#ear crack

[zivazivc]

this came to me in a dream

Floyd's emo ass and a techno troll could make scene kids...! Do you see my vision??? . . . Ravin is Happy Hardcore and Eddy M is Synth-Pop, that's how troll genetics work, right?

anyway...

i don't think floyd leads a proud life

[egophiliac]

I love how you draw Grim the size of a small cat. It genuinely blows my mind that according to the game he's actually approximately 70 cm tall... Like, Ortho is 148 cm. That's only two Grims! If Grim stands on Ortho's head, they'd be just a bit taller than Malleus (who is 202 cm and I'm not sure that's counting the horns)! The proportions are just so wild to try to imagine realistically... (and I do like the small cat Grim take more, it's very endearing)

every time I remember Grim is actually supposed to be the size of, like, a medium-to-largeish dog, and then I just...draw him cat-sized anyway. I also think it's cuter that way! 🤷 (let's just say he's not allowed to ride the servant unless he takes the shrinking potion first.)

ultimately I figure we all get a little artistic license in our fanart, and mine are:

cat-sized Grim

Lilia with hair spikes up to the heavens

w i d e Silver

[dynamicsimp]

CW: Heavy Gore, Pink Blood and Suggestive

Backshot AU.

Yes- Uhm- Don't mind the name-

The context behind this is when I was explaining to my friend about Headshot AU, They out of nowhere said "Backshot" and my dumbass brain was still on the topic of Headshot AU so I got confused like- "WUKONG GOT SHOT IN THE BACK-??" And they yelled "NO- ITS A DEVIL'S TANGO ACTIVITY WHAT-???"

And that's how the AU came to be-

I might make a video for this because it's actually so dope-

[crybabycunt]

Kate: Natasha, I'd like to ask your permission to date your sister.

Natasha: What is this, the dark ages? You know what? Since you've asked, no, you can't. Fight me first.

Kate: (putting her hair into a ponytail) Let's do this.

[hwashitape]

obsessed with the idea that people will seek audience with Laios and he's just:

[dizzybizz]

😀 i love setting out to draw 1 character multiple times but ending up drawing multiple characters 1 time instead 😀 i love it so much 😀

[maraudersoncrack1981]

Peter "scared of all bugs" Pettigrew

Sirius "terrified of spiders" black

James "watched a Segal eat a mouse and has been terrified of them since" potter

Remus "I grew up at St. Edmunds and sold cigarettes to buy my friends Christmas presents" lupin.

*in the dorm*

Sirius: *shreaks*

Remus *looking up from his book*: what's wrong with you?

Sirius: moony there's a monster on the wall get rid of it

Remus: Sirius its just a money spider

Sirius: exactly a beast from hell kill it please

Remus *rolling his eyes*: fine

*Hogsmede*

James: nope, no, no, no, im leaving

Remus: James its just a Segal it won't kill you

James: how do you know that

*Gryffindor common room*

James: common Peter, its nice out why won't you go outside

Peter: bugs, James, bugs

Remus *grabbing Peter by the wrist and dragging him out the common room*: stop being a wuss, if im going outside you are aswell

*outside*

*butterfly goes past peter*

Peter: AHH NO!! *waving at the butterfly to get it to go away* LEAVE ME BE!!!

Remus: it's just a butterfly Peter

Peter: im going back inside

Sirius: why?

Peter *already walking back towards the castle full speed*: BUGS!

[aerkame]

Prwincess Wookong & The Dark Prince Macaroni

Everyone is having a great princess tea party until things go rogue. Hopefully you can save the day. (Slight Wukong and Macaque x reader)

A pile of books fell to the floor as a heeled shoe stomped onto the table. "As your princess, I demand a fair trial-no-I ORDER you to give me a fair trial!" Princess Wukong brushed down his messy fur with his hand, it was a mess from lack of care, all of these responsibilities as a princess really wore him down.

Placing his teacup down in confusion, MK spoke "I haven't even said anyth-" "Ah bup bup. Not a word from you traitor!" Wukong held his tail to MK's lips to keep him from speaking. "I trusted you as my loyal lady in waiting and here you are, framing me for the murder of my own scholar!" He pointed to a now 'dead' Tang who was lying on the floor slurping away at noodles. "I simply can not stand this heartbreak!" He fell to his knees dramatically, bringing his hands together in the shape of an imaginary knife as he hit his chest with it before falling off the table, bringing everything else with him down to the floor. Pigsy sighed, leaning further into the couch. They were going to have to clean that up later. He looked down at the small child they were babysitting, at least she was entertained enough to stay still and quiet.

Reflexively looking over to you, Wukong gave a wink before continuing his over-the-top acting.

"If...if only there was some brave and noble knight that could take me away from this terrible situation." He brought his hand to his forehead in a woeful display.

Laughter filled the living room as the little girl kicked her feet happily while you had to stop yourself from giggling to stay 'in character'. You stride over to kneel at Princess Wukong's side, holding his hand. "I am here my princess." You smiled down at him, giving the most heartfelt look you could muster. Beaming up at you he continued "Oh my, I must have been blessed by heaven itself to have such a beautiful knight at my side! Please fair knight, take me away from this situation!" You were about to answer when another presence made itself known.

Falling through a shadow behind you, The Dark Prince, Macaroni made himself known. "Not so fast my sweet knight." Your face grew hot as hands were upon your waist within seconds, pulling you away from the princess who was now fuming. "I, Dark Prince...Macaroni...can not let you ruin my plans!" Macaque didn't like the name, but everyone agreed to just go along with what the kid wanted. He twirled your body around to face the kid on the couch "Prepare yourself, for you must face my terrifying dragon if you want to save your princess!" Before anyone could say anything, a green dragon popped out from behind the couch to attack you, pelting you with it's deadly pillow breath, it's cardboard tail flailing around as it moved.

Observing the knight and dragon fighting, Macaque let the smallest of smiles grace his lips... which promptly disappeared when Princess Wukong gave him a small push with his tail, having gotten off the floor to stand near him.

"Oh. Hey 'Prwincess Wookong." Mimicking the way the kid talked, the dark-haired monkey gave a push back, ignoring the small glare aimed at him. Silence fell between the two as the rogue tea party continued on in the background. "I thought I made my intentions clear the other day." Wukong was first to break the silence. "And I never agreed to stop my pursuit." Macaque shot back. Stretching a bit as he picked up a stray pillow, he threw it onto the Monkey King's face chuckling...until it was thrown right back at him. "wha-Hey!"

Looking around the couch area, both you and Mei searched for more pillow ammunition but found none. You looked at MK and the others who were now seated by the TV for help, they pointed to the opposite side of the room where your gaze followed. The two celestial monkeys were now having their own pillow fight, wrestling on the floor once either of them ran out of something to throw. A stray pillow managed to knock off Wukong's plastic tiara, leaving the monkey man offended. "How dare you! That was my favorite tiara-" Another pillow nailed him in the face, cutting off his sentence. "That's your only tiara dumba-" Now it was Macaque's turn to be cut off with a pillow to the face, this time by you.

Sitting up, both monkeys calmed down enough to face you. Wukong stood up to embrace you, nuzzling his face into your side. "Oh my dear knight you have to save me from this terrible, evil, man! I simply can not bare to have my feelings tortured like this!" Before you could answer, another more rougher hand grabbed yours, pulling you into a close hug. Kneeling down in front of you, Macaque smirked at the princess's glare. "Sweet knight, you have bested my dragon and landed a daring hit on me. Truly, no one greater or better suited than you exists to stay by my side. So will you do me the honor of becoming my future queen?" The room went silent, Wukong went ape mode.

[l3viat8an]

Ok so Im watching Helluva Boss, and Blitzo fell of the balcony and im just like....

MC: Falls off a balcony with a big ass Grimiore "Sorry I fucked your husband."

Diavolo's Wife: "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DIAVOLO?!"

Dia: "THAT WAS THE SOUND OF A FUCKING DIVORCE"

Demon Brothers around the table: ......

Barbatos: Spills tea

Simeon: Covering Luke's ears

Luv ya, juss a lil thought you knowwww

Helsphsksj lmfaooo Helluva boss is always amazing for ideas!! I just love it nsjsjsj

‘n for once even the demon brothers are speechless-

[noose-lion]

Imagine your homoerotic bestie promising you literal eternity, then probably killing you.

[incorrect-play-it-by-ear]

[f1-stuff]

Can we talk about how Charles' ears are a target of teasing?

[hendolish]

close enough. welcome back art donaldson <3

[kawaii-queen-kaiju]

How did The Doctor regenerate with piercings?

[dorothygale123]

I'd say I'm becoming a nerd, but that ship sailed a long time ago. I guess I'm just expanding my nerdiness to other areas.

Anyway, MORE MYTHOLOGY!

So in Journey to the West, the Buddha explains that there are 4 'spiritual primates' that don't fit into any categories for immortals or types of creatures. Fans of Lego Monkie Kid are likely familiar with 2, the Stone Monkey Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque. The other 2, the Long-armed Gibbon and the Red-Buttocked Baboon are a lot more obscure. They only get a brief mention in JttW because the focus of the chapter they appear in is Macaque, but the idea of a set of super powerful Immortal monkeys is just too fun to pass up, you know? So I've been thunking my thinker.

What if each primate was associated with a different realm (mortal, heavenly, lunar, and underworld) and element? I know the 4 elements (earth, water, wind, fire) are a western idea rooted in alchemy and eastern mythology has 5 elements (earth, water, fire, metal, wood), but there aren't 5 monkeys and this is just a thought experiment and not me trying to force western ideas onto eastern culture.

Got it? Good.

Now, Sun Wukong is very solidly earth because he's, you know, a rock. No surprise there. He was also born in the mortal realm and spent most of his life there, so we'll call him the celestial primate of the mortal realm while we're at it.

The Six-Eared Macaque is another easy one. A lot of LMK fannon associates him with wind, inferring that his heightened hearing has something to do with wind magic. He's also very closely tied to the moon because of the line in "Shadow Play" where he directly compares the Warrior (himself) to the moon. So Macaque is the celestial primate of wind and the Lunar realm.

Now here's where we get a bit more speculative and start using information creatively. There are 2 monkeys, realms, and elements left I want to use, so let's start with the monkeys so everyone has a baseline understanding.

The Long Armed Gibbon (Gibs, from now on) is described as being able to "seize the sun and moon, shorten a thousand mountains, distinguish auspicious from inauspicious, and manipulate planets and stars."

The Red Buttocked Baboon (Babs for short) has "knowledge of yin and yang, understands human affairs, is adept I'd daily life and can avoid death and lengthen its life."

Starting with the realms because they seem easiest to assign, I would give Gibs the Heavenly realm because of its ability to move around celestial objects like the sun, moon, planets, and stars. This leaves the Underworld to Babs, which I think fits nicely because their "knowledge of yin and yang" and "understand[ing] of human affairs" would make them a good assistant to the 10 Kings of the Underworld.

Next comes the 2 remaining elements, water and fire, which are a bit tricky because it could go both ways.

Gibs could be fire because the sun and stars are giant balls of burning plasma, but also water because the sky/heavens are often associated with an ocean or other bodies of water in several different mythologies. For example, in Egyptian mythology, Ra sailed his boat through the sky every day, while in early Abrahamic belief the sky was a huge dome with water on the other side, and rain happened when floodgates were opened to let the water through. In Chinese myth specifically, the Milky Way is often depicted as a river that is sailed through by various deities.

Babs could fit with fire as well because underworlds and hell-adjacent places are often shown to have fires to torment and punish the sinful dead, no surprise there. But there is surprisingly a lot of water symbolism in the realm of the dead as well. For example, some people may be familiar with the Japanese idea of the Sanzu River, very similar in concept to the Greek River Styx, as well as the Chinese Huang Quan/Yellow springs.

Personally I would pair Babs with fire because he has red in his name, making him the celestial primate of fire and the Underworld.

That leaves Gibs to be the celestial primate of water and the Heavenly realm.

I feel pretty good about this, but if anyone else has other ideas I'd love to hear them.

Sh*tpost Masterlist

[alternativeproject]

Move over Roddy I wanna pinch Roman’s cheek too