#everyone reading: you know you don't have to go-

[xitsensunmoon]

My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)

The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!

Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.

The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)

Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c

As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!

And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.

I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.

Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)

[the-tarot-witch22]

First impression of your future spouse on you! - Pick a pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2

Pile 3

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!

Pile 1

The cards I got for you (8 of wands, 8 of swords, knight of cups, 4 of wands, Strength and the 7 of cups)

Love at first sight kind of scenario like you know it's them and no questions asked, that's the first thing i felt when i started your reading, You will think of your future spouse as someone who is seductive asf and very charming, like such tired eyes, or they may have some aura of mysteriousness about them, They will be very foreign to you btw, definitely not your usual type but not in a bad way, i feel some of you might also judge them based on their appearance, like some of you might say they have that player aura or their looks are like that, I see you and them talking to each other or taking steps towards each other since the attraction will be very mutual, They will be quick or have rapid movements they maybe very fast talker or quite chatty with you they like to be quick in the decisions of their life or even with small things they don't like to waste their time, for some of you it says they can be anxious or looking troubled which goes with them having tired eyes, at first, you will think of them as someone who can be very good people, or they know how to handle the crowd lol, opposite to you but in a good way, I also see them dancing with their friends or enjoying or talking loudly, and you will just see the real them and how adorable they are, They will make a quite a first impression on you, like keeping you interested vibes, they like you and they will make sure you know, some of you may fall their intense gaze their eyes plays very important role, for some of you your future spouse will have a impression of an optimistic or a very jolly person, they might also own something luxurious or can be you, you will see your future spouse as someone who takes stands for someone or defends people, for some of you your thoughts will change a lot when you get to know them, they can be misunderstood by a lot of people, I also feel they will smile a lot with you or stealing glances at you across the room, which will make your stomach flutter with butterflies, and you would just want to go and kiss the heck out of them. They will make you fall hard for them just like they have for you. They will be quite masculine or has the nice toned body, For some of you their eyes can be fiery which will turn you on. Your future spouse may come to you and offer you something to drink or eat with them, like offering you choices they won't know what you like so they will give you options lol. For some of you your future spouse will be someone who hesitates to make a decision like you see them and they will be confused on what to order not a bad thing lol, so cute.

Pile 2

The cards I got for you (7 of pentacles, Page of wands, 9 of pentacles, page of pentacles and the moon)

You will think of your future spouse as someone who is very hardworking and independent, like they will be a type of person who depict hardworking energy like the type of person who works a lot, you also might think they are workaholic and very focused and determined type of energy, but they are not spoiled brat whatever they have in terms of money its self made and by their hard work, some of you might like their dressing sense, they look very well dressed or have nice sense of fashion which you will love, They have very balanced masculine and divine energy, and they are very confident in their body which you will think is absolutely sexy, they will seem very creative and passionate person, they will seem very well put like stable financially they will exclude that ceo vibe might be their clothes, they have nice taste, they even make less priced clothes seem luxurious lol, i feel they can be average to tall height, wavy hairs for some of you, I also feel they will use some hair gel or something when you come across them, they have small or almond eyes, soft skin or nice skin texture, i feel some of you will enjoy how they will give you their attention, literally hot, for some of you your spouse will be very private about their life unless you get to know them, they have had people who have used them or taken advantage of them so they now are a bit cautious around people or who they let in, your future spouse will also show their emotions on their face, like if they are angry , jealous it will show on their face and body language even if they won't tell you, you and them will transform each other's lives, I feel when they see you they will first know you and then after years or sometime in your relationship together they will propose to you, they want you to give the love and time.

Pile 3

The cards I got for you (The tower, temperance, the moon, the fool, 6 of wands, 4 of pentacles and the empress)

Older aura, like they will look wise at first glance, they have had their fair share of past and which has made them very wise in their life, like father or mother figure, that's how you will see them. they can be quite older than you or more mature than you, they might have very slight wrinkles if they are older or got that forehead lines, Some of you your future spouse will look chaotic or has a chaotic energy at first when you meet them, I also feel your future spouse past has made them very balanced and they have grown very much as a person, they forgive and tend to be the bigger person, as i said they are quite mature, but they distance themselves from the person or people who are not serving them, They look new ways to earn money or be stable they ant to be very stable in their life, they are quite ambitious and passionate too, just like pile two, this pile future spouse can be quite mysterious or private, they also might have intense face or intimidating face, but in reality they are sweet potato lol, In their life they have gone through so many transformations in their life, you will also think of your future spouse who is as very protective and possessive not in a toxic way, but they don't like to share what's their, They can look quite adventurous or someone who likes to take risks, an young at hear person, they might like animals or cats, you will admire your spouse at very first glance because of their charming beauty, they look quite attractive, your type, little by little you will see their caring and nurturing side, when you both meet it will be a very harmonious type of meeting, and you will start seeing signs, you will see your future spouse as your lucky charm and so will they, you both will help each other grow too.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[mins-fins]

the cure

&&. mark shows up to your place bleeding red, and red is your least favorite color.

pairing: mark lee x gn!reader

genre: fluff, spiderman!mark & student nurse!reader

warnings: descriptions of injuries, blood, and violence

word count: 1.3k

notes: this was supposed to come out yesterday but i had the worst migraine and literally ended up passing out 😆 its okay though the grind never stops!! this little bit (spiderman + med student) was originally supposed to be longer and it might still be longer form i just cant begin that right now 😓 okay everyone have a good day and dont get a migraine like isa

mark, for some reason, feels guilty.

his guilt manifests in the blood that trickles down his side, the cut digs into his heart, rips it out, and stomps on it. the figurative scars hurt more than the literal one, and though the pain is excruciating, he feels much more disappointed than anything.

jeez that guy did him bad, he didn't know pocket knives could do that much damage, he was just trying to go about his night on that skyscraper, but of course, something had to happen.

since when do robbers carry knives? he probably won't be able to get over that for a while.

but mark doesn't allow for himself to stumble, he doesn't need for things to become worse. though he would usually just go home and try to deal with the cuts himself, he instead brings himself to another apartment, sitting outside on the balcony of a familiar room.

he peaks over, pressing his face against the window. he raises his fist and softly knocks on the glass, alerting the person inside of his presence. you turn around upon hearing the noise, a muted gasp escaping your lips as you rush towards the window to open it.

"mark? oh my god are you— jesus".

mark simply gives a dorky smile, no teeth, and you usher him in, supporting him as he slumps down the moment he enters your room. "is this a bad time?" he manages to ask, biting back his wince as he feels your finger lightly grace the wound on his hip, the blood smearing onto your hand.

"no, it's just.." you pause, collecting yourself as you stare at the crimson belonging to mark. "i'll be right back" you rush towards the bathroom, and mark watches each of you movements.

after washing your hands, you return with a first aid kit and warm wet cloth, mark immediately smiles once he hears your footsteps. "alright, let's bandage you up now" you whisper, again kneeling to mark's level as you examine the cut.

there's a slit in mark's suit where the cut resides, a nauseating gash that makes even you, a nurse in training, grimace. you tilt your head to the side, lips pursued as you focus on bandaging mark up, not wanting for it to get infected.

mark closes his eyes in exhaustion, holding back his winces as you press the wet cloth to his damaged skin, dabbing away the blood. the pain is evident on his face, his expressions much too obvious to be feigned. "hurts huh?"

your boyfriend hums, opening one of his eyes. "yeah" he can't help the frown that graces his lips, a frown you pick up on.

"this isn't the first time right?" you know, of course you know, you can read mark like he's your favorite work of literature. mark never understands how you do it, but he also decides never to question it.

"no" his tongue runs over his teeth, somehow feeling disappointed. he lightly shifts in his position when he feels you apply ointment to the cut, finally allowing that well needed wince to leave his lips. "i didn't mean to hide all my wounds from you i just.. i didn't want you to worry".

you offer a small chuckle. "i worry about you either way, baby".

the petname makes the heat on his face amplify, and he looks down at the floor. "and you don't like red.."

you blink. "what?"

mark begins picking at his nails, embarrassed. "you don't like red, i didn't want to constantly show up all cut and busted up, i just wanted to save you the worry".

your gaze softens, but mark avoids your eyes anyway, somewhat ashamed of the words he just muttered.

knowing your boyfriend is spiderman hasn't really assured any of your worries. before, it was just anxiety about how much work he was putting himself through, and now it was anxiety about literally everything. he could show up on your doorstep or windowsill with wounds all over him, terribly injured, and he'd just.. smile. how could you not worry?

"you don't have to save me anything, i'm here to make sure you're okay" you say, frowning at the whole display before you. "so.. how do i take this off?"

"wow, trying to undress me already?"

you playfully hit mark's shoulder, and he giggles at your resulting expression. still, he points you to the zipper on his suit, and you begin unzipping the spandex so you can reveal his other scars much easier. mark isn't focusing on that, though, he's instead focused on the rip in his very own suit. "fucker put a tear in it".

you let out an amused snicker, but mark's frown doesn't falter. "is that really all you care about?"

your boyfriend shrugs. "well i do care about it, i spent so much time sewing it.."

realizing he was genuinely upset about it, your smile falls, pointer finger trailing down his neck, feeling all of the scars from previous battles. "i'll help you sew it back, okay?" you use your free hand to tilt his chin towards you, and the smile you offer makes him smile.

"you're so gentle" mark lets his head slowly fall onto your shoulder, humming in solace at the feeling of warmth surrounding him. "i should've come to you sooner".

"well you can come to me now" you respond, voice laced with nothing but adoration. "think i can do a better job at patching you up than what you've been doing for all this time.."

you use your free hand to cup mark's face, squishing his cheeks. you chuckle at the display, completely enamored by the sight before you. "i'll take care of you now, you always know where to find me".

mark doesn't respond, worn out from literally everything, but his smile says it all. he again leans against you, and you can feel his heart beating. the sweetness of his smile contrasts the red that still stain his skin, but he no longer minds. "you're too nice to me".

"that's my job".

mark opens his eyes, staring at you for a moment, silent. then, he sits up and places his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss.

you yelp at the sudden change of mood, but you snicker, and mark feels your smile against his lips. your back just lightly hits your bed, legs coming up as mark's hand holds your jaw, gently keeping you in place as his presses become much more frenzied.

there's a slight whine that comes from you, and mark retreats for air a small while after, hands still holding onto your jaw, his finger beginning to caress your skin. "sorry.." he mutters, his head falling onto your chest.

you let out a silent laugh. "for what?"

mark's arms come to wrap around you, leaving you trapped in your place. "worrying you, it was just—"

you press your pointer finger to his lips, effectively shutting him up. "you don't have to explain it anymore, babe, you're okay, and that's all that matters to me".

if mark's cheeks dust red, he again tries to hide that fact by hiding his face from you. "love you".

the words are small, nothing but a whisper in your expanse of a room, but you hear them loud and clear. his arms circled around your waist leave you with a feeling of warmth, easement that just brightens your night a little bit more.

"i love you too, but you can't fall asleep on me like this".

mark almost lets out a whine, but he just frowns. "at least let me change you into something comfortable, and finish cleaning that other cut".

and though mark doesn't want to let you go, he also can't help but smile at the words.

your favorite color isn't red, it's your least, but when mark bleeds red, that all becomes unnecessary.

you'll be here to patch up all of his red, you're sure of it.

[tsu-kitty]

𝓉𝓈𝓊𝓀𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓂𝒶 𝒾𝓂𝒶𝓰𝒾𝓃ℯ

♡ wc › 1.0k

♡ contains › tsukishima x reader, fem!reader, volleyball player!reader, reader get hit on by a random guy, tsuki rescues reader. reader and tsuki are in their second year.

♡ summary › it's the interhigh tournament and you're a member of a girl's volleyball team at karasuno. tsukishima saves you from getting hit on by another player.

♡ a/n › my first fic on this blog! i hope everyone likes it. not proof read.

Don't get involved… Don't get involved… It's none of your business…

Having chosen to use the furthest bathrooms from the main courts of the Interhigh Tournament in order to avoid lining up, Tsukishima expected the halls to be deserted. And they were initially, but on his way back to the team, Tsukishima heard an obnoxious male voice and a quieter female voice echoing from a nearby turn off.

“I'm flattered, but I'm not interested, sorry,” said the quiet female voice.

“Oh, come on, sweetness,” replied the male. “I'm hot, you're hot, we'd make a great couple.”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes as he passed the hall the voice came from. He hated guys that were full of themselves. He pitied the poor girl this arrogant guy was hitting on. She should just tell him to piss off.

“I'm serious.” Her voice shook ever so slightly. “I'm not interested.”

“I can make you interested,” said the guy.

Tsukishima paused just before the left turn where the two voices originated. Don't get involved, Tsukishima.

Curiosity got the better of him though, his eyes flicking down the hall as he walked past. Despite intending not to stop, the sight of the girl made him freeze. Her uniform was black and orange with a bright white number 6 on the back under the words “Karasuno High School”.

It was you.

Whilst most of the Karasuno girls team barely crazed the tip of his consciousness, you were somewhere floating in the middle. Not someone he thought about all day everyday, but someone that made semi-regular appearances in his life.

This was mostly due to the fact you were in his class both this year and the last. There were other moments that made you memorable, though. Like the first time you met, when you quite literally walked into him on the first day of school. Or the time you tripped down the stairs and fell onto him midway through the year. Then there were the times you and your team cheered on his.

Tsukishima and you had interacted enough for him to know that you were somewhat shy and awkward, but nonetheless kind and joyful. You weren't the type to like obnoxious guys like the one currently hitting on you.

You also smelt like strawberries—real ones, not the artificial flavouring—which Tsukishima really liked. Not that he'd ever admit that.

Watching you now, the way you tugged your shorts down and crossed your arms over your torso, the way your weight shifted from foot to foot, Tsukishima could easily tell you were not enjoying the interaction. That was enough for him to decide to intervene.

“You're so cute when you're nervous,” the unknown boy snickered. “It makes me want you more.”

Your stomach churned with anxiety. “Please go away. I'm seriously not interested.”

“Don't say that, sweetness.” He reached his hand towards your waist.

You flinched away before he could touch you, but to your shock and dismay, you hit a hard body. Eyes wide with panic, you spun, ready to make a quick apology then run for your life.

“Is this guy bothering you, Y/N?” It was Tsukishima Kei, the blonde boy that sat behind you in class.

This boy… you seemed to always be—quite literally—running into him. Not that you minded too much. He was undeniably handsome: fair skin, sharp jaw and nose, short and slightly wavy blonde hair, gorgeous amber eyes behind a pair of black rimmed glasses. You had to admit, you'd had a small crush on him since first year.

A wave of relief washed over you. His timing couldn't be more perfect.

As well as his intelligence and height, Tsukishima was known for his sour attitude. He was witty and sharp-tongued, borderline rude at times, but that was exactly what you needed right now.

“Yes,” you breathed. You met Tsukishima's gaze and hoped your expression conveyed your desperate situation to him. “Yes, he is bothering me.”

Behind his glasses, Tsukishima's eyes flicked between yours, reading the silent panic in them. He broke the eye contact to cast a disdainful look over the unknown boy.

“You hear that, pipsqueak?” Tsukishima said, tilting his head to the right. “You're bothering her. So, piss off.”

You couldn't help but smile at the insult Tsukishima threw at the other boy. He wasn't really that short, about average height maybe, but Tsukishima was easily a head taller than him.

“Pipsqueak?” spat the boy. “Who the hell are you calling pipsqueak?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “You, obviously.” Then he smirked and your heart skipped a beat. “You're not very bright, are you?”

The other boy's face turned tomato red. “You little shit.”

“How intelligent,” Tsukishima deadpanned, turning away. “Come on, Y/N. Let's get out of here.”

He started walking and you tried to follow, but a hand on your wrist stopped you.

“Wait up, sweetness—”

In one long step, Tsukishima was back at your side, ripping the stranger's hand off you. “How thick is your skull? You're bothering her, so we're leaving.”

The glare on Tsukishima's face sent a shiver down your spine. Placing a gentle hand at the small of your back, he made sure you were a step in front of him as he guided you away. The warmth from his touch radiated throughout your body. For such a boy with such a cold personality, he was surprisingly warm.

“Thank you, Tsukishima,” you said quietly as the two of you walked.

“You need to work on rejecting people,” was his curt reply.

You almost snorted. “That sounds awful.”

Tsukishima scoffed. “Not as awful as watching you get hit on.”

For the second time today, your heart skipped a beat. What did that mean? Awful as in pitiful? Awful as in gross? Why would it be awful? What about seeing you get hit on was awful?

“Y/N! Tsukishima!”

You had reached the place where your teams had set down their bags, both your captain and his waving you over. Tsukishima retracted his hand, quickly tucking it into his pocket. You turned your head to him, but he was gone, mumbling to Yamaguchi and throwing his headphones on.

Why are you so elusive, Tsukishima?

[authorhjk1]

Colours for her maybe?

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cr4zK8ShdZx/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

White

(Jinni X Male Reader)

Warning! Race kink. This is purely fictional. If you are not comfortable with that, don't read it.

-------

Until two months ago, you were a horny loser. Average job, average looks, average life. It had been years since your last relationship and your desire to have sex again was increasing by the second. Sure, you could've ordered a hooker, but you decided that that would really be your last resort.

While your were scrolling through a porn side, trying to find a video of an Asian pornstar you haven't watched yet, you stumble across an add for an new app. An app for people with different kinks to come together and live out their fantasies. You were reluctant at first. You never had any luck with dating apps, so why should this one be different?

The lack of a partner that satisfies your carnal cravings eventually overwhelmed you. With shakey fingers, you create an account. It only took a couple of minutes, until you were staring at the last box you had to fill out.

What kink is your favorite?

You knew you shouldn't reduce someone to the color of their skin or their ethnicity. But since you got into kpop, you were really down bad for Asian women. You just couldn't resist. Everything about them seemed to be perfect.

Your heart beat faster as you typed in the words, afraid that they would ban you from the app.

Two days. Two days later she answered. You couldn't believe your luck, excitement rushing through your veins. You stared at her message for more than just a couple minutes.

"I want to be you favorite Asian girl."

You quickly checked out her profile.

"I like to be reduced to nothing but my body. I need someone to free-use me whenever they want. I want to go to random weddings and let a man fuck me in a semi public place, so everyone can hear my slutty moans, completely ruining their wedding."

One thing let to another...

"Oh fuck! Your cock is tearing me open!"

Jinni screams out her pleasure, her voice bouncing off the walls of this small walk in closet. This isn't your first time fucking her at a wedding. But the the first time in a church.

You know she is exaggerating a little, but that plays into her kink. Letting all the guests know that you're fucking her brains out. You are sure her voice must be echoing throughout the whole church, the old stone walls making it easier for her voice to spread.

"Give it to me. Give it to me hard! Please!"

Jinni moans and begs as you pound her from behind. Her hands are pressed against the wall she is leaning on as she takes that pounding like a good girl. Her white dress hiked up around her waist.

"Fuck, you are tight."

"Yes, I am! Just for you! Pound that Asian pussy!"

The wedding must be ruined right now, but you don't care. You keep thrusting into Jinni, enjoying how she feels around your cock. Her tight body takes every thrust with ease. That's what she said herself. She's only a body, made to be used.

You rest your head in her hair, taking in her scent. You can't keep this up for much longer. Jinni is a pro in making you cum as hard and as quick as possible by now. And the thrill of getting caught adds to that as well.

"Oh, baby! Use my body as a cum dump! Please! Cream pie me!"

Her cries force you to fuck her harder as you chase after your orgasm. If the wedding wasn't ruined yet, it definitely is now.

"Jinni..."

You warn her, your hands on her waist pulling her against your hips as you thrust forward.

"Do it! I'm just a sex toy!"

"Fuck!"

This is probably the first time the involuntary audience hears your voice. But you don't care.

You finish inside Jinni, making a mess of her pussy. Painting her insides white, you hold her in place, stopping her from grinding herself against you.

When the brain fog of your orgasm finally disappears, you can think straight again.

"Let's get out of here, before they catch us."

You nod, trying to collect yourself and your clothes.

-------

Hey everyone!

Something a little different this time. This was me, just testing the waters. Since race is often a sensitive topic, I want to know how you guys stand on race play. I've a couple of asks for idols with men of darker skin color, but I'm hesitant to write them, if I don't know your stance on this particular topic. Feel free to comment or send me a message. This won't be a regular theme of my stories. But I might mix it in occasionally, if you guys are fine with that.

After coming up with the idea for that app, I think I'm gonna use it for some of the parts of this series as well. So, if you want your favorite idol to have a particular kink, feel free to send it along with your request.

Oh, and please do mention the name of the idol, when you send pictures or links. I don't know everyone of course and some idols can look very different from other angles, or with new hair color. So to avoid confusion please add the name.

[your-internet-bf]

It's been a while since you've seen a doctor, and you're nervous as you follow the nurse back to my office. What's there to be nervous about, this is just a little checkup, right? You notice the nurse's manicured burgundy nails as she knocks sharply on the door. She turns to you, smiling prettily, and says, "the doctor will see you now."

You push open the door and enter quite a large room. The nurse follows, closing the door behind you. In the center is the examination table, off to the right is a small crowd of young adults, appearing to be made up of men and women, and on the left is me, seated at my desk. "Welcome," I say, standing and extending one hand. My voice is deep, warm, and smooth, and you fumble for a moment, blushing a little, before you remember to shake my hand. Your hand is dwarfed in mine, my strong fingers encircling you, and a thought flashes unbidden through your mind - what would those fingers feel like inside you? - but, come on now, that's really not appropriate...

"I have a few students with me, as you can see. Is that alright?"

"Well, yes, of course!" Why shouldn't it be?

"Excellent. Now, I'm pioneering this new full-body examination method - it's really quite extraordinary, the maladies I can detect this way - but be warned, it is, shall we say, unorthodox. Is that alright?"

Just for a moment, you see something in my eyes, something behind the genial smile and gentle, reassuring tone. Just for a moment, you feel like some specimen, some piece of meat, pinned down under the lights with nowhere to go... but just for a moment. Surely, nothing bad can happen, and I'm a doctor, aren't I? You can trust me. So you swallow your fear, and you acquiesce.

"Excellent! Let's have a seat on the table, if you don't mind, and we'll make a start. Nurse V, if you would..."

As you sit on the table, the clinical, sterile seating a little cold against your skin, the pretty nurse steps behind the table, facing you, waiting for something. From your right, I approach, and you feel again just how much larger than you I am as my broad shoulders block out one of the ceiling lights. With all these people watching you, it takes all you have not to squeeze your legs together, just a little bit.

We begin with a quick examination of your face - "you have beautiful eyes, you know," I purr into one ear. I place one hand on the side of your neck and tilt your head; god, you've been reading too much, haven't you, the way you want these strong, expert fingers to close around your throat.

"Now, open your mouth for me, please." You oblige, and I cup your chin and slide my thumb into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. Your eyebrows jump in surprise, and you look at me questioningly.

I smile again, still inside you. "Unorthodox, remember? Now, close your mouth and try to swallow." From behind, the nurse strokes your cheek with the back of one hand, and you feel a sudden ache between your legs. You close your lips around my thumb and swallow. It tastes... clean, mostly, as one might expect from a doctor, but you can taste the sweat underneath.

"Very good, one more time for me."

You swallow again, and you feel me slide my thumb over the surface of your tongue, pressing down, swirling in circles.

"And, one more time... yes, that's it, good job, very good job."

The praise for this degrading task is more than you can bear, and you squeeze your thighs together. Fuck, it's humiliating, everyone just saw you do that... All these eyes on you, the beautiful nurse behind you, this big, strong doctor with these big, strong hands and that big fucking bulge... but no, this is just a checkup, nothing is going to happen, right?

While you were thinking, I dried my hand off and had begun speaking.

"I'm - I'm sorry?"

"No worries. I was saying, can you remove your top, please? We need to examine your heart and your breathing."

You stare at me. "Remove my - "

"Yes, remove your top. The fewer barriers between me and you, the less interference with my examination." My face is quite serious, almost bored - this really must be routine. You look back at the nurse, and she smiles slightly and nods. So you undress, your nipples betraying you, standing at attention. You blush as the crowd of students looks at you intently. The nurse lays one warm hand on your shoulder, slender fingers gripping you reassuringly, and your eyes are drawn once more to those burgundy nails.

I step in close, and you feel my breath warm on your chest. "Now, observe the stiffness in the patient's nipples - this is to be expected, given the cool air, and it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of," I say, smiling. I press my stethoscope up over your heart, the metal cold on your skin, and your mind is betrayed by the pounding of your heart. My eyes flick up to meet yours, and I grin, predatorily, and once again you feel like a piece of meat beneath the lights.

I examine your breasts, starting with your left. Enclosed in my big, strong hands, I squeeze and push, prod and pull, ostensibly feeling for any abnormalities, but the way my fingers brush over your nipples, the intensity with which I sink them into your soft breasts, heaving now as your breath comes faster... My practiced tongue rasps over one nipple and a tiny moan escapes your lips as you try desperately to hide how much you're enjoying this; try desperately, and fail.

Abruptly, I pull back. "Excellent! All seems well here." I rest one hand on your other shoulder and turn to the students. "Note the pleasure response during this section of the examination, and I hope you were paying attention to the oral technique."

I turn back to you, my eyes dancing as they meet yours. "Fully undress, if you would. The inspection must continue."

Your hands tremble as you slide your clothes down off your waist, and the nurse aids you, her lovely hands stroking along your thighs and calves as she does.

"And spread for us, please."

Obediently, your thighs open, exposing your cunt, your needy, aching wetness, to all.

"Note the beauty of the patient's sex, here. The shape of the folds," I murmur, tracing one finger along your sensitive lips, "the balanced ratio of the clitoris to the vulva overall," sliding two fingers on either side of your clit, squeezing gently between them, "the appropriate pleasure response in - "

You lose what I say as I plunge two fingers inside you, powerful and dextrous, knuckles slipping past your tightness easily. It feels so fucking good to finally have something inside you, after all this aching and teasing, and god, so many people are watching, they're all watching your pussy spread and toyed with by this big, strong, handsome older man, and now the nurse's slender fingers are across your throat and her lips are on your forehead, and she tells you that you're doing so well for me, you've been so good...

My fingers press up inside you, finding your g spot, and with my thumb rubbing on your clit, I start melting you. Waves of pleasure course through your body, you gasp, moan, whimper, and with your eyes closed you can't tell whose lips are so soft on yours, but it feels so fucking good, and all those people are watching and it makes you want it more, your back arching, chest heaving, melting under the attention, and finally, mercifully, you cum, contracting around my fingers, squeezing your thighs together, trembling, shaking, gasping for air. You hear me say something, but you're so overwhelmed with pleasure that all you can make out from my speech is "very, very good".

The hand withdraws from your throat, and I gently, gently, extricate my fingers, and settle my hand atop one thigh, fingers slick with your desire.

The nurse whispers affirmation in your ear as I address the class. "Stimulation in this manner, of the two most sensitive sex stimuli, brings the most consistent and powerful orgasms to those possessing these organs." I stroke the inside of your thigh reassuringly, before turning to you.

"The final part of this examination is seeing how well you handle penetration. I'm going to need your unequivocal verbal consent before proceeding."

The nurse leans in and whispers into your ear, "might I suggest 'please, sir, will you fuck me?'" You'd blush harder if you could.

You swallow, nervously, and there's a twisting in your gut as you say it. "Please," you begin, voice cracking. "Please, sir, will you fuck me?"

"Yes, that is sufficient. I must say, though," I warn, unzipping my jeans, "that I am quite large." I slap my cock down on your tummy, and the sheer weight of it shocks you. You've seen size like this in porn, sure, but fuck, you've never touched something like this. When you tear your gaze away from my cock, I'm grinning down at you, predatory again. "You can back out at any time, you know." My voice is low, teasing, challenging. "Should we continue?"

You nod shakily, and spread your legs a little wider.

One hand on your raised knee, one hand guiding my cock, I push against you. For a moment you realize the exam had to be done in this order; if you weren't so fucking wet, there's no chance you'd be able to take me. But all thoughts are blasted out of your mind as I push harder and slide in.

It's so fucking thick that you can't help but groan. You've never felt so full, so strained inside, being pushed in every direction; you're not built for this, maybe there's just too much, your body is rejecting me - and then I push again, another few inches, and you slam your head back against the padded table, a long, drawn-out "fuuuuuck" wrenched from your lips. You feel my strong hands brace at your hips, and with a final thrust, slamming your cervix up into your guts, moving your entire body, the ridges of my cock sliding deeper and deeper, sliding painfully, pleasurably past your walls, I'm inside you.

The nurse rests her hands on you again, and purrs in your ear, "you're doing so well for him, I know it's hard, it's so hard, but you're doing such a good job, pretty girl..."

Glacially, I pull out, allowing you a moment to rest, before thrusting in again, hands still at your waist. You sob once, loudly, and then you sink into it as I pick up a rhythm, deep, deep strokes inside you. You hear me grunting, whispering something, and I grow more frantic, impaling you a little harder, and through the wall of pleasure you hear me rumble, "nurse V, begin the overstimulation procedure."

"Certainly, doctor." She leans over you, lips fiercely meeting yours, and one of those slender hands reaches down to abuse your clit. An image of those burgundy nails on your cunt flashes through your mind as I continue pounding you, forcing you to spread for me, adjust to me, even as the nurse plays your clit like an instrument, and fuck, she's a virtuoso.

You sing a song of moans and voiceless curses under our combined mastery, knowing your audience is entranced, filled with a blazing, lusty pride. The deep bass of my voice, resonant in your skull, is saying something, but you cannot hear me; you're moaning, groaning, pleading, "yes, yes, oh my god yes" over and over...

The song swells to a crescendo and with two sudden strikes, two powerful thrusts into you, it ends with a thick, hot, sticky white wave of my approval inside you. You feel it pulse deep, deep inside, filling you, load after load delivered straight past your bruised, abused cervix.

You come back to reality with my cum spilling from between your legs, trailing thickly down onto the exam table. I zip up my jeans while the nurse helps dry you off, from all the sweat and saliva. She dabs caringly at your mouth, and you notice that the cloth is dyed the same shade as her lipstick.

"Now," I address the class, "I hope you were paying attention." I rest one hand on your aching, trembling thigh. How many times did you cum with me inside you? How long were all these people watching you writhe beneath me, begging, losing yourself in the pleasure? You have no fucking clue. "This patient has bravely volunteered for each of you to examine her, here and now, while she's available to us."

Your jaw drops. When did you agree to that? You would never - but you were begging, "yes, yes, yes" earlier, weren't you, while I was talking. You agreed. Everyone heard you say it.

"One at a time, please. And," I say to you, grinning wolfishly, "don't worry. I'll be watching the entire time."

[dixons-sunshine]

Pull Through | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: While you were injured with no way of knowing if you'd make it or not, Daryl let the group in on his feelings. He shares some of his memories with you, as well as some of his worries.

Genre: Angst.

Era: Prison, post season three, pre season four.

Part of the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU, but can be read as a standalone. However, some call backs are made to previous parts in this.

Warnings: Mentions of injuries.

Word count: 1.2k.

A/n: I've had this idea in my mind for another part to the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU for a while now, but I just don't know how to put it into a proper fic. This is more of a filler than an actual fic, but anyways. Hope you like this!

“Ya know, Shane wasn't the first person to tell me tha' I dun' deserve her.”

Rick looked up from his daughter to look at the archer, Daryl holding his own five month old baby girl in his arms. Rick's heart broke at the sight of his found brother's clear distress evident on his face. He was staring off at nothing in particular, thankfully lucid enough to keep Hazel in place on his lap. It was clear that your recent injury had taken its toll on Daryl, and Rick knew that if you didn't wake up from your little coma, Daryl would be a mess; he would be a bigger mess than Rick was when he lost Lori.

“My whole life, even 'fore I grew the balls to confess to her, people were tellin' me tha' I dun' deserve her, tha' I ain't good 'nough fer her, tha' she'll see it herself and leave me.” Daryl stopped for a moment, his attention temporarily being diverted to his daughter who was starting to fuss a little. He whispered sweet nothings to her in the hopes of calming her down, slightly bouncing his leg and successfully coaxing a giggle from her. “But she never left. Even when things weren't all sunshines and rainbows, she stayed. She loved me regardless of all of my flaws, and god knows I have a shit ton of 'em. She ain't ever even thought 'bout walkin' outta the door, even when she could'a, and I wouldn't have blamed her.”

By now, a few people in the group has stopped to listen to the usually quiet archer. Beth, Maggie, Glenn, Sasha, Tyreese, Hershel, Michonne, Carl and Carol stopped to listen to him. It was extremely rare to hear Daryl talk about anything outside of the usual “formal” work talk—who would go on runs, who'd work on the fence, etc.—so everyone was intrigued to hear the brooding huntsman speak his mind.

“She deserved so much better than me, and I know tha', but she didn't think so. She stuck with me through everythin'. Through most'a my childhood, through highschool, through Merle and his bullshit, everythin'.” Daryl inhaled sharply and let out a shaky exhale, trying to keep his emotions under control. “She always managed to make the most outta everythin'. When I saw a glass tha' was half empty, she saw a glass tha' was half full. Ya know, our first apartment we lived in after movin' outta her mom's trailer was so shitty.”

“Yeah?” Rick replied, just letting Daryl know that he was listening.

“Yeah,” Daryl confirmed with a broken chuckle, nodding his head and allowing Hazel to play with his fingers. “Hot water didn't work most'a the time, the oven only worked when it wanted to, the pipes made this weird screeching sound whenever it was cold, and the window to our bedroom was jammed shut. It never opened, so it was hella hot in the summer.” He sighed again and shook his head. “We lived in tha' crappy place fer years 'fore either of us had 'nough money to move into a better place. But she never complained, never threatened to leave me if I didn't find a better apartment, never once blamed me when she had to take a cold shower in the winter. Hell, she even planned on proposin' to me 'cause I was takin' too long.” For added emphasis, he lifted his left hand to show off the silver band he proudly wore every day of his life since that day in your apartment. “I beat her to it, though. She's jus' so amazin'. I love her. I can't lose her. I'll die without her.” And with that last sentence, a sob finally broke out of the archer's chest.

Within seconds, Rick had gently grabbed Hazel from Daryl's arms and passed her over to Carol—who had been on her way to offer her own support to the huntsman—before wrapping his arms around his unofficial brother. Judith had been passed over to Beth during Daryl's speech to be put down for the night, so it made it easier for the former sheriff to jump up and hug Daryl. The archer never once displayed any forms of sadness in front of the group that had to do with crying. His sadness was usually handled through anger, but this wasn't a usual situation. You—the love of his life and the mother of his baby girl—were clinging on for dear life in your weakened state. The attackers that ambushed the group of people who went on the run the previous day made you suffer the worst of the attack. Hershel did his best with the supplies he had, but there was no telling if you'd recover until you woke up, if you ever woke up. And that scared Daryl beyond belief.

Rick didn't hold Daryl long, maybe two minutes at most, until he pulled away. Daryl furiously wiped at the tears in his eyes, mad at himself for displaying such weakness in front of everybody. However, nobody made any sort of comment towards him, their own understanding and worry towards you preventing them from doing so.

“If there's one thing I know,” Rick began, standing up and allowing Daryl to have some space. “It's that you Dixons are fucking stubborn. She'll pull through, I know it.”

Daryl sniffed and nodded, wiping his eyes one more time before getting up and gently taking his daughter from Carol. “She needs to be put to bed soon. She, uh, needs to see her mama 'fore it, though, jus' in case...”

Just in case you didn't make it.

Rick nodded sympathetically, and with that, Daryl walked away from everyone's empathetic gazes. He walked up the stairs and made his way to the makeshift medical cell, expecting to see you asleep, like you had been for over twenty-four hours at that point. However, he was instead met with the sight of you sat up and crouched over to the side, heaving and clutching at your chest, awake and alert, and he didn't hesitate to call for help.

“Hershel!”

Within seconds, the old man had hobbled himself over to the cell and was by your side in an instant. He was helping you put an oxygen mask over your mouth to help you breath, and once you weren't struggling to breathe anymore, he sent a frightened looking Daryl a reassuring smile. He beckoned him closer, and with Hazel still in his arms, he walked over to you and sat down on the bed, hugging you gently and quickly before pulling back—there would be time to crush you to him and never let you go when you weren't sat with a recently shot stomach and a few broken ribs. Hershel patted his back reassuringly, and he sent a very awake, lucid you a warm smile.

“Welcome back.” He turned to Daryl and nodded. “She pulled through.”

“S'a good sign, righ'?”

For the first time in twenty four hours, Hershel gave the archer good news. “It's a damn good sign.”

You were grunting and reaching out to Daryl, and your husband instantly knew what you were requesting. With a nod from Hershel, Daryl slowly transfered Hazel into your arms, and your little one instantly recognized her mama's touch. Her mood instantly brightened, right alongside her father's.

You were okay. However, the same definitely wouldn't be said for the son of a bitch held prisoner as soon as Daryl was done with him later—he was going to pay for hurting you, and Daryl wasn't going to go easy on him, either.

[amirasainz]

hi i was wondering if you could do a max x kelly x amira where she’s in the red bull paddock and she just gets showered with attention from everybody and carlos gets a bit jealous?

You don’t have to do it if you feel uncomfortable!

Hope this is what you wanted. Enjoy reading and don't be shy to send me some requests!!!

-XoXo

No Part 2!!!

Mango-Dragon Fruit Refresher

“- and here is a hot cup of chocolate for you. Oh, and a blanket, so you don’t get cold,” said GP. “If you need anything else, let me know and we will get it for you,” added Christian. “Christian, she isn’t going to stay here. Her and Kelly—” Max started before Geri interrupted him. “While we wait for the food to arrive, let’s do some online shopping with Christian’s card.”

To be honest, it was quite a funny sight in the Red Bull garage. Max and Kelly didn’t realize that the situation would escalate like that. When the couple first woke up, their bodies were filled with excitement. Today was finally the day where Amira would spend her day at the Red Bull garage. They had asked her yesterday when they took her out for dinner. And like the sweet angel she is, she answered with a soft “I would love to spend the day with you guys.”

This morning, everything was fine. Kelly and she got ready together, while Max ordered breakfast for all of them. Afterwards, they drove to Starbucks where Amira got four “Mango Dragon Fruit Iced Refreshers.” They obviously didn’t want their love to get thirsty on their way.

But the moment the three of them entered Max’s garage, everything went downhill. The mechanics and the PR team cheered when they saw the Spanish girl. They stole her from Max and Kelly’s side, showing her the car. Amira, because she honestly is the most polite person on earth, paid attention to every single thing they showed her. Then, out of nowhere, Christian and Geri arrived, catching up with their favorite “daughter.” So one can understand why Kelly and Max are currently pissed off.

But the couple wasn’t the only one being unhappy with the situation. Carlos, who was passing by with Charles and Fred by his side, saw how everyone was hogging his precious little sister. The moment he heard Geri promise her to do some online shopping, he saw red. How dare they buy his sister things when she is only supposed to buy things with HIS money? And the audacity of the whole team has to give her a Red Bull branded blanket! She is the FERRARI princess, NOT the Red Bull one. It’s not Ferrari’s fault that the team doesn’t have any pretty princesses they can cuddle and love (Sorry Kelly.)

So like a man on a mission, Carlos marched into the garage. “Hey, you can’t b—” started one of Max’s mechanics before falling quiet under Carlos’ murderous glare. He marched towards his sister, “ripping” her out of Geri’s arms. “Sainz, you can’t just walk in here; this is not your garage,” said a furious Christian. “And this is not your sister, so you can’t have her,” countered Carlos. “Now wait Carlos; you know she is our guest today,” said Kelly. “Oh yeah? How about you all stop stealing our guest and try to find some fans for your own team?” answered Carlos.

Charles and Fred were heard from outside, both of them encouraging Carlos. “Yes Chilli! Don’t let them take your sister away from you!” Charles yelled. Before anyone could say anything else, Carlos gently took Amira’s hand, saying “Let’s get out of here, hermosa. We can do some shopping with Charles if you like,” receiving a smile from the girl.

The Red Bull team watched with bewildered faces how the Sainz siblings left the pit lane with Charles. Fred, who was still left at the entrance turned towards Christian, pointing his finger at him and yelled a loud and joyous “HA!” before skipping happily towards his team building.

The silence was interrupted when Kelly turned towards Geri and said: “This is all your fault!” “MY FAULT?! How can this possibly be my fault?” asked Geri. This was the moment cameras captured the biggest fight ever in Formula 1.

And Checo? He stood on his side of the garage, enjoying a refreshing “Mango Dragon Fruit Refresher.”

[nothorses]

I came across this paper:

https://www.academia.edu/71372307/Trans_masculinities_embodiments_performances_and_the_materiality_of_gender_in_times_of_change

I'm not well-versed in academic language so I can't really understand all of it, but it seems kind of gross and condescending, especially when it's using testimonials of transmasc's desire to be seen as men to, idk, prove that masculinity isn't really queer or something? I'm curious how other (smarter) people would interpret it.

I mean, your understanding of it is just as important as mine! I'm happy to add my thoughts, though.

My understanding is that their thesis is essentially "masculinity is related to maleness and the male body specifically, and we know that because transmascs want to have male bodies". They allow for some nuance here in references to other literature, and I agree with that angle of their argument overall, but their premise is fundamentally flawed in the exclusion of trans theory and trans narratives.

Like, yes, masculinity is in some way related to appearance and the "male body", and there are a lot of reasons for that! But is the dysphoria of trans people really ironclad "proof" of what maleness and masculinity are? And why don't they spend any time talking about what dysphoria actually is, what trans people think it is, why trans people think they feel the way they do, or what trans academics have to say about any of this?

I have a lot of other issues with this paper as well, and I could probably write a paper just as long as theirs going into all of the reasons for that. But I think that answers your biggest question; what they're trying to prove, how they're trying to prove it, and why that comes across so weird.

To your other question ("is it condescending?"): I think this is kind of subjective overlay, but the way they go about analyzing their data is pretty condescending, in my opinion. They tend to frame their participants' responses as kind of misguided or ill-informed, particularly Diniz- who they definitely discuss as "trying to justify his choices" to identify as nonbinary while also seeking medical transition, like this is inherently contradictory and must therefore rely on some kind of delusion or desperation. It's weird!

I do also want to point out, briefly, that they also really cherrypick which claims they bother sourcing, and how they try to back them up.

They argue that trans men have male privilege based on the opinions of, like, three of their 30 total participants- and then carry this as "fact" through the entire paper, uncontested. That's extremely fucking weird and super suspect in a paper like this! I just wrote my own qualitative research paper based on interviews (which is what this is), and it's pretty standard to acknowledge the limitations of your research, and to position your results as non-definitive. Like, that's been a major part of every discussion with everyone I've talked to about my research. I would not have been greenlit to receive my degree if I hadn't been careful to avoid framing my research the way these people frame theirs.

The other weird thing they do is cherrypick statistics- or rather, one single statistic- to "prove" that transmascs do not suffer as much as other trans people, or possess some kind of privilege. They only cite murder statistics from one source; apparently that's the only relevant metric for quantifying all oppression? They also fail to acknowledge any possible shortcomings of this statistic, like the issues of under-reporting and misgendering of transmasc victims.

I could go on; I have a lot of gripes. But I think your criticism is totally valid, this was a weird and frustrating read.

Also curious if @genderkoolaid has thoughts- you tend to talk about gender studies from an academic position more, and you probably have a lot more field-specific expertise than I do. I'll boost other additions too, I love a good academic discussion!

[hopelesslydevoted2paige]

002. because i liked a girl

pairings: paige bueckers x fem singer!reader

word count: 529

warnings: none

su’s notes: second chapter! i hope u guys like it heheh sorry no paige just trust me here

series masterlist

fell so deeply into it, it was all so innocent

You couldn’t help but tear up as you scrolled through the different articles about you and Paige.

A photo of you moving out had spread and gone viral. After the events that had happened with Paige, you decided to go stay with your friend Azzi, who you met through her.

"Y/N, you really need to stop reading those." Azzi snatches the phone from your hand.

You sigh and throw your head back on the couch.

“I just don't get why she went back to her, Az."

Azzi sits in the spot next to you. "Come on, Y/N. You haven't been outside in a week. Do you still remember what fresh air is like?" She teases.

You roll your eyes. "I don't have a reason to go out, so I simply won't."

"Go to the grocery with me at least! Please? You do know not everyone is on Paige's side."

You hesitate, but end up giving in. "Fine. You're getting me ice cream though."

Azzi puts her hands up in the air. "Go, get dressed!"

—

"Okay, where's your list?" You both entered the grocery, your faces red and wide grins from the karaoke you did in the car.

Azzi opened her notes app and gave you her phone.

You furrowed your brows. "Azzi, there are like three things in here!"

"I know!" She grinned cheekily and disappeared into an aisle.

You rolled your eyes before walking off to look for your ice cream.

You walked through ice cream aisle slowly, eyeing the different flavors and brands.

“Y/N! We’re such big fans!” Two young girls walked up to you and squealed. “Can we get a picture?”

“Uh sure!” You smiled warmly and stood behind them, getting into the camera frame.

“Is it true you broke up with Paige?” They asked you, putting their phone down.

“Uhm, I’d rather not say.” You laughed awkwardly.

“Oh, okay.” They both walked away slowly. “I always thought Paige didn’t deserve her anyway.”

You tensed, but shook it off and continued to look for your ice cream.

Once you found it, you met Azzi in by the counter and paid for your things.

“You okay?” Azzi noticed your shift in mood.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s just go.” You grabbed a paper bag and walked out with Azzi’s hand on your back.

The minute you walked out, cameras started flashing and reporters shoved their microphones into your face.

“Y/N! Is it true that you and Paige Bueckers are no longer together?”

“What do you have to say about the articles?”

“Who are you eyeing next?”

“Were you with someone else during your relationship with her?

Your chest tightened as you lost your breath.

Azzi held you the whole way to her car, guiding you as you faced the ground and covered your face.

Once you both got in the car, Azzi immediately drove back to the dorms.

The car ride back was quiet. The soft sounds of the music playing in the background.

“I’m sorry for making you come with me.” Azzi broke the silence.

“It’s fine. You were just looking out for me.”

You stayed silent for a few seconds as Azzi parked.

You nudged her shoulder. “Come on, I have a whole tub of ice cream for us to eat.”

dating girls with exes, no i wouldn’t recommend it.

[peachhcs]

she's not her.

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

will thinks the combine will help him get his mind off samy, but that completely backfires when he realizes she's everywhere with him.

3.2k words

hiii here's the first (new) installment of the new breakup timeline of the au!! (also so long wow) i'm writing four of the major points of the breakup into fics, but if you guys wnat smaller blurbs about any of it, send them to the inbox. cassidy is a completely fake character here, but zeev and james are real people! (i don't know the other boys too well, sorry!!)

au masterlist

“yeah, mom. it’s going great,” will hummed as he shuffled around his room searching for his keycard despite him already being ten minutes late. 

the boy could never keep his belongings straight whenever he stayed in a hotel room by himself. how did he even manage before? the answer hit will before he could even really think about it because you know who was always with him on these things? 

he knew who and he was not going to say her name. will promised himself he’d use this week to just forget about all of his problems and just enjoy getting to know the other guys here and that meant he was not going to say—

“samy’s mom called me earlier. she asked about you,” damn it. whatever his mom was saying before didn’t process in his brain because he snapped right back into reality as soon as the name left his mom’s lips. 

and why on earth was she referring to ellen as “samy’s mom.” will knew his mom always, always called her ellen. she probably read his mind or something knowing he was trying (and failing) to not think about her this week. 

“oh. okay,” will didn’t know what to say, so he continued searching for the stupid keycard. 

“i told her you were at the combine having fun. she told me samy’s at her sleepaway camp for the week too,” mrs. smith continued even though she knew will didn’t want to talk about samy at all. 

“mom, can you not?” the boy mumbled. 

“can i not what, will? she’s still a part of this family, so i am gonna ask about her and tell you because i know you still care,” colleen had a point and the blonde hated it because she was right. 

he did care. of course, he cared no matter how much he didn’t want to. that was the hardest part about all of this. 

“i gotta go. i’m already running a bit late. i’ll talk to you later, mom. love you,” they exchanged their goodbyes as soon as will found what he wanted under a pile of clothes in the corner. 

“thank god,” the boy mumbled as raced out of his room to where some of the guys he met were waiting down in the lobby. 

will felt so new to all of this—the media, the sudden popularity, the press. these guys seemed so used to it all yet he was so lost in it all still. he spotted his new friends in some of the chairs awaiting his presence, so he mustered up his best smile as he approached them. 

“there you are, smitty. where were you?” zeev spots the blonde first, his legs hung over the armrest of the chair. 

“sorry, i lost my keycard. i had to find it before i left,” will explained a bit embarrassingly. the other guys laughed him off though and that’s when the blonde noticed a few girls mixed into the group now. a few of them sent eyes his way, whispering things to one another which made will’s cheeks flush a slight pink color, but not in the blushing kind of way. 

“come on, i’m starving. those lines got me wanting anything,” cole muttered as the group pushed themselves to the door. the five of them plus the three new girls walked down the sidewalk chatting about anything in hopes of taking their minds off food until they found something. 

“hey, you’re will, right?” the new voice caught the blonde off guard. 

to his right was one of the new girls in the group he didn’t really know. her name was along the lines of cassidy, but he wasn’t 100% sure. “yeah, that’s me,” he laughed lightly. 

“nice to finally meet you. i’m cassidy, but everyone calls me cass,” she held her hand out with a big smile. will stared at her outstretched hand for a moment, his mind running in circles. 

this could be his chance to finally forget about samy. he said he needed an distraction and this seemed like the perfect one. plus, what was the harm in a little flirting? he took her hand a moment later. 

“nice to meet you, too. you play for minnesota, right?” will wondered, watching cass’s eyes light up that he even knew that about her. 

“yeah, i do!” 

“you guys had a real good season. i was impressed,” her smile continued growing with will’s words. 

“yeah, we did. i mean, you guys were incredible, too. you dominated the ice,” she gushed a little making will flush. he knew people watched his games from all over the place, but he never paid much attention to all of that. 

not when he was always thinking about samy watching the livestream from her dorm room while cheering him on. wait. no. 

no. there was no samy. 

“thanks. it wasn’t always easy, but the fans made it worth it,” the boy hummed. cass grinned again, letting their conversation die into comfortable silence as they followed their group into a restaurant someone chose. 

the young hockey player spotted rutger and some of his buddies at a nearby table making him stop in his tracks for a second. he knew rut would be here, but he just hoped he’d manage to avoid him because he knew the older boy probably hated him knowing what happened between him and samy. 

some of the guys behind him pushed will forward again. his eyes glued themselves to where rutger sat in a laughing fit over what someone at his table said. the older boy held his chest, violently shaking from laughter and finally looked in will’s direction. the two met each other’s gazes and in a surprise gesture, rutger nodded toward the younger boy. 

that threw will off guard. he studied rut for a second longer until someone pushed him forward again and he landed in his seat. 

“woah, careful smitty. you okay?” james laughed a little as he walked around to his seat. the others glanced will’s way. 

“yeah, sorry. got a little distracted,” the blonde excused himself, eyes diverting to the menu to get the attention off of him. the others shrugged, returning to their conversation while will’s eyes stayed right on his menu. 

“what’s your favorite food?” cass’s voice filled will’s ears again. he looked up, her eyes already on him where she sat in the seat next to his. 

“anything, really. i tend to eat anything,” the boy mumbled with an awkward smile. 

“hey, i’m the same way. i’ve never been too picky about my food,” she returned his smile. 

“my sister’s a big picky eater. our mom was always making three different meals for the family because we were all eating different things,” the blonde chuckled as some of the nerves he had earlier started subsiding. 

the two quickly hit it off, having their own little conversations throughout lunch. will’s smile was big when cass laughed at the things he said and he laughed right back at her own corny jokes. it felt refreshing for the blonde. he suddenly didn’t have this heavy feeling in his chest anymore that he’s had since the end of may. this felt really good. 

but what did they say about good things? they never lasted long? something like that. 

will’s gaze would bounce over to where rutger still was every so often. the older boy was never looking in his direction when will looked, too occupied with his own conversations, but rut did glance over at the younger blonde when he wasn’t looking too. 

rut only heard bits and pieces about the breakup, but he knew samy was really hurt from all of it and while the older hockey player wasn’t one to involve himself in things that he wasn’t a part of, he couldn’t but watch what looked like will laugh a little too hard with that girl. 

sure, will could do whatever he wanted and rutger didn’t care. the boy did care, however, about the fact that it looked like will was trying to talk up a new girl not even two weeks after breaking up with samy. that bothered rutger because he knew if ethan or mark were here, they wouldn’t be afraid to go over and bitch at will. 

rutger’s subtle glances finally caught will’s. the blonde was in the middle of a conversation with cass when he caught the glance from the corner of his eye. rut was looking right a him with a look on his face that will knew wasn’t good. 

“you good?” cass wondered when she noticed will’s attention shift. 

the boy’s attention immediately snapped back to hers, “yeah, sorry. my bad. what was i saying?” his words rushed out together making him come off a bit nervous. 

“something about…sumer on a boat or something?” cass reminded him. 

“right, yes. yeah. so, as i was saying,” will’s mind couldn’t stop thinking about rutger’s look. it felt like a warning or..disapproval? disappointment? 

why could he never escape samy no matter how hard he tried? it was like she was everywhere. 

“every summer my family and i go to this lakehouse in michigan. my best friend and i—well, used to be best best friend would always stay up super late to see how many planets we could count. whoever counted the most by the end of the summer would buy one another something the other really wanted,” will hummed, somehow always finding ways to talk about samy without even realizing it. a small smile was on his lips at that memory because he was the one buying samy things by the end of the summer every time. 

“huh, that sounds interesting. aren’t the same planets always coming out at night though so how does that work?” cass’s expression became puzzled. 

will’s gaze snapped to hers, his face flushing again. “i mean, yeah, but different ones will come out and go away as the summer goes on. it was just some little thing..” the boy’s voice trailed off as he slowly realized that game only really made sense to him and samy because they were the ones who came up with it when they were younger. 

cass didn’t look too impressed though. the blonde’s eyes swept over to rutger again who wasn’t looking at him this time, but will still couldn’t get that look out of his head nor the fact that he talked about samy without even trying after trying so hard to forget about her this week. 

it seemed like everything will did or said led him straight back to samy. shit. 

who was he kidding? he couldn’t flirt with someone. he didn’t even know how to flirt because he never really had to with samy. 

cass’s attention drifted away from the boy and no one else was really looking at him, so will took that as his chance to excuse himself. he needed air or something to just get out of his fucking head. the boy scrambled out of his seat in a rushed goodbye, hurrying off to the bathroom before anyone could really bat an eye. 

rutger’s gaze fell on the younger boy as he retreated further back into the restaurant. he saw will’s friends glancing around for a moment before letting him be. the older brunette gazed one more time before saying fuck it and going after will. 

the blonde stumbled into the bathroom suddenly feeling hot. his hand clutched his chest where his heart wouldn’t stop pounding a bruise on the spot while his other hand grabbed ahold of the edge of the counter, bending over the sink as if he was going to puke. will squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that would slow his heart rate down, but it only heightened as his breathing picked up into heavy pants. 

“fuck, pull yourself together,” will mumbled to mostly himself. 

she’s not her. she’s not her. she’s not her. the stupid phrase replayed itself over and over in will’s mind. 

the bathroom door swung open with rutger rushing to will’s side when he saw the kid bent over the sink while panting. “jesus christ, will? are you okay?” the older brunette bent down to will’s level, trying to meet his eyes. 

“i can’t breathe,” will managed through his hyperventilating. 

rutger looked around, realizing no one else was in the bathroom with them. he wasn’t really an expert in this, never really having dealt with panic attacks before. 

“hey, yes you can. it’s okay. i’m here,” rutger tried his best, his attention back on will. 

“she’s not her,” now the blonde was crying. 

“what are you talking about?” the older hockey player grew confused. the heavy pants and now tears didn’t make it easy for him to understand what was being said. 

“she won’t ever be her. i fucked up, rut,” will got out a bit clearer this time. 

rutger quickly understood. 

“do you want me to call her? i can call her?” rut eased his tone, finishing for his phone in his pocket. 

“no, no. don’t,” will shook his head. he couldn’t call samy like this. plus, she didn’t want to speak to him ever again, making it very clear after blocking him on nearly everything. 

“will, i gotta call someone. you’re freaking me out,” the older boy said. 

“call gabe or ryan. i need to talk to them,” so rutger listened and searched his contacts until he landed on ryan’s number first. 

the phone rang three times until ryan finally answered. “rutger? what’s up?” the younger brunette sounded confused that the michigan hockey player was randomly calling him. 

“hey, sorry for the call. i-i’m with will. he’s..he’s having a panic attack i think. he wanted to talk to you,” rutger explained the situation, eyes on will who’s breathing began slowing down. 

“shit, is he okay?” ryan urged. 

“i-i think so? i don’t know. i’m not an expert in this,” rut held the phone out for will to take. 

the blonde’s shaky hand brought the phone up to his ear, “hey leno,” he managed weakly. 

“will? are you okay?” ryan’s voice was laced with concern. he never called will by his first name unless there was something serious going on. 

the guilt and shame quickly settled into will’s body. his eyes glanced to rutger standing beside him still and then his head fell. “i fucked up, ryan. i realize i fucked up now.” 

“what are you talking about?” ryan didn’t get it. 

“everything brings me back to her. no can be her no matter how hard i think they are or want them to be,” the blonde frowned deeply, especially because he was admitting this in front of one of samy’s closest guy friends. 

ryan didn’t need to ask twice who his friend was talking about while a pause came from his end as he digested will’s admission. rutger realized this seemed like a conversation he wasn’t a part of, so he just squeezed the blonde’s shoulder and nodded towards the door saying to just find him when will was done with his phone. 

“i’m gonna add gabe to the call, okay?” ryan finally said as will sunk down onto the ground. he didn’t care that the bathroom floor was incredibly disgusting because he could not go back out and face his friends out there without muttering some lame excuse about leaving. 

“uh, hey?” gabe connected a moment later, confused about why he was on a call with ryan and rutger mcgroarty. 

“hey, it’s me. will’s on the call with rutger’s phone,” ryan explained. 

“oh. is everything okay?” gabe wondered, still confused on what was happening. 

“i fucked up really bad. i know that now,” will said and gabe also didn’t have to ask twice about what his friend was talking about. 

“what made you finally come to this conclusion?” ryan asked, trying not to sound bitter. he knew will was having a hard time, but he would not forget samy showing up to his house in tears after their breakup. 

“i really, really thought i could just forget about her at the combine and just enjoy myself, but everytime i talk to someone, i always end up talking about her no matter how hard i try not to. she’s everywhere in my mind. i thought i could stupidly talk to this girl..be a distraction? i don’t know, but i think i just really wanted her to be samy instead,” will admitted sheepishly. 

“yeah..that happens after having such a history with someone,” gabe said. 

“i know i fucked up. you don’t need to keep telling me that. i feel like shit about it,” will scoffed, rolling his eyes a bit. 

“as much as i hate you for doing what you did and never wanting to see samy that hurt again, maybe you should talk to her,” ryan finally said, tone softening out. 

“i can’t talk to her even if i wanted to. she blocked me on everything almost immediately,” the blonde frowned. 

“look, we all make mistakes. it’s human nature. are you an asshole for hurting her? yes. am i still mad at you for it? yes. do i think you fucked up completely though? no. maybe give it some more time and then reach out. things are still fresh, emotions are still high. we all know samy and we know she doesn’t hold a grudge for that long,” gabe gave his two cents about it as well. 

“i wouldn’t blame her if she did hold a grudge for a while though,” ryan cut in. 

“jesus, shut up, leno. i get it,” the blonde rolled his eyes. 

“look, we’re always here for you, will. I’ll be in boston next, so i’ll see you and we can talk more, yeah?” gabe spoke again before ryan and will started fighting or something. 

“yeah, thanks. sorry for bothering you guys,” will frowned a bit. 

“don’t sweat it. love ya, smitty,” that made will smile again. 

“yeah, love you i guess. just try to have a good time for the rest of the week,” ryan said and will nodded even though they couldn’t see him. 

“thanks, love you guys too. talk later,” they hung up after that. 

will pushed himself back to his feet, splashing water on his face to hopefully get rid of his red and flushed cheeks. he carefully pushed the bathroom door back open, surveying the restaurant for rutger’s table. 

the boy made his way over, nudging rutger’s arm when he was closer. the older boy looked over, “thanks,” will said. 

“of course. you okay, now?” 

the blonde nodded. he glanced to his table where a few of the guys met his gaze, waving him over. he walked towards them, already having decided he wasn’t all that hungry anymore and just wanted to be alone for a bit. 

“there you are! you good?” zeev asked seeing his friend. 

“yeah, not feeling too well. i think i’m gonna head back. sorry,” will muttered out his excuse. 

“oh, okay. feel better man. text me,” zeev said and will nodded before making his exit. 

he didn’t even look cassidy’s way. the only girl on his mind was samy and it was gonna stay like that for a long time. 

[writingroom21]

Seeing the ghost face reader just inspired me with something. Imagine shy introverted reader (she's like fluttershy if you watched my little pony) nerdy pouge reader where she is sarah’s bestie who has a massive crush on rafe but doesn't show it but when he starts saying something really bad to Sarah (I don't know what) reader loses it inside since she can't show it so later that night she secretly goes to race room quietly while he's asleep wakes him up by slapping his face hard (he wont mind since he's always found reader hot) reader is secretly a dom as they have hardcore sex

Like A Virgin

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex(wrap it up), cream pie, overstimulation, chocking, oral (m receiving), (let me know if I missed any)

Wc: 3.2K

A/N: I'm loving all the requests I've been getting! Keep them coming! I'm getting through them as fast as I can, so sorry if it take a while. I also just started my new job so I have to figure out a writing schedule. So please bare with me, I will get to them

“What the fuck Rafe! Why do you always have to start something? He’s my boyfriend, he can be here.” Sarah’s voice echoes through the halls.You had just walked through the back door to get a drink. She had invited the pogues over for a pool day, you’ve all been outside all day. From the moment you had gotten there you could tell something was off.

Sarah was tense and a little short, apologizing straight after and blaming it on being tired. You would believe her if it wasn’t for the dark looming shadow that was Rafe Cameron. He was lurking around, making sly comments, objectifying your’s and Kie’s body. He knew better than to try with Cleo, she would kill him in his sleep in a heartbeat. There was definitely something going on because even if he normally is a dick, he would have quit by now.

You’ve been Sarah’s friend for ages, the only person she never actually tried to push away. It was shocking for everyone because she’s always been out going while you kept to yourself. Instead of making friends you were reading not wanting to be bothered by the other kids. Then one day Sarah came up to you and forced you out of your shell.From then on the two of you were attached by the hip, always together. She never onced judged you for being a pogue even when all her kook friends made fun of you.

They saw you as an easy target. The shy, poor, bookworm pogue who hangs off the kook princess with a vice grip. She would always defend you, telling them off. Even going as far as getting into an argument with Rafe about you. He wasn’t always a dick to you, at first he was even nice? If you could even use that word but when he started to do drugs he became a different person.

You’ve spent countless hours in this house and viewing how the family dynamic works. They sometimes tend to forget that you are there, your quietness hiding you from their view. You’ve seen how Rafe can get, yelling and making a mess of things. How Ward neglects his eldest and youngest for Sarah and so on. The family has a complicated relationship that’s for sure, but you knew something was wrong.

Now you can see what was wrong, it was all of you. “No, I don't want filthy pogues in my house. They are nothing but low lives Sarah. If you want to ruin your life fine but don’t drag the rest of us down.” Rafe’s voice booms over hers. “Ahhhh you are so crazy. You are literally the worst. I just wanted to have a good time with my friends. Why can’t you just be a normal brother for once?” Sarah storms off running into you on her way back outside. 

“Hey did you?” She points behind her and you just nod. “I’m sorry.” You give her a quick hug and she goes back outside. Entering the kitchen you see Rafe texting on his phone leaning on the counter. He looks up at you and rolls his eyes. “What do you want, pogue?”  You ignore the venom that was laced in his words. Doing what you always do, biting your tongue afraid of the confrontation's consequences. “Fucking spit it out, stop being such a baby.” With a deep breath you do.

“Maybe you should try being nicer to people. Sarah’s your sister and you treat her like shit.” Rafe scoffs as you get water from the fridge. “If I wanted advice I wouldn’t go to someone who’s poor. You and your criminal friends are just a waste of space.” He watches as you walk away, looking back to say one last thing today. “Don’t you find it funny how Sarah actually has friends. You’re still hanging out with high schoolers because everyone hates you. Maybe it's time to change and grow up.”

He left you alone after that. The rest of the afternoon was peaceful and filled with fun. At first you were scared of what he would say or do. You expected him to actually run out after you and start yelling. But nothing happened. Sarah had ordered you all pizzas and set up the movies in the living room. Everyone ate and walked as the movies played in the background. As it got later, the sun died, sleeping until it is brought to life once again in the morning. Mostly everyone was asleep, Kie and Sarah chatted and you chimed in time for time. But soon the sounds of Kie’s voice faded and became nothing. 

“Sarah?” The sound of blankets indicates that someone is moving around.”Yeah?” There’s so much you want to say, tell her so she knows you are there for you. But none of them seem good enough. “Are you okay?” You hear a sigh and more shuffling. Sarah plops her pillow and blanket next to you, laying down, she finally answers. “I guess.”

“It must be tough when he acts like that. I’m sorry you don’t deserve this.” Usually you don’t really comment on these things. Rafe is an iffy topic for Sarah. After he tried to kill her, she finds it hard to even look at him. She wants to help him because he’s her brother but at the same time she doesn’t recognize him. You don’t like to pick at the sore wound so you tend to just lend a comforting hand. “It’s always kinda been like this, the drugs just make it worse.” She pauses, taking a deep breath. “I still remember when we were little and I was so scared of a thunderstorm that he held me the whole night. Told me that he would always be there to protect me because he was my big brother, he loved me. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that, I don’t know who he is.”

You hand finds hers over the blankets, squeezing her fingers. “Sometimes people get lost. Some get help and find their way while the others continue on the never ending path. It sucks that you can’t do anything, he won’t let you. If it makes you feel better I think that part of him is still in there somewhere, he just hasn’t had the chance to show it.” 

Her fingers squeeze yours back. “I hope so.” Sarah fell asleep shortly after that conversation, leaving you to lay there and think. You think back to when you were young, Rafe seemed normal then. Sure he had some quirks but what child doesn’t. He would always hold the door for you everywhere you went. Ward would have you tag along on outings since he felt bad seeing your face after Sarah would tell you about something cool they did. There were also moments when he would try to make you smile, the little boy just wanted to make you happy. 

At that time Rafe was okay with having you around, if you twisted it out of him he might even say excited. That didn’t last long because their mother died and with her she took the last last bit of hope he ever had. He never truly felt safe again knowing that the person he loved the most was just gone. The outburst was the first sign he wasn’t okay, yet Ward ignored it. Then it was the violence, once again ignored. Finally the drugs got him the attention he was looking for. All for him to hear what he always knew. “You’re a fucking disappointment Rafe. Knew it from the moment I laid eyes on you.” From then on out the world was dead to him, he only needed to focus on himself. Everyone else is the enemy. 

Sarah’s words keep replaying in your head. Why can’t Rafe see he’s hurting people? You get why he shut you out, even when you were crushed and cried, you understood. But he can’t do it anymore to his own sister. Without thinking your body makes a mistake. It carries you up the stairs and straight into his room. The sounds of the door shutting wakes him up, he rubs his eyes trying to process what woke him. He opens his eyes just in time to see your hand in the air and strikes his cheek with your palm. 

“What the fuck.” He had to take a second to fully realize that you just slapped him. “What is your problem? Can’t you just be nice to people.” He sits up on the bed and you try to push him back down but he catches your hands. “Me be nice? You just walked into my room while I was sleeping just so you could fucking slap me. How about you be nice.” You struggle to get his grip off of you to no avail, he was holding on tight.

“I’ve been nice since the first time I met you. Kept my mouth shut when you did fucked up shit. Stop ruining your life and the life of others.” His eyes are piercing yours, his hold somehow tighter. “Maybe you should keep it shut, I like it better when you aren’t talking.” He pulls you closer, your knee catching you on the bed so you don’t fall. 

He’s staring at your lips, licking his to wet them. You go to argue with him but he cuts you off. “Come on. I bet a filthy pogue like you could think of ways to put it to better use.” One of his hands that was holding yours lowers. He stops once he feels your fingers brush against the bulge that’s forming in his boxers. The ignorant smirk that always bestows his face makes its way back.

Yanking your hand back, you slap him again, the smirk falling. Once again without thinking your body makes mistake two of the night. You kiss him. Pulling on the chain that lays around his neck, smashing your lips to his. Your other arms wrap around his neck, the hand holding the chain twists, closing it slightly. If this was a mistake then you can beg for forgiveness later, absolving your sins can wait. 

He just tasted too good to stop.

His hands go to your waist, pulling you onto his lap. “I knew you had a thing for me.” If this was your childhood you then there would be no room for arguing. The person you are in this moment doesn’t want to admit how true it is. You have seen how bad of a person he’s become and you know you would lose Sarah if she ever found out. “Do you even know how to keep your mouth shut? For once shut the fuck up.”

From the corner of your eye you see his belt laying on the floor in a pile of his clothes from earlier. Leaning over the side of the bed, you grab it and return to your previous position. “What are you doin” You kiss him to stop him from talking further, hands slowly pulling him over his head. The motion of you grinding down on him was enough to distract him from the feeling of the belt wrapping around his wrists and headboard. 

When you pull back and sit on his lap he goes to chase your lips just to be blocked by the fact his hands are tied. “What the fuck. Get these off.” The headboard rattles against the wall as he struggles to break loose. “Take these off right now or else.” Rafe’s tone is threatening but you can’t help but to laugh at the sight in front of you. The guy who’s been terrorizing your friend group is all vulnerable underneath you. “Or else, what? I’ll just leave you like this, maybe even take off the boxers so whoever finds you will realize you got played.” You scoot back to sit on his thighs.

“What do you think about that, huh Rafe? Personally, the idea of Ward finding you like that is hilarious. Better yet I’ll take a picture of you and post it everywhere, let everyone see the mean old Rafe Cameron as nothing else than a pussy.” Your teasing is accompanied by your fingers grazing over the bulge in his boxers. Rafe wants nothing more than to cuss you out right now. Make you regret even thinking that you could get one over on him.

The twitching in his boxers gives him away. He’s enjoying it. The big scary man that has a whole island afraid of him is enjoying the way you talk down on him. “You like that don’t you? You are a pussy, you know that right?” Your hand grips him tight, a whimper forced out of him. “Stop.” The words are weak and a contrast to how his hips are bucking up into your hand. Feeling generous you lower the boxers, taking his dick in your mouth without warning.

Rafe lets out a sigh when he feels the warmth of your mouth wrap around him. He goes to thrust into your mouth and you pull back, hands pushing his hips back down. “Do that again and I’ll leave you here to be found. I’m not kidding Rafe.” He nods at you, wincing as your nails dig into his skin. “Words.”

He looks down at you and can’t recognize who you are. Where has this side of you been hiding? He’s only ever known you as Sarah’s shy best friend. Yet the person in front of him looks like you but doesn’t act like you. “I get it. Fuck when were you like this?” From this view he looks so pretty.

His cheeks are a shade of pink from blushing, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He looks good enough to fuck. If he took time to see what you were reading he would see that you’ve always been like this. You just never advertised it like he does. “Always have been. Maybe if you were nicer to people you would know that.” His eyes close when you go back to sucking him off. They scrunch up when he isn’t getting the satisfaction he’s looking for. You are barely even sucking.

It’s more as if he’s in your mouth and you are moving up and down on it. There’s no suction or hand to facilitate your movements. Not enough pressure for him to feel good, in fact he just feels frustrated. Your ears perk up when you hear his little groans and whimpers. “What’s wrong? Is it not good?” The words yes are on the tip of his tongue, they died as soon as his eyes met yours. There’s this defiant look in them, as if you want him to tell you somethings wrong. “No no it’s okay. Great”

You give him a smile. “Good boy.” The moans he lets out to your words are chocked on when you actually start to blow him. Rafe is no virgin that’s for sure, but god damn he feels like one right now. This has got to be one of the best blowjobs he’s ever received, scratch that it is the best. “Please.” He sounds pathetic and it makes you speed up. Rafe physically chokes on air from the sudden change, his body convulsing.

He keeps letting out these moans that sound whiny and a mix of pain. The way that he twitches in your mouth just confirms he’s close. Crystal blue eyes open to see why you stopped. Even in the dark his eyes are still beautiful, it’s not fair. Rafe watches as you slip out of your sleep shorts and panties, then you shirt. Leaving you fully exposed since you didn’t wear a bra.

Taking your panties, you crawl up to hover over his lap. He looks up at you ready to ask you to finally fuck him but you took him by surprise by shoving your panties in his mouth. “Hold this for me baby. Maybe that will finally shut you up.” The two of you stare into the others eyes as you sink down on him. Just from sucking him off you were soaked so he easily slid in. It was a good thing you muffled him. The moan he let out was so loud that it could still be heard, you had to cover his mouth just to stop the sound.

“God you act like a fucking virgin. Thought you were the kook king who could get anyone he wanted.” Rafe’s head was pinning, everything you are doing is making him so confused. He’s usually the one fucking, even when the girls on top he controls everything. Having you come in here and just fuck him as if he’s there for you is mind fucking. When he’s pictured this exact moment it was with you under him, screaming and clawing at his back as he fucked the shit out of you.

This is not how your first time should have gone. It’s the wrong way around yet it felt amazing.

Sweat is forming on your skin, the moonlight reflecting off of it. Your body is on overdrive, bouncing up and down. There is a tingle in your lower abdomen, a sign of your impending orgasim. As the feeling slowly crocendos, your body leans forward. You place the hand that was covering his mouth on his throat. The squeeze of your hand has his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

He’s so close to cumming, can feel it running from his fingertips to his arms that you have tied. He practically cries when you finally cum, your walls pulsating around him, triggering his own orgasim. You let go of his throat, wiping the tears from his eyes and shushing him. “It’s okay. You did so good.” He sobs around your panties, sucking the fabric lightly to ground himself. The way you keep slowly bouncing is killing him, he’s ready to pass out from the sensation. 

Looking down to see where the two of you were connected was his first mistake of the night. The sight alone sent him into another smaller orgasim, his body thrashing from the overstimulation. You pull yourself up and fall down next to him. After a few minutes of not talking to catch your breaths, Rafe tries to speak. Looking over at him you can see he’s staring at you, leaning up you take your panties out of his mouth and slip them back on.

“Are you going to untie me now?” You smile at him and give him a short kiss. Getting up you gather your clothes and put them on. “This isn’t funny untie me or I’ll tell everyone you fucked me.” You walk over to the side of the bed he occupied, leaning to grab the belt holding his arms. Dipping your head to his ears you whisper to him. “Really think anyone would believe you?”

You move back watching his face drop when you walk further towards the door. “Think of this as payback for all my years of silence.” You shrug and open the door. “I’ll get you back for this.” With one last look at him you smirked.

“I hope so.”

[snwvie]

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬. gojo, geto and nanami

☽｡⋆ — 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

he bursts into the room, all dramatic flair, announcing he could ‘practically smell the heavens opening up!’

"you shouldn't have! but since you did..." he'd declare, snagging a (ridiculously large) portion and devouring it in a single bite with a flourish.

he snatches a piece of kikufuku from your hand, declares it the 'pinnacle of human achievement,' and insists you feed him more while showering you with exaggerated praise.

gojo would insist on sharing your treats with everyone at jujutsu high, declaring them 'too good to keep secret.'

despite everything, gojo would be genuinely touched by the gesture. he might subtly brag about your skills to others, hinting it wouldn't hurt to show their appreciation too (wink wink).

☽｡⋆ — 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

geto's initial reaction is surprise. he'll enter the room, expecting his usual cup of tea, and be met with the heavenly aroma of freshly baked goods. a single, surprised eyebrow raise is all you get at first.

he approaches the table cautiously, as if expecting a hidden curse technique. but upon seeing your creation (perfectly formed mochi, perhaps?), a small smile graces his lips.

"these look delicious, y/n," he says, his voice a touch softer than usual. he takes a bite, savoring the flavor with a thoughtful expression.

unlike gojo, geto wouldn’t go on a spree to praise you, he appreciates the sentiment more than the grand gesture. he'll thank you sincerely, his voice low and rumbling. maybe even offer a small compliment about your baking skills.

don't expect him to share. geto sees these treats as a personal offering, a sign of your regard for him. he'll savor them in private, a small pleasure in his otherwise serious world.

☽｡⋆ — 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

nanami walks in, sees the (beautifully decorated) mochi on the table, and raises an eyebrow. "y/n?" he asks, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

you explain, a little flustered, that you know he prefers homemade lunches. he stares at the onigiri for a moment longer than necessary, then lets out a small sigh. "i appreciate it," he mutters, avoiding your gaze.

don't expect any grand pronouncements or dramatic flourishes. nanami isn't one for theatrics. but as he takes a bite, a satisfied expression flickers across his face for a brief moment.

he'll probably eat half and save the rest for later. expect to find the other half neatly wrapped and placed in his lunchbox the next day. it's his way of showing he appreciates the gesture, subtle but sincere.

later, while reading a book, he might glance at you and offer a curt, "thank you again." that's nanami's way of expressing his (rare) gratitude.

divider by @/saradika-graphics

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[enthusiasticharry]

I also might have a few ideas of a few scenes that take place between each of the years (maybe even one from Harry’s POV of when he realised his love for governess!yn!)

Ah this sounds so good!! Write it babee!!

I may have an idea (if you are comfortable writing smut) like they have sex for the first time after giving birth to nathaniel and she is lil insecure cause after her pregnancy thinks that Harry may not like her body and all

orrr a domestic day were H makes breakfast for everyone and nathaniel is 2 or 3 years old and they all spend time together??

I don't know if it's a good idea but write anything I will read about them!!💗

Suffer in Silence

Daisies (Part One) ; Edelweiss (Part Two)

summary: after the birth of YN and Harry's first child, YN finds herself struggling to believe that Harry still desires her and he wants to prove that is not the case.

author's note: a lil extra for the governess!yn universe!!thank you so much for this ask!! the second that I saw it I knew that I had to write it for them!! the second request is certainly in the works, so watch out for that in the future!!!

word count: 3.2k

warnings: smut, discussion of body image postpartum.

Pregnancy was a beautiful thing.

YN was never, ever in her life going to dispute that. It was, as far as she believed, one of the most beautiful things that a woman could do. The fact that beyond their scientific knowledge, the body was prepped and able to change and adapt to protect a child that was made (in YN’s case especially) as a result of the love between her and her husband. It was completely astonishing to her, and she would never change that experience for anything in the world. No matter the sickness she experienced, the tumultuous changes in her emotions or the constant fatigue that wracked her body – YN would do it all over again for Nathaniel.

He was the missing piece to a puzzle that YN did not even know she needed. He brought life and light into the family, and more importantly, love. The way that Noah and Norah had accepted Nate into their lives, and even more so the way he brought them so much closer together. They were a family, and no matter what YN had endured to get here, she would never change it for the world.

Every woman experienced pregnancy differently and YN would never, ever dispute that fact. Her pregnancy had not been easy, but Nate was the reward. A very beautiful, charming reward.

The only way that YN could describe how she felt now was that something was missing within her. She would never blame Nate for this – he was the newly found light in her life. However, she would certainly be lying if she said that Nate’s pregnancy had not changed her in certain ways.

To YN, the change that had recently become too difficult for her to ignore was her body. The one (more reasonable) part of her brain continued to remind her that her body had done a wonderful thing, it had grown their son, kept him safe for nine months and then helped welcome him safely into the world. The other part, the one that held centre stage right now as she stood in front of her mirror was what plagued her.

Her stomach, which had been stretched to accommodate Nate in his growing had not returned straight away to its normal state (which YN had not expected at all) but now that Nathaniel was nearing five months, she thought there would be some sort of normality returned. Instead, there was still loose skin and greying lines which held a pink hue (not as prominent as when she was pregnant, but still there) littering her stomach, hips, and thighs.  Her breasts, fuller than they had before had their own lines which reminded her daily of their change also. Again, there was the rational part of her brain that tried to remind her that her breasts had changed to be able to feed their child, but her brain often could not focus on that.

YN’s head was tipped as she looked herself up and down, her body bare apart from the dressing gown that rested upon her shoulders. It was difficult to focus on the benefits of the changes to her body, especially when the only word she could think of when she looked at herself was ugly.

She could not stop those thoughts, even more so when she tormented herself with the ideas of what would happen if Harry were to see her in such a state.

Before the pregnancy, and even during, Harry had always been remarkably touchy with YN. It was as though there was a pull that meant that a part of his body always had to be touching hers – whether that was a hand in hers, an arm over her waist as they slept or knees touching as they sat side by side. YN, once these thoughts had settled within her brain, found it difficult to shake them. It meant that, without necessarily thinking of the effect of such, she had pulled away from Harry in these last few months.

It had meant that when their nights had once been filled with soft kisses and lingering touches now found both of them falling asleep with a gap big enough for another person between them. It frightened YN, as much as it upset her. She had no way of knowing whether or not they would return to normal, or if there would be a point in which YN was comfortable enough to be that way with Harry again.

She had not even realised within her thoughts, as she stared at herself in the mirror that tears had begun to fall. They were light, but they were there.

YN sighed, shaking her head, and pulling her dressing gown closed, and that was when Harry opened the door to their bedchamber. YN gasped, watching as his eyes moved from hers down her body until meeting hers once more.

“What is it?” Harry stepped further into the room, closing the door behind him, immediately noticing her tear-stained cheeks, “What is wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” YN shook her head, pulling the fasten of her dressing gown tighter to her body, “I am just tired, I think. It is nice to have a child-free evening I suppose, as much as I miss them.”

“I would not worry about them,” Harry shook his head, moving even closer towards YN, “My mother is probably spoiling them rotten, and you know how much Nate lights up when Nana is around.”

YN smiled, but she could not help when that smile dropped the second Harry grabbed her hand, spinning her around so that they were looking into the mirror. He wrapped his arm around her waist, YN gasping when she felt the weight of him on her body. His head dropped to her shoulder, pressing a kiss to the exposed skin of her neck (which she guessed was still his favourite place to be).

“We have not had a night alone in the five months since Nate was born,” Harry mumbled into the skin of her neck, “I want to know what has upset you so much.”

“Nothing,” YN shook her head, hoping that Harry would believe her, “I am just missing the children, that is all.”

“Now, whilst I know that is partly true… I also know that you are keeping something from me.”

YN turned her head slightly, looking up at Harry with tears in her eyes once more, “I am sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” Harry asked, lifting one of his hands to brush YN’s hair off her face, “You have nothing to apologise for.”

“No, I do,” YN nodded, placing her hand upon Harry’s, “I have been distant, and I have been cold and I…”

“YN, stop it,” Harry shook his head, “You just had a child. I know that I do not come first to Nate, or to Noah and Norah – I know that. You do not need to apologise for that.”

“But, it is my fault that I cannot be with you in the way that you need,” YN shook her head, “That is my fault. It is my fault that you no longer have a wife that you desire.”

Harry went silent, and it was as though all of the worries that YN had felt were finally confirmed. She thought she would cry even more, but she felt more content than anything.

Then she did not feel that way anymore.

“Is that truly what you think?” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, and then a look of hurt crossed his features, “That I do not desire you anymore?”

“How can you? I do not blame you; I would not desire myself with how I look right now.”

 Harry sighed and shook his head. It was then that a look of what can only be described as anger crossed his features. His finger lightly tapped YN’s cheek, moving her head so that she was facing herself in the mirror again.

“You truly think I do not desire you?” YN nodded as Harry sighed once more, “YN… you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon. God, I do not even know where to start. Those eyes of yours… you always say that my eyes are your home, but yours are mine. The soft skin of your cheeks, I would nestle my lips into them constantly if I knew it was not proper to do so. And… your lips. YN, how I lasted so long in my life without your lips I will never know, but if you think now that I have experienced them I would ever let them go – you are sorely mistaken.”

The tears that were collecting in YN’s eyes now were not because of her feelings but of the effect of Harry’s words. The look in Harry’s eye told YN that he was far from finished, but what else that man could say she had no idea.

His fingers drifted from her cheek down her neck, lightly running his fingertip from the bottom of her ear downwards until it met the nape of her neck, and then he smiled once more.

“Now, your neck,” Harry chuckled slightly from behind her, “You know the love I have for your neck, and how if I could live there, I most certainly would.”

YN chuckled from the side of him, “That would be a most terrible inconvenience.”

“You are calling me an inconvenience now? I see how it is,” Harry’s words have a slight teasing edge to them, and she knew that it would not end there.

It was then that YN truly realised the extent to which her words had annoyed him. It seemed that no matter what he was to say next, the fact that he had to utter those words was enough for YN’s chest to start heaving. His attack continued, his fingers moving down the exposed skin of her neck and collarbone until it landed upon the thin material of her nightgown. YN gasped slightly, worry crossing her features immediately at what his next step was to be.

“YN,” His fingers moved from the hem of her nightgown to the material further down, inching closer and closer to the tie that held the gown closed. YN immediately dropped her hands upon his, stopping his movements from continuing.

“I will disgust you, Harry,” YN shook her head, “I do not look the same as I did before.”

“I do not want you to look the same as you did before,” Harry shook his head, “You could never disgust me, YN. Your body has changed and as a result of that change, we have Nate. I cannot even fathom it; I swear to you. You would never disgust me, YN I am in awe of you.”

It was as though all of the worries that had accumulated within YN’s veins dissipated the second he said those words, and she almost felt a sense of relief. Her body dropped backwards, relishing the feeling of Harry’s body against hers. Harry’s eyes found YN’s again, and all it took was one nod of YN’s head his hands moved to the tie of her nightgown. With a quick pull of the bow, the material grew loose around her body. As Harry moved to pull the material from his body, his fingers grazed the skin of her stomach and whilst she tried not to wince she found it difficult not to do so.

“You are beautiful,” Harry pulled the material so it fell from her body, exposing her to him, “And if you think I do not, that I cannot desire you just the way that you are you are sorely mistaken.”

YN exhaled a breath, “You do not have to lie.”

“I am not lying,” Harry’s words are soft but stern – as though he is truly attempting to make sure she sees herself the way that he does, “Your breasts, YN if I did not already think they were magnificent then seeing what they can do to feed our son, that would have sealed the deal for me.”

YN gasped as his hands planted themselves upon her breasts. The touch was light, but it was enough for YN’s body to reel. Her breasts were more tender than they had been before, and Harry seemed to know just that. His feather-light touch moved from the expanse of her breasts downwards towards her stomach, where they wrapped around her body once more.

“I do know how anybody would find the place that kept their child safe undesirable,” Harry whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to the skin of her neck, “It may not look the same, but who is to care? I love you and every part of you, and I always will. Nothing could stop me from such.”

YN sighed, watching Harry’s eyes in the mirror move down her body. That look, the want and dare she say desire that his eyes held made her prior thoughts almost laughable. She could not believe that she ever allowed herself to think such things. It was then that his touch continued, moving further and further down until it slipped between her thighs. YN gasped, unable to take her eyes away from the scene unravelling in the mirror before her.

“I gave you your space, as I wished for you to recover,” Harry mumbled, his teeth skimming the skin on her neck ever so lightly, “But if you think that I did not wish, did not dream of the moment that I was allowed to see you in such a state again you are truly mistaken. I missed every part of this, of seeing you, of feeling you.”

YN gasped when his finger slipped between her folds, finding its place where she needed it the most. Harry loved to tease her, especially in the bedroom and yet today there was none of that. He was worshipping her. He was worshipping every part of her body and proving to her that what he had said had not been a lie, no matter how much her mind had tried to convince her of such.

His finger began to circle her clit, gently before continuing down. YN gasped out, reaching to grasp his arm as he pushed his finger inside of her.

Of course, she had missed Harry in this way. It was as though once she had been given a taste, it was hard to go without it for so long. But, as Harry continued to work his fingers inside of her, the palm of his hand rubbing against her clit with every movement – she was shocked at how long it had truly been since she had felt this way, how long it had been since they had been with each other in this way.

“Harry,” She gasped once more, her nails digging into his arm. The thin material of his shirt did little to stop the feeling.

“I know, I know,” Harry nodded, nudging her head with his slightly so that she turned to him.

It was immediately that his lips found hers with such a force. YN whined slightly into his mouth as he removed his fingers from her, but it was not for long. Harry placed his hands on the small of her, spinning her around quickly. YN’s fingers found their rightful place in the hair at the nape of Harry’s neck, tugging slightly as he moved his hands down to the back of her thighs. He parted them, and with a quick tap, she knew what to do. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around Harry’s waist.

Their lips never parted as Harry skilfully carried her towards the bed. She landed on the bed with a slight thud, causing a giggle to emit from her lips. Harry’s gaze never left hers as he pulled his shirt open, and she was pretty sure that buttons went flying off in every direction of the room but at this point, she did not care. His trousers were next, and YN’s teeth sunk into her lip. If she needed one last reason to believe that he still desired her, he was giving it to her right now.

“Come here,” YN mumbled, spreading her legs slightly in hopes of inviting him to her, “No teasing tonight.”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Harry jested, with a raise of his eyebrow – but he still obliged her request, “I promise I will not.”

YN smiled. Harry’s hands rested by her head on the mattress, and YN rested hers on his shoulders. He gave her one last look, and the second that she nodded her head he pushed inside of her. YN gasped, pushing her body forward to connect her lips to his again. His thrusts were slow and gentle, as if not to hurt her but the second that she moved her hands down from his shoulders, and along his spine until they reached the curve of his bum, they began to speed up. YN moaned into Harry’s mouth, her nails digging into his peachy flesh.

Harry groaned into her mouth, a smile toying on his lips. As his hips started to move quicker, and hers joined him – all she could feel was him. All she could feel was his touch, his body, his love. It was all-possessing, and YN would not change it for the world.

“Harry… I’m –” YN gasped, pulling away from his lips to throw her head back in response to the pleasure he was causing her.

Once her eyes had closed, and his hips continued at their fast pace she had truly lost himself to him. At this point, there was no return for her. In a state where she did not feel truly like herself, Harry had pulled her immediately out of that. Harry watched her parted lips, her closed eyes, and her heaving chest.

She was beautiful to him and there would never, ever be a point that she was not.

“It is okay,” Harry dropped his head down so he could kiss her neck, and mumbled his words of encouragement into his ear, “It is okay, I promise you.”

YN gasped once more, her hands moving back towards his shoulders. She was sure that her nails were digging the ever-prominent crescent moons into his skin, but neither of them seemed to care at all. When she tightened around him, he groaned into her neck. It was as though neither of them could hold back on the pleasure that the other was giving, and it was enough for them.

It was as though once YN’s orgasm washed over her, Harry’s came soon after. They were always together, coaxing each other through the feeling – neither one of them moving too quickly without the other. It reminded her that whatever she needed, he was always there to help her and move her along. Whenever she tumbled, he was there to catch her.

This was love. This was the love that they deserved from one another, with one another.

Harry collapsed on top of her, moving to the side ever so gently to not squash her, but they still stayed as close to one another as they possibly could. YN smiled and accepted the light kiss that Harry placed on her lips.

“If you ever feel this way again, I want you to tell me,” Harry spoke, lifting his hand to run against her cheek lightly, “I do not want you to suffer in silence ever again.”

YN nodded lightly, “I will not.”

“I need you to promise me, YN,” Harry’s eyes were laced with concern for her now, “I love you.”

“I promise,” YN nodded, pressing another light kiss to his lips, “I love you.”  

[pink-heart-writes]

I'm so tired of reading comments of people saying "move on" as if they have any fucking clue of what I've been through in the last 5 months. Writing about it gives me comfort since I cannot lean onto anyone around me. The life I was supposed to have with who I thought was the love of my life, won't exist. So let me fucking grieve and feel the pain. A divorce and having to be a single mom when that was not the plan at all destroys a part of you completely, so let me feel it and let it go when I feel ready to. I know I will be fine and in due time I will stop writing on here and I'll be completely healed, but until then don't assume I'm not moving on. Expressing how it felt or feels at the moment is a step towards acceptance and healing. So let people grieve however they want to, and for however long they need to. Pain is different for everyone.