#edited cause I remembered some stuf and also decided to put some of my takes while I was at it

[yelow-heart]

So.

That Census Bureau live huh.

....Let's revise it!

First things first, That was hands down, no questions asked, Osito Bimbo.

How in his reports he was only using lower cap writing, his good sense of humor. The tea and popcorn farm (🥲 Jaiden'd be so proud). So yeah.

And yeah, the Eye guy sequestered the islanders. The moment the cucu weather broadcast of eggisland got glitched, we knew something was up. (On the first days I thought that was the case. But then I started leaning into the theory some folks have, like Bagi, that it was a plan of the Feds to make the islanders long for Quesadilla island and stuff. I think I just fckn forgot about the broadcast and weird way they were called to the train lol)

Also also. Quackity (f on the chat) was kidnapped by ElQ before he could kill Fred. So our boy is prob still out there somewhere, let's not panic. Good to point out how ElQ looked like he wasn't very happy about it. And how he kept saying sorry and that it was for Quackity's own protection. Could it be? Could bitch man ElQuackity be one of the good guys??

Another thing, Feds still have no clue how to deal with "■■■■■". We know from foosh's pov that they had managed to capture them briefly, but eventually it escaped. Btw have we decided on a name yet? Is it going to be Judas? I do, like many things, have a thought for this too: is him a corrupted ":)"? I'll talk more about it on the cut.

Also, code entity captured? That's new, is it CodeFlippa?

Dude, theory time: I don't think the code entity faction is necessarily a goodguy faction. They could be just a rival of the Federation. U know? Like McDonald's and Burger King is. And they could have the same goal as the Fed do, just working for it in a opposite way. Like, Federation is very Order and Perfect coded, and the code people are more on the Chaos and Flaw (glitched entities) route.

As u can see, I have way too many thoughts kkkkk

But ACTUALLY, the thing I wanted to talk about is, Where tf is Cucurucho?

Ok, so for some context for the pals that don't watch Jaiden's pov: Cucurucho was acting pretty weird when he asked for her help. He was erratic and repeating himself many times, clearly upset that Osito had broken the thin line of "perfection" he is tasked to defend. Like dude, he was actively panicking.

But anyways, he chased the guy, captured him and calmed him down and that's when he comes to Jaiden for help.

But ever since that, Cucu hasn't really stopped with the strange behavior. He's always on the edge, only interacting with Islanders to deliver tasks and nothing else, super cold and distant (more then he already is). Always a little distracted. And he's been actively avoiding Jaiden. Like, for real for real. Almost like he's prohibited to see her or something.

He's been distant even with Osito, is what it looks like. And, thinking back a little, I don't really think he has showed up to any Islanders for like, a month or so. Like, The last time we saw him for sure was at the A0 presentation, maybe not even that. Osito got really good at masking ever since Jaiden trained him.

He didn't show up to any of the events on the week leading to purgatory, too. Like, I thought he was the one to send Forever to the Nether, but apparently that was Osito, as we see him on the live asking for forever to give him a feedback.

So my take is that, whatever Cucurucho was cooking ever since the eggs disappeared have finally catched up to him. And I don't think he's safe. He was probably the one leading the operations to stop Cucurevil (Evilrucho? Judas? Truth? We need to decide on a name), and was probably the one to capture him too. But alas, Oscurucho (I really like this one btw) got out, and it does align with the time Cucu has been quite absent.

So yeah

Where the fuck is Cucurucho?

Was he the fed agent Federation sent to look for the eggs on the nether after Forever apparently failed? (It could've be Walter Bob, since he is a escape goat for the Federation)

Does the Eye of Sauron has him? Is he on another place entirely? Was he the one that sent the "I found them" message that they received right after Forever went to the nether? And that's why Forever has no clue about that?What the f is going on?!??!?

And, for the "■■■■■ could be a corrupted ":)"". I've had this ideia bugging me ever since they were introduced. He seems to be in reverse and the fact that the Federation actively goes on ways to stop them suggests they are not on the "perfect" path. Perhaps a deserter. I think dude was another one of the experiments, but, like the hybrid islanders, failed. And somehow got corrupted to whatever it is that the Feds are working against.

Ok, so, we know the key thing for the Feds are clones and Perfection right?

But like, my take is that the two things are combined. Like. The Federation makes it very clear they want to achieve perfection. Or at least, they want these "entities" aka Cucuruchos to achieve it. But what they need perfection for?

And the "threat worse then the Federation" makes it interesting. What if the thing they been trying to make is the Perfect Soldier? That's a thing that would connect almost, if not all, of the Islanders backgrounds and how they got fcked over by them. Putting kids to fight eachother, testing with memory and mind manipulation. And most importantly, Hybrids. So many of them. Hybrids everywhere.

And look at that, what is Cucurucho? A fckn hybrid dude. A polar bear walking on two legs.

And about the mind manipulation. Well, the perfect soldier doesn't question orders. They just do what they are fucking told to. Only remembers what is pratical for the leader cause. Doesn't get attached. Doesn't have an individuality.

And cucurucho cannot lie, like, a lot of islanders don't know this. Maybe only Jaiden does, actually. He literally is incapable of doing so, that's why he uses "classified" so much. And that's why Jaiden absolutely trusts what he says. Because it is his truth.

He doesn't have a voice. He's obligated to not have an individuality with his own personality (that's why Osito freaked him out so much) or even a name, like the incident when Cellbit asked him to put his name on the room he chose and how he wrote ":)", suddenly changed it to "cucurucho" and then went odd and quiet for awhile and changed the sign back to ":)". Cellbit said how it looked like he was told to change it back. The way Osito had to learn how to mask and appear as Cucurucho also reflects the "forced to be a hivemind" thing.

He, literally, doesn't have a voice.

Also also, clones. Is there more then one cucu? Yes, there is. Are there other clones on the Island? Yep, Baghera and Quackity say hello.

And finally, to the grand finale, we have project A0. Wich are what?

Fucking clones. Little soldiers, that can be created in mass, work in a hive mind, don't question their leader and can be optimized to good fighters. Perhaps even, with different skils depending of the source of their cloning.

Like, dude hahahah they did it. The mad lads did it. Baghera, Quackity, Jaiden, Niki, maybe Roier, Cucurucho.. all of these tests and experiments was for this: perfect soldiers that can be spawned in mass and multiplied with very low cost.

But now that they're here.. when will they be sent to fight what they're meant to? And how terrifying is it?

And back to Cucu. I think he could very well be rebelling. Who knows, maybe even corrupting. For the very fact that he's no longer "perfect". He got attached. He cares for his blue bird. A lot. That would explain his absence, his odd behavior, the way he is around Osito. He also found a name for himself. The thing that might very well started his metamorphosis.

Jaiden showed him things to like and experience, the islanders, specifically Foolish, Roier and Felps, taught him how to have fun. Cellbit taught him about hate kkkkk. He got attached. He changed. He is his own person now. He found his humanity.

Cucurucho is no longer perfect.

P.s. rip coffee machine

[ynscrazylife]

Hey !! i love ur writing style <3 i wanted to ask you if you could write a loki x reader where the reader and loki have been best friends for a long time now and after he faked his death in tdw he knocks on their door and the reader and loki have an argument and then they kiss?? maybe like the scene in crimson peak “you lied to me” “i did” “you told me you loved me” “i do” smth similar? :)

The Greatest Deception | loki angst fluff fic

Summary: After Loki reveals himself to be alive, Y/N has some choice words to say. Loki has a question.

Authors Note: Thanks for requesting! Also, I want to say that I fully support and acknowledge that Loki is genderfluid. Seeing as this fic was requested with Loki having he/him pronouns, I will use those pronouns. (Also, I didn’t know which pronouns you wanted me to write since you mentioned they for the reader but typically I use she/her, so lemme know if you want that edited)

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 |  Main Masterlist 

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/someiconsx

“Lady Y/N?”

The voice was muffled through the door and the one in question rolled from her side and onto her stomach as she laid in her bed. A low groan emitted from the creature whose limbs were tangled in the blanket and sheets.

. . .

“Lady Y/N?”

A short knock-knock accompanied the repeating words, and Y/N had a feeling of that the lovely woman who she’d love to talk to at any other time wouldn’t stop until she replied.

She pulled herself into a sitting position, smoothed over her unruly hair, and finally pulled the covers up so her pajamas wouldn’t be seen and called out, “Come in!”

The woman opened the door and sent her a sheepish smile. “The All-Father has requested your present, ma’am,” she informed her.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Do you know the reason as to why?” She quizzed.

The woman spared a quick, darting glance at Y/N’s window. “Well, the All-Father has requested all of the palace’s royals and higher-ups to gather in the courtyard. He is gathering local citizens for a, ah, play, and more would like, in this words, his ‘most esteemed confidants to enjoy,’,” she answered, subtly bouncing her weight from one foot to the other.

Y/N thought for a moment. This was the first time she was hearing that the King was holding a play — not to mention, the fact that the last play (if you could even call it that, because by Heimdall’s recounting it was horrific) was held before any of the children of Odin were born.

Just thinking about that caused a twinge to hit her stomach and for it to twist up. Loki. Odin’s youngest child and the one that had most recently left her, as he sacrificed herself to save his vaillant brother, Prince Thor. It had been weeks, maybe even a month, since Y/N had heard the news and had been resorted to a lonely, saddened version of herself. Loki was her best friend, the person she trusted more than anything and—no, no, who was she kidding? He’s more than that, and he deserves to be remembered as more than that by her.

He’s also the one that she loves, and has loved for at least the past year when she realized it.

Nonetheless, she had taken many steps to get through the grief of Loki’s dead — as had his father — and she wasn’t going to let all her hard work crumble down on one, singular thought.

“Very well, then. Please inform the All-Father that I will be there shortly, thank you,” she said.

The woman nodded and bowed her head before exiting.

Once the door had been fully shut and she could hear footsteps no more, Y/N crossed over to her window and drew back the curtains, not having missed the look at said window.

The sunlight poured into her room but the stage was indeed sent. Rows of fine chairs sat with rows of fine people in them. In front, Odin stood with a red curtain drawn closed behind him. His arms were gesturing wildly and he had a big grin on his face as he gave his speech.

Despite the curiosity that itched into Y/N’s face, she pushed it aside. She had never seen the King conduct himself in such ways, but alas, everyone grieved differently. So, she closed the curtains and got dressed for the day ahead.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

The moment Y/N stepped outside, she could’ve sworn that there was already long beads of sweat trailing down her skin. She let out a huff but journeyed on towards the courtyard, as this formal royal wear was necessary and she had no intention of pissing off Sir Snotty-Dickhead — as she called him (he had some fancy and long name she couldn’t remember, in her defense) — who was Odin’s right hand man.

By the time she got there, Odin was still rambling on with his speech, but his sudden notice of Y/N saved the guests from boredom.

“Aha, the guest of honor! Lady Y/N, herself,” Odin announced, bringing his hands together in a clap and gesturing for her to come toward him.

She betrayed herself and her cheeks involuntarily reddened as all eyes laid on her. She approached Odin and curtsied out of respect, but her mind was full of wonderings of why she, of all, would be singled out.

“I’m sure you all know who Lady Y/N is, yes?” He began, briefly pausing before continuing. “If you sadly do not, let me tell you. Lady Y/N had been a friend of the royal family, specifically my child, Loki’s—” the name caused her to suck in a sharp breath, “—and she was granted the title of Lady to uphold the image of the palace and to complete very important Asgardian duties.”

Once he stopped talking and the crowd clapped politely, Y/N took the opportunity she was presented before it’s door could close and quickly went and sat in her seat, the only seat not occupied yet, in the front row.

Odin then began speaking against whilst he walked to the side, “Speaking of my dear child Loki, this play that has been put together is one designed to honor him and his heroic sacrifice. Without further ado . . . ” He let his words trail off, and the red curtain pulled open.

Y/N’s face contorted into surprise at the words, not expecting this to take place. Again, she reminded herself, everyone grieved differently, so she decided to give it a chance. However, as the play went on, she was quick to realize that honoring Loki wasn’t the intention here. The horrid acting could be excused but Odin himself allowing this mockery of how Loki died? Of how he sacrificed himself? Well, with every second that passed, her face heated more and more — and not due to the sweat — and she grit her teeth, just barely refraining from yelling.

The worst part for her came though when the actor who played Loki did a dramatic reenactment of his sacrificed and the actor who played Thor did the worst fake crying ever. Y/N turned to the others, expecting them to be just as enraged as she was, but was floored to find that no—they were laughing. And not just that, but Odin was having himself a chuckle as well!

Her fingers tightly gripped the edges of her chair and she forced herself to look straight ahead, just about able to hold in her tears until the play was over and the actors bowed.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

Afterwards, while everyone was standing and giving Odin rounds and rounds of praises, Y/N stayed rooted in her seat. She couldn’t just let this go by as if it were nothing, but she was struggling to compose herself to confront him.

After a couple minutes of going back-and-forth, she decided, screw composure. She didn’t have to be composed. She was allowed to be angry.

So, she stood up and marched straight for him.

“All-Father,” Y/N said through grit teeth, forcing herself to curtesy, “I request your company in private, if I may.”

It took Odin a moment to tear himself away from accepting his latest comment, but the way he quickly glanced over at Y/N, she knew that he had not noticed — or perhaps he did not care — the state she was in.

“My apologies, Lady Y/N, but should I depart now, I fear I shall upset my comrades!” Odin said, ending his comment in a boastful joy, which resulted in laughter and cheers.

He didn’t wait for her response before engaging in another conversation, and Y/N’s lips remained tightly shut until she decided to just go forth and let her stuffed-up emotions out.

“Fine. I will say it in front of everyone, then!” She said, firmly and loudly, gaining everyone’s attention. “That was a pathetic excuse to remember Loki . . . It was an insult! You mocked him, your own child! How could you even— I . . . I just don’t understand . . . He sacrificed himself for your son and for Asgard and this is how you repay him? God. I expected much, much more from you for him because I . . . Let’s just say that we both love Loki, in our own ways, and I-I . . . I am very disappointed.”

Wanting to flee from the tears that were now streaming down her face and from the silence that was pounding, she turned around and she walked away, the realization that she had just confessed her love in front of everyone hitting her.

“Lady Y/N!”

Odin’s words stopped her in her tracks, but she did not turn around. Just stood. Waited.

“He told Thor, before he passed, that he, uh . . . He loved you, too.”

Y/N stared straight ahead, her hand jutting out to grab the pillar next to her to steady herself.

Loki loved her?

She didn’t stop the tears from coming this time. She let them, and the sobs, overwhelm her.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Lady Y/N?”

The voice and the knock were much more stiff than they were this morning.

“Come in.”

Her response was devoid of emotion, much more curt than it was this morning.

The same woman turned the door’s knob and opened it, sending Y/N, who was curled up on her bed, head nestled into her knees, a wary look. “The All-Father has requested your presence at his quarters,” she said.

Y/N let out a small huff, in no mood to talk to the King after what had happened. She forced her head up and gazed boredom at the woman. “Is it an emergency?” She deadpanned.

The woman looked around the room and by her lack of response, Y/N knew that either she didn’t know or didn’t want to say.

She sighed. “I will be there shortly,” she said.

The woman nodded and wordlessly left.

After she did, Y/N stood up and went in front of her mirror, taking in her appearance. Her once brushed hair was now frizzy and in knots and her eyes were puffy and red. Angrily, she practically tore the hairbrush through her hair and dabbed at her eyes with makeup until the red could be seen no more. She had no intention of letting him see her this way.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

Screw formalities, Y/N thought, as she walked straight into Odin’s quarters which composed of a small living room, a bedroom down the hall, an office, and a bathroom. She didn’t bother to curtsy or announce her presence.

When he finally and gradually turned around from whatever he was doing, a slight look of shock crossed his features, before he replaced it with a warm smile. “Y/N!” He said, but quickly corrected himself, “Lady Y/N.”

Y/N frowned and crossed her arms. “I hope that you have called me here to apologize,” she said, an icy edge to her voice.

Odin nonetheless looked at her kindly. “In a way, yes,” he vaguely said, before a magical transformation underwent before her.

His wrinkles disappeared, his beard disappeared, his grey hair turned jet black, and his clothes transformed into his usual wear.

No longer was the All-Father standing in front of her, but her best friend. The one she loved.

Taken by utter shock, Y/N instinctively stumbled back, her jaw dropping and her eyes widening. “What the hell is this?” She gasped out, not wanting to believe it at first. It was a cruel trick — it must be! There was no way.

“It’s me,” the mischievous deity said, a rare softness to his voice and in his eyes. He took a step forward, but then stopped himself. “I never died, I only impersonated my father.”

Y/N stared at him, angry tears coming to her eyes once more. “How?” She forced out, thinking that maybe she was dreaming. “Why?”

Loki looked around, slightly dumbfounded, as if he hadn’t expected anyone to question him. “I wanted the throne,” he answered, as if it were obvious and a perfectly acceptable reason.

Y/N stared at him as if he had grown two heads. To her, he might as well have.

“Oh, really? So you take over your father, trick everyone - me, your brother - into believing that you’re dead, you banish Sif . . . All because you wanted the goddamn throne?” She cried.

The cluelessness left his eyes and replaced itself with guilt, regret pooling inside him. He looked down, shoulders falling with a sigh.

“I’ve felt guilty tricking you ever since it had all went down. I wanted to tell you but, honestly, a part of me didn’t think you’d be that upset over my death. But you were really, so upset and I . . . I was lost. I didn’t know what to do. All I wanted to do was hug you and tell you that it was fine, that I was here, but I thought I’d screw up your emotions and hurt you even more,” he admitted.

Y/N just looked at him, her frown growing deeper. “That’s an awful excuse,” she hissed out, words laced with venom.

Loki immediately snapped his head up to look at her and his gaze held desperateness. “It’s not an excuse,” he said quickly. “It shouldn’t be. I’m . . . I’m so sorry. The last thing I ever wanted to was to trick you, and . . . I did. But today was the final straw. I couldn’t continue like that.”

Y/N took a step forward, having an inner battle in herself on whether or not to forgive him. “You lied to me,” she reiterated bluntly.

Loki nodded guiltily. “I did,” he agreed in a small voice.

She took a pause, taking in a deep breath. “You told me you loved me,” she added.

There was a brief moment of silence before Loki said, in the same small way but a little more firm now, “I do.”

Y/N kept walking, not even fully sure or convinced of what she was doing, but knowing that she needed to do it, until she was standing just inches away from him. They looked at each other for a couple moments, neither saying anything, until Y/N wrapped her arms around Loki. He returned the embrace.

“Never do that to me again!” She yelled through the tears that were now coming. God, was she tired of crying. Especially today.

Loki hugged her tighter, his own tears falling. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, and repeated that over, and over, and over again. “I’m an idiot.”

Y/N leaned back and cupped his face with her hands. The love she had for him overwhelmed her pain, and more than anything she needed him now. Besides, she could see his guilt. She could see the truth shining in his eyes. He wouldn’t do anything like this again, because he loved her. And she loved him.

“At least you’re self-aware,” she whispered through a sniff, taking a page out of his book with her joking remark. Before he could quip back (and she was sure he’d have an excellent one), she leaned forward and captured his lips in his a kiss. Loki smiled against her lips and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes @kathryndimitrescu @snipyloulou @big-galaxy-chaos @cc13723things @ycfwmalise14 @unexpected-character  (could not tag)  @passionswift

MCU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @summerlovingbaby @ineffablebean @okkulta @procrastinatingsapphictrash @prettysbliss @caseyfish @sarahp-stan @thewidowsghost @basiclesbianbitch @mycosmicparadise @kidswhofightmonsters @xtraordinaryfangrl @peggycarter-steverogers @username23345 @ima-gi--na-tion @yori-nakajima @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @mads-weasley @tenaciousperfectionunknown @afraid-to-be-me @lilclownx @acertainredhead @natromanoffxox @lilymurphy03 @thanossexual @avengersz-biotch @kozumekoi  @mjaudrey @un-name-d @leyannrae @buckyandstevesbitch @kuzomekou-blog​

[kelieah]

surprise (peter parker x stark!reader)

summary: you give peter a gift he would have never expected to receive from you

word count: 2.9k

warnings: angst angst angst, fluff, language

edited: sorry this is super late :(

a/n: hehe, happy bday to the cutest puppy of all! thank you to everyone who helped me come up with ideas for this fic, ily all 3000

masterlist

You and Peter have been dating for almost a year now. You both decided to get together after all the chaos that took place in Europe. You two have been friends for quite a while before that, so the fact that your friendship with Peter flourished into something even better is one of the many reasons why you adore him.

His birthday is tomorrow and you wish to make it as special as it can be. Though you’re not exactly sure how to do that. You know your dad would’ve easily bought something tremendously big and written a cheesy yet short letter with it, and Peter would love it. But if you did the same, it wouldn’t be right. Right?

The night before his birthday, you were in a spiral. You had already planned a surprise party for him at his apartment though that was the least of your worries. You were pacing around your room, unsure if the gifts you’ve been preparing for weeks was enough or if you should add more things. 

Over the years you’ve been friends with him and the months you’ve been dating him, you put together memories and experiences all in a scrapbook. It looked cute and simple on the outside, but once you opened it up, the pages were filled with photos, letters, doodles, and colors. Many references or inside jokes were scattered along the side margins and stickers were put accordingly. You made sure it was perfect, but your gift still felt incomplete to you.

You wanted to be extra. You had to be extra. You remember your mom saying it was something you got from your dad. That man was always one for his dramatics. So you stayed up a bit later than you should’ve, making tiny little paper stars with sweet compliments, affirmations, and advice in them. Then you made as many as you can to fill up a glass jar shaped like R2-D2. 

Though to you, that still wasn’t enough. So you searched and searched and eventually found some vintage Star-Wars comics. Ignoring the fact that they were over a thousand bucks, you bought a dozen or so. His gifts were spread across your bed and you stared at it for what felt like hours.

Is this enough? Is this too much? Will he love it? Will he even like it? Shit.

You remember wanting to sleep and putting it all aside to figure out in the morning. You might’ve forgotten his birthday was the next day with how much you focused on the gifts than the actual date, so you woke up with panic.

You also remembered there was one last thing you wanted to get for Peter but once you glanced at the clock, it was already noon. You overslept.

You feel your heart drop immediately realizing that you weren’t able to text or call Peter a happy birthday or good morning. You assume he must be worried, or hurt or maybe upset? You place your face in your hands and fall into deep thought. Then it hit you, the surprise party is in three hours.

“Morning Friday, read my text messages and voicemails please,” you groggily lean against your bed rest.

“Are you sure, Y/n? You have 243 text messages and 94 voicemails,” Friday informs you. 

Your eyes widen and you shake your head, “Uhm, actually just read the ones from Mom, Peter, Aunt May, and Happy please,” you mutter.

“Understood,” Friday responds, beginning to go through your messages and voicemails, “Mom has messaged you, “Morning honey. Had to go to some meetings. Nanny is leaving at 1, please watch Morgan. I’ll meet you at the party. Could you bring Morgan with you when you go?” Peter has not messaged or called you. Aunt May has messaged you, “Hi dear! I’ve already baked up some cherry pies for the party, when are you going to be over to decorate? By the way, Peter went out and is probably patrolling,” with a smiley face and heart. Happy has messaged you, “Hello, I already ordered the catering, and went over the invite list. Are you up yet?” and he also left the voicemail saying, “Hopefully you’re up by the time you get this. Most of the Avengers are coming, except Thor, the Saviors, no wait, the Guardians of whatever they’re called, and Captain Marvel. I’m sure you could figure out why. Give me a call when you’re up.” Done.”

“Shit,” you whine loudly. You throw yourself out of bed and get to your morning routine. You quickly tidy up your room, take a quick shower, go through your skincare routine and get dressed up. You decided to put on some makeup and wear nicer clothes for once given it’s your boyfriend’s birthday.

You look around your room and inhale deeply, “Just that one last thing,” you remind yourself and walk off. After getting what you need, the nanny informs you that she’s leaving. You walk over to Morgan’s room and knock the door before entering, “Hi princess, you ready for Spider-Man’s birthday?”

She turns around, all dressed up in a pretty floral dress, “Hi sissy, yes! Don’t you mean, your friend boy?” she giggles, running up to you.

You roll your eyes playfully, “You mean boyfriend? Yes, c’mon pretty girl. We’re going to go now.”

An hour or so later, you’re making your way over to Aunt May and Peter’s apartment with Morgan in the backseat. You felt bad for not greeting Peter at all today but you decided to make it a part of the surprise. “He still has a tracker in his suit!?” you burst out in laughter as you stop at a red light.

“Seems like Tony didn’t get rid of it before, I don’t blame him,” Happy mutters. “You got everything right? Morgan, Peter’s gifts, the decorations, and your head?”

“Yes Happy,” you glance into your back seat, checking in on Morgan and seeing the piled clutter. “I feel like Santa Clause with a bunch of gifts and an elf in the backseat,” you chuckle. Morgan gasps and makes a silly expression at you that brings a smile to your face.

“Maybe you are with all the cookies you eat,” he jokes.

“You’re one to talk, anyway where’s Peter now?” you ask as you drive off as soon as the light turns green.

“He’s swinging around, I saw the news. He’s interacting with fans and interviewers, a pretty rare case.”

“True, he must be trying to distract himself. Am I the only one who hasn’t greeted him yet?” you ask, nervously biting on your bottom lip.

“Yep.”

“Shoot, well I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“Let’s hope so, I’ll see you and Morgan when you both get here. Gotta help May out with the pies.”

“Sure, the pies,” you tease, causing Happy to roll his eyes and end the call.

You feel your heart stop as Peter suddenly gives you a call. You fight the urge to pick up and shower him in reassurance and love, but ignore for the sake of the surprise. 

Ten to twenty minutes later, you and Morgan arrive at May and Peter’s apartment. You smile and knock on the door, struggling to hold everything in your arms while holding Morgan’s hand.

“Hello hello, you two,” Aunt May opens the door with a bright smile on her face. She lets you in and helps you out, “Took you long enough.”

“Sorry, I overslept. I wasn’t sure if my gifts were enough,” you pout and kiss her cheek. 

“That’s okay. Morgan baby, Happy’s in the kitchen.” May smiles and ruffles Morgan’s hair. Morgan hums and hugs her leg, running off.

“These are all your gifts for him? Sweetheart, it’s his birthday not Christmas,” she giggles. “I’m sure he would love anything you get for him, even if it was a cheap lego set.”

“I know I know, it’s just Peter has been through so much. I feel like he deserves the world,” you say bashfully.

“You’re so cute,” she hums and helps you place the many gifts on a certain table. “Remember, you have been through a lot too.”

“Yes, but today’s his day,” you cross your arms. “Anyway, enough chatter. We should decorate now, everyone’s coming over in an hour right?”

“Yep. I also told Peter to swing around for a while and bring Thai food home at 4. He thinks it’s just going to be him, Happy and I. I told him you have work,” she says, grabbing some decorations.

“Okay, perfect. I feel so bad, I haven’t communicated with him since last morning,” you huff and grab some streamers.

“I’m sure he understands, kid gets busy too,” Happy walks over from the kitchen with Morgan trailing behind him. “Man, are these all your gifts for him?” he glances over at a table filled with only your gifts.

“Y-Yes? Why is that such a bad thing,” you groan.

“It’s not, I think,” he glances at May who gives him a look. He puts his hands up in defense and slowly walks back into the kitchen.

“You’re fine, honey. Also, I love your dress, isn’t that?” she tilts her head.

“Yeah, it’s the dress I was wearing on our first date,” you smile to yourself, glancing down at your cherry red dress. It fit perfectly, not too loose or tight and it had pockets. Something you and Peter were always amused by.

After the three of you finish decorating, the guests begin to arrive. Most of the team showed up and you and Peter’s close friends. You let out a sigh of relief and lean on the fire escape railing, looking out at the city. You glance at your watch, “Almost time.”

“Hey there,” you hear from behind you. You look back and see Happy.

“Hey.”

“You doing alright? Peter’s coming soon,” he says and walks next to you, leaning against the railing.

“I know, I just feel like. I did too much? Too less? I’m not sure, I just wanted this day to be perfect for him especially after last year,” you mutter and glance at Happy with teary eyes.

He smiles sadly and pulls you into a hug, “It’s absolutely perfect. You know, Peter isn’t going to be the only one who’s proud.”

“Who else? You?”

“Well, besides me and a bunch of other people. Your dad,” he murmurs.

You feel your heart tighten and you stifle a cry, stuffing your head into his chest. He sighs and hugs you close, “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. Sometimes I feel like he never left, because everyday I see him in you,” he pulls away, holding your shoulder.

You smile softly and nod, “T-Thank you, Happy really,” you sniffle.

“Of course. You should probably tidy up, your makeup’s running,” he takes a step back.

You laugh half-heartedly, “Alright. Could you tell everyone to get in their places?” you begin to walk towards the apartment.

“Got it,” he nods and follows you back inside.

Your heart was racing, everyone wasn’t sure if he was going to show up at the front door or his room. Happy gives the signal that he’s arrived and everyone goes silent. You feel a slight sense of relief when you hear noises from the front door. If he came through his room, he probably wouldn't be that surprised. 

Peter sighs and holds the bag of Thai food in one hand, opening up the door with a key in the other. His senses have been all over the place today and his heart didn’t feel like it was in the right place. He was beyond worried about you, he didn’t even care that it was his birthday. He just wanted to know if you were okay.

He opens the door, calling out for May. “May, I’m home-”

“Surprise!” Everyone appears out from their spots, greeting Peter with bright smiles and confetti. 

Peter instantly jumps and places a hand over his heart. “G-Guys!? Bruce? Scott? Wait, Ned? MJ!?” he stammers, looking all over the place.

“Happy birthday, Spidey,” you come out of your hiding spot, smiling warmly at him.

“Oh my god, Y/n,” he breathes out and rushes over to you, pulling you into a hug. You let out a gasp as he picks you up and spins you around. He places you down and hugs you closer. He pulls away and glances at your dress then at you, “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he sighs, kissing your cheek. 

You blush at his comment and fiddle with your dress. “Thank you,” you smile, hoping he notices your outfit.

“Wait, isn’t this the dress from our first date?” he holds some of your dress and glances at you. You grin and nod, he sighs happily and pulls you back into a hug.

Everyone reacts sweetly until Flash, who was surprisingly invited yells out, “Get a room!” Everyone instantly glares at him and he shrivels up, smiling sheepishly.

You roll your eyes and Peter ignores him, peppering your face with kisses. “I thought you were mad at me or something, or hurt, or just forgot about me,” he rambles, holding your face.

“Well, luckily none of those are the cases. I just wanted to surprise you,” you hum.

“You planned all this?” he gapes, glancing around his apartment once again.

“Yes, but I had a lot of help,” you hum.

“Friend boy!” Morgan squeals and rushes over, hugging you and Peter’s legs. “Happy birthday,” she beams.

Peter’s eyes soften and his bends down, “Thank you cutie,” he grins.

She squeals and hugs him, “Can you be my friend boy?”

You gasp dramatically, “Morgan, he’s my friend boy.”

“I don’t know babe, Morgan looks amazing in her little princess dress,” he picks up Morgan, holding her close.

You pout and cross your arms. Morgan bubbles happily and wraps her tiny arms around his neck.

To say Peter was overwhelmed with happiness was an understatement. He felt relief, appreciation, love and support. This whole time he was worrying that he had done something wrong when really nothing was wrong and everyone was just hiding and being quiet for his surprise.

After catching up with some of the Avengers and friends and eating dinner all together, it was time for cake and presents.

You couldn’t express how unbelievably happy and emotional you felt for Peter as he stood in front of his cake as everyone sang Happy Birthday to him. His face was filled with pure joy and you wish that could stay on his face forever, because to you, that’s what he deserves and more.

Not much later present time begins and Peter starts to open up everyone’s gifts. You told him to open yours last. You absolutely adored this boy and your heart swelled up every time he held a genuine smile to his face as he opened his gifts. He got up, thanked and hugged every single person who had got him a gift. You truly are smitten for him.

“Who are all these gifts from?” Peter asks, glancing at the huge piles of gifts left. “I thought I had opened everyone’s except Y/n’s already,” he chuckles. 

“Those are all mine,” you walk over, sitting next to him.

“Oh, flower,” he mutters softly and pouts out his bottom lip. “You didn’t-”

“Ah, please open them and shut your mouth,” you cross your arms. Everyone laughs in amusement at your sass and watches as Peter begins to open up the gifts.

Peter first opens up the comic books and jars filled with little letters, “Oh my god, you didn’t,” he whimpers happily. “This must’ve cost a fortune,” he holds up the comic books.

“What? All I did was write on little pieces of paper and-”

“Babe.”

“I know! I’m joking, on to the next please,” you coo and kiss his cheek. 

He huffs and unravels the next gift, his eyes beginning to glisten with tears. He slowly flips through the pages of the beautiful scrap book you made for him. He comes across a page where it was you, your dad and him in multiple photos. He lets tears slip form his eyes and glances at you with softened eyes, “Y/n,” he mutters.

“Larb you,” you kiss his cheek. He places the scrapbook aside and pulls you into a hug, kissing your forehead.

“I larb you more,” he sighs. 

“I thought that was our thing,” May pouts, causing everyone to chuckle at her comment.

“It can be our thing too,” Peter teases. “Is that all?” he sniffles, glancing back at you.

“One more thing,” you smile cheekily.

“Oh man,” he sighs, placing his forehead on your shoulder. “I don’t know if I can take it.”

“Morgan,” you look up, running your hands through Peter’s curls. She grins and grabs the last small box, bringing it to Peter.

He looks up and smiles, silently thanking her. “You want to help me open it?” he asks her. She nods and sits on his lap, helping him pull away the ribbon. As they both do so, the box falls and reveals the gift your mom once gifted your dad, then to you. Peter covers his mouth, “No, I can’t-”

“Peter,” you shake your head.

He sniffs once again, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks as he glances at the glass case with your dad’s arc reactor inside. He glances down at the words surrounding the arc reactor, “Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart,” he sobs.

You glance up seeing that your mom smiles sadly, wiping away some tears. “Happy birthday,” you repeat, kissing his cheek.

“Why are you giving this to me?” he stammers, hugging Morgan back as she hugs him close, nuzzling her head into his neck.

“Mom, Morgan and I already have many parts of dad with us. You don’t have as much and we all know how much he meant to you. You really are a part of our family too Peter, and I felt like you deserved this. Now you can see that his heart also belongs with you,” you smile warmly, cupping his cheek and wiping his tears away.

Everyone watches the heart-touching moment unravel, a sad yet understanding smile appearing on their faces. “I love you. I love all of you, and you,” he pokes Morgan’s nose, causing her to giggle.

“We love you too Peter,” everyone chimes in.

“I love you more,” you whisper, kissing his nose.

“I love you 3000,” Morgan pouts, playing with his shirt. You and Peter look at each other with sad smiles.

“I love you 3000 too.”

tagging some mutuals who might be interested! @ariistotles @cosmicholland @petersholland @tonguetiedholland @theamazingtomholland @tombrina @spideyyeet @toms-gf @peterspideysstuff @chloecreatesfictions @mcdwcman @hollandsrecs @the-salty-asian @fallinfortom @hermayone @allegra-writes @waitimcomingtoo @futuremrspcy @dreamofaprilsblog @t-lostinmendes @musicalkeys @icyhollands @beverlyparkerr​ @marvelhoesworld​

[i-need-entertainment]

Chronostasis + “If the world was ending”

This is the 19th Oneshot for the Valentines Day Event, thank you so much to @purplefrost21 for requesting Chrono! I went ahead and picked a song, I hope this is okay! If you would like something different, feel free to message me!!

Starting now, I will also be splitting the writings into paragraphs, thank you to the anon who requested this, I appreciate it!

**Also, I wrote the hassaikai how I usually write it, slightly edited cause, ~plot reasons~ Overhaul will be not OOC, but a decent person and yeah**

Warnings- Pregnancy, allusions to iNtiMaCy but obviously no actual smut cause I don’t write it, eensy teensy amount of suggestiveness i gUess??? Not really?? idk but i’ll put it here anyway

Character: Chronostasis x reader

It’s been one year since you and Chrono had decided to call it quits. It’s also been one year since you decided to leave the hassaikai. You had known Chrono since you were 18, you had been down on your luck and had no where to go. That is until Pops found you and brought you in. You were quick to make friends with Chrono, matching his teasing and laid back personality nicely with your own. Four years later and you and Chrono’s friendship had developed into a different type of relationship. 

You often spent your nights together, sneaking around and keeping your relationship under wraps. You loved Chrono, in every sense of the word. You had given him your everything and he had given you his. You both were deeply and madly in love with each other, and you both could honestly see yourselves with each other for the rest of your lives. 

At least, that was the plan...”I think we need to break up.” You remember how the sound of your heart cracking echoed in your ears, your chest felt like 2 tons had been dropped onto your lungs, and time slowed to a pitiful stop. “...what?” He sighed as he took your hands into his, head hung low as he neglected to look you in the eye. “...The hassaikai isn’t what it used to be, it’s not safe for us to have a relationship anymore...I’m sorry Y/n, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore, any pursuit of a relationship would only be a distraction, it’s best if we...don’t see each other any more.” You hastily brought your sleeve to your eye to wipe the tears that had started to fall, trying to keep a smile on your face as you nodded.

 “...okay..” Chrono’s eyes widened, “Are you su-” “Yes.” You patted his knee as you stood, walking to the door of his room, giving him one last ‘smile’, “Good bye Hari.” You left his room, walking to your own and closing your door with a sigh. You sat down on your bed, hands grasping your knees as your sobs broke through, wet tears sliding down your face and onto the jeans you wore. You sat there, painful realization after realization came crashing down on you. ‘we’re done’..’he broke up with me’...’I-I have to do this alone’....’I can’t stay here.’ 

You hiccuped as your eyes widened, you stood and moved to kneel beside your bed, dragging your old suitcase out from under your bed. You packed as much as you could into it- not like you had much, before you rolled it to sit beside your door. You walked out and headed towards Overhaul’s office. You knocked on the door and entered when you heard a ‘come in’. You walked in and stood in front of his desk. “L/n..what can I do for you?” He leaned his chin on his fist as his elbow sat his his desk, his gold eyes looking as bored as they usually do. 

“I’m sorry for the short notice, but i’m going to have to leave the compound for awhile..” His eyebrows raised as he sat up straight. “..Are you wanting to leave the Hassaikai?” You shook your head, “No, but, I’m going to need some time away...I’m pregnant.” He slowly nodded, “Maternity leave?” You nodded as you kept your gaze towards the floor, “Very well, I’ll give you an assignment further away, one that’ll keep you out of the field.” You nodded, saying a quiet ‘thank you’ as he wrote down the information/permissions you’d need.

 You turned to leave, but before you could he spoke. “...does he know..?” You shook your head, “...no...but..I...I think it’s better if he doesn’t..not yet anyway...” He hummed as he sighed, “Well, if that’s what you think is best, you’re dismissed.” You nodded as you opened the door and left, walking to your room to get your suitcase before you left.

It’s been a year since you last saw Chrono. You had tried to let him go, to forget and leave him in the past. But that was a lot harder than you had originally anticipated. Because you still loved him. You would have thought that after a year of not having seen him after he broke up with you, you’d be able to leave him in the past. But you couldn’t. Cries took you out of your critical thinking. You shook yourself out of it before walking over to your little boy, Hayato. He was only 3 months, so he was still little...and quite the crier..But no matter how many sleepless nights or mini breakdowns you might have trying to get him to sleep, your entire heart belonged to your son, your little Hayato. 

You came in and softly spoke to your crying baby, softly picking him up and holding him by his bottom, softly cradling his head where it laid on your shoulder. You slowly swayed side to side as you held him, softly humming as you did this. His cries subsided, soft little *cute* hiccups escaping his small body as you rubbed his back. Sometimes nothing was wrong, he just needed to be held, comforted...you knew the feeling. You cuddled him for a little longer before you felt him calm down, and seeing as it was 10 past midnight, you set him down in his crib, making sure his stuffed elephant was close by. 

Giving his forehead one last kiss you walked out of his room, cracking the door and going to the kitchen to finish making the tea you were going to drink. Blowing on the hot cup you sat down on the couch, turning so you could look out the tall windows that were almost floor to ceiling. You only had a few lights on so the view of the city at night was clear. You sighed as you brought the tea cup to your mouth, taking a slow sip while your feet came up onto the couch with you. You sat there in the silence, the buzzing of various electronics in the background and the occasional sound of your sips the only noise filling the room. You smiled as you took a peak at the baby monitor you kept on the small end table, your little baby snuggling the small animal your boss, a good friend of Pops, gifted your son when he was born.

 All things considered, you were doing quite well for yourself. You had a high paying job as an assistant for a, despite being a hassaikai leader, kind boss who gave you a few months off to care for your child. You were able to live off compound in a good school district in a nice safe area. You were set on giving your baby the best life you could, the life you never got to have. *Knock knock* You slowly set the cup down on the table, moving the baby monitor into a drawer (you always made sure to hide it when ever business partners or anyone work related came, your sons safety was your utmost priority). You walked to the door and took a look through the peep hole, when you did your heart sped up, heart sinking to your gut. Because the man on the other side of the door was someone you didn’t expect to see for a long, long time.

**2 hours ago in the Shie Hassaikai base**

Chrono groaned as he sat down in the couch in Overhaul’s office, mask sitting beside him on the couch as he leaned his head back to rest against the back of the couch. “You look dead.” Chrono scoffed as his hand came to rub at his eyes. “Gee thanks, I really needed to hear that. I almost forgot my life sucked- thanks for the reminder.” Overhaul shrugged, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. “...When was the last time you saw her?” 

Chrono sighed, “....when she left the hassaikai...I haven’t heard from her since..I screwed up bad.” Overhaul now sighed as he reopened his eyes, turning his gaze to Chrono. “I’d say...” Chrono shot a glare towards his friend, Overhaul simply shrugging. “....she asked me not to tell you, but seeing as you’re miserable and I know you, i’m going to tell you anyways...” Chrono raised an eyebrow as Overhaul stood from his desk, leaning down to write something on a small piece of paper. He walked over to the couch, tossing the paper onto the couch beside his friend. 

Chrono picked it up, eyes narrowing as it listed an apartment complex and a suite number. “..The heck is this?” Overhaul walked back to his desk and sat down. “Her address....I’d prepare myself if I were you, she’s not the only one you left behind.” Chrono narrowed his eyes at the man, “What do you-” “Tell me Kurono, why did you think she suddenly left, to do office work nonetheless, right after you broke up with her?” Chrono looked down, “I’m not sure....I figured she was mad, upset..figured she just didn’t want to see me anymore.” Overhaul hummed, “Well, that’s partly true, but no. She left because she wasn’t the only one she had to look after anymore.”

 Chrono looked towards Overhaul, “...what are you saying?” Overhaul frowned (yes he’s still wearing a mask cHill) “..I’m saying there’s someone else in the picture now, your picture.” Like a flip being switched his eyes shot open. “...I got her pregnant..” “Bingo.” “...and I broke up with her..” “Yup.” “..I have a son i’ve never met..” “Or daughter.” Chrono glared at Overhaul, who was finding the situation unnervingly amusing. “We can keep bantering back and forth or you can go, I don’t care either way, but I do have work to do.” 

Shakily sighing Chrono stood, walking to the door. Turning around he looked to his old friend, “...thank you.” Overhaul waved him off with a sigh, “Thank me when you finally get your life back together.” Grinning Chrono walked out of the office, paper in hand and heart filled with determination. He was going to make this right.

**Back to present time**

Undoing the chain and bolt you unlocked the door. “...Hari..?” Everything he had prepared to say flew out the window when he saw you. You looked different..not in a bad way, but he could tell you had matured. You had your hair pulled back and held loosely by a clip, you were wearing a loose t-shirt and some leggings. “..Y/n..” You both stared at each other, neither one believing that the other was actually there. Snapping yourself out of your daze you spoke, “Uhm, what are you doing here? Not that it’s not great to see you! I just- I didn’t expect you to be...here..” 

He nodded, hands going into his pockets to hide how shaky they had become. “..I....I needed to talk to you...I need make things right.” You looked at him with a nervous expression, arms coming to cross in front of your chest, not in anger or frustration but to try to ground yourself. “I love you Y/n, and I don’t know what was going through my head when I broke up with you, but please believe me when I tell you it was the stupidest thing i’ve ever done. I never stopped loving you either, when I ended things it was because I thought it was the best thing to do at the time, I thought you deserved better...I didn’t think I could give you better...I’m so sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and i’m so sorry.”

 You started to tear up, one of your hands coming up to wipe the tears that escaped. Shaking your head you gave him a small smile. “I never hated you...I don’t think I can. And I definitely never stopped loving you...This past year has been harder than you know, well, you might, you don’t look too good.” Chrono just chuckled as he shook his head, you lightly laughing. “..Just promise you won’t do that again..? I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want to do this alone anymore either.” He looked confused for a second. “Wait here...there’s someone who wants to meet you.” 

His heart sped up as you walked back to your sons room, him walking into the small entryway and shutting/locking the door behind him. He wring his hands together, heart rate speeding up and his mind racing. He took a shaky breath in as you walked out of the room, but it caught in his throat when his dark eyes met identical ones. His gulped as he looked up to see you, silently asking for permission. Smiling you walked over to him, gently holding you- well, the two of you’s son out to him. He very carefully brought his son into his arms, holding him with his left as his right softly traced over his small features.

 He almost broke when his son latched onto his finger, he smiled towards his son, shoulders shaking as he held back tears. “His name is Hayato.” He looked to you and smiled, before looking back down to his little baby. “Hi Hayato...it’s nice to meet you...sorry i’m a little late...daddy was busy being an idiot.” He playfully glared when you said ‘Yeah he was’ before softening his look when he returned his gaze to Hayato. “But i’m here now...and I’m never going away again..I promise you that.” He looked up to you, meeting your glassy e/c eyes with his own gray ones. “Both of you.”

 After a good hour of holding his son you both put him to bed. Slowly cracking his door closed once again, you both moved to sit in the family room. But before he could sit you softly grabbed his arm. He turned around, stumbling when you threw yourself towards him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close to him as he possibly could, head nuzzling into your shoulder. “...I was really scared you’d never come back...when you left, I knew I screwed up big time, but I thought you needed your space...but shoot, if I had known you were pregnant-” You shook your head, pulling away to look him in the eyes, hands coming to rest on his chest while his remained on your waist.

 “No, that parts my fault, and don’t even refute it...I didn’t tell you because I thought it would hold you back...that I would hold you back..and I didn’t want to keep you in a relationship you wouldn’t be happy in...but he’s your son, I should have told you.” He leaned down to rest his forehead back on your shoulder. He sighed as he chuckled, “We both made some pretty dumb choices, let’s leave it at that.” You laughed, cradling his head and running your fingers, carefully, through his hair.

 You were just enjoying the moment when  he started to softly kiss your shoulder, before he stood to his normal height and kissed your lips. His hands moved down to your hips, yours around his neck when you pulled away. “Uh uh, I know where this is going- I just had a kid 3 months ago, the last thing I need is another one!” Shrugging he leaned down to kiss your cheek, you almost gave in to the moment, caught up in the sheer romance of the gesture before he leaned closer to your ear, “The more the merrier~” Him laughing when you squealed as he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder.

You started to slap his back in protest before he ‘gently’ set you down on your bed, him climbing to the side of you to pull you in close, holding you like at any moment he’d wake up, this having all been a cruel dream. But when you wrapped your arms around him and burrowed into his chest he knew, he wasn’t too late. And as he drifted off to sleep that night, with you finally back in his arms, he couldn’t help but think that maybe it was luck, or even fate, but whatever it was that brought you back together, Chrono knew he would always find his way back to you.

“If the world was ending You'd come over, right?”

[teamhappyme]

a series of promising events (1/5)

aaron hotchner x female! reader

word count: 7.9k :)

a/n: hello hello hello! this is my first hotch fic, and the first of three parts (edit: it’s actually 5 now lolol). it’s going to cover 8 (maybe 9?) events over the course of several years, so it needed to be broken up in the most rational way possible. this is my baby, and has been in the editing process with my lazy brain since september. please, please, please, let me know if the timeline or anything is confusing to you! i have a tendency to under explain things (as my profs will testify to), and i don’t want y’all to be confused. i hope whoever stumbles across this enjoys!

also, big shoutout to @winterscaptain, you are a gift to the world, tali. i am in love with the ajf universe, and that shit inspired me to polish this piece up for the tumblr verse to see. 

alright friends, here we go.

link to part 2: here

**** 

June 2005

You wouldn’t forget your first day in the BAU for as long as you lived. It was forever ingrained in your memory, the good, bad, and embarrassing moments all stored away. Stored away that is until Derek Morgan decided to dredge it back up as you passed your six month mark on the job. 

Derek, Prentiss, Reid and yourself were finishing up paperwork in the bullpen after an unusually slow friday. You were usually the first one done, earning a groan from the doctor across from your desk. They all envied your English degree and professional writing skills. 

“Hey bobo,” The nickname Derek had assigned to you was named after your alma mater, and extremely annoying. “Remember your first day, when I tricked you into doing Prentiss and my paperwork for almost two weeks?” You shook your head, not having to look at Morgan to be able to hear the smirk in his voice. “Do you think I could trick you again?”

7:47. Thirteen minutes earlier than you needed to be. Yet the room full of agents you were supposed to join was already filled. You liked these people already, they were punctual and functioned in the morning. 

You pushed one of the glass doors open with your ballet flat, juggling your box of office supplies while keeping your crossbody balanced on your shoulder. The sound of fingers pounding on keyboards, phones ringing on loop welcomed you into the BAU. Along with a shove to your back, causing you to lunge forward. You felt something cold run down your back, cursing yourself for wearing a white blouse.

“Are you alright?” You looked up to find a tall mop of brown hair and big brown eyes looking down at you. “Well, I’m a little damp.”

He nodded while looking at your box full of sticky notes and pens. “You must be y/n l/n. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid. We’ve been taking bets on what time you’d arrive. And you beat us all with your extreme punctuality.” You laughed. “Sorry to let you down. It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Reid.” You extended your hand for him to shake, but he just stared at your extended limb.

“Yeah, he doesn’t do that sort of thing.” The new voice came into view, shaking your hand that was meant for Reid. He was tall like Spencer, but was lean with a smile on his face. Confident. “I’m Derek Morgan. When JJ told us the new recruit graduated with an english degree, I expected someone with tweed elbow patches and big round glasses.” 

“You’re an english major? Statistically speaking, only three percent of the agents that have been recruited for the BAU didn’t have any background in law enforcement or field experience.” This wasn’t the first time you’d been questioned at the FBI for being a liberal arts degree profiler. Your english degree and your fresh age of twenty five left many people to dismiss you through your time in the academy. But you got used to it. 

“Sorry to disappoint your stereotypical profile of an FBI agent,” You started, shifting your weight between your feet, now uncomfortable and a little embarrassed in front of your new co-workers. 

“Oh I didn’t mean it as an offense. I-” “He’s a genius, but he lacks some social cues. You’re the first girl he’s been around that’s his age in the workplace.” Morgan added and Reid elbowed his ribs. You covered the smile on your face as the two of them started to quietly bicker. 

“Let the poor woman go and settle in at least before you harass her.” A brunette woman in a black pant suit came walking toward you. She had a stern face while looking at the two men, but when she turned to you, her face softened into a smile. “Special Agent Emily Prentiss. You do not understand how happy I am to have another woman out in this bullpen.”

You laughed as she led you to the empty desk across from Dr. Reid’s. “Welcome to your new home.”

“Thanks.” You placed your box down before taking the place in. “I’m supposed to meet with SSA Hotchner,”

“Agent l/n,” All heads turned to the man descending the stairs into the bullpen. He was taller than the other two, and that was saying a lot since they practically towered over you. He had a clean boys haircut, paired with a suit and tie. No question that this was the unit chief you were to report to. “I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner. Welcome to the BAU.” He shook your hand before looking at the others. “JJ’s ready to debrief in the conference room.”

And just like that, the three agents sprung into action, leading the way to the board room. “We can go over the particulars when we get back from Nebraska. You ready for your first case?”

His face didn’t change, no change of tone in his voice. He lived and breathed for the BAU. Until you noticed the wedding band on his left hand. It was always the first thing you looked for when you met someone new. It was shallow and patriarchal, you knew, but it was instinct. And it put you at ease knowing there was someone out there he was doing this for. Someone he didn’t have to hold this demeanor around. 

“Ready.”

“Funny. But if you have any other insults to give, direct them to the head of the english department at Bowdoin. Mention that you’re talking about y/n l/n, with the 4.0 GPA.”

Prentiss led a slow clap as Derek shook his head. 

“I think that’s what the kids are calling a ‘mic drop’.” Spencer added and you couldn’t help your laugh. “Alright kid, why don’t you get out of here before we inevitably find ourselves back.”

You turned off the lamp on your desk and grabbed your crossbody and backpack. “Have a good weekend guys. And Reid,” He looked up, and you laughed as he pushed his hair out of his face. “Please recite the old testament for these two if they mock me while I’m gone.” He gave you a mock salute as Prentiss flipped you off on your way to Hotch’s office. 

In the six months you’d been here, these three people you shared the bullpen with had quickly become the siblings you never had. Morgan acted as your annoying older brother, constantly picking on you and Reid. Not only were you the newbie, but you were now the youngest, only a year behind Spencer. Emily Prentiss on the other hand, was the protective older sister you always dreamed of. She was confident and held her own against the male dominated team, but knew when to be soft spoken and caring with victims and the team when needed.

And then there was Dr. Spencer Reid. The smartest person on the planet, in your book. Sure, he was a little socially awkward and didn’t know when to stop listing off all the stats he knew, but you understood. He was consistently the youngest and smartest person in every classroom he walked into. There weren’t many people that wanted to get to know him without bullying him or picking apart his eidetic memory. Despite the problematic first encounter you shared, the two of you stuck together considering your combined intellect and young age. He taught you the ins and outs of the BAU, and helped you get accustomed to D.C. Although, Spencer himself hadn’t really ventured out into the city in the four years he’s been here. So the two of you tried to see as many things as you could in the rare weekends that you weren’t working a case. You worked your way through a third of the smithsonian's, and saw the Declaration of Independence. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t get a little emotional while looking at it. Spencer had called you a nerd, and you didn’t mind one bit. 

You walked up the steps to Hotch’s office, case reports in your hand from this week. The blinds were open, you could see him working through the stack of files on his desk. Despite the exhaustion written all over his face, his sport coat was still on, tie still impeccably tight around his neck. Even when he was in private he kept up the put together facade.

You knocked on the door, and heard a quiet ‘come in’ as you twisted the door knob. “L/n,” “I have my case reports from this week.” “Just place them on my desk.”

“How much longer are you here for?” He let out a sigh while closing the file in his hand. 

“Another hour or two.” You opened your mouth to respond, but he beat you to the punch. “And before you offer to stay and help me, I don’t need any help.”

“You just don’t want to listen to me singing Coldplay under my breath.” He huffed out a semblance of a laugh. A month into your bout here, Morgan had accosted you on the jet on the way home from Milwaukee. None of you had slept in three days, and you were currently enthralled in your new mp3 player and Coldplay's newest album ‘X&Y’. After the third song, a paper cup was thrown at the back of your head, followed by a ‘I’m trying to sleep, bobo’ from Derek. It was a habit of yours that you had yet to kick. 

“That’s part of the reason.” “I knew it.” He opened another file, and you took that as a cue to wrap up the conversation. You rummaged through your purse, looking for the blue envelope you sealed this morning. 

“Um, I also wanted to drop this off. It’s for Jack, you mentioned he was being Christened this weekend.” You placed the card on top of the pile of paperwork, your cursive handwriting on top. “I was going to get him a stuffed animal or some type of toy, but he’s only three months old and wouldn’t know the difference. This check may be the penny that helps you guys afford Harvard.”

A real laugh escaped his lips now, as he picked up the card. “Thank you, y/n. You didn’t have to do this.” You smiled. “I know, but I wanted to. He’s a cute kid.” 

He looked at the framed picture of Jack on his desk, then back up to you. No one else had mentioned the Christening after Hotch first brought it up. He was quiet, and only liked to talk about his family if he initiated the conversation. You could tell you were the only person who had reached out like this, with a simple gift. 

Hotch had been the hardest person to get to know in your time here. Despite Morgan saying there are no secrets kept among the team, you knew these people had their demons. And Hotch certainly had enough both professionally and personally. You didn’t want to push the professional boundaries, but you always wanted to be present in the lives of people that you shared time with. To let them know you were thinking of them, and cared for them. It was probably your most damaging personality trait.

“I’ll let you finish your work so you can get home at a reasonable hour. Tell Haley I said hi.” He nodded. “I will y/n. Have a nice weekend.”

****

December 2005

You pride yourself in the fact that you haven’t shot your weapon in the year you’ve spent with the BAU. It meant that you were successful at connecting to these people’s emotions, despite the asterisk next to their name labeling them as a serial killer or sadist. Guns were there to protect you, and they were always the last result. But as you pulled up to a log cabin in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania, you had a feeling your record was going to be broken.

The team was working a case where six bodies, two adult males and four teenage males, were found mutilated, along with a cut from sternum to belly button. It was the first case you worked that had no female victims. A small victory, in your mind. But, it was also the first case you worked that the profile of the unsub fit a sixteen year old girl, who had most likely been assaulted as a young child. When children were involved, the team acted differently. They were failed by the people that were supposed to care for them, they were consistently hurt with no one to turn to. And as a result, they would spend the rest of their lives paying for it. 

You, Prentiss, and Hotch got out of the suburban, strapping the bullet proof vests onto your bodies. Thanks to Garcia, you had found the unsub’s location once she turned her cell phone back on. A cruiser pulled up behind you guys, two more cops falling out. 

“Prentiss, you take the two officers down with you to the exterior basement access. L/n and I will take the main floor.” Hotch ordered as he pulled his gun from his holster. 

You could feel the anxiety rising in your chest, but there was no time to calm it down. You barely had enough time to strap on your vest. 

“Ready?” Hotch looked at you before taking another step toward the cabin. You nodded, pulling your own gun from it’s holster. “Ready.”

You followed him up to the front porch, announcing yourselves before kicking the door in. You cleared the living room as Hotch cleared the dining room and bathroom, leaving you both to meet up in the kitchen. 

That was where you found her. You saw her first, hiding half of her face behind the rifle that she had pointed at you. She was trembling, dried tear streaks left on her cheeks. She was petrified. 

“Stephanie Moore?” Her grip on the gun tightened at the mention of her name as you heard Hotch’s footsteps get closer. “My name is Y/n L/n, I’m with the FBI. I don’t want to hurt you Stephanie, but I need you to put the gun down.”

Hotch joined you on your left, both of you directing your weapons toward the young girl. “I did what I had to do to survive. They took everything from me, every last shred of dignity I had. I wasn’t going to let them kill me.” You never thought it would be possible for your heart to break while listening to an unsub. But this tiny girl standing in front of you, with her whole life ahead of her, it just hit you too hard. 

“I know you did, Stephanie. You were so brave and so strong. Not many people could survive what you did.” She started to loosen her grip on the rifle, you were getting through to her. “I’m here to help you. I want to put an end to all of this.”

You glanced at Hotch and he gave the slightest nod, giving you the okay to take a step forward together. “I couldn’t let them get away with it.” Ever so slowly, the gun started to lower in her hands. 

“You’re doing great. Just a little lower and this will all be over.” Before she could completely lower her weapon, you heard the storm door to the basement slam shut. 

Stephanie jumped, raising her weapon back up in her hands.

“You said you were here to help me!” She exclaimed, the gun pointed at you as Hotch took another step forward. “I am Stephanie, but other members of my team are trying to help the boy you took.”

Fresh tears started to fall down her cheeks and you knew you were losing her. “Y/n,” 

He whispered to you and she moved the gun from your chest to Hotch’s. “Shutup!”

“Stephanie, hey, look at me,” She shook her head, continuing her stare at Hotch. “He’s in on it, he has to be!”

“He’s not! He’s my boss, trust me, Stephanie.” You heard the safety go off, and before her foot landed as she took her first step towards Hotch, you emptied two rounds into her chest. He rushed forward as she fell, kicking away her gun and checking her pulse. Nothing. 

You lowered your gun as your breathing increased, looking at the lifeless sixteen year old lying in front of you. A hand covered your mouth as you realized what you’d done. 

You killed her. 

You remembered what it felt like to be sixteen. Struggling to find your identity, wanting so desperately to be noticed by someone. For anyone to reach out and help you. 

But you took that away from her. You ended her life before it even began.

“Are you guys okay?” You heard Prentiss come up through the basement, but your eyes were closed as she entered the room. “We’re good. Y/n took the shot.”

Hotch stood up and dared a look at you, taking in your grief stricken state. “Did you find the boy?” 

“Yeah, he’s gonna be fine.”

Before Emily could greet you, you ran to the corner of the room, heaving up whatever was inside your almost empty stomach. Your throat burned as you threw up for a second time, vaguely registering two people calling your name.

“You’re okay, y/n,” Prentiss approached you, gently resting a hand on your back. You coughed a few more times before a towel was being rushed to your side. “It’s okay.”

The whirring of more sirens forced you to open your eyes and straighten up from your sick position. Prentiss had eyes filled with concern, not letting go of you until you gave her a slight nod. She handed you a water before she exited the house, letting two uniforms in. They went straight to Hotch, asking questions and looking over the body before their eyes landed on you. You felt exposed, like you were the one lying lifeless on the ground for all to see. You took a few deep breaths to get your breathing under control, and tore your gaze away from Stephanie. 

Hotch finished his conversation with the officers before walking over to you. “Hey,” He rested a hand on your shoulder, and you couldn’t help but flinch. “It was a clean shot, but protocol states they have to take your gun and badge as well as give a statement to IA.” You nodded, taking your badge from your pocket. “They’re gonna take you back to the station and do an interview. This should all be wrapped up in a few hours. We’ll meet you back there, alright?”

You glanced up at his big brown eyes, warm as they bore into yours instead of their usual slanted nature. “Okay.”

The two officers escorted you to their patrol car, taking your badge and gun before you got in. You felt naked without them, like you were a nobody wandering the streets looking for someone to help, or looking for someone to help you.

It was a good thirty minute ride to the station from the cabin, and when you got there a detective from IA was already waiting for you. They led you into an interrogation room where they already had Section Chief Strauss hooked up through video call. Great. 

The questions they asked were pretty straight forward, nothing that couldn’t be answered by a crime scene report from the technicians. But the government insisted on interviewing cops involved in shootings, just in case it wasn’t legal. As if anyone wanted to deal with the psychological repercussions of taking another’s life. 

It took them nearly an hour and a half to get through the interrogation. In part due to you almost throwing up a third time as Strauss asked you to repeat the moment you shot Stephanie. They gave you a few minutes to regroup, some ginger ale and crackers from the vending machine to help settle your stomach. They took your fingerprints last, letting Strauss finish up with the bureaucratic discussion.

“That’s all for now Agent L/n. We’ll debrief tomorrow morning when you’re back in Quantico.” “Yes ma’am. Thank you.”

They led you out of the interrogation room and back through the lobby leaving you at the conference room your team had been set up in the last three days.

The white boards were still littered with images of the victims, crime scenes, and the unsub. Piles of evidence were scattered along the table, and you tried to resist looking through them again. You knew if you went through the images of the mutilated boys again, you wouldn’t survive the emotional turmoil. But you needed to know that you made the right choice, the only choice to prevent more families from going through the same pain and suffering as the Corbins. 

You turned to the white board, glancing at the first victim. Connor Corbin was fifteen years old, on the varsity soccer team, and involved in musical theatre. He was cousins with the teenager that abused Stephanie. She targeted all the men in her abusers life, letting them know what he did to her. Wanting them to understand the pain she’d had to endure because of their ignorance.

You looked through the rest of the victims, the abusers two younger brothers, father and uncle were among those killed. The boys were only twelve years old. You brought a hand up to cover your mouth, remembering meeting their mother on the first day you were here. JJ was the one to speak to her, as the communications liaison, most people trusted her with being the most empathetic. That fact was up for debate, in your opinion. She was a wreck, and JJ needed help comforting her from Morgan. But you understood, boy had you understood. Her whole family was killed. 

“Y/n,” You jumped, startled by the new voices in the room. Hotch, Spencer, and JJ had arrived back at the station. “Did they clear you?”

You nodded as Spencer walked over to you. “Yeah, Strauss just wants to debrief again tomorrow morning.” “Of course she does.”

Section Chief Erin Strauss is a hardass and not the biggest fan of the BAU. “Did they give you your piece back?” Your hand immediately flew to your left hip, void of your gun and holster. “No, I completely forgot about it.” You went to move toward the door, but Spencer laid a hand on your forearm. “It’s okay, I’ll get it.” He gave your arm a comforting squeeze before leaving the conference room. 

You spared a glance at Hotch as you started cracking your knuckles. “JJ, why don’t you call the airstrip, tell them to get the jet ready.” “Yes sir.”

In an effort to keep your mind busy, you started to take down the pictures from the white board, erasing all Reid’s notes in his barely legible handwriting. The boy had three PhD’s, yet couldn’t figure out the concept of penmanship. 

“Are you alright?” “Fine.” You pulled an empty manila folder out, stuffing Connor’s pictures in. “You don’t have to clean this up for them.” “I know.”

He sighed. “Y/n, stop.” His voice was stern now and you dropped the files. “I asked if you were alright.”

“Why wouldn’t I be alright, Hotch?” You crossed your arms over your chest, letting a breath out. “We found her, we saved her from hurting anyone else, and we brought closure to Mrs. Corbin. Case closed, the BAU gets to go home.”

Your eyes started to water but you refused to bring your hands up to wipe them away. You wouldn’t let them fall. “We’ve all been where you are right now.”

“I’m confident that you’ve never felt what I’m feeling before.”

“Try me.” He didn’t flinch, his hands remained in his pockets, stare heavy on your own. 

“When JJ presented this case to us, that two teenage boys and their fathers had been murdered, it was a no brainer for all of us to take it. Two twelve year old boys dead, two more teenagers missing, how could we not take it? But then we got here, and we met with the victims' families, we learned the boys' backgrounds, the unsub’s profile.” You scoffed, not sure who you were angered with at the moment. “This girl was raped by a seventeen year old boy and his father for two years, and we’re still supposed to treat her like a monster, like Tim Vogel?” You shook your head. “I’m not condoning what she did, but, can you blame her? And then we went in, and she had a gun raised at us. I would’ve been able to talk her down, I know I could’ve saved her if she didn’t have the gun.”

“But she had a gun.” You nodded. “She had a gun and it was raised at you. And I didn’t even flinch to take the shot. All it took was two seconds for me to forget her pain, her trauma, and reduce her to a sick serial killer.”

Even though that’s what Stephanie ultimately was, you didn’t want to accept it. Because she was a person before she went through all that pain, she was someone’s daughter, who was involved in gymnastics and softball, and had stuffed animals scattered across her bedroom. God, were you ever going to forget what she looked like?

“Feeling guilty about taking someone’s life is a good thing. It means your human, that you care.” Hotch freed his hands from his pockets, taking the file you packed out of your grip. “You’re not like them, y/n.”

You dared a glance at him as you felt more tears spring to the surface. Those big brown eyes could tell a story all on their own, and right now, they were pleading for you to believe him. You would try. 

“Got the goods.” Spencer came back in, your gun and credentials in hand. “They really had the audacity to I.D. me, as if we hadn’t just worked a case with them the last seventy two hours.” 

He got you to laugh, which served you enough cover to wipe your eyes dry. And out of the corner of your eye, you thought you saw a rare smile cross Hotch’s face. 

But Aaron knew there was more to your guilt than just this little girl. He was the leader of this team, it was his job to know the people he was in charge of like the back of his hand in order to keep them safe. And in the year that you’d been here, he noticed how reserved you were. Too reserved and too broken for a twenty-six year old. How you took on the giver persona to hide the fact that you were terribly closed off to others and your emotions. You would be the first to offer help, to be a listening ear, or lend your shoulder to cry on. But you never accepted it from anyone. Not that you had to, until today. 

When Hotch started to notice you and Spencer growing closer at the three month mark, he was excited. Proud, even. He knew you were struggling with the gruesome cases (he knew you threw up after every crime scene, despite your best efforts with barf bags and travel size mouthwash) and hoped you could share your burdens with the young doctor. But it seemed like they only grew in time, like the smile on your face. Hotch just hoped you knew your limits.

“Gather whatever else you guys need for Quantico. Wheels up in thirty.” Reid nodded for both of you as Hotch left the conference room, presumably to find JJ. 

“Everything okay in here?” He asked as you continued to empty the white boards, this time at a faster pace. Of course he had noticed the red rim on your waterline and the red tip on your nose. Spencer could read you better than anyone else, regardless of being a profiler or not.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just talked through the case.” His feet stayed nailed to the ground, yet his eyes continued to stick to the back of your head. You sighed and stopped moving, turning to face him. “Spencer, I can feel you boring holes into the back of my head.”

He had a sheepish smile and ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry. We have copies of all this back at the office, I already faxed it over to Garcia. Why don’t we spend the next twenty eight minutes searching for a good burger before the flight home.”

You smiled. “Okay. As long as I can get a vanilla shake, too.”

****

May 2006

Growing up, you always wanted an office job. A boring nine to five with your own cubicle, a script to follow when your phone rang and a customer needed help. You’d have a generic wall calendar pinned on the particle board, sticky notes littering your monitor screen, and maybe a few pictures of pets and future family. It was safe, predictable, and what you were constantly told all you would be capable of.

Now, as you’re sitting on the FBI owned jet with your six special agent coworkers, you can’t imagine living that life you once dreamt of. 

It was nearing two a.m., and you were two hours into the flight home from Los Angeles. Reid was passed out on the couch, Prentiss and JJ in the same state of mind in the cluster of four chairs, legs spread out. Morgan and Rossi were sitting across from one another, each listening to their own playlists. And by the way Rossi was tapping his fingers against the arm rest, you knew it was some genre of opera. 

This left you in the back of the jet, staring out the window as you passed over Nebraska. You always had the map up on your screen, wanting to know every state you passed over. No matter the case, you always looked forward to the plane ride. It calmed you, oddly enough. 

“Not tired?” Hotch took the seat across from you, handing you one of the two cups of tea. “Plane rides are too exciting for me to catch any sleep.”

You took a sip of the hot drink and your face scrunched out of instinct. You never liked tea, but you tried it again and again when people assured you that it would calm you down. It never worked. 

“You could just say no,” He added and you smiled. “I know. But my taste buds may change one of these times.”

He took a sip out of his own cup, no change of expression on his face. You couldn’t help the chuckle that left your lips and his eyes narrowed on you. 

“What?” 

“Well, you may enjoy the taste, but it seems like it’s calming chamomile effect has never worked on you, either.” “We’re not supposed to profile each other.” 

“Then don’t even think about rattling off excuses of why I’m not sleeping.”

He looked down at his cup, slowly nodding his head. “Well if you don’t want to talk about what’s really bothering you, because I know it’s not sleep, I can bore you with Jack’s sleep routine we have to stick to.” You smiled. “You know that I’m the only one on this team that would actually be interested in Jack’s sleeping routine. Hell, anything with that chubby little baby would interest me. Bring it on, Hotch.”

It was no secret that Jack Hotchner was your favorite person on the planet. Not only was he the chubbiest little nugget you’d ever seen, he was the result of two of the strongest people you knew. 

The first time you met Haley, she was six months pregnant with Jack, begging Hotch to leave the office early for a date night. You made the afternoon walk up to his office, dropping off some files for him to sign when you first saw her.

“Come on, Aaron. This baby is going to be here before we know it, and who knows the next time we’ll have any alone time will be.”

Before he could respond, you knocked on the open door. Both of their heads snapped over to you, and a red blush of embarrassment spread across your cheeks. “Sorry to interrupt, sir. Just dropping off some reports for you to sign off on.”

You smiled at the petite blonde woman while placing the files on the desk. “It’s okay l/n. This is my wife, Haley Hotchner. Haley, this is Agent y/n l/n, she started about a month ago.” She smiled back at you, extending a hand to shake. 

“It’s nice to meet you, y/n. I’ll leave the agent part out, it makes you sound like a robot.” She said and glared at her husband before placing her hand back on her growing belly. You laughed once you heard Hotch let out a breath, knowing he wasn’t offended with her joke. 

“It’s nice to meet you too.” The smile only grew on your face as you looked at her, admiring her own belly. “Congratulations on the baby. It’s always exciting to bring a baby into the world.”

“Thank you. If only my husband thought going out with me was half as exciting, he would’ve been gone a half an hour ago.” “Haley!” He was more than surprised that she would speak so cavalierly while at the office, especially around someone he had barely gotten a chance to know yet. But the two girls only shared a laugh.

“Hotch, why don’t you go. I can hold things down around here.” “Y/n, it’s not your responsibility to. And quite frankly-” You dropped a file to the desk, boldly interrupting your bosses statement. You were only acting like this because you knew his wife deserved half the attention he gave to this place. “It’s a friday night, and your beautiful, pregnant wife is asking you to go to dinner with her. JJ and I will be here if anything comes up, I’ll even redirect your calls to my desk.”

“I like you.” Haley said with a smile, gently squeezing your shoulder. “She means business.”

Hotch let out a sigh, reluctantly grabbing his briefcase and punching a few buttons on his phone to make sure his calls went to you. “You or JJ call me immediately if I’m needed.”

“Promise. Now go have fun.” He gave you the smallest smile as he grabbed Haley’s extended hand to him. “Thank you, y/n. I owe you one.” Haley said as they exited his office. But you weren’t looking for a favor in return. You did this to make them happy, and you always felt better when those that surrounded you were at their best.

But Haley did end up paying you back. She asked you to babysit the first night her and Hotch went out after the baby was born. Apparently, she was impressed with your background in social services that Rossi had drunkenly let slip at the office christmas party. And only you would get excited to babysit a poopy baby, for free. And you continued to do it as many times as they needed you to.

You earned a smile from the reserved unit chief, and raised a fist in the air. “I’ll have to add that to the team tally sheet. I’m now tied with Reid for the lead in making you crack a human expression.” “Doesn’t matter who’s in the lead, you’re all behind Jack.” He quipped back and you returned his smile.

You looked back out the window of the jet, the view of any terrain was quite literally clouded. You could see the moon reflecting on the puffy clouds, and you knew then and there you could be converted to a night person if you could look at this view every night.

“I wanted to check in with you, about Randall Garner.” You looked back to your boss, eyes glued to your own, an earnest gaze in them. “With what happened last time-”

“Last time it was a sixteen year old girl. This time it was a psychotic father who was torturing his child. There’s a broad spectrum.”

“So you don’t feel guilty about taking his life?” The way your stomach flipped at the mention of your actions merely hours ago should have worried you more than it did. 

“Of course I feel guilty.” You quipped back, and quickly looked around to make sure you didn’t disturb anyone else. Hotch didn’t even flinch. “I didn’t take this job to play God. I wanted to help people, I wanted to stop people from getting hurt. To be on the other side of the heartbreak.”

Before transferring to Quantico, you worked as a social worker in Brooklyn for three years, straight out of college. You saw first hand the horrors and trauma that came with being in the foster system, and you wanted to help children going through the same situation you had. 

This became your life, even after you escaped it. And one day, it became too much. You needed a fresh start, to make a change and help people from a different platform. And with your degree in English, and minor in psychology, the BAU seemed to be a perfect fit for a new career. 

“Why did you leave DCFS?” It irked you to no end how his voice stayed so calm when he was clearly agitated. Especially since the silky smooth tone had talked you off an emotional ledge one too many times.

“Why are you interrogating me? Strauss said it was a clean shot, that she was proud to have a man like that dead and accounted for.” A direct quote from the ever emotionless section chief. If only she had any field experience, she would understand what this job was like. “Besides, I’ve been here for a year and half. You should have my file memorized by now.”

“Half of your file is sealed. Strauss must have a soft spot for you.” You actually laughed at that. Strauss most certainly did not have a soft spot for you. She was however under orders from the Attorney General of New York to keep my file sealed, no matter my employer. 

“My sealed file has nothing to do with the actions I took tonight.” You uncrossed your legs now and turned your body to face him. This conversation wasn’t ending any time soon. “If I needed help grieving this process, I would ask for it, Hotch. I’m fine.”

He wanted to believe you. More than anything else, he wanted to believe that you had found a routine that helped you forget the daily horrors you saw. But he knew that you were the last to leave the office every night, he knew you drove home with the light on in the backseat of your car every night. Deep down, he knew you weren’t fine. 

“We don’t ever truly know the people we work with. Despite the fact that we say there are no secrets in this unit, we all have our own demons we hold onto. I know you’re not fine, y/n.” You let out a strained laugh as you started tapping your foot anxiously against the ground. 

“I do though.” For the first time tonight, Hotch had no idea what you were talking about. His furrowed brow only made your throat tighten. “I know every single one of these people’s secrets. They confide in me because they know about my past with DCFS. Everything I knew was confidential, and it ate me up inside not being able to tell anybody the horrors these children go through.” You ran a hand through your hair; the flood gates were open. You feared there would be no turning back now. “It started out as me just wanting to get to know them. I wanted to be liked, and I wanted to trust my coworkers. And then overnight, I became Father l/n, sworn to secrecy by the Parish of the FBI. I’ve become a suggestion box, papers filling me up to the top and no one is coming to empty me out. 

“But I can’t even be mad at them,” I said as my eyes started to water, remembering what Spencer said to me two months into our friendship. “Spencer told me I’m the only person that’s ever listened to his problems without suggesting that he see someone to talk to. He said I was the only person that’s ever laughed at his stuffy jokes without making fun of him. I can’t be mad at them for confiding in me in their time of need. But I’m just,” You tried to smile as a tear rolled down your cheek. “I’m just really overflowing.”

Aaron Hotchner was lucky enough to have never experienced a heartbreak in his life. He met Haley his junior year of high school, she was his first and only girlfriend, hurling him into a life of love and happiness, sparing him any pain from loving someone too much. But as he watched you break in front of him, feeling so overwhelmed by the responsibility to be everyone’s rock, to be everyone’s source of light, he experienced his first heartbreak. And he was sure he never wanted to feel it again.

“So confide in me.” You didn’t think his tone could become any softer. His baritone voice had already been strained to keep from waking the others, and he somehow became even softer. But you shook your head, quickly bringing your hands up to wipe the tears that fell down your face. “Why not?”

“Because you’re the boss. You have all of us to worry about when we’re in the field. You have Strauss breathing down your neck, waiting for one of us to screw up.” He rested his elbows on his knees, slightly leaning toward you. “Most importantly, you have Haley and Jack that need you to be their confidante. That beautiful family needs you to be there when you’re not here.”

“Y/n, if you can’t come talk to me when you’re drowning in your own thoughts, I’ve failed you as a boss.” He sighed at your continued silence. “I can’t force you to open up. But I can’t watch you give and give and give without earning a reprieve of your own.”

So the two of you sat there, in a deafening silence, as you counted the seconds passing by. You were both too stubborn to pull away first, because that would be admitting defeat, and this conversation would end then and there. You counted to one hundred and eighty seconds, three minutes, when you finally got tired of staring into the endless brown eyes of Aaron Hotchner. 

You thought carefully about what you were going to say, what you would reveal in the magic that covered the two a.m. air. And no matter how hard you tried to in those one hundred and eighty seconds, you could not keep your eyes from watering.

“I grew up in foster care.” You started, scanning his face for any judgements. You weren’t going to find any. “The last, and most permanent foster parents I had were horrible. It was basic shit that happened to every kid in foster care, nothing scandalous enough to get them to be turned in. But their birth son,” You swallowed, trying to resist the urge to pick your fingernails. “He moved back in with them when I was fifteen. He was a loser, and he started to take a share of the subsidy checks. I heard him in the living room one night with Charlotte, one of the younger girls that lived there. She was only twelve, and I found him pinning her to the couch, a knife to her throat. And I just snapped. I lunged at him, knocking him off of her. It’s all blurry now, except for when I stabbed him in the throat.” My hand scratched at the side of my neck, subconsciously finding the spot I stabbed him. “He died before the ambulance got there. Charlotte and I both gave statements, and it was ruled as self defense. But the statement still lives in my file, and with some convincing, I got Strauss and DCFS to keep it sealed.”

In all honesty, Hotch didn’t know what to expect when you decided to open your mouth. But he never would’ve guessed this. Not from the doe eyed kid that never forgot a birthday, that got everyone a donut and coffee on Monday mornings. Not from the kindest person he worked with. 

“You know that took a lot of courage to get out, so it would be nice if you could say something.” You started to panic, wondering if he saw you as a monster, as a killer.

“You were the oldest one there, weren’t you?” Your eyes widened, how did he know that? “You grew up quick and took on the role of the parent for those younger kids. You wanted them to be safe, stay innocent for as long as they could.”

You finally tore yourself away from his gaze, starting to become too strong. Baby steps. 

“None of us had a family. I tried my hardest to shelter them from those people and make a family out of the five of us. And it worked. Because all four of them still reach out and tell me how successful they are.”

“But they don’t feel like your family.” You had a sad smile and looked back up at him. 

“Do you ever stop profiling?” He mirrored the smile you gave him. “No, they don’t. But I was old enough to understand that they needed each other more than I needed them. Besides, I found a pretty weird family to take me in.”

You earned another laugh from Hotch as you made a check mark in the air, referencing the team tally. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, searching through the cash and cards he had in there. 

“What are you doing?” He pulled out a thin wallet picture and turned it over to you. It was of him, Haley, and Jack on his first birthday. “You’ve got more than one weird family to belong to.”

He extended the picture to you, but you shook your head, the anxiety forming a pit in your stomach. “Hotch, this is your family. I can’t,”

“You can. And this family wouldn’t be half as happy as they are in this picture if it weren’t for you and everyone on this team.” You smiled down at the picture, Jack had frosting from his birthday cake all over his face. You reached out and took it between your fingers. “You’re a giver, y/n. You wear your heart on your sleeve and exude more empathy than we know what to do with.” You let out a laugh as you pulled out your own wallet now, tucking the picture in one of the plastic sleeves. “It’s time you learned how to accept the love you give.”

It was deep, too deep to be coming from your boss on the private jet at two in the morning. But he was more than just your boss, and they were more than just your team. And this job, boy this job was so much better than sitting in a cubicle, answering questions from a recited list.

****

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 11 - De Orfeo Records

Summary: Sunset Cure AU, Willex, is there a chance?, 2.8k

@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

WARNINGS: death mention

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

Reggie and Carlos were running around in the middle of taking down equipment after their latest gig. Luke shook his head as he wrapped cords over his arm and placed them in a storage box. Alex, however, was nervously trying not to get run into as he carried various pieces of his drum set out and handed them to Bobby in the back of the van. He could forgive Reggie not really helping out since he was taking responsibility for the kid, but also hadn’t anticipated that their energies combined would put him more on edge.

As he went inside to grab the last piece of his set, he found that Reggie had taken his flannel and tied it around his neck like a cape, with Carlos wearing his leather jacket in a similar fashion. They approached Bobby, who immediately joined their game and they pretended to battle each other. By the time Alex had finished getting his whole set in the van, they were playing out a dramatic victory over defeating Bobby.

“Guys, this is great, but we really should finish packing up,” Alex said, although he was smiling from the entertainment.

“I guess you’re the next bad guy we fight,” Carlos said in a mock-deep voice.

“We can schedule it later, Robin,” Alex teased.

“Oh, no, he’s Batman,” Reggie corrected. “I’m Robin!” He put his fists on his hips in a proud superhero pose.

A big SHHHHHH came from Luke and they all looked over at him to see what was up. He was far off by the venue office, holding a phone to his ear and writing onto a notepad. His eyes were wide with excitement, and his energy was only held back by the other hand tapping against the paper. The boys watched as his smile grew bigger and he said goodbye, barely putting the phone back in place properly.

“YEEESS!!” he cried, raising his fists into the air in celebration. They all came running toward him to see what had happened.

“Boys, we’ve got good news!” Luke told them. Looking on in anticipation, Alex gripped his fanny pack tightly. “One of the record execs that came tonight is offering for us to sign onto their label and put out some songs! He even heard our demo!”

Everyone celebrated, jumping up and down and high-fiving each other. Reggie let Carlos climb onto him in a piggyback and they both yelled triumphantly. Luke pulled Alex into a bro hug, then Bobby. Alex held his arms up and placed his hands on top of his head, unable to believe what had just happened. Euphoria filled his head like helium and he went to double-high-five Carlos, who was still perched on Reggie’s back.

“So what else did they say?” Bobby asked, still smiling.

Luke had to shake off some more excitement before he could explain the rest.

“Ahhh, so he said we could meet in a few days to discuss business and contracts and such, let us get a look at the studio and stuff. I got all his contact information and he’s totally excited to get us on. We’re moving on up boys!”

The celebration continued, and their renewed energy caused the rest of the take-down to go by much faster. They were still riding the high as they drove home. Alex listened to Luke talk about which songs they would want to record first and where they would land on the charts. He remembered that feeling he had back at the Pearl during their sound check. Doing that? For real and not just dreaming and hoping about it? They hadn’t made it just yet, but this was a change he could be excited for.

Reggie had been staying with Carlos, which the rest of the boys figured was a good excuse to not stay home. As Bobby pulled up to the house, he and Luke began climbing out of the van. Carlos and Reggie were already inside.

“Uh, guys?” Alex said, still in the back of the van. They all turned back to him. “What are you doing?”

“Oh,” Luke gestured like oh-silly-me. “We all decided to stay here for the night. It’s just a nice change from the garage and Julie’s aunt has lots of leftovers that need to be eaten so…”

“So...I’m grounded,” Alex reminded, raising his eyebrows. His parents hadn’t been happy about him sneaking out to the pier the other night.

“Screw your old man, Alex,” Bobby said.

“Yeah, he can eat my shorts if he tries to do anything about it,” Luke added.

Alex took a moment to think. Disobeying wasn’t going to do anything for or against him at this point - he kept anything truly important to him out of his parents’ reach and since he’d gotten the punching bag he could actually contend with their tempers. They couldn’t punish him in a way that mattered.

“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” he said finally, following them into the house.

They found Reggie and Carlos already raiding the kitchen.

“Alex, you’re staying too?” Reggie said when he saw them enter.

“Yes!” Carlos cried, pumping his fist. “You get to make popcorn. Tonight, the Empire Strikes Back!”

“Oh yeah, baby!” Reggie responded as the rest of the boys began following orders from Carlos. Alex wasn’t crazy about Star Wars, but eh….young Mark Hamill was hot so he didn’t mind too much. He was sure most of them would fall asleep during the movie anyway.

A couple hours later it turned out he was right. Carlos was slumped on the floor leaning back against the chair Luke was sitting in, hand still in the bowl of popcorn. Luke was leaning on his hand, breathing soundly. Alex had watched earlier as Bobby’s head flopped onto Reggie’s shoulder and the flustered look that had overcome Reggie’s face, and it was too good not to smile at. Once the VCR began automatically rewinding the movie, Alex shut off the TV.

He stared at the ceiling as he pulled the handle on the La-Z-Boy he was in and reclined into a somewhat comfortable position. Even now, weeks later after meeting for only a day, the first thing he wished he could do was tell Willie the news about the record label. He probably would have been just as ecstatic as the rest of them, if not more. Victoria would be back soon and hopefully have some news. He guessed it didn’t matter if he’d been right about the missing kid, but maybe just knowing if she got to talk with Willie would be enough.

The memory of soft brown eyes still rose in his mind. He’d been doing his best to keep that moment cemented in his brain because he’d noticed it helped him sleep. It was funny because he’d done the same thing with the guys, but staring into Willie’s eyes had been an entirely different experience. Alex wished he had the proper words to describe it, but the best he could do was marvel. Willie was clearly unaware of the strength he held, and it made Alex want to bring that out with his entire being. If he ever did get the chance, that would be something worth looking forward to.

Victoria didn’t arrive until the afternoon the next day. Since Alex felt that she had gone because of him, he made everyone else clean her house as well as they could. No traces of food on the floor, no messy beds, and the kitchen was cleaner than when they had found it. As she came back into the house, she put a hand over her heart.

“Wow!” she exclaimed. “I should take trips like this more often if you boys are this good!”

“Yes, tía, please, please, please let them babysit me again! Pleeeeaaassee!” Carlos begged with his hands pressed together.

“Ay, sobrino, no me quieres?” she shook her head.

“No, I do!” Carlos tried to recover. “But they’re fun!”

As if to make a point, Reggie rubbed a hand on Carlos’ head.

“It’s okay little dude, we’ll be back.”

Victoria pulled her wallet out of her purse.

“Well, you boys took very good care of him and I promised I would pay you, so here you go.” She handed each of them a generous amount of cash. Luke, Reggie and Bobby all whooped as they thanked her and headed to the van. Alex held back with anticipation. Victoria looked at him seriously.

“There was no connection,” she told him before he asked. “His guardian explained everything to me, and there was nothing else to go on. I wanted to know because I thought I could solve an old case, but I had to let it go.”

“Well, did you get to talk to him?” Alex tried not to sound too urgent.

“You mean Willie? No, I never saw him. After talking with his guardian I didn’t need to.”

Bowing his head, Alex made himself swallow his other questions. She had at least tried.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’m sorry if it was inconvenient.”

“I chose to go, don’t worry about it,” she assured.

Nodding and saying thanks one more time, Alex hurried out after the rest of his friends.

A few days later, the boys slammed the doors of the van shut as they looked up at the building before them. It was so plain and simple on the outside; they never would’ve guessed there was a studio there. It was likely they had driven past it many times on the way to a gig. Pushing through the door, they all looked at the logo in neon lights on the wall: De Orfeo Records.

Collectively, the boys took in awed breaths at the reality of where they were standing. This was too good to believe. Alex took in the scene, trying to imagine this being a place he came to regularly. Could he ever get used to it, or get over the sheer excitement of just being there? Luke patted him on the back, desperately trying to contain himself. They wandered through the halls a little bit until they came to a room where the door was sitting open.

“Oh, boys!” A man called as they almost walked past it. “In here!”

As they all shuffled in, the man shook their hands and pointed them to a couch where they could sit. Alex nervously stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he took a seat. The man across from them was dressed surprisingly casually, if not with obvious expensive taste. He still had sunglasses on, but their yellow tint was clearly not for actual UV protection.

“Nice to meet all of you,” he was saying. “My name is Alan, I’m one of the producers here at De Orfeo. Which one of you did I talk to on the phone?”

Luke raised his hand.

“That was me,” he said, already gushing with excitement. “How’d you hear about us, anyway?”

Alan didn’t answer, but instead looked up at the doorway as someone else came in.

“Hello boys!” Caleb Covington entered, his charismatic smile spread wide across his face. “So nice to see you again.”

Alex’s heart rate immediately sped up and he clenched his hands inside his pockets. How could it be? He thought his last chance to reach out to Willie was gone and seeing Caleb brought back everything he hadn’t been able to ask Julie’s aunt. All the guys were happy to recognize him.

“I won’t be staying for the negotiations,” Caleb said. “but I wanted to properly introduce myself as the owner of this label. I want to assure you boys the best experience as newcomers in the industry. Let any nerves that still linger walk right out the door.” His eyes landed on Alex for a moment, and it felt purposeful. “Take it away, Alan.”

Listening to the producer’s pitch was difficult to focus on now, and Alex had to fight hard against his brain latching onto the new hopes that had arisen. He was thankful that when paperwork came out, Bobby was mindful enough to have them read through it. It was taking too long, though, and Alex was already wishing he had his drumsticks in hand to help pass the time. Reggie had so many questions, and Luke had trouble understanding numerous words - at least that kept Alex occupied because he could be helpful in that. A good hour had passed going over all the information.

“This looks great!” Luke said finally. “How are we feelin’ boys?”

Each of them nodded and looked around at each other, confirming that they all agreed on every settlement. Luke grabbed a pen and pulled his copy of the contract toward him, pausing momentarily to drink in what was happening. Then he signed his name in giant letters. Alex, Bobby, and Reggie followed suit, and Alex could feel a weird tingle rush through his hand as he made the final flourish with his pen. They were all in now.

As the band began celebrating, Caleb knocked on the doorframe.

“If it’s alright with you boys, I wanted to speak with Alex privately for a moment,” Caleb said, gesturing for Alex to follow him outside the room.

His curiosity was at the point of overflowing, and he went out trying to control his trembling hands. Maybe Caleb had talked to Willie after all. This could be his way to bridge that gap and he wouldn’t have to live off of just memories.

Everyone else was still going nuts over getting the contracts signed back in the room. Standing in the lobby, Caleb was looking at him seriously, maybe even pitifully. It quickly drained the exhilaration in Alex’s chest.

“I can tell you’ve been wanting to ask me some questions,” he began. “But before you do, I thought it was best to inform you of some important details first.”

Alex looked up at him with his hands back in his pockets and gulped. Why was his heartbeat suddenly so loud? He knew Caleb couldn’t actually hear it, but it still embarrassed him. His mouth began to go dry.

Caleb furrowed his brow, as if what he was about to say wasn’t easy to get out. He bowed his head and took a breath before looking at Alex again.

“Willie,” he started. Then he paused. “Is dead.”

The trembling in Alex’s hands stopped.

He stared at Caleb, as if he could pull off the serious expression and find a joking smile underneath. It was a few moments before he remembered to breathe in, and blinking seemed to cut that moment into two as if the first one wasn’t real.

“No, no, that can’t - ” he heard the words spill out of his mouth. Why was his body so tense and ready to defend itself? His cheeks felt hot.

“I know the news is hard,” Caleb interrupted, placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I can hardly bear it myself. There was an electrical fire. He didn’t make it out.”

Alex could only shake his head. Caleb’s expression wasn’t changing and for some reason it was the most infuriating sight. He could punch that face and make him bleed if he really wanted to. The adrenaline was already rushing to his fist.

“There has to be a mistake,” he said, chuckling darkly.

“There is no mistake,” Caleb told him firmly.

How was the man so calm? How could he say those words out loud and not immediately crumble to the earth? How could he have worn such a large smile earlier?

“I know you two weren’t friends for long, but he made it clear you were important to him.”

The words came through as if from a tiny speaker. They’d only gotten one day and it wasn’t enough. Willie couldn’t go like that, he simply couldn’t - not when Alex needed to know if they could’ve ever had something real. He still wanted to know so many things about him and look into those brown eyes and soften the hard edges on them. He needed to - 

He was crying. On his hands and knees, trying to get the dark shadow that had grown inside his chest to come out. It made him choke. Caleb had apparently left him alone, unable to console him, and he felt hands on his back and shoulders as he fought to properly breathe. Luke was knelt down before him, mouth hanging open in want of words but not able to form any. Bobby was gripping his hand and supporting him as he and Reggie pulled him up onto his feet.

“We need to get him in the van,” one of them was saying.

Any movement from there was not his own. All three boys were trying their hardest to help the tallest member of their band out of the building. Everything was numb - like a machine that had broken down after being run too hard.

The brown eyes faded into darkness, murky and thick. There was no air in his lungs to scream into that dark, no tie-dye, no rolling of wheels on the sidewalk, no ‘ribbit’, no more wondering and hoping.

Dead quiet. That was all.

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 12

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff

; Word Count: 3.4k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: This one is from our lovely Hobi’s POV! He decided he wanted to take charge for a moment so...I hope you enjoy! :D please comment and send asks so we can taaalk :D

; Flower Masterpost

-

“FOR GODS SAKE GERALT CAN YOU JUST BLO- fuck, shit, cock sucker...ah fuck it all!” You hissed in anger, clenching the Playstation 4 controller in your hands tighter and shaking it wildly as your character, Geralt, died. It turned out that Hoseok had Witcher 3 and after binge-watching all of the Netflix Witcher show, you’d begged him to bring it over so you could play it.

Today he’d finally brought it, the small case catching his eye as he was grabbing his backpack and he’d quickly stuffed it inside. He’d promised to bring it two times already and two times he’d forgotten. Not today though, today he’d been good and remembered it.

That had been four hours ago, and you’d been gripped by the game since. In fact, you’d barely even stopped to take a drink, eyes focused intently on the screen as you fought, magicked and cursed your way free of fights in the virtual world. Needless to say, you were very enthralled by the game which in turn meant you had gotten progressively louder as you’d died from stupid things.

Not that you were dying because of anything you’d been doing of course. No, it was just your character was doing silly things like not blocking or swinging when you told him to. That was it. Hoseok had been assured by you many times at the start when he’d got a little concerned about how into the game you were getting.

That had been at the start though, and you were now so into the game, so unaware of your surroundings, that it was almost like Hoseok wasn’t actually here in the room with you. Your eyes remained glued to the screen the whole time. Which meant that you didn’t see the way he’d been pouting a little, starved of your attention as he played around on his phone aimlessly in an effort to entertain himself.

Hoseok loved watching people play games, he really did, but he was bored today. He wanted your attention; a novel concept to him as he’d never dated anyone who was more into video games than he was. Being on the other side of someone who avidly loved gaming was unusual and though he didn’t hate it...he just a bit like a child.

There was only so much playing with Kasumi he could do. And sure, he could read the book he’d found in your bookcase a few days ago or even play on your Switch while you entertain yourself, but he didn’t want that. He wanted to do something with you. He wanted to talk to you, listen to you talk and laugh with you.

He was being a brat basically, being a child about it. But despite that, he was also fully amused by your reaction to the game. This was the first time he’d ever seen you play a video game like this and the fact you became so fully immersed in it was exceptionally entertaining.

Why he was surprised about that, he didn’t really know. You most definitely had the personality of someone who would commit themselves to something 100% when they found a thing that was truly interesting to them. Just looking at the abundance of Pokémon around your apartment told him that.

But still...he wasn’t sure why he had such a strong desire for your attention. He was never normally like this with relationships, though admittedly he hadn’t had a relationship extend past three months in a while now. Not for lack of trying of course, but he’d just never quite found someone to click with.

And at the risk of sounding like an old man, at the age of 28, he wasn’t really interested in investing his time and effort into someone who he could already tell he didn’t particularly care for. Hoseok felt like there were three types of people by his age; those who had found love and were happy and content in it, those who weren’t interested in dating and were focusing on themselves and those who were in a relationship purely for the sake of it.

The first group had already started marrying and having babies, Namjoon and Jimin for example, while the second group showed no interest in any of that. Which was perfectly fine obviously. Taehyung and Yoongi were prime examples of people who had no interest and didn’t seem to show any indication of wanting to show interest.

But Hoseok didn’t want to be in the third group, dating just for the sake of dating. He’d done that for years now, had one-night-stands throughout his college years, and maybe even a few he definitely regretted in the end stages of high school. So he wanted what some of his friends had found. 

And he’d found that with you, which had been beyond surprising to him. You were most definitely not who he would have picked as his first choice to date, which sounded bad but he was just being honest. He hadn’t thought that he liked girls who liked cute things, nor had he thought he’d had the temperament and patience to put up with your anxieties and stresses.

He had though, finding within himself a deep need to make you happy and experiencing enjoyment at how slow things were progressing. His friends found it wild that everything was moving at a glacial pace and that Jung Hoseok of all people was going along with it and not complaining. But he liked it, he liked discovering your little quirks and traits slowly. 

It was like unwrapping a present, with each new thing he learnt about you being his present. And he loved it so much. Which meant that he enjoyed learning this new thing about you, or rather how intense you got in video games you liked.

But still...he wanted your attention.

He was like a child; a whiny and petulant toddler. He knew this, but he couldn’t stop. Almost didn’t want to.

Which is why he was slowly inching his way over to you on the couch, hoping that his slow movements would catch your attention. It was only when he was almost on top of you that he realised it wasn’t working, causing him to sigh deeply and flop back against the couch in what could politely be called a mantrum.

“Do you want me to order food? Or make food? I can make it...can’t guarantee it tastes great but I can make it.” Hoseok asked, his voice light as he questions you. And it’s like he never spoke with the quiet ‘hmm’ you give back to him. 

His bottom lip pushes out once more as he opens up his takeout app, inputting your address and ordering pizza for you both. There was no need to ask what you wanted, he knew what you liked by now. 

A sudden outburst of unintelligible noises from you causes him to look up with an amused quirk of his brow, watching as your face scrunched in annoyance as you shake your controller at the screen again, teeth gritted together. And suddenly, he’s not bothered that you’re not paying attention to him anymore. Not when you look that cute.

Slowly, he’s not entirely sure why he’s doing it quietly as well when you’re paying zero attention to him, he opens the camera on his phone and angles it towards you with a smile. He takes a few careful seconds to get the best angle before pressing the button, the shutter noise unnoticed by him as he checks on the photo.

Tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth slightly, he hums to himself as he opens up the photo editing app he has on his phone and begins to edit it. Shifting the exposure, contrast and more, he turns what could’ve been a boring photo into something befitting you.

“Did you just take a photo of me?” You ask suddenly, causing him to look up with wide eyes. For a moment, he’s too startled to speak before he gives a playful scowl, poking your side with a finger.

“Oh, so now you listen to me? Huh?” He teases, sticking his tongue out at you. Your eyes drop to it slightly before skittering away quickly, causing him to smile internally. Hoseok was not as immune to your glances and movements as you thought he was. He just chose not to do anything about them because he didn’t want to push you.

“I was listening...you just weren’t saying anything interesting…” The words trail off halfway through you saying them, as if you realise how offensive they could come off. Immediately your eyes widen, mouth opening in what he’s positive is an apology. He’d normally let you, knowing it would soothe your anxieties to know that you’d said sorry to him but he doesn’t care today. It didn’t bother him.

“I’m not gonna argue with you. But yeah, I took a picture. You looked cute, all focused. I never realised you become dead to the world basically when playing a game. I’ve been lonely.” Hoseok makes his eyes go big, an earnest look being matched with slightly pouting lips to give you a face of pure innocence.

It doesn’t work evidently, given the way you roll your eyes at him. But it gets a smile out of you so he considers that a win.

“Hoseok...I don’t really like my photo being taken…” You whine quietly, fingers playing with the controller nervously. Over the last four months, Hoseok had learnt to analyse your body's movements carefully. They spoke your inner thoughts more than your mouth did and he could tell that you were feeling anxious.

“Hey, hey...come here. Look at it...see I edited it! You’re gorgeous!” He turns his phone to let you see, smiling brightly at you as your eyes glance over it. Lower lip being chewed slowly, your shoulders deflate as you push it back.

“No I’m not, I look fat and ugly. I don’t have a good side.” Silence falls after that statement, Hoseok’s mind frozen in sheer disbelief at your words. He wants to sigh heavily, shout at you that you’re wrong. Every part of him wants to shake you and make you see that you’re beautiful, flaws and all. 

But he doesn't because he knows you wouldn’t like it. So instead he purses his lips, smacking them and making a noise as he tries to figure out a way to tell you that actually, you’re an idiot. He doesn’t want to hurt you though, so he knows that he has to tread a fine line.

Shuffling close, he presses himself to your side and holds up the phone to you, showing the photo once more. “I want to argue you with so bad right now, but all I’ll say is...you’re wrong. I think you’re pretty, cute even. Look at that scowl, it’s adorable. And look, you’ve seen the double chin I get when I’m laid down.”

“Oh please, as if that makes you look bad. You know you’re gorgeous, look at you.” You gesture at all of him, and he sighs, wrapping his arms around you tightly and kissing you all over your face until you’re no longer whining but giggling loudly. He doesn’t stop though, making the most over exaggerated noises as he does so.

“Oh no, oh no, the travesty of having to kiss this beautiful face. Oh please, I can’t handle it. It’s such a trial for me, to have to do this. Why couldn’t they give me someone less pretty? But it’s only fair that someone with my looks gets to kiss someone like you.” He gets the words out loudly between kisses, half laughing as he does it and fully enjoying the way that you practically shriek with laughter beneath him, body shaking.

Stopping, he just watches you for a moment with a soft smile, enjoying the brightness in your eyes that has replaced the fear and self-loathing. He really wishes that he could show you how he sees you compared to how you see yourself, but he supposes he’ll just settle for showering you with affection.

“Look...seriously...I like this.” He says quietly, resting his head on your shoulder as he shows you the photo once more. You don’t say anything this time, just look at the screen quietly with your head resting against his own. “Do you want me to delete it though? I will if you want.”

“No...if you like it...I just...I don’t have pictures taken often of me. I don’t really like it because I never really think I look good. It takes at least fifteen tries to get one I find acceptable for Instagram.” Chewing his lip, he sighs as he wavers on what to do. He doesn’t want to do something that will make you unhappy, but at the same time...he loves photography. And he wants to photograph you so badly. 

Proper photographs too, with his DSLR that he’ll edit with Photoshop on his laptop. He just knows that he can take photos that even you will love and he truly thinks they’ll be some of his best work yet. There’s no way he can go wrong when he has such a beautiful muse here.

“Seriously Hoseok, it’s okay. You can keep it. You have nice editing skills.” Smiling, he clicks through the menu options on his phone before he’s moving the photo slightly, setting it at the right size and centralizing it before saving it as his home screen. It’s only then that you realise what he’s done, eyes widening.

“Did you just make that your home screen?” You ask incredulously and he snorts, nodding with a grin as he shows you with pride. Carefully, he moves his app icons around until you’re no longer covered by them, letting him see you perfectly every time he unlocks his phone. He loves it.

“Yes I did, and it’s perfect. I’ve been wanting a photo of you for a while,” Glancing over at you, he smirks ever so slightly. “I know you’ve got a picture of me as your home screen. The one of me at Namjoon’s barbeque last year where I’m looking away. Jungkook took it and I had it for my Facebook profile for a while.”

The squirm you do let’s him know that you’re probably dying inside but he’s far too amused and pleased with himself over this. Honestly his chest had probably swollen three sizes in pride and ego when he’d glimpsed it the other day. There was something oddly satisfying at knowing you had him on your phone.

And now he had you.

Eyes widening suddenly, he shifts upwards to give you with a shocked look. “I just realised...we’ve never taken a selfie together! If you’re okay with that.”

“I don’t really take them often...you’ve seen my Instagram.” Snorting, he rolls his eyes and moves until he’s sitting up against you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and hugging you to him. You don’t push him away though, nor do you tell him not to take one.

“That’s a fucking travesty. You should bless the world with your face more. And you spend all that time doing that makeup!” Now it’s your turn to roll your own eyes, pushing at him lightly.

“I do that because I like it, not because I want to show off.” He opens up the camera app once more, shifting the camera to be front facing and watching as his screen fills up with your faces.

“Well you should show off. You’re really talented with it and I’m sure there’s loads of people that would like to see more of it. There’s like...a whole section of Instagram dedicated to it. I know, cos I looked after I saw your pictures. You could be like...the next NikkieTutorials or Tati Westbrook!” It’s only because of the camera facing you both that he sees your incredulous expression, brows furrowing in surprise before they morph into amusement.

“Have you been watching beauty YouTubers?” Glancing at you, he shrugs uncaringly.

“You like them, so I figured I’d see what they’re about. Not really my thing but at least I half understand what you’re talking about when you bang on about primers and toners and all that shit. Besides, I have discovered that they apparently live scandalous lives and I’m oddly entertained by all the drama even though I have no idea who they are.” Hoseok says absentmindedly, mind drifting back to all those drama videos he’d accidentally ended up watching when he fell down the YouTube rabbit hole one night.

You let out a peal of laughter, the sound bright and happy and it makes his stomach twist slightly to hear it. He likes your laughter.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually watched that. So does this mean we can watch drama channels when you’re here?” Letting out a deep and bone weary sigh, he nods slowly before leaning over to kiss your cheek.

As he does so, he quickly angles the phone and snaps a photo of you both. You don’t realise what he’s done at first until he brings the screen for you to look at, grinning down at the image of you both that has been immortalised in high quality pixels.

You’re laughing still, mouth stretched into a wide smile of joy while your eyes are closed, the skin around them creased ever so slightly from happiness. His side profile is clearly evident, the gentle lighting of your room surprisingly good for this picture and his lips are pressed firmly to the soft skin of your cheek, lip ring shifted into view from the movement.

There’s no makeup on your face and you’re wearing an oversized white shirt with Kirby on it while he’s in his usual band shirt. The difference between you both is startling, but it makes his heart flutter a little oddly as he looks at it with a gentle smile.

Looking over at you, he realises that you haven’t said anything about it and he worries that you’re unhappy with the photo. Instantly, he stresses that maybe he’d done a bad thing and he’s about to apologise to you, chastened by his excitement.

But then you give him a shy smile, leaning into him and burrowing your head into the space between his neck and shoulder. “I...I actually like that. It looks...nice. Though you should probably edit it, edit my flaws and all that.”

Giving you a deadpan expression, he just pushes at your shoulder before rolling his eyes. “I’m going to forget I heard that. So...anyway.”

Despite what he said though, he does edit it and shows you what he uses and what he thinks the best edit would be. He lets you play around with the editing too, smiling as you make the photo look horrific by maxing out different sliders before letting him edit it exactly how he wants.

And then once he’s done, he goes onto Facebook and uploads it as his new profile picture. 

The stunned silence from you has him looking over cautiously, taking in your shocked face which soon quickly morphs into shyness. It makes his chest hurt a little to see how you react to something as simple as him changing his profile picture to a picture of you both.

He doesn’t say anything though, recognising this as a moment that you’d need to work through it yourself. So instead, he presses his lips to your cheek once more before using his fingers to tilt your face towards his, capturing your lips with his. The movement is bordering on natural now, four months into your relationship.

“So...I ordered pizza which should be arriving soon. Think you might want to take a break?” Hoseok asks, nodding towards the screen where Geralt has been stood quietly for the last ten minutes as he’d distracted you successfully. Pursing your lips, you consider for a moment before shaking your head with a grin, picking up your controller once more.

And that’s when he realises that you had been paying attention to him the whole time. You’d just been refusing to give in to his whining. He almost says something before shaking his head with an exasperated smile, getting up when your doorbell goes off.

Well played, he thought to himself as he took the pizza boxes before standing for a few moments and watching as you became involved once more, well played indeed.

[nooneactuallyasked]

Diner Gal - Reggie x Reader Part 8

Requested: It’s a series, there are no requests here!

Word count: 2,560

Warnings: Cursing

Summary: Julie and the Phantoms ( + Flynn ) go to a musical diner/café/restaurant for inspiration and hopefully a future gig but they end up meeting a very special waitress.

Note: This one is really long- the next part will be out tomorrow so be ready for that! Enjoy!

Edit: I FORGOT THE TAGLIST I’M SO SORRYYYYY!!!!!!

Part 1 here   Part 2 here   Part 3 here

Part 4 here   Part 5 here   Part 6 here

Part 6.5 here   Part 7 here

---

“Hey, Diner Gal.”

Y/N smiled at the floor before turning around to face her surprise visitor, “How’s it hanging, Leather Boy?”  She probably wouldn’t admit it out loud but Reggie’s random visits were probably the main reason why Y/N had been arriving at work extra early and leaving extra late. “Alright, Julie is kinda freaking out and getting Flynn to help her pick an outfit and then Flynn freaks out and gets Julie to help her decide on a theme for the marketing stuff. You?” Y/N shrugged, “The usual.”

“So, what can I do you for?” Reggie looked down, a red flush covering his cheeks and the tips of his ears, “Well, I kinda wanted to just hang out because Julie and Luke are “writing some songs” but we all know it’s just a date and Alex is with Willie and I’m willing to bet my left sock that they’re on a date too and I didn’t wanna be alone so I thought that you’re really nice so I came here.” A smile danced on Y/N’s lips and her gaze softened, he was too sweet and just hearing his voice made her cheeks heat up slightly. Reggie’s eyes widened and he met her gaze, a horrified expression painting his face, “Unless you’re busy, sorry, I’ll- I’ll just go-“

“Woah, Reg, chill out. I’ve just got to plan out the way we’re gonna decorate the room on Friday. Plus, I like having you around, it makes my job a lot less boring.” Y/N smiled before grabbing a black notebook an opening it to a new page, she scribbled down a title so she’d remember what it was for before bullet pointing her ideas. “You know, I just realised, how much work do you do? I mean, you’re around the same age as us, you have a job and you basically co-manage this place whilst also working here as an entertainer. Do you even go to school?”

Y/N chuckled and turned to face him, “This is a part-time job but I do usually sneak in extra hours just to help out Cal, he can’t do everything by himself and there isn’t anyone else to help him, plus he’s a family friend and basically my uncle at this point. As for school, I do online school which I pay for with this job, and it all comes full circle.” Reggie frowned, “Still, it sounds like a lot. You should come to Julie’s sometime during practice and just hang out. No folders, no notes, no work, just hanging out and having a good time! And  promise me you’ll start taking it easy”

“Alright, Leather Boy, I promise and maybe I’ll take you up on that someday. But for now, just focus on your gig that’s coming up in two days, not including today of course. Speaking of, do you mind helping me out with this, I get the impression you have a lot of ideas locked up in that brain of yours.” Reggie looked at her in surprise, “You really want my help? I mean, you could ask anyone for help, why me?” Y/N stared at Reggie, her brows furrowing as a  worried expression crossed her face, “Why wouldn’t I? Reggie you’re amazing and I wouldn’t want anyone else to help me.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

---

“Finish up these papers for me, I’m going out.”

“Cal, I’m already doing more than I should, I have to finish off an essay and send it in before lunch. You haven’t even started your time listings for today yet.” Y/N blew at a piece of hair that kept falling into her eyes and glared up at Cal.

“I said finish them, I’m going out.” Cal slammed the papers onto her desk and walked out of the office. “Cal, what the fuck!” Y/N stood up, her chair slamming into the wall behind her as she ran after him, papers in hand, “Where the hell are you going?” “Out.”

Cal shot her a cold glare that made her freeze in place before walking out. Y/N groaned in frustration, throwing the papers to the floor, “Shit, fuck, kill me.” Sighing, she knelt on the floor and gathered the papers back up. “Fucking asshole, but he might have something important to do and he’s just stressed about it. Calm down, Y/N.” She kept muttering reassurance to herself so as not to lose her temper once again.

Y/N glanced down at the paper, it was her schedule for the note giving out extravaganza. Oh fuckerooney, she was meant to do that now and she was already late. Y/N ran into the office and stuffed all the notes into a bag which she slung onto her shoulder before sprinting out into the street and making her way to her first stop: Firecracker’s house.

---

“Y/N? You look like you ran all the way here…don’t tell me, you did, didn’t you.”

“Perhaps.”

Julie rolled her eyes despite the grin growing on her face, “You’re an idiot, you know that, right? And your face is really red.” Y/N gasped dramatically, bringing her hands to her cheeks in comical shock, “You don’t say?”

“Julie! Who’s at the door? Tell them to go away, we need to practice!” Both girls stared at each other for a second in slight shock before bursting into laughter, Y/N cleared her throat before turning to Julie, “You might want to cover your ears.” Julie raised a brow but complied as Y/N took a deep breath, “Oi, dunderheads! I thought you wanted your notes but I guess not!” Silence followed and it everything in her to not burst out laughing or snort. “And go…” Julie furrowed her eyebrows and the snickered at the sounds of scraping and scrambling that came from inside the garage.

“No! Please, give us the cheat sheet so we can win!”

“Not a cheat sheet and it’s not a competition but yes, please ignore him! We need your help!”

“Wait there’s a cheat sheet? No one said anything about a test!”

“Okay, boys, chill out and let her breath before she joins you in the afterlife.” Y/N sent Julie a grateful smile before setting the notes down on the coffee table and quickly stepping back as the boys (specifically Luke) dived for them. “So, as per mandatory instructions I need to explain the notes and help you use them to your advantage but I also took on all of Cal’s work until the weekend alongside my own so I hope you don’t mind me checking the finance’s, writing setlists and my essay and other work stuff. I promise you will still get the full explanation for each and every note!”

“You took on more? You already have so much, you promised that you’d take it easy!” Y/N rubbed her knuckles, “I know but Cal walked out on me earlier and hasn’t been himself lately so I needed to pick up where he left off. Plus, all the other workers need a manager and so that’s what I’ll become.” Julie sighed, stroking her finger along the piano keys as she sat down, “As longs as you’re sure it’s okay.” Reggie furrowed his brow but picked up his bass and slung it over his shoulder nonetheless, his concern and probable disappointment made the nasty, sinking feeling of guilt weigh down on Y/N. She didn’t like letting people down but she needed to do this, for her family, for Cal, for herself.

“So let’s do this, you can read through it and then I’ll walk you through it all.”

.

.

.

“Oh! Julie, can you call Flynn? I’d like to see what she’s got before putting everything out there.” Julie frowned, “Are you sure, you’re already doing so much, I don’t wanna-“ “Julie, it’ll be fine just call her up, I’d rather get this done, it’s now or never.” Luke snorted, Alex rolled his eyes but smiled and Reggie choked causing Y/N to raise a brow before shrugging it off, she just needed to see this through and then maybe Cal would be okay again.

A small smile made its way onto her face when she saw Julie and Luke link pinkies behind the piano, she didn’t that was possible but they were cute so you didn’t particularly us. And hey, she got Luke’s nickname spot on, so there’s also that.

“Okay, if you’re sure then I’m sure Flynn will be delighted.” Y/N grinned, “Sweetness, let me know when she’ll get here so I can prepare a space the printer in our office back at the diner.” Reggie furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, kinda like a confused puppy, “How do you prepare it? Are you leaving already?” Y/N chuckled and shook her head, “No, the printer is wireless and connects to all of the staff’s phones and laptops. Since I only have my phone on me I’ll be using that.”

“Ohhhh! That makes sense!”

“Yeah, Willie said something like that when we went sightseeing and we say printings being put out without anyone nearby.”

“That’s stupid, just draw them or something, what if the wireless breaks?”

“You’re talking loud for someone with bad handwriting.”

---

“Hey everybody, your favourite manager has arrived!”

“Thanks for coming, Flynn. Y/N is just setting up the wireless connection back to her office, have you got a copy of the flyer or something?” Flynn grinned, “You know I do, and can I just say that I really appreciate me and my talents and you should too. You’re welcome.” Julie chuckled and led Flynn over to Y/N who looked up at them with a smile. “Hey, Flynn, it’s really great to see you again. Sorry about the short notice.” Y/N picked at the tips of her nails, a bashful smile making its way onto her face, “No problem, since Julie ditched me for her invisible boyfriend and his band geek friends I haven’t had much chance to hang around, now you’re my excuse.” Julie rolled her eyes as Flynn stuck her tongue out in her direction.

Y/N chuckled and put her phone down beside her, “Well, I’m glad to be of service. So, may I see your masterpiece?” Flynn grinned and pulled her phone out of a pocket, “I thought you’d never ask.”

---

“Thanks so much, Flynn. Your flyer’s amazing, we might have to hire you properly.” Y/N winked, a bright smile on her face, “Really? I mean, these guys really need my talents but if I find some time away I might drop by.” The two girls laughed and then a thought popped into Y/N’s head. She rummaged through her bag and brought out her notebook; she ripped out a page and wrote her number onto it. “Here, Julie already has pretty much all of my contact info but I just remembered you don’t, so here’s my number.” Flynn smiled, “Thanks, I’ll put it in my phone when I get home.”

“Y/N! Do your job and help us now!” She rolled her eyes and stood up, “Once again, thanks.” Flynn sent her finger guns in return. She walked over to where the ‘band geeks’ were congregated around the piano.

“Okay, so it says ‘Remember to interact with audience members’ and ‘Move around when possible’. What does that mean?” Y/N smiled and leant against the piano, “The first one is simple, Cal really liked how you guys react with each other but since we are a performing diner the audience want to be included as well, so interact with them, send them smiles, wave at specific people, pick people out of the crows, that sort of stuff.” She shifted her body to a more comfortable position, “As for moving around, again, we’re a performing diner, everyone will have a mic pack, since you can pick up, hold and wear physical things I’m gonna assume you can wear mic packs too. I don’t know how your amps work though so just move as much as possible, Julie if you can do the most moving around that would be great, we’ll have some performers dancing and working around you but you guys are our main attraction when you’re performing. Just do what you can to the best of your ability, that's all we ask.”

“Well, I’m sure we can do that, right, boys?”

“Obviously, have you not heard us rehearse this week? We’re going blow everyone’s socks off!”

“I have a feeling anything could go badly though, what if the mic packs don’t work or one of us doesn’t appear when we start playing, or- “

“Alex, chill out, this isn’t a second hotdog, and if it is we’ll eat it so it knows who’s boss!”

“Uh, Reggie, that’s how we died, I’m pretty sure the hotdog won.”

“Huh, yeah, that checks out.”

Julie and Y/N caught each other’s eyes and burst out laughing, “Can you guys stop having your little ghostie jokes, I’m trying to boast that I’m well on my way to being a famous manager to the She-Devil herself!”

“Well, now I’ve fulfilled my part of this mission I have to head off to my next mission, Agent Y/N is officially signing out.” Julie smiles and Flynn walks up, “It was great to have you on this mission, we wish you luck in your next. Stay safe Agent, we hope to see you again.” The three girls saluted each other before snickering while the boys stared at them in confusion. Y/N walked over to her bag and slung it over her shoulder, “I’ll see you guys later.” She pushed open the garage doors, waving goodbye one last time before walking out.

Y/N started walking down the path before a loud smashing sound caught her by surprise, “Wait!” A weird sensation spread over her hand, it was warm but cold and it made her skin tingle before she felt pressure replace the weird feeling and fingers curl around her hand. “How can I help you?” Y/N turned around, plastering her customer service smile onto her face.

“Leather Boy?”

She turned to see Reggie standing there completely frozen, holding onto her hand as though it were a lifeline. “Reggie? You okay?” Reggie shook his head slightly and smiled before looking down, a sheepish expression crossing his face, “Can I hug you? Please?” Y/N’s softened and smiled brightly, “Of course, Reg. Come here.” She reached up and looped her arms around his neck as he buried his face into her shoulder, “I don’t get many hugs, the guys don’t like them and I feel like it would be weird to ask Julie.”

“Well, you can hug me anytime…that sounds really weird.” Y/N chuckles as Reggie gazes at her in admiration, “So what did scream at me and- break a plant pot for?” Y/N peers behind Reggie and finds the origin of the smashing sound. “Uh, well I was going to just say goodbye but since we’re here would you mind if I came by the diner later?” Y/N smirked, “Can’t get enough of me?” Reggie grew flustered and turned his gaze to the floor, “Well- I like looking at the food but you being there is definitely a positive.” Y/N blinked, now it was her turn to be flustered, she didn’t expect him to just come out and say something like that.

“Right, yes, well, I’ll see you there then. Um, bye.”

“Yeah, yeah, goodbye.”

---

Taglist:

@hereforthejatp

@slutforjjmaybank​   @morganayennefertyrell​

@dxestars​   @dcnerd98​

@ultraworthlessbitch​   @revolutionary-werewolf-ghosts

@underc0vercryptid-reads​   @miisacore​

[yuthoe]

aaa okay so looked at the rules and could you do their idol crush admitting that they’re their type but with yuto, wooseok and kino? 🥺

HELLO, I FINALLY DID IT, SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT.It’s almost 4AM here and I wanted to get this out in case I become unproductive again when I wake up. I was halfway through Kino’s part when I realized the reader should be gender-neutral, oops. It’s too late for me to edit it again right now, so it’s gonna stay like that. I’ll take care next time, tho.

WARNINGS: none. WORD COUNT: 842, 971, 632.

—

Yuto

“Yuto-ya,” Hui called from his spot on his tiny couch in Yuto’s studio. It’s one of his rare days-off, but he isn’t in the mood to go into the city, and staying in the dorm is too boring since everyone else is busy with their other stuff. So he just decided to tag along with Yuto to his studio and listen to him make some songs. He might even sneak in a nap or two since he hasn’t been sleeping well later—but all thoughts of sleep fly out the window as soon as he sees on his phone a newly uploaded video starring you, known in Pentagon as Yuto’s crush. “Yuto-ya, come here!” he says, tossing the stuffed teddy bear at the boy sitting by the computers.

The toy hits Yuto square in the head and he jumps, turning the seat around in confusion. “What is it, hyung?”

Hui turns the phone so the screen is visible to Yuto. “Isn’t this Y/N?”

A quick glance and, yes, it’s you. Yuto likes to think he can find you in a crowd, no matter how many hairstyle changes you gave or how much you try to blend in with your clothes, but that just comes off kind of creepy. He has watched a lot of your interviews; and you have a lot of them, being a big figure in a famous idol group. He’s just so captivated by your range, your stage presence… It just gets him breathless whenever he sees you perform.

Your group is in the middle of a comeback right now, and Yuto has been religiously keeping up with any promotional material for your group that’s been coming up, but he’s just been super focused on his music today that the only thing that shocked him out of the haze was the teddy bear thrown at his head. Yuto stares at the tiny phone screen for a second longer before getting off the office chair and squishing beside Hui on the couch that isn’t really made for someone of his size.

The video continues playing as his leader turns up the volume. Your group is sat on swivel bar chairs in a white studio set. Gosh, you look radiant, as always. The pleasantries are over and the topic has gone to the announcement your company made about being able to date openly. Yuto isn’t lying that there was a tiny spark of hope that lit up inside him when he first heard of the news. But of course, that was just wishful thinking, since he doesn’t think you actually know him anyway. Sure, you may have heard of Pentagon the group, but there isn’t as big a chance of you taking an interest in him.

Being seated on the farthest chair from the hosts, your answer is saved for last. The other members of your group dodged the question by saying they weren’t really looking to date anyone or dropping names like J.Seph from KARD or Vernon from Seventeen being their ideal type of guy. You take a second or two more to think about your answer and say, “I’d like to get to know Yuto from Pentagon more.”

“Oooohhh,” the hosts exclaim. “He’s one of the rappers isn’t he?” one of them asks.

“Yes,” you say politely, smiling. Yuto isn’t sure if you’re actually red in the face or if that’s just the blush on your cheeks. “I really like the flow of his raps, and his voice is really nice.”

“Ahh, so you’re saying you like tall guys, yes?” the other host teases.

You laugh, slightly embarrassed. “I guess? I don’t really have a type, but Yuto was the first person to pop into my head who I am really interested in and would like to get to know.”

The hosts nod in approval, and your group members seated around you slap you playfully for admitting something like that.

Hui releases a high-pitched siren sound and playfully slaps Yuto playfully on the arm with his free hand. “Do you hear that, Yuto? Seems they like you, too. I wonder if we can go to one of their recordings for this comeback, hmm… Or maybe if our comebacks coincide you can talk to them then, huh?...” Hui continues to rattle off possibilities of Yuto getting into contact with you.

Meanwhile Yuto is still staring at the screen, frozen. The video continues to play, but he isn’t registering anything. Did you really just say, out loud, with a mic on, that you want to get to know him more? Like, he isn’t hallucinating that? Those words really came out of your mouth?

His chest is tight. It burns, but it’s also light. Yuto can’t put into words the feeling. Your sentiments are intangible, and there weren’t even any promises of actually going through with meeting up or exchanging numbers…

But it made him giddy. Indescribably happy.

He lets slip the tiniest of smiles as he continues watching the video and Hui mutters to himself about possible get-togethers with your groups.

Kino

It’s been a habit of Kino lately to listen to podcasts when he gets back to the dorm, as a way to unwind after a busy day. Not because he listens to them (although he does find time to listen and pay attention some other time), but the sound of amicable voices in the sometimes empty dorm is a comforting presence.

One of the podcasts he’s been listening to lately is called Ladies’ Room. His sister told him to listen to one of the episodes, and he found the discussions fun and educational, so he decided to just follow it and he’s updated with the latest one. So when a notification pops up on his phone about a new episode with a special guest, he immediately blasted it on his Bluetooth speaker.

“Hey, guys! This is Soo Ri and you’re listening to Ladies’ Room,” the host’s voice, like a droplet of water falling into a crystal clear puddle, slithers out from the speaker. “Today, we’re talking about love and relationships with a very special guest… idol-slash-actor-slash model, Y/N!”

“Hello, everybody!” you say, in a sweet cadence like a breeze rustling windchimes.

Kino almost drops the container of microwavable tteokkbokki he’s holding and looks at his phone, scandalized, as if it personally offended him. Obviously, it wouldn’t be a stretch for you to guest in podcasts, and even less of a stretch for you to guest-host this particular podcast, but Kino is still surprised. He can’t deny that it feels nice to know that he found you so unexpectedly.

Kino can’t remember when he started taking an interest on you. There was just one time when everytime he turned on the TV he would see your face—in a commercial, a variety show, a drama, that he finally decided to check you out. And from the first music video he clicked, he was hooked on you. Your way with words, your voice, your personality all just made him really want to know you more.

He doesn’t call it a crush, although to Yuto and Wooseok, the only two other people who know about his fanaticism, it comes off that way in droves. He shakes his head and finally unfreezes, putting the tteokbokki in the microwave to heat up. His ears automatically pick up the conversation.

“I know you must be really annoyed and fed up by questions like these, since I watch a lot of your interviews and the hosts ask about it a lot,” Soo Ri begins. “But what’s your stance on ideal types—like your ideal guy, or girl—and do you have one yourself?”

“Aahh, yeah, I do get questions like that sometimes, but they’re in different contexts, so I don’t really mind them.” Kino thinks that’s a polite answer and mentally claps. He hears you take a deep breath before saying, “I don’t think having an ideal type is realistic, though. I mean, that’s what ‘ideal’ means: it’s your idea of perfection, the best. I guess it could be like a blueprint for what you want in a partner, but I don’t think it’s possible for you to be able to tick off all those boxes.”

“Oh, yeah, I get what you’re saying. That’s a really good point.”

“As for my ideal type…” You hum, seeming deep in thought, but not enough to cause dead air. “It’s not really an ‘ideal’ type,” Kino can almost hear the air quotation marks when you said the word and it makes him smile, “but Kino from Pentagon has a lot of the qualities I like in someone.”

By now, Kino had taken his food from the microwave and taken a bite. He freezes with a mouth stuffed with tteokbokki. The spicy soup stinging his lips assures him that he is definitely awake and definitely not dreaming. Did she just—?

“Yeah,” he hears, desperately trying to tune back into the conversation. “He has a very bubbly and fun personality. He’s humble and loves his members and his fans. He’s also very good at what he does—I’ve listened to some of his stuff on SoundCloud, and they’re really good,” you say, and Kino thinks he should probably start chewing before he chokes on the rice cakes. “I mean, his dancing is excellent, his voice is so nice, and he’s also super cute.”

At this, you and Soo Ri both laugh conspiratorially, as if sharing a secret only between you two, as if this podcast isn’t going to be uploaded somewhere anyone who has access to the Internet can listen to, somewhere Kino can access at a moment’s notice.

Kino’s sure his face is as red as the tteokbokki soup right now. Literally no one can see because he’s the only one in the kitchen, but his face is on fire. He continues chewing and stuffing the rice cake strips into his mouth as he spirals into a crisis. His idol crush actually likes him back? He doesn’t think you actually like him, but you did say that there’s some aspects of him you like. That’s kind of similar, right? Right?

The whine comes out garbled from his full mouth. On one hand, he feels way lighter, bouncier, more energetic at knowing that the idol he likes knows about his existence and that she actually likes things about him and openly talked about it on a podcast, oh my goodness is this really real, like no one is messing with me right now?

So Kino sits there, lost in thought as he continues spearing food with his chopsticks, thinking. About how to reach you, maybe get your number, maybe propose a tiny collaboration? Maybe? About how he’s going to act in front of you in the off-chance that you do meet, as you and Soo Ri continue chatting in the background.

Wooseok

He can’t help stealing glances at you—you look really good in this comeback, and it takes everything for Wooseok to not be too conspicuous and focus on the interview that coincidentally has Pentagon and your group as guests. He’d like to think it’s a dream, but really, it feels more like a nightmare because he’s seated right next to you and his members literally won’t stop looking back and giving him mischievous smiles, or turning their chairs towards your group and making small talk, trying to drag him into the conversation and he feels like a fool because he seems incapable of replying with more than two-syllable words.

And it somehow gets worse during the segments. Not that the hosts are bad—they’re really good hosts. It’s just that there’s a segment where they read selected fan mail, so they would all have to answer it because they don’t really want to disappoint the fans by deflecting. The first few were harmless: what food they like eating during summer, if you were an animal what would you be? But then it went from zero to 100 real quick as the third question is read by your group’s leader, “Which idol is your ideal type?”

Everyone can’t help but make exclamations, oohs and ahs as they think of an appropriate answer. The hosts are gracious and give everyone ten seconds or so to come up with their answers before coaxing out some people’s. Eventually the line snaked to you and you timidly replied, “Wooseok-sunbae,” while avoiding his eyes.

If Wooseok could see himself in a mirror, he would see his eyes bug out and threatening to pop from their sockets, mouth desperately pursing to prevent the huge smile forming on his face. He doesn’t know how to react—what should he do, Cube didn’t train them for this. He needs help and Shinwon keeps slapping his thigh and arm like that isn’t the most obvious thing to do when they’re being filmed.

He can tell you’re embarrassed. You’re facing the hosts, your back to Wooseok, though he’s assuming your face is super red right now, and it’s not because of the blush. He kind of just wants this to be over so you can have a reprieve, but the hosts (being hosts), ask you to elaborate.

“Um, he’s a really great rapper, and he seems really caring,” you say softly. “I watched a program with him once taking care of his cats, and I thought it was really cute.” Wooseok recalls that show and his chest loosens slightly at the mention of it, touched that you remember that tiny segment he did. He really loves his cat, and he’s not gonna admit it, but he likes that your takeaway from the program is that he looks cute playing with tiny animals.

“Ooh, yes, we love guys who are nice to animals,” one of the hosts says, and turns directly to Wooseok. “Wooseok-sshi, since she mentioned you, we’ll leave you for last, okay? So we can properly build up the hype for the viewers back at home.” The boy nods; at least this gives him time to think of nice things to say to you amidst the flurry of thoughts running through his head at the moment.

He imagines talking to you after filming is over and exchanging numbers. He imagines hanging out with you if you have any free time. He imagines maybe doing a small collaboration with you, wishes it were possible. The images he conjures up make him smile, even if he is still kind of embarrassed—he was never one of the cucumber-cool members of the group—but he decides that since you threw yourself off the boat, he might as well throw himself off and join you.

[dorkyungsoowrites]

Fatal Ties: The Ending

As promised, here's the plot bullet-points for the rest of this story so no one is left to wonder. When we left off, the Boss had just been shot at and was going to try figuring out who the mole was, who the perps were, and how to stop them while still going through with the wedding. I hadn't plotted out anything in detail, but here's the things I knew I wanted to put in. Oh, and a flashback that would reveal how the Boss became the Boss.

Message gets to the Boss to meet with mysterious people who shot at them. The fact there's no demands is fishy, but they go.

They have Kyungsoo hidden away ready to shoot if the meeting goes south. The person who shows up? The Boss' sister. *queue flashback*

(In the edits I was doing the pov changed and the bakery was instead a greenhouse cause I liked the idea that deep down this mafia boss just wanted a quiet life with their plants. So just to avoid confusion this is told from 3rd person pov, and it is indeed showing the day the Boss used a coup against their own father, but it was actually their sister who killed him, and they sent her away under the guise of protection. In truth the Boss pinned the murder on the sister and took over the business.)

They were standing in a vast, gleaming greenhouse awash with sunlight. Two rows of various plants and flowers grew on tables, leaves dancing in their warm glow. Two people stood in the center as they spoke alone. One of them carried an overwhelming sense of authority and sharpness. Wearing a pressed black suit and severe eyes. The other, with broad shoulders, looked right at home beside them.

There was something odd about the image, however. The emotions of the moment eclipsed details; softening and flooding out the edges with blotted blurs. The surroundings bent toward the two figures slightly, revolving around them, existing by extension.

A bright and fierce feeling consumed them. It beckoned they straighten their back. It filled them with elation and confidence.

The breeze sung, warmth and sweetness tickling their nose with a few wisps of hair. Distant concussions rang in their ears. That of hand-made rhythms and automatic syncopation like a crackling symphony. Fingers flinched by their hip, joints aching to grasp long awaited vindication.

A smile slid into place on the one with broad shoulders. Something older and deeper than amusement. It had the appearance of affection, but it was dangerous; too sunken and tight. "This is my kingdom," he said. "None of this would exist without me. Some delusional little girl won't change that."

"A kingdom is more than one person," they remarked, a sneer curling their upper lip. "You're not thinking."

"Am I now?" he marveled, teeth flashing. "You've spent your whole life trying to make me proud. Now you're going to give everything up for some petty cash?"

"Someone is."

"We could do that," he replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Or you could stay here while I go clean up the mess inside, and every time you lay down in the bed I bought, under the roof I earned, you'll rest peacefully, remembering when you chose to walk away."

"Just like some mindless, obedient bitch, right? Why would I go back to that?"

"Some paths are less traveled for a reason."

The air stretched, a tethered tension consuming the room. It seeped into their chest. The words agonized and twisted their thoughts into turmoil, but more than that, it galvanized their wounds. Defenses dissolved into truth. Their face went eerily blank, poised for one direction or the other. Weighing the words against their knowledge. On the cusp of their vision, a shape came with the wind that made the leaves tremble.

Clasping metal, their hand raised, and a gunshot shattered the air. Three heartbeats, then a dull thud and a crack. The sound resonated throughout the new space created; striking the emptiness from their gaze. As they looked down at the man collapsed on the concrete their eyes blazed. Watching him attempt in vain to put pressure over the hole in his chest, mouth gaping open and shut with no utterance. The bullet had hit just under his clavicle.

The color was ripped from his face. As seconds passed his brows set into a hard line, glowering up at what must have been just shapes and bright lights. Slipping into shock and the blissful numbness.

And their veins were white hot. Seething scars lurked in the tremor of their hands. Their knees hit concrete, fingers twirling the barrel of the gun into their palm, and rammed the blunt end down onto his forehead.

A fissure opened in his flesh. Hazed hatred in hard eyes and harder hands, his bloodied fist cloyed upward. Treachery painted their neck, warm and slick, and their insides revolted.

They brought the corner of the grip down once more, grunting with the force of it. That time a wet crackle was heard, tissue and marrow and matter opening like a rift in the earth. His eyes dimmed and shut. Fingers fell limp. Then they brought the gun to his face again, and again, and again. Beating, breaking until all the scars were his and retribution stained their very self, pooling around their knees.

They were left with shivering leaves and limbs, metal clattering to concrete. For a few moments, they thought they could feel everything. Beneath, the ground itself breathed with them. The immeasurable magnitude of their actions soaked the air; acid in their lungs. Stinging, shallow flexes damming their thoughts. The image of his bloodied skull battered and branded into their memory; proof he would no longer torment.

"We have to go." A set of shoes stepped in to view. Welcomed into the washed-out greenhouse; making it sharper.

Their gun was picked up. Then a gentle hand rested on their arm. The light straightened and the emotions drained; a hollowness haunting their eyes.

"Come on," the voice urged softly. "I'll take you out of here for a bit. What's that place you always talk about going to? The one in the mountains. We'll lay low there for a bit, and when we come back everything will be like it should. They know what to do."

It was a trusted sound, the promise of better circumstances. It had to be, coming from the one who had been bound for so long; now unbound and free to bind. The vindication was theirs to share. So they swallowed the bile and butterflies, and took the hand on their arm. Bundled in familiar security, warm with such flattering certainty. There would be no leaving the stranger path.

This little exchange (starting with the sister speaking) during the reunion that would confirm what happened in the flashback:

"At least I killed him on purpose. You're a glorified accountant. Dad would've squashed your guts like an ant. If I'm appalled with what you've become, he's rolling over in his grave."

"As long as he stays there then I don't fucking care."

The meeting basically just confirms all the "who's" and "why's" but not the "how". Sister who wants the business for herself, therefore stopping the truce by getting revenge on the Boss is top on her list.

Some more reconnecting, tied together by a homophobic dad. Then this schpeel by the sister as well for more context.

"I was cursed from birth, just like you. The daughter of a mafioso. There's a mark on my head always. Police want to lock me up, criminals want to use me to prove themselves to their own shitbeat dads, regular people are scared shitless they'll be arrested just for talking to me. You weren't protecting me! You threw me to the wolves! My own sibling..."

"The world took everything from me! Don-"

"No! You did that! You took everything, killing anyone who didn't agree with your grand vision!"

Hadn't decided how the Boss would get out of the meeting, but basically the tension would build cause now you realize the Boss hasn't done much actual killing themselves. But the sister? She' killed her family before; what's stopping her from doing it again now?

More bonding with Baekhyun. Teaching him things. Maybe try and get him to kill someone to prove himself, but he can't go through with it.

Boss is in the greenhouse the morning of the wedding, but Baekhyun is also there, and with a gun to his head, kneeling. Boss of course then pulls their gun on the person threatening their fiancé which is the sister. Then maybe this interaction (starting with the sister speaking.)

"Look at you, so proud to kill me. About to be the big boss who saves the day. Protecting everyone with this fucking contract and this ridiculous fucking sham wedding. You think this'll make things right? Just like killing our fucking dad and throwing me out was right because you "saved" the business? Because you were "protecting" me? There's no redemption for someone like you. No happy, fairytale retirement ending. I'll just be another body you leave behind. Go on, finish me. Send my body to Junmyeon and scatter me to the wind, but it won't change what you are."

Lots of twisted emotions, Boss on the verge of tears.

"...I miss my old sister."

"Of course you do," the Boss replied. "They were much more trusting and naive. Easier to kill."

"What happened to your ruthless energy? You used to have real ambition for this company. Now you want to play cottage lesbian with this dipshit?" A pause. "I'm tired of this bluff. Kyungsoo?"

Kyungsoo appears and restrains the Boss, taking their gun away and maybe holding a knife to their throat, voice in their ear.

"Be a good kitten and shut your mouth, huh? You had your chance." He turns to the sister. "Trade you for the dipshit."

Sister laughs. "He's all yours, love."

Kyungsoo was the mole. Twisty, yes? The irony being the Boss was worried Baekhyun was the honeypot, when Kyungsoo had been all along. Well, from when he actually started sleeping with them. He tried to get the Boss to change their ways, and when they didn't, the sister gave up and and gave in to vengeance.

As Kyungsoo trades, Baekhyun steals a gun from Kyungsoo's holster, presses it to his chest, and pulls the trigger. His first kill.

The Boss uses the distraction to kill their sister. Their final violent act. Both of them standing amidst the blood.

The truce is made, the Boss gets married, and both their souls are now corrupted and damned.

Hadn't totally decided, but if I were to lean toward a happier ending then the Boss would've raised up one of the others (probably Jongdae) to be the new boss, and they'd prove their sister wrong by retiring with Baekhyun to a small house with a garden. Well, they weren't totally happy after everything they'd been through, but they were content.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Going Through Motions{8}**

Title: Going Through Motions {8}**

Steve Rogers X Reader OFC Korral “Korri” Evans

Warning: Plot, Cursing, HEAVY Angst, SMUTTY SMUT SMUT, NSFW

Word Count: 6.8K

Summary: You and Steve had a hot, passionate, and wild romance seven years ago when you worked with the Avengers. It was the best year of your life; you’d never felt the things you’d felt in all your life. Then out of nowhere, Steve just ended things—in a letter. A heartbreaking letter, then the world deemed him a criminal, and he disappeared. Now, you’ve moved on and have gotten engaged to rich man Marc Spector. Tony brings you back to work with the newly rebuilt Avengers that is still led by Captain America who is definitely done asking for permission and not looking for forgiveness. Or is he?

Note: So, for this fic, we are going to alter the MCU timeline a bit. This takes place after Civil War, but Infinity War has not happened yet. Steve is off the grid for seven years before he comes back. {I know that’s a long time, but let me rock please} Also, I’m going to be introing/adding in Moon Knight (Marc Spector) in just because I feel like it and I want to start exploring other Marvel characters and of course I will twist him to serve my purposes.

**Loosely Edited/Proofread

~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Steve-

  Three times. Three times he’d had you. Three times he’d lost you. It was hard not to feel angry about it or entitled to what was his. You were his. There was no doubt in his mind that you were or not. Yes, you had a fiancé, yes you seemed to have moved on. Seemed was the operative word. He knew you hadn’t the first time he saw it in your eyes. It was in the bathroom after he’d shattered the mirror. He saw a glint of something that intensified, and he recognized clearly as love. When he first returned and saw you, he thought he saw it, but he wasn’t sure, and he was too afraid to look closer. He was fearful he really would see nothing but a wasteland of where love had resided.

  After the last two encounters with you, he was certain. You still loved him. Not only did you still love him, but you desired him. He knew that if you could push the man you claimed you loved to the side to let him touch you, kiss you, make love to you then it was not love at all. The fire between you had yet to fade. It had been that way from the day you’d met.

  Both of you knew the spark you felt knew the intensity of which your feelings arose, and though you both tried to deny it for several weeks, him the most; it was inevitable—your love was unavoidable. You couldn’t keep your eyes, hands, or lips off each other and neither of you had ever felt like that before. Neither of you knew how to handle your love while being at the beck and call of danger. Most times he thought that major caveat was one of the reasons you fell so hard and so fast for each other. You both knew time was fleeting and life was fragile. Nothing was promised, and with the life you led, the end could come in the blink of an eye. He, for one, didn’t want to push your love to the side because he more than anyone knew those lessons—he’d lived them.

You’d loved him through his dangerous phase where he was reckless and put everything on his shoulders, took every risk. It was a time in his life he didn’t feel like he knew his purpose in this new world. Everyone joked he was an old man with an old soul living in the times of electronic and technological giants, he felt out of place. He’d almost made up his mind that he’d do everything he could to push himself to the end. Everyone believed he was indestructible, but he knew he was still a man, he knew death had to come at some point. So, he did what he could to tempt it.

  You quickly saw that and showed him life was worth living, and being out of place just meant you had to find the right place. The right place only felt right with you by his side. Leaving was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. It was like taking one of Clint’s blades and piercing his own heart. It hurt, and he barely made it through. For a month he kept the secret feed he had of your shared room open. A whole month he watched you cry, trash the place and sit up and stare aimlessly into darkness. He watched you deteriorate, and every day he wanted to go back. Every day he made the plan to go back, and at the point of execution, he stopped thinking of the danger you’d be in. Then he’d continue on as he explained it away by convincing himself he could more than protect you, only to stop again when he was faced with the fact that you shouldn’t have to live a life on the run where he had to protect you from people who wanted you either dead or buried underground in a cell. It was a hard truth, but it was the truth—he was more detrimental to your life being in it then out of it. Bucky told him his hero complex would be the death of him. He was right. After that month, the day he ended the feed was the day that old Steve Rogers died.

  Suddenly, he stopped and bent over, resting his hands on the tops of his knees and allowed himself to get some air. When he looked at the device on his wrist, he barely blinked when it read he’d ran thirty-five miles in just under thirty minutes. As he stood he groaned.

  “I’m getting too old for this.”

Sam dropped to the ground next to him in full falcon gear. “Maybe you should stop running from your problems then.”

 He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Did you follow me, Sam?”

  “Follow is a very suspect word; it makes it sound like stalking. I am not a stalker, man.”

  He shook his head, rolled his eyes, then rubbed his jaw. “I really didn’t want any company Sam, that’s why I left without telling anyone.”

  “Yeah, I figured. Part of me thought you might run again, especially after you realized Korri wasn’t going to be easy.

  “I never expected her to be easy, Sam. Matter of fact, I knew this would not be easy. I knew she would be—angry, hell furious. I knew she would want to kill me. I knew she would hate me.” He rubbed his forehead and groaned. He expected it all, but he was no way in form prepared for it. To see anger, hate, and the pain in your eyes instead of the love he remembered was hard.

  “She doesn’t hate you, man. She’s hurt—surprised. She didn’t know how you really felt; she moved on and probably resolved to never seeing you again, and here you are—complicating everything she had planned.”

  They stood silently until he sat on the ground and leaned against a tree. He looked up into the sky and through the leaves and branches that swayed in the air. It was soothing and brought him back to a simpler time. A time where he was a different man. Again, he sighed.

  “How bad is it?”

  He wanted to laugh at Sam’s question. If he only knew just how bad things were. “Besides the fact, the woman I love is engaged to another man and seems hell-bent on actually going through with living her life without him. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

  “Bad.” Sam nodded and sat across from him at his own tree and waited for him to continue. “We slept together.” Sam’s jaw dropped.

  “Already?” He nodded.

  “Twice.”

  Sam snorted then laughed his boisterous laugh. He nodded again, fully seeing what he’d done. “Well, you waste no time. I can’t say that I’m surprised. Everyone could feel the tension off the two of you since we got back. Honestly, we all wondered how long it would be.

  “Great, glad to know my turmoil is your entertainment.”

  “So I take it things didn’t go according to plan.”

  He didn’t really even have a plan. When he finally decided to come back, he knew he wanted you back, he wanted you more than anything, and he was prepared to fight for you, but when he found out you were engaged he felt pause. He worried that you really had moved on. He worried that you really didn’t love him anymore, and his words in the letter really were too real.

  “I told her the letter was a lie, told her why I wrote it, and that—I’ve never stopped loving her,” he admitted. Sam looked as if he were holding his breath.

  “Wow, that was loaded and heavy. How did she take it?”

  “Oh, she blew up. She was pissed like really pissed. So was furious.”

  “As expected,” Sam interjected.

  “Yeah, as expected. She left both times and told me not to be there when she returned. Then brought up her fiancée. She’s still going through with it, Sam. It’s been a week, and she avoids me, she sees me coming, she goes the other way. She doesn’t speak to me; she doesn’t look at me she doesn’t—I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to--.”

  “Take a breath, Cap. Look at this objectively. Take yourself out of the equation. Look at things from there.” He took a breath and listened to Sam’s advice.

  “Good. You left her. You didn’t utter a word about it, just up and left; told her in a letter you didn’t love her and only loved one woman and she wasn’t it. You’ve been gone for six years. Six years she spent alone, rebuilding a life without you, living that life, expecting never to see you again. She probably stuffed whatever unresolved feelings she had in a box and hid it. Then here you come six years later, disrupting everything she built, everything she thought, everything she felt. Her once stable world--.”

  “Is unstable. It’s out of whack. I’m the root; it’s my fault.”

  “Again, not the point. It’s not about who is the cause. It’s about how she feels, what she’s dealing with. You have to think about that before you get frustrated with where you are. The difference between you and Korri is you lived the last six years knowing the truth of everything. you had no uncertainties, no false pretenses.”

  “No uncertainties. Sam. You’re kidding, right? My entire six years was uncertainty. It’s not even about being unsure if I’d live to see the next day or the next week. It was about what she was doing, how she was feeling, was she okay? I was filled with uncertainty.”

  Sam sighed and nodded. He understood, they all did. They saw his change; they saw him go from the optimistic, just man who sees the good in everyone to the cynical, lose moral veteran who saw the good but also saw the evil and recognized that evil sometimes usually wins out over the good. He’d seen a lot of darkness and he had a hard time believing that the world that he fought so hard for really deserved it. The only thing he knew was you deserved nothing but the best.

  “I told you to talk to her. I told you there was a better way Steve. You insisted there wasn’t.”

  He kissed his teeth; he’d grown to regret that decision. He now saw there could have possibly been another way. He knew with everything in him that you would have dropped everything to fall off the face of the Earth with him. You would have done it and justified it by saying at least you were together. Hell, he would have justified it with the same words.

  “Give her space. Give her time to reconcile the last six years of lies with the present truths.”

  He knew Sam was right. He knew time was what you needed, he knew you had to come to him on your own, but a genuine fear filled him. It was the fear that you’d choose Marc over him. You’d prefer this life you built over any that included him. He feared you really did hate him underneath the lust, and tangled emotions of love and regret. He wasn’t sure if he could handle the decision you made if it wasn’t him.

  “You’re a good man Cap, always have been and always will be. I know the last six years have made you adapt if you will, but I know deep down you want to do good, you want to be good. You don’t want to be that guy who does dick things like sleep with someone else’s girl behind their back. You don’t want to be the side piece.”

  “I also don’t want him to have her either Sam.”

  “And I hear you on that.”

  They sat in silence for several long minutes until Sam released a huff of breath. “Can’t believe I’m telling you this--.” He sighed, shook his head. “Remind her why she fell for you, Cap.”

  Letting Sam’s words marinate, he thought again to why it was that you did fall for him. It had been so long he wasn’t sure why you fell in love with him anymore.

  ~~~~~~~

 -Korri-

  No matter what you tried, you couldn’t find much information on the mercenaries who attacked the Pentagon. There were reports on them from other attacks, but when it came to anything deeper like who they worked for, that was still the mystery. You hit roadblock after roadblock after roadblock, and after four hours you were fed up. You shrieked out loud as you pounded your hands onto the desk.

  “Woah, they have activities to relieve all that stress, you know.” You turned to see Tony with a pleased smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes and looked back to the screen.

  “How can I help you, Tony?”

  “It’s safe to say you’ve also been unsuccessful too.”

  You groaned again and rolled your eyes. “I can’t find anything. Normally I can find anything I want; I am the queen of finding that which doesn’t want to be found. I can’t find anything!”

  “Calm down. My god if I didn’t know any better I’d think you’re not really frustrated by this and more frustrated with the fact that you’re living a double life.”

  You snapped your head to Tony, who was tapping away on his tablet. You narrowed your eyes and actually envisioned yourself knocking him out. He must have sensed it because he stepped back. When he looked at you he “tsked” at you.

  “No need for violence, Korral.”

  “Have you been spying on me, Tony?”

  “Spying? Is it really classified as that when everyone under this roof knows that there are surveillance measures in place for everyone’s safety?”

  He walked to the other side of the lab, and your head went through the possibilities.

  “The balcony window.” You closed your eyes and mentally kicked yourself.

  “Tony, you better have not watched.”

  “Watch? Though I have always wondered if Captain America’s powers from the super serum went past combat, I did not watch—much.”

  You gaped at him. You couldn’t believe this. “I think my father and Dr. Erskin would be proud to know just how super the serum is.”

   “Tony!”

  He raised his hand in surrender, you stood. “Delete the footage!”

  “It’s already deleted, Korral.” You took a deep breath and rubbed your forehead. You could feel the life you’d built over the last six years slowly crumbling.

  “If I may. Though I am not an expert in women or relationships and my track record is not a prime example. Hell, before Pepper—.” He shook his head. “Even with Pepper, I was—lacking. Anyway, what I am trying to say is, instead of trying to bury your actions, or even hiding them, maybe you should face them—accept them even.”

  The urge to deck him was stronger even though he spoke nothing but the truth. You took several breathes and rolled your shoulders back. The bottom line was he was right; you focused on that. Turning your back you returned to your seat and computer and stared at the screen; the only face you saw was Steve’s.

  “Someone once told me the one thing I was afraid to hear. They said; perhaps I’m not good enough to even stand in my father’s shadow, perhaps I think I’m a God because the man who was like a God to me never saw me.” Tony paused for a few moments then took a deep breath. “So, I will be the person to say the one thing you are afraid to hear, and I hope you can forgive me for it, Korral, because I think of you as my sister, and I respect the hell out of you. Perhaps you’re not as in love with Marc as you think, and it’s because you never got your heart back from Steve. Perhaps you’re still as much in love with him today as you were six years ago.”

  Once he said the words, he walked out, but the cloud of emotions his words elicited hovered in the air suffocating you. Damn right you were afraid to hear them. If they were true then the last six years of your life was built on a lie. You moved on because you had no choice, you moved on because he left you, you moved on because you’d wasted a year of your life with someone who didn’t love you. That is what you told yourself. You gave Marc a chance because he was different than what you usually fell for. He was different from Steve.

  Where Steve was mainly idealistic, marc was a realist. Where Steve couldn’t help but see the good in everyone and build it up, Marc knew human beings were flawed; he knew their ability for corruption, so his inventions kept that in mind. Steve drew others to him, brought others to follow him from his sheer charisma and likability, Marc preferred to keep the majority of the world away only showing what needed to be or what he chose. Steve was a profoundly compassionate lover, and Marc relied solely on his intensity, and it showed in the way they both approached life and love.

  At the thought of love, you rolled your eyes. Did you even love Marc? If you did, how could you have allowed yourself to sleep with Steve? You groaned and looked to the big screen in the lab that held the composites of the virus, according to the doctor who’d created it. You were able to decipher his notes and put together the necessary information that showed you just why Johnson would risk it all for the cannister. Tomorrow the Secretary of Defense would be by to collect it and bring it somewhere more secure. Until then, everyone was still on high alert.

  After you closed your files and locked your computer, you walked back to your room but found yourself going to what used to be Steve’s room instead. Three times you changed course once you realized where you were, and every time your feet still ended up on the path to his room. On the fourth attempt, you quickly ducked into the sauna room and pressed your back to the door. This was not your intended destination, but it would have to do until you regained some control of your limbs and confidence you’d make it to your room and not his.

 Quickly you stripped and wrapped in one of the luxurious towels and made it into the sitting area. You could barely see anything thanks to the thick steam that filled the room. You used your hands to feel your way to one of the seats then dropped into one with a long sigh. You closed your eyes and tried to relax. Your head dropped back, and you allowed your mind to drift. You saw yourself six years ago. You and Steve were sitting on the balcony, your legs were rested in his lap, and his hands were slowly stroking your calves.

  “I can’t believe we actually have a day to ourselves,” you whispered, afraid someone would hear and change it.

  “I know, I was just thinking the same thing. You’re the one with the guts to say it out loud.” You laughed and leaned to him and rested your head on his shoulder then sighed as you watched the sunset behind the trees. Steve kissed your forehead twice and rested his cheek on your head.

  “You know, since I woke up in this insane world, I’ve always felt like I was slowly spiraling away from sanity and control, and it was never a feeling I liked. In order to not put too much attention on it I kept busy, mission after mission, fight after fight, death-defying move after death-defying move.” He took a deep breath; you could feel the clench of his jaw on your forehead, and you looked at him grasping his hands and caressing them. “With you, the world seems less crazy, it’s almost controlled, and I feel saner, and I know it’s because of you, Korri.” You smiled small and felt his soft cheek.

  The way the setting sun caught his face gave him a warm, romantic glow and made his blondish hair look almost orange. The piece that hung over his brow made him look a little less kempt, and you loved it when he looked less than put together. The world saw this beacon of hope and control, but around you away from the world, you allowed him to be himself. You let him be vulnerable, to show the bouts of depression he had over losing Bucky, the sorrow he felt for missing out on a life to live for seventy years, he was able to be Steve the scrawny kid from Brooklyn who carried years of rejection with him from no one wanting him or picking him. You were never drawn to the Captain. You loved Steve.

  You traced the fine lines in his skin and gazed adoringly into his eyes. “Where have you been all my life, Rogers?” He smiled and knew the lines to echo next. He turned his lips to your palm and kissed it. “Asleep for most of it but right where I belong now. I love you, Korri, forever and a day.” You smiled and kissed him determined to breathe life, love, and hope into him and all the areas he lacked it.

  Like a hazy vision, the memory faded and brought a new one. This one not so happy. You sat on the bed you shared with Steve holding the letter he’d written you. Your hands were shaking, and you could hear your heart pounding, but your sobs were also very audible. The words swam in your head like a pool of deception, lies, and pain.

  Korri, for the last year, one thing has become more apparent to me than anything else—and that is you are an amazing woman. You are smart, strong, dependable, loyal, compassionate, honest, so giving, but entirely too gullible. You have the ability to see the good in any heart. You strive to make the world better; protect it even if you didn’t you wouldn’t have willingly walked into work with The Avengers. You care about those around you and love incredible deeply.

  I tried to listen to my head when it said you were a good alternative. I really believed it; I believed you would be able to hold up to her. Sadly, I was mistaken, and I didn’t know anything. See I’d planted a fake image of you were in my mind, an image that I hoped with everything could be anything like the woman I loved, the only woman I’ve ever loved. Peggy. I dreamt of her for seventy years, work up and still dreamed of her every day. I dreamed of what could have been if only we’d been given time.

  Over time, it became painfully clear that you weren’t her. You are nothing like her. She was tenacious, cunning, incredibly strong, stubborn, and so beautiful, just to name a few. You’re not her, and that realization is the reason why it’s clear to me that I could never end up with you. We aren’t endgame; we aren’t meant. I don’t know what’s meant for me anymore if there is anything or anyone in the world who I could love, but I won’t find that here with you. I’m sorry for leading you on and making you think and feel an illusion; I was wrong for that. I never meant to hurt you, but I guess I’m still as lost as you’ve always thought. Goodbye Korri.”

  Your sobs finally uncaged and echoed throughout the room.

  The memory was so powerful the pain you felt gripped you crippled you and held you where you were trapped in the past—a past of pain and lies.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, it meant nothing. I didn’t feel that way. None of it was true.”

  Your lips trembled, and before you knew it, your tears were streaming down your face and sobs coming from your lips.

  “I love you Korri, I’ve never stopped loving you. I needed to protect you. Being on the run was no life for you; you didn’t deserve that.”

  “Stop, stop, stop! No more!”

   The memories stopped, and silence finally filled your head. It was too late though; the memories had already done their damage. You got up and walked out of the steam room, everything was spinning, and you weren’t able to catch a full breath. You stumbled into one of the sauna rooms and dropped onto one of the beds. After a few moments the spinning stopped, and you felt some sense of normalcy return. You sat in the silence of the room and slowed your breathing.

“It was all a lie.”

  “Not all of it, Korri.”

  You should have jumped, should have gasped, and leaped to the other side of the room, but you didn’t. Part of you felt him there, part of you always felt him no matter where he was, no matter what he was doing. That was how you knew he wasn’t dead through all these years. You closed your eyes again and took a breath. Running was not the answer. Fucking was not the answer. Wishing and hoping things were different was not the answer and crying was not it. You took a deep breath and tried to prepare yourself for what was about to happen—the conversation six years in the making.

  Slowly you sat up and pressed your back to the wall and swallowed, then looked in front of you. Steve sat there, shirtless with a towel wrapped around his waist. You tried to keep your eyes above his neck, tried to tell yourself to focus, but on their own they slowly drifted down to take him in full capacity. God, he never ages, you thought. He was Michelangelo’s David without so much as a scratch. He looked to be in mint condition. You bit your bottom lip hard in order to keep your ass on your side of the room. It would be too easy to drift over and take advantage of the moment and the magnetic energy floating between the two of you. It had never been like this with Marc. You dropped your head in disgust.

  “Korri--,” Steve began before you cut him off. You looked him right in the eye as you recited the words he’d written those six years ago. Sat there and watched his every move, every reaction, and read him like you’d been taught to.

  With every word you spoke, he looked pained, angry, and remorse filled. Your jaw clenched, and his mirrored yours before his head dipped down, but only for a second before he met your eyes again and kept your gaze until you finished speaking the words—his words. When you finished the silence returned and the words and pain hung in the air between you.

  “What was it you were saying?”

  “Those words were lies. Well, some of them. You are an amazing woman. You are smart, strong, dependable, loyal, compassionate, honest, too giving. You have the ability to see the good in any heart. You strive to make the world better, to protect it. You’re not her—you’re not Peggy. I love that you’re your own woman, a damn remarkable one. I never meant to hurt you.”

Somehow you were able to keep your tears inside. You were able to sit there while he spoke and keep a straight face, a face that showed no emotion, a face that didn’t betray you, and show the turmoil that bubbled within.

  “Korri, I’m sorry.”

  “You keep saying that like it’s supposed to do something. Like the words erase anything. They don’t, Steve! Nothing is erased. The six years still went by, the words are spoken, the pain still there, the effect present. Nothing is changed. I don’t know what you think I’m sorry does. It’s not a fix, a cure.”

  Steve quickly slid to the end of the bed he sat on and leaned to you. “Then tell me how to fix this, Korri. Tell me how to cure and heal the wound I’ve caused. Tell me, please. I have to fix this.” You saw a tear roll down his cheek, and part of you wanted to go to him, part of you desperately wanted to wrap your arms around him, but you didn’t know how you could. How could you forget everything? How could you move on after everything? How could you trust him?

  “I don’t think there is anything you can do that can fix it. The damage has been done.”

  He shook his head defiantly. “No. I don’t believe that. I won’t accept that. Korri, I love you. I have loved you for eight years — one from afar, one with you and six apart from you. I will love you for the rest of my life, but I don’t want to do it from afar anymore, Korri. I can’t.”

  You hit your head on the wall and shook your head. “Do you know what I couldn’t do, Steve? I couldn’t breathe for weeks after you left. I couldn’t—breathe. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think. I couldn’t fucking function! I stayed in bed—our bed for two whole weeks. I cried, god did I cry. I have never cried that much in my life. I couldn’t look at a star and not think of you. Everything I saw, I saw your stupid face, everything. It took me two months to stop crying in the daytime, like a stupid idiot. It took me another six months to stop crying at night, and that includes in my sleep because I dreamt of you, had nightmares I woke from tear soaked. It took almost a year before I could take a full breath, but still, my chest hurt; still, my heart hurt. You had me second guessing everything, every single thing, my judgment, my assessments, my logic, my thinking, every single person I came in contact with, I second guessed, I refused to trust, I couldn’t. Because of you!”

  You were fuming, but you felt good, finally getting it out. You’d kept all this in for so long it was as if your heart was a mausoleum of dead love and dreams.

  “You broke my fucking heart Steve; do you realize that. You broke it and called it Tuesday and dropped off the face of the planet.”

  “Korri, I had to help--.”

  “I don’t give a shit. You lied to me. You promised you’d never lie to me, and you lied and left me. No goodbye, just that letter and six years of pain. You did that Steve. Now you’re back and you what, want forgiveness?”

  “Yes. Only your forgiveness.” More tears decorated his face and gut-wrenching pain, a pain you felt, you’d always felt it, and you now saw he’d felt it too. Part of you felt satisfied to know he suffered. You wanted him to suffer.

  “It took Marc nearly two years to get me to agree to a date, it took him almost another year before he finally got me into bed, then four years to get me to move in, and nearly five years to get me to accept his marriage proposal. All of it took so long because of you, because of some sick feeling of betraying you but being unable to trust because of you.”

  Steve looked crushed hearing the intimate details of yours and Marc’s relationship. Good, you thought. You were now in dangerous territory, the territory of wanting vengeance for the sake of it.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry, I regret hurting you. I regret writing that stupid letter. I regret lying to you.”

  “But you don’t regret leaving. You don’t regret everything else.” He looked down, then shook his head.

  “You know I don’t. You know what Bucky meant to me. You know how I beat myself up over what happened to him, how I blamed myself for him turning into that--,” Steve trailed off his voice filled with emotion. “I don’t regret being there for him when he needed me like he’d always been there for me. He died for me, Korri.”

  Your eyes remained glued to the other, and you searched his for any hint of a lie, there was no lie. The man before you was being honest and for the first time, you could see the Steve you’d fallen in love with. The man who would wreck his entire world just for a friend, who would put himself in harm’s way to save a life, a man who would do just about anything for the right thing.

   You groaned loudly and hit your head on the wall again. “You should have told me, Steve. You took my choice; you had no right to do it. You stole six years from me, six years that I could have been happy, we could--.” Clenching your jaw, you closed your eyes and shook your head. With how close you’d come to saying the words it was clear to you now, your six years were a lie, everything with Marc was a lie.

  “Marc.” You buried your face in your hands and groaned again.

  “Marc? How could you think about him at a time like this? After--.” You heard the crunching of metal and looked across from you to see Steve tightly gripping the edge of the bed, severely breaking it.

  “Do you love him?”

  “You don’t get to ask me that.” He clenched his jaw.

  “Do you love me? Do I get to ask that?” You studied him some more not knowing how to answer either of those questions.

  “I have a life here, Steve. I built a life out of the ash, rubble, and blood you left, and whether you like it or not Marc is part of that life.”

  “After everything we’ve shared? Come on, Korri, if you loved him you would have never let me between your thighs. If you loved him you wouldn’t still be sleeping in our bed. If you loved him you wouldn’t still be hurt after all these years.”

  Bam, Captain Steven Grant Rogers just hit you right between the eyes with some truth. It was a truth you didn’t want to face—not yet at least.

  “Be honest with me, hell be honest with yourself.” You clenched your jaw and felt more fear.

  “Love isn’t everything, Steve. It doesn’t mean as much as it once did.”

  He snorted. “You’re lying. I know you Korri, I know you inside and out, I know how you think, I know better than you wish I did. I know you, Korri.”

  With that, Steve was off the bed and on your side of the room, cupping your jaw. You could feel the heat radiating off him and the strength in him. Everything in you responded to him.

  “Look me in the eyes, Korri.” You looked him in his blue orbs, and it was as if no time had passed at all. Like a magnet, you both levitated to each other, and in a matter of seconds, your foreheads were pressed together. “I love you Korri, only you.”

  You felt the truth of those words. The fact that you knew him inside and out, too, made it easy to believe and easy to understand and feel why he did what he did. It didn’t make your situation any easier or less messy. “Do you expect me to blow up my entire life because you’re back? Do you expect me to fall into line like everyone else who follows you and do what you want? I was never meant to fall in line, Steve.”

  “Oh, I know, that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you, your defiance, your stubbornness. I just want you, Korri.” Your hand found its way to his cheek, and you relished the feel of his beard and the sweetness of his breath. His lips touched yours in the softest kiss, a kiss you stalled with returning. He waited; he was always good at waiting.

  “The choice is yours, darlin’.”

  You bit your bottom lip but kissed him right after. Steve took it as an invitation and took control of the kiss that quickly turned frenzied. You moaned on his lips and nibbled his bottom one. Steve groaned and but pulled you closer to him. You moaned again and pushed him back to his side of the room.

  Chris fell to the bed, and you climbed on him, straddling his lap. His hands and your hands fought for dominance and control over the other until Steve’s hands untucked your towel. You allowed it to fall and allowed Steve to cup your breasts. When his lips connected with your neck you began rocking on his lap; every swipe over the rigid mass underneath you made your core yearn as it had never yearned before.

  You reached down between your bodies and loosened his towel and arched onto your knees while locking eyes with him. He didn’t move or speak. He simply waited for you to make a choice. You felt as if this was the most important choice of your life. This choice would cement those to follow. This choice would brand you for better or worse. Closing your eyes, you toned out everything, heart, head, all of it, but you made a choice, and that choice had you sinking onto his need. Steve groaned and flung his head back as he tightly squeezed your hip. The pain rang out in your pelvis, and you knew it would bruise.

  Neither of you waited or took it slow. You rocked your hips back and forth and swiveled them fully taking control of your desire and his need for you. Unable to sit back and let you do all the work Steve used his grip on your hips to lift you up and down on his appendage. Every time he brought you down it wasn’t gentle. He slammed you down as he rose his hips to deliver a bruising thrust. Every time he did you screamed out and every time you did his thrusts came with more power. By the time he snapped his hips up a fifth time, you’d came around his length twice.

  Steve must have known it because he held you so tightly it hurt, but then he rocked your core so expertly that you didn’t care. Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore Steve bit down onto your shoulder, grunted loudly, quickly pumped into you. “Oh my god, Steve!”

  “Yes. Korri! Ah, uugh!” His body stiffened as he sank into you to the hilt and held you in pace to receive every single inch of him. You screeched and felt his release. The two of you held tightly to each other as your pants and moans bounced off the walls. You rode the wave of your orgasm, but the fire within you didn’t subside. You feared it never would as long as he was alive.

  When your body’s convulsions slowed, you looked down to Steve whose eyes were glued to you. his hand pushed back your hair and wiped a drop of sweat from your temple. Shaking your head, you allowed the tears to fall, and Steve wiped them as they did.

  “I love you, Steve, I’ve always loved you. I will probably always love you.” His eyes filled with hope, a contagious hope. He brought his face closer to yours his intention to claim your lips. You allowed the kiss, and with it such nostalgia washed over you. He was the love of your life. He always would be, but he was also the only man who’d ever broken your heart, the only man you’d ever allowed close enough to do it. Slowly you pulled away and kept your eyes closed allowed the lingering effect of his kiss to remain a little longer. When you opened your eyes, it took him all of three seconds to figure out he hadn’t gotten what he wanted—not entirely.

  “But I don’t think love is enough anymore.” The happiness on his face faded and was replaced by anguish. He looked as if you’d reached into his chest and pulled out his beating heart. You slid off of his lap and gathered the towel around you once more then walked out the room.

~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!! ❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@quitepointless @yourwonderbelle @caramara3 @kaetastic   @toniilaney   @cltex84 @wildmindedbeauty32 @bellaamor88 @periodtcevans   @peach-acid @queennanayaa @alyxkbrl @disneysdarlingdiva @useless-mork @vannahvannahhh @ areubeingserved @academic-glowup   @patzammit @pennywisesmistress @ noramushroom @evemej   @noramushroom @missyperle

[ultrafangirlishness]

Alone on Christmas (Part 3)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Synopsis: Deceit hates Christmas, especially now that it’s without Virgil— his first Christmas alone. Or so he thought.

Word count: 3,223

Pairings: None romantic, all platonic

Warnings: slight Deceit angst (some anxious and insecure thoughts), sympathetic Deceit, minor arguing/tension, Christmas themes, lots of fluff, fluff ending

A/N: Hey everyone, this is my FIRST FIC EVER, inspired by this post by @max-the-queer. I had a lot of fun with this and am excited to present this totally self-indulgent fic. Unfortunately I forgot about Tumblr’s textbox limit, so I had to split it up. Feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated! (Also note this is pre-Remus). Happy Holidays, everyone!

Other parts here: 1 | 2 | 3

Special thanks to @sparkleydoggy-main​ for editing.

——————————————————————

Deceit was outfitted in a thick black coat, his new yellow scarf, and his regular old gloves and hat. He had to admit it wasn’t a bad look, and it was much warmer than just his cape. The five of them finally exited the warmth and safety of Patton’s house, and Deceit was surprised to feel as though being outside in the winter wasn’t going to suck the life force out of him. Aside from the exposed skin and scales on his face, he actually felt quite warm. Logan had been right. Without having to focus on the blinding cold, snow really was beautiful.

The snow was still falling, but only in tiny specks now. The group was spread out around the lawn, bundled up in various winter attire. Logan and Patton were out on the empty snowy street, admiring all the shops and houses covered in fresh snow and Christmas lights. Roman was off to the side of the yard, making what looked like the start of a snowman. Virgil remained on the door-step in silence, taking everything in.

The sight of it all amazed Deceit. Everyone seemed so… at peace. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so content; not bitter and angry at the world. Not just surviving, but living.

He began wandering across the yard, simply enjoying the scene laid out before him. Just as he was about to reach the area where Roman was working, Deceit felt a cold chunk of snow shatter against the back of his collar. He turned around to see a mortified Virgil—his mouth hanging open and eyes wide in terror.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” he sputtered out, “that was meant for Princey!”

The irritation Deceit had initially felt quickly melted away into something he hadn’t felt in a long time: playfulness.

“A feeble attempt,” he said. “Really, Virgil, I thought you were better than that. Apology unaccepted. However, I do accept your declaration of war.”

“My de—?” Virgil’s confusion was cut off by a snowball to the shoulder. Deceit had to cover his mouth to stifle a laugh when seeing Virgil’s dumbfounded expression. Shock quickly turned into competitiveness, and Deceit could see he was trying not to smile. There was a dangerous glint in his eye, like lighting a fire; a look Virgil only ever got when they used to rough house together. It felt like so long since Deceit had seen that look, and he was glad to have it back, even if it was just for this one moment. “So that’s how you wanna play.”

Virgil knelt down to load more ammunition when Deceit cupped his hands to his mouth and called, “Hey, Roman, sounds like that snowball was for you. Courtesy of Virgil.”

“Dee!”

Roman turned around from his snowman, looking at Virgil with his hand on his chest. “Excuse me?” He said in mock-offense, “Trying to attack me, the prince, while his guard is down? My own best friend? How dare you!”

“Oh, get over yourself, Princey,” he laughed, tossing a new snowball up in his hand.

“What do you say we take down this fowl beast together?” Roman asked Deceit.

“With pleasure.” Deceit and Roman began to advance.

“Hey, w-wait! No fair!” Virgil said, backing up, “You guys can’t team up on me like that!”

“Are you kiddos playing nice?” Patton jokingly called over from where he and Logan were standing.

He was answered with a snowball to the back. “No,” Roman said through a grin. Virgil snickered.

Logan turned. “Hey now, don’t get us involved in your silly little qua—”

It was Patton’s turn to cut him off with a snowball, accidentally hitting him in the side of the head. Everyone froze, afraid they’d gone too far. Patton’s hands shot up to cover his mouth.

“Alright,” he said, deadly calm. He took in a deep breath, cracking his neck and knuckles. “You asked for it.”

Everyone ran.

Logan quickly began scooping up bunches of snow in his fists, grinning from ear to ear, running after a screaming Patton. While Roman was distracted with steering clear of Logan, Virgil finally got his snowball to its original target. “Hey!”

Everyone forgot who was teaming up with who, and soon it was every man for themselves. Snowballs were flying in every which way, targeting whoever was closest.

 Deceit had never really been in a full-fledged snowball fight before, and he was a little worried he was going to hurt someone, but no one seemed to really mind getting hit. The snowball to Virgil was a bold move, but it only seemed to break the ice between them. The entire time he’d been over, Virgil had barely even acknowledged his presence. Now they were indulging in the same kind of chaotic fun they always had. Deceit decided it couldn’t hurt to join in.

Who was the easiest target? Probably Patton, but he was already occupied with Logan. Patton had been backed to a wall and was giggling nervously as Logan approached.

 “Wait, Lo, we can talk about this!” he squeaked, bracing himself for the kill.

“Hey!” Virgil called to distract Logan, “That’s my friend!”

“He’s my friend too!” Roman announced proudly.

“Oh,” Logan said, turning around and letting Patton slip from his trap. “I’m so glad you two have offered to take his place as sacrifice. How kind.”

“Oh, wait, never mind!” Roman called back when he realized what he’d just gotten himself into. He and Virgil ran for it, but Logan was like a machine. He hit both his targets with pinpoint accuracy, catching Virgil off-guard and knocking him to the ground with a muffled “Oof!”

Meanwhile Deceit had completely forgotten about Patton, who had snuck off while everyone was distracted by the Logan/Virgil/Roman show, and was shocked to feel a ball of snow hit his shoulder.

Deceit turned around to see Patton stick out his tongue playfully. He stuck his forked tongue out in return, causing Patton to bust up.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Patton,” Deceit said melodramatically, gathering more snow in his hands.

Patton was too busy clutching his stomach laughing to respond.

Though Virgil had fallen prey to Logan, Roman had escaped and was positioned behind Patton, holding his finger to his lips.

Roman silently launched his snowball. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the best shot. The snowball hit Patton directly behind the knees with full force and sent him straight to the ground.

It was Deceit’s turn to crack. There was something so shocking and sudden about it, Deceit doubled over, laughing so hard he was forced to the ground right along with Patton.

 “Sorry, Pat!” Roman screeched and rushed over. The three of them were on the ground, barely catching their breaths. It almost hurt to be laughing so hard. Deceit wiped his eyes and slowly stood, helping Patton back up.

Patton’s glasses were slightly askew across his flushed cheeks, but he was grinning like he was having the time of his life. He helped Roman back up, who profusely apologized through his laughs and wrapped Patton in a hug. Deceit strolled over to watch the showdown between Virgil and Logan, though there was really no fight for Virgil. He was already pinned into the snow.

 “Wa—Logan, no!” he heard Virgil scream with laughter as Logan began stuffing snow into Virgil’s coat. There was a hint of satisfaction in Logan’s eyes that both amazed and terrified Deceit.

“Hey, don’t put this on me, you’re the one who started this whole thing!”

“Did not!”

Deceit couldn’t help but laugh quietly into his glove at the sight of big, tough Virgil being taken down by the ever-stoic Logan, like some sort of petty sibling fight.

“Deceit’s the one who made it into a war,” Virgil said, shooting Deceit a look. Normally he would’ve been hurt by a look from Virgil, but Deceit saw that it was no longer filled with anger and resentment. The look he gave was one of grudging gratitude, like that little bit of a release was something he had desperately needed.

Virgil finally got his chance to fight back and pushed Logan off of him, breathing heavily through leftover giggles. He threw some powder back at Logan for good measure.

“I’ll do it again, you know,” Logan warned, brushing the snow off his pants.

“You’re crazy, you know that, Lo?” Virgil laughed.

Logan just smiled and straightened his glasses.

Everyone headed back inside to warm up and settle down for the afternoon. Coats, scarves, and other accessories were hung back up on the coat rack to dry. Patton put on a record for top Christmas hits and sat down with a cup of cocoa. “I hope you’re enjoying your stay, Deceit, it’s been wonderful having you here.”

Deceit felt a pleasant warmth rise up within him. “I quite am, Patton, thank you.”

He didn’t detect any sort of lie in Patton’s statement, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he really meant that. They enjoyed having him around?

“Are you loving Christmas yet?” Roman asked excitedly.

“Uh…” he wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Before he could give a proper answer, Brenda Lee’s Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree began to play, making Patton spring to his feet.

“Ooh, this is one of my favorites!” He squealed. Then, turning serious, he whipped around to face Logan.

“Logan, will you have this dance?”

Patton bowed dramatically, holding out his hand to Logan who scoffed and rolled his eyes. He reluctantly took Patton’s hand, trying to hide his smile.

Patton led the two in a bouncy, improvised-swing type of dance, pulling poor Logan right along. Between Patton’s silly antics and a little bit of embarrassment, Logan’s composure was quickly breached. He was laughing almost uncontrollably, weakening as he was pulled along by a singing Patton, his face redder than ever. “Patton!” Logan laughed. “Slow down!”

The scene unfolding before them was too good, Virgil couldn’t help but feel a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “Hey now, these two can’t be having all the fun.”

Virgil stood up from the wall where he, Roman, and Deceit were leaning against to view the show.

“C’mon, Princey,” he grabbed Roman’s arm, “You’re dancing with me.” Virgil dragged Roman out to where Logan and Patton were.

“Gladly, my dearest knight!” Roman beamed and let Virgil lead the way, dancing next to the other two in that free-swing kind of way.

Deceit watched in fascination and awe at the four friends, dancing and laughing themselves silly, not having a care in the world. He too couldn’t help but smile at the sight. It really was an honor to get to witness such a wholesome moment in time.

He was snapped out of his gaze when Roman began approaching, his hand extended. “Your turn!”

“Oh, uh,” Deceit tried to think of a way out. He really was enjoying himself just by getting to watch the others. “That’s okay, I—" But Roman didn’t seem to be giving him an option, as Deceit was yanked to the dance floor. “Come on, Snake, let’s rattle!”

“Only if you never say that again,” he tried his best to sound irritated, but he doubted it was very effective when it was obvious that he was trying not to smile.

Roman laughed. “Whatever you say, Jekyll and Lied.”

Roman and Deceit danced with surprising ease, Virgil returning to his spot to watch the others.

“What a fine dance partner you are!” Roman exclaimed as the song came to an end. Everyone began slowing down, breathing hard but smiling just the same.

 “Thank you, dear Roman,” Deceit said with a theatrical bow, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Wonderful performances, everyone!” Roman announced cheerfully as the next song began. “Now, switch partners! I call the Nerd over there!”

“Hey!” Logan pouted as Roman strolled over to Logan cheekily.

Patton glanced at the remaining dance partners and quickly added, “And I’ll grab us all some drinks! Be right back!” Leaving Virgil and Deceit the only two left.

Suddenly dancing didn’t seem so fun.

Deceit steeled his nerves and cautiously approached Virgil, who eyed him warily. “Virgil, would you…?”

“Yeah, fine, let’s just get this over with,” he said with an eye roll, taking Deceit’s hand.

The Christmas Song was the next to play, bringing everyone down to a kind of casual slow dance, for which everyone was grateful. After about a minute of dancing and avoiding eye contact, Virgil was the first one to speak up.

“I guess... it is nice to see you again,” he admitted.

Deceit pretended not to notice the blush growing on Virgil’s face and said, “What’s that? You’re mumbling, Virgil.”

“You know what I said,” he spat, his face only continuing to redden. Deceit chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” Deceit said, softening his voice to a more serious tone. His dance partner finally met his eyes. “For everything.”

It took Virgil a moment to process those words, letting silence fall between them as they listened to the others apparently having their own fun.

“Quit stepping on my feet, Roman, I thought you were supposed to be a good dancer!”

“Hey, I am a good dancer!”

Virgil looked down at the floor and quietly said, “Me too.”

It was early evening when the group of friends decided to settle down with a movie: the original Grinch. Patton made popcorn for everyone while Roman broke out the blankets. Virgil went around the house, closing all the blinds and shutting off lights as Logan set up the movie. Deceit asked if there was anything he could do to help, but everyone just told him they had it taken care of and to make himself comfortable on the couch. He grabbed a blanket and did what he was told.

Once all preparations were made and the beginning credits started to show, everyone took their seats. Patton jumped to the space on Deceit’s left, yelling, “I call sitting next to Dee!” Virgil grinned and climbed over to the opposite side. Logan and Roman sat on the floor, Logan’s shoulder’s straddled between Virgil’s knees and Roman stretched out on his side, throwing his legs over Logan’s lap. Patton and Virgil cuddled up on either side of Deceit, causing a warmth to spread through his limbs and fluttering feeling in his stomach. The sudden and intimate contact was a bit surprising, but certainly not unwelcome.

“I’ve never done something like this before,” he said to no one in particular, an excited edge creeping into his voice. “But this is actually really unpleasant. In fact, this is the worst time I’ve had in a while!”

“Aww, that’s great to hear!” Patton praised and nuzzled into Deceit, wrapping himself and his blanket around his arm. 

Roman chuckled and said, “I told you I’d make you like Christmas,” but yelped when Logan flicked the bottom of his foot.

“I still hate you, you know,” Virgil said in his usual irritated voice, but when Deceit looked over he was smiling.

Patton yawned. “Gee, for a cold-blooded creature, you sure are warm...”

The group was mostly silent during the rest of the movie, having exhausted all their energy earlier in the day. Deceit silently observed Virgil, who was absentmindedly playing with Logan’s hair as he watched the movie. When Virgil realized what he was doing had accidentally put his friend to sleep, he retracted his hand and curled up under his blanket. Everyone but Virgil and Deceit were out cold at this point, lulled by the sound of the movie playing in the background and the comfort of everyone cuddled up together. Roman was curled up to a pillow on the floor next to Logan, whose head had fallen back into Virgil’s lap. Patton was completely wrapped up in his blanket, snuggled up against Deceit’s side. And he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

He could’ve stayed there forever, perfectly content.

Virgil yawned, resting his head lightly against Deceit’s arm. Then, without taking his eyes off the screen, whispered, “I missed you”. It was so quiet, barely audible, Deceit wasn’t sure if it was meant to be heard, or even said at all. For all he knew he could’ve been talking to one of the characters on-screen. Deceit just smiled and leaned his cheek to the top of Virgil’s head, sighing contentedly and trying not to let the warm sleepy air get to him too.

 •••

Deceit was surprised by how sad he felt to be leaving. The last twenty-four hours seemed to have gone by so fast. The five of them gathered together in the foyer again, this time to see Deceit off.

“I guess this is it, then,” he said.

“Thank you so much for coming, Deceit, it was a pleasure having you,” Patton said, wrapping him in a hug. “Feel free to visit, okay?”

Deceit returned the hug. “The pleasure was mine. Oh! I almost forgot…” He began taking off his Christmas sweater.

“Oh no, no,” Roman stopped him. “That’s yours, my friend.”

“But—”

“For next time,” Logan smiled.

“And this?” he asked, holding up Virgil’s spare coat he had borrowed.

“You can keep it,” Virgil shrugged. “Seemed to do you a lot more good than it did me.”

“Thank you.” Deceit pulled on the coat and wrapped his new scarf securely around his neck. He put his gloves and hat back on.

Deceit looked around at everyone, not sure what to say.

“Thank you again,” he said finally. “Really. This was by far the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

Roman did a small fist pump.

“I… I hope to see you all again,” he said, opening the door. “In the near future.”

“We love you too, you stupid snake,” Virgil said teasingly.

There was one more round of hugs before Deceit stepped out onto the snowy porch. 

When it was Virgil’s turn, there was a small moment of hesitation before he finally threw his arms tightly around Deceit, paralyzing him for a moment. Deceit relaxed into it and gratefully returned the hug. They stood there embraced for maybe a tad longer than was comfortable, but no one really minded. He heard a soft “aw” from Patton.

Just as he was about to step off into the street, he heard, “Hey.”

He turned. “Don’t be a stranger,” Logan said.

“Yeah! You might be the bad guy, but you’re our bad guy now!” Roman said.

“Sucks to be you,” Virgil agreed with a smirk, putting his hands in his jacket pockets.

Deceit just laughed and waved, turning back around.

The snow began to fall once again, but this time was different. For the first time, Deceit didn’t mind the cold. He smiled and hummed to himself as he made his way back to his apartment.

He had somewhat of a family now. A small, chaotic one, but a family nonetheless. People who had accepted him back into their lives, even when he hadn’t been the greatest to them in the past. They had given him a second chance, a fresh start— and that was more than Deceit could’ve ever asked for.

Roman had been right. Christmas really could be a wonderful time of year when you have the ones you care about there to keep you warm. Maybe the holiday season wasn’t so bad after all.

[oh-theatre]

Sycamore High: A Final Round (Chapter 40: Part 1)

A/N: I AM SO SORRY!! ITS BEEN FOREVER!! Also I have decided to split the final chapter into two parts! I promise I wont take three months to write the next one lol... Anyway!! I hope you all enjoy and once again! I am so so sorry

summary: As the year ends the gang has some unfinished things to wrap up

words: 4662

warnings: Swearing, kissing, homophobia

Edited by: @theyreallidiots  (YOURE MY ANGEL AND SAVIOR AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH)

Ao3 Link

“Hey uh, bye fucker” Ted waves from the couch, stuffing his mouth full of newly opened cheeseballs.

“Bye asshole” Paul responds, lugging his bags towards the door. Chad and Henry watch from the opening in their kitchen.

“Are they friends? I can't tell” Chad asks softly, Henry laughs. “Alright, boys! Let's have a proper goodbye shall we?” Chad requests, glaring only slightly at his son. Ted moans standing quickly, he walks over to Paul giving him a quick hug. “Oh come on, you're best friends”

“We are like Stan and Kyle dad” Ted mumbles, Chad and Henry glance at one another, Teds references were a hit and miss with the pair. “Ugh nevermind, I don't need to give Paul a big giant hug, that's all I'm saying”

“Aren't those the two that dated?” Paul asks trying to remember.

“No that's Tweek and Craig” Ted corrects, Paul nods an ‘ah’ sound escapes “You gotta watch more ‘South Park’” Ted chides, Paul laughs.  

“Wait does that mean you're going to write me a song because you miss me” Paul mocks, recalling the events of the previous few episodes. Teds not sure whether he's impressed or offended.

“Of course I will” He teases back, Henrys given up. “Alright say goodbye to Clyde” Ted requests, Paul awes kneeling as the sad pup comes up to him, licking his face goodbye. He stands after a moment of cuddling and faces the professors.

“Thank you so much for letting me stay here” He goes up and hugs Henry and Chad, they return the gesture happily. “It was really nice” He smiles, they ruffle his hair allowing him to face Ted now. The professors share a glance before promptly exiting the room, leaving the friends alone. Clyde jumps into Ted’s arms receiving soft pets. “Well it’s been fun” Paul commented jokingly, Ted laughs giving his friend a hug.

“Look, just come back whenever you need to ok?” He asks softly. Paul nods pulling away.

“Sorry, I’m a bit late” Emma joins in, opening the door as she makes her way into the apartment. Ted gives her a nod, Paul greets her with a quick kiss on the cheek. “Ready?” She hopes, he nods giving Ted one last look of gratefulness before stepping out of the apartment and joining Emma on her descent downstairs. “You ok?” She checks before hopping into the car, Paul joins her after stuffing his belongings into the back.

“Yeah, I just got so used to living with Ted it'll be weird… ya know?” Emma nods starting the car “But I'm really excited to go home and sleep in my bed and be with my mom” He lists excited, Emma giggles at his antics heading onto the road. The drive isn't too long and Paul had offered to just walk but Emma wanted to be there.

“Are you hungry at all?” Emma inquires carefully, inputting Paul's house into her GPS. Paul ponders for a moment, the professors had sent him off with plenty of food in his stomach.

“No I’m ok, how are you?” He responds, fiddling with the ends of his jacket. He realized how long it had been since the pair had been alone together, just the two of them. He loves their friends but… it was nice.

“I’m ok, Charlotte is having a fashion crisis about her outfit for the wedding. She wasn’t expecting to be asked to sing so...but now she has Jackie for that.” Emma turns “Who mind you, is much better at that than I am” She admits, Paul laughs. “Speaking of the wedding…” She twirls her fingers over his hand, playing with it.

“Yes?” He turns, smiling.

“Well, what colors are you wearing? I want to match” She chimes, Paul laughs. “What?” She grins towards him, adorable confusion.

“Nothing, I'm wearing a standard suit, with a hint of blue” He explains, she raises an eyebrow. “I’ve been with Henry too long…”

“Blue” She repeats thinking it over, she pulls into Pauls driveway “I can do blue”

“Thanks for driving me,” he says, staring fearfully at the house in front of him. Emma takes his hand, kissing it softly.

“Did you really think I was going to let you waltz in there alone?” Emma wonders, Paul laughs stepping out of the car. Emma joins him, helping him with some bags. They trudge up the driveway, the sweltering heat hitting them quite hard. “Ready?” She asks, he nods pushing open the door, silently praying no one is home. He makes his way softly into the house hoping nobody can hear him, if anybody is home that is. Emma takes his free hand, grasping it protectively.

“Paul!” Alice exclaims running up to her brother, her hug causing him to drop all his things as he returns the gesture. “I missed you so much!” She tightens her grip, Paul struggles for air, silently pleading to Emma. She coughs loudly gaining the attention of a certain Matthews sister, who pulls away apologizing.

“I missed you too” He responds, he scans the room looking at the empty kitchen/living room. It feels lonely, sad, dreary, what are other adjectives for lonely? “Where is mom?” He inquires, walking further into the house.

“She took Joe out while you came home”

“I'm so tempted to make a ‘Joe mama’ joke” Paul mumbles, Emma seizes trying to contain her laughter. “So it's just us?” He continues, Alice nods. “I'm gonna go put my stuff away, Em?” Emma smiles a greeting to Alice before following Paul upstairs. She had forgotten what his room looked like having spent so much time at the professors.

“Excited to be home?” She asks as Paul flops onto his bed, clutching his pillows close.

“So excited” He gleams, he throws a pillow her way, a mischievous grin spread across his face.

“You are starting something you can't finish Matthews” Emma throws it back a little rougher, Paul raises his brows sitting up. He throws two more at her, hitting her square in the face, she laughs ready. “Is that a challenge Matthews?” He nods coyly receiving a pillow in his face as a response. They continue for a little while circling around the room and bouncing on the bed, pillows flying everywhere. Finally, Paul catches Emma, wrapping his arms around the squealing teen smothering her with quick pecks.

“Gotchu,” He says, turning her to face him. She shrugs pulling him in for a kiss.

“Suppose you do” She comments back, he pulls her in kissing her prolongedly, holding on to this moment for a while. They pull apart needing a moment, desperate for air. “Well damn Paul… but uh… I don't think that's how you play pillow fight”

“Uh Emma, you don't play pillow fight, you live it” he corrects, Emma laughs pushing him off. He smiles, melting back into his cozy bed, Emma sits next to him. “Mmm home” He hums softly, Emma fiddles with his hair.

“I love you” Emma whispers sweetly into his hair, kissing his forehead. A soft umph escapes her as Paul hits her with a pillow once more, rolling off the bed laughing. “I take it back” She grumbles, coughing some feathers out of her mouth. Paul leans forward, taking Emma's face in his hands.

“No, take-backs,” He says, kissing her again. He could do this forever.

~~~

“Are you seriously telling me you can’t tie a tie?” Tommy chides, looking up from his magazine as he lounges on Ted's bed. Ted stands in front of the mirror, growing exceedingly frustrated at the knot around his neck he claims to be a tie.

“Don't be mean, help me” He begs, tugging annoyed at the patterned garment. Tommy groans rolling off the bed. He stands joining his boyfriend in the mirror. Ted pouts as Tommy swats his hands away, intricately working on the tie, patting it flat once he's finished. “Perfect, thank you,” He says, kissing Tommy on the forehead before turning back to the mirror.

“You know I’ve showed you a million times right?” Tommy comments flopping back onto the bed. Ted bites down a knowing smile. It's not that he likes when Tommy helps him, its that he loves leaning forward, planting a surprise kiss directly onto Tommy, leaving him flustered a moment after.

“Yeah but I forgot” Ted admits, Tommy groans once more, laughing annoyed into a pillow he had used for propping his magazine on. Teds not going to lie, that sound had been sorely missed. And so had the flutter in his chest, the one he got everytime Tommy even batted an eye his way. “Shouldn't you be getting ready?” Ted remembers, checking the time. Tommy hums softly, flipping through the pages.

“Yes! But I don't want to” Tommy exclaims, Ted finishes his hair, deciding there is nothing more he can do for it before turning to Tommy. He gives the smaller boy a look, Tommy bites his lips before giving in. “My parents want me to wear this suit, and I hate how it feels” He complains, Ted moves towards the bed, squatting in front of Tommy who lays forward, his head resting in his hands.

“You don't have to wear the suit” Ted begins, Tommy tilts his sad head. “Ok, I wasn't sure when or how but...I asked Jackie for a favor…” Almost instantly Tommys face lights up. Ted giggles, taking Tommy's hand in his own. He stands, allowing Tommy to follow him towards the closet. Tommy clutches to Ted scared if he even missteps he will be gone, lost because Tommy failed to keep him. It's silly, he knows, but it's his silliness.

“Mmm not my favorite place” Tommy jokes, Ted stifles a laugh, nudging Tommy softly. He opens the door revealing a dress. Tommy's jaw dropped, just the reaction Ted had hoped for. The dress matched Teds burgundy theme, white lace to decorate it. It was of appropriate length, but perfectly flowy. Tommy continues gaping, Ted wraps his arms around the smaller boy from the back, his head leaning on Tommy's shoulder slightly. “Do you-

“Don't even finish, I love it” Tommy admires. Ted smiles triumphant, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek. Tommy continues smiling as Ted releases his grip, Tommy moves forward taking the dress and excusing himself into the bathroom. Ted goes back to his own outfit, sitting at the tip of the bed as he ties his shoes. He hums softly allowing the silence to envelop him in his thoughts, the reality of his life, his situation everything that had happened hitting him. He didn't mean to cry and it wasn't ...bad per se but it did feel weird. He shakes his head, wiping away any remnants, everything was fine.

“Everything is fine” He repeats out loud, staring grimly at his reflection. His outfit is fine but everything just seems one-off. Not that he could think about it much as something catches his eyes in the mirror, the bathroom door sliding open, a very nervous Tommy stands in it. How many times must a person's jaw drop today? Tommy looked perfect in the dress, everything fit him and he was just…”Perfect” Ted marvels, his eyes might as well be pounding hearts.

“What?” Tommy laughs, spinning only slightly as his dress follows him.

“You look...perfect” Ted grins nodding, he's smooth, he's got this. Tommy squeals, Oh no...he does not got this. He expects more happy squeals and delighted smiles but Tommy’s face drops, he plops on the bed. “Tommy? What’s up?”  Ted asks, sitting next to him.

“I just don't know how my parents are going to react to...this” he gestures to himself, Ted bites his lip. “I should just go in the suit” He decides, his voice emulating quite the opposite sentiment. He stands but Ted stops him in his tracks.

“Gumdrop you can wear whatever you want but please… I want you to be comfortable, not itchy and...saggy” He tries, Tommy raises a brow. “I don't remember what you said” He admits, Tommy laughs, he stands on his tiptoes planting a soft kiss on Ted’s lips.

“Hey, you two” They pull apart quickly, being interrupted by Chad. He hides a coy smile, no matter how much he loves Tommy, he is still a father and he has rules. “Almost ready to go?” He asks, Tommy nods collecting his things. He folds his clothes putting them neatly on Ted's chair, knowing he’ll be back later to collect them. Ted finishes his last arrangements before stepping out of the room following his dad to the living room. With one more unsure glance in the mirror, Tommy follows them.

“Well look at you two” Henry claps, Chad smirks giving his husband a kiss on the cheek before retreating into the kitchen for a cup of tea. “You ready to sing?” he teases, Ted moans nervous, the churning in his stomach growing. Tommy takes his hands squeezing it supportively.

“You're going to do great!” Tommy encourages, kissing his cheek just the same. Henry excuses himself to the car, packing up some things for the ceremony. Chad joins him a moment after, helping with his own load. Tommy and Ted are left in the apartment. “Ready dearest?” Tommy inquires, leading Ted to the door.

“I hope so…” Ted mutters, following Tommy. He would follow him anywhere.

~~~

“Char, you need to take a breath” Jackie suggests, Charlotte shakes her head continuing her frantic pacing. “Here have some tea” Jackie offers holding up a fresh cup, Charlotte turns to her eyes wide completely baffled.

“No! No, I can't drink anything right now unless its water! It'll create stuff in my throat!”

“Bubbles!” Jackie shouts, she doesn't mean to but she can't deal with the stress. “You need to take a breather Char, please sit down and just breathe” Jackie begs, Charlotte pouts but heeds her advice nonetheless.  

“I'm sorry I just do not want to sing, I can’t sing, why did they ask me to sing today?” Charlotte rambles. Jackie sits next to her girlfriend taking her hand softly, she kisses her cheek lightly hoping her makeup doesn't smudge. The girls were waiting now at the wedding, they were early since they were not just guests but performers. “Where is Ted? And Tommy?” Charlotte rushes “They should be here by now” She notes, Jackie nods sighing. She stands taking Charlotte with her.

“You need to dance” She decides, Charlotte laughs nervously, her breath shaky.

“Really? Right now?” Charlotte whines, Jackie nods swaying slowly around the room following the steps of the band warming up. Though a little clunky they make it through, dancing around the room and soon Charlotte forgets her past worries and allows the music to guide her. After a while they flop back onto the couch, sighing content. “Better?”

“Much better” Charlotte yawns cuddling up closer to Jackie, they have awhile before they have to do anything so they spend the rest of the time just relaxing. It's definitely just what both girls needed before the wedding.

~~~

“No no! That's supposed to be over there!” Ted corrects. The man, presumingly the one in charge of flowers, scatters fixing his mistake quickly. “Ugh imbeciles,” He says, Tommy laughs playing with Ted’s freehand while the other clutches to a clipboard. “It's not funny Tommy” Though he is still frustrated his voice softens, he's not mad at Tommy, no reason to take it out on him.

“Mmhm” Tommy hums, Ted rolls his eyes walking towards the arch. Tommy follows him admiring the garden, it was perfect. “It’s…” Tommy marvels

“Wrong! All wrong!” Ted grumbles, Tommy takes his chin facing him towards himself. “What?” Ted pouts, Tommy kisses him.

“You need to calm down, it looks beautiful dearest” Tommy complements, Ted sighs. It does look wonderful, Ted has worked hard he was just...stressed. “Now come, we have other things to check on” Tommy interlaces his fingers with a very reluctant Ted and leads him towards the two tents. They peek in waving as they approach Jackie, Charlotte, Emma and Paul.

“Looks great Ted” Paul comments, Tommy rubs his boyfriend’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Thanks I guess…” Ted grumbles looking over his list, his soft mumbling of different things he needs to do. “Ok can I enlist your help?” Ted hopes, Paul and Jackie shoot up, Tommy purses his lips happily at the trio. “Jackie can you take Emma to food? Make sure it’s all accounted for?” The girls nod sharing a quick handshake before leaving. “Awesome” He says flatly. “Gumdrop will you check in on music with Paul?” Tommy nods, Paul gives awkward finger guns before following Tommy out of the room. “Guess you're with me” He tells Charlotte, she smiles taking his hand to stand.

~~~

“S’cuse me?” Tommy asks politely tapping on one of the musicians. They turn a flashing grin on their face, Paul stands idle looking over the list Ted gave him.

“Can I help you kid?” The gruff man sounds exactly as expected, low and smooth. He takes notice of Paul, a greeting of clicking his tongue. Tommy gleams taking the list from Paul, freely of course, Paul wasn't much of a talker.  

“I just need to make sure everything is in working order!” Tommy says, the man shrugs giving him permission. “A harp player?” The man nods pointing to a woman practicing, he checks it off. Tommy continues until he's finished turning satisfactorily towards Paul, his dress spinning with him.

“I like your dress” Paul comments, Tommy smiles thankfully “Jackie I'm assuming” Tommy nods, they walk slowly now indulging a nice conversation checking in on other things just for it. It was getting heated in the most friendly way debating over silly things for the fun of it. “Oh!” Tommy exclaims delighted “You can't mean that” he laughs, Paul laughs back. “See I th-”

“Tommy?” Tommy stops turning, he might have gasped but why should he be surprised. Teagan and Eric looked so disappointed Tommy wanted to laugh, that might be the only look he’d ever seen cross their face. “What on god’s green earth are you wearing?” Teagen seethed. Tommy didn't trust himself to answer, Paul on the other hand…

“It's called a dress, miss Sweet” He informs dryly. Paul exams her outfit, thank god for Jackie “But I see how you could miss that…” He says clearly alluding towards her own outfit, she looked like an off-brand royal member. Teagans eyes widen, a vicious scoff escapes.

“Do you know who I am?” She threatens, Eric puffs out his chest.

“No, frankly I don't” Paul admits, Tommy’s shoulders fall a small pout. He appreciates what Pauls trying to do but he would like to leave. Teagan scoffs once more, Tommy averts his gaze.

“You really are quite a charmer aren't you Tommy?” She smirks, Paul ushers the pair back a little as she moves forward. “Everyone just loves you, don’t they? What are you, his other boyfriend?” And as if something connected them they both felt the same emotion. It wasn't the assumption that he was with Tommy, but the way that she talked about her son that set Paul off. Tommy felt offended on behalf of Ted and Paul, how dare she?

“Mom just stop, ok? For once don't make everything about you, it's a wedding!” Tommy exclaims, Paul smirks to the ground “I need to go help Ted so that's exactly what I'm going to do” Tommy decides, Teagan goes for more but Paul shrugs walking away following Tommy.

“That was impressive” Paul quipped, Tommy gives him a weak smile feeling more uncomfortable in his dress than ever before.

“Please don't mention it to Ted, he has enough on his plate” Tommy requests, Paul nods despite knowing he wouldn't be keeping this secret. Ted would want to know, out of all the people, he would want to know.

Paul wonders how they ended up here, the year started out so light. Racing through the halls trying to get away from a less than happy principal, playing smash bros with Ted, coffee runs with his sister. He hates to admit it but he wishes he could start the year over. He would give Ted his mom back, he wouldn't even look at Billy, he’d make it all better. It sounds stupid, he knows, but he would trade anything, anything for a year of betterment than...whatever their year was.

~~~

“Nervous?” Ted wonders, checking in on his father one last time. Henry scoffs adjusting his cufflinks in the mirror, Ted smirks. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ ” Ted teases, Henry laughs finishing his adjustments. The tent is empty now as everyone takes their position, eager to push on.

“No no, I would be nervous if I wasn't sure” Henry hums. Ted, who itches for anything of his parents past or feelings, listens. “But I have been in love with that man for over twenty-four years, I’d be more nervous at the fact that I wasn't sure” Henry jokes

“S’cute” Ted mumbles, rubbing his eyes for a smidgen of adrenaline “Well I'm going to go get started, you good in here?” Ted checks one more time. Henry nods returning to the mirror. Ted smiles as he advances to the garden, bustling people clamoring over their chairs. He spots Charlotte by the band warming up and testing her vocals with the sound. She waves brightly at him before continuing, Jackie sits watching her with pride.

“Ok fine I wouldn't kill Eugene but like-” Paul joins Ted

“It’s not even a debate Paul, there is no ‘but’” Ted replies without missing a beat. “You don't kill Eugene” Paul sighs rolling his eyes. “Don't be sad, because sad spelled backwards is das and das not gut” Ted quotes, Paul snickers nudging his friend.

“Hey, look at how far you've come” Paul reminds “You used to be a jerk, and now you're a wedding planner and a jerk” Paul jokes “But honestly, look at you! You're out, you've got an awesome boyfriend, killer friends-” He gestures to himself, Ted sucks in a sharp doubtful breath “Great parents” Paul compliments, Ted snorts

“You've been hanging out with Jackie too much” Ted decides “You forgot the alien” Ted notes, Paul cocks his head. “The one I rescued from Area 51? Yeah, his name is Gordon and he's a chef” Ted announces, Paul nods diligently “Not to sound sad on main but you ever miss…” He trails off

“The beginning of the year? Yeah kinda” Paul admits finishing Ted’s thought. “Ted your mom would be really proud of you, seriously. She would love Tommy, she’s always loved your voice and acting, and you planned a wedding!” Paul rejoices, Ted gives him a grateful smile in return. “Also I have reserved one dance for us, because no matter what you and Tommy are, we are the OG's” He says wistfully, Ted throws his head back laughing.

“Still not interested Paul” Ted teases thinking back on his many years of putting up with his best friend.

“Still don’t care” He quips in return, Ted rolls his eyes. “Hey look its-

“My bitch” Ted instantly shakes his head “Nope, not me, did not work, regret it, 0/10 would not recommend,” He says as Tommy approaches a confused look befalls his face. Tommy smiles wary, Paul tries hard not to laugh but nods. “Hi” He says simply

“Hi dear...you good?” Tommy checks, Ted gives him to thumbs up, blushing red as he does so.

“Yes I think everything is ready and gucci to go” He decides going through his list one more time. Emma approaches sliding her hand into Pauls, he greets her with a kiss before turning to Ted.

“Flowers are good to go! And so is everything else!” She muses, Ted shoots her a grateful glances. “All there’s left is to-”

“Get married” The group turns, Chad stands proudly, Ted smirks nodding his head.

“Looking good pops!” He shakes his head instantly, Tommy and Paul stifle more laughs. Ted turns to Tommy sighing “I need sleep” He nods leading his boyfriend towards the seats. Chad smiles allowing the rest of the children to take their seats. “I’ll be right back” Ted whispers going up to his father.

“Sup” Chad jokes, Ted laughs rolling his eyes. Chad nudges his son, giving him a tight hug. “Thank you Ted”  The boy cocks his head “For everything, out of all of this, you are the best thing to happen all year”

“Hey, that's not fair to me” The pair turn, small gasps from Chad as his eyes fall on Henry. Ted gleams nodding.

“I am pretty amazing” Ted teases, Henry shoves him receiving one back. They continue before Henry ultimately wins, wrapping his arms around Ted. “Ew affection”

“I’m marrying a child” Chad mumbles rolling his eyes as he separates the pair. “If we ever get married” He groans, Henry pouts but nods defeated.

“Alright, I’m going dear” He says, a quick squeeze to Chad's arm before he rushes to the altar. Chad turns to Ted nodding, a brief hug before Ted returns to Tommy. He looks to Charlotte who might be too busy watching Jackie, a clearing of the throat and she begins.

“Wise men say…” She starts slow, her voice carrying as the crowd silences. Chad shakes his head playfully, remembering the first time he did this. A lot less people were there, and hell was he nervous. “Only fools rush in” She sings, smiling at her professor. Chad takes a breath before taking his first step. It's silly isn't it, they didn't have to go through all of this. They were dramatic though, what did you expect?

Soon enough he finds himself at the end of the aisle and shaking. Ted stands leading him the final way up, kissing both his parents on the cheek as the song finishes he sits once more.

“Falling in love….with..you” She bows accordingly before taking an excited chair next to Jackie. A sweet kiss as congratulations. The ceremony went pretty fast on its own.

“Chad, my love” Henry begins, soon enough wailing and sobs can be heard. Henry sighs as Chad laughs through his tears. “We have been together for twenty four years, you have been my-

“Dad! You’re boring me!” Ted interjects. Henry turns, scoffing. Ted smiles as Tommy buries his head.  “Kidding!” Henry faces Chad once more.

“Could I borrow that” He gestures to Chads bouquet, his partner laughs handing it over. He chucks it delicately at Ted who catches it, the crowd laughs. “Ok, anyway” He eyes Ted “Chad, I don't have much more to say that I haven't told you every morning and every night. I love you, more than words or weddings or anything can describe. I would give you the world, but you are my world” Chad stifles his own sobs, squeezing maybe a little harder than he needed to on Henry's hands.

“Fuck, that’s a really good line” Ted whispers to Tommy, his boyfriend takes his hand and places it over Ted’s mouth. “Mmmmmmmm” He tries to speak.

“I love you but shush” Tommy begs, Ted rolls his eyes but agrees.

“My turn!” Chad hopes, practically buzzing with affection and adoration.“Henry, from the moment I saw you across the highschool theatre, to the moment you kissed me under the barren lights of the stage” Henry smirks, feeling a blush occur. “I love you, I don't know how else to put it. How do you put the truth into words? I love you so much Henry” He admits, not...no not admits. Reaffirms, as he would do until the day he took a dying breath. Soon enough the ‘I do’s’ are through and their lips are locked. Cheers erupt as they embrace excited, a much too impatient Ted jumps up wrapping them up in his arms. And for this moment, just this frozen sophisticated moment of pure delight.

It was perfect

...for now

[staticscreenwriting]

Love was just a word - Billy Hargrove

Synopsis: Billy wants to start fresh after Highschool. But that means facing the past and that’s scary. Also abandoned pools are romantic.

A/N: This is my entry for @hotstuffhargrove‘s Summer Writing Challenge.  I had the prompts "want a ride" and "is that your idea of flirting". This is over 8k words so, it’s long be warned. Also I’m gonna read through and edit this tomorrow morning I’m so close to falling asleep (forgive me small mistakes please). Feedback, as always, is appreciated.

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

I thought that love was just a word They sang about in songs I heard It took your kisses to reveal That I was wrong, and love is real

The california sun burns down on his skin with familiar warmth as Billy leans against the outside wall of a tall brick building. There’s vines covering the front and a big white sign proudly displaying the name of the institution, “ Daisy Fields nursing home”.

His hands feel clammy as he takes yet another drag of what’s probably his 3rd cigarette in the matter of half an hour.  Every time he feels like taking a step forward and entering the building, his heart speeds up and it feels like his legs are made of solid concrete. If Neil could see him now, it would just confirm all the taunts he’s been throwing at Billy for years.

There’s people walking in and out of the big red doors. Most of them are smiling. He wishes so deeply that this is what things are like for him. That walking inside will end up in him smiling the way those people do. That facing the life he’s left behind means being welcomed home with open arms and friendly words. He’s afraid that is not how things are gonna be.

“ Hey,“ a voice speaks up from besides him as he blows the cigarette smoke into the open air. “ Can I help you ? “

There’s a girl who seems to be around his age. Her hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail and her eyes look exhausted but there’s a certain softness to the way she looks at him that makes Billy feel conflicted. People don’t look at him with soft eyes. They haven’t for a long time. It’s either rage or admiration or lust. There’s no inbetween. Those are the emotions he’s familiar with. The emotions he knows how to deal with.

“ Hello ? “ it’s when she speaks up again and raises an eyebrow in question, that he realizes she’s still waiting for an answer. But really, what can he say. Can she help? Not really.

“ No I uh — no. “

“ You sure ? Are you here to visit someone ? I can see if they’re ready to welcome a visitor. I work he—”

“ I said no!”

He doesn’t mean for it to come out like this. Mean and snippy and loud. It’s just too much right now. Coming back to California and facing the life he has left behind. All of it is crashing down on him all at the same time and it’s — it’s a lot.

“ Oh, okay. Well in case you change your mind... “ she trails off. Billy wonders if she doesn’t know how to end the sentence or if he’s supposed to guess how it ends.

“ If you change your mind and decide not to be such a fucking pussy and finally face the consequences of all the stupid decisions you’ve ever made, just come inside”.

Yeah that sounds about right.

He finishes the cigarette before getting into the car and speeding off. Back to Chase’s flat. The one that’s too small for even one person, let alone two. Billy sleeps on a two-seater couch he suspects is from sometime between the early stone age and 1950. It squeaks every time he as much as takes a deep breath. There’s springs painfully pressing into his back and he has to sleep in a fetus position so his legs don’t hang off of the couch from the knee down.

But really, beggars can’t be choosers now can they ? Chase doesn’t have to let him stay at his place and yet he does anyway. Sure they’ve been best friends since as long as Billy can remember, but that was never the friendship they had and it still isn’t the friendship they have. Things with Chase are easy. It’s all the fun and loyalty that the best friendships come with only there’s no expectations. No pressure to be someone you’re not. Neither Chase nor Billy had expected the other to get in contact during Billy’s stint in Indiana and yet they both knew that if things go real bad they could count on the other to be there. Chase is a good friend, Billy thinks, maybe the best. But he’s a god awful roommate and those are the fact.

Billy Hargrove is a lot of things but he’s not messy. Never was. Even as a child, being clean and tidy was something that had been drilled into his head like a fucking commandment. Neil hates messes. Physical ones and emotional ones. In the Hargrove household you learn to either put your stuff away or never see it again because Neil has gotten rid of it. In the Hargrove household you really learn to cherish the things that are exclusively yours and you learn to take the utmost care of them.

When Billy arrives back at the flat, he finds it empty. What else has he expected really ? Chase works full time at the gas station. It’s an exhausting shop and he has to work a lot of night shifts but it pays well enough and he has first hand access to all kids of booze. He’s also mentioned that a lot of chicks hit up the station on their way to the bar, to pregame or some shit like that. Billy has yet to test that statement on its actual truth.

As his eyes move around the room, glancing at what is his life right now, Billy starts to wonder if this is really living. Maybe it’s just existing. All his belongings are stuffed into two grey duffle bags. He’s lodging on his friends couch eating his friend’s food and acting as a silent side character in his friend’s life.

He’s got no job, no perspective and not idea where to go from here. This is not the life he wants to live. But changing means facing all the shit that’s gone wrong and Billy isn’t sure if he’s quite ready to do that.

- OOO - 

It’s 3 days later that he finds himself in the same position, leaning against the same building, smoking a cigarette and wiping his clammy hands on his jeans.

He watches as an older lady talks to a family. Her family, probably. They are smiling and laughing and the little girl that is with them, cuddles close to the older woman. Love is radiating from every corner as he looks at them. They all look so all consumingly happy. He thinks that maybe things here aren’t so bad. Maybe they’re good. Maybe they’re happy. That should ease his conscience a little, right ? Right ? Only it doesn’t. Not even a little bit.

“ Billy ? “

It the same girl from the other day, only this time her hair is down and she’s carrying a guitar case.

“ What ? “

“ That’s your name, right ? “ she asks, eyebrows raised.

“ Yeah. How to hell do you know that. “

She smiles at him and when usually is would make him angry, Billy can’t help but let her smile sooth him a little. It’s so soft and full of something Billy can’t put a finger too. It’s like she’s smiling because she means it not because she feels like it’s expected of her.

“ William Collins is one of our residents. He has a picture of you in his room. I thought you looked familiar the other day and I finally remembered. I mean sure, you’re like 8 in that picture and you’ve grown quite a bit since then — “ Billy almost can’t suppress the smirk trying to spread on his lips as she says that and glances towards his arms “ — but your eyes. Those are still the same. “

Billy loves his eyes. They’re the one thing about him that most resembles his mother. The only other thing he really ever loved in his life.

“ Is that your idea of flirting ? Cause it’s not working, sorry “

She laughs at that and Billy reconsiders his last words there for a moment. Maybe it is working. Her laugh is phenomenal, he thinks.

“ No. No I — that would be a tad unprofessional. So, am I correct ? “

She is. He knows what picture she’s talking about. It’s one that had been sitting on his grandparents’ mantelpiece when he was younger. It’s of him and their dog Charlie. He’s smiling at the camera. Smiling at his mother who’s behind the camera. That day, was one of the good ones. A day when things had gotten too bad at home and mom had packed him into the car and had driven them to his grandparents’ house. He was happy there because mom was happy there and because there were people there who loved him. Who wanted him around. Sometimes he wishes his mom had been smart enough to leave Neil behind. That she would’ve ignored her soft heart that still held even an ounce of love for her husband. That she and Billy had just stayed with Grandma and Grandpa. Maybe then things would’ve been different. Maybe things would be different now. Alas they aren’t. They’re as shit as they are.

“ Why do you even care “

It’s a knee-jerk reaction. One he displays every time someone asks too much, wants to know too much. It’s just easier this way. In the end, no one really cares anyway. People are just nosy assholes.

“ Well clearly you care too. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here, huh ? I just thought maybe you’d like to come in, see William. He’s doing well so — “

“ Look, you don’t know anything, okay ? So how about you don’t try to mendle in my family life, yeah ? Fucking ridiculous. “

Hearing that his Granddad is doing well, make him feel a little better about everything. Doesn’t mean it gets easier though. The weight still feels heavy on his shoulders. Like he’s Atlas and the guilt of his past is the world on his back.

“ I was just trying to be nice. I think he’d like to see you, that’s all I wanted to say. Have a nice day, Billy ! “

Her words are laced with an underlying fury and a very obvious disdain for the way he’s been talking to her. Billy thinks he liked the soft looks better. The smiles too. Then again, it’s his own fault really. People have their breaking points and they have every right to be pissed off at his attitude towards them. God he wishes he wasn’t such a fuck-up.

He can just hear Neil’s cruel laugh in the back of his mind. The constant scoffs at Billy. He wishes there was a way to make them shut up. To quiet his mind. Ways that don’t turn him into a horrible person. Like the alcohol did to Neil.

His eyes follow the girl as she hurries inside the building. One of these days he’s gonna muster up to courage to do the same. To face it all. Not today though. Not on a day that make him so painfully aware of all that is going wrong in his life.

Billy thought that once he was free of his father’s radical tyranny, life would be easier. He truly believed that as soon as he was back in California, back home, things would just work themselves out. Spoiler alert : They don’t. And maybe that’s the typical teenage angst talking but he feels so desperately lost. And maybe all teens do but most of them have someone to turn to. All Billy has is a father that detests him and a Grandfather he can’t bear to look in the eyes.

- OOO -

There’s moans coming from the bedroom when Billy enters the apartment. Apparently Chase had a point when he said his job at the gas station was great for picking up girls.

Billy tries to ignore it for a while but really the place is the size of a matchbox and it’s hard to focus on anything else. A look inside the fridge tells him that in favor of entertaining the girl in his bedroom, Chase has ditched on doing a grocery run.

That settles it for Billy. He grabs his keyes and jacket and rushes back through the door and out into the night, looking for a place to eat. A place of peace and quiet.

- OOO -

Billy walks out of the 7/11 and onto the parking lot. The ground is still wet from the rain that has swept over the town earlier today. The neon lights reflecting in the puddles create a ocean of reds and pinks and bright greens. And if it wasn’t such a mundane thing, Billy would almost thing it looks pretty.

Just as he is about to fumble his car keys from the pocket of his denim jacket, a voice from beside him speaks up.

“ Hey stranger. “

Billy lifts his head and glances towards the car parked two spots from his. There on the hood sits the girl from the nursing home. The one with the soft eyes. The one that talks to much. He hair isn’t pulled into a ponytail this time and she’s wearing a big grey sweater of some sports team. It’s quite that change from what Billy assumes is her usual uniform.

There’s a few boxes of food placed on her lap and it would be a lie to say that the thought of greasy fast food doesn’t make Billy’s mouth water. All he could manage to buy with the few dollars he has saved is a box of graham crackers and a bag of off brand nacho chips.

“ You know at this point I start wondering if you’re maybe stalking me “ Billy exclaims and walks towards her car. It’s a black Mercury Comet. It’s gorgeous.

“ You come to my workplace. So really who’s doing the stalking “ she laughs and takes a sip from the plastic cup clutched in her hand.

Billy only scoffs “ nice car “.

“ Thanks. She’s a gift from my dad. Ya know, it makes up for the emotional abandonment he put me through. “

Billy almost chokes on his spit at those words.

“ Your car ain’t bad either. Sooo, is that your dinner ? “ she asks and glances towards the bag of chips in Billy’s hand.

“ What about it ? “

“ That’s not very nutritious “

“ And onion rings are ? “ there’s a smirk pulling at the edge of his lips. It’s involuntarily but it’s there.

“ No but they’re really delicious “ the girl replies before holding the box out towards Billy “ and I got a little too much food so it’s your lucky night I guess. Care to join my feast ? “

For a moment he wants to say no, but what’s the alternative ? Eat chips and crackers alone in his car or go home and listen to Chase bang some random girl ?

Maybe sharing fast food on the hood of a car with some girl he just met isn’t the worst way to spend his friday night.

“ What’s your name ? “ he asks as he scoots onto the hood next to her and grabs a few fries from the box.

“ (Y/N) “

“ I’m — “

“ Billy, I know. “

“ Yeah you do. I forgot “

“ So what brings you to a 7/11 parking lot in the middle of the night on a friday ? Didn’t expect to have company tonight “

“ You do this regularly ? “ Billy laughs and munches away on another onion ring.

“ Oh whatever. “

“ I’m staying with a friend and he’s got a girl over so — “

“ Yikes, awkward “

“ Yeah. What about you ? “

(Y/N) takes another loud sip from the plastic cup “ My roommate and her boyfriend are having some epic meltdown. They have those about twice a week. Then they usually end up either crying or fucking and I’m not particularly thrilled on being around when either of that happens. “

“ Yikes. “

“ Uh-huh. “

For a moment silence settles upon them, the only thing to be heard is the buzzing sound of the neon lights. Then (Y/N) speaks up again.

“ Can I ask about the hair ? “

“ Absolutely not ! We’re not doing that. “ Bill grumbles in return.

“ Doing what ? “

“ Backstory. I don’t do that kinda stuff. “

“ Oh I’m sorry, “ (Y/N) scoffs and raises her hands in mock defence “ didn’t know you were playing the whole silent and mysterious kinda role. “

“ I don’t. Just isn’t any of your business. “

“ That’s fair “ she agrees and shakes the plastic cup only to discover it empty. Her lips are pulled into a slight pout. It’s hardly there before it’s gone but Billy just about catches a glimpse of it.

“ Guess that’s my cue to get my ass home, huh ? “ (Y/N) jokes and rattles the empty cup once again.

“ You think your friends are done ? “ Billy asks, raising a brow in question.

“ God I hope so. What about yours ? “

“ Knowing Chase, yeah. “

And it’s when they both chuckle at his words, that Bill feels something unfamiliar settling in his chest. It feels warm and comfortable and even though it’s only faint, it’s there. Joy.

They wish each other a good night and it’s not just empty words like when he says it to Neil and Susan after dinner, it’s a true statement. He hopes she has a good night, if simply for the fact that she made him feel less alone in the last few hours she’s sure deserving of it.

When he’s just about to get into his car, (Y/N)’s voice calls out to Billy once more.

“ You know, I think he would really like to see you. Maybe — maybe come inside next time and say hello. “

He doesn’t answer. Just nods. Maybe. Yeah maybe next time he will.

- OOO -

He doesn’t. But in his defence, there’s a pretty valid reason for it. At least he likes to tell himself that. He’s got a job now, one he absolutely hates but one that makes it possible for him to eat actual proper food for dinner and rent a tiny apartment at the edge of town. Is it nice there ? No. But is it better than sleeping on a couch that is too small for him ? Absolutely.

After leaving Hawkins, Billy never thought he’d ever be a lifeguard again but here he is, doing exactly the thing he said he wouldn’t at the public swimming pool. And it’s not even an outdoors pool as he had hoped. It’s inside and it’s mostly visited by old people and groups of mothers trying to teach their toddlers how to swim. Billy hates it but it seems to be the only job people are willing to give him. The only one people are willing to trust him with. He can’t blame them either. It’s not like he’s got this great resume of talents and job experience to wow them with. And really, and job is better than being dependant on Chase for everything.

It’s 3 weeks later now and he’s still feeling the invisible force holding his legs down and keeping him from entering the building. It’s ridiculous really, deep inside he knows that none of what happened was his fault, that he was just a kid. And yet it does nothing to ease his conscience.

“ You’re back again. Thought I scared you off with my bad jokes and fast food obsession “

There’s a smile on (Y/N)’s face as she exits the building and comes to a stop next to Billy. She looks tired, he wonders if it’s the job or the late night trips to 7/11.

“ Don’t flatter yourself. I’m not scared of anything “

What a load of bullshit. Billy is scared of pretty a lot of things he’s just become very good at pretending that nothing ever bothers him. He knows it’s bullshit though and by the looks of it and the little smirk playing on her lips (Y/N) knows too.

“ You gonna come inside today ? “ she asks, voice laced with hope and excitement. He hates disappointing her but he just can’t do it. There’s so many voices in his head telling him to just get it over with. But there’s one that’s louder than all the others and it’s pulling at his arms, holding down his feet. Not allowing him to step any closer to the door. That one is pure and unfiltered fear and he hates it more than anything.

Billy Hargrove is afraid of a lot of things and mostly fear itself.

“ Nah. Brought you something though “

“ Me ? “ (Y/N) exclaims, pointing at herself in disbelieve.

Billy scoff around his cigarette and holds a paper bag out to her “ It’s not much, don’t make a big deal out of it. “

“ Oh it’s a big deal. “

“ It’s not. Just — fucking take it. “

Grabbing the bag from his hand, (Y/N) walks towards the little picnic bench and pulls out two grilled cheese sandwiches and a can of coke.

“ You brought me food ? Aw, that’s so nice. This is a big deal, no boy has ever brought me food before. “

“ I said it’s not — “

“ Yeah yeah whatever you say. “

As she’s sitting down and munching away on one of the sandwiches, Billy can feel his cheeks warm up. It’s not in the same way they do when girls whisper dirty things into his ear. It’s a different feeling. One that he is not entire sure about. People don’t usually think he’s nice. No one ever called him that before. Hot ? Yeah. Charming ? Sure. But nice ? Nah.

And Billy always thought nice wasn’t as much of a compliment as it was a soft letdown. “You’re nice, but- “ .

There seems to be no “but” following (Y/N)’s words. “Nice” sounds so genuine coming from her. “Nice” sounds like the best thing anyone could be, when she says it.

“ What, you just gonna stand there and watch me eat ? Sit down, dude “

Her words are accompanied by her sliding the other sandwich over to him and nodding towards the bench across from hers. “ You brought two sandwiches for a reason. Sit down. Eat with me. Please “

Her eyes hold something that Billy hasn’t seen in so long. It’s a certain warmth. A care that runs deeply. He doesn’t know why she cares about him nor what he did to deserve it but when life grants you a good thing, you don’t fucking ask any questions. You take it.

And so he takes the seat she offered and starts chewing away on the sandwich.

“ You from here ? “ he murmures between bites.

“ Huh ? “

“ I said are you from here ? “

“ Oh I thought we weren’t doing this. Backstory an all. What made you change your mind “.

He can see she’s challenging him. The softness of her eyes is overshadowed by a glint of mischief and her lips are pulled into a teasing smirk. If this was pre-Hawkins Billy, he would’ve taken none of it. Girl like that mean work. Girls who challenge you are exhausting. Girls like that didn’t interest him in a way that he wasn’t willing to put in any effort for a small dose of bliss that comes with a blowjob or a quicky in the back of his car.

But this was a new life right ? One where he got a job not to impress people but to secure a future. To make money and to get stuff done. To maybe, one day, have a life that he can be proud of. And maybe a future that’s fit for a girl like (Y/N). That challenges him and keeps him on his toes. One worth putting in effort.

“ Guess I changed my mind “

“ Oh we’re playing like that now. Alright, okay. Yeah I’m from California. Not here but further north. Came down south for a boy. Regret the boy but not the move. Now I work as a receptionist at a nursing home. I wanted to be a nurse but couldn’t afford nursing school. So this is the next best thing. I get to hang out with the people who live here and sometimes I play guitar for them. It’s all good. “

With the warmth in her voice and the softness in her eyes, Billy can imagine she’d make a wonderful nurse. Hell she’s only met him like four times and already shows more care towards him than his father and Susan ever did. It’s quite sad to think about it that way.

“ What about you ? “

“ California born and raised. Then my dad and his wife thought it was a good idea to move to the literal buthole of america. Fucking Hawkins Indiana. “

“ Seems like you loved it there “ (Y/N) jokes before opening the can of coke and taking a sip.

“ Oh it was great. Everything you ever want in life ? It’s there. Horny housewives. Loud teenagers. People who get in your business constantly. Everything! Oh it was — incredible! “

(Y/N) nods and for a moment it almost feels like she understand. He knows she doesn’t. No one ever really can understand what the move meant to him but she’s listening and that’s a hell of a lot more than anyone’s done before.

“ Sounds delightful. Soooo, can I ask about the hair ?” she says and looks up at him through her eyelashes, seeming almost shy.

Billy feels weirdly self conscious. He’s heard his fair share of comments about the mullet. And if he’s being completely honest, he knows it looks kinda ridiculous sometimes when the perm is fresh and the curls still bouncy. But it’s the complete opposite of what his dad deems a respectable haircut. It’s so far off from the straight buzzcut Neil wants him to wear. And pissing Neil off is reason enough for Billy to cherish the mullet. But through the years he’s grown to love his hair and how it makes him — kinda special. It’s his thing just like the Camaro is and the necklace and the leather jacket. It’s part of what make him well — him.

And the girls go crazy for it too so that’s an added bonus.

“ What is it about my hair ? “

“ I don’t know, I just think it’s cool. Really contrasts your sad eyes. “

Sad eyes ? Billy doesn’t have sad eyes, does he ? Surely not because Billy isn’t sad. He’s angry and grumpy and perpetually pissed off. But he’s not sad. Sad people are vulnerable and that’s the last thing Billy would ever allow himself to be.

“ I’m not sad ! “

“ You sure ? Cause you look mighty sad. “

“ I said I’m not sad. Drop it. “

“ Alright. Alright. Sorry. Just — your hair looks really cool. I like it. “

And once again, his cheeks feel slightly warmer at that.

“ Hey I got a job “ he doesn’t know for sure why he says it. It’s not like he’s proud of the job he’s doing. All he does is make sure no one’s running on the wet floor and the old folks don’t drown on his watch. That’s about it. And he’s only earning minimum wage, barely enough to afford the apartment and food. So he surely can’t impress her with money either. Maybe he just wants someone to be proud of him for once. Even if it’s this random girls he’s been infatuated with since he first saw her. Maybe especially when it’s this girl.

“ Yeah ? That’s great. What are you doing ? “

It’s then, that he regrets ever mentioning it.

“ I uh— I’m a lifeguard at the indoor swimming pool “ he’s sure his voice tells her exactly how much he enjoys that job, not at all.

But to his surprise, she doesn’t laugh at him. Doesn’t ridicule him for his choice of work. She just smiles and that means the world to Billy.

“ That’s cool. Saving people from drowning huh ? “

“ I mostly tell kids not to run. “

“ Well you’re keeping them from getting hurt. Good for you. Didn’t even know we have a public swimming pool. I should check it out sometime. “

And by the way she smiles he can tell she means it.

- OOO -

In the following months their little lunch dates become somewhat of a habit. Billy shows up at her work at least twice a week with sandwiches or burgers and sometimes he even brings milkshakes. And though neither of them will admit it, it’s secretly the highlight to both their weeks.

Billy still doesn’t come inside. Still doesn’t visit his grandpa. Guilt still feels too heavy on his shoulders to even consider that. But seeing (Y/N) for their lunch dates, makes that weight feel almost light for the short amount of time they’re spending together. She’s always genuinely glad to see him. She’s all smiles and soft eyes and Billy doesn’t remember a time when someone actually wanted him around in that way. That someone was happy to spend time with him. It feels good and it makes the guilt disappear for a while.

Fall turns into winter when Billy decides to shake up their little routine. The air is colder and Christmas is fast approaching. Though it’s still California and cold, Billy thinks, is relative. The California winters have nothing on Indiana. That place almost made his balls freeze off.

Billy doesn’t come around for lunch that day. Instead, (Y/N) is surprised to discover him leaning against her car as she gets out of work. It’s a late shift and she’s exhausted but seeing Billy waiting for her feels weirdly domestic. It’s a nice feeling. One she hasn’t felt in a while.

“ Want a ride ? “ he asks, signature Billy grin pulling at the corner of his lips.

“ Nooo, you’re leaning against my ride. “

“ Ah come on, play along. “

“ Alright sure. Where to ? “

“ It’s a surprise “

“ A surprise ? “ (Y/N) responds, her forehead wrinkling as she pulls a face of confusion. “ Are you taking me on a date ? “

Is he ? He wonders that himself. He likes this girl, there’s no denying that. Thing is, he’s been on many dates and none of them came from a friendship. None of them were with girls that made his heart feels warm and fuzzy and light. So what is this exactly ? He doesn’t know. All he knows is that it feels good. That it feels right.

“ Just stop asking questions and let me surprise you, alright ? “

When she smiles, Billy can’t keep himself from hoping this is a date. Because her smile, as he said before, is phenomenal.

- OOO -

“ Nooo way! Are we even allowed to be here ? “ (Y/N)’s eyes are wide with disbelieve as she enters the big hall of the public swimming pool. The place is glowing in a blue hue as the pool lies still before them. A perpetual smell of chlorine seeps through her clothes as she walks closer towards the water.

“ I work here I am contractually obligated to be here even. “

“ But not at night when it’s supposed to be closed, you’re not. “

“ Ah come on now, take a walk on the wild side. Thought you girls are into that kinda stuff ? “

“ Breaking and entering ? “

“ Bad boys. Also I have a key so technically — “

He trails off as he pulls his shirt over his head.

“ What are you doing ? “

“ Well I’m not gonna swim in my jeans and shirt. And you shouldn’t either. You didn’t bring a change of clothes “.

The way her eyes wander up and down his body as he slips out of his clothes leaving him only in his boxers, doesn’t get lost on Billy. Billy is familiar with that reaction. He knows he’s good looking and he’s surely got the ego to match. But seeing that he has this effect on (Y/N) makes him feel like a million bucks.

“ I’d love to let you ogle me some more but I’m here to swim “ Billy exclaims.

“ I’m not ogling —” but before (Y/N) can finish her sentence, Billy cannonballs into the pool, creating a huge splash.

When he comes up again, his curls cling to his face and (Y/N) thinks he looks a little like a wet cocker spaniel. She also thinks he looks absolutely adorable.

“ Come on in ! You scared or what ? “ Billy hollers out towards her.

“ Scared ? Please. “

Billy knows she likes this. The challenge. The teasing. It comes so easy with her. Billy wonders if this is what was missing from his life for so long. Someone that feels easy to be around. Where he doesn’t have to walk on eggshells. Where he doesn’t have to uphold a certain image. Where he can be — well himself. The version of himself he wants to be.

“ Turn around “ (Y/N) calls out to him, slipping off her jacket in the process.

“ What ? “

“ I don’t come prepared so please spare me the embarrassment of having to show you my ugly non-matching underwear “

Billy tries hard to keep the images at bay that those words stir up in his mind. He’s sure she looks perfect whatever underwear she’s wearing, matching or not. But he can’t let himself think about that now because he’s only in his boxers and there’s no way to properly hide a boner and now THAT would be fucking embarrassing.

“ Alright, look. I’m turning around. Just hurry up! “

There’s a rustling of clothes as Billy stands with his back towards (Y/N) and before he can react a splash of water washes over him.

(Y/N) shakes her wet hair as she comes back up to the surface and Billy thinks she’s never looked better. Her hair is a wet mess clinging tightly to her skin and she’s got mascara running down her cheeks but god, that smile. That smile could light up an entire town, he’s sure.

“ You look like a poodle. Your curls are so cute “ she says and softly tugs on on a strand of Billy’s hair.

“ A poodle huh ? That’s just what every guys wants to hear when on a date. “

“ So this is a date ? “ (Y/N) asks again, a spark of curiosity in her eyes.

“ Do you want it to be ? “ he says it in a way that sounds so casual. Like it doesn’t make his heart beat faster. Like it’s no big deal. It is a big deal though. It’s a huge deal.

“ I do, “ he swears his heart beat out of his chest at those words. “ I just wish there was music. “

“ You want music ? “ Billy chimes up.

“ Can you do that ? “

He only answers her by throwing her a wink before hopping out of the pool and walking towards the little lifeguard office. It’s mostly used to store the first aid kit and the lost and found box but it also holds the intercom system and the radio that has horrible reception and really only works for one or two stations. Billy only hopes that the gods or whatever higher powers people chose to believe in are on his side tonight and that the radio is gonna play some good stuff.

A static sound fills the room as Billy presses the button of the intercom. He sets it so the it stays on without having to press the button the entire time and clears his throat once before speaking into the little microphone. “ Ladies and Gentlemen, as requested by our special guest miss (Y/N), please enjoy tonight’s musical entertainment, provided to you by— “ he pauses and turns the radio towards the microphone, “ Billy Idol. Eh, could be worse “.

Billy Idol’s “Eyes without a face” echoes through the halls of the pool. (Y/N) can’t help but feel like she’s stuck in a scene from her very own romance movie. Sure, maybe splashing around in a closed public swimming pool isn’t everyone’s dream date but to her it seems perfect.

It’s her and Billy and things don’t have to be perfect. They don’t have to be everyone else’s perception of romantic. She thinks it’s very charming. It feels a little magical even. And in the end that’s all that really matters, isn’t it ?

Her thoughts are interrupted as Billy jumps back into the pool, creating yet another huge splash.

And before either of them can really process what’s happening, they’re caught in the bliss of the moment, splashing and jumping and pushing each other into the water. It’s like for a moment nothing else matters. It’s light and easy and fun. They’re allowed to be the teenagers they are. For a night they get to forget about work and money and all the other shit weighing so heavy on their hearts and just — be. Just be silly teenagers playing around in a pool. Unbothered. Free.

Billy tries to remember the last time he got to feel like this. It’s been a while.

He wants to stay in this moment forever. Capture it in a freeze frame and never leave. Because the walls of this pool hold only laughter right now, and it’s all he ever wants to hear. All he ever wants to feel.

Billy’s chest is heaving from exhaustion. Exhaustion caused by fun. By laughter. As he leans against the side of the pool, (Y/N) surfaces right before him. There’s a shine in her eyes and he wonders if he’s the one who put it there. He hopes he is.

She’s so close now, nose almost touching his and it sends a flutter right to his stomach. Really, it’s silly. He shouldn’t be this nervous. He’s been with a lot of girls, has done a lot of things. Why does this feel so different ? Maybe because this isn’t a mean to shut up the voices. To take his mind off of all the shit going on around him. This one feels different because it is. Because it means more. Because it means so much more.

“ Hi “ she whispers, water droplets pearling down her face. She reminds him of a mermaid then, like she jumped right out of that movie Splash. Not that he’s seen much of it or can remember the plot very well, but he does remember Daryl Hannah alright. He thinks (Y/N) looks even more beautiful.

“ Hey. “

From then on, it’s heavy breathing and speeding hearts and hesitant soft touches. And then his hands find the way into her wet hair and onto her cheek and her lips brush against his. It’s merely a whisper of a touch but it’s sending little electric shocks straight through his heart and all throughout Billy’s body.

And then he pulls her as close as he can manage and kisses her just like he’s been wanting to kiss her since they hung out at the parking lot and he realized just how wonderful she really was, all bright eyes and big smiles and all.

And then — then she pulls away. The shine in her eyes is gone and is replaced by a look of utter uncertainty and hesitance.

“ You alright ? “ he asks, hands still cradling her face.

“ I like you “

Those words send another shock to his heart. He can feel the smile tugging at the corner of his lips but something about the way she says it makes him hold back.

“ I like you too. “

“ No, you don’t understand. I like you. I — I love spending time with you. You make me smile and laugh and my heart feels all gooey when you’re around but — “

There’s always a but isn’t there.

“ But ? “

“ But I feel like I don’t know you at all. I understand that you have a hard time talking about certain things and I am trying to be patient but how can I let myself fall for you when I don’t know who you are. Like — who you really are. There’s clearly things in your past that make you sad and that weigh down on you. Those things shape you in a way, they make out part of who you are and I feel like you’re purposely keeping those things from me. But how can I know you if I never get the full picture ? I want this so badly, Billy. I’m just afraid that you’ll always be a riddle to me in one way or another. “

No one’s ever asked that of him, really. There’s been girls that had this weird idea of being some kind of savior. They wanted to fix whatever they deemed broken about him and thought that their adoration could in any way lessen his greive. Though they never outright asked him about any of it. They got their gossip from whatever nosy bitch dug deep enough to figure it all out and spread it through the high school hallways. But no one’s ever asked. Until (Y/N).

And it makes all the difference.

“ My mom is dead and my dad is an abusive asshole. That’s the beginning and the end of my personality. And it turns me into a mean person. An angry one and I — I don’t want to be that person. I come with a lot of baggage and I am sorry if that’s too much but I want to be with you too. You’re the first person in a long time to actually give a shit and I am fucking ecstatic that you do. Because you’re hot and beautiful and a little weird and I’m so into that. Look I want to tell you everything but I don’t even understand half the things myself. I’ll try though. I’ll fucking try my best. If that’s good enough “.

“ That’s all I’m asking. “

He’s never been good enough. It’s a strange feeling to be told that this time he is. A good feeling. And really, he’s unsure of how to handle this. How to react.

So he reacts in a way he knows very well.

With a kiss. And another. And another.

And when he pulls away to take a breath, foreheads still touching, she takes his face in between her hands. They’re soft and gentle and it’s a complete contrast to the harsh slaps against his face that he is so painfully used to.

“ Sad boy, you’re making me fall so deeply in love with you.”

If only he could put into words how much that means to him.

If only he could articulate how much she means to him.

- OOO -

The world shift a little after that night. Billy still comes around for lunch dates but he also brings her around his flat and they spend a lot of time just lounging on his tiny couch, sharing kisses and watching Cheers.

Billy soaks it up like a sponge. The love and affection she showers him with is so foreign to him but it feels too good to deny himself to relish in it.

It’s a few weeks later, Christmas lights cover the little bushes in front of the retirement home, as Billy sits on the bench as usual, taking long drag from his cigarette.

(Y/N) mentioned once, how much she enjoys the christmas time and kept gushing about the twinkling lights that Billy’s neighbours have strung up in their front yard. Billy thinks he might have to drop by a store and get some for his place. She’s  over there a lot and he’s sure it will make her smile. Her smile is worth all the hassle.

He watches an older couple sit by the little gazebo in front of the building. The man is softly holding onto the lady’s hand, keeping them warm in the chilly winter air. Up until this point, Billy hasn’t really given any thought to what his life might by like in the future. When he’s old and gray. It never really mattered. Now that he watches the couple, he hopes that his future resembles this someday. And he hopes it’s (Y/N) hands he gets to hold, wrinkles and all.

(Y/N) rests a soft hand on Billy’s shoulder. She’s always gentle with him, something he’s infinitely grateful for.

“ Hey Babe, I — “ his words get stuck in his throat as he turns around to face his girlfriend. Her eyebrows are furrowed and there’s a unsure smile on her face but that’s not what makes him stop. It’s the old man standing beside her. The one he hasn’t seen in so long. He looks exactly like Billy remembers him. The same gentle smile. The same wrinkles around his eyes. The same grey hair.

The same eyes. His eyes. His mom’s eyes.

“ Billy “

There’s no resentment in his grandpa’s voice. Nothing but kindness. Billy can’t take this. He doesn’t deserve this. This is not how he wanted this to go either. To be pushed into this situation. He was supposed to live life on his terms.

His hands are shaking as familiar rage curses through his body. (Y/N) knew he wasn’t ready. She had no right. It’s in the way he looks at her when he gets up. The way all the warmth has escaped from his eyes and is replaced by an icy glare. It’s in the way he walks past her not sparing her a single look back over his shoulder. Pure and utter disappointment.

He stalks past the gazebo and across the parking lot before coming to a halt next to his car. Maybe he was too quick to trust. It all was too good to be true anyway. Right ? Because good things don’t happen to Billy Hargrove. They never do. They never did.

Awkwardly he fumbles for another cigarette, pulling on out and dropping the rest of the box in the process.

“ Fuck.” a curse leaves his lips as hot tears are threatening to fall. He’s used to people letting him down but this one hurts more. He honest to god believed her words, believed that she would let him go at his own pace. Even if that means never entering the building.

The lighter won’t fucking work and it all comes together in an emotional meltdown washing over him like tidal wave.

(Y/N)’s feet create a crunching noise as she hurries across the gravel and toward Billy’s car. For a second he thinks about leaving. Just driving off and forgetting this ever happened. She ever happened. But he knows that is bullshit. She means too much to him. He fucking loves her and that is both his redemption and what seems like his ruin.

“ Billy I’m — “

“ You had no right ! ”

(Y/N), for the first time, sees the version of him she’s only ever heard about before. The one that is entirely made of anger and rage. It scares her a little and Billy almost feels bad. Almost.

“ I’m sorry ! I just thought — “

“ Well you thought wrong ! I told you. I told you (Y/N) “ he has to bite his lower lip to keep the tears from falling. “Boys don’t cry, Billy ! “ Neil’s voice ghosts through his head. You can’t show vulnerability. It makes you weak.

(Y/N) however, doesn’t care about any of that. He tears are freely rolling down her cheeks and Billy really wants to reach out and wipe them away. Though he can’t bring himself to do it. There’s a storm of emotions raging inside him and he has no idea where he stands in that moment.

“ I didn’t meant to betray your trust, Billy. I promise you that. I just thought that maybe you needed a little push. He talks so much about you. Billy he loves you so much. I love you so much ”.

There’s a confession there of great gravity. He hears it loud and clear though in that moment it gets overshadowed by everything else that’s going on.

“ I don’t want him to see the person I am right now, (Y/N). Mean and bitter and sad. It’s bad enough I never came around to visit after grandma died and he was sent here. I am a horrible person and I don’t want that to be the image he has of me. I — “ he takes a big breath. “ I can’t go there and look at him and see my mother’s eyes and see how disappointed he’ll be when he realizes what I turned into. He’s the only one who loved her as much as I did and I can’t live knowing I disappointed him. That I disappointed my mom”.

That’s when his self restraint breaks. The floodgates open and big tears pearl down his cheek. Sobs escape him and he’s only glad Neil can’t see him like this. Weak and vulnerable and —

(Y/N) wraps her arms so tightly around his middle that it knocks the wind out of him for a second. She’s warm and soft and (Y/N). She smells like fresh cotton and spearmint chewing gum. Like home.

Weak and vulnerable and in love.

“ Billy. You might think you’re that person. You might feel like it, but trust me when I say that you are so much more. You are not just anger and sadness. You are incredibly sweet to me. You are attentive and gentle and funny. My god you are so funny. You are smart, even if you don’t like to admit it. He’s not gonna be disappointed in you. He understands, Billy. You lost your mom when you were so young. He understands, trust me. And he loves you. So much. I love you. So much. Let yourself be loved. You deserve it !”

When he kisses her then, it feels like no kiss has ever felt before. She loves him. She loves him. No expectations and no conditions. Holy shit, she loves him.

“ I love you (Y/N) “. He really really does.

- OOO -

Billy is so nervous he could throw up on the spot. Though that would indeed make a horrible impression so he tries not to let it get to him too badly.

His grandfather gets up from the bench when he sees Billy approaching again. Before Billy can say anything, he’s wrapped in a warm hug. It’s so familiar. It feels like home.

My god, he missed this so bad.

“ Look at you kid, all grown up. No wonder miss (Y/N) has taken a liking to you. Except for that strange haircut maybe. “

Billy looks over his shoulder and catches (Y/N)’s glance before throwing her a wink,

“ Well she’s pretty spectacular too. “

“ She is yeah. So tell me what I missed, kid. It’s been a while.“

And so he does. Everything. The good, the bad, all of it. It’s hard and it’s emotional but once it’s out there, it feels like the guilt is finally take from him. The weight on his chest feels like it’s only half as heavy as before.

Then his grandpa smiles and pulls him into another hug and whispers the words that Billy wanted to hear for so long “ Your mom would be so proud of you. “

He hopes it’s true. That his grandpa knows what he’s talking about. That maybe his mom is smiling down at him from wherever she is.

But there’s another woman in his life now. One that comes with warm smiles and soft touches and laughter and eyes so bright they could light up an entire town.

And that girl is not his past. She’s no baggage. No sob story. No shadow of perpetual grief hovering above him.

She’s his present. He hopes she’ll be his future.

Because she’s everything. And he’s enough.

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

Lost in Words- Sam Winchester x Reader: One-Shot

Warnings: Fluff (I think that’s all)

Word Count: 2189

A/N: This is a Sam one-shot I wrote a while ago and I don’t know if it’s any good but I’m trying to upload all my work to see what everyone thinks so please let me know if you like it!

“Sam, Sam, look at this!” You yell to the tallest Winchester as you rush in the small library of the bunker.

“Whatcha got (Y/N)?” He asks, looking over to you and putting his book down.

You pull out your phone and show him the picture of one of the oldest libraries in the world.

“Wow, this place is huge!” He comments, looking at the screen.

“I know but it’s all the way in Amsterdam.” You say with a frown.

“So? We can go.” He says, your spirits lifting.

“Really? But how?” You ask.

“Well I’m down but we’d have to run this idea by Dean and if worse comes to worst, we might have to hunt for a day or so but I promise you, we’ll stop by the library.”

“Oh my gosh, thank you, Sammy!” You cheer, hugging him.

“Of course, sweetheart. Now, let’s go find Dean and tell him our plan.”

You two head out to find Dean on the complete opposite side of the bunker, a longer walk then it sounds.

“Hey, Dean, we have an idea we want to run by you.” Sam says, walking to the fridge to grab himself a beer and you a soda.

“Well, what do the book twins have planned today?” Dean asks.

“We have a trip we want to take and we think we can do both our trip and throw a hunt into the middle of it.” Sam explains.

“You two are going to have to pitch that idea a little better.”

“We want to visit this really old library in Amsterdam. They’re supposed to have all these first editions of some of the most classic novels of all time so Sam said in order for us to go, you would want to hunt.” You explain.

“Ah, so a trip for the nerds and a hunt in the process? In another country no less. Sounds like a deal to me. Let’s book it.” Dean says.

With the flight and the hotel booked, you three begin to do some research about local events in Amsterdam that might turn into a case.

“Here’s one, a man is missing after he went to work just like a normal day but he wasn’t supposed to work that day. No one knows why he was at the office but he hasn’t been seen since.” You say, reading off your laptop.

“So, he was a workaholic. Doesn’t sound like our kind of thing, (Y/N).” Dean says.

“Okay, okay, how about this. A couple of kids were seen on the playground at a park all spread out. They just completely dropped like flies right in the middle of the day; in front of everyone.” Sam reads.

“That doesn’t sound right.” Dean says.

“A case for you guys then?” You ask.

“Definitely. I’m gonna call Cas because while you two go to the library, he and I will take this one.” Dean says.

“What? Really Dean?” Sam retaliates.

“Come on Sammy, you want to spend time in that library and you’ll be there for a while.” Dean answers.

“Well damn if no one wants to go with me, I’ll just go to the library myself.” You say becoming pissed that no one seemed to want to go with you.

“Like hell, you will,” Dean says.

“Stop treating me like I’m a fucking baby, Dean!” You yell and storm off, up the stairs and to your room, slamming the door in the process.

The flight out to Amsterdam was miserable; no one said a word. Sam, Dean, Cas and yourself all sat together on the plane for an entire 10 hours.

Arriving at the airport, it was filled with people going in all different directions. You felt uncomfortable, feeling claustrophobic right away. With no words spoken still, you all managed to weave your way through the crowds to go through customs and find your bags without much a fret.

You kept close to the boys, despite how mad at them you were and followed them into a cab and off to the hotel. Checking in and getting your room key was the best part of your trip so far. It meant staying far away from them as possible.

“(Y/N) hang on a minute.” Sam said, grabbing your elbow to keep you from going too far.

You whipped around to look up at him as he towered over you, height-wise.

“What?” You snap at him causing his infamous puppy look to come out.

“Please don’t think for one second that I don’t want to spend time with you. Believe me, I do but I have a hard time saying no to a hunt.”

“Well it’s not that hard, Sam.” You say, moving your arm out of his grip.

You walk to your room, not wanting to run into another Winchester as long as you lived. Throwing your bag on the bed, you take out a book and are instantly transported to somewhere other than where you were now. Yes, you wanted to be in Amsterdam but not like this, not like no one wanted to be around you. You heard what Sam said to you but the way he’s been treating you, says otherwise.

“Hey (Y/N) we’re going to dinner; would you like to come with us?” Cas yelled to you from the otherwise of the door.

“No thanks, no one wants to be around me anyway.” You yell back, just as the door fell off the hinges. Cas stood in the doorway, hands stuffed in his trench coat pockets.

“What the hell, Cas?” You ask, stunned to see what he just did.

“I-I’m sorry. You weren’t coming out so I did what I had to.” He apologized.

“You did not have to do anything Cas.” You say.

“Look, we want to be around you, we do, especially Sam.” He explains.

You scoff at what he said, rolling your eyes in the process.

“Oh, he sure seems to want to be around me.” You said.

“Look (Y/N), I can promise you, Sam wants to be around you. In fact, it bothers him that you won’t stay around him. He likes you, a lot more than he lets on, but you didn’t hear that from me.” Cas states then begins to leave the room.

“Offer still stands for dinner if you want.” He says, fully leaving you alone.

You decided not to go to dinner so you could wrap your head around what Castiel just told you. Sam liked you? Well, he hasn’t been acting like he was into you in any way, let alone a romantic way. You lay in your bed, staring up at the ceiling, pondering about how you were going to handle him when you went to the library tomorrow.

Falling asleep, the night went on, until the sound of the Winchesters coming back from their night out woke you.

“I still can’t believe you like (Y/N). I mean, how? For how long?” Dean asked.

There was no sound so you assumed Sam was blushing, trying to think of the right words to say next. He tended to do that when he became nervous, also rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’ve always liked her to be honest. She’s become my best friend. We can stay up until 2 o’clock in the morning, talking about whatever and she gets me. No one understands what we’ve gone through like she does. I don’t know, I didn’t mean for it to happen and that’s why I’ve been a dick to her lately. Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was fall in love with her but I did. I was trying to keep her away from this life; she doesn’t need to see it. But I can’t keep pushing her away; she just won’t let me.” You heard him explain and the heat in your cheeks rose to an uncomfortable level.

As much as you wanted to go out there and tell him you felt the same, you didn’t want him to know that you were eavesdropping, especially not in front of Dean and Cas. You told yourself that if you told him now, he probably wouldn’t remember since he probably had been out drinking with his brothers; you would tell him tomorrow.

Tomorrow came and you were up early, eager to get to the library so you could finally tell Sam how you feel about him. It was true, you liked him ever since you met him too, but when he started acting like a jerk to you, you thought he didn’t feel the same when in reality, his feelings were the same. He cared so much about you, that he didn’t want you to be apart of his hunter lifestyle. You adored that side of him and now you were finally going to be with him.

“(Y/N) you ready?” Dean called to you, knocking on the door.

You opened the door, big smile on your face as you saw all three Winchesters waiting for you.

“Ready for the library?” Sam asked and you nod your head in reply. He smiled softly at you, seemingly surprised that you weren’t mad at him.

You both got into the back of an Uber to head out to the library, leaving Dean and Cas back at the hotel. The ride over was silent, you pressing on the palm of your hand in nervousness; something you knew Sam did too.

“Are you okay, (Y/N)? You keep pressing on your palm like I do when I’m nervous about something.” His look of concern bores into your eyes and you wanted to kiss him right there, but you thought the library would be more romantic.

The outside of the library already took your breath away. The building was old and rustic looking but the details of the architecture gave it an old-world charm. It was beautiful; you couldn’t imagine the inside.

Walking in with Sam close to your side, your jaw literally fell as you took the huge room with three floors lined with books. Knowing Sam was a bookworm like you, you looked over to him and his expression mirrored yours.

“Well, where should we start?” He finally said.

You both decided to start at the very top and slowly work your way down to the bottom floor. Searching through all the books just to see what they had and you were left in awe of the old books that gathered dust on the shelf but still managed to bring you joy.

Looking up from a book, you saw Sam on the other side of the floor from you, nose buried in a book and the cutest look of concentration on his face. You decided that the moment it would be the perfect time to tell him you heard everything last night.

“Hey, Sam?” You asked as you approached him at the table he was sitting at, two small towers of books on either side of him.

“Hmm?” He asked, looking up at you.

“Can I tell you something?” You ask.

“Of course. Do you wanna sit?” He asked and you followed suit.

“What’s on your mind, kiddo?” He asks.

“I uh, I heard everything you said last night.” You admit and he just stared at you. You took that as your cue to continue.

“I heard you tell Dean and Cas that you had feelings for me ever since we met. I heard all of it.”

“You did?” He finally says.

“Yes.” You say back.

“And?” He asked, wanting to know what else you had to say.

“I like you too. I always have but then when you started being mean to me, I took it as you didn’t like me so I avoided you as much as possible until I saw the picture of the library here and thought it would be a good idea for us to come here, see what would happen if we did.” You admit.

Sam just smiles at you and says, “that’s why I convinced Dean and Cas to let us come here. I wanted to see what would happen if we came here too.”

You reciprocated his smile and stood up from your seat to walk closer to him. He followed your lead, towering over you once more before he brought you closer to him. He looked down into (Y/E/C) and tucked a strain on hair behind your ear. He leaned in closer to you until you felt his lips on yours, falling into perfect sync.

After the long 8 months of being around the Winchesters, you finally had Sam the way you always wanted him. And in this very moment, kissing him in the world’s most romantic place to you both, you were able to let your walls down and let him in completely and fully. Yes, the hunter lifestyle was going to be harder for you now that you loved Sam but you trusted him to always think of you before he did anything now. It was you and he lost in all the words of the books that surrounded you and that was just how you wanted it; forever. 

Forever tag list: @juju-la-tortue @marvelfansworld @grace15ella @simpleboox

[thestaytinies]

Stray Kids: First Meeting (Awkward Edition)

Another Stray kids reaction. Feel free to request anything if you like!

Chan

Today was your first day on your new job. You were afraid but also excited. The company had a good reputation and you worked your butt off to make it to the position you applied for. The people on your job interview were all very kind, the only person you didn't meet that day was your future boss. The company was really satisfied with you so you got the chance to meet him today. You spend a long time in the bathroom trying to look your best to make the best first impression. When you arrived at the company, you were greeted by the secretary who informed you that there were cupcakes in the breakroom, because someone made them for his birthday and you could take one if you wanted, cause it would take a while before your boss had time for you. So you entered the breakroom and already saw a handsome man standing near the cupcakes. He hasn't noticed you so you thought you would introduce yourself. Just as you were about to speak up, he reached for one of the cupcakes and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. That's when his eyes locked with yours. You just looked at him awkwardly while he stared back at you, his mouth full with cupcake. You didn't know how to react so you excused yourself and left the break room. You were thinking about going to the bathroom to calm your nerves, which just increased after this scene but then you saw the secretery rushing to the breakroom. As she opened the door she said: "There you are sir, I was looking everywhere for you. Please hurry up the new employee is waiting for you." Oh no. The handsome cupcake guy came out and looked at you. He smiled but you could tell that he was emberassed. "Hello my name is Bang Chan and I'm your new boss. I look forward to working with you". What a great start, you thought.

Woojin

You were walking around the city, searching for a birthday present for a friend of yours. It had been a long exhausting day und you started to feel dizzy, but you still haven't found anything. That's when you saw your friend in front of a shop, looking at the clothes that were displayed. Perfect timing. You thought about buying him the outfit. You had to distract him, so he wouldn't buy it for himself. You decided to greet him and take him maybe to Mcdonalds so that he would forget about the outfit. You sneaked up behind him and slapped his ass. That was your usual way of greeting him but when he turned around you almost got an heart attack. If someone woud've taken a picture it surely would go viral. Your shocked and his unamused expression, a perfect combination. "Ehm, uhh you know...", you speaked up. In your panic you continued while shouting "I'm so so sorry I thought you were my friend!!" "I see I also thought you were my friend, that's why I didn't really react." You were lucky that he thought that, he could've knocked you out. You tried to make this situation less awkward. "It seems like you attract people who like to grab ass." He had to laugh at your statement and said, "seems so. I'm Woojin and what's your name Miss ass-graber?" It was your turn to laugh and you told him your name. It was an really embarassing accident but through that you gained a new good friend.

Minho

You were enjoying your bath that you have been waiting for all week and used bathbomb that made your whole bath sparkle with gold glitter. It was relaxing but you got bored after a while. You started to play with the glitter and smeared it in your face. You drawed yourself a mustache and covered your eyebrows with it. Thinking that you looked really funny, you took a sillie selfie and send it to your best friend. They recently changed their number so you tried to remember it and typed it in your phone. You sent the picture and wrote "come join me to have some fun". The caption was seductive at purpose because you two always wrote like that. But the picture was just silly, you could tell that you were in the bath but you couldn't see anything that a stranger shouldn't see. After 2 minutes your phone notificated you of a new message. "That was fast", you thought because they normaly needed at least half an hour to reply to you. What you didn't expect though was a picture of a really attractive guy who smiled kind of mischivously. You thought your best friend was just messing with you but you were horrified when you read the text that followed. "Sorry wrong number sweety, but I would still like to join you!". Oh no oh no oh no! You just send a really hot guy, a really embarassing and silly picture. You wanted to drown in the bath but you decided to ignore this situation and not reply to him. It's not like he knew who you were. But it didn't seem like he wanted you to forget because he still messaged you after that. "Hey don't ignore me, no one ignores the great Minho!", Hellooo how are you doing glitter mustache", "Please reply this could be the start of a beautiful friendship!" His last message kind of touched you so you replied to him and indeed it was the start of something beautiful.

Changbin

You were walking around your local park, letting go of your stress. You really needed the fresh air but you got tired after a while, so you sat on a bench that had a nice view across the park. You enjoyed the scenerie when you heard a voice behind the tree that was left from you. "So what do you want to eat today? I think I should go for a fast snack since I have a lot of work to do." You looked in the direction and saw a cute guy sitting underneath the tree. He was probably talking to someone on the phone even though it dudn't really seem like it. You turned back when he said in a really cute voice "ahhh I love you soooo much!" Oh so he was talking to his girlfriend, what a bummer. You didn't want to eavesdrop even more so you got up and started to leave. You had to walk past him and looked one last time when you noticed that he was actually talking to someone on his right side, which you couldn't see on the bench. Well it wasn't really someone, more a something. A cute snorlax plushy. You were so suprised that you didn't notice the "Oh!" coming out of your mouth. The guy noticed you right away and got red in the face really fast. You understood that he was embarassed since he didn't seem like the type who would talk to plushies. You didn't know him but since you both seemed like students, there still was a chance that you meet again and that you maybe knew soneone that knew him. So he quickly asked you, “please don’t tell anyone that I carry a stuffed animal around with me and even talk to it.” He looked like he was about to cry, so you assured him that you wouldn't do that. "Don' t worry I wont tell anyone! How about we grab something to eat and I might even be able to help you with your work?" You didnt know where you got this courage from but the boy seemed happy and agreed. "Sure im Changbin and I'll pay, see it as hush money." You both laughed at his joke and went on your way to grab something to eat.

Hyunjin

You were sitting in a lecture, starting to fall asleep, cause you had put an allnighter the night before. It also didn't really help that your professor had such a hypnotizing voice and the topic he was talking about also didn't interest you. You glanced to the right and saw that the goodlooking guy in your lecture was falling asleep. You chuckled and tried to return you attention to the lecture. You often heard girls talking about him and you agreed with everything they said, but you never talked to him and weren't that much interesered in talking to him or anyone for that matter. That's what university does to you. The professor was talking about something like marriage and began with "for example..let's say Miss y/n and Mr. Hyunjin are getting married.." Oh oh, you didn't expect that. You heard the gurls a row behind you whispering something like "why did the professor choose her?", but you didn't mind that, you were more focused on Hyunjin who gave you a shy smile when your eyes locked. The professor continued to use you two as a example and when the bell rang you knew you had to get out as fast as you could to calm your nerves. But you were stopped when Hyunjin stood right in front of you. "Hey how about we exchange numbers so that we can get to know each other better? I would like to know what my future wife is like." What a flirt, you thought but agreed since it seemed like he was just as nervous as you, telling from his body language. And even though your first interaction was kind of awkward, it was the beginning of something great.

Jisung

Your friends invited you to go to a bar with them. You agreed because it had been a long time since you went out and had some fun. You just had to control your liqiuor because after some drinks you tried to fight every stranger that came across you. Luckily you knew how much you could handle. The night out was fun so far, you catched up with your friends and talked about many random topics. You knew you were near your limit so you decided to get a non-alcoholic cocktail. But the bartender was new and you were so distracted by talking with your friends that you didn't notice that the drink was actually mixed with alcohol. After you finished it, you observed how your behaviour kind of changed and how you were getting annoyed at the simplest things. To your luck, your friends decided that it was getting late and wanted to head home. You all said your goodbyes and you walked home so you could sober up a little bit. Just a street away from your apartment, a guy accidentally brushed your shoulder while passing by you. It wasn't a big deal normaly but you couldn't control yourself and yelled: "Oh so you want to fight now?" The guy was suprised by your outburst but saw that you weren't that sober. "No, I'm sorry it was an accident. But you shouldn't walk around at night in a state like that Miss. There are many dangerous people out there." "I ain't afraid of anyone! I know how to defend myself." You wanted to show him a karate move you saw on tv but you tripped and landed with your face on the floor. You don't remember what happened after that because you blacked out. After a while you woke up again when you felt something cold against your head. The guy you were yelling at looked at you and smiled. "I'm glad your awake, I thought I had to call an ambulance." You were shocked, "you took care of me even though I wanted to fight you?" "I know you couln't really control yourself and to be honest, it was kind of funny. I'm Jisung by the way." That's when you really looked at his face and saw how cute and good-looking he was. He offered to walk you home and you agreed. After you finally went into your apartment, you jumped on your bed and fell asleep, not knowing how happy you would feel in the morning, finding a piece of paper, with a number and the name Jisung written on it in your jacket.

Felix

When you adopted your cat you'd never imagine how much trouble it would cause you. He was normaly good behaved and you could leave him alone in your apartment, without having to worry about going back to some damage. But he had one habit that was the cause of all your stress. He liked to steal the underwear from your neighbours. He didn't care if it was women's or men's underwear and just stole whatever he could find. You didn't know which underwear belonged to which neighbour and you didn't want to go around asking your neighbours about their underwear. So you did the next logical thing and just stored them in your basement. You felt like a creep but at least it didnt seem like anyone was suspecting you or your cat so at least you were save for now. But that would change very quickly. You left the elevator at your floor when you heard someone shout. "Hey, give that back that's mine!" You looked carefully around the corner and saw your cute, new neighbour Felix chasing your cat, that had black underpants in his mouth. The funniest thing was the "Yeet" written on it. Your cat had very good reflections and dodged every move of him, so that he got frustrated. "Come on just give it back! What do you even need it for?" You almost laughed but then you remembered that he would probably ask the other neighbours about the cat and then you would get exposed. You knew you had to step in. "Great, I've never actually talked to him and this will be our first interaction" you thought. "Better get it over quickly". You shouted you cats name and he immediately listened. "Give me that in your mouth." He complied and you turned to Felix. "Im really sorry about that. Please dont tell anyone what happened. It's a bad habit of his and I don't know how to change that. I don't know if the landlord will let me stay here if he hears about that, especially not, if he finds all the underwear in my basement!" You didn't mean to tell him everything but it kind of just came out. For a moment he was shocked but then he had to laugh, "dont worry I wont tell anyone. I'm just glad that my underwear didnt go to your collection. How about that? I help you get rid of all the evidence and you will cook for me today? Since a certain cat kept me from getting grocery shopping." You were more than happy for this deal since you got the opportunity to get to know him better. How lucky you were for adopting your cheeky cat, you thought.

Seungmin

You sat in your favorite lecture with your favorite professor. The reason for it being your favorite lecture was, that almost everyone was attending it. You liked when the room was full of people because you wouldn't stand out to much. The reason for everyone attending was that the professor gave extra credit for being there, since it was a morning class and he didn't like teaching in an almost empty room. He also didn't care what everyone did as long as they wouldn't disturb his lecture, that's why he was your favorite professor. You still paid attention to him but he talked about a topic today that you already knew pretty well, so you decided to treat yourself and do something fun instead. You recently found a good fanfic and were on the last chapters of it. You started to read and didn't pay any attention to your surroundings. The fanfic got so intense and for a minute you thought it would end up in some angst but the couple ended up happy together. Now it was time for the final chapter and the author promised some steamy smut scenes. And oh boy, they didn't lie when they said that they would get intense. You were so focused on the final scene that you barelly heard the voice beside you. "How can you read this with a blank face?" You looked at the boy talking to you and saw how handsome he was. You probably would've gotten embarassed if his look didnt tell you that he was just curious and not judging you. So you just answered him casually. "I dont know, i think I just practiced it enough, so that people wouldn't stare at my phone immediately when they see me making a expression." "Interesting, I think you could play poker or something and make much money with it. But honestly the chapters you have read were pretty good. What's this fic called?" So you told him about it and that was the beginning of Seungmin sitting beside you in this lecture and getting some new fic recommendations from you.

Jeongin

You were sitting in the community kitchen of your college dorms, with your friends. One of them decided to cook for all of you, so you joined them in the kitchen so they wouldn't get too bored while cooking. You all were laughing and having fun. That's when the topic of the new guy came up. He recently moved in and from what you heard about him, he seemed really cute and nice. Some of your friends already talked to him but you mostly spend your time in your room, so you haven't had the opportunity to meet him yet. The topics of your conversation changed every minute until it came to movies and shows. You recently started a new anime and told your friends about it. It had the perfect mix of fight scenes and intense, emotional and funny moments. There was a particular fight scene where you had to laugh for a good 5 minutes, cause it looked so ridiculous. You wanted to make your friends laugh, so you stood up and showed them the move. This was actually your first try so you weren't sure how it went exactly but you still tried it. You took your leg in you hand, behind your back and bend a little forward. But your hands slipped and your leg snapped back. What you didn't expect was the impact, it felt like you just hit someone in the stomach. You turned around and saw a guy with a pained expression lying on the floor. So it wasn't just a feeling. You immediately started to apalogize and asked him if you could somehow help him. You heard the name Jeongin around you and realized that you just kicked the new guy. Talk about good first impressions. But to your surprise, he had one of the brightest smiles you've seen, when he looked at you. "Oh it's okay! Nothing bad happened. It's nice to meet you but please don't greet me like that everytime." You were relieved and your friend invited him to eat with you guys as an apology. That was your first encounter with him, but you were sure that both of you wouldn't forget it so fast.