologies have become ingrained in the majority of a fandom or large, overwhelming groups of the fandom. It’s no longer just policing, it’s an entire change in how fans interact with each other. It’s an ideological change. Fandoms essentially police themselves now, no small group of people needed.

The truth behind unpopular K-pop opinions is that they are subject to a changing fandom environment.

Opposition is seen as hatred with hidden agendas to defame and slander. Fandoms want to protect themselves. They’ve begun to police each other on a large scale to do so instead of community building and actually knowing each other. Fandoms have become hypersensitive to opposition because more often than not, that opposition turns into hatred, harassment, and eventually a person who has awful, malicious intentions gains a platform and can’t be taken down. That hostility is a safety measure, a precaution that compensates for a fandom’s failure to bond with each other. It’s not necessarily their fault that they have failed though.

Unpopular opinions have always existed, but even though they’re unpopular they’ve become popular to do. In the face of growing hostility to opposition, the anonymous platform of unpopular K-pop opinions allows for expression. It allows for opposition to exist that isn’t malicious. Sometimes people just don’t like things that are popular or want to criticize something properly without fear of being sent death threats or being constantly harassed for that criticism. Mild unpopular opinions and criticism cannot exist in this current environment.

We are in a state of fandom where mild disagreement is treated the same as downright hatred. It’s faced with hostility and aggression for the reasons I specified earlier. Eventually, we’ll reach a state where mild agreement is treated the same as downright hatred. Where anything that isn’t enthusiastic, gleamingly positive support and showers of love are seen as malicious and attacks against a celebrity or interest.

And it’s so complicated. On one hand, we want to let these milder opinions exist and allow people to express how they truly feel. However, there’s more often than not, hidden agendas behind these milder opinions. There’s agendas to hurt and harm fans and idols.

The truth behind unpopular K-pop opinions is that they exist and have become increasingly more common to express because of this conflict. Fandoms do not know each other anymore and aren’t focused on community building, leading to a spike in hostility to opposition to protect themselves. K-pop fandoms don’t actually care about K-pop anymore in the way they’re supposed to care about it. They should care about their groups and want to build a fandom that loves that group. They’re not doing that though, so when they’re faced with harm from outsiders they don’t know how to combat it as a fandom. K-pop fandoms don’t care about each other. They care about clout. Unpopular K-pop opinions are used to gain their clout through rage clicks and clickbait. That’s why unpopular K-pop opinions have become popular. That’s the truth.

I was originally going to end this video right here. However, I don’t think I can end on such a depressing and hopeless note. If you look at my channel, I haven’t uploaded anything for weeks (months) because I’ve been consumed trying to figure out how to end this without sounding defeatist. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.

So, here goes:

K-pop fandoms can break away from this fandom state where truth seems almost impossible to obtain and clout is seen as king by just choosing to be true to themselves. Be true to their goal as K-pop fans. Their goal is to love their idols, love the thing that brought them into the fandom in the first place. That’s the goal of every fandom. You’re in a fandom because you want to talk about things and enjoy something with other people.

It’s about appreciating the music, content, and interaction groups give fans. That’s why streaming and voting is so amplified to K-pop stans. They stream and vote to show love to their groups because their individual words and actions might never reach them. It’s how the fandom is capable of expressing themselves en masse to their favorite group so that way their favorite group can feel the love they feel for them.

And you can express that love in different ways too. You don’t need to vote and stream, that’s just one of the unique and direct options K-pop stans have. Fanartists express their love by creating art. Fanfiction writers write fanfiction. Editors make edits. If you’re not a creative, simply listening to the music, reading the lyrics, and engaging with others about the music and content is a way to express your love.

The truth behind unpopular K-pop opinions doesn’t need to be the truth anymore. We can change the fandom state by choosing to be ourselves. We can build a community and bond. We can protect our fandom spaces from malicious people and trust each other. You and I are K-pop stans, fans, whatever you want to call it, because we love our groups.

And if you’re just a random person watching this video, you can be in on this too. I hope you’re feeling what I’m feeling right now. I hope you’re feeling it, okay? We love them for who they are, okay? That is our truth and we should live it.

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

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30. I Consent

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Whenever they had a chance to be together, she was pretty restrictive of what he could and couldn’t do. He felt almost like he was being trained for her pleasure... which was frustrating on some of his more needy nights, but any other time pretty hot because... well... she was Grace. Others didn’t stand a chance even being able to get a whiff of her and she would put it right in his face, sometimes allowing him to do something about it, sometimes seeing if he can follow rigid directions in a position like that. It made her smile, therefore, he enjoyed it to a certain degree. He kinda liked the torture at times. It was familiar to self harm, but in this instance, he actually got a treat sometimes, and the denial that he got at other times made for his longing to intensify.

But, he had hurt her in the past and now she had to reassure herself that he respected all of her boundaries, even those that seemed unreasonable. He needed to confirm if he was capable of seeking out her affirmative consent, or if he was simply playing along with some games in order to get sweet satisfaction. If it were the latter, he was going to have to really work for it. She had already decided on at least a 3 month probation period, meaning he did not even pull his tool out for that long and she would reevaluate on Christmas Eve whether or not they were in a place of going further than her current boundaries.

Sometimes, he wondered if her boundaries were real, or if she set them up just to test him.

Either way, he was settling into his new position at work, managing a project that had been his baby for YEARS, and also able to set aside time to set up his workshop for his hobbies.

Buying a big house was something his father advised him against, considering the cost of living in New York, the fact that he was “fickle,” and probably wouldn’t want to stay in New York once Grace was “done with him,” and that he wasn’t rich. Simon could afford the house that he bought. He wasn’t Monroe rich, but he did okay for himself considering his drawbacks and he was doing better all of the time. As his skill and success grew, so did his salary. He was confident that he wouldn’t harm himself with the purchase and comfortable about the size of it, because different moods needed different spaces.

His workspace was specifically for working, with his desk with three laptops and all of the work things associated with it. He had his little home “lab” in the same room. Lab tables and equipment for projects and various prototypes were set on the workstation and there were cabinets of supplies and stock for various technological needs.

His study was a miniature library of sorts (he didn’t have a lot of physical copies of books, as most of those were available electronically), but he did have some - important ones that changed his life, ones he had written, ones he had been given as gifts, ones he had from when he was little, etc… and his reading nook was there, as well as his writing desk.

His workshop would be mostly for his crafts. He designated the closet in there for his work tools - for house work and yard work and such, and the rest of it was going to be for all of his figures, whether wood or robotics. He had been jealous of his dad’s garage for a time, the way that everything was set just like he liked it and he had that space to himself just to delve into his model building. Simon determined at an early age, he’d have a designated space for his own passions too.

All of those rooms were set in different areas of the house, near the back. In fact, one had to pass by his study to get to the back porch… which was very big, and the backyard was even bigger. Grace used to indulge him when they were younger, and jokingly say, “I’d better stop spoiling you or you’ll get used to champagne taste.” The unspoken being understood by him - that he didn’t have the income for such taste. Instead of discouraging his tastes, it inspired his drive. Grace would always credit his good traits to, “Well, you’re a Leo-Virgo cusp. Of course you’re virtually perfect.” Simon didn’t buy that. Simon’s perfectionism was because he knew that he needed to be the best at everything that he was good at to be seen as worthy in those areas and to be taken seriously and ultimately be ahead of the curve for all of them. That was why he focused just as much on writing as he did building figures. That was why he focused just as much on engineering as he did writing. That was why he focused just as much on business skills as he did engineering.

So, that despite the fact that he was not an ambassador’s kid, he could still hold his own when they were together. Course, Grace was focused on other things at the moment. He made a conscious decision to check in with her every day to see if she needed/wanted anything, if there was something aside from that he could do for her or Hazel, and just to see how she was faring.

She was generally too busy, as she was working on her upcoming album release, and also mothering. Hazel was generally very close by or with her. She had a nanny, but Grace was very adamant about the nanny just being an extra pair of hands and eyes while she was busy, and not “a stand in mommy,” which… that couldn’t happen anyways, with the way that she tended to hover. Hazel had tried to talk to her about it, but Grace just didn’t know how to ease up. For that reason, Hazel was DELIGHTED that Grace was so busy with album business.

She loved her and enjoyed their time together, but she really just wanted to breathe sometimes. She wanted an adventure sometimes that didn’t involve her mom. That didn’t much include meeting celebrities like musicians, singers, dancers and such… because as cool as that was, Hazel wasn’t that interested in those types of celebrities. However, she DID love the fact that she was on a first name basis with Shana, because she loved her shady videos and the way that she made news fun, as Shana didn’t just dish out trash… she was an actual journalist and spoke on current events and world issues. She was an activist and a public figure and more than the gossip persona the public generally associated her with. And, she let Hazel use bad words whenever she was with her.

But, Hazel really liked whenever she was able to meet authors, particularly ones that wrote sci fi and fantasy. As far as she was concerned, aside from Grace, the most impressive celebrity that she had met was Simon. He wasn’t as popular as he had been a few years ago, staying out of the limelight these days and slowly getting back into publishing work, but the first Book of Esmoroth had sentimental value to her. It got her through a lot of bad real life and let her escape to a world where harming children was punishable by death and the only adults ever mentioned either served or helped the children. That was a very nice fictional place to go whenever most of the adults in her real life had been absent or weary from her. Plus, she would have a hand in the future publications of the series and that was a great feat FOR HER. Simon had even put her name in the credits of Book 2 and told her that he was dedicating it to her.

“For Hazel, seen only as a child when she really is a beacon of wisdom and reflection. The Throne of Esmoroth shall be yours someday.” That was WONDERFUL! THAT was gonna be published soon!!

She also liked that Simon was always available. She knew that it was because he wanted to impress her mom, but it was nice to have access to the one person who understood some of her less public ways a little bit more AND wanted to be on Hazel’s good side. Most of Grace’s friends were close enough that they knew her and got her (most of them knew her better than Simon, at this point in life), but they also were Grace’s friend first and Hazel’s associate second. They might see a need to tell Grace some of the stuff that she said, out of concern or duty or whatever. Simon… often struggled with that.

Hazel could call him and tell him about kids at school and not have to worry that Grace would get a text and want to speak with the administration about things or worse - to the other kids’ parents. She could tell him when Grace was getting on her nerves and he would laugh about it and rarely ever reminded her that she was trying her best and a good mommy (she KNEW that. She didn’t need people telling her that. She needed to vent on the days that Grace was TOO much of a mommy). Turned out that while Hazel and Simon were very different types, they were similar in some ways that made them connect a little bit easier than she could with someone who was her parent.

Of course, nobody would ever be as close to her as Grace and she could never love anybody more, even if she tried. At this point in life, Grace could probably leave her under a bush, and she’d spend the rest of her life trying to get back to her. She groaned at that thought. That was another thing that she could talk to Simon about and he understood it better than anybody else that she had ever met… that fear that maybe one day she would casually lose the most important person in her life. Maybe to her career, maybe to a love interest. Maybe to being tired of playing mommy… She had a very real and sometimes paralyzing fear of losing Grace. Simon understood it and always comforted her. That was when she DID need to hear what she already knew: Grace would never turn her back on you. If she ever accidentally put anything else first, she would fix it. What would not happen is that something would make her decide to ignore you or turn you away. Nothing is more important to Grace than you. And I should know. I used to be where you are. But, I messed that up. You’re really lucky. She loves you even more than she ever loved me.

“That’s not really true, you know… I was around when she was trying to get over you. I was around when she still loved you. After you hurt her… she still loved you. She learned to heal herself after being hurt, but you hurting her didn’t make her stop loving you.”

He needed that too. He had been told so much by Grace before, but it just felt more genuine coming from a kid who hadn’t technically been affected by those events. He knew that Hazel had no reason to say anything but what actually happened/what she believed from her observations.

So, while Grace focused on her career, Simon built his life in New York, and Hazel got used to the other person who she had come to respect a lot. She and Grace stopped by for the tea parties, as the tea table and stuff were there. Lucy and Lindsey liked Simon’s house… mostly the fact that it had a yard. Lucy lived in a penthouse condominium and Lindsay lived in a brownstone with nothing more than a stoop and sidewalk outside. Simon found it a little bit funny that these rich girls didn’t have yards, but after thinking about how happy it made them (so happy that they usually forsook the tea party to play outside in the yard), it made him sad. THEY didn’t care about the brownstone or the condos… those were parental decisions that deprived them of playing out in a yard, even though their families could afford to…

“What are you thinking about?” Grace wondered, from the cushioned back porch swing that she was reading a book on while the tea party table sat next to her, abandoned by girls throwing fall leaves at each other. It was so damn cold, but Simon had an outdoor fireplace and it was in the perfect spot in proximity to this seat for her to claim it as hers for this event.

“How people try to make space in their world for kids, instead of letting their kids make space in their worlds,” he said. She made a confused face and set her book aside. He glanced at the book, shrugged his shoulders and expounded, “People will plan to have kids or maybe even not plan to, but wind up with them, nonetheless, and they cut out what they imagine to be a child sized space in their world, giving them a percentage of their physical space, a percentage of their mental space, emotional, etc… Then the kids shows up and they’re often larger than life. Some people aren’t able to accommodate it. That’s sad… but it’s sadder when they are able to accommodate it, and they… just don’t..” She frowned. Was he attacking her parenting in some way? Was he saying that she wasn’t doing something for Hazel that she needed to be? She was on the verge of insult when he started crying. “I just… If I would have been a better person… I might have a kid running around with them.” He took a deep breath, then laughed, “I’ll shut up.”

“No… it’s… fine. Do you want to talk about it?” He bit his lip. “I didn’t ask do you think you deserve to be able to talk about it, because I know how you think. You think that everything that you say to me is whining, but I don’t think that. So. Do you want to talk about it? I consent.” he smiled a little and moved closer to her, so that she sat up and they were next to each other with opposing knees pressed against each other.

“I just… Sometimes, I’m upset that you didn’t tell me, but I also know that at that time, I wouldn’t have cared. I most likely would have responded as atrociously as i did about anything else, and then again, I always wonder, what if I didn’t? What if that could have been just the thing to help me see how fucked up I was and how fucked up I was being? What if knowing about them could have changed me then? Changed us?”

Grace nodded, waiting to see if he had more to say. He seemed finished. “To that, I say this… The way that you treat other people is how they might perceive you. Even if you say that could have changed you, I don’t think for one minute that it would have changed me. My trajectory was already affected by what had already taken place. I didn’t tell you, not only because I didn’t think that it would matter, I didn’t tell you because the flipside of that - that it might matter, that it might make you change, that it might change us… that was even more terrifying. The thought that someone could do the things that you did to me, then I might be faced with signing on to a commitment via a child with them… and just have to believe that they might be okay for us? The shoulda woulda couldas are behind me, because I know that even if I had told you, i still would have had an abortion, and I still would be at peace with that decision today. Because, for who we were and what happened, it was the best decision. It was a decision that in hindsight, I would have found to be the best decision, even if you were a better person. So… if you’re gonna be upset about it, the target is me. Because I would not have had a baby at that time, no matter the circumstances. Hell, I’m 23 and I don’t know that I want to have one now. Maybe 26, but who knows? I could reach 26 and think maybe 36. The thing about it is… that’s not on you. What you did affected me and us, but it didn’t affect that pregnancy or the outcome.”

“If I have a kid, can I name them Ivory?”

She flinched but shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t own the name… But, I’m probably gonna still name my first bio that.”

He smirked. “They could be the same person…”

“Yeah right. Kids playing in leaves is giving you baby fever at 23. You’re not gonna wait for whenever I’m ready to start producing one of those.”

“You’ve always struck me as a surrogate type,” he said.

“I absolutely am! Just the thought of the whole body changing, horrific ordeal that is pregnancy, and ultimately labor… just reads like a traumatic horror scene of gore and anguish. Now… I’m willing to pay good money for somebody else to do that, but the actual me doing it myself? I’ve read far too much about the subject matter to just want to. Anyways, they let Black women drop like flies in maternity mishandling all over the country. Someone would have to pay ME to have a baby, at this point.”

Simon laughed at that thought, then stopped. “I promise, I am not laughing about black women dying in childbirth!”

Now, she chuckled a little, “I didn’t figure that you were…”

“How much would you charge for something like that?” Simon wondered.

“To have a baby? The surrogacy process generally costs 6 figures, Dude. My prestigious womb would be double the usual.”

He laughed and shook his head, “Wow. What if you fall in love? Like… what if you meet someone and you two want a family and you happen to get pregnant? It’s happened before.”

“Yeah, when I was a kid. I don’t have enough sex to facilitate that could happen to me again and if I was already in love and already with someone, they would know and I would know that me squeezing a baby out isn’t a current option, so we’d be placing preventative measures in place!”

“Preventative… So, if you’re feeling extra good with somebody you love and the mood is right and you’re both really feeling it and you have a whole hot night of being pumped full of nut, you wouldn’t be inclined to keep a pregnancy that came about from that?”

“First off, be less gross. Jesus. Secondly… There would be no pregnancy to come about from that, because that’s why scientists created the morning after pill.”

“Good to know. I’m gonna act a fool in there, since it won’t bother you either way,” he said.

She knocked his knee with hers, “You just bought yourself longer probation.”

“I was joking! Partially…”

“You’re tryin’ to have a night of nutting in my immaculate womb and I’m not gonna give you a free to skeet pass!”

“OH MY GOD!” Hazel shrieked. Lucy was red in the face and Lindsey was cackling.

Grace covered her face with both hands and Simon said, “That wasn’t what it sounded like… and you all are like… 10-11… it should have sounded like absolute gibberish to you in the first place!”

“At what age do you think people know these things?” Hazel wondered.

“I don’t know… 13 sounds fine.”

“WHAT? You have to know about pregnancy and insemination as soon as your body is able to produce such things! Meaning, when periods start! Which, for most girls is between the ages of 10 and 16!!”

“I’m sorry…” Simon said. “This was absolutely my fault. Do I need to call their parents and explain?” He asked Grace.

“They heard ME, not you!” She said. “And… I’m not saying anything unless someone’s mom calls me and asks.”

Lucy shook her head, “I didn’t hear anything,” she said.

Meanwhile, Lindsay stated, “My mom’s career started in porn.”

Simon was red now, “Okay, well…. None of any of this happened and enjoy the rest of your tea party.” He got up and quickly left.

Lucy and Lindsay went back to the tea table. “Still hot!” Lindsay cheered, pouring them some from the pot. Hazel folded her arms, looking at Grace.

“It was a joke… You had to be there. Simon and I aren’t…”

“You’re doing SOMETHING. I can tell…” Hazel said, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Hazel, if something serious transpired between Simon and I, I would immediately talk to you about it, just like I did whenever he wanted us to start hanging out again. Okay?”

“Okay…”

Hazel went back to her tea party and the girls were giggling. She didn’t like whatever they were saying, but she eventually got over it. Whenever their parents stopped by, Grace did explain, “I’m really sorry, my friend and I were having an inside joke and the girls overheard something rather vulgar. I am willing to do whatever needs to be done if that affects her in some way. I just feel so bad that they overheard it.”

Lucy’s mom wondered what was said, so Grace said it very low to her and she looked scandalized, but she simply sucked it up and begged Grace to try to be more careful next time. Lucy’s father didn’t seem to even know what the words meant.

Lindsay’s mom didn’t ask, but Grace did say it on the low to her, and she laughed it off and said that Lindsay had unfortunately been picked on whenever someone at her old school realised that she was the daughter of Sommar Kittyn, so they had the talk with her when she was around 6, and the rest, the Internet fills in when nobody’s paying attention. Besides, her dad’s a rockstar… she absolutely had overheard her fair share of inappropriate things from their friends. She even gave Grace a no worries hug to accentuate that it was okay.

When they were gone, Grace noticed that Hazel wasn’t with her (probably was too embarrassed to look at them at the moment), and whenever she went inside, Hazel and Simon were speaking quietly, but both shut up whenever they saw her. “Hey… so, I think it’s gonna be okay. Definitely with Lindsay’s folks… hopefully with Lucy’s too… Really sorry about that.”

“You and Simon have been seeing each other,” Hazel said. Simon lowered his head into his hands. “He accidentally told me, because he didn’t know that you’ve been lying to me.”

“I have not been lying and Simon and I are not seeing each other. That’s the thing of it, Hazel. Adults and children have differing ways of dealing with each other and maybe Simon just didn’t really understand the proper way to communicate to you what our friendship is, because there’s not really a child equivalent.”

“I’m not a baby, Grace,” Hazel said. “You two are doing stuff with each other, and that sounds serious to me, for you, somebody who is publicly an ace figure and only recently began to even consider the possibility of perhaps demi… You’re doing stuff… that means your demi is activated!”

“No. It doesn’t. It means my curiosity is activated and there is someone who I can explore that with.”

“You two were talking about babies earlier.”

“Hazel. It isn’t anything that needs to be shared, at this time. Just some musings, Baby…” Hazel got up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her and locking it. “Did she just?”

“She locked herself in,” Simon said. “I didn’t mean to make a problem. I misspoke.”

“How do you misspeak our situation to a child?”

“I certainly didn’t tell her that you’ve been training me to be an obedient partner.”

“That is not…”

“I only said that we were discussing having babies, but we’re not there in our arrangement yet… and she started trying to ask questions to understand better and all of the answers were accidentally more serious sounding than I meant to…” They spent hours outside of the door waiting (after at least half an hour trying to speak to Hazel about coming out). Eventually, she did and Grace was leaning onto Simon’s shoulder, but jumped up whenever Hazel came out. Simon quickly said, in a very stern tone, “Hazel, don’t do that again. You had your mother worried. She didn’t do anything wrong, and that’s unfair. If you try that again, I will remove the lock, do you understand?”

“Yes, Simon,” she said.

He sighed and gave her a hug. “You’re entitled to your privacy and your feelings. But, at least let us know that you’re okay. That you haven’t jumped out of the window or passed out or something.” She nodded. Simon left them alone.

“Hazel...:”

“I don’t feel like talking to you,” Hazel said. At least she was telling her the truth. Grace nodded and they left. Hazel didn’t say anything to her on the way back and Grace didn’t reach out or respond to Simon for days, which Hazel gradually came around to not being mad at her. Things came to a head when Grace was waiting outside of Hazel at school - in the New York November cold, mind you, and she was taking much longer than ever before. Grace consulted the calendar, to see if she somehow forgot that Hazel had tutoring or something. Eventually, she began to call her friends’ moms, to see if she had taken up shelter in one of their vehicles or something and just didn’t see Grace outside. Lindsay nor Lucy claimed to have seen her since school let out. She began to call even kids that she didn’t know as well - Todd, Alex, Louis… nobody knew where that girl was. She walked through the hallways and looked into classrooms, as she called Simon.

“Thank you for gracing me…”

“Have you talked to Hazel today?”

“No. Hazel’s pissed at me. We haven’t talked since tea party night…” Grace started crying. “Grace… what happened?”

“She’s missing! Or… hiding… I don’t know, but I’ve been waiting at her school for over an hour and I don’t see her anywhere!”

“Where is it? I’ll come help you…”

Grace was crying the entire time, pacing, tearing herself down and explaining to the staff, the security and the police how their schedule usually goes. Grace always either walks or drives Hazel to school. She parks in a certain place, stands in a certain place. She gave the time range that it usually takes, and explained why she “waited so long” to reach out - because she was confirming. Because Hazel doesn’t just wander off and she had no reason to suspect that she hadn’t mixed this up with math help day or something… They were acting like she had done something wrong and nobody was helping her find her child.

Eventually, Simon sat her down and offered, “I’ll speak with them, with your consent.”

She nodded her head, “I consent,” she barely choked the words out crying.

Simon began speaking as patiently as he could through his teeth, about how Hazel was in the care of the school until she walks out of the doors and that there’s staff everywhere and even cameras that they could possibly try to check to see if during the small window of time where she might have vanished, she was caught or seen. He didn’t want to bring it to threats, but he certainly would, if they made him.

After talking for a while, they seemed much more helpful with Simon and eventually advised them to go home and wait, make more calls, consider other familiar places that Hazel might have gone to, and contact them if they still hadn’t heard from her in 24 hours. Grace was a mess. She was crying and trembling. Simon took her home. She absentmindedly told him where it was, not worried about him not knowing, either out of the panic she was in over Hazel or having actually gotten comfortable with him over the past few months.

Whenever she came inside, she rushed through, calling Hazel’s name and looking for her. Hazel didn’t respond, but she found her on the bathroom floor and she collected her in her arms, “Hazel? Hazel??” She checked her for marks or bruises, or anything else… She saw none. Hazel was a turtle. Grace sobbed and collected her to herself. Her entire body was trembling, but Hazel was safe. She didn’t know how long it might take her to calm down.

“What’s happening?” Simon wondered. Grace shook her head. She hadn’t explained this to him before, and Hazel probably hadn’t either, because she didn’t like to tell people about it, and it hadn’t happened in a little while. Grace eventually calmed down and Simon remained in the doorway, watching, waiting.

Hazel’s eyes blinked and she looked at Grace and immediately began crying, “Are you going to give me back now? Now that I’m difficult again?” Grace burst into tears and she picked Hazel up and carried her into her bedroom, set her in the bed and cried more. Simon simply watched. “That’s what happens. First they find more important things. Then, they start to find other people or focus on other people. Then, they wait for me to mess up and they send me back.”

“There’s nowhere to send you back to! THIS is your home!” Grace said. She stood up and asked, “Did… Did you do this on purpose, to scare me, Hazel? Because, that is NOT okay! That’s not how we handle being mad at people. I thought you were gone. I thought somebody took you from me or worse! Don’t you EVER do something like that to me on purpose, EVER again!” She stormed out of the room and Hazel could hear her wailing as she made her way into the bathroom to collect herself.

Hazel started crying. She wasn’t used to Grace fussing at her. To her, that was even more of a sign of what would happen. Grace was gonna give her up. They always gave her up after a while. She had tested to see if Grace cared. She dodged her, made her way back home on her own, but while waiting for her to get home, she panicked. She became a turtle. And now, Grace was mad at her. Maybe, that was an excuse. Maybe Grace was waiting for this, so she and Simon could be together without her. Why else would she have hidden that they had been secretly seeing each other ever since her birthday?

Grace came back into the room, more calm now, and she sat on the bed. Simon was still simply there.

“Hazel, I need for you to understand how serious what happened today was, okay? One reason it is important to me not to ever leave you alone is because unlike where I grew up, kids go missing here so much more, and when they do… it is usually bad. Someone takes them and makes them a prisoner or uses them for bad things. Sometimes, they die. We live in a good neighborhood, but you wandering off by yourself, I imagined that you could’ve easily wound up in the wrong place, or ran into the wrong person. I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to you and for you to try to scare me into thinking about that is very hurtful, Hazel. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about me and Simon. I thought it was easier to not say anything and get your hopes up, because I know that you really like him and I haven’t been sure that I like him enough for him to be that kind of presence in our life. So, I didn’t tell you. You can be mad at me. Tell me, give me the silent treatment, whatever makes you feel better about me hurting you. But, it is not decent to hurt me by making me scared for your life.”

“I didn’t think about it that way. I’m sorry!” Hazel said, crying. Grace bit her lip and collected her to herself. Hazel cried against her. “I thought you were getting tired of me…”

“No, no… no… never. I’m hurt and I was scared, but I could never get tired of you, Hazel. Tired of life, maybe, and if I do, guess what? I’ll give up something else. Never you. Never ever you.” Simon finally started to feel intrusive and he slid out of the room and made his way out of her front door. They were okay, now. They didn’t need him. He was getting ready to get into his car whenever he heard his name. Simon turned and Grace was running from the townhouse to him. She threw her arms tightly around him and he hesitated before sinking into the hug. “Thank you… for being here for me.”

“I’m always going to be,” he said. He pulled away and looked at her. She still looked shaken up. “You need me to stick around a little longer?”

“I’m really still pretty shaken up. I can’t explain it. I know that she’s safe, but the after effects, especially not having had one of these episodes in a while… Do you want to stick around and help me with kid and turtle meal preps?"

"You got a turtle?"

"Hazel. Her psychosis... she sometimes thinks she transforms into a life sized turtle. I like to be sure to have some people safe turtle food so that she doesn't go out and eat bugs and grass like she did at her first home."

He was in awe. She blushed and shrugged her shoulders, "Her parents couldn't handle how she was. They dropped her off at an institution, and whenever she seemed okay, she was taken to a foster home. They tried for a short time and brought her right back. That’s what she was talking about in there… Everybody she wanted to trust - They locked her up. She didn't need to be locked up, she needed to be loved."

"Are you projecting?" He asked, trying to ease her nerves a little. She was still shaken up as they headed back across the street.

"Absolutely not. I definitely needed to be locked up."

"Maybe I did too."

"Well you know you could always go ask them to hold you and they'll let you know in 72 hours if you in fact, do. I'll be here for you, either way. You’ve been really trying and I don’t think that I realized just how much until I needed you today and you came through like..." Simon leaned towards her mouth, tempted to kiss her on the lips. She hadn’t kissed him on the lips. It was something that he wanted, but never attempted, as he was generally terrified that she would shut down and go home. He knew where home was now and she was asking him to stay a while. It was as good a time to press his luck as any… and Grace leaned into it. “I consent,” she whispered, letting him fills the space after that confirmation.

"Well, that was a friendship kiss."

"Very platonic affection," and they kissed again… “We’ll tell Hazel tomorrow…”

#If They Didn't Get on the Train #AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics

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