#demonic moms drinking wine

[lxkeee]

HEAVEN AND BACK!

—CHAPTER THREE

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Alastor's Mom! Angel! Reader

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Genre: Romance, love at first sight.

Warnings: none.

Notes: sorry it took awhile, I got lazy lmfao. Also, I listened to caramelldansen when writing this.

CH. ONE | CH. TWO | CH. FOUR | NAV.

It has been a few days since Alastor's mother decided to stay at the hotel, the woman fits right in perfectly with the sinners in the hotel.

Almost.

The angelic woman couldn't get a chance to get to know better hell's very own King, Lucifer.

As Alastor always tries to come in between her and the man.

Is this what Adam called "Cock blocking?" She heard the man say that before and before Adam could explain it to her, Emily explained that it's something where 'You try to talk to someone but somehow there's something or someone stopping you from doing so?' that's what the girl said but did also tell her to not use that term.

How strange.

She sighs, running a hand through her [h/c] locks, careful not to accidentally scratch her own deer antlers. The woman is currently in her 'demon' form, large deer like antlers that are on top of her head, she made sure not to wear bright colors and instead chose to wear something on the darker shades of red, her wings are hidden while her halo was transformed into a golden necklace that hung around her neck.

She rests a leg on top of her other leg as she sits on one of the many cushioned chairs of the hotel, she looks down from the second floor balcony, getting a good view of the hotel's lobby.

“Pray tell, what really brings you here in hell oh dear mother of mine?” Alastor asked beside her, standing beside the seat she sat on, his hand holding his cane-like microphone, he looked at his mother with a grin, though, a confused look in his eyes. He knows his mother, he got his personality from her after all.

Like mother, like son.

[Y/n] giggled, “Overseeing this hotel's progress, isn't that an enough reason to be here?” she answers, eyes closed with a gentle smile on her face. Her eyes opened to see her son's disbelief smile.

Alastor tilted his head slightly, grin widening, “I doubt that is the reason, I was so sure that the celestial realm denied Charlie's plans so,” he says, pausing a bit as he hummed to himself as if he was thinking, “—I was rather surprised that heaven decided to change their minds.” he says with a smirk.

He knows she's hiding something.

[Y/n] can't help but let the sides of her lips twitch upwards to a slight smirk. Clever boy. She thought to herself.

With a defeated sigh, she chuckled after, “There is a reason but heaven cannot disclose that yet. That is the only thing I can tell you.” she explained before raising an eyebrow at him, “Is that an enough reason?”

Alastor tilted his head slightly, his smile widened, humming as he thought to himself, “Hmm... I supposed that is an enough reason and I should stop bothering my mother about it.” he says with a smirk.

[Y/n] playfully rolls her eyes at her son, eyes fixated down below to the lobby of the hotel, [e/c] eyes focused on a certain blond fallen angel who's currently drinking a glass of wine at the bar area.

“Enough of that, I would like to ask you why do you keep on trying to stop me from interacting with him?” She asked, head turning away from the scene below and once more looked at Alastor whose smile had slightly lowered in annoyance, a small scoff leaving past his lips.

“Do I really need to give you a reason, dear mother of mine?” Alastor asked, tilting his head, his voice sounding almost a grimace thinking about the shorter man making moves on her.

[Y/n] just raises her eyebrow at him, a small hum escaping her lips, “Please do.”

Alastor hums, dark red eyes looking down on the folks currently in the lobby, “He's a man, mother. In fact, he's the king of hell. I don't trust him.” he grumbles, the smile on his face is gone and is now replaced with a small frown.

[Y/n]'s face softened, she knows her son's disapproval in men, especially if said men have an interest in her. Her last marriage was a failure and filled with pain and Alastor was by her side through it all.

She can understand why he hesitates, why he tries to put distance between her and the men that come to her life.

"Alastor, sweetheart. Don't worry about me,” She says softly, a small gentle smile on her face. Her eyes closing and opening as she glanced at the people down below, her smile widened as she saw sinners mingled with one another.

She's glad. She's glad that there are souls who are willing to try and earn redemption.

And she's here to guide them.

Alastor looked at his mother, his usual grin now back on his face.

“Besides, the man seems nice. It must be lonely being the first fallen angel.” she says softly, she can't imagine the pain Lucifer must've dealt with. She read about him when she was in heaven, she was curious about the first fallen angel and the heavenly libraries were filled with eons and eons of information and she read everything she can about him. Sera even warned her in case she turns to heresy and Sera made sure to remind her to keep her loyalty to heaven and avoid getting influenced by him.

Alastor hums, “I suppose,” he says with a small nod before giving his mother a side eye, “Though, I don't think I'll be comfortable with the possibility of calling him...” he paused and gave a small gag, “—father.” he says with disgust.

[Y/n] chuckles, “Me? Marrying the king of hell? What an ambitious dream would that be.” she says with a small laugh, flicking her hand sassily.

“I just want to be his friend, the man seems like he hasn't formed any meaningful relationships during his life.” she says with a small giggle and Alastor had to fight back from laughing, “Indeed, he has not.” he agrees with a small chuckle.

“Don't be mean, I didn't raise you like that.” [Y/n] chuckles, elbowing her son on his side which made Alastor let a small grunt before pouting at her, “Apologies.” he says, tone clearly not genuine which [Y/n] can clearly tell.

She sighs exasperatedly.

Alastor chuckles his eyes closing before opening once more to look at his beloved mother, “Oh and another thing,” he spoke, [Y/n] looked at him a quirked eyebrow, a small hum escaping her lips, “Hmm?”

“I would like to express my gratitude in what you have down to the hotel's garden, you've brought life to this godforsaken place. I am sure these sinners haven't seen any kind of greenery ever since they have died.” Alastor grins, his eyes darkened from amusement over the misery of these loathsome sinners.

[Y/n] chuckles, though, questioning where she went wrong in raising him.

“It was nothing, I thought the hotel needed a little green that's all! All of these reds are hurting my eyes.” she says glancing at Alastor with a judgemental look in her eyes.

Alastor just rolls his eyes at her which earned him another harsh elbow to the sides.

Lucifer was admiring the lush garden of the hotel's backyard, he has never seen such greenery before—he did but it was eons ago when he was still divine, but it was eons ago and has already forgotten what it looked like—a large willow tree at the side just by the door to the hotel, the once dried up fountain at the center is now back and running, multiple plants surrounded the area and grass, good heavens, he doesn't remember when was the last time he touched grass.

He doesn't know when was the last time you touched grass, dear reader. Go out sometimes, it'll be good for you.

What was he thinking again? Ah, grass.

‘I broke the fourth wall? You're just seeing things, sweetheart.’ he thought in amusement, eyes staring off somewhere as if looking at something... Or someone.

He just chuckled in amusement before walking towards one of the bushes of roses, the heels of his shoes clicked against the pebbled pathway and he stopped in front of a bush of white roses, the fragrance of the flower immediately filling his nose.

It's been so long. He forgot what roses smell like.

Lucifer's eyes sparkled in awe, his wine red like eyes filled with wonder, his right gloved hand gently caressing the petal of a white rose, feeling its softness—just one of the few species of flowers that bloomed in hell for the first time.

“Do you like it?” a feminine voice spoke out—a voice familiar to Lucifer, a voice belonging to a certain radio demon's mother, the silkiness of her voice—it made Lucifer shudder, “I thought the garden looked bare, I thought some greenery would fix it.” [Y/n] chuckles softly.

Lucifer turns around and sees [Y/n] standing behind him, her hands behind her back. The red knee length dress hugged her curves perfectly—it stole Lucifer's breath away, she's gorgeous.

He chuckles, placing his right hand back to his cane, “Indeed, it has been quite long since I've seen such beautiful flowers.” he says, his voice filled with longing and a hint of sadness that [Y/n] didn't fail to notice but decided not to point it out, “They are lovely, I am grateful for being presented with another opportunity to see such beautiful flowers.” he spoke softly, irises glancing at the flowers briefly before looking back at the taller woman.

[Y/n] chuckles softly, “It's a pleasure,” she says with a small smile, taking slow steps as she walked by his side.

“It was fun growing them and an honor to give the princess of hell her own garden of flowers.” she says with a slight chuckle.

“And with that, I am forever grateful.” Lucifer says with a small smile, eyes shining briefly and for once, it's not dull.

[Y/n] was glad to see the shine on his beautiful eyes, and also seeing a genuine smile on the man's face.

After all, you're never fully dressed without a smile.

“You are most absolutely welcome, sweetheart.” she says with a grin, amusement dancing in her eyes as the rosy spots on the man's cheeks seem to redden even more.

“Ex-excuse m-me?!” he stammers, the endearment catching him off guard, it has been quite some time since someone called him something so... Affectionate.

[Y/n] tilted her head slightly, a feigned confusion on her face. Who knew the king of hell is quite easy to tease?

“Hmm? Is something the matter?” she asked softly, a hint of playfulness in her voice, “Is the nickname not to your liking? Would you prefer darling instead?” she asked teasingly.

Lucifer has never been more flustered in his entire existence.

“Are you normally this mischievous?” he asked, his hand covering his face while his other hand gripped into his cane.

“Usually I'm more.” she answered honestly with mischief on her lips.

“Of course, you're the mother of a certain radio demon.” he said with an exaggerated sigh making [Y/n] chuckle.

“Speaking of him, where is he? He usually stays by your side.” he deadpans, his hand that was covering his face lowered back to hold his cane, he's been wanting to interact with this woman properly ever since he met her but that damn radio demon kept her away.

[Y/n] hums, “I am not entirely sure, I'm sure he is somewhere around the hotel.” she says with a hum in her voice, glancing at the side to see a certain demonic shadow quickly leaving.

This damn brat, she'll teach him a lesson later.

Lucifer just hums, thank Satan. He can't stand that demon and his annoying grin.

Finally recomposing himself, he grins at her.

“Well then, I hope everyone in the hotel is treating you well? I haven't gotten the chance to ask you as a certain someone kept getting in the way.” he says with a small smile but his voice strained a little when he mentioned a certain someone.

[Y/n] hums softly, leaning down slightly to reach the rose bush, her hand gently caressing the petal of a white rose, “Everyone has been nice so far, I'm glad you asked.” she says cheerfully.

“I'm glad.” he says with grin.

“I am glad too.” she said softly with a grin.

Maybe, hell isn't too bad.

Both of them thought at the same time.

© LXKE 2024; please do not steal, translate, or repost my works as your own.

TAGLIST:

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[dreamii-krybaby]

Mom always taught me to take all my chances so-

Today is my birthday :D

Oh my dark gods I feel OLD *cries*

Anyways, since is my birthday..

To all Murder Drones artists, may I humbly request some uh- Yeva fanart? Yes, yes, am insane for this woman ok? She has me on a fucking CHOKEHOLD, curse my ADHD for making me obsess over this silly deceased robot mom who haunts the narrative.

Ofc only do this if you fully want to and can, this is for the sillies and for fun, I don’t wanna make anyone feel obligated!!!

And if u can and want to use a mainly red or red-ish color palette and make her hot, not in a “omg you have a sexy ideal body” way, nah, nah

I mean in a “you have oil dripping from your mouth and look like a deranged traumatized mentally ill vampire/demon omg that is so fucking hot please ma’am take all of the oil you need” way,

or in a “god you’re in so much pain and agony and broken and insane but holy shit does this look like something you could post under #aesthetic in Pinterest” way

Idk make her smoke cigarettes, or drink wine, or just stare into the void to judge your sins, or just be a corpse, or her just casually smiling, or just doing some expression or no expression at all, yeet there some religious/MD symbolism if u want

Or just be a silly lil doodle of her doing whatever

[gilverrwrites]

Their Perfect Date [Human Edition]

Rating: General

Angel Edition | Demon Edition

Please remember: good days are ahead of you.

Adam

Brings you a small bouquet of flowers.

He’s paying for the date (at least the first date), it's just how his mom raised him.

Defo the movie and a meal type.

Some kind of historical drama or action comedy.

Slushy with 2 straws, and the classic yawn and stretch into putting his arm around you.

If all else goes to crap, you can at least talk about the movie during dinner.

Dinner being pizza/burgers from the closest table service fast food place.

Charlie

No gift, actually, it's your job to bring a selection of snacks. (She will also be providing a selection of her own favourite goodies.)

Chips/crisps, candy, pizza.

Bring caffeine too because it's gonna be an all-nighter.

It’s a gaming sleepover – think RE6, overcooked, Mario Kart, Wolfenstein ET, or whatever multiplayer games you’re into.

All on her couch in your hand-made blanket fort, until you both crash, or find another, more intimate activity.

Dean

Won't bring you a gift but will pay for at least the first round of drinks.

Gotta be some unknown dive bar with 50 beers on tap, barrels for tables, greasy food, and a classic rock tribute band that goes hard.

Tasty food, good music, stunning company, what more could a man want.

Also, a pool/foos/hockey tables are a must.

Spend the night drinking, dancing, and kicking his ass at your game of choice.

Bonus points if cook him breakfast in the morning.

Ketch

Would gift you wine(/some kind of alcohol), the fancy kind that’s hard to pronounce. Or if you’re not a drinker, probably a box of chocolate (Fortnum & Mason or a similarly high-end brand).

The date itself, something active but competitive.

Axe throwing, paintball, maybe even go-karting or dirt biking.

Wants to show off for you.

If you struggle to keep up, he’ll give you pointers, help you improve, but won’t pretend to be bad/let you win.

If you’re genuinely good, even good enough to beat him… *heart-eyes*

Sam

I actually think he would really enjoy going to a museum or gallery.

He’s a smart guy, and he loves to learn, but so often it's under s time constraint, or it's specific. 

But on a date, he gets to not only spend time with the person he loves

But he’s able to slowly, casually explore the museum, observing, and learning about each piece without it being for a case.

If you’re the kinda person that always carries a bag, he’d hold it for you all the way through, and hold your hand.

You’re gonna stop and look at everything he wants to look at, and he’s gonna do the same for you.

Heart eyes when you start dragging his mammoth height through the crowds when you get excited to see something.

Debrief and refresh afterwards at the closest café, where you can both gush about your favourite parts.

[fizziepopangel]

"This face was made for radio!"

Alastor is aro/ace but his love language is touch. Having been abused by his father as a child caused him to have a deep seeded anxiety around touch, and now being a demon most fear being in the presence of, let alone close enough to touch in any way, he often ends up being touch starved since most refuse to be around the demon long enough to build any sort of trust that would lead to any sort of touch.

Despite his lone wolf attitude, Alastor has grown quite attached to Husk and Niffty his closest friends. Although Husk hates the fact that this relationship is based in the fact that he is quite literally bound to the radio demon and Alastor has threatened him on multiple occasions, Alastor still considers himself closest to the gambling man.

He views Niffty as a daughter which is why he seems to be just a bit softer with her in a way in comparison to how he is with the others.

Charlie made the decision that they would all have a ‘family dinner’ every friday night where everyone would take turns cooking, she even made a little chart to remind everyone whose turn it was to cook….. Alastor, was quite upset to find that he was the only one excluded from this chart because everyone was afraid his… “unique” taste was a bit too different from theirs given his cannibalistic tendencies.

Although Husk has a deep anger toward the man who owns his soul, he gave Alastor his night to cook for this family dinner after seeing how upset he was given that he was excluded from the cooking chart. Alastor was absolutely over the moon when he got the chance to cook for everyone.

He gravitates toward women that remind him of his mother. Even as an aroace man, he finds that they have a comforting aura and they remind him a lot of home, though he would never admit that to anyone.

Rosie was his first friend in hell and he hated being away from her during his seven year “sabbatical”. The second he came back, he went straight to Cannibal Town to see her, bringing flowers and dinner for the both of them so they could catch up over a nice meal.

Alastor has Husk contracted to him to serve drinks mostly…. But funnily enough, Alastor doesn’t drink very much anymore. A glass of wine or two every now and then, but he’s put most of his drinking days behind him and prefers tea for the most part.

Being quite the mama’s boy when he was living, he still celebrates his mother’s birthday and mothers day despite the fact that his mom isn’t in hell with him. On her birthday, he bakes her favorite cake, and on mothers day, he makes her a card like he used to as a kid even though he knows that he can’t give it to her, while he allows the cake to be eaten, he has a box full of cards he’s made for her over the years in his room hidden in his closet.

Husk, Niffty, and Rosie are the only people who he’s ever talked to about his parents. The radio demon has spent nights crying to Rosie about missing his mother and the home he grew up in, and he’s shown Niffty the photo he keeps of his mother and him from his time in the human world and shown her cleaning tricks his mother taught him… 

Though when he’s spoken to Husk about his parents, it was more like the two of them comparing how shitty their fathers were rather than Alastor talking about how he always thought his mother was a saint. Truthfully, he feels bad about it since he knows his mother was better to him than Husks’s was in most instances and Alastor’s mother always taught him not to brag.

Alastor and Vox used to be friends, but Vox misread their friendship and wanted more. Despite Alastor not wanting to end their friendship, it got weird after he rejected Vox’s advances and Vox got pissy because he hadn’t realized that the rejection had nothing to do with him but rather that Alastor just didn’t really have those feelings for anyone.Vox chose violence, and Alastor didn’t turn down the fight, leading to a feud that just continued to spiral into their current rivalry.

Although he hates the “noisy picture box”, Alastor and Rosie have little sleepovers at Rosie’s home in Cannibal Town where they often watch Hella Novelas together and trash talk the characters.

Alastor became a radio host before he became a cannibal.

His first cannibal meal was a horribly cooked rack of ribs that was served to him at a party after befriending a man who he thought jokingly said he ate other people….. But despite being overly cooked in the worst ways, it was still the best rack of ribs he had ever tasted.

Soon after his arrival in hell, Alastor published the #1 best selling cannibal cookbook in Hell by the title of “Friends For Dinner”. followed soon after by his other three cannibal cookbooks “Nice to (M)Eat You”, “101 Bloody Good Dessert Recipes”, and “Eat Your Heart Out: Valentines Recipes & Breakup Pick Me Ups”. And yes, Rosie has signed copies of each book displayed in her store.

[thedemonknownasbilly]

Howdy! I've got another poly AziraCrow x reader request for you, if you're interested

Ineffable husbands with a non-binary s/o who constantly gets misgendered and deadnamed during the holiday season since they're around family n stuff?

Ik its not malicious and it's out of habit but man, it's not great for dysphoria. Trying to disconnect myself from that so I don't hold it against anyone but. Idk. Sorry for rambling lol.

Sending love 💚

Their Name - Ineffable Husbands x GN!Reader

Boy, oh, boy this hit close to home. So basing a lot of the house descriptions/holiday traditions on my family.

Ineffable Husbands snapping at Reader’s family

He/Him for Aziraphale || She/He/They for Crowley

Great Room - the spare room usually adjacent to the living room, typically where the foyer enters into.

There was a lot you couldn’t tell your family. How your husbands were actually ethereal beings well over six thousand years old, how Aziraphale found a miracle that would help you to live forever alongside them, or how Crowley was the serpent they so often cursed in Sunday Service. But there was one thing you made crystal-fucking-clear, your name and gender identity. You came out as non-binary almost four years ago, telling your family how you wanted them to refer to you in only neutral terms.

You had met Aziraphale and Crowley a year after that, marrying them in secret two years later, just the past spring. Crowley had told you how they used all pronouns, so your favorite pastime was to call him your wife when using he/him pronouns. Aziraphale told you that he preferred he/him but wasn’t opposed to they/them if it was to put a bigot in place. That if he chose to present as a woman again for the first time in thousands of years then he would update such choices. Just a small family the three of you were.

Meeting them had been perfect for your mental health, you weren’t ready to date anyone, and a rainy day led to you stepping into the red and gold bookshop, with plants scattered about, books older than time itself, an angel and a demon running it. And they took you in without a second thought.

“Darling, you seem lost in thought,” Aziraphale broke you from your thoughts, your bottom lip sore from chewing it in stress. “What is it that troubles you?” You looked at him in the rear view mirror, smiling softly as you felt Crowley’s hand on your thigh.

“Just nervous, and feeling bad. I want to tell them about us, all three of us, and yet I’m too scared…” your family wasn’t the most open to anything outside of heteronormative, including polyamory unfortunately, leaving Aziraphale to be the “best friend/co-worker”, he had actually volunteered the title, saying it would look better for Crowley to be your husband since he appeared closer to your age than the white haired Angel did.

“Don’t fret, I know it’s not ideal, but we can pretend for one night.” Aziraphale reassured, his blue eyes seeming brighter despite the dim light in the Bentley.

“We’re here, love.” Crowley said, parking behind your uncle’s familar white SUV. “You two ready?” You looked over to Crowley and nodded, unbuckling and turning back in your seat to give Aziraphale his final kiss of the night.

Immediately you wanted to slink back into the Bentley when you heard a chorus of your deadname being yelled through the house, directing Aziraphale to the dessert table to place the Eccles cake while you set down the ancient wine bottle with the other drinks.

“This is Anthony,” you introduced your husband to your family, he was dressed in their gray button up with his red tie, black blazer and slacks. “And this is our dearest friend Azira.” Aziraphale was done up in his usual outfit except he traded out the faded waistcoat for a newer one.

“What a pity we couldn’t attend the wedding, but I suppose (s)he’s always done things his/her own way.” Your mom said, feigning innocence as your hand tightened on Crowley’s.

“Ah, yes, I suppose that’s what drew me to them. Their fierce determination.” Crowley glared slightly, a faux grin on her lips as they enunciated your pronouns. That was how the night would continue, both Crowley and Aziraphale determinedly trying to correct your family through their own speech.

“That’s it!” Aziraphale was the first to snap, seeing tears in your eyes as he sat across from you at the dining table, luckily the children were eating in the great room, the tv playing football flickered at his outburst. “I have absolutely had it with you lot misgendering them! They told you four years ago that they preferred gender neutral terms and informed you of their very legal name change, what is so hard to accept?”

When your mom went to speak, Crowley interrupted. “Nope, wrong answer there, see it’s not that hard, maybe in the beginning, to adjust, to try. But you lot never tried, did you? Instead our partner here is almost in tears, they were stressed about even coming, but unlike you all, they value you. And yes, I said our partner. Azira is not just a friend, in fact he’s as much their husband as I am.” Crowley rose from her chair and offered you their hand, which you gratefully took, letting him guide you out of the house with Aziraphale following behind you.

“I’m sorry, that was improper and I know that-” Aziraphale stammered out, feeling like he messed up but being cut off when you suddenly hugged him, laughing softly against his shoulder.

“Don’t you dare apologize, did you see their faces? That was so worth it, I have you two, and we’re a big enough family for me.” Aziraphale hugged you back tightly and kissed the side of your head, you felt Crowley press against your back, joining your hug and kissing Aziraphale.

“Happy Christmas, loves.”

“Happy Christmas, dear.”

“Happy Christmas, little devil.”

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

Today's contribution for Disability Pride Month

Obligatory "I don't have this disorder. I'm raising awareness because I'm so fucking sick of women that drink while pregnant bitching about how hard it is being an 'autism mom'". (Autism mom in quotes because a) it's probably not autism and b) the phrase "autism mom" to describe "mom if an autistic kid" is stupid.)

(I'm going to use the term "women" instead of "uterus haver" not to be exclusionary or transphobic. But because I have a severe headache effecting my ability to find words. I am trans-masc. Don't cancel me. I'm not a FART.)

(This is not to demonize people that suffer from alcoholism. Addiction is a very real disability. This is to raise awareness for one of the only known preventable birth defects and hopefully seek help.)

Thank you for the people at @bfpnola discord for checking my post to make sure this doesn't sound eugenics-y.

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD)

FASD (previously known as fetal alcohol syndrome) is a disability that can range from mild to severe dependant on how much the mother drank while pregnant. It only takes one glass of wine while pregnant to cause this disorder

I already know what the fuck this is. Why are you talking about it?

Because your only know about the severe cases diagnosed as fetal alcohol syndrome. You THINK you know what it is. But the reclassification has only come up in like... 2003? Fetal alcohol syndrome is like... the far end worst severity of FASD. And since the new information of it being a spectrum disorder, estimates have the disorder as high as 5% of the population (and I really think it's higher based on some information I'm about to share).

Fine. So what is this... spectrum disorder?

Very good! So this disorder is HIGHLY misdiagnosed as autism. So all those boomers bitching about "the rates of autism going up?" Yeah they probably caused it. Symptoms include low body weight, facial differences, poor coordination, difficulty maintaining attention, poor memory, poor emotional regulation, slower development, poor reasoning skills, issues with the heart, bones, and kidneys, shorter height, shorter head size,

I have all of those things. How do I know it's FASD and not the autism?

That's kinda the issue. The only real way you can know is ask your mom if there's ANY possibility she's had a drink while she was pregnant. I can't stress this enough IT ONLY TAKES ONE DRINK. For instance I have a lot of those issues, but my mom was so paranoid she wouldn't even dye her hair or drink coffee. Like there's NO WAY.

Like what do I do about it?

Mostly get your accommodations met and raise awareness. Like people are still actively drinking while pregnant because they are still under the pre-2000 belief that just a couple of drinks are okay. It's really not. Not to mention most women don't know they're pregnant until 4-6 weeks in. So they shouldn't be drinking if they're actively trying to have a child. Because that increases the risk.

What the fuck. People are drinking while pregnant? I don't believe you.

Each of these claims are linked.

30.3% of all women reported drinking alcohol at some time during pregnancy, of which 8.3% reported binge drinking (4+ drinks on one occasion)

According to the Center for Disease Control, one in 10 (10.2%) of pregnant women in the United States reports drinking alcohol in the past 30 days.

Despite clear evidence that primary prevention of FASD is possible if prenatal alcohol exposure is avoided, up to 80 % of women drink during pregnancy, many before pregnancy recognition

What? Women are drinking while pregnant? That's fucked up.

This is not to say people with FASD are lesser than.

But all of this "curing autism" when most of this "autism" is caused by a pregnant person's ability to stop fucking drinking for literally 5 minutes. THESE WOMEN THAT ARE DRINKING WHILE PREGNANT ARE THE ONES CAUSING ALL OF THIS GIVING "AUTISM". IF YOU DRANK WHILE PREGNANT. IF THERE'S EVEN A SLIVER OF A CHANCE THAT YOUR DRANK WHILE PREGNANT? ITS PROBABLY NOT AUTISM. ITS PROBABLY THIS DISORDER.

I'm just really fed up with all of these "autism moms" that also make "wine mom" jokes and making light of literal alcoholism bitching about how hard it is to be an "autism mom" because YOU'RE THE PROBLEM. STOP LAUGHING ABOUT YOUR ALCOHOLISM AND PUT THE DAMN GLASS DOWN.

But my parents are literally autistic

So they don't really know the generational effect of FASD because the new knowledge is so new. But since FASD is literally genetic issues caused by alcohol while you're in the womb. It's assumed that it can cause issues that are passed down.

But like this diagnosis is SO NEW that we really don't know much.

-fae

[osamucide]

plastic jesus

i don't care if it rains or freezes long as i got my plastic jesus sittin on the dashboard of my car!

wc: 1.5k

cw: gn! reader, dark era, alcohol, smoking, canon-typical violence, dazai-typical suicide mentions/attempts, language, fluff, crack?

reid: kind of chuuya's pov? he is so done with you both. bless his soul. you may also find this on my ao3 linked in my pinned. enjoy :)

. . . .ᐟ

The only other one to have been plucked up out of the dirt by the demon prodigy himself was that brat, Nakahara.

Okay, he wasn't that bad. He was a brat, yes, but you and Dazai certainly played your part in influencing him, and it wasn't like he'd ever take your place. Reason number one on a long list: the kid couldn't hold his liquor.

Teikyuu, some PM-adjacent bar, was your agreed-upon (by you and Dazai; Nakahara tagged along with only half of his own consent) haunt for the night. The interior was dark and decently crowded, dingy but cozy enough to be homely through the air of bar-typical disgust; a speaker pumped out bass from somewhere or another - it was reliable, wandering eyes minimal. When Dazai insisted on a fourth round of shots of American tequila, Nakahara laid his fiery head on the bar, groaning.

"What's wrong, Chibi-chan? Chibi-chan can't hang!" Dazai took every opportunity he could to taunt him. He reached across your lap to shove Nakahara's head upward, outward. "C'mon, Chibikko. You're a fuckin' bummer." Three more shot glasses, packets of salt, and lime slices were dealt in front of you.

Chuuya swatted him away, catching you in the crossfire. "Fuck off, dude, 'have s' much shit to do tomorrow." But shit to do would have to be done violently hungover, judging from the ginger's current state. You wedged yourself between the two before they could embarrass themselves.

"Chu-chan, you're whining," you chuckled, and his face grew as red as his hair.

"Am not! 'M not fucking whining," he insisted, but it sounded even whinier than before.

"Then do this shot with me." You nudged the little clear glass toward him while Osamu took up his own. Chuuya grumbled out a fine. There was one problem: Chuuya couldn't shoot his alcohol no matter how hard he tried, especially when he was already drunk. He didn't understand what the hell it was you two saw (or rather, tasted) in the rancid liquid that made you so eager to down it so cleanly. Regularly, his shots dribbled from the corners of his mouth onto his shirt, or he'd only get halfway through it, and he'd receive a firm reprimanding from one or both of you about wasting the precious substance. He preferred wine, or if he was in rare form cherry schnapps, but no one goes to the bar to drink wine! The two of you would never let him hear the end of it, so he drank the god damn tequila.

The three of you toasted to "your mom," having dedicated your previous three toasts to "this dick" (Osamu), "being enemies of the state" (you), and "how fucking much the two of you make me want to choke on my own vomit and die" (Chuuya). By the time you had downed yours, face clean and unmoved, Chuuya was still looking at his shot contemplatively.

"If you don't want it-"

He took it.

"'Atta boy, kid."

Both you and Osamu watched expectantly, enthusiastically for the recoil. Chuuya's face twisted up, and you poked the lime in his direction. When he coughed and looked toward you with teary eyes and a red nose, you and Osamu giggled like children.

"'S not-" He coughed a bit more. "'S not funny, assholes!"

But it was very funny to you, and the two of you only laughed harder as he hailed a cup of water. Amidst your fit, you nearly tipped your barstool backward - Chuuya might've moved to catch you if you weren't being so goddamn insufferable (and his head wasn't whirling), but his stomach barely had time to drop as Osamu was clumsily wrapping you, chair back and all, in his lanky arms, so short of breath from cracking up that he was almost wheezing. After you were upright again you continued to laugh for such a long time that Chuuya, in his disoriented and half-dissociated state, thought perhaps you'd both finally lost your god damn fucking minds. He was going to have to find his way home, hammered and alone, all because you and Osamu were flaming inebriated morons.

And then you got quiet. And Chuuya grew genuinely concerned, because the two of you were usually anything but (he'd learned that well enough from living sandwiched between both of your rooms in that crummy ass apartment building for the longest three-week period of his life). But you were just being even stupider now - foreheads pressed against one another as you calmed back into the steady drone of the bar music, whispering some things back and forth that he wasn't meant to hear.

Chuuya gagged audibly, and it had nothing to do with the taste in his mouth.

An hour and three shots later, you slipped your poor bartender a generous stack of bills and stumbled your way into the street. It was beyond Chuuya how you two seemed to be able to maintain a straight line as you walked - he trailed a bit behind you, feeling like the unfortunate lovechild of a pair of teen parents. You stopped to light up a cigarette (also an American brand) and he ran into you. He wanted to push back at the way you snorted, but he realized you were only doing so because he was toppling and you were holding him up. He bit back his bitching. You were stupid, sure, but he did let you drag him along after all, and his blood felt too hot and his mouth felt too sticky for him to send shots right now.

"You want a hit, Chu-chan?" But he waved you away because nicotine probably would've made him yark immediately.

Not once in Chuuya's short visceral life had he ever seen someone fluster Osamu Dazai until you, and vice versa. It made him nauseous to admit it was sort of cute, but even further, he'd never admit it made him nauseous because, truly, the two of you found joy in nauseating people with how in love you were. Though he'd never heard those words out of either of your mouths, it was excruciatingly obvious that you were two sides of the same coin. You looped your arm around his, Dazai took the other, and he trotted along in his stupor with your help, sandwiched in between you once again (and equally as annoyed about it as he was before). The smoke never left your fingers but Osamu hit it often, lifted to his lips above Chuuya's head. You guys talked about something, but he could barely keep up. He was fucking obliterated. All he knew was that your words joined seamlessly with Dazai's, your banter flowed like dual-colored beads being strung alternatingly down a cord, and the warmth between the two of you made him feel kind of soft. He knew that later in the early morning he'd be hunched over the toilet - he could picture it vividly, you would be pushing his hair back, Osamu would be calling him a pussy but rubbing his shoulder every so often, and it would be horribly gross and embarrassing and he'd feel like hot garbage - and yet, he'd undoubtedly still get the sense that he was sitting in the backseat of a honeymoon car.

He looked up at you once in the blur of the a.m. and took note of how rosily you glowed, and when he turned toward Dazai, it was like a mirror. Chuuya was aware of that list, too, and none of you were idiots - no matter how much Mori pushed it, no matter what Twin Dark even meant, you alone were the sole complement to Osamu, the dead ringer, the only one fully cognizant of and attuned to his turbulent unpredictability. Perhaps that was why you were heading toward the water with him now.

"You fuck!" one of you called; he wasn't sure which. Chuuya was too busy crumbling to the ground in a puddle of himself, sweaty and pinching your cigarette between his fingers. When had that gotten there?

And you chased Osamu off the rocks into the river, current unhurried, undemanding against both of your bodies when you fell in. Chuuya didn't think too much of it when you bobbed under, because he knew you'd come back up connected at the lips - no, ever since you, Dazai hadn't really wanted to kill himself. Not yet. He knew it that day you all went to get high at the beach when you asked him to jump in with you and he hesitated for the smallest second. Not human? Chuuya wanted to laugh. Dazai had suffered, yes, but Dazai had loved. That conceded dissent in that beat of silence was the most human thing one could hope to achieve, and god damn it, Dazai had done it, with everything he was, in the face of the human he loved the most. He'd jumped in with you anyway, but there was no intent to die.

Without fail, you both walked him back home, drenched.

[cozy-earthbaby]

3 of a Soul - (part 3)

(Repost)

---

(A/N - Everyone is over 18 to make life easier)

---

Jason was pissed.

There was nothing really else about it.

It started with Replacement.

Jason had asked him the check out a new cafe that had popped up close to his turf that was giving him all the wrong vibes. Just standing outside the place made Jason's skin crawl and the pits go wild. Obviously, there was something wrong with the place, and who beast to sus it out than the most paranoid of the Bats? So far so good. Then Tim kept going back, and not even going back to investigate. No. He was gone for hours in there just enjoying himself and getting unrelated work done.

That really set Jason's mood off.

So, what did he do?

He got Dicky involved.

Who then dragged along Demon Brat.

Surely, they would get to the bottom of what was going on, right?

Wrong.

They had become just as bad as Tim! Dick was even stopping in there as Nightwing before patrols and getting a drink to go. It was getting ridiculous! And it was pissing Jason off to no end.

That's how he found himself standing outside the cursed establishment, swearing to himself as his brothers eagerly pushed him to the door.

"Come on, little wing! This place is great! Just wait till you meet the boys. Danny is a riot! and Pete is such a sweety. They're great!!! Oh. and maybe you'll get to see Ro! They're something else I tell ya! Trust me. You'll love it in there." Dick was clambering on as they neared.

"I swear Dicky. If you make me regret coming here, I'm putting glitter in your shoes." Jason grumbled out bitterly.

"Todd, don't be immature. Danny is harmless, Peter is amiable, and Ro is respectable. There is no need for you to act like a child." Damien chastised in a bored tone.

"Amiable? Respectable? Don't let them hear you say that! You won't hear the end of it." Tim teased out, clearly excited to enter the cafe.

The bell let out a chime as the four of them walked in the door.

Jason immediately felt the pits both rise up and curl into itself. Looking around, he locked eyes with the cause, and the cause looked back. Time seemed to stop, and Jason couldn't take his eyes off the man before him as he approached the counter. He was pale, almost sickly, a tad shorter than Tim but taller than Damien, with impossibly dark hair, eye bags, and the brightest blue eyes Jason had ever seen. His presence both demanded attention and demanded for one to look away. The world froze as their eyes met, eyes matching eyes, the eyes of predators. A lazy grin and a cocked brow rested on the young man's face, looking almost excited. A challenge. A challenge Jason didn't know if he could win. Fear. Jason was seeing green.

"Don't even think about it!" A feminine voice called out, stern and authoritative. From the back came a tall strawberry blonde, standing in what could be described as a 'scolding mom' pose. A handsome young man with chestnut hair and sweet honey doe eyes stood next to them, amused smirk on his face. "Danny. We talked about this."

Like a broken spell, the world returned to normal, not a bit of green to be seen. The pits had gone quiet.

Jason almost felt... at peace.

The young man seemed to deflate into a dramatic sigh. The intimidating aura that was coming from him all but vanished, breaking the illusion of whatever that was.

" But Rooooo! He's perfect! Look at him! Just one little fight, please?? I promise I won't break anything." Danny wined out as he lazily gestured to the group of boys, all but Jason clearly amused.

"No means no, Danny, you heard them! Sorry about Danny, we just got him to stop biting people. Sometimes he forgets." The other boy sang out. His New York accent was strong and playful. The friendly tease caused a snort from Jason's brothers and a dramatic gasp from Danny.

"Petey! 'Att's so unfair! I was just gonna great the guy! Just a little friendly fight!" Danny whined out, flopping onto the other man. "I wasn' gonna be doin anything too crazy! Swear!"

Peter flicked Danny's head, earning a groan. Blinking away his confusion, Jason couldn't help his smile with a chuckle, the two of them were strangely charming how they acted off each other. Dick was right, they were kinda funny to watch. An apologetic smile was sent his way. "Sorry again about that. Name's Peter, this is Ro, and you've met Danny."

"No problem Peter! This is our brother Jason, it's his first time. Jay here heard that we were big fans of the place, and he just had to come with us and check it out!" Dick, by some greater power was ever the social butterfly, decided now was the best time to be laying the charm on thick as he wrapped an arm around Jason. Ro gave a nod before returning to the back. Peter took his place next to Danny behind the counter.

"Nice! Still. Sorry again. Now, what can we get you boys?" The New York accent taking on a friendly, almost playful tone, as his doe eyes crinkled with his smile. The pink on this brother's faces did not go unnoticed by Jason. Interesting.

"The usual for us, Jay will take a Special." Dick said with a wink.

"Awesome! One special order and three regulars coming right up!" Peter rung them up, then dragged Danny to the back, who complained the whole way.

"Tch. Danny is defiantly an idiot. Drake, you need better taste. " Damien said with no real malice.

"He's not so bad once you get talking to him. He's just got some weird thing about trying to fight people right as he meets them. Peter swears it's just how things are back home for him. I don't know. It's kind of funny to see." Tim spoke as his face reddened. Defiantly Interesting.

Jason decided to keep how Danny effected the pits to himself for now.

Guess Jason will be returning to this cafe as well.

---

Tags:

@the-ghost-trader @saphirecross @the-autistic-spider @emeraldcorpral @randomkiddoscrewingaround

[shootingshinestar]

Ateez as types of drinks thread ⤵️

This was in my notes for a while, and now I finally gotten around to it, lol.

♤

Hongjoong as soda 🥤

Soda comes in different varieties of colors and tastes. The different colors remind me of his hair colors throughout the years. The different tastes remind me of his duality off-stage vs on stage. He can be a demon on stage but also baby girl off stage. It's clear some people like both of those personas, lol. Now, would he be a specific soda? Well, no. He is able to change his presence to fit the concept as he is the center of it all.

Seonghwa as wine 🍷

Hwa definitely gives off wine mom vibes fr. Wine is an expensive and classy taste like him. I can imagine him holding a wine glass between his fingers and stirring the drink in circles in a mansion. He looks so luxurious with a dark color palette (thinking about vampire hwa rn)

Yunho as sparkling water 🫧

Finally, now it's my time! (sorry I had to 😔) Aside from the obvious reference to sparkling, yunho reminds me of sparkling water. It can be seen as fancy but also convenient. I mean, we can survive on water by itself, but also sparkling water can help with hydration cuz atiny are always thirsty for yunho hehe 😜 (can you blame us?) Yunho is a reliable member! He takes care of his members when Matz isn't there to do so. He helps whenever he can and tries his best! Like water, he helps everyone and brings the energy Ateez needs to start the day!

Yeosang as tea 🍵

Bro is always there to listen to the tea and create it, lol. Yeosang may seem quiet but will call out his members on variety shows. He knows what's up fr but also actually not knowing what's actually happening? (me fr) anyways tea can either be cold like his ice prince appearance and hot like the burning energy he brings on stage. His duality is crazyyy.

San as juice🧃

Once again, I associated san with fruits and being fresh. What's a refreshing drink than juice? Similar to his stages, it is so refreshing because he delivers a strong and different every time. He is enjoyable to watch on stage. Juice is usually drank at the start of the morning, often as part of a breakfast. Juice is a healthy choice and has many benefits. (Like how san likes to work out and being active) It also comes in many different flavors, resulting in its variety, just like how versatile he is!

Mingi as milk 🥛

Milk makes you stronger and bigger, kinda like Mingi grew up in our eyes. He came back muscular physically but also stronger mentally. Mingi shows atiny how he feels through his lyrics, and some of us can relate to that. He has shown us how far he became an artist and a person.

Wooyoung as coffee ☕️

Coffee makes you have energy and hyper just like how woo is. Either you gonna stay up with adrenaline or gonna be knock out. Coffee can be bitter like how woo be when he doesn't get attention but also can be sweet when giving affection to his members. (Coffee can f you up and so can he ^^)

Jongho as boba🧋

Jongho and his boba eyes 😭 often associated with boba because of how his cute eyes resemble boba balls. He can be so adrobale when he doesn't act like a grandpa lol

[novelcain]

Y'all got me thinking so hard abt mafia wukong I'm dropping. Some things I've thought of in the last like five minutes for your viewing pleasure LOL feel free to ignore me or delete this I am running off like two hours of sleep

-Wukong probably holds an annual sort of, dinner for those serving directly under him. It's probably a night for information to be passed around, big terf reports to be given, that kind of thing. Only the ones that answer directly to him are invited, the ones directly under him in the hierarchy, so probably like, the DBK family if they're involved, Macaque, his inner circle, so to speak. I imagine it's held in a restaurant on their terf, or that they have control over, so it's only them being served that night.

- At these dinners everyone has a set seat. The seat to Wukong's left is always for MK and the seat to his right is always for Reader. Bad things happen if you mess with those seats!

- And gods help you when Wukong has a little too much wine to drink! He's handsy when he's stone cold sober, he's even worse when he's tipsy and/or drunk. I imagine him placing Reader in his lap at some point in the night, running his hands over every bit of them he can, leaning his cheek against their shoulder. Everyone has kind of learned to keep their mouths shut, but eventually someone is gonna have something they need to say and he's not even going to look away from Reader, carrying a conversation with his underling all while keeping his attention on Reader

- Oohhh when dinner is over and work is out of the way, it's relaxing time, everyone gets to mingle and enjoy music and drinks and to just lounge around in this space that's been procured for the meeting. Wukong makes Reader dance with him! The music is something soft and slow, sensual, and he takes them by the hand and sways to the music.

- Eventually the night comes to a close and everyone disperses. Wukong gets a little TOO handsy w Reader on the way home. Teehee.

Respectfully, anon. I refuse to ignore this as it is some delicious brain food you have given me~ 😌

First, I can't get out of my head how utterly embarrassed MK would be seeing his adoptive dad getting handsy with who he's beginning to see as his mother figure. All the while, his friends Mei and Red Son, the heirs to the Dragon of the West Triad and the Demon Bull Family Triad respectively, are teasing his and making fun of him for it. Tho Red Son shuts up about it later when his mom and dad start getting a little too drunk to keep their hands to themselves too.

I also think that with specific seating arrangements he has a special table that he likes more than all the others. I like to imagine that the business that they go to is Pigsy's Place. A restaurant that Wukong has been going to for at least a century and has been laundering money through since he helped Pigsy go from a noodle shop that he stumbled into one night at 3am while he was drunk to a full blown 5 star comfort food restaurant that's constantly booked.

Now to what you're all here for~

You've know this monkey for a while now and you know that once he starts to drink it's inevitable that he goes from his usual casual passing touches to practically dry humping you in front of everyone

Ffs the man has his hand up your dress!

You get so flustered and try to feed him food and water to help him sober up but he just keeps getting his hands on more alcohol and somehow even gets you to drink a bit as well

You two definitely end up getting frisky in the limo ride back

Mk saw that coming after jumping out the window the last time because his dad got so drunk that he forgot his son was still in the damn car and went home in Macaque's car, which Mk is driving because Macaque is past out in the passenger's seat after having a drinking contest with DBK. The winner of which was unclear.

[angelustful]

The brothers celebrating the holidays with Hispanic Mc’s family! [dateables version]

notes: sorry this took a bit long anon🥲but I got to finish it🫶🏽Thank you for requesting this anon, hope u have a great day/night! Sorry if this isn’t what you exactly wanted but hope you enjoy cariños! Part 2 with the dateables will come soon. Creds to my dear Emi @cosmiic-world who helped me write this and get motivation<3333

details: demon bros x Hispanic reader/Mc! This could be crack and fluff< 3

content warning: suggestive content, mentions of drinking, wine. Not eating a whole portion (?)

warning: English is not our first language so we’re sorry if this didn’t made sense or have spelling errors🥲🥲

requested by anon<3

Lucifer would definitely bring cerveza to the party once you told him that he and his brothers are going with you to celebrate with your family. He knows how big your family is so he brought a lot of cerveza (as he should💁🏽‍♀️) He would be defending your ass of your tías saying “Y el novio?” to you by being behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist saying “Pues, aquí estoy señora, cómo estás?” WHILE SMIRKING. Your tias would be so shocked that you got such a handsome man that they would probably try to flirt with him and laughing every time something comes out of his mouth and chismeando to your other tias about you guys😭😭Your dad would probably (or not) approve of him since he got cerveza and he takes care of you🤷🏽‍♀️though your dad will have a talk with you later about your relationship and why you didn’t tell him😭(praying for you que no te chingo🥲🙏) He would love the food your mom has cooked, the desserts, the BREAD, el pinche pan dulce that he loves so much. Your mom would tell him to take some for home and he would gladly do so. He loves watching you dance with your primos and stealing you from them to dance with him when a slow song comes up. He really likes how your family celebrates the holidays and how you enjoy it. He would make sure his brothers don’t cause chaos and show some respect for your family members. Basically, your family approves of him and want you to bring him over again anytime.

Mammon would fuck with them tbh, he would hang out with your primos and would talk with your dad about you and how you’re the best thing he could ever asked for. (He won’t tell you tho🥲🤫) He would be prepared, his outfit is just🤭😫y’all look like you guys are matching (you are) Another one who would defend your ass from your tias saying “Y el novio?” by kissing your cheek and smirking at your tias saying “Aquí estoy señorita!” and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. Your primos like him and your young tío would duck with him too. He would tell you to bring him again for them to talk more😭HE WOULD DANCE WITH YOU. Don’t tell me otherwise that he won’t cause he will. He would eat that shit up and would steal the spotlight with you both dancing sexily and roaming his hands around your body and y’all look like y’all in love (which y’all are🤭) that the tias would be on Facebook live and record y’all and your primas would hype y’all up or be jealous you got a man.😭Tú papa would be mad lmaoo.💁🏽‍♀️ He’d probably take you to a private corner for y’all to kiss and make out, leaving hickeys or sum, though you would get mad at him cause your outfit shows skin and you have to go to your room to get your makeup to cover up.🤦🏽‍♀️ He would love the food your family would be serving him. Your mom would convince your dad that Mammon is a good guy cause he likes her food😭 Anyways, he likes your family and would ask you if he can come with you every time you’re visiting them. Of course, your family doesn’t mind (not sure about your dad tho🙄)

Leviathan.. would be unsure of it first and awkward😭He won’t know what to do and just hang out with you, staying close to your hip. He’s not sure what to do with all this attention on him. He would probably not understand what your family is saying and would tell you to translate for him. He would speak a bit when he knows what they’re saying but he would be embarrassed about it cause..his Spanish is not that good..but he would probably use magic to make his accent and Spanish better than what he usually speaks it. He would probably hide in the corner playing with his phone unless you drag him everywhere you go. Though he sees your little primos hanging around and running, he would play with them, your little primos like him and would want to hang out with him more and your heart literally melts🥹🫶He would watch you dance with your family and would be embarrassed if you ask him to ask with you. If he doesn’t, then you can just be by his side and he would be so grateful cause he doesn’t like being alone🥲either way if he does accept, he would be a bit stiff but would try his best to dance well. For your sake, he would. He likes the food, he appreciates it and would ask for a second plate. He would probably not come again but if you want him to come, he would, just to see you smile and be happy.🫶🏽

Satan would vibe with it tbh, but he would prefer to be in a quiet place with you and him alone🤭😭Your family would probably call him a gringo because of his blonde hair and pale skin but once they know that he understands what they’re saying and spewing Spanish perfectly, they would regret every saying that word ever again. You see, he’s ANOTHER one who would defend your ass from your tias (basically all the brothers would🤷🏽‍♀️) and he would just kiss you in front of them and smirk, not saying anything to them. Not sure how your dad feels about it tho.🫢 He also wants to make a good impression on them so he tries to be respectful too. He would dance with you too🤭, would love being by your side and speaking with your primas and tias. He would probably get interviewed by your dad as he asked how he’s treating you. He would tell him everything and how you’re a sweetheart and someone so precious to him💁🏽‍♀️. Your dad would probably approve but not sure how to feel about you guys being together.

Asmodeus, he would hang out with them. He likes parties so he’s going.💁🏽‍♀️ He would understand what they’re saying a bit but not a lot either. *Sigh* Another one who would defend you from your tias, would get offended by them saying “Y el novio?” to you and he just pops out of nowhere and goes behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning his head against your shoulder saying “Aquí estoy! Como están señoritas?” To be honest, he would probably flirt with them a a joke or something until you tell him to stop before they start bringing him to bed😭. Anyways, he loves the celebration, the food, THE DANCES, he would try his best to learn the dances you guys are doing so he could dance with you later on, either way he would just record and watch you dance. When it’s time for the food, he will probably not finish his whole plate but he likes the food, he just won’t eat the whole plate, leaving a little portion left🤷🏽‍♀️. Secretly brings demonus to the party to get himself drunk. 10/10 would want to come again but you’re thinking about it, your tias would like to see him very soon, your dad doesn’t know how to feel about him and your other family members just wish you all the best.

Beelzebub WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE FOOD. He loves your culture and the way you guys celebrate holidays and traditions. He especially enjoys the food y’all make. Though he doesn’t understand quite well what they’re talking about, you’ll translate for him but sometimes he can speak for himself. You know it, another one who would defend you from you know who to you know what they’re saying. The conversation would be funny tbh, and their surprise reactions would be worth it. Just your tias seeing him being talk as fuck, wrapping his arms around you basically almost covering you, his head literally touches the ceiling, he has to bend down slightly to go through the door😭. Your primas could be jealous tbh. Your primos would like to hang out with him and ask him how he got so tall. Your dad might be a bit intimidated but would interview about your relationship. Your mom is just proud of you🤷🏽‍♀️. Anyways, he would like to see you dance and having the time of your life with your family, he likes to see you happy so he enjoys seeing you smile at your primas/primos while dancing. When it’s time for dinner, you have to tell him to be careful to not eat the whole food, because your family would question him how he can eat all that without throwing up. Either way he loves the food and would ask for more to bring home. Your mom likes his company and would want to ensign him again, your dad doesn’t mind him, your tias would probably talk about him behind his back to you and your primos/primas or tíos would not mind his company either, they like him.

Belphegor wouldn’t mind, at first he wouldn’t want to come because it’s a party and he wants to take a nap but since you want him to go and it gets him a chance to spend more time with you, then he decided he will go. He would think it’s way to loud for him but either way he enjoys it. You know, another one who would defend you form your tias. The conversation would be like “Y el novio, ya tienes uno?” and he is just there behind you out of nowhere (like Asmodeus) and his head on your shoulder, eyes are droopy like he’s ready to fall asleep any minute and he would just like smile, not saying a word, but it’s making it obvious that he’s the boyfriend. He would try to be polite would probably try to charm your family. Him with your dad would be awkward tbh..he puts on a polite persona for your dad’s approval of him being your boyfriend. Again, he likes your culture and would love the food, he feels welcome and appreciates your mom’s politeness and would not hesitate to take the food back home when your mom asks him to. He would try to dance with you because he knows how much this means to you so he gives his wastes his whole energy for you. He emoji ya seeing you enjoying your time with him and after that’s over he would take you to a private place for you both to chill out and hang out with each other. Your mom likes him and wants him to come over again, your dad is neutral about him, your primos y primas don’t mind his company, your tias would make chisme about him to you or behind your back too😭. Either way, he enjoyed the party and if you asked him, he would come again:)

© 𝘼𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙛𝙪𝙡 2022, 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙙. 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙙𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙮, 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚, 𝙘𝙤𝙥𝙮 𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙢 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙬𝙣.

[spade-riddles]

champagneproblesm asked:

Kinda tells a story when you pick the outro or last verse from each song backwards :

The only thing that's left is the manuscript. One last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then i re read the manuscript. But the story isn't mine anymore

But now we'll curtail your curiosity in sweetness

She's been many places with men of many faces. First, they're off to the races. She's laughing drawin' aces. But, none of it is changin'. That the chariot is waitin'. Hearts are hers for the breakin. There's an escape in escaping OR she fell through the Ice then came black Alive.

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

When the truth Comes out it's quiet. It's so quiet .

(I'm so afraid I sealed my fate no sign of soulmates. I'm just a paperweight in shades of greige) Spending my last coin so someone will tell it'll be ok

What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time.

I pushed each boulder up that hill.

This place made me feel worthless

Your words were just still ringing in my head.

I'm hearing voices like a mad man

Leaving me bereft and reeling, my beloved ghost and me sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G

Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses, cooler in theory but not if you force it to be, it just didn't happen.

The devil that you know looks now more like an angel. I'm the life you chose and all this terrible danger OR she IS here to destroy you

Pick your poison, babe I'm poison either way

Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes and hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons. Even if I die screaming and I hope you hear it.

Only when your girlish glow flickers just so do they let you know i's hell on earth to be heavenly. Them's the breaksThey don't come gently

They said there was no chance, trying to be the greatest in the league.

You hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins. In public, showed me off then sank in stoned oblivion cause once your queen had come you treat her like an also-ran. You didn't measure up in any measure of a man

Cause i'm miserable. And no one even knows. Try and Come for my job

Your arsons match your somber eyes. And i'll still see it till the day i die. (You're the loss of my life.)

Your good lord didn't need to lift a finger.

I am what i am cause you trained me. So who's afraid of little old me?

Am i allowed to cry ?

Go on fuck me up

I did my Time.

All the wine moms are still holding out but it's over.

You'll find someone.

Waving at the ship, fuck it if i can't have him

Left all these broken parts, told me i'm better of but i'm not

Who else decodes you ? or / i chose this cyclone with you

it won't start up 'til I touch, touch, touch you

it won't start up 'til I touch, touch, touch you (fortnight)

Then midnights

I can't find a pulse my Heart won't start anymore

have they come to take me away?

You should find another guiding light

Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first

It's been two thousand one hundred and 90 days of our love blackout. The system's breaking down.

I'd pay if you'd just know me. Seemed like the right thing at the time.

Levitate above all the messes made sit quiet by my side in the shade. And not the kind that's thrown, I mean The kind under where a tree has grown

it's all over, it's not meant to be. So I'll say words I don't believe

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair. And we will never go back.

Had to do it this way 'Cause we were born to be the pawn In every lover's game

You say "what a mind" this happens all the Time

It's coming back around.

Break up, break free, break through, break down. You would break your back to make me break a smile

I think it's time to teach some lessons i made you my world. have you heard? I can reclaim the land.

I'm on my vigilante shit again.

But you were on somethin', It was one drink after another, Fuckin' politics and gender roles, And you're not sure and I don't know. Got swept away in the gray. I just may like to have a conversation

So I peered through a window, A deep portal, time travel, All the love we unravel. And the life I gave away

I'll run away

to hide that would be so dishonest. And it's fine to fake it 'til you make it. 'Til you do, 'til it's true

Pierced through the Heart but Never killed.

I feel you no matter what. The rubies that i gave up.

I find it dizzing they're bringing m'y History. But you weren't Even listening.

[anonymousewrites]

Adolescent Antichrist (Book 6) Chapter Eleven

Father Figure! Lucifer Morningstar x Teen! Reader

Demon! OC x Reader

Chapter Eleven: Someone’s gotta keep Things from going to Hell

Summary: Lucifer finds the answer to God's retirement. God has other plans, and an era comes to an end.

Mouse Note: I'm so sorry this is late I forgot to post it! (Family creates chaos, as I've found)

            “(Y/N), I found the answer,” said Lucifer, grinning ear-to-ear.

            “Answer to what?” said (Y/N), not looking up from their work.

            “God’s retirement,” said Lucifer proudly.

            “My beach idea?” said (Y/N).

            “No,” said Lucifer. “That would be my retirement as God.” (Y/N) laughed. “No, I listened to what He needed. I realized only one thing would be truly fulfilling.”

            “What?” asked (Y/N), actually looking up. This made them curious.

            “Come to Lux tonight and find out!” said Lucifer, turning away.

            (Y/N) groaned. If he’s being dramatic and mysterious, that can’t be good.

            Undoubtedly, though, they were going.

l

            Lucifer eagerly waited at the bar of Lux, and (Y/N) gave themself way too many maraschino cherries than would usually be used in a Shirley Temple.

            “Lucifer!” greeted Amenadiel as he entered and walked down the empty stairs. God sood beside him. “Why’d you call us here, brother?” He looked at (Y/N). “Good evening.”

            “Hey,” said (Y/N), waving and taking a sip of their drink.

            “What is that?” asked God curiously.

            “Give me a second.” (Y/N) grabbed the ingredients again. “This is better than wine, I can tell you that.”

            “How do you know that?” said Lucifer.

            (Y/N) ignored him and poured God a drink as God smiled. God took a sip and nodded.

            “Delicious,” He agreed.

            “I know, right?” said (Y/N), grinning.

            “Now, son, why are we here?” said God, looking at Lucifer.

            “Well.” Lucifer straightened and smiled. “After finally listening to what Dad’s been telling me all along, I realized there’s only one thing that’s gonna make His retirement fulfilling. So I enlisted Gabriel’s help to make it happen.”

            (Y/N) and Amenadiel looked at Lucifer in confusion.

            “Did you know our sister can deliver a message anywhere?” said Lucifer. “And I mean…anywhere.” He gestured to the stairs behind them.

            Everyone turned around. They stared.

            The Goddess of All Creation, God’s ex-wife, Mistress of the Universe—Missy (in (Y/N)’s mind)—stood before them. She smiled and walked towards them.

            Amenadiel looked at Lucifer, who nodded softly. That was really their mother.

            “Mother?” said Amenadiel as she stepped towards them.

            “Hello, my sweet boy.” She smiled. Her smile fell slightly. “Husband.”

            “Wife.” God was just staring at her. This was the first time He’d seen her in person for millennia. He moved towards her.

            “Lucifer, how?” whispered (Y/N).

            “Well, it wasn’t easy,” said Lucifer. “Mom says she only has enough juice for this one time.”

            “I never thought I’d see you again,” said God.

            “I never thought I’d see you retire,” said Missy.

            “Hm.” God smiled slightly. “Well, like I’ve always said, it’s a tough gig. But you understand that now that you’re doing it.”

            “I don’t find it nearly as difficult as you made it out to be,” denied Missy, but there was no malice in her words.

            God chuckled and smiled. “Then clearly you’re better at it than I ever was. No surprise in that.”

            Missy smiled at Him. “Well, I must admit, though, it does get lonely at the top.”

            “Lucifer, you don’t have to become God anymore,” whispered Amenadiel as God and Missy spoke quietly to one another.

            Cute reunion, thought (Y/N).

            “I found out Dad’s not losing His powers,” said Amenadiel.

            (Y/N) looked at Amenadiel and frowned. “What?”

            “Michael was gaslighting Him,” said Amenadiel.

            I really hate him, thought (Y/N).

            “It’s all been inside his head,” said Amenadiel.

            “Michael?” Lucifer scoffed. “Well, he won’t get away with that sort of thing when I’m in charge.”

            “Brother, do you hear what I’m saying?” said Amenadiel. “Dad’s fine. He can keep being God. Everything can go back to normal. Everything.”

            “Can we still do something about Michael?” muttered (Y/N). Michael seriously needs to be humbled.

            Lucifer’s eyes drifted to God and Missy, who leaned in to kiss one another. The reunion was going very well. (Y/N) smiled to themself.

            “We can be a family again,” said Amenadiel softly to Lucifer.

            Lucifer chuckled wryly. “Wonderful. Except for the part where I don’t get to become God and prove that I’m worthy.”

            Ah, so that’s what it’s about. His self-esteem. (Y/N)’s gaze softened. “Dad.” They touched his arm. “You are worthy. Of everything. You don’t need to prove it to anyone.” They squeezed his hand. “You just need to see it yourself.”

            Lucifer looked at them, and he smiled. If only he could see himself the way they saw him. He wasn’t good enough for them. Not nearly enough.

            “Lucifer. Amenadiel. (Y/N),” said Missy. They all looked at her. She and God were holding hands, standing together like a loving married couple should. “We’ve made our decision about God’s retirement.

            Lucifer put a smile on his face. “Ah, sunny Florida? Silver City?” He tried to clear away his self-doubts.

            “Actually…” Missy looked at God with a gentle smile. “We decided…we’re moving to my universe.”

            Amenadiel and Lucifer’s smiles fell. (Y/N) stared in surprise.

            “What?” said Amenadiel. “But you’re…both here.” He swallowed. “Together.”

            “Yeah,” said Lucifer faintly.

            “You’re just gonna…leave us again?” said Amenadiel. He blinked as his eyes burned. “Without any ability to come back?!”

            “Your mother spent a long time in my world,” said God gently. “It’s my turn to spend time in hers.”

            “Dad—” Lucifer stammered over the word and swallowed. Suddenly seeing this change, something he had never aimed for or truly wanted, meant too much. It was too painful. “A-A word, please.”

            God nodded. He cupped Amenadiel’s face gently, and Amenadiel gazed back at Him tearfully. God walked towards Lucifer’s at the other end of the bar.

            (Y/N) watched them go. They knew this was the end. God was leaving. Even if Michael was interfering, God had decided to move on. He wanted to do something new with his life. (Y/N) respected it. They also felt an ache in their heart. For the father Lucifer and Amenadiel had repaired their relationship with leaving. For the father all of the angels would miss. For the God the world wouldn’t know they were saying goodbye to. For the new family member (Y/N) would remember forever.

            They hoped they could carry on His kindness and compassion for the rest of their life. It was the least they could do for His memory and His legacy.

            Missy kissed Amenadiel’s forehead softly, promising him that he’d be alright. She hugged him tightly. “I am so…so sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye last time.”

            “No, I never blamed you, Mom,” said Amenadiel.

            “No.” Missy chuckled and smiled. “Of course you didn’t. My kindest, wisest, most perfect son. And now the perfect dad.”

            “I’m far from it,” said Amenadiel. “But…I’m trying my best.”

            “That’s what makes you perfect,” said Missy. She hugged Amenadiel again.

            With God and Lucifer, God paused after they had much of their conversation. They had said almost everything that was needed. But God still had a few more words He knew Lucifer deserved to hear.

            “At the family dinner…you were right,” He said. Lucifer looked at Him in confusion. “I could have been a better father to you.”

            Lucifer chuckled to disguise the sob that wanted to force its way out. “Well, now you forego your mysterious ways. Just as you’re leaving…?”

            “No need for them anymore now that I’m retiring,” said God. “Which means…I can say something I’ve wanted to for a long time.” Lucifer stared. “I love you, son. And I am very proud of the man you’ve become.”

            Lucifer’s lips quivered, and his heart leapt for joy. God hugged him. Lucifer sobbed and hugged Him, still a boy who needed a hug from his father.

            Lucifer swallowed. “I think Amenadiel might like to hear that, too.”

            God chuckled and held Lucifer just a little bit tighter before letting go. “I already told him. It was an emotional round of golf.” He smiled at Amenadiel and Missy, who had finished saying their goodbyes.

            “Time to go,” said Missy. “My universe needs me.” She hugged Lucifer goodbye, and God hugged Amenadiel.

            When they let go, Missy looked at (Y/N). “(Y/N).”

            (Y/N) stiffened nervously. They felt like they were intruding on a private moment. “Yes?”

            “I’m sorry again. For threatening you the last time we met. It was wrong of me,” said Missy. “And I’ve grown.”

            (Y/N) smiled at her. “I forgive you. I know you were just…confused about what to do.”

            “You’ve grown up. You’re much stronger than last time.” Missy looked at Lucifer and smiled. “You should be proud of your child.”

            “I am,” said Lucifer.

            “He’s a great dad. I wouldn’t be who I was without him,” said (Y/N). “I’m happy to be a part of this family…Grandma.”

            Missy grinned and hugged (Y/N). They hugged back. God joined a moment later.

            “Goodbye, (Y/N),” He said. “It was wonderful to meet you. I know you’re going to great things as you continue to grow.”

            “Goodbye,” said (Y/N), hugging Him. “I’m going to miss you…Grandpa.”

            God chuckled. Missy stepped back. God squeezed them a moment longer and whispered, “Take good care of things.” He stepped back.

            (Y/N) smiled. “Someone’s gotta keep things from going to Hell.” They grinned, trying not to tear up themself.

            “Indeed,” said God, chuckling. “And who better than you?” Missy smiled and took His hand. The pair walked a few steps away.

            “Dad, wait,” called Amenadiel. God paused and looked back. “You forgot to name your successor.”

            God smiled. “You’ll figure it out.”

            “Back to your mysterious ways already,” said Lucifer, still swallowing back tears. (Y/N) hugged him, and he hugged them back. They watched God and Missy with a bittersweet ache in their chest.

            “All part of my plan,” said God.

            “Plan…” said Lucifer softly.

            God and Missy went to the stage of Lux and drew back the curtains to reveal a shining golden light. Beyond it was a field of green—Missy’s universe waiting.

            “How much of this was your plan?” said Lucifer, looking at God.

            He chuckled mysteriously.

            “Goodbye, my loves,” said Missy.

            They stepped forward, and the curtains fell closed behind them. God and Missy were gone.

            Lucifer and Amenadiel let out long sights. (Y/N) pulled Amenadiel into the side hugs they were giving. They all stood in silence, letting the moment pass on its own.

l

            “How is he?” asked Chloe quietly.

            (Y/N) had invited her over as Lucifer just stared out over LA from the penthouse. They knew he needed support, and they wanted every piece of support he had. Amenadiel had his son and Linda to help him. Lucifer had them and Chloe.

            “It’s bittersweet,” said (Y/N). “I think he just needs us to be there with him.”

            Chloe nodded, and the pair walked towards Lucifer.

            “Hi,” said Chloe softly.

            “I brought Chloe, Dad,” said (Y/N).

            Lucifer nodded and smiled slightly. “Thank you.”

            “How are you holding up?” asked Chloe.

            “Oh, nothing lasts forever, I suppose,” said Lucifer.

            “Do you need anything?” said Chloe.

            Lucifer shook his head. “Just time.”

            “Alright,” said Chloe. “But (Y/N) and I are here.”

            “Forever,” said (Y/N), smiling. “Because family is the one thing that lasts forever.” They tapped his heart. “There.”

            “That was cheesy,” said Lucifer.

            “I try to be nice, and that’s what I get,” sighed (Y/N). Lucifer chuckled and hugged them from the side. Chloe shook her head in amusement.

            Flap! “Lucifer!”

            Lucifer groaned and turned around. It was Remiel.

            “Where is Father?” said Remiel.

            “Uh, excuse us, we were having a moment,” grumbled Lucifer.

            “Where is He?” repeated Remiel.

            “Gone. Retired. Eternally unavailable,” said Lucifer.

            “Did He name His successor?” said Remiel.

            “No, He said it was up to us to figure it out,” said Lucifer.

            “What’s the matter?” asked (Y/N).

            “Can we talk?” Remiel glanced at Chloe and (Y/N). “Without the child and human?”

            “No,” said Lucifer. “Whatever you want to say, you can say in front of both of them.”

            “So be it,” said Remiel distrustfully. “Upon returning to the Silver City, I discovered something alarming. Michael’s been gathering support from the others.”

            “Support for what?” said Chloe.

            “Don’t tell me…” groaned (Y/N), narrowing their eyes.

            “Michael wants to be God,” said Lucifer. “The sneaky bastard. I bet this was his plan all along.”

            The shadows around (Y/N) waved back and forth angrily as they shifted. They hated the idea.

            “If it’s up to our brothers and sisters, it looks like he has a good shot,” said Remiel. She paused. “Which is why, and I cannot believe I’m saying this…” She took a knee. “I am backing you, Lucifer. I may not like you, but I hate Michael even more.”

            It’s like the presidential elections, thought (Y/N).

            “Now there’s a ringing endorsement for my campaign poster,” said Lucifer, not disparaged by the slight insult.

            Remiel stood and nodded. “Michael would never suspect I’d take your side. So, I’ll find out what he’s up to.”

            “I think if I just get another chance to hit him we’d be fine. I’m like…3-0 against him. 4-0 if you count the family dinner,” said (Y/N).

            “The Apocalypse does not count as a win, you are not going close to him,” said Lucifer firmly.

            (Y/N) huffed. They really wanted another chance to hand Michael’s ass to him. They hadn’t gotten a proper chance after the Apocalypse.

            “Whatever Michael’s up to, it can’t be good,” said Chloe.

            “And knowing my brother, he won’t be wasting any time,” said Lucifer. “So, if anyone notices anything, let someone know immediately.”

            Chloe nodded.

            (Y/N) nodded firmly. Michael would not win. Not with them around.

Taglist:

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

@scarlettqueen190

@ziro-the-null-god

@sammy-13

@zeros-rot

@ceridwyn3

@technikerin23

@poetoflawed

@slytherinroyalty16

@ilse235

@theurbannoodle

@lookitseddie

@amberforest08

[jellys-compendium]

My favorite demon brother disaster who is also a Chanel wearing single mom that starts drinking her wine at 3PM

[captaingrebelguf]

Yule Tidings

Okey dokey, well I found myself with some time on my hands this weekend unexpectedly. So what else does a few glasses of wine lead to? 🍷

It leads to me slamming out a Christmas story for my ghestie, @copiousloverofcopia. Because she's a delight and she makes my life better. ❤️

🎄 Merry Ghristmas, girlfriend.🎄

------------------------------------------

Sister Alessandra and her and Terzo's brood borrowed from Prime Mover Ren and her series, Tied as One Eternally. Please read it. Multiple times. Or read ANYTHING she makes. It'll warm your dark lil soul. 💜

------------------------------------------

So. A few weeks back, the night before Luciana was born…

...

Terzo’s hands hovered protectively around over his daughter’s as she used a wooden match to light the long, pale candles driven into the oak log. 

“Ben fatto, mia figlia. Brava!” Terzo smiled, blowing out the match before kissing Mena’s cheek. 

The family’s yule log was now lit and seated in front of a frosted window. The glow of the festive stump and their newly-decorated Yule tree illuminated the Papal suite. 

Terzo promised to give his wife a day to herself and he had made good on his word. He woke, fed, and dressed the two kids and whisked them outside on an adventure with Zio ‘Peemo’. They had scavenged the forest to gather foragable materials to decorate an altar. Alessandra tiredly beamed at her family from the couch. Her “quiet” day had consisted of a nap, an overdue date with a few hours of Hulu, and indulging in the many holiday treats Primo was handing off to his dear, exhausted cognata daily. Frank Sinatra droned on in the background. The fireplace crackled and a simmer pot courtesy of Primo was bubbling on the stove; the smell of clove and bergamot wafted through the flat. A plate of frosted cookies remained half eaten on the coffee table. 

Primo suggested frosting cookies as a way to entertain the children to give Alé some much-needed alone time. Copia tagged along once he had gotten wind of cookies being mentioned. He and Terzo had been more than happy to help frost their own versions of cookies. Primo helped his brother’s children decorate trees adorned with pentagrams and demon-esque snowmen. Alessandra was less than amused to find the cookies her husband made specifically for her were just well-endowed gingerbread people with very poorly done corpse paint to resemble his own.

Mena jumped up onto the couch and threw her arms around her mom’s neck. Dante yawned as he snuggled closer to his mother; the excitement of the day beginning to wear on the interim youngest Emeritus. Mena sunk down to be at eye level with Alé’s bump.

“Okay, Luci, we have everything decorated for you. So we’re ready for you now!” Mena pleaded with her unborn sibling.

“Sadly, it doesn’t quite work that way,” Alessandra lamented giving her stomach a gentle rub, pulling her oldest daughter in for a hug.

“Well, she’ll be here sooner or later,” Terzo chimed in, pouring himself a refill of the leftover vin brulé he had pilfered from Primo’s quarters. Terzo sipped on his drink before turning back to his family, “Or else she’s going to share a birthday with a certain leper-groping, carpenter hippie.”

“Uh, we’re getting into overtime as it is here,” Alessandra interrupted, “She better be out well before the 25th…”

“I mean, Alé, unless you could try to keep her in until the, eh, 25th? We could use her as an anti-Christ figure against the Church!” Terzo rambled on. Alé shook her head, refusing to participate in her husband’s chaos.

“Luci is not going to be the anti-Christ,” Mena stated matter of factly. Alé’s eyebrows shot up as she turned to look at their oldest.

Terzo paused and raised his eyebrow at his daughter. He hesitated, but he had to know, “What makes you say that, topolina?”

Mena coyly smiled at her father and buried her face into his mother’s side, becoming bashful all of a sudden. Terzo’s expression pulled into a frown as he shook his head at his daughter, muttering to himself, “Stregallina pazza..”

“It’s getting pretty late, little ones,” Alé pointed out, kissing the top of her daughter’s head, motioning to the clock above the fireplace. Alé leaned back and peered over to Dante. The young boy had been watching the candle flames bounce from the adorned yule log, but as soon as he caught his mother’s gaze, he clamped his eyelids shut. Alessandra chuckled and gave him a gentle shake, “Dante, are you already asleep?”

“Yes,” Dante insisted, without opening his eyes as he fought off a smile. He rolled away from his mother as she began to tousle his hair up; he buried his face into the couch cushions. 

Terzo smirked as he snatched the pillow up from under his son’s head and gently bopped him in the back with the decorative cushion, “You sleep talk now, too, eh? Piccolo bugiardo.”

Dante giggled as he attempted to protect himself from the leisurely blows Terzo continued to pelt him with as he sipped away at his drink. Terzo finished his drink and set the glass back down on the table as he took the pillow and lovingly squished it against Dante’s face one more time. He clicked his tongue at his offspring, motioning between them both, “You heard your mama. Bed time.”

“I’m not tired,” Mena replied, suppressing a yawn. Dante had quieted down again, breathing softly, still buried beneath the throw pillow.

“Yes, I know. It’s amazing how you’re never tired,” Terzo admitted defeatedly as he shifted his weight to his hip, placing his hands on his waist. He furrowed his brow as he looked at Mena; his daughter maintained unbreaking, pleading eye contact. Terzo couldn’t help but cave. If anyone else said it, he’d beat their ass; but he was without question, a complete pushover for his precious daughter. 

“Ay, fine, why not go find the new book Zio Copia got for you and show your fratellino before bed?” Terzo suggested. He heard his wife cough and pat at her throat.

“ahHEM--weak--hhem.”

Terzo snapped his attention to glare daggers at his wife. Alé chewed on her lips to keep from laughing-- hoping to not pee herself. Before he could start his thought, his daughter’s cries interrupted him. 

“Yes!” Mena screeched enthusiastically as she leapt up from the couch, jostling Dante awake again, “And then after we read the book maybe we can get a rat for Yule, Papa??”

“No rats!” Terzo exclaimed, wide-eyed, putting his hands up to silence his daughter as she began to ramble to her father at a mile a minute. Damn his fratellino; filling his children’s minds with ratto thoughts.

“Papa!” Mena pleaded, her expression mimicking her father’s pout. Terzo felt his eyelid twitch.

“No. Rats.” Terzo insisted as he pointed towards Mena’s bedroom, “Sbrigati.”

Mena let out a heavy sigh as she marched towards her room, Dante quietly slid off the couch and bobbled after his sister. The two shuffled to the older one’s room where they could talk about maybe having Zio talk to their papa about a new pet.

“Why are you so opposed to this? Didn’t you boys have pets growing up?” Alessandra pried as she dropped her hands behind her in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure from her back. The ache today was no joke and she couldn’t wait to be done with this whole pregnancy.

Terzo huffed as he sunk down into the couch next to his partner, “Well yes, occasionally, the ones we’d find outside… the snakes.. The lizard.. The frogs.. but Primo always made us return them. But I also didn’t find myself with a wife and three children back then. Back then I had time for additional commitments! I refuse to take care of anything else at this time. Do you want to do it? Manage all of us plus a furry stronzo?!”

Alessandra smirked, choosing not to answer her husband. She adjusted herself to rest her head against his chest; Terzo gathered her legs and dropped them over his lap so he could massage her swollen calves. Alessandra moaned a little louder than she had planned as her head lolled back against the couch’s armrest.

“Prometto, when they’re out of my home, they can have as many disease-ridden burdens as they can handle,” Terzo clucked his tongue as he mimed circles around his head, “I have enough disease-ridden, snot burdens as it is.”

She frowned as she held out the back of her palm in an attempt to touch his forehead. Terzo awkwardly strained over for his wife to feel his skin. Most things ended up being a group effort for the past few weeks, “You do feel warm. Maybe you have thee crud.”

“Are you surprised? Alé, I feel like it's every other two weeks one of us is sick because of the two mostriciattoli,” Terzo stared incredulously at his wife as he continued .

Alé rolled her eyes as she let herself sink further into the couch. She winced as she felt the dull cramping in her back again. 

“Are you alright, amore?” Terzo questioned. Alessandra let out a sharp breath, holding her side.

“She’s definitely down in the right spot, that’s for sure,” Alé wrinkled her nose, clenching her jaw. Terzo’s mouth formed a tight line as he reached a hand over to place against her firm stomach.  He paused for a moment, considering his words before continuing.

“Well after the week you’ve had on your hands and knees begging for my cock, I had hoped that would help get something moving,” his concerned expression turning into a mischievous grin, gently patting her belly.

“Get your hands off me,” Alessandra hissed at him, batting his hands away from her. She attempted to pull her legs away, but Terzo held on, keeping her in place.

“I can bring a lot to the table, dolce,” Terzo purred, capturing her hand. He gently lifted her fingers and brought them to his lips; placing a chaste kiss. He wiggled his eyebrows at her, eliciting a giggle in response.

“Yes, Terzo, believe me, I’m very aware. Sometimes too much,” she laughed motioning with her free hand to her stomach. He smirked before leaning forward to kiss her belly. Alé cupped his cheek and gave him a content smile. Terzo softened his gaze as he locked eyes with her. Alé’s breath hitched as she suddenly felt her husband crush his lips against hers. Alé let out a soft moan as she felt her husband’s hands wriggle down the front of her robe and cup at her enlarged breast. Terzo continued to nip and bite at her neck as he rolled her nipple between his fingers. Alé wanted this so badly, but the kids were too close and knew a book wouldn’t keep them busy long enough.

“Hey!” Alé interjected against her husband’s fervent kisses, she gently placed her palm against his chest to snap him out of this state, “Hey, keep it in your pants, Papa! This one would be hard to play off in front of them.”

Terzo blinked back, trying to change gears wasn’t so easy when his Prime Mover looked like this. He felt slightly light-headed as he sat back against the couch with his cock straining against the confines of his slacks. He willed the blood to continue to circulate to other parts of his body. 

“Mi dispiace…” he cleared his throat and let out a long, frustrated sigh, “Alé, when you are like this, something takes over my mind, and I can’t think straight around you.”

“Well, I am flattered, but I’m also exhausted and like you said, you already had a good run this week.”

Terzo sighed, trying to focus on anything other than her breasts, his eyes flitted to the side table momentarily before changing his tone, “You know… I was only trying to add on a second early yule gift for my bellissima Prime Mover.”

Alé glowered at him. The emotional whiplash this man gave her sometimes made her question if it was worth it, “Second gift what!? Terzo, we said no gifts for each other this year. PERIOD.”

“It’s not a gift, per se!” Terzo argued, backsliding. 

“Listen to me, I have very little patience right now for you. You bring me cookies with massive, very graphic dicks on them. You massage my legs to just cop a feel--”

“I most certai--”

“Ah!” Alessandra cut him off and continued, “You beat our son!”

Terzo broke out into a shit-eating grin and laughed boisterously, “Please, like you wouldn’t smack the shit out of that little cattivello with a pillow if you had the chance!”

Alé’s serious face broke and she giggled, giving her husband a gentle shove, “You know what Primo told me? Dante pulls the same shit you and Secondo put that poor man through! So this IS actually all your fault that he’s like this. This is just generational karma!”

“That chiacchierone is nothing but a gossip! Stop talking about me behind my back with my fratello!” Terzo scoffed, waving his wife off, still chuckling to himself.

“You know I only agreed to marry you because it would get me closer to Primo,” Alé teased, scratching her nails down Terzo’s arm, Terzo rolling his eyes at her comment. The two lovers sat in comfortable silence taking in the disarray of their festively decorated home. This many years later, neither of them could still fathom this is where their path would take them.

“Eh, so, I did get you… a something,” Terzo finally admitted, fiddling around with his golden wedding ring, avoiding his wife’s accusatory gaze. Alé softly, but deliberately, punched him square in the shoulder.

“God. Damn. You,” Alessandra’s stare could have turned her husband into a Medusa-esque statue, “And I mean that, Terzo! We said no gifts! You make me look bad because I am capable of following rules!”

Terzo winked at her, rubbing his shoulder, as he leaned back behind the couch, snagging a small black box from the side table she hadn’t noticed before. He held the gift out to her; it was adorned with a dried orange and a cinnamon stick

“You bastard,” she grumbled, crossing her arms. Terzo placed the small box on top of her stomach. Alessandra huffed, jiggling the box.

“Consider our daughter in there your gift to me,” Terzo added, giving her leg a gentle squeeze.

“Oh you’re damn right she is!” Alé interjected as she felt their unborn child wedge her foot into her ribcage. The more she thought about it, the less bad she felt. Terzo wasn’t the one who was going to have to push another one of his big-headed children out from his crotch in the upcoming days. This was the least he could do for her. She lifted the giftbox and removed the ribbon fastening on the lid. Alessandra lifted the lid to reveal a delicate, gold, three moon pendant with a sizeable amethyst affixed to it. Her jaw dropped as she gaped at the necklace.

“Jesus Christ.”

“He had nothing to do with this one either, my love,” Terzo chuckled. He brushed a strand of Alé’s beautiful hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. Alessandra stared at the jewelry, feeling every emotion all at once. Terzo continued, “I felt this was only fitting. Something nice for the woman who is graciously making me a father for the third time. Grazie, mia dea oscura. Grazie di tutto.”

“Oh Terzo,” Alé sniffed, “This is too much…”

“It is just barely the start, amore,” Terzo hummed, “After all you’ve done for me; with me. You deserve the world, vita mia. Thank you doesn’t seem to cut it.”

Alessandra chuckled as she handed her husband the jewelry to safely place on the table next to his crude gingerbread persons, “Alright, help me up. I’m going to start a bath, you get the kids into bed, then meet me back at the tub. I think you’ve earned one more round to really get something moving here.”

Terzo stared wide-eyed at his wife, in complete disbelief his plan had worked, “Ave Satanas.”

“Come on, cowboy,” Alé rubbed her hand against the length of his hardening cock, she leaned over to him as she pointed a stern finger in his face, as she mocked, “Sbrigati, eh?”

Terzo sucked his teeth, ignoring the piss poor imitation of himself his wife had just pulled on him, as he quickly sprung to his feet to assist Alé. As he helped her up, he pulled her straight into his embrace. He began planting small kisses over her face and neck, “Grazie mille. You will not regret this, Sorella!”

“Last chance, though, mister,” Alé warned him as she pulled away from his arms. Terzo hurriedly began snuffing out candles and grabbing dishes to leave in the kitchenette for later. She winked at him as she waddled down to their bathroom to go make good on her proposition. 

Translations: 

Ben fatto, mia figlia -- Well done, my girl

Stregallina pazza -- Crazy little witch

Piccolo bugiardo -- Little liar

Sbrigati -- Hurry up

Mostriciattoli -- Little monsters

Cattivello -- trouble-maker

Chiacchierone -- Chatterbox

Grazie, mia dea oscura -- Thank you, my dark goddess

Grazie di tutto -- Thank you for everything

[rjmartin11]

Earth Angel, Heavenly Boy Part 3

Pairing: Angel!Elvis & OC!black!female

Summary: After a nearly fatal car accident, a mysterious man saved the life of a young woman who believes the young man is more than what he seems.

Word Count:???

Warnings: Slowburn, talks about God, Biblical stuff like angels, demons, the devil, spirituality, and realism.

Author's Notes: Welcome to Part Three. Bring a little religion in here. I hope that's okay. I'm an open Christian, meaning I gladly speak on God. Elvis was an open Christian, which I find sexy as all get out. As beautiful as he was, he could have been a narcissist, vain, boastful, arrogant, exectra. But he was humble. There's nothing more sexy than a humble man. At least, in my opinion. 😊😊😊

If you enjoy this chapter, like, comment, repost, and follow for more fun!

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・🪽・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

Noel was silent on the drive home. She contemplates her life, and all she can do is remain quiet.

"Nole?" Trish asks. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"What do you want to eat?"

Noel turns to look at Trish and says, "Everything that I've denied for the last two years of this diet. I want burgers and fries and hot dogs and fried chicken and cake and brownies! I've only lost his forty pounds, and I work myself to the bone to make ends meet! I want to go to Italy and eat pizza and pasta and gelato. I wanna drink wine and rum and vodka!"

"Nole! Take a breath!" Trish says.

Noel takes a breath, and the flood gates open. Everything she's holding in comes out all at once. Having a death experience puts a lot in perspective for a woman who had very little.

"Nole, breathe. Take a deep breath and breathe," Trish says. "It's late, but I'll get you something good to eat."

It's fifteen minutes after one in the morning. Trish was able to find an old Mom and Pop restaurant open late. They order up chicken alfredo, spaghetti with meatballs, salad with the fixings, and a large pizza with a bottle of red wine.

By the time they get to her house, Noel and Trish unpack the car and head into Noel's apartment. Noel is thrilled to be home after a long, exhausting day. She's been faithful to her diet, but she needs a cheat day.

They set up her dining table with on the food, grab some plates, and wine glasses. The next thing Noel does is pour herself a glass of wine. Then Noel and Trish begin to indulge quietly in their dinner. Noel eats her dinner like it's going to disappear before she's done.

"Nole, slow down," Trish says.

"Sorry," Noel says, a mouth full of pizza. "I missed this type of cuisine."

Noel sips her wine and thinks about Dr. Elvis Carpenter. What he said about calling him. She was going to need someone to speak to about her issues. She held her glass to her lips.

"Penny for your thoughts, Nole?" Trish says. "I know this is a dumb question to ask, but are you okay?"

"Trish, did you know that the guy who hit me was in the ICU?"

"No, I didn't."

"I kept hearing them say that I shouldn't have survived the crash. I should be dead. They questioned how I'm still here... I know I should be dead. I was dead, Trish." Noel takes another sip from her glass.

"I'm sure you were just terrified, Trish."

"You said you saw my car? How bad was it? Honestly."

Trish looks her in the eyes but remains silent. She can't look in Noel's eyes for long, knowing the truth.

"Your silence speaks volumes."

"Nole... your car was totaled. It flipped over several times, it seemed. All the windows were shattered. There was blood on the driver's side, and a part of the driver's seat was crushed." Trish pauses at the mere thought of it all.

"Physically, you shouldn't be here drinking wine with me. It's theoretically impossible! But here you are without anything close to a scratch on you. Nole, you know I'm not really into the Christian stuff because I'm a realist, but the best word to describe this situation is..."

"Miracle," Noel whispers.

Trish tears up at the word.

"Yeah, Nole. It's a miracle that you're still here. I thought I lost my best friend."

Noel puts down her glass, stretching her arm across the small table to Trish. Trish takes her hand gratefully. A forever bond could have been broken tonight. Some bonds are stronger than others. It's a funny thing how one life can touch so many other lives.

"I love you, Nole."

"I love you too, Trish," Noel says. "I'm not planning on going anywhere for a while. I believe God wants me here just a bit longer."

"Maybe I'll go to church with you on Sunday," Trish said.

"You know, I've been doing bedside Baptist for a while. But I will go back. I think my guardian angel wants me to."

"Guardian angel?"

"Yes. I believe I was saved by an angel. As I woke up, I saw a pair of blue eyes... I believe. Then I fell asleep again."

"You shouldn't go to work tomorrow, Nole," Trish says. "You really need a break."

"I know. I wish I got a doctor's note," Noel said, putting her hand into her scrub pocket.

She feels around for a moment and realizes there's paper in her pocket. She remembered Dr. Carpenter gave her his card, but she didn't recall him giving her a doctor's excuse from work.

"Whoa..."

"Is that a doctor's note?" Trish asks.

"I believe it is. Now, all I have to do is text my boss about what happened."

"Was it that sexy doctor I saw with you?"

Noel cuts her eyes at Trish. Of course, she recognized that Elvis was gorgeous. It was undeniable, but he was out of her league.

"I believe it was Dr. Carpenter. It's his signature," Noel said.

"Dr. Carpenter? Did he give you his first name?"

"Yeah. It's Elvis, but I don't have time."

"If the accident has proven anything tonight, it's we don't have all the time in the world, Nole! Did he give you his number?" She asks Noel.

"Yes, on the professional basis that he analyzes me and sees that I'm okay. Not that way, Trish."

Noel had other things on her mind. She had this sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't want to lie to her boss, but she felt the boss wouldn't be understanding at the situation. It would be one thing if she was in the hospital banged up from the accident. But she came out untouched. Her car is totaled, and she needs to make plans for a loaner vehicle to get from place to place. But if she feels great, she should go to work. She'll worry about it in the morning. Not now.

"Do you need company?" Trish asks.

"I'm fine. You go home. Thank you for bringing me home and picking up dinner. I appreciate it more than you know, Trish."

"You're my best friend. If you need it, you got it. I know you're proud, but I'm here for you. Plus, you had a rough day."

"Yeah."

Noel and Trish kiss each other's cheeks and hug before Trish heads out on her way home. Noel tells her to drive safely and locks the door behind her.

Noel takes this time to clean up the table and put her leftovers in the fridge. Trish bought her enough food to last her the rest of the week. She was grateful for that. She finishes up her glass of wine and gets ready to shower.

When she sits in bed, Noel's mind is still running wild for the evening's events. She doesn't know how to slow her thoughts down. She gets herself a bottle of water and brings it back to her room. She takes a sip, turns out the light, and gets into the bed, resting her body. She closes her eyes and tries to sleep.

Taglist: @missmaywemeetagain @beeandheroddobsessions @headfullofpresley @everythingpresley @epforeverohyes @vintagepresley @pianginferno @powerofelvis @ab4eva @foreverdolly @searchingforgravity @thatbanditqueen @daffieapple @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @epsgirl @richardslady121 @literally-just-elvis-fics @eptodaytommorowforever @vintageshanny @iloveelvis @dreamingofep @aliypop @littlehoneyposts @msamarican