#cosmic fiasco

[fedoraspooky]

Weird scene from a weird dream

[cryptidsofwakemoor]

Chapter 1 - First Sighting

Story starts here! Freshly escaped from Aria Labs, an experimental bioweapon seeks shelter in a quiet seaside town...

~*~

Spooky

Project Matchstick’s heart drummed rapidly against his ribcage as his feet pounded against the grass and dirt below. The uneven ground was completely alien to him, a far cry from more familiar smooth, sterile tile flooring. No, there were obstacles here- rocks, twigs, branches that whipped past and scratched him, bushes that threatened to trip him up... The uneven ground was only one obstacle of many. But he had to get through them, because what he left behind him was far more terrifying than the unknown he was running blindly into.

He had no idea how long he'd been running, but it somehow felt simultaneously like five minutes and an eternity. He was no longer on fire, but he had to have been leaving some kind of trail of smoke and soot regardless, his frenzied breaths puffing out of his mouth in the form of dark clouds.

Everything hurt.

He may have been built for strength and endurance, but he still had limits... and he'd probably hit his a while ago, running purely on adrenaline ever since. The trees and grass were blurring together, and his head was starting to feel like it was floating... A sudden pain of his foot catching on something startled him back to alertness, but by that point it was too late for him to do anything as he was sent tumbling down a hill.

Any bearings he had were completely lost as a moment of weightlessness ended abruptly, the world turning over and over as the ground battered him from all directions. It mercifully stopped as he finally landed with a loud WHUMP in a ditch below. He just... laid there for a bit, stunned and desperately trying to catch his breath. Having been forced to stop, any attempt to get himself to move again was a LOT more difficult... Alarm bells were still blaring in the back of his mind, but his body was absolutely fed up with cooperating by this point.

He was in that ditch for a while... There were times where approaching bright lights would shine across the leaves in front of him and a loud vehicle would pass by on the nearby road, each time making him go completely still and hold his breath in hopes he wouldn't be spotted... Maybe because it was dark by this point, he mercifully wasn't.

It was hard to tell how much time passed, or if he was even conscious for some of it... but eventually, his exhaustion eased enough for him to move again. Instead, it was replaced by a new uncomfortable- yet vaguely familiar?- sensation in his stomach. He wasn't... sure why, but the rest of him wasn't feeling much better either, so he shrugged it off for now as he climbed out of the ditch and hurried across the road. The sky was still dark, but slowly getting lighter... And it wasn't much longer at all before the trees were mostly gone, replaced with what he could only recognize as more buildings.

Surprised, he hid behind the closest tree he could and peeked around it, trying to get as good of a look as he could without being spotted... The building he'd escaped from had been a large one, and it looked nothing like the ones he could see from here. These were way smaller, and had more bright colors around them, and windows... He couldn't see in through them, though, because they were too dark. There were a few parked vehicles around... but most notably, there were no people to be seen.

He cautiously waited for another minute or two, before the lack of people gave him enough courage to venture closer, beyond the treeline and into the town. He looked with curiosity at the various colorful signs that adorned the buildings and streets, and the hanging lights that blinked yellow in places where the roads intersected. He approached one of the parked cars, silently reading out whatever letters and numbers he recognized on the front plate before pulling the windshield wipers up to see what would happen. He pulled at a handle on the side of the thing too, but then it started honking- angrily, he assumed- and he scrambled to get away.

He ran behind one of the nearby buildings- a large one, with a big glowing sign out front- and spotting some huge boxes, he wrenched open the lid of one of them- padlock breaking and clattering to the ground as he did- and climbed inside to hide. The smell in there... was not very good, and he was surrounded by plastic bags. Those guys who cleaned the lab kinda carried around something like these things... Never had any idea what was in 'em.

Without much else to do, he tore one open to see what was inside, and to his surprise, little bags of bread came tumbling out! Food! Holy shit, these things had food in them?! That feeling in his stomach came back with a vengeance, an ache so deep that he almost felt nauseous. Regardless of the fact that some of the bread was a bit spotty in places, his brain seemed to shut off for a few moments and the next thing he knew, he had ravenously torn into the packaging and devoured two whole loaves and was halfway through shoving a third into his mouth when the lid above him suddenly opened.

Mystic

When the lid is removed and light shines down around the box, he could see a figure behind it, silhouetted with impossible to discern features. The blazing light made it impossible to see much more than the outline of a head and set of shoulders.

There's a clatter of junk and plastic as the stranger gasps.

"Hey!" They yell, the voice one that he'd never heard in his life- and with a level of outrage he'd never heard in his life, "-is someone in there? You get outta there! You broke the padlock?? Get! Get out!"

The light- which appears to be coming from a metal rod grasped in one hand- moves aside, letting the feral kid in the dumpster see a bit more of their face. They're a scruffy-looking human of some kind, with a scraggly startup to a beard and tousled hair. They're glaring down into the dumpster, dropping something else they were holding- another bag of foodstuff? It makes a clinking sound when it hits the ground out of sight.

The hand that wasn't visible before comes back with a broom, shining the flashlight directly on the teenager in the trash this time.

"I said get out! You're going to attract- raccoons-"

Their anger dissipates into shock and surprise at the sight of the strange kid, stumbling back from the dumpster.

"What the hell-?!"

Spooky

For a moment it probably looked like two flashlights were shining right back up at him. The strange kid in question had gone completely still in fright the moment the lid had lifted, but while his body could blend in with the shadows easily enough, his glowing eyes were another story entirely. He flinched when the angry-sounding human pointed the light directly at him, and the moment the man reacted, he did so as well. The shadowy figure lunged upwards, scrambling out of the box and tearing off across the small, empty employee lot, before clearing the fence on the other side of it like it was nothing.

Preoccupied with escaping the human, he didn't pay attention to where he was going until he was confronted by a rapidly approaching pair of other bright lights, followed by a loud honk that got him to leap out of the way just in time to avoid being run over. Nerves thoroughly frazzled by this point, he kept running, desperately searching for a place to hide. Apparently this place wasn't as empty as he'd thought, and with the rise of the sun it was only going to get more active as the town woke up...

Mystic

"Whoa- what-?! AHH-"

The stranger's yelling fades quickly as the kid absolutely tears ass away from the building.

He ran and ran into the darkness of the night, dodging the glaring spotlights of streetlamps and vehicles soaring past him on the roads. Startling, to say the least!

The men in lab coats would come looking for him- he knew they would. They were furious when he managed to break out of containment, the intimidating one with the ponytail the angriest of all. He knew they had flying drones with cameras- he'd seen them taking video footage of his 'training' sessions, the few times he didn't blast them out of the sky himself. He couldn't let himself be seen. Not by anyone, not by any cameras.

Solace is found only at the very edge of town, where the lights are few and the people fewer. It was late at night, now. Everybody must be asleep. The only experience he had with 'night' was whenever the ponytail man in the lab coat said it was time for him to sleep. Shortly afterwards, he would fall unconscious whether he wanted to or not. It was way past that time, now, and he didn't feel the slightest bit sleepy, all hiked up on adrenaline as he was. Nonetheless, his bones felt like they were quaking under his skin from exhaustion. Guess being tired wasn't the same thing-

-and the ground suddenly dips under his feet as he jogs along the tree line. He's sliding down a dirt hollow, into a divot in the earth. The soil was softer under his hands and butt than he expected- and as a result, he kept sliding deeper, until he slid to a stop.

...It was pitch black in here, but he could still see the entrance. He could see the back, too. Shallow, but wide. A vacant den of some kind?

Spooky

He propped himself up on his elbows, trying to take in as much of his surroundings as he could, but it was too dark in here for even the glow of his eyes to fully penetrate, and in the mostly enclosed space his anxious breathing sounded too impossibly loud for him to hear anything else over it. When nothing immediately popped out of the dark to attack, though, he carefully rolled over onto all fours and crawled around the perimeter to make sure he was alone before he finally allowed himself to relax a bit.

At the very least, he was fairly certain no drones would be able to spot him down here. They'd probably see a hole in the ground, but any random creature coulda made that, right? And humans didn't seem the type to crawl into a dirt hole in the ground. They wouldn't see him here...

There was a worried thought of 'what if whatever dug this place out came back', but everything else pointed to this being the safest place he'd found all day. There was only one way in, so no one could sneak up on him at least... Too exhausted to think of any better options, he moved over and situated himself against the back wall of the den, where he could keep an eye on the entrance. He sat there for a little while- legs curled up, his arms crossed over his knees with his chin rested in them- and did his best to keep watch, though his eyes refused to stay open for long. Exhaustion could only be fought off for so long, and there was only so much adrenaline one could burn through in a day. Within minutes, he was out like a light.

~*~

Chapter Index | Next

[ohfugecannada]

I was thinking about Grootfall (derogatory) and suddenly realised this parallel.

[lenaellsi]

“Crowley is still an angel deep down” “Crowley is more of an angel than any of the archangels” “Crowley was only cast out because he needed to play his part in Armageddon, he's not a real demon” “Aziraphale wants to rebuild Heaven to be more like Crowley because he’s what an angel should be” no. Stop it. This is exactly where Aziraphale went wrong.

Crowley is 100% a demon. He's not actually a bit of an angel, and he's not cosmically better than any of the other demons we see in the series. He's much less vicious than most of them, yeah, but he's also much less vicious than most of the angels, because how “nice” a celestial being is has nothing to do with which side they're technically on. Crowley's kindness comes from him doing his best to help people despite the hurt he's suffered himself, not any sort of inherent residual or earned holiness. He was cast out just like the rest of the demons, and that's an important part of his history that shouldn't be minimized, excused, or, critically, 'corrected.'

Being angelic is not a positive or negative trait in the Good Omens universe. It's a species descriptor. Saying that Crowley is still an angel deep down because he helps people is an in-character thing for Aziraphale to think, certainly--Job and the final fifteen showed that in the worst possible way--but it's not something Crowley would ever react well to, and it's the main source of conflict in the entire "appoint you to be an angel" fiasco.

We know that Aziraphale thinks Crowley's fall was an injustice, but why? Well, because Crowley is actually Good, which means his fall was a mistake, or a test, or a regrettable error in judgment, or…something. Ineffable. Etc. The point is, he’s special, much better than those other demons, and if they can fix him and make him an angel again, everything will be fine! (So once Job's trials are over, everything will be restored to him? Praise be!) Aziraphale has to believe that Crowley's better traits come from traces of the angel he used to know and not the demon he's known for 6,000 years, because that’s how he can rationalize his incorrect view of Heaven as The Source Of Truth And Light And Good with his complicated feelings about Crowley's fall.

But Crowley's fall was not an injustice because he's actually a Good Person who didn't deserve it. Crowley's fall was an injustice because the entire system of dividing people into Good (obedient) and Bad (rebellious) is bullshit. Crowley is not an unfortunate exception to God's benevolence, he is a particularly sympathetic example of God's cruelty.

And really, Crowley doesn't behave at all like an angel, especially when he's at his best. All of the things that he's done that we as the audience consider Good are things that Heaven has directly opposed. (See: saving the goats and children in defiance of God in S2E2, convincing Aziraphale to give money to Elspeth despite Heaven's views on the "virtues of poverty" in S2E3, speaking out against the flood and the crucifixion in S1E3, tempting Aziraphale to enjoy earthly pleasures because he thinks they'll make him happy, stopping Armageddon.)

Heaven as an institution has never been about helping humanity. And that's not an issue of leadership, as Aziraphale seems to think--it's by design. Aziraphale's first official act as an angel toward humanity was to literally throw them to the lions. Giving them the sword wasn't him acting like an angel, it was just him being himself. Heaven doesn't care about humans. It's not supposed to. It's supposed to win the war against Hell, with humans as chess pieces at best and collateral damage at worst.

Yes, it's easier to think that there are forces that are supposed to be fundamentally good. It's easier to think that Aziraphale is going to show those mean archangels and the Metatron what’s coming to them and reform Heaven into what it "should" be, and that God is actually super chill and watching all of this while shipping ineffable husbands and cheering for them the whole way. And of course it's easier to take Crowley, who Aziraphale (and the audience) adores, and say that he deserves to be on the Good team much more than all those angels and demons that we don’t like. But that's not how it works. People are more complicated than that, even celestial beings.

Crowley is a demon, and the tragedy of his character is not that he's secretly a good guy who is being forced to be evil; the tragedy is that he's lived his whole life stuck between two institutional forces that are both equally hostile to the love he feels for the universe and the beings in it. There are no good and bad guys. There are no "right people." Every angel, demon, and human is capable of hurting or helping others based on their choices. That is, in fact, the entire fucking point.

[cyb-by-lang]

The Once and Future Thing

Summary: So, remember how the first Justice League Unlimited season finale was a time travel adventure where Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and Batman ended up chasing some goober named David (or Chronos) around as he mangled the timeline with his crappy decisions? All the way back to the Old West, and to a version of Batman Beyond's future Gotham.

Here, Kei got dragged along.

Notes: So having a multi-hour obsession take hold is an interesting time. Here, take the product of my brain deciding to momentarily jump tracks.

Kei had been prepared for a lot of potential ways the future could twist in circles when the timestream was being actively manipulated by some opportunistic creep with an inferiority complex. Like, there was a level of petty, thoughtless bullshit that was only really possible for the most banal sort of everyday evil. The kind of guy who went time traveling around and dropped dinosaurs in cowboy land because he got mugged in the past…well, he fit the bill. Heading through time portals to chase after a guy like that wasn’t just heroism—it was basic self-preservation.

Chronos couldn’t be trusted with ultimate cosmic power. She wouldn’t have given the man a goddamn hamster and expected to see it alive a week later. 

This was surreal enough that all semblance of thought just fell out of her head. 

When the Future Justice League (obviously minus…most of them) arrived, squaring off with the cybernetically enhanced Jokerz gang members, she’d sort of expected them. Future Batman? Sure, it’d been long enough that the all-black suit with the red icon and flight bits was in circulation. Old Man Static? Okay, Kei had never met the guy personally, but it was cool to meet another electrokinetic after the Ultimen fiasco. And War Hawk! Neat that it confirmed the Hawkgirl-and-Green-Lantern relationship worked out in some fashion.

But the deceptively normal person that strode out of the darkness and made fully half of the super-Jokerz team back the fuck up? A shadow wearing a white ANBU mask. 

The crown of spikes was familiar. It was a rendition of something Kei had mocked up once, depicting Isobu’s face in all its spooky glory. Glimmers around the material pointed to some kind of future-tech modification, which stretched down the jaw and neck and into the rest of the dark suit. Kei saw the vaguest suggestions of her favorite sword, the belt of materials and scrolls she often carried, and a hood that made the mask stand out that much more, like a bloody promise.

Every one of the gang enforcers who backed up, Kei noted, carried at least one obvious cybernetic enhancement. And the hyena hybrid just fucking cowered.

“And here I thought the lesson I taught you might finally stick,” said a voice with a playful lilt and a Japanese accent, even years and years on.

“Shit—”

“Oh fuck, it’s her—”

“What is she doing here?!”

“I don’t know—”

The figure cracked her knuckles. Isobu’s chakra flared hot and hateful in a way it hadn’t been for years, centered squarely on the new arrival and creeping outward in a clear threat display. “Class is back in session.” 

09090

“Surprised to see me?”

“A little. I’m more surprised that I lived so long.”

Batman’s meeting with his older self was overshadowed solely because Kei didn’t really…get that far. Instead, a pair of worn but familiarly-scarred hands landed on her shoulders and dragged her away from that potential minefield. She’d only meant to ask if anybody else had made it this long, after hearing half the League had been shot out of space along with the Watchtower. 

Not all heroes coordinated there, after all. It could be a mercy. Kei at least meant to ask about the other Bats, though she knew the answer would probably be “You don’t wanna know.”

Instead, Kei sat on a dilapidated future high school desk while her captor explained, “—Now watching someone retcon cybernetic enhancement into reality in real time was annoying, but we’ve worked through that!”

Kei stared, lost for words.

“Who is…?” she heard Wonder Woman begin, only to stop short as the older woman turned around, popped off her mask, and grinned. 

Kei…wouldn’t say she’d aged badly. Her face more lines, and time had turned her hair super streaky with gray and white, and she’d picked up some more strange scars, but her spine was unbent and she didn’t look anywhere near Old-Batman’s age. Which made sense, since he’d started this whole drama as already in middle age, where Kei had been a teenager, like Static.

Was still a teenager. 

God, time travel fucking sucked. 

“Diana-san,” said Kei’s future self. “Nice to see you’ve cheated death and aging. You look good.” 

“Genbu, it’s good to see you survived amid the chaos,” said Wonder Woman, and extended a hand. As Old-Kei clasped forearms with her, her tense shoulders relaxed a little. “And that you’ve made a reputation for yourself here after all.” 

“Oh, it wasn’t so hard once I put my mind to it,” said… Okay, maybe she could be Genbu. It wasn’t like Kei had ever thought that one through, and now the other Kei had finders-keepers privileges by a lot. “I found it takes a few demonstrations to really make a lesson stick.”

“Why doesn’t that hyena guy have arms?” Kei burst out. 

“Because Woof thought he didn’t need to check for tripwires,” Genbu said, shrugging as she let go of Wonder Woman’s arm. She smiled again, all innocence. “I’ll get him next time.” 

Your future self has taken a proactive approach to some problems.

And weirdly, Kei thought with an edge of panic, I don’t want to know how she got there.

Kei had always suspected that her particular skillset made an excellent fit for a guerilla campaign. And here was a version of herself who made good on that potential. The fact that she’d lasted this long was simultaneously depressing and encouraging. On one hand, everyone must have died if she was still here to get old and cause trouble in a warped timeline. On the other, she’d survived. Her and Isobu, by the feel of things. 

What a fate.

“—Because we’ve already won! Think about it. If old Bruce is here, that means he already lived through this as Batman.” Oh, Static was talking again. “Not to mention Genbu’s mini-me. And yes, I do recognize those scars.” 

“Flawless logic,” Old Bruce bit out. “Except that I have no memory of ever going to the future or of meeting my older self, or of anything else that’s happening today.” 

“Those historical buildings we saw on the street—” Realization struck Batman square in the middle of the sentence. “The timeline’s been polluted.” 

“So polluted that history itself is becoming fluid.” 

“I could have told you that,” Genbu said, rolling her eyes. She flicked a hand out idly, and a kunai flew out of her bracer and into her palm in the same manner as New Batman’s batarangs. “But it’s like people stop listening when you get old.” 

“‘Oh, it’s that Chronos dipshit again’ doesn't convey anything helpful until the disaster already hits,” said New Batman. Or Terry. Kei didn’t know if she was allowed to call him that. “You can barely pull off ‘creepy and kooky aunt.’ Quit while you’re ahead.” 

“And who are you calling old? You’re barely two years older than me,” said Static, more amused than offended. 

“And that’s two years you’ll never get back.” Genbu snorted. “Terry-kun, if Woof wanted to keep his arms, he should have kept them to himself. The same goes for Ghoul,” Genbu replied, unashamed. She started cleaning under her nails with the point of the kunai. “Teaching the new generation is what I do best, you see.” 

Kei winced, though no one here seemed offended by Genbu’s flat refusal to dial down the violence. There weren’t any rules in this kind of war. And, unfortunately, it looked like the timeline turning into a pretzel guaranteed that there were no soft choices. Chronos had already stolen them all, and for what?

For nothing. What a selfish little bastard. The end awaiting him was almost too kind.

“So, about the Dee Dees…?” Kei asked, while the others argued for a little while. She’d noticed a pair of Raggedy Ann twins earlier among the gang members, but it had seemed a little gauche to go “wait, I retconned you out of existence by accident already” in the middle of a fight.

“Chronos’s fuckups ruined the timeline for everyone. Something, something, we’re all dead in a few hours if we don’t fix it.” Genbu had turned away from Wonder Woman and the others while they tried laying out missing bits of timeline, keeping her attention on Kei. Like some kindly old auntie who happened to carry her own weight in bombs instead of cookies. “But to answer your specific question: I think he pulled them out of some other branch and gave them duplication powers. Mostly, I’m too busy killing their copies to ask. Though I do hold out hope that, one day, they’ll realize multiplying by zero still makes zero.”

She looked entirely too proud of that.

It’s not like Kakashi’s here to make those bad jokes land. Which was a depressing thought, too. “And the Joker…?”

Genbu rubbed the back of her neck, where her high collar met her hairline, and tapped a fingertip where a microchip might have gone on Tim Drake at some point. “Irrelevant. Like most things.” 

Because either the timeline held strong with Kei’s interventions and that plot hadn’t gone through, or it had and it didn’t fucking matter because Chronos’s bullshit killed all involved parties but two. Since Bruce and Terry were around. Unmaking the space-time continuum beat out a washed up comedian/serial killer any day. No amount of orbital death lasers really compared. 

“Though I will say it has been interesting, hunting them down like rats.” Genbu’s expression was too placid to be trusted. Her eyes flashed red-gold, mirroring Isobu’s for just a moment. “I think they had…nine thousand members? Organized into two hundred cells or so at their peak and desperately in need of culling.” 

“I…guess that’s one way choose a hobby?” Kei mumbled, trying to edge away from her older self without making it obvious. She could have just used Body Flicker, but any shinobi who lived to fifty-something in fighting shape could and would pounce like a leopard on speed. 

“It keeps me active,” Genbu agreed cheerily, and let her go.

That was…one way to put it.

09090

“So, Tiny Turtle.” New Batman somehow drifted into her orbit, while both other Batmen worked on programming a solution for Chronos’s shit decisions. “Does being a seer count as a preexisting condition? Asking for a friend.” 

“For…the ban on talking about your own future?” Kei made a face at the nickname, but said, “I think you’re good.” 

“If Bruce doesn’t know what’s going to happen, I’ve been assuming you—or your older half—already do. So, is it true?” 

“I think that if Chronos wins, this whole thing is pointless anyway.” Kei shifted from foot to foot, trying not to think about the absolutely overclocked fūinjutsu options her future self handed off like they meant nothing. She could probably vaporize one of those cyberpunk Gotham monoliths by using four of them well enough. “So, the mission is to get the thingy to his time-belt. And if we’re lucky, history snaps back into place.”

New Batman took a moment to consider that option. “And if it doesn’t, we would never know.”

“On account of all being incredibly, retroactively dead, yeah.” Kei let out a long, quiet sigh. “If I’m anything like Genbu—and I hope I am—then I know we’re both up for trying to save the world. No matter the cost.” 

“Seems steep. There’s nothing for us without winning.” He rolled one shoulder. Maybe the cyber-suit wasn’t holding up as well against the time-cheated weaponry as he needed. “Chronos has been trying to kill us for forty years, one way or another. Guess it’s not really news at this point.” 

“Yeah. Still sorry this is ending up on you.” Kei flexed her hand. The sense-memory of almost getting her hands on that whiny little fucker still bothered her. Sure, making sure one of the Wild West heroes didn’t get eaten by a dinosaur was important, but… “I should have killed him when I had the chance.” 

There was a slight pause. “I thought—I guessed you threw out the hero rulebook when we lost the League. But the person I call Genbu and the person you are have always been like this, haven’t they? Haven’t you, I mean.” New Batman shook his head. “Time travel’s a pain.” 

“Ha. You said it.” 

[void-ink-studios]

The Higher Ups in Wrath of the Wishmaster

So, just wanted to dump my brain worms here, and talk about the OC gods that just got introduced in the 3 part instalment of Wrath of the Wishmaster that I posted.

I'd like to introduce the Higher Ups. They're basically the upper management of the pantheon, only answering to The Boss themselves. Their power and rulings override pretty much everyone else, unless the Boss intervenes. They cannot be removed from reality, stripped of their titles, demoted, or even harmed.

You've already met one, the Organizer but there's two others: the Observer and the Judge! So, let's go through their deal one by one.

The Organizer

Let's start with the one y'all have officially met, the Organizer. As the name would imply, she is the goddess in charge of the organization, planning, and paperwork of the entire pantheon. She's the one to deal with write ups, complaints, requests, and record keeping. She has a file on pretty much everything to have ever lived in the multiverse, all perfectly sorted in an infinite records room. She's always super busy. She's also Orbo's direct supervisor, and by extension Scarab's. She's the one who sends the official orders for Auditors to go after rule breakers.

The Observer

The Observer is a rarely seen god, but he works closely with the Organizer. He is in charge of overseeing all activity across the multiverse, particularly with anyone powerful enough to jump between universes, and the other gods. He has seen everything that has ever happened (and rumor says ever will happen) in the multiverse. He hands off this information to the Organizer for storage, and is the primary source of information for sentencing cosmic crimes. He also is the one to confirm or reject complaints and write ups from the Organizer. He commands any and all gods responsible for gathering information within the cosmos.

The Judge

The Judge is the main authority of what is and isn't a cosmic crime. It is them who decides what punishments are delivered to what write ups, who does and does not belong in the Citadel, and is the one to mark individuals as cosmic threats. If someone is marked a target, the information is given to the Organizer to then give the order to Auditors. Of the higher ups, they're the one most often seen, both by mortals and by other gods. It is them you must plead your case to if you're demanding help or mercy from the gods. Unless the Boss intervenes, the Judge can grant or strip any of the lesser gods their title and immortality. They ultimately created the Citadel and the guardians. Not surprisingly, they were a bit salty after the whole Lich fiasco.

Other notes:

Some gods don't directly answer to one of these three. Gods like Prismo and the Cosmic Owl pretty much only answer to the Boss, as it's their power they're tapping into to grant wishes and make dreams prophetic.

All three of the Higher Ups are able to pass down punishment to gods if the transgression is not considered serious. For example, in the last part of Gala of the Gods, if Prismo and Scarab actually did major damage to the Judgement Hall, the Organizer would be sending them straight to the Judge.

Someone on AO3 suggested it and I liked it a lot so I'm including it: The Organizer was kind of Scarab's mentor figure. She was pretty much the only god he really spoke to as he transitioned from mortal to immortal. They stopped talking after Scarab lost his bid for Wishmaster to Prismo. He kind of blamed her for making him think he had a chance when literally everyone else was telling him to not even bother. More on that relationship in the next chapter.

The Observer is terrifying. No one but other Higher Ups talks to the Observer. Even other gods risk going mad by looking upon him.

The Judge is so tired of everyone's bullshit. So is the Organizer tbh. Get them some coffee, dammit.

Golb/Golbetty can technically be considered a Higher Up since their power overrides Prismo's, but Golb is kind of seperate from the cosmic hierarchy. They're a chaotic nightmare, on the same level as the Higher Ups, but not technically one of them.

[choco-pudding]

Space Channel 5 Part 2: Sugoku Sugoi Guide Book p. 160-169 (Translations by @lavoszero and myself. Edits and typesetting by myself)

Last part of Report 6 and the beginning of the bonus content.

Imgur link to all of the Sugoku Sugoi Guide Book translations we’ve done thus far.

Plain text below.

p. 160 Noize's Evaluation: The Curtain Falls on the Rhythm Rogues' Attack

Whereabouts of the Blown-Away Purge Thanks to the Astrobeat Jr., I was able to watch, firsthand, as the dance energy of 86,429 individuals combined into something truly spectacular. But I wonder… what happened to Purge? I don't recall Ms. Pine arresting him… were you content with him being blasted away? I dunno. Looking at the lyrics, "All the whole wide galaxy dances for me; yes, I'll make each one of you very happy," maybe he really thought he was the good guy here. Near the end, I think he said something like, "I won't forget this!" Or maybe it was, "See you next week!" Honestly, I’m a lil' worried. Even Mr. Blank was able to covertly return, so…

Ms. Ulala Marching On Anyway, the last was really cool, wasn’t it. Just wow… The Super Ulala Dimension dance and melody was so powerful I could see and hear it from the outside, too. It felt like something straight out of “Ten Billion Days and One Hundred Billion Nights.” It was like a holy cosmic showdown! It really was… I wonder if the “power of love” did all that. To cap it all off, everyone joined in to do the Space Channel 5 pose. I was so relieved everything was finally over. After that, as you know, we marched away like it was a regal procession. I couldn’t just leave after Ms. Ulala cheered, “Let’s march to the ends of the galaxy!" so I ended marching about 24 more space kilometers.

That’s where the report itself ended. Ms. Ulala, though, she was still so full of energy, even after marching, that she went off to dance somewhere else (laughs). The day after that, my team had the day off. Not that we had much to do in the first place. By then, the incident became a huge story picked up by all the regular news shows, rather than special report teams. Despite the whole fiasco, the government didn't really give us anymore commendations, and everything soon went back to normal. Ms. Ulala is still being routinely scolded by Mr. Fuse. I don't think that will ever change.

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Groove Guru 155

Up Up Down Down Hey Hey Toyota

p. 161

When Mr. Fuse Returned Sometime after I landed the Astrobeat Jr. to watch Ulala and the other’s grand march, Mr. Fuse came down to join me. While we were watching, I said to him "Nice job, Mr. Fuse. I can't believe you're alright." I really thought he met a gruesome fate after the Astrobeat was blasted down. Apparently, he was able to escape unscathed due a number of factors (you can hear the details right outta Mr. Fuse's mouth on the soundtrack CD released on April 24, 2002). I guess it was a traumatic experience regardless, since he went to his usual drinking spot as soon the show was over.

What Did I Do Next? Right now, I'm being interviewed by the Space Police… I don't really mind, they're being nice. But after the incident, I had my hands full! I was involved in the major project to recover all the antennas that had been modified by Purge; it happens when you’re a Technical Development chief with deep connections in the industry. At least the huge dance floor Purge constructed made it easy for all of us to work simultaneously. After about three days, we finally finished and I returned to modifying microphones for Ulala to use while incognito. I made some that look like an ice cream cone, an ear of corn, and a couple of other things.

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Groove Guru 156

Up Toyota Up Toyota Down Down Down

p. 162 Fuse's Broadcast Notes

Report 6 & Repeat 6 Last but not least, here are the final instructions prepared by director Fuse for the live broadcast of "Ulala's Swingin' Report Show," presented in an easy-to-read fashion. Its contents show useful tips for succeeding on the secret input locations. Modifications made for the rerun broadcasts for "Ulala's Swingin' Report Show" (Reruns have unique features from the first airing) are also included. Note, the timing and locations of the secret inputs are exactly the same between the main (Lap 1) and rerun broadcasts (Lap 2).

The Hidden Inputs

[1~2] Return of Mexican Flyer It’s finally back, the last "Jan, Jan, Jaaaan!," featuring the fan-favorite second and third beat of "Mexican Flyer." After Report 2,"Mexican Flyer" took a long hiatus, but these "Jan, Jan" timings haven’t changed one bit! Let's go, all together now! "Jan, Jan, Jaaaan!"

Jan! Jan! Jaaan!

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Groove Guru 157

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p. 163

[3] Ulalaaa! U! La! La! Purge the Great had overwhelming power in the confined space of Dance Dimension X. Ulala skillfully dodged the volley of beams, but even she couldn’t outmaneuver an all-out attack, and fell unconscious. However, Ulala came to her senses once she heard the rhythm of her friends calling to her in her mind. But, there was only three seconds left before the Ballistic Groove Gun fired! That would've be the end of the report! What was your quote, Ulala? That's right, it was "when have I ever lost at dancing! Get the secret input "pikoon" right after "lost!"

When have I ever lost [beat] at dancing!

[When Ulala's face pops up, that's the signal that she's ready to shout. The ratings are almost at 200%, rise up and give it your all!]

Flub the Final Finale and Face the Staff Roll Be careful not to miss the final "Chu! Chu! Chu!" mixed in with all the hype. A few mistake here and there before then is fine—reasonable, even—but the ending of the game changes if you flub here. This ending is a not-so-special shortened staff roll against a pitch-black screen, devoid of President Peace’s song. Needless to say, there's no group "March to the End of the Galaxy" either. And on top of all that, Purge won't perform his last hurrah (an input that can increase your ratings by one percent) at the end of the credits! So, if you screw up right at the end, you'll have to redo the entire report again, no matter what! Try again!

[Here’s the rundown on the failure ending; Mexican Flyer plays and the credits roll by super fast. The ratings? 149% at the most.]

[Now, the successful ending. We get to march to the ends of the galaxy and you get to hear the full lyrics of President Peace's soulful song. You get the complete credits roll, too.]

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Groove Guru 157

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p. 164 Reference Material Direct Hit Interview with Pres. Peace, Post-incident

~Tachibana, interviewing Space President Peace~ Hey, Texas here. The following is an interview conducted by Tachibana of Channel 01. But really, I’m sneakin' this in 'cause Piney, who was with me during this, was being so adorable and hilarious while we moved through the crowd. After the battle with Purge was over, the press started surrounding President Peace, so the president had to walk with Pine leading the way.

Pine: Attention, all members of the press, Space President Peace is very tired at the moment. Reporters, please get out of the way immediately. Reporter 66: Mr. President, a word please… Pine: Please, move out of the way! Reporter 59: Mr. President, do you have any comments… Pine: Get out of the way! (The press still are pouring in) Pine: I said outta the way! Tachibana: Excuse me, Mr. President, may I have a word? Pine, who's heart skips a beat: Oh my gosh! It's Tachi, (Pine's nickname for him), my ideal man, so full of reason and intelligence aaaah!) Pine: Alright (ba-dump), Tachibana from Channel 01, you may approach. Tachibana: Mr. Peace, I hope you're in good health. Peace: Thank you, I'm as healthy as I can be. Tachibana: Could you comment on the recent disturbance? Peace: I believe I can disclose this now, since the case has been successfully and safely resolved… That being said, please, don't hate Purge too much. I don't think his goal to make the galaxy happy was overtly malicious. I think it was just… over the top? He meant well, but went about it the wrong way. Tachibana: I see, thank you very much. Reporter 21: Mr. President, may we have a comment? Pine: Shut up! Tachi is still talking! Reporter 21: Oh, my apologizes… wait, "Tachi"…? Pine: … (I'm done for, I wanna run away). Tachibana: I can ask the question for you, if that's alright? Pine: Ah, alright. (Angrily turns to Reporter 21) Since Mr. Tachibana also asked, I'll allow you to do so, too. But please, limit it to just one question. Reporter 21: Right. Mr. President, what do you make of Ulala? Peace: When I saw the live report of the "Morolian Incident" I was honestly so moved. The fact there are still youngsters who can deeply inspire others, it reminded me that how much good is still in the universe. Disregarding my presidential status, I cannot help by appreciate the fact she saved so many people, including myself, who were under the influence of dance beam. However, I'm not judging her solely as a reporter, but her nature as a person. That is all. Reporter 21: Thank you very much. Pine: Mr. Tachibana, would you like to ask one more question? Tachibana: Yes. Mr. President, what are your thoughts on the current security? Pine: (ba-dump) Peace: Even though I was abducted, I was saved and guided to safety by Miss Pine here, so I think she gets a passing grade. Aha ha ha ha ha! Now then, if you'll excuse me. (Pine shakes Tachibana's hand and slips him a piece of paper) Tachibana: … A phone number??? Pine: (Tachi…)

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Groove Guru 159

Up Down Toyota

[[Translator’s note: I believe it’s implied that Pine’s internal dialogue is all Texas’s interpretation of her sister’s thoughts. Basically, she’s teasing her.]]

p. 165 Bonus

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Groove Guru 160

Toyota Toyota Toyota

p. 166 Miss Ulala’s Changing Room

Costumes Cleaning isn’t in Miss Ulala’s repertoire, so the burden of tidying up the Changing Room always falls on us. She'll swear she’ll pitch-in but she never follows through. It’s kinda irritating. Most outfits are returned as soon as the report ends, but some aren’t collected until a few hours after. So, it’s not unusual for some to go missing during that gap. I wonder when we'll have them all again.

01: Channel 5 Retro Gear [Unlock Requirements] Unlocked from the start.

Newly-supplied company reporting fatigues. Made from ultra elastic material for easy movements.

02: Flower Costume [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 2.

Aromatic Multi-Functional Suit. Regulates body temperature and humidity for extra pleasant reporting at all time.

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Groove Guru 161

Toyota Toyota Hey

p. 167

03: Gogo Gear (w/o helmet)  [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 3.

Designed to protect the human body from space dust at high speeds.

04: Gogo Gear (w/ helmet)  [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 4.

Must have for any space-roaming citizen. The helmet can usually be stored in the back.

05: Spy Suit [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 5.

Designed for infiltration. A special wire attached to the back allows the wearer to move like a spider.

06: Old Retro Gear [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 6.

The company-issued suit Ulala used during the Morolian Invasion. It was in her closet.

p. 168

07: Old Retro Gear (Dirty) [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 6 (Extra Mode).

Designed to protect the human body from space dust at high speeds.

08: Super Ulala Costume [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 6.

A super costume that is an amalgamation of dance energy. Rumored to be just underwear.

09: School Uniform [Unlock Requirements] Clear 24 consecutive trials in Ulala's Dance Mode.

A modified version of a uniform from School M. Altered by Ulala herself.

10: China Dress [Unlock Requirements] Clear 100 consecutive trials in Ulala's Dance Mode.

Used for the undercover investigation of the Shanghai Restaurant.

p. 169

11: Woolen Wear [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 1 with the Ratings at 100%

This was a suit that Ulala used to wear for her part-time job a while back.

12: Stealth Suit [Unlock Requirements] Have save data for Rez (PS2). Have save data for Rez (DC).

A super futuristic suit that apparently looks like a wire frame.

13: Pudding Costume [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 2 with the Ratings at 100%

A costume of Pudding. You can also use it to imitate Padding, who is imitating Pudding.

14: Pine Costume [Unlock Requirements] Clear Report 3 with the Ratings at 100%

A costume of Pine, the Eastern Galaxy Space Police Chief. It can also be used to dress up as Texas, of the Western Galaxy Space Police.

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Straight Up Filthy Groove Guru 164

Honda Honda Honda Honda

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Hello unknowable horror we all love dearly! Tell me, do you have a minute to spare to talk about our lord and saviour: THE CONCEPT OF SHANKS TRYING TO BE THE WINGMAN FOR MIHAWK WHEN HE SHOWS INTEREST ON FUTURE S/O, SINCE SHANKS KNOWS THEM, TRYING TO INTRODUCE MIHAWK AND DOING A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE JOB AT IT FOR MIHAWK'S TASTE?

Mihawk wants to more over, introduce himself in his own time and manner, gauge out this person, charm them on his own. Cue Shanks practically dragging Mihawk in front of future S/O which not only almost ends on him colliding against them face first and sending them flying, but his hat getting knocked onto covering his face in the process and them being hit with the sides of his jacket. Shanks is trying to hype up Mihawk to S/O in the most obvious way possible and Mihawk has never had a deeper motivation to cut Shanks in half without even needing to use Yoru bY THE GODS, JUST SHUT IT RED HAIR-

All the while future S/O is just staring at this man obviously pissed of at Shanks and who the red haired pirate won't even let get a proper sentence in without cutting in with an 'amazing story about Hawkeye', but joke's on Mihawk, because as Shanks' luck usually does, it works, and they're finding themselves smiling at the tall, dark swordsman

Oh dear sweet cosmic infinity, I'm getting second-hand embarrassment for Mihawk just picturing the fiasco. Poor, poor baby.

Wanted to just be subtle about it and Shanks (no doubt at least half-drunk) pulls a live-action-Usopp like "HEY HEY HEEEEY MEET MY BEST FRIEND—oh, oops—"

Also manages to spill rum everywhere, tries to assist in straightening Mihawk's hat and Mihawk just swats his hand away like a temperamental cat.

And the stories just gradually get more and more embarrassing as the situation devolves into a game of who-among-the-Red-Hairs-has-the-funniest-Mihawk-story

And future S/O is deeply amused, but has enough tact and sense to distract Shanks and his crew by ordering everyone a round of drinks

And sneak off with Mihawk while Shanks is distracted, smirking and noting the twitching in his eye and commenting, "I get the impression you're not actually best friends."

And Mihawk just:

"I am strongly considering tearing off his remaining arm and beating him to death with it."

But all in all it technically worked, since he does have future S/O alone now.....

And Shanks is never ever going to shut up about how he's now officially the World's Greatest Wingman™.

[lunarblazes]

Grian’s been keeping a log since the Rift did that—that weird thing with his wings when he first looked at it a little too long. He’d figured it was probably the best option, if he was going to spend all this time around it. Might as well make it scientific and all that.

He’s not really closer to understanding what exactly it’s doing to him, but whatever. He’s pretty sure it’s some kind of radioactivity, but that’s honestly the tamest explanation for something like this on Hermitcraft. Hermits have a way of attaching themselves to their bases, and their bases attach right back—hence why Grian is now wrestling with a very cool-looking but annoyingly vision-impairing sculk infection—and that’s just how it is; last season, Grian’s wings had decided to turn dark with the night sky of Midnight Alley, a bit of thematic aesthetic that had only become more relevant once the more cosmic implications of the seasons had made themselves known.

The void wings had faded soon after their landing, leaving flightless, mossy-green feathers in their wake, and Grian’d been content to just leave them like that until they decided to pick up a new change. It wasn’t really his fault that the Rift was what stuck itself to his wings’ feathers this time; he didn’t make the Rift, and surely it wasn’t his fault for staying down there long enough to sprout a second pair after the whole beacon fiasco.

The third pair might have been his fault though. Just a bit. Though, really, if you thought about it, that had been in the name of scientific experimentation. He now had another pair of sleek wings grafted to his lower back and a third pair plastered to the sides of his hips. Which was fine, honestly. He thought they looked cool and they probably wouldn’t be permanent once he shifted gears to the next season, so all it really demanded from him was a modification to his wardrobe and he was good as new. The tail, too, could probably be attributed to the Rift; it seemed like it had appeared overnight to help him with flight balance, and Grian certainly wasn’t going to complain about anything that helped him fly better. His ears were starting to itch at the tips, which was annoying, and probably meant he might get a fourth pair soon, but hey. In the name of science.

He really didn’t mean to spend the whole night down there. For all his faults, Grian wasn’t a half-bad scientist. He understood the necessity of control groups and only changing one variable at a time in order to get unbiased, measured results. One could argue that a kindergartner probably grasped those concepts as well, but he was rather proud of them, and did well to keep them present in his own experiments. So Grian would only spend controlled intervals of time down with the Rift, mostly making sure Grumbot Prime was still operating, that his machine was all set, and tightening the bolts on the heavy girders that supported the overhead rock in the cavern. He was careful never to touch or draw too close to the Rift, for fear its cloying energy would accelerate or ruin his experiments with background radiation.

Grian knew he’d fallen asleep on top of the girders, because that was the last thing he remembered working on. He didn’t really know how he hadn’t taken any fall damage by the time he woke up, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth, and there were far more pressing matters at hand. Namely, that he was about mouth-deep in the Rift, and that its energy was currently trying to tear him apart like a laundry machine set to high.

The Rift’s energy was all movement and light. He could feel it permeate the half of his body stuck inside it as soon as he was conscious enough to think about where he was. Grian tried his best to suck in a breath of air and wiggle his way out of the fissure like he was swimming up through the ocean, and eventually this strategy worked. He broke free of the tide with a soft schlucking noise, which would have been mildly worrying if not for everything else going on at the moment.

Grian panted slightly, staring at his limbs, making sure he still had all his fingers and everything. Five fingers on each hand, though each of his fingernails looked sharper than they had before. He made a mental note to write that down in his log, even if the experiment’s integrity was shattered now. All seemed well at first glance, which was fortunate; he wouldn’t put it past the Rift to try and eat one of his arms. Or steal his hair, or something weird like that.

His arm felt funny, a kind of pins and needles situation at work along the muscles. Grian shook it out, massaging his hand to return its feeling, but to his surprise, it just… started glowing. Same purple as the Rift and everything. He shook it again, experimentally, and it kept glowing.

Grian frowned. “Hm. That’s unexpected.”

The log would hear all about this later. He’d definitely have to run some more tests (tests required thinking really hard about doing magic things with his laser hand—things like killing Scar, sorting his shulkers—impossible stuff like that).

He stared at the Rift, his hands on his hips. “Couldn’t you have waited just a few more days for me to see some more background stuff happen? God, this is probably gonna accelerate the process by loads!”

The Rift, rather impolitely, did not respond. Grian stuck his tongue out at it. Rude.

[megaweapon]

The current situation with Wizards is yet another reminder of why I think it’s good for the hobby that people explore other kinds of tabletop games. There’s no one end-all be-all game that fits every player, every group, or every scenario. There’s a wide variety out there designed to do everything from play a funny one-shot to organize a whole campaign.

Spend an evening with your friends playing a round of Fiasco. Get up to some action-movie nonsense with a night of Wu Shu. Play a night of Dread, a game whose primary mechanic is a Jenga tower. Try one of the many PBTA-framework games out there--City of Mist! Scum and Villainy! Monster of the Week! Make up your own with the framework, if you like.

Fall in love (as I did) with the storytelling potential of the Genesys system, which can be adapted to all manner of genre (most famously in the fantastic FFG Star Wars series of tabletop games). Again, you can build your own world off of this system, and there are conversion rules to get around the biggest stumbling block, which is their proprietary dice (and free resources to replace physical dice like skyjedi in-browser and RPG Sessions on discord).

Explore (one of my personal favorite) sci-fi settings in Eclipse Phase, a game that’s distributed under Creative Commons, so you can get all the source material you need free and legally. ...I wanna recommend Shadowrun because I do like some of the stuff it has going for it (less so others) but god I’m still recovering from 5th ed. Hopefully the new edition is better. I haven’t played the new edition of Traveller but I remember it as being a delightfully weird but very fun experience.

If you want something a little scarier, there’s always Call of Cthulhu (my personal first TTRPG ever and what got me into the hobby), the newer more action-packed Pulp Cthulhu, or the 20th-century cosmic horror explorations of Delta Green. World of Darkness’s latest edition has done some interesting stuff if you like classic monsters, and the WoD LARP scene is still going pretty strong if you want an “extended cast with a vague murder mystery parlor vibe” kind of experience.

There’s a ton of stuff out there to suit all manner of sensibilities and play-styles.  At the end of the day, it’s all about telling a story, whether that story is happy, horrifying, intrepid, or silly as hell. There’s more than one way to tell it.

I’ll wrap this rant up with my own personal experiences. Technically, the game series I’ve been playing the longest, continuously, is Exile Studio’s Hollow Earth Expedition. Me and my pals have, at this point, about a decade’s worth of storytelling, worldbuilding, and (most importantly) inside jokes from the several campaigns we’ve run from it.

It’s a defunct system now, and we’ve adapted our latest campaign for the Genesys system. We never got the third sourcebook we were wanting, so we’re making it on a WorldAnvil with our group. As a system, it was imperfect, and clearly not designed for the long campaigns we preferred. As a setting, it was compelling but definitely needed some tweaking and brushing up from players. HEX itself was a mere blip, and Exile Studios doesn’t even have a website anymore. Pretty sure they got snatched up by Studio2. Despite all that, though, it was the one that worked, somehow, for all of us.

You genuinely never really know which system is going to be the one that clicks in a way that lasts. Don’t hold yourself back from trying something new.

[fedoraspooky]

A collection of the illustrations I drew for the first 5 chapters of @cryptidsofwakemoor ! :o

Charlie is mah boi and Tikki belongs to @mysticdoodles!

[cryptidsofwakemoor]

Chapter 2 - Burger Burglar

After escaping the lab, Matchstick runs into a new challenge: trying to find enough food to sustain his furnace of a stomach.

~*~

Mystic

...

...…

Something was tickling his face. It was persistent, and poking through the muddy dreams he'd been wafting on.

Oof. And that pain in his gut had come back, mildly nagging at his insides. What was that? It wouldn't go away, either.

Fluttering his eyes open, he was greeted by the sight of the earthy den he'd fallen asleep in. Sunlight was starting to trickle down through the entrance, teasing at his cheek.

Or- maybe that was the red and black bug he saw, poking up at the edge of his vision. It was small and round, and shiny in the morning light.

Spooky

...Buh.

Had he fallen asleep...?

And- damn it, what the fuck was touching his face? He blinked, and caught the movement of the small creature out of the corner of his eye. Startled, he breathed in a dry gasp and brushed it off, scooting his butt away from where he'd been seated. Shit, what the fuck was that thing?! He couldn't see it now, because it had gone flying somewhere, so he was left sitting still for a few moments with a feeling of unease.

Grrrghghlllll...

...And what the fuck was THAT? The sunlight shining in through the entrance lit the burrow just barely enough that he could see nothing else was in here with him, save for whatever that tiny thing was, but he was pretty sure that thing couldn't growl like that...

He waited and listened carefully until he heard it again, a low gurgling growl coming from- from... himself??

The fuck?

Was he dying or something? He felt like shit... His stomach especially, and now it was making worrying sounds... This hole in the ground was safe, but that wasn't gonna do him any good if he fucking died in it!

His mind raced as he tried to think of something he could do about this. His stomach had felt like this the night before, too, but it did seem at least a little less pressing before he'd slept... His thoughts wandered back to him eating those loaves of bread, it seemed to have helped a bit... In fact, he kinda wished he'd grabbed some when he escaped, but he hadn't thought to do that at the time...

His glowing tongue slid out and licked at his dry lips. Yeah... He wished he had more... But damn it, that human was gonna chase him if he went back for the rest of it.

His eyes slowly wandered back towards the light filtering in through the entrance. There had to have been more food out there, right...?

He found himself torn, not wanting to leave and expose himself to danger again, but there was also nothing in here to help distract him from the nagging feeling in his stomach... He huffed out a breath, and reluctantly began his crawl back up to the surface. He poked his head up from the soil, squinting at his surroundings as his eyes had to readjust to the light. The coast seemed clear enough...

Okay. If he could find some food close enough, he could just come back here whenever he needed to hide again. Maybe that'd work...

Mystic

...It didn't take long before something that smelled delicious tempted at his senses. What was that heavenly aroma? Mmm... he didn't have the adjectives to describe it, and it made his stomach complain worse than ever.

It was definitely harder to keep hidden in the daylight. He was very acutely aware of the fact that he had no camouflage, now that the cover of night was gone. Whatever the scientists had done to him to give him this lava blood and charcoal flesh, he stuck out like a sore thumb.

Don't be seen. Don't get caught.

Getting to the edge of the treeline again was easy. Figuring out where the smell came from, even easier- he could see an establishment not too far away that had some sort of fire box visible through a window, with patties and slices of red and brown material sizzling away. The rich smell had to be coming from that.

But actually getting over to it... that wouldn't be so simple. It was across one of those strips of black ground, where metal boxes with lights had zipped along and almost hit him. Those had to be vehicles of some sort, right? He'd overheard conversations among the scientists talking about something called 'trucks', used to move things around. Including him, on rare occasions.

Stomach growled again, demanding.

Spooky

He swallowed, staring at that building with an intensity that felt like it should've been able to bore holes through it, had that been one of his abilities.

It had given him such tunnel vision that it was only after he started to step out from behind the tree that he noticed how busy it was around the building. A 'truck' rolled past, breaking his line of sight, and he noticed some people walking around and talking to each other- some human and some not. There were more 'trucks' too, some sitting still and others moving around. His breath hissed through his teeth at the close call, and he ducked back behind the tree before any of them could see him.

Shit.

How the fuck was he supposed to get over there?!

And... thinkin' about it, there were probably more people in the building too. Even if there were no people outside, he couldn't just walk in... His previously hopeful expression soured in jealousy as he saw people walking out with food in their hands. Like it was so fucking easy.

The worst part was knowing he was strong enough that he could just as easily take it from them, but that would draw way too much attention. And apparently, going off what happened the night before, there were guards out here, too...

...About that, though... If he couldn't walk in through the front of the building, what if there were more of those food boxes out back behind it...? If he ran as fast as he could, maybe he could make it behind there before anyone could get a good look at him.

Fuck it, worth a shot.

Waiting for another 'truck' to pass, he crouched low and sprinted across, ducking into the shadows behind the building. Aw, fuck... There weren't any big boxes, just some metal cans... Nobody else back here though, at least...

Since he had the chance, he decided to see if there was at least something in the cans, so he pried the lid off one of them and tore open the bag inside. It wasn't food, just various crumpled paper-like materials tumbling out, although some were soaked in grease, or some kind of yellow and red stuff. It certainly didn't smell as good as whatever was in the building...

Though given the insistence of his stomach, he was still tempted to see if these could be eaten...

Mystic

Hm... they had something similar in smell to what was coming through that front door. Not quite the same, but close.

Maybe...

Grabbing one of the waxy papers and inserting it into his mouth didn't yield the best results. Some of that savory smell was on the paper in the form of taste, but... above all, he was tasting the waxy outer coating on the paper, which melted in his iron-hot mouth. Ugh, it was gumming up his teeth! Didn't feel very good to swallow, either- he had to cough out a small cloud of smoky embers, as the paper went down as dry ash. Not very appetizing, in the end.

click-click

Shit-

He had to duck back into hiding to avoid being seen, as a door on the side of the establishment opened outwards.

Another daytime stranger in a stained white apron- not a lab coat, thank god- stepped out into the alleyway. Some sort of tall bug-like person? In their clawlike arms they had a plastic bag, similar to the ones found in the box last night. They stopped at the trash can, with the lid still dropped to the ground. Scratching at their head, the bug person grumbles and kneels down to pick it up.

"Damn raccoons," they grumble, holding the lid aside as they drop the bag inside. Once the lid is replaced on top, they take some sort of tethers from their pocket, and strap the lid down to the trash can with the camping rope. Dusting their hands, they go back inside, shutting the door with a click.

Spooky

They kept saying that word. The hell was a 'raccoon'?

Despite the first thing he tried in that can not being the most appetizing thing he'd ever put in his mouth, he still felt a sinking feeling as he watched the stranger tie the top down. Damn it... So much for trying anything else in there.

His eyes followed the strange man back to the door, which closed. He waited for a bit before coming back out, half tempted to try and go in there too despite the danger. Maybe if he was quiet, or fast enough, he could slip in and grab something, then slip back out...

He tentatively reached out and grabbed the handle he'd seen moving on the door, and tried to slowly turn it, but it wouldn't budge. Hm. Maybe he needed to turn it a little harder…

He kept trying to turn it until the lock busted with a loud enough POP that he backed off with a grimace, knowing someone probably heard that and walking in would be a mistake. Unfortunately, with the lock part broken, the door slowly swung open anyway. There was one guy who didn't seem to notice him at all- he had some weird device over his ears and was making humming sounds as he scrubbed some metal thing next to some running water. There was one other guy though- the bug guy from before was standing next to a surface covered in sizzling patties, and the door slowly swung open juuuust enough for them to make eye contact.

.....

Fuck it, guy already saw him.

The famished bioweapon darted inside and made a grab for some patties, completely unaffected by the heat of the grill. He managed to snag two and stuffed one in his mouth like a frenzied animal before making a break for it back out the door, not stopping even as he heard shouting behind him and a flat ended instrument of some kind was thrown after him, bouncing off his back.

His back was still wounded and it stung like hell, but whatever the fuck that food was tasted so much better than anything he'd ever had in his life that he didn't even care! Fucking worth it.

Mystic

The yelling and flailing of the bug person got the attention of not only the man wearing the strange device on his head, but also the passerby and customers of this establishment.

"What the hell was that?!"

"I don't know! Was that a kid, or-?"

"No, it was like a shadow! What the fuck!!"

The outcries of the people follow the kid even as he bolts away from the storefront, swallowing the second patty of brown stuff with wild abandon. God, it was so good! Nothing had ever tasted this delicious in his life! He'd eaten meals only rarely, as rewards for 'good performance'. This made those meals taste like utter garbage by comparison. Steam puffed out of his mouth, the sound of sizzling emanating from his own throat as his inner fire burned up the material. Was this what made that delicious smell? Setting fire to food?

It satisfied the rumble in his stomach, for now. The gurgle in his gut had receded.

Back across the black stone path, he was under cover again. Safe.

And right on time, too. The familiar whine of electronics passes by overhead. Camera drones. He dodged a bullet, there.

Spooky

He ducked back into the cover of the woods and headed back towards the burrow to lay low. One drone was too much for his liking, but all bunched together like that, it was too dangerous to blow any one of them up without alerting the others. He'd caused enough alarm for now, and now that his stomach was feeling better, he didn't wanna push his luck any further than he already had.

Hopefully those people would calm down once they hadn't seen him for a while...

Once he made it back to the burrow entrance, though, he crouched with a bit of hesitation, licking the remaining patty grease off of his hands in thought as he tried to savor whatever left of that taste he could.

Yeah, he could go back down there and hide, but... then what? He wasn't tired, and he'd just be sitting in a hole in the dark for hours and hours, probably until his stomach hurt again and he'd have to come back out anyway.

Maybe it'd be better to explore a little bit first? Get familiar with the area. That way if he got chased again he could have some kind of an advantage... Or heck, maybe he could find some food out here. Animals had to eat too, right? People food was risky, but it was so good... The thought of going back to eating what he'd been used to before kind of sucked after experiencing something that nice, but fuel was fuel.

Standing back up, he started to wander again, though was sure to steer clear of the direction he'd just fled from.

~*~

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[batrogers]

headcanons ask for chief and minish :D

Oh no... Fiiiine /giggles

A) What I think realistically?

Both games are super sweet, super lovely games with some intensely creepy bad guys who are I think really well-done almost cosmic horror level entities. Spirit Tracks goes a LOT harder on it than Minish Cap, but honestly there is a baseline default here where I am staunchly on the side of "These boys have the sweetest temperaments ever, full stop."

B) What I think is funny?

Minish Cap Link being a cryptid is, frankly, the funniest shit ever to me and you will pry it from my cold, dead hands. Tiny boy giving everyone jump-scares and climbing the walls might be nightmare fuel to YOU, but to me it's the most adorable thing he could do.

The funniest headcanon I have for Spirit Tracks Link is one I've been recently entertaining which is that, based on everything we see in the game there's probably a state religion to support the whole magic bits of the Spirit Tracks infrastructure? So this kind of hard-core trains and engineering game (just roll with it) also means this guy has like a metaphysics degree to go with it. By necessity.

C) What I enjoy crushing my friend's spirits with?

Minish getting fucked up into a cryptid at sixteen, and the whole fiasco of learning to walk again and struggling to advocate for himself when he's also nearly non-verbal to begin with. Best angst, absolute tragedy. He's a beloved child and best friend, and now he's also a monster.

Spirit Tracks Link being basically an EMT. Honestly I don't do enough with it, but I love it as a headcanon because it makes sense if you think about the job implications enough: he works with heavy machinery. Crush injuries are a big thing. He travels in uninhabited wilderness, between small towns. Having medical training makes sense. But that means he's first responder to a lot of horrible, horrible shit and so he's seen things he can't unsee.

D) What makes me say "Fuck You" to Canon?

I take the "Minish Cap Link is a sweetheart" bits of the game's tone and discard the rest. The time limit to save Zelda? Dead serious. He nearly failed. Tingle? He gets to die horribly because I said so. I just cannot with how saccharine this game is, so everything gets to be taken in the worst light possible, thanks.

TBH I don't really violate canon in Spirit Tracks that much? It's not quite as saccharine as Minish Cap so I don't usually fuck with it too hard, but I do also slot him into other games so I can build things up more. The sweetness with Zelda is great, and most of the rest, as listed above, isn't violations but extrapolations of canon. ("If train mechanic, then industrial first aid...") I suppose bunny-man can go the same way as Tingle, but I will continue to let him live. So far.

[edadoesnoteatowls]

Hhh, I want Collector (species) Lore and it hurts that I do not have it. So I guess I'll make it up myself. (Note, I will use Collectors and Starchildren interchangeably.) Concepts be like:

-Collectors are born from stars, but also rarely from other cosmic events or celestial bodies like supernovas or planets respectively. Starchildren not born from stars need one regardless to sustain their life force and will forge bonds with nearby, unclaimed stars. The only exception to this is a black hole, as it would immediately kill the life it spawned.

-Just because black holes do not produce Starchildren, does not mean they cannot have a Starchild. When a star dies, it can become a black hole. Likewise, the star's Collector can go through a metamorphosis and become something... Different. They are still a child of the stars, but must sustain themselves by taking energy from other stars or starchildren.

-Collectors have factions. The oldest faction is the Archivist faction, but a rival faction known as Conservationists formed over a disagreement over their beliefs. Since then, there have been multiple factions but those two stand tall as the primary ones.

-The Conservationists formed shortly after the Titan fiasco perhaps? Many on both sides lost their lives. Either way, the Archivists are not fans of the Conservationists, viewing them the same as mortals who resist preservation.

-Conservationists aim to record and sustain life rather than just preserve and collect. They tend to be more careful with planets and the living beings on them. Collecting animals but recording civilizations and intelligent life.

-Collectors have a "core" it's the part that links them to their star no matter how far they go. Break the core and you can kill the Starchild. Just do it fast before they run back to their star to fix it. Also good luck managing to touch it in the first place.

-Our Collector would probably be in for a culture shock if he encountered any of his own kind. Archivists have become much stricter and Conservationists are something he might be able to get behind.

-Just a thought but our Collector being a wanted criminal among Archivists just amuses me greatly.

That's all I can think of atm but feel free to ask questions cause I wanna flesh this out more! It would help. Also would love to hear your headcanons about them.

[regaliasonata]

Character ask Dustin!!

Character Ask: Dustin Brooks

First Impression

-Most likely a goofball, doesn't know how to frown since that would make him literally sick. Probably the weakest but most versatile person on the team ao he's hard to kill.

How I Feel About The Character/Impression Now

-Love him honestly, would like to meet him or even be friends tbh, one of the strongest members and has a major thing for guys.

Favorite Moment

-Witnessing the Beevil situation and him just decimating the situation with the new mode for his ninja sword.

Idea For A Story

-an ambitious child of a space royal that can control all aspects of earth such as meteors, stars and even summoning beetles.

Relationships

OTPs

-Hunter/Dustin like have you met me 😏, Also pretty much anyone on the team can be placed with him tbh because the rangers got major chemistry.

-Conner/Dustin as I see that really having a bunch of potential(look we've all established Dustin's one of the most strongest rangers via brute strength so him being able to lift Conner like he's nothing is just peak requirements solved for red😭)

BROTPs

-Entire Ninja Storm team, no explanation needed.

-Dustin/Leo/Cole/Jarrod/Flynn/Adam, lion rangers are either hanging out on the weekends or causing a ruckus out in the open. Cole and Leo are Dustin's favorite for reasons, inner fan boy crushing from seeing rangers on TV as a kid.

-Marah/Dustin, I could see then actually becoming friends after the season but it would take a long process before then, though they would make a nice duo.

Unpopular Opinion

-Had ATLA released in the 90s I'd bet Dustin would be basing all his arsenal on Toph, maybe it's just me wanting to see civilian powers again but I hope he makes a return just to show off this lost creativity of non ranger powers that we had from Ninja Storm to Mystic Force.

One thing I wish would/had happened in the show

-Should've kissed a guy or had a power up of his own, well second part applies to all team members.

-idk why but the idea of an Evil Dustin via Lothor(like that one episode) as an arc would be interesting, actually cement how crazy the earth element can get with the right practice, from growing plants, controlling heated crust, explosions etc.

Headcanons

-No doubt about it Dustin can identity as Bi, Trans, Gay, Pan. No way that dude is straight cause he pretty much loves everyone.

-He lives happily in bliss but again it does lead to his downfall cause how can Dustin tell when someone is being rude to him, though being sad or angry leads to a lot of emotions coming out.

-He sometimes grows a little stubble for a beard and on his chest, low and behold the day he wears a v-neck out Hunter has to stop other students from charging at Dustin and dude is just unaware of it. This combo plus a flip of his curly locks and everyone around just falls over.

-While they like him the yellow rangers except for Kelsey, Chip and Katie banned him from being in group chats because he doesn't know WHEN TO STOP SPAMMIMG SHIT LATE IN THE NIGHT. Taylor would throw fried bird legs at his window for two weeks straight after he video called her while she was busy on a date...doing stuff

-Dustin and Shane have some of the weirdest conversations

Shane: Brazilian guys are so fucking hot, Hunter really scored huh.

Dustin: Yeah...wait what.

-the Ninja Storm team are one of the only teams that weren't captured by the whole Zedd fiasco during Cosmic Fury and honestly get roasting rights against those that did get captured. Like it's Zedd! Not even the real version, how does one get fumbled that badly, Dustin, Taylor, Chip and Lily having the time of their lives just calling out the BS.

Taylor: That's why you invest in zords that are spiritual.

Chip: Or Magical.

Lily: Or are summoned from you.

Dustin: Or just turn giant yourself.

[fudgecake-charlie]

I'm being self indulgent today so I'm plugging some of my spotify playlists here! because i just gave them all cover art and that's cool of me! It's a lot of links and descriptions so they're under the cut

^ Exactly what it says on the tin! Here's a general vibe of what my music taste is like. (including artists from 2021 too, which i don't listen to as much but it's still statistically on there) I need to update it soon though, I gotta put shakey graves on there

^ Aw yeah it's a cosmic harbingers AU playlist. It's a fresh-from-the-oven baby that I've been working on for a while now! It's got a whole lot going on thanks to The Narrative (this playlist is designed not for shuffle) and some general horror/atmospheric instrumental vibes. It's also got a lot of my general music taste in there too!

^ If anyone remembers the "next door penpals" fiasco, this is the compilation of both of our written letter playlists into one. My side is from 17 onwards! We all went on a date (/p) by the way. It was lovely! I probably won't hear from them again. The other part of this on my profile too, another compilation of music from other letters and through-the-wall parties.

^ last one i promise! Another horror narrative playlist (wow fuck) based on the Fallen London browser game and the story of my little guy from it. This devolves from sweet love songs to sad love songs to just straight up horror! And ruth etting because i love ruth etting. This one (deservedly, the vibes are fantastic) doesn't have an art cover and is just a picture I took at like 3AM in the middle of winter.