#data structure interview questions

[justnshalom]

Mastering Technical Interview Questions: A Comprehensive Guide

Mastering Technical Interview Questions: A Comprehensive Guide Are you preparing for a technical interview? You’re not alone! Technical interviews can often be challenging and intimidating, but with the right preparation, you can increase your chances of success. In this guide, we will cover some key areas that frequently come up in technical interviews. Whether you are applying for a software…

[limatsoftsolutionsworld]

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[hellotailor]

armand’s costumes are such an interesting data point re: his nebulous sense of identity.

when analyzing any costume, there are always many factors to consider: the setting, the character’s personal taste and economic constraints, storytelling concerns like tone and genre, etc. with armand, we also need to remember that he’s 500 years old and violently disconnected from his human origins. everything he wears has an element of disguise, selected to blend into a new environment.

armand was enslaved as a child in 16th century delhi, and barely remembers his mortal life. unlike louis - who can return to new orleans after 80 years and reconnect with his past - armand has no home to return to. his whole backstory, even his name, is rife with traumatic subtext, leaving him with an obsessive need for structure and control. this adds an extra layer of meaning to costuming choices that initially seem like straightforward menswear. 

armand’s 1940s wardrobe is very put-together - primarily three-piece suits and coats that make him look wealthier and more formal than louis, who is purposefully dressing down. most of these outfits are tailored to bulk up armand's frame, leaning into the "maitre" persona. and like his business-casual dubai wardrobe, he always leaves his collar open. when i interviewed costume designer carol cutshall, she described this as a symbolic power move, signalling that he's an apex predator who doesn't need to protect his throat.

my personal interpretation is that while armand clearly likes to look good, he has a complicated relationship with attractiveness. he doesn't always want to draw attention. his color palette is shadowy (black, grey, brown, olive green), and he’s much less flashy than the other Théâtre vamps. however when he’s feeling confident and flirty, he becomes more of a power-dresser - for instance his hunting outfit with the big coat and sunglasses, or his habit of wearing kohl.

interestingly, most of armand's 1940s costumes set him apart from the coven. the Théâtre vampires dress like cabaret performers, embracing a lot of period-specific styles. by contrast armand is more timeless and neutral. in fact, due to the relatively minor changes in men's suits over the past 100 years, there's a lot of overlap between his wardrobe in the 1940s, '70s and 2020s:

the rest of the Théâtre squad share an unofficial uniform of boldly clashing monochrome patterns with pops of bright color. meanwhile armand has a very plain wardrobe, emphasizing the image of him as a businesslike authority figure surrounded by zany artistes. he only wears subtle stripes on a few occasions in the '40s, reflecting the recurring prison motif we see in lestat's trial suit and (most famously) the dubai penthouse bedroom:

if we ask the question, "what does this person like to wear?" there are easy answers for lestat, louis and claudia. we understand their tastes, and the motives behind them. but armand is more enigmatic. we can recognize through-lines in his wardrobe, but his "taste" is dominated by whatever role he's currently decided to embody, whether that's a parisian theater director or a real estate mogul in dubai.

the times when he appears to have the most fun with clothing are when he steals a pair of sunglasses from his human dinner (!) and when he's pretending to be rashid. in other words, when he's explicitly performing for an audience. "real armand" is still a mystery.

(i may write more about armand's dubai wardrobe later, but for now, you can find all of my iwtv costumes posts on this tag!)

[technicalfika]

A Comprehensive Guide to HCL Interview Questions for Freshers

A Comprehensive Guide to HCL Interview Questions for Freshers

When it comes to landing your dream job at HCL (Hindustan Computers Limited), preparation is key. Whether you’re interviewing for a technical role or going through HR rounds, you need to be ready to answer a wide range of questions. To help you on your journey, we’ve compiled a list of common HCL interview questions and provided answers to assist freshers like you. Technical Interview…

[natsaffection]

Ohh an idea 💡 in my head and I know you are perfect to write this, basically reader is working at a company that is run by bad guys but doesn't know it, so natasha is sent on a mission to get close to her and gather Intel, so couple weeks pass and reader finds out in the most distraught way which causes her to end everything with Natasha but still have a good heart decides to give everything natasha needs to take down the company, (happy ending or sad ending either works) 💝

Showing everything. | N.R

Warnings: Just Angst?

Word count: 8,4k

A/n: I'm so grateful every time I finish a Ask that's been on my list for weeks. So thank you for your patience each time. 🫶🏼

You had always dreamed of finding a job where you could make a difference in the world, but you never thought it would come in the form of an elegant office in the heart of New York City. The building, a towering glass structure shimmering in the sunlight, housed one of the city's most prestigious companies. Kinetica Industries. They were known for their groundbreaking technology and humanitarian efforts, advancing medical equipment and energy supply that had revolutionized the industry. It was a dream job, almost impossible to turn down.

You stumbled upon the opportunity by chance. A late night scrolling through endless job listings led you to Kinetica's website. The company was looking for someone with your exact skills: data analysis and project management. The job description was vague but intriguing. Analyzing trends, managing large datasets, coordinating with various departments. It sounded challenging yet rewarding, the kind of opportunity you needed to prove yourself. The application process was quick, almost too quick. A few online assessments, a virtual interview with a charming man who headed your department, and within a week, you were offered the job. They said they were impressed by your resume, your background in bioinformatics, and your impeccable reputation. The salary was more than generous, with benefits that seemed almost too good to be true. But eager to start fresh and leave the stagnation of your previous job behind, you didn't question it further. You accepted immediately.

Your first day was a whirlwind of activity. The office itself was as impressive as the building's exterior. Elegant, modern, with floor-to-ceiling windows offering a panoramic view of the city. The air buzzed with innovation, with teams of people tirelessly working on the next big thing. You were given a tour, introduced to your colleagues. Bright, motivated people who all seemed to share your enthusiasm for the work. Your role was exactly as described, but with a small twist. You were part of a special project they called "The Initiative." It involved collecting and analyzing data from various sources to create predictive models that could be used for everything from disease prevention to energy distribution. It sounded noble, and you were thrilled to be part of something that could change the world.

But as you settled into your new role, you couldn't help but notice the layers of secrecy surrounding certain aspects of your work. Some files were restricted, accessible only with special clearance. Occasionally, your requests for specific datasets were met with vague answers or outright refusal. But whenever doubts arose, you reminded yourself that every company had its secrets, especially one as influential as Kinetica.

Meanwhile, in a dimly lit office in the underground levels of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, Natasha Fury sat across from you, the tension in the air almost palpable. "Romanoff," Fury began, his single eye piercing through the twilight, "we have a problem. Kinetica Industries." Natasha leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. "The tech company? They've been on our radar for a while, haven't they?"

"They have." Fury confirmed. "But new intel suggests they're more than just a tech company. We believe they're a front for something far more dangerous. We suspect they're involved in illegal arms trading, possibly even human experimentation. But we need proof." Natasha nodded, understanding where this was going. "And that's where I come in."

"Exactly. We've identified someone on the inside, Y/N Y/L/N. She's new, only started about a week ago. As far as we can tell, she's clean. No criminal record, no ties to any organizations. She's the perfect target to infiltrate." Natasha leaned forward, studying the file Fury slid across the table. Your face stared back at her from the photo clipped to the top of the file, a bright smile, eyes full of hope. Natasha couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, but she pushed it aside. This was a mission, and she had a job to do.

"What's the plan?" she asked, flipping through the file. "You'll go undercover as someone with a similar background, a data analyst, someone they might hire if the current employee doesn't work out. Your task is to gain her trust, find out what Y/n knows. If she's innocent, she might unknowingly be sitting on crucial information. If not.."

"I'll find out," Natasha finished, her voice cold and determined. Fury nodded, satisfied. "We need to act fast. Every day we wait is another day Kinetica could move their operations. I'm counting on you, Romanoff." Natasha stood up, tucking the file under her arm. "I won't let you down."

As she left Fury's office, her thoughts were already spinning with possibilities, strategies, and the cool detachment that came with every undercover mission. She knew this wouldn't be easy. You were innocent, or at least you seemed to be. But Natasha had learned the hard way that appearances could be deceiving. Her mission was clear: get close to you, gather the information, and expose Kinetica for what they really were. But as she prepared to step into your world, Natasha couldn't shake the feeling that this mission would become more complicated than she anticipated.

Your first weeks at Kinetica Industries were a whirlwind of new faces, complex datasets, and an overwhelming amount of information. You were slowly getting used to the office routine when you heard about the new hire. Natalie Rushman, as she was introduced, joined the team on a bright Monday morning. You first heard about her during the daily briefing. Your department head mentioned that Natalie was hired to assist with data analysis, given the increasing workload from "The Initiative."

"I want you to show her the ropes." Your boss said, his tone implying it was not a request. "She has a similar background to you, and I think you two will work well together." You nodded, trying to hide the concern you felt about being responsible for training someone so soon after starting yourself. You hadn't fully mastered your own tasks yet, and now you were supposed to mentor someone else? But you forced a smile and agreed, hoping that Natalie would be as easygoing as she seemed in her brief introduction.

It wasn't until later in the morning that you finally met her. You were in the office kitchen, struggling with the intricate espresso machine that seemed designed to torment anyone who wasn't a seasoned barista. You had managed to spill coffee grounds everywhere when you heard someone clear their throat behind you.

You turned around and saw Natalie standing there, a slight smile on her lips. Her red hair was tied back in a neat ponytail, and she wore a white blouse and tailored black pants that made her look effortlessly professional. "Need some help?" Natalie asked, her voice warm and slightly amused. You laughed, embarrassed to be caught in the middle of your coffee disaster. "I think this machine was designed by someone who hates caffeine addicts."

Natalie stepped forward, gently nudging you aside. "Mind if I give it a try? I've had my fair share of battles with these things."

"Be my guest." you replied gratefully, stepping back. Natalie moved with practiced ease, quickly coaxing the machine into cooperation and brewing two perfect cups of espresso. She handed you one, which you accepted with a wide grin. "You're a lifesaver." you said, taking a sip. The coffee was perfectm. Rich, smooth, and exactly what you needed to get through the rest of the day. "I'm Y/n, by the way. I'm supposed to show you around today."

"Natalie." she replied, her smile deepening. "And I appreciate the help. The first days are always a bit overwhelming."

"Don't I know it.." you said, rolling your eyes playfully. "I'm still trying to figure out where half the supplies are kept around here." Natalie laughed, a genuine but slightly guarded sound, as if she was still feeling out her new environment. "I'm sure we'll figure it out together. So, what exactly are we working on?" You began explaining the project to her, giving her an overview of "The Initiative" and what your roles would be. As you spoke, you noticed that Natalie was a good listener, nodding at the right moments and asking insightful questions. It was clear she knew what she was talking about, and you felt a little more at ease, knowing you weren't dealing with a complete novice.

"So," Natalie said as you walked back to the office with your coffees in hand, "what made you decide to work here?" You shrugged, trying to put your thoughts into words. "I guess I wanted to be part of something bigger, you know? Kinetica is doing some amazing things..or at least that's what they tell us. It's nice to think that the work we're doing here might actually make a difference."

Natalie nodded thoughtfully, as if considering her own reasons for being here. "I can understand that. It's nice to feel like what you're doing matters." You arrived at your desk, which was temporarily doubling as Natalie's workspace until hers was ready. You showed her how to log into the system, where to find the files she needed, and how to navigate the company's complex database. As you worked together, you noticed how quickly Natalie picked everything up. She seemed almost too proficient, as if she knew the system better than someone on their first day should. But you brushed the thought aside, some people were just quick learners, you thought.

The day passed smoothly, with the two of you working side by side and getting to know each other in small increments between tasks. Natalie was friendly but reserved, sharing just enough about herself to seem open without giving too much away. You found that you liked your new colleague, appreciating her calm demeanor and quick mind.

By the end of the day, you had made significant progress on your tasks, and you were starting to feel a sense of camaraderie with Natalie. As you prepared to leave, you turned to her with a smile. “Thanks for today, Natalie. You made my job a lot easier.” Natalie returned the smile, her green eyes sparkling in the fading daylight. “The feeling is mutual. I think we’re going to make a great team.” You nodded, feeling a warmth in your chest that you hadn’t expected. Maybe this new job wouldn’t be so overwhelming after all..

In the weeks that followed, the bond between you and Natalie deepened, evolving from a close friendship into something more intense, something charged. There was a tension between you that neither of you could ignore, a pull that grew stronger with every shared glance, every lingering touch. You had danced around your feelings for each other for a while, but the unspoken words were becoming harder to bear.

One evening, after another long day at the office, you found yourselves alone in the break room once again. The city lights cast a soft glow through the windows, the hum of the air conditioning the only sound breaking the silence. You sat closer than usual, your shoulders touching as you picked at the remnants of a shared dinner. Your heart raced, the proximity making it difficult to focus on anything other than the warmth of Natalie’s body next to yours.

“Natalie..” you began hesitantly, “I need to tell you something.” Natalie looked up from her food, her green eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that took your breath away. “What is it?”

You took a deep breath, gathering your courage. “I..I’ve been trying to understand these feelings I have for you.. I never thought I’d feel this way about someone I work with, but I can’t keep pretending it’s not there. I care about you, Natalie. More than just as a friend.” The words hung heavy in the air between you, filled with the weight of their honesty. You watched Natalie closely, searching her face for any sign of rejection or discomfort. But what you saw instead was a softening in her expression, a warmth that she hadn’t fully shown before.

“Y/n,” Natalie said softly, reaching out to take your hand, “I feel the same way. I’ve tried to keep my distance, to stay professional, but..I can’t help it. I love you.” Your heart leaped at her confession, your pulse quickening as the truth settled between you. “You.. you love me?”

Natalie nodded, her thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. “Yes, I do. And I’ve been so scared of what that means, but I can’t deny it any longer. I love you, Y/n.” The relief that washed over you was almost overwhelming, and without thinking, you leaned in and pressed your lips to Natalie’s in a kiss that was soft, tentative, and filled with all the emotions you had both been holding back.

Natalie responded immediately, her hand coming up to cup your cheek as she deepened the kiss, letting all her unspoken feelings flow into it. It was a moment of pure connection, where nothing else existed but the two of you and the love you shared. When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to process what had just happened.

“I can’t believe this is real..” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. “It is,” Natalie murmured, her eyes shining with affection. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

For a moment, everything felt perfect. But as the warmth of the moment began to fade, a sharp pang of guilt pierced Natasha’s heart. She had just confessed her love to you, but the truth was far more complicated than she could admit. She wasn’t just Natalie Rushman, a data analyst who had fallen for her colleague..she was Natasha Romanoff, a spy sent to gather information from the woman she had just professed her love to.

As you sat there, your hand still in hers, Natasha knew she was at a crossroads. She had sworn to get the information she needed, to complete the mission no matter what. But now, with the thought of betraying you, her stomach twisted with guilt. “Y/n,” Natasha began, her voice heavy with what she was about to say, “I want us to be completely honest with each other. Totally honest. I need to know..is there anything about our project, about Kinetica, that seems strange to you? Anything that doesn’t add up?”

You frowned slightly, confused by the sudden change in topic. “What do you mean?” Natasha hesitated, hating herself for what she had to do, but knowing she had no choice. “I’ve just..noticed a few things that don’t quite fit. Some files that are restricted, some data that doesn’t quite match up. I thought maybe you’d noticed it too.” Your brow furrowed as you thought back over the past few months. “Well, there have been a few things that seemed odd, but I just figured it was part of working at such a high-level company. Why do you ask?”

Natasha swallowed hard, forcing herself to keep up the pretense. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I want to make sure we’re not missing anything important.” You nodded slowly, still puzzled but trusting Natalie’s concern. “I’ll keep an eye out, and if I notice anything, I’ll let you know. But..can we not talk about work right now? I just want to enjoy this moment with you.”

Natasha’s heart clenched at your words, the guilt threatening to overwhelm her. She had just used your moment of vulnerability to fish for information, and the realization made her feel sick. But she forced herself to push the guilt aside, to focus on the mission, even as it tore her apart inside. “Of course.” Natasha said softly, pulling you closer and kissing you again, trying to lose herself in the warmth and love she felt for you.

Weeks passed, and the bond between you and Natalie grew even deeper. Your relationship had blossomed into something beautiful, a refuge in the midst of the high-pressure jobs at Kinetica Industries. You spent as much time together as possible..dinners, quiet nights with movies, and long walks through the city. For you, it felt like you had finally found someone who understood you, someone you could trust completely. But for Natasha, the lines between her mission and her feelings for you were becoming increasingly blurred.

The guilt Natasha felt was a constant companion, gnawing at her whenever she saw your trusting smile or felt the warmth of your hand in hers. Natasha knew she was deceiving you, but every time she considered telling you the truth, the weight of her duty as an agent held her back. She had a job to do, and despite her feelings, she couldn’t abandon it.

One evening, after a particularly long day at the office, you invited Natasha to your place. You were behind on some work and needed to finish a report for the next day, but you didn’t want to miss out on spending time with Natalie. Natasha agreed, glad for any excuse to spend more time with you.

Your apartment was cozy and inviting, filled with the little details Natasha had come to love. Bookshelves overflowing with novels, a small collection of plants by the window, and a few framed photos of you with your family. You settled together on the couch, you with your laptop and Natasha with a book she had picked from your shelf. “I’m sorry I have to work tonight..” you said, giving Natasha an apologetic smile. “I just need to finish this report, and then I’m all yours.”

“Don’t worry.” Natasha replied with a smile of her own. “I’m just happy to be here with you. Take your time.” As you focused on your work, Natasha found herself watching you more than reading the book in her hands. The way your brow furrowed slightly when you were deep in thought, the absent-minded way you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. All of it made Natasha’s heart ache with affection and guilt. But as much as she wanted to lose herself in these feelings, Natasha couldn’t forget why she was there. This was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up. Your work might hold the key to the information S.H.I.E.L.D. needed, and Natasha had to take advantage of it, no matter how much it tore her up inside.

After about an hour, you stood up and stretched, yawning. “I need to make some tea. Want anything?”

Natasha nodded her head, giving you a reassuring smile. “This would be grate.” As you disappeared into the kitchen, Natasha’s heart pounded in her chest. This was her chance. She had to act quickly. She set the book aside and moved quietly to your laptop. The screen was still on, showing the report you were working on, but Natasha’s focus was on the folders and files scattered across the desktop. She opened one labeled “Project Data” her hands trembling slightly as she navigated through the documents.

Natasha scanned the files, her sharp eyes searching for anything that stood out or seemed significant. Most of the documents were routine. Xatasets, project reports, emails. But then she found something: a file titled “Confidential Research Notes.”

Her heart raced as she opened it and found a series of notes detailing experiments and datasets that she hadn’t seen before. It was more detailed than anything you had shown her at work, and as Natasha read through it, she realized it contained the kind of information S.H.I.E.L.D. had been looking for..details about Kinetica’s involvement in potentially illegal research, experiments that crossed ethical boundaries.

She heard the clink of a teacup in the kitchen, and panic surged through her. Quickly, Natasha copied the file onto a USB stick she had hidden in her bag. She had just closed the file when you returned, carrying twocups of tea. “Here you go.” you said with a smile, handing one of the cups to Natasha. “Thanks.” Natasha replied, taking the cup with slightly trembling hands and praying that you hadn’t noticed anything unusual.

You settled back down on the couch, taking a sip of your tea and letting out a contented sigh. “The report is almost done. After that, we can watch the movie you mentioned.” Natasha forced a smile, trying to push down the gnawing guilt and the tight knot in her stomach. “That sounds great.”

As you returned to your work, Natasha tried to relax, but the weight of what she had just done loomed over her. She had gathered the information she needed, but at the cost of betraying your trust. For the rest of the evening, Natasha was distant, her mind racing with thoughts of what would happen next.

You noticed the change in her demeanor and reached out to touch her arm, concern evident in your eyes. “Hey, is everything okay?” Natasha looked into your eyes, feeling her heart ache. “Yeah, I’m just..tired, I guess. It’s been a long day.”

You smiled gently and squeezed her arm. “I get it. We’ve both been working so hard lately. Let’s just relax tonight, okay? No more work, just us.” Natasha nodded, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Just us.” she repeated, her voice hollow. As you both snuggled up on the couch to watch the movie, Natasha tried to focus on the moment, to lose herself in the warmth of your presence. But no matter how hard she tried, the guilt and the knowledge of what she had done weighed heavily on her.

The following days were filled with an unbearable tension for Natasha. She knew she had to pass the information to S.H.I.E.L.D., but she dreaded what would happen when the truth came out. The time she spent with you, the smiles, the laughter, all felt tainted by the lie she was living. Finally, the day came when Natasha couldn’t put it off any longer. She knew she had to deliver the USB drive to S.H.I.E.L.D. The mission needed to be completed, but the thought of what that would mean for your relationship was almost too much to bear.

That evening, as you sat together at your kitchen table, your laptop open in front of you as you worked on another report, Natasha made her decision. She had to do this, even though it meant risking everything with you. But before she could leave, something happened that changed everything.

You called Natasha over, a confused look on your face. “Nat, can you look at something for me? This report doesn’t make sense.” Natasha’s heart skipped a beat, but she kept her expression neutral. “Sure, what’s going on?” she asked, walking over to the table.

You pointed at the screen, your brow furrowed in confusion. “I just got this email from my boss, and he attached this report. It’s about a security breach at Kinetica. They’re trying to figure out who accessed some confidential files..” Natasha’s blood ran cold, but she kept her voice steady. “A security breach? What files are they talking about?”

You scrolled through the report, your frown deepening. “It doesn’t say exactly, but it has something to do with our project. They’ve narrowed down the list of suspects, but I don’t recognize most of the names..except for one.”

You paused, your eyes widening as you focused on a name in the list: Natasha Romanoff.

“Natasha Romanoff?” you whispered, confusion and disbelief clear in your voice. You looked up at Natasha, searching her face for answers. “Wait, is that you? Is this some kind of mistake?”

Natasha felt the walls closing in on her. There was no more hiding, no more pretending. The truth was out, and there was no going back. “Y/n,” she began, her voice trembling, “I need you to listen to me.” You took a step back, fear and suspicion creeping into your eyes. “What do you mean?” you asked, your voice shaking.

Natasha’s heart broke at the sight of the fear in your eyes. “I’m still the same person, Y/n. I’m still me. But..I haven’t been honest with you.” Your hands shook as you hugged yourself, desperately trying to understand what was happening. “Who are you? Have you been lying to me this whole time?”

Tears welled up in Natasha’s eyes as she took a hesitant step toward you, but you flinched and stepped back. “Please, let me explain..” Natasha pleaded, her voice breaking. “My real name is Natasha Romanoff. I’m an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I was sent here to gather information on Kinetica. But everything else..everything between us..it was real. My feelings for you, Y/n, are real.”

Your eyes darted around the room as if searching for something familiar, something to hold onto. But everything felt wrong. The woman you loved, the woman you trusted, was a stranger. “You used me?” you asked, your voice trembling with anger and fear. “You used me the whole time?”

“No!” Natasha said quickly, desperation creeping into her voice. “It started as a mission, yes, but I never meant to fall in love with you. I never wanted to hurt you. Please, Y/n, you have to believe me.” You shook your head, backing away until you hit the wall. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t even know who you are. Natasha Romanoff, S.H.I.E.L.D.… it sounds like something out of a Movie..”

Natasha’s heart shattered as she watched you crumble before her. She took a tentative step closer, her hands shaking. “I’m still the person you fell in love with, Y/n. I’m still the person who loves you more than anything. Please, let me explain everything.” You stared at Natasha, your heart breaking all over again. “You should have told me the truth from the beginning! But you didn’t. You lied to me, and now..now I don’t even know who you are..”

Natasha took another step forward, reaching out tentatively. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I know I’ve hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. But I’m begging you, please give me a chance to make it right.” You looked down at Natasha’s outstretched hand, but the fear and betrayal in your heart were too overwhelming. You couldn’t bring yourself to take it. “I can’t..” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I can’t do this. I need you to leave.”

Natasha’s heart broke at your words, but she knew she had no right to ask for forgiveness, not now. “Y/n, I-”

“Just go!” you cried, your voice filled with agony. “Please, just go. I can’t look at you right now.” Natasha’s hands fell to her sides, her shoulders slumping as the weight of what she had done crashed down on her. She had lost you, and there was nothing she could do to fix it. But as much as it hurt, she knew she had to respect your wishes.

“I’m so sorry..” Natasha whispered, tears streaming down her face. “I love you, Y/n. I’ll always love you.” Without another word, Natasha turned and left your apartment, the door closing behind her with a finality that echoed through the empty space. You stood there, frozen, your heart shattered into a thousand pieces as the truth of Natasha’s betrayal washed over you. The apartment that once felt like a safe haven now felt cold and empty, the warmth of Natasha’s presence gone, replaced by a suffocating sense of loss. You slid down the wall, pulling your knees to your chest as your body shook with sobs. The woman you loved, the woman you trusted, was a lie, and you didn’t know if you could ever trust anyone again.

Hours passed, and eventually, your tears dried up, leaving you with a hollow feeling inside. But despite the pain, you couldn’t ignore the truth that Natasha had revealed. Kinetica was involved in something dangerous, something that needed to be stopped. And despite everything, you knew you couldn’t just walk away.

Slowly, you got to your feet, your resolve hardening. You would do what needed to be done, not for Natasha, but because it was the right thing to do. You walked over to your laptop and opened the files you had been working on. With a heavy heart, you gathered everything you knew about Kinetica’s activities, your hands shaking as you worked. The information you collected could help bring the company down, but it came at the cost of everything you believed in, everything you felt.

When you finished, you copied the files onto a USB stick and set it on the table. You stared at it for a long time, your thoughts filled with memories of the woman you thought you knew, the woman you loved. Finally, you took a deep breath and reached for your phone. You hesitated for a moment before dialing the number Natasha had given you, the one you were supposed to use only in an emergency.

Natasha answered on the first ring, her voice thick with emotion. “Y/n?”

“I have the information you need.” you said, your voice firm despite the storm of emotions raging inside you. “It’s on a USB stick. I’ll leave it at the café near my apartment tomorrow morning. You can pick it up there.”

“Y/n, please, can we talk-” Natasha began, but you cut her off.

“There’s nothing more to say.” you said quietly. "That's it, Natasha. After this, we're done. Don't contact me again."

A long silence followed on the other end of the line, and you could hear the pain in Natasha's voice when she finally spoke. "Thank you. I'm so sorry. For everything."

You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to keep your emotions under control. "Goodbye, Natasha."

The mission was over. Kinetica Industries had been exposed, its leaders arrested, and the illegal activities shut down. Natasha had completed her assignment, but the victory felt hollow. As the dust settled, she could only think about you, how she had lost you and how desperate she was to make things right.

Days turned into weeks, and the absence of you in Natasha's life became unbearable. The empty silence in her apartment echoed the emptiness in her heart. She replayed the last conversation she had with you over and over in her mind, haunted by the pain in your voice, the cold finality of your words. Natasha knew she had no right to ask for forgiveness, but she couldn't live with the thought that you hated her, that the love you had shared was now just a memory tainted by lies. After much deliberation, Natasha decided she had to try one last time to explain herself and apologize in person. She knew it was a long shot..you had made it clear you didn't want to see her again but Natasha couldn't leave things the way they were. She had to try.

One evening, just as the sun was setting, Natasha made her way to your apartment. The familiar building loomed before her, but this time it felt different..colder, more intimidating. She hesitated at the entrance, her heart pounding in her chest. What if you refused to listen? What if you called the police before she even had a chance to say anything? But she knew she couldn't turn back now. She took a deep breath, entered the building, and walked to your door. She stood there for a long moment, gathering her thoughts before she finally raised her hand and knocked softly.

There was a long pause, and Natasha's heart sank as she imagined you ignoring her, refusing to even open the door. But then she heard footsteps approaching, and the door opened a crack, revealing your wary eyes. Your expression shifted from surprise to anger as soon as you saw Natasha. Your hand tightened around the doorknob, and you narrowed your eyes. "What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice cold and hard.

"Y/n, please, I just want to talk." Natasha said quickly, raising her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I know I don't deserve it, but I need to explain-" You cut her off, your voice sharp with anger. "Explain? There's nothing left to explain, Natasha. You lied to me, used me, and now you have the nerve to show up at my door?"

"Please.." Natasha pleaded, her voice breaking. "Give me five minutes." Your eyes flashed with a mix of anger, pain, and something else that Natasha couldn't quite place. You hesitated, your hand still gripping the doorknob as if you were weighing whether to slam the door in her face. "If you don't leave right now." you said, your voice trembling with barely suppressed emotion, "I'll call the police."

Natasha felt her heart sink, but she didn't move. She knew you were serious, but she also knew that if she walked away now, she would never have another chance to make things right. "Do it." Natasha said quietly, "Call them if you want. But please, hear me out first. I need to show you how sorry I am. I know I can't undo what I've done, but I can't live with myself if I don't at least try to apologize."

You stared at Natasha, your hand shaking as you gripped the doorknob. The pain in your eyes was unmistakable, and it broke Natasha's heart to see how much she had hurt you. For a long moment, neither of you spoke, the tension between you thick and suffocating. Finally, you let out a shaky breath and loosened your grip on the doorknob. "You have five minutes," you said, "But if you lie to me again, I swear I'll call the police."

Natasha nodded, relief washing over her even though she knew this was only a small victory. "Thank you." she whispered, stepping back as you opened the door just enough to let her in. You led Natasha into the living room, a space that had once felt warm and inviting but now felt cold and distant. You gestured for Natasha to sit on the sofa, but you remained standing, arms crossed over your chest as you waited for her to speak.

"Okay," Natasha began, her voice trembling, "I know I've hurt you in a way I can never fully apologize for. I deceived you and betrayed your trust. But I need you to know that every moment I spent with you, every touch, every word I said to you, was real. My feelings for you are real." Your eyes flashed with anger, and you shook your head. "How am I supposed to believe that? You're a trained spy. Lying is part of your job."

"I know.." Natasha said, her voice breaking slightly. "And that's why I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve it. But I couldn't leave things the way they were. I couldn't let you believe that everything between us was just part of the mission. It wasn't. You became the most important person in my life, and I was so scared of losing you."

"Then why didn't you tell me the truth?" you asked, your voice trembling with pent-up emotion. "Why did you wait until I had to find out this way?" Natasha swallowed hard, tears welling up in her eyes. "Because I was a coward. I didn't want to lose you, and I thought that if I could just finish the mission, maybe..just maybe we could have a life together afterward. But I was wrong. I should have been honest with you from the start."

You shook your head, tears filling your eyes as well. "You should have. But you didn't. And now I don't know if I can ever trust you again." A tear rolled down Natasha's cheek, but she made no move to wipe it away. "I understand." she said softly. "I know I've broken your trust, and I have to live with that. I just wanted you to know that I love you, Y/n. I will always love you. And if you never want to see me again, I'll respect that. But please don't think that I didn't care about you, because I do."

You looked away, blinking back tears. "You should go, Natasha. There's nothing more to say." Natasha nodded, her heart breaking all over again. "I'm sorry." she whispered, her voice barely audible. "For everything."

Without another word, Natasha turned and walked to the door, her steps heavy with the weight of the finality of the situation. She paused in the doorway, casting one last look at you, hoping to find something..anything that might suggest there was still a chance for you both. But your expression remained cold and distant, your eyes avoiding hers. With a heavy heart, Natasha opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. The door clicked shut behind her with a soft thud that echoed in the silence that followed. Natasha stood there for a moment, letting the reality of what had just happened sink in. She had tried, but it was over. You were right. There was nothing more to say.

Unknown to you, the case of Kinetica’s downfall was far from over. The company’s leaders were desperately trying to cover their tracks, attempting to salvage what they could. But amid the chaos, they discovered something alarming: You, one of their employees, had been the one to pass on the damning information that had led to their downfall. And now they wanted revenge.

You were alone in your apartment one evening, your thoughts drifting as you tried to focus on the book you were reading. The quiet was soothing, a respite from the whirlwind of emotions you had been grappling with. But that peace was abruptly shattered by a sudden, insistent knocking at your door. Frowning, you set the book aside and walked to the door, peering through the peephole. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw two men standing outside, men you didn’t recognize, but something about their presence immediately set off alarm bells in your head.

“Who is it?” you called out, trying to keep your voice steady despite the unease rising within you. “Delivery.” one of the men said, but there was no package in sight, and his tone was too cold, too rehearsed.

Your instincts kicked in, and you stepped away from the door, your heart racing. These weren’t delivery men..they were here for something else, something far more sinister. Panic gripped you as you realized that Kinetica must have found out what you had done. Just as you were about to reach for your phone, the door burst open with a loud crash, the two men forcing their way in. You screamed and stumbled back, your thoughts racing with fear and desperation. But before they could reach you, another figure appeared in the doorway, moving with deadly precision. Natasha.

She had been keeping an eye on your apartment since your last conversation, knowing that Kinetica might try something. When she saw the men approaching your building, she knew immediately what their target was and she wasn’t going to let them harm you. “Get away from her.” Natasha snarled, her voice cold and dangerous.

The men turned to face Natasha, but they barely had time to react before she was on them. In a blur of motion, she disarmed the first man, sending his weapon skittering across the floor. The second man lunged at her, but she easily dodged and delivered a powerful kick to his stomach, sending him crashing into the wall. You watched in stunned silence as Natasha took down the men with brutal efficiency, her movements fluid and controlled. The fight was over in seconds, the two men lying unconscious on the floor as Natasha stood over them, breathing heavily.

For a moment, the apartment was eerily silent, the only sound the ragged breaths of the two women. Your heart pounded in your chest, your mind struggling to process what had just happened. Natasha turned to you, her expression a mixture of concern and relief. “Are you okay?” she asked, her voice softer now, laced with the fear she had tried to suppress.

You nodded slowly, your eyes wide as you stared at Natasha. “I..I think so..” you stammered, still trying to grasp everything. “What..what are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t leave you unprotected.” Natasha said, stepping closer, her eyes full of guilt and love. “I knew Kinetica might come after you. I couldn’t let that happen.” Your gaze flickered to the unconscious men on the floor, then back to Natasha. “You..you saved me.”

Natasha nodded, her heart aching at the vulnerability in your voice. “I will always protect you. No matter what’s happened between us, I’ll always be here for you.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at Natasha, the woman who had lied to you, who had betrayed you, but who had also just saved your life. The fear and anger you had been holding onto began to waver, replaced by a deep, conflicting emotion you couldn’t fully understand. “Why?” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you.” Natasha said, her voice heavy with emotion. “I know I’ve hurt you, and I know you may never forgive me, but I had to make sure you were safe. You mean everything to me, Y/n.”

Your heart broke at the sincerity in Natasha’s voice. Despite everything, despite the lies and betrayal, Natasha’s love for you was real. And in that moment, you realized that your own feelings were just as complicated. You were angry, you were hurt, but you still loved her..more than you wanted to admit.

The two of you stood in silence, the weight of your emotions heavy in the air. Your mind raced with conflicting thoughts, torn between the betrayal you felt and the undeniable connection that still existed between you. Finally, you took a shaky breath. “I don’t know if I can forgive you, Natasha..” you said quietly. “But I can’t ignore what you just did for me. You saved my life. And..and I still care about you. I don’t know what that means, but I need time to figure it out.”

Natasha nodded, tears glistening in her eyes as she looked at you. “Take all the time you need.” she whispered. “I’ll be here, no matter what you decide.” You nodded hesitantly, the storm of emotions inside you beginning to calm. “Thank you.” you said softly, your voice barely audible.

Natasha stepped back, giving you the space you needed. “I’ll take care of this.” she said, gesturing to the unconscious men on the floor. “And then I’ll go, if that’s what you want.” You looked at Natasha, your heart heavy with everything that had happened between you. “I don’t know what I want..” you admitted, your voice trembling. “But I think..I think I need to be alone right now.”

Natasha nodded, her eyes reflecting the understanding she felt, even though the pain was clear. “I understand.” she said quietly. “Just know that if you ever need anything, anything at all, I’m here.”

You didn’t respond, but the look in your eyes said enough. You stood there, watching as Natasha efficiently secured the two men, ensuring they wouldn’t pose any further threat. She worked in silence, the weight of the situation pressing down on both of you. When Natasha was finished, she stood by the door, hesitating for a moment as if searching for the right words, but then deciding against saying anything more. With one last, sorrowful glance in your direction, she turned and left your apartment, the door closing softly behind her.

You stood frozen in place, your mind reeling from everything that had just happened. The apartment, which had been filled with tension and violence just moments ago, now felt eerily quiet. Slowly, you sank onto the couch, your body trembling as the reality of the situation settled over you.

You were filled with so many conflicting emotions that it was hard to sort through them all. Anger, fear, relief, affection..they all swirled within you, and you didn’t know how to make sense of them. You had asked Natasha to leave because you weren’t sure of anything anymore. And though it felt like the right thing to do, now that she was gone, you felt a cold emptiness spreading through your chest. A part of you wanted to call her back, wanted her to stay so you could work through these chaotic feelings together. But another part of you knew that you needed time to be alone, to sort through everything that had happened between the two of you.

The night passed in a blur of thoughts and emotions, with sleep coming only in brief, restless intervals. When morning finally came, you felt just as exhausted as you had the night before. But with the new day came a certain clarity. You knew you couldn’t stay in this limbo forever. Natasha had told you that she would always be there for you, and you believed her. But the question was whether you could let her back into your life, whether you could ever trust her again.

As the day dragged on, you tried to focus on mundane tasks, but thoughts of Natasha kept intruding. Finally, after hours of agonizing, you decided you needed more information to figure out a path forward. If there was any chance of peace or understanding between you, you needed to know the whole truth. The next day, you called Natasha. She answered immediately, and you could hear the mix of hope and concern in her voice. “Y/n?”

“I want to know everything.” you said, your voice firm even as your heart raced. “I can’t move on without understanding everything. No more secrets, no more lies. If there’s any chance for us to find peace, you need to show me everything.”

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line before Natasha spoke, her voice filled with relief and caution. “I understand. I’ll take you to S.H.I.E.L.D. You’ll have access to everything, my reports, the mission files. Whatever you need to know.”

You nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “Okay. When can we go?”

“Right now.” Natasha said without hesitation. “I’ll come pick you up.”

True to her word, Natasha arrived at your apartment shortly after. The drive to the S.H.I.E.L.D. building was silent, the tension between you both palpable. Natasha stole worried glances at you from time to time, but you kept your gaze fixed out the window, lost in your thoughts. When you arrived at the unassuming building that housed S.H.I.E.L.D.’s operations, Natasha guided you through a series of security checks, her presence and clearance making the process smooth. You followed her, your heart pounding with a mix of fear and curiosity. This was a world you never imagined you would be a part of.

Finally, you arrived in a large conference room. Natasha gestured for you to take a seat at the table while she went to a console on the wall and entered a series of commands. The large screen in the room flickered to life, displaying a series of files and documents. “This is everything.” Natasha said quietly, turning to face you. “My mission files, the reports I sent, the details of Kinetica’s operations. You have full access.”

You stared at the screen, your heart racing. “Why are you doing this? Why are you showing me all of this?”

“Because I owe you the truth.” Natasha replied, her voice steady but laced with emotion. “And because I want you to know that I’m not hiding anything from you anymore. I know I broke your trust, but I want to do whatever it takes to rebuild it. Even if that means showing you everything.”

The next few hours were spent going through everything, the initial mission briefing, how Natasha was assigned to get close to you to gather information on Kinetica, and how she struggled with her growing feelings for you. She explained how she tried to keep you out of harm's way even as she fulfilled her mission, and how every moment you shared, despite the circumstances, had been genuine.

You listened intently, absorbing every word, every detail. There were moments when your anger flared up again, moments when you wanted to shout at Natasha for the betrayal, for the pain she had caused. But there were also moments of understanding, moments when you saw the inner conflict Natasha had gone through, torn between her duty and her growing love for you.

When Natasha finished, she looked at you, her heart pounding in her chest. “I know this doesn’t undo the lies, but I wanted you to see that I truly cared about you. I never wanted to hurt you, Y/n.” You remained silent for a long time, processing everything you had learned. You felt raw, exposed, but also strangely relieved. This was what you had needed. the full truth, with nothing held back.

Finally, you looked at Natasha, your expression unreadable. “You were honest with me today, Natasha, and I can feel that. For the first time, I feel like I’m really seeing you..with all your strengths and flaws, with all your mistakes.” Natasha nodded, her voice soft as she responded, “That’s all I wanted. To be honest with you, even if it costs me everything.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples as you tried to organize your thoughts. “I don’t know where we go from here, Natasha. I don’t know if I can ever fully trust you again. But..I see that you’re trying. And that means something.” Natasha felt a small spark of hope ignite in her chest, but she didn’t dare let it grow too large. “Thank you, Y/n. That’s more than I deserve.”

You looked at Natasha, your eyes filled with a mix of sadness and something that resembled hope. "Maybe it’s a start. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but at least now I know the truth. And that’s more than I had before.”

Natasha nodded, her heart heavy, but she was grateful. “Whatever happens, I’m here. If you need space, I’ll give you that. If you want to talk, I’ll listen. I won’t go away.” You managed a small, tired smile. “I guess we’ll just have to see where this takes us.”

You both left the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters together, the tension between you eased but the future still uncertain. As you stepped out into the bright afternoon sun, Natasha glanced at you, and for the first time in weeks, she felt a cautious spark of hope. You caught her glance and sighed. “It’s going to take time, Natasha. I don’t know if things can ever be the way they were, but.. we can find something new. Something honest.”

Natasha nodded, her heart swelling with emotion. “That’s what I’d like.” As you walked side by side, the past still loomed over you, but for the first time, there was a path forward..a path that might lead to healing, to forgiveness, and maybe even to a future where you could rebuild what had been broken. The road ahead would be difficult, full of challenges and doubts, but you had taken the first step together. And for now, that was enough.

[tinkerleaf]

Tape 001 - OSAMU DAZAI

a/n: I'm excited to put this out! I've never explored this concept before so I hope it comes off as good as it does in my head. This will be the first in the series. w/c: 1.4k m.lists: face files, main m.list warnings: cursing, small depiction of violence, interrogation genre: angst? but not like super sad or anything

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

-Start of Recording

The room is pitch black before a blinding light flashes the respondent. He can’t see very well, but he doesn’t need to. He is placed in a metal chair that locks him in by his wrists and ankles. He struggles but quickly realizes he can’t move.

A cough is heard before the interviewer speaks, “Mr. Osamu Dazai, is that correct?”

“Who are you?” he questions, his eyes slowly adjusting to the brightness of the light. “Where am I?”

“My apologies. I should have introduced myself. My name is Dr. Arthur Cartwright of the TimeSpace Preservation Association. The reason you are here with me in this hypothetical space is because you are a close contact to █████ ████████, an anomaly of this timeline.”

Dazai’s lips parted at the mention of her name. “What makes you think I’d tell you anything? And that’s if I knew anything.”

Dr. Cartwright presses a button on his computer, and suddenly the light in Dazai’s face gradually changes color to a deep blue. The pupils of his eyes suddenly become dilated.

“Trying to set the mood or something?”

“Sir, I want you to tell me what happened to your mother.”

Without even realizing, Dazai responds. “She died when I was born.” His mouth is agape in shock, and he struggles once more against the straps around him. “What the hell is going on?!”

The doctor jots down a few details on his clipboard, muttering to himself. “It seems that the validity scanner works correctly.” He turns back to his current captive, “Forgive me, that was simply a test.” Dazai was so confused that he couldn’t even fathom a response. His breaths become forced. “This device will allow us to avoid any inaccuracies in your answers and extract the data we need directly from your brain without any invasive procedures.”

“As if this isn’t intrusive.”

“I understand your discomfort sir, but I’ll have you know that you will not remember any of this interaction once you leave. You are located in a space in between timelines that serves no purpose. In simpler terms, your life is on ‘pause' until your return.”

To Dazai, this feels like an odd dream. He feels almost hazy, as if he’d had a drink. However, his mind has lingered around the mention of her name from the beginning. “What are you gonna do to her?”

“We have no intentions of harming her. We just have some questions for you, and we will be on our way.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little unfair not to answer a few questions of mine first?”

The doctor pauses but concedes. “I suppose. Go ahead.”

“You mentioned earlier that she was an…’anomaly’. What did you mean by that?”

“By standards of the TPA, she is filed as such because she remains in your timeline without any major damages to its structure.”

“So…”

“So she isn’t supposed to be there. Her timeline is number…” He flips through a few of his documents. “3142025. You are from 7925076. I’m sure you can see the issue here.”

“Does it really matter-”

“Of course it matters. When people are moved around, it destabilizes reality until it shatters. However, it hasn’t, and I’m trying to figure out why.”

Dazai stares at the stranger in front of him, his finger tapping against the cool metal. He tries to look around, but there’s nothing to look at. His ability is useless in this situation. “Then let’s get this over with.”

“Thank you for your cooperation. I’ll start simple. Who is █████ ████████?”

“She’s a member of the Armed Detective Agency.”

Scribbling is heard from the other side of the desk, “Who is she to you?”

“She’s my best friend.” His expression is blank, letting the machine mentally yank his thoughts out. “She’s also my partner at the agency.”

“How did you meet her?”

“When I was in the Port Mafia, my boss introduced me to her. He was acquainted with her father.”

The doctor pauses. “Did you ever come across her father?”

Dazai shrugs. “Here and there. Kanan wasn’t exactly important to me or my job, so we never had much interaction outside of work.”

“What was his role?”

“He was one of the five executives.”

“From my understanding, he passed away, correct?” Dazai nods.

“How?”

“He was assassinated by enemies of the of the mafia.”

His eyes narrow. “Interesting…I’ll go back to █████ ████████. What was her role in the mafia?”

“She either assisted with interrogations or trained for one of the command units, typically with Chuuya.” A look of annoyance flashes across his face.

“Chuuya Nakahara?” Dazai nods. “Why him?”

“Their abilities had similar components. While Chuuya could manipulate gravity, she was able to move things telekinetically. It made sense to put them together at the time.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Pissed.” Doctor Cartwright wonders if he has stopped breathing. He is completely still.

“Do you need a break?”

“No.” His gaze hasn’t moved from the surface of the desk since the interview began.

“Just let me know if you do.” He clears his throat. “Why would that bother you the way it did?”

He bites his lip, but it doesn't stop him from answering the question. “I didn’t want to have to share my only friend-dammit!” He was trying to fight the device.

The doctor flips through his notes. “Okay, we’re getting off topic.” He writes some things down. “Tell me more about her ability. You mentioned telekinetics.”

“Right. She’s great at picking locks with it. I’ve seen her crush someone’s windpipe when we were in a bind once, but she doesn’t really use it for that anymore…” He trails off.

“What does she usually use it for?”

“Typically, scanning for information. She’d explained it before; it’s like moving someone’s brain around to get information. Sound familiar?” His sarcastic tone doesn't faze the doctor.

“Surprisingly, yes.” More scribbles.

“It’s one of the main reasons she became an asset to the mafia, aside from her more combatative attributes.”

“Why did she leave the Port Mafia?”

“Kanan’s death really shook her up, but I couldn’t blame her for it. I had a feeling she wouldn’t last much longer afterwards.” He took a deep breath. “When it was confirmed by the boss that she was erased from the organization, I was afraid she’d hurt herself, so I kept an eye on her for a while.”

“Like…stalking her?”

The ghost of a smile formed on his face. “Not exactly. It didn’t take me long to track her down, but when I did, I was going to let her go.”

“…Right. Was that when she obtained a job at the Armed Detective Agency?”

He nodded. “About a year or so later. I joined after her a year later.”

“Why did it take you so long?”

“My reputation as the Port Mafia’s youngest executive wasn’t exactly something I could just waltz into the agency with. I went into hiding for a little while.”

“While still watching █████?”

He nods. “Not in a weird way, though.”

“I’m sure. When was the last time you saw her?”

“At work. Her desk is next to mine.”

“I guess it makes sense for your new boss to put you two together since you share a past. What was her reaction to seeing you again? After all that time, I mean.”

“She was startled at first, but she came around.”

“Came around..?”

“She gave me a really big hug, and I felt everything from the past few years just drip off of me. The Presdient called her into the office with Kunikida, and when I saw her I-I think- ” A stray tear falls down his face. “-I just felt so…fuck!”

“Let’s take a second.” Cartwright turns the light off and Dazai’s pupils go back to normal.

Dazai closes his eyes as he heaves, his stress levels exponentially high. “Is this enough for you? Is this what you wanted?”

“Hey, we’re almost done-”

“Almost? I’m getting sick of being probed.” He pushes against the restraints.

“Dammit…” Cartwright quickly powers everything back on. He stands up, leaning both hands on the table. “The quicker we get through this, the quicker you can forget this ever happened. Do you know who exactly killed Kanan ████████?”

“I already told you it-”

“That’s not true, though. Who told you it was an enemy attacker?”

“She did?”

“Then, who told her that?”

“How the fuck would I know that!?” Dazai was growing more frustrated than he already was. “Why does that even matter if this is about her?”

Dr. Cartwright slumps back down, realizing that Dazai wasn't going to give him the answers he needed. He reaches into his pocket for a pen. He points the end of it towards his face, “Thank you for your contributions, Mr. Dazai. You’re free to go. You’ll wake up exactly where you were extracted from. It’ll be as if nothing ever happened.”

With a flash, Osamu Dazai disappeared from the room.

-End of Recording

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

[letteredlettered]

What an interesting topic. I’ve heard that a large percentage of employees cite their bosses as the reason they leave their jobs. What are some ways companies try to mitigate this?

They don't.

I can really only answer for my company, which cared about retention (of employees) a lot. Many companies do, because it costs much less to recruit/onboard/train as little as possible, and because it can be hard to get the work done without adequate staffing. I'd add that my company had one area in which staffing was a nation-wide crisis; also my company was in the public sector and was in the press a lot, which mean they cared about their image.

They still didn't do that much to ensure that people had good bosses. That has less to do with this company and more to do with the structure of business in capitalist society. This is a big reason HR is never going to be that helpful unless you've got a tiny company that, completely by luck, has mostly good folks.

A company isn't going to take a generalized point about folks leaving their job because they don't like their bosses as fact. Companies feel they are too diverse and the financial risk is too great to pour money into something if they don't have hard data, so the first step to retention is getting data. You would think exit interviews would be really informative, but those require a lot of time which equals staff which equals money. Some employers do them but mine would only do one if you asked, and then they did nothing with the info. This is because the company's mentality was "well, if you're leaving you're probably really dissatisfied and we don't want to hear about that." I know this makes no sense. But in general, not just in the business but in this society (formed by capitalism), the idea seems to be if you're dissatisfied it's your fault. Meanwhile the company is interested in data about why people stay; they figure if folks are satisfied, that's the company's fault and they want to keep doing the same so they can retain employees.

Our company had a huge employee satisfaction survey they did every year that included questions about employee opinions about the company, their colleagues, and their bosses. You get emails to remind you to take it and if you can't get time in the workday, bosses are supposed to allow time for it. Some problems with that are you still have to remember to take it; if you don't have time you have to ask a boss you might not like to get that time; some folks at my company literally had jobs that literally are life or death so it can be hard to take time to take a survey; the survey is only in English; the survey is only in the computer; the reminders are only in email. So you have to be a moderately good English speaker who regularly checks email and knows how to use a computer and gets regular access to a computer for the company to get your data about your satisfaction. As you can imagine, our most vulnerable employees often get missed.

If the survey showed that folks were really dissatisfied with a particular boss, that boss got put into a series of trainings. Training is good, but US businesses (and plenty of employees themselves) seemed to have latched onto the idea that training is the be-all, end-all of improvement. Many of us saw this in response to the discussions about EDI (equity, diversity, and inclusion) that came about in 2020; business promised to be anti-racist and had some EDI seminars to prove it, and that was all. Why is it like this? What is really needed to make bosses better bosses? And why isn't that being done?

When it comes to "why is it like this": recruiting and retaining good leaders is hard. The way someone becomes a boss in almost any organization is a) management likes them, and/or b) they were good at a job in a lower level or different department, or c) they come from the outside with a good resume and what sounds like good experience. But a lot of time, management likes people who aren't disruptive, and sometimes folks who aren't disruptive are the folks who are not thinking for themselves and not asking questions and doing everything the way they're told even when it doesn't make sense. That doesn't make a good leader. As for folks who are good at the lower level job in the hierarchy or in another department, they aren't always good at managing. It's a different skill set, but I've seen a lot of leaders and employees make this mistake. They think that that the folks who are great at the job should be promoted, and honestly that really doesn't make sense. And last but not least, folks who get hired from the outside are a complete crapshoot, because experience with leadership does not necessarily a good leader make.

As for what is needed to make bosses better bosses, imo what you would really need is someone embedded within the department who is managed by the boss and is doing the same work as the other employees, but also has the training and experience to evaluate what the boss is doing well and isn't doing well, and then also has the authority and buy-in to work with the boss so that the boss can shadow and learn the leadership skills they need. Then, if the boss can't improve, there would need to be the will within the org to fire or demote that boss, and often that will doesn't exist because recruiting bosses is so hard and the training is usually monumental.

Side note, what I'm describing is what consultants should do and normally don't. Consultants come in and ask a lot of questions and do focus groups and maybe some observations, but they are not in there doing the work understanding what it is like to live in this world, and without that I frankly find a lot of the work they do useless. That said, consultants are almost always hired to identify inefficiencies; they're not really there to make it a more satisfying job. Imo, the greatest efficiency is a satisfied worker, but it is hard to get the data to point that way, and again, companies only want data, and again, your dissatisfaction is your own fault.

Another side note, this is why unions are so great. Union stewards are folks who work for the company but can act as a union representative. This means they're embedded in the department and doing the work everyone does, but they can also at times step outside that role and carry the authority of an outside entity that does have some power to use against the employer. This is why all employees should have a union.

So, why aren't companies doing this? As you can imagine, hiring the ambassador to embed within a department, training them, paying them for their time--all of these are just too cost prohibitive to justify when they only thing you're getting out of it is employee satisfaction. It is also possible to improve employee satisfaction by paying employees more, which is in fact why I stayed in this job I hated as long as I did. I was getting paid so much that it just did not make sense to walk away without a firm plan in place. In the end, paying employees more costs less than ensuring they have a good boss.

I have lots more to say about this, but I've said a lot already, so if anyone has follow up questions, feel free to send more asks.

[earl-grey-teacake]

oh lord I can picture it. George and Alex bring Logan to the paddock for the first time and they have to go somewhere and they're not sure what to do with Logan. And James volunteers to look after him and they get SUPER nervous like "are you sure James? he can be really fussy if we leave him, he can get really upset" obviously super worried about the impression it will leave on James if Logan is upset. James is like "nah I got this".

and at first Logan starts crying but then James just talks to him. like, at first, doesn't even talk to him about anything particular, then starts explaining the Williams upgrade for the weekend, and suddenly he has an armful of happy, sleepy baby.

and when Galex return they find James reading aloud from the latest data about the tyres and Logan is settled on his chest all peaceful and sleepy and smiling. and soon baby!Logan's favourite part of the weekend (other than when Galex cuddle him and take him home) is spending time with Uncle James. Uncle James and his ridiculously nice voice.

Yes!!!

James has such great vibes. I can't listen to his interviews when I'm at work for too long because I get sleepy. They're so calming and he's always so articulate.

Baby! Logan would have the best time during the race weekend. Just completely knocked out during the races as James is running through what's happening. The downside is that he sleeps so much during the day that he's very active at night.

Thank you for the ask! I wrote a little snippet below! :)❤️

Logan had his arms wrapped tightly around George’s neck, refusing to let go despite the fact that they George had to attend to media duties.

“Come on, Logan. We have to go.” Alex tried to coax the infant to let go but if only seemed to make him more distressed. George tired to pull Logan off him but that only spurred him on to grip harder. 

“Uhhhh!” Logan kicked against George’s ribs and started to whimper.

“What’re we going to do? We can’t just bring him?” Alex gently stroked Logan head, hoping to prevent any crying from happening.

“How about I look after him?” A voice intervened. James walked over, arms outstretched to take Logan.

Alex and George exchanged a nervous look. “Are you sure James? He can get really fussy when we leave. We don’t want to get so upset that you can’t do your work.”

“It will be okay. I can handle it.” The process of dislodging Logan was an ordeal. The poor baby gripped at whatever he could to avoid being separated whether it be George’s hair or shirt before trying to cling onto Alex’s jacket.

“Wahhh!” Logan pushed and wiggled, trying to get free.

“Please call us if you need anything.” George implored before quickly taking off with Alex.

“Wahhh!” Logan’s face was bright red.

“I know,” James patted Logan on the back. “I know you’re very upset but your parents have very important jobs to do today. They also don’t want to leave you but they’ll be back soon.”

This did nothing to quell the wailing but Logan was starting to get tired enough that he started to lay his head down on James’s shoulders to continue crying.

“It’ll be okay. Your parents don’t even like media duties so maybe they’ll be back quite quickly. Though Alex is quite good at being in front of a camera…The rear suspension legs are re-oriented due to the new air flow structure.” It had taken 15 minutes of James talking about media duties, the marketing department, and the new upgrades for Logan to knock out.

Alex was sure he never held as much contempt for marketing and media day as today. It was bad enough being separated from Logan but to also be asked question about whether or not they can be good drivers knowing that they have to take care of a child made him want to pull his hair out. George was practically sprinting to Williams having teared up earlier when he had to leave Logan.

I can’t believe I have two crybabies

The two of them were directed to James’s office. The door was slightly open and there was talking inside. “During Silverstone, we started off on softs…”

George was prepared for a meltdown from Logan and a potential breakdown from James because his baby had the stamina to cry for over an hour. Instead, he found Logan comfortably knocked as James rattled off tire data. Maybe it was better to have Logan stay at Williams for the time being.

[welcome-to-green-hills]

Hey mystery! Time to flex the big brain of yours with a science question. I’m sure that you’re familiar with the recent change in ages for Sonic and co. All of their ages were removed. So my question to you is how old would Sonic and his friends be since he’s now meant to be seen as TEENAGER?

Hello, my dear!❤️✨

This is a very interesting question. And I say that because it's a very... controversial (?) topic in the fandom at the moment. For those of you who are not familiar with the matter, the ages for many characters on their Sonic Channel bios were removed back in October (Bevan, 2022). Even characters like Vector and Rouge, who have notoriously been viewed as adults in canon, do not have a defined age anymore. This was a decision made by SEGA of Japan (SoJ) to keep the characters ambiguous with ages. For some characters, we can still infer that they’re strictly teenagers, like Sonic (Game Informer, 2022. 05:00 to 05:08). Maybe a little bit older, but not by much. It could range between 13-years-old to 19-years-old. It’s really up for interpretation with some fans, especially since the actors for the Sonic series are focusing on deeper voices.

Disclaimer:

I am more than happy to answer this question, but I’m afraid that I’m very limited on how I can answer this. Ages displayed throughout the series has always been a fickle thing. And that’s okay! I’m assuming that this ask is geared towards Game!Sonic rather than Sonic Wachowski, since his canonical age is 13-going-on-14 (Fowler, 2020). If this ask is geared towards me debunking the "age argument," then you might get a different answer. That, and I'm not gonna buy into the B.S. that comes from it.

The problem here is that I'm being asked to apply scientific logic to a fictional character. That's all well and good, but I'm limited in resources. That, and I'm making assumptions on how physiological traits work with an anthropomorphic animal. I'm basing my conclusions on human physiology. While this may seem logical for the ask, I don’t necessarily know how “fair." This would be considered more of a headcanon rather than a scientific explanation to your question. If there was more of an understanding of the Sonic characters’ anatomy, then I would be comfortable with giving a strong answer. They best that I can supply is a hypothetical scenario that might supply a content answer. “Content” meaning that’s it’s fine, but gives me enough wriggle room to debunk/empathize in the future.

I must also stress that an average does not mean the "perfect model." No singular person is the same. There is no such thing as normal. When I say that something is of average comparison, I'm translating it to a general starting point. I need a base to go on in order to build on top of my reasoning and data.

References:

For this ask, I will be looking at cranial structures and comparing them to both human, anthropomorphic animals (Sonic). Data that is generated to answer this ask comes from existing games, interviews with game developers, and anthropological research.

The methodology and techniques that I’ll be referencing comes from “Bare Bones: A Survey of Forensic Anthropology” by, Michael Warren et al. (2012). This is an excellent book that provides techniques and disciplines to criminologists, anthropologists, and physicians. The Smithsonian: National Museum of Natural History provides a sample of "Forensic Anthropology 101" in their free educational service HERE. I’ll also be referencing different case studies found in cultural anthropology journals. Hyperlinks will be attached in the in-text citations for view.

Methods:

I can answer this question using basic forensic techniques. There are a few different ways to determine an individual’s age when examining skeletal anatomy:

Cranial anatomy

The pelvic girdle (pelvis)

Femur

Mandible

Most archaeologists and forensic anthropologists will answer that the pelvic girdle is the best indicator for identifying an individual's age. The pelvis girdle consists of three main bones: hip bone (ilium, ischium, pubis), sacrum and the coccyx. With this, we look at the level of maturity of bone growth to make an educated guess. This can be identified by the bone's state of fusion. Depending on the identification of the individual, the pubis may fuse or grow robust. If the femur is present with the pelvis girdle, then the collected data becomes stronger. The femur is measured in height from the neck to the head, then the shaft alone to provide an idea of one's stature. All of these together create a plausible stature for one's growth and maturity.

The mandible is touch-and-go. I’ve shared in the past that teeth can provide an idea of an individual’s weight, social/economic status, stature, left/right dominance, and types of bite when chewing food. The state in which teeth grow in can give us an indication of age. This is just as good as observing one's age with a pelvis girdle. If not, maybe a bit better! However, this only works if there's a certain amount of teeth present and a record of growth is present. We look at an individual’s molars and premolars in order to determine a rough estimate in age. On average, wisdom teeth come in between the ages of 17 to 25 (Renton et al., 2016). Some are late bloomers, others are early birds. X-Rays can help us identify where the teeth are currently and provide a projection of when they'll appear. As long as there is recorded data on how teeth grow and when they come in, it's easy to determine how old someone is.

Finally, we have the calvaria. For the sake of sanity, I will be referring to this as the “cranial cap." This is the top crown of the head with four major bones that shapes the skull. These bones feature the frontal bone, two parietal bones, and one occipital bone. Along the top of the cranial cap we see these squiggles that separate the bones. These are called “sutures.” Sutures can be defined or barely visible due to the state of mend. Through maturity, these bones mend together to create one bone rather than four. These are not signs of damage done to the head, these are signs that show the state in which a child is growing (Warren et Al., 2012). Sutures are a result of an infant's cranial cap fusing together after being birthed. To put simply; the less defined they are, the older that one supposedly is.

OBSERVATION:

As explained in the “Methods,” section, the cranial cap and mandible appear to be a more logical choice when determining Sonic’s age. I am fortunate for the small crumbs given to me from Sonic CD (1994) and Sonic Unleashed (2008). Both of these provide a good picture of Sonic’s biological estimation on age range. I will not be referring to Evan Stanley’s interpretation of his skull. I do not feel that this is necessary, nor canon. This is Ms. Stanley’s interpretation of Sonic anatomy and fan art.

Mandible

Right before it's initial release, Sonic Unleashed's opening cinematic was meant to have a darker tone. Initially, the beta version of the scene depicted Sonic being electrocuted in his super form as he's infused with Dark Gaia energy. This scene was also meant to show his skeleton during the painful transformation. Screenshots of the scene are available online. One particular shot shows enough of Sonic's mandible to identify canine, incisor, premolars, and molars. The image above shows that at least ONE wisdom tooth (third molar) is present. Other signs of third molars is not visible due to angle of shot.

In the animated short titled "Night of the Werehog," we're given a good shot of Sonic opening his mouth and showing his fangs. Way in back are three molars (Image has been brightened and highlighted for view). Since one confirmed wisdom tooth is present in the shot, we could infer that Sonic is at least 17-years-old. Not fifteen. Seventeen is the average age for when we see wisdom teeth begin to grow in.

Cranial anatomy/Cranial Cap

In Sonic CD (1993), there is a particular scene where Sonic is electrocuted once again. [Fun Fact: one would not be able to see Sonic's skeleton if electrocuted, you'd see his nervous system instead.] Once again, players are able to see Sonic's entire skeletal system. The problem with this example is that it's pixelated art. Pixel art can range from being detailed works of art, or simplified icons that have symbolic meaning. The skeletal anatomy that we see of Sonic in the CD title is not enough for me to draw a conclusion on how old he is. It's merely a representation of a shock taking place.

For a better representation of a cranial cap, we should refer to the beta version of Sonic Unleashed once more. Sutures on Sonic's skull are a tad harder to make out in the image due to how saturated the scene is. A wonderful example of seeing Sonic's cranial suture can be seen at a side profile. The one closes to the sphenoid bone (eye socket) is a cranial suture. Again, this one is up for debate since the quality of the photo is poor. For the sake of sanity, we'll claim that this is a suture.

Examining the suture, we see that it's less defined. This does not mean that the sutures disappear completely. As we grow older, the bone fuses. If Sonic were younger, then the sutures would be more defined. Here, they've fused quite finely. This leads me to believe that he is out of the child phase (1yr to 12yrs) and into Adolescence (13yrs to 17yrs).

Femur & Pelvic Girdle/Pelvis

Generally, there's a model that can be used to display what a mature individual looks like compared to an adolescent when observing a pelvis girdle. Here, it's a bit harder for me to make an assumption because there's a lacking model of what adults and adolescents look like for anthropomorphic animals. This is a query that I've faced when trying to examine Sonic's skeletal anatomy. Of course, measuring a femur and weighing the density of bone could provide some insight on Sonic's estimated age (Shipman, 2018).

In a real world, that would require lots of money and an actual subject that is the equivalent to Sonic's height and weight (canonically, Sonic is 100cm tall and weighs 35kg). You'd then have to figure how much the bone density changes when someone stands up, sits down, lies down, and so forth. Plus, I don't know Sonic's level of body fat to even begin doing a simple calculation. It's a bit of a headache the more that this is tackled upon. That is a lot of data to collect for a talking blue hedgehog.

Measurements of the femur to the pelvis are fine and dandy, but the data is inconclusive. A simple measurement could be off by a single year or three. Once more, it's kind of hard to capture a crisp picture of the pelvis girdle and femur. I feel that gathering data from this perspective is inconclusive.

Discussion:

I must stress that this isn’t meant to be as in-depth or taken seriously. I must also stress that many social groups around the world have different approaches and cultural definitions to what it means to be a teenager. This is a common topic that I try to educate people about when it comes to cultural norms and social practices. Most western cultures consider that teenagers starting at 13yrs of age and ending at 17yrs of age before becoming a legal adult at 18yrs. Some western cultures even extend the age gap to 13yrs to 19yrs. Cultural and social teachings of how we define what is and isn’t a teenager could easily be defined as “adolescence.” We refer to this as adolescence, it allows us to have an extended age gap of 13yrs to 19yrs (Ember et Al., 2017). It all narrows down to how these practices and beliefs are taught within one’s community.

Some fans headcanon Sonic and his friends are growing older, others younger… or even stick with the Western interpretation of him being 15-years-old. Sonic's age has always been ambiguous, meaning that it's not narrowed down to a specific number. The query that I've faced is that there is a lack of official material that displays this easily. The information that I have shared in this post works on a plausible theory that he's older than 15. However, gaming manuals have almost always made it a point hat hes 15/16 (Sonic Heroes Game Manual, 2003). The point now is that he's a teenager. He will always be viewed as a teenager in this canon. To me, Game!Sonic is definitely older. He clearly shows characteristics of being an older version of himself (the strongest supporting evidence here being his teeth), but still within the range of being classified as a "teenager."

My goal here is to not enforce one way of thinking. The most that I can do is supply the data and leave you, the reader, to make your own conclusions. I hope that this answers your question, my dear.

[limatsoftsolutionsworld]

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[zoeythebee]

are algorithms required for being a professional developer? do you know up to what extent? I know they ask about algorithms in interviews, and you have to have a strong understanding of the fundamentals, but do you have to solve algorithm questions directly?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Algorithms are probably the most important thing you need to get professional jobs. The second being data structures.

Unfortunately, my algorthims skills are genuinely terrible so I cant really give you much information to help out in regards to learning.

And as far as I know (I've never gotten a job interview for a developer) they really grill your ass for job interviews.

That's about all I can say, sorry I cant help more.

In game dev you only need to know a couple of basic data structures so I'm a noob.

[cyberstudious]

what's it like studying CS?? im pretty confused if i should choose CS as my major xx

hi there!

first, two "misconceptions" or maybe somewhat surprising things that I think are worth mentioning:

there really isn't that much "math" in the calculus/arithmetic sense*. I mostly remember doing lots of proofs. don't let not being a math wiz stop you from majoring in CS if you like CS

you can get by with surprisingly little programming - yeah you'll have programming assignments, but a degree program will teach you the theory and concepts for the most part (this is where universities will differ on the scale of theory vs. practice, but you'll always get a mix of both and it's important to learn both!)

*: there are some sub-fields where you actually do a Lot of math - machine learning and graphics programming will have you doing a lot of linear algebra, and I'm sure that there are plenty more that I don't remember at the moment. the point is that 1) if you're a bit afraid of math that's fine, you can still thrive in a CS degree but 2) if you love math or are willing to be brave there are a lot of cool things you can do!

I think the best way to get a good sense of what a major is like is to check out a sample degree plan from a university you're considering! here are some of the basic kinds of classes you'd be taking:

basic programming courses: you'll knock these out in your first year - once you know how to code and you have an in-depth understanding of the concepts, you now have a mental framework for the rest of your degree. and also once you learn one programming language, it's pretty easy to pick up another one, and you'll probably work in a handful of different languages throughout your degree.

discrete math/math for computer science courses: more courses that you'll take early on - this is mostly logic and learning to write proofs, and towards the end it just kind of becomes a bunch of semi-related math concepts that are useful in computing & problem solving. oh also I had to take a stats for CS course & a linear algebra course. oh and also calculus but that was mostly a university core requirement thing, I literally never really used it in my CS classes lol

data structures & algorithms: these are the big boys. stacks, queues, linked lists, trees, graphs, sorting algorithms, more complicated algorithms… if you're interviewing for a programming job, they will ask you data structures & algorithms questions. also this is where you learn to write smart, efficient code and solve problems. also this is where you learn which problems are proven to be unsolvable (or at least unsolvable in a reasonable amount of time) so you don't waste your time lol

courses on specific topics: operating systems, Linux/UNIX, circuits, databases, compilers, software engineering/design patterns, automata theory… some of these will be required, and then you'll get to pick some depending on what your interests are! I took cybersecurity-related courses but there really are so many different options!

In general I think CS is a really cool major that you can do a lot with. I realize this was pretty vague, so if you have any more questions feel free to send them my way! also I'm happy to talk more about specific classes/topics or if you just want an answer to "wtf is automata theory" lol

[philosophiesde]

Zoomposium with Dr. Gabriele Scheler: “The language of the brain - or how AI can learn from biological language models”

In another very exciting interview from our Zoomposium themed blog “#Artificial #intelligence and its consequences”, Axel and I talk this time to the German computer scientist, AI researcher and neuroscientist Gabriele Scheler, who has been living and researching in the USA for some time. She is co-founder and research director at the #Carl #Correns #Foundation for Mathematical Biology in San José, USA, which was named after her famous German ancestor Carl Correns. Her research there includes #epigenetic #influences using #computational #neuroscience in the form of #mathematical #modeling and #theoretical #analysis of #empirical #data as #simulations. Gabriele contacted me because she had come across our Zoomposium interview “How do machines think? with #Konrad #Kording and wanted to conduct an interview with us based on her own expertise. Of course, I was immediately enthusiastic about this idea, as the topic of “#thinking vs. #language” had been “hanging in the air” for some time and had also led to my essay “Realists vs. nominalists - or the old dualism ‘thinking vs. language’” (https://philosophies.de/index.php/2024/07/02/realisten-vs-nominalisten/).

In addition, we often talked to #AI #researchers in our Zoomposium about the extent to which the development of “#Large #Language #Models (#LLM)”, such as #ChatGPT, does not also say something about the formation and use of language in the human #brain. In other words, it is actually about the old question of whether we can think without #language or whether #cognitive #performance is only made possible by the formation and use of language. Interestingly, this question is being driven forward by #AI #research and #computational #neuroscience. Here, too, a gradual “#paradigm #shift” is emerging, moving away from the purely information-technological, mechanistic, purely data-driven “#big #data” concept of #LLMs towards increasingly information-biological, polycontextural, structure-driven “#artificial #neural #networks (#ANN)” concepts. This is exactly what I had already tried to describe in my earlier essay “The system needs new structures” (https://philosophies.de/index.php/2021/08/14/das-system-braucht-neue-strukturen/).

So it was all the more obvious that we should talk to Gabriele, a proven expert in the fields of #bioinformatics, #computational #linguistics and #computational #neuroscience, in order to clarify such questions. As she comes from both fields (linguistics and neuroscience), she was able to answer our questions in our joint interview. More at: https://philosophies.de/index.php/2024/11/18/sprache-des-gehirns/

or: https://youtu.be/forOGk8k0W8

[thewomancallednova]

Coming of Age

oh this was excellent!

I absolutely adore the general message of "it's okay to fail" that this episode has going on, with how Wesley's arc ended, with how Kurland is essentially forgiven for stealing a shuttle and how we learn that Picard also failed to get into the academy first time.

It's just so well done all around

The story on the Enterprise about Remmick investigating the ship was really suspensful

I loved that we got some callbacks to "questionable" situations earlier in the season

Very funny that Remmick interviewed every member of the crew. Like that's over a thousand people. Imagine being some random lower decker and Remmick asking you about all the worst things this guy who you hear over the comms when he announces stuff did and you're just like, "uh, I think I saw him like put pineapple on a pizza once I think? Or maybe it was some other bald guy in a red uniform, it was kinda hard to tell from the distance"

I really liked that cut when Remmick interviews Data, turns around the screen and then it's Worf in the reflection

Loved Riker's reaction to Picard getting promoted. This dude wants to sit in the big chair sooooo bad just let him!

Loved that we actually got a scene where Worf got to be more than "vaguely angry looking super strong guy" and that he got to talk about himself as a person!

The conclusion with Wesley's greatest fear being to have to make a decision like the one that got his father killed was really well done And interesting to know that he assigns responsibility to Picard specifically too.

It's kinda sad what's gonna happen to Remmick, he seems like he'd have made a precious addition to the crew. Kind of like a Clarke Hayden type.

I appreciate that there's another species out there that's a bit like the Tellarites in terms of eschewing courtesy. Just a few weeks ago I had to make a species like that up for my role playing game, kinda sad that I could've just used these guys ^^

In general I think it's weird that the academy seemingly will just not accept perfectly good candidates based on a "only one person from this facility" system. Like, it's only coincidence, that the Enterprise was there, right? If the flight schedule would have been different, Wesley may have performed these tests on a different planet, perhaps with weaker competitors and gotten in. Obviously I get why that doesn't work for the structure of this episode, but it just seems odd.

Also wanna bet that Starfleet reached out to all of those spurned candidates real fast after Wolf 359?

I think Starfleet Academy wouldn't be for me, with how ultra-competitive it seems.

But that's okay because I don't have to go there :)

[thelongestway]

So, for once my fictional sociologists have cooperated! It's amazing what wonders happen once you resolve the plot bullshit that's been bothering you for so long!

Enjoy the fictional and totally made up non-structured interview!

Chapter 21: Probe

Thiago steepled his fingers, looking away at the wall. Then he pulled a physical notepad out of his equipment bag and got ready to make notes, the way he usually did when he worked.

"All right," He finally said. "You said that you're talking to me because I haven't failed to listen to you in your domain of expertise. But you're hesitant to talk to me now, because you're worried what you're going to say will come across as stupid, fucked up and excessively controlling. Is that right?"

"Yeah."

Thiago wrote something down. (My drone could read the pad if I wanted it to, but since Thiago decided to be smart today, I wasn't going to fuck it up for him.)

"Excessively controlling. Can you tell me what makes what you're going to say excessive?"

"Because it fits with the metric you provided when we had our conflict two months ago." Thiago scrunched his face up, trying to remember. So I added, "When you were going to call me a prison guard."

Some blood drained from his face.

"I didn't--"

"Dandelion helped me analyze your subvocalizations."

Thiago took a long and shaky breath.

"First of all, I want to explicitly say that it was a fucked up thing to say to someone who escaped corporate control. I was wrong to snap at you, and I'm glad Mensah stopped me before I could finish that sentence."

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, trying to judge my reaction. I nodded.

"Second… That's an interesting thing to bring up in this context. There's a lot of ways to describe that situation, like 'that time you yelled at my drone in Mensah's room' or 'that time you were being an idiot about allergies.' But you went with 'when you were going to call me a prison guard.' Is there a reason for that?"

"No."

Thiago wrote something down again. "Then I'll backburner that for now--am I using that expression right?"

"Yeah."

It was kind of impressive he remembered it at all. I didn't usually say that one aloud.

"The metric I provided two months ago--that was about you controlling our every move in mundane situations?"

"Yeah."

"But right now we aren't really in a mundane situation. You're handling a threat scenario. Can you tell me about why the metric I gave you applies?"

"Because I want to tell you not to do an obvious and logical thing."

"Uh-huh?"

"And maybe you would have listened. But you'd just decide I was being an asshole again for no reason."

I felt stupid even as I said it. Who the fuck even cares if Thiago thinks I'm an asshole?

Apparently I did. Ugh. That sucked.

"Right. So you want me to refrain from an action that's so obvious and logical that, even in a threat scenario, it registers as mundane? So normal that I wouldn't even think to question it?"

"Yeah."

"And that action is connected to Aspen?" I nodded. "Can you tell me what action?"

"It'll still sound stupid, controlling and fucked up. That hasn't changed."

Thiago nodded.

"Can I name a few guesses I have?"

"Yes."

"You don't want me to share information with Aspen? Or request additional data from Aspen? Or to be involved in what you two are doing to keep us safe at all?"

"That last question is wrong."

"The question itself?

"Yeah."

Thiago wrote something down.

"What about the first two questions?"

"Yes." Thiago made that same 'uh-huh' noise. Ugh. I was going to have to say it. "I don't want you to share information or request additional data from Aspen."

"And the third question is wrong?"

"Yeah. I already said that."

"You don't think they're trying to keep us safe?"

I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't. Not really. Aspen gave me cameras. They gave me information. They trusted me to make decisions for them.

They let me do my job. Why was I so fucking angry at them?

Thiago didn't say anything, or add any follow up questions. He just waited. (Dr. Bharadwaj would have asked why I was so angry. Thiago didn't. He didn't ask about my emotions at all, which was nice. I liked analytics that didn't need emotions to work.)

Finally, I said: "I don't think they're trying to keep you safe. Plural you. 'My humans' you."

"I see. Is there some specific reason you came to the conclusion Aspen isn't trying to keep us safe?"

"They're not collecting the information they'd need to do that."

"How would they collect the information they need, if they were really trying to keep us safe?"

"They'd hack Caldera." Thiago raised his head in surprise, professional face slipping. I said, "I told you you'd think it was fucked up."

"I don't know that yet," Thiago said. "It is surprising, though. And that means there's something interesting in here. Can I probe at it a little longer?"

"Go ahead."

"There's probably a lot they can do to keep us safe. Why exactly is hacking Caldera so important?"

"Because they don't have the right information! I asked them what they had on Zheni when we found out about her, and Aspen didn't have anything relevant. And a) they should have had that data by now, or their planning is fucked, and b) they do want to have that information, because they said just enough to make you go 'hmm, let's find out'. And now they're just sitting back, letting one of my humans take all the risks, while they could have gotten the same information in seconds! They're the fucking HubSystem around here, that's their entire fucking job!"

Thiago was scribbling furiously, and he continued to do that for an entire minute after I stopped talking.

"Give me a second," he said. "That's a lot of data."

"How the fuck is 100 words a lot of data?"

"When the majority of your responses have been one to ten words, one hundred words is a lot!" Thiago said, focused. He re-read his notes. "So, Aspen doesn't want to keep us--Preservation and PSUMNT people--safe, because they're using us as informants to gather information on their enemy, and they don't care if we get hurt in the process. Am I getting this right?"

"Yeah."

His summary was right, but somehow it sounded so stupid when Thiago put it like that. Humans were really bad at information gathering. Aspen didn't need them to find anything out. Even if they weren't hacking Caldera directly, they had their fucking lattice filters and could probably get a lot from them. This made no fucking sense at all.

"Your vocalization indicates uncertainty," Thiago said. "Do I read you right?"

"Yeah. Because this is the stupid part."

He cracked a smile.

"Well, we've gotten through 'excessively controlling' and 'fucked up' just fine. Let's have the stupid, too. What exactly is stupid about all of this?"

"That it doesn't make any sense. If Aspen was planning to use you all as informants, they would have started doing it two days ago, and they didn't. I've had cameras on everyone, and they haven't done anything like that."

Thiago nodded.

"We don't even talk all that much. I can count the number of times I spoke to them directly on one hand, I think, though I don't know about anyone else. That said--it's bothering you that they seem to be willing to use our data, but… Aren't willing to collect the data themselves? Is that right?"

"Yeah. It makes no sense. They could do it so easily, and they just won't. It makes my threat assessment go off like crazy. They're supposed to be working with me, and they're not doing it right, and it…"

It scared me. They scared me. More than ART or Dandelion ever did.

Thiago looked at me out of the corner of his eye again.

"You can look at me if you need to. For your assessments. Not for anything else," I said.

"Thank you," he said seriously.

(But he still didn't look for very long.)

"So Aspen's powerful and unpredictable. They have the safety of your people in their… Hands? Let's go with hands. And you don't know what they're doing exactly, but you do know that what you can see seems wrong. In that case, it doesn't look irrational at all that you're not sure what to do."

Wow. Did Thiago of all people just make me have an emotion? What a fucking day.

"Now you know," I said.

Thiago nodded.

"I wish I could help," he said, wincing. "But we've established I'm pretty bad when it comes to security."

Yeah, he was. But his social analytics were good enough that he was the one doing social threat assessment on the Trellians for PresAux. I could work with that.

"You can do social analytics. That could be useful."

"I'm glad you think so, though it's not my main field. I'm a sociolinguist. I don't really have a lot of experience in analyzing ancient central systems."

"Close enough. Because Aspen has a lot of analytical modules that are very similar to what you're doing, and they might be relying on these modules to do stuff I don't understand."

Thiago blinked.

"Very similar analytical modules," he said very slowly. "What- what exactly do you mean, SecUnit? And, uh, how do you know that?"

"I saw their analytics threads and asked what they were for. Aspen said they were modules used for sociological analysis. I showed them your reading list and they said yes, it was like that. So you probably understand what they're doing better than I do."

I wasn't going to tell Thiago how creepy the fucking things were. But he looked terrified anyway. (He hadn't even looked that terrified when negotiating with the Targets.)

(He probably understood how scary Aspen's analytics were because he could do a simpler, human version himself.)

Do you need some water, Dr. Thiago? ART said.

"No, thank you, Perihelion, I'm--I'm fine." (Thiago was lying. But I wasn't going to tell him that.) "It's just--SecUnit, I…I have a question."

"Yes?"

Thiago stared at the wall. Pointedly. Then he said,

"Did you give Dr. Aspen fucking Greaves my sociology reading list?"

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

--

MY WRITING MAKES IT SO OTHERS CAN FEEL SEEN: A QUEER PHENOMENOLOGICAL STUDY OF LGBTQ+ COLLEGE STUDENTS AFFECTIVE EXPERIENCES IN AN OUT-OF-SCHOOL POETRY WORKSHOP

A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY

Abstract

This dissertation explores the affective experiences of LGBTQ+ undergraduates in an out-of-school poetry workshop. Through the lens of queer and affect theories, the study asks the following research questions: 1) How does reading and writing poetry foster community in an LGBTQ+ out-of-school poetry workshop? (2) How can participation in an out-of-school poetry workshop with members who identify as LGBTQ+ engender a love of writing in queer students? (3) How do LGBTQ+ college students’ affective experiences manifest in a queer out-of-school poetry workshop? Using queer phenomenological methods (Ahmed, 2006) to engage with such data sources as audio and video class recordings, semi structured interviews, field notes, memos, and student writing, the study explores the way that two self-identified LGBTQ undergraduate students came to understand their writing and experiences in a queer out-of-school writing workshop space. Specifically, it engages with the ways young people interact with texts and writing prompts that center queer topics and issues, and how reorienting a space in which queer bodies and subjects are made visible can lead to increased engagement, empathy, and confidence in literacy skills

--

==

If you're wondering what this all is and means... it's nothing. It is and means literally nothing.

"But surely..." you may be thinking. No. These aren't real things, this is literally not anything. It's no more real than a $3 bill. From top to bottom, it's fake.