#everyone reading this is going to think i’m unhinged and they’re right!

[maidstew]

everyone always talks about how annoying and horrible Coriolanus Snow is but when will we focus on the real enemy? Urban Canville.

[dreamisols]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ COFFEE TALK

INTRODUCTION FIC TO 'THE ART OF REMEMBRANCE'

—the rare moments of free time allow you and your boyfriend to talk about anything and everything that comes to mind... at this point, you two might as well be the third division's free podcast! —wc: 1050; fluff but mostly crack —original canon, x fem!reader, you and hoshina are just silly, hibino leno and kikoru mentions, one cuss, general pov more or less, i advocate for silly unhinged dynamics —rimi's ramble: told myself not to rush the series but i wrote this in one sitting... my summer's gonna be spent writing about this man, buckle up folks! >:]

The Third Division considers you and Hoshina as their power couple. 

Charming looks paired with commanding auras, levels of strength that no one would dare go against, all topped off with endearing one-of-a-kind personalities. Two puzzle pieces that fit as if they’re made for each other.

Everyone within the division quickly accepted and supported your relationship with the Vice Captain. And with that support comes your status as the “local love team"—an inside joke and a makeshift badge of honor (if one could even call it that).

In their defense, there isn't even any sort of competition to begin with. You two are the only couple within the division.

Every member, no matter how long they’ve been in the Defense Force, holds high respect towards both of you. They trust you with a lot of things—the wisdom you both give to your members is actually useful, and your attack combos on the field are nothing to scoff at. 

Yes, they would trust you two with their lives, and yes, the way they’d say it might blur the lines of comedy and seriousness. There’s simply one thing that’s holding everyone off…

No one trusts the both of you with coffee. 

Ironic, considering it’s one of Vice Captain Hoshina’s favorite things. 

Another inside joke is that whenever a member enters the lounge room and they’re greeted by the rich inviting scent of brewed coffee, they will be tuning in to some sort of a podcast episode hosted by their one and only dynamic duo. 

No one session is the same. Sometimes you two end up talking about some story you read or some personal experiences. Other days, it’s just opening as many controversial topics as you both can while expressing your opinions in a lighthearted debate. One time, to the division’s surprise, you two started doing a deep dive into a conspiracy theory, complete with a whole digital presentation and proven statistics. 

It’s even more surprising how convincingly well put the entire thing was to the point even Captain Ashiro listened in with interest. 

The members found it pleasant, enjoyable even. A chance to hold more conversations about different non-kaiju-related topics thanks to you and Hoshina’s exceptionally random conversation starters.

All they ask is that you guys don’t open up a topic that might get you random looks at best, or—hypothetically—get the both of you canceled on the internet at worst.   

Today was one of those days, the team figured, when you and your boyfriend step into the (initially busy) lounge with matching porcelain cups. Hibino, Leno, and Kikoru were the ones present in the room… this marks their first time listening in on the two of you rambling.

“I don’t know, Soshiro-san, don’t you think that may be a little too intense?” you made a beeline and assumed your spot on the couch right in front of Kikoru, drinking from your cup the moment you sat on the soft cushion.

Hoshina follows after you and settles right by your side, “No way!” If he weren’t holding anything, you can envision the way he’d cross his arms and huff. He mimics your movements from a while ago, taking a sip from his drink before placing the cup down with a small ‘clink!’. 

A childish pout graces his lips as he stares right at you. “If you think hard enough, I’m telling ya, dicing those kaiju is just like makin’ intricate fruit carvings!”

May the gods give the juniors strength because what the actual fuck were you two talking about?

The room is radio silent. You and Hoshina continue to glare at each other as if you’re both in a mental debate. Which seems likely enough.  

Kikoru nudges Leno’s arm to get him to break the ice and the poor guy sputters. Hibino breaks into a cold sweat when he catches the way you and Hoshina sharply look at the three of them. 

“V-Vice Captain..! (Name)-san… go–good afternoon!” Leno prays his salute doesn’t give away the fact he’s shaking.

By record, this may have to be the oddest conversation they’ve heard in passing.

You flash the three of them a small smile and Hoshina does a small wave of his hands. Not even a second later, the man beside you jumps at the opportunity to find allies for his claim.

“You guys think that slicin' kaiju is like slicing fruits, right?”

Bless your soul that you’re stubborn enough to match his energy. “If anything, it’s more like carving wood! You have to be intricate about it!” 

Hoshina looks back at you like you’ve transformed into the kaiju you were talking about, “Wood carving?! Darlin’ I love you more than the coffee I’m drinking right now, but you’ve reached a new level of insanity!”

“Comparing anything to kaiju neutralization is already some form of insanity…” Leno whispers under his breath. “Let alone wood carving and fruit dicing…” Kikoru murmurs back in agreement. 

“Aww, you love me more than coffee?”

The immediate shift from a lighthearted argument to some sappy lovey dovey confession while talking about carving patterns on kaiju may be just as impressive as your combat prowess, the trio decides. 

Hibino breathes a sigh of relief and mumbles, “Those two fit each other so well… wonder if it’s a match made in heaven or hell…”

“We’re soulmates!” Hoshina corrects him, instinctively reaching out to hold your hands as if it’ll prove his point further. He gently laces his fingers with yours before glowering at Hibino, “You also called us demons with the whole 'hell' comment. Thirty push-ups for the three of you, ya hear?”

Leno nudges his senior’s ribs like he wants to end him right then and there. Kikoru was probably devising ways to successfully kill him on the spot. Hibino’s fighting for his life, but he still manages to catch the way you and Hoshina look at each other with mirroring lovesick smiles. 

If he manages to scrape out alive, maybe this coffee talk wasn’t that bad.

likes and reblogs are appreciated, but please don’t copy or repost my work! [edited: 062424]

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 408: Orphaned Cryptid to Billionaire Supervillain

Previously on BnHA: HE WAS BORN AN ARROGANT BABY.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi decides he’s going to cover the rest of the AFO/OFA saga in the span of just seven pages, the majority of which are mostly just filled with lovingly detailed closeups of AFO and Kudou’s eyes. Back in the present day, Kid For One takes a couple of seconds to trample the last of the “Kacchan is OFA II or is related to OFA II” theories into the dust, and is then all “fuck it, I’ll just take him out with one last spectacularly grotesque supermove.” Kacchan is all “lol you fucking dipshit”, and he says it with such confidence that it truly makes me believe he can defeat AFO’s “ALL THE QUIRKS EVER!!” attack with his piddly little exploding bloodsweat quirk. AND IT WILL BE A SIGHT TO SEE.

interesting!

Yoichi’s name btw is written with the kanji 与 which means “bestow” or “give”, and 一 which means “one.” so basically “one who gives”, which is fitting as the creator of OFA, but also fits in with this new context of being the first “possession” bestowed upon AFO

oh yes and also AFO I guess has just torn his brother to shreds or something too. idk. I’m going to be honest with you guys, this panel has such a surreal vibe that I just sat here blinking stupidly at it and wasn’t even shocked or anything. like what. is he dreaming this?? or did he really just make a “STOP! IN THE NAAAAME OF LOVE” gesture and in doing so remove half of his brother’s jaw

ewww

idk what’s wrong with me today guys. AFO just disintegrated Yoichi, and Kudou and and OFA Tres (who apparently still doesn’t have a name???? freaking Kudou got named before you??) are literally RIGHT THERE and presumably horrified, and all I can think about is how fucking gross it is that they’re all hanging out in a fucking sewer

oh shit y’all it’s about to go down

he can’t kill Kudou right off the bat can he? does Kudou even know he has OFA yet? are we going to see him transfer it to OFA III? I’m so fucking excited omg

LOL WHAT

“weirdly matte” omg. so apparently he’s like All Might, where the “he’s just drawn differently” thing is something people actually acknowledge in-story. “yeah he actually has no pupils. that’s a real thing. technically that should mean he can’t see since pupils are what let light into your eyes, but don’t worry about that part. just know that his eyes canonically look weird to the story people as well, and everyone is creeped out by it, not just you”

yeah he’s actually blind

so he literally can’t see outside himself. way to lay those metaphors on thick, Horikoshi

(ETA: this is my “just in case my impeccably dry wit doesn’t translate well across the internet” ETA to assure everyone I know he’s not actually blind lol.)

now we’re cutting to some random city where AFO is broodingly staring at Yoichi’s severed hand because he’s perfected the art of always doing incredibly unsettling things

I cannot believe the fucking hands thing has an actual origin story. of course it does. this man has never done a single hinged thing in his life. it’s all unhinged or bust. am I talking about AFO or Horikoshi? YOU DECIDE

he’s sitting at a table with a bottle of wine holding his dead brother’s embalmed severed limb and thinking about fucking quirk shit

so your transformation from Orphaned Cryptid to Billionaire Supervillain happened almost completely offscreen huh. I’m kinda disappointed, ngl. I could have read a few more chapters about that. maybe a spinoff miniseries

WAIT WHAT

are you serious. we finally get a panel that’s INCREDIBLY RELEVANT to pretty much ALL OF MY BNHA THEORIES, only for that same panel to contradict itself ONE SPEECH BUBBLE LATER?? so what is the truth???

omg omg omg

so many fucking questions, omg. what the hell does “through research” even mean. how did he confirm Yoichi’s quirklessness, and why did he later change his mind? how the fuck can Yoichi have a quirk factor and yet not have an actual quirk. “it was just so weak it didn’t count or something I guess” okay??? how much of this is unreliable narrator vs. the word of god? how is it we’re getting so many answers and yet all I have is more fucking questions you guys

BRUE?CE?CEE??!

bruce

Kudou is so goddamned hot. I hope you washed the hell out of that arm wound after getting it all covered in sewage you stupid sexy man

I can’t get over Three’s name. “idk if anyone noticed, but it’s kind of a subtle homage to another very famous superhero” Horikoshi your nap wasn’t long enough, please go home

also love how Bruce is talking shit about OFA being a puny loser quirk for wimps. how the fuck do they even know what’s going on, anyway? was there a tutorial???

oh you just had a feeling huh??? that it was “something like this”, huh??? how is it that I, who knows all about OFA because I’m from the future and have read 408 chapters of this nonsense, am somehow still less in the know than this handsome clown who doesn’t know shit but just “had a feeling”

(ETA: while editing this post I noted that Bruce is sitting in front of a computer in what seems to be some sort of medical lab, so maybe they ran some tests or something? except that only makes me more confused, because it implies they didn’t actually figure out OFA’s workings via convenient plot instincts. so then how the fuck did they figure out the transfer process?? questions)

meanwhile AFO is sitting in the panel next to him whining about how someone stole Yoichi’s quirk. excuse you. he did not steal it. it was in fact a gift

these flashbacks are all jumbled up and it’s unexpectedly fun to read, but also really chaotic

I guess he’s talking to Kudou on the right and AFO on the left

so many intense closeups of eyes in this chapter oh my goodness

Horikoshi even drew the individual goddamn eyelashes. this looks like the margins of someone’s notebook from when they were really bored in middle school

oh my god the information overload!!!

so much for AFO actually feeling emotions lol. or is he just lying to himself about why he cried. that delicious ambiguity

so we don’t even get a flashback explaining how the transfer actually happened?? to either Kudou OR my beloved Bruce?? goddamn you Horikoshi. omg I would seriously kill for more of this. make a movie about it. I want the OFA origin story prequel movie damn it

I like how AFO just sits there on a throne holding court with a single tiki torch beside him for aesthetic reasons

I can’t quite figure out how he killed Banjou and I’m not sure I really want to know. it looks very violent

friendly reminder that Shinomori is Sir Not Appearing In This Flashback because he’s the only OFA user who died of natural causes! good for you Shinomori. En probably wishes he was more like you

poor En

was Nana just taking a stroll or something one day and stumbled across this epic fight with the evilest man on the planet vs some kid in a trenchcoat, and then the poor kid got bisected and he looked at her and he was all “please eat my hair” and she was just like “ok”?

OH WOW

what a transition omg

LOLLLLLLLL

you know, part of me always wondered how All Might was so certain he’d killed AFO that he apparently never bothered to confirm it. but looking at this panel now, I can understand

fjjfdzjgf

he’s sweating so much. like “okay yeah he punched the top of his face off, this is pretty bad but I’LL DO MY BEST”

BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY AWW SHUCKS

so let’s recap. over on Kacchan’s side we have “GOTTA USE THE PAIN TO WIN!!!” haha ouch. and then over here on KFO’s side we have. whatever the fuck we just experienced over these past two chapters. so basically it’s a battle between the two most deranged characters in the entire series. glorious sweet chaos

DSFJKSLDKGJL he’s now trying to figure out how the fuck they look so much alike and whether they’re actually related

“no, that can’t be it. so then maybe... this kid grows up and then somehow travels back in time...?!” HE’S JUST LIKE US FR

so now he’s saying it’s because Kacchan didn’t have character development yet the last time, but now that he does his eyes are all Full Of Determination just like Kudou’s and so we’ve basically come full circle!

transcended WHAT? :O :D :D omg I’m kidding you guys please don’t hurt me

lol

actually the more we learn about Kudou the less I personally see the resemblance now lol. because Kudou seems so calm and collected, but Kacchan is just... [gestures to literally everything about Kacchan]

so AFO’s trying to strategize, but he can’t warp Kacchan away because the only available targets are too close and he’s still got that SUPERSPEED, BOYO so it wouldn’t make a difference. lol but if you kept doing it repeatedly it might be kind of funny though

and he can’t keep fighting him either because he’s getting his ass whooped and it’s speeding up his de-aging or whatever. well you could just give up then I guess. your call, AFO

oh was that your plan?

spoiler alert for me lol. but it’s not exactly shocking or anything since he’s dying, guess he wants to abandon ship

(ETA: just FYI for anyone reading this who’s not familiar with my dumbassery, I have currently only read chapters 1 through 374 at this point in time, before skipping ahead to 403 because Kacchan came back and I lost all willpower. I am working on catching up with the rest!)

oh so now you did come up with a strategy?

lmao what the FUCK

how much of this is going to be clearer to me once I finish the chapters that I missed, and how much of it is just plain old “nope this is all brand new zero-context BnHA bullshit” lol. this looks like every single quirk AFO ever absorbed combined into one gigantic horrifying blob that forced Horikoshi to take an extra week just to draw it

oh my god!?

Kacchan hovering there bravely facing all this is giving me Gandalf “you shall not pass” vibes and I’m LIVING FOR IT

so either AFO is going to kill Kacchan for the second time right here and now, or he’s going to fail and turn back into a squishy evil baby fdslfjkls

love how All Might is all “DODGE IT YOUNG BAKUGOU!” thanks for the warning, champ. doing his part

more exploding bloodsweat closeups. are these just going to be a mainstay of Kacchan fights from now on

“are you stupid?”, when faced with [gestures to the entirety of the previous page], is possibly the best line ever uttered by anyone in the series. even better than the polite “coming through” uttered only seconds before it

ah man. you love to see it. he literally doesn’t even care. HE ALREADY DIED ONCE TODAY, AND IT CLUED HIM IN TO THE FACT THAT HE’S A MAIN CHARACTER AND ACTUALLY IMMUNE TO DEATH. sorry AFO it’s curtains for you. CURTAINS

[actuallyevilgay]

Hear me out, one of Tav’s parents went missing when he was very young. Later he finds out that the reason why his parent went missing was because Astarion lured them to Cazador.

I hope you read my about, Anon. This might go a little different than you expected. My first request :o I’m excited.

Oneshot: Daddy Issues

Astarion x male reader Content Warnings: Discussion of child abuse and child neglect. Mature language. Talk of Adultery. Notes: Tav gets a little unhinged from the doorframe. Tav is not a heroic person. Might not be lore friendly?

…..

The venture into Cazador’s palace was anything but easy, the smell of neglect radiated over the place. It made you wonder if the vampire lord even cared for keeping up appearances, but knowing how some vampires made their rule.. They probably cared more about causing fear than looking as good as they say in romance novels… There was nothing romantic about this place. The allure could’ve been a fantasy for the many victims Astarion was forced to lure into this damned place.

You wouldn’t lie, if this place was given a massive makeover.. It might actually make a nice home. Yet, it was better to keep that banter for after the upcoming battle. Astarion’s unease made your neck hairs stand on edge. You protectively placed yourself in front of Astarion whenever the party turned another corner. His undead lungs consistently caught a large breath at every stop. Like he was about to walk into another nightmare.

Certainly he would, and so would you. The dungeon’s elevator let in an air of absolute disgust. Not just the smell.. The sight of all the victims in cages.

After Sebastian lunged for Astarion in rage, you pulled him back. ‘’This is not your fault.’’ A part of you wanted to judge the poor noble for being stupid, on the other hand.. You didn’t have it in you to mentally process what this could mean. Being another one of Astarion’s victims? No.. No. Don’t you dare even think about it. This guy is already dead, walking into the trap was his own fault. You on the other hand, were here to help Astarion kill Cazador. He may have tried to seduce you under false pretences, but you fell for each other despite all that. You wanted to give him the world. You were not his victim.

‘’They’re all here.’’ He muttered. ‘’Gods. They’re all here.’’

You looked at him with a reassuring glance. ‘’Don’t think about it. Think about yourself.’’ The conflict in Astarion’s eyes remained briefly, pushing at the sides of his mind. He shook his head. ‘’..You’re right. There’s no use in lingering in the past.. Not now.’’

Confident, the party began to cross the room, ignoring the sights of all the vampire spawn in the cages. ‘’Maybe we should.. Free them?’’ Gale uttered, doubtful. ‘’And unleash a horde of ravenous vampire spawn?’’ Shadowheart spit back at the wizard. ‘’They look like they’ve never even fed!’’

Astarion shuddered, wanting to be out of here as soon as possible. He had to face this.

To your regret, as he turned to you once more for guidance, a familiar voice called out.

‘’Tav..? Son- Is that you?’’

You felt bile rise up in your stomach. You haven’t heard this voice since you were at least ten years old. ‘’My, so this is where you’ve been, after all this?’’ You started to laugh in amusement, making everyone around you raise their brows in confusion.

Astarion looked to you, then to the man speaking to you.. He blinked, unsure if this was one of his victims. You made eye contact with the vampire, your expression unreadable.

‘’Don’t worry, I’m not judging you.’’ You noted, before turning back to the man who had abandoned you. ‘’You.. On the other hand.’’

‘’Wait- Does that mean Astarion slept with your-’’ Shadowheart cut herself off as you glared at her. You did not want to envision that at all. Gross. 

‘’Oh I remember that night..’’ Your father’s voice sounded as drunk and hazy as when he left. Maybe that was simply his natural state of being, but you did not care.

‘’..Do you have anything to say that isn’t an attempt to insult me?’’ Your response sounded as bitter as you felt. ‘’Poor dear old dad, seduced by one of his many conquests into damnation. Absolutely perfect. Congratulations.’’

Astarion eyed you, remembering how little you spoke of your past. Maybe.. To distract him, you might as well indulge your loved one. ‘’This man, this man.. Is why my mother left. It’s why I grew up eating moldy bread in the streets.’’ You shook your arms. ‘’This is.. Amazing. I can’t believe he’s here. No- I can. This is actually a good thing.’’ You felt the spiteful laughter tugging your throat. You wanted to laugh until you couldn’t breathe.

‘’Darling..’’ Astarion looked at you with some concern in his voice, unsure what to say. 

‘’Damned little son of a bitch! Let me out of here!’’ Your father tried to reach for you through the bars, you looked at him with cold dead eyes. With one swift turn, you avoided his claws and grabbed him by the throat, smashing him against the prison bars. He coughed up whatever bit of congealed blood was left in his lungs. ‘’Ugh-’’

‘’Can you imagine? This pitiful man.’’ You sighed as you released him, he dropped to the floor. You turned to Astarion again, eyes softening.

‘’For as long as I can remember, this man abused me and my mother. He would leave her with very little, refusing to let her even get a job to provide for me.. Because all he did was drink, and drink, go out and sleep with strangers.’’ You sighed, looking back to the pathetic thing in the cage.

‘’I suppose he was handsome enough for your master to drink dry, maybe he just wanted to get drunk on his intoxicated blood.’’ You went quiet for a moment.

‘’One day, when he didn’t come back- My mother decided it was the perfect time to abandon me.’’ The spite and hatred in your eyes came flowing back. ‘’I had nothing but anger to survive on.’’

‘’You whoreson-’’ Your father once more spoke up, but you spit at him. ‘’SHUT UP!’’

‘’I should’ve beaten you more.’’

You decided to let him have his say, and thus the insults of decades came back around. You remembered them all, each little thing he knew would rile you up and cause you to run and hide. You wanted to slap the teeth out of his mouth, but patiently waited until he was finished.

‘’Have you nothing to say for yourself boy?’’ Your father held onto the prison bars again. ‘’Be a good little shit and do something right in your life for once. Let me out.’’

You stared at him, expression unreadable. Astarion grabbed your hand, he now too shared your rage. ‘’I don’t remember him, actually.. Pity.’’ He said, clicking his teeth.

‘’What? You don’t remember how you led me into this hell? You little-’’ He tried to lunge forward again, making pathetic attempts to claw his way out. ‘’You said all these little- recited lines! Sounded so dreamy. Corny. I was very into it. The sex wasn’t that great though.’’

He turned back to you, noticing you interlocking your fingers with Astarion. Your lover’s face contorted with disgust at your father. ‘’Don’t tell me- you’re into this man? Are you sleeping with him?’’ the deadbeat stopped and laughed at you. ‘’Oh.. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, boy. You’re just like me. Admit it.’’

For a moment, the childlike doubt overtook you again. Everything he said was designed to hurt you, to treat you like a punching bag. He would sometimes feign care for you, only to earn your trust and use it against you like a weapon. You were just a little kid.. This man, this man was a real monster.

‘’I don’t think so, Tav is nothing like you.’’ Astarion thought about it. ‘’If anything, it makes no sense for him to be related to you. Are you sure your wife didn’t sleep around? Hmm?’’ Astarion’s words clearly hit a nerve, because your father once more tried to claw his way out, screaming obscenities.

You didn’t care for either your parents, the idea of your mother sleeping with another man to conceive you wasn’t that far fetched. After all, as far as you were concerned.. You had no parents. You had to raise yourself.

‘’Don’t talk to me like that, you… You..  Manwhore!’’ Your father remarked, he started to look defeated, falling to the ground.

Both you and Astarion shared the same expression at the sight. Amusement. A little piece of justice had come from all this misery.

‘’There’s one little thing.. Just the thing. How do I put this?’’ Astarion thought for a moment. ‘’I think you slept with Petras, not me.’’ He then looked back at you, worried.  ‘’I may have been horrible enough to seduce people for… Cazador. But I never went for the already drunk ones.’’ That confession seemed to hit both Gale and Shadowheart as well. It was genuine.

From all the different kinds of people held captive in this place.. The stories of drunk people falling victim to some of the worst crimes imaginable was one all too familiar.

When he mentioned Petras, you recalled running into him at the flophouse. He recited some of Astarion’s lines in the corniest way possible in an attempt to seduce you. ‘’My dad slept with that guy?’’ You nearly choked. Then your laughter became a storm.

‘’I can’t-’’ You wheezed. ‘’THAT’S-’’ You coughed. ‘’I can’t breathe!’’ You nearly fell to the floor. Then it turned from joyful, into sadistic laughter.

You could see your father peer his reddened eyes at Astarion, narrowing them, making sure he was right.. Then he slowly realised. ‘’You’re.. An elf.’’ 

You laughed again sadistically, and Astarion joined you. 

Gale and Shadowheart awkwardly shifted around. ‘’It’s always like this with those two, huh?’’ Shadowheart mumbled. ‘’You know, I would laugh too if that was my father.’’ Gale shrugged. ‘’Let them, if anything.. The reprieve from the misery in this place is a good thing.’’ Neither the Wizard or the Cleric were as eager to run into a battle with a vampire lord. They were doing this for the sake of their friends. ‘’Well, my mother figure was terrible.’’ Shadowheart eventually added, accepting that this might as well be a good thing. ‘’I should’ve laughed at her downfall, perhaps it would have made things better..’’

You took one more look at your father in the cage as you came down from your high. Taking a deep breath, you examined his face clearly.

‘’Yes, gloat some more. Or are you actually pitying me now?’’ Your father remarked, his eyes begged for freedom. Surely you wouldn’t damn 7000 souls just because of him now, would you?

‘’No, I am simply burning this perfect picture of you into my mind.’’ You replied, causing the dread to sink into his form. ‘’No- No! Don’t let him do this! Please!’’ He turned to your allies, then to Astarion, putting on a different persona in an attempt to persuade him. ‘’I tried okay? He’s lying! I was drunk yes- But I’m not-’’

‘’Shhhh. Hush now, I think he likes it when you look so pathetic.’’ Astarion stared at him with a faked expression of empathy. ‘’Are you ready, my dear?’’ He turned back to you, seeing your smirk slowly fade. ‘’Oh, I’ve had my revenge. Are you ready to get yours?’’ You asked him back, he simply nodded.

Today was only just going to get better.

[yellobb]

Had book club discussion about Carry On today! Here’s some of the highlights:

People were mostly a big fan of the Magic system. Main criticism about it was that it would sometimes take them out of it, like the snickers spell while ebb is actively dying

There was much discussion over Penny and Baz kidnapping the dog, which was very entertaining to me

One of my managers asked if Agatha was in the rest of the series. I told her “she is, but I don’t think she wants to be”

People loved Baz lol. There was a bit less love for Simon (that’s okay, that’s what I’m there for)

I explained the lore behind Fangirl and why the titles are the way they are. Thoroughly confused some people

Someone had to leave the zoom call halfway through because his neighbors called the cops on his van???? Idk that was just wild

One dude who showed up also didn’t even finish the book yet, which I didn’t find out until partway through, so that was fun

They noted some Harry Potter similarities, but agreed it was a very different book

Number one complaint was that “nothing happened”. They were really interested in the politics of the world, how relationships were formed and were pretty disappointed that a lot of that was exposition

One coworker was confused as to why Nico couldn’t do magic anymore, since they mentioned he used to be able to use Ebb’s staff and honestly I don’t remember the answer, so help here would be great if anyone knows. He should be able to even though they snapped his wand, right?

One coworker was frustrated that Simon lost his magic because he thought that was the most interesting part. I told him that he was not alone in that, since I remember so many people being upset back in the day

Everyone saw the plot twist that the Mage was the bad guy coming. Tbh, I read it so long ago that I can’t remember if I was surprised

Everyone also saw snowbaz coming lol. One guy said “I knew by chapter three that those two would be fucking” (oh just you wait my friend. Soon the issue will be that they’re not fucking)

They found it very entertaining that the endorsement was from Lev Grossman because “The Magicians is the polar opposite of this book”

I brought in Skee’s ABC’s of Carry On, Venessa’s art book, the whole series, Fangirl, Scattered Showers, MRB, and various pins from Selkie and others. Also wore my dragon wing earrings and Kris’ shirt :P I let myself be unhinged about it because this is my time to shine. I also have the Wayward Son poster pack at my desk that I pointed out

Overall reviews are positive. Most people didn’t love it quite like I do, but they enjoyed it well enough. I am lovingly forcing two coworkers to finish out the series because they made the mistake of being my friend lol

One guy’s review was “I liked it and I don’t know why. I hate Harry Potter and stuff like it usually.”

Very happy that this is done though, since I can finally hang back up Kris’ Carry On poster. It has too many spoilers, so I’ve had it on the ground hiding for two months for when people came over 😭 it’s going back in its place of honor next to my TV

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'Bad Territory'

As a few people have quickly surmised, the Bad Batch episode in which they go to Space Swampy Badtimes and punch gators was going to send Doug over the edge with joy. Y'all right!

So, turn up the CCR to 'Born on the Bayou', and prepare for some of the more unhinged things Doug's texted me.

CW: Little more mild, just excitement. When Doug starts rambling about Cajun food, just click here. He says it's one of the best places for boudin and bbq and they'll even process a deer you found on the highway.

------------------------------------------------------------

Episode 8: “::happy Cajun noises::”

Well we back in Space Daytona, outside the HMS Search Warrant because Daddy Rambo can’t afford a trailer now. Does that thing have air conditioning? 

Man, Toaster Strudel’s always gone, is he a space trucker now or what.

Oh, man, it’s Church Lady! She don’t seem too upset by Ryan-from-Accounting being somewhere else, fighting the Space Balrog. But we know why she’s not sad. 

(Does this involve Mayday?

"Who?"

Sassy Park Ranger?

"Hell yeah it does! He’s her beau."

What about Ryan-from-Accounting?

"I done told you once I tell you again RYAN-FROM-ACCOUNTING DIDN’T DESERVE THAT SMART INDEPENDENT WOMAN NONE!")

Maybe Daddy Warcrimes will hang out with Church Lady and she can double dip with him and Sassy Park Ranger. It’s Thanksgiving, dark meat and white meat are on the plate.

(WTF?!)

Well you know why Church Lady’s the Church Lady? She’s been talking to other church folks and if there’s one person who knows how to get info on people it’s the church ladies. Seriously, how do you think they organize EVERYTHING and know EVERYONE. You think they go to church for Jesus that’s a bald lie up in here. 

So Julio fires up the stolen work truck and he and Daddy Rambo are off. 

Wait, if that’s their home, where Little Orphan Blondie and Daddy Warcrimes sleeping? The beach? Come on now. 

Aw, shit, man, is that THOTH STATION?! Meat Muffin, these show people reading your white trash love story book and made it into reality! They owe you MONEY GIRL! Think they’ll meet Fred Johnson or Anderson Dawes?!

And look it’s CAMINA DRUMMER! 

Oh wait no that’s that Chick-that’s-in-Everything! Looks like she’s doing business with the guy Han Solo shot in the club. Think she’s selling him Columbian nose candy? 

Well she’s drinking a whole thing of pinot, don’t blame her, I’d be drinking if Daddy Rambo was up in my club whining for names. Go on the Facebook, Daddy Rambo, it’d be easier.

They’re off somewhere else to help the Chick-that’s-in-Everything. OH MY SWEET TITS OF CHRIST THEY IN LOUISIANA AGAIN! IT’S AN OIL REFINERY! No one can breath! They got a PONTOON! Everything’s orange and sticky!

Oh look at them out in them stinky bayous of Terrebonne Parish! Man did they film this entire season in my home state like it’s the first season of True Detective now I wonder. Man that was a good show. 

Aw man, mines in the water! It IS TERREBONNE PARISH! “He won’t expect us,” damn right he won’t. The Chick-Thats-In-Everything sure knows her shit. She’s a redneck hunter and the lady’s got grit. I wonder if she’s caught Steven Segal. 

There better be OH MAN IT IS! 

SPACE GATORS!!!!!

YEAH! PUNCH EM JULIO! SHOOT EM CHICK-THAT’S-IN-EVERYTHING! OH DADDY RAMBO GOT CAUGHT BUT JULIO PUNCHED IT TOO! PUNCHING GATORS AND THROWING KNIVES AND SHOOTING GUNS IN THE BAYOU, MEAT MUFFIN I LOVE THIS DAMN SHOW!!!!!

The only bad thing about this is now I need to go back to Thibodaux to Bourgeois and get some crawfish boudin, maybe some cracklings, some hogshead cheese too. 

Daddy Warcrimes is doing that thing where you sit around and breathe. Jenny tells me to do that. I’m like woman I do that every damn day at work what’s the difference now. 

They’re at the place–it’s a shack in the woods surrounded by home made bombs and the owner’s armed to the teeth?! MEAT MUFFIN THEY GONE DONE AND FILMED IT AT MY COUSIN CLAYTON'S HOUSE IN TERREBONNE PARISH NOW!!!!

Oh man it ain’t my cousin Clayton whose been weird since he got out of Angola,  now they’re hunting Jeff Goldblum from The Fly! Except now he’s a mantis! Hate those things. Jenny set one on fire after she caught it snapping at one of her hummingbirds. That woman, man, you don’t mess with her garden, she’ll take out the hairspray and a lighter and make a torch out of it. Love her. Married two dozen years now.*

Oh! Jeff Goldblum is trying to escape–but the Chick-That’s-In-Everything knows her shit and cuts her own wire to the pontoon! Maybe she IS Camina Drummer after all. 

Oh, man, they done got that mantis son of a bitch. Now, back to Thoth Station, and of course, the Chick-That’s-in-Everything ain’t coughing up a dime. Just flings Daddy Rambo right off her ship. 

Oh, man, who is she calling? 

I hope it’s not Gun-Safety-Muppet, I hate that blue bastard. 

*= Jenny is a delight and really does flip from ‘Sweetie, you need to meditate’ to ‘I will set bugs on fire for threatening my birds’. She’s the one who taught Jimmers to corner and kill everything in their yard.

@skellymom @cdblake1565 @sued134 @amalthiaph @yeehawgeek @merkitty49 @eyecandyeoz @isthereanechoinhere96 who else loves Redneck Doug?

If you want to be added, please let me know!

PS- I have his ramblings from the last two episodes, but they were not nearly as deranged as this.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 27

chapter 46:

1. WOLFSTAR MY BELOVED

2. god i hate that james is having a lapse of time. but also, i LOVE that zar is including their disabilities throughout the fic and not just making it a one-off thing

3. black brothers angst is hitting like a freight train

4. “"The plan was always to take James' place, but I'd be lying if I said the words didn't leave my lips a little easier knowing that Sirius would choke on them."” jesus christ

5. regulus and remus friendship means so much to me. i love that when regulus asked remus the worst thing he did, remus trusted him enough to tell him

6. LILY AND DORCAS FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!

7. also, i love the chaos dorcas knows she’s gonna cause chaos by breaking people out

8. “Lily fucking Evans, everyone.” -dorcas

and that’s the woman i’m in love with!!!

9. AWWW marlene showed up on dorcas’ doorstep!! i love them so much!!

10. “Regulus wonders if James still thinks he's beautiful.” jesus christ, what a way to start a pov

11. “"I didn't break up with you," James snaps. "I didn't exactly get the chance, seeing as we weren't together in the first place."

"Yes, we were," Regulus whispers. In his head, they were. In his heart, they still are.”

oof that fucking HURTS like a punch to the gut. i don’t know how reg is able to survive james being that mad at him

12. god, james is so mad thinking that reg lied about wanting to marry him, and reg meant it 10000%

13. 😶 reg just proposed, right? i read that right??

14. “”He stops, swallows, then gives Remus a soft smile. "You can say it. You probably shouldn't, but—"

"Come back," Remus whispers, like it's a sin, and Sirius' breath hitches.”

i haven’t cried in like five chapters, but this had me SOBBING. i love wolfstar more than the air i breathe

15. “"Do you know that you're the only person who has asked me that? Everyone else—they all just accepted it, what I'm going to do, and there was no one who even—I mean, no one even…argued, or protested. Maybe it's because I'm so stubborn and they know it wouldn't get them anywhere, but—but no one tried. And maybe it makes me selfish, but I'm so glad that you have."”

STOP IM CRYING HARDER NOW WTF THIS HURTS

16. “"I'd die for them, but I'd live for you."” YOOO THIS HURTS

17. “"No, no, I want to hear about this secret fantasy of yours to have sex on or against household appliances. Do tell me more, sweetheart. Give me all the filthy details."”

18. “"I'm partial to the kitchen table. It'd be nice, I think, splaying you out there and enjoying you like a meal. Wouldn't that be nice?"”

remus is so unhinged 😭😭😭

19. 🥰 dorlene mornings after sex

20. awww dorcas is cutting marlene’s hair. this is so intimate

21. god i’m so worried for marlene in this arena

22. james being a big meanie (i don’t blame him) and regulus breaking down and crying and james being like 😶😧😦😟 no! why are you doing that! stop!!

23. “James lasted ten years dealing with Regulus hating him, and being unkind, and ignoring him. Regulus didn't even last five days.”

awww reg is just a big softie

24. 😦 uh oh. dad and pop are fighting. they’re having the screaming match of the century

25. god, this whole fight is reminding me of when effie called regulus gentle.

26. “Not will you marry me, because James can't, but would you marry me, if you could?” i-

27. honorary authors notes from zar:

“oh, and *bursts into tears* THEY'RE ENGAGED 😭

well, okay, not really—but tell that to regulus, who will ABSOLUTELY be running with this new information lmaooo. this is the same man calling james his ex when they weren't even together. james just stating he WOULD marry regulus if he could—yes, regulus' brain has immediately decided they're engaged now. james, babe, you really should have seen that coming 💀

regulus: would you marry me if you could

james: yeah

regulus: so what im hearing is we're engaged now. we just got engaged. that's what this was.

james: ...that's...not... why do i even bother trying to keep up with you? sure, whatever you say!”

[culpeppercheckers721]

Turn Week 2024– Day 4: Set It To Music

Get ready, this is gonna be a really long post methinks!! 🤠 Also I just rewatched the last two episodes of Turn and am still in emotional shambles from that, so please bear with me.

AS SAID: I warn you that this is a very long post with lots of links, and also that this turned out way less hinged than I mean it to jfc (then again being unhinged was my whole goal on here so) 😀

Since I am such a degenerate for setting the things I love to songs, I believe that I shall break this up into odd little sections:

Songs for certain scenes:

The Night Boat

Though this may not be incredibly specific, every time I hear this song, I can picture so clearly every scene by the dark, blue waters of frog’s cove, and can see Caleb approaching in his literal, well, night boat ;) Also if you know me well enough you may already know I have a weird thing when it comes to Turn & Duran Duran— their music is excellent for creativity for me (and also, as much as I love the original version of Night Boat above all, here I use the Danse Macabre version as it’s simply spookier, and better for this vibe ;))

Fuel to Fire

Alright, a little bit of canon, and a little bit of AUs all in one. Though there is already a song playing in this overall scene, some individual moments from it, and just Abe & Townsend’s energy around each other this season in general just screams this song to me. If you recall season one of Turn, you may remember a montage of Simcoe terrorizing Setauket in Against Thy Neighbor while a rendition of a song called Katie Cruel played in the background, sung by none other than Agnes Obel, so she already has Turn vibes considering her music has literally been featured in the show! And even if she hadn’t, the lyrics and the energy of this is so unshakable to me, I cannot imagine ever listening to this song and not thinking about Abe & Robert or at least Turn in general, and not to mention, as some of you may be familiar with, a literary masterpiece by a similar title (Like Fuel to the Fire, I beg of you go read it).

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Ok I know this is even less historic-feeling than the ones included so far, but here me out. I can’t exclude this one because of how much the end of the Nightmare intro, when Abe goes “it’s rainin’” makes me think of this song every time. This scene and this song alike both contain the rain symbolism, they’re both about mourning a father, and ALSO Jamie Bell literally stars in the music video of this song which I find very ironic!! So no, I could not exclude this one. 💕

Songs for specific characters:

Right Where You Left Me

Annlet shippers, I am not trying to hurt y’all, and I know everyone uses Taylor Swift for everything but uh. As arbitrary as most of these lyrics are, for some reason I can picture either of them just sitting in Rivington’s, frozen and thinking about one another and what they’ve done, to this song. And it is depressing but kind of intriguing. So if I hAVE TO THINK THAT SO DO YOU.

Touchy Feely Fool

Wow so much Abraham. Call me what you will but the FIRST time I heard this song I thought about Abe. I cannot help it. It’s hard to explain it, but this just. Reminds me of him so much. Especially when you think about his relationship with Richard, juxtaposed with “maybe someday when I’m older, I’ll be better off like you, I’m better off a stick, I’m better off a stone, I’m better off a jerk, I’m better off alone…” etc. I know I am FUCKING INSANE BUT THE ABE ENERGY IS UNSHAKABLE TO ME. HAHSHAHS. Anyways, attached is an extremely shitty old edit I tried to do for him with it, once again feat. copious Townhull vibes. As you can see it did not go well, and many things went wrong, but now’s as good a time as any for me to post it. As another wise Turn fan once put it: I may be fucking crazy, but I am free.

Songs for AU shit:

Familiar

More Agnes Obel for you! I know this is really unoriginal, I’ve seen a few people relate this song to Townhull in the past I think, but like. I just love it so much, and I can see the vision lmao.

Love Like Ghosts

Keeping with the weird-ass ghost motif, we end, for now, with another song that has the right vibes for a Townhull AU of mine, specifically when it comes to the events of Mended, I think; time for some good old Lord Huron. I hesitated to put this on a playlist for them at first because I really wasn’t sure if it actually fit, but for vibes alone, and this particular scene in such a plot… yeah. ;) If nothing else, the “spirits” that follow Abe could be that of his brother’s memory, and plus, the title and chorus— “love is like ghosts”— is simply hauntingly poetic to me ;)

Was really hoping to get this post up before midnight, but alas, here we are. Anyways, happy late 4th of July to all those celebrating, and even if you are not celebrating, I still hope you have a wonderful evening!! ❤️🤍💙

[iguessitsjustme]

Love Sea Ep 7 Thoughts

I was considering not doing a liveblog this week. This honestly might be my last one. I don’t know. I just…I don’t feel particularly welcome here anymore so this might be my last post for a while (here being tumblr. this is not love sea specific. everyone has been very nice about my liveblogs thank you). Also my tendonitis has been so extremely bad lately. Honestly, this will probably not even be much of a liveblog. Click to read if you want. Or don’t. I’m just gonna eat my pizza and watch.

I want Rak’s shirt with the little infinity over the heart.

I actually think they’re being cute right now. And I really like this music choice. Either this show has gotten better, I’ve stopped caring, or my mental state is more fragile than even I realized.

I still hate the narration at the beginning of the episodes. Stop this. It adds nothing.

Can I skip all of Vie’s scenes? Will that make it better or worse?

Rak don’t give that man money. Give that man a concussion. 

Honestly, I’ll forgive Mut everything if he just…punches Rak’s dad. Just a little. As a treat.

Save Mook. Save her.

The way I would have left Vie stranded so many times. Mook is a far better person than I. And she deserves better. This manipulation is such ass. I’m not gonna talk about it any more. It’s making me angry. Like real angry. Not just haha internet angry. But angry angry.

Mook has to threaten to quit to get Rak to do part of his job that he agreed to do and somehow she’s the bad guy? They should just rename this show Hate Mook.

This storyline with Rak’s…cousin?? I think. It bores me. I am bored.

Okay I was worried that someone would try to make it seem like Mut met Rak’s cousin in secret but it does seem like Mut told Rak about it. That’s good. Unexpected but good. Wish I cared.

What was the point of all of that? Why introduce that problem just to immediately solve it? Why immediately cancel it out? It did nothing. It added nothing. What was the point?

Noisy neighbors go AWAY

I managed to get so far into the show today before they appeared but dear god. One of these days I’m gonna leave my apartment and just be like “y’all noisy. Ya mind?”

Even MORE noisy neighbors? Anyway clapping very loud and saying “excellent. wonderful. truly amazing. love it.” in a deadpan voice gets them to at least stop being so freaking noisy. They’re still there and talking but at least they aren’t so damn loud.

Anyway I rolled my eyes the entire way through Rak’s speech.

What was Prin’s plan really? Rak will get accused of throwing water at her? If people actually believed he did that, it would blow over in what? A week? It was water. She also didn’t think there would be a camera? Seriously. What was her end game? What kind of weak ass plan was that?

If Vie just asked for help like a normal person and was willing to accept a no from Mook, Mook would be so much more eager to help. But the manipulation is crazy. How are you going to say that Mook not helping you rehearse will lead to OT for the crew. Be better at your job then???

I just had to go wash soot off of my hands. It’s better if you don’t ask. But I need you all to know my struggle.

Honestly? This episode was fine. Rak and Mut are cute now I guess. Vie can go…away. Just go away. Mook deserves better. Prin is unhinged but also this is a huge scandal because she dumped water on herself. That’s insane. The framing of the show is making out like it’s the most egregious crime. Like yeah. She tried to create a scandal by saying Rak dumped water on her but again…it’s…water. Many people have had water dumped on them and more people will in the future. It’s not like someone pulled a gun on someone. It is literally the least serious scandal of all time. The best way to deal with the Prins of the world is to just not give them any attention. Let them be off in their own little corner being unhinged by themselves. When she appears be like “oh hey. It’s you. how you been?” Just indifference. And also this scandal will blow over in a week if she just doesn’t do anything else crazy. This whole plot is so boring. Like oh no! Someone splashed some water! Whatever will they doooo???

I should go cause I’m being petty about this show. I did enjoy the episode for the most part. No screenshots today. It’s fine. It’s not the best but at least now I can enjoy it for what it is. Except for Vie. I need her not in this show actually.

Oh the show wasn’t over yet. There’s a little bit at the end. Oooohhh this is so on the nose it hurts. I get it. But dear god. This show’s writing has no subtlety whatsoever. It’s like “I need to smack all viewers upside the head with this giant hammer that says MESSAGE on it!” I GET IT. Damn this show really wants to try to do all of our thinking for us. The problem is that it isn’t doing it well. The message you are beating us over the head with should match the story you’re telling. And it’s not. Not quite. Close but not quite.

Oh and it’s paired with product placement. Message with an ad!

Oh I’m gonna hate next week’s episode. Good thing I probably won’t be liveblogging it! I might but the odds are not in liveblog’s favor. I am now gonna go and do/watch something that I actually enjoy and talk to people I love.

[virgo-dream]

9 and/or 17 for the ask game!

Hi Seiya!!! 💖 I’m not going to answer 9 in this post because I honestly have memory issues and I don’t currently remember something I wrote that I’m particularly proud of right now :(

17. Are there any writers and/or stories that you consider an influence?

Uuuuuuuh I think I’ve said this to them a billion times but I’m definitely tagging them here too!

@avelera is fully the reason why I’m on tumblr for Dreamling and even writing fic! I love the way she develops her plots, the impeccable grasp she has on the minds of the characters, and just how well she does writing stories in different genres. Also, Maggie has the ability to not coddle the characters and show their ugly sides too, which is something I admire a lot.

@softest-punk has to hear me scream whenever they post anything because soft has the gentlest, kindest and most hopeful writing I’ve ever seen. Everything is imbued with an inner light and just fiercely loving. Soft, like Maggie, also has incredible grasp of the technical part of writing (which is the reason why I’ve bothered both of them for writing advice).

@landwriter is an absolute master of themes and language. Just unhinged levels of drenching a story in symbolism even in the smallest little details. Also, the way Gloam does research is insane. I wish I had the same level of brain power to do research for work that Gloam does for fics.

@moorishflower’s writing is wild, vivid, unapologetic, experimental… moorish is just out here writing about themes and in ways that I’ve never allowed myself to even consider trying. Another master of language, like Gloam, and constantly pushing the boundaries.

@chiron-crow just goes there with his fics. He’s exploring pain, darkness, honesty and healing in an incredibly raw way that I think even scares him sometimes. I love how Chi organises his writing, how methodical he is in his process and how deeply he cares for the themes he chooses to tackle (Also his poetry fucking slaps ok?)

@valeriianz’s Bolt In The Blue has such a strong grip on my heart that I actually wrote fic for Kris’ fic lol. It’s a true slow burn, which I enjoy reading but am terrible at executing in my own writing. I love how Kris is able to take something that is not a common experience (being a touring musician) and stripping it down to the bare bones of it, the points of connection where everyone can identify with the characters.

@beatnikfreakiswriting’s “would you let me know” is one of the most delightful fics I’ve had the pleasure of stumbling upon. The exploration of Dream and Hob’s relationship, how Dream slowly opens up, all while dealing with the academic environment as a backdrop. I’ve steered away from academic AUs because I have deep academic trauma, so this fic made me feel seen and I was happy to have given it a chance. I just remember being happy reading it.

MonstruousRegiment is not on tumblr as far as I’m aware, but both The Uses of Adversity and The Stars Move Still are in my kindle fic bible for continuous reading because damn, those fics are good. There are so many original characters that just feel native to the universe they’re exploring. Their take on the “Hob saves Dream from the fishbowl” trope is one of my favourites to date. In the second instalment of the series, they manage to do yet another incredible canon divergence take. I’d read a thousand of those, just exploring how things could be different at different points of the story.

[thelonesomequeen]

I think I can speak for quite a few people regarding why so many of us are having a problem with your blog now - and, I’m in no way trying to be a troll or rude when saying this, so please don’t block me, we’re all just trying to understand, so please understand us too because this is how so many of us are thinking and feeling right now.

I believe the issue is that you guys keep talking about said wedding, but have yet to actually provide us with any sort of proof at all to back up your claims. Let alone, you still have yet to share the date, either - which, btw, you don’t even have to give the exact date, but just like the month I think would be suffice, like even Deuxmoi (who nobody believes most of the time) still gave a ball park date & keeps saying it’s happening at the end of September. I’m a subscriber of hers, and she’s actually said verbatim “end of September.”

Most importantly, though, you guys have shared screen shots from your conversations and provided proofs in the past, like most recently with the Bermuda sighting and the AD piece, so why can’t you do the same here?

A lot of blogs and people are claiming so many different things, and have been doing so since everything first began with this rs. Every day it’s a new claim someone is sending in or some mod here is chiming - and not just on Tumblr, but on other platforms, too.

And I think I can speak for everyone by saying that we’re all just so incredibly tired of all the lying, deceiving, trolling and manipulation. So very tired.

And I’m in no way targeting you guys directly with this part, this is going for anyone who’s reading this, but it’s honestly enough atp. If you have actual tea, anyone, not just you guys, and you have actual, tangible evidence to back it up, then either keep it to yourself or if you want to, share it. But don’t go around either singing “I know something you don’t know and I have proofs, but I’m not going to share it because of privacy, or attacks or nobody will believe me anyway so what’s the point or whatever the excuse is” and then not share it, because a) that’s just adding to the problem and b)nobody likes gatekeeping.

Like if anyone is actually concerned for any of the sample excuses that I gave, then why bother sharing said info to begin with? Honestly, just keep it to yourself.

I personally, would rather you guys have never shared that you supposedly know about the wedding - because a)you’re not giving any more details other than you know about it and b)again, you’re not backing these claims up with anything.

That’s just me, though.

I can imagine now a lot of people are going to come to your defenses and hit back at me with whatever, like you guys don’t “owe” us anything or the “proof” is already there with either the recent IG wedding planning/videographer whatever follows, or just look at LQ’s track record. I’m sorry, but that’s not enough for a lot of us atp. So while everyone keeps asking us to understand where you guys are coming from and to look from your guys’ perspective, please try and do the same for us with what I’ve mentioned. Not everyone here is unhinged.

Again, not trying to be a troll, but this all needed to be said. I really hope you guys post and answer this. Thank you Xx

I’m hoping the this is the last time we have to say anything on our sources, because we’ve explained this multiple times already. They were not an anon. They are someone we’ve spoken to. We know this person. Yes, they have shared evidence with us that makes us believe that what they’re saying is true. The reason we can’t post that evidence is because there is no way for us to do that without exposing their identity. Something of which they understandably, do not want the fandom to know. We’ve also said that because we can’t share that with you, we understand if it results in you not believing us or being wary. But keep in mind that the person who shared the information with us, also shared accurate information with us that we shared with you ahead of time. People accused us of riling up the fandom when we posted about things that were going to happen before we did, but the reason that we did that was so we would have a basis of trust with you all. if that’s not enough for you, it’s not. But we’re not going to expose someone’s identity so that the fandom can go attack them. Also, if people think we violated privacy by sharing that a wedding is going to happen at sometime, then there is definitely no way for us to share any form of evidence, without violating privacy much further than the simple sharing of information.

No, we haven’t shared the date, but we HAVE narrowed it down. First we said, before the end of the year, and eventually we shifted to saying fall. We do not feel comfortable narrowing it down further right now. I’m sorry if that upsets you, but we are still trying to do what we think is best here, regardless of the shit show this has all turned into.

We understand that everyone is tired of lies and trolling. We are too. But we aren’t some blog that popped up within the last year. This blog has been here for over a decade and we have never intentionally mislead you all at any point. We built a history here. For some people, that’s enough. We understand if it’s not for others with the state of the fandom the way it is now. But what it doesn’t do is give others the right to constantly attack us, harass us, or send us death threats when you could simply scroll away or avoid coming to our page. If you’re finding all the various fandom spaces overwhelming, then I would suggest sticking to the few pages that you like and trust and leave it at that. Notice how we tell people it’s ok if they don’t believe us because we know we can’t offer you the proof you want and would rather wait for that. We don’t scream at you all that you better believe us. Because we don’t need to when we know the truth will eventually be revealed in a way most can (hopefully) accept.

You bring up gatekeeping, and that is a big part of why we did decide to mention the engagement. It wasn’t about attention for us. It never was and never will be. To us, it felt like too big of information to keep to ourselves. The other part of our decision to share the information was so that it could be a type of warning for some people who needed it. There are still people in this fandom who believe Chris and Alba have never even been in the same room together despite there being picture and video evidence of it. We got to a point where we really started to get concerned about the mental health of some people in this fandom. How were they going to react if eventually news just broke about them being married? And if we admitted we knew after the fact? We’d still be getting attacked. It would just be by people who would call us liars for not sharing the information ahead of time if we knew, and people being upset that we did not warn them it was coming. We knew no matter what we did, share, or keep it to ourselves, that people were gonna be upset with us. So when that’s the case we have to do what we think is best.

Sometimes we do wish we would have just kept it to ourselves with the way we’ve been treated by people. Do you guys really think it’s been fun for us? Because it really hasn’t been. But we can’t go back and undo what’s already been done. And even if we could, it doesn’t change the reality of the situation.

[gurokichi]

i really appreciate the concern, puppy. but i cant help but worry about keeping others waiting. i dont want to leave you be, puppy. i must always be on the prowl, waiting to pounce.

hm, than perhaps i am a mootie. you got that right. you just need to find out which one. and yes, i do frequent your main blog. still, unfortunately you havent posted much. but i can wait.

so your god likes pokemon too? my taste would be near divine, then! dont you think, puppy? what’s his favourite pokemon, if i may ask?

and i love hoopa! especially its big form. its over 36 feet tall if im not wrong? it is perhaps one of the biggest pokemon ever! leafeon is also a cute one. to me, its an elegant little guy.

he must be a pleasant person from what ive read, your god. id love to get to know him.

(🎶)

AUGH, sorry for the late reply. I was watching BSD and tumblr didn’t give me a notif, whoopsie. I’m glad to see that you’re back!! I really don’t mind waiting, I promise.

Ah, seriously?? I wasn’t expecting you to have actually known my main blog… hahah, how long ago did you find this one? Did you know right away who I was, or have you only recently figured it out? I mean, I purposefully made them a bit similar. I was curious to see if anyone would realize! As for me posting there… you may be waiting for a while. I’m hiding out here. I built up a following there, and I’d feel bad suddenly posting stuff that I didn’t originally warn about in my intro. I made this sideblog so that I could post whatever unhinged stuff I wanted. Basically, this one is a more extreme version of my main. I’d hate to accidentally upset someone (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

My God does like Pokémon! That makes sense, so I think I’d agree about your taste being close to the divine. Funnily enough, you actually remind me of my God. My God’s favorite is the popplio evolution line! They do have some other favorites… but I’d have to go back and check. I don’t wanna get anything wrong.

REALLY?? I feel like I rarely meet people who like hoopa. I have no idea how tall hoopa’s big form is… I prefer tiny hoopa. That’s really cool that it’s one of the tallest. Leafeon is an elegant lil guy!! I adore leafeon, but I am also a bit tired of it. Everyone seems to associate me with leafeon. I got several leafeon plushies (Which I got quite a few on the same birthday. By coincidence. Multiple people bought me slightly different leafeon plushies as they didn’t know someone else was getting me one 😭) and the funko pop in my room, ehehe.

My God is a very pleasant person!! They’re always so nice to me, they make me incredibly happy. As for getting to know them… maybe. I’m pretty possessive over them. I’ve gotten sick over seeing them talk to others. Of course, I can’t exactly stop you if you figure out who they are. I think I’d be pretty upset if you were to do that, though. At this point in time, I’m just not likely to introduce you two. I have no idea if they’d even want their account mentioned on this blog anyways. Although you might get a response from my God if you send something on anon here to them! I’d be okay with that >ᴗ<

[clairdeluneandmurder]

A selection of unhinged quotes from my political theory professor:

"Socrates has a tiny ghost in his head telling him when things are wrong. Unfortunately, it doesn’t tell him when things are right so he’s just really annoying."

*Brings a 1-liter bottle of sparkling water to every class and drinks the whole thing during lecture.*

“The flood happened because God looked down at earth and said ‘I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do with this’, and so he nerfed us again.”

“God comes down and asks ‘Where my people at?’ And Adam and Eve are like ‘We done fucked up’.”

“Any schmuck can match their socks to their shoes but the mark of a true gentleman is matching your socks to your mood.” - said because someone insulted his neon pink socks.

“At that point, everyone else would be dead and it would just be Carl Schmidt waddling around Germany all alone.”

Prof: “Is the Illuminati still a thing with your generation?” Student: “Yeah” Prof: “The number one rule of the Illuminati is toughen the fuck up.”

“You can read Hobbes’ Behemoth if you're like a glutton for punishment or something.”

“The neat thing about soup is that you can start with the same ingredients and end up with a new soup every time.”

“If any of you steal my pies I’m going to assume you’re possessed by a demon... I made a pie yesterday. You have NO IDEA how much fruit goes into one of those fuckers.”

“The great thing about Locke is he’s dead. Once you’re a corpse you can be used for anything.”

“I am the crazy leftist professor your parents warned you about. I will make you read Marx and I will say that racism is bad. Sue me.”

"de Sade would be great at being on the internet. And I do mean that as an insult."

Brought a jar to class and put a dollar in it every time he used the word ‘neoliberal’, said he'd give us the money that goes in at the end of the semester. (we each got 3 bucks, there are 15 people in the class)

"Time is a flat circle and I am but a lonely goldfish cracker."

“By a show of hands, who is hungover today? I’ll go first to make you feel better. I am hungover today, be nice to me."

Starts lecture by writing on the whiteboard: “THE ECONOMY IS STUPID”

“Just to be clear, I’m not saying we should guillotine people who open soap shops on Etsy.”

“People don’t get my Simpsons references anymore. You kids today with your sponge bob and anime.”

“If you need help, please ask for it. The worst thing that happens is I send you a super condescending email and you’re no worse off.”

“You’re a shitty libertarian if you accidentally become a Leninist.”

“Anyone seen one of these modern garbage trucks? It’s sick right?! Pretty fucking cool!” proceeds to do an impression of a garbage truck “Marx would love to drive around a dope robot truck.”

"That’s what makes babies just awful. They don’t understand that they don’t always get what they want."

"For how many of y’all does getting stoned and staring at a wall to ponder morality sound like a great class?"

“I once had a student use the topic 'The only way to commune with the aliens is through nuclear warfare' for this assignment, nothing you write can scare me anymore."

“I'm not going to make you read this. It’s 4 volumes, 2500 pages, and mostly about how linen is produced. Moments of brilliance though.”

“I think we should replace the death penalty with public humiliation. ”

"Crude Freudism will get you 80% of the way there 90% of the time."

"I’m going to throw my uncle under the bus here… Actually, I fucking hated that guy and he’s dead so whatever."

"The best thing you can do for your future happiness is to never think about politics. …I say to a bunch of people enrolled in a 400-level political theory class. Y’alls mental health is fucked I guess."

"God tells you not to do the one Bad Thing and Eve is just so sexy that man has to do the one Bad Thing."

"I haven’t worn a 1950’s bra but I’ve heard they’re very uncomfortable. …Not that I’m opposed, I just don’t have the access and I've been banned from three museums so far."

"Course evaluations are available now y’all. I don’t care what you say about me or the class, but make sure you mention how great my hair is."

"Identity politics can be useful, but I think we’ve probably taken it too far since now we’re at the point where Kid Rock is shotgunning 18 packs of bud light on Twitter as a form of protest."

"We basically live in an aristocracy where you can vote. Sorry to disappoint you if you think Joe Biden is a communist."

"Do you know why we didn’t celebrate international workers day on May first? Because America says fuck you, that’s why."

[keepingupwiththecullensblog]

🌟🚗 Welcome back to “Keeping Up with the Cullens”! Today, we’re diving into one of the wildest, most unhinged moments from Edward Cullen’s Vampire Road Rage Extravaganza. I know I talked about this before, but seriously, it’s so out-of-control that it deserves its own post. If you thought your morning commute was stressful, just wait until you hear about the Cullen family’s high-speed race through Phoenix, where everything that could go wrong does—and then some. 🏎️💨

Here’s the basics: Edward’s in full-on panic mode, driving like he’s in the final lap of the Daytona 500 because Bella’s life is hanging by a thread. 🧛‍♂️💔 Alice is in the passenger seat, casually dropping visions about all the ways this could go horribly wrong, but don’t worry, she’s cool as a cucumber. Meanwhile, Jasper is trying his best to calm Edward’s nerves with his mood-manipulating powers, but it’s like trying to soothe a tornado. 🌪️😱

In the backseat, we’ve got Emmett and Jasper acting as rearview mirrors because Edward decided to rip the actual mirrors off the car in a fit of vampire frustration. They’re ready to pounce on anything that gets in their way—or just keep an eye out for the inevitable pile-up they’re about to cause. 🚗💥 Carlisle, usually the calm and collected doctor, is in on the chaos too. He ends up “drugging” a woman on the road because, surprise, they have to steal yet another car—this time hers. 🩺💉

Oh, and let’s not forget the 10-car pileup they cause along the way, but don’t worry, Alice assures everyone that there are no fatalities, so it’s all good! Just your average day in the life of a vampire family on a mission, right? 🚨😅

I’ve seen people on YouTube trying to describe this madness, but no one can quite capture just how chaotic and over-the-top it really is. If you want to truly experience the intensity and absurdity of it all, you’ve got to listen to the audiobook. Jake Abel, who narrates Midnight Sun, absolutely nails Edward’s freak-out. You’ll feel like you’re in the car with them, holding on for dear life. 🎧😂

I’m sad, but I’m also excited to re-read New Moon now that I know how much Edward hates lying to Bella and how hard it was for him to leave. Seriously, the whole thing makes me want to cry just thinking about these hospital scenes. 😭💔 So watch out for my first post on New Moon—there’s so much more to dive into!

[loveandthings11]

How Deep My Love Goes, Chapter 12

Read on AO3 Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11

Fic Summary: A Kenrava-focused fix-it alongside canon 💗

Chapter Summary: SEASON 2 ERA! Roman makes his decision. Kendall and Stewy kick off the business media frenzy around the hostile takeover. Kendall works on saving Vaulter against all odds. Rava and Kendall take a trip to her parents’ house. Featuring Kendall in glasses!

New Year's Day

In here, it’s surreal.

Kendall looks over at his suit jacket flung over the armchair, Brioni pants wrinkled on the floor. He sees Rava’s messy hair draped over her peaceful face, lipstick smeared the way he wanted it. A pile of blue silk is by the door because it wasn’t staying on past the click of the lock. A news broadcast comes over the radio and he turns it off. He doesn’t need to hear it- there’s no news bigger than what he did yesterday.

Outside, Logan’s calling him a druggie. Shiv’s rolling her eyes as “insane,” “unhinged,” spill out of her lips and Tom nods at everything he hears. Outside, Roman’s pacing nervously, Tabitha’s pouring Bailey’s in her coffee and watching him decide his future. Greg’s looking around, plotting, deciding nothing and waiting for the next possibility to walk in. Marcia’s shaking her head, Connor’s condemning his little brother for the loss of family harmony that wasn’t really there. Outside, they’re waiting.

But in here, Kendall is a king. It’s New Year’s Day and no one can touch him. His birthright is coming. He’s never loved the sunrise so much.

The door knocker thunks on the heavy wooden door and Kendall gets up to answer it because kings don’t hide. Roman’s right there when he pulls it partially open like Austerlitz deja vu.

“So, I kind of have to talk to you,” Roman starts.

Kendall glances back at Rava, still asleep, and steps outside the door, closing it quietly behind him and turning to look skeptically at his brother. He’s feeling generous enough to give him a chance to explain what happened.

“Uh, yeah, I guess you do have to talk to me. Where were you last night?” Kendall asks. Roman’s reluctant and rubs the back of his head.

“I was talking to Dad, okay?”

Kendall smiles into the scoff, like he knew it.

“Right. Okay. Yeah, you know what, bro, not everyone’s cut out for this. So don’t worry about it. I’m sure Dad will find a nice little cage for you at the studio again.”

Roman rolls his eyes and tries not to take the bait.

“Maybe I can tell you some shit you didn’t already know, can you consider that?” Kendall stays quiet against his instinct and Roman sighs. “Look. I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility that you will crash and burn, because, I mean-“ he gestures at Kendall. “-you’re you.”

“That’s not going to happen. Do you have a point?” Kendall replies evenly. It won’t take much to tip things into being overwhelming and he wants to focus on the good parts of this day.

“Fucking- obviously,” Roman says, irritated. He continues slowly. “How would you feel about me, maybe, giving you some information- when I deem it’s good for me- and maybe just generally not totally fucking you?”

“Wow. That’s a really great deal for nobody,” Kendall says. “I told you before, Dad’s going to do nothing for you like he did nothing for me. Dude, I had an actual job at Waystar and he did what he did. I mean, what- what do you think he’s going to do to you?”

“I don’t fucking know, Ken, but I don’t want to kill him like you do.”

He feels the barb’s intended pain and really wishes Roman wouldn’t think that.

“What- how do you not understand how much I didn’t want to do this?” he asks incredulously. He shakes his head and tries to connect in a more gentle, intense way, looking right into Roman’s eyes. “I didn’t. But it’s happening. And I am taking over. Dad’s time is ending. You can still hop on the lifeboat. Heading to dry land, bro.”

“Well, maybe stop this attempt at poetry and listen to me. This can help you. Look, I planned the vote with you, I actually- puke- agree with certain parts of your vision-“

“Because my vision is fucking good-“ Kendall interjects.

“-And buying stations to indoctrinate some local tinfoil hat fucks is not the- the- thing. But I am not risking my life for a ‘lifeboat’ made of, like, popsicle sticks and your childhood dreams. So, take it or leave it. I might save you by telling you valuable shit.”

“Or you might try to sink me.”

“If you annoy me. Which is highly likely, I’m just being honest.”

Kendall rubs his forehead.

“Negotiating against yourself. Good luck out there. Well, I’m obviously not going to tell you anything. You’re asking to be a double agent. I don’t even- who does that? Honestly, I can get information from other sources.” Kendall remembers his talk with Greg last night, his bumbling blackmail that Kendall found both amusing and concerning. But he knows Greg’s loyalty will go to the highest bidder. If he buys it, it’s his. With Roman it’s more complicated.

Roman tries a new, genuine appeal.

“This…” Roman gestures between them, “this has been nice. Like, is there a way where it doesn’t have to be… you know?”

Kendall feels torn. It has been nice. He’d missed Roman when he’d been in LA, and they hardly see each other even when they’re both in New York.

“You know I wanted you on board,” Kendall says with disappointment. He remembers that it’s not only his choice. “I think you’re being wishy washy, but I’m pretty sure Stewy and Sandy will have stronger language than that to describe it.”

Roman raises his eyebrows and looks down and away. It makes Kendall feel achy and want to change his mind.

“Okay. Open offer.” Roman gives him an unreadable look before turning and walking toward the dining room for breakfast.

The slight bump of the wood when Kendall closes the door upon re-entering the bedroom makes Rava stir.

“Mmm. What are you doing? Come back.” She’s never liked that he gets up before her and he’s spent most weekend mornings of his adult life as a pillow for an extra hour or two. It’s always been his time to secretly send Saturday and Sunday work emails, but he doesn’t think he can even pretend to want to lie down now. He’s vibrating with energy, conflict, worries, excitement. He goes to sit on the bed and brushes her hair off her face. She softly holds his hand with both of hers and he smiles at how sweet she is when she’s still half-asleep.

“You want to get breakfast?” he asks quietly. “Come with me. Not here, we’ll go somewhere.”

“Mmhmm.” She opens her eyes and squints at him. “Okay. Are the kids up?”

“I don’t know, I just got up myself.”

“Okay.” She sits up with the sheet loose around her and he suddenly needs to be close and scoops her toward him for a comforting hug. It’s going to be okay. She’s still sleepy and melts into him easily for a minute as he breathes in her scent. She rolls out of bed and he admires her bare skin as she walks around looking for the robe she’d brought. “Where is that robe..?” she asks.

“I’m not telling you,” he replies, eyes not leaving her body.

“Okay. Great, thank you,” she smiles sarcastically and nods along before spotting the robe and wrapping it around herself.

After throwing on a pair of dark jeans and a beige sweater and looking effortlessly chic, Rava goes into the kids’ room and Kendall gets ready to sneak past the sure-to-be-awkward breakfast to find something in town before flying home.

……

The kids sleep in a back bedroom of the jet while Rava dozes with her head on Kendall’s shoulder. Jet lag, post-wedding exhaustion, and hangovers are winning this day for everyone else. Kendall puts his arm around her and silently practices his talking points for the news appearances he and Stewy will be flooded with once they’re back in the city. Stewy smirks at his phone as he texts and sips coffee with his soft leather loafers up on a footstool and blankets draped over him on his reclined seat. Roman had declared that he was going with Tabitha on Logan’s jet because Dad said so, so it’s just the three of them. Stewy looks up and nods at Kendall’s notecards.

“You ready?” Stewy whispers to Kendall. “PGN first.” Kendall nods seriously. “So what’s up with your brother?” Stewy inquires, keeping his voice down. “He pass out in a bathroom with his dick in his hand?”

“Uh, he went to talk to Dad. He came to me this morning and offered to inform on him, but obviously he’s just doing Dad’s bidding now,” Kendall reports a little emotionlessly.

Stewy’s eyes widen and he tilts his head with a slight look of disbelief.

“He got stuck, huh? Cool, Sandy’s gonna love that. It’ll look great for me that I vouched for him. Fucker.”

“Yeah. I know. I told him we’re not gonna talk to him.”

Stewy considers and crosses his legs, taking a bite of the croissant on the table next to him.

“You know what? Tell him we’ll take his information.”

Kendall perks up a bit.

“…yeah?”

Kendall picks up his phone, glad that someone else also thinks it’s a good plan to stay in touch.

“Yeah. But Ken,” Stewy says in his relaxed warning tone. “Don’t tell him anything."

“I won’t.”

After a nap and more quiet prep on the long flight back to New York, Kendall and Stewy meet back up at the entrance to PGN. The weather is getting quite chilly now but they don’t even notice as they go inside. They walk together onto the news floor when the elevator doors open, both in dark suits and feeling exactly as psyched as they’d always imagined they would be.

“Fucking… PGN. Hope they let me out alive,” Kendall chuckles. It’s not even close to his first time on TV, but it’s his first time doing it purely for his own business interests, and it’s certainly his first time on the rival network. He feels a bit untethered. Unleashed.

“Don’t worry. It’s the perfect first stop. We’ll be taken care of,” Stewy says knowingly as they make it into the labyrinth of a studio.

They approach the cameras via a long, dark hallway. The doorway shines blindingly bright light down the center. He fidgets with his notecards as they forge ahead in the weird spotlight.

The light is overwhelming all around them once they get inside. The makeup artists swarm and suddenly powder puffs and combs and chatter surround them both as they sit down in director’s chairs. A stylish and nervous-looking thirty-something PGN producer scurries over and tucks her light brown hair behind her ear as she smiles at Stewy. His eyes are instantly glued to hers. He gives her a serene smile back and Kendall can see her blush a bit.

“Stewy, I’m so glad you’re here,” she says sweetly. “I mean, we all are.” She extends her hand to Kendall. “You’re Kendall! Hi, I’m Lena,” she introduces herself, only briefly taking her eyes off Stewy’s face.

“Hey, yeah. Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

“Ken, Lena’s here to make you seem like you know almost as much as me,” Stewy says smoothly. Lena giggles and Stewy twinkles at her. “She’s brilliant. Taught me everything I know about looking incredible on TV.”

Lena looks pleased and flustered for a second as she reaches back to check the claw clip in her hair.

“Oh, well, you’re a natural.” She gives him a pretty smile and gazes at him again for a second too long before forcing her attention back to the task at hand. “Um, so, I have some talking points for you both from your PR team.” She pulls some printed sheets from her tote bag and hands them to Kendall and Stewy. “Normally we wouldn’t do this, but, you know.” She drops her eyes after such a clear flirty moment. “I’ll let you go over them, and I’ll be right over here if you have any questions. About filming,” she clarifies. “I can’t answer questions about your PR. Obviously,” she laughs a little breathlessly. She turns to walk away and almost trips over a cable before going to stand with the other members of her team on the other side of the room and gazing over not-so-subtly.

Stewy watches her go as his eyes wander from the floor to her hair. Kendall looks over at him.

“Okay. Had to hit PGN first,” he smirks.

“You and your precious optics know this is where we have to start.” Stewy smiles a little. “But, yeah, it helps to have a supportive environment.”

“Uh-huh.” Kendall smiles and feels a pang of missing Rava.

“Anka was too freaked out by everything, you know? Who throws sex parties with severe anxiety issues? Lena’s… you know.”

“Yeah. Very chill,” Kendall deadpans. “She might have a heart attack if she overhears this conversation.”

“She’s like that every time she talks to me. It’s funny. She takes five minutes to type a sentence in a text,” Stewy shrugs. Kendall decides not to point out that Stewy could only know that if he watches the three dots for five minutes.

“Basket cases are your thing,” Kendall chuckles.

“That’s true, Ken, I do like spending time with disastrous people,” Stewy smiles pointedly. “It emphasizes to others how together I am.”

Kendall nods, playing along. It is a little nerve-wracking to think about the high expectations that everyone watching will have of him. Right now, maybe twenty people know what’s going on. In five minutes, it’ll be millions.

“Right. Hang on a second.” Kendall gets up and pulls his phone out of his pocket. He dials Rava and is glad to hear her voice.

“Hey! How’s the interview prep?” she asks.

“Hey. Good,” he confirms. “We’re about to go on. You watching?”

“Of course,” she replies. She’s a little apprehensive about the whole thing. Logan isn’t nice when he’s threatened.

“Good. Good. Hey, tonight can we just do takeout and hideout?”

“Yes. That sounds so good.” She pauses and he's quiet. “You okay? Worried about this?” She’s always advised him to think about the incoming peacefulness after the big event to calm jitters.

“Uh, kind of,” he admits. “I dunno. It’s great but it’s also, like… this makes it real.”

“There you go,” Rava smiles. “It is real.”

“Yeah. Fuck.”

A man wearing a headset pops his head into the side room.

“Two minutes!” he says.

“Thank you,” Kendall answers. “Okay, time to go. Time to make it fuckin’ happen.”

“Good luck!”

Kendall puts his phone in his pocket, walks back into the space and sits down next to Stewy at the desk set. The lights go down around the set and they look at each other in a moment of pure exhilaration. Memories flash through their minds of being seventeen and sneaking liquor in the Roys’ sprawling gardens while discussing their plans to take over the world.

A voice comes from the dark and everyone else goes quiet. Kendall closes his eyes for a second.

“Okay, we’re live in three, two….”

The on-air light lights up.

It’s a new world.

“I’m here with Kendall Roy, former Waystar Royco executive and son of current CEO Logan Roy, and Stewy Hosseini, partner at Maesbury Capital,” the reporter begins. “Kendall, we’ll start with you. You must feel strongly about this to go up against your father this way. What made you do it?”

Kendall focuses every bit of his energy on his response, breathes in, and lets the words he’s been repeating in his mind free.

“My father is a brilliant businessman. A true legend. And what he’s built here is unlike any other corporation in the world. His legacy can never be tarnished. In fact, one of the reasons Stewy and I decided to do this is to preserve it. The old ways of doing things are not viable in today’s world, and I can’t allow the firm to stay still when there’s a race all around it. I have always been of the mind that we need to move forward in order to shepherd Waystar Royco into the new era. I believe our focus on moving more deeply into the tech sector is critical to the success of the company moving forward and I am confident that I am the right person to lead us into the future as CEO.”

“Thank you. It must be an exciting moment for you. But how are things between you and your father?” she asks, clearly even more interested in this answer.

Kendall smiles, but it flickers. He knows this is the part everyone is listening to most closely.

“Uh, you know.” He keeps smiling uneasily into it. “They’re- we’re good. This is just the way things are, business-wise.”

“Great. And Stewy-“

Kendall practically blacks out in his mind while Stewy gets into the financial details. They’re really doing it.

About an hour and a half later, Kendall walks into the apartment and breathes it in for a moment. He’s back and it’s all under way. He walks down the hall toward the family room and Rava, who beckons him over to the couch.

He opens his arms and smiles for a minute on the other side of the room.

“How fucking amazing is this?” he says.

“It actually is,” she says honestly. She can’t believe he’s finally taken a bold step against Logan.

They’re both feeling exhausted after a weekend full of exertion, and he flops down on the couch next to her and nuzzles into her neck for a minute. She smells like fresh conditioner and light perfume.

“What a day you’ve had,” she smiles as he lets himself fall into her lap and she runs her fingers through his hair.

“Yeah. Can’t believe it.” He means it. Things have begun to feel vividly real. His phone buzzes and he pulls it from his pocket and takes a look.

“Text from Roman,” he says. “They’re all at the Hamptons house.” He pauses and feels a bit left out even though he knows it would make no sense for him to be there right now. Before he can say anything else, his phone vibrates again and he almost laughs out loud at the next message.

“Shiv?! Rav, Dad’s having individual meetings and he just called in Shiv. For what? Political advice? Is Roman making this shit up? She said she’s with Gil. She changed her mind already? Well, she’s already fucked herself if she’s going back and forth, politics to business. Dad won’t go for that, right?”

He sits up and stares at his phone.

“Well, you don’t know what he’s thinking. Trying to read his mind isn’t going to work here,” Rava says. “Don’t drive yourself crazy. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

He sighs quietly to himself and realizes that Dad actually is picking a new him this time. It’s just what he’d previously feared with Roman, only now it’s worse. It's Shiv, who is so inexperienced that she might believe Dad would pick someone with no experience. It doesn’t matter, he reminds himself, because he’s going to claim his rightful place. There is no new him.   

But he pictures Shiv in Dad’s Summer Palace office all the same.

He stews over the image for a few minutes. He feels jealous and protective of his little sister at once and struggles to remember to focus his energy on his own plans. A few minutes after Rava goes to have a snack, his phone rings. His skin prickles and his heart races when he sees Dad on his screen. He looks around a bit wildly at first, wondering where Rava is and realizing there’s not enough time. Instinct takes over and he answers it.

“Dad?” he manages.

“Kendall.” Logan’s voice is calm and almost eerily pleasant. “How is it out there in the cold?”

“It’s-“ he tries to speak. “You-you know, Dad, I didn’t want to do what I did- I-“

“I’ve been getting a lot of advice,” Logan starts smoothly, slowly. “Laird… Shiv… anyone with the stones to try to stand up to me tells me I should sell.”

The confusion is clouding Kendall’s previously sharpened mind.

“Uh-huh?”

“I was wondering- what do you think?”

Kendall thinks he can hear electricity crackle.

“Uh- what- what do you mean-“

“Well, you’ve been inside for a while. What do you think I should do?” The mind games are overwhelming.

“W- what is this, a joke? I don’t- Dad, we shouldn’t even be talking-“

“Enough. It was a good move. Now it’s time to come back in.” Kendall can barely believe what he’s hearing.

“What- so you can keep things exactly the same and never do what you promised?” He shakes his head. “No.”

“Oh, cut your self-righteous shit,” Logan thunders. Kendall is intimidated into silence. “We’re gonna fight this. And I want you by my side. The deal is, if you can stop Sandy and Stewy, then I will make you the next chief executive of the firm, like we planned. You’re the one, son.”

Shock reverberates through Kendall’s body. He struggles to collect his thoughts, to breathe properly. When was his last breath? Has it been too long? He suddenly inhales and tries to summon his own words to Roman earlier this morning.

“It- it wasn’t true when you said it before. For eighteen months. For fucking- thirty-two years, you said it, and you took it back.”

“You made a mistake, Ken. With Vaulter. This is my company. I have the right.” Kendall thinks he should argue, then decides against it. But he can’t help himself.

“Vaulter was a solid buy. But sure. You have the right. So why should I believe this?” Part of him is yearning against his will for a definite answer he knows Logan would never give.

“Because now, we’ve got eyes on us. The news fucks, the shareholders. Thanks to you,” Logan grumbles. “Thing is, you know both sides, you have the years." Well, no fucking kidding, Kendall thinks. “This is rare. But you have leverage. Let’s get back to work,” Logan says. Kendall can practically feel the steamrolling and tries to keep himself upright.

He realizes his dad may not trust Roman. Roman knows what was going on with Kendall’s side too, but Logan wants to hear it from Kendall. His head is swirling with thoughts. Is he on speaker? Is everyone listening and waiting to laugh if he says yes? He knows it’s stronger to end the call right now. But… the office. The chair. The respect, the head of the boardroom. The authority, the job, the usefulness. The fulfillment. He nervously grabs the edge of the couch cushion he’s sitting on.

He’s dying to say yes. But even in the face of all the temptation, he knows it could only end in humiliation if he went back. His dad would think of all kinds of ways to make him pay, all kinds of tests, a round of boar on the floor where he’s the only one begging for scraps. Rava’s disappointment, Stewy’s disdain... he can’t do it.

“Dad- I- I really wish I could trust you. I mean, you know I… I just- I can’t.”

Logan’s anger is almost as scary on the phone as it is in person.

“But you can trust Sandy, enemy of this family your whole life? And Stewy, who wouldn’t even go against me in your little board vote? But not me. Not the one who’s given you everything you’ve ever had. Is that right?”

Kendall’s heart is pounding. It’s terrifying, but he’s steeling himself.

“Yes, Dad. I wanted to believe you. But after everything the last couple of months, I can’t.” He takes a deep breath. “This is on my terms now.”

Logan’s voice turns violent. “I’ll grind you into dust. You’ll be nothing. You’ll finally realize it.”

Kendall tries to keep the words out, but they crash around him in waves for a terrible moment. He remembers every late night spent working, the entire year in Shanghai spent doing everything he could to make long-distance work with Rava, the times defending his kids from Logan’s derision, all to be treated like this. He feels the habitual need to remind himself of the good moments too, but hearing what his dad just said makes him stop himself. The fury, the threats, the derogatory comments about his recovery, his family, his strategies. His whole being. He leaves his body for a moment to say it.

“You’re a fuckin’ beast.”

Kendall hangs up and drops his phone onto the couch cushion. His hands are shaking and he knows his voice probably was, too. He nervously walks into the kitchen to find Rava and she tilts her head in a question when she sees him.

“Dad called,” he breathes. “He’s going to fight. But so are we.”

……

That night, they lie in bed in the dark. Blackout curtains have made it velvety dark in their room. They don’t always use the blackouts, but Kendall pressed the button to close them tonight. Rava looks expectantly at the spot she can feel him lying, wondering why he's so far. She reaches her arm out and feels for his head, lightly patting its crown.

“Hey,” she says softly. “What’s going on in here?”

She can hear him open his mouth and exhale.

“Do you think- this is dumb, but, do you think he even likes me? Like, as a person?” He pauses and hesitantly adds, “I don’t think he does.”

“Oh… Ken, of course he does.” She doesn’t know if Logan is capable of liking anyone, but he’s always been pretty obsessed with his son.

“No, I mean, well, thank you for- for saying that but like, really? If someone asked him what my good qualities were, what would he even say?”

“You have so many. You’re kind, you’re creative, you get inspired all the time-“

“But-” he shakes his head in a bit of embarrassment at this incredibly vulnerable moment. He’s glad it’s dark. “But he doesn’t like any of those things.”

“He never leaves you alone,” she says. “Just today, even when, from his perspective, you’ve been trying to destroy him for the last couple of months.”

“That’s not-“

“I know. But from his perspective,” she continues. “He tries to keep you leashed to him all the time. He always has.”

“But that’s like… sick,” Kendall replies uncertainly. “Yeah? That’s weird. People have told me that’s weird.”

They’ve talked about this before, but it’s been a few years. She remembers this kind of talk with less fondness than many of their other conversations.

“Yes. It’s weird. I mean, he isn’t normal or healthy. Obviously,” she lets out a mirthless chuckle. “But as much as he is capable of liking someone, I think he likes you.” Kendall is quiet, which is what he does when he sort of disagrees but doesn’t know how to argue. “He must like that you tend see the future in business.”

“I’m not sure that’s true.” Kendall wrings his hands at the thought of Vaulter being in his father’s power.

“It is! When have you ever been wrong about what direction to go in?” He’s quiet again, this time because there’s no counterargument. “You can’t argue that he likes that you have a sense of things!”

He can’t cheer for himself.

“I have a feeling he likes that quality more in other people than he likes it in me.” He lies there thinking of the people who don’t like him. The Canadians, the Vaulter staff, the art people… Roman? Shiv? He doesn’t say anything else but Rava can feel it.

The depth of his insecurity shouldn’t surprise her anymore, but it breaks her heart a little when it becomes so clear. She moves closer to him and lays her hand on his chest. She wants to tell him the validation from his father doesn’t matter, but she thinks when she’s said something for nearly two decades and it hasn’t sunk in, it might be time to give him what he wants instead of what he needs. Tonight, she can tell him a good truth instead of a hard one.

“You know he sees you as competition. Who else does he ever go toe-to-toe with? Hmm? And there is nothing your dad likes more than a completely insane business competition.”

She feels the vibration of a smile from him.

“Well, I can’t argue with that.”

“Yeah!” She says more cheerfully, grateful that her point landed. “You give him what he really wants. I actually think you might be the one person who doesn’t bore him.”

He considers that.

“I just… feel… this is going to ensure that he’ll never really trust me again. Like, I used to be his go-to. For everything.” Remembering the good moments he'd held off before makes him want to call Logan and tell him he wants to come back.

“I know," Rava says. "Don't forget what he did though-“ she uses a softer tone- “the takeover wasn’t the thing that changed his mind. He made the decision when he took back the announcement. And he did fire you. All i'm saying is you're not losing a close relationship right now. At the very least, you know he respects this."

He says nothing while he thinks over all of her ideas. He hears how negative he’s being and brings up something positive so she won’t think he’s a wet blanket.

“I guess… it’s true, he’s never accused me of boring him.”

“See? There you go. Come here.” She reaches for him and he rolls into her arms. She's glad it’s over and that she’s partially scrubbed the negative thoughts from his head for the night. His forehead rests on her shoulder as he wonders whether he should try to say what the even deeper problem is.

“It’s kind of fucking… hollow even if we win, though. If he never gives it to me, you know… if he never thought I could do it.”

His words float in the darkness for a moment.

“It would still be achieving what you’ve always wanted.”

“Well. You know, there were kind of two parts to what I wanted.”

“Yeah,” she says a little sadly.

“I- I know you think it shouldn’t matter,” he says hesitantly.

“I just wish it didn’t matter,” Rava says. They go quiet as she drapes her arm over him.

He’s had parts of this conversation with her and others over the years, with varying degrees of empathy reflected back. But this part has always been where no one could come with him, where no one hears him, no one understands.

…….

A few days later, Roman saunters up behind Kendall and Rava as they walk through the amusement park keeping an eye on Sophie and her friends at her birthday party.

“I’m here as a spy, in case you were wondering,” Roman announces. “Just here to check out whether Dad has anything to worry about. Obviously he doesn’t with this fucker in charge!” he adds loudly.

Rava shoots him a look.

“Dude,” Kendall sighs. The kids are here.

“Can we talk about what Sandy’s thinking the next steps are?” Roman asks impatiently.

“I’m here to enjoy my daughter’s birthday party. We’ll talk later.” Kendall glances at Rava for her approval. She’s glad to hear it even though she knows his head is full of strategy.

Sophie runs over and flings her arms around Kendall’s waist. He squeezes her and meets her eyes as she looks up at him.

“Can we make the wagon go faster?” she asks him. Kendall looks at the ride attendant as he adjusts his scarf. It’s getting colder outside.

“Is that possible?” he inquires. Rava leans in to talk to the attendant.

“No, no.” She looks at Sophie. “Honey, let’s stay safe, okay? We’re going to keep all the rides at their normal speeds.”

Sophie pouts for a moment and runs back to her friends. Rava follows to keep an eye on things and Roman smirks at Kendall.

“So, it must be fun to have no authority at home, no authority at work, you’re killin’ it!”

“You don’t understand responsibility,” Kendall replies dully.

“Nope, never been for me. I do understand having a personality though, which you have clearly lost!” He points at his brother for emphasis and is disappointed by his lack of reaction. “Hey, do you think Sophie thinks it’s weird that her grandpa isn’t at her birthday party?”

“Why, because he’s been so involved in his grandchildren’s lives before this?” Kendall almost smiles.

Roman snickers a little regretfully and they share a moment of dry humor.

“You know Shiv and Tom are here, keeping their distance.” Roman jerks his head behind him and to the left. Kendall looks alarmed.

“Uh, what? No. Is that- I mean, is she cool right now? What’s the deal with her and Dad?”

“I don’t fucking know, Tom’s here to be a freak and look at what he doesn’t have to deal with anymore because Firecrotch got him promoted to run the most important branch of the company,” Roman scoffs. Kendall glances back and calms down. They can’t do anything here.

“Well- I mean, it’s not really surprising that Tom’s at ATN now. Like… that figures.”

Roman’s eyes dance.

“Because he understands our ‘agricultural viewers?’” he says mockingly.

“Because he might actually believe some of that shit.”

“I believe that shit,” Roman says sardonically.

“You shouldn’t tell people that,” Kendall shoots back.

They are both glad for Connor’s interruption.

“Hey, hey! It's the traitor son," he says sarcastically. Roman snickers and Kendall grimaces. "Kenny, I got Sophie a few books I think she’d like to read. Counteract some of that propaganda they’re teaching her at Chapin.”

“Uh-huh. Okay, thanks Con,” Kendall says, letting it go. Roman jumps in.

“Do you think, maybe, you’re seen as susceptible to conspiracies because people see a weirdo living in the desert-“

“Oh, Romey, I love when you express your love for me,” Connor ruffles Roman’s hair and Roman makes a face as Connor walks away. Kendall stares over at Shiv and Tom, now joined by Greg.

“So… Greg talked to me at the wedding,” he starts slowly to gauge Roman’s reaction. He takes a deep breath. “I think he’s got something on Waystar.”

“What? For real? Like what?”

“I dunno- something with cruises. Maybe wolf pack stuff?”

A pained look crosses Roman’s face and he smooths his button-down under his coat.

“He doesn’t know shit.”

“I- I think he does, actually. He might have paperwork. I’m just saying, keep an eye on him, okay?” Kendall suggests.

“Blech. I don’t want to look at him. But fine.” Roman and Kendall both pause to watch Greg from afar.

“Uh, hey, can we be real for a second? Like, just sibs for a sec?” Kendall starts.

“That’s gonna be a no, but you’re going to say whatever overthought nonsense you have anyway.”

“Would you work at Waystar if not for Dad?” Kendall asks.

“Actually, I’d be the most highly-paid gigolo in the country and would laugh at your paltry c-suite millions. Or, like, your mailroom paychecks, which is much more accurately where you’d be without Dad.”

Kendall sighs.

“So, no,” Kendall prompts.

“No. What? I don’t know. Maybe. Who gives a shit? Who’s asking?”

“Me, dude. Relax. It’s not a trick.”

“So, what, you would work here without Dad?” Roman asks defensively.

“Honestly, yeah,” Kendall answers. “I think I’m good at it.”

“I think that’s up for debate.“

“Well, it’s not.” Kendall wishes he could ask Roman if Logan has ever mentioned his abilities, but he knows it would result in mockery instead of actual information. He drops the subject, but he knows Roman gets what it’s like to want Dad’s love and respect- Roman is even willing to spend his time doing a job he doesn’t care about in order to try to gain it- and that knowledge lightens the weight on his shoulders a bit.

…….

Kendall’s phone beeps and interrupts his call with Stewy. He checks and it’s Roman’s name.

“The fucking- informant is calling again,” he almost chuckles.

“Be careful, Ken,” Stewy warns before ending the call.

Kendall switches to the new call and hears that Roman’s voice is hushed and tense.

“Ken, Dad is deciding what to do about Vaulter right now.” He nervously paces around the hallway by the waiting area outside Logan’s office.

“What- what do you mean, like he might kill it?”

“He’s torturing me with questions about you and Sandy and Stewy.”

“Okay. Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but no one made you go back to him… what- what about Vaulter?”

“He doesn’t fucking like it but he could save it?” He brushes his hand along the back of the leather couch and then waves his arm around with his next sentence. “I don’t fucking know, you’re the one who threw all our pretty, pretty money at something for Dad’s approval-“

“Vaulter was a solid business decision. And you don’t care about Dad’s approval? Secretly calling me. Taking his shit. Okay.” He decides saving Vaulter is more important than making his point and refocuses. “Well, look, I think Dad is wrong, and Vaulter deserves a chance. I mean, yeah, Lawrence probably inflated their numbers, so, hire some accounting consultants, send them over, show your face. Be the hero.” He hates the idea of Roman looking like the savior for his company, but he hates the idea of losing it more.

“Or I could lay off two hundred people and triumphantly march back to my ivory tower. Maybe I could hire them to build me a new ivory tower. What’s minimum wage now, like 600K?”

“Or you should listen to me because I know the full situation and actually want to build something there.”

“Riiiight, you’re so selfless and altruistic. So inspiring,” Roman says. “Seriously, 600K, can you imagine trying to live on that?” Kendall ignores him.

“Dude. This is for you, too. When you’re COO, you’ll be glad you have their content and their interface, their readers. Trust me on this.” Roman asked what to do, but he doesn’t always like getting what he wants. “So- does he want you to go in? See Lawrence?”

“Of course he does. Tomorrow at 11:00.”

“Are you-? Don’t make me look like an asshole, man. You can save this.” Kendall squirms at the thought of Roman in his territory, making disgusting jokes and talking shit about him.

“Don’t worry about me meeting with him, I’m much more charming and likable than you,” Roman says drily. Kendall rolls his eyes and wonders why Lawrence doesn’t like him.  “Okay, back to being the only son Daddy loves!”

Roman hangs up and Kendall drums his fingers on the arm of the chair and gets up to find Rava.

“Hey,” he calls into the great room. “I think Dad might be doing something insane. He wants to shut down Vaulter, our only chance into the twenty-first century… eighteen years late, but, you know, it’s Dad.”

“Can you save it?” she asks as he enters the room and sits down.

“Uh, well. I don’t know. He’s got Roman on it tomorrow. He wouldn’t tell me if he’s going to destroy it. I worked on that acquisition for months!” He throws his hand up exasperatedly.

“Well, don’t just let him take it down then. Go with him and stop him!”

“Dad would never allow that, so-“

“You know, you don’t have to worry about what your dad would allow anymore.” He thinks for a second. “It’s going to be your company, isn’t it? Are you going to let the current CEO shutter a valuable asset that you’ll need when you take over? Would you let that happen with any other acquisition?”

He gives her a little smile.

“I missed this,” he says. “You’re always right.”

He goes to sit next to her and leans in to kiss her. Her hand brushes the back of his head and he puts his forehead on hers for a second, reconnecting after the energy given to everything else.

“How’s your day going?” he asks. “Has work improved much?”

She slumps into the couch and leans against him.

“Not really,” she answers drearily. “It’s all so shrouded in darkness. I can’t believe there are companies that operate like this.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know how you work in this world.”

He tries not to take the comment personally.

“Well… Waystar doesn’t do shit like steal wages and kidnapping or whatever.”

She raises her eyebrows and his voice gets a defensive tone.

“Not now. Not while I’ve worked there, Rav, you know that.”

“Yeah. I’m-“ she sighs. “Sorry- I don’t know. I feel bad failing at this. If this guy never comes home, it’s because I couldn’t find him. If there’s no justice for all these workers… I guess I just wish I were a better lawyer.”

Kendall never hears her express doubt in herself. It takes him a second to process and respond.

“Hey, that’s not fair to you. You’re going to figure this out. I’ll try whatever I can to help. And-“ he hesitates. “Would it be so bad to ask Robert?”

“Oh, so you don’t have to call your dad when you have a business problem, but I have to call my step-dad?” she gently mocks.

“Okay. I mean, sure, obviously I get it, but he probably knows someone.”

“From his Wall Street acquisition world? They wouldn’t know about this.”

“I dunno, maybe he knows someone who does.”

She shrugs.

“I’ll think about it.”

��…

Lawrence looks worriedly at Kendall.

“It’s all for real, man,” Lawrence asserts. “You made a good decision buying us, I mean, from your perspective. I’ll do what it takes to keep it going.” He pauses. “What do you honestly think is going to happen here?”

“I’m of the opinion Dad can be persuaded he’s making a mistake,” Kendall says intensely. Roman looks at him warily. He’s not sure what the right answer is and Kendall can tell. “But you gotta work with me. Okay? Trust me.”

Lawrence nods like he knows it’s not up to him and Kendall walks up toward the front of balcony area of the Vaulter floor, overlooking all the people below, and begins his speech. Roman stands behind Kendall and zones out his words while he observes the expressions on all the workers’ faces. They’re not loving it but they also have no choice.

“Vaulter is the future of this company,” Kendall’s saying. Roman glances at Lawrence and he catches him. Roman gives an awkward nod and lets out a silent sigh. Kendall’s eyes flit to Roman for some support in the cold room. Roman makes a subtle face at him and Kendall gets back on track.

“If I fuck this up, I’m done forever,” he announces to the crowd. Roman fights the urge to cheer and get a laugh. He wonders how Kendall can possibly be so sincere saying such a dramatic sentence. Vaulter’s not the only game in town, Roman thinks. Another one would come along. Kendall’s winding it down now.

“Tough times. All pull together. Trust. Trust me. Any questions?” Roman can practically hear the crickets. Kendall steps down from the chair, a little shaken at the negative reception. Low chatter resumes in the room and Roman gives Kendall a sardonic smirk.

“Wow, they fucking love you here, you were definitely the right choice to make that speech. Then again, I’m still cool and they all hate you more than ever, so-“

“I’m saving their fucking jobs,” Kendall mutters. Roman giggles and walks away. Even if it’s the right thing, he doesn’t want to make it easy. “You understand that’s what this is, right?” Kendall calls after his brother. “I’m serious.” He catches up to Roman. “You want to strategize tonight? We have a lot of work to do. Obviously you’ll have to send me some shit so I can do it from home since I can’t be here normally. But-“

“I’m actually having a dinner party tonight that you’re not invited to, so-“

“What?”

Roman looks annoyingly satisfied at Kendall’s confusion.

“Yeah, Tabs and I are having Shiv and Tom to dinner.” Kendall feels a flash of envy and disappointment not to be included with Rava in a couples’ dinner party for his siblings.

“Uh, okay.” He tries to justify. “Well, you- you can’t be seen with me anyway, so.”

“You know Dad’s going to know you came here today and that we were seen together.” The justification dissolves and Kendall shrugs it off and tries to put a teflon wall around himself, allowing his eyes to get a little darker.

“Tell him I went rogue.”

……

Kendall squishes into his favorite armchair in the family room, glancing at the fireplace while he idly listens to Stewy complain over the phone.

“When were you going to consult with me on making a speech to all of Vaulter, Ken?” he asks, clearly annoyed. “How does that look? How am I supposed to explain this?”

“It’s going to look like I’m taking over this company and care what happens to it. It makes sense.”

“You standing with Roman the ‘loyal son’ and speaking from a joint perspective. That makes sense?”

“Yes. It does. I can’t trust Roman to take care of things. Dad leans toward killing it. If Roman feels the heat, he’ll fold. He’d fire them all tomorrow if he thought it would get him a pat on the head.”

Stewy sighs.

“This isn’t your favorite kind of, like, nice, pleasant acquisition where you have lunch and discuss your joint business dreams.” Stewy tries to sound authoritative but he smiles a little at the vast difference in how he and Kendall do business. “Not to sound like your dad,” he shudders, “but this is war. It cannot look like you might still be talking to him or your brother. No more of this.”

“You know we need Vaulter, Stew.”

“Figure it out without being buddy-buddy with the fucking enemy. I don’t want to be destroyed on CNBC tomorrow and I’m sick of being questioned by Sandy. You still need him, don’t forget that.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Kendall goes back to looking over the piles of Vaulter documents in front of him and slips on his glasses. He only wears them when it’s absolutely necessary, but Rava loves when she catches a glimpse. She steps into the doorway, head tilted and subtle smile on her face as she watches him focus. He looks up and takes the glasses off.

“Hi,” he says.

“Oh, you’re so cute in those, put them back on,” she says as she walks closer.

“No.”

“Well, you never know when you're cute.” He looks down and tries not to smile. “See, right now.” She steps between his chair and the desk, leaning back against it as she surveys him, and puts the glasses back on him. “Sexy econ professor," she laughs. "Tell me about the stock market.”

He laughs and shakes his head. She tucks her hair behind her ears and leans over him.

“How’s the New York Stock Exchange?” she whispers.

He looks down her open blouse.

“Uh, pretty hot. I'm the professor? Okay. I'll teach you. Waystar is actually doing better than I-”

“Ooh, I heard those Waystar guys are rich,” she purrs in his ear. He takes off the glasses again and puts them down.

“You heard right,” he says, completely straight-faced this time as he pulls her into his lap for a sexy kiss. “All the diamonds you want if you come to office hours.”

“And if I want time?” She smiles into his lips and swats in the direction of his laptop. He reaches over and closes it.

“Probably more than you want,” he chuckles.

“Good. Well, Mom and Robert are expecting us at 7:00, so… we should go in a few minutes. So much better than a stupid dinner party with your siblings all night,” she says in a light tone as she stands up, knowing the party is bothering him enough that he insisted they go to her parents’ house this very weekend. He nods, wondering again why Roman and Shiv don’t hang out with him more. He remembers Roman essentially saying he liked being close to him a few days ago and feels guilty for letting him dangle in that conversation while he was mad. He wonders if that’s the real reason he wasn’t invited.

“Yeah. Let me just-“

“Don’t make me explain to him why we’re late, come onnnn.” She pulls him up playfully and he extricates himself before putting his hands on her upper arms and looking into her eyes.

“I will be done in ten minutes,” he promises.

“Ha! Sure you will. Just remember this trip was your idea, so if we’re late, you are dealing with any and all fallout.”

“Okay. I could be almost done by now. I’ll be out in-“

“Ten minutes,” they say in unison. Rava smiles and walks out.

……..

When the heavy wooden door of the elegant stone Greenwich home swings open, Kendall is immediately enveloped in Rava’s mom’s arms, squished in with Rava and the kids behind them and feeling the stress being squeezed away. Years of memories flood back in in the best way, of his first happy Christmas with Rava’s family at age 23, the time a year later when Rava had run into the house ahead of him squealing to her mom about her new engagement ring, the first time they brought both kids to visit and swelled with pride. This house has been a sweet escape for Kendall his whole adult life. Every time Logan had hurt his pride or his self-esteem, he had found himself again with the other side of his family. He closes his eyes for a few moments, taking in the kindness and calm of the house he had missed for the last three years.

When Cheryl finally lets go, she puts her hand on Kendall’s face.

“Look at you. You’re still thirty. Men have it so easy,” she laughs with Rava and he shakes his head. She grabs him again and pats his back. “Ohhh, I missed you.” She looks at her daughter and grandchildren. “He’s such a good hugger. I almost forgot how cute he is.” Rava and Kendall smile.

“It’s true,” Rava agrees.

“Okay,” he laughs at the way he'd forgotten they compliment him like he isn't there. “Thank you, I missed you, too. I’m so glad to be back. Seriously, you have no idea.” Cheryl pats his hand and turns her attention to Sophie and Iverson.

“My babies! You’re getting so big,” she coos.

“Grandma!” Sophie excitedly jumps up and down and Iverson smiles.

“Come eat!” Cheryl beckons to the dining room and takes the kids’ hands as she leads them to the kitchen. Kendall and Rava head in to find Rava’s stepdad setting his glass at his place. Robert seems even taller than he usually does in his own home, authority and confidence emanating from him in a similar yet less menacing way as Logan.

“Sweetheart,” he says to Rava, coming over to kiss her cheek. “Good you’re here for the weekend.” He turns to Kendall. “Ken, son!” he booms. “Get over here.” Kendall's glad to hear that he's still considered family but his heart beats a little faster as he walks over for what feels like a bit of a test. “I hear you’ve got it all together these days,” Robert says, glancing down his nose as he commends and warns at once.

“That’s right,” Kendall affirms, a little tension creeping up as he worries he hasn’t been accepted back in. “Here to stay,” he adds, trying to sound confident. Robert lingers in eye contact for exactly two seconds before moving on.

“That’s what we like to hear!” He claps him on the back and Kendall breathes a sigh of relief. “Now let’s hear every detail of this fucking bear hug. It’s daring. I like that. Cheryl, do we have something besides scotch and wine in this house?”

“Oh, it’s fine-“ Kendall starts.

“Well, of course we do,” Cheryl rolls her eyes as she glides back in, already ready with Perrier and French grapefruit soda. The kids trail her and sit down at their places. She musses Robert’s hair as she passes him and sets the bottles in the middle of the table. “Divina made the most incredible cedar plank salmon for tonight, it’ll blow your mind.”

“It smells great,” Rava says.

“And mac ’n’ cheese for my adorable grandchildren,” she continues. The kids dig in as soon as the cook places the food on the table.

“So! Let’s hear it. Taking on the titan, huh?” Robert asks.

“Uh, yeah, well- it- it obviously was not my ideal plan, but it’s pretty much necessary. My dad-“ he sighs. “It’s just- time for the new generation to take over.”

“True enough, some of us know when to retire! Someone’s got to keep the golf clubs in business. Now for the good stuff- Vaulter!” Kendall knew the M&A lawyer would want all the juicy details about the acquisition.

“My dad wants it gone- I hear,” Kendall starts. “I guess he wants to sell but, you know, if things go right, he won’t be in charge for much longer, so I’m planning to save it. It’s hard from the outside, but I won’t be outside for long.”

“You gave a speech I hear,” Robert smirks.

“That got out, huh?” Kendall asks a little nervously. “Well, I did, yeah. They need to know where we stand. Can’t have them unionizing, it’s for their own good. Dad would shut that down so fast. But we’re gonna have an amazing company culture, like, they’re going to be bragging to their friends about how incredible things are for them. They think they have it good now with a few ping-pong tables. Just wait til I have a chance to do things right. The guys on twelve in our building are pumped about all the changes I made happen. Even the breakfast food. They actually specifically told me so.”

Rava smiles to herself. She likes when the passion spills out of the buttoned-up persona he keeps up.

“Mmhmm. I do see you at the helm,” Robert looks him over and nods approvingly. Rava knows what it means for Kendall to hear that.

“Thank you." He looks genuinely touched and Rava wonders if he's heard that at all since the position was offered to him a year and a half ago.

“Rava!” Robert calls. “Let’s hear some good case news.” Kendall glances at her uneasily.

“You probably should have done me first,” she says jokingly while still accidentally managing to come off as preemptively defensive toward him. “Well,” she begins, “the case I’m still working on is- a unique challenge. Some international corporate stuff. But it’s going all right,” she fibs.

“Nothing you can’t figure out if you put real effort in,” he says. She wonders if she’s being too sensitive or if the implication that she isn’t trying was really there. “What’s wrong with it?” he asks. She gives him a look like he should know better than to ask for case details and he rolls his eyes. “I’ll sign whatever you need, just spill it,” he orders. Kendall watches her dissolve a little as she glances down at the table and gives in and he grimaces for a moment. It doesn’t occur to him that this is what she’s watched happen to him all their lives.

“Um, well, the resorts don’t keep very clear paperwork- I’m sure that’s not an accident- and they make it pretty difficult to get it. I need evidence of settlements for past wage theft whisteblowers to prove this is a pattern of behavior.” She blinks and avoids Robert’s eyes. “But they operate out of these remote island places and it’s been hard to get in touch with anyone in management to get the evidence I need…?” She hates that she probably sounds like she’s not working hard enough. “And I’ve subpoenaed but, obviously, that doesn’t work if everyone’s MIA.” She takes a long sip of her chardonnay, dreading the response.

“Well, if you can’t figure it out yourself, you should grab that Gerri Kellman for a consult,” Robert asserts. Rava’s shoulders tense up. “If Waystar’s still running, it’s because she’s kept ‘em all out of prison,” he laughs. “No offense, Ken.”

“Uh…” Kendall starts. “Well, I, you know, to a point, I agree,” he says, hoping to keep things smooth and take the unwanted attention off of Rava and the case. “There have been some problems with some bad actors within the company. I’m going to affect a lot of change in the culture when I’m CEO. The culture that my dad has allowed is actually toxic. And I’m coming to change that.” He looks at Rava. “But, Rava wouldn’t talk to Gerri while we’re in the middle of this- that would be a disaster.” He looks back at Robert and she feels queasy. “But I’m sure between the two of us, we could get a list of some fuckin’ superstars she could talk to, yeah?”

“You said a bad word!” Sophie cries, looking up from her dinner.

“Oh, sh- uh, yeah. Sorry, Soph.” Sophie goes back to eating and not paying attention.

Normally Rava would laugh at Sophie’s occasional tendency to chastise her dad about little things, but this time, she’s caught on something else. She’d almost forgotten that she’d called Gerri at all in all the chaos of the last few days and hadn’t gotten around to mentioning the conversation to Kendall. Now she thinks she’d better not.

“Mmhmm,” Robert responds. “I’ll get a list going of people you can consult with.”

“I mean, it’s going fine, but- sure.” Rava nods with a tight smile to her stepdad. “Thank you,” she adds. She doesn’t mind when Kendall offers to help because she knows how happy it makes him to feel useful and needed. But when Robert helps, she worries that it comes from doubt rather than encouragement. But either way, in this particular situation, she knows she needs it.

Later that evening, Kendall comes back into their guest bedroom from brushing his teeth and enjoys the low golden light coming from one of the Tiffany lamps on the nightstand by Rava. She watches him and thinks he looks physically lighter on his feet after the compliments and encouragement he got tonight. She feels a bit flattened herself. She slides her hands over her face and makes a mental note to say extra nice things to the kids tomorrow. Being criticized really messes people up, she thinks, considering Kendall’s and her different but related experiences. He sits down on the side of the bed and drops his button-up off his shoulders. Rava reaches up from her position lying in bed and traces her fingers from one freckle to the next on his back. She wants to be close.

“I love these,” she says. They’re peacefully quiet for a moment as she continues. “You’re getting them checked every year though, right?”

He chuckles.

“Yes. You’re so my wife.” She smiles and keeps gently rubbing her fingers over his back as he closes his eyes.

“That feels so nice.” He drops his head back and leans back into her touch.

“Don’t put anything else on,” she whispers.

He nods before turning to lie down right next to her and pull her close into a tight hug. He feels solid, warm, safe. She tucks her head into the crook of his neck and relaxes, relishing how soft his skin is there.

“Mmm, you are a good hugger,” she whispers. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he smiles. “I’m so glad we’re here.” He slides his hands up the back of her t-shirt.

“Feel better?” she asks.

“I’m about to,” he mumbles into her skin as he rolls her on top of him.

“We’ll have to be quiet,” she says mischievously.

He gives her a cocky smile.

“Yeah? Good luck with that.”

Chapter 13 💗

[cressthebest]

Art Heist, Baby! thoughts pt. 14

we’re nearing the end yall and i’m getting HELLA nervous. five chapters left. and reg is gonna die. i’m not ready

chapter 34:

1. the mulciber swap went perfect. still nervous though

2. the heist is almost over. and they’re all splitting up to go places. i don’t think i can handle this

3. god, it’s the lucius swap. i don’t think it’s gonna go well. i’m so worried

4. “Regulus cleared his throat. “I just want to say that it had been a privilege and an honour to conduct this heist with all of you. Each of you are brilliant individuals and I couldn’t have asked for a better team.”” sobbing so badly rn. horrifically sobbing. oh my god. the death must be this chapter. it feels all like a final goodbye, and it probably is for reg

5. reg wants to fix his relationship with sirius over a hundred cups of coffee. that sounds so nice

6. reg is looking forward to attending sirius and remus’ wedding! and he’s surprised that sirius wants him there. this. this all feels so foreboding

7. god. they’re face to face with tom riddle. this isn’t gonna end well. i can feel it

8. it was a set up. all reg gets to say is “james run” and then there’s bullets. i almost don’t want to read the rest of the chapter. i don’t even think i’m gonna cry. just quiet resignation. i will be fine. i fucking called it last post tho, saying it would be tom riddles fault.

9. oh gosh. reg is dying right there on the floor, blood pooling in his lungs and he’s telling james not to be scared

10. i was a fool. of course i’m sobbing. i sent my freind a two minute long voice recording while sobbing about how sad i was over the death. they can confirm, though i’m not asking them to

11. reg gives james his ring. oh fuck

12. dying by tom riddles’ hands. drowning in his own blood. of course he dies by drowning

13. on another note, i’m sure that james’ gun kink is very much gone

14. “It wasn’t the amount of blood that had accumulated all over the floor that convinced James that Regulus was dead.

Or the fact that Regulus had stopped the gurgling and wheezing noises several minutes ago as he drifted into cruel stillness.

It wasn’t Barty’s tear stained and blood splattered face. Or Evan’s desperate attempts to shake Regulus awake. It wasn’t even Peter’s sorrowful look upon checking for a pulse. Or his frantic attempts to do CPR anyway.

It was Sirius’ agonised wails as he pleaded and called out to a God he never believed in to spare his brother. To bring him back. “I just got him back,” Sirius screamed. “I just got him back. Please. Don’t do this. Please bring him back. I just got him back.””

this fucking fic i swear to god

15. everyone else is dead, thanks to evan and barty. for once, i agree with their unhinged. it was a slaughter of men on the other side, and i am glad. they are dead, and they don’t even deserve it. they deserve a life of torture for what they did. thank fucking god they’re dead tho. it makes me rest easy

they were supposed to get a house with green or red shutters and get married and travel the world and make tea and orange muffins and snog in art museums and visit their freinds and be happy and in love and never live a mundane life cause they’re rich and together. but NO. it has to all get ruined

im not okay, thank you for asking. i will never be okay, thank you for asking. i never want to be okay again, stop asking.