#everybody's an menace to society

[peachcitt]

you are next to anna. anna is next to her friend. anna is telling her friend how to find her ao3 and tumblr. what do you do. how do you feel.

first of all im obsessed with this. second of all im gonna set the scene. picture this.

@anna-scribbles. me. anna’s friend. we’re sitting the three of us at a lunch table. anna’s friend is new to me and i have begged her. begged her. each time this luncheon has been brought up to not involve me in the miraculous ladybug talk because i have a Process of introducing that side of myself which is: not at all. and the whole time anna has been nodding along, nodding along, and also saying “sure >:). of course i’ll do that >:)” kind of half jokingly. and here anna’s friend comes along to this luncheon where i am white knuckling my utensils staring at anna every time she opens her mouth because, inevitably, we are talking about adrien agreste. and anna’s friend asks me if ive ever seen this ladybug and cat show and anna looks at me from across the table like

and i look anna’s friend in the eye and i say, “well anna talks about it a lot, and i guess ive seen parts of it, but that’s all!🤗” like a liar. and that’s when anna starts pulling up her ao3. and she mentions tumblr user peachcitt who she has collaborated with on various fics and things before. she talks on and on about tumblr user peachcitt until i am forced to say, out loud, that she should stop or else “i’ll get jealous of that tumblr friend of yours because i, the person you make promises to with verbal words out loud, am your real best friend.” because that is funny enough for anna to stop talking since she is so busy laughing that i am able to jump in and ‘save myself.’ to redirect i talk about percy jackson.

and that is how it would go. thank you for your time.

[xxcherrycherixx]

Me writing my heartlockes smut: Hmm how am i going to make blondie a sexual deviant this time maybe i can-

Also me already knowing what im going to end up writing: Shes gonna fuck in public, she always fucks in public. We do this every single fucking time- IT NEVER CHANGES

[homunculus-argument]

Character concepts that would be funny:

Some dude who's known around the city for being a complete public menace, obnoxiously loud, zero regard for traffic rules, laws in general, or basic manners. Nobody knows where he lives or what the hell he does for a living, he seems to always be wandering around the streets but as random as his clothes are, they always seem to be at least somewhat neat and the local homeless population doesn't know him and as far as they know he's not one of them.

Everybody knows he'll steal your shit. That's what he's known for, and what people warn each other about. Shoplifting, snatching your unattended coat off the back of a park bench, taking the fries from a fast food order that wasn't his. But somehow, only ever food or clothes. You forget your phone next to your kebab while going to a diner bathroom, and you come back to find that your phone is still there but your kebab is gone. And so is that guy.

Nobody knows what this guy's deal is. Well, his deal is that he is a shapeshifter. His true form is a seagull. He doesn't give a shit about integrating into human society, he just got sick of being harrassed by dogs while trying to eat from the trash can one day and decided to shapeshift to the biggest animal he could think of - having never been outside of the city, that would be human. Which naturally freaked out the dog, which was the goal in the first place.

And it then turned out that being around the city as a human had some other unexpected perks, which were convenient. Like cars swerving around him when he's standing in the middle of the road. He shrieks at them anyway, just to keep safe. He's learned some curse words but has no interest in learning any more of human language.

[devoureddreaa]

bros the type too.. ryomen sukuna boyfriend headcannons

okay…ik i disappeared for a few days (a month is not a few) but i’m back now, so yay!! and i’ve got sukuna headcannons cause he’s been growing on me lately, so hope you enjoy!! >.<

— bro is a menace to society and would most likely kill someone if they were to look at him for too long. but when it comes to you, sukuna can be a bit a softy. (a softy is an understatement, the curse is totally whipped).

for instance, he won’t let anyone touch him. touch him and you’ll end up with your head off of your shoulders. but when it comes to you..the literal love of his (overly long) life; you could touch him wherever and sukuna wouldn’t mind at all.

“why’d you stop?”

your gaze moved from your phone to the face that sat comfortably in between each of your thighs. you tilted your head to side and furrowed your eyebrows, “stopped what?”

sukuna looked puzzled, possibly looking for a way to explain it without sounded corny.

“the things you do with my hair.”

“oh, play with you hair?” a warm smiled appeared on your face first, then a breathless giggle. “thought you did like people touching you.”

“i don’t care with you do, woman.”

“whatever you want..”

he ended up getting his spiky pink locks played with again, and he ended up falling asleep like a new-born.

— bros the type to deny to everybody that he is head over heels for you. everyone sees it and everyone knows it..but if they were to ever mention it, sukuna would deny deny deny.

especially to his good friend, uraume. he’ll rant and rave about how good you are and how much he loves you any chance he gets with her.

“if you wanna marry her, just do it already!”

sukuna paused, “what?”

“you’ve been telling me about the girl for the past five minutes.” uraume laughed under her breath, “she really has you wrapped around her finger.”

— on top of that, bros the type to give you praise more than anything. he dosent know much about love languages, or affection in general. he’ll try when he feels it’s right, trust, he will cringe the first few times, having a hard time going anything in general. but he’ll get used to it.. (but he hates when you tease him about it)

“you say something?” you looked at the man through the mirror, he was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed as his gaze laid somewhere on the floor.

you were so busy with trying to line your lips, you didn’t hear what sukuna had said..

“i said you look good. really..beautiful.” it was a sight to see someone who could murder someone with the blink of an eye act so..timid.

“awe.” you turned you head and peered over your shoulder, “you shy, ‘kuna?”

“i take it back.” he grumbled, turning to leave the bathroom. you quickly ran after him and tugged onto his arm.

“i was juuust kidding!” you smiled innocently, “thank you, sukuna.”

he didn’t say anything back, but the look on his face was enough.

— bros the type to not use pet names that often. sukuna has never seen the point of them, and sees them as pointless. he uses them rarely, and whenever he does..it catches you off guard.

“bae..!” sukuna called out, he expected a quick response and was confused when he didn’t get one.

“bae!”

no response, “y/n!”

“huh?!” you finally responded and poked your head from around the corner with concern, “why are you yelling?”

“you weren’t responding.”

you took a second then realized, “oooh! you were calling me? thought that was something else..”

— bros the type to love you in his own weird way, even though he’s a sadistic psycho.

i finally uploaded… also! mb for disappearing, school and life got in the way. but im back! promise, im not a coryxkenshin 2.0 ;-;. ive got more things coming so i hope you enjoy..and remember, you can always request something! love you, baaaiii!!! (if you saw any typos, no you didn’t)

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Halloween prompts no. 24.5

Danny needed a place to live.

The Wayne manor had more rooms than anyone could know what to do with.

Had Danny been sneaking in to the Wayne manor uncaught for a three months now? Yep. Had he had a little fifteenth birthday party for himself with a cupcake and a candle in his new room? Yep. Was he proud of his appearent stealth? Yep.

Did he expect the butler to walk in on him in the middle of phasing his backpack back out of the wall?

Nope. Absolutely not.

The butler eased out of his look of shock like a veteran of wild shenanigans and bullcrappery, "May I inquire the reason for your visit?"

Danny, who was a panicking just blurted out, "I live here now!"

They just kinda stared at eachother before the butler laughed a little. "Alright then. Dinner will be served in two hours. Don't be late."

And with that he was gone. Danny groaned about his big mouth and decided to commit. Dinner was awkward and the butler, Alfred, made him introduce himself and he did so with a little wave.

Damian attempted to murder him with throwing knives which Danny caught and proclaimed were his now. The family all watched on as Danny wound Damian up and kept taking more weapons from him. Little bat looked like he was on the verge of either flying over the table at the teen or just having a stroke.

Steph and Tim were switching between asking questions and being menaces to society.

Jason was making quips at other people and being oddly friendly.

Duke was staring at danny with a look of horror for half the diner before awkwardly deciding to be friendly and hope whatever this thing was didn't bite

He and Dick were already workshopping puns together at the table in front of everybody. A fact no one but them enjoyed.

Bruce was asking vague questions to try to figure out what this kids deal was and how exactly he got past all the security.

Cass had successfully taught him a bit of ASL and they seemed to get along well enough. Especially once stealth was brought up. Turns out Danny likes to sneak around and he had almost been caught multiple times in the three months he'd been living here. All the family went silent.

"Did you say three months?!"

The whole family (sans Damian) works together both to get Danny to stay so they can get answers to questions and try to peace together wth is happening.

At first they thing Danny is going to freeload off of him only to discover he only came home right before the curfew Bruce set for him and heads out first thing in the morning. He usually only used the manor to sleep and shower.

It was Steph who found him first. He was handing out flyers as part of one of his many side jobs. Turns out he spent most of his time working.

He somehow managed to get Jason to help him buy a fridge. Danny paid for it entirely by himself, he just needed Jason to sign a piece of paper since he was a legal adult and Danny very much wasn't. Jason asked why the kid wanted such a huge fridge and he wasn't prepared for him to say he "wanted to stay out of the way as much as possible"

[ghostface-knight]

i'd like to present my concept of nightmare time episodes where every (or almost every) person is played by the same person, inspired by jaime lyn beatty in daddy. here are some ideas:

peter spankoffski is done being at the bottom of the hatchetfield high food chain, and so he seeks out help to become cooler. he comes across ethan green, who, having just been left by his girlfriend lex, decides, "what the hell, i'll mentor this kid on being cool". when ted spankoffski learns that his little brother is hanging out with "that no-good ethan green", he confronts pete about it, perhaps a little too harshly. his intentions are good, but when has anything ever gone the way he meant? ted, like everybody in town, knows about ethan's reputation, and he thinks he'll be a bad influence on pete. he knows that, if anyone can, pete can make it out of hatchetfield, and he doesn't want ethan screwing that up. so he confronts him, and one thing leads to another, and eventually pete storms out in anger. ted knows if he goes after pete immediately, he'll only make things worse, so he decides he'll let him have his moment of teenage rebellion and then reconcile with him after. a few hours later, ted spankoffski, now drinking his problems away, is approached by a mysterious man who has somehow gotten into ted's apartment. wilbur cross, as he introduces himself, half-convinces and half-mind controls ted into believing that ethan is responsible for this, and the only way to protect pete is to kill ethan. he storms into ethan's tiny basement apartment, wielding his now shattered bottle of booze, and prepared to rip him limb from limb with his new super-powered companion. ethan can hold his own, though, and the brawl is a tough match. eventually, though, ethan manages to get the remaining shard of the bottle and shove it straight through ted's chest. as this happens, pete comes out of ethan's bathroom, revealing that he'd gone to ethan for comfort after his fight with ted. ted bleeds out on ethan's floor as pete holds him.

ruth fleming has graduated high school, and she's lucky enough to find a super chill job as a farmhand on the farm of emma perkins. one day, as they do their usual work (which isn't much, to be honest), they are approached by linda monroe, who is all but seething. she's goes on about how drugs are evil and she will not raise her children in a town where such depravity is taking place. they threaten her off the property, and they think that'll be over and done with. it's not like they've never had to deal with moralistic creeps like her before, and they've always come out the other side. linda comes back the next day with a petition signed by just about every member of the hatchetfield boating society. yeah whatever, perky's buds is not going to be dismantled by some stupid rich people who think they have more power than they do. in the midst of this, they've recently recieved a new client: 17 year old hannah foster. a quiet kid from hatchetfield high, who seems to have joined the smoke club as a way to make some friends. emma and ruth don't think much of it -- neither of them have any qualms about selling to teenagers, and business is business. however, hannah keeps coming back for more and more, and ruth starts to wonder if there's something else going on. back in the linda plot, linda has taken to bringing people out to the farm to protest. each day she (or, more accurately, the people she's hired) come with more and more people holding cardboard signs and chanting. it's really starting to get on emma's nerves. one day, while hannah is picking up her purchase, linda, surrounded by a mob of angry parents and hatchetfield adults, returns. suddenly, linda no longer seems like a nuisance, but a legitimate threat. her followers carry weapons and the menacing smile on her face tells emma and ruth that she isn't messing around. as the mob breaks through the door of the farm house, emma and ruth urge hannah to look for shelter. hannah refuses though, and emma swears her eyes begin to gleam almost inhumanly. the mob makes it to them, and are suddenly thrown back by a wave of psychic energy so powerful it shatters the walls of the house. hannah's new powers (on account of the weed) leave emma, ruth, and herself standing unharmed in the middle of a surrounding pile of groaning, injured people.

i have a few other concepts, but this is getting super long so i better leave it here for now lmao

[malarign]

situationship

(when you’re not dating yet)

contains: bf!hyungline x fem!reader | genre: fluff | tw! none i think? lmk | wc: 0,7k

reblogs are highly appreciated!!!

author’s note: i’m so delulu bc of this, it’s not funny anymore

you’ll find maknae line version here!

Lee Heeseung | 이희승

very confident

Heeseung is the type of guy who knows what he wants. And what he currently wants is to make sure you and everybody around you know how much he is interested in you. Honestly, to say he’s interested in you is an understatement since all he can think of is you. Every single thought that comes to his mind goes back to you.

Everything just comes so naturally like playing with your hair whenever you’re telling him about your day or preferably when you’re telling him about your day and playing with HIS hair, all while he lays on your lap comfortably.

Obscene flirting with you around his friends is also part of the pack. Heeseung just can’t help eyeing you up and down and complimenting your look. But not just any compliment will do. His praises are always very descriptive, letting you know his exact thoughts, just like he has no filter (he doesn’t).

Park Jongseong | 박종성

confident but a little oblivious

Jay didn’t even realize something started to happen between you two. It took him two conversations with his friends and three compliments from you to finally see not only it’s him who’s interested but that the feeling is mutual. His confidence went up, but still, he did not let anybody know how it made him feel, and let me tell you he got butterflies just from thinking about it.

What is so attractive to him about you is how ambitious you are, and how much knowledge you possess. Your versatility in interests makes you unique, that’s why he started researching them, just to impress you in a deep conversation or even just playful chitchat.

But what truly makes your situationship obvious to everybody around you is how truly clingy you get whenever you are close. Hand-holding and even hugging from behind is not enough, so he started inviting you to sit on his lap (which you gladly accepted), making it your new default seat each time you’re spending together.

Sim Jaeyun | 심재윤

pretty confident

Jake is usually a menace just to society but now that he has you in his eye he doesn’t even let you forget and miss him for a second. At first, you could think it’s an exaggeration, but let’s be for real, when Jake falls for somebody he devotes himself to that person, leaving no room for doubt of his feelings.

Some could think it’s pretty annoying the way he called you and send you voice memos almost every second, updating you on each hour of his day. What could possibly cross the line was how he almost every day called you in the middle of the night. He wasn’t trying to cover the fact he missed you and wanted to listen to your voice, making it your new favorite part of the day, which you waited for every day.

What actually made a blush creep to your cheeks was how many nicknames he used. Of course, his favorite ones were either basic “baby” or a little bit more jokingly said “wifey”(was it though?). None of them made you uncomfortable, especially after you started to use just as cliche and cheesy nicknames on him.

Park Sunghoon | 박성훈

very shy

Now, when it comes to Sunghoon he wishes he could be more confident but as soon as he sees you he can’t help a blush that paints his cheeks and tip of ears. He’s the definition of admiring from afar, watching you with a fond smile talking to your friends, and enjoying games you play.

That doesn’t mean he does it all the time. Just as much as he’s a shy person he’s also a jealous one. When he likes somebody he wants them just for him, and him only. That’s why when he feels a little bit neglected he gently taps your shoulder earning not only your whole attention but also your beautiful and charming smile, that only he is worthy of seeing.

But when you are completely alone or just without any of your friends he absentmindedly starts to play with your fingers while either watching a movie or just chitchatting in a cafe. He does it ever so gently and delicately as if your fingers were just as fragile as glass. The way his fingers brush against yours makes your stomach do flips and fill with butterflies.

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

taglist: (open) @nicholasluvbot, @en-chantedtomeetyou, @skzenhalove, @nfrgirl, @kpoprhia, @redm4ri, @jaelaxies

[youremy-celebrity]

fbi open up // my hero academia (social media au) [completed]

amongst search histories and private youtube videos

bakugo katsuki x fem!reader

genre: university/college au, fluff, crack, angst

warnings: swearing, sexual themes, adult stuff in general, jokes about dying, bakugo, slow burn, violence

disc: all pictures i used were found on pinterest and belong to their respective artists! i’ve only watermarked edits i’ve made!

taglist closed! thank you for your interest, reblogs are appreciated! <3

part one: todoroki shoto step on me

part two: squash me with your biceps

part three: this isn't about you anymore

part four: you can't threaten me with a good time

part five: we don't ice our drinks like pussies

part six: say sike rn

part seven: they're not so nice anymore

part eight: i'll do anything for a spicy man

part nine: payback for puking on my shoes

part ten: teasing AND threatening

part eleven: i'll cut you

part twelve: how is he hotter when i'm sober

part thirteen: like some eboy

part fourteen: i don't really care if you're into turtle porn

part fifteen: "what i want shinsou hitoshi for"

part sixteen: bakugo this is not a drill

part seventeen: everybody press the red button

part eighteen: please put the baby aside

part nineteen: you're a menace to society, cupcake

part twenty: i haven't invited you yet babe

part twenty-one: oh

part twenty-two: you don't mean anything to me

part twenty-three: can't a girl crave some ramen

part twenty-four: being a bitch for bitch's sake

part twenty-five: hiding in your room like pussies

part twenty-six: what, no cupcake?

part twenty-seven: i'll break all your teeth

part twenty-eight: i’m not whipped

part twenty-nine: it’s not very baby of you

part thirty: be my girlfriend

part thirty-one: who do you want?

part thirty-two: he says he doesn’t care

part thirty-three: a knife in my bedside drawer

part thirty-four: bubbly fun wheat juice

part thirty-five: can't cut carrots for shit though

part thirty-six: i'm going on a bird hunt

part thirty-seven: get in line bakuhoe (written)

part thirty-eight: don't be the dumbass now, love

part thirty-nine: i think my boyfriend's been kidnapped

bonus part forty: love you too babe

afterword

thanks for reading!

main masterlist

[munson-blurbs]

Bug. 29. Bookworm, flower child, menace to society.

I write about fictional characters.

On a semi-hiatus until my dissertation is done!

Header + icon credit to @lofaewrites 💚

This blog is 18+ only. Minors do not interact.

My love language is coffee and contemplation.

Masterlist:

Clueless (fluff/angst) // Part II Flattery Works with Me (smut) Fight My Battles (fluff/angst) Ice Cream (smut) I Know What I Want (smut)  Get Out of My Head (angst/smut) Bossy (smut) Wayne's Pride (fluff) Helping (fluff) Insecure (angst/fluff) Just the Way You Are (fluff) Take Me Higher (smut; collab with @hxllfired) Rockstar!Eddie drabble (smut) Everybody Talks (angst/fluff) Love Me Right (angst/fluff/smut) My Name is Erica (fluff, Eddie & platonic!Erica Sinclair) Just Your Touch (fluff/smut, collab with @corroded-hellfire) Freaked (fluff) Beneath (fluff/smut) Merry & Meddling (fluff) Tonight’s Special (smut) The Sting of Truth (angst) Weird Science (angst/smut; collab with @corroded-hellfire)

Living After Midnight (Failed Rockstar!Eddie x Motel Worker!Reader) 086 (Post-Upside Down!Captured!Eddie x Captured!Fem!Reader) Trapped Under Ice (Single Dad!Eddie x Teacher!Reader) Dad!Eddie x Mom!Reader When Man Plans, God Laughs (Eddie x Single Mom!Reader) Ghostin' (Steve Harrington x Female!Reader) A Little Bit Longer (Eddie x Female!Reader; collab with @corroded-hellfire--on hiatus)

Requests

TUI-Mas 2023 Trope or Treat 2023 2k Celebration Kinkmas 2022

[fun-k-board]

Hello how are you? I would like to know if you still receive orders. If yes, fantastic. First I apologize for my horrible English, I'm still learning.

Could it be about Hort from School of Good and Evil? Where the reader or y/n has a similar relationship with Gomez and Morticia Addams. Thank you for your attention, kisses from Brazil.(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

-

Yes of course! And don't worry, your English is really good! <3 apologies for taking so long! Also, this is Hort from the movie, which I haven't watched in awhile so it may be very inaccurate, I know he's a lot different in the book but I haven't read it yet.

Hort X Gn!Reader with a relationship like Morticia and Gomez Addams

If you're an ever, I imagine your darker taste in clothing got him interested in your straight away, especially if you're the beauty standard, if not, the fact you're an ever not as 'beautiful' as the rest with a dislike of what being an ever essentially is got him curious about you.

I imagine him approaching you, if you don't notice him / he doesn't notice you, then I imagine you and Agatha being friends, and so meeting Sophie which ends in meeting Hort.

Your first impression was shaking his hand, which he begrudgingly done given you're an ever, but he jumped when your hand fell off, no, it was thing! He jumped back onto your shoulder while you hid your mouth with your hand and laughed. Hort felt a grin spread across his face while Sophie gagged, he done that with her when they first met.

You complimented him, genuinely, with a menacing smile and flirting of how he's disgusting and filthy, but you like that. It made him blush and fall harder. All thoughts of Sophie are completely gone whenever your wide and unblinking eyes stare into him.

Hort and you 'insult' each other in public, yet still gently kiss eachother and even with your mouth not wide and bright, a gentle smile held a thousand emotions as you nuzzled into one another's chest in happiness.

You, obviously, only say things because you know he likes them, especially when you're dating and vice versa. Although, it would take him a LONG time to say something about your appearance that wasn't a conventional compliment. To him, you're hot no matter if you have warts, deformaties, etc, etc. Anything 'ugly' to regular society is not only useful but essentially the standard for what he's grown up on, you're familiar, and he loves you for it.

If you're a never, you met when everybody was being thrown into the ocean upon first arriving, he somehow saw you perfectly dry by the guards. It caught his eye, so did your appearance. Elegenatly dressed with a teasing smile thrown his way. You noticed him and he immediately swam out, complimenting you and probably coming off a bit too strong.

It's sweet though, he gets pretty dirty a lot and although you may be strange, it's clear you do appreciate a form of hygiene and will wipe his face if it gets too gross.

You gave him a sword on your first week of dating, which he greatly appreciated, especially how you took the time to carve his name and yours. Hort asked how you managed to get it, to which you cut the petals off the roses in your dorm and told him you wouldn't reveal your secrets.

It took him a while to fully realise, simply believing it to be a trick of the light, but your eyes were always illuminated. No matter what a strip of light accompanied you with everything else shrouded in darkness. He even put a hand over your eyes and it was still somehow light.

You were somehow extremely rich, gifting him mass amounts of things and assisting him in class with your devious charm and schemes to get him good grades. Refusing to allow a fail for him.

He's a very insecure guy, and so your constant array of compliments and physical affection had him remembering it late at night blushing and hiding his face in a pillow.

[beanghostprincess]

Why do you think in shuggy break up Luffy would be on buggy side?

I think it's obvious, isn't it? The core purpose and inspiration of Luffy are dreams and freedom. Luffy's character quite literally is just about that (and more, but those are his main character traits). As the story progresses, we see him helping others, not because he wants to or because he's nice like that (he isn't. He is a fucking menace to society) but because those are the specific buttons you have to press for him to be empathetic or resentful. Luffy is pretty much a selfish person. He's not helping others just because he can, but because of the unfairness of the world or how they treat others. If he doesn't get along with you, he gives zero fucks about what happens to you UNLESS a dream or freedom is involved. Because it's not really about you, then, but about this precious concept he has of life and freedom and how everyone should be able to choose and live however they want. He isn't selfless but he does fight for what he thinks is right. And what Luffy perceives as something everybody should be able to have is both dreams and the freedom to achieve them. So, basically, Luffy is empathetic and helps if he likes you (basically if you're cool or show signs of being a nice person) or if there's something keeping you from being free.

Anyway, why am I telling you all of this? Because I think that, if Luffy knew about what really happened between Shanks and Buggy from Buggy's perspective, he'd side with Buggy without any hesitation. Well. Maybe a little hesitation. Maybe a ton of hesitation because of Shanks. Let me explain-

Let's just make a hypothetical situation in which the three of them are together and Shanks and Buggy start arguing about what happened that day. Yadda yadda yadda, it doesn't really have to make sense for me to explain this. The thing is, Buggy tells his side of the story, and Luffy hears it. I think his first reaction would be about Shanks. He would have SO many questions about his decision. "Why didn't you go for the One Piece right away, Shanks?! Why did you hesitate?! Why did you let Buggy run away and not run after him?!" Because, due to his impatient and overly protective nature (and abandonment issues, cof cof) of the ones he loves, Luffy would instantly ask himself these things. Because Luffy wouldn't have done it this way. Luffy wouldn't have hesitated. He makes impulsive decisions on the spot. If he wants something, he's gonna go take it. And if his best friend leaves without explaining anything (WATER FUCKING SEVEN) he's gonna run after them (STRONG WORLD!!!!!!!) and make them come back to him because he knows something's wrong (WHOLE CAKE ISLAND MY BELOVED). So I personally think he'd be defensive at first with Shanks and Shanks would look away with the most painful of stares and avoid Luffy's hurt eyes. You know when he gets angry at him for what happened to Uta because he can't understand anything and Shanks can't tell him what happened and Luffy has to learn to be mature and accept that sometimes he just won't understand/agree with some of Shanks' decisions? Well, that's him right now. Shanks tells him there was something deeper going on (because of fucking course Oda is gonna go full drama and turn Shanks' hesitation at the time into something extremely painful). Or maybe he just says they weren't ready yet and Luffy just has to understand that patience is a virtue (something that Shanks has actually been teaching him for a long time). Yadda yadda yadda, I think Luffy wouldn't be mad at Shanks for a long time but he wouldn't really truly get it. And besides, the Buggy thing has no excuse. He should've followed him. That's it. End of the discussion. Because that's Luffy's mentality and he'd rather starve to death than let his family go.

Then, I think Luffy would have mixed feelings about Buggy's POV. Because he doesn't understand it, but he gets the important stuff. He doesn't understand why Buggy wouldn't follow his dream even if he feels inferior. He could've just told Shanks. Or maybe just?? Idk. Not feel inferior in the first place (such good fucking advice from somebody like Luffy who gives zero fucks about that sort of thing). But I think he would remember Water 7, too? And Usopp in general? And also all the times he has felt weak and powerless? And I think he doesn't quite understand Buggy's reasons for staying in Shanks' shadow, and that makes him furious and angry at Buggy for giving up so easily, but he would also be kind of sad. I think he'd get the important stuff. Like. The simpler way to put it is that Luffy sees Buggy with this new POV and just sees somebody who lost his hope for X thing and gave up on his dream. The inferiority complex took away his freedom. In fact, the devil fruit and losing the map? That actually was what took away his freedom. Metaphorically and literally. And Luffy sees this and says "Well, it's never too late! You might be a coward and a whiny loser but nothing can take your dream away from you and I'm sure you'll make it! Cheering for you but not much because I'm the one who's gonna be King of the Pirates, but yeah! Good luck! You can do it!". And Buggy takes it as an insult, but I'm pretty sure Luffy would get serious about this at some point and say "Shanks should've run after you... But you were the one who gave up first. There's nothing stopping you now, though!". And... Turns out the damn kid is right?? And Buggy is never going to say that out loud but damn.

I think he'd get along with Buggy, then. Luffy would want to help him achieve his dream all he can. Or at least encourage him and see him as a fair opponent and enemy, which is the most respectful thing he can do as a pirate. He'd be on Buggy's side in the sense that "both parties were acting silly and stupid and should've done things differently but the world has treated Buggy poorly and that is unfair and Shanks should've been the one going after him instead of doing nothing" because he sees himself in Shanks' shoes and it just seems odd to him not to go after the ones you love when this happens.

And also, to put ALL OF THIS in an easier, simpler way: If we're talking about romance exclusively here. About an actual breakup and not just these two parting ways. I think Luffy would be on Buggy's side without hesitation because you don't let go of somebody you love that easily (he's having WCI flashback. Lusan moment. Or Water 7 Lusopp moment. Just choose whatever). Imagine explaining this to Luffy like "Shanks and Buggy had a huge fight about going after the One Piece and Shanks hesitated and Buggy ran away and they broke up" what do you expect him to say?????? Of course he would get angry at Shanks. Even if Shanks had his reasons, Luffy is just fundamentally different in some stuff, even if there are parallelisms between these two. They're different, and Luffy often doesn't agree with Shanks' decisions. Like letting Buggy break up with him. Luffy didn't go through Water 7 and WCI for him to not side with Buggy, honestly.

[cellarspider]

17/?? Inappropriate relations between hugger and face

(Previous) | (Index) | (Next)

⛬

We return to the movie that is a menace to itself and society at large, Prometheus. 

Content warning for gore, death, orifice invasion, and, unsurprisingly,

Time to kill the sacrificial side characters! Well, at least, kill the ones that have names and distinct personalities, so that you are expected to feel somewhat bad for them. And I do. They didn’t do anything bad enough to deserve this movie.

I mean, they’re going to die because the movie turns them into morons to make this scene work, but hey. They’re still doing better than the guy who managed to insult his life partner’s father, faith, and infertility in the course of two minutes.

This part of the movie, in fact, leans fully into 80s-90s slasher tropes. The people who’re having sex are all going to have various bad things happen to them throughout the movie, with their severity and dignity depending on whether they display traits considered virtuous. But Fifield the geologist has committed the cardinal sin of hotboxing his suit’s air supply while they wait out the night in the creepy alien structure, so he shall be among the first to die. 

To make this work, they have decided to spend the night in the room right next to the decapitated alien body they refused to get near before. They do not seem to mind it now, nor do they find it worrying that the room on the other side of it is full of the black oil from the X-Files.

This is one of the other infamous scenes that everybody remembers about this movie. Millburn is not doing anything that a morally punitive slasher movie would declare worthy of death, but he is going to behave like a moron.

Remember I said ages ago that there was a cut scene where he apparently showed real reverence for the existence of non-humanoid, unintelligent alien life? That was meant to provide context for why he’d be so excited to see the world’s most genital-faced snake.

We, the audience, know that this is probably what’s become of some alien worms last seen being exposed to the Ominous Black Goo. Why didn’t it fully melt them like the Engineer at the start? Not explained! We, the audience weird enough to remember Prometheus twelve years after it came out, should also know that when a snake-like creature rears up, flares open a hood, and makes hissing noises, you should not try to get close to that critter. That is an angry critter, and it is going to do angry things to you.

Millburn is presented as the kind of herp-lover who finds a snakey critter cute, so he should know this too. He does not. That is impressively bad. The one impressively good thing about this scene is that the creature is largely a practical effect, save for in moments where it needs to move in ways a puppet can’t. At the same time, it’s unfortunately hard to tell that it’s real, due to its texture. This helps hide the transitions to CG, but it also leaves you less convinced that it’s there. Sometimes a more obvious puppet can still feel more threatening, because they are indisputably there.

Still, this scene is, despite the stupid context, effective at most of what it wants to do: creating a sudden, brutal spike of violence, with one small creature managing to act as an unstoppable force. Millburn’s arm is broken, Fifield is sprayed with acid blood as he tries to help and falls face-first into the black ooze, leaving Milburn to be killed by the creature as it breaks into his suit and crawls down his throat. It hits two of the usual beats of an Alien movie: acid blood, and overtones of sexual violation.

It made me feel squeamish, although that might have something to do with the fact that it has a weird parallel to a sci-fi comedy movie that had some unpleasant marketing back when I was a wee Spider: Evolution. Apparently, back in 2001, it was considered comedic to watch a giant mosquito crawl under the skin of a man’s thigh and imply that it bit him in the balls. Wee Spider did not agree with this assessment, and so now that’s burnt into my psyche.

The crew of the Prometheus is none the wiser, because nobody kept a watch on the two of them. The last interaction they had was Janek saying ‘hey, we detected movement in there with you, probably just a glitch tho, nbd’ before wandering off to have sex with Vickers.

I want to remind everyone that this is the movie that wants to deal with themes including but not limited to:

The creation and purpose of humanity

The ethical implications of creating human-level artificial intelligence

How religion intersects with science and crises of faith

Are we truly capable of grappling with any of the above

Genocide

This movie is an absolute mess. It is beautifully shot, and a competent shock-horror film when it feels like it, but that accounts for a fraction of its runtime, and basically none of the dialog.

It also fails at building tension for scenes like these, because it undercuts Alfred Hitchcock's principle of cinematic tension:

[Video description: An excerpt from a lecture by Alfred Hitchcock:

"Four people are sitting around a table, talking about baseball, whatever you like. Five minutes of it, very dull. Suddenly, a bomb goes off. Blows the people to smithereens. What do the audience have? Ten seconds of shock. Now take the same scene, and tell the audience there's a bomb under that table, and will go off in five minutes. Well the whole emotion of the audience is totally different, because you've given them that information. That in five minutes time, that bomb will go off. Now the conversation about baseball becomes very vital. Because they're saying to you, "Don't be ridiculous, stop talking about baseball, there's a bomb under the table!" You've got the audience working. Now the only difference is--and I've been guilty of, in the picture Sabotage, of making this error, but I've never made it since--The bomb must never go off. Because if you do, you've worked that audience into a state, and then they'll get angry because you haven't provided them with any relief. That's almost a must. So a foot touches the bomb, somebody looks down, says "My god, there's a bomb." Out of the window, then it goes off, just in time."

]

Prometheus tells you, over and over again, that the characters are in danger. Why are they in danger? Because they deliberately put themselves there. It's like they're a bunch of ordinance disposal experts sitting around Hitchcock's table, one of them nudges the bomb with their foot, and they look down and say "Huh! That's neat. Hey, take a poke at this, guys!"

The last bit of Hitchcock's principle is moot in this type of horror film, because there are only some characters that are positioned as being worthy of real worry on the part of the audience, which Prometheus also undermines--but not entirely. We still have a ways to go before they take his advice on that, though.

Next time: 

Many posts ago, I responded to Holloway’s behavior with an invocation of Clue:

The tables shall soon turn!

⛬

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⛬

Citations for alt-text rambles

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/thats-a-penis 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooms 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/adambvary/something-terrible-has-happened-here-the-crazy-story-of-how

[tcwmatchmakingau]

Everybody Hates Neyo Round 2: Matchmaking Boogaloo

A/N: This is a standalone sequel to “Everybody Hates Neyo,” (NSFW) by @dystopicjumpsuit​ (that’s me), and “The Blacklist,” by the brilliant @blueink-bluesoul​, who also generously let me borrow the character of Daria Trace (THANK YOU!). You don’t need to read those fics to understand this one, but you should because they’re great and they provide more background. I converted the Reader-insert into an OC because to be frank, she’s a piece of work, and I didn’t want to project that onto my readers. That said, as always, feel free to insert yourself into the story if you prefer; I haven’t described the OC beyond being a woman with hair long enough to pull.

Pairing: Commander Neyo x the Admiral (formerly Fem!Reader)

Rating: M | 18+ | Minors DNI

Wordcount: 6.5K (I know)

Warnings and tags: toxic, obsessive behavior; SO MUCH SMUT; hatefucking; rough sex; oral sex; PIV; hair pulling; biting; sex under the influence of alcohol; Neyo and the Admiral being absolute menaces to society

Disclaimer: Let me just put on my Auntie DJ hat for a second. *ahem* This is a work of fiction intended for entertainment only. Please do not take this as a guide to romance or a healthy relationship. Neyo and the Bad-miral are flawed characters in a wildly problematic relationship with more red flags than the Fire Nation. Enjoy!

Matchmaker extraordinaire Daria Trace was not accustomed to failure. When she applied her considerable intellect to a problem, she did not stop until she formulated a solution. Which was why her now-99% matchmaking success rate galled her so intensely. In all her years of matchmaking, she had never encountered a client so stubbornly determined to thwart her efforts as Marshal Commander Neyo. After twelve failed matches—one of which involved a call from an infuriated woman demanding to know “why the kriff you thought I was a good match for that sociopath”—she had reluctantly conceded defeat.

The blacklisting of Commander Neyo from the Right to Love Matchmaking Service spread like wildfire through the GAR gossip channels. Most of the troopers thought it was hilarious; others insisted that he’d finally gotten what he deserved. In fact, the only people who seemed to have any sympathy for Neyo were Commanders Bacara (to be expected) and Fox (somewhat less expected). And when Fox reached out directly to Daria and asked her, as a personal favor, to give Neyo one more chance, she agreed. One more chance, and ONLY to give her an opportunity to get that track record back up to a perfect 100%.

She glared irritably at Neyo’s file and clicked her stylus three times, twirling it between her fingers. The man was impossible. It was no wonder he’d turned to RTL for help finding a partner; any woman in her right mind would run in the opposite direction the minute she looked into those blank, frigid eyes. She shuddered involuntarily. Shark’s eyes. Daria had made a few discreet inquiries after he’d first signed up for the service, just to make sure she wasn’t about to set up some unsuspecting match with a serial murderer. Without fail, every single answer said the same thing: he was an ice-cold sonofabitch, but he had a strict code of honor, and no, he wasn’t a serial murderer. Probably.

She sighed and tossed his file to the side, to be revisited some other day. He was her most difficult client, but by no means was he the only problematic match candidate, and she had a small stack of what Blizzard liked to call The Hopeless Casefiles waiting for her to review. Just thinking about Neyo’s case had given her the beginnings of a spectacular tension headache, and she flipped through the folders quickly, looking for one that was a little less challenging. As she skimmed the stacks of flimsi, her eyes came to rest on one name: Reeda Wai’yen.

Now there’s a thought.

Daria was sure that Reeda was a lovely woman, despite all evidence to the contrary. She was just very… intense. Like Neyo, she had chewed through several potential matches, and the most frequent word that appeared in her failed matches’ post-date surveys was “intimidating,” followed closely by “terrifying.” Daria had sniffed disdainfully that those particular matches simply couldn’t handle a strong woman; however, she had to admit that after several months of trying, she had not been able to find a perfect match for Reeda. She pulled Neyo’s file and laid it out next to Reeda’s. As she compared their backgrounds and preferences, she became more and more convinced. This could work. Given their personalities, it might well be the best possible outcome for society at large if they were both removed from the dating pool. And if it happened to close out her two most annoying files, well. That would just be the cherry on top of her perfect-track-record sundae.

A timid knock sounded on Reeda’s office door.

“Come,” she called shortly.

Her assistant, Lissi, poked her head into the room. “Sorry to bother you, sir, but you’ve received a comm from RTL Matchmaking.”

Reeda cursed. She was up to her ass in flimsiwork, and she was meeting with the Senate Task Force on Galactic Security in ten minutes. She did not have time for this now. 

“Take care of it,” she ordered.

“Sir?” Lissi asked, her wide, startled eyes giving her a distinct resemblance to a terrified ash-rabbit. 

“Just take care of it,” Reeda repeated, tamping down her irritation at being questioned. “You know my schedule better than I do. Set it up. Somewhere nice—somewhere in the Federal district. I don’t have time to deal with traffic.”

Lissi blinked, nonplussed. “Don’t you want to see who you matched with?”

“No time,” Reeda said, rising to gather her materials for the meeting. “Just put it on my calendar, and I’ll be there.”

Three nights later, Reeda sat in the restaurant at the top of the tower where her penthouse was located, waiting for her mystery date to arrive. She had to commend Lissi’s efficiency in choosing the venue; the only traffic she’d had to endure was at the lift. And it was a lovely restaurant, she had to admit, with stunning views of the Coruscant cityscape. She had only eaten here once since she’d bought the flat, usually opting to have food delivered to her office at the Republic Center for Military Operations as she worked late into the night.

She had resisted the urge to bring her datapad with her to the restaurant, knowing that if she did, she would inevitably get sucked into work, but now she wished she’d taken a moment to review the file from RTL. It wasn’t that she thought all clone troopers were interchangeable; far from it. She had worked closely with them during the war, had fought by their sides, and she had found them to be brave, competent, and loyal. They were also notoriously attractive, but she was a professional, and she was their superior officer, and she had never allowed that line to become blurred—except on one memorable and highly regrettable occasion.

She had had no time for a personal life during the war, but now that it was over—well, to be honest, she still had no time for a personal life. Which was exactly why she had reached out to RTL; it was the perfect solution. She didn’t enjoy solitude. She wanted companionship, and maybe even something more. But she needed a partner who would understand the demands of her career, and nobody understood the burden of duty better than the clones. Now that she had separated from the GAR and returned to her post in her home planet’s military defense force, the rules regarding fraternization no longer applied to her.

She hadn’t bothered to review the file because she’d learned from the previous several failed dates that a promising file was no indicator of compatibility. Still, as she waited for her date, who was now seven minutes late, she wished she’d at least checked to see if he had any identifying marks or tattoos that would make him easier to spot. To be fair, though, the few clones present in the restaurant were already paired up with other diners.

Her stomach rumbled. She hadn’t intended to skip lunch, but she’d had back-to-back meetings with the joint chiefs of the Core Worlds Defense Alliance and the senate appropriations committee, and one thing led to another. The service droid had delivered a basket of fresh, hot bread rolls, which she had heroically resisted for the first six minutes past the scheduled start of the date, but now her resolve began to crumble. If her mystery date didn’t have the basic courtesy to be on time, by the Force, he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on if she ate all the bread before he arrived.

She buttered a roll and took a small bite. She couldn’t suppress the groan of relief at the buttery, yeasty goodness, and she quickly polished it off, then picked up another. She had just begun to butter her third role when the unmistakable voice of a clone spoke next to her.

“Admiral.”

She turned automatically, a smile just beginning to form on her lips, when she caught sight of a familiar set of numbers tattooed on a handsome, arrogant face.

“Oh, no,” she said with disgust. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Marshal Commander Neyo replied contemptuously. “I have as much right to be here as you do.”

“I’m on a date,” she snapped.

He looked pointedly at the empty chair across from her. “Looks like your date has a strong sense of self-preservation. Probably took one look at you and ran for their life.”

“He’s just a little late,” she said, tilting her jaw at a haughty angle to hide the flash of hurt at his words.

“That must kill you,” he said with a mirthless chuckle. “I remember the time you made a Jedi padawan cry for being three minutes behind schedule.”

“There were barely tears. Do. Not. Sit,” she gritted out as he made himself comfortable in the chair across from her. He picked up one of the remaining bread rolls and took a large bite, and she sighed. “Why are you here, anyway?”

“It just so happens, I am also on a date,” he said, mumbling around the bite of bread.

“Oh?” she wrinkled her nose at his table manners. “And who’s the unlucky lady?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Some civvie named Reeda.”

Her hand tightened dangerously around her butter knife. Neyo’s eyes dropped to the blade, and he smirked.

“Disappointed?” he asked.

“You could say that,” she said, grinding her jaw. “I’m Reeda.”

He choked on his bite of bread and wheezed a bit, pounding his chest to clear his airway. Alas, he survived.

“What?” he sputtered.

“You didn’t even bother to find out my first name after you were inside me?” she demanded. Her sharp tone attracted attention from the surrounding diners, and she heard a few quiet titters from the tables around her, but she was too irate to care.

“You didn’t even bother to find out who’d be eating dinner with you?” he retorted.

“Don’t pretend you aren’t just as surprised as I am,” she snapped. “Didn’t you read the file?”

“I didn’t get a file, just a call.” He grunted. “Apparently, ‘beggars can’t be choosers,’ and I was lucky to get a match at all.”

“Why am I not surprised?” she mocked.

“Careful, Admiral. Don’t forget they matched you with me.”

“I would be insulted if it weren’t so obviously a mistake. I can’t say I’m impressed with their performance thus far.”

“For once, I agree with you,” he said. “You’d have to be a special kind of incompetent to think we were a good match.”

The service droid approached the table and asked, “May I take your order?”

“He’s not staying,” Reeda cut in.

“I’ll have the bantha filet,” Neyo replied, ignoring her. “Bloody.”

He turned to her and arched his brows. The droid waited expectantly.

“I’ve suddenly lost my appetite,” she lied.

Neyo’s mouth twisted, and he huffed a breath through his nose. “The admiral will have the roast porg. And a bottle of Alderaanian red.”

The droid nodded and ambled away. Reeda glared at Neyo.

“I don’t eat meat, you presumptuous ass,” she said.

“Liar,” he said. “Unfortunately, the souls of the innocent weren’t on the menu, so I had to settle for your second-favorite meal.”

“At least you’re safe, since you obviously have no soul and you’re definitely not innocent,” she said in a pleasant tone.

Damn him for being right about the porg, though. How did he know?

The wine arrived, and he poured a generous glass for each of them. She didn’t toast; just downed half of it in a single swallow. Neyo sipped his and leaned back in his chair to observe her. His sleek, severe hair and the large tattoo on his cheek made him look menacing as hell, but it was his eyes that made brave men take a step back. She didn’t know how it was possible for his eyes to be that unnerving. Gods, why did he have to be so handsome? What a waste of perfectly good Fett genes to have a personality like that.

“Did you stay just to torment me?” she asked when the silence stretched beyond the limits of her endurance.

“And because I heard the filet was good,” he said affably. “What are you even doing on Coruscant? I thought you’d scuttled back to whatever hellhole spawned you.”

“Kuat,” she bit out from between clenched teeth. “I was assigned to work as our military liaison on Coruscant.”

“Couldn’t stand having you back on the planet?” he derided. “I don’t blame them.”

“I need to use the fresher,” she said, flinging her napkin down on the table with excessive force. “Feel free to die while I’m gone.”

She strode purposefully through the restaurant, her face set in a steely mask. She knew she was drawing attention from other patrons, but if she sat at that table and listened to Neyo needle her for one more second, she was either going to stab him or burst into tears. She pushed through the refresher doors and went to the sink, washing her hands just to give herself something to do. The face that stared back at her from the mirror was Admiral Wai’yen, not Reeda. Stern. Unyielding. Unaffected.

She swallowed, and her face crumpled. Tears of rage stung her eyes, and she ruthlessly wiped them away with her clenched fist. A soft noise at the door startled her, and she whirled to face the intruder. Horror flooded her. It was Neyo, and he’d caught her crying in the ladies’ room.

“What the kriff do you think you’re doing in here?” she demanded icily. “Get out.”

He stared at her for a moment, and then he locked the door. Stalking across the room, he cupped her jaw in his hands and tilted her face to get a closer look. She tried to pull away, to put her Admiral Wai’yen mask back in place, but then his thumb stroked softly next to her eye, wiping away the tear that had breached containment. She gasped involuntarily, and his lips collided with hers.

Reeda was so shocked that for a moment she went perfectly still, but then Neyo flicked his tongue across her lower lip, and her body remembered how to move. She thrust him away and stood back, glaring at him. His chest rose and fell quickly, and those cold eyes blazed with a dark and covetous fire. She raised a hand to her lips and felt the slickness left by his tongue. Something snapped inside her. She took two hasty steps forward, and she was in his arms again, his hands rough and dominating on her body as they consumed each other with a kiss that teetered on the edge of violence. 

Lips, tongues, teeth crashed together. He clasped her tightly against his hard, unyielding body, and unbidden, the memory of him deep inside her came flooding back. He gripped her ass and ground his rapidly stiffening cock against her. Her reaction was electric. She rolled her hips, nearly climbing him in desperation. He dropped his mouth to her neck and kissed her once, roughly, and then to her breast, yanking aside her dress as he closed his teeth on her soft skin. He picked her up by the waist and set her on the edge of the sink, dropping to his knees between her thighs, rucking up her dress around her hips, and then his mouth was on her.

He didn’t even bother removing her underwear, as though he couldn’t wait another millisecond to taste her. He licked and sucked on her through the fabric, his mouth working frantically. Her body jolted and trembled at the effort of staying upright, and then his tongue snaked past the lace and dipped into her, smooth and hot and wet. He let out a vicious growl and grabbed her hips, settling her thighs over his shoulders, and then he pulled her off the sink and thrust her against his face as his tongue speared over and over into her cunt. She yelped and scrambled to brace herself with her hands, her arms shaking with exertion.

She couldn’t come like this, but kriff, it was hot to feel Neyo throw her around with such ease, like she was his own personal toy. How many nights had she fucked herself to sleep to the memory of their first encounter? The way he’d lifted her bodily off the ground and thrust into her, supporting them both with those powerful thighs—it played on a loop in her head for months, long after the bite marks and bruises had faded.

His tongue slid out of her cunt and swirled around her clit, and her legs spasmed around his head. She couldn’t come like this. Could she? All the muscles in her body began to tense, and her pelvis began to rock rhythmically against his face. Shit, I’m going to come. No sooner had the thought formed than Neyo dropped her back onto the sink and pulled away from her.

“No!” she wailed. “You bastard, I was right there!”

He shot to his feet. “Shut. Up,” he bit out, and kissed her punishingly hard. “Do you want the whole Federal District to know what we’re doing?”

He pulled her head back to expose her throat, and he scraped his teeth across her delicate skin. She felt his other hand fumbling in between them. Within seconds, his cock was free and thrusting against the scrap of lace that still covered her. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him against her, determined to find the stimulation that she needed to reach completion.

“Get inside me,” she hissed.

“You aren’t calling the shots any more, Admiral,” he growled. “You don’t get to give commands.”

“I hate you,” she breathed. 

“And yet here you are, begging for my cock,” he said coldly. 

“I do not beg,” she said. “Ever.”

He released her hair and pried her legs away from himself, then took a step back. “You get nothing until you admit that you want me. I’ve waited a long time for this. I can keep waiting.”

“What the kark is that supposed to mean?” she demanded, sliding off the sink to stand in front of him.

“It means you give me what I want, or I walk out that door right now and you can figure your own shit out.”

Was this his twisted kriffing way of asking for consent? Because she was pretty sure she’d covered that when she all but ordered him to fuck her.

“Fine,” she said in a low voice. “I…” She nearly choked on the words, and Neyo’s intent gaze pinned her in place. “I want you.”

He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a bruising kiss, then spun her around and bent her over the sink. He pulled up her dress, yanked down her panties, and thrust into her. She muffled a whimper at the intrusion and squeezed her eyes shut as she adjusted to the stretch. He wrapped his hands around her hair and jerked her head up.

“Open your eyes. I want you to watch,” he ordered.

She complied, shocked when she saw her own ravaged face in the mirror as Neyo pounded into her from behind. Her makeup was smeared, her hair was a wreck, her eyes were dilated with lust, and a sheen of sweat glistened across her skin. She flicked her gaze to stare at Neyo. His face was twisted into a scowl, and if she had any sense at all, she would have been frightened, but she was in too deep to care. His hard eyes met hers in the mirror, and his jaw tightened.

He released her hair and slid his arm around her body, between her breasts, to wrap around her throat, and he lifted her upright so he could whisper in her ear.

“Do you know what you did to me?” His voice was hoarse and anguished. “Every time I kissed someone, all I could taste was you. Every time I hooked up, all I could remember was this perfect fucking pussy.”

He pounded into her with bruising intensity, furiously working her clit with his free hand. Her head began to throb. This was so wrong. He couldn’t be saying what she thought she was hearing. She was confused from the lack of blood flowing to her brain.

“I got matched twelve different times, and not one of them was right, because not one of them was you,” he snarled. “You cursed me. You haunt me.”

The world began to darken around the edges as her eyes drifted closed, and he released her throat and forced her head to the side so she faced him.

“Look at me when you fucking come,” he ordered.

She gasped, and he clamped his hand down over her mouth to muffle her scream as he wrenched an orgasm from her body. He didn’t let up, chasing after her at a frenzied pace that rocked her entire body as she sobbed into his hand.

“Inside?” he asked roughly.

She nodded and whimpered as tears blurred her vision and spilled down her cheeks. He came with two brutal thrusts, and she felt the hot rush of his release deep inside. He shuddered against her hair as his cock softened and slipped out of her. At last, he loosened his grip and turned her to face him as he leaned against the wall for support. He wrapped her in his arms and stroked her hair as she rested her head against him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she sighed as she licked his neck, unable to resist the temptation of tasting his skin.

“I’m sure there’s an official list in my GAR file,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

Reeda cleaned up quickly while Neyo went back to their table so they wouldn’t be spotted leaving the refresher together. Her hairstyle was destroyed, so she hastily repinned it as well as she could, and then wiped off the mascara that smudged heavily beneath her eyes. A quick reapplication of lipstick, and she almost looked presentable—with the minor exception of her missing panties, which Neyo had silently retrieved from the refresher floor and tucked into his pocket while maintaining strong eye contact.

When she returned to the dining room, Neyo waylaid her with a ferocious expression. Force, what is he scugged about now?

“We’re leaving,” he said, taking her by the wrist and pulling her toward the exit. A few quiet murmurs whispered around the room as he dragged her behind him.

“What?” she asked, tugging her wrist to no avail. “Why?”

“The karking droid gave away our table,” he said.

“My deepest apologies, Admiral,” the droid said. “We can locate another table if you would care to wait.”

Reeda assessed the room quickly. Every table was occupied, and none of the diners were anywhere close to being ready to leave. Moreover, at least half of the customers were eyeing her and Neyo with expressions ranging from amusement to overt curiosity.

“No,” she said. “Have the food delivered to my flat.”

“Right away, sir,” the droid replied, waddling off to relay the order to the kitchen.

Neyo looked at her inquisitively. “Your flat?”

“I live in this building,” she said. “Come with me.”

She was keenly aware of the many sets of eyes that tracked their hasty exit, but before long, she led Neyo into the private, secure lift that opened directly into her penthouse. He stood silently next to her on the trip up, watching her with an inscrutable gaze. She tried not to give herself an opportunity to second-guess her decision to let him into her home. Strange, she thought, how this seemed more intimate than allowing him inside her body. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d allowed another person into her home. 

The lift doors opened, and he followed her into the flat, pausing long enough to remove their shoes, then looking around curiously.

“Lived here long?”

“A few months,” she said. “I bought it when I found out I’d be stationed on Coruscant long-term.”

“It’s nice,” he said. “Very… clean.”

She laughed. “You mean sterile. I haven’t had time to do much decorating. I’m hardly here except to sleep, anyway.”

He nodded. “I thought I’d have more time for hobbies after the war ended, but now it’s just nonstop—”

“Red tape and committees,” she finished with a sympathetic grimace. He shot her a wry grin. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him smile before, and it did uncomfortable things to her brain. She tried not to think about it, instead asking, “What kind of hobbies? Aside from plotting my slow death, obviously.”

“Oh, you know,” he said vaguely. “Torturing small, adorable creatures; sharpening my vibroblade collection; collecting stamps; that sort of thing.”

She blinked. “I can’t tell if you’re joking.”

He regarded her steadily for a moment, eyes unreadable as ever. “You really think the worst of me, don’t you?”

She was taken aback. “I—”

Her reply was cut off by the chime of the door. The food had arrived, thank the Force, which gave her a moment to stop herself from blurting out her immediate thought: You’ve never given me any reason to think anything else.

Neyo was a competent soldier—brilliant, in fact. There was no question that he had one of the finest tactical and strategic minds in the GAR. But as a person? From the moment they’d met, he’d been antagonistic, sardonic, cold. He’d challenged her authority and provoked her in meetings. He’d only treated her with the barest semblance of civility in public, and in private—Well. They both knew how things went when they were alone.

The service droid rolled a cart into the dining room and began setting up the meal.

“Can I get you a drink?” she offered Neyo. “I don’t have any Alderaanian red, but I do have Cheedoan whiskey.”

“The good stuff,” he replied. “I’ll have a glass. Thanks.”

The droid finished setting up and shuffled out the front door as Reeda poured two generous glasses of whiskey at the wet bar.

“Ice?” she asked.

He didn’t answer, and when she turned around, she nearly dropped the glasses in surprise to find him standing close behind her. He locked his eyes on hers and never looked away as he took one of the glasses and drained it in a single swallow, then set it down with a decisive click on the counter. Her heart began to pound as he loomed over her. He traced his fingers from her elbow up to her wrist, and then he wrapped his hand around hers and raised her glass to her lips. 

The whiskey burned a fiery path across her tongue and down her throat. A few droplets escaped and splashed coldly on her chest. Neyo didn’t let up until she emptied the glass, and when she was done, he leaned down and sucked the liquor off her skin. His hands dropped to her hips and slid up her back as he located the zipper of her dress and dragged it down excruciatingly slowly, and all the while, his mouth moved across her skin. He slipped the straps down over her shoulders and let the dress fall to the floor, and then he kissed a path along the lacy edge of her bra.

“Thanks for the matched set,” he said, unhooking it and pulling it off.

“Those were expensive, asshole,” she said unsteadily.

He didn’t reply, but she knew she was never going to see that bra again. He kissed his way down her breast and captured her nipple in his mouth, abrading it lightly with his teeth. She jolted, and the empty glass slipped from her hand and smashed against the hard tiles of the floor. 

Neyo barely responded to the sound of shattering crystal. Reeda froze, keenly aware that the smallest movement could result in a bloody footful of glass. She stood utterly, helplessly still as he continued to explore her body with his teeth and lips and hands and tongue. He was thorough in his attentions, and something about being entirely at his mercy was wildly arousing. Her head spun as the whiskey began to work its insidious way through her bloodstream.

“I missed this perfume. What is it?” he murmured against the soft skin of her abdomen.

“I don’t wear any,” she said.

He nuzzled against her as though he could transfer her scent to his own skin. Without warning, he scooped her up and carried her out of the room, completely disregarding the risk to himself. But instead of dropping her as soon as they were clear of the broken glass as she expected, he asked, “Bedroom?”

“Left,” she said, and he strode across the flat and kicked open the door, to her intense irritation. “You gonna pay for the broken doorknob?”

He didn’t reply, just tossed her onto the bed and pounced on her as soon as she landed. He slid in between her thighs and gripped her hard as his mouth descended on hers, kissing her as though he were trying to devour her soul. He was still fully clothed, and she scrambled to pull off his shirt. He was completely unhelpful, too engrossed in her taste. She raked her nails across his skin as she yanked his shirt over his head, and he seized her lip in his teeth in revenge.

At last, the barrier of his shirt was gone, and she writhed against him, desperate to feel as much of his warm, smooth skin against her as possible. They clashed together, sinking nails and teeth into each other. At some point, Neyo got his trousers down enough to free his cock, and he shoved into her. His belt chafed harshly on her delicate skin as she wrapped her legs around him, urging him to go deeper, harder, faster. The sounds they made were unholy, primal: growls and grunts and screams of pain and ecstasy as they tore into each other with all the aggression that they had built over the years. 

She pulled his hair; he clawed her back. She slapped his face; he bit her shoulder. She snarled that she loathed him; he interlaced his fingers with hers and whispered how beautiful she was when she came apart beneath him. She thrust him away and kicked him across the bed; he pinned her down and fucked her until she sobbed and begged for more. At some point, she tasted blood, and she didn’t know or care whose it was. And when at last she lost count of how many times he’d brought her to orgasm, he curled his body around hers and traced his thumb softly over her features as she drifted to sleep.

“If I die while I’m inside you, it’s the closest I’ll ever get to heaven,” he whispered.

“Force, you say some kriffed up shit,” she grumbled.

Reeda awakened slowly, aware of something blissfully warm and soothing moving across her skin. She cracked her eyes open. Neyo was lying on top of her, dragging his tongue lazily over her body. He roamed along her curves, and it wasn’t until he paused at her bruised wrist that she realized what he was doing.

“Are you licking my wounds?” she breathed.

He didn’t answer, but his eyes met hers with an intensity that bordered on madness. Gods, everything about this was so fucked up, and she didn’t dare examine too closely why she found it so incredibly arousing. He moved slowly, meticulously, his tongue gliding softly over every centimeter of her body, until she felt like a bomb, ready to detonate at the slightest spark. She came before he ever reached her cunt, and again as he rocked gently inside her, his lips soft against her mouth, silent tears spilling from the corners of her eyes to course down her temples.

After, he guided her into the shower, and when her legs gave out, he held her upright as the hot water washed over them. Once he’d massaged her entire body with his strong, soapy hands, he dried her off and laid her back on the bed while he spread bacta across the damage he’d inflicted. It was disorienting to be cared for so thoroughly by the man who’d spent the better part of four years making her life hell. He didn’t speak, and she didn’t know what to say, so in the end, she simply watched him in silence.

When he finished with the bacta, he retrieved their dinner from the dining room. The food had long since gone cold, but after hours of intense physical activity, they were famished, and they ate it anyway, sharing bites and sipping whiskey straight from the decanter. Neyo sat with his back against the headboard, his long, strong legs bracketing Reeda as she leaned back against his broad chest.

“How did you know porg was my favorite?” she asked.

He shrugged. “They’re tiny, cute, and innocent. I just assumed you would enjoy extinguishing the life from them and consuming their remains.”

She laughed and snuggled closer to him. “Is that why you order your meat rare? Because it’s the next best thing to drinking straight from the source?”

“Finally, someone who understands,” he smirked. “Truthfully, I overheard you tell Admiral Coburn that porg was your favorite during a banquet at the strategy conference at Valor.”

She turned to stare up at him. “Neyo, that was two years ago. That was before we ever…”

“I know,” he said, burying his face in her hair and breathing deeply.

“Stalker,” she murmured.

He dropped his mouth to her neck, and she tilted her head back against his shoulder as his lips glided across her skin. 

“What does it say about you that you like it?” he whispered when he reached her ear.

He pulled her close, positioning himself between her and the bedroom door. From the proprietary way he held her, she knew it was a deliberate choice; any threat that came through that door would have to go through him before it got to her, and she had a feeling that there weren’t many beings in the galaxy that were brave or foolish enough to try.

Reeda jerked awake to a furious pounding at the front door. Neyo was already halfway out of the bedroom, stark naked and armed with a steak knife from their midnight dinner.

“Wait here,” he ordered, his voice hard and flat.

She rolled her eyes as she pulled on a bathrobe and grabbed a blaster from her nightstand. Neyo glared at her when she joined him, but didn’t bother yelling at her.

“Coruscant guard! Open up,” a modulated voice shouted harshly from outside the door.

Neyo glanced questioningly at her, and she shrugged, hiding the blaster behind her robe. He stepped out of view of the door, and she opened it to find none other than Marshal Commander Fox, flanked by two Corrie ARC troopers.

“Commander,” she greeted him, not bothering to conceal the surprise in her voice.

“Good to see you’re in one piece, Admiral,” he said. “Are you all right?”

“I beg your pardon?” she asked, baffled.

“We received multiple calls about a disturbance at your address. Are you alone?”

Reeda felt a hot rush of blood wash over her face and neck. “I fail to see how that is any business of yours, Commander.”

“Sorry, sir, but it’s my duty to—” He stopped abruptly, and his visor shifted to a point behind her. 

“Isn’t this a little below your pay grade, Fox?” Neyo drawled close behind Reeda.

Fox’s visor turned back to Reeda, then to Neyo, and then back to Reeda again. The two ARC troopers appeared to be fascinated by the walls on either side of the front door. 

At last, Fox spoke. “I don’t send shinies to wake up admirals.”

Neyo’s hand slid possessively around the front of Reeda’s abdomen, and he pulled her against his nude body. Something large and solid prodded against her backside. Dank farrik, is he turned on right now? Sick bastard.

“Thank you for your concern,” she told Fox, “but everything is under control.”

“So I see,” Fox replied. “Still, you’ll need to keep the noise level down, or I’ll have no choice but to arrest you for disturbing the peace.”

Neyo reached forward silently and shut the door in Fox’s face, then he spun Reeda around, picked her up over his shoulder, and carried her back to the bedroom. The last thing Fox heard was the unmistakable sound of Neyo’s hand slapping her ass as Reeda shrieked with indignant laughter.

Republic Military HQ buzzed quietly with speculation the next morning when not one, but two of the most senior command staff called in sick for the first time in either of their careers. Rumors swirled: some were convinced a secret bioweapon had been released by Separatist holdouts; others maintained that the stress of dealing with politicians was beginning to take a toll; still others claimed that it was a coverup and that the marshal commander and the admiral had been taken hostage by pirates. It was whispered that Commander Fox had a particularly haunted expression that morning, and two of the Coruscant Guard ARC Troopers had contacted the legal department to update their wills. In the midst of all this, the beleaguered Lissi received a brusque order to inform RTL Matchmaking that the admiral no longer required their services.

Daria drained her third iced caf of the morning as she flicked through her holomessages. Buried amidst the intake forms and meeting invitations was an abrupt-bordering-on-rude note from Marshal Commander Neyo ordering her to close his file.

“Why do you look like the tooka that got the blue milk?” her fellow matchmaker Tarsi Renda asked as she passed Daria in the corridor.

“Oh, no reason,” Daria smiled. “The galaxy is back to normal, that’s all—and my track record is once again perfect.”

---

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[soukokvn]

Theres one thing that I love about one relationship in one piece but I think it’s too unclear and like between the lines for everybody to understand it so imma explain it to y’all 🫵

This is all about the Law/Cora/Dofy situation and I swear you won’t regret knowing that.

We know Dofy is a literal demon spawn he was born to be a menace to society and don’t give two fucks about how what he does affects others.

During the Dressrosa arc you get to meet with the Donquixote family with its three main units named after the four symbols in card games so « heart, clubs, diamonds and spades ».

It’s easy to make the link between Corazon and the heart unit obv since it’s a code name to represent that he is the head of this unit, and before him it was Vergo.

Now back to the Dressrosa arc 13 years after Cora’s death, the heart unit doesn’t exist anymore. Or I should say doesn’t have anybody officially in it. Since Cora’s death Dofy didn’t give this name to anybody again.

I have three reasons that could explain why :

For when Vergo comes back eventually

Because he didn’t want anybody to take the place of his brother (either out of love, even if it sounds quite unreal, either because he didn’t want anybody to remind him of him)

Because he kept this place for Law if he ever came back

BUT Law still wears the heart. His tattoos, his jacket in this arc and even his crew (called Heart Pirates), and THIS is something that Dofy doesn’t like at all.

Dofy never looses his cool, he has a lot of temper and is very cold headed but we saw him giving in to his emotions two major times. The first time being Cora’s death.

If you watch true crime or things like criminal minds you know that when someone is killed by being shot or stabbed repeatedly it, pretty much every time, mean the victim and killer had a strong bound and the crime was due to something happening in their relationship that created hatred or frustration for exemple. Now look at Cora’s death.

It’s clearer in the anime but Dofy shots Cora repeatedly. And the same thing happened a second time 13 years later with who ? Law obv 👍

It’s the scene where Dofy sees the name Corazon on Law’s back, he absolutely loses his shit.

He hates seeing Law wear the heart because it must remind him of his failure with him and Cora, how he wasn’t able to get the two of them to stay with him.

We know that Dofy still associates Law with the Heart tho no matter how much it seems to affect him, when Law was captured he was attached to the Heart throne, out of the four empty ones.

So when Dofy wanted to kill Law after losing his shit over how Law will forever be associated with the Heart no matter what he has to say about it he ONCE AGAIN shoot repeatedly.

Im not pointing this so say that Dofy is attached to him in any way but in a way that Law, more than anyone else, affects him so deeply he makes him lose his cool even for a second. Even when he lost to Luffy Dofy was not much affected by the situation, but as soon as Law shows him how linked he still is to the Heart and Cora it’s the end of the world for him.

You can even see how he will forever associate the name Corazon to Law, because of their relationship of course, but also because Dofy probably wanted Law to become the new Corazon, as he said 16 years ago that in ten years Law would be his right hand.

I think I’m pretty much done, their trio is one of my favorite in the whole series, it’s so interesting to try to understand how Dody feels about them and the other way around, their relationship is so complex and well written I just love them all three sm 🙏

Hope this didn’t bore you and you liked it 😁

[olderthannetfic]

To the NLOG anon:

I had written a long piece but lost it, so the gist of it is that bullies are social chameleons. They will always try to find a way to get away with bullying while claiming to be the victims. And many of the "bad" NLOGs were girls looking for ways to recreate the status quo with them at the top instead.

I think that NLOGs were a natural result of the post 9/11 conservative paranoia of "anyone who is not a good American™ is a Satanic Menace to Society" (where good American meant white, christian, affluent, thin, conventionally attractive, straight...and everybody else, from foreigners, fat people, anyone gender non conforming or even alternative people were "planning the downfall of civilization"). In that climate, harassment towards "the weird" was not only tolerated but encouraged as the moral thing to do.

And the thing is, if you are ostracized from society but discouraged to learn about feminism and such, then it's no wonder that your only way of defending yourself is by using the same attacks used against you!

The big change here I think came with the recession where suddenly society became fascinated with the weird, and being a hipster or a nerdy girl was "acceptable" (hence the "golden years" of Tumblr). Many of the bullies who had gained notoriety thanks to their privilege suddenly realised they couldn't get away with it as talk about discrimination and feminism was becoming more commonplace, and so many people adopted NLOG looks and attitudes to keep doing society approved bullying.

Nowadays tho you don't see many NLOGs because, like you said, we either know better now and have deconstructed ourselves or simply because in this era of "bring back bullying" most people don't need to hide behind underprivileged people to harass someone. If they want to hate on other women they can just become a tradwife/high value woman and go back to the conservative politics of the 2000s or they can pick a bit of #girlbossfeminism while going back to their hyper feminine roots to claim *throws dice* that you have to like pink or you have internalised misogyny and that you should just try to fit into the mold, for your own good, you know.

So yeah, those who want to oppress will find a way to do so under any costume, while being the loudest and sidelining the rest of us. There's nothing to do about it, unfortunately :(

--

I mean... sure...

But the actual phrase "not like the other girls" rose to prominence to point out how fucking obnoxious a class of book is for its heroine who is always like "I don't want to stay home and do needlework!" and then the book is set in some era when rich ladies are supposed to be running an entire manor house or something, not just embroider, and the author has blatantly missed all of that. Or it's some Anita Blake bullshit where the heroine hates literally every other woman, and especially all of them with blond hair because the author is insecure and bugfuck nuts.

It's a specific dumb trope in fiction and term in criticism of that dumb trope.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Does Katie post something about Gremlin too?

(P.S., I love how you answer all these questions even though I am sure they can get annoying)

I actually love answering these questions! I get a lot of joy out of seeing what everybody is thinking about for the kids

Katie does post something. Caitlin's is all soft and sappy and Katie's shows Gremlin for who she really is.

A menace to society