#dont be stupid anymore but damn that sucks

[buppypuppy]

.

[thotsfortherapy]

i used to be really nervous about going back to my hometown because ‘what if i run into someone i don’t like‘ but like. the few times that has happened the people who have done be dirty have just 100% ignored me/run away from me. even despite me trying to be like heyyy. lol. which i guess means im a lot more confrontational than other ppl....

[siroofington]

they should invent a shopping for womens formalwear that doesnt make me want to [redacted]

[alternian-survival-advice]

How to get ⬇️ndoxxed? ⬆️sk|nf For a fr|end

oh shit it's you. ok so i have good news and bad news. the bad news is you can't. the good news is there's still some shit you can do. first of all id take down as much shit mentioning any identifiable info about you as you can. theres no guarantee someone hasn't already saved it or sent five million screenshots around but it'd be stupid to leave anything up. if you know the right people you can get rid of stuff on other peoples blogs too. plus obviously report shit duh. report blogs and posts that doxx you. aren't you literally indigo? not like youre gonna have a hard time getting people to listen. this sites staff are just as biased as they are on any other site.

another piece of great news for you is that this corner of the internet isn't that popular anyway. barely anyones going to have seen that shit. not that that really makes shit much better but at least you're not a grubtuber or something. if i were you id abandon the blog tbh. or honestly man you can just pretend to leave it and come back with a new dumbass faceclaim... hows anyone even gonna know? literally just switch up your typing style slightly and use a different pic and suddenly youre a whole new person. my third and most critical piece of advice is to not give out your fucking address ever. just dont. just fucking dont give out personal info or anything that could get you hurt online to random assholes. even random assholes you share a blog with. everyone on the internet is a random asshole. i dont know why i have to keep saying this.

[faetima]

THE AVEN + HANAHAKI THING YESSS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG BECAUSE LIKE. I know it's always super angsty when it's the reader that gets hanahaki but rine having it. imagine pushing your s/o away because you don't think you can do a relationship rn just to get hit by the stupid idiot in love disease. damn sucks to be you man

(tbh hanahaki as fun as the angst is I love aventurine so much and usually just alter hanahaki to be like less deadly because a) I DONT WANT TO BE SAD and b) the whole guilt of "I developed hanahaki because of you now love me or I WILL die" feels strange to me)(but also yum angst and the consequences of pushing someone away) ((sorry I talk a lot teehee okay bye))

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫. 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. .

. . too bad he wasn't your darling anymore.

// tws ; slight cursing, blood ; gn reader ; modern au, hanahaki au 

a/n: finally wrote the aventurine exes hanahaki au lol ,, had no idea how to finish this but i might make a part 2 !! :3

ever since you had started dating aventurine, you felt like you were a burden to him in some way. but you were never sure if you were actually a burden to him, or if that was your mind playing tricks on you.

but last week had just solidified your beliefs.

you both had fought over something petty--you couldn't be bothered to remember what it was--and harsh words had been thrown around in the process.

words that cut deep into you, practically making you bleed out.

and after that?

aventurine had ignored you for the rest of the entire week. he hadn't even glanced in your direction. it was fine if he needed some space to think, but he didn't even tell you, he just started fucking ignoring you.

your efforts to talk to him had just been met by blank uninterested violet eyes.

everything that happened in the last week had all led up to yesterday.

you stood in front of his door, swallowing your nerves. why were you so nervous?

after everything that happened, everything you felt, everything he said, you didn't think you could handle a relationship at that point.

so, when aventurine answered the door, his blonde hair unruly and lavender eyes tired, you took a deep breath and finally said the words you had been so scared of saying.

"i want to break up."

--

now, you were rethinking your decision.

on one hand, it felt like a large weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

on the other hand, breaking up with him had left you in your current predicament: crouched on the cold tiled floor of your apartment, hurling up bright yellow marigolds. you coughed them up, unwillingly watching as they hit your newly polished floor. they hit the ground ungracefully, clumped together with a disgusting mixture of mucus and blood. you gagged on the flowers as the sickly sweet smell of the marigolds hit you, making you feel lightheaded and sick to your stomach.

you didn't think you would get the disease again after aventurine asked you out.

you had it once, albeit briefly. it was before you had even talked to aventurine, too scared to do so. maybe it had been your shyness, or maybe you were just scared of rejection. you weren't too sure which, but it had caused you to cough out a few lemon yellow petals.

but, as quickly as the disease had started, it had ended. aventurine talked to you and started getting close to you, and your hanahaki had eventually diminished into nothing. after that, you thought it would never start again.

but you guessed you were wrong, since the disease decided to plague you.

marigold petals--slick with mucus--fell out your mouth as you coughed your lungs out. they fell almost gracefully onto the small flower pile.

you took fast and shaky breaths, collapsing. you were too exhausted to move, the hanahaki sucking all the life out of you.

--

it had been a week now, and the disease had just gotten worse. at this rate, it would only take a month or two until you suffocated on the fucking marigolds.

you could talk to aventurine, but he would probably just ignore you again.

you could get the surgery, but you would rather die than forget aventurine. you still loved him.

at this point, you couldn't do anything but hope that the disease would just somehow go away.

--

aventurine was growing increasingly worried as the days passed.

he hadn't seen you at all after you had broken up. sure, that was normal, but his gut told him something was wrong.

horrible thoughts of what could've happened to you plagued his mind, and he couldn't take it anymore.

he grabbed his keys, his coat, and headed towards your apartment.

maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but even your friends felt as if something were terribly wrong. he'd just check on you once, and never speak to you again. you'd be okay with that, right?

--

aventurine had knocked about a dozen times by now, but had received no answer.

he swallowed. he still had a spare key to your apartment, but what if you didn't want him to come in? what if you were just busy? what if he was breaching your privacy?

he took a shaky inhale.

fuck it.

--

he stepped inside your apartment, and was hit by the extremely potent smell of marigolds.

he glanced around, and froze at what he saw.

[contraryclock]

stupid ass Don Quixote ramblings

hi this is my first tumblr post but i really wanted a good place to put this

spoilers for all of current limbus company, including Murder on the warp Express, the Don Quixote book (( kinda )), and a musical (( i'll get there ))

please humor this deranged rant about a character i havent read the source book of

so basically ive had a theory since Don was even teased that she's less so based on book Don Quixote and moreso based on the Man of La Mancha musical which is. an insane thing to suggest but hear me out here (( ive since changed how i word my stance to the much more mild "it will most likely delve into the themes of both works and reference both" because suggesting they would discount the book entirely is TRUE insanity ))

her quote (( from teaser tweets that i cannot find anymore? they seem like they were deleted which sucks )) was "To reach the unreachable star!" or something which is notably not a quote from the original book ((as far as im aware at least?)), and suggests. a lot i think!

One of the most notable differences between Man of La Mancha and the original Don Quixote is their tone and attitude towards Quixote. In the original text, he's shown to be a fool who is ignorant to the vastly more interesting world around him, and prefers to instead sink deeper into his delusions of reality equating to chivalric literature. This makes sense as Don Quixote was written as a parody and mockery of the genre

La Mancha is, notably, much more forgiving on Quixote's character, showing that while still a fool, and his insanity often detrimental to those around him, he is still a good person at heart and that he truly wishes to pursue this justice he posits

I usually say it as "Don Quixote is about how reality is beautiful, and La Mancha is about how sometimes one should strive to make reality a little more fantastical" although i dont know if that. is the most accurate comparison. both Don Quixote and La Mancha have a lot of themes and stuff going on

one of the things that made me scream was learning about "Miguel" being written on don's LCB combat spritesheet instead of her listed name

which if you've seen or read a summary of la mancha is a huge alarm bell

In La Mancha, the whole thing is shown as a Play within a Play

Miguel de Cerventes is sent to prison, awaiting trial by the inquisition, and is tasked with defending himself in a mock trial with the other prisoners so they dont take his belongings. His defense is Don Quixote, Man of La Mancha! With the prisoners acting out the various roles he assigns them, and him acting as the leading man, Don Quixote himself!

that was most of the things that made me think "Oh, maybe it'll be La Mancha!" and then this happened

and i sort of lost my god damned mind

because like what if this is miguel... what if shes simultaneously playing out her life as don quixote as a her delusion, and as her dream, but also as a statement...

idk but this isnt JUST about Man of La Mancha bc i think this has a few implications for how don's canto is going to go

In both don quixote and la mancha, they send someone to cure quixote of his delusions

The final thing they try is setting up an act where a "Knight of Mirrors" duels with Quixote, which ends up working.

The Knight forces Quixote to see how he is perceived by others, to see the truth that he is no knight.

ignoring the stuff with vampires and mirrors for a second, i feel like this could be more mirror world shenanigans, where either the knight IS a mirror world don quixote, or is someone who will show her mirror worlds. Whatever that will imply!!! i dont know its exciting!!!!!

Her being absurdly old and powerful, plus bloodfiends having a whole familial adjacent hierarchy makes me think theres a LOT of bloodfiends out there that would want her back

I dunno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im insane!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! i just wanted to get my thoughts out before her canto actually happened so i can say that i did indeed have an opinion on this

-limbus assets taken form Lunartique's asset google drive go look at it -text written by me and not proofread

ok thanks bye dont follow me byeee byeeeeee

[t0rturedangel]

I wanted to request a Rick x reader if it's ok with you? Were they going to the citadel and since there's no readers there other Rick may try and talk to the reader? Who knows, maybe they get jealous of Rick and try to take the reader because since there Rick they like the reader too. (By the way feel free to ignore but to let you know I really LOVE your writing, it's so accurate and I hope this motivates you to keep it up)

𝟎𝟎𝟏. 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧

⠀⠀⠀: ᯓ 𝟎𝟎𝟐.⠀ C-137 RICK SANCHEZ X READER

› 〉 𝟎𝟎𝟑. SYNOPSIS, Rick wasn't not too keen on bringing you to the citadel, and this is why

› 〉 𝟎𝟎𝟒. WARNINGS, Rick Sanchez, other ricks, swearing, possibly ooc, one rick gets a lil freaky with you, a rick dies.

› 〉 𝟎𝟎𝟓. AUTHOR'S NOTES, I'm on that grind rn, posting as much as I can while I still have the motivation. also I LOVE THIS REQUEST!! AHHH I'll happily do it!!

🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤYour curiosity of the citadel started when MORTY had accidently mentioned it- he had been complaining about all the scams he found there when you overheared, quickly prompting you to immediately ask questions about it- RICK never told you anything about this citadel so obviously you were curious. MORTY had no idea RICK was keeping the citadel hidden from you for a reason and thus he happily began to explain about the citadel until he was caught by RICK.

"W-w-what the hell Morty?!" RICK pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes narrowed at his morty- teeth practically gritting together in annoyence causing the teen boy to quickly question why his grandpa was suddenly even more angry with him "W-what?" He asked, slowly getting nervous as Rick groaned, ignoring your puzzled and equaly annoyed look, "They weren't supposed to find out about the citadel Morty!" Your Rick burped, now dragging his hand down his face "W-w-w-well I-I-I didn't know that!" Morty defended himself just before you voiced your opinion "Rick why have you never told me about the citadel? Meeting other me's would be so cool!" "No it wouldn't be... trust me [name] I know" "Maybe for you" you rolled your eyes, resting your elbow on Morty's shoulder (who was nervously looking between you and Rick). "Take me to the citadel Rick" you commaned after a short pause, immediately getting a shake of the said and a stern 'no' from Rick "What the fuck, why? You take Morty!" "It isn't the same with you as it is with Morty." "I dont care" "Neither do I but-" "So?"

🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤyou two began to bicker about it, with you being insistant on going to the damned citadel while RICK came up with any and every excuse on why you should not and could not go- "they have man-eating cows so you'd be eaten immediately" was one of them, quite a stupid one you must admit but you quickly contrasted it "Okay? so i'll bring a gun!" and that went on for hours.... and then eventually days until RICK eventually gave up.

🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤThat's how you ended up in the citadel. Wandering about like a child with your RICK close behind, glaring at every other rick who even glanced your way.

You looked around, eyes shining with curiosity and awe at each building and piece of technology you found (which was every where) "What the fuck Rick, why didn't you show me this place sooner!" "Because this place sucks?" you decided not to answer your boyfriend and instead run around some more, unintentionally ignoring RICK- who's voice was getting quieter and quieter until you couldn't hear it anymore. So now you found yourself by a train station, looking at all the different ricks, most wearing factory worker clothes which struck you as being odd, aren't all rick's smart asf? why are they dressed like that? Your overly curious nature led you to one of them, poking him in the shoulder for his attention. Your contact with him startled that rick, he quickly snapped his head to you- getting ready to shout at whoever was disturbing him until he processed your face- his eyes widening in, what you assumed to be, awe "a-a [name]?!" He bleched, asking like you were some damn pokemon "whats good" was your simple, yet slightly annoyed reply. "H-how did you get here? [n-names] are so rare" He questioned, a grimy hand getting closer to your face, possibly to examine it which was something you did not appriciate so thus you leant back. "Woah hands off" You held up your hands, trying to form a distance between you and the rick- which had somehow caught the attention of the other ricks who were staring at you with wide eyes, you could practically hear their shocked whispers which also consisted of 'a [name]?' 'when did a [name] get here?' 'where is their rick?' what the fuck are they talking about? and just as you were about to leg it in the opposite direction, one of the ricks- in an extremely expensive suit- walked up to you "Where is your rick?" his voice seemed posh, he didn't stutter and definately didn't have that alcoholic stench you were familiar with "uh... he's over- shit." you looked behind you, hoping to see your boyfriend yet was met with nothing.

"So your rick has left you? Meaning you're up for grabs?" "what the shit??? NO. My rick hasn't left me ass-face, and I'm not 'up for grabs' like a damn toy! Go find another [name]!" You gritted your teeth, clearly irritated by how you were talked about like you were an object "I can't just 'find another [name]' thats impossible, nearly all [names] are gone." the rick rolled his eyes, matching your irritation "But either way, why would you want to stay with whoever your rick is when you could be with me? I'm one of the citadels bet buissness men, I could treat you well" the way he was talking was making you sick to your stomach "Eat ass dude, My rick is brilliant! I dont need a replacement!" "Well clearly--" "-- you need to get the fuck away from [name]" a new, yet exact name, voice intergected the posh rick's statement, angering him "Just who the hell do you think you are?" "RICK OH MY GOD." You practically threw yourself to your rick, desperate to get out of the situation you were in- something that made all the other rick's (appart from the posh one) to let out defeated sighs and revert to how they were before you appeared. "So you're their rick? You seem pathetic." "The only thing pathetic here is that you think you can take my s/o" Your Rick jeered, crossing his arms "Well I can If I want to, you fucking alcoholic--" thankfully, the rick was quickly cut off, as the sound of a gun fired through the station- earning a small gasp from you and annoyed yells from the alive ricks.

"Come on [name]" Your rick grabbed your hand, before shooting a portal and walking through it "You didn't have to--" "-- He was getting on my nerves, I hate those types of Ricks.." "I see why.. but Rick, why did he say that nearly all of mes are gone?". You saw Rick physically stiffen up, before he shook his head "You'll find out later, I can't be asked to tell you right now." and while you were tempted to bother him about the topic, you had learnt that It's best to listen to him, at least for now. With a sigh, you plopped down on the sofa- next to your boyfriend "I will never go there again." "Yeah, see, what do I keep telling you all? I'm the smartest man in the universe and I know what I'm talking about ALWAYS, dumb pieces of shit" He sighed not even looking your way "Yeah yeah.. let's just watch some interdementional cable" You snatched the remote from the ground and began to switch through the channels, "WAIT, [name] go back! go fucking back! I saw ball fondlers!"

🜸 ㅤ▎ㅤ▍ㅤWhile RICK will never admit it, he is glad that you are never going back to the citadel- makes it easier for him to control his jealousy.

[lemonsturnioloo]

★POV, UR IN A GC WITH THE STURNIOLOS★

By lemonsturnioloo

Colors: Chris Matt Nick You

•••••••••••••••1:00 pm••••••••••••••••••••

Hey

Hola

Hi

Come eat ass

NO

ESTAS

HAHAHAHAHS

Get me out of this gc..

Anyways

What did you guys do tdy?

I slept

I walked

Nick?

I ate

We all have such exiting lives!

Real

Knock knock

Whos thier?

There*

You fucking asshole i dont even wanna tell the joke anymore

An hour later

Are you still mad

Twinkle twinkle little star

How i wonder what you are

Wish i could hit you with my car

So are you still mad?

Can you not fucking read

Guys im learning ukerllandbrd

Same

How do you know what shes talking about..

Bc were both learning the ukallalie

Take your time

Ukalalee

Umkallae

The fucking mini guitar

Ohh

THE NEXT DAY

Y/N i miss uu

Check outside

Theres nobody there

Oh shit im at the wrong house

LMFAOOOOO

Shut the fuck up Bernard

Not cool

HEKPPPP

Police are cumming

WHAT?

NO I MEANY COMING

Wait are they actually tho

No it was a fucking joke that i messed up bro

Im such a loser

I know

Open the door

Matt stop ignoring me

Matt open the door

Why me

Bc me and chris are upstairs

I am too

Bitch no your not i see you on the couch

Why sre you looking in the window

Just open the fucking door

No

Why not

Bc u used my middle name

Okay Matthew open the door

THATS WORSE

Bro fuck u

I hate uou

Why are we even friends

Idk

Matt just open the fucking door i miss her

Fine

Thabk u Matty boy i love uu

Mhm

AFTER YOU LEAVE

Y/n i misss uuuu

I miss u too chrisssyyyy

What did u guys even do in his room

Ya u guys left me to go to chris stinky room

She sucked my dick

WHAT?

Im joking chill

If there was any dick she would suck it would be matts

Shut the fuck up

Okayyy

What..

Y/N has a big juicyy…

Finish that text and i’ll kill you

Nvm.

Okay..

Changing the subject..

Whats yalls biggest fear?

Being forgotten.

Damn thats deep

Mines the koolaid man but now i kinda feels stupid

THE KOOLAID MAN💀

Shut up

NOO WAYYY😭

————————————————————————-

Im ending this here bc u dont want this to be to long, I will be making more parts to this story!sorry for any misspellings im a fast typer. Thank u for reading this silly little story<3

[antiendovents]

// vent, medical ableism

tldr; my fucking DOCTOR is pro-endo and her source is a dumbass paper that proves nothing and now my healthcare is at risk!!

just had my appointment with my gender wellness doctor. she asked how i've been and i mentioned finding a 2nd therapist for specific stuff. she asked what and i said dissociative disorders. i wanted to be vague but she pressed me to talk about it and reluctantly i talked about having alters and answered her questions bc i struggle with saying no.

i told her i was ok with doing an adverse childhood experiences scale but that i had stuff i wanted to talk about (like my hrt not being at the pharmacy for months) she said "we'll get to it".

after the assessment she asked abt it causing distress and she was talking about how in the office they use the term "plural identities" i said that was fine but that its still a disorder. she was like "disorder is negative" and compared it to how it used to be called gender identity disorder (comparing the two as if she has any place to talk on it, being cis and a singlet) but its better to use "plural identities"

i was like "thats fine as long as its still seen as a disorder and caused by trauma" and she was like "no its not always caused by trauma" and i straight up said "do you have a source for that?" and she was like "google my husbands name" and i did and THEN she moved on to my actual issues with struggling to get hrt for months.

the whole time after i had to mask how i was feeling so i could get basic healthcare. after she hung up i burst into tears. its been like 10 min and im still crying and feel sick. ive had doctors say they dont know what DID/OSDD-1 is before. ive had them say DID is a personality disorder. ive never had anything like this before and i feel unsafe. the fucking endo community IS affecting healthcare. i dont feel like i can ever talk to a doctor about this stuff again. she completely talked over me and then moved on like it was nothing

btw this is the stupid study her husband worked on. read it and its not even PROVING ANY OF WHAT SHE SAID. its just "oh well some people THINK theyre plural and of course disordered people have to be miserable so if you like ur alters they must be magically there!" and was from the plural association. its fucking disgusting this is being used as fact when theres nothing but subjective opinion.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S246874992300042X

i genuinely think im going to go to planned parenthood from now on. i cant work with her anymore. its been 2? maybe more years of working with her but im done. im sorry to ramble so much. im still having a breakdown over this.

-arachnid anon

im really sorry about that arachnid anon. That sucks and if you can we hope you manage to get a new doctor because she is clearly causing you distress. This really sucks, I feel like endos don't always realise how dangerous this stuff can be for actual systems. If doctors don't see it as a disorder then they won't treat it as such, meaning you won't get the help you need and you won't feel safe with her (as you said), which like,, isn't good. She's not a specialist meaning if anything she shouldn't really be saying stuff about DID/OSDD at all, because that's not her job or her place ((I understand you brought it up, but still. She should keep her opinions out of her damn job))

[saltminerising]

1. ​In the midst of a lengthy ban explanation, the team member who wrote it confessed that there were several times where I broke the rules and they didn't ban me. (The accounts ended up locked for other reasons.) Was that supposed to make you seem merciful? Because hanging on to all that to trot out at the last minute comes off as petty spite to me. THAT'S why I'm leaving for good, not because I'm "out of second chances". Go take your unevenly applied rules and bother someone else.

------------------------------------

2. I wish FR would impliment a thing where you can just ask to have extra accounts closed, without risking your main. That would be nice

Or maybe an, idk, multiaccounter debt system, where all the stuff you've funneled gets given a FR currency value that you then have to pay off before you earn anything new to spend yourself. Probably wouldn't ever happen because it could lead to massive unpayable debts in the case of some things, but it feels unfair that literally any multi activity at any point of your time on the site risks a ban and loss of potential years of progress, even if they barely did anything with the extra accounts at all

Yes I'm aware they let you make a new account after but still. Sucks

------------------------------------

3. very respectfully i wish anybody who made multiple accounts without realizing it was against the rules a very get banned idiot. its right there in tos. literally right there. i dont even care if you were a wee lamb of 13. just read the damn rules!

------------------------------------

4. the fact that you can get banned for something you did 5-7 years ago is fucking stupid. they run such a tight ass ship for a game thats not even in semi-closed beta anymore.

------------------------------------

5. for the person asking about reasons for multi-accounting ; i have a dissociative disorder and often forgot my passwords/logins. these often came back recollected over the next few years. i'd log in to an old account, see i had currency, send it over and never touch it again. maybe not a super crazy reason for "multi-ing" if you can even call it that (and personally i dont even consider it funneling) but i imagine there are a lot of cases like this of just genuine forgetfulness.

------------------------------------

6. The multi rules are so ass bc if you ever accidentally break them u might as well double down bc ur getting banned either way

------------------------------------

7. when i was 14 i wanted to get rid of some of my dragons but i was still a little attached so i made another account and just sent the dragons to it and now they sit there......hungry forever.....anyway i lost the password and i only started taking this game seriously like a year ago but now im lowkey scared if i will be found guilty of multi-accounting and sentenced to death :)

[honeeslust]

Suguru and his hair

🖤 absolutely no context!! You just hate him and he loves fucking it outta you. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Hair up Suguru is altering the very chemistry of your brain. You know this because under any other circumstance, you'd be ready to rock his shit when called you a stupid little monkey. But now you can't care any less because when he is staring down at you kneeling before him, you're biting down on your lip, withholding your pleas for him to touch you. You're trained to be patient and hold still while he fits you for a new collar. His eyes are misleadingly gentle on you as he pinches your chin between his thumb and forefinger. perfect fit!! FUCK! You're lost in his amber eyes wanting to be his stupid little monkey. You hate him so much but his tone vibrates so low and flows through you making your stomach drop, right into that spot where all the butterflies reside. Now, you only think of his lips and how they're so close that you can almost taste the liquor on his breath. Next thing you know he's digging all in your guts, his arms crossed over your back and hands at your waist so he can drag them hips into him. Fuck you’re taking me just right, he rutts his hips into you, blowing your back out, ruthlessly fucking you so stupid you can't even tell him how much you hate him anymore. Instead, you’re choking on your moans when he tugs at your leash, don't you dare cum yet. He hisses through clenched teeth. He wants you crying on his dick beforebyoull get to come, so he puts that leg up, dumbing you down blow for blow with the stupidest fattest fucking dick you've ever taken and he's doing all cause you said you hated him.

Half up Suguru has you questioning your sanity because why the fuck does it make sense to let him lead you on all fours, just a cum drunk bimbo with her ass out so he could taste whenever he wants. He says it and you obey. What makes you let him fuck your pretty face while you look up at him with those doll eyes that you swear makes his body shudder and his dick twitch at the back of your throat. It's because you wanted this… him. Right now between your legs while you pull on his hair. His tongue changes the way you speak to him. It's not fuck you it's please suguru fuck me. It's not I hate you but fuck I love your fuckin mouth. It's not let me be, it's please suguru let me come. It's this suguru who talks the most shit. Funny how my tongue makes you forget how to breathe. You dont want it to be true but it is. Suguru this is so fucked up, I shouldn't behe—eeek! Fuck you!!he purposely grazes you clit with his teeth, sorry what we're you saying. I shouldn't be like this for you why not?? Lost for words you can only moan before he asks you again. MmHhh-cause..you really fucking suck, I don't want this. In response, he pushes two thick fingers inside, curlig and pusling into just the right spot, damn near making you come already, Yea yea, keep lying to your fucking self. But I promise I'll suck the truth right out from you hmm? His tongue laps over your clit making it impossible to deny what he's saying, right from this pretty fucking pussy. You know I can do it? Again those honey colored eyes are locked in yours damn near feasting on your soul just as his mouth does that pussy. then it all makes sense. When every fuckin cell multiplying in your body ignites with the familiar pull on every part of you, you break, a thousand times over for him and he sucks it all up into his palm, drinking from you until you're nothing but a pile of writhing flesh pleading for him to let you breathe. He ignores you, forcing your legs aside so he can have more. the next flick of his tongue snatches you right back into your body, giving you no choice but to take it I'm not stopping, this pussy too fucking good to only make you come once!

Satoru and the blindfold

@littlemochabunni @biscuitsngravie @blkkizzat @ryomens-vixen

[toxooz]

The canvases aren’t even safe 😭 they used the Boroque era as reference for their search engines. Like I’m losing my shit constantly over ai art so bad. Like this is totally gonna be a rant so forgive me but it’s driving up the WALLS. Ai art being readily available is killing the incentive for people to be creative. I cannot tell you how many times I think I’ve found a really cool fellow artist on tiktok and then see #midjourney. I take psychic damage every time that happens to me. And I’m starting to see it infiltrating business too where they generate ai images instead of hire photographers. I also saw someone selling tshirts with ai art on it at my local farmers market. MOTHERFUCKER THE FARMERS MARKET??? HAVE YOU NO SHAME????

NAW PREACH IT cause its become a nagging issue for me for a while that i simply try to not think about and dwell on but dear FUCKING god is it everywhere and it's painfully obvious too! just about every ad takes me 3 seconds to find damning evidence that its ai and im 99% ready to just delete facebook bc #1 i dont give a fuck abt anyone on there anymore and #2 Literally every other post is the most deplorable ai shit ive ever seen that everyone is carelessly oblivious to i mean total abominations that don't make any sense as an image but ppl share bc its the most bottom of the barrel ''relatable'' shit and that's just the sad reality of it is most people don't even give a shit what they're looking at as long as it looks pretty to their eyes for 3 seconds they don't give a damn

and that's just on basic everyday world shit like u said there's so many mfs i think are decent artists where i legitimately cant tell its ai until i read their fuckshit bio or somethin, like that midjourney i didnt even know it was an ai program i would've just thought it was the name of a video game or some shit! like I feel like I'm kinda turning my back on the whole art community involuntarily bc i just dont trust any image i see most of the time and its fukkin sad i ESPECIALLY feel for the real artists prior to this shitshow who have art styles that now look so much like ai that they basically hijacked to feed the machine like I couldn't imagine spending thousands of dollars on an art college and hours of practice just for your art style to be The Blueprint for empty soulless photos cranked out at inhuman rates by any stupid fucking lazy ass clown like Fuck Man it all sucks so much and the worst part is I just feel like it's one of those things where it will not stop until Something caves and i honestly dont know which one it will be but i just know its only going to get worse idk i try to remember that i can pick up a paintbrush or even whatever the hell i want and make something beautiful while 98% of these ai sacks of shit are just limited to stealing other peoples art on the internet and they couldn't even paint a damn flower if their lives depended on it and if i was stuck on a deserted island I'd probably still find ways to make art with whatever tools and resources i have cause that's an artist baybay but as far as The Internet and its grasp it has on the world and trying to make it as a digital artist and trying to make money from your homemade artwork is very grim man and dont even get me started on art and artists in just about every job field rn my heart goes out to them

[widevibratobitch]

Ok. Any "Terror" fic recommendations?

good lord YES countless really. idk what you're looking for specifically though.

i myself am a fitzier girlie first and foremost with some occasional fitzconte thrown in. i'll best direct you to my ao3 bookmarks, specifically to the tag i keep for my personal favourites, the crème de la crème of fics I've read and liked.

some examples under the cut.

i am a connoisseur of ✨fitzier hatesex✨ and there's surprisingly not that many of those compared to fics where they're all lovey-dovey with each other (which. dont get me wrong. i also enjoy from time to time). so i'll give you some that have truly stuck with me. it's mostly pwp sorry not sorry.

Some lovely perilous thing by cosmogram

“Oh,” James gasps, and really, it’s almost too easy. James ought to have some modicum of shame, ought to be able to master himself better than this—better than turning to a doe-eyed dissolute the second a man so much as breathes near his eager young cock. “Not here, Francis,” James pants out, voice already hitching high. “The great cabin, at the very least.”

“Here, I think,” Francis returns crisply. “On your knees.”

it's just so fucking good. very hot. i honestly don't know what else i could say about this, it's one of my personal favourites amongst personal favourites (along with the one i link next, from the same author).

Devotion by cosmogram

Francis does not seek him anymore, but neither—still worse—does Francis bother to dismiss him when James arrives of his own volition, each time with all the hope of the most wretched fool. “Oh, get to it, then,” Francis muttered with sublime disinterest that very day when James appeared in his cabin’s doorway. James had, in fact, come to talk—but he had not hesitated when Francis gestured dispassionately to the front of his trousers. He had dropped, wordlessly, to his knees to obey.

everyone give it up for erectile dysfunction! hip-hip hurray! the author sums it up well with the James Fitzjames’s Tragically Unmet Praise Kink tag. this one is a little more on the sad side, Francis is being a goddamn gremlin and James is at his most needy and pathetic. nothing hotter to me personally than sucking someone's limp dick and crying about it. i find myself thinking about this fic an ungodly amount. i love it so much. again, best of the best of the best.

nice dream by icicaille

Francis swirled the last dregs in his glass and peered into its depths. Some kind of grim satisfaction had come over him. “I’ll tell you what you want to hear,” he said. “For a certain price.” It was foolhardy beyond measure. Damning, even.

basically, Fitzjames gives Crozier a blowjob in exchange for Francis telling him some nice reassuring things he needs to hear so badly it makes him look stupid - malicious compliance from Francis of course with some nice internalised homophobia. James is, again, pathetic as all shit with a little twist at the end. no one is having a good time except for me of course.

hunger's vocabulary by icicaille

“Ah, Sir John.” Francis cleared his throat once the wardroom was near to empty. “May I borrow James? Regarding the Lloyd’s balance. We took readings that require further inspection. I’ll send him back in a gig—tonight if the weather holds, in the morning otherwise.”

chef's kiss. just two cunty cunts going at it (the dialogues are so good...) with a sprimkle of some angsty self-loathing Francis. what more could you ask for.

you are coming down with me by dazydaisy

Chapter one: “If I loved you I could perhaps fuck you as if I hated you, in order to please you, but, as you are surely aware by now Fitzjames, you and love are oil and water to me.”

Chapter two: ‘Maybe,’ James had begun to unlace the front of his trousers with a carelessness he had (shamefully) practiced, ‘if you loved yourself even a little you would be able to stop yourself from doing as I command. But, as I’m sure you know by now Francis, you and love are like oil and water. The two simply do not meet.’

*

Mum and dad are fighting again

pretty much what it says on the tin. just two heartbroken bitches fucking and being cruel to each other and im eating that shit up thanks

A Willing Foe and Sea-Room by ClutchHedonist

“Nnh.” Fitzjames whines around his thumb.

“None of that. Clearly, you can’t shut your own bloody mouth to save your life.” Francis huffs, “So I’ll shut it for you.”

pre-canon. Fitzjames - still as a baby lieutenant - and Crozier have a brief but very hot encounter during some Admiralty Party.

Caïssa by cosmogram

“You said you had a question,” Francis snapped, irritable already.

“Yes,” James said, flushed and resplendent still from the company next door—undaunted and loose-limbed in just the way that plucked cloying ire from a raw place in Francis. “How’s your chess game?”

A seduction.

a little bonus to the list, because i love this fic and it recently updated after a very long hiatus (it's still a wip tho but i hope the author manages to finish it, they're one of my favourite writers in this fandom). no hatesex here, it's more of a slow-burn with past Crozier/Ross and really great dialogues, as always. Neptune also makes an appearance.

Bespoke by ktula

James is trying to escape his grief after Sir John's death. Francis, in his own way, is trying to do the same. OR: The one where James Fitzjames has a bit of the genders, and his captain is surprisingly accommodating of that.

ending this rec list on a kinder and softer note, as a treat. this was one of the first fics ive read in this fandom and still one of my favourites. not really hate sex though they're still rather uncertain and wary about the other. very good, very sensual, gender-heavy. beautiful fic really.

BONUS have some excellent fitzjames/le vesconte and fitzjames/franklin - as a treat.

you don't have friends (you have admirers) by JamesFitzjames

James Fitzjames is a man who does not seek help.

each chapter deals with something different, so while the fic is unfinished it's not really some painful cliffhanger (tho i would love to see it completed one day). second chapter is some excellent, excellent Fitzconte. last chapter also has, why, of course, some really delightful ✨fitzier hatesex✨.

Hoo-ray and up she rises by TheGreenMeridian

They’re rip-roaringly drunk and laughing loud enough at each other to wake half the neighbourhood as they stumble into their lodgings.

i only like Fitzconte if it's done in a very specific way and this fic fits my needs just perfectly. just two besties being sillayyyy. what, like you never gave your bro a handjob just for shits and giggles?

Whatever morning brings by isamariposa

Brutus spends his life torn between disquiet, distaste and desperate pining for Caesar, leading to his infamous betrayal. In his own final moments, he raises a plea: “Jupiter Maximus, take pity on me. If by Your grace there is a way to atone for what I did to him, I beg You: let me do so in the afterlife.”

His wish is granted.

yes, yes, this is technically an HBO Rome fic but each chapter deals with a different time period - the third is dedicated to The Terror and can totally be read on its own. it's some truly excellent Sir John/Fitzjames with a sprimkle of some delightful Fitzconte tomfoolery. It's really, really good.

okay one last BONUS

devourer of debts by allmyloyaldead(van1lla_v1lla1n)

Cornelius Hickey receives, and devours, and adapts.

What Hickey receives from the universe and what he takes for himself, the pieces with which he sews himself together into a man, or something like one.

some incredible Hickey insanity. truly brilliant. the gifts Hickey receives from Billy, Irving and Fitzjames, short and sweet (by sweet i obviously mean gruesome and fucked up <3)

[vio-starzz]

Okay, moss just needs to rant and um emotion out somehwere. read it. dont read it. theres definitely trigger shit and bad spelling but idc need to rant.

yeah rant time

Okay first of all stupid pump diabetic shit. Like yes cartriagde was running low and hsd to change it but considered not doing that letting it stay dead all night because then could stay home BUT being high is a super bad thing blood wise.

like, ended up in hospital because was too high for too ling, and being high like that also is what makes me feel sick and awful and might end up throwing up and thatd be awful snd in 2020 i think. shit went that way and was in hospital for 3 days. had to LITERALLY BE AMBULNCED DOWN THERE and dont rmber any of it was hallucinating sooooo bad and stupid nurses and doctors and whatever couldnt find vein like always cuz dehydrated or something but so much poking to get iv in FUCKING AWFUL and just had a broken wrist as well

was so unpleasant lets be so real/ so changes pump cartridge anyways. going yo school despite not wanting to has to be done. better than goingndown the hugh for toooo long spiral

-

anyways rmbered why hate english teacher. girst of all, the assignments of school last year of school shootings and this year you started one of the first things off with ( kid gets falsely accused of being trans bullied amd harrased) also recently the poems hanging fire, and ESPECIALLY barbie doll like jesus fuck yes you have older kids only on this class BUT WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK. Don't like her she just does what she wants. Who needs to get permissions from parents lets talk about trigggerung thing

also shes why i got suspended!!! which, yes yes suspend the kid who was dissociated shut down stuck and having oanic attacks because they couldnt open the book we were reading ip because they were stuck. Yeah yeah call the kids DEADNAME IN FROMT OF THE WHOLE CLASS IN AN ANGRY TONE BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING PANICKING AND YOU COULDNT SEE THAT!? Thanks school for suspending me for that ig

and stupid math teacher dont have him anymore but hes also watching iver some classes so he'll walk in and hes like passive agressive and also something about him became incredibly triggering. Hes also the one who deadnamed moss as well but like. Often. Got angry when moss shut down and yelt at fae once too and just i hate him so much and his entire presence triggering and mama met him and said he truggered her a lil too so what the fuck man youre awful to be around. like god damn i hate you and how youd desdname moss worse then english teacher like WOW at least she was TRYING!?!!!!!! He sucks i hate him

also gym teacher. fae didnt have her last year but swear she said somethin about a student having a cute face today and shes just.... not very appropriate aometimes. like no youre in charge of study hall i dont think we wanna join your health class and learn about pornography ! ! ! shes just eugh.

also school in general. awful. miserable. lame as ahif

-

feel like if ever do something wrong or trugger friend instantly awful person terrible failure of a friend like. the simplest thing and anxieties like yay! you fucked up another friendship because yayayay!! And just poor emotional control so when moss gets angry cant fet angry and thats why lost first friend in a bad way because got angry at them and now fae will forever feel disgusted with how little control over anger have

like anytime rant or vent specifically to a froend its like oh fuck why would you do that shut up about your problems it doesnt matter in the skightest youre bothering them stop stop stop and jusy feel miserable but also keep doing it because have so much in brain need to get out

LIKE AUGH

cant trust therapist to tell anything to. She likes mama a lot. They seem good friends. Cant tell her how awful mama os. And how bad dad is. and.

Oh yeah moss is cutting faer father off. he was abusive and bad, he got better, he got married, ge cares about his step kids that he has no relaion too more than our family! Like wow. fuck youz Havent seen you in months, havent gotten a text, havent gotten shit- Im done. Can't actually trust him again. Not after all the shit he did when we were kids.

N. all the people going around trying to force religion onto others n stuff like. Yeah hi moss doesnt believe in jesus. Because the people around moss who did called faer older sister a whore for falling in love at 14. She got treated awfully, and moss remembers so many fucking times prayimgnfor help. praying for anything and nwver got a response. I fucking wished myself dead so many damn times, and i needed help. with so many things. And i didnt get a response. I dont know if i have a religion anymore. k dont know what to believe in, but personally i dont believe in christianity. And thay needs to be respected.

mhm. Have so many emotions and hate anger the most. Can never control it. It's bad. n who even knows what mental shit fae has anymore because fae doesnt. moss doesnt know who to be anymore.

....

So much to talk about. And a fuck ton to hate. But hey.

At least being able to rant on some of the things bothering is. helpful. Emotions are hard to feel. easier to write out.

[slashingdisneypasta]

In regards to your dark Toon Patrol drabble, how do you think the weasels would be like as yanderes? Individually or grouped together? Do you think they'd be able to work together or would wind up fighting?

Ooh, do you mean this one??

Hmmm, so we're assuming they're all after the same person? Oof... XD

I think- if Smartass wanted to work together, if he was okay with sharing, then they could. Its his whole damn job description to make them work together- he can do this XD

Butttt if he didn't wanna share... then there would be no one and nothing pulling these we | as | e | l | s together anymore.

So they would compete.

Goodluck to you.

Yandere!Toon Patrol x Reader || Blurbs

Plot: The toon weasels all obsessing over the same reader + How likely each one would be to work with each of the others to get you (🚫 = Means no.)

Warnings: This is dark!! Not the usual fun Toon Patrol stuff! Powerplay in a non-sexual sense, Sexual harassment and assault (Mostly Greasy's, of course, but there is a mention in Stupid's- tho it is still Greasy doing the assaulting), Emotional manipulation, Stalking, use of physical force, etc

Tags: @asperol-with-izzy , @disney-android-foundation , @lady-love88 , @marinerainbow , @moxiiscool , @ryantryan6969 , and @spookiifi

Smartass:

Power Imbalance. Smartass has got connections, and the power of fear on his side. And he willlllll abuse this. Smartass also has the added bonus of thinking he's better then the others!- less obsessed, less evil... better for you. Yeah, wonderful. Anyway, so Smartass will use his connections+informants to track you down and know where you are at all times, he'll have you abducted and call it rescuing if he deems it fit (Greasy's around you, Wheezy's around you, Psycho's on the hunt... reasons like that), learn everything! about you (Blackmail is his best friend), and poooosssibly make you marry him eventually... -- Likelihood to work with... Greasy- 🚫 Hell no. Wheezy- 🚫 No thanks. Psycho- 🚫 Get outta here, you loon. Stupid- 💗 Ehhhhh maayyybeeeee... if he absolutely needs some muscle... Look, he knows he lacks it.

Greasy:

Sexual Assault. Uhuh. Yeah. Are you surprised? No? Good. Definitely part of the reason you caught his attention so insanely is because he is... how should I put this delicately... um... popping boners every time that he sees you. Yeahp. Like, you do not have to be doing anything, you dont have to be wearing anything, you don't even have to see him- he just sees you, and is uncontrollably hot. And he will make it your problem. You're gonna be afraid to be alone, because this bastard will come outta nowhere to touch you. Not particularly sexual at first (just shoulder feels, cheek kisses)... then increasingly uncomfortable (Tummy gropes, butt smacks) until he's pressing and grinding his painfully hard erection into your ass and sucking on your neck. Greasy is also very very intuitive and he pays attention, so he will know what you'll like. He'll make your body react well to his touch, even if you and he both know you don't want him. -- Likelihood to work with... Smartass- 🚫 Greasy is not about to be second in command when it comes to you. Wheezy- 🚫 Greasy is slightly envious when it comes to Wheezy. Psycho- 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫+ Stupid- 💚 Very likely!! Stupid doesn't wanna touch you, just watch. Greasy kinda likes that.

Wheezy:

Emotional Manipulation. I have touched on this a few times ^^ Especially in This Drabble, if you're interested ^^ So, Wheezy is fully aware that what he's doing is wrong- he just doesn't care. He even likes it a little. He'll basically input himself into your life as a friend (Like, aren't the rest acting absolutely fucken' insane? Yeah, I see it too... ), and he'll comfort and console you when it all becomes insane... but the truth is, he tells Greasy and Psycho where to find you. And he loves it when you cry to him. He thinks its so damn cute. -- Likelihood to work with... Smartass- 💙 Sure! Smartass can be manipulated just like anyone, and he can be useful. Greasy- 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫 (Cant be controlled+he doesn't want Greasys dirty hands on you) Psycho- 🚫🚫🚫 (Just cannot be controlled) Stupid- 💙 Yep. Very easy to use.

Psycho:

Where do I even begin... Look, Psycho is already a tad unhinged as it is, so there is no just one thing to touch on, here 😅 Here are the things that he does (Or, some of them): Breaks into your home to watch you sleep, sneaks up on you, holds you still with fingers digging into your skin to force eye-contact, tells you about disturbing dreams/fantasies he has had involving you and just how crazy it made him to think about, giggle somewhere near you when you had no idea he was even around, sniff you without warning (Anywhere you give off scents. So like, yeah- your wrists and neck if you wear perfume!... but also your pits, your crotch area, the creases behind your knees, your feet, etc), turn up at your house in a feral and emotional state (Crying, hissing, scurrying), and more. -- Likelihood to work with... Smartass- 🚫 No. Greasy- 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫 x a gazillion. Wheezy- 🚫 No. Stupid- 🚫 No.

Stupid:

Stalking. Stupid doesn't have the intelligence to use things against you (Except maybe his strength) like the Smartass and Wheezy, but he is crazy about you... just so so besotted. And so, you just sorta... start to notice... a giant? Everywhere that you go?? Its very unnerving. This huge fat weasel with a buck tooth and a bat will appear everywhere, and most of the time he'll have his eyes on you. You're walking home? He's on the other side of the road, dragging his bat along the ground after him as he stares dumb and heart-eyed at you. You're standing outside of work? He's behind a wall watching you while tapping his tooth. Greasy is assaulting you?? He will be watching, muttering to himself. -- Likelihood to work with... Smartass- ❤️ Yes boss! Greasy- ❤️ He uhh... likes to watch... Wheezy- ❤️ Stupid falls for everything Wheezy tells him. Psycho- 🚫 Something about Psycho unnerves him when it comes to you... makes him fear for you.

[commanderquinn]

meta: sam coe - post-campaign analysis

allllrighty i am officially post-campaign so time for first thoughts. since im still collecting my feelings/opinions on the main quest i dont want to go super into that. i wanna wait and consolidate into a deep dive on that one. BUT i am a fic writer with a fixation on socioeconomics, intergenerational trauma, and more specifically the phenomenon of atheists clinging to their religious parents morals because they haven't taken the time to evaluate their biases and the reasons they still hold them

translation: the silver spoon space cowboy is an interesting concept. poory executed in the case of starfield, sadly, but great framework for fandom to chop the head off of and bring to their own individual comfort interpretations.

this meta will include spoilers for the following:

-sam's questline and the npcs involved

-his romance

-cora, the safety storyline around her, and how she's the best part of the space game

-why bethesda was fucking stupid to turn the cowboys into cops when they have the perfect opportunity for not that. i went in hoping for retired/reformed army rangers fed up with war looking to defend their home from fascism given the "han solo simulator" marketing, but all i got was this lousy ass rendition of the texas rangers, which i for SURE did not want

-i WONT be going into detail about the main plot for this post, just fyi. i wanna save that, and sam's relation to it, for its own essay. id still recommend not reading meta's until you finish the game tho

-i miss obsidian's writing. this game made me want to play outer worlds for the 100th time. that will probably come up a lot

this is probably gonna sound more than a bit scattered and off the fucking plot for the first section, but bare with me, im making a point eventually i promise. gotta make sure we're all on the same page first.

now that ive done a majority of his content, it's clear what the intent was for sam and i applaud it. i like it when good hearts in bad systems spot the fundamental flaws and decide to abandon it entirely, or work to change it. i hate perfect characters. i hate characters that have no growth to find. sam is a great character for showing the awesome power of a perspective change. but damn. what a waste when you're talking about a format where a writer is constricted to:

-an exact conversation trigger (bethesda games have always relied on interrupt & player approach, and i didnt notice any variation on game engine front but i wont know until they release the ck so)

-word limit on all responses (yes, you can make long dialogues in engine. but those words still have to be f u n d e d from a dev standpoint. words are not free in video games. capitalism sucks for art.)

-multiple conversation branches that ALL have to circle back to the original topic (they have to follow a set pattern of establishing a subject, then the players possible responses to that subject, the npcs responses to those responses, AND provide a seamless, one dialogue tie-in path to the next branch. it sounds super easy until you're the shmuck writing it, and then it doesnt feel so easy anymore)

-get approximately two personal quests with, what was it, 12 motion scripted scenes? (im watching other peoples pts now so ill try to remember to count, but it was. hmm. lack luster imo. im not saying quantity is vital. im a bioware fanatic, i know the power of quality when its actually delivered. i didnt have any moment like that for sams quests and it was kind of crushing. ill get into it.)

-appeal to a wide enough audience to obtain profit by holding back eXtReMe ViEwS (id like to point out that there is, at this exact moment in time, an active pr campaign (and a few scattered gaming content creators) surrounding starfield talking about how pronouns are politics and should be left out of gaming. over a setting flag in a save file. you literally dont even have to press a button about it. like, you pick your characters body. masc bodys are auto assigned m pronouns. fem bodies are auto assigned f pronouns. you literally dont even have to SEE the button, and it never gets brought up. the only purpose it serves is so the game knows what voice lines to fire. that. is. it.)

im not going to humor the "thats dumb, bethesda makes political games" contribution to the argument.

i get straight people think they're being super helpful and witty on that one, but i think the world would collectively benefit from allies taking just a few extra seconds before standing on that soapbox to maybe consider that calling existence "politics" might be, gee idk, insulting. maybe more than a lil dehumanizing. maybe super easily solved by just NOT giving into their parents obsession with playing devils advocate. i think if maybe allies could shut the fuck up for a minute or two at a time and go look for voices of authority within the communities they're defending instead of trying to talk over them, that'd probably work out better. might help cut out the completely useless middle man their parents taught them to be when they drilled home "you have to respect everyone's opinion"

no the fuck you do not, actually. i, as someone on this earth attempting to be a compassionate person, owe people a chance at understanding. i do not, under any circumstance, owe someone any kind of respect WHATSOEVER if they cannot respect me as a human being. full stop. i dont owe it to them, i dont owe it to their religion, i dont owe it to the government they try to establish. i do not owe respect to people attempting to oppress me. i never have and i never will.

but remember. there is context to be found in the passing of time. yes, you need to tell grandma to stop being racist. no, you do not need to banish grandma to the nursing home if there's still a chance that she's willing to sit and listen. a chance that she'll empathize with social perspectives that the racist society she was raised in never allowed her to have. breathe and give grandma the chance. then send her to the home if she's still racist.

(yes that was an analogy for how i imagine a perspective conversation with jacob would go. i do not have high hopes of that man finding self awareness given. well. who he is as a person.)

now. if you've played through sam's content, you already know why im bringing all of that up, but lets put together a list of all the things that Make Sam Coe Who He Is before we wrap it all up in a pretty bow that hopefully reads a lot less scattered than this "yo society got some trauma actually" lead up ive dumped on you

quick interrupt just for me: i love that im back on tumblr where i dont really have to give all that much of a fuck about making sense. any audience i could find here is equally unhinged so mostly i just have to format it in a way that makes your brain not hurt. sorry if you dont have adhd <3

1: lets talk about cora's hair.

im going to make the race observation because its bothering me from a dev standpoint AND the gamer crowd is already starting to make cuck memes which sucks to see.

i get that this doesnt matter in a colonialism scifi future where a service like enhance exists and we're talking about two rangers that apparently went under cover regularly, but it matters in the context of how sam was handled in a 2020 era commercial, creative environment. im just going to MENTION that cora coe's biological mother (that jab was me not liking her as a person, not me giving a shit that she's white) is paler than pale, and sam does NOT look like some of his earlier promo images. bethesda as a company also has a very long history of making characters arguably tan to avoid this shit.

9/16 edit: was asked for source, heres the exact image im referencing, which is still his set image on the starfield wiki to date:

(im going to preemptively warn any white artists building the urge to argue over this: you DO NOT want to die on a hill about lighting for this one, fucking trust me. thats not what this conversation is, and if you dont understand that as a White Artist, you need to sit this one out until you understand the full weight of the conversation and the profound effect of media treating skin color like a rare diversity accessory. bethesda has a very very long history of this. their last major story title, fallout 4, (76 was a money grab made in the other studio and i barely want to call it a game) had a whopping total of two black characters in its main cast, and both of them acted in subservient roles so please. please please please just. stop trying to defend bethesda on this one. its dehumanizing, cowardly, and malicious in this day and age. i promise im not trying to bite anyones head off here, im just Old And Tired when it comes to suburbanites in fandom.)

i think having solomon be canonically black would have been a really important aspect. i think it would have given the opportunity to show white people why its fucked up that they get SO EXCITED to save war mementos (or in the case of starfield a nasa memento) and will go on and on about how vital it is to save that piece of history, but when you bring up memorializing the importance of race as it pertains to human history and cultural history/pride, they suddenly start getting Very Uncomfortable and throw out phrases like "what does it matter we're all human" while standing next to the gun their grandfather smuggled home from the war

there is no brightness slider on pc and i havent gone reshade tweaking so everything is still washed out on my end (dont worry, as an rtx user, imma be makin a rant post on that) b u t. cora coe has a pale as fuck mother and a vaguely tan father with blue eyes and straight hair, meanwhile my precious angel has a darker complexion and curls that look like they're closing in on the 3c range so like. im getting vibes that sammy boy mighta been whitewashed during game dev, and thats about as far into THAT topic as im gonna bother to venture for this post.

2: his dad

were we supposed to have more daddy issues content??? istg it feels like there was the initial map talk and then nothing. im not saying that i cant pull blood from a stone and give you an entire essay on that glimpse of family trauma just from a few lines of dialogue, but still. feels like thats maybe something that should have gotten more detail.

"no forgiveness between me and my old man. it's uh... coe tradition."

oh boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy. what a line to start his personal quest

before we go ANY FURTHER im gonna drop a reference to one of my favorite aaron sorkin scenes of all time. its from the movie he did about the chicago seven, and i think it fits VERY well when having a conversation about how sam is shaped by his father

unfortunately the exact scene i want to show isnt clipped anywhere easy i could find, so here's an article that talks about that scene specifically if you want more context but dont want to watch the whole movie. what we're really focused on is this:

which is a scene where a fictional account of bobby seale, the leader of the black panther party at the time of the chicago 7 trial, said that above quote to a fictional account of tom hayden while they were having a conversation about how the stakes of this trial are life and death for him as a black man, but little more than a family dispute and a dark spot on their records for the (all white) chicago 7.

its a GREAT continuation of sorkin’s fascination around father son conflicts (he covered it a time or two during his writing days as west wings original creator, which is a great political show id strongly rec) and it really really works when used in comparison to those rebellion days sam had that he still flagellates over

sam was a privileged kid without a foundation of emotional support or a safe environment to vent to. he didnt have the words needed to communicate what he was feeling and thinking and experiencing. he didnt have the means to express himself in a way that wasn't immediately criticized by the people in his life. it doesnt take a degree in psych to figure out that sam first ran for the stars to run from his father. and it sounds like that was tradition

from the MOMENT YOU MEET HIM, jacob is full stop "my way or the highway" until you hit him with the good ol bethesda persuasion and his disposition pulls a 180 to hand you the next plot device

sam: "you know why im here."

jacob: "oh? and what's that? you come to your senses? realize where you ought to be for once?"

w o w

i wonder why sam never felt safe in his own home. i wonder why he doesnt feel safe leaving cora there. i wonder why that miserable fucking attitude and guilt has sam convinced that jacob will be the worst possible thing for his curious daughter's self esteem.

yes, grandparents sip a different kind of koolaid when it comes to their grandkids. no, that is not enough to protect that child from that much intergenerational trauma. sam's made a bad choice keeping cora in space, but he's made an EXCELLENT choice keeping her away from jacob.

forget "showing respect" to his son's choices, jacob won't give them the time of day. he brushes off constellation and wont go meet them for himself, he insists that cora being "in her family home" is the only priority (isnt THAT telling) and, as if that wasnt enough to prove he's incapable of empathy, the fact that he outright, direct fucking quote during that first scene with him, says to sam's face

"the only mistake im seeing here is you"

fuck anyone who walked away from that scene of a parent saying that to their own kid and had the response of "i dont understand why sam wont let jacob take care of cora." fuck you, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, if that was your reaction.

i looked for opportunities to get sam to talk about what the rest of those "30 plus years of experience with the man" really looked like after that. the fact that it was used as a plot device without any (from what I COULD FIND in my first pt, if i find any ill edit this) kind of dialogue discussion about that trauma around his father's behavior/mentality and the terrible influence it had is such a waste. chances are!!!!!! id fucking agree with him!!!!!!!!!! SO TELL THEM TO ME BETHESDA!!!!!! give me the chance to storm back into that house with the full story and let that geriatric fuck know why he will not be allowed back into my daughters life (yeah we're gonna be calling cora our daughter on this one bc, again, she's the best thing in the game) until he can learn to be a safe emotional environment for her

and THEN, at the end of the romance, the wrinkly mf drops a "hey can you go over sam's head and make the parenting decisions now" 20 minutes before your vows get exchanged in his living room (WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT MESS OF A WEDDING LMAO ITS A LOT but im probably gonna save it for another sam post where i talk more in depth about why packing a complicated romance in that tightly just Dont Work). like wow. wowowowwow. if that doesnt perfectly sum up how he views the dusty's (shhh i really hope that name catches on pls i keep seeing ppl use captain instead its heartbreaking) role in the family now, and confirm how he's always viewed his own son, idk what does

3: lillian "i can abandon my kid and demand she be taken care of in the same breath" hart

i was originally going to go into hella detail on his relationship with his ex but honestly i think im just gonna leave a few paragraphs and not touch on her again bc its bad for my blood pressure.

okay, here's the deal. im biased in the sense that i had a mother with attachment issues and lets just say that his ex is worth about as much to me as a pile of dogshit. it'd be one thing if she had that moment of "oh. sam and cora bond really well and i dont fit" and decided to look at that and evaluate if she wanted to continue trying to be a parent.

but she didnt have a moment of reflection. she didnt talk to a therapist. she didnt have a discussion with sam. she went back to work and decided "oh well, my kid doesnt like me" and then left her daughter with an open wound and no shot at closure. which is just. wow. that's active abandonment. she WALKED OUT of cora's life because she couldn't stomach the idea that she didnt immediately win over her daughter without any effort to connect to her.

then she has the nerve to yell at sam for not doing the best for cora. like bitch, you cant even consistently answer the phone??? what are you on??? she's REPEATEDLY broken cora's heart with false promises, and clearly made no effort to truly atone for that given just HOW angry sam is ALL the times he brings it up.

and she does it all for what????? a beat cop reputation and some shiny medals????? like shut the fuck up with that righteous indignation piglet, you're killing smugglers under someone's made up authority to protect COMMERSE, not creating galactic peace. the idea that THAT SHIT is worth more to her than her own daughter having a mother who's around for all her life milestones is inFURIATING and id fucking deck her if i could.

the fact that there's zero chance to call her out other than one single "thats a pretty awful thing to say" option is a real cop out from bethesda. they realized they put a woman in a position where she could be really, truly yelled at for something like child care, and chickened out on following through with it so they wouldnt take any heat.

thats gross and should piss you the fuck off, by the way. that sure the fuck isnt what equality looks like by any measure. you don't empower women by acting like they're infallible creatures you cant call out for being flawed. and you sure as shit dont empower the next generation of women by forgiving their abusers.

4: cora's safety

which brings us to the big sticky: sam is a disaster and i DONT think that keeping cora on a combat-active spaceship is right. i think she'd be much better off living in constellation hq (aside from the main plot obvsly) with a constant open comm to her dad and the ability to bring her to outposts and secured sights.

the problem with the biomother's abandonment isnt the distance. its the lack of attempt to connect. its the lack of forming a bond. its the fact that she had zero desire to understand her child once she figured out her child didnt "love her the most" when thats literally not a thing. the problem was never the physical space, and it wouldnt have to be in sam's case, either.

he's a dad that's there for cora day in and day out, he just never got the chance to grow out of the panic stage of a parent worried the first fever is going to kill the baby. he didn't have his dad because he had to get out to protect himself, he doesnt have a mom because of how long she's been dead, and lillian checked the fuck out at an early stage apparently. so sam was left to be the nervous wreck trying to keep history from repeating itself. the man's flying blind in the face of all the combined generational trauma of himself, his father, and his ex, all while trying not to fuck up shaping a human life.

you're damn fucking right he keeps cora glued to his side, i legitimately do not think his own ptsd would allow him to do otherwise without someone like the dusty to come and and go "hey dude, maybe its time we read some emotional intelligence and trauma books so we can start getting cora into a stable environment for literally the first time in her life? also im going to teach her gun safety for my own sanity because you keep letting her walk all over you and its scaring the fuck out of me thinking my daughter is going to try to raid a pirate ship at 15 because no one taught you proper boundaries."

5: his morals

its been 30+ years and his father wont let go of arguing and micromanaging long enough to try to understand his son. lillian is a workaholic who believes her only inherit value is what she can provide to an organization that views living, breathing human beings as occasionally expendable while screaming about its pursuit of freedom and equality.

sam coe is a man who got told what he was supposed to be his entire life, tripped into drugs and crime in an angry, sheltered act of rebellion, and walked away from it all with a very skewed, very flawed interpretation of morality as a result.

lillian and his father are the clear moral compasses in his life. like yeah, sure, he'll talk about how cora is his driving force until he's blue in the face. and he's not lying!!! he's not even technically wrong. she is his active motivation day in and day out. but she is not his Morality. she hasn't developed enough as a person to be able to be that kind of beacon. she's a kid rushing herself through childhood because she thinks that will make her better and no one in her life recognizes it enough to stop it. she shouldnt have to be the moral guide for someone who's supposed to be guiding her

sam cant let go of the ranger envy. he couldnt stomach being around it, but he cant look at that discomfort long enough to identify why. he can walk into a bank and plain as day go "ah, don't you hate the smell of capitalism," but he can't bring himself to blink the stars out of his eyes long enough to ask why the rangers are so willing to put smugglers to death without trial. sam has enough awareness to identify the system is flawed, but he doesnt have the guts to really stare that down

he'll make cracks about walter having too much money and influence, but he wont actually mention how he and his wife are the root cause of an extraordinary amount of pain and suffering and perfectly avoidable manslaughter as a result of their business. i get that constellation runs as a dont as dont tell organization, but if sam's going to give me shit about nabbing a paper weight from a guy's desk, i think we should talk about how he doesnt display anger for walter's business practices.

sam coe, at his heart, is a dreamer who doesn't want to look too close at things. he was taught that some things just Are, and looking for too many answers will find you trouble. he's got the spirit of an explorer dampened by a lifetime spent under cops.

you can hear it in his voice whenever he talks about how proud he is of cora for being a goddamn prodigy. you can hear the wonder and the excitement there. you can hear the curious kid in him that probably got pushed out of the way while he was trying to shape himself into a Proper Coe

i think sam coe is a dreamer who was forcibly taught to fear learning as a child, and thats the real tragedy of him.

so let's start to tie our bow here.

sam is a man who, in a way that only a privillaged kid can, stumbled into neon's life of drugs and smuggling and self harm through destructive behavior with both eyes firmly shut.

he didn't fall into drugs after a lifetime of being submersed in the culture of it. he didnt take them because he grew up surrounded by people that just knew that's all life was ever going to hold. he didnt get into smuggling because he was starving. he didnt take on his first "criminal act" because there was a life and death battle going on somewhere in his life.

this man was drowning in guilt and shame centered around not "being a proper coe" by the time he was free of his father's control, by all accounts. you can hear how much self hatred he has over the memory of that time in his life. look, im not going to say that age and recovery doesnt come with regret, but he talks about it like degeneracy and something to be guilted about rather than just... living life. like so what you did some drugs?? so what you did a capitalism no no?????

corporations arent people. you shouldnt steal from them because itll put YOU at risk, but under no circumstance should anyone hold onto any guilt for stealing from them. money is fake and capitalism murders people every hour of the day. fuck the system, its fucking rigged, look out for you and yours while capitalism is stealing your natural resources and making private homesteading prosecutable (translation: in our actual, real life here, the government can throw you in jail for building a house without a permit. go look up at the sky and think about the moral journey humanity had to take to get us to that point, and then come talk to me about how i shouldnt encourage people to steal from corporations)

anyways back to the video game, as far as the "what if he was unknowingly smuggling something like organs or weapons" argument, there's no desire for me to defend it, tbh. i dont view crime as a personality brand the way cops do. someone being convicted of a crime doesnt make me see them as lesser, it makes me see them as a person who did a bad thing. i do bad shit all the time. we all do. we're human. sometimes there's an excuse for the behavior, and sometimes there isnt. that's not the end of the world. you own up to your actions, you apologize, and you put in the effort to make amends that fit the situation. end of story. the obvious exception to that being when someone you have victimized tells you to fuck off because they dont want your further involvement.

yes. yes there are people in the world that are genuine monsters that spend their time and energy looking for ways to do the cruelest shit imaginable to their fellow human beings. but those are fucking outliers, so no, im not going to let a conversation about morality be derailed by a fraction of a percent of the population

but people (like the rangers) who aren't ready to look at the whole picture of context, who would rather hyper focus on the unbending rule of the land, don't see that. they see a "type" of person once a crime has been committed rather than "a person who found themselves in this scenario"

sam was raised by cops. he fundamentally does not understand how biased his own view is. he'll sometimes make a vague mention of crime being a necessity, but you can hear how many strings are attached there just from the way he talks about it. he truly views crime as a black and white subject with exceptionally few slivers of grey to be found. you can hear the "law and order is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom" in his voice whenever he talks about how the rangers are "good people" he just "didnt fit anymore" and it's heartbreaking

he'd be so much better off if he would take a moment to reevaluate his priorities and look a lot closer at that guilt he carries and why he carries it. i think it would even help him better connect with cora in the long run. it would for sure give him a better handle on why letting his daughter take on college courses this early in her life isnt something to brag about. its a bad sign that she's pushing herself to Be Something in the exact same way he used to. he just doesn't recognize it because her way is "healthy" by society's fucked up view of child prodigies

tl;dr

i don't need to fix sam coe. he's stubborn, traumatized, and sheltered, not broken.

give that man good enough head and i'm absolutely sure he could be talked into reading some -clutches pearls- marxist literature