#dorky villain

[faytelumos]

Know Thy Enemy pt2

This is so long, oh my gosh, it's 4.7k words and I still felt like I was cutting it down a lot.

@those-damn-snippets

allergens: tactless references to sex

cw: car accident (mild), medical emergency, presence of alcohol

previous

---

The doorbell rang at two on the dot. Hero stood, wiping her clammy palms on her leggings. This was recon. This was recon. If anyone from the agency asked, she would tell them the opportunity presented itself and it was in everyone's best interest for her to take it. She straightened her knee-length pleated skirt, she adjusted her blouse, and she opened the door.

Villain smiled at her, his hair coiffed back. He was wearing slacks and a nice sweater, and he had a simple bouquet of pink and yellow flowers. She gaped at them.

"Oh, I, I didn't know you were bringing flowers," she blurted. His smile turned lop-sided.

"What kind of date would I be if I didn't bring flowers?" Ahk, there was that word again—

"Er, let me…." Hero didn't finish her sentence, just taking the flowers from him and walking into her kitchen. She didn't own any vases, but she had a small set of tall drinking glasses that would probably work. What kind of date brought flowers with no vase, she might ask?

Once the flowers were set with cold water, she put them in the middle of the table. They'd be good there for now. She turned around to find Villain crouched down beside her TV, riffling through her book collection.

She'd never been so mortified to own romcom novels as she suddenly was right now in this moment. He pulled a book out and thumbed across all of the pages in two seconds, then turned the book around to read the back. He was right about to get to her favorites section, and she didn't feel like dying of the embarrassment.

"We should get going," she blurted. She could fry an egg on her face right now. She suddenly wished she'd picked a more open top; it was too hot in here. Villain looked up at her, then made a little sound and put the book back before standing. He was all smiles again.

"Right this way, my dear."

Villain drove her into a more run-down part of town. She was expecting an out-of-the-way restaurant, some kind of hole-in-the-wall hangout that only people in that neighborhood would have heard of.

She definitely wasn't expecting a room of a dozen kids screaming excitedly upon Villain's arrival.

Hero watched like a deer in headlights as Villain was crowded by shrill screams and little hugs. He lit up around them, hugging as many of them at once as he could.

"Everyone, I brought my new girlfriend —"

"Girlfr—?!"

"—This is Ro!"

The room echoed with an unharmonious cry of, "Hi, Ro!" and it scared the hell out of her for just a moment. But there was no recognition in these children's eyes.

"Ro's gonna help us with today's science project," Villain announced, turning the last words into a conspiratory kind of stage whisper. Once again the kids screamed excitedly, but this time, they all ran to the various little tables in the room. Villain reached out and froze one of the kids in place, making Hero's heart stop. What was he doing? They were just a kid!

Hero was just about to start yelling at him when the kid unfroze and spun around, giggling and jumping excitedly. Villain crouched down and motioned for the little kid to come forward with a finger.

"Now, Milly," Villain whispered, looking around suspiciously.

"Yeah?" the kid replied, nodding his head excitedly.

"I have a special assignment for you," Villain whispered as he reached up and grabbed Hero's hand. She flinched, looking down at where he was touching her. She wasn't used to feeling his skin; his powers nullified all sense of touch. His hand was slightly rough, like a half-formed callous, and his skin was cool to the touch. He pulled down on her wrist, and she hesitantly crouched down next to him. "My girlfriend, here," Villain explained and Hero bit her tongue for now, "doesn't know how to build a circuit." How did he know that? What if she did? Her training could have included electrics.

It didn't. …But it could have.

"I need you to bring her up to speed on your project," Villain finished, smiling his charming, movie star smile. Milly looked to Hero suspiciously. Hero looked back, raising an eyebrow. He raised one right back at an impressive angle. He crossed his arms, and she did the same.

"Okay, over here," Milly said slowly, getting up and going to a table. Hero glanced at Villain as he continued to smile. He gave her a little wave, then turned and walked to a different table.

Milly apparently knew all about circuits. Unfortunately, Hero didn't know the first thing. He started explaining things three levels above her head and she struggled to keep up. She asked questions and had him clarify as he worked, but she was drowning. She wouldn't come out of the situation knowing anything more than she had entered with.

But Milly didn't mind at all. As he talked more, he became absolutely aglow with excitement, and he answered all of Hero's questions animatedly and eagerly. Once he started smiling, he didn't stop. And it made Hero smile, too.

Before they knew it, an hour and a half had passed.

"Alright, kiddos!" Villain cried, clapping his hands together. "Ro and I have to go!" He smiled at his own silly rhyme and several of the kids shared their disappointment. Surprisingly tough crowd. Hero looked to Milly, and he looked at her hopefully.

"Are you gonna come back?" he asked. His brown eyes were melting Hero's heart.

"I don't know, kiddo," she uttered. "Maybe. I liked spending time with you."

"Me, too!" He beamed, and she smiled right back. Hero's attention was drawn to the bulk of the kids as they started chanting, "Up! Up! Up!" and then Milly raced over to be with them. Villain's smile became mischievous, and he crouched down as if ready to pounce.

"Alright, just once!" The kids screamed and all crouched down, too. Hero leaned back, crossing her arms and observing.

"Okay, one…" The kids crouched deeper, quieting down except for excited giggles. "Two…!" Villain got lower, giving everyone a crazed grin, wiggling his fingers like some old-timey cowboy in a tense shoot-off. The kids waited an extra beat, one of them flinched partially upright, and then— "Three!"

All of the kids jumped as high as they could as Villain sprang to his feet, flinging his hands skyward like some kind of mad scientist. The kids suddenly all stopped, hovering in the air even as they flapped their arms and kicked their legs.

"Higher!" one cried, trying to fly. Another groaned, long and strained as they kicked and reached as if to climb. A third was desperately trying to swim upwards.

Hero put a hand over her mouth, giggles rolling up her throat as Villain gasped and strained, acting for all the world like he was trying to hold something massively heavy in his hands. He lowered them to his shoulders, then leaned back and grunted, holding his invisible burden at his belly. The kids protested, and Hero finally noticed they were slowly slipping back down to the ground. More and more protests filled the room as Villain fell to a knee, then heroically hiked his burden once more to his shoulders. But it was too much, and he started to collapse. Hero couldn't help the full-on laughter that shook her when he plopped belly-down onto the floor, all of the kids falling and yelling and then running up to jostle him upright, chanting for another go. He got to his feet as if exhausted.

"No more," he panted. "No more."

"Again! Again! Again!" Hero grinned, climbing to her feet, rushing over and joining the others. Villain looked at her with… something fond. She didn't want to think about it too hard.

"Okay, okay, one more time."

He did it four times all told.

Hero waved out of the car window as she and Villain backed away from the shabby little school. Parents had begun arriving, and most of the kids waved back as they walked to another car in the parking lot.

"You were really good with Milly," Villain uttered softly as he turned the wheel. Hero looked over to him.

"Oh." She looked down at her hands. "Yeah. He's a sweet kid."

"He is," Villain agreed. He pulled slowly away from the parking spot. "He doesn't usually like adults."

Hero glanced over at Villain, but his eyes were on the little road to the parking lot entrance. She'd gotten the feeling that Milly was distrustful of her at first. And she didn't blame him — she was a stranger, after all. But the way Villain said, "He doesn't usually like adults," seemed a bit… loaded. Had something happened? She wasn't sure she'd want to know. But part of her burned to know that sweet little boy wasn't being hurt.

"Why not?" she whispered. Villain glanced over to her, slowing to a stop to pull onto the street, and he gave her a lopsided, dorky smile.

"Most people get petty when they realize he's smarter than they are."

Hero stared at him. There was a muscle in her head that instantly pulled the, "How dare you!" switch in her brain. But also, Milly had been much more knowledgable than her on their topic for the day.

And why the hell should that be a bad thing?

She shrugged. "Their loss. He's a great kid." Villain beamed brightly at her before looking back to the road and pulling smoothly into traffic.

"I knew you'd get along," he said, almost to himself. For some reason, that made Hero blush, and she looked back down to her hands.

Their next stop was a "friend's" house. Hero stopped as soon as the words left Villain's mouth, one foot still in the car, the other on the sidewalk.

"Wait," Hero blurted, "this isn't… Supervillain's house, is it?" Villain barked an incredulous laugh, turning around on the walkway to face her.

"No?" he said, the expensive-looking, two story house looming behind him. "I would never willingly spend time with that square."

This time, Hero barked a laugh. Villain grinned brightly in his movie star way, then motioned for her to follow and continued to the door.

He didn't knock, he just walked right in. "Oh, Misses Norris!" he sang loudly into the entryway, leaving the door wide open for Hero to walk in. She closed it behind them. "Yoohoo!"

"I'm in here!" came a cranky reply. Villain strode off to the right with a little skip in his step, and Hero followed close behind. They came into a pretty living room — all of the walls and carpet and tabletops were white, and the chairs and flowers were all dark blue. A little, old woman was sitting opposite a large TV, knitting something, and the look she threw Villain as he walked in with wide arms was distinctly annoyed.

But the look she threw Hero was downright dangerous.

"Who's 'at?" Misses Norris demanded, shooting Villain a suspicious look.

"Who?" he said too dismissively to be innocent. He looked up and around and then at Hero as if he hadn't been sure she was even in the room. "Oh, Ro?" he said, looking down and waving dismissively at Misses Norris. He was wearing that movie star smile again. "She's just my friend. Had nothing better to do today."

Hero could have scoffed. But Misses Norris was making her too nervous, so she just waved shyly. The old lady looked her over with sharp, judgmental eyes.

"What do you do for a living, Ro?" Norris demanded.

"I'm a civil servant," Hero replied instantly. Norris scoffed, then looked down to resume her knitting. Something about it made Hero shrivel a little.

"So you're a government slave?"

"N-no—"

"Basically," Villain interrupted. Hero looked at him, betrayed and uneasy, and he patted Norris on the shoulder. "I was hoping to get her to change her career to hospice care."

Hero almost choked.

"I'm not dying yet, you little shit!" Norris barked, and Villain tried to dance out of the way but still got a punishing smack on the ass. Hero put a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. Villain was laughing.

"Ro, would you mind making us some turkey sandwiches?" Villain asked, all smiles as he put a hand once more on Norris' shoulder. Hero just nodded, glad for the excuse to leave Misses Norris' sight.

Thankfully, the kitchen wasn't very hard to find. It was big and clean, and Hero got the distinct impression this was far too much house for Norris to keep up on her own. Either way, the fridge was tidy and the kitchen well-organized, and Hero set about using the blessedly narrow range of options to put together three sandwiches. She was just putting the last one together when she nearly had a heart attack.

"Are you trying to get into Villy's pants?"

Hero jumped and almost didn't catch the butter knife, then put a hand on her chest. She looked to Misses Norris, panting. Norris didn't seem the least bit remorseful, just raised her eyebrows from the kitchen entrance as if to say, "Answer the damn question."

"I think it's kind of the other way around," Hero blurted. Norris snorted.

"Villy? Nah. He wouldn't know what to do with a woman if she was spread out in front of him."

Holy shit, this woman had no filter.

"Uh—" Hero looked down at the sandwiches, then the knife in her hand. "Well, I-I promise I'm not trying to seduce him." She rinsed the knife off in the sink, but she could still feel Norris' eyes on her back.

"Good," she grunted. "Because he's a good boy, and he doesn't need to be pulled around by some harlot."

Hero paused. Then she turned off the water. She didn't turn to Norris, not yet. She wanted to make really sure she had heard that correctly.

On the one hand, this lady was being very rude. Downright mean. Hero hadn't asked to come into this house, but she was being set upon. And where the hell was Villain right now? Hero hadn't done anything to this lady except make her a sandwich.

On the other hand, this woman was just about the right age to have chronic, low-grade lead poisoning. Irritability and difficulty opening up to new ideas were some of the most common symptoms.

Hero turned her head. If she thought about it, Norris was just worried about Villain. Thinking about it twice, Norris had probably walked in here to give her a shovel talk. So what did Norris want to hear? Would she believe it if Hero said she wasn't interested? Would she be put off if Hero tried to act sweetly?

People give the kind of love they want to receive. And Norris had cursed at Villain and smacked him before coming in here to threaten Hero should she hurt him.

"You're right," Hero said, turning and leaning back against the sink, crossing her arms. Her heart was pounding like she was walking into a fight. "He deserves to be taken care of." Hero looked straight into Norris' eyes. "And if he's being mistreated, I will do something about it."

Norris waited a moment, then narrowed her eyes at Hero. Hero held eye contact, the butter knife glinting in her hand. Norris turned her head, parting her lips as if to speak, then paused again.

"Are you… threatening me?" Norris challenged. Hero gave her best impression of a nonchalant shrug.

"Are you hurting him?"

"Of course not!" Norris barked.

"Well then, there you go."

Norris stared at Hero, but it wasn't a glare anymore. Hero tried not to grit her teeth too hard, but nervous energy was welling up in her throat like it was dammed. Norris gave Hero another once-over, more assessing now than judgmental.

Norris looked Hero in the eye, then turned and left. Hero counted to ten before sighing in relief and putting a hand to her forehead.

Norris kept watching Hero while they all ate lunch. She sat close to Villain, fussing about the way he ate and then trying to bait him into saying how much he needed her around. Hero would have been put off by such behavior normally, but there was something… playful about it. Like Norris was just trying to get him to say something he'd sworn not to so she could laugh and call him out on it. But Villain was too smart for that sort of thing, and he cleverly dodged her verbal strikes.

Hero watched Villain as he smiled at Misses Norris and pulled the crust off of his sandwich. He smiled a lot, she was noticing. She'd seen it in the field, but it was always his movie star smile or his wry smirk. She liked the goofy smile. It… made him really handsome.

She carefully raised her sandwich and took a bite.

By the time they left Norris' house, it was getting dark. Villain kissed her on the crown of her head before stepping off of the porch.

"Come back before Hell freezes over, would ya?" Norris called as Hero and Villain walked to the car. Villain laughed and called over his shoulder:

"I'll see what I can pencil in!"

Hero hid her smile, and they climbed in. Villain let out a long sigh. He looked a little drained, and Hero picked the first joke that came to mind.

"Taking me to see your mom on a first date?" she ventured warily, buckling her seatbelt. Villain barked a laugh.

"Think of Misses Norris more like…." He put a tongue into his cheek and rolled his head thoughtfully. "A long-lost lover."

Hero balked for a moment. Norris was… delicate. She moved slowly and her right hand trembled and not all of her fingers were straight. Hero suddenly couldn't help but wonder if Norris and Villain were still… active. Oh, God, suddenly she was picturing Villain naked!

Stop! Stop, oh, jeez!

Villain laughed at her as she put her hands on her face. How did he make her so nervous? Nobody else in her life had this effect on her.

"If she's your lover, you're obviously not doing a good job," Hero moaned as if the words were being dragged out of her. Villain's laughing stuttered to a stop.

"What?" he asked, a smile in his voice.

"She's so cranky!" Hero cried, looking to Villain with probably the loudest blush she'd ever worn in her life. Villain howled with laughter, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to the steering wheel, and Hero covered her face again to hide her own laughter.

The next stop was supposed to be the last. They went back into town, and Hero admired the lights as Villain drove. The sky was still darkening, but all of the signs and street lamps were on and ready for the night.

Villain pulled into what was apparently a popular restaurant. The parking lot was pretty full, so they took a spot further away from the building.

Hero was getting nervous again. It hit her again that she was on a date. With Villain. This was definitely going into her file. What even was the punishment for dating the enemy? She didn't want to lose this job. She wanted to be where she could help people. And there wasn't exactly a surplus of hero agencies around.

"What's on your mind?" Villain asked. Hero looked up to see him watching her face. His expression was so soft. She admired the gentle part of his lips for a moment before looking down.

"I just… don't want to get in trouble," she admitted. It sounded stupid to say out loud. Like she was twelve years old and worried her parents would ground her. Villain took a deep breath and looked to the building as they continued towards it.

"I really meant it when I said you're too good for them," he uttered. Hero played with her hands. He didn't get it. Most villains were basically freelancers, and there was no central body for them to answer to. They didn't need to be organized to do what they wanted. But Hero did. She couldn't get situation reports on unfolding trouble from a news channel. She couldn't get from one end of town to the other in ten minutes in her own car.

Villain bumped her elbow softly.

"Why do you work for them?" he asked. She sighed and examined the lines on her palms.

"I don't know how else to help people," she whispered. There was nothing else for a hero to do except sign onto the agency.

Although, it wasn't exactly like she was a good hero.

"You helped Milly," Villain offered. Hero blinked. She… supposed. Milly did look happy, at least. And he'd asked if she was coming back. "And Misses Norris sure liked you," Villain went on. "I figured she would; you're whip-smart."

There it was again. Hero frowned, looking away. She really wished he'd stop —

An old sedan jumped the curb next to them, headlights gnashing, engine roaring.

They couldn't get out of the way in time.

"Look out!" Hero screamed, grabbing Villain.

The car struck Hero's outstretched palm, metal twisting as she adjusted her stance to let the car continue across her right side in a tight arc. She twisted, holding onto the grill as something broke, letting the car turn until it was on Hero's other side, facing the sidewalk it had just screamed over, bouncing on its wheels as the radiator bled onto the pavement.

Hero panted, shaking, staring with wide eyes at the now motionless car. The grill was practically ripped apart and one of the front wheels was twisted. She'd probably totaled it.

She looked back at her other hand where she was holding onto Villain by the shirt. She had his sweater balled up in her fist, and he was holding onto her wrist with both hands, eyes wide. He was trembling all over, breathing shallowly. He looked away from the car to Hero, and she noticed for the first time that his eyes were a dark brown.

She let go of him carefully, then dug out her phone. He was panting, and his shaking was getting worse.

"I could've died," he breathed.

"Shh, Villain, listen to me," Hero said, using her hero voice. She put a hand on his face and flashed the phone's flashlight into his eyes in a practiced motion. "You need to sit down and focus on your breathing," she commanded, noting his eyes were dilating normally. They were a rich color, like fudge, but a bit lighter towards the pupil. He turned them to her, and they dilated slightly.

"You just saved my life," he breathed. She put her phone away and didn't bother to mention that he was only here because of her.

"Sit down, focus on deep, long breaths; I have to check on the driver." Villain nodded, watching her face, and she let go of him and hurried to the car.

There was only one person inside. He looked to be older, and he was leaning hard on his right side. He turned his head slightly when Hero came to the window, and she noticed right away his expression was completely lop-sided.

She grabbed the door handle and pulled, but it didn't open. She braced her feet and grabbed with both hands, but it still wouldn't yield.

Shit, what was more expensive, the hinge or the window?

She reached over and gripped the door, pulling and crushing the metal in her hand to get access to the hinge. She forced her hand in, wincing at the loud, awful noises the metal was making, and crushed and tore the door hinge until the whole thing suddenly sagged. She gripped the door and removed it from the latch, then laid it carefully aside to avoid any further damage.

She reached in and flashed her light in the man's eyes.

"Hello, sir, do you know where you are?" she asked commandingly, careful not to move his head. His right pupil was blown and didn't respond to the light. "Sir, can you tell me your name?"

He swallowed and went to speak, but no coherent sounds came out.

Hero was already dialing emergency police.

"Sir, sit still and don't move your head, okay?" Hero commanded. He stared at her, swallowing again as the line was picked up.

Hero calmly and quickly relayed the important details of the situation to the dispatcher. She carefully pulled out the man's wallet and searched for any information about his health, monitoring him for any signs that he was getting worse.

Once the man's condition was communicated, she checked on Villain again and determined that he didn't need an ambulance. She didn't really want him on the scene when the paramedics arrived if she could help it, so she suggested he hide somewhere. He muttered something about grabbing them a table and then went inside.

It took forty five minutes to clear the scene, and all the while Hero was anxiously glancing at the restaurant. What if Villain wasn't okay? What if she missed something and he was just sitting there, going into the next stage of shock? She kept waiting to hear another ambulance, to see another set of emergency lights coming towards them. But she gave her statement to the police, and when they dismissed her, she hurried into the building and was shown to the booth where Villain was looking into a glass of wine. He looked up suddenly when she started to sit.

"I am so sorry," Hero blurted, smoothing her skirt. "Are you okay? Are you dizzy or light-headed at all?"

Villain stared at her, and it made her worry. Normally he might have smiled and tried to make a joke.

"I'm okay," he said with a slight nod. She nodded, too, leaning forward over the table. Villain looked down at his glass, swirling it softly. Then, much to Hero's relief, he cracked a smile.

"So," he uttered, looking up at her through dark lashes. She felt a slight blush warm her face, but didn't look away, the trickle of adrenalin still in her veins making her brave. "How about that second date?"

She was too shocked to laugh. He sipped his wine, one hand wrapped delicately around the glass while the other stayed flat on the table.

He really wanted to do this again? They'd barely had any time alone together all day. And she was sure the near-death experience would have warded him off of her. She realized she was expecting him to call this date off, expecting him to be mad he had to wait after nearly getting flattened, expected him to say, "You know what, I think you're just too much trouble," and leave.

She stared at him. There was no way he'd really had a good time today. He was still pale even now, and his fingers were still shaking when he wasn't hiding it.

"You… still want to go out again?" He gave her his movie star smile.

"Never stopped," he said. Hero looked down at her hands. She wasn't exactly sold on the idea of fraternizing. He was the enemy, and if the agency found out, she'd be toast.

But… she'd felt more helpful today than she had in a long time. Sure, Milly wasn't in any kind of trouble, but he was engaging, and knowing he normally couldn't do that made Hero's heart swell. Sure, Norris was cantankerous and rude, but Hero could tell she really appreciated having company. And the crash had been awful, but Hero was proud of the quick and effective way she handled the situation.

She met Villain's gaze. He was relaxing again now that she was here. Because she was here. Realizing that made her chest warm up. He wasn't a regular citizen, no, but… she was starting to finally feel wanted by spending time with him.

And maybe it was selfish of her to pick that over the moral high ground. But as she played with the roll of silverware in front of her, she decided that she maybe deserved to get something she wanted. Because it wasn't like breaking agency rules meant she couldn't help people, evidently enough.

"A second date sounds great."

[notetaker-neurosis]

This has been in my head for days. Take the sketch and GO

[eloise175]

Headcanon: love languages

How Callisto and Penelope are disgustingly in love and decide to make it everyone’s problem. Their specialty is being smitten with each other no matter how much time has passed since they got together—sometimes it’s too much for the eyes of other people, cavity-inducing sight right there from too much sweetness.

➺ Physical touch:

Simply put, it’s reassuring. They always reach for the other, both as a sense of security and comfort. Hugs are very frequent and last for a good couple of minutes because neither of them wants to separate first, or at all.

When Callisto is stressed or is about to lose his temper, Penelope places a hand on his shoulder or seeks his own out. It helps him calm down and gather his thoughts.

Kisses are the best, Callisto can never get enough, and Penelope gets all warm and fuzzy inside when he gives her all the little soft kisses.

Callisto always has his arm wrapped around Penelope or holds her hand, it makes him feel good—it improves his day too (the palace staff will forever be grateful).

He’s very clingy, so much so that even during summer when it’s very hot, Callisto gathers her all to him even when she tells him that it’s too hot for cuddles, he doesn’t care that they’re both actively sweating waterfalls during nighttime as well. Penelope tries to roll away but ultimately fails to escape her husband’s clinginess.

➺ Words of affirmation:

Between the two of them, Callisto is the most vocal when it comes to expressing his affection through words, however with time Penelope learns too.

A reoccurring thing between them is that they tell each other the first thing that goes through their head, keywords bluntness and honesty.

Penelope could be staring at Callisto for a good five minutes and when he inquires about it, she just blurts out “you’re beautiful” or “I love you” which inevitably stuns him momentarily; it’s the same the other way around only that Penelope sees it coming since he does it pretty often, but inevitably she still gets all flustered.

➺ Acts of service:

This speaks for itself. Callisto would do anything for her and although he doesn’t expect anything back from her, Penny would still do them and he gets very happy when that happens.

The most frequent instance is him carrying her around despite her protesting against it. Penelope won’t admit it out loud but she enjoys being carried like that. Callisto knows and doesn’t miss any chance to tease her for it.

Massages could be classified as another act of service, especially after a long day. When he’s tired, Penny helps him take baths and is the one that washes his hair, he enjoys it a lot because her touch is relaxing.

Meanwhile, Callisto just wants to take care of his wife and often shoos the maids away because of it. It leads to him learning Penelope’s routine for skincare and whatnot. Later on to her insistence, they both end up having facem masks together to his amusement.

➺ Gift giving:

Having held off from splurging for most of his life, finally Callisto has something that he’d gladly spend his money on—or rather someone.

To him, Penelope deserves nothing but the best so he doesn’t think twice about getting her anything and everything she wants.

He tends to buy every little thing that reminds him of her, later offering them to Penelope as gifts—even if it lands him a scolding. She thinks he goes too overboard, but Callisto just wants to see her happy and shower her with riches and pretty things like her.

When they go out, if her eyes happen to linger on an object for longer than 5 seconds, it’s as good as sold in his books and you best believe he will get it for her, despite her protests.

Years later, Penelope is still salty over that handkerchief incident (even if she won’t ever admit it), so she embroiders plenty of handkerchiefs for him, and Callisto is always carrying at least one with him, proudly so. The others end up in the drawers of his office desk or easily reachable spots in places he spends the most time, so he never has to go without one.

Penelope also has some jewelry pieces made, thanks to her mines and assets which she turns into a business; due to this, Callisto is always seen wearing a brooch, cufflinks and earrings that are quite unique, expensive and of high quality. He’s very proud of those and likes to show off the gifts his wife got him, he can often be found bragging about said gifts in front of his vassals and soldiers—anyone really, even during events.

No one is spared from the Emperor’s endless gushing and words of adulation for his Empress and her thoughtfulness.

[isabeauwolf]

Oh no, they made Monsterhaul very fruity 🤭💚💜🐦‍⬛

Strawberry Kiwi 🥝🍓 tastes pretty good

@chisvki @fanofflames @togeandmegumilover @slayfics @x-kiwi-03 @xxchisakislittleangelxx @staitc-rj @chainslobber

I'm sorry, y'all I couldn't help it! I can't look at a can of Arizona tea without thinking of our birdman now! I need to share it! It ain't just me, is it?

Please tell me I'm not alone? 🙏

[thecryptidart1st]

idk how I went from watching the Shred Force pilot to making my own OC where they’re an immortal star being with a intergalactic world conquering father who adores them, but all i do know is that it haunted me all day yesterday at work

[greatdecaygreatrenewal]

there’s only a few villain deku stuff i like but for the most part im glad the fandom left that in 2020 before i even joined cus there’s NO WAY deku would b a suave mf if he was a villain 😭😭😭

[menuliso]

i was TIRED of seeing all these suit-wearing, evil, unsilly villain izukus. i needed to see an adequately silly villain izuku, so i drew him in all his t-shirt wearing, dorky honour.

what a madlad.

[fallow-grove]

still thinking about brennan lee mulligan's "evil is boring" quote as applied to cartoon villains. because he's right. in this story he's right many times over. evil is boring and lonely and miserable. what's interesting is the things that get in the way

[xo-yucky-femcel-bunny-xo]

love dano!riddler obviously but you know who i was infatuated with from the ages of like 13-17? the riddler from the arkham games.

this man is so smug nasty to this day i have every riddle answer/trophy location memorized because i wanted him to yell at me :3

[bards-anonymous]

Lady Arkham

Dr. Jacklyn Faraday circa 1998. The year she started working in Arkham.

[ghostofsoup]

This is a bit random and not intended as an oc plug I SWEAR but when I watched epithet erased for the second time, I was super stuck with one of my ocs but fell so in love with giovanni's character to the point that, for I think the only time ever in my life, I straight up stole another fictional character's personality and just GAVE it to my oc and my partner and I still joke that they're literally the same character other than genre and the fact that the people in my oc's world are so stupid-naive that he's actually extremely competent lmfao. Giovanni potage but competent and an elf. can you imagine. well i can. i made it real

[faytelumos]

Oh Faaaaaaaayyyyyytttteee!!!!

I'm your "Know Thy Enemy"-Nonny and I'm so... SO sorry I didn't think of just using the ask inbox again!

I'm so grateful for those wonderful parts you wrote (not just one, but TWO!!!)

Villain and Hero are both so on POINT! Especially Villain...I literally want one for myself xD

They're so sweet together T~T

The whole date was so light-hearted and engaging, wholesome even, I can't wait to read what happens next!

I admire how you write dialogue and how you arrange the nonverbal character interactions in-between. Lovely!

Thank you so so much again for answering this ask in the first place and keep up your great work - I'll be observing from close by :D

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I wanna thank you for your hand in creating these two; they're so much fun.

Thank you for the kind words! >///< I really appreciate it!

[isabeauwolf]

Cuz of the meme I showed him of Overhaul's alternative costume, my husband got me a Arizona tea and said, "here honey, here's your monster bird." He had the biggest shit eating grin on his face as he tried not to laugh.

@togeandmegumilover @fanofflames @slayfics @chainslobber @kaichisaki-rp @x-kiwi-03 @xxchisakislittleangelxx

[pizzamasternamelesslang-blog]

I personally headcanon that because Otoishi is confirmed to be a Rohan fanboy, one of the things he wants to do with his music career is to perform the opening song for if Pink Dark Boy ever became an anime.

[technicolorxsn]

thinking abt how the fancy meat computer riff is in bolt thrower again,,

[zylev-blog]

Villain Fenton au 3

Danny is the son of the two biggest supervillains in the world. He has weekly get togethers with the legion of doom, and those villains came to every single one of his birthday parties growing up.

Needless to say, Danny has no friends his own age. To remedy this, he creates a persona: James Nightingale: normal high schooler.

Now, his parents and extended villain family all know this. How could they not? He learned all his tricks from them, after all. But they let him have his fun. After all, every villain needed a secret identity.

But now Danny has a new problem. He’s pretty sure that Lex’s clone son, Kon-El, has a secret identity and goes to his school. He can’t prove it, but he’s positive that the teen boy is the same. Conner Kent is an oddity, but he speaks with the same tone of voice as Lex, and has his smile and eye color. But he has those dorky glasses that Danny’s pretty sure he doesn’t need.

Danny’s first goal to being a normal teenager is to befriend Conner Kent.