#dead poets x y/n

[evis-gossip]

Why I think Todd is bi

I think he would cling to whoever pays more attention to him (yes, I am implying that he’s an attention whore, sue me)

In the movie it happens to be Neil, but if there was anyone, boy, girl or anything, everything or nothing in between that gave him more love, he would be in deep, like it or not

He’s touch starved through and through

So, I shall like to present you with some headcanons or whatever about Todd being a simp

If you were to encourage him in his writings, tell him that he’s is talented, his eyes would glaze over and pouty

If you made any sort of positive comment about his physical appearance, he would melt. Ex: if you were to tell him that he was pretty, he would go tomato red so fast. And then if you were to tell him that was even prettier when he blushes, he would he even redder, shy, all hot and bothered. He wouldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks, but he would also avoid you at all cost.

If you were to touch him in any comforting way, he would lean into it so much he would trip over himself, would be embarrassed about it, to which you would comfort him further and even more physically, like hug him tighter and he would blush with his face so hot you would feel it through multiple layers of fabric

I feel like he would enjoy skin to skin contact would make him feel over the moon, even in the most innocent ways. Holding hands or caressing his cheek would have him stuttering and mumbling incoherently

And don’t even get me started on playing with his hair. As soon as you run your fingers through hair he would sigh and nearly whimper is he’s stressed. If you have long nails and graze them on his scalp his eyes would roll back into his skull, and he might even feel like he could pass out cold

On now let’s get on with kisses. If you were to do something as simple as tenderly kissing his cheek, or forehead, or temple he would feel like his heart would burst. If you peppered his face with little kisses he would let out the most delightful giggles, he would fight it at first but would eventually give in, obviously blushing profusely

If you actually kissed his lips, cupping his face, holding him gently, he would be putty on your hands. He wouldn’t want to even let go of you afterwards, definitely too dizzy to stand on his own

Now if you put it all together, the touches, the embrace, the kisses, the tenderness, well, let’s just say he’d need to lay down. And if you did all of this before or more than anyone else, he’d be wrapped around your finger, forever. Insanely head over heels for you.

Now, I think Neil must have done, some if not all of those thing throughout the movie. But this are the reasons why I think he would definitely fall in love regardless of gender, hence making him bi, but that’s just my opinion.

<3

[ash5monster01]

ello love! (for ur val celebration) can u write rafe Cameron for #4!! maybe make it grumpy r x sunshine rafe?

The Perfect Day

Valentines Celebration Prompt

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader

Warnings: grumpy reader x sunshine Rafe, fluff, confrontation, slight betrayal, language

4. You’ve always pretended you hate love to avoid getting hurt but then he stumbles upon a journal where he discovers you romanticize everything, including him.

word count: 1.6k

Masterlist

Rafe was not used to being the upbeat friend with absolutely anyone. That was except for you. You were just as annoyed with the world as him if not more. So somehow he took on the job of making sure you keep an open mind on everything around you. When someone talked to loud on their phone he was the one to keep you from saying anything and when an old couple kissed on the beach he was the one to remove to scowl on your face. He wasn’t sure whatever made you see the worst in everything and everyone but he knew you deserved more. You deserved hope. So even though he had been tainted by the world himself he still wanted to make sure it was a good place for you.

Which is why most of his weekends are spent taking you on small adventures, trying his best to get you to see the beauty in the world. So just like every Friday night he sits on your bed and waits for you to finish your shower so you could start off the weekend together. Other than today he was extremely bored. His phone had died and your bedside charger hadn’t quite brought it to life yet and he didn’t know what to do with himself. Which probably explains why his hand reached to pull your bedside drawer open.

Of all the things he expected to find in there the last was a diary. You hated everyone and everything. There was almost no practical reason for you to ever have an item intended to romanticize the life around you. And yet, leather bound and all is a dainty pink journal that has clearly been touched everyday. He doesn’t want to open it, but the more he stares the more he realizes he can’t even picture you lying here in bed at night and spilling every thought you had in the journal. So he opens it to prove himself wrong.

Today was a perfect day. Not only did Rafe make the most perfect fluffy pancakes for breakfast but he used strawberries to add a smiley face to them. He’s so good like that. Taking such small gestures and making them resonate within your entire being. I told him I wasn’t a child the whole time but secretly I loved it. It was adorable to think of him standing in my kitchen, smiling to himself as he crafted a perfect smiley face just to put a smile on mine. I could barely eat my pancake. I just watched and appreciated him. He hums while he eats, no particular tune but I never want to forget it. It’s my favorite song. I also love the way his nose scrunches when I make him laugh. It’s the cutest wrinkle that makes me wish I could smooth it out with my thumb every time. People are always so worried about getting laugh lines when they’re older but they’d look so handsome on Rafe. A constant reminder of all the times he saw me for me and accepted who I was. I hope I get to see those laugh lines for the rest of my life and be reminded I was the one who put them there. No one else deserving of the radiance that is Rafe Cameron. He makes every day a perfect day.

“What are you doing?” your voice startles him, the journal flipping from his hands and landing to the ground on the side of your bed with a thud.

“I- uh. My phone died, and I was just-. I thought you’d have a book or something” the excuse is weak and his stutter confirms his lie even more. Your hair is damp over your shoulders, more than likely soaking the black fabric of the small shirt you have on.

“I have a whole shelf over there, this is private” your words are sharp as you move to grab the journal from where he had lost it. He watches as you lift it up only to discover the pages he was on. Your eyes move fast across the page and then dart up at him quickly. “Did you read this?”

“Um, I uh-“ but your standing and hugging the notebook that just revealed you are so much more than a girl that’s hates the world but a girl that’s in love with it for all the things that make it beautiful. Including your relationship with him.

“Oh my God you read it” and now you’re pacing, unsure if you should fight off tears or the panic that’s lodged its way into your throat and is making you sick.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s no big deal” Rafe is scrambling off the bed, grabbing your shoulders to ensure you stop pacing.

“It is a big deal Rafe, this is humiliating. These are my private thoughts” you tell him, a bit exasperated to even be in this predicament right now.

“I know but I thought your private thoughts would be more along the lines of ‘not only did Rafe wake me up early for a surprise breakfast but he put a smiley face on my pancake like a kid. Mornings suck and smiles are for ignorant children’” and you hate that he knows you so well, or at least the person you hid behind. A girl can only wear her heart on her sleeve so much before it finally gets torn apart.

“Ugh, you really did read it” you groan out, moving to sit on the end of your bed and Rafe lightly chuckles, still filled with shock over his discovery and attraction towards you. It must be that adorable pout.

“Yes, but it’s not a big deal. I thought it was sweet” he says sitting beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“Ew, do not call me sweet” you groan and a laugh bellows out of him.

“Oh please, you love it. And me too apparently” and now your face is as red as a firetruck because Rafe knows everything. That you really don’t hate the world around you.

“I can’t even deny it anymore” and now that you weren’t entirely embarrassed and owning up to the situation, Rafe feels the seriousness hit him like a wave. Suddenly his arm is wrapped around a girl he’s liked for a long time and never thought would like him back. Yet now he knew that she did.

“If it helps, I like you too. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be making you pancakes early in the morning” he tells you, body nudging into your own, and you lightly laugh. You always assumed that your love for Rafe would be hidden by your hate for everything but now that the truth was out it made sense that it didn’t. Secrets never stay secrets for long.

“You still shouldn’t have found out that way” you say lifting the journal in your arms and he smiles softly at you.

“Can I ask why you pretend so much?” Rafe asks after a beat and you sigh, turning to face him which makes his arm fall off your shoulder. He watches as you finally release the journal on your bed and he knows you’re ready to open up.

“A girl can only wear her heart on her sleeve for so long until it becomes ruined. When you expose things to people, put them out there in the real world, they’ll always come back a little less perfect than before. I was tired of getting hurt and if you already assume the worst there is no chance of ever breaking down” you tell him, knowing how silly it sounds. To pretend to be so mean and vile towards everyone and everything when in reality all you ever wanted to do was love.

“I can understand that” Rafe says, thinking of all the times his own father had tainted his heart when growing up. Why Rafe was willing to do anything to get his Dad to love him. See him as something good, just like Sarah.

“I didn’t mean to lie, I just thought if you knew how I felt you would hurt me too” you say and Rafe sighs before scooting closer, hating that you had put distance between you both.

“Honey, I hate everyone and everything except for you. You should’ve known everytime I cheered you up and made pancakes at the ass crack of dawn was because I liked you” he says and the laugh that bubbles past your lips makes Rafe’s heart soar.

“I suppose you’re right, I guess I just couldn’t take my chances” you say and Rafe is grinning, hands wrapping around your hips, and pulling you flush against him.

“I’m going to kiss you now” he tells you and your heart doubles in speed as your eyes glance into his own. Rafe smiles briefly before ducking close and nudging his nose against your own. When your lips part for him he quickly seals against you. A soft hum of delight somehow finds its way from your throat and it has Rafe squeezing you closer as his tongue dips into your mouth. Once you’ve been kissed dizzy he pulls away, eyes glossed over as he looks back at his perfect girl.

“I was right” you say as he glances at your face, lips swollen from your own.

“Yeah, about what?” he asks with a teasing tone to his voice and you wrap your hands around his neck, grinning widely at him.

“You make every day a perfect day”

[lilahisntsadanymore]

Neil helps his best friend's sister with Latin. The problem is - he has a crush on her, but knows they could never be together. After all, he couldn't date Charlie's family, it's against the rules. And secondly - Neil is sure Y/n wouldn't have ever talked to him if it wasn't for the tutoring.

Pairing: Neil Perry x dalton!fem!reader

Words count: 1.5k

Warnings: none

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tutoring

"Thank you for helping me, Neil." Y/n said as she closed the door of her room. She stopped for a moment and then added, "I didn't ask if you wanted something to drink. Shall I bring tea? Coffee? Juice?"

"Water would be perfect," Neil sent the girl a smile.

As Y/n walked to the kitchen for two glasses of water, Neil unpacked his bag. He had some notes that could be helpful for whatever Y/n could need help with. He was a year ahead, so the things she was learning now, he knew cold.

At least tutoring let him spend some time with Y/n. Charlie wouldn't have a problem with his best friend and his sister having a thing, but that wasn't the problem. The Daltons were rich and that was the problem. If it wasn't for the tutoring, Y/n probably wouldn't even have talked to Neil. Neil's family wasn't poor, they had enough money to send him to Welton, but his father worked hard for this.

"Okay, I'm back!" Y/n announced, setting the cups with water on her nightstand, far away from the books.

"Great, so, what do you have a problem with?" Neil asked, taking a seat by Y/n's desk.

The girl sat down on a chair next to him, smiling. "Oh, you know... Latin." She giggled awkwardly, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Oh, how beautiful she looked in that moment. A bit blushed, smiling awkwardly. Neil was mesmerized and almost forgot what he came here for.

"Yes, but what in particular?" He tried masking his infatuation. And he was good at it so far.

"You know what, the desk feels uncomfortable for two people, doesn't it?" Y/n grabbed the book and tossed it onto the bed. "Let's sit there, shall we?"

And so they did. In front of each other, with their legs crossed. Neil forgot about his glasses, but he quickly reached into his bag to search for them.

Now Y/n seemed to be a little mesmerized. She hadn't seen him wearing glasses before and that was a very flattering model for him. Neil looked so attractive.

"Glasses suit you," the girl complimented, "do you ever wear them, you know, outside of studying?"

"No," he chuckled, "I don't need to." Right after this he said it, he scolded himself, in his head of course, for saying it. To make it less awkward he added, "Although thank you."

"No problem." Was it Neil's brain playing tricks on him, or did Y/n sound disappointed by his reply? "Okay, so let's start."

"What shall we start with? Do you wanna start from the beginning, or...?"

"No, no, not from the beginnings. I understand the basics, but it's get pretty difficult later on..."

"Yeah, languages have that thing where they get harder the more advanced they get."

The joke made Y/n smile. She pushed Neil playfully and he theatrically pretended it hurt him.

"Maybe we should start with ACI?"

"Accusativus cum infinitivo," Neil smiled at the memory of Charlie laughing at the word 'cum' every time, but to Y/n it just seemed like a kind smile sent to her. "Alright, let's start."

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

"I don't get it, Neil, I just don't!" Y/n whined pathetically. She felt truly hopeless if even Neil couldn't help her.

"No, Y/n, calm down, please, and listen to me." He ordered in a lower, but still kind voice.

Y/n looked at him with worry in her eyes. Worry and fear, but she wasn't scared of him. She was scared of not passing the class, failing her whole education.

Her eyes are so beautiful, Neil thought, she looks like a lost, little doe.

"I know what your problem is," he continued, "you don't know the declensions."

"Well, have you seen how many of those are there?"

"Yes, there are five. But why can't you remember them? From what I've seen today, you don't have a problem with conjugations."

"There's only four of those. And they just make more sense, you know? They feel natural to me. Meanwhile how am I supposed to remember it's puella, puellae, another puellae, puellam, puella with the funny line above the a and vocativus is the same as nominativus?"

"Not to brag, but I must be a really good teacher because you've just recited the first declension in singularis."

"I did?" Y/n beamed at the realization. "Neil, you're amazing!" She threw herself onto Neil, closing him in a very tight hug.

They were laying down on the bed. Neil was on his back and Y/n was on top of him. This moment lasted a bit longer than it was appropriate.

Y/n raised herself up, she went back to sit in the spot she was. She realized how inappropriate it was. She thought Neil must've felt so awkward right now. So she began apologizing and explaining.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I made it awkward, didn't I? I don't know what got into me. I guess I just- I don't- okay, there's no explanation," she knew she might take the explaining too far, but she didn't know how to stop this stream of words. "There is an explanation, actually. I like you, yes you've heard it right, I like you. More than a friend, I've had a crush from you since I met you."

Neil sat back in the cross-legged position. He was astonished by this confession. Not because he didn't feel the same. The thing was he did feel the same, but had no idea Y/n would, so he never prepared himself for this moment. He didn't know what to say, because it seemed so impossible to him. It was never supposed to happen.

"Oh no," a whine came from Y/n's mouth, "I knew I shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry, again. The way we looked at each other today, I thought the feelings were mutual."

"Y/n, calm down." Neil tried to keep his voice relaxed. He didn't want to make himself seem too excited, that could creep the girl out. "I do feel the same."

"You do?"

"I do, I just didn't know you would. That's why I've tried to keep it to myself."

His confession gave Y/n a bit of confidence. "You weren't so good at keeping this a secret today, the way you looked at me was... giving me signals, let's say."

When this problem was solved, there arised another. What were they going to do with it?

"So... what happens now?" Y/n asked.

"I'm asking myself the same question."

"Should we tell Charlie?" Tell him what though, Y/n? Y/n asked herself, This confession didn't change anything, you're not suddenly dating.

"No," Neil laughed, "I don't think he's ready. I don't think he's mature enough."

Y/n nodded with a smile on her face, but didn't say anything. So Neil continued.

"Would you like to start going on dates?"

"Sure, I would love that. What's your first date idea?" Y/n gave Neil a cheeky smile.

Neil's hand suddenly happened to be on Y/n's, intertwined by the fingers. "I will take you to my rehearsal. Afterwards, we can go eat something or have ice cream. What do you say?"

Without an answer, the girl scooted closer to him. Eventually, she gave Neil a reply. "I say, it is a nice idea. You must look so good on the stage, doing what you love to do."

In that moment, Neil blushed, but what made him blush even more, was Y/n's next action. She put her hand on his jawline and pulled him in for a kiss.

He didn't hesitate to kiss her back, but decided to let Y/n stay in control of the pace and everything else. It was a slow, very romantic kiss. It wasn't awkward, it felt as if they kissed so many times before, their lips co-worked just perfectly.

Soon, Neil's hands found their way to Y/n's waist to pull her closer. A moment later, the lovers were laying down on the bed again. But it wasn't going to go anywhere further than this kiss. Neither of them were ready, besides they've just confessed their feelings, it would be too quick.

After a while, Y/n pulled away, letting Neil and herself catch a breath. She laid down next to the boy, taking his hand in hers. She felt him rub her hand with his thumb. It felt so reassuring. Whatever happens later, we'll get through it.

If Charlie finds out, then he finds out and there's nothing he can do about it. If he doesn't like it, it's his problem, he should be mature enough to understand it.

If the parents find out, either Y/n's or Neil's (it didn't matter, because whoever found out, they would tell one another), then that would be a problem. But Neil was sure he would do something about it, he would make up a solution. It wouldn't be the first time he went against his parents' will.

In the worst case, Y/n and Neil would have to wait until they finish high school. After that, they would be adults, free to do whatever they wanted to. Whatever was going to happen, everything would work out in their favour.

[dovesdreaming]

Masterlist ⟶

Hello welcome to my masterlist! I hope you find what you are looking for <3 check my character guide for further information about people I write for! Before requesting please also look at my rules

Stranger things masterlist

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Dead poets society masterlist

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[stantheanomaly]

She says, 'You've been suicidal for years now. Yet, what keeps you alive?'

I say, 'I want to read the ending of One Piece.'

Suvrahadip Ghosh, It is what it is 🤷🏽‍♂️

[sarahisslytherin]

leaves of grass || t.a.

summary: todd helps you understand poetry, or at least he tries to.

contains: unicorn gumdrop rainbow fluff.

a/n: this anon request was sitting in my inbox for weeks and when i tried to answer it i lost it so i hope you see this hon. gif is by @yawpanderson.

you wait patiently for todd’s arrival. you had snuck into his and neil’s dorm a few minutes ago, just like you had agreed. like clockwork, the doorknob turns and in he walks. “sorry,” he immediately excuses himself, “the guys just wouldn’t let me go.”

“you’re right on time, todd.” you laugh. “why are you apologizing?”

“oh, i don’t know.” he laughs as well, though you can tell his is made up mostly of nerves. “i don’t really know the etiquette necessary when there’s a girl hiding in my room.” he pulls his chair out and takes a seat at his desk while you sit at the edge of his bed, textbook and notes in hand. 

“calm down, i’m not some random girl.” you smile, patting his knee. “it’s just me.” todd looks at you with an expression you can’t quite place; bewilderment, perhaps. “what?”

“nothing, it’s just that you say ‘just you’ as if you aren’t one of the coolest people i know, if not the coolest.” he snickers as if it’s a dumb joke that only he himself would understand. 

“you think i’m cool?” you ask genuinely. todd looks at you like that again, like he can’t comprehend of a world where you don’t see yourself the way he does. he wants to tell you all this, wants to tell you that ever since that autumn day when knox and chris introduced you to him, his poems have been incapable of being about anything else.

he settles for a simple “yeah”. 

for a moment your eyes linger on him, the way his copper hair falls in his eyes as he hunches over a copy of ‘leaves of grass’. his brows furrow in concentration as he searches for the passage you need help with. you can’t help but get a bit distracted by the way he looks in the warm lamplight of the dorm, the cute little smile that forms on his face now and then as he reads a quote he deeply enjoys.

“thank you for helping me, by the way.” you blurt out, growing more anxious by the minute. “i’m just so dense when it comes to poetry.”

“please don’t thank me.” he chuckles bashfully. “it’s my pleasure. and you’re not dense. you’re actually really smart. poetry, it’s just about seeing what other people don’t. it’s about looking a little harder till you finally see it. then it all clicks.”

“and what exactly is it that i’m supposed to see?” you ask.

“i don’t know yet.” he says with a soft smile, and suddenly it feels like he’s speaking a different language. a language just for the two of you. “i don’t know how or when, but you will.”

[masivechaos]

truth or dare!

── ☆ neil perry x gn! reader

Request: yes / no

Synopsis: neil asks you to go to a dead poets society meeting with him but a game reveals secrets...

Warning/content: little mention of drinking, my english

a.n.: 1k words-

masterlist / dead poets society masterlist / navigation / taglist

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.──

When Neil asked you to join his friends for the night, you didn’t think of this. You had met him during a theatre rehearsal and quickly got along. And tonight you were finally meeting his friends.

You thought of a party or something, not a… meeting in a cave?

You weren’t complaining though, his friends were sweet and the mood was light and fun. The boys read poems and Neil insisted that you had to read one, too. So you grabbed the copy in his hands and browsed through the pages before finally picking one.

“So… I just read it?” you asked, not really knowing if anything else was needed to do.

Neil offered you an encouraging smile, “Yeah,” he said “Just go for it.���

You cleared your throat “Shapes and Signs,” you announced, eyes darting in the room to watch everyone’s reaction.

“I see black dragons mount the sky,

I see earth yawn beneath my feet —

I feel within the asp, the worm

That will not sleep and cannot die,

Fair though may show the winding-sheet!”

You finished reading the poem and the boys clapped and cheered “See? Wasn’t so bad” Neil grinned.

“Neil’s new friend’s a real poet,” Charlie teased and you rolled your eyes.

You watched, amused, as the whole group started to talk and tease each other. This went on for a little while until Charlie got up. The bottle of alcohol you had brought (which was already open because you stole it from your parents) was empty and in his hands.

“Now… We’re going to do something a little different…”

You all looked at him, intrigued “What?” Knox asked.

Charlie placed the bottle in the centre of the circle the whole group formed, “Truth or dare,” he grinned. You could hear some of the boys groaning in annoyance or whining but Neil chuckled by your side.

Charlie spun the bottle, it landed on Todd. “Truth or dare?” Charlie asked with a smirk

“Uhm… truth,” Todd mumbled.

“Have you had your first kiss yet?” Todd’s cheek turned red, and he shook his head “Alright, alright,” Charlie chuckled. Todd spun the bottle and the game kept going.

After a few rounds and weird imitations, the bottle landed on you. It had landed on Charlie the turn before so he was the one asking “Truth or dare?” he asked mischievously.

You thought about it for a moment, most had chosen truth and you wanted to play “Dare”

Charlie smirked and his eyes flickered quickly to Neil before finding you again “I dare you… to kiss the hottest person in the room.”

You stared at him without saying anything, your lips slightly parted and your cheeks warm. You heard the boys whispering and a ‘oooh’ from Meeks. “Uhm… alright,” you said.

You took a deep breath and turned to your left so you could face Neil. You slowly leaned in and pressed your mouth to his. The cave was now filled with cheers and ‘wooh ooh” from the boys. It was nice kissing him, his lips were soft and smooth and you didn’t really want to stop.

 Neil’s cheeks were red when you pulled away– a second too late to pretend you didn’t like it. You looked away, breath heavy, you were still flustered and so was he.

After a minute, the noise calmed down and they went back to playing. But you couldn’t look at Neil anymore, too shy now. Eventually, it got late. The cave wasn’t really far from Welton but you still had to bike home after reaching their school. “I might have to go now,” you announced.

Everyone said goodbye and you put a foot outside, turning your torchlight on. As you started to walk you felt a hand on your shoulder “Wait-”

It was Neil, with his soft smile you wished you could kiss again “I can walk you back so you don’t get lost,” he said as he walked by your side.

“O-oh,” you smiled “Okay.”

You both were silent the entire time, both of your mind preoccupied by the kiss. It was supposed to be a simple, meaningless kiss. But no, you wanted more.

When you reached Welton, your bike waiting against a wall, you turned around “Well… I guess that’s where we split up,” you said.

“I guess, yeah,” he smiled. He watched you as you got on your bike. He had to say something before you left. “Hey I just…”

You glanced at him, head tilted, you waited for him to say more. Even in the faint light from the torchlight you could still see the crimson shade of his cheeks.

He let out a long exhale “For earlier. I mean… the kiss. You… You really thought I was the hottest guy in the cave?”

You chuckled, not expecting this “Well yeah of course, Neil”

Neil’s smile widened “Okay, good.” You could see he was a little nervous “Maybe I’m reading things wrong but… I… I think to me the kiss meant more than just a truth or dare. I mean… I like you and yeah…”

Your heart was about to explode. No way. “I… really?”

“Yes,” he smiled “really.”

You grinned “Well… I like you, too,” you said “And I guess… I kinda want to kiss you again.”

Neil stepped closer “You do?”

“Mmh hmm,” you smiled, you leaned in and your lips brushed his.

You kissed again, but this time it was just the two of you, no cheers for anyone, no boys to watch you amused. You rested your hand on his cheek as you slowly deepened the kiss. His hand got tangled in your hair.

“I could definitely get used to this. Yeah we should do it again,” he said when he pulled away

Your lips tugged into a smirk “Is that a truth or a dare?”

“Both,” he said before kissing you again.

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.──

⋆ ★ neil perry taglist: @cauliflowertree @moonlitmeeks @toindeedbeag0d @meredarling @juneberrie @mystic-writings @natashxromanovf @goodoldfashionedluvergirl @spookydarkwitch @duxpuella @imshiningjustforyou @vancitycharlie @venussflytraps @diorgirl444 @dori-and-gray @maddipoof @starlit-epiphany

[rosabeetroot]

You can tell a lot about a person from there marauders kinnie

who do you Kin

[imgondeletedis]

since this is like the saddest song on the album imo might as well start writing a fic (one shot) inspired by it because i love being tortured.

[dreamsofjanuary]

Hii! Can i request some Dating Headcanons with Neil Perry? Maybe some that reader is latina? If you don’t how to do it, it’s fine! Thank youuu🫶🏼🫶🏼 hope you are having a great day!

dating neil perry

warnings: none!

note: i didn’t make the reader explicitly latina, purely because as a white person i don’t think i’d be able to capture writing from another race’s pov accurately, and it would feel wrong to impersonate another race like that. i’m sure there are plenty of other latina writers that would love to do your request justice, though! also this is kind of all over the place, i’m sorry 😭

- okay we all know that neil is fairly confident, but when it comes to you??

- he gets so shy

- like. blushing and awkward laughing around you level shy.

- he stays up at night trying to figure out how to ask you out

- the poets have tried multiple times to help him out, but he’s hopeless - which none of them really expected in truth

- they all seem to turn into kids again, physically pushing him towards you whenever they see you, or teasing you just enough so that your interest is piqued, but not enough so that you know that neil has a crush on you

- even mr keating had noticed that neil was distracted, and accurately put it down to teenage romance

- when he finally does ask you out, it’s only because he talked it out so much with charlie

- of course, he’s a gentleman, but he also doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it in case he gets rejected

- so, at a dinner party one evening, he manages to get you alone, and asks if you’d let him take you to a restaurant that weekend

- of course you say yes

- because why wouldn’t you

- since then, going to restaurants has been a bi-weekly thing for the both of you

- despite your best efforts, he ALWAYS pays

- he loves to see you all dressed up

- and the vision of him in a suit isn’t exactly something you complain about either

- after dating for a few weeks, you finally pluck up the courage to attend one of the society’s meetings

- you were nervous at first, worried that you weren’t as well read as the boys were

- neil reassured you that you were definitely intelligent enough to be there - “not that intelligence matters all that much, we’ve got charlie”

- you often write poetry for each other, and you keep all of the ones you’d been given in a drawer in your bedroom

- he has to be a little more discreet, so keeps all of the ones you’d given him in an envelope in his wardrobe

- he reads at least one every night

- todd is beyond tired of hearing about you

- this poor boy had to listen to neil ramble about you for months before he even had the courage to ask you out

- but now that you’re officially dating? neil never shuts up about you

- neil’s love language is quality time, so he’s always trying to find excuses to be with you

- definitely clingy - when one of you has to leave the other, he gets genuinely sad

- even if you’re going to see each other the next day

- also LOVES to see you in his clothes

- especially his jumpers

- he loves how they fit you, and how it’s a subtle signal that you’re his

- he doesn’t get jealous super easily, but he absolutely hates people staring at you

- even if you don’t mind, he’ll always wrap an arm around you or hold your hand to show them that you’re very much not single

- there have been occasions where he’s interrupted conversations being slightly more affectionate than usual - a clear sign that he’s jealous or insecure and will need reassuring later

- which ofc, you’re more than happy to do

- he always makes it look casual tho - he’s never dramatic or passive-aggressive about it

- neil is actually very insecure and needs a lot of reassurance - something that surprised you at first due to his joyful personality

- he’s also an amazing listener

- he’ll always let you vent to him, no matter what it’s about

- he’s sympathetic about everything you tell him, but especially if you don’t get along with your parents

- he knows how badly it can hurt, and he hates that you have to go through that

- on the other hand tho, he never loves you more than when you’re rambling on about something you’re interested in

- he loves how excited you get, how your eyes seem to light up

- even if he has no interest in the topic, he adores listening to you talk about it

- to conclude, neil is the best boyfriend ever and i love him so much xoxoxo

[kay101kim]

dating neil perry <3 (latine version)

warning(s): none:)

pair: neil perry x gn!reader

one shot or hc: hc

note: i got the idea from this post, so thank you so much!! im mexican so it might seem like i mention mexican culture more like music and food (its what i know!), but i do try my best to be inclusive since latin america has such rich history. this is me trying to write within the time period of the 50s/60s <3. let me know if you wish a more modern version, enjoy!

-neil is a love at first sight kind of guy, he literally saw you laughing all giggly and couldn't stop smiling himself

-your friends teased you by singing piel canela by los panchos, "me importas tú, y tú, y tú, y solamente tú~"

-and as you kept laughing, all red, neil finally got the courage from his friends even though his heart was all smushed by your angelic smile

-when he was finally determined to ask you on a date, that man was calm, cool, and collected which made you even more nervous as he approached your friends and you

-he'd give you those puppy dog eyes and you'd immediately melt before a word is even said

-once neil asks you out, it seems a crowd cheers somewhere beyond and neil can only chuckle sheepishly at his friends' reactions

-you guys begin dating and neil finds your culture fascinating! (in a good way lol)

-he'd want to know all the holidays, celebrate with you, to hell with his dad and his rules (he loves you too much <3)

-when he experienced latin music for the first time he would never go back

-he'd buy so many vinyls from different genres and constantly ask you to slow dance in the living room like the love birds you two are

-neil is the type to slowly get into the groove of things to dance cumbia, bachata, salsa

-oh but he will learn and surprise your whole family! it makes you kinda jealous when your primos are there watching him

-but he reminds them of you by giving you a kiss

-you'd hum some songs and be very surprised when he comes along singing the lyrics (maybe not perfect, but it’s so cute)

-it made you realize just how much he is trying to understand you who are, your language, which is so important to you

-you call him 'mi amor' (my love) and he would always ask what that means but you didn't want to say

-it basically means you love him and that was scary

-but imagine him singing cien años by pedro infante? it'd be the first time you'd say 'i love you'

-he alternatively says i love you and te amo because he loves you sooooo! much

-you'd giggle and say "yo tambien te amo, mi amor"

-he would always have cute nicknames like 'my darling' or 'my angel' but then he started using 'cariño'

-only when you two were alone because he was afraid his pronunciation wasn't too well

-you have no idea who he learned it from, but it made you tear up the first time you heard it from him

-his favorite part about being with you is the food, like at one point he'd just be like 'fuck it!' and make tamales with all the women

-his favorite desert is arroz con leche because i said so!

-he can’t handle spicy food, im sorry yall but i have to be accurate, the white genes </3

-curse words/phrases in spanish? he would know them all because your primos would tell him to say [x] and he'd do it without question lmaoo

-obviously you would not stop it because its kinda hilarious, but you would eventually inform him on what the words/phrases mean

-overall he'd get along with your family like they might call him 'guerrito' but he wouldn't mind

-neil would be surprised by the amount of spanish covers from english songs and vice versa, but it really opened his eyes to a new world

-he loves you, your culture, language, food, music, and everything else that comes with it

-sure, sometimes he doesn't understand what you're saying but he makes sure to study real hard and eventually become fluent in spanish

-his favorite part is when you sing to him (or listening to a song), something soft like cielito lindo :( and you watch him fall asleep as you stroke his hair

-neil perry is the best boyfriend fr <3

[moonlitmeeks]

Bee my beloved, your post about vampire Eddie on this Sugar n' Spice Saturday has turned my mind to several spooky thoughts, the first of which being... Steven Meeks finding out his S/O is a witch?? 🖤🖤🖤

raven my angel!!! thank you sm for this request,, im always here for supernatural!readers!!!

i think steven would be a mystified by your revelation, treading the line between being calm or springing a million questions onto you. you tell him so nonchalantly, he thinks he’s misheard you at first, until he urges you to repeat yourself and he realises his initial assumption was correct.

“so, what can you do?” he asks, lips pursed slightly as he pushes his glasses further up his nose bridge in intrigue. “do you uh,” he chuckles softly, “cast spells, or..?”

you chuckle at how eager he is to learn, and begin to delve into everything you can, making it easier for him to digest and understand. meeks thinks its the coolest shit ever, and cant stop the wide grin that tugs at his lips.

[evis-gossip]

I have something to offer you

The first thing you have to know about me, is that I’m obsessed with language. I speak spanish as a native language and english as second. Ever since I was a child I’ve always been fascinated by written and spoken language structure, rules, grammar and such. One of my life dreams is being a writer and /or editor. I did first year of Translation and Interpreting, with this same idea. All this to say I notice typos 99% of the time. I, uncociusly, pay an unheathy amout of attention to it when I read fanfiction, and, as an ocasional writer myself, I know that mistakes happen. We’re all humans. So that’s why I’ve decided to make up this offer, to beta read (and correct if you wish so) your fanfictions.

Mostly I read Spencer Reid (Criminal minds), Bucky Barnes (MCU) and Todd Anderson (Dead Poets Society), and occasionally Wanda Maximoff or M’Baku (MCU). I only read self insert, but i don’t mind veering off or doing other characters within those fandoms.

Edit: if anyone’s interested, my massages are open ;)

After everything I just said, just hope at least one person takes up my offer. Have a great day:). Lots of love <333

(a lil gif as my gift for u)

[dovesdreaming]

Hi, Dove! Could you, please, write some Todd Anderson fluff? ♥ Maybe something about sunshine!female reader, she's also kinda shy, but not quite like Todd. She's really academically gifted, writes poems, but is unsure of herself. They know each other from school, but have never really spoken before, and then they accidentally run into each other during free period at the woods (where they like to spend some time alone and just read or write) and they bond.

It doesn't have to be about this, just any Todd fluff would be great! There is not enough dps content out here

𖤓She’s like being bathed in sunlight𖤓

I LOVED THIS REQUEST!!!! it was perfect. I loved Todd so much and I find him so relatable. This type of reader is my favourite to write aswell!!! Please send more Dps requests people I love them! Hope you enjoy <3

Note: Thank you so much for 100 followers ♥️😘🥰

Word count: 1k

Warnings: none

Welton had recently allowed girls to attend and your parents being the stuck up people they are, wanted their daughter to attend the best school possible. It hadn’t been so bad, you had made a few friends with the other girls who had started attending and some of the boys who you found the most tolerable. You found making friends hard at the best of times but being somewhere like Welton made it that much harder.

You found your favourite lesson to be English and it wasn’t necessarily because of the subject but more so the teacher. Mr keating managed to make even the most boring parts of the curriculum exciting. Before him you found poetry to be a wasted subject on yourself yet mr keating had turned you into a poet. He brought the writer out of you and showed you just how fun it could be. A subject you used to hate had turned into a hobby of yours, you found yourself writing down poetry and inspiration for poems all the time. Your poems had recently taken a more romantic turn as you had found a muse.

It started when mr keating drew the whole classes attention to a boy who sat in the top corner of the class, usually just out of sight from you, blocked by many students heads. He had encouraged the boy to read aloud a poem from the top of his head. You had never taken note of him before yet him and his poem entranced you. It tugged a core deep inside you that ‘the truth is a blanket that always left your feet cold’. He became the subject from all your poems then on. You always kept your feelings to your self in your notebook, never being sure of yourself enough to ever act on your feelings.

You didn’t know much about him apart from that he hung out with Neil, someone you spoke to occasionally to compare homework answers with. You wrote about how he made you feel. Your favourite spot to write poetry was just on the outskirts of the woods. There was a big willow tree back from the edge of the lake that provided shelter from direct sun yet still allowed it to feel like a summers day. You sat down in your usual spot and let your eyes rest on the moving water to think of your next poem.

Unbeknownst to you todd had knew about you since your first day of attendance. How could he not notice you, you were like a sunray leaving warmth and happiness everywhere you went. He admired you from afar and noticed how many people were attracted to your presence like people wanted to bathe in your light. What really caught his eye though was your smile. He had never seen one as bright and beautiful as yours.

His friends had quickly caught on to his gazing at you and they teased him relentlessly. They made sure to encourage him to speak to you aswell but Todd could never do that. He couldn’t, you were well.. you. You would never go for someone like him. So instead he wrote his feelings into his notebook and carried it everywhere for when inspiration may strike.

His favourite spot to write poetry was down by the lake. There was a tree on the edge of the wood line just set back from the water. He found no one disturbed him there and he could let his mind wander.

Today was like any other Saturday for you. You were heading down to your spot to write some poetry yet when you wandered towards the tree you noticed a figure already sitting in your spot. You froze with slight shock, no one ever came down here. You slowly stepped towards the tree, curious as to who had found your spot. You found no other than your muse. You stepped backwards to try and turn away before he could see you, you weren’t ready to face him yet. However you stepped on a branch which made quite a loud crack for its size. You cursed whoever wasn’t on your side today as you knew todd was now looking at you. You quickly threw on your best smile and reapproached him, trying to ignore how fast your heart was beating and how your palms clammed up. He looked like a deer caught in headlights which slightly calmed your nerves, you didn’t want him to feel like that around you. To try and calm both your nerves you tried to break the tension that built by greeting him “I hope I’m not interrupting the sweaty toothed madman’s writing but this is usually where I write as well. Do you mind if I join you?”. You regretted your attempt at humour and cringed internally yet Todd didn’t seem to notice still a bit frozen in place, he just about mustered a nod and with that you tentatively sat down next to him. For awhile you sat together in silence until you turned to him with a rush of adrenaline to try to get to know him. He was hesitant to talk and mumbled and tripped over his words but you were patient and never interrupted him. You listened to everything he had to say and Todd was grateful for it even if he couldn’t say it out loud. You spoke about poems and your favourite poets. You enjoyed his company and he enjoyed yours, he could feel himself relaxing around you something that was rare for him to do at Welton. You parted ways when it grew darker and he found himself craving your presence. You both longed to see each other again yet didn’t know if it would ever occur again, both still too afraid to make the move.

However when the next Saturday rolled around and you approached your spot again to find a figure already there you knew you wouldn’t ever have to worry about missing Todd’s presence again.

Yet as many Saturdays passed and you grew closer, neither of you realised the love you both shared for each other. As you both sat under the tree writing poetry about your muses who were sat right next to each other, you both remained clueless and would do for many more Saturdays until you finally read your poetry aloud to each other and discovered many similarities in the muses of the poems.

Thank you for reading! <3

[astonmartinii]

i love him, it's ruining my life [guilty as sin part one] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

a contract ends, a relationship is exposed and even with everything on the line, she still loves him.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 621,099 others

yourusername: out and about town

view all comments

user1: girl? girl? GIRL?

user2: carlos' career is DEAD AND SHE'S POSTING VACATION PICS ON INSTAGRAM

user3: at least they're cute instagram pics

landonorris: y/n i think it's time you finally take that phone off of do not disturb

yourusername: but that's the perpetual state of my phone i am a poet i was born to be in the woods, if you have news tell me now before i close this app in 20 seconds

landonorris: i don't want to air your brother's business out in a public instagram comments literally just scroll through your timeline idiot

yourusername: wait let me open the family group chat

yourusername: WHAT

user4: are we about to see her reaction to carlos losing his seat in real time?

user5: let me grab my popcorn one sec

yourusername: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?

landonorris: take your phone off DND for once in your life and maybe you’d be clued in on the news

charles_leclerc: and while you’re at it reply to all the tiktoks i sent you

landonorris: not the time leclerc

charles_leclerc: but but but my tiktoks… i finally got a tarot card reading that resonates

landonorris: NOT THE TIME

charles_leclerc: don’t hate the player hate the game

carlossainz55: really?

charles_leclerc: i am TALKING ABOUT TIKTOKS LEAVE ME ALONE

yourusername: this is a lot - gosh can’t a girl go on holiday without everything imploding (i'll check the tiktoks in a second)

user6: anyone kinda weirded out that charles is just here joking with y/n as if his teammate and her brother hasn’t just been forced out of a job?

liked by carlossainz55

user7: babe he wasn’t forced out of a job, his contract wasn’t renewed. the last time i checked this was a sport where they compete not sit around and sit kumbaya

liked by charles_leclerc

user8: oh! they’re both liking shady comments already, it’s been a day since the announcement

user9: this is gonna get ugly isn’t it?

user10: awful, truly. i’m sat.

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,029,458 others

carlossainz55: love all, trust a few and do wrong to none

view all comments

user11: .... right, what ever the fuck that means?

user12: i mean i was just here to celebrate the win what is all this poetry

user11: are we shading charles? lewis? ferrari?

yourusername: shakespeare, really?

carlossainz55: i can read you know

yourusername: oh really, that's news to me

user13: erm you guys i thought the whole job loss thing was meant to bring the family together....

user14: they joke like this all the time this is just sibling banter

user15: idk it's reading a lil more tense than usual, not that there's any reason for that (that we know of)

charles_leclerc: doing the tifosi proud ❤️

carlossainz55: will do while i can

user16: yall .... what happened to the chemistry

user17: they were never friends - pierre tried to tell yall

landonorris: a carlando podium !!! lets do this every week

carlossainz55: golf buddies and podium buddies - you love to see it

landonorris: LETS GO WILD AND PUT IT ON FERRARIS TAB THEY OWE YOU

landonorris: i mean let's celebrate your triumph good pal!

user18: the PR monster got lando :( rip

carlossainz55: just being able to win in front of the most important people in my life is enough

user19: does anyone else think it was weird that y/n wasn't at the race?

user20: like y/n loves australia she litr says that she was an aussie in a past life...

user21: also the most recent carlos comment... is y/n not one of the most important people in his life?

user22: do we think something has happened? like maybe he thought she should've cut her holiday short to come home to support him?

user23: also the fact that her and charles were immediately like joking around with each other? maybe it just rubbed him the wrong way

user24: but not even considering her an important person to him? and also that just seems like he's shifting all the blame to charles when it's ferrari who haven't extended the contract

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 892,309 others

tagged: kellypiquet & yourusername

maxverstappen1: she says she's a professional third wheel, i call that being a LEECH

view all comments

user29: unlikely trio but somehow my favourite

user30: y/n really be their overgrown child

yourusername: how am i the leech when i paid for the ice cream mr millionaire 🤨

maxverstappen1: ever thought about how i want to spend quality time with my girlfriend?

yourusername: won't someone think of the children

maxverstappen1: ur 23

yourusername: that's it! p and i are unionising against this if you find suspiciously well drawn crayon graffiti on your walls it was NOT me

maxverstappen1: don't threaten my walls if you still want to come to races

yourusername: low blow 😩

user31: does that mean... she's not going to races with carlos?

user32: she's always been in his garage tho like even with how close her and max have always been SHE'S ALWAYS IN GARAGE 55

user33: i feel like this has something to do with the whole seat situation i'm not sure how but like i think there's something weird going on here

kellypiquet: don't worry @yourusername it might be max's house but it's p that has the final say

yourusername: no one gets bluey like i do

maxverstappen1: yeah but while you're here you get the best seat at the tea party IT'S NOT FAIR

yourusername: well one of us can name all the disney princesses and one of us can't

user34: so.... y/n is living with max? but i thought her and carlos shared an apartment in madrid?

user35: guys i'm so confused

user36: we need the twitter detectives on this asap

charles_leclerc: no lec... when i specifically sent you a PR bundle, you hate to see it

maxverstappen1: you only sent that to us for y/n

charles_leclerc: maybe! but i have it on good authority that you loved the vanilla

maxverstappen1: ummmmmmm no i'm a professional athlete, y/n ate all of it

yourusernames: FALSEHOODS

charles_leclerc: i know who i believe

maxverstappen1: why is everyone ganging up on me in this comment section

user37: charles sending lec to max's house just for y/n WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN

user38: and does it have anything to do with carlos maybe kicking her out

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 673,892 others

yourusername: gotta make sure i give p a reason to tell me stick around

view all comments

user39: charles is always in the likes before me and i have notifications on

user40: they seem like such close friends it's so annoying that they're never spotted together at a race and we have no pictures of them :(

charles_leclerc: why do i never get any baked goods i literally sent my ice cream to my arch rivals house just for you

yourusername: you're never in the fucking country that's why

charles_leclerc: i have this kind of demanding job i don't know if you knew

yourusername: i also have the demanding job of being sexy and i cope just fine

charles_leclerc: i heard you got employee of the year, hard to be too upset when you're the competition

yourusername: better luck next time babe

user41: openly flirting with the guy that caused her brother to lose his job, this girl is just shameless

yourusername: do you think charles is the literal ceo of ferrari?

user42: why are you defending charles more than your actual brother?

yourusername: i feel like i gotta make this statement every three buisness days on here but like you people don't know what happens in our personal lives and i can defend my friends if i feel they're being unnecessarily questioned

user43: queen snapped omg

user38: they always be out here trying her like she's not a writer and poet SHE WILL READ YOU FOR FILTH

maxverstappen1: pretty sure she'd replace you with me in like two seconds so you're safe until [redacted] gets home

yourusername: i'm pretty sure with the right campaign i could sway jimmy and sassy to my side as well

user44: who the FUCK IS REDACTED

maxverstappen1: wouldn't you like to know 🤨

yourusername: max ???

maxverstappen1: what? i didn't have friends growing up i like that you tell me secrets

yourusername: oh :(

maxverstappen1: you wanna tell me more?

yourusername: NO YOU ALREADY KNOW THE BIGGEST ONE

maxverstappen1: true 💅🏻

user45: so like the secret is defo a relationship right?

user46: do we think carlos knows?

user47: by the fact that he's not in these comments... probably not

user48: so like he looses his seat and finds out his sister is in a secret relationship? someone give the guy a break

user49: or maybe, just maybe, there's a reason that y/n hasn't told carlos and he's not the guy we all think he is

liked by charles_leclerc

user50: OH? this war is so on ....

f1teaspill

liked by user51, user52 and 31,845 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

f1teaspill: the war at ferrari is heating up... turns out there's a lot carlos didn't know and FOR YEARS. yes, you're reading that right, y/n sainz and charles leclerc have been in a relationship for at least two years and believe us we have a VERY credible source like WITHIN THE FAMILY level source.

the most important thing about this whole relationship is how carlos did not know for years, so how much more was hidden from him? did y/n know about the seat swap for lewis? was she leaking strategies to charles? was she sabotaging her own brother?

view all comments

user53: OH SHITTTTTTTTTT

user54: cancel me if you will but i think the hottest couple in f1 just dropped

user55: the fact we've been robbed of content of them for years .... i'm angry I NEED THE POETRY ABOUT CHARLES

user56: i'm gonna need y/n or charles to drop all the pics in response

user57: y'all a source "within the family"? did these fools find out about y/n's relationship and immediately run to an f1 TEA PAGE???

user58: that's some goofy ass shit

user59: i find it funny that instead of sitting down and thinking about why their daughter/sister didn't feel comfortable enough to tell you about her relationship they're like i know EXACTLY who needs to hear this

user60: the way it's proved her completely right to not tell them

user61: do you guys think this is like a tv show or like fan fiction? in what world is y/n sharing strategies to fuck over her own BROTHER?

user62: also be for fucking real... strategies? ferrari? at least try and be realistic

user63: also.... walk with me .... why would y/n and charles conspire to put lewis hamilton in carlos' seat? LEWIS FUCKING HAMILTON AND SEVEN TIME WORLD CHAMPION? WHY WOULD CHARLES WANT TO TAKE HIM ON OVER A GUY HE'S ALREADY BEATEN TWICE

user64: see this is the point! sainz camp you can try and demonise charles and yOUR OWN DAUGHTER all you want but we all know it's bull shit

user65: one thing about this that really rubs me the wrong way is that the sainz camp clearly expected that if y/n was in a relationship with charles that she would've been a double agent for carlos? and because she's not fucking insane they're now going for character assassination of their own SISTER/DAUGHTER

user66: THIS THIS THIS

user67: carlos won't even consider y/n an "important" person in his life but expect her to sacrifice or exploit her relationship for cheap psychological points

user68: also y/n isn't even at most races so how is she getting carlos' strategies to give to charles? this shit doesn't make any sense

user69: carlos himself has said in an interview that y/n is useless when it comes to racing that she's just a supportive figure rather than someone who has any in depth racing knowledge

user70: this is insane level hating with all the evidence out here... and against your own family...

user71: this just makes me think that y/n wasn't in australia for a reason - like was she banned from carlos' garage

user72: and the fact she's been staying at max's it just makes me think that y/n was kicked out of her and carlos' apartment

user73: now tHATS INSANE

espnf1

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 1,025,788 others

tagged: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc & yourusername

espnf1: well... this could be awkward

view all comments

user77: espn babe you're just like me

user78: *slides $5 across the bar* get a camera in the ferrari garage?

espnf1: we're working on it 😩

user79: pierre and max here... they really are the paddock gossip girls

maxverstappen1: i guess carlos couldn't handle that i knew who redacted was before him 🤷🏻‍♂️

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: don't put your sister on the streets and i won't dunk these jokes on your head

user80: is this like the official f1 civil war?

carlossainz55: you don't know anything max, i'd really keep your nose out of our business

maxverstappen1: i actually know exactly how you guys move, you tried it on 17 year old me and it becomes my business when my best friend calls me with no where else to go (also i know you changed the locks while you were in maranello so she wouldn't be able to go to charles, you're not slick)

carlossainz55: i never took you as a lap dog max

yourusername: calling him the lap dog when you're the biggest bitch on the grid - bold

carlossainz55: you're burning a lot of bridges for a talentless slut who had to start fucking my teammate when we cut you off

yourusername: keep throwing your PR to the fire and see who fucking hires you, i guess we'll both be unemployed bums

user80: also imagine calling her talentless like she isn't a well established poet LOL

user81: guys this is getting so bad so quickly

user82: we got the whole rest of the season of this

user83: mad respect to max for sticking up for his bestie

user84: and her actual boyfriend isn't?

yourusername: charles will do his talking on the track like he always does. he won't debase himself with bickering in instagram comments, funnily enough ferrari don't like that - might be the reason he still has a seat and someone doesn't

carlossainz55: or he's a pussy who has his woman talk for him

yourusername: at least he has a woman to talk for him, he doesn't behind his dad at any sign of trouble. i've always known i didn't matter to dad the moment i wasn't a boy but i'm not afraid of him or you and i know exactly how you work. good luck

user85: do they know we can all read this?

user86: when i'm in an oversharing contest and the sainz siblings walk in

user87: those ferrari debriefs are gonna be AWKWARD

yourusername: especially since he doesn't have binotto to hide behind any more

user88: girl you good?

yourusername: i've never been better, this has been building for years even before charles and i got together

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 908,487 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: i love you, it's ruining my life

view all comments

user89: y/n i'm gonna let you finish but we could really get the best poetry out of all of this

user90: for real like yeah i'm sorry your brother tried to make you homeless, exposed your relationship, accused you of treason and called you a talentless slut - but think of the poetry!

charles_leclerc: i love you and i hope you're okay

yourusername: i'll always be okay with you

charles_leclerc: it's out now and no one can take us away from each other

charles_leclerc: i'd actually love to see them try

yourusername: i'd go through this fortnight of hell over and over again if it meant i'd still keep you

charles_leclerc: i'd like to say this is the end of it but i think we're in for the long run now

yourusername: i'm prepared to go to war for you

charles_leclerc: there's no one i'd rather be on the front lines with

user91: oh brother... YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A POET WE GET IT

charles_leclerc: * in love with

user91: oh my bad

charles_leclerc: no worries

user91: STILL GROSS BRO

liked by maxverstappen1

charles_leclerc: max ???

maxverstappen1: you guys need to calm down cause i'm not good with words and kelly is gonna start scrutinising my cards and i DO NOT HAVE THE VOCABULARY FOR IT

yourusername: lol

maxverstappen1: lol? LOL? did our brief yet forced stint as roommates mean nothing?

yourusername: fine i'll ghostwrite your valentines cards

user92: so this is all a bit melodramatic

user93: he CHANGED THE LOCKS BRO SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE MELODRAMATIC

liked by charles_leclerc

user94: okay so now we're in full blown f1 civil war - who is on each side?

user95: well max and pierre are on charles' side. i'd also add in lewis, seb, oscar, esteban, george, alex, yuki and daniel

user96: so carlos has lando and fernando?

fernandoalo_oficial: it might not be blood but that's my daughter

user96: ????

user97: did he just show up to diss carlos and then refuse to elaborate?

user98: sounds like a nando thing to do .... also just leaves carlos with lando lol

user99: this feels a bit unfair

yourusername: all is fair in love and poetry

fin.

note: so as soon as i had this idea (litr TTPD release day) i have been so busy and WHACKED with the worst writer's block but i hope this is a good start and rest assured knowing the beef will only get worse... I LOVE DRAMA

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: @aadu2173 @rhythmstars @kqliie @booksandflowrs @2bormaybenot @firelily-mimi @evie-119

[mrs-kmikaelson]

Our Song and Dance³

Pairing: Finnick Odair x reader Summary: You'd grown used to dancing the same dance over and over again, the victor's dance, but then you start dancing with Finnick Odair and you feel things you never thought you'd feel. So you let yourself enjoy the dance, even though you knew that every song inevitably came to an end. Warnings: long, exploitation of minors, mentions of forced prostitution, suicidal thoughts, implied torture, violence, complicated relationships, complex mental health issues, and i involve finnick more in everything Words: 8.1K

Masterlist | Part 4

a/n: switching it up, so this part is from finnick's pov. it's basically mockingjay one, then i'll do one more part for mockingjay 2. ly guys!

Finnick Odair was not sure that love existed. Or, at least he wasn’t. He could barely remember what his parents looked like, let alone if they loved each other. But he had Mags; she proved to him that love existed because he loved her. It was the falling in love that he was unsure about.

And then he met Annie Cresta and it was like he suddenly understood. Yes, this was what the poets were talking about. This was love. 

But they couldn’t be together.

He was being sold off all the time, taking countless visits to the Capitol. He couldn’t endanger her like that, let her get involved in the fucked up world he lived in. So he didn’t. He loved her from afar, knowing they’d never really be together.

He thought it’d end there, but then one night, he saw you. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was all his own will, but he walked up to you. He’d seen you at these events before, back home, and on TV, but standing there so close to you, it was like it was just hitting him how beautiful you were.

You were a victor, too. But he realized just how alike you were when he watched as you left a hotel room, in the same state as him. After that, it was you who took a chance on him until he almost looked forward to coming to the Capitol, just to see you.

You weren’t Annie. You didn’t remind him of what poets had written. No, he couldn’t describe you or what you meant to him in just words. What he grew to feel for you over time wasn’t akin to anything he’d ever read. This was so much more than that.

He loved Annie, he always would, but being with you made him realize what it was like to be in love.

But he never told you this, never said any of it out loud out of fear that he’d lose you.

Now he lost you, anyway.

The doors to his hospital room opened. He knew it was Katniss, but he didn’t say anything, staring right at the ground in front of him.

If he looked hard enough, he could see your face.

“Finnick.”

He looked up from his feet, but still didn’t look at her. He already knew what she looked like, and it wasn’t much better than him.

She was mad at him. She’d barely spoken to him since they got to 13, but he knew that she couldn’t have been much more mad at him than he already was at himself.

His voice was quiet when he spoke. “I wanted to go back for them—for Peeta, and Johanna, and Y/N… but I- I couldn’t move.” He twiddled his fingers with the rope in his hands, wishing it was your hand he was holding, but he wasn’t. You weren’t there. He left you.

He finally looked up at Katniss. She looked both emotionless and so emotional at the same time, lifeless but alive. “I- I love her, y’know?” He looked back down at the knot he was tying, sniffling involuntarily.

He was trying to keep it together, but without you, that was like trying to fix a broken glass without any glue. 

You were the glue that held him together.

And now the Capitol had you.

The words left his lips without much thought. “I wish she was dead.” He chose to stare at a spot on the ground instead of looking at Katniss’ reaction. His chest tightened. “I wish they were all dead and we were, too.”

If they had died, then at least they wouldn’t have been going through this, having to live but feeling so dead, anyway.

Katniss was silent until he eventually heard her leave the room.

There were words she didn’t say that still floated around the room, agreement that she didn’t voice. She was just as broken as him, holding on for dear life. He hoped that she’d keep holding on.

He had to have hope. He had to have hope that he’d see you again, that this wasn’t all for nothing, that they could build a better world that you could both live in. He needed to hope.

That hope was the only thing that kept him holding on, too.

He was in the cafeteria, sitting next to Katniss and Annie when it happened. The fanfare started playing, Caesar Flickerman’s face coming to the screen. He scoffed, tuning out and looking back down at the food on his plate, swishing it around. Recently, it had been hard for him to work up an appetite.

He looked back up when Katniss grabbed his hand, hers trembling. He soon realized why.

It was Peeta, on the Capitol TV.

Katniss got up, walking to the TV and standing right in front of it, shocked. He would’ve gotten up and followed her, tried to console her, but it was as if he was paralyzed.

Peeta was on the TV.

And you were nowhere in sight.

He heard the conversation that had everyone on the edge of their seat through muffled ears. Peeta didn’t look exactly like himself, but he still looked like the golden boy Panem fell in love with. It was so obvious that the Capitol was using him, playing him like a puppet, but what confused him was that they were using him and not the much more powerful weapon they had in their arsenal.

You were the Princess of Panem. Plutarch and Coin knew that; that’s why they wanted you. Katniss could light a fire, but if they also had you, then together you could cause an explosion. If the Capitol wanted to sway public opinion, why wouldn’t they just use you, someone who the people trusted and adored?

Suddenly, his stomach fell.

If they weren’t using you, then it was because you weren’t in a condition to be shown to the public.

He felt a hand on his, turning his head to see it was Annie, looking at him with a sympathetic expression. As if she could hear his thoughts, the smallest of sad smiles grew on her lips.  “It’s gonna be okay, Finnick,” she whispered. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

How the tables had turned. Now it was her assuring him.

In that moment, he understood Annie like never before.

Because he wasn’t so sure she was right.

After Peeta’s interview, Finnick didn’t leave his room much. He’d lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, pretending that you were there with him. He could withstand the silence if he had you by his side.

But now, the silence was deafening.

Sometimes, he didn’t hear a thing. Other times, your voice would fill the gaps, memories of you flashing before his eyes like a movie. Sometimes, they weren’t memories at all. Sometimes, he imagined a different life for you where you were both happy, in love.

And, sometimes, he imagined what they could’ve been doing to you in the Capitol.

Whenever these awake-nightmares got too vivid, he’d find Katniss and sit with her, knowing she must have been going through the same thing. It was what you would’ve done, what you did with him and Johanna.

You wouldn’t have wanted them to suffer alone.

The next time he was around everyone else, it was per Coin’s request. She announced to them all that Katniss agreed to be The Mockingjay and that, in return, she’d look for an opportunity to extract you, the victors that had been taken.

Katniss moved next to him. “Finnick, I made the deal for Y/N, too.”

It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Hope—this was hope.

“Good,” he said. For the first time since he left the arena, he smiled. “That’s good, Katniss.” A small chuckle left him.

Maybe he’d get a chance to make those dreams of his a reality.

With a newfound ardour, Finnick threw himself back into the ring instead of avoiding the fight like he had been, sitting in on meetings and doing whatever he could to make this work. He would see you again; he’d make sure of it. 

He went with the propo team to 8, watching as the Girl on Fire did exactly what they’d all been waiting for her to do. He wasn’t the only one that was hopeful—so were people in the districts, the people in 13.

They played her propo at the next assembly. The crowd cheered, but as he stood with The Mockingjay herself on the sidelines, she didn’t look so cheerful. Finnick understood this, he understood it well, but he couldn’t afford to think like that with your life hanging in the balance.

She shouldn’t have to either, he thought.

He leaned closer to her, quizzing, “You don’t like hearing a fight song at a funeral, huh?” She looked up at him almost in the same way she did when he made that joke in the arena. At the memory of your response, a small smile arose on his face. “The more people on our side, the closer we are to Peeta and Y/N,” he reminded her.

She nodded, muttering, “Yeah,” and then turning back to the crowd. She didn’t look so convinced, but he left it there, knowing she was coping with this in her own way.

If Katniss loved Peeta even half as much as he loved you, then he’d let her do whatever she felt comfortable with.

But at the end of the day, it was love that kept them both going.

The next time Peeta was on TV, it was a wake up call for everyone. He didn’t look so refined anymore, so clean. There were bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days.

If this was what Peeta looked like and they still had him on TV, then what about you? 

A bile rose in his throat. He ran to the nearest trash can and threw up whatever they served that morning for breakfast, your face flashing underneath his eyelids. You weren’t smiling like in the dreams he had, but screaming.

He knew you weren’t dead, that the Capitol wouldn’t kill you, but when he pictured your face, you didn’t look so alive.

Oh, he wished he could’ve made you smile more. But in the world you lived in, sometimes it was too hard to even do that.

That’s why we’re doing this, he reminded himself. We’re trying to build a better world. But there were no words that Coin could say to shake the guilt he felt, guilt for leaving you, guilt for being the reason this happened to you. There was no band-aid he could put over this wound, no pills that could kill this pain.

But he had to push through it, and he couldn’t do that by sitting in his room by himself; every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. So he went to Katniss’ room, finding her in a position so similar to his own.

That was the man she loved on TV, even if she hadn’t come to terms with her feelings. She must have been just as guilty as him, if not more so. Finnick could remember a time when he rejected his feelings for you, too, scared of caring for somebody, scared of this happening.

He went through the Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell, being sold when he was only sixteen, but falling in love with you was the scariest thing he’d ever experienced.

If that’s how Katniss felt, then he didn’t want her to be alone, not when she reminded him so much of you.

So he sat next to her in silence, letting all of the words he wanted to say hang in the air, hoping that she heard them. They sat there wordlessly until Gale came in, telling them it was time to go, that they were going to 12.

It was only when he was about to leave that he finally spoke, deciding that these were words he had to make sure that she heard, words that he needed to hear, too.

“We’re gonna get them back, Katniss.” 

She looked at him, forming somewhat of a smile and nodding. After staring at her for a few seconds, he left the room, going to get ready.

She didn’t know it, but the entire hovercraft ride on the way to 12, he repeated those same exact words to himself over and over again.

We’re gonna get them back.

While nothing could really ease Finnick’s worries, seeing the people fight back certainly helped. The revolution was picking up traction. The videos they shot in 12 had moved people so much that they were willing to put themselves at risk, just out of hope for a better Panem.

If they could do that, then he could, too.

He wondered if you knew about any of this, if you were even aware of what was happening or if the Capitol was just keeping you in the dark. Did you know? Did you hear Katniss sing?

Did it remind you of him the same way it reminded him of you?

He had so many questions, and so little answers.

Rebels in district 5 bombed a hydroelectric dam, cutting power in the Capitol. Not long after, Peeta Mellark was back on TV, talking about it. He no longer even looked like himself. He didn’t look like a victor, but like someone who had lost.

But Finnick supposed that was what a victor was.

Beetee managed to get through the Capitol’s firewall, cutting Peeta off with Katniss’ propo. They watched as tears filled his eyes on screen.

That was the first time he looked like himself.

Are you, are you comin’ to the tree?

He faltered. “Katniss?”

Finnick watched as Katniss got closer to the screen, shaking her head. She saw it, too. She saw the man that went into that arena with them.

But then, like a victor would, his mask went back up so quickly. 

“The attack on the dam was a callous and inhuman act of destruction-”

Where a dead man called out for his love to flee.

Peeta inhaled shakily, his lips so slightly quivering. “Think about it,” he said. “How will this end? What will be left?” Finnick walked closer to the screen, like he was caught in a trance. Peeta’s previously calm façade had broken and was replaced with someone who looked stricken by panic. “No one can survive this. No one is safe now. Not here in the Capitol.” He shook his head. “Not in any of the districts.” 

He stopped, looking right into the camera as if he was staring into Katniss’ eyes. He may not have known it, but he was.

“They’re coming, Katniss. They’re gonna kill everyone.” They heard quick footsteps behind the camera as Peeta rushed to get his words out. “And in district 13 you’ll be dead by morning-”

Then the camera cut out.

Finnick didn’t know what to say, glancing over at Katniss to see her cupping her mouth in shock.

Haymitch was much more calm. With Katniss spinning out, he had to be. “He’s warning us. That was a warning.” Behind him, Boggs said something in agreement.

Katniss looked to have gotten over her shock, frantically turning and fretting, “We have to get him out before they kill him.” She was ignored.

What about you? he wondered. Where did this leave you? But right now, what they needed to worry about was where it left them.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t have anything to come home to.

“It’s time for an air raid drill.” Seconds after Coin spoke, an alarm went off. Everyone that’d been fixed to their spot in the room was up, like they’d been preparing for this for a lifetime, and from what he heard, they had been.

Katniss went running, searching for her sister while he went looking for Annie and Mags, grabbing them and descending down the stairwell as soon as he saw them. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, his mind blank, just as it was in the arena.

If he let his thoughts take control, then he’d lose it, and he couldn’t do that right now. He couldn’t slip up right now with what was at stake.

It was your life on the line.

He couldn’t lose you.

But a part of him knew that, the second you were in Snow’s hands, the you that he knew was lost forever.

Down in the bunker, Finnick sat on the bottom bunk with Mags off resting by herself while Annie had fallen asleep at the top. Sometimes, with her episodes, it was easy to forget that she was a victor, too, that she had danced the same dance you had. But she was, and she was dancing like never before.

He could tell that she had been trying hard to keep it together, but with all of the panic and the noise, it was hard. She fell asleep easily. 

Although the bunker was pretty quiet, his thoughts were still so loud. The last time he saw you played out in his head. He could still taste your lips on his, still feel your soft skin, still see your beautiful eyes.

I’ll see you at midnight?

Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.

But he didn’t. He never saw you again. He would’ve never let you go if he’d known then what’d happen. He would’ve held you longer, kissed you longer. He would’ve told you he loved you.

If he’d known this’d happen, he would’ve told you long before The Games. The truth was, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he fell in love with you. It had always been Annie for him, and you were just there.

But that was exactly it. You were there. You were always there. 

Maybe he started falling for you after the first time you slept together. Maybe it was after your fifth time mentoring together. Maybe it was after the time he had a nightmare and you let him hold you. Maybe it was after you smiled, and really smiled, for the first time since you decided to start pretending to be a couple. He couldn’t be sure, but somewhere along the way, you became so much more to him than just Y/N Y/L/N, Princess of Panem and victor of the 67th Hunger Games.

You became the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

He just wished he could’ve told you that.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when someone walked up to him. “Hey.” He looked up, seeing Katniss. She looked beat, her voice quiet. “Can I sit?”

He nodded, moving over so she could sit next to him. She had her family down here, that’s why he hadn’t gone over to her, but he understood why she was coming to him. After going through what they went through, it was easier to be around people who went through the same thing, who were going through the same thing.

Like she was reading his mind, she asked, “Are you thinking about her?”

There wasn’t any need for further explanation. Truthfully, he answered, “Yeah,” looking down at the ground. Every moment he had that wasn’t dedicated to this revolution was spent thinking about you.

After a second, she spoke up again. “Snow’s using her to punish you. He’s taunting us with them.” She scoffed a little. “I didn’t understand that until just now watching that stupid cat.”

She was right. This wasn’t just about propaganda. This was about Snow’s little puppets misbehaving.

So now he was showing them that, even in 13, he still owned them. He still owned Finnick. He still owned Katniss. He still owned Johanna. He still owned Peeta. And he still owned you.

He was using you against him because he knew how much you meant to him, the same way he knew how much Peeta meant to Katniss, even if she didn’t see that herself.

Finnick sighed, debating on whether or not he should say what he was thinking or keep it to himself before deciding that he had held enough in, that holding his thoughts in had never done him any good. So he turned to Katniss and started, “I- Y/N and I, we hadn’t met until after she won her Games. We weren’t really friends, at first, but rumours start fast in the Capitol, especially when ‘royalty’ is involved.” He humourlessly chuckled. “People were saying that we were dating, and so she- she thought the best thing for us to do was to let them believe it, let them have their love story. The alternative, two people coping together- that was a lot darker than what the Capitol could handle.”

She tilted her head, furrowing her brows. He watched as she put it all together. “Wait, are you saying that…”

He nodded. “Yes. It was fake. Our love story was just that: a story.” Surprise was painted all over her face.

“But… you told me that you love her.”

A ghost of a smile came to his face. “I do. I love her. It wasn’t like that at first, but over time, I fell for her, Katniss.” He saw a look pass over her face: understanding. What he was describing wasn’t just you and him; it was her and Peeta. “Y/N and I, we learned how to play the game. If anyone could spot a fake relationship, it was us. After your first Games, we thought your whole romance was an act. We expected you to continue that strategy. But it wasn’t until Peeta’s heart stopped and he nearly died that… I knew I’d misjudged you. You love him.”

Katniss looked away, like what he was saying was something she’d never even considered. It was so clear to everyone that she loved him, everyone but herself.

“I’m not saying in what way,” he added, understanding her feelings so well because he’d right where she was. “Maybe you don’t even know yourself. But anyone paying attention can see it.” He maintained his stare, even as she looked away.

With the life they lived, you didn’t want to give yourself to love, to admit that to yourself, to allow yourself to be vulnerable. But you could only hide a love so strong for so long.

She swallowed, gaze still aimed at the floor. “How do you live with it?”

You’re asking the wrong person, he thought, but that wasn’t an acceptable answer. That wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Right now, Katniss was lost; he needed to point her in the right direction.

Even if he still had trouble doing that for himself.

He paused for a moment, searching for the right words to say. “I drag myself outta nightmares and there’s no relief in waking up,” he confessed. “But I- sometimes, when I’m awake, I let myself dream about her.” Finally, she looked over to him. “I dream that, one day, when this is all over, we’re living in a better world, happy.” The corners of his lips quirked up at the thought. “It’s hope, Katniss. That’s how I live with it.”

Katniss eyes were dull, red, tired, but even in the darkness of the bunker, he was able to see a tiny spark light up in her eyes.

Hope.

They’d fallen asleep in the bunker along with everyone else until Finnick woke up to Boggs shaking him, telling him that they had to go. Coin wanted Katniss to get in front of the camera, tell Panem that they were still standing after the attack.

But, as soon as they stepped outside, he watched her fall apart.

Roses.

A rose?

They’re a Capitol favourite.

You hated roses. Looking at them himself, he couldn’t even blame Katniss. He felt sick, too.

She couldn’t do it. She was almost hysterical, so of course Boggs let her go. They couldn’t put her on TV when she was like this. But they also didn’t have time to wait.

With Katniss gone, Haymitch and Boggs pulled him aside to a briefing room, getting started on a new plan.

“Okay, what are we doing?”

They gave each other a look, much like the look Plutarch and Haymitch traded right after the Quell, like they knew something he didn’t, like they were getting ready for him to explode.

“Finnick, the dam that went down in district 5 cut power in most of the Capitol,” Haymitch started. “Their defences are down—Beetee’s gonna be able to get in now.”

His brows furrowed. He already knew that. 

Sensing his confusion, Boggs cut in, “We’ve gotten word that the victors are in the Tribute Centre.”

Suddenly, it was like his heart stopped.

You were coming home.

He echoed his thoughts. “You’re going to get them?”

“Yes, I’ll be leading the mission-”

“Well, I’m coming.” Again, they both shared a look, like they were expecting him to say that, and why wouldn’t they? You were his girlfriend; of course, he wanted to be there to save you. 

“Finnick-”

He cut Boggs off a second time, repeating himself, “I am coming with you.”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”

He scoffed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Finnick-”

“If you’re going to get Y/N, then I’m coming with you-”

“You are too valuable to this revolution for them to let you go,” Haymitch said, but Finnick really couldn’t give a damn about whatever reason they threw at him. You were all he could think about.

“I’m not just gonna sit here and do nothing while they’re being rescued,” he retaliated. For over a month, sitting around and doing nothing was practically all he’d been doing, fantasizing about you, unknowing of when he’d see you again or if he’d ever see you again, trying to imagine what you could’ve been going through.

He couldn’t just stand by while you were in a live or die situation.

If you died- no, he cut his thoughts off, refusing to finish the sentence.

You couldn’t die.

Haymitch sighed, glancing away before looking back at him. His eyes were always hard, but at that moment, Finnick saw flashes of sympathy. “You won’t be doing nothing.”

His eyes slightly narrowed. “What do you mean?”

The two shared another look before he told him, “Katniss can’t record right now. But you can.”

Another scoff left his lips, an incredulous look on his face as his voice was laced with sarcasm. “You want me to film a propo while you save Y/N?”

Haymitch didn’t respond right away, just staring at him like he was trying to properly articulate his words. The way he was looking at him unnerved him, like whatever he was gonna say could shatter him into a million pieces.

“Not a propo, Finnick,” he finally said, hesitation evident in his tone. “It’s a lot more than that.”

And, as Haymitch explained to him what they wanted him to do, Finnick learned just how much more that was.

Finnick Odair. That was a name synonymous with royalty, luxury, desire. Before he even met you, that was the name he’d built for himself—or, rather, the name that was thrusted into his arms.

A sex symbol.

When you won your Games, he could remember listening to the Capitol chatter. Stunning, refined, intelligent: a princess. You both already had so much in common, both from the same district, both so young when you won, but suddenly, as he watched you leave that hotel room that night in the Capitol, he realized that you had much more in common than he thought.

You were one and the same.

Those nights you spent together in the Capitol, out in the cold, you were silent. And then, even as you spoke to big Capitol fishes and gave speeches, you were still silent then, too, never speaking out about the injustices you’d been faced with.

Now, Finnick stood outside in the darkness, cold, but this time, you weren’t next to him. You weren’t next to him, and that was because Snow took you.

So he wasn’t going to stay silent anymore.

You deserved better than that.

He glanced around, almost as if he was trying to tell if his surroundings were real, if he was really doing this. 

He looked back when Cressida called his name, a careful look on her face. “Yeah,” he said, conveying he was okay without saying it, even if he really wasn’t. 

She didn’t look very convinced, but she still responded, “Okay.” She paused. “Take your time. Just remember to keep talking and don’t stop.”

He lightly nodded, looking up in front of him, seeing his breath in the air. For a moment, he was silent, but that moment didn’t last long. 

He had been silent for far too long already.

“This is Finnick Odair. Winner of the 65th Hunger Games,” he introduced himself, even though he knew that anyone watching must have recognized him right away. “And I’m coming to you from district 13, alive and well. We’ve survived an assault from the Capitol,” he recited. “But I’m not here to give you recent news.”

What he was going to tell them was much more than news about this rebellion. What he would reveal was about a war that’d started long before this rebellion ever did.

“I come with something much more valuable.”

I haven’t dealt in anything as common as money in years.

Well, then how do people pay for the pleasure of your company?

“The truth. The truth about being a victor, about being royalty.” Bitterness seeped through his tone. “Not the myths about a life of luxury. Not the lie about glory for your homeland.” He looked straight at the camera. “You can survive the arena. But the moment you leave, you’re a slave.”

We will never be free, Y/N.

He took in a breath before he spoke his next words, knowing that they held power stronger than a weapon. He may as well have been pointing the gun at his own head. But if he had to get burned to burn down the Capitol, then he would do it. He would do it a thousand times over.

And so would you.

“President Snow used to sell me. Or my body, at least. I wasn’t the only one.” Your face flashed in his mind. “If a victor is considered desirable, the President gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them. If you refuse, he kills someone you love.” Johanna.

It’s not fair. He killed her family. She said no, and he killed her family.

I know. It’s not fair, I know.

It was never fair. No riches or glory could ever be enough to compensate for that.

“To make themselves feel better, my patrons would make presents of money or jewelry. But I found a much more valuable form of payment.” The corners of his lips upturned slightly to form a small, humourless smile. “Secrets.”

The secrets he knew had the power to rip apart the Capitol’s so called “peace” at the seams. For him, for Katniss, for Johanna, for Peeta, for Annie, for you—this peace had fallen apart ages ago.

Katniss was forced to become the voice of thousands when she could barely do that for herself. Johanna turned to rage. Peeta turned to charm. Annie lost her mind. And you… what about you? 

It was about time that this peace was destroyed. It was about time that people understood exactly what victors really lost. And that Panem’s monsters weren’t hiding under the bed.

They were sitting on thrones.

“See, I know all the depravity, the deceit, and the cruelty of the Capitol’s pampered elite. But the biggest secrets are about our good President, Coriolanus Snow.” The biggest monster of them all. “Such a young man when he rose to power. Such a clever one to keep it. How, you may ask, did he do it?” He paused, looking right at the camera as if he was looking right into Snow’s eyes.

He hoped he was watching.

He hoped he was watching as they burned the Capitol to the ground.

“One word.” He lit the match. “Poison.” And then he dropped it.

“He stopped every mutiny before it even started. There are so many mysterious deaths to adversaries. Even to allies who were threats.” He could remember being at one of those dinners, watching a man fall onto his plate, his life over so quickly.

Once you were on the playing board, it didn’t matter how powerful you were. To Snow, you were all just pawns that he could knock off the board easily.

Not anymore.

“Snow would drink from the same cup to deflect suspicion. But… antidotes don’t always work, which is why he wears roses that reek of perfume. Help cover the scent of blood from sores in his mouth that will never heal.”

When Finnick learned this, he could remember the feeling he had, the satisfaction in knowing that a man who had spilled so much blood was bleeding himself. It was karmic.

How ironic was that?

“But he can’t hide the scent of who he really is,” he continued, remembering Cressida’s words. Don’t stop. “He kills without mercy. He rules with deception and fear. His weapon of choice is the only thing suited to such a man. Poison.” He scoffed. 

“The perfect weapon for a snake.”

Moments after Finnick’s last words, they were off the air. Cressida’s hand went to her ear, a dark look passing over her face. The Capitol air defence system’s coming back online, she said, and she didn’t get to say much else before he went running inside.

Much like every other day he’d spent in 13, your face came to his mind, but this time was different. This time, they went in to save you.

What if they couldn’t?

No, they had to bring you back- they had to.

He ran and ran until he got to ops, seeing Katniss crying in Haymitch’s arms. As soon as she saw him, she latched onto him and he reciprocated her hug tightly. He had to hold on. He had to.

He wouldn’t survive the fall if he let go.

He knows, he knows they’re in the Tribute Centre, she cried, and then for the second time that day, his heart stopped. He knew. Snow knew about the rescue mission.

His ears rang, eyes going blurry. And then things got a little blurry after that, too. Eventually, he ended up back in his room by himself. He didn’t know how he got there, but he did. All he could hear was your voices in his head.

No, you are coming home-

Finni-

We are both coming come. We are both coming home, Y/N, I swear.

He was supposed to protect you. He promised. He promised you that you would both make it home. But now where were you? You weren’t with him.

You never came home.

At one point, Annie came in, trying to be of some consolation, but she ended up leaving, unable to get through to him. He couldn’t hear her over your conversations that replayed in his head on a loop.

I told you. I’m not letting you die.

A tear raced down his cheek. He knew that you were maybe still alive, that you still had a chance, but that didn’t matter. It was never supposed to get to this point. He was never supposed to let it get to this point, a point where you could be dead.

He was supposed to bring you home.

Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.

The doors suddenly slid open and Katniss walked in, breaking him out of his spell. He wiped the tears that’d fallen, clearing his throat. “Is there any news?”

Solemnly, she shook her head. “No.” He sighed as she sat down next to him, a big exhale leaving her lips, too. Both of them had passed the point of exhaustion, but it wasn’t like they could rest. Finnick wasn’t sure that he could sleep if he tried.

With this song playing so loudly, how could he?

Katniss was dancing the same dance as him, fighting the same battles. The man she loved was out there, too. She must have been just as scared as him.

They sat in silence for a while until she broke it, her voice raspy and just above a whisper. “Finnick?”

He turned to see her looking down at the ground. “Yeah?”

“I-” she stammered. It was only when she looked up at him that he saw the look in her eyes and knew why she was so nervous.

He shook his head. “It’s fine-”

She scoffed. “No, it’s not- it’s not fine-”

“Katniss-”

She cut him off. “I’m sorry.” Her words made him swallow. He knew she was going to speak them, but for some reason, hearing them was so different, surreal. She exhaled again, maintaining eye contact. “I am sorry.”

Finnick looked away. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her apology, but he felt uncomfortable, looking into her eyes and just seeing the pure sorrow, pity. No, Katniss hadn’t been through exactly what he had, but at that moment, looking into her eyes was like looking into a mirror.

He couldn’t handle that right now, not when he stood at the top of the tallest mountain in the world and had such a long way to fall, everything to lose. 

He nodded, accepting her apology without words. It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know, she didn’t know him back then. She hadn’t been a victor long enough to know yet. If anything, he was glad that she didn’t get to know their world, that she wasn’t sucked up by the same darkness that took you and him.

He was glad that her and Peeta got time in the sun, even if it was only for a little while.

“Y/N…” At the sound of your name, he turned back to her, seeing her brows furrow, eyes glazed over. “When I met her, she said something to me.” Realization flashed across her face as she looked up. “Was- was she-”

He cut her off, “Yeah. Yeah, she was.” When he blinked, he saw you walking out of that hotel room, the look on your face. He’d never forget the way you looked at him that night.

May the odds be ever in your favour, darling.

“There were more,” he admitted. “Any victor that the Capitol found desirable was taken. Annie only couldn’t because of her madness. Johanna-” a humourless chuckle left his lips. “Johanna refused, and her entire family paid the price.” He look back to Katniss to see that her mouth had fallen open, a look of horror on her face. “You and Peeta were spared because you were together. Hell, that’s the reason Y/N and I got together, to escape all this. And now look where we are.”

With you on the verge of dying and Finnick on the verge of losing everything.

You. You were his everything.

And you didn’t even know it.

“I never told her, Katniss.” He was breathless, like the wind had been knocked out of him. He’d realized this before, knew that he made a mistake, but now it was like he was realizing that he may never get the chance to correct it. “I- I never told her I loved her.”

I’m your girlfriend now?

Oh, come on, Y/N. You can’t be serious right now.

I am so serious right now.

You had no idea. You had no idea that you were the reason he kept living, that you were the reason he kept going, even when it hurt so badly. He’d walk through Hell if he could get to Heaven and be with you.

But what if you never knew that?

What if you died without knowing how he felt about you?

Katniss grabbed onto his hand. He looked to see tears welling in her eyes. “You will,” she whispered. “Hope, Finnick. You need to have hope.”

“Hope,” he echoed. Just like how he saw your face, he was able to see a future just as easily. It was so clear. That better world that Coin went on about, the better world that they were fighting for… it was just within their grasp. He nodded, managing to form somewhat of a smile. “Hope.”

He needed that, now more than ever. If he ever wanted to make it to that better world, to live in it with you, then he had to have hope—hope for the both of you.

Katniss didn’t say much after that; neither did he. Both of them were reflecting on their own, still trying to process all the turmoil that the day had caused. He spent his time thinking of you, imagining that better world.

In a better world, you and Finnick would’ve never been sold. You would’ve met, and he would’ve gotten the chance to fall in love with you the right way. He wouldn’t have been so scared to tell you. You would’ve given back to the community, not taken kids to their deaths.

You would’ve been so happy together.

But that wasn’t the world you lived in.

In the world you lived in, you and Finnick were sold at ages far too young. First, you sold your souls by winning The Games, and then your bodies were sold to people who had no business touching you.

In the world you lived in, you were only brought together because of tragedy. You only dated to try and save yourselves from a much greater evil, not because you loved each other.

In the world you lived in, Finnick fell in love with you. But he couldn’t tell you that, not when his biggest fear became losing you.

But in the world you lived in, he lost you, anyway.

So he had to have hope that a better world was possible- he had to. Not having that was another blow he wasn’t sure he could take.

When imagining your better world turned into reminiscing over all that’d happened to you both, he cut his thoughts off. He couldn’t let himself stop and break down now, not when he was so close to the finish line, so close to you.

So he pulled rope from his pocket, tying the same knots over and over again, a habit he’d picked up at a young age. Focusing on the knots was able to take his mind off everything, allowing white noise to play instead of this song.

He didn’t want to hear it without you.

He did this until he lost track of time. It was only when the doors slid open again that he was broken out of his trance. Katniss perked up right away. It was Haymitch behind the door, looking as enthusiastic as Finnick had ever seen him. “They’re back.”

She gasped, getting up and running right away, but it was as if Finnick was cemented to his spot. They’re back. 

You were back.

Just like that, he was shaken out of his shock, standing and quickly catching up with them.

They ran until they were in the medical area. As soon as they got there, he saw Johanna, ripping an IV out of her arm. Her hair was gone, shaven off, bruises all over her pale, pale face.

“Johanna,” Katniss muttered, but Finnick’s attention was elsewhere, eyes darting around the room, searching for you, heart racing.

And then he saw you.

His eyes went wide. “Y/N!” Without waiting another second, he ran to you. After over a month, here you were, right in front of him.

But it wasn’t so simple.

You flinched as his hands went to touch you, making him retract them right away. Your eyes didn’t look in his direction once.

Like you were scared of him.

At the thought, his heart clenched. It was only then that he noticed you were shaking, even as you were covered in blankets.

Your body was littered with cuts and bruises. You were pale, too, so clearly malnourished and sleep deprived. But it was your eyes that really got him. Your beautiful eyes no longer looked so lively. They looked empty.

You looked like a ghost.

“Y/N?” His voice cracked simultaneously with his heart. Why weren’t you looking at him? “Y/N-”

He was cut off. “Mr. Odair.” He turned to see a doctor standing on the other side of your bed, a hesitant look on her face and a look in her eyes that made a shiver go up spine. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”

He glanced back to you, seeing that you still weren’t looking at him. Your gaze was fixed on a spot on your bed. You hadn’t looked up once, even as the doctor spoke. Confused, he nodded, letting the woman pull him to the side, out of earshot from you.

But even as the doctor started speaking, he couldn’t get your eyes out of his mind.

That look in your eye was somehow worse than any of his nightmares combined.

“Mr. Odair, Ms. Y/L/N’s condition is… it’s quite complex,” she cautioned. He furrowed his brows, his worry increasing.

“What do you mean- is she okay-”

“No, I meant- physically, I’m not seeing much to be worried about. Of course, she could be better- much better, but this is what we were expecting.” She paused, glancing at you. “Mentally- I’m not even sure where to begin.”

He glanced back at you, too, to see that you were still staring at that same spot on your bed. He let the doctor’s words register in his brain. You weren’t okay.

“We’ve informed psych, but for now, you’re just gonna need to give her time.” Time.

He let out a breath, feeling his eyes getting wet as what she was saying really soaked in. “You’re telling me to leave.” Just as he got you back.

“Mr. Odair-”

“You’re telling me to leave.”

“Finnick.” She cut him off with a strong call of his name. “Your girlfriend’s mental state right now is unstable. She’s in shock; she’s not herself right now. It is going to take some time to get her out of this state, and it’s going to be hard for you to see her in it. In the meantime, the best thing you can do for her is take some time to collect your thoughts.”

She was telling him to go off and think. Did she know that’s all he’d been doing for hours, thinking and throwing himself into the worst possible scenarios, only to realize that one of them had become a reality?

But he didn’t tell her this, instead looking back at you. You were lifeless. When he looked back at the doctor, there was a pleading expression on her face. He didn’t want to leave you, but she made it sound like the best possible thing to do for you. So he did.

But the truth was, he just couldn’t bear to watch you when you were like that.

You were the love of his life. It was like his heart started beating again when he saw you there, alive, but then it dulled once he really looked at you.

You didn’t look like the girl he fell in love with, the girl that went into that arena, or the girl he said goodbye to. It only took a month, and now you looked like a completely different person, like you had seen things no man had ever seen.

In his haze, Finnick made it back to his room, but he didn’t make it to the bed, collapsing onto the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest as his mind spun.

You were alive. He thought that, when he finally saw you again, all of his worries would be erased, that everything would be okay again, that the world would go back to being in colour instead of this black and white that he’d been stuck in with Katniss.

But nothing seemed more colourful.

Nothing seemed better.

You were here. You were back, Y/N Y/L/N, the same woman he loved, the same woman he’d dreamt about for weeks. You were alive. 

But, oh, he should’ve known it couldn’t have been that easy.

Your heart was beating, your eyes were open, and you were there… but that didn’t mean you were alive.

I told you. I’m not letting you die.

Little did Finnick know, you were already dead. 

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