#didn’t stop me from blasting music in my headphones tho

[floral-hex]

I think this is maybe the best compliment I’ve ever received.

Also, I was pretty much deaf for the last few days, so… take the good with the bad

[lucillele]

𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 | 𝟑

Shuri x black!fem!reader

Summary: Going to a party with your “friends” seemed like it going in the wrong turn but luckily you met someone special.

Warning: angsty, fluff at the tho, i tried to make it fluff to make up for the angst 🤧🤧

A/N: I wasn’t expecting to write this in a day but I had nothing to do so. I couldn’t write the end without my ears burning tho. 🤭🤭

@honey-teaaaaaaaa @tchhairbandhere @madddogmaddi

Part 1 | Part 2

After what happened with Shuri, you couldn’t go back to Ari and have to explain why you were crying and couldn’t help her. It would’ve made everything worse and more embarrassing. You could barely fathom how this situation could even get worse considering you might’ve just ruined your relationship with one of the only people that understood you. With one of the only people you’ve ever loved this much in your life.

You ended up getting an uber and staying at a motel nearby. It was sad, sure, but in your mind, it was easier than having to confront everything all at once when it was all fresh in your heart and mind. You just sat there watching whatever channels you could get to distract you from everything. It took a while but eventually, you were somehow able to tune in but not without little triggers here and there reminding you of your real life. You felt pathetic but life had to go on.

Unfortunately, you let a week pass without talking to Shuri at all. The texts stopped just yesterday which should’ve sent you into a breakdown but you just pushed it down as always. You just studied and studied and when you weren’t studying, you were watching whatever you could find in your dorm room under the covers.

Ari had gently tried to get you to talk to her but you refused, saying you were fine. You could tell she was walking on eggshells around you. There were no jokes, just silence, and no matter how many times you tried to tell her you were fine, she didn’t believe you. “It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself more than me.” She said looking at you with a stern but soft look. “If you don’t want to talk to me, it’s ok. But please be honest with yourself at least.” She said, pulling you into a hug that you desperately needed though you wouldn’t have asked for it out loud.

You couldn’t go back to the regular spot that you would study in so you adopted a new one in a coffee shop nearby. It was somewhat comforting when you stopped thinking about where you could be at the moment. You spent an abnormal amount of time there than usual so much so that it had become normal for the employees to escort you out of the cafe to make sure you were safe. “Have a good night and good luck with your exams!” One of the employees, Joy said, waving. “You too! Thank you.” You yelled from the parking lot before driving back to the dorms.

You made sure to lock the door about three times and walked to your room with your music blasting in one headphone. You didn’t even let yourself enjoy the music and did a mental check for everything you had to do. You always had to think about something or your mind would gravitate to what should’ve happened and what you did wrong. Ari’s question was on your mind along with Shuri’s well-being. It was killing you to not see her or know how she was doing but still, you kept your distance.

“She looks so sad now. I kind of feel bad.” You heard a familiar voice say from a room you were walking up to. “Don’t. She’ll be fine and we didn’t do anything bad anyway.” You heard Jada reply. The moment you walked past the room, you heard your name being called and a tap on your shoulder. “Hey, babe. You okay?” Elle said, looking worried though you were sure she was more worried about her moral standing than how you felt.

“Yeah. No reason to feel bad.” You said, before putting your headphones back in and turning back around to continue walking when you felt an arm grab your shoulder. “Hey don’t be like that. We were just talking about how we were worried.” Elle said, Aliyah and Jada now watching the interaction from the door.

“Elle, do me a favor. You were always the least bad one so get out while you can, but please, leave me alone.” You said, taking her hand off of your shoulder. You heard a laugh from Jada who walked up to you. “I knew all that ‘I’m shy’ shit was an act.” She said, looking at you up and down.

“It’s called anxiety and you would know that if you bothered to listen. This isn’t a high school, so find some other way to be a mean bitch. I’m done being your outlet.” You said before turning around and walking as fast as you could to your dorm.

You slammed the door closed, making Ari jump and almost drop her laptop. “The hell?” She said, looking at you with wide eyes. “I may have made a mistake.” You said, leaning against the closed door, sliding down to the floor, making Ari walk over to you and sit down on the ground, ready to listen. “I went off on Jada, Aliyah, and Elle. Well, really Jada and Elle. Aliyah was nosy as usual.”

“I have been waiting for this since the day you became friends with those toxic ho-“ She said getting cut off by your phone ringing. It was Shuri. The calls had stopped a few days ago. Why was she calling now? “This is perfect. Use some of that energy to tell her how you feel.” She said, grabbing your phone from your hand and accepting it. “Hello? Y/N?” It was the first time you had heard her voice in a while and sure it wasn’t poetic at all, but it was enough to give you those feelings again. You hesitantly grabbed your phone from Ari’s hand making her go into the bathroom to give you two some privacy even though you knew damn well she would be listening through the door.

“Hi.” You said. There was silence for a few minutes as Shuri smiled and inwardly cheered at her being able to reach you. “I’m sorry.” You said before she could say anything else. “No. No, it’s fi-” You continued, accidentally cutting her off. “I’m sorry I took everything out on you. You..you didn’t deserve that. I’m the one who made everything a big deal.” You said, pacing through the room. “I just wanted to apologize.” You said, ending the call before you could even hear what Shuri had to say.

You wasted no time, throwing your phone at the wall and flopping onto your bed, groaning. “Goddamn it!” You said, covering your face with your hands. Ari had now come out of the bathroom and sat on your bed. As you felt the weight on the bed shift, you turned to look at Ari. “I’m sorry you have to deal with this.” You said, making Ari look offended. “You know how many times you stopped me from throwing my life down the drain over people and situations that didn’t deserve it.” She said, poking your cheek. “Yeah.” You said softly, remembering all the times you had to talk Ari down her impulses.

“So don’t be sorry. You helped me, I am going to help you from destroying your love life.” She said, getting off the bed and grabbing your now cracked phone from the floor and her from her bed. “Damn! Good thing you have a screen protector” She muttered at the cracked phone as she unlocked your phone and got Shuri’s number from your phone and put it into hers.

“What are you doing?” You said, sitting up. “I am going to tell your boo how you feel about her, you're going to keep avoiding her, and she’ll come running,” Ari said, like it was simple. You just stared at her the whole time trying to figure out if she was joking. “See?” She said, showing you the text she sent to Shuri. ‘Hey. It’s Ari Y/N’s best friend. We need to talk about her. Meet me at that cafe around the corner at 8 pm tomorrow.’ You looked at her with wide eyes trying to figure out what was going on in her head. “Now we wait.”

Ari sat in a booth not far from the one you always sat in, texting you while she was waiting for Shuri. ‘She's here’ She quickly typed and then put her phone into her pocket. Shuri walked in looking around the cafe before finding Ari who waved her over.

“What’s going on with Y/N?” Shuri asked as she sat down. “Wow. No hi or hello?” Ari said, sipping her tea. “Oh, I’m so sorry-“ Shuri immediately apologized. “Relax. I’m trying to get you to loosen up a bit but I’ll just cut straight to the chase. She loves you a lot.” She said nonchalantly knowing it would drive Shuri crazy. She was definitely going to be bragging about this at your wedding. “What?” Shuri said, not having processed it yet. “I literally had to slap her to get her to stop freaking out about you. I said sorry though.” Ari said, stirring her tea, making the spoon clink against the cup, and ignoring the vibrations coming from her phone.

“She’s been really stressed between telling you how she feels and those b- old friends of hers.” Shuri listened with all the focus she had. “I thought she stopped being friends with them weeks ago.” She said, sitting back in against the cushioned seat. “Oh, she did. They just didn’t stop bothering her until she told them off today.” Ari replied, going on to explain the whole thing, making Shuri lean forward.

Shuri now understood you were under a lot of pressure and that you were avoiding her to stop the risk of making it worse. And she wasn’t having it. “She’s acting strong but..she needs you,” Ari said being serious this time. Shuri nodded and thanked Ari as she got up. Ari smiled as she watched Shuri leave and walk with purpose. ‘You’re welcome.’ She texted you and sipped her tea, satisfied with herself.

You went through your normal routine which was starting to get boring but you went through it anyway. At this point, you were studying for leisure since there was nothing else to do. You had no idea what you were going to do to make the situation better if you even could.

You slammed your textbook closed and sat back, slowly taking in air and letting it all out at once. “Are you ok?” Joy asked, sitting down. You nodded, giving her a small smile. Your smile dropped when you saw Shuri getting out of her car. As you two made eye contact, you turned to Joy. “Do you know where the back door is?” You said making Joy’s eyebrows raise and mouth open like a fish before closing it. She finally got the hint as she saw you looking at Shuri getting closer to the cafe. “You can’t avoid her forever.” She said. “Joy, please.” You pleaded, quickly packing up your things and occasionally glancing at Shuri. Joy nodded, letting out a breath and showing you to the back door.

You walked out with your backpack on and peeked around the corner to see if she was in the cafe yet. After you hadn’t seen her, you decided it was safe for you to head to the comic book store next door. However, before you could get far, you felt an arm grab yours and felt your body collide with someone. Shuri’s. You stepped back a bit but felt her step closer. “Look at me.” She said. You kept your head down, too ashamed to look her in the eye so she used her hand to tilt your head to look up at her.

She looked at you, observing every detail that she had been missing for the past few days. Her heart hurt at the dark circles you had gained lately. You probably weren’t sleeping well which she was right about. The only times you had gotten good sleep was when you stayed up to the point where you fell out or after you cried. “I’m s-” You started but she interrupted you. “Let me speak this time.” She said, her hand leaving your chin and grabbing your hand. “We’re so much more than friends and you know that. I love you and I want you to have no doubt about it. I love you even when you’re stubborn. I love you even if you're avoiding me. I love you even when you’re mad at me. I love you. Do you understand?” She said, saying the last part sternly.

You nodded eyes wide, still processing everything that was happening. You pinched yourself, then Shuri who looked at you with raised brows. “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to make sure I’m not dreaming. I ruined it, didn’t I? God, I’m so stupid. I’m s-” You said facepalming. “I am so tired of hearing you say sorry. You didn’t ruin anything. You made it better.” Shuri said, pulling you closer to her by your waist. Something told you she wasn’t just talking about this moment but you had no time to think about it before she pulled you in a kiss. It was fueled by everything that had happened since you two met each other. You got over the surprise very quickly as you fletcher lips on yours. Your hands naturally gravitated to rest on her shoulders as all you could think about was her.

The kiss ended with you both needing air. “Wow.” was all you could say as you breathed in and fanned your burning ears, causing Shuri to smile at her effect on you. At the moment, she was acting cool but her mind was on fire with visions of you two’s near and far future. “I guess you could say I made you breathless.” Shuri joked, making you lightly hit her on the arm. Thank god for Ari and her amazing advice.

“So your friend basically manipulated me into confessing my love for you?” Shuri said, looking up at the ceiling You were cuddled into her side in one of her big t-shirts. “I don’t know about manipulated. Well sort of. I just went with it. I was desperate, okay?” You said, moving your head towards her neck, slightly embarrassed. “It worked. I would’ve come to you either way.” She said, looking down at you, eyes full of love. You looked up at her before smiling. “Cause you love me.” You said, in a sing-songy voice, poking her cheek. “Because I love you.” She said like it was indisputable.

It had been a few weeks since you and Shuri officially started dating. You loved it and you two quickly became known as a couple on campus which many people hated due to jealousy but many people also loved it. The questions only got worse but seeing as though you were doing better, it was funny to hear when people respected you and Shuri’s boundaries.

Unsurprisingly, Jada and Aliyah were the ones still asking uncomfortable and straight disrespectful questions but you had shown them you weren’t the one to try and Shuri made it known as well. Elle had tried to redeem herself on her own and kept your wishes to be alone. Ari was happy to be the matchmaker with you and Shuri and even inspired herself to find someone. Though you promised yourself to never get drunk like that again with no one around to help you, you were glad you made the mistake that one day.

[asociallyawkwardteen]

FACE - Woosung/Sammy Kim - Drabble

Kim Woosung/Sammy Kim x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers

Word count: 2,5k

Summary: After a long semester of uni finally comes to an end, y/n and her friends are able to go out again and have fun. A fun night out turns into something very beautiful.

(Also I would like to apologize for any errors, english is not my first langugae so please have mercy on me ^^’)

~Hope you like it!

„Finally!!! We are done with all those stupid exams!!!” your friend Coco shouted once you got back to your apartment from Uni after having your last exam for this semester today.

“Hey, you do know that we have neighbors, right?” you giggled, hitting her in a playful way.

“Yeah, yeah, but aren’t you glad that we finally can relax?? We should celebrate it!”

“Of course I am glad, silly. So how do you want to celebrate surviving another semester?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure yet but I want to do it tonight! Otherwise it’s not as much of an celebration.”

“Sounds a lot like you want to go drinking, huh?”

She smiled at you sheepishly, “Maybe…”

“Okay so a girls night out it is?”

“Eeeeh…” she started hesitatingly, blushing a little

“what do you mean ‘eeeh’?”

“How about…”

“Wait! You want to ask the cute guy from our history class out, don’t you??” you said wiggling your eyebrows at her

“Heyy!” she punched your arm, “what I was going to say was: we could gather a few of our friends… and maaaaybe also hajoon…” she got quieter during the end mumbling the last word.

You grinned. “Well you can invite some people I guess, still don’t have a lot of friends that aren’t also yours here” you smiled a little embarrassed at yourself hearing that coming out of your mouth after being here for already one and a half year.

“Oh just not too many please… I’d like to still keep the circle small tonight.” you added

“Sure thing she said, sitting down on the couch and already looking through her phone for the right people”

Some time passed and you used it well by taking a nap, seemed like the best idea since you’re probably gonna be out the whole night. However, your peaceful slumber was rudely interrupted by Coco barging in your room exclaiming that she finally had the perfect selection of people.

You mumbled a half awake “Shoot” and nuzzled your head back into your pillow.

“Okay so, since we want a rather small group this time, I made sure that I selected them very carefully!” She listed a few of your friend group to which you just nodded to, still half asleep.

“And-I-also-might-have-asked-Hajoon-if-he-was-free-and-he-is-joining-us!!” She quickly spat out hiding her face in her hands squealing like a little kid.

You grinned at her, “glad you finally had the guts to ask him out!”

“That’s not all thought, I thought that since I would be a little occupied with hajoon tonight I though I would invite someone for you too! BUT- Please don’t hit me now okay!”

You slowly opened your eyes looking at her kinda pissed already. “And who would that someone be?”

“Sammy…” she mumbled

“HUH?!?!” now it was really over with your beauty sleep, you shot up in your bed looking at her in disbelief. “Sammy?, you… mean Sammy Kim?? Your freind from highschool, who I had nothing but awkward interaction with since I met him last year?” 

“Awkward Interactions?” she giggled, “ if that’s what you call love at first sight but no clue how to handle it, yeah sure you guys had some AwKwArD InTeRaCtIoNs. And now don’t act like I didn’t realize how you two were looking at each other that night, plus how often you too hung out to sTuDy.”

“No No No, he really helped me out with my photography project back then, and you promised me that we would never speak of that night again!�� Just as you finished your sentence Coco’s phone made a ding. She opened it and grinned once again.

“Oh come on you both have the hots for each other but your are both to scared to admit it and I like the effect you have on each other, you both are like creative chargers for one another. I’ve yet to see you procrastinate when he is around and you have heard his music improving yourself, do you think that comes just out of nowhere? Huh? Whatever he just texted that he is coming tonight so this discussion is over!”

You looked at her with wide eyes and your heart skipping a beat. You definitely have a crush on Sammy and yeah maybe that happened the first time you met him BUT you were just never really the relationship type of girl, plus you didn’t plan on staying in Korea after Uni so you didn’t want to get to attached to something/someone plus you liked things the way they were up until said night. New Years Eve Party to be exact. You and Coco had a party at the Apartment and most of your friends were wasted at 1am already and Sammy and You also had quite a bit to drink, one thing led to another and you only remember waking up next to him in your bed, all cuddled up together with and hunch of what could have happened. Luckily you two were up before everyone else thinking nobody noticed but of course Coco knew the second she looked at you once she woke up. Sammy had to leave quickly that day because of some issues with brother, who wanted to visit him on New Year’s. Ever since than you two tried to keep it casual by not addressing it at all and kind of ignoring each other and your feelings for one another a bit. Until now apparently.

You sighed falling back into your cozy bed once Coco left your room.

~Time skip~

You pushed the thoughts of the night ahead to the side -mostly for Coco since she was worried that you were actually mad at her.

To proof her wrong you put on a smile and you two started to get ready together while blasting music and starting to pre drink a bit. It felt so good though to finally have the time to go out with some friends again after all that studying and stress with exams, just getting ready with your roommate was already so much fun.

Soon your uber came and you were on your way to the club where Coco told the others to meet you. You saw Sammy already when from the car, and your heart stopped a beat. He was just leaning against the wall, headphones in and on his phone. You took a second to admire him before the car came to a spot where you guys could get out. Coco saw him as well form where you two were and tried to scare him since he wasn’t aware of his surroundings, but she failed.

You greeted Sammy with a warm hug, thinking that he would probably feel your fast heartbeat but you always hugged him to say hello and you didn’t want to make things more weird. To your surprise you could feel his heartbeat as well, which weirdly calmed you down a bit.

You too still kept a bit of a distance for now just making things seem “casual”, clearly aware of the tension between the two of you. You got a table at your favorite club and soon drinks started to flow. Your group had an awesome time dancing, drinking, catching up and just enjoying your freedom for now

The DJ was great and constantly playing what you wanted, a couple hours went by and your friend group started to get smaller, one after the other leaving with someone they flirted with for about half an hour. Oh and Coco was all tangled up with Hajoon just as you both expected. You didn’t care about all of that too much just enjoying yourself on the dance floor and chatting a bit with Sammy while still continuously ordering drinks.

Of course some dudes tried to hit on you especially while you were dancing, overflowing with confidence but you just told them to get lost, you were really not interested in any of them. You were really just here to have fun but as you caught a glimpse of the way Sammy was watching your every move you smiled a bit to yourself.

You both were a bit buzzed by now, it being around 1:30am and most of your friends, well actually all of them already gone. The club was still buzzing and you were in no way ready to leave yet, neither was Sammy. It may seem a bit boring to just stand at a table watching a girl dance for hours, only taking breaks to pee or take another shot, not for him tho. Watching your body float over that dancefloor, never missing a single beat, smiling with closed eyes. And every time you were sick of a song you made your way over to him smiling with sparkling eyes in which he could get lost in forever. Every time you would come over you two had a shot or two and every time you went back on the dancefloor you tried to convince him to come with you. He came with once or twice, wanting to stay there with you the whole night just being weightless together but he knew that if he kept dancing with you and already being a bit drunk, he would want more and he wasn’t sure if you were okay with that so he stayed at the table.

At around 3am your feet started to hurt from all the dancing in your heels and you were feeling pretty dizzy, still not wanting to stop dirinking. Sammy knew by the way you came back to him that you were ready to leave and get some food somewhere.

“Sammy…! Wanna grab a bite somewhere?!” you shouted in his ear hoping he would understand with all the loud music and people talking.

To be completely honest he didn’t understand anything over the loud music and his own spinning head but he knew what you wanted so he just nodded and you two left. Once you stepped out of the club you both took a deep breath an looked at each other for a second. In this moment the only thing you wanted to do was kiss him, get lost in his touch and never wake up from it again but instead you just smiled at him and repeatedly said that you were hungry.

Sammy was in the same position, he knew that soon he would not be able to contain himself if you keep looking at him with those intense eyes of yours. He laughed at you being a whiny baby and took your hand to lead you to your guys’ favorite 4am drunk-food place. You both knew that he initially just wanted to yank you a bit in the direction you had to go yet you kept walking hands interlocked up until you got to the food place. It just felt so natural that none of you wanted to let go, so you kept it that way for a few moments longer.

You two kept chatting a bit while enjoying your food. For the few other people in the restaurant you two just looked like a regular couple acting all cute together, feeding each other and giggling while still ordering a few drinks. The owner of the restaurant actually thought you two were so cute that she gave you another soju-bottle for free, “For the lovebirds” she said as she put a the bottle down and winked at you.

You looked at each other with big eyes and you started to giggle since you were still pretty drunk. You took the soju with you and left the restaurant after paying. You were not ready to leave one another yet but you remember that Sammy had that great view from his apartment rooftop so you went there, on the way your hands found each other again and you just walked in silence, enjoying each other’s company.

You set up everything and settled down on the roof with your soju and a blanket just starring into nothing. Soon the two of you were cuddled up listening to each other’s breath.

You sighed “I missed this, you know?”

“Missed what?” he tried playing dumb

“This.. you… us..” you mumbled into his chest trying to hide your blushing

“Me too” he said while running his hands through your hair.

You lifted your head to look at him in the dim light just taking in his features bit by bit. He just smiled at you, slowly closing his eyes, like a cat would do. Carefully you sat up a bit and firmly pressed your lips on his. He smiled into the kiss. It was a very sweet delicate kiss, maybe even innocent, savoring every little moment of a innocent yet so powerful love. You two dragged the kiss as long as your lungs would allow it, after that you quickly nuzzled your head into his warm chest again.

“We should head inside it’s really getting cold and I don’t want you to get sick…” he softly whispered

You nodded and you packed your things to move into the apartment. It was so much warmer and just as cozy as you remembered it. You let out a yawn, stretching your body, Sammy saw his chance and wrapped his arms around you from behind burring his head in your neck. “Tired?” he asked softly.

“yeah… a bit…”

“then let’s go to bed then, shall we?” he asked while already heading towards the bedroom. He gave you his favorite shirt and shorts to sleep in, knowing you would have asked for them sooner or later, also he loved the way they looked on you. You excused yourself to the bathroom to change.

Once you locked the door behind you, you started to freak out silently a bit but on the other hand, everything just felt so right, Your bodies and minds just fit perfectly together and you were kind of mad at yourself for wanting to cut this awesome connection after it got a bit more serious. You washed you face, changed into the clothes he gave you and took a deep breath before heading back to the bedroom.

Sammy was already all cuddled up and his room looked even more comfortable with the delicate fairy-lights you gifted him last Christmas. You crawled next to him getting comfortable. He gave you another soft kiss, but you wanted more. You started to intensify it to which he gave in, you were hungry for him the whole night already so you were more than eager letting your hand slowly travel over his body an to the hem of his boxers but suddenly he grabbed your hand. A bit perplex you broke the kiss and looked at him confused.

“did... did I do something wrong?” you asked quietly “Do you not want to?”

“you didn’t do anything wrong y/n…” he gave you a peck “It’s just, the last time we did it too quickly and lost each other for a few months… And I don’t want to lose you… this... us again... is… is it okay if we just fall asleep in each other’s arms for now?”

You started to tear up a bit at his words, this was the first time he actually told you how he really felt -probably a bit because of the alcohol too but you didn’t mind that- and it made you realize how you felt as well, so you nodded stealing one last kiss before cuddling up with him and slowly drifting of to sleep while listening to his heartbeat.

~To be continued~

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

Untitled | Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader

Characters: Iwaizumi Hajime, Reader, Oikawa Tooru

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader

Word Count:  2571

Summary: "At first, he thought you sent him those videos (by mistake) as a prank. And he got annoyed. But as started to text you, he realised how sweet you are, how kind and lovely. And he fell, hard." This was the prompt, tho I didn't follow it completely

A/N: This is very much so self-indulgent, so no judging me. This is based off of a matchup I got from @forgetou that I absolutely adored, and just had to write. Thank you for giving me permission to use it, absolutely angel

-------

It wasn’t that Iwaizumi had anything against you - he didn’t really have any feelings one way or the other - although if he had to choose, he definitely wouldn’t keep you in his life for long. He didn’t even know much about you other than that you were smart (being in the same class as him told him that), but your personality was a bit… much? Extremely immature? Carefree? Naive? A lot of things. Definitely not his cup of tea - he already had enough trouble coping with Oikawa - but at least him and Oikawa had things in common.

From what he could see, you felt the exact same way, never offering him a second glance when he entered the classroom.

So, why had you sent him a video?

The only reason he had your number to begin with was because of a project you’d been forced to work on last year with him; you hadn’t messaged him since, and neither had he.

He hesitated before opening the video; you were smiling so brightly, awkwardly looking around your room for some sort of escape from whatever you were about to say, “okay, okay, you finally convinced me!” You cheered, squeezing your eyes shut and smiling brighter. “This is for all my lovely friends-” Oh, so it’s just a prank. He huffed at his own thoughts; the idea that you were just pulling a prank on him pissed him off “-since you guys say that my singing makes you happy? I don’t get it… especially since I can’t sing,” you rubbed the back of your neck. “I- I guess I’ll just get this over with.”

You reached over to the side, grabbing a pair of headphones, they were ridiculously too big for your head, but you didn’t seem to care. A large intake of breath before you pushed away from your desk; your hand shook as you turned on the music, it was a split second before you started singing.

You’ve been such a jerk

since you left last week

You were staring at something off camera, eyes dancing over, what he could only assume to be, the lyrics as you sang. He had to admit you were right, you couldn’t hit a single note, making it almost painful just to listen. Then your smile slowly brightened again, shining within your eyes.

You’re careful with your words

but I’m pulling teeth 

you said this wouldn’t hurt

Bobbing your head and swaying, finally letting any anxiety and ease wash over you. Right now he was more concerned that he could hear each lyric blasting through the headphones, like you were trying to drown yourself out - surely you were going to damage your ears.

Give me cavities

And all of your apologies are only empty calories

You smiled brightly, squeezing your eyes shut but facing the camera. You put your hand on your chest; the impact made him wince, but you didn’t falter in your words.

After all this time

I start asking why I’m staying

were you ever mine?

You pointed at the camera, quirking up one brow as if it were an actual question. The more you wriggled and danced the more your hair flew around; such a pure enthusiasm in every movement. There it was. The childish nature he was used to seeing from you. The one that pissed him off so much.

Are we something that’s worth saving?

every conversation puts me back on medication sometimes

sorry’s just another word you’re saying

He must have been going crazy when he saw some actual sadness twinkle into your eyes; he decided that he was just reading far too into it.

Do I look like her

Does she talk like me?

Your brows furrowed together, staring off camera again. As you sang (read: yelled) the lyrics, there was something more to them. Something more fiery. Maybe you just related to the lyrics. He couldn’t know.

Been feeling insecure

Codependency is hard to break

You wrapped your arms around your body, that sadness trickled in again, there was no questioning it this time. Not even a second passed before you smiled brightly again, acting like there was nothing to be seen. Acting like that was all for show.

When you never make it easy

Reconstructive surgery can’t fix my anxiety

You squished your cheeks together, mumbling the words. He watched you intently as you repeated the chorus. Pumping your fist and spinning around lightly in your chair - a strange mixture of emotions erupted on your face when the wire to your headphones wrapped around something out of his vision, forcing them off of your head. The music blasted freely as you broke out into a fit of laughter, snorting and cackling like a hyena.

You turned back towards the camera when you finally stopped laughing, “so that happened, um, thank you for listening! I love you guys so much.” You winked at the camera, lazily blowing a kiss before the video ended.

Iwaizumi was almost in shock - though that was quickly brushed away by the anger from the obvious prank. You couldn’t really think he was that stupid, could you? He pondered the idea of shooting you a text, telling you that this was ridiculously childish behaviour; that was probably exactly what you wanted, so he chose not to give you a reaction at all.

That wasn’t the last time you sent him a video of you singing.

In fact, you sent one every single day for a few weeks. He listened to each one of them - definitely not feeling more positive and self-assured after each one. There was a theme; they were all mostly upbeat, something you could easily jam and bob your head to, something that gave you a lot of energy. Sometimes you were out of breath after it.

Still, after that wave of happiness came the storm of anger because, despite the fact he hadn’t given you a reaction to his prank, you were still trying to prank him.

Yet there was something so endearing as you cheered and smiled - sure, you were childish, but maybe he could see why people liked you after all. Something so pure about your reactions. Something so unfiltered and contagious (he’d never admit it, but he had started making a playlist of the songs you sang).

Eventually, he stopped seeing them as a prank and started looking forward to them. It was weird; he’d be in the middle of studying and suddenly remember that you’d probably send a video soon, his heart would flutter.

Nothing about your in person relationship changed; you rarely looked in his direction, too occupied with your own head space to even realise he was there. He couldn’t help but feel jealous as you laughed with classmates, brushing their arms, patting them on the head, comparing hand sizes - it was strange.

Even Oikawa seemed to notice the way he flickered his eyes over to you, often teasing him - until Iwaizumi smacked him over the head - that was always enough to stop the setter.

Slowly, he realised that maybe you weren’t as childish as he thought. Sure, innocence was a big part of your act, but there was so much more underneath the surface that he hadn’t realised. You took notes like your life depended on it; you’d nibble at your nails when you were deep in thought; sometimes that concentration led to your tongue poking out between your lips, very cat-like. You had horrible balance but a love for climbing things - that was how you’d ended up with a lot of injuries. You weren’t too good at sports, when they’d played volleyball in gym you fumbled through receives, failed at sets, serves were just as worse, not even talking about your spikes - they were laughable. Even when you face-planted roughly, earning worried cries from friends, you still got back up and asked to try again. He was worried, and intrigued, you had a lot of energy and he admired it.

For two months, you sent a video every single day.

Until one day you stopped.

Maybe you finally realised that the prank wasn’t going to work; or maybe it was something else. Any excitement Iwaizumi had felt for them quickly faded.

You seemed to act differently, too, still smiling sweetly to anyone who greeted you, but past that… everything seemed unnatural. He wanted to ask you what was wrong, to figure out what was going on in your mind; one day, he expressed those worries to Oikawa, “I thought you hated her.” The setter hummed running his hand through his hair.

Iwaizumi shrugged, “I- maybe I judged her wrong, I don’t know.” He glanced back over at you, noticing how you absentmindedly traced the back of your hand. “She… when she gets really happy, it’s… cute. And seeing her like this?” He didn’t like how much he cared about her, it was frustrating. It felt like how he felt for Oikawa, but more intense - like he wanted to protect her from something, but he didn’t even know what it was.

He wasn’t paying much attention, not until Oikawa started walking in your direction, looking over his shoulder and tossing the spiker a wink. He listened intently, “hey, L/N, right?” Oikawa mused, looking around nonchalantly.

A wave of indifference flashed over your eyes before you smiled brightly, sitting up straight, “yep. What can I do for you…? Sorry, what’s your name?” Suddenly, everyone gaped at you - Iwaizumi had to physically stop himself from bursting out laughing - it only got harder when Oikawa looked like you had crushed his whole world.

“Y/N! That’s Oikawa Tooru,” your friend called out. You turned to look at her, then back at him, “you know, the volleyball team's captain?” You raised a brow again, still confused. “How have you not heard of him?”

“This school is massive, you can’t expect me to know every student’s name,” you huffed and rolled your eyes, “what can I do for you, Oizawa?”

That was another low blow; you could have heard a pin drop in the silence, people were still staring at you, “...kawa.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s… Oikawa.”

“Okay, but that still doesn’t answer my question,” even though your face was cheery, the indifference had worked its way into your tone.

“My friend, you probably haven’t heard of him,” he turned and looked back at Iwaizumi - the spiker didn’t think he’d ever seen Oikawa so defeated, “that’s-”

“Iwaizumi Hajime?” You locked eyes with the brunette, smiling slightly, “why wouldn’t I have heard of him?”

Your friend smacked your arm, “Y/N!”

“What? He’s literally in my class and I did a project with him last year. I don’t get what the confusion is.” You pointed out, waving an enthusiastic arm at him - you really knew how to crush Oikawa’s ego - the setter almost looked offended, but also relieved.

“He wants to talk to you.” Oikawa sighed, turning away.

“He couldn’t say that himself?” You laughed, standing up and walking with Oikawa over to Iwaizumi. “What is it?” You asked when you reached him, fingers interlocked in front of you.

“Um… Can I- in private?” This was more unusual, the fact he couldn’t find the words to say to you.

The smile reached up into your eyes, not fully taking over, but enough to show your own intrigue. You nodded, letting him lead the way - your friends were gawking at you, but you simply waved them off.

He led you through the maze of halls until he reached the roof - he was right to think it would be quiet this time of day - only one other person sat up here, and even they were on the complete opposite end. When he stopped walking, you chimed, “well, I’m listening.” You looked so expectant, watching with such intensity as he pulled out his phone, getting up your contact.

“Are you okay?” He asked, trying to find the right moment to turn around his phone.

“Yep,” you cheered, “now, did you really bring me up here just to ask that?” You rolled your eyes but the action was counteracted by the playful smile on your lips.

“I just… it’s- you stopped sending videos.” He passed you his phone, giving you a chance to examine his screen. Your eyes opened wide, confusion and shock danced in your expression. “I was just worried, because you always looked so happy during them but-”

“You were worried about me?” Your voice was soft, almost unsure.

“Well, yeah, I mean,” he awkwardly chuckled, “I thought it was a prank at first.”

“Why would I prank you?” You looked up at him quickly.

“When we did our project together, you seemed like you didn’t like me…” he admitted. “And you reminded me of Oikawa, and it sort of pissed me off.”

“You were pissed off at me for acting like Oizawa?”

“Oikawa.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you waved him off.

“Then you sent me the videos and- I just realised that I was wrong… about you! And I really looked forward to seeing them.” He was uncharacteristically awkward, his heart fluttering slightly when you smiled. Warmth rose to your cheeks, eyes sparkling at the idea of him getting excited to see you sing.

“I… I never actually meant to send them to you, but you never complained, so… I just kept doing it.” You admitted, rubbing the back of your neck nervously, passing him back his phone. “And!” You called out, eyes wide again with an overwhelming passion, “I never hated you, or whatever it was you said. I thought you hated me so I just… I guess… kept away?”

That news hit Iwaizumi like a truck. The reason you avoided him was because you thought he hated you? He certainly never hated you, though he would admit he hadn’t always been the nicest. It all made sense, why you never gave him a second glance, why you didn’t greet him like everyone else. He had never felt more stupid in his life.

“That and I really liked you before so I was super nervous,” you avoided his eyes, a rush of confidence had overtaken you before you could even think about the words.

He blinked at you. Once. Twice. Three times. Mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “What?” That came out a lot quieter than he wanted, but you heard it nonetheless.

“I liked you.” You nodded, punctuating the sentence with a hefty ‘hmpf’ while crossing your arms under your chest.

Again, shocking news to Iwaizumi. By the time you two did the project together, Oikawa had already had the heart’s of every girl around him stolen. Yet he could never see the way you blushed at him, the second glances you took (though those were all before the project). Damn, you didn’t even know who Oikawa was, not even now when his name was in the mouths of every girl - every girl except you.

“I… I still like you.” You stepped away, running the pads of your fingers over your knuckles.

You could have sworn he short-circuited right there.

It took him a few minutes to get his composure, you just stared at him awkwardly, humming occasionally to try and ease the awkward silence.

“I… like you, too.” He muttered, covering his mouth with his hand. Of course you heard it. That soft smile was enough to make his heart thunder in his chest.

----

Y/N eventually asks Iwaizumi on a date to a volleyball game (because even if she knows nothing, she wants to see him happy)

When Iwaizumi gets to take her on a date, it’s obviously to a karaoke place, because despite her inability to hit any notes, he’d do anything to hear her sing again

Y/N still refuses to call Oikawa by his name (Oizawa all the way)

She starts sending him singing videos again, under the pretence that he sends them back

He complies

Oikawa started to send him singing videos, but Iwa just blocked him for a week

Because how dare he

----

Taglist:

@pies-writes-and-more

If you want to be added to my taglist, send me a DM or an ask

[smolboiseavey]

“Hey, that’s my song!” // Daniel x Reader

word count: 1k

warnings: cheesy, kind of gross, wrote it in literally like 45 minutes, also inspired by tiktok

soulmate au where you can hear what your soulmate is listening to and vice versa. really fluffy and there's like no plot at all lol

hello I'm back from the dead

call me Taylor swift (Bri added this in)

Okay so 

Basically this doesn't make any sense logically but its a tiktok thing and i wanted to write about it

So

Here we go

One day, you’re just chillin

And all of a sudden, you hear quiet music in the back of your mind 

Like it wasn’t playing out loud like you originally thought, but rather playing inside your head

Confused, you turn to the internet for answers

A quick google search later, you find out its a type of soulmate link

The link allows you to hear what song they’re listening to

And whoever they were, definitely had good taste

It didn’t sound familiar, but it slapped

You couldn’t hear it well, but you did pick up a few lyrics

So you wrote them down immediately, determined to find said song

Because it slapped 

THAT hard

Like she was a banger

Bopping

You were jamming along, when it suddenly stopped

With a shrug, you decide to go along with the rest of your day

The song, beyond any doubt, has stuck in your head since then

Meanwhile over at Daniel’s…

He was working on a song in the studio, but what's new

Absolutely nothing

Nada

N e way

Humming along to the beat he was creating, you could say he was really in his divine state

Slowly but surely, he heard a melody in his noggin

A familiar tune filled his earsIt was a song by lauv, who happened to be his friend

He didn’t really remember the name of the song, but he was definitely familiar with it

“Good choice, soulmate.” he mumbled to himself

“What was that?” Jonah asked, “Did you say something?”

“Yeah,” he replied, “my soulmate is listening to a song right now.” 

“Oh cool, i didn’t know you had that link but it's very fitting for a very musical mans like you.”

“Yeah man.” Daniel says with a small smile, “she has nice flavor.” 

Okay back to you

A week has gone by, and youre on your way to a cafe

Fast, right? Well I'm lazy

We zoomin

Also pretend we aren't in a pandemic and they can actually go outside and go to cafes and interact with people without dying

After hearing the song, you tried looking it up

But to no prevail, you came out empty handed

Maybe the song wasn’t out yet?

Was your soulmate a musician???T

hat would be pretty sweet, if you ask me

Anyway

You know what’s super funny? 

Daniel is also there

Crazy!!! Its totally not like i’m writing this to make it work

You walk up to the cashier 

Humming the tune you originally heard

Because she do be stuck

Get some goo be gone

Because she's sticky

Daniel happens to be right in front of you, but since you happen to have no clue who they are for some reason

you don’t notice theres a lowkey famous person right under your nose

As you’re humming away, attention on the menu in front of you

Daniel NOTICES

He notices something…

Sus

He hears a melody, which sounds new but also very familiar

When suddenly it hits him

Its his song!!!! 

But the one that isn’t out yet

How would they know??? What is this?? What am I???? 

He turns

!!!!!

And he’s faced with you

You, who by now has spaced out, does not notice

Come on man, why 

I guess thats on me tho

He taps your shoulder

“Hey.” he says

“Hi.” you reply, “Can i help you?”

“Yeah, actually. What is that you’re humming?”

You look down at your feet with a sheepish smile. 

“I actually dont know.”

He gives you a weird look, but shrugs.“It’s a good melody, I like it.”

“Same here! I think my soulmate played it, thats the only reason why i know. Do you happen to know the song???”

He grins at you

And breaks out into a laugh

Haha

“Actually, that's my song you’re humming! Its not out yet tho.”

And then you go :000000

“No way! That’s crazy man.”

“Yeah,” he says, “i have no idea how you know it. Maybe your soulmate is like one of my producers or something.” 

“Yeah...crazy.” 

You frown a little to yourself

The man before was pretty good looking

A swell looking fellow if you do say so yourself

You definitely would not mind if HE was your soulmate

he probably isn't tho, he’s way too hot

“I can take who’s next!” the barista at the cashier yells.

“Oop, i guess that’s me.” mystery man says, before turning away.

After that you get your drink and sit down, and realize mystery mans is sitting across the room

Putting your headphones in, you decide to get to work and stop thinking about the boy

Humming along with the song playing, you type away at your assignment or whatever you’re working on

That's up to you, its your work not mine

Daniel, sitting there also happens to think the same thing as you

What if YOU were his soulmate? That would explain why you knew the melody to his song when it wasn't scheduled to come out for another like month

All of a sudden, a song cuts into his thoughts

He looks up at you, and sees that you are also listening to a song

And…

Happen to be humming along to the exact song he hears right now

Wow

Thats crazy

Totally didn’t see it coming

Right??? Sure

Immediately, he jumps up from his chair

I’m pretty sure it like fell and made a loud sound

But he’ll worry about that later

He BOLTS over to you

You, on the other hand, do not realize anything that’s going on because you have airpods in (or whatever headphone you use idk)

A song by your FAVORITE ALL TIME BAND who definitely is NOT why dont we…

Is blasting as you work away

So loud you don’t even realize daniel slide into the seat in front of you

When he gets there, he realizes it’s definitely you

Your music is so loud, he can hear it from where he’s sitting

He taps your laptop, and you pause your music, taking an earbud out

“WHy are you here? Can i help you?” you ask the stranger from before

“Hi, my name is daniel. Daniel seavey, to be exact. I think i’m your soulmate.”

That's it the end cliffhanger

And then kiss kiss fall in love 

Maybe 

[kimjoongs]

—road trip with ateez

hongjoong

driver #1

gets stressed out easily so he relies on seonghwa for moral and emotional support

almost broke the steering wheel a couple times bc of how hard he was gripping it

he’s used the “if you guys don’t stop i will turn this car back around” line one too many times in a span of an hour

when hongjoong isn’t driving, he’s either sleeping or trying to drown out the other members by blasting music from his headphones

had to implement a “10 minute rule” at a rest stop bc last time yeosang took almost 30 minutes trying to decide what snacks to buy

threatened to leave anyone behind if they weren’t back in 10 minutes

wooyoung scoffed and said he was lying

he also cried when hongjoong actually did leave him behind luckily seonghwa convinced him to drive back

absolutely refuses to hand anyone the aux cord, especially mingi

yelled at san when he accidentally kicked hongjoong’s chair, causing him to hit his head on the steering wheel

this man is tired and just wants to get to the hotel asap

“it’s not about the destination it’s about the journey my ass, if i have to spend another minute in this van i will explode”

seonghwa

in charge of navigation and also driver #2

is pretty chill throughout the entire trip, he’s patient with the younger members but will pat hongjoong’s shoulder in solidarity

takes pictures of the scenery a lot

“seonghwa that’s just a pile of dirt”

“it’s pretty shh”

he’s the one who breaks up any arguments that happens during the trip

somehow someway he put mingi and wooyoung in time out for 20 minutes

yunho sits directly behind seonghwa and sometimes yunho will feed him a few chips

he has free reign over the aux bc he’s the only one who hongjoong can trust to not play anything weird

doesn’t nap often, but when he does he’s woken up by hongjoong frantically shaking him

“i hate to wake you up but can you please drive the rest of the way, i need to pass out before i lose my mind”

has trouble fitting his legs under the steering wheel bc this man is long

had to slam on the brakes once bc a deer ran across the road and he screamed

yunho

sits in the middle row with san and mingi aka chaos just waiting to happen

had to hold san back a couple times bc he want to fight mingi

his favorite game to play is i spy

“i spy with my little eye something that is small”

“...hongjoong..?”

“correct!”

“alright listen here you little shit–”

whenever the van stops at a stoplight, yunho always waves at the cars next to them or at the people walking down the street

he gets sad when no one waves back

saw a dog once and he was so excited the van almost tipped over

yunho drinks a lot of water so he always has to go to the bathroom

they were nowhere near a rest stop so he considered peeing in an empty bottle but seonghwa threatened to kick him out of he did

he held it in for the next hour and practically jumped out of the van before hongjoong could even put it in park

yeosang

he’s just straight up vibing

he has his earphones in and snacks to nibble on, he’s living his best life

stole one of san’s pillows and used it as a prop up to watch movies on his phone

he’s pretty quiet during most of the trip, but he gets just as heated when wooyoung pulls him in to play a game with the rest of the 99 liners

didn’t speak to wooyoung for a whole hr bc he lost against san and mingi so they had to buy them snacks at the next rest stop

he sits in between jongho and wooyoung in the back row, so sometimes he’ll grab their hands and just play with their fingers when he’s bored

is torn between jumping out the window or throwing wooyoung out of the van

he gets distracted really easily so he almost didn’t notice hongjoong pulling out of the rest stop until he heard seonghwa yelling at him to get in

falls asleep to the sound of jongho humming next to him

munches on a lot of snacks and is the sole reason why their snack supply is almost depleted by the time they get to the hotel

he was the one who gave yunho the idea to pee in the bottle

originally he was in charge of navigation but it was given to seonghwa bc yeosang accidentally led them to this old abandoned warehouse

san

he brought like 4 pillows and 3 blankets to cuddle with, hongjoong stole at least 1 of each

he’s pretty giddy during the entire trip, the only one who doesn’t take a nap

likes to make a bunch of little noises while snuggling into his pillows

never ever put him next to mingi ever again bc those two are a ticking time bomb

they’re always playing games and flicking the loser on the forehead

one time san flicked mingi so hard his head recoiled and hit the window, the entire van burst into laughter (even hongjoong cracked a tiny smile)

he asked if he could drive but was instantly shot down by all of the members

he wouldn’t stop pouting

when san’s not messing around, he’s either cuddling into mingi or yunho or maneuvering himself so that he was laying on both of them

he’s fed at every member in the car at least once, holding a chip up to their face until they ate it

his little yells or screams scares the shit out of seonghwa and hongjoong that they’ve both almost swerved off the road a few times

got his mouth taped shut bc of it

“i nwefdd to ooj thu wehwoom”

“...what?”

“i nwefdd to oof thu wehwoom”

“you need to use the restroom?”

“jongho how the fuck did you understand him–”

mingi

way way way too hyped

he’s practically squished against the window but is that going to put a damper on his mood? no

would occasionally push himself on top of san just to annoy him

always asks for the aux cord but no one hears him 

when he’s bored he just starts spouting nonsense so yeosang sometimes has to lean forward and cover his mouth

he almost got his mouth taped shut too

likes to wriggle in his seat and it makes the van move from side to side

when he was the first one back to the van at the rest stop, he just kept shifting the car back and forth and seonghwa almost had a heart attack when he saw the van shaking

breaks out into a rap at the most random times

has hit his head on the roof of the van one too many times he’s surprised he didn’t have a concussion

steals snacks from san when he isn’t looking

fogs up the window and doodles little hearts on it

“look it’s a heart!”

“looks like a lump of sh–”

“yeosang!”

wooyoung

ceo of “are we there yet” and “how much longer”

it’s a surprise he hasn’t been thrown out onto the road

screams so loudly when he loses a game

“you cheated!”

“no i didn’t you just suck!”

they were running out of tape at this point

always asking for something even tho he sits in the very back

“seonghwa can you hand me a bag of chips?”

“hongjoong can you turn the ac up it’s hot back here”

“seonghwa can you hand me a bottle of water”

“seonghwa i’m done with this can you hold it?”

gets sulky when yeosang chooses to sleep instead of playing with him

takes pictures of the other members sleeping

drew a mustache on san’s face when he took a nap and would not stop laughing about it for the rest of the trip

complains about his legs cramping up and yeosang kicked him in response

throws chips and gummies at seonghwa’s head for funsies

jongho

completely unbothered

honestly the epitome of well behaved child

hongjoong actually thanked him when they got to their hotel

however he wasn’t allowed the aux cord either because the minute he puts a ballad on, it’s over for all of them

so he just hums quietly to himself the whole time

will occasionally reach over and poke yeosang’s cheek

dude idk what else to say about jongho he’s just chilling

except for that one time he told hongjoong to stop the van only so he could jump out and take dozens of pictures of the sunset

but he looked really cute and excited w his little camera out so no one could really be upset with him

when he takes a nap he either falls asleep against the window or bent over yeosang’s lap

not a fan of sweet things so he’s always snacking on like...takis or beef jerky and downing a bunch of energy drinks everyone is lowkey worried about him

doesn’t have his license yet but was a strong candidate to be driver #2

[theworldsoul]

Okay so basically... lets talk.

I should've seen this coming. I should've known that after such a long period of happiness, something would give.

I went to pick up my glasses from the dinner table today, because that's where I left them. When I put them on... they wouldnt stay on. I checked and they were missing the two plastic parts that hold the glasses up and still on my nose.

I check the table for them, and I dont find them. Then I ask, like hey, did any of yall touch my glasses? Both the plastic things are missing. My dad IMMEDIATELY assumes that I took them off ON PURPOSE. For some reason. And I tell him no, i didnt touch them, all I remember is picking them up from the table and seeing the plastic bits missing.

Then I spend like an hour telling them no, I didnt break my own glasses, I FOUND them that way. And my dad is like mocking me, going "u always say 'I didnt do it!!!' Like you never do anything huh? I guess you're just perfect." And I'm like... BUT I ACTUALY DIDNT DO IT!!!!???!? and hes like "you never take responsibility for anything, blah blah, you're so fucking stupid, you act like a four year old, stop fucking crying, how dare you ask us if we know what happened, why are you trying to blame us, you obviously did it on purpose and now you're acting all surprised.." and I'm just sitting there. Taking it. Thinking to myself... wow. They automatically assumed the worst in me. And THIS SORT OF THING HAPPENS OFTEN!!! I get blamed for shit I didnt do all the fuckign time.

So I'm just. Crying. Because theres a certain amount of verbal abuse i can take and it's not very much. I'm being interrogated. And its distressing, because I cant PROVE that I didnt do it on.purpose, because i GENUINELY DONT REMEBER WHAT HAPPENED!!! so they just get to assume that i broke my own glasses.

Why would my dad jump to that conclusion so quickly? Simple answer: he literally hates me. He holds back, I know, but hes done this before and he'll do it again, hes shown and said what he REALLY THINKS and he'll say it again and do it again and again and again because his mask is slipping. I dont know what I did to make him hate me but he does. That's just how it is. I can't change that. Man, my parents behave like children.

Anwyays so I'm just very upset, in distress, crying really hard, trying not to say too much so I dont make them angrier but also always telling the truth, which is that I DIDN'T DO IT AND I DONT REMEBER ANYTHING HAPPENEING TO THE GLASSES!!

He asks me, who did it then? I say I dont know but it wasnt me. He said who then, if not you. I said I dont know. He didnt believe me!!!

I hate when I tell the truth and people dont believe it. Like... this is the truth. I have nothing more to offer you. Take what little I give, cos it's my fucking blood.

Anyways in the meantime my mom is checking, looking for the plastic bits. She finds them in my coat pocket.

I am proven innocent. At what cost? Well, now I'm shaking, curled up into a ball, crying, and in actual pain. My brain cant handle so much pain so it transfers it to physical pain. So there I am. A fucking kid. Who's been punished for somehting he didn't do. And theres the proof.

My dad fixed the glasses. Left me there on the couch, still trembling. Gave them to me in a case. Said I gotta be careful. I said thank you. Because, even if I'm upset, I gotta make sure other people dont get upset. He said sorry, but he said it in this huffy way that made it sound reluctant. Then he was like, I said sorry so stop crying.

He wanted a kiss on the cheek and I was gonna give him one because I dont want to seem like a dickhead, he DID apologize... and if you dont accept my dads apologies and move on and pretend that the word "sorry" fixes everything, he gets even more angry and i REALLY dont want to deal with him guilt ripping me over it. So I lean in for a little kiss and... I cant. I cant do it. My face crinkles up all ugly and I start crying hysterically every time I get close. I try a few times but I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of like... oh god. I felt so hurt. Like a scared little rabbit. Oh shit, I was fucking scared. I couldnt do it. It made me feel disgusted.

I said, later I'll do it.

I dont know why he thinks he can hurt me so bad and make me cry, then give some shitty apology and expect me to change my mood entirely and go back to being all happy. That's not how it works. If you hurt someone, they stay hurt. Your shitty little word, "sorry", doesnt make me feel any better and doesnt fix any of the damage.... but I have to pretend like it does because if I dont you get mad, and you say I'm mean for not accepting the apology,,,

Later on, he did come for a kiss again. I was in my room, pretending to be busy so he would ignore me but he didnt. This time, I didnt kiss him but I allowed him to kiss me. I just... I couldnt kiss him. I was holding back tears, and i knew if i tried to kiss him i would start crying all over again and make him upset or angry. So I just sorta... let him kiss me on my forehead. Then I went to the bathroom fast as I could, acting like I had to brush my teeth.

I locked the door, sank to my knees, and cried. Hard.

I just wish that I had a dad who loved me, or who knew how to love me... or who I knew loved me, a dad who knew what he was doing, so I didnt have to debate if he loved me or not in my head.

God. I feel so small. Like I literally feel like a little kid right now. Fucking hell. Looks like tonight I'll be indulging in my delusions, playing pretend.

It's sad that my parents fuck me up, but its sadder that afterwards I dont have anyone to comfort me and help heal me.... only myself and whoever I bring to life in my imagination.

Sometimes when I get overly upset, when I'm pushed to the edge like this, I begin to feel... a lot younger? Like shockingly younger. I'm not even the same dude anymore, I'm a fucking five year old all of a sudden. Which makes the situation even more scary and painful.

Just imagine like, a hurt scared little kid with no one to help him. He's tryna pick himself off the ground and hes telling himself "shhhhh... it'll be okay" that's me. That's literally me and it makes me feel so fucking BAD but its true.

I've been breaking down. Earlier in the day I had trouble on a quiz because I didn't know the definition of a word in a poem and I couldnt answer the question (does character A like character B?) And when I asked they said they couldnt tell me which was bullshit but whatever. Uhm so I got upset. Like, scarily upset. I gave up, wrote that i didnt want to do the question on the paper, guessed at half the answers, crumpled it up and threw it to the ground. Then I just... spaced out for the rest of class because I was STILL upset and fuck them.

At one point I left to go cry in the bathroom, but when i went in there, all the stalls were taken and there was a huge group of guys in there, like maybe ten people in there total, so I ran back out and was like fuck now what. Now I wait. I waited and nobody came out. I double checked and they were sitll there and I ran out again. I dashed to another bathroom down the hall hoping it was empty. I was blasting metal in my ears to try and drown out the FEELINGS, I hate feeling things. Got into a stall, slammed the door, started CRYING, sobbing, talking to myself, all of this with metal music blaring out of my headphones. I composed myself. When I went out of the stall I checked my eyeliner and it was... well, you could TELL I cried. I didnt bother with it tho, i just ran out of there.

Ugh and when I got back I kept doing the stim that usually evolves into literally hitting myself, so that was. Bad. At least this time I refrained from beating the shit outta my own left arm.

God.. I hope everyone who hurts me, everyone who ever fucking hurt me, feels GUILTY as all hell. I hope whatever being made me FEEL all these emotions so hard so strong so fast, ROTS. because nobody deserves to feel so intensely upset that they resort to the worst ways of coping. No one.

I'm just glad I didnt relapse. That's a positive.

[sunwritten]

hi guys  😁  i am ur girl mimi  ( she/her, mst, 22 )  and all u have to know about me is that i do nothing but keysmash , cry , listen to redvelvet and arianagrande, talk spanglish since spanish is my first language AND that i love sonic the hedgehog . now let me introduce to u to my boy  😁

̗̀   ✰   ― 〔  cha  eunwoo,  cis  male,  he/him  ）―  ❝  have  you  seen  mason  choi  walking  around  the  town  square  in  the  afternoon  ?  if  you’re  close  enough  you  might  even  be  able  to  hear  in  your  eyes  by  the  weeknd  blasting  through  their  headphones.  they’re  twenty-four  and  are  currently  working  as  a  piano instructor  /  songwriter.  once  you  get  to  know  them,  you’ll  be  able  to  find  out  that  they’re  very  candid  and  reserved,  but  also  can  be  very  lackadaisical  and  blunt.

statistics .

name: mun-hee “mason” choi .

age: 24 .

dob: january 1st , 1996 .

gender + pronouns: cis male , he/him .

zodiac: capricorn sun , libra moon , pisces raising .

orientation: bisexual , biromantic . 

religion: heavily raised under catholic influences . he doesn’t care , though .

hometown: olympia , washington .

residence: novan , south carolina .

occupation: piano instructor, but he can be a tutor for anything if he does some investigation the night prior. singer and songwriter in hopes to make it big one day. streamer and influencer on twitch, youtube and instagram. 

about .

THE JACK OF ALL TRADES: a person who is not content learning about just one thing only , developing a sense to learn something efficiently so they can be good enough at whatever they choose . raised under a strict household , mason craved to learn and experience more than what was taught under the roof of his house and church . spent most of his life reaching out ( sometimes suceeding , sometimes not ) to everything to have some kind of experience under his belt: some of these being both noticed by his parents and some others not ( and for the better ) . a quick learner and adaptable , and when he knows how to approach new skills properly , no mountain is too high for him .

the only child to a priest and a lawyer . mun-hee , eventually introducing himself as mason because he was tired of repeating his name over and over , was brought up in a wealthy and strictly catholic household in olympia , washington . he was forbidden from doing anything out of the ordinary since he could remember ; from dirtying up his sunday clothes to not attending his best friend's birthday party because his parents had the suspicion that substances were going to be involved at the party , and they didn't want him to fall into that hole . if only they knew .

was pushed into the church's choir against his own will when he turned eight , weeks later he was not only praised by his voice , but he fell in love with music . he learned how to play the piano and guitar by himself , and he was later taught by his parent's friends on how to play the violin , the flute , the drums and even the saxophone . he is currently learning how to play the cello and the harp . he specializes on piano , guitar and drums only while the others are one of his multiple , but not so developed , skills .

wrote his very first song when he was eleven ( something that got him the first place at his school's talent show ) , since then he has been writing and creating his own music . he’s currently working on trying to produce something good enough to put out one day . his passion on music caused some tension between him and his parents because , although they didn't disown him or anything , they didn't approve of it---- mostly because they had plans of having him replace his father's position at their church . this caused mason to simply not talk about music with them . it was when he graduated high school when he decided to move out to new york to attend columbia as a mathematics major with a minor on creative writing . after graduation , he moved to novan at the age of 21 because he wanted a new change of scenery .

jason has his own youtube channel , filled with vlogs about literally everything: archives of his past gaming streams on twitch , guitar/piano/bass/song covers that have gone viral on twitter and instagram time to time so he has somewhat of a following fanbase .

tidbits .

despite that i know nothing about mason so im going full force on development with him LKSJKLSJSLKJSLKJS

a himbo . he’s a really nice guy ... kinda dense .. kinda slutty ....... but at the same time he’s v reserved and doesn’t speak until someone is speaking to him bc that’s juss how he was raised U know

he’s not as religious as his parents think he is . he doesn’t... really care but that’s the religion he was raised with so . but that won’t stop him from wearing this sexc necklace with a golden cross bc he thinks he looks hot with it Mwah .

mason has a good relationship with his parents actually !!!! something that is sexc despite of the lil music tension because not only he adores them and they adore him , but he’s lowkey living off their money but at the same time he has gotten a bunch of MONIESSSS because rich people keep giving him money so he can teach their kids to play ( insert musical instrument here ) hehe .

u kno on parasite how the kim family started to do the things the park family wanted or whatever..... kinda like that . sometimes uses his skill of being a quick learner to come up with something quick and make it believable and get the monies KJKLSJSJS

a piano , guitar and drums prodigy . sings like an angel and has the voice of my man’s baekhyun with some lil justin bieber undertones u kno.....  probably v popular at karaoke bars . and he’s a songwriter too and produces and mixes his own music and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

he wants to put out music sometime but for now....... he just makes random covers on his youtube channel , a channel that became popular bc oooooooooooooo cute boy who can sing and play the piano and is funny on his videogame streams . lets subscribe and tip him ten dollars so he can sing a song to me on his next stream <3 !

has gone viral time to time bc of his covers and bc hes really funny on twitter ngl . but if someone recognizes him he gets rather shy LSKJSLKSJKSLJ 

fucks around with alcohol and some drugs but it’s nothing too wild . he has been toying w these habits since high school and he still thanks god that they never found out about this ldjldkjdkldjd 

idk what else to say

he knows how to do card and skateboard tricks but please dont ask him to do wild things on the skateboard please he just can do the basics and doesn’t fancy the idea of getting his nose broken again LKJLSKJSLKSJLKSJ

a whole ass gamer when he’s not scratching his head trying to come up with the perfect sound for a new song . will ignore phone calls and messages until he’s done . he is also one of those bitches who will make u cum and then will get up to continue his game SLKJKLSJSKLJSKLSJ

he has a white cat and a cocker spaniel: phat and kiwi! aka the loves of his life 

a hopeless romantic who has like 289739873 failed relationships . he was a puppy heartbreaker when he was in college ngl

wanted connections.

best friend or someone he’s super close with ever since he moved in

unlikely friendship

partying buddies

PARTNERS IN CRIME

maybe he can be a cornerstone to someone just kno he’s not good with advice LKSJLKSJSLKJSKLSJ

maybe someone he teaches piano??? or maybe he taught them something else IDK

maybe a muse... someone who gives him so much inspo for his music/poems mmmmm this could be multiple because he finds inspo on everyone basically

exes ( good / bad terms ) kinda want three exes so he could say ONE TAUGHT ME LOVE , ONE TAUGHT ME PATIENCE AND ONE TAUGHT ME PAIN !!!!!

one sided crush ( them @ him or him @ them )

MUTUAL CRUSH ???????????????????

someone he spoils just bc ( this should be talked abt i guess )

frenemies

mutual annoyance

maybe someone who joins him on his vlogs u kno..... like when they r together his followers (or theirs if there’s someone out there who was a youtube channel too) are like o shit hell yeah

fwb(s) because he’s a slut  -________-

bad / good influences are also good

one night stands 

idk

fuck

pokemon go buddies 

neighbors? he lives in an apartment complex and his apartment is sexc ngl 

i like to brainstorm tho

please plot with me thanks

[shoheiakagi]

Summary: In which HOMRA is a bunch of college frat boys trying to get in your pants. Or: “Come back, I’m not done wasting your time.”

Warnings: Some might be a bit ooc since they’re all fuckboys in here (some more than others), y/n culture, angst, somewhat explicit ***, unrequited feelings, Chitose in his natural habitat, Fujishima is a furry, Yata still can’t talk to women, and Bandou still can’t get laid.

Word Count: 5.6k lol

Notes: OKAY, IT’S FINALLY HERE. I was working on my FwB piece with @mangoqueens when we were suddenly like, “Okay, but fuckboy!homra tho.” Also, not including the trio in this one cause I wanted to focus on the younger guys more. A quick shoutout to @anewmourning for helping me come up with ideas for fuckboy!fujishima. This is my first ever time doing something like this, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes or stale dialogue. Reblogs/replies are appreciated!

This is pretty self indulgent, so ignore it if it’s not your thing.

Yata

Obnoxious in a completely different way from the average fuckboy (as in he doesn’t break your heart. Well, not intentionally).

That one guy who always shows up to your Philosophy class late with loud rap music blasting from his headphones, with a skateboard under his arm.

But if he’s not coming to class late, he’s skipping. You don’t think you ever saw him come to class on time (seriously, why is he even in this class?).

If he’s not sleeping in class, he’s always arguing with someone, even the Professor. Usually, that random student happens to be you.

“What the fuck do you mean we don’t have free will?” “I mean that there’s something called fucking fate which means everything is destined to be, you asshat!” “The fuck did you call me?”

You happened to be the lucky student he fights with cause of the one time you ‘accidentally’ told him to shut the fuck up (but in a ‘kind’ way cause you can’t just go around cursing during class) and you’ve been on his radar ever since.

But not in that “damn, i wanna fuck her” way, more like “i hate her, i gotta ruin her life” type of way since you pretty much embarrassed him in class.

Doesn’t really hate you or wanna ruin your life though, just likes to start fights with you over petty shit (Bandou would be proud).

Intervenes whenever you’re flirting with another guy in class with the pretext of trying to “save” him from you.

And everyone definitely notices his behavior towards you cause no matter how obnoxious Yata is, he never picked any fights with girls (except for that one busty blonde who’s part of the student govt).

If he’s really feeling bold (and stupid), he would sometimes tug on your hair or jab you with his pen to get a reaction out of you in class.

Pretty much the embodiment of the whole “you know a boy likes you if he teases you a lot.”

Your philosophy class is practically a war zone at this point with how much you two bicker (which really pisses everyone off). 

One day your prof assigns the class a group paper and partners you and Yata up (probably for some sadistic reason). 

You refuse to have anything to do with Yata at first but then he just declares that you can write the whole paper then. So you bitterly suck it up and force him to contribute just out of spite (you know if you write it yourself, your grade will be higher. But you’re honestly willing to take the lower grade if it means Yata will suffer in the process). 

He stands you up whenever you arrange to meet in cafes, the library, etc. You leave him really angry, nasty texts and tell him to go to hell.

You were over it one day and marched up to his dorm room, banging on the door, demanding that he let you in. He opens the door, irritated with you, and you push through and start going OFF on how much of an idiot and a dick he was. 

And as cliche as it is, you guys were too busy yelling at each other to notice how the distance between you two was getting shorter and shorter until you had him backed against the wall. Yata looked at your lips, before looking up to glare at you, “I fucking hate you.” Before you can respond some equally nasty shit, he immediately slammed his lips against you. 

What started off as a kiss, eventually turned into you getting fucked by Yata against the wall (God, you never knew a day like this would ever happen...and that he would actually be a good fuck despite his height and inability to talk to most women).

You both eventually fall into this pattern of sleeping with each other, since it’s an easier way to deal with anger and stress.

But other than sex, nothing changes between you two. You still treat each other like shit.

And in the end, your paper got a C+ so at least you passed.

You didn’t notice that you caught feelings for him until a friend pointed out that you seemed to have softened up on Yata (which you denied, of course).

But once you realized that his smile is probably one of the cutest things you’ve ever seen and how his usually obnoxious laugh suddenly became endearing to you, you noticed a change in his behavior.

He...he doesn’t pick a fight with you that much anymore? That’s a good thing, right?

But...he doesn’t really talk to you that much either, other than some half assed replies. And he stopped coming over for sex too. 

Was fighting (and sex) really the only way you guys communicated with each other?

You try not to think much of it and decide to treat yourself to your favorite drink at the cafe nearby.

And it wasn’t until you were halfway across campus when you hear that familiar voice and your heart started beating like crazy when he came in your view.

But before you can call out to him, you notice the petite figure walking next to him. And then you really take a look at Yata this time.

For the first time ever, you see Yata unlike his usual, loud self. He’s patiently teaching the pretty girl how to use his skateboard, and when she holds onto him in fear of falling, you see how broad his smile gets, despite his awkward stammers and obvious blush. It was only when the girl leans over to kiss his cheek, when you decide to walk away.

It’s just in your fate for your first heartbreak to be like this.

Kamamoto

Ah yes, the king of ghosting™

So here’s the thing, you didn’t think much of him at first. But then you found out that he’s one of them and suddenly, he was just another annoying ass fuckboy to you.

So you were shocked to see him join the home economics club you were part of. 

Didn’t take you long to change your opinion again cause despite his sketchy appearance and friend group, he was such a sweetheart??? He was always making sure all of the club members were appreciated and acknowledged for their efforts, would bring food for everyone, etc.

And you find yourself becoming friends with him, learning about how his parents owned a liquor store back home, how he spent his first couple of years in college undeclared cause he was following Yata around so that they can major in the same field, which obviously didn’t work out (fortunately, he was able to discover his passion for cooking).

It was during a rainy day when he was walking you back to your dorm when he leaned over to kiss you. And it was after a couple of dates, you decided to ride him in your dorm when your roommate was out. 

And all was well till it was the end of the semester and it was time to go home for summer break. Despite promising to keep in touch over the summer, you notice the good morning texts becoming rare until it just stopped showing up. Replies to your texts would be vague or one worded (if it’s one of those lucky days where he finally decides to text back). It doesn’t take that long for you figure out what’s happening.

He’s ghosting you.

aka he’s breaking up with you without even letting you know.

He wants to play that game? Then fine, you’re not the type to beg someone to stay anyway. Out of sight, out of mind.

“Easier said than done,” you mused to yourself as you search for his Instagram later on.

You don’t know what you were expecting to see on his page, but you definitely were not expecting to see this thin, surfer looking guy pop up, donning the same name and username as Kamamoto.

You check his instagram and see his latest selfies and you can’t believe what you’re seeing???? Who is this guy and where is Rikio???

You thought that Kamamoto must have changed his @ until you realized that the names still there and that the other homra guys are following him (with jealous, bitter comments from Yata, Bandou, and Chitose).

He posts a lot of pics with so many pretty girls, his comment section is filled with girls, he’s out partying with so many girls. 

And you can’t help but notice this petite girl named Ayumi, who keeps popping up in his comments (and the fact that he’s always replying to her).

You eventually give up. Maybe this is a sign from God that it wasn’t meant to be.

But when you come back to uni, you noticed that he’s back to his normal shape. How does he lose and gain that much weight in such a quick span of time??? And his hair???? 

Ironically, he suddenly remembers your existence and pretends as if he didn’t ignore you during the summer.

When he waits for you outside of your classroom with a boxed lunch for you two to share, you immediately turn around and walk away.

You loved yourself too much to let yourself be used like that.

Akagi

You know him cause everyone on campus knows him, judging by the large amount of followers he has on social media, and how he’s always seen hanging with all types of people on campus.

The type to constantly post shirtless pics and gym selfies, so that he can show off his abs and biceps (you may or may not have drooled at one or five pics). Posts videos of his crazy nights out, which always include girls and alcohol. Strangely enough though, with the amount of girls he’s seen with, you don’t hear any crazy rumors about him with any of the girls he’s seen with other than a casual hookup here and there.

He also happens to be in your consumer behavior class. And unlike the majority of the class, he’s one of the rare people who takes this class cause he actually majors in marketing. It fits him though, he’s an extremely social person who is good at persuading people, as proven during his presentation of why students should invest in the shitty gym near campus (y’know, the type ex convicts work out at), rather than the one provided by Uni.

It wasn’t until you worked with him in a group assignment that you realized that he’s a lot nicer than he looks. Suddenly, conversations about the group assignment transitioned from sitting next to each other in class to actually hanging outside of class and making plans.

It didn’t take a long time for you to realize that you were whipped for this full time student, part time delinquent with puppy dog eyes and a boyish grin.

Despite your sudden revelation, things were normal between you two. As much as you wanted your feelings to be reciprocated, you knew there was a line between your fantasies and reality. The way he interacted with you was pretty much how he interacted with everyone else and that is something you have come to understand. You guys were just friends, and nothing more.

Well, that’s what you thought until that one party homra threw a party in celebration for Bandou getting a C- in his Cultural Anthropology midterm that he thought he was going to fail (at this point, they were just desperate to throw a party).

Shouhei was a social butterfly with a lot of friends, so you weren’t surprised that he didn’t remain by your side after greeting you and your friends since he was busy rotating between different groups of people throughout the party. 

But what you didn’t expect was him coming over to talk to you about the upcoming marketing exam while you were dancing along with one of your guy friends. But you realize that it’s just an excuse when he puts his hand on your lower back, inviting you to his room so that you guys can talk in private (but you didn’t care).

Next thing you know, you’re laid up on his bed with his face buried between your thighs.

Ever since that night, things have changed between you guys. Suddenly, study sessions in reserved study rooms would end up with you bent over the table while he thrusts into you. And if you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought this was his infamous friend, Chitose you were dealing with. 

But you know it’s Shouhei when you find out that you guys are exclusive (which relieves you when you remember how many pretty girls he’s friends with) and how there are times where you guys would have sweet pillow talks where you both talk about general shit like future aspirations but also some deep shit like family issues.

But things get difficult cause you guys act like you’re in a relationship, even though you aren’t.

You want to be in a relationship with him, but he’s not sure if he wants to settle down yet.

But he also doesn’t want to let you go, preferring to have you as his girl, but w/o officially being his girl.

You deal with this clownery shit for a few more weeks (cause you’re weak) until you finally decided to put an end to w/e you two have going on, and blocking him on social media right before the semester ended.

You eventually link up with another guy from uni over the summer and things go great with him and you guys return to the new semester as a couple.

You forgot all about Shouhei until you come across him with Bandou and Chitose on the hallways while walking with your man.

Shit, you just made eye contact with him, time to pretend you don’t know this guy.

But he calls out your name anyway, and asks you how’ve you been since you’ve been pretty awol.

(Even though Shouhei stopped walking in order to talk to you, Chitose and Bandou continue to walk past you. You don’t know if you should be relieved or worried).

You tell him that you’ve been pretty busy (trying to pretend that you didn’t block him on ig) and introduce him to your boyfriend.

You couldn’t help but notice Shouhei sizing up your man while talking to you. “So you went off and got yourself a boyfriend, huh?” His tone was carefree and nonchalant, but you knew better.

“Well we had some pretty good times together last semester too. Did you tell him about me?” *Cue implications of sexual (and semi romantic) relationship you shared with him to make your bf jealous and to back off*

You grab your bf’s hand and walk away from him before things can get messy.

Pretty much resorts to sending you texts asking if he can see you, and that just cause you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you can’t hang with other guys. Leaves you drunk messages and voicemails, begging you to come back to him, and how he thinks he fell in love with you.

First one to wish you a happy birthday text (even before your own bf) at 12 a.m. despite you not talking to him for months.

You want to save his texts and messages for memories’ sake (and that somewhere deep inside of you, you still have some leftover feelings for him) but you end up deleting it just incase your bf comes across it.

To move on is to grow.

Bandou

That one weird, quiet kid who usually sits in the back of the classroom, all bundled up in a hoodie and a dark pair of sunglasses (yes, even inside the classroom). 

You initially thought he was pretty harmless (despite his suspicious apparel) since he usually minded his own business and worked alone.

But you were wrong. so so wrong.

It happened to be one of those days where the professor randomly announces some assignment in class and everyones already paired up, leaving you no choice but to partner with little miss sunshine at the back.

And that is when you unfortunately get to know him. For someone who doesn’t talk much, he’s hella loud. If he’s not cursing at every error message he receives from entering a code, he’s ranting about the smallest (and dumbest) shit you can possibly think of. But it didn’t really bother you that much until it happened. 

 While working through the assignment, you would feel his gaze on you. But anytime you would look up to meet his gaze, he would quickly turn away with a small smirk on his face. This goes on for a while until you finally hiss at him to stop staring at you. He immediately goes on defense and sneers at you, “Well shit, I didn’t know it was a crime to look at people these days. You should probably seek therapy if people looking at you scares the shit out of you.” 

And you swear you never wanted to smack someone this bad before.

You were hoping that the assignment would be finished asap, so that you wouldn’t have to deal with him any longer. But fortunately for you, the professor decided to extend the deadline for the assignment, so that means more quality time spent with your partner. You frown, while Bandou smirks.

If you thought he was bad in person, he’s even worse in social media (you refuse to give him your number). Always sends you a message, especially after you post a selfie. 

Pretty much the embodiment of texting like a straight white boy.

“Oh so you’re alone in your room now?? What are you wearing now??” *gets no responses back*

As per tradition, sends you an unsolicited dick pic while messaging you about a class assignment.

You see him without his stupid get up for the first time in a party thrown for him by his friends. And wow, he’s actually really fucking cute??? Who knew fucking Bandou would be that good looking? But alas, his annoying personality remains the same. 

He tries to pull a move on you while on the dancefloor, whether it’s to give you a kiss or to have you grind on him. He gets annoyed when you reject him (again) and tells you to leave the party since you’re not giving him any action, with a (cute) pout on his face.

“Y’know, this party was held for ME. It’S MY party so I can tell people to leave whenever I want to-wait you’re actually leaving????”

And maybe it’s because of the realization that Bandou is a lot cuter than you thought, or the fact that you have grown used to his company (and advances), you’re on your knees in an empty bathroom stall, giving him the best blowjob he’s possibly ever had. 

Which you ended up regretting since the next day you were met with whistles and smug smirks when you walked passed some of the guys of homra, immediately knowing why when your eyes zeroed in on a smug Bandou, who threw you a kissy face.

You were planning to ignore them and go on with your day, since this type of behavior is expected from them, but once Bandou made that infuriating kissy face with his infuriating ass face, you went straight up to them and smacked him right across his face, leaving the others stunned. 

You looked at them with a raised eyebrow, silently challenging them. Chitose stepped up, about to say something, but Kamamoto grabbed him back.

Once you were sure none of them did anything, you walked right past them. Your face was heated up. A part of you was shocked that you actually smacked Bandou, that too in front of his friends. Another part of you was super embarrassed that you ended up giving that fuckboy a blowjob, which gave him the opportunity to brag about it to his fuckass friends. You don’t even know why you’re so angry, you knew this was something to be expected. Maybe it’s cause you actually found Bandou cute that night, or maybe it’s cause you lowkey ended up having a soft spot for him. Cause as annoying as he was, there was something endearing about him, especially with the way how he would nag about you being a bitch to him, but then immediately helping you with a coding problem that you didn’t understand without you even asking.

But that doesn’t matter now, since what’s done and done. Bandou Saburouta is just as much as an asshole as his friends, and you don’t want anything to do with that. 

Chitose

Before you had class with Chitose Yo, you knew exactly three things about him: 1. He’s pretty much the ringleader of all the fuckboys (it makes sense since he’s a finance major), 2. He briefly considered majoring in the liberal arts field just because it had more girls (you heard this one from one of your friends who hooked up with him last semester), and 3. He hooked up with the young T.A. of the required psychology class he had to take. Needless to say, that did not end pretty.

Being a part of the campus’ social scene, you’ve always heard about Chitose Yo and his womanizing ways. He was that one guy who was always surrounded by girls in parties, eventually leaving soon with his (victim) date. 

But you’ve never actually interacted with him until your Business Policy class. You weren’t surprised when he comes to class late, giving the professor a sheepish grin and grabbing the empty seat next to you. 

He didn’t notice your presence until the professor called out your name during attendance. You knew you were a goner once he turned to look at you, slowly checking you out with an infuriating (albeit, sexy) smirk on his face.

It took you approximately two classes to be charmed by him, and a party to sleep with him.

You guys become fuck buddies, and you become accustomed to the “you up?” texts he sends around 3 a.m. (obviously turns out to be full blown sexting between you two).

As much as you hate to admit it, you eventually catch feelings for him. Not only is he the best dick you ever had, he is a genuinely funny and charming person. 

Unfortunately for you though, Chitose is strict on his “stay away from relationships” rule. You know that if he ever finds out about your change in feelings, he will lose interest and cut all contact with you (and you honestly don’t think you’ll be able to take that), so you bottle it up and pretend not to care when you hear of him sleeping with someone else (this asshole even asked you to join him and this other girl for a threesome), or when he always chooses party and alcohol over you.

In the bright side (well, as bright as it can be), he’s at least honest with where you guys stand and doesn’t string you along. But you know that’s just bare minimum at this point.

You thought you were able to endure it all. But then that happened.

You guys were having sex when your roommate went out. And for once, he was actually being super romantic and soft with you. For a moment, you couldn’t help but think that maybe he’s finally coming around. But that all changes once called out a name that definitely was not yours.

Oh. Oh.

Needless to say, it got awkward real quick and you guys didn’t finish.

He admits to you that he called out his ex girlfriend’s name...His ex girlfriend from high school... Someone who he never got over, and how their breakup affected him a lot more than you thought.

“I’m sorry to hear that, but I think you should leave.” You don’t think you can do this anymore. Fortunately, Chitose does not fight back and immediately leaves.

This guy needs a therapist, but that’s not your job.

Dewa

So heres how it goes: you know Dewa through Chitose (who you were so close to having sex with but the party you guys were hooking up in was crashed by the R.A. (it was one of those small, congested parties held in a dorm)). And you know that he’s not your biggest fan since he thinks you share one brain cell with Chitose and all of his other girlie friends (doesn’t help that you once threw up in his favorite hat during a party)

That’s fine with you cause you don’t like guys who act like there’s a stick up their ass anyway.

Dewa is a different type from his friends. Where his friends were loud, obnoxious, and brass, Dewa has a superior complex in which he thinks he’s better than everyone else (honestly with that attitude, he might as well be part of the student govt. rather than a frat house). To this day, no one knows how him and Chitose are best friends. 

But you can’t deny that underneath his glasses and that ridiculous derpy hat, he’s hot. A different kind of hot from Chitose, but hot (and that you really wouldn’t mind riding him, but that’s a conversation for another day).

He’s one of the few students who actually knows what the fuck is going on in your accounting class, so you couldn’t help but swallow your pride and ask him to tutor you (unless you wanted to retake this class for the third time).

So you both agree to meet up in the campus’ library during the weekend when its more quiet than usual and there’s not that much people around, and you’re not sure how you feel about that (but it’s only an hour long tutoring session. You will be able to tolerate him for that long, right?).

So far, the tutoring session has been pretty surprisingly quiet, aside from a couple of snarky remarks from Dewa, which you chose to ignore (considering your temper and mouth, that is a feat and honestly, you deserve to treat yourself once the session ends). 

You were just about to think that maybe getting tutored by Dewa wasn’t so bad until you felt a warm hand slide up your thigh (you just had to wear shorts too, dammit).

You looked up at him in shock, only to see that he’s not even paying attention to you. Instead, his gaze was locked on your exam paper, and if it wasn’t for the hand on your thigh, you wouldn’t think he was interested in you. “Wow, you’re stupid. You seriously don’t know the difference between a balance sheet and an income statement? That’s some basic elementary shit right there,” he remarks in a bland tone.  

“Shut the fuck up, I already told you that I don’t fucking get this shit,” you snap back at him. But as you two were arguing, his hand keeps sliding higher and higher till you eventually reach over and stop his hand. 

Only then does he look up from the paper to glance at you. “I can leave if you’re not interested.”

You take a good look at him, wondering what he’s playing at. You decide to play along, eventually loosening up and letting his hand continue its journey. 

Throughout the session, he “rewards” you with a kiss on different parts of your body (from innocent places like the inside of your wrist to more dangerous places like your inner thigh), every time you get an answer right. It didn’t take that long for you both to end the session quick, immediately rushing over to his dorm. 

(And boy, did he look cute moaning underneath you while you rode the fuck out of him).

Maybe it was stupid of you to think otherwise, but you made the mistake of asking him about the next tutoring session, and how you guys can grab lunch right after.

The look he gave you made you feel like utter shit. “You don’t really think I’d go on a date with a girl like you, right? I thought I made it obvious that I have higher standards than Chitose.” 

Despite the angry tears threatening to drop (dammit, you promised yourself that you would never cry over a boy), you immediately slapped Dewa before quickly dressing up and getting the fuck out of his dorm. 

He’s not a fuckboy like his friends, but you’re beginning to think that he’s a lot worse.

Fuck him (and this time, not literally).

Eric 

Probably the more intimidating one out of his group since you don’t think you can ever recall him with a genuine smile on his face (and no, those sinister smirks don’t count). But that didn’t matter to a lot of girls, including you.

Despite his quiet and standoffish demeanor, Eric is noticed for his Eurocentric features, accent, and witty remarks. 

In your eyes, he fit the look of a European prince who has come to take you far, far away from everyone else and live happily ever after (yes, you’re in college, not in middle school).

You genuinely had a crush on him when you first saw him, but never had the guts to talk to him, let alone confess, since you’ve seen him coldly reject other girls (as much as you hate to admit it, you’re not good at dealing with rejection).

But you’re pretty sure you got over him since you now share an English literature class with him (you’re not sure why he’s even in this class if all he does is sleep) and actually got to know him. Somewhat.

Whenever you would participate in class discussions, whether it would be to discuss the current book you’re reading or to speak in english, you would always hear a smartass remark or question from him, which usually ends up with you looking dumb in front of the whole class. 

It especially doesn’t help that he stares you down while he calls you out on any mispronunciations you make. And you don’t think you’ve ever felt as self conscious as you do in this class because of him.

You do hate him for it but you don’t really stand up for yourself against him (he’s too intimidating and you like to pick your own battles). 

And to be fair, he’s probably just being an asshole. He doesn’t really know who you are (or care).

That’s what you thought until you go to the party thrown by his friends one night. 

And maybe it’s because of the alcohol in your system, but you immediately snap at him when he mocks your broken English accent.

So used to you not speaking back to him, Eric couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow before letting out a chuckle. “So she speaks!” he says in a sarcastic tone. But before you can reply, he immediately leans over and kisses you.

You won’t deny and claim that you never thought about kissing Eric, you’ve had way too many daydreams with him. But this kiss was nothing like the kiss you imagined in your daydreams. 

For someone who appears quiet and somewhat soft-spoken, Eric kisses rough, and it’s nowhere near romantic as you wanted it to be. His hands grip on to your shoulders tightly, before sliding over to your hips to pull you closer. You pull back from the kiss, in favor of placing kisses on his neck and collarbone.

(You didn’t imagine getting with Eric like this, but you weren’t going to let go of this opportunity, either).

He eventually pulled you into a nearby room, making sure to kick out the half naked couple that was on the bed. It wasn’t too long before he pounded into you while you were on your hands and knees.

Once it’s over, you were left staring at the ceiling while he puts his clothes back on. Without a word, he leaves the bedroom. 

So much for a prince charming, huh?

Fujishima

The Soft Boy™ 

Double majors in animal biology and zoology to become a vet for fuck’s sake.

You start talking to him cause he’s probably the softest and sweetest boy you’ve ever met, despite his appearance. 

But boy were you wrong (x2).

He listens to you attentively, offering kind words and good (generic) advice, assuring you that he’s nothing like those other boys (he’s lying, look at his friend group).

Tells you that unlike those other guys who want to fuck and dump you, he wants to get to know you and make love to you.

And everything is all fine and dandy until holy shit, you realize that this sweetheart you’ve been talking to, has a dark secret.

He’s a furry. 

A. Goddamn. Furry.

Legit has a fursona in the form of an Ethiopian wolf (hint: cause its red). But he also likes dabbling into mythology so sometimes he would take the form of a lycan.

You indulge his fantasies for a while, thinking that yeah it’s weird but at least he doesn’t have a foot fetish (but it is worse than a foot fetish) and how no one’s perfect.

You wear animal costumes to sex. At first, it starts out with pretty normal costumes like a playboy bunny. Then it starts to get weird and oddly specific with wolf costumes, roleplay scenarios as animals during mating session...

Once you were finally close to getting into a commitment with him, he starts acting funny.

When you let him know that you’re not super comfortable with your eccentric foreplay, he gets offended and starts sprouting bullshit about you being just like the other girls, which is so disappointing cause he thought you would be different and actually understand his rather…unconventional needs.

Needless to say, you ended up blocking him. You needed to preserve your sanity, after all. 

[anunvalidcritic]

SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER VERSE

                                                MOVIE REVIEW

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

June 27th, 2019 the year of our Lord (whichever one that may be) I watch a spectacular movie that I can truly say that the awards won were well deserved. Spider-Man was the first superhero I can truly say I looked up too and he’s super duper awesome my dudes. I plan on rewatching the movie again so I can complete this post.

Man, this post is gonna be extremely long but it’s totally worth it!

I FUCKING LOOOVVVEEE THIS INTRO MAAAAAAANNNNN!!

“With great powers come great responsibility” - UNCLE BEN

AHHHHH THEY DID THE SPIDER-MAN 3 DANCE DEAD

YOU’RE MY SUNFLOWER!!!!!!!

The love that his parents give is amazing.

I’m glad to see an ethnic spiderman its dope that he speaks Spanish and English.

I understand that Spider-man is a vigilante

“With accountability comes great accountability“ - JEFFERSON DAVIS

He didn’t have to do MILES like that lol

DEAD THAT CLASS WAS QUIET AF

AYYYEEE THE CITY IS BUMPIN’ TONIGHT!!!!!

LOL MILES needs to get his face off that window.

Ayyee black people really do that stuff with that chill talkin’ being all smooth and shiiii ROFL

OOFFF

AHHH SHIT IT’S GOING DOWN WITH THE GRAFFITI AND THE SPIDER

SPIDER BITE

LMFAO BOOP!

Damn his roommate just loves to study.

That is a lot of sweat tho

“I’M A MAN.“ - MILES

Haircut looks cool though if you ask me.

“EVERYONE KNOWS!” - MILES

“WOAH SHE’S TALL” - MILES

PETER droppin’ bops huh??

OOOO THAT LANDING WAS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was some freaky shit when that spider glitched though. It kinda turned into a thriller movie for a minute.

DAAAMMMNNN a normal person would be dead

“Stanton Island maybe but not Brooklyn!” - PETER

You better catch him!!!

he better not say you only get one of th…….. AAAHHHHH HE SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!

PROWLER got a lot of balls flyin’ up on him like that.

WILSON FISK IS TOOOO FUCKIN’ BIG!!!!!!!

Dang, these glitches remind me of when Vanellelope has hers. (I think her name is spelled wrong but it’s whatever at this point.)

You know whenever people make promises they sometimes are hard to keep.

WTF HE’S BLONDE!!!!!!!! WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST KILLED… AHHHHHHH

ROFL “Yeah I think it’s a BANKSY.” - BYSTANDER

RIO is the sweetest mom ever.

PETER should not have gone out that way! MAAAAANNNNNN

STAN LEE R.I.P

Boy, you better not jump off that building that black in you bette… LOL, HE TOOK HIS ASS RIGHT BACK DOWN!

damn, he messed up the hard-drive.

Aww, I love that ominous blue and red lighting… good symbolism.

PETER B. PARKER

Spider-Man for the last 22 years

blah blah blah workin’ hard and fallin’ in love

15 years past

buried Aunt May

Split up with MJ

Seahorses mate for life 

“Could you image a seahorse seeing another seahorse… and then making it work.” - PETER B PARKER

pizza is life

YEAH, THAT BLONDE SHIT THREW ME FOR A LOOP TOO!

“Adios” - MILES

DAAAMMMNN he didn’t have to do PETER B like that!

“Looks like a child dressed like spider-man dragging a homeless corpse behind a train.” - POLICE OFFICER

Aye, I fuck with the song that was being played through that guy’s headphones even though I don’t even know what it was. 

“Why is your body another shape” - MILES damn that’s fucked up 

GOOODDDDDAMMMMN THAT GLITCH FUCKED HIM UP!

These fucking sweatpants man

“DON’T PLAY WITH ME.“ - MILES (black people love that line lol)

“You good with that Spider-Man?!“ - MILES

“In my universe, this place closed 6 years ago. I don’t know why.” - PETER B PARKER (Probably because the restaurant has a C rating)

Was lowkey waiting for a roach to crawl across something 

I LOVE THIS SONG!

“Spider-Man doesn’t wear a cape.” - MILES (He doesn’t wear sweatpants either)

How tf did WILSON FISK get his BIG ASS INTO THAT CAR?!?!?!

lol his booty jiggled a bit hehehehehe

hold up this chick sound like Jessie from Toy Story…

WOAH either she a freak or she likes pushing people

“And I for one can’t wait to watch.” - DR. OC (WTF DID SHE JUST SAY!!)

LOL, HE HIT ‘EM WITH THE ‘HEY’.

Aww, they’re having a bonding moment! 

GWEN STAC(E)Y UP IN THIS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last 2 years

Joined a band

Saved her dad

Couldn’t save her PETER PARKER

Doesn’t do friends to save herself feeling.

Oh, we’re getting a little WILSON FISK flashback.

Damn, why is she driving so fast…

Something like that was bound to happen I’m sorry to say. 

This dude really got some board shoulders.

SPIDER PEOPLE

Why does PETER B PARKER have on two different types of shoes?

BRUH AUNT MAY CAME FOR HIM!

DAAAANNNGG AUNT MAY THUGGIN’ HUH!?!?!?!?!

TRIGGERED

DEAD AUNT MAY has “HELLO MY NAME IS …” cards

“Wherever I go, the wind follows.” - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

BRUH JOHN MAOULNEY

SPIDER-MAN NOIR

Year: 1933 

Job: Private Eye

Likes: Drinking egg creams and fighting Nazis (A LOT)

“Sometimes I let matches burn down to my fingertips just to feel something anything.”

PENI PARKER SPIDER

Year: 3145

Has a psychic link with a spider that lives inside of her father’s robot.

Lost her father

BEST BUDS FOR LIFE

SPIDER-HAM

PETER PORKER

Bitten by a radioactive pig 

Photographer for the Daily Beagle

Usually, when he’s not working like a dog he chasing a story

Likes to frolic and dance while doing it in his pants. 

SAD FACE EMOJI

if stitch had a glitch lol

PETER B PARKER really puttin’ MILES on blast. 

STOP FUCKING CROWDING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie is back on their spooky ooky shit

Damn only if he knew his uncle was the PROWLER...

LOL, THAT MUSIC!!!!!!!!!

RUN BOY RUN THIS WORLD ISN’T MEAN FOR YOU!

BRUH PENI’S FACE!!!

“This is a pretty hardcore origin story.“ - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

“We don’t pick the ballroom we just dance.” - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

OOOFFF WHEN AUNT MAY SAYS TAKE IT OUTSIDE SHE MEANS IT!

Of course, MILES dad is on the way

OH, SHIT SHOW HIM YOUR FUCKING FACE!!!

OH, FUCK!!!!!!

How the fuck you gonna be flying around without some type of bulletproof vest. DAMN SMH

Man, a kid should not be seeing someone die right in front of them. 

JEFFERSON didn’t deserve to find his brother that way. 

I’m glad they’re having a heart to heart to him. But that room is too small

“MILES the hardest part about this job is that you can’t save everyone“ - SPIDER-HAM

“Do animals talk in this dimension because I don’t want to freak him out.“ - SPIDER-HAM

Let the bodies hit the floor. 

“A leap of faith” - PETER B PARKER

At least his dad came by to speak to him.

He had that boy fucked up again!

AUNT MAY A THUG BRO!!!!

THIS SONG IS GETTIN’ ME HYPED UP AND I’M NOT EVEN IN THE FUCKING MOVIE!

Man them taking the bus is really killin’ me

Bruh the waiter

ROFL

BATTLE ROYALE BABY!!!!

YEAH MILES

“Do you have a problem with cartoons?!?!” - SPIDER-HAM

PENI I’m sorry to say but your BUD FOR LIFE is gone.

MILES is a smooth criminal!!

WILSON FISK BIG MAD!!

I find it so cool that each time they jumped back into the portal it was reflected off of them.

ROFL “That’s all folks” “Is he allowed to say that legally?”

WILSON FISK always tryin’ to hurt somebody damn!

NOBODY TOOK YOUR FUCKING FAMILY BITCH THAT WAS YOU! IF YOU TRULY KNEW YOUR WIFE YOU WOULD’VE KNOWN THAT SHE DIDNT GET JIGGY WITH THAT SHIT PERIOD!

THE SHOULDER TOUCH

MILES did that (with help of course)

C-Mobile = T-Moblie hehehehehehe

BRUH HE DID WILSON FISK DIRTY!!!

MILES MORALES

SPIDER-MAN for 2 days

Finally, finished his essay

Saved a lot of people

Spent time with his father

Got hit by a drone as well

Had a proper meeting with his roommate

Slapped his sticker where his dad won’t find it

Will always remember his friends. 

“Anyone can wear the mask. You can wear the mask. If you didn’t know that before I hope you know that now.“ SPIDER-MAN (MILES)

_________________________________

Y’ALL THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM! Everything and I mean EVERYTHING! So thankful I was able to salvage a little bit of it back. I really do wish I was able to get what I said at the end because I meant it. :( 

_________________________________

EDIT: I was fast forwarding through the movie to get it off of my “continue watching” list and I discovered something at the end! So I’ll be making a bit of an edit. (This is a reminder that you need to ALWAYS STAY AT THE END OF EVERY MARVEL! (smh I made a rookie mistake))

James Blake has such an amazing voice

MEANWHILE IN NUEVA YORK

“I was gone for less than 2 hours.” - MAN

THE BEST LESS 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE!

oooo the man’s name is MIGUEL 

Earth ‘67

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH THE MEME THE MEME!!!!!!!!!!

“How dare you point at me!” - SPIDER-MAN

[san--shine]

Good Morning Coffee

A/n: This is a story I wrote with @jonghostation for @shikyus because she got accepted in her first choice university. I’m so proud of her, I started this idea a few weeks ago. But without Adelle it still wouldn’t be done and probable only half as good as it is now ~

Warnings: none really, maybe some slight angst?, hate to love, 3196 words

Short summary: College starts. But what happens, if you have to share an apartment with someone, you have never meet before, but who seems to hate you for some reason?

- It’s one week before college starts

- You are sitting in the assembly hall to listen to some professors greeting the new students

- After some very boring speeches everyone goes to the front to get their keys if they stay at the college dorms and good luck wishes

- Of course this gets messy, so you stand around in the back, waiting for most of the students to go their own way

- While waiting you meet sees 2 cute guys

- They introduce each other as Seonghwa and Yeosang. You thought they were cute and since they were holding hands you came to the conclusion in your mind tho, that they are probably dating. You make a mental note to ask them some other time

- A few minutes later another boy joins you.

- He seems annoyed but friendly enough as he introduces himself as Hongjoong

- Upon hearing your name his eyes get cold, almost empty

- You take a step back, asking yourself if you said anything wrong

- Before you can overthink tho Seonghwa pulls you into a conversation about what you are studying and why you decide on it

- Soon enough you two switch numbers and you decide to open a chat room together with Yeosang who Seonghwa says will be glad to join before just adding him since he went to the front already to get his keys.

- Hongjoong was nowhere to be seen and you were kinda relieved of it

- You part ways as Yeosang comes back with two keys hanging on his fingers and giving one to Seonghwa while giving him a kiss on his cheek before blushing

- After you get your keys you walk around the campus, searching for your room which didn’t take you too long since you informed yourself in beforehand

- You only look at the number of the doors so when you finally arrive in front of your room you literally ran into someone who came from the other side of the hallway

- It was Hongjoong

- You both roll your eyes as you insert your keys, telling him he shouldn't worry and that he probably got the wrong key

- What you couldn’t see was his glare at you, some kind of knowledge in them

- As you step in the room you spot a greeting card and some fruits on the table

- It’s signed to the both of you, apologizing for the inconvenience of you two having to share a room with the reason of “to many students”, “not enough rooms”

- You both look around the room until your eyes land on one big problem

- There is only ONE BED

- No way

- As if they could see feel your frustration building up you get a message in the "we are cuties" groupchat you have with Seonghwa and Yeosang, asking you if you want to go out and explore the campus

- "I will go out.", is the only thing you say before turning around and leaving the apartment

- He just rolls his eyes and sticks out his tongue out after you

- You actually have a nice evening out with the boys and rant to them about your roommate - - They tell you that they don't know why their friend acts that way towards you, but they promise if they get any information about the topic they will let you know

- Also they tell you, that you could sleep in their room if needed

- When you came home to your new Apartment Hongjoong is sitting on the bed with his laptop, a row of pillows in the middle of the bed, dividing it perfectly in two

- You sigh defeated 

- He looks up, half surprised, half annoyed, pulling one eyebrow up in question, what you don’t see since you were searching for your bath stuff to get ready for bed

- You and Hongjoong deathstare at each other when you lie down on the other half, putting earphones in and turning your volume up

~~~

- Next day you wake up to the smell of coffee along with complete silence

- Coming into the kitchen, you see 2 cups on the table. One empty one full with milk and sugar next to it

- You almost let out a sound of awe at the thoughtful gesture but resisted against it, as you decided to try and thank him later

- Since the apartment is empty you decide to unpack in peace, listening to music, dancing and singing along

- Time seemed to fly fast, because before you knew it, the morning had passed and the clock had struck into early evening hours. Unbeknownst to you, Hongjoong arrived home, only to witness the glorious sight of you dancing like an idiot around the apartment. 

- It was an absolute miracle that you didn’t even notice his presence at all, which to be honest, Hongjoong was grateful for. 

- Why? Because then he wouldn’t have time to realise that he had been staring at you dancing with, dare I say, affection? 

- When you finally turn around to his direction he quickly looked away, barely saving face as he made an excuse to take some iced Americano in the fridge.

- Even though you caught him awkwardly looking away, you knit your brows together, confused about his attitude 

- Hongjoong suddenly spoke, “I’m going out again. Unless you’re dying, don’t bother contacting me.” 

- He didn’t even give you a chance to reply as he dashed out the door. 

- You pouted, “Wasn’t going to, but okay dude.” You said to no one but yourself as you shrugged and continued dancing until your knees gave in.

- As you put away the final box, you looked at the clock. It was getting late, but there were yet to be signs of Hongjoong coming back to the apartment. 

- At first, you thought that you couldn’t care less of where he is, but you somehow felt this pit in your stomach when you think about what he could be doing at that moment. 

- To clear your conscience (and maybe do something nice for once) you made some tea and put it at his bedside table before going to sleep, carefully putting all available pillows in the middle of the bed again

- When Hongjoong finally came home, he was greeted with your soft snores. 

- “Typical” He scoffed, taking off his jacket and prepared himself to go to sleep as well. 

- Going to his side of the bed, he tilted his head. A mug full of tea, albeit cold, stood on the side table like it was smiling kindly towards the boy. 

- Hongjoong stole a glance at your peacefully sleeping figure. Did you do this? 

- All of a sudden, he felt a pang in his chest. 

- He furrowed his eyebrows together from the abrupt pain. Wait, why am I feeling this? Shit.

- Panicking from such a rush of guilt, he spontaneously took the mug and chugged the entirety of it within seconds. 

- After he coughed a couple of times, he tucked himself in, stealing one last look of you before serenely looking up at the ceiling.

- Conflicted with overwhelming emotion, he wrapped his hands around his head.

- Adamant about his “hatred” for you, he decided to fix the room without even telling you.

- And after many failed attempts, he managed to find a music studio which rented unused studios out to students, and it couldn’t have been a more perfect escape.

~~~

- The next day you wake up to the smell of coffee again, this time with a note next to it

- "don't wait up, have a nice day"

- you decided to go out and message Seonghwa and Yeosang if they want to join you

- They decline since they were unpacking but asked if you would want to come over instead

- You arrive at their little apartment, which was actually bigger than yours and had two bedrooms, even though they were only using one

- They didn’t let you help so you sit on Seonghwas bed and try to talk to him about Hongjoong

- But he just shrugged and said that he doesn’t know what was going on inside his head

- Yeosang said though, that it still sounds just like their friend, since even in highschool he was always busy and sleeping only a few hours at ungodly times of the day

- When you came home from your day at the lovebirds apartment, you are surprised to hear loud music before you even open the door

- There he was, blasting some seemingly random beats over his speakers, sitting on the floor surrounded by sheets of paper

- You look at him in awe and before you could stop yourself you say: “I didn’t know you work on music”

- Your voice startles him, he lets out a loud huff and stars to gather his stuff

- ”yeah I do. Until you came along.”

- Hongjoong tries to walk past you and out the door when you snap:

- “What is your problem with me? You know normal roommates can usually communicate! If you need some space I get that, I can be quiet and just do my stuff over there and put headphones in. HOW ABOUT JUST SPEAKING TO ME FOR ONCE?!”

- He just looks at you with big eyes, mouth slightly agape

- ”You know what? forget it.”

- With that you take your bag which hangs by the door. “I will be in the library for the rest of the day.”

- The apartment loomed in darkness when you arrived there, which is weird because you see Hongjoong’s shoes in the hallway. 

- Hongjoong sits on the bed, headphones in his laptop, seemingly working

- But as soon a you put your bag down he looks up and you mentally prepare for some harsh words as reaction to your own ones earlier

- “I’m sorry.”

- “pardon?”

- “I’m not used to living with someone. I usually like to be on my own and requested that at the college. So I was pissed when I found out that I will have a roommate when they gave me my key. So I asked for a name to find them and talk to them. It wasn’t your fault. I should have talked to you.”

- You just nod

- After this you just talked everything out, sitting on the bed.  

- "So..is that it? Are we cool?" 

- You hummed, "No"

- "What?!"

- "Not until we set down some ground rules."

- Hongjoong retorted," I thought we did that when we first moved in."

- You gave him a deadpan look, "Bordering the two sides of the bed with a wall of pillows is not setting down ground rules, Hongjoong."

- “It kinda is, thou-” You gave him another look that made him backtrack, “ Ah, okay, I see your point.” 

- Seeing him hurrying to agree with you after you intimidated him amused you, because you didn’t even mean it that much. A smile tugged on your lips as you suggested a few starter rules. 

- Before long, the both of you agreed on a comprehensive set of regulations written on a piece of paper, albeit stained with coffee and in Hongjoong’s questionable writing, to which he claimed is due to your impatient dictation.

- “You try writing stuff when the person dictating it to you doesn’t want to spare 2 seconds in slowing down.” 

- ”Dude, we’re in college. That’s practically our lives.” 

- ”Shut up.” 

- “Then keep writing!”

- When you look at the final result, you smiled, “ This should do it. I especially like this extra detail you put in the corners.”

- “ I am an artiste, ladybug, let my creativity fly.”

- You sniggered, “God, the moment we’re not at each other’s throats, you turn even more annoying, how is that even possible?” 

- “And you’re still sweet as ever, aren’t you?”

- The both of you chuckled as you subtly changed the subject.

- You tell him how cool you think it is that he does music as a hobby, but that you don’t like him to overwork himself after he told you how his friends found him passed out on his laptop once. 

- When you grow tired you two build the pillows in the middle of the bed together. Just to be sure you know

~~~

- After that you kind of become friends, he still gets annoyed if you are home too much while hes working and you sometimes snap at him when you realize he hasn’t eaten anything in 30 hours but it’s nice

- It feels kinda special

- One day when you come home early because the lecture was boring and you couldn’t be bothered to just sit there and act like you care what your professor was talking about you catch Hongjoong having a phone call

- He seems a bit frustrated with something, saying stuff like “No, I don’t want it.” “No, it’s fine.”

- So you go and start preparing some tea, what you know by now calms his nerves a bit

- When he finishes the call he flinches when he sees you standing there, luckily with your back turned to him

- You don’t hear him talking anymore so you felt free to ask: “What was the call about?”

- “Nothing.”, he answers too quickly, watching your back intensely 

- “Okay then.”, you knew better than to start discussing with him. He would come to you if he wants to talk about it. 

- “I made you some tea.”

- You turn around and you swear you could see something like softness in his eyes before he casts them down at the cup of tea that you reach out to him

- What you didn’t know was that the call Hongjoong got was from the College telling him that he could have his own apartment now

- But he declined

- Because you are good for his health and he knows he would feel lonely now alone in a big apartment. Even though he would never admit that out loud.

~~~

- It’s a Sunday when you wake up because you feel too warm

- You try to stretch to wake up fully, but there are arms holding you close and your legs are entangled

- You let out a small screech and try to get up, which wakes up Hongjoong who falls out of the bed with a small yelp as he lets you go

- “I’m sorry!” “Sorry..”, you both apologize in an instant

- The breakfast afterwards was awkward to say the least, since no one wants to talk about the way they woke up

- Saying you need some fresh air you go out, leaving him alone in the apartment, overthinking on his own

- He tries to put what he feels into a song, it’s the only way he feels confident enough to speak about himself

- You try to reach Seonghwa and Yeosang to talk to them, but your texts don’t seem to get through and when you try to call only the voicemail answers

- Luckily it’s good weather so you search for a nice place to sit down and just think

- Some hours went by and you seem to have fallen asleep

- Because the next thing you know is opening your eyes to Seonghwas worried face while he softly shakes your shoulders

- Apparently Yeosang and he had been searching everywhere for you after they looked at their phones and then you were the one who they didn’t seem to be able to reach

- While Seonghwa sits next to you and text his lover that he found you, you try to summarize what happened the last days especially this morning

- Seonghwa listens patiently and asks you if you want to spend the night at their place since they have an unused bed

- So it happens to be the first night you decide to sleep at the, how you sweetly call it, lovebirds place, giving hongjoong a quick heads up over text

- Hongjoong doesn’t like the knot he feels settling in his stomach, but he accepts

- What else should he do anyway

- He uses the extra time to perfect the lyrics to his song 

~~~

- It takes him several days in and out of the studio to finish the song

- In that time you two don’t see each other often

- Most of the time one leaves while the other comes back to the apartment

- It starts to get on your nerves

- And you start to worry a bit because Hongjoong seems to sleep at the studio, at least you fall asleep alone and wake up alone

- Even though you don’t want to admit it, you miss him

- A lot

~~~

- One day you come home from studying, you hear a soft melody playing in the apartment when you open the door

- you come in slowly, not wanting to scare Hongjoong out of the apartment

- Because actually you want to talk to him about what happened a few days ago 

- And maybe tell him that you kinda miss him?! 

- When you step into the room there is food on the table, he even found an old candle somewhere and lit up in the middle of it

- “Joong?”, you call him questioning, his nickname rolling off your tongue like butter

- You hear him hum from the kitchen. “Sit down, I'll be right there.”

- So you do just that, waiting.

- The air feels kinda thick, filled with anticipation, and curiosity about what is happening right now

- With nothing else to calm yourself down, you took it upon yourself to focus on the song that had been playing.

- It was as soft as when the melody started, the lyrics just as enchanting and beautiful.

- However, after a while, you stopped yourself to further analyse; The lyrics, it tells a story. A story all too familiar. 

- And that was when you knew. This song, this ethereal piece, is about you.

- Blood rushed towards your cheeks as the realisation hits you. 

- Joong stands in the door, watching you and your reactions closely

- “Now that you know how I feel about you, lets eat.”

- You wish you could knock that smirk out of his face but you are speechless, overwhelmed by emotions

- You eat quietly, only glancing at him every now and then, same goes for him.

- “Joongie?” 

- “Hmm?”, he raises one of his eyebrows

- “I missed you.”

~~~

- A few days later you wake up to a kiss on your cheek

- “what the fuck was that?”

[sippin-on-red-wine]

No. 6 Collaborations Project: A review!

It’s been a week since this fabulous album has dropped into our hands. Click “Keep reading to hear my thoughts on each track!

Track 1. Beautiful People Khalid ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You look stunning dear/So don’t ask that question here

Thoughts/Reflection: Ed keeps referring to this song as ‘cozy’ and I completely agree. The vibe is cool. I love the tone of his voice here and I think it meshes really nicely with Khalid’s. The content isn’t super relatable, but I think we can all take something away from this one. It’s a good note on self-awareness and being able to see the reality in things that may look glamorous on the surface. 

-

Track 2. South of the Border feat. Camila Cabello, Cardi B ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So join me in this bed that I’m in/Push up on me and sweat darlin’/So I’m gonna put my time in/Won’t stop until the angels sing

Thoughts/Reflection: This track is literally freaking scorching hot fire. TBH I’m surprised that they led the album with IDC and not this one. It feels like big radio potential to me. Regardless, this song is an absolute BOP - so catchy and so fucking sexy. 

I know Ed’s Spanish leaves something to be desired ☺ But I feel like we can cut him some slack after singing (yet another) song dedicated to going down on a woman. The ginger is forgiven! Five stars for him! And I’m going to have SOTB on repeat all summer (or for the rest of my life).

Oh, I also really like Cardi on this song. IDK if she’s problematic or w/e, I don’t really follow her in the media at all. But her verse is fun. (I think Ed got a lil jungle fever AY) bahahahah

-

Track 3. Cross Me feat. Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit/Keep a lil blade in her fuckin’ lip gloss kit 

Thoughts/Reflection: Love love love LOVE this one. It just makes you want to get up and DANCE the damn thing! I have to laugh a little at the thought of Ed being hard & tough, lol, but it’s a cool concept nonetheless. Like he said in his Charlemagne interview, it’s kind of a love song…. but a different tempo. It’s catchy as all hell and Chance’s verse is fucking cool. 

Full points. 

-

Track 4. Take Me Back to London feat. Stormzy ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Coz you can win BRITS (it don’t stop)/And you can do Glasto (headline slot)

Thoughts/Reflection: Fuck. This song, though. IIt’s the first one that jumped out at me when I did my first full album listen. And I haven’t stopped listening since. The chorus is so syncopated. Stormzy is sick on this track, I love his voice so much. And it just feels like the two of them really play off each other nicely and probably had a blast making this song. 

Also, Ed flexing “Grossed half a billi on the Divide tour/No I’m not kidding what would I lie for” is BDE and I’m personally really here for it.

This song is a banger and you should dance in your kitchen to it while baking pastries. FIve stars for you, Big Mike and Teddy.

(Dear God please let Stormzy guest live in Ipswich)

-

Track 5. Best Part of Me feat. YEBBA ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: it’s not a lyric but that part when Ed & YEBBA are harmonizing perfectly in the whoooaaAAaaaA 

Thoughts/Reflection: I love the sound on this song! His voice is so raw and tender here. It reminds me of Plus era, but grown up. I think it may be how delicately he approaches the syllables in his verse and the chorus. YEBBA’s tone is super rich and lovely, and they sound great together.

I’m taking a “star” off here because I don’t love the lyrics. I get that he’s being vulnerable and showing insecurities in verse 1, but then YEBBA follows that up with lamenting about misplacing things and being late for the train? It doesn’t seem to match up with admitting physical/bodily insecurities. Also, it could just be that I hate that Ed thinks of himself this way.

DUDE IS HOT AF

-

Track 6. I Don’t Care feat. Justin Bieber ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: I don’t like nobody but you/I hate everyone here

Thoughts/Reflection: Oh god. When did this song come out? I’m trying to think back to my first impressions of it, LOL. It’s bright and poppy and of course it went and stayed #1 all summer (thus far). I remember thinking it was so cool that the melody is super mainstream and upbeat, but the underlying theme is around social anxiety. “Crippled with anxiety/But I’m told I’m where I’m sposed to be” 

I mostly skip this one now that the full album is out, but I think I listened to it for a full 48 hours on repeat when it first dropped. Bieber is problematic and shit, and honestly I don’t think he adds much to the song. I really like Ed’s acoustic version where he does the whole thing solo.

The bridge slaps. Literally. I love that clapping bit behind it. I wish that Ed hadn’t fucked up the lyrics to the bridge in the acoustic version lolololol

Four stars, will bop along for many moons to come

-

Track 7. Antisocial feat. Travis Scott ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So antisocial but I don’t care/Don’t give a damn I’m gonna smoke here/Got a bottle in my hand bring more tho

Thoughts/Reflection: DID YOU SEE HIM GUEST AT TRAVIS’ SHOW LAST NIGHT? This song was already one of my faves but holy shit. In interviews, Ed talks a lot about feeling awkward on stage without a guitar - but it didn’t look like that last night. He was bouncy as all hell, sounded great, looked great. Looked like he was loving the crowd’s energy too.

And the music video? That deserves a post all on it’s own.

This track is pretty short but it’s packed with good stuff. Ed’s intro is really strong here, the chorus is interesting despite the repetition. I physically can’t help but groove along to this tune. I’m sorry. I have no say in the matter

-

Track 8. Remember the Name feat. Eminem, 50 Cent ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: 20 years old is when I came in the game/And now it's eight years on and you remember the name/And if you thought I was good, well, then I'm better today

Thoughts/Reflection: YES. YES. YES.  The song intros with a reference to Ipswich, bitch. I love how Ed makes those connections back to his upbringing.

It’s a little unreal that these three iconic voices/styles can flow so well on a song and still sound so balanced. 

I’ve got this one on repeat too. I’m determined to learn all of the words damnit!!

Five stars for a tune that I would love to see performed live someday.

-

Track 9. Feels feat. Young Thug, J Hus ★★★

Favorite Lyric: See you wigglin’, jigglin/If I have a bite will it taste like cinnamon?

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is fine. I like the feature verses. The song just doesn’t stick out that much for me.

-

Track 10. Put It All on Me feat. Ella Mai ★★★

Favorite Lyric: I try to be strong but I got demons/So can I lean on you?/I need a strong heart and a soft touch

Thoughts/Reflection: Falsetto. Falsetto everywhere. I love that! Ella Mai’s voice is so rich. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot more to say on this one. It’s not a song I’m playing on repeat, but I don’t skip it either.

-

Track 11. Nothing On You feat. Paulo Londra, Dave ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You and I/Whisky on ice/Maybe later we can turn down all the lights

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is SEXY and cool…. ‘smoke clouds and the scent of perfume’.... the imagery. Man. More falsetto here. Also, please go look up the translation of Paulo Londra’s verse. Thanks. I’m sweating. Is it hot in here? This album is *sexual* 

ALSO THE ‘BRRRP’ AFTER “they keep ringing my phone”  bahahahahah 

-

Track 12. I Don’t Want Your Money feat. H.E.R. ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I need you here for the good times and the bad times/Yeah the pullin’ out my hair gettin’ mad times/Not just the when I’m in your bed on my back times

Thoughts/Reflection: THIS IS SUCH A GODDAMN TUUUUNEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love this song so much. 10/10 jamming out to this in the car at every opportunity. Finger snappin’ cool r&b vibe. I love the super quick tempo (but not quite rap?) in Ed’s verses. And I always appreciate the little double-meaning-references in Ed’s songs - like ‘diamonds, silver or gold’ means $$$ of course, but also just success in terms of album sales performance.

TBH when I saw the title on Ed’s tracklist reveal, I totally thought this would be a slow mushy love song about how Ed’s lucky to have found someone who wasn’t into him for his money. This was a pleasant surprise!! I love that it’s a little angsty.

Five STARS bitch I love this song and y’all are sleeping on it

-

Track 13. 1000 Nights feat. Meek Mill, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Birds eye view/Pay my dues/For a two-mile queue

Thoughts/Reflection: i been ON for a thousAND NIGHTSSSSS NEW YORK TO LONDONNN DIFFERENT CITY EVERY DAYAYYY

1000 Nights: a flexy bop and I love it

This song is about the Divide tour which has been going for approximately 572 years. Not that I’m complaining.

But it’s cool (how many times have I said ‘cool’ in this post? don’t answer that). Ed loves touring and that comes out in this song. And Meek’s verse is so fun to rap along to!

Four stars.

-

Track 14. Way To Break My Heart feat. Skrillex ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I can’t stop thinkin’ bout her/And her lips on mine, so soft/Feelings I don’t know the name of

Thoughts/Reflection: biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

This song is NOSTALGIC and I simply adore it. It has that same… “cozy” feel that Beautiful People does. Which is strange, considering it’s a song about heartbreak. But it’s just so. Soft. And warm. 

We’re back to super soft placement of words and such pure tone. 

It’s hauntingly beautiful. And yet uptempo! Bless, Skrillex. I especially love the drums that come in during the chorus, after “you’re still gone, and i’ll say”

PS, the soft sound of mouth smacking at :13. Use headphones.

Some of my favorite Ed songs are ones about heartbreak, and I appreciate that he included one here. About an imaginary heartbreak 👀

Take another five stars from me, bud

- Track 15. BLOW feat. Chris Stapleton, Bruno Mars ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Hot damn/Pop it like a pistol mama/You got me down on my knees/Baby please?

Thoughts/Reflection: *laughing nervously*

Again, definitely not what I expected out of this track when the titles were all revealed. I LOVED release day on this one. The world collectively lost their shit. I need nothing more in this world than to see this song performed live, especially with a full band and Ed on an electric guitar. 

I’m still not over this loud, full, energetic song full of men bellowing about wanting to, well, fuck.

Bye

(five stars from me and also my 62 year old coworker Jan)

:::OVERALL:::

This album is SO GOOD MATE and I already cannot wait until the next collabs project! Ed blessed us with 15 amazing tracks to tide us over until Subtract comes out. They’re so different from his normal album stuff and I really love to see him try new sounds and get to create/collaborate with artists he admires so much.

it also has me real hot and bothered lmao

Thanks for coming to my tEd talk.

[adhdsleepdeprivedstudent]

ADHD Wait What Episode 6(? i rlly don’t know oops ?) : hacks i learned

ok so literally since i was little up until i was diagnosed w ADHD my family and teachers all believed i was hypersensitive to everything but didn’t know why.

like certain kinds of sounds can literally leave me in tears, long durations of loud chatter such as a grocery store, specifically, was always an issue. not loud sounds themselves, i blast music to drown out the chatter, it’s the hundreds of sounds happening that all take my attention at once and drive me crazy.

certain textures of clothing and food even. i cannot stress how much i not even just hated but loathed wearing anything w sequins (which drive my mom crazy) bc if i felt it against my skin i would get super irritated. even w food i was such a picky eater and it wasn’t even always about taste but if something feels weird i can’t eat it or i feel like gagging.

smells. oh thank the lord. of all the senses, my smell is the weakest. like i literally cannot smell hardly anything. people can be gagging and choking and it sitting there like “what do you mean it smells like dog took a poop i can’t smell shit” (😂puns man, puns defeat the huns).

sight! people with light colored eyes have more sensitive eyes in general (hi it me) and because ya girl lives in a desert all there is is v v v brightsun (and i read in the dark a lot even tho mom said no woopsies she still doesn’t know) anyways certain kinds of lights, too many lights or lights too close together strain my eyes super badly! it got to the point that my school had to make an acception to allow me to wear my prescription sunglasses indoors bc the lights gave me super intense migraines and my docs weren’t happy about it.

sight, sound, smell, touch i’m missing something i’m missing something i’m missing something i will continue to type this until i remember sight sound touch smell sight sound touch smell cmon i

TASTE ok Taste. so the only thing i’ve notices is like i said texture really but also anything that’s sour, i love sour things don’t get me wrong but sour candies in particular idk what it is about them but like something about them makes me want to cry and puke em up and it’s not cute sight so that’s all five

kudos for reading this far.

NOW FOR THE ACTUAL HACKS SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG OK

taste: if you’ve pin pointed something that you eat or a kind of food that irks you or whatever, just avoid it if you remember super easy. if you remember. if not and you eat it. drink. the. water. get. the. taste. out. of. your. mouth. period.

sight: if it’s bright lights like me, sun-freaking-glasses!!!!!!! i cannot drive w put them. well i can but it’s a pain and i get a migraine and i’m v quickly reminded to put them on!!! on that note, keep several pairs anywhere you might need them. otherwise you’ll never see them again. keep one in your car, two maybe! one in ur purse, or backpack or both!! keep one by your keys if you have a designated key spot (i don’t but my grandma picks em up from the oddest places i swear). literally just go to ross or something and buy multiple pairs of cheap yet decent sunglasses. if you’re like me and wear regular glasses, buy multiple pairs again!!!! keep them everywhere!!! i always lose mine, always. if it weren’t for my ocd grandma whom i love so dearly i would literally never see ever. if your also like me and have a strange prescription like one eye is nearsighted and the other is farsighted, pop a lense and swap it out w the right one for that eye!!!!! it might be annoying but it works, or if your even more like me and one eye is basically fine but the other is absolutely horrid, buy walmart glasses w the prescription for the bad eye and just pop out the other lense. it looks silly but honestly who cares.

textures! yeeeeeeeee!! for a long time i had no control over this but if you do, just don’t buy the thing w the texture and if you impulse buy it, return it! take someone w you to make sure it actually happens! if you don’t have control explain to the person w the control that that texture irks you and agitated you and if they still don’t care just like...loose it? idk it worked for me until they just stopped buying the thing w the texture that makes me cringe.

smells. i know for me even tho i cannot smell v well, one smell that never fails to stop me in my track is the flowery scents! it absolutely must be v subtle. if i walk past a perfume/candle/scenty kinda store, i literally hold my breath as i pass. if it’s an every day smell for you, put on a candle you do like, or a nice room spray or even those icky dryer sheets (those are a texture that makes me squeal w discomfort i cannot even begin)

and most importantly for me, SOUND. OH HOLY MOTHER OF SNOWBALL DANCING BALLOONS I AM so overly sensitive to sound. i’ve noticed i cannot listen to a majority of rap bc they talk too fast for my mind to keep up and it hurts my head trying so i just avoid it. stores. make. me. so. stressed. i never ever ever ever go anywhere w out a pair of headphones. the chatter of a few is easy, maybe ten or so is bearable but more than that i start getting all ich and whatnot, stimulation overload occurs and all i want is to curl up and die in peace. instead! we turn on music we enjoy! and! blast! tf! out of it! if it’s loud noises! slightly lower, blast a more peaceful song. at school they also have to make accommodations and allow me to listen to my music so that the chatter of kids doesn’t make me literally cry. if there’s a lot going on sound wise i absolutely cannot concentrate ever. i will burst into tears from frustration and overstimulation and people don’t participate enjoy seeing a 17 year old balling their eyes out in a spin by chair saying it’s too loud, freaks em out

PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER HACKS OR TIPS LEAVE EM HERE FOR OTHERS WHO CAN TEY THEM OUT

[werewylf]

combining these because one of y’all absolute mad lads wanted me to do the whole thing,, these are from the unusual asks (found here) now on to the questions !!!

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

~ tbh yeah,, like I wanna be the person I am on the inside,, I want my outsides to mirror my insides and just let everyone know who I am no hiding or making excuses any more,, I want people to look at me and be inspired to be themselves,, to love themselves,, and to just love me (if that’s the kind of relationship that specific person has with me)

2: What is your full name?

~ Nikita “Magnus” Nickerson (Magnus is a placeholder middle name for now,, I like it but also I think I might wanna change it to something else I dunno yet)

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?

~ I’m 19 currently and I get mistaken for either 16 or 21/22 with no in between

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?

~ finally I can answer yes to a question like this !!! it was semi-perm but omg I dyed it teal and my mom’s gonna let me do a mystery color sometime soon (it’s a surprise what color :3)

5: What’s your eye color?

~ deep brown,, like deeeeeppppp brown omg ppl used to make fun of me because I had “black,, demon eyes” and I was really good at staring contests when I was younger

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it?

~ honestly it varies sometimes I’m super indifferent to the body I have and other times I’m super insecure and want to get rid of my body,, but I am doing better about it and I’m glad my body gets me from place to place

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

~ I don’t currently have any tattoos (but watch tf out when I have money I have So many planned lol) and I’ve had my earlobes pierced since I was 6 months old and I’m planning to get some more piercings

8: What would you say is your best quality?

~ my ability to be there for ppl when they really need it,, like I drop stuff so quick when ppl indicate they need me

9: What are you really bad at?

~ math,, expressing my feelings,, talking about my feelings,, letting myself feel my feelings,, taking time for myself BEFORE I break down,, working myself into a breakdown,, asking for help

10: What talent do you wish you had?

~ honestly I wish I had the talent to actually know when to stop blaming myself

11: Are you nice to everyone?

~ nope,, but I try to be as polite as possible,, and I’ve gotten better about being nicer to people

12: What do you think about the most?

~ I mainly think about missed opportunities and how to let my friends know I care about them deeply and love them without weirding them out

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself?

~ hoo boy I’m gonna limit this to 3 things each otherwise we’d be here all day; likes: ability to listen,, creative,, intuitive; dislikes: bottling up emotions,, stubborn,, low self-esteem

14: What is your least favorite word?

~ moist

15: What is your favorite word?

~ petrichor

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?

~ tbh,, I’m a fairly even mix,, but a lot of times I don’t act like either one of them

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?

~ honestly,, I do that weird lil half smile that ppl get when another person is looking at them to do something lol

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone?

~ to stay out of trouble

19: Are you lying about anything right now?

~ the only thing I’m lying about is my emotional state when ppl ask how I’m doing

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?

~ romantically? nah,, but platonically? definitely

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?

~ not really,, not for me at least

22: Do you believe in soulmates?

~ of a sort,, like there are just some people that you vibe with in a very special way and it’s not always romantic either

23: Are looks important?

~ to me,, looks aren’t the most important thing,, I feel like personality goes beyond looks and can even enhance how your brain sees people

24: Opinion on relationship age differences?

~ after a certain amount of years I don’t particularly agree with them,, like if you have a 20+ year age gap I don’t really get it,, like if the ppl get together when one is like 20 and the other is like 40,, there’s such a gap in the understanding the 2 (or more) ppl will have,, but also it’s not my life and not really my business what grown adults do

25: Would you date someone off the internet?

~ I’d be willing to try but tbh it’s hard enough trying to date someone you met in person

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?

~ yes,, many times

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

~ yeah,, I had a crush on one of my friends while they were in a relationship and I felt so Bad,, like I didn’t want to ruin their relationship or lose their friendship so I just kept my mouth shut lol

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?

~ not really,, I’ve either given up on them a while ago or I still have a small shred of hope

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

~ not really ??? (unless they just didn’t tell me lmao)

30: Have you ever like your best friend?

~ actually yeah I have skskdddkdk

31: How does someone win your heart?

~ honestly,, I get crushes ridiculously easy if you’re nice to me for a while and show affection in an exuberant way,, and that typically deepens until one day I’m sitting there looking at that person when they’re telling me something they are So excited over and they have stars in their eyes and my face goes soft and I look at them like they hung the sun,, moon,, and stars just for me and it hits me like a freight train that I might just love this person and it doesn’t have to be romantically or sexually,, I just feel for people I’m close to very deeply and it might be pathetically easy to win my heart but goddamnit I’m soft and love a lot ❤❤

32: What turns you on?

~ a lot of different things actually,, like sometimes if the person I like is physically bigger than me and they need me to stand or sit a certain way and they position me just the way they need,, that’s umm,, Hot af,, although I act mad at the manhandling lol,, and oh god if they’re Big and they pin me with an intense stare and like loom over me (maybe with me against the wall aksksk 😍),, also my neck is like Very sensitive like to the point that if you lightly blow against it I full body shudder,, y’all don’t know how distracting it is when your crush is hugging you and telling you something important but you can’t listen because every word is a puff of air against your neck so you just close your eyes and hope to god your subconscious is actually retaining the info (oh god I just had a Thought,, if someone pinned me to the wall by my throat and then kissed me breathless while pressing close enough my gasping brushes our chests together and then kissed my neck with either tenderness or ferocity I’d probably fucking self combust on the spot),, to go along with that I Love Love Love neck kisses so much (y’all probably know too much about that by now lol),, y’all I’m just really into mouths,, lips,, teeth,, tongues are all just very top teir,, oh fuck,, flexing muscles get to me so much,, like cross your arms in front of me and I won’t look at your eyes because mine will be glued to those fucking arms,, god fuck thigh riding is the dream here 😍😍,, okay I’m gonna stop myself here but it’s easy to turn me on sometimes and hard other times (that greyasexual life)

33: What turns you off?

~ okay let me honest here,, as much as I like tongues and all they can do ;),, I don’t really enjoy french kissing (maybe that’s my last ex’s fault,, his kisses were just so Wet) like I much prefer those open-mouthed kisses with minimal tongue,, and people who are rude and assholes for no reason are like huge turn-offs no matter how attractive they are,, also I hate those people who like desperately want to be doms but they just become like overbearing,, lowkey abusive,, and highly annoying,, tbh most of this list is gonna be shit my ex did because it was all so Unsexy in hindsight

34: Do you get jealous easily?

~ imo not really,, like I might be jealous after a while if the person like after telling me that we would be spending time together alone and they didn’t really follow through like bringing another person along and focusing on them the whole time or focusing on a stranger overly much but I don’t really like feeling jealous because I don’t like forcing myself on people if it seems they are happier doing what they’re doing and I can’t control people only myself so I typically try and redirect any jealous thoughts,, if its like a constant thing tho I’d definitely talk to that person

35: What is your definition of cheating?

~ well for starters,, I don’t consider hugging other people or spending time with them cheating,, I guess I would define cheating for me personally is if the person knowingly hides a deep emotional/physical relationship with another person,, like say I was dating a person and then I found out they were spilling their fears and dreams with another person and telling me nothing or barely anything I’d be a little upset,, but also you can’t expect your s/o to talk to you and only you,, everybody needs and deserves a support system,, or if I found out they were having sex or taking another person out on dates without my knowledge,, like if they just talked to me and explained everything before they started anything they might find I’m open to accommodating them

36: Do you forgive betrayal?

~ for me,, this varies from person to person,, but there comes a point no matter the person that I will drop their ass (that’s what I get for having 7 earth signs with 5 of them being Taurus in my birth chart)

37: Have you ever been cheated on?

~ yes

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?

~ to my knowledge,, no,, but everyone has different definitions of cheating,, but I abhor cheating so like god I hope not

39: How often do you listen to music?

~ every fucking day,, mainly all day every day no joke,, I spent my entire senior year of hs with at least one headphone in blasting music to keep myself calm (I’m baby from baby driver essentially),, music is everything to me truly

40: First concert you attended?

~ the first concert I ever attended was a Goody Grace concert (y’all check my boy out I love him) it was lovely and it really woke something up in me in regards to frantically trying to plan visits to concerts now lol

41: Last movie you watched?

~ honestly,, I’m pretty sure I’ve watched at least one movie after this one,, but the last movie I remember watching is Aquaman a few weeks ago

42: Favorite type of movie?

~ Action/Adventure or Sci-Fi

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

~ I went through a period of self-harm for 9 years and I still struggle with craving those feelings a lot and when I relapse I feel like shit,, I’m better about talking about it through like texts or whatever it’s really hard for me to talk about it out loud,, I get really fucking choked up and kinda teary sometimes

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

~ for the most part,, yeah,, I’ve bottled up my feelings and problems for so long I’ve gotten quite good at not showing everything I’m feeling,, but lately,, I’ve been trying to go against that and show what I’m feeling when around people that care for me

45: Do you fall in love easily?

~ love? I don’t know about that but I get infatuated really easily,, I have a hard time identifying love and how it feels to me so I don’t realize I love someone until it smacks me in the face

46: Do you think people say “I love you” too much?

~ fuck no,, say I love you to the people you love damnit !!! I say I love you to my friends AND my family,, like omg sometimes I have to just shut up because I’m bursting with love for people,, and if I’m drunk I say I love you like every five seconds ❤😍😘

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

~ very basic of me,, but Halloween/All Hallow’s Eve,, it’s really one of the only widely celebrated holidays I like

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?

~ this depends on what the person is asking for forgiveness for,, but there comes a point where nothing they say or do could possibly get me to forgive them,, like sometimes you just have cut ppl off

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?

~ (disney land/world ??? I’m jk lol) on god,, it’s sitting with someone you vibe with and sharing bits and pieces of your souls between each other (and if that devolves into being wrapped up in each other until the stars come out then that’s magical babey 😍)

50: What’s your “type”?

~ nice,, funny,, passionate,, ??? it’s surprisingly hard to put into words,, rest assured I intimately know I do have a type,, it’s just very broad lol

Okay,, that’s the 50 questions !!! thank you darlin’ much for asking me to do this lol,, sorry it took me a while,, love you ❤❤ !!!

[stray-teen]

Taking Time Pt. 1

Genre : Fluffy Fluff Fluff FLOOFFF-

Pairing : Bang Chan x Reader (Female) Ft. Stray Kids & JYP Artists

A/N : This is super long I’m so sorry. I would have written this in like paragraphs BUT I like using bullet point so WHAT YOU GONN’ DO ‘BOUT IT HUH- Anyways enjoy and feel free to skip the front few points since it’s basically how you get scouted blah blah blah- 

I also think I kind of strayed from what I was supposed to write so there might be a part 2 with more content related to what I was supposed to write-

So like you’re a new trainee at JYPE

You were scouted in a cafe because the staff thought you looked like you had talent and all

Okay, imagine it, when they scouted you it was basically like this

You were sitting there, headphones on minding your own business while scrolling through social media and someone just shoves a business card between you and your phone

You look at the person and can only see that their mouth is moving but obviously you can’t hear since your music is blasting like damn 

And well, you take the card anyways without question

And you only realize that it was a JYPE business card when they leave

TBH you wonder why they even scouted you when you didn’t even listen to the staff speak

BUT YAY HOORAY YOU WERE SCOUTED

Okay actually you weren’t that ecstatic about it because you know being a trainee is really difficult

And even though you knew, you still went for the audition 

Actually you went to decline the offer but let’s just say they somehow convinced you 

I mean the restaurant and cafe were good bribes okay

But look, you aren’t perfect, you could barely do anything, you could sing and rap (sort of)

Did I mention you could only speak some languages other than Korean 

Like you knew basic Korean but you’re not Korean BUT YOU LOOKED KOREAN SO THE STAFF THAT SCOUTED YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE KOREAN AND SINCE YOU DIDN’T SPEAK THEY DIDN’T KNOW UNTIL THE ACTUAL AUDITION-

But okay you didn’t mind since you had just graduated and had nothing to do with life so trainee it is

You were a fast learner but a slow perfector(???) 

You made slow progress basically

OKAY THIS IS WHERE YOUR SENIORS COME IN

You would see some of your seniors time to time since they were all busy 

You never really talked to them

You talked to Jimin a lot tho

And DAY6 members, they were all the ones that helped you with your Korean and producing

While Jimin and the other trainees helped with almost EVERYTHING-

So yeah you’ve met Twice, GOT7, DAY6 and all but you never really see Stray Kids members around since they are always busy because they just debuted

You kinda use random rooms to practice and make music and all

So one day you were in one of the producing rooms

You know

Producing duh

And you hear the door open behind you 

So of course you whip your head around but the person who opened the door was fast enough to escape before you could see them 

Ngl all you saw was a black figure???

They were probably wearing black so you didn’t really question much

You did get up from your seat to go check if they were possibly still outside

But they weren’t

This continued for like a couple of months

Maybe 2-5 times a month

And the both of you did the same thing every time

And then it stopped and you weren’t exactly happy that it stopped because you still wanted to know who it was

So about a year has passed since the last time they came by and you switched to a new producing room too 

You were producing again as usual when you realize that you left something behind at THAT producing room so you go back to look for it

When you opened the door you quickly shut it and hide outside

SURPRISE SOMEONE IS INSIDE

Now you’re confused like should you go in or leave

Suddenly the door opens and you look to see the person that was inside was the one and only leader of Stray Kids veryunnecessaryintroductionIknow

So now you know who the person that always came and left was and he also now knew

He’d never seen you before though so you know him but he doesn’t know you

“Hi?”

“Oh- Uh- Good evening, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that the room was taken-” You were stumbling over your words because your Korean was still shit

“You’re a trainee?” You nod duh but it’s not really surprising that he’d ask since you weren’t one of those really popular and talented trainees

You were just a trainee in the shadows going at your own pace, it’s less stressful this way

“Oh- Did you want to use the room? I’m almost done for tonight so you can use it if you want!!!” 

“W-wait hold on- I was just here to get something I left behind when moving rooms...” This time you spoke in English because OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN’T KOREAN WELL-

And he’s shooketh because you didn’t seem like you’d speak English

“Sorry, my Korean still needs polishing...”

He tells you it’s fine and you go in and get your stuff and leave

So now you both know about each other

But oops he never asked for your name 

So he asked around within his group about you but no one knows you duh they are like a flock of birds, always flying together-

But when he asked Jimin he finally got answers and t e a s i n g yeet

But he doesn’t really react to the teasing ‘cause he’s just curious about who you areee

Finds out your name, how long you’ve been here, what you usually do and where you usually do what you do 

SKZ is busy and so are you with training so you two don’t see each other for a long time again

You’re in the dance practice room again one day, sitting in the corner, tired from practicing and all

And you hear a bunch of people walking by

Yeah, that’s where you’re wrong

They weren’t walking by

THEY WERE COMING TO THE ROOM YOU WERE IN

You only knew that they were coming to this room when the door opened

They didn’t see you since you were not in the open lmao

“The lights are on, is someone in here?” 

“ Nah, I don’t see anyo-”

When they finally see you sitting in the corner

They’re so shooketh like have these kids never seen another human before

You immediately stand up and greet them, this time remembering to introduce yourself properly

When you were introducing yourself, you do notice that Chan isn’t there

“Hey, what are you guys doing?” You hear a familiar voice coming from outside

“Hyung, there’s someone using the room already.” One of the guys say

Chan makes his way to the front and sees you

“Oh.” Is all he says when he sees you again

“We’ll change rooms then-” Chan says

“Um... I’m done with practice so...” You start packing your stuff up

“Do you know her, hyung?” They start throwing questions at Chan since it seems to them that he knows you

“I’ll uh, get going now. Sorry for being in the way of your training.” You bow 

“Actually, we’re not really here to practice, we’re kind of here to chill.” Chan says 

“And you’re telling me this why?” You asked, super confused

“Do you wanna stick around?” 

You look at the group of guys behind him and then back at him before smiling 

“Thanks but I promised to meet up with Jimin.”

With that, you leave and he gets teased by the members again uwu

He’s kinda sad that you had to leave again 

Like

He just wants to sit and talk with you

And tbh he can just look for you since he knows where you could be but he’s shy 

So the members help him out even though he didn’t ask for the help

The first one to help out was actually Jeongin

He saw you at the restaurant and decided to talk to you

You don’t usually talk to people other than Jimin and DAY6 members but Jeongin is such a cute kid how can you not

Then occasionally you’d get vocal lessons with Woojin and Seungmin, not sure why but if your manager says that, you gotta do that

You’re not complaining though, they’re fun to practice with

Dance practices and choreographing with Minho, Hyunjin and Felix is fun too

And then there’s rap lessons and writing lyrics with Changbin and Han

It seemed so weird to you

Because they are busy and yet they’re training you?????

You have actual trainers though so why?????

So you get pretty close to the members since you keep having schedules(???) with them???

One of the days you kinda just wanted to stay in the producing room and produce so you go back to the one where you met Chan

Trying to escape from dance practice with dance line oomf

You go to the room

And Chan is in there

He doesn’t notice you come in since he had headphones on and was focused on the screen

You didn’t want to leave though

So you go ahead and tap on his shoulder and he turns around to see you

“Y/N?” He takes off the headphones

“Can I stay here for a bit? Hyunjin, Minho and Felix are hunting me down for another dance practice...”

“You’re practicing with them???”

“Yeah... not sure why though. I’ve been with the rest of SKZ a lot lately. It kinda tires me out sometimes. They’re all so... energetic.”

“They are, yeah, sorry ‘bout that.”

“No no no. It’s fine!!! Lightens up the mood. But I don’t have that much energy to keep up.”

So you grab a chair and sit down beside Chan

Initially you were just watching him produce

But then he starts talking to you as he does his work

Then you pitch in to help him with producing

And thus a wonderful friendship blooms between you two 

Until dance line finally finds you and drags you off

“Bye, Chan!!! I’ll talk to you later!!!” You gave him a wide grin as the dragged you off 

Chan was shooketh that you actually called his name and smiled so brightly for the first time in front of him

And maybe

Just maybe

He thinks you’re special

At least that’s what his brain says 

But his heart?

Beating like there’s no tomorrow

A/N : This is the end of part 1! I’ll see y’all in part 2! I hope you guys liked this!

[itwasanangryinch]

3...2...1... Happy New Year!!

For the first (?) time, I’m actually going to make and complete a New Years meme, because fuck it, I had a good year. I’m also going to put much shorter answers for last year since I had wanted to do this then, but then... didn’t.

Favourite new (to me) band: Against Me!     5 favourite songs:

The Ocean

White Crosses

True Trans Soul Rebel

I Was a Teenage Anarchist

Norse Truth

I’ve known about Against Me! since lead singer Laura Jane Grace since she came out as trans in 2012 with her Rolling Stone profile, but I hadn’t heard any of their songs until a couple of years ago. This year was the first year I really got into her music (both here and with The Devouring Mothers) after reading her biography Tranny while on vacation in Melbourne.

Runner up: Miss Guy and the Toilet Boys, seen for the first time at Wigstock 2.Ho

2017′s answer: Ataru Nakamura, the very, very talented trans performer who played Yitzhak to JCM’s Hedwig in Japan (and because of the staging, also played Hedwig for the non-singing part of the script.)

Favourite new (to me) city: Melbourne, Australia.

If you had asked me last year, my answer would have been Tokyo, Japan and this year’s is my favourite for much the same reasons: Melbourne is very easy to get around, very fun to walk around, and I got to see the wonderful John Cameron Mitchell perform there.

Melbourne is absolutely beautiful with so many shops to explore and a free (within the few square blocks I mostly kept to) public transport system.

Runner up: Sydney, Australia. Very similar to Melbourne and might have been the favourite if I had been able to stay there longer, but.... schedules.

2017′s answer: Toyko, Japan. For the reasons listed above. I could actually see myself moving to Tokyo at some point. Not right now, but possibly eventually.

Favourite concert: John Cameron Mitchell: The Origin of Love, Brisbane

This year I have seen this concert seven times in addition to one very abridged show in Portland, Oregon to go along with a double header of Hedwig and How to Talk to Girls at Parties.

On this particular date, the band gelled really well; John was in a great mood, great energy; the crowd was incredible..... Everything just... Worked. (Even tho this was the concert I had the least amount of interaction with John afterwards, lol.)

Definitely looking forward to seeing where John takes the performances for his upcoming stateside tour and at a later, yet to be announced, time in Japan.

Runner ups: (aside from the rest of the OoL tour), Rocky Horror with Mason Alexander Park, Taboo 15 (with Mason), Alice Cooper, and Wigstock 2.Ho where I finally got to see NPH performing as Hedwig.

2017′s answer: Hedwig and the Angry Inch: October 14th, evening. Tokyo, Japan.

In my estimation, this was the best of all of the Hedwig concerts. By this point, everyone had performed this in front of an audience twice before and the show from beginning to end gelled really well. Again, there was an incredible energy between the band and the two lead performers and the audiences for all of the Japan shows were great. From beginning to end, this one was the best.

From about the Tommy monologue til the end, the final Tokyo show (Oct. 15th) was the best because there was this crackling, alive, angry energy that had an almost dangerous feeling to Exquisite Corpse and was the only show (surprisingly!!) where I cried at the delivery of my favourite line “Then love the front of me.” On that show, with the exception of Exquisite Corpse, I cried from that line til John started the encore song, ‘The End of Love’ and I had only stopped there because I had completely forgotten he was doing an encore song.

Favourite movie: Black Panther

I’ve been waiting literal years for this movie to be made and there was not one thing to be disappointed in in its final rendering in my opinion. I realize that unlike a large portion of the audience, this movie was very much not reflective of my experiences and at no point would I claim to be represented by it as anything other than a nerd and a comic book fan.

Being a fan of the Black Panther for years has meant having tone deaf comic lines, sidelined animated stories, and much less content, merch, and even cartoon adaptation than some of his paler counterparts. So to see a film that was technically and narratively perfect being rendered so beautifully and taking the box office for many, many weeks was a wonderful way to start this year.

Runners up: Deadpool 2, Bad Samaratian, and does How to Talk to Girls at Parties even count for this year if I saw it last year in Japan??

2017′s answer: a strong tie between Transpotting 2 and HtTtGaP. T2 because it was so much better than I could have ever hoped it to be. It married themes and footage from the first film perfectly to the characters’ lives 20 years on. It gave me hope for an eventual Hedwig sequel in terms of quality because based on interviews, they share a similar tone in terms of ageing characters. Plus Danny Boyle’s cinematography was truly beautiful with the use of shadows, call-backs, foreshadowing.... A true equal to the most iconic of Scottish films.

HtTtGaP because well.... John Cameron Mitchell’s direction mixed with an alien invasion set against punk rock and the Queen’s jubilee? How could I not love it? To me, it’s a strong second to Hedwig in terms of quality and netted my absolute favourite review via the BBC (‘This is one of the worst films ever made’, trust me Beeb reviewer, if that were true, cinema would be a far more enjoyable art form.)

Favourite vacation: Australia

Long story short: I met my favourite actor five times. It’s very rare in this life that you can actually tell an artist who influenced your life in a very meaningful way just how much their art and they as a person mean to you. This year, after seeing JCM perform live eight times and on video, no lie, thousands of times, I had the chance to actually do this. And unlike how I was worried about for the past three years, I wasn’t actually nervous to talk to him at all. Part of that is that he is a very easy person to feel at ease with, very comforting presence.... And part of it was that during the first Australian show I went to where I’m dressed as the very first Squeezebox Hedwig, John lay on top of me as part of the final number. How could I be scared to talk to him after that introduction??

Runners up: going to see Taboo 15 in New York with my best friend and touring the David Bowie Is exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum (March), going to see Wigstock with Risa. Technically, I ditched work to be able to go, but.... 10/10, I would do it again. I saw a lot of amazing performers for the first time, had a chance to chat with Mason again, and saw the tour de force that is Neil Patrick Harris as Hedwig and Lena Hall as Yitzhak.

Hopefully next year, the Hedwig section will be able to be longer. (Or maybe Yitz will perform by himself. Or multiple Hedwigs. Or just the entire Hedwig script delivered at the end of a seven hour drag festival pre-show.)

2017′s answer: Hedwig in Japan. Not only did I get to meet my friend @miyacantdecide for the first time in person, I was able to see the wonder that is JCM as Hedwig live. Even when he’s not delivering the script, his presence as Hedwig is truly something else. And having seen him perform as himself (but in a version of her makeup) this year, I can honestly say that She has a completely different stage presence to Him and how incredible of an actor to be able to deliver such radically different interpretations of the same material and songs??

Outside of Hedwig, I can honestly say that I came back from Japan a changed person. Better in so many ways than I was a year previous. Almost completely made whole again after past traumas (and completed a year later on a different trip.)

2017′s runner up: seeing RENT 20 live. I had a blast hanging out with my mother most of the days and the RENT 20 cast? Holy shit. What talents. Cried from ‘I’ll Cover You (Reprise)’ til the end of ‘Finale B’. Just goes to show: it doesn’t matter if the show’s set in December and it’s hot As Fuck outside if you have a talented cast bundled up in sweaters for 75% of the script.

Favourite album: Golden by Kylie

Not only does pop’s most talented princess talk about her recent breakup with Joshua Sause (sp?), there’s themes of her ageing as this year our princess turned 50. While I agree with reviewers that this isn’t her best musically or vocally, I find myself replaying this one over and over on my stereo and headphones more than almost any other album this year. Favourite song: a toss up between Shelby ‘68 and Low Blow.

2017′s answer: Pollinator by Blondie. It had been two years since the release of 2014′s Ghost of Download, but unlike Ghost’s offerings that went largely unnoticed by me at the time, every single from Pollinator got me more and more hyped not only because of the excellent music evident on songs such as Fun, Long Time, and Doom or Destiny, but collaborations with artists such as Raja (on the video for Fun) and Joan Jett (the aforementioned Doom or Destiny), the honey-thick entrancing song Fragments, and the wonderful Love Line.

This year has been weirder, queerer, and more wonderful than any year yet on record. I’ve been to a number of technically-but-not-really drag shows, revisited some of my favourite artists in concert, met two of my favourite Hedwigs, and saw four total Heds perform.... I’ve read and learned more about the queer experience that not only deepened my understanding of my larger community, but of my own experiences and how they fit within the community. I’ve become more confident being out to coworkers and customers at my job....

I had the pleasure of meeting two of my close friends @hedwig-in-a-jukebox and @fdelopera in person (with plans to meet up again early-2019) as well as making some new friends.

Here’s to an even better 2019! Onwards and upwards.