#conditional empathy

[no-empathy-culture-is]

conditional(?) empathy/sympathy culture is feeling absolutely nothing when one of your friends tells you about some horrid stuff that happened to them but somehow almost crying because your chickens might be spending the night in the rain after the coop door swung shut and you couldnt get them in on your own

conditional empathy + sympathy culture is

[catgirl-catboy]

I'm taking away the word empathy from the NTs until they discover it isn't a synonym for "giving a shit about people"

[ivibells]

maybe i'm swinging a bat at a hornet's nest here but as an aroace person, i think it's kind of messed up to say that levi is canonically aroace now

yes, he said that he doesn't care about people and that concepts like empathy, compassion, and love are unfamiliar to him. but attraction is not the same as any of those words. i get that people may want to headcanon him as aroace (especially since we don't get a whole lot of representation in the first place), but to insist that it's canon feeds into stereotypes about people with low empathy and aroace people alike

[eclaire-went-bam]

i'm annoyed at how much the left values empathy specifically. you can do good things without having empathy, empathy is not an inherently good quality, and lacking it isn't inherently bad. i hate seeing lefties dunk on someone for "having no empathy," which may or may not be true, but considering how many people preach empathy as an inherent trait of the left & "goodness" is irksome. just dunk on someone for the bad actions they have done, it's not hard.

i know it's a good look to be empathetic, but it really does feel like the end-all-be-all here.

i can still have good politics and want better for people & the world without necessary having empathy for these things. i can still be passionate about certain issues just from a factual standpoint, i can still listen to people affected by them, without necessarily feeling empathy for those most affected by them.

it's just like that one tumblr posts where a user pointed out "yes, even free healthcare to annoying ppl like those who went blind at the nft convention" ;;

i doubt many people are empathetic towards them, but we still acknowledge they should benefit. generally speaking we're trying to benefit even those opposed to us with stuff like free housing & healthcare. those are our politics & beliefs, and they don't suddenly "turn off" when you seee someone you don't like. or, they shouldn't. i can hate someone & still believe they deserve the same rights as me. i could not care if someone died, & yet still believe they should at least be able to keep themselves alive with a minimum wage job

frankly, to suddenly change your beliefs on some specific cases bcs you don't like them specifically is fickle, just like how the left is all restorative justice, until it comes to a specific person or crime that is too far, then it's "maybe we should give the state the right to execute people !"

so it does baffle me why so many people here value empathy like it's an inherent trait in the left, or that those opposed to the left are incapable of empathy & therefore evil & demonic.

empathy can ignite action in most people who have the ability to experience it. but that doesn't mean only those people are or do good, and the language the left uses is real isolating for that.

[transrevolutions]

disappointed but not surprised at the number of posts saying snow's moral depravity is because of his apparent low empathy and not because he. yknow. supports and upholds a fucking fascist regime.

[imagionationstation]

So today I was told a story about an ex-husband who has OCD and it is focused on his ex-wife. He’s constantly dropping by the house, driving near the house, mowing her lawn, and other random things because he compulsively needs to be around her. The ex-wife lets him because she feels sorry for him. She’s not at risk in any way and he has no ill will to her in the slightest. He’s OCD and she gets that.

This is just how they live.

Because it doesn’t have to be creepy. Because sometimes people can’t help a mental illness. Because OCD is real and hard to handle.

Now imagine if you were never diagnosed with OCD. Imagine if you spent your entire life not learning obvious social cues. And then one day, your compulsions locked onto an unsuspecting person.

Sure, people mention how weird it is, but you’ve always been weird in other people’s eyes. Your brothers have always made snide comments about your habits and hobbies. It’s not like you’re hurting her. She might need help. Or want to talk. You need to check on her. Find out what she’s doing. You just need to. This is the last time. The final visit. Just one more time. Just one more time. Just one mo-

[vickyvicarious]

I shall try to cheer up when Arthur comes, or else I know he will be miserable to see me so.

A very sad contrast to the Harkers' beautiful communication. Particularly, to Jonathan's frank admission to Mina about his condition. He tells her that he has been mad and is uncertain about what, if anything, was real or simply dreaming.

Lucy has also been having horrible dreams. She's also feeling weak and in pain, and unaware of what the true cause is. But she tries to push through it, to downplay it, to put on a happy face so as not to upset Arthur.

[cryobabyy]

it’s all so speculative and we’ll likely never fully knowwww (which is fun) BUT what do you think cooper and rachels relationship was actually like? do you think he genuinely loved her and wooed her? do you think he ever did? the wedding photo we see is so cute and i do genuinely believe he loved those kids so it can be done!!

Tbh I think that he was a great husband. My boy is a PERFORMER, he takes out the garbage, handles dinner Wednesday-Friday, he’s present with his children, he’s extremely neat and cleans on Saturday mornings, mows the lawn, you don’t have to ask him to do shit twice, king of back shots, and he probably eats box like a champ! If he does everything perfectly, he raises the least suspicion because no one suspects the perfect husband/father.

I think where he fucked up was assuming there is such a thing as a perfect performance and that it could make up for any minor missteps. Because at some point, the mask might slip, and no amount of good husbandry excuses the fact you’re working strange and late hours, smell like hospital cleaner, and actually fr murder people lol.

As for if he actually loved her; realistically speaking, technically yes. Psychopaths are capable of ‘loving’ things in their own way, but it’s fundamentally different than what a neurotypical person would consider love. He probably loved her in the way you would love a favorite sweater—once it gets worn out and isn’t useful to you anymore, you discard it because it’s an inanimate object you don’t have actual empathy for. He definitely loved Rachel as a tool. She gave him children, made him look more outwardly normal, he could easily control and manipulate her. But once she became useless to him and his pursuits, he had no problem killing her.

[puerileaccismus]

Empathy means the ablity to feel someone else's emotions. It doesn't dictate wether or not someone is a good person.

Lacking empathy doesn't mean someone doesn't care or is unkind.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[jingerpi]

to be clear to my Marxist followers, while I stand by the quotes in my pinned, do not worry I am not out here judging people for if they have enough "love". correct understanding of the world comes first always, they're mostly there to calm the scared liberals and also express that despite not being concerned with bourgeois morality, Marxism is still an ideology that can be filled with love and wonderful things.

Marxism has a bit of a reputation for being the brutal man ideology (anti communism woo) and I want to fight against that a bit, because I do genuinely think it is deeply compatible with compassion and care, as one of it's central truths is the unity of our class in a collective struggle... its just not that compassion and care is what makes Marxism correct, and it's not bad (perhaps even good) if you're a Marxist because it makes scientific sense and you're not all lovecoded hippie posting, that's totally fine (Marxism primarily informs my love, not vice versa)

I'm a bit of a weird one with how I see emotions as informed by social positions and as such I see love as deeply related to solidarity and class struggle, but I do also understand emotions are fickle and may not correctly line up with class interests for everyone for example. I do actually think emotions can be correct or incorrect in a way, like pretty much anything else, it's just quite a bit more complex to understand them than other things, they function as guidelines and it's important to work to have those guidelines be actually helpful and correct, but that's a whole different conversation with a lot of difficulties and nuances, so I'll leave it here for now.

[no-empathy-culture-is]

alexithymic conditional empathy culture is having no fuckin clue if the Vague Emotion im feeling is from me or someone else, or what to do with it

alexithymic conditional empathy culture is

[sarafangirlart]

Y’all don’t find it suspicious that sympathetic depictions of Medusa always portray her as normal and beautiful? You’d never see anyone depict the ugly archaic Medusa as an innocent victim who deserves our empathy…. Smells like pretty privilege.

[waitingforsecretsouls]

Guys, idk about anyone else but I'm starting to suspect the reason why Zahard was angry at Arlene and his motivations as a character might be a bit more layered than simply having his proposal rejected...🤔 Almost like his choices might be based on his ideals and not simply love triangle drama and the greatest war in the history of the Tower, kickstarted by V and Arlene, might have tarnished his proudest accomplishment and goal.

[whump-about-it]

Someone You Deserve

@whumpril Day 9: Self Doubt

CW: angst, empathy fatigue, conditioned whumpee

Whumpee was already asleep when Caretaker got home from work. Curled up on the couch in a nest of blankets and pillows and a tear stained face as they snored softly in contest with the low drone of the tv show they'd fallen asleep watching. They had a bed, but they preferred to sleep anywhere else. Too comfortable they had told Caretaker, I don't deserve it.

Caretaker sighed and took their shoes off quietly, so as not to disturb Whumpee's slumber. If they woke up they would be a mess of apologies for not being awake to greet Caretaker at the door, and Caretaker wasn't in the mood to talk them off another metaphorical ledge tonight. Anyway, Whumpee almost never slept this soundly.

A cold meal Caretaker had asked Whumpee not to make sat on the kitchen table. Caretaker realized with a pang that they had forgotten to tell Whumpee they would be home late tonight. No wonder they were on the couch. No wonder their face was tear streaked and splotchy from crying themselves to sleep.

Caretaker slumped in a kitchen chair and put their head in their hands. How could I be so stupid? They shivered at the thought of Whumpee cooking for them, cleaning, getting ready for the two of them to eat together once Caretaker had gotten home. Had they been excited? Did they hum to themselves as they cut the carrots? Dance around the kitchen while they waited for the oven to preheat? How long had they waited before they realized Caretaker wasn't coming home? Had their food gone cold too? Had they cried at the kitchen table? Wondering if it was something they had done that was keeping Caretaker away?

After a minute Caretaker stood up and went back to the living room, intending to wake Whumpee up and apologize, but they paused in the doorway realizing they didn't even know what they wanted to apologize for. Coming home late? Forgetting to call? For being the worst possible person for Whumpee to rely on?

The doctors had said that it wouldn't be easy. Whumpee's recovery would be slow, and Caretaker needed to have patience, for both of them. But this couldn't have been what they meant. It had been months and Whumpee had barely made any progress. They still rarely spoke if not asked to. They jumped at the slightest moves. And had even called Caretaker "Master" a few times, which made Caretaker's blood run cold just to think about.

Surely Whumpee deserved better than this. Caretaker was falling woefully short of providing what Whumpee needed and they were so far behind they didn't even know what they were doing wrong. Apologizing wasn't going to solve any of that.

Caretaker sighed again and turned back into the kitchen. Tears pricking at their eyes from their anger about their own woeful inadequacy at caring for their friend. They were exhausted, and in a bad mood. It was probably best that Whumpee didn't see them like this. Instead Caretaker scrapped their cold meal into the trash and poured a glass of water, bringing it into the living room and placing it on the coffee table in front of Whumpee as a peace offering for when they woke up. Finally Caretaker placed a small kiss on the top of Whumpee's head before going to their own bedroom, resolving to call in sick tomorrow and spending the day trying to be the person Whumpee deserved.

[starjunkyard]

How can people say that house doesn't care when that's what his entire character is built around!!!! Not letting himself get close to people because he cares about them too much to let them fall into his self-destructive spirals and habits!!!!! </3 !!!! ! !

He's an asshole!! a miserable piece of shit bastard but he does care!! he does love!!!!

Why else would he spend an entire episode worrying himself sick asking all of his friends about the right thing to say to an SA victim!!!!!! Why else would he not visit patients!! Why else would he metaphorically kill himself for wilson!!!!!!!!

The way he loves is so unhealthy and fucked up and not good for everyone involved but he does care!!!!!!!! He does care and he does have empathy!!! Ok!!!!!!!!!