#conversation hacks

[untypicable]

The Agonising Art of Forgetting Names: A Survival Guide

Some people have a superhuman ability to remember names. They meet you once at a networking event, and three years later, they greet you with a warm, “Hey, AJ! How’s your dog, Merlin?” Meanwhile, you’re standing there in a cold sweat, frantically searching the dark corners of your brain for anything—anything—about this person beyond vague familiarity. You know the face… your really do, but the…

[jacky93sims]

Bedroom Set Bench, Laptop, Tiger Table and Heart Pedestal - for The Sims 2

These are 4to2 conversions from Mechtasims, Clutter Cat and Hydrangea, low poly. The laptot is functional and there is also a Monique Hacked version (choose only one).

DOWNLOAD HERE

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If you want to support my creations, you can send me a donation with Paypal or Ko-fi ☕ If you want to ask for a Paid Commission, HERE you can find more details. Thank you ❤️

[bonjourxrenae]

I love the "Ryou pining for an oblivious Yugi" brand of Heartshipping a lot, but I think it’s time for me to write my personal favorite spin:

"Space cadet Ryou beginning to realize he likes Yugi and is unsure of how to proceed with those feelings, while Yugi has been EMBARRASSINGLY PINING FOR HIM EVER SINCE HE TRANSFERRED IN AND HAS BEEN DESPERATELY WAITING FOR HIM TO NOTICE"

[kaiserposting]

Theyre trying to blame us x reader writers as a whole for tiktok post-quarantine teenager brain rot spreading to tumblr/fandom again . But I don't let it get to me

[blujaydoodles]

gotta admit, she wasn't expecting that 🥰

[anniemunchkins]

"You're pushing me away because you're afraid."

[havenshereagain]

Another week, another WIP Wednesday! Still working on my de-aged Tim fic, but I also have a fic that i banged out over 3k in two days? So there's a snippet of that as well (that fic's premise is most of the family finding out for the first time that Tim is immunocompromised, currently titled Tim's Spleen)

De-aged Tim

That seemed to do the trick because Tim nodded, though his eyes went distant in thought. The kid probably had a thousand questions, and was trying to figure out what order to ask them in. "Did my parents die?" he finally asked, and Jason's jaw dropped a bit. He then explained his thinking, "I mean, earlier you seemed surprised by the fact my parents went on trips a lot and I don't think my parents would stop traveling unless they had to, so either the company went under or they died. And I'm staying here, and Dick said it was my room not a guest room or something, so I probably live here, or at least did for a bit. The room seemed a little too clean for me to have been living here, but I'm an adult now, right? So I probably moved out, but I definitely did live here based on the pictures and stuff in the room. My parents dying is the only way it makes sense to me." Jason's jaw was just about on the floor from the kid's deductive reasoning.

Tim's Spleen

Tim's grip on the handlebars tightened again. "I knew it was serious," he murmured. Losing an organ, especially one vital to the immune system, was a big deal for a vigilante. It was important that his doctors and team know. "I've spoken with Leslie and Alfred about it. I just assumed at least Bruce and Dick had read the report."

Barbara sighed, and Tim could just imagine her pushing her glasses up to rub her face. "Dick's always been awful about reading reports," she said after a moment. Neither of them said anything about Bruce. What was there to say? The man was usually diligent about reports, this was an anomaly.

[buckevantommy]

tommy being attentive af when buck gets in factoid mode is soooo special to me. adhd boy is excited to learn! but also to share what he's learned - and with the people he cares about or is getting to know, it's a way of letting himself be known and to (hopefully) connect with them in a fun way; it's like a test, seeing who not only acknowledges buck's fun facts but responds to them and moreover engages in conversation about them. buck deserves a partner who's interested in what he has to say (even if they're not as enthralled by the fun facts themselves they're still actively listening to buck ramble bc they want to know him and spend time with him but they also find it endearing af). tommy pays attention, he engages, he's interested, he's so fond of the way buck's mind works and smitten with the way he lights up when he's sharing and responding to being heard. with tommy, buck feels seen and he feels like he can just be his earnest self - fun facts included - and his company will be enough.

[hillbillyoracle]

How to Have Better Conversations

I���m writing this at the request of my partner. She shared she’s really been struggling with making conversation more than usual lately. I shared some thoughts on how I navigate conversations she found useful and asked if I’d be willing to make a resource or write more about it. This is not meant to be a definitive expert guide, it’s built from my observations and experiences as someone who is autistic and has to navigate a lot of social situations completely manually. This is how I break down the individual components of conversation.

When I spelled this all out, one of her takeaways was that conversations actually involve a lot of microdecisions and that’s why they can be so tiring. And I think that’s totally correct. But I think it’s also why some people can thrive with them because it’s actually a lot of difficult decisions that are tricky to pull off well so when you can and do, there’s a real sense of accomplishment that can make talking more appealing.

I have a feeling this post will be overcomplicated and convoluted to a lot of folks but maybe there’s a handful of folks for whom it is helpful. Take what works, leave the rest. Summary at the end.

Types of Conversation

Topics of conversation are decently important in my experience. They ultimately let you know where the conversation will go - whether it’s likely to end in a dead end, what sorts of things it will allow you to learn about the person you’re discussing with. In my experience, just about all conversation topics fall into one of four camps.

While I talk about Best Use and Don’t Use here - most conversation in the following topics will fall somewhere in-between. They’re just sign posts, not rules.

Me

The focus is on you. Me topics are ultimately about telling a story about yourself with some amount of conscious intent.

Best Use

The best use of this is setting expectations and conveying preferences. This allows your talking about yourself to serve a purpose that ultimately assists the other person in knowing how to understand and interact with you best without necessarily demanding certain treatment front. They might change or not change how they interact with you and this can show how responsive you might expect them to be.

Examples:

“I’m a writer so I don’t work 9-5. If I reply at odd times, that’s probably what’s going on.”

“One of my favorite ways to get to know someone is to grab a hot drink and go for a walk with them.”

Don’t Use

The worst use of this is look a certain way - knowledgeable, impressive, interesting. Basically any use rooted in getting another person to like you. Genuine connection doesn’t start from a place of elevating one person over another. Plus honestly 90% of people just do not care about why you think you’re interesting, important, etc and hate feeling pressured to validate you.

Examples:

“My boss was even stumped by the issue but I figured it out on my own.”

“All my friends say I’m the best at baking.”

“I keep a bunch of tools in my car, I’m ready to fix anything anywhere.”

You

The focus is on the other person. You topics are ultimately about letting the other person share the story of themselves.

Best Use

The best use of You topics is to better understand how a person understands themselves. Open ended questions that invite them to show their thinking as well and shows you how they reason. The common acronym FORD (family, occupation/occupy time, recreation, dreams) is a decent

Example:

“So how did you find yourself in this city? What was that journey like?”

“Why did you take up [your hobby]? What drew you to it?”

Don’t Use

Don’t use you topics to actively try to find fault with someone else. It’s great to have standards and hard no’s for your friendships and relationships. But poking around for them upfront can alienate people who you’d otherwise like - suspicion is not a desirable quality in a friend or potential partner. Ultimately you have to let a person show you who they are and make a personal call. There’s no short cut.

Example:

“So why did you and your ex break up?”

“So you get angry easily then?”

Both

The focus is on a shared expertise/language, not on the story of either of you.

Best Use

The best use of both topics is to notice things about them they wouldn’t think to explicitly share necessarily and to connect in a way that only people with your shared interest or expertise allows.

Example:

My partner and I both have a background in academic medical research. However when we talk about it, it becomes apparent that my focus is on the practical and researcher side and hers is on the data and compliance side. It’s interesting to note where our similar interests compliment and diverge.

Don’t Use

Don’t use both topics to try one up or show you know more than the other person. The minute you do that the shared aspect - and therefore connection - is gone.

Example:

I once went on a date with a man who spent a half hour explaining how GIS systems work in a very “look at me” way after I mentioned I had used them when I was studying forestry in college. It was boring as hell.

Neither

The focus is on a topic without a shared expertise/language, not on the story of either of you.

Best Use

The best use of neither topics is a shared exploration/experience. One person will usually know a little more about a topic than the other person. The person who knows less benefits by learning about a topic they’re curious about. Their questions and observations invite the other to think about this topic in a new light so the experience winds up being somewhat shared.

Examples:

A woman in line at Lowes let me know I could overwinter mums in this area. I proceeded to ask her about how she’d taken such good care of hers and whether the effortwas worth it. She thoughtfully answered my questions and I learned a lot.

I mentioned to my partner a personal project I’m considering undertaking. She asks about my motivations for it and in doing so I have to further clarify them. She learned a little about what my project was about and I learned what I was really after, seeing it fresh.

Don’t Use

Don’t use neither topics to soapbox about things that are of solely personal interest. If someone makes it clear they’re not interested pivot to something more interesting. Even neither topics require at least a little bit of common ground.

Examples:

I regularly talk about group hypocrisies I’m trying to make sense of before realizing that people outside of that group don’t really care.

Ideal Ratio

In general, in reflecting on my own conversations, I think a ratio where more than half the conversation is on either both or neither topics are the most rewarding. It’s where neither party walks away feeling like they talked too much about themselves and when meaningful and interesting topics still have been discussed.

I think it’s a common mistake to try to get the conversation to be 50% you, 50% me. That’s where conversations feel like a job interview and get exhausting real quick. They also have an appearance of depth as people disclose more to keep the conversation going but with out a feeling of connection after because little time is spent on exploration and shared experience.

How to Respond

So knowing what topic you’re currently or want to talk about is one part of this, but the other is choosing a response. I generally let the other person’s response dictate some measure of my response.

Pivot

If someone seems negatively engaged - leaning back, looking around a lot, arms crossed, giving short answers - I pivot to a neutral topic. I find neutral topics work best because the focus is not on either of you - they don’t feel like they’re under pressure to disclose or act interested in you. Neutral topics also allow them to lead the pace - asking questions and making observations at the level they feel comfortable. If they continually seem negatively engaged, it’s usually best to bail from the conversation, especially if asking questions about the dynamic itself seems like it might not be welcome.

Matching

If someone seems neutrally engaged - mostly looking in your direction, not leaning toward or away, giving input on what you’re saying - I match and continue with the topic.

FOOL

Being a little like the Fool in the Major Arcana is actually a great way to be a good conversationalist - genuine, curious, brave, and receptive. Bellow are some concrete ways how.

Follow up questions - Good follow up questions come from a genuine place of curiousity. They also tend to either fill in gaps in your own understanding or encourage the speaker expand the discussion into a new but related area.

Observation - Observations on the topic itself are great but not your only option. You can oberve how a person seemed to feel when talking about the topic. You can observe that they’d touched on a related topic before. Comparison is a fruitful ground for observations as well - “That’s similar to…” and ”That’s very different than….”

Opinion - Offering an opinion or requesting their opinion is a good way to keep a conversation going. In general, it’s best to avoid generalizations, soften them a little to start with, and make sure there is some measure of compassion in the opinion you’re sharing. Rigidity leaves little room for discussion and exploration.

Levity - Where appropriate, make a joke, share a meme, craft a pun, tease them a little. Laughter is a shared experience that connects us.

Building

If someone seems positively engaged - leaning forward, making eye contact, coming closer to you for neurotypical people and actively engaging with the content of what you’re saying regardless of stims or eye contact for neurodivergent folks - I build on what we’re talking about. I self disclose my feelings and personal connections to the topic one step further than what the person I’m talking with has.

It’s important not to disclose a lot more than the person you’re talking with has. It leads to a vulnerability hangover for you and can be quite awkward and uncomfortable for them. If you disclose just a little more than the person you’re chatting with, then it’s much more easy to recover and match their level if they seem uncomfortable with what you shared.

Decision Tree

“What topic are we talking about currently?”

Me - Set expectations, share preferences; you focused

You - Understand you as you understand yourself; other person focused

Both - Connect over a shared language; idea focused

Neither - Connect over a shared exploration; idea focused

“What cues am I getting from the other person?”

If positive, build on current topic - be vulnerable

If neutral, match on current topic - be a FOOL*

If negative, pivot to a different topic - preferably neutral or in ratio**

*FOOL

Follow up questions - genuine curiousity - “I wonder…”

Observe - conversation, feelings, topic - “I noticed…”

Opinion - cautious, concise, compassionate - “I’ve often thought…”

Levity - make jokes, share memes - laughter connects

**Ratio

51% Both/Neither

<49% Me/You

[beevean]

Look at this and try not to burst a few brain cells

I'm not even defending LoS btw, as far as I'm concerned Deats' assertion of it is not completely wrong, but to use it to prop up the show yeah no, this shit is only superficially faithful

A dear mutual of mine is going to fly into a rage at the dismissing of LoS... I'm so sorry.

Actually, you know what? Bold of Deats to dismiss LoS to prop up his pet project, when they took a lot of inspiration from it.

The Belmont crest? From LoS.

White wolf Alucard? From LoS.

Big tiddied Alucard? From LoS.

Tragic sympathetic Dracula? From LoS.

Carmilla as an important antagonist against Dracula? From LoS.

That's just on the top of my head. I don't know enough about those games, but I see a pattern of stealing ideas from a series that then gets mocked for not being faithful enough. Ungrateful ass. Do you want me to elencate all the ways NFCV spits on canon? I have a masterlist and I am not afraid of using it.

"the changes that were made all make total sense when you look back at the old NES game" SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP WITH THIS IDEA THAT CV3 WAS SO SHALLOW YOU JUST HAD TO CHANGE IT FROM THE ROOTS WHY BOTHER ADAPTING SOMETHING YOU FIND SO INADEQUATE HUH???? TO REAP THE PRAISE THAT YOU IMPROVED IT SO MUCH?????

ALSO WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE FOR CURSE OF DARKNESS???? THAT IS A FULL PS2 GAMES WITH CUTSCENES, PLOT, AND EVEN TWO MANGA PREQUELS!!! OH, THAT ONE IS BAAAAD, ISN'T IT??? BECAUSE WHAT Y'ALL DID TO IT IS SUUUUUUCH AN IMPROVEMENT, WITH REDEMPTIONS SPRUNG UP YOUR ASS AND ABUSE APOLOGISM!!!!

spinning. spinning hand me the gun.

[jacky93sims]

Kawaii Rugs, Leo Peri Tablet and Aura Crib - for The Sims 2

These are 4to2 conversions from Hydrangea, Xynoah, Leosim and Nynaeve Design, low poly. All recolors. Tablet has also a Monique Hacked version (choose only one). Rugs are big.

DOWNLOAD HERE

-------------------------

If you want to support my creations, you can send me a donation with Paypal or Ko-fi ☕ If you want to ask for a Paid Commission, HERE you can find more details. Thank you ❤️

[thatsbelievable]

[theunstablejester]

Listen, I will never go on a: "I knew all along, my gut told me." cuz that's stupid and self congratulatory in a stupid way especially when it comes to somebody coming as an abuser and people having to reanalyze their works and their connections with them BUT I will say that time and time again people have said how Gaiman constantly time and time again used rape and abuse on his works in fetishistic ways that people were always so quickly to defend as them being empathic.

I am not shaming anybody, I am not even saying: "Oh, the evidence was always there!" But I do want to point out how so many people were so happy to turn around at critiques from women, especially trans women, about Neil Gaiman's writing of them in his works.

[aherodias]

i made a friend on my walk home today :) sometimes human connection is real

[willowser]

willow your text with bakugou hc is so accurate but now im just wondering how he is when you send pictures of yourself lol

you: hi :) (pic of pretty face reader)

bakugou: thumbs up

he’s so 😭😭😭 he loves your face TRULY but it would make you crazy

LMAOO i know 😭😭 he's so RIDICULOUS like i think you send him a cute selfie and his tummy gets tight and his face gets hot and he stares at it for a long time, but he just responds with "how are you?" LMAOOOOO i think he'd be the absolute WORST at snapchat too, like. he's sending you pictures from angles like

or if he DOES try it's like

DARK AS HELL CANT SEE A THING LOL he's TERRIBLE at it sigheisndjskqk

[anniemunchkins]

"I was thinking about what you said last night"

Translation: I was thinking about you telling me how exploring your sexuality is a choice.

"I'm eating at the buffet"

Translation: I flirted with a woman last night so apparently I swing both ways now.

I've cracked the code.