#exhausting and pointless

[asmogorna]

the model file didnt save this is all you fucking get

[palettepainter]

Warning: Vent

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

the thing about "both parties are the same" discourse in US politics is that, like... yeah. they are. both parties are pretty much the same in most of the ways that matter, and democrats as a whole don't deserve the reputation of the "good guys" when they're often useless at best and actively detrimental at worst.

the thing is though, one party is currently arresting my colleagues with no due process, and dropping a wrecking ball on the entire cancer research field that i've dedicated my life to, and pulling funding from universities for allowing anti-genocide protests, and halting foreign aid packages that could result in the deaths of millions of people worldwide.

so like. you know. there's some nuance here

[ispyspookymansion]

some of you guys post on here like.

LOOK at the campaign promises youre being STUPID if you cant understand the clear great option in this usamerican election year:

view of: TRUMP BIDEN

finding atlantis ❌ ✅

UBI** ❌ ✅

genocide ✅ ✅

“trans rights” ❌ ✅

cars 5 movie ❌ ✅

ending gravity ❌ ✅

just LOOK at the list its all right there the obvious right answer because politicians never lie and we have NO term to look back on to showcase whether or not thats true so just VOTE BLUE!!!!

[lunasberry]

life feels so pointless.

I don't know why I'm here.

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

turns out poetry and fiction aren't that great when you can't feel any connection with them 90% of the time

[all-pacas]

morning! like probably the rest of you i both slept and feel like shit. In a way, that’s why this tumblr exists for me, to detach: I’m on a personal level going to take a couple days off of news and phone alerts and block the politics tag, just to level out and calm down. And that means I’m also going to go back to my usual spam here. Disassociation. 🙃

[pinehutch]

Tuesdays were a mistake

[autisticlee]

sometimes I have autistic realizations that hit really hard.

I'm listening to a podcast (science vs) episode about meditation and what it does/how you do it/if it works. first there was an example of a meditation for mindfulness and focusing on breathing and how it feels. I was thinking how that seems pointless because i'm always aware of how it feels to breathe: my chronically stuffy nose, asthma, ribcage/back hurting if I breathe too deep/etc. but I already knew I have to think about breathing more than most people or I might accidentally hold my breath, and my chronic stuffy nose is very annoying to deal with.

then this part i'm at now talks about how most people go through taking a shower without really realizing they're doing it, like they arent feeling the shower sensations and just go through the motions. so mindful showering is feeling the water on your skin, feeling the temperature of the water and how it changes, etc. "being present, knowing what it feels like, knowing you are there and alive and having that experience..." and that's what mindfulness is.

the thing about me, due to being autistic, i'm basically practicing mindfulness 24/7 against my will. my sensory units in my brain are on constant overdrive and I cannot turn them off. i'm aware of every sensation and feeling and sound and etc at all times and can't ignore them.

the big realization this gave me is that...I'm profoundly aware of being alive and present. i'm overly aware of what i'm experiencing at all times. while most people can use mindfulness to ground themselves from overwhelm and anxiety caused by every day life worries, I GET anxiety and overwhelm from mindfulness-like experiences.

how do i tune things out and turn off my brain? I need an anti-mindfulness method that isn't dissociating out of my mind 😅

[san-arkadia]

Without any more care to spare (rework of the previous corrupted albedo ive made)

[galaxywhump]

Not to start anything but if people stop writing what they like it doesn't mean they'll start writing what you like.

[merge-conflict]

I do assume companies like Arasaka and Militech have 24/7 employee resources available for like gyms/food/leisure– basically everything but a full bed. You can drop by the caf and grab a snack at 3am and get some coffee from a vending machine and grab a shower in the gym when you wake up with a backache from sleeping at your desk and then get your daily push of stimulants directly into your brain and do it again. The technique of locking people in a conference “war room” until they’ve done the project or task that needs to be done ASAP used often to get stuff over the finish line by the end date a bunch of managers signed off on. Then of course the parts of the city like Jig-Jig that basically give corps on a rare night off the ability to get blackout drunk with their coworkers and get into trouble and then slug some hangover cure and go back in at it again. Standard worker efficiency has got to be absolutely stupid low.

[nessasbabydoll]

i’m so full of rage it makes me nauseous

[burntblueberrywaffles]

I fear you could put a gun to my head and I would still not be able to focus on studying for this exam

[sadgirlautumn]

Anyway I’m sorry for talking about Taylor drama on my Taylor blog lol. In general i usually ignore what’s going on (unless it’s like actually important) but this is so similar to my personal life I can’t help but complain on tumblr dot com!

[greenfiredragonfly]

Therapy today. It always comes back to masking,, being myself and expressing emotion is punished,,, etc etc I haven't felt comfortable being totally authentic in any situation in...months and months and months and months and...I've only been just a little bit vulnerable in slivers. If I actually let go then I'll be thrown off of a cliff, right? Plummet. Be left a mangled, bloody mess at the bottom and never recover again again