#chuuya dazai incorrect quotes

[daimadiamante]

Chuuya: I think I’m coming down with something, I’ve been feeling nauseous lately Dazai: Maybe you’re pregnant Chuuya: Dazai: Chuuya: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot right now, you because you suggested it, or me, because I just had a heart attack

[flamie-42]

Fukuzawa: Dazai I am scared to ask but why are you late today?

Dazai: I had take care of my dog

Atsushi: I didn’t know you had a dog Dazai

Dazai: yeah I just adopted him recently

Kunikida: I’m proud that your taking on more responsibility in your life

Naomi: can I dog sit sometime?!

Dazai: I don’t know, he doesn’t really like people, I’m trying to train him out of it but he is really stubborn

Naomi: awww

Ranpo: Dazai stop referring to Nakahara as your dog, you live at his house

[need-a-name-101]

Dazai: Chuuya I swear on my life-

Chuuya: “I swear on my life” Bitch you’re suicidal swear on something else.

[i-eat-mold]

[exymybeloved]

Dazai: You’ll always be mine, chuuya?

Chuuya: ???

Dazai: *reaching into his pocket*

Chuuya: Wait are you fucking proposing??

Dazai: *pulling out a knife* What? Of course not

Chuuya: Then what the fuck are you doing?

Dazai: Blood oath

Chuuya:

Chuuya: Yeah okay

[mackerel22]

Dazai: I’m in love with you.

Chuuya, scoffing: Yeah, how many others have you said that to?

Dazai: Everyone.

Chuuya: …What?

Dazai: I told everyone I’m in love with you.

[lowlightsahead]

Dazai: We can no longer mansplain, manipulate or manwhore our way out of this.

Chuuya, getting his bullets ready: Manslaughter, it is

[dazaiskinnie]

Dazai: Truth or dare?

Chuuya: Truth

Dazai, smirking: I dare you to make out with me

Chuuya, climbing into Dazai's lap: You best believe I'm not here to lose.

Atsushi: …

Atsushi: He didn't even choose dare

[radvelvetcakez]

Dazai: Oh, hey, Chuuya. We really need to stop meeting like this. Chuuya: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

[chuuyaxsupremacy9]

Dazai: good morning, chibi! You look beautiful today

Chuuya, blushing: wha—

Dazai: April fools!

Chuuya:...oh...

Dazai, panicking: you look beautiful everyday

Chuuya: ...OH—

[incorrectsoukokuquotes]

Dazai: Do you think it's too late for us to get romantically involved? Chuuya, holding a gun: I think a little.

[daimadiamante]

Chuuya, drunk: I’m in love with Dazai Osamu Chuuya, drunk: Like he’s just so cute, and amazing, and kind, and funny Chuuya, drunk: But you won’t tell him right? Dazai, who is carrying him home: ……I swear I won’t.

[flamie-42]

15!Dazai: when i grow up Chuuya will be my wife

15!Chuuya: the fuck are you talking about?

15!Dazai: *tears in eyes* Chuuya doesn’t want to marry me?

15!Chuuya: if we are getting married you’ll be the wife

15!Dazai: *sniffles* if that’s why it will take to marry Chuuya

15!Chuuya: IT WAS A JOKE! IM NOT MARRYING YOU

15!Dazai: nope you said it. No takesies backsies

[need-a-name-101]

At a line in a cafe…

Dazai, walks up to Kunikida and holds his hand: this line is crazy.

Kunikida: Dazai..?

Dazai, looks at Kunikida: you’re not Chuuya.

Chuuya: you’re holding the wrong hand, Mackerel

Dazai: are you sure?

Both Kunikida and Chuuya nod

Dazai: I am feeling compelled to finish this experience with you.

Kunikida: I am not paying for that.

Dazai: nevermind, I am going back to Chibi.

Chuuya: I am not paying for that either

Atsushi, at the start of the line: come hold my hand, I’ll buy for you.

Dazai, goes and holds Atsushi’s hand: at least someone cares about me.

[this-is-krikkit]

therapist: so, what is dazai to you? chuuya: the reason i wake up every morning therapist: ... that’s adorable. dazai earlier that morning, barging into chuuya′s room while smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!!

[exymybeloved]

Chuuya: Atsushi kissed you?

Akutagawa: *staring woefully out of his window*

Chuuya: and you said thank you…?

Akutagwa: yeah

Chuuya: Oh, cool

———— meanwhile ————

Atsushi: thank you?!?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Dazai: he’s stupid Atsushi you know that