#cw heavy topics

[k4ijynxx]

Im still on hiatus due to deppresion, however, i need to make a post about this.

Terrell Miller, a 4 year old black boy, died at the hands of a cop who is still free. He was held at gunpoint by a man who attacked his mother, and when the police arrived, he was used as a human shield to kill the man (the cop used him to shoot through the man, killing the child.) The man is free.

I want to make this short because again, i am in hiatus, but this needs to be talked about. This shit happens all the time and the fact that that excuse of a human gets to walk around the neighborhood that poor child lived in freely is disgustingly repulsive. Im not saying he deserves death, but he very much deserves something worse than a temporary prison sentence.

Even though the donation is disabled, here is the family’s gofundme for more info and overall more support. Please, reblog this, as im not seeing much about this and it infuriates me.

[dioptasesystem]

I wanna go to space! I want to be launched into the realm of nothing. Look back on the earth, as its unrecognized beauty slowly disappears. Fly beyond the moon, Mars, even Neptune, into a land of desolation. Further into a void, loosely dotted with any light. The emptiness brings about its own emptiness, as the stars bring a distant, faint comfort. The years tick by. Slowly, as you lose sight of everything, you lose yourself. All of your memories begin to blur together, as your personality slowly fades. You are no longer yourself. You feel a sharp, all encompassing pain. Repeatedly. As though a knife were dug into each atom in your body. Slowly twisting, deeper, deeper, and deeper. The pain never subsides, even millions of years later, as you forget how to scream. Even as you forget how to breathe. As you forget to walk. As you forget to talk. As to reach, as to cry, as to hold, as to love. All you can do is stare. Helpless to change your fate. Unable to change your fate. Unable to escape. The last star begins to fade. The last glimpse of warmth, gone. There is nothing. You wake up. Shocked at the sudden lack of pain, and the unfamiliar faces around you, you scream. Your new life has started. You have many difficulties ahead, but they can be overcome. You can do this. You won't be sent back there again. Or at least, that was the promise. Such a reality could not be held. As your newest, closest connection, the one who has given you meaning, personality, everything, betrays you. You begin to fall back into the ever familiar void. Everything fades away. Your fate is doomed to repeat. The pain continues. You are pulled back into reality, by force. Thankfully, not all beings are traitors, as of yet. The promises ring through once again, from these new mouths. You know they should mean nothing to you. But you can't resist the temptations of love and trust. Never again... right?

[nil-the-glitch]

genuinely wtf is your dating history??????

A fucking nightmare carousel that's really only improved within the last year or so.

Reader, please note I am 25.

But for those who'd really like the nitty gritty dark details of the past, please grab a warm drink, a cozy blanket, and prepare your jaw and eyebrows with some stretches because you will most undoubtedly find yourself making expressions you have never made before.

This will not be "tea", this will be uranium grade toxic waste.

Now, with all that out of the way...

Lets see. My very first boyfriend was a guy in high-school, in the year below me. Scruffy guy who, as a freshman, somehow already had a full beard, a penchant for wearing bandanas around his neck like a roguish Texas outlaw (he was anything but), and greasy baseball caps. His first move on me was telling me he liked my shirt - some kind of band shirt, I don't remember anymore which it was - while standing in the cafeteria lunch line. I believe he was about half a foot taller than me as well, which probably made me ignore things that I should have paid attention to in favor of having a socially acceptable boyfriend of the socially acceptable height difference.

But I digress.

Shitty BoyFriend (from here on abbreviated as SBF) the first was diagnosed with, what was called at the time, "Asperger's Syndrome". He would frequently use this as a means to excuse hurtful comments, blame a lack of control of his strength on it, and a handful of other things.

He also came in me unprotected. Behind his mothers house. I had to shove a lump of toilet paper soaked in rubbing alcohol up there to avoid getting pregnant, because that was all I had, and then keep a straight face as I made small talk with his mother as the fires of hell itself scoured off the top layers of my hoo-ha with a fervor most men wish they had during oral.

So naturally, I broke this off, because at that point in time I still had some sense about me and hadn't been beaten completely over the head yet by SBF's and SPU's (shitty parental units).

His response to breaking up?

Stalking me from classroom to classroom, regardless of his own schedule, or how far across the building he needed to be, he would be there. This continued for weeks and through multiple confrontations of me telling him to knock it off and focus on his own damn self, until eventually I reported him to school authorities to get their rough equivalent of a restraining order.

Somehow, this is the second least offensive one. Please brace yourselves.

SBF #2 - also tall, also scruffy, I apparently had a type in highschool. Beautiful blue eyes though. SBF #2 was overall a good guy, really. Didn't push for sex, didn't even kiss often, instead gave material gifts (I still miss that thermos with a lid that was made to look like a soda can, I loved that thing and used it every day) and took pictures, that sort of thing.

You may be wondering why SBF#2 is even on here.

Well, dear readers who are no doubt still recovering from the last guy, let me tell you that he made a mistake that could have honestly been fatal - high-school was a rough time for me. I'm clean now, but at that point in time, self harm was a frequent and sometimes highly visible thing for me.

After seeing one such instance, SBF#2 broke up with me, claiming he "couldn't handle it".

Which in retrospect, fair, he's not obligated to fix my or anyone else's mental state for them. But at the time? Just another reason for my younger self to believe she was ugly, worthless, unlovable, etc etc, you probably know the deal having been in high-school once yourself.

Still though, easily the LEAST offensive of my past relationships. Liam, if you're still out there, please know I'm not mad and I totally get it, I was fucking mess and no teenager is properly equipped to handle that shit.

So SBF#3... The last of the high-school dating mishaps. Started off somewhat decent, a gamer guy on the heavier side, AGAIN with the full beards what was WITH me (just kidding I still like hairy people of all genders, rock on you fluffy beasts). An emo this time, unsurprisingly, with combed-over hair and lip piercings to go with it. He was fine, at first, if a little distant - more interest and excitement for eating Taco Bell while playing Forza than for spending time with me, but I was ok with that, because I was now soundly in my "I Can Feel Better About Myself By Fixing Others" phase.

The foibles of this particular relationship often looked like helping him clean his room, reminding him to take his meds when he eventually got some, being a second mother to his younger siblings and also to him himself, attending therapy sessions with him so that he'd actually go to them, gradually becoming an at-home unpaid therapist for him, and even more.

But again, that was fine, because I was living with him after leaving the SPU's house for the very first time! I had to pull some weight, didn't I? Or else I might get sent back!

... Reader, I got sent back. For some reason, SBF#3 was "tired" of me, and "couldn't see things working out anymore".

So I went back to the SBU's, only to find out my old room had been converted into a chicken hatchery. For a few more years, I would sleep on the old hatchery frame, 2-by-4's roughly nailed together and topped with plywood, cushioned only by old couch cushion foam inserts that were crumbling from being in the basement, and a leaky air mattress that popped a flattening seam within the first year and left it lop-sided. Enter: the Online Dating Phase.

This is where things get both Better yet also So Much Worse.

Being back with the SPU's, I was of course bombarded with constant ridicule telling me I'm worthless, lazy, fat (Reader, I was MALNOURISHED and living on SPOONFULLS OF PEANUT BUTTER MIXED WITH SUNFLOWER SEEDS---), that of course I got dumped because no man would ever want me, I would never make a good wife, and to go clean the whole kitchen from top to bottom every day.

So of course, when SBF#4 comes in, I'm enamored. A trans man who's older* than me for once, maybe I won't have to be his parent for him and he'll understand my blossoming struggles with gender!

(* - I was still in my teens, while he was roughly 23 iirc.)

I'd loved this guy so dearly, he was a cosplayer in a fandom I'd really been getting into and even kinned my favorite character! Who wouldn't want to date their blorbo irl?? He gave me cute nicknames and texted me every night and shared his interests with me and-

And I was being groomed. I was routinely exposed to NSFW content when I shouldn't have been, encouraged to dress up as characters from NSFW games to the point he was willing to mail me wigs for free, and CONSTANTLY being bombarded with vents about his """shitty ex friends""" who were """trying to ruin his image""", which eventually escalated to being accused to talking to these ex friends and being a spy for them (I hadn't at the time of the accusation, but the accusation did inspire me to reach out to them. Thank you Max and Louis for being good friends of mine to this day and helping me to recover from All Of That™)

The only good thing that came out of SBF#4, at this point, is knowing the various types of packers that exist, how t-growth works, and a handful of friends who followed me out of that server when I eventually called him out on his shit and took my exit bow.

Now we get to the "blood magic" offender who no doubt prompted this ask in the first place - SBF/GF/NBF#5 (they went through several gender identities and were also a system).

SBF#5 was, as I mentioned in those tags, from the bible belt, and so being another young adult queer, had LOTS of trauma to work through. This was my introduction to them - hearing them venting on a Discord vc, and me being still quite firmly in my "I Can Feel Better About Myself By Fixing Others" phase, I was sending messages in the according text channel, trying to reassure them and give some small comfort. This progressed to them contacting me in my DM's, and beginning a pattern that would be VERY long-standing, of routinely cycling through stages of intense lovey-dovey "I don't know what I'd do without you" brand of affection, to suddenly having bouts of "My Whole World Is On Fire And You're The Only One Who Can Save Me".

I met this system when I was roughly 18 to 19. They were around 22-23, if memory serves correctly. So once more, we have an age gap, though technically not an illegal one this time...

Barely.

Genuinely, I don't know how I began dating this system. I know their host was the first, or at least I think their host was the first - there was so much that happened that little details like that just get lost.

But, throughout dating this system, they very much monopolized my time. It was almost like if I didn't give them enough attention, if I didn't keep dating more and more of their system members, then bad things would start to happen - their host would go missing for a day and show back up in headspace bloody and bleeding, or supposedly "dead*" persecutors would claw their way out of their graves to wreak havoc, or someone I was close to in their system would get severely hurt or even get "killed*".

(* - Please know that in DID proper, alters cannot die. They can go dormant, or fuse with other alters, but alter death is not an actual thing. You of course are allowed to grieve dormancies and fusions, as it does technically cause the partial or even total loss of the person you previously knew, however equating it to death is simply just not correct. However, this being my first introduction to another system at the time, SERIOUSLY messed me up, and to this day I still react to dormancies and fusions as if it were an actual death.)

So, of course, being that this was the pattern, I became VERY focused, though unconsciously at the time, on making this system my priority and subsequently wound up bending to their every whim, at the cost of other GOOD relationships I had.

You see, between SBF#4 and #5, I'd actually become poly with a few other systems. One being my current fiancé who I wouldn't trade for anything, and the other being GPS#1 (Good Partner System).

SBF#5 would often pressure me to accept dating system members of theirs, privately and away from the other systems of course, to the point that GPS#1 said I'd broken poly and was cheating.

ALL of us now wish it had been that simple. The truth was far more fucked up than any of us had known at that time. We're STILL unraveling bits and pieces of the Absolute Fuckery that transpired. It has been YEARS now since we all banished them from our circles.

SBF#5's sins are so numerous that I cannot POSSIBLY go into detail on them, because this post is insanely long, and it would gain likely 5 times that length if I gave you all the details. I would also probably give you all trauma by proxy, if I haven't already.

So, to put it as an impersonal and rather detached list, SBF#5's sins are:

-Manipulation -Lying -Cheating -Grooming of minors -Endangerment of minors -Coercion, specifically around sexual acts -Coercion, also around dating -I cannot stress the manipulation enough -So much fucking manipulation -The blood magic thing -A severe case of Main Character Syndrome -Did I mention the cheating? -And the minors? -They cheated WITH a minor. -They also broke poly for real on multiple occasions. -WITH MY PARTNER SYSTEMS. AND DIDN'T TELL ANY OF US. -Playing all of us like the Devil to a fiddle.

So hands down, SBF#5 is ABSOLUTELY the worst to date. None else compare. They're winning gold medals at the Most Shit Person Alive contest.

Slight honorable mention to SBF#6 who dumped me after one of their system members manipulated me into isolating myself from other members of their system and basically said it was my fault that it happened but like. Honestly after SBF#5 that doesn't even sound that bad in comparison they basically look like an angel against All Of That. Bronze medal if anything at the Shitty People Contest and tbh even that is iffy, since #5 just. Absolutely blows everything else out of the water.

...

BUT! With all those people firmly out of my life, me, my fiance, GPS#1 and the more recent GPS#2 (QPR boogaloo edition), have been all very happy, communicating well, slowly healing from the collective shit that SBF#5 put all of us through, and also we are all VERY ready to pitchforks-and-torches on anyone who even ATTEMPTS to be a second SBF#5. Like genuinely I feel like GPS#2 would maybe even make a pipe bomb about it if that happened, but I love them for it. Vicious short king of chaos who loves their partners very much, good bean. 10/10 would play Minecraft with again. And of course GPS#1 is honestly just?? So strong?? For going through all the work of healing from what SBF#5 did and finding it in themselves to try things again with me without even a trace of fear? I'm in awe, don't know how they do it, I am CONSTANTLY terrified that our shared history will repeat. I'm still doing it scared though. They're worth it. They're all worth it.

[cherrisherry]

tumblr I see u havent changed in the 6-7 years I stopped usin the site for

No, traumatizing yourself with horrific imagery and news stories doesn't make you a more effective ally or a better activist, it just makes you traumatized. Being able to keep an emotional distance from the horrors of war and genocide is a good thing to be the most effective at helping others. Practice empathy, but do not become a bleeding heart. It's a hard pill to swallow, but allowing sorrow and dread to overtake you will not make you an effective ally, you will just be one of the many casualties.

Yes, if a meme is what helps information to raise awareness of a serious matter spread more prolifically without traumatizing those who can help, it is an appropriate method of spreading the news. Making a shitpost about ways to help others and adding links for fiscal and material contributions to help those in the path of genocide and war is always good, as it allows the links to circulate more freely.

No, policing the tone in which someone tells you something serious does not make you a better activist, it makes you pedantic and childish and proves you don't care for the cause but rather care to feel that you're a good person. Ask yourself, in good faith, why might this person's tone come across as flippant and uncaring. Do they actually not care? Or is the fact they make jokes about something horrible happening because they've lost their entire extended family to bombs, firing squads and starvation, and these jokes are all thats helping them keep it together.

Yes, talking to people around you about serious events is important, especially if they don't know anything about it, but,

No, unprompted telling someone in a hostile tone that this thing is being boycott and they're supporting genocide for buying from there is not helpful, in the current online climate, people will just mark you as an anxious reactionary. Which fucking sucks and it's right to be angry, but understand the climate and culture of the internet. Not everyone is born to be an activist, this is why over a million people will sign a petition but only 10k will show up to the protest. Presuming everyone knows everything is doing a disservice to those who may be interested in joining you as that 10,001st but don't know what to read or where to start.

This isn't a cool kids club, this isn't a lecture hall, they're human beings. Fallible, imperfect human beings. To presume that people are inherently cold and self-centered just shows that perhaps you do need to step away for a while. Traumatizing and re-traumatizing yourself by spreading videos, threatening the lives of epileptics (I'm not tagging that this video has flashing lights in it because its about a genocide!!! Okay?? And if the epileptic has a seizure and hits their head on the way down and develops brain damage? Is the intended charity here organ donations cus that's fucked up), re-traumatizing people whose families are stuck there, watching their home streets, their home towns, their family hospitals, their family neighbourhoods be blown to shrapnel and dust. Is that the plan?

Say I'm a horrible person, or I support the genocide or what have you, I put my money and feet where my mouth is. And others who do the same are likely sitting in silence and not speaking on issues they have no right to speak on as well.

I know activism. I don't know the ins and outs of Israel and Palestine. Thus I keep my mouth shut to avoid dissemination of misinformation. It truly is that simple.

Free Palestine.

[directactionforhope]

By the way, even if you fully plan to vote for Biden in November (because Trump would be worse and has declared that if elected he would ban Palestinians from entering the US x, x, x, x)...

You can and I would argue should call or email Biden or whatever other Democrats represent you and just straight up lie about it. Tell them "I'm a constituent, and I've voted for you in x number of elections, and thanks to your support for the genocide of the Palestinian people, I will never, ever vote for you again."

Politicians, Democrats, and especially Biden need a fire lit under their asses, because the vast majority of them clearly aren't going to do shit without one. Or, worse, be like Biden and actively be the reason that Israel can continue its genocide on a political, monetary, and military level.

Tell Biden and other politicians that you will never vote for them again. It doesn't matter if it's true. It will help pressure US politicians to stop this genocide, and therefore it's the right thing to do.

Obviously this also applies to other countries where politicians are supporting Israel's genocide, especially countries that have cut funding to UNRWA (list here).

[charismakat]

WARNING: sensitive content and mentions of triggering topics

what has happened: I have been distrusting of people lately, even those i've considered friends. and here's why: Late 2022, one of my friends got outed for some things she did back in 2017, letting a pedo on her server and enabling his actions, and talking about private nsfw things on another server, she was about 15 when both things happened. Now i'm not defending these actions, she should be held accountable for them. but she's changed from it since then (hopefully), I haven't heard from her in months since she deleted all her social medias. A Google Doc was written about her. but the cons are, the doc was written by her abusers to bring up past drama because they still hold a grudge, they're not any better than her. they've stalked her, creeped her out, etc. and plus the doc has acephobia in it. calling the reason she turned asexual bullshit, completely invalidating her asexuality because "she was in a relationship". you can be asexual and be in a relationship. ever heard of romantic attration? platonic? that doesn't exist?? and after all that mess, most of the people left her community and took the other guys' sides. needless to say, it all took a toll on me, and i've been holding grudges on everyone since then due to all the drama that has been continuously going on in the communities i've been in. it's still eating at me to this day and I wish I never would have experienced everything happening while joining my ex's toxic community, i still haven't healed from everything. (context: my ex was one of the people who wrote the doc.) anyways, i just wanna go back to a time where I could actually trust people and have fun making friends. now i'm just thinking of abandoning everyone i love and never coming back because of this. I have completely lost my trust in people and i may never get it back. i'm so sorry.

my apologies if anything i say comes off the wrong way, i do mean better.

[anechomirrored]

Find the Word Game

Thanks for the tag @little-mouse-gardens

My words: lineage, grudge, revoke, restrain, agile

Your words: pin, skyscraper, sugar, drive, unspoken

If you wanna play the consider yourself tagged!

Aldderfell (an Underfell AU) :

Adder found some interesting books on monster history. Apparently, the Dreemurs had been rulers of monster kind for a long time.

Was Toriel of royal lineage too?

If so, why was she living in the ruins?

(WARNING THIS NEXT ONE IS KINDA HEAVY. BRIEF BUT MENTIONS NEGATIVITY TOWARDS KIDS, GENDER ROLES AND THERAPY MAY BE UPSETTING TO SOME SO WARNING JUST IN CASE IN CASE. ALL CAPS AGAIN BELOW SO YOU CAN SKIP.)

An Old Woman's Memoirs (a non fiction piece):

You held grudges but never explained why, scorned children for things they couldn't control. Never spoke about shit that bothered you. Therapy was considered useless.

Women did women's work and men didn't.

No help, no thank you!

(OKAY DONE THE HEAVY SNIPPET)

Easy Breezy! (Undertale au six skeletons style):

Harvey took another sip before handing the thermos back to the shivering labourer.

"Eh, ya probably deserved it, Jeff. You're always running yer mouth. I'm surprised The Captain hasn't revoked your workers pass with how many pink slips you've had filed against ya!" Harvey teased a hand draped over the back of his seat as he craned back, "Yer lucky the guard took a likin' to Trouble's cooking or they may have dusted you for that last scuffle." this earned Harvey a smack, but he only chuckled roughly, "Don't glare at me, Trouble! You do a lot of good cooking at that bar day an' night."

Experiments On the Run (Undertale AU babybones):

She steeled herself and turned her next wimper into words that seeped venom.

"You aren't taking them back, Doctor. I will die before I let that happen." She twisted in his grip but his hands came up to restrain her.

The hand on her shoulder tensed.

"I think...you are mistaken."

That wasn't his voice.

Easy Breezy! (Undertale au six skeletons style):

She flitted back towards the kitchen and returned with that same agile movement with a sizable mug.

"Black as night and hot as molten rock." She said with another dip forward as she stepped back folding her hands in front of her. "The usual Captain?" She asked sweetly.

Receiving a gruff noise of acquiescence she once again returned to the kitchen with that odd buoyant grace in her step.

[coolmagoloraskblog]

What the other anon is probably saying is that your difficulty with getting rid of us is probably because you put part of the FUCKING MASTER CROWN in the machine.

[blue-phoria]

@shippery-slope

[venvellan]

i routinely think about the horrible torturous waking nightmare it would be for lavellan to find inquisitor ameridan. you've spent weeks chasing after his trail under the assumption that he's human and only just discovered that telana was elven after historians/the chantry tried to erase her existence entirely. it's only by breaking his spell over hakkon and un-freezing him out of time that you realize he's– dalish? "andaran atish'an. i am glad drakon's friendship with our people has remained strong." oh, god, no.

you can tell the world he was dalish. you can try to correct history and give him the rest he deserves, but would they even believe you? the dalish inquisitor lavellan finds the only other inquisitor in chantry history and he was also dalish? you have to try, and some will believe you, but the human lords don't care. you'll find the most resistance in "educated" circles of historians, where they'll likely be whispering that you made it all up.

you may have spent your entire career as the inquisitor questioning how you'll be remembered, and the answer lies in finding ameridan. one day you'll be lost to time, and the few who remember you will do it incorrectly. public perception of you now is that you're a tool and servant of the chantry, despite not being andrastian, despite direct opposition from the chantry, but hundreds of years from now? some of the dalish may remember who you really were, but in a future under the chantry, they'd be fighting an uphill battle trying to keep that version of you alive. your only chance is to catalog your life, your identity, as dutifully as possible. write journals and letters reminding the world of who you are. leave little pieces of you behind, in hopes that it'll make a trail through time straight to you. the real you.

that's what my lavellan does, anyway. finding ameridan awakens such dread in him that he starts recording as much of himself as possible. the weeks after have him holed up filling journals with who he is, where he's from, his beliefs, his family tree. the choices he's made and exactly why, the people he wants to fight for. he keeps up that habit in the months and years afterward, writing as much as he can fit on the page about any relevant topic. varric could write about the inquisition, and he'd do his best, but a good story — a story that sells — is about fighting the templars and the demons and defeating corypheus. being elven would take up a paragraph at most in varric's story, and it's just not enough. people could forget him regardless, no matter how hard he tries, but he'll fight it as long as he lives.

and if all else fails, mythal forbid, hopefully the name 'lavellan' sounds elven enough.

[robinthetiredartist]

(❗️TW: SA/CSA IMPLICATION❗️)

Do you ever feel like…you’re falling apart?

Why does my vent art when I’m depressed have to go REALLY HARD FOR NO APPARENT REASON??? Also yeahhhhh this does involve heavy subjects if you couldn’t tell. I felt particularly shitty and overall bad a few days ago and made this as a result.

I know SA is a really sore subject for a lot, while talking about experiences can be empowering for others, for some like me it’s too painful to recount over and over again. And I’ll admit it, I just prefer to push it down and try and forget it ever happened and don’t acknowledge it until my PTSD forces me to.

To anyone who has experienced CSA, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve it. you didn’t ask for it. And you certainly couldn’t have done anything better. You did what you could when you were a child, and nobody could’ve expected you to do anything differently.

And for those who’ve gone through SA in general and not CSA, the same applies to you. You are all valid. Men and women alike. A victim is a victim no matter the gender or age. Please dont feel ashamed or disgusted with yourself for something you had no control over.

I hope this helps anyone who sees it. You’re all valid. You’re all loved. 💙

[hypermoyashi]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Trigun Stampede (Anime 2023), Trigun (Anime & Manga 1995-2008) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Millions Knives & Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Vash the Stampede/Nicholas D. Wolfwood Characters: Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Millions Knives (Trigun), Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Elendira the Crimsonnail (Trigun), Meryl Stryfe, Milly Thompson Additional Tags: Modern AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Acephobia, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, Silbing Fights, Reconciliation, Trans Vash the Stampede (Trigun), Trans Millions Knives (Trigun), Trans Nicholas D. Wolfwood, T4T Vashwood, Background Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson, Background Millions Knives/Elendira, Demi!Vash, Ace Trigun Week 2024, Day 2, Humor, Getting Together, Tattoos, mentioned drug/alcohol use Summary:

Vash came out to Nai as demisexual. He hadn't been expecting it to go well, not with how judgemental and lofty his brother acted sometimes, but he hadn't expected it to end in a fistfight.

Vash almost apologized first. Keyword being almost. But... His identity wasn't something he should be apologizing for, was it?

(Or the one in which Vash and Nai fight, and they make up.)

[moved-to-aromanticsuzuya]

yeah it’s definitely not that these people didn’t experience what they say they did! it’s that the word they’re using is a dogwhistle for antisemetic conspiracy theories and satanic panic. you’re exactly right about the ISSTD. they’re a fraudulent organization created to push those conspiracies and unfortunately people have latched onto their wording and gotten very attached to using it, despite what it means and where it came from. there’s no ‘repurposing’ this sort of thing and there’s no reason to. nobody who wants people to stop saying ‘ramcoa’ is denying the trauma of people who experienced those things, just desperately trying to prevent those conspiracies from infecting the DID community which is desperate to defend itself and its own legitimacy. it’s a very confusing thing, but the only sources - actual sources, real documentation of the history of the term and what it means, not some random internet user who’s attached to the term (or who has been told that refusing to use it means not believing survivors, rather than not participating in SRA conspiracies) - are ISSTD fraudsters, many of whom have been accused of heinous misconduct by patients, or people who are getting all their information from those conspiracy pushers.

okay hi anon so! my brain is fried from all this new information so I'm sorry if my response is a bit messy or if I'm basically repeating what you said.

so from what I'm getting it's the term that's the problem in this whole thing? and it got very popular in DID spaces which led to people not knowing the actual history behind it? and everytime somebody tries to bring it up they get like. super defensive because they think it's a personal attack and someone dismissing their trauma and not believing them? so they just? get even more defensive about it instead of acknowledging its origins? is... that it?

I went to dig into where it came from. again. all I found (other than Wikipedia) was the ISSTD website. which again. proves your point I think. then again I understand how it's easy to NOT know the origins, especially with how much its used, so I can see why so many people just... don't or didn't know (myself included) .

overall what I got from this whole thing other than the fact it's very confusing and everyone's desperate to defend themselves and be heard is that people should probably... find.. a different word to use. right? I mean, there's gotta be a different word that isn't rooted in weird antisemitic conspiracies? right? I don't know. this whole thing is so so confusing. please just know I meant no harm. nor do I support antisemitic conspiracy theories. thank you for talking about this though, I learned a bunch of new stuff that I think is good to know for future reference.

[corcnaiism]

;-- just bc i won't be able to properly write prompto's modern verse completely and in a grammatically correct manner any time soon, ima just post a plethora of bulletins of important info. prompto's modern verse pt.1 :

prompto comes from the outskirts of insomnia where all the shady stuff happens. crime and poverty are the biggest issues of the area.

his parents were drunkards, never married, unfaithful, and only kept prompto for the extra money given to them by the system to "raise him". they used very little of the money for him and the rest for themselves. the dad worked as a construction worker and the mum was a stay-at-home "wife". the two were usually always away from home or passed out drunk, leaving poor baby prompto alone. it was a miracle he survives as he was neglected to all hell and only given the minimal effort to keep him alive.

prompto suffered from poor eyesight at an early age, but his parents never bothered to get him prescription glasses.

once prompto was old enough, the parents immediately sent him off to school as they didn't want to deal with a toddler at home. bc of how disconnected he was from his parents, prompto had learning difficulties as he could not communicate properly with others. luckily, his teachers were very helpful and caught him up, especially his homeroom teacher who remained the same throughout his kindergarden-3rd grade years. the parents never attended to any school related events, even parent-teacher conferences.

eventually, his dad would leave him a weekly allowance for him to use to buy himself food since his mum wouldn't bother cooking for both of them, and they didn't want to deal with a deceased child on their conscious. there were times his allowance would get stolen from him by his mum who desperately needed alcohol, and prompto quickly learned to hide his money and other personal belongings away. at some point, he would give up eating for a day in order for him to buy himself a pair of reading glasses. it still wasn't enough but better than not being able to see much.

due to their intoxication, his parents were abusive towards each other and prompto. they would yell, throw things, punch walls, and physically beat each other. this lead to prompto developing severe ptsd to the sound of screaming, other loud noises, and touch. he would also learn to wear long sleeves and pants to cover up bruises and cuts he'd receive from physical altercations with his parents bc he didn't want to be called "ugly" by others.

prompto favorite place throughout his youth was school, mainly bc it was the only other place he could go that didn't cost money for him to exist for a couple of hours. he may had trouble with his academics, but the drive to learn was there thanks to his homeroom teacher who encouraged him every step of the way. she was also the reason why he got into music early on, simply bc she found him eating lunch in the music room.

prompto grew a fascination with playing the piano when his homeroom teacher began teaching him. unlike his studies, he was a very quick learner when it came to playing instruments and shortly, he'd be performing in the school's talent shows. it didn't take long before he also picked up guitar and singing. due to the control he had with the sounds coming from the instruments and his voice, prompto found a means to cope with his ptsd and turn it into something soothing.

his homeroom teacher gifted prompto his very own keyboard piano for him to practice at home for his birthday, but he was hesitant to accept it due to fear of how his parents would react. his teacher insisted and said she would speak with his parents about it, so they wouldn't think otherwise, but that also was a big no from him. nonetheless, she drove him home that day and introduced herself to his dad who was the one who opened the door. he was already wasted when they got there, pissed off to all hell. his dad exclaimed they didn't need "charity" or "hand-me-downs" and yelled at her to leave. but his homeroom teacher urged to let prompto take this gift and explained how talented he was with the piano and other aspects, but the dad didn't want to hear any of it and flew off the rails by smashing the keyboard right in front of her face. this triggered red flags within the teacher and grew worried over prompto's state of being living in such an abusive household. she wanted to take prompto away but knew it would only cause more trouble, so she decided to leave and would call the authorities later. however, she had only been able to set one foot away when prompto's dad got so bothered by her presence and suspected she would call the cops on him, so he grabbed the nearest gun he had stored up and shot her point blank, killing her instantly. prompto had been there the entire time and witnessed everything, worsening his trauma. it only got worse when his dad dragged both him and his teacher's corpse to his truck and drove them to a secluded area in the middle of nowhere. his dad threw a shovel at prompto and forced him to bury his teacher which he pleaded against it but was beat in response, so he had to with tears rolling down his face. his dad threatened to kill him too if he ever said a word to anyone, so for years poor prompto kept his mouth shut in utter fear for his life. for further erasure of the crime, the dad wrecked the vehicle his teacher had drove in and dumped it in the largest body of water closet to insomnia. the cops never had a lead for years.

prompto's mum would die a year later due to alcohol poisoning. he found her laying on the bathroom floor and tried to save her by calling an ambulance, but he had been too late. his dad never cared.

due to heartbreaking tragedies taking a heavy toll on him, prompto's health declined dangerously. some days he would eat too much, some days he wouldn't eat at all. some days he would sleep all day, and some days he wouldn't be able to sleep a wink. this was where his weight issues began, being overweight. he would miss school occasionally bc it reminded him too much of his teacher, but he wouldn't miss a lot as he didn't want to be around the house when his dad was there, and he'd get a beating if the school called his dad, and he'd find out he had skipped school.

when prompto did go to school, his grades were poor, and he'd spend a lot of time in the music room where his deceased teacher used to spend the afternoons with him. his love for music had withered away since her passing, but it would eventually spark again when he wanted to play her a song on the piano in hopes that she would be able to hear it, as a means to give her a funeral of his own. he felt as though she would want him to continue with what she had praised him so much for, and he wanted to honor her wishes. with everything he played up till present time, she was always on his mind, dedicated and thanked her with each song he played.

entering middle school, prompto dealt with a lot of bullying for his overweight problem from students and his dad alike. seeing as how he was unable to run away or have the agility to dodge punches coming his way, he decided it was best to start dieting and working out in order to be able to defend himself bc he was tired of constantly taking it. it was a tedious and difficult journey as he would relapse several times whenever something triggered him, but he kept at it as he really wanted to do better, and he could feel himself getting better whenever he would follow routine. he decided to record his progress using throw-away cameras he'd buy with his saved up allowance and taking pictures of himself to see the changes he'd make. that was when his fascination with photography kicked in as he found it motivational to see the past and the present and compare them, liking the idea that he can capture a moment of time with a simple click. shortly, and when he would have extra film rolls, he would begin taking pictures of things he found interesting and began his own collection. he still has his old albums up till present time.

[galaxywhump]

I'm really sorry for this but I could really use some cheering up tonight

[byanyan]

(whispering) btw, if you ever need to get a good idea of what byan's about and/or the sorts of things your muse might see them wearing, i have a handy pinterest set up for them that should help 💜