#ew no uhh let’s think here

[hillerheightsfanpage]

Hiller Heights Ships i like bc I’m devastated with the Kit/Zeon news:

Elizabeth x Lanie : they are gay as HELL bro

Caroline x Miguel (canon) : they’re very cute but a lil cringe still love them though

Mary Ellen x Z : they make fun of Willa together for sure

Zeon x Grace : yall hear me out….

[sicbaby]

Secret Admirer

dark!gf!ethan landry x fem!reader

based on this request

Contents: 18+ smut, obsession, mentions of blood, other bodily fluids :), ghostface calls y/n, cream pie, no protection used, lil bit of non con, lil bit of breeding kink, brief knife play, ethan is a perv

You were a freshman at Blackmore this year. You had moved from your small town and straight into New York City, desperately trying to get away from the people in your hometown. You loved it here, in New York. You were roommates with Mindy Meeks-Martin, quickly becoming close with her and her group of friends. You were thankful to have such a supportive group of people in your circle. You also felt safe knowing Chad and Ethan were right across the alley, their windows facing yours.

You even had a secret admirer. You didn’t know who it was, but their gifts were super sweet and made you blush. At first, you started receiving flowers, chocolates, and sometimes there would be a cute little note attached.

Mindy was suspicious, immediately. She would tell you to discard the gifts every single time you received one. You tried to convince her at first that it was totally harmless, but she wouldn’t buy it. You told her you would start throwing them away, but you were actually keeping them and hiding them under your bed instead. You secretly loved them.

One morning you were sitting in the kitchen, right before your morning classes that day. Mindy came in from retrieving the mail, and drops an envelope in front of you. She doesn’t say anything, but gives you a disappointed look. You open it up, and it reveals a CD. the handwriting on it was neat, and it read, “a playlist for you <3.” The handwriting was not familiar to you.

“Aww, this is so cute…” you mumbled, staring at the CD with awe.

“Cute?” Mindy asks. “That’s a whole CD. You know whoever sent that had to like, do manual labor to make that playlist? Old man vibes!” She jokes.

“It’s not an old man. I think this is really sweet, you know? They took the time to burn songs on a CD for me..”

Mindy just rolls her eyes at that. “Okay, well, now we gotta listen to it. What if it’s not even music? What if it’s… something bad…”

“Something bad? What do you mean?” you question her. She looks off to the side, suddenly growing nervous.

“Uhh, nothing… I don’t know. Just looking out for you. Is that a crime?” Mindy replies.

You roll your eyes this time, and get off of the stool you were sitting on and go to your CD player. You insert the disk and press play.

You and Mindy were sat on the floor of your bedroom, listening carefully. Then, a song starts playing through the room, and Mindy lets out a sigh of relief once she realizes it’s just music. However, you, on the other hand, were speechless. This was your favorite song. How could your secret admirer possibly have known that? You quickly start flipping through the different songs, a total of 12 on the disk. You were shocked, all of these songs were near and dear to your heart.

“What? What’s wrong?” Mindy asks, noticing your frozen state.

“Mindy… these songs.. these are my favorite songs!” You exclaim.

“Turn it off, y/n. We’re going to the police.” Mindy gets up, her hands in the air as of to say she was surrendering.

“The police?” You almost laugh. “Mindy, it’s ok, it’s just.. how did they know that?” A minute of silence goes between you two, and you start laughing.

“Y/n, this isn’t funny.” Mindy crosses her arms.

“Someone is fucking with me, right? This isn’t Chad, is it?” You laugh even more.

Mindy gags a bit. “Ew, god, I fucking hope not. I’d kill him and then myself.”

You laugh at Mindy, your worry slowly fading away, thinking this was just one of your friends messing with you. You were unsure about Mindy’s actions, however. Why did she want to go to the police so quickly? Did she know something that you didn’t? Whatever, you thought. It must be nothing.

At lunch, you were sat with everybody. Mindy, Chad, Anika, Tara, Quinn, and Ethan. You guys were at a picnic table, enjoying the free period you all had. You wanted to tell the group about the CD so bad, but decided to keep it in, afraid you’ll embarrass yourself, or the person who was sending the gifts. It had to be someone close, though.

Everyone was involved in conversation, besides you and Ethan. Being the quieter of the group, you guys liked to observe and listen to the rest of your friends. However, you felt Ethan’s eyes on you the whole time. His leg was bouncing up and down restlessly, like he was nervous or anxious about something.

“You okay?” you ask him as you place a hand on his leg, trying to stop his bouncing.

He stills completely, staring at you like a deer in headlights, before looking down at the hand on his leg. You quickly pull away, realizing how long you had your hand on his leg for. “Sorry,” you say sheepishly.

“Uh- no! Don’t worry. I’m fine. Just got a test next class.” He laughs awkwardly, and you smile at how cute he is. You’ve always thought he was so cute, but you would never tell anyone, Mindy would never let you live it down.

Ethan, on the other hand, was hoping, wishing, praying, that you would talk about the CD. Talk about your secret admirer. Say out loud how you thought it was cute, how you loved it… He wanted your attention so badly, and it was clear he wasn’t getting it. Maybe Mindy was standing in the way. Maybe you thought you were too good for a secret admirer. He didn’t know. All he knew is that it was making him angry. You were his, even if you didn’t know it yet.

That night, you were getting ready for bed in your apartment. You had just gotten out of the shower, towel wrapped around your body as you were searching for your pajamas. Your window was open, but it was so hot in your apartment, despite the cold weather outside. You were searching through your underwear drawer when you notice your favorite pair were missing. Your mind goes to Mindy, but she wouldn’t do that. You must’ve misplaced them. You quickly decided to move on from that, and get dressed. You dropped your towel, now completely nude.

What you didn’t know, though, was that Ethan was secretly watching you from his own bedroom window. He watched as you walked back and forth in your room. He watched as you dropped your towel. He thought you were such a whore. Anyone could be looking in your bedroom window right now, and see you. Only he could see you like this. You were his. He grew angry, gritting his teeth, but nevertheless, moving his hand down to palm himself through his sweats. My god, you were so hot, so sexy, and soon, you’d be all his. Whether you liked that or not.

Ethan was still pretty disappointed that you hadn’t talked about your gifts today. He was sure you were getting a little suspicious, but he was going to win you in the end anyway. That was a sure fact. In the meantime, he was going to up the gifts. He wanted to give you something special that would show his appreciation for you. Something special... The idea clicked in his mind.

As he begin stroking his now fully hard cock, he kept his eyes on you. Thinking about when he’ll get to finally fuck you. Thinking about your small hand on his leg, and how he wished you placed it just a little higher. Imagining it was your hand jerking him off, and not his. His mind was running wild, and it didn’t take long before he finally released all over himself.

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

The next morning, you received another gift, luckily you found it before Mindy. This time, it was outside of your apartment door, rather than being in the mailbox. You were nervous to open this one, but still excited. This one was in a small box.

You opened it to something wrapped in tissue paper, though there was no note. You quickly unwrapped the gift.

It was… your favorite pair of underwear? and two vials… one full of a white, liquidy substance? The other a dark crimson red.. You were confused, to say the least. Your brain wasn’t connecting the dots. You picked up your underwear, and then noticed the white substance was on it as well, making you quickly drop them and run to go wash your hands. You were mortified.

Upon further inspection, the vials were connected to their own chains. This fucker wants me to wear his cum and blood as a necklace? You thought. At this point, you were scared. You didn’t know what to do. Mindy was going to be pissed, she’d tell the whole group, go to the police. But there was a part of you that was… intrigued? Someone is doing all of this, for you? He sent his own bodily fluids, knowing you could easily take it to the police. You had to find out who it was…

Once you returned back home from your classes, Mindy still wasn’t home. You figured she was out with Anika. There was an envelope on the kitchen counter. Ok, weird. You thought. You were sure Mindy didn’t come home at all throughout the day, but you quickly brushed it off.

You took a deep breath before opening the envelope. It felt light, so thankfully there would be no more weird, bodily fluids involved this time.

You opened it to.. pictures? Pictures of you… pictures of you at school… in class.. outside on campus. Pictures of you walking home. You gasped, realizing your secret admirer has now turned into your stalker. You kept shuffling through the photos. They were pretty tame, pictures of you in public spaces, though a bit creepy. Then you reached the photos of you in your bedroom. Your eyes widen as you continue looking through them. There were pictures of you doing your makeup, brushing your hair, getting undressed… and then there was a picture of you naked, a picture of you masturbating. You didn’t understand. Who the hell would do this? How did they invade your privacy this badly without you noticing? Tears begin to fill your eyes. This cannot be happening. You have to tell someone, right?

Unless…

You didn’t know what was up with you, but you didn’t want anyone’s help. You wanted to figure it out yourself. You had your suspicious, but wanted to be one hundred percent before doing anything.

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

You wore the blood vial necklace to school the next day. You figured the cum one would raise some eyebrows..

You were hyper alert the whole day, looking to see if anyone noticed your necklace. At lunch you sat at your usual picnic table, with all of your friends. Ethan and Chad arrived at the same time, and Ethan sat next to you. You were carefully eyeing everybody, seeing if anyone was acting weird. Nothing.

Little did you know, though, Ethan was hard as a rock, seeing you wear a necklace that was his blood. it took everything in him to not just rip your skirt off and fuck you right there on the table, in front of everyone. He couldn’t believe it. He was sure you would get scared, but here you were, boldly wearing it, like you were proud to be his. He didn’t say a word the whole time, holding his backpack on his lap to conceal his boner.

You were disappointed by the time you got home. You snapped the necklace off with force and threw it on the floor of your bedroom. You felt dirty, in a way. You were frustrated too. You had no other option but to wait. Or you could go to the police, but where’s the fun in that?

You were laying in bed when you got a phone call that same night. It was a ‘No Caller ID’ but you answered it anyway.

“Hello?” you asked, confusion laced in your voice.

“Hello, beautiful.” a deep, gritty, sultry voice answered you on the other end. “It’s me. I’ve missed you... So much.” He smiles, savoring each word. He could hear your breathing on the other end, and he imagined he could feel your soft, smooth face beneath his touch. Soon, he thought. Soon…

you were a bit taken aback by the voice, as it wasn’t familiar to you. It took you a few seconds to respond. “Who’s this?”

“Doesn’t matter, my darling. I just wanted to say... I’m glad I met you. You make everything better, you know that?” He smiles. “I wanna be yours.”

“I-I-… you’re my secret admirer…” you whisper as you get up off your bed, looking out the window.

“Ding ding ding!” He yells. “I knew there was something up in that pretty little head of yours.”

“Tell me who you are..” You say, a little angry this time, your voice quivering slightly.

“What does it matter to you?” He asks, a slight tinge of annoyance apparent in his voice. He smiles widely as he speaks. “You’ll know very soon, my love. Just... Give yourself to me. Don’t resist. You’ll be mine, and I’ll be yours. Do you understand? I will make you mine. Wear the other necklace tomorrow, princess. It suits you.” You could hear his smile through his voice.

“I’m not wearing that fucking necklace tomorrow. You’re disgusting, and- and you need to tell me who you are before I go to the police!” You threaten, pretending like you weren’t absolutely terrified.

“Oh… Y/n… sweet little dumb Y/n. You won’t tell anyone.” You could tell he was smiling.

“You don’t know me..” Tears start to fill your eyes.

“Oh, I know you better than anyone. You’re mine, Y/n Y/m/n.”

“What the fuck!” You yell while hanging up the phone harshly. You dropped your phone to the ground and slowly sunk down with it, sobbing.

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

The next day, a murder. A murder in the city. Two college students killed by some freak in a “ghostface” mask. You knew it had to be your secret admirer, but you were too scared to tell anyone. You felt it was already too late.

Tara and Sam were forcing everyone to stay at their apartment tonight, finally explaining to you and Ethan the reason why. Finding out your best friends were involved with the murders last year in Woodsboro left you angry, upset, disturbed, and sick. You couldn’t be around them, despite their pleas for you to stay with them. You decided that you would be ok, since you had nothing to do with “ghostface” or any of the events prior. You would just go home, and go to sleep.

So, that’s exactly what you did. You had a night class this week, so it was dark on your way home. Your heart was beating in your chest, you knew this wasn’t a good idea. You just kept repeating to yourself that he wasn’t gonna get you, you have nothing to do with him! Whoever he was.

You sigh in relief once you reach your building. You’d finally have the house alone for tonight, something you most definitely needed in a time like this.

As you walked up the steps to your apartment, you felt like you wanted to cry. Your stomach churned with guilt, but your head was full of denial. You couldn’t wait to crash on the couch and finally let sleep overtake you.

Entering the apartment, it felt… eerie. It was silent, of course, but, too silent. Something was off, you could feel it. Maybe it’s just your anxiety. Who knows.

You slowly shut the door and set your things on the counter. You take a deep sigh and head to your room down the hallway.

Unbeknownst to you, Ethan was watching you, hiding behind a wall in the kitchen. He watched you enter, a large grin spreading across his cheeks. He smiled at you from behind the wall, his eyes sparkling. He waited until you locked the door behind you to step out of hiding; this was a new turn of events, a development that would ensure he finally got what he wanted after all. He took a deep breath, and started down the hall, behind you.

You heard heavy footsteps behind you just as you were about to enter your room. You quickly turned around to see a tall figure clad in a black robe and the ghostface mask. You let out a blood curdling scream, flinching at the sight of him, causing you to fall back onto the floor. You kept slipping on the hardwood, crawling backwards until he had backed you into a corner.

Ethan smiled wide as he took a step into the light. His eyes gleamed as his black robe came into view. “Good evening.” He says, as he took another step closer. “It’s nice to see you again, princess. And I think I’m going to quite enjoy this…” He says as he slowly takes off his mask, his brown curls bouncing from the movement.

“Ethan?” you gasp, snot and tears all over your face. You are almost at the point of hyperventilation, but upon seeing Ethan, you can get your breathing under control. “Ethan.. This isn’t- this isn’t funny!” you yell.

“…Are you sure about that?” Ethan’s tone is cold, and he looks to his side. In his hand, a knife glares softly in the lights. The look on his face, however, is one of pure delight. “I don’t know about you, baby, but I’m having a good time…” He laughs.

You didn’t find it funny, at all. Your suspicions were correct. Your secret admirer was the ghostface. You just didn’t expect it to be Ethan… it was all too much for you. Your lips tremble as you try to speak. “What are- What are you going to do to me?”

“We both know what I’m going to do.” He says calmly, his dark eyes locked on yours. His voice is sweet, and there’s nothing of concern in it. He takes another step forward, so he’s right in front of you. He crouches down to your level and reaches out a hand, touching your skin, his gloved fingers grazing your cheek.

Tears fall out of your eyes freely, you were frozen, you couldn’t move. “Please… please don’t hurt me, Ethan. I didn’t do anything… please..” you look up at him, your wet eyelashes batting up at him. the look on your face made ethan hot, his pants suddenly getting tighter.

“You did do something,” He says, the dark tone returning to his voice. “You resisted me. But you’ll make it better, won’t you, my darling?” He smiles again as his fingers trace down your cheek. “You’ll make it better, won’t you? You’ll give yourself to me, right?” His voice is tender and soft, full of false sympathy. He smiles, his eyes a little brighter in the light as his tongue traces over his bottom lip.

You cry even harder. “Why? Why are you doing this to me?!” You yell, full on sobbing now.

Ethan grins widely, a sadistic smirk growing on his face. He holds the knife to your throat, holding you down against the wall. He leans in close. “Why? Is that what you wanna know?” He laughs quietly. “The answer is simple: I love you, and no one can have you but me.” He smiles, the smile twisting into something twisted and evil.

“You don’t have to do this..” You whisper, his grip is tight, and you were trying so hard not to move against the knife on your throat.

“And yet, I want to.” He smiles. “Don’t you understand, my love? You are mine. You and no one else. You will only have me.” He laughs coldly. “You should be honored… Not all girls get to witness something like this…”

You scoff at his words, which was a huge mistake.

He drags the knife down and against your shoulder, creating a small knick, blood trickling down your arm. His expression darkens again as you yelp. “I’m doing you a favor. You’ll understand once it’s done,” he says. He laughs silently. “Now, are you going to cooperate, my love?”

You knew you didn’t have a choice. He was going to kill you if you said no. “Yes… okay..” You said weakly, giving up and giving yourself to him.

A sadistic grin spread across his lips. He looked... Proud of you? Or maybe it was just another manipulation tactic. “Good girl.” He says, gently running his fingers down the side of your face. He grabs you by the back of the neck, but his touch is gentle. Once you get up, he snakes his arm around your shoulder. You were so confused. He leads you to your bedroom door, opens it and pushes you hard into the room. He slams the door shut behind him, his dark eyes shining, suddenly becoming mean again.

You stumble into the room from his push, facing away from him. You decide to just stand there and not say a word.

Ethan smiles behind you, a low hum of approval coming from his lips. “We’re going to have a good time together, doll.” A sadistic and evil twinkle in his eyes.

You begin to cry again as Ethan comes up behind you. He can tell you’re crying and shushes you sweetly, swiping your hair to the side and exposing your neck. You can feel his breath on you as he moves closer to your ear. “Shhh, Shhh, baby. It’s okay, I’m gonna take good care of you, my little doll. You trust me, right?”

You flinch, but don’t resist. “Yeah… Yes! Yes, sir…” You say, wanting to be good for him.

Once you address him as sir, his animalistic traits almost take over. He lets out a loud groan and curses under his breath. “Fuck, baby.” He whispers, as he pushes his hard cock into your ass at your words. “You’re going to be the death of me..”

He reaches his right hand to your chin, turning your face to look at him. It’s an awkward angle, but you can see each other now. He stares at your tear stained cheeks, your puffy eyes. He couldn’t be any happier…

Your fear is riling him up, his breath hot and sweet on your cheek. Slowly, he leans in to kiss you… He kisses you for what feels like forever. His lips are soft and sweet. His breath is sweet. His body is cold and hard.

To his surprise, you kiss him back. “See what happens when you obey me…” Ethan says after pulling his lips away. He smiles down at you. “My little doll…” He caresses your left cheek before pulling another hard-to-break kiss from you. This time it feels long and even more passionate, as Ethan’s lips move to your neck. He begins to move his hand lower, and to your discomfort, or pleasure? His hand begins to move up your shirt.

His gloved hand caresses your nipple, and you let out a little moan. Your eyes widen immediately after this, hearing Ethan’s sadistic laughter behind you. You didn’t mean to do that out loud. You didn’t want Ethan to know that you were actually enjoying this. You just wanted to obey him so that he would let you go. So, why are you so turned on right now?

Ethan smiles down at you. He seems to be enjoying the control he has over you. “Don’t you like making me happy, my little doll?” He asks, continuing to kiss your neck.

“Y-yes, sir…”

He smiles and ruts into you again, making you flinch. “Good girl. You’re a good girl…” He says through gritted teeth. He caresses your face. “…Say it again.”

“Yes, sir!” You say, a little more confident this time. He doesn’t say anything this time, just pushes you again so that you fall onto your bed, on your belly. Your legs half off the bed, bent at the waist.

Ethan walks to you, roughly ripping off your jeans from your legs, taking your underwear with it. You yelp loudly at the roughness, and at the cold air hitting your cunt. Ethan stops pulling off your pants half way, and sees your glistening pussy. He laughs again, which makes your stomach drop.

“You’re such a whore, Y/n. Look at you, fucking dripping for me, and I’ve barely even touched you!” He stares at you, his hard dick feeling oh so painful now, knowing that you were enjoying this too. He reaches under his robe and into his own jeans, unzipping and unbuckling them. He wastes no time in grabbing his cock out, barely even pulling his pants down. He brings the robe up and over his cock, deciding to leave it on. He starts to stroke himself, cursing under his breath, his eyes never leaving your pussy. He loves how obedient you’re being now. He didn’t think it would be this easy. He has the love of his life, exposed to him, laying quietly like a good girl. Fuck, he loves you.

He leans over your body, pressing kisses to your back, and up your neck, until he reaches your ear. “Just know that you’re mine now, and no one can have you but me…” He groans, and pulls his lips slowly away from her. “We’ll have fun together… Won’t we…? My… Little… Doll…” He says as he slowly ruts into you between every word. You cry out every single time his cock rubs against your pussy. He loves your sounds.

“You’re going to do anything to make me happy… Aren’t you, Y/n?” A sadist’s smile is on his face, as he leans close to you once more, his lips brushing against yours. “You’re a beautiful girl. Beautiful… And now you’re mine. Only mine. And I know just how to make you happy…” He leans back as he ends his sentence, and shoves his big cock straight into your hole, absolutely wrecking you. You jump forward on the bed, screaming out, the side of your face rubbing up against your comforter.

He just laughs at your pain, and gives you no time to adjust to his length. He pulls out all the way, and thrusts into you, harder this time.

“Ethan, Ethan! Please.., fuck! ‘S too much…” You try to scramble away from him, dragging yourself up the bed, but he won’t have it. He grabs you by the waist with both hands and roughly slams you back down on his cock. You’re screaming out of pain and pleasure at this point.

“No, no, angel. Don’t fucking run away from me. You’re mine.” He growls again, landing a harsh smack to your ass. You start sobbing, not being able to take it. He mocks your cries.

“Aww, you poor baby.” Another smack. “Crying while you make a mess on my cock.” He grabs you by your hair, forcing you to arch your upper body of the bed. “Tell me,” he grits his teeth. “Do you belong to me?” The smile is now gone. He looks so cold and empty. He looks like a monster. “Tell me, I want to hear you say it. Say that you belong to me, you gorgeous doll…” He says, all while still thrusting harshly into you.

“Y-yes, yes, sir. I belong to you, only you, sir. Need you…” You somehow get out through your sobs. You were almost babbling at this point, the feeling of him railing into you almost addictive. You weren’t lying when you said you needed him.

“That’s a good girl…” He says softly, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I want you to prove that you belong to me. You need to prove it. Prove your love for me, angel.”

You panic, not knowing what to do. All that you know right now is that his dick is hitting your sweet spot so deliciously right now.

“Uhh- I- Unghh…” You try to speak, but no words come out, just moans and groans.

“Dumb little baby. Drunk off my fucking cock.” He lands another harsh slap to your ass. It barely hurts at this point, you’re starting to really give into him now. Despite his rough thrusts, you back your ass into him, grinding against his cock. He lets out a breathy laugh at that. “Squeezing me so tight, baby. Fuck… look at you.” He says behind you, kneading and squeezing your ass into his hands, spreading your cheeks every now and then to get a full view of him going in and out of you.

The room is full of your moans, Ethan’s grunts, and the sound of him railing into your wet cunt. It’s so dirty, but fuck, you feel so good.

He knows you’re in such a vulnerable state now, and you’ll do whatever he asks you to do. He can tell you’re holding off on cumming, wanting to finish with him. He thinks it’s so sweet. You also just don’t want it to stop, you don’t want to know what will happen after you guys finish. You don’t want him to leave.

“You gonna cum, angel? Gonna finish on my cock, huh? Fuck, make even more of a mess on me, baby. I’m close too… Gonna fill you up, give you a baby. You would like that, wouldn’t you?” He asks, his pace still rough and fast, sending your eyes rolling and your tongue lolling.

“Mhm… Yeah…. Yes… Sir….” You babble, and Ethan smiles at your compliancy.

“So, so good for me, doll.” He gets even rougher as he’s nearing his high, his thrusts getting sloppier and sloppier.

“Fuck, Sir! I’m gonna cum…. Please, let me cum, please!” You scream out, still crying onto your bedsheets. The left side of your face is red and burning.

“Cum for me, sweet angel. I’m right there… Right fucking there…” he groans out.

As soon as he says those words, you reach your own high, screaming and crying out, cursing to the sky. You’ve never been fucked like this before. It’s almost like an out of body experience for you. Your pussy spasms against Ethan’s cock as you orgasm, which makes it hard for him to thrust, but squeezes him so hard he follows right after you.

“Fuck… good girl. Such a perfect angel. Did so well for me. All mine. All fucking mine.” He stills for a moment, and then removes himself from you, and you cry out at the loss of contact. Ethan just laughs at you, quickly sticking his cock back into his jeans. He brings his fingers down to your hole and pushes his semen deep into your pussy, making you groan underneath him.

He leaves the room for a moment, leaving you there on the bed, your bottom half exposed. When he comes back, you’re dead asleep. He smiles to himself at the sight of you while he grabs his knife, ready to leave the scene. He grabs his ghostface mask and places it on your bed, right next to your face. He’s sure you’ll see it first thing once you wake up.

He begins leaving your room when he looks at you one last time before exiting. He stares at your bare pussy, glistening with a mixture of your spent and his cum, slowly seeping out of you. He smiles. He’s finally accomplished the task at hand. Make you his, forever.

[imraespace]

STREAMERS! ★ ˎˊ˗

..CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3! || CHAPTER 4..

You stared at your phone screen, then back up at your chat sending a bunch or confused comments.

I mean.. who wouldn't be confused if you join a stream to find a bunch of your teachers in it.

"Uhh let me explain-"

You didn't really think that students from the school actually watch your streams, now you do. Suddenly you realize how weird it looks to stream with a bunch or old (not really), probably hated adults in the school.

@iloveuh_: ew the maths teacher is there.

That comment made you giggle a bit.

"Yeah sadly.. he's here as well." You replied.

Today's stream contains of Tengen, Kyojuro, Sanemi and Gyomei.

"Sadly who's here?" Sanemi asked.

"Nothing.." You mumbled.

"Anyways! Guess what happened yesterday?" You started.

"What?" Sanemi replied.

"Mitsuri said that she got an extra two customers yesterday!"

You're happy that Muichiro's (stupid) idea is actually working!

"That's good, should be thanking us to be honest." Tengen brought up.

"Why?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because without us, they wouldn't gotten any." He stated.

As much as you would normally lash out to him, sadly you have students watching..

So you just gave him a smile and thumbs up! Obviously you caught him off guard as confusion covered his face but it soon disappeared.

"What are we supposed to do here anyways?" Sanemi asked, resting his head on his palm.

Your eyes decided to scan your chat and glad you did, a comment caught your attention!

"Sanemi! Look at this comment." You said. showing your phone at the camera, doing that he got the memo to check his phone.

@kh.fan01: are you dating my bio teacher..

His face twisted from annoyed to even more annoyed.

"What possessed you to ask your teacher that question.." He grumbled.

"Well.. Not gonna lie but we too want to know as well." Kyojuro said, entering the conversation.

"Who's we? I have other things to worry about." Tengen said, rocking a stupid smile on his face .

"Yeah Sanemi.. are you?" You joined in, with a big grin on your face.

"What I think is that you all should mind your own business." He simply stated.

"But you infact told me that you indeed have feelings for Kanae." Gyomei said for the first time today.

"I forgot you're here, hello!" You said, waving at him.

He returned it.

@gamergirl123: isn't he blind..?

"He has his ways."

"Gyomei, sometimes you're not supposed to speak." Sanemi told the man.

"Don't talk to Mr. Himejima like that." You replied, defending him.

"Or what?"

"..."

You wondered n pondered, deciding on if you should put him in his place or act like the bigger person on live. Such hard decisions.

Yet you only sighed but looked down at your phone when you noticed that you got a notification from a new chat.

"Guys entertain them I have something to do."

"What-" Sanemi was then cut off by your removing your headphones.

You sighed and turned off your phone.

Your eyes made its way towards your chat and realized that your the talk of the moment.

"Why am I the talk of the moment?" You spoke up, startling the others.

"Oh your back. You looked like you sniffed shit." Sanemi told you.

"WHAT?" But then it hit you.

Oh right facial expressions!

"Nothing is wrong." You told them.

"Yeah right.. Ok." Sanemi said.

It was now silent until Gyomei spoke up.

"How about we end today's stream?" And to that, you all agreed.

STREAMERS!

EXTRA!:

TAGLIST: @deezy12299 @s0uldarling @cherryblossomly (OPEN)

[persesphonestears]

Taskforce 141 + Los Vaqueros + König and Horangi

More shit because I remembered I have drafts :>

A/N: My Y/N's are intended to be read as if the reader/Y/N is male/Trans masc, Also Bold is actions.

!!CW!!: Sexual jokes, Swearing, blood mentions(? i think), Shepard warning! alcohol mentions(being drunk) just silly cod shenanigan's (please tell me if I've forgotten any!)

Soap: WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!

Y/N: *sleepy* ah what's going on

Price: *also sleepy and sitting up* what the fuck man

Soap: OHHOHO

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Rudy: do you have any ice?

Y/N: no i just have freezable fruit shapes

Rudy: why..?

Y/N: just because

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Y/N: hey bro what do you wanna eat

Ghosts thoughts: the souls of the innocent

Ghost: A bagel

Ghosts thoughts: NOOOO

Ghost: Two bagels

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Y/N: Riley do you want the ball?

Y/N: *throws the ball*

Riley: *runs for the ball and throws himself into the wall*

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Y/N: I can't find it

Ghost: what you looking for?

Y/N: my happiness

Ghost: oh shit lost mine too let me help look

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Y/N: That moment when you walk into a room and forgot why

Alejandro: *angrily jumping on them*

Y/N: *falling in slow motion* oh that's right I pranked Alejandro

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Lasswell: Kid I gotta tell you something..

Y/N: what is it?

Lasswell: I'm gay..

Y/N: Wha- what does that mean?

Lasswell: It means I like pus-

Y/N: do you still love dad(price)?

Lasswell: ew no

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Y/N undercover: Are your parents serial killers… Cause i'm pretty sure they killed mine and IM BACK FOR REVENGE-

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Soap: My favourite holiday is halloween

Gaz: So my favourite holiday is christmas what about you Y/N?

Y/N: The purge :D

Ghost: ah that's nice

Price: Ye- wait what.

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Y/N: *fishing* Ugh the fish got off

Shepard: Probably cause god is angry

Y/N: About what?

Shepard: Gay marriage

Y/N: Look this is why I don't go fishing with you-

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Y/N: Dude lowkey your Dad(Price) is like super hot

Gaz: Lowkey dude that's kinda weird.

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Graves: Sir you can't steal in here

Y/N: Wha no i didn't steal anything?

Graves: You stole my heart

Y/N: *giggles* fuck you it's mine now. *runs off with Graves literal heart in their hand*

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Y/N: That was the best sex I've ever had

Gaz: Heh nice- hey wait that's my mums(Price) room!

Y/N: and that's why they call me mother fucker

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Alejandro: Hey can I get a sip of that water?

Y/N: it's not water

Alejandro: Vodka! I like your stu-

Y/N: it's vinegar.

Alejandro: what..?

Y/N: it's vinegar PUSSY-

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Graves: Hey Y/N, Are you straight?

Y/N: Am i straight? mmm uhh mm no sorry I like penis

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Y/N and Ghost: What's wrong with the way we dress?

Soap: Well some people say that all black make you look like an evil villain.

Soap: Not me though I think it makes you look like a sexy motorcycle vroom vroom

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Y/N: *drunk* next time I open up to someone is my fucking autopsy

Gaz: I worry about you

Ghost: Get in line

Soap: here take my spot.

Price: Y/N, we talked about this..

---------------------------------------------------

Y/N: ask me why I love you

Ghost: Why do you love me?

Y/N: I'm glad you ask! *pulls out a 500 slide presentation*

---------------------------------------------------

König: *lovingly stroking Y/N’s hair* Your so cute

Y/N: *drunkly* I could beat the shit out of you

König: sure you could

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Price: My god do you ever stop with the ‘I wanna die stuff’??

Y/N: I'll stop when I die, that's for sure.

---------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I can fit the whole world in my hands!

Alejandro: Amor that's impossible

Y/N: Yes I can *holds Alejandro’s face* See!

Alejandro: *blushes furiously* Get your hands off me, I have a reputation

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Price: Where's Y/N?

Rudy: Doing stuff.

Price: Yeah i don't like the sound of that. Where's Gaz?

Rudy: Trying to stop Y/N from doing stuff.

Price: Ghost and Soap?

Rudy: Trying to stop Gaz from stopping Y/N from doing stuff.

Price: Uh Alejandro and König..?

Rudy: Watching it all.

---------------------------------------------------

Ghost: I wanna do bad stuff to you.

Y/N: *being interrogated* Like what 😼

Ghost: Break your legs

Ghost: Choke you to death

Ghost: Push you off a building

Y/N: Kinky

Ghost:...

Ghost: What the fuck?

---------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Is that your hand on my ass?

Alejandro: It was an accident.

Y/N: Your hand is still on my ass

Alejandro: It's still an accident.

---------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I have an idea!

König: Maus, your last idea was unnecessary murder

---------------------------------------------------

*Taking Alejandro to meet your guardians/parental figures* (amab reader)

Y/N: Okay let's try again, I'm my dad okay?

Alejandro: Fine

Y/N: *lowers their voice* So why should i let you date my child?

Alejandro: Because I can't get them pregnant

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Y/N: When I get murdered can you make sure my murder case stays unsolved?

König: What?

Y/N: I wanna be on buzzfeed’s unsolved murder case's

Horangi: Can we go back to you saying ‘when I get murdered’..?

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Y/N: Gods give me patience.

Price: Don't you mean power?

Y/N: If the gods gave me powers they'd all be dead.

---------------------------------------------------

Soap: So uh I was wondering if you'd go out with me..?

Y/N: Yeah I'd love too!

Soap: You'll come arou- WAIT DID YOU JUST SAY YES?!

Y/N:...yeah?

Soap: OMG WAIT RIGHT HERE ILL BE RIGHT BACK!

Soap: *runs off*

Y/N:

Y/N: so can I leave or..?

Soap: *running back dragging Ghost behind him*

Soap: Say it! Say it again!!

---------------------------------------------------

Y/N and Alejandro fighting

Rudy: What absolute idiots.

Rudy:

Rudy: I can't believe I fell in love with them both.

---------------------------------------------------

Anyway thank you for joining me in my silly lil guy shenanigans ٩(ᐛ)و

[anonymouscheeses]

Big fckn redesigns here. Well mostly Charlie but Vaggie somewhat too 🥰🥰

Blue fits Charlie soooo much and I cease to see that many redesigns with this color. I still want red to be used in most of their designs because well. They are in hell, but not too present so to make way for other unique colors. Charlie has several physical traits from her parents but also she has some details in her clothes that match with them. When I uhh, introduce their designs you'll see lmao. I also tried to make her have a more roundish design, I jst LOVE those typ of designs omg. I just want the characters with not too many sharp corners pls Viv bro... 😔 oh yeah she's mixed cuz her mom's are darker in their redesigns. Alot of their genetics went down to Charlie so she doesn't look like an exact copy of Lucifer, I kind of hate that trend with hh and hb characters, like did the moxxies dad give birth to him bro 😭 also I kept her bow because it looks so cute and silly on her it just fits, I wish they made it bigger in her show design because it would fit her silliness so much. She has a cape with stars because morningSTAR smh why didnt they do something fun with that, missed potential but whatevs yknow I still love og designs no matter what anyone sayss. Did you know I love Charlie, I could ramble for days. I think I love Charlie guys. Maybe jst a hunch idk... also... s-snake fangs.. jeepers anddd..... snake tongue.... shiver me timberz

The wife ever. I had animation in mind more when I designed her, not like in a "How easy or hard would this be to animate" way. But I like to imagine when she's shocked her hair kind of fluffs out plus her actual fluff, when she's mad her bow turns into kind of horns and then her jacket expands like wings. Gave her a more hotel like outfit, she likes to work for fun (ew). Her socks are socks but she has some fluff under them she just tries to cover it up because she hates herself 🤪 (she doesn't hate her bigger body she actually feels much more comfortable chubby than when she was skinny with Adam. She was burdened with the weight of Adam's image of women... In this sorta rewrite she gained weight when she goes to the hotel because she's more happy. I'm dying I love chub Vaggie so much guys please) headcanon: she kind of likes fashion, it's like a fun hobby of hers to stitch together clothing and go out and buy clothes she'll never wear. She taught Charlie how to stitch and she SUCKS so you can jst see it on Charlie's pants.

Second outfits! Charlie's hotel uniform for. Well. Hotel stuff. She usually only wears it when new people come to the hotel, which.... isn't often, if at all. She still likes to keep it just in case. Also she goes really cartoonish when it happens, she does the looney tunes run and changes into her clothes in like 2 seconds. Can you see my vision? 😭😭

Vaggie's is in her armor. She has several pairs of armor lying around in the hotel in completely hidden spots. It's kind of surprising uhh. Yeah she wears it alot more than Charlie wears her alt uniform but still rare to find her in it. I don't get the whole thing with the exterminators and them not being able to fight according to Carmilla. Which is kinda stupid, I'm not gonna lie. So, instead of that, Vaggie has just let her guard down and has gotten much more comfortable in her surroundings so she feels like she doesn't need to fight anymore, she's just gotten rusty 's what I'm sayin. I have no idea how to draw armor. You can tell...

Extra below cut vvvv

BABY CHARLIE!!! With the heads of my redesigns for Luci, Eve, and Lillith. Haha you still cant see them. Uhh, ill definitely finish the thing one day. Its not even that big of a project thing, i think i jst keep going to other drawings so im like not focusing on one thing lmao. Lucifer has heterochromia because he was cursed to forever be reminded of his betrayal. I only explained that because Charlie has it too, it's kind of a curse on the entire blood line where at least one eye is red. This is like. Slightly older Charlie than the baby Charlie in show? I jst wanted to put her in overalls cuz omg that's jst so cute ughhh 😭😭

[c-m-stuff]

Jellyfish

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

-Description: You and Spencer are having a secret relationship. When you all went to the beach for the weekend, something awkward has happened. And, the team was willing to find out.

-Warnings: Fluffiness

-Word count: 756

-Note: (Repost from Wattpad, my taglist is open now, you can find it here.) I saw this episode of Friends on tv, and it brought me some inspiration. TV show: Friends - 4x01

Masterlist

Y/N POV:

The BAU needed a little vacation. We deserved it. So, Penelope came up with the great idea to go with the whole team to the beach. At least, I thought, it was a great idea.

Let's just say something has happened at the beach. Something has happened while the others stayed in the house, while Spencer, me and Derek, went to the ocean. Not to swim, just walking with our feet in the water. Ever since, we were a bit awkward around each other. The team noticing clearly.

We were all lunching together in the conference room, Emily starting the conversation.

'Alright, you guys, what happened out there?'

'What? We took a walk, nothing happened.' I answered, so casually possible. Failing miserably.

'Come on!'

'Alright.' Derek stood up, but Spencer and I, immediately joined him.

'No! Derek, we swore we'd never tell!' I yelled, when Spencer added:

'They'll never understand!'

'Well, we have to say something. They'll never stop asking. (Y/N) got stung by a jellyfish-'

'Alright! Alright! I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn't stand. I-I couldn't walk.'

'We were two miles from the house.' Spencer began, as Derek continued, a bit dramatic.

'We were scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it.'

'I was in too much pain.' I made clear again, walking a bit around the room.

'And, then Reid remembered something.' Derek spoke out, everyone carefully listening to us.

'I'd seen this thing on the Discovery Channel...'

'Wait a minute. I saw that! About jellyfish and how if you-' David stopped for a minute, looking with wide eyes.

'You peed on yourself?' they all gasped, a slight disgust on their faces.

'You-you don't know! I mean, I thought, I was passing out from the pain! Anyway, I-I tried, but I-I couldn't bend that way. So...' I told them a bit ashamed, looking at Derek now. They all gasped once more, the word "ew" getting multiple times called.

'That's right, I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! And, if I had too, I'd pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldn't. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So, I turned to Reid.'

Everyone's eyes immediately went to Spencer, who stood there ashamed and uncomfortable. They gasped, but before they could say something, Spencer began talking:

'Morgan kept screaming at me: "Do it now! Do it! Do it! Do it now!". I-I-' then he stopped talking and walked out of the room, with me right behind him.

'Spence, are you okay?' he stopped his tracks, turning to look at me.

'Yeah, I just want them to know about us. It would be less awkward, you know?' he silently confessed, causing me to nod.

'I know. Well, we can tell them. I mean, I think we waited long enough now.'

'Really?' I took his hands in mine, squeezing it a bit.

'Really.' he gave me the sweetest smile, before I felt his lips on mine. Suddenly, we heard clapping behind us, causing us to pull immediately away. We turned around to see the team standing a bit further, all smiley faces.

'Well, I guess we don't have to tell them anymore.' Spencer chuckled at my statement, while wrapping an arm around my waist.

'Oh, but you never actually had to tell us.' David told us, the whole team nodding in agreement.

'You knew?'

'Well, we are profilers after all.' Derek chuckled, and then the last puzzle piece fell on its place.

'Wait, is that why you told us the whole "I got the stage fright" story? You knew?' I asked in disbelief, replaying the beach day in my mind.

'Yes, I knew. And, I knew, you would be less embarrassed when your boyfriend peed on you instead of me.'

'But, why did you pressure me and kept yelling at me, "Do it! Do it now!"?' now Spencer asked, as Derek began laughing.

'That, I did for my own pleasure.'

_________________________

[xshiny]

pick me girl...

There were new recruits in TF141, and there was one of them who was a... pick me girl... oh no-

You, Price, Ghost, Soap, and Keegan were talking about the next mission, Alejandro was doing some work with Graves. Suddenly, the pick me girl approached you guys

"Hewwo! Can you guys just show me around this huuuuge base! I'm so smol that I get lost in this base... and don't wowwe! I'm definitely one of the bois!" She said. She didn't even acknowledge you because of the fact you are a girl.

You didn't want to deal with her, but you knew that you couldn't start up a fight. Not yet. You stood back with your arms crossed as you looked down at her, waiting for one of the guys to say something.

Soap snorted loudly at her, and she took a step towards Soap, putting her hands on her hips.

"Excuse yow? Hewwo? Can I be addressed, pwease? It's vewy rude to ingowre someone, ya know...?" Soap just rolled his eyes, and she was talking in this high voice. The other soldiers chuckled. You furrow your brows in annoyance, but you let Soap and the others handle this. Not unless things get too out of hand.

Keegan, the calmest soldier you know, walked up to her and got uncomfortably close to her. She backed up a bit but still smiled.

"What's your name, doll?"

"Oh! I'm [insert name], but everyone calls me [something cutesy like "angel" or "sweetiecakes"]. I always get lost in this base bc I'm so tiny and lost... pwease can I have one of you big men to show me arouuund??"

You cringe at the way she talked, and how she introduced herself. With narrowed eyes, you think about how she included her nickname. She's so...ew. Gives you the ick. You stand a little distance away, quietly observing the situation with this pick me girl.

Keegan chuckled and said in a flirtatious tone...

"Ooh! Don't worry your little head off! I'll show you where everything is, little princess." GAGGING AT THIS

"Aww, tanks you vewy much." She smirked. The other male soldiers were like... "Uuuhh" as they watched it all. You raised your brow in question as Keegan walks past you. You shoot him a questioning glance, and he gives you a reassuring wink. Did Keegan have a plan in mind?

Keegan and her walk off to some place in this huge base, and after 5 minutes your ear piece crackles, and Keegan's voice comes up.

"Uhh... guys... she's not stopping talking. Like, literally. Not for even a second. She's making me uncomfortable."

You sighed, and responded back to your ear piece.

"Where are you?" You asked, already on the move.

"Uuh, I'm on the roof, she dragged me up here and won't stop talking." And he said it in a panicked way that showed this wasn't just a mere inconvenience, he genuinely didn't know how to cope with her. Hearing that, you picked up your pace.

"Make sure you update us on what's going on up there with that....pick me girl". Keegan sighed and nodded, and Soap rolled his eyes.

"Alright. It's a nightmare here." He said, sounding like he was genuinely distressed. You walk out onto the roof, swiveling your head, searching for Keegan. You spot him backed up on a crate while the girl was all up on him. You frown at this and approach them quietly.

"Hey new girl, think you can walk around the base by yourself now?" You said as you nearer them, crossing your arms as you stand next to her. The girl looked at you and narrowed her eyes as she backed away from Keegan. Her expression was a mix of annoyance and confusion, and she was trying to decide how she was going to deal with you.

"Excuse me? Why don't you go mind your own business."She got even closer to Keegan, and he was obviously very uncomfortable, but he tried to play it cool.

"Keegan's my friend, so technically it is my business" you hissed, leaning down to hover above her since she was shorter. She rolled her eyes and spoke in a flirty tone.

"Yeah, whatever you say, sweetie, he's mine now."She laughed, thinking her comment was hilarious. The thing was, Keegan was actually getting annoyed at how clingy she was towards him.

"Yours? Keegan belongs to no one but himself" I scoffed, narrowing your eyes at her. You started up get annoyed by how she acted. She just laughed at that. THE AUDACITY-

"Oh... I think you're jealous..." She tried being flirtatious with him, but he was obviously uncomfortable. When you got mad and said that... she got mad too. "Okay, he doesn't, yet... but I'm going to make him! He's way too hot to belong only to himself."

"Clearly Keegan is uncomfortable with you" You said, and gestured for Keegan to come by you instead. When he walks over, your arm snakes around him, pulling him in close."You see the difference? Obviously Keegan is way more comfortable with me than you- take some hints, girl" you scoffed.

Keegan looked relieved to be away from her, and the girl looked so annoyed she was turning red.

"No... no... he's just shy! I know he likes me! He's just afraid of admitting it."She pouted a little. "Also, don't touch my man! I know he likes me, so you go away."

"You better watch your mouth, little girl" you scowled, pulling Keegan in closer. She scoffed and backed away.

"Listen here sweetie, you're one to talk... I'm clearly superior to you, and everyone knows that men prefer superior women." She said in this extremely arrogant and high-horse tone... as if you weren't even able to be in the presence of her. She got up and walked a little closer to Keegan, placing her hands on her waist and said.

"Can I have my man back?" You snicker sinisterly, and look down apon her.

"He's not your boyfriend" You hugged Keegan, your hands in some suggestive areas, but you glare at her. "And I'm your superior, you need to remember that you're a recruit" She had a shocked look on her face, probably didn't expect you to get so aggressive. She got so annoyed that her tone dropped her act entirely, and she seemed furious.

"Look, he's mine, I saw him first, so stop clinging to him, he's mine now. As the superior woman, he would never stoop low enough to be with you, he's mine. And you better stay away from him."

"Such a brat with all bark but no bite..." You sneer at her, letting go of Keegan and stalked closer to the girl. "What if I happen to be girlfriend, hm? What are you gonna do now?" You said, getting all up in her face. Even though you really weren't Keegan's girlfriend, you just wanted this girl to back off from your friend.

The girl scowled at you, but she was slightly intimidated because you stood over her with an ice cold glare.

"Well... I'd just fight you to win him over. I'm stronger, better, and much prettier than you." She was trying to be a bit intimidating, but she was failing miserably. She couldn't even look you in the eyes, and she wasn't able to keep her act together since you got close to her.

"You wanna test that, dollface?" You sneer, cocking your head, cracking your knuckles. She tried to keep to her attitude, but she couldn't keep it up. She looked a little scared now that you were being so aggressive with her.

"Y-you know what, he's not even worth it... he's not even hot enough for me!" Her tone made it clear that she wasn't joking, she was actually quite jealous of you and Keegan being close, so she tried to play off her jealousy in a cool way. You stepped closer.

"You try to flirt with the male or female superiors again and you'll be out of here faster than a bullet- you understand what im saying?" You grit through your teeth, your glare piercing into her. She backed up, a little intimidated now. She was so used to flirting her way out of problems, and the men were usually too blinded to see what she was really doing. But not when you were around... she saw that you were a strong woman and couldn't use her "assets" here.

"Okayyyy, s-sorry," She said nervously, and her flirtatious tone quickly left her voice.

"Good. Now see to it" you said, standing up straight again to your full height. You turned abruptly on your heel and motioned for Keegan to follow. Keegan took his time to follow. When the girl was finally gone, he exhaled and wiped some sweat off his brow, and chuckled nervously.

"Phew... she was really, REALLY clingy, huh?"

"I thought you were better than that- to let a girl walk all over you?" You joked, nudging his arm gently. Keegan smiled a little.

"I didn't know what to do. She's relentless, I couldn't get her to leave me alone. She was too clingy, and I was getting uncomfortable." He said, and you rolled your eyes, but couldn't hold back your laughter at the situation. You chuckled, shaking your head as both of you make way back to the main floor.

"I guess so... and I'm sorry I had to touch you like that back there- she had to get the hint you weren't interested in her" He shrugged and chuckled.

"Don't worry about it, you had to do what you had to do to get her away from me." He laughed a little as well when he mentioned how annoying and clingy she was toward him. He was glad you pulled him away.

[amarmoria]

Sempiternal 11

⊹ ⭑.ᐟ Yao x Reader ⊹ ࣪˖ᝰ.ᐟ

Synopsis: 10 days in some spa center with your family wouldn't be too bad right...?

Previous | Next

Wc: 1.6k

"I absolutely love how we have separate rooms with mom and dad" Zoe says, launching herself on the bed, you sit on the noiseless mattress as it bounces you, it's big, and clean, and bouncy, and tall, it's like a hotel room, 5-star hotel room. You let yourself fall on the cold and newly ironed bedsheets, even then it smelled like strawberries, or lemon, maybe both, you couldn't point your finger at it, but it makes you wanna shut down for the rest of the day.

"Yeah, I hope they don't keep fighting.." you whisper the last few words as Zoe pauses from her bed, slowly turning her head to you.

"Don't worry about it. They planned the retreat so might as well make it bearable for us"

"I guess.."

She frowns as she sits up, her legs crossing. "You worry wart"

"Hey! I'm not a worry wary!"

"Uh huh"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yeah HUH"

"Zoe!" You playfully threw a pillow at her, though it only hit the wall..

"Then stop worrying about nothing."

"I'm not worrying about nothing Zo.."

"Uhh, yes you are"

"Fuck you," you grumble, then it was your turn to sit up. "Since when then huh?"

"Since forever?!"

"Since never! I've never been a worry wart, it's called being curious, helloo?"

"Nyeh nyeh nyeh"

"Zoe!"

"Zoe!"

"I hate you" you laugh, continuously throwing pillows to her side and as did she. "You love me"

"Uhh eww!?"

She gasps, holding her chest like some grandma who heard you curse. "Oh you don't get to call me ew!"

You squeal as she hops from her bed to yours, the both of you bouncing very high as she attacks you at your sides, you screech and try to pry her hands off, you've never escaped her tickle wrestle once, especially when the twins gang up on you.

Oh.

She frowns as you abruptly stop laughing, she tries tickling your sides again, but you give her a tight lipped smile and sit up. It was only now that you'd noticed the ruined pillows, their feathers scattered across everywhere, you might've even found one near the bathroom floor, but you didn't care to stay in that subject any longer.

You stare far away at the window, it was open, a pretty blue sky would've made you think this was heaven, but that's where you brother is, not you, your here, reminded everyday of the things you three used to do.

That night, you didn't want to give him the leftovers from dinner, so you sneaked to the kitchen to hide them, but he was already there finishing every last thing in the fridge, including your newly bought chipotle bowl, so naturally, you got mad st him, smacked him, and called him a bad brother, you wonder if it was you, what if you just let him finish your food, would he even be here.

You look over your shoulder to Zoe, who was worriedly looking over to you. "I'm sorry.."

She doesn't say anything, only getting up and sitting behind you, the foot of your beds were facing the balcony windows so anyone could be watching, but who would wanna watch a crying session other than the birds and the trees. Zoe hugs your shoulders, rubbing your arms continuously as you let out a breather.

"I'm sorry, I, I didn't, it," you can't even finish what you wanted to say, your mind was saying a million things but your mouth can only say so much.

"It's ok, I'm here.."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" you repeated the words like a mantra, your grip on her arm tightened at every hiccup you get while bawling your eyes out. "Hey, hey, it's not your fault okay? It was never yours, don't blame yourself for it alright? I. Love. You, you hear me?"

She was now kneeling in front of you, cupping your cheeks in her hands, her thumbs wiping away your tears and doing the. work for you. "Y-yes, yes, me, me too"

"And don't blame yourself, don't"

Only just a few seconds when you finally calmed down, you liked how Zoe seemed to understand you even when you didn't say anything, it was always so easy with her, everything was, that's why you'd always stick to her every now and then when you don't have anything to do, you didn't have to worry very much when you're with her.

"I'm gonna go check on them," she pauses, mid-way to opening the door. "Are.. are you going to be alright here?"

You blinked, you hesitated in coming with her or stay, you wanted to see if your hunch was right, that they fought, and beat Zoe, but you also wanted to stay here and tidy up, the thought of the staff coming in here and seeing the mess makes you grow hot, you've only arrived and already caused a mess, especially when you assumed they'd just finished cleaning the rooms.

"I- I'll stay here," you shoot her a smile. "..tidy up after you know.."

You gesture to the feathers as she chuckles evilly.

"Okay, have fun~"

You laugh and throw one last pillow at her, you can hear her laugh outside when the pillow hits the now closed door

"Go away now!"

You didn't realize your mistake when your eyes focus on the shrewed feathers. You weren't too fond of cleaning, honestly you don't like cleaning, and the thought of doing it clearly takes a toll on you when you let yourself fall on the bed, you didn't really want to clean, at all, aside from your nose itching whenever you're near dust, you don't like the look of dirty, messy, unorganized stuff, but your also too lazy to clean it. Your eyes zone out on the non moving ceiling fan, the crystal made fan sparkling from the sun, you wonder how much it was, you assume it's super very expensive, as expensive as your house, maybe, but not impossible, rich people who don't know how to spend their rich money.

That's when a knock interrupts your thoughts, you groan while sitting up, the gears on your head turning, weren't the guests supposed to be in quiet and peace after arriving here, oh gosh, what if they've come to collect you out of your fake rooms and throw you in their cells, and now you've doomed yourself by not coming with Zoe since your in the scene of the crime and they're going to punish you for ruining their pillows!

"Hello?"

You freeze at the voice, oh my goodness, you haven't even finished your smoothie, your driver's license, and you still wanted to travel to other countries.

You gulp and peeked through the hallway to the door.

"W-who's there?"

"It's Yao, miss," you can hear him shuffle outside, it sounded like big bags. "Why— what are you doing outside?"

"Uhh I'm here to—" you can momentarily hear a loud, but not too loud bang on the floor, tour heart lurched, no way they brought you a casket, your not going to even get a cell, you're going straight to the coffin.

"No, I, it's okay, I'm, I'll stay here, inside.."

You hear him chuckle. "So you're going to wear that for the rest of the day?"

Oh good lord, he's here to get you changed for your funeral.

"... Y-yes, I don't, I won't let you in here." You stood your ground, planting your feet on the floor and crossing your arms, you weren't going to die today, not ever, you still haven't gotten a boyfriend yet, not even a first kiss.

"I, uh, think you don't quite understand little miss," you almost flinch when he chuckles, no, you won't be deceived so very easily. "What are you laughing at?"

"I'm— I'm not laughing—" once again, you hear him walk away from the door, his laugh fading out the more he goes, coming back as he clears his throat.

"We have a protocol for—"

"No!" You stomp right in front of the door, still not opening it, even just a peek. "I'm not letting you in! I came here so that my parents can enjoy the vacation and heal! And now your little website about, about stability, ha-happiness, and other lies when you're only job here was to scam us and, and kill us and put us in cells o-or coffins and torture us!"

You huff, swallowing the growing saliva in your mouth. The silence was deafening as you waited for his response but nothing came out.

"A-and, if you're, you're here t-to lock me up in a coffin then I'm not letting you."

And yet again, you waited a few seconds for him to answer but was only met by the buzz of the ac. So you slowly and quietly opened the door by a pinch, you scan the hallway for him but there was nothing, so all this time you've been ranting to nothing, to literal air.

You feel yourself growing hot. How can you even get passed this? Good thing no one was present and heard you, pretty sure you were loud enough for it to echo in the hallway, althought they wouldn't know who you were anyways.

You look down when your knees bump something.

"Isn't this..?"

Your luggage? You frown as you spin it around, yes, it is yours, it has the small stickers in the right place, how could it not? You whip your head on the hallway, tryna find any signs of people, or him, but looks you everyone was outside, or maybe exploring.

Was.. was this the thump you heard earlier and not a coffin..?

Oh gosh.

Nope, no, no way, you can't live like this, you didn't think your day could get any worse, you've embarrassed yourself for countless times already, you really hoped he didn't hear the coffin part..

[soulsty]

....dude Fi was designed to look 13-14 according to the devs. it's really creepy that you ship her with anyone tbh, ESPECIALLY Ghirahim. she's literally a child. says a lot about you imo

Alright alright alright, let’s clear this up.

!DISCLAIMER BEFORE I START!

Do not mistake this post as me trying to excuse weird shit. Ew. I hate pro-shipping. Get it away from me.

Now into the nitty gritty-

Quoting DIRECTLY, from Hyrule Historia, it is on my lap as we speak

“• Looks 13 or 14”

Does this concept art look a lot like our finalized Fi design? Yes it does. This is the second closest to the finalized version in the book

So let’s go over more of this, and the several reasons why I think this isn’t canon.

“• metallic texture”

That didn’t stick around. I often joke that everything in Skyward Sword looks like it’s made out of fondant, and while her clothing does, her skin and wings looks much closer to porcelain.

“• a naive cuteness”

uhh, sure? She never seemed naive to me, but she is still cute so… that stuck I guess?

I don’t need to go over the last bullet point, because that is just true lmao

But here’s the kicker! Right?

“Like the Fairy Queen in Wind Waker”

The Fairy Queen is obviously a child. We know this, look at her, she also flirts with 12 year old Link iirc

But what makes this design look like the fairy queen? The hair does, it’s exactly the same, just parted on the opposite side. The grey-blue color is really similar. Her… eyes? But wait… that’s the same eye type as the regular Great Fairies? And Ghirahim?

She didn’t even carry over the circular toon style eyes in her final design

I’m pretty sure I could assume the Great Fairies in WW are meant to be adults right? Other versions always have been, and they very clearly look like an older version of the Fairy Queen… so why does Fi’s finalized design actually look a bit more like them? From the pointed eyes to the strong nose-to-eyebrow ridge, she’s starting to look less like the Queen to me…

But let’s go back to the concept art. What else does it say?

These are the same design as the other one that says she looks 13-14, just a bit less detailed

hmm… huh… that’s interesting. Her gem changes color? Well, that’s not canon

Wait what? “Connected to the arm, which is why it bends.” She has arms under her wings?

THEY TOOK HER GODDAMN ARMS

So yeah, in that same design where she “looks 13 or 14” she had arms. Do with that what you will

How about we dive even deeper into Fi’s concept art, hmm?

It seems pretty clear to me that she wasn’t meant to be a child character from the start, some of these designs appear child-like (the one next to the iron man design in particular), but lots of these are also just women

But okay, okay, let’s take a step back from Fi’s concept art. How about Ghirahim’s, what does his say?

The same age as Link? This mfer is 17?? Jesus Christ, talk about the jock kid in high school

Jokes aside, I don’t believe that, he refers to Link as a child the entire time, all of his concept art pre-finalized, just looks like old men, so I assume that moreso meant they were straying away from that design element.

I would also like to mention that Ghirahim’s concept art states in his sword form “He shows emotion without using his eyes”

While very clearly showing a picture of him expressing with his eyes, something that remains consistent in-game as well. So this could be translation error, or just… idk honestly it just doesn’t really make sense lmao

The tl;dr of all this concept art talk is this:

Don’t take concept art as fact. As an artist, concept art is literally that. A concept. I have made designs with elements that have been changed drastically by the finalized version. It’s all a process.

SO! Now that we’re done with the concept art, let’s actually move to references from the game.

At the beginning of the game, this is said, by Gaepora and Fi

Link is referred to as “a/the youth” multiple times, as opposed to Fi being referred to once as “youthful in likeness yet wise with knowledge immeasurable.”

Youthful in likeness. Not an actual youth, and the youthful in likeness thing could not even necessarily tie back to saying she looks 13-14, just that she looks young. Youthful is a very large age-range after all.

My second point about in-game… Scrapper. This doesn’t really lead too far, because we have no idea how “old” Scrapper is “supposed to be”, he’s a robot, he has less of an age than Ghirahim and Fi, BUT he’s allowed to be an absolute simp, to the point of calling her “Mistress” non-stop, so idk, that just doesn’t read as something a child would go through to me.

UPDATE: more evidence on the front of Scrapper, when he firsts meets Link, he explicitly doesn’t want to help Link because, and I quote “Serving children is very low in my task priority.” Then Fi appears, blah blah blah, you can’t carry the windmill propeller in your pouch, right? Then Scrapper says “Who are you!?” And does what I can only describe as his version of an AWOOGA (what being “zrrt-FWOOOSH”, paraphrased) and continues, “Your name is…Fi? Should I call you Mistress Fi? Are you looking for something Mistress Fi? …I…understand. At your request, I will carry anything, regardless of weight or destination…”

So there you go, serving children is very low in his priority, Hylia was around at the same time the LD units were active, so Hylia would’ve known about the Scrapper units priorities, (assuming they all have the same priority list) so why would she make a child? Just why? And in the same vein, why would Hylia make her servant sword-spirit a child in the first place, that doesn’t make any sense 😭

Looping back around to where this all started, what does “looks 13 or 14” even specifically mean? She looks that age, not she is that age. And I’m not going to go Lolicon topic with this, I’m not here to say “she’s like 1,000 years old! So of course she isn’t a child!” I’m here to say, lots of people look older, or younger than they actually are. She’s almost the same height as Link, so if she were meant to be around his age, she’d probably be around 16, and if she’s 16, and Ghirahim is 17 according to his concept art, where did your argument go?

Speaking realistically, Hylia probably designed her to look young and ‘cute’ so she wouldn’t scare Link. Let’s be real, her personality is intimidating, and she was going to be projecting herself into his dreams, so if she had a intimidating appearance (like some of her old concepts), Link would probably be afraid of her.

That’s all. I could go deeper into some of these points, and add on other things, but I think some stuff is self-explanatory.

Now, even if you want to discredit everything I just said, Ghirahim and Fi are both adults in all of my work. Unless explicitly stated or shown otherwise.

I draw and write them how I envision them in my head. In Skyward Sword, I have always read both of them as adults. I have not aged-up Fi for this ship, that’s fucking weird. They are both adults.

[daydreamgoddess14]

First Impressions - Chapter 5

Ahhh, Glen Powell might have brought me back here, but I stay for River. Basically, I'm writing this for myself, and it's so much fun!

If you are reading, though, thank you 😘

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Masterlist

***********

Shirley’s eyes were boring a hole into River's skull. He could feel it. She watched him with such intensity, not hearing a word Lamb was saying. 

“Oi! Dander fucking daydream? You listenin’ or what?” Lamb bellowed, Shirley jumped. 

“What?” She sneered, “no boss, not fucking listening.”

“Stop mooning over Cartwright and get on with the surveillance on our little gang of thieves, yeah?”

“Ew, gross. Jesus, I nearly vommed-” Shirley started, expecting River to jump in, outraged. Instead, he tapped his fingers lightly on the desk and watched his phone, seemingly waiting for it to illuminate with a new message. “Earth to Cartwright?” Shirley called out, fed up with her insults being ignored. 

“Sorry, Shirl, gotta take this.” He held up the phone now flashing in his hand. She looked at Roddy in disbelief.

“Did he really just fucking call me Shirl?”

“He done you dirty there, mate.” Roddy agreed. 

“I'm not your mate, dicksplash.” She snarled. Her curiosity outweighed her contempt for him in the end. “Hasn't he been acting weird?”

“He's always weird.” Roddy scoffed.

“I think he's got a bird.”

“Who would shag that?”

“You would say that. You just don’t want to pay up.” She punched Roddy in the arm.

“Oi! I am a gentleman, I’ll pay.”

“Ho, you are fuckin’ further than Lamb from being a gentleman.”

“He’s not got a shag. Nahh. I refuse to believe it til I see CCTV evidence for the spank bank.”

 “Eugghh, god I think I'm gonna vom again. I’m not sure which is more disgusting, him with a bird or you having a wank.” Shirley shuddered at the thought. “Pay up, bitch.” She held out her hand.

“Uhh no chance. No confirmation, no payout.”

“You’re a prick, Ho.”

In his office, River checked the door was closed before he picked up. The previous evening Lexie had slipped from his warm bed and into the biggest operation of her policing career so far, and they hadn't parted on great terms. It had been weeks since their first night together and she'd spent many of those working early mornings and late nights getting closer and closer to being able to take out one of the top players of the sex trafficking ring. He'd found her in a cold bath the night before, hugging her knees, staring into space and shivering. 

“Food's ready, Lex, d'ya drown?” He tapped on the bathroom door, the hinges squeaking as it swung open. “Babe?” She shook from her reverie, wiping tears from her cheeks. 

“Shit, sorry. I got distracted.” She admitted with a small smile. He reached out for her hand, helping her stand and step out of the tub, grabbing a large towel to wrap around her. 

“You're freezing.” He rubbed her arms through the towel, enveloping her into him while she dithered. 

“I must have just blanked. I can't stop thinking about tomorrow,” she mumbled against his shoulder, his warm hands on her back held her close to give her as much of his body heat as possible. 

“C'mon, let's go to bed.”

“But you cooked?”

“Forget about that,” he pulled her into the bedroom and took the towel, kneeling in front of her to gently dry her thighs. She shivered under his touch as the towel was gradually replaced by his kisses following the same path. 

“Keep doing that and I'll fall over.” She warned with a breathy laugh. Reluctantly he got to his feet and led her to the bed, pulling her into his lap. 

“How're you feeling?” He asked, his concerned eyes searching hers. She shrugged,

“Weird. A bit scared, a bit excited.”

“You’re sure this is the only way?” Lexie slipped off his lap and pulled the towel back over herself to cover her body.

“Yes. River, I’ve got officers from all over the country coming down to help us get this over the line. We know what we’re doing.”

“These things go south so quickly, what if something happens?” His hand reached for her but she pulled away.

“I can’t back down from this operation. It’s too important, I can handle it. It’s all planned out.”

“That’s what worries me, it’s too risky.”

“We’ve got intel that he’s leaving for Europe in the next couple of days, if we don’t move now then more kids are in danger and he’ll be bringing more back with him. I can’t let that happen.”

“So you expect me to sit back while you put yourself in danger?”

“Yes River, I do. Because that’s the job. We both do it, and we both know what’s involved. C’mon, half the shit you pull at work is completely unplanned. How many times have I kept quiet when you come back with a black eye?” She fell silent with a shake of her head.

“I’m not saying you can’t handle it.” He said quietly.

“Sounds like it.”

“I’ve seen the Park’s intel on this gang, they’re dangerous and they’re capable of some really fucked up shit, Lex. This shouldn't even be a MET op, it should have been handed over a long time ago and you know it.”

“I know that, I’ve been working on it for ages. Children, River? Children being sold for sex. If you think I’m not going to do this, then you don’t know me at all. The Park didn't want to know, that's on them.” She frowned.

“That’s not fair. I know you’re not going to stop until it’s over. I just want you to be careful.”

“I’m gonna go back to mine. I need to get some sleep.” She got up from the bed and began pulling on a pair of jeans.

“Don’t go.” He pleaded.

“I need to focus. We’ll talk tomorrow after it’s all over.” She gently brushed the hair from his forehead and kissed him softly. She hesitated, her voice shaky “night, love.” His fingers gripped hers until they couldn’t reach any further and he let her leave.

“Is that River Cartwright?” The voice asked on the end of the phone.

“Yeah, who’s this?”

“Andy Powell, Lexie’s partner.” River felt the air leave his lungs,

“What happened?” he demanded.

“They’ve got her. There was a lot of gunfire, smoke grenades. I lost sight of her. Another officer saw her get dragged to a van with a couple of others. We’re 3 officers down and I don’t fucking know where to start,” the fresh anguish in his voice was clear. 

“Who’s in charge?”

“It’s up to Chief Super level, they’ve got the CCTV and there’s forensics at the warehouse as well.”

“How long has it been?” River looked at his watch, the operation had been due to commence at 5am and it was now 8.30am.

“90 minutes.”  

“What do you need?” He didn’t bother to ask how Andy got his number, he was just grateful that Lexie had the foresight to have given it to him in the first place.

“If you’ve got anyone who can help with tracing the vehicle? I’ve got names we can run through your databases… I-, I-” Andy’s voice shook. “It’s my fault.”

“Course it’s not, she’d have found a way to get into trouble all on her own. Send me all the details and I’ll get onto it now. Call me if anything changes.” River stressed, already throwing open his office door and taking the stairs down to Roddy two at a time. He rung off just as he reached the doorway. “Ho, I need you to run some plates, I want you all over CCTV in a 100 mile radius-”

“‘ang about, did Lamb authorise this?” Roddy demanded.

“Since when do you give a shit about that? I know you’re avoiding paperwork so just fucking do it and do it now.” River held out his phone with the details.

“Please?”

“Please, Roddy.” River dragged a hand over his face, “Please.” The younger man paused for a second, taken aback by River’s insistence which paled in comparison to his usual balls to the wall demands for assistance.

“Hold your horses.” He muttered, rapidly bringing up the various screens he needed and entering information as quickly as he could. “Time?”

“About 90 minutes ago.” They scanned the screens between them, the smoke from the warehouse creeping across the screens. Ho caught sight of the van in a corner of one camera angle but not enough to see a number plate. While River paced, he used the image to search surrounding cameras in the same time window. “There! What direction is that?”

“South. Still can’t get the plate.” 

“Fuck!” RIver yelled, aiming a punch at the wall alongside Roddy’s desk. “Keep trying. I’m getting the car, can you track this on the move?”

“What, come with you?”

“Yes or fucking no, Roddy?” River asked, shaking out his bloodied knuckles.

“Course I fucking can.” Roddy grabbed his laptop and various other cables and devices and thrust them into River’s arms.

“Where are you pussies going?” Shirley demanded, blocking the doorway.

“Move, Shirley.”

“Oi, manners.” River pushed everything back to Roddy and took hold of Shirley’s upper arms, marching her backwards to the front door. “Get your fucking hands of me, Cartwright.” With enough space, he let go and pushed past her with Roddy in tow. She trailed after them down the fire escape steps and jumped into the back of River’s car as he pulled a parking ticket from the front windscreen.

“Roddy?” River demanded, starting the car.

“Get south of the river, get on the A2.” His eyes flicked from one camera to the other, frantically looking for more information. River threw his phone into the backseat to Shirley. 

“Call back the last number that called me, put it on speaker.”

“Can one of you lunatics tell me what the fuck is going on?” The phone rang and rang until Andy’s voice finally filled the car.

“I’m heading for the A2. We think they’re going south.”

“Same, just getting in the van now. We’ve got them as far down as Canterbury. They’re heading for Dover.”

“They’ll be there by now.” River growled hitting the steering wheel. “We’re still over an hour away.”

“I know.” A strained silence filled the car. “What if they-”

“Don’t. They’re not getting her out of this fucking country. Over my dead body.”

“I know. She wanted me to tell you something?”

“She can tell me herself. She’s going to tell me herself.”

“Yeah. Yeah she will. Let us know how you get on, we’ve got blues on so we’ll beat you down there.”

“Do me a favour? Put a call into Kent police and tell them not to pull me over.”

“Yeah sure.” Andy agreed, Roddy called out River’s number plate and Shirley hung up the phone. They sat in silence as River navigated through Bermondsey. 

“You better have my money, Ho. I told you he had a bird.” Shirley kicked the seat in front of her.

*******************

The cloth bag over Lexie’s head smelled of petrol and made her feel sick. The van was swaying over the road and she felt her body crash into another and a hand hold onto her arm. She tried to shake it off.

“I’m with you. Police.” The voice stuttered. Lexie sighed with relief.

“Do you know what happened?”

“Smoke grenades. I think they grabbed someone else as well.”

“Me, it was me.” A smaller voice called out behind her. Lexie tried to move, her hands tied in front of her. She reached out until she felt another pair of hands and then a second pair.

“I’m Lexie Andrews with the MET.”

“Gary Clark, I came down from Manchester yesterday for the op.”

“Rach Norman, MET.” Lexie squeezed their hands, unable to see anything through the hood over her head. 

“Do you both have your heads covered?” They both confirmed. “Rach, don’t you work with Lucy Miller?” She asked, feeling her nod.

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

“We trained together.”

“I saw her get out. She was a bit knocked about.”

“We need to try and piece together what happened.”

“How do we know we’re alone?” 

“We don’t. Doesn’t matter though does it?”

“They could shut us up. Hurt us?”

“Well till then we carry on, we need to work together. I wonder if we can get these hoods off, are they tied?”

“I think so, but I can try and find the knot on yours?” Lexie reached out, her hands making their way up a pair of arms and feeling at the neck for a knot. “I think it’s behind. Can you turn? Is it Rach or Gary?”

“It’s Gaz.” He twisted away from her and she put a hand up his back until she felt the tight knot of the hood.

“Shit that’s really tight.”

“I’ll come behind you Lexie and try to undo yours.” Rach offered. Lexie felt her hand on her shoulder first, and then on the hood where they tried to work the knot free. They worked in frustrated silence, Lexie could feel her fingers cramping. She sighed heavily.

“It’s not coming loose.” She said, dejected. The movement of the van wasn’t helping, neither was the smell of petrol.

“I think I’m getting somewhere.” Rach huffed, “forgot to take my nail extensions off.”

“Yeah me too.” Gary agreed, raising a small laugh from the confirmed space.

“God I feel ill.” Lexie groaned.

“Car sick?”

“Petrol smell, car sick, sick of this shit… any idea how long we’ve been moving?”

“I tried to keep a rough count but I lost it a while ago, I think I got to about 45 minutes. I’m pretty sure we’re on a motorway though.” Gary said.

“Wonder if we’re going north,” Rach said, “Gaz might be home for dinner.”

“Oh don’t, I’m starving.”

“More likely to be south.” Lexie suggested.

“You think they’ll put us on a boat?” Gary asked. Lexie shrugged.

“I don’t know. That would be my guess.” A breeze hit the back of her neck as Rach gasped,

“Oh! I’ve got it!” She and Lexie pulled at the hood until it came off and Lexie could adjust her eyes to the light. They were alone in the back of the van. Able to see at last, she was able to work the knot on Gary’s hood loose and pull it off and then did the same for Rach. She vaguely recognised Gary from the briefing hours before and Rach from years of policing in the same area. They exchanged small smiles of relief.

“They might just kill us.” Rach said quietly. The smiles faltered and they all sighed.

“No.” Gary said suddenly, his voice laced with anger. “No fucking way.” Lexie nodded in agreement.

“You’re right. No fucking way. We need a plan. We need to figure out how we got into this and how we’re gonna get out. We can’t assume that there’s a team trying to find us.”

“3 missing officers? Surely that's hit the news by now.” Rach queried. 

“They'll keep it quiet for as long as possible. Just in case there isn't a happy ending.” Gary said while he fiddled with the binds on his ankles.

“Gary so help me I will make sure you're eating fish and chips for your dinner before you know it.” Lexie grimaced doing the same to the ties on Rach's wrists. “Right, what happened in the warehouse?”

“I was in green team, east entrance. We were overwhelmed from the outset, way more of them than we'd been briefed on.” Gary started. Lexie looked ashamed. 

“We were given bad intel.” She admitted, “I didn't realise until it was too late to pull back. I tried to call it off but green and blue groups had already gone in and it was a free for all.”

“It's not your fault kid.” He reassured her. 

“I appreciate that Gaz, but it was.”

“No.” Rach interrupted with a frown, “I think there was a mole. Someone who knew we were going to be there must have tipped them off. They had as many men as we did officers, that was no accident.” Lexie smiled,

“Should apply for a Detective Sergeant job, Rach.” The younger woman grinned in return. “I think you're right. This has been need to know only for months, something doesn't seem right.” The van lurched to a stop and the three frantically looked at each other before pulling the hoods back over their heads untied.

“Alright piggies. Time for a piss break. Who needs a tinkle?” A voice taunted. None of them replied. “Suit ya self.” There was a thud as something dropped between them and the van door was closed again. Lexie pulled off the hood to find a bag with a bottle of water and two cheese sandwiches on the floor. With their hoods off again, they looked through cracks in the film covering the rear van windows for a clue to their location. In the near distance, they heard a horn sound. 

“That's a ferry.” Gary muttered. “Someone's getting out of the county, just depends whether it includes us or whether they'll kill us first.”

*******************

“River,” Andy’s voice filled the car, “we think the van stopped at a service station near the ferry terminal and changed plates. Next ferry is in 3 hours, we think they're gearing up to leave.”

“Got it, Ho, check the CCTV and see if you can get the new plates, they'd have to book on the ferry with some sort of vehicle I.D.” Roddy tapped furiously,

“I'll keep looking.”

“Look at the whole carpark, if they've still got the police officers then they'd want to stay away from the busy areas.”

“They could have dumped them by now, killed them.” Andy replied. 

“Doubt it, I've been looking into the two female officers taken, I reckon the gang will just sell them into the trade once they're in Europe.” Shirley told him. 

“What about the fella? Why even take him if that's the plan?”

“Not much on him, you sure he's Manchester police?” She asked. 

“Yeah, that's what the paperwork said.” 

“Fuck, Roddy run the blokes details. I want to know everything down to when he last had a wank.” River interrupted. “Andy, we're 5 miles from the meet point. I think this Manchester guy is in on it.” Shirley hung up the phone. “Fuck sake!” River pulled and pushed at the steering wheel in rage, making the car sway.

“Calm the fuck down Cartwright, we're nearly there.” Shirley told him sharply. As he pulled the car in behind two police vans and 3 unmarked cars, Roddy looked up from the laptop. 

“He rocked up last night with the Manchester lot but from what I've seen so far… he ain't a copper.” 

*******************

Chapter 6

[jocelynscrazyideas]

Can u write something about Jackson Edwards’s??

He has no insta pics but search him up on TikTok if you don’t already know him!!!🩵🩵

Free | Jackson Edwards x Fem!Reader

Summary: after a night of fun, you wake up completely convinced you did something wrong. It’s NHL draft day, your boyfriend has been drafted, but abandoned you for a night.

Warnings: angst, fluff, SMUT ⚠️ (unprotected pls be careful and use proper protection)

•◌•◌•★•◌•◌•

It’s draft night. Jackson hasn’t called me yet.

In our relationship, we cant see eachother for at least three hours before something very important like games, meetings, school events, or the draft.

It’s been more than three hours. It’s been 13. I came to the draft in Montreal, 2022. Jackson had invited me to come. I’m staying in a room by myself, the family decided to get one, and Jackson was supposed to share with me. For good luck. Last minute he decided to stay with a past teammate.

“Im just saying, he either is sticking to the unspoken rule we have, or I did something really bad when I was drunk.” I’m on call with my bestfriend, Piper.

“No. He’s just probably really busy. And he slept in a room full of guys he’s known since- like what? 16. Don’t sweat it. He’ll come around.” She calms me down.

I’m pacing back and forth in my hotel room. I packed up everything, it’s the last day to stay. We check out today at 6:30 and the draft is at 4:18. I’ll check out early but I would be leaving Jackson alone in Montreal for a night.

~

“With the number 200 pick, the Boston bruins draft… Defenceman Jackson Edwards!”

I scream in excitement, I remember looking at Jack to see what he was going to do. If he either was going to hug his mom, or me. He slides a smirk at me, hugs me and lets go. He pushed his lips onto my cheek, leaving a deep kiss. He warps his body around to flip over to his mom.

“I love you. Thank you for always supporting me.” He whispers to her. I’m forever grateful for this boy being in my life. He’s such a mammas boy.

I watch him walk down the stairs and up to the stage. Montreal, what a special place.

~

I didn’t see Jackson for hours because he was already filming social media content for the bruins, and to mention the endless press always talking to him for q&a’s.

“Hey babe, I’m on my way to the hotel, I was wondering if you wanted to spend the night here. You know instead of going back home.” Jack left me a voicemail.

Honestly, I was too angry at him to even think about him. I love him so much that my head hurts. I could be sent to a ward if I didn’t know I was crazy for our love.

I immediately texted him back,

Uhh, yeah sure. I would be mega jet lagged anyway, I would rather do it with you. Heading over to the room 🩷

Okay see ya soon, door is unlocked 🐱💦

ew. No.

read

~

I make it to the room, the door was held open by someone’s shoe. “Babe?” I crept through the door.

“Wait!” Jackson yells through the room.

he came running to the door, pushing me out of the room. “I have a suprise.” He laughs and backs away. Leaving me alone in the hallway, with a visible open door.

“Hurry! I look stupid! Is anyone else in there?” I groan in annoyance.

“Settle down, it’s just me. Me and you!” Jackson takes my bags and throws them. I hear a thump from my big suitcase, I’m sure I’ll have to buy a new one. “It’s okay. I can buy you a new bag.” It’s like he can read my mind.

“Come!” He runs his hands up my arm. I reach for the door, he jolts to open the door before I can. I walk in to an empty room.

“I have to leave tomorrow around 4, someone booked me a media conference and it’s all happening so fast, so we should talk about what happened.” Jackson quiets down, as if I were a side gig he had to hide out of embarrassment.

I backed up into the room. Deepening the stay. I sit on a bed, Jackson follows behind me. He sits opposite from me on the other bed in the room.

White sheets tucked into the hotel bed finally wrinkle, I can see his eyes. He’s really hurt. He sucks his teeth. Kissing himself.

“I’m not mad. I’m just confused.” He confessed. He brushes his hair back. His eyes, laser like, burn into my eyes. I have no idea what happened when I got drunk but I’m scared. “So.. I’m sorry?” I pushed out.

Impulsively, I hug him. I feel Jackson tighten his arms around me. His hands wander. “It’s fine. Honestly, I’m just confused why you were dancing in other guys.”

“What?” I’m embarrassed. I was probably so drunk that I thought random guys were Jackson.

“It’s okay.” He pulls his shirt off. He twirled me around. We dance. He rips off my clothes. Laundry every where. New kiss marks appear on my abdomen.

“I don’t care. Ttruthfully, it turned me on.” He laughed out. “But… if you were to apologize, you can show me by..” he trails off. Pulling off his pants. I see his already hard dick.

He’s bare, nude, and already laying down- ready for me. I jump ontop of him. Laying a big kiss on his lips. I stick my tounge into his mouth. He moves his tongue into my mouth. We massage eachothers mouths. His hands wander down to my bare ass.

I slide my hand down his abs. Feeling his love trail under his belly button. I reach for his sensitive balls. Playing with them I stick my finger into his mouth. Reaching for his dick I start to suck down.

~

Feelibg my mouth fill with cum. I hit my gagging point. I pull up, he shoves my head down. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I squeeze his balls harder. He jolts up. And I lift up from his shaft.

Tears fall from my eyes. I gag one last time. He feels my hole, I straddle ontop of him. “Already wet? For me?” He moans out. He grabs me closer, kissing me. Tounges feeling up eachother. He lifts me up, I sit down on him, landing on his dick.

His hardened cock sticks inside. I let out a breathe. Letting myself set up for him. I push him down into his back, I stack a movement, my ass hits his legs, skin smacking skin.

I smell our cum mixing together.

~

My favorite thing about Jackson is his love for physical touch. His aftercare feels so special.

“Go pee. Come back and I’ll have stuff out.” I hurry out of bed to go pee. Jackson pulls snacks out of his bag. He turns on a movie for us. He lays out a sleep shirt of his for me.

I walk out of the bathroom. The hotel smells like fresh laundry. I hear Jackson laugh as I look confused. My body, cold, breast hang, ass out, bare body, I come running to the bed. I slide into the white oversized shirt. Jackson kisses me on my forehead, he whispers affectionate affirmations to me.

He cuddles into me, I let him snuggle his head into my breast. I watch the movie and he eats the snacks.

we have a pro player in our lives, and I’m proud to say that I’ve known him since before his days.

[underworld-park-offical]

TOLKIEN: God what's your problem now

TOLKIEN: So what if he has only twenty followers?

TOLKIEN: It is not  that deep

CRAIG: Omg not you assuming that this is about his follower account

CRAIG: It is LITERALLY not about that

TOLKIEN: Then what is it about?

CRAIG: He was in like

CRAIG: All of my classes

CRAIG: It's giving stalker

TOLKIEN: So what?

TOLKIEN: That's how scheduling works

TOLKIEN: Maybe this is fate like

TOLKIEN: Saying this guy is supposed to be friends with you?

TOLKIEN: I don't know!

CRAIG: Omggggg it's giving fortune teller, slayyyyy

CRAIG: But maybe ur right

CRAIG: Tho idk

CRAIG: He just gives me off vibes

CRAIG: Like Dahmer or something.

TOLKIEN: Are you implying he might be a demon?

CRAIG: Yeah, what else would I be implying?

CRAIG: That I'm trying to rizz him up??

CRAIG: Ew

CRAIG: I'm dead

CRAIG: I am

CRAIG: Deceased

TOLKIEN: I fucking hate you

CRAIG: I love you too bbg

CLYDE: Back off!!

CLYDE: MY KITTEN!!

CLYDE: Ggrr… >:(

TOLKIEN: Clyde, this isn’t discord-

CLYDE: …

CLYDE: ….Oh

CLYDE: (HISS)

CRAIG: OMG EW

CRAIG: Get away from me with your discord moderating ass!!!

CLYDE: (Growls)

CRAIG: EWWWWWUHHHH

TOLKIEN: ( Keep going, hun, maybe he’ll finally leave )

CRAIG: That kid was like

CRAIG: Weird as fuck

CRAIG: He probably smells or somethi-

CRAIG: (fake ass voice) Ohmigod Heyyyyyyy!

TWEEK: I heard you talking shit about me

TWEEK: Not cool, dude

TWEEK: I just got here and you already want drama

TWEEK: And you know what?

TWEEK: You’re the biggest fucking asshole I've ever met

TWEEK: You literally talk shit about people who give you a bad feeling because deep down YOU know you're insecure

TWEEK: You’re probably lying about the millions and millions of viewers you have you little shit

TWEEK: They're probably either bots or desperate sticky iPad kids who have too much fucking free time

TWEEK: You DESERVE all the hate you're getting right now

TWEEK: You dont know when to stop and leave someone alone.

TWEEK: One of my best friends is LOCKED in his ROOM because of your two tone google chrome metro phone yeezy breezy lemon squeezy supreme krispy creme looking ass!

TWEEK: You are a SHITTY person and let's not lie here

TWEEK: Your content SUCKS

TWEEK: It's so basic and “trendy” it makes you look bad

TWEEK: It makes you look worse, in fact

TWEEK: Oh and your Grimace Shake video? FLOP. 

TWEEK: You can't even fucking DANCE

TWEEK: Getting those piercings to LOOK like an edgy emo but really, it makes you look like you have a stupid reverse smiley face or a goddamn death wish

TWEEK: GOD you're just- RRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!

CRAIG: ….

TWEEK: I've never met anyone as INSUFFERABLE and DOUCHEY as YOU ARE

TWEEK: Everytime I'm near you I just want to SHAKE AND STRANGLE YOU

TOLKIEN: Oh my god

TOLKIEN: You're saying everything that I'm thinking right now

CLYDE: PREACH PREACH PREACH

TWEEK: GRAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

TWEEK: ( angry feet stomping )

CRAIG: This bitch crazy

CRAIG: Like the video if you agree

TWEEK: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

CLYDE: …Hey

CLYDE: Hey uh

CLYDE: Do you wanna like

CLYDE: Do you

CLYDE: Do you wanna like

CLYDE: Sit

CLYDE: Here???

CLYDE: Maybe???

TOLKIEN: Yeah, you seem cool

TWEEK: Uhh…. sure???? 

TWEEK: As long as I don't have to sit next to this supreme covered, blue balled, narcissistic prick

(EDITS AND GRIMACE SHAKE VIDEO DRAWING MADE BY @pissblanket <333 )

[the-haunted-prince-au]

ITS FINALLY HERE AFTER MONTHS OF PROCRASTINATION! And it's the longest chapter yet!

Chapter 3

Snatcher didn't know how to feel. There in the dinning room was the monster that haunted his afterlife the horrific beast that had an unpredictable temper and often took her anger out on others... Looking at him like he was some kind of small cute animal. He had forgotten how tame she used to be when she wasn't upset. No wonder she loved him THEY WERE BOTH DORKS! she was just a significantly prettier dork. Wait,? What was he thinking? EW NO he hates this woman! Doesn't he? YES! Yes he does stay focused! "Good mooorning My Prince!" She spoke in a sing-song voice. Yup definitely a dork. Snatcher hoped giving her the silent treatment would work because if anyone was gonna notice his voice it was going to be her! "Oddly quiet today my love? Are you feeling sick?" She got up out her seat and tried to hug him resulting in Snatcher letting out a startled hiss. "dang it!" He hadn't been human in 1000's of years and hissing was one of those behaviors he picked up in that time. "Oh my! Are you upset today? What did I do?" She said shocked from the sudden reaction "you touched me without my consent what did you expect to happen?" He muttered under his breath. God breathing sucked! "What was that My Prince?" Oh boy he could sense it she was getting mad! "Nothing Vanessa" he replied in a snarky tone "oh? What happened to the name Princess?" "Nothing I just think Vanessa suits you better" "buts thats my real name I thought you agreed to only refer to me as princess!" Snatcher Grinned "I take it back" "YOU PROMISED!" A spike of ice shot up almost impaling poor Salem "uhm breakfast is ready-" good he didn't need to eat but he wanted to have an excuse to stop talking to Vanessa. His enthusiasm only got bigger when he saw what was on his plate. "Bacooooon-" he was not immune to bacon... And he never was. However over a millennia of consuming the souls of the innocent leads to some unpleasant visuals at the table... Snatcher bit into a piece of bacon as hard as he could and started ripping it apart with his teeth and claws. Salem proceeded to leave the room as Vanessa stared in pure horror. Just the way he liked it. "My Prince... WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???" "bacon" Snatcher responded with a smug look on his face. "MY PRINCE IM SERIOUS DO YOU NEED HELP??? IM GETTING HELP!" Uh oh! Uhh think of something! "Are you sure YOU don't need help?" Vannesa flintched. Nailed it. "Hehehe WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?" Snatcher made sure to put on his creepiest smile as the lights flickered out.

"You know what I said!"

Huh so he did still have some of his powers. Vanessa looked like she was about to snap. "LISTEN HERE YOU-" she then realized she was talking to her "precious little Prince" and backed down. She finished her breakfast in angry silence as Snatchers smug grin only got bigger. In that very moment he used his past selves body to verbally harass his abusive ex and get away with it scar free. He was ecstatic so ecstatic that he decided to take a walk around the village and maybe try another jab at Vanessa when he gets back. Poke the sleeping bear and all that jazz. "Hey everyone look it's Prince!" A swarm of children proceeded to corner him but not just any annoying children the village children "can you play us a tune on your fancy violin?" "OO OOH! How about you tell us a story!" "Yeah tell us a story!" Ignoring the sinking feeling in his gut (ew) Snatcher tried to mimic his old self. He just couldn't be mean to the children. "Sorry little ones I'm not feeling so well and I forgot violin back at the manor but if you all run along I'll be back tomorrow!" (Eugh! He'd have to remind himself to never speak like that again) "oki Mr Prince! Come on guys let's go play somewhere else!" The children left him alone and now could continue walking in peace- "you handled that well you highness"

Crap. A young woman with poppy red hair, a large braid, and sun kissed freckled skin had noticed him internally gagging he prepared himself for more social interaction. "Hiii Ivy-" "dude that was the worst voice crack I've ever heard holy cow!" Oh yeah his voice used to crack when he was nervous. And apparently it still did curse this flesh vessel- "so how are you doing now that your back from that fancy law school!" "What" "your back from the academy? I thought it was obvious" she jokingly said. There was an intense moment of awkward silence. "OK IM GOING BACK TO THE MANOR NOW BYEE IVY-" he cringed as he heard his voice crack. There was no way forget annoying Vanessa he need to think about this. As he entered the manor he saw them. The flowers he had bought for Vanessa placed nicely in a pot. "I'm starting to think this isn't the right past"

@return-of-the-queen-au

[cherryluvrx3]

meat lovers amirite??

Dave Strider x Reader x Karkat Vantas

Chapter 1

“Christ it’s always so goddamn hot..” Dave grumbled behind the cash register and wiped some sweat off his forehead. It was another Wednesday afternoon that was spent working for the best (not true) pizzeria ever, Pizza Hut. It was early march and even though it wasn’t necessarily hot outside, the heat inside the place was stuffy and unbearable.

It also didn’t help that they had hot pizzas being cooked, going in and out of ovens that let out little bursts of heat whenever they were opened.

“Yeah it’s even worse now that the air conditioner’s broken-“ “AND THAT WE’RE- SORRY I’M, COOKING HOT ASS PIZZAS!” Karkat cut off John, who was mopping in the front, with a yell from the kitchen.

“Stop complaining and get back to work, doughboy!” John shouted back. “DON’T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE!” Karkat yelled and the two were about to start their usual bickering.

“Guys wait, shut up there’s a call coming in.” Dave shushed the both of them and picked up the phone while Karkat grumbled to himself.

“Hi this is Pizza Hut, what can I get you?”

“Yeah hi! Can I get 3 pi-“

“Wait, for pick up or delivery?”

“Oh, uh delivery but yeah can I get 3 pizzas? One pepperoni, one sausage, and one meatlovers.”

“Alrightt… anything else?”

“10 breadsticks and 20 Cinnabons?”

“ Damn- I mean- ok anything else?”

“Uh.. yeah so like…”

They paused and he could hear murmuring in the back.

“Yeah?”

“Can you um.. can you hehe- send your uh, cutest delivery boy?”

…?

“…Haha what.”

“That’s it ok bye!”

The call ended and Dave just shrugged off what he just heard as another one of the harmless pranks he’d hear as someone working the phones and finished putting in the order.

He looked over to the keys that were for the delivery car before thinking, ‘hmm.. it’d be nice to stretch my legs and get some fresh air’ and then snatched them up, swinging them around his finger in a cool nonchalant manner.

“Heh John guess what?” Dave called to John who was now wiping down the windows.

“Yeah?”

“I just got a call requesting “the cutest delivery boy” you know what that means?”

“Uhh.. no?.. what..?”

“That means you can’t go.” Dave snickered to himself and went to the back while John just yelled out an offended, “What’s that supposed to mean!?”

———

“Ugghh!!” I screamed into a pillow right after I clicked the end call button while my friends just laughed at me. “Hey! You forgot to order wings!” Terezi complained. “Oh no! I’m not calling again!” I told her while I felt my own hot cheeks. Roxy, the evil witch who was the one that set me up to humiliate myself, giggled next to me, “Oh my god! Haha! At least he seemed like- chill about it?” Roxy patted my shoulder as I just sunk deeper into the couch, pouting.

“C'mon that’s a good thing! Means it probably won’t be that awkward when you open the door!” “WHAT?” I snapped my head to look at her in surprise.

“Well.. think about it! You’re the one who called! You should open the door.” Nepeta chuckled from her spot on the carpet. “NO??? That means I shouldn’t have to answer??!” I whined as I shook the little cat girl by the shoulders. “Chill your motherfuckin’ grill little mama… it’s not that serious.. besides, if you play your cards right, you might be able to hit it off with pizza boy and finally land a boyfriend or some shit..” Gamzee said also from his spot on the carpet.

“I don’t think I’m getting a boyfriend from this Gamzee..” “I bet he’s gonna be ugly anyways.” Terezi snickered before going back to chewing on one of my pillows ew.

“Well it’s nice to be optimistic right!? A knight in shining armor-“ “You know damn well no pizza delivery boy is a knight in shining armor.” Roxy laughed while Nepeta pouted, “Well we’ll see when he gets here!”

———

About 15 minutes later, the doorbell rings and I get practically shoved to the door while the others hide behind a corner to watch. I pat down a few stray hairs- why am I so nervous? I’m literally never gonna see this guy again, I might as well rip the bandaid off, open the door, give him money, grab the pizza, wait.. wait wait wait - I hung up before he could tell me the price. Ugh now I have to have a conversation with him- oh god fucking damnit..

I open the door and right as I’m about to speak my voice cuts out. Okay, the dude isn’t devastatingly hot but he’s fairly cute, which is wayy more than what I was expecting from a Pizza Hut delivery boy..

“The cutest delivery boy is here.” He says with a smug tone, presenting himself like he’s the best thing since sliced bread.

Oh.

Oh god eugh ..

He’s a prick…

[tippexdeluxe]

Okay personal thoughts on neopronouns not just general thoughts: whatever I guess? Like I don’t use many of them because I live in Cornwall which is like (try as people do to establish a leftist basis here the place still holds a lot of very old views, mostly among younger people weirdly like I find it seems more to be my peers around 14-16 age who are quite outdated in their views like most adults have this ‘uhh live and let live I guess? It’s weird and I understand none of it but whatever I have bigger fish to fry’ attitude but people my age have this very ‘ew it’s gross and weird and wrong I hate it bad evil evil kill it with fire’ (that’s hyperbolic but I digress).

Also I feel like funnily the old old people are more leftist that the young people like if I talk leftist stuff with like the 60-80 year olds in Cornwall they’re very ‘it sadly won’t work in life but it’s good and I wish it did work’ whereas you talk it with someone around my age it’s ’you’re an idiot commie you fascist’ (okay maybe it’s just the people at my school. Not sure? Half of them are rampantly anti-queer, a sixth of the total are rampantly queer, and the remaining one third are that sudo-leftist thing where they aren’t anti-leftist but they aren’t actively leftists)) pretty right wing/centre right

But I don’t think I mind neopronouns? Most people using pronouns in general are talking about me when I’m not there (if people do that? Idk) so I don’t mind but also I like the idea of Bingus, if solely for that one meme that ends with ‘so anyway Bingus was telling me’ because it sounds good and funny and all yknow?

Anyway that’s all do what you like people be happy ig

[blindrapture]

TUESDAY JUNE 7TH, 2011 (The Minotaur of Lloret de Mar)

10:22 AM Oh my god, I’m sleeping a lot. C’mon, Jordan. We don’t want to sleep too much. You never know what the fuck’ll happen if we sleep too much. Let’s get a move on.

10:57 AM Well, I’m in. ..what the fuck, blue sky? There’s a blue sky here. I’m keeping my crowbar close.

11:06 AM This whole town looks completely normal. Blue sky, perfectly well-kept buildings, clean streets, lots of people around, normal people…

11:14 AM I swear I just heard someone whisper “el bufon blanco.” People are looking at me.Fuck. They’re all looking at me. I’m going down this alley.

11:16 AM I was expecting something like getting mugged or something. This is much worse. The sky is red again, the streets are scattered with puddles of blood, I hear cawing in every direction, gunshots and screams in various, and just.. oh my god. The buildings are torn apart. I think I just left a rabbit hole. I didn’t realize I was in one.

11:24 AM Graffiti on the walls. Everyone loves graffiti. A lot of it’s in Spanish. Well, there’s some English. “WHERE ARE YOUR SLCEMS NOW, PUTAS?” “HELL FROM THE SKIES” That sounds like a Pantera album. “COLD BOY” And that sounds like a Lady Gaga song. “CONVOCATION IS CAWS” ”Convocation.” The Thunderbirds are the Convocation, apparently. “WHAT DID DOCTOR CLOUD DISCOVER IN THE GENERA?” Well, that’s cryptic. “DRAW A STAIRWAY FOR MY GOD TO SPITE THE SOFA OF MY FAITH” ”^ UHH WHAT” “^THE WORDS OF DEGAN ALLEN.” ”^ WHEN DID HE SAY THAT, THAT SOUNDS RETARDED.” ”^ LOWEST POINT, NEWFAG.” ”^ YOU’RE THE NEWFAG; THE LINE IS ‘DAWN, I STILL WAIT FOR MY GOD DESPITE THE SELF-HELP OF MY FAITH,’ JACKASS.” Oh my god, “Draw a stairway for my God” is written all over by different handwritings below. These guys are dicks. “WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF DEGAN ALLEN, SATCH BOOGIE ROCKS.” ”^ YEAH, BUT WHICH ONE IS PINK?” “EL BUFON BLANCO AQUI” Aqui. I don’t know what aqui means. “THE CHURCH IS SAFE” Ah! A lead! Okay, gotta find the church, then.

11:45 AM “Draw a stairway for my God” is written everywhere now, oh my god. That first guy must feel like a real idiot.

11:52 AM I have no idea where the church is. And there is a lot of blood around here. SHIT

12:00 PM I had to hide. It was a group of people with shotguns. I heard some of them mention me— that is, “el bufon blanco.” I also heard one mention “el rio,” and “el iglesia.” Now, those happen to be words I actually know. “El iglesia’s”… okay, it’s either ice cream, England, or a church. But I’m pretty sure those people would be talking about a church, so I think it’s probably that. “El rio,” when not talking about the town or Duran Duran, is.. uh… either a casino or a river. I think. So I just have to look for a casino or a river, and I’ll.. probably.. figure it out.

12:14 PM Holy goddamn Hoover Dam. That’s a river, alright. There’s a river of blood here. I’m guessing this river used to be a street. A big street. I see strip clubs down there. I’m not supposed to cross this river, am I?

12:22 PM Graffiti outside this pizza shop. “CHURCH ON THE OTHER SIDE OF RIVER” Me and my big mouth. …“DRAW A STAIRWAY FOR MY GOD.”

12:23 PM Alright. How the hell am I gonna cross this river? ..how deep is it? ew Huh, I can just wade across. So I’ll do that.

12:25 PM Oh my god I hate thisrrrffff OH GOD GO FASTER GO FASTER THERE’S A FUCKING …I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT WHATEVER IT IS, IT’S FAR DOWN THE RIVER AND COMING THIS WAY THIS IS A BIG RIVER

12:27 PM Oh my god that’s a Minotaur. There’s a fucking Minotaur coming after me. Run, legs. Run.

12:28 PM DUDE OH GOD Made it. …IT’S STILL AFTER ME, RUN

12:29 PM I’M LOST IN THE WRONG SIDE OF THE RIVER THE BUILDINGS ARE A MAZE OH GOD HELP

12:30 PM blue sky I didn’t even enter an alley. I’m just back in a rabbit hole. ..people everywhere looking at me fuuuuuck. And my pants are soaked in blood at the bottom. And I’m carrying a crowbar. I look extremely suspicious.

12:32 PM Yeaaaah, I’m just gonna walk into this building here, stop looking at me.

12:33 PM RED SKY, I’ve never been so happy to see you. Oh hey, graffiti. “CHURCH THIS WAY” “ALSO WATCH OUT FOR THE MINOTAUR" Oh hey, thanks.

12:35 PM ..I can hear the Minotaur trotting nearby. “CHURCH ->” Okay, I think I should be able to make it if it stays this easy. It’s just Jordan in the Minotaur’s Maze. With a crowbar.

12:37 PM And okay, I just.. what. There are several different alleys and footpaths to go down, and no sign to let me know where to go. ..I hear the Minotaur coming. I need to make a decision.

12:38 PM This was a rabbit hole. Fuck that, going back. OH HELLO MINOTAUR I WAS JUST, UH… GOING INTO THIS RABBIT HOLE! Okay, so much for that. It looks like it’s Jordan in the Minotaur’s Rabbit Hole Maze. With a crowbar.

12:39 PM Let’s fucking do this, into this building. Great, more paths. Let’s take a left. Rabbit hole, four directions. Let’s go forward. Still rabbit hole. Five directions. Uh.. right.

12:40 PM Lloret, three directions. Left. Still Lloret, oh my god. Seven directions, and I can hear trotting coming from somewhere, but the echo in this place… I can’t figure it out. Forward-right.

12:41 PM I’m at the seaside. No churches here, but I see some strings on the beach. Not approaching ‘em, no way. There’s gotta be at least a couple dozen paths back into town from here, so which one will I pick? ..this one. Rabbit hole! ..four choices. Left, forward, up or down. Let’s go down, deeper into the rabbit hole.

12:42 PM ..this is a forest. Trees surround me; I can go anywhere from here. I hear some rustling from the right, so fuck that shit, let’s go left. Forward. Forward-right. Forward. Left. …random wall. Back. c,old whoa hi, uh.. it’s the little kid. From Berga. The kid doesn’t know how to get back; I asked him. I also asked if he wanted to come along with me, as I do intend on finding my way out. He didn’t answer. He just started reciting “Old King Cole.” I don’t like “Old King Cole.” I grew up listening to Genesis’ “The Musical Box,” which had an excerpt from it before cutting back to the main song, and I’m still so used to that. The real version of the nursery rhyme just sounds off to me as a result.

12:46 PM The kid’s following me. He looks cold. But it’s pretty warm here.. wherever we are. I asked him where we are. He said “Xanadu.” o_o Like the Rush song? He wants to get out of here. I told him I did too.

12:47 PM I just took four rights. But I’m in a different place.

12:50 PM Oh my goodness, there’s a ladder. ..the kid’s gone. Fuck it, I’m going up this ladder.

12:52 PM I’m back in the Minotaur’s Maze. I hear stomping very nearby. Left, right, or forwards? ..forwards.

12:53 PM BACKWARDS BACKWARDS BACKWARDS RIGHT NOW LEFT FORWARD RIGHT FORWARD FORWARD FORWARD UP THIS FUCKING STAIRCASE OH GOD DEAD-END. Minotaur Minotaur Minotaaauurrr. …bring it on.

12:54 PM Got him in the eye, now I’m running again oh god! Right! Forward! Left! Right! Left! Forward! Forward! Leeeeeft I hear him Left Right Forward forward left forward Right forward right backward left forward Up this staircase ForwHIDE

12:57 PM There’s a woman on a motorbike. She’s driving by, I’m hiding. ..Minotaur just got fucking shot in the face. Oh my god, the Minotaur’s dead. The lady on the bike is telling me I can come out now. Says to call her “I-330.”

1:04 PM I-330 told me I should turn back now. She said the church is just up ahead, but they’re not gonna let me in. In fact, I’m gonna get shot on sight. Because I’m el bufon blanco, the White Jester. Fucking “Jester;” “bufon’s” a false cognate. I asked why the White Jester’s a bad thing. She said I’m a terrorist and a murderer. I’m “the worst of the Harlequin’s pets,” because I’m after very high figures in the resistance. I tried to explain that I don’t have a choice, and she said I do; I can choose to fight back. She didn’t let me reply. “Just.. watch out. I’d turn back if I were you, White Jester.” Right before she drove off, I asked if she knew what Rapture was. She looked at me. She looked past me. She said “Yes.” I asked what, and she just said “It’s coming. That’s all you need to know.” Then she drove off. So I’m the White Jester. The resistance hates me, wants me dead. Maybe I really shouldn’t go to the church. …but then again, maybe I should. If they won’t let me in, I’ll look elsewhere for Rimara.

1:08 PM Oh my god, that’s a huge church. The towers are colourful. Or maybe that’s just blood. ..I’m gonna knock on the door and ask to be let in. It didn’t work for Solid Snake, but it might work for me.

1:09 PM Maybe nobody’s home HI HI

1:10 PM I asked to be let in, they asked who I am. I asked who they thought. He said “George Jetson.” What a card. So I just said my name. They’re thinking it over now. ..they’re letting me in. This’ll be the first time in my entire life that I’ve set foot in a church.

1:12 PM THEY ALL PULLED PITCHFORKS ON ME Crowbar’s ready.

1:58 PM Hello, Gregori Rimara. I’m raising my crowbFUCKER WHERE ARE YOU GOING FUCK He’s going out to the streets, the maze of streets. WAIT, I NEED TO KILL YOU!

2:03 PM I must have killed, like, a whole squad of rebels, but I can’t catch up to Gregori. ..I-330’s motorbike. Seriously? This isn’t a trap or something? …awesome.

2:11 PM GOT HIM, oh my god. I spotted him, stuck my crowbar out, and I got him. Okay, uh… huh. He’s dead, alright. Yeah, you can’t get much deader than that. Blunt object at high speeds to the head. Yeah. I’m getting the fuck out of this crazy town and putting this entire adventure out of my head. o_e

2:29 PM Motorbikes can go through rabbit holes, whoo. Fuck this maze shit; I’m looking for an expressway or something.

2:30 PM There’s a big sign here that says “Expressway.” …huh.

2:33 PM WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CAN FEEL THE WIIIND BLOWING THROUGH MY ATTRACTIVE YOUNG BLONDE HAIR. ;D Actually, I can’t. Speed limit’s 10 miles an hour. …ah, what the fuck. There’s nobody around.

2:34 PM I FEEL YOUNG AGAIN :DDDDDD

2:59 PM If you were to ask me where the hell I am now, I wouldn’t be able to answer you. There are some cats wandering around. Normal cats. And there’s a green bus right there. Double-decker. Just sittin’ there, too. This looks like a baaad neighbourhood. The houses look like giant watermelons, but on fire. And there’s a guy over there who’s got two heads. I’m looking for an exit to this rabbit hole.

3:01 PM Mister Two-Head over there’s eating a pumpkin. I keep going past this street but then I just end up driving right back into it. It’s like an endless loop of this neighbourhood. I think I’m gonna look around.

3:03 PM Mister Two-Head’s name is Ryan. Ryan Tuhed, actually. Huh.

3:04 PM Checking out the watermelon house here. That’s on fire.

3:05 PM Holy shit. Journal, do you remember that one room, back on the first day of this Rapture shit? And there was a room with a TV and a chess table? Kinda? Yeah, well… it’s giant now. Like, I’m the size of a cockroach or something. And also, I’m in it. In case that wasn’t obvious.

3:10 PM It took me five minutes to walk from one end of the room to the other. Where the hell am I supposed to go? ..there’s a giant air vent there.

3:18 PM Finally reached it, and I’m in now. Not sure where I’m going. Holy fuck I’m in a spaceship. There’s that Sun of Nothing again, the giant eye. It’s watching me. I’m buying some curtains.

3:30 PM I’ve looked all over this little spaceship, and I can’t seem to find any clue as to where I’m supposed to go. I mean, there’s one locked door, but I doubt the exit’s in there. Then again, I’ve been wrong before.

3:35 PM Okay, how am I gonna open this goddamn door. ..oh my god duh, crowbar, hello. I’m stupid. Kay, here goes.

3:36 PM It’s pretty dark in there. LET’S DO IT. I can’t see shit Took a right. Still not sure where I am. FFU Nearly fell down something. I’m now crossing a bridge. I think. Kay, uh.. just hugging the walls now, where do I go. …I heard a growl. I’m running. found a crawlspace oh my god hurry

3:39 PM LIGHT. Oh. What. Wait. I think it’s a Metallica concert. What the hell, let’s watch.

3:42 PM “Fuel.” waitwaitwait GIMME FUE GIMME FAI GIMME DABAJABAZAH! ..the whole crowd is booing, the entire crowd is booing. They’re chanting “Frayed Ends of Sanity.” Over and over. All together.

3:43 PM Holy shit, Metallica’s actually playing it. I gotta admit, the crowd has good taste. I love this song, nice and proggy when it gets going.

3:50 PM “And Justice For All,” they’re chanting. And so the band plays it.

4:00 PM “One.” They play it.

4:18 PM “Blackened.” They play it.

4:24 PM “To Live is to Die.” Sheesh, why not just ask to play the whole Justice album, guys? It’d be easier.

4:35 PM “Dyer’s Eve.” And so they play it.

4:40 PM Then they go back to “Frayed Ends of Sanity.” o_o I’m getting out of here.

4:42 PM Holy shit, Neil Peart is out here. I’m so talking to him.

4:50 PM Neil says this is called the Camper Festival. All day, every day. The crowd forces bands to go up and play their most progressive pieces. Neil says, if they ask for “2112” again, he’s gonna punch a guy in the face. I asked if he knows the way out. He does, though he can’t take it, himself. Not until Rush has played. It’s out that door right there. Finally, I asked him if he knows what the hell Rapture is. He stared at me like I was crazy. Then he said “It’s coming.” Going now.

4:52 PM On my way out, I saw Peter freaking Gabriel. Of Genesis fame. He told me, first, that “Rapture is coming” (like I didn’t already know), and that Phil’s gone missing. Phil Collins, that is. ..now I’m going!

4:55 PM This is reality, oh my god finally. Red sky. I seem to be far from Lloret. Good. I’m fucking starving.

4:58 PM ..seriously, a gas station? Where there’s a gas station, there’s food!

5:50 PM Man, I was hungry. I also decided to look at the list of people to convert. I’ve converted everyone Mistress told me to. There were only three. So what do I do now? Do I just head back? I mean, I suppose. I imagine getting back will be the fun part. I’m gonna walk along this road until I find a house.

6:42 PM Found one. I’m gonna rest up long tonight. I have a long journey home ahead of me, and I plan on looking for as many rabbit holes as I can find to make the journey quicker. So for now, I’m sleeping. Night-night, journal. We’ll be seeing Donnie soon enough. :3

(Attached: “Cringing as I am at Jordan’s behaviour through these logs, I feel it necessary to insert an anecdote of a.. relatively older Jordan, as told from an outside perspective, to perhaps colour the reading experience in a different way. The following took place, I believe, when the two of us went our way through Europe for some errand or two. Jordan and I, being old friends by this point, spent our journey catching up on old times and old humour. On many occasions, he would point at some sight and try to find something witty to say about it, much like he appears to do in his solitary scribblings. Now, a lot of the things he pointed out were such things as blown-up schools, flooded streets, amputee strangers limping along their empty shell of an everyday life, shriveled up and soggy Gingerbread Men lying in gutters and coughing up sprinkles, and landscapes soaked with dried-up blood, so his wit didn’t always work. But I’m not here to critique his jokes; I’m here to suggest a point about a companion. There was one instance in particular that still sticks to my memory: He saw a spidercat that had had four of its legs torn off, its mandibles mangled, and its extra eyes poked out, and he pointed at it and said, --- Look, it’s a cat. I shifted my eyes and said I didn’t really want to look at it. So he tilted his head and asked why not. -- There’s enough suffering, I replied, folding my arms. He looked at the poor spidercat again, curled up under a wooden table in a house’s front yard and trying to sleep and forget, and then he looked back at me, frowning. --- I didn’t mean… -- Forget about it, it’s fine, let’s just keep moving. Where are we now, Poland? He nodded and followed me down the street. I asked how much further it was to.. whatever our destination was at the time. --- A few hundred miles? I dunno, we can ask EAT when we find her. -- Where did it go, anyway? --- Didn’t say. He squeaked a little, then cleared his throat. --- I don’t know. It usually tells me. I slowed down to let him catch up and put my hand on his back. He looked at me and forced a smile. As we walked, he asked me about time travel, how that went. I told him it works, it’s just a little more limited than I’d expected. --- Doesn’t this mean that you could just.. leave this all behind? You could go back to the way things were, the way the world used to be. -- I guess. I’ve only done it once, and it didn’t last long enough, maybe there are adverse effects if I stay for too long. Or… I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. Been caught up in trying to help the world as it is now, y’know? --- That makes sense. Then we walked in silence.”)

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