#deadpool drabble

[luxesiren]

⸻ 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇 𝐒𝐄𝐗 :: wade wilson x black reader

synopsis :: wade comes back home from “business" and asks if you wanted to smoke with him and of course you did

cw :: 3.1k+ words MDNI, intentional lower case, fem!black reader, drug use (marijuana), established relationship, fluff, porn w/o plot, smut; oral sex (m receiving), fingering, dirty talk, praise, tummy bulge, riding, rough sex, dry humping, spanking, overstimulation, mating press, daddy kink, and degradation

a/n :: i’ve been wanting to write for marvel characters, i just haven’t but i think writing wade wilson is the best character to start off with cause i love him😩 but uhm this is technically a recycled work of mine and i’m just sharing it with y’all! so enjoy!

it’s been a while since you’ve seen wade, he’s always away for “business” and even though you knew exactly what his business entailed but it didn’t phase you. naturally, you were excited to see wade so when he came home and kissed you, you were practically floating. he asked you if you wanted to smoke with him and who were you to say no? 

there you were with your legs across wade’s lap, watching him roll the blunt so effortlessly, you just could’t stop staring at him, his mask half way on and it makes you want to see the rest of his face, the scars covering his face visible but you never cared, at the end of the day, his looks weren’t his most important factor. you leaned over and kissed his cheek with a smile, he turned to look at you with a smile on his face, “what was that for?” 

“just cause, baby.” you reply, shrugging your shoulders and leaning back against the couch. he finished rolling the blunt and sealing it up perfectly before he took his lighter and lit it up, inhaling some the smoke before passing it to you. it was always good smoking with wade, he always made sure you were good and that you weren’t tripping out from the weed but he always catered to your every need, smoking with him always made you horny – no matter what it was, you always ended up in some compromising position with him making you cum until you couldn’t anymore. 

you passed it back to him and he took a drag of it, holding in the smoke and exhaling shortly after, “you always have this pink gloss on the blunt, i’m two seconds away from just buying some for myself.” 

“baby- what?” you laughed, you couldn’t help it, he was a fool. he passed the blunt back to you and you already the felt the high coming on as you kept passing it back and forth between each other. “be quiet, you just tryna be funny” 

“it made you laugh so i think it worked.” wade laughed, his hand resting on your thigh, squeezing gently before caressing, he always loved your thighs. he would always have his hands on your thighs, sometimes just resting there and other times his hand would be between them. wade couldn’t take his eyes off you, his lids low and somewhat heavy – the high not really doing much for him but it still affected him in a way but he just couldn’t stop staring at you. 

you caught him looking and you giggled, “what? i got something on my face?” and wade just shook his head, pulling you into his lap without another word. you squealed before you finally settled, his hands on your waist before they moved to your ass. he was always handsy even without the weed. 

“i’m just looking at you, baby. that’s all.” he replied, voice low and rough from the smoke. 

you took a final hit from the blunt before you leaned over him to put it out on the ashtray, “really? you missed me?” your hands wrapped around his neck as you leaned down to whisper in his ear. 

“always do, snookums.” he said with a smile, leaning in to kiss you but before his lips could meet yours, you pulled back and looked at him with your eyebrow raised, “what?” 

you smacked your lips and crossed your arms, “you know i love to see your face, why do you keep playing with me?” 

“my goodness, such a sassy little thing,” he rolled his eyes before taking off his mask and tossing it to the side, “is that better?” 

“much better.” you responded before you pulled him back, kissing his lips softly and your hands still wrapped around his neck, your chest pressed against his. his hands gripping your ass while he deepens the kiss. you admit that you missed him too, tired of being on facetime with him and texting pictures of himself just to tease you about how much he missed you. 

not long after, your back was pressed against the couch and wade was on top of you, his lips sucking on your bottom lip before pulling back and kissing down your jawline to your neck, sucking marks and biting down causing you to whine. your thighs pressed together, your pussy ruining your panties with how wet you were for him.

his hand roamed your body, he played with your tits, thumbs pressing down on your nipples making you whimper in his mouth and he loves to hear you like that, making as much noise as you can for him. your eyes glossy and rolling to the back of your head from how he was rutting against you, the thick bulge that rested in his sweats was enough to drive you insane, pressing against your clit making you grind into him. 

his hands moved to pull off your panties, not wasting a second before two of his fingers teased your folds. the grip you had on his shoulders tightened with every rub against your cunt, his lips never left yours. instead it was you who pulled away to moan his name. he loved hearing his name on your lips, so sweet and so breathless coming from you. “wade, fuck…i want more.” 

he didn’t protest, wanting to give you whatever you wanted — missing you as much as you missed him and he didn’t deny it. you felt how much he missed you with how delicate he touched you, drawing out every movement of his, two of his fingers moved inside you, his thumb circling your clit and making you leak more slick. “jesus, baby, you look so pretty like this. i think i could cum just from that face you’re making.” 

“yeah? wouldn’t that make it easy? cumming so easy just from my face?” you chuckled which quickly turned into a moan when his fingers curled just right, “mm wade..”

“you’re doing so good for me, taking my fingers so well.” his fingers thrusting in and out slowly, gradually picking up the pace. he wanted to see you fall apart for him, your thighs tempted to close around his hand but he didn’t allow it, his free hand spreading them apart even further. 

your whines made him even harder in his sweats that it was almost painful but he didn’t care, not when you were squirming and making a mess of his fingers. your thighs started to tremble and he knew that you were close, he didn’t stop moving his fingers, keeping the same pace and making you moan loudly, whimpering from the drag of his fingers against your sensitive walls making you grab his wrist but he kept going, nothing would stop him. 

“wade, m’gonna cum, please..” you begged, you wanted him to give you what you so desperately wanted, what you needed. he let you do just that, whining loudly and cumming around his fingers. he didn’t pull his fingers just yet, giving you one last thrust before he pulled out slowly licking his fingers clean all while looking you in the eyes. “taste good, daddy?” 

his hand came down slapping your thigh roughly making you cry out before you smirk at him, you pull yourself up settling down in his lap and kissing him, moaning when you taste yourself on his tongue. his hands move down your back landing on your ass and squeezing before smacking your ass making you arch your back and whimper, “you what i missed?” he asks, his voice deep in your ear making you squirm. 

“hm? tell me what you missed, daddy.” you reply, causing him to groan, your hand move to his sweats moving your hand over his bulge stroking slowly just to work him up. “i think i can guess what..” 

“fuck..baby” he was losing his mind and you found joy in watching him grip the couch cushions to find some relieve, his hip moving into your hand and you can’t help but to chuckle. you move to pull out his cock, hard and heavy in your hand but you missed the feeling of him in your han and leaking precum – you kissed his lips softly, just enough to get him even more riled up and wanting more. his eyes still low and light red from the high he was still sporting but that just made you want him even more, his gaze never leaving yours as you got down on your knees. 

his legs spread and you always loved when he sat like that but now you were in between them and you missed being on your knees for him. barely containing your excitement when you started to stroke him even more, your hand moving up and hand on him making his hips jerk and a groan to slip from his lips. you let go to spit in your hand, returning to his cock and moving at that same pace before you moved closer, one hand resting on his thigh and the other guiding his cock towards your lips. 

not wasting any time you kissed his tip, licking at the precum that was there, still stroking down his shaft and teasing him just a bit before you started to suck the tip in your mouth. “s-shit, baby” his hand resting on your head, starting to grip your hair just a little and you felt a little pride in making him act like this but you know it’s because he missed you and he loved having his dick sucked. 

you missed having his dick in your mouth, your tongue moved against his tip before your lips fully wrapped around him causing him to curse under his breath and his thigh twitched against your hand, his hips itched to move, tempted to fuck your face. your head bobbed and your tongue licked at the vein residing on the side of his cock, making you moan around him and he couldn’t help the way his hip jerked and almost choked you but you never minded, you loved when he lost control of himself and started to fuck your face. you pulled off, letting the spit that gathered on your tongue drip down his shaft before you moved your hands, twisting your wrist just the way he liked it. 

wade couldn’t take his eyes off you, you were like a dream and he felt like h was heaven – your hands kept moving against him before your lips were back on him again and he couldn’t help the way his head tossed back and he moaned out loud. “you must’ve missed having daddy’s dick in your mouth” he said, his hands moving to grip your hair, pushing you down further onto his cock, he relished in feeling you try to swallow around him before you got the hang of it and relaxed your throat to let him in. 

you weren’t expecting him to push you down further and usually it wasn’t hard to relax your throat to take all of him but it was and you chalked it up to be the fact that you hadn’t had his dick in a few weeks but you quickly got the hang of it and relaxed your throat, swallowing him down just like he wanted. his hands tight in your hair and moving your head up and down at his pace, your tongue swirled around his tip before he pushed you down again making you take every inch of him. 

he couldn’t take it anymore, he pulled you off his dick and pulled you into his lap. “you drive me insane, you know? can’t wait anymore, gotta fuck you.” his words slightly slurred and his lips were on yours again, your arms wrapped around his neck and pulling him impossibly closer to you. his hands moved to the underside of your thighs, lifting you up while your hands guided his cock to your cunt, rubbing it against your folds coating him in more of your slick before you started to sink down. 

the collective groans from the both of you were loud and wade waited until you adjusted to him before he grabbed your hips and started to move you, guiding you as if you needed the practice but you didn’t, he was just desparate and needed more of you. your head dropped onto his shoulder, biting down slightly before you moved to look at him – your hips moving on their own accord now, bouncing on his cock like you needed it as if it was the air you breathed. “mm fuck, daddy feels good.” 

he loved when you called him daddy, made him want to fuck you senseless, “you know what that name does to me..”

you chuckled, “i know..right there, baby..” you moaned when his hip met your thrusts, fucking up into you roughly and his pace relentless making you cry out and fuck, it felt good but you wanted more, needed more.

wade always noticed when you needed, always attentive to you. “what do you need, baby? tell me, tell daddy what you need.” he said, he kissed down your neck leaving marks that would last a few days but you didn’t care. his hands gripped your hips again thrusting into you harder as you kept bouncing on him. 

“fuck! i need you to fuck me..please.” 

wade smirked, “but i’m already fucking you. what else could you need?” he knew exactly what you meant but he liked to see you beg for it. “hmm maybe you could tell me what you mean.” 

“wade you know what i mean, don’t play.” you retorted, your hips still moving but you needed him deeper and he knew that so why wasn’t he giving it to you. 

“maybe i do or maybe i don’t.” he said, slowing his thrusts which made you whine, clawing at his chest, “beg for it. beg for daddy, c’mon, i know you can do it. use your words and ask for it.” 

you couldn’t help but to whimper at his words, the softness of his voice making you want to do whatever he asked of you and you did just that, “please, daddy? please, fuck me harder?” 

that’s all he wanted. you couldn’t even settle with what happened before you were on your back and your legs were resting on his shoulders, he pulled out and slammed back in making you scream, “see? such a good girl, asking daddy to fuck you harder.” his hands parted your legs and moved them to your chest putting you in his favorite position just so he could fuck you harder, deeper, just the way you want him to. 

your hand gripped the couch cushions, drool leaking out the side of your mouth almost continuous from the deep thrust he kept giving you – his tip kissing your cervix and you couldn’t help but to keep clenching around him, you wanted to keep him inside of you just like that. his hands gripped your thighs tightly becoming overwhelmed by the pleasure, his eyes watched as your cunt swallowed his cock, clenching and unclenching around him every time he pulled out and pushed back in. 

tears sprung in your eyes but it all felt heavenly, feeling just how deep he was almost making your tummy bulge, your hand moved to rest on your stomach and you looked up at him seeing him focused on your pussy. “‘s good, please, please.” 

“please what? you want more?” his eyes locked with yours as he changed the pace of his thrusts, slowly moving his hips making you feel everything he had to give you, “want daddy to fuck you like a slut? hm?” 

the moan you let out was obscene, you nodded your head and he happily obliged, going back to his rough pace fucking into you like you were a two-cent whore and he hated you. he pulled out and manhandled you into that beautiful arch he would never get tired of seeing, his hand smacking your ass, once, twice, and three times hearing how loud your moans got with every hit. “s-shit wade, wade, fuck..!” 

his hand came down your ass again making your back arch even further, “that’s not my name, say it or i’ll stop” 

“daddy, m’gonna cum, gonna cum.” you said, tears running down your face and your thighs trembling, you try to push him back but he didn’t allow it, he grabbed your hands and pinned them to your back. his hip smacking against yours louder than before echoing in the room and bouncing off the walls. 

“don’t push me away, take it like a good girl. you always take it so tonight shouldn’t be any different, you asked for this so take it.” his voice rough in your ears, his hands smoothing down your stomach pressing against the bulge in your stomach, “fuck, you can feel how deep i am..” he chuckled pressing down even harder and there it was, you couldn’t hold back anymore, your thighs started to shake vigorously and your cunt clamped down on his cock tightly – your cum coating his cock. “there you go, fuck, you’re so tight.” 

your back still arched as you tried to catch your breath but as quickly as you settled, the breath was knocked out of you again when wade started to move again. you mewled into the couch, the overstimulation of his cock dragging against your walls,too sensitive for you to take but you couldn’t push him away not with his hands still pinning yours to the small of your back. “wade ‘s too much.” 

“aww it’s too much? i thought you could take it, guess not..” he mocked, his hips still unwavering and still moving not caring about how overstimulated you were, chasing his pleasure. “you can take a little more, baby. i know you can.” he said and you believed him, a whimper leaving your lips and your head moving against the couch cushions. 

His thrusts became sloppier as he became closer and closer to cumming, you couldn’t do anything but lay there and take it, receiving everything he was giving you. he cursed loudly and pulled your hips flush against his, a gasp leaving yours when you felt the warmth of his cum filling you up and his cock twitching inside of you. “fuck, fuck, take it all, baby.” 

after a minute, he pulled out and watching your combined cum leak out of your abused cunt, dripping down your leg. he pulled you closer to him, kissing your neck and cheeks softly before smoothing down your hair and caressing your cheek. “you okay, baby?” he asked you, making you smile at his concern. 

“mhm never better. don’t leave for that long again, i missed you.” you replied, grabbing his hand and kissing his palm. 

“i missed you too, princess. come on, let’s go clean up and then i’ll order us some food, okay?” you nodded in response before he kissed you again and picked you up, and carrying you to the bathroom to run a bath and cater to you for the rest of the night.

© 𝐥𝐮𝐱𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧 | all rights reserved to me, please don’t repost, steal, or copy to any other websites

tags :: @phorxic @spiderpunkfien @s0ulxblackstar @noritopia @chosovixen @smiley-babe @tojislittlewormbaby @ask-kiyanah @etherealxmaya

[innerslumber]

Me imagining Deadpool abusing the TVA in his third movie to pop in on Steve Rogers during Endgame:

Wade: Hey so, I know you got this plan to go back to the past and stay there because the writers are hacks and they can't even keep their own lore intact but LISTEN, how about you hand me those stones and I'll take care of them for ya.

Steve: *staring bewilderedly at the man in Red and Black who just materialized out of thin air* Uh...do I know you?

Wade: Wade Wilson. HUGE fan. I can do this all day. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. Til the end of the line. Although that last one isn't gonna be real honest if we let the writers ruin a decade of character development, right? *wriggling fingers* Now let me at them sparkly Josh Brolin Space Kidney Stones.

Steve: Look, I really shouldn't be surprised by anything at this point but this is really important and I can't just hand over-

Wade: You know what else is important? Making sure we keep giving Disney the middle finger despite our inability to stop sucking their tits for content because at the end of the day, we're all victims of capitalism. So just give me the fucking stones, Captain Sexy Ass and not ruin my motivation to finish writing the 300k slow burn best friend soul mate AU Stucky fic that I've been working on for two years. Capiche?

Steve: Uhh...

Wade: *picks up the case with the stones and gives finger guns at a confused Bucky* Buckaroo, just a reminder that the serum shortens refractory periods and Wakanda is reallll nice this time of the year for honeymoon destinations. *Large Obvious Wink*

Bucky: Uhh...

Wade: *random beeping from his toolbelt* Oh gotta go! Have fun! *disappears*

Sam: *giving Steve and Bucky the Stink Eye* How short is your refractory period?

Steve and Bucky: *redfaced*

Bruce: *sighs and walks off to go make a sandwich*

[hanasnx]

x gon' give it to ya.

MINORS DNI 18+ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ NOTES: @fuckmyskywalker introduced me to the concept of talking to a pussy i think via an anakin smut post and it changed my life so i'd like to dedicate credit to the idea. WARNINGS: fem reader | sex in the suit | deadpool calls himself daddy ironically and talks to your pussy.

A deep groan reverberates from low in DEADPOOL's throat. "Baby, I can't believe how good you look right now, seriously never looked better." he praises, commending the space between your legs as she's stuffed full of every inch of his dick. Another inexplicable thing about his mutation—he grew.

"'Talking to my pussy again, Wade?" you scoff, amused and breathless as you rock back on him, tossing a glance at him over your shoulder. Your spine is in a deep arch over the bed, and the nine inch heels you're wearing are the only reason you're able to compete with his height bent over like this.

"She needs to know what a good job she's doing otherwise she'll get discouraged. Poor thing needs a lot of love." he refutes your judgement, however playful, lovingly stroking the flesh of your ass with his glove. "Give us some privacy, please. Jesus." he tsks, shaking his head at you while you bury your face in the mattress. If his dick wasn't yanking your brains out along with it, you might have more to say. He turns his attention back where your bodies conjoin. "Thank God I put zipper on this thing. Who knew a onesie would be such a hassle to take a piss in?" The sounds of the room are filled with him running his mouth and your cunt's wet responses when he pulls out and shoves back in. "Now look at us." A particularly moistured sound squirts out, and he laughs knowingly, like your hole's said something entertaining at a tea party. "Zipper makes it too easy, you know? We've gotta stop meeting like this, maybe next time we can just sit and talk—"

"Wade!" you giggle, banging your fist onto the mattress. "Just fuck me, already!"

"Don't worry about her, she's just jealous." he tells your cunt, "You and I have something special, don't we? 'Specially when Daddypool says to christen the suit." A wave of wetness wells up from his comment, and he gasps in pleasant surprise. "Oh, you like that, you dirty thing. Next time I crotch-shot a bad guy he'll smell you all over, is that what you want, you freak? C'mere, I'll give you something real to leak about." Big rough hands grip on your hips, slamming into you so hard your ass ripples from the effect, and your happy pussy gargles around the dick it chokes on.

[ichorai]

reset me ; wade wilson.

track twelve of BROKEN MACHINE.

pairing ; wade wilson (deadpool) x mutant!reader (gender-neutral)

synopsis ; charles sends you to recruit deadpool into the x-men. expectedly, the bastard tries to weasel away from you—and when that doesn’t work, he resorts to his most lethal method: flirtation. that, and taping a kick me sign on your back.

words ; 1.3k

themes ; comedy, mild fluff and action, mutant au

warnings / includes ; mild injury/violence, sexual jokes and foul language, a lil bit of banter/terrible flirting, reader has the mutant ability to harness energy into ropes, wade steals blind al's crocs, reader's implied previous romantic relationship with wolverine, mentions of the rest of the x-men :)

Wade’s place smelled like greasy pizza, put-out cigarettes, and old socks. The door wasn’t locked—in fact, it was slightly ajar, and you could clearly hear Wade and Al bickering about missing Crocs.

“I swear I put them right here!” she vehemently exclaimed, gesturing to a potted plant. 

Wade rolled his eyes. “Right—because you always hang your Crocs on our leafy greens.” 

Al shuffled somewhere into the back of the house, complaining loudly to herself. 

You took that as your cue to silently step in, standing just behind Wade, noting with mild amusement that he was wearing a pair of white Crocs. The very ones Al was searching for, you presumed.

In the blink of an eye, Wade whirled about on the heel of his squeaky, rubbery footwear and brandished a knife. Its strangely warm blade slotted against your throat just as you defensively raised your hands.

“Watch it, Wade,” you warned, though you were not at all worried. His knife lowered and flipped back into the depths of his fluffy bathrobe when he realized who you were. 

“Oh. It’s you,” he said. The discolored flesh of his face twitched with a grin. “Did Mr. Metal Dick send you? The bullwhip substitute to watch over the class?” He snickered at his own joke, recalling your mutant ability to harness energy into the form of ropes.

“Piotr is off on vacation with Kitty,” you replied, propping your hands up on your hips.

Wade tipped his head back and guffawed. “Do you think he stays that way under the sheets?”

With a grimace, you pinched the space between your brows and sighed loudly. “Jesus, Wade—I don’t fucking know. Why don’t you ask him next time you see him?”

“Good idea.” He shuffled off to shuck open a box of day-old pizza on the table. “You want?”

“No thanks.”

“You sure? It’s pepperoni. You know how expensive it is to get pepperoni nowadays, in this economy? I’m offering you gold flakes on bread, here.”

“Mhm, I’ll pass.” After a considerable silence, only filled with Wade’s loud munching, you tested the waters by saying, “Charles actually sent me.”

Wade gestured at a chair and nudged for you to take a seat. “McAvoy or Stewart?” 

“What? Charles Xavier, who’s McAvoy and Stewart?” You sank down onto the creaky wooden chair, frowning at the baby powder rimming the backboard. It was probably Al’s. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was Wade, though.

Ignoring your question, Wade tilted his head and asked, “How’s Yukio? And her emo-face Megasonic Nuclear Bomb-Head girlfriend?”

You smiled slightly, remembering how they were pestering Logan, who’d been working on fixing a motorcycle back at the mansion when you left. 

“They’re fine. Wolvie, too.”

“No way!” exclaimed Wade. “Logie’s there, too? Jesus—whole damn gang’s there.”

“Except you,” you pointedly said.

Wade paused mid-chew. “Oh. Oh-ho-ho, I know what you’re doing here. Charles wants me to join his rag-tag team of circus freaks.”

“Wade—”

“The answer is no.”

“Come on—”

“And he wants me to be around all those kids? In a school? Has he met me?”

“Believe me, I don’t know what he’s thinking, either,” you told him, scoffing. “You’re the last person I’d expect to be on the team but… I trust Charles. If he wants you in, there must be a reason why.”

Holding his hands out, Wade shook his head. “Listen, I’m flattered, really, but Deadpool works solo. Except for that one time I formed the X-Force. But that was a team of people I hand-picked! The X-Men just doesn’t sound up my alley, y’know?”

You blew out a breath and fixed him with a serious expression. “Some day you’re gonna have to pull your head out of your ass and realize that there are people out there who are willing to be your friends. Your family. Don’t throw it away, Wade.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked as he studied you. 

“You’re really bad with rejection, aren’t you?” he finally asked, quirking up a brow—or, at least where his eyebrow used to be—and crossed his arms. The Crocs he’d stolen from Al squeaked as he stood up and gestured to the door. “I’m surprised you didn’t go running back to Charles the moment I said no. I’m beginning to think you have a crush on me, or something. Not that I blame you. My face may be fucked but my dick works better than ever. Just ask Al. She’s blind as a bat, but she hears everything in this damn house.”

Immediately, you grimaced. “Ugh. Don’t be crass.”

“What? I thought you were into broken men. Like to pick up their pieces, don’cha? You and Wolvie had that fling once, no? He told me all about it.” 

In truth, Logan had told him little to nothing about his brief relationship with you, but Wade had ruthlessly pestered him anyway. 

You stiffened at his words, glowering. “You’re exasperating.”

“And you’re looking awfully lovely today. That frown really accentuates your eyes. Makes you look about a decade older.” Wade leaned his weight onto the table, leering over you, patting your back twice. “I find it very attractive.”

With a flick of your hand, a crimson coil of your harnessed energy shot out and thwacked him in his side, and he hissed out a string of curses, backing away from you. You’d burned right through his fluffy white robe, to his simultaneous dismay and astonishment.

“Jesus!” Wade glanced incredulously from you to the slight, shallow gash that formed by his ribs, already starting to heal itself. “That’s actually—that was so fucking cool. Do it again!”

Clearing your throat, you pushed yourself away and stood up. “Final time I’m asking. Yes or no?”

Wade pretended to give it a long, hard think. “Mmh…” He wrinkled his nose. “No.”

“Fine,” you said, rolling your eyes up to the ceiling. “When Piotr comes back from vacation, he’s going to find you and he’s not gonna go as easy on you as I have.”

“Ooh, ouch. Hope he brings some lube with him.” Wade grinned wolfishly.

Completely fed up with him, you ripped out a wad of paper and a pen from your jacket’s pocket, scribbling down your phone number. You folded it in half before shoving it against his chest.

“I’m not giving up on you. I’m a competitive person, Wade. If Piotr was the one to convince you to join, I just wouldn’t be able to bear it.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re literally obsessed with me, I get it,” he remarked, sparing you a lopsided beam. He made a show of pocketing your number on the side of his robe that wasn’t burnt. “You little minx, you.”

With a final flick of your hand, you lashed out another coil around his foot, and made your way to the door just as he fell back onto the couch with a muffled oomf! 

Just as you left, you heard Wade cackling to himself through the door you left partially ajar, just as it was when you came in. You chalked it up to him finding it funny that you managed to trip him over with your powers, and strode away from the shoddy house with your lips twitching upwards. 

Wade, however, was laughing because he’d successfully pulled off taping a kick me sign onto your back without you noticing. A low and childish blow, but would certainly make for some fun banter whenever he saw you again—which, he suspected, would be pretty soon.

Plus, Wade thought you were pretty cute when you were riled up.

[spideypool-enthusiast]

i want a team red tv show but i know that it would be a) on disney+ and b) butchered by disney so just imagine this as an opening scene

a somewhat boring waiting room/open area, with a few empty wood chairs with the fabric seat, clearly after hours of whatever establishment (darkened windows, shuttered blinds), and there's a box set tv playing some classic procedural, kinda like law and order, but it cuts from that to wade watching it in one of said uncomfortable chairs, mostly in costume with his mask lifted, eating a burrito, like "damn, this show has not aged super well! lotsa sexual assault, crazy graphic, too, and for network television?! insane-"

you know who's insane? you.

and it abruptly cuts as a web hits the power button, whatever dialogue on the show ending.

and look who's here!

in his full suit as well, peter climbs in through a window he'd opened in the back, stretching his legs as he walks through. "those shows are all kinds of fake, and half the time they pay off the cops, anyway."

"not a fan of copaganda?" and our favorite lawyer, matthew murdock, comes out of a normal door, cane extended as he shuts his office door behind him, the gold plate on it reading his name. he's not in the daredevil suit, normal work attire aside from the loosened tie, as they're standing in the office of nelson & murdock, foggy having long gone home for the day. it's a free—well, rent is paid, for once—place to meet, with full confidentiality, and don't they all need it.

anyway idk where that goes from there but just a scene that came to me in a dream

[nxrseryclouds]

🕸️ A Game Of Telephone And WebShooters

Pairing: Caregiver!Wade Wilson x Regressor! Peter Parker (Loosely Earth-616 Comics Based)

Synopsis: When Wade has to leave a Regressed Peter all by himself- the Spiderling gets a phone call that is too important not to answer! Chaos ensues as Peter messes with the person on the other end! Wade comes home to the aftermath!

Tags: Fluff, SpideyPool, Softness, Regression

Warnings: Use of Pet Names (Daddy, ETC), Fight Mention, Deadpool is being Deadpool.

Word Count: 1,050 Words

Author's Notes: Back with more fluff and good feelings! I’m sick and this piece was a bit of a comfort for me since I’m feeling very yucky! I hope you guys enjoy all of Peter’s shenanigans!

“Come on! I just had this suit tailored!” The black and red clad Anti-Hero shouted at the men who attempted to slash and hack at him like he was some sort of cheap deli meat. It was his luck that they seemed to be really bad at their jobs! Who even hired these people? This was an unfortunate daily, or almost daily occurrence, and it grew a bit tiresome when they all couldn’t even be bothered to even aim properly. That was just how things went for Wade Wilson, though most of these guys only knew him as the one and only Deadpool. These men were supposed to be more efficient at their jobs and they could hardly make a dent on him! Which he supposed he should be thankful about, he needed this whole ordeal to be handled sooner rather than later. He really couldn't show up full of bullet holes or wounded. This was because back at the shared Wilson-Parker apartment was an unsupervised Peter Parker who was fully regressed. Wade never seemed to mind when Peter needed some time to be free from all of the responsibilities of Spider-Man, however his own duties had called and he was whisked away from his little spiderling. He cursed under his breath when he received the call, settling his Little on the couch with Legos and a bit of breakfast. That would have to keep Peter occupied until he was finished, it wouldn’t take him too long. Or he really hoped it wouldn't.

Back at the apartment, Peter had finished his breakfast quite quickly. If Wade had been there he would have scolded him about the possibilities of choking and terrible stomach-aches, however the man was nowhere to be found. This hardly bothered Peter, before he had Wade he had always regressed by himself. Both looking after himself and keeping himself occupied, he knew what he liked so it was never too difficult. This time he was focused on assembling the Legos that Wade bought him. Though it was technically an activity for Big Peter, Little Peter was smart enough to build the set without chewing on any of the miniature pieces included in the set. He snapped the little bricks together bit by bit, following each page of instructions as best as he was able. Some of it was sloppy with a few bricks misaligned here and there, but he certainly tried his very best. His eye would occasionally flicker upwards, idly watching whatever was playing as background noise, though most of his focus was on the Legos themselves. Last time he stopped paying attention it resulted in pinched fingers and too many tears, he did not want to repeat the same sort of mistake as last time. Though just as expected boredom eventually had seeped in, Peter was looking for something else to keep him occupied. First he tried watching cartoons, but they weren’t as fun without Wade making funny commentary. Then he tried to play with his web shooters, but it made a horrendously sticky mess that he attempted to hide in the trashcan and under the couch cushion. Wade would certainly lecture him on that later, but he was not here. What was left for a spiderling to do?

Though his thoughts became derailed at the sound of ringing, a ringtone that was certainly not his own. No. It was his Caregiver’s phone! Wade must have left it behind when he hurried out the door, a simple mistake. He toddled toward the sound, grasping the vibrating device in his hand. The number displayed was unknown, but that did not make Peter any less curious about who might be on the other end. His finger swiped the accept button, simultaneously pressing the speaker button so it was not blaring in his already sensitive ears. “Hello?” Though his voice came out rather childish, the other person on the phone either did not hear him at all or did not seem to care. “Wade, we know it’s you! Stop this nonsense and let our men go!” The man sounded panicked, almost startled. That must mean that his Caregiver was doing a good job! “Who’s Wade?” It is not like Peter was unaware of his Caregiver’s identity, but that’s not what he called him! Usually it was Daddy, Dada, Bub, Bubba, or something in a similar sense. The person on the other line paused for a moment before speaking, he seemed stunned. “Who is this?” The man’s voice was rough as he attempted to pry logical answers out of Peter. Though to him it was like a silly game! “Petey.” He answered back honestly, hearing a loud but exhausted sigh on the other end. “Okay Petey, go get Wade.”

“Nobody named Wade lives here.” The man on the other end was clearly losing his patience because his tone became a bit harsher. “Is there an adult I can speak to? Anybody beside yourself?” Peter thought for a brief moment before the lightbulb in his head seemed to light up. “Yeah my Daddy!” His voice sounded far more ecstatic when he announced that. To which by some coincidence, Wade himself walked through the door. Almost as if on cue, he was quite good at comedic timing. Peter made a silent gesture with his hands, wanting to be picked up despite the male’s disheveled appearance. To which Wade indulged as he scooped up Peter and the phone, awaiting the response from the other line. “Well tell me then, what’s your Daddy’s name?” To the man’s dismay he would again not receive a genuine answer as Peter proudly shouted “Daddy!”. The sound of the phone call ending echoed for a moment before Wade kissed Peter’s cheeks and nose. “Cheeky Spiderling! What did Daddy say about his phone? Also don’t think I missed the little webs everywhere. Such a naughty boy!” Wade’s chastisements were full of love and adoration, no anger or genuine distress. It just meant a couple of things: Peter needed a bath, He needed to vacuum up the webbing, The living room needed to be cleaned, and he had a certain someone to call back. Guess this was a lesson learned for the Caregiver after all. Don’t leave your spiderlings unattended, they may do some pretty crazy things while you’re away.

[lilacprincessofrecovery]

Marvel x Female Plus Size Reader Preferences - Insecure

WARNINGS: Weight insecurity, self depreciation, body image issues Angsty Fluff

Note: Again this one is not edited. Written on phone.

Word Count: 1827

Tony Stark

“Hey, I have two tickets to the MET if you are up for it tonight, Babe?” You shrugged while kicking a magazine under the bed. “What was…” He walked over and grabbed the magazine you kicked and he looked at the cover. “Who’s Stark’s Best Looking Girlfriend?” He whispered out loud and then frowned, eyes furrowed trying to understand why they would do that and then gets angry. “Do you believe this shit?” She looked at him like a deer in headlights. “I repeat y/N, You don’t believe this shit. Do you?” Her eyes filled up with tears as she watched him flip to the pictures of the beautiful women that Tony had been seen with and saw an article saying she should lose weight and that’s when his temper got to him and he threw it at the window breaking it with his strength. “Damn them, Y/N! You are hot as Hell.” “I’m not a bunny.” “You know what? I’m glad. What have they got to offer other than a quick night?” She shrugged, “I don’t know I’ve never been thin.” Tony laughed and kisses her. “It’s not funny, Tony.” “It’s just ridiculous that you believe STORIES that people write about you. STORIES. Stories aren’t real.” “I kinda live in a superhero world here. All stories seem like weird and are probably real.” “Precisely. The stories are usually twisted around til they are bad. Don’t listen to them. It’s the ignorance of people who are jealous of others and want to see celebrities or heroes fall. Don’t let them make you fall. They are nothing to take to heart. Just false stories. False.” “Tony, I want to make you proud.” “You’d say I’m a genius… well everything I say is right so there. You are attractive. Boom. That’s truth. Don’t mix the two babe between stories or truths.” He kisses her again. “We’ve got to work on your self esteem. and y/n you do make me proud. Every day.” 

Bucky Barnes

“Are you always in the mirror?” you looked at your boyfriend as you were popping a zit in the mirror blushing. You were in some tshirt material grey mini shorts and a white camisole completely as natural as you can be without being unclothed. “Well… are you always watching me?” “You know I have to… If I don’t, someone could hurt you.” The fun was taken out of the conversation bringing up her mortality and she shrugged after kissing him as he walked in and went back to the mirror pinching your chubby cheeks as Bucky is brushing his hair taking his shirt off for a shower. “Hey Buck…” One foot in the shower about to turn on the water he looks at her. “Yeah?” “Do you think I look fat?” He was silent. “B…bucky?” He groaned and looked at her. “This question is loaded. I do not know which is good or bad. I don’t know what you want me to say? I guess that currently wafer thin is in. Back in my days it was generously curvy. I don’t wanna upset you, Doll. I know that girls seem to overthink these things.” “Overthink?” He nods and sits on the edge of the hot tub in the restroom looking up at you. “You have nothing to worry about. So try to see that. You look curvy not fat. Ideal.” She nods. “Thank you Bucky.” He smiled soft nodding and gets in the shower. 

Steve Rogers

 “Do you think I need to change how I look?” Checking her reflection in a window to the conference room where all the avengers were sitting, another annoying probably pointless meeting about coffee cups Tony was scheduling. Steve didn’t mind missing one boring meeting to help his number one girl. He took her hand before he walked in the door and took her to his room. “Why would my best girl want to change how she looked?” “Did someone say something to you darlin?” He kissed the top of her head looking down at her eyes. “Tell me. Did someone make you feel inferior?” “No one other than myself Stevie.” “I wish you could see yourself how I see you. Your weight gives your body shape. My weight does the same.” She almost giggles. “Steve you are the most fit man I’d ever known. You have abs galore.” “Doesn’t make me less human.” He says caressing her cheek. She got the point.

Peter Parker

“I got a message from this teen modeling agency… you know the ones they always send out? From school? They are having a contest… Do you think I could beat Peter?” She said, poking at her upper arm. Peter sighed and got on his knee in front of the mirror and sat her on it, her back facing the mirror looking at him, and looked up at her. “Do you really want to enter this contest thing?” She shook her head. “I just wanna be pretty, Peter.” Tears started streaming down her face. He took her face in his hands. “They hurt things that are most beautiful… that they just don’t understand... I just don’t want them to make fun of you like you fear. I think you could win every modeling thing in all the universe. Trust me… I would know. I’ve been. But hey… My opinion is all that matters. Right?” She smiled softly nodding tears flowing slower looking up at him. “Don’t cry anymore. Please it breaks my heart.” She nods and hugs him tight.

Loki Laufeyson

“Loki! I’m so big! This dress doesn’t fit!” she screamed. “You aren’t big,” Loki walked over to her slowly and he looked at his queen who was struggling to fit into her new dress. “You are literally the God of lies. Why should I believe you?” Loki looked down at her. “So, I am to be chastised for a century long characterization that was placed on me. Like you’ve been labeled ‘fat’? Should my words mean nothing because of what other people have  decided to call me for mistakes I may or may not have created in the past?” “You know every dress must be fit and tailored to the woman by a seamstress. I see nothing wrong with you needing it to be let out my queen.” She thought, “Loki, I love you.” he grinned his typical charming yet misleading smile but truly meaning good. 

Thor Odinson

She looked at the scale in the corner of the bathroom. tears welling up and he shakes his head keeping her from making a mad dash to the number machine. “Do you only care about size? I didn’t think you were that shallow.” she sighed. “What if I were a larger than average male? Would you hate me as much as you hate yourself and want to leave me?” Not had told her about his time being overweight and down in the dumps. “You make it seem like weight is the only thing that matters… in your mind. It’s not the only thing in the world. In fact I could care less about the whole thing. There are worse things in the world. The nine realms even…” “but Thor the other girls…” “Yes… girls… I thought you were a woman, mi lady. I want a woman.” He arched a brow looking down at her hugging her now. She smiled softly. Then answers his question. “No. I would love you anyway.” “I used to weigh more than you do.” Not knowing that was the wrong thing to say. “You are so fit Thor. Why did you want me?” “I love you. I could go on all day about how much I adored you.” “You may have to.” “Of course. You have sparkling eyes. You have beautiful hair. Your body is as the waves of the ocean. Youre more beautiful than you can even imagine.  You are smart. You are strong. You are incredible. You are……..” Thor continued with sweet nothings as he cuddles with her. 

Clint Barton

“Take a picture it may last longer.” Clint arched a brow standing against the bedroom door frame at his beautiful girl. “Hey clint.” She said in a small voice and she posed one last time in the mirror before turning to face him still in the doorway. Never having seen her like this before. “You know that you are a bigger girl. Yes?” Tears started flowing from her eyes. “I’m sorry I’m too fat for you!” Clint just looked at her shaking his head and uncrosses his arms and walks across the bathroom floor to go to her and pulled her in a strong hug. “I couldn’t be without you. I truly don’t care about the weight.” 

Deadpool

After Wade lost Vannessa and he came to terms with it, he saw her. She was everything to him, Instantly. As quick as it was with Vannessa. He had to be hers. The only thing is that this girl was bigger than vanessa. It would had bothered him before the change to his own body before Ajax (frances ;D) got ahold of him. But he watched her walk and loved how her body swayed to its own beat. One day he found her staring in the mirror, about 6 months from when they originally met and she moved in. He had just come home from a long long fight day with Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead at a nursing home oddly enough. “Hey… y/n!” he skipped in and flopped on the end of the bed posing in a laying down position propped up on his elbow and he shakes his head. “Hey, Wade…” He noticed she seemed out of it. He got up and smacked her bottom. “What are we looking at?” trying to keep the mood up. He looked over her shoulder, his chin was on, hands on her hips, looking in the mirror with her. She didn’t answer. “Don’t frown.” He smiled softer letting the mood fall seeing how insecure she really is at the moment. “Wade…” She brushed off his hands from her hip and tried to walk away from him but him being stronger than her that of course didn’t work. He kept her in place. “What are we looking at?” “My huge body…” she closed her eyes not to see what Wade’s eyes may be looking at if he was as disgusted as you were. Wade shook his head. “Babe… I wouldn’t be with you if you weren’t sexy as Hell. Make me shallow or not… I’ve seen lots of hot girls but YOU are sexy.” He kissed her shoulder blade. She smiled and kissed his cheek. “Thank you Wade.” “You put up with the earthquake lines that is my face so you get respect too. I’d think you were hot anyway though.” He kissed her lips passionately.

[manlicker69]

How would you feel about doing some Noir or L headcanons with a police officer or private detective s/o? 😘 I super enjoy your writing!! It’s good that see that your account is progressing so much! Ignore if you feel like it, be sure to have a good day!

Ooooo I really like that!! I'll write them on a separate post and @ you when it's done!! I'm super glad and really appreciate your kind support :3

My requests are OPEN!!

EDITED :: it’s all done!!! go to my master list to find :3

[adsdragonlover]

Work Song

A Spideypool Songfic Drabble,

Thank god for Hozier

Peter trembles as he finally finishes speaking. It still hurts to talk about all those he’s lost. Ben, Harry, Gwen. So many of his loved ones laid in the cold, dark earth.

He can’t look at Wade, too ashamed.

“It’s not your fault,” Wade says, and Peter flinches.

“Yes it is,” Peter whispers. “It’s- all my fault. I’m the reason they’re in the ground.” He clenches his fists in the spandex of his suit, not caring how it’ll warp the fabric.

“I could’ve stopped the man who killed Ben. But I didn’t. And then he died. And I- I should’ve been able to help Harry. I should’ve- I could’ve tried harder.” He hastily wipes at the tears that are beginning to fall. “And Gwen,” his voice cracks. “I didn’t catch her.”

“She’s dead. They’re all dead. And I- I’ll never forgive myself.”

Wade reaches out and takes Peter’s hand. “I don’t really know what to say,” he admits. “But I don’t blame you.”

Peter sighs and squeezes Wade’s hand. “If it makes you feel better, you can’t kill me. No grave can hold my body down. I’ll always come back to you.”

Peter smiles, pulling Wade into a hug. “Thanks.”

[tonystarktogo]

Tony Stark + rumors = utter madness2 * π or something

It’s crazy!” Brock lets out a long-suffering sigh. “You can’t hire anyone these days without having them ask you all about Stark, whether he’s really a villain and if maybe that makes it alright that their kids look up to the guy so much, and if I can tell them anything about his plans once he deems the world ready to acknowledge his absolute reign.”

He clonks his head against the table, much to the amusement of his audience.

“Underlings,” Victor van Doom mutters derisively. “This is why Doom does not trust humans but robots.”

“Sure,” Deadpool smirks -- well, technically nobody can tell, what with the mask and all, but really, with that tone of voice it’s impossible for him not to be smirking -- ”Because Stark is just so terrible at dealing with robots. Guy isn’t just a hot piece of ass, y’know?”

Doom doesn’t deign that with a response which leads Brock to suspect he doesn’t have one. 

“Hey, Loki?” Brock frowns down at the cards in his hands. Poker is still fun, but ever since they started what one of Loki’s minions insisted on naming ‘Fantasy Avenging’ it’s just not as fun anymore. “What with all that god of lies and mischief shit, couldn’t you figure out if Stark really is a hero? Like, smell if he’s lying or something?”

Loki smirks, a sure sign that Brock is about to be mocked. “Deceit is indeed a language I have long since mastered,” he twists his hand in a careless gesture that, looking back, Brock is sure means the bastard cheated because fucking magic, “yet you seem to forget that the knowledge all the lies in the world does not grant you insight into the truth beneath.”

“So, in other words, you’ve got nothing.”

That at least earns him a cool glare. “I should like to smite you where you stand, mortal, where it not for the occasional entertainment your foolish bumbling provides.”

“I’m sitting,” Brock deadpans.

“Brock and Loki, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-” Deadpool coos, then suddenly breaks off, which Brock interprets as him wanting to bring the conversation back on track--which proves just he is just as interested in the matter of Stark as the rest of them. Unsurprisingly. These days you’d be hard-pressed to find a villain who isn’t interested in Stark.

“Doom would not expect the Man of Iron to have the heart to be of traitorous nature.” Doom licks his lip thoughtfully and folds.

“Good point,” Brock acknowledges. “But can you imagine if it were true?”

That gains him the undivided attention of his fellow players in an instant.

“I’m just saying.” He shrugs. “It would be...almost impossible to pull off, but tactically speaking it’s not a bad plan. Take them down from the inside out instead of attacking outright. It’s what HYDRA did after WWII. Hiding themselves inside SHIELD until they were strong enough to strike...” he trails off, realising that what he almost said out loud were the words ‘if anyone’s gonna pull it off it’d be Stark’. 

“Well shit.”

They are so fucked.

Deadpool gives him the fingerguns.

[ifridiot]

For the mini fic: Cablepool, with the prompt 'noise'

Noise

There's a noise Cable makes when Wade does something just right, and call Wade a sucker, but he can't get enough of it.

It's not (shockingly) a sex thing. Or at least, not strictly. Wade can get Nate to make the sound when they're in bed (or on Nate's couch, or in the kitchen, or wherever else clothes happen to come off), but it's just as likely to happen elsewhere.

It's an approval sound, low and throaty, somewhere between a grunt and a hum. With Nate's growly Charlton Heston voice, it's a sexy sound, even when the moment isn't right for sexy things.

Just a little sound, soft even, but Wade loves it. He finds himself, on his best behaviour – or at least his most useful behaviour – going out of his way to make it happen.

[luxesiren]

⸻ 𝐖𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

cw :: nsfw content (MDNI)

a/n :: i love this man so much. i don't think yall understand this big ass man? i love him so much and i want him.

{✰} sfw ::

{✰} wade is a mercenary but he keeps his work life away from you so you don't get hurt because he doesn't want to lose you.

{✰} wade is always joking around with you, his one goal is to make you laugh every day, even when he's not with you. he always sends you messages and voice memos which make you laugh.

{✰} wade loves cooking and he would get all dramatic and make you a full-course meal as if he's on chopped or something. he wants you to pretend to be gordon ramsay

{✰} wade loves spending money on you, he doesn't use the money for anything besides food and rent for his apartment, so he loves spending it on you. whatever you want, he gets it for you. any time you go out to dinner wade will threaten to drop your wallet off a cliff because "why're you trying to pay? don't do that again or i will throw your wallet off a cliff and into some water."

{✰} wade would get matching nails with you, whatever set you get, he's ready to get a matching set.

{✰} wade doesn't like to have his mask off in public because of his scars and at first, he didn't even show you his face half the time but now that you guys have been together for so long, he takes it off around you because he knows it doesn't phase you.

{✰} wade loves physical touch so naturally, he would be all over you. wade likes to think of himself as a murderous teddy bear that only really cares about you.

{✰} wade doesn't like arguing with you unless it's playfully and not about anything serious but if it's a serious argument then he will start to get anxious and unconsciously start to self-sabotage.

{✰} wade gets emotional over chick flicks and when you ask if he's crying he'll say, "of course not...it's just a little dusty in here."

{✰} wade likes bringing you souvenirs from the countries he's visited for work and he brings you random trinkets that you will never use but he lights up when he brings them to you so you put them on display around your shared apartment.

{✰} nsfw ::

{✰} wade loves kissing, he likes the feel of your lips on his. he likes to suck on your bottom lip making you whine into his mouth.

{✰} wade is possessive and jealous, he will mark your neck just so everyone could see that you're taken and no one else could have your attention. he wouldn't blame you for being ogled but he would take it out on you, fucking into you so roughly and so deeply while you cry into the sheets, "fuck, you're mine. this pussy is mine. say it, say it's mine." you couldn't do anything but moan loudly and say exactly that, "fuck, daddy! it's yours, i'm yours!

{✰} wade is into thigh riding. he will watch you chase your release on his thigh before fucking the way you want him to, he ultimately wants to see you beg him to fuck you.

{✰} wade is 100% into praise and degradation, he wants to make you're okay with it before he says something that triggers you in bed.

{✰} on occasion, wade likes to be restrained. he likes when you have some type of power over him, makes him cum harder and he likes when you tease him. he keeps handcuffs by the bed just for this specific moment, you're in his lap and taking your time riding him - slowly grinding your hips just to make him beg you, "please, baby.. let me fuck you, please."

{✰} wade is into choking, he loves to see his hand wrapped around your throat while he has you in a mating press, pushing all his weight onto you and fucking you deep enough to make you cum over and over.

{✰} sometimes when wade is feeling very needy, he just needs you. times like this, he'll take his time with you, fingering for a long time to make sure you can take him, eating your pussy like he's starving before he fucks you nice and slow saying how much he loves you. "i love you so much, baby. so good for me, taking all of me so well."

{✰} speaking of... wade is a munch. he will happily lap at your slick, sit you on his face, and grip your thighs while you ride his face, using him for your own pleasure. he would also take the opportunity to overstimulate you, your thighs wrapped around his head trying to push him away having already cum twice but he wants more from you.

© 𝐥𝐮𝐱𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧 | all rights reserved to me. please do not steal, copy, or repost to other websites.

[the-butterfly-blues]

Movies, Shows, and Characters I Write For:

Moon Knight

Marc Spector

Steven Grant

Jake Lockley

Daredevil

Matthew Murdock

Foggy Nelson

Frank Castle

Spider-Man

The Amazing Spider-Man Peter Parker

Spider-Verse Peter B. Parker

Spider-Man Mary Jane Watson

Venom

Edward Brock

Triple Frontier

Santiago 'Pope' Garcia

Francisco 'Catfish' Morales

Life

David Jordan

Rory Adams

Annihilation

Kane

What I Write:

Typically, One-Shots, Drabbles, or Miniseries. I don't mind Headcanons, but I can't promise that it'll be good.

Platonic and Romantic relationships.

Mainly Comfort and Fluff, Angst on occasion.

Smut or NSFW. I'm not that good, but practice makes perfect, right?

What I Won't Write:

Ships, i.e. Marc x Layla.

No Male Readers, I'm sorry.

Anything racist, political, pedophilic, etc.

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! And check back every once in a while because I might've added a new character!

[hanasnx]

MINORS DNI 18+ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ WARNINGS: fem reader | dirty flirting | suggestive material | it’s not dubcon, it's just you and deadpool's dynamic.

Like a stray cat, a mercenary hangs around your neighborhood. At first he was cute, you'd leave some food out for him, he'd hit on you shamelessly and in a million different shades of dirty, and then you wouldn't see him for six months. It got old quick, especially because he didn't care that you weren't interested. As if flirting with you was a hobby, he didn't mind that he wasn't getting anything out of it besides your irritation.

It's late, but you might as well take your trash out. You didn't bother to cover up when it's hot and humid out. In a crop top and the littlest shorts you own, you step out, immediately greeted with the familiar tune of DEADPOOL's voice.

"Braless—brave." he notes, and you slump in place, turning to see how he lays precariously on the railing of the fire escape. He gestures to his own chest with a flourish of gloved fingers, "Me too. Burn 'em, I say. The 70's were good for something." He nods his head.

You sigh through your nose, dropping your bag to let it sag pathetically on the asphalt. "What do you want, Red? Blowing through my part of town coincidentally again?"

"Oh, no coincidence, sugar." he tsks, and wags a finger at you before gracefully swinging off the railing to flip to the ground. You roll your eyes at his showmanship, and retreat to the backdoor of your apartment building, followed leisurely by the Merc. "Can't a guy say he missed you? Visit suddenly without calling? Golly, a man can't partake in a little light stalking these days."

You round on him, pointing a warning finger in his mask when you catch him watching your tits swing under your shirt. "Nips are hard. Excited to see me?" he asks with enthusiasm, meeting your gaze and you guffaw at him, taken aback with a hand on your hip. "Turn around, lemme see the back again—"

"'Excited?' What part should I be looking forward to? Your outdated jokes or when you make passes at me until you get it all out of your system?" You lean forward, gesturing to your enunciating mouth. "Read my lips, Red, it's- not- happening." Unknowingly, you'd lowered your voice, that sultry tone lulling Deadpool into your direction like a pie on a windowsill.

"Oh, baby, if you could see my face, I'm grinning under this mask right now." he confesses, chuckling under his breath. "Love it when you play hard to get." He straightens to his full height, sighing with relief. "Your place or mine?"

"Red—"

"Seriously, you gotta give me a twirl or something, I'm getting blue balls over here. You take a little stroll in your little jammies and I've got a halfie, throw me a bone."

You scoff at his audacity, as fat and veiny as always, and back away. "I'll see you next time, Red."

"Hopefully you'll see this boner next time, it'll be waving to you like a flagpole flying my tighty-whities." he calls after you. He knows he's exhausted his welcome this time, there'll be another opportunity soon enough.

[ichorai]

dancing choose ; wade wilson.

track three of DEAR SCIENCE.

pairing ; wade wilson x gn!platonic!reader

synopsis ; when you said he’d come crawling back to you on all fours—you weren’t really being serious.

words ; 2.3k

themes ; comedy, action, angst

warnings / includes ; strong profanity, graphic depictions of blood/injury/violence/trauma, mentions of getting drunk and high, sexual innuedos, wade makes fun of vegans i'm sorry, one mention of edward cullen our sparkly vampire, hulk's ben and jerry's ice cream flavor, dumpster flowers, rumor has it wade is still waiting for the avengers to reply to him to this day, getting beat up by girl scouts, mentions of carnage bcs yes carnage and deadpool did fight in the comics, and mhm wade is quite literally on his hands and knees for you in this one

main masterlist. 

Wade Wilson wasn’t good at life. If there was an award that went to the person who was the worst at existing, it’d go to him annually. He sucked at maintaining healthy relationships, consistently neglected his own well-being, and rarely ever took anything seriously. On the grand pyramid of shitty things that could possibly happen to a person, Wade was most likely at the very tip top of the food chain. He was the great white shark of the ecosystem that were unfortunate events that a person could endure—not that it was something to be proud of. Besides, Wade never really liked sharks. He’d much rather be a seahorse or something in the next life. If he could ever even get out of this life. 

You had once mentioned that he was purposefully sucking at life as some sort of coping mechanism for his childhood trauma, but he merely responded the only way he was really good at—like a three year old throwing a tantrum. He had stuck his fingers into his ears and yelled out, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU! LA LA LA!” 

Besides, what were you, his therapist? 

No, seriously, though. What were you?

You had appeared into his life around three years back, when he crashed clean through several buildings in a row (thanks a lot, Carnage), eating mouthfuls of rubble and inhaling pure dust and shards of glass. After the fourth building he was thrown into, he crashed out of a window, stumbling into you, an innocent pedestrian just on their way to try out the new vegan restaurant down the street. He collided into you with enough force to send the both of you toppling over onto a busy road, asphalt scratching painfully against your cheek. Cars screeched to grueling halts only inches away from the two of you, angry honks erupting from a dozen vehicles at once. Wade almost had the gall to feel guilty for a second upon meeting your wide eyes. Then he spotted your trembling lips start to open into a horrified gape, which then gave way to the most awful, ear-splitting scream he’d ever heard.

He began screaming with you shortly after, because he promptly realized that his legs were gone and the pain was nearly enough to have him pass out.

“FUCK! FUCK, OH MY FUCK! SHIT! JESUS CHRIST, SO NOT COOL, CARNAGE! SO NOT COOL,” he yelled, using his arms to drag himself across the road, spitting out obscenities at the cars honking at him. There was a thick trail of blood and bits of mutilated flesh and skin following his severed knees, and you had to physically force your eyes away before you could feel your breakfast move its way back up your digestive tract. You pushed yourself up onto shaky feet, grabbing Wade’s suited hands and dragging him to the sidewalk with a groan. 

“What the fuck happened to you?” you panted raggedly, staggering away from him as soon as he wasn’t under the imminent threat of being run over by a white man’s dirty Toyota. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Wade winced, completely not fine. “They’ll grow back in a day or two. I’ve had my legs cut off way too many times to count.”

Your brows furrowed. “Jesus. You’re one of those Avengers folk, aren’t you? Fuck.” 

“Nuh-uh! That is so offensive. Just because I’ve got superpowers, doesn’t mean I’m an Avenger! I’ve been sending them my resume for months now, and they still haven’t gotten back to me.”

You had the audacity to roll your eyes. “Listen, hot-shot, I don’t know what I can do for you, then. I have a reservation I can’t miss. Are you gonna be okay on your own?”

“Ooh, reservation. Sounds fancy. Where are you going? You got a date or somethin’?” Here he was, bleeding out on the side of the road, and nonchalantly asking you about your love life. 

You blinked twice. “Yeah…” you started hesitantly. “Just down the street at that new vegan restaurant. It’s my first one with him and I don’t want him to think I’ve stood him up.”

“Must have a humongous penis to get you dressed up all fancy shmancy for the first date. At a vegan restaurant, no less! Listen, here’s a life lesson that I had to learn the hard way: vegans only gain happiness from two things and two things only—tofu and being mean to millennials on Twitter. Save your time,” he hummed glibly. You absentmindedly wondered if he was going loopy with the amount of pain he was enduring. Blood began dribbling from his nose and leaked past his cracked lips, and he sat up abruptly, spitting into his mask. “Oh, gross. Gross! Fuck, all I taste is blood now—Edward Cullen you nasty fucker. Look, I’m sorry to ask this, you seem like a really nice person and I really don’t want to drag you into my shit but I’m gonna drag you into my shit anyways. Do you have a place I could maybe lay low for a while? There’s this really awful alien after me and I don’t think I can take them without losing any more limbs.”

After a beat of silence, you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed heavily. God damn it—you couldn’t just leave him here alone, could you? “Yeah. Yeah, it’s just down a block. Let’s go.”

So, that was how you met him for the first time. Blew off a tofu-loving, millennial-bullying vegan (his theory, you never actually got to meet him), in order to save his ass from a goo parasite from space.

You quickly realized that this was nearly an everyday experience for him. It eventually became a routine pattern. He’d go out, get himself beat up by some otherworldly beings (there was that one time a gaggle of girl scouts beat him to a pulp, but he made you vow never to speak of that again). Then, he’d come slinking back to his apartment where he’d call you and whine until you begrudgingly agreed to come over with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s—specifically requesting the Hunka-Hulka Burnin’ Fudge flavor or he’d threaten to set himself on fire. Dramatic fucker. 

And sometimes he’d come to your apartment, dripping vermilion blood everywhere, or high out of his goddamn mind, or so drunk that he could barely formulate a coherent sentence. Usually it was some infuriating combination of the three. Nonetheless, you’d tuck him into your couch with a fleece blanket and a throw pillow he often complained smelled like nacho cheese, but he slept like a baby despite it all. 

And when you woke up? He was never there. No notes, no crude pencil drawings of dicks on your wall, no trace of him whatsoever. The process would continue to repeat itself a million times over, and you began to find yourself unsettled with your predicament. 

Who was Wade to you? A friend? A stranger? A man who occasionally slept on your couch and constantly made you worry for his well being despite knowing that he was practically immortal? 

The day you finally exploded at him, bombarding him with questions he had no answers to, he hadn’t meant to start yelling back. Insults were traded, scathing and cutting far too deep for either of your liking. He particularly remembered you hissing out, “Please, you can barely even function without me! You’re awful at taking responsibility for yourself, Wade! You don’t eat well, you barely ever sleep if not passed out on my couch, you’re always high or piss-drunk or beaten up halfway to hell! You know how fucking exhausting that is? Taking care of someone that doesn’t give two shits about you? I bet you wouldn’t last a fucking day without coming crawling right back up to my door on all fours! Like a little bitch!”

Wade knew you were just caught up in the heat of the moment—that this wasn’t really you. But damn if your words still hurt. 

The fact that so many of your angry tirades were falling upon deaf ears and a stonily blank expression only seemed to fuel your frustration more, pushing you to the brink of tears glossing over your reddened eyes. That night ended with you telling him to never come back, and you had to physically shove him out of your apartment, slamming the door with such ferocity that the floor rattled beneath his feet for a split second.

Wade had stood outside your door for a full minute before coming to and realizing just how much of an asshole he’d been. You didn’t owe him anything. Hell, the two of you barely knew anything about each other. He began knocking softly, asking you, begging you to open the door, apologizing over and over and over. Then, he proceeded in his attempts to bribe you—with chocolate bars, movie nights, free vegan dinners, the chance to shoot him in the ribs, he put it all on the table for you. He was in front of your apartment for hours. 

The door never opened. 

That was around six months ago.

Now, as he found himself back in front of your apartment after so long, things were different. He wasn’t wearing his superhero suit like he usually did, there were flashcards of what to say in his hands just in case he completely blanked upon seeing you, and clutched in his other palm were half-wilted flowers he scavenged in the back of an alley dumpster (listen, he didn’t have the time nor money to buy you proper ones, so it was the thought that counted). 

After rapping his knuckles against the wood three times, the door swung open. 

Fuck, Wade was nervous. Suddenly his sweaty fingers fumbled and flashcards were fluttering to the ground, making a mess of pink little cards, some filled with doodles of extremely realistic (a style commonly known as ‘stick-men’) depictions of what he thought he looked like while fighting bad guys, and other cards with his lines of what to say to you. He dropped to his knees, hurrying to grab at the scattered pieces of paper.

“I knew you’d be back,” you sneered, staring down your nose at him with thinly-narrowed eyes. “Jesus, Wade. It’s been… forever. I didn’t—I thought something might’ve happened—”

With a heavy sigh, you got down on your knees beside him, picking up some cards with a curious hum. “When I said you’d come crawling back to me on all fours… I wasn’t actually being serious, Wade.”

“Shucks,” Wade said, nervously taking the cards from you, uncharacteristically tentative. “And here I was thinking you were into that.”

Your expression immediately soured. “What do you want from me, Wade? Come to mooch off of me again? Make me care about you and leave just before things get heavy?”

“Y/N,” he breathed out, mentally going fuck it and setting the cards back down on the floor. “You’re wrong. All those months ago you said I couldn’t give two shits about you. I did—I do give two shits about you. In fact, I give so many shits that the toilet would be clogged with just how many shits I give about you! I don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t know how to care for someone properly. I don’t know how I’d do it right. But I wanna try. Please, Y/N, let me try.”

The way your jaw set made Wade swallow nervously. Then, the slight quirk of the corner of your lips made Wade tilt his head in surprise. “Are these… flowers? You got me flowers?”

“Yeah, but they’re from the dumpster.”

“No need to put yourself down, Wade. They’re lovely.” You took the wilting bouquet from his grasp with a mild grin.

He didn’t have the heart to tell you that he was telling the truth. Just as long as you didn’t stick your nose into them, he supposed he’d let you remain blissfully oblivious.

“So what are you asking?” you asked, thumbing the bruised stems of the flowers. “You wanna try being friends? Real ones?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that,” he whispered with a near watery chuckle. “Whose balls did I have to fondle in my past life to get lucky and crash into you all those years ago, huh?”

The way you wrinkled your nose in distaste made Wade snort. “Don’t be crass, fuckwad. I missed you, too, for the record. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean most of what I said that night. I was being really harsh for no reason. There’s nothing wrong with struggling with things like that, Wade, you just need a bit of help, is all.”

There was a beat of comfortable silence before Wade sighed, pushing himself up to his feet, dusting off his pants before offering you a hand up. You took it gingerly, opening the door wider for him to step in. 

Glancing once at one of his cue cards, he cleared his throat. “My name is Wade. Also known as Deadpool, founder of X-Force, and an Avenger-in-waiting,” he declared, gazing at you fondly. “I may suck at this whole living thing, but at least I look amazing while doing it.” When you shot him a halfhearted glare, he lifted his hands in surrender. “Kidding, kidding. I look like a chewed up piece of gum, let’s be honest. It’s nice to meet you… friend.”

The brilliant smile that painted itself violet over your features made just a slight fraction of the same expression mirror itself onto Wade’s face. “Nice to meet you, too. I think we’ll be getting along just fine.”

Wade Wilson wasn’t very good at living, but he liked to think he was just a little better at it now because of you.

[sharkssharpteeth]

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ Movies ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

“I'm wondering, why do all the monsters come out at night? Why do we sleep where we want to hide?”

- “Monsters” by All Time Low (featuring: blackbear)

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

☽ About ☾

☽ Rules ☾

☽ Muses ☾

☽ Navigation ☾

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Fluff - ☀️

Angst - 🌧️

Smut - 🍒

Triggering content - 🔪

Ship - 🚢

Non-Ship - 🧊

One-Sided - 🥀

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Brokeback Mountain

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

Night At The Museum

Scream (Original)