#eddie diaz whump

[diazsdimples]

Lyrics from Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

When you're all alone I'll reach for you When you're feelin' low I'll be there too

[dangerpronebuddie]

For @badthingshappenbingo

Baby, I'm Never Gonna Leave You 12k

Eddie changed lanes, prepared to head back to the station, when Buck's phone started ringing. "Oh, it's probably Maddie," Buck said, taking his phone from his pocket. "I already told her I'd have to-" he frowned at the screen- "oh?” "What's the matter?" Eddie asked. "Um... You remember that bracelet I bought Taylor?" Buck asked. Unfortunately, Eddie did. That Christmas was memorable... for all the wrong reasons. (Including, but not limited to, the presence of one red headed demon.) "Yeah. Why?" "It's been set off," he said, tilting his head like a confused puppy.

Bad Things Happen Bingo: Distress Call

Read on ao3

[sarahsmi13s]

Bloodstained Sandbags

whumptober day 1 : bloody knuckles

pairing: eddie diaz x reader

characters: eddie diaz, fem!reader, christopher diaz, evan buckley, scott (oc)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, nightmares, panic attacks, crying, blood, disassociation, SA (not in vivid detail, but it is spoken about), language, caretaking, PTSD, resetting a dislocated shoulder, talks of therapy, mentions of underground fighting, please tell me if i missed any

word count: ~5.6k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: healing is draining and you're trying everything you can to stay afloat... can a new workout routine help keep you above water as you support eddie through his trauma while you work through your own?

You really thought that when Eddie started working at the dispatch center, things were going to get better for you. You thought you would sleep better, your nightmares fading away as you always had your protector next to you now. You were safe, no one could hurt you with Eddie at your side.

But it didn’t seem to matter, because you couldn’t close your eyes without being back in that damn break room – the break room you no longer set foot in.

It was like even though you knew you were safe with Eddie… a sick, twisted part of you kept reminding you that Eddie wouldn’t always be there to protect you.

And the thing was, Eddie had no idea. 

No idea that you were struggling. That for months you were feeling sick to your stomach everytime you got up to get ready for work. That you wanted his touch but had a mini panic attack every time he touched you when you weren’t expecting it.

But he had no idea what happened to you either. You were afraid to tell him. Afraid he’d leave you, though logically you knew he would never do that. 

Except there wasn’t a good time to tell him, either. He was having a hard time with his PTSD and you were doing the best you could to help him while also trying to keep yourself above water.

Which is why you started going to the gym… The sweating, the adrenaline, all of it just made you feel stronger.

And that’s where you picked up on learning to fight, you wanted to be ready. Ready to protect yourself or Christopher if the situation presented itself and Eddie wasn’t around.

You sighed as you walked into yours and Eddie’s apartment, your body stiff and sore from your workout. You managed to scrape your knuckles just a little bit too but it wasn’t too noticeable.

You hung your purse up and set your gym bag down. “Eddie? Chris?”

You heard Eddie’s voice come from the kitchen. “We’re in here, Honey!” 

You smiled and walked into the kitchen, seeing them at the table. “How are my boys?” You went over and kissed them both on the head, “I’m sorry if I made you wait, I got really in the zone at the gym and the traffic was a monster.” 

“Oh it’s no problem, I was just getting started on the veggies. Why don’t you go shower and it should be ready by the time you're done,” Eddie said as he stood and kissed the side of your head before returning to cutting the vegetables. 

You nodded at him before ruffling Chris’s hair, “Do you have any homework you need help with?” He nodded, “Yeah, math stuff.” “Alrighty, I’ll help you after dinner, okay?” “Okay.”

Smiling, you kissed his head again before going to take a shower.

Once you went into the bathroom, you were all too ready to peel the sweaty gym clothes off of you.

Your leggings peeled off with a wet sound, and if someone heard it they would have thought that you jumped into the ocean with your clothes on. The collar of your cutout t-shirt was soaked enough that you could ring it out. Your sports bra was practically the same way.

“I went way harder than I thought…” you mumbled to yourself as you dropped your clothes into a pile and checked the temperature of your shower.

Scalding hot, just like you liked it.

You stepped under the water, wincing slightly at the initial bite of the heat on your skin. But as you stood there under the water both the heat and pressure seemed to massage your muscles, allowing you to relax.

The shower was the only way you could get a massage, it was the only place you allowed yourself to feel vulnerable.

And you never went to a masseuse at all because Eddie was enough. But now, after everything that happened, the idea of being pinned under someone with your back exposed and their hands on you like that could send you into a panic attack.

He had tried once after he started his therapy sessions, realizing he had been neglecting you and wanted to help you work out the soreness of your muscles. 

But you were fighting a panic attack the whole time. You had to hold a conversation with him and ask him to not put his full weight on you. He cooperated without question of course and then you sat and chatted about your day.

Though you haven’t let him do it since, fearing that you would be able to hold it together and freak out on him.

Showers were your source of muscle relaxation. So that’s why you stood there, water pressure on pulse and heat turned up to hell.

When you felt satisfied, you turned the temperature down and finished your shower, ending with a cold rinse just to soothe your skin before getting out and getting dressed in a pair of shorts and one of Eddie’s shirts then joining the boys for dinner.

Eddie watched you wash dishes with a smile on his face as he leaned against the fridge.

He had cleaned out the sink, putting plates, bowls, utensils, and cups into the dishwasher while you were helping Chris with homework. But now you were working on pots and pans because they just didn’t fit in the dishwasher with the other things, often needing to be washed separately – and that took too long for your liking.

So after getting Chris settled down in his room, Eddie came back to watch you, wanting to spend alone time with you since you rarely got that lately. 

Not that he was necessarily mad about it, he respected boundaries when and where you set them – no questions asked.

But he was pulled to action when he heard you wince, taking a step and a half to meet you as you turned for a towel.

“What happened?” Eddie asked, holding your hand as you dabbed it dry, wincing as you did so.

You shook your head, not answering him as you took the towel away to blow on the raw skin of your busted knuckles. You had gotten lemon juice and salt on them from cleaning the cutting board you had used this morning, and it hurt like a bitch.

Eddie froze for a second. Where had you gotten bruised and scraped up knuckles from? You hadn’t had those this morning…

In a quick scan, he checked you over for injuries. If you had a bruised cheekbone or black-eye that he somehow missed during dinner. But you were clean, so he could cross fight off the list. 

“Nena… what happened?” 

His voice was gentle as he took the towel away from you and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles. He was worried, because last time he started coming home with busted knuckles he was underground fighting…

But you wouldn’t do that? Would you?

“I was at the gym and I scraped it, not a big deal.”

He nodded and rubbed his thumb gently over it. “Let me finish the dishes.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Eddie was going to finish the dishes, and he wasn’t going to argue.

You sighed and moved out of the way, letting him take over but you didn’t leave and instead wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back. After your day at work and then going so hard at the gym, you need this comfort. The domesticity of it all, the safety of it all.

Over the next few weeks things seemed to be getting a little better. Sure, you were still having nightmares and coming home with slightly bruised knuckles but Eddie’s surprise touches didn’t spook you anymore. You were also considering becoming more intimate with Eddie again as he seemed to be doing better as well and was seeking out the contact again. 

Things were just slowly coming back to normal, well as normal as the could be, but things were getting better

But then something happened at work, and it set all of your progress back.

You were walking to your desk from the supply closet with more file folders, since you were doing some re-organizing and needed new ones, when you bumped into someone.

They caught you before you fell, steadying you with their hands on your waist. Huffing out a surprised laugh, you looked up to thank them but you nearly choked on air when you saw whose hands were on you.

Panic shot through you like lightning and you put distance between you and Scott immediately, not caring if it was rude or not.

“Woah, Y/N, you okay?” He asked, but the smirk pulling at the corner of his lips told you that he knew the answer. 

How could you be okay? After not seeing him that up close for months, then all of a sudden his hands are on you again and you’re back to being the weak little girl you were in the break room that night.

“S-S-Scott, I-I thought you were um late shift?” You stuttered, your eyes looking for escapes to your desk in your periphery. 

He put a hand in his pocket nonchalantly, attempting to lure you into a false sense of security, that that side of his body was safe to escape through – it wasn’t.

“Oh, I am, but I decided to come in on a Saturday. I needed another day on my paycheck since I took a day off this week.” 

You nodded, jaw setting and grinding your back teeth together as you tried to avoid looking at his face. “I see. Well Scott, if you’ll excuse me I need to get… get back to my desk.” You cursed yourself for starting so confident but then losing it as the breath just slowly got pulled from your lungs.

Scott just smirked. He could see the fear in your eyes and the cottonmouth you were getting just being in his presence. He thrived on it, knowing that corporate wasn’t going to follow up on the claim you made to HR and that you weren’t in a great position to quit so you had to stay for just a little longer.

But he just caught you one unlucky night where you had to stay late to finish a project, considering you didn’t work the night hours because you usually needed to be home with Chris because Eddie was working a shift. The one time Buck was off you took advantage of it and stayed late to catch up. 

And you haven’t stayed late since…

“Oh, by all means, don’t let me stop you, I was just on my way to get some coffee.”

You were trying so hard not to clam up and just bolt to your desk and pack up. But you calmly nodded and just squatted down to pick up the folders you dropped.

You hated having your back to him and your hands shook furiously as you collected the pale yellow folders.

“You look like you could use a break, why don’t you join me?” Scott’s voice was right in your ear. It was low and raspy as his hand gripped your shoulder.

Trying your best to just shrug it off, you shook your head. “No, I’m alright. I need to get back to work.”

He clicked his tongue and shook his head, “I insist.” His voice was demanding as his fingers curled around your joint and dug into your collarbone. 

Instantly your arm shot up and pushed him off you. “I said no.”

You scooped up the remaining folders and dignity and went toward your desk. Just to have fingers curled around your wrist and pulling you back into a hard chest. 

“I’m trying to be nice and you’re being a bitch.”

Rolling your lips between your teeth, you tried to yank your wrist away – twisting and pulling at his grip to get him to let go. “You just don’t know how to understand the word ‘no’. I don’t want coffee, I just want to go to my desk.”

You swallowed, finally looking in his eyes, shredding any last dignity you had. “Please Scott… you got what you wanted, just leave me alone… please…”

The canines he bared as he smiled wide made you sick to your stomach, but as he opened his mouth to speak his attention was pulled away and you took that chance to free yourself. You twisted your wrist and pushed the files into his chest before booking it to your desk.

After gathering your things and rushing to your manager’s office, pleading to her with shaky hands as you told her something had happened and you needed to get home to Chris.

She immediately let you leave, not questioning it as you thanked her and ran out to your car.

The drive home was a total blur, taking the turns on auto pilot as you tried not to break down before you were in the safety of your own home and not risking anyone else’s safety.

And when you finally got home, you were booking it to the fridge to get a cold water bottle to maybe shock your system into calming down. But in your haste you missed the fact that Buck and Chris are home, and not out at the aquarium like you thought they were.

Buck had heard you come in and watched you nearly trip over yourself to get to the kitchen, abandoning your purse and keys on the floor.

Chris had seen it too and looked at Buck concerned, having never once seen you like this. “Buck?” Buck ruffled Chris’s hair, “I’ll go see what’s up. You stay here okay?” Chris just nodded and watched Buck get up and go to the kitchen.

Buck went to the kitchen, finding you chugging the cold water as you white knuckled the counter.

“Y/N? You’re home early.”

The way you jumped, hand clenching around the bottle so hard that water shot out of it – it would have been comical had the dilated look in your wide eyes not set off alarm bells in Buck’s head. 

You watched, caught like a deer in headlights, as concern washed over Buck’s face and filled his eyes with pity. Immediately your back was turned to him, shielding your breaking resolve from his helping hand. 

With the blood pounding in your ears, you missed his approach until he was touching you. You jerked again under his touch, weakly muttering out, “P-please don’t touch me.” 

Buck’s heart sank. He had never heard you sound like this before… so broken…

It sent him back to the night Eddie had destroyed your room in a fit of helplessness, how terrified his best friend was. How you sat with Eddie, him now remembering your bruised knuckles encasing Eddie’s in an act of comfort.

“Y/N… what happened? What’s wrong?”

“No-nothing, just-just…”

He tried to turn you and get you to face him, to get a read on your face and figure out what to do. But you yelped and pushed him back, sending his stunned 6’2” frame into the table.

“Buck you need to leave…”

“Y/N-”

“Leave Evan!”

Buck swallowed, trying not to be hurt as he turned on his heel and went to say goodbye to Christopher.

You watched him leave the kitchen, your ears hot and tingling as you looked at the mess you made. You needed to clean it up before Chris came in here and slipped.

Hearing Buck close the front door, you carefully made your way to the laundry room to get a dirty bath towel to clean it up. Your vision tunneled, your ears rang and you felt that sick snag in your chest as the air was stopping half way down your throat.

By the time you get there your legs can barely hold you up as you get to the washer and sink down to the floor. Sobs are wracking your chest and you can only pray Chris can’t hear you.

But your prayers went unanswered, because Chris can hear you and he is scared. 

Your broken sobs and ragged breathing are reminding him of the night Eddie punched those holes in the wall… and the night you came home and took a long shower thinking Chris was asleep and couldn’t hear you crying through the wall.

Chris abandoned the video game in front of him and put himself on a mission to find you. He could follow the sound of your cries to where you were sitting on the cold floor, head between your knees as you tried to breathe regularly.

“Y/N?” He gently called out, hoping you could hear him.

He watched you thread your hands in your hair and pull at the roots, sucking in jagged breaths just for them to be forced out with the next sob.

He didn’t like seeing you like this and he hated that he wasn’t sure how to help. But he knew he had to try.

Chris called out your name again as he approached you, not wanting to scare you and send you further into your panic. You must have recognized his voice because you seemed to calm down just a bit. He sat down on the floor next to you and put his hands on yours on top of your head. 

“You’re safe, it’s okay, Y/N. I’m here.” He recalled the phrases you had repeated to him when he was having trouble after the tsunami. He had to pull from what he was shown, he had barely anything to go off of and he just had to hope that it was enough.

With Chris putting his hands on yours, talking to you gently, you could feel yourself slowly calming down. His hands were so drastically different from the ones that had bruised your skin, that it managed to remind you that you were home and that you were safe.

“Please, Y/N…”

You look up at him slowly, your hands letting go of your hair and holding his hands. “It’s okay, you’re safe.” Chris moved your hands to his face, hoping that it can help to ground you.

Your thumbs immediately began to rub back and forth on his cheeks, him taking deep breaths to help you find a rhythm. “Follow me, Y/N. Just like you tell me…” 

Chris watched the fog clear from your eyes as you began to calm down and lean forward to press a kiss to his head as a thank you before resting your forehead on his. He wrapped his arms around you as best he could and you pulled him into your lap, your head falling to his shoulder.

You sat there for a bit in silence, rubbing Chris’s back as you managed to collect yourself.

“I’m sorry if I scared you, Chris. I didn’t mean to,” you apologized, breaking the silence. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft and gentle as he pulled back a little. You’re nodding immediately, “I’m better now, thank you buddy.” 

“Do I need to call Dad?” 

You shook your head, “No, it’s okay. I’ll be alright.”

He nodded before tilting his head a little, “Why are you mad at Buck? Did he do something bad?” 

Your heart sank. He had heard you yell at Buck, and you hardly ever yelled around Chris – if ever. And now you’ve come home early, yelled at one of your best friends, and had a full blown panic attack with Christopher as a witness.

“Oh Chris… Buck didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have yelled at him. I’m not mad.”

“Why did you yell at him?”

“I was just feeling a lot of things and it was just what happened. I could have handled it better and I will in the future,” you said gently as you pushed some of his curls back.

You sniffled a little bit, “Why don’t you go back to the living room and I’ll make you some lunch after I get changed?” You gave him the best smile you could and kissed his forehead after he nodded.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Eddie had come home around 5:30 to you already finishing up on getting dinner ready. 

“Honey? What are you doing home?”

“Oh, I got the stuff I need to get done early so I decided to just come home,” you said nonchalantly with a shrug. 

He smiled and came up behind you to kiss your cheek before he went to get changed. But as he placed his hand on the small of your back, you jumped. 

Eddie’s brow furrowed, you had never reacted like that to him. But he didn’t get to ask you, because you turned your head and planted a kiss on his lips. “I love you, Eddie.” He smiled softly and kissed your forehead, “I love you too, Y/N.”

You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face into his shoulder, smelling his coffee and whiskey body spray. He hugged you back, albeit a little confused, but he could tell you needed this.

After a few moments, you pulled back, “Go get changed and cleaned up, I’ll have it plated for you by the time you get back.” He nodded and kissed your temple, “Yes ma’am.”

You smiled and pecked his jaw before he went to change.

When he came back, Eddie found you and Chris at the table, his plate made up for him just like you said it would be.

“It looks fantastic, Honey, thank you,” he said, announcing his presence before touching your shoulder and kissing the top of your head. You smiled at him, “Of course, Sweetheart.” He sat down next to you, his hand on your thigh, just resting there as you ate. 

You talked about his day and everything that went on – you having been getting his twitter notifications and just wanted a little more detail.

But when he turned and asked you about your day, you clammed up and just told him it was like any other day, you just skipped the gym today because you wanted to surprise him with dinner. And you left it at that, leaving no more room for conversation about your day.

After dinner you all went to the living room to watch movies before Chris went to bed. It was your weekend routine.

Except tonight you broke routine.

You decided that you wanted to go ahead and go to the gym, just to get a small workout in before you went to bed. So, after you did the dishes you got in your gym clothes and gave Chris a hug and Eddie a quick kiss before leaving.

It had all happened so quickly that Eddie didn’t get a chance to really slow you down and ask you what was up. This behavior was just so off to him that he just wanted an explanation.

And he did… just not from you.

After you lifted weights for God knows how long, you finally went over to the punching bag.

You had been on autopilot the moment you left the house. 

And yeah, you felt bad for just leaving Eddie hanging like that. Giving him no explanation other than you just wanted to. But you had been thrumming since your panic attack, using that energy on deep cleaning and laundry — too on edge to rest or sit still.

You needed an aggressive outlet for all that energy, you had to get to the gym.

So that’s where you’ve been. Lifting weights and running until near collapse. 

Now you were hastily wrapping your hands to take it all out on the punching bag. The poor inanimate object becoming the true outlet of your emotions, taking blow after blow as you wail on it. Your emotions from earlier in the day being released in the form of punches. 

You hated that Scott was able to revert you back to the scared girl you were that night, smothering all the progress you had thought you made.

The swinging sandbag in front of you felt like a wall as you hit it with every you had. Flashes of that night played behind your closed lids as you seemingly lost control.

You could feel his hands on you again, touching you with evil intentions. His hands mocked Eddie, tainted the loving touch of your boyfriend with his greediness. 

Your hips digging into the counter, bruised with the force of Scott pinning you in place. You couldn’t escape, you didn’t know how to escape.

With each moment flashing, each ghostly touch reminding you of what he did to you in the break room, you punched harder — oblivious to the pain shooting up your arm with each solid hit.

You couldn’t stop. You didn’t want to stop. 

You just wanted it all to go away.

And in those moments you didn’t feel the tears running down your cheeks, you were numb. You hadn’t noticed the break in your poorly wrapped tape, which allowed your bare knuckles to meet with the canvas bag.

The tears and dissociation blurred your vision and you were blind to the fact the red spots and streaks covering the rough beige fabric was your own blood.

You had broken the skin on your knuckles, staining the sandbag with your blood as tears stained your cheeks.

But when you land a particularly hard punch and your shoulder pops grotesquely next to your ear do you snap out of it.

“Oh fuck!”

Your curse was picked up by a nearby girl who had come in at the same time as you.

“Oh my goodness! Are you okay?!”

Your head whipped up to look at her and you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. 

You didn’t look good, covered head to toe in red splotches and sweat. You looked down at your knuckles and saw that your tape was practically non-existent and your hand was covered in crimson.

“Ma’am? Are you okay?”

You blinked and looked at the girl. “Yeah… yes yes I’m fine. I just… I need to go home. My boyfriend is probably worried.”

“Are you sure? That crack sounded bad…”

“Thank you for your concern but I’m alright. You have a good night and be safe, please.”

She could only nod as you quickly grabbed your bag and went out to your car.

You knew you’d be driving with just one arm and you really didn’t want to deal with an midnight ER on a Saturday night so you went straight home — knowing that you’d need Eddie.

Eddie sat in the living room, his knee bouncing with nerves as he waited for you to get home.

You hadn’t answered your phone and he was starting to get worried. With his line of work, he was already thinking the worst. Did you get into an accident? Did you get taken? He had his radio on the coffee table listening closely while he waited, hoping that he didn’t hear anything related to you come over the device.

Then he heard it. The front door opening and closing followed by keys in the bowl and a bag hitting the floor.

You were home, so at least there’s that relief.

He looked up and over as you walked by, arm cradling the other as you sniffled.

“Chris was worried about you.”

Eddie watched you tense, but you didn’t turn to face him.

He stood walking over to you. “He told me you had a panic attack when you came home today, you know, after you yelled at Buck to leave. Then you weren’t here when he went to bed. He knows something is wrong, and he’s worried it’s his fault.”

That made you turn, allowing Eddie to see the rush of tears on your face as you still cradled your arm.

“No, God no. This is nowhere near Chris’s fault.” Your voice was thick with emotion as you spoke and the realization dawned on you that you would have to tell Eddie everything.

“Did I do something? Because I thought we talked about things and worked things out. If I did, please tell me… I want to fix it… I can’t lose you…”

“Oh Eddie…”

“Please mi vida…” Eddie’s voice was soft and low as he rubbed your arms.

You covered your mouth, attempting to conceal the sob of pain and regret. But you couldn’t hide the small yelp or your bloody fist.

Concerned, Eddie put his hands on your shoulders, freezing when he felt the slipped ball and socket joint and you sobbed into your hand.

“Sweetheart?”

“Fix it… please, it hurts so bad…”

Eddie nodded and carefully got himself into position, “You ready?” “Just do i- AH!” Mid sentence, Eddie popped your shoulder back into place.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he soothed as you sobbed into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Eddie… I’m so sorry…”

He ran a hand through the hair at the back of your head, “Hey, lets get your hands cleaned up okay? Then we’ll talk, yeah?”

You nodded before stepping back, instinctively wiping your face with the back of your hand — smearing a little blood on your face.

Eddie tensed a little, that was the worst he’s seen your knuckles and it was starting to look suspicious to him. But you had come home the other times with no other injuries so he had no reason to question you about it.

But he could see clearly that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Eddie gently grabbed your hand and took you to the kitchen.

Without a word he sat you on the counter and grabbed the med kit from under the sink. 

You both stayed quiet as he dampened a towel and  cleaned you up, he inspected for tenderness and any signs of trauma to your hands other than the obvious.

Once he was done, you both sat in silence for a moment before you spoke up.

“It’s not what it may look like…”

“Oh yeah? Cause it looks like you’ve been fighting. I've seen the bruises on your knuckles but I don’t say anything because I didn’t want to assume. But after today I don’t know what to think.”

Your eyes fill with tears and you shake your head. “That’s not it, I swear. It’s just…” A weight settled on your chest as you realized this was the moment you would have to tell him and possibly change your relationship forever.

“Honey… please talk to me, I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

And with that the damn was broken and you sobbed into your hands.

Eddie gave you a moment to calm down, comforting you as best he could until you were ready.

Once you were composed, you spilled everything.

From you needing to stay late to you going to the break room for a snack to when Scott walked in and shoved your dignity in the paper shredder.

Eddie was listening intently, his rage rising in his body but he tried not to show it and keep a gentle expression for your sake. 

But hearing you, here and now, sounding so ashamed and scared. Recounting the night in detail. 

And he had been so caught up in the job change that he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t noticed that the love of his life was suffering because he wasn’t there. 

It wasn’t until his son came to him that he noticed something was wrong. 

“Eddie, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry,” you sobbed, clinging onto him. “It didn’t… I didn’t want it, please you have to believe me.”

He felt his heart shatter in his chest. 

You were begging for forgiveness for something that wasn’t your fault. 

“I believe you Sweetheart, I believe you.” 

He pulled back a little, “I-Is this why you’ve been going to the gym?” You nodded, whimpering a little as more tears filled your eyes, “You won’t always be there… and I just… I want to be ready to protect myself or Christopher.”

You held your hand up and flexed it a little, “I saw Scott for the first time since that night today at work, that’s why I had the panic attack. And I needed an outlet, I didn’t know I was bleeding until I dislocated my shoulder.”

Eddie wiped your eyes, “Y/N I’m so sorry I never noticed… I should have been there…” You shake your head, “I didn’t tell you Eddie, you were going through a lot and I didn’t want to add on…”

He frowned a little but kissed your forehead. It made him feel awful that you thought you couldn’t come to him. You were processing something alone while helping him get better and that wasn’t fair. 

“Would you be willing to go to a professional about this? For you and for us? Just so we can learn to get through this together,” he laced your fingers together and kissed your knuckles. 

You nodded and pressed your forehead to his, “I want to try.” You brought in a breath, “I have to quit my job…” 

He hummed and nodded against you, “Please quit, I make enough, we'll be okay. And we can pull from savings if we need to.”

“Thank you.”

Eddie nudged your nose with his, “I love you, so much.” 

You smiled softly and flattened your palm over his heart, “I love you too, Eds. So so much.”

He wrapped you in his arms and just held you there. Planting gentle kisses to your head and whispering little jokes in your ear to make you laugh.

And that’s when you knew that it would all be okay, that it would be better. Maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

As long as you had Eddie, you would be okay.

taglists: @bradleybeachbabe @valmare @fanboyswhore9 @cassiemitchell @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[honestlydarkprincess]

for the prompts: hiding their face in the other's neck

maybe one day

buck x eddie || rated: t || wc: 1.1k

The second Eddie woke up he knew it was going to be a tough day. His head was killing him and he could feel the telltale signs of an oncoming migraine. He pushed himself up and out of bed and tried to get ready. Thankfully it was his day off but he still had to drive Christopher to school.

He stumbled into the bathroom and winced when he turned the lights on. Yeah, today was going to be a bad one. Splashing some cold water on his face, Eddie took a deep breath and rummaged around in the drawer for some Tylenol. He popped a couple pills and washed it down with water from the tap. He just needed to get Christopher to school and then he could come home, make his bedroom dark, and go to sleep. Thankfully he had purchased some black out curtains a while ago when he was working nights, those would come in handy today.

Eddie made it through getting dressed and brushing his teeth but when he walked into the kitchen he was hit by a wave of nausea and he had to hunch over the counter, taking breaths until his stomach stopped rolling.

“Dad?” Christopher said softly, coming up beside him. “Do you have one of your headaches?”

“Yeah,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace. “I’m going to get you to school and then go back to bed. I should be fine by this afternoon.”

Chris hummed, not quite believing him. When Eddie got bad headaches it usually took more than a good nap for it to pass. “I’m going to call Buck.”

“You don’t have to call Buck, I can take you, mijo,” Eddie said, squinting against the light of the kitchen. Why was his house so damn bright?

“Yeah, I’m calling Buck. You only look like that—” Chris gestured at Eddie. “—when your headache is really bad.”

continue on ao3

[waywardnewcomer]

Okay I’m emotional but I didn’t realise how much of a sucker punch the end of season 2 and start of season 3 was for Eddie until now.

First you think your wife is pregnant but she’s just late, and then she asks for a divorce right when you think you have your family back. And then she dies, right infront of you. And then to top it all off your best friend gets crushed by a ladder truck and almost dies.

And at the start of season 3 said best friend starts vomiting blood when you think everything is better. Then you let him take your son for the day and he and your son get lost in a tsunami that you don’t even know about until your friend is staring you in the face telling you he’d lost your kid. Only he didn’t because Chris found his way back to them both.

And then your best friend is cut off by a lawsuit and you get into an illegal fight ring

And that’s just over 6 episodes. God they put him through the wringer.

[alittlehurtwithyourcomfort]

9-1-1 Whumplist (Updated with Each Episode)

Characters: Evan “Buck” Buckley (played by Oliver Stark), Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz (played by Ryan Guzman), Albert Han (played by John Harlan Kim)

Age Rating: TV-14

Show available on Hulu

Genre: First Responder, Drama, Procedural, Found Family, Ensemble, LGBTQ+

(The styling of this whumplist is inspired by @love-me-a-lotta-whump​ who has an amazing blog, go check them out!)

Synopsis: The firefighters of the 118 work with other first responders to save lives in various emergency situations. Throughout this, they must learn to balance their own personal lives with the stressors of the job.

Note: This show is a great combination of drama, humor, and emotion that is definitely worth the watch (though it does require a bit of suspension of disbelief, the emergencies they deal with are WEIRD). The characters have such a great family bond with each other, and their development and interactions are amazing. This show has tons of emotional whump, as well as some great physical whump moments. I highly recommend. There is whump for EVERY main character, and I am not over-exaggerating when I say that.

TW’s: general blood/gore, child abuse and neglect, sexual assault (mild/not shown on screen), PTSD, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, gun violence, depression and mental illness, panic attacks, death, pregnancy/childbirth, domestic abuse, natural disasters, and various other emergency situations that could be potentially triggering. 

(For more detailed trigger warnings, click here)

My word of advice is if you are uncomfortable with a situation/storyline, skip it. Most emergencies/911 calls are not essential to the overall storyline! I’ve had to skip a few myself, they can get pretty gross sometimes. 

List Key:

bold = most whump, best whump, or favorite whump scenes

~~ = scene break

THIS LIST CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES!

________________________________________________________

Character: Evan “Buck” Buckley (played by Oliver Stark) (appears in all seasons)

1x01: upset, stressed

1x02: in shock ~~ crying 

1x03: none

1x04: shoved/pinned against a wall, scared, worried ~~ shocked, worried 

1x05: none

1x06: chokes on bread, unconscious, almost dies, emergency tracheotomy, barely conscious ~~ unconscious in hospital bed, oxygen cannula, concern for him

1x07: scar on his throat

1x08: none

1x09: hit with a bowling ball (comedic)

1x10: sad

2x01: angry ~~ stressed, worried ~~ startled

2x02: stressed, worried

2x03: stressed

2x04-2x05: none

2x06: drugged (comedic)

2x07: emotional

2x08: held at gunpoint, stressed, concern for him

2x09: no appearance

2x10: argued, emotional

2x11: none

2x12: no appearance 

2x13: extremely worried, scared ~~ upset ~~  hugged, crying

2x14: none

2x15: concerned ~~ arrested ~~ concerned

2x16: none

2x17: concerned

2x18: caught in an explosion, bloody face, leg pinned under a fire truck, weak, scared ~~ weak, shaky voice, screaming in pain, concern for him, unconscious ~~ in hospital, cast on his leg, oxygen cannula, scared, upset ~~ on crutches w/cast, upset, crying, worried ~~ on crutches w/cast

3x01: in pain, coughing up blood, passes out ~~ concern for him ~~ in hospital, oxygen cannula, concern for him ~~ extremely upset, crying, argued ~~ (on blood thinners through episode 3x) 

3x02: depressed ~~ caught in a tsunami, scared, almost drowned, gasping for air, yelling, hoarse voice, extremely concerned, cuts on his face, bloody ~~ weak, hugged, scared ~~ extremely concerned, scared, in shock, crying

3x03: still bloody + cuts on his face, extremely concerned, yelling, hoarse voice, weak ~~ exhausted, scared, yelling ~~ crying, choked-up voice, scared, emotional confrontation, crying, in shock, collapses, heavy breathing ~~ still cuts on his face, emotional, worried

3x04: very upset, argued

3x05: frustrated, upset

3x06: frustrated ~~ emotional ~~ cut on his arm, bleeding heavily, shaky voice ~~ at hospital, concern for him, bandaged arm 

3x07: no appearance

3x08: concerned

3x09: stressed, worried 

3x10-3x13: none

3x14: concerned, frustrated

3x15: almost caught in an explosion, screaming, panicking, held back and cradled, hysterical, sobbing ~~ in shock, extremely worried

3x16-3x17: none

3x18: emotional ~~ concern for him ~~ emotional 

4x01-4x02: none

4x03: worried

(9-1-1 Lone Star Crossover: almost hit by a car, extremely concerned)

4x04: stressed, worried ~~ stressed ~~ extremely upset, crying, yelling, sad ~~ shocked, upset 

4x05: shocked, upset ~~ concern for him, upset ~~ trapped in a fire, extremely worried, concern for him ~~ scared, screaming, upset ~~ exhausted, in shock, concern for him 

4x06: concern for him 

4x07-4x08: none

4x09: extremely worried, emotional

4x10-4x12: none

4x13: covered in blood, in shock, almost shot, tackled to the ground 

4x14: pinned to the ground, covered in blood, in shock, yelling, extremely concerned, crying ~~ in shock, blood on his clothes, hands shaking ~~ sobbing, head in hands, hugged ~~ concern for him ~~ talking about breakdown, concern for him ~~ emotional 

5x01: concerned

5x02: concerned

5x03: concerned

5x04: argued, stressed, punched in the face, shocked ~~ black eye, putting ice on his eye

5x05: none

5x06: held at gunpoint, shocked ~~ held at gunpoint, angry, pistol-whipped, blood on his forehead ~~ concerned, stressed ~~ held at gunpoint, stressed, tackled and pinned to the ground, crying out in pain, concern for him, worried ~~ bandage on his forehead, shocked, extremely concerned, heavy breathing

5x07-5x09: none

5x10: shocked, upset

5x11-5x12: none

5x13: shocked, concerned ~~ extremely worried, shocked ~~ concerned

5x14-5x15: concerned/minimal emotional whump

5x16: stressed ~~ extremely worried ~~ concerned 

5x17: shocked, concerned ~~ upset, angry

5x18: worried 

6x01-6x03: none/minimal emotional whump

6x04: almost hit by a car (comedic) 

6x05-6x06: none/minimal emotional whump

6x07: very stressed 

6x08: none

6x09: stressed, concerned 

6x10: argued, stressed ~~ struck by lightning, unconscious, limp, in cardiac arrest, CPR, concern for him

6x11: in cardiac arrest, unconscious, CPR, defibrillator, concern for him ~~ (in dream), in hospital bed, confused, concerned ~~ (in real life) in a coma, ventilator, bandaged, concern for him ~~ (in dream) shocked, upset, collapsed, trouble breathing ~~ (in real life) concern for him, not breathing correctly ~~ (in dream) trouble breathing, confused ~~ (in dream) worried ~~ (in dream) teary-eyed, scared, crying ~~ (in dream) scared, concerned, crying, angry ~~ (in real life) teary-eyed

6x12: tired ~~ exhausted, sleeping ~~ emotional conversation, teary-eyed ~~ emotional conversation, teary-eyed ~~ upset, emotional

6x13: talking about his near-death experience

6x14-6x15: mentions of near death experience

6x16: argued, upset, emotional

6x17: upset

6x18: scared, almost hit by an ambulance, falls on top of an ambulance, bloody face, unconscious ~~ bloody face, groaning in pain, worried ~~ stressed, worried ~~ cuts on his face

7x01: worried, emotional

7x02: worried

7x03: worried

7x04: stressed, jealous, angry, worried

________________________________________________________

Character: Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz (played by Ryan Guzman) (appears starting in season 2)

2x01: stressed

2x02: stressed, concerned

2x03: concerned

2x04-2x05: none

2x06: drugged (comedic)

2x07: emotional, argued, stressed

2x08: none

2x09: no appearance

2x10: emotional, teary-eyed 

2x11: none

2x12: no appearance

2x13: worried

2x14-2x15: none

2x16: no appearance

2x17: emotional ~~ shocked, grieving

2x18: shocked, worried 

3x01: concerned, stressed

3x02: concerned ~~ stressed 

3x03: stressed ~~ extremely worried, shocked, teary-eyed, emotional reunion ~~ concerned

3x04: fought

3x05: fought ~~ argued, emotional

3x06: bruised ~~ argued, emotional 

3x07: no appearance

3x08-3x14: none/minimal emotional whump

3x15: stressed, concern for him, trapped underground, presumed dead ~~ scared, gasping for air (all flashbacks: emotional argument, shot, almost died, recovering, emotional) ~~ bloody face, exhausted, weak voice, pale, half-collapsed, emotional reunion 

3x16-3x17: none

3x18: concerned, stressed

4x01-4x02: none

4x03: concerned

(9-1-1 Lone Star Crossover: concern for him, stressed)

4x04: concerned

4x05: stressed, worried

4x06: concerned

4x07-4x12: none/minimalemotional whump

4x13: shot, collapsed, bleeding out, barely conscious, concern for him

4x14: shot, bleeding out, barely conscious, in pain, concern for him, weak voice, oxygen mask ~~ unconscious in hospital bed ~~ still in hospital, weak voice, concerned ~~ sling on his shoulder, concerned ~~ sling on his shoulder

5x01: panic attack, concern for him ~~ hospital visit, upset

5x02: stressed, concern for him

5x03: exhausted, concern for him

5x04: concerned

5x05: none

5x06: held at gunpoint, angry~~ held at gunpoint, angry~~ concerned, stressed ~~ almost shot, concern for him, stressed

5x07-5x09: general emotional whump/concern for him

5x10: emotional (kind-of) goodbye, concern for him

5x11-5x12: general emotional whump/concern for him

5x13: emotional ~~ PTSD flashback, sobbing, concern for him ~~ crying, emotional

5x14: nightmare (bleeding out, collapsed), concern for him, (he just kinda looks horrible the entire episode)

5x15: none/minimal emotional whump

5x16: stressed ~~ emotional

5x17-5x18: none/minimal emotional whump

6x01-6x06: none

6x07: talking about the tsunami

6x08: emotional, teary-eyed

6x09: stressed

6x10: caught in explosion, rough fall, in shock, screaming, extremely worried

6x11: extremely concerned, teary-eyed ~~ crying, worried ~~ worried

6x12: emotional conversation, concerned

6x13-6x17: none

6x18: trapped, broken ribs, crying out in pain ~~ crying out in pain, grimacing, holding his ribs ~~ in pain, grimacing, holding his ribs ~~ hospital, "refusing medication", "i'm fine"

7x01: stressed

7x02: stressed

7x03: stressed

7x04: sprained ankle, upset

________________________________________________________

Albert Han (played by John Harlan Kim) (appears in some episodes throughout seasons 3-6)

3x11: argued, teary-eyed, emotionally hurt

3x13: none

3x14-3x18: no appearance

4x01: none

4x02: no appearance 

4x03: concerned

4x04: concerned

4x05-4x06: no appearance

4x07-4x08: none

4x09: major car accident, bleeding out, head wound, in pain, weak voice ~~ concern for him, unconscious ~~ unconscious in hospital bed, concern for him ~~ weak voice, in pain, bandaged 

4x10: recovering, lack of coordination, upset and frustrated

4x11-4x13: no appearance

4x14: concerned 

5x01-5x03: no appearance

5x04: none

5x05-5x11: no appearance

5x12-5x13: none

5x14-5x15: no appearance

5x16: almost dies, rescued ~~ emotional

5x17: no appearance

5x18: emotional 

6x01-6x09: no appearance

6x10: argued, stressed

6x11: teary-eyed, worried

6x12-6x18: no appearance

6x11: airing next week!

[smilingbuckley]

when your world is on fire

I posted the fic I've been teasing snippets for the last two days!

Warnings: graphic descriptions of burns

Words: 6,006

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & May Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash

Additional Tags: Major Character Injury, Burns, Hurt Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Near Death Experiences, Explosions, Fire, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, Evan "Buck" Buckley is Christopher Diaz's Parent, Bobby Nash is Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parent, Evan "Buck" Buckley & May Grant are Siblings, Hospitals, Presumed Dead, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Eddie Diaz Whump (9-1-1 TV), POV Evan "Buck" Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Protective Evan "Buck" Buckley, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary

The 118 responds to what should be a normal house fire only to find out that one of their own is stuck inside and believed to be dead. -- “Christopher, it's Bobby,” Bobby answers. “We're on our way, okay? Now, are you safe?” “No,” Christopher says, voice shaking. “There's… so much fire.” Buck snatches the radio out of Bobby’s hand, “Chris, where are you?” “Buck?” His heart breaks as Christopher starts crying. “I think Dad is dead.” His whole body trembles, but he keeps it together for Christopher. Hen's hand is now on his shoulder, grounding him. Glancing outside, he knows they'll be there in 2 minutes. “Are you safe? Are you hurt?” “Dad-” “Chris, I need to know you're okay. I promised Dad that you'll always be my first priority no matter what. So when we arrive, I'll come to you. Where are you?”

[homerforsure]

For the I love you action prompts, if it sparks joy— 24. Shielding their view from something scary. ❤️❤️

Em, my darling! Thank you so much for the prompt. It, um, got away from me a bit. I hope you don't mind but I combined it with my first BTHB prompt also.

Rating: T (language, blood, gun violence/death)

8100 words

Buck wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was extremely susceptible to a well-lit, temptingly-filtered instagram sandwich. He loved trying new things! And really, wasn’t it his job as a member of the Los Angeles community to support new, homegrown businesses? Places that had soul! Places that relied on word of mouth to survive and thrive in the cutthroat food world! 

Eddie pretended to be exasperated by the prices and the cutesy names (Hot Noods! Sugar³, Lettuce Eat), but he was willing to follow Buck wherever the foodfluencers sent them on date night. Which meant that everything that happened was ultimately Buck’s fault. 

“I’m going to marry this sandwich,” he said, slouching down in his chair to make a show of how full his stomach was. “I mean, I always thought it was going to be you, but… you’re not topped with pickled radishes.”

With his mouth full, Eddie shrugged, “Just leaves me free to propose to whatever the hell is in this sauce.” 

“It’ll be a beautiful wedding.” 

“I’m thinking June.” 

“So soon?”

“Well, when you know, you know,” Eddie answered. 

He kicked Buck’s foot under the table, making them both smile, and Buck knew he was thinking about the rapidly approaching late summer day that was circled in red on both of their calendars. 

Tossing his napkin back on his empty plate, Buck stretched his arms over head with an exaggerated groan before settling again and saying, “Do you want to walk down to that ice cream place before we go home?”

Eddie snorted, “You can roll me down to that ice cream place.”

“I’ll rent a bike and you can ride on the handlebars.” 

“Deal.” 

It didn’t matter how many times they did this. From the hundreds of times they went out as friends to that terrible, nerve-wracking first date, to now as new fiances, the one thing that was always the same was how much Buck never wanted the night to end. How much neither of them ever wanted the night to end. 

“I’ll get the check,” Buck said.

“I’m right behind you,” Eddie replied, quickly knocking back the rest of his beer.

Buck picked up their bill and they made their way back up to the front counter to pay. It was a little bit after the dinner rush, but still plenty busy. Wait staff bustled between the tables and joyful conversation almost drowned out the sound of the radio playing overhead. Rather than shout to be heard while they waited in line to pay, Buck and Eddie just stood close to each other, Eddie’s fingertips toying with the front pocket of Buck’s jeans, exchanging smiles that were easy and comfortable and fond. 

Two other men were ahead of them, settling their tab. One was leaning on the counter while the other was looking back out over the restaurant. He made eye contact with Buck and lifted his chin in acknowledgement before his gaze shifted again, flicking to his left where a hallway led to the restrooms and then back again. It was the ceaseless motion of it that unsettled Buck. Not that he didn’t know more than a few people who were prone to hypervigilance in public places. It was just that other people’s anxiety tended to make him anxious and looking at the man in grey and his darting eyes made Buck feel like he should take a quick look over his shoulder, just in case. 

Keep reading on AO3

[justsmilestuffhappens]

Fic search

Hi. Does anyone remember a fic where Eddie has ptsd from fireworks due to his time in the army? Something reminded me of that story today, but now I can't find it anywhere, though. I thought I'd seen it on tumblr and cross posted to ao3, but after searching bookmarks, all I came up with was nothing or similar. It was probably around the 4th of July, so that's what brought it back to mind now ->

In the ficlet*? Eddie and Buck are together already possibly I think, and Christopher wants to watch fireworks but Eddie feels uneasy yet would never deny him anything so they're going to go to the event, Buck ends up buying him ear plugs that are better than nothing but Eddie remarks they're cheap and probably ineffective in his head not out loud. The store clerk thinks they're for the little man, Christopher, but he says he doesn't need them, and Eddie says they're for him. Things get awkward for a second. They leave, and Eddie gets to use them while with his boys and doesn't feel too overwhelmed by the experience coming out of it, okay?

If you or anyone can help, then thank you, but I tried searching for a while.

Update: Found it!

https://www.tumblr.com/cupidmarwani-archive/622767975562395648/cishets-dni-just-because-eddie-cant-enjoy-the?source=share

[satashiiwrites]

Eddie Diaz Ain’t ‘Fraid of No Ghost, Chapter 6

Okay I meant to have this out last night but the boys were not cooperating.  Evidently we’re also adding Eddie whump and hurt/comfort tags. 

Title: Eddie Diaz Ain’t ‘Fraid of No Ghost, Chapter 6

Fandom: 911

pairing: Buddie, Buck/ghost

Fic summary: 

Eddie has long suffered his Abuela’s supersitions and practices. A fallen tortilla doesn’t mean someone’s coming to visit. Tuesdays are not inherently more unlucky because they fall on the thirteenth day of the month. 

After this October, Eddie might have to be more careful about what he does and doesn’t believe. Especially if it’s hurting his best friend and partner. 

Alternatively, Evan “Buck” Buckley’s Haunting. A Buddie Halloween fic for 2022.

Chapter summary: The shift seems to drag on until a fire at the abandoned mansion almost ends in disaster. 

Tags/warnings: buck/ghost is dubcon but not this chapter. Hurt/comfort. Buck and Eddie whump. Ghost!fic, hauntings, vaguely set in season sex six.

Read Chapter Six here on AO3

[renalovestowrite]

You're Not Alone (As Long As My Heart Beats) - Buddie Prompt

I was re-watching season 14 episode 23 of Grey's Anatomy "As Cold As Ice" and thought this would make a good buddie prompt. Could someone write a buddie story where Eddie and Buck are on their way somewhere during a snow/rainstorm and they get in a car accident?

Eddie is unconscious at first and Buck manages to get free in order to call 9-1-1. Service isn't great, so as soon as he is able to get in touch with dispatch (not having time to identify himself or Eddie), he looses his balance and falls down an embankment into freezing waters where he falls unconscious.

Paramedics don't realize Buck was with Eddie, only ever finding Eddie in the car and believing he was the one who called for help before passing out. Hen and Chimney are just leaving the hospital (having dropped off a different patient) when they spot Eddie being brought in.

They grow concerned, rushing after their friend/co-worker. They figure out that Buck was with Eddie (either Eddie mumbled unintelligently or they get in touch with Carla who is watching Christopher at the time, etc?) and rush back to the accident scene.

If someone could write this and tag me in it so that I could read it, I would greatly appreciate it!

[diazsdimples]

Eddie jerked awake to the sound of his bedroom door open, looking around frantically as his flu-addled brain tried to orientate him to time and place.

“Carla?” he asked croakily, blinking as the person in front of him swam into focus, looking far too caucasian, tall and male to be his home health aid.

“Not last I checked” the deep, cocky voice replied.

“Buck? What are you doing here?” Eddie was so congested that his friend’s name came out as “Bug”. He was terribly confused as to why, and how, his best friend was suddenly in his house, not having breathed a word about his illness.

“Bobby called me and then I got a text from Carla. I’ll notice you didn’t bother telling me you’re on death’s door” the bed dipped as Buck sat on the edge of the mattress. “You look disgusting, by the way”.

“Thanks, you’re so kind” Eddie replied, rubbing his nose as it began to prickle, a sneeze building up. Buck leapt out of the way as the force of Eddie’s sneeze rocked him forwards.

“Gross” Buck complained as he wiped a droplet of Eddie’s snot off his forearm, wrinkling his nose.

“Did you just come over to call me names?” Eddie whined as he shimmied under the covers again.

[aceofwhump]

Clips of 9-1-1 6x11 from this sneak peek video

A/N: I made these really quick and it was hard to hear what the dialogue was so I apologize if I got it wrong but hey when the episode airs I'm gonna gif it again anyway lol. I think this episode is actually making me insane. I have gone feral for this whump and I'm not sorry 🤣 I'm never made gifs so fast in my life.

[sarahsmi13s]

Chasing Ghosts

whumptober day 23: begging / forced to watch

pairing: eddie diaz x reader (captain america!au)

characters: eddie diaz, y/n barnes, evan buckley, henrietta wilson (mentioned), chris diaz, christopher (oc from eddie's past)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, superhero au, death, falling, crying, fight scenes, flashbacks, please let me know if I missed any

word count: ~2.3k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

i'm so so sorry for how late this is

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: ghosts haunt everyone, they follow you and they taunt you with things that could have been. they chase you through your own mind... but what will you find if you chase them back?

Eddie slipped his hand into his pockets as he walked through the museum, the Captain America exhibit having been added recently. 

He had just gotten into a heated discussion with Director Grant and needed to take a breather. So he went to the museum to see what his exhibit had to offer.

He looked around and walked past a display with a narrator and stopped to hear what it was saying. 

“Best friends since childhood, Y/N Barnes and Eddie Diaz were inseparable on school yard and battlefield. Barnes was the only Howling Commando to give her life in service of her country. She fought to be by Eddie’s side, not backing down because of her gender.”

Eddie sighed, the memories flooding back as he continued to walk through the exhibit. He made it to the movie room where Christopher, the very friend he named his only son after, had been interviewed after he had gone in the ice.

“Oh Y/N? Yeah, she was a complete fireball. Ambitious, strong, stubborn. Her and Eddie, they… they were a duo. Her death was… it was felt across the entire squadron. But Eddie took it the hardest… Y/N was his best friend. She had fought Eddie about going on the mission, claiming that he needed the best backup the Army could offer and that she was it.” Christopher sighed, “She fought alongside him from beginning to end. She was the best of us.”

Eddie cleared his throat, his emotions and memories getting the better of him.

He remembers the day he lost you, the image burned in his brain. Everything he should’ve done or said spinning like a broken record in his mind…

Eddie wanted to tell you that you were crazy, walking along the top of that moving train. That you were insane from the very beginning when you followed him into the war. But he knows you would have just laughed in his face.

He had watched you go toe to toe with his superior even after you had gotten taken when you snuck onto the front lines with Christopher. Eddie had found you on a lab table, strapped down and confused, but it didn’t surprise him when you attempted to fight alongside him as you escaped together.

You were his friend, his best friend. You had stuck by his side since day one.

Which is why you followed him into the fire without hesitation.

He wondered if you had regretted that in your final moments…

“Hey, Y/N… I know it’s been awhile..” Eddie said as he sat down in front of your headstone. 

He sighed, hanging his head between his knees as he rested his arms on them. The white marble in front of him was the only thing he had left of you, that and the copy of your dog tags he managed to find. The casket in the ground below him was empty because even after the war, your body was never recovered. So he had to take what he could get…

“I’ve never forgotten you… I don’t think it’s possible to forget you, not after everything we went through.” 

He sniffled a little and rubbed his nose. “Chris just turned three, he’s um he’s great. Such a strong kid, doesn’t let anything get in his way,” Eddie chuckled, his voice thick with emotion. “Sound familiar?” He wiped his face, “God.. I miss you so much.” 

Eddie sniffled, reaching into his shirt to pull your tags out and over his head. He sighed and threaded the chain around his fingers, his eyes closing as he brought the indented plate to his lips and held it there as memories played in the darkness behind his lids.

Eddie led the way into the cabin of the train. You were on his six, protecting his back as you both made note of the multitude of weapons that were being transported by Hydra.

The door at the end of the cabin was open and you were both making your way towards it.

Eddie led the way, crossing the threshold to the other car while you made sure you had no surprise guests show up.

Just as you go to cross the threshold yourself both doors slide shut.

Eddie watched the panic fill your eyes, as dread made his stomach drop, before you turned and started to fire your weapon.

“Shit…”

Behind him he heard a high pitched sound and he turned around to see a man wearing one of the weapons.

In a knee jerk reaction, Eddie fired his weapon before rolling out of the way when the other man shot at him.

He stayed behind his cover, peeking up to fire when he could.

Eddie needed to be strategic and careful. He could hear you in your firefight behind him and he needed to get to you to help.

He couldn’t afford to make a mistake.

Eddie waited to hear the high pitched recharging sound before making his move.

Once the ringing filled the cabin, Eddie ran out from behind his cover, using his shield for protection as he charged the man. Before he could take a swing, the man fired again. But he reacted fast and jumped up, grabbing a bar and tucking his feet in. 

After the man fired, Eddie gathered momentum and kicked the man square in the chest, knocking him to the ground. When the man tried to sit up, Eddie quickly struck him with his shield to knock him out.

He could still hear gunshots but he could tell that you had switched from your rifle to your handgun. He had to get to you fast, you didn’t have enough ammunition in your handgun to last much longer if your rifle was empty already.

There was no way to open the door from the inside, so he grabbed the Hydra weapon and fired it at the door – blasting it off its hinges.

Eddie sprinted over and looked in the window. He could see you crouched behind crates, dodging bullets as you tried to fire back.

His stomach felt like it was twenty pounds as he watched your gun lock because it was empty.

Quickly, he checked his own gun before opening the door. 

The movement and sound caught your attention and you looked at Eddie as he held his gun up before tossing it to you as you ditched your useless one.

Once it was secure and you were ready, Eddie charged forward with his shield up and pushed a weapon’s case towards the hiding enemy, putting him in your crosshairs and allowing you to actually shoot him this time.

You both took deep breaths as you walked towards each other.

“I had him on the ropes,” you said as you looked up at Eddie. He chuckled and looked down at you, relieved that you were alright, “I know you did.” You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder, “Whatev-”

You were cut off by a high pitched noise and you watch Eddie’s face drop before he’s pushing you behind him. 

“Get down!”

You drop to the ground as the man fires and the energy is ricocheted off of Eddie's shield, blasting a hole in the side of the train.

The force had knocked Eddie back, leaving you exposed with the shield on the ground. 

When the high pitched noise hit your ears again, you picked up the shield and stood, firing your weapon back.

However, before you could hit him he shot at you and Eddie watched in horror as the force of the energy ball hit the vibranium and sent you flying out of the hole in the side of the train.

He rushed to his shield, picking it up by the strap and launching it at the enemy. 

Wasting no time after that, he ripped his helmet off and ran to the side of the train. “Y/N!”

You were hanging on to a handlebar, your grip coming and going as the train moved and jostled you.

Eddie knew that due to the damage that bar couldn’t hold your weight for very long. So he did the first thing that came to mind. He would come to you.

He stepped out onto the other railing, despite it probably not being able to hold his weight either. But he had to try.

He watched with anxiety as you made attempts to get closer to him, even as the bar groaned under the pressure. “Hang on!” He shouted, just wanting you to stop moving so he could get to you.

Eddie swiftly, but carefully, made his way to you, getting as close as he could before reaching his hand out. “Grab my hand!”

You looked at him, your eyes filled with fear but you trusted him to get you to safety. So, you reached for his hand.

But as you did, the metal groaned and creaked again before finally snapping.

“No!”

Eddie sobbed as he remembered your face as you plummeted into the ravine. You were terrified, falling hundreds of feet down to nothing but snow and rocks. 

And all he could do was watch.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” 

He knew he looked pathetic, sitting there in front of a headstone, sobbing and apologizing to a ghost. 

He looked just as pathetic now as he did when Christopher found him in that bar after he learned your body couldn’t be recovered. 

Eddie had sat there, throwing back whiskey for hours begging God to erase your horrified scream from his memory. He begged to forget the look on your face. He begged to just forget. Even if it was only for a little while. 

“Eddie?” 

Inhaling sharply, Eddie slipped your tags back over his head and wiped his face before standing and facing his friend.

“Is he safe?” 

Buck nodded, “Chris is safe. He’s with Howie and Maddie until this all blows over, he’s safe.” Eddie sniffled and nodded, putting his hands on his hips, “Good, that’s good.” 

“You up for this Eddie?” Buck asked, sensing his friend's nerves. But Eddie nodded immediately, “After SHIELD almost tried to kill us and now we’re bringing Hen into this. We need to finish this.” He straightened up and walked past Buck towards the car. 

“Let’s go catch a ghost.”

Eddie really should have expected this to happen. 

What else would happen when you kidnapped one of the Hydra moles with the most intel other than for Hydra to practically put a bounty on your head? 

Now the mole was dead and Eddie, Buck, and Hen were all fighting to survive against Hydra and their secret weapon.

Eddie had caught up with her when she was aiming towards where Buck had been hiding after she shot him in the shoulder. 

He flanked her right, running towards her, shield up and ready to hit her. She was faster and reared back to punch him, but he had his shield up and her metal fist collided with the vibranium. 

She pushed his shield aside and kicked him off the top of the car, immediately shooting at him before rolling off the car.

Eddie took that opportunity to roll out of the way, ducking behind the car as she fired at him.

When the gunshots stopped because she ran out of ammo, he jumped over the car and kicked the gun out of her hand. She spun with the force of the kick, rolling on the ground to put distance between them as she unholstered her handgun and fired at him from a kneeling position.

Eddie ran at her, keeping his shield up until the last second when he moved to bring it down on her. But with his midsection now exposed, she took the opportunity to tackle him, using his own momentum against him to knock him onto his back and knocking the shield off of his arm.

She rolled off of him, using her metal hand to slow down. She pulled her knife out but he was already up and charging at her by the time she was standing. So, she charged at him.

Once they were close enough, she slashed at his midsection and legs in order to shield her own.

But Eddie was a quick learner and he knew that because of the height and size difference she had to stick to his center mass when she was up close or else he would get the upper hand. All he had to do was force her to expose her weak points and to make a mistake.

And he did.

He deflected the shots at his stomach and chest, forcing her to aim for his face.

As he dodged and parried her hands, he saw an opening and swung for her face, hitting her on the cheek. He took the chance and spun to give her a firm kick to the chest, sending her flying back into the side of a van.

Eddie quickly got his shield and charged at her again, hoping to actually land a powerful enough hit. 

But she had shook off her disorientation and waited until he was close enough to roll out of the way. 

However, she was out of ammo, so distance fighting was not an option anymore. She had to get up close and personal. 

She unsheathed her other knife and charged Eddie as he turned around.  

He brought his shield up just in time to deflect her. She tossed the knife to her other hand and slashed lower, forcing Eddie to expose his face and giving her the chance to land a punch. 

Eddie spun with the momentum, switching his shield to his other arm and quickly deflecting the kick flying towards him. He dodged the right handed knife strike and stayed down for the metal handed swing.

Reacting quickly, he grabbed her left wrist and struck her bicep with his shield, denting the metal. He stayed there for a second before removing it and striking her in the face, discombobulating her. He spun, getting his back to hers before he grabbed her by the face and threw her over his shoulder.

She rolled into a standing position when she hit the ground, the mask that was covering her face falling to the pavement.

Eddie stayed crouched, ready incase she turned and charged at him again.

But when she did turn to face him, all of his defenses dropped and he stood up straight as he took deep breaths

“Y/N?”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mamachasesmayhem @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @hangmansgbaby @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233 @malindacath @nyx2021 @chaosofmanyfandoms

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

[honestlydarkprincess]

Sentences Sunday!

i was tagged for inspiration saturday (but work was long so i didn't have the beans) and 7ss by the lovely @monsterrae1, @spotsandsocks, @disasterbuckdiaz, @loserdiaz, @hippolotamus, @giddyupbuck, @wikiangela, @devirnis, @wildlife4life

surprise surprise i'm giving eddie another headache :3 i have chronic headaches so im projecting it onto the blorbos

Eddie wasn’t sure how much time passed while he dozed, but he faintly recalled a ‘bye, dad!’ and the sound of the door shutting. He was in and out of awareness, lost to the pain pounding in his skull, so he was surprised when his bedroom door eased open and Buck stepped through.

“Hey,” Eddie mumbled, a garbled sound. He cleared his throat and tried again, “That was quick.”

“It’s been over an hour, Eds,” Buck explained softly. He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Eddie. “Are you feeling sick? Do I need to take you to the hospital?” He asked, testing Eddie’s forehead with the back of his hand. “You don’t feel like you have a fever.”

Eddie smiled softly at the care and concern in Buck’s eyes. God, he loved him.

tagging: @bigfootsmom, @lovebuck, @housewifebuck, @jeeyuns, @alyxmastershipper, @forthewolves, @911onabc, @eddiediaztho, @transbuck, @gayarthur, @transboybuckley, @cowboydiazes, @cowboy-buddie, @stagefoureddiediaz, @theyarnmaidstale, @princessfbi, @homerforsure, @dollhousejee, @barbiediaz, and @lover-of-mine

[jeeyuns]

the 118 whump: eddie diaz 911 s2 thru 6 -> you've survived the world on your shoulders before