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trashyswitch · 3 years

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Patton's Sugar Addiction

Patton has become way too addicted to sugar, to the point that Thomas is becoming affected mentally. And Logan is not having that. So, he comes to Patton's room to try to talk some sense into him. But...there's only so much sense you can explain to an impulsive little child who becomes childish and teasy when he doesn't get his way.

For Garcello (Hi!), @kanene-yaaay and forgetful-dortio

This was a fun fanfic to make! And...It's based on a personal experience...Without the tickling though, and not nearly as much sugar. But I did pig out on hot and cold creamy chocolate. And I have no regrets. ;)

If there is one thing Logan has always been good at, it’s identifying other people’s quirks and habits. And one quirk Logan knew all too well was Patton’s obsession with sugar.

From the time Patton was little, to when Patton started baking his own goods, Patton had grown increasingly more obsessed with sugar. At first, it start off as a little treat once a week. Then it grew to everyday desserts, to multiple sweet things a day. Soon, Logan had lost track of how much sugar Patton took in on a daily basis.

Logan didn’t fully know how much sugar he took in. But what he did know was that it was most likely too much. Even a tablespoon of sugar was too much for the human body. And Patton had already overtaken that obstacle long ago.

Now, Logan wouldn’t be looking at this issue as a problem if it weren’t for the effect Patton was having on Thomas...

One night, Logan had gotten up to go to the bathroom. As he walked to the bathroom, he noticed that Patton’s light was still on. It was currently 11:25, which wasn’t terrible...It was questionable at best. Logan walked to the door and placed his ear against it. It sounded like mumbled giggling and movie watching. Logan was gonna leave him alone when he realized something:

Mumbled giggling...Mumbled? Is Patton eating something?

Logan decided to do something he rarely does: Barge into his room. Logan walked into his room, took one look at Patton and shrieked!

Patton was eating a FULL TUB of cookies & cream ice cream, covered in caramel and chocolate sauce, mounted with whipped cream! It was a mountain of PURE SUGAR!

Surrounding the moral side was a big mug of hot chocolate, and 3 half-eaten chocolate bars.

“AAAH-” Patton coughed on his ice cream as bits of the liquid cream went down the wrong pipe. “Logan! Oh my goodness you scared me!”

Logan was staring at him, making the sugar calculations in his head. P-Patton-”

“Sorry Kiddo, I don’t think I heard you knock!” Patton put his tub down. “What’s going on? Do you wanna talk about it?”

Logan looked at the sugar pile. “Are...you feeling okay?” Logan asked.

Patton nodded. “Yeah, why?”

Logan pointed to all his chocolate. Patton turned around and looked at the chocolate. “Oh! Right.” Patton pushed all the chocolate bars and the tub into a desk drawer. “That’s nothing. Just felt like pigging out tonight.”

Logan walked into the room more and closed the door. “Your version of pigging out...is much worse than most people’s pigging out.” Logan told him.

Patton looked down guiltily. “I know that Lo…” Patton held his hands. “I’ve been...getting more sad and annoyed when I run out of the food that makes me happy. So I started buying large amounts of it to...help me get satisfied and full.” Patton explained.

“Patton...Do you realize how much sugar you’re taking in?” Logan asked.

Patton looked at the drawer with his half-eaten tub of ice cream and chocolate bars. “I...I lost count.”

Logan shook his head and walked closer. “I’m doing a sugar bust.” Logan declared as he opened the drawer.

“No NONONO WAIT-” Patton yelled, slamming the drawer shut. “No!”

Logan frowned. “Patton...let go of the drawer.” Logan ordered.

“No way!” Patton yelled back.

“Why?” the nerd asked.

“Because you’ll take it away from me!” Patton reacted.

“Yeah, because I’m worried about you.” Logan told him.

Patton sat his chair against the drawer to block it off. “If you love me, you’ll let me have this!” Patton told him.

“If I love you, I’d be doing this for the good of your health.” Logan said back.

“I’m a side! I can eat whatever I want without needing to watch my diet!” Patton argued.

“You are not stable like this!” Logan shot back.

“AND YOU ARE??” Patton yelled. “Mr. I feel no feelings?!”

Logan was taken aback. Did...Did he just insult him? Patton was NOT being himself at all.

“Organization makes you feel happy. And chocolate makes me feel happy! I never went around destroying your binders or paperwork!” Patton continued.

“You’re being ridiculous. I will not tolerate this unacceptable behaviour from you, Patton.” Logan said sternly.

Patton growled and tackled Logan right down to the ground. Logan yelped in fear as his back flopped against the ground. “PATTON LET GO OF ME!”

“You’re doing something that’s uncalled for! So now I’m gonna do something that’s uncalled for.” Patton declared before he started digging into Logan’s ribs.

Logan gasped and clenched his teeth tightly to prevent himself from givng Patton a chance to win. But oh boy...Patton was really going for an instinctive spot he could only control so much! And yes, Patton’s move was quite uncalled for. But it was also quite clever for Patton. Patton (unfortunately) knew exactly how to break any side. Even Logan.

Logan shook his head. “P-PAT THISISRIDICULOUS!” Logan shot at him through his clenched teeth.

“So is apprehending my stash of goodies!” Patton replied. “Now don’t make me go for the spot…”

Logan widened his eyes to the size of donuts. “You-youwouldn’t!” Logan reacted. He really wouldn’t, right?

“Ohohoho, I would. And I just might!” Patton declared.

Logan covered his armpits almost immediately to prevent Patton from getting to them. But Patton knew he would do this, and went for his neck instead.

“eEEEEHEHEK! Pahahat nohohoho!” Logan giggled.

“But Pat YES!” Patton leaned into Logan’s ab muscles, and blew a big raspberry: “PBBBbBbBFFBTBFT”

Logan finally couldn’t take it anymore. That raspberry threw Logan into enough of a frenzy to finally start laughing. “AAAAHAHAHAHAhehehehehe!”

Patton smirked to himself as he listened to the nerd’s laughter. It worked! Now to keep it going! Patton started skittering and scratching on Logan’s upper ribs and lifted up Logan’s arm. “I’m gonna getcha!” Patton teased.

“NOHOHO THIHIS IS UHUHUNCAHALLED FOHOHOR!” Logan yelled.

Patton only laughed evilly as he skittered his fingers slowly into Logan’s exposed hollow armpit.

Logan squeaked and fell into a fit of squeaky giggles. “Pahahahahat! Plehehehehehehease! Yohohou’re beheheing meeehehehehean!” Logan told him through the cute giggles he was letting out.

“Me? Mean?! Who was the one trying to steal from my precious stash a few minutes ago? Cause it certainly wasn’t me.” Patton reacted as he sped up the tickling to rapid speed.

“AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOHOHOUR HEHEHEALTH PAHAHAHAT!” Logan yelled through his newfound laughter.

“Yeah, what about it?” Patton asked.

“IHIHI DOHOHON’T WAHAHANT YOHOHOU TOHOHO DIHIHIE!” Logan yelled.

Patton sighed. “Again...we’re sides. We don’t die.” Patton muttered out loud.

Logan was laughing up a storm with squeaks and giggles mixed in. This was so unfair! Why was Patton tickling him over his own sugar addiction? “BUHUHUHUT THOHOHOMAHAHAHAS!” Logan yelled.

“What about Thomas?” Patton asked, stopping his fingers.

Logan went limp, save for his one index finger that was raising up. “Thom-Thomas…*huff* ihis...behecomihihing...*huff*...un...unhealthy…*huff*...” Logan explained.

“Because of me?!” Patton reacted, placing his hand on his own chest. “How could that be?” Patton asked.

Logan’s hand flopped onto the carpet he was laying on. “Ihit’s...because…” Logan let out a big breath of air. “You’re increasing Thomas’s...craving for sweets.” Logan told him.

Patton tilted his head. “Am I?”

“Yes, a lot.” Logan explained. “Thomas has been ignoring my suggestions of something healthy due to ‘his cravings’. But...I can see why these cravings are coming up so often now.” Logan continued. “It’s you and your sugar addiction.”

“I wouldn’t call it an addiction...It’s more of a...taste preference.” Patton explained.

“A taste preference that you’re choosing so often that Thomas can’t keep himself together without a cookie or 20 to help him along the way.” Logan added.

Patton widened his eyes and covered his mouth. “Oh heavens…” Patton sat himself down and hummed as he looked at his butt. Patton stood back up and grabbed the item from his pocket.

Oh good lord it was another chocolate bar.

Logan noticed the almost cat-like look Patton developed when he saw the chocolate bar in his hand. “Paaaat...Paaat no!” Logan ordered.

Patton took one look at Logan and slowly ripped the top of the wrapper off the bar.

“Patton! I swear! You’ve had enough!” Logan reacted.

Patton slowly split the wrapper in half, and slowly separated the wrapper from the chocolate bar. “No I haven’t.”

Logan finally sprinted up to Patton. “GIVE IT HERE-” Logan skidded to a halt and rubbed his nose. “Did...Did you just shove the whole thing into your mouth?”

Patton stared at him and looked around with his cheeks more puffed out than a chipmunks cheeks of nuts. “Mm mm.” Patton hummed, shaking his head even though it was completely obvious that Patton had shoved the chocolate bar into his mouth.

Logan crossed his arms. “This is getting too far. Even for you.” Logan reacted. “This is more dangerous than Maleficent...Than- freaking SATAN! You’re being more dangerous than the devil right now!” Logan reacted, referring to his ‘and when I feel dangerous...eat a second cookie’ quote.

Patton narrowed his eyes and even hummed an offended sound. “How THARE-” Patton coughed a bit and started chewing. Half the chocolate bar was probably melted in his mouth by now thanks to the natural heat his mouth created.

Logan sighed and just let him chew. “Patton...I’m not gonna take the chocolate. But...I am going to try and help you control your urges to eat so much of it.” Logan told him.

Patton looked at him with a ‘you’d do that for me?’ kinda face and started to swallow.

“Just give me a chance to come up with a couple things. And...I may even start buying you your chocolates. Just...maybe have some variety.” Logan suggested.

Patton nodded as he chewed and swallowed.

“For example: nuts or berries. That way you’re getting some sort of valuable nutrients out of your snacks.” Logan decided.

Patton nodded as he swallowed his last bite with a sigh of content and a lick of the lips. “Mmmmm…”

Logan couldn’t help but snicker at this.

Patton turned to him. “What?” He asked with a smile.

“Nothing.” he put his hands up, with a small smile.

“Nothing? Nothing you say? After all of that?” Patton asked with an evil smirk on his face.

Logan’s small smile dropped into a look of pure nervousness. If he so much as said one thing, he was gonna die.

“Ooooooh...Thought staying silent would help you out huh?” Patton teased, sneaking closer. “I wonder...Which armpit would tickle more?”

Logan squeaked and covered his mouth as Patton moved closer and closer to Logan’s body. But then, things became even more flustering for Logan when Patton lifted up his arm again. “NO! NO NO NO NO PATTON!” Logan yelled. “STAAAAAAAA-”

Patton sighed and covered Logan’s mouth. “Get ahold of yourself.” Patton told him softly.

Logan stared at Patton.

Then Patton smirked and said a word:

“lee.”

Logan growled and covered his face.

Patton giggled and blew a raspberry into Logan’s ribs.

“AAEEHEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!” Logan screamed, laughing into the side of his own arm.

Patton tickled up and down the ribs, specifically focusing on the upper ribs and armpits the most because...That was Pat’s favorite spot to tickle on Logan! Logan was a mixture of laughter and giggles with squeaks thrown in as well. “Awwwwww! You’re so cute when you’re being tickled!” Patton reacted. “Wanna know what my favorite raspberry spot is?” Patton asked.

Logan shook his head. “NOHOHOHO! NOHO RAHAHASPBEHEHERRIES!”

“Well too bad, I’m gonna tell you anyway:” Patton leaned in and blew a raspberry on his belly. “Right on the tum tum!”

Logan wheezed and snorted at least 3 times in a row as his laughter started back up again. His laughter was so solid, strong, and yet quite soft to listen to! It was a beautiful little combination, if Patty did say so himself.

Patton soon gave Logan a break to allow the man to breathe for a while. Logan went limp on the ground for a bit, and lifted his head up. “Hey Pat?”

Patton smiled at him as he ate another spoonful of melting ice cream. “Yes?”

Logan wheezed as he saw Patton eating the ice cream yet again. “If you label the ice cream and put it into the freezer…” Logan looked down in slight embarrassment. “I’ll...let you tickle me more.”

Patton couldn’t refuse such a delicious deal such as this!

Patton was gone and back in 5 minutes or less, and was back and ready to tickle even more of Logan with his slightly cold hands. “I hope you’re ready for the tickling of a lifetime, young man!” Patton teased.

Logan gave him a wobbly smile. He hoped he was ready for it too...

#mentions of thomas sanders #sugar addiction #worried logan #protective patton #ticklefic #ler!patton #lee!logan #Patton is a little shit #fluff and humor

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saundraswriting · 4 years

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Cosmogyral

I decided to participate in a writing challenge for a great author, Georgie at @bonkywobble. This is the first of two prompts for this challenge. I hope you enjoy it!

SUMMARY: Cosmogyral: (Adj.) Whirling around the universe. Bucky stops whirling about the universe once the reader enters his life.

This is being posted on my writing blog instead of my main blog @saundrasays. Please check out my other works if you wish.

Masterlist // Ao3

Recovery was hard. Shuri and everyone in Wakanda did what they could for him. They were able to somehow fix his brainwaves into being triggerless, but he still had so much trauma to work through that some days he could barely move. There were days that the weight of the world bent his back, his hands were stained red. His time in Wakanda helped him learn how to be human again, caring for the goats and interacting with people, he even relearned his strength. He was able to train and spar and not kill and that did great things for his mental health. He was stable, but not happy. He wasn’t sure what would make him happy anymore.

“Hey, Buck.” A deep voice came through the sparring room. Bucky looked over from where he was working at a punching bag. His eye brightened significantly seeing you and Steve come through the door.

“Y/N! Hey. Good to see you too, Steve.” Bucky smiled, walking over to them. Steve shot Bucky a knowing grin at the enthusiasm but said nothing.

“We came to move you out of basic training, dingbat.” You were rocking back and forth from toe to heel, excitement palatable. “You based all your checks and Shuri and the others gave the recommendation for a return to New York.” You were grinning from ear to ear. You and Bucky had grown close over the events with Zemo and the almost Civil War.

You were one of the few that successfully drove attention from the in-fighting to the bigger problems, also pointed out that the Accords as they were written were terrible. Your involvement led to a peaceful reconciliation and explanation instead of a practical disbandment of the Avengers, much to yours and everyone’s pleasure. You worked closely with everyone to get their opinions and strived to find solutions, one of those was a location change. You suggested a move to somewhere out of sight, fit for training and bonding. No one was against you and as such you were along for the ride to collect one of the remaining members.

“Wait, what? I can go home?” Bucky froze, mouth slightly open and eyes wide. Then slowly, like a sunrise a grin crossed his face. His eyes scrunched up and he had dimples on his cheeks. The shoulders that seemed to be weighed down by something relaxed and eased, making him seem younger.

“Yep! We are gonna help ya pack and then get you home. Well sort of. We don’t live in the city proper anymore. But I think you will like this better, anyways.” You put your hand to the side of your mouth to whisper. “It was my idea.” You winked and turned quickly on your heel. “Hurry the hell up, oldies. We got shit to do and places to be.” You trotted out of the room hollering for Shuri, even though you knew exactly where she was.

“You heard her. Let’s get a move on. She waits for no man, let alone to 100 year old super soldiers.” Steve clapped Bucky on the back. Bucky huffed and nodded. The two of them cleaned up Bucky’s small mess and then slowly made their way to his small house to pack his meager belongings. They knew you would find them eventually. You had friends in Wakanda too.

A few hours later, Bucky’s last two years of his life were packed in discreet plain cardboard boxes the fit easily into the back of the Quinjet. Bucky had already said his goodbyes and was anxiously waiting in a sit behind Steve. You were at least on the ramp, loitering in your goodbyes, you were laughing and waving as the door closed. You settled down for take off and noticed Bucky’s look.

“You do know that not having a lot of thigs isn’t a bad thing, right? That just means you weren’t meant to settle down there. The next place I hope for you is a forever place and if not, I’ll help you find it. We have all the time you need. You aren’t alone anymore.” You said. You were trying to comfort Bucky, but knew you fell short.

“I guess that is true. I was too busy learning to heal and get healthy to be worried about stuff. I can get things now. I can have stuff.” Bucky said. He grabbed your hand and squeezed.

“Yep. You get to be a person now, isn’t that great. Decisions are all around you.” You said. You squeezed his hand back. “I know I just said that but to make the move easier and a bigger surprise, I did choose some of the things for your room, which if you don’t like we can change.” You let go of Bucky’s hand before settling down in your chair.

“This is your captain speaking. We have reached cruising altitude. I would like to thank you for flying Stark Air and Have a wonderful day.” Steve said from the cockpit.

You sighed and rubbed the bridge of your nose. “Great. Thanks, Steve. I have so much shit to do. I have three godamn reports to file and a STRIKE team to brief for Fury. I’ll be in the tech room if you need me.” With that you headed off to a small room to the side, where you began briefing the team you’d mentioned and reviewing the reports you needed to file.

“Bucky, you can sit up here. I don’t bite.” Steve said. He and you had worn civilian clothes, Steve was relaxed in his seat, letting the auto pilot have control. “I hope you liked your surprise. I hope you like your surprise. She worked very hard on it. She’s sweet on you.”

“Nah. She’s sweet on everyone. I am sure I will like it. She gets me pretty well. When I first woke up here, after Shuri cleared me of triggers, she was one of the first people I met. She happened to be walking through the lab and somehow knew that I was uncomfortable with the prodding even though I didn’t know. Then in a snap, she was everywhere. Not maliciously, just comfortingly on the edge of my radar, especially at the beginning. It’s no wonder, why I love her the way I do. She means a lot to me. Right now, I am okay with it being sweetness and softness and warmth. If one day it becomes thick and heavy and hot then I am okay with that too.” Bucky said. He couldn’t look Steve in the eye, only able to focus on his fingers, rubbing his human fingers against his cybernetic ones.

“Well then. I think I am embarrassed, and I was the one who mentioned it.” Steve could feel the heat on his cheeks. He laughed softly. “I am happy for you Bucky. I really am.”

The two of them chatted for most of the ride, finally you joined in after getting your work done. All too soon though, the jet alerted everyone to the start of the descent, forcing you all to return to your seats. Upon arrival, the boxes were left to be delivered later by a shield team. You and Steve had explained the upstate compound to him while packing in Wakanda, the solution to many problems, a training ground for new Avenger candidates and such. Your trio headed straight to Bucky’s room, the anticipation making you tremble.

“This is my room, but you look more excited.” Bucky pointed out. The two of you had been walking next to each other from the hangar but every few feet somehow, you’d shifted to the right or left, orbiting each other. Steve could barely stomach the nauseating aura the two of you put off. You couldn’t stop smiling and your kept clapping every few steps laughing in excitement.

“My love language is acts of service for a reason, buckaroo. I like doing things for the resident dumbass.” You grinned, reaching for Bucky’s hand, that was already reaching for yours. Steve silently gagged from behind the two of you.

The three of you reached the room, but Steve kept going. This wasn’t something he wanted to intrude upon. He had seen and heard enough with all your questions you had for him. You and Bucky stopped in front of his door. There was a biometric scanner next to the door but also a regular lock. You pulled a single key on a goat keychain and handed it over, your fingers trembling. Bucky grabbed on, his fingers brushing yours. You didn’t let go just yet.

“Welcome home, Sargent James Buchanan Barnes.” You took a deep breath and let go of the keys.

“Thank you. I promise, there is no need to be nervous. You did this for me, out of the goodness of your heart, I will love it.” ‘I already love you.’ He thought, he swallowed the words down though. He unlocked the door, ignoring his own nerves and pushed the door open.

His room had several big windows with a window seat, overlooking the acres and acres of land. There were shelves along one wall, several filled with books already, and movies. There were several plants hanging near the window seat. The walls were a muted blue/gray color and the sheets were chocolate color with what looked like a dozen pillows. The ceiling however was covered in a projection it looked like. It was too real to be painted but too artificial to be real. It was soothing and inviting and had just the right things to make him feel welcomed into his new home.

“The ceiling is something Shuri helped with. It is a projection from tech in the top of your walls. You can change it to project and sky from anywhere. Just ask SKYNET.” Bucky looked at you in awe. You had worked so hard to make him a place to call his own. “There are some books, movies, video games. The computer and tablet and phone are loaded to go with logins and apps and payment methods, I wrote down all that in a notebook in the desk too. I have a re-education guide for pop culture there too, same one I used for Steve except yours is more cause documentaries and I know you’d enjoy it more. I stocked the kitchenette with stuff already, nothing super perishable but snack foods and such.” You were rambling to cover your nerves; you both knew it. The more you spoke the more embarrassed you got. The more you talked the more Bucky felt his whole world shift, his entire existence tightened, to you and only you.

Recovery was hard, especially had been hard on him. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing or where he was going. He was just floating, purposeless until you.

“Do you like it?” Bucky realized he had been staring not at the room but at you while you were talking. He could see the love and care you put into the room, not just the room but into your wordless confession.

“Yeah, I love you.” Bucky grabbed your hand, pulling you into a tight hug.

#saundrasays #bonkyshalfwayto1k #saundraswriting #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff

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overclockedroulette · 4 years

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so here's that fic with avarice and vega i promised! ages ago! it also just so happens to be the first time they met :)

also! a reminder that the situation with chio was incredibly traumatic! he's fine with literally any other physical contact (a little starved for it, actually), but he won't let anyone touch his neck. totally nothing to do with having needles shoved into his neck repeatedly for several weeks to forcibly drug him into complacency.

it is such a surprise vega hasn't been killed in a lab 'accident' yet.

they are insufferable together, but at least vega is a half-decent role model. sort of. i mean. he's like 60% more mentally stable so that's gotta count for something. at least he Tries to fit into polite society.

~~~

When Fabrica had told him he would be working with another person, Avarice didn’t question it. A minor hindrance, sure, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He wouldn’t complain to a monarch - especially one with such a high level of influence such as Miss Fabrica Kiriatta (not to her face, anyway). He knew his etiquette. He could be civil.

“Hello,” a changeling (they weren’t normally this obvious, were they?) with long, pale hair outstretched their hand to him. “Avarice, right? From Aublilon? Is it true that they raise you workers from birth, there?”

Avarice raised an eyebrow. “Charming. It is. How about your name, darling?”

“Oh! My mistake. Vega Mochizuki. Polaris.”

“Polaris?” He put on a mock-interested voice. He couldn’t help himself. “Is it true you’re all trust-fund cowards spoonfed directly by the richest people alive?”

Pause. Neither of them broke eye contact.

“Well, aren’t you the feisty one?” Vega teased, “Definitely on your high horse for a trained dog.”

“Trained dog?” Avarice mused, still refusing to take his eyes off the changeling in front of him. “That’s an interesting way to say ‘naturally talented’. No need for jealousy, sweetheart.”

Vega let out a short laugh, incredulous. “Jealous? You were raised like a show animal, what is there to be jealous of?”

“Oh, just let me think…” he mocked, “Resolve, intelligence, talent, general superiority-”

“-lack of free will, non-existent social skills, ignorance of the outside world, probably some serious mental health issues,” Vega listed on his fingers, taking no small amount of satisfaction in the affronted noise that Avarice made when he mentioned that last one. “Do I need to go on?”

“Point taken, Pulsar lapdog.”

“Oh! So the circus lion’s a crackpot conspiracy theorist, too!”

“Oh, please.” Avarice rolled his eyes. “Spare me the theatrics, we all know where you get your ‘government funding’.”

“As if money laundering and tax evasion is any better?”

“Better than being another Pulsar lackey.”

Vega stepped forward, the smallest hint of frustration in his voice. “We aren’t with the Pulsars.”

Avarice just smirked and shrugged in response, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Of course not, dear. And I’d appreciate a little more respect, if you don’t mind. Drop the attitude.”

“Were you trained to talk like that? Speaking of which, if I told you to roll over, would you do it?”

“Prick,” Avarice hissed.

“Mutt.”

“Pig.”

“Bitch.”

“Insect.”

“Freak.”

“Pulsar sugar baby.”

“Aubilon showdog.”

“Fucking third-rate-”

“Am I interrupting something?” Both parties - who were now very much within a sword’s-length of each other - turned at Fabrica’s voice. “No, please, do continue. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing you both at each other’s throats.”

Vega coughed. “I apologise, ma’am. How long have you been here?”

“The whole time,” she smiled. “I don’t mind, but please keep personal affairs and grudges outside of work. You understand?”

They both nodded, albeit glaring the other down the whole time. Fabrica smiled, not believing it for a second. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

There were a few moments after she swept out of the door, as they both waited for her footsteps to become inaudible. Vega was the first to speak.

“I want to test something, if you don’t mind.”

“I mind,” he insisted, quite firmly. That didn’t stop Vega from turning on his heel to face him, an insufferable grin on his face, and pointing one finger in his direction.

“Sit.”

Avarice recognised a command spell being cast: he had quite the array of experience with the feeling - an impulse that wasn’t quite his shooting through his body, unexpected and unwanted, as uncontrollable as blinking or breathing. The recognition did not, however, stop him from collapsing into a cross-legged position the second the words left Vega’s lips, pain shooting through his legs as they hit the ground with force. He at least had the dignity not to cry out, especially since Vega’s laughing was starting to get on his nerves.

“Oh! So you are like a dog!”

“Piss off,” he muttered, starting to stand up. Vega cleared his throat.

“Ah-ah! Stay.”

He froze. He knew that was another spell, but yet again he found himself returning to his original position, unmoving and seething. Vega knelt down to his level, locking eyes with Avarice and smirking. “Who’s a good boy?”

“I will fucking kill you,” he spat.

“Oh yeah?” he hummed, placing a hand on his neck and rubbing a thumb across it playfully, not noticing the other scientist freeze up. “Reckon you’d suit a collar, psycho?”

Avarice’s breath hitched. He couldn’t respond. Normally, he’d bat his hand away before he could think too much about it, but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t move and all he could focus on was the hand on his neck and he felt like he was choking. This wasn’t Chio. This wasn’t the same situation. He shouldn’t be feeling like this right now; he shouldn’t feel like this at all, feeling like this was weak but he couldn’t move and there was a hand on his neck and fuck he felt so unbearably helpless. It hurt. It hurt, and he was helpless, and he couldn’t control it, he couldn’t control anything, and his chest stung and his head was all static and he didn’t know how long he’d been hyperventilating. He barely even knew where he was. This was weak. This was weak, and he’d pay for it. He’d pay for it like he had with Chio. His head hurt. Everything was static.

He barely registered Vega dispelling his magic, or the awkward attempted reassurances. He did, however, register the pressure on his neck transferring down to wrap clumsily around his torso, and he certainly felt himself collapse his whole weight forwards and rest his head in the ruffles of Vega’s shirt as he evened out his breathing. This was fine. This wasn’t Chio.

“Hey- hey, it’s- I mean, I- I didn’t mean to do that,” Vega finally settled on as Avarice came to his senses, after a few hastily stammered explanations that he half-hoped he was too far gone to hear. “You’re alright?”

There was a long pause. Avarice managed to push himself away from Vega as harshly as possible, getting to his feet albeit a little shakily. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mind telling me what I did to elicit that reaction?”

“Why?” The response was instant and defensive. Vega hadn’t meant it as an attack, but the reaction he was getting made it clear that Avarice had taken it as one. He explained as carefully as he could.

“So that I don’t cause it again. Obviously.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” he retorted, looking not unlike a cornered puppy. Vega sighed.

“I’m not going to hurt you, you paranoid fuck, just tell me why you freaked out.”

Avarice blinked slowly. Narrowed his eyes. Then let out a small sigh, and pointed to his neck, elaborating only with a hesitant “don’t.”

“Alright. That’s all I wanted to know,” he shrugged. “I’d ask why, but it could be anything with you Aubilon lot, so I’d probably rather not know.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re a prick. Mind doing me a favour?”

“I do mind, actually.”

“Cool,” he shrugged off, disregarding Vega’s response entirely in favour of taking a quarterstaff to the back of his knees and watching him collapse, letting out a surprised yelp. He knelt down to his level and smiled, taking out a vial of who-knows-what from his pocket and holding it out to him without once breaking eye contact. “Oh, and you didn’t think I’d let you get away with disrespecting me like that, did you, sweetheart? We have some testing to do.”

Vega averted his eyes nervously, taking the vial with hands that were much less stable than he thought they were. “I’m- I’m not drinking this.”

Avarice leant in, still smiling. “Oh, but you are. Don’t worry, though, it’s perfectly safe. Or, at least, it won’t kill you. I hope.”

“You can’t make me-”

“Can’t I?” he hummed, in a tone that suggested that he absolutely could. “Would you like to take your chances?”

A pause. Then Vega shuddered, said a prayer, and downed the vial.

#IT'S ABOUT THE RAPIDLY SHIFTING POWER DYNAMIC #they're so insufferable (affectionate)#vega can be insensitive but hey. he isn't as bad as avarice. he's trying.#tw panic attack #if i need to tag anything else lmk #oc whump #whump #hurt/comfort #everything i write turns into angst #help #avarice kiriatta #vega mochizuki

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flow-green · 3 years

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Autumn!

Finally! My season has come. Yes, I confess, I am that forever annoying autumn girl who has a weak spot for colourful leaves, pumpkin spice, mulled wine, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings marathon and swirling herself around in falling leaves. BUT, in my defence, I was like that way before it all became mainstream and hip. I guess it is true that the seaon you were born at is the closest to your heart, which reminds me that in less than month it will be My Special Day I Get All The Attention I Want.

Anywho, I have now hauled all my Harry Potter themed clothes, autumn skirts, boots, sweaters and scarves from the closets and the very first Pumpkin Spice Latte has been drank. Have not yet baked apple pie, but this is because I have no access to oven. But, I think this issue will be solved fairly soon, fingers crossed...

Every day when running on my favourite route I see how leaves turn more colourful. It’s hauntinlgy beautiful to see nature die. It has its elements of rebirth, which makes autumn so special I guess: sometimes you have to let old things die for new things to come alive.

This year, autumn is somehow especially rememberable and sweet, because I think now, after years of being numb and dead to the world, I have started to live fully in the moment and have insane load of motivation. I have now been unemployed for almost two months. The beginning was difficult, I have to admit. I was stubborn and did not let myself to relax. I still carried my pack of cigarettes with me whereevere I went to have one whenever things got tough, and I kept biting my nails. But in August I discovered a completely new way of living and thinking whenever I was alone and took some time formyself, wether it be while running, doing manicure, meditating... It felt like these final negative emotions and low points had finally cleared my mind and I knew that this moment here is where I let everything go: everything that was in the past and what tried to define me; all the fights and destruction of self-confidence, panic attacks, losses, quittings, crying. And for the first time I actually listened what my mind and body has to say and what it needs. For the first time in YEARS I went for my runs with a complete new way of mindset. I took several days for myself only, when I took care of my nails, hair, skin, took up bullet journaling again.

I discovered some new talents and hobbies: I created my very first home page for our car repair shop company, I tried out accounting and journaling in local newspaper.

And now I am finally in that state where I have no rush. I take time to fix myself slowly and steadily, no express quick fix will not suffice anymore. I don’t rush to find a new job. Instead, I keep my eyes open and send out my resumes whenever I find something that interests me. Luckily I have an awesome supervisor from unemployment office who told me straight to first and foremost take care of myself before rushing into something that breaks me down again. How awesome is that, no pressure!

So, what have I been doing these past few months? Well, my main priority is to take a closer look at my physical and mental health. I have now finally learned to listen to my body. Of course there are days that I still fight and argue with myself and tell myself that oh my god, what a fat cow, but luckily these days grow more seldom. I can finally run the way I need, want and can. I go for walks not because I need my 10 000 steps, but just because I want to awe all the beauty around me and have a healthy conversation with myself. I do not rush, head first into the new day with all the responsibilities, instead I take my time in bed at least 15 minutes and be grateful for upcoming day. My sleeping patter has been stable for past 2 months, I no longer have my epileptic morning seizures, my hair is shiny and nails are healthy. I notice my surroundings and nature. We now take so many random trips with our caravan just to go someplace, spend time in nature and just... live.

I started to journal again, ordered myself a corgeous new diary and picked up my long forgotten hobby. I draw and doodle again, I create my planners, goals and collections.

I tipped my toes once again into kite surfing, after a year. Of course I failed badly! But, at least I pulled my self together and did it anyway.

I keep a sharp eye on my eating habbits. No, I don’t forbid or follow a strick diet. I rather observe a larger image: what kind of foods, time frames, portion sizes influence me in what way, what triggers emotions, when does my belly rumble and when is it nicely full; when do I get massive gravings for sweets and when would I kill for something fresh and healthy. I rediscovered my long lost passion for cooking, even though I am terribly rusty... I do miss baking and experimenting a lot!

I won’t add too much on my plate, thoigh. At the moment, I have paused my passion for BodyBalance, but this is my next little goal: to let go of my fear of “I am not good enough anymore, I cannot do this anymore!” and find my passion for BB. But I am not in a rush. I will do it as soon as I feel that now is the time.

Every day I am grateful that I am a part of a small and extremely weird little family. The three of us have become so close, we do our own special trips over the country and I am so thrilled to see that our critical and tough times have transformed into harmonic, full of laughter, adventurous days.

And the last bit of information piece: I think we are now moving towards our very own home... I don’t want to jinx it, but it is highly possible that soon this travelous trio will settle down for a bit in their own apartment... but more on that in my next post ;).

#my life #my journey #ed recovery #traveller #blog

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extemporaneousmusings · 4 years

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2020 reflections below

To be honest, 2020 has been the best year I’ve had since 2016. Obviously on a global scale it has been absolutely devastating, and there are aspects of my life that were significantly impacted by the pandemic—I had to leave Greece suddenly in March, several months earlier than anticipated, and in doing so lost some crucial time that I was supposed to have spent with the physical materials of my dissertation—but on a personal level this year has been the most stable and comfortable I’ve been since my accident in 2017. I was not dealing with a massive physical or mental health crisis, or the immediate aftermaths of either of those things, and that is something I do not take lightly.

I spent the first 3 months of the year hiking across Greece, basically. It was really tough—I was pretty depressed, although my meds had just been boosted so I was feeling better than I had in fall of 2019, and obviously missing Ian and Macy was not an easy thing to sit with—but I did it! I had literally planned my entire life for the past 5 years around this time in Greece, and even though we didn’t completely finish the program and the scheduled trips, I still accomplished what I set out to do: I was able to do the hikes and got to explore the country that I love. After my accident, my sole goal was to be able to get my ankle to a place where I could do the program. It was really fucking hard, and there’s still so much more work I can do on my ankle (which is a source of deep resentment for me, something I’m working on) but at the end of the day, I got myself to a place where I could, with some difficulty, do this really physically strenuous thing that had been such a major goal of mine for years. I got to travel the Greek countryside and see hundreds of archaeological sites in a way that is basically impossible unless you’re doing it with the American School. Mentally I was not as present as I would have liked to be, which is something I think I’ll always regret, but I gave it all I had, mentally and physically. Even if I am hazy on a lot of the details, I’ll remember the exultant physical sensations of reaching a peak and taking in the view below, the sweet succulent taste of oranges in the height of their season, plucked straight off the tree, searching every museum for my pots, pushing myself physically to the limit every day but still being able to wake up and do it again the next, trying regional cuisine from across the country, and the camaraderie that all of us built together on that bus and on those hikes. And of course, the saving grace and defining point of the school year for me was spending time with Ev. He already was one of my best friends, so the opportunity to go on this adventure together was so exciting, but he really kept me sane, made me laugh with his stupid fucking jokes, stayed in the back of the pack with me when I was having especially bad ankle days, and our companionship brought me so much joy and support. It’s very likely that we’ll never live in the same place together again, and I will always cherish the time we had together this past year.

My life since returning to Cincy in March has been very stable and consistent. Except for having to TA on campus on Friday’s during the fall, we’ve both just been at home. E’s been out of a job the whole time, but we are very lucky that (bc Cincy is so affordable) just my grad student salary has been able to financially support us. Money is tight, all my savings are gone after Macy’s surgery in July, but we are very lucky to have support systems to rely upon should we need to (fingers crossed we won’t), and that for now, just my income alone can pay all of the bills so that Ian does not have to be on the front lines at the bar, physically interacting with everyone who is still comfortable and selfish enough to be out partying during a global pandemic.

The biggest joy for me of this year was getting to spend 8 beautiful months with Macy. We had her for 3 months before I left for Greece last September, but I feel so blessed to have had more time with the three of us as a family this year, and to spend so much uninterrupted time with her because we were just in the apartment all of the time. I’ve written what seems like a lot about losing her, so I’m not really going to dwell on it, but despite her death I am still so happy to have had the time with her that I did, and to have loved and been so loved in return. I’m hopeful that I can build a relationship with Lulu like I had with Macy, and that as she settles in and settles down, and becomes secure in this new home, that our new family of three can thrive. Another element to this is the fact that basically our only physical socialization with friends came from going on dog walks, mainly with S&D. Since March we’ve seen them almost weekly and it’s been such a good routine and way to see them safely. We’ll all be getting more of a workout with Lulu, though. She’s much more intense about walks than Macy was.

When I first got back from Greece, I needed to just luxuriate in being home, and shortly after that I fell into the hockey rabbit hole. Which has been lovely, truly! I had been feeling a bit stagnant fandom wise, and it was so nice to have a whole new world opened to me, and to see a bunch of my mutuals all going through the process simultaneously was so fun. I still haven’t written anything, and I’m definitely not as involved as a lot of people, but I’ve never been someone who is super funny in quippy posts or makes a lot of connections quickly. But I’ve really been enjoying it, and I’m hoping that in 2021 I’ll be able to post some fic and make some more friends. My ephemeral relationships with people on tumblr have been important to me for many years, but I definitely have appreciated it the most this past year. Tumblr is a really big part of my life, and I love interacting with people/when people interact with my personal posts. It’s nice to have found a little pocket of the internet where I am safe and comfortable and around people I genuinely like.

Getting into hockey did divert my attention from my mental health, and the ways it was impacting my work, for a solid two months, though. I very much used it as a crutch to avoid some bigger issues that needed my focus, which I was diverting to think about big men fucking each other. In August I started seeing a therapist again. We had worked together briefly after my manic episode, because my old therapist had gotten a new job so she took me on for like a month before I left for Greece, and working with her again has been so helpful. I am so fortunate to have healthcare through grad school that makes going to therapy extremely affordable. It’s seriously been a saving grace for me. By working on my mental health consistently I have brought myself to a better, more stable and comfortable place than I’ve been in in years, and I feel empowered to continue on this path to keep accumulating skills and mental fortitude to help me in the future.

As a result of my consistent work on my mental heath, I’ve also been able to develop a much better, healthier relationship with work/my research more specifically. This summer I was in a place where I felt like it was impossible for me to write my proposal, let alone an actual dissertation, but I did write my proposal! And I’ve been building up routines and stamina and now feel like I actually can get this PhD. Which is great. I know it’s not going to be easy, and that I have a lot of difficulty ahead of me still, but I feel very confident in my ideas, and I am so much better equipped to handle things than before.

So yeah, I think that’s pretty much it. For 2021, I want to just keep going in the path that I’ve been forging for myself. The next things I’ll be focusing on are more intentionally working with my ankle, to try and alleviate the somewhat antagonistic relationship I have with it, and to feel more physically capable. I think that re-integrating yoga into my life will be big here, it’s been really helpful for me before, but I’ve let it slip, and then we’ll see what else I can do to help with this. I also want to continue to reinforce a work routine that suits me and maintain/adjust it when I (almost certainly) make the move back to Athens in September. And finally, I really want to post some TK/Patty fic! I have some ideas, some word docs, some (imo) well-selected lyrics for titles, and I just need to dig in a little more and try and unclench my mental knot of perfectionism, as I’ve been learning to ease it with regards to work stuff.

#personal #I think this is actually the first end of year reflections post I've made on here #in the like 9 years I've had this blog #much to reflect on this year I guess

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elegantmoonchild · 6 years

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WIP Game

The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

I was tagged by the wonderful @jimalim a while back. It took me a bit to compile all the projects I’m working on, but here they are! Fingers crossed that some actually get finished 😂

Bughead:

For All Time — World traveler and photographer Betty Cooper knew her entire life that Jughead Jones was meant to be the love of her life. When they finally meet, somewhere in the shops of an old Brooklyn borough, he is taken aback by her sudden insistence that they belong, however he is subjected to her theories as they continue on their assignment together, backpacking across Europe collecting tales for his travel blog. When he begins to have visions of her death, however, he begins to question whether what she says is true, and as their relationship deepens, he starts to give in to the emotions she claims they’ll share together. When signs point to her impending demise, can he work to stop the clock in time or will he lose the one person he never knew he needed until he had her? And should she perish, can he fight to get her back or will he learn that sometimes love may not be enough to transcend time?

Snapshots — What’s a story only half-told?An afternoon of reading old diaries and manuscripts turns into a lifetime of memories played before Betty and Jughead as they dig through the past. What were the moments leading up to the romance of sophomore year that stood out to Betty in her diaries, Jughead in the manuscript he wrote about his story with the girl-next-door? How did their epic love story play out for the couple beyond the events of Jason Blossom’s murder that shook the bedrock of Riverdale? -- Currently on AO3

INSIDE -- Stepping into her father’s shoes was always the plan for ambitious detective Betty Cooper, her endless dream of taking down the bad guy imprinted on every step of her path from childhood to adult. She had worked hard to gain the respect of her superiors, and suddenly she lands the opportunity of a lifetime – going undercover to investigate the shocking murder of Jason Blossom, the son of a well-known businessman in Riverdale, NY. The job was simple: get beneath the surface, lie low, and pay attention. However, when Betty is assigned to infiltrate the Serpents, a notorious gang in the Southside part of town, she finds it harder than expected to blend in, catching the eye of nefarious leader Jughead Jones. Will she make it out alive with the answers she craves, or will she find herself stepping in the path of a very dangerous man, locked in the snake pit that she can’t escape?

In Her Own Words -- At the young age of 19, Elizabeth Cooper, daughter of the Earl of Cooper, found herself courted and wooed by the famous heir to the House of Andrews, the crowned prince who she was to wed. After a hasty engagement, a whirlwind of press and protocol, Betty found herself surrounded by people but still felt so alone, her mental health taking a dive as her marriage began to crumble around her feet. Her husband’s secret affair with long-term friend Veronica and the spotlight of the world upon her both lead to years of self-harm and isolation, and soon the only joy she feels is the sparkle of laughter she shares with the Prince’s personal secretary, Forsythe “Jughead” Jones. She puts on a brave face beneath the scrutinizing gaze of the public eye, but inside she’s falling apart, and it isn’t long before she learns she has to push back and fight for herself or else she won’t survive. Will the reaffirmed belief in true, albeit forbidden love with her close friend and confidante claim her downfall or will it give her the strength to stand on her own two feet and become the Queen she was always meant to be?Or the retelling of Princess Diana’s tragic, yet inspiring life based off the documentary “Diana: In Her Own Words”. This story will be interview style in the first person with Princess Elizabeth “Betty” Cooper with memories and flashbacks retelling her ill-fated romance and involvement with the House of Andrews, and her future beyond the weight of the crown.

But Now I See -- Ever since she was a child, Betty Cooper felt she was meant for something greater, meant to make the world shine brighter. As she grew older, and life became too difficult, she sought comfort in the church, soothing her emotional scars with the words of God and Christ. Devoted to her cause and her faith, she sets forth on a course to take a vow of postulancy. For most of his life, renowned pianist Jughead Jones always kept his head down, choosing to create his own masterpieces in the shadows, free without the confinements of society. His life is forever changed, however, when he gets into a horrific car accident, the end result being a crippling blindness that makes him question everything he thought he knew.When the two meet in the hospital ward and strike up a friendship, they begin to doubt their beliefs in both faith and purpose. Will Betty complete her journey to become a nun or will she realize her purpose lies in the heart of another, and will Jughead finally learn to believe in the good of fate or will he succumb to the demons that haunt him forever?

That’s Why I’m Here -- oneshot where Betty and Jughead meet at an AA meeting, bonding over their broken parents

Title still undecided -- Betty is a sex talk show host who is, in reality, fairly inexperienced with good sex. Jughead is a journalist who tries to uncover the truth about the sensationalized, famous show host. She ends up getting him to break down his walls while he teaches her a thing or two about good lovemaking. Basically an excuse to write porn with good plot.

SweetVee:

Title still undecided -- serial killer AU where Veronica and Sweet Pea try to track down a killer obsessed with Veronica

Title still undecided -- Veronica takes her daughter with her to live at Alice Cooper’s ranch after her messy separation from her husband where she meets ranch hand Sweet Pea.

Relatively Stable -- For the first time since medical school, Veronica Lodge, MD was on top of her game. One of the youngest and most sought after doctors at Riverdale General, she exuded both sophistication and grace as she fought to save life after life in the Intensive Care Unit. But when an ambitious new nurse named Sweet Pea challenges her authority, she takes it personally, and the two butt heads by the bedside, patient after patient.When a young man comes through the Emergency Room one night, bleeding out from a massive car wreck, Veronica and Sweet Pea have to put aside their differences to save his life. Fighting to keep their patient stable starts to bring them closer, their feelings becoming far more carnal than clinical, and despite their numerous differences Veronica may learn that Sweet Pea is just what the doctor ordered.Will both their relationship and their patient survive the night? Find out in Relatively Stable, a medical narrative that asks the question – is love the best medicine or can the heart only take so much before it arrests and dies?

On The Run -- Veronica Lodge was on the verge of seventeen, and all she wanted to do was forget about the responsibilities her parents expected of her and revel in the passion she shared with secret boyfriend, bad boy biker Sweet Pea, who had a reputation that made her rich father’s blue blood boil. Defying her parents’ wishes, she sneaks out of her penthouse bedroom one evening for a twilight filled with freedom, experimental sex, and cocaine-fueled excitement. However, what starts as an act of teenage rebellion quickly turns into a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, a run-in with the Ghoulies leading to an all-out brawl that spells trouble for the ill-fated lovebirds. As Sweet Pea and Veronica flee for their lives, on the run from violent gangs, vigilant law enforcement, and her family’s disappointment, Veronica has to make a choice — give up the rush to enter adulthood with a safe, respectable reputation or throw it all away for the bad boy with a cold sneer and a heart of gold.

My Favorite Piece of You -- Cakes, tarts, and pies -- all delectable treats served up at the Serpentine Bakery, the lunch time haunt that ambitious businesswoman Veronica Lodge frequents every single day. For the past year, she’s been coming to the cafe, indulging in its simple pleasures, until one day she unknowingly insults the attractive yet surly owner, motorcycle enthusiast Sweet Pea. After a sour meet cute, the two begin to form a connection over the concoctions that he creates behind the counter of the bakery, an appetizing alliance that takes them both by surprise. However, over time they begin to wonder if the chemistry between them can withstand a dose of sugar or if their relationship has too much spice to be a good thing. They’ll have to knead out the kinks in their peppery personalities if they want their love to rise, but one thing’s for sure -- Veronica Lodge has got one Hell of a sweet tooth.

Multiship:

To Riverdale, with love -- What is Christmas to the stranger next to you? Is it a time to sing joyous carols door to door in the freezing cold? Is it a time to curl up next to a fire with a cup of hot cocoa while surrounded by loved ones? Is it a time to bury beneath blankets to hide from the sorrow of what a Christmas without that special someone feels like? Follow along in this seasonal treat as nine stories weave in and out like holiday tinsel in this Love Actually inspired fanfic, including the romance and friendships of nine different pairings in Riverdale, the town where one might just find that love truly is all around. -- COMING CHRISTMAS SEASON 2018

There’s also a whole host of one shot ideas and other multi-chapter fics I have saved, but haven’t quite touched yet.

If you’d like to know more about any of these projects, please feel free to reach out to me!!!

#upcoming projects #works in progress #bughead #bughead fanfiction #sweetvee #sweetvee fanfiction #multiship fanfiction

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canadian-buckbeaver · 6 years

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Down the Portal Hole (ch. 1)

Welp. This turned into a multi-chapter endevenur... I’ll work on the next chapter later. @saiyurimai and @the-tinkerbell0522, enjoy! @lina-lines, @nikki-on-edge and @babypizzawonderland prepare for next chapter

Based off a discussion with Sai, and a dream. OCs and Sonas galore!

Sai’s mansion has grown in size and holds many monsters and humans. Friends all alike they spend their days enjoying the sun or working on their own many projects.

But when Gaster’s project fails, they find out that the multi-verse is far more complex than any of them imagined. How the smallest different decision or coincidence can lead to the biggest difference.

Just off the mainland of the USA, located on the equator line, there is a small, unassuming island. It is one that not many know of, and the majority of those who know of it, live there. Only accessible by an hour's boat ride, this little island is paradise to those who call it home. The island itself was perfect. Warm and tropical, but not too hot, flowers, trees and other shrubbery grew wild here - shielding the mansion from other, unassuming eyes. Here, monsters and human's live in perfect harmony, all living and loving under the same roof.

Sai and Sebastian first built the mansion many years ago in an attempt to escape the many of the politics that surrounded her home life, and protect him against the Anti-Monster/Demon Groups that walked around unchecked. As the years slowly passed, the mansion slowly grew, expanding in both size and the number of occupants. Sai couldn't remember what exactly what caused the trickling of roommates, but she never complained. She had many friends and mates and was more than happy to share her place with them. How they all came to live in the mansion, that is a story for another day.

Despite life in the mansion being perfect and lazy, the occupants never found themselves bored. The days were never the same, there was always some new chaos to them. One the day that IT happened, the days started out on just another day for them. It appeared to be just another normal day at the mansion, perhaps one that was even quieter than usual for them. There were no meetings with the nearby townspeople, no meetings about selling the energy that the little island produced, nor were there any grocery runs that needed to occur in town. It was supposed to be a calm, relaxing day.

The kitchen was an orchestra of scents and sounds. Pots smoothly bubbled and simmered on the stove under the meticulous eye of the demon butler. Sesshomaru was, as usual, sunbathing in the front yard, his long white hair smoothly blowing in the breeze. Edge and Berry were busy working the vegetable garden with the ex-demon lord, Asmodeus. Vixen and Deacon were holed up in one of the many rooms, suffering through the dragon's heat together, just the way that Vixen loved to do.

All while everyone hummed and lived and loved, there was a little group gathered in the lab of the basement. Here was where Gaster worked and experimented, working days and nights on his research. And today, today he said that he had something to show them. Something that would revolutionize the world as they knew it. In the dim light Grillby, Sai, Stretch, Alana and the three babies gathered around Gaster. The atmosphere was tense, unhelped by Gaster's refusal to answer questions until the moment where "all would be revealed".

Alana's little orange ears still flattened slightly as she watched the scientist, her entire body trembling. Her own Gaster had been none-too-friendly with her, leaving her with mental scars that she would be battling her entire life. Even though she knew that this was not 'her' Gaster, he looked too close for comfort. Slim and Black were often her rocks, supporting her, but they were currently busy training with the Undertale Undyne. "So when will everything be revealed?" she asked, her glorious fox tail wrapping around her like a security blanket. As if by instinct, she pressed herself further against the wall when the purple eye lights met her hazel ones.

Gaster smiled at her, making sure that she could see where his hands were. That he was no threat to her. "Very soon, Alana," he told her. "Just as soon as Bucky shows up..."

As if on cue, Bucky ran through the lab doors, her curls wild and free, blue eyes wide. "SORRY I'M LATE," she panted, glancing around at the assembled group. "I would have been here sooner, but someone drew on my cheeks with red lipstick..." she said, glaring at her mate.

Stretch chuckled, walking over and pulling her close to himself and Honey. "To be fair, you did fall asleep on the couch. What was I supposed to do? Ignore the perfect opportunity to perfect my art?" Honey giggled and cooed, reaching out to her mother.

Bucky grumbled back at him, eyes flashing but took she took Honey in her arms, holding her close. “You just wait…” she warned him.

Sai decided not to mention that there was still the faint outline of a heart on Bucky's cheek. It was sort of endearing in a way. "So we are all here," she said, turning to Gaster. "Now, what is your big surprise?" Gaster was one of her two fiances, and easily the smartest one in the entire house. Her other fiance, Grillby, raised his brows as if to mutely agree with her.

"Just a moment," Gaster said, clicking a button on a nearby remote. Apparently, he had decided to record the great reveal today. With a great flourish, Gaster reached up and tugged the sheet from the contraption behind him. "For years I have been able to shortcut and instantly appear where I desired to go. A trait that has been passed down to the eldest son of every AU. I have long debated the pros and cons of developing this power, knowing how it could revolutionize the commercial world. Fresh food any time of the year. Real Japanese green tea at the snap of a finger. Mail would be instantaneous, no longer waiting for the delivery of cards or parcels. And health care would no longer be forced to risk the death of vital organs or blood. I have managed to harness the power of my shortcuts and project into this machine!"

The machine would have been a perfect ring if it did not have the little outposts of lights. The purple lights shimmered ominously at them, making the entire group shiver. Made of solid steel, it stood about eight feet tall, towering over the little group. Sai gave a little whistle. "Impressive," she whispered, her eyes reflecting the purple light. He never failed to surprise her.

"Reminds me of Stargate," Bucky muttered, earning a snort from both Stretch and Alana, and an amused but annoyed look from Sai.

Gaster puffed out his chest, bathing in their reactions. "I have run simulation after simulation. This is pure perfection. No accidents, no mishaps. The portal is stable and strong. Once I am able to better control how much solar energy it requires, I can start commercially producing them, putting them into every household. Eliminating the need and use of cars and airplanes, the carbon dioxide output would decrease. Without the need for roads, farms can be built and trees planted. Global Warming will become nothing but a thing of a past!"

'He's a little excited about this, isn't he?' Grillby signed to them. Despite his nonchalant words, his eyes glimmered behind his glasses. He too was excited for his friend and lover.

Alana's ears twitched towards the contraption, biting her lip softly. "Have you tried it out for real?" she asked softly. "Without the computer tests?"

At her quiet words, Gaster deflated slightly. "Well. No. Nothing 'real' yet," he admitted. "But that is why you guys are here. In front of everyone, I will try out, and prove the effectiveness of my product." Quickly crossing the floor to a nearby computer, Gaster typed furiously, activating the machine. With a small popping sound, a rippling sheen spread in the little ring. The sheen, like the lights, was a dull, flickering purple. The more that Sai looked at it, the more she realized that it matched the same colour as Gaster's magic.

"Stars..." Stretch whispered. Cornel and Ignatius looked at the portal, chattering and babbling to one another in a language that only they understood.

Honey shrunk back with a small whimper, hiding in Bucky's arms. "Me too, Honey," Bucky whispered, eyeing the portal with distrust. There was something about it that she just couldn’t put her finger on…

Gaster stepped in front of the freshly-formed portal and addressed the crowd. "I will now enter the portal. The coordinates I entered are of the far edge of the Underground forest, closest to the little area where I grew up." He looked around. "Would anyone like to come with?" he asked.

Grillby and Sai stepped forward immediately. "We will," Sai said, cuddling the little flame-haired twins, "it would be great to show them where you grew up." Grillby nodded in agreement.

"Alright. We shall make a family outing out of it," Gaster said with a smile. Reaching out, he wrapped an arm around both Sai's and Grillby's waist, propelling them forward. "Watch and be amazed," he told the rest of the group. The rest of the group looked unsettled and worried, watching as they walked on.

Together, they stepped over the outer rim of the ring, stepping through the portal.

The magic felt like cold water, Sai realized as she shivered. It felt cold and heavy, drawing her deeper into the magical depths. Still, Gaster confidentially propelled them on, heading towards a tiny light and the end of the tunnel.

It was only when the three of them stepped onto snow instead of the tiled floor of the lab that the realization of what they just accomplished hit them. Gone was the lab, gone was the mansion. A dense forest surrounded them, the tops of the trees unable to be made out in the artificial ceiling. Birds were singing, but other than their slight sounds, the forest was silent. "It's so peaceful," Sai whispered. Corbel and Ignatius looked around, cooing softly, feeling their parents' wonder. "Wow," Sai whispered again, "you really did it! You really did it!" The twins giggled and waved their fists in excitement, following their mother's tone. If she was happy this had to be good! Gaster grinned and pulled them all in for a gigantic hug, absolute joy seen on his face. He could support the entire world and make it a better place for their children. For their children's children! He would be a hero...

The crackling and hissing of failing magic popped the feeling of elevation. Slowly the three of them, the twins clutching tightly to Sai's sweater, turned around to look at the portal.

The portal sparked and fizzled behind them before dying completely. Gaster and Grillby stared at the vast emptiness, before looking down to Sai. Her eyes wide, she clutched the twins closer to her. "No… why… what happened?”

"I do not know…” Gaster responded looking paler than before. Grabbing his phone he began to punch numbers into his phone, trying to reach the main computer. "None of my tests… none of the outcomes calculated this. It was supposed to be stable.”

"Yeah well, it isn’t! And now we are stuck here, in God-knows-where!” Sai spat at him, anger consuming her conscious. Gaster had been so confident in his machine and now this happened? It was the cry of one of the twins that brought her back. "It’s ok… we’ll find our way back… somehow.” she promised them, ignoring Gaster’s worried look.

Grillby mentioned to the ground. 'Fresh tracks, about the same size as Sai. Shall we follow? They might lead to shelter or some way out.’

"Good, someone at least has an idea.” Sai snipped, still angry, causing Gaster to flinch. Stomping along, she lead the way through the forest, carrying the twins close to her. She knew that she was being unfair to Gaster, he hadn’t gotten them stuck her on purpose, but she couldn’t stop the venom flowing from her mouth.

They walked for what seemed like hours, the trees blending into one continuous loop. Sai could feel her patience slowly begin to run out as they continued on. Grillby, however, was looking everywhere, puzzled. "What is so interesting about the trees?” Sai finally demanded

‘It’s just… this seems so familiar…’ Grillby signed. 'Familiar but backwards…’

"Backwards?” Gaster asked, now also looking around. "Yes… I see what you mean…”

"Then could someone fill me in?” Sai asked, more and more annoyed. The twins were cold and hungry, some shelter would be nice, as would a nice portal home.

Gaster looked at her. "This is like the Undertale where Grillby and I originally came from, but there are some unique differences. Like things have swapped places…”

"Swapped?” Sai asked, eyes questioning. So they weren’t even in the right area? She was about to ask more when a branch snapped in front of them.

The three of them froze, looking up at each other before slowly turning to the noise.

The person in front of them was slightly smaller than Sai they noticed immediately. Dressed in a pair of jeans and a purple parka, she stared back at them, her breath fogging her glasses.

Hiding her brilliant blue eyes and curls.

“BUCKY!!!!” Sai screamed, handing the twins off to her mates and launching herself at her friend. Bucky stumbled back to catch Sai, almost falling backwards as Sai sobbed into her shoulder. "Oh, thank stars it’s you! We’ve been walking for hours and hours! Gaster’s machine fucked up and sent us to the middle of nowhere and we weren’t sure how we were going to get home, but you seemed to have found us ok, thank Asgore! The twins are hungry and cold and I’ve been a total bitch and hangry…“ the words tumbled from her mouth.

Bucky blinked and gently patted her back, letting Sai cry and sniff. Finally, it was only Sai’s shoulders that were shivering. "Hey now, don’t cry.” she smiled at Sai, offering her a tissue. "Your face will freeze if you continue.“ she shot that familiar smile.

Sai sniffed and gratefully took the tissue, wiping her eyes. "Uh. You’re right as usual, Bucky.” she sniffed, wiping her nose. "What would I do without you?“

Bucky smiled at her. "Well, here’s the thing… I’m not exactly sure how you know me, but I’m always happy to be of help,” she said.

Ice froze Sai’s stomach as she stared at Bucky over the tissue. Bucky… Bucky didn’t recognize her? But… “How? You are literally…”

“How curious…” Gaster said, pulling out his glasses and staring at Bucky, eye lights flickering as he scanned her, paying close attention to her cheek.

“hmm…. mind filling us in on what’s so curious, doc?” a familiar husky voice asked.

“and why you guys are bothering our mate?” a slightly deeper voice asked.

Orange arms appeared from the fog, wrapping around Bucky’s hips. Two tall and lanky Papyruses hovered over her, cigarettes in their teeth, orange eye lights scanning the intruders. One dressed in an orange pullover, the other dressed in an orange and black hoodie. "they seem to know you, Buck,“ Stretch chuckled, nuzzling to her cheek, still watching them closely.

"or perhaps they confuse you for someone else,” Bee suggested, kissing her cheek.

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putris-et-mulier · 7 years

Note

Hey. Can I have some advice, or at least, a moment to vent? I've been living with chronic illness for a while now. Ten months ago it got worse and a few months after that, I found out that I was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis when I was younger. Only my mother never told me until I was complaining about the same damn cough for 5 months. I researched it and behold the symptoms match with the symptoms I've been having and (1/3)

lived with for years. Chronic bronchitis is a leading cause of death. And no one bothered to tell me hey you’ve had a chronic illness for years and yea you probably should get on some kind of regular treatment. Much like my ADHD that my mom didn’t believe I had until I was 18 and compiled enough research to write my own article and couldn’t sit still to watch a movie. Anyway, I moved out, got a job at one of the busiest theme parks in the world, proceeded to get sick several times,and then ended up with a chronic cough that wouldn’t go away. Present time. It’s been 10 months since the cough started and no I still have yet to receive treatment cause doctors are fucking expensive and I have no car. I walk to work and there isn’t a dr near where I live that the buses will take me to. Uber is fucking expensive and I’ve got bills to pay. Doctors also give me the worst anxiety. When I went to get my ADHD treated the dr gave me a panic attack and told me that I was wastingwas wasting her time cause I couldn’t afford to pay her up front and the secretary was fucking up the insurance. They don’t listen to me, often give the wrong medicine, and/or always, ALWAYS, have something to say about my fucking weight as though that is what is making me sick. Like yea, could I lose a few pounds? Sure. Is it what’s making me ill? No. And I don’t have the fucking money to spend to try to find a decent doctor that will give me the treatment I need before I end up dying.Today, my chest felt like someone was squeezing my lungs and then setting fire to them while I couldn’t breath. I honestly was afraid that I was gonna pass out. And I understand I do need to get treatment but if it comes down to a dr or having fun and making all the hours I work and the constant stress worth it then I’m gonna go have fun. Cause I work way too much (50 hr/6 day weeks)for someone in my current state of health. I just don’t know. I’m tired and stressed and I have like no Energy™and just sorry for the long ass rant but you seem like the only blog I follow that would probably at least know what I’m dealing with. If that’s the right way to put it? I just feel like its gonna come down between me dying but at least having some semblance of fun or surviving my illness and not much else. I can’t afford both.

As hard as it is for people born disabled, I’m very very lucky to have been put on the disability system when I was a baby.

People think it’s so easy to get on disability because everyone’s idea of a disabled person is an adult mutate that was physically injured (not that it’s easy for them either) but when you show up and say “I’m sick” but look healthy they disregard you because… Where have you been all these years? If you were really sick you would’ve come earlier.

No one believes you.

I wish I had advice but as of now this is the status quo. You are very lucky to have a documented diagnosis so you do have a little bit of a step up but the truth of the matter is that you have to give up your life as it is now if you want any help.

It’s going to take years, intentionally confusing and convoluted paperwork, neglect, humiliation, verbal abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, and depending on the disability also physical abuse. And that’s just to get on disability in the first place.

Then a few times each year you have to convince them you still need it. I was born disabled and I have a physically visible disability and I still have to keep proving that God hasn’t cured me.

This is why we are disabled.

If you seek treatment you’re going to have to move outside of society. You can’t keep working, you can’t go do anything fun without considering how it may look if you get caught, you have to move in with family or friends that aren’t sick who will make you sicker with all the stress of being gas lighted not just outside but also inside your home. Or you get institutionalized.

What you’re going through is very common. What you’ve decided on is also very common.

I did it myself as much as possible and was just crossing my fingers hoping that I died before I got to the point where I couldn’t pretend anymore.

I did a lot of fun things and I had a lot of great times. Where I am in my life now, since I didn’t die in time, I’ve had to give up all of that and more. I have to beg someone(s) to let me live each week. I’ve come to terms with my life now becoming nothing but about being disabled and I’m starting to fight back but we are at square one. And I am much weaker and much more ill than I’ve ever been in my life because of all the fun I had.

But I don’t know if I would’ve given up having fun even knowing it’s making my life now nearly impossible. I’m one of the first millennials, the first disabled generation, to get to this stage in being a semi-legal citizen in adulthood so there is no one to look to for advice that knows what this is like. Or will believe that you’re telling the truth. Other disabled people my age are going through the same thing, none of us really know what’s going to happen or what any of the right answers are.

If I hadn’t stayed in the closet for so long I wonder what I would be like now. Would I be more stable and confident? What if it was still as bad but I didn’t even have fond memories? If I hadn’t been able to relax now and then I may not have even let myself live this long. I have no idea.

The best I can tell you is that you are not alone and as much as it feels like no one can understand your situation there are a lot of people who know exactly what it’s like. But even having that support is risky because you do have to go into disabled communities on the Internet which can risk you being uncloseted.

This is why you are using anonymous. This is why I never turn the option of being anonymous off.

I, for one, will not live in this suffering needlessly. I’ve would’ve committed suicide many years ago as I had planned on until I finally did involve myself, outside of the closet, in the disabled community online.

It’s not the camaraderie or the support that gave me a will to live. I still feel the same. The difference is I see you guys and I’m living your future. If the only way to live is to suffer then I’m willing to do so in order for you guys to have a little more traction than we have.

It’s not altruistic, it’s petty.

I care nothing for those people in society. I can feel sympathy or empathy but at my core I really don’t care. I care about what’s mine. My being disabled. My place in the disabled community. You guys; my friends.

There is one thing I’m good at and that is pissing socialites off. From a fuckboy on the Internet to a world renowned doctor. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to piss as many of them off as I can because I care about other disabled people.

One of two things can happen:

1. I’ll just be entertaining other disabled people while I go down in flames

2. I might actually help making a difference toward getting our civil rights by taking some the socialites down with me

I’m happy with either of these. It’s petty but it’ll be fun and this is the only fun currently available to my community.

#Anonymous #Signal Boost™ disability #actually disabled #cpunk #cripple punk #Dear Christy

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harrish6 · 7 years

Text

Healing What Has Been Broken - Chapter 21 - The Cuddle Time War And The Shipping Council

Because so many people are asking, Destiny and Fate can take any form. They just are, they are everywhere and are technically Higher Gods in this story. Myths have all the Gods in them taking many forms - Like Zeus as melted gold of all things - so Destiny and Fate can do the same.

Also, I am so happy that I am making so many people's shipping senses tingle. A lot of ships I like are considered crack ships as they are never talked about, see as insane or even thought of. I love so many ships so bad that I can't help myself. Like Nightmare x Error, Cross x Error, or really, I ship everyone with Error to be honest as long as it is done right. Can't help myself really.

And due to popular demand, I will put how cuddle time happened and the chart for it. Never thought that so many people would want to know, but I'm happy to provide and give more detail to this adorable idea.

-Start Chapter-

Cuddle Time - And yes, it deserved to be capitalized for how much thought and fighting went into it by the others. Error honestly thought that someone was going to get dusted for a few tense moments. Luckily no one was dusted in the creation of Cuddle Time. - was a simple thing if one thought about it. But then again, put in a bunch off different people with vastly different personalities then anything can get complicated fast and in a hurry.

But, Error knew who to put the blame on. It had been Grim who put the idea into the other's heads only a day after Error officially met all the skeletons.

It had been a normal morning so far before the Cuddle Time War started. Everyone was sitting at the kitchen table. Error was at the head of the table, munching on the glass cup that had the soup in it. He had just put the whole cup into his mouth again, making quite a few Monsters wince and freak out at first. But Error didn't see the problem with it. Death was sitting on his left side holding onto one end of Error's scarf, Grim on the right reading some kind of book. The kids had finished eating a while ago, having rushed as they wanted to go playing. After making sure that Null and Void would be okay, Error let them go play in the living room with the other kids.

Then Grim suddenly brightened, face lighting up as he read something in the book. Error watched him wearily as he jumped up with a triumph look on his face.

"I have found the most wonderful healing technique!" Grim lifted the book as if it was the holy grail. "In this insightful book I have gotten from Life, I have found something that will help Error on the right track to fully getting better not only physically, but emotionally."

That quickly got everyone's attention.

Meanwhile Error could feel like this was not going to work out well, a bad feeling creeping up his spine.

"Positive touching, as the book has told me, can help with many mental health issues! Ranging from helping one to sleep, eat, become emotionally stable and just feel better all around." Grim gently put down the book, a gleam not unlike Determination in his sockets. "Therefor I propose a few set times, multiple times a day, for such positive touching."

"What kind of touching?" Ink questioned, leaning onto the table interested in the idea. While they are helping Error get better physically, it is the mental and emotional wounds that will never truly go away. But that didn't mean they couldn't lighten Error's load. "Hand holding?"

"No, I propose something I like to call," Grim opened his arms as if he wanted to hug them all. "Cuddle Time!"

'You got to be fucking with me.' Error thought to himself numbly. He just watched Grim and the others discussing the idea like he wasn't there, making him want to flip the table to get their attention. But seeing how he knew he wouldn't get out of it? '.....Lets see how this plays out.' Error decided eventually. He would only speak up if he had too.

"A few times a day, multiple times a day may be too much for Error." Daze put in, looking worried. "I mean, if he's not used to cuddling it may get too much." The left unsaid part was that they all looked like people that have hurt him or look like said brothers to the ones that have hurt him.

"The time can range from five minutes to a half-hour. Whatever Error is comfortable with." Misery eventually said, finger tapping his chin in thought. "If Error doesn't feel up to it, we can push the time for later or just do it for a single minute."

"We can hella do it in pairs!" Fresh brightly added in, gesturing to his brother who was right behind him. "It would be totes radical!" Then he pointed to Geno and Killer. "Ya two could pair up because ya are without fresh bros."

"Thanks for pointing that out Fresh." Geno sarcastically thanked, looking at Fresh like he was a idiot. "I had no idea that my brother is pretty much dead and gone. Or that Killer killed his." Killer chuckled, fingering the butter knife in his hands.

"Ya totes welcome my home dawg!" Fresh grinned, not at all hearing the sarcasm. Geno groaned and face palmed.

"Now, this is all well and good...." Paint calmly started, sipping his tea once before putting it down. Then he glanced at everyone, grim seriousness in his eyes. "But now on to the most important question...." If Error had hair, it would be standing up on edge. "Who gets to go first?"

If it were any other topic or not about him in any way, Error would have been impressed with how fast everything escalated from that little question. He hasn't seen things go down this fast since one Sans implied that Inky and Error were having 'relations' behind all the fighting when they were fighting for the life of said Sans's AU. Shame that he said it where he and Inky could hear, it only got worse because Nightmare and his gang along with Dream heard it too as they were involved with the fighting. First and only team up they ever did together. But it ended up with Inky and Dream fighting them off so they didn't kill off the Sans when they started going to far but also looking like they wanted to kill him off, one still pissed off Error and rest, and one very deeply scarred Sans. The Sans was so deeply scarred for life that Error is pretty sure he still hasn't left his house since in fear of them all. And this had happened more then a century ago.

"Well, obviously it should be us Paint!" Ink smiled before looking to the others. "And who should go next-"

"Hold the phone!" Fresh busted in, waving his hands in disagreement. "Why should ya be the one to be first?!" Fresh looked to his own brother. "I think me and my totally radical bro should be first!"

"Yea, me and Fresh would be totes radical!" Rad added in, grinning and nodding along with Fresh. "Totes would be so fresh to be first! Error would be for sure feeling the totally radical funky fresh vibes from our Cuddle Time!"

Error shivered at that while Grim interrupted them, sounding insulted. "Now, now there is no need to fight!" He placed a hand on his chest, chin going up as he looked down at everyone with a innocent smile. "When it obvious that me and Death should be going first!" He winked at all the enraged and insulted faces. "I came up with the idea after all! So it's only fair that we go first."

Death quickly nodded in agreement, smiling a small smile from where he sat, holding on end of Error's scarf. "I would like to go first....."

"Just because you came up with the idea doesn't mean anything." Misery pointed out before gesturing to himself and his brother. "We would be the best to go first. Daze's positivity and magic would be the best for Error."

Daze smiled brightly, a steel edge in his sockets. "Misery is right! And Misery would add some good stability and making sure Error is alright."

"You are all fools!" Fell scoffed, rolling his eyes at them all. "Red and I would only be the best bet for Error!"

"I understand anxiety better then you all." Red helpfully pointed out to the rest, grin growing as his brother growled at everyone. "So me and my bro would be the best bet to go first if anything went wrong."

"Not exactly strong stuff~" Compassion purred, leaning over the table so that he was only inches from Fell's face. Fell turned blood orange and gulped while the other grinned. "Hearts and I are the most loving after all, so why shouldn't we go first hmmm?" Compassion leaned back, grin still in place. "I think we would make Error feel very loved and right at home. Isn't that right Hearts?"

"Too right Compassion~" Hearts leaned his chin into his hand, propping it up on the table as he glanced to everyone. "We wouldn't want Error to feel unloved or uncomfortable now would we?"

'You all are making me uncomfortable right now!' Error started to sweat a little once he noticed the hostel expressions on everyone, Death's grip on the scarf getting tighter and tighter with each word. He wondered if he could make a break for it. Then he saw Skull pulling out his gun that was under the table for whatever reason. Yeah, no. He wasn't going to move when a MobTale!Sans got trigger happy, that would just make Skull shoot him on reflex.

But on a side note, Error was impressed that Skull and Sniper could sneak in such big guns without anyone noticing until they pulled them out. That took talent.

"Now Hearts," Skull began, standing up on his chair with his tommy gun out and ready. "I like ya, but I'm going to go first." Skull smirked as he loaded the gun. "I found'em first. It's only right that me and my brother here go first."

Sniper just gave a nice smile, a click sounding out showing that he turned off the safety on his own weapon.

"Well threatening us with a gun isn't going to help you." Killer laughingly said while Hearts scoffed, rolling his eyes, muttering to himself. "Some way to show that you like me!"

"Me and Geno here should go first." Killer pulled out a sharper knife out of nowhere, making Geno flinch back even as Killer laid a arm around his shoulders. "We don't have brothers, Error doesn't have a brother, it's a match made in hell."

"Don't you mean heaven?" Geno asked, raising a brow in question.

Killer just simply grinned, eyes laughing. "No."

Error shrugged when Geno glanced to him, Killer had a point. There was no way Killer was made in heaven let alone himself.

"Having brothers has nothing to do with this!" Hop sighed out, before smirking. "But if that was the case, then someone with a brother should go first! Make Error get used to them faster."

"Which is why we should go first!" Tango butted in, looking like a excited puppy. "We are the best brother duo!"

"That's a lie!" Blueberry jumped as many objections sounded out, starry eyes glaring out. "Only the Sensational Blueberry and his one and only brother Honey are the best there is! We shall go first!"

"Don't think about arguing," Honey shrugged with a lazy smile. But the orange in his eyes told a different story. "when my bro says we're going first, we're going first."

"Oh? So we're going based off the best brothers? If so, your not even in the running!" Blue raised a brow, arms crossed. "Because I remember a certain Easter party just last year. Involving some hard boiled eggs, chocolate, a bunny costume, ten glitter bombs, and five gallons of whipped cream and melted butter that ended with-"

Error glanced to the kitchen entrance once movement caught his eye. Seeing the kids peeking in, curious from all the yelling, he hurriedly motioned for them to go back into the living room. His own kids did so right away, the others following suit once they saw that some of the adults had weapons drawn.

Giving a silent sigh of relief, Error turned back to the mess in front of him, wishing that he could join the kids. The children did not deserve to be scarred for life this early in their lives, best have them wait in the other room so they don't see blood, dust, magic, and bullets flying once shit hits the fan worse then it already has.

"I do not see the problem here." Galaxy finally spoke up over Blue and Honey's argument. "It is obvious that I and my brother should go, we are more qualified to do so."

Orbit snorted, glancing to all the hostile expressions. "It's true. I mean, out of all of us, we're the least likely to do something or mess it up."

"That's a lie!" Razz growled out, fist slamming down hard onto the table. "If anyone is most qualified, it is me!" Razz gave everyone a smug smirk. "I am after all, the best Sans here."

Honestly, that alone would have made the Sanses jump Razz. But with how Maple was starring everyone down, they thought better of it. Didn't stop them from arguing though.

"Listen, none of this is helping the issue." Echo sighed, rubbing his eye sockets that were closed as if he was in pain. "We need to decide who goes first, so how about a vote?" Suddenly Echo looks up with a smirk. "I vote for myself and my brother obviously."

"I, of course, vote the same." Blaster softly added in, a small grin playing on his face. "That, or you could fight me for it?"

"Of course you would want to fight!" Blossom sniffed, glancing up at Blaster. "Voting and fighting wouldn't get us anywhere! Everyone would just vote for themselves, and a fight would just end in dust piles - so everyone would loose!"

"Not everyone, there still would be one pair of us left standing." Murder pointed out with a blood thirsty grin. "Then they can take up all the times then."

"I wouldn't mind going first for this 'Cuddle Time'." Blood said absent mindlessly. "So, we're going to fight for the right to go first? I'll get my claws ready~"

"No one is going to fight for it!" Paint finally called out, but was lost in all the arguments.

Error nervously looked around, trying to keep a eye out on all the threats as the voice levels grew. Then he felt it, the feeling of death. With a gulp, Error slowly turned to glance at his seat neighbor, only to start sweating.

Death's face had twisted into what one would imagine the face of the Grim Reaper to be, one that screamed anger as he scowled and lowly growled.

Before Error could even think of running for the hills, Death moved.

CRACK!

Everyone flinched back, some even diving out of their chairs when the scythe came down and stabbed itself into the table. Everyone gulped, looking up at Death who now stood, one hand on the handle of his scythe, the other tightly gripping one end of Error's scarf.

"I said; I would like to go F I R S T ." Death's deep voice growled out, dark sockets daring anyone to try and deny him this. "Let me rephrase that; I W I L L B E G O I N G F I R S T ."

No one went against Death or even said a word about this new fact. Death's face lightened up when no one tried anything, took out his scythe from the table, put it back in it's hostler, and sat back down, scooting his chair closer to Error so that their knees were touching.

Thus was the creation of Cuddle Time, the end of the Cuddle Time War - mostly, Error has seen the others give some dirty looks for getting earlier times then theirs. But no one said anything. - and the start of the time table for Cuddle Time.

Cuddle Time was three times a day, after meal times. It could last a few minutes to a full hour if Error wanted it to. Everyone finally drew straws about who would go after who after Death claimed the first time slot. If they couldn't make it to the Cuddle Time or they were sick, then someone else would take their place for them until they could came back.

The Time Table went as follows;

Death and Grim - Monday Morning.

Blue and Blossom - Monday Afternoon.

Fresh and Rad - Monday Night.

Ink and Paint - Tuesday Morning.

Red and Fell - Tuesday Afternoon.

Hearts and Compassion - Tuesday Night.

Skull and Sniper - Wednesday Morning.

Murder and Blood - Wednesday Afternoon.

Killer and Geno - Wednesday Night.

Echo and Blaster - Thursday Morning.

Hop and Tango - Thursday Afternoon.

Blueberry and Honey - Thursday Night.

Razz and Maple - Friday Morning.

Misery and Daze - Friday Afternoon.

Orbit and Galaxy - Friday Night.

Saturday and Sundays were the kids's days with Error, they just piled onto Error or it was just Null and Void or whoever was in the house at the times needed. Seems the kids were listening in about Cuddle Time and wanted in.

Error just didn't want to admit that these skeletons still made him jumpy, that he wanted to run and hide from them because of the faces starring back at him. But, Cuddle Time was helping with that. Making him get to know them, not to see the shadows of other Monsters that share the same face. Sure, he still shivered and tensed up when some of the got near him, but Error was slowly getting better. It would take some time if not years for him to get used to them, but he was getting there. Being held softly was something he had never really experienced before.

It was nice.

-Council Room-

In the basement of the mansion, there was a council room that was usually unused. In fact, many forgot it was there unless they needed it, which was usually never. There was a large circular wooden table and chairs all around it, everything one would need to start, win, and finish a war of nay kind hanging on the walls and around the whole room.

It was something of a mystery in fact, no one made this room. It was always there, no one put anything in it or even knew about it until one day the noticed a door in the back of the basement that lead into this secret room.

But that doesn't mean that no one uses it.

"The Shipping Council is being called to order." Hearts called out from the head of the table. He nodded to Geno. "I know that we rarely get together anymore unless our Alphys and or Undyne has made a new ship that we should know about, but Geno has brought to our attention a new ship that must sail. Geno, you have the floor."

The Shipping Council wasn't large by any means, but that didn't mean they didn't have outside help. The main members are Hearts, Geno, and Maple. The members each had their own source of outside help, with Hearts being the largest as his whole AU would help him out if he said it was for love. Therefor, he is the leader. Most of the Council just gets together once a month to discuss all the relationships around them or talk about matching another with so-and-so, but never once had they tried it as they feared messing it all up, at least for the skeletons. They have paired up many monsters in different AU's and they are happily dating. One pair even Soul Bonded and became Soul Mates.

"Maple and I have noticed Error and Death." Geno gave a smile thinking about the two. "Before Maple and the others came to Life's home, Killer and I heard Death promise that he would help put Error back together."

"Death seems to be in love with Error already." Maple added in, shrugging with a grin. "When he slammed his scythe into the table? Jealous lover moment."

Hearts snorted at that, not having thought of it like that. Geno went on. "I think they could heal themselves." Both skeletons looked up at Geno when he said that. "Death for sure has some issues, hard not to when you are a reaper I think, and so does Error. But together, I think they could get better with one another."

"Love does heal many wounds." Hearts hummed, thinking about it. "But it can also make new ones."

"I know we don't usually involve ourselves with the other skeleton Monsters, but I think we should on this case." Geno sat back down, clearing his throat. "Error and Death deserve love, and having someone there for them in a way other can't be. So I say, we ship them hard but also carefully."

"Playing matchmaker would take more effort on them, if only for the fact that Error seems clueless on the matters of romance." Maple muttered, rubbing his chin before speaking up. "Error is slowly healing, so we shouldn't push this too hard. But that doesn't mean we can't give them a push in the right direction."

"Hmmmm." Hearts's eyes narrowed for a moment before he stood up. "I have decided; We are going to help DestructiveDeath become canon!"

"Yes!" Geno fist pumped. "Let the shipping commence!"

"For DestructiveDeath we shall ship them harder then any other ship!" Maple clutched his fists, passion in his eyes. "We will make this ship a reality!"

"SHIP! SHIP! SHIP~!"

-Backyard-

Error sneezed, shivering from where he sat on a outside bench as he kept a eye out on the kids. Death pressed against his side, holding on to his arm as if trying to become one with Error. Error glanced around, not paying the shivering Death any mind. He had a bad feeling creeping up his spine again....Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a bit, the feeling would go away? Try to relax like the others wanted him to?

Meanwhile Death just snuggled closer, shaking and flushing all the more.

Compassion sighed as he glanced to all the adults that were outside, relaxing and talking. He saw Error sneeze and shiver, then glance around paranoid. 'It seems like the Shipping Council has come to a decision~'

When Ink saw Error sneeze, shivering and that three certain Monsters were gone, all he could do was sigh and pinch the bridge of nose hole. 'It seems like the Shipping Council has come to a decision.....I really hope anybody doesn't dust them all or anything once they start trying to mess with Error and Death.'

-With The Little Papyruses, A Few Yards Away From The Adults-

"Such a weakling!" Fallen scoffed, bending down slightly so that he and Void were face to face. "Be dead in a second if he ever left his Brother or Father!"

"I think the killer would soon regret it though." Aster pointed out as all the little Papyruses gathered around the new little one.

"He has a pretty smile~" Slaughter cooed out, making Void giggle.

"Tch!" Fallen scoffed, before glaring into Void's happy eyes. "Listen here you little cretin! I, the terrifying Fallen, am not under your spel-!"

Chu~

Everyone froze, watching Void lean over and clumsily kiss Fallen's cheek. Void leaned back, falling down to his bottom with a giggle and clap. Fallen's cheeks slowly turned a blood red color, taking over his whole face.

"F-Fallen....?" Truce asked hesitantly, twitching at the sight of the other being still like stone. "....Are you okay?"

Before anyone had time to even blink, Fallen snatched up Void and clinched him close to his chest. "This Monster is now the Terrible Fallen's best friend! None shall have him!"

"We'll, so much for not being under his spell." Space snorted before glancing over to where the Sanses were. "Orange? Shouldn't you keep a eye on them?"

Orange shrugged, watching the amusing show that is a flustered Fallen and giggling Void. "Nah. Gaz will keep a eye on them fine."

-A Few Feet Away, With The Little Sanses-

"Hello!" Stars bounced up to Null. "It's nice to meet you~"

"Hello-Oh!" Null gave out a gasp when Stars suddenly scooped him up in a hug. "Hehe! It's nice to meet you to!"

Gaz felt sweat forming on his skull, feeling a dark aura behind himself. Slowly turning, he flinch back. TK was glaring for all he was worth at Stars, so much so that Gaz was shocked that Stars wasn't on fire. Never mind the dark aura surrounding him, like a cloak as he clinched a first. The fist was shaking as he gritted his teeth, making Gaz want to back up now.

"That little-!" TK growled out, making Tick snicker at him while Cloud rolled his eyes and Peace snort in humor.

The next thing they knew, TK was stomping over to where Stars was twirling with Null in his arms.

"You don't think he is actually going to hurt Stars right?" Cloud asked the others. "I mean, Orange will kill him if he tries anything.....He knows that right?"

"Honestly, he's in jealous Soul Mate mode." Gaz snorted, thinking back on all the Soul Mates he has seen. "So much so, that he's forgotten they aren't even Soul Mates."

"I hope it gets bloody~" Tick hummed, scratching his skull with a blood thirsty grin.

"I hope they don' get blood on Null, Mister Error will not be happy." Peace pointed out, making Gaz and Cloud pale dramatically and Tick laugh.

"Hey!" TK growled out once he was close to the twirling two, making Stars stop and spin around to smile up at TK. "Oh! TK! Have you come to play too?"

"No! I want-ARH!" TK made to stomp once more, but tripped over his shoe laces and fell flat on his face.

Silence. Everyone blinked and the spell was broken.

"AAHHH!" TK shot up to his knees, hands going to his forehead that was turning a bright light blue. Tears gushing out as he cried out in pain. But before he could do anything more, something soft touched his wound.

Blinking away the tears, he was greeted with Null's smiling face.

Null smiled gently, hand softly touching the spot TK had hit hard on the ground. "Kisses to make the hurt to go away~"

'Kisses.....But he....!' Shakily raising a hand, TK started to sweat. Something soft touched his forehead.....Soft like.....Lips?! "I-I-I-I!"

Null tilted his head confused as TK turned a bright blue. Then, jolting away once TK suddenly grabbed his hood, covering his hole face as he sweated and shook, voice becoming high pitched as he muttered and silently screamed to himself.

Frowning, Null turned to the others with concern swimming in his eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"

Laughter was all he got as his answer.

Back with the adults, Death smiled softly as he listened to the children's laughter and hung onto Error. Snuggling closer, he jolted once he felt Error go limp. Head sharply going up, he relaxed once he saw Error's eyes closed and breathing evening out. It seems he actually fell asleep.

"You better take him to bed." Death turned to see Misery sitting back down after getting a water bottle. "I've heard that he doesn't sleep that often. Maybe he's never been relaxed enough to try. If he wakes up, let him know we're watching his kids. Don't want him bringing the house down with him in his worry."

"Alright." Getting up, Death gently lifted up Error into his arms. While Misery explained what was going on to the others, Death floated into the house. While he could teleport, he didn't want to. It was nice to have Error in his arms. Even if it made his shaking worse, sweat coming down all the more as his face gets hotter, and his SOUL race all the more, he loved that something living was in his arms.

It made it all the better that it was Error.

With that in mind, once he finally got Error into his assigned bed, Death quietly placed a chair by the bed and sat on it. Not wanting to leave Error alone. Relaxing, Death settled and closed his sockets, letting the silence over take him.

All the while his bones tingled, making him want to reach out and touch Error once more.

- Two Hours Later -

Error couldn't feel anything.

Nothing but W H I T E .

Error couldn't breath.

D I D Y O U R E A L L Y T H I N K Y O U C O U L D G E T A W A Y ? R U N F R O M Y O U R F A T E ? !

Error couldn't hear anything as static over took everything else.

"Err-"

Hands coming out to grab onto a scarred throat.

Error couldn't scream, couldn't talk.

"....or?"

Cracking sounded out, a bright yellow and sky blue glowing from a covered chest, the glow fading fast.

T H O S E W H O R U N F R O M F A T E G E T D R A G G E D B Y I T .

Noise was slowly breaking into the static, Error couldn't make anything out.

"...ake.....p!"

Screams sounded out, one side shinning white the other shadowed black. The middle a static grey as hunger calls out. Hands cradled and grabbed, pulling and pushing.

Error couldn't feel anything.

T H O S E W H O R U N A R E P U N I S H E D !

Not even as his bones and SOUL shattered.

F A T E I S N O T K I N D A N D D O S E N O T C A R E F O R O T H E R S P R O M I S E S .

Fate only loves one.

You are not that one.

"ERROR?!"

Error jolted awake, wildly looking around. Breathing heavily, sweating coming down. Jerking when he noticed hands holding tightly over his wrist, he only stopped when he caught sight of it being Death holding onto him.

"whAT hAppENed?" Error choked out, blinking once he noticed how blurry everything was.

"Y-You...." Death took in a deep breath, finally loosening his hold. "You were having a nightmare....You were clawing at your own throat! Your SOUL-!" Death choked, shaking his head.

Error just sighed, closing his eyes. "ThIS IS WhY i DON'T slEEp. No pOInt WhEn i CaN't GEt pEacE iN EvEN MY oWn MInD. nEvER MINd It cAN GET dAnGEroUS ONcE i LAsh OUt."

"But that's not healthy!" Seeing Error's 'I don't give a shit about that' face, Death sighed, thinking. T-Then...." Death bite his lip, letting go of Error. Error sat up, stretching. "Let me chase away the nightmares!"

Snorting, Error raised a brow at Death. "WHy WOuLD YOu dO THAt?"

"Sleeping next to someone is said to keep nightmares away." Death pointed out, face slowly turning indigo. "And who better then death to chase them away? If you have a nightmare, I will be here to wake you up and make sure that you don't hurt yourself."

Now Error would have scoffed at that, if only he hasn't seen proof of that little fact. The last time he slept was with Null and Void, and no nightmares or screaming greeted him. Usually when he sleeps, it never worked out so he went without it. But he always had on the fear that he would accidentally lash out at the kids if he had a nightmare with them in bed with him.

'Sleep....A peaceful rest....Something I only thought that death would give me...' Error snorted, giving a smirk. 'It seems I wasn't wrong.' "FiNE......WE'LL tRY IT yOUR wAY. BuT iF iT DosEn'T WoRK, I'LL Go WiThOUt SLEEp lIKe uSuaL."

Within the next ten minutes, Death had taken off his cloak and scythe, laying down by Error in a black t-shit and shorts.

Within the next half hour, Error finally relaxed.

Within the next hour, Error fell asleep.

Within the next hour and five minutes, Death and Error curled around another, a tangle of limbs.

Within the next three hours, others peeked in only to smile and close the door, Null and Void having their first sleepover with the other children in a room not too far away with one adult supervising.

Within the whole night, Death was smiling even as he shook and shivered.

Within the whole night, Error slept peacefully.

Not one nightmare greeted him once he closed his eyes, not with Death himself chasing them away.

-End Chapter-

Here is some fluff! I love fluff so much, you have no idea.

Now, the thing about Soul Bonding and Soul Mates is my own headcanon. And although only mentioned a few times, I feel the need to explain my own head canon of this so no misunderstanding comes up.

I think Soul Mates is a step after Date Mates. In my head canon, Monsters do not have predestined partners, no it is all about choice. It's like the human version of marrying or asking someone to marry them. "Will you be my Soul Mate?" as you offer your SOUL to the other. Rings or anything else is up to the couple to use if they propose or in the wedding. Every couple is different after all. So when Gaz said that TK was acting like jealous Soul Mate, he meant in human terms that TK is acting like a jealous spouse.

Monsters have their own traditions, their own culture. While some may mirror human's, they are still different and may steam from something else or they just adopted it as they liked it so much. A lot of myths come from Monsters and how Human's misunderstood what was going on or twisted the facts as they were the victors.

Soul Mating happens during/after the wedding - the first time not being sexual, but after it can be as magic is all about intent - with at least one witness just in case anything goes wrong and to be proof that they actually Soul Mated and are now Soul Bonded in marriage and love. Two SOULS come out and touch, making you feel the others emotions. The SOULS start to bond, making you become them and them become you as you hear thoughts and wants. Then finally, the SOULS become one, like two pieces of a puzzle. When that happens, you see the others memories, you see the others life as it was. To understand your life partner, you must see their life and choices, their reasons.

After a few moments being one - which can feel like years to the Soul Mates - the SOULS separate, leaving a imprint on the other SOUL and the same for your SOUL. The imprint will make you low-key feel your Soul Mate's emotions, make you hyper aware of their wants and needs, to know if they are in danger and if something has happened. You can block the connection, but it feels wrong. You can break the connection, but it hurts a lot when that happens during said breaking, even after sometimes and it can dust the other if not both of you when you do that. A Monsters divorce if you will. Humans's divorce hurts the wallet, Monsters's divorce hurt the SOUL.

You can redo the Soul Mating and Soul Bonding after breaking it, but breaking it a second time means no one is going to come out okay or even alive. You can change your mind in the middle of breaking it and the other can feel reasons why you are doing it if they pay attention to it over all the pain they are feeling at that moment. For example if it was under stress or from panic or even if the other was drunk.

Soul Bonding is also different, as there are so many different bonds one can have. You don't have to be related to have a Parent-Child Bond or Sibling-Sibling Bond, but it takes time to form. Every Bond has a different purpose and EFFECT to them. It also depends on how strong the Bond is. Children can gain a bit of the parent's EFFECTS and FACTS. Like if the parent is weak to water, the child may become weak around it too. That or if the parent can say, touch Death and live, then they can to. The parent becomes aware of them, and can track the child's SOUL. Life spans can very, as if the parent is strong magical, then the child will have the same life span as they are getting the parent's magic from the Bond to grow on. But like I said, it takes time for the Bond to form and even then you have to CHECK it to make sure it is actually there.

Sibling-Sibling Bonds can come from magic/blood siblings, or claimed/adopted siblings. It makes them low-key aware of the other, creating a Family Bond. It can also give them a power boost if FIGHTING together. If the Bond is close enough, they can even use a version of the other siblings magic, but not as powerful as the original of course.

But this is all my own take on it and head canon, it is in no way canon. But these are what I am going to be using in my stories. More Monster traditions and other things may come up as well later on. But I wanted to explain this now so no confusion will come up later on.

#Healing What Has Been Broken #Error Sans #Forced Destroyer Error #Papa!Error #DestructiveDeath #Null #Void #My OCs #Harrish6 #Fanfiction #Fanfic #Cuddle Time #War #Shipping Council #Let's Ship Them HARD yet softly

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mostthingskenobi · 7 years

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CHAPTER 15: ANAKIN’S REPORT --- The Dark Side of Obi-Wan Kenobi - Part 1

Summary: Anakin understands Obi-Wan's doubt in the Jedi Code. But how is one doubter supposed to save another? He must now report his findings to the Council. Is that somehow a betrayal of Obi-Wan's trust?

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CHAPTER 15: Anakin’s Report

Coruscant – Jedi Temple

Anakin hesitated outside the Jedi Council chamber for a long time. He knew Yoda and Windu were expecting him, waiting for his report on Obi-Wan, but something deep in his gut told him that sharing the details of his master’s experiences on Mandalore was a kind of betrayal. Kenobi had given him permission to divulge the necessary elements, but Anakin still felt protective of his master’s privacy.

Then again, the very reason he agreed to make the report was due to Obi-Wan’s uncharacteristic anxiety and anger; his master was unbalanced, and that was a very dangerous position for a Jedi. Anakin was not sure he could help Kenobi, was not sure he could pull him away from the edge, but if Skywalker confessed what he knew, the Council might be able to heal his friend. Perhaps the more experienced elders knew how to prevent a Jedi from falling to the Dark Side.

How is that even possible? Anakin suddenly thought angrily. Obi-Wan is incorruptible. He would never turn to the Dark Side.

Skywalker thought about his master’s life, all the pain he had absorbed, silently processed, and released into the Force without ever burdening his Padawan. Obi-Wan was an expert at repressing and hiding his emotions. He and Anakin rarely discussed their feelings unless it directly regarded a mission’s success. He always assumed Obi-Wan would be fine, that he worked through things his own way.

The only time Anakin felt Obi-Wan had been unsteady was after Qui-Gon’s death. The months that followed had been confusing and emotionally taxing; Anakin had been trying to overcome his fear – fear for his mother’s wellbeing, fear of the horned creature that had murdered Master Jinn, fear of his uncertain future – all while Obi-Wan silently mourned Qui-Gon. Kenobi had been angry, short tempered, and wracked with guilt, but he always tried to hide this from little Anakin. Skywalker had found Obi-Wan to be generous and attentive, but he was difficult to please and sometimes cold. It was a temperamental, rocky beginning to say the least.

When Anakin was still young he occasionally asked Obi-Wan about Qui-Gon, but the Jedi would give a half-hearted smile and tell his Padawan that losing Master Jinn was the will of the Force. The feeble explanation was meant to imply that all was as it should be, but even as a young boy Anakin could feel the depression that consumed his new master.

Now, a grown man, Anakin understood Obi-Wan had been trying to conquer his own emotions while providing a stable refuge for a little slave boy recently separated from his mother. Skywalker suddenly realized the burdens his master had been forced to balance; Obi-Wan had been knighted and immediately took on a Padawan; Anakin was years behind all the other students so Obi-Wan spent nearly every waking moment teaching and training his new charge.

He must have felt so alone and exhausted…

And now Satine had died the exact same way as Qui-Gon, killed by the same monster, killed in front of Obi-Wan.

Anakin suddenly balked at the idea that he and Obi-Wan might once again slip into the confusing, awkward, strained pattern that had plagued their relationship after Master Jinn’s death. He realized how much he depended on Kenobi’s reliable, consistent personality. Obi-Wan was always strong, tempered, and faithful. Anakin was the reckless one, the hot-tempered, unforgiving, overly emotional student who nearly drove his master into an early grave. What would happen to them if Obi-Wan suddenly decided to no longer control his own emotions?

Have I always taken him for granted?

He felt a chill run up his spine as Obi-Wan’s shared memories came back to him. Anakin pressed his hands to his temples and rubbed fiercely, trying to calm his feelings. Stepping into the chaos that was Obi-Wan’s consciousness had been truly disturbing; watching the horror that his master endured was upsetting, to be sure, but the accompanying feelings had been overwhelming – the insatiable rage, the hopelessness, the self-loathing were palpable companions to Kenobi’s experience. Obi-Wan was consumed with an acidic, corrosive, deep-rooted sense of betrayal. Skywalker could feel that his master felt abandoned by the Jedi Code, that in his greatest moment of need it was no longer any comfort to him. It was a feeling Anakin understood well. His own doubts had gnawed at him for months, and he feared he would be little help in bringing Kenobi back into the fold.

The chamber doors suddenly opened startling Anakin from his pensive state.

Master Windu stood before him with an expectant look on his face. “Were you planning to stand out here all day?”

“Forgive me, Master.” Anakin bowed respectfully. “I was trying to collect my thoughts.”

“There is no time for that, I’m afraid. You’ve been summoned by the Chancellor.” He stepped aside, indicating that Anakin should come in. “We need your report before you leave for the Senate.”

Skywalker quickly entered and stood in the center of the room. Only Yoda and Windu were present.

“What have you learned?” Yoda asked from his tiny chair.

Anakin clutched his hands behind his back and took a deep breath. “Obi-Wan has suffered unthinkable cruelty,” he said. He hesitated for one final moment before instinctively deciding to discuss Kenobi’s relationship with Satine. “He has also experienced a loss so devastating that he questions whether he should remain a Jedi.”

Both Yoda and Windu’s face betrayed their deep concern. “Is this related to the Duchess?” Yoda asked eagerly. “What did you learn of her?”

The young Jedi’s head lowered. “It’s far worse than we could have imagined.” Anakin took another deep breath to steady himself before continuing. “Satine and Obi-Wan had an intense…” he fumbled for the correct word, “…attachment when they were young. Though my master has always stayed true to the Jedi Code it is my understanding that their feelings for each other remained very strong.” Anakin watched the two Masters’ faces, gauging their reactions. “Darth Maul learned of their attachment and he captured the Duchess in an attempt to lure Obi-Wan into a trap. She was murdered in front of him.”

Yoda suddenly placed a hand on his heart, his voice breaking with emotion. “Dismaying this is.”

Windu shook his head in disbelief. “I’ve never heard of such barbarism.”

“Masters,” Anakin’s brow became tight with concern, “during his imprisonment Obi-Wan was tortured brutally, both physically and mentally. Maul forced his way into Obi-Wan’s mind, making him relive Satine’s death over and over.” His throat became dry and he swallowed thickly. “I… I think Obi-Wan blames the Jedi Code. I think he feels he’s sacrificed everything for a life that has dealt him relentless heartbreak.”

Yoda stroked his chin, deep in thought. “In grave danger is Master Kenobi.”

“There’s something else.”

Windu looked exasperated. “What more could there be?” he said sarcastically.

“Satine’s murder was identical to Qui-Gon Jinn’s. Darth Maul stabbed them both in the abdomen while Obi-Wan watched. They both died in Obi-Wan’s arms. I don’t know if the Council was aware how devastating Master Jinn’s death was for Obi-Wan, but his heart was twisted and miserable for a long time afterwards. I truly fear for him now.” His voice became more frantic as he continued. “No matter what the Code demands, we are only human. Satine was the love of Obi-Wan’s life. This loss has snuffed out all the brightness in my master’s heart and nothing remains but anger and thoughts of revenge.” Anakin was almost pleading now. “If there’s anything we can do to help him, please tell me what it is. I’ll do anything. I can’t watch him suffer like this.”

“Hmmm…” Yoda mumbled to himself. “Your feelings for your master are strong. Understandable this is, especially considering the father figure he has become. But dangerously attached you are.”

“Don’t you think it’s unnatural that the Code teaches us to repress our feelings? Repression only leads to eventual destruction.”

“The Code is there to protect you, Skywalker,” Windu said sharply. “If Obi-Wan had indeed stayed true to the Code, the Duchess would never have been used as leverage against him.”

“Obi-Wan is not to blame here,” Anakin nearly roared. “There is no Jedi who controls his emotions more rigorously than my master. The Code does not say we cannot have these feelings, it says that we must control them. Obi-Wan is the truest Jedi I know. He’s flawed and he knows it. But that is proof of the measure of his resolve!”

Yoda held up his hands to quell Anakin’s rising ire. “Correct you are, young one. Master Kenobi has unmatched power and honor. But compromised he was by his feelings for the Duchess.” He turned to Windu. “Clearly in need he is. We must support him until we know he is out of danger.”

“Of course,” Windu said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What can we do?” Anakin asked.

“Patience is required,” Yoda proffered. “Remind him of his strengths. Meditate with him when he has regained his health. Help him release his negativity and anger into the Force.”

“He has always struggled so much with his anger,” Windu said under his breath, curling his fingers over his chin.

“Hmmm, yes…” Yoda nodded in agreement.

Anakin looked bewildered. “Obi-Wan? Angry? The only time I’ve ever felt Obi-Wan get angry was after Qui-Gon died.”

“He has learned to guard against it. You knew him not when he was a youngling. Even as a Padawan he struggled with anger.”

“I can hardly believe it.”

“Much you still do not know about your master,” Yoda said wisely.

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READ IT ON AO3 - Kudos and Comments Welcome!

READ CHAPTER 1 - It’s All My Fault...

READ CHAPTER 2 - Heed My Word

READ CHAPTER 3 - Brothers

READ CHAPTER 4 - A Sacred Memory

READ CHAPTER 5 - For Obi-Wan’s Sake

READ CHAPTER 6 - Our Time Has Run Short

READ CHAPTER 7 - Rescue

READ CHAPTER 8 - Everyone is a Mess

READ CHAPTER 9 - Nightmares

READ CHAPTER 10 - Opportunity

READ CHAPTER 11 - Yoda Tries

READ CHAPTER 12 - What Do You Need From Me?

READ CHAPTER 13 - Master

READ CHAPTER 14 - Into the Storm

READ CHAPTER 15 - Anakin’s Report

READ CHAPTER 16 - Sidious Manipulation

READ CHAPTER 17 - Darkness Waking

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laguanrodgers · 5 years

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Ten Things 2019 Made Me Thankful For

As the curtain is set to close on this year, I must say there is plenty to be thankful for in my stable. When I think of blessings, both big and small, glaring and not so obvious to the eye, I am reminded it all flows through one source: God. And so I say thank you to Him for his mercies, lessons and providence.

10. NATURE

Being a city guy, I’m at ease when I can escape the concrete jungle and exhaust fumes and be among still pine trees, wooded trails and the layout of an unexpected bridge in the middle of nowhere. I’ve found great comfort in the simplicities of just taking a walk through the neighborhood no matter the time of day, and allowing the sky to be my tour guide. Inhaling huge chunks of air and letting the smell dance around my nostrils has been a sort of reset button. I’m beginning to search for something of beauty within a snowy day- for no two flakes are twins. There’s more to summer than the sun. Spring invites tulips to greet us, but only for a short afternoon, so we must be quick to say hello. And yet fall reminds me all things grow old, and it’s ok to find rest.

9. BOOKS

This year is arguably the most I’ve ever read, and I’m much better for it. From lengthy autobiographies I finally made time for to self-empowerment titles to the dark poetry, which kept my bedroom light on, it’s been a cerebral journey marked by the tugs and pulls of the heart. Words and stories are funny like that- they've made me comfortable with my own emotions, and I’ve come to realize...well...I’m human, and sometimes humans cry.

8. HEALTH

I talk to my 80-year-old grandmother every day on my way to work, and when I’m quick to point out the things I don’t have, she reminds me that I have my health, and I’m “in my right mind.” We don’t tend to think about the ways we are able to use our bodies and brains until some functions are limited or ultimately taken from us. Call it cliché but I chew my food to enjoy it, and don’t swallow it so quickly now. I wiggle my fingers and toes like a baby discovering his or her anatomical capabilities. Food is our greatest medicine; it is a healer as much as it is a poison.

7. EARS THAT LISTEN

No one bats a thousand, yet I hope those around me will classify yours truly as a better friend than years past. I know I’ve been privileged to have some quality folks who truly listen to me and check up on me for no reason other than to look into my well-being. Away with yes men, and open ye doors for those who tell it like it is! Friends who don’ t necessarily judge, yet are there to hear you vent and offer up criticism if and when needed, I regard them as pearls on the floor of the ocean. Lord knows, they’ve rushed me up to the surface for life-saving air.

6. COLORS

I’ll have to ask my mom in what types of activities she engaged while I was in the womb because I’ve always been fascinated by the phenomena that are colors. Without doubt, the endless hues around me stimulate my creativity. I can ride down a street and see a house with a fire hydrant red door or play around with paint swatches at a Home Depot and come away totally inspired and infused with ideas, forcing me to hurry to the nearest pen and sticky note. I am unapologetically visual. Claude Monet was on to something when he said, “Color is my day-long obsession, joy and torment.”

5. TEACHERS

When I refer to teachers, I must give credit to anyone whom I’ve come away from having learned something. If you taught me something about survival or just basic everyday living, I thank you. If it was about fitness, nutrition or finances, I’m indebted. For the unassuming couple who didn’t give out advice per se, yet there relationship embodies a goal worth aspiring towards, you deserve the title of professor as much as those credentialed pedagogues handing out syllabi and posting advisement hours outside a wooden door. Bless your hearts...

4. PEANUT BUTTER

Aside from the potassium, protein and monosaturated fat it provides, PB has come to be my adult pacifier I guess. The physical and mental grind(s) often true of long days, leave me wanting a quick fix. Seeing me come through the door, put down my keys and reaching for a spoon in route to the cupboard by the fridge with haste is no uncommon scene. No exaggeration: I go through multiple jars per week. I’ve come to heavily rely on the food’s texture, and I often think about it when it’s not near. In some circles, I believe it’s called fatal attraction or obsession or whatever. I’m not an addict; I can quit at anytime. Wait...excuse me...I have to venture to the cupboard.

3. RUNNING CLUBS

When people ask me about my ongoing love affair with the sport of running, I tell them this: “I’ve never solved one of my problems while running. But I guarantee you, I’d have more if I didn’t run.” The act of striding down city streets no matter the season is something so ingrained in me that when there is an unforeseen hiatus from the cherished pastime, my universe seems tilted and bent to a degree where all things become magnified yet lacking gravitational sense. Historically speaking, my runs have largely been solo efforts. This year, I found myself running with various groups on a weekly basis, and the experiences have not only spurred on a satisfying camaraderie, but more importantly helped in making me a better cheerleader. My running community truly is made up of individuals from all walks of life and varying athletic abilities, yet one things rings true across our anaerobic thresholds: we support and encourage one another along the roads, trails and hills we cross. The discipline of rooting others on translates to other facets and arenas, and I remain utterly proud to say: I AM A RUNNER. Long live Monday and Wednesday nights!

2. PAIN

Weird, trying, sad, eye-opening, revelatory, daunting, majestic, crowning, solitary, awe-inspiring and troubling are some of the many words I’d use to characterize the year that is 2019. Moreover, I’m calling it the most important year of my life thus far for various reasons, most notably the removal of certain comfort zones I operated in for so long. I’m thankful for the pain that comes about during the process of refinement. To borrow lyrics from the pop hit Thank You, Next, I’ve loved, and I’ve lost to a degree where I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. Is it possible for the chemical composition of a man to undergo extreme alterations yet his outside appearance remain the same? Verily, verily, verily I do think as much. I will only be alarmed when broken hearts tell us they are in no need of repair.

1. KIDS

To describe me without mentioning my children is to map out my internal organs and purposely leave out the tributaries which lead to my heart. Fatherhood is unequivocally the hardest role I have. However, I am reminded of its huge implications going forward and know all too well, its blessings tromp its frustrations. I’m thankful for all our adventures, for these are the times when I feel like the two of them- full of wonder and newness. I’m thankful for the nights when I read by their bedsides, knowing one day they’ll unintentionally phase me out. I’m grateful for the times when I set out to teach them something trivial, and I end up learning something profound. I’m thankful for the thought of them truly warms me on cold rainy days and invigorates a man’s weary legs. In fact, I’m just about thankful for all children. They seem to have life’s most important questions figured out. It’s those damn adults who get in their heads, and from there, the doubts and second-guessing commence.

This year, just what are you thankful for? I’d love to hear from you. And as always: he who wrote this, thanks you for giving him something you can’t get back. And that is your time. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone :)

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scifimagpie · 5 years

Text

What Even are Jokes?

Millennials - and now, Gen Z - have some weird coping mechanisms.

On a late-night browse through Twitter - which, honestly, tends to stir many ideas - I was reading one-liners and social justice observations while Bad Romance, a podcast about ill-conceived romantic comedies, played in the background. As one of the posts, Jourdain, plaintively asked her boyfriend, "why are you like this," I laughed. It's a favorite memetic joke of mine, and a standard in our household, often repeated when something has gone awry.

Similarly, other simple, despairing cries have become a form of humour - such as the one that inspired the title of this post.

youtube

Why are you like this?

A few years ago, it was Generation Y, the Millennials, who were supposed to Save Us All. Whether we do or not, however, it's impossible to deny that Generation Y - most of us barely in our 20s or 30s - are already exhausted.

Fatalistic, often beset by mental health issues, physical health issues, a history of trauma, societal marginalizations, poverty, or often, a combination of these, Millennials have turned to three coping mechanisms - weed, the internet, and each other. Perhaps it's an uncanny combination of all three that's led to a weird comedic renaissance.

Of course, sweeping and broad generalizations have their limits, but suffice to say that I'm talking about concepts that cross and touch on cultural elements from the queer community, the online community of people of colour, the disabled community and autistic community, and other overlapping groups - yes, including straight, cisgender, heterosexual, and white people. Many of us, as I've said, have various struggles right now, but the common language of memes and comedy often unites us.

For the lols

Comedy tends to fall in broad political groups. Those of us on the left try to eschew jokes that play on "punching down" and enforce marginalizing power structures. In search of comedy that doesn't reflect the regressive ethos of the 90s, our era of origin, a strain of Dadaist absurdism has formed the DNA of our comedy.

Millennial jokes and humour really give me pause. There are intricate rules of grammar, both visual and verbal, that must be obeyed for punchlines to land, but it's also easy to form new jokes using or playing on these rules. References to Tide Pods or moral panics of the day, InTenTiOnAlLy PoR oR iNcOmpRehEnSiBle WrItIng, a focus on poor judgement calls, and mental and physical health symptoms all characterize popular topics. GIFS and images - sometimes macros, sometimes on their own - work either as stand-alone punchlines or visual completions of verbal jokes. Some GIFS and images have taken on their own significance, often completely disconnected from the image's original context. Michael Jackson eating popcorn from a scene in the "Thriller" music video indicates an enjoyment of drama ensuing in a conversation thread. Kermit the Frog sipping a cup of Lipton tea indicates a sassy judgement.

Of course, there are many more. Ironic and sarcastic references to educational or edutainment television such as "The More You Know", to childhood favorite cartoons, and even anonymous photographs of strangers' cats can all serve as side-splitting punchlines. References to creative media that cross over with popular aphorisms from Twitter and Tumblr, and sometimes Reddit and Facebook, bleed in and out of fashion. Decontextualizing them for a moment, it's almost baffling or bewildering. Given that much of the humour is highly context-based or simply absurdist, some of it "pure" or "wholesome" (i.e. relying on positive, sweet, or heartwarming experiences) and some of it utterly fatalistic, it can be hard to understand how all of the jokes work, or even why they're important.

A brief history of suicide jokes

But very noticeable is the prevalence of jokes about death, suicide, and existentialism. Multiple media outlets have been horrified and fascinated and wagged their fingers at us for this type of humour.

However, these jokes were also very common during and just after the Great Depression - as demonstrated in a plethora of classic cartoons.

I think there's a sort of nihilistic argument that at least suicide restores a sense of control, and in a world where the climate crisis' impact is more visible than ever, where chronic mental health problems are an epidemic, and where access to medical care or time off for sickness is rarer and harder to get than it has been in decades (well, stable in its awfulness in some cases), maybe people feel like suicide is the one way to take things back. Maybe it's a way to make the very real possibility of succumbing to depression or other illnesses a bit less scary - whistling in the dark, as some writers used to call it. Absurdist things also tend to play into this. If we can't ignore our demons, perhaps we can befriend them.

Is it okay?

Honestly, I was stumped about what all of this means. Why do Millennials turn to humour like this to survive? What does it provide for us? My partner had a wry insight into the vital role comedy is playing in our survival. "Humour at times like this is an important act of balancing that allows us to reject the horrible situation we live with, while still existing in it. We have been told to accept what we have to pay bills and get by, but this balancing act allows us to not accept it, but live with and cope with it," he pointed out.

It also serves the role of a shibboleth, a passcode or phrase of recognition. Users of Tumblr, Twitter, and even Facebook become fluent in both memes from within their communities and outside them. For instance, members of politically conservative tribes (in the ethno-cultural sense of the word "tribe") are extremely fond of the Minions from the "Despicable Me" series, to the extent that Minions have developed their own independent associations.

On the other hand, certain phrases, such as a "good good [adjective or noun] boy" to describe a creature, object, or person of which the speaker approves, evolved out of the My Brother, My Brother, and Me podcast, but has a simple structure that makes it easy to replicate. Even without the original context of the show, the structure of the phrase has an inherent appeal and comedic elegance that gives it broad applicability to a variety of situations.

It's not as bad as it looks

Honestly? Any coping mechanism can be bad for one if it's used in place of self-improvement, but it's impossible to miss the sweeping waves of therapist jokes that have also taken over the internet. And maybe that's a good sign.

The key is to turn our jokes and fears into action. I'm not finished feeling shocked by how effective direct local action is compared to arguing on the internet. Using online connections to build local friendships and develop solidarity both far and nearby is really important, and for those who can't afford therapy, the support of friends really helps recovery.

***

Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people’s manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

Find her all over the internet: * OG Blog * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook * Tumblr * Paypal.me * Ko-fi

#comedy #generation z #millennials #nihilism #great depression #writing #history

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